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#gonna get it cut after I am fully vaccinated
writeradamanteve · 3 years
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Today’s been a day. I was keenly reminded that we are still in a pandemic, because of two things:
President Biden ordered the flag to be flown at half mast for the 500,000 souls lost to this pandemic
My mother got her 2nd vaccine shot
One is tragedy while the other is hope.
I have to admit, I’ve been looking towards hope for the sake of my mental health, but I don’t want to forget how these lives weighed so heavily on me when the pandemic really began to take its toll in April of last year.
Around late March of 2020, I was posting about my own fight against COVID-19. I got a relatively mild case, even if I had all but one of the symptoms.
I keep telling people that after I got better, it took me three weeks to fully recover, but that’s not entirely true.
After those three weeks, I still had/have post-COVID symptoms: my sense of smell is damaged, probably forever, and I’ve been unusually sensitive to allergens when I never was for most of my life. But the most alarming symptom I had were my random fits of unprovoked dry coughing, which could last between 5 to 30 minutes.
I would be completely fine, sitting on the couch reading, or cutting vegetables, or getting ready to sleep, and I would erupt for no apparent reason. I always thought drinking water or tea would help soothe me, but it never did, and while this would happen to me, it wasn’t exactly frequent enough that it could be considered an actual viral cough.
That tickle was always kind of there, though, and I would sometimes sit still, concentrating hard to keep it at bay.
This went on for months until I finally decided to do something about it last December—and no, I did not go to the doctor, because I am stupid and stupid—I began walking/running 3 times a week and doing light exercise, because I firmly believed my lung functions were deteriorating and that exercise might kickstart it back to health.
The farthest I ever got during these early sessions was a mile in 30 minutes. It was brutal, but it was my Come to Jesus moment—I had to get healthy again.
I kept doing it, and one mile in 30 became 2 miles, and 3 times a week became 4. Now I am managing 3 miles in 30 minutes, 5 times a week, and I have stopped coughing since mid-December.
I have this deep fear that if I stop, my lungs are just going to keep getting fucked up and that disease will catch up on me eventually.
The upside, of course, is that I am eating and feeling better, and my family are eating more vegetables and fruits than they ever had (lol yeah, mama’s gonna cook the food you like, but you’re gonna eat the food I eat, too).
So I guess I continue to straddle that line between tragedy and hope, and really, I haven’t forgotten we’re in a pandemic, I’ve just learned to live with it because my mind and body’s still resisting it.
I just want everyone to stay safe.
Keep taking those precautions. There’s a vaccine, and soon the kids will have it, too. We are seeing a light where it used to be so bleak.
It’s going to be alright, because I have to tell myself that, too.
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writingsbychlo · 3 years
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💭
Ayyy Congrats Chlo! Can I get a 💭 of Noah when his girl is pregnant? Like how is he through it snd when she's in labor?
no more requests, the sleepover is over, I'm just finishing up what's in my inbox!
I got so carried away with this
he would be so good by the labour stage
but lets be real, he takes a hot minute to get adjusted
now, don't get me wrong, this was planned
and he is damn excited to be a dad
you've been taking folic acid and vitamin D and all the good stuff
and you were both elated and crying when the test came back positive
but he does take a moment to actually realise what it means
like he did not think that far through, if he's honest
rubbing your back throughout morning sickness
but like, he doesn't quite get it
you have a significantly lowered sex drive
breast tenderness and morning sickness and he is kinda sexually frustrated
it takes him a moment to adjust to that because y'all had been pretty active before, and he has to take care of himself now
not to mention, you're a lot more sleepy
he knew you'd get sleepy, but he expected it to come later, not as early in the pregnancy as the first few weeks
so there's a lot of things that have to be cancelled
like concerts and things
but he was looking forwards to them
and it causes some arguments to begin with
like when he went to the concert with boyd instead
and you'd put a blanket and pillow on the couch for him
or the argument that came with him insisting that he could ride the bike a little longer
and the little strop he gets in when you throw out all the foods on the list your midwife gave you after your first antenatal appointment
"you can't eat them, but I can! why do we have to throw it all out?"
"because you're supposed to be supporting me!"
"I am supporting you, but I still want to eat my food!"
"fine, keep it then!"
and he feels bad two weeks later when you go to game night
and derek and stiles have laid out an awesome looking spread
with charcuterie boards and cheeses and crackers and wine
and he knows how much you love all of that stuff
and you literally can't have any of it
in fact, you brought your own meal, which is a salad and plain crackers and it's not exactly game night material
and so he does some research into food and writes down everything you can and can't have
and he watches a video on best recipes for pregnancy and he makes one for you
a little surprise dinner for when you get home from work
"what's all this?"
"well, you know, your meals look kinda' miserable. but, you're literally growing our child, so you should get to eat nice things, and I googled a good recipe for pregnancy safe meals."
noah getting laid that night
and afterwards, when you're asleep on his chest, he realises how easy it is when he stops thinking it's gonna be a struggle
at around about 7 weeks, you start getting more emotional
crying more at movies and getting mad at random things and being a lot clingier than usual
which he doesn't mind, of course
but it freaks him out sometimes
"noah, what the fuck?" while in tears and he's freaking out because he has no idea how bad he fucked up or what he did "there's a dead bird in the garden, noah, that's got to be some kind of omen, oh my god, what if you die? why would you just die, noah?"
so he cleans up the dead bird
but now you're mad because you're worried about him abandoning you
"baby, if I was gonna' abandon you then why would I have married you, huh?"
and it takes him a hot minute to get used to that too
however, he also learns how to direct it at other people for his own amusement
"hey, baby, did you know that stiles wears socks to bed, even in the summer?"
"you wear socks to sleep in the summer? you're sick, stiles. you're sick. I don't want you near my child, you're weird, you and your socks and your sweaty toes can stay away. you're so gross."
"what the fuck?"
and noah just laughing his ass off about it
you also have to pee a lot more so noah has to take that into account
you're still fully able to go hiking and do the things the two of you love doing
but he has to plan in your pee breaks
not to mention, you're still throwing up every morning
so, he can't plan too much, but he does plan a little weekend getaway for you both
with a privately rented cabin so that you can throw up each morning in peace and don't feel like you're being watched
panicking when you get spotting at week 8
and that really throws you both through a loop
rushing to the hospital and he's unfamiliar with driving your car
so it stresses him out to know he's useless in emergencies
it turns out to be nothing
but noah is pretty sure he's never cried that hard
not to mention, in a public bathroom, just so he didn't scare you
and when he gets home, like, fuck, it's a reality check for him
he starts getting driving lessons
he has a license and all but he's rusty
and he wants to be prepared, so he starts taking lessons
he also starts checking out bigger cars for the two of you
because your little car won't do in a few years
"you know, not that I'm complaining, but I've noticed you aren't wearing bras anymore."
watching your cheeks go fucking warm as you get all embarrassed
"do you wanna go shopping, get some comfier ones?"
"you are gonna go pregnancy bra shopping with me?"
"well, considering how proud I am when I get to go regular bra shopping with you, I think pregnancy bra shopping is the same."
going with you to get tests and scans done
literally crying again when you hear the heartbeat
"we made that, oh my god."
texting everyone he knows when you get your due date estimate
holding your hands when you have to get your pregnancy vaccinations
actually taking notes when the midwife starts talking about making a birthing plan and getting things sorted before you get to the third trimester
and he does a lot of research on birthing plans and starts prepping
going on every shopping trip with you
"I want to get the nursery painted, like, a while before the baby comes. so we can air it out for fumes."
"we can go check samples out this weekend."
"well, I mean, that's soon, like, really?"
"yeah, whatever you want, sunshine."
getting laid again
and when the morning sickness goes away, he starts getting his late morning sleep back
starting to get self-conscious about extra pregnancy weight gain
and noah doing everything he can to reassure you
but as you get into the second trimester, your sex drive suddenly jumps back up
and he fucking loves it
because that's a lot of unprotected sex and a lot of making out and a lot of touching
and honestly, something about it is really turning him on
"baby, I don't know if it's your glow or the fact that I am literally so in love with you, or maybe the months of not having sex, but I've literally never been this hard."
"shut up and fuck me, you can compliment me later."
"'kay."
throughout your second trimester, you get everything done
the nursery gets decorated and the furniture is built and it's perfect
there's only the little touches now, like mobiles and clothes and such
he also bought the new car, and traded yours in
and he arranged for you to get lessons in it too, so you know how to drive a bigger car before you get too pregnant to drive safely
crying the first time the baby moves. so much fucking crying.
and getting so excited every time
it's few and far between in the middle of your second trimester, but it's so meaningful
starting to go to pregnancy classes
and he also signs you both up for a pregnancy exercise class
that is supposedly meant to make labour easier because of the pelvic floor exercises
having a few days where you're nervous around him
thinking he did something wrong
"I think I'm gonna want to take an epidural."
"that's what you've been so worried about?"
"well, yeah. I read all these pamphlets about how it's so controversial and sometimes the dads don't like it, an-"
"I want you to be happy, okay? it's gonna be a happy time, so whatever you want, we'll do, okay? I want you to smile when you look back on the birth of our baby."
"I love you, so damn much."
"I love you so damn much."
finding out the sex of the baby, neither of you wants to wait
telling everyone it's a secret until the baby shower
your bump really starting to come in at the end of the second trimester
as well as headaches and backaches and stretch marks
and noah always making sure to kiss it better
a lot of nice warm baths and washing your hair for you
the baby starts responding to touch and sound, though
noah starts talking to the baby a lot
telling them about your day and rubbing lotion on your stomach
the baby getting hiccups for the first time
in the beginning of the second trimester, you start choosing names
more tears when you settle on a name
the third trimester is where you really start feeling it
you’ve got mood swings, you’ve got backache, and you’re getting a lot of odd cravings
all of which noah indulges for you
some make him gag and he actually cannot watch you eat it
banning food in bed
it caused an argument but he won that one
announcing the gender at your baby shower
you and noah dressing in white while waiting for everyone’s guesses
it’s a girl!
you announced it via a little cake cutting ceremony that was pink inside
using those last few weeks to decorate the nursery with teddies and buy clothes
when you finally go into labour it’s actually while you’re hanging out with stiles and derek
thinking it’s just cramps for a while
because you’ve been having cramps, you think it’s fine
until
“uh, (Y/N), you know I love you, but did you pee on my couch?”
“excuse me, I did not pee on your couch an- oh my god, they’re contractions.”
noah literally choking on his drink
you rubbing his back as he tries to cough it up
panicking so much that his whole fucking birthing plan goes out of the window
“the bag is at home!”
“what about your pillow?”
“fuck! fuck! fuck!”
derek is the only calm one because stiles is;
“HOLY FUCK, IM GONNA BE AN UNCLE, GIMME A NEICE!”
and noah is 
“HOLY FUCK, IM GONNA BE A FATHER!”
so derek coordinates it all while you just kinda sit there and watch it all
“okay, well, her contractions are now, like, eight minutes apart, so maybe we should get a move on.”
telling stiles to take you to the hopsital while he takes noah to pick everything up
and off you go
stiles is fucking buzzing the whole way there
calling your hospital to inform them you’re on your way
getting to the hospital and being greeted by your midwife
“lovely to see you again, mom and dad”
“I DIDN’T MAKE THAT.”
“thanks, stiles.” your midwife being confused. “this is the uncle, they’re twins. dad is on his way.”
“I’M THE UNCLE!”
“stop shouting stiles, the baby won’t come out, you’re scaring it back up.”
“sorry.”
stiles holding your hand
noah arriving five minutes later with more than enough stuff
“I didn’t know which pjs you’d want after so I brought options!”
after a good few hours of labour, and noah being there for all of it, your baby is born
literally crashing right after and sleeping for a while
“‘bout fuckin time you woke up, noah won’t let me see my niece ‘til you have. hurry up.”
“I will punch you so hard you’ll be glad you’re in a hospital.”
“that’s my wife”
“sorry.”
meeting your daughter with noah, and having a moment
because he’s put her in a little pink striped onesie and she’s got a baby beanie on
“she’s got your nose.”
“you can’t tell that, she’s like six hours old.”
“i can hope.”
finally taking her to meet stiles who practically dies on the spot
he cries a lot when he finally gets to hold his niece
“stiles, derek, meet ‘hope claudia stilinski’.”
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goineedsleep · 3 years
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i am cursed, and also delusional
i got sick recently(not covid, i am a fully vaccinated bitch), so i'm writing this on caffeine and pain
i hope you enjoy the shitshow
-trials of octopath is todays awful fusion idea
-for those of you unaware of trials of manas existence, it's a lot like octopath(and vice versa). trials is a game where you pick 3 characters out of 6 possible options to play as, and the story changes drastically depending on who's in your party. im' gonna have to cut a couple of the octopaths to fit this AU, but i'll be putting them elsewhere- you'll see them eventually
-i'm not even getting into story pairs! every two characters in trials of mana has the same final boss. if you put two characters together who have the same story(say, the fighter/duran or the mage/angela), it gives more information on those characters and their shared story.
-we have olberic the fighter(replacing duran) first. after an invasion of his home, he trusts erhardt with protecting it while he chases after the perpetrator
-then there's cyrus the mage(replacing angela)- he is the prestiged son of a famed scholar. he cannot use the same powerful magic his father could, and thus is chosen to be executed by him. cyrus unleashes enough magical power to teleport out of that situation(this happens in-game), and runs away to seek guidance from the Archbishop of the Church of the Sacred Flame.
-now we have therion the thief. he is a close friend of the leader of the Thieves Guild of the Ravuses, a man known as Heathcote. Darius, an "old friend " of his, saved Heathcotes life from being missing. this results in Heathcote acting very weird from the day he returns- at least, if you ask therion. Heathcote has never expressed the want to start a nation and invade another country until now! he gets help from Heathcotes son, the doctor of their group, to find out what's going on with Heathcote. It turns out... that Darius is using mind control to manipulate Heathcote to follow his bidding. man come on therion was just starting to not punch you in the face every night just when you were about to fall asleep again
-Darius uses dark magic to seal Alfyn away to another realm, and frames Therion for the kidnapping. Therion can't tell the truth about the situation either or kill Darius- Cordelia, Alfyns little sister, will die as well if he even dares due to a cursed article of clothing given to her by Darius.
