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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 4 years

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Best Friend Pact- Part 4: But Never Forgot They Are Human

Calum attempts to drink the sadness away one night at a party, but his friend, Neveah, doesn’t let him completely. And in their stalled journey off sobriety, they make a secret pact. Black!OC.

CW: Over the course of this series, there are mentions of pregnancy, birth, death, and death related trauma. Please skip as necessary.

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Three days, Neveah's been home three days. But it feels longer. It's just exhaustion and some worrying messing with her sense of time. Joy's a big help, sparing her an extra hour of sleep here and there when she can. However, her nipples are still sore. Her intestines still feel like they could fall out of her at any point, which at this point, they are. Almost. The doctor called it lochia, a fancy way of saying that her body is still getting rid of leftover tissue and blood from the placenta detaching itself from the uterine wall. Not that she didn't drop nearly all of her uterus in the delivery room. What more could be left?

But what really throws her off, including the fact that even at the slight cry of Ettie her body wants to expel milk, is that both her and Ettie came home in diapers. She thought maybe the discharge would only last a few days, but she was very wrong. Months of tissue cannot be expelled in one week. It's starting to taper off from such a heavy flow, but it's still a pain. Every time Neveah moves positions, she's reminded that her body has taken the hardest hit it's designed to take and keep going. Parts of her are sore that she never knew could be so sore before. It'll be a month before her body gets itself together. While that's not comforting, she can be patient with herself.

Ettie settles down on Calum's bare chest, after feeding and Neveah reclines into the couch, exhaling. That's when she remembers she out to change her own diaper of sorts. "This is embarrassing," she huffs, finally pushing herself up. "My body's crumbling from the inside out."

With his foot, Calum taps her leg before she passes by him completely. "It's gonna be okay."

She smiles. He can see how tired she is. He is too. Even with his parents around, he wants to be there for everything. He has to be, to make even a dent in the guilt for missing so much before. She backtracks, brushing her lips over his forehead, then down his to his cheeks. Her breath ghosts over his lips before she kisses them too. "Thanks. Rest. She'll be up before long."

God, his gut still twists at the feeling of her lips on his. She disappears down the hallway. "My son, what are you doing?" she laughs as Duke trots along beside her. "I'm okay, boy. I'm okay."

Calum runs his fingers over Ettie's back. "Daddy loves you. You know that?" He keeps saying it, the phrase falling over his lips like a prayer. But he truly means it. He loves her so much. It's almost how unreal how fast he fell for his little girl. God, he'd do anything for her, go through any lengths for her. His ladybug, his star guiding him now. A small whine falls from her lips and he wraps his hand gently around her. "I'm right here, baby girl."

The noise quiets at the warm touch. The lower half the sofa dips. His mother sitting at his feet now, phone trained on him. "Don't look at me," she reprimands. "I'm not here."

"What are you doing?"

"A grandmother's duty. Getting all the pictures and videos that I can."

Calum chuckles, directing his gaze back to the sleepy baby. "Nanna's going to have album's full of your baby pictures. Get ready."

Joy pats his knee. "Just remember you're human too, son." A reminder that he has to take care of himself too in order to take care of Ettie. A reminder that he does, in fact, have so much time with his daughter, an entire lifetime. But guilt is a heavy mongrel. He is ruthless on Calum's soul some nights.

Calum hears his phone buzzing against the coffee table. He doesn't have to answer. But Ashton has been calling once a day just for a niece update. They'll introduce Ettie to the rest of the boys within the next week or so. Right now, they're just trying to get any sort of a routine. So Calum usually always answers. Just as he starts to stretch himself out, shimming just ever so slightly, another hand grabs his phone first. Neveah answers, smiling at the screen. "We haven't died yet," she answers.

"How you two holdin' up?" Ashton asks.

She looks to Calum, his eyes slowly closing. She knew he'd never make it too long laying on the couch like that. The sight makes her body warm. She flips the camera around. "We're doing alright. I think Ettie has him down for the count though. He can't even tap out."

"God, she's the cutest thing ever. She rivals Calum now."

"He did make her. The Hood genes are strong. All thanks to Momma Joy."

"I try," Joy laughs.

Another voice floats in from the phone. "She's so precious. You sure we can't see her sooner?" It's Michael's voice. Neveah wishes they could meet Ettie sooner. She would them too. But she needs more time to become human again herself. "I found the cutest little socks the other day. I know she'll lose them in like three seconds, but they've got little ducks on them and I just couldn't not get them."

The boys talk about themselves, Luke huffing in the background about not seeing his niece. But she starts to tune that out the longer she stares at the sight in front of her. Calum's chest rises and falls steadily, hand still placed on Ettie's back. She's a goner. This is her family. Unconventional in some ways for sure. But it's hers. Was this all Calum wanted? Was he just as elated as her? Was this what he needed?

