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#good boy al
loliwrites7 days ago
I had a thought. Alex and Addi (maybe in Swden or somewhere else cold) in the middle of winter, under the covers with a fire going, sharing body heat to stay warm. Alex is just so big and I bet he's like a furnace馃悵. Thank you for all your hard work as always.
Bumblebebe馃悵 Alex is the ultimate furnace. He's big and warm and cozy and the perfect antidote to chilliness.
Y'know, our girl Addi's a southern California girl born and raised so her extent of chilly weather is when Santa Monica pier dips into the mid 60s. The average person is maybe in a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Addi's beneath layers more likely seen at a ski chalet. Hell, she hadn't ever seen snow fall until Alex took her to Sweden during the winter. She could hardly believe beauty like that existed outside of film sets where the snow is soap bubbles or shredded paper.
But as such, her body isn't built for inclement weather. It's not built for insulating body heat and preserving calories. It's built for bare feet and sun-kissed skin. Sunny and 75潞. Just when she thought New York winters were harsh, she got thrown into a Swedish winter. Alex's Stockholm apartment was no match for the the flurry outside. The furnace couldn't keep up with the dropping temperature. Addi bundled up in layers upon layers until she could hardly feel a touch of the hand, and yet she still shivered. Her teeth chattered. She endured sporadic jolts of chills that sent her whole body into a fit of spasms.
At first Alex laughed. It was funny to see her so ill-adapted to the weather he'd grown up with and was practically unphased by. But around hour four of constant shivers despite the down parkas and ski pants she had pulled on, he was no longer laughing. It was actually quite pitiful to see this poor, little thing in a constant state of discomfort and distress.
However, the moment Addi realized she had the perfect solution right in front of her eyes, it became impossible for Alex to create any sort of pace between them. She knew Alex was built different -- his body seemed to constantly permeate warmth. It had also been the reason why during LA summers she shrugged away from him in her sleep. Now, she regretted every moment she ever did that.
It didn't matter where they were or what time of day it was. Just as much as she would be glued to his side while they slept; completely tucked and enveloped by his body, she was equally glued to him during breakfast... often times sat directly in his lap while they both picked at their own plates. During any lounging times, she was curled up into him, or in the process of dragging him closer to her to share the warmth.
And the times where he could convince her to leave the apartment and brave the weather with him, she'd forego their stance on minimal PDA and practically be inside his peacoat with him.
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loliwrites9 days ago
I'm having a really hard time believing that Alex and Addi didn't at least have a make out session before they started dating 馃槀 their chemistry was on another level even when they were just friends. It seems like their "friendship" is very playfully romantic so maybe one night they've had a bit to drink and they have at it and then Addi is all weird because... she's Addi, but Alex is all sweet and gentle and wants to talk about it with her. I'd love to know if that's something that you also think would happen between them xx 馃槝
(We've been hitting' pre-relationship hard lately, haven't we friends? 鈽猴笍)
Oh man Non. Got me thinkin'.
I know it seems totally implausible that nothing would've happened because of how affectionate they are in their platonic relationship, but like... it does happen 馃槀 I have honest proof of it. I have a friend like that and I shit you not, he was a saving grace during the pandemic. You know the point where you just need another living human body to cuddle with that's not family? Good cuddles for movie nights (especially the back to back National Treasure viewing where we took a sip of beer every time Nic Cage was sexist towards Abigail Chase 馃ゲ). And still just only friends. No wandering hands, glances, or lip placements.
But I could see how given a group of friends and some free-flowing alcohol, how that line might get a little blurred. Because sometimes a group of close friends can get some pretty weird ideas when left alone to their own devices... and gin. Sometimes a group of adults can devolve into younger versions of themselves, and games they would've played in middle school or high school resurface with newfound enthusiasm.
Like Spin the Bottle. Or Seven Minutes in Heaven. Maybe as fate would have it, they got lucky during Spin the Bottle. Amid the various couplings that emerged, Alex and Addi didn't get pinned for it. In fact, maybe they kissed a handful of other people and the turn of the bottle didn't transpire for them. Shit, maybe they don't even think it'd be a big thing or weird for them to kiss during the spin the bottle. They weren't actively hoping they wouldn't have to kiss. It just didn't become a thing. Until --
That beautiful and slightly traumatizing little game -- Seven Minutes in Heaven. You know the one. The one where two people go into a closet and have seven minutes to do... I dunno, whatever they're gonna do (author's note: to be honest, I was too much of a nerd to be invited to parties where this game was being played). So Addi gets chosen first and she makes her way into the closet with a blindfold. Secretly she's hoping one of their mutual friends gets chosen to go in with her. They've been vibing all night and even shared a pretty hot kiss during Spin the Bottle. So yeah, she's looking forward to someone.
The closet door creaks open and she chews on her bottom lip in anticipation. Her body perks up a little bit when she hears the door shut, waiting to be swept up in another kiss. What she doesn't know is that the person standing in front of her is Alex. And for the life of him, he's trying to sort out a game plan here because his best friend is sitting cross-legged on the floor and he has to admit she looks pretty adorable. But again... this is the girl he calls his best friend. He wants to do the right thing.
"It's me, kid," he drops to his knees and contorts himself to be cross-legged in front of her. As soon as he's comfortable, he notices Addi's already taken off the blindfold.
She twists the fabric between her fingers shrugs, "I guess that's for the best." Her shoulders deflate a little bit. The alcohol coursing through her system was giving her enough courage to throw caution to the wind with their mutual friend. Now she likely wouldn't get the chance to. She darts her eyes to Alex with a playful and disarming smirk, "it's not like we're gonna kiss, old man."
"Why not?" He flashes a quick smile at her, "that's breaking the rules of Seven Minutes in Heaven." Scooting forward a little bit, he's shocked but not displeased that she doesn't retreat, "one kiss so we don't have to lie to our friends when we get out of here. You're a terrible liar,"
"Am not. I'm a great liar," her gaze upon him alters slightly to adjust for the fact that he's advancing a bit closer to her.
"Fine, I'm a terrible liar."
"You're an actor for a living. All you do is lie,"
He lets out a quiet huff. "It's just a kiss, slugger. It means nothing. I just kissed like three dudes out there during Spin the Bottle."
As he nears, Addi feels her heart rate pick up. Her cheeks go hot. Everything is bubbling up inside her, woefully excited by the possibility of whatever this is. But that's just it. What is it? As her body shivers involuntarily, she leans away from him. "Alex, no."
He pauses, bites his bottom lip, all the while not breaking eye contact. "Is that a real no or a nervous no?"
"Does it matter?"
