Tumgik
#god i hope run into them again bc like. ive seen them at that same kroger before except i complimented their outfit. i want to Talk
lolexjpg · 3 months
Text
dts s2 e6-7
e6 -ALEX EPISODE -every time ive watched this episode and he says his sisters name (zoe) it's startled me. i anticipate it and it surprises me every time -"we are trying to give young people a chance. That's part of the Red Bull philosophy." (Helmut Marko) oh ok. oh OK. OH OK. -i need him biblically. i need him in a way that's concerning for feminism -OK UM so i watched the first half in the morning and the second half after my shift and i was like. im so wiped idk how emotionally i'll even be able to engage -and damn do i truly underestimate my ability to be affected by something i've seen and heard about over and over again. -ok but the parallels between alex's mom talking about being scared as a mom vs daniel's mom talking about the same thing in s1e1 -random cate sighting is crazy i almost forgot how she dated pierre lmao -god i NEED an alex/williams episode next season i miss him on this show soooooo much -its silly but every time i see that clip of anthoine kissing his girlfriend its instant waterworks
e7: -first of all obsessed with seb saying y'all. love him miss him sm -GOD you can just see how charles still has hopes and dreams here he hasnt been crushed and hardened by the ferrari machine yet. what a sweet time for him :/ -sebchal makes me so *gnawing at the bars of my enclosure* -part of me wishes they showed charles' win at monza w/ more charles centric focus? it was such a big deal for him and i think it deserved more. THAT BEING SAID it does set up the sebchal rivalry dynamic well, which is what the documentarians chose to focus on, and for that they did well. -i could say the same for seb's singapore win. it makes sense from a storytelling persepctive to focus on these from the rivalry lense but damn do i know these are iconic wins for both of them and its bittersweet that they don't get their own focus -i'm so confused how charles literally looks straight down the camera lense and says that he was signed with the knowledge that he'd be second to seb, and then gets MAD when they prioritize seb???? like when they prioritize charles seb has ever right to be mad bc that goes against what he was told but charles?????? i know that its bc theyre gonna be super competitive no matter what they're told bc its in their nature but Come Onn -"every world champion has what I term an 'inner bastard', and its the ability to make the tough decision when you have to." i do NOT take will buxton slander on this blog. i love this quote sm and as a baby fan it was big in understanding driver v team politics. it is SUCH an important skill to know when to be a team player and when to be selfish, and the ones who figure it out are the ones who maximize best outcomes. (a good example of this recently imo is carlos in singapore!) -"we'll start by holding hands." when i know its coming and i'm still vibrating gnawing on my enclosure etc etc. brainworms well and alive and fed -GOD rly puts into perspective how charles has been being fucked over by the ferrari engine since Day One -sebastian vettel has the vibes of a restaurant manager who isn't doing the greatest job but he'll never get in trouble because every single waitress is swooning every time he speaks. let me know if this makes sense -with more seb history context: i wonder how much this parallels to the dynamic in rb when daniel joined--and he left the following year. christian talks all about daniel "running from a fight" with max... wonder if thats also, at least in these instances, sebs instinct as a driver in this system. don't take this analysis too serious btw i'm just spitballin
2 notes · View notes
anime-grimmy · 1 year
Text
My thoughts on Pokemon Scarlet and Violet
The game’s been out for almost a week now and Ive blasted through it in like 3 days because my sick ass couldn’t really do much but lay around and suffer anyways. Rn I’m trying to fill my Pokedex and I’ve started a second, way slower playthrough to really enjoy everything the game’s got to offer.
Criticism
So, Pokemon’s first open world game. We’ve all seen the memes, the game has a lot of bugs and especially performance issues. While I have not run into a high amount of glitches, except for some visual stuttering and one shut down, the performance of this game is sometimes atrocious. And this coming from someone who plays Monster Hunter World on an old laptop at 30fps where more than half the textures don’t even load. Sometimes the game dances on the line of death when it loads in too many Pokemon, or god forbid you’re on water because your switch will sound like a chainsaw trying to cut through a stubborn trunk.
