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#gonna rewatch new girl and cry after work i think. i need comfort
canary3d-obsessed · 3 years
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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 16, part two
(Masterpost of All the Rewatches) (Previous Post) (Canary’s Pinboard of Stuff)
Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes
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Just A Box of Rain
The brothers find Jiang Yanli and tell her what happened. Pro Tip: a good way to deliver bad news is like this. 1. say "I have bad news" so the person can be prepared for a shock 2. clearly state the bad news. 
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Standing in front of the person with tears streaming down your face and looking away when they try to meet your eyes is not, actually, a super effective method for delivering bad news. 
This episode continues to be punctuated by closeups of characters' hands as they respond to events. 
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Yanli clutches her broken lotus pendant, cutting her palm and bleeding as she weeps.
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Not-at-all symbolic rain drenches the three of them while they cry, standing apart and not comforting each other.
Sometimes a hurt is so deep deep deep You think that you're gonna drown Sometimes all I can do is weep weep weep With all this rain falling down
(more after the cut)
They upgrade their boat with repaired seats and a real oar, and move along toward a hopefully-safer location. 
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The scenery continues to be gorgeous, and it appears to be actually really raining on this river or lake. We see Wei Wuxian's hand on the boat's oar as he takes his siblings to what he hopes will be safety.
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Maybe you're tired and broken Your tongue is twisted with words half spoken
OP is valiantly resisting dropping a chunk of "Don't Pay the Ferryman" lyrics in here, because projecting European symbolism onto Chinese media is not my bag. This scene does carry a lot of weight, though, showing Wei Wuxian’s sadness and isolation, his ever-growing distance from his siblings and reminding us of his servant status. While his siblings sit under shelter with tears falling down their faces, Wei Wuxian stands in the rain, laboring to protect them and not letting his own tears fall.
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It's totally reasonable that Wei Wuxian is the one to man the oar, right? I'm sure Jiang Cheng is the more exhausted of the two of them even though Wei Wuxian started off his day yesterday getting whipped FIVE times by the Zidian and ended it by being choked for 45 seconds.  
Self-Isolation
They reach an inn, where Yanli has a fever, maybe from being left outside all night while her brothers failed to work out any of their interpersonal shit, followed by getting extremely rained on for hours and hours. 
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Wei Wuxian carefully puts on a bright, optimistic face for her, practicing for his future fake happiness after the Burial Mounds.
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Jiang Cheng sits and has a lot of feelings, totally not helping while Wei Wuxian tends to Yanli. This is not typical of him and just shows how deeply shocked he is by what's happened; usually he is extremely attentive to Yanli and careful with her health.
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Wei Wuxian tries to get Jiang Cheng's attention, so that Jiang Cheng can take over caring for Yanli while Wei Wuxian gets medicine. Jiang Cheng is busy staring into the middle distance, and won't respond.
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This is Wei Wuxian realizing that absolutely nobody is going to help him.  
Wei Wuxian goes out in his distinctive robes with no hood or anything, to buy some fever medicine, and is quickly surrounded by guards.  They hear "we caught him" and run off, leaving him be.  
What Wei Wuxian doesn't know, that we learn in Episode 50, is that Jiang Cheng and his death wish decided to take a stroll, and seeing the Wen soldiers approach Wei Wuxian finally snapped him out of his reverie.  So he let himself be caught in order to draw them away from Wei Wuxian. 
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Let's talk about this choice. In terms of clan roles, Wei Wuxian is absolutely the expendable one. Jiang Cheng became the clan leader when his father died, and knew it from the moment he saw his father's body. 
So far he's 1. Tried to go back to fight and die, against his parents' express instructions 2. left his sister alone in an inn with a fever 3. given himself up to be killed in place of his chief disciple, when it's his disciples' job to die for him, if it comes to that. All but two of Clan Yao's disciples died to protect fucking Captain Blowhard, for goodness sake.  
All of these actions are emotionally super understandable; he's young, he's had a terrible shock, and he's an emotional guy who's never heard of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. And I'm not here to defend feudal power structures. But perhaps Jiang Cheng shouldn't ring the "YOU PROMISED" bell quite so loud in the future, considering his own relationship to his obligations. 
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Wei Wuxian begs Yanli to stay put and stay safe while he goes to find Jiang Cheng, and he promises to take Jiang Cheng back from the Wens. Yanli clutches his hands and asks him to promise again that he will rescue their brother, and that they will all go to Meishan together. But for once Wei Wuxian is completely honest, and disentangles his hands and sets off without another word.  
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More running ensues, this time in the rain. To quote Adam in Season 7 Episode 1 of Spooks, "all this traumatized running is starting to really annoy me." (Spooks is the shit. Don't watch it if you like characters to have a lifespan longer than a mayfly's)
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Camera Operator: Finally, a little appreciation
Wei Wuxian arrives in Lotus Pier, and can we just take a second to appreciate the decor of this place? Look at that tile floor with the cobblestone border, and the bamboo wall panel behind him.
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He grabs the first Wen he finds, who turns out to be a much-needed friend.
Rescue Me
The Untamed is the tale of a man’s devotion; devotion so strong it transcends clan allegiance and even death. And that man’s name is Wen Ning.
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Initially Wei Wuxian chokes him, like bros do, until he recognizes him and lets him go...
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...only to immediately grab him and demand to know if he had a part in the massacre. Wen Ning stays pretty calm, seeing the angry side of Wei Wuxian for the first time, and explains that he heard about what happened, and is there to help.
Wei Wuxian absorbs this and lets him go, giving us a closeup of their hands together, with Wen Ning not so much resisting Wei Wuxian's grip as giving a steadying grip of his own to his best friend.
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Wen Ning, who Wei Wuxian saved from one water demon, has already saved Wei Wuxian from one horrifying animatronic dog, and does not actually owe him a life debt at this point. Wen Ning has defied his sister and his entire clan and flown to Lotus Pier with a team of minions, with the specific intent of fucking things up for Wen Chao to the best of his abilities, simply because "Wei Wuxian is a nice person." 
Wei Wuxian isn't feeling like a nice person just now, however, thinking that he can use Wen Ning as a hostage to...what, trade for his brother? Wen Chao would probably be happy to kill Wen Ning himself, but his dad needs Wen Ning as a way to control Wen Qing, so maybe that plan would work.
Then Wei Wuxian sees this small pouch hanging from Wen Ning's belt, and it stops him in his tracks.
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For once we are not given a flashback to explain his thinking, so I’ll provide one
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The talisman he gave Wen Ning to protect him, now protects him from Wei Wuxian himself. He lets Wen Ning's arm go, and tries to think of another plan. 
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Wen Ning already has another plan, and has come to Lotus Pier prepared to enact it. 
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Wei Wuxian can't believe he's found someone to help him. In a moment of wrenching vulnerability, he asks Wen Ning to save Jiang Cheng and to retrieve the bodies of Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan. Wen Ning immediately agrees. 
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Wen Ning then embarks upon the least sneaky sabotage campaign of all time, chatting to the guards while messing with the wine, and generally acting like a person who is up to something. 
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Nobody respects him enough to worry about it, though, and the party proceeds as planned.
The banquet is set up in the cleaned-up courtyard of Lotus Pier The Yunmeng Supervisory Office, and features dancing girls performing in the center of the beautiful carved paving, and corpses hanging in the doorway. 
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I bet Jin Guangyao hires this same dance troupe for his future parties.
Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao sit at the main table, snuggling and being gross, but mercifully not necking on-camera because this is a 100% no-necking show. The drinks are sent around and Wen Chao tells Wen Zhuliu to drink up. 
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Wen Zhuliu is busy gazing wistfully at Yu Ziyuan's corpse.
Let's face it, Wen Zhuliu is the only dangerous person in this place at the moment, so what he does next is the make-or-break for Wen Ning’s plan. 
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Wen Zhuliu smells his wine and immediately can tell something is wrong. He takes a long moment to consider the situation, eyes on Yu Ziyuan, and then downs it, letting his emotions--perhaps something in the neighborhood of remorse, perhaps simple disgust at his craven supervisor--get the better of him.  
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In the morning he will be able to tell Wen Chao with 100% precision exactly what the drug is, probably from smelling it right here. This is the only miscalculation Wen Zhuliu makes in the whole show, and it eventually costs him his life.
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Wen Zhuliu has no reason to think this decision will hurt him. It's definitely impossible for Jiang Cheng, whipped and crushed, to avenge himself and his parents. But Jiang Cheng, with Wei Wuxian’s help, is going to achieve the impossible. 
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We end with Wei Wuxian hiding while he waits for Wen Ning, as strung out as we have seen him so far, although he's got worse mental states ahead of him on his journey.  He doesn't know yet if he was right to trust Wen Ning, and the episode ends with him, cold, wet, and miserable, waiting to find out. 
Next Episode: Still miserable, but with a cape! Soundtrack: 1. Patty Griffin, Rain  2. Grateful Dead, Box of Rain
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15-dogs · 3 years
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something like this |s.b.|
pairing: sirius black x reader
summary: sirius always seems to have something to say about your boyfriend, but maybe it’s because his words are powered by another emotion
warnings: light swearing
guide: (Y/N) = your name, italics = flashback
word count: 2229
a/n: hi hello I’m a HUGE new girl fan and I was rewatching some episodes the other night (specifically oregon s4e16) and then I had an urge to make a fic?? off of the episode?? so yeah that’s what I did lol I hope all of you like it!!
“Sorry,” Remus said as he placed a letter before you, “it’s not from him.”
You groaned and threw your head in your hands. You could feel everyone’s eyes on you― specifically Sirius― so you regained composure, meeting everyone’s sad eyes with a smile.
“It’s fine!” You shot a glare at Sirius who hid his smirk with a long sip from his mug. “Don’t start with me, Sirius.”
“I haven’t said a word, love.”
You rolled your eyes as you got up from the table. “He’s coming, I know he is.”
“I bet he’s just busy, (Y/N),” Peter assured you.
“Yeah, you’re right, Peter. He’s just busy.”
“Or maybe he just doesn’t make time for you,” Sirius interjected.
You rounded on the raven haired boy, finger pointed at his chest. “I thought I said not to start with me,” you sneered.
Sirius raised his hands in defense, standing up so he towered over you. “I’m just saying, Ben’s your boyfriend, he should be spending his summer with you here. Or at least he should write you. When did he say he was visiting us? Four days ago, was it?”
You scuffed your feet against the wooden paneling of the little home you shared with the three boys. You suddenly felt ashamed; you didn’t want to admit that Sirius had a point, but he most certainly did. Ben hadn’t bothered to contact you since you moved in. When you two went long distance, Ben had promised he’d at least stay for a bit to help you unpack but there you were, living in your new flat with Remus, Sirius, and Peter for a couple weeks now, nearly fully unpacked and ready to move on. But you weren’t ready to move on from Ben.
And then you were back under Sirius’s gaze, his eyes softening as your shoulders drooped. “Six days ago. He said he was coming six days ago.”
Sirius cursed himself for falling prey to your doe eyes. He grabbed you by the arms, ducking to meet your gaze. “Hey, look, I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“No, no, it’s fine.” You wiggled out of his grasp and waved him off as you stalked towards your room. “It’s...it’s really fine, Sirius.”
He ran his hand through his hair in distraught. “Shit, no-”
“It’s fine, Sirius, it’s fine.”
As you disappeared into your room and shut the door behind you, Remus clapped Sirius on the back. “So smooth, Pads. Really, I think she might have fallen in love with you already.”
Sirius shrugged out of Remus’s hand and stormed off towards his room, leaving Remus and Peter stifling snickers behind him.
Sirius flopped onto his bed, throwing his head back onto the pillow. He groaned at his actions, recalling what happened months prior, before you got together with Ben.
“Listen, I can’t just kiss you like this!” Sirius cried. A cocky grin tugged at your lips. Sirius’ eyes went wide and he shook his head fervently.
“What does that mean?”
“N-nothing.”
Sirius Black was nervous. And it was all because of you.
He started to stammer our poor excuses before promptly shutting himself up and darting off towards his dorm. You called after him, feeling terrible for making fun of him during the little drinking game. Something about the way he looked at you made you feel like he wasn’t joking when he said he didn’t want to kiss you like that, but still wanted to kiss you.
And Sirius wanted to. He wanted to since he met you but you were too blind to see it.
You paced around the kitchen, awaiting an owl from Ben. Remus almost felt sorry for you, watching you pause every few minutes because you thought you heard a hoot or a flap of wings.
But for the hundredth time that day, you paused at the sound of wings. And so did Remus.
You ran to the window to catch the owl, seeing that it was Ben’s tawny. You squealed with excitement as Sirius exited his room. He felt instantly filled with regret as he saw you petting the owl, bouncing up and down.
“Sirius, look! I told you he’d write, I told you!”
Sirius ran a hand through his hair and feigned happiness. “Well, you proved me wrong, (Y/N).”
“What does it say?” Remus interjected.
You ripped open the letter, your eyes scanning over the sweet words that your boyfriend wrote you. You read it once, twice, three times, your face falling with each individual read. Sirius furrowed his brow and placed a hand on your shoulder. You gasped at his touch and looked up at him, tears in your eyes.
You let out a watery chuckle and forced a smile on your face. “Ben’s not coming,” you explained. “Too busy. He says that we’re probably already unpacked so it wouldn’t make sense for him to buy a Portkey and travel from America and whatnot, so…”
“What?” Sirius looked appalled. “You’re joking.”
“I guess you could say I can’t be Sirius.” Even Sirius couldn’t laugh at your joke. You shifted your weight and looked at the floor. “Go on, Sirius, tell me how shitty of a person Ben is. I know that you’re dying to.”
Sirius sighed, looking over your shoulder to meet Remus’ knowing eyes. Remus shrugged as if to tell Sirius that whatever he would say he had to mean because you could see right through him.
“Listen, you’re probably right. He’s just busy.”
You nodded, feeling the tears start to stream down your cheeks. “I’m gonna go to my room.”
“Wait, (Y/N)!”
You dropped the letter at Sirius’s feet as you ran towards your room and shut the door behind you, collapsing on your bed in a ball of sorrows.
Sirius picked up the letter and read it once over, scoffing at his poor excuse of an apology. Remus stared at his friend amusedly, sipping coffee from a mug. Sirius slammed the paper on their table, rolling his eyes.
“I can’t believe he would do that!” Sirius hissed.
“You can’t? Because I most certainly can.”
“She deserves someone who actually cares about her, someone who wants to be with her, someone-”
“Like you, Sirius? She deserves someone like you?”
Sirius froze. Remus raised his brows awaiting Sirius’s response, but nothing came. That was as much an answer as any.
You had been crying in your room for the past couple days. Remus would occasionally bring you chocolates, Peter crafted little toys like fortune tellers, and Sirius? Sirius hadn’t shown up so much.
He would check in on you, sure, but he never brought you anything like the other guys. You weren’t necessarily upset about it, but you were confused as to why he seemed to be more distant than the other guys. Not avoiding you, just distant.
Maybe he wasn’t good at comforting people. But you knew that wasn’t true, Sirius had always been with you, always been there for you. What would have caused this change in behavior?
As if he could sense your thinking, there was a hesitant knock at your door.
“Come in,” you called out as you brushed used tissues onto your end table. Sirius entered, waving at you awkwardly.
“Can I sit here?” He pointed towards the blank spot on your bedsheets.
“I cleaned it off just for you.”
“How thoughtful.”
You tugged the blankets up to your chest as Sirius laid beside you. You continued to stare at the ceiling, feeling Sirius’s stare on you. You sighed; nothing good was about to come out of that boy’s mouth.
“Say what you’re gonna say, Sirius,” you whispered. “I know you didn’t come here to just check on me. Just spit it out-”
“Okay! Fine! I will!” You were taken aback by his abrupt change in demeanor. “You need a guy who shows up, love, and Ben is not doing that!”
You sat up and rolled your eyes. “Say what you really feel,” you shot under your breath.
“When are you going to see that you’re stuck dating a wall, (Y/N)? You have to know that you’re too good for him!”
“Oh, but I’m not too good for you? In fact, I must be just perfect for you!”
You weren’t exactly sure where those words came from, they just came. Maybe it was that drunken night he was dared to kiss you and you hadn’t stopped thinking about it. Maybe it was the way he acted more like a boyfriend than your own boyfriend had. Or maybe it was the way he gave you butterflies when he smiled. Maybe it was the way electricity shot up your spine he rested his hand on the small of your back. Maybe it was the way that you wished you never dated Ben in the first place, but rather dated Sirius but you were too damn stubborn to admit it, even to yourself.
“What are you on about?”
You rolled out of the bed and opened the door, hearing Remus and Peter scatter back to their rooms. “Leave.”
“But, I-”
“Please.” 
You choked back a sob and Sirius then knew that he went too far. He got off of your bed and stumbled towards the door, pausing to look at you.
“I’m sorry-”
“I can’t help that I’m a hopeless romantic, Sirius. I want things to work out, and they will.”
“You’re wasting it on the wrong guy.”
You sucked in a sharp breath, mumbling an excuse as you shut the door in his face.
But, Merlin, was he right.
A week later, Sirius sat out by the pond that stood about 100 feet from your flat. He tossed a pebble in between his hands, debating what he could do to make it up to you.
Little did he know you were on your way to join him.
“Hey, Sirius.”
His eyes snapped up to yours and he began to grab his things to leave. “I was just heading out, actually-”
“We really need to talk.”
His heart sank into his stomach as his steps slowed to a stop. You picked up a rock and skipped it across the pond. 
“I broke up with Ben, actually. You were right.”
Sirius tried to fight the feeling of excitement that rose up in his chest. “How did he take it?”
You nodded thoughtfully. “Really well, actually.”
“He didn’t respond yet?”
“No, he hasn’t responded.”
You let out a wry laugh and Sirius joined in, feeling some of the tension flood from his body. You picked up another rock and skipped it across the pond.
“Is it bad that I’m relieved?” you said, interrupting the silence. Sirius’ eyes went wide. You met his stare and he quickly attempted to save face by clearing his throat and picking up another pebble.
“I don’t think so. I think that you did the right thing.”
“I had a feeling you’d say that.”
That sense of dread crept back into the forefront of Sirius’s mind as you picked up yet another rock. 
“You know,” you began as you moved closer to Sirius, “my friends back home would always play this game; there was a little pond by our houses that we’d go to on weekends. We’d talk about whatever, but it was usually boys. So we developed a little tradition: you think of your crush’s name and you toss a rock across the pond. Depending on how many times it skips, your fortune with your crush would be told.”
Sirius eyed you skeptically. “Has it ever worked?”
“Merlin, no,” you chuckled. “But I’d still like to do it.”
He nodded dutifully as the both of you retrieved your rocks. You glanced up at Sirius, thinking of his name as you skipped it across the pond. It skipped two times before sinking, causing you to frown.
“What’s that mean?” Sirius asked.
“It means it’s not up to me anymore.”
Sirius snorted. “And you made these rules when you were a kid? That’s quite depressing.”
“Oh, shut up. Just skip yours.”
Sirius did as he was told, skipping the rock across the pond three times. You gasped before turning to him with a gentle smile.
“Three times? What’s that?”
“It means they fancy you back.”
He was thinking of you, who else would he be thinking of? But he couldn’t tell you that just because of some silly game you made up when you were a kid. There was no way you felt the same― you just got out a relationship!
Sirius smiled back at you, nodding with faint confidence. You nodded back and made your way to leave but Sirius wouldn’t let you.
