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skylarsblue · 1 year

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✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes✦

(Bros I'm so sorry, I've had the biggest fucking writer's block. I'm hoping some silly lil meme posts will make up for it until I can write something substantial, I'msosorry-)

Y/N: Some of us, I don’t wanna name names, give me a headache when they speak and its- Soap: Is it me?? Y/N: No. Graves: Is it me? Y/N: …it’s not Soap- --

Price: I’m gonna make you a soup. Gaz, delirious with the flu: I don’t wanna be a soup, Captain… Price: …right, how about I give you soup instead? Gaz: That’d be nicer. Price: Right. --

Soap: What the fuck knuckles is this? Valeria: *holding her hyper femme gf in her lap* She’s my girlfriend you intolerant shit. Soap: Whoa! Pump the hate brakes Fox & friends. I’m just surprised anyone would date you. Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. Y/N, on Valeria’s lap: You know that cartoon? Soap: No comment. Ghost: No, I think you should comment more, Johnny. Soap: NO. COMMENT. Moving on! Gaz: We’re gonna circle back to that. --

Graves: I think the term you’re searching for is ‘current captain’. Ghost: The words I’m searching for, I can’t say. Because there’s a rookie *motions to Soap* present. Soap: No no, say it. I can handle it. Ghost: You sure? Soap: Absolutely, L.T. Ghost: *looks at Graves* Fucking donkey lookin’ muppet bitch. Soap: Brutal blow, sir. Well done. --

Y/N: *comes in* Hey, Gaz, how old is your captain? Gaz: What? Y/N: No not like that…it is, it is like that. How old is he? I came into base, he asked if I needed anything to eat. I said ‘eat what’? Gaz: Okay, first of all, put my plate down and stop hitting on my captain! Y/N: Don’t get mad at me! I don’t even wanna be here. Y’all the ones that want me to be here. --

NPC: Ohhh if I weren’t a lady, I’d deck you! Fem!Y/N: Oh please. Try it and I’d have you on your back so fast you’d think you’re on a date. Ghost: *spits tea* Price, covered in tea: That was so unnecessary- --

Ghost: Mmph. Y/N: Dark room, avoidant, you seem tired despite sleeping for awhile…you wanna try and get out in the sun or do you just need to be in the sadness dungeon? Ghost: *holds up two fingers* Y/N: Would you like some tea for the sadness dungeon? Ghost: …Mhm. Y/N: Tea for the sad dragon coming up! Ghost: Mmph. (Aka “thank you”) Y/N: No problem! --

Y/N: Ya know sometimes there’s times in life where you just have to sit back and go, “ya know what? I’m proud of myself.” Gaz: Is this one of those times? Y/N: No- Soap: *wheeze* --

(Shibari reference)

Price: …alright, when I said we needed to restrain him in a way that ensured he couldn’t get out. This is not- Gaz: These are not military knots. Y/N: No, they aren’t. You all suggested knots that he would know how to get out of. You told me to get rid of that possibility. So, I did. Soap: He is tied…to the ceiling. Ghost: You kinky bitch. Y/N: *shrug* Price: Where did you even learn this? Y/N: That is for me and my daddy issues to know, sir. Don’t worry about it. Just wake him up so we can start interrogating him.

Graves: We can rule the world! Ghost: *turns to leave* Graves:: *watches him pull out something of Y/N’s* Graves: WH-YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FUCK MY WIFE Graves: GHOST. G H O S T Ghost: *leaves* --

Graves: Let me log into Twitter- WAIT, IS THAT GHOST’S DICK!?! Ghost: I fucked your wife. Graves: AGGHHHHHH- --

Medic!Y/N: Don’t torture yourself Ghost. *snips bandage* Medic!Y/N: That’s my job.~ Ghost, internally: Stayfocusedwecannot- --

Price: We’re you listening to me at all? Y/N: No I was fantasizing about beard burn. Price: Pardon? Y/N: Huh? --

Ghost: He died of natural causes. Gaz: You pushed him off the roof. Ghost: Gravity is natural. --

Y/N: Nuh Uh, no. I’m not doing it. I have self respect, and I will not stoop so low as to- Gaz: *brings out 100£.* Y/N: -oooooo*takes money* I’ll have it done in an hour. --

Soap, looking at Konig: That man is a tree. Y/N: Then I'm a fucking squirrel. Soap: On the hunt for nuts then? Y/N: Famished for them. Ghost: Why do I sit with you two...

#call of duty #simon riley #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #john mactavish #konig #cod konig #john price #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #gaz mw2 #phillip graves #valeria el sin nombre garza #incorrect cod quotes #incorrect quotes #modern warfare 2 x reader #modern warfare

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sixty-silver-wishes · 1 year

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everyone shut up this is ACTUALLY what fans of different composers are like

Mahlerians are PROUD TO BE ABSOLUTELY INSUFFERABLE DRAMA QUEENS, THE LIKES OF WHICH EVEN THE WAGNER CULT COULD NEVER SO MUCH AS ASPIRE TO BE. WE ARE ONE WITH THE UNYIELDING EBB AND FLOW OF THE BOUNDLESS UNIVERSE, DAMN IT ALL!

Shostakovich fans are like Mahler fans except they actually understand what sarcasm is. We also all really like the Muppets for some reason. Most of us own cats and likely have at least one mental illness.

Liszt fans are either tweenagers who love anime or salty old pianists who know a disturbing amount about music theory. These two factions are constantly at war.

Copland fans are either very, very far right or very, very far left. Either way, neither side actually listens to all of Copland's repertoire.

Tchaikovsky fans are either Russian grandmas or LGBT orchestra kids on Tiktok. Either those or the one noob who heard there were cannons once.

Wagner fans. Yes, there are the cringey neo-Nazi Wagnerians, but anti-Nazi Wagnerians are a whole new level of chaotic good. They spend their time dreaming up the most disastrous, chaotic Ring productions possible, with the sole purpose of making Richard Wagner's entire family simultaneously spin in their graves. They take "death of the author" to a whole new level and constantly run on nothing but 100% pure spite. You want a Wagnerian who would beat up Wagner in a Denny's parking lot on your side.

Prokofiev fans will unironically say "ackshually...". That's it.

Dvorak fans are homeschool kids. They're either soul-crushingly innocent or devastatingly horny.

Sousa fans are just high school band directors who try to convince themselves they like Sousa to get through the semester.

Joplin fans constantly argue over whether Joplin's music should be played twice as quickly or twice as slowly than it's actually written. Also sick of hearing about Janis.

Chopin fans are exactly like Liszt fans, except there are 20% more "uwu softboi flowercrown" edits of Chopin than Liszt floating around on Instagram and Tumblr.

Holst fans will drag you into an alleyway and beat you up with their bare hands if you so much as mention The Planets.

Bernstein fans are either horny theatre kids or communists, but it's more likely they're both at once. They are very opinionated about recordings, and express their approval of the ones they like by gyrating excessively to them. If you put a Bernstein fan, a Mahler fan, and a Shostakovich fan in one room, they will either topple a national government or have a threesome.

Ravel fans are inherently Wes Anderson fans. You can be friends with one for years without knowing a single thing about their personality.

Schoenberg fans are like Mahlerians but with worse memes.

Brahms fans are... I have never met a Brahms fan. I'm sure they exist, but I'm pretty sure my own taste in music scares them off.

Paganini fans are almost always TwoSet kids, particularly the ones who try to convince people that "classical music isn't boring because it's basically metal." If you tell them Paganini played viola, they will spontaneously combust.

Rachmaninov fans are ultimately really chill, but are often socially awkward. If you ask a Rachmaninov fan "how are you?", they will most likely respond with "you too."

Schumann fans are Mahlerians on medication.

Stravinsky fans think they're chaotic and unhinged and listen to the most obscure underground shit, but in all actuality they just decided to enter their edgy phase after a lifetime of being sheltered and forced to listen to nothing but Handel by their parents. Possibly homeschooled.

Ysaye fans are like Paganini fans, except they're depressed graduate music students with permanent calluses on their fingers.

Debussy fans go to art school, decide they don't like art school, but have been doing art school too long to turn back, so they can't get out of art school. They may be high on weed at any given moment.

Satie fans are just possessed vessels of Erik Satie. Death cannot hinder Erik Satie. Erik Satie will return to this mortal plane. Search your feelings. You are already Erik Satie.

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critterbitter · 4 months

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Asks and responses under cut!

