#god reading this over there's so many typos but i don't have it in me to fix them so let me just throw some trash on to your dash

[lunarrampage]

I'm a big advocate of just blocking and moving on when seeing bad takes about your interests but that's mostly because I rarely travel outside the small circle of artists and mutuals I follow and ohhhh boy after having seen the worst take about a beloved blorbo I suddenly understand everything, it was like a redditer overtook my body and I almost went into a rage as I resisted the urge to "um actually" and type up an entire essay in ops comment section but I persevered. Are you all proud of me.

#im mostly being hyperbolic but gosh #it's still eating me up inside so i will continue to complain about it here in the tags lol #so just scroll away if you don't wanna see me complain about things that don't matter<3 #anyway i just saw someone say how karlach worked dorna slaver and would still be working for him if he hadn't betrayed her #implying she was only against gortash because his actions directly affected her #when FIRST IF ALL SHE WAS AN ORPHANED CHILD WHO WAS MANIPULATED BY HIM #AND SHE EVEN SAID IN HER OWN WORDS THAT SHE NEVER WOULD HAVE WORKED FOR GORTASG IS SHE HAD KNOWN WHO HE TRULY WAS #SHE WAS A KID AND WORKED FOR AN AWFUL MAN AND MOST LIKELY DID SOME PRETTY MESSED UP THINGS FOR HIM THIS IS TRUE #BUT SHE WAS A CHILD AND SHE LOOKED UP TO HIM WHILE HE MANIPULATED HER SO SHE WOULD ALWAYS PROTECT HIM AND DO WHAT HE SAID WITHOUT QUESTION #then he sold her to zariel and it wasn't until it was too late did she realize how evil gortash was #im unsure if she new he was a slaver when working for him but since she was a kid with nothing it's not like she's going to fully commit to #being a morally upstanding citizen when she literally couldn't afford it #saying karlach was only against gortash because his action affected her is BLATANTLY WRONG #she has flaws and is a deeply written characters and she cares so much about other people thats on of the reasons she worked with gortash #she cared about him and he used that to his advantage #okay rant over i love u karlach im sorry people refuse to look into your charcter beyond surface level assumptions </3 #babbles #dear god there are so many typos. i aint retyping all that shit tho good luck deciphering that #i say as if anyone is gonna read it sjkdkf

[just-some-random-blogger]

Kiss It Better

Daemon Targaryen x Reader

Summary: If you love someone, show them. If you're feeling broken, cry. And so if someone you love asks, 'are you alright', when you shed your tears, do not feign falsehood so not to worry them. After all, what point is it to fake your temperament to your love who's memorized you like verse and would burn the world if your tune ever soured?

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: gender neutral reader, war criminal daemon™, yn having a bad day (aka me), hurt/comfort?, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: hello. im not having bad day per se, its mostly just that i find myself unable to do anything creatively, which is horrible considering im a music major and its our midterms and i have to do creative stuff. and i also have many reqs waiting to be done. anyway, writing this to manifest daemon to come into my life and kiss it better, also as like... a palette cleanser. hopefully i can write reqs soon <3 Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @deniixlovezelda @targaryenmoony @risefallrise also @sloanexx because you said you watch hotd now you can read my hotd fics too <3

"You there," Daemon calls the attention of a passing servant, "have you s-" he is caught off-guard when the tiny woman makes haste before he could finish his statement. The prince watches as she flees.

Well, it was not out of the ordinary for servants to shudder under his gaze and quiver at his requests in certain moments, but he was not particularly threatening today... at least not yet. Daemon would say he woke up particularly chipper actually, so he had no idea as to why that girl fled.

No matter.

Again, he was in a good mood, he can simply go about and continue looking for he was looking for-- his fire, his heart, his love.

What cruel ridicule it was of the gods to make his person precisely opposite to him on this day.

Much like other instances, Daemon was successful in finding his beloved in a place that he often did. And so upon opening the library doors, he was both relieved and concerned to see his darling sprawled in the middle of the room, looking up to the ceiling, sprawled out like a starfish, as though it was the meaning of life.

Daemon's brows knit at it.

You were on your back, arms and legs stretched out. He did not think that the carpet was clean enough for your current use. He made internal note to have someone clean it later.

He turns over his shoulder, aware of how much talk your position on the floor would elicit from blabbermouths, and closed the door behind him.

He turns back to you as you sigh; you sighed so deeply as though you were plagued with many troubles. And so the prince reacted the way he normally did, he snorted under his breath and shook his head. He did not doubt that you were likely overanalyzing whatever chronicle it was you found entertainment in this time.

Daemon places his hands behind his back and walks over to you. The concern in him reemerges when you don't at all even move in your place, but then he supposes you knew it was him that was approaching, thus did not bother, since there was no threat.

"Mmm," he leans slightly forward, "you enjoying yourself down there, my love?"

You do not move an inch, save your pupils that dart to him.

Daemon finds himself chuckling under his breath. He raises his brows, "what would you have done if it were not me that walked in, and it was one of the maesters?" He clicks his tongue, "not even I can save you from your beloved teachers."

A lie. He would never not save you from anything.

You furrow your brows a fraction. You retort as though you were offended, "I knew it was your footsteps, Daemon."

Daemon straightens up, allowing his hands to fall to his sides, "that does not answer my question but I shall take it."

The prince then walks over you, heading to the chair near the lit fire place. Daemon sits down and watches. You are still like a log on the floor. He leans on the backrest and sinks into his seat, widening the gap between his legs as he looks out to you.

He calls out your name.

He narrows his eyes when you do not answer.

He calls out again, and by the third time, he finds offence and bangs on his armrest. He sighs when you still do not move still.

Daemon shakes his head, "come now, you hammy babe. Pick yourself up before I drag you over by your heels."

He waits a moment. He waits for your response. Nothing comes. He crosses his arms at your deviance.

"Will you make me repeat myself?" he words slowly.

Still, nothing.

He growls your name out.

Finally, you growl yourself and turn to him. Daemon raises his brows in response. You grumble something under your breath as you begin to shuffle and sort yourself up until you were on your feet.

Daemon watches as you walk over to him. He hides his pleased smile by tutting at you and clicking his tongue, "are you giving me attitude?"

You roll your eyes, "no, your grace."

Daemon tilts his head up and places his hands on the armrest once you're before him, "you just rolled your eyes."

"It's a show of affection, my prince."

He masks his amused breath with a sigh. He tilts his head to the side, "very well. I will allow it," he pats his thigh, "now sit on your throne."

Daemon is pleased that you do not roll your eyes and in fact release a chuckle. And so by the time you claim your spot, legs dangling on the right side of the chair, head by the left side of his, he kisses your neck and pulls you into him by your thighs, "better, is it not?"

Daemon exaggeratedly swats at your clothes, "you're filthy now."

You sigh in response. He knits his brows when he spots the pout upon your lips. Daemon pulls his head back and takes your cheek into his palm. Surely, you did not react like this because of his jest.

"Was the plot your your most recent read so tragic that you're so woeful?"

You look up at him, pout intensifying, "I can't read, Daemon. I haven't read anything in weeks," you reiterate with much more stress, "I. Can't. Read."

He knits his brows tightly before raising them. He watches as you crash your head into him. He looks at your frustrated face, finding his own copying the expression, "well, I never thought you of all people would forget such a skill, but if I must, I will teach readily, starting from the alphab-" he cuts himself when you begin to push yourself off him. He breaks into a laugh, hooking his arms around you, "alright, alright, ñuha jorrāelagon, perhaps it wasn't very funny of me."

You find yourself quickly unable to move against him when he manages to lock you in place. When he releases you, you give him an unamused look. He gives a lopsided smirk, "I say, it was, in fact, hilarious."

You watch him with an annoyed expression as his body pulses with his laughter. You roll your eyes, "I'm glad you find this amusing."

"Of course it's amusing," he chuckles, "you're awfully dramatic about it, my whiny baby."

You scoff, flicking his nose, "says the boy who landed Caraxes on the roof of the Lord who asked me to dance."

You continue to rant about it as Daemon yelps, clutching his nose before clutching your jaw, "that hurt."

"Oh, please," you hiss, "you're so dramatic about it," you mimic with an exaggerated Daemon impression.

He snorts then grunts. He takes his turn rolling his eyes.

You stick your tongue out to him in spite and headbutt his shoulder before nuzzle into the crook of his neck, "doesn't feel nice, now, doesn't it?"

Daemon leans his head against yours, "it feels nice when I do it you though."

You hum, "and that says a lot about you."

For a moment, you both enjoy the feel of the other. You enjoy the sound both your bodies emit, the warmth, the familiarity. Daemon begins to massage your scalp, "are you truly so torn about not being able to read books?"

In truth, it was a ridiculous question. Daemon knew that sometimes even he stood nothing against bound pieces of paper in your eyes. He's glad you explain your emotions to him anyway.

You huff, "it's... it's just so frustrating. I want to read something. I want to read something so badly, but at the same time, I can't bring myself to do it. The idea seems exhausting, daunting, even"

After admitting this, you turn to Daemon. Your face twists at his expression, seemingly so genuinely appalled by the thought and so very truly trying to make sense of it all.

You let out a laugh as you brush the lines of his face away with your thumb. He immediately softens at your affection. He blinks, "perhaps it would be better if you stop reading for a while then."

"Daemon, I haven't."

"Well, stop thinking about wanting to read."

You knit your brows at him as he continues, "maybe your mind is tired of reading the same stories over and over again."

You snort, "I barely make sport of rereading my favorite stories. I'm afraid I won't like them anymore if I do."

"Then if that's the case," Daemon says, "reread something."

You watch as he brushes his hands on your thighs, "if new stories are too daunting, then something old will comfort you, surely. After all, you already know what happens. It takes less work, since you won't be thinking about what happens next anymore."

For a moment, you look at your prince, your rugged prince who had no place for reason when it came to certain matters of you, your darling that flew to the North on a whim because you mentioned there was were tomes there that you had always wanted to borrow, your Daemon that broke a pageboy's arm in anger because he accidentally spilled hot soup on you. He seldom made sense, and yet here he was, offering you all the sense he's got.

Of course, his lack of sense you had to make up for, as you personally apologized to the Starks for the theft of their beloved books, and, of course, you tended to the poor boy Daemon injured yourself while apart from offering a much needed generous compensation.

You look at him and feel your stomach mush at his gentleness.

"You don't think I've gone mad?" you mutter.

Daemon's face scrunches. He opens his mouth for a moment before speaking, "do you honestly believe something like this would make you the mad one between us?"

You laugh. You laugh because he's right. You laugh into his shoulder, curling into a ball of delight. You laugh at yourself when your Daemon pointed out how ridiculous you sounded, then you offer in between your giggles, "it's quite mad for me, don't you think?"

Daemon leans into you and pulls you close. Warmth sprawls all over him when you wrap your arms around his torso and kiss his jaw. He releases a deep sigh, shaking his head slowly "oh, yes. You're caught. How utterly tragic."

You knit your brows, stealing a look at him as he continues, "I've not yet made you a Targaryen, and yet here you are, slipping into madness," he raises a brow at you, "I ought to do something about it, shouldn't I, my sweet little lunatic?"

You huff and slap at cheek lightly, "don't call me that."

Daemon chuckles then growls before kissing you on the lips. Your mind slips into a haze at the feel of his mouth. He pulls back and grips at your thigh, "Pardon me. I meant my insanely massive lunatic."

#daemon drabble #daemon x reader #daemon fanfic #daemon fluff #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen fanfic #house of the dragon fanfic #hotd fanfic #daemon targaryen x you #daemon x you #daemon targaryen fluff #daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen hurt/comfort #house of the dragon fluff

[ebonysplendor]

Perfect Love Review 💖

TL;DR: Yeah, Milo is toxic and all, but growing up is realizing that, maybe I'M the problem. Maturing is realizing that it's not even a damn maybe; we're deadass the problem this time.

Game Link: https://c4game.itch.io/perfectlove

Notable Features: Sadistic MC, Gender options, LI turned Yandere, (8) Endings Tracker, Self-Insert Spiciness: 0/5 -- As far as I know, there's no spicy scenes, but I was so shook after my first playthrough, I just ran to make a review. That said though, this game is by no means wholesome LI MC Red Flags: 7/5 -- Sadistic, vindictive, manipulative, drugged someone, accessory to crimes, conspiracy to crimes, gaslighter, blackmailed someone, emotionally/mentally abusive, just..a lot of shit (and you thought Castiel was toxic)

Wanna know more? Well, let's get into it!

Fair warning, there may be way more grammar errors than normal because when I tell you that I played the first ending and ran to make a review, I mean that quite literally. That being exposed, just bear with me because this had very little proof reading because I was way too excited to tell you all about this game (without spoiling too much, of course) lol

What's up! Welcome back to another review!

Two things to start this off:

1. I know I already posted another review today, but I couldn't not write a review about this game and tell as many people that would listen to play it as soon as they could! 2. No, my friends, that was not a typo. It's not the LI we need to be concerned about; it's the MC. Yes, we're the problem this time around, and holy shit, please allow me to tell you about it! Or at least some of it, because I don't want to spoil too much.

As angry as this game made me, and as open and as wide as my mouth was during pretty much the entirety of this game, this has been the best damn visual novel I have come across to date! Yes, you read that correctly, and I will double down on it without hesitation; this is the best visual novel that I have ran across! Bitch, I would've paid money for this visual novel it was so good, and y'all know that I'm a cheap bitch! This was a $12.00 game (no, I still ain't over that! lol)! I would've gladly dropped that amount of money on this!

And I really hope I'm not exaggerating or overhyping it either, because I don't know which visual novels you guys have or haven't played, so let me clarify: For me, this is 1000/10 the best visual novel that I have read up to date. The pacing, the art style, the story its damn self, the fact that we're the problem this time around! Like, ugh, I could go on and on and on and on and on some more about this masterpiece of a game. I'm dead serious. I really believe that I could do an improvised one hour powerpoint presentation with absolutely zero prep time on how much of a chokehold this game has me in and STILL need an extra 30 minutes to an hour to really get my damned point across. It is that real for me. It is that serious.

All right, all right, all right, I'm gonna stop myself here because if I keep gushing, the intro is going to get way too long. That being said, it is officially time for me to write the synopsis. More than ever, I really mean this when I say, I'm going to tell you as much as possible without spoiling the game itself, and gods damn it, is it going to be difficult because, holy shit, the stuff that goes down?! I really want to tell you about it but fuck, if I do, then you might not play it yourself, and I can tell you right now, you have got to play this for yourself, and I highly recommend this game! Y'all are seriously missing out if you don't!

Okay, okay, I'm shutting up, because the intro's for real, for real getting too long and really redundant. Like, we get it, you love the game, start summarizing the damn thing! No worries, I hear y'all, and that's exactly what I'm about to do. Just a heads up, you're gonna need to buckle up for this one. Like, no, deadass. Buckle the hell up. I don't know what the hell kind of ride I'm about to take you guys on, but it's a damned wild one.

All right. Enough intro, enough talking. Let's finally get into it.

So, boom, and gods damn it, I mean, BOOM.

The game starts off with a little introducty-duction about how fucked up we are as a person. I'm not kidding about that. Basically, you know how we play these "dark romance" visual novels because the idea of someone being so unhealthily obsessed with you to the point of literally driving them bat shit crazy is something that just excites us for whatever reason? Yeah, we're like that in this game, except, we're literally delusional. Not the "quirky", cringey "aha, I'm so crazy~!", not delulu, like full on, needs to be admitted into the psychiatric floor of the hospital, delusional.

Anyways, we aspire to experience and permanently have that specific type of psycho crazy love, and damn it, we're going to have it, even if we have to go past just manifesting it and instead creating it ourselves, and I mean that quite literally. Let me explain.

See, at this point, there have been many failed attempts at getting this form of toxic love that we're after. At first, (or at least it's implied that) we tried to find it naturally, but it wasn't working out because, quite simply, it was never enough. I mean, sure, they cared about us, and sure, they would fight for us. Hell, they would easily do things for us if we asked, but they would always fall short because they wouldn't be willing to do anything and everything for us, let alone without us just being straight up about it and asking them to do so, and that, my friends, did not and will not fly.

Because we were tired of the constant failures and the constant disappointment, we decided to get on our boss shit and solve our problem instead of complaining about it. How do we solve it? By simply creating the love that we're after, and the first -- and most critical -- part of creating that love, is to find the right type of person. Someone who was a loner and an outcast. Someone that people ignored without so much as a second glance. Someone who allowed people to walk all over them and treat them any kind of way because they had no sense of self-worth. Someone desperate for affection, touch-starved even. Someone like...that new kid who recently transferred.

Milo Change. The perfect sap.

So, for totally non-selfish reasons, we play hero, and we step in to save the day. The bully -- his name's Ryan, by the by -- pretty much hightails it out of there once we intervene, and we're left with our suitor, and a suitor he'd better damn be because we didn't save his ass for nothing.

Milo gets off the ground, and he stumbles into us because he had gotten beat down pretty bad. True to expected nature, he apologizes, and starts rambling on about his friends for a little. He basically explains that, even though he knows that the people that he hangs around are really shitty, being new and not being used to the area makes him anxious to the point where he prefers their company over having no one and being alone. How coincidentally in perfect character he is...this is the one. Time to turn on the rizz.

When he asked why we jumped to his defense, we hit him with the ultimate "I was worried about you". This man's heart immediately gets to fluttering, and he's just making this too easy. It gets to a point where we make this "arrangement", so to speak. In exchange for giving him pointers on how to start standing up for himself, he has to date us. Of course, he jumps on this offer, because aside from him being the very type of spineless dweeb guy we're looking for, we knew that he had a serious crush on us. We know this because we had noticed that in passing and in the classes that we had together that he was always sneaking glances at us, so why not exploit that shoot our shot?

Anyways, we flawlessly sink the shot, and we get our date established. When we meet up, we decide to go to the batting cages, but it throws Milo off because they aren't the kind of batting cages that he was thinking of. Actually, quite frankly, it isn't really a batting cage but instead this really creepy room that has bats and is filled with mannequins.

Naturally, Milo starts asking questions, because now he's pretty uncomfortable with this whole thing, and it only gets worse when he sees us haul off and take a pretty ruthless swing at one of the dummies with a bat. At this point, Milo is holding one of the bats in his hands, and he's like "Nah, nah, I'm not into violence. Like, this is wild", but we reassure him that this isn't so much a reflection of character but a perfectly healthy way to get his anger out. He's still a little hesitant so we start planting thoughts giving him things to consider, and we're just like:

"Dude, are you not angry about the way that your so called 'friends' treated you? Did you actually like that they would use and abuse you when all you did was try to be nice? You did nothing wrong, and yet, they found it amusing to see you in pain. Do you really think you deserved to be treated like that...?" In short, we're just like "Getting your ass beat for the sake of friendship? Couldn't be me".

Milo stops for a second and really considered our words. After he really thought about it, he realized that he was and still is pissed about everything, and he goes in.

Like, really goes in to the point that the bat shattered and his hands started bleeding.

This scares the crap out of him because he didn't realize how much anger he had been holding in, but we find his performance desirable, not to mention severely attractive. Insert the Kronk meme because, my bois, it's all coming together.

We see the potential in Milo, and we're more than happy to help him reach that potential that we know he's capable of achieving. That being said, while he's trying to process what's going on, we just reassured him that we weren't scared of him and that it probably felt really good to finally get all that anger out. The tragic part is that Milo innocently agreed that it did.

We smile about the fact that he unknowingly took the bait, and we keep reeling him in. We tell Milo that we're really happy that he was able to get that anger out, because we understood that the world could be and is super cruel. While we're on the topic of the world being a really messed up place, we just idly bring up the concern of something happening to us and whether Milo'd protect us or not. Milo is once again thrown off because, yeah, the world is cruel, but why would we even picture a scenario like that? So, we explain that it's not necessarily that we wanted to think about it, but that because there's so much violence going on in the world, it was natural to think about.

That being said, we double down and tell him that he may have to protect us one day and fight back. We already know how Milo feels about violence, so we tell him to think of it more as self-defense and not so much as an excuse to be violent towards others for the sake of being violent. It was protection, really, for both himself and the people that he loves and "Milo...you'll protect me...right?"

And, once again, very innocently, he promises us that he will.

With that declaration, he became stronger. He upgraded from mannequins to glasses, plates, and whatever else in ramshackled houses to cars in abandoned lots. He even did classes that taught him how to fight, whether for self-defense, to protect others, or to simply hurt someone. He had become a bit more brash, and the "friends" that he had before started to back off because he was so different, but that was okay; that was what was best for him, and even more importantly, that was what we wanted.

Milo clung onto us. He knew that he was the only one that we could trust because our sweet Milo deserved the world, but the world didn't deserve him. He knew this because we told him exactly that, and why would we ever lie to him? We wouldn't, and because of that, Milo believes that we're the only one that he can trust -- as it should be.

Milo was slowly, but surely, starting to learn, but despite this improvement and despite this change...

...It still wasn't enough. Just the same as before.

Nah, nah, nah, I'm not telling you anymore, because it was hard enough withholding some of the details here. Know this though: this isn't even the halfway point let alone the thick of it, and this is one route out of eight that I just described to you. Yes, it gets damned wild, way beyond this.

FRICKIN FINALLY. I was about to explode trying to get to this part!

Guys, if it was not obvious, you guys have got to play this game! Like, I usually be like "Oh, if you want, and you have the time and feel like it, play this game" but nah, nah, nah, nah, NAH. This is not optional. You will seriously be missing out if you do not play this visual novel. Now admittedly, I got pissed at the MC because, shit, like, there's an option for self-insert, but I was so far detached from this character because this bitch is -- and Markiplier said it best -- fucking psycho crazy bonkers! Like, I saw certain stuff coming, but it's like, when it happened, it would be 10x worse than I thought it'd be.

Like, you honestly have no idea. The lil' synopsis I gave you at the top isn't even really a synopsis; more accurately, it's a teaser, because what I told you didn't even scratch the surface of what is going on. Guys, gals, gays, theys, all of y'all...please...I beg...play this damn game. Like holy shit, I cannot push this game enough. Like, yeah, sure, just to provide criticism or whatever, certain things or scenes are worded really "Ooh, I'm edgy and fucked up", and (unless I just read it weird) I think there were a few coding errors for nicknames and some super minor grammar errors, but like honestly, it doesn't even matter. I honestly couldn't give a damn because shit, the game is damned good! Like, there honestly isn't anything significant to complain about or critique. The dev? C4Games? They are out here, and they are setting the bar damned high.

Like, oh my gods, the fucking concept had me tripping out! Like, the whole "sadistic MC" or "The MC is crazy, too" trope isn't unheard of but, as far as I know, the execution itself is original, and I'm super geeked about it! A sadistic and twisted MC who is literally corrupting and molding an innocent guy to be the yandere that she craves. Like...what the hell? Ahhh!! I love it! Like, I literally cannot hold in the amount of gushing that I'm doing, and you can tell when I'm gushing because every other sentence will be "like, like, and like, like, like, and oh my gods, holy shit, like, like, like". Like lmao, I am gushing. I am ruined.

At this point, I feel that no other game will top this game. If I was making a tier list of the visual novels I have been reviewing, this is by far, no debate, an S Tier, God Tier, "whatever your highest tier would be" game. This visual novel is good, and I cannot wait to play the other seven routes, and guess what? The best part of all of this is that it's released! This is the entire game, and you can bet your ass that I'm going to be playing every route MUTLIPLE times!

Okay, I feel like the review and this overall post is long enough, and I want to stop myself from rambling and gushing anymore than I already have. That being said, that is officially all from me, and everyone's homework-- actually, nah. Everyone's project -- and it's going to be worth 100% of your grade -- is to play this damned game. EXPIDITIOUSLY. This is a requirement. This is an order.

Side note, I'm back on my sims kick, and I'm half tempted to make a family of the Milos I unlock because apparently -- pay attention! This is about to be a "pro, not really pro, but super helpful" tip! -- Milo's appearance and personality changes based on how you choose to mold him. Interesting, right? So, considering that there's 8 endings, I'm thinking there's 8 Milos, so...that's a full household in the Sims. Lol I might do it. I think I am.

Lol all right, enough rambling, I'm outta here for realsies! I hope everyone enjoys whatever time zone they're in, and, in case it wasn't clear or you missed it, play this damned game!

Anywho! Huge reminder! Drink water, don’t be dumb, play this game, and hope to see you around~!

Perfect Love

#milo change #milo #perfectlove #perfectlovevn #visual novel review #vn review #yandere visual novel #yandere vn #yandere boy #male yandere #visual novel #yandere #yandere visual novel review #yande.re #perfectlovereview #perfectlovevnreview #perfectlovevisualnovelreview #perfect love visual novel #perfect love vn #yanderevisualnovelreview #yanderevn #yanderevisualnovel

[sungbeam]

OFF THE RECORD ▷ PART TWO (EP9-17)

nonidol!ji changmin x fem!reader

everyone thinks ji changmin is cute and harmless, but you know that's not who he really is.

▷ genre, part warnings. e2l, childhood friends gone bad, (extra) slow burn, fluff, angst, crying lol, mentions of childhood trauma and parental manipulation, arguing, bittersweet galore, nct ten is there for the sole purpose of being nosy like the rest of us or for being a 2nd male lead who knows!, swearing, hurt/comfort, kissing!, ji changmin dancing (need i go on), symptoms of panic/anxiety, a lot of non-tbz moments sorry i meant it when i said extra slow burn, im literally writing abt people who dance like gods but im a plebian w two left feet i have no idea what im looking at except for hips—, pining haha...ha (more subtle until the end), he's in a bathrobe near the end sorry children

▷ PART TWO WC. 17.6k

love in unity series m.list / otr part one

a/n: if u haven't read part one GO AWAY GO READ PART ONE ??? WHAT'RE U DOING HERE

EPISODE NINE: OFF THE AIR

IT was common knowledge that the week before finals week was referred to as the dreaded Dead Week. Campus was barren, coffee shops and libraries were packed, and almost everybody lived in some variation of sweats, hoodies, and eye bags. You were actually holed up in the research lab (yes, again) because your deadline to get this paper to your graduation advisor was literally looming over your shoulder, and though you were practically done, you were too paranoid of not catching some dumb typo before you turned it in.

Plus, the coffee in the lab break room was free and sponsored by your resident graduate student supervisor, and beloved older brother figure, Qian Kun. God rest his workaholic soul and empty pockets.

There weren't many people here this afternoon; most had retreated to their own homes or offices or wherever they dwelled during the Week of the Dead.

Then there was Ten.

"So do you guys just wither away here by yourselves?" Amongst the empty workbenches, his words seemed to unnecessarily resonate. From his perch in Kun's office, he spread his arms wide to gesture to all the empty space.

Kun pressed his fingers to the space between his eyes. "Yes, now let me wither in peace."

"No, I don't think I will."

You felt yourself smile. Ten had come in a few hours ago with lunch for both you and Kun. Supposedly, when he had heard that the two of you habitually ran on only coffee and dreams during Dead Week, he took it upon himself to swing by the nearest fast food restaurant and pick up a very belated lunch for you both. You’d chomped down on it with Kun in his office, but as soon as you were done, you retreated back to your desk.

The sky outside of the research laboratory was already beginning to bruise to a gray-blue-purple, the color of a dusty blueberry. Soon, you would have to surrender yourself to the night and head back home, but hopefully before that, you would decide that you were at least too tired to continue staring at these same seventeen pages for hours on end…

All three heads perked up at the sound of the laboratory building door opening and closing in the distance. None of you were exactly expecting anyone, especially when people usually indicated when they would come into work. You craned your neck from your workbench to see who had come in—

“I’ll only be a minute,” you heard and recognized your colleague Jacob Bae as he strode in from the outside corridor and into the main laboratory floor.

He met your eyes and smiled. “Hey, Yn.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

He let out a sigh as he jogged past your desk and headed toward a cupboard in the back corner. “I forgot that I left my—” His voice cut out as he ducked into the dark cupboard and withdrew a giant plastic tub. From the plastic innards filled with paper, he fished out a specific packet of paper shoved into a flimsy manila folder. “Forgot my thesis draft.”

You coughed out a laugh. “Dude.”

His grin was innocent and boyish, standard Jacob. “What? A guy’s gonna forget some things sometimes.”

“Is that what you tell your girlfriend?”

He sent you an unimpressed look. “Ha ha, Yn. Very funny. For your information, she’s more forgetful than me sometimes.” He stuck his tongue out at you as he passed by your workbench, and you, as the very mature person you were, stuck your tongue out back at him. It was only fair.

A cough sounded out from the entrance to the laboratory, and you turned your head to find Changmin, out of all people, standing awkwardly in the doorway. Peering out from behind the corner of the wall, however, was his friend Sunwoo from that other night. And yanking Sunwoo back behind the wall was Chanhee. Strange.

Someone (you suspected Chanhee) gave Changmin a firm shove into the laboratory, sending the latter stumbling in before he caught himself and regained his balance. He was swaddled in a dark colored puffer jacket and a red scarf, his red-tipped nose and cheeks bitten by the cold. For the first time, he looked smaller than he was, almost shy or nervous. You hadn’t encountered this Changmin in a long time.

