Chapters: 12/?
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Harry Potter & Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape (unrequited), Severus Snape/Original Female Character(s)
Characters: Severus Snape, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts Staff, Prince Family (Harry Potter)
Additional Tags: Severitus | Severus Snape is Harry Potter's Parent, Time Shenanigans, Dark Magic, Worldbuilding, Wizarding World (Harry Potter), Wizarding Culture (Harry Potter), Post-Voldemort's Halloween 1981 Attack on the Potter Family (Harry Potter), Pre-Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Horcrux Hunting, Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter), Custody Arrangements, Blood Adoption (Harry Potter), Demisexual Severus Snape, Protective Severus Snape, Severus Snape Adopts Harry Potter, Severus Snape remembers he Has a Heart, NaNoWriMo 2023, Discussion of failed pregnancies and miscarriages, Potioneer Severus Snape, there's more to Magical Britain than Hogwarts and Diagon Alley, Stillbirth (mentioned), no beta we die like lily evans, paganism (Harry Potter), Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, No Albus Dumbledore Bashing
Summary:
Severus Snape doesn't think Albus' plan to martyr Potter will work out and knows nothing of the secret setup to give Harry a chance to live through the killing curse a second time. He decides that what they really needed was to start hunting the Horcruxes years ago instead of waiting for children to do it for them. He sends back his private notes and everything needed to brew a potion to strip off the spells that are restricting his behavior. He expects that his younger self will receive the information in 1992 at best.
On the Summer Solstice, 1985, a listless Severus Snape is surprised by a generous and lucrative gift from his future self.
Featuring: Reluctant schemer turned proud parent. A secret adoption. Narcissa Malfoy and most of the Hogwarts staff trying to get Snape married. Lord Prince decides that a half-blood grandson is better than no grandson, provided he's invented something impressive enough to make up for it. Snape moonlighting as an undercover pedo-catcher to keep his spy skills sharp. The Hogwarts Staff Room betting pool.
This Chapter: Making Pasta with the Weasleys
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this says a lot about Snape's character development for me. There are many parallels drawn throughout the series between Harry and Snape; obviously, they're very different characters but there are similarities too.
I think here Snape is talking about himself. The teenaged Snape we see in the Pensieve is very much like this- emotional, heart on his sleeve, easily provoked, a definite wallower in sad memories... weak. Adult Snape, though he retains some of these characteristics that do emerge in stressful moments (in PoA we see how angrily he reacts to Sirius's escape, for instance) on the whole is a great deal more thoughtful, reserved, calculating, measured.
I think that Snape at some point had to force himself to become this. I think he actually relates to Harry here, and is giving him advice based on personal experience. In my fic he begins to learn to control his emotions partially out of a desire to protect Lily; he's fully aware that she's his weakness (or really, his strength, viewed a different way) and that openly displaying any sort of emotion towards her at all makes her vulnerable to the likes of Avery and Mulciber, who will have the perfect weapon to get to him if they want to.
Severus doesn't have the advantages of his peers, he's not pureblood, he wasn't born into money. If he wants to join the Death Eaters and rise in their ranks, he needs to be subtle, cunning, careful. he can't afford to be careless and entitled like mulciber or bellatrix or even sirius. what he's got to offer isn't his name or his money, it's his sheer talent and cleverness. moving on:
When Voldemort decides to go after Lily this becomes even more important. Imo the reason why Voldemort believes that Snape only "desired" Lily is because that's what Snape told him. He lied to Voldemort's face and told him something probably disgusting tbh because that's the only way Voldemort would accept it and agree, if it was a selfish, callous request that Voldemort could understand. We can see evidence of this here:
Asking Voldemort to spare a mudblood because he was in love with her would likely not have gone over well- and as we know, Voldemort actually bore his request in mind, though obv didn't give enough of a fuck about Snape to follow through. Because although asking voldemort to spare her must have taken serious balls, Snape's mistake here was trusting someone inherently selfish to do something selfless for him.
Clearly he immediately realises this and goes to Dumbledore, which is when controlling his emotions becomes of paramount importance, because now he's working against perhaps the most highly accomplished legilimens of all time.
It's also interesting to me that Snape in this conversation is probably the character who is most forthright and informative with Harry in the whole of OotP until Dumbledore at the end; Harry actually learns a lot in this conversation. And Snape also kind of gives him credit which is interesting too:
like for Snape that's high praise lmao. A shame because if he wasn't so bitter (i.e. didn't wear his heart on his sleeve so much around harry) then he might have actually been pretty helpful to Harry and a decent teacher. Again, during the Occlumency lessons his unrestrained emotion brought up by memories of James is a hindrance. He defies Dumbledore's orders to teach Harry Occlumency because of his emotional response to SWM, as well as honestly doing kind of a shit job before that (by not being empathetic and teaching Harry in a way that would've been actually productive.)
At this point Dumbledore believes that Harry learning Occlumency and controlling his emotions is of vital importance; he turns out to be wrong about this. In Harry's case, it turns out to be his emotional nature that saves him- unlike Snape, who is the opposite. Snape's journey is about learning that some things are more important than his selfish need to give into his own emotions.
By DH Snape's learned this lesson fully; his old hatred for James doesn't stop him from doing what has to be done, from giving Harry the tools he needs. Even in the final moments of his life, he can look past James and see Lily in Harry- and, by giving Harry the information that leads to his self-sacrifice, he can let her go.
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CHAPTER 26 of my fic "IN NEED" is OUT!
Read on A03
“Do you have any idea how you make me feel?” Harry asked. Severus’s frown and narrowed eyes probably told him the answer, “Sev, you make me lose my mind. Have you seen your body, your face? How it makes me tremble?”
Severus scowled further.
“Don’t mock me, Harry,” he begged, but Harry shook his head.