There's a second where he says nothing at all just to allow the anticipation fade from his veins. "No, it doesn't,"
She exhales. "I know we kiss on the cheek and head... the lips is just different,"
He nods but he knows what he can say to get this backtracking. "So when you kissed Lindsey out there, that was different for you?"
Addi cocks her head to the side with her lips pursed. Oh, leave it to him to make this difficult, "Alexander. You're you. And a kiss on the lips between us is different. You know that,"
He nods again. They've been toeing this line for awhile now. This line that they both knew was more flirtatious than any other friendship they had with the opposite sex. The line that had been the reason for late-night cuddles in Germany and random naps in LA. The line that had also been toed when they divulged intimate details about their lives and what shaped them into being. A kiss between them was different than between anyone else in the room because no one else in the room knew them as well as they knew each other.
Alex backs up a tiny bit to give her some room. Not too much so she feels like he's retreating from her, but enough to give her confidence that he's not going to sprint past the thinly drawn line. "You know you're my best friend, right kid?"
She nods affirmatively and averts her gaze to her lap. They've only got a few minutes left before the timer outside goes off and one of their friends will come knocking on the door. And she figures a few minutes more isn't too long to hold out on this. But as the seconds tick by and they sit in silence, Addi starts to think. Having too much time in her own head is never a particularly great thing for her, but on this particular night, it's got her making a list of the reasons why a kiss really means nothing. She's kissed four girls and three boys tonight. One of those boys slipped his tongue into her mouth. And surely Alex wouldn't do that. Surely their kiss wouldn't be much more than a peck --
A sturdy knocking on the closet door yanks her from her thoughts. Alex stands and holds his hand out to her so she can use it to help her stand up as well. No sooner than she's on her feet and Alex is reaching for the doorknob, she whispers, "hey old man..."
He turns back toward her as she's leaping up on tip toes to reach him. And catching her by the waist, he leans in as if on cue to meet her halfway. The kiss is just as each of them expected -- only a touch longer than a peck. And by the time they part and exit the closet, none of their friends are wiser. In fact, they all steadfastly believe the two shared a rather uneventful seven minutes in a dark utility closet. But they know the truth (regardless of how minor that truth was), and Addi knows that after the kiss, Alex was a little more hands-on with her all night. Again, their friends couldn't have discerned the difference. It was so slight. A quick touch here, a gentle brush of an arm there. At one point as they all huddled on the back porch for night caps and cigarettes, Alex kept his free hand on her mid-back. Undoubtedly given confidence by the cover of darkness.
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loliwrites14 days ago
Hi, friend! Thinking about Alex inviting Addi to a premiere of a project he shot a while before Addi's movie. They are not official yet, of course, perhaps not even with each other, but she shows to support him and he's quite nervous about it lol. He sits next to her during the screening, and tries to catch glimpses of her reactions with the corner of his eyes.
OHKAY I see you Non. You鈥檙e tapping into my pre-relationship kink 馃槀 Dammit I have problems.
This is so something that happens pre-relationship (because my brain thinks that鈥檚 cute), where Addi is actually really shocked when he asked her to go along with him. It sort of seems like that was out of left field. She hadn鈥檛 worked on the movie being shown, plus Alex had attended numerous premieres and events alone or with his fellow cast members. She doesn鈥檛 really understand why he's insisting she attend as his plus one, but nonetheless, she gussies up and agrees because as a friend, he's asking her to. And for whatever reason, she's going to be there to support him.
The car ride to the venue is even a little quiet. Alex is fidgeting with his cuff links, not saying much. He seems a little preoccupied and she's content to let him be. There's not much she's going to be able to do, or even say, to ease his anxiety.
He eventually breaks the silence as they both know they're approaching the Chinese Theater, and thus, the main event. "I'm gonna get out in front but the driver's going to take you around to the back VIP entrance so you can get into the theater." It's said matter-of-factly, and Addi can't help but notice that it is all very businesslike. "I think someone's going to show you to our seats,"
"Hey," she calls as the car rolls to a slow halt. "Don't worry about it. It's all good. You razzle-dazzle the red carpet and I'll see you inside,"
That at least makes him break into a small smile. "Did you just say razzle-dazzle?"
She rolls her eyes and flicks her hand in his direction, "get going, Skarsg氓rd."
Within a matter of seconds, he opens the car door and slides out. A flurry of screams and shrieks erupt at his presence and from the window, she can see that he's schmoozing the crowd and press like the professional he is. And sure, maybe a little part of her feels awkward with the situation, and even a little more confused as to why she's here. She doesn't have to walk the red carpet with him; she's not offended by that. But as the car circles the building and turns down some old, decrepit Hollywood alley, she doesn't understand why Alex couldn't do this by himself. He's going to do his duties on the carpet, he's going to get into the theater after the lights are already down and sit next to her, and not talk because who talks through a movie, and it's all going to be over without her contributing anything that seems remotely helpful. And if all he was searching for was physical moral support, then she can be the warm body for that.
Outside of the fact that she doesn't really know what she's doing there, the situation she's in proves to be a powerful networking tool. That back VIP entrance? It was the entrance for all the celebrities and high-echelon people attending who didn't want to walk the red carpet. So now she's in a mostly empty theater with these pretty powerful people, and it gives her a chance to introduce herself and get friendly and talk about what she's doing to help spur things on for the next project to jump onto.
It's probably a good while later (she can't really tell because her dress doesn't have pockets and her phone's locked away in her clutch), but the lights flash on and off, and pretty soon the theater is full of fans and press. And through a door that says "EXIT", Alex comes in, ducking low, and makes his way in the darkness to the open seat beside her.
"Hey slugger," he leans over and whispers.
"How was it?"
"Good. Thanks." Then as if on autopilot, he presses a kiss to the side of her head.
And that's a little weird. They're pretty close and affectionate friends, but he's never done that before. Sure there're kisses on the cheek in greeting and goodbye, but she sure as shit doesn't know what that head kiss just was. Especially not in a public place, no matter how dim the lights were.
The opening credits begin to roll. The first action scene is underway. But Addi's hard pressed to even remember what movie she's sitting down for. Their friendship was easy; forwards and backwards. It was never difficult, never pressed, everything happened just as it should. They weren't confusing. They couldn't be confusing. This was the easiest relationship of any sort in her life.
It was almost like she blinked and the movie was over. Then a whole new set of anxiety set in over fear that Alex would ask about some detail of the film and she wouldn't be able to answer because she paid attention to zero percent of it. Where she thought there would be some chatter and small talk afterwards, Alex nods his head to the side and they manage to escape shortly after the end credits finish. Even more to her astonishment, their car and driver is just outside the back entrance, waiting for them.
He opens up the car door for her and slides in after, quickly shutting the door. "Hey Sam, we can head back to that address from earlier tonight,"
The driver looks in the backseat through the rear view mirror, "yes, Mr. Skarsgard."
