#god this year is fucken killing me

[moregraceful]

put 712 of the worst words ever put in a google doc tonight BUT! it is 712 more words in the google doc than i had yesterday. this fic will be more than 2k, so help me god

#the past six months have been so weird after posting over 200k last year (including the longest fic i've written since bandom) #i think i would have been fine continuing to post 1-3k one shots all year if i had not just had to request extended time off of school #but between that + having no idea if i have a regular schedule at the library + my nonprofit boss sending a harrowing welcome back #i'm like by god jason robertson we are going to take a couple of leisurely 7-10k+ strolls to get you a boyfriend or two this summer #well all that + being horrendously writers blocked on the other two longer projects lmfao oh my god #10k deep in one and every time i open the google doc a portal to hell opens up in my living room #0k into the other bc every time i open my outline another different portal to hell opens up in my shower #i get no rest. i get no peace. every morning i wake up and 5 more demons are- oh my god #bro my fucken train of thought just got completely derailed by spotify. i know i'm the last person in the world to know this but #3oh!3 and big freedia remixed rebecca black's friday?? and it's completely unlistenable?? girls what did you do #3oh!3 kill me bc no time traveler ever took their faces in hand and kissed them gently on the forehead and looked into their eyes #said ''please focus on coloradosunrise it will literally course-correct the trajectory of your career from frat house gimmick to #rowdy but respectable indie edm artists. you can remain true to your warped tour dirtbag origins but you HAVE to develop THAT sound'' #like the chainsmokers are a joke but i feel like THAT + ANGRY EMO GIRLS + THEIR TOTAL DISREGARD FOR MARKETABILITY... could have been THEM #when the piano drops?? hello?? i had so many mental breakdowns in college listening to that song they could have defined a generation #like who else is gonna get noah cyrus and ashe and gayle and olivia rodrigo's vision. only warped tour dirtbags. #me @ myself [so lovingly]: what are you talking about. how old are you #me @ myself: talk to me abt earth 2 in which 3oh!3 remixed i got so high that i saw jesus....and it whipped ass #also. i had to google how old i was. THREE TIMES last week. #the minute i turned 32 apparently i was like i'm in my mid-30s now the rest of this decade is NOT my business until i turn 38 #this post was supposed to be an uplifting reminder to myself to keep pushing forward and trying hard and to not let the rot consume me #but i think i just drove off a cliff like fully my god #i need listen to big freedia more she rules #fresno oilers.txt #another banner day in the tags with kasper moregraceful

[mavrintarou]

[Daddies in December] Haitani Rindou

I feel like I make these Tokoyo Rev baddies into softies...

Warning: soft Rindou, smut

.

Aside from getting blood splatter on his nice and expensive as hell suits, the next thing that Rindou hated was when Y/n was upset with him and her cold shoulders.

The first time she was upset with him and gave him cold shoulders (which implied no sex and no talking, he couldn’t even hold her hand) he nearly went mad. He never had an issue wooing a woman back after making her mad but Y/n held her fucken ground. She would not forgive him until he explained how he learned from the lesson and how he was going to do better.

The damage he took to his pride just for her forgiveness.

Since then, in their two-year relationship, he ensured that if it was a mistake on his behalf, he would own up to it and apologize immediately.

Earlier that day he was fine, his day was going well but it wasn’t until he received a text message from her asking what he wanted for dinner and he responded, it’s up to you.

His fucken thumb tapped the send button too fast before his brain could register that she did not like that response.

“Well if it was up to me, I wouldn’t be asking you in the first place?”

Her reply was received five minutes later, okay.

Okay.

Rindou exhaled deeply, her reply sat heavily on his mind. It was neither good nor bad but he couldn’t tell by her tone if she was upset and annoyed at his response.

His palm was sweaty as he gripped the large and obnoxious bouquet and headed home. He wasn’t even sure why he was nervous, he just knew something was different about Y/n and he hated that he couldn’t figure it out. With her, she was always keeping him on his toes.

Her emotions were all over the place now that she was pregnant.

One minute she’s happy he is home and the next minute she’s mad because the kitchen shears aren’t sharp enough and the next minute, she’s sad with tears streaming down her cheeks about the squirrels being cold in the middle of winter.

He knew very little about pregnant women, had to purchase two books, and educated himself when he was at work.

“Are you… fucken reading?” Ran burst out laughing when he entered the board room and found Rindou engrossed in a book. When his younger brother didn’t bother to jab him back with a snarky response, he picked up the second book and his eyes widened. “Y/n is pregnant?”

“Yes,” Rindou murmurs, “maybe you should also read too, I saw a book on how to be an uncle.”

Their apartment was quiet and that upped Rindou’s nervousness.

“Baby?” he called softly, toeing off his shoes. “Y/n? Love? Where are you?”

“In the kitchen.”

His long legs took him straight into the kitchen where he presented his bouquet. He opened his mouth, like a child ready to present a present to their mom but when he saw her tear-streaked face, he tossed the bouquet on the table in front of her and was immediately at her side. “What happened? Who do I need to kill?”

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand but Rindou was faster, reaching to wipe her tears away.

“It’s not that…” she muttered.

“What made you and baby sad then?” he rephrased, one hand cupping her cheek while the other rubbed her belly which was just beginning to show.

Instead of answering, Y/n turned to point at the counter a few feet away. He stood up and face contorted. “Onions?”

“I was trying to make dinner but accidentally cut off the butt of it and couldn’t finish chopping the onions before I started crying.” She continued to wipe her eyes, “goodness that fucken stings.”

Rindou’s lips tremble before he laughs wholeheartedly.

Y/n shoulders shook as she joined him, laughing hysterically.

“God, I love you.” He kissed her softly, “never a dull moment with you.” Y/n moans against his mouth, her hand quickly undoing the buttons of his dress shirt and he chuckled. “Needy?”

“Just a little…” she pulled away, glancing at his swollen lips she just hungrily nipped at. “I had a dream about you.”

Rindou stood up, pulling her up and tugging her along as he led them to the couch. He pulled her down his lap, “do tell me, what was it about?”

Y/n’s hand rests over his heart, feeling the beats beneath her palm. “You were fucking me…”

“Hmm?” he urged her to continue.

“You… were holding me, your strong arms,” she touched his muscular bicep, “supporting my weight and pounding hard into me while I hold on to your shoulders…”

Rindou’s eyes darken as he nods his head, “ah, is that so?”

Y/n nodded, she reached to brush his lower lip with her thumb. “I’ve been thinking about it all day…”

Rindou nipped her thumb before soothing it with his tongue, “what should I do about it?”

She looks up at him, “I think you should fuck me like how you did in my dream?”

“You would like for me to turn it into a reality?”

“Yes please,” she whispered.

He nodded his head with a small smirk, “anything you want.” He pinched her chin between his finger and thumb, bringing her face closer until he could kiss her again.

Without breaking their kiss, he guided her to straddle his lap, his hands slipping underneath her shirt, feeling the warmth of her naked skin. He cupped her breast through her bra before they slid behind to undo the claps. Rindou pulled away from their heated kiss, to tug her clothing off.

His lips pressed against her collarbone, tongue running up to her throat. “You want my cock? Then take me out then.”

Her hand reached for his pants, tugging at his belt and button before pulling the zipper painfully slow. His cock was already erect, bulging against the materials of his boxers. Her hand slid inside, stroking his cock.

Rindou's head rests against her chest as he groans already underneath the touch of her hand. “Faster, baby…”

Her hand fastened until he felt himself ready to combust. He gripped her wrist, “hurry and strip so I can fuck you like your dreams.”

Y/n quickly scrambles to stand, pushing down her jeans and underwear.

Rindou leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her small bulging belly. “You look so fucken sexy pregnant.”

Her fingers threaded through his neatly combed hair, “even when I become bigger?”

“Hmm,” he agreed, standing up to push his pants and boxers down.

In one swift movement, he picked her up, her legs and arms locking around his body. “Let’s make your dream come true, ‘eh?” He lowered her and thrust into her at the same.

Y/n hugged him close, legs tightening around his waist. Her breath shook as she clamped around his cock. “Feels – feels just like my dream…”

Readjusting his arms, he hooked them behind her knees and began to slowly rock her on his cock.

“Rin…” Y/n moaned, her clit rubbing against his patch of trimmed public hair. Rolling her hips, she took him deeper doing so, “yes… yes, Rin!”

Rindou grunted, thrusting harder that their living room was filled with the sound of slapping skin.

Y/n’s back arched as she tightened around him, cumming.

Groaning, Rindou thrust a few more times before he came. He can feel his cock tugging with each spurt of cum. He maneuvered his arms to support her weight. “Bath?”

She nodded, her head still buried against the curve of his neck.

Kicking their clothes aside, he slowly walked towards the hall down to their room. With each step, he felt her clamp around him, making him flinch.

“If you keep squeezing me like that, I’m going to get hard again.”

. . .

>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

#tokyo manji gang #tokyo revenger #tokyo rev #tokyo revenger smut #tokyo revenger rindou #tokyo revenger x y/n #tokyo revenger x reader #rindou haitani #rindou smut #rindou fluff #rindou x y/n #rindou x reader

[blubushie]

Gonna become the lil moth that comes by for your musings 🫵👁️👁️ /lh

I'd been wanting to ask this a bit, if you could tell me about what Alice Springs is like? I'm curious for two reasons — I have a plot in mind, and it'd take place in Alice Springs, and I'd like to be able to see better through the eyes of some who's lived there and not rely solely on what I see online (especially because I wouldn't want to represent it in ill light), but also because I'm genuinely curious as to what the town is like. Plus I like to interact with your blog cuz you're cool 🫵🦋

Also hopefully the ask doesn't come off as odd or anything, I doubt it will but I overthink shit lmao 🗿👍

Crime.

Crime crime crime crime crime crime crime SO MUCH CRIME it's the most dangerous place in Australia because of all the fucking crime. You know WHY there's so much crime? Cuz there's a fuckton of poverty and literally NOTHING TO DO IN ALICE SPRINGS. And kids wanna entertain themselves, so they make themselves nuisances. And then start killing people.

It's hot as fuck. I cannot describe the level of hot. It's 50° hot. It's fucking hot.

The sky has a brown tint most of the time. Not because of pollution or anything, it's just dusty as fuck. Good luck breathing in summer, if you have dust allegies you're good as dead. We get sandstorms sometimes!

Did I mention there's crime? We had five 12 year olds steal an SUV once and bring it on a high speed chase on the Stuart. It's a miracle no one died. The youngest child involved was 10.

Sometimes we have boat races on the Todd. And by sometimes I mean once a year. But did I mention it's hot as fuck? Yeah it's a desert. Yeah we don't have water. So instead we all build cardboard boats and shit and run around in the dry riverbed of the Todd like we're in the fucking Flintstones and call that a race. We had to cancel the race one year because of water. We're the only boat race to ever have to cancel because there was water. It's called the Henley on Todd Regatta if you're curious.

We have a racecourse, but we can't race horses cuz it's too hot. So we just race camels instead. This is normal.