The moment he had admitted that he wanted to kiss you back in school stirred in his mind like nothing else he knew. He thought about you constantly but he had to hide it. That was, until, that very moment. He couldn’t keep waiting.
“Listen, I can’t just kiss you like this!”
He grabbed you by the wrist and tugged you towards him, connecting your lips. You didn’t even hesitate to clasp your hands behind his neck, his own trailing over your body like a dying man to the prospect of life.
As you pulled away, both of you were panting messes. He rested his forehead against yours, placing a peck against your lips again.
“I meant something like that.”
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mellie1409 · 3 years
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Moving in with the boys
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As the playlist and name of the album had been decided, there was only one thing left to do: start practicing all the dances and performances before recording them.
As having two managers and having separated training schedules would be too complicated it had been decided that you would join the boys manager while the agency looked for a new manager for you solo debut the year after.
Sejin was very sweet and understanding with you as you were the only girl and his first decision was having you move in with the boys as you, after all, were a member of BTS.
This was all communicated to you the last day of training as a trainee. The others trainee only new you would debut, but you weren't allowed to tell them in which group or anything about the debut concept. After 10 hours of training they all gave you a hug and you left to look for Sejin's van. There were no party's thrown or any beautiful words said. But you were okay with it, you knew yourself it wasn't easy to see others debut as you stayed behind for who knew how long. You weren't gonna cry, you told to yourself. But as you walked out of the building in to the van, you eyes got watery. They had been your siblings and moral support for so long. You could only wish them the best.
As you walked in to Sejin's van you put your pet on. Now that you were going to debut as a member of the biggest group in Korea, you had to keep your identity a secret. You weren't allowed to be seen with Sejin until you debuted. For this reason, you seated on one of the back seats were the windows were dark coloured.
As you took a deep breath and shook your tears away, Sejin spoke up: 'We will go get your things at the GFriend dorm and then we will go to your new home: BTS dorm'
You were utterly surprised. 'He wants me to live with BTS? But, but... '
'Yes that's right' he answered. It's then that you realized you were thinking out loud. 'I alredy told the boys about it and they are very excited. They have prepared a room for you. ' he continued.
'But what will people think?' that was actually the only thing you were worried about. It's true that you had only met them a few times, but you could already feel a connection with them and knew living with them wouldn't be a problem at all. But you were worried about the consequences it might have for the boys. If people started shipping you with one of the boys... No, that couldn't happen. You had been told when you signed your trainee contract that you weren't allowed to date anyone in the company and that dating scandals would mean a reduction of your pay. No, you would do your best to not let anything happen.
'It's a new situation for everyone' You snapped back to reality. 'I've talked with Namjoon and he has made the boys very aware of the situation. You don't need to worry about them, they will take care of you as if you were their little sister. And about scandals, as long as you don't give opportunities for it to happen, the company will handle them with no problems. ' Sejin said.
By now you were already close to your old dorms. What Sejin had told you, had defenetly eased your nerves but you were still a bit worried. A voice in your head saying that ARMY wouldn't like you living with them.
As you stepped out of the car, a soft brizzle hit your face, somewhat grounding you from those dark thoughts. 'No, this is my time to shine. I'm not going to let anyone take me down'  you thought to yourself.
You stepped into the dorm and the complete silence overwhelmed you. GFriend were still at the company building practicing so you were all alone. It was strange to see the normally so full of cheer and life house so silent and empty now. You were somewhat sad that you didn't have the opportunity to say goodbye to the girls that had adopted you and treated you like one more member. Even though you were excited and happy to debut with BTS, you sometimes thought you would have preferred to debut with GFriend. You were gonna miss them, but at the same time you thought of your bright future. It was a sweet-sour victory for you.
You thought about this as you packed the little clothes you had there. You had left your homecountry with only a few clothes and even though you weren't short in money, the trainee pay wasn't exactly what you would call extensive.
When you were done you took a last look at the dorm that you had so many memories in. The kitchen were you would cook, the living room normally filled with laughter and the room you shared with the other maknaes. You were gonna miss it, but you had a big adventure ahead of you. So you took a deep breath and closed that creaky door one last time before heading back to the car.
Sejin helped you load you luggage onto the back and then you stepped back into the van. It was alredy getting dark and you were tired after such an intense day. As you were driving around Seoul on your way to BTS' dorm, you started to doze off, head filled with wonderful dreams that seemed closer everytime and face full with a sweet smile.
'Y/N, we have arrived. '
You wake up to Sejin opening your door and helping you step out of the van and taking your backpack. As you look around you, you realize it has stopped raining and it's completely dark. You can't see very well around you, but as you inquire in the darkness you start to see the outlining of what you can only call a cute modern apartment building.
You follow Sejin into that building and step into an elevator. As the door open, you heart starts beating faster and faster. You don't know why, but you are nervous. It's true that you had already met them a few times, but this was different, you were about to live with them. See them in their most vulnerable but at the same time most comfy state. You weren't sure if you were prepared to show them as well that side of you.
Right then, you got to the door. Sejin was about to knock on it, when he got a phone call. He quickly answered it and started to leave, turning around to sign you a knocking motion before finally leaving with the elevator ding
You turned around shocked and hesitantly raised your hand to knock. Before you could even give a second knock, the door flew open, two goofy and fun faces apearing through the opening to greet you, together with the smell of meat being grilled.
'Y/N!!! You're finally here!! ' Taehyung says while Jungkook jumps on his back, unable to contain his excitement. But before you can even answer Jimin appears out of nowhere and takes your luggage.
'C'mon Y/N! I'll show you your room! ' he says while starting to run through a corridor to the right.
'No! I want to! ' says Jungkook while jumping off Taehyung's back and chasing Jimin.
You stare at them startled but happy to see they are as cute in real life as in the Run episodes you had once watched and rewatched. Taehyung looks at you with his boxy smile and takes you by the wrist guiding you into the corridor Jungkook and Jimin had once disappeared.
You pass through some closed doors as well as some open ones. You get to peek into one of the rooms and you see a recording studio-like room with white walls and tons of music related stuff. Before you can ask yourself who works there you have already arived where the other two maknaes are.
A beautiful little room at the end of the corridor. It has broken-white walls and a huge window with open curtains. As you look around you start to discover furniture. A double bed in the middle of the right wall, a white wardrobe in the middle of the left wall, a desk in front of the window and a bed side table between the bed and the wall. You can see that a lot of effort has been put in this simple but cozy room, with even a rugmat on the floor in front of the bed.
'Wow, this is just... ' you say as you tear up. You were worried you would feel like a stranger, but this actually felt like home. Them being some welcoming made you emotional and you couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
'Don't you... Don't you like it?' Jungkook asks timidly. You look at the looks on their faces and realize how worried they are.
'No, oh god, I love it. It's just perfect. ' you answer quickly. They give each other relieved glances and as you wipe away the tears that keep falling, Namjoon and J-Hope walk in.
'Boys, what did I tell you? She has just arrived and you have already made her cry? You are unbelievable.' the leader speaks.
The three maknaes at once start running out of the room with cheeky laughters while J-Hope throws a slipper at them in a try to "teach them a lesson".
This whole action makes you laugh and forget about all your worries. This is perfect, this is your new home and those are your new roommates. 'This is gonna be fun' you think to yourself.
After having retrieved his slipper, J-Hope takes a look at you and starts explaining. 'This was our old game room were we would play computer games and just chill on our free days. We did our best to clean it and prepare it for you. We hope you like it. ' he says while smiling.
'We hope you will feel comfortable and at home and please feel free to tell us if any-' Grrrrrr
'Oh no, this can't be happening, did you really just interrupt Namjoon with a rumbling stomach?' you think.
'Woah, someone's hungry! ' J-Hope says with a big smile on his face. 'Jin and Suga are nearly done cooking. '
'Why don't you take a shower and come join us for dinner after? ' Namjoon suggests.
'That would be great, thank you' you agree with a smile.
"Great! Let me show you your private bathroom then" he says while leading the way.
.
.
.
.
.
The shower was great, you felt refreshed and confortable in the clean clothes that you put on.  And you used the shower time to think and absorb everything that had happened in the last few hours.
As you walked out of you room you guided youself to the living room through the smell of food. You walked into a huge room that combined a kitchen with the dining and living room all in one. As you looked around, you saw everyone was there. Suga finishing the cooking while Jin scolded Namjoon for trying to cut the strawberries for dessert with a butter knife. J-Hope was walking around with a spoon full of food trying to get Jungkook to try out (an experiment he had done) and Jimin and Taehyung were setting the table in a competition to try to make it as beautiful as possible.
Looking at this scene made your heart jump in happiness, you were lucky enough to be able to share one year of your life with this amazing human beings and you were going to make the most out of it, after all, you were the 8th member of BTS. And with those happy thoughts you walked in to join the jolly chaos that was BTS' living room.
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pirate-tink · 2 years
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My thoughts about 'Home and Away'. First thought: ouch.
(I do touch on depression a tiny bit in this, with regards to Maddie's storyline, and my own personal experience a little, so I'll be putting a cut in case anyone needs to avoid that.)
Poor Chimney. This is hitting him so hard. He really loves Maddie. I like how comforting and supportive Buck is here though. Very mature of him. I'm glad he told Chimney that the video isn't the only thing Maddie left him. (It's exactly what I was thinking, and I love that they had Buck say it!)
The 911 scene with Claudette was intense. Not really how those things work, but hand-wavy TV land and all that. I don't like her attitude though... she is rude and condescending and kind of a jerk.
Oh no. We already knew this storyline with the cheerleaders was gonna be tragic, but they're really setting up to pull on our heartstrings.
Well, we figured they were gonna mix up the girls, so one of us called it on her calling out the other girl's name. (No idea who, I'm on this trash site too much.)
Albert! I missed him. Give us more!
(Depression talk below.)
Gah, I'm torn between wanting to believe the best for Maddie - like Buck and Albert and I'm sure others - and knowing that, in her right headspace, she could just take a break and step away to catch her breath and then come back, but also knowing that she's not in her right headspace right now. I've never had PPD, but I have struggled with depression, and in my personal experience with it I struggled a lot with the head stuff - knowing what I should be doing - and the heart stuff - being bogged down in my emotions and not doing anything because of it. And so I want to believe the best for Maddie, that she deserves a break but will come back on her own when she's ready, but I can't help but worry that she's not in the right headspace to get there on her own right now, and that Chimney is a little right in being so worried for her.
Oh good, just what we needed, another emergency at the emergency.
Poor Harry. The kid is struggling. Why'd the writers have to do this to him?
Also, the blue threads pulled through on the shoulders of Michael's sweater are bothering me. I hate them.
Oh wow, that scene with Chimney at the ER was intense. It felt so real though! My heart hurts! Emmy for Kenneth when?!
I really feel for May with this whole Claudette thing. I've been the new kid that gets rubbed the wrong way when some Big Deal returns, and then felt like it must be me since everyone else loves them.
Aaand there's the mix up. After another crazy intense scene. They're not pulling any punches this season... Yeah, all of that really hurt. I... don't know what else to say about it.
Well there's Buck's black eye. Can't say he didn't deserve it at least a little. I guess that's why he's been so cool about Maddie leaving though...
I love Bobby and Athena. I guess I'm glad that she's having emotions about what happened? In that, I'm glad she's not a brick wall emotionally, but it's still sad that she's suffering. I love Bobby though, he's always so supportive. (I just rewatched Athena Begins two days ago, and seeing her collapse crying into his arms again so soon is giving me all the emotions.)
Oh, yes! I love Eddie coming over to tend to Buck and talk some sense into him. Just because Maddie's always been fine doesn't mean she'll always be fine.
Aww! Grant siblings! Sometimes you just need your sibling to talk things out with instead of your parents. I love that scene with them.
Yes! Chimney is going after Maddie! I didn't know I needed him to do that until just now, but I'm so glad he is! The scene with him and Hen was so touching. I missed their friendship.
Final thought: still ouch.
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mrsgreenworld · 3 years
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Sen Çal Kapımı Episode 15 aka Soulmates
I know it's never taken me this long to gather my thoughts on a new SCK episode. But as I mentioned in my previous post Mike Flanagan's shows happened to me 😭😩😱
However, I also think it's because I had some mixed feelings regarding the episode. I guess while I was trying to watch it live (trying being the operative word here) the problems with the live stream influenced my overall first impression. I wasn't able to watch a good chunk of the episode and, of course, it got me annoyed and that, I guess, mixed up with my feelings about the episode. But after having rewatched it with subtitles I have a full and clear picture.
All in all it was a nice episode, very light compared to a much heavier angst of earlier episodes. I liked that light-hearted moments and humour were back. It was also a shorter episode which served it well. However, it felt a lot like a filler episode which, in my opinion, did nothing to move the story forward.
The things I loved / liked:
☑️ Eda: she was a true star ⭐ (ahah, pun intended) and the main highlight of the episode for me;
as a woman I was so proud to see her handle this situation with such strength, dignity and self-respect;
unfortunately, despite the old gender stereotypes slowly dying out, despite the fact that women are becoming more and more independent and aware of their value, we are still often portrayed as a weaker sex; I am not talking about physical strength, of course;
we are the ones left, we are the ones who suffer, we are made to love men with everything we have, we build our whole lives around them, we let our world revolve around them... so, when they leave or we lose them for any other reason - it's the end, everything falls apart, we fall apart; I am so sick of still seeing it on screen; that's why I freaking LOVED seeing Eda not fall apart, or at least she didn't fall apart for long;
I loved that she allowed herself to grieve, to cry, to be angry and to express this anger straight to Serkan's face; I think we saw Eda go through her own 5 stages of grief; but she didn't let depression take away more than one night of her life;
I love that Eda found out that Ayfer had contacted the grandma and, while her reaction might have been a bit too emotional (which is actually normal and understandable given she's still hurting after having had her heart broken and stamped on), I really enjoyed Eda protecting her personal boundaries and basically saying to stay the *uck out of her life - you go, girl!👏💪😎
I enjoyed the way Eda handled herself at the office and how she behaved around Serkan; she wasn't stealing lovesick glances at him or just brooding, she wasn't overly hostile, she wasn't running away;
oh, and when Seyfi brought that box, how she handled that - a standing ovation👏👏👏, everyone bow down to my Queen! 👑👸
speaking of that box where Serkan asked Seyfi to gather all of Eda's things, how he ordered to put away all her gifts - as Eda put it "he's trying to get rid of any trace of me"; in a way she's right; Serkan is trying to get rid of everything that could remind him of her and their shared moments but we know it's not because he doesn't love her (like Eda thinks), it's because he does and it's too much for him; and it's such a contrast to Eda who actually said to the girls that she wouldn't throw away or burn or whatever any of Serkan's gifts or other things that remind her of him and them, she openly said that she's not the one to run away from the memories; and it was so powerful - seeing the writers make a woman so undeniably stronger than a man👌👏
I also liked Eda around Efe, there wasn't anything romantic, I think it was completely professional and it didn't feel or look (at least to me) like Eda was trying to use Efe for petty reasons like make Serkan jealous (but of course our boy was jelly nonetheless 👽😁)
the little moment with Aydan: it was nice to see Aydan trying to comfort Eda (I guess she earned a few points for that) and I really liked the message she was trying to deliver - you can find love and happiness again;
I loved seeing Eda take that in, accept the message, agree that she will be ok one day; and I also liked seeing her not accept Aydan's support which felt a little bit like pity; Eda didn't want to be pitied and she said what she thought to Aydan's face; was it a little harsh? maybe, yes; but I understand where it came from and, given how insensitive, hostile, rude Aydan had been towards Eda in the past, Eda not really buying this whole support thing is pretty understandable;
☑️ Edser: whatever state these two are in - deliriously in love, flirty, pissed off, annoyed, lovesick, heartbroken - if they're together on screen it's always glorious;
do I like seeing them angsty and heartbroken? of course NOT! but the longing between them is SO GOOD!😍🤩
I loved that they introduced this soulmate theme; it wasn't there front and center but rather woven subtly through the episode: first, of course, pretty openly stated at the very beginning of the episode, in the parallel conversations Eda / the girls and Serkan / Engin; then symmetrically at the very end of the episode - the papers with the names of the drivers for the race, then Serkan being the one to notice Eda's absence, him just feeling her and being led by his heart until he found her - not bad for an emotionless robot, huh?😏😉
THE RINGS!😍😍 glad that they brought Eda's💍ring back into the picture; she demonstratively put it on the middle finger of her right hand; obviously she did it on purpose, she even explained the reason behind this decision - from now on it will serve as a reminder what kind of person Serkan Bolat is; but of course I think there's something deeper at play here; Eda could have easily put the ring on her left hand but she went with her right hand instead, with the middle finger which is so close to where it used to be, where an engagement ring should be - on her ring finger; so I think it's also a way for Eda to be closer to Serkan, it's almost like a phantom of what they used to have as well as of all the things they won't have... I am also 99% sure I am overthinking here and the intentions of writers were much simpler 🙈😆
anyway, I loved that Eda and Serkan both noticed and pointed out aloud that the other was wearing their ring; also Serkan's reasoning "to keep other women away" - why don't you tattoo "I am the property of Eda Yıldız" on your forehead, mister?👀🙈😆 could he be any more obvious?
the coffee scene was priceless 🤣🤣🤣 Serkan was so damn confident that Eda poured that cup for him and then him mumbling "for Efe" under his breath... like an offended child 🙈😆
them fighting looked a lot like flirting and the electricity⚡generated during their arguments could easily power their whole office building - I am sure;
the car ride to the presentation and that presentation itself - while I didn't entirely enjoy it and how controlling Serkan was I cannot help but admire the way his mind works; I also think he was doing it for Eda, it was his way of supporting and looking out for her without being too obvious; this way they also get to work together and even if it's just for work he will be closer to her;
Serkan showing up at that sport motivation thing like a boss 😎 and shamelessly checking Eda out 😏 I mean, was he aware there were other people around? and how is it possible that Eda was still buying the emotionless robot crap? the emotions the guy was looking at her with were enough to melt the glaciers 🔥🥵
and finally - that moment at the sea when Eda told Serkan that he wouldn't have apologized if he hadn't feared for his life; his immediate response was that it wasn't about that, "what if something had happened to you?"; when Eda answered with "Does it matter?" I swear I thought Serkan was gonna take her by the shoulders and shake her;
that jaw tick? man, he was pissed 😤
at Eda - for saying something like that, for being so careless with her life;
at himself - for allowing her to think that it wouldn't absolutely destroy him if something were to happen to her;
but the moment Eda left all anger left him and Serkan just looked... defeated;
☑️ Eda and Efe: might be an unpopular opinion but I actually liked their dynamic in episode 15; as I have already mentioned I didn't see or feel anything romantic and while I still don't trust Efe (him being from Mardin - a coincidence? nope, don't think so🧐) I liked how supportive he was with Eda; I think she needed that push to get back to work; okay, there is very likely some ulterior motive here but at least in this episode he seemed pretty genuine and it didn't look like he was using Eda; he wasn't provoking Serkan that much either;
☑️ Selin and Serkan: a short scene with the two of them in Serkan's office and Selin's reaction to Serkan and Eda's breakup; maybe to someone it may seem too strong but I actually liked Selin calling Serkan out on it like that; honestly I half expected her to find excuses for his behaviour;
☑️ Engin: keeps being a loyal friend who doesn't just offer silent support; I like how he always tries to reason with Serkan, doesn't shy away from telling him unpleasant truth;
glad he was there for Serkan at the very beginning of the episode;
loved how he checked on Serkan at the office and then tried to convince our RoBo that it's ok to not be ok and maybe take a vacation;
then the exchange:
Engin: "So, out of sight, out of mind?"