-luckily for him, Tressa has mercy on him a couple months later and breaks him out of jail. therion decides to investigate the curse in order to find out how to stab Darius in the most affective way imaginable. Also to save Cordelia, but that isn't his priority at the moment
-now we have the warrior princess Primrose
-she's the captain of the woman-led guard of the country of Azelhart
-her mother died during childbirth whilst giving birth to her little sister tressa, and so she decided to take care of her to the best of her ability. her father is very proud of her for taking charge like this, but he still is the parent in this version. he is the one that technically raised tressa since I do not want to force primrose to parent someone when she's like 6
-primrose was just a dedicated babysitter
-she wants tressa to practice her dancing, and when she finds her she's being held at knifepoint by 2 thieves. the barrier protecting Azelhart from enemy forces is broken, tressa is kidnapped, and -Azelhart is no more. Now Primrose is no princess or noble- she's just Primrose
-She goes to the Priest of Light so she can pray for forgiveness from Aelfric before she kills all of the Ravus thieves guild
-H'aanit is the princess of the werewolves. they've been oppressed and marginalized by humans for years, so they've taken up the forest as their home. she's a hunter like most of them are, yet she's never been able to harness the power of her bloodline: it may be due to her being half-human, but she's never been capable of transforming into a beast like her brethren.
-she meets the snow leopard Linde in front of her dead mothers corpse, and starts feeding it
-she has a new pet now -linde and herself work together and they sometimes do better than full-blooded werewolves when they work together
-Z'aanta forms an alliance with Mattias, a man who's worked with the Church of the Sacred Flame a million times -immediately following the forming of this alliance Linde attempts to kill H'aanit -H'aanit doesn't wish to hurt her friend, but she has no choice: she turns into a werewolf for the first time in her life and loses control of her thoughts in her despair
-oh welp the cat's dead(I'M SO SORRY LINDE YOU ARE A VERY GOOD KITTY) -H'aanit heads back home to cry for a minute... then she overhears Mattias admitting that he killed her cat -H'aanit attempts to attack him, and then gets yeeted to Jadd -good job ham, you complete and utter pokemon trainer
-last up, we've got ophilia -she's the adoptive daughter of the Archbishop of the Sacred Flame -she hears Lianna's gonna be going somewhere, she gets an awful vision of Lianna never being seen again following this mission, and goes with her in secret -Lianna gets kidnapped regardless by Mattias -so ophilia decides to find this guy and punch him in the face
-alright that's all of the character backstories
-THANK GOD
-all of these people(save alfyn and tressa, who is being held hostage by the ravus thieves guild) go to jadd first- h'aanit is yeeted there by mattias
-h'aanit notices that her people are invading this town and will be invading Flamesgrace- her next goal is to stop this -olberic wants to stop this as well, so he and h'aanit team up first
-Primrose looks for Tressa in some desperate search, and meets Cyrus during this search. they decide to journey together to Wendel, figuring going together would be better than being alone -they think it's a dumb idea to fight the beastmen, so they decide to escape at night like the bartender suggested
-ophilia finds therion at the bar while looking for food, and overhears his story while she eats soup and bread -she leads him to Wendel, wanting to do help another adventurer before she goes off into the unknown herself
-olberic and h'aanit free the town from beastmen and go to the cavern that leads to flamesgrace(which i am going to keep calling Wendel on accident because that's what it is in trials, srry) -they get there and there's a barrier -archbishop put it up to protect them from the beastmen, and then h'aanit and olberic find the lakeside town of astoria -the villagers keep mentioning how a divine light has started appearing in the area, and olberic shrugs it off and takes a very long nap. the poor man is very tired -ophilia and therion head there as well and follow the light to where it falls- ophilia touches this flame and has to fight a giant robot w/ therion -they win, and ophilia doesn't see it anymore -she shrugs and heads back to astoria, where beastmen have wrecked the town. it is g o n e -ophilia holds a memorial service for them, where she tells therion about how she's a cleric of the Sacred Flame -therion shrugs and suggests they keep going. they don't have much time before it's day and the beastmen attempt to attack Flamesgrace, too
-h'aanit, olberic, cyrus and primrose are having a picnic at the barrier when ophilia and therion arrive -ophilia attempts charging into the barrier, and then it sets on fire and they can all go through -after a long and awkward icebreaker, they all decide to travel together. it's pretty dangerous out there anyways, with the beastmen attacking and atlasdams rumored invasion of Hornburg. the ravus nation is also a major worry, therion reminds them, but they arent' gonna be in the area for a while
-these guys make it to flamesgrace to receive advice on what's coming next -olberic is told to become stronger before challenging atlasdam, and not to do so alone. he continues being in the group due to this -cyrus is told to learn how to understand his emotions- magic is not the forms they teach at school, but rather what comes from the heart. he decides to accompany the travelers so he can escape imprisonment by atlasdam forces -therion first learns of how the dimension Alfyn's been tossed into is inaccessible by humans. it is the birthplace of galdera, and is a realm of which sinners reside after they've lived their lives. Alfyn is probably not going to last very long in this realm- he's as good as dead -therion is then told of how ancient and deadly of a magic the cursed choker is, and that darius is not human. what he is is a mystery, and to save cordelia he must find the sword of aelfric. he cannot save alfyn, so he may as well save his sister -primrose is advised to find her sister and that if she chooses to destroy the ravus nation, aelfric will not support her actions, though they are understandable. if she finds the Sword of Aelfric, she may gain the power she needs to destroy the Ravus nation. -h'aanit is told that Linde will live on through her, and that Mattias is a warlock of Galderas. he has been rejected by the Order of the Sacred Flame as a result, though he does lie very affectively. to save the Kingdom of S'warkii, she must take down Mattias. and since mattias is going after the Sword of Aelfric she may as well accompany Ophilia and make Mattias's efforts worth nothing at all -ophilia is told to find Lianna, since she has been chosen by the Ember. she is now the only person who can rise the Sword of Aelfric from its resting place
-the Sword of Aelfric is hidden within the Sanctuary of Aelfric, which needs an insane amount of power to be opened. normally this power can be leached from the Aelfric Stones, but doing so could let loose ancient and terrible demons. therefore, the 8 gods that reside next to these stones need to be called upon in order to open the portal to the Sanctuary. -Therion suggests going after Aelfric first, since he's the closest one to them. after that, they need to find someone who knows where the rest of them are and also how to get there -they all agree that it's a good plan, but cyrus brings up that the Aelfric Stones each belong to a specific nation or people. going there and borrowing the gods power would be going after large civilizations that have grown around these stones -olberic suggests that they plan this out later, when they have more information and time -they all agree and go ahead to find the first of 8 gods
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daydweam · 3 years
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Why were you confined to a bed for years ?
I suffer from several conditions. Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS- I am the hypermobility type), Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), TMJ, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS), among others. Chronic pain and health issues have plagued me since I was very young. Two things triggered my body to decline. I had a major whiplash accident on a rollercoaster when I was 9. My chin hit my sternum so hard it cracked. Months later I contracted whooping cough even though I was fully vaccinated. This left me in bed for four months. The severe coughing only caused more stress on my neck, and possibly even more whiplash events. The coughing was so severe I would be unable to breathe and often threw up. Ever since that time I never was okay. I enter middle school, and I decline. My head was literally falling off (chiari malformation.) Blah blah blah let me get to the meat. God theres no way I am gonna properly cover it all but I will try. I am cutting out searching for help and the misdiagnosis’/mistreatment I faced by many. So heres the meat. I have had several major surgeries. I had one to correct my Chiari Malformation (October 2014) and decompress my brain when I was 14. I overdosed in post op because of idiot nurses. I stopped breathing and was given narcan. I later had a surgery for Median Arcuate Ligament Syndrome (MALS) (Jan 2016 I believe). There was an ligament wrapped around an artery constricting it. Recovery from that was far worse than it should’ve been due to a clump of nerves being cut and burned away in order to get to an important area. However I do recover.
Then all hell broke loose ( I totally forgot to mention I had to leave school and enter a home and hospital program in 8th grade). September 2016 I had surgery to fix tethered cord syndrome. My spinal cord was being stretched out and needed to be released. During the surgery I contracted aseptic meningitis. This would go undiagnosed for nearly half a year. I want to clarify that aseptic meningitis is not the type that will kill you in a day before anyone tries to claim I am lying. At first my recovery was normal. Until it wasn’t. A leak of spinal fluid created a sac on and around the incision site. This caused lots of pressure in my head as well. December 2016 my surgeon planned to go and remove the fluid and figure out what was going on. He also wanted to put an ICP monitor in my head to see what the intercranial pressure was looking like. WELL while putting the monitor in a blood vessel was hit causing a brain bleed. No one noticed until i was seizing on the operating table. No oxygen was going to my brain. Two craniotomies were performed and I was placed in a medically induced coma. However, I still had aseptic meningitis that had continued to be undiagnosed. I woke up. Lots happens. Eventually spinal fluid was leaking out of me from my recent incision. It soaked my entire bed like it was thrown in a pool. I was put back in for surgery and a shunt was put in. At first it didn’t work and I was going to be put back in for more surgery. Miraculously it started working. Christmas day after almost a month in the ICU i was sent home. Hell awaited me. I foolishly decided to cold turkey stop taking any form of narcotics or opiates. I was so traumatized I wanted to take as little meds as possible. Well dilaudid or fentanyl was being given to me every two hours for nearly a month. And i went to nothing. With aseptic meningitis and recovering from a brain bleed plus major back surgeries. Time passes. I think I am getting better, until I have the worst stomach pain of my life. I cant eat or drink. I can’t even swallow my own saliva. I didnt eat for a week. I went through the stages of starvation. All the vomiting caused my shunt to puncture my dura, and then come back out. This started another leak. I started to have positional headaches. Eventually my surgeon finally realizes I have aseptic meningitis. I get on steroids. I have an agonizing drive up to see him. He is many hours away. My local hospitals turned me away. This was killing me. I go in and suffer through the worst MRI I ever had to experience. He sees that even my back muscles had torn apart. I am sent in for emergency surgery Feb 2017. The shunt was removed. They essentially made a dam with my back muscles from what I understand. Ever since that surgery I have never fully recovered. I suffer from severe hypersensitivity. I am disabled. I of course present able bodied and thats why we call this an invisible illness. Countless doctors have accused me of lying about my pain. Countless people in general. I faced discrimination and sabotage by my own school who claimed to be Christian. I am lucky to have a wonderful team of doctors after years of malpractice. I have had physical therapists literally destroy my body. I have had world renowned doctors lie to my face and withhold info that could be life or death for me. I have been on countless medications. I started looking for a diagnosis since I was 12. Its been a hard journey but I am here and I am actually going out. I still have severe pain every day. I have been managing it enough to function more than before, but its still hell. I have the most incredible friends I would die for. They are why I am sane. If you read to this point that makes me want to cry to be honest. It was really difficult to write but I think it was time I made a post laying down at least the very basic info. And yes I said BASIC. This is BARELY covering the surface of my journey, but hopefully its enough to shed light on major moments.
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steve0discusses · 3 years
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S5 Ep 3: Apdnarg is Really Hard to Spell
 Yo guys, people are getting vaccinated, the sun is parting through the clouds, and I felt so nice that I even stopped listening to quite so many throwback 00′s BTS mashups (and yet I keep clicking on these dissonant catastrophes thinking “this time it’s got to be better. This time they’ll figure it out.” and like, no. Turns out you can’t match Brittany’s Toxic with BTS’ Black Swan. You can’t do that.)
This must be a sign that things are getting better. If anything, it means my personal tastes are improving. I mean I only clicked on like 3 “Dark Academia” Playlists where I could pretend I’m some sort of spooky witch in an abandoned library with a bad music player and basic taste in classical music (like can we ban Satie from Youtube for a little while?). Hell, I might even do a prompt update to this blog!
Yeah, you heard me, I’m actually going to stay ahead of the update schedule for Yugioh Abridged (maybe. I haven’t actually watched cuz of spoilers, I just noticed the thumbnail pop up on Youtube and was like “Damn it, they came out of hiatus??? I got hurry UP.”)
Anyway, speaking of the sky parting.
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I’ll have you know my bro said this is actually more like a circumcision and it was one of the worst thing I have ever heard.
We get a chance to take in this lineup of confusing and varied character designs, and Joey. who is...still Joey.
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The animators probably had to hold a strike in order for them to put Yugi in the audience, lets be real. There are TOO MANY PEOPLE in this shot and one is wearing a turban where you draw every single wrap. I hope those artists charged by the line.
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Tea has a subplot where she’s just very frustrated with everyone she knows. They have been traveling together for like many weeks and got trapped in a foreign country so I get it. But at the same time, it’s kind of hard to picture Tea with female friends.
Because right now you got this 12 year old child, the other duelist who does not care about anything besides cards, and Kaiba’s 3 dragon cards that we’ve all collectively decided are female.
Hell it’s almost like the writers are asking themselves why Tea is here. Maybe they forgot. There’s no more ghosts to bus, no more people to knock out with her ass with random Olympic feats. Tea’s just sidelining.
(read more under the cut)
Mokuba is a itty bit bit taller this season, and so I guess that means he can legally climb on top of the cherry picker in order to give a riveting speech.
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Really says a lot about Mokuba that he is so unphased about talking to, I dunno...an entire planet of people. Kind of a shame we never see this courage from Mokuba used for anything other than talking really, really big and giving everyone around him a really hard time.
Mokuba takes a moment to dunk on Yugi Muto, as is Kaiba tradition.
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And then introduce the first pair of duelists, which obviously must be between the few people in this tournament that we actually know and care about.
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Thankfully, in between last episode and this episode, Yugi has figured out who his own Grandpa is. This is a relief, because Yugi is such a mess, that I was fully convinced it would take over half a season for him to recognize it. I mean how long did it take him to figure out he shares a body with a ghost? Like half a season?
Instead Yugi recovered gracefully from not recognizing his grandpa, but it’s not like he bothered to tell anyone else, so the rest of our cast is just gonna be like “Is he my hairdresser? The guy who delivers my mail? Who is this guy who made absolutely no significant changes to his outfit or voice?”
Like sometimes this show goes full Spongebob silly kid’s show and you never know when to take it seriously or not. They might be sacrificing the entire cast next episode. I really don’t know. But for now their big concern is who is grandpa??? Like an innocent card version of “Are you my Mother?”
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Faced with public speaking, Yugi decides to have a melt down.
We have seen him face monsters, we’ve seen him on TV dozens of times, he’s been in multiple competitions...but give a speech? Of course he can’t do that. The kid doesn’t attend enough school to know how to do that. Them’s learning skills.
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And that was when a newly assembled wife-jet spliced through the sky like a souped up razer scooter and deposited 1 fully equipped Seto Kaiba in a Buzz Lightyear jetsuit.
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THE RECOVERY.
Seto always watching over his Brother, ready to save this awkward party if it kills him (and it really should, that suit is held together by two seat-belts), making sure to get on that platform before Yugi starts going off about how he’s half an Ancient Egyptian. (Ah, life before social media. You could just be hella famous and also half a dead dude and people would just not know. I kinda miss the time before I knew literally everything about everyone.)
