#god ok what is happening rn

[hhow-queer]

(there is no hesitation) i’m gonna claw my eyes out

#yes that was intentional #my god i can’t deal w them rn #IM SO PANICKED WHAT IS HAPPENING #i just want them to be ok.. #hhow listens to tma #tma #the magnus archives #elias bouchard #more like elias bastard #jonah magnus #jonathan sims #jon sims #mag 158 #tma s4 #jonmartin #jmart

[dizzybizz]

man it's him the man

#fkn hate this guy (giggles n kicks my feet whenever he appears) god i cant stand him #but actually he can go fuck off #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #niklaus hendrix #my art #im in too deep in this hyperfixation its like so bad i had dreams from separate nights abt it that were connected #it was like a continuation it was so weird fnc kissed for a second time is all that happened really #ok cus first one was that happening in an ep n then i woke up confused n then next night i had a dream i was sitting watching an ep n the e #ents from that previous dream just played out n i was like “what the fuck it was real” #but it wasnt real at all it was just my subconscious pranking me #anywayfs d oyou like the sparkles in the full moon for forf orofor the trio :) i cant rn im so destroyed uhm uhuh uhhhhgng

[m00ngbin]

Guess what FUCKING DAY IT IS

#smtwo thursday #OK SO. WE LEFT OFF WITH TOME AND REIGEN AND SERIZAWA GETTING THROUGH TO MOB #AND OBVIOUSLY HES LIKE DEVESTATED #i would be too i would lose my mind #Serizawa got away THANK. GOD. #KITTEN WHAT ABOUT THE KITTEN WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN TO IT DID IT LEAVE TOO?? IS MOB GONNA GET IT OUT OF THERE BEFORE HE LOSES HIS SHIT? #is Mob going to beat Teru's ass (deserved) #whats happening with shou? WHERES RITSU?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING WITH TOICHIROU RN??? #DID HE WAKE UP #IS HE ALONE #OH wait no i think Rei is still there #yeah Rei's still there #will she be able to stop him from leaving if he wakes up? probably not but at least hes not by himself rn #will i lose my mind this chapter? #idk #all WONDERFUL questions that im sure I'll have some of the answers to by the end of this chapter #youd better believe im keeping you updated

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[the-toybox-general]

You know, a weapon that doesn't fight... is kind of a product of a better time here in the factory! Resources can't exactly be wasted so willy-nilly nowadays! But what he does lack in conventional bow mechanics - he makes up for in magic ability and... at least strength enough to throw a table at you! he's definitely also still got that inherent bow accuracy!

◆~ Crest got a bit of a redesign color wise! These colors still may change, but who's to say! Clicker is the next one on the list... I owe it to a certain anon after all! /pos !!

#Toybox-Arts #Super Mario RPG #Smrpg #Oc #Crest #do you like... his aeros... they never get screentime #because he hates messing up his hair LOL #what happened to the other crest reference you were working on chess??? #gonna be honest folks. i lost it #BUT ITS OK im so much art stronger now look at how nice he looks #FOR REAL these colors may change . im so moody about my bow oc colors #but i rlly like these rn... <3 #ok enough tag rambling oh my god

[neo-shitty]

finally catching up with bsd after one hell of a month (+ midterms) 🫠

#bsd spoilers #updates for ep 2 :3 #right off the bat all i can just say is fukuchi is such a well-written villain; while i can’t completely emphathize with his plan yet #i have to applaud him (uh and asagiri too) bc that’s quite a villain to fear—he’s already in a position of power that puts him in a major #advantage compared to the ada; it’s like he masterminded this whole thing to lead up to this but WHY (idk if i just forgot) #point and case: i hate him and im always terrified of his next move but damn he’s such a well-written antagonist i can’t even 🤐 #ATSUSHI GET OFF THAT FUCKING BOAT RN WHY DID IT HAPPEN SO EARLY INTO THE SEASON IM CRY WAIT NO #fukuchi pointing out that ranpo is just jealous that he and fukuzawa way back is just so adorable made me forget what happens next haha #how come i dont remember these cute moments from the manga 😩 #god im stalling so much :(( i hate it i hate it i hate it #the reveal was so… he should’ve deducted this shit sooner (objectively the build up was so nice hsjdhdj) #MY JAW DROPPED THEN AND IT STILL HAPPENED NOW :))))) #ok fukuchi in his complete villain mode is kinda 😗 #watching this after being detached to bsd in general is so much better bc i can now appreciate the whole thing as is without much bias??? #THE WAY HE JUST TURNED COLD ALL OF A SUDDEN AND I OOP— 😗😗😗😗😗 #oh both canon and beast atsushi and their paralyzing fears :(( my heart actually hurts #ATSUSHI THINKING HE’S ALONE ANDDDDDD #OH MY GOD I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE MY SSKK #I CANT WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE #toff.txt