He wasn’t one to look vulnerable out in the open like this.

As Jacob passed by Changmin, he clasped his shoulder in reassurance.

“Hi,” Changmin said slowly as he approached your workbench.

You were still a little dumbfounded that he was here again. “Uh, hi. What’re you doing here?” The argument the two of you had earlier in the week replayed in your mind, and you almost grimaced. You’d both said even more hurtful things, and you supposed you had just been so sensitive that your brain just automatically went into defense mode to protect yourself.

No, you hadn’t been there that night for him. You hadn’t expected to see anyone there at that time of night. That was the whole point of you going so late. You had been trying to get yourself to go into the practice room on your own, but the longer you had stood there, staring at the door, the more you realized you couldn’t do it. It still didn’t sit well with you, how affected you were by your mother’s past words.

Changmin kept his distance, but he came close enough that you could hear what he was trying to say without the others listening in too much. “I was wondering if we could talk.”

You blinked. “Talk? Like right now?” Your eyes darted to your computer screen and the practically finished paper displayed. It wasn’t like you wanted to keep working on it, but your heart beat startled at the sudden thought of having that very important conversation right now, when you weren’t ready.

He caught onto your movements though. “No, no—I mean,” he stammered, recovering with a quick swipe of his tongue over his lip, “just whenever. It doesn’t have to be now. I just figured it’d be best to get that… out in the air, you know?” I think it’s what we’ve been needing all this time. Something proper; no more yelling matches.

For a second, you thought you could see some of the old Changmin in this one. It wasn’t like he had changed, per se, it was more like he was finally showing that part of himself that you had been missing all along. You swallowed, nodding. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll, uhm, text you sometime tonight after I turn this paper in.”

He nodded back at you. “Yeah, cool.”

When you saw him begin to back away, a thought suddenly occurred to you. You called out to him to get him to stop, and you could have sworn that there was a gleam in his eyes then. “Changmin—about Sumin…” You inhaled deeply as you fought for the right words to express your next thoughts, “be gentle with her, okay?”

Even then there was a pang in your heart as you uttered those words. Sumin had texted you all about her interaction with Changmin a day or so ago regarding his “interview”, and she had been gushing about her crush on him. She had even asked you how much you knew about him and if you could give her a crash course in all things dance or even Changmin. Suffice to say, you felt trapped between a rock and hard place, but you didn’t want to let her down. (You’d always wanted to be a big sister; you didn’t want to push her away because of feelings that you were too petty to address.)

Changmin’s head tilted to the side as he made a confused face. “Huh?”

You sighed, “You seriously didn’t notice?”

“No, actually,” he quipped.

You pursed your lips; why weren’t you surprised? It wouldn’t be very cool of you to reveal Sumin’s crush on him if that wasn’t what she wanted. You would have to be subtle, but also not subtle, then. “Just—” you made a vague gesture with your hands, “—don’t be brash.”

“Brash?”

“Don’t be mean,” you amended.

“I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”

You thought even Ten rolled his eyes from where he was in Kun’s office. “You’re hopeless, really.”

Changmin’s face pinched, and he was moving back closer to your workbench. “I’ll have you know that we’re both hopeless.”

You deadpanned. “Now I’m pretty sure we’re not even in the same ballpark,” you muttered in exasperation. “Whatever. Your friends are waiting for you, Changmin.”

His lips pressed into a line. He glanced quickly over his shoulder where his friends were pretending to not be eavesdropping, then looked back at you. “Okay, yeah. Just don’t forget.”

“I won’t,” you promised.

EPISODE TEN: OFF THE MARKET

CHANGMIN glanced up at the entrance to the coffee shop, matching the sign in the window to the one he had searched up on his GPS app. It seemed to match from what he saw.

Today was the Friday of Dead Week, a handful of days after he dipped out of his interview with Sumin and confronted you at the laboratory. He had consulted Chanhee that day, regarding his mess of feelings about the situation with you, and Chanhee had practically forced him to go with him and Jacob to the laboratory. (Sunwoo just happened to tag along because he, apparently, felt left out.) Changmin wondered how Chanhee could have possibly known that you would be there, but Chanhee dismissed his worries by assuring him that after he asked you, he would feel a lot better and less like a hot pile of shit.

Chanhee was right, as per usual. Not that Changmin was going to admit that aloud to him ever.

But today was important because of two things in particular, and they both had to do with things that occurred several days ago. The first item on the agenda was going into this cafe to finish up that un-started interview with Sumin. After he had given her his number that day, she was swift to send a greeting text to him to set up a time and place to meet. Changmin actually had yet to visit this coffee shop in particular, but then again, he was a bit partial to the one Jacob introduced to the group last quarter.

Your words of advice, or caution, rang in his ears like the bell that twinkled above the door as he walked into the building. Be gentle with her. Don’t be brash. Don’t be mean. What did all of that even mean? He liked being interviewed, especially when it was about dance, so why would you think he would be anything but well-behaved? Part of him thought it was based off of the two of your interactions for the past three years, but he knew you had the good sense to know he didn’t treat just anyone like he treated you.

The thought remained fresh in his mind even as he scanned the room for a familiar face.

Sumin was seated in a secluded booth in the corner of the coffee shop. When she saw him, she waved him over excitedly, slipping her compact into her purse. Her laptop was left on the table in front of her, but unopened. Huh, maybe she just got here, too.

Changmin slid into the booth across from her. “Hi, sorry, were you waiting long?” He asked as he shouldered his jacket off and set his bag on top of it.

Sumin perked up a little bit. “Oh, no! Don’t worry. Did you have a good week?”

“Ah, as good as the week before finals can be, I suppose,” he chuckled, leaning back against the booth seat. His eyes darted to the unopened laptop still in the middle of the table and he cupped the back of his neck. “Did you wanna order anything to drink? Or have you ordered already?”

She shook her head, her hand reaching up to fidget with the end of one of her curled locks of hair. “Hm? No, I didn’t order yet! I was waiting for you so we could order something together—I mean, at the same time.”

“Cool, yeah,” he cleared his throat, signaling for one of the workers’ attention with a wave of his hand. “We can order and then get started.”

“Ah, ha, right.”

Once orders were taken, Sumin finally cracked open her laptop and got a couple things set up. Changmin patiently waited for her to get all settled, his eyes wandering about the shop and absentmindedly observing the workers behind the counter as they bustled about to prepare drinks and pastries.

Sumin coughed, “Okay, I figured that recording is a little unnecessary, so I’ll just be jotting some notes down on my laptop.”

Changmin bobbed his head. “Sounds good.”

She shifted in her seat, her posture straightening, as she figured out how exactly to start. “I hope you’ll be patient with me since I haven’t been doing this for a long time, but Yn gave me some pointers to start with,” she said sheepishly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“No problem! I totally understand; take your time.” He cocked his head to the side unconsciously, “Yn didn’t offer to sit in for your interviews?”

“Oh! Uh, she did, but I insisted that I was feeling confident enough to do them on my own,” she laughed lightly. “Definitely a bit nerve-wracking, but I think the interviews with Juyeon and a few of the other dancers went well earlier in the week.”

“Hey, I mean, I admire your courage,” he said with what he hoped was an encouraging enough smile. “Just take your time with it, Sumin. We’ll make sure to get you all the info you need.” There. Was that what you meant by not being mean? Wasn’t this just being considerate, though?

His foot tapped against the ground absentmindedly as he thought about the next thing on his agenda after this interview: talking to you. It was weird, having to almost set an appointment to have this very needed talk, but as you had said, you texted him your availability and the two of you just happened to both have this evening free. He just needed to finish this interview… There was still plenty of time.

His words to Sumin seemed to make her shoulders relax a little bit, and she jumped right into her first question. Changmin would answer as thoughtfully as could, which wasn’t too difficult seeing as he was literally talking about one of the things he was most passionate about in this world. He could probably talk about dance and his love for dance for days on end. Sumin, in turn, would skillfully and naturally continue the conversation so it felt a lot less like an interview, and more like an interaction between friends about dance.

Perhaps he didn’t even realize when the questions became less about his experience about dance and more about him; when Sumin gradually stopped typing notes down on her laptop and instead leaned her chin onto her hands to watch him; or when she suddenly asked—

“Is that your ideal first date then?”

Record scratch.

The words on Changmin’s tongue died instantly, and his brain scrambled to process what she had just said. “Sorry?”

Sumin’s eyes widened, her cheeks flushing. “I—I mean, you were talking about going to see live dance shows with your former partner and I just…” She shook her head with an embarrassed laugh, “Sorry, was that too forward?”

Changmin blinked once, twice; dear god, he must have been running his mouth without even realizing. “I was talking about Yn?”

That ripped Sumin right out of embarrassment—well, it was closer to mortification. The color on her cheeks had turned pale. “Yn is your ex?”

Fuck— “No, no, no! She’s not. She’s definitely not—”

Sumin covered her face with both of her palms in distress, a sentiment that was definitely shared between both parties in the booth. “Oh my god, and I’ve been telling her all about my crush on you, too. I must have looked so stupid.”

His eyes flew open. “Huh?!”

“Please, I’ve been so obvious, Changmin!”

Not to me, he thought. Jesus, was he really so blind? Was this what you meant this whole time? Changmin waved his hands around in an X formation, trying to reign the conversation into some level of sanity. “Sumin, I can assure you, that you definitely weren’t obvious until you literally just said it,” he began. “And so we’re clear, Yn is not my ex-girlfriend. She was my ex-dance partner and friend, but not a significant other.” As much as it sucked to admit that—

Sumin slowly lowered her hands from her face with the light reflected in her eyes wobbling. “Oh… okay, I guess that makes sense then.”

Changmin let out a haggard sigh, holding his hand to his head. “Yeah, well… I guess I should say that I’m sorry, but I don’t really share the same feelings for you?” He shook his head to himself, trying to rephrase: “What I mean is that I’m not exactly looking for a relationship. I’m kind of messed up right now.” Understatement of the century.

She pursed her lips, but nodded. “I get that. Thanks for being so cool about it.”

“Least I can do,” he said, clasping his hands together over the table.

“So,” she drawled with a wince, “I take it this interview is over?”

He brushed a hand through his hair. “If you have everything you need and there are no hard feelings?”

She inclined her head in the affirmative, and that was that.

— ✶

Even on a Friday evening, if it was the week before an exam season, the library study rooms were always packed, one occupier after the other. Attempting to score one was the equivalent of launching a stakeout, complete with charging cables, two cups of coffee, and a will of steel (to wait hours for a room to open up). Someone must have been looking out for you though as you managed to snatch a study room as soon as you arrived on the second floor of one of the main student libraries on campus. When you and Changmin had exchanged an, albeit brief, bit of texts, you both agreed that meeting somewhere that could serve as common ground would be good for the both of you. It had to be semi-private, as well, since neither of you wanted to let anyone else in on your private, personal problems.

The library study rooms were your solution, and maybe this was the universe’s sign that this discussion needed to happen.

As soon as the door closed gently behind you, you set yourself up in one of the chairs around the small, rectangular table at the center of the room. Changmin said he would be a couple minutes late because the bus had been late to pick up his stop and Chanhee was borrowing his car, so you texted him to let him know which room you were in.

While you waited, you attempted to ease your mind by scrolling through social media and flipping through emails and returning to social media, and wait, did you ever get a reply back from that one TA? All the while, your knee would bounce up and down ceaselessly, your fingers shaking and cold and numb. You were perhaps seconds away from your throat closing in on itself again, but then the door opened.

Changmin murmured a “hey” to you as he closed the door behind him and lowered himself into the seat across from you.

The room was quiet. “Hey,” you said back, clearing your throat.

You watched as his nostrils flared slightly as he exhaled. “What did you mean by ‘when did I stop caring’?”

You were a little startled that he decided to start right away, but on the other hand, relieved that he did. You wouldn’t have known how to begin anyway. “When did you stop caring?” You parroted in case you hadn’t heard him right. If you weren’t mistaken, he was referring to what you had said that night in front of the practice rooms.

He gave a nod. “Yeah, I was thinking about what you said…” He scratched his jaw, continuing lowly, “...y’know, on the bus ride over here. And I just don’t understand where in the world you got the idea that I ever stopped caring about you.” He met your eyes then, and you could see the tightness in his jaw, but the gleam in his irises.

This wasn't about being right anymore; it was about making things right.

"You—" you grappled for words, finding yourself pinned down by Changmin's relentlessly piercing gaze, "—I just got so much radio silence from you."

"You were giving me the same excuses."

"Because it was the same, exact problem," you fired back. "And, okay, so they were excuses, but god, Changmin. I could just see how with each passing day, you looked at me differently because I was late or I told you I couldn't make it. Didn't I give you reasons why? Just that disappointment and cold shoulder…" It broke my damn heart.

Changmin's arms were crossed over his chest as he considered your words, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. "I never," he began, "thought poorly of you, Yn." It sounded like he was struggling to piece together the right words, too, and he choked down a swallow. "I was going through a lot of shit around that time, and my patience was always paper thin by the time it was our usual practice time, y'know? It was never you specifically I was mad at."

He paused for a moment. His head hung, and he picked at a stray thread on his jacket cuff. "My parents said they wouldn't support me if I majored in dance."

Your heart stopped clean.

"They basically said I'd have to finance myself for all four years if I wanted to make dancing a career," he said with a flippant, helpless gesture. "I was given some scholarship money from the school, but it was nowhere near a full ride. So I was stressed the fuck out because I knew I needed to win those comps to get more money. They were cool with me dancing as, like, a hobby or a way to get into college, but as soon as I told them my intended major was dance?"

Well, shit.

Horror pooled in your gut, the kind that started up at your shoulders and spider-crawled down the length of your spine. "I'm so sorry, Changmin. That must have been so much pressure for you, oh my god."

This entire time, you'd been under the impression that his parents were fine and dandy with their son becoming a dancer. He'd always had a natural, prodigal talent for the art form. He was the absolute cream of the crop from your class, and you couldn't believe they could be anything but proud of having a son like him.

But you supposed you shouldn't have assumed. There was a cost to being a hypocrite.

Changmin nodded, but it wasn't very affirming. It was like he had heard it all before and had already accepted it all grimly and reluctantly. "Yeah, well… I won all those comps, but what did I lose in the process, y'know?"

He gestured to you. "I just thought I'd always have you to run back to, but you were going through your own stuff. I'm not trying to pin the blame on you—it's… just that… you were my best friend. My partner."

"It's funny you say that," you said then, drumming your fingers anxiously against your leg. "I thought I could rely on you, too. And I definitely drifted away from you, but it was because of my own reasons."

Changmin nodded, settling his hands on top of the table and leaning in slightly.

Still, every time you told someone, you could never get it right. But maybe you could get it right this time. "You know how my parents got divorced and I said that my mom had changed?"

His forehead creased then, and he nodded again.

"She started yelling a lot," you said. "Would always make me listen to her scream in my face about how dance was useless, how dance would never help me in the real world, how I was absolutely awful at it and that I should be focusing on something worth my time." You swallowed, continuing on, "And when I told you I couldn't make it or that I was late, it was because she started refusing to take me to practices and competitions and shows.

"And I mean—I tried really hard to keep going, Changmin, I really did." You raised your eyes to meet his and found him staring at you still, but this time you saw that glisten in his eyes again. The tension in his jaw had slackened, and had been replaced with that same dread you had while he was telling you what happened to him. "I thought that I could get past what my mom kept telling me, and that once I got to the practice room—I just needed to get to the practice room—it would all be worth it."

There was a stinging feeling in the back of your eyes, at your tear glands. Your vision was blurring and you blinked back the traitorous tears.

Changmin pursed his lips, his face contorting slightly as he too tried to contain the emotions welling up in him. "And then I shut you out."

"We shut each other out."

"Why—" he rasped, his hand coming up to cover part of his mouth, "—didn't you tell me? I would've—god, I would've—" He didn't know, actually, but all he knew was that he would've been better. Would he have though? Truly? Would you have?

"I didn't like talking about it," you confessed, sniffling. You were ashamed of yourself, both then and now. You raised your hand up to wipe the corner of your eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, fuck, don't apologize." He stood, arms opening and palms turning upward like an offering, "C'mere."

Both of you, teary-eyed messes, stumbled out of your chairs to close the distance in each other's arms. It was the feeling of finally holding each other after three years that made the two of you break down completely. The study room's quiet was filled with sounds of messy, blubbering sobs—hands grappling at the other's jacket, faces shoved into the warmth of a neck or shoulder.

Two pieces of a puzzle having finally been reunited.

This was where you belonged.

"This was all I wanted," you bawled into his shoulder.

It seemed to make his body tremble harder. "I would've given it to you—god, I would've given you anything. I'm so goddamn sorry."

"Hey," you mused half-heartedly, "if I'm not allowed to apologize, then neither are you."

He gave a watery chuckle. "Okay, fine." His wet eyelashes fluttered as he closed his eyes and tightened his hold around you. "That must have been awful, Yn. How…? Just how."

You rested your cheek against his toned shoulder. "Somehow… I don't really know. I'm proud of you, though, you know? I'm really proud of you."

"Thank you. I'm proud of you, too." He sniffled, mouth pressing against your shoulder. "All this time, I thought you hated dance and hated me."

"Oh, god no," you sniffled, sucking in a breath. "I—I knew I couldn't be strong anymore; I didn't want to disappoint you." And when you could no longer attend those practices, you had believed it would be better to not be there to drag him down. You thought that without having to wait on you every time, he would have been all the better. You see now that perhaps you were wrong in your logic.

For a moment, the two of you stood there in the other's arms as words settled and feelings sunk in. The realization that this tension between the two of you was possibly over now was crazy.

"For the record," Changmin murmured, "you're a great dancer. No matter what your mom told you, you'll always be a great dancer."

You laughed a little, shaking your head. "Not anymore, I'm not."

"That's where you're wrong." He pulled away from you and you saw the tears staining his dimpled cheeks, but the smile he was giving you was something out of a dream. He gently, playfully punched your arm. "You're still my partner, after all."

EPISODE ELEVEN: OFF THE SHELF

EVER since Changmin, Chanhee, JC!Yn, and her roommate Kei decided to change the weekly grocery shopping session to Saturday mornings, Changmin had never been so grateful for such a change until now. It used to be on Sunday mornings during the fall quarter because JC!Yn volunteered at the local children’s club on Saturday mornings, but since the Sunny Side Up Club had begun closing its doors on the weekend until summer break, her Saturdays had suddenly freed up.

Kei, as usual, had waltzed off in search of her own shopping list items, leaving JC!Yn and Changmin with the shopping cart of groceries and Chanhee sitting in the middle of it, cross-legged and swaddled in a pink hoodie.

“That’s awful,” JC!Yn lamented as she slowly trailed after Changmin while pushing the cart. There was a frown etched into her face, as well as Chanhee’s, while and after Changmin had caught them up on the events of the previous day’s talk with you. “I mean, I know some parents are super strict about their kids studying, but…” She shook her head, “You’ve both been through a terrible amount of shit, man.”

Chanhee nodded his agreement, peering up at Changmin who was at the helm of the cart, staring at the label on a container of canned corn blankly. “Yeah, for sure. How’re you holding up, Changminnie?”

Changmin shrugged half-heartedly and rather mopey. “As well as I could be.”

“Well, are you guys good now?” JC!Yn asked. “Y’know, after clearing all the air?”

Changmin made a face at the canned corn, but handed it to Chanhee to place amongst the other things in the cart with him. “I mean, kind of? Not really?” He scratched the side of his head, and his two friends looked on at him, then exchanged worried glances. Usually Changmin was the one cracking jokes, but to see him in such a state… “It’s just a little awkward now because we’ve been on ice around each other for years. Going back to normal shouldn’t be easy, should it?”

Chanhee pursed his lips, his head tilting from side to side. “That’s true. When you guys were still in grudge era, you let all the angst between you do the talking.”

“Angst? I was not angsty, for your information.”

Both of his companions scoffed their disagreement. “Every single time her name was brought up around you, you gazed far off like some kind of angsty main hero,” Chanhee retorted. “Like Kevin at that one dinner when we were interrogating Eric.”

JC!Yn laughed. “That feels like so long ago.”

Changmin sent her a look, the corner of his lips tilting upward like the arch of his eyebrow. “That’s because you and Jacob act like you’ve been married for ten years.”

Her face heated at those words, but she held her chin up in pride. “I’m gonna pretend this is your jealousy talking.”

“Oh, please,” he quipped back and turned back to the shelves to hunt for any other familiar labels that would trigger his hunger. “If I wanted to be so grossly in love—”

“Then you’d go find Yn?”

“—Then I’d go find Y—HEY!” Changmin sputtered as his cheeks lit up like the can of roasted red bell peppers in his hand. Chanhee and JC!Yn exploded into equal fits of delighted cackles, the former extending his arm back so the latter could return his fistbump. Changmin scowled through his flustered haze. “Whatever; taking advantage of my vulnerable state is not cool, guys.”

Chanhee beamed up at his best friend with the kind of smile that no one could be mad at. It was impish, adorable even. “Aw, it’s only ‘cause we love you.”

“Gross,” Changmin muttered, wrinkling his nose dramatically, then nudging his glasses up his nose.

As she stopped the cart behind Changmin, JC!Yn rested her arm against the bar and let her chin sit atop her fist as she and Chanhee watched Changmin scour the shelves again. “Didn’t you say you had feelings for her back then, Changmin-ah? Would you say they were still present or not?”

He sucked in a breath at the question as he let the question marinate in his brain. After yesterday’s world-altering talk with you, neither of you were able to stay too long afterward to catch up. You’d both, unfortunately, been called to your own separate summons. But this morning, when Changin had woken up with the information having been properly processed in his brain and given him room to overthink as he did… Truthfully, he had no idea where the two of you stood with one another. It wasn’t going to be the same, not like childhood and not like the past three years.

He didn’t exactly know what to say to you now, only that there was still that emptiness in his chest. He hadn’t expected the feeling to go away, but he also hadn’t expected it to remain. What was he supposed to do? He was pretty sure you didn’t even like him like that back then, so there was no way your feelings would have changed in that sense over the past three years. Some said that distance made the heart grow fonder, and while Changmin wasn’t one for cliche lines, he did feel an ache for you. He wanted to make up for lost time. Even if you didn’t feel the same way he had back then, it didn’t mean that he still felt the same… right?

“I think we lost him,” came Chanhee’s very loud stage whisper.

Changmin shook out of his mind and leveled a glare at his two friends. “I’ll think about it.”

“Didn’t you just think about it?”

“Hey, if JC!Yn-ie can take an entire quarter to tell Jacob-ssi her feelings, then you can give me like, five minutes to think about mine!” He squawked, waving his arms around in the air like one of those car-wash balloon people that flopped around in the wind. Except this one was high on emotions and his round lenses were slipping down his nose, adding to his overall mad man-like look.

JC!Yn deadpanned, shaking her head as she began pushing the cart after Changmin. She muttered under her breath, “He’s just astounded that he has feelings for someone, JC!Yn. Let him be touchy today.”

Chanhee, who had heard her speak to herself loud and clear, twisted around to grin and pat her arm reassuringly. “He’s just malfunctioning because he might actually have a chance now.”

“I can hear you!”

Chanhee chuckled, and the sound was villainous.

The three of them, as per routine, met up with Kei at the checkout lanes. There was one occasion where one of the workers was so tired that they tried to scan Chanhee and make them pay for him, but other than that, most people just offered him a sweet from the jar on the counter. As groceries were bagged up, and Kei was caught up on the situation at hand in verbal bullet point format, she took only a moment to suggest: “Why don’t you invite her to the dance showcase?”

All eyes went to Changmin, even as JC!Yn pushed the cart out with the group.

Changmin chewed his bottom lip. “I would, but... I dunno. I don’t want to trigger anything for her.” He winced to himself, “It would be really cool to have her there, of course! But I literally saw her in the practice room a week ago and she looked like she was seconds away from having a full-on panic attack.” As much as inviting you to watch him perform for the first time in three years thrilled him (and nearly sent him into cardiac arrest), he had seen you that day—blanched, struggling to breathe. He couldn’t imagine just what thoughts were running through your head then, especially after hearing what you had told him yesterday.

He was so—god, he was so angry at your mother. He knew about the divorce and the negative effect it had on her, but for her to practically take all that energy out on you? It was something simply unforgivable. His heart hurt for you.

Chanhee dipped his head in a slight nod, mouth curved down into a frown again. "That's fair. But I mean, it wouldn't hurt to ask, would it?"

"I just don't want to come off as insensitive, especially after three years of the cold shoulder." Your words from yesterday had penetrated him deeply—he hoped to never make you feel abandoned ever again.

Kei peered around at Changmin from the other side of JC!Yn. "If it counts, I don't think she'll take it as being insensitive, Changmin."

"She might feel better about getting, y'know, a personal invitation from you," JC!Yn chimed in. "Even if she isn't comfortable with going, she'll know you're thinking of her."

Changmin pressed his knuckles to his lips, bouncing on the balls of his feet anxiously. It was amusing, and perhaps a little concerning, for his friends to see him like this. He flapped the ends of his sweater sleeves in the air like he was hyping himself up. "Okay. Okay, yeah, I'll invite her to see me perform."

He raised an arm into the air toward the sky. "The next time I see her, that's what I'll—"

"Oh, look, she's right there," said Chanhee, pointing in the distance from his cart throne.

Changmin squeaked, "She's what?!" He slid behind JC!Yn in a very poor attempt to hide himself from the oncoming party.

Said party consisted of you, Yeri, Mark, and Ten—again. Except, instead of the coffee shop across the shopping mall, it was the parking lot on his friends' turf. Mark and Yeri were the first to see Changmin's friend group, both of them making unsubtle glances at Changmin. They passed by with friendly greetings, excusing themselves as they argued over the possibility of the store having watermelon (the answer was no; sorry Mark).

You and Ten lagged behind slightly, seemingly deep in conversation. The latter listened intently, but he felt eyes on him and looked up. His eyes twinkled as he made eye contact with Changmin—Changmin couldn't tell whether or not he liked that feeling.

You realized that he was looking outward and onward, and so you followed his gaze. Your eyes widened a tad at the sight of Changmin's friend group manifesting out of nowhere. "Hi guys," you said with an awkward smile when you and Ten met them in the middle.

"Hi Yn-ie," Chanhee giggled, turning around to wag his eyebrows at Changmin.

Changmin threw back a very unimpressed scowl. He let a smile grace his face just as he looked back at you. "Hey Yn, Ten."

JC!Yn unsubtly began pushing the cart to uncover Changmin. "Hey, you two. Changmin was actually just talking about you, Yn!"

Traitor! Changmin's jaw dropped.

Ten grinned. "That's really funny, 'cause Yn was just talking about you, Changmin."

You glared daggers at your friend with the same level of betrayal in your eyes as Changmin expressed. At least you were both getting thrown under the bus.

Kei nudged him. "Don't you have something to say to her?"

"We'll get out of your hair!" Chanhee chirped, patting the side of the cart as JC!Yn resumed her pushing on the cart past you and Ten. "See you at the car, Changminnie!"

As Changmin's last line of defense walked away with JC!Yn and the shopping cart prince, Ten inclined his head to you. "Should I stick around for this?"

You sighed under your breath. "Probably not. I'll see you inside?"

"Whatever suits your fancy," he mused, shrugging. As he passed by Changmin, he winked, then whistled some random tune as he went on his merry way.

"So what's up?" You asked him then. It seemed to be a cozy morning for you as you fidgeted with the ends of your big, woolen sweater. There was something delicate about the way the corners of your lips curled up into a smile.

Changmin cupped the nape of his neck. "Oh, uh, I know we had that whole talk yesterday, and I was wondering if you'd wanna come see my performance at the winter showcase on Friday?" He added quickly, "No pressure, of course. If you're uncomfortable, then you don't have to worry."

Your lips pursed together in a slight pucker. "I'd actually love to go. I mean—" you swallowed, "—I haven't gone to one since freshman year, but I'd love to."

"You can leave whenever you start feeling uncomfortable," he assured you, but he was smiling widely now. "It'll be cool to, y'know, have you in the audience."

"That means a lot, Changmin," you said earnestly, your smile sweet. It was almost weird to not have you frowning or glaring at him. It felt… good. It felt really good. “I will try my best.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets as he rocked on his heels, teeth biting down on his bottom lip to suppress the eager grin threatening to come out. “That’s all I could ask for.”

EPISODE TWELVE: OFF THE CHARTS

YOU were late. You were extremely late, actually, and to be honest, if you had known the bus was going to break down in the middle of the stupid road, you would have gotten off and walked. But then again, you were practically buried in all of the bundles of flowers you wanted to bring for your friends performing tonight. There were four bundles in total that you bothered to pick out just about two hours ago, one for Minho, one for Jungwoo, one for Ten, and of course, you could not forget one for Changmin.

When Changmin had personally invited you to come see his performance tonight earlier in the week, you couldn’t deny that the feeling made your chest warm and fuzzy. Even as you trudged your way up the stairs to the front of the performing arts building, you were filled with adrenaline and antsy energy. You’d waited so long for this, hadn’t you?