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Please admire how close those flames are to setting Mokuba’s heavily hairsprayed mane completely alight. It would be an unforgettable spectacle.
These were absolutely just random ass jet packs that Gozaburo Kaiba made to kill hell tons of people, right? Like Seto found it in the family cabin, clutched to the heart of some crispy fried corpse and was like “neat! Mokuba! I found a cool toy!” and just plucked that thing out of that skeleton’s clutches and has been flying around for months?
Like this is Seto Kaiba’s Butter Glider, right?
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Seriously what type of vehicle license do you need for one of these things? RIP My ‘Seto only has a scooter license’ headcanon.
Which I’m only even thinking about because I’ve had to try and make an appt with the DMV for days to get a freakin REAL ID. I went to sleep in 2019 and I could fly on a plane. I woke up in 2021 and it’s like “Want one last screw you?” and just...can 2020 please stop screwing me over? It’s March.
Anyway, the Jet is removed soon after, so no, this is not part of his new outfit. He goes right back to his Post-S4-Trauma-Normcore.
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After wrestling this competition out of his brother’s hands and confusing everyone in the audience, Roland must have gotten the memo to cut the microphone before Seto got too excited and we were quickly ushered on to the next stage of the tournament.
One sec...the BTS Mashup playlist I just clicked on did a Black Swan X 7 rings mashup and it’s the worst thing my ears have ever heard.
Holy crap. I had to actually turn down my volume. Like...Ariana Grande already has music that has way too many overlapping singing parts on it--and then lets just stick a 52-person boy band on top? That’ll fix it. Yeah. Go ahead.
Wow. Even I had to change the song and you know how much I enjoy pop culture mistakes.
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Spot the Mickey but like a million times easier because it’s a Massive Dick Shaped Dragon.
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Yep. That’s my grocery shopping outfit. Except maybe not a lab coat and a duel disk. Wish I had a duel disk, that would make social distancing just a hell ton earlier. Just a “Yo, only one person in checkout, please” and then bap them on the head with a propelled discuss/hologram.
Anyway, Grocery shopping/Doctor man dueled the Purple Hair Boy, and considering that Purple Hair got screen time and shook Yugi’s hand once--I think that Doctor man doesn’t stand a freakin chance.
Good. I hate him.
Also, every time he breathes he’s gonna fog up his glasses. I have experience in this area. He can’t read his own cards in the same way I can’t read my phone if I’m in the refrigerated aisle.
So the way this tournament works, is everyone has to sit in the stadium to watch the show. Kinda like showing up to a football stadium just to watch a recorded TV monitor...but then again...that is how it feels to watch a football game at a football stadium when it’s live (at least with the tickets I usually get.)
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And as we watch Grandpa waiting for his competitor, we find out that his competitor (Joey) is too busy eating snacks to give him the time of day.
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Why do cartoon hot dogs always have lettuce? Is that seriously supposed to be relish? Or is there a place in the world where you put lettuce on your hot dog?
Sorry, bro has just informed of his favorite hot dog order, which is absolutely terrible so I will share it with you: a Five Guys hot dog with ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, onions, mushrooms, pickled peppers, and you guessed it--topped with freakin lettuce.
My own kin. How am I over 30 and just finding out that my baby brother thinks it’s normal to walk into a restaurant with normal god-fearing law-abiding people and order lettuce and mushrooms on a hot dog?
I have fully failed him.
The rest of this episode is watching both Joey Wheeler and Mokuba have a shared panic attack while Seto does freakin nothing.
Please remember that Seto has both a jetpack and a dragon wife plane and could have easily solved this problem. But nah.
Then again, Seto Kaiba has given this crew so MANY rides, that maybe he’s tired of being the Soccer Mom for the team?
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Like they don’t actually say this episode, but Seto was the one in charge of like...this entire place, do you think he made the 2 for 1 special just to get Joey where it hurts the most? Or does it actually not take any subterfuge to screw Joey Wheeler because he’s just naturally this way?
Like Mokuba wasn’t there when Joey was told “stay right here, and then we will all go together to fight Dartz” and Joey was like “I’mma save Mai from herself although she told me not to!” and then he Hella Died. But, Mokuba did see the result, AKA, Joey’s dead body being carried on the back of Tristan. Maybe Mokuba never realized that Joey died because he went out of his way to be late?
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Lets do a tally of every time I can recall with my dodgy memory that Joey was threatened to be DQ’d/pretty much was DQ’d either by his own fault or no fault of his own
-When he wasn’t allowed to go on the boat to Murder Island because he was a stupid nobody kid who did not have a dueling glove
-When he wasn’t actually supposed to be in Pegasus’ tourney and was, in fact, secretly using half of Yugi’s entrance ticket the entire time
-when Bandit Keith stole the ticket that Joey got from Yugi so then Joey had to borrow Mai’s ticket although she had just used it so it really shouldn't have counted. Because, really anyone could have just piggy backed off of each other’s ticket until the whole boat went through that castle.
-When his account was hacked to get entered into Kaiba’s tourney when Kaiba very clearly told him he could not apply solely because he was Joey Wheeler.
-When he was late to his sister’s eye surgery because he got mugged by Marik’s Rare Hunters, so she almost refused to do the surgery.
-When Joey got possessed by Marik, and as Marik, threatened to murder everyone else in the tournament including both of the Kaiba brother’s who’s tournament it was, and then chained himself to Yugi Muto to throw both of them to the bottom of the ocean.
-I think there was a point when he threatened to attack Kaiba in Kaiba’s own tourney while not possessed? Like several times?
-when he got struck by Lightning and almost did not stand up fast enough after being struck by lightning, which is apparently a type of DQ in Duel Monsters.
-When he tried to save Mai from getting hit by a fireball, but then Yugi did it instead, and then so many people were standing on the dueling platform that Kaiba couldn’t possibly DQ them all.
-When he entered the restricted area of the blimp in order to hassle Kaiba into landing the Blimp, which Kaiba did not do.
-When Marik killed Joey before Joey could press the “go” button on his duel disk to play the card that should have won Joey the match.
-When he was dueling a lawyer in a digital universe but then the dice was like...weighted? So Noah had to walk over and be like “The hell is this weighted dice? This is my perfect digital world? How did you even do that?” and then Joey won because the match was no longer legit.
-When Joey yelled at Noah too much and so Noah turned Joey to stone for being a rude ass spectator
-When Mai was like “Wheeler and Valon, listen closely: do NOT murder each other” and then Joey did a murder on Valon so she was like “I guess I have no choice, I was very clear” and killed Joey straight up.
-When Joey decided to block Seto’s fireballs while Joey Wheeler WAS a playing card, somehow disrespecting both Dartz and Seto Kaiba at the same time.
-When Joey was playing cards but then got absorbed into a giant Leviathan and basically couldn’t play anymore after that.
-There’s probably hell ton of S0 stuff I just haven’t seen yet.
-This episode
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And Joey runs fast for a montage of wacky things that really have no business being in a theme park. Things like this:
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(remember when Bakura almost died from a rock that ended up being a balloon? It comes full circle.)
The stuff that the Kaiba brother’s think is normal and fun.
Anyway Joey fights off a bunch of hologram snakes and bats and everyone is like “Should we tell him it’s just holograms???” And it’s like wow, guys, how many times have these ‘holograms’ straight up murdered Joey Wheeler and everyone else on this cast? Too many? Because I have a google doc with so many deaths on it. 7,805,844,048, to be exact.
Anyway, he gets there with five seconds to spare and Mokuba’s like “well at least you were still entertaining while we filmed you in front of a live audience being a total spaz for 15 minutes straight, so I’ll let you go.”
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Grandpa and Joey start playing, Joey completely oblivious that this is just an older Muto, while Hawkins walks up awkwardly and is like “hey guys. I’m so sorry about this.”
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(welcome to my font choices, for those new here, I have to make weird font color choices to make sure it’s legible for the colorblind and also for the non-colorblind. This one is not much contrast, so I may change it up in the future, but for now, this is Grandpa Muto’s new font. I apologize to every graphic designer reading this. Please don’t tell anyone who has ever hired me for graphic design about this blog.)
What’s funny about this exchange is that after they find out that Yugi’s Grandpa is Apdnarg (HOLY my brain cannot get around the spelling for that, and I will not change it in the caps. I cannot do a ‘pdn’ ever again), they don’t stand on his side of the field or anything. Hawkins is legit Solomon Muto’s only fan during this exchange and like...damn. Way not to back your Grandpa, Yugi.
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Yugi immediately strides up to Mokuba to non-confrontation-ally inform him that he has stepped over a line and Mokuba is like “what are these things you say called ‘lines?’”
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According to Mokuba, Solomon Muto begged him to be in the competition so he could relive his glory days (glory days making no sense here, because the game has only been released for the past 15 years, so glory days is like...the before times that can only be referring to disgraced archeologists and Pegasus ((who is, in his own way...a disgraced archeologist, too))) and Mokuba was like
“You trained Yugi Muto, right? Hey that’s good enough for me. This drama is gold. People will eat it up. Hell yes. Don’t be afraid to abduct him a little bit. Maybe trap a couple people in a digital hellscape for a little while? Now we go by Pegasus house rules here, so fire as many lasers as you want, but just make sure not to hit anyone in the face. Oh man, we are going to be swimming in cash. Love it, Muto Sr, love it.”
But I dunno, I feel like Grandpa won’t make it past next episode. It is Joey. We kinda need him to make it past Ep 4 of the arc. If Grandpa Muto becomes the new Joey Wheeler, that will be a weird transition for this show to make.
But that’s all for today, as always, here is the link to read these in chrono order becuase there’s SO MANY that you don’t need to read backwards--don’t do it--just use the chrono tag (and I don’t know if you can add compound tags, but I did separate the Season from the Episode, so if you write S4, it should only pop up stuff from S4. I didn't’ do that to seasons 1-3 though because I just...didn’t.)
https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono
And because I brought it up: here it is, the best BTS Mashup that I found on my deep dive. Like legit--this one isn’t a mess:
youtube
Most of other ones are horrible in a fascinating way. Like I’m not even a BTS fan, I think I sort of age out of that metric, I’m just bored and quarantined. And lets be real, we all appreciate a good bop when we hear it.
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inkykeiji · 3 years
Note
Clari my love I hope you are well 💖
How are you? What have you been up to? I am doing ok right now, I got my first covid vaccination earlier this week which is very exciting - it made me super tired for like a full day tho but I’m just happy to be able to get it <3
Ooo you mentioned dyeing your hair blonde again which I am fully in support for since I’ve been highlighting my hair blonde for like 4 years now - every time before I get it dyed again I say to myself ‘no I’ll grow out my natural hair colour blah blah blah’ and then I have no self restraint and I just dye it again - your hair does sound like it is a super pretty colour tho, I don’t know anyone with strawberry blonde hair but if you wanna re-dye it go for it but also it depends on like the upkeep of hair dyeing
Also I rewatched midsommar and enjoyed it more than I did the first time I watched it and now it is a fave - I watched hereditary when it came out and it scared the shit out of me but I did also enjoy it
Also also Måneskin songs hmmm they have a few songs in English and then obvs some in Italian, I would say my fave in English is For Your Love and one of my faves in Italian (since I love a lot of them) is Lividi Sui Gomiti - if you don’t like them I won’t be offended but I thought you should check them out
I hope your mosquito bite reaction has gotten better, that sounds so shit and painful I’m sorry that you’re dealing with that - I’m v lucky that I am allergic to nothing really so grateful for that
oH I was also gonna ask since I trust your film judgement and taste on reccomendations on films to watch or shows that you enjoy - I’m in a real slump with films and shows atm my brain just does not want to cooperate <3
Anyway I really hope you are well and taking care of yourself, have you got any plans or anything soon? I do also hope you’ve had a good day, as always I’m sending you all my love and hugs <333- 🍯 oh also I was going to say that you don’t have to worry about how long you take to respond, my anons are usually long so I totally get taking longer to get back to them, there is totally no pressure whatsoever to respond in a certain time frame I just wanted to emphasise that anyways I will actually finish typing this now
hello honeybun <333
tw: bit of a vent below the cut, mentions of death
so i know you know what happened last week, because you sent your condolences and all that (thank you again for that, by the way <3 i sincerely appreciate it <3) but on top of our family friend’s tragic passing, life has just been so, so rough lately—with my mental illness and my family in particular. i’d assume that the illness stuff was most likely triggered by the death, which makes sense, but i am so exhausted and so tired of fighting with my own fucking mind it’s unbelievable. and then, yesterday, i witnessed some things i really wish i could’ve stayed ignorant to, and it’s just really fucked me up too. my heart hasn’t stopped pounding all day. BUT, if we’re looking on the bright side (or trying to) the incident yesterday was a very sobering (lmao) slap to the face and a much needed wake up call for me to get a damn move on with getting the hell out of this environment. so that’s propelled me forward and motivated me to really get down to work (it’s just pushing myself to work through the anxiety and illness that’s difficult now haha but i am doing it!!).
EDIT: i had a nice long talk with two of the three most important people in my life (and in this situation in particular, too!) and i’m feeling a little better now <3
yes!!! i’ve actually changed my mind now LMAO because i’d like to use that money towards leaving. my roots have grown out past my chin, so when they get a little longer i will be forced to (very sadly :c) chop all of the dyed hair off. i haven’t had my natural colour in a LONG time, so this is kind of odd haha. originally i was going to redye it pink!! but the upkeep is an absolute nightmare and i just can’t right now lmao. yeah idk!! it’s a really odd colour, my natural hair, but it might be refreshing to be back to it again after so many years, i dunno!!!
YAAAY i’m so glad to hear that!!!!! it’s such an incredible film i could literally go on about it forever aaaaah hehehe and HEREDITARY IS FUCKING TERRIFYING LIKE i cannot watch that movie on my own truly i can’t. it’s so unsettling in such a fun way!!!
i haven’t listened to them yet, but i will soon, pinky promise!! i just saw someone else talking about them too and i was like oh hey it’s that band honey anon told me about LMAO
my mosquito bite has healed, thankfully!!! it’s just a bruise on my ankle now hehe but the ickiest parts are over <3 OOOH films okay so! someone asked a similar question and i am going to link you to my answer (which has more links) right here, but if you’ve ever got any more specific recs that you’re looking for (genre, era etc) pls let me know!!!! i love discussing film hehehe <3
no plans as of yet; i have a lot of SUPER exciting things in the works and two of them are like !!!!!!! thiiiiis close to being ready and i cannot wait to share them with you all!! i love you so much honey, truly and sincerely, thank you for being here for me, for sending me such thoughtful messages and just for talking to me in general. it all means so much to me <3 i hope you are taking care of yourself my sweet friend!!!