The call ends and she settles into the one person seat next to Calum, gently running her fingernails through his hair. His face is utterly relaxed in his sleep, brows never furrowed, lips never pursed. She finds her phone, snapping a picture of her, Calum, and Ettie. Opening Instagram is a mistake. She already knows the comments are flooded with snarky remarks. Some are sweet and encouraging. Neveah knows if she posts this picture, even as a story, the world is going explode. But this is her family, this is her moment. The quiet moments....World Meet Ettie; Ettie Meet World.

"What if I drop her?" are the first words out of Ashton's mouth two weeks later. He and the rest of the boys finally have the opportunity to come and meet Ettie. They know they won't be staying for long, but it's about time.

Calum shakes his head. "You won't. Promise. I had the same fear."

Ashton holds his arms out, tensing as Calum slides the tiny body fully into his hold. He keeps the head supported, a bright smile taking over his face. He had always seen himself as the first to have kids. But Calum beat him to the punch. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe Ashton needed not to worry about anyone but himself for just a little bit longer. Being a second parent to his siblings was enough the first time. He can have a niece, someone to love, but ultimately does not have to raise. "You're gonna be so spoiled, Ettie," he chuckles, rocking her gently.

"She's got so much hair. I'm jealous!" Luke laughs, ever so gently brushing his fingertips over the top of her head. They talk to Ettie's sleeping figure in soft voices, introducing themselves, stating promises to always be there. Calum knows those words aren't empty either. He knows that they will do their damnedest to be there. He knows they're all human too, they're all bound to make mistakes. But there is no mistake in the effort.

The day is still young but to them, having seen the rising of the sun, it feels like they should be at the end. Calum, as they're paused in the line at the street vendor's stand, wraps his arm around Neveah's shoulders, playfully pushing at her cheeks. She puffs her cheeks out in retaliation, making him exert more effort. His chest rumbles with the soft laugh and drops the poking. "You're no fun," he teases.

"I'm plenty of fun." Her voice is a little soft. He hates the way she sounds. Her dad called earlier and told them not to come by to visit today. Another bad day. They happen so much more frequently. She still went and has been down ever since. He watches her clutch the amethyst gem around her neck. "Something just feels off," she whispers as they shuffle up in line.

"Off how?"

"Not good. I just have a bad feeling about something. It's been just...too many bad days in a row. You know?"

Calum pulls them out of the line, to some benches nearby. He doesn't like the way she's talking, so definite about things truly unknown. Sure death is inevitable, but it doesn't always come in one final sweep. Things can turn around before it goes bad. Calum turns the stroller towards him, keeping one hand on Ettie's tummy, the other resting on Neveah's knee. "Hey, I know it's hard. But you've gotta stay positive. Besides, things were looking up. She might turn around." Two months actually. Two months of her mother doing better. Though recently it has gone on a downward spiral.

She doesn't blink rapidly; there's a distinct lack of a lower lip wobble. She's sad for sure. She knows when she actually hears that her mother is gone. But something sits in her gut like the period of a sentence. It's final, no questioning, no taking it back. Her mother is going to die. Calum notes her silence, the faraway glaze to her eyes. "No, stay with me," he urges, pulling her face to look at him. "She's going to pull through."

"I just know," she whispers. Before her mother had her to fight for, her brother to see graduate. Her only goal this time around was to meet Ettie and that's done now. The only thing her mother would be clinging onto at this point is the pain.

The thought hurts him much more than her. Maybe it's because he's reminded of his mother's own mortality. No one lives forever. It's just a terrible thing to see them go so soon, in such a horrible and painful too. He opens his mouth to speak, to combat her knowing with his own. But there are no words. There is nothing he can tell her. The truth is the truth. He pulls her into his chest, wrapping his arm tight around her shoulders. "I'm here. I'm always here," he whispers into her hair. That is something he can promise, something that is also the truth.

"I love you, Calum." The confession is soft from her lips, but he hears it. He catches onto every syllable. Her breathe tickles his neck a little as she speaks.

"I love you," he returns. There's no hesitation in the phrase. He always thought he'd be terrified to tell that to anyone, to feel this deeply for anyone. But not to her. The truth is so much easier with her. He remembers the house party when he was feeling like everything was taken from him when he felt like he had nothing left. Now he has everything.

The next day, they go back to the hospital. Her mother tries to tell them they should've have wasted the gas. That's she's in the same old shape. But anyone that saw her mother yesterday and then say her today knows the truth is very much different. They don't stay long. Her mother yawns every few seconds, clear that her body is tired. Neveah hugs her mother tight to her body, now the tears are threatening to run down her cheeks. She can see the pain. "Rest, Momma. Let go. Don't hold on for us. Let go for you. I love you. Forever and always."

"Forever and always."

When her phone rings a couple of days later while eating lunch, Neveah doesn't reach for it immediately, busy with a grabby Ettie. Calum reaches across the table, taking the baby. "What do you see, Ladybug? What's got your attention?"