[dirgeforworms]

KINK DISCOURSE IN THE WAR CRIMES FANDOM.

#fandom #call of duty #call of duty tumblr fandom u are fucking insane please realize by nature being a CoD fan makes you problematic(TM) (she is also a CoD fan) #like hello how many of you have actually PLAYED CoD I am playing MW 2019 rn and it's SO MUCH oh god it makes my skin crawl #and is simultaneously super fun. haha my blorbos! #here. for you. does a scene when you shoot what you think is an unarmed woman in the back as she runs from you- #-only for the game to go. literally. via a character. “nah dude it's ok she was going for a detonater” #sit well with you? does it? #have you thought critically about this? I have!! I am being psychologically tormented by propaganda during my gaming downtime!! #like please analyze what CoD is saying about the west's relationship to terrorism as a whole (it's progaganda) #especially when real war crimes are happening very much literally right now #your house is made of glass!!!!!! leave the perverts alone!!! #as a kinkster I have analyzed this and am fully prepared to look at pics of hot soldiers for smut #military #discourse

[pepprs]

feeling misery and despair about going back to work btw. im trying to suppress it and i did a good job but the inevitable is inevitable

#purrs #i had like 3 massive breakdowns at the end of the week incl one on friday when i was off. and then i was like ok. i am literally weak and sh #shaking from all of that let me just pretend none of it happened. and i did!!! i pretended so well that i have felt basicslly normal all #weekend. i played a lot of video games and i even went out twice.. once to a chorus concert on campus (which is big bc being on campus ummmm #is deeply agitating to me rn ♥️) and today to home depot w my family to wander around the plants and hear the birds. i am suppressing things #and i know i am but if i don’t think about thst i feel so normal. except now it’s 11:16 on a sunday night and i have work tomorrow. and i #know most of the horrors are over but there are still so many more fucking horrors ahead. saying goodbye to people i love and anniversaries #of things happening including today being the 4 year anniversary of a certain email lol. and i can FEEL the difference. the way my stomach #is in knots bc weekends are only so long (even long ones) and i can only hold back the horrors for a little while. it’s all temporary. augh. #i literally need like a whole month off i think. idk. work stuff has fucked up my mental health beyond belief this year and it’s so sad bc t #this is my dream job but im in so much mental pain and physical exhaustion constantly and they beget themselves and by the end of the week #im miserable. but the semester is about to end. but what if it doesn’t get better bc EVERY single god damn time we talk about how it’s gonna #get better it quite literally gets worse lol 💖 i can’t im not strong enough. coming up on 5 years here and im not fucking strong enough! #but i will heal eventually i think. i just need the horrors to cease for long enough for me to catch my breath (and other redacted things ♥️

[imreallyloveleee]

Having one of those "why do I feel so grumpy and shitty? Oh right...I haven't eaten in 7 hours" kinda days

#i finished all my freelance work which is great #I'm going to visit friends tomorrow/sat which is great #but i feel in this very weird liminal space where i don't know what to do with myself #which is how I've been feeling a lot these past several weeks! it's just especially pronounced today #we're flying to the Philippines on Monday night and it doesn't feel like a real thing that's happening #idk idk my life is SO weird rn #the one upside was having a burst of fic productivity lol #ok I'll stop having a conversation with myself via the tags of a tumblr text post now #god can you imagine if i wasn't funny... no one would put up with me 😉

[kutyozh]

need my therapist to give me a detailed description of how i need to feel in order to justify taking a pill

#. sorry if the wording is weird I'm Anxiety rn #. like ok they gave me three different options but which option do i take at which stage?? #. am i Anxious Enough for level 2? #. what happens if i choose the wrong one #. god #hospital life #personal #tw anxiety #r.txt

[saintedbythestorm]

Not dad trying to tell me about some big fallout news he heard about from some work colleague 😂 oh what the poor man just subjected himself too.

