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#god i used to be SO bitter about relationships irl around me i was an asshole
noassparetime · 1 year
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one more time .
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leon kennedy x fem﹗ reader .
warnings : smut﹐ p in v﹐ unprotected sex﹐  creampie . praise kink . dominant leon .
summary : smut and barely a plot . i love ada irl dont hate me .
word count : 1820
NO MINORS UNDER THE CUT . THANK YOU .
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leon kennedy . the pretty boy rookie cop turned special us agent . you ' d heard the stories about him and claire redfield surviving raccoon city﹐ and you ' d be lying if you said you weren 't impressed . your track record was just as impressive﹐ having pulled of multiple missions the military refused to take on .
which is exactly why you were the perfect one to be teamed up with him . he was cold﹐ sometimes rude and mostly shut off﹐ not that you minded . you preferred his silence over any other partner you ' ve had in the past .
it was simpler with him﹐ never having to make small talk﹐ never having to come up with smart answers to cocky questions﹐ just a simple nod﹐ a few instruction sentences and a glance would be enough communication to last you hours .
it was a slow night on the mission﹐ so the two of you mutually decided that a drink couldn ' t hurt . you and the blind man headed over to a little place down the street﹐ a chuckle falling from his lips upon reading the name﹐ Scott ' s Tavern . you ' d be lying if you said you weren ' t attrscted to him﹐ he was handsome﹐ strong and knew what he wanted . from what you had been told﹐ his history with women had been less than good﹐ ada wong ' s name popped up a couple of times . god how you hated that woman . she had been the reason one of your missions went south﹐ sabotaging you around every corner﹐ and even betraying you in the end . you were bitter about the subject – but then again﹐ you had every right to be .
leon ' s hand rested on the small of your back as he led you to a table﹐ taking the initiative to glare at all the men giving you disgusting looks . the place wasn ' t exactly the four seasons﹐ but it had alcohol and that was enough . like a perfect gentleman﹐ leon pulled your chair out for you﹐ pushing it back in gently as you sat down . you thanked him quietly as he took his own seat﹐ a waitress making her way to your table .
you didn ' t like the way she looked at him﹐ her eyelids fluttering﹐ laughing at all his horrible jokes that in reality barely constituted as such . you rolled your eyes as she walked away with your orders﹐ swaying her hips ever so slightly .
❛ someone ' s jealous . ❜ his voice broke the silence﹐ his eyes staring into your soul .
❛ i ' m not jealous . ❜ you scoffed﹐ crossing your arms over your chest . your eyes met his﹐ a lump forming in your throat . ❛ why are you looking at me like that﹖❜
❛ like what﹐ [Y/N]﹖ ❜ the agent questioned﹐ feigning cluelessness . his hands were on the table﹐ his fingers intertwined .
❛ never mind . ❜ you dismissed the subject﹐ the waitress making her way back to your table﹐ placing your drinks in front of you . she tried flirting with him again﹐ but he didn ' t seem to give her the time of day .
a few drinks and a few hours later﹐ your confidence grew﹐ you ' d questioned him about his time in raccoon city﹐ his relationship with claire and the one you were most curious about﹐ ada wong . leon had begged you to just drop the subject﹐ yet you insisted . you wanted information on her﹐ something you could use to inevitably be the cause of her downfall .
❛ [ Y/N ]﹐ i ' m warning you . ❜ he spoke sternly .
❛ oh﹐ come on﹐ leon . loosen up a bit . this is the first break we ' ve had in a while . i ' m just trying to have some fun .❜ you groaned﹐ setting your glass on the table . ❛ besides﹐ you ' re way too good for her anyway . ❜
his gaze shifted from the table to you﹐ brows furrowing in confusion as he tried to make sense of your words .
❛ what﹖❜ he questioned﹐ not wanting to believe it .
❛ come on﹐ let ' s face it﹐ she betrayed you﹐ left you﹐ twice . that isn ' t fair . she broke your heart and made you think she was dead – ❜ your words were cut off by his lips crashing into yours . before you could react﹐ your body instinctively reacted to his﹐ kissing back hungrily as your fingers entangled in his hair .
his hands found your face as he pulled away from you﹐ blue hues staring you down .
❛ you talk too much﹐ you know that right﹖❜ he asked﹐ a lught chuckle audible in his tone .
❛ i ' ve been told﹐ but you have one hell of a way to shut me up . ❜ you giggled . your eyes wandered down his body﹐ his black shirt clinging to his figure . fuck he was a sight to behold . his bulge was clearly visible through his jeans﹐ thus sparking the bright idea to tease him and see where it went .
your hand rested on his thigh﹐ slowly inching its way upwards﹐ your eyes reconnecting with his﹐ not daring to look away . his body stiffened﹐ making you wonder how many women have ever taken charge with him before . his hand wrapped around your wrist﹐ gently raising it off his leg . you withdrew immediately .
❛ i ' m sorry – ❜ you spoke﹐ looking down in embarrassment . his fingers caught your chin﹐ lifting your face to look at him again .
❛ bathroom﹐ now . ❜ he tugged you out of your seat﹐ leading you to the back of the building .
as soon as the door shut behind you﹐ your chest connected with the wall﹐ leon ' s hand on your hip﹐ the other already working on the button of your jeans .
❛ you have no idea how long i ' ve waited for this [ Y/N ] . ❜ he spoke as he shoved your pants and panties down﹐ leaving you bare in front of him .
leon knelt down﹐ spreading you open to get a good look at that perfect pussy of yours . jesus christ﹐ what he wouldn ' t give to take his time with you﹐ but there would be another opportunity for that .
slowly﹐ leon sunk a finger into your cunt﹐ feeling its warmth wrap around him﹐ a moan slipping from your lips . he was mesmerised by how responsive you were to him﹐ how your body reacted to his touch .
❛ that good﹐ baby﹖❜ he cooed as he stood up﹐ his finger pumping in and out of you at a torturous pace .
❛ ye – mhm. . . ❜ you nodded﹐ your eyes shut﹐ taking in the moment﹐ but you needed more . you needed him . ❛ leon﹐ please. . . ❜ you begged﹐ needing to feel more .
without a word﹐ his finger slid from your core﹐ immediately tugging at his belt﹐ his pants dropped seconds later . the blond stroked his length as he stepped closer to you﹐ aligning himself with your entrance .
your hands were pressed to the cold wall as you mentally prepared yourself to be split apart by the great leon kennedy .
❛ deep breath﹐ sweetheart . ❜ he whispered into your ear as he pushed in slowly .
leon took his time﹐ seething into you﹐ feeling every crevice of your cunt . a moan clawed its way up your throat as he filled you up and split you apart so easily . he wrapped an arm around your waist﹐ pulling you into him as he started thrusting . slow movements followed as he rolled his hips﹐ reaching deeper than anyone ever had before .
soon enough﹐ his pace picked up and his thrusts became heavier and harder . cervix kisses teased you closer and closer to insanity as he slammed into you . his lips latched onto your neck﹐ marking you as his own .
your small hands gripped onto his arm as a string of moans and profanities fell from your swollen lips﹐ lips he would give anything to see wrapped around cock as he slid down your pretty little throat .
❛ fuck﹐ baby . you sound so fucking good . ❜ he moaned into your ear﹐ praising your actions﹐ encouraging you to be more vocal .
your moans got louder and louder as you neared your climax﹐ prompting leon to clasp his hand over your mouth . the way your body fit so perfectly in his comforted you in a way you never knew you needed .
soon enough﹐ your walls tightened around his shaft﹐ the knot in your stomach growing tighter as he pounded into you . your nails dug into his skin﹐ leaving angry red marks in their wake .
❛ leon﹐ please . . . ❜ you said﹐ barely a whisper﹐ the only thing you got from him was a grunt﹐ you took it as a yes .
once your orgasm hit﹐ your vision blurred as your legs shook﹐ your grip on his arm tightening as you pressed your hips into his . a throaty moan fell from his lips as your cunt practically sucked his cock in﹐ threatening to never let go .
with one last thrust﹐ leon hit his peak﹐ his seed flooding your womb﹐ leaving you breathless as the warmth spread . leon picked you up gently﹐ turning you around so his back was against the wall .
the man slid down﹐ cradling you gently as he held you﹐ comforting you as you both came down from your highs . your head rested on his shoulder﹐ in turn﹐ his rested upon yours .
❛ i should ramble more often. . . ❜
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sleeby-anon · 7 months
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Wilbur Soot x Aromantic!Reader: Seems Like All Our Friends Abruptly Fell in Love
Based on one very heartfelt chat in the discord server, the writing gods have blessed me with the powers of inspiration. This is my not a love letter to my baby AroSpecs--I see you. You are so freaking valid and amazing.
Also my submission to the CFT writing event. prompts 1 and 23. One bed, and Oblivious Pining, Requited Unrequited. @drop-of-void
Any and all names used for other characters are random and have no irl basis.
Gender neutral reader, no use of y/n. Hurt/comfort, fluff. Should be sfw.
"--Okay but how do you get them in the mood though--because I want to, but I don't really know how."
"Oh well I usually make direct eye contact, kiss them quick, and pull back a little, just to get them wanting more, then I--"
You sipped on your soda. The little straw had chewing marks right where you had been gnawing on it for the past hour. You had tried to keep yourself busy--looking at your phone, fetching more snacks, and offering to wash literally anything--but this conversation was just not ending.
It had started off with an innocent enough question, and now everyone in the room was talking about their romantic experience. Which was fine! Just fine-- So completely fine!! Except you hadn't actually said anything contributing-wise for the past three hours.
Honestly, you could have just left. You could have sat in your hotel room on a social media endless scroll. You could have made an excuse, said your basement flooded, or that your mother needed help with her email again--Boomers amiright?
But your mother was at the salon, You didn't have a basement, Your phone was at 12%. and this was the first conversation you were having with these people in about a year.
You could have tried changing the conversation--but this was the first passionate conversation your friends had during the entire getaway trip. They deserved to catch up too--and even if you had butted in with some comment about current events--one of your favorite bands or anything else--it would have pivoted right back to this. You continued listening to the conversation--that left you feeling like the biggest fifth wheel.
And instead, here you were, with a flat soda, a chewed-up straw, and the people around communicating about their dating life happily. You had brought it up once, how isolating these conversations were for you--how bitter those talks made you feel. And it was acknowledged--except it did not feel like that memo had been recieved at this moment.
"--Oh my god! Have I told you how we met yet?"
"No? Spill it!"
"Okay so he was in my nursing class, and he always sat in front of me--when ever he would turn around, he had this cute little note ready for me about the professor or some rando acting up--And I just knew--looking at him, that he was gonna be the one."
Love at first sight? Was that actually a thing? You thought that was just exaggerated in hollywood movies.
"How did you, 'just know?'" You asked, "Don't you have to talk to them or something first?" All heads turned to you and looked at you with a sympathetic face.
You hated that face. It condescended, "Oh poor ickle thing--they are so naive--never been in love"
"I just did--I don't know how else to say it." The person said with an awkward laugh. You smiled back (it felt more like a wince) and the conversation continued once again--without you.
"By the way how is that relationship going with whats-his-face, its been a year or so hasnt it?"
"Oh yeah he broke up with me a few months back--he said he needed to find himself." You frowned.
"Isn't this the same guy that made you pay his rent?" You asked.
"Well yeah."
"Wasn't he the one that got you into that car crash?"
"That wasn't his fault."
"Yeah, but it was on your insurance--didn't you have to pay the increase in rates?"
"He was in a rough place."
You deadpanned and looked at the rest of the group. Of course, they all conveniently said nothing and avoided eye contact. This pissed you off. Of course, the one time when discussing relationships and they avoided it.
"I know it sounds bad but he was really nice and he was really a great guy."
"I bet." You added--trying to add a light-hearted tone--but it came off as disbelieving.
"You never met him--he was really sweet--but now I'm just sad, single, and lonely." She said jokingly on that last part. You inhaled through your nose. The way she phrased those words felt like a slur. You had half a mind to yell out, "What the fuck is wrong with being single huh? Does this make me sad and lonely?!
You knew however she would have rolled her eyes and responded, "That's different. You don't get it." No point in opening that can of worms. You looked at your phone and saw a text from your roommate Wilbur.
Wiblur Scoot: Hope you are having fun!! Btw where are the paper towels--I know you just bought some last weekend but I cant find them
You smiled a little to yourself and looked up. The conversation had gone back to the dating life.
You: Check the supply closet behind the cleaning things
Wiblur Scoot: found them
Wiblur Scoot: thx ;)
You put your phone away and went back to chewing on your straw. The conversation had changed to another recalling her newest boyfriend.
"And as I was leaving, he apologized to me for spraining his ankle--because he couldn't help me get my stuff in the car."
"Oh my god that literally so sweet."
"Yeah, and it took me an extra hour to leave just because he wanted extra cuddling time to make up for it all--So sorry about that!" She laughed, and then the rest of the group laughed too. You stayed silent and chewed on your lower lip.
So that was why you had to wait an extra hour to leave--because she was cuddling with her boyfriend. Even though you had reminded everyone to be at the rendevous point early or on time so you could get on the road before the early morning commute traffic hit.
"Oh my god--are those your first hickies?" Some pointed out and your friend just laughed.
"Yeah, he wanted to leave me a parting gift before I left." You noticed the purple and uneven bruises littered along her neck. A physical reminder of her lover.
It felt almost voyeuristic to keep looking at the marks. You looked back at your glass. The ice was sitting there and you grabbed a cube and started munching. Anything to distract you from this nightmare conversation. Your phone buzzed again.
Wiblur Scoot: Sorry again to bother you, but what day do you get back again? Ive got Tommy being a shit and I need to tell him the day you will be back so he will get off my ass
You smiled and went to respond until someone piped up.
"What's got you all grinning?" You looked up like a deer in the headlights.
"Uh, me?" You asked.
"yeah you, who has you all gushy?" They grinned. You looked at their glass. They already had a few drinks tonight.
"Oh, just my roommate. He's asking about when I'm getting back." You replied.
"He?" Everyone in the group looked at you excitedly. You fell your dread spike at where you knew this conversation was heading.
"Yes, My roommate is a dude, he's chill." You said cautiously.
"--And they were roommates!" One of your friends snickered.
"So tell us about this roommate." One of your other friends said piping up. She looked at you expectantly, While the others were looking at you and each other occasionally. The little glances they were giving each other felt like one massive inside joke that you weren't in on.
Except you knew exactly what they were insinuating. And you didn't like this inside joke at all.
It wasn't the first time that someone had suggested you and Wilbur were probably dating. The very thought of it made you sick to your stomach and your anxiety spike.
You didn't like Wilbur like that. He didn't like you like that. The two of you had made this very clear to each other. You told him flat out that you were aromantic the first time he had asked if you had a partner. It eased a small burden between the two of you. Him knowing you would never be into him like that, and you knowing he wouldn't pull some dumb cis-man bullshit on you like being friends just to get into your pants.
You had learned that Wilbur wasn't like that, and he voiced his anti-misogyny thoughts frequently, which made you feel much safer. The root of all evil starts with the patriarchy after all.
But thinking about Wilbur like that? It made you anxious and nauseous just thinking about it.
"Wilbur is my roommate." You said flatly. "He forgets his keys often and he's banned from cooking because he can't taste for shit."
"Oh c'mon," another friend piped up. "Tell us *hic* all the juicy details."
"There is nothing to tell." You felt your anxiety spiking. "We just live in the same space in a two-bedroom apartment."
"Bestie." The main asker of the question said looking at you. "No guy just wants to live with someone that looks like you without wanting something more." She said before taking a swig of her drink. "He's into you."
"So into you." Another friend confirmed.
Your heart dropped. You needed to get out of here, this sucked. Maybe a conversation change.
"Well, tough luck for him because I don't see him like that." You replied. "Anyways, I think I'm gonna go to bed now."
"Already?" one of your friends asked confused. "We haven't even broken out the charcuterie board."
No charcuterie board was worth this.
"Sorry--I just don't feel all that good--might have been something at supper. Have fun you guys." You said half-heartedly before leaving. It wasn't like they were going to notice you missing after 20 minutes anyways.
You trudged back to your hotel room and flopped onto the bed. You felt your eyes filling up with water before looking at your phone.
Probably should plug it in.
You plugged it in and responded to Wilburs text.
You: three days
You: Can I call you right now?
It wasnt long before Wilbur's face appeared on your screen as it buzzed singaling him attempting to call you.
You hit the green button.
"Hey Wil." Your voice betrayed you, croaking out your greeting.
"Oh my god are you okay?" Wilbur's voice came through.
"Yeah--er no. Not really." you said while more tears fell down your face.
"Whats wrong?" he asked panicked.
"Do you like me--Like more than a friend or a roommate?" It burst out of you.
"I thought you were aromantic." he sounded confused.
"Please Wil, just answer the question, I--" you buried your head into the pillow to muffle a sob.
"Oh, er, well It's a hard one to answer." He admitted. You felt your heart sink lower and your panic came in stronger. God fucking dammit. Not again.
Was it really that fucking hard to have friends that weren't considering you as a romantic interest? You just wanted company, someone to talk to, relate to, and laugh with--was that too much to ask for? Was everyone so freaking obsessed with Cupid that they couldn't appreciate the people around them?
"But I don't love you or have a crush on you if that is what you are asking," he admitted. A small glimmer of hope.
"What do you mean." Your words were warbled.