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nerianasims · 3 years
Text
Billboard #1s 1984
Under the cut.
Yes -- "Owner of a Lonely Heart" -- January 21, 1984
The full version of this song is way too long. Not surprising from a former prog rock band. The music is good and interesting, but it loses me before the end even in the shorter single version. There's too much stuff. As for the lyrics, maybe that prog rock gloss made people think they were profound, but they look like self-help. Some incredibly 80s Reagan-era individualism, better to be alone than to be hurt, you're the only one you can count on, blah blah blah. Not for me. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Culture Club -- "Karma Chameleon" -- February 4, 1984
The video to this song has nothing to do with it, unless there's supposed to be a connection between the con artist on the fantasy world 19th century steamboat and the guy who keeps coming and going whom Boy George is singing to. And I didn't fully realize the "you come and go" double entendre until just now. I like the video, anyway. And I like the song quite a bit. It's a very cheerful-sounding song about being strung along by some asshole.
Van Halen -- "Jump" -- February 25, 1984
Van Halen was something boys were into. It's weird how we delineate these things. At least back in 1984, if it got coded as a boy thing, then if you were a girl and also found it interesting, you'd damn well better hide it or certain other more socially powerful kids would tear you to shreds. That was my experience, anyway. (And if other girls were into it and you were not, you were also in serious trouble.) So though when I heard Van Halen songs I thought, "hm, I'm intrigued," I did not dare pursue that interest. Except for this song. This one was allowed. It's fun.
Kenny Loggins -- "Footloose" -- March 31, 1984
Footloose is a pretty good movie. At least I remember it being so when I eventually saw it in college in the 90s. Anything that stands against censorship, and for art and people having fun, already has an in with me. Also Kevin Bacon's great. The song isn't about the movie particularly; it's just about how dancing is wonderful. Though there is a hint at the movie: "You're playing so cool/ Obeying every rule/ Deep way down in your heart/ You're burning yearning for some/ Somebody to tell you/ That life ain't passing you by/ I'm trying to tell you/ It will if you don't even try." Yeah. Agatha Christie at one point lamented that young people in the 1950s were far too serious and self-righteous, and really needed to go dance in fountains. I feel the same now as she did then. Though wait until after the covid vaccine's been widely taken. Anyway, this is a good dance song.
Phil Collins -- "Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)" -- April 21, 1984
It's a lament about being dumped. Apparently, Collins wrote it about his wife leaving him out of the blue, taking the kids and the dog with her. Ouch. There's a great drum part, which keeps the song from being too boring, but I still don't like it. Phil Collins' serious love/heartbreak songs don't do it for me. I find this one depressing without being cathartic.
Lionel Richie -- "Hello" -- May 12, 1984
I remember this video from when it was on the air. Mostly because of the Lionel Richie clay head. But also because I was like... is she his student? Isn't that a bad thing? Even though she's an adult in college, I still thought you weren't supposed to do that? I've had a major squick against teacher/student relationships, even in fiction, since I was a kid. Possibly this is because I come from a family of professors. (I didn't get a PhD and am therefore the black sheep.) Without reference to the video, the song is terrible. The lyrics are just repetitive cheese, whatever, but the song is so slow and blah and I don't like Lionel Richie's singing.
Deniece Williams -- "Let's Hear It For the Boy" -- May 26, 1984
I keep being surprised that there are people who think someone is worthless if they don't have a lot of money and don't dress fashionably. In this song, the titular boy also can't dance, but is that a thing that people get dinged for in reality? I don't know, maybe. This song was in Footloose, and it's the same sentiment as "My Guy"; her boy isn't some smooth-talking rich brat, but "he's my lovin' one-man show." He's like Edward Ferrars, not Willoughby. It's a fun song.
Cyndi Lauper -- "Time After Time" -- June 9, 1984
This is one of the greatest songs ever. Not just pop songs. Any song, of any type.
Duran Duran -- "The Reflex" -- June 23, 1984
These lyrics make no sense. That doesn't matter for this song much, which is all about the music. Which is not the best of Duran Duran's music. For all the many, many, MANY different musical ideas in it, it's actually kinda boring. They'd have done better to simplify. I imagine this sounds something like cocaine feels, though drinking way too many Mountain Dews to pull an all-nighter's my only comparison. Duran Duran were never my favorite, but I do enjoy many of their songs. This one, meh.
Prince -- "When Doves Cry" -- July 7, 1984
Prince only two songs after Cyndi Lauper? Is it my birthday? The song's lyrics start out being about the amazing chemistry between the narrator and "you." That establishes why they're together. Then Prince moves on to how they "scream at each other," and it's what it sounds like "when doves cry." He's accusatory -- "How could you just leave me standing/ Alone in a world so cold?" But then he goes right into thinking maybe it's his fault: "Maybe I'm just too demanding" etc. It's a sexy, thoughtful, and anguished song about a relationship in trouble. I like to think they'll overcome their problems and stop screaming at each other. Trust me, it's very possible. Also the music is great.
Ray Parker Jr. -- "Ghostbusters" -- August 11, 1984
Um. I have no idea how to evaluate this one. I heard it first in the theatre when I saw the movie, but I heard it years after every week when I watched the cartoon. It just... is.
Tina Turner -- "What's Love Got To Do With It" -- September 1, 1984
I have an overwhelming memory of hearing this song when I was alone in the grocery store as a teenager. I have no idea why the memory's so strong. Maybe it was the first time I went to the grocery store by myself? Maybe I ran into a guy I had a huge crush on, though I don't remember that? (If I was 16, that could have been one of any three guys... Romance is my secondary aspiration, after all.) In any case, it's a good song. The attempt to pretend love is a bunch of chemicals and doesn't truly matter is a pretty common one for the broken-hearted. And Tina Turner's great as always.
John Waite -- "Missing You" -- September 22, 1984
Two songs in a row about being in denial over matters of love. Interesting. This isn't the most fascinating song ever, but it's a good solid song about heartbreak that isn't gloopy at all. In the main vocals, Waite keeps insisting "I ain't missing you," but in the background is a soft voice that sings "missing you" over and over. That's a smart artistic move.
Prince and the Revolution -- "Let's Go Crazy" -- September 29, 1984
I liked a lot of pop music when I was 7, but I didn't get Prince. His songs sort of slid out of my brain as a "thing for grownups," and who could understand grownups? He was short and wore fancy outfits, and that's about all that registered. When I hit puberty, though... yeah. This song is more adult than that, though, and I don't mean sexually, though there is plenty of sex in this song. "You better live now/ Before the grim reaper come knocking on your door." The song is about sex, partying, and death. Also Prince was an astonishing guitarist, along with everything else. It's not one of my favorite Prince songs, because the lyrics are pretty depressing and it's super loud, but it's still great.
Stevie Wonder -- "I Just Called To Say I Love You" -- October 13, 1984
I never really listened to the background beep-de-boops in this song before. I've wondered before why this song, with its simple lyrics and melody, didn't bore me. It's the beep-de-boops. They, along with Stevie Wonder's perfect delivery, make this song musically complex. And the simple lyrics, with the more complex musical counterpoints, absolutely work. It helps that this is the kind of thing people really do.
Billy Ocean -- "Caribbean Queen" -- November 3, 1984
That heavy breathing after the line "I get so excited just from her perfume" is unfortunate. Otherwise, it's a song about how he met this "Caribbean Queen" on vacation and she "tamed" him so he's no longer looking for "love on the run." Sure, why not. I'd like a little more story to it, but that's me. It's got a good beat though, and is enjoyable enough as-is.
Wham! -- "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" -- November 17, 1984
I just realized I don't like this song. The beat and hook are sort of irresistible, and as a dance song the music absolutely works. But there's too much nostalgia about stuff that George Michael actually wasn't old enough to be nostalgic about. He was only 21 at the time, born in 1963, and yet he was singing about Doris Day. You can homage anything at any age, but... meh. And speaking of age, it's kind of a childish song and George Michael's voice was always more on the mature end, even if he was young at the time. For me, it hits a jarring note.
Daryl Hall & John Oates -- "Out of Touch" -- December 8, 1984
The beginning makes it sound like this is gonna be a relatively hard rock song, but that ends after a pretty short time. It's still really loud, with huge drums, and Hall pretty much shouts the song. Hall & Oates were great when they stripped stuff down. All this noise doesn't work for them. There are neat parts when all the noise suddenly stops and there's total silence, but then it goes right back to the rather uninteresting loudness. Not for me.
Madonna -- "Like A Virgin" -- December 22, 1984
And so it begins. Backstory: Madonna went to the same high school as my mother. She was friends (maybe more? he won't talk) with one of my uncles. When my grandmother saw the Like A Virgin album on the rack at the store, she said, "I'm so glad [he] didn't marry that girl." When my mother told me that, my reaction was "Are you kidding? We'd be rich!" But my family cares about PhDs and not money. My uncle ran wild in high school, but eventually became a successful career diplomat (and stopped being a jackass) after the woman he was in love with told him he'd better shape up or else. Also he looks a lot like Guy Ritchie, so that was weird for a while. I'd be in the grocery store and for a second think, "Why's my uncle on The Enquirer with Madonna?"
So anyway, the song. The way Madonna sang it in later iterations, I like it. I can't stand the version that became a #1 hit. The Betty Boop voice is just ugh. I love a lot of Madonna's music, and she would be something of an inspiration to me in later days, with her unapologetic persona as a woman who liked and wanted sex -- and enjoyed shocking the censorious -- but I was 8 at the time. I didn't get any of it, I just knew she sounded squeaky in this song and it bugged me.
BEST OF 1984: "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper. WORST OF 1984: "Hello" by Lionel Richie
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animaniacs - s4e8: mindy in wonderland
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episode summary: a lighthearted episode about mindy chasing a rabbit down a hole in the tree she’s always tied to, and ending up in a magical, literary dreamland. there’s no mice, but it’s fun, and takes up the whole runtime, and-- what? no, i-- look, it’s just-- i don’t--
sir, you don’t pay me at all--
alright fine ugh ughghghguhgughgu ugh.
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great.
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episode summary: the hip hippos are expecting a baby! unfortunately, ordering babies off the internet instead of concieving them through, like, hippo sex? appears to have its’ downsides, and instead they are presented with.... brain.
look, i don’t know either, okay? i’m dragging my hands down my face as we speak.
the rundown:
we open with the stork.
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“i got a very special delivery! the rockefellers have been waiting weeks for this one.” he pronounces it “spatial”, probably because he’s high out of his mind. this is not a sober bird. please don’t drop that baby, my dude. that’s going to cause more problems than it solves, really.
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spoke too soon, i guess.
unfortunately for him, our dude does exactly that, and ends up taking a bit of a tumble. gets all dizzy. this does not bode well for the plot. or the wellbeing of the baby, actually!
hold up. computer, zoom, enhance.
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hmmm. that is a very familiar tiny face. troubling. anyway our resident avian expert on drugs seems to have survived his accident, and drops the baby off to the rockefellers with no further trouble.
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they seem to look more. hippo shaped than usual.
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“congratulations! you’re new parents!”
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you’re welcome, weird stoner bird. they slam the door on him, wordlessly exacerbating his injuries. they care not for his plight, only that of their dearest, darling... not very.... hippo sized...................... baby.
hm.
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“oh flavio! darling! a baby of our own, just look at him! let us call him--”
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“--alfredo!”
“goo.”
alright. as existentially horrifying as this episode is, i laughed. maurice lemarche, completely dead in the face, sits in the recording booth, stretches his shoulders. “goo.” he says. deadpan. no intonation whatsoever. the audience cheers and he is given a thousand dollars.
i don’t know what it is about brain saying basically anything that appeals to my sense of humour so much. jockey for position basically did me in. i just. every time he says “goo.” i am in TEARS.
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the hippos seem to have lost their enthusiasm, as anyone would have if they heard the voice of a grown man come out of their newborn baby.
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“he’s... small. very small.”
“goo.”
still, marita sympathises with him. this is very definitely her child, after all! she steals him away to do mom things with, chastising flavio that ‘alfredo’ is “their little boy.”
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“oh, you are right, my lightbulb of love. now our little universe has expanded to three.”
yeah, don’t include your.... shoulder... birds, then. asshole.
it’s very cute, i’ll say that. for all the fuss i make about the hippos, they do love each other, in a very healthy way that you don’t often see with married couples on tv. like, they’re kind of slowdancing their way out of the room. it’s nice! they would make good parents.
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(”goo.” says brain, in the background, oblivious to the heterosexuality happening around him. “now, take me to my money.”)
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credit to flavio and marita; they are very well prepared. this is a very loved baby. i’m not entirely sure how any child would feel about the presence of Clown Bear, but it’s the thought that counts. also i know that’s a changing table? but the design is sick and i wouldn’t mind a chest of drawers like that.
there’s also a theatre, i guess. or..... maybe just a really fancy shower???
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Definitely Alfredo is gently placed on his little Alfredo Table. he appears to be asleep, or at least he’s deliberately choosing to keep his eyes closed. can’t think why.
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but he, ah. sure went all out for this one. i respect brain for his dedication to the craft.
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“now, sweet baby alfredo,” says marita, while the music does a terrifying swell in the background, for some reason, “it is time for your first bath.”
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please stop looking at me like that, marita. YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO BATHING. am i about to be inducted into the alfredo cult?? i am, admittedly, a manlet, but i would like to think i am also unmistakably larger than a baby hippo.
(google has no data about the height of a baby hippo, apparently. they do weigh about 100lbs at birth, though, so i guess i have to be careful with this losing weight shtick. not that i’m ever gonna weigh 100lbs, quite frankly, but the minute i do marita’s gonna climb through my window and steal me off to los angeles.)
(i’m terrified.) (on the other hand, they’re definitely going to give me back as soon as they work out how much my medication costs over there.)
i’m literally babbling nonsense, at this point. anyway. brain gets a bath.
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remember to Wosh U Mouse. wash he teeth and soul. marita proclaims excitedly that “babies love the bath”, and Definitely Alfredo is Definitely Enjoying Himself, judging by the screaming, so, yknow, good for him.
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and then, i guess, flavio just pours boiling water on him for no reason, so brain freaks out and launches himself into the light fitting.
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because wouldn’t anybody?
the hippos freak out a bit when the lights stop working, but soon get brain back down to resume their usual Alfredo Activities.
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“this is highly undignified.”
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but still, marita loves him.
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and then she stabs him in the dick, i guess.
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“GAH.”
“oops ):”
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fortunately, nobody ever died of getting stabbed in the dick (as far as i know?) but even magical babies delivered by amazon need to get their vitals checked, so flavita take him to the hospital anyway.
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bomf.
i’ll be dead honest with you, this scene is just torture porn. i’ll summarise it as best i can.