First to note! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR THESE ASKS. I REALLY APPRECIATE YALL. That aside, lemme get cracking! @drakeling7413 AWE MAN THANK YOU! I just started playing B2 with a friend (we're... not doing a nuzlocke anymore because we both got full team wiped at Clay's gym. That exadrill's built different man.) But I'm glad to bring back some of that whimsey! @bluemimikyu As an eel defender I am VERY glad to hear that! Good luck with tynamo though, they evolve at a disgustingly high level and they're... well, I don't want to say weak but they're a bit difficult to use against anybody not water or flying, from personal experience. (I love eelektross though. Levitate my beloved...) @ashnesspokemon ADLSKJFLKSDJ THANK YOU!!! I have SO many thoughts about them. We've seen them as rat children. We've seen them as sad old men. Today, I offer you-- gangly teenagers interning at Gear Station and Scheming in the meantime. (Plus elesa! The more I draw her the more I love her, ah... I've always been a sucker for trios. ((looks dead eyed at botw and hollow knight))). I do intend to draw them older later on, but that's a timeline I will Not Nail Down anytime soon hehe. @64s-art-blog Emmet has eel rights, Ingo has lamp rights. (But you're right. He should have thrown eelekrik. The comedic apparel would have been incredible.) @aroacepokefan First of all (points at your user name) AYYY. (Points at this characterization of Ingo). AYYY??? Second of all, thank you I LOVE moles and drillbur's perfect. @asperanna Oh boY OH BOY OKAY SO. I am prrrrobably not gonna draw anymore conventional starters AU cause I have a lot of wips I have to handle of the current comics, BUT Ingo would have a unovan samurott. and then when he gets heebie jeebied into hisui, he would have a HISUIAN Samurrott. And then when the two samurotts meet, they would be like the spiderman pointing meme. But because this is also a sandbox, if you ever wanna run with the hisuian samurott idea please go for it! Free real estate, just remember to credit so I can sneak in and spectate the art. @submasfan SLJLDSFJSLDK TY!!!! I am definitely gonna have to slow down at somepoint so I can work on commissions again (ah... maybe I should open a patreon... to feed myself. hmm.) BUT I APPRECIATE THE EXCITEMENT. The submas brain is real. @magicfeatherbean4 (sweats) This is where I tell you they only appear for like... five lines. BUT YOU SHOULD PLAY BW! I miss the 2d pokemon aesthetic, and BW nails that in the head. ((Its okay we can sit on the sidelines and admire the muppet men do their daily commute within the depths of the train.)) @rudeboimonster I'm so glad you caught the stims! Character consistency is an important rule I hold close to my heart, so seeing people notice the little details I add makes me grin like a loon.

#asks #mailbox #critterbitter

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stitchyblogs · 1 year

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Stitchy, How Do I Get Back into The Muppets?

Muppet memes are everywhere. They trend every time Brett Goldstein gets his hands on a microphone, or a British politician puts their foot in their mouth. Let the Muppets host the Oscars! Miss Piggy dumps Pete Davidson! Knives Out III! But, reader... it’s been a long time since you last hopped over to sip Lipton’s on Kermit’s lily pad, hasn’t it? And you kind of miss it.

I’m imagining you, dear reader. Not in a weird way or anything... I’m just being transparent about who I intend my audience to be, because I have Twitter poisoning. You know how it is, you rascal, you. I know, because I’m imagining you into existence! Let’s just go with it! Yeah, so- I bet you’re thirty something, low forties. You say ‘No worries!’ a lot, but you sure do have worries. How can you not? You’re way too online, but you hope to the Great Gazoo you’re pulling it off, looking merely casually plugged in, in public. You maybe don’t have kids, who've forced you to plumb the depths of Disney +, but you do have it, because you’re not immune to Baby Yoda and the bionic biceps of a one Bucky Barnes. Aside from that fatuous affair, you’re also in a ever evolving polycule with at least three streaming services, but they still aren’t *quite* delivering what you need from the relationship. You kind of miss being restricted to whatever 6 VHS tapes were in the TV hutch of your childhood home. If you’re too young for VHS, you at least remember having to mail actual disks back and forth with Netflix. You remember that once, practical effects were the only effects. You have taste! And curiosity! And heart! You tear up when you think about Mr. Rogers for too long, which is very sexy of you. Most importantly, dear reader, you appreciate a bit of cornball. You like a lil goof. A cheeky lil pun. A gag so cheap, the shopkeeper is looking the other way as you pocket it, secretly stoked to get it off the damn shelf already... Nobody’s looking, ya know. It’s okay to admit it! You like hokey jokes. In fact, you're spiritually wearing boxers with hearts on them right now, just in case. Not that I’m imagining you in your spiritual underwear.

Did I make it weird?

Shh, shh, it’s fine. I’m Stitchy, by the way! I am alllllll of these things too- it’s fine! Well, I’m not super into Bucky, if we’re being honest- which we are! Because we’re friends now! And you know, friends can ask each other embarrassing questions. Your question is the headline of this, so I won’t beat around the bush anymore. I’m gonna do you a solid. I’m gonna tell you.... How to get back into the Muppets.

Hey, wait! You sneak! You! That guy peeking over the shoulder of the reader I was just talking to. You’ve never seen any Muppets on purpose at all, and you’re hoping I can set you up, too? Ha! I knew it… Yeah, that’s okay. You can follow this list. I won’t rat you out, as long as you don’t tell Rizzo I said ‘rat’ in that context.

Muppet Immersion PART 1: The New Shit.

You’ve already seen the stuff that came down the pipeline in the 90’s. You Mnah Mnah’ed your butt off in your tender youth, and nowadays you still get a little confused when there’s only one Marley in non-Muppet Christmas Carols. You vaguely know that the good people at Henson Co. made post-Y2K projects, but you haven’t checked them out, because you had important, more grown up things to worry about, like curating your MySpace top eight. Then time got away from you. That’s okay, bud- because I’ve been on my muppetfrickin’ grind.

(One note: not all Muppet Materials are made with our age group in mind, and that’s okay! I’m sure Muppet Babies 2.0 has its moments, but we’re only looking at the slightly more mature pieces.)

1. The Muppets, 2011 (watch on Disney +)

They struck gold when tapping lifelong muppet freak Jason Segel to write and star in the Muppet’s comeback to the silver screen. With the expert musical-comedy midwifery of Flight of the Conchord’s James Bobin (director), and Bret McKenzie (music), a beautiful baby Muppet was born! It’s a classic tale of “We’ve gotta get the band back together and put on the best show this town has ever seen Or Else!”. The Or Else, if you’re wondering, is oil tycoon Chris Cooper’s plan to obliterate the Muppet Theater. Best work he’s ever done, I tell ya. Same goes for Amy Adams, who absolutely nails her role as the doting but levelheaded Mary, who’s fiancé is troublingly codependent with his Muppet brother, Walter. Oh, Walter. A wide eyed, whistling optimist, who deserves love and puppies and the whole entire world. In the words of Phil Spector (Yikes) to know know know him is to love love love him. A great entry point for returning, or newly budding Muppet enthusiasts. Highlights include the knock off ‘Moopets’, hostage Jack Black, and Muppet turned man Jim Parsons.

1.5 The sequel, Muppets Most Wanted, 2014 (also available on Disney +) doesn’t work for me. Seeing as it’s my guide to Muppet Immersion, I say you can skip it if you’re not feeling like another feature film, just now! My beef may not be your beef, though. (Too much Ricky Gervais, too much faux-Kermit, and not enough Walter... ((My soul will never be at rest until I understand why TPTB lost faith in Walter as the new audience surrogate. I can only hope Serial has plans to investigate.))) Maybe Muppets Most Wanted will work for you! Definitely DO NOT MISS the absolute feast of bops, again penned by Bret McKenzie:

1.5 a. “I’ll Give it To You”

1.5 b. The Interrogation Song, a thrilling double act by Ty Burrell and Sam the Eagle

1.5 c. We’re Doing a Sequel!

1.5 d. Something So Right featuring none other than powerhouse Celine Dion

1.5 e. Something So Right Demo Reel, because you need to have Bret’s Miss Piggy in your ears, too.

Whenever Piggy wears a hat with one lil’ ear out!? That’s the good stuff.

2. It’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights, it’s time to fire up the Baby Yoda machine to watch The Muppets, 2015. Confusing, yeah... It’s the same-named, but sadly short lived series, spun out from the success of the new films. The docu-sitcom format is a natural fit for the fourth-wall breaking Muppets. For the first time since 1984’s Muppets Take Manhattan, Kermit is solidly the leading man. We find him back in the studio, producing Up Late With Miss Piggy, amidst a flurry of Muppet interpersonal problems. As a quintessential Will They, Won’t They couple of the last half a century- it’s kind of incredible that the Muppet media that best portrays why Kermit and Piggy love each other is the one where they are very emphatically Did, But Don’t Anymore. It’s a refreshingly grown-up main story line! Aside from that- we all know C is for Cookie, but B is for B-Plots and running gags that absolutely slap. Fozzie’s beleaguered love life, Uncle Deadly’s wrangling of Piggy’s vast wardrobe, Scooter’s ongoing beef with his mother’s boyfriend, the meddling network president June Diane Raphael... I truly can’t get enough! Because they canceled it! Hmmph! And a pink satin heeled kick, and a hiiiii-ya!!

Anyway, the cameos and needle drops are expertly deployed, as fitting and offbeat as ever. I’m especially fond of Christina Applegate, Ed Helms, and Josh Groban’s appearances.

My absolute favorite episode, if you watch only one, is “Swine Song”. The network saddles Up Late With Miss Piggy with a brand manager who’s dead set on giving the show a face lift. Key and Peele, now reduced to running an Etsy shop after their own fiasco with the brand manager, feature.

I don’t know what happened, that we didn’t get more of The Muppets. Perhaps the 30 Rock-ification of the Muppets might have been more at home on a different network, with a different pool of veteran talents and sensibilities? Were we as a society just not ready in 2015 for a story about workplace friends, grounded by such sincerity? Eh, maybe. It’s no surprise Ted Lasso’s Bret Goldstein is one of the most vocal proponents for a Muppet comeback, with that in mind. Same niche!

If there is any justice in this universe… [clenches fist]

3. The Muppets Haunted Mansion, 2021, on Disney + is a welcome return to form after the platform’s first “exclusive” but paltry offering of Muppets Now (Don’t even... Don’t even bother to look…). Gonzo and Pepe challenge themselves to face their fears and spend the night in the spookiest place on earth, inspired by the beloved Disneyland ride. It’s great. If you’ve taken my advice this far and you’re still in, just. Just go for it. It’s 52 minutes. What else you got goin’ on? You’re elbow deep in some internet weirdo’s ramblings about a fifty year old troupe of talking socks.