"I mean I don't love you. Not like how everyone else means it." he said, adding the last part on quickly. You sniffled.
"I love you in the way that mutualism relationships in nature--like clownfish and sea anemones. In the way, we both benefit each other. I love living with you because you remember to buy shit like--like bloody fucking paper towels when I'm in over my head."
"You mean it?" You asked, voice still cracking. "You aren't lying and shoving your true romantic feelings for me deep down?
"What kind of poorly written emotionally stunted protagonistic idiot do you take me for?" He asked laughing.
"A big one," you said smiling through your tears. He laughed through the receiver. You liked it when he laughed.
"I may be an idiot, but I swear to you I will always, always, be honest about this," he said genuinely.
"Thanks Wil," you said sniffling, feeling much better then before.
"Anytime." He responded. "So what brought on that question?" He asked. You rolled over onto your back and wiped the remaining tears off your face with your wrist.
"My friends--they were insinuating it and I just... panicked." There was more to it but that didn't feel like the right thing to say right now. Something about firing up Wilbur's temper and while it was incredibly validating to hear him angry on your behalf, it wasn't the time for it. You just wanted to be comforted.
"Do they know you are aromantic?" He asked.
"I mean, I hope so, I've told them a couple dozen times." You said running a hand through your hair. It was silent on the other end of the line. Then,
"Are you doing okay?"
"Well, a little better now."
"No, you don't sound good to me." He said with a tone you could quite discern. "You sound sick."
"Sick?"
"Sick enough to... have to leave early. If you chose to." You finally caught on to what he was implying. Say you were sick and leave early.
"Wil, as much as that Idea appeals to me, you are three hours away, by the time you picked me up and we got back, you would have been on the road for six whole hours--not including a stop for gas and food."
"Well if you are as sick as you sound, I guess I have no choice but to leave now."
"Wilbur it is ten pm. You would get here by one in the morning and home by four."
"Worth it. Unless you think you can handle it for a few more days?" He asked. You paused. You hated taking advantage of him like this. But he sounded incredibly serious.
"Compromise," you said after a while. "You leave now, spend the night, and we leave in the morning. Drowsy driving is dangerous"
"Deal." He said instantly and hung up. It wasnt much later until you got a text on your phone.
Wiblur Scoot: Leaving now see you soon!
You smiled to yourself and sighed. Maybe This trip wasn't so bad after all.
-*-
Three hours later and you received a knock on your door. You had changed into your pajamas a long time ago and had fallen asleep.
"Room service." You looked at the clock.
1:00 am. Who the fuck gets their room cleaned at 1 am?
Wait.
You stumbled out of bed and opened the door. Immediately you were met by the best roommate in the world. You immediately hugged him, holding him tightly. He returned it with zero hesitation.
"Thank you," you whispered.
"Anytime." He murmured back and held you back.
You pulled away. "There is only one bed--" You said while yawning. "It's a queen though so we should be okay."
"I'll keep my socks on," Wilbur responded so seriously you would have missed the joke. You nodded and walked back over to the bed before collapsing back into the comfort of the blankets. Not long after you heard the click of a door lock, someone walking over and weight on the bed.
"G'night Wil." you said half asleep.
"One second." You heard the sheets rustle and before you knew it he had himself wrapped around you, your back to his chest and an arm around your waist. "There. Good night." You smiled and hummed the sentiment back before slipping into the release of slumber.
-*-
You woke up the next morning feeling much better. Something about physical touch. You rolled over to see Wilbur was already up and moving. You noticed most of your stuff was already packed.
"You ready?" He asked. You nodded.
"Always."
"C'mon then. you can send an apology text later." He said nonchalantly. Then you heard him mutter something under his breath. "ten pounds says they respond feeling bad you had to leave but don't do anything."
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
Ten minutes later the two of you checked out and left without saying a word to any of the people you had driven up with. Wilbur drove and you curled up in the passenger seat, head against the window while his playlist continued.
"You know something Wil?" You said after a few hours.
"Know what?"
"I felt so isolated during this whole trip and I think I just found out why."
"Whys that?" He asked.
"The effort to connect to people on a factor that you literally have no experience with empathetically or sympathetically is nearly impossible." You started. "And asking to change the conversation makes you feel like a bad guy when in reality it just goes to show that people who don't try, aren't worth trying for."
"Did you just think of that?" He asked glancing at you out of the corner of his eyes while driving.
"No. I did just put it into words though." you said, "I think I've been feeling this for awhile now."
"Proud of you for figuring that out." He said reaching over a hand to squeeze yours. "I hope you are proud of you too."
"I am." You said quietly.
Wilbur's playlist continued.
"So when we get back." Wilbur started. "Does a movie marathon and making some comfort food sound good?"
"Depends," you replied. "You tell Tommy I'll still be out of town for two more days and I pick the movies."
"Fine, but then I get to throw the noodles at the cabinet."
"Who says its gonna be pasta?" you asked indignantly.
"Because I'm your favorite." He said grinning.
"Yeah, you are," you said softly. The music played and the two of you hummed along, completely and utterly not in love with each other.
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sapphire-writes · 1 year
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Okay, since you're invested and Im too lazy to study for my Theory presentation tomorrow (but somehow awake enough to do this- God gives his hardest battles to his stronger soldiers) let's go! I also realised after writing this whole thing that it's too long to be an ask but i couldnt copy it as a post and.. ive come too far for anything else! ch.3
“Found him,” Aemond said.  Aegon trails behind him, looking disheveled.  “Where was he?” Baela asks.  Aemond glances around the room.  “Y/N here?” 
MY BABY!!!! he knows it's gonna devastate her to be yet again faced with aegon's complete disregard and shitting all over their relationship and still he's being so careful and tactful and thoughtful!
His tongue pokes at his cheek, as he watches you. His sapphire eye catches the light from the kitchen, sending geometric shapes on the wall.
this was such a good line tho! like, you can imagine the little light shapes around the room moving around whenever he tilts his head or turns his head. such a good visual! (the V on the sweatpants as well but for now im keeping it classy)
“She’s single, I’m single,” he says, no growls, at you, “it's not a big fucking deal.”
imagine having to defend to your crush why you fake shagged sb and having to argue that you're not dating anyone so you're allowed to have ALL the fun!! Yay such joy!!
also btw!! why lie in the first place? just to spite her? maybe......... to see how she would react?.... i mean... there's a saying in my native language : "you fish with empty nets hoping to get full ones" dude was baiting her? wishfully baiting her? crossing his fingers baiting her? and it fucking worked too? what a mad lad
“Fuck, Aemond,” you want to keep yelling at him. You want a reaction from him, some remorse, something besides that cold look, “you really are heartless.”
Aemond turns his head to you, purple and sapphire eye aglow with anger. He pushes off the counter, striding towards you. 
“Go to bed, Y/N,” he says in a voice dripping with disdain, “you’re not my friend, you’re not my girlfriend. Stop acting like one.”
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“I’m not staying.” A flicker of confusion dances across his sharp features.  “Why?” [...] Aemond stays eerily still. His eye searches your face, taking in the look of acceptance that follows the words you speak. 
“So after the party, you won’t have to deal with me anymore,” you tell him, the bitterness evident in your voice. 
see previous gif
Aemond’s eyes light up as you fail to answer, the beginning of a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.  [...] There is a look in Aemond’s eye, reminiscent of a rabid dog.
no comment... i just love those lines... pay no attention to me
I have to wonder... how many times in the past had Aemond fantasized about waking up, going to the kitchen to have his morning coffee and toast and whatever and then her showing up, all warm and lazy from her sleep. how many times did he do the do thinking about lifting her on that very counter and fucking her just like he did irl? because you know since those mornings have been established as a sort of "them" time, you know he latched onto that and used it as jerking off material.. also those morning showers? i bet you my left lung he did. (please dear author.. what Does he think about while getting himself off?) also you have to love how open and responsive and vocal he is! all the love! all the kisses!!!
He fucking ripped your stockings holy shit. 
you know he'd been thinking of doing that for a looong ass while
Aemond blinks to look up at you, drinking in the hedonistic expression on your face. 
i love it when dreams come true. very heartwarming ya know....
“You gonna cum for me?” he asks, his voice rough as gravel.
God, you want to smack that stupid self-indulgent look off his face.
if only she realized how much he risked -like emotionally- by kissing her and making that first move...
now some ch. 1 because i MUST
Aemond nods, flagging down the bartender.  “Yeah 'cause you’re acting like an idiot.” [...] “No you’re an idiot,” he faces you, a sick smile on his face. He often gets that wild look in his eye when you start arguing. 
it's the attention.. he's a lovesick fool. pay him no mind
“You’re a very smart girl,” he says leaning closer, “but you’re not acting like one.” “You don’t get it,” you tell him[...] Aemond chuckles [...] “I live with you fuckers,” he says, taking a sip from his drink, “I know everything that goes on, princess.” [...] “Don’t you think you deserve better?” [...] “You’re not my friend Aemond,” you snap, “you’ve made that quite clear the past couple of years. So stop acting like one.” His eyes bore into yours. [...] He doesn’t say anything, he only hums deep within the back of his throat before tearing his gaze from you. 
and one last line from ch, 4
Aemond’s silk shirt is open at the top, revealing his chest. He wears a different chain tonight, nothing hanging from it. You swallow hard.
let the chain be a main character! it has all the potential, we want her, we love her, she is stunning, amazing, showstopping...
IM LIVING FOR THIS COMMENTARY FRIEND 🫶🏻
As for lying about Rhaena: yeah he lied, knowing it would start a fight, he was totally baiting her. He just went along with it because she was like "seriously?? you fucked Rhaena??"
You've hit the nail on the HEAD! As for what he thinks of when he ya know 💦 😏 ofc he's thinking about the reader, those moments in the kitchen, the moments when they argue just grabbing the back of her neck and kissing her, breaking all his rules and going for it.
and then he finally does 🥹
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rughydrangea · 2 years
Text
Expect a ton of MCK spam coming your way! I finished the first season yesterday and what a ride it was. I don’t know if it was hormones or just life stuff making me delicate, but the show had me straight-up sobbing several times (mostly at the deaths of Mehmed and Osman). Although I do think it, like the mothership, had some significant faults (extraneous plotlines! why is it that every time one sultan’s sister leaves, another emerges from the woodwork? what in the name of God was Iskender doing in this show, especially after his first “death,” which frankly should have been for real! I’m pretty sure he just stayed alive to give Safiye something to do, which did not make for compelling drama! Also, will this show ever be able to make scenes of viziers talking about politics interesting?), the family/political drama at its heart was so compelling. I loved that even though the show is clearly on Kösem’s side, and I as a viewer was always with her, the villains are sympathetic even when they’re kind of evil. Like, Halime and especially Dilruba are kind of monstrous, but when you see what happened to Mustafa, it’s like... of course they are! This innocent child was locked up and lost his mind, what are they supposed to do, thank Ahmed for his mercy? (I didn’t hate Ahmed, and I thought the actor was good, but... I wasn’t sad when he died.) Like, of course they’re bitter and angry and vengeful. 
And then there’s Osman.... I truly loved this character and his arc, he simply broke my heart. What he did to Mehmed was horrific (and then he said it was Kösem’s fault, not his!), but I think the show and the actor were really good at showing us that this was a confused child who was ultimately catastrophically over-ambitious and under-prepared for the situation he found himself in. And his relationship with Kösem was so good! The scene where she says she loved him the most.... the child she chose, the child she kept on choosing and loving, who she couldn’t stop loving, even after he betrayed her... It’s just so lovely, and it really got to me!
That having been said, I do love how we see that even though Kösem does what she does for her children, for her family, there is a clear desire for control (which I don’t think there was with Hürrem). Kösem acts as a wife and mother, but she also was so scarred by the loss of her freedom that she refused to ever put herself in another person’s power again--and that makes sense, it’s so sympathetic, but it does make her harsh and brutal, and I love that the show let her be like that! Lord knows Beren Saat has the face of an angel (seriously, she’s so beautiful!), but Kösem does not fuck around, and I love it (and am so excited to see her get even harder in s2!).
Finally, a shoutout to Murad. I normally don’t love kid characters (both because I don’t really like children IRL, and also child actors are, understandably, often limited in what they can do), but I kind of loved how the last five-ish episodes of the season were just us seeing this 10-year-old be permanently damaged in real time. Like, of course he grew up brutal, look what he went through, what he saw! And I just love how the character was presented--he had an anger and aggression that seemed very natural (as opposed to kid!Bayezid in MC, no offense to that kid), and the way that he made himself into the protector of his younger brothers after Mehmed’s death got to me (and then I would remember that he’s going to kill two of them eventually and my heart would break all over again). So, yeah. I am so excited for more of him and Kösem in s2.
For the sake of my brain, I do have to take a break before starting s2 (like, I spent most of yesterday crying. It was too much crying!), but in the meantime, expect a lot of s1 gifsets coming your way.
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nicesteverforever · 1 month
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Lurkers and e-drama. Not a worthy read, essentially an open letter to someone that's been stalking me for the past year.
I don't think there's much validation to gain from men when I sit here and I therapy them in DMs every other day. I have one man telling me about how he fucked up for making another woman wait too long for him, another man with an anxious attachment style asking me for reassurance and thoughts, another man having panic attacks and waking me up in the middle of the night over them, and another man sending me shit about his paranoid-schizoprehnia. Like, I'm not the one getting anything out of these conversations with them, I'm just a friend.
So bizarre to me when another woman is trying to call me a pick-me of sorts just because men confide in me and trust some level of rationality from me. I don't LIKE it, but I've known these men for years now and consider them friends, so I'll suck it up.
And hearing a claim that I'm doing it for validation from a woman that would DM men about made-up stories for pity so they'd jerk off with her. Like, you're still messaging my friends and begging them to hang out with you somewhere else after a year. I'm not begging any man to stay friends with me or talk to me.
I hate to be the person to say something like this, but there seems to be a genuine jealousy and unhinged obsession with me and my interpersonal relationships after all this time. I truly pity the loneliness and insecurity from a person to be so obsessively attached to me after a year of us almost mutually breaking things off.
Like, I am truly sorry you couldn't move on, but I did, and it's only annoying for you to keep coming back, involving yourself in my relationships and their drama for no reason other than lonely obsession, and throwing weird and baseless accusations at me all the time. And the worst part is that I KNOW you're going to read this too and probably fume over it, but I am being so fucking genuine when I say I wish your life was better so you'd have an easier time moving on and focusing on new friends you should've already made by now.
For a second, it almost seemed like you were trying to be genuine and just warn me about certain things or whatever, but you got so mad when I pointed out the hypocrisy from you and the weird attachment to shit that happened a year ago.
Genuinely seek fucking therapy or pick up new hobbies or something, make new friends IRL or online, and try to focus on something other than me and what's going on in my and my friends' lives these days when nothing involves you whatsoever anymore.
You cannot try to call me the obsessive one for talking about you when you literally keep seeking me out, bringing up old shit, insulting me and all my friends, and sending me fucking anonymous messages on Tumblr while you have an alt in some stupid Discord server of mine. 😭 Girl, you're literally begging me to keep talking about you when you do all that shit. I haven't sought you or your friends out once, anyone that joins and mentions you is immediately banned from my server because I don't WANT to know about what's going on with you these days. I don't ask questions or talk to anyone about you that wasn't around when we had that falling out.
I do not want to be the God of your mind anymore. Seek something new.
But you probably WON'T! Because you haven't changed at all since we last spoke, aside from growing even more fucking bitter and pathetic. You still carry the same victim mentality, you lack perspective, and you still exaggerate shit and lie for attention.
You know, plenty of people have sent me screenshots of what you and Juniper have been saying about me or are up to these days, and I never ask for it, nor do I seek you out afterwards.
People talk, and I expected that, and you should too. This genuine level of obsession is literally not healthy for you and indicates a real sadness and loneliness in your real life, like, to a fucking manly, incel degree. I'm not even trying to be too mean, just honest with you for a moment. I don't know what to tell you that will make you get over something that happened a year ago.
Like, I'm sorry about things I did after, but I was hurt when you valued stupid shit over a genuine issue I had just experienced in my personal life. I was stressed, annoyed, and felt betrayed, so I acted out childishly and tried to make you feel as vulnerable and hurt as I felt. It's really not something I'd do again these days. I'd definitely take my actions back, not only if it meant you'd finally fuck off already, but also because it was cruel of me and embarrassing to think back on now. You have to try to see my perspective at the time, I had just come out of a fucking traumatizing situation, and it felt like you and Juni didn't give a fuck and were actively betraying me through your actions as well.
I'm trying to grow up already and stay out of stupid shit these days. I have shit to do IRL, I have friends, family, and a home to keep up. Shit's different for me now, and I wish it was for you too.
I am sorry for what I did, whether you believe that or not. But I haven't done anything else to the either of you since. It's just you with a vengeance still, a year later. No, I haven't sought either of you out or saved anything from whatever public pages either of you might have, not even ONCE since I banned the both of you in the first place. I'm genuinely just sticking to my circle of friends and staying out of yours. You should try doing the same. Literally for yourself and your own fucking sanity.
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raz-b-rose · 1 year
Note
Hey Raz. So I sent a big ask yesterday where I was asking about letting go of anger from the past and then I vented about something that happened between me and a friend and I got carried away with that, when what I really wanted was your advice. So I just want to apologize for dumping that on you, that was probably weird to get in your ask box. Cutting out all the unnecessary bits of my prev ask, this is what I'd actually like to ask you. Do you have any advice (or prayers/verses) about letting go of anger towards an event that you've already forgiven someone for? As in, maybe someone did something that hurt you and you forgave them, but the memory still makes you mad.