Her phone in one hand, she pauses watching Calum chat away to the baby. She remembers one of their running-on-four-hours-of-sleep-and-Ettie-has-finally-settled-for-a-nap conversations. He mentioned how he finally had something to pour into that poured back into him. That thanks to her and Ettie he didn't always feel like he was running on fumes and just getting by. Even though they were running on fumes. Having a baby is stressful. They carried the huge responsibility of such a tiny life, but there's something rewarding watching her discover the world around her. There is nothing selfish in her awe, just a pure wonder.

Having a baby didn't replace all the negatives in the world. It didn't magically erase all the insecurities and fears that Calum has. What it did was give him something to better himself for, it gave him something else for which to live. "You're going to miss that call," Calum notes, finally getting Ettie to release her grip on his necklaces. The grip of a baby is nothing to play with they found out when Ettie almost ripped out one Neveah's earrings from her earlobe.

She rolls her eyes, but steps away from the table, unlocking the phone and pressing it to her to ear. Calum gently pulls at Ettie's hands again, to let go of the chains again and to keep it out of her mouth. "No, let go, Ettie." He gets her grip free again. "When you're older, I'll get you one, okay? Pinky promise. Just no eating it."

He grabs the small cup of fruit puree, scoping some onto the spoon. She reaches out for the spoon. "Soon I'll give you control of the spoon, baby girl," he laughs, finally getting her to take the spoonful. "How did you, you know what, it doesn't matter," he sighs, wiping some of her food out of her hair. Things get everywhere with her. He's not shocked anymore by the fact. He gets the last of her small cup full onto the spoon.

Ettie turns her head, intrigued by the silver fork on his plate. "One more spoonful, baby," he says, going in for a second attempt. She whines in his hold, reaching out for the fork again. He sets the spoon down into the cup and shifts her closer to the plate. She will never settle until she can get her hands on it. "That's a fork," Calum explains, then proceeds to point to the pasta on his plate. "I made Mum and I chicken alfredo."

Ettie babbles, her small palms hitting the table. "Yeah," he agrees. "It is quite good." He points to the cup of fruit. "More? One last scoop."

Ettie's not paying attention, still eying his plate. Calum figures he'll try one last time with the spoon and if she refuses it this time, he'll call it good enough. He holds the spoon out in front of her, she watches it for a moment. The attention doesn't last long before she shrieks, clapping. "Yeah, it's mama," he laughs without even looking up. When he does, he can already see the news on Neveah's face before she can speak. His throat dries, tongue feeling too thick for his mouth. God, what can he say? His mind is just utterly frozen in shock.

"She stopped doing chemo. I never even knew," she whispers. She's not even staring at him or the phone clutched in her hands. Calum finally gets his bearings, mind finally getting back into gear. He places Ettie into her high chair and crosses into the living room. "I don't whether to be sad or relieved."

Calum kisses her forehead, hands cupping her cheek. "I'm so sorry, babe. So so sorry. She loved you. She positively loved you."

"I-I know."

There are very few tears from Neveah at the funeral home as they get arrangements in order. She cries a little bit more during the wake. There are no tears at the funeral, even as she marches down the aisle of the church to pay respects to her mother's body one last time. She clutches to Ettie's blanket, though. Calum can see the way her knuckles have lightened around the material.

Neveah wore it over her shoulder, burping Ettie outside before the procession. He stood with her before he had to duck inside. They agreed Calum and Ettie would sit just a few rows back and she would sit with her family. He didn't want to intrude and knew Ettie would be full of babbles, taking in all the new colors, smells, and such.

He was out way longer than he should've been, so he rushed inside. And only as Neveah was lined up the coordinator did she realize that the blanket was still around her shoulder. Instead of passing the blanket along, she holds onto it. It feels a little silly to hold onto this blanket, but she doesn't have it in herself to give it up.

She wishes she could cry, but all it is left is just an ache. One she always knew was there, but just now felt, staring down at her mother's body. She's going to miss her mother. "Forever and always," she whispers, before turning and taking a seat next to her brother. She leans into him. Even though she's older, he provides her with comfort.

In reality, it's just a hole, a holding place for her mother's bones. But it is final. "Why do the living care so much for the dead but not the others that are still living?" Neveah asks from the top of the path. She can see the workers lowering the casket from here.

Calum is unsure how to respond, still trying to keep Ettie at bay in his arms. Neveah notices the whines and takes the child. "Momma's right here, darling. She's right here."

"I can take her. She might be tired of me holding her, but if you need a moment."

She shakes her head at his offer. "My moment's over."

There is nothing for her to do now. Her mother is dead, three, maybe four feet deep now and counting. Soon they will throw dirt onto the waxed coffin. The type of wood will mean nothing to the dirt and worms that will crawl over it. The earth takes no prisoners, only temporary flesh and permanent bones. Her moment will be sealed up and marked with a tombstone.