Can’t get enough? Need to soak in hours more of puppety perfection?

4. The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, 2019, Netflix. Not technically the Muppets TM, but absolutely a must see for a burgeoning Henson buff. Did you ever see the original 1982 film? Do! It’s rentable. The Dark Crystal is some high fantasy, live action, no humans, all puppet madness. It’s disturbing and strange and beautiful. An age old tale of corruption and ideals, told by some of the cutest, oddest little creatures you’ll ever see. (Deet and Hup!!!) And I mean. C’mon. The vocal talent! They didn’t even fit Bill Hader on the wiki cheat sheet, that’s how stacked it is!

5. Fraggle Rock: Back to the Rock, 2022, Apple TV. This one’s definitely made for the kids, but it’s exactly as lovingly rebooted as you hoped.

We’re getting down to some slim, definitely non mandatory pickings, now. Uhhhh…

6. Miss Piggy made an appearance on Drag Race!

7. The creature workshop whipped up some puppets for Coldplay’s Biutyful music video!

8. And here’s a half hour supercut of a bunch of ads featuring the Muppets, in the last fifteen years or so. It’s not entertainment, per se, but at the very least, you’ll see the Kermit Sipping Tea origin.

PART 2: Outside Readings

The road to your Masters in Muppetfrickery has been paved by many scholars. Here are a few peers whose work you might like to check out, now that you’re no longer a tadpole, but a fully grown frog, with hard cover books and podcast subscriptions, and junk!

Jim Henson: The Biography, by Brian Jay Jones

This book is exactly the comprehensive, compassionate deep dive you hope it is. Watch out, though! It did make me cry in an airport.

I Am Big Bird: The Caroll Spinney Story, 2015.

A feel good documentary about the man under the bird. Available on Prime, Peacock, and others.

Muppet Guys Talking, 2017

Five of the original Muppet performers discuss their iconic characters. Muppetguystalking.com

Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street, 2021.

You guessed it! A doc about Sesame Street, on HBO.

Defunctland has also done some stellar coverage of the Muppets, Fraggle Rock, and more!

Follow ToughPigs.com for a survey of what's up and coming in the various Henson adjacent worlds, and top tier curation of Muppet history. They have a podcast, too!

If you are lucky enough to live in NYC or DC, you can even see some Muppets in person!

Museum of Moving Image

The Smithsonian

PART 3: The Oldies!

Whatever Muppet movies you had access to as a kid- there’s a good chance there’s one you missed! Good news is there’s still time to play catch up- whew!

Stitchy’s TOP TEN of the pre 2000 canon:

1. THE MUPPET MOVIE 1979 (Disney +)

2. MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND 1996 (Disney +)

3. THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL 1992 (Disney +)

4. THE DARK CRYSTAL 1982 (Rent Only?)

5. LABYRINTH 1986 (Netflix)

6. THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER 1981 (Disney +)

7. MUPPETS FROM SPACE 1999 (Rent Only?)

8. THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN 1984 (Prime)

9. THE MUPPET SHOW 1976-1981*** (Disney +)

10. EMMET OTTER’S JUGBAND CHRISTMAS 1977 (Prime, Peacock)

If you’ve missed any of the top 5, BOY HOWDY are you in for a treat. Especially if you’ve never seen the original Muppet movie. I am on my hands and Always Conveniently Off Screen Knees, begging you to give it a shot. If it’s been decades- give it a watch with fresh eyes. It’s a sweet, simple, silly story about a frog who dreams of making people happy. It’s about art, and integrity, and joy, and friendship, and it’s just about the only place you’re gonna get Hare Krishna jokes, nowadays.

Of course, this list is just a start. There were quite a few obscure TV specials and series besides, but as they are very hard to track down on streaming, I won’t insist on their viewing. I do highly recommend the series Jim Henson’s The Storyteller, 1987-1989, however. These episodes are all self contained if you can dig one up on Google, and they are exquisite pieces of art. John Hurt stars as the gruff old Storyteller, weaving fantastical yet tactile folk tales that have stuck with me for decades.

***Sheesh! The Muppet Show is like, 44 hours of television. I can do better than just point you at it in its totality! That brings us to:

PART 4: Going Right to the Source.

It’s the OG. THE Muppet Show.

By all means, crack open that laptop and follow your nose! There are legends aplenty to pick from, and just about every one of the 120 episodes has a classic moment, somewhere in there. As you scroll through the many guests, I’m sure you’ll be drawn to such greats as Rita Moreno (This appearance is The E in her EGOT!), John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Bernadette Peters, Steve Martin, Elton John, Madeline Khan, Gilda Radner, the cast of Star Wars, and Carol Burnette. They all put on fantastic shows that are essential viewing, but I must also put in a good word for some personal favorites.

Paul Williams, one of the great American songwriters, author of The Rainbow Connection and many other classics

Vincent Price, your favorite creepy uncle, and mine. (That’s right! We’re not just friends, we’re also cousins!)

Avery Schreiber, who never ever holds back, and whose episode features the fantastic Electric Mayhem rendition of “Tenderly”.

Sandy Duncan, who’s “Nice Girl Like Me” is an unforgettable, leggy revamp of the Manilow classic.

Mummenschanz, who are impossible to describe, but who would have ruled Tik Tok.

Leo Sayer, serving up three of my favorite 70’s tunes.

Pearl Bailey, bringing down the house with a pastiche sure to delight any musical theater nerd.

Harry Belafonte. “Turn the World Around” never fails to bring a tear to my googly eye.

Linda Ronstadt, lacerating the ONLY live vocals in the history of the show, and also crushing so so hard on Kermie. Relatable af

PART 4: Looking Forward

(video)

And you may ask yourself, "What Muppet Am I?" And you may ask yourself, "Why are there so many songs about Rainbows?"

What should come next for the Muppets? I say, if Disney is gonna own everything and everypiggy, go whole hog! Make Kermit the Avenger’s new therapist. Maybe he’s outside their insurance network (and dimension) but they have great rapport! Give Piggy a real late night slot, and get Grogu on to host a remote segment! Keep making the kids their kid shows, but embrace the grown up Gen X and Millennial audience with their own fare. Get back to the Muppets Sex and Violence roots, I double dog dare ya! Make a Muppet dating sim! Reboot Statler and Waldorf: From the Balcony on Youtube! Hook up Lil Nas X with the Electric Mayhem! Stop dicking me around and get the Muppets to host the Oscars, for real! Bring back my best boy Walter, and take advantage of the Muppets’ unparalleled skill for literary adaptation. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Muppet is a story that demands to be told!

Well, we do know one new series on the way in 2023- The Muppets Mayhem. A junior record exec must wrangle the unwrangle-able Electric Mayhem through the modern music industry as they record an album. I don’t know about you, but I’m crossing my furry little fingers.

#the muppets #muppet immersion #kermit the frog

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cornleypolytechnicgoeswrong · 8 months

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ik this is a big ask but could you explain the stuff on the iceberg [https://www.tumblr.com/cornleypolytechnicgoeswrong/687078174822137858/my-proposal-for-a-mischief-iceberg-theres-so] because i'm very new to this fandom and i have no idea what most of it is referring to or any way of finding out.

Hi! Yes of course I'd love to explain this post!!!

It's a very long post so I'll put the full explanation under this cut. I've tried to provide the clips where possible and actually had a really great time going back through my blog to find all these fandom memes haha! Lmk if there's anything else you want explaining + welcome to the fandom!!! :))

Thank you to everyone who's videos/posts/compilations I've included in this post!!! And if anyone has any more context or clips they'd like to add please add them :))

Winston - a dog that is supposed to be in their play Murder at Haversham Manor (The Play That Goes Wrong) but they lose the dog and run around the audience asking if anyone has seen him .

Bunk beds - In Peter Pan goes wrong there is a triple bunk bed that collapses into the actors (bbc recording of it)

Max + Sandra - one of the biggest ships in the fandom which is actually canon. They get together in Peter Pan goes wrong and their relationship develops across the 'goes wrong extended universe' (BBC ppgw video)

Snap snap guy - Dave Hearn originated the role of Max who plays the crocodile in ppgw. He said that people would recognise him in public and call him the 'snap snap guy'

[Corpses corpsing] - In one of their mischief movie night in improvised films, actors that were playing dead bodies started laughing at Harry Kershaw attempting to make something that rhymed with 'amygdala' and saying 'you have the feeling like the tightening of a sphincter' which was posted by mischief on their socials with the caption 'corpses corpsing'

Doors - mischief shows always have plenty of door gags where doors won't open, break, actors get stuck in them etc etc another source

Old neighbour Joe - a character in '90 degrees' an episode of the goes wrong show where half of the set is built sideways so they see 'old neighbour joe' falling past the window outside their house

Tattoos - a fandom hunt to try and work out what Dave and Shields' tattoos are of one two three

Doctor frog - in 'harpers locket' (TGWS) max has a piece of paper on which he's written his idea for a play about 'doctor frog'

BaEeEr? - confusion between Dennis and Vanessa about whether Vanessa is asking for a 'beer' or a 'bear' (90 degrees - tgws)

Delta Von Tassel - a character suggested for a mischief movie night in movie who was a character with no name that spoke in rhyming couplets which became Harry Kershaw playing 'delta Von Tassel' and struggling to rhyme DVT compilation

Bryony + Laura kiss - 2 people kissed during a performance of mischief movie night in after forgetting they're not allowed to due to COVID restrictions

Shields and Dave 54 below - shields and Dave hosted '54 celebrates the muppets' and caused a little bit of mischief one two