#it was about that leak from weeks ago. dad got quite the details about it. he walked right into that one. #and that dear sir is why we do not try to bring news about the hyperfixation. i will know about it and you will hear about it. #dude even got the history of fallout 3 as a bonus. since that was the one he mentioned 😂 #he also got a very veeeery long version about why i would necessarily get so excited about the leaks. #you know age of the document. the whole company sale thing. how much the time line clearly has already gone to shit. etc etc etc. #yeah... yeah i think he really came to regret that one 😅 #listen i have only slept 5 hours. am high on caffeine and painkillers- almost had a migraine ok. #which means i have like 0 filter rn and am quite brain tired. i will not realise how long i am going on for once i get started rn. #the info dump has started and it will end when i brain says so. i sure af won't notice I am doing it cause I'm just excited to share #not until i manage to like finish my long ass story do i realise i went on for like a good 20-30 minutes... oops. #and that may just be a generous estimate cause i got really going on the infodump ok. it was a blast. ngl. #i am very passionate about fallout ok. this is what happens when you fall asleep to fallout lore most days of the week. #yes i lost the plot ages ago about this hyperfixation. it makes me very happy. so i don't even care. i will keep doing it. #til the hyperfixation dies and bring great sadness to the lands... til we find something else. god knows when that is though. #i am very ok if fallout hyperfixation just... doesn't go away actually. i like hyperfixation. brings many a solution when upsetty. #.... i really need to stfu up now. hi. 👋 why are you still reading this??? these ramblings of a madman. 😂 #ryder speaking #i got this far before i realised i did not in fact write wouldn't get excited... well i aint fixing it now 🙃

[autistic-katara]

why did my dysphoria have to choose right now to get rlly bad-

#i have fucking swimming lessons in like an hour where due to my fucking mother being there the gendered stuff is gonna be 10x worse #honest to god if i’m forced to use the womens changing room i will run into a busy road #god i fucking hate my mum nd her casual transphobia #like she’ll call me ryan (if i’m there + she’s not talking to my friend’s terf mum or my grandma) #but honest to god everything else is just- #like she uses she/they pronouns on me nd ALWAYS looks in the women’s section when sending my links for clothes #(even for shit like a t-shirt) #when i mentioned wanting to medically transition in the future she went all “noooo ur gonna ruin ur body for nothing !!” #and i think my grandma told her i used the mens bathroom that one time #bcz a couple weeks ago when she was telling me abt bathrooms at this place she was like #“and they have a gn toilet too but PLEASW don’t use the mens bathroom ok 🥺🥺🥺” #(i did later out of spite) #(also bcz i needed the toilet but yk) #and that’s not even mentioning what had to happen for her to change from [deadname] she/her to ryan she/they #and even then theres more that i can’t completely remember rn it’s just so fucking infuriating #stg one day i’m gonna yell at her (over text bcz i hate confrontation-) abt alla this nd block her but that’ll have to wait until i’m older #anyways yeah fuck everything i just wanna see my friend bro when r u free- #cw dysphoria #cw transphobia #trans #ig this is a vent- #as always feel free to rb idc #ryan shut the fuck up