Did I mention there's crime? And that it's hot? There's so much crime we had a youth curfew and black folks aren't allowed to buy takeaway alcohol. Some pubs won't service a blackfella and this is legal. Did I mention Alice Springs has a lotta systematic racism?

It's 5 hours from Uluru, but then you gotta deal with fucking tourists.

I love the Alice. But god do I fucken hate the Alice.

#blu whos #true blu

[rose-riot-johnson]

(Nsfw 94 tas Spidervenom) it’s just Eddie and Peter coming to terms about their “unfriendly violent” situation and ends up with them having an intercourses (btw Peter never had an experience with a man but has the thoughts about it,Eddie has it thanks to symby) and basically Peter “disappeared” for a whole weekend

I definitely will see what I can write with this request you sent me😁👍I definitely got occupied, so once I stopped getting occupied with what was going on during the weekend, I did complete the other request (which was unexpected) and I'm working on this request right now😁👍It may take me a while to complete this😅 I will see how it turns out😃👍

🕷️☣️Let's Set Aside Our Differences For Atleast This Weekend☣️🕷️((Peter Parker (aka Spiderman) x Eddie Brock (aka, Venom)(Both Adults))

Genres: Enemies To Lovers and Smut (Warning +18⚠️: Language, Anal Intercourse (Anal Penitration), Oral (both recieving), and anal fingering)

One Friday night, while Peter Parker (Spiderman) was patrolling the city to see if there's any crime going on, he ended up having to battle Eddie Brock (Venom) (who started the fight against Peter, due to the symbiont inside Eddie obviously) and the battle very unfriendly, violent, and definitely brutal. Unfortunately, when Peter thought he had the upper hand, Eddie somehow knocked him out. While it may seem like it was on purpose, on Eddie's part, it was never his intention to knock Peter out the way he did.

Throughout the years of his rivalry with Peter, it has always appeared that he despised Peter, however truth be told, Eddie always had a crush on Peter, which is why Eddie was always antagonisting Peter. As for Peter, he did have feelings for Eddie, however he repressed those feelings he had for him, because of every horrible thing he has done to Peter and the fact he is a hero and Eddie who is Venom is his enemy at the very least. Venom then said, "C'mon Eddie! We got what we came for! Take your boyfriend Peter to your place and have fun with him!". Eddie was shocked about to hear those words come out of Venom's mouth, as he replied, "He's not my boyfriend! I thought we just got over this! You fucking around with me like this, is probably the only issue with having the symbiont, I guess... So, can you please shut up about Peter already, for God sake, Venom!". "Yeah, yeah... That's what they all say, Eddie... Don't deny that you have your sexual urges to the point you want to do things with Peter... Tie Peter up and take him home for this weekend... It's the right thing to do, Eddie...".

Eddie used a rope to tie Peter's wrists together. Before Eddie finished tying Peter's ankles together, Peter was no longer unconscious. Peter's heart was racing as he was starting to fear, if Eddie was finally going to end Peter's life. He just doesn't know Eddie's true intentions for tying Peter's ankles together and his wrists together.

Once Eddie notices Peter came back to his consciousness he said, "Oh... You're finally awake, Peter... I decided I'm going to bring you to my place for the weekend...". Peter spat, "What the hell for?! Haven't been trying to kill me this whole fucken, time?! We're sworn enemies, damn it! I can't be spending any time at your fucken, place!". While Eddie tried to keep his cool, he replied, "If a villain can visit a hero's home or a vigilante's home just to frighten them if memories or some fucken shit, I can certainly damn well take you to my fucken place, so we can be intimate together, honey...". Peter angrily replied back, "Fuck off! Don't call me honey, fuck head?! I'm not falling for your tricks, you bastard! Have you forgotten we're sworn enemies?!".

Eddie started to get fed up with Peter, as Eddie yelled, "Can you fucken, set aside our fucken differences for atleast one fucken weekend?! I may appear damn well hateful towards you, however the fucken, truth is that I've been in fucken, in love with you for a damn long time! And don't you dare fucken lie and say that you never had any fucken feelings for me, because I have known for a long time that you damn well are in love with me, too! And I don't give a fuck, if you fucken like it or not, Peter! You're spending this whole fucken weekend with me and we're gonna make out after we get inside of my home!", before picking up Peter, as Eddie carries Peter on his shoulders. On the way home the both of them have been really cursing at eachother (More Peter cursing at Eddie). After Eddie carried Peter inside his place, Eddie took Peter to his room and tossed him on his bed, as he said, "Since I took you to my place, we will have some fucken intimate time together!", ripping Peter's Spiderman suit off of Peter, before Eddie started to notice Peter's hard dick.

The next thing Eddie did was teasingly touched his balls, then slightly played with Peter's cock, as Eddie teased, "So, this is what you're hiding from me... Don't worry, Peter... I'm going to take good care of you...", before Eddie immediately started to suck on his cock, as he had Peter's cock in his throat right after he started to suck on his cock, as he notices that Peter's getting his enjoyment out of Eddie overstimulating him, as Peter moaned, "Fuck, Eddie... It's too much... Why must you torture me this way...". Eddie stopped sucking on his cock, took his cock out, as he then replied, "Too much, huh... I guess I will feed you my cock then...", as he started to shove his cock inside Peter's throat. While Eddie continue to keep shoving his dick down Peter's throat, Venom then said to Eddie, "That's it, Eddie! Don't resist your urges! Just take your urges out on Peter! Good boy!", as the symbiont inside Eddie is also taking over him.

Once Eddie finishes shoving his cock down Peter's throat, Eddie and Peter locked lips together. After they both finished kissing eachother, Eddie then said, "I can tell you're inexperienced with sex, so let me teach you, Peter...", before he turns Peter over, to see that his hole looks tight. Eddie then prepped Peter up, as Eddie drooled on his own fingers before he used the fingers he drooled on, to play with the outside of his asshole, then fingered the inside of his hole, as well.

Once Eddie finishes prepping Peter, Eddie inserts his cock inside Peter's hole and started thrusting himself inside Peter's hole. A few minutes went by, as Peter's moans came out of his mouth as he enjoyed his first time, while Eddie also has been groaning due to his enjoyment out of fucking Peter.

After Eddie emptied himself inside Peter, he took his cock out of Peter's hole, as he letted him lay down and rest, while Eddie unties Peter. After he finishes untying Peter, Eddie then cooed, "Did you enjoy our time this weekend so far, Peter?", as he pets Peter's head. Peter then replied, "Ofcourse I did, Eddie... You were right about me, about what you said and this whole situation... Seriously... I'm glad you tied me up and took me to your place for this weekend... If you didn't tie me up and take me over to your place for any intimate time, who knows when we would have a beginning of our relationship together...". "I'm glad I did too, Peter... And I hope we will have more adventures in the bedroom like this...", Eddie replied back before kissing Peter on his forehead, as Eddie then began to snuggle with Peter for probably the rest of their weekend together.

🕷️☣️The End☣️🕷️

Okay my Tumblr Peeps, I hope you enjoyed this "spidervenom" fanfic☣️🕷️😃👍As for you @zoeloveconvers99 I hope you enjoyed it and the fanfic went well😁👍I really tried being creative with the fanfic and I do promise the enemies to lovers genre is a last minute thing I worked on for this fanfic😅

#rose riot writings #rose riot johnson #fanfic written by rose riot johnson #request answered by rose riot johnson #rose riot answers #spidervenom #spidervenom smut #peter x eddie #petet parker x eddie brock

[baharv89]

(Image description) a screenshot of the notes app in my phone on a note titled “Tumblr posts burned into my brain”. The entries are:

Spiders georg

It fucken WIMDY

It’s free real estate

you cannot kill me in a way that matters

To become god is the loneliest achievement of them all

None pizza with left beef

Harold they’re lesbians

210 slutty, slutty years

They very much did kill jesus

He boot too big for he got dam feet

Moon moon

GIRLS / it’s okay take your time

Hear it hurgling

That cat is higher than mt everest

I have drawn him, the high geologist

I eat the bees. Crunchy

The claw strikes

Then perish

Jail for mother 1000 years

Pull the trigger piglet

Eggs over nightmare

Not to be a lesbian but

(End image description)

[wonderwomanfantasy]

Game-changing bet

hello, I'm not dead I decided to do a Kuroo one I hope you enjoy it despite the wait.

Kuroo x Reader

warnings: smut, pwp, Daddy kink/ slight age play, mentions of porn, mentions of sex toys, friends with benefits,

word count: 1,600 (About)

Summary: a simple sounding bet leads to having sex with your good friend Tetsuro

You walked into the library stiffly. You’d managed to make it through most of your day without anyone calling you out, but this would be the real test. 

Kuroo’s eyes flicked up to meet you as soon as you got close and a warm smile spread across his lips. 

“Hey,” you greeted casually taking your seat across from him. 

“Hey, what’s up with you you’re walking like you have a pole up your ass,” 

You sighed. Leave it to Kuroo to see right through you when you didn’t want anyone to notice you. 

“It’s embarrassing,” you sighed. His grin only widened, 

“Then be quiet so no one will hear,” he said, eyes bright. 

“So I have this tradition,” you started “Every semester before finals week I buy myself something special to help me relax.”

“Like a video game?” he asked. You felt your face get hot and you squirmed in your seat. 

“No like, uhm more like a toy to help me really relax,” he burst out laughing much too loud for the quiet library.  You lunged across the table and slammed your hands over his mouth to shut him up. 

“I swear to god Tetsurou I’ll kill you,” you hissed and he tried his best to quiet himself. 

“I’m sorry continue, so you buy yourself a new sex toy as a reward for passing your classes,” he said, trying not to laugh again. 

“Basically,” you admitted sheepishly. “So I bought myself something last week and I can’t use it,”

“What like it’s broken?”

“No,”

“Do you not like it as much as you thought you would,”

“No, I didn’t get to try it, not really, it’s too big,” you hid your face in your hands,

“It doesn’t even fit inside of me and I kind of hurt myself trying last night, that’s why I’m walking funny,” you admitted finally, humiliated. The worst part is, it wasn’t even that big you’d seen people take much, much more, and even though what you were getting was pretty reasonable considering what else was for sale. 

“We’re you like, stretched outright?” Kuroo asked. 

“Apparently not, I mean I used lube I was uhm in the right headspace so to speak, But like I couldn’t even get the tip in this thing was huge,” you defended, then mimed the approximate size of the dildo.  

“I bet I could have made it fit,” he said. You raised an eyebrow at him 

“I didn’t think you were into taking Kuro-”

“Shut up you brat I meant I could have made it fit in you,” he snapped back. You scoffed

“Oh excuse me, I forgot you lost your virginity two years ago and now you’re a walking sex god my bad, go on tell me how to fuck my own pussy,” you snapped. 

“Easy princess don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m just saying that thing cost you what 80 bucks? You can’t just let that go to waste,”

“50,” you corrected with a sniff, but he had a point that was still fifty dollars of Oragasums you needed to get out of this too big thing, and Kuroo was the kind of friend who could help you with this and it wouldn’t change the relationship between the two of you. 