"People care so much about the dead because they don't want them to talk bad about us. No one cares about what the living say, their opinions still have time to change. The dead speak in eternity and nothing can change theirs," Calum says.

"Ever thought about writing poetry?"

"I never have too much to say."

"You speak volumes with very few words. Ought to give it a shot," Neveah returns.

The ache of missing someone is a slow disease, but persistent. Some days Neveah does well; she cooks breakfast for all of them. She goes to work with a smile. She walks with tours to make sure everything's going smoothly. She can interact with children with light in her heart. Calum sees the nanny that comes in during the week, and Neveah relieves them. Some days she even brings Ettie in while she works for part of the day.

Then other days, getting out of bed is a drag. Neveah picks at her plate, getting just enough not to be met with Calum's firm glance for her to eat more. She doesn't talk much. On those days, Calum gives her space. Ettie notices something is up. Though she lacks the words, the feeling is still there to her. She climbs into her mother's lap, babbles, attempting to console. It will not ever completely dull the ache, but the effort is appreciated. It is enough to get her to smile again.

Calum peers into the living room. Ettie's laughing, reaching for some of her toys on her stomach. Neveah sits cross-legged onto the floor, smiling at their little girl. "Babe, watch!" she calls out, watching Ettie pushing herself up.

Calum wipes his hands on a dish towel, walking out of the kitchen. Ettie smiles, upon seeing him. "Hey, Ladybug."

"Say hi to Dada," she coos. "She can almost roll over, though."

"She's growing up fast." Every week is an adventure. They watch her for a few more seconds. Ettie pushes up again and then one moment she's on her stomach and the next she's on her back. Calum cheers, dropping the kitchen towel before pressing kisses all over Ettie's face and tummy. Ettie giggles at her father's actions, reaching for his hair. "You're getting so big, Ettie. Look at you, rolling over onto your back." The cheering alerts Duke who lifts his head and stands up. He settles back down, taking watch again.

Neveah watches with tears in her eyes. Joy will get a video later today. They'll set her down for tummy time again later and Calum will coax her to do it again for Nanna. Her father will get a video as well. Neveah knows he will race to the cemetery. He will sit on her mother's plot, screaming to the high heavens about their grandbaby being the smartest around. Neveah claps with clouded eyes at the achievement.

As they settle in for the night, Calum pulls her in a little closer into his chest. "Your mother is still smiling down on you."

The ceiling tiles blur in her vision. She inhales deeply, trying to blink back the tears. "You think so?"

"I know so," he whispers, kissing the skin of her neck. "I know it's not easy. But I'm proud of you."

She never thought about dealing with death as a thing to be rewarded for, to be praised for handling. Death is just a part of life. "Why are you proud of me?" she asks, turning her head to look at him. It's dark, but Neveah can see the outline of him, she knows over time the bumps and lines of his face.

His fingertips dance at the hem of her pajama shirt. "You get up every day and you're still a mom. Even when you're off, you still manage to get through it. On your off days, I don't expect you to jump at every cry. I don't expect you to find the energy to sweep, to cook. And yet you do, sometimes. And yet despite all the pain you carry, you still find the capacity to be on. And you let yourself have your bad days. You know your limits and you communicate that and it's hard having a young baby to step away. But you know ultimately some days you have to. And I am proud that you're not just feeling your pain, but trying to heal from it too. I am proud of your progress."

Her palm rests over his cheek, running her thumb up and down the stubble. Her brain is propelling her before she can fully calculate her actions. Lips pressed to his, she trails her nails up into his hair. "Thank you," Neveah exhales before pulling away.

He squeezes at her waist, lips finding hers again in breathy kisses. "You're very welcome."

"I'm taking you out tonight," Calum announces as he walks in through the threshold. He slips out of his boots and takes Ettie, kissing her cheek. "Miss me, baby girl? Love you." Duke trots over, greeting Calum as well and getting some scratches before going back to the edge of the playmat. He takes watch, some of it is uncertainty about the newest addition, but it might be an old instinct to protect still. When Calum looks down to Neveah, he raises an eyebrow. "Put on something nice."

Out? She's forgotten what the phrase means. Neveah hasn't been out in years. Put on something nice? She just barely fits into anything besides her work clothes. All her nice clothes don't fit her anymore. Part of her wishes she was more active about losing the baby weight, but in reality, the stretch marks don't bother her, the extra little gut is just there as far as she's concerned. Her body's just in a new phase. "It's takeout night," is her only rebuttal.

"Exactly, so I'm taking you out."

"Who's going to watch Ettie? Viv went home."

"Michael offered to watch her."

"Michael? I'm shocked it wasn't Ashton."

"Ashton would've put he had other plans tonight. He said he might stop by after them, regardless of whether we're back or not."

"Where are we going? The only things that still kind of fit me are work clothes and some old, old jeans. I can make it work."