And it really IS a shame, because the concepts and ideas of this game are a lot of fun! Like, this game IS fun but it does get bogged down by its issues a lot. Also bcs it does not have dynamic level scaling. Don’t tell me I can go everywhere and do anything, but then throw me in a zone I can’t go through. Don’t get me wrong, the whole “I SHOULD NOT BE HERE YET” experience is very funny and makes you look forward to going back to places, but the layout is just confusing. At the start, Nemona tells you the West Gate is for the first Gym Challenge, Arven tells you the East Gate is for the first Titan. You’d assume either way you go, the challenges in that zone are at least around the same levels but NOPE. You can beat the Gym Leader on the side of the first Titan relatively easily, but try to take on the Team Star base in the same area and be sure to suffer. This weird layout design goes through most of the game. Like, why is the Gym Leader that’s FARTHER North than Grucia weaker than him??? Like, you kinda HAVE to go through his town to get to the other one. It just does NOT make any sense!
 I wanna say that Game Freak just needed more time but we know that even a year more wouldn’t have helped much, because Game Freak just isn’t a studio that’s equipped to do everything they set out to do. They’re short development time makes them build the games on an already wonky base, so even if they did suddenly extend the development by a year, I don’t think much would have changed since they had a faulty game design from the start. It pisses me off so much how Game Freak won’t or can’t reach out for help, they always try to keep everything in their small little team and not let outside hands touch their product (which ofc also is because of all the branding around it), but with their short 3 year development cycle, these guys just aren’t fit for the job to make the games they want to and the people demand. For fuck’s sake, they’re the biggest media franchise on earth, I do not understand what makes them think that one more year of development from the start or an extension of their team would do to fuck that over. So far the people stick with their games because they give us glimmers of hope and lure us in with great Pokemon and characters, but if this continues, they are slowly but surely going to lose their status as top franchise.
Because not making a game with this low res run well on the switch when the Xenoblade’s Chronicles games can be played on the system is unacceptable.
The Good stuff
Now that Ive got the negative stuff out of the way, I can go to stuff I really enjoyed. Because while I do have my fair share of criticism, this game also did a lot I liked.
For one, I am deeply saddened they removed the chugging balls mechanic from Arceus, this just makes catching Pokemon a hassle again. However, I do like the autobattle mechanic. It’s a bit rough because your Pokemon are so slow and once you run for 3 steps they’re back in their Pokeballs. But it’s a nice mechanic to get some off hands exp when traveling from place to place.
Speaking of traversal, I really love Kuraidon. The sound design of this Pokemon is immaculate, I love the scaly boy, he has so much personality and I love how you’re unlocking HMs for him through the Herba Mystica. It’s such a stupid pun but I love it.
As for the other new Pokemon, I’m hit and miss on them. A lot feel weirdly Fakemon. Like, the Flamingo and the Stork don’t feel like real Pokemon to me. Others, however, I really really liked. The Smoliv line is one of my new fav Gras types, Fuecoco has no braincells and I love him for that, and this game did give us some awesome new bug and fairy types. DUDE, A BREAD DOG?! HE’S SO CUTE!!(Spoiler for endgame)
And then the ancient Pokemon. I do prefer the ancient Mons to the futuristic ones tbh, and I like the concept also way more of trying to bring back old, extinct Pokemon to live alongside the present ones than bringing some from the future. Dude, like, the ancient Volcarona is so fucking cool, it’s my fav of the old mons.
(spoiler territory)
But on to the one thing I truly loved about Scarlet and Violet, the characters. Specifically the main three, Nemona, Arven and Penny (and Mr. Clavell/Clive). I never thought I’d like Penny and Arven at the start but holy shit they grew on me. Even Nemona, who I figured I’d like, took a turn in character I hadn’t expected.
Let’s start off with Penny since I have the least to say about her. It was pretty obvious she’s the leader of Team Star from the start, right? The predictability aside, while the Team Star story was nothing to write home about, by the end I did feel attached to this group of misfits, and Penny’s relationship with them is so sweet. Like, when after the game you can join her looking after the team Star bosses to see if they’re doing well in school, it’s so adorable. What I like about Penny though is how surprisingly sassy she is. Freaking hacker Otaku with no chill, I love it.