The last time you had come to see the winter showcase was in freshman year, the year the Daily asked you to write a review piece on one of the performers debuting that year, and even that had been enough of dance for the years following. It would be nice to know, this time, that you were wanted in the audience. (Changmin would have wanted you in the audience all this time, but you didn’t know that.)

Because you were unquestionably late, the doors to the hall would be closed shut now.

That was why having a friend like Boo Seungkwan was paramount.

“Thank you,” you gasped as one of the doors to the performance hall burst open and allowed you into the warmth of the lobby. You could hear the bass of whatever song was on and the audience’s cheers from here.

Seungkwan swept half of the bouquets from your arms with a click of his tongue. “Yah, you’re insane for taking the bus all the time. Yeri even asked to pick you up!”

“I know, I know!” You cried, the two of you scurrying over to one of the doors in the hall. “I panicked at the last second to get flowers and then I had to go all the way to the shop on fifth! By the way, did you know they’re open until 11?”

Both of your voices quieted as you slipped into the darkened auditorium. The stage was the only part illuminated in blinding, searing hot spotlights. You had just walked in on a brief break between acts as performers switched on and off stage. Seungkwan led you to one of the rows of seats in the nosebleeds that was relatively in the middle.

All of your friends practically occupied the entire row, and they lit up in delight at the sight of you.

“Yo Yn!” Mark whispered as he leaned over Yeri. “You’re actually here!”

Yeri reached over to squeeze your hand as you took the open seat next to her, and Seungkwan took the last seat in the aisle. “I’m so happy you’re here, Yn-ie.”

Doyoung and Kun peered out from around Mark, and you recognized a couple others from the NCT frat and RVE sorority further down the row. “Hey guys,” you said quietly to them as you wrangled your purse into your lap and adjusted the flowers in your arms, “how much did I miss?”

“Not much at all," Doyoung replied. "It's just been a few of the first years."

"We've got a little while until the older batch," Kun said with a wave of the program in his hands.

You nodded your understanding and settled into your seat to get comfortable. The performances went on one after the other. There was a mix of all different genres, ranging from contemporary ballet to tap and popping. Because everyone in the final winter showcase were in some kind of dance course on campus, a lot of the acts displayed a ton of experience already, even as first-years.

The longer the night went on, the less you believed your antsiness was a result of a nervous tick, but rather the bottled up adrenaline building up from watching all the performances. At some point, you realized you weren't even analyzing the performances anymore, but rather, sitting in awe of each one.

When a brief intermission was announced, Yeri and one of her sorority sisters squeezed past to head to the restroom while a few others from the row headed out to stretch their limbs and find some other friends. You and Seungkwan lingered in your seats, discussing your favorite performances so far, as well as how your finals weeks had gone for each of you.

"I'm just so glad we have spring break now," he groaned, his head hanging with exhaustion. "I might have skipped tonight if that meant I could sleep early."

"You would have regretted it though," you pointed out to him.

He gestured with his hand. "Right, you are." He let out a sigh as he raised his head and met your smile with a tired one of his own. "Well, Yn, you did it. You're watching your first full winter showcase. How do you feel?"

Your gaze flickered back to the stage. The house lights had come on for intermission, leaving the stage drenched in darkness. You could have sworn you saw the heavy red curtains shudder as if someone had poked their head out to view the audience. You remembered when you and Changmin used to do that when you were kids.

You turned back to Seungkwan. "I feel surprisingly okay," you confessed. "I was a little nervous before, but I think that I'm doing good."

He nodded. "Good. I'm glad you're here."

"Thanks, Kwan." You exhaled. "I didn't fully realize how long this was gonna be," you mused.

Seungkwan raised a brow at you. "Well, didn't you only stay for like, Changmin's performance last time you were here?"

"Well, yeah—"

The house lights suddenly shuttered off, and people rushed back to their seats. Your friends who were coming back squeezed past you and Seungkwan, effectively cutting off your conversation from before. The last half of the night would be handed over to the students who were majoring in dance and had been a part of the program for over two years.

You were properly in awe of the next performances. They had decided to put Ten out first, dancing to a song called Baby Don't Stop. He had mentioned the song to you once, but you hadn't really thought much about it until now. It was a side of Ten you hadn't seen yet since you had never seen him dance properly, but… you were definitely going to need to gush about this to him afterward.

You were pretty sure the crowd didn't quiet down for five performers in a row, as crazy-talented dancers such as Minho and Jungwoo followed after.

Each performance was incomparable to the next, and soon, you were sucking in a breath to the sound of Changmin's name being announced.

You slapped your hands onto Seungkwan's and Yeri's on either side of you, both of whom squeezed and shook your hands back as the curtain rose.

The lighting began a deep, electric purple, painting Changmin to look like a dark silhouette on stage. You almost couldn't make out the details of his white and black suit-like uniform. It was dynamic and unique with the suit cut outs and gloves, and he paired it all with an eye look that made his eyes feel darker and smokier.

He was still at first—until a set of horns, like trumpets, blared from the speaker's and he began striding forward.

You heard Mark gasp from two seats over. "Holy shit, he's dancing to Action Figure."

You vaguely recognized the title, but if you were thinking of the right song, then the room was about to get a lot louder. Unconsciously, you squeezed Seungkwan and Yeri's hands as you leaned forward and lingered on the edge of your seat.

The performance was everything you expected and more. Changmin was, as you had expressed before, the absolute cream of the crop. Each movement was brought with sharp precision, like the blade of a knife. Even during the slower bridge portion, he somehow executed the legato-like movements with a crispness of 4K HDR quality.

Everyone in the room held their breath (or screamed it out) with each sultry gaze, each lick of his lips, each smirk—a great dancer, a great performer; he would forever be one of the greats. That, you were very certain of.

When the song came to an end and he raised his head to peer at the audience through his bangs, you and everyone else erupted into applause, whistles, yelling—all the works. Your heart palpitated so hard in your chest that you thought it was trying to mimic his own dance. You were practically shaking from all of the bottled energy, and…

"Wow," you breathed out as you leaned back in your seat as the stage was reset for the next act. Your knee began bouncing fervently, sending the flowers in your lap up and down as well.

Seungkwan murmured his agreement, "Whew. I can't tell if I'm attracted or intimidated."

You snorted, patting his hand with your palm. "Both?"

"Probably."

You laughed, your hand lifting up to absentmindedly press against the base of your throat and sternum.

You couldn't help but think about what Changmin had revealed to you that day. How could a pair of parents not be absolutely floored to have a son as talented as Ji Changmin? It was so unbelievable to you, but you couldn't imagine how it might have felt to suddenly have all that support be ripped out from beneath your feet like his support had been.

The performances following would finish off those of the solo category. Afterwards, a handful of groups performed, including repeats of a few performers. Minho and Jungwoo had performed a stage together (Finesse, if you weren't mistaken), while Changmin and Juyeon made a return to the stage with another sultry hit by the name of Light a Flame.

By the end of the night, you were eager to head backstage to see your friends who had just performed their hearts out.

Plus, the bouquets were wilting.

Once the house lights had thunked to life, and the crowd was beginning to lessen, the row you were seated in with your friends stood together. Some of them were going to head straight home, but a few others planned to stay back to congratulate the performers on a night well done.

"You guys ready to head back?" Mark asked while nodding toward the stage with his hands shoved into the pockets of his puffer vest.

The high you were on was gradually fading out, and you had to clear your throat. "Can I meet you guys back there? I think I'm gonna take a quick breather and then just go in through the backdoor."

They were more than okay with accommodating you, encouraging you to take as long as you needed. Mark and Yeri both took the remaining two bouquets from your arms as Seungkwan ushered you out the door to take that breather.

As you hit the cool, early-March air, you wrapped your coat tighter around yourself and inhaled deeply. All around you, people lingered and chatted with each other, gushing about their favorite performances and reenacting the most memorable parts. You smiled to yourself when you overheard a group of boys near you talking about Changmin's tasteful choice in music, as well as the cohesion of his entire performance, ranging from not only the music choice, but down to the costuming as well. (And the choreography, of course. Everything about his performance, as emphasized, was breathtaking.)

With a sigh, you began rounding the building toward the back entrance.

Now that you had the space to deconstruct your thoughts, you realized that although you felt an indescribable amount of pride for your friends, you couldn't help the pit forming in the bottom of your stomach. In a way, you envied the performers onstage. You wished you had held on a little longer; maybe then, you could have been one of the people on stage tonight like you had wanted when you were just a teen.

When you reached the back door, you managed to gather your strength and let yourself in.

Like that day you had taken Sumin backstage, it was all hustle and bustle, but ten times that. Pandemonium erupted as performers raced past you left and right trying to find their friends, fellow performers, and even the location of their hairspray. (They should have put their name on it, you thought cheekily, but even then, it might not have worked still, you supposed.)

You kept your arms crossed over your chest as you squeezed past people toward where you were hoping to find your friends. As you walked into the dressing room corridor, you nearly collided with a silky dress shirt.

"Yn! I can't believe I found you," Ten chuckled.

You laughed, wrapping your arms around him in an affectionate embrace. "Ten! I can't believe you found me either. It's a madhouse here." You scanned the faces and bodies buzzing about for any sign of your friends. "Have Mark, Yeri, or Seungkwan found you yet? They have the flowers I was gonna give you."

Ten's lips curled up into a smile as he pressed a hand to his chest. "Gasp, you got me flowers?"

"Yes, and please never say 'gasp' aloud ever again," you winced.

That only made his smile grow. "No promises. But what'd you think of the show tonight? I'm glad you stayed the whole time."

"It was incredible! You were incredible," you amended with your eyes likely the shape of stars. "Who gave you the absolute audacity to be so talented, sir! I swear I heard some girl faint a couple rows behind me," you joked.

His eyes narrowed into sly, little crescents. "Oh? And did you faint for mine, too? Or did you save that reaction for another special someone?"

You flushed, your eyes averting to anywhere but the nosy feline before you.

Ten threw his head back in a loud guffaw. "Okay, okay. I see how it is. He's been looking for you, by the way."

Your eyes went wide. "And you wait until now to tell me?"

"I wanted my dose of Yn affection, too," he shrugged, giggling like a schoolgirl. "Plus, the look on your face was well worth it."

"Sometimes I hate you."

"Some is not all," he pointed out.

"—you said she was over here? Yn!"

Yours and Ten's heads turned and you watched as Changmin's eyes found yours in the crowded room. He began pushing his way toward you, sweat still dampening the strands of hair and falling into the collar of the dark blazer he wore for Light a Flame.

Ten snickered under his breath. "Well, I'm gonna go find Mark to get my flowers. Text me later, 'kay? Okay!"

Before you could blink, Ten had disappeared into the masses. You swore that man was so slippery sometimes.

You glanced back in the direction that you saw Changmin coming from,but when you couldn't find him, you frowned. It really was awfully hard to find people in here…

"Boo!"

You swore your soul left your body for five seconds. You whirled around, glaring daggers at the impish squirrel man who somehow ended up behind you. "You're such a menace."

Changmin grinned so wide it looked like even his dimples were strained. "Sorry," he wheezed, not sounding sorry at all. "The opportunity presented itself on a gold-plated platter."

"You should feel very lucky that I wasn't holding lemonade this time."

"Okay, but why were you drinking that without a cap on the cup? Did they not give you a plastic lid or something?"

You felt the corner of your mouth lift. How was it so easy to recall these things? "It's just the universe telling you to end your pranks."

He shrugged helplessly. "I can't help that you are so easy to sneak up on."

"You're gonna say that when I somehow heard you asking if I was in here from across the room?"

"That's because I let you hear that; there's a difference," he said, leaning against the corridor wall next to you. He looked you up and down, tongue darting out for a moment. "Thanks for coming tonight."

You leaned your shoulder against the wall next to him. "I enjoyed myself," you said in reply. "You did really well tonight though, Changmin. It was a great performance."

He grinned, and his tongue had to poke the inside of his cheek. "Just great?"

You raised your eyebrows at him and decided to bypass that question for the moment. "Did my friends give you your flowers?"

Changmin showed his empty hands and you deadpanned.

"What?" He giggled. "I'm just stating the obvious."

"You're so infuriating sometimes."

He gently bumped your shoulder with his. "Nothing new."

Nothing new, indeed. It was strange, actually, falling into this kind of easygoing, light-hearted banter. You'd seen how easy it was that night in the lab, but this was nice, you had to admit. Banter and arguing were two different things, you learned, and the latter always took such a toll on those involved.

How did the two of you stay away for so long? Maybe you were both too prideful, too afraid to break the ice.

Changmin's expression sobered a little as he observed your expression. "What're you thinking about?"

You blinked, glancing over at him. "Nothing, just…" Your voice lowered to something like a whisper, "I missed this." I missed you.

And as you met his eyes again, you knew that he had heard you. He swallowed, roughly. "Me too."

EPISODE THIRTEEN: OFF THE CUFF

THE quad was in bloom with the coming of spring and spring break. It was tradition at your university to take pictures and to take a stroll through the freshly bloomed cherry blossom trees lining the rectangular lawn. Only in spring did the trees reveal their beautiful, baby pink flowers, so it was optimal to go frolic amongst them while they were full.

Changmin had been dragged out by Chanhee. Well, he liked to say that Chanhee forced him outside, but in reality, Changmin had put just as much effort into his appearance today as Chanhee did, just not as formal. And luckily, it wasn't just the two best friends who were out with them among the crowd of people, but also the entirety of their friend group—plus the significant others, too.

"I hate this more than Valentine's Day," Sunwoo grumbled as he blew a curl out of his eyes. He was referring to the couples all around them taking pictures and holding hands and kissing.

"You're telling me," Kevin sighed as he messed with the settings on his camera for the pictures he wanted to take of the scenery. "At least on Valentine's Day, people won't photobomb you."

Sangyeon had his phone out and was already taking photos of the blooming flowers around him and in the trees. He suddenly turned his phone around, set at point five zoom. "Hey guys, look here and smile!"

Everyone in the shot (all the singles: Chanhee, Changmin, Sunwoo, Kevin, Juyeon, and Hyunjae) slapped smiles onto their faces. As soon as Sangyeon put the phone down, their smiles dropped.

"Who was that for?" Juyeon asked as he slung an arm around Sangyeon's shoulder to peer at the eldest's phone screen. He made a groaning noise before peeling away. "Ahhhh, 'The Girlfriend'. I see."

Sangyeon cocked a brow at him. "Have you finally accepted that I have a girlfriend?"

"Nope."

Sangyeon's eyes looked up and away in exasperation, before he shook his head and returned to doing whatever he was doing.

Changmin surveyed the crowded quad with disinterest. He scanned all of the faces present around him; too many to count that was for sure. Jacob and JC!Yn had separated from them almost immediately; Eric and his girlfriend were off being cute or something; Younghoon and his partner hadn't even traveled here with most of them; but at least Haknyeon and his significant other stayed with them for the first five minutes to make conversation about the dance showcase a few nights ago.

He sighed. That was how long ago it had been since he last saw you. (My god, he sounded like some kind of lovesick teenager, waiting by the landline for his lover to ring him up—)

On the other side of the quad, you and your friends had just arrived to do the same exact thing Changmin's friends were. But as soon as you saw the crowd, you were five seconds from simply giving up.

"We'd get like, one flower, and that's it," Seungkwan argued to Yeri who was trudging forward despite the load of people around.

Yeri huffed. "Not if you don't try, Boo Seungkwan."

He made a noise of disgruntlement, his head lifting up and nostrils flaring. "Oh my god—"

"Yn, my wife, defend my honor!"

You snapped up straight, tuning back into the conversation. Mark and Jungwoo trailed somewhere behind the three of you and if you weren't careful, you'd lose them, too. "Huh? Oh, well, Seungkwan…" Your voice trailed off, and your eyes wandered to a specific gathering of trees further down the lawn from where you currently were.

It was unfair how he was framed like a K-Drama shot: the slow motion pink petals drifting around him, his lithe body gracefully leaning against the dark bark of the cherry blossom tree, the green sweater vest layered over a white shirt and pants. You gulped—he looked way too pretty to just be standing there—

"—hello? Earth to Yn?" A hand was waving in front of your face and someone was poking your shoulder.

You shook away from them, eyes wide like a child with your hand caught in the cookie jar. "Huh?"

Seungkwan and Yeri sent you curious looks. "You were staring at Changmin," said Yeri, arms crossing over her chest.

Seungkwan let out a dramatically wistful, little sigh as he scratched the side of his head. "You're so lucky that Ten's not here; we are so very merciful compared to him."

You rolled your eyes, even though they were right. "I wasn't staring! I just—I couldn't tell if it was really him or not."

"Because I'm just so breathtakingly beautiful?"

"Definitely n—what the fuck," you yelped, nearly leaping out of your skin again at the right of Changmin's dimpled smile as he seemingly appeared out of thin air right next to you.

Changmin erupted into howling laughter, folding over onto his knees as he slapped his leg once, twice—

"You're not even that funny," you grumbled, side-eyeing both him and your friends. (Guess you really did lose Mark and Jungwoo…)

Seungkwan and Yeri did not hide their own laughs very well, but they definitely weren't knee-slapping themselves.

"How'd you even cover so much ground that fast?" You queried, whirling back on Changmin.

He lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug, his hands resting in the pockets of pants as he stood in a relaxed posture. His skin was unfairly pretty in this lighting, like his smile. "I harnessed my inner squirrel."

"You mean your inner furry?"

Seungkwan and Yeri chose this moment to slip away, calling out something like "we're just gonna go walk a tree" before bowing out. Changmin feigned an expression of offense, pressing a hand to his chest. "Rude! It's called athleticism."

You wrinkled your nose. "Like you know what athleticism is."

"I'll race you to the stairs over there right now—HEY, CHEATER! I DIDN'T SAY GO—" Despite his indignant squawk, Changmin's cheeks hurt from how hard he grinned as he raced after you toward the stairs at the other end of the lawn.

— ✶

"So… no Ten today?"

After a daring race, you and Changmin settled on top of the stairs overlooking the entire lawn. The sun hung at golden hour position and painted the landscape and people below in beautiful, buttery gold wash. You even swore you saw Chanhee chasing after Sunwoo with a handful of loose cherry blossom petals, no doubt to dump into the latter's hair.

You looked over to where Changmin was leaning back onto his palms next to you. "This again?"

He pursed his lips. "Well, I mean," he drawled, "you guys are pretty close. I just figured you'd do this kind of thing together."

"That's fair," you conceded. "Uh, he's actually on a trip with a couple of his frat brothers this week. Something like backpacking in Switzerland."

Changmin gave an indulgent nod of his head. "Wow. Switzerland."

"I know, right?"

He peered out into the distance, eyes squinting against the strength of the sun, but he looked like an art piece nonetheless. “You and Ten aren’t, like, together? Are you?”

You tilted your head to the side. Interesting question. “No, we’re friends. I think in the beginning it might have felt like something on that level, but we’ve both—I think we’re both on the same page where we stand with each other.” You didn’t know why you were telling him so much; he’d only asked you a question. But speaking of being together with someone… You coughed, “Sumin told me what happened during the interview a couple weeks ago.”

Changmin smiled sheepishly, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. “Oh, ha, she did? I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.”

“You really didn’t know?”

“That she liked me? No,” he laughed with a shake of his head. He leaned forward onto his knees then, turning his head to the side to look at you with his fingers laced over his knees. “Who do you take me for, hm? I couldn’t just assume she had a crush on me.”

You feigned a look of disagreement, and he gasped, shoving your upper arm playfully. “I’m not that bad!” He exclaimed.

“You could be that bad,” you teased.

You watched as his expression cooled and the air around the two of you shifted. There was an earnestness in his eyes now, emphasized by the brilliance of the setting sun reflecting across his smooth lines of his face. “Have you ever thought about, you know, like trying to dance again?”

You weren’t sure what prompted this change in subject, but you gave it a thought. “I definitely have,” you said honestly, “I just can’t really step into a practice room without getting nervous.” You picked at a stray thread on your pants as you spoke and felt his gaze on you. “That night—the one when you saw me in front of the performing arts hall really late at night—I was trying to get myself to go in. To at least… try, y’know. Maybe prove to myself that I could work up the courage to go in, but I couldn’t.”

Changmin was quiet for a moment. His knees angled themselves toward you, and he leaned forward so his chest practically laid over his legs. “I said a lot of bad things to you in senior year,” he said lowly. “They were stupid—I was stupid. And—and if your anxiety with practice rooms comes from me, then—”

“Changmin,” you interrupted and captured his attention. You shifted to mimic his body positioning, so your eyes were level and you were both just as small as the other. “I said really shitty things to you, too.”

“I told you that you should quit,” he rasped. He had to turn his head so you wouldn’t see the silver pooling in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Yn; I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it.”

You heard his sniffle over all of the chatter from the lawn below and you moved closer to him until your legs and arms were pressed together. You wrapped an arm around him, only for him to raise himself up and practically drape himself over you, his arms looped around your upper body and his face tucked into the side of your neck. Your heart tripped over itself in surprise, but you let yourself lean into his body heat.

“I’m sorry, too. I know you didn’t mean any of it. I didn’t mean any of what I said either.” You breathed for a moment and sighed, simply allowing him to stay in your arms for however long he needed. “I think,” you started, “even after three years, I still blame myself for letting all of that get to me. Sometimes, I want to go back in time and slap some sense into myself; maybe tell myself that I shouldn’t have let what my mom said bury itself so deep inside me. I mean… where would I be now had I not listened to her?”

Changmin pulled away then, resting his forearms on his legs again, but he didn’t back away from you. “You were just a kid, Yn. You can’t blame yourself.”

You rested your cheek against your fist. “I know. It’s hard not to, though.”

“I know.” He took another look at you, and you felt his eyes really take you in for a moment. The corner of his lips lifted. “Are you happy?”

“With?”

“With how you turned out? Where you ended up?”

You held your breath. It was a good question, and as you turned to search yourself inwardly, you came to a couple of conclusions. “In a way, I am. It’s probably just bitterness and regret I feel when I wonder what could have been, but maybe things happen for a reason.”

He nodded, his hand reaching up to pick out a stray leaf that had fallen into your hair. “We can always make up for lost time now,” he said. “We never did get to finish that duet.”

EPISODE FOURTEEN: [GET] OFF THE GROUND

THE next day, you found yourself standing outside the back door to the performing arts building. Because it was spring break, a large helping of the student population had abandoned campus as soon as their finals were over, leaving the place barren except for the area with the cherry blossoms. You stood next to Changmin, the latter holding his bag by the strap over his shoulder. You had been staring at the door for more than a minute now, trying to slow the palpitations of your heart.

“We can leave whenever you want to,” he murmured to you, the back of his hand nudging yours. “Let’s just try.”

You got yourself to nod.

The hallways were uncharacteristically quiet compared to the previous couple of times you had been back here. Since there was no one else here, you and Changmin got to pick whichever practice room you wanted. The largest one was the winner, and the lights flickered on to wash the shadows away. You immediately moved to one side of the room to set your things down, and Changmin went to his corner by the speaker. He was already hooking up his phone to the aux cord, but kept one eagle-eye on you as you inhaled the sight of the empty room around you.

As usual, your throat began closing in on itself, and you coaxed yourself into taking deep breaths.

You started out on the floor in front of the mirror, your legs crossed over each other and Changmin’s phone in your hands. Changmin had shouldered off his white athletic jacket, and began stretching as you swiped through the selection of music on his phone. The two of you collectively agreed for you to start off just watching. Once you were comfortable in the practice room environment, and if you wanted to dance, you would join him whenever you were ready. If you were never ready, then you could continue to just watch him and cheer him on during the practice.

You watched him card a hand through his hair as he peered at himself in the mirror behind you. “I always thought this mirror made you vain,” you chuckled, your hand having settled into your lap instead of at the base of your throat.

He furrowed his brows at you. His hands rested on his hips, the muscle in his forearms emboldening from the action. “Rude. I think you were the one who made me vain.”

“The fuck? How so?” You challenged.

“You always said you admired my facial expressions and my pretty smile,” he grinned at your reaction, snickering to himself. “Did you pick a song yet?”

You watched him dance. For the first few songs that played on shuffle, he was simply warming up his body and freestyling to whatever he heard. You knew Changmin was no stranger to people watching him dance, but there was something still so intimate about watching him in this space. You could watch him create things like magic, as well as watch him fumble and laugh at his own misgivings. Except, instead of doing it all by himself, his eyes would find yours and smile.

Next quarter, Changmin was supposedly signed on to be a TA for one of the dance courses, so he asked for your opinion on a few of his ideas for choreographies he could teach.

After showing you his second idea, he gestured to you then looked back at himself in the mirror. “What do you think? I’m not sure if writing something for each nuance in the beat would be a bit too much or if it’s something that should be used as a challenge routine.”

You hummed in understanding. “Well, if it’s an intermediate dance course, then I think it could be worked up to. Are these people dance majors or… maybe minoring in dance?”

He nodded when you said the latter. “Supposedly, they aren’t necessarily dance majors. But yeah, I agree—it could probably be brought out later in the quarter instead.” He made a motion with his hand as he backpedaled a couple steps to give himself more room between you and him. “Could you rewind to the first verse again? I wanna see something.”

You obliged him and rewinded the song to his desired timestamp. He tried out another possible set of choreo, but ended up stopping halfway through the chorus.

Again and again, you rewinded the song for him to try something new, but each time, he was met with his own dissatisfaction.

You suddenly stood, setting his phone on the ground with the song having been rewinded just slightly before the intended timestamp. Your hands were shaky and your heart was probably beating at an unhealthy speed, but you needed to try out something.

Changmin’s eyes opened wide as you came to stand next to him, but he said nothing. Instead, he let you loosely show him what you had concocted in your head while watching him go through trial after trial.

Before you knew what was happening, the two of you were weaving your ideas together, taking pieces of his original choreography and amending it with yours. You had watched him from the beginning so many times that you didn’t need long to pick up on the rest. By the end, the two of you had danced the entirety of the song together, your chest rising and falling fast with the speed of your breath.

Changmin released an exclamatory yell, thrusting his fist to the ceiling, then clasping your hand with his. “Let’s go! I really like that, Yn,” he said with his face split by a shit-eating grin.

Your heart was bursting again, not with nerves, but something you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. You brushed the hair from your eyes, a satisfied beam set on your face. “I like it, too.”

There was a sheen akin to pride in his eyes. “I wanna show you something,” he said, walking over to his phone with a skip in his step. “Stay there! I wanna teach you this bit of choreo that’s been living in my head for a while now.”

And so, you followed Changmin’s instructions as he put on a groovy-type beat. The routine was simple enough—looks-wise. But if you knew anything about the things Changmin choreographed, the difficulty was all in the subtlety and technique. When you were younger, the appeal between you and Changmin as partners were that you were practically foils for each other. While Changmin ruled the arena of sharp, focused isolations and movements, your area of expertise laid in bigger, fuller movements like that of a brushstroke. When you had watched Juyeon and Changmin’s performance during the winter showcase, you supposed that was why they were able to complement each other well. It was essentially what you and Changmin were, in combination.

The longer you and Changmin danced, the more your chest filled with air and warmth and love and happiness. The guilt and fear from before had melted away to reveal this suppressed portion of you that had been hidden for a long time.

At some point, the two of you were just messing around, and ended up sprawled on the polished wood floor of the practice room clutching your stomachs while choking on laughter.

Changmin rolled onto his side, eyes still squinted in delight as he tried to get a grip of his breathing. “Is your back okay?” He managed to wheeze between gasps and howls.

You wiped a tear that crept out from your eye. “No! I just tried carrying a fifty-something-kg man on my back. Do you think I’m okay?”

“In my defense,” he said, peering down at you as he rose into a sitting position and leaned back onto his palms, “you claimed you were stronger than me and could be the base.”

“A warning would have been nice!” You exclaimed. You rolled onto your stomach, laying your chin over your arms. “No one in their right mind just jumpscares people like that.”

“Have you met me?”

“Fair enough.”

A remnant of that merriment remained on his lips as he felt around the floor around him for where his phone had fallen out of his pants pocket. He caught a glimpse of the time, sighing, then raking a hand through his hair. “It’s already one o’clock. Are you hungry? Wanna get lunch or something?”

“Sure, what do you feel like?” You asked, eyes following his movements as he clambered up to his feet and tucked his phone back into his pocket.

He pressed his lips together in thought, humming, “Dunno. Fast food maybe?”

You rolled into a sitting position, similar to the one he had been in just moments before. “Okay.”

“Come on; let’s get up then.” He offered a hand out to you, and you clasped his forearm tightly.

In one fell motion, Changmin swept you upright and to your feet—but he used a little too much pulling force, and you were stumbling into him, palms pressed flat against his chest, and his arms coming around your waist. You held your breath as the two of you fought to stabilize the other.

“Shit, sorry about that,” he muttered from above you with a low chuckle.

You opened your mouth to reply, but as you raised your head to meet his eyes and not just his Adam’s apple, you lost all your breath. There was barely a hairsbreadth distance between your face and his. Changmin came to the same determination as you had and his eyes went wide.

A curious thing happened. His pupils dilated, and his eyes darted down to your mouth and his tongue swiped over his own to dampen them.