“If you hurt me I’ll break your neck,” 

“Deal,” he said instantly a light shining in his eyes. 

“And If you can���t make it fit you buy me dinner for wasting my time,” you said, 

“Anything you want,” he agreed, he was way too excited to go along with this. 

You were sitting between Kuroo’s legs naked. His big hands ran over your body slowly, raising goosebumps along your skin. 

“This thing is fucken huge I thought you were just being a baby,” he laughed, 

“You’re just mad it’s bigger than yours,” you snapped back you could feel him pressed against your back he was hard, and you wondered if he’d get off just by touching you. 

“What do you do, to start? How do you turn yourself on?” he asked, his large hands resting on your thighs. 

“I don’t know just watch porn I guess,” you admitted. He hummed thoughtfully. 

“What kind of porn?” 

“I don’t know,” you took a deep breath, It was just Kuroo you could be real with him, and he’d respect you he would keep your secrets and he wouldn’t make fun of you. 

“I like ASMR stuff, just a lot of moaning, and dirty talk,” you told him. Kuroo hummed behind you like he was thinking of what to do next. 

“I can do that I think, You just want me to tell you how pretty you look, spread out for me like this?” His voice was lower than it normally was and you felt its effect down to your toes. 

“Yes,” you said, breathily, you wished he’d just get on with it and touch you.  Suddenly he let out a low moan that made you jolt, you felt like you would have jumped out of your skin if Kuroo hadn’t been there to hold you down. 

He laughed a little, “I’m so fucking lucky to see you like this, I’m almost scared to touch you, I think the second I sink my fingers in that pretty cunt I might cum,” he said. Finally, he reached to the Apex of your legs and ran his thick fingers over your folds spreading your wetness over your clit. 

“Do you like that kitten? You like Daddy playing with your clit?” he asked and you felt your cheeks burn. 

“Y-yes D-Daddy,” you whimpered making Kuroo laugh, you wondered how he knew that you liked that or if he was doing it for him. Either way, he was getting you off. 

“Is this how you play with your private parts baby? Is this how you touch yourself when Daddy isn’t there?” he was teasing you now, circling your entrance with his middle finger, only pushing into you when you caught him off guard and pitched your hips forward 

“Naughty girl,” Kuroo laughed as he slowly pumped his finger in and out of you, twisting his wrist in you.  “How should Daddy punish you for being such a bad slut?” he asked Kuroo dipped his head and started kissing your neck before surprising you by sinking his teeth into your neck. 

“Now, whenever someone asks where you got that mark you have to look them in the eye and tell them that there aren’t any classes on how to fuck yourself so you had to get your friend to show you how to use your cunt,” he said against your ear. He slipped another finger inside of you, scissoring you open and fucking you with his thick fingers. 

“Daddy-” you moaned bucking your hips down against his hand again, this time he let you without punishment unless you counted more neck kisses as a punishment. You could feel his cock hard against your back rutting against your ass. 

Kuroo had three fingers in you now, you’d never felt so full before, 

“Kuroo, I need you,” you whimpered you were going to cum if he kept touching you like this. The Dildo he was supposed to be fucking you with was long forgotten at the other end of the bed. 

Kuroo pulled his finger out of you and flipped you around pressing your back to the mattress. He loomed over you caging you in with his larger frame. 

“Fuck baby look at you,” he sighed, “All fucked out just from Daddy’s fingers,” he moaned shoving his jeans down his legs. You almost whimpered when he pulled his cock out. You watched as he pumped himself in his fist and pulled one of your legs up over his shoulder. 

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes- please Daddy,” you pleaded, Kuroo didn’t make you wait, he dipped his head to kiss you as he slid in. you couldn’t help but mona as you felt him fill you up. 

“Fuck baby even with all that prep work, you’re so tight,” he purred against your neck. “I’m going to move now is that okay?” 

“Yes-”

 Kuroo tried to be gentle at first, but how you were sucking him in and milking his cock made it hard to hold back. 

“There's my good girl,” he grunted his thrusts getting sloppy, Kuro was having a hard time focusing on two things at once, thrusting his hips at a steady pace and rubbing your clit,

“Fuck baby, are you close? Are you going to cum?” Kuroo asked, desperately, he was close to his own release but he was determined to get you off first. 

“Daddy, I’m so fucking close please keep fucking me,” you pleaded, throwing your head back and arching your body up against him. 

Kuroo could do that at the very least. He hooked one hand under your hip and lifted you up so he can fuck you deeper, 

Kuroo watched your eyes roll back into your head as you came around him, the feeling of your orgasm was enough to push him over the edge, and the two of you came together. 

Kuroo held you close as you both heaved, catching your breath and coming down from your respective highs. 

“That was so fucking good,” he sighed, nuzzling the side of your neck. 

“You owe me dinner,” you sighed,

“What?” he asked, you grinned and nodded towards the toy 

“Didn’t make it fit, you owe me dinner,” Kuroo found that he could live with that.

#kuroo x reader smut #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x reader #fem reader #haikyuu!!

[bubblyqueer000]

APRIL FOOLS JOKE POST Mondo Owada x Me PART 3!! THE FUCKENING :0

soz I haven't been posting. I'll make an update soon C:

still tho gotta do my yearly april fools day post!!

FUCKING SHIT WIENER COCK DOODLE!! HEY DICK NOSES IT’S BUBZ CHAN AND IM MAD. RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDFNNJHBNJHBGBHNJHBGVHNHBVGBNBHHB

Okay so like last year that little cock weasel, monocumstain killed my boyfriend, mondo because he was mad he commited a hate crime and fucked me on the tables in the cafeteria, coating them in his dick cheese in the process. UGGGGHH

BUT ACTUALLY I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS REALLY PUNISHED BECAUSE I WAS THE ONE TASKED WITH SCRAPING HIS SMEGMA OFF OF EVERY SURFACE OF THE SCHOOL!!!! >:C

I was in the midst of using a metal spatula to scrape off his dried up mondo butter from under the tables when I felt a horrible pain filling my chest.

“Ow tf” I sayed

“Shut the fuck up” said Kyoto

“No you cunt, my stomach really hurts.”

“Well no shit we’re all like a million years old now and during that whole time mondo was fuckin destroying your organs.” Said toastermi

“…

…

Shit u right.” And then I felt another horrible fucking pain in my tummy!!! “AHHHHHHFHDNDNBDNDJDNDND NO YOU BITCHES IDK WHATS HAPPENING”

“maybe u need a nap c: “ Nina told me

“YOU DONUT SUCKING FUCK WAD HELP ME.” 

“DON’T WORRY YALL I GOT THIS!” Said sakura, kicking me as hard as she could in the stomach making my organs squirt out of my ass with a loud shlorp. 

“OH SHIT IN THE SINK GET HER TO THE SINK!” Shouted byakuya bc he thought it was my period and he was scared of periods and stuf. 

So yea soccer ball carried me over her shoulder into the kitchen and plopped me in the sink where I screamed and farted loudly lmfao. I really hope that no one actually gets turned on by this dear fucking god. 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” idk how birth works soz. 

So yeah I shitted out a bb. 

“What the fuck” Said everyone collectively. 

“Goo goo ga ga 😀” He goo goo ga gad

“HOW THE SHIT DID THIS HAPPEN?” 

“Because you had tons of unprotected sex with mondo.”

“Oh yeah ur right. Alright well… Idk ummm ill name u mondo after ur dad ig.”

“otay” he said bc that’s how babies talk according to fan fic writers wtf is wrong with you people??

“Acutually you can;t lol” said byakuya smartily. “Bc if u did that everytime you called him that hed think of how u fucked his dad or some shit.”

“Byakuya what the actual fuck. I don’t think you understand the absurdity of what you just said. Not only is that sexualizing my infant son, but it’s also an incredibly perverse interpretation of a healthy relationship based on love and respect, and now that he’s passed us on, it’s all the more insensitive.” I told him and everyone started clapping. I looked at the fuckin kid and thought and thought. “Wait wat was mondo’s brother’s name again?”

“Diarrhea.” Sayd makoto.

“LMAOOOOO k ur names diarrhea.” i told the child. 

“K lol.” he said. 

“Ermmm… ERRRRMM…. ERRRMEN AOT…… ERMINEM SLIM SHABBY SLIM ANUS….. ERRRRM…” byakuya erms.

“WHAT WANT BUTT FART???” I sowed   

“well everyone knows that babies need a mommy and daddy or else thre brains wont work. so im volunteering to be ur rich and morty. fuck wait no. rich baby daddy” he explammmed rickbabydaddily 

“??? Tf no!! richie bitches suck” and then I rapped the entirety of piggy pie by icp for everyone but it was a parody that fit the situation like that one mlp web series we all watched as kids that had the parody wreck it ralph op and there was also fuckin evelyn evelyn and confrontation from jekly and hyde parodies ummmm… hold on let me google it. PRINCESS TRIXIE SPARKLE BY MAGPIE PONY.

so I took a break from writing this and taking care of my bastard son to re watch that series and then the first four seasons of mlp and then like all of rainbow dash presents fuck i miss the early days of mlp lmao    

So anyways after that I came out of my room and Daiya II was like a teenager because I was watching mlp content for like fifteen years. 

“Hewwo mwommy” he said 

“Ew why do you still talk like that? Get that shit out of here.”

“Jeez you’re such a bitch.” He told me.

“:0??? >:0! Go to ur room you little shit!” 

“NO mom! >:0! YOU go to YOUR room!”

“Wait what.” and then my own son stabbed me. “Ow bitch u stabbed me in the tit.” 

“Yea but it’s dedly bc ur like 47893845748398.”

“...”

“...”

“SHIT” so yeah I fuckin died. 

“You… cunt.” I said and stoped living. 

When I woke up I was in hell. And who else was there???

Ur MOM! (sorry if ur mom is actually ded or somethin rip)

BUT ALSO MONDO AND DAIYA OWADA (the first one not my son)???? :0

“Hey cootie ;0” said doodie owada

“MONDO!” I cried running over to him.

“Am I a joke to you?” Daiya asked bc i ignored his dumb ass

“Wassup bbygrl C:” Mondo asked. 

“I missed you so much.” I told him. 

“Awww”

…

…

…

…

… 

“Kay let’s fuck already.” 

“K.” 

Our clothes all burned off bc my homophobic relatives tell me that I hell is hot. Then they bent me over. I suckked daiyas dick and took mondos in my ass. 

“Glucglucglucglucglucgluc” i said suckn dick. 

“Coom” and then I fake my organism. 

Soooo yeah were done and were just chillin wit angel hazbin hotel bc it’s hell. BUT IT TURNED OUT THAT DAIYA II WAS THERE BC HE WAS EXECUTED LMFAO

Anyways happy april fools day seeya next year :3

#crosspost #danganronpa #fanfic #trigger happy havoc #ao3 #danganronpa x reader #anime #mondo oowada x reader #mondo owada x reader #archive of our own #mondo owada #mondo x reader #mondo butter #fanfiction

[clockwork-reads]

Brief Book Reviews #8

It's been a hot minute and I'm sorry. IRL stuff happened for most of the year and I've only just gotten back to reading again- I'm glad I have, though.