Serkan: "Exactly"
Engin (spotting Eda coming into the office with Efe): "Interesting how that's gonna work out for you" - interesting indeed 🙈😆;
Things I didn't like / was annoyed with:
❎ Serkan: yes, my baby boy made it into this category - there's first time for everything 🙈😆
just to be clear - he is still my cupcake and I love him dearly but here's the thing: we don't always like those we love;
I think in episode 15 Serkan was controlling and childish; and I completely understand where these tendencies come from but it doesn't mean I am gonna turn a blind eye on this or try to justify his behaviour;
that "Efe left but Serkan is here" scene was intented to be funny and endearing I guess but it was highly manipulative; and when during the car ride Serkan commented on Eda behaving like a teenager I was like "excuse me?! have you met yourself, mister?!" because that manipulation to make Eda go with him was worthy of a 12-year-old 🤨;
❎ Selin: when is she not annoying?🤔 while I liked that she didn't take Serkan's side and called him out on his change of heart, unfortunately, she still managed to make it about herself; it never fails to amaze me how selfish and self-centred this character is;
❎ Alptekin: what a poor excuse of a father and a man he is... almost feel sorry for him;
don't apologize on behalf of your son - he's a grown ass man who is capable of speaking for himself;
apologize for yourself, your mistakes and if you're not ready - then don't go to Ayfer just to make yourself feel better 😤😡;
❎ that almost copy-paste from Erkenci Kuş at the end:
getting lost and falling down into a pit in the forest? been there, done that in EK episode 19;
okay, we had beautiful sea views and they placed it at the end to add more suspense but all in all it was awfully similar and also kinda came out of nowhere;
after that emotional scene between Eda and Serkan we were whooshed into "Eda is not here, let's go find her"; I have no problem with the absence of the moment where she actually fell into that pit - wasn't that necessary - but a scene that could have served as a building block to this would have been good - show Eda going for that walk.
And... that's pretty much it.
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Gonna get down to episode 16 now
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i-am-just-a-kiddo · 3 years
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2020 content creator review
i was tagged by @vishcount as usual, thank you  💕  i answered the questions below the cut, and everyone that is tagged is there too, if you just wanna skip my ramblings and go straight down there.  (also gosh i hope all the links work rip)
1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020: 
this lan wangji oneshot, apparently. i can’t remember when i actually wrote it, but my ao3 tells me i posted it in january 2020. i remember i just wanted to explore lwj’s time of mourning and dive into his mind of that time, even if it made me eternally sad?
my most recent 2020 creation that is public, is the second chapter to this casmund/edmund character study fic i started writing in 2016. i did not expect to return to that but rewatching the narnia movies did that to me. i guess it’s one of those ever-returning fandoms
2. one of your favorite creations from 2020: 
my niemo (nie huaisang/mo xuanyu) fic, no question. diving into this, i fully knew that this pairing probably has a tiny audience and honestly, i did not expect to churn out 30k for them. god. am still suffering because why the fuck did i do that to myself (and everyone reading). thank you vishie for standing by me all the time.
3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it: 
my historical taegi AU set in silla korea - i don’t think it’s actually a new style writing-wise, but it was an entirely different process of creating. i did a week of only research, diving into amounts of academic texts and sources to figure out my frame and setting. it was so much fun and in the end, with everything i learned, it felt like the fic was only just the ‘by-product’ of my research. though i must say, writing the story itself was challenging in a very different way, by that i mean that the characters made me furious and yet i had to write it like that cause i like to suffer :) 
as for gifset, am not sure? i can’t think of any so i am just linking the daechwita mv cause it’s iconic. i guess this mv is more joseon inspired, while my setting was silla somewhere between the end of 7th and beginning of 8th century; but it was the final straw to finally make me write that historical taegi au i always wanted to write with hwarang tae. also this mv inspired me to have yoongi as a tyrannical king cause why not amirite?
4. a creation to be proud of: 
my wei wuxian oneshot during burial mounds; i had a lot of fun writing him and projecting all my nightmares onto him. i went in without a plan and ended up with something i am actually quite proud of? it gave me so much space and room to just...pour out my words and not worry too much about anything else. 
5. a creation that took forever: 
my post-canon wangxian adventure or qinghe chaos, as i lovingly call it. i think i started writing it in november 2019? not entirely sure about that, i only know it took ages. i wanted to create a whole new political environment, as it takes place somewhere around 70 years after canon (they wanna be immortal, shut up) and it was fun thinking of new challenges and new obstacles that face the new generation of cultivators. unfortunately i did not have the capacity to write a full blown political conflict. that’s why i never really incorporated all my thoughts into the story itself, but hey, if anyone has questions i have notes (and vishie, once again, is the most blessed person to plot with me, ily)
6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: 
am gonna measure this by kudos on ao3 in that case, which would be the aforementioned lwj oneshot Cold Moon, Long Nights Moon. I feel incredibly fond of it and i’m really happy that people liked it. it feels special somehow and i just want to thank everyone who read that and liked it.
7. a creation you think deserved more notes: 
oh i wrote many fics that year for smaller fandoms, which makes me grateful for every single feedback i received. i think i had hoped my previously mentioned historical AU would receive more, but it’s okay because i still loved it. 
another one is this princess sook myung/ah roh fic that i wrote for my ‘make hwarang gay again’ series. i finally finished this show and it furstrated me so much - the gay potential that went to waste, the horrendous writing for female characters. i liked the chemistry between ah roh and the princess, and yes i get it, it’s a rare pair and this fandom is kinda dead, but. the girls deserve their shine and love (though still, i am grateful for every single kudos i receive and i am still proud of it)
8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: 
i joined many new fandoms this year for which i wrote, but i want to mention my shang xirui character study for winter begonia, because it was very interesting to explore that? and i had fun too, it was one of the first things i properly wrote after my hiatus, so i felt quite proud. also once again, this fandom has way too little content and the show is underrated. 
9. a creation you made that breaks your heart: 
i wanna mention two here. first is this wen ning & song lan oneshot that was a pure joy and also very sad to write. i just love these two so much, and i love them together even more. i have many thoughts how much comfort they could give each other and believe me, i have many more that i want to explore in the future. 
the second one is the mu nihuang & xiao jingyan oneshot i wrote for the nirvana in fire gift exchange 2020. it broke my heart, but at the same time it felt like something was healing too? it hurt at the pain both characters go through, but i also felt fond that maybe, they were not alone.
10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: 
hmm there are a few, i mostly want to mention my fei liu character study? it has no plot or anything, it is just an exploration of his mind and thoughts, which was an absolute joy to write and somehow so easy. 
i also quite like the yyy series i started - maybe i can write more for these two because they somehow give me the feels.
11. a favorite creation created by someone else: 
alright here we go folks:
first i want to mention my dearest @vishcount because newsflash!!! i am the biggest fan. of course i need to mention your wondeful, stunning, breathtaking masterpiece that is your xicheng novel (and yes it is a novel, i say so). it is still ongoing and you started it in 2019, but i need to mention it here because it truly is something that is lifechanging. i feel so blessed that i get the front seats and vip access to all the updates, to all your thoughts and ideas. you go through a lot with it and i am never not proud of you ❤️ another one i want to mention is this wei wuxian & mo xuanyu oneshot you wrote for me because i am still crying about it. i have no words.  honourable mentions: your easter islanders (lan wangji and jiang cheng) and this xicheng soulmate au 
another creator i want to mention is @the-cloud-whisperer and their nirvana in fire fic Heroic Woman(烈婦) , which is absolutely wonderful.  i found you through your ATLA fics (which i adore) and saw you posting about nirvana in fire and this year, finally, i watched the show and was blown away. i love your other NIF fics too, but this one feels very special because i always thought li yang’s character was so incredibly fascinating. thank you for writing this 💕
for more other creations just look at my bookmarks on ao3, there is the untamed, nirvana in fire, yyy the series, hwarang, winter begonia and original sin (from 2020 and many more if you scroll further) please give everyone i mentioned love!!!!!
12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate: 
oh boy here we go. once again @vishcount, @the-cloud-whisperer, @intyalote, @sassyassassy, @isabellaofparma, @passionpeachy, @finny-red, @guzhuangheaven  @honeyiling, @holmesandwhatson  @bloody-bee-tea, @leoyunxi, @gusucloud, @ohsehuns and many many more that must slip my mind.
all of you, consider yourself tagged in this game and even if we never spoke to each other, i greatly appreciate all of you and i want to give some love. if you feel like doing this, i hope you can have fun!  💕
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ancatss · 3 years
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ososan s3 thoughts bc why not
osomatsu san is a huge comfort series for me so im gonna ramble abt it <33 bc like the title says why not
ok thoughts on chars and things; osomatsu- just kind of basic so far which is funny 2 say when talking abt oso but still djkf idk how to describe it well; i love whatever he has going on with the ais. it really shows alot abt both characters it’s so cool; i hope he gets some nice moments this season after the movie i kind of became an oso fucker
karamatsu- i love him more and more every day, i’m hoping he’ll get some development this season bc im seriously in love w him. we keep getting these snippets of angst for him that hint to greater emotions and although they’re always kind of sugarcoated with this comedic overtone (like a lot of angst in osmt- i feel it’s with kara especially because even characters like totty have gotten serious development and with him it’s always always played off as comic relief, the thing he keeps hinting at wanting to avoid- it was explored a little bit in the movie and i think the movie is canon because things from it were brought up in the szn) i’d like just a bit more
choromatsu- pretty basic so far- the thing w ichi when the ais/riceballs were first introduced is really really interesting. it might have just been nothing but im looking too much into it bc i can- as i talked abt w oso and as im gonna talk abt again, the ais kind of losing each matsu one by one is really compelling to me, and i get the feeling choro is gonna be the next one to go. maybe kara will make some sort of comment like ‘hmph its just u and be bruzzahs’ (*wow i should rp kara /j /hj*) and how did a choromatsu discussion turn into a karamatsu gush sjfklf
ichimatsu- i love his little side plot/development with the origami hehe thats a cute hobby for him; the whole radio show thing going on hes just weird this season jsdkf- but hes also already angsty w the whole things about the riceballs; like i talked abt with choro i really want to see how he reacted to them/why he reacted the way he did expanded upon more. the last episode where he interacted w the riceballs a lot was so good; the choro thing kind of reminds me what i love about this season so far, it has a lot of the brothers just being brothers yk
jyushimatsu- not much from him yet except for also kind of falling off the side of the riceballs- hes been really really cute this season though like when the ais were playing shogi <33 hes just so sweet i wish all jyushi kins and likers a very good evening
todomatsu- GOD THE EPISODE WHERE HE LIKED THE GIRL FROM THE STORE MADE ME CRY i am not joking. well more like tear up but still- it also might have made me cry bc i love kara so much and i was jealous but were gonna ignore that, i LOVE totty being in luv! even if its with a girl who only talked to him out of courtesy lmao im pretty certain theyre not going to do anything w her again but that whole arc was just so ‘classic totty’
totoko/nyaa- THEY ARE LESBIANS!! I’m so so happy we’re getting more development for nyaa bc i love her a lot and im happy we’re getting to see how totoko acts outside of hanging w the matsus/being w her family on her own; the wrestling thing is funny jdkg but i loved the episode where they came up w the idea so much (poor choro) nyaa with a ponytail is something i never knew i needed
the AIs/Riceballs- i still don’t trust them; they had like ONE cute moment but fr they freak me out, they had one moment in an episode that actually creeped me out like it was some dystopian horror anime (/srs) the ignoring oso thing is interesting doe- I was a little skeptical of them adding new main characters when we already have such an established cast of iyami, chibita, etc (although they haven’t been used that much this season sadly, it is still only a few episodes in tho) but i feel like it’s working so far! i should have had confidence the crew could do it jfk
other: the theme song is so so good i rewatch it every day and the ending is so cute (totoko+nyaa lesbians!!), the animation is as great as ever and even slightly improved in some parts?? for the little commercial images (eyecatcher type things) i dont know how i feel about the slightly changed artstyle yet but ill get used to it; the first episode made me laugh so hard the kny ref was perfect and the seiyuus always make me laugh so that bit was great too
I’m loving this season so far aa nobodys reading this but if u r then thanks ig?? why listen to me anyways i love kara bye
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liberolove · 3 years
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Our Great Perhaps
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Pairing: Nishinoya x reader
Summary: You two have been dating for about 3 years. You met him in your first semester of college, and you two have been pretty strong. Now, however, taking into account each of your career paths has brought up issues. Maybe, it wasn’t meant to be.
Genre: crack, angst, college au (first part)
Warnings: cussing
Part Two || Part One: here
The drive back to your house was casual and friendly, but you could definitely sense a bit of tension.
He dropped you off and left. As soon as you were inside your home, you immediately burst out into tears.
There was no way he was waiting. Especially not for you. He needed a shot at love. You weren’t there, but she was. He’s probably happier now, too.
You curled up into bed and fell asleep from the exhaustion of crying so much.
~~~~~~~
Your first week back home flew by quickly. The new branch was getting along nicely, and everything was running smoothly. Your friends would drop by from time to time, asking about the latest details of your love life. That’s when you mentioned to them whom you had bumped into earlier that week.
“Oh my gosh!” “How’d it go!?” “Do you still have feelings for him?” “He has a girlfriend, now, by the way. They’ve only been dating for about 5 months now.”
The barrage of questions was overwhelming, but you got to each of them. And you were heavily interested in his new girlfriend. Just how much did your friends know about her?
“She’s a nurse, so she’s always busy. She met Nishinoya when one of his students sprained their ankle, while playing. Sometimes, when I bump into him on the street and he’s on his phone, I hear them arguing or something. And they never really go out, so I don’t know what they’re like out on dates and stuff.”
Wow. It really seemed like your friends did some investigating for you. It was nice to know that they’ll always have your back. But, you knew that this wasn’t something you should really be meddling in. He has his life and you have yours.
You two can be friends and all, but nothing more. No matter how desperately you wanted it. You missed everything about him. His new girlfriend was the luckiest girl in the world.
“Oh by the way, y/n!! Since we’re already on the topic... Guess who texted me yesterday, asking for YOUR number???”
“No way. Don’t tell me.”
“NISHINOYA!”
“Why would he want my number?”
“He just told me he wanted to keep talking to you and stay in touch.”
You couldn’t believe it. Was it really happening? Nishinoya still wanted to talk to you.
Your phone buzzed. All your friends stared at the screen. “Well, speak of the devil.”
The message read: Hey, y/n! It’s Noya. I hope you don’t mind but I got your number from xxx. I just wanted to keep talking and be close again like back in college (:
You were sure that your heart had completely shut down by then. Even if you couldn’t be around Nishinoya in the way you wanted, you sure as hell weren’t going to decline this.
You were so excited and nervous at the same time, that you almost forgot to reply.
“Y/N! You’ve gotta say something!!”
“Alright already! I will! I just don’t know what to say..”
“Just say a simple hey? Like you’re interested but not TOO interested, ya know?”
“Okay, got it.” You began typing: Hey, Noya! I don’t mind, and yeah of course. I’d love to keep talking (:
The rest of the night was full of the juiciest gossip of the town and exchanging ridiculous worst date stories.
~~~~~~~
As the weeks dragged on, you found yourself texting Noya more than anyone else. He was the highlight of your days. 
Every time your phone buzzed with a message from him, your heart would skip a beat. You’d still think over exactly what you wanted to say to him, being careful not to cross any boundaries. 
Unbeknownst to you, Nishinoya was feeling the exact same way. 
You two talked about literally everything in the world. Except for one topic: his girlfriend. There was no way you could bring her up in conversation casually. It would be crossing the line, definitely.
~~~~~~~
It was just another average day. You were pooped after having to work so much that week. You were looking forward to relaxing on the couch and catching up on your favorite sitcoms. 
Noya had been texting you nonstop all day. It felt great, but you couldn’t help but wonder if he texted her like this too.
What are you up to tonight?
Oh, you know the usual. Just gonna snack and watch Netflix. How about you?
Not much. Still trying to decide what I wanna do. What are you gonna watch?
I’m in the mood to rewatch That 70′s Show to be honest, lol.
I remember you watching that show every night! It’s pretty funny
Yeah, that’s why I watch it, lmao. 
You got room for one more?
Fuck. What the fuck. Was he being serious? Or joking around? You hadn’t seen him in a while, since you’re both so busy with work. But today, your days off coincided with one another. Sure, you two had hung out together before, but never somewhere as private as your home. You’d been to restaurants and bars, but that’s pretty much it. 
If he’s serious, that means he wants to come HERE. To YOUR house. He wants to be in YOUR house, with YOU. With you.. ALONE. 
Your mind was racing. With shaky fingers, you replied playfully: Only if you’re bringing takeout!
The next few minutes felt like an eternity. Five minutes went by. Ten minutes. Soon enough, an hour had gone by, and no answer. 
Had I crossed the line? you asked yourself.
-BUZZ-
What’s your address? I’ve got sushi and more snacks (:
You quickly messaged him your address, with your heart ready to burst out of your chest, and your brain ready to explode. 
Another five minutes pass by. 
-KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK-
He still knocks three times.. You open the door and find him semi-dressed up in a cute red button up and dark blue slacks. He was glowing.
In his hands, he was carrying a bag of sushi and chow mein takeout. In the other hand, he had your favorite: Hot Cheetos. 
How the hell did he still remember everything about you?
“Hey, sunshine! Ready to binge watch some That 70′s Show?”
“Yeaah.” You let him in and placed the bags on the coffee table by the couch. You started setting everything up, still shaken up over his pet name for you. 
Noya quickly made himself comfortable on your couch, picking a spot right up next to you. The distance between you two shortening, every time he took a bite of his food. 
His hearty laughter made your heart flutter and your stomach flip. The show was funny, but not THAT funny. 
Before you knew it, your knees bumped into one another’s. The distance between you was nonexistent now. When your knees touched, you jumped a little, startled from the sudden intimacy.
“Oh, sorry! I guess I scooted in too close. I just didn’t want to be TOO far from you, you know?”
“Ha, it’s okay.”
The show droned on in the background, as you two fell silent. Nishinoya then grabbed the remote and muted the TV. 
“Hey, y/n?”
“Yeah? What is it, Nishi?” You regressed back to calling him the special nickname only you ever used, without realizing.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.” You meant it. You’d do anything for him in a heartbeat.
“Do you still remember the first time we met? In our psychology class, the first year of college?”
“How could I ever forget?”
“Did you feel like it was love at first sight, too?”
You hesitated. Why was he bringing this up? Right now, especially. You stared at him for what felt like ten minutes, taking him in again. He had changed physically from the last time you were with him in your old apartment. His eyebrows were well groomed, he grew a bit of chin stubble, and he had smile lines on his face.. 
But he was still the same person you fell in love with all those years ago.
The silence dragged on, until you interrupted it. “Yeah. It did feel like that, huh?”
“I’m glad it wasn’t just me.” It seemed like he wanted to keep talking, but he stopped himself, mid-breath. He unmuted the TV and went back to watching, but the tension brought on by the questions still lingered in the air.
Unable to deal with the awkwardness, you started cleaning up, and stood up, right in front of him. “Why?”
Confused, he asked, “Why what?”
“Why are you doing this? Why bring up the past? I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now, but I still have feelings for you, okay?”
“I know.”
“Then what’s the point of torturing me like this? You have a girlfriend..”
He got up immediately and pulled you in for an unexpected, sloppy kiss. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want it, but you pushed him off anyways.