Then, Nemona. She’s like the epitome of a “nice” rival. I like that from the start it’s established that she is a great trainer, since she already has the Champion title, but the fact she chooses to start from scratch to grow alongside you just screams how much she loves battling and respects a good journey. She wants you to be the best because she sees your potential and she just knows she’ll have the best battle in her life if she helps you out. She’s a mix of a rival/mentor character, who at the same time kind of has a screw loose since battling is all she thinks about. But it all comes from an honest place and the fact she doesn’t act as a cheerleader and actually challenges you in battle when you’re not ready for it, makes her a great rival.
Lastly, Arven. (BIG spoilers) My sweet baby boy, I cannot believe Game Freak dumped so much trauma on you. It was obvious from the start that he had some parental issues, I did not expect it to be year long neglect. I mean, he hasn’t seen the prof in YEARS and has NO memories of playing together with his parent? And apparently his other parent walked out on them the MOMENT he was born??? Then he gets a dying dog, which thankfully got better (it did make me teary eyed by the end ngl) but then the one who’s actually dead is the PROFESSOR???? I hate how quickly he got over the fact, the dude just found out his parent who he hasn’t seen in years is fucking DEAD and has been for YEARS. I mean, I’m happy this makes him find new ambition and a new path in life but fuck me, let the boy process this for a bit.
But yeah, Arven’s story was my fav (im very weak for dogs ok.) Though, all coming together in the end and you running alongside your friends down the Great Crater was so damn cute istg. And the dialogue between them, getting to know each other, is so damn good. You see some different sides of them, showing interest in someone else but you, and it gives them some more dimension, I love it.
Now if Game Freak just FINALLY added voice acting, at least for the damn CUTSCENES, I’d be the happiest. Like dude, that last emotional cutscene really needed some raw emotional voice deliveries.
But yeah, all in all, Scarlet and Violet has a ton of fucking problems, but it also has a lot of good sides to it. Now if Game Freak just took it’s fucking time and accepted some help, they truly could make a great game from the get go.
12 notes · View notes
ruzek-halstead · 3 years
Text
when did i first know? (i always knew)
pairing: jay halstead x hailey upton
prompt: "relax, getting stabbed doesn't even hurt that bad. it's kinda like getting punched really hard.” - "when did you get stabbed?"
masterlist
when hailey rushes through the emergency doors, her heart is pounding wildly in her chest. she wasn't given much information, just a quick call from adam saying jay was being taken to the hospital. then hailey heard adam barking something at the paramedics and he hung up without waiting for hailey to say anything. she honestly could've murdered him in that moment. 
hailey spots will exiting one of the medical bays and tries to slow her pace as she crosses the emergency room to meet him. will catches her eyes and sighs, a grin falling to his lips. "he's fine," he says immediately to ease her worries. hailey's shoulders fall. "you can see him, it's just this room right here. he'll probably be discharged later today." "thanks will," hailey says, shooting him a grateful smile. he rubs her shoulder before walking off. hailey slips behind the glass doors, spotting jay sitting up in his hospital bed. adam is standing on the opposite end of the room, holding a trashcan, as jay concentrates on throwing his empty jello cup into the trashcan. hailey blinks. "what the hell am i looking at?" "oh, hey hails!" adam greets, glancing back at jay as he makes the shot. he lets out a loud, rowdy cheer. "knew you could do it, bro." hailey is still confused as hell. jay looks, for all intents and purposes, absolutely fine. he has an iv attached to his hand, the rest of the necessary wires to attach to the machines, but hailey doesn't spot any injuries - no bandages, no blood, no nothing. "hey babe," jay greets, shooting her a toothy grin. adam checks his phone quickly, frowning. "i have to go back in," he says, stopping by jay's bed to touch knuckles with him. "i have a ton of paperwork to do now, because of you." jay sends him a lazy grin. "better you than me." "yeah, yeah," adam grumbles, turning to leave. "see you hails!" he says as he