DOCTOR josh Elliott? - running joke during mischief movie night runs over one of the actors being a doctor and fandom confusion about what this actually meant one two three

Max/Trevor - another popular ship in the fandom between Max and Trevor (the stage manager/techie)

Jonathan Vs Harry Kershaw - rivalry between Jonathan sayer who played 'oscar' in most mischief movie nights and Harry Kershaw who frequently caused chaos in mischief movie nights rivalry compilation

MIND MINd Mind Mind - 'magic goes wrong' features a character called the mind mangler who does 'magic tricks' and has powers of the mind (mind mind) but the repetition effect after he says 'mind' starts to not work properly

Enjoying the armoire? - one member of mischief plays an armoire in one mmni but they soon discover none of them know what an armoire actually is one two

Put your trousers in the cabinét - Harry Kershaw plays a 'salacious filing cabinet' and sings a song where he rhymes 'say' with 'cabinet' which completely breaks Dave Hearn

Chris leask's rump - Chris leask (plays Trevor in tgws) lies on a table with his arse out as the other actors prepare to 'carve the rump' one two

Execute dick - at the end of their Shakespeare gws episode they wanted to have Robert say 'execute dick' but had to change it to 'execute Chris' because of the Bbc (timestamp- 16.39)

Sandra/max/Trevor - max has two hands meme merging 2 popular gws ships

Henry shields scarf - shields just wears a specific scarf a lot

Nancy and Dave fistbump - Nancy revealed her and Dave Hearn try to sneak a fist bump into lots of the goes wrong show episodes

Trevor/BBC guy - a ship that evolved out of the scenes in BBC Peter Pan goes wrong between cornleys techie (Trevor) and the BBC stage manager

Henry Shields + hot air balloons - Henry shields was trying to get his hot air ballooning licence before COVID

Catching the hat - a miraculous hat toss and catch during a mischief movie night in hat catch compilation

Harry Kershaw thrusting - Harry Kershaw thrusted so hard in a mmni that he fell over

Chris + Robert in the Amazon rainforest - as part of some advertising they created a video that means canonically Chris and Robert accidentally went to the Amazon rainforest

Cpds family run the BBC - big discussion about the reasoning behind why the BBC let cornley back even after the chaos they caused in the past condensed post of the discussion and a bit extra

Papel enforcer - a character created in mmni to catch 'a rogue nun' that was honestly baffling and confused even some cast members (looking at you Henry Lewis) papel enforcer compilation (the very first section of that video)

Koala/human love story - mmni where Bryony Corrigan plays a human spy and Henry shields plays her pet koala. They fall in love.

Shark monologue - Henry Lewis was playing Oscar in a mmni in which there is a shark monologue

Niall's fan catch - niall has a fan thrown to him in a mmni which he catches with one hand and it's very impressive

Teletubbies - at the end of the Bbc Peter Pan goes wrong, their set of a ship breaks off the main set and goes through various BBC studios. Along the way it picks up some teletubbies

Where be my man penis - Annie plays a king in their Shakespeare play (tgws) and has her clothes ripped off her by accident and looks down at her crotch and trying to maintain Shakespearian language says 'where be my man penis? Tis vanishèd' (timestamp 1.48)

Merry Fodliman's green fruit pastilles - groan ups cast performed at the royal variety performance in 2019 George Haynes did an Instagram takeover in which he and Nancy zamit gave fun celebrity stories but changed the celebrities names so you wouldn't know who they were talking about (but it was pretty obvious who they were talking about. Merry Fodliman for example was Kerry godliman a comedian)

Chris bean's speculum - Chris gets very weird about how Vanessa hands him a speculum during an improvved piece in the festival episode of tgws prompting discussions about why he cared so much the clip (timestamp 1.29)

Hello, Steve/it's ben - harry Kershaw as delta Von Tassel tried to rhyme something with another characters name but ended up using the wrong name

Very bad kiss, many dead hamsters - a quote from Groan Ups (a criminally underrated mischief show) after some characters have kissed at a school reuinion and accidentally killed/lost the school's pet hamster groan ups summary here and this post shows a decent view of the hamster situation though it's a joke that continues through most of the second act

Dennis/Vanessa/Sandra/max/Trevor/BBC guy - the max has 2 hands meme taken to the extreme combining many popular ships

70s family photo - all of cornley dressed like they were in the 70s as a gag in an episode of the goes wrong show

Mary had a little lamb (sexy) - a song from a mmni that is honestly just extremely disturbing but difficult to look away from

Jonathan on a dog lead - it's pretty much what it says. Jonathan was in a mmni instead of playing Oscar and he played a dog that crawled around on a lead and made everyone uncomfy

Harry Kershaw's YouTube channel - does what it says on the tin again. He has a very funny video posted.

I have painted myself green - shields painted himself green for a bit on twitter

Hope this was helpful in your mischief journey!!! There's so many more things I wish I could include on that iceberg haha

#this was genuinely so much fun but i spent way too long on it haha #i hyperfocused so hard making this i genuinely spent at least 3 hours putting it together and it felt like 10 minutes haha #mischief theatre #mischief comedy #the goes wrong show #the play that goes wrong #peter pan goes wrong #mischief iceberg #mischief movie night in #mmni

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duckapus · 3 months

Text

Curtain Call

So the fight against Showtime at the top of the tower isn't exactly going well given how powerful she is, but thanks to the war down on the ground the tides are about to turn, because a stray barrage of Missile Megs from Bowser misses Metal Overlord and hits the tower about halfway up instead, doing enough damage to make everything above start to fall. Everybody realizes that their only chance of maybe surviving is to jump out the window, and, well, Kamek and Cubot are the only ones who can fly and they're obviously not strong enough to carry everyone else, so all they can really do is hope for a miracle (or at least for Meme Energy to decide it'd be funnier for them to survive the fall).

And with a roar and a call of "YYYYEEEHHHHHAAAWWW!" a miracle does arrive, as they all land on something mostly solid far higher up than they expected.

"Need a lift, piss-ants?"

"Anti-Shroomy!?" The 4 then looks down at what exactly their savior rode in on, "you tamed Draco Piranha!?"

"Yep! Turns out he's not so bad once you show him who's boss."

It's at that point that Showtime reminds us that she can just ignore gravity, and she starts throwing attacks at them, prompting a chase down towards the ground.

...okay, I'll level with you, I've got a few small scenes figured out for all this but not a coherent story to stitch them together, and at this point I just want this done so bear with me. Eventually the fight reaches the ground, the group is still on the back foot, the chaos of the battle raging around them is messing with both sides, at some point Ice Melony and Mecha Desmond show up while fighting each other and Showtime gets caught in their crossfire and blasted elsewhere on the battlefield and the main group (plus the rest of the converted crew members who've managed to come over to either help or attack depending on which conversion they have).

At this point Metal Overlord seemingly manages to overpower Castle Bowser and tries to merge with him to become even more powerful...but it takes a lot more willpower than Metal has to overwrite Bowser's, so instead we get Heavy Metal Bowser.

(not my best work or even colored in but this is what you get. junior for scale)

The good new is that now the Robot converted characters are now under Bowser's control and helping the good guys. The bad news is that Showtime had a front row seat for this.

"Well now, there's an idea." she looks over the battlefield and spies a certain royal Siren fending off a frozen king and his army almost single-handedly, and in an outfit that's almost just her style to boot, "Jackpot."

She flies over, sending out a wave of energy that knocks away everyone besides Old King Winter and Sonata. Sonata levels her trident at the newcomer, "Your energy...you're the source of all this madness, aren't you."

She laughs haughtily, "Clever as always, kiddo. Now, both of you hold still." she raises her arms towards the two and they begin to feel something being torn out of them as painfully as possible.

Streams of colored energy pour out of them and into Showtime, gradually causing all three to glow. eventually it gets so bright that they can't be seen at all, and when it dies down only one titanic figure remains.

"Alright! Goodby Queen Cutie and he-llo Empress Sexy~!"

"Two down, five to go. Now, where's the mushroom girl?" She flies off towards Toadstool Tangle.

Meanwhile, the Ice and Undersea converted people start to undergo some rather horrific transformations, with Creep growing out of them at all angles. 4 unfortunately gets a front-row seat when it happens to 3. This continues with the Mushroom conversions (so really just Draco Piranha and the Tangle itself), then the Muppets and soon after the ghosts, and finally everyone gets to witness the battle between Heavy Metal Bowser and an even more powerful version of Fusion Showtime with features added from the other three trigger characters (I unfortunately did not draw the later Fusion Showtime stages. I might in the future but for now you'll just have to use your imaginations). It's a close match, but eventually even Bowser falls, and Wonder Showtime is born while the Group stands alone once again.

It seems as though all hope is lost, especially since most of them quickly get pinned down by the horribly mutated versions of literally everyone, but 4 gets an idea, "Wait, we still have the seeds, right?"

Mario manages to yeet Luigi away and pulls out a few of their collected Wonder Seeds, "Yeah, but they don't exactly do anything besides sit in your inventory."

"Not on their own, but they're part of a meme, right? And they're a new enough one that they've got way more Meme Energy than most things at that scale. Maybe I can turn them into something we can actually use!"

Meggy looks over from where she's trying to get what might be Saiko and Tari off of Ferb, "Can you even get a meme to that kind of power on your own?"

"..." he looks to a particular section of the battlefield, eyes full of determination, "No, No I can't." he runs in the direction he was looking, tackling the mutated Admiral 3 to the ground and pulling a tentacle that used to be an arm into a death grip.