“Stop. Please. Don’t do this to me.”
“Kitty..” 
You couldn’t believe he was using his old pet name for you. All you could do was point at the door, baffled by his rapid change. 
He wasn’t moving. Instead, he pulled you in again, but with more force. He was restraining you while embracing you. 
“Let me go, please, Nishi. Don’t make this harder.”
You were practically sobbing at this point. Why couldn’t he understand that this was wrong? You weren’t his girlfriend, nor would you ever be. 
You felt your shirt dampen with his tears, as well. Why was he crying too?
“I broke up with her a week ago.. I’ve missed you so much.”
His hold on you loosened, and you took that as an opportunity to drape your arms around his neck, as you kissed the tears on his face away.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Please believe me. I just want you, y/n. I’ve been waiting for you to come back. But after waiting for 4 years, I gave up. I started dating around, trying to find someone like you, but no one could ever compare. You’re the love of my life, y/n. Please don’t leave me again..”
“I won’t. I promise.”
“God, it’s been so hard to be here without you. I’ve been waiting for this for so long. I still love you. I’ve never stopped loving you, and I’ll always love you.”
“I love you and I’ll always love you too.”
That night, you two shared a bed again for the first time in seven years. Everything in the universe fell back into place. You had found your Great Perhaps.
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Season 3 episode 10 commentary with my sister:
Okay NOW can I stalk their instagrams???
Let’s have a moment of silence to mourn that this is the last episode
This recap is depressing the shit out of me, like thanks for the reminder but no thanks
Please tell me he is not playing video games
SENNE!
Wait, go back for a second!....the poster above the tv says “worry less, laugh more” and if that isn’t a fucking tagline for Robbe then idk what is
Exams? No, Senne, not exams
Senne just munching on some snacks while Robbe is having a crisis
It’s not your fault Robbe!
Senne give him some brotherly advice
Stop mentioning her name!
LOLLL Senne you fool
Listen to the man!
Senne dropping the knowledge on Robbe..i love it
Oh shit it’s Christmas! Definitely forgot about that
Stop fighting!!
Zoe wtf you doing?
That fucking ringtone again..
His phone is bigger than his head
YAY!! **raises arms to the sky to celebrate** (news about his mom)
Him smiling means I’m smiling
Wow way to be a Debby Downer Milan…
Okay, but Robbe...where is your man?
Oh the hospital! Is he visiting his mom or Sander??
FUCK. MY. LIFE! Not her
GONE? Gone where??
Idc if I’m a bitch, but I still don’t like her
Explain yourself to him! What did you mean??
Was that a drawing of Robbe???
LOL to Britt if that was Robbe
I mean I guess we can let you know..
It was him!! Damn he is good
Fucking hell the shaky breaths are back
So did Sander just like leave all his shit there?
Yes call him
Damn right there is! (”there is an us”)
Damn right you do! (”i love you”)
I want him to call ALL of us immediately...except Britt
Cool so still no Sander?
Waddup Jens!
Listen to Jens, don’t go down that road
Sander!
There is that chernobyl again
Good to know you’re safe, but he just wants to be with you
Yes, Robbe..Chernobyl- Wait, the school!!!!!
RUNNNNNNN!!
Why do I know this song?
Oh god there are flashbacks
Why do I recognize this song?
I knew it was the school
More flashbacks?? Lord help me
Sanderrrr where are you
Oh shit, go back that was so cool (the drawings turning into flashbacks)
So many memories!!!!
This is so cool
Where is-- FOUND HIM
**presses pause** I feel the need to take a moment because this is going to be an emotional scene…. **presse play**
He look so lost
No, don't go away!
Oh god he’s crying..help
PAUSE! ..are those drawings of Robbe above his desk?? **peers closely at the tv** oh god they are **presses play**
Shit! They are all over the room!!
Yes, stay!
Nope he will always be there
Ahhh no he will!
We were all worried
Oh god he is holding his--nope he is kissing his hand
Nooo you’re not toxic
Holy shit this is so good
We BOTH have never felt something like that (RIP to her bf again)
Oh boy he said I love you..i’m a mess
He will always say it!
Not in any universe
Oh shit the song is back...where is that from??  **informs her it is from the first kiss** Oh well way to fuck me up with the soundtrack
Oh a game!
Omg the minute by minute already?
Yes, let’s play that
Yes, very chill
His little smile 
This is so sweet
The song is back!
Oh nooooo! Oh god
I’m not okay...not at all
Omg I wasn’t ready for a break down...
I don’t even know where to begin...Sanderrrr
Honestly their acting in this is fucking amazing
OMG! Call back to their almost first kiss!!
Pause! I’m sorry but play that scene again…
**physically covers her mouth for the entire 2nd time watching it**
One more time and then I swear we can move on, I just feel like I missed things…
**third time through** all the pictures!!! This is so painful to watch, but also makes me so happy. I’m so torn...I’m happy Sander has Robbe because Robbe is so sweet...this is hard to watch...I’m emotional on so many levels please don’t judge me...this is so much harder to watch than Skam...I hate how sentimental I am being because it just reminds me of you and I hate it...don’t judge me….also these actors are so fucking good, and I know I’ve said that but it’s true
Before we move on and I don’t care that I’ve paused it and rewound it like a thousands times, you’re gonna listen to another rant. There is so much to say about that scene and I don’t know if i will ever be able to say it all or put it into words and like I said before I’m being overly emotionally about this so please don’t judge me. I know that this is so different form Skam because they combined two scenes and there was a lot more discussion, but I liked the changes because I felt like it fit these characters more. And I love that Robbe never tried to be like oh that’s silly don’t think that, he was just like yeah that shit might happen but I’m still gonna be here. And the call back to the almost kiss was perfect. The whole scene was amazing and well done. Idk, there is so much more to say but I’m just gonna shut up for now
Okay...we can move on now
Oh sweet lord I wasn’t ready...that is fucking adorable
Little spoon Robbe!
Is this a Grease song??
That is the most annoying alarm
Don’t worry Britt, he already has
This is sweetest scene and no one has talked
No! He would never leave you!
Lol to the universe again
Oh yeah...school..that’s a thing
Ofc he is coming back, you silly billy
Still weirded out by the fact that they have little windows on their doors
Does Robbe know what pants are? Like feel free to wear them
Oh mother fucker…
Please tell this isn’t happening
I didn’t go through an entire season of hell with you two to have it end like this
Oh sweet fucking lord..I hate it
CUT! Scene over! 
Noo!
Fuck my life…
Brother and sister right here..love it
Oh hey Moyo
I mean he’s had better days but thanks for asking
Only good advice you’ve ever given dude
You better be okay with it, but thanks for saying it
MAYBE? Maybe it seemed that way? Boy..
I mean I guess you can be broerrs, but you’ve got a lot of work to do my friend
Jens...what?? Check your eyesight
No he would NOT do you
Hahahhaha Jens is butthurt again
He’d choose dying
LOL at you Aaron
I mean, never say never Aaron
Robbe laughing? A rare sight and I love it
Are they out shopping together??
Oh right..it’s christmas time..
NO, let’s stay on topic Zoe
Robbe out here being the relationship expert now
Agree to disagree Zoe
Okay cool let’s not focus on his good traits…
Dude same (Zoe says she feels like shit)
Hahahahaha disaster gay again
Oh Robbe, thank god you brought Zoe
I love this friendship
Damnit right it didn’t feel right
It does indeed (robbe says shit with Sander sucks)
Hell yes it feels right between you two
Oh hey Noor! Legit forgot about you for awhile
Awkward..
I mean yeah..but who wouldn’t want you (robbe) around? Fools, that’s who
She’s pretty cool, I’ll give you that
He’s better than alright...he’s phenomenal
Oooh a party! Hope I’m invited 
Aww Milan and Sander bonding! Love that
Cozy indeed
Milan as a babysitter sounds like a terrible idea
Did he just call him an angel???
Once again Milan is me, I am Milan
They are so fucking cute...they deserve it
The virus??? Holy shit. They started the coronavirus! You bastards
**dances** party time!!
Interior designers over here
Milan you sneaky man you...NO PEEKING!
Jack Frost?!?! Hahahhahahaha OMG hahahaha
Aaron you weirdo wtf???
LOL at Sanders face!! Same, dude same
Also sidenote: him saying he is Robbe’s bf...makes me so fucking happy
Those smiles at each other..fucking adorable
Noor! You made it!
Presents for everyone!
Who is giving alcohol to the Hot Mess Express??
No idea what just happened but ROBBE IS SMILING
Back that shit up! **rewinds** They really looked at each other after Milan said that! (about a cute boy for a present)
Milan disappoint level 100
OMG Noor got Sander?? And a Bowie shirt? Fucking legend
LOL at the fact that Noor is in between Robbe and Sander
Cuddles! (robbe and Sander on the couch)
Luca she is never going to understand anything sex related..poor girl
Back up! **rewinds** Robbe out here spinning his man on the dance floor, so cute
Oh good Lord Aaron is going for it?
Aaron man, don’t fuck it up
I know I should focus on Aaron, but Sander in the background smiling has my attention and I don’t feel bad about that at all
Aaron, man the fuck up! 
There ya go buddy
She is one of kind that’s for sure…
I know I give Amber a lot of shit but you go girl!!
AHHHHH!!!
Shock level 1,000
LOL at everyone’s reaction
**dances** this is my jam!!
DANCE FOR ME, DANCE FOR ME!!
Robbe go and dance my dude
Wait I remember the vlogs..nvm don’t dance
Sander and laughing is a beautiful combo
Oooo I see you Noor and Moyo
He told his mom!
Oh shit Sander looks good in this scene
Oh you got jokes again Sander? 
Yes meet the parents!!
I hope we get to see it (LOL at Kennedy)
Yeah but you’re bringing the BEST boy home
Robbe’s got jokes now too
Sander’s philosophy around Robbe now: clothing optional
Aww they’re so happy and cute! 
That is very true Robbe
The looks between--- oh shit hey Hot Mess Express!
OMG! Robbe said fuck all y’all I’m gonna make out with my bf in front of you
The fact that everyone is cheering them on and Robbe is comfortable with doing that...I’m overwhelmed
WAIT! It’s over?!?!
Holy shit I wasn’t ready…
I have so many thoughts on this season...it was so fucking good. Willem fucking killed it and whoever played Sander (informs her of his name) they are both Willem?! Wtf that’s confusing...anyways they both fucking killed it!! Robbe from episode 1 to now...I’m so proud...I have more thoughts so listen up
**goes on a rant for 10+ more minutes** I am definitely rewatching this season next week because I felt like i missed a lot and I want to focus on the small things
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admutual · 4 years
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any hayley or steve childhood headcanons hell add stan if thats ok!!
oo !!
hayley ones:
hayley was always bringing weird animals inside and trying to convince stan and francine to let her keep them. multiple instances of her running inside, covered in dirt, and holding a garter snake begging ‘please please can we keep her??’ while steve screams in terror.
that hc i mentioned of francine always standing up for the other kids ,, hayley inherited that trait. my god she was The Most protective kid during her school years, she absolutely refused to let anyone get walked over when she knew they didn’t deserve it.
hayley was a wolf girl growing up,, change my mind. and black wolves were always her fave.
hayley definitely read animorphs growing up. those books shaped her and her fave character was cassie,,, also once she got more comfortable with living with roger she bullied him for not looking as cool as an andalite or a hork-bajir.
hayley went through an emo phase during her middle and high school years. she tried really hard to get an emo fringe, she was always blasting mcr and the used and three days grace, and her first job was at a hot topic.
hayley and stan were obviously tight-knit buds back in the day. like ,, she’d set up tea parties for them in the backyard, going out to movies was almost a weekly activity for the two of them, they were always planning picnics together,, they were really close. also every time they went to familyland together, hayley was always trying to drag him along with her to the more Extreme rides. francine kept telling her she’d go since she knew stan wasn’t the biggest fan of those rides like she was, but hayley kept insisting and it’d always end with stan near traumatized. big cia man goes on scary missions daily but he can’t handle a little roller coaster.
hayley’s hair was . pretty often a Mess when she was young. it was staticky, always sticking up at some angle, she often got too excited that she never took the time to comb out her hair in the mornings. plus it’s always been a habit of hers to play with her hair whenever she gets too excited or nervous, so even if she got it all straightened out it’d still turn into a mess by the end of the day.
hayley was always covered in scrapes and bruises. there was never a day where she didn’t have a bandaid somewhere.
she was a really tall kid during elementary school. she was almost always the tallest kid in her class. around high school everyone outgrew her though and now she’s . really short compared to most people her age, but yeah when she was little . Tall Girl (2019).
hayley skateboarded in middle school, and she was really damn good at it. she got in loads of trouble for skateboarding on school property and she thought she was the coolest kid for doing it.
stan and francine tried really hard not to curse around hayley when she was little (once steve came around they gave up trying), but occasionally something would slip out and hayley would always parrot it. stan looking at a bill and muttering ‘shit’ and then in the living room hearing what is obviously a toddler screaming ‘SHIT’
hayley, like steve, was always kinda lonely during her school years. steve eventually found friends in snot, barry, toshi, and roger too once he moved in, but hayley never really learned proper social skills as she was often pushed away for being the loud rowdy ‘annoying’ kid, and they always viewed her attempts to try to get close to others as too ‘desperate’. she has found friends in her adulthood, but yeah during her childhood she mostly just stuck around her family.
hayley was That Kid who would always use those fake clip-on earrings you’d get from claires, as well as cutting up the spiral from her notebook to use as a fake lip piercing, and she’d spend all day trying to convince her classmates ‘yeah no it’s real’
hayley liked stealing her dad’s camera and using it to film fake vlogs. they have multiple reels that go from cute family videos, to hayley making lps vids and fake cooking tutorials.
hayley drew a lot growing up and francine still has dozens of her drawings magneted to the fridge. hayley’s always cringing and asking her to take them down, but tbh francine’s never going to.
hayley’s always loved being outside at night. occasionally she’d sneak steve out with her to play in the backyard and it’d always lead to them in the treehouse, and stan catching them because they kept shining their flashlight against their bedroom window.
steve ones:
steve’s definitely adhd, autistic, and dyslexic. (the latter’s literally canon, and the two former ones are hcs that to me feel so obvious that i’m always a little hesitant calling it a hc). i really like imagining his parents being really patient with him in this area, even stan learned to be more composed and gentle with him when it came to this, and the two of them helping him find ways to cope. francine especially enjoyed nights helping him read.
steve’s interest in birds has been with him for pretty much his entire life, i like to imagine it’s always been his biggest special interest. also i’ve noticed there’s random scenes where stan’s displayed a bit of an interest or at least an appreciation of birds, so i kinda like to imagine stan used to take steve to the park for birdwatching trips when he was young before steve started going with roger. sometimes francine and hayley would tag along, but mostly it was just stan taking steve out and listening to him ramble about all the birds he’s spotting,, every time steve had a bad day stan’s immediate solution was to take him to the park.
when roger first moved in, he and steve were inseparable. steve was obsessed with learning everything about him and his species and his home planet, while roger saw steve as the one safe person to be around (francine, hayley, and klaus were still anxious towards him while stan was too strict and controlling for him). for a good few months until he started bonding with the rest of the fam roger would get really mopey whenever steve would go to school or leave to hang with his other friends, and the second steve walked through that door roger would excitedly hug him and try to lead him off to go do something together.
@a-d-lesbian got me into the hc that steve’s a theater kid and like ,, i’m always thinking about steve getting a tiny little background role in a 6th grade christmas show that they were required to do as a class, and he just loses his mind. he convinces stan and francine to let him invite the grandparents, he has francine film every scene he’s in where he just . Stands There. and then after the show when they get home he makes them all rewatch them all because he’s really damn proud of himself.
steve’s fave books growing up were always xenofiction. stuff like warrior cats and guardians of ga’hoole and redwall. he loved that shit. like i’m just imagining him trying to get his friends to larp warrior cats but none of them read it so they don’t know what he wants them to do, and he keeps assigning them warrior cat sonas and calling them by warrior cat names at school,, and he keeps calling god ‘starclan’ (which makes stan. Mad). am i projecting? that’s a secret, i’ll never tell.
steve was absolutely the Anime Kid in middle school. the amount of times he got yelled at for naruto running in the hallways was far too much. and his faves were fruits basket, nichijou, and k-on.
i’m so obviously projecting with my steve hcs here but i’m not gonna stop and i’m gonna say steve’s a trans guy. i know it makes no sense in canon, but canon’s dead it’s mine now. anyways he’s known since around the time he started middle school, and stan and francine love him and support him and i don’t have much else to say without getting Too Projecting, but yeah steve’s trans.
steve was pretty socially anxious growing up. he did get better as he grew older obv, but when he was little he was A Mess in school.
steve loved making flower crowns when he was little. he learned how to in his 2nd grade art class and just obsessed over it for a good few years and he was always making them for the fam. francine, stan, and hayley didn’t mind, they thought it was cute. i can see hayley learning to make them too and the two of them exchanging crowns,, and francine probably learned how to make some too during her college years and steve would always get really excited whenever she tried making some with him. poor roger though, once he moved in, steve took him as his new model and roger was forced to suffer through sitting in the hot sun while steve covered him in flowers.
steve never stopped singing. oh my god, stan loves him but he eventually reached a point where he started hiding their disney movies because steve would always loudly sing along and he just wanted some peace and quiet to work.
i like to imagine klaus has a sibling-esque relationship with pretty much the entire fam, but especially with steve. he was always pretty protective of him despite not really being able to do anything if he got hurt, and klaus was always there to talk to whenever steve needed it.
steve’s always liked to help francine bake. originally it was just so he could claim the mixer of batter before hayley could, but he quickly got really invested and he still loves helping out.
and in general for the both of them:
steve was the type of kid who bonked his head against the table a little and would spend the rest of the night crying while francine comforted him,, while hayley was the type of kid who could fly down the stairs and leave an actual dent in the wall and she’d still jump up assuring everyone ‘i’m okay!!’
hayley and steve used to play pokemon together growing up. hayley was more casually into it while steve was more obsessed (i like to imagine it was a special interest of his growing up). nowadays hayley doesn’t play it too often, but every now and then some big news will happen like new starters getting revealed, and steve will show her and hayley still can’t help but get at least a bit excited each time.
francine tried to do cute little family halloween costumes a few years. the idea of them doing an addams family group costume is precious.
francine always took them out for christmas photos every year. just dozens of photos of the four of them in the tackiest sweaters. they don’t do it as often anymore (or at least they don’t take as many photos outside of a few while they’re setting up the tree) but they still have framed photos of them that they set on the fireplace mantle every year.
listen …….. there were definitely multiple instances when they were really little of stan coming home from work ,, and steve and hayley excitedly tackling him,,,, and stan dramatically acting like he’s being attacked and losing ,,,
despite roger being a Dick, he was super protective of the two of them back in the day. either of them come home from school with a bruise, and roger’s already planning out an elaborate revenge scheme.
as for stan ,,
i’m adopting @stancine’s hc to say he was definitely a country boy. i kinda like to imagine his uncle on his mother’s side lived on a farm, and stan was really close to him growing up and it just sorta became monthly to take weekend trips to see him.
stan loved horses. he was definitely a Horse Kid, and his fave breeds are clydesdales and friesians.
sheep too!! one of his favorite yearly activities is during the springtime when his uncle helps him out with shearing the sheep.
also stan loved camping. he loved going out on walks through the woods and he especially loved fishing, but the second the sun went down he cowered in the back of the tent next to his mom because he was terrified of the noises coming from outside.
stan was a really quiet kid growing up. he sucked at properly standing up for himself, that’s kinda the reason he’s so harsh on steve for accepting mistreatment because he knows how hard it is and he doesn’t want his son to go through the same shit he did.
mother’s day was always one of his favorite holidays. he’d be obsessed with planning the whole day around trying to make it perfect for betty. making her breakfast in bed and saving up his allowance to buy her a gift, and he’d always make elaborate art projects for her every year.
stan . tried to learn how to ride a motorcycle in high school. it was this random obsession he got for no reason where he just really wanted one, but he always panicked whenever he got the chance to try one out. never even got his permit because he was so scared.
stan had a lot of pent-up anger as a kid that he never even recognized as anger until he got older. because of that he often broke his toys on accident because something wasn’t working correctly, and sometimes he’d snap at teachers on accident. obv he still had a problem with it but at least now he knows what’s going on and can at least try to work on dealing with it.
betty used to read to stan at night when he was really young. they didn’t have many books around so it was just stan listening to her read the same four dr. seuss books over and over. he didn’t mind though.
stan’s always loved writing and a good chunk of his free time was writing little short stories. he took a creative writing class in high school and he almost immediately became the teacher’s pet.
stan was a pretty lonely socially inept kid and i like to think growing up he tried getting a lot of his ‘advice’ on how to interact with others through television. one time he tried to get a girl’s attention by doing the ‘throwing pebbles at their window’ trope, but he fucked up and got too big a stone and threw it too hard, and just shattered this poor girl’s window. and stan spent the rest of the night crying in his room before caving and turning himself in.
i can see him being really into superheroes when he was younger. just him bounding around the house with a blanket for a cape, acting out random scenes he read out of the latest issue he bought.
stan was obv a dog kid. he’d often find himself going to the adoption shelter near his house just to see the dogs there whenever he was feeling down. and his fave breeds were golden retrievers, pit bulls, and shelties.
god i have tons more for all of them but i’m gonna stop because this is already long enough as it is.