He hasn't seen in her jeans very much lately. The moment she gets home she out of her work clothes and into sweatpants. "Whatever you're comfortable wearing."

"Well good thing I was gonna pump anyway. When is Michael coming over?"

"Half an hour, might be a few minutes more." Pushing up from the floor, Neveah walks into Ettie's room, grabbing the double pump and then settles back down in the living room. She can check through the last of her emails and edit that pamphlet for the latest exhibit. She didn't want a double dump at first, but Calum argued that if she was going back to work and still wanted to use her breast milk, having a double pump would be the most effective. She was concerned about price but knew that in the long run, using formula was more costly.

Calum's situated on the floor, reading to Ettie. When Neveah settles down next to them, she pinch the fat of her baby's cheeks. Calum laughs. "Do not distract Ettie. She is learning."

With a chuckle, she reaches up and pinches his cheeks too. It'll annoy him, but that's okay. His smile behind the huff is reason enough to keep it up. Neveah's thankful to have her pumping bra still handy. But it's not like Calum hasn't seen her half asleep with one breast pulled out the side of her shirt trying to feed Ettie.

She rolls the t-shirt up and folds it over the back of her head, so her arms are still through the loop, but her chest is exposed. Thankfully getting the latch is simple and after a few seconds the machine whirs to life. Even though Calum is still quietly reading to Ettie and she's on her computer, the moment feels right and intimate. This is her life, her family. After a few minutes of listening to Calum more than actually reading the words on her screen in front of her, Neveah shuts her laptop screen and rests her head onto his shoulder.

The action pauses the words in his throat. He sees the soft smile on her lips. He knows it's not always the most comfortable thing in the world to do, to have a machine hooked to her chest, but's effective. He finishes the book a few moments later. She's just quietly resting beside him, basking in the moment. He picks Ettie up and holds her horizontal, rubbing her nose against her mother's cheek. "Love you, mum. Even though I poop my diapers and on you sometimes, you're still the best," he coos in a high pitched voice.

Neveah laughs, opening her eyes, holding her lips over her teeth as nibbles on the end of Ettie's nose. "Love you too, baby girl. Even when you poop on me. Know why you're named Ettie?" she asks.

Calum bounces her on his thighs. "I'm curious too."

"Because that's your Daddy's North Star. Right when everything was slipping away from him, you pulled him in the right direction." She boops Ettie's nose, looking up to Calum. She's right. Ettie's the thing that keeps him in line. It was hard to quit smoking and especially after all the late nights and early morning sometimes he can feel his lungs aching for that inhale of nicotine but then Ettie smiles, or laughs and it's all over him, the ache disappears. He's a giver and no one really ever knows how to give back to the giver. Hell, he has to give to Ettie, for Ettie. But it doesn't hollow him.

"Star, the force behind his dreams, the force of life. Ettie Aroha, that's what you are," she whispers. "Bound to be the world's best footballer, because you've already got some strong legs on you, girlie. Bound to do great things. You owe the world nothing. There is no bargain for life, nothing in exchange for existence. Just existence and you can do whatever you want with it."

"Clearly, finishing school is a good thing. Don't pull a me, kid," Calum says, with a small laugh.

"Or do. Who knows what the universe holds?"

"Don't. Finish school. There's room for one uneducated person in the family and that's me. Mum's got two degrees, not including primary."

"Okay, definitely high school. But like, anything after that is truly up to her. College kind of sucked. It's learning and lots of money."

He huffs. "We are trying to sell education here, okay. Sell it."

Neveah laughs. "I take that back, Ettie. It was a magical time and I definitely didn't consider dropping out at one point."

"We need to work on your salesperson's skills."

Finally finished with both bottles, she turns off the machines and screws on the tops to the bottles. "I think they're just fine. Thank you."

Calum lugs the machine to Ettie's room again. "Mum's very smart okay. Don't let her fool you. She's one of the most intelligent people I know. She's very intuitive too. Listen to her gut feelings, even though they might seem a little naggy."

Michael shows up about twenty minutes later and they scurry out of the house. The first time in months that they can escape to themselves. Calum opens the door to his truck. Even for a fifteen-minute outfit change, she looks stunning in the green blouse, dark jeans, and black heels. She even managed to throw on some earrings, though she did steal his leather jacket. But it looks good on her. She looks good, she always does.

He originally intended to take her to an upscale place on the other side of town. But the more he thinks about it, the more he's willingly to tame down the gesture. It's their first outing alone in a long time. He thinks to the little breakfast diner, she loves. It's closed right now, but there is another little mom and pop hole in the wall that he really likes. It's not the healthiest spot on earth, but he thinks it'll be perfect for them.

The lights are low as they enter, hand in hand. Sports coverage is on every single screen in the place. But it's not crowded. He didn't expect it to be on a Tuesday evening, especially so early too. The hostess seats them quickly and Calum orders a stack of onion rings. "God, I shouldn't," Neveah huffs, mouth watering a little at the smell of them as they're brought out.