passes her by. hailey grabs his elbow and leans in quick to whisper in a deadly calm tone, "i swear to god if you ever hang up on me after saying something like that again, i'll shave your beard off in your sleep." adam lets out a low gasp, but his lips curl into a wolfish smirk. "god, why did i ever let you go?" he drawls in a sarcastic lilt. "shut up," hailey mutters and literally pushes him out the door, closing it behind him. now it's just her and jay, and she still has no idea how the hell he injured himself. "what the hell happened?" hailey asks in confusion, propping herself in a chair at his side. jay automatically reaches for her, pulling her to sit on the bed with him instead. "you look... fine?" jay chuckles, eyes mischievous, as if he's hiding something. "and i am fine. adam didn't have to call an ambulance and will should really let me out now." at a closer vantage point, hailey sees the faint blooming of a bruise along jay's jaw and her hand presses against it. jay winces. "yeah, you're totally fine." but really, hailey shouldn't be surprised he's itching to get out of the hospital. she, more than anyone knows how much he hates them, and god knows she hates when jay's in them even more. and also, she still doesn't understand why they would call an ambulance if it was a scuffle that left him with a bruised jaw. determinately, hailey searches his body for other injuries, because there is absolutely no way this is it. jay could be bleeding out and he'd still refuse a hospital. hailey immediately spots his wince as she presses near his ribs. "i might have a few bruised ribs," he offers weakly, attempting a charming smile. hailey rolls her eyes. "good god jay, why do you always go for the big ones?" "uh - have you seen my muscles?" hailey rolls her eyes again. "relax, the ribs didn't even hurt that bad - it was only a few punches," he explains, though hailey really doesn't want to hear about her boyfriend getting his ass handed to him (she'll mention it to him when he's all healed so it can annoy the hell out of him). "honestly, it felt about the same as getting stabbed." hailey pauses, the fingers that are running softly through his hair stop their trepidations. her blue eyes snap to his emerald ones, and she's positive her left eye is twitching. "when the hell did you get stabbed?" jay's mouth drops to an 'o', having the decency to look the least bit apologetic. "did i forget to mention that?" he replies, flipping the hospital blanket off his right thigh where a thick bandage has been fastened. "oh my god," hailey mumbles, suddenly feeling the urge to laugh. so, she does. "you're impossible." "adam used the word invincible, which i prefer," jay sasses, lips shifting into a smirk. hailey wants to smack it off his face; he really shouldn't be excited about all the injuries he's sustained. hailey feels the need to knock him down a peg; this could have ended horribly and he needs to be a little more aware of that. "i hope you two had your body cams on," she starts, earning a curious look from jay, "because i'm sure they'll show this at the academy in what not to do." jay immediately frowns. "you can't talk. you don't have nearly as many battle scars as i do." "yeah," she agrees softly, "thankfully." jay's eyes instantly soften as well, gaze trained on the anxious way she's biting her lip. "yeah, thankfully," he agrees, grabbing her hand in his and stroking it with his thumb. "let's keep it that way, yeah?" "are you going to do the same?" she asks in retaliation, eyebrow raised. a sheepish smile makes it way to his lips. "i'm trying, i swear. today was just weird. i'm telling you, this guy was massive and he was definitely high on something." "okay," hailey concedes. jay's hand crawls up to cup her cheek, pulling her closer. he's about to press his lips to hers when hailey snaps back, finger pointed up in anger. "also, if adam ever calls to tell me you're being taken to the hospital and then hangs up, i'm murdering both of you, okay?" jay chuckles, pulling her back nice and close. "yeah, got it. can i kiss you now?" "well, i guess. if it'll make you feel better."
x
p.s. title from black and white by niall horan bc i fucking love that song and the lyrics are the damn sweetest. okkkk hope you enjoyed!!!
tagging a few lovelies: @haileyyanneupton @detective-buttercup @lissethsrojas @justanotheronechicagofan
90 notes · View notes
katahnisharma · 4 years
Text
gone (4) | t.h.
Summary: tom is back from shooting cherry, but he’s not okay.