Alex blushes and glances at Addi, "I hate when he calls me that."
She reaches across the backseat and sets her hand over his, "you did good tonight,"
He looks down at their hands, not making any notion of moving. Yet his gaze must've frightened her because not too much later, she pulled her hand away and replaced it in her lap. "Thanks. I was a little nervous about this one." He glanced out the window momentarily, "what'd you think about it?"
She swore she felt her face drop and figured he saw it too. There wasn't a part of her that wanted him to internalize her expression as a sign of something more. "It was good. You were wonderful,"
"That bad, huh?"
"I didn't say that,"
He chuckles and looks out the window. They don't have very far to go. And Addi's thankful for that. She doesn't know how much she has in her to act like she's not freaking out on the inside. Maybe she shouldn't have been reading so much into it. It was just a kiss on the side of the head between friends. That's it. But did friends kiss each other like that? She wasn't so sure. Maybe Alex picks up on it as well because he didn't ask too many questions. A couple here and there that were so incredibly surface level, she could answer them without even being in the right frame of mind.
Her apartment building was a godsend and she thought escaped too much more awkwardness. That is... until he gets out with her and makes the motion to walk her up to her apartment. She shouldn't have been surprised, he did that all the time. But this was one night she hoped he wouldn't.
They stand next to each other in the elevator, shoulder to shoulder, almost in complete silence. He doesn't make any notion of feeling awkward or put off, and Addi all but leaps out of it once they arrive at her floor. Even as she slides her key into the lock, Alex is right behind her, and he presses his hands to her hips when she opens her front front and turns back to face him.
"It was great tonight, Alex. Thanks for bringing me along,"
No, thank you," he leans in for a hug, slightly pleased that she doesn't absolutely recoil from him. But as they part, he can still find trepidation on her face. "What's going on, slugger?"
"Nothing. What do you mean?"
He laughs and scratches the back of his head. "You're being weird. Everything was fine before the screening so either you hated the movie that much, or something else is up,"
Addi squints her eyes, trying to figure out how she can wiggle her way out of this one. But the more she wracks her brain, the less she can find a way out. She relents and folds her arms over her chest, leaning against the doorjamb.
"I'm not being weird,"
"Oh you're not?" He waits and frowns a little bit as she shakes her head no. In that moment he knows that whatever's going on isn't going to be sorted tonight. "Okay, then. Thanks again for joining me tonight. I guess I'll just see you at work tomorrow,"
They say their goodnights and Addi's a little slow to shut the door, even after Alex has turned away from her and is making his way down the stairs. She's upset at herself. That's the only person she can be upset with. Alex gave her the opportunity for honesty and that was a big part of their friendship.
So as she goes to sleep that night, she has to come to terms that that was the first time she lied to him.
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nemicoamatomio15 days ago
Text
Lol, my Joe in tear away pants post got flagged. I knew that was gunna happen.
Chris Pontius鈥檚 ass was just too powerful for the Tumblr Gods.
Oh well. The thought of Joe doing party boy will live forever in my mind.
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loliwrites17 days ago
Hi Loli! Haven鈥檛 dropped in for a while but I鈥檓 still here! I was wondering if I could get a lil bit of angst? I鈥檓 not feeling great today tbh! Basically, I have a really small friendship group, like 3 people, and one is my best friend and has been all my life. We made plans a couple weeks ago for next week and I asked if she was still on and she said she鈥檇 forgotten and made plans with her boyfriend instead and she couldn鈥檛 make it and it got me thinking that everyone I know seems to have someone else in their lives that they would always choose over me and I don鈥檛 have anyone. I鈥檓 always second choice and it just put me in a downward spiral and I wonder how Alex would help Addi if this happened to her? I鈥檓 currently sat in a blanket burrow, knitting and crying with a baileys on the rocks and a box of chocolates 馃槥 - 馃惉
Anonymous said: Hi loli! It was my birthday today and I was planning a small get together bbq and I invited 5 of my friends and only 1 turned up and 2 of the 4 who didn鈥檛 come couldn鈥檛 even be bothered to wish me a happy birthday and it鈥檚 driven me into a downward spiral and I just feel so lonely and like no one cares about me. How would Alex help Addi if she got into this mindset and started talking bad about herself and how it鈥檚 her fault her friends didn鈥檛 come etc, while they were getting ready for bed that night? - 馃惉
Hi Dolph-non 馃惉 Happy belated birthday, friend!! 馃槍 Good to hear from you again, albeit not for happy reasons. I so totally know how you鈥檙e feeling. I have a couple friends who do similar things. Once they get a boyfriend/girlfriend they fall off the face of the earth for everyone except that person. It鈥檚 beyond frustrating and the only way I鈥檝e been able to come to terms with it is that I know what I can and can't rely on that friend for and I lean on other friends (one such person is someone I consider a best friend). But I have a couple聽鈥渂est鈥 friends and know now that I have to lean on that one a little less when聽she鈥檚 in a relationship, and it honestly makes my other friendships stronger.
Maybe it's that sort of situation for Addi -- a friend she's really close to. And they canceled last minute on her to attend to other plans with their boyfriend. On a normal day, that wouldn't rattle her too hard, but maybe this week, she's on her period, and she hasn't seen anyone or had any decompression time from work, so she was really looking forward to a whiskey and chocolate night with her friend. Feeling herself on the verge of a breakdown, she ignored her friend's text and called up the only person she thought could salvage this night from complete disaster.
Alex doesn't really know what's going on. All he's sure of is that she sounded a little broken on the phone and a little more emotional than he'd ever heard her before. As if that in itself wasn't startling, the disheartened plea that was half-sob, was. If he was being honest, he felt it strange to be rushing over to her apartment like on a mission from God. Who was he? Except for a co-worker of sorts, a creative outlet, and admittedly an increasingly good friend. What was going on and what did this mean?
By the time that train of thought is done, he's knocking on her door and being told to "come in," from the occupant. That's how he finds her on her couch, taking a swig straight out of a Jack Daniels bottle like it's nothing more than water. "You have to lock your door, kid,"
She shoots her eyes in his direction knowing they're red but also knowing she hasn't allowed herself to cry. And now, riding that slight buzz on the way to full-on drunk, maybe she'll be able to have a better handle on things.
"I'm boring!" She wails and lifts the bottle of Jack for another sip.
By the time he manages to take a seat next to her, she's already taken another sip. He finagles the bottle out of her hands and sets it on the furthest spot on the coffee table from her. "You're not boring,"
"Then why did I get stood up by my best friend for her boyfriend?!"