Your breath as you exhaled was as unsteady as your heart rate.

You felt his hold on your tighten slightly; his Adam’s apple bobbed. And then he was leaning forward, his eyes fluttering closed—

He kissed you then.

His lips were soft over your own with the slightest bit of pressure, nose nudging the side of your cheek.

Your hands moved up the plane of his chest to grasp his toned shoulders; he shifted his left hand to cradle the back of your head.

Wait, what is happening—

You both pulled away, as if the same thought had echoed through both of your heads at the same time.

Panic leapt into the two of you and you jolted away when the distinct sound of Boss by some group called Neo Culture Technology blasted throughout the quiet practice room.

"Fuck," you swore. You glanced back at Changmin and saw the question, the uncertainty, the—you couldn't even tell. Your mind was everywhere and nowhere at once. You could still feel his mouth on yours. "That—that's Doyoung's ringtone. I have to take this."

"Okay," he whispered inaudibly, and you slipped out from his hold.

With your back to him, he rubbed his hands down his face and an indescribable emotion seized his chest. He rubbed a thumb over his lips…

"Doyoung, you need to calm down," you said as Doyoung's voice quite literally rambled at lightspeed into your ear.

You heard your friend take one deep breath, then repeat, "I think one of these final draft files are corrupted. I'm freaking the fuck out right now, and I know you're not out of town, so if you could please—for the sake of my sanity—come to the office and help me!" He was pleading, begging, and Kim Doyoung did not beg. He sounded like one hair-pull from dropping down to his knees.

In any other context, you would have wanted to record this for the history books. Any other context.

Your eyes darted over to Changmin who was still standing in the middle of the room, hands tucked into his pockets, and gaze pinned to you.

You couldn't just—leave? Could you? Not after that—

Then you caught Changmin nodding his head in the direction of the door, his head cocking to the side in silent question. Do you need to go? He mouthed.

You pursed your lips with a reluctant nod. Something's wrong with the paper.

Then go. We'll talk after.

Talk. Yup. You started grabbing your things and you squeezed your phone between your ear and shoulder. "—okay okay, Doyoung. Can you stop wasting your energy for me, and tell me exactly what the screen is telling you?"

You began making your way to the door, but halted in the doorway. You hesitated, turning back to look at Changmin. You really shouldn't leave—but you had to.

"Yn."

You grabbed your phone and pressed the speaker into your shoulder. "Yes?" It sounded breathless.

Desperation gleamed like silver in his eyes. One did not often see that emotion from Ji Changmin. "Don't shut me out."

EPISODE FIFTEEN: OFF THE BOOKS

THE first person that came to mind was Choi Chanhee. "What—"

"I kissed her!" Changmin blurted, hand slapping over his mouth.

"You what?!"

— ✶

You were breathless, brain muddled, a hot mess of a shitshow, when you got to the Daily. The rest of the Board members were on break, including your resident tech expert, so you had assured Doyoung that you were free if he needed anything. (If you weren't deeply regretting that now though.)

You had fast walked all the way from the performing arts center to the Daily's newsroom, effectively cutting travel time down from ten minutes to seven, even with your bag of items. Though, it definitely didn't help your headspace. You could hardly think about Changmin, the kiss, and a corrupted file all at the same time. Not to mention, you finally managed to wrangle Doyoung off the phone with you so he could go splash water on his face to calm the fuck down.

The newsroom was dark when you got there, but you saw the light from Doyoung's office shining down the corridor. He was seated behind his desk, his expression a lot more calm than he sounded from the phone, but his face and bangs were a bit damp, meaning he had actually gone to wash his face. Good.

He saw you trudging down the hall, your baby hairs flying everywhere, and your breath coming out in pants. He noticed the bag slung over your shoulder and had the nerve to ask, "Oh, were you on the way somewhere?"

You sent him a pained stare and collapsed into the chair on the opposite side of his desk.

"You look stressed."

"Changmin and I kissed."

Doyoung's eyes nearly fell out of his head and his body was half an inch from falling out of his chair. "HUH?"

Your head craned back against the back of the chair. "I know."

"Girl, why are you here then?"

"You said it was an emergency!" You cried, straightening. You didn't even acknowledge the fact that Doyoung had just called you "girl". "Now, let's work this file situation out."

Doyoung moved his laptop further away from you. "Oh, nuh-uh, Missy. You're gonna just send me your copy, and then you're gonna go on your merry way back to Mr. Dancer Man and kiss him again."

Your face scrunched up. "Hello?" What was in the sink water in this building…

"Did you talk about it? Are you two dating now?"

"Doyoung," you whined, scrubbing a hand over your face, "you literally called right after we kissed."

Doyoung made a noise of disappointment. "Damn, I'm never gonna live this down."

"Seungkwan's gonna call you a cockblocker for the rest of your life," you muttered in agreement.

He snorted. "You said it, not me." He sobered then, closing the lid of his laptop so he could lace his fingers over it and fix you with a serious expression. "So how do you feel? Tell me what happened."

You twisted and dropped your bag to the ground by your feet, moving your chair closer to the desk so you could drape your upper half on top of the cool surface. "We were dancing—"

"Really?"

"Mhm," you hummed against the table. "It was… it was really nice, Doie. I actually had fun. And then we just—I don't even know—we played around a little and he was helping me up off the ground, and suddenly we were kissing."

Doyoung's brows furrowed together. "Ah, I see. Did he kiss you or did you kiss him?"

"He kissed me, but I didn't stop him." You could recall the look in his eyes with a striking amount of clarity. "I… I don't really know what it all means, or what it means to me. I'm a little confused, if I'm honest."

He sighed. "And that's okay. I think this is something you definitely need to go back and talk to him about though, hm?"

"Yeah."

"But Yn," he continued, reaching over to rub the top of your head and get you to look up, "did you ever have feelings for the guy?"

You slowly raised yourself up from the table with a frown on your face. "When I was a kid, I didn't really see anyone else but him," you confessed, almost unconsciously. You hadn't known what the feeling you harbored for him was back then, but maybe you could seek to understand it now.

Doyoung made a vague gesture with his hand as he sat back in his chair. "Well, that's a start for sure. But you and he have been on rocky terrain for years now. You're not kids anymore and a lot of things have changed." He was right, in some sense. You and Changmin had spent three years convincing yourselves you didn't need each other. Perhaps it had been the opposite the entire time, but what did it all mean?

"I'm glad to have him in my life again," you said quietly. "I think I've always felt… different about Changmin than any other friend I've had before, y'know? It was just unconscious in a way."

"Would you want to act on that then? See where it goes?"

You let his questions resonate around your head for a minute. But the more you thought about it, the more certain you became of your answer.

— ✶

The back corridors of the performing arts hall were just as dark as it was when you had left. For a moment, you were afraid that Changmin had left. But as you neared the practice room from earlier, you could make out the sounds of voices drifting from the cracked open door of the room.

You strained your ears—who was that with Changmin?

You reached the door, quietly pressing yourself against the wall to peer in through the cracked doorway. There, sitting opposite Changmin on the practice room floor, was Chanhee.

"—think about it, Changmin," said Chanhee as he dropped his friend by the shoulders to keep him from sulking. "She kissed you back. Don't you think that means something?"

"She could've just been caught up in the moment," Changmin countered. "She could've—" He made a frustrated noise and threw his hands out in front of him, "Maybe I just don't want to be disappointed."

Chanhee frowned. "Disappointed… that she doesn't return your feelings? Changmin, can you be honest with me for a second?"

He gave a solemn nod.

"Those feelings you had for her when you were a kid—have they ever gone away?"

You had to back away from the door and press your palm against your mouth. But because of that, you weren't able to catch Changmin's answer. Your heart slammed against your ribcage, your hands shaking as your thoughts raced in your head. You had to open the door now. You'd already intruded when you eavesdropped on their conversation.

Sucking in a breath, you pushed the door open wider. No going back now.

Changmin and Chanhee were both frozen in place when you poked your head into the room. The former paled in the warm-toned practice room lights, and you saw him gulp.

"Yn!" Chanhee laughed nervously as he and his friend both scrambled to their feet. His car keys jangled noisily from where they hung on a clip from his belt loop. "Uhm, I think I should leave," he said, clearing his throat and brushing past you.

You grabbed your arm as you shuffled into the room and gently kicked the door closed behind you.

Changmin cupped the back of his neck. "How much did you hear?" He asked, not even bothering to hide the open glisten in his eyes, the pure vulnerability lying stark on his face. It felt like you were seventeen again, standing alone together in the practice room, not really sure what the other person would say or do or feel.

"What did Chanhee mean by you having feelings for me when we were kids?" You asked.

The silence was palpable. "You really didn't know?"

No, you shook your head, definitely not. "I—I mean, no. Not really. I guess I always thought… I don't know what I thought."

He braced both hands behind his head now, his eyes tilted back toward the ceiling. "Yn," he said before looking you in the eyes again, "every time I saw you, I saw someone who put the fucking stars in the sky. If you watch any of our videos from back then—" He pushed out a haggard breath from his mouth. "I could never not care for you, could never stop caring for you. It hurt a lot when we stopped being us because I thought I…"

His hands fell to his sides, helpless. "I thought I lost you. And then it felt like you hated me, so I tried to hate you, too. And then we worked shit out. And then…" Changmin brushed his bangs back and was unable to look you in the eyes for longer than a second with each glance. "I'm sorry I kissed you. I don't want to lose you again, Yn."

Your heart thundered in your ears so loud that you almost thought he could hear it, even from so far away. You got yourself to take a step forward, and then another.

Changmin waited as you walked closer to him, his lips pressed together.

You inhaled. "Changmin, I can't say for sure what I felt for you back then, and I definitely can't articulate my feelings for you as well as you just did—" His eyes clashed with yours, that energy colliding, "—but I'm not sorry you kissed me, or that I kissed you."

You thought you heard his breath hitch for a moment.

"I don't want to lose you again, either," you said and tentatively reached for his hands. Never in your years of knowing him had you known a moment where his fingers trembled like they did now. "And I—I really want to see where this goes. Would you want to see where this goes with me?"

His fingers curled around yours as he nodded. "Yes."

EPISODE SIXTEEN: OFF [MY] FACE

"WHAT about that one?"

"Don't touch that one."

"Will it burn my skin off?" Changmin asked in a sleepy daze as one hand rubbed his eye and the other reached for the gallon of liquid that sat behind a locked cabinet with a clearly marked DO NOT TOUCH. DANGER. plastered on the side.

"Yes," you said without looking up from your organic chemistry textbook.

Changmin's hand dropped immediately and he turned to send a look your way. "Well, that's not very safe."

His hoodie-covered head began bumbling back over to you through the maze of workbenches. It was the first week back to school from spring break, thus, the very first week of the spring quarter. You and Changmin were currently in your regular lab space that you unofficially dubbed your study area. Kun was in the break room probably half asleep over a bag of shrimp chips, and Ten… Ten was somewhere around here. Maybe he got lost down the hallway looking for the bathroom or something.

Changmin had come to hang out with you though, even though he was practically a walking baby giraffe as drowsiness possessed his whole being. But he insisted on staying until you went home.

"It's actually just distilled water," you said with a chuckle. "The lab professors just don't want people using it because for some reason, the convenience stores around here are always out, and they don't want to go hunting for more."

You felt him drape over your back with a fwump. "I love when you talk dirty to me," he said through a rather large yawn.

You grinned to yourself, shaking your head. "Okay, I think we need to get you home."

"Not before you take me to dinner first."

"Are you sure you're not drunk?"

You packed your things up quickly, especially when you saw Changmin nodding off while standing upright. It was already around nine o'clock by the time you said good night to Kun and located Ten (yeah, he'd gone looking for the bathroom and almost gotten locked in a supply closet instead).

Changmin tried to convince you he was okay to drive, but by the way he couldn't even figure out that his keys were hanging on his belt loop, it was safe to say that you were driving tonight. The drive over to Changmin and Chanhee's apartment was an easy one since they lived in the university district and the streets were quite barren at this point. You helped him up to the apartment, greeting Chanhee who was in a fluffy pink robe and matching headband.

"Hi Chanhee," you sighed as you pushed Changmin into the bathroom to shower.

Chanhee looked on in ill-concealed amusement. "He'll be much better after he showers," he reassured you from his perch on the couch. You saw the page-long math problems spread out on the coffee table and held in a gag.

"Dear god, I hope so."

Chanhee directed you to where Changmin's room was and you dumped both yours and his backpacks on the floor by his desk. You actually had yet to step foot in here until now, so while Changmin was doing his thing in the bathroom, you let your eyes roam all around the room. It was relatively clean (emphasis on relatively) with walls that were minimally decorated. There was a whole separate rack of shirts and jackets left outside the small wardrobe, and you recognized a couple of them.

You leaned over his desk to see what he had posted on the wall above it. There were a couple dozen printed photographs of him and his friends, as well as an award or two that were big in name and no doubt special to him. You felt yourself smile; you didn't have to be up here, but you liked seeing his smile in all of these pictures.

And then you saw it.

There was a printed copy of a review pinned amongst the pandemonium of memorabilia. The layout of the page was incredibly familiar, and with widened eyes, you realized that it was a review from the Daily's Opera Glasses.

In fact, as you squinted and skimmed, it was your review from freshman year. It was your (anonymous) review about his debut winter showcase performance.

Wow.

You barely registered Changmin shuffling into the room in slippers and a bathrobe of his own, his dark hair still dripping with water.

He passed you a glance while heading for his wardrobe. "Hey, do you wanna stay over?"

You definitely weren't prepared for that question. "Stay over?" You parroted dumbly. "Also, you have an Opera Glasses review printed out?" Your hand gestured to the sheet of paper pinned to the wall.

Changmin's head turned and he abandoned the wardrobe to walk over to you and his desk. You pressed yourself against the wall to the side to give him space to look. "Ah," he said with a boyish grin, "that was yours, wasn't it?"

"How the hell could you tell?"

He leaned in close to you, bracing an arm above your head. The smell of his shampoo was strong and you came to the realization that he was still in a bathrobe. His tongue darted out to wet his lips. "You don't think I could tell what your writing voice sounded like?" He asked, his voice suddenly lowered.

You inched forward, a dare. "Are you gonna get dressed, Changmin?"

His smile widened. "I could," he teased.

"Hey! Can you guys close the door or keep it down? Some of us are single and have math homework!"

Both you and Changmin laughed at Chanhee's outburst even though your face was definitely heated up.

Changmin took advantage of your unassuming state and pressed his mouth to yours, tasting your laughter on his tongue until you could only taste his in return. It was a dizzying sort of kiss, his arm still above you and his other curled around your waist.

When he pulled away, he bit his lip around a smirk. "I'll get changed now."

Criminal. Absolutely criminal.

He indeed got changed. And so did you. Apparently, he was being serious about you staying the night, and soon enough, you found yourself buried beneath his covers and swept in his very clingy arms. Not that you were complaining; he smelled nice.

You and Changmin laid facing each other in the darkness of his room. Round spectacles sat awkwardly on his nose bridge since the side of his face was pressed against the pillow, but he said he wouldn't take them off until he was just about to drift off.

"Yn-ie."

"Hm?"

He giggled, turning over and reaching over the side of his bed for something. You were about to question what he was doing until he quite literally shoved his wretched Chucky doll into your face.

"What the flying fuck—" You glared at the toy and its creepy stitched face. You had been startled by it, but you had grown used to it after having to deal with his obsession with the damn thing in the last two years of high school.

Changmin hugged the abomination to his chest as he snickered loudly.

"I thought you got rid of that thing."

"You clearly don't know me well enough."

You began to sit up and make a show of throwing off the covers. "I'm leaving—"

"Wait, wait, wait!" He blubbered, grabbing your upper arm and yanking you back down onto the bed next to him.

He leaned over you, his Chucky doll still tucked in the crook of his arm, as Changmin pouted. The glasses were practically sliding off his nose and his hair was sticking up in the back. What a duality. "I don't want you to leave."

"I'm not cuddling with Chucky, Changmin."

"But—"

"I will go ask Chanhee for an extra blanket."

Changmin's pout contorted into a scowl. "I'll murder him."

You wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of this conversation. "I think you need to go to sleep."

He flopped back onto the bed next to you, reluctantly setting Chucky back down on the floor next to the bed where the wretched thing had been hiding this whole time. You suppressed a shiver.

Finally able to breathe easy, you settled back into Changmin's arms. He tucked you against his chest, his chin settled on top of your head. You felt him shift as he took his glasses off and reached behind him to set them on the nightstand.

You were just drifting off to sleep to the melody of his heart beat when: "Yn?"

"Hm?"

His lips pressed to the crown of your head. "I missed you."

You knew what he meant. You pressed a kiss to his chest and heard the shuddering breath that fell from his lips. "I missed you, too."

EPISODE SEVENTEEN (EPILOGUE): [ON OUR TERMS]

THE problem with the restaurant was that it reminded you of something like the word "home". The sign above the door was made with some common font that one could find on Microsoft Word and you were pretty sure they only took cash, too. There was a reason you had chosen this restaurant in particular, and it was because you thought that eating at a place with your comfort foods would, well, comfort you. But you had been staring at the front for a minute or two now, and you weren't sure it was working.

From beside you, you felt someone take your hand in his. "We don't have to go in," said Changmin, his expression blank and reserved as he looked at the eatery, but softened a considerable amount when he looked over at you.

Your mother was waiting for you in there, somewhere. You wanted to finally talk to her—maybe make some peace with yourself. You'd told Changmin about it, and he insisted on coming as moral support.

You squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. "I can't just not go, Changmin."

His touch was gentle as his thumb grazed over the back of your knuckles, just as gentle as his voice was, "You don't owe her anything, Yn. You deserve an apology from her and you deserve closure, but you don't owe her anything. Not after what she put you through."

You were quiet for a moment and your free hand brushed over the hollow of your throat where the tightening sensation was.

Changmin added, "I'll support whatever decision you come to."

You considered the restaurant again. It had always held a great amount of significance and comfort for you. Did you want to ruin that with a potentially sour conversation? For all you knew, this could end incredibly poorly.

But… there were some things that needed to be done.

You steeled your resolve. "Ready?"

Changmin, all dapper in his dress shirt and pants and styled hair, flashed you a dimpled smile. "Whenever you are."

a/n: wow ... anyways lol thanks for getting through that madness, and hope u enjoyed!! pls do consider reblogging, commenting, or sending an ask to my inbox teehee i would really appreciate it ! now, onto hyunjae's ! >:)

permanent taglist: @honeyhuii @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @ethereal-engene @mingiholic @ja4hyvn @vatterie @yogurteume @justalildumpling @hyunjaespresent-deobi @hongyangi @pxppxrminty @nerdypastacalzonespy @jcmdoll @kflixnet

taglist: @oi-miya @loveliestfelix @sickvision @jaerisdiction @stealanity @magnificentjudementmoneyhands @inthesunnn @igotkpoopsss @letsnotdoanything @starryjww @sodafy @rreneeeeee @dajanxekiwi @sseastar-main @jenowithjaem @moonyswolf @sleepymoon27 @floatingpluto @fictionlover100 @winterchimez @softie00 @sseuyeon @qkyuscult @hwanunjin @zlebooks @mcu-incorrect @nctzennikki09 @hrt4cheol @moontyuns @quill-ink

#kflixnet #the boyz x reader #ji changmin x reader #changmin x reader #q x reader #the boyz fanfic #the boyz drabble #the boyz fluff #the boyz oneshot #the boyz angst #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #ji changmin oneshots #ji changmin drabbles #changmin imagines #changmin oneshot #changmin fluff #changmin angst #changmin scenarios

[ggomos-maribat]

The Assistant Poser

For the wonderful @miraculousmelodies

Tim was hanging by a thread. He forgot that his assistant was out for the day, so he had to do the legwork, the coffee-making and work sorting. While Tam did send an email saying she was bringing in a substitute, said substitute hadn't arrived yet, leaving him to deal with the work tornado.

He burst back into his office in fuzzy rabbit slippers, neglecting his misaligned tie and tousled hair that was attacked way too many times by his weaving fingers. The company was having a partner project with a fashion house and a meeting for it was set for that afternoon.

He cursed, remembering that he forgot an important post-it on Tam's desk and hurried back out. At that moment, he saw a short professionally-dressed woman coming towards him.

Tim sighed in relief. "You must be the assistant. Thank god you're here." He shoved the stack papers in her hands. "Have these sorted out A.S.A.P. and please get me a large cup of iced coffee---"

The woman blinked at him. "Wait---"

"Right! My order is a large caramel macchiato with one half soy milk, and one half whole milk, six and one quarter pumps of vanilla, caramel drizzled on top---"

"I don't think you---"

"But no caramel on the sides please. Those are so hard to reach sometimes. Oh, and add five shots of espresso, whipped cream on top and a sprinkle of cinnamon." He paused with a yawn. "Did you get all of that?"

His temporary assistant raised an eyebrow. "A large caramel macchiato with one half soy milk, one half whole milk, six and one quarter pumps of vanilla, caramel drizzled on top but not on the sides, five shots of espresso, whipped cream on top and a sprinkle of cinnamon."

"Also, please go over the files we'll be using for the meeting with Venus Fashions today and check if there's a typo because I cannot afford to embarrass myself and this company in front of their representative." He ushered her out for her to do her work. It was roughly four hours before their scheduled meeting and he still had to change.

Tim slumped on his office chair after he was finally alone. He mentally reminded himself not to work without an assistant ever again.

The woman came back no more than fifteen minutes after. She got his order perfect, down to a tee, and his sleep-deprived self couldn't be any more grateful. "I'm really sorry. I didn't get your name last time." He gave her a small smile.

"Umm . . . Marinette." She plopped down the sorted files on the edge of his desk. "By the way, there is a misspelling on the VF contract. 'Plait' is supposed to be 'plaid'."

"Oh, thanks for catching that. Can you shoot an email to the other staff to have them correct and reprint the documents?"

Marinette examined him for a minute before saying, "Sure thing."

"And errr, from your standpoint, do you think WE's offers are feasible?" Tim ran a hand through his hair for the hundredth time that day. "I'm scared Venus isn't going to accept. They're pretty picky with the companies they partner up with and . . . this is just a personal thing, okay? But I'm a huge fan of their products and scheme so I can't ruin this deal."

Marinette chuckled. "Don't worry. I think the contract will appease them. And this is Wayne Enterprises. Who are they to decline them?"

They went over more files before Marinette went out again to do work of her own. Tim stretched on his chair. She was a literal godsend to him---proficient and detail-oriented as an assistant. Maybe he could consider getting her an official position in WE when Tam comes back.

As his heavy-lidded eyes stared at the screen in front him, his gaze caught the email Tam sent in early that morning.

. . . inform you that I was not able to get you a substitute assistant so you will have to . . .

Not able to get . . . 

Tim practically leapt out of his seat, reading the words over and over again. Fuck! If Tam didn't get an assistant, then who . . .?

He dug into their files for Venus Fashions and prayed. He realized that Marinette's face was extremely familiar and he hoped that the reason why wasn't what he was thinking.

---

Marinette flipped through the pages inside the folder as they waited in the conference room. "Adrien? Do I look like an assistant?"

Adrien pushed his glasses up his nose. "No . . .? You look like the usual. I look more like an assistant." He gave her a pointed look. "But I told you your shoes are weird."

She scoffed, skimming through the contract again. After all those years, fate truly had done a whirlwind on her life. She thought she'd be living her childhood dream as a fashion designer, but instead, she got into modeling---gaining a massive interest in it---and became a shareholder and representative of Venus Fashions.

"Hey, I like my shoes," she retorted.

"Why? What did you do?"

"Me?" She grinned innocently. "I did nothing."

"No you did. I can tell." Adrien clicked his pen repeatedly. "You went to the cafe downstairs, ordered a drink that looked like it could poison you, and I never saw you drink it. And then you disappeared for like, an hour."

"Ehh, I'll tell you about it later."

Her gaze went into the walls of the room. The walls were electronically switched to be transparent at that moment. She could see the CEO Tim Drake visibly freaking out outside, with his employees trying to calm him down. He was dressed more appropriately compared to before, but his dark circles and messy hair stayed the same.

When he opened the door and saw her, he blanched right away.

Adrien stood up. "Mr. Drake. It's a pleasure to meet you." He shook hands with a silently panicking Tim. "Adrien Graham de Vanily. Assistant Representative in Venus Fashions. This is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, our main representative and the project co-leader."

Tim smiled stiffly at her. "Ye---yes. It's nice to meet you both too."

Throughout the meeting, Marinette noticed Tim stammering over his words occasionally and sneaking worried glances at her. Adrien would also side-eye her, but it spoke of confusion and reproach instead.

Monsieur Drake's probably dying to apologize, Marinette thought. Truth be told, she didn't mind that mishap. It was quite amusing.

She sat back and watched Tim accidentally drop his laser pointer while the other WE staff stared helplessly. Her fingers drummed on top of her lap. I think I'll be looking forward to this project. 

Permanent Taglist: @the-coffee-fandom @tinybrie On AO3

#timari #timinette #maribat #maribat fanfic #maribat fic #meet cute #dc x mlb #mlb x dc #maribat marinette dupain cheng #dc x miraculous #duckie deserves the entire world!

[artficlly]

lady of the ghosts [chapter one]

After a great plague ravages your city, you are looking to marry to secure safety for your people. With a war finally ending, the nearby kingdoms are looking to celebrate. King James "Bucky" Barnes decides to continue his family's tradition of hosting a courting season. A medieval courting marvel AU.

Pairing: king!bucky x lady!reader

Warnings: mention of disease, mention of war, sexism, mention of blood

Word Count: 6.6k

A/N: ikik i should just be focusing on doing one series at a time, but god do i love a good medieval style courting au!! i don't know if this will have fantasy elements in it - it def could i am just hesitant! let me know what you think <3 not proof read - srry for typos.

chapter masterlist | main masterlist

Faliene, the city of The Stormfall Mountains, had once been a rich seaport. Before misfortune struck, it had been a great, bustling city, full of life, culture, and riches. The men of Faliene were seafarers, importing and exporting goods throughout the continents. Their families worked the land, raised livestock in the mountains, or sold the goods they produced. The streets had been lined with markets, taverns, and exotic dealers from across the known land. The deeper you moved within its walls, the more the city expanded into a dizzying mass of houses stacked atop each other, banners and flags adorning the alleys. It was said that one could live their entire life and not know every corner of Faliene, never eat at every food stall, or buy from every shop before a new one emerged. At its center stood Fort Faliene, the home of the Lord and Lady of Faliene. The fortress was surrounded by large cobblestone walls and was guarded by two towers that looked out over the port and the surrounding land. It had been the biggest port city on the Northern Continent. The pride and joy of the Kingdom of Haiford. 

But time had not been kind to Faliene. 

War ravaged the Northern Continent, kingdom against kingdom. New ports were built further south. The mainlanders had grown tired of navigating the icy seas and mountains that surrounded Faliene. Only the men of Faliene truly understood how to navigate its icy conditions, leaving the mainlanders fearful that the burly northern men would threaten their jobs. Slowly, Faliene turned from a haven for traders and seafarers to a ghost town. Some seafarers remained, bracing the freezing seas to fish and cart goods down to the Southern Coast. Others turned to farming, though the frozen Stormfall Mountains were a cruel mistress to their inhabitants. Crops failed to grow as the freezing winters returned stronger and more merciless than the last. The city was full of ghosts, and in that far north, the people were highly superstitious. The Lord and Lady were unprepared for the famine and poverty that followed Faliene’s fall. Some said the city had a curse upon it, doomed to fail since its conception. They whispered that greed had overtaken the once bustling city, finally bringing her to her knees as she rotted from the inside. The people of Failene were proud; they held on for generations, peddling fish and livestock. Faliene was their home; they would not give up on her so easily. Regardless of their noble intentions, even the strongest of Faliene did not anticipate the plague. Nor did they survive it. 

Faliene, the City of Ghosts. How you yearned for her cold embrace once more. 

The dining hall was stiflingly hot. No matter how long you had lived in the capital, you had never adjusted to the mainland heat. You knew many of the men would protest that, saying that Haiford was one of the colder kingdoms. Haiford was tucked deep into the north; it was the closest neighbor of Faliene. Further north, past Faliene, there was only an ocean of frozen water and death. You were used to the frigid winds that blew from the Northern Ocean and the thick snow that fell from the Stormfall Mountains. You were glad you had opted for a lighter dress, with rich blue silk pooling across your skin. The waist was pulled in by an outer corset made of leather, adorned with silver eyelets and black lacing. The neckline cut deep to reveal some cleavage, and the sleeves long and cuffed at the wrist. Most of the women of the court wore high-neck gowns made from velvet and light, high-quality wool. You didn’t know if you could bear the feeling of lace constricting your throat at that moment. 

Regardless of the current courtly fashion, you wore your family colors. Blue, black, and silver. It was the subject of much contempt from your fellow ladies, who opted for the royal family's colors: red, yellow, and gold. You never had much of a love for red; you always dressed like a stormy ocean or a snowy mountain range. The women despised your silver earrings, necklaces, and rings. They said it was a metal for the commoner and that gold was the trend in court. You didn’t care. Your mother had always dressed in blue, even after the wedding. King Harrison had never commented on it, at least not publicly. 