#1: Laura Thalassa, Pestilence (The Four Horsemen, Book 1)

Dark romance with a Horseman of the Apocalypse. It's about as fucked up as it sounds, and I love it.

The story sets the scene for post-apocalyptic Earth: the Horsemen rode out in all four directions some years before the story begins, and with their arrival, all electronics stopped working, save for the lucky few who had backup generators I guess. Then, five years after they vanish, Pestilence shows up, riding across North America to spread a plague. Our protagonist and narrator, Sara Burns, is the unlucky firefighter who tries to shoot him off his horse- she succeeded, for a bit, but sadly this Horseman is immortal and she becomes his prisoner. It's a slow burn, Stockholm syndrome, enemies-to-lovers kind of deal, and god dammit, I love it. There's a few sex scenes and graphic depictions of the dying (including children), so, heads up if you're thinking of getting this book.

...and I might want to play Darksiders again because of this lol.

#2, S.A. Chakraborty, City of Brass

...Well that was a rollercoaster from start to fucking finish. And there's two more books in this series. Holy shit.

I love the world building and political intrigue, and above all, I love how down to earth Nahri is. The bond between her and Dara is believable (and heartbreaking, in later chapters). Ali, though- poor kid can't catch a break. I kinda wish he'd grow a spine, but I don't blame him- his father's a right bastard, honestly. I hope the Qahtanis get found out before the series is over, and that they get what they deserve. I honestly can't say too much without spoiling anything, but as awful as Nahri's situation is, I am left hiking up my standards again after Dara being very ready to kill anything and everything for her. *sigh.*

#3: Tamsyn Muir, Gideon the Ninth (The Locked Tomb trilogy, Book 1)

This book was a fucken trip- and I had a couple of friends get very excited over me reading it. I can understand why, this was a fun read. Like a mix of dark fantasy meets Dead Space. Muir's done a good job of it. Sure, "Lesbian Necromancers IN SPAAAAAAAACE" is a good way to market it, but damn. The murder mystery was a nice touch. Gideon being a disaster lesbian is funny, and I kept hearing Taliesin Jaffe as Percy de Rolo whenever Palamedes showed up. Palamedes my beloved. Dulcinea didn't deserve you. ;_;

Tiktok was enlightening when it came to this series, too- apparently the author pulled the whole thing from their own Homestuck fanfic, and the parallels are very obvious. Then again, I'm still Homestuck'd after all these years, I don't have a leg to stand on here. Gideon is quite obviously Dave, Harrow is obviously supposed to be Karkat, and you can tell if you've been in sharpie bath hell for several years. It's done quite well, though. Can't wait to read the next one. Not sure what I'm gonna read in the meantime, though...

#bookblr #brief book reviews #tbrbusterchallenge2023

[vespersbelladonnakiss]

Asking about Vesper

HOLY SHIT OKAY OKAY WE’VE BEEN PREPARING FOR THIS MOMENT GUYS

idk what you wanna know exactly but general thing, they’re a stupid little thief who annoys a lot of people. they were born on a day. their parents were cringe but they had a sister named vee who they basically raised. when they were 16 they ran away to build a life away from their shitty parenrs for them and vee. they came back for vee and she died :((( this is very sad because she is actually a blorbo of time. (technically vesper never found the body but years past and they could never find her so they assumed dead) anywyad flash forward to 20 year old vesper. they recieve a job offer from yhis powerful rich magic lady. she wants them, and four others, to investigate some murders of magic users and this is where the campaign began (they are from a d&d game i realise i neglected to mention this)

this shithead went from silly goofy fucker to traumatised as shit real fucken fast, and this does not include backstory stuff, though it was a tad influenced by that. after causing the death of the dm’s npc he sent to make sure we dont fuck up because they wanted to (reads notes scrawled on the palm of my hand) impress the party who had seen them as only this thief bastard who can never do anything tood becayse they’re a thief, they continued an almosy forgotten hobby of theirs where they blame themself for everythint bad that happens around them. and some times, its even justified!

they proceeded to find the hilt of the long dead goddess of justice and began hearing her voice in their head. she was nice and tyen she started asking vesper to do stuff for her, which they thought they would be able to do on their own because they qanted to impress her. but unfortunately, they could not figure oit what the fuck she meant because shes a cryptic bitch and i hadnt yet started taking notes so she was like “vesper, tell these other buffoons what i just told u” and they were like “nonono gimme a sec i can figure this out” and then she 1d10 psychic damage. after freeing her from her prison within the god of murder’s sword and watching her kill said god, the rest of the group decided to. betray her. with amazing timing, as you can see. vesper, however, did not, and spied on the party for her.

not only did this sneaky little rat bastard spy though, they also caused (sparkles) general discord (sparkles) and may have convinced the party that one of its members was going insane. which they later found out was true. vesper, despite their continued alegance to evil justice girlboss- i mean very nice lady, tried to convince another party member, who had been communicating with the dead murder god, to not go down the same path they did, and did go to. lengths. to try to stop this.

one of the things they did however resulted in their stupid ass reviving evil murder god asshole. though they were commanded not to kill the party, edgy mc my chemical romance WAS permitted to torture the group. while they did this, they killed the bard’s mom and cut off embodied teenage angst (the one who was communicating with murder bitch)’s arm off. god of murder and child soldiers gave vesper some torture that was very enjoyable for me by: breaking their fingers, to stop them from stealing; cutting out their tongue, to stop them from lying; telling one of previously mentioned child soldiers to kill their GUESS WHAT alive sister, wowie who coulda guessed, and serve her head to vesper on a silver platter. greatest breaker of the geneva convention and hater of all also decided to mention to the group what vesper had done for american justice syst- i mean, very nice justice lady, causing three out of four party members to turn against them. vesper also recieved a message from the goddess of justice saying that they had FUCKED UP!!! and weren’t considered by her one of her followers anymore. BUT butbutbutbut she also said if vesper um remained loyal then she would reward them so obviously it’s worth it yeah :)

after being healed by the resident soundcloud rapper with cleric spells she somehow managed to get (i know how, but this isnt fucking about her is it), vesper was (more sparkles) fucked up mentally! sparkle sparkle end sparkle. we got sent by shadow in a girlboss’s body to go help out a vampire lady in overthrowing her mom, which is fine cuz we fucking hate her mom! vesper tried to drown their sorrows in alcohol (more sparkles) but was stopped by youtube cover artist, who insisted that learning an instrument would be better than alcoholism. also the party members who hate them like stole the alcohol and shit and wouldnt give any to vesper. so vesper decided to take her up on her offer

and that’s what’s happened so far. very shortened. and missing my character analysis essays. i realised i wasnt using any characters’ names at one point and just decided to roll with that i hope it’s still readsble

also funny vesper fact: i stole their name from a nonbinary name website BUT i think the othrr meanings apply just a little as a treat. first off!!! vesper comes from latin and means evening, which is perfect for this sneaky little rat. the other thing is the meaning of vesper that is evening prayers for catholics i think. they literally got religious trauma’d by a bitch goddess of justice and are like so fucked uoa bout it.

#sorry i said short i lied #it was originally honna be short then i like #blacked out #now we’re here #vesper

[moregraceful]

hockeyblr ask game

tagged by the illustrious @kitnita thank you my friend ✨

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

I have told this story many times and I will tell it again because I think it is so funny and perfectly demonstrates how I can be convinced of literally anything if I have a good time. when there was the great bandom collapse and all my bandom friends turned to hockey I said fuck hockey I will never be a fan of hockey what the fuck is an edmonton oiler. and joined Twin Peaks fandom like any normal 20 year old college student in the year 2009 would. EIGHT YEARS LATER, my dear friend got into the pens and said pls pls pls get into pens hockey rpf with me the fic is so good. and I said NO. FUCK sidney crosby (did not know who sidney crosby is). 1 year later this same dear friend said pls pls pls come to this Sharks-Pens game with me, no one else will go with me bc tickets are $90 and i gotta see my man evgeni malkin, pleaseeee. and I said you want me to pay 90 american dollars for HOCKEY???? and she said yes and I will buy you a beer. I said okay FINE.

went. experienced several emotions I had never felt before. experienced several old emotions I had not felt in a long time. experience a few emotions that didn't exist. experienced emotions only shrimp feel. Pens lost but this was in 2018 so the Sharks were still pretty good and it was a genuinely skilled game of hockey in a packed arena. I was enthralled. the game was so exciting and so fun to watch. Evgeni Malkin's legs were so long. Tomáš Hertl's ass was so big. I don't even think I finished my beer I was so into it.

"haha heyyyy," I said as we walked out of SAP center. "you uh got any recs for these pens guys?" "oh boy DO I EVER!!" she said. and it was all over.

(hilariously I swore I would never be a fan of the Sharks but my terminal Bay Area brain disease took over and I fell eventually bc I always fall for the home team in the end. also bc for a long time my schedule was 9-6 or 12-9 in a library with an open plan office with an hour commute on both ends and I really cared about how people perceived my work ethic for a while, so I would just never watch or listen to games at work. by the time I quit I would watch full Avalanche games on my night shifts though dw lol.)

2. Your first ever fandom friend

trying to think of who I was friends with on hockeyblr first that wasn't someone I knew from livejournal or someone I met through someone I knew on livejournal lmfao. it took me like 10 years to figure out how to make friends with people on tumblr lol. I have no idea

3. The jersey you would most like to own

historically I have never denied myself the pleasure of owning anything however I did get in a bidding war for a Jared McCann HIFE jersey when he was on the Pens -- had to stop bidding when the jackass I was up against went over $1k bc I just could not justify spending $1k on a jersey. on the bright side this means someone paid one thousand american dollars for a jared mccann pens pride jersey lol

I wanted a Matt Murray HIFE jersey another year too but the bidding went from $500 to $1.5k in like two hours and I was like oh ok. and gave up on ever owning a pens HIFE jersey

I assume if the Cuda have a pride jersey this year I do something reckless this year lol. fingers crossed no one fucken sits so I have options

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

Cale Makar..... (didn't he try to kill jared mccann a man you just said you were willing to pay nearly $1000 for his jersey - yes and he felt bad about it. it's a violent sport who cares). I hope I am able to watch an Avs game again someday :')

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

ROOPE/ROBO HIVE RISE. also jason robertson/nick suzuki. i mean Jason Robertson in general, supremely underutilized considering how bananas hot he is

6. Your favourite on-ice moment

god have I ever actually seen anything good happen on ice, ever. oh!! When Garnet Hathaway scored a goal against the Sharks and fell over and he was just punching the air and Nic Dowd started pummeling him bc he was so excited for Garny

also Pat Sieloff pride night gwg. he said I won't do pride tape but I'll end an ot on Pride night with my only goal of the season. He did that for me.