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gleefail · 4 years
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Glee Memories: 1x10 Ballad
A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.
8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.
Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!
1x10 Ballad “Ok, who can tell me what a ballad is?” “It’s a male duck”
ok, I disagree with Schue’s definition of a ballad. “Stories set to music” – um…isn’t that every song? Or is it just in musicals that it’s supposed to be, lol?
“Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio showchoir committee FINALLY paid off” and the look she gives Puck. Haha. This Rachel Berry is funny. Cause they’re letting us laugh at her right along with her. Not asking us to put her on a pedestal and/or take her seriously all the damn time. I’m not even gonna get started. I’m watching this post Props/Nationals, and though I didn’t think it could, my hate has grown. In abundance. Trying to keep it in check. Moving on…
“I bet that duck’s in the hat”
“Matt’s out sick today. He had to go to the hospital cause they found a spider in his ear” Um, ew. Also terrifying. However, humorous nonetheless. And an effort to explain a random absence of a Glee club member. Remember how they used to do that?
Aw, Artie drew Quinn’s name out of the hat. :) 2 seasons later and they’ll get 2 duets (both of which I loooove). Shame they didn’t do it this ep. Romantic or just friends, I ADORE the chemistry with Diana and Kevin. I really wanted to see more of that. :(
omg. Kurt’s face when Finn pulls his name. Adorable. Also, I love that Finn is not cool with it but a year later Sam is totes fine. Maybe that’s just cause I love dudes that are comfortable enough in their sexuality to do things that d-bags in high school might tease them about being gay for. Or maybe that’s just cause I love Sam Evans. Couldn’t tell ya. Except yeah, I totes could. It’s cause I wants a Trouty Mouth to call my very own. *lesigh*
“other asian” Ha!
Brittana!
“The fates talked, Mr. Schue” #BlessFinnsHeart
I love the voice-overs during Endless Love: “Screw him if he thinks he’s taking the Diana Ross part from me” “I love the days when I wear no underwear” “I never noticed how nice Rachel’s butt is…oh crap! I think Quinn knows I’m staring at it!”
I also love the facial expressions of Rachel and Mr. Schue here. Hilarious.
Haha – Brad’s like “wtf is happening?”
“Crap – she looks crazy right now!” hahahahahaha
Because of Rachel’s realization through this song, it means Lea Michele can’t squint nearly as much. Wow. It’s like a whole new Rachel with her eyes open while she’s singing.
Artie’s face after the duet. It’s like someone stepped in dog poop.
Ok, Charlotte Ross was in a show in the 90’s I used to watch that, if I recall, failed miserably but nonetheless had a brief stint as my guilty pleasure show. And I can’t remember what it is for the life of me and keep forgetting to look when I have access to google it. Anyone?
“I don’t want you to lift a finger for me. I’m your wife!” Oh wow. So unhealthy. So republican. Soooooo some parts of Ohio. These are the folks that voted for Bush. :/ Yep, I’m still ashamed to be from Ohio when I think of that election.
Suzy. Pepper. Yes. I love this actress. Bright and Hannah were my OTP on Everwood. I miss them.
“You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath. That’s so romantic.”
“Listen, you little psycho, this is Will’s wife, and if I don’t get enough sleep my anti-depressants won’t work, and then I’ll go crazy and I’ll kill you.” Oh Terri. So maternal and loving.
Suzy Pepper is sobbing to More Than Words. That was my jam back in the day!
“Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling…and….inappropriate.”
“Thank God I never missed a piano lesson” – really Kurt? Is this the first and only time we’re to believe Kurt can play piano well enough to accompany someone from memory?
Finn singing I’ll Stand By You to a sonogram dvd on his laptop. I have no words. I don’t think I thought it was this weird the first time I watched it.
So Finn’s mom busts him singing to said laptop sonogram dvd…and he doesn’t close the laptop…or stop the dvd…or try to hide the screen. He sits up next to it as she approaches him, almost begging her to see it. I felt the same way then as I do now – it was an opportunity for him to not tell her necessarily but for her to find out anyways and I think he really wanted her to know so he could go to her for help and comfort and to relieve everything he couldn’t deal with about the situation. I’m just sayin’.
Oh old school Carol with her denim and that hair…she’s still such a great mom though. And this actress. My God. She’s amazing.
“You’re wrong, I’m right. I’m smart, you’re dumb.”
“Dude. Impulse control!” haha
“I dunno why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he’s cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows.” #BlessFinnsHeart
Oh Young Girl/Don’t Stand So Close to Me mash-up. I fell in lust with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.
Seriously. Matthew Morrison is so hot in this mash-up. Yowzah.
“So, Rachel, do you think you understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?” “Yes! It means I’m very young and it’s hard for you to stand close to me.”
“You’re a very good performer. He’s very good.”
Finn and Kurt bonding over their lost parents. This is a sweet scene.
“You think I should bring a gun?” #BlessFinnsHeart
“Casserole’s almost ready. Hope you like venison!” Ok. TERRIFYING to come home and find Rachel Berry in an apron, cooking you dinner, in your home.
Hey, remember that time that Rachel literally sang 3 lines of Crush and they released it in its entirety as a single from this episode? Ridonk.
“I found out today that my hamster was pregnant in biology class and I just started weeping!”
Aw, Mercedes and Puck are paired up for duet ballads.
haha. Babygate.
“Finn’s not the father! I am.” People be spilling out their truths to Mercedes y’all.
“Alright, look, you need to get something through your Mohawk real quick: you’re the baby’s daddy. It takes a hell of a lot more to be a father and that role’s already been cast because Quinn chose Finn. You need to accept that and move on cause you have no business messin’ up that girl’s life more than you already have. You need to back off. You owe her at least that much. ”Aw, Mercedes. Laying down tough love. And looking out for Quinn before they were even friends. Man. I love Mercedes.
Oh that’s right – Quinn has an older sister! Why did we never meet her?
“He wears a helmet when he plays, right?” – THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’! #BlessFinnsHeart
“I have to go, they’ll think I’m pooping.” Hehehehe.
omg. So I love this still. Finn is doing karate moves in the bathroom mirror to pump himself up to sing to the Fabrays that Quinn’s pregnant. That is so effing funny. What happened to this Finn?
You’re Having My Baby. Haha. This song is so cheesy. This scene is so uncomfortable.
So Quinn’s parents, unlike Finn, are NOT simple-minded and have figured it out. And it’s terrifying.
“We didn’t even have sex” #BlessFinnsHeart
Quinn’s parents are kicking her out. Well, her dad is and her mom isn’t standing up to him. This is rough. Especially when you realize they’re supposed to be 15. So wrong. Poor Quinn. And her dad just screamed at her that she was a disappointment. Yeah…she’s had to deal with some shit. And in the end, they don’t acknowledge that she did and try to make her out to be the bad guy, and selfish… Way to go, RIB.
Oh good ole Carol, without a moment of hesitationlets Quinn stay with them.
“Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.” Carol’s the best. So glad she found Burt.
“We’re not so different, you and me. We’re both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings which only reinforces the conviction that we’re not worthy of being loved. Trust me. I’m a cautionary tale. You need to find some self-respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back.” Suzy Pepper, ladies and gentlemen. Dropping truth bombs.
“There’s some boy out there who’s gonna like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don’t like. Those are gonna be the things about you that he likes the most.” Hmm…might be true. Never thought about this, but I’d say that describes Jesse. But not Finn so much. Maybe recently. But…he has made several comments about her being annoying or controlling as they were dating. And not in a ‘those are my favorite things about her’ kinda way. Just sayin’.
Aw. Kurt seems like he feels really bad about Quinn getting kicked out.
“Open your eyes! I didn’t tell you to close your eyes.” “Is there a cake?” No, there’s no cake!” #BlessFinnsHeart
Lean On Me. Watching this now, with one ep left and it’s graduation…yeah, I’m crying. Dammit, Glee.
haha, Mercedes just kinda pushed past Rachel who was front and center to sing her solo. Probably not intentional but still funny.
Damn, Kevin McHale.
Damn, Amber Riley.
SOLOS: Rachel (1), Will (2), Finn (2), Artie (1), Mercedes (1)
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saluzozette · 4 years
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TAGrewatch
I am so excited by this rewatch y’all have no idea ! I remember when I first was introduced to the thunderbirds, I was around twelve years old and it was the 2004 movie. I liked it, but as a young french girl, I had no idea there was more to it. Then, when I was nineteen, I visited my mom’s friend in new-zealand and it was dumb luck we ever talked about it. Then he told me there was a show ! And THEN I realised there was going to be a remake ! It was insane ! I was so happy ?!!
I really like that show. It has everything I need, except maybe a lack of everyday life on tracy island but well.
So, as I was watching it the first time around, I wanted to write a series of ficlet. The idea was to write a OS for every episode and take the moment were everything could have gone wrong and well... make everything go wrong ^^’ I really love angst, ok ? 
I only managed to write something for the first seven or something episodes, and then I stoped, but I would be happy to share my writing with you today !
Enjoy !
More under the cut
What could have gone wrong
Episode 1, Ring of fire part 1
Gordon’s POV :
“Ok, folks, I'm almost there.”
Now that I got that weird device which, I’m almost certain, is causing those sea quakes, I can finally focus on what I really came here for in the first place. The rescue. I know I shouldn’t have ooze away like that, but… for a second… For a second I thought I had found my dad. I know I should have focus on the rescue, and then go back and check the device, but I couldn’t… I just couldn’t.
Anyway, now I have that thing, and I’m back into business! Lab’s crew, get ready to be rescued.
“Good news, Thunderbird Four.” Virgil says through the radio, and I can hear the reassurance he’s not telling in his words. He knows how I feel. Hell, they all know. My dad is their dad after all. John and Scott stay silent but even then, it comforts me.
There it is. I can see the lab, the nose of which is seriously pointing down. I’m late. I will have to make it quick.
“Make it quick.” Virgil says as if he could read my mind. “I'm not sure how much longer we can hold on.”
Don’t worry big bro. I’m one of the fastest swimmer on hearth, remember?
“International Rescue!” Comes the lab’s director’s voice. “The control room is flooding! Just get us out of here!”
The panic is clear in the way his words are striving to came out all at once. I have to save those people. I have to.
I’m approaching the lab. Half its legs have fall off. The only thing that is stopping it from going away in the abyss underneath are Thunderbird One and Two’s cables. And by the way the lab is still heading down inch by inch, I can guess that Virgil and Scott are in trouble up there. Only my baby can make it under water. There is no way on hearth her two BIG big sisters could do it. It would ruin their engines.
“Leave the planet for a few hours and the whole world falls apart!”
“Hey, at least it has TV.”
I can’t help but grin at that, half mocking, half relieved. Just hearing my little brother et my sister’s complaints feels good. Alan and Kayo are back on hearth, and safe at home. I know I’m being stupid. I know I’m being overprotective, but I can’t help it. Alan sure is a Hell of an astronaut. He can even be the best, right next to John, for all I know, but I will never ever stop worrying when he and Kayo are up there, out of the atmosphere, out of the planet’s gravity, way out of my reach. I can’t stop worrying. It’s a big brother prerogative. Even if Kayo is in fact older than me.
Ok, Gordon, focus! Those people still need help, Alan don’t. What is up with you today? I come closer. Deployment of the movable arms, check; stabilization of the ‘bird, check. How am I going to get the crew to the surface? Thunderbird Four is a two-passenger’s ‘bird only. I can’t take them all with me. I will have to use the dry tubes.
“All right, here's the plan.” I call into my radio. “I'm cutting my way in from underneath, I'll evacuate the crew in dry tubes. Thunderbird Five, have the crew prepared for immediate evacuation. Everyone cool?”
John silence has always meant “yes”, and Virgil and Scott don’t complain. That makes me smile. I like it when nobody contests my plans. It means that even Mister Bossy and Mister I-always-have-something-to-say above water know that down there, I make the rules. Down there, there is no big or little brother, only me. I’m the Godfather of the oceans.
“Ok, then.” I say, unable to hide the satisfaction in my voice. “Here we go.”
It takes me less than a minute to laser a way in. Now, shall the exciting part begin. Even though I love my ‘bird, I rather be directly into the water. I don’t have a flying ‘bird, it is true. And if I had to fly one of those all by myself, I’m not sure I could do it without entirely destroying it on the way. But it doesn’t matter. Because when I’m diving, I’m flying anyway. Without wings, without engines, and without metal. I’m totally free! Except for the air bottles, ok. But those don’t count.
“Ok, I'm inside.” I say, heading for the entirely over flooded stairs. “Making my way to the crew compartment.”
One, two, three knocks and they open the door. Woah… It’s crowded in here! There are only three crewmen, but there is a whole bunch of stuff floating everywhere. And the erratic movements of the lab are not helping.
“I'm inside the control room.” I call while trying to calm down the crew’s panic. “All hands accounting for. I'll take them out, one at the time.”
“Good news, Thunderbird Four.” Virgil answers, a little stress escaping from his tone. “But hurry. We're hanging on by a thread here.”
I can feel the lab going down and down. Thunderbirds One and Two mustn’t have much room left to fly. The scientists’ director pushes a young lady into my arms. He wants me to help her first. Very well. I lead her down the stairs and through the door. For god’s sake, does she even know how to swim?! I know I’m a good swimmer but why does everybody else have to be bad ones?!
Eventually, I get her aboard my ‘bird and put her into a dry tube. I don’t have much more time.
“You're gonna be ok.” I tell her when she looks at me worryingly. I can’t afford to reassure her further, so I close the tube and send it to the surface. “First dry tube is away.”
Oh, crud… The lab is already half above the abyss. It’s a matter of second now. I don’t lose time saying anything to my brothers and go get another crew member right away. My heart is racing. The cables won’t stand a lot longer.
“One more to go.” I say when the second dry tube is ejected. “I'm going back in.”
Yeah, right, easy to say, much more difficult to do. Everything is moving! How am I supposed to swim faster if heavy metal things I can’t even give a name to are trying to kill me every second?
“The lab is shifting.” I tell my brothers when I reach the control room for the third time. “It's gonna flip any second!”
Honestly, I would have prefered that. Because I’m only able to share a look with the director, when a huge, heavy metal thing (of course!) pounds me against the wall. You know how you used to think that stuff get a lot lighter when you put it underwater? Yes? Well heavy metal things do not do that. They stay heavy. And they crush you.
That thing crushes me. The shock makes my lungs empty, and I just have the time to realize it is water that I am now breathing, before I start drowning. My air bottles have exploded!
***
Scott was having troubles with stabilizing his ‘bird. The lab was falling, and whatever Gordon was doing down there was taking too long.
“The lab's too heavy. It's pulling us both under!” He called to make his brother hurry.
Nobody answered. First, Scott felt irritation. Then, after more than ten very long and very silent seconds, worry started to kick in. What the Hell was Gordon doing?!
“Thunderbird Four, can you read me?” Virgil asked, way more scared than anything else.
Nobody answered.
“Gordon, do you read me?” He repeated.
Nobody answered.
“Gordon!”
And then…
The cables of Thunderbird Two broke. The lab fell even further and Thunderbird One came way too close from the ocean. Scott had no choice. If he kept holding on, he would go underwater. So he let it go. Without seeing it, the two brothers could tell, voices inaudible, and words unspeakable, that the lab had fall all the way into the abyss, along with the last scientist, Thunderbird Four, and Gordon.
“I’m not picking up any sign of life.” John’s voice came through the radio, low and broken. “The lab has exploded, Thunderbird Four as well… There are no survivors.”
Somewhere in the distance, coming from home, they could hear quiet sobs. Alan was crying, fear and despair drowning him, like water had just drown their fallen brother.
OoOoOoOoOoO
Episode 2, Ring of fire part 2
Scott’s POV:
“We have to destroy this dish. I need options, Brains. Fast.”
It's not that I start to feel pressured, but I sure start to feel pressured. If this mission is a failure it isn’t two or three lives that we are going to lose – although it would already be way too much – but possibly more than a hundred! By the Hood’s hands. We can’t allow that. We can’t let this city burn. To tell the truth, failure is not an option.
“Yeah!” My friend answers, showing me a modelization of the solar collector through my 3D projection device. “The primary support arm. Remove that and the entire dish will detach. I'm sending you coordinates now.”
Think fast, Scott. Do you have any other option to save everyone? Forget the electronical way, it doesn’t work. Virgil can’t move the dish manually either, because it would crush the control room. Oh, and those people still need to get out of here by the way. Ok, looks like you have no choice, after all.
“Virgil, get the engineers out.” I call through the radio, already heading for the ladder. “I'm taking out the dish.”
“Are you sure about this?” My brother asks.
He doesn’t like this plan any more than I do. If I cut the dish, not only will my life be in danger, but so will his and the engineers’. But we have no choice, and I know he knows it. The sun is rising, already causing damages to the city. We can’t risk several hundred existences just for the safety of our owns. Not even for the safety of three other people. The city comes first. Besides, I have another argument he can’t complain against.
“It's what Dad would have done.”
Silence in the radio. I’m not sure Virgil agrees with me on this, but at least, he doesn’t say anything. He must know how much I need to be sure I’m doing the right thing. I don’t care if it means putting my own life in danger.
I’m outside again. I don’t lose any more time and start climbing the primary support arm. Somewhere in the background, I can hear Thunderbird Two getting closer to the control room. Once I’m at the base of the dish, I start lazering.
“Virgil, I'm cutting my way through.” I tell my brother, praying for him to be already out with the engineers.
I can hear him talking to them through the radio, but I have no idea where he is. Let’s just hope he has finished rescuing them. The last metal bar gives away. I just have the time to grab the dish before it starts falling.