Your mother had been Lady of Faliene. You had spent half your childhood alongside her and your father in your beloved homeland. When a plague had swept the city, claiming half the population along with your father? You and your mother had been forced to flee inland to the capital, and Haiford Court promised protection. The King of Haiford had recently lost his wife and agreed to marry your mother. The two of you would not have to return to your ghost town, instead enjoying the privilege of court and the advantages it brought. Your mother had wanted to find you a suitable husband and secure you a position now that your father was dead. You were the sole heir of Faliene, and unfortunately, you were a woman. You had no claim over any money or men without a husband. Any trades you tried to make on behalf of your people would be laughed at; a lone woman was not allowed to hold power. If you had been a man, you would have been able to claim Faliene and try to save her. But as a woman, you had one duty: to produce heirs. One of the condition’s for your Mother’s marriage was that she gave King Harrison another heir. King Harrison had two children: his son Micheal and his daughter Peggy. Princess Peggy would never be allowed to rule, being a woman like yourself. King Harrison wanted another boy to act as a spare and backup heir if Micheal was compromised. 

Your mother never delivered on her end of the deal. She grew sick – deathly so – shortly after arriving in Haiford. She had been bedridden for the past few years, in and out of fever and delirium. King Harrison allowed you to stay in the capital as long as your mother stayed alive. It was an agreement that you would find a sensible husband, one with land and a suitable title. Only your husband would be able to access your dowry or any funds left in the Faliene accounts. Only your husband would be able to save Faliene; Haiford law forbade women from being involved in politics beyond being a piece of livestock to trade and breed. You would be married; you would pretend to love your husband, smile along in public, and provide him with children, whom you would also pretend to love. Then you would die. You were the Lady of the Ghosts, a Lady of Nothing. King Harrison did not wish to save your beloved Faliene. If there were no Lords and Ladies suitable to oversee the now-small city, it would slowly die out. That way, he would no longer have to worry about the city, as there would only be ghosts left to rule. 

Slowly, you lift your glass of wine to your lips. Taking a sip, you observe the chaos. You are seated at the head of the hall, along with the royal family, the other lords and ladies, and a few of the knights. Below you, several long tables stretch out, seating hundreds of men and women. The men are rowdy, shouting and laughing as they celebrate. You can’t blame them; a war had ended. 

For the past three years, war has raged on the Kingdom’s borders. The neighboring Kingdom of Galanta had fallen under attack by their Southern neighbors, the Realm of Hydrina. Haiford had come to Galanta’s aid throughout the three years. The King and Queen of Galanta had died during the war. It left their heir, Prince James, to inherit not only a kingdom but a war. You knew the aide was only there for political reasons. Galanta was a rich Kingdom, with soil rich for farming, mines full of ores, and a traders haven. The word among the women was that King Harrison was aiming to have Princess Peggy married to King James. It made sense to join the two families; King James would need a wife to solidify his rule with heirs, as well as being in debt to Haiford for their help during the war. 

You understood the moves and countermoves of court politics. You had to in order to survive. The women of the court didn’t enjoy your presence; you didn’t have the privilege of being an official member of the royal family like your mother. They actively looked for ways to shun you and have you sent away from the castle. You always had to be two steps ahead. You viewed life like a chess board, always anticipating your opponent's next move. You spent hours reading, educating yourself in history, politics, battle, language, and more. The most powerful weapon a woman had was not only her body but also her mind and tongue. 

Your attention was briefly pulled to some of the nearby knights drunkenly laughing. Being a lower-ranked lady, you had been placed next to the knights at the dining table. Next to you was Steve Rogers, Knight of Galanta. His father was a high-ranking Lord in Galanta. Steve, being the youngest of seven brothers, had no possibility of inheriting his father’s fortune or land. So, at a young age, he became a squire and eventually trained to become a Knight of Galanta. He had eventually become one of the highest-ranking Knights of Galanta and one of King James’ most trusted advisors. During the war, he had been positioned to help Prince Micheal with the Haiford armies. You had grown to like his presence; it was a shame that he would soon depart for Galanta along with his men. 

The first time you spoke to Steve, it was in the royal library. You had a habit of sneaking into the library at night. At home in Faliene, you had run rampant and wild in your father’s study; he had encouraged your curious mind. You would read, play chess, and discuss unladylike topics such as politics and war. You had continued your curiosities in Haiford, just under the cover of darkness. When the war had begun, you had not anticipated Steve and his fellow knights using the library as a space to discuss battle plans. 

That night, you had snuck in to collect some volumes on The Crimson Crusade. Steve had spotted you flitting through the shelves, books in hand, and called you over. You were both so much younger then. He had been handsome with a boyish charm back then; the muscled blond heartthrob from Galanta had all the ladies maids swooning.  

“Why would a Lady like yourself find interest in The Crimson Crusade?” Steve had asked, noting the books in your grasp. His fellow Knights had snickered under their breath, like they were encouraging Steve to mock you. Back then, you had assumed Steve was just another peacock knight. You had seen the way he showed off in the courtyard, cutting down the men during training while the women watched with squeals of delight. You had watched how he would parade around, smirking at the women and kissing their knuckles with a bow of his head. Due to that, you didn’t flush in embarrassment. Instead, you held his gaze with an impudent smile. 

“My grandfather helped lead the Siege of Nelley Stronghold.” You had explained, your voice steady and cool. “It is important to understand history to ensure it doesn't repeat itself.” Your gaze had followed over to the map they had laid out across the table, your eyes flickering between the small figurines representing the different armies. 

The men were silent, but when your eyes had returned to Steve, you had found he was grinning at you. 

“You find analyzing battle strategy a hobby? Women such as yourself are supposed to find entertainment in menial tasks such as embroidery or gossip.” One of the Knights had spoken up with a mocking laugh, looking between his peers, who also laughed. Steve hadn’t laughed; instead, he was watching to see how you handled the comment. 

“How ironic that you mock women for their menial tasks yet deny their interest in a proper education? An uneducated woman is too easy and weak for your respect, but you are obviously intimidated by the prospect of a woman who is more intelligent than you.” You had replied, armed with a sickly sweet smile. Steve had held his breath, watching as you stepped closer to the table. The men had been stunned into silence, watching as you tilted your head at the map to analyze the proposed plan of attack. 

Your hands had been unshaking as you reached out, moving a handful of figurines from one location to another. Half of the figurines had been shaped as snakes – the armies of Hydrina. The other half were the armies of Haiford, represented by a wolf. 

“It is the wet season.” You had stated as you shifted the figurines. “Even if you have stronger numbers, fighting on the Fell Field would be unwise. It is a marshland, and the armies of Hydrina will have the upper hand as they are used to such conditions. You have to remember that you are fighting with Haiford men, not Galantians. Haiford men are used to snow, not marsh. Hiwold Expanse has solid land, there you would have the upper hand.” 

The men looked to Steve as he had nodded with an impressed smile. It seemed they had respect for the man, not questioning his judgment. You had watched as Steve’s calloused fingers danced over the hilt of his sword as if in thought. 

“How did you know this? Have you traveled that land before?” Steve had asked you. His question had been genuine, not mocking. He had been interested in discovering how you knew that because he knew you were entirely right. 

“The Battle of the Dark Marsh,” You had explained. “Similar circumstances. Haiford had more men, yet they were slaughtered. They were a force through snow and ice, but not marshland.”

“Understand history, so you do not repeat it.” Steve had quoted you with a smile. 

That night had entirely changed your perspective on Steve. Unlike some of his men, he was kind and considerate. He enjoyed listening to your opinions and navigating the years of knowledge you had stored away in your mind. Often, he had requested your help with battle strategy, commenting on your adeptness on the subject. 

Holding your tongue between your teeth, you suppress a small laugh as you hear Prince Micheal boasting about his efforts in the war. You had heard him spew the same story, adding more extreme and near-impossible details each time he told it. It had developed from him slaying one rogue soldier to slaying half an army with only his sword and wit. The ladies of court lapped it up, giggling and batting their eyelashes. They knew he was lying; they just knew how to play the game. 

“Do tell me what you find so amusing, Lady Y/N?” Steve asks from beside you.

“I fear I shouldn’t say, Sir Rogers.” You reply, delicately placing your glass of wine back on the table. Steve’s eyes watch the action, a small smile playing across his lips. The two of you had… become friends. As scandalous as that was. 

“Go on,” Steve encourages you. You don’t look him in the eye, instead twisting one of the silver rings around your finger. In your time as friends with Steve, he often encouraged you to be rather loose-lipped. You knew it was a mistake to air out your true opinions when he could betray you at any moment. Some things you kept close to your heart, but still, the two of you spoke ill of many people in the court. You knew Steve realistically wouldn’t turn on you, but you were still wary in public. 

“I just find it rather entertaining how Prince Micheal brags about his contributions to the war. We all know that he spent more time bedding every woman in sight than actually going to battle.” You mutter quietly in Steve’s direction. A nearby knight, Sam Wilson, also of Galanta, chokes on his wine as he overhears your snide comment. Steve only belts out a laugh, thumping his hand against his chest as he leans back into his chair. All you can do is smile innocently. 

“You know, Bucky – sorry, James – said something similar.” Steve says once he has recovered. Sam is still coughing, gaining some looks from nearby lords and ladies. Bucky. You had heard Steve refer to King James as that before; it was a nickname or pet name of sorts. You had learned the two of them had grown up together in a sense, with Steve’s lord father having been close with the late King and Queen of Galanta. The two of them must have been close friends for him to have such a casual relationship with the new King of Galanta. He always accidentally referred to him as Bucky. Never James, or even Jamie. You wondered where the name came from – why Bucky? Was Bucky different from James? Was James the serious one who played king, while Bucky was the childhood friend who trained in the mud alongside Steve? 

“Is that so?” You reply, eyeing Sam with slight concern. “Please do not choke to death, Sir Wilson. You’re already causing quite the scene, I can’t imagine a corpse at the dining table would help the situation.” 

Steve grins at that, pouring Sam some more wine to wash down the coughing. Even without turning, you can feel the gazes of others at the table watching. They wouldn't have been able to hear the conversation you were having, but they had certainly observed the aftermath. You could already imagine Prince Micheal’s grating voice commenting on the situation. King Harrison had made it clear that he wasn’t particularly pleased about you keeping company with knights in your spare time. 

“Will you be attending The Galanta Season? James wants to host and continue the tradition now that the war is over.” Steve asks. You stab a piece of potato with a long sigh, popping it into your mouth. 

The Galanta Season was all the ladies of court spoke about these days. Now that the war was over, there was an expectation that King James would hold a grand season to make up for the years lost. The Galanta Season was a match-making event, pairing lords, ladies, princes, and princesses from across the continent for marriage. If anything, you thought the event was a glorified excuse to party and drink. The festivities ran for a month – sometimes longer – including dances, feasts, promenades, and a variety of other events. Though most marriages were arranged or premeditated, the Season allowed couples to get to know each other before saying their vows. 

“I suppose I should, if I am invited.” You reply. You knew you would be. Probably every eligible man on the continent knew you were on the hunt for a husband, which is why most of them steered clear. No one wanted to inherit the disaster that was Faliene. Or if they did show interest, it was only in having you for breeding purposes. They would ignore Faliene and let it die out naturally.

As much as you wished you could enjoy the prospect of drinking and partying in Galanta, you knew that your fate probably lay with an old man who was slowly wasting away. Old men were able to look past the reputation that surrounded you, they had different intentions than the younger, eligible men. The old men wanted you to provide more heirs. Younger men wanted bragging rights. You had heard those younger men gossip once, muttering about how you were ‘such a great beauty; what a shame about her situation’ and ‘how it would feel to bed Lady Y/N’. You didn’t know who was the worst pick: the corpse of an old man or a young, handsome man with the personality of a pig. 

“You will be invited. I heard you’re in the market for a husband now that the war has passed and all the men have returned home.” Steve comments, taking a sip of his wine. You hold your tongue at the ‘I heard’. You wondered what other things Steve heard about you or said about you. You could only hope that he wasn't a pig like the other men. You doubted he was, but you had to be wary. Court was a strange place; you never truly knew anyone. 

“It appears so.” You hum bitterly, trying to appear indifferent. Your appetite has suddenly disappeared, and the meat and potatoes in front of you appear unappealing. 

“You know, James is on the hunt for a wife.” Steve murmurs to you, leaning closer so only you can hear. You whip your head around, giving him a bewildered look. If he had said this to any other lady, you wouldn’t have thought twice. It would’ve been a subtle way to indicate James’ interest in Princess Peggy. The way Steve said it, to you of all people. You know what he is implying. 

“Don’t be cruel.” You whisper back to him. Your faces are close, at an unseemly distance. You are glad for the chaos in the hall suddenly and hope that no one is watching too closely. Most of the men are either focused on their food or the dancing that has sprung up between the tables. 

“You didn’t hear this from me, but I don’t think Princess Peggy is quite the woman he is looking for.” Steve hums before finally resting back in his seat with a smug look. You don’t dare ask what kind of woman King James is looking for. 

It seemed that Steve had quickly taken to the idea that he was an older brother of sorts. You had never commented on it. Steve was aware of your mission to save Faliene, though sometimes you found his interference overbearing. In that moment, you knew he had good intentions – that he wanted you to marry someone who he knew was kind and who he knew you would be happy with. But pushing ridiculous notions about you and James? That is where you drew the line. You had to be realistic about your position. 

“You have become far too comfortable around me, Sir Rogers. I should take my leave before you convert me to your wickedness.” You say, hoping to shut down the conversation. Pushing your seat out as you go to stand. Steve follows your actions, hand-resting your arm to guide you down to the lower level. You can see Prince Micheal watching this with a smug smirk on his face. You already know you’re going to get an earful about this later. 

“Oh, I think you are already fairly wicked.” Steve chuckles into your ear, pausing on the edge of the dance floor. “Dare to take a dance with me?”

Your eyes flicker over to Prince Micheal, who is muttering away to King Harrison. Any other day, you might have denied Steve on the idea that it could be perceived as improper. Today, you would take the risk. Steve was leaving for Galanta, and he had been a good friend to you these past few years. The least you could do was enjoy a final moment together. 

“I suppose.” You reply with a smile, allowing him to take your hand and lead you onto the dance floor. 

You note how a few of the other Knights of Galanta smile among themselves, a stark difference from Prince Micheal who is now scowling. Steve’s hand rests gently on your waist, pulling you closer. You keep your gaze and breath steady as you place your hand on his shoulder, the fabric of his tunic rough on your smooth skin. Your other hand is interlinked with his as he guides you into the crowd of dancers, slowly spiraling away to the music. 

“If you plan to marry this season, whose attention are you hoping to catch?” Steve asks, his breath tickling your neck. You keep your gaze steady, tilting your head in thought. You knew Steve meant well by continuing to press on the topic. He didn’t know that you were exhausted on the topic and that it was all you thought about these days. These were questions the two of you had avoided for the past few years. All your discussions had been about the war or life before the war. Both of you had never dared to think about the future, let alone discuss your plans to marry. He knew you were smart, but even the smartest of women couldn’t be saved from the evil intentions of men. 

“King Harrison hopes to introduce me to Lord Rumlow.” You sigh reluctantly, already anticipating his reaction. If Steve meant to step into the shoes of a brotherly role, you knew he would not find Lord Rumlow acceptable. 

“What? That snake? That’s absurd.” Steve growled, his eyebrows pulled into a scowl. 

The proposition of you marrying Lord Rumlow was a laughable one. He was above your station, a man of riches and land. If it hadn’t been for the war, he would’ve had his pick of the litter within the court. Rumlow had messed up, meaning his courting opportunities only lay with the lower-ranking women or the disgraced ones like yourself. During the war, he had sided with Hydrina. You didn’t know the full details; there were mutterings of Rumlow having conflict with his blood ties to Hydrina. By the time he had chosen to switch sides to support Galanta, his reputation had been ruined. King James had pardoned him due to his loyalty in the final months of the war, but his name would be forever tarnished. It seemed only natural that society would want to pair the Lady of the Ghosts with the Lord of the Snakes.

“I don’t have much choice in the matter, unfortunately.” You reply with a sigh, offering Steve a bittersweet smile. As the music flared, you slowly spun out along with the other ladies, skirts swirling around you. Steve’s touch was gentle as he guided you back into your steps. 

“I’m sure your situation isn’t so dire that you have to lower yourself to the level of Lord Rumlow?” Steve asked, his tone was resentful. As much as you liked Steve, you noticed he could be completely clueless about your situation as a woman. Especially when his emotions about other people got in the way. 

“I don’t expect you to understand.” You sigh. “I know it is different in Galanta. It is against the law for me to run Faliene, as I am not married or widowed. Most men won’t touch me due to the situation in Faliene. They fear it will ruin their reputation. I must marry for security, no matter who it is. If such a marriage will bring help to the people of Faliene, then that is all I need.”  

“Rumlow offered to secure Faliene?” Steve asked, surprise laced in his voice. You bite the inside of your cheek, your eyes flickering down in embarrassment. 

“No. I was going to propose the idea.” You admit as Steve shakes his head. 

“He’ll never take it. Forgive me, but considering your position, he’ll consider marrying you as a mercy. Asking him to interfere with the situation in Faliene will end in disaster.” He says, slowly guiding you from the crowd on the dance floor as the song draws to an end. His hand slips from your waist as you clear your throat, hyper-aware of the royals scowling at the two of you. 

“I fear you are correct, but all I can do is try. If not with Rumlow, then another lord.” You say, withdrawing your hand from his shoulder as you step away. 

“I have every faith that you will succeed.” Steve hums with a smile. “I return to Galanta tomorrow. We will see each other again for the Season, but allow me to thank you for your company these past years.”

“Why, was the royal court too dull for your taste?” You tease. You know you should move on and stop talking to him with so many eyes on you. But you can’t help yourself. If the war had taught you anything, it was that you were lonely. Especially with your mother being sick and all your childhood friends either dead or remaining in Faliene. 

“Dull definitely seems like the correct word to describe Haiford Court. Especially if you had not been here.” 

“Careful, Sir Rogers.” You warn, although you are smiling. 

“Apologies, but I hope you know I am telling the truth.” Steve chuckles with his own smile. 

“I should bid you goodnight before the ladies of court conjure up any more scandalous rumors.” You could already imagine the muttering that would ensue at afternoon tea tomorrow, that you had distracted Steve from the women who were actually suitable for him. There had been plenty of ladies who had eyed him over the years. You had watched them flutter their eyelashes while watching him train with his men in the courtyard. While most of the higher-born ladies stuck to Prince Micheal’s side, the ladies in waiting and other head maids had swooned over the Knights of Galanta. 

“Of course, farewell, Lady Y/N.” Steve takes your hand, raising your knuckles to his lips in a quick kiss. You try to keep your face neutral as he bows, offering him a small nod before you escape the dining hall for the night. You needed to visit your mother before you slept. 

—

They called your mother’s sickness Delirium. 

At first, they had worried that your mother had brought the plague to Haiford when she grew sick, but the symptoms were different. The plague had started as a small fever, which then quickly spiraled into violent vomiting until the victim could no longer keep down food or water. The victim would slip away, an empty husk of themselves. No matter all the cures tried, rituals performed, and prayers said, no one survived. They would go from a picture of health to a corpse within a matter of days. It was sudden and brutal. You didn’t know if you preferred it that way. You didn’t know if watching your mother slowly waste away the past few years was worse. In some ways, it would be a relief to see the end of her suffering. It would be hard to mourn, as it felt as if you already had. Delirium was cruel, worse than the plague that had taken Faliene. Delirium taunted its victims, infecting their minds until their thoughts were crazed and jumbled. It was a disease that stripped a person of all their dignity; they were dead long before they took their last breath. If anything, death was a mercy. 

Delirium started with forgetting things like names, birthdays, or getting lost in their own home. The symptoms were slow-moving, like a deadly, invisible poison. By the time it was recognized, it was too late. Your mother had forgotten your name and your face years ago. Still, you visited her every night. You watched as the seizures shook her body, with her ladies having to hold her down to stop her from hurting herself. You watched as she sweated through relentless fevers, fearing that she would slip away in the night. The disease was relentless, yet it would not let her escape from its grasp. Tormented by nightmares and fear, your mother would scream and weep all through the night. She would treat you as a stranger, threaten you, and throw things across the room. Yet still, you tried. You would read to her, brush her hair, and stroke her back as she sobbed. 

“Lady Y/N,” A voice called, drawing you from your thoughts. You stood outside the doors of your mother's chambers, your chest heaving with every breath. You didn’t get startled easily, no, not anymore. It was, however, too distressing for you to witness hearing your mother scream and shout as she was restrained by her ladies maids and the healers. It shook you to your core, a feeling of restlessness settling over your body as you held in hysteria.

“Your Majesty,” You gasp out, now realizing King Harrison stood across from you. One of the healers must have informed him, or maybe he had heard the screaming. His chamber was not too far from your mother's. They slept separately, for obvious reasons. Despite your mother’s marriage to him being a loveless, political action, King Harrison did seem to care. You had witnessed him visiting her from time to time. He had been so deeply broken by the death of his first wife, much like your mother had been over your father’s death. You wonder if the two of them had bonded over the tragedy in the short time they had together. Had King Harrison been relieved that she had become sick before he truly got to know her? Or had he been upset that he was left with a wife who could not bear him an heir and now had to handle her outspoken daughter? You would never know.

You move to curtsy for him, but he waves you off with the flick of his hand. Your teeth find the tip of your tongue as you try to hold back your surprise. Even if King Harrison cared for some of those around him, he had never particularly cared for you. You had never held it against him or expected it of him. Even if you were his daughter-in-law, he treated you as just another lady in his court. He had let you run wild throughout your teenage years and run circles around the Knights of Galanta, but it seemed that the fun was over. It had only been a few weeks since he announced he expected you to find a husband and leave the castle. You were of age; it made sense. The only ties you had left here was your mother, and she was only holding together by a thread. 

King Harrison had been open about his disinterest in helping Faliene beyond what he had already done. He had never offered to send money or men after your mother grew too sick to ask. No, the way he would help would be by blessing your marriage to the nearest lord who would take you. A part of you despised him for it. Rather than face his failures before the people of Faliene, he would bury them. It wasn’t unknown to you that the people of Haiford Court hoped you would settle down once you were married. You were outspoken and too intelligent for your own good. 

“Do not trouble yourself.” King Harrison sighs. Reaching into his coat, he hands you a small silken handkerchief. “For your face.” He explains. 

You gulp, trying not to flush in embarrassment. Your mother, before her episode, had kindly coughed blood all over your face and dress. In your panic, you had completely forgotten to wipe it from your skin. You utter a quiet ‘thank you’ as you wipe some of the blood from your face, though some of it has already dried and crusted. You would have to return to your chambers and scrub it off with a wet cloth. 

“The healers say the blood is the last stage of Delirium.” King Harrison muses as you busy yourself with the handkerchief. “They do not expect her to make it through the winter.” 

There is a long pause as you ball the handkerchief up in your fist with a small sigh. You don’t know how to respond; instead, instead nodding wordlessly. His mustache twitches slightly, like he’s anticipating that you would explode into tears. You felt beyond mourning at this point; rather, you felt that you were staring your own death in the face. 

“You must marry soon, once she passes, you won’t be able to remain at court.” The King reminds you. It was cruel; it truly was. You roll your tongue over your bottom lip in thought. You were well-known for making snide remarks and hidden insults without a care. You couldn’t let that beast take over in front of King Harrison. He could easily have your head. 

“Yes. Of course. I am grateful that you are able to introduce me to Lord Rumlow.” You say, forcing yourself to smile at the man. Inside, you did not feel happy; you felt absolutely powerless.

“I have been in communication with a few more Lords who are… sympathetic to your situation. Provided The Galanta Season goes well, you should be married by spring.” King Harrison continues, and you try to stay present and ignore the dread creeping in your stomach. Sympathetic.

You had done the math quickly years ago, looking at all of the available men in Haiford. Any man who would dare offer to help Faliene were either already married or would be uninterested in you. The war had been a distraction from your impending doom, in the hope that maybe some new, gallant men might be awarded lordships for their efforts. It had proven to be wishful thinking. The reality was that no one cared. You could either marry to secure yourself or return to Faliene penniless and waste away with the last of your people, unable to properly help them due to your gender. 

“Thank you for all your help and hospitality, Your Majesty.” You say, trying to keep the bitterness from your tone. 

“Of course. I only warn you that during the season you should keep your distance from Sir Rogers. I am aware you two are… acquaintances of a type. I would hate for the Lords asking for your hand to get the wrong impression.” The King’s words feel like a punch to the gut. You know what he is implying. He was implying that Steve was not a suitable match, not because he did not meet your qualifications of having money and land, but because you were too lowly for him. King Harrison did not believe a gallant knight such as Steve deserved to be rewarded with a wife such as yourself. The other lords think the same. They would see you interact with him and assume you were some kind of fling or mistress – a tainted woman. If you thought your options were low now, the implications that you weren’t a virgin would make them even lower. 

“I understand.” You say, defeatedly. 

“I am glad you understand. I expect Sir Rogers will understand as well. It is a shame, your situation. The two of you would have made a handsome couple.” King Harrison is either completely aware of his cruelty or completely oblivious. You can’t tell. Either way, the comment leaves you winded. Maybe you do despise him, despite all he has done for you. His face is neutral as he steps towards the ajar doors in your mother's chambers. Your mother has settled now; the screaming has turned to soft wailing and sobs. 

“I feel it is best I do not dwell on such thoughts, Your Majesty. I understand my position.” You choke out, trying to keep your voice impartial despite the resentment stinging on your tongue. 

“You are a smart woman, Lady Y/N. You will do well if you are also agreeable. I shall bid you goodnight now.” King Harrison says with a smile, pushing open the doors to walk through. You hold your face still, not reacting to the obvious insult. You will do well if you are also agreeable. 

“Yes, thank you again. Goodnight, Your Majesty.” You mutter as he slips into your mother’s chambers. You quickly leave, heading to your own rooms, before you consider becoming disagreeable.

chapter two

#bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky x you #beefy bucky #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #james bucky barnes #marvel au #marvel fic #mcu fic #my fic #marvel #medieval au #royalty au #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes x female reader #lady of the ghosts

[the-ghost-king]

I spent about two hours on this over the past couple of days in total, and I'm sure I've missed a few things and I guarantee that some of my opinions will not be shared by others and that's okay. I'm comfortable with people adding on their own thoughts and feelings and continuing on a conversation if they wish to.

Before I truly begin: this book isn't bad, that doesn't mean it's good it just means it's not bad. I think this book is both wonderful and awful, this book is both exactly what I expected and unlike anything I could have come up with. I will also clarify before you read this that I have never personally enjoyed any of Oshiro's work I've read, if you're someone who enjoys Oshiro's body of work there may be many places you disagree with me and I would like to note that ahead of time. I would also like to note that these are simply my initial thoughts, I finished TSATS two days ago and I have done some thinking and pondering over it since and these are the conclusions I have reached in that time. I cannot say how much of this I will agree with in a week, or a month, let alone three, or a year. I considered writing an essay and then decided a bullet point list would be sufficient, there is no order to these bullet points and some conversation points move in a circular way, I did not proofread this either. Also be aware there will be spoilers. Without further ado, my thoughts:

- Hades is weirdly ooc plus having him be responsible for this and him knowingly harming Nico and Nico just being like "oh ok i understand" undoes so much of the relationship progression from Pjo to BoO to ToA to here!!! Hades is still a god yes but he was becoming something of a father figure to Nico as well again and he just throws that all away because Nyx and Bob were "being annoying" and Nico is just… fine with that??? And they just jokingly brush the whole Hades loved more Bianca thing under the rug WITH MARIA RIGHT THERE

- Why are we reintroduced to Persephone like she's a new character? Sure it's from Will's pov and they've never met but the readers have met Persephone multiple times before!! It was weird to reintroduce her!!

- Worst editor ever, a few typos and apparently some copies have Nico saying his mother is Bianca? He also calls his mom Maria instead of mom or mamma? And we've only ever heard nico call maria mamma before this point so him calling her mom is less weird than him calling her Maria but still off

- Will… still doesn't have a personality entirely and what personality he was given does not match the personality he has in ToA OR in BoO??

- Once again, I don't like Oshiro's pacing and you can tell how hands off Rick was with the whole thing - I've never personally been a fan of Oshiro's work and one of my top reasons has always been their terrible pacing. I will read a phenomenal paragraph and then spend the rest of the chapter struggling to find anything that feels worth my time, and while i felt within chapter there was a fair bit of consistency between different chapters there was not- i would read one chapter that read well and felt amazing and then the next 3 chapters would feel like useless side plot that served no purpose. Oshiro also really struggles to maintain tempo in their work imo.

- Characters defining their sexuality in explicit terminology or labeling isn't inherently wrong but its also not in line with what we've seen so far and while this could be a sign of progress it could also be a step back so instead it's best to consider how this effects or determines characterization

- Nico's coming out party…. God… why?

- There's also this weird thing with so much of the sexuality/gender stuff that it feels more like a lecture than an authentic experience, for me personally based on the flow of these conversations and the events and things i feel like it was done to make this more palatable for a cishet audience rather than to maintain and authentic experience??