Thanks
(again, sorry for the info dump before, and feel free to ignore this if it's not up your alley)
Hey Anon, thank you for waiting I can finally respond to this.
So yup, I can have quite the temper, (anyone who knows be IRL can testify to that) and I am more than happy to help you find a way to work through your situation.
I am no stranger to holding onto past hurts while not necessarily still being mad at the person themselves, and I think thats because we are still, in a way, angry with that person.
We are mad at the past person, but not the present person.
The sense of betrayal and emotional attack is a scar to us, one that people can't see. So when we work through memories we share with someone, negative ones can come up during that, and it aches all over again.
So my advice would be to simply not live in the past (sounds stupid but trust me). You don't always have an opportunity to work through the hurt, but when you do (at least a little) and its over a smaller issue, don't let the hurt fester. The more you give something the time of day, the stronger the hold it has over you. And If you aren't ever to actually work through the hurt with the offender, why let them do that to you? Forgiveness isn't for them, it's for you.
“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Ephesians 4:26-31
and
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11
The way I have started approaching those painful memories is to take a deep breath, remind myself that its in the past, can't be changed and that I don't want to be angry about it. Its exhausting holding onto anger for no productive reason.
What does letting anger fester get me than a crappy mood, snapping at people I love and just spitting on Gods grace. He forgave me at my absolute worst, and I'm going to let something meaningless (whatever it may be) live in my head rent free?
No, I'm going to start the process of forgiveness, and it's a long one. It takes time and constantly giving the hurt back to God until finally you trust Him to care for that, and live in His peace.
And I don't think the memory of that hurt we feel is a sin. Its part of being human, and memories have so many emotions tied to them, and as time goes new emotions can come to be associated with them alongside the original emotions.
I think not truly forgiving the person and letting those past emotions become present ones that affect your current relationship negatively is sinful though.
The verse above tells us to let go of wrongful anger that leads to sinful actions and instead use the power of forgiveness to bless those around us.
Its understandable for hurt that personal and unexpected to still be felt so strongly, trust me I get it, and trust me when I say it does go away in a sense. Take the time with God to pray over it constantly, ignoring it isn't going to help even though its an attempt to run away from not wanting to be mad about the memory, you have to deal with the hurt. You have to bring it to God and cry out, "this still hurts and I don't want it to help me." and He does, man He does and it's amazing.
Sorry I really hope I helped bring some clarity and actionable advise to you. I'll list some of my go to verses below that I more or less paraphrase when I need to in the moments of everyday anger and spontaneous anxiety attacks due to being painfully ambushed by memories.
James 1:20 (I want to honor God in everything)
Philippians 4:6-7 (Prayer is powerful, and it doesn't need to be well spoken, just spill your heart to Him, He understands)
2 Corinthians 5:17 (my life verse, always reminding myself of my growth and set a goal of who I want to be)
1 Corinthians 10:13 (It's tempting to sit in anger, its a lie that it feels good and God will lead us away from that)
Ephesians 6:10-20 (I mentally go through the Armor of God and recommend Priscilla Shirer's series on it its very helpful)
Psalms 1:3 (A reminder to sit at Gods feet and know that I can only grow in Him, no by my own power)
I'll be praying for you Anon, this is a hard path to grow along, but it's so worth it. Gods peace is so worth it. Love you and hope I was able to help. 
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cake-and-spades · 3 years
Note
Tell me about internalized arophobia please, thanks
I have been struggling with putting down my thoughts/ feelings for this ask for months, and I finally just did what I do best and did some research. I looked up internalized homophobia and obviously not all of these will apply to arophobia (or to everyone) but it’s a good place to expand from!  I’m so sorry this took so long anon 😭
Bold text is taken from the Rainbow Project (LINK) with anything I added in plain text underneath.
Trigger warnings for things mentioned but not described in detail, take care of yourselves y'all:
homophobia / transphobia / biphobia / arophobia / etc
self harm
abusive relationships
drinking / substance abuse
suicide
pedophilia
(if I've missed any please let me know and I'll add them above)
01. Denial of your sexual orientation to yourself and others.
Fun fact: for the first like 2 weeks after I found out what aromanticism was I refused to identify as aro because of like, the crushing fear and disappointment and the belief I’d never be happy. And of course I *had* to experience romantic attraction some day, I just *had* to, *everyone* does. (Oof)
02. Attempts to alter or change your sexual your orientation.
Do I even need to explain this one? “Maybe if I just try hard enough I’ll start liking someone. Fake it till you make it, right?”
03. Feeling you are never good enough.
Personally, whenever I used to think about platonically dating people/ having nonromantic partner(s) I’d start getting down on myself and think “they deserve a Real (TM) partner, a Romantic (TM) partner, they deserve more than the disappointment I would be” or alternately, the thought that I’m disappointing my parents by not giving them a child-in-law & grandchildren
04. Engaging in obsessive thinking and/or compulsive behaviours.
Not sure exactly how this one could relate, perhaps in obsessively seeking out romance (in fiction or irl) or exposing yourself to it knowing it makes you uncomfortable ?
05. Under-achievement or even over-achievement as a bid for acceptance.
The whole who gets to be an "ally" because they aren't *really* LGBT+ comes to mind
06. Low self esteem, negative body image.
Self explanatory, but I will also add: not wanting to be seen as a Romantic Person, policing your actions and your body / body language so no one could ever see you as anything other than Platonic or friends with benefits. Disliking the parts of you that are typically coded by society to be "romantic" things.
07. Contempt for the more open or obvious members of the LGBT community.
Self explanatory but also: Gatekeeping. I’m thinking especially gatekeeping people who aren’t “aro enough” to be considered aro (you will always be "aro enough" as long as you ID as aro!)
08. Contempt for those at earlier stages of the coming out process.
Contempt for “cringey aros / aces who make the whole community look bad / childish / heartless” when they are just discovering themselves and having a good time (and many times are just kids)
09. Denial that homophobia, heterosexism, biphobia or sexism are serious social problems.
The thought: “Sure arophobia exists, but it isn’t a *real* problem like homophobia / transphobia / biphobia” Alternately: “yeah it’s not perfect, but it’s not like I have *real problems*”
Also a personal note: I didn't like. recognize that we live in an arophobic society? Like society definitely wasn't built for us but Baby Aro me refused to understand that.
10. Contempt for those that are not like ourselves or contempt for those who seem like ourselves. Sometimes distancing by engaging in homophobic behaviours – ridicule, harassment, verbal or physical attacks on other LGB people.
This one is similar to the ones above.
11. Projection of prejudice onto another target group.
Terfs, gatekeepers, etc
12. Becoming psychologically abused or abusive or remaining in an abusive relationship.
Self explanatory :( But especially: staying in a relationship even though it's hurting you, whether because of your partner or just because it isn't a good fit for you as an aro person.
13. Attempts to pass as heterosexual, sometimes marrying someone of the other sex to gain social approval or in hope of ‘being cured’.
Y’all ever faked a crush or just chosen one at random? Y’all ever dated someone you knew you didn’t “like” like while hoping you’d catch feelings someday or thinking it was like, the natural “next step” for your friendship? Y’all ever fear that some day everyone would find out you “”weren’t normal?”” Y’all ever cry bc you know you’ll never love a partner the way they’ll love you, because their love is “”more pure/ real”” or some bullshit???? It's the internalized arophobia 😌
14. Increased fear and withdrawal from friend and relatives.
"They won't like me anymore when they realize I'm not the same as them" "They'll see me differently" etc etc etc
15. Shame or depression; defensiveness; anger or bitterness.
Self explanatory :(
16. School truancy or dropping out of school. Also, work place absenteeism or reduced productivity.
Self explanatory, avoidance of problems and people
17. Continual self-monitoring of one’s behaviours, mannerisms, beliefs, and ideas.
This one seems like it would tie in with #6, specifically monitoring yourself for the Correct Amount of romance, even if you're faking it.
18. Clowning as a way of acting out society’s negative stereotypes.
I have nothing to add here
19. Mistrust and destructive criticism of LGBT community leaders.
I don't think I need to elaborate on this one askdjfdkj
20. Reluctance to be around or have concern for children for fear of being seen as a paedophile.
God I don’t even know why I have this specific internalized arophobia/homophobia. Like??? It doesn’t make sense from an aro perspective but boy do I got it. I love kids and I have an education degree, but am still constantly afraid people see me as a creep
21. Conflicts with the law.
22. Unsafe sexual practices and other destructive risk-taking behaviours-including risk for HIV and other STIs.
Lack of care and respect for self :(
23. Separating sex and love, or fear of intimacy. Sometimes low or lack of sexual drive or celibacy.
I mean some of this is natural and healthy for aros by nature of being aro, but fear of intimacy. Fear of being Known
These last two are self explanatory :(
24. Substance abuse, including drink and drugs.
25. Thinking about suicide, attempting suicide, death by suicide.
https://www.rainbow-project.org/internalised-homophobia/
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A short thread I found about Gojo's character that helps shine a light to how caring he is:
https://twitter.com/musikawu/status/1376984416485007363?s=19
Also, I actually just realized this recently after rewatching JJK that Gojo got super attached to Yuji really quickly. Gojo not only got very angry on his behalf but went out of his way to ask Nanami for help in caring for Yuji when he's supposed to be the strongest sorcerer. And at that time, Gojo made it clear to Nanami that he didn't ask him to do so due to Yuji's potential as a vessel. Gojo asked Nanami for this favor as an adult who wants to see the growth of a young man. Gojo was very precise in telling Nanami that he was looking not at Sukuna and Yuji's power, but at Yuji himself as not only an individual, but a child that needed nurturing and care. Before Yuji's death, Gojo had already even made preparations to have Yuta take care of Yuji cause he knew something might happen to him- even more development is that despite what Gojo says about himself, he's aware of his own flaws. What he appears to be on the outside is nothing like what he truly feels on the inside. He doesn't delude himself into narcissistic behavior that makes him unable to ask for help. He asks for help willingly and of his own accord- Yuta couldn't even fathom how the strongest sorcerer would face a problem he couldn't solve on his own, but Gojo does. Gojo is smart enough to know he needs to rely on others to move forward, and relying on someone means putting a certain amount of trust there. Gojo puts just as much faith in other people as he does himself, and the interesting part is that while it's more admirable to go out of your way to protect someone else, Gojo never brags about that. He only "brags" about things that will annoy the other person, but really he is only saying a commonly known "truth" in order to rile people up. It may sound like bragging- which it sort of is- but Gojo saying he's the strongest is not a lie. Him saying "I alone am the honoured one" is not necessarily a lie either. People don't call him the Strongest for nothing.
In fact, even more interestingly enough, besides Gojo, who includes Geto when people talk about the "strongest?" Despite being the definite "strongest," Gojo is the one who constantly says "We are the Strongest," not the other way around. He's also mature enough to recognize and point out other people's strengths, such as Mei Mei's, saying she is too strong to cry.
If Gojo truly was a narcissist, he would have mentioned everything else he's done for people, like stopping Megumi's sale to the Zenin clan and getting the Fushiguros financial aid. He could brag about being persuasive enough to save Yuji from execution or even saving Yuta from execution- Yuta becoming a special grade sorcerer soon after Gojo saved him is something you can easily brag about- but Gojo doesn't brag about his personal achievements at all- not in the way that demands respect from others, at least. Gojo only "brags" to tease others lightheartedly and to tick them off a little- and I don't think the demeaning things Gojo says to the higher ups can be used to show he's a narc because *many* people in Gojo's position would have said (and done) much, much worse things.
Also, when Yuji died, Gojo had become so emotional that even Shoko, who had been there since Gojo's youth, had commented on how unlike him it was. People irl really thought it was because Gojo couldn't use him as a weapon against the higher ups anymore, but reading how Gojo had told Nanami that he saw their relationship as an adult and a child makes me think differently. Something very important in the Light Novel is when Gojo tells Nanami that his students, because they are sorcerers, will soon have to "face the evil intentions of sh*tty humans." Not only sorcerers, but "every person has to bite into that bitterness, know what it means to give up, and pile up despairs to become an adult." People like Gojo and Nanami, Gojo had said, are capable of withstanding and releasing the "poison" that runs through the heart. However, the youngsters are more sensitive in that age, and "one poison could destroy their hearts" (I'm sure Gojo was thinking of Geto as he said this). That's why he wants to leave Yuji in the care of Nanami, "an adult who understands other people pain." Not that Gojo is unable to understand pain, but in the earlier events of the Light Novel as context, Gojo is faced with a mother who is mourning the loss of her child. While Nanami tries to gently comfort her and secretly find information on the cursed spirit at the same time using vague words, Gojo's words are straight forward and to the point, which startles the mother. It's not necessarily a bad things, however- Gojo's words had ended up allowing the mother to see her situation as it was without delusions, a tough love situation, so to speak, and the two were able to confirm their intel to be correct. It was Gojo who helped her to heal quicker by allowing her to realize her problem through his cutting words, but I'm sure Gojo realizes his "bad personality,"- which isn't really so bad in some cases- isn't for everyone. Gojo is very aware that people react negatively to his behavior, even if he is unable to understand just how deeply they despise him (*cough* Utahime) In that way, Gojo shows he cares very much for Yuji's mental growth, even in that short period of time, by entrusting his care to Nanami, who he comments would do a much better job than be could.
Therefore, I think Gojo might actually get attached to people more quickly than it might seem like. He also thinks very deeply and no matter how he acts, he's able to recognize others' strengths and acknowledge his own flaws- this is a key part of his character because he doesn't delude himself in his position as the Strongest. To those who think Gojo sees himself as a God, he is far from that behavior, and he is self aware enough to know that people need more to grow than just power and strength. Unfortunately, it seems most people either despise Gojo or are too enamoured by his looks to see past the surface of the more boisterous and childish part of his personality. That's likely the main reason he finds it hard to commit, too.
(More ranting 😭. There was this reddit post saying Gojo's narcissistic enough to be a more evil villain than Sukuna, that he would actually end up becoming the villain- like really??? And so many people really agreed that he's incapable of feeling true emotions that it's absurd. I really can't believe they even think Gojo has a God complex. Someone with a God complex, like most of the other disorders, wouldn't be able to admit their own flaws, let alone ask for help! The fact that Gojo even admits to having a "bad personality" is another tell against that. Sometimes I wonder if people are just projecting, but I also realize it's hard to differentiate between being an ENTP and being a sociopath because of how- on the surface- they seem so similar! But if you just dig a little deeper to look at their roots, they are so completely different it's a wonder how you'd get confused in the first place)
- 🤔
OH I COULDN'T AGREE MORE 🤔 anon here spitting FACTS. Yeah alot of people think gojo's a narcissist with huge ego but that ain't the case at all as explained above. I mean he was put on a pedestal since birth he gotta have some ego in that but that fact doesnt blind him. yeah sure he's the strongest but just one line "I'm the strongest" doesn't mean he's bragging it may sound like it but he's just stating facts he is indeed in fact the strongest in the jujutsu society. He knows he can't do everything on his own I mean why did he even become a teacher in the first place? Becuz he wants to make the next generation of jujutsu sorcerers stronger! No one asked him to do it he himself wanted to be a teacher even though at time he sucks at it.
He genuinely wants to do good not just for himself but for others as well. As interesting as the concept of Gojo becoming a villain it will never happen. Don't judge a damn book by it's cover even if it's a very attractive one hes just such an interesting character its shame most people don't see that.
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jamaisjoons · 4 years
Text
me & you ⤑ jhs | m.
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⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 your relationship with your best friend has always been strange - especially since you started as friends with benefits.  〞best friends to lovers au.
❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: hoseok x reader
❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: light angst ⋆ fluff ⋆ smut
❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 6.5k
⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: soft dom!hoseok, sub!reader, softcore porn, anal fingering, anal sex, but like its not kinky, just v sof, unprotected sex, anal creampie, mentions to ass to pussy, AGAIN ITS ALL SOFCORE PORN OKAY  but don’t fucking do that irl use a damn condom this is fantasy not real life okay
➵ 𝑎/𝑛: god i’m really out here wildin and writing softcore anal porn in one day? damn someone come stop me
⏤ happy belated birthday to @readyplayerhobi​,, miss tali i love you lots and this bff!hobi fic is what you deserve
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Large beams of sunlight stream in through the open door of your cramped, rooftop apartment. The radiant rays illuminate the small space of your front room - chiffon curtains lightly billowing in the wind. A light shiver runs across your spine and goosebumps prickle at your skin. Sitting on the floor of your front room, you stare at Hoseok - taking in the complete almost intangible sight of him.
Lounging lazily, his back pressed against the sofa’s edge - your best friend hums softly to himself: indolently flicking through the pages of his book. He’s a picture-perfect view of ease - his muscles completely relaxed and eyes idly flittering over the pages of his book. Long fingers delicately support the spine - his grip gentle: as if applying any more pressure would cause it to fall to pieces. Occasionally, he lifts his other hand and turns the page.
The motion shouldn’t be so captivating. It’s a simple gesture - turning the page of a book. Yet, the way Hoseok’s graceful fingers flit down the side of the page before curling around a corner and flipping the page, has you completely spellbound. His fingers move elegantly, and you can’t help the way your eyes follow them - gaze fixated on the slender, pretty digits.