Ok, now I really need to get out of here. I can finally see my brother. He is hanging on Thunderbird Two’s rescuing seats, next to the three engineers. I knew he could do it! Damn, this thing is falling fast! Come on, Scott, stop thinking or you will be the one needing a rescue. You just have to make this fucking jet pack works.
It doesn’t work…
“The heat must have fried my jet pack!”
***
Virgil was securing his hold on the cable and making sure that the engineers could not fall when he heard his older brother’s cry. His heart froze. What did he mean by “fried jet pack”? Almost too scared to check, the young man took a look anyway. What he saw made him chocked.
“Scott!” He cried to his sibling who could not heard him. “Scott!”
The oldest Tracy was ridiculously small on the dish, compared to the giant Virgil was seeing in his mind. Scott was the oldest of his siblings, but also the strongest, the wisest, the anything-est! He was indestructible! Nothing could happen to him, right?
The dish fell all the way down the hill and Virgil followed it with Thunderbird Two. He didn’t care about the engineers anymore. The only thing he cared about was his brother.
“Scott, do you read me?!” He yelled into his radio when everything subsided.
He didn’t get an answer, but he didn’t really need one, because as soon as he had cried, he had seen what he was looking for. Scott was there, stuck under a huge metal bar, and even without checking, Virgil could tell he was dead. His big brother was dead.
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mightylauren · 5 years
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Avengers Endgame SPOILER FILLED Thoughtstream
Pretty much a blow by blow reaction stream straight from my mind in list form of the entire movie from beginning to end. Clearly full of spoilers so it’s below the cut and tagged to death. There’s some all caps screaming. A few keyboard smashes. A fair amount of cussing. Probably a fair amount of typos as I typed this while totally not rewatching it in the comfort of my home. 
Totally not.
I don’t really expect anyone to read all of this but it was all festering in my mind and now it’s out. 
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SERIOUSLY I SPOIL LIKE EVERYTHING BELOW THE CUT DON’T CLICK IT UNLESS YOU’RE SURE YOU WANT TO SEE IT.
Who put’s mayo on a hotdog?
Oh man hawks didn’t even see it happen nooo. I knew we were opening with Barton family dusting but ouch.
Tony calling Nebula the blue meanie!
Nebula refusing the last of the food and making Tony eat it makes me love her even more. 
Tony somehow keeps his sense of humor even in the face of death. God I love him. I know he’s gonna make it off this ship.
HA, that Internet joke about Carol showing up right after the trailer scene is true. That’s hilarious.
They never explain how Carol knew to look for them, but I’m going to guess she came to earth ala the scene after Captain Marvel and then went back out to see if she could find him.
Or she got REALLY lucky
I’m unclear does Nebula need oxygen and food? Or just significantly less than a full on human? She seems much better off than him.
Steve shaving did we miss seeing the beard one last time by like seconds? rude.
OMG Rocket sitting down and taking Nebula’s hand. The last of their family. Everyone else gone. My heart is aching.
23 days so we’re less than a month past Vanishing Day
Ha Tony calling Rocket Build a Bear is my first genuine laugh this movie.
I honestly was dying on the inside the whole time Tony is losing his shit on Cap. I mean he needed to say it all but seeing how sick he is and falling apart. He rips off his reactor and hands it over then collapses.
My heart.
Rhodey man. “That’s cute, Thanos has a retirement plan.”
Man this is the least planning they’ve ever done before a mission. They’re just gonna pack up, hop in a space ship and go kill Thanos? Cool. Coolcoolcool.
Okay it’s pretty good to see a lot of that trailer stuff is from very early on in the movie.
“Who here hasn’t been to space? You better not throw up on my ship.” XD
How does this big ass planet that can clearly sustain life have no life on it? Just Thanos some birds and some Meiloorun fruit?
That’s a Star Wars reference for those of you who don’t cross fandom lines.
So his snapping arm looks completely borked.
OH SHIT THEY CAME IN SWINGING
FUCK THOR CHOPPED OFF HIS ARM DAMN
ASDFKSAJDOFIUA THE STONES ARE GONE
Wait why is Banner still not Hulking out? How is that suit still running?
Damn he destroyed the stones. He knew they’d come.
DAMN THOR WENT IN HARD.
We are like twenty minutes in and Thanos is dead? I… what?
*crumples up and throws away all predictions she had before going into the movie
FIVE YEARS LATER?!?
FIVE
FIVE YEARS
I should have brought a paper bag to breath into.
Okay there’s the support group. Yup a lot of the footage from trailers and stuff is front loaded at the beginning of this. Which is good, because no clue where this is genuinely going.
Did… did a rat just bring Ant-Man back? A rat?
Shit how long has it been for him?
Oh wait, he’s looking for his people maybe not that long.
P-professor Chang?
Can you imagine how disorienting this all is for Scott? Pops out five years after a tragedy like the snap with no idea what the hell is happening.
My sister literally turned to me and said “no trash service but they built a monument?”
Valid question. Very valid. 
OMG CASSIE IS ALL GROWN UP I CAN’T.
I don’t think he fully realized how much time had passed until he saw his daughter.
“You’re so big” just made me tear up a little.
I just had a baby daughter four months ago. So I’m trying not to imagine what it would be like to vanish along with a bunch of other people and then turn back up five years later.
CAROL’S HAIR.
I’m sorry some of this is probably going to be completely incomprehensible unless you’ve seen the movie it just needs venting.
I am liking that they’re all reporting to Nat. That Rocket and Nebula are clearly teamed up.
OMG rocket made a joke about the haircut and Carol called him Fur Face
In case you didn’t know I have a ridiculous love for Rocket so I’m just glad he’s got a support system right now with almost the entirety of his found family dusted.
Capt. Marvel is basically saying she’s out for most of this movie isn’t she? I guess that makes sense she’s OP as hell.
Rhodey is tracking Clint but reluctantly. Clint’s clearly gone off the deepens a bit. Vigilante. Nat isn’t taking it well. Oh no she’s crying. 
This movie is gonna kill me.
I’m trying to imagine seeing a pod of whales in the Hudson River and I can’t imagine it. 
Okay so I’m guessing Scott’s about to turn up covering another major point from the early trailers. Yes yes yes. This is good.
Nat explaining that the Avengers gave her a family and a life and made her feel like she was a better person. Oh girl. You’ve done enough. It’s okay.
HA THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES ARE PRICELESS
Scott doesn’t know science. He’s trying so hard. We need the Science Bros. Where are they?
FIVE HOURS
FIVE FUCKING HOURS?
HE WAS IN FOR FIVE HOURS AND LOST FIVE YEARS????
“Scott, I get e-mails from a raccoon so nothing seems crazy anymore.” LFAO
Tony has a daughter I’m dying. It had to be a little girl. 
Wait is he serious about eating crickets on lettuce? He might be this is semi post-apocalyptic.
Tony does not look happy to see them.
YES LET’S PULL A TIME HEIST. Tony isn’t feeling this but I am.
Oh, Scott, honey. Back to the Future? 
Though Tony your protege Peter used movies to make plans all the time. Maybe it’s not that laughable.
Okay I would die for his daughter. “Mommy sent me out here to save you.” Don’t think you were supposed to just say that outloud kiddo but props on a successful mission.
I know Tony too well for this. He’s saying no, because he loves his family. He needs his family. He’s scared to lose his family.
But now this idea is going to itch at the back of his brain aching to be solved.
Come on Tony lets go back to the future and pull off a time heist.
Hulk in glasses and a sweater is was not even on my theory bingo card what is happening. Is this his diner? They had to find him so he’s clearly not working for Nat right now. I have so many questions.
This whole thing with the kids is awkward. 
Come to think of it I have questions about how the infrastructure that is supporting things like cell phone networks is still functioning after the vanishing. Maybe because it’s been five years.
Is Nat flirting with Banner to get him to help?
Tony looking at a picture of Peter he’s got to try.
OH MY GOD HE GOT IT IN ONE EVENING.
EVEN HE LOOKS SURPRISED.
SHIT! 
I’m glad there is laughter in this movie and it’s not entirely heavy. I mean it’s Marvel I should have known.
He calls his daughter Little Miss. And she just extorted a juice pop out of him. I love Dad Tony. 
This is gonna hurt later I just know it. I can feel it in my gut.
“I love you 3000” My heart.
I’m glad that Tony is just going to have a straight up honest conversation with his wife about this.
He’s grown so much.
Oh Pepper, she’s telling him to do it. There’s some unsaid deep communication happening in this conversation. Bless this pair so much. She’s going to let him go and he’s going to go even though his gut his telling him that the road is not going to end well for him.
That’s why he wants to put it in a lock box and drop it to the bottom of a lake.
This is just so damn good so far. No complaints yet.
I kind of love this Hulk. He has no idea what he’s doing here but I love him. He’s like only half taking this seriously.
BAHAHAHA THIS TEST. HE comes back as a baby and Hulk is like “He’ll grow” I mean he’s not wrong but not the right answer buddy.
Another genuinely funny scene. 
“TIME TRAVEL!” With his hulk arms held wide.
Tony is literally speeding in his car there. Cap doesn’t even look that surprised.
Oh this is the Tony and Steve getting back on the same page moment I’ve been waiting for. I love it. I really love it.
HE BROUGHT THE SHIELD.
I love that it was in the trunk buried under kids stuff.
Tony is back and I love it even if I’m scared it’s gonna mean his end.
“Rhodey, careful on reentry theres an idiot in the landing zone.” As if I couldn’t love Nebula more in this movie.
Wait “New Asgard Please Drive Slowly” just threw me for a total loop. Good to know all the Asgardians didn’t actually die in that ship.
VALKYRIE!!!!
She’s like not acknowledging the Raccoon LMFAO
Holy hell what is happening here. Oh man Thor what have you done to yourself.
Actually, I get it. 
Are they playing Fortnite? 
This whole scene is super surreal right now. 
I actually kinda dig it but I did NOT see it coming. This movie has gone places I never would have predicted.
Thor kept strong for so long. He lost so much. He got all the way to the point where he’d done all he could think. He killed Thanos and there was no way to undo all that could be done so he just settled and existed. He drank and played video games with his buddies.
I get it.
Rocket just lured him onto the ship with beer. 
Was good to see Korg and Miek are alive. And there for them in their own ways.
RONIN ALERT.
Oh dude he’s just fucking people up does he even have a bow with him?
Nat waited until there was some way to undo the snap before reaching out to him. She’s just been silently tracking him waiting for a good reason to bring him in. 
In a matter of seconds Tony calls Thor “Lebowski” and Rocket “Ratchet” and I have always lived for his dumbass nicknames. 
Lebowski Thor is officially what I’m referring to this iteration of Thor.
Oh look a classic time travel trope a limit in the number of trips they can make. Makes sense though, Hank Pym was always very protective of how to make the particles so they only have what was made before the Vanishing.
I love the team debating how time travel really works. Listing all the time travel movies. Bill and Ted even snuck into the list. 
Not sure sending Clint back for the test was the best choice this is gonna be rough.
Okay he started to lose it at the end but he made it.
YES brainstorming session this’ll be fun.
Tony’s gentle handling of Thor says a lot. Tony’s been to rock bottom and recognizes the symptoms. At the same time I laughed when he offered breakfast and Thor said no he wanted a Bloody Mary.
ROCKET CALLING SCOTT AN EXCITED PUPPY BAHAHAHA
Nebula is so dramatic I’m here for it. 
Laying all over the desk brainstorming for Nat to finally figure out that there are three stones in one place at one time. This is the content I came for.
TIME HEIST LETS GO.
And just like that its 2012 this is surreal.
LMFAO HULK DOESN’T WANT TO SMASH.
Interesting seeing what the Ancient One was doing during the battle of New York. On a roof defending the sanctum from Chitauri.
OH SHIT SHE JUST PUSHED BANNER’S SOUL OUTA HIS HULK BODY
I didn’t see that coming.
Just a glimpse of Loki. :-(
It was almost cruel to send Thor to Asgard to do this. I mean someone had to go with Rocket, but damn this is tough to watch.
DAMN Rocket smacked him. And also just called Mantis “the chick with the antenna”. Pep talk’s not bad but Thor is crying I don’t think he can do this.
I don’t know why they want to do it that way anyway, Jane would have taken one look at him and known it was the wrong Thor.
Wait… they’re sending Nat and Clint to Vormir… oh God… oh no…
Okay so that’s going to suck in a few minutes lets just put a pin in that.
Nebula you waited a bit to tell Rhodey that there’s another you out there looking for the same infinity stone you’re there to fetch. 
Oh look its like just barely pre-Guardians Gamora, Nebula, and unfortunately Thanos.
I have a bad feeling about this.
OH SHIT I HAVE A VERY BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.
Turns out two Nebula’s in one place is bad voodoo. She’s seeing video from the other Nebula which means THANOS can see video from the other….
Yeah this is all gonna go bad.
HAHAHA Tony just checked out Steve’s ass. 
AMERICA’S ASS!!!
It’s hard to remember that this shit is going to fall apart when I’m laughing.
Tony just flicked Ant-Man to his target and all I can think about is Gimli an “toss me” from LOTR.
Is Cap about to fuck up a bunch of people in the elevator again?
STEVE YOU SNEAKY BASTARD YOU JUST HAIL HYDRA’D AND STOLE THE SCEPTER.
2012 Time heist is about to hit a hiccup isn’t it. OH MAN they just gave Tony a heart attack.
LOKI NO
I mean yes but no. Loki just nicked the Tesseract and dipped with it. 2012 Loki is just gone.
There’s like timeline repercussions there. Not entirely sure what they are but there will be repercussions.
Cap fighting himself! CAP CHECKING OUT HIS OWN ASS!
Man the Time Heist is so rapid fire there’s too much to absorb.
“I’m totally from the future.” - Lebowski Thor breaking a law of time travel
Thor’s heart to heart with his mom is giving me feels. He needed this.
YES MJOLNIR IS COMING WITH HIM!
Ok it’s never occurred to me how ridiculous Quill would look dancing around without the music. That’s hilarious.
AH SHIT THANOS KNOWS AND HE’S THERE AND THIS IS WHERE IT GOES TO SHIT.
NEBULA </3
It’s so good seeing Steve and Tony back on the same page trusting each other. And clearly completely throwing Scott “Piss-Ant” Lang for a loop. 
I didn’t expect a detour to the 70’s. AAAND that’s his Dad. Tony’s just run into his own father. 
This movie is a roller coaster I’ll tell ya.
This is all mush if you’ve read this far you deserve an award. Or a sticker. One of those.
What a weird decision to have Tony have this whole meet up with his father here. And now Steve is taking refuge in Peggy’s office. Like this is almost mean to do this to these two. 
Why is it the Russo’s never could decide if Steve had gotten over Peggy or not gotten over Peggy. Back and forth and back again. I take it we aren’t going to see the niece at all in this one?
Alright boys lets get the hell out of the 70s this felt like a weird trip without the drugs.
Damn Nebula why is past you such a bitch when I love present you so much. I know I know that’s because you grew and what not but shit I don’t know what you and Thanos are about to do but it’s about to suck.
FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT VORMIR BECAUSE THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON
I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. I don’t want either of them to die. This sucks. No No no no onoanfnaondaksldfj;lasdkja;
God we’re going to have to literally watch them fight over which one is going to sacrifice themself.
Here it is, I’m crying now. Me and Barton are just going to cry here in this puddle if you need us. 
They’re all back, except Nat. Which means that’s the wrong damn Nebula and no one notices because NO NAT. Shit. Shit shit.
This movie is going to give me a heart attack.
“Did she have any family?” “Yeah. Us.” :’-(
Okay Thanos like fucked up a whole mining community and shut down a star afterwards to forge a gauntlet to put the stones in and here’s Tony Stark plopping them into like an Iron Man armor piece like its nothing.
Looks sleek too. I dig it.
And they’re all too busy with the glove to notice fucking Nebula. SHIT. 
Man it’s hurting Hulk just to WEAR the damn thing. Thanos was just strolling around wearing it, which doesn’t bode well considering I see Nebula is bringing Thanos here. 
Cool. That’s cool. This is fine. 
How long of a moment of joy are they going to get. Clint’s wife is calling. Birds are singing. Shit is inches from a fan.
THERE’S THE SHIT. HOLY SHIT HE’S BLOWING AVENGERS HQ COMPLETELY OFF THE MAP NOOOOOOO
There’s like a whole hour left. Tell me they all survived that. I was not ready. I WAS NOT READY.
Oh here’s that shot of Hawkeye in the tunnel. Much later in the movie than a lot of those trailer shots. Fascinating. 
So 2014 Thanos is here with his whole crew and there’s a complete gauntlet here. Shit.
Well, they’re all alive. They’re not together entirely but they’re all alive.
Double wielding dad bod Thor just braided his beard with lightning and I’m here for it.
The stakes are at maximum. Now Thanos wants to destroy it all not just half. So failure here can never be undone there won’t be anyone to Avenge anything if he gets the gauntlet this time. That’s not terrifying at all.
Fuck that’s the wrong Nebula. BUT THERE’S THE RIGHT NEBULA WITH GAMORA.
Clint is like in the middle of this stand off like “wtf is happening I should have kept my hands on the glove”
Nebula just killed her own past self. And she didn’t vanish so no Back to the Future rules here for sure.
Damn Thanos is giving the boys a run for their money even without a single stone. 
Shit is Thor gonna die?
HOLY SHIT CAP HAS THE HAMMER AND THE THEATER JUST MIGHT EXPLODE FROM THE SOUNDS OF THE AUDIENCE SCREAMING ABOUT THIS.
Damnit Thanos is calling in the whole army. Cap is like the last one standing on the front line and he’s not backing down because he’s Captain “America’s Ass” America. Thor is down Iron Man is down. The others are trying not to drown. Shit.
OMG ON YOUR LEFT I JUST MIGHT CRY.
HOLY SHIT ITS EVERYONE I’M CRYING. 
PEPPER FUCKING POTTS IS HERE AS RESCUE HOLY SHIT.
TALK ABOUT THE CALVARY RIDING IN AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND HOLY HELL.
HE’S GONNA FUCKING SAY IT
AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!
It’s a good thing they sound proof these theaters now or you’d hear this across town the audience is going fucking nuts.
There’s too much to touch on all this chaos I’ll hit the highlights because it’s so much.
Pepper and Tony fighting back to back.
Thor and Steve switching weapons, Thor telling him to keep “the little one” aka Mjolnir.
Tony and Peter reuniting and the hug.
Quill seeing Gamora and it’s the wrong Gamora and actually that broke my heart a little bit because his Gamora is gone forever.
Playing hot potato with the gauntlet.
Scarlet Witch fucking Thanos up to the point he panics and starts firing on his own troops to get her off of him.
Spider getting the gauntlet and for the first time ever activating instant kill on purpose.
Peter becoming the hot potato along with the Gauntlet.
OMG ROCKET FOUND GROOT AND HE’S BODILY BLOCKING HIM FROM FIRE MY HEART.
When the ships started firing up my sister elbowed me and legit was like “She’s here.” 
All the women assembling around Captain Marvel!! Even Gamora is with them holy shit!
Damn it the glove is back within his reach and I can’t with this. 
GET HIM CAROL DON’T LET HIM DO IT AGAIN.
She took a headbutt to the face like it was nothing and he panicked like a bitch pulled the power stone and punched her with it. 
OH MY GOD TONY
My sister silently handed me a tissue and I fell the fuck apart.
I never thought in a million years they would have it go this way. Tony snapping. Dusting Thanos and his army. 