He took Severus’s hand and placed it atop his heart. His fingers could feel the warm skin, the drumming of his heartbeat.
“Can you hear it, beating like mad for you?” Harry asked, and Severus could feel it.
He focused on that drumming. He had spent so much time listening to Harry's heartbeat, to the pace of his heart rate, that he was intimately familiar with its intricacies. And he could tell it was beating faster.
He looked into his eyes. The emerald green he thought one day would make him lose his mind was barely seen, his pupils black with desire.
“I want you, Severus. In every possible way imaginable,” Harry rasped, and Severus felt his parts twitch at the tone, he repressed a shudder, “I’ve dreamt about it and about a life with you for months...”
Then, Harry moved a bit closer, his other hand travelling to Severus's chest. The nightshirt was thin but Severus could feel his strong and warm hand on him, his heart racing with the contact, the warmth of the body coming off of him.
“And believe it or not, you’re the most magnificent, sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on,” Harry whispered. Severus snorted, but Harry didn't break eye contact, “I know you don’t believe it yourself. But if you could see yourself as I see you, Severus... you’d see how marvellous you are.”
“I’m nothing of the sort, Harry. Be sensible. I am neither attractive nor sexy, my body is scrawny and has too many scars, and...”
“And what if I have a thing for scrawny, pale-skinned bodies? What if I have a thing for scars?” Harry asked, his eyes darting down to the scar on Severus’s neck.
In a slow movement, Harry leaned down and nuzzled the skin of his neck, smelling the slight musk scent. Severus was tense over him, his breath audible when he felt Harry’s wet tongue darting out and licking the scar.
His eyes opened wide in surprise and his entire body shuddered, the warmth and wetness of the tongue sending tremors throughout his body. A moan he couldn't stifle escaped his throat, and he heard Harry’s own muffled moan as his tongue felt it reverberating.
He felt the blood pumping to a certain part of his anatomy, and though he didn’t want to go there yet, it was so pleasurable. Harry was so pleasurable.
Harry Potter... The Boy Who Lived, the Vanquisher of the Dark Lord, the most powerful wizard of his time. The war hero everyone worshipped.
But that morning Harry was none of those things. To him, Harry was the man who’d bewitched his heart, his body and his very soul.
“There was never anyone like you,” Harry whispered, his lips still close to his neck, kissing and nibbling at the skin. “You know I’ve had sex with plenty of men, muggle and wizard, but none of them made me feel what you make me feel. There’s nobody else.”
Severus swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbling with the movement.
“What if... what if I’m not ready yet?” Severus asked, his voice ashamed.
“We’ll wait until you are. Like everything else we’ve done, you won’t have to do anything you don’t want,” Harry said, “and if it never happens, then we will never do it.”
“But Harry, you can’t possibly be serious. You’re young and have all your life ahead of you, you don't want to be tied to share your bed and your life with... with someone like me....” Severus trailed off, shaking his head.
It was just too good to be true.
At that, Harry moved away from Severus a bit, sitting down on the bed. He grabbed Severus’s hands and pulled him into a sitting position too.
“Look me in the eyes, please,” Harry said, and his voice sounded serious.
Severus did, locking eyes with him, Harry’s stern and piercing gaze felt as if he was staring into his very soul.
“I love you.”
The world stopped.
Severus's eyes opened wide, his heart making a triple jump in his chest, then began beating like mad. He blinked, astonishment probably written on his face. His entire body shook with Harry’s declaration, his mouth open wide.
“Wh-what— ”
“Did you honestly believe that I've been with you all this time because I love only your little side? I adore my little boy but it’s not just that. It hasn’t been for months now,” Harry continued.
He grabbed his hand and brought it to his lips. Severus felt the warmth of those chapped lips, the tenderness of Harry’s kiss, the love he was pouring into the contact. It made him shudder and he choked back a whimper of pure emotion.
“I love you, Severus. Absolutely all of you, “Harry whispered, his lips grazing his, “I love it when you wake up in the mornings, still groggy and grumpy, and you cuddle with me. I love your witty humour, your knowledge, your sarcasm, and your bravery. And how you try to hide how big your heart is, but you can’t.”
Severus felt heat rise to his cheeks and he lowered his eyes, trying to hide from Harry’s piercing emerald gaze.
But Harry’s hand went to his cheek, gently rising his head to meet his eyes.
“You are amazing, and I still can't believe you're here with me, after everything we've been through...” Harry trailed off.
He leaned down, and Severus could only stand there, speechless, as Harry pecked his lips in a sweet kiss.
“Can't you see? That cottage, the dream of that life in the countryside, would now be incomplete without you. I want to be with you, always. I want to grow old with you, celebrate every wrinkle and every grey hair we have, and wake up every single morning with you by my side.”
Severus felt a lump in his throat and tears misting his eyes. He swallowed, trying to go past that lump, and rasped.
“What can I give you that you don’t already possess?”
“A family,” Harry stated, “you are the only one who understands me, who looks after me, who gets me. And I can look after you, be that someone for you too.”
Severus forced himself to remain calm, and he swallowed, pursing his lips.
“And... will that be enough for you?”
Harry smiled and shifted even closer. He nuzzled his nose with Severus, their breaths mingling together in the minimal space.
And then, he reached forward. The moment their lips met was electrical and magical, like the first time that Severus used his wand to do magic. He felt something tightening in his stomach, his toes curling, and the most magnificent of sensations cursing through his body. The taste of Harry was soft and sweet, like morning in spring.
When they pulled away, Harry was beaming at him, his eyes sparkling with something he could only describe as joy. And he felt exhilarated in the knowledge that he was capable of making Harry feel that.
“This,” Harry whispered as he nuzzled their noses, “will always be enough, Severus. You are always enough. You are extraordinary.”
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