Suddenly, Hoseok shifts to a different position. Knees drawn up to his chest, he rests his elbows against the kneecaps as he pulls the book closer to his face. The faded couch behind him silhouettes his figure - drawing attention to his slender body. Dressed in a pastel blue baggy shirt, and loose-fitting grey slacks, he’s the epitome of comfort. Though, somehow, he still looks utterly ethereal. His russet-red hair ruffles in the wind, his heart-shape lips pulled into a slight pout - dimples teasing at the corners - as he focuses on his book.
Breath hitching in your throat, you struggle to breathe. Hoseok is beautiful - you have absolutely no doubts about that. Nor do you have any doubts about the almost overpowering swell of emotions you feel whenever you see him. Butterflies bloom in the pits of your stomach at the sheer sight of him, and the sound of his dulcet voice ringing through the air never fails to cause your heart to lurch.
You and Hoseok have been best friends for almost seven years now - but you’ve never had the most conventional relationship. No - because best friends usually don’t sleep with each other when they feel like it. But you and Hoseok do.
Or at least you used to.
Best friends don’t know incredibly intimate details of your sex life. But you and Hoseok do. You know what he sounds like in bed: the sweet, sinful noises he makes in the midst of pleasure. You know the feel of his hands over your naked flesh: his hands splayed across your back as he pulls you flush against his body. You know the way his cock feels inside you: pulsing synchronously with your own walls as he fills you up with his cum.
The two of you may no longer sleep together - that had long since faded after you’d graduated - but that doesn’t mean you don’t know - or that you don’t remember.
Had you started conventionally, of course, you’d never have known Hoseok intimately. However - when the two of you had met, it had been in the first year of college - in a dingy bar frequented by the broke students of your university. In a mess of drunken limbs, you’d fallen into bed together that night. And the night after that. And the next. It had started as just a simple release - no strings attached and just a way to burn off the stress of college. But eventually - it had started becoming more.
Stressful nights filled with hands grasping for a quick release had turned into early morning study brunches together. Drunken Saturdays filled with frenzied, sloppy touches turned into late afternoon Sundays lying in bed. Spontaneous evenings filled with needy kisses and wandering hands turned into late-night pillow talks. At some point in your casual relationship - you’d stopped going home after your little rendezvous - and you’d begun sleeping over.
Then had come the pillow talk. Tongue loosed by your orgasms - Hoseok would pull you close into his body, and you would sigh at the tacky feel of his sweat-soaked skin against your own. But it wouldn’t matter - because he’d soothingly rub your back, and you’d trace your name in his skin over and over again. And you’d talk - talk about everything and nothing at the same time. Sometimes, you’d talk about your dreams for the future - and sometimes you’d playfully argue about which Disney Princess would win in a fight. But sure enough, through those late-night pillow talks, the two of you had developed an unlikely, somewhat strange, friendship.
You’d gone from simply fucking and crying each other’s names, to talking about your lives, your past and your hopes. Out of all your friends, Hoseok knows the most about you. He knows your favourite brand of chocolate - stashing some of it in your secret pile of sweets during your period. He knows the names of every one of your plush toys and pets from childhood - and the order of which ones are your most favourite to your least. He knows that some nights, you like to be left alone; dissociating from the stress of work and life as you retreat into your self to recuperate.
In fact, there is very little that Hoseok doesn’t know about you.
If you’re being honest, you can count the things he doesn’t know about you on one hand. He doesn’t know that his smile is your favourite thing in the entire world: you’re sure he could light up the entirety of Seoul with you. You know he definitely lights up your world with it. He doesn’t know that his tender touches are the one thing that can calm you down without failure - or that when you’re most stressed, you wish for nothing more than his arms around you while he whispers everything will be alright. But most importantly, he doesn’t know that somewhere in the seven years that you’ve known him, you’ve completely and utterly fallen in love with him.
After you’d graduated, almost three and a half years ago now, you and Hoseok had stopped sleeping with each other. Mainly because you’d found yourself getting into a serious relationship. Hence, you’d ended it with Hoseok - and your relationship had fallen into one of just friendship. Of course, that serious relationship had failed after about six months - and you’d never admit it to him, but it was due to Hoseok himself. When your boyfriend, Juhwan, had found out that you’d been sleeping with Hoseok, he’d freaked out and demanded you choose between the two.
When he’d presented you with the choice, you’d been shocked. Hoseok had been a constant in your life for four years by then. So you’d made your choice. A very easy choice. Aided by the fact that not only were you bored and listless in your relationship with Juhwan, but that he’d also tried to remove Hoseok from your life. So, you chose Hoseok. You’d always choose Hoseok. Of course, it was probably your own downfall that caused the bitter end to the relationship. Completely accustomed to your odd relationship with Hoseok, you had compared Juhwan to your best friend - craving the spark of connection and intimacy that you feel for Hoseok with someone else.
In the years after Juhwan, you’d tried to date again - but none of them compared to Hoseok. None of them smiled the same as him, or had his humour, or made you feel at ease like he did. So, for years now, you’ve simply settled for being Hoseok’s best friend. There’s still traces of your former intimacy; in the way his hand instinctively falls to the small of your back as he leads you around, the way the two of you snuggle on the sofa while watching Netflix: Hoseok’s hand resting just above your ass, your body laying on top of him - or even in the way he’ll buy you flowers ‘just because’ and kiss your forehead.
Just like that, with simple - what should have been platonic - gestures, you’d fallen headfirst for your best friend. Between the warm smiles on coffee dates, lazy strolls through the parks, and the way he’d playfully smile at you and call your name - as if it belonged to him; you’d lost your heart on him.
You couldn’t help it. Nor do you regret it.
Utterly magnetised to your best friend, you want nothing more than to wrap your arms around him, press your mouth to his and drown every one of your senses in him. A part of you wonders if Hoseok feels the same way - whether he yearns for you as much as you yearn for him. Drawn out of your musings, you hear Hoseok’s phone vibrate on the low coffee. Placing his book down, Hoseok picks up his phone before unlocking it with a swipe. After his lips twist in amusement, he lets out a tinkling, raucous laugh. Eyebrows shooting into your hairline, you cock your head in question.
“What happened?” you ask, your head tilting to the side.
With another boisterous laugh, Hoseok’s eyes glance up from the screen. Eyes twinkling with mirth, “Namjoon and his girlfriend tried to have anal sex - but the moment he entered her ass he came,” Hoseok guffaws. His words only have you scoffing.
“Pretty bold of her - I’ve heard stories about his cock. I wonder if it’s as big as they say it is?” you ruminate distractedly. Preoccupied with your own thought, you don’t see the way Hoseok’s eyes soften, a slight twinge of despair ebbing through them. However, as quick as it starts, it fades away and he turns back to his phone. “I wonder what it feels like,” you continue musing out loud.
“Namjoon’s cock?” Hoseok chokes out, looking at you with wide eyes. Sending him a playful disdainful glare, you snort.
“No - anal sex,” you reply - as if it were the most obvious answer. Had this been a conversation with someone else - anyone else - you’d be uncomfortable and shy. But it’s Hoseok - and you’d always been open with him.
“Wait, you’ve never had anal sex?” Hoseok’s incredulous voice breaks the air.
Humming softly, you shake your head. Then, with a shrug, “I haven’t really had anyone I trust enough to do it with,” you reply.
“Do you want it?” Hoseok asks - his voice turning breathy.
With a soft laugh, “why are you offering?” you tease. Your words are meant to be playful, but seeing the heavy sincerity in Hoseok’s eyes, you pause.
“Yes. I am,” Hoseok replies, his voice completely serious.
“W-wait what?” you ask, your mind suddenly swimming with haziness.
“I mean it. It’s not like we haven’t fucked before - and you do trust me, don’t you?” he asks - then with a pause - “But it’s completely up to you,” Hoseok finishes. You swallow audibly, your throat constricting. Would this be a bad idea? It’s been so long since you’ve felt Hoseok’s naked body against your own. But things are different now - you hadn’t been in love with him then - you are in love with him now. Would you be able to survive feeling him inside you - so intimately - only to lose him again? You have no idea.
Despite your reluctance, however, “yes,” your mouth automatically agrees. Consequences be damned - you’ll deal with heartbreak later. Right now, you have to opportunity to have Hoseok again - to feel his naked skin against your own as you drown in all that is him. You’d be damned if you lost this opportunity.
“I- are you sure?” Hoseok asks. His warm eyes stare at you in question; you know him well enough to know he’s giving you an out. But you don’t need one. You’re sure of this - as sure as the love you feel for him. Even if it’s just one last time, you need to feel him inside you.
Eyes steeling with resolution, “yes,” you reply once again. Sucking in a sharp breath, Hoseok nods. Then, he’s getting up. He holds his hand out to you and you place your own in his palm before you allow him to lead you to his bedroom.
Stepping past the threshold of his bedroom you feel the heat rise by several degrees. Carefully, Hoseok guides you towards his bed. This streams of sunlight bath his bedroom - lighting up every inch and corner. There’s not a hint of shadow or darkness, and suddenly you feel a little selfconscious. Without any cover, you’ll be completely exposed to him - unable to hide any flaw on your body. Suddenly, you feel your stomach twist in nervousness, and momentarily, you wonder if this was a mistake.
Hesitancy thickening in the air around you, Hoseok’s in front of you in a flash. Your eyes widen at the sudden movement and you let out a short gasp. He’s incredibly close to you now - his face only a hair’s breadth away from yours. Swallowing thickly, you look up at him through the thick of your eyelashes. With deliberate movements, Hoseok’s hand moves to cup your face - and delicately strokes his thumb across your cheek.
His actions comfort you - the tension in your shoulder dissipating under his tender touch. Boring into you with his warm gaze, Hoseok dips his head down. His lips hover over your own - so close that you can almost feel his mouth - almost taste him. Heart-shaped lips ghosting over yours, “It’s alright. I’ve got you,” Hoseok mutters.
Then, his lips are descending onto yours. You gasp against his mouth. It’s been so long since you’ve tasted him - felt his mouth move against yours - that you’ve forgotten what he tastes like. Not anymore, though. As he licks your lips, the saccharine flavour of his tongue coats your lips; and with another gasp, your mouth parts open. Lethargically, he presses his tongue between your teeth - the wet appendage massaging and gliding over your own.
Lost in the intoxicating sweetness of Hoseok’s tongue against your own - you barely register the way he undresses you. Briefly, he breaks your kiss - a soft whine of protest slipping from your lips - as he sheds you off your top. Then, pressing his lips back against you, his hands caress down the curves of your sides and along your abdomen before he deftly unbuttons your jeans.
Aiding his movements, you step out of your jeans - leaving most of your body exposed. The crisp air causes you to shiver, Hoseok’s hands reverently falling to your hips as he pulls you closer. Head dropping to your neck, his hands curl around your pelvis before cupping your ass. When he squeezes the fleshy cheeks of your behind, you gasp. However, he doesn’t stop there. Fingers delving under the waistband of your underwear, he spreads your ass with one hand - the fingertips of the other brushing against your dewy slit.
A low groan resounds through the air, Hoseok’s chest rumbling against yours, “You’re already wet. God, I forgot how responsive you are,” he rasps. His warm breath fans over the naked flesh of your shoulder, and over your back, causing the hair at the nape of your back to stand on end.
“H-Hoseok,” you stammer out, your head nuzzling deeper into the crook of his neck when you feel him lightly trace the outline of your folds.
“What do you want, Petal?” Hoseok questions. The sound of the familiar pet name causes your heart to clench. Vividly, you remember the way he used to call you Petal, his fingers ghosting over your clit as he brought you to climax. Though, this time it’s different. Before, whenever he called you Petal, the pet name would drip with desire and dominance. Now, however, it’s filled with tenderness - his soft voice causing your chest to cave from the weight of the emotions that well up inside you.
The muscles of your throat tighten, and simultaneously, your tongue ties as you try to force the words out. “You. I want you,” you choke out. There’s more truth to them than he knows - than he’ll probably ever know. The magnitude of your words ring heavy in the air, the atmosphere shifting slightly. Hoseok hums in approval from above you, his finger still tracing teasing circles over your folds.
“Where?” he murmurs. Taking a deep, shuddering inhale, your heart races. Everywhere - is the first thought that springs to your mind. You want to feel him everywhere: feel yourself drown in his embrace, inhale the intoxicating scent of earth and spice that wafts around him, taste the sweetness that is his essence. You want to sink into everything that makes up the entirety of Hoseok’s being. But the confession sits heavy at the back of your throat, the words turning to ash in your mouth as you feel your tongue dry.
Instead, “I-In my a-ass,” you stutter out. Choking out the words, you feel your ears heat - your flesh searing in embarrassment. You know he can feel your mortification - he’s the only one who can read you like a book - but rather than pointing it out, he places a soothing kiss to the edge of your shoulder.
Drawing away from you, “get on the bed,” he urges.
On shaky limbs, you do as he says. Falling to the bed with a bounce, you shuffle backwards. You watch him slowly shed his own clothes, until he’s dressed in nothing but his boxers. Trepidation and want pools in the pit of your abdomen, your stomach twisting as you watch him slowly approach you once. Momentarily, he stops at his bedside table, and opening the mahogany draw, he begins rummaging around in it. Time moves slowly - the seconds ticking by at what feels like an excruciating phase as he searches through his bedside table.
Finally, he finds what he’s looking for. When he pulls out the small bottle of lube, your stomach flips. Crawling back onto the bed, he comes to a halt in front of you. Knees pressed to the bed, he leans back on the backs of his heels before gesturing to your with the wave of his hand. “On your hands and knees, Petal,” Hoseok commands softly. The light domineering tone is reminiscent of the way he used to beckon you to your knees - but again, this time, it’s different. His command is softer - and you simply can’t decipher the underlying current of tenderness clinging to his tone.
Nonetheless, you slowly flip yourself over. Bearing your ass to him, Hoseok dips forward and presses a soothing kiss to the base of your spine. You feel his fingers curl around the waistband of your underwear before he peels the article of clothing off of you. A soft sough drops from your lips when you feel the damp fabric pull away from your folds before he slides it down your thighs. Lifting your legs, you aid Hoseok in divesting you of your underwear. When he’s done, he turns back to your sex, and you bite your lip when you feel his dark gaze on your folds.
In this position, you’re bared completely for him - nothing hidden from him. Under his heavy stare, you feel yourself grow self-conscious once again. Curling into yourself, you bury your face into his pillow before taking deep breaths. The scent of earth and spice fills your senses, the calming scent soothing you instantly. From behind you, Hoseok drags his soft lips against the fleshy globes of your ass, before he presses two tender kisses to each cheek.
“Relax, Petal, I’ll take care of you,” Hoseok mumbles. His warm breath ghosts over the seam of your ass, the muscles of your thigh twitching in response. Taking another deep breath, you pull yourself together before nodding to him.
“What’s your safeword?” Hoseok asks and another wave of nostalgia hits you.
“Butterscotch,” you breathe out. Hoseok freezes behind you, his face crumpling as he hears the word.
“Still?”
You bite your lip at the light disbelief in his voice.
Butterscotch had been the safeword he’d chosen for you - because you’d consumed an unhealthy amount of it during your university years. Butterscotch reminded Hoseok of you - of the days you used to suck at the caramel sweets and drive him mad with lust: wishing you’d suck at his cock the same way. For you, however, butterscotch reminds you wholly of Hoseok; and the way he’d sweetly call your name when you came undone above him. And even now, years after him, and long since you’ve had him in your bed, butterscotch remains your safeword - the security blanket you’d never really been able to let go of.
“Still,” you reply, echoing his sentiment. Hoseok takes a couple of moments to let your words wash over him. Fruitlessly, he tries to figure out what it means; figure out why still, after all this time, you’d kept the same safe word. But he can’t make anything of it. So instead, he presses another sweet kiss to your skin.
“Okay. Say ‘Butterscotch’ if it gets too much, alright, Sweetness?” Hoseok breathes out. Sweetness. That’s a new one - you haven’t heard him call you that before. Sweetness; you repeat in your head. Over and over you play the name in your head, until it’s all you can hear: until you’re drowning in it.
Abruptly, you feel a cold liquid drip over the seam of your ass. Pulled back to reality, you buck your hips and hiss at the sensation. Hoseok pays you no mind, instead, dripping more of the lube over your twitching asshole. The click of the cap resounds through the still air and then silence. He’s incredibly still behind you, and you have to resist the urge to turn around and look at him. You have no idea what he’s waiting for - but the pause only has you growing tense again.
Without warning, he presses a finger against the rim of your ass. You groan, your thighs quivering when you feel him softly trace the outline of your puckered hole. His touch is gentle - reverent - as he traces your back entrance. The slim finger barely ghosts over your flesh, his finger moving in feathery circles. He’s barely doing anything, yet heat begins prickling along your spine. Just the soft strokes of his fingers has pleasure rippling through you, and briefly, you wonder what it would feel like to have him actually inside you.
Though, you don’t have to wonder long - because the next thing you know, Hoseok is applying pressure to your asshole. Under the force of his lubricated finger, your ass slowly opens up for him. Simultaneously, the two of you hiss: you in the odd pleasantness of your ass opening up around his slim finger; and Hoseok in incredulity as the hot tightness of your ass muscles squeeze his fingers.
“Fuck, that’s tight,” Hoseok mutters. Experimentally, he wriggles his finger inside you, causing a cry to tear through your throat. It’s definitely a strange sense of fullness - but you can’t deny the sheer undercurrent pleasure that tremors through you.