I can’t even comment more on this scene I’m too sad. Everything after is too sad. The funeral.
There are infinity stone colored stones in the “proof that Tony Stark has a heart” setting. 
I love you 3000 Tony Stark.
Thor leaving Valkyrie in charge and heading off with the Guardians.
Quill clearly looking for new old Gamora. I doubt she was dusted so she must have just faded away after the battle to do her own thing.
Glad that Nebula is with them though.
I feel a loose beginning set up for the actual Asgardians of the Galaxy.
Bucky said goodbye to Cap like he knew Cap wasn’t going to be back with them in five seconds. He knew.
We’re lucky he didn’t come back as a baby though. ;-)
I mean I’m surprised they went this route with Cap but I’m happy for him.
I’m happy for Sam too. We knew at the end of this the mantel had to get passed and here it is, old man Steve passing the shield to Sam.
I bet that show about “Falcon” and Bucky is really about the new Captain America and Bucky. Just saying.
Steggy shippers rejoice and the cries of a million Stony and Stucky shippers can be heard round the world.
Is that a sentence I just wrote? I never got into MCU shipping stuff personally.
And then all there is at the end is the distant sound of Tony forging that first armor.
A reminder that Tony Stark built all this in a cave.
From a box of scraps.
TONY….
I’ll be mourning Tony for a long while. I was always team Tony.
They did him right tough. His arc was satisfying and RDJ performed beautifully in this one.
My heart aches. They had to give him a daughter. I’m watching my daughter sleep totally not thinking what it would be like for her to lose her father. 
I’m gonna go hug my partner when I’m done with this.
Over all I am happy with Endgame. I mean with time travel they obviously left loose ends all over.
They say they can’t change time and the whole present becoming your past when you go back while the past is your future blah blah blah
But like clearly things are changed. 2012 Loki got the tesseract and escaped
2014 Thanos is no longer in 2014. So the Guardians movies happened but also couldn’t have happened? I dunno it’s confusing.
So basically the MCU has finally caught up with it’s comic book roots of being a confusing jumble timelines. How poetic.
Anyway if you read this you are amazing and feel free to private message me if you want to scream about Avengers Endgame and have no one else to do it with.
I feel better having vented this all out.
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cosmic-hearts · 5 years
Text
fortune cookie | kim seungmin
kim seungmin x reader - best friends to lovers! au genres; fluff, romance, slight angst warnings; mentions of drinking and alcohol
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You will find love soon.
You blink at the small slip of paper in your hands, thinking that out of all the fortune cookie messages you could have received, this had to be the most ironic one.
There was no way you’d be finding love anytime soon.
Not after your boyfriend having just recently mysteriously dumped you with no explanation through a crummy text, no less.
Snorting, you crush the paper into your pocket.
“What did you get?” Your long-suffering best friend, Seungmin, asks.
“Absolute bullshit,” you reply, grabbing the bucket of popcorn from him and stuffing a large fistful into your mouth.
He screeches. “Give that back! I made it myself—,”
“Fortune cookies are so stupid. They’re literally never accurate,” you continue ranting, and Seungmin knows that deep down you’re just bitter about the unfortunate chain of events that led to you lying on his couch, sobbing over sappy romcoms and stealing homemade popcorn from him. He’d bought the packet of darned cookies from a bakery, hoping to cheer you up with a good prediction about your fortune, but it seems like it’s got you even more sulky.
“It’s been a week of lying around and doing literally nothing. It’s time to get back on your feet, find a new boyfriend. Or just stay single. Simple as that.”
You glare at him and he raises his hands in defeat. “Fine. Continue to wallow in self-pity. Rot on my couch. Waste away into oblivion.” Seungmin had never been a very comforting friend—  he was more of the kind who just forced you to get on with life. When you first showed up crying on his doorstep after your breakup, he unsympathetically responded with a “Hmm. Okay. And?”, completely unimpressed. But he did proceed to let you snuggle with him on his couch, hugging you close to him and rewatching Frozen with you, occasionally telling you to just ‘let it go’. You were grateful, since on a normal day Seungmin would literally kick you if you tried to hug him. Definitely not one for skinship, he wasn’t. Though he looked all cute and cuddly on the outside, which was the reason why you wanted to befriend him in the first place when you two first met, he was nothing like it once you got to know him. He was more like the spawn of satan. You felt cheated for sure.
But apart from him continually refusing to respond to your constant advances of affection and mocking your inability to function without at least two coffees a day, he’s been a steadfast, reliable friend who hauls your drunk ass home after parties, tucks you in bed and even comes early the next morning to make hangover soup for you.
If you were being completely honest with yourself, you did wonder, more than once, whether Seungmin had feelings for you. But then he makes some stupid remark about your hair looking like a bird’s nest and you brush aside any possibility of him having more-than-platonic feelings for you. Anyway, he often declared that his ideal type was someone who ‘had their shit together and ain’t a hot mess like you’, so you could confirm that he definitely didn’t see you in a romantic light.
“Anyway, you’re gonna need to clear off tonight,” Seungmin says while clearing his throat awkwardly, looking away from you, as though he was hoping you wouldn’t hear him.
“Why? The guys coming over?”
“Um, no, actually. My chem lab partner Eunji’s coming over tonight to work on a project.”
“Shin Eunji?” Your eyebrows furrow slightly. You had never really interacted with her, but you did catch her glaring at you on more than one occasion when she thought you weren’t looking. What you ever did to offend her, you had no idea.
“Um. Yeah. That’s her,” Seungmin confirms, disposition reeking with discomfort, and that’s when you notice the tips of his ears glowing bright red.
“Why do you look like a five-year-old with a kindergarten crush? Do you like her or something?”
Seungmin doesn’t reply with his usual snarky retort, which simply confirms your suspicions.
“No way, my little Seungminie has a crush on someone! You haven’t had a crush on someone for like, ever. Now I can tell Hyunjin that you’re taken so he’ll stop asking me to set you up with him.”
“I’m not taken. I don’t even know if she likes me,” Seungmin murmurs unconfidently, staring down at his palms.
You roll your eyes, grab his face and squish his cheeks in your palms. “Kim Seungmin, you’re smart, you get good grades, you’re not a thirsty hormonal wreck like most of the other guys on campus, and when you’re not being a rude annoying jackass to me, you can be what some girls like to call ‘cute’. What girl wouldn’t want to date you? If she doesn’t like you she must be blind.”
“Would you want to date me then?” He asks suddenly, countenance serious.
You almost choke on a popcorn kernel. “The heck dude?”
“You said that all girls would want to date me. That includes you.”
You blink at him, taken aback by how forward he’s being. “T-That’s different. I’m not… well, the day I decide to date you would be the day I’ve gone off my rocker for real. I mean, can you imagine us dating? Absolutely ridiculous,” you say, finishing off with an awkward chuckle, wondering why Seungmin’s being so serious. He’s staring straight at you intensely, clearly not joking.
“Okay, then get off my couch,” he says, and you feel relieved that he’s back to being his savage self, but at the same time a teeny bit peeved that he dropped the subject so quickly.  “And get your sports bra off my floor before you leave. I don’t want Eunji to get any ideas.”
Back at home, you wonder if Seungmin really likes Eunji.
Seungmin wasn’t the type to have crushes easily. In fact, it had been so long since he’d last liked someone that you were beginning to think perhaps he was asexual.
You wonder what’s so special about her. Sure, she was pretty, but so were a ton of other girls on campus. As Seungmin likes to say, “Not everyone had bad luck on the genetic lottery like you.” He was affectionate like that.
Though you hated to admit it, you wanted only the best for Seungmin.
And though you hated to admit it, you were scared.
It’d been so long since he’d expressed interest in someone that you were so used to having him around all the time. You were so used to having him all to yourself, as he didn’t have a girlfriend to commit to, and his friends liked you just as much as they liked him (perhaps even more so) so they didn’t mind you joining their hangouts.
But now, perhaps you’d have to start sharing him with someone else who didn’t seem to like you at all.
Your fears come true.
Seungmin starts hanging out with you less and less, and even cancels plans with you. When you ask him if he’s really dating Eunji, he won’t give you a straight answer.
It gets so bad to the point that he takes several hours to reply to your texts, and sometimes he doesn’t even reply.
At school when you gravitate towards him for your usual lunch dates he says that he’s busy working on some lab project and won’t be able to eat lunch with you anymore. You know it’s bull. Seungmin can’t lie to save his life.
He’s surprisingly good at avoiding you. You tried several times to confront him and ask him what the hell is going on but you either can’t find him or he slips away before you can even approach him. A game of chase would seem rather unsightly and inappropriate in the school compound full of watchful, judgemental teenage eyes, and would do nothing for your dignity. So you give up.
His friends aren’t any help either. When you ask Felix what is up with Seungmin, he has the audacity to say that Seungmin’s hamster died. Like Seungmin had a hamster. Jisung bolts every time you try to approach him, and Hyunjin makes up some slippery excuse about Seungmin maybe being a wolf who’s going into heat. You wonder why you bothered asking them in the first place. Though they’ve nothing but nice to you, they were still Seungmin’s friends and ultimately loyal to him.
Sighing, you walk back home in darkness of the night. Usually Seungmin would be there to accompany you, chiding you all the way for staying out so late, and warning you never to walk back home alone without him. You’d thought him annoying then, but the sweetness of the gesture begins to sink in and you realize just how much you miss your best friend.
“Hey!”
You turn around, hoping that it’s Seungmin. Maybe he had come to walk you home after all.
But then you catch sight of the person’s face in the darkness.
“Wooyoung?”
You stand frozen as your ex-boyfriend makes his way towards you, a sheepish yet slightly hopeful smile on his face. You hadn’t forgotten the ruthless way in which he broke up with you, and you give him the most piercing look you can muster. “What. Do. You. Want.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “I’ve been thinking about it, and… I realized it’s not fair to you to just suddenly end things with no explanation. I need to tell you why I broke up with you.”
“Go on,” you say, trying not to let your curiosity show.
“I was cheating on you.”
A week ago, this sentence would have turned you into a sobbing wreck. But now it comes more of a surprise than a nasty shock, and you simply lift your eyebrows. “Well, isn’t that nice to hear.”
“I-I… I’m really sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so stupid-- I wasn’t thinking straight. It was only after your friend Seungmin gave me a piece of his mind that I came to my senses--,” You cut him off. “Wait, Seungmin? What does Seungmin have to do with this?”
“He told me— well, more like demanded me— to give you a proper explanation as to why I broke up with you. No offence, but I never expected a guy as… scrawny as him to be able to pack such a punch.”
Your eyes widen. “He punched you?”
“Yeah. Right smack in the jaw, no less.”
You can’t believe this new tidbit of information. Seungmin was never the violent type, preferring to solve conflicts through calm reasoning and logical argumentation. He certainly isn’t the type to act on impulse either. You tried to imagine level-headed, mild-mannered Seungmin punching Wooyoung. It just doesn’t click.
A new question pops up in your head. “Who were you cheating on me with?”
Wooyoung takes a deep breath and averts his gaze from yours. “Again, I’m really sorry, it was a mistake, does it really matter who she was?”
“Yes, it does. The least you can do is tell me who the lucky girl was,” you fire back, rolling your eyes.
“Fine, fine. It’s Shin Eunji.”
Right at that moment you catch sight of a couple coming to sit on a nearby park bench. The boy’s arm is slung over the girl’s shoulder, and she leans in to peck him on the cheek. Wooyoung suddenly gasps and grabs you by the hand to duck behind a nearby branch.
“What are you doing?” You angrily demand.
“It’s Eunji! Who is she with?” Wooyoung urgently asks.
“Wow, it seems like you care about her a lot—,”
“No, I don’t care about her, but look. Isn’t that Seungmin?” His voice has dropped to a low whisper.
You squint, cursing your myopia. Yet his silhouette is unmistakable.
A jolt shocks through your heart. It is Seungmin. That familiar crown of chocolate brown hair, the watch on his wrist that you gave him for his seventeenth birthday. He never went anywhere without it.
Feeling your vision go blurry with tears, you stand up and Wooyoung grabs your hand roughly, jerking you back down. The rustle of the bushes causes Seungmin to turn his head to check what all the commotion is about.
He sees you standing right there, Wooyoung next to you. He sees your cloudy eyes, the way your shoulders begin to shake every time you’re about to cry.
He sees you run off into the night, Wooyoung calling after you.
He sees it all, and it crushes him.
Unfortunately, you do turn into a sobbing wreck after all.
You can’t figure out which is worse; discovering that your ex cheated on you with the girl your best friend is currently dating, or your best friend acting all heroic by punching your ex and then proceeding to hit it up with the very girl your ex cheated with. Maybe it’s a little bit of everything.
If Seungmin saw the mess you were in now, he would shake his head, call you a lazy slob, and set to work cooking you a decent meal.
Except that Seungmin isn’t here anymore. He’s not here to nag you, chide you, force you back on your feet. He has someone else to do all that for now.
As if the universe thinks that these blows aren’t enough, the doorbell rings, the harsh, jarring sound startling you from your hazy daze of confusion and self-pity. You curse whoever’s at the door, grab a baseball bat just in case it’s Wooyoung, and drag yourself out of bed.
You open the door, revealing a distressed-looking Hyunjin. But he isn’t alone.
Your heart contracts when you see Seungmin under his arm, eyes half-lidded, clearly unable to stand, reeking badly of alcohol.
“What the— is he drunk?” You almost laugh at the sight of an inebriated Seungmin— studious, diligent Seungmin who prided himself on the fact that he doesn’t drink at gatherings and goes to bed at exactly 10pm— drunk. Knocked out completely.
“Yeah,” Hyunjin says. “Sorry about this. We would have dropped him off at home but he wouldn’t stop calling for you. He threatened to throw up in Chan’s car if we drove him home. Naturally, Chan had a fit and detoured right back here. Says that if you’ll be a dear and take him in for the night he’ll do whatever you ask. Sorry. You know how anal Chan gets about his car.” Then Hyunjin lifts his eyebrows, shrugs and looks at Seungmin in a way that seems to say, And anyway Seungmin’s your best friend. So you get full responsibility of taking care of his drunk ass.
You sigh in resignation and Hyunjin takes that a his cue to hand Seungmin over to you. You grab Seungmin by the arms and gently sit him down on the ground while saying goodbye to Hyunjin.
After all, Seungmin did take care of you while you were drunk, when you two were still best friends. You owe it to him to do the same for him at least once, even if he hasn’t been a good best friend lately.
You drag him to the couch, taking off his socks and helping him lie down. There’s no way you’d help him wash up or whatever, so you just grab a nearby blanket and place it over him. Then you get up, ready to retire to your room.
But then you hear a sleepy voice calling your name.
“Don’t go,” Seungmin says with a drunken slur, his hand creeping up to tug at the bottom of your shirt. He looks like he’s having a lot of trouble staying awake.
“You should sleep,” you say flatly, yet making no move to leave. This was the first time Seungmin had called for you in weeks. Not to mention that the way he’s clinging onto you, lips pouty and eyes half-opened like a downcast puppy, makes you want to gather him up in your arms and shower him with cuddles.
“Sleep with me,” he says, holding out his arms like a child begging for a hug. Your heart melts, relishing the sight of a drunk, clingy Seungmin. If you weren’t aching with the prospect of his betrayal, you would have given in immediately.
“No. Go to sleep, Seungmin,” you say firmly.
He pouts. “Are you angry with me?”
You sigh, having neither the mood nor the energy for confrontation now. “We can talk tomorrow morning, Seungmin. Just go to sleep.”
Suddenly, Seungmin grabs your wrist and yanks you down so that you’re lying on top of him on the sofa. He then moves so that you’re nestled by his side, before proceeding to wrap his arms around your waist and bury his face in your hair.
“Hmm… I missed you so much,” Seungmin says, and you can’t help but note that the lazy slur is gone from his voice. You mumble into his chest, “Are you really drunk?”
He simply pulls you closer in response, as if afraid that you’ll leave if he says that he isn’t drunk. “I don’t know, am I?”
“Well, I mean, you’re hugging me right now. I’d say that’s a definite sign of intoxication, considering how you always threaten to kick me if I hug you. But you’re not slurring anymore, which is weird—,”
“Stop rambling. It’s cute, but stop.”
“If it’s cute, then why should I stop? And who are you tell me what—,”
“If you keep on being so cute I might kiss you.”
You stop talking then, as the weight of his words dawn on you.
Kim Seungmin just threatened to kiss you.
“Do you not want me to kiss you that badly?” Seungmin asks quietly.
You look up at him then, only to see him staring down at you with a ferocity that wouldn’t have been possible with inebriation. Kim Seungmin, the cunning trickster. He never was drunk.
“Seungmin… what is going on?”
Seungmin sighs and runs a hand through your hair, his other hand caressing your cheek softly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Done what?”
“Fallen in love with you.”
You don’t know what to say. You don’t know how to feel. His confession doesn’t fill you with the heart-fluttering excitement you’d anticipated, but instead dark moths of confusion flit around in the pit of your stomach.
“But you’re dating Shin Eunji. The same girl my ex cheated on me with. You can’t just betray me like that and then say you’ve fallen in love with me, Kim Seungmin. It’s not fair. It doesn’t make sense.”
“I broke up with her. I never liked her,” Seungmin says softly, “I only dated her to try and get her off Wooyoung’s back. Then maybe… maybe he’d go back to you and you’d be happy again,” Seungmin says uncertainly, as if finally realizing the stupidity of his actions.
You can’t believe your ears. You don’t know whether you should chastise Seungmin for his idiocy or feel touched that he’d sacrificed his happiness for yours. You sit up on the couch and he does the same.
“I know you wouldn’t be happy with me. So what if I liked you? You’d never like me back.”
“How would you know?”
“Would you want to date me then?” He asks suddenly, countenance serious.
You almost choke on a popcorn kernel. “The heck dude?”
“You said that all girls would want to date me. That includes you.”
You blink at him, taken aback by how forward he’s being. “T-That’s different. I’m not… well, the day I decide to date you would be the day I’ve gone off my rocker for real. I mean, can you imagine us dating? Absolutely ridiculous,” you say, finishing off with an awkward chuckle, wondering why Seungmin’s being so serious. He’s staring straight at you intensely, clearly not joking.
“God, Seungmin, how was I supposed to know that you liked me? You kept saying I was miles away from your ideal type!”
“So you like me then?”
“I don’t know, all I know is that I never thought you could be so incredibly stupid— for god’s sake, Seungmin, if you liked me you could have just said it and saved us all of this bullshit—,”
That is when Seungmin kisses you, and he tastes of beer and hesitance, he tastes bittersweet. He pulls away quickly, and it shuts you up completely.
“I said I’d kiss you if you continued rambling.”
But when he sees how stunned you are, the flush in your cheeks and the shock in your eyes, guilt settles within him. “Shit, that was a mistake, I’m so sorry—,”
“K-Kiss me again.”
“What?”
“It wasn’t a mistake. Kiss me again.”
Something changes in Seungmin’s eyes. Swallowing the rest of his inhibitions down his throat, he places a careful hand on the back of your neck, drawing you closer to him. Angling his head slightly, he gently presses his lips to yours for only a few seconds, yet those few seconds stretch out into what feels like an eternity to you. This time, the only thing you notice are that his lips are soft and warm, and you feel a certain sweetness erupting within your taste buds.
Then he pulls away, his hot breath hitting your lips.
“So I heard you punched Wooyoung.” Seungmin groans. “Why did you have to ruin the moment?”