"You've got enough pumped for the next day. I mean," Calum teases, sliding the plate with a couple onion rings out to her. "Go wild, right?"

"You, sir, are a bad influence."

"No, I'm a voice a reason."

"Just a couple." A couple is all she eats too, though Calum tries to get her to go for the last one. To split the stack evenly but she doesn't fall for it. As their entrees come out, she's compelled to ask. Things are going well between them and for them. They both have feelings for each other and admitted it. But the baby is usually their focus.

"So, do I just live with you forever as your lover and the mother of your child?" She's not opposed to it; she's not opposed to never legally taking any steps. But she just needs to know where she stands. They are not just lovers on escapes through the Californian coast. They're parents. They have jobs. They're adults in bigger regard than legality. She just needs to know the truth. She can handle that.

"No," he answers without pausing, setting the glass of water down. "I know things are a little backward. But hopefully, eventually, you live in our house as my wife with our child."

"And that's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

Calum holds up one hand, holding the other a few inches above the table. "Swear it on the Bible."

She scoffs a little finishing her bite of chicken before speaking. "Too bad I don't have one right now."

Calum nods to his left. "Bookstore right next door. Sure they have one."

She pauses. He is deadly serious, reaching into his wallet. She's practically done, so used to eating as quick as she can to tend to Ettie. She watches the fifty with another twenty on top falls onto the table. The meal was 30 at most, neither one of them ordering an alcoholic drink. "C'mon," he says, sliding out of the booth.

"You've barely eaten. Sit back down. I believe you."

"I'm not Ettie. You cannot scold me."

Neveah takes his outstretched out. "I surely can nag you though. You're going to be hungry later," she reprimands as Calum leads her around the tables to the front door.

"I'll eat leftovers."

"You'll have wasted that money."

"It's a tip for her great service."

The door chimes above their heads as Calum opens it for her, having to break the hand holding. But he reaches for it the moment he steps inside. "When we get back, I've got to finish those edits. You'll be with Ettie for a few hours without me."

"I'm her father. I don't babysit my child. I raise her, I take care of her just like you do when there's those few hours between you getting home and me leaving the studio," he says, reading quickly over the signs. He finds the religious heading and starts for it, trailing her along.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm just–everything's so different now."

"You're a mum now. You're still the sarcastic asshole I fell in love with. But now you nag me about eating. I get it."

Almost instantly after rounding the corner of the bookshelf, he finds a Bible. He gently pulls at the hardcover spine and pulls it from the shelf. She holds it out, his left palm rests on it and his right hand is raised. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" she giggles.

Calum tries to keep the smile from cracking his facade. But his giggle leaves him and he drops his head as the laughter shakes his shoulder. "You fucking idiot, I'm trying to be serious," he huffs.

Neveah fakes her offense, brows pulled together. "First I'm an asshole, now I'm a fucking idiot, you ought to burn where you stand for such language, asshat."

"I should burn huh? Sounds like you're burning with me."

"If I go, who takes care of Ettie?"

"Should've thought of that before you swore." He clears his throat, licks his lips and finally gets the smile off his face. It takes a moment because she keeps giggling. But finally, the amusement dies down. "Now, when I said I wanted you as my wife with our baby in our house," his breath leaves him for a second, staring into her eyes. They've finally got a small twinkle to them. He's missed that. "I was telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth," he concludes in a whisper.

Her gaze flickers around his face, before landing on his lips. "Sworn on the Bible," she grins, half of the smile lifting higher than the other.

"Told you I would." He knows he doesn't have to ask anymore. "Are you going to say anything snarky if I kiss you right now?"

She shakes her head, blindly placing the book on the shelf. "I would say something snarky if you didn't."

Calum cups her face, kissing her hard. Is it unconventional to be nearly 33, kissing like teenagers in the middle of a bookstore? Probably. But at that moment all he can think about is her kiss, her touch. She smells like honey in his nose, probably a new shampoo or lotion. He's not sure. Her hair products are a constant rotation.

All he is sure is that her lips feel like heaven on his, soft even a little chapped and warm. Her nails dig into his forearm before she wraps them around his midsection, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. Their tongues slip over each other before they part, breathing heavy and still clutching each other.

Neither one can fully open their eyes, trying to just keep breath in their lungs. Neveah tilts her head again, capturing his mouth, the tip of her tongue running over his lips. As she parts, Calum pulls her back, mirroring the same action on her. He slides his arms over hers, slipping them between her shirt and his jacket. He's not connected to his body anymore, he thinks, watching the way she grins at up at him. No, it's not him holding her so close. It's not him that gets to wake up next to her each day. It can't be. But when she pecks his lips, the reality comes rushing back. It's him. It's actually him living this life.

"Hate to ruin such a precious moment. But I'm going to ruin it. We close in like ten minutes," an older gentleman warns.