“M-More,” you choke out, softly bucking against his hand.
A deep exhale, “Fuck- okay,” Hoseok rasps out. You feel another squirt of lube against your ass, the puckered rim twitching as the cold feeling. Slowly, Hoseok begins thrusting his finger into you, gradually opening up your muscles for him.
Low keening whimpers emanate from your throat, wetness flooding your sex as you feel his finger plunge leisurely inside you. Hoseok moves with deliberate motions, his lips ghosting over your ass in soothing butterfly kisses. “Are you okay? Speak to me, Petal,” Hoseok urges, picking up the pace slightly.
Head spinning with pleasure, you hazily register his words, “G-good. It feels good. Hobi- please, more,” you reply with a strangled moan.
At your behest, Hoseok presses a second finger into you. You feel the tight ring of muscles stretch for him. Discomfort stings at your ass, the slight ache making you wince. Hoseok mumbles an apology, peppering another kiss to the base of your spine. Even as he does that, however, he continues pushing the second finger into you. Once it’s knuckle deep, he stills - letting you grow used to the sensation.
“How’s that?” he asks. Shaking your head, you try to clear your head. Your mouth is dry, throat completely parched. Hands aching, you unclench them from the sheets - when had the happened?
“It’s alright. Just- just give me a moment,” you breathe out. Hoseok nods behind you. You both stay like that for long moments - the internal muscles of your ass twitching every now and then. When you grow accustomed to the stretch, you experimentally clench around his fingers. You cry out in pleasure when your ass squeezes his digits, a low thrum of bliss swirling in your stomach.
“Okay, y-you can move,” you stammer out. With your permission, Hoseok begins thrusting his fingers into you once again. With every plunge of the dainty appendages, your stomach twists and tightens. Muscles of your thighs quivering, you lose yourself in the pleasure of Hoseok’s fingers stretching your ass out.
Foreignness of it all fading away, you’re left with nothing but utter, blissful rapture. A third finger teases at your entrance - and this time, when Hoseok pushes it into you - the muscles of your ass are relaxed - and you easily accept the third digit. The stretch feels euphoric, and sinking further into unadulterated intoxication, you push your ass against him.
Deliberately, Hoseok plunges his fingers into you - his eyes trained on the way your ass swallows his digits. Lube slicks his appendages, the slippery fingers coating your internal muscles in the slick lubrication. Within the confines of his boxers, his cock strains, pulsating with need as he continues fucking his fingers into your ass. His throat constricting, he spreads all three fingers inside you: in a scissoring motion, as he stretches you out further.
The sudden action has you crying out, your back contorting in euphoric elation. Hoseok lets out a deep shudder at the sight - once tense with nervousness, your shoulders are completely relaxed now - you’re ass pushing back against his digits. Once again, he spreads his fingers - trying to spread you out as much as possible for his cock. The stretch has your rolling back once again, your pussy clenching around nothing as you drip onto his sheets.
“Want you. Fuck- Hoseok I want your cock,” you slur out, your hips picking up the pace as you try to fuck his fingers deeper into you.
“I need to stretch you out more or-” Hoseok tries to argue. However, fists gripping the sheets harder, you shake your head.
“I’m ready! Please, I just wanna feel your cock. Please,” you plead. Hoseok waivers for a brief moment, but the desperation in your voice, paired with his own aching cock, has him giving in.
Retreating his fingers from your ass, he grabs the bottle of lube again. You hear him uncap the contained before squirting some on his cock. Slick sounds of his palm rubbing over his cock fill the air as he preps his cock for your ass. However, when he presses the head against your asshole, you twist your hand back and stop him.
“What’s wrong? Do we need to stop?” Hoseok asks. Quickly, you shake your head before flipping yourself onto your back. Hoseok’s eyes widen at your new position. “What-” he begins, only to have you cut him off.
“I want to see you,” you breathe out. Eyebrows furrowing, Hoseok looks at you in concern.
“It’ll be more comfortable on your knees,” he tries to reason. However, steadfast and resilient, you shake your head.
“I want to see you,” you whisper again. This time, there’s a heavy undercurrent of emotion lacing through your voice. Large imploring eyes staring at him, you plead for him to give into you, and completely captivated by you, Hoseok knows he can’t deny you. There’s very little he could refute when it comes to you. You may not know it, but there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to see you happy.
Nodding in surrender, Hoseok helps manoeuvre your legs so your ass is spread for him. Legs bent at the knee, he presses them against your chest. The muscles strain, pulling taut at the new positioning. Nonetheless, you ignore the slight discomfort - far too wired by the thought of Hoseok’s cock in your ass.
Shuffling between your thighs, Hoseok presses the weepy head of his lubed cock against your slick asshole. Then, he slowly begins thrusting into you. Feeling the blunt head of his cock slowly enter your ass - stretching the tight ring of muscles - you suck in a deep breath. His girth is thinner than the width of his three fingers, and aided by the slipper lubrication, he slides in fairly easy.
However - Hoseok’s cock is much longer than his fingers - and soon you feel discomfort deep within your stomach. Wincing, you feel his cock spread open the untouched territory of your ass, the blunt head spearing you open for him. Through it all, you stare up at him - watching the way he sucks in deep breaths, his face twisting in pleasure as the hot muscles of your asshole rhythmically pulsate around you.
Eyes fixated on him, you take him in. It’s been so long since you’ve seen him like this - naked and fucked out: all for you. Sinewy muscles ripple under taut, caramel skin - his flesh glistening with a light sheen of perspiration. Bathed in sunlight, he glows from above you - shimmering in the amber rays as if he were some ethereal being sent by the heavens themselves. Your throat constricts and you feel your heart clench once again.
With his cock deep inside your ass, you don’t think you’ve ever felt more connected to him than you do right now. Hoseok feeds the last inch of his cock inside you, his hips pressing against the fleshy cheeks of your ass. When you feel your ass swallow the last inch of his shaft, you cry out in pleasure. Heavy lids beckon you to shut them, but you refuse. You want to savour this moment. Right here, right now, you want to remember everything.
Eyes raking over him - you ingrain this one memory into the back of your head. The way the corded muscles of his arm twitch, braced on either side of you. Deep chocolate eyes staring at you, his warm obs half-lidded and fluttering as he tries his best to hold still and not fuck into you. How the muscles of his abdomen ripple under his skin as his cock pulsates inside you, synchronous to the way your ass contracts around his shaft. All of it. You commit it all to your memory - because if this is the last time you have him in your bed, and inside you, you never want to forget it.
Tears pool in your eyes, but you blink them away. Seeing them, Hoseok bends over and presses gentle kisses to your lids, hushing you softly. You have no doubt that he thinks it’s due to his cock in your ass - but it’s not. It’s so much more than that. It’s the feeling of fullness, of wholeness, as you feel him deep inside your stomach. It’s the way your hurt aches looking at him - wishing he was yours for the rest of your lifetime. It’s the way you’re completely in love with him - your best friend - the only constant in your life these past few years.
“Are you okay?” Hoseok whispers, his nose brushing against yours. You close your eyes at the tender action. A part of you wishes he wasn’t so sweet - that he wasn’t so… Hoseok - just so that this would be a little less overwhelming - so your feelings wouldn’t be so overpowering. But he is sweet, and he is Hoseok, and you’re so desperately in love with him that you wish to feel him deeper into you.
A deep shuddering breath exhales from your nose, “I’ve never been better. Please move. I want to feel you,” you reply. You’ve never spoken truer words - because despite the staggering weight of emotions you feel for him, you haven’t been better and you do want to feel him - entirely and absolutely.
At your words, Hoseok slowly moves his cock - retreating it out of you before thrusting back in. Each plunge has his cock dragging against your inner ass muscles, the ridged veins of his shaft only adding to your pleasure. Slowly, Hoseok begins thrusting into you - his hips snapping against your fleshy cheeks with every plunge. He doesn’t move quickly - keeping his pace slow and mind-numbing - but he moves deep, his cock burying to the hilt with every movement.
White-hot pleasure begins racing through you, your veins searing in pleasure. Every time his cock impales you, you’re pushed closer and closer to the precipice of your orgasm. Hoseok senses your impending orgasms, the hot muscles of your ass erratically clenching around his cock; subsequently, your pussy clenches around nothing - dribbling your wetness over the seam of your ass: only adding to the lubrication.
“Are you cumming, Sweetness?” Hoseok asks. He dips further down, his torso pressing against your shins. The weight of his body against your legs forces your limbs further against your chest and you groan in pleasure. Impossibly, the change in angle has him hitting deeper inside you - so deep you feel him within the back of your stomach.
“P-Please,” you stutter out. Rapturous ecstasy flits through you, teasing and taunting at your being as you feel yourself teeter towards the brink of your orgasm.
One hand twists between your body, and suddenly, you feel Hoseok’s fingers against your pussy. Your eyes snap wide open, coming face to face with dark coffee eyes. Hoseok’s fingers thrum against your pulsating, engorged bud - working the bundle of nerves with his deft digits. “Cum, ____. Cum for me,” Hoseok urges.
The soft command, paired with the way he still relentless drags his cock in and out of your ass, and his fingers dancing across your clit, has you careening off of the edge and straight into pleasure. Back twisting off the bed, your head falls back as you cry out. Thighs trembling, you feel elated bliss course through your veins; a rush of euphoria searing across your skin as you cum.
From above you, Hoseok lets out a grunt. Your pussy clenches around nothing - but he can feel the force on the contractions mirrored in the muscles of your ass. His pace turning erratic, he thrusts a few more times inside you. When his balls tighten, he pushes as deep into your ass as he can. Cock swelling inside you, you cry out when he spills his cum inside you. Rope after rope of thick, warm cum fills you up - coating your internal walls and bathing you in his seed.
Euphoria blitzing through him, Hoseok’s tongue loosens from his own mind-numbing pleasure and you hear him slur something out. Despite the haze fog that clouds your mind, his words register as clear as day in your mind and you find yourself grounded to reality instantly.
With wide eyes, your gaze flits over him - looking at him in a mixture of utter disbelief and hope. You watch as he heaves for air from above you, in a bid to satiate the burn in his lungs. Once he’s pulled himself together, his eyes open and you once again meet warm umber eyes. Seeing your mouth open wide, shock apparent on your face, Hoseok’s eyebrows twist into confusion.
“Did you mean it?” you whisper. Your question only has his brows knitting further together.
“Mean what?” he rasps out. Despair washes over your face and you feel that inkling of hope wither inside you, tears stinging at your eyes. Seeing the signs of distress clear on you, Hoseok’s eyes widen in alarm. Slowly, he pulls his cock out of you. You wince at the sensitivity, his cum spilling out of your ass. Ignoring the feeling, you bite your lip and press the heels of your palms against your eyes - willing the tears away.
Immediately, Hoseok’s hands are gently wrapping around your wrists. Slowly, he tugs them away from your eyes - even as you resist. “What’s wrong? What did I say?” Hoseok practically pleads, imploring you with his earnest eyes. You shake your head, not wanting to repeat the words. “____,” Hoseok breathes out, urging you once again.
Hearing the pleading tone, your face crumples, “you said you love me,” you whisper out. Hoseok stiffens above you before he grows quiet. You shut your eyes, turning your head and bracing yourself for his imminent rejection.
“Would it be so bad if I do?” Hoseok asks. Your eyes snap open at his broken voice. Frantically, you search his eyes for any trace of a lie, or insincerity. When you find none, however, your heart flutters in your chest. From above you, Hoseok sighs, before running a hand through his vermillion hair. “You don’t have to say anything. I don’t expect you to reciprocate and I definitely didn’t mean to tell you like this but- but I do. I love you, so much,” Hoseok confesses. His words are like music to your ears, and a different type of elation thrums through you.
“I’m sorry if this changes things-” Hoseok continues.
Unable to help yourself, and a rush of euphoria drumming through your soul, “I think having your cock in my ass is what changed things,” you giggle. Halting at your words, Hoseok’s eyelids widen slightly. Gaze raking over you, he takes in the sight of your satiated smile and twinkling eyes.
“What-” he begins. However, you only giggle in exuberance once again.
Sobering at the slight hurt in his eyes, you smile gently at him. Straining your arms, you cup his cheeks. Then, lifting your head, you ignore the way your muscles twitch in protest. Instead, you place a tender kiss against his lip. “I love you too, Hoseok” you confess - reiterating his previous sentiments.
“Wait- are you serious?” Hoseok splutters in incredulity. Nodding with a giggle, you press another kiss to his lips.
“I’m serious. I love you,” you repeat. This time, Hoseok searches your eyes for any sign of deceit - but like you, he finds none. A large grin curls onto his face, and suddenly, he’s giggling alongside you.
“Have we been in love with each other this entire time?” he asks, shaking his head in exasperation at the thought. You can’t help but chuckle, your cheeks aching from smiling so hard.
“In a way, it makes sense. It’s always been me and you,” you respond.
Hoseok’s face crumples, his eyes softening. Then, he’s bending down and pressing a kiss to your temple. “Yeah… always me and you,” he breathes out. Moving above you, you feel his cock brush against your wet folds. Hissing in pleasure, your hands fall to his ass: fingers gripping his soft, plump cheeks.
“H-Hobi,” you mewl out, instinctively bucking into him.
“Round two already?” he chuckles.
With another nod, you press a kiss against him, “I want to feel you again,” you whisper against his lips. At your words, Hoseok groans. Dragging his cock against your folds, he positions the tip at your entrance.
Then, with one smooth thrust, he slides home into you.
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a/n: god if it wasn’t obvious i fucking love jung hoseok
⇥ Kofi | Masterlist
1K notes · View notes
agustdiv1ne · 3 years
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thank you + milestone!!
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damn, never thought we'd get here, did we?
in all honesty, it's been a pretty shit year. march 'til now has felt like the same month on repeat with tiny tweaks to make it all so much worse. but i'm not here to complain about the worst parts of this year, i'm here to celebrate the best ones.
this was the year that i finally started writing, that i was finally spurred to open a google doc and just type away until a tiny work of fiction stared back at me. my first one was 1k words, a rant to get all of my emotions off of my chest with an idol as my muse. it felt...great, though it also felt a bit odd writing after being an avid reader for years. i always did prefer essays to creative writing, but this year definitely changed that perspective.
i wrote that first blurb along with another fic in late july, and in early august, i asked my friends if i should post them. om august 3rd, i changed this blog from a fic rec to a fic writing blog just like that. i regret none of it.
it's been nearly five months since i revamped this blog and i couldn't be more grateful for the support i have gotten from all of you, whether it be a kind comment, a like, a reblog, all of it. i never thought anyone would like my content, but i've been proven severely wrong by this community. from my irls that are on here, to my lovely mutuals and followers, to those i've talked to a lil bit on this hellsite, to the writers whose fics i absolutely adore, to those who have left a like or a comment on one of my fics, i want to say thank you from the very bottom of my heart ♡
have a happy and healthy new year! i love and appreciate every single one of you!!
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though i'm painfully bad at writing letters and getting all sappy, i wanted to write them anyways hahaha let's goooo
to @hwaddict:
my irl best friend!! my partner in crime!!!! i love you sm carly, and there are not enough words in this world for me to describe the extent of my love. you have been there for me during my lowest moments, you've seen me cry, and i don't cry in front of many ppl. i trust you with my life and i'm so glad that we became friends back in middle school bc you are one reasons that spur me to keep going. i can't wait to see where life takes us and know that while i might not always be able to be there physically (especially with college right around the corner), i will always be there for you in any way i can be. again i love you and i can't wait to conquer next year with you ♡♡
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to @hopejanaee:
hope!! hobi!!! one of my irls! though we just became friends earlier this year, it feels like we've been friends for ages. it's crazy how close we grew so quickly but i am so grateful to have you in my life. you never fail to make me laugh whenever we're together and you're so chaotic but in such a good way hahaha. you were the one who got me into writing with your own wonderful fics so thank yoi for that. i'm so happy that we became friends because you're so kind and caring and ahhhhhh i love u sm ♡
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to @oikawasmilkbread:
we talked for like 0.2 seconds but you are so kind and hella cool!! it was nice having random conversations with you and i'm so glad you randomly dmed me bc i am shy and i have 0 idea how to start conversations with anyone lmao. i always smile when i see you in my notifs! i hope you have a happy new year!!! ♡
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to @luthenia:
i know you're on hiatus but seeing you in my notifs always excites me hahaha. we never talk but you are so supportive of everyone in this community and i just wanted to shout you out for that! your memes are top tier LMAO and i can't wait for when you come back, happy new year ♡
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to @starsforten:
we also talked for approximately 1 second but it was so fun talking to you about astrology stuff (virgo sun libra rising gang hahahaha) and those teuta matoshi dresses! you are so nice and easy to talk to and i hope your new year is happy and fruitful! ♡
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i recommend every single one of these blogs for their amazing content!! i added some of my favorite fics as i'm a whore for great writing hahaaaa
@kinktae
waterloo — a masterpiece! taehyung is so bitter at the beginning and it's adorable seeing how y/n breaks his tough shell. loved this from beginning to the end ♡
hot rod — the 50s slang, the dynamic between hoseok and y/n...*chef's kiss*
@untaemedqueen
welcome to seoul land — werewolf!namjoon really got me going, 100/10 would recommend
graceful gods — this is one of my all-time favorites, greek god!jungkook has my brain going brrrr
@shadowsremedy + @therealmintedmango
support system — adorable!! this is a hybrid!yoongi fic i really enjoy, and the series isn't over yet! check it out~
@bratkook
tear you apart — demon!taehyung...holy shit. i was speechless
@tatertotthethot
the doms next door — THIS SERIES OMG, i've read each part at least five times already. taekook got me acting UP
scream (posted to @yandere-society) — a really cool take on the movie scream with jungkook, yandere fics don't always appeal to me but this one absolutely did
@ateezmakemeweep
broken — the immense ache i felt in my chest while reading this, but i loved both parts with a burning passion. san is so sweet in this :')
@atinybrew
dirty free for all — the ULTIMATE demon!san fic. the writing is absolutely immaculate and this is the first fic that had me blushing down my mf ARMS
rice milk lattes and bryophytes roads — another san fic admittedly because i'm whipped for san lol. anyways, this was cute and hot at the same time and best friend!yunho made my double biasing ass that much happier
@seacottons
pan — an adorable peter pan!hongjoong fic, it had my heart going achhfhsjfjsjf
sir kiss me — circus au with san holy hell i loved every twist and turn of this
@actuallythatwaspromise
bad romance — one of my favorite yunho fics ever, punk rock!yunho x nerd!reader has my entire heart
aurora garden center and desire ink — florist!mingi had me uwuing for the entire fic, this was adorable and i loved it sm
@yeonjuncore
every single fic on this blog is an absolute masterpiece, i swear
the devil's little angel — THIS IS ONE OF MY ULTIMATE FAVORITES, demon!yeonjun had me screaming and it was just so fun to read and i loved every single second of it so much that i've read it nearly ten times now. so go read it, you won't regret it!
the boy with the horns — another of my ultimate favorites (i told you, their writing is just that amazing), woodland fey!soobin just had me going so soft :(( i literally sobbed at one point, that's how invested i was
bleeding heart — the tension between vampire!yeonjun and vampire slayer!reader had me screeching
curtain call — i have a sad crush vampire!soobin
i love you, always — this felt so..bittersweet? taehyun loves y/n so much, i lowkey cried while reading this
@angelfic
the art of (mis)communication — i am a whore for both reconciliation and yeonjun, 100000/10 pls read this i beg of you
@angelictaehyun
growing pains — ahhh once again a yeonjun fic, my chest hurt a lil bit at some points but it was so sweet!!