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temperature is fine. blood pressure is normal. i am pretty sure inflating babies is not standard medical practice, but brain is cosmically unable to have a good day or he dies, i guess.
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the doctor shows up.
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“oh, but you’re a cutie. say aaaah.”
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“if you think that you’re going to stick that thing in my--”
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it’s not very comfortable.
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“hmm. rather puny.”
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“you have to feed him more.”
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NOW LET’S TEST YOUR REFLEXES
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i’m pretty sure this man has never been to medical school.
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“and now to vaccinate. my, that’s a lot of zeros.”
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my, that’s a... screenshot that lives on my laptop now, i guess. hopefully nobody i know ever has to borrow this thing, for whatever reason.
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“i’ll see you in three months for a booster shot,” says dr acme, as brain swells and changes colours in a way that no baby ever should.
i feel like this is a good time to interject - my issue with this episode is not the core themes, or anything surrounding them. it’s the amount of unrestrained suffering that goes on within that. like. okay. if this was some kind of consensual dynamic between the three of them for-- whatever reason???? stress?????? - like i wouldn’t mind. i wouldn’t care. consenting adults can do whatever they want with their bodies. this is a positive space. no judgement here on pinkys fault or brains fault dot com.
but it’s not and brain spends most of the episode in pain and terrified and that’s really what i object to above all else. it’s the same problem i have with peatb, really. brain can wear as many cute dresses as he wants, but he’s gotta want to wear them.
but they’re back at the Hippo Digs now so. it’s fine, i guess.
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“such a good boy. that trip to the doctor wasn’t so bad, was it?”
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hm.
still, it appears i can never escape Terrifying News Lady, even in this hellscape. flavio does the classic dad thing of sitting down with the tv as soon as he’s home, leaving marita to deal with getting Definitely Alfredo settled in his correctly-sized-for-a-baby-hippo baby chair.
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what are those straps connected to, anyway??? it’s not the chair, that’s for sure. is brain just wearing a harness for the hell of it? what on earth is going on?
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but flavio! it’s time to feed the baby!
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“is baby-waby hungry-wungry?” well are you, cranky big head mousie??? huh????
sorry for the paralysing fear that probably caused all of you. undeterred, the terrifying news lady continues to talk in the background about the “richest and most influential child in the world.”
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oh no.
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oh no.
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flavio vaguely wonders if they waited too long to feed their baby, as he has what could be possibly classified as a tantrum.
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“you sophomoric, corpulent, pachycerebal aristrocrats! you are imposters and i demand to be taken to the rockefellers immediately!”
the birds don’t care. they’re chilling. marita attributes this to “baby gibberish” while flavio wonders about the “vocabulary he learnt from mr rogers”. he’s maybe a few hours old, at this point, a day tops, but i guess hippos learn latin in pre-k or something.
anyway so then they stick a tube down his throat and inflate him with guacamole.
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and with that, “alfredo looks healthier already!”
this is the second time brain has been inflated in this episode. it is unsurprising that he dedicates his nights from this point to raising absolute hell.
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but he needs pats first because he ate too much. :<
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cut to that night, i guess! where brain is very convincingly crying. very loudly. the hippos look unimpressed, despite the fact that this is literally the most common factor of signing up for a baby.
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“it’s the baby. you take care of him.”
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well. alright.
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air mouse. nyoom. he seems to catapult himself at something, like, once per episode. it’s on par with the closeups by now, surely.
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bomp.
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unfortunately, the bear is not weightbearing (bear ing. lol) and falls off the shelf on an epic quest for a Great Big Hug.
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the resulting bomp alerts the hippos, who go fully, entirely haywire the moment they work out that Definitely Alfredo is not in his correctly-sized-for-a-baby-hippo baby bed.
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turns out flavio sat on him.
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“really, flavio, be more careful where you sit.”
so they put a padlock on his crib.
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this is completely useless. i know this. brain knows this. he’s small enough to just... fit through the bars. but he decides to be dramatic, instead, because that’s what he does best.
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“attica! attica! i want out! let me out!”
i am not old enough to get this reference.
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i am, however, old enough to empathise with this exact emotion. i feel kind of bad for the hippos, actually. i’m sure they were doing what they thought was... right? in the context of... thinking they had a baby hippo rather than an adult mouse. easy mistake to make. i go check on my weirdly tiny hippos in their hippo cage all the time.
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but who could be at the door?
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“there seems to have been a mix up. uh. i have your baby right here.”
and guys?
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i need to tell you how fast they just throw brain at the guy. it’s actually a little heartbreaking.
but! it’s okay! he still has time to make it to the rockefellers before they......... die. i guess.
man, this plan was not thought out very well.
conclusion:
thank god this is almost over.
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the stork repackages the baby, who is now a good few hours old, at least, and delivers the bundle to the very, very different looking house.
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they are not any nicer.
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“oh, reggie. just look at him.”
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“goo.”
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“well, frau haussenheffer, we’re off on a cruise. goodbye baby. see you in a year.”
parenting!
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“alright then. staff, we have a brand new charge.”
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oh dear.
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brain, as one can imagine, is having none of this.
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but unfortunately, neither is the carpet.
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bomp. cause of death: suffocating in the rockefeller mansion carpet.
good thing it all sort of blurs out, huh.
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“brain?” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA “brain.” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA “brain, wake up.”
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“i was dreaming?”
oh, thank god for that.
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“oh, pinky, you wouldn’t believe the nightmare i had.” and it’s... probably best not to tell him, actually.
“it must have been a doozy, brain! but, oh, a delivery came for you.”
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“it’s the rockefeller baby. can we keep it?”
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oh dear.
so let’s ignore the fact that this asks more questions than it answers-- but okay, was that a dream within a dream, and why was brain dreaming about that in the first place, and-- and mark this one down as a severe case of outside influence.
brain: 3 ½ pinky: 5 ½ outside influence: 10
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“it’s not too late. i demand that you deliver me to the rockefellers immediately!”
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“aw, how cute. i just love baby gibberish.”
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Chapter 19
“Sir?” Jonah raised his head from his computer, frowning as he saw Emily. The young woman seemed worried about something. “May I come in?”
He softened his face a bit. “Of course.” Emily nodded, coming into the room and sitting down in front of her boss’ desk. Jonah took his hands away from the keyboard, folding them over his desk. “What’s wrong? Are you afraid Monarch knows of our headquarters’ position?”
“No! No, it’s not about that.” Following Florès’ exposing of their takeover of Outpost 32 to the military, the Titan Liberation Front had had to leave in an emergency, coming back to their base in Boston. It had quickly been followed by Emily doing a quadruple check of the security system.
The only trace from Florès she had found was an encoded message on a Word document that hadn’t been there before.
Remember, Jonah doesn’t trust you...
“Well then, what is it about?”
“... are you sure waking all the Titans is the way to go?” Emily asked, frowning. When Jonah narrowed his eyes, she quickly tried to correct herself. “I-I mean I know they’re the only ones who can save the planet at this point and that not waking them would just delay the inevitable, b- but what if when we free all of them, we end up regressing back to the Stone Age-”
“Emmy.” Jonah suddenly cut her off. She flinched away. Emmy was a nickname her parents had given her before they had died. Jonah was pretty much the only person close to her who was still allowed to use it. “Why are you so worried? Humanity going back to a time were they held no impact on the planet is an ideal scenario.”
“I- it’s not just about that... it’s Ghidorah.” She started. “It’s- they’re not from Earth, they’re not going to restore the planet- they’re destroying it- it’s not going to be the co-existence you told me about, they’re a walking extinction event-”
“Kane.” Jonah started, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Are you telling me you’re having second doubts now? You were fine with millions of people dying, but you’re going to draw the line at billions of people dying?”
“That’s not what I said-”
“If we’re a sickness,” Jonah started, circling his desk, “and the Earth Titans are a fever, then Ghidorah is both the cure and the vaccine. It doesn’t matter what our intentions are: what’s important is that humans won’t be able to rise up again once they’re done, and the planet will only benefit from it. Do you understand?”
“... yes, sir.”
 “And if we do live to see this mass extinction event through...” He placed his hand on Emily’s shoulder, making her flinch. “I trust you and your talents will help us out, yes?” Jonah smiled down reassuringly at her, patting her shoulder.
... And you shouldn’t trust him.
Emily hesitantly nodded, remembering the message Florès had left her. “O- of course, sir.”
-
“You want me to teach you how to absorb energy?” Rodan nodded, San turning away from the coast to look at him instead, still not getting up. The sun was starting to set, and Ghidorah had made it very clear they were fascinated with the sky and the objects in it. There was also the fact they drew most of their energy from it. “Any reason why this sprang up?”
“I’m having difficulties finding food, and your brother mentioned you could teach me how to do it.” Rodan explained, sitting down and craning his neck up to look at San. “Something about being more spiritual.”
San nodded. “That is true. Ichi’s too clinical, and Ni convinced himself that if he allows himself to be vulnerable, he’ll die.” There was a pause. “Either way, neither can meditate if I’m not here. Can you absorb energy on your own, like, consciously?”
“Not consciously, I just start doing it automatically the moment I submerge myself in lava.”
“Partially, or fully?”
“Both. The more I’m submerged, the easier it is.”
San nodded. “Alright, that means you’re the unconscious type. We’re gonna try to meditate, okay? Okay. I want you to close your eyes, and breath in a pattern: 4 seconds in, 4 seconds hold, 8 seconds out. You think you can do it?”
“Yeah, I’m not an idiot.” Rodan hissed out, San giggling to himself before closing his eyes. Rodan watched the taller one do it a few times, before attempting himself. He started taking a deep breath. 1, 2- Heat, too much heat, feathers burned off, scalp burning, sides of mouth splitting, veins bursting, eyes burning, heart burning, too much light, no noise, nothing, lost everything-
“Hey, hey.” Rodan opened his eyes, craning his neck up to look at San. The blond had a worried look on his face. “You weren’t able to get it in. What went wrong?”
“I felt like I was burning from the inside out.” Rodan wheezed out in a shaky tone, before stopping and taking a moment to gather himself. When he spoke again, his voice was steadier. “Am I supposed to feel like I’m losing control of my powers?”
“You’re not. Probably. I don’t feel like I’m getting struck by lightning when I meditate, but I do feel like I’m floating... You said you felt like you were burning, right...?” San seemed to think for a moment, before holding his hands out. “Take my hands.”
“... alright?” Rodan hesitantly put his hands in San’s. He shuddered. Apparently, the cold from the ice had seeped into their very being. It felt as if frost spread were his hands touched San’s. Long fingers curled around his hands, and he shivered as he felt a shock run through his body.
“If you start feeling too hot again, focus on my hands, alright?” Rodan nodded, closing his eyes again as he took a deep breath. 1, 2- liquid fire in his lungs, in his heart, can’t breath, can’t talk, all alone- he squeezed San’s hands, all cold and long fingers and letting off small shocks each time they moved- shaky 3, steady 4. He opened one eye as they held their breath in, but quickly closed it again when he saw San’s were still closed. He let it out, and San giggled. “See? You did it!”
“Y- yeah.” Rodan couldn’t help but blush. “I guess I did. What now?”
“We continue. Try to find your own rhythm. I’ll follow you.” Rodan nodded, resuming the exercise as they slowly adapted to his own breathing- which was more along the lines of 5,3,8. He could practically hear his own heart beating, how the magma flowed in his veins. Slowly everything seemed to fade away, the only thing left being the hands he held. “Rodan?”
“Mmm?”
“Open your eyes.” Rodan carefully opened one eye, before looking around in confusion.
They weren’t on Mara anymore. The sky had become whirls of color he couldn’t put a name on, and the ground a flat expense of white sand covered by a thing layer of water. Thousands upon thousands of stars filled the sky. Rodan blinked in confusion. “What the...?”
“What, first trip to the Soul Realm?” Rodan turned toward San, and screamed in surprise, letting go of his hands. Instead of San, there was now a vaguely San-shaped golden floaty thing in front of him, three pairs of round white eyes staring at him.
“Wh- San!?” He exclaimed in surprise, the spirit nodding. “What happened? Where are we? Where did Mara go? Why do you look like that-”
“One question at a time, okay? First, we’re meditating. This is what happens when you successfully separate your soul from your body. This is the Soul Realm, or the place between life and death. Mara didn’t go anywhere, in fact our bodies are still on it, alive and soaking in energy. And I look like that because that’s what my soul is like.”
Rodan groaned. “Great. And I thought the moth’s whole deal was weird...”
San giggled. “Don’t be like that, fire bird. I mean, look at you! You’re practically wrapped in fire!”
“What are you talking about- woah!” Rodan looked at his hands. His sleeves had been replaced by feathers of fire, dragging after him like a train as he got up. He slowly moved his arms, watching the flames move in synch.
He slowly started laughing, running around in circles and watching the fire around him grow larger, brighter, encompassing him. He distantly registered San laughing along or telling him to spin as he danced around, but he complied anyway, flames growing with each gleeful pirouette he did.
“You’re even brighter than the precious Fire guardian!” Rodan came to a halt at that, the flow of flames around him dying. San tilted his head at that, Round eyes becoming ovals in an imitation of confusion. “What’s wrong?”
“... Quetz had similar flames?”
“Oh yeah!” San cheerfully said, seemingly obvious to Rodan’s distress. “She was really something to behold. A bloodlust that nearly rivals Ni’s, a flawless defense in her attack, and a passion-”
“-That shined brighter than the sun could ever hope to.” Rodan finished, his voice breaking a bit on that.
San tilted his head in curiosity. “... are you sure you’re alright? Each time the former Guardian of fire comes up, you get really sad.” Rodan said nothing, simply maintaining his lack of eye contact. “With how you and your people’s hierarchy work, I thought you’d be happy about a runt like you getting close to the top of the food chain-”
Rodan’s flames flared up again, this time in anger as he screeched. “WHY WOULD I BE HAPPY ABOUT MY MATE DYING-” The flame went back to a smolder as he realized in horror what he had just blurted out. There was no way they wouldn’t try to use that against him-
San looked impassive, but what he said sounded... horrified? “You... your mate died and you ended up taking her place!?”
“I- I don’t know why it happened either-” Rodan started, the pent-up frustration and anxiety and despair that had accumulated and festered over the years starting to come out as yellow flames started surrounding them. “It’s just- we were trying to start a family and one of the attempts finally took- and before I knew it the volcano we nested in erupted and we lost the eggs and I lost a wing and she choked on the smoke and I tried to join them but Terra wouldn’t let me die-”
Rodan came to a halt as he felt two hands come up to his face. San was looking down at him, all three pair of eyes narrowed. “How cruel.” He blankly stated. “Instead of letting you join her, your god- Terra, is it?- has decided to throw her death right in your face by making you her successor... are you not angry at her?”