And just like that, he knows what this is all about. Why he was the call out of the blue. With that realization, he can't help but smile a little bit. But Addi grows tired of waiting for his answer, and her rebuttal is in the form of reaching across him to get her hands on the bottle of liquor again -- which Alex skillfully slides entirely out of her reach and sets it on the floor beside the couch.
He leans back against the cushions and hooks his arm over the back of her couch, conveniently around her shoulders enough to give her the opportunity to lean in to him should she want it. Like clockwork, that's just what she does. All nestled up in the side of his body, Addi stares at picks at a hangnail on her thumb concentrating on anything but the fact that her friend ditched her and she called Alex to make it better.
"This stuff happens sometimes, kid." He looks down at her and pauses until the silence is enough for her to look back up at him questioningly. He allows his hand to fall from the back of the couch to around her shoulders, and gives her a little squeeze, "people get partners and sometimes it's hard for them to balance all the aspects of life. And in the effort for love, sometimes people get wrongfully ignored to try and make that other relationship thrive."
"It's so dumb," she huffs and crosses her arms over her chest. She knows she's being a tad childish here, but goddammit, she's pissed. "When this doesn't work out, she'll be running back to the person she bailed on,"
"What if this one works out though?"
Now she completely averts her eyes from him. It's a valid point but it's not the one she wants to hear right now. Yes, she wants her friend to find a stable and loving partnership with another human. But she doesn't want to get kicked to the curb while it's happening.
Alex leans forward and grabs the half eaten chocolate bar from the coffee table. He peels back the wrapper and offers it to Addi, who can't help herself, and snaps off a piece. "If she's worth the friendship, you'll just have to know this is a side of her, and one day down the road maybe she'll grow out of this and be able to manage it better. And if she's not worth the friendship, then she's no reason to get upset over."
Addi pushes the last bit of chocolate into her mouth and thunks her head back on his shoulder. "She's worth the friendship,"
Alex nods, almost to himself, and squeezes her shoulder a little tighter, reassuringly. Maybe that's all he'll have to say on the subject and they can spend the rest of the night figuring out how to make it a little bit better... Like with a fiery battle of an episode of Jeopardy. Until the time for bed rolls around. It's late and Alex managed to make her feel better by letting her win Jeopardy and work her off her buzz. But now that she's returning to a sober mind, she also returns to a less than happy mindset. Her face droops a little more and her mood a little more despondent. With a final yawn, Alex suggests she try to get some sleep and she woefully agrees, heading off to her room.
She peels back the blankets and crawls into bed while Alex stands at the threshold, waiting for her to get comfortable before he makes his exit. But tonight, unlike other nights, he can't make a clean getaway before she's calling out for him before he can even fully turn for the door.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" Her eyes widen like a puppy and she purses her lips. "I don't want to be alone,"
Looking like that, it takes a stronger man than he to deny her. "Sure, kid. I'll grab the blanket from the hall closet,"
And again, just as he turns to do just that and set up the couch for himself, her voice stops him dead in his tracks. "You can sleep here,"
For a moment all he can do is stare at her as his brain and body catches up with the reality. Head spinning and blood rushing to different parts of his body, he clears his throat and scratches his head absently. "I don't know if that's a good idea,"
She nods and mumbles out an okay. Whatever she's feeling isn't worth pushing the subject so she simply gathers her duvet in her fists and pulls it up a little further on her body. Reclined in bed, she turns over on her side and tucks her hands in close to her body, beneath her chin.
It only takes a second. The flip of a switch in his brain and the motion to approach her. A moment of weakness; the first one he's seen from her, and instead of retreating and thus showing her that opening up in that way is unacceptable, he goes to her. Whether that's against his better judgment or not. She's turned away from him when he pulls back the blankets to slip in bed with her. The jostling of the mattress is the only thing that gets her to turn over. And in that moment, her eyes flit over his massive frame in her exceedingly average-sized bed. They smile at each other, both thinking the same thing: how utterly ridiculous he looks contorted and curled up in this bed of hers.
"Thank you," she whispers, barely audible.
"Get some sleep, kid." Alex reaches for her and tucks his hand around her neck, easing her closer until she's nestled against his chest. He sets his chin on top of it and takes a deep breath while he scritches the back of her head in a slow rhythm. Sure enough, like clockwork, he hears her breathing deepen, encompassed by sleep. And only then does he allow himself to drift off, too.
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loliwrites22 days ago
I was reading an interview about how Alex has always questioned if girls were interested in him because of his celebrity, or because they thought he was funny or charming in his own right. It made me think that he probably has hidden insecurities, and I wonder how Addi would react when she found out?
skarsgard-daydreams said: This is from the interview:
The Golden Globe winner also spoke candidly about growing up in the spotlight. He began acting at the age of 13, and is actor Stellan Skarsg氓rd's eldest son. "To have people talk about you and say, 'Well this is who Alex is鈥" when I had no idea myself, it just f--ked with my self-confidence," Alexander explained.
"Because if a girl looked at me or seemed interested," he added, "I thought she was only interested because she had seen me in the movie. It made me feel worthless. I wanted girls in school to like me because I was funny or cute or interesting鈥攖hat's what you want isn't it? When you're 13? And I guess when you're 40 as well鈥"
I鈥檝e read/heard him talk about this sort of thing too... Which makes me believe it鈥檚 not a hidden insecurity at all. It鈥檚 very present, at the forefront of who he is and how he sees and interprets relationships (platonic and otherwise). I think this is absolutely one of the crosses he has to bear -- and one he gets caught up on more than he鈥檇 like.聽
To a degree, I think Addi already has this idea or inkling that this might be something he battles with. She鈥檚 seen and been around enough actors to know that they鈥檙e actually really fragile and delicate people. They spend their entire careers being someone else. How could that not fuck you up? But I also think she believes she's eliminated from that way of thinking for him because they honest-to-goodness started off as just friends and work colleagues. So in her eyes her "dues have been paid" in a sense with him. She thinks they've already gotten past the hardships that come with that insecurity. Maybe even in a sound, rational mind, Alex thinks they've gotten past that too.
But insecurities are funny little beasts, aren't they? They sneak up on you just when you think you've kicked them to the curb. You're feeling great, in a great state of mind, and then BAM! the insecurity bitch comes at you throwing elbows and you're knocked down a few pegs... Hell maybe you get kicked all the way back to the ground.
And this is exactly the sort of thing that could/would happen pretty early on in the official relationship... like, in the still hiding it from the public phase. This doubt and second guessing. Shit, this is the sort of thing that probably happens the morning after an amazing night together. The lust, and passion, and pure desire for each other had them feeling positively love-drunk through rounds one, two, and three. It was the sort of night where they both knew that the other was pouring every bit of themselves into the act; of wanting -- nay, needing -- to give everything they had. Addi was soft and small and in turn, Alex was the gentle provider. The sort of night that by the end of it, they had solidified exactly how they felt for each other.