"SMG4, what are you doing!?"

"My...job!" he's assaulted by the all-too-familiar sensation of the Creep burrowing into his body, his brain, along with the horrible memories that come with it, but he holds firm, "3, if there's anything left in there that can hear me, I need you!"

There's a long few seconds where 4 can't help but think he's just thrown his life away for nothing before the seven Wonder Seeds rise up and start to morph into raw Meme Energy spheres, "work...fast...ba...ka"

The two work in tandem to merge the energy into a single sphere, which then transforms into...

A Wonder Flower. Because what else could it possibly be? This one has the strange grey-with-yellow-accents color scheme of the Special World wonder flowers.

"You've got-erhf-one shot! Make it...count!"

Whoever's left of the group nods in understanding and rushes towards the flower in the hopes of reaching it before one of the mutants, and two hands grab its petals at the same time, one gloved, the other not...and something unexpected happens.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

YsOwUiRnEgAyKoIuDrYaOrUmRsEfArSoQmUsIiDdYeOtUoRsEiAdKeIcDoYmOeUoRnEiAtSsQtUiImDeYtOoUgRoE-

wYoAoHmOyOwYoAoHmOyOwYoAoHmOyOwYoAoHmOyO-

waitifyourehereandimherethenwhosflyingthepingaswhatthehellamwetalkingabout

A single figure sits on a rooftop, looking out at the sun setting over a city that no longer exists.

They are alone.

They are together.

A living monument to a bond forged in Ink and Fire.

An experience made flesh.

The moment seems to stretch on forever, as they revel in simply Being...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

But when they open their eyes, not even a second has passed.

"Holy shit."

They look down at the awestruck face (or, well, eyes) of Marcy, discovering that they're now significantly taller than either of them were before.

"I knew something crazy would happen but this..."

They grin, "I know, right? I...we?...Yeah, I feel amazing! Like I could do anything! Like-"

The earth shakes, and they look up to find that Showtime's definitely noticed the commotion, "-Liiike I'm wasting time. Let's-a go!"

They run towards the titanic villain, soon discovering that their fusion was only part of the Wonder Effect as an obstacle course of combined Super Mario and Splatoon elements springs up around them, forming a path up to their target. Obviously Showtime doesn't just sit and wait for them, attacking with everything she's got, but they tackle any challenge that comes their way with a combination of Meggy's athletics and skill and Mario's platforming prowess and Avatar powers, as well as some of the greatest reoccurring memes of both (of particular note is when they weaponize Meggy's poor cooking skills to turn an oven they found into a rocket to help them reach a higher level).

Soon enough, they reach the top of what's left of the Tower, nearly at eye level with Wonder Showtime. She leers down at them.

"And just what are you supposed to be, you little freak?"

"It's-a me, Marggy, and I'm not 'supposed' to be anything. But as long as we're both here, I guess I'll be the one to take you down."

She laughs at this, then gives them a sharklike grin, "Real cute, kids. But it's gonna take a lot more than two midgets in a trenchcoat to beat a goddess."

Marggy shrugs, "I dunno, eight on two seems like pretty good odds to me."

More laughter as she brings up her ice-covered arm, "Okay, okay. Now you die."

A blast of ice the width of an ocean liner barrels towards them, but rather than show any fear they simply activate a certain something they grabbed on their way up here: a Killer Wail Canned Special.

"NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINTENDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The beam of sound and ink cuts through the ice magic like it's nothing, badly cracking the ice arm and, after she moves it out of the way in pain, continuing on to blast a hole in the eye on her chest. They waste no time after that, continuing along the Wonder Effect's path towards the prone titan.

She can tell what they're doing, but at her size with her injuries doesn't have the speed or strength to get away in time. Instead, she directs every last one of her mutated minions, Creep tentacles, shadow arms, and whatever else she can muster at them, "JUST DIE ALREADY!!!"

Marggy continues to be able to outrun and outfight everything thrown at them, eventually diving into the hole they made and finding themselves in a massive chamber made of creep. And right in front of them is a face they've been hoping to see all day.

She's beat up, covered in Creep, her dress ripped to shreds and crown nowhere to be seen, and just barely conscious, but when she looks up at them her eyes are as bright as ever, and she doesn't look the least bit surprised to see them, "Hey honey. How was your trip?"

The bravado Marggy's been keeping up crumbles away, and they start to tear up, "Mom..." They run towards her, pulling her into a hug as best they can given her bindings.

They stay that way for a short while, then it's back to business, "Okay, Let's finish this." they look around the room, which seems to be slowly becoming active, for some kind of weak point, eventually spotting yet another massive eye directly above Emulator, "That looks about right."

They pull out Mario's Code Bow, which apparently merged with Meggy's Splattershot so become a futuristic Tri-Stringer, and aim it up at the eye. It's at this point that Showtime starts fighting back again, lashing out from the walls with more tendrils, but it's too late, and an inky, binary-covered arrow flies straight and true clean through the eye's pupil, and the entire room becomes enveloped in blinding blue light as Showtime screams in agony.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back outside, Showtime's outer shell is glowing just as much as the rest of her, and a shockwave of Wonder Power blasts out from her, destroying any Creep it touches and transforming the Mushroom Kingdom and its people back into their original selves. Everyone present begins to celebrate the fact that it's finally, finally over.

In the meantime, the Crew and the airship group all do their best to get their bearings and start heading towards the now rapidly shrinking glow. Which, of course, leads them right back to the old castle grounds.

Before anyone gets there, a small shape falls out of the sky and lands with a comical squeaky toy sound in the grass, standing up to reveal that it's Old Man Hobo back to his usual self "Does anyone know where I li-"

*WHAM*

Suddenly, Bowser crashes shell-first on top of him, clutching Lily to his chest. When the trigger characters had reformed up in the air, he'd made sure to grab onto her so he could break her fall. Giant superpowered turtles can handle falling from the sky, human children usually can't.

Next to land is Kermit, who hits the ground with a splat before immediately standing up, "Well. That was traumatic. Goodbye everyone, don't bother inviting me to the next arc." With that, he walks off with that G-Mod "Move doll up and down" walk that most characters use.

Peach, Floyd and Metal Sonic can all just float down, so they do so.

And finally, there's Marggy and Emulator, who use the last of the Wonder Flower's power to gently touch down right on the moat bridge, with her leaning on them once they're on solid ground and gravity takes effect.

After this there'd probably be an actual reunion scene and maybe an epilogue (plus the scene about Showtime's fate that I detailed in this post) but I am done with this arc. Duck is out, peace!

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superdorkcat · 1 year

Text

Assorted KH4 Predictions

Yozora shows up almost immediately after the fight with the Darkside, prompting Sora to run for the hills. He proceeds to avoid Yozora for at least the first half of the game, like that one meme of a floating guy chasing another guy down a hallway

To make up for the limited selection of Disney worlds, there are a number of sidequests related to Disney characters who have also ended up in Quadratum. I can see the Sanderson sisters being the antagonists of a side story arc - while they’re really popular Disney villains, Hocus Pocus likely won’t be made into a KH world anytime soon

Some of the cutscenes make offhand references to a “strange man dressed in red and black,” leading to the audience thinking that the game’s building up to a fight against Genesis (like how the bonus boss fight with Sephiroth in KH2 was heavily built up to). Then it turns out the real boss is Deadpool

Vanitas is in Quadratum since he was still in Sora’s heart at the time Sora got Thanos snapped there. He’s now stuck in the form of a Flood and is very grumpy about it

Sora runs into Vanitas while Strelitzia’s showing him around Quadratum and immediately makes it his mission to redeem his brother by resocializing him like a feral cat

The 14th life that Xehanort mentioned in Dark Road is revealed to be a Replica he stashed in Quadratum that managed to achieve sentience and develop a personality of his own like Xion did

Aside from being a Xehanort clone, Nort-14 is a normal city kid who has no idea who tf Sora is or why this random guy hates him so much

Vanitas tries to beat the shit out of him on sight

After spending some time as a Very Confused side character, Nort-14 gets roped into some Keyblade-related bullshit that serves as his, Vanitas, and Sora’s get along sweatshirt and leads to him joining the group

We finally get to find out what Demyx’s deal is!

Speaking of Demyx, he’s also in Quadratum and gradually grows into the role of Sora and co.’s goofy, incredibly irresponsible older brother figure

Either the Hundred Acre Wood returns as the side world (since Sora gets there by going into a book, he could theoretically still access it due to Quadratum being “the world of fiction”) or we get a side world based on the Muppets

Nomura finally gets his musical

Luxord is revealed to have been secretly working with Oswald the entire time in order to take down the Master of Masters

Also, since Quadratum is rendered in a realistic art style, that means that Oswald looks like a normal rabbit

Not counting the sidequests, a lot of the side content is just Sora and co. vibing in Quadratum

One of the Disney worlds is the Land of the Dead from Coco

Riku spends most of the game lost in the city, finally reuniting with Sora during the endgame only to find that his childhood friend is now besties with a sapient Unversed, a younger version of Xehanort, that weird guy he met in the Keyblade Graveyard that one time, and some random ginger girl

We get a couple of cutscenes showing what’s going on back in the regular KH reality, one of which is Lauriam searching for the other Dandelion Union leaders and Strelitzia in Twilight Town. He runs into Namine and the two awkwardly stare at each other while Kill Bill sirens blare overhead before Laurie just “nopes” out of there

Demyx’s relation to the Age of Fairytales isn’t brought up until relatively late in the game but not because Demyx is trying to avoid more work or anything. After thinking over Xemnas’s whole speech, Demyx just figured that Mansex was lying out his ass (like he always does) and doesn’t think to bring it up until it becomes relevant in the plot

Baldr is there to Cause Problems On Purpose, serving as a side antagonist like Maleficent and Pete in KH2. He serves as a parallel to each of the Quadratum kids - both him and Sora have special hearts that can easily connect to others, both him and Vanitas are the “dark half” to their lighter sibling, both him and Strelitzia struggled over insecurities that their older sibling didn’t have, and lots of fun can be had with Baldr interacting with Nort-14

#kingdom hearts #kh4 #kingdom hearts iv #yozora #sora kh #vanitas kh #strelitzia #xehanort #demyx #luxord #oswald the lucky rabbit #riku #baldr kh

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 2 years

Note

More yummy Sanctuary AU bc all i think about is this AU

Imagine a whole like- Harambe incident but instead of the kid and the gorilla it was you and the legacies, You were just visiting them on your day off when you fell in, guarenteed some people panicked and tried to call the employees but you're just like "Childe Im okay please stop whining it'll make me sad". Poor babies were so concerend. Caused a massive media uproar though.