@neovisioned
bed of spiderwebs — spiderman!mark has my heart screeching, i loved every second of it ♡
eddie ate dynamite — johnny suh coming for my throat yet again
cupid victorious — cupid!jaehyun :'))) definitely one of my favorites!!
@domjaehyun
quarantine chronicles — ok if you haven't read this or the part two yet then you're missing out big time!! the tension, the buildup, every single part of this fic was just *chef's kiss* but multiply thay by a million
all these years — every single moment of this felt so nostalgic and the ending was so sweet :')
@caiuscassiuss
muse — i keep going back to this one constantly, the angst in this phenomenal and i love artist!taeyong sm here
@neoct-zen
loverboy — HOT, AMAZING, I SCREAMED. the blurbs that accompany this are also top-tier i recommend reading each and every one!!
@moondustis
pink + white — i'm so soft for mark i stg, this was the cutest thing ever
@loviejaehyun
can't avoid this feeling — hockey player!mark is the best thing ever
all tied up — i just- screamed as i read this bc professor!jaehyun is too hot goodbye
@hopejanaee
incapable — this is one of the best yoongi fics i've ever read ngl, it's not completed quite yet but the parts that have been posted are top tier!!
breathless — THIS. I LOVED THIS. yuta is just so hfjshhfhshfnsn and i love this sm
@hwaddict
melting point — big boy mingiiii, 100/10 would recommend
@okayau
house next to mine — frat boy!yeonjun rly got me going, cute and hot at the same time ahhhhbfnsnnf
youth — ADORABLE, yeonjun's confession is peak i love it here
run away — how many yeonjun fics can i fit in this post? (answer: a lot) definitely one of my favorite harry potter aus!! it was awesome seeing how their relationship changed throughout the years and perhaps i teared up a little at the end :'))
@starrychannies
baby steps — ONE OF ALL-TIME MY FAVORITE FICS ON THIS SITE, every single part is so well-written and ahhhhhfhdhhf chan makes me feel some type of way
my stupid — another yeonjun fic! angsty but v cute at the end :')
@baekhvuns
this youth of craziness — 40k words of pure gold, this fic is absolutely one of my favorite san fics ever!!
replacement — prince!ten makes my brain go brrrr, i love how the y/n just speaks her mind here
@masterninjacow
untitled project — i saw soulmate au with mark and i knew would already love it, and i did! pizza boy!mark at that, amazing and i adored it
more amazing blogs!!: @galaxteez, @poutybinz, @lustjoong, @bloominghigh
these are just a few of the fics and blogs i found this year, find more on my fic rec blog @agustdiv1ne-recs!! (my thumbs are starting to hurt i'm so sorry bfjshfhsh)
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wrapping up each month since august since that's when i actually started posting LMAO
☆ august
03: good enough — chan
03: bloodsucker — seonghwa
04: cutie — san
09: veloxrotaphobia — mingi
19: want — changbin
21: numb — yunho
100 follower special — i reached 100 followers towards the end of august, my first ever milestone :') also my first ever time taking requests, 'twas very fun ♡
☆ september
03: on camera — jungkook
☆ october
27: oh, worm? — namjoon
31: demon days — san
☆ november
10: a letter to my love — xiaojun
23: bad for u — jaehyun
27: home sweet home — yeonjun
☆ december
christmas bash 2020 — my brain went hey what if you did this- and i listened so here's 17 holiday fics hahahaa (not all of them are out yet but i'm working on it!!)
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things i plan to release in 2021!!
☆ sunflower — jimin
☆ cross — yeonjun
☆ landslide — seonghwa
☆ nice save — san
☆ red — hyunjin
☆ a secret series (that will be revealed once i plan everything) — ateez
☆ 4 unrelated secret fics oOoOoo — will i reveal them? you'll just have to wait and see ;)
there will definitely be more posted! these are the ones that are going to be my priority at first, but my imagination is always churning so expect a lot more :)) check out all of non-secret wips here!
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i hit 500 followers a couple days ago! i nearly screamed when i saw that LMAO. thank you so much for liking my content because i work hella hard on it :') sometimes i feel like i don't deserve y'all really, but @hwaddict will yell at me if i say that so ig i take it back hfhshhdhg
a post for celebrating this milestone will come as soon as i finish up the rest of my christmas fics!! sorry that i'm so slow :( (hint: my requests will be open, so look out for it!)
so yeah!! that's it, sorry for the painfully long post (i'm sorry to my thumbs for typing this whole thing out </3). thank you to everyone who read this far!! i hope everyone has a happy and healthy new year, and in the words of txt's cover, fuck 2020. may 2021 be a much better year for all of us!!!
much love,
ashlee ♡
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cutebutstillsingle · 3 years
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... you mean designed to be deleted because the people at @Hinge are not the brightest crayons in the box?
I violated nothing, let me assure you. I have a master’s degree, I’m a perfectly upstanding citizen who was genuinely on Hinge hoping to engage in some harmless socialization with good men.  I wasn't even on there with the intention of seeking a romantic relationship after learning from my last bf (found on Hinge) that shit can’t be moving too quickly. You really gotta take your time with dudes these days. 
So here’s what went down when I reactivated my Hinge account this time, in 2021... 
Within one week of firing up a Hinge account I got Catfished and lied to three times. The first was by a person who didn’t mention they had children, until the baby showed up on the video date-from-home chat. Second, by a guy who looked nothing like his fucking pictures OK? Homie was a good 200 pounds bigger than the person in the photograph, looked nothing like the person in the photo except by maybe ethnicity, and even during the date-from-home video he refused to ever put the camera lower than to allow me to see the top third of his face, while blaming the strange angle on the lighting.  And then, the third, and the worst —I got tooth-fished. By which I mean unfortunately the dude was legit missing multiple front teeth. Which of course did not come across in his photos on his Hinge profile.
No offense to anyone toothless out there, but if you are toothless in your 30s and beyond, you should know by that age to get some dental work done. And if you’re cruising around hiding the fact that you’re the father of a toddler, or that you’re 200 pounds heavier than the photos you choose to put on your dating profile, I don’t know what to say about your mental stability and/or social intelligence. Except that you are lying.  You’re lying to the people on Hinge and you’re lying to yourself and in profound denial about your true state. 
To make a long story short, I’m sure it was one of these guys I had to un-hinge from who likely reported fake violations and got my account shut down. 
But getting banned Hinge did make me realize that as a woman, we need to craft our profile much more mindfully.  Because apparently at any moment’s notice you can get banned by the app without a reason, investigation, or warning.  And God only knows  who’s “reporting” your profile, or what is happening to your information and photographs.  For all you know, the 300 pound creepers with kids they’re hiding and no teeth are screenshooting all of your information, and doing who the hell knows with it. There is theoretically nothing stopping a creepy ass dude from taking all of your photos and turning them into another fake profile or throwing it up on some other website. Who the hell knows what any of these social media apps do with the world’s photos and information, is the point. 
That being said, here is my advice: 
-Leave  off any obvious identifiers that would easily allow yourself to be noticed in public if you don’t want the bitter rejected gentleman callers to be able to spot me in public. Or sex traffickers. Real talk. Listen up, ladies. 
- leave your rare breed pets off the account.
- leave all kids’ faces off dating profiles. I don’t even know how it’s legal for dating sites to allow children’s faces on them; even if it is your very own child, that’s not the point.  The reality is that sex traffickers can memorize you, screenshot that photo, and stalk you and your child at Walmart. Sex trafficking is so real in my state. It is a MAJOR problem. 
- Never, ever  feature your car on your dating profile. This should be sound advice for men, too. I know you males love to floss your vehicles cause dudes are obsessed with cars-- yeah maybe stop doing that. 
- For the love of god never, ever put your last name on a dating profile & maybe even shorten your first name or deliberately misspell a rare name so that stalkers don’t background check yo ass.  If they ask you “is that your real name?” let them believe whatever they want.  The only people who are safe to put a complete name on a dating site are men in the military. Because they know how to operate firearms and how to engage in hand-to-hand combat when they’re in a situation of danger.  The average woman? Not so much. Even those of you men who ARE soldier dads-- don’t put your firs and last name on that shit and make your children vulnerable to sex traffickers. 
- Don’t give people locational details, tell them where you work, or what businesses you own. You can say what industry you work in; so something like “Jenny. Teacher at Public School”. A guy who owns a very specifically-named health bar/ smoothie bowl business in my city told me he was the owner of what he claimed was a family business.  And he failed to realize that he is mixing business and personal life with complete strangers from the internet. If he makes a poor impression, or we don’t end up vibing, I can’t ever go into that business ever again, yenno? And I really like that business. So I made it clear that I would prolly not pursue anything. And I suggested he not tell girls the name of his (family) business, for the business’ sake. 
- Never use your actual phone number as you are getting to know guys from dating sites. Two words: google voice. if you meet up IRL and he is safe & cool, then he may earn your real number thereafter.
- Be extra cautious with travelers. Many men vacation-date. Hell, I’ve vacation-dated, many times (domestically, not internationally).  And you do not know who those fools really are. They could be married. They could have criminal records. Not only are they complete strangers but they are complete strangers from different states. Pay attention to the details they give you. for example, I was talking to a guy on Hinge who said he was a doctor. And then he said he got a Covid test from CVS in order to prepare for his trip to my state. His hometown listed one location, and then he said he lived in another state. I’m the kind of woman who pays attention to these kinds of details. If the man is a medical doctor, why would he need a Covid test from CVS? Would he not be able to get one from the hospital he works at??? Why is Hinge more concerned about people’s ‘hometown’ then they are with someone’s city of residence, yenno? Just me? 
Anyway, I hope these safety tips keep you safer out there as you navigate the treacherous seas of online dating. And now you all know that Hinge will spontaneously delete your account at random if they feel like it.  Maybe Hinge deleting my account unfairly is a blessing in disguise...
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izzy-b-hands · 4 years
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Father To Son
So, the topic of Freddie and Jim and how they might handle raising a teen came up in the DL server today, and after a bit of prompting from the folks there, I came up with this! It’s just a little snapshot, though it does give I think a good view of the parental relationship. And who knows, if folks like this maybe I’ll keep this AU going and write a follow up!
Set in about 1988, in an AU where everyone is healthy and fine (because that’s what makes me happy and what I’m going with here, dang it. Everyone is going to live and thrive and that’s just how it is. I can’t bring anyone back or change what happened irl, but the land of fic gives me some other options while letting me respect what actually happened.) 
A note that this does operate with the idea that the government would have made a special (and because bullshit homophobic politics) secret allowance for Freddie and Jim to foster/eventually adopt a kid (I don’t talk about it in the fic here, but the HC that goes w/that is that as much as Freddie hates it, his being famous is a big part of what gets them to say yes to them re: fostering.) 
“Tell me why we decided to do this again?” Freddie asked, wincing at the slam of the door upstairs. 
“Because we wanted to have a slightly bigger family than us, and the cats, and everyone that lives here with us,” Jim replied. “And we wanted to provide a safe, happy home for a child in need.” 
There was a crash from upstairs, and they both winced. 
“That was probably something expensive,” Phoebe sighed as he walked through the sitting room. “Let me go up and see if he’ll let me in to clean up.” 
“No, let him be, if he wants to be that way,” Freddie said. “He can clean it up himself later.” 
“But will he, or will he pout and refuse to do it?” Phoebe asked with a raised brow. 
“I’ll talk to him later; he’ll be the one to clean up,” Jim said definitively. “He needs some time to cool down.” 
A loud, voice-cracking-right-in-the-middle-of-it shriek came next. 
“Dare I ask what set this off?” Phoebe mused. 
“We told him he can’t have that little girlfriend of his over with his door shut, that’s all,” Freddie scoffed. “As if my parents would have let me have anyone over and let me even go near my room alone with them. Would yours have let you do that?” 
Phoebe shrugged. “Might have depended on the person.” 
“Mine might have,” Jim said. “But they’d also put the fear of God into me that I wasn’t to get anyone pregnant.” 
“Not really something they needed to worry about,” Freddie smirked. 
“No, not really,” Jim admitted. “But he doesn’t know all that, and doesn’t see it that way. Put yourself in his shoes, when you were fifteen, would you be thinking of it like we are?” 
They paused. 
“No,” Freddie mumbled. “Would have tried and failed to throw a fit about it, probably, then sat there fuming after I got shut down.” 
“I’d like to think I’d react decently,” Phoebe said. “But I know that’s not true. It’s just how that age is, it’s a difficult time for anyone.” 
The sound of footsteps thundering back downstairs caught them all, and their heads whipped to the entryway. 
Oliver stood there, a suitcase in hand, tears streaming down his face. “I’m going to live with her. You can’t stop us hanging out together then.” 
“Oh my god,” Freddie tsked. “You aren’t going to live with her.” 
“You can’t stop me!” 
“Fine, we can’t stop you,” Freddie said. “Which cat shall we give your room to, then?” 
Oliver, who had been reaching for his trainers, stopped moving, and turned back to him. “What?” 
“You’re insistent, you’re leaving,” Freddie continued. “Fine. But we can’t just leave your room empty. It’s still yours while you’re here though, so which cat do you want to have it?” 
Oliver let out a nervous giggle. “You’re joking.” 
“I’m as serious as you are about leaving,” Freddie said. 
“Y-you’ll miss me though.” 
“We would,” Jim interjected. “You’re our son, and we’d very much like you to not leave, I feel you should know. But then again, your father did throw me out the last time we argued-” 
“Yeah, but you came back though, and you both said it was silly, and he shouldn’t have done that and you shouldn’t have gone,” Oliver interrupted. He’d dropped his suitcase to the floor. 
Jim nodded. “And we certainly aren’t throwing you out now, because we wouldn’t ever do that to you.” 
“Might think about it, on the days you act like a little shit,” Freddie admitted. “But we never actually would, you’re supposed to be here! However, if you really mean to leave, and if this girl’s parents want you...” 
“Well,” Oliver mumbled. “They grounded her for coming here without telling them.” 
Phoebe motioned to them that he was leaving to check for any broken things in Oliver’s room, but raised a brow at Oliver’s statement. 
“And did her parents want to talk to us at all about that?” Jim asked. 
Oliver nodded. “They said they didn’t care if it was only one of you, cause they know it’s all a big secret thing that who my foster parents are doesn’t get out and what not, and I don’t even think they have any idea that it’s...you two. But they wanted to talk to you and I...” 
“This is why you were home late from school,” Freddie sighed. “Come, sit down. Talk.” 
“No, I’m going!” Oliver said, and picked his bag back up. “I said I was done here, and I meant it!” 
They shared a glance and bit back smiles. It wasn’t that they didn’t understand how serious it was to Oliver, but from the vantage point of an adult, it was almost adorable. 
“Okay,” Freddie said. “Tell us the rest before you go to her parents, who I’m guessing do not want you anywhere near their daughter.” 
“They didn’t say that exactly,” Oliver said. “Just...I told them that I’m almost an adult, so they could just talk to me, and they said no, they wanted one of my parents, and I said fuck that, and-” 
“Oliver!” Jim was aghast. “I know we didn’t raise you from a baby, but you can’t tell me you were taught to talk to someone’s parents like that; I don’t believe it.” 