"We just really love Jesus. Sorry. Have a great night," Neveah rushes out, taking Calum's hand and pulling him out of the aisle and out of the store.

He laughs from behind her. "We just really love Jesus."

"Didn't you go to some fancy private Christian school? You saying you don't love Jesus."

"That is utterly beside the point."

"Then tell me what utterly is the point?"

Calum's phone starts to ring. He reaches into the pocket, noticing Michael's number. "The point is that we got caught making out in a bookstore." He hopes everything's okay but stops on the curb before they hit the parking lot. "Is everything okay?" he asks answering.

"She's just a teensy fussy and I think it's teething. It woke her up from her nap," Michael relays.

Calum can hear the cries in the back. It's not skull piercing just yet. But he's gotta act fast. "A lot of drool?"

"Definitely. I'm going to need a new shirt."

"She'll getcha for sure. Rubbing her gums helps. You can use your finger or take a damp gauze pad. But if you're not comfortable with that, there are some teething rings in the fridge."

"I love Ettie, but I don't think I could rub her gums like that."

"If the ring doesn't work, call me back. And you might not want to change out of that shirt just yet either. She'll keep drooling, so try to keep that as clean up as possible."

"Got it. Sorry to interrupt your date."

"It's alright. We were interrupted once."

The cries subdue and Calum relaxes, finally feeling the soothing strokes of her hand on his back. He hates hearing his baby cry. "What happened?" Michael laughs.

"I'll tell you when I get back to the house. Has Ashton been by yet?"

"Nah, he texted me though saying he should be by in the next hour."

Calum wraps his arm around her shoulders. "Okay. Thanks again for watching her."

"It's not a problem, dude. She's pretty chill. Besides teeth are a pain. I have all mine and I still wish I could suck on a teething ring sometimes."

Calum laughs. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." As they hang up, she's already mentioning getting back home. Calum pulls her back. "It's okay. Just teething. Michael's gonna give her a cold teething ring. If that doesn't work then we'll go back. Right now, we should see how many other places we can get caught kissing."

"How many drinks have you had? What have you done with Calum?"

"You telling me you don't want to go into that convenient store, hide in the chips for a second and kiss?"

His smile is contagious. It's like their 23 again, but instead of sitting at house parties and helping him sneak off for a cigarette and to spill his guts, they sneak off from being parents for a couple hours and they are kids for just a moment. Neveahshakes her head, grinning at herself. "And we ought to buy cheap lime-a-ritas and I'll just bottle feed Ettie tonight."

"You can buy one, I'm driving."

"Now you're a rule stickler," she scoffs.

"Younger me did not have a baby to get home too."

"Fair. I'll go with something smaller. Lime-a-rita's bound to fuck me up completely now."

"Lightweight."

She swats at his chest as they start to the car. "I know what I am and I'm okay with that."

Calum unlocks the door to the house and barely gets his two feet in the door before there's a shriek and a tiny body is waddling up to him. "Dada!" Ettie shouts, all year and a half of her colliding into his chest.

"Hey, Ladybug! Oh!" he laughs, lifting her up. "How are you? I missed you!" Ettie wraps her arms around his neck and he carries her into the kitchen. Neveah sits at the counter, cleaning off papers. He takes hold of the back of her neck, to still her. He hums, kissing her deeply. His gut and chest warm. He's finally home from all the droning of business.

"Hon, tell me that's your beef stew I smell?" Calum asks, pulling away from their kiss.

She shrugs. "I don't know. You tell me."

He presses another kiss to her forehead, shaking his head at the comment. As they eat, Calum keeps glancing to Neveah's left hand. He hopes she catches the hint. But he's praying she hasn't found the box either. He tried to put it high, knowing she's less likely to be snooping up that high in the day to day chores. She mentions how the programs for the kids at the museum are gaining a lot more attractive now thanks to the change of distribution amongst elementary and middle schools. He talks about promotion and tour dates. They have to travel for the latest album.

She nods, breaking off more biscuit for Ettie. "We'll be okay."

"I knew I'd be gone. Just, not so soon," he whispers.

"I'll have Viv to help me out some. I'll call my dad and see if he can help."

Calum reaches across the dining room table and takes her hand. "I know you can make it. I'm just sad to leave you guys. I know I can't convince you to leave the museum and tour the world with me. I wouldn't even try."

She shrugs. She was convinced to have his kid of out a pact. She moved in with him. She's fallen in love with him. There's truly not much more she couldn't be convinced to do. "I love my job. But I love my family more. You nearly died leaving when I was pregnant. I can't have you going through that again."

His jaw drops. Would she really leave her job? "You can't not be doing something. I know you. You're too antsy. Stay home."

"We've only got a couple more years of Ettie not being in school. A few months and she can see the world."

"It's rough. She needs such a strict schedule, time zones are crazy. It's best if you stay home, work, keep this schedule that we have going."