Thankfully nothing else happened beyond a few interviews and a raise in security, many were scared to visit the creatures after your incident and many feel guilty even though it wasnt their fault. Imagine since Childe is the aquatic abyssal monster too that he'd help you back onto the surface little mermaid style.

Bonus: All the Harbingers have their own individual tanks/enclosures dressed to the nines, they're all very different monsters but they all love you just as much as They could.

( You know the meme where everyone is a muppet execpt for the protagonist? You're the protagonist and instead of Muppets its abyssal monsters. Seriously i feel like the abyss one day is just gonna hand you the monsters and be like-)

"this is Dave he like Cuddles and watching cats, he's orange so don't expect much in the brains department thx bestie

Xoxo

Abyss Twin"

!!!! oh yes i like this very much this is SCRUMPTIOUS

ok but the Legacies all fretting over you afterwards- you fell into Childe's tank and he downright refuses to let you go, holding you tightly and chittering in worry. once everyone is shooed out and the security issue is resolved you insist that the other Abyss creatures you're looking after be let in- your coworkers try to reason with you, but when you refuse to budge they have to relent (none of them really want to deal with an angry Diluc anyways, since he already suspects something's going on)

so all the Legacies you're looking after are let into Childe's enclosure, since they've also already learned to tolerate each other. Childe whines when Kaeya runs in and starts nosing his way under your hands, Diluc watching from afar to make sure you're alright. even Dainsleif and Albedo are there in the corner, sitting quietly but contently, and your coworkers marvel yet again at how good you are with dealing with Abyssal monsters- in fact, maybe they should assign you some more! it could do wonders for everyone's happiness

also YESSSS all the Harbingers are just so nice looking- i've only seen most of them once or twice but i'm already more invested in them than most other characters so ABSOLUTELY they are here too

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tawaifeddiediaz · 2 years

Note

I am an actual idiot, and I thought this was a prompt for an ask game that I reblogged ajdksdjada i'm so sorry. I love you most <3

anyway I wrote this for you by accident, so have a free fic <3

[the lovers, the dreamers (and me) — AO3 Link]

Word Count: 1514 words

There’s a frog staring at him.

Eddie blinks twice, thrice, four times — nope, it’s still sitting there.

(It’s not a real frog, which is good, because last time Buck and Chris brought a real frog into the house, Eddie unequivocally banned all wild creatures from the house.

He doesn’t need another afternoon of running after a frog bounding through the halls, only to find it smack in the middle of his kitchen, staring at its ceramic counterpart on the sink.

And he definitely doesn't need another afternoon of scrubbing and disinfecting the entire house from top to bottom because Buck and Christopher felt bad for the small reptile — apparently enough to take it out of its own home into their own.)

It’s a thick plush animal, about ten inches tall, the fabric soft and bright green against the dark brown wood of the dresser. The arms look vaguely flat where they’re crossed across its chest and there’s a white banner balanced on top of them that reads, “I <3 you.”

Those ping-pong ball eyes and the triangular-shaped collar are familiar, though, and Eddie can’t stop the laughter from slipping from his lips as he recognizes it.

“It’s Kermit the Frog,” Eddie tells his boyfriend, sparing a glance over his shoulder to where Buck’s leaning against the door frame, grinning widely.

“Sophia told me he was your favorite Muppet.” Buck thinks for a second, then tacks on, “and Winnie the Pooh but they were sold out of that one. Not in stock for another six months, because I guess you're not the only fan of the Hundred Acre Woods.”

“And I’m the only fan of the Muppets?” Eddie laughs, tilting his head back into his boyfriend as Buck’s arms come to wrap around his waist, his hands resting flat against Eddie’s stomach, fingers sweeping patterns across his skin. He can feel the pads of Buck's fingers even through his shirt, and it sends warm sparks down his spine. “What made you buy it in the first place?”

Eddie can’t remember the last time he saw a stuffed animal in his room that wasn’t Christopher’s, but he can feel Buck’s smile against his skin where they sway lightly, wrapped up together, and figures he doesn’t really care why as long as Buck’s still holding him like that. He’s comfortable here, leaning back into the broadness of Buck’s chest despite the minimal height difference between them

(He’s not even sure Buck’s conscious that he does it every time he wraps his arms around Eddie, moving them lightly to some invisible beat only he can hear and Eddie can feel, but he never wants him to stop — ever.)

“It’s microwaveable!” Buck exclaims, forgetting that his mouth is right against Eddie’s ear.

And…that doesn’t track, and leaves him more confused than before. Eddie’s pretty sure if he tried to microwave that, he’d set the whole house on fire.

“What?”

Buck, regrettably, lets go of him to cross over to the dresser, picking up the plushie to show Eddie the zipper on the back. He pulls out a pouch of something from inside instead of traditional cotton stuffing, leaving the stuffed animal little more than an empty bag. He holds the pouch up to Eddie, tossing it up in his hands. “This. You microwave this, and put it back into the stuffed animal.”

“A heating pad,” Eddie guesses, taking Kermit’s fleece covering from him. With a thumb, he traces the stitched letters on the sign, embroidered with black thread. It reminds him of one of those memes he learned about during his stint on Twitter, and Eddie can’t help but smile. “You remembered.”

“The Kermit memes? Yeah, they make you laugh every time, why wouldn’t I? But this one should help your shoulder, too, since it’s a heating pad. It’s also pretty heavy so you can use it on the nights I’m not here to lay on top of you.”

Eddie looks up, to where Buck’s eyes are sparkling with mirth, but also something else. Something that’s taken Eddie a long time to accept is for him. Something that he’s tried so hard to accept that he deserves.

“Here, wait, let me go warm it up so you can see.” Buck takes the sleeve from Eddie’s loose fingers and darts out of the room, leaving him with thoughts that swell in his chest and curl into his throat.

Eddie watches his boyfriend go, hearing the familiar pitter-pattering of his feet on the wood, then on the kitchen tile. He can count the seconds it’ll take for Buck to use the microwave that he’d convinced Eddie to buy — another new gadget that sits on the counter, symbolic of the changes Buck’s brought into his life. He can count the number of seconds it’ll take for Buck to come back to him, too.

Of all the countless acts of service, as Buck would label them from his love languages book, that Eddie’s been a recipient of, something about this one hits him straight in the solar plexus, knocking the air out of his lungs in one swoop.

Buck had remembered Eddie’s griping about how empty the bed was on the rare nights Buck isn’t here, had remembered the pain that still shot through Eddie’s right shoulder at random, and had remembered something Eddie’s sister had said. Possibly, probably , he was the one who reached out to Sophia about it. And he even remembers which memes Eddie likes the most, which in this time and age, feels like the equivalent of being tossed an apple in Ancient Greece.

In the very back of his closet, hidden in a bunch of old sweaters, is a box that holds a ring that had sent Eddie rocking back on his heels when he’d first pictured it on Buck’s finger. It was like it was made for him, and after that, there were no other rings to look at. He’d bought it on the spot, even though he and Buck hadn't been dating for more than six weeks.

It took the three month mark for Eddie to approach Christopher about the possibility of proposing, but last minute, they’d talked about an intermediate step. Eddie had known that rushing this would do no good for any of them, and he’d wanted to give the stages of their relationship the respect each of them deserve.

But then, Buck does things like buy Eddie a plush toy to help with the pain, loneliness and nostalgia, while still making him laugh, and all Eddie wants to do is drag him straight to the courthouse, taking things slow be damned.

Suddenly, he really, really doesn’t want to wait.

“Move in with me,” he blurts out, as soon as his boyfriend crosses the threshold of the bedroom.

And…that was not how he’d planned it, but for the wide-eyed look that passes over Buck’s startled face, he can’t bring himself to regret the hasty words.

“Move in with me,” he says more calmly, more sure of himself. It’s not a new decision by far, and Eddie needs to make sure that Buck knows that. “Christopher and I were supposed to ask you together, but…I couldn’t wait.”

“You want me to move in?” Buck whispers, his voice hushed as if Eddie’s going to take it back. His feet are frozen in the door, not daring to come any closer.

Which is unacceptable to Eddie, who isn’t the least bit ashamed of how much he likes when Buck’s pressed right into his space — something he can really only tolerate from two people in his life without feeling the need to pull away.

He walks over to his boyfriend and pulls the now assembled and warm stuffed animal from his slack hands, reaching out to tangle their fingers together. His thumb finds the familiar grooves of Buck’s knuckles, stroking over them in a way that hopefully conveys what his words never could. “Yeah. I want you here with us, with me . Always, Buck.”