“Thank you. For standing up for me,” you say sincerely, leaning forward to give him a peck on the lips, before continuing, “Maybe fortune cookies aren’t absolute bullshit after all.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I said you’re an idiot. And I’ve finally gone off my rocker. Now go to sleep.”
Seungmin happily hugs you close to him, his eyes fluttering shut, relishing the feeling of having you by his side. He’d tried to reject skinship from you for the longest time, thinking that maybe it would help him forget his feelings for you, but it merely fuelled his longing to hold you in his arms. You snuggle closer to him, burying your face in his chest as you bask in his tender warmth.
It’s the fortune cookie, you think to yourself, drifting off to sleep as he holds you tightly in his arms, heart full with the knowledge that his feelings are finally being reciprocated.
a/n; hi there! i managed to upload the full story in one post so there you go! i’ll delete the first two parts soon :)
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vincent-marie · 6 years
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A Look Back on TREASURE PLANET
So recently I rewatched TREASURE PLANET for the first time in about fifteen years and… I'm not gonna lie, it's still my personal favorite of the 2D Disney animated features from the early to mid-2000s.
Let's be real. Of the 2D features Disney released around that time period, TREASURE PLANET is one of the more solid films. ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE had some interesting ideas and some really nice design work and animation, but it really needed to be at least two hours long if it wanted to flesh out the characters and the world-building without requiring supplementary material (like a special edition of Disney Adventure magazine). Hardly anybody remembers BROTHER BEAR was even a thing, and the less said about HOME ON THE RANGE, the better. (Seriously, that movie wasn't even worth the Steve Buscemi cameo.)
The only other film of that era that has really held up was LILO AND STITCH, and I'll admit it's probably a better film than TREASURE PLANET. It took more risks in terms of character, setting and originality, and emotionally it leaves more of an impact. (That scene when Nani sings to Lilo makes me cry like a baby every time.) My only problem with it is it always felt like two entirely different movies collided with each other and it never felt like they really meshed well. Otherwise, I agree with most fans that it’s a good film.
Also, of course, there was the excellent THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE, which was just such a huge departure from Disney’s normal schtick and trying something more Tex Avery-esque, only for it to be a perfect storm instead of a total crash and burn. That is much to be proud of.
Going back to TREASURE PLANET, I can understand that most folks walk away saying it’s an "okay" film. I, however, am not one of those people. I've had a real soft spot for this movie ever since I saw it, but now I appreciate this film for additional reasons.
Namely, the animation and effects work. Holy crap, is this movie gorgeous! It's like watching Don Bluth's ANASTASIA, except I don't have to feel guilty about historical inaccuracies. (Now it’s just scientific inaccuracies, but STAR WARS gets away with that all the time.)
Directors John Musker and Ron Clements had apparently wanted to do a sci-fi retelling of "Treasure Island" since before they started working on THE LITTLE MERMAID. With that in mind I do feel like this movie would have fared better with critics back in the early 90s during the Disney Renaissance. However at that time they would not have had such elaborate and detailed CG effects within arm's reach. There's something I really enjoy about the use of 3D backdrops so that they may do sweeping camera movements, and that's not even getting into the lighting effects to establish atmosphere.
What's more, there are a lot of subtleties to the character animation that I never appreciated until now. You could just pick one character and focus on him or her during the whole movie and find a lot of fun little quirks in their dialogue or walk cycles.
Admittedly, much of this film’s appeal probably depends on how much of an animation fan you are. In my case I was watching John Silver’s animation and I suspected that Glen Keane was probably in charge of animating him (as there are moments when Silver looks so much like Ratigan). Those suspicions were confirmed during the end credits and I was delightfully geeking out about it.
It’s also easy to see where this film might not have had a lot of mass appeal. Most of the focus on the story is on Jim Hawkins and his daddy issues, which by the early 2000s was already a cliche of a character arc. And it’s not helped by the fact that Jim himself is... well, kind of on the bland side as a protagonist. There’s not a lot about him that makes him any more or less interesting than any other teenage male lead. But for what it is I think the movie did fine at establishing and building the relationship between Jim and Silver, which does have its warm and comforting moments. For both of them.
And at least the film is straightforward with its plot and characters and it’s not a structural mess like HERCULES, a previous venture by Musker and Clements.
Something I’ve noticed over the years is that TREASURE PLANET has a little bit of a cult following. I distinctly remember this one time when I was taking a storyboard class in college; we were assigned to do a “Master Study” assignment by recreating the key story frames in our favorite scene in a favorite animated movie. One of my classmates picked the scene when Jim is brought home to the inn by the police and embarrasses his mother. I recall being so impressed, and even a little envious, that she got the character design style down to a T. (If you’re wondering what movie/scene I picked for my Master Study, I picked the Big Ben scene from THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE.)
Then, of course, some friends and I suspect that TREASURE PLANET might have fared better if it had been released a bit later, more towards the height of the Steampunk craze. It’s not quite what I would call “Steampunk”, as it takes place in a sort of alternate universe version of the 18th century and not the Gothic era, and most of their transport is solar-powered and not steam-based. Nevertheless it’s easy to see how fans of Steampunk could find it appealing, with its mostly earth-tone color pallet to evoke the painted illustrations of the classic novel it was based on. Also that combination of a pre-20th century aesthetic with out-of-this-world science fiction elements is pretty much, in my opinion, what makes Steampunk so much fun to play around with. Also, a robot made out of copper. End of story.
In terms of why this film didn’t do so well when it was released, I suspect what stunted its success was the marketing. I could be wrong, as I was actually living in Honduras at the time of the film’s release, but we got some TV stations from Denver, Colorado. I remember a lot of the TV spots spent most of their time highlighting the goofy comic relief moments with Morph, and there was a real emphasis on the presence of B.E.N., even though he's in less than one-third of the movie. In other words, the film's success might have been partially sabotaged by a marketing team that seemed to think if you don’t take your film seriously at all that will somehow draw in the crowd.
Although speaking of the comic relief characters, I actually don’t mind them that much. I always thought Morph had a lot of cute, funny moments that weren’t too obnoxious. As for B.E.N., I kind of have mixed feelings for him. On one hand, the directing team made better use of Martin Short’s improvisational skills than PEBBLE AND THE PENGUIN or WE’RE BACK! ever did. But on the other hand, does B.E.N. have to be so loud and shouty? However, while B.E.N. is a real screw-up, he’s not so much to the point where I want to see him get smashed with a sledgehammer. He’s generally likable, not at all loathsome, and just annoying enough, but not TOO annoying.
However while we’re still on the subject of B.E.N., I’d just like to add that the CG animation on him is really nice. Making him 3D gives him a sort of sense of solidity compared to his hand-drawn humanoid compadres, and to top it off his animation isn’t at all stiff or feels like the CG is holding him back. There is some really expressive squashing and stretching going on with his dialogue. It’s so subtle in places that you’d probably miss it if you’re not looking for it. A lot of CG animation studios at the time like Pixar and Dreamworks had not quite mastered squashing and stretching themselves, so kudos to Disney for pulling it off so well.
Now if I may indulge a little on why I remember this film fondly, my favorite characters were always Dr. Doppler and Captain Amelia. They are both fun and engaging on their own, but together they are weirdly adorable. Granted, I've always thought them getting together at the end was a bit rushed, but I still totally buy it.
(What I don't buy is that they'd be so eager to have kids after Doppler showed such annoyance and revulsion towards that toddler alien girl at the beginning. I get that the creators wanted some visual shorthand to indicate that they're an official couple, but they could have just been wearing wedding rings or throw in a little more of them dancing together.)
Part of the reason I love these characters on their own is the casting. I was already familiar with Emma Thompson from Ang Lee's adaptation of SENSE AND SENSIBILITY, and her character of Eleanor Dashwood was very quiet and reserved. You can imagine my disbelief and delight hearing her play an assertive, witty badass as Amelia. (As if I didn't already think Amelia’s design was cool.)
As for David Hyde Pierce, I had only occasionally watched FRASIER growing up, but when I saw this movie I was familiar with him through some other memorable voice acting roles, particularly that excellent Season 8 episode of THE SIMPSONS, “Brother From Another Series.” In other words, I already knew him to be funny, snarky and charismatic.
While I'm on about the casting, I feel like there's a totally wasted opportunity to have these two characters in a room together, say, before the black hole scene, exchanging witty banter to show how compatible they are in a casual setting. It’s a shame that Emma and David didn’t record their dialogue together, because with her being an accomplished writer and with his skills at improvisation, there could have been some good verbal combat by way of “Much Ado About Nothing-Meets-Frasier.”
But looking back, I remember I immediately loved Captain Amelia just on principal. As a kid I never really gravitated that much to any of the Disney princesses. I can’t really describe why, but it was mostly how they were marketed as just looking pretty and (arguably) kind of passive in their own stories. Not to mention how when Disney Princess became a brand, they really amped up the girly cutesy-ness to their preexisting images. Not to say there’s anything inherently wrong with cute or feminine things, but it really made me feel like a weirdo who somehow wasn’t fit to be called a girl.
Captain Amelia, on the other hand, had her own style of femininity by wearing a classy, more masculine captain’s uniform along with thigh-high high-heeled boots (that she has no problem running in). She had a no-nonsense attitude, she was focused and cool-headed in a stressful situation, she was downright snarky and took crap from no one. In other words, she was the type of woman I wanted to be when I grew up, and to this day she is my favorite Disney Lady, bar none.
And while I’m at it, I’m just going to add that I’ve always found Dr. Doppler more attractive than your standard Disney prince. Besides his character design looking like a canine version of Roger from 101 DALMATIONS, he just always seemed like he’d be fun to get a coffee with.
Well, that’s about all I really want to talk about regarding TREASURE PLANET. It’s a shame it’s not remembered by more people as it does have some really good elements to it, but in some regards I can kind of see why it wasn’t a huge critical success. If you haven’t seen it already I recommend checking it out as it’s a pretty solid standalone film that doesn’t need supplementary material and covers all the bases with the plot and some fun character moments here and there. If you’re an animation fan I cannot stress enough how you really need to watch it, or even rewatch it, because, again, the animation and effects work is just a real feast for the eyes.
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modernsuperhero · 6 years
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A Fleeting Phantom Feeling Part 2
Part 1 https://depressed--and--underdressed.tumblr.com/post/174035673671/a-fleeting-phantom-feeling-part-1
LAMP Soulmate AU
TW:  major character death, implied self harm, implied suicide, tragedy, heartbreak, minor injury, sympathetic Deceit
Roman dropped out of the play. His physician told his parents to take him out of school, so they did. Hanahaki was nothing to be trifled with. He had weekly appointments with both the doctor and the therapist to make sure he’d pull through. He was lucky he still had at least one other soulmate, as the flowers showed, so they doubted the hanahaki would persist for long. However, the psychological effects could be disastrous. His therapist instructed his parents to never leave him alone with anything he could hurt himself with, and to make sure he wasn’t overstimulated.
He ended up spending a month on the couch, eating popsicles and binge rewatching musical bootlegs. Eventually, he stopped having to run to the bathroom and cough up flowers every few minutes, but he barely noticed. He just felt tired.
Roman’s friend Remy came to visit at one point. He’d heard what had happened through the gossip grapevine despite Roman’s inactivity on his social media, which was how they usually kept touch.
“Hey, girl.” Remy seemed uncomfortable as he stepped into the room. Roman barely nodded in recognition, vaguely aware that Remy’s discomfort may have stemmed in Roman’s uncharacteristically disheveled appearance. He hadn’t showered in days, and he was only wearing pajama pants, curled up in a pile of pillows as Heathers played on the screen.
“Sup,” Roman croaked. His throat was hoarse.
“I heard you haven’t been outside in a while.” Remy hesitantly sat on the couch next to Roman, adjusting his sunglasses hesitantly.
Roman laughed. It sounded fake.
“There’s this concert in town,” Remy started, “it’s pretty cheap, it’s, like, for some charity-”
“I’m not supposed to be overstimulated.” Roman cut him off, smiling wistfully. “Doctor’s orders. Don’t think a rock concert is gonna be the best idea.”
“It’s not that kind of concert. It’s this orchestra from some other county’s school. Apparently they won this national contest or something - but it’s not gonna be like a whole crowd of people dancing and screaming. I just thought it would be good for you to get some fresh air.” Remy shrugged, and Roman caught wind of Remy’s genuine concern that he tried so hard to mask behind his cool guy persona.
Roman sighed. “Get my parents to sign off on it, and I’ll go.”
Roman wasn’t sure how he was supposed to look for this kind of thing, so he cleaned himself up and picked out an outfit he figured was “business casual.” He was surprised at how much lighter he felt after a long shower. He started humming Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo as he picked up his things and checked that his phone was charged. He paused when he heard his mother gasp in the other room.
“He’s humming, darling, he’s humming again!” Her whispers were filled with tearful joy as she choked on her own words.
Roman stopped and looked down at himself. His own eyes watered and he smiled. Maybe he would be okay.
The ride to the concert was surprisingly... normal. Remy and a few of their other friends - who Roman didn’t know were even into this kind of thing or maybe they weren’t, maybe they were only there for him - gossiped about the new store in the mall, about the latest celebrity scandals and the new revival of Be More Chill. Remy pulled over the car at a little kid’s lemonade stand and every single one of them bought a cup. Roman caught himself strangely fixated on the cluster of bouvardia on the child’s elbows. Soulmate. Remy noticed his staring and lead him gently back into the car.
The auditorium was full of older people and what was probably the kids’ parents. They were the only teens in the audience, and received more than a few suspicious and judgemental stares. Remy managed to squeeze them all into the third row, and the group waited anxiously for it to start.
The curtains pulled open, and the conductor said a few words that Roman tuned out. He liked the dimness of the lights and the comfortable chairs. He loved how it all reminded him of a play theater. The performance arts weren’t all that different, he supposed, at least in setting. And as the big Shake-itty-speare man himself said, the world was a stage itself, was it not?
Roman glanced at the pamphlet and saw the first song’s name: Isle of Calypso. It sounded interesting enough. The conductor finally finished speaking and turned around. The first few measures drew Roman in instantly. He felt like he was on a beach, lonely and deserted.
And then a sound broke through. The song of someone else - a companion in his loneliness. The single violin pierced Roman’s skin like a million needles and he could feel his heart stutter in its rhythm. Roman looked up at the violinist himself and was even more awed.
The boy couldn’t have been more than a year older than Roman. His dark hair was slicked back and his eyes were closed behind his glasses. He had this memorized. His face was blank, but the light illuminated his jawline in a way that made Roman gape in amazement. The raw emotion poured into just one instrument seemed to powerful to contain. It ricocheted throughout the room. More than one person was crying. Then the solo ended and the song grew and swayed like the wind pushing an untethered island around a mysterious ocean, to be found once and never again. Roman, though, only watched that one violinist. He could feel his entire body pound every time the boy moved, bowed, danced this magical dance-
And then the song was over.
The concert was an hour long, with a five-minute intermission in between. Remy managed to drag Roman out into the lobby to buy some snacks, chattering the whole time about how old and crazy the conductor looked.
Roman was in a daze, just nodding and agreeing to everything Remy said. Then, he noticed something in the reflection of Remy’s sunglasses.
The boy working the drink booth had a scar on the skin around his left eye. It was pretty noticeable, but Remy and he hadn’t gotten to the drink booth yet. Without even realizing what he was doing, Roman tugged Remy’s sleeve and pointed wordlessly at the boy in the booth.
Finding your soulmate was usually an accident. It also, generally, involved some type of injury. Lots of people became doctors with the sole purpose of increasing their chances of meeting their soulmate. Others were afraid of meeting their soulmate - either they were afraid of the supposed injury, or in some cases, of being ridiculed for how they found each other. Society was cruel like that, and terribly contradictory. Roman had known Remy for years. Remy was the kind of person who was afraid.
Roman remembered vividly the day Remy first removed his sunglasses in front of him, revealing the orange mocks around his left eye. He said they’d been there since the fourth grade and had never gone away.
‘They… whoever they are, they have a scar. They probably get made fun of for it. I don’t want to… to draw attention to something they don’t like.’ It was the only time Remy had ever let his facade down.
‘How are you gonna tell them when you find them without drawing attention to it?’ Roman had asked.
‘I think I’m probably gonna try to take them aside - talk with them in private, you know?’
And that’s what Remy did.
Roman watched Remy walk nervously up to the boy at the booth. He couldn’t hear what they said, but he saw the way the boy’s eyebrow was raised questioningly as Remy led him to the hallway around the corner. The announcement came over the intercom that intermission was ending, and Roman went back to his seat alone. Remy didn’t come back.
Roman felt bitter. Then, he felt angry at himself for feeling bitter. Remy was only ever nice to him; he deserved his own happy ending. He thought of the oleander, Christmas roses, white heather flowers. A new song started and the violinist boy began to play. Roman’s heart began to soar again, but in the back of his mind Roman wondered - where was his happy ending?
When the concert ended, Roman headed out with Remy’s his friends back out to the lobby. Roman was only mildly surprised to see Remy waiting there. He was holding hands with the boy from before, and they were both smiling like giddy children. Good for them.
Their friends instantly starting peppering them with questions. Many of the people in the crowd - apparently everyone was listening in, those eavesdroppers - gasped when Remy took off his sunglasses and showed them how his flowers matched the boy’s scar perfectly. They matched each other perfectly. Apparently the boy’s name was Dee-something? Roman wasn’t really listening. His blood was boiling under his skin and it was all he could do to keep himself under control. He turned around and wormed his way through the crowd to the back door.
He closed it behind him, gulping in panicked breaths. His vision was blurring and his heart pounded in his chest. Everything seemed like it was too much, all at once. He tripped over something and fell all the way down. He heard someone’s footsteps.
“Are you alright?” The someone wrapped their arms around Roman and pulled him to his feet, holding him steady by gripping his shoulders. Their voice resounded in Roman’s brain, anchoring him back in reality. It was a soothing voice, really. It was soft but stern, concerned but assertive.
The blurriness faded and Roman looked up. It was the boy - not Dee-something, but the violinist. His lips were pinched together like - like he cared. He repeated his question.
“Are you alright? Do you need me to call someone?”
“I’m - ah, s-sorry. Fine. I’m fine.” Roman shakily pulled himself away.
“Are you sure?” The boy adjusted his glasses and Roman swore he felt his heart flutter. Then he remembered the oleander, Christmas roses, white heather flowers. What right had he to fall in love with someone when one of his soulmates was dead?
“Yeah.” Roman turned away and shoved his hands into his pockets, then immediately removed them when they began to sting. His palms were bloody from his fall, and he cursed himself for his stupidity.
“Wait.” The boy called. Something was different. Roman turned around.
“Let me see your hands?” He asked. Roman blinked and held them out. The boy’s expression was difficult to read as he held out his own hands. In the same places where Roman was scraped up, little jonquils were sprouting up on the violinist’s palms. Roman’s entire body froze, heavy like cement. Neither moved for a solid minute.
Finally, the boy spoke, retracting his shaking hands. “My name is Logan.”
“R-Roman.” He felt winded. His head kind of hurt, but he wasn’t focused on that at the moment.
Logan looked at the ground for a minute.
“M-May I ask, but, a little over a month ago… well,” he didn’t seem like he could get the words out.
“It wasn’t me,” Roman managed. “Who-whoever that was, they’re… gone, now.”
Logan swallowed and looked back up at Roman. “I suppose we have some catching up to do.”
Roman felt himself smile, really smile. He could still have a happy ending.
“Yeah, I guess we do. I’m lactose intolerant; how do slushies sound?”
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