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

pls read @kitnita's robotter primer it is literally a masterclass in ship primers. we need more ship primers like zoe's primers. i dream every day of writing a primer as masterful as zoe's robotter primer. (also her robotterpetey primer was SOOOO good and then my stupid ass gm stole petey and now he has to pay income tax. sorry to the state of texas for my gm's crimes.)

@tofumilanesa's strauss mann eating disorder fic featuring jasper weatherby that i think about every week, then i sit on the floor and yell and yell and yell

and bc i was hooting and hollering about it earlier today, the original dick trick by mcspot is one of my all time favorite fics - joe thornton/patrick marleau where patty is aspec. i read it like every six months and experience shrimp emotions. it is by no means an unknown fic but it does star the sharks so obvi not getting as much attention as it SHOULD

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

😐

I started writing this post in the grocery store check out line and then the check out guy was like if you donate money to Second Harvest food bank I'll do a voice impression. I was like what??? and he was like yeah for real :) and pointed a piece of paper with several character voices. so I donated $10 and got Charmander and Jar-Jar Binks and it was very impressive voice acting but it's been two hours and I'm at home now and I'm still so harrowed that I donated $10 just to hear Jar Jar Binks comment on the amount of kombucha I was buying

Listen to Get A Read On Me while doing the dishes and tell Beryl what a great job they did!!!!

#fresno oilers.txt

[athena-nation]

walk-through

Aziraphale slowly traces their finger along the ledge of the mantle. Photos of holidays past with what would be considered friends and family reach along, nearly teetering, its entire length. They come to a photo in particular and stop.

“I married.” Crowley points with his wine hand, “And that's our son.”.

Their shoulders slack a bit and Crowley, without fear of being too close now, reaches his right arm over Aziraphale’s shoulder, plucks up the photo, and brings it around so they can look at it together.

And they look at it together

Crowley points out “This is my wife, Sarah. This is my son, Eli. My father-in-law, my mother-in-law, and …” a few other people with hyphens and descriptors but the words trail off in Aziraphale’s ears, their interior self starting to take on blighted emotions.

Crowley walks a long look from the photo to his former love’s face.

“What was I going to do? I gave up everything.” He inhales, then elongates an exhale. “I love my kid. He, he's a fucken Giant! He's so gentle, though. I call him my we bull Ferdinand.” He places the photo back on the mantle.

“He's Nephilim?”

Crowley nods.

“Erm, is that why the flood was so hard?”

“Didn't understand why it hurt so much until I became” he pats his weathered human hand on his chest “this. Then, crews of memories came and I saw myself after that. Your kind were killing the children of angels who what? Married and loved humans.” He moves towards the couch. “I walked among them, you know. Wishing I could have the same thing. A partner, a lover, a family of Nephilim children and mixed villages and beliefs and homes? What a blessed funny thing, to love and create love? Angels, humans, Nephilim, Elioud.” 

He pauses to look at the mantle full of human relatives now.

“Then, they were found. They were a scourge to-”

“The Plan.” Aziraphale whispers.

“The great. fucking. ineffable plan.”

++++++++++++

They are now both sitting on the couch, Crowley to the right of the angel.

“I asked Hell to take everything including the throne that waited for me. Take my flight. Take my immortality. Don’t take my eyes, I loved them - so, of course, they did. But, I think they sort of felt bad because they gave me these eyes almost the same color. Which, which is yet another thing Eli did not inherit. He has no Angelic properties. Thank G-...."

He stops.

"I had to lose everything Angelic about me to get my memories back and now there are millions and millions of years of them that it hurts too much, my head is too small and the memories too big. Worst of the worst part? I didn’t realize there was a point that there was no more joy.”

“No more…joy? When?” Aziraphale quietly asked.

“I understand better now what happened.” Crowly skips over the too-hard-to-admit question. “Why they cast us out…”. His hurt makes a small place in his voice, “The audacity to think we could even share a little attention towards something so beautiful to us it outshone the sun? Brighter than God? How dare Her spotlight move an inch away from Her. A Seraphim who could fall In Love, no. That would not do. But, I couldn’t help it.

“I had already fallen in love with you.”

Aziraphale jolts, inhaling guilt hot and old. It awakens and spreads like a smoldering field under a forest fire floor. It was a new sensation. It was an unrealized shame.

“You fell. Because of me?” he asks.

Crowly nods. “And that, that is also why they bullied you. Why they called you soft, Azazel, scapegoat, weak.” In a teasing voice, he recollects, “Haha an angel fell for you and then he fell from heaven! Haha, you gonna start questioning the war against heaven. nyah nyah you’re crying because you’re becoming human.”

The replay of those schoolyard cruelties does bump up against a repression or ten.

++++++++++++

“I met Sarah 4 years after my wings were taken back. I was always sick after that happened and had these intense rolling fevers under my skin all the time. I didn’t know it was a human thing happening. So, I had to see a human doctor. After I came out of it, I…and she…” and trails off still feeling the burning in his arms. “...has a conference this week and will visit our boy at university.” He sounds lonely. “She’s back Sunday.” he sniffs, picks up his wine and finishes it.

“Eli is a good kid. BIG and yet quiet and beautiful and a painter and a footballer. Children are amazing things - he can be anything he wants. But best of all - he's not an angel. Not a single angelic power except when he looks at me. Oooch that crushes me.” Crowley says as he smiles thinking about that very feeling. I know he loves me and he tells me nearly every day. Twenty-four! And still tells his father he loves him. I think that's what I was looking for. All my heavenly creations and to never have any of them say that they loved me…”

ah. Hurt.

Crowly catches what he said, but is somewhere between apologizing for what was a fauxpax and letting the old love just feel it.

Aziraphale tries to equalize the conversation.

“I don't know if we had anything that would be considered ‘love’. A lot of it was fear and questioning and warm things and watching you and feeling you watching me, but…I had never fallen for anything before and definitely not the way…”

“But, I did. Because of you. Two times.”

“no no, nonononono…so this is MY fault? That’s not very fair. It's… a resentment now.” Aziraphale is growing hot underneath and the sadness becomes confusing.

Crowly moves his head almost serpent-like conveying what we would think is maybe, maybe not.

They are both staring at untouched drinks, Crowley’s wine, Aziraphale’s tea.

That. That is true hurt.

“They made you watch. Do you remember that?” Aziraphale wide and wet-eyed shook his head meekly. He did not. Not today. Crowley sucks in his lips, bites, and nods his head, “All 200 of us.” he snaps his fingers. “Just like that. No trial, just decided. Some all at once, some one by bloody one.” He quirks his mouth, “I was a ‘special case’. Because I had a head full of questions and a… a …a heart full of Love. Love that was not directed at God. So, I was the last one to go.”

Aziraphale looks away.

Crowley softens his speech.

“Maybe I should have said something sooner. Maybe, but I didn't and I would replay those days in the bookshop over and over in my head to try to get my mind around them and I couldn't and I know that I didn't want to know any of it anymore. One night I woke up soaked in tears - and all of a sudden I felt I was treading water and that THIS was the Karma of Eve. THIS is what I get for tempting her to bite the apple and now we alllll get to have Knowledge and that's pretty ba–. No, it isn’t bad. It’s a shame, really, cuz I thought,”

He puts his glass down and waits out the anger.

“I thought it was going to be a good thing, maybe even an ineffable thing of my own.”

+++++++++++

“Aziraphale, I broke."

It's cold. I wish I wore a thicker swear.

“It’s really hard to forgive you because you watched it happen and then didn't remember and then they punished you and punished you and punished you and you and we would have been a perfect foil to their hatred together, I guess. I don't know.

“You chose Heaven over us, for us.

“And I chose Earth over y-….” He pauses. “Let me correct that - I chose Earth, for me.

“Becoming mortal was not in anger towards you. It was time and I've never been consistently happier. I morbidly want to say thank you because I have this thing in my life now, but I'm not going to. I don't have a preternatural disposition for forgiveness. I can accept what happened and that’s it. And like every human should, I have a therapist and we just treat it all like a big traumatic brain injury. That seems to be the best way for me to get my head around what happened. Beginning of time to now. Like all of it was a dream. I was in a million-year coma. In a blackout.”

Blackout.

The visit has become humid. Aziraphale knows this has to happen.

+++++++++++

“Right,”

Crowley dusts off the top of his trousers, stands up, and puts his hand over to Aziraphale. They look up at him, put their hand in his, and get up from the couch. When standing, Crowley lets their hand go - it was merely to help. Aziraphale is numb.

“So, let me show you another thing…”

Crowley opens a set of French doors out into the garden. It’s dark out all around, but this is illuminated with tiny bulbs and solar lanterns in mason jars. They both nearly bump their heads on a few. “Wife.” Crowley smiles and hoists it up out of head-bumping reach.

It comes into view as they walk down a bit - a diminutive cottage Crowley steps over to, grabs the lock, and in two twists - opens it.

Aziraphale stifles weeping, slightly failing. Crowley had taken items from the bookshop and brought them here. The desk, the portfolios, notes, postcards, unread books and read ones.

It was a mini bookshop.

With only one chair.

Silence

“I…” Suddenly self-conscious, he tries again. “I weep myself to sleep, every night, right there.” He points to the chair, which bears evidence of a man whose face has folded many times into those arms and wept and slept and drank a little and wept and slept some more.

“Sarah knows she’ll never understand what happened. She’s never pried nor has tried to change my mind about keeping this” he moves his arm to wave it along the eyeline of the room, but drops it. He turns to Aziraphale. “She sees so many people at the hospital from veritable wars that she just accepted this habit of mine as…as a erm…traumatic brain injury. PTSD. An old coma’s ghosts.”

dead silence

“I've only recently begun to stop crying,” Crowley says, nodding, as he starts to. “and now you're fucking here, and for the first time in all our millennia together, seeing you here -

"I'm so fucking unhappy.”

Time stops, but in the human way.

“I can't bear to be near you. You're everything I ever needed and wanted and I couldn’t compete with God or the Second Coming that apparently NEVER happened.” He now gestures wide with his arms outstretched, one long fluid movement so intense and passionate it looks as if he never lost his wings.

“We….“ he bangs his chest, “weeeeeee all lived down here through whatever stupid thing you were all fighting over up there and maybe you fixed it and maybe nothing happened -

“but you didn't even throw a feather from the sky to let me know that there was some fucking kind of Peace going on.

”That you missed me.

“or you were just a little sorry.”

He is heaving and trying to hold onto any words without screaming. “Sure, it still rains fish in Texas and frogs in Croydon sometimes, there’s still some old mischievous magic from past events between us. but it does make me so so so fucking…….sad you. said. Nothing.”

silence is now an abyss

“You, too, then? Just like her? Not even one. fucking. Sign.”

Crowley drops his arms and all the energy he had brewing all evening, if not all the last 28 years, sinks out from him and into the ground cover.

“Aziraphale?”

so, … this is death

“Yes, Crowley.”

“Please leave.”

+++++++++++

The Angel is standing outside of the house, their back to the door, waiting to hear the click of a lock before walking away. It doesn't rain in this section of England very much which is very strange. It's almost like one last small miracle is left to protect the home, his wife, his son.