- Anyhow the thing where Nico kind of makes Will come out in front of camp is giving me love simon flashbacks and i just have to say making someone come out to a large group or in public just to be with you is so so gross… there was no reason for this to be a plot point whatsoever imo, it feels really ooc and it does that really upsetting thing lots of ya books do where it tries to depict that in order to be authentically and "properly" queer one must be public in their grsm orientation which i think is a pretty harmful/hurtful idea overall but especially in media designed for preteens and teens who are more likely to be living in environments where coming out is unsafe

- None of the jokes land

- Literally they have the worst nicknames for everything. I liked the cringe otherwise, it did have young teen relationship vibes… but that was unforgivable to me personally but i guess other people liked this? To each their own!

- On that note! I've talked a lot about Solangelo being two sides of the same coin in terms of how their relationship works and while symbolism would have been nice straight up seeing Nico given a coin by will was also cringe and too far? Nico gave Will his ring, this thing that we've built up over the series to view as a representation of his grief and loss and his family and love and home and a culmination of Nico and Will gets nico… this coin he just seemingly had made that has almost no symbolic meaning beyond that? Nico's ring is basically a character unto itself, not only does giving a physical object and having Nico outright state the symbolism of it ruin the "show don't tell" logic of authoring it also feels hollow as the reader has no connection to this object like Nico's ring. There was no reason for this other than to make an equivalent exchange which is kind of a sucky way to weigh a relationship… it could have been better for Will to give nico something from his past as well and to have the piece come up in a memory or something OR for will and nico to have exchanged these gifts at some point on or just before their journey so the reader got to experience this connection as well

- Will's pov was kind of trash actually

- Why doesn't Will ever talk about finding Nico attractive?

- We never have it explained what exactly makes Nico a "star" ..? Like its constantly alluded to or even stated he is a star but we never actually get to see why

- Will never really "goes dark" the sniffles are not dark, dark would be like straight up plaguing them or having some sort of ability to radiate heat and blast things or craft his own weapons out of light or just something beyond singing and having the heart blast effect thingy…

- Their relationship is stated they've been together a year and trauma can definitely change things but for whatever reason their relationship feels more new and raw and tender than it did in ToA??? Why??? They do not feel like two fifteen/sixteen year olds who have been in a relationship for a year, they feel like two thirteen year olds who've been in a relationship for three months?

- I also personally feel conflicted about them not having a major kiss scene? Like on one hand it's nice to see queer couples treated like any other couple and kisses to be fairly casual mundane interactions! But on the other hand being a queer couple especially an mlm couple in a children's/ya series and being able to show physical affection is really quite uncommon tbh and I would have liked to see maybe a little emphasis at least on the first kiss that the audience gets to experience on paper just to sort of acknowledge that groundbreaking act? But maybe that's just me?

- Additionally speaking all of their prior banter is just.. gone..? They literally don't joke around except for 2 or 3 lines in the book despite previously being a very banter heavy couple? There is no reason they can't be both soft and comedic or have banter yet be tender to one another? It's like all the joy that was previously in their relationship was traded for arguing and bickering and this weird pettiness that feels ooc in general but especially from them?

- What was the plot point of going to Sally's house to send the iris message? Why was Sally brought into this? She's cool and we love her but there was no plot reason to add her? Even the percabeth iris message only minimally added to the plot

- Why is Will so bothered by death? Like I'm cool with him feeling weak in the underworld. I can respect that from a tension building pov and also being in the dark does go against his nature but like death is not something against his nature? He is well acquainted with death? People die in medical settings all the time i guarantee he has lost many patients and brushed shoulders with thanatos more than most people at camp + he lost A TON of siblings in the war he would have to be familiar with grief AT THE VERY LEAST but yet he seems to lamblike to all these things the whole novel I feel it weakens his character, the story, the plot, previous books, and his relationship with Nico- if they wanted him to have some reserved hesitations about death they could have done it much more tactfully but they didn't?

- I also hate every time some sort of discussion about him being a healer comes up because yes he is a magical exception that makes him a "natural born healer" but they take that too far imo, yes he is a magical exception but the way this stuff is worded gives this like "Will is such a good healer he never fails or breaks down or fatigues from it" and i just feel like it becomes an unrealistic and unhealthy example after a certain point and I would have loved to see that exploration that so many fanfic authors have done wonderfully about how Will is overworked and needs to learn to take care of himself before his patients just to add that depth to his character but Oshiro and Riordan just skip past this and again it feels like a massively missed plot point to give Will a deeper character

- It's also weird everytime Nico is like "Will always takes care of me now I have to take care of him" because again it just feels like such an unhealthy way to view a relationship… like if a partner gets sick 3x a year and the other partner is sick 5x a year partner A shouldn't be like "well now you owe me two sickness helpings" or something you know? Thats so petty and immature and unhealthy for a relationship and it's something that can be unlearned but also like if they've been together a year and they're supposed to be like a perfect fit according to what i think the symbolism was trying to get at (so much of this book feels like a rough draft not a final cut istg) then why is this even included anyhow?

- Also Nico is ooc at points, he seeks to heal others a lot of the time as well- Hades even mentions this, how even when Nico is offered something for himself he uses the gift to help someone else- this is a quality Nico and Percy (and Jason) all really consistently display throughout pjoverse EXCEPT Nico doesn't do this early on in the text?? He is unfazed by the nature of some things in the underworld (Will is right the fields of asphodel are perhaps more horrific in some way than the variations of hell provided in the underworld) and Nico is just like "yeah that's just how it is here" which kind of goes against that character trait + (though i may be confusing fanfic and canon here) didn't Nico and Hazel have a whole convo about how upsetting or painful asphodel is?? It goes on kind of even more so in this regard though where his regard for humanity seems significantly less so than in previous texts, there's something else as well i can't exactly put my finger on yet that also feels ooc … I'll keep thinking lol

- Once again to the "why is Nico a star thing" we have Nico constantly talking about how live exists even in the underworld and it's obviously intended to be a metaphor for hope and finding light in the dark and therefore a whole solangelo metaphor too but Nico brings it up and Will doesnt understand and then they argue (?) And then the metaphor falls flat because we never get to see this explored; we just have it Stated out loud a few times? Like there are many good explanations as to why this keeps getting brought up especially because we can also tie in how Will and Nico are alive down there or how Nico is seperate from the rest of the underworld because despite being part god he is also part mortal

- Once again Tartarus isn't actually scary and there's only so much "it's for kids" I'm willing to accept there, give it more Coraline please!!

- Again an issue with the Nyx thing, Nico doesn't agree with Nyx about who he is because Nyx cannot understand life and Nico can because he is mortal- Nico's mortality is a hugely defining aspect of his character because it sets him apart from the gods and the dead that make up so much of his life- in order to truly appreciate death and the afterlife you have to actually live and know life and change and things and the gods in their consistency are more like ghosts than anything

- It's also very irritating that this was never explored !!! So much of what makes demigods special in the rest of the series is their godhood and their connection to godhood, they are powerful because they are beyond human. However in Nico's fight with Nyx and some other aspects of Nico's behavior but most notably Nyx vs Nico is the culmination of this situation is that Nico's greatest strength throughout tsats is that he is mortal. He is powerful because he is human. He does all the things he does the way he does them because he is human. He is something beyond the gods' understanding because he is mortal- and that's all just swept under the rug for…? Honestly i have no idea why it makes no sense how that is a constant theme in this book yet it feels like the book falls constantly short of actually grasping that concept.

- And if you're wondering what the plot symbolism of Will being involved in all this is? I dont fucking know he doesnt have one he was kind of just dead weight the entire story!!! He was basically there just to help Nico pick some fruit and have dialogue with. I feel like Will was potentially supposed to represent how the "average person" would feel on this adventure but personally I feel if that is the case that I may be one of the worst people to understand that perspective as I have a peculiar and poetic love for death and dying.

- Plus when they're wandering through Tartarus's digestive tract (if you're reading this and you haven't read the novel yet or you didn't yet finish it, yes this is a thing that actually happens) and Will starts struggling with his memory, I would have loved to see the effects of that situation on Nico explored more as I would assume amnesia and people forgetting about him/leaving him would be a very difficult thing for him to deal with yet instead we're just told they passed stories back and forth and that made everything all right + not sharing much of those stories with the audience was again a missed character building moment for Will and a missed relationship building moment between them!!

- Them cuddling in the hut together and Nico wanting to wake Will up to share his nightmare was kind of cute though I will admit to that much

- I also hate how they put all this time and work into saving Bob and then Bob just fucks off into the sunset like everything is normal?? He just fucking dips like nothing even happened??

- Also people have been saying Will kissing Nico when he found out Jason was dead was wrong, and look idk if I'm personally going to go that far but I do think as a first kiss it's definitely weird than cute?

- I think Will's background and childhood could have been expanded on a lot more to make him an interesting character- we learn some about his life with Naomi before camp (and its nice to see her as a complete person and I think she has cool mom vibes for real) but I feel like the only adventure we get to hear about is him and his mom being in New York for concerts… what about other places around the country? what about the life he had with her when she wasn't touring?

- Along this same vein I feel like Will's behavior in the story not only doesn't match his behavior from the previous appearances he's made, but that for someone who seems to have spent a lot of time on the road getting to experience lots of different places (even if it was just the US, that's still pretty significant) I once again truly cannot understand his weird behavior about dead people and the underworld- its not only inconsistent with previous behaviors and beliefs he's exhibited but if he's been show so much diversity from a very young age he's probably naturally curious and inquisitive as well as naturally adventurous and outgoing- yet instead he basically just sticks his nose up at everything underworld-ish?? It not only weakens the plot, his character, and his relationship it also makes no sense with previous set ups AND it has no true culmination by the end of the story because we never truly see him accept or enjoy the underworld and what it has to offer he merely endures it.. so again, what was the point of him acting like that?

- Unpopular one: coco puffs are very cute but i find them unnecessary and completely over the top even for pjo and i can see them becoming annoying later on but that's just me personally.

Okay, I'm going to call it quits here. There's probably more I'll think to say later on but I feel this is a good summary of my initial thoughts. Weirdly enough, despite the negativity here, I would still recommend people read this book? I feel conflicted about whether or not the book belongs among my favorites, and it would certainly be the worst book among my favorites and/or recommendations for novels if I do end up feeling it belongs there. I have to say even despite as much as this book fails, I admire what it was attempting and I think like so many works in pjo before it there was a level of unrealized potential here amongst the text that will always be mildly infuriating. I feel very strongly that this book is a whole new era in Riordan's pjo verse, despite some aspects being "cringe" or some things being literary flops and emotional failures in my opinion, i do think this novel may be one of the most "mature" pieces in Riordan's collection- even in his and Oshiro's failure to bring MOST of their narrative full circle or to tie up their loose ends I can see what they're going for and I think having a taste of that potential really did something for me. I have read lots of books that leave me staring at the ceiling for hours in wonder and awe with a feeling i cannot describe as anything other than a "readers hangover" a desire to hold onto that book and to keep it beside me for a long time just to remember reading it, and I would pick it up many times through the following week or two just to rediscover certain parts, i have to say this book has definitely not been that. However I did spend a long time looking at the ceiling pondering it, and I do think I will reread it in the next week or so- but I have less a desire to return to the events of the novel and more a desire to simply upturn more stones in the landscape and find what I am missing. I want to say I hate the book, that it has no redeeming qualities, that everyone should simply leave it behind because of how awful and excruciating I found this novel- that wouldn't be accurate. I think this is the greatest book I have ever had the misfortune to read, I have never cared so deeply for a book I cannot stand. I absolutely adore this awful thing. I feel comfortable saying that for me, personally, percy jackson will never be the same again and that this book has completely changed the field and depth of my experience. I am literally failing to put into words how this book makes me feel. I suppose this book is my most wretched child and I shall cherish it dearly.

#long post #tsats spoilers #tsats #pjo #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo #ask to tag

[that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

I am NOT Thank You Notes

Some disclaimers/notes!

These are the thank you notes from the photo book/liner notes of Stray Kids' I am NOT album, as best as I can translate them.

I do not speak much Korean, but I can read the alphabet and know some basic words. I took a picture of each page, scanned it via Google lens, and ran it through Google translate (and other sites as needed). After that, I cleaned up grammar and weird phrasing and sometimes had to go back and manually correct omissions or figure out where typos got mistranslated. It was kinda grueling at times ngl.

I omitted Woojin's notes, as most current Stays would probably rather it be that way, but I chose not to omit mentions of him in the others' notes. What they wrote is what they wrote.

Hyunjin's handwriting was horrific, so sometimes I truly just had to make my best guess at what he even attempted to write. If I got stuff wrong, blame him, not me.

I'm not gonna correct Felix's own English punctuation and grammar, but again, I'm leaving in his mistakes, and they are not my own 😭

Italics indicate parts that were already in English or the Roman alphabet and [brackets] indicate my own notes.

I left in most honorifics they used, including a common shortening of *seonsaengnim, ie teacher, but putting in addendums like "composer" after every composer listed got a bit tedious, so I left those out. Just assume they're being very respectful of everyone unless they're equal or younger in age lol.

You will quickly figure out that they're thanking a lot of the same people, but you get some quirks too, including some familiar names of other JYPE artists!

Without further ado, enjoy!

Bang Chan

Hello! I have finally made my official debut! There are so many people who helped Chan come this far, and I am truly, truly grateful! First of all, my family in Australia, my dad, mom, Haena, and Wonie! Thank you so much for believing in me until the end and always supporting me... It must have been really frustrating, difficult, and painful to wait, but I'm so, so thankful for sticking with it until the end... I'll be successful and become a great son, oppa, and hyung for waiting so long! Love you always! I am also very grateful to my relatives in Korea. Of course, I don't see you often, but thank you so much for being a great help to me anytime and anywhere!

Another precious family in Korea... JYP FAMILY! Thank you so so so much! First of all, our PD Park Jinyoung, President Jung Wook, Vice President Jo Haesung, Vice President Byun Sangbong, and Vice President Pyo Jongrok, please always understand that I still have many shortcomings. Thank you so much for watching me get this far! A cool person who can show correct behavior and a good image in the future, I will be Chan! It's a promise!

Now, the Training Team that has been with me for 7 years! I can never forget it. Jiyoung noona, Yuri noona, Youngkyoon hyung, Anjin noona, Yeonsik hyung, Allen hyung, Seongha hyung! There are people who have seen me for a long time and there are people who have seen me recently, but time is not important. I'm just so grateful and I love you.. To those who helped me get here, thank you so much for helping me! I am so grateful to the Training Team and the countless teachers who taught me! First of all, Sujeong-ssaem* and Yumi-ssaem are like mothers... thank you very much for always being with me! Ali-ssaem! NO.. God Ali-ssaem! Thank you for teaching me so many things! Shin Yumi-ssaem, Hyungjoo-ssaem, Seongeun-ssaem, Youngsam-ssaem, Jisoo-ssaem, Jaesung-ssaem, Semi-ssaem, Doobu-ssaem, Jinhwan-ssaem, Jaeyeop-ssaem, Jinok-ssaem, Jjitong-ssaem, and Youngwo-ssaem! Thank you so much for teaching me so much! Another family-like Casting Team! Hyunkyung noona, Si-eun noona, Blake hyung, Donghwan hyung, Jin noona, Jiyoon noona (now not in the casting team)! Thank you for always watching over me! KJ[?] hyung, KJ from Thailand! I can't forget it~ Also, my Narae noona! I love you! Jeongeun noona, Heoni noona! I still remember! Ah, Hyang-ssaem, Gyurim-ssaem, Tatsuya-ssaem, and Hasegawa-ssaem, who taught me the language! Thank you for always teaching me well!

During my trainee period, I learned a lot from my trainee hyungs, noonas, friends, and dongsaengs! Thank you so much to everyone who stayed with me so far! It's great to see the current trainees always working hard, and they should continue to work hard in the future!

Yaochen, my favorite and hard-working dongsaeng, are you doing well? I will always be cheering you on! I graduated from the training center and was nervous about the new environment, but when I arrived there were so many familiar faces that I felt really at ease! First of all, I love our Stray Kids Team!

Song Ji-eun, CEO of Division 1, thank you so much for trusting me and my team and letting us go together in the future! Jeonghan hyung, whom I will continue to see in the future, Eunyoung noona, Jiyeon noona! Please take good care of us and we will always keep up with you! Also, Soojeon noona, Yoonjeong noona, Sunmi noona who are watching over us, and the unforgettable A&R Team! Yeji noona and Jiho hyung! Thank you so much for trusting us and being with us! I will do my best! Hana noona, Jihyung noona, Jane noona, Jeongmin noona, Bohyun noona, Ara noona, Jena noona, Dayoon noona, Taewon noona, Jeongeun noona, and Sinae noona! Really, thank you so much and see you often~ Soonhyung hyung? Hahaha, you know that I love you, who is really like a big brother to me, right? Also, thank you to our wonderful engineer hyung/noonas! Team leader Taeseop, Hyejin noona, Sehwe noona, Minji noona, Hansoo hyung, Hongjin hyung, and Sangyeop hyung, thank you always and see you often! Thank you to our Division 1 2PM Team hyung/noonas! Team leader Chaeyoon, Sooyeon noona, Mihee noona... I know the names are difficult, but I will try my best to memorize them all! I will work hard and show only my best side! Performance Team! Namyong-ssaem, Hyungwoong-ssaem, Taeul-ssaem, Gwangyeol-ssaem, Choi So-ssaem, Dasol (ssaem)? Haha. Thank you so much for helping me and my team so well! I hope to see you more often in the future~

Director Kim Heewon, Director Moon Hoyoon, Jaeho hyung, Team Leader Eunmok, Team Leader Park Chan, Team Leader Park Jongsook, Jihye noona, and Yejin noona! Thank you so much for just knowing me! We will only show you our good side! Ah~ Our Publishing Team’s CEO Lee Jeongyoon, Minji noona, Daye noona and Hyunwoo hyung! Thank you so much for helping me so well! Oh, and Kang Soonhyun! I love you haha. Thank you so much to the sunbaenims I know and appreciate! If you see it sometimes, you wrote it for me too, but now it's my turn!

To the 2PM sunbaenims we really respect, thank you for always taking good care of us wherever you are! We will become cool artists like our hyungs! Also, sunbaenim Yubin, who takes good care of me! And thank you to Hyelim sunbaenim! Thank you to Fei noona and Suzy noona for teaching me many things when I was young! We will work harder in the future! Also, A Yeon noona, Yerin, Jimin, Bernard hyung and Somi! Thank you so much! Thank you so much to GOT7, Day6, and Twice sunbaenims who made many memories together! Jaebeom hyung, Jinyoung hyung, Mark hyung, Jackson hyung, Youngjae hyung, Yugyeom, BamBam, Sungjin hyung, Jehyung hyung, Young K, Brian, Younghyun hyung, Wonpil hyung, Dowoon hyung, Nayeon noona, Jeongyeon noona, Jihyo noona, Momo noona, Sana noona, Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu! I'm so grateful to everyone and it's so nice to feel like we're together again as family~ I love you! Ah, I love our Boy Story sunbaenims/cute dongsaengs too!

Thank you so much to the composers who worked with me on the songs for the last Mixtape album and this I am NOT album! Armadillo, Earattack, Trippy, Won Taek, Garden, Real Men, "School Life" composers, Hong Jisang, Lee Woomin, Kim Park Chella, Faces of Glory, and This N That! Thank you for working with us and teaching us so much! Also, thank you so much to Director High Quality Fish for making our Music Videos and Performance Videos beautiful! And 8oobagraphy took great pictures of us! Thank you so much! Thank you so much to the PD hyungs, writer noonas, and camera hyung/noonas who took good care of us while broadcasting Stray Kids! I miss you all! Thank you so much to the hair and makeup noonas who traveled with us and always took care of us! Thank you for always! And thank you so much to the stylist hyung/noonas who dress me up in cool outfits! Thanks to you, I always have strength!

I am so grateful to my friends in Australia who always believe in me and make me laugh, and I am also very grateful to my school friends in Korea! I miss you all for the first time in a while~ Love ya all! And our Stray Kids members! Woojin, Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Seungmin, Felix and Jeongin! I really wouldn't be here if it weren't for you guys... I'm always grateful and will always continue to be~! Haha

And last but not least, our fans! Thank you so so so much! We get a lot of strength thanks to our fans! We will run harder for our fans! Even though we are still lacking a lot and don't have much experience, when people support us from the side, we have a lot of strength! We still have a long way to go, but I believe we will go on a fun adventure together! Come run with us! Turn everything upside down~! I love you all and thank you with all my heart!

Lee Know

Hello! This is Stray Kids Lee Minho. This is our first album, and PD Park Jinyoung, CEO Jung Wook, Vice President Jo Haesung, Vice President Byun Sangbong, and Vice President Pyo Jongrok all helped us release such a great album. Thank you for creating this great opportunity! And Jiyoung noona, CEO Song Ji-eun, thank you so much, Si-eun noona who cast me, the casting team hyungs and noonas, and the training team hyungs and noonas. Sujeong-ssaem, Yumi-ssaem, Seongeun-ssaem, Sool Jei-ssaem, Taehoon-ssaem, Namyong-ssaem, Hyungwoong-ssaem, Gwangryeol-ssaem, Ali-ssaem, and Jae-im-ssaem who helped me grow like this. Thank you so much! Also, our team Jeonghan hyung, Soojin noona, Jiyeon noona, Eunyoung noona, Yoonjeong noona, Sunmi noona, Yeji noona, Jiho hyung, 2PM team leader Chaeyoon, and Sooyeon noona. And thank you to Soonhyung hyung, Bohyun noona, and Ara noona. And thank you to the PD hyungs and writer noonas who filmed Stray Kids broadcast and made it great. Also, the composers who created wonderful songs. Director Mackerel, who made a great trailer and music video, and Booba hyung, who took pretty pictures. Thank you for always. Also, I would like to thank my hair and makeup noonas and stylist hyungs for always creating great hair and faces. Thank you for your continued support.

And to my family, mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather, Soonie, Doongie, and other relatives, I am truly very grateful.

Thank you to my dancer friends, hyungs, noonas, dongsaengs, and my friends who danced with me.

And thank you so so much to our fans. I want to continue to be together in the future, and I will always show you my best side, please be my strength!! ♡

Also, thank you to our Stray Kids brothers; you must continue to take good care of me. Let's do our best.

Changbin

Stray Kids has finally released their debut album!! First of all, my family, my most beloved supporters in the world, have been through a lot of crying and laughing together to get to this place, and I am so grateful to you for always believing in me and supporting me. We would like to thank PD Park Jinyoung, President Jeong Wook, Vice President Jo Haesung, Vice President Byun Sangbong, and Vice President Pyo Jongrok for allowing the nine of us to pursue our dreams together and always giving kind words and support. And I am very grateful to Stray Kids' mom Jiyoung noona and training team hyung/noonas who made our Stray Kids exist. My Jayoon noona, who had a keen eye for casting me ^^ Even if you go to other teams, always hwaitinggg!!

We are always grateful to the Stray Kids team CEO Song Ji-eun, Soojin noona, Junghwan hyung, Sunmi noona, Yoonjeong noona, Yeji noona, Eunyoung noona, and Jiyeon noona, who lead us on a good path, support us, and take care of us ㅜㅜ You must have gone through a lot of hardships because of us. Thank you so much for trusting and leading me until the end. Well, please take care of me in the future! Jihyung noona, Bohyun noona, Ara noona, Dawoon noona, Jena noona, Hana noona, Sunhyung hyung, Jeongmin noona, and Jane noona, who worked hard and worked together all night long for our great appearance and good songs both in the pre-debut album and this debut album, I am always so grateful to all of you! And thank you to team leader Chaeyoon and Sooyeon noona who helped us during our MD filming. Thank you so much to Booba hyung who took a lot of great photos this time, and to Director Mackerel who stayed up all night filming and making the appetizing music video! Thank you to Trippy hyung, Kim Park Chella, Jisang hyung, Jeongseok-ssaem, Lee Woomin, and Faces of Glory who worked with me on the great songs I would like to share on this debut album.

I am so grateful to my friends who give me strength and support from afar ^^ I miss you! Thank you to all of our Stray Kids hair and makeup stylist hyung/noonas who always make it appealing.

Lastly, I am so grateful to the fans who are the driving force behind Stray Kids' ability to run. Even though it's hard and tiring from practicing, I get strength when I think of you all and see your faces ㅜㅜ So, I hope we can be a source of strength to our fans too! Stray Kids will work even harder to achieve that, so please watch closely!! Stray Kids members Jeongin, Seungmin, Felix, Jisung, Hyunjin, Minho hyung, Woojin hyung, Chan hyung! I’m so thankful and happy because we’re a team together, Stray Kids ^^ Let’s go to the end!!

Hyunjin

Hello, this is Stray Kids Hyunjin. I am so excited to debut with our Stray Kids members. I'm so happy to be on such a good team with Chan hyung, Woojin hyung, Minho hyung, Changbin hyung, Jisung, Yongbok, Seungmin, and Jeongin. I love you—let's do well in the future. I think it's my greatest joy to have you as brothers. And the people I am most thankful for in my life are my mom and dad. Thank you for believing in me, helping me go down this path, giving me the most support, and loving me. I love you.

PD Park Jin-young, CEO Jeong Wook, Vice President Jo Haesung, Vice President Byun Sangbong, and Pyo Jong-rok, who created the family called Stray Kids. Vice President, CEO Song Ji-eun, thank you very much. Please take care of our Stray Kids in the future. Please enjoy it! We are all in the same boat as our team: Soojin noona, Jeonghan hyung, Yoonjeong noona, Neungmi[?] noona, Eunyoung noona, Jiyeon noona, Jiho hyung, and Yeji noona, so please take care of them like your own family! I will work hard, I love you! And Jiyoung noona, Yuri noona, Youngkyoon hyung, Anjin noona, Yeonsik hyung, Allen hyung, and Seongha hyung, who treated me well when I was at the training center, and Hyunkyung noona, Si-eun noona, Joonwoo[??] hyung, Donghwan hyung, and Jin noona, who were casting members, thank you for making and guiding me to grow like this.

I love you, A&R who took care of us for our album, Hana noona, Jane noona, Soonhyung hyung, Jeongmin noona, Jihyung noona, Bohyun noona, Jiyoon noona, Ara noona, Jena noona, and Dayoon noona, for making the quality so good and for being ours. And thank you to team leader Chaeyoon and Sooyeon noona for encouraging us to come out and see our MD photos. Please take care of me in the future. Yumi-ssaem, Ali-ssaem, Jaeyeop-ssaem, Sool Jei-ssaem, Soojeong-ssaem, Hyunjoo-ssaem, Jisoo-ssaem, and Seongeun-ssaem, whom I respect, thank you for helping me grow and raising me with kind and sometimes bitter words. I love you. I would like to thank my performance hyungs, Namyong-ssaem, Hyungwoong-ssaem, Gwangryeol-ssaem, and Taehoon-ssaem for coordinating all my choreography and formations. Thank you for your continued support.

Many thanks to my cherished hyungs, friends, and dongsaengs who were like treasures to me and spent every day with me when I was a trainee. I'll never forget you, and I heard that you guys are cheering me on even when I can't see my old neighborhood friends who support and care for me from far away. Maybe that's why I really miss you. I hope you do well in everything you are trying to do now. I love you. And to the dancers who are dancing hard with me in my class now, I want to make sure we all succeed and dance together in the future. Thank you for supporting me so much and good luck to the 8th class of calligraphy! To my middle and high school teachers, thank you for caring for me and giving me many kind words.

We are indebted to the music video for this album, the writer, and the cinematographer. Thank you for making a great music video for us. And I would like to thank my hair, makeup, and stylist hyung/noonas for working hard to make me look as good as possible on the screen.

And our Stray Kids fans, we met many of you for the first time on Mnet's Stray Kids. I think we worked even harder thanks to your support during the broadcast, which would have been difficult without the fans' support. Thank you so much for always coming to see us and always loving us.

I will work hard to repay you. I love you.

Han

Hello! This is Stray Kids Han Jisung, who finally debuted this time. First of all, I would like to thank PD Park Jinyoung, CEO Jeong Wook, Vice President Jo Haesung, Vice President Byun Sangbong, Vice President Pyo Jongrok, and CEO Song Ji-eun for helping us release our album.

Thank you so much to the Training Team, Jiyoung noona, Yuri noona, Youngkyoon hyung, Anjin noona, Seongha hyung, and Yeonsik hyung and Allen hyung from the China branch, who helped us grow so far. And from the A&R headquarters, Jihyung noona, Bohyun noona, Hana noona, Jeongmin noona, Ara noona, Soonhyung hyung who always helped us make good songs! Thank you for always helping us.

We are so grateful to the Stray Kids Team of Division 1, Soojin noona, Jeonghan hyung, Yoonjeong noona, Sunmi noona, Eunyoung noona, Jiyeon noona, Jiho hyung, and Yeji noona, who always work all night long for us. Thank you for always believing in us! We will work harder in the future.