Rodan grabbed San by the wrists, taking his hands away from his face. “Why do you care? It’s not like you ever lost anyone dear to you.”
“I have, actually.” Rodan’s eyes widened in surprise. He would’ve called bullshit, but something about San when he said it made him seem more... vulnerable. “Back when we lived in space. He often helped us, we had similar point of views, and he was very fun to be around. A bit similar to you, really. Losing him so suddenly is what drove us to come here.”
“Oh.” Rodan took a hold of San’s hand, squeezing reassuringly. “I’m so sorry for your loss... was his death brutal, or... ?”
“Oh, he didn’t die, firebird.” San started ominously, standing to his full height. “He betrayed us.”
“W- what?” Rodan’s eyes widened in horror. As far as he was concerned, once mated, you essentially pledged your very being to that person. And while a relationship between mates could die if given enough time, betraying them before breaking off was never an option. “Why would he do that!?”
“Weaker beings are afraid of what they don’t understand, and we are very hard to understand.” San stated, his voice back to it’s dissonant cheerfulness. “I mean, I’m very sure you’ve seen quite a few humans who didn’t like Titans and wanted them dead-”
Rodan didn’t process what came out of San’s mouth next. He was too focused by his arms breaking off, separated from his shoulders by tiny black, pointy sticks. He opened his mouth to scream, only for more sticks to lodge themselves in his lips and throat, chocking off any sounds that would come out of it. As those sticks started tearing into his chest, is vision went blurry, the entire world around him melding in a sick spiral of colors, gold at it’s center.
“Rodan!? RODAN! OPEN YOUR EYES!!!” Rodan opened his eyes, eyes turned to the ground and whole body shaking as he hyperventilated. He was back in the real world. ‘Hey, hey, it’s fine, you’re fine, there’s no danger- Look at me.” He slowly looked up. The light of the mostly set sun was casting strange, moving shadows on San, his glowing red eyes amplifying the strangeness of his sharp features. “What’s wrong?”
“C- Can’t breath-”
San frowned. “Breath, then.” He sang, his voice echoing onto itself.
Rodan didn’t know why he wasn’t ignoring the Ghidorah’s songs. Hell, they were the whole reason he had built up his immunity to all Calls, thanks in no small part to hanging out with Godzilla so much. But that didn’t mean he didn’t feel the pull of it. And he was too shaken to not listen right now. He took in a large gulp of air, breathing in short, quick bursts as San held onto his hands.
“Do you want to talk about what that was about?” San asked, tilting his head. Rodan shook his head. Revealing his relationship with Quetzalcoatl could’ve gone wrong very fast, and he attributed San having someone similar to a pure stroke of luck on his part. There was no way Ghidorah could’ve ever been hurt by beings so much smaller and weaker than them. He hoped the other wouldn’t push it.
But San just nodded, letting go of Rodan’s hands and gently bending forward as his breathing calmed down. It’s then he realized. “It worked.”
San blinked in confusion. “Uh?”
“The meditation, it worked!” Rodan cheerfully exclaimed, pushing his earlier thoughts in a corner of his mind. “I feel stronger then befo-”
“Rodan.”
“GAH!” Rodan turned his head, only to see Ni staring down at him and San. “I told you not to sneak up on me like that!”
Ni simply shrugged in indifference. “You’ll get used to it.”
“Oh, hi Ni!” Ni nodded at San, before kneeling down, facing Rodan.
“I found something you might like.” Ni told him, handing him a handful of something. Rodan’s eyes widening in surprise when he realized it was a handful of small roots, nuts and grains. “You told me you couldn’t eat the fish around the island anymore, so I tried to find something you could eat in the human settlement. It’s not a lot, but it should be better than rotten fish.”
Rodan smiled, bringing the handful of food to his mouth and swallowing. He then turned toward Ni, his face glowing a bit. “And it is. Thank you, Ni.”
Ni frowned, bringing a hand to Rodan’s face. “Are you sure you’re fine? Blood keeps rushing to your face.”
That snapped Rodan out of his relaxed state of mind. He jumped up, the flush growing bigger as he did so. “Of course I’m fine, whywouldntIbefine-”
“Rodan, it’s fine, sit down-”
“AnywayitsgettinglateandIneedtosleepgoodnight!” Rodan exclaimed, followed by a strong wind that carried him off to the top of his volcano. Ni and San could see his silhouette collapse at the top of it, followed by a strange, quiet shriek.
San turned toward his brother, smiling. “Good idea to find him food!”
Ni blinked. “I didn’t think my efforts to make him like me were working.” When San gave him a confused frown, he shrugged. “Each time I try to be nice to him, he keeps getting... flustered. Embarrassed. That’s not a good thing.”
“... He’s touched.” San blankly stated. “You keep giving him gifts, Ni. Of course he’s gonna keep blushing.”
“How did you figure out he needed food?” The two turned toward Ichi, who they knew had been watching them for a time.
San waved as their older brother sat down. “Hi brother Ichi!”
“He... told me?” Ni tried hesitantly. “It’s why I told him to talk to San. So he could learn to absorb energy without soaking himself in lava. Help him stay not weak.”
Ichi nodded. “Either way, good job. The both of you.” Ni sighed in relief and San beamed at the praise. His good mood only improved as Ichi pat him on the head. “If we continue like that, we’ll be out of this place sooner than later.”
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mnthpprt · 4 years
Text
Chapter 44: Truth And Dare
[WARNING: NSFW]
We spend the rest of the day in an odd sort of domestic bliss. William has been writing in his bedroom, and I have have been reading in mine. I get up from the bed when I hear his door open and close, only to find Puck in the hallway, pawing at the wood. He must have gotten kicked out for distracting William.
I scoop the bunny into my arms and make my way to the kitchen, where I make myself a sandwich with some cheese I find wrapped in cloth in a cupboard, and sit down to eat it along with some rouge.
“No, bichito, you can’t eat this,” I tell Puck when he climbs onto my lap to sniff the bread. “What is it? Are you hungry?” He wiggles his nose and stares at me with beady eyes, but does not give up his pursuit of my sandwich. “Okay,” I sigh, standing up again. I leave my food on the tall kitchen counter, out of the rabbit’s reach, and rummage around the kitchen for something to give him.
I give up soon enough, unable to find any vegetables, and opt to ask William for instructions. I noticed the little garden at the back of the house, and figured he must use it to feed Puck, but I want to make sure.
He opens the door quickly after I knock. It takes me a second to remember what I wanted to say. We have not talked about this morning. In fact, it’s like it never happened at all. It’s... strange, to say the least, even uncomfortable, but I do not know if I should bring up the topic of my attraction for him again. I doubt he feels anything beyond playful curiosity for me, and I still haven’t gotten over Leonardo. The way thinking of him helped me calm down at the café certainly surprised me, though. My attachment to him is obvious, but I never thought he would become my anchor, much less so after having ended our brief relationship.
“Um, uh...” I finally stammer. “I think Puck is hungry. I have no idea what rabbits can eat.”
“Oh,” William chuckles. “Well, I keep a basil plant in the back yard for him. Celery, clover... Carrot tops are alright too, but do not feed him the carrot itself. ‘Tis a treat only,” he explains.
“Okay, cool.”
I quickly turn and begin walking away, but he grabs my wrist, forcing me to stop.
“Anaïs, wait.” That makes me look at him. He only calls me by my name when he’s serious. “I have been wondering where the events from this morning leave us.”
“Yeah, me too...” I mutter.
“Thou should know that I am unusually fond of thee. I would not be opposed should thou choose to-”
“I don’t know,” I interrupt. “Part of me wants to, but part of me knows it’s not gonna end well. Not for me, at least. Not when it’s you.”
“I can’t promise I will not break thine heart,” he says slowly, “but I can promise thee this: if it ends badly, it shall be my downfall as well. The stakes are as high for me as they are for thee.”
“Perhaps, but we’re not even playing the same game,” I retort. “Are you just trying to get close to me to further whatever ulterior motives I’m sure you have, or are you actually interested in me that way?” I ask, pulling away from him. 
“Thou art not any better, my sweet nightshade. Thou said so thyself, the only reason thou hast come to me is distrust.”
“Yeah, but that was before-” I cut myself off before I can finish the sentence. What the hell was I going to say, ‘before I developed a crush on you’? I absolutely blame this nonsense on vampire puberty, no matter what he says. He has a point, though. I am not as innocent as I have tried to convince myself I am. Sure, I might be attracted to William, but I must not forget why I came here in the first place. If my feelings need to be put on the line in order to find out what he’s up to, then so be it. “Fuck it,” I declare out loud. “Let’s do this.”
I grab him by the lapels of his jacket and pull him into a kiss. He smiles into it, satisfied with my decision, and buries a hand in my hair as the other grabs my waist. We stumble into his bedroom, and I kick the door closed behind me.
“Wait,” I rasp against his lips before pulling away. “We’re really doing this?”
“Only if thou art willing,” he answers. “Art thou?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” he smirks, and swiftly attacks my lips again, deepening the kiss. 
My arms snake around the back of his neck, where I begin playing with his soft hair. My fingers then trail down to the collar of his shirt and latch onto the top button, undoing it slowly. William takes the suddenly tedious labor from my hands, and I pull away from the kiss to observe him. He undresses slowly, his eyes fixed on mine as a smirk grows on his lips. The performer that he is is giving me a show.
‘Your turn’, his eyes seem to say when the fabric slides off his shoulders, baring his torso. He makes no attempt to touch me again. No, he wants me to do it on my own. I oblige his unspoken request and begin to slowly unbutton my own blouse. I feel vulnerable under his patient gaze. The sound of my own nervous heartbeat makes me hesitate, accelerated by the aura of danger that seems to emanate from William whenever I cross paths with him. But I am here to stay this time. I feel like prey, but I won’t run. I want to be his, if only for this very moment, regardless of how long it lasts.
I don’t stop until the last of my garments hits the floor. There I stand, fully naked for William to see, too caught up in the thrill of the moment to think of anything else. He comes closer as his gaze falls to my breasts.
 No, that is not what he is looking at. He reaches up to delicately trace what’s left of the bullet wound with his index finger. Unlike the rest of my scars, this one has not disappeared completely, and I suspect that neither has the entry hole on my back. Thanks to le Comte turning me to save my life, it healed abnormally quickly, leaving behind a rounded, misshapen indent on the left side of my chest. It has a silver tone to it, paler than the rest of my skin, and looks only slightly worse the scar usually left behind by a smallpox vaccine.
“I am terribly sorry for causing that unfortunate incident, my nightshade,” William mutters, suddenly serious. “To be forever marked like that...”
“Do I look like I care about marks on my body?” I chuckle, lifting my heavily tattooed arm in front of his face in an attempt to lighten the mood a little. 
I wonder what he meant by ‘forever’. Will this scar not fade eventually like the others? Either way, now is not the time to think about that. William seems to agree, because that lustful shine returns to his eyes as he moves on from the bullet wound to cup my breast. His touch is careful, like that of a museum curator handling an ancient, invaluable artefact.
I remain completely still as he begins to slowly circle around me. His hand slides up my collarbone, then down my shoulder and along my arm, following the black outline of the leaves that are permanently etched onto my skin. He comes to a stop right above the back of my elbow.
“Is that Vincent’s?” he asks, intrigued by the familiar style of the sunflower. I nod. He then leans in from behind to whisper into my ear. “Careful, my lady. Thou might make me jealous.”
“It’s from before I met him.” My voice comes out softer than I anticipated, breathy and nervous from William’s possessive tone. It sends shivers down my spine. “I just like his art, that’s all,” I quietly explain.
I feel him suddenly pull away from me, but I do not turn around to see what he’s doing. I stay completely immobile as he comes back to stand behind me, so close that his chest is touching my back. He gently pulls a soft fabric over my eyes. The red silk ribbon from last night. I do not fight it this time. I read somewhere that, when one sense is taken away, the rest become heightened, better. I wonder how much more I could perceive deprived of my vision. Everything already feels so different since I turned...
He finishes tying the ribbon into a secure knot on the back of my head. I gasp when his fingers brush against the spot on my back where I know the other scar is, matching the one on my chest.
“Come, Anaïs,” he says softly. “Lay down for me.”
I let him guide me to the bed. As much as I refuse to trust William, I must at least pretend I do if I want to get anywhere with my little investigation. The only way to earn his trust is to prove that he has mine.
Though I am terrified, I blindly oblige his request and lay down. What’s the worst he could do, kill me? That is not something I have ever been particularly afraid of. Besides, I doubt it is what William wants.
“Put your arms up.”
I obey. Almost immediately, I feel something soft wrap around my wrists. He’s tying me up. The idea of being bound by him, so vulnerable and at his mercy, makes my breathing accelerate.
“Relax,” he whispers. “Give me a single word and I will free thee. I would never do this against thine will.”
“Okay,” I breath out, reassured. It is hard to be afraid when he is so gentle, so attentive. But alas, that does not make me any less nervous. I have never done this before, willingly submitting to someone like this, and I don’t know what to expect. “I trust you,” I quietly state, partially to convince myself of the fact as much as him. And so, my performance begins.
I feel the mattress sink where William climbs onto the bed beside me and begins laying a trail of kisses down my neck. He makes his way down my body in an infuriatingly slow manner, but I can’t help but shiver every time his lips flutter over my skin.
I am startled by a light pinch on my sensitive right nipple. I did not notice his hand move there... It is not his fingers I am feeling. No, his wet tongue clues me in, when it begins to circle around it between his lips, pulling an unexpected moan from the back of my throat. I do feel his hand on my left breast, where he has begun gently twisting the nipple between his soft fingers. He darkly chuckles when another sigh of pleasure escapes my lips before abruptly letting go.
I whine, wanting more, but he won’t give it to me. Instead, he teasingly caresses my stomach, slowly moving towards... Nothing. His warm hand is gone from my skin as fast as it had come, and I wiggle in my restraints, unsatisfied.
“Be patient, my nightshade,” he sings, amused by my desperation. Desperation for him, that he created. He knows I am putty in his hands, and he likes it. I think I do, too. “Part thy legs.”
His order surprises me. I do as he says without question, eager for his touch. Finally, he slides a finger down the center of my folds, slowly, carefully, as if I was going to shatter from the tension. I think I might. His finger moves up, then down again, before finding my entrance. I open my legs apart even wider, granting him access, and he slowly pushes into me. My breaths are heavy with anticipation, interrupted by a needy whimper every time William moves his finger inside me. I want more.