“Well, no,” Oliver whined. “But you should have heard them! Talking about how I wasn’t a ‘good influence’ on her, and must want her to end up out of school raising my kids or something, on welfare programs-” 
He dropped his suitcase again and threw his hands up. “I don’t even like her like that; we’re friends! Why would I ever want to...do that with a girl? She’s my friend, that’s disgusting!” 
Another shared glance, this time holding a full discussion of ‘Is he...’ and ‘Does he not know that he’s...’ 
“Oliver,” Jim said slowly. “Just a question, and you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to, or aren’t comfortable-” 
“But who do you see yourself...doing that with, as you put it?” Freddie interjected. “I think I have an idea, but I don’t want to presume anything.” 
“I..I don’t know, I guess,” Oliver said, blushing. “I mean, I do know, and there is Sam at school, but he’s...he’s got a girlfriend, and he’s really lovely and I’m not and so it wouldn’t happen anyway and-” 
“This wasn’t ever about us asking you to close your door, was it?” Jim interrupted. “Or it was, only in the sense that you can’t understand why we would have asked you to at all, when Claire is only your friend.” 
Oliver nodded. “All we were doing was listening to music, and I’m not interested in her like that, and I never would be! I don’t...get that.” 
“I do ponder,” Freddie said. “How much of this comes from you growing up the last few years here.” 
“He’s been around straight people,” Jim said. “We’ve had Mary and her family over before, and John, Roger, and Brian and all of their families.” 
“I know, but-” Freddie started.
“Are you two trying to figure out if you made me gay?” Oliver interrupted. “I’ve known since I was like...I don’t know, even. I just never thought about girls like that. Boys, yeah. But not girls. It’s never been a thought in my mind.” 
“You can’t ‘make’ someone gay,” Freddie said. “And I think you know that already, but I only worried that you haven’t seen the full spectrum of relationships, and what they can be, that’s all I meant.” 
“I have,” Oliver said. “Seen that, I mean. I know how you and Dad love each other. I’ve seen your bandmates, and their families. Mary with her husband and Mack, when they’ve been over. You haven’t like...deprived me of anything. I just don’t know why you’d think I was like them. I mean, they told you why they placed me with you, right?” 
They shook their heads. 
“It wasn’t discussed much aside from that it was a lot of money, a lot of arguing with the government, and a lot of promising to keep it secret until you were grown that they’d let a gay couple foster a child,” Freddie said. “What did they tell you about it?” 
“I asked for parents who would accept me,” Oliver said. “And they always told me ‘we can’t promise anything, just be happy a family wants you’, you know. But then they said there was a family that would be perfect for me because they were...like me. I figured you already knew all of that, and knew I was gay.” 
“It was not mentioned to us, or we would never have bothered you about having Claire over,” Jim said. “Now, we might have said something about the days Sam was over, had we known-” 
“I did think it was weird that you never made me leave the door open with him,” Oliver interrupted. “Even though it would never happen; he’s got stupid Laura-” 
“Don’t,” Freddie said sharply. “You won’t get anywhere holding onto hatred like that. There’s someone out there for you, just maybe not Sam.” 
Oliver opened his mouth to protest. 
“No, hear me out. I have spent literally my entire life thinking I wouldn’t be loved properly. Wouldn’t find anyone. Tried again, and again, and had no luck in finding someone that made me happy,” Freddie continued, and looked to Jim. “That I could make happy.” 
“But then your father and I found each other, and he fought me, so he won me,” Freddie said. “But I spent years upset and angry and horribly sad and bitter about it, in turns with the good moments where I thought, with each boyfriend, that maybe I’d found the right person. But those moments could have been even better, had I not been hanging on to all of the rest of that.” 
Oliver nodded. “I don’t really hate Laura. Just jealous.” 
“And that’s okay,” Jim said. “It’s normal to feel something like that. But you can’t take it out on either of them; you’re responsible for your feelings. You know that.” 
He nodded again. “Claire’s parents really are still mad at me. I don’t think I can go over there until you guys talk to them. Can I stay here?” 
Freddie stood and walked over to wrap him in a hug. “What a stupid question. Of course you’re staying here; we weren’t going to let you leave!” 
“I thought you said there were no stupid questions?” Oliver asked, his voice muffled with his face pressed against Freddie. 
“There are when it comes to something like that,” Freddie said, letting him go. “This is your home! You’re always welcome here, even after you get old and go away from us and only visit at the holidays.” 
“I’ll visit more often than that,” Oliver said with a small smile. 
“And that’s lovely, but if you’re too busy living your life and being happy, then we’ll be chuffed just to see you at Christmas,” Freddie said. “The most important thing is that you’re happy, and that you know you can always come back home. The cats may unofficially take over your room while you’re away, but we won’t actually give it to them.” 
“I can share with them,” Oliver laughed. 
“Isn’t that basically what we all do already?” Jim asked as he joined them, and quickly grabbed Oliver’s suitcase from the floor. “We live here, but really only because they allow us...” 
Oliver nodded, then winced. “I sort of broke a vase. In my room. I’m sorry about that, but I should go help Phoebe clean it. I know that’s what he went to go do, but it’s my mess.” 
He took his suitcase from Jim, and trotted back upstairs to his room, calling for Phoebe as he went. 
They both let out a sigh once he was out of earshot. 
“Can you believe I asked them if we could have more than one, at one point?” Freddie asked. “What was I thinking, the stress from just one is enough, oh my word-” 
“I know,” Jim interrupted, a hand at Freddie’s hip, pulling him close. “But I think we’re doing okay. We didn’t even have to prompt him to go help clean up, you know? And he wasn’t like that when he first got here.” 
Freddie nodded. “That’s true. A wonder what three years can do for a kid, apparently. Just never thought I’d be someone who would be the parent to do that!” 
“Well, you are,” Jim said, and kissed him on the cheek. “I should probably find the number for Claire’s parents, and call and apologize for what happened.” 
“You know I’d do it if they wouldn’t recognize my voice,” Freddie sighed. 
“I know,” Jim said. “Don’t worry about it; I don’t mind. Because you’re going to go give him...the talk, aren’t you?” 
“I mean it isn’t like they noted on the forms if he’d already had that talk,” Freddie said. “And now that we know he’s gay, that’s a talk we’re actually equipped and responsible to give him; can you imagine if he’d had straight parents trying to go over safe sex and relationships with him? He might try packing his things again, but may as well do it now, since the topic more or less came up...” 
“I don’t think he’ll do that,” Jim said. “All the same, good luck, and I’ll be up to help you as soon as I’m off the phone.” 
Freddie winced. “Good luck to you on that. Please let them know my apologies as well, and that we’re not going to let him talk to his friend’s parents like that again. Hopefully they won’t hold a grudge about it; I’d hate to think he couldn’t see Claire at all again over this.” 
They exchanged resolute nods, and headed in opposite directions: Freddie, upstairs to Oliver’s room, and Jim to the phone in the hall. 
And for the rest of the night, Garden Lodge fell happily, wonderfully, silent. 
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nataliedanovelist · 4 years
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(I did not draw this, my friend, @missinspi, drew this for me) (https://www.deviantart.com/missinspi)
Wanna read fics with this OC in it?
For a fic close to canon Gravity Falls (season 3?), read this.
For an AU about Stan and Ford getting a new neighbor at seven-years-old, read this.
Miscellaneous Oc Asks
@cityandking created a (relatively short) list of random, weird, hopefully interesting OC asks. Feel free to specify a character or just send a couple of questions, and then share it around!
What six CD’s would your OC keep in their car? Is it just a taste/preference thing, or do any of them have particular significance? I can’t think of any particular CDs, but as far as artists go... Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Queen (or in the Gravity Falls world, the band called King), ACDC, a disk full of instrumental piano music, and a Dolly Parton CD her friend Madeline Ingrid probably gave her.
What does your OC smell like? What does your OC wish they smelled like? Coconut butter, japanese cherry-blossom perfume, and occasionally disinfectant (she works at a hospital). She tried every hard to smell nice, as most women do, and if she feels like work is ruining that, she might use her favorite “stress relief” lotion to help overpower the smells of rubber gloves and baby spit up.
How aesthetically-oriented is your OC in their clothing? Their living space? Their general presentation? If their look™ is mismatched, is that on purpose? Hephzie has a plain, easy-to-follow fashion sense: blue-jeans with t-shirts for casual events, jeans with blouses for nicer days, and occasionally a sweater for the winter. She also has a small love for boys’ clothes; she won’t shy away from mens’ t-shirts or button-ups if they feel nice and look OK. Her living space is relatively tidy (having grown up with grandparents who needed clean floors to avoid falling) but she’s not a clean freak. Her living space is very artsy and mitch-match, having friends all over the world and she loves learning about different cultures. She might have a rug from India by her bed, but a quilt from Ireland on her bed and a small statue from Hawaii on her dresser. With a bunch of hand-me-downs and mis-match tastes, her overall aesthetic is old and comfort.
What one word would you use to describe your OC’s vibe? Chill.
What’s one mundane thing that would throw them off-kilter? Why? Nuclear families. She grew up with her Grandma and Grandpa on her mother’s side. She never knew her father and her mother abandoned her at a hospital, not even waiting to see what would happen to Hephzie. So Hephzie values family very much, but she sees no reason why blood should be the most important factor in the definition in “family”. The idea of a “normal” family, one with two parents who are married and in love, siblings, and occasionally cousins and aunts and uncles, is like a dream to her. It’s nice, but not for her.
What kind of AU is your OC best suited to? What kind of AU would be the worst? Is there any AU that would be, objectively, just really funny? Hephzie is in 2 AUs: one pretty close to canon Gravity Falls, and one in which she grows up as neighbors to Stan and Ford. Both AUs are very interesting and I love seeing how she responds to each scenario, but I think the more “tragic” of the two is the canon-like one. I’ve toyed with an AU of her becoming a singer and I can see it going either two ways: either she crumbles under the pressure and gets into drugs and overdoses, or she flourishes and uses her money and power for good, like feeding the hungry and helping the homeless find homes.
If your OC could pick a different name, title, or pseudonym for themself, what would they pick? Why? Have they ever been given an alternate name/title, and how do they feel about it? Well, her birth name is Alicia-Sarah Hephzibah Fisher Cece, but she HATES the name Alicia-Sarah and only goes by Hephzibah/Hephzie. In one AU, she legally “fixes” her name.
If your OC were playing D&D, what would their race and class be? What backstory tragedy™ would they give their character? Does that reflect their own life in any way? Be honest. Okay, because a certain extra-special person in her life loves D,D, & More D, she plays, too. She’s an woodland elf, a healer, and has very little interest in her character, but she likes the storytelling and the praise she gets if she manages to heal a wizard with pointy-ears and fluffy brown hair named Rokuro the Righteous.
Star Wars or Star Trek? A certain boyfriend of hers likes Star Trek better, but she likes Star Wars better. It’s been a bitter rival since the beginning of time.
If your OC is from a fantasy world, where in the real world would they come from? If your OC is from our world, which fantasy world would they most want to live in? Bonus: Would you ever write/RP them in that world? Hephzie grew up on Irish folktales (her grandmother’s family is from there), so she would love to meet færies and see magic and meet a selkie. Screw being a mermaid, she wanted to be a selkie! And... no, don’t expect a fic about this.
What plant, animal, and color does your OC feel like today? A Venus Flytrap, a mongoose, and the color dark-green. It’s been a rough day but she’s keeping a level head.
If your OC were a superhero, how flashy would their costume be? Also, what would their superpower be? Does this go with their costume at all, or are they all about fashion? #Can’tFightCrimeIfYouAin’tCute Well... in the canon-like AU, she’s kinda a superhero already, so... think something like a knight’s armor on the arms and legs with a maroon cape. Power would be healing, but she can also fight hella well with a sword and bow-and-arrows. And she’s never cared about looking good, she just wants to survive the war...
Does your OC thrift? Buy designer? Where would they shop irl? GOODWILL FOR THE WIN!!! She and her friends called it “treasure hunting” in high-school and it stuck. She loves it, and when a certain somebody came out with a song about it, she was livid (even if she was fifty-something years old).
Is your OC superstitious? If so, what superstitions do they believe? If not, what do they think of superstitious people? She’s constantly around the supernatural and abnormal... and loves it. She thrives off of what is different. So, superstitious?... Hm, she isn’t paranoid or afraid; she welcomes it with open arms.
Is your OC religious? Do they want to be? Have they ever been at some time in the past? How complicated is their relationships with worship/the gods/the church/etc? Her grandparents took her to church growing up and she loved the music. Her grandmother was the choir director and her grandfather played the piano, and she had “the voice of an angel”, so she happily sang in church, but she kinda stopped going to church when she went to college, but if you ask her she’ll tell you she’s a Christian. She says it just makes sense to believe in a god; there’s too much that science can’t explain. She also likes studying Buddhism, Islam, and Judaism to learn more about other people and cultures.
Hardwood, tile, or carpet? Hardwood. But she will NEVER say no to a fluffy rug.
What’s their go-to parlor trick? Are they actually that good at it, or do they just enjoy it? Do people tell them they’re good, even if they aren’t? How do they handle criticism? I can’t really think of a good parlor trick. She has a lot of talents she keeps on the down, like singing and stand-up comedy (don’t ask). On another note, she takes criticism overall pretty well.
If your OC could request one boon from a god, what would it be? The extermination of a certain three-sided demon.
Favorite comfort food? Do they enjoy junk food or are they more of a foodie? Can they cook? What’s their favorite thing to cook? OREOS are HERS! DON’T TOUCH THEM UNLESS YOU WANNA LOSE A HAND! She also secretly loves watermelon (doesn’t like to tell people this) and her comfort food is either hot tea or hot chocolate. Something to warm her hands. And no, she can’t cook; she burns everything. EXCEPT, she can brew coffee and she’s a pretty good barista (was one during college).
Any major theme(s) or conflict(s) in your OC’s life? How have they dealt with that? Are they aware of it, or do they ignore it? Did you design them with such theme(s)/conflict(s) in mind, or did they evolve naturally? Loyalty is a huge one for her. I think so many people have forgotten what it means to be a true friend and what real loyalty looks like. You’re willing to go far and wide for the people you care about because you want to, because you get fulfillment out of doing the right thing. Hephzie will have your back, no matter what. She doesn’t care what race, background, gender, sexuality, religion, she doesn’t give a shit. If you’ve got her, you’ve got a loyal friend. IOne thing she struggled with - and is only semi-aware of it - is loneliness. She finds it suffocating. It’s slight PTSD from losing so much in her life, and she’s not terribly clingy, but she’ll wallow about it and sink into depression if she feels abandoned or alone. She NEEDS that reassurance that she is not a freak and not alone and that SOMEONE would care if one day she was gone. This evolved naturally when shaping her backstory and realising it needed to have realistic consequences.
If they could steal one major piece of art with no consequences, what would it be and why? Bonus: how would they pull off the heist? Anything Bob Ross. Loves that guy. And she’d probably just recrute Stan to help her with either blackmail or her “Please, for me?” line.
Now it’s YOUR turn!
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pacifv · 4 years
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HE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.
First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.
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Mun Name: Mik      Age: 26      Contact: IM, discord
Character(s) I rp: Eden ( in bleach ) -- I have other ocs but that’s another story Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Eden... ? Current Fandom(s): Bleach , so far Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  more fantasy esque ones?  My language(s): spanish , english  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: fantasy , religious
Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  
Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM since this is pretty much new . just slap me with that and if you have some ideas , better --- if not let just brainstorm with what we have in hand . 
What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  some minimal idea of the context and eden’s character . some ideas if possible . more than often I have gotten people straight up jump with no clue of what even is going on in my side character wise . 
When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  depends , most likely really stop trying or let it sink . I’m not much of a person who would pressure for ideas when they don’t even come naturally for me in these kind of situations . 
How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  First of all , ask what they particularly want and if they read the bio . and of course , have their bio as well ( if oc or any relevant hc on vague canons ) . I am honestly a bit shy on the input but if I found a ground to start letting my imagination loose ( like , something in common between characters or something that clicks well with my muse ) I can suggest several things . but in any case , I’m pretty passive and it’s a lot of gives and takes . 
When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: depends on the thread , the time and the interest . things that go downtown in the excitement scale are :/  and I can’t blame anyone for dropping a thread . not all the time you will have muse for them , tho , if it was a relevant thread I would ask at least . - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  pretty much free to tell me or not . I’m no one to judge.
What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  losing muse , interest , time ... pretty much the same . feeling like my muse is going too OOC for the sake of the other muse or smth .  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.
Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  I am very old school and having some OOC interaction to at least know how things are going , it’s as much as I can ask here .  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  I mean , I should . it can turn me off a bit but it’s just natural ? there’s no way something can be perfect or be of someone’s taste . plus I am not that smart to be fully aware of all the things around the motif and IRL information I use on my muse . I’m no book , buddy. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.
Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  development , exploring the muse , seeing what works and doesn’t work . often new blogs for me are basically prototypes , they are and will  most likely have minor or major modifications as my imagination starts working and getting excited . besides , in the basics , you can hardly manage to cover all ( if anything ) of how one’s muse would react to X situation .
Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  a lot of quincy lore , come up with more personal connections with other quincies , fully develop a backstory and a post war scenario . cultural exploration  --- relationships of all kinds . 
Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  pretty much I am fine with anything as long as we don’t cross the gross line . but I’m not afraid of the dark .
What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: absurdly basic and with no context given . not even have an idea of what is the deal between muses . I can squeeze my brain but there is as much as i can do with little information .