Also, Namyong-ssaem, Hyungwoong-ssaem, Gwangyeol-ssaem, and Taehoon-ssaem, who created and taught us cool and impactful choreography for our songs! Thank you for always working hard to help us overcome our shortcomings! And I am always grateful and have respect for Yumi-ssaem, Sujeong-ssaem, and Ali-ssaem, who helped us improve our lacking skills. Thank you to our JYP family who work hard for us in places we can't see.

Also, Director Kim Yongsoo and my hyung, noonas on set filmed this quality, wonderful, movie-like music video, so thank you! And thank you, Booba hyung, for always taking pictures of me looking cool and pretty! Thank you so much to our hair and makeup noonas who always come out earlier than us and do our hair and makeup beautifully. Also, I am always grateful to the stylist hyung, noonas who dress us in cool, pretty clothes!

My dad, mom, and older brother, who are always worried about the youngest child in the family, are far away and although they are not with me, I am always thankful for their support and prayers, and I love them so much.

And... our Stray Kids brothers are always by each other's side, encouraging and supporting each other, and now I miss them even if I don't see them even for a day, and our members who have become one family now are Chan hyung, Woojin hyung, Minho hyung, Changbin hyung, Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin, thank you always... I'm so happy that our members are Stray Kids. Let us continue to be wonderful and closer brothers to each other! In the future too~ Please take good care of me!! It's a little embarrassing and unfamiliar, but... I love you. Hahaha

Lastly, our fans who have been waiting for our official debut as much as we have... no, even more than us! We are so grateful to you for giving us such a precious opportunity behind the scenes so that we can stand in this position. You always support us. I think it is a great gift to receive support from fans in our lives! Now we're growing up by your side! We will show you that we are always consistent and never lose our original intention! We will do our best to be a Stray Kids who can always bring happiness to you! We are always grateful to our Fans who always give us so much love despite our shortcomings,♡ I love you.♡ [heart exclamation point] Everyone! Please look forward to it in the future! Thank you all so much.

Felix

Hello, this is Straykids Felix. Thanks to PD Park Jinyoung, President Jeong Wook, Vice President Jo Haesung, Vice President Byeon Sangbong, and Vice President Pyo Jongrok, thank you very much for your hard work for Straykids so far. Still, I still want to learn a lot about Korean culture, skills, and JYP style, and I am honored to be able to work as a JYP artist in the future. I will try my best. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ♡

Thanks to CEO Song Ji-eun ♡♡ Thank you for taking care of us, helping us debut, and being with us in the future. Whenever we do a music video, Jambangee, or something important, the CEO always takes care of us and buys us delicious food, so I think the CEO is a loving mother to Straykids ♡^^ We will work hard to make CEO Song Ji-eun and everyone proud of Straykids. We will show you a better image in the future. Thank you ^^♡♡♡

Thanks to Straykids team Soojin noona, Jeonghan hyung, Yoonjeong noona, Sunmi noona, Jiyeon noona, Eunyoung noona, Jiho hyung and Yeji noona!! When we first met, I was worried because it was awkward with my hyung, noonas, but thank you for working until dawn, coming home late, and being with us Straykids. We, the 9 Straykids, will work hard and show it with good hearts. In the future, we will show you that we will always work hard to achieve success.

Thanks to training centre Jiyoung noona, Yuri noona, Youngkyoon hyung, Anjin noona, Si-eun noona, Yeonsik hyung, Allen hyung, Jihyung noona, Bohyun noona, Ara noona, Dayoon noona, Jena noona, and Soonhyung hyung. Thank you for taking pictures, creating the mixtape album, and allowing me to meet the 9 Straykids when Straykids started. I didn't have much time to prepare, but fortunately, thanks to my brothers and sisters, I learned a lot about JYP style and Korean culture, and I will always be grateful and miss you. Thank you for taking good care of me so far, and I ask for your continued support.

Thanks to Namyong-ssaem, Taehoon-ssaem, Hyungwoong-ssaem, Gwangyeol-ssaem, Sujeong-ssaem, Yumi-ssaem, Sool Jei-ssaem, Ali-ssaem, Jinhwan-ssaem, Jeongseok-ssaem, Jaeyeop-ssaem, Jisoo-ssaem, and Lee Hyang-ssaem. When I first came here, I practiced without knowing much about how to find my skills, but I am grateful to the teachers who have worked hard to teach me a lot so far. If the teachers hadn't focused on it, it would have been very lacking. Although I am still lacking, I have learned a lot and will work harder to become a great artist. Thank you!

Thanks to my family Straykids Chan hyung, Woojin hyung, Minho hyung, Changbin hyung, Hyunjin, Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin, from the beginning until now, they have helped and understood each other, given a lot of love, and eaten together. I think we really are a dream team, practicing as a group and shedding sweat like tears. I'm always sorry if I did any harm to the team because I didn't know what to do at first, so thank you. I will learn and work hard to be a plus to the team. Thank you very much for understanding. This is just the beginning and we are short on time, but let’s work hard to succeed in the future! Straykids hwaiting.

Thanks to Straykids fans! Thank you so much for your continued support from the start of the broadcast and for listening to our music a lot ♡. Please look forward to better songs, stages, and appearances in the future, and we will show you only the best. I love you and thank you~ ♡

Straykids Fans! From the start of Straykids reality show til now, thank you so much for the love and support Straykids needed. In the future Straykids will release much more surprising, touching and great music so please look forward!! We will show a much better side!

Thanks to close, supportive mates in school and church. Thanks for all the good times we've had and unforgettable moments. I'll always remember the parties, ceremonies, camping holidays and lastly the kindness Ive always recieved.

In order to repay all the kindness recieved, I have wrote down my thanks in this album for you guys. At this early age, leaving Australia were hard, for my dream and goals however found. I pray for you guys to find your own successful life goals in the future. lastly, cheers.

Thanks to highschool teachers and church teachers

Thank you for all the hard work and effort teaching my year!!

I have learn't many things that will help myself in the future. throughout my years in highschool, there were many fun, memorable moments I cannot forget... it's a shame there was not alot of time to spend with my year and teachers. All the useful, supportive Hps during highschool has help me reach beyond my limits and changed myself into a much better person. Without the support, I wouldn't know what kind of person I'd turn out to be so thankyou and God bless.

Thanks to my family

Thank you for watching over me and giving me so much love when I was in Australia since I was born.

I will miss you all... Thank you for giving me the opportunity to become an artist in Korea. I will show you how hard I work. I love you, and hwaiting! ♡

Seungmin

I am truly grateful to the entire JYP family, my dream company, for recognizing such an ordinary student and helping him rise to this point. PD Park Jinyoung! I first met the PD during the broadcast of 'Stray Kids', and since then, I would like to thank you for always helping me and giving me many kind words. Thank you for allowing all 9 of us to debut together!

President Jeong Wook, Vice President Jo Haesung, Vice President Byun Sangbong, and Vice President Pyo Jongrok!! Thank you for trusting us and allowing us to come this far. Based on this good start, we will continue to work steadily!! A&R Director Lee Jiyoung! Thank you for seeing the potential and choosing me. I think I was able to come this far because of that beginning. And even though he must have been colder than us during important filming or MV filming, he stayed there until the end, so I really believed in his strength. Please continue to discover more dream trees with better roots! [No idea what was meant here] Subdivision representative Song Ji-eun!! Thanks to the fact that you always trust us and take care of us first, we will also trust and follow you. It's really cool to see how sincerely you treat us every time we see you. Please continue to treat me well.

Training team: Yuri noona, Youngkyoon hyung, Anjin noona, Yeonsik hyung, Allen hyung, and Seongha hyung! Thank you for helping us get into the outside world. We really didn't listen to each other, but thank you for always thinking only of our success and making it happen!

Casting team Hyunkyung noona, Si-eun noona, Joongoo hyung, Donghwan hyung (Daeho hyung), Jin noona, and Jiyoon noona, who is now on the production team! Thank you for joining us in the memorable start of the public recruitment audition, selecting an ordinary student, and recognizing my effort and passion. I haven't been able to see you often at work because I'm away on business trips, but I'm always grateful!!

And our Stray Kids team that will be with us from now on!! Assistant manager Soojin, Jeonghan hyung, Sunmi noona, Yoonjeong noona, Eunyoung noona, Jiyeon noona, Jiho hyung, Yeji noona! I hope we can live together as a family in harmony for a long time to come! Thank you for always taking care of us first and working hard for us until late. We want to work hard to do the right thing and leave you feeling even more proud. The reason we are able to shine like this now is thanks to our hyung/noonas who worked hard. Division 1 Team Leader Chaeyoon, Sooyeon noona!! Thank you for having us during our last MD shoot and helping us take pretty pictures!!

Production team leader Jihyung, Bohyun noona, Ara noona, Dayoon noona, Jena noona! Thank you for always taking care of us during filming, helping us, and making great videos and photos behind the scenes. I think I was able to work harder because I was encouraged by the frequent pats on set! Our teachers have helped me develop good skills and follow the right path since I was a trainee!!! Soojeong-ssaem, Yumi-ssaem, Ali-ssaem!!!! In a short period of time, and even now, thanks to my teachers, I was able to think and make the right decisions and enjoy singing, dancing, and performing on stage more. I will continue to stick with you and work harder! Performance Directing Team Director Namyong, Hyungwoong-ssaem, Gwangyeol-ssaem, and Taehoon-ssaem! Thank you for always creating cool choreography for our songs and refining it until late so that we can perform better on stage.

Recording engineer team Hansoo hyung and Sehee noona!! Thank you for accepting and polishing our voices beautifully starting from the Mixtape album!! Acting management team Narae noona! Thank you for always saying kind words and welcoming me every time we ran into each other!!

Composers who make good songs together! I will practice more and work hard to ensure that you are satisfied with the song! Trippy hyung, Jisang! Jeongseok-ssaem! It was great to be with you this time too! And the High Quality Fish team who created really cool trailers and music videos, and artist Booba who is always by our side and takes natural, pretty, cool photos!! Thank you for the feedback, I think my photography skills are improving!! Hair and makeup noonas who always make our hair and faces pretty!! Thank you for allowing me to stand in front of my fans with a great appearance!!! I am often surprised to see how you can turn plain white drawing paper into a beautiful picture, haha. When I go to the store, I feel like the person in front of the mirror is not me, haha. And our wonderful stylist hyung/noonas! We are always grateful to you for dressing us in cool outfits that we could never have imagined at first. It may be difficult every time, but we will help you more in the future! There are times when filming ends late, and there are times when I feel sorry that you always take care of us first. Hair, makeup, and costume team hyung/noonas! Thank you for your hard work!

Music team Soonhyung hyung and Jeongmin noona!! Thank you for your many musical comments and compliments. Thank you for your continued support! Thank you for always having great ideas! Jongwook, head of the legal team! Thanks to you, I was able to get off to a safe and good start. thank you!!

Last year’s homeroom teacher, Wonjeong-ssaem!! Thank you for helping me have a good school life and always encouraging me! Let’s keep seeing each other in the future! And my friends who I have grown up with since I was young! Thanks to you, I can smile and have fun every time I go to school. Even if I can't express it in words, I feel proud and thanks for having it, you guys. Let’s work hard in our respective fields and see each other later with a smile.

We, the 9 members who met by fate to do what we wanted to do, let's go without losing our original intention!! Thank you for always being my support. Mnet's 'Stray Kids' PDs, writer hyung/noonas, and camera hyung/noonas who gave us a good start!! Now I see you often on M Countdown!! I'm so attached to it that I can't wait to see it. Thanks to you, I was able to cry and laugh and become closer to the members.

Lastly, even though I can never express it in words, I am so thankful and sorry to my beloved family. Your youngest son, who cried and asked you to live a life singing, is about to start his career as a singer. I have received a lot of love since I was young, and now I am truly grateful to my fans for allowing me to receive love from them as well, which I will share with them and work hard to grow into a worthy person. Thank you so much for believing in your son and allowing him to do what he wants. Thank you again for raising me nicely and properly, and now I will repay you!

In addition to my mom, dad, and sister, my aunt, my family and my two grandfathers who were a good influence on me and taught me what the truth is, my grandmother who wanted to see her grandchildren's faces even once but couldn't, and my grandmother who always encouraged me and made me feel beautiful. Thank you so much to everyone. From now on, I'm going to give back all the love I've received!! Thank you.

I.N

Hello! This is Stray Kids maknae Yang Jeongin! For allowing our Stray Kids to come this far, thank you all. Thank you so so much to PD Park Jinyoung, CEO Jeong Wook, Vice President Jo Haesung, Vice President Pyo Jongrok, Vice President Byun Sangbong, and CEO Ji-eun who helped us release the album. Thanks to you, I think a much better album has come out.

And the Stray Kids team that always promotes and supports us, Soojin noona, Yoonjeong noona, Sunmi noona, Jeonghan hyung, Eunyoung noona, Jiyeon noona, Jiho hyung, and Yeji noona, we will work harder to repay you, hyung, noonas! And to Namyong-ssaem, Taehoon-ssaem, Gwangyeol-ssaem, and Ali-ssaem, who always help us with our dances, we would like to thank them for making our dances and teaching us. Youngkyoon hyung, Yuri noona, Anjin noona, Allen hyung, Seongha hyung, Yeonsik hyung, and the casting hyung/noonas who have helped us since we were trainees, Hyunkyung noona, Si-eun noona, Joongoo hyung, Donghwan hyung, Jin noona, even those who are not currently on the production team. Thank you so so much ㅠㅠㅠ I think we were able to debut like this thanks to you!! Thank you so so much!!

And the A&R team! Thank you, Jiyeon noona, Jihyung noona, Bohyun noona, Ara noona, Dayoon noona, and Jena noona for the hair and makeup test, and thank you for always being there during trailer and MV filmings and watching us until the end. I am always so grateful to the hair and makeup staff noonas who always work hard on site and help me, and to the stylist hyung, noonas who always dress me up in pretty clothes! Thank you for being so nice to us, and please continue to treat us well!! I would also like to thank director Kim Yongsoo for filming this music video and trailer beautifully. I'm really glad it came out so nicely. Also, Booba takes great pictures of us, and I'm often surprised at how great the pictures are. Please take more good photos in the future!

Yumi-ssaem, who always helps me with vocals, I will work harder from now on, and Sujeong-ssaem, who always gives me kind words, thank you. Music team Soonhyung hyung, Hana noona, and Jeongmin noona, thank you for helping us produce good songs. And thank you to the PDs and writers who helped Stray Kids broadcast. I think we was able to do so well thanks to them~^^

Thank you to the teachers at my school, and thank you so much to my friends who support me! And I am so grateful to Mom, Dad, my older brother, and my younger brother Yoon for always supporting and taking good care of me. I hope to become a great son to my mom and dad. I am also grateful to my relatives who always support me.

To the 0th generation fan club members and everyone who loves Stray Kids even if they are not from the 0th generation fanclub, I love and thank you so much. Please take care of me in the future. Thank you. Lastly, I would like to thank my member hyungs. I love you, thank you. Let's last a long time!

[Every time Jeongin writes Stray Kids in English, he tries to write it like Chan/the logo, and it's so cute 😭]

Stray Kids

We would like to thank PD Park Jinyoung and CEO Jeong Wook, who always say good things to us and set us great examples, and Vice President Jo Haesung, Vice President Byun Sangbong, and Pyo Jongrok, who always cheer us on with a smile and give us strength.

Jiyoung noona, Yuri noona, Youngkyoon hyung, Anjin noona, Yeonsik hyung, Allen hyung, and Seongha hyung who have taken care of us and guided us on a good path since we were trainees, Hyunkyung noona, Si-eun noona, Joongoo hyung, and Donghyun hyung who always greet us with a smile, Jin noona, our Stray Kids team representative Ji-eun, Soojin noona, Jeonghan hyung, Yoonjeong noona, Sunmi noona, Jiyeon noona, Eunyoung noona, Jiho hyung, and Yeji noona, who always care for us, take care of us, and say kind words, thank you so much.

The music team, Hana noona, Jane noona, Soonhyung noona, Jeongmin noona, who work hard together day and night to make our album great, and the production team Jihyung noona, Bohyun noona, Tae-eun noona, Jeongeun noona, Yeona noona, Soyeon noona, Jiyoon noona, Ara noona, Dayoon noona, Jena noona, Sinae noona, who improve the quality of our album!! Thank you for always working hard for us who are lacking. And to the recording engineer team that beautifully polishes our songs, team leader Taeseop, Hyejin noona, Hongjin hyung, Sehee noona, awesome~ Hansoo hyung, Minji noona, and Sangyeop hyung~~ Thank you for always making our songs of better quality. ㅜㅜ

Thank you to 2PM team leader Chaeyoon, Manager Gwangmyeong, Hwamok hyung, Eunseop hyung, Sooyeon noona, and Mihee noona for being so kind. We are truly grateful and look forward to your continued support!! We are always so so grateful to the performance directing LAB team, including Namyong-ssaem, Hyungwoong-ssaem, Assistant Manager Heeso, Gwangyeol-ssaem, Taehoon-ssaem, and Dasol noona, who teach us our choreography.

Artist Headquarters 2 Head Heewon, Gyunghyun hyung, Seongsu hyung, Jeongyu hyung, Minsung hyung, Assistant Manager Leewon, Assistant Manager Jihye, Yejin noona, Seonkyung noona, Ryerim noona, Assistant Manager Jong-gu, Assistant Manager Yeonjung, Ari noona, Sangho hyung, Donghyun hyung, Jasung hyung, Hyejin noona, Hyesoo noona, Narae noona, Artist 3 Headquarters Manager Hyunkook, Team Leader Joon-gil, Yongkyo hyung, Seonhwa noona, Sora noona, Team leader Haejoon, assistant manager Bora, assistant manager Hyoyoon, Nayeon noona, Jongbum hyung, Raejang hyung, Yongjin hyung, Daseol noona, Hyukjoon hyung, Hanmi noona, Saerom noona, Studio-J headquarters manager Hoyoon, team leader Youngjun, Assistant manager Sungjin, Gyungsin hyung, Junghyun noona, Yejin noona, Kangsoon hyung, Haram hyung, Sihyung hyung, Dayeol hyung, Assistant Manager Yerin, Jihyun noona, Ji-eun noona, Seunghee noona, Hyeri noona, Mujoon hyung, Gayoung noona, Acting Management team's team leader Ga-eul, Manager Sanghyun, Soonho hyung, Jaehyung hyung, Seungwon hyung, Taehyung hyung, Daehoon hyung, Sungbum hyung, Sanghoon hyung, Donggeun hyung, Assistant Manager Narae, Da-ae noona, Sojung noona, Manager Youngjoo, Assistant Manager Hwayoung, Hyunsun noona, Director Sangho of the Public Relations team, Manager Yoonji, Assistant Manager Seoyoon, Dayeon noona, Ye-eun noona, head of the Broadcasting team Jincheol, Assistant Manager Younggeol, Jaeseo of the Secretarial team, Gyungmin hyung, and Miri noona.

Advertising team Manager Jaeho, Assistant Manager Jungyoon, Hosoo hyung, Seongmin hyung, and Na-eun noona. Team Leader Eunwok of the Performance Business Team, Assistant Manager Seungeun, Assistant Manager Hyojung, Yujin noona, and Jeongmin noona. Yongho of the Management Resources Office, Team Leader Hyojung of the Accounting Team, Deputy Manager Yoonjoo, Manager Jinyoung, Assistant Manager Boram, Sister Sejin, Gyohee noona, Team Leader Sunghyun of the Human Resources and General Affairs Team, Manager Gyungjin, Hyunjoo noona, Kangmin hyung, Junho hyung, Team Leader Jongwook of the Legal Team, Changwoo hyung, IR team leader Younghwan, IT team leader Park Chan, Manager Siyong, Assistant Manager Chanmoo, F&B Team Leader Sunkyung, Manager Jaeyoung, Cafe Business Team Manager Sungho, JYP Pictures Manager Rayoung, Assistant Manager Jihye, Gyungheun hyung, JYP Publishing Team CEO Jungyoon, Manager Minji, Assistant Manager Daye, Hyunwoo hyung, JYP Japan Deputy Branch Manager Gyunghee, Manager Narita Rinko, Assistant Manager Jihoon, Assistant Manager Park Won, Team Leader Saiki Ayumi, Sungbeop hyung, Minaka Miho noona, Assistant Manager Sung-ah, Mina noona, Sudo Huuka noona, JYP China branch representative Cheolhoon, Director Yoomyo, Team Leader Miran, Songyoung noona, Team Leader Sungcheol, Assistant Manager Yoosin, Sooyoung noona, Rui Yakpyung noona, Jinhee noona, Team Leader Hyoyeon, Assistant Manager Hagon, Ihan noona, Weeryang, Assistant Manager Jangman, Assistant Manager Gyunghwan, Sangdal noona from the JYP Pictures China team, JYP Thailand branch director Gijae, assistant manager Nutcha Chansing, assistant manager Wasinee Srithavatch, Charunya Thairuksa nim, Vilaiwan Yodmai noona, and writers from the JYP publishing team Jisang hyung, writer Eunji, writer Tommy Park, and writer Eunsoo, writer Woomin, writer Jiwook, writer Daesung, writer Seunggeun, writer Seungsoo, writer Minhyung, writer Hyunkyung, writer Yongwoon, Armadillo hyung, Frants hyung, writer Itoyo, writer RAINSTONE, Garden hyung, writer Haesol, writer Joohyung, writer Seunghyuk, writer Jungsik, writer Inkwan, writer Wonjoon, and the company's seniors, Yubin sunbaenim, Hyelim sunbaenim, 2PM sunbaenim, Fei sunbaenim, Suzy sunbaenim, Baek A-yeon sunbaenim, 15& sunbaenim, GOT7 sunbaenim, Nakjoon sunbaenim, DAY6 sunbaenim, TWICE sunbaenim, Somi sunbaenim, we would like to thank all the JYP family members who helped us debut, and as JYP 's maknaes, we will work hard to become Stray Kids with pride! Thank you to everyone and we ask for your interest and anticipation in the future!! We will work hard without wavering and show only our best side!! Thank you!! We love the JYP family ♡♡

Thank you to Trippy hyung, writer Kim Park Chella, Jisang hyung, Jeongseok-ssaem, writer Lee Woomin, writer Fredro, and the two writers of Faces of Glory for collaborating on such great songs. Director HIGHQUALITYFISH, thank you so much for filming our music video and trailer in a cinematic way. Boobagraphy, thank you so much for capturing our pretty and wonderful sides in your photos. Additionally, Director Jei, Jiwon noona, Jihyun noona, and Miri noona, and other noonas who always bring vitality to our looks! Thank you for letting us take beautiful photos. Also, we are really, really grateful to Director Youngjin, Sangcheol hyung, Hyoseok hyung, Sera noona, and Mijeong noona, who give us wings with their stylish clothes. We will work harder as you make it more beautiful. Please continue to be with Stray Kids, hwaiting!!

I think we exist because of our fans. We felt like we had to work really hard when we saw people waiting outside until late to support our stage even though it was cold. Thank you so much for always supporting and giving us so much love!! We will continue to work hard to show you a good and unchanging image. Will you continue to love us a lot in the future? Thank you ♡ We love you ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

To the members of our 9 families who always support and take care of us, thank you so much for giving birth to us and raising us!! Thank you for taking care of us whenever we are sick and watching over us from afar. We miss you a lot, and we will be great on stage, so please keep an eye on us ♡♡ We love you ♡♡

Lastly, our Stray Kids brothers! We've been running with the goal of debuting, but think of it as a new start rather than an arrival, so let's work hard and make sure that something good happens!! Let's rely on each other and keep it like this and run again!! Stray Kids, let’s turn everything upside down, hwaiting!!!!

#stray kids #skz #skz stay #bystay #skz i am not #bang chan #lee know #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #felix lee #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #stray kids translation #hi chris how ya doin #it's so humbling to go back to the beginning when they drew small crowds on the street and seeing how they thought back then #and even back then you can see how much they loved and valued every single person they worked with #and cared about them as humans rather than like. Soulless Lowly Workers Who Are Beneath Me. #heck I've worked retail jobs where I've been treated with less respect as a person than these men—teenagers at the time! #—gave their makeup artists and photographers and cubicle workers #their humility really isn't something that's just for show that they put on after they blew up #so as long of a job as they made it for me to translate their thank you notes I'm still left appreciating them that much more in hindsight #if you read this far here's a peanut 🥜 #unless you're allergic to peanuts in which case i will give you something else nice

[orchideous-nox]

🕯️,🥤,🧃,🍄,🍬,❄️,🏜️,🍅,🐝 and 🎨 for the writers truth or dare ask game < 3

it's 12:20am lets see if I can get through these by 1am lets goooo oh my god this is so many okay

🕯️- on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

Like a 3, maybe a 4. The only part of editing I enjoy is that its the last step in the writing process and then I get to upload the fic, I just find it boring and lowkey stressful and 1 typo always makes it's way into the fic no matter what I do

🥤 - recommend an author or fanfic you love

okay I can't just keep saying Alex (but also yes I can, go check out heartnipnops on ao3) and I recently read "I adored you Madly, Extravagantly, Absurdly" by MiriamMT which I devoured like way too quickly so I'll go with that!

🧃 - share some personal lore you never posted about before

*gasp* KATIE LORE?! Okay eerrrmmm trying to think about what I have or haven't posted. I have a degree in Film Studies, I wrote my dissertation on representations of masculinity in Hollywood films of the 1990s with a focus on Robin Williams in Jumanji, Mrs Doubtfire and Good Will Hunting! That was a lot of fun to write and I can occasionally get pretentious about films from time to time. I am always down to talk films with people though

🍄 - share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

okay love this, I don't usually keep track of my hc's and don't want to revert back to my usual bottom barty and evan collects teeth bullshit.

It seems to have made it into my fics' canon that Barty’s phone screen is always smashed or cracked but I think Evan’s is pristine like he has a fucking bumper phone case incase he drops it, with a screen protector and if it gets the slightest scratch he gets frustrated and buys a new screen protector.

🍬 - post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Again, I don't want to just say bottom Barty again but that is a hill I'll die on. I think a fair amount of my opinions are relatively popular, or at least aren't unpopular.

Okay so I came back to this and I have nothing. Scouse Barty. Not an opinion, I'm here for it though.

❄️ - what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best

i shouldn't say too much about this but my lovely friend who sent me this ask, Alex, has a future fic on his masterlist that we have discussed extensively of like a stalkery and murdery Rosekiller fic that I'm very obsessed with and he knows this and I'm very excited for it because its all I could want in a Rosekiller fic. This also makes it sound like I only have 1 friend because I just talk about Alex.......oh well

🏜️ - what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Oh my god Alex just ask me to suck your dick next time 😒 but seriously I love when people pick out quotes that they like or certain aspects of the fic such as loving the ship dynamic or my writing style.

🍅 - give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

I withdraw the dick sucking joke, me and my inflated ego hate you.

I think there are times I need to learn to be more concise. I don't have to give a whole life story in a smut fic and some brevity might do me some good if I can learn how to say more in less words.

🐝 - tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

Oh my god seriously 🙄

Okay so my biggest support is @futurequibblerjournalist aka Alex who I have been continuously hyping up and roasting in the answers to the questions he asked me. He knows he's my biggest supporter and, like a wanker, wants me to inflate his ego.

I could say that Alex has correct opinions (because we share a lot of them) or that he's a great writer but I've already said that like twice in this post. But above all Alex is just one of the best people I know, over the last 5 months we've talked like every day extensively and on good days or bad days he has been a light for me like a sparkly fucking bitch I hate him and myself so much I'm going to throw up now brb

🎨 - link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

I'm resisting temptation to make this about Alex and his stupid fucking Cowboy Rosekiller art based on my Cowboy Rosekiller fic 🖕

Actually no, we're making this an Alex-fest because fuck you.

i love it. I love everything about it.

But I'm also going to include one that isn't from my fic

This art by @julesart04 revolutionised my love for Barty and inspired a movement for Barty’s whorish waist on my page

Okay it's 1:10am and I'm pretty sure Alex is about to declare me as a stalker and block me ✌️

#ask game #katie lore

[chunyaowo]

▽₊˚Chapter 1☁️♡

Hello! First of all, English is not my first language, so If there are any grammar, typos, or anything I am apologizing in advance. Second of all. It's been ages since I've written a fanfic, so please do excuse me if it sounds rough. Hope you're still  having a great time with reading!

.✦　₊　♡ .　₊ ✦ .　 + .✦ ₊ ‧  ⨯     .⁺   ✦   * 𓂂     ⨯  . ⁺ 　 .

It is a beautiful day. The birds are chirping, and the sky is shining clear without any clouds to see, but you were less than happy. Today starts school again for you, and you're not motivated at all.

"I hope this day is going to end quickly" you're giving out a little sigh.

You arrived at school just in time and the first period is about to begin. It's your first school day after summer break, and like usual you're talking about Organisation things like new class teachers, students, etc. It is boring like always, nothing special nor interesting, so you decided to kill the time with doodling on your math booklet.

.✦　₊　♡ .　₊ ✦ .　 + .✦ ₊ ‧  ⨯     .⁺   ✦   * 𓂂     ⨯  . ⁺ 　 .