But Alex woke up in a cold sweat that night and had to peel Addi off of him. And the anxiety he knew and thought he had long abandoned, crept back and nestled inside him. When he looked at her in the dead of night, watching the way her chest rose and fell in a perfect, unconcerned rhythm, all the anxiety let him see were all the flaws of their relationship and himself.
Our girl Addi is one smart cookie. But even if she weren't, it wouldn't've taken a rocket scientist to know something was wrong when she came up behind Alex in the kitchen and pressed a delicate kiss to the center of his bare back, only to have him shrink away from her. She eyed him as she poured herself a cup of coffee, but he avoided eye contact, and instead, flipped open a newspaper she didn't even know she had.
"Are you okay?" She asked and cringed at the first bitter sting of black coffee going down her throat.
Alex flipped the newspaper over and started scanning over the business section. "Yeah, fine,"
She frowned and took another sip of coffee, "you don't seem fine."
"How do I seem?"
"Surely not like someone who went multiple rounds of passionate sex with their girlfriend only..." she leaned over to get a glance of the microwave clock, "eight hours ago."
His face seemed to blush at the admission and just when she thought she could lean in and give him a kiss, he dodged her again in the most un-obvious of ways.
"What's the problem, Skarsg氓rd?"
"Nothing's the problem," he defended and reached for his coffee cup.
But Addi wanted to have this chat even if he didn't. She slid his coffee cup away from him, out of reach. "It's Saturday morning. I've got all day to play this game. And I don't lose, so save us the trouble and time and spill it."
He stared at her for a second, reluctant to say anything. But she was there, sitting without movement like she was a renaissance statue carved from marble. And he knew that he wasn't bound to get out of the kitchen without having a conversation about what was milling about in his brain.
"Why do you like me?"
Addi rolled her eyes, "oh, we're going here this early in the morning?" Then seeing that he'd traded in his anxiety-ridden expression for something more stoic, she quieted down and grew more serious.
He tilted his head to the side, absently, "we don't make a ton of sense, so what was it? Was it power? Was it fanaticism or fantasy? Was it who I had worked with and that you'd be closer in proximity to them?"
"Strangely enough," she folded her arms over her chest, somewhat annoyed that he was putting this on her; projecting a fear or an agenda. "Aside from you being hands-down the most attractive man I've ever seen, I like you because you're kind. I like you because you treat everyone with gentleness and respect. I like you because you're charming and hilarious. I like you because you treat me better than I've ever been treated by anyone. But mostly, I like you because you're terrible at Jeopardy and I always win," she tried to hide a grin but ultimately felt that fail.
He reached for his coffee cup and this time, Addi let him have it. She stared at him as he took a sip, not saying anything in return. In fact, it seemed as though his brain was reeling more now than ever.
"We were friends first, Alex, don't forget that. You were special to me long before you started fucking me,"
He half-laughed into his coffee and flicked his eyes to her. Setting down his cup, he dragged a fingertip over the ceramic. He took a breath to give himself time to figure out what he wanted to say next. "I know, I just... panicked, I guess. I have -- or had, a tendency to pick people who didn't make me feel great about myself."
She leaned in a little closer, feeling like Alex wouldn't shy away from her as he had done before, and placed her hand on his thigh. As she inched it up towards his crotch, she caught that he focused on it, and she whispered, "I don't make you feel good?"
He swallowed, cheeks flushed, and looked back up into her eyes, "you do, kid. But feeling this good in a relationship made me get into my head."
Addi nodded and pressed her palm gently against his crotch. She leaned in a little closer, gaze switching focus between his eyes and lips. "We don't make sense?"
"Not really," he cupped his hands on either side of her neck, "but for once I don't want to logical about it."
She grinned and made the last little effort to kiss him. The relief that washed over her when he reciprocated the kiss was insurmountable. She breathed in deeply through her nose, curling her fingers over the outline of his member, and let out a semi-audible gasp when he pulled away and his hold on her neck got just a tad rougher.
"And I'm not terrible at Jeopardy,"
"Oh," she winked and giggled softly, "okay."
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time-and-space24 days ago
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They couldn't show Dean Winchester listening to a single song from the A Day at the Races album because it's all about Freddie Mercury's gay yearning and he would have got it
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wombatlovesyou26 days ago
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I just finished below zero and listen- I'm not saying I'm a monster fucker now because I'm still very much asexual, but al-an is my alien boyfriend and there's nothing any of you can do about it
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loliwritesa month ago
Sooo it seems like Alex always puts Addi's satisfaction first. What would his reaction to her faking an orgasm be? Would he take it personally? 馃 Now there's a thought... 馃槀
Oh ho ho Non. Thank you SO MUCH for bringing this little situation up. Let鈥檚 explore, shall we?
So, our girl Addi hasn鈥檛 really had the best of luck with romantic, intimate relationships.聽Past boyfriends didn't really focus on her pleasure as part of the process... or even the point of the process. If y'all remember, the first time she and Alex do it, he says to her that this is supposed to feel good for her and she's allowed to enjoy it. And she's a little shell-shocked at that because it's as if she didn't know she was allowed to. Maybe faking an orgasm was something she picked up in past relationships because she just never got there. And at that point, she thought it was her fault. She thought the guy was earnestly trying to get her there and her body was just being stubborn. So faking it became a sort of apology, and it just so happened that none of those boys could tell the difference (probably because they'd never actually gotten a girl off).
Now, Alex wasn't aware faking orgasms was in her repertoire of skills. That wasn't a conversation that had ever come up. She mentioned here and there that sex wasn't something she ever really enjoyed (and felt guilty about that). And when he reasoned that might've been because she'd never had good sex, she just shrugged. It wasn't until they actually consummated the relationship that she realized Alex had been right. Up until him, she hadn't been pleasured. She hadn't been the focus in sexual escapades and it showed.
Through practice and trial, they learned what the other liked and needed to get there, and the need for faking it drifted off to a distant memory... until the night it wasn't.
She had spent the day overthinking everything because she had made an error at work and thought that was it -- that someone would cut her loose and word would get around town that she was terrible at her job and no one would hire her again. When it actuality, no one was thinking of her mistake ten minutes after it happened. But her mind was a lemming that had jumped off the cliff and into the ocean tide. And after running herself ragged at work, she just wanted to curl up on the couch and throw on an episode of MASH, or Frasier, or Jeopardy, and chill out. Only... Alex had spent his day of work vibing and feeling on top of the world. And when he came home, he wanted to feel himself on top of his little slugger.