His humanity.

Aziraphael walks back to the car. No shade of yellow, just plain grey. A rental he doesn't drive through Soho on his way home to the end of the world.

#ao3 fanfic #good omens #goodomensseason2 #neil gaiman #michael sheen #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #ineffablehusbands #goodomensprime

[suicideandcheese]

Working, Class, Nowheres

Think about where I come from, where I'm going. I'm still going. Somehow Spirits within, spirits without, killing Time and slaying dragons because I like the smoke. Shamans hum Bangers out of insanity, coherently. I see now, through fog, through pain. Acceptance is a game of loss, is more. Watch me smile, still. Last year I died. You look at your lovers and they look back Like you still got it, you always does, hope Being care, being hope, being what it is. A little life when they enslave life. Kiss some Fucken stars and call them your wife. Aligned, She is, she will. Empower you by the always. Manifested, someone to cry with. Undercovers, You share your worst, she sees your best. Since you've been mine, has anyone ever Fucked with you? It's this capacity for danger. No she says. And they never will. My shadow Torments me through hells I know how to channel. Goddamn, I know some depths you wanna tell Me how to navigate some idea of heaven? I got Gods to damn, gods I despise, gods I give a damn To urn through. Creator speaks, you feel resound. I can say: I feel nothing. I feel it all. God, you. Damn motherfucker, gets me in the blisses. I wanna leave this, but I wanna be better. She receives my kisses, I emit my only. I am what I play and they play me, so I Continue. Then hit Pause. I think of somewheres, Angels devising a plan to erase me With an euphoria only met through the devils. I can tell you demons how to kill myself. One day at a time. Drinks, or desires? Pills Make them fires. I am ablaze and alive And for how long. The monk goes on.

#poetry #poem #writing #free verse #poets on tumblr #words #spilled ink #angels #demons #original

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 43

NOOOOOO!!! No Taliesin? Not good ... no, but seriously, get well soon, mate!

The Glove? Dear gods ... feet? Even worse ... this ad is so bad even Sam's having trouble with THIS ONE ... Laura: "Oh shit!" Sam: "No, it's all right it's just acting!" I'm dead ...

Ashley: "What you don't understand is what you don't understand!"

Is Matt maybe a little overly enthusiastic with this plug? Do we care?

Liam: "Let's talk about comic books!" Bit high pitched there, boyo ...

Might be one of the most chaotic intros yet, this one.

Last Thursday Night on a Monday night of the year, it would seem. Here we go, then ...

So what's gonna happen? What was that bird thing? Is it Shithead? Is Letters' number finally up?

Laura, what did you just whisper to Ashley?

Does a 22 hit FCG? Of course it does! And it's a dookie bomb? Wait ... IT'S POISONOUS?!!!

Fearne is NOT actually naked Sam, pay attention to the art ...

Speak With Small Beasts? Hmmm, something tells me it won't work on THIS thing.

3 D10 and she only inflicts 4 points of damage ... that is a CLASSIC D&D moment right there.

Seedling! Yessssss! Sweet!

This is definitely NOT just a bird ...

Ice Knife? Okay ... whoa, and that DID IT?!!! Nice ... okay, guess it WAS just a bird.

Aaaaaaaaaaah! It lives again! Fuuuuuuuck!

IT'S UNDEAD!!! I fucken knew it!

Ewwwww, it's slimy? Bleurgh!

Matt: "It's an awkward creature." No shit!

So it's just belligerent? Fuck, this thing really IS a Shithead. Sam: "I don't know if it CAN be killed, but let's try!"

Oh wow, Laudna's unleashing Pate on it ... thus should be interesting. CAN Pate fly forever? OH YES!!! HEX THE FUCKER!!!

Laudna can now track it for 8 hours. Sam: "This is our day now?"

Pate seems vaguely heartbroken that it fled ... that's kind of tragic.

Genuine eternal torment! Evil! I think I love the idea that THIS THING is FCG's ultimate nemesis. XD This is a perfect foil for Sam.

Chetney: "Did you steal its lover?" You what?

Matt: "No it's not big enough to carry of Ashton." Oh, are they actually making this a thing or is Matt just taking the piss?

Fearne: "Accepting the darkness is actually kind of fun."

Gingerbread mug AND A SPITTAKE!!! WTF just happened? XD

Oh, so Ashton REALLY IS gone ... NOW what?

Keystone Cop City ... Travis: "This year needs TO END!!!"

Imigen Messages Ashton ... he's "following a thing" ... apparently this was Taliesin's request. Smart, but will this complicate things?

Fearne: "What if he's a part if you?" Huh?

Matt is quietly pissing himself laughing about the chaos he hath unleashed upon us ...

Laudna (gasping): "MAYBE DELILAH IS IN HIM NOW!!!"

You guys do realise that FCG is currently COVERED in horrendous shite right now, right?

Into the Seminary then ... yeah, they clearly seem to have forgotten all about the shitbomb aftermath ...

Orym is SHORT. I love it.

Vigil Quarter ...

Fearne wants to submit her credentials for the professorship ... XD I love this ... "Lots of stuff with like ... FIRE." Oh boy ...

A PRESENCE? Hmmmmmmm ...

This ... PERSON is totally giving me vibes like The Feared in The First Law ...

They're from Vasselheim? Hmmm ... Travis: "Vasselheim enters the game!"

A Judicator? Sounds terrifying ... I was right, this thing IS a bit like The Feared ... yeesh ...

Laura: "Looking for the stolen texts, 100%." Marisha: "Totally." Oh yeah, I agree.

The Nightmare version of Carrot Top ... yeah, I don't get the reference but I still understand kind of what you're on about ...

Ah ... okay, NOW I'm thinking Matt's been reading a lot Mistborn lately too ...

Ooooooooh ... this is just DRIPPING in foreshadowing now, isn't it? Mr Mercer, your signposting is showing ...

Fast Friends! HAHA!!! Nicely done.

Oh there we go, FINALLY they're acknowledging the STANKINESS ...

Carolle: "I'm not supposed to be telling you this." FCG: "I know, but it's nice to be naughty sometimes."

Sam, you sneaky little shit ... XD Yes, a walkabout would be in order right now.

Oh no, that's not suspicious at all ...

FCG: "Are we going to KILL this girl?" Laudna: "No, we're just going to get as much information as we can out of her before she HATES US."

Plurple?

Oh this is so bad, she's too nice ...

Laura: "It's like Overboard, you know?" Yes, I too find that movie somewhat problematic ...

Ah, we've arrived ... this place looks fancy ... yeah, this lot bear watching. XD

Oh this house looks quite quaint ... is that intentional? Oh, it's for a diminutive person. Of course.

Yeah, just LET HER GO. Ooh, a tip! Nice kne Orym.

Wait, was that from the fungus? Oh dear ...

Anybody home? Natural 10 ... Matt: "Perfectly average."

Okay, this place is making ME suspicious too ... is there going to be a problem here?

Are you guys SERIOUSLY going to BREAK IN right now?

Did Fearne just THROW Chetney inside? XD

At the mention of the birdbath Travis' eyes go STRAIGHT to Sam ... XD

Fearne: "Are we sure we don't just want to KNOCK?" YES!!! Exactly! Come on, guys!

The door is booby-trapped ... hmmm ...

Travis (as Chetney): "Is there any kind of guttering?" Matt: "Yes." Travis: "Damn it!"

FCG starts mowing the lawn I order to appear to be a gardener. Oh gods this is getting ridiculous ... Imogen: "What are you all doing?" Yeah, I'm with you right now, luv ...

Oh no, now Orym's climbing onto the roof ... Laura: "I can't wait for this campaign to be turned into an animated series."

And now here come the guards ...

"Just when I thought I was out they pulled me back in!"

Deception checks ... oh dear ... and everybody ACES the rolls ... okay then ... I can't believe thos actually worked ...

Imogen: "Are you guys still pretending to be gardeners?"

Black Hole Sun video ... oh yeah ...

Disturbing Presence? NO!!! What are you DOING?!!! It was working!

Hex doesn't work like that! Laura misses Hunter's Mark ...

And now Chetney is IN THE HOUSE ... this is either a good thing or REALLY BAD ...

All the bird cooing noises makes FCG flee under Fearne's skirts ... Fearne: "I'll keep you safe."

Faintest smell of sweat ... the smell of nerves? Oh gods, Matt, what the hell is THAT supposed to mean?

Booby-traps galore ... never a good sign.

Oh sure, like a disembodied voice calling out to him isn't going to TOTALLY FREAK HIM OUT if he's here? Really?

Travis: "I feel like Joe Pesci right now!" Damn, yeah, Chetney very nearly just Home Alone'd himself ...

Chetney opens the window ... and everybody is GONE!!! XD Chetney: "What the fuck?!"

Treshi Ball Change?

Chetney: "I thought I smelled body odour ... smell!"

Orym's stupid high perception again ... Laura (as Imogen): "What do your halfling eyes see?" XD

Laudna clambering in the window all creepy style is chef's kiss ...

Oooooooh ... there are TWO MINDS BENEATH THEM!!! Basement! Basement!

Fearne doing the Fremen Sand Dance ... XD

Chetney opens the desk and gets splashed by a booby-trap ... oh, here we go ... 8 points of acid damage? Yikes! And the desk is empty! Matt's glee at how completely pointless that was ... XD

Travis: "Are there Micro Machines on the floor?"

Ashley makes a People Under the Stairs reference and I sm HORRIFIED by how long it takes for anyone else to get it.

Looking for the trapdoor ... ooh, this is sneaky ... yeah, I don't think the painting actually MEANS anything. And FCG is still not getting it ... oh wait ... here we go. Sam: "It's a Delorean!"

STAIRS!!! Yay!

Orym: "We're just two invisible guys, one of us smoking." Oh yeah, that's right, Orym doesn't have dark vision ... MAGIC BLINDING SKULL!!! And now Orym is blinded!

Declaring their intentions ... is this going to prevent a fight?

Teleportation circle ... and now THEY'RE ALL JUMPING INTO IT?!!! Oh boy ...

And now the break ...

Part 2 ... what now? And are we missing anyone?

Sulfur stink ... Sam immediately makes jokes about Laura farting ...

Planerider Ryn? Oh yeah ... but that's not it ... now I'm just confused ...

The letter! Is the letter going to save the day? Oh wait, Orym's still invisible ...

Baryn? Oh dear, not trained with a crossbow! ^^;

Fearne just appointed herself the leader of Bells Hells, then ...

It WAS Ryn! Okay then!

Niles ... okay ...

Strug-a-loogaloo?

Imogen, just tell them who your mother is! Oh, she shows them her arms ... and YES they DO know her mum! I knew it! Well at least THAT defused the situation ...

A Taste of Tal'dorei tankard? XD

Otohan, yes. Very much the conversation killer ... Laudna (grinning): "She killed me! It was very intense."

Ooooooooh ... EXPOSITION!!! Glorious glorious information!

Oh man, Planerider Ryn is a HOOT!!! XD I love how excited she's getting about all of this.