"I've got some vacation time. Maybe not the whole shebang. But for a couple of weeks, we can hang out."

That's reasonable. That'll help him keep sane during tour. Calum nods. "We'll see when you can get time off during the U.S. leg. And maybe later I'll take you guys abroad."

"If it's Europe, I gotta see Switzerland."

"You got it."

"Also, I've never been to Australia."

"One thing at a time, Honey. One thing at a time."

"This was about your parents! They need to see Ettie too."

Calum surely did not miss the mischievous twinkle to her eyes. "Uh, sure." They finish eating and Calum loads the dishwasher, thinking about that top corner of his side of the closet. He can't wait anymore. He finishes with the dishes before heading to the bedroom. He finds the bag it's in easily, double checking that nothing has been disturbed. Positive nothing has been messed with he walks back into the kitchen. How the hell should he ask? On one knee. God his knees just ache thinking about that.

As he walks into the living room and notices Neveah's back turned he figure his this is shot. So he wraps his arms around her waist, burying his face into her shoulder. She laughs. "What are you doing?"

"Givin' you some loving. I see you looking this good in sweatpants." He playfully teases the drawstring. She taps at his knuckles, laughing. They've become much more intimate over the months. He holds the ring out in front of her.

All the air presses out of her lungs. "What is this?"

"I make good on my promises. So," he pulls away and turns her to face him. "Will you be my best friend literally forever, my love, not just lover? Will you be my wife?"

"Yes," the word leaves her so softly he barely catches it. Her nod is the thing that lets Calum know her answers. He slides the ring onto her finger, pulling his bottom lip between his lips. "So we went from best friends to lovers, became parents, and somehow we've made your way back to lovers."

"Some say that's the best love story around."

The clouds pass by yet again. Calum's off of the sidelines with some other dad's. Neveah watches him pace on the field. They came in separate cars. She picked up Ettie from school and got her ready for the game. Calum came directly from the studio. He ought to be saving his voice. His voice coach will be pissed about all the shouting he's done during the game. But of course, he's gonna shout. This is his ladybug's first game of the season. "C'mon!" he shouts.

"Save your voice, Cal," Neveah whispers from the stands before watching the field again. She couldn't watch the game with him yelling in her ear, so she told him that she would sit somewhere else during the game.

Ettie's dribbling the ball downfield when she takes a push from another girl. Her team is up a goal and there are only a couple minutes left in the game. Nothing is called against the offensive move. "C'mon ref! She was pushed. My baby was pushed!" Neveah shouts.

Calum turns from the sidelines to find her, standing up, leaning over the other parents, hand cupped around her mouth. If she thinks he's bad, she ought to see herself. As she settles back down, they lock eyes, smiling at each other. They know the real reason why they don't sit next to each other. It's because the shouting becomes tenfold. Not only are they shouting at the game, but they will also bicker with each other.

"Your daughter is on the field!" Neveah calls out to him. "And she's been pushed. But clearly, none of the refs are wearing glasses."

Calum chokes on his laughter, waving at her to simmer down. They're about to get kicked out for the rest of the season and it just started. The last minute of the game is tense. But thankfully Ettie's team manages to keep their lead. Calum cheers from the sidelines. Neveah races down from the bleachers to his side and collides into with a hug. They know not to intrude on the field, letting Ettie have her moment.

The teams line up and give out high fives before they grab their bags. Ettie walks up to her parents, grinning. "Next time, stay in the car," she teases.

"But you won!" Calum shouts, lifting his little girl. She refused soccer for a long time. They tried it when she was 6, but she wanted to keep dancing. But now at eight, she decided that maybe dance wasn't everything she wanted and asked Calum to help her so she could try out for the team.

Ettie laughs at the smiles her parents' sport. They were just like this about dance. Much less loud, but still very enthusiastic about her interest. Calum learned how to perfect the ballet bun and how to prevent a run in tights. Now with soccer, Neveah learns not to freak at grass stains and keep a fridge stocked. "You two are embarrassing," Ettie teases but looks down as she kicks the grass. "You sure I can't get a piggyback ride?"

Calum pulls out her sneakers. "Change out of your cleats and that ride is all yours."

Ettie takes the shoes and heads to the closing game huddle. Her coach congratulates them on the win and talks about practice next week, what to expect, the new drills. She walks back to her parents, Calum kneeling for her to jump onto his back. They walk back to their cars, debating where to go in celebration of the victory. "Ice cream! Before dinner?" Ettie questions.

Calum's not always an easy one to crack. But he gives in quickly. Ettie turns her attention to her mother, jutting out her bottom lip. Neveah doesn't even need to look up. "Put that bottom lip back in. We have to go because you're going to go with Dad. And if you go with him, he's going to sneak off and do it."

"You guys are the best."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Calum and she chorus, laughing. They're not always perfect parents. But they do their best, like agree to ice cream before dinner after soccer games.

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