He must be able to tell, for another finger joins the first in his painfully slow process. It does not last long, though. I hear the rustling of clothes and something metallic hit the floor. His belt. The mattress shifts under his weight. I can feel the warmth of his body hovering over mine in teasing proximity. His breath tickles my ear as he cruelly laughs yet again at the vulnerable state he has left me in. And his cock... Hard as a rock, it presses gently against my core before sliding into me.
I gasp and tense in pleasure around his girth. William’s hand returns to my breast, squeezing it lightly, and then moves to caress up my neck. He cups my cheek as he lets me adjust to the sudden fullness I feel. His thumb drags over my lips, parting them for another kiss. At the same time as he takes my mouth in his, he thrusts again. My resulting moan is muffled by the kiss.
The movement of his hips accelerates, steadily but slowly, until I am left a trembling mess under him. He maintains his rhythm, sending electric shocks all over my body.
“Thou art so beautiful, my nightshade,” he groans when I come undone. His pace slows, helping me ride out my orgasm. “Radiant as the Sun itself.”
He pulls out, and I am left breathing heavily in my uncomfortable position with my arms tied to the headboard. I hear some rustling before the knots around my wrists loosen. Once my hands are freed, William moves on to remove the blindfold. I blink a few times to help my eyes adjust to the light in the room, only to see William smirking down at me. He did not finish this time, too focused on pleasuring me instead. I stare at him, not knowing what to say.
“Mierda,” I blurt out, suddenly remembering something. I don’t know whether to attribute it to the post-coital clarity or my own unpredictable train of thought. “I forgot to feed Puck!”
I quickly wrap myself in a robe I find on a chair, still glistening with sweat, and run out the room.
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fight-surrender · 4 years
Text
Chapter 5: So It Goes
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Rating: Teen and up
Word Count: 1929
Summary:  “You’re a neanderthal,” I snarl, somewhat petulantly. He has nice feet, I’m distracted. “You were thinking I’m a neanderthal?” He throws the other sock.
“No, you moron,” I dodge the sock. “You’re disgusting, but also, I wonder if I should take you to the vet.”
When you're a vampire, and your enemy/roomate turns into a werewolf, and then you sort of become friends.
Read on AO3
Hey y’all! Here’s the next chapter of my Werewolf fic. Thanks to @carryonsimoncarryonbaz​ for the mad beta read skills and to @penpanoply​ for the beautiful cover art. @nunzibelle​ there’s a tiny Easter egg in here for you, thanks for all the mental health support & friendship ;) 
__________________________________
Baz:
He’s still holding my hand. I wonder if he’s forgotten that he’s holding my hand. Or if he’s forgotten what it means to hold hands. Or if he’s forgotten who I am entirely.
“Simon,” I say.
Snow, lost in thought, snaps to attention, he shakes his head and drops my hand. “Yeah?” He’s so weary. I want to wrap myself around him.
“Do you remember anything? From when you were...you know?”
Snow leans his head back, tapping it to the headboard. He closes his eyes, inhales. He shakes his head slowly, “No.”  His blue, blue eyes cut to me, “Nothing, Baz. It’s all a blank.”
***
Simon:
“Yes, Penny, I understand that monthly absences are sub-optimal for my marks. I’ll get by. Thanks for the notes, by the way.” I run my fingers through my hair, I am barely keeping my shit together.
The moon is in the first quarter, I’ve got just over a week ‘til my next appointment with my “condition.” It’s only been three months and I am sick of thinking about the bloody moon. I fucking hate the moon.
“Simon!” Penny shouts. “Seriously, what is going on? You’re losing weight!” She snaps her fingers in my face to get my attention, I can’t focus on anything lately. “That alone is cause for concern. Add to that the fact that you’ve got circles under your eyes, your hair is out of control, and I barely get to see you anymore, and we have a problem.”  She starts stacking the books and papers scattered across the table. We’re at the library studying for midterms. Which happen to fall during my “special time of the month.” Hence the current diatribe.
“It’s fine Penny. I’ve already cleared it with the professors, I’ll take the exams when I get back.” I feel my temper beginning to sizzle. I don’t know if it’s stress or the disease, but I’m definitely feeling angrier. Or at least irritable. Plus my hair growth has kicked up a notch. Everywhere. I have to shave every day now, which is kind of cool, not gonna lie. I like having the beard option available. Maybe I’ll grow one for the winter.
Penny drops a stack of books onto the table, getting my attention and that of half the library. “These secret errands The Mage is sending you on every month are not worth the damage to your education, Simon. This is ridiculous.” She levels me a cold, hard stare, “I’m taking this up with him.”
This is where I snap. I don’t mean to, but I can’t help it. There’s so much at stake here. “The fuck you’ll talk to him, Penny. This is my business, not yours.” I’m shaking as I gather my notes. I don’t want to be this way. “Stay out of this,” I growl. I sling my bag over my shoulder and leave.
The winter air slaps me as I stomp out of the library, leaving Penny mid-sentence. This whole situation is so fucked up. Why don’t I just tell her? Baz wants me to tell her. That’s fucked up too. Getting along with Baz. Working with him. Needing his help. Trusting him. What would Penny say about that? We have an arrangement now, Baz and me.  He looks after me when I change, I don’t tell anyone he’s a vampire. Our cover story is pretty thin, with me going on monthly missions for the mage and him taking care of his sister’s dog, but it’s the best we could come up with. That’s new. Baz and me—a ‘we.’ But I’m not ready to think about that right now.
It’s not that I don’t trust Penny. I do, I trust her implicitly. But her mum is on the Coven, and well, I’m pretty sure they frown on werewolves, even chosen ones.
I put my hands in my pockets, where to now? I stand in the courtyard; a chill breeze scatters a few dead leaves across the cobblestones. It’s almost dinner time, I could head into the dining hall for something to eat. Baz is likely to be in our room, revising, even though his scores are already perfect. He could probably fail every midterm and still be at the top of our class. I decide to go to Mummers. Baz probably needs a break anyway.
Baz:
Simon jostles into the room, a dusting of snow on his broad shoulders. He drops his bag on his bed and tips his chin at me. “All right, Pitch?”
“All right, Snow?” This is all so sublimely weird. This kinship with Snow. I fucking love it.
I kick back from my desk, stretching. “You know I’ve been thinking.”
Simon looks up at me from where he’s sat on his bed. He’s removing his shoes and chucking them across the room like an animal. “So?” He says, as he throws a rolled-up sock at me.
I swat it away. “You’re a neanderthal,” I snarl, somewhat petulantly. He has nice feet, I find this distracting.
“You were thinking I’m a neanderthal?” He throws the other sock.
“No, you moron,” I dodge the sock.  “You’re disgusting, but also, I wonder if I should take you to the vet.”
“What?” Simon is standing now, in his pants. Trousers slung over his shoulders. He pulls a pair of trackie bottoms from a pile on the floor. This is new, too. Since the nakedness. He’s changing clothes in front of me. I’m not sure how much my heart can take. I look around the room for something to focus on besides his perfect arse. I know the shirt is coming off soon. I think Snow is trying to kill me.
“Take you to the veterinarian, you know, for vaccinations.” I fix my eyes on a crack on the ceiling. “At a minimum you need a rabies shot and probably something for fleas.”
“Fuck you, twat!” Snow has added his trousers to the pile and snaps a t-shirt across his shoulder. He’s shirtless now, of course. His cross glints amid a sea of golden freckles. I want to rip it off.
I try very hard to look bored while simultaneously imagining licking his pectorals because I’m absolutely deranged. “Don’t use that word,” I remind, “It’s vulgar and misogynistic.”
“Right, well you’re a right prick then. I don’t have fucking fleas.”
“How do you know?” I reply, “maybe you have fleas on your were body, and they go wherever all that hair goes when you transform.”
Snow flops on to his bed, blessedly fully clothed. “Crowley, Baz,” he huffs. “Stop fucking thinking.” He reaches into his nightstand drawer and pulls out a mint Aero bar. He unwraps it and offers me half. I take it.
I need to hunt. Usually I wait until Simon is asleep or gone, but I suppose, in light of current developments, I can just go now and actually get a full night’s sleep for a change.
I stand up and start to put on my coat.
“Where are you going?” Simon says, softly.
“Where do you think I’m going?” That came out a bit harsh.
“I think you’re going to eat rats in the catacombs,” Snow replies, shuffling to his feet.
“I don’t eat rats. I drain them,” I correct.
“I’m coming with,” he reaches for his coat.
“Crowley, you will not.”
“Did I go hunting with you when I was in my other form?” He’s fastening the buttons.
“Yes, but—”
“There’s no ‘but.’ You’ve seen me in every aspect of my—condition. I get to see every facet of yours.”
I can’t even describe what I’m feeling right now. My heart is racing, so: anxiety. But I also feel lightheaded and a bit weepy. And also like I’m falling. I think I’m in an alternate reality. Simon Snow, who knows I’m a blood sucking vampire, wants to go with me, to watch me suck blood. He’s asking nonchalantly, as if he wants to accompany me to the grocery store. I can’t process the level of fucked upness here.
“Absolutely not,” I declare.
Snow crowds into my space. I can feel the warmth radiating from him. “You have been dealing with this shit alone for years. I can’t even imagine that. I don’t know how I could have gotten through this—thing alone.” He jabs a finger into my chest, “without you.”
He straightens up and juts out his chin, “I’m going with you.”
Clearly, I’m dead. Or dreaming. Or both. I’ll just roll with it. “Fine,” I say. “You’ll have to keep up.”
***
We’re deep in the catacombs, there are still torches, but I’m taking us to the darkest depths to hunt. No need for him to actually see what I’m doing. Snow is following me like a lost child at the market.
“How do you not get sick from all the rat germs? You’d think you would at least catch plague or something.”
“I don’t know, Snow. I don’t catch cold either, maybe I’ve got super immunity.” I brush a cobweb from my hair as I walk. “Maybe I have antiseptic saliva, like a hyena.”
“Antiseptic saliva,” Snow ponders. “I suppose then, I could skip the nurse and have you lick my wounds.”
“Merlin, no. I don’t want to lick your wounds.” I want to lick your wounds. “And can you hear yourself? I’m a vampire, Snow.”
“Er yeah, just a thought.”
We’re beyond the torches, now. I can still see, but it’s got to be pitch black for Snow. He takes my hand as we continue to walk. I wonder if he can hear my heart pounding. Did the lycanthropy sharpen his human senses too? His hand is warm. My hand is on fire. I feel every whorl of his fingerprints.
“Have you killed anyone, then?”
I stop. I consider dropping his hand, but I’d rather set fire myself on fire first. “Have you killed anyone, Snow?”
Simon looks at me, then looks down, “well, not as a werewolf.”
“I haven’t killed anyone. I’m not—that,” I murmur.
“I didn’t think so.”
“Then why’d you ask?”
“Dunno. Needed to make sure.”
We walk in silence. Hand in hand.
I stop again. “Look, I have to…hunt. Will you wait?”
“You want me to stand here in the dark, alone? While you kill rats?”
“I won’t go far, just talk, don’t listen,” I urge.
“Talk about what?” Simon asks.
“I don’t know, tell me about your childhood,” I drop his hand and slip away.
“Not much to tell, really. I grew up in an assortment of care homes. Not exactly idyllic.”
I’m working fast, I’ve drained two rats. “Do you have any happy memories of care?”
Snow laughs softly, “not many.” He pauses for a beat. “One home I stayed at in Liverpool got a grant for new playground equipment. I must have been five or six. It had a big red slide and shiny blue plastic swings. Usually the homes had no swings or broken wooden ones with splinters and rusty chains. These swings were ace. I was so happy. Would swing on them all day if they let me. I tried to sleep out there once.”
“That’s lovely,” I say, walking back to Snow. I wipe my hand on my trouser leg. I wish I had some sanitizer. I take Simon’s hand again; I don’t know who I am anymore. “Let’s go.”
“Yeah, OK,” Simon says as we walk out of the catacombs.
When we get back to our room, Simon takes off his cross.
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chimbbles · 5 years
Text
anybody ever thinks about doctor!hendery? because that’s the first thing that popped into my mind the second I saw him
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T/W: mentions of blood, and I'm sorry I keep bringing up tetanus I don't mean to mock it or anything
it wasn’t a big deal, but the constant ringing in your head was getting harder to differentiate between a migraine and your incessant worries building up
days ago you were fixing up a shelf from ikea, your roommate having suggested you guys get a proper apparatus to house your various clutters
both of you went at it for the whole night, after coming home from a long day’s worth of work and neither of you denied the tiny spark of regret for getting something you can’t really handle at 1am in the morning
at last, the cheap metal frame is up, a job well done rewarded by crashing into the couch and dozing off right there
morning came and the shelf was thoroughly forgotten, even with its huge size propped right in front you
the effect of the iconic, “I’m late for work”
throwing yourself off the couch you ignored your hard work and skidded past absentmindedly, until it reminded you with a nasty gash in the shower
if your pinky toe was stinging in the water, it felt way worse when soap ran down your body
you had to stop and check, clenching your teeth at the act of rinsing off the soap to get a good look, and voila 
a fresh cut just below your cuticle, long and crimson till it reaches the joint
you definitely don’t have time for this
so you slap on some antibacterial cream, stick on a band-aid and call it class one first aid with 5 minutes till work starts
the day was: bad
not only you had to run, your shoes covered your wounded toe and you honestly doubt it does more to protect rather than harm it
your boss was obviously not impressed, and you’re stuck with a self appointed adult detention with a foul, cold sandwich titled gruesome lunch; at the set venue of your cubicle
having been reminded by the constant ache on your toe, you made it a point to text your roommate, informing them you two had built a death machine
they, however, took the joke a little too literally, and from the moment after lunch, they kept texting you to get it checked out
“what if it’s tetanus?”
“you could die from an infection!”
“are you sure the cream isn’t expired?”