It's effecting the Shadowfell TOO?!!! Oh fuck that's extra bad ...

Oh yeah, the Nightmare King! Him again ...

The furniture's moving again! Shit!

Ryn: "I'm pleased to discover that we haven't been befuddled by dullards." Should we be at all insulted, people?

Predathos ... from Beyond the Stars? Oh for ... are we going all Lovecraft here?

Wait ... so this is like The Gathering for Ruidusborn?

Sounds like Liliana's gone to the Dark Side, then. That's not good at all ...

Oh! Allies! Yes! Here we go!

Chetney: "Oh yes, I'm Planewalker Chetney. I used to ride, but ... not at this age."

Fearne is like TOTALLY embarassing Imogen with her inadvertent praise (of sorts) ... oh wow, could they actually help her CONTROL that chaotic shit?

The city ... wait, IS THAT what happened at the end of EXU Calamity? O.O

Seriously, if Predathos turns out to be Cthulu I'm gonna laugh my arse off ...

Yeah, the Shadowfell's basically like the Upside-Down ...

Rakshasaaaaaaaaaaa! XD

So not like the Acrobat and the Flea, then? Sorry this whole conversation is giving me massive Stranger Things vibes now ... XD

Yes. Definitely Jeff Goldblum vibes.

The Cerberus Assembly "bullied their way into their studies"? Yeah, sounds about right ... seriously, where's Caleb when you need him?

Yeah, maybe an army's not the best plan right now ... but friends would still be helpful. Hey, guys, call Dorian! Get him to bring Opal and Ted and Dariax!

Come on, Imogen's not THAT fragile!

Laura (singing): "From a distance ..." Damn it ... XD

Oh yeah! Fearne's nana! Yeah! Call on her too! Wait ... The Fatestitcher? WHAAAAAAAT?!!!

Is this news to Fearne? Sam and Laura: "INSIGHT CHECK!!!"

It's A LITTLE BIT of news to her? Wow, the more she talks the more it sounds like some weird conspiracy ... AUNTIES?!!!

Chetney: "Did your home have legs?" Laudna: "Chicken legs?" Fearne: "No, it was a normal home." Imogen: "That walked around?"

Yeah, Morri is totally Baba Yaga. I can totally see that one coming ...

Ira's been working with EVERYBODY. Dude's like a total chaos gremlin ...

Two weeks? Ticktock ticktock ...

Ah, the return of "time is a weird soup" ... XD

Bompers? Who TF is Bompers?

Fearne is WAY too enthusiastic about this idea. XD Imogen is gonna message her ... oh this is gonna be super awful, I just know it ...

Morri the Fate Stinker ... oh Matt, you fool ... XD

This is just getting worse by the second, is Imogen REALLY gonna message Morri?

There's no way Liliana wants Imogen mixed up in this. She loves her, she's her mother ...

Imogen messages Morri ... oh boy, that is a messy one ...

Watching Travis while Morri replies ... yeah ... that is SUPER CREEPY ... and I love how Fearne still thinks she's so cuddly ... meanwhile Imogen is TERRIFIED ...

Oh yeah, who in Vasselheim IS the problem here?

I love Niles ... XD

Oooooooh ... foreboding ... Matt Mercer, stop with the doom and gloom already, you're making us nervous ...

Back to the basement, yeah, probably best.

Teleported back. Okay, is everything okay? Oh shit ... loud bangs are never good ...

It's the feckin Judicators, it has to be ... "Smell them ... find them." Matt: "And that's where we're gonna call it a night!"

AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! Not ANOTHER cliffhanger, not now with a 2 week wait! DAMN YOU MERCER!!!

#critical role #crit role campaign 3 #critical role spoilers #campaign 3 spoilers #campaign 3 episode 43 #matt mercer #marisha ray #laudna #liam o'brien #orym of the air ashari #laura bailey #imogen temult #travis willingham #chetney pock o'pea #ashley johnson #fearne calloway #taliesin jaffe #ashton greymoore #even though he's not here this week ... #sam riegel #fresh cut grass

[dashielldeveron]

Whew, okay this is a little embarrassing the length of this and commenting in the first place(I prefer being a silent appreciator of writing) but I'll get over myself for like 10 minutes.

Okay where do I start? Omg there's so much to talk about. But first off can I say I love the soulmate trope so so so so much. Like it activates the full on feral can I have some more sir part of my brain.(yes that exact meme) I came across this purely by accident digging into the aizawa x reader tag. Fav pairing with this man btw. But once I got acquainted with the overall story and the plot.

I blew through the entire first part of the story in an about an hour and a half. I may be a little late to the party but your writing is *chef kiss*. Ugh yes! The entire plot is amazing and the idea of a villan with a soulmate type quirk along with the later introduction of a villan with a sex pollen quirk for some drama. Like I was tearing into this hand over fist, giggling at the slow burn of it all. It's not over done and the pacing was perfect. When I was read the part about the reader choking up a flower. My eyes got so big, I even said out loud this fic has hanahaki too? Heck yeah! I'll admit I was touch disappointed when it wasn't an actual thing but I understood how Aizawa jumped to the conclusions about from soulmates to hanahaki being a real thing. Lol I got duped right along with him.

(Definitely sounds feasible in this soulmate AU and would love to see how you'd explore it, should it be something that you'd consider in the future)

The club scene? Oh my god. Someone get me a wheelchair because that moment with him being tipsy and let-me-teach-you. And just playing into being a dom and calling reader a brat. Crying.

And the paperwork mix up lol. Suprise! We've been married for 8 months now. That was so sweet when he admitted he already had the ring at home.

And what slow burn 38k fic is good without some spice? It was amazing. Better words are failing me at the moment. But I haven't seen anything better written in years.

All in all, I wanted to say thank you so much for writing this. Am I going back to read the other soulmate pairings, because I need more in my life? Yes, yes I am.

I'm sprinting not walking to read the rest lol.

But seriously if I could pop a little confetti cone through the screen, I would. Because you did that, you ate it all up and left no crumbs. And I am eternally grateful and excited to see more of your works. No matter what they may be. This will be my new brainrot for the weeks to come and will forever live in my head absolutely rent free.

oh my god. oh my god i need a minute. i just need a minute

*snatches up each piece of confetti to eat it* how are such kind people like you walking about on this bitch of an earth?????? your pointing out of details and being so generous made my heart fucken stop.

yeah idk if i'm gonna use hanahaki for real later? i am vaguely entertaining it for a character not committed to a route yet. here, i just wanted aizawa to freak the fuck out. fun fact: that hanahaki scene was the OG ending before i decided that aizawa and reader needed to suffer more :) and him teaching reader sexy things after teaching her school things????? i thought that would kill him :)

you are NOT late to the party; the fic isn't even done yet!!! there are at least three more routes (shinsou, dabi, and shigaraki) and a writer with a terrible uploading schedule!!!

thaaaaaaaank you so much for reading!!!!! xx.

#dash it all

[bananaapplewaffle]

Archon Quest: Chapter III: Act VI: Caribert

Let’s fucking go

Who’s asking?

SAKLDJASKLDKJASKLD

NOT ME AND PAIMON SHARING A BRAIN CELL 

[email protected]

Oh look at how the letter style has changed

Ain’t no fucking way that he just on a whim set this shit up

ITS A FUCKEN SET UP

Girl Boss? Good god

I fucken knew it

The god’s smile upon shudap

So he’s been here before

Ah so Sumeru is on the way to Mondstadt from wherever the hell Khaenri’ah 

GIRL THE SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS

THE SUDDEN SILENCE 

IS IT HE

Oh it was after he was taken in

Okay, okay 

The mental notes

DO YOU HEAR THAT

ADOPTIVE FATHER

;LASDKASDLKASL;DKADSL;

HUH

WHAT

NEAR SUMERU?????

ASDKL;DAK;LDASLD;KASDASDK

OH NONONO

NOW I'M SCARED FOR 3.6 

AND I'M JUST STARTING 3.5

ASKLJD;ASK;ADK;LSLD;SK;ASLDK

ASADSA’;KLASLDK;ASDK;ASKD;AS

ASDKSA;LDK;ASLDKA

HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

YOU’RE FUCKEN LYING

…

Are you saying this so Dain can hear it

Is that what you’re doing? 

Define certain things

…

THAT’S HOW YOU SAY ALBERICH

GOD ITS JUST LIKE LUXORD ALL OVER AGAIN

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Oh wait

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DAIN DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT

I FEEL LIKE IM THE ONE IN TROUBLE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAEYA IS THE WHO OF THE WHAT

DESCENDANT OF THE ABYSS ORDER FOUNDER 

HE WASN’T EVEN AWARE?????

GIRL THE TEA IS PIPPING HOT

At the same time, ain’t no way he didn’t know something

See, he always knows something

…

So wait we got Pure-bloods, now?

So Kaeya could be mixed? 

Kaeya you are literally a knight 

Man i’m just thinking about all the fanfics that just became an au with this sudden confirmation 

Well maybe not

Maybe the king of Khaenri’ah was also the founder of the abyss order 

So he’s still a royal somewhere down the line ion

…

Who the fuck is the King then

THE LOOM OF FATE

THAT’S IN THE TRAVELER’S PROFILE 

Dain bestie what are you talkin bout

Oh yeah its the abyss order’s thing

GIRL BACK IN MONDSTADT

HELLO??

THAT WAS LIKE YEARS AGO??

EROSION???

ZHONGLI WAS TALKIN BOUT EROSION

…

I’m gonna kick you

He looks so out of place in all this greenery lol 

:) has it not changed

or is this another branch :) 

Let Kaeya be around I swear to god

That sounds like a fucking lie but okay 

Oh no

Paimon no

We cannot talk about our friendship 

Paimon you sometimes say some fucked up shit,

but you are my friend.

OH

WE’RE BRING UP BROTHER

LET ME HEAR HER

LET ME HEAR HERRRRR

SHE COULDA SAID THIS HYV

SHE COULDA SAID ALL OF THIS

HUH

PAIMON YOU UNDERSTAND

WHO WERE YOU SEPARATED FROM 

…

No Paimon why are you taking first watch

WHAT THE FUCK DO Y’ALL NOT WANT ME TO KNOW

Oh hey we have actual colored elements in the loading screen

WHERE THE FUCK IS PAIMON DAIN 

Why did we sleep on the floor and not the bed in the house

WHERE THE FUCK IS PAIMON

AND WHY AM I SO OUT OF IT

OH NO BABY GIRL CRIED OVER AETHER LAST NIGHT

Y’ALL WILL REUNITE 

WHERE IS PAIMON

THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN ASKING LUMINE

WHO THE FUCK IS IN THE HOUSE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THEY LOCKED ME OUT OF THE MENU BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE PAIMON WITH ME

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I CAN’T SWITCH CHARACTERS 

I WANTED BARBARA IN THE TEAM BUT I GUESS WE’RE GOING FULL ATTACK THEN 

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NOISE 

DAWG ION WANNA OPEN THE LEAVES

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

GIRL

ITS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE FUCKING HERALDS 

SASADKAS;DAS;LKDLASDK

THE EYES

THE EYES OF KHAENRI’AH

…

Why are you talking like this

Who ever is on the mic needs to swallow the spit in their mouth good goodness

Put yo hands on me, I dare you

Kill him

He has to die, Lumine.