[bylertruther]

thinking about how lonnie only ever cared about will when he died and that was just to profit off of his death + will giving a girl he doesn't know his toy truck just because she's crying and he thinks she needs it more even if he knows joyce can't buy him another one + one of the very first things will did upon waking up in the hospital was ask if jonathan was okay + will telling them to close the gate in season two even though he's part of the hivemind and that would've killed him, too + will breaking his own heart by confessing his feelings and giving mike the painting he's spent so long on but saying that all of it came from el thus sacrificing his own wants and self to again help others + how that same selflessness and self-sacrificing nature of his is going to undoubtedly rear its head in season five again because he's at the center of it all and it all goes back to him and vecna is a creature that feeds off of n fans the flames of pain and guilt... feelin very scared n anxious in this chili's tonight over this actually 😳

#he is NOT going to die obviously clearly we know this they're not killing kids #BUT. #i'm just saying.... i don't think it would be crazy for him to feel guilty and like maybe this wouldn't have happened if... #well... u kno.. :( #he would never give up bc that's literally his whole thing that he's a fighter and a survivor #but. he does love his friends and his family. and he has been willing to die if it meant saving them before so like. yanno. #BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN I'M JUST SAYING THE ANGST IS LIKELY GOING TO BE THERE #AND THEN OFC EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY WILLIAM SHUT UP SIT DOWN AND GO TO TIME OUT #and then we'll get some good n scrumptious hurt/comfort ok no one stone me i'm knocking on wood ok i Kno #just imagine will proposing that and everyone immediately says NO and mike especially gets pissed #because he's SICK and TIRED of fucking losing will every single time he thinks he's got him back #and god dammit he's already seen what life is like without will there he's not going to do it again he's NOT #don't go where i can't follow + crazy together + it was the best thing i've ever done + it's hawkins it's not the same without you #versus closegate + el commissioned it + she needs you and she always will #mike who is clutching onto will for dear life unwilling to let him go and will who is all too willing to #walk through the gates of hell if it means saving everyone he's ever loved and putting them out of their misery #but of course there's a better plan and letting will die is like killing a puppy it's like taking a sledgehammer to the foundation of #everything yanno. without heart we'd all fall apart n u can't beat the darkness without the light #anyway. can u tell i'm procrastinating editing my fic rn n thats why im writing epic poems in these tags <3 #mine

[mangoisms]

guys i’m so scared

#but GOD. bruce’s ‘not again’ #the clear urgency. enough to forgo any pride or hang ups about asking others to help. trying to call for wally #(and not to be That Person but what about clark… maybe… but i could also see him being preoccupied with protecting lois and bruce not #wanting to make him choose/or being aware of that) #but i’m SO scared rn i KNOW what happens!!!! Ok!!! but they’ve been building up to this so well!!!!!

[kimmkitsuragi]

playing disco elysium finally and uh. tell me the game takes a turn towards a dating sim and i can romance kim kitsuragi

#i liked him from the start but then we parted when he took the body to the station from the fridge :( #I was like okay no kim for today ok i get it :(( #but then i decide to settle some personal tasks while he's gone and i fucking PASS OUT due to emotional breakdown lmao #and he comes immediately like hmm hmm drink some water. yes i came back. tell me what happened. hmm drink more water u dumbass #and I was like 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #and just now how he showed that racist driver what's good and he was sooo cool he's so cool in general i love him #this game is soooooooo fucking good omg #(drops in here for the first time in days to say this and leaves again) #(oh and i should get my shit together im playing games as a sad form of escapism while i have Things to do. god.) #(I need to get my shit together FR like where's that volumetric shit compressor when u need it irl) #(uggggggghhhhhhhhhhh im so annoyed by myself im procrastinating My Life basically rn like I need to snap out of it at some point....) #(hopefully sooner than later 🤠😭) #🗒 #disco elysium

[astrxealis]

good nighty night ^_^

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #sleepy... but no..... #i'm growing crazy again this happens. a lot of nights for many reasons #rn it's bcs i'm sneezing :/ and bcs i'm quite sleepy lol but i don't feel sleepy too #anyway. gn. to astarion and my oc apollo (and everyone else) <33 #oh right i'm writing for them rn btw. sorry to be self-indulgent. #it's just quite vague and a load of prose but i like it yayy ok hn GOD i'm tired #GN* #what is hn! hood night #sounds ominous . truly your world is forever night when you have a hood and- (gets shot)