“did you apply it properly”
“get it checked out you might be at risk”
and that’s why you’re here man no pun intended
where once again, things weren’t this serious, and were blew out of proportion
your self appointed detention unfortunately lasted for days, long as your boss was happy, and your punishment was a huge project with a short deadline
you pulled overtime for a straight 3 days now, and the projects almost there, just one day left
the all-nighter you suffered through proved efficient when you finished the project at near 5am in the morning, rumours of company ghosts no longer scare you when you roam amongst them as a comrad 
your zombified limbs pack up by themselves, brain too damaged from the cups of coffee chugged down your throat at the ungodly hours
your roommate’s nagging makes its appearance again, buzzing through your brain like a broken record
“you could have tetanus, it’s metal!”
you remember there’s a hospital on the route back home, so why not? staying up longer it doesn’t quite matter at this point
the reception desk threw a fit when they heard you connect the words ‘tetanus’ and ‘a few days ago’
that’s how you end up in line at the ER, instead of the intended clinic visit
it’s eerily chilly, with the bland white walls staring back at you
without you knowing it; the whirring of the busy machines and clinking of metal appliances lulls your tired figure to sleep, head leaning back and mouth open in a silent snore
“oh my goodness they blacked out”
“we need help here!”
within seconds your body was hauled onto a stretcher and pulled away in a whim, straight into a private room with an unsuspecting doctor
“came in saying they might have tetanus and the wound’s a few days old. ER’s full from a car crash and they just blacked out in the hall,”
“temperature’s rising, I think the fever started to set in, if you could take a look first dr.wong-”
“sure, sure”
‘dr.wong’ rounds the edge of his table to plant himself beside you, and you think the only regret you don’t have for the night is seeing his handsome face
he reads the thermometer before plucking the pen lodged at the opening of his white coat,
“okay, I need you to focus on this pen, follow it with your eyes, alright?”
of course he doesn’t wait for your agreement before waving the pen in front of you, and your slow brain can’t receive stimuli that well while it’s raving on caffeine 
“I’m getting slow response, fetch the vaccine now,”
one of the nurses hurriedly leaves the room, leaving one to stay and help the doctor,
he picks up the stethoscope from his desk and plugs the two ends into his ears, “alright, I need you to breathe for me,”
“and check the wound, please”
the nurse nods and springs into action, and your brain-- finally-- comes back to life
your grab the hand that’s holding the metal plate with both of yours, surprising him and making him go wide-eyed
but what do you say???
it could be tetanus but you don’t feel unwell at all, and you really, really don’t want a pissed off nurse to glare at you for the false alarm
also, you don’t want anyone to look at your ugly toes
“are you okay? does it hurt?”
the nurse stops taking off your shoe at the mention of pain, and waits for further instructions from the doctor
you bite down the embarrassment for your lame excuse, and gesture roughly to your throat, “....water”
they both share a concerned look, before the nurse moves and heads towards the door with a “I’ll be right back doctor”
now that you’re left with him alone, you feel less anxious about the whole situation, and sit up properly to talk to him
“I don’t have tetanus,”
you can see him processing your words before he lets out a hearty chuckle, “having tetanus isn’t illegal or contagious, we won’t throw you in quarantine,”
“no, no, I told them I don’t think it’s tetanus, it’s merely a cut from metal-- yes, but it’s not infected or anything, I just came here for a confirmation,”
he pauses to mull over your words, before taking off your shoe and tugging at your socks,
“I’m fine, really, I think this was a mistake-”
your socks successfully comes off, and he’s tentatively ripping your band-aid off, trying not to provoke the wound any further
when the wrapping comes off, he’s not too impressed by his present, which you think he fully expects a nasty, nasty wound, with yellow mucus oozing out from the opening and rotten flesh scent-- instead of a clean, clear, thread sized cut
“and I didn’t black out, I’m just very tired and the coffee’s not helping,”
he looks up from your foot and seems so confused, so you do him a favour to explain at the best your brain allows you to
by the time the nurse is back, you two had ran through a quick summary of your activities for the past few days, and her cup of water is the perfect solution to a real, dry throat
“patient does not have tetanus, a false alarm, but they’re still gonna require a shot, just in case,”
he gestures to your foot and she looks fairly annoyed, but says nothing at the presence of a doctor
she excuses herself to help out outside, and dr.wong sits back at his desk to wait for the vaccine, while you lay your head down to rest
“I think she hates me,”
he laughs, “nah, we just haven’t had a tetanus case in a while, I think she got too worked up,”
the other nurse comes back with your vaccine, and helps clean up your arm for the injection, “you’re not scared of needles, are you?”
you can taste the amusement in the air, tension lifted and light in the air thanks to his teasing, “patient does not have an infection, but is taking a shot for proper measures, and the high body temp is caused from lack of sleep for days, and a slightly inflamed liver, does not require further care, but a follow up is needed in a month’s time,”
the nurse scribbles your prescription while he stabs your arm with the long needle, and you try your best not to panic
after the nurse leaves the room, you two are left alone once again, and the ambiguous question hangs in the air, “am I allowed to leave now?”
he peers up from his book, “yes, but it’s 5:37am now, and my shift ends at 6; if you could stay a bit longer,” he trails off,
he senses your confusion and hurriedly explains himself, “I’m trying to avoid having breakfast with someone, and I’m no longer needed for emergency cases, it would be nice to have some peace and quiet,”
“you could take a nap-- I’ll wake you at 6,”
“can you put in a good word for me with the nurses?”
“deal.”
“can we eat breakfast too?” words kind of jumbled up from your fatigue
he takes a bit longer to respond, and by the time he does, you don’t hear it-- having already fallen asleep on the white stretcher,
“sure, that’ll be nice.”
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lazulisong · 5 years
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then I went and ate congee because this month was A Lot
anyway to summarize my appointment today: my NP is VERY PLEASED at the work i did this month and wants me to keep on like I am right now. She did suggest the DASH diet (a special diet for high blood pressure) but I looked at it and I was like, “I’m willing to limit salt and the junk food, cut down the hooch, and work on other stuff but I can tell you right now I will not comply with that diet”, so I’m just focusing on being more active and making Better Food Choices. 
I lost about 7lbs since the first, so she’s pretty happy about that -- she was actually surprised I lost that much, but since I cut down on the booze so much I got my calories down quite a bit. (My eventual goal is to get down to Amy’s weight, 180, but I’m not gonna rush it.) We decided to start a BP med because my BP is actually a genetic problem from both sides, and I was like “I can eat lettuce for the rest of my life and I will still have high blood pressure”. Zoloft is going up to 100mg and I’ll message her if I need to go up again. I’m still shocked that my insurance is fully covering my BP med, but then again, BP medication is a hell of a lot less than a week in the cardio unit, so /SHRUGJI
 Got my TDAP booster, since I am violently pro-vaccine haha. 
Next month I’m going in just for labs to check kidney and liver function and a BP check -- I’m also keeping track at home -- and the month after that I’m going in for another check up and (ugh) a Pap smear. 
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dreamemento-blog · 3 years
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#8: The Grocery Store
Not sure why but zombie-themed dreams always end up being romantically tragic for me???
So this guy crushes on this girl (is it me? or am I just the spectator? Hard to tell in Dreamland) back in high school. They have the same friend group and they get along really well, have a great connection, but nothing ever comes from it because he’s too nervous and thinks she’s way out of his league. Maybe she’s also in a relationship during this time, I can’t remember that part of the “movie”. So they drift apart and just move on with their lives. 
She gets married young and has two small children. She and her husband move to greener pastures. He’s out, probably well-educated, living his life in some successful career. But life hits them with some curveballs and they both come back home in different stages of their lives. 
Now she’s divorced and a single mother. The ex husband’s probably shit given that he’s not present in the dream. I’m thinking she comes back to her hometown after the divorce, and lives with her dad. They spend some time mending their dysfunctional relationship (hence marrying young amirite). So she’s been back for a couple years rebuilding herself. She’s in a good spot, working at some humble job finally feeling herself after years of being “the wife and mom”. Her dad and her are doing great and she finally feels self-sufficient and stable.
Crushboy also returns home after finding himself unfulfilled in the big city. But now this boy is back as a man, just trying to find himself too. He spent so long grinding, trying to feel some sort of success since he felt his life back home was such a failure. Coming back home was hard, but his mom told him to not let his past haunt him, and not be afraid to look back. So he’s back, and after a few months home, he’s slowly getting that contentment he needed. 
And suddenly, they see each other at the grocery store, shocked that anyone from their high school is still around. You know that moment when you see an old classmate in the wild. It’s always at the damn grocery store. He sees her kids in the cart, which causes some pause. She is a little embarrassed but looks defiantly, dukes up, waiting for his reaction. Despite her worry, he instantly connects with them. They’re cute, sweet, friendly, all that jazz. After a brief chat he tells her he’d like to catch up more. She’s surprised because she feels like she’s “damaged goods”. But he insists. That old spark is rekindled and he’s not holding back this time. 
So cue the romance budding, he finally confesses his feelings. She digs deep and realizes maybe she felt the same but was too up her own ass to act on it, and too complacent in waiting on him to do something about it. But here it is - their second chance. They both came home to start fresh, and now they can share this new chapter together. They date, they make love, they sing songs from high school in his car. She’s screaming her head off in the passenger’s seat and he’s smiling ear to ear, overcome with joy of what he’s always wanted.
It’s your classic romantic movie, it’s a beautiful story, everything’s great....aaaand then GENRE CHANGE.
In the background of all this are subtle hints of an “outbreak”. Symptoms are severe - the new rabies? People are showing signs of leprosy and onset psychotic episodes. Their red blood count levels are dangerously low, draining the blood supply. Vaccines are aggressively being dished out, but the virus mutates at an alarming rate and soon the symptoms are beyond severe. The psychotic episodes turn into violent attacks of cannibalism. Basically....yeah, zombies.
So soon this hometown gets infected. Let’s say it’s remote and takes a while to rear its ugly head. Soon the town is overtaken. Now it turns into a survival movie. We went from “Notebook”-status to full on “The Road” as far as tone change. A fucking wallop to the side of the spectator’s head. Some people hole up in the grocery store, including the guy, girl and her two kids. They’re managing, but like any zombie film, the numbers are overwhelming. People start dying off here and there. Panic sets in and the grocery store is ripped apart, mainly by human chaos. 
We get to the point where they need to get out. Guy still has his keys to the car for the last resort escape if the grocery store falls through. They’re almost out, then suddenly a zombie pops out of no where (foreshadowing of his presence is probably sprinkled through the last act). He gets at the guy and bites a chunk out his neck. Girl is mortified and stabs the fucker in the head with a weapon. She screams, the kids are screaming. She approaches him to help and he quickly shouts at her to get the kids to the car while he wraps his neck with bandages he had already packed. 
She obeys and gets the kids in the car, instructing the older daughter to honk if they need help, but they’re hidden and relatively safe. She goes back in the store to retrieve the guy so they can get the hell out of there. 
But there he is, slumped in an aisle near the door. He presses on his gushing neck in vain, as the bandages are fully soaked. She sees, her eyes widen and her face drops. He’s not gonna make it. She throws that thought out and drops to her knees, desperately trying to lift his limp body. 
“C’mon, we gotta go. Get up. Please. I can’t do this. You’ll be okay, let’s go. Please!”
“I don’t think I’m gonna...you’re gonna have to keep moving.”
“No, no! You can do this, we can do this, just please....”
She sobs as the realization creeps in, that he’s right. 
“I can’t do this,” she whimpers, “How THE FUCK this fair?!” she screams.
“It’s...pretty fucked up,” he sputters slightly chucking. “But listen, I need you to listen to me,” he instructs caressing her shoulder as she looks up from her hysteria. 
“After we graduated...I felt like I wasn’t alive. I just felt like I was just existing, like something was missing. And I felt like I did all this shit with work to be something. To have done something. And still I just felt so dead.”
“Then I came back, and I saw you. And it was like...I was revived. And these last few months,” he sputters, and takes a deep breath, “I feel like I’ve already lived an entire life just getting to be with you. Like this. I finally know what it’s like to have lived...to know what it was all for. It was for you, and those kids. I get it now...I’ve never felt so at peace. I feel it now...”
His eyes fade...his deep eye contact turns as he looks on, with peaceful eyes. His pupils glass over, in permanent contentment. 
She stifles a scream, and begins to heave, taking in the shock and grief. She cries into his chest, and whispers that she loves him. She hears the car horn beep in the distance. She looks up, eyes filled with drive and rage. 
She emerges out of the store, his blood on her jacket. She screams, “Close your eyes and hide for Mommy!” As she sees the children duck under the seats, she grabs a scavenging zombie off the car and throws its decaying emaciated body to the pavement. She strikes its head, over and over. It’s long dead, but she strikes. Blood spattering, saturating her face chest but all she can do is pant and scream. 
Cut to final scene. She’s driving his car, with the kids quietly playing in the background. Driving on a desolate freeway with cars crashed here and there on the side. Headed somewhere, and nowhere. Her face is numb. Cut to black. 
--
And that was my fucking dream the other goddamned day.
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unfuckablebogtroll · 3 years
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In other news, hair oil + boar bristle brush = 👌
I suppose now that it’s summer and cases are way down in my state that has a high vaccination rate, I can go get my hair done. It’s been over a year now, after all! A year of letting my blonde grow out to the point it almost looks like an intentional ombré and home trims. Time to fix up that dye job and get a proper trim that isn’t a blunt cut done with my sewing scissors! I waffled for while, but now that it’s almost waist length again, I’m fully on board with just growing it out super long for the first time in years. Covid forced my hand on that and now I have several new pins and clips and sticks and barrettes that would go to waste if I went short now! But I am gonna go back to a darker color.
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anxiouspregnantlady · 3 years
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19 weeks, 4 days
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Lots & lots has happened this week:
We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary
Both k & I received our first pfizer vaccine doses
I am in crazy packing & moving mode! We’re moving to our new house this weekend and while the moving part is manageable/something we’ve done many times before, getting the house set up has been really convoluted and draining. Between the radon pipe, unsafe dryer vent, alarm system (and don’t forget the washer dryer that won’t fit down the stairs SIGH) we have our hands full. But it’s gonna happen. Just can’t wait for it to be over lol.
Pregnancy-wise...not much to report? My belly is burgeoning~ and I am getting comments from random drunks on the street. Baby’s kicks are getting stronger and more consistent & K can usually feel them too. I feel mostly wonderful, energy & mood-wise. Bad hankering for wine, but I’m letting myself have matcha and smoked salmon so that’s felt indulgent enough for now.
We’ve been trying to talk more to baby and play a certain set of songs regularly for her. She loves bread and starts to kick ferociously whenever I eat bread lol. And soda. Low sugar kombucha just does not cut it for her.
Made some real progress on our registry. Wondering if and how to throw a baby shower. Still pinching myself every single day & can’t believe this is my real life. This week is National Infertility Awareness Week & well, yeah, I am aware of the pain of infertility and I doubt I will ever fully un-identify with that community.
Right now, I am anticipating the next big milestone which will be the anatomy scan in a week’s time. After that I’ll be counting down the days to a chance at viability aka ~24 weeks. There are a LOT of things that I’ve only given myself permission to do “after the anatomy scan”. For example, I need to tell my internship site that I will actually not be showing up in September. I’ve also put off any sort of real prep for labor/birthing until then. Oh and buying stuff for baby--haven’t let myself do that, except for one hat. 
Three days until we are halfway through with this pregnancy!
Do I still have anxiety about whether my baby will be okay? Yes, occasionally. I know babies can be lost at any stage. But the ratio of happy thoughts to worry thoughts is at least 99 to 1, which I can deal with. 
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