And look -- I hc that Addi has a bit of trouble with physical intimacy, especially early on in their relationship. Like there's an aspect of her that fights with the idea of remaining her own person but also feels like sex is something that comes with relationships, and sometimes she's just gonna have to do it when she's not exactly feeling it (author's note: you never have to do it if you're not feeling it. Shut that shit down, and if your partner responds poorly, get yourself a new partner). The idea of saying no to Alex when he wanted sex wasn't really even a thought in her head to that point. So. She. Let. Him. Have. At. It.
She went through the motions and cooperated when he went down on her. She even made a half-assed attempt to look like she was going to go down on him, knowing he was so riled up that he'd stop her. And as they had sex, she gave him moans and noises to convince him of what she wanted. At the end of the day, even if she wasn't so jazzed about having sex at the moment, she wanted him to be able to get a release. She wanted to help him with that. And unlike with boyfriends in the past, the act wasn't causing her physical pain.
Oooooh and our girl knows the man she's with. Knows that he's a stickler for not climaxing until she does. Knows that he puts her pleasure on the forefront always. And so she also knows that the only way she'll get him to get his release is to have an orgasm for herself. Or in this case: to fake it.
That's exactly what she did. Clawed at his back and shoulders, squeezed her legs tighter around his hips, threw her head forward against his chest and let out a deep, throaty moan. Shit, if she didn't almost buy the act herself. She even mumbled something against his chest; something along the lines of telling him to come for her. She said it on autopilot. She always said something along those lines after she came. But tonight, Alex paused. His hips stilled, his elbows pressed deeper into the mattress to part himself from her, and he looked down at her now exposed face.
"Did you...?" He squinted his eyes because right now, he could hardly believe what he just felt (which was nothing). "Did you just fake that?"
She felt the blood rising to her cheeks, knowing she had to do something... anything to de-escalate this and get him the release he was chasing. Deny everything at all costs. "What? No,"
"Why'd you fake an orgasm?" It didn't sound accusatory at all. In fact, he sounded more hurt.
"I didn't fake it,"
But she knew she was losing control of this speeding train because Alex backed his hips up until he slipped out of her, "I know what it feels like when you come and that wasn't it." And then her worse fear... he got off of her and left. Now -- it's really only into the bathroom so he can dispose of his condom, but in the moment, him leaving the situation drove her into a near panic. Even when he returned, her breathing had picked up to rhythm incommensurate with their activity. "Why did you fake it?"
"I didn't--" she protested but instantly cut herself off when he crawled back onto the bed and sat in front of her, resting his hand on her thigh. "You wanted it. And you're my boyfriend, so..." This time she quieted down because the expression on Alex's face heightened her concern to the next level.
"I don't get free access to your body just because we're dating; you know that, right?"
She closed her eyes, "we're together so you can just--"
"No," he cut her off with a squeeze to her leg, "you get that, right? You don't owe me sex because we're in a relationship. You can, and should, say no when you don't want sex. End of story. I don't get special treatment with that just because I'm your boyfriend." He ducked his head to try and catch her gaze. Once he succeeded in that, he offered a warm grin, "believe it or not, it's not a ton of fun for me to have sex with my girlfriend when she doesn't want it. It actually makes me feel kind of scummy,"
Her eyes welled up with tears and she reached out, making grabby-hands at him until he crawled up and settled next to her. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight to his chest, and tugged one of her legs over his so she was half resting in his lap.
"Don't be angry at me," she pleaded and glanced up at him. "I'm sorry,"
"Sweetheart, I'm not angry at you," he kissed her forehead. "It's okay for you to say no to sex, no questions asked. I'm an adult man, I can handle that. You don't need to put yourself through anything you don't want for my pleasure." He swiped his thumb over her cheek, "and let's not fake orgasms. If we're not gonna get there, we're not gonna get there, but let's not fake them. Capeesh?"
She nodded and nestled her head against his chest, "capeesh."
Addi fell asleep like that; hunkered down against his side, head resting on his chest while he ran his fingers through her hair with gentle precision. Come morning, she'd still feel a little guilty about the whole thing. For feeling like she had to lie to Alex about the extent of her pleasure in that moment. She thought she'd get up early and fix him some breakfast in bed. But no sooner than she tried to wriggle away, Alex wrapped a strong arm over her waist and pulled her back toward his body. He mumbled something about not letting her run away that easily and hushed her when she started to get fidgety. Soon realizing that he was adamant about not letting her escape from him, she settled and allowed herself to fall back asleep for a little while longer.
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yououghtaknowmp3a month ago
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NEW CLIP:聽鈥淏urn鈥
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31310330/chapters/77691581
#skam brighton#this is what i like to call a MOMENT in al's hot boy summer#hot in the literal sense :) it's arson time :)#literally he's hot he's a boy he's writing like he's running out of time and he's very mentally unstable but he's HOT#also i have had a very good day today :)#i can't remember if i posted about it on here#but i applied for a national arts mentorship programme with queens university#and i got a phone call from them today that they're 'very interested' in me#and they haven't said i've been shortlisted yet but they're told me when and where the event for shortlisted people is#and they mentioned they've been looking into matching up other artists to me..... so i'm really hoping i'm gonna get in#it's a really good opportunity as an artist but also from a careers/academic perspective#also i applied with a song from my autism musical and the church scene from skambr s3 e4 c5#to show Range and such. i really want to get in because it would literally be Life Changing for me.#and it would let me get some of my work performed professionally AND i would get paid#but if i don't get in i'm going to be doing driving lessons instead and hopefully getting my license which would be cool too :)#but god. the idea of being able to work on my musicals with a professional mentor all summer would be amazing#and it would basically be my first ever job/internship which would be So Cool#because i wasn't in school when i was supposed to do work experience and now it's too late for me to do it#but being able to do work experience with an actual theatrical professional... someone who Understand theatre and will help me improve#my mum called the organiser of the programme today to confirm that she knows i'm applying (because i'm a minor)#and she was like 'oh i support isaac so much and will do anything to help him get to where he wants to go'#and i felt like SUCH a rachel berry esque theatre kid in that moment. i felt like a kid on dance moms but in a good way.#but my mum isn't a Theatre Mom. she's just really supportive and kind <3#anyways enjoy the clip besties. i really like it <3#OH also ms olivia rodrigo's new album tonight. very excited for it#i'm a pisces mars so i enjoy her music very much (a very gay little sentence)#if skambr was a real show i would love to see a parallels post of the good 4 u music video and this clip for Fire Reasons#ALSO nick/bree/rori good 4 u amv. nick/liz/james drivers license amv. sandy/sophie/esther deja vu amv.#anyways just got hit with the inspiration to write a song <3 see you tomorrow besties
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loliwritesa month ago
Thank you so much for doing my request! It was just how I imagined it!! I hope you don鈥檛 mind me asking for another one! Maybe you could write something about Addi getting crafty with wool when she鈥檚 pregnant like knitting and crocheting ( totally not based on me and obvs) and her finding a really cute bunny blanket crochet pattern and she鈥檚 sat all cuddled up trying to do it but she鈥檚 gets stuck and can鈥檛 get her head round a certain part and Alex isn鈥檛 that good at crafts but he tries his best to help her and stop her from getting wound up with herself 馃グ馃グ - 馃尪 (maybe you can call me 韦蟽委位喂 (Tsili)? It鈥檚 the Greek word for chilli and that鈥檚 where I鈥檓 from!)