As the time flies, it is now lunch. You took your bento out of your bag and decided to go and eat it somewhere more quiet.

Suddenly someone who is carrying many books bumped into you.( how cliché if you would ask me. But since the author likes clichés I'm going to shut up)

It happened so fast you're just seeing all the books falling on the floor, so do you as well.

"Ouch!"

"Oh my god, I am so sorry! Are you hurt?"

Your eyes were looking on the floor but suddenly gazed up to the masculine voice you're hearing. You're seeing a neither really tall nor a  really short guy with blue dyed hair tips and a worried expression on his face, reaching out his hand to you.

"Don't worry, I am fine, thank you"

You're thankfully taking his hand to get you up.

" I am very sorry for bumping into you, I just carried so much books, I barely could see anything, and as soon as I saw you it was too late and bumped into you."

You're seeing this guy bowing as a sign of forgiveness.

"Oh it's fine, don't worry!"

You bend down, helping with picking up the books, who lay all over the floor.

"Oh, It's not necessary, but thank you for helping!

The guy bends down and picks up the books as well. Suddenly your eyes catch something familiar. "Wait… this book… It's one of my favourite novels of all time! It's so well written!"

You paused.

"Oh… sorry, I overtook it."

Man, that's so embarrassing, but always when I see someone having the same interests as me, I always want to talk with them about it. I'll ask myself if he read it…probably not. He doesn't seem like someone who would read something like that. He's been carrying many books, maybe just because a teacher need them or something.

"No need to apologize. The novel is really something different, right?" The guy gives you a warm smile.

"Wow, so you know it?"

Your eyes started to shine.

"Of course, I love to read and write. And this one was sure a rollercoaster of emotions"

HE LOVES TO READ AND WRITE TOO? WHO IS THIS GUY

"Woah, I love to read and write as well! What is your name?"

"It's Ike. Ike Eveland. I'm in the third year. What about you?"

"Oh, my name is Y/N L/N. And I'm in the second year, so.. You're my senpai. It's nice to meet you, Eveland-Senpai."

"It's nice to meet you too, L/N- San." Ike gives you a warm smile in return.

"I've been thinking about this the whole time, may I ask what you were doing with all these books?"

"Oh, these are the new books that I wanted to classify in the library. I'm working there, you know?"

He's working in the library?

"Oh I see that's why. May I help you with carrying all these books?"

"That would be very kind of you." Ike gives you a heartwarming smile out of thankfulness.

Both of you are now in the library, you decided to help Ike a little bit more by helping him to classify the books in the shelves. Meanwhile, you and Ike having a little bit of small talk.

"Eh? So you like Anime and vocaloid as well?" You glanced at him with a shocked face. You never really met  someone that had so much in common with you.

"Yes, I absolutely do.They're one of my special interests!"

I never would have thought that I would find someone who is so passionate about these things just like me.

You both are glancing at each other with bright, shining eyes. It gives comfort to both of you, knowing that there is finally someone who you can talk about something that you are interested in.

"Riiiiiiing"

The time passed away sooner than it felt like. Both of you had so much fun with talking to each other.

"Oh, the break is already over? Time really flies, huh? Anyway. I need to go to class. Thank you for helping me with everything, and I'm very  sorry for bumping into you."

"You're welcome and no worries! I really appreciated our little conversation that we had!."

"Then I'm very glad." You're seeing how his lips shaped a little smile. Before Ike went back to his class, you're seeing how he turns around you and giving you a little wave.

"Let's talk again, okay?"

With these words he disappeared.

Eveland-senpai is really cool! Even though I don't really know him, but I kinda feel like that I can be myself around him.

Your stomach suddenly started growling.

Man! Because of all that I forgot to eat, I am so hungry…. Wait a second.. I WILL BE LATE FOR CLASS

The day was not how you expected it to be, but it was sure not bad. Hoping that maybe both of you will talk again.

.✦　₊　♡ .　₊ ✦ .　 + .✦ ₊ ‧  ⨯     .⁺   ✦   * 𓂂     ⨯  . ⁺ 　 .

To be Continued

#ike eveland #ike eveland x reader #ike eveland x you #self insert #luxiem #hurt/comfort #quilldren #fanfiction

[upagainstthesunset]

Hi, I'm pretty new to the fourth world so I haven't read everything (including everything by Kirby himself) but I have been wondering about something: a lot of DC writers, especially post Kirby, present the new gods as inherently good/having a tendency towards free will (highfather) or evil/having a tendency towards cruelty and oppression (darkseid), as if this is part of their nature as gods (the same way that say, it's in the nature of Ares to be the god of war for example. He literally exists to wedge war). But at the same time we see instances in the lore of gods switching "sides" like barda leaving apokolips, or even darkseid falling in love with suli and having agreed to change his ways before she died (I was also curious about your take on her and their relationship btw). Orion himself is such a case, but at the same time he seems to be fighting his violent tendencies at times. So are the gods of new genesis "good" and of apokolips "evil" because they are deities and it's part of their nature, or is it a mater of choice?

Sorry if this is a dumb question! From what I've read from Kirby I always felt like it was the later, but you seem much more knowledgeable than me on the subject so I was wondering what's your take on this?

(also sorry if the grammar is weird or if there are any typos, english isn't my first language)

Okay fantastic question, and I think you've read more than you're giving yourself credit for. And I will also admit I haven't read all of Kirby's Fourth World stuff. I've really stuck to New Gods which in all honesty is not that many issues. So I talk big, but I'm also not an expert. I know the stuff I know, but I there's plenty I don't know too.

So my take on it is that as far as original Jack Kirby Fourth World goes, free will is what is good. It's what the Anti-Life Equation seeks to eradicate and why Darkseid believes it will give him ultimate power. Already on Apokolips there's tons and tons of oppression, and Darkseid's rule is more than law. It's the way of life there. Children are raised to live for him, fight for him, die for him. We see that with Scott in Granny Goodness' Orphanage up until the point he meets Himon and escapes. And (spoiler alert) even at the precipice of his freedom, Darkseid very interestingly give Scott a choice to stay and become something greater on Apokolips, or continue running away. There's more to it than this, but I always feel like that's an unexpected twist there at the end.

As for Barda, she grew up on Apokolips and became the head of an elite force under Darkseid. She believed in him, like for a very long time. I'm not up on my Mister Miracle reading, so someone else will have to say for sure, but I gather she may have one of the most complex feelings about what it is to serve Darkseid.

And then we've got an interesting case from New Genesis in the young boy Esak. He was one of the shining youths that Highfather saw as the future. Much later at the end of the story (after Kirby had been truly hurt by DC and probably amongst other life events changed him, as all people change over time), Esak winds up on Apokolips looking to serve Darkseid. He had a tragic accident and bitterness entered his heart to the point where he reveled in the destruction he could cause. And what set him on a course of evil wasn't even Darkseid's doing. It was just a thing that happened.

So all this is to say that I don't think the majority of these characters start good or bad just because of the place they were born to. Many may have tendencies one way or another by blood, but most either fall into whatever society or culture they were brought up in, and a few standouts looked around and decided they wanted something different.

#kateanswers #newgodsmeta #thank you for sending this #anyone else with opinions please do add on!

[marvel-fanfic-lover]

Hey so I've had this idea for a cute little Spencer Reid fic for a while, so I figured I'd give it a try ^-^. Ok so the idea: Reid has a cat at home (maybe Sergio) that's he's gotten into the habit of petting while reading in the evenings. On one particularly late jet flight back from a case, reader is laying asleep (or maybe just relaxing) next to him on the couch while he's reading, and he reaches out and starts petting/scratching her head out of muscle memory. And maybe it happens again and again after that, like an unspoken thing that they both enjoy?? Or maybe it makes things akward between them, as coworkers?? Please take it wherever you see fit. 💜 (but if you're a minor, please dear God do not write me smut, respectfully.)

Just one thing: if you can, could you try not to include anything about skintone? (Turning red, blushing pink. Etc.) Thanks for reading my request!

First off I love this it's so cute, and as a cat owner I love some little mentions of them in fics. Anyways this is my first fic so please no outright hate, but constructive criticism is welcome. I hope this is somewhat close to what you had in mind. Sorry for any typos I suck at spelling.

*Insert clever title here*

Spencer Reid x reader

Me and Spencer had started dating around 3 months ago and we're talking things slow and at a mutually comfortable pace. I knew he was coming home tonight and said I could wait over at his place for him to get back.

I got to his apartment and unlocked the door with the spare key he gave me to check on Sergio when he's away on a case. Sergio immediately greeted me by giving my legs a few friendly head buts. I reached down to rub his cheeks. "hey buddy," I mumbled light to him. Before stepping into the apartment, closing the door, and locking it behind me. Because I knew Spencer wouldn't have liked the idea of me leaving the door unlocked. I placed the keys on the counter before heading over to one of Spencer's many book shelves to find something to read.

After searching for a little bit I found something I hoped would be a non-science or math book, luckily for me it was. It's not that I don't admire science books but I read to help my brain slow down, not to make it wanna explode. Maybe that's just me.

I read for a while checking my phone every five minutes anxious for Spencer to get home just wanting him to be ok. Somewhere amongst the reading, time checking, and worrying I fell asleep.

Spencer pov

I finally got home to my apartment jetlagged and sleep deprived, struggling to get the key in the keyhole open my door. I walked in, set my bag down and locked up the door before heading over to the book shelf to find something to read. I plopped down on my couch before opening my book and starting to pet Sergio on the head.

Reader pov

I started to wake up gently at the feeling of my head being pet and scratched gently. I didn't mind the feeling it wasn't unwelcome, but as I began to become more aware I realized that I was on Spencer's couch in his apartment, and he was mostly likely the one petting my head. I felt my whole face heat up at the realization. On one hand I didn't want him to stop and on the other I felt as though he maybe didn't mean to be petting me. I had noticed him do a similar thing with Sergio on several occasions, I assume in his tired jetlagged state that's what he thought he was doing.

I called out his name gently hoping not to startle him. "Spencer?" "Y/n!?" He exclaimed jumping a little and quickly retracting his hand. I quickly got up from my laying position to try and calm him from his surprise. "Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you I was trying not to," "it's ok I know you didn't mean to," he responded sweetly as he always did. "I'm sorry for petting you as well." He mumbled lightly and very clearly embarrassed by his sleep deprived brain's unconscious actions. "No it's ok, I kinda enjoyed it" I said shyly "You did?" He questioned lightly. "Yeah it was soothing, made me feel calm, at peace." "I could keep doing it... I-if you'd like." He said stumbling over his words a bit. "Yeah that would be really nice." I said giving him a light peck on the lips before laying back down.

From then on it became our thing. When he'd get home from a case we'd sit and read him petting my head while we did. Sometimes he'd read to me, sometimes we'd talk about our days, other times when one of us had a shitty day we'd just sit and find comfort in each other's company. Sometimes I think Sergio got jealous of no longer getting the intention, and would hop up with me to let me pet and scratch his head.

~Ahh first fic I hope it was ok and what you had in mind with the request, and thank you for the request this was really fun and cute to write. If anyone has tips or tricks for writing please let me know. 😄

#spencer reid #cat #spencer reid fic #fluff #requested

[cellsshapedlikestars]

Prompt: Dany and Drogo at bachelor in paradise. Shit gets MESSY :D

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. (but also thank you, this was very fun to write)

First, this is set in the same universe as the last BiP prompt fic that I wrote YESTERDAY because I have no chill and haven't stopped thinking about this prompt since you sent it.

Second... this is from Jon's POV, because there is no way I have the voice down for either Dany or Drogo.

Third, oops Jonsa slipped in there

Fourth, this is much shorter than the other one and I wrote it in like an hour so please ignore any typos I barely edited this

...

read it on ao3 here:

ephemera, chapter 31

...

Jon lounges back on the cabana bed and stares off at the ocean and sips idly at his tequila soda. He almost asked for a beer, which is what he really wanted, but he'd have to chug it, or it would be warm in no time in this heat.

So far, Paradise is pretty much exactly what he expected.

He's not really a fan of the beach. He grew up in Boston and he's much more inclined towards raging snowstorms than this oppressive heat.

Well, he says that now. He knows he'll think differently in the winter, when he's back in Boston and freezing his ass off trying to get to work on roads that aren't safe to drive. But for now he swears heat is worse.

Off in the distance, he can hear shrieks of laughter, and he hopes everyone else is having fun. It's not that he's having a bad time, it's just... exactly what he expected. A beach. A bunch of people he doesn't really have much in common with. Cameras. At least he's getting paid to be here, this time.

The only thing that had thrown him off was their host, but he tries not to think about how he made an absolute ass out of himself when he first arrived. He's almost dreading seeing her again, even though he swears by the end of it, she was flirting back. But if he's being honest, he's terrible at knowing when women are flirting with him. That's why he got along so well with Ygritte – she was direct. She came up to him, told him she wanted him, and that was it. And Alys in high school was mostly the same.

He thinks the host – Sansa, god but her name is pretty – is the first girl he's ever asked out. Every other time, it's been someone asking him. Jon's never put much effort into pursuing anyone before.

He groans and grabs a pillow and plops it over his face, hoping it will block out the glaring sun and maybe he can actually get a nap in. He didn't sleep well - this place doesn't have air conditioning, and he'd tossed and turned all night.

He's just – finally – dozing off when he hears voices. Two of them, male and female, and he wants to groan into the pillow when he realizes they've taken the cabana bed next to his. That means there's cameras here now. They've mostly left him alone while he's been relaxing by himself, but they're always around when there's more than one person. He sort of wishes he'd left his t-shirt on. He's been trying to keep it on as much as possible because he doesn't need more people on the internet talking about him, but he'd taken it off because it's just so fucking hot.

Hopefully the cameras don't see him. He's fairly certain the couple hasn't, considering the tipsy giggle coming from the girl and the wet sounds of kissing.

“You have so many muscles,” the girl says, and Jon can feel his face twist into a grimace. He knows that voice.

When he'd come down yesterday with his date card, he'd done exactly what Sansa told him to and talked to everyone before finally asking Dany. She was gorgeous and not at all subtle about being interested in going on the date with him, which he liked. But on the date itself, he'd watched her get bored of him.

It happens sometimes. Jon's a... well, he feels like maybe he's too normal for a lot of people. Too boring. He remembers one date trying to ease the sting by calling him quiet. And he'd seen it happen with Dany, the moment she realized he wasn't as exciting as the internet tried to make him out to be, though it didn't surprise him. It's exactly what he expected to happen here. By the end of the date, they both agreed they'd had a good time, but there was no romantic spark. And if he's being honest, he's not interested in any of the others romantically, either.

He should leave.

He will at the elimination ceremony, he decides. He'll cut his losses and leave on his own terms. And at least if he makes it to the elimination ceremony, he can see a certain red-headed host again...

“You must work out all the time,” Dany continues, and Jon can tell she's definitely day drunk. He's not surprised – the free sugary drinks combined with the unrelenting sun means everyone's drunk most of the time.

“I have to,” comes a deep voice, and Jon realizes she's with Drogo. Huh. Good for her. Jon can't even blame her for being mesmerized by Drogo's muscles. Jon had been, himself, when they first met. Drogo's one of those people you swear can't be real until you actually see them in person. “I'm the King of the Ring,” Drogo says, like he's quite proud of himself.

Right, Jon remembers. Drogo is a professional wrestler.

And then, with his somehow deep voice dropping even lower, Drogo murmurs, “you could be my Queen.”

Jon tries very hard not to gag behind the pillow that is still covering his face, and he tries to stay as still as possible because he really doesn't want them noticing him now. Dany lets out a happy moan and then there's more wet sounds and Jon would really like it if the earth could open up beneath him and swallow him whole.

He can hear them moving and he wants to remind them that they're on camera. He can't even see them and he knows, somehow, that there's a very heavy makeout session going on in the bed next to him.

This is fucking awkward.

Jon wonders if - while they're distracted - he could roll off the other side of the bed and then crawl his way to freedom. Undignified, maybe, but surely better than staying here.

“What the fuck,” a new voice chimes in, that Jon recognizes as Daario.

“Go away,” Drogo grunts, clearly annoyed.

“So one minute you're with me, then you're with him?” Daario asks, and Jon knows he's talking to Dany, not Drogo. “It's bad enough you went on the date with that mechanic.”

Jon rolls his eyes beneath the pillow at the weak insult. Daario obviously hasn't seen Jon on the next cabana bed over, either.

“I can do what I want,” Dany snaps, and the tone sends a shiver down Jon's spine. He remembers hearing some of the girls say that Dany has a temper, though Jon hadn't seen it on their date.

“She's mine,” Drogo grunts again. It's the best way Jon can describe the way he talks. Grunts and short sentences.

“Excuse me?” Dany seethes, and it takes all of Jon's willpower not to react – he's decided he's going to pretend he slept through this whole thing, so he tries to keep himself still.

“My sun and stars-” Drogo starts, but Jon can hear the other cabana bed creaking as someone stands.

“I don't belong to either of you,” Dany bites out, and then Jon can hear her footsteps retreating.

“Look what you did,” Daario huffs.

“What I did?” Drogo scoffs.

Jon resigns himself to laying here on this bed for a while longer, because the two men devolve into petty macho bullshit that he just knows is going to go on forever.

…

At the next rose ceremony, Dany gives her rose to Drogo and they seem cuddly and sweet together again and Jon has no idea when that happened, though Daario is pouting in the corner.

Mya gives Jon a rose and he debates turning it down – he swore he'd leave – but, well... Sansa's here, and his desire to go home is suddenly a distant memory. She's wearing a blue sundress that's really doing it for him. He knows he's staring at her – hell, he's pretty sure she knows he's staring at her, if the way she keeps glancing over at him and then quickly looking away means anything.

At the end, he manages to slip by all the crew and he steps up next to Sansa as production starts to shut down, and he says, “it's a shame you're off limits.” She turns to face him, eyes wide, lips parted in surprise. “I just think you would've really enjoyed that date, is all,” he shrugs.

God, he probably sounds as cringey as Dany and Drogo had.

Sansa's face flushes red and her eyes dart around, but then he watches her tongue dart out to wet her lips and he thinks – oh.

Maybe she really is into this.

Hope flares painfully in his chest as she turns to look at him again and says, “talking to me is against the rules.”

He deflates a little, and he says, “I can stop, if it's making you uncomfortable?”

It's back, the hope ballooning again as she hesitates, looks around again. “No,” she finally says, it comes out as a shaky whisper, “it doesn't make me uncomfortable.”

Jon can feel himself grin, and he takes a step back and says, “alright. I'll see you next time, then.”

He guesses he's not leaving after all.

…

Jon watches the finale from backstage.

All Sansa had to do was bat her eyes and give him a pout and here he was, agreeing to come out to LA for the live finale. She'd even gotten him to agree to go on stage for a one-on-one interview. She didn't do it to benefit the show, he's pretty sure – no, he's almost certain she wheedled him into doing this simply because she wanted to see him, even if she won't admit it.

It's fine. He'll admit it for the both of them. In fact, he'd admitted it on stage, in front of a live audience.

Either way, he's here, his time on camera is done and over with, and he's watching the final proposals, absolutely baffled as Drogo slips a ring onto Dany's finger.

When Jon left Paradise, they had been fighting again, just like they had been almost the entire time – fighting one minute, dry humping in a cabana the next. And now they're getting engaged, and Jon... well, he has no idea what to think about it. In an odd way, they do compliment each other.

He thinks it could go either way – either they're one of those couples that lasts, or they'll have an explosive breakup in three weeks.

But honestly, he sort of hopes they make it.

#prompt fic #jonsa #technically it's still jonsa #i cannot believe i have written yet ANOTHER bachelor fic #what is wrong with me

[leonstamatis]

7, 14, 54, 81?

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

god i love this question and like, specifically, i love that you have asked me this question hedge because you'll get it. the first fandom i ever wrote for was naruto, back in 2006. i didn't publish the first one anywhere because it was just for my school friends, who played naruto with me at recess sometimes.

(technically i wrote fic before that, but i didn't know that's what i was doing. i'm not counting it. this is the first time i was aware of fanfic and intentionally doing it.)

so anyway, we were all ninjas in the naruto world, and we had romantic subplots with the characters we liked best -- if applicable -- and i don't remember much, other than i was in a fight with a friend at the time, and so my self-insert sneeringly referred to her self-insert as a "prep." the sickest burn i had, at age eleven. she was furious. plot was not a concern of mine, but that sure was.

14. what’s your worst writing habit? 

i don't edit for shit. if you read a fic from start to finish just one time, congratulations, you have done it more than i have. half the time i straight up do not remember what's in there, if it took longer than a couple days and is more than 1.5-2k words.

(this is not quite true for longer works, which i will read through for typos or repeated phrases once, after it has been published. and anything over 20k usually gets at least one read, but i actually don't have many of those. so.)

54. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

i try not to start my works with the word "the." and, in fact, i try to be careful about starting any sentences with "the," because i took poetry classes in college and my professor once tore into me (affectionately) because my lines never started in interesting or dynamic ways -- i put line breaks in natural places in a sentence, which meant lines started with conjunctions or new thoughts, which was very basic and standard and didn't push me very hard. often, my poems as a whole, started with "the." ever since that was pointed out to me, i've tried to avoid doing it out of habit and to really consider how a sentence starts and ends. (i'm not great at this. but i try!)

81. if you could go back in time and give your younger self a piece of writing advice specific to you, what would it be?

just fuckin write, man. i had so many things that never got written because i would spend all of my time thinking about them and planning them out, and never actually writing them down. i still do this with longer works, but i'm better about just putting pen to paper -- or finger to keyboard, as it were -- in order to get some damn words on the page and get things going. a perfectly plotted daydream won't become a fic; a less than perfect paragraph in your writing program of choice just might.

#THANK YOUUUU <3333 #these were fun i liked them #candidateofloyalty #tam.ask #ask meme

[thezoraprince]

bad news: i started writing and its SO bad (so bad)

but so funny, (to my terrible humor). really putting the comedy in romantic comedy i think

firstly, writing takes a LOT of work. and the editing… oh my god

but it's so fun

i spend more time looking at a blank page/screen (or at garbage i've thrown together) than actually writing. half the time i scrap it all and start again. or i'll put it aside and forget about a piece for 6 months (or a year), only to come back to it and revamp the idea completely.

i look back at the writing on one of my old blogs from time to time, and it's HILARIOUS to me that i'm still getting notes on pieces. like, you're gonna tell me that people actually find my typo ridden garbage self-insert pieces enjoyable? tf?

but god do i love cringey writing. it's an art in itself. it's taken me YEARS to formulate story ideas or just little paragraphs that flow well, but i will ALWAYS vouch for the cringey little details.

writing tips no one asked for: - read... read a lot (telling this to myself too, because i'm not an avid reader) - writing prompt notebooks can help you with ideas and styles for sure - outlines are so much fun to put together honestly - watch shows/movies or listen to music for inspiration - writing classes are so much fun - don't strain yourself. if you get stuck, move on and come back to it later (it could be 20 minutes, it could be a year...) - sometimes starting over completely is your best option - and cringe is OKAY!!!!! (again, i love cringeworthy material. it makes me smile so much)

i have so many drafts of pieces on my computer that i need to finish, and you sending me this gave me some motivation to work on them :') thank you

if you ever want to share anything with me, please know that my inbox is always open!!

#this really makes me want to start posting my old diary entries because of how CRINGE they are lmaooo #i love cringe okay??? #it's beautiful #asks #anon #writing community #writing tips #writing things #<3

[writingforatwistedworld]

HEY! I really need some help, but since I don't know many people here, you seemed like a more affordable option.

I was writing about some of the boys from Twisted Wonderland, but when it got to the Malleus part, my mind went blank. He's not one of my favorite characters and I don't do much research on him. Could you give me tips on how to characterize it, please?

Oh God this took so much time...

This is my interpretation of Malleus. You could have a different opinion than me (just saying before someone jumps at me and says that I'm just wrong and messed up and that their cute, cute dragon could never be like that.)

WARNINGS: loneliness, death, unhealthy relationship, idk this whole thing us just a huge outcry for help from him in my eyes

I also did this on my phone so... typos guaranteed.

Relationship to others

Malleus is very lonely. This is no secret. The game tells us very early on that he is being avoided by others. But in my opinion it goes even further. Silver, Sebek, Lilia and his grandmother are the ones closest to him as far as we know (could be that there is another character that isn't released yet). But no, I think there is even a distance between him, Lilia, Sebek and Silver and if you ask me, Lilia is the one who is at fault for this one. Lilia raised Silver as his son and Sebek was also very close to him his entire life. Now think about it, how do they behave around Malleus? Yes, ofc they dare to talk to him and don't avoid him but... what I'm seeing is pretty cold. They aren't those BFFs that we see at the first glance. They are literally servants and admirers. Nothing more. They put him on an unreachable pedestal and don't even try to approach him on an even more casual level. This is where I want to scream at Lilia. He was the one who practically raised these two with how much time they spend with him. Heck Silver attends school with his father! So Lilia is in my eyes the one who created the distance. Had he told his son “respect that one but try to be friends” when he was still young their relationship would probably look very different. That professionalism would always be there but maybe, just maybe, Malleus would have had a true friend. Sebek... I can't really say completely in his case that Lilia is entirely at fault here. The thing is, he has a grandfather. I read somewhere that this grandfather was supposed to be some sort of military figure in the past as well but I can't find it again so I can't say that this is 100% true but if it is then maybe that grandfather made him so obsessed with Malleus. Who knows? But if not, wtf Lilia are you trying to isolate Malleus bc if you did then congrats, your plan worked. Lilia is also another can of worms we need to talk about. Lilia said that he took care of Malleus. Ok great but Lilia also raised Silver and not in the castle where Malleus grew up. Nope. In a village in the middle of nowhere. My man just said "Bye, see u again sometime in the future" to a already lonely person. Maybe Lilia didn't put much thought ij it but... uh... he failed him in my opinion.

Malleus granny? Idk we don't know much about her but I would give her 5 out of 5 stars for the good granny award. Takes over a kingdom again so he can live normally (or something close to that) for once and even writes him letters when she is already busy.

So yeah. And the servants in the castle? Probably not warm towards him as well. Most likely just plain, cold master-servant relationship.

So ofc it's no wonder he accepts Yuu immediately and likes them so much. Imagine, accepting a silly nickname from someone you met once before. He must be starving for affection at this point.

His "haughty" behavior

I would say this is because he never learned how to have a normal conversation. This is bc of two points which the second one is so not 100% secure. One, would you talk casually to the fifth most powerful magician in the world totally normal without fear? And two, here I can't be too sure but I, once more, read somewhere that he has never left the castle before coming to NRC. So yeah, everything he ever did in terms of communication was either cold servant talk which didn't last longer than a few minutes at best and conversations with his family. We don't know much about his parents so.... yeah. Granny was probably busy with the kingdom so... can't be too long those convos...

So yeah... if everything you do is based upon ordering you might come off as haughty and basically weird.

"He is just lonely and in truth he is a fluffy dragon."

I see this kind of thing so many times in fanfic about him which I can't agree with.

No absolutely not. Malleus isn't "fluffy" and "just" lonely. Malleus is a huge possibile threat that can wipe out huge masses of people in a short period of time. Also, do you think that someone who was raised in a way so that they can be a authority in the future would be like your friendly, flower loving neighbour? No, he just likes roses but forget that "friendly" part. We can actually see this in his conversations with Leona. Let's take his ceremonial robes story as a example. Leona was unfriendly, and Malleus retaliated. Not in your typical "you mean so I am mean" way but with trying to intimidate him. Have you seen those eyes and his choice of words? That isn't your typical fight. It's a learned way to get what you want and crush your enemy. (It didn't work on Leona though bc... yeah let's say bc it's Leona and it's a completely different analysis but laziness of mine.) The only way why Malleus behaves somewhat friendly towards the player (and if we look really long at his words they aren't even taht friendly) is because he is, like I already said, starving for attention.

But Veil didn't you just say that it's wrong what he is "just" lonely. What I think is being misunderstood is how lonely he truly is. If I'm saying "just" then I'm talking about someone who is stuck in their room working on something and bc their job js so time consuming the haven't met friends in a while. But Malleus, uh... no. Some meetings, a nice "Hi, how is it going?" is far from the solution. I would even say that it has gone so far that he is a potential danger if someone were to take Yuu away. Need a example? His lab story coat. His tamadochi (is that how you write it in English?) is being broken. Now, it's not a person but we can see how sad be gets over that and most importantly, how attached he is to a thing that was never even alive. A simulation of something alive. A something that would give him the feeling that there is something alive close to him which isn't distant. See the desperation there? He doesn't just say "Oh well, how sad" and then buys a new one. Oh no. He repairs it. And, I never took care of such a pet and I see that some might get attached to it but he rewards Deuce with fricking rare ore. He even asks if that is too little like bro, that attachment isn't normal anymore. Don't give me "He just doesn't know the value of repairing it bc it's a machine." I think that this was done out of great gratitude which can be compared with a doctor saving their patient in a critical state and their family thanking him. For Malleus, Deuce just saved a living being and... how lonely do you have to be to feel that way?

I hope this helped. Have a great day/night!