What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  quirky ones , conflictive ones , most likely muses with specific motifs that spark my interest -- deepness . Aesthetically interesting ones . but overall , those who have out of the normal personalities . 
What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  personalities that doesn’t work or do not harmonize with the context of their characters . that’s all I can say .
What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I am.... creative ? gdi I did this meme already but it’s hard to reply these two ones. I am easily excitable . if we end up in a ship , expect me to be pampering af . I really enjoy the exploration of relations between people , emotions and psychological stuff tied around it . I do like casual and also very deep things . I’m not afraid of dealing with heavy topics . I like horror ???? also I am very into the secondary character role , as in : my muse is here to help your muse to grow or insight . that stuff . not much of a protagonist role in RPs. 
What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I’m .... very.... sporadic . My mood is annoying esp when I’m “new” blog around kind of thing . I’m shy , even if I don’t seem so --- I get pretty anxious over details . I am impatient --- with myself . I want to do so many things at the same time I end up overwhelmed . 
Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  mmmmmmmmm , both. Depends on mood and context tbh . - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  nothing I can think from the top of my head.
Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  again , I’m big mood for interpersonal relationships ( romantic or not ) , the pros and cos of certain traits , ideology clash , personality clash , anything that comes in a relation that could make it come and go .  - What is your smut tag?: unholy.
Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: all are hella okay for me . pre- est is my jam bc jesus christ the awkward first encounters make me go blue screen .
► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.
- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  the fact she is basically a “religious fanatic” , with a quirky personality and a questionable morality , considering she has an inner conflict between the wellness of her race and her loyalty towards yhwach . At least pre war . post war , she has a flipped personality were she is mostly bitter and more angsty but will go from fanatic to straight up hater . 
- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   bland personalities ? not sure myself , Eden is pretty much ready for anything since her personality is pretty laid back . I guess I would say shinigamis in general --- since she basically is stuck inside Silbern . - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Quincies , ofc . and people who are willing to put up with her crap .
- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  the prosperity of the quincy , doing a proper duty , order , tea , annoying the fuck out of people . being eerie ....  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  the ideal world as thought by Yhwach --- later on simply for her kind to survive after losing the war and being left to their luck . - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  mmm , appearance  and reactions to her witty or narcisistic comments .  - What do they value in a person?:    loyalty , uniqueness . - What themes do they like talking about?:  most likely about the order of the army , tea stuff , herself (?) , but she is also a lot for debates and insight . - Which themes bore them?:  rebellious , silly thoughts . justice related topics . anything that critics her loyalty/life style . 
- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  the first war was enough ? most likely losing comrades --- yhwach sacrificing the quincy for power later on .  - What could possibly trigger them?:  the simple sight of anyone laying a finger of the quincy for being against their views .   - What could set them off, enrage them?:  nothing. she cannot literally , physically get angry or enraged . but if we are talking bitter , that would be completely post war and it’s just the mention of yhwach’s name or those who went to god’s palace with him .  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  invasion of silbern , chaos . 
- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  chaos , rebels , shinigami , anyone against the quincy . - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   her race , her pride , herself .
Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  just .... come to her and say hi . she is literally wandering around silbern all the time ( quincy speaking tho ) . for others , eh ... good luck . and wait post war (?) - Where are they usually to find?:  Silbern ... then Siberia . 
Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  She is no saint , clearly . She has a questionable sense of things like loyalty and preservation of her race . she is honestly all over the place
CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥
Tagged by:  honestly stole from @skyvar​  Tagging:  no one in particular.
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phantombrushy · 5 years
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Some Story Ideas
Because a couple of people were interested ( @weresilver-in-space and @trekkie-in-space in particular), I’ll list some fics I have sitting in my Drive that are basically just waiting to be written. Outside of Trek Wars and rewriting some works already posted to ao3 (and one that’s going to remain a secret for now), I’m not sure where I should start. Lemme know what you guys want to see the most!
Hold Your Head High | ST: AOS | Bones/OMC
The king’s hand on his was warm, but the sword he held in his grasp was cold and heavy by contrast, much like the burden that came with wielding such a weapon. Leonard didn’t know if he could do this.
The Enterprise is sent to an alien planet to ease negotiations between a kind King and the Federation. However, the away team find themselves swept up into a civil war they have no choice but to fight their way through in order to survive.
To The Ones Who Didn’t Deserve It | ST: AOS | Gen
This is a story about how anger and hate can destroy us from the inside like a parasite. How it can take hold and never let go, even when we’re too tired and want it gone from our lives.
This is a story about how a combination of simple decisions could destroy someone’s life. How it may seem like nothing to the person making it, but could mean everything to the person left helpless in its wake.
This is a story about how, no matter what happens, there’s still a chance to fix things. That there’s still a chance to make things right with the people who need it the most.
It just won’t be easy.
Things after Khan went differently. The admiralty didn’t take kindly to Leonard taking matters into his own hands. Booted from the ‘Fleet and with no hospital or clinic willing to take him on with the new black mark on his record, he’s forced to go back to his hometown, where they have no issue treating him like a pariah. Jim tries to reconnect after the five-year mission, but after so many years out of contact, Leonard is too bitter and angry to let him past the walls he’d built.
Domesticity 101 for Starfleet Officers and Ex-Hitmen | ST: AOS/Polar | Bones/Duncan Vizla
Duncan Vizla, known only as Hälje Overgård to some, thought he had come to terms with the decision to leave Leonard behind on the Enterprise. It was to keep him safe; he’d be fine without him. And he kept telling himself that the longer he was around that man, the softer he’d get.
The Black Kaiser couldn’t afford distractions.
But then someone new moves into the cabin across the lake, a cane in his hand and a familiar scowl to his lips.
A two-part installation following the trials that come with Leonard and Duncan’s relationship. In the first installation, The North, Leonard and Hälje (Duncan’s alias) are forced to try a survive the arctic winters of a planet they crash land on. For reasons, Leonard acquires a permanent injury and they both fall out of contact when they’re saved. In the second installation, Fatally, Leonard and Duncan are thrown back together by chance and try to navigate a relationship that threatens both of their lives.
A Spoken Word | ST: AOS/Crimes of Grindelwald | McKirk
Power beyond comprehension and belief was just sitting inside him, dormant. Leonard was sick of feeling helpless, and he’d do whatever it took to tap into the magic thrumming in his veins.
Even if that meant becoming a monster.
Negotiations always go wrong when the Enterprise is involved. During an attack, both Jim and Leonard discover that there’s magic in them, but the  Ministère des Affaires Magiques de la France find something ‘off’ with Leonard’s magic, driving him straight to the arms of Grindelwald himself.
It Is Not Death To Die | ST: AOS | Gen
Hallowed be the names of those who fall with a sword in their hand and courage in their hearts.
During negotiations (see a common theme?) with a planet housing invaluable minerals for Federation technology, the away team finds themselves in the middle of a civil war. Ordered by the admiralty to offer whatever aid possible, Leonard struggles to find hope in the situation.
Ash & Ruin | ST: AOS/DOOM | Gen
The last thing John remembered was going under for the memory wipe, intent on leaving his life of violence and death behind. Decades later, he’s awake, naked and covered in bloody, glowing runes, with Dr. Samuel Hayden hovering over him.
The demons were back.
Expansion and continuation of my one-shot Ruin. Leonard, now only responding to John after his memories resurface, is forced to work with the UAC one last time to neutralise the demon threat.
An Autopsy of Guilt | ST: AOS | McKirk
Before Bones, nothing made sense. He became his rock; his everything. Marrying him had been the best decision he had ever made.
Then someone had to kill him in cold blood.
And Jim would rather die than let them get away with it.
Leonard is brutally murdered. There are no witnesses and what little evidence there is offers next to no leads. With a desperation that’s almost suffocating, Jim teams up with an investigative team on Starbase VII to find and hunt down the cold-blooded killer while trying to keep himself from drowning in his memories.
Survivor | ST: AOS/Tomb Raider | Gen
Crofts were always strong. They did what was right, and were always the better for it.
They were also notorious trouble magnets, and by God, Leonard should’ve expected that.
Leonard’s complicated past comes back to bite him when the ship is sent to investigate an abandoned colony on a dead planet. While trying to live up to a legacy he never wanted, Leonard hurries to stay a step ahead against both Trinity and Section 31, unravelling the secrets buried underneath the ice and snow.
Dereliction | ST: AOS/MCU | Bones/Hela
There must come a time where the heroes are no longer the good people we want them to be.
Abandoned by his crew and left dying alone on a dead planet, Leonard - in a fit of deperation - turns to ‘divine’ assitance in order to survive, binding himself to the Norse Goddess of Death. When the Enterprise returns a couple of years later, Thor on their heels, they find themselves having to survive the bitter and angry force that now resides on the planet, calling for their blood to water the soil.
Not Your ‘Bones’ | ST: AOS | Gen
The… thing before him looked like Bones. It even sounded like him.
But that’s where the similarities ended. Because when Jim looked into those cold, almost dead eyes, he saw nothing of his friend in their endless depths. Spock’s grip on his arm tightened, as if sensing and sharing his disquietude.
This was not the Bones they knew.
What had he done?
Taking inspiration from films like Ghost in the Shell, Alita: Battle Angel, The Fifth Element, and RoboCop, negotiations on an alien planet go awry when terrorists from a neighbouring world attack. Suffering a fatal blow, the locals perform emergency surgery to save his life. But he’s changed, and Jim isn’t entirely convinced it’s for the better. Meanwhile, an amnesiac Leonard tries desperately to work with a crew he’s told he’s worked with for years, forgotten memories haunting the shadows around him.
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relenafanel · 6 years
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Reading your fic about Bucky writing Steve fanfics makes me wanna start writing my own and actually posting them. I’m pretty nervous do you have any advice?
Just do it.
I know it doesn’t seem like great advice, the same as ‘just rip the bandaid off’ doesn’t always seem like great advice, because it ignores all the nervousness, the hard work, the actual writing and then the posting, but if you don’t just do it, then you’ll get up in your own head and never go through with it.
And that would be a shame.
RelenaFanel’s 101 on Fanfic Writing: ADVICE, not RULES
(keep in mind that my very first fic was posted in 2001 that’s how long it’s been since I started, so I’m going to base this on what I’ve learned in my advanced age. there’s also a tiny bit of these feelings when you start a new fandom)
1. Think of something to write. I love writing AUs, but usually the fandoms I end up writing AUs for are ones that need them. So, you can look at fandom and see what it is that you want to put into it, OR you can acknowledge the many-cake theory and just write what you WANT and love. So Bucky in the Steve Rogers Problem tended to scope out fandom for gaps, and I do that too, but it’s not the only way.
2. Sit down and write it. Maybe scrap it and start something new, maybe not. This step is extremely personal to what will turn out to be your writing habits, so I’m not touching it. It turns out individuals treat an activity like writing as personal, so if you want tips, there are a ton of writing guidelines out there, but don’t take any of them as YOU MUST do this.
3. Get someone to read it over for you to check for plot inconsistencies, typos, etc. I advocating getting a beta reader, but I know a lot of people have trouble with this step and I’m 0% help. So, if not, get someone you know irl to do it. I started with my BFF.
Also: remember that you’re the author and so you have final say over what your beta suggests. This isn’t me telling you to ignore all their help, this is me telling you that you know what your intention was. So if they say ‘no this doesn’t work’ but you think it’s important, consider that maybe they picked out clunky phrasing or something else that would hinder the reader. 
4. NOW YOU’RE READY TO POST YAY. (this is all assuming Ao3, and honestly gets a little tl;dr)
Pick a title. Look, picking a title sucks a lot. If you’ve noticed mine have started looking like clickbait articles, and I’m ok with that. A funny title fits my writing. Honestly, go ahead and use song lyrics or poetry lines, or maybe a reference to the fic. Life is short and you could spend half of it thinking up titles - JUST, don’t use something common. Like, if *I* can recognize it as a line from Hamilton or Mumford and Sons, maybe don’t use that one.  Ppl don’t pay that much attention to the title unless there’s no title there to pay attention to or if they’ve seen 8 fics in the last week with the same title. 
Your life will be happier when you don’t really give a shit WHAT the title is. It took me until like 2015 to reach that point, so... *shrug* Just make sure to call it something.
Write a summary. This also sucks a lot and I haven’t entirely mastered it, but DO NOT admit to anyone that your summary sucks. “summary sucks, just read”? dooonnnn’tttt. If I see that line I’m going to assume the writing in the fic also sucks. Most of the time the summaries aren’t that bad until you get to that line, so just own your summary, no matter how awful you feel it is.
Sometimes you can get away with a line / para from the fic. I try to reserve that for shorter fics that don’t need a lot in terms of summary.
You’re trying to convey what the story is about and make it interesting.  So, go look at some summaries for similar tropes and see what people are doing. Just read the summary, this isn’t the point you’re looking at reading the fics.  If there’s something you like, copy the style of it (but not word for word).
Also PROOFREAD. Summaries with typos are also something that tends to repel discerning readers.
Make the tags. So for tags you want to remember a few things. Only tag the main relationship in the fic as a courtesy. Then start broad and then narrow in on more specific. So start with whether it’s au or canon. Then the tropes in the main theme. Then some of the tropes that aren’t as important but are present. If you mention something once and it has no bearing on the fic as a whole, there’s no need to tag it. Also be aware of what possible triggers are involved, and conversely what things you might tag so people can find it. An example of this is with sex scenes and whether one of them bottoms. I want the people who love that to be able to find it. I am, as a person, a lot less concerned with people who might find that specific example triggering, but they do, so also be aware of that.
also, be aware of your tags as a whole message. If you write a 5k adorable coffeeshop au that has one line where someone inappropriately comes on to a character, don’t dedicate 5 tags to that line because it’s disproportionate to the contents of the fic. This, ofc, depends on the gravity of the thing, but you could honestly just explain the contents in an author’s note instead of using the tags to explain. If it’s a fluff fic, most of your tags should reflect that.
And honestly if you have a fluffy fic with some major grim or dark themes, then maybe it’s not a fluffy fic?
Also, once I’m done with that I sometimes add some funny or clever tags, but if you’re into the funny and clever tags, remember to make sure the important ones are included so Ao3′s tagging system can work to your advantage. 
FINALLY as a specific nitpick of mine that I think is also good advice, don’t admit it’s your first fic or your first fic in a while. It feels like you’re lessening your own culpability, like saying “this is my first fic be gentle” means you’re admitting it might suck so you hope people will be gracious, but in my experience what you’re doing is telling people “be slightly harsher judging this because it might suck” - whether they do it on purpose trying to be helpful or whether it’s subconsciously.  It does the opposite of what you mean for it to do.
So, in general, don’t show weakness. Fake it til you make it. The whole process is scary and sometimes it makes us feel better to say something like “oh god this sucks idek” (yes, including me) but it’s just a knee-jerk reaction to your own anxiety. Feel it in your brain, but resist the urge to put it in the post, because what readers see isn’t your ball of anxiety or ‘what if ppl don’t like this?’ panic, they see an author who doesn’t like their own work, and so why should they?  They see an author who says ‘this sucks’ and since they’re the authority of their own work, they believe it.
So don’t sabotage yourselves my dears.
5. Authors notes and Posting. You can put any details you don’t tag in the authors note. Usually, I also include a link to my tumblr in the end note because I want people to find me. Learn the html here.
Then, hit that post button.
6. Advertise yourself. You’re your biggest advocate. So make a tumblr post (if you have one and didn’t anon me because you don’t) and tag it with the common tumblr tags within the first 5 tags.  This isn’t as important, but it helps. If you do this, make sure to include the link to the tumblr post in your Ao3 notes. You want people who like it to pass it on.
7. Be kind to yourself. As a final point, I don’t know how to approach this without sounding like an egotistical dick, but don’t ever compare your fic to mine and allow my kudos/comments to make you feel bad. As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been writing fanfic since 2001, I adapted early on Ao3 and have had a ton of time to build up subscribers. I’ve been around for a long time, ok, and so you can absolutely strive for the popularity and put the work in for it, but don’t torture yourself over comparing your work to mine.
It’s not a fair comparison.
You know what is a fair comparison? Compare your second fic to your first. Did it do better with kudos/comments? Worse? What’s different between them? Maybe it’s a less popular trope, which you can’t control (unless you write for popularity, in which case make note of it). How can you improve? What do you want to try next?
Play the game against yourself. I promise you, the results are better and you feel a lot less bitter and downtrodden.  It’s ok to emulate other authors you admire as a way to work on your writing and find your niche. Don’t outright steal, but work on copying tone as a writing exercise. Keep in mind the fics that you love and ask yourself what you love about them. Tone? Characters? Dialogue? Description?
Hold the nice comments you get close to your heart. Did someone love your description of a certain scene? Love that you’re good at description and keep writing descriptions until you’re better at them. Until you’re the description master. 
Did someone leave you a not-so-nice comment about your characterization? Ok, first of all, it’s ok if your first thought is ‘screw you’ because yeah! you stand behind your fic! (maybe don’t answer back ‘screw you’ and if you have the ability to stomach it, instead ask if they mind being more specific in order to help you improve - I have never had that skill, I’m a sulker under negative feedback). But also, if you’re going to internalize their criticism anyway, then use it to your advantage and start paying a little more attention to that part when writing.
A lot of this stuff gets so intuitive that you probably won’t be consciously thinking about it.
Most importantly of all: have fun. 
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