Warnings: this started as my entry to the lovely b’s writing challenge @worldoftom, but you guys were so amazing and wanted a second part. this is a very emotional chapter and there are mentions of anxiety, depression, and overall intense emotions so please be careful loveys ♡
A/N: hey guys it’s been a while but life has been really really difficult so i'm sorry for the wait! i'm not entirely sure if anyone still cares about this series so here’s hoping :) for this chapter i listened to light of love by florence + the machine and all good things come to an end by the og queen nelly furtado lol. also Tumblr apparently won’t let me link certain things so if you’re looking for my masterlist or playlist it’s in my bio ♡
IF YOU’RE STILL INTERESTED IN BEING ON MY TAGLIST PLEASE FILL OUT THE NEW FORM IN MY BIO BC I WILL BE REVAMPING IT!
Tumblr media
gif by @hllands
“Hey, did I leave my notebook in the living room?” You asked, letting your tea bag soak in the mug Tom always saved for you. It was an unspoken rule, that dark blue cup with the constellations on it from his mother was yours only. You mentioned how beautiful it was once, and Tom remembered.
It went on the list with the others.
“You mean the one with the polaroid on the cover? No, it’s not in here.” Tom called back, scrolling through Netflix to find a movie for the both of you. He’d just come back from the junket for Spies in Disguise, and he immediately called his best friend over to spend the day with him.
Well, it was supposed to be more than just another day.
Because today he was going to tell you he loved you.
“Hmm, maybe I left it in my bag upstairs. I’ll get it when I’m done with the tea.” You said, setting your mug down on the counter. It looked like it needed sugar, so you rootled around for the little jar Tom kept in one of his cabinets.
“Don’t worry, I’ll go get it!” Tom said from the couch, his nerves beginning to make him jittery. He thought that while you were in the kitchen, picking a movie would help him calm down. But he couldn’t focus on any of the descriptions, and Tom could feel his heart beat faster and faster.
He needed to get up for a few minutes.
“Are you sure? Do you want me to pick the movie then?” You teased, knowing very well Tom hadn’t found a movie yet. It was a bit of a running gag, him never being able to pick a movie. You would bite your lip to stop from laughing when he eventually got frustrated and handed you the remote.
And even in his nervous state, Tom still grinned because of you.
“Yeah, yeah, like you’re any better. We’ve seen The Avengers twice!” He shot back, a smirk on his lips when he heard you scoff in the kitchen. Apart from your smile, making you jokingly annoyed was Tom’s favorite thing. He liked how cute you were when he teased you.
“Shut up and get my notebook, Tommy!” You laughed, and Tom felt his cheeks warm at the sound.
God you were so fucking perfect.
When Harrison woke up, he almost forgot where he was. But then his vision cleared and there you were, lying in the hospital bed. Harrison’s heart clenched at the sight, remembering the events of last night that landed you here with an IV in your arm. He sat up and stretched, the old wooden chair squeaking against the floor.
The sound was what made you stir, your mind waking up from the dream.
“Harrison?” You whispered, your eyes adjusting to the dim lights in the room. The hospital bed you’d fallen asleep in the night before seemed to glow next to you, but you realized it was just an IV hooked up in your arm. Harrison smiled softly, getting up and coming to stand by your side.
“Hey, you were out like a light.” He said, handing you the glass of water a nurse had brought. You gratefully brought it to your lips, feeling a little dehydrated from whatever fluids were in the IV bag. Harrison gave your free hand a squeeze before crossing to the windows, playing with the blinds to let some sun in.
“How long have you been here?” You asked, playing with the sheets mindlessly. Harrison thought about lying, telling you he’d only arrived a few minutes ago. Because he knew you’d feel bad about it, but you could always tell when he lied.
“Since last night. I stayed here, didn’t want you to be alone.” Harrison replied, and you frowned almost immediately. You felt bad enough that he’d driven you to the hospital on his day off, but knowing that he’d also spent the night sleeping in an uncomfortable, crappy chair didn’t help with the guilt.