I am strictly morally gray! 

So I’m peeking in the room

That’s a fucking Hilichurl on the bed

So he’s been trying to heal them…

OH NO

Ooh

I can choose

Fuck these gods. 

Well…I can’t say that since we are friends with all the gods we’ve met depsite things.

SO I GUESS I’LL GO FRIENDSHIP ROUTE

Hello, Eide. 

Damn, so they dropped the cataclysm and then the gods were like

“That’s not enough.” 

Curses with immortality

So souls are affected by erosion…? 

…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SO

“PURE-BLOOD” KHAENRI’AHNS WERE CURSED WITH IMMORTALITY

BUT THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO JUST WENT THERE TO LIVE LIFE WERE CURSED INTO BECOMING HILICHURLS 

THAT’S FUCKED UP DAWG

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HIS SON

HE WAS A NOBLE

WHAT

A MONDSTADT WOMAN

OH WAIT

THE TITLE OF THIS IS CARIBERT

Also resending what I said before, Kaeya is in fact a “pure-blood”

That had to fucking hurt

To see that happen

Where

Where is Eide

ALSO 

WHERE THE FUCK ARE PAIMON AND DAIN

I would like to go to the Royal Library of Khaenri’ah

I would take the time to get real close to my screen and read every single book obtained from there

Eide is still gone btw

…

Every. Single. Time.

A post from a year ago. 

My head is in my hands

Why does the mushroom looked fucked up

Okay but what kind of mushroom is that

This man is still gone

ASAD;LSADKL;ASDK

WAIT

THE SHIT JUST 

GIRL

MY SHIT JUST RELOADED

I'M BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF THIS SCENE

Okay everything worked out and he’s back!

What

No

I mean

I already have the power of dendro

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I CAN’T JUST TELEPORT

This is not what you say to get what you want

Bro just lie

Ion think its got shit to do with the Seven tbh

It was someone higher up who had the issue 

…

I better not come back to the Hilichurl being dead I swear to god

God this is so fucked

Lumine being reminded that the gods are fucked

Oh no

They’re Philosopher Stone Mushrooms

Fertilizer he says

It doesn’t look like it but shitt might be

Oh no…

This is toward the Chasm…

Where they go to die

Where the fuck are Dain and Paimon btw

What the fuck is going on 

Changed my Party Setup, Babs is back

LUMINE

LUMINE MY BELOVED

YES SAY MORE 

SAY MORE

…where the fuck dawg

Okay but the music is popping

Lumine sounds spooked

Understandable tho

Now I’m just staring at the statues wondering why their faces have been hacked off

OH NO

HOW DOES HE NOT LOOK LIKE HE’S FROM THE ABYSS ORDER??

AN AUDIENCE WITH WHO?

TRAIL OF DESTINY 

Oh I fucked up if I needed Pyro

Nope Fischl did just fine

Hello?

…

Did you just fall in love, Eide? 

What is going on?

:/

Ion like that laugher 

He did not btw

He is simply just like this

What the fuck

What the fuck is this thing 

Who the fuck was the Grand Thief 

Ah them 

WELL

WE ALL SEEN THIS COMING

INSIDE MY FUCKING HEAD

HELLO

WHO IS THIS

A SINNER

HELLO

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

OH NO I GOTTA FIGHT HIS ASS

Okay but was there not someone there

HELLO???

THE CHILD IS AWAKE

ION TRUST NONE OF THIS SHITT

And this is why you should have never done this

Ignorance is Bliss 

Okay, Caribert

Take of your mask

I need to know what’s behind it

Is it like the ribbon around the girls’ necks from Wolf Among Us

AYO SPEAKING OF THAT GAME

When is 2 coming out?

WHERE THE FUCK ARE DAIN AND PAIMON 

It was the Zeroth God

I decided to go back and talk to Caribert 

Nice lad

ITS GONE

We sure will see it again

Will it come

Nope no laughter as we leave

NOW CARIBERT’S GOING TOO

HE’S ABOUT TO GO TAKE OFF HIS MASK

OOOO

YEP

THE FUCKING MIRORR 

WHAT DID HE SEE

WAIT

THE MIRROR 

I WAS FUCKING RIGHT

I CAN’T KEEP BEING RIGHT

WE ARE ON ANOTHER BRANCH OR SOME SHIT

That looks like he placed it but okay

Girl don’t be the victim 

Ay ay ay relax

Before you transform 

Who the fuck is that

Sounds like Goku

Girl shut up

AOSDAS;LDKLAS;D

ITS THE FUCKING PLACE

FROM THE TRAILER

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK 

WHAT THE FUCK 

I took a shit ton of screenshots

WHAT

HELLO

OH NO

DEFINE TRUE IDENTITY

BITCH

BITCH 

BITCH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THE FUCKING

BP BALLAD

THAT VENTI TELLS US EVERY FUCKING TIME

WE ARE THE ROYALS

A SERVANT 

YOU RAGGEDY BITCH

CHLOTHAR YOU HOE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

CHLOTHAR ALBERICH

AINT NO FUCKING WAY DAWG

WELL SHIT

FUCK ME THEN

My hands hurt from the punching I was just doing 

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT 

BECOME WHAT

WHAT

THE LOOM OF FATE

I SWEAR TO GOD IF I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THAT OTHER SHIT

HELLO

PRINCE

UM 

MY NAME IS LUMINE

MY PRONOUNS ARE SHE/THEY

I WAS FUCKING AAAAAAAAAA

APOLLO 

BY THE POWER OF FUCKING WAKING 

ONCE AGAIN

I IMPLORE YOU TO PLAY KINGDOM HEARTS

I better not be fucking right

YEP

YEP

I FUCKEN KNEW IT

I fucking knew the mushrooms were red for a reason

I fucking knew it

Lumine after going through something traumatic:

Dain:

Define he

Aether he?

Or Kaeya he?

GIRL THE FUCKING VOICE HE

OH

SO ITS SOMEBODY THO

OKAY

ALRIGHT

WILL IT BETTER FUCKING BE RIGHT NEXT TIME DAIN 

I CANNOT WAIT 

OH

OH I KNOW WHO IT IS

ITS FUCKING XEHANORT

THIS MFKER HAS PLANNED FOR EVERY EVENTUALITY 

PACK IT THE FUCK UP Y’ALL

I really did miss you Paimon

I couldn’t even go in my menu

Um so

That was it

They really should pick this back up in 3.6 

Or else :)

Ending pending…

:) 

Please be prepared for more hurt.

#this was a ride y'all #waffle plays #waffle plays genshin #genshin impact 3.5 #genshin archon quest spoilers

[whumpshaped]

Is there anything you've waiting for an excuse to rant/talk about but the opportunity hasnt presented itself?

so this is half a lie bc ive been talking this nonstop for 5 days or so- BUT not publicly.

the spk storyline.

yes- yes- i know- "but tamara youve been doing nothing but post drabbles and picrews and-" SHUSH. I HAVENT TALKED ABT THE FULL CONTEXT AND STORYLINE YET. SO NOW I WILL. SIT DOWN.

ok ok so the entire premise of the spk au i have w @whumpsday is that kane somehow gets taken from the hunters to seth. and meets pumpkin. and theyre both horribly horribly tortured right.

now. this au has a rescue arc. BECAUSE bellamy, that fine ass man swoops in and kills seth. that does not go over well w pumpkin who, while less and less by the second bc of kane's treatment, is madly in fucken love with that man. and of course seeing bellamy commit murder??? is scary??? so pumpkin is TERRIFIED.

now after the rescue pumpkin spends a while being skittish and hostile towards bel, while kane is trying to sort out his own trauma and also manage that, and bellamy is trying his best to be like... non-threatening- but how do u act non-threatening after killing someone yknow- AND on top of all that, pumpkin is going mad without their daily fix of dehumanization. enter anton de sang. whom pumpkin sees and thinks yes. that is the man.

SO BABY PUMPKIN RUNS THE FUCK OFF AFTER ANTON TO BE LIKE "sir? sir? can u step on me?" AND ANTON IS LIKE. GLADLY?? WHAT A FUCKEN WEIRDO. pumpkin gets WHUMPED. while kane and bellamy r freaking out bc they find pumpkin's note abt where they went and they Immediately go after them. theres some angst in here i dont wanna spoil but GOD its some good shit. pumpkin gets home safe tho :D

they all know this cant go on, this is very unhealthy, kane offers to act like pumpkin's new owner in exchange for them never running off again, and pumpkin turns it down bc they know it makes kane SO uncomfy. but bellamy has great acquantances..... and this is where ambrose comes into the picture. u guessed it, the man is a professional vamp dom. thats how he and el meet. oh yes, by the time that happens, pumpkin finally gets the courage to leave the petname behind and start using the name el! which is a shortened version of their birth name that sounds more gender neutral and they love the sound of!

am helps them work through their little traumas while the two of them also fall for each other like nobodys business. in the meantime kane also finally works up the courage w el's help to ask out bellamy, and those two gay little lovebirds also get together. but oh no! el is... el is human... so when they and am finally get married (bc of course they do) that "death do us part" bit is pretty sour. am knows he only has limited time w them.

BUT BC THIS IS AN AU AND WE ALL WANT THEM TO SPEND 3000 YEARS TOGETHER IN HAPPINESS WE DECIDED HEY, AM COULD FIND OUT ABT THE ORIGINAL RITUAL THAT CREATED VAMPIRES AND TURN EL!!!!! so he does :D and from there its all sunshine rainbows and fluff, they live happily ever after as a huge happy family. am's parents kind of adopt kane, which does mean that they rly are one big family since both el and bel marry into it. so they just all share the same last name. oh yes bc neither kane nor bellamy would want to keep their original last names anyway bc of their stupid shitty families. SO YES. thats what we've been discussing for days now and its so good and im so happy it sparks so much joy

and then we have the dark spk au where seth actually survives that night and later bel and am go over to his house when the four of them realize hes alive, and get revenge :) this is a tasty au

theres the bbe or bloodbag el au, where kane takes el instead of jim and anton takes seth. thats where anton's on again off again girlfriend ruby comes in and this au splits into two once more

in one version seth gets taken by ruby later! which is way better than anton but also fucken humiliating bc ruby treats him like a silly little puppy. anton takes graham after this, like in canon

in the other seth never gets out from anton :) poor him :) lucky lucky graham tho

honestly the bbe is the sweetest shit bc el loves being owned by kane. they eventually rly grow on kane.....

we briefly discussed a feisty kane au too, where kane gets taken by the hunters, but before hes properly broken he gets taken by seth. that au includes kane being rude as shit to pumpkin at first. but also seth gets to break him himself :)

anyway heres a demonstration of the difference between spk and bbe

and heres ruby

thank u for this ask it means a lot i rly hope i didnt share anything mill didnt want me to share-

#asks #spk