Ooooh sweet! Tsili-Non馃尪 馃槍 Ask away!
Is this a pregnancy hobby? This is soooo a pregnancy hobby she picked up later on after the doctor told her to take it easy with work and not be on her feet so much. Actually, it was probably something Alex suggested. Instead of letting her stew in bed annoyed and frustrated that she wasn鈥檛 allowed out of it for very long, Alex handed her a ball of yarn and some knitting needles and let her have at it.聽
Only, she鈥檚 not very good at it despite the books she鈥檚 read and the videos聽she鈥檚 watched. And on top of that, she doesn't have the patience to wait to get good at it. She just wants to be good at it now. But because of her frustration with the knitting, other (incredibly small) things are starting to set her off too.
Alex hears her breathing get a little heavier. He's just in the other room with the tv turned low. The bedroom door is partly open. He's taken to keeping things pretty quiet around the house incase she needs to call him for something, she doesn't have to exert too much energy. But now he just hears her huffing and mumbling to herself, so he decides to check out what the problem is.
He can immediately see what the issue is. She's not good at it. She can't make any progress without fouling it up somewhere. The needles click together angrily and Addi looks up at Alex as he enters. She brushes her hair out of her face and frowns.
"Alanis Morissette is so DUMB!" She squeezes the needles in her hand and shakes them, "it's not ironic, Alanis. They're all COINCIDENCES!"
For a moment Alex pauses so he can listen to the song. Only... the song's not playing. There's no music on. She's just worked herself into a tizzy to be upset about an Alanis song from the 90s.
He walks over to the bed and sits down beside her, peeling the needles and yarn out of her hands. "I think if she could change the lyrics, she would," his focus remains on her hobby to diffuse the mood in the room.
"Why is rain on your wedding day ironic, Alanis? Why? Does the barometric pressure have something against you?"
There's a lapse in a response for just a split second too long. Then, "she messed up, kid. It's all messed up,"
Addi looks over at Alex. His answer seemed a little disjointed at best, and what she finds is that sometime within the past minute, he's gotten himself entranced with the knitting. His massive paws are curled around the dainty needles and he angles them towards each other, wrapping the yarn around one. It's not helping much. The blanket... or bootie... or cap that it's supposed to be is a lost cause. Their kiddo won't be getting any handmade clothing... At least not made by their own hands.
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yououghtaknowmp3a month ago
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NEW CLIP:聽鈥淭oxic鈥
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31310330/chapters/77412089
#skam brighton#it's once again mashup time besties!!!!!#toxic relationships are only boring to miserable people. i'm having a ball on this bitch.#i'm joking. al and ellie have a very abusive dynamic. but it is very fun to write about.#also you may be asking yourself 'isaac why is one of the songs for this clip on the official playlist the glee version?'#easy answer. the glee version of diamonds are a girls best friend FUCKING BANGS.#it's amazing. it's so fun. also both moulin rouge versions are mashups that aren't in the clip so it makes more sense#unique was very important to me gender wise as a child#when she sang if i were a boy...... that transed my gender so very much#also if you want to listen to a really interesting analysis of how glee tackles gender check out the gleewatch podcast#their episode for 'props' gets into gender and performance in a really insightful way#they also provide trigger warnings for every episode they do and are really good at media analysis#also if you know where the title of this episode is from you know what a ride we're in for :)#genuinely i love writing skambr because i love writing how different types of people react and cope with trauma#i also love writing it because i can write gender moments that are so specific to me#also i'm listening to speak now (the album) whilst editing this clip and just. god. it's literally one of the albums of all time#ALSO someone liked my skambr seasons as ts albums post recently#and i said s6 was evermore before it even came out and i was RIGHT
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loliwritesa month ago
Since you wanted some vacation A&A, I have two ideas. 1. Them lying on the beach feeding each other fruit while the sun sets, and 2 skinny dipping. Feel free to do whatever, you are wonderful as always馃悵
Bumblebebe 馃悵, picture this -- topless beach, a private umbrella and chaise lounges, and the closest person to them nearly half a football field away. All of that AND Alex bet Addi wouldn鈥檛 take her top off. He said it in a way that practically dared her to take it off, and not wanting to聽鈥渓ose鈥 she scrunched her nose, stuck her tongue out, and untied the knot at her back and let the bikini top fall to the sand.
She moved into her lounge chair with poise and ease, and slid her sunglasses down over her eyes knowing that Alex was losing the battle of tearing his eyes off of her. His shy little thing, uninhibited in this new temporary environment. As he sat next to her in his own chair, he was brimming with pride for he knew that she had "won" but also knew that he had nudged her out of an otherwise timid and anxious lifestyle.
It's easy to lose yourself in paradise. The weight of the real world seems so far away. Time drags on but in the best way possible. It's truly like those corny backup singers in I Hope You Dance. "Time is a wheel in constant motion". It is. Only neither of them exactly knows where that wheel is headed in paradise. At home they know the path. They stay the path. But here all bets are off.
The afternoon is passed with playful banter and conversation mixed with frequent dips in the warm-ish waters of the Pacific Ocean and occasional moments of quietness to read; she getting through A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, and he, With the Old Breed. And even less frequent is the short nap Addi took after being out in the sun, draining her of the energy to flip the page in her book even one more time.
However, it's kismet. No sooner than Alex noticed her book fall against her chest, a waiter from the resort approached with a pitcher of water and a bowl of cut up fruit for them -- complimentary for their guests. Alex smiled graciously, mostly because he knew that had the waiter come when Addi was awake, she would've been so overcome with embarrassment for being topless in front of this stranger that it probably would've put a damper on the rest of the day. Alex slid the man a sizable tip and breathed a sigh of relief knowing no one else will bother them for the next little while.
It's like there鈥檚 something in the air that gives her a sixth sense. The indication that a new experience is about to unfold; no matter how adventurous or menial that experience may be. Her legs stretched out first. Then her arms. And Alex heard the familiar squeak of her waking up and loosening out her body. She blinked her eyes cautiously, trying to make sure paradise didn鈥檛 sear her retinas, and once convinced she could keep her eyes open without hurting them, she spotted Alex with the bowl of fruit in his hands. She stared at him, noting how he paused and looked back at her like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Addi nodded her head, gesturing at the bowl. 鈥淲hat鈥檚 that?鈥
He glanced down and poked around until he found a piece of pineapple that looked sufficiently sweet and juicy. He held it out to her, unashamedly staring at her plush lips when she leaned over to take the fruit from him with her mouth. She hummed in delight and watched in earnest when he lifted a piece of fruit to his own mouth. But even that in paradise was something different... something impossibly erotic.