Buck’s eyes look suspiciously wet, his lips parted, and Eddie can’t resist pulling him into a kiss, holding him close, waiting him out.

“Is it because of Kermit?”

“Is it because — what, Buck, no!” Eddie laughs, shaking his head at the wet amusement in Buck’s voice. “Chris and I talked about it way before you brought Kermit into our lives. You’re here so often anyway that sometimes I forget that you don’t officially live here — and it’s…honestly it’s one of the worst things to watch you walk out the door even though I never want you to leave. So…move in with us?”

Buck kisses him, tasting suspiciously of salt but always of love and Eddie smiles against his mouth, knowing the answer. His other thumb traces the black lettering on the stuffed animal still held tight in his hands, and when Buck pulls away, his eyes sparkling with more than playful mischief this time, Eddie knows what he’s going to say.

“Yes.”

(Two months later, Eddie will ask him another question.

Buck will smile again as he repeats, “Yes.”)

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cookinguptales · 4 months

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Hello, hi! I read your year in review post, and it inspired me to come say hello. I fell off Tumblr a few years ago and have tentatively crawled back over the last few months (honestly, it was the Goncharov craze that got me nostalgic for Tumblr again - I love Tumblr memes). I was really happy to see that you were active here and still writing fic for a new fandom that I also love!

I wanted to let you know that I'm a huge fan of your work and still am even after all these years! Your writing is so thoughtful and detailed, with a warmth and sincerity that makes it far too easy to consume a lot all at once, like a big mug of hot chocolate that you finish too quickly. Not just your creative writing, but your nonfiction blogging on fandom and health accessibility and travel too! I still go back and re-read some of my favorite fics you wrote when I'm feeling the itch to indulge in an old fandom! I had a big Muppet deep dive because I loved your fic so much, and now I go to work every day at a desk covered in Kermit stickers!

And I should have told you all of this a while ago. I regretted not reaching out for a long time. But now I have! And I hope you're okay with me being all mushy and earnest (how cringe!) out here in the open. If you don't want to post a response, I'm fine with that. I'm happy to just say hi, and I hope that my message brings you some joy/pride/whatever you need right now. Wishing you Merry Holidays and a Happy New Year!

Sorry for the delay! Life has kind of been a lot lately!

This is very sweet to hear, especially because... yeah, things have been a lot, and I've been struggling with feeling really down on myself. So thank you. Hearing that my fic feels like that makes me really happy. ;;

My dad literally just emailed me about a Bunsen & Beaker ornament set he found, so clearly I'm still into them. (I... bought it, too. haha. This is not even my only Bunsen & Beaker ornament.) The Muppets are a real comfort canon for me, so I'm really happy that I was able to share some of that with you.

Honestly, there's something that feels very... idk, genuine about writing and posting fanfic for me. I think fiction only works if you really give yourself over to it, whether that's getting really engrossed in the emotions of fictional characters as the writer or as the person reading it. I don't think it's cringe to be earnest about your feelings. What's the point, really, in being anything but earnest about them? I think it's nice to be able to be genuine about these things. So thank you for being genuine with me. I know that can feel a little vulnerable sometimes.

As for your second ask, which I also saw, anyone is free to DM me whenever they want. I'm not always... super great at responding promptly, especially right now. But yeah, we may not be friends yet, but talking is the only way to get closer. :)

(And you'll have to tell me what the new fandom we share is!)

#replies #praise

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shrekgogurt · 1 year

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Thank you for the tags today! @fatalfangirl and @palimpsessed

Alright I have been—as @onepintobean says (and possibly others)—living in WIP city. In fact, I tossed around the idea of making a meme edit of Roku City for my new tenancy instead of writing. As for my actual location, I’m still out *west* visiting folks and writing when available. My main focus is the fic portion of my secret-snowflake for @tea-brigade (Escape to Space) which at this point is aggressively late. If you haven’t checked out the companion playlist I gifted them on Christmas Day you can do so here!

Writing excerpts after the cut!

Some vague background Brobelove from Escape to Space which will be out sometime this month:

I swing my arms open for a hug, “Aggie!”

“No,” She drops two shopping bags on the counter (only Agatha would go shopping at a time like this) and levels me with a glare, “You’re on thin ice.”

Niamh snorts behind me, “You can say that again.”

Agatha sends Niamh a warm smile and I sneak a small look back at her. This is my favorite part. The corner of her mouth twitches up but it’s her eyes that really betray her. She looks at Agatha like she hangs the moon and stars. Niamh may not be my biggest fan, but I’m rooting for her. She makes Agatha happy in a way I never could.

I have not touched I Knew A Boy, I Knew A Man in *checks calendar* exactly a month now and I miss her. However, I have scrounged up some scraps that will eventually be Ch. 5:

Bunce coyly smiles into her glass, “Come to think of it. Simon did used to complain about you taking really long showers back at school.”

I will look anywhere other than Snow and I certainly will not turn any shades of pink.

“So, what’s the verdict, Baz?” Dev asks, “You as much of a dirty slag as that muppet?”

Snow chokes on his drink.

It’s late so I’m not tagging anyone else but hurrah first WIP Wednesday of the new year!

#wip wednesday #carry on #ikabikam #escape to space #not letting myself sign up for any more fests until the latter is posted #dev is an inflammatory presence

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pennyparsnip · 6 months

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Ohhh hoh, boy! A jubilant "Howdy, Neighbor" to you indeed!

I have an OOC happy moment for everyone!

I don't know how many people will remember me saying waaaaaay back in the early days of the AU that once the actual plot started going, I would take some time to clarify up some character stuff as well as list general trigger warnings and things of that nature! Well guess what! Today, that day has come! It is finally time!

Since the journey of the Once-ler fandom began on Tumblr, I thought it only appropriate his journey began similarly! Right here on Tumblr! Now it is going to branch off yet again to another platform that I'm sure many of you around these parts are familiar with; Archive of Our Own (aka ao3)! If this worries you because of website security, fret not! I will not be typing and uploading directly to ao3. The lore will be backed up and safe!

Now, what is it exactly that is getting posted there? Well, let me tell you! It is what I am calling "The Deep Lore"! It is lore that is extremely significant to not just what is happening in the AU, but what happened to Penny before it all took place. What's fun about it is you don't need to know it in order to enjoy the AU! So if you miss it, you'll still have fun :)

The Deep Lore is going to be basically 100% of Penny's pre AU lore; who she was, what she was up to, how she came to the universe she made, all that juicy stuff. Not much of it will directly have to do with MO!Wally (Mister Onceler Wally in case anyone has missed that up to now), but it will fluff the horror elements of the story to read what gets uploaded there. There will be no illustrations in it at all (most likely), and that is a symbolic choice! One which I will let you chew on and think about!

Now on to the next thing!! I wanna clear up the narrative tone for you. I know its been confusing, and that has been on purpose! It will probably not become less confusing! Sorry! Mystery and obfuscation are kinda the names of the game, Neighbor! 💚🤭

Minor notes:

Referring to me as Penny is fine! That is my actual preferred name! I gave it to Penny (the character) for the sake of writing a 4th wall breaker!~

Talking to me on Discord is OOC!

Okay! So! From here on out, a completely OOC moment from me, the runner of the accounts and maker of the characters is going to be indicated by ((double parenthesis))! Sometimes, the characters might refer to me as "The Narrator," but if they do, it will probably just be for memes or whatever silly shit. It wouldn't be a canon thing. So if you see ((double parenthesis)) for some reason from here on, that is why. It is an OOC moment!

That leads to Penny!

Without spoilers, who is she in the story? Who/what is she to me? How do I feel about her? I will tell you!

Penny is The Artist. Her name is Penelope Jane Parsnip, and she prefers to just be called Penny. She is The Artist for the Biggering AU of Welcome Home! She is from our world and finds her way into the AU she made through means that you will read about on ao3. She has access to our internet, and that includes when she is outside of her reality! That is how she is posting about the AU; she is using human world internet that she can access from the AU via her smart divices that come from reality!

What is Penny to me, the actual Penny?

I'm not sure what the label for her is, but! I can explain her, I think! She started as simply the way I represented myself to the audience when I needed to speak for whatever reason. She was aesthetically based on me save for the fact i gave her a different eye color from me because she's a cartoon (I do actually have heterochromia like she does, though! That is true about me, haha! ). She had my personality because she was essentially just a mouthpiece for me! I thought of her and designing her as quite literally making a digital muppet of myself, and nothing really more than that.

But then it occured to me as I wrote more and fleshed out more details.. if I am going to write a character like Onceler Wally, who has no regard for the 4th wall whatsoever and understands what he is.. he would totally want to know the one who made the world he's in. So then Penny started to become less of me (the person) and more of her own character. But by the time I had these realizations, she had already been represented several times, and it was too late to change it! So I just took the personal L's about that, lol! I have let her go, despite the fact that she is a character based very directly on myself. She's her own gal now as far as I am concerned. I will still use her to represent myself, of course, because she does look like me, haha! But I don't have the emotional attachment to her to call her a self insert/ sona or anything like that. I'm not really sure what she counts as now. She exists sort of by accident, lol!

The tone from here on with all this in mind:

I will continue to post as Penny, The Artist! That is it! I don't think it's fun to lay out all the mystery and surprises for you by laying everything out. I hope you keep having fun and thank you for your support! Seeya in The Deep Lore @>:)

Oh! And one more thing! Here, I have the prelude for you! You read the whole post, enjoy the lore tidbit while you wait 💚🤭

#welcome home au #welcome home biggering au lore #onceler wally #onceler #biggering au #you're looking for me again #arent you?#silly silly @>:)#greedler wally #welcome home biggering au

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vagablondviking · 8 months

Text

I need friends...

Hoping to cultivate a feeling of community here. Twitter was my online happy place until Napoleon Bonapartheid ran it into the ground. So much rampant hate and misinformation now. I still check Twitter daily, but it doesn't feel like home anymore. Blue Sky has potential, but without a gif library or direct messages, it's rather limited in scope.

Gifs and memes are my love language.

I'm hoping Tumblr is like Twitter in that once you follow enough accounts, you start interacting and it becomes fun. Twitter made no sense at first, like there was no point to it. You had to stick around long enough to crack Twitter.

I've heard of a learning theory called the "circle of fun" which describes a certain return on investment when learning something new, like a musical instrument. You spend forever learning basic technique, but eventually the day comes when you can play a song you enjoy. So you practice that one song a lot. Then, that joy feeds your desire to practice more and suddenly a whole world opens up for you.

Anyway, hi. I need Tumblr friends.

I'm a nursing student and I work part-time in ESL to pay the bills. I'm AuHD (autistic and ADHD). I am happily single without human children. I am owned by two cats (a blue point Siamese named Sven and a tuxedo named Fig).

I'm a classical history nerd and have an undergraduate degree in Greek & Latin. I was in a classical languages grad program for a while, but my life imploded (left an abusive partner, moved twice in the span of a month for my own safety, changed jobs) and I had to drop out. I really hope someday I can go back and finish the program. Just for me, for my own joy. I always enjoyed classics, but never felt I had any real talent that would make an academic career feasible.

I am a voracious reader, although schoolwork does rather infringe on my pleasure reading of late. I've also just found it difficult to concentrate in general lately, what with the world being on fire and whatnot.

Favorite authors:

Robin McKinley Terry Pratchett Jane Austen Neil Gaiman JRR Tolkien

Fandoms I enjoy:

Good Omens Lucifer Jane Austen Tolkien Monty Python Blackadder Muppets Bridgerton Outlander (book series, not so much the show) Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon

#Good Omens #Lucifer #Jane Austen #Tolkien #Monty Python #Blackadder #Muppets #Bridgerton #Outlander #Game of Thrones #House of the Dragon #Robin McKinley #Terry Pratchett #Neil Gaiman

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runawaymarbles · 1 year

Note

tumblr accidentally unfollow you when i tried to send this ask because the buttons are ❤ right next to each other. anyway 3 4 and 7 for the ask meme?

i GOT THAT NOTIFICATION and i was so vaguely confused (([miette voice] liz unfollows?????))

3. Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?

I jump. I am a chronic jumper. But the thing is, I do not have by best writing sessions when I am jumping because the second something gets sticky I bounce to something else and don't work on the actual problems. This is why I wrote 50k of graymalkin lane, but it was just random scenes, and I spent like a year and a half actually going through and ordering them and adding transitions: it was a mess.) For like eight months the muppet fic was just a bunch of random paragraphs that I eventually tried to put together into something cohesive and that's why it's Like That. The aziraphale fic I literally printed, cut out each section, and pieced them together on my kitchen table.

I love scrivener but it enables the hell out of this.

4. Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

Yes. Or at least I bash about some notes in a separate scrivener page. If I deviate I just update the notes and then I am still sticking to the outline. Technically.

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?'

currently??? it's the thinking. that little space in the back of my mind that for like fifteen years was just consistently writing fic in my head when I was bored has of late been thinking about other projects. So when I sit down and try to do the writing part I am making it up as I go, which is more difficult, so I've had a lot of trouble sitting down and actually getting anything done.

behind the scenes meme

#writing #ask meme #ty ty #forcing me to face my problems #op #asks

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duckapus · 4 months

Text

Mario vs Muppet

As the battle bus rolls across the felt countryside, Kamek stands up from his seat near the front and turns to address everyone, "This is it. The last seed. Given Kermit's abilities, we'll have to be especially careful not to be see-"

"No."

Everyone looks to see who spoke, and it's Mario, who's standing up as well with his head lowered, eyes hidden by the bill of his hat, "We've tried the stealthy approach twice now, and it's only made things worse. We know where the seed is, we know what Kermit can do, we're riding in a fucking tank, and quite frankly he's made this personal." He raises his head, revealing a steely glare and a fire in his eyes, "I say we do this the Avatar way and storm the place. Memes, violence, excessive amounts of fire, the works."

While some of the group has concerns, there's a general ascent to the idea. 4, Meggy and Marcy in particular remember all too well the first conversion they ever saw.

Seeing that they're in agreement, Mario nods firmly, "Alright, here's what we're gonna do..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a lovely, peaceful day at Muppet Castle. The kind of day that makes you absolutely sure that nothing can go wrong.

*HONK! HOOOONK!*

Those are, of course, the best days for everything to go wrong.

Kermit gets out of his throne to see what that noise is, and his eyes bulge out when he sees the battle bus about to hit the wall at top speed, "WHAT THE FU-"

*CRASH!*

He's thrown ragdolling across the room, which is now full of dust, rubble, and a completely undamaged tour bus on tank treads. The door opens, revealing Mario with a rocket launcher, "YOU KILLED-A MY BROTHER! YOU SONS OF-A BITCHES!"

With that, and a rocket that Kermit just barely blocks with his shadow hands, the rest of the group pours out of the bus with various weapons in their hands, apart from Phineas, Ferb and Cubot who stay inside to use the bus's weapon systems.

4 speaks up, "Alright Kermit, give us the Wonder Seed or we'll take it from you."

Kermit gulps, then scowls and pulls out the blue seed, "Oh, you mean this?" and then, in a show of defiance, he puts it in his mouth and swallows.

Everyone looks at him with varying degrees of shock, with Marcy as the first to recover, "Well, I guess we're dissecting frogs today."

"GUARDS!"

And so the fight's on. Muppets and shadow hands pour in from every direction, many immediately getting blown up by the battle bus's arsenal. Marcy and Schezo raise their blades and jump directly into the fray, while Meggy, Kamek and Sig try to keep their distance and fire ink and magic from afar. 4...ends up in a slapfight with a converted Fozzie Bear. And Mario only has eyes for Kermit, chasing him all over the battlefield in a frenzy of missiles and Madness, which eventually causes the two to separate from the brawl end enter the halls, which thankfully takes the shadow hands out of the equation.

"I'm-a gonna get you!"

Kermit runs for his life, knowing even in his corrupted state that he stands no chance against an Avatar in full Crazy Stupid Mode. He rounds a corner, and when he sees where he is he grins, "Oh, Luigi!"

Mario freezes in his tracks at that name, and then flinches back when he sees the felt form of his lost brother burst out of a nearby door and plant himself between the two, Kermit smirks down at him.

"That's right, if you want to get to me, you'll have to go through your brother first!" He throws his head back in an evil laugh...which lasts for only a few seconds before a now flaming, ragdolling Luigi hits the wall behind him, "WAT!?"

Mario just gives him a blank wall-eyed stare, "You don't know me very well, do you?"

Kermit looks on in horror as Mario slowly approaches, "Iiiiiii'm about to whup some-bo-dy's aaaaaaass..." before running again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the throne room, things are...more-or-less going in the group's favor for once, seeing as the crowd of Muppets has thinned out significantly. Not to say everything's going smoothly. In particular, Schezo's apparently accidentally said something inappropriate yet again and is on the receiving end of a Miss Piggy Beatdown, and 4's still "fighting" Fozzie.

They end up near a balcony, where Statler and Waldorf are of course watching all the action, "Uh, not that I'm complaining, but shouldn't you be down here trying to stop us like everyone else?"

"Are you kidding? This is the best show they've had all week!"

"Maybe even all year!"

"Plus my grandkids would kill me if they found out I attacked Phineas and Ferb."

"Mmm."

He just shrugs at this, "Fair enough."

"I'LL SHOW YOU PENETRATION! HIII-YAH!"

"I CLEARLY MEANT WITH MY SWORD, YOU THICK SIDE OF BACON! AREIADO!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

And now back to Kermit, who's found a table to hide under.

"Come here, fishy fishy!"

He shivers in fear, praying that the crazy plumber moves on, and after several seconds of silence he's almost convinced that it's safe...

And then a gloved hand shoots down around his neck, "Got ya bitch!"

He yanks the oversized frog up and onto the table, a massive knife in his free hand, and Kermit breaks, "Please, I'll give you anything to let me go!"

Mario...seemingly thinks it over, a wild look in his eyes, "...offer me money."

"O-of course, all the money you could ever want!"

"Offer me power."

"I-I'll make you a king! I'll give you Anything!"

"Anything!"

"Just name it! What do you want!?"

"...I want my brother back, you son of a bitch." And the knife comes down, tearing through the soft fabric body, fluffy clouds of stuffing falling around them as the seed is exposed. And then he grabs the seed and goes back the way he came, leaving what's left of his enemy behind...

...which has a single, hilariously ironic remark about the situation, "Wow, what an asshole."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few moments later, Mario bursts back into the Throne room, "I GOT IT!"

4 gives him a thumbs up from where he's sitting on the now-unconscious Fozzie, "Perfect! Alright everybody, let's blow this joint!"

The rest of the group heeds his words, finishing up with whoever they're fighting and going back to the bus. Once they're all in, Phineas does a three-point turn before flooring it back out the hole they'd made, and once they're a few yards away from the castle makes a sharp turn towards the Tower.

"Get some rest guys. It's gonna be a long drive, and we need to be ready for whatever's in there."

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