She scurried off her chair and onto his, wiggling her way to make a spot for herself between his legs, which he wholeheartedly accepted and made accommodations for. She then picked up a small piece of mango and held it up to Alex's mouth, giggling and leaning in to him when he nibbled at her fingers with playful exaggeration.
They were lost in this simplicity and ease; both going to be woefully unprepared for when reality set back in. It had almost seemed as though they had become shells of themselves, just shuffling through the doldrums of life. If this was going to change anything, it was going to serve as a re-awakening for their relationship. One tiny piece of tropical fruit at a time.
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loliwritesa month ago
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Congrats @skarsgard-daydreams on your blog's milestone 馃槍 You totally deserve it 馃枻 Here's a little thing for your fun challenge, drawing inspo from this pic:
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She noticed the drop in his demeanor almost immediately. Whether or not he was trying to hide it, it was clear to her that whatever he was going through on location was taking the wind out of his sails. His eyes looked far more tired; like he wasn't bound to get enough sleep to re-energize them. His mouth seemed to be twisted in an almost permanent half-frown. Even the tone in which he spoke was a clear indication that he was enduring something far outside the average work blues. And Addi knew because he had sent her the script as soon as he'd booked the gig. She knew what he was up against: some dark and demented character that he'd have to live in. In the past with difficult characters, he had the luxury of leaving set and going "home" to family or friends, surrounded by love and warmth. This time, he left set and went "home" to an empty and quiet hotel room, surrounded by nothing but his own thoughts. She knew he needed something -- anything -- to center and ground him.
She thought about visiting him until an executive effectively grounded her in New York for a rigorous and speedy re-write. Cursing his name came to mind, but she settled on her own form of rebellion by insisting she work from home and not "dragging her ass all the way to the upper east side". Since a spontaneous visit wasn't in the cards, she searched the internet for a gift, coming upon a website that sent cuddly care packages in the form of stuffed animals. And she was utterly sold when one option was a crocodile... or as she was prone to yelling around the apartment when she needed him for something: KROKODIL! She knew Alex would get a kick out of it. And probably a lot of comfort too.
And midway through putting in her credit card information, Addi heard the front door close. She hadn't heard it open and it surely didn't close with any extreme force. For some reason her first thought was that an intruder had gotten into the building. But that meant they'd have to take out the doorman which wasn't likely. Giulio looked like he had come right out of a mobster movie and even had the accent to match. So potentially even more frightening, a neighbor had broken into the apartment knowing she was alone. Huddled away in Alex's office, it was only going to be a few moments until they found her unless she got a leg up on them and intercepted. She decided on that option.
Tiptoeing out into the hallway, she felt like a SWAT team member, clearing a house. She glanced around corners, scanned her eyes over anything. When she didn't see anyone in the den or kitchen, she figured the intruder had already made their way into the bedroom. She moved a little faster now, wanting to get a jump on her would-be attacker. Entering the bedroom, her heart dropped. But not out of fear.
"Alex?"
He turned immediately, almost as caught off guard by her presence as she was of his. In the split second before he began to move, she noticed his shoulders were hunched and sagged, and his head hung low. Then in no time he came upon her and fell to his knees at her feet, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face into her stomach.
She dropped her hands to the back of his head, cradling him against her body as her brain tried to catch up with the physicality of what was happening. His breath had deepened and he sniffled back any emotion that was on the verge of breaking out.
"Are you okay?" Addi tilted her head to the side to get as much of a glimpse of him as possible. Alex only shook his head and squeezed her body tighter as if any lapse in intense contact would be the reason why he lost her. "What's wrong?"
But he didn't answer. Much less even give a hint of acknowledging her question. His breathing just grew more staggered and if she wasn't mistaken, tears were now added moisture to her otherwise dry shirt.
"You're scaring me. Alexander," knowing that'd get his attention, she paused and wasn't completely surprised when he pulled away enough to rest his chin on her stomach and look up at her. "Did you get fired?"
Alex took the chance and removed one arm from around her waist so he could rub his eye with the back of his fist, drying away some tears before they had the chance to fall. He shook his head in response to her inquiry, then hugged her yet again as tightly as he could.
"What're you doing here?" She scritched the back of his head softly. But that was next level comfort for Alex, and needing a little bit more, he started to claw at her until she cooperated and dropped to her knees with him. Her heart broke a little bit more when her big guy kissed her shoulder and tucked his head into the crook of her neck, trying to get as much physical touch from her as possible. "You're supposed to be in Mozambique,"
"I needed you, kid," he mumbled into her neck and scooted his body in even closer to her.
She didn't know that was even possible until his new position made it impossible for her to remain in hers and she adjusted to sit on his lap, still completely embraced in each other.
He lifted his head again to wipe his eyes and this time allowed himself to remain upright. Addi lifted her hand to his chin and scratched his whiskers softly, soothingly, to the point that Alex shut his eyes. "It's hard this go around," he mumbled and gave pause in the event she wanted to chime something in. But she didn't. "I'm just not doing well out there,"
There wasn't much she could do for him; that they both knew. Whether he had meant he wasn't doing well professionally out there, or mentally and physically, neither was sure the clarification mattered. He just wasn't doing well.
"I leave work and I go home to nothing. And all my conversations are about work. And I know we get to talk most nights, but I'm alone and it's... draining."
She nodded and knew that the boy who was raised with an open-door policy and became a man with the same, didn't thrive as an introvert would. "How long do we have each other for?"
"My flight out is in six hours,"
Addi rubbed her hands down his chest and then back up to his neck, "I can arrange for a week in Africa."
"No, you can't." He knew her schedule just as well as she did.
"You sound like my agent," she joked and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm not going to live my life without the agency to see my partner when it matters. No job is worth that. You tell me a week and I'll be there,"
"What about that executive--?"
"Maybe my time away will give him time to center his thoughts."
Sensing her adamance on the subject, Alex just grinned and leaned a little closer to her, pressing their bodies flush together. Shared deep breaths and a few more moments of quietness could start to heal the wounds. In a few hours, Alex would be heading back to the airport and then boarding a plane to Mozambique for another month. He'd go back to whatever demons were in himself and figure out how to handle and squash those noisy voices. But for now, he was safe. There in her arms with her hands rubbing up and down in back in a rhythm he could rely on.
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