“And before you say ‘you shouldn’t have’, just remember you would have done the same for me. So stop beating yourself up about it.” He said, going back to his chair. You winced when it made the same creaking sound, like it was about to break. Harrison noticed, and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing.
“But this chair was really unbearable.” He chuckled, and you finally smiled again.
“Shut up, you idiot.” You giggled, chucking a pillow at Harrison right as the nurse peeked in. You felt your face burn as she smiled at the two of you, Harrison picking up the pillow sheepishly and biting back a laugh.
“Glad to see the patient is feeling better. Can I get you anything, love?” She asked kindly, picking up the now empty class beside you. You smiled at her, shaking your head. You really just wanted to be discharged so you could leave, hospitals always made you nervous. The smell of disinfectant and the general sense of uncertainty were not your favorite sense overloads.
“No, but thank you for everything. Do you know if I’ll be able to leave today?” You asked, and the nurse nodded her head.
“You should be all set to be discharged in an hour. The doctor will check in on you in thirty minutes and then you’re all free to go.” She said, taking the pillow from an embarassed Harrison. You giggled a little when she fluffed the pillow, and returned it to your bed.
“Great, thank you again!” She gave you one last smile before leaving the room, and Harrison breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank god, I’m really hungry.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For Harry, last night would probably be one of the worst and strangest of his life.
After Tom broke down and sobbed into his shirt for two hours straight, he became so frenetic that Harry was afraid he would end up accidentally hurting himself. Tom tried to pack a suitcase to go after you, but he almost slipped in the shower and was so disoriented that he ran into the bedroom wall. Then he tried to cook something on the stove for Harry, but left the fire on while he got distracted trying to find your favorite cereal. Tom wasn’t completely all there, and it was pretty obvious to Harry that he was having some sort of episode.
So once Tom was focused enough to eat the banana his brother opened for him, Harry called his mother.
“Mom, I need you to tell me the name of that anxiety medicine. The one that sometimes works as a sedative.” Harry cast a glance at Tom on the couch, watching him slowly chew the banana with glossy eyes. He had been silently crying at odd times this morning, and it was definitely making Harry nervous.
“Why? Harry, what’s happened?” Nikki immediately sounded worried, running over to the medicine cabinet. She kept the anxiety medicine mainly for Harry, who used to have pretty severe bouts himself. The episodes became few and far between, until they stopped altogether.
But now Nicki was concerned Harry was having them again.
“It’s not for me, Mum. It’s for Tom. I think he’s having some sort of breakdown, and I’m afraid he might accidentally do something stupid and hurt himself.” Harry said, looking over his shoulder to see Tom staring at the banana, almost lifelessly.
“For Tom? Harry, please tell me what’s going on.” Nikki said, clutching the bottle in her hand nervously.  
“I think Tom and Y/N might be over.” Harry said, and the words had more weight than he thought they would. Like it was finally a possible reality, one where you and Tom weren’t together anymore.
“Okay, I’m on my way.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Can you get in the car alright? Need any help?” Harrison asked, hovering over you as the two of you walked to the hospital parking lot. You rolled your eyes, smiling at his protective behavior. He’d been like this during your dischargement too, and it was sweet but definitely unnecessary.
“Haz, I told you. I’m perfectly fine, I swear. It really doesn’t hurt that much, and I can absolutely get into the car on my own.” You said, patting his shoulder reassuringly. Harrison sighed, biting his lip a little worriedly.
“Okay, okay, just making sure. I just don’t want you to aggravate the injury or anything. At least not until we get you home and set up.” He replied, and you couldn’t help it. You leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, watching Harrison’s mouth immediately drop open in shock.
“Hey! What was that for?”
“To thank you for being the world’s greatest div. I love you, idiot.” You said, laughing when Harrison slung an arm around your shoulder. He rolled his eyes at you, smiling playfully.
“You know I love you too, but you really didn’t need to give me that weirdass kiss.” Harrison chuckled, immediately ducking into the car before you decided to throw your purse at him. Scoffing, you got into the passenger seat and punched him in the arm.
“Ow! That hurt!”
“I’ll have you know my kisses are wonderful!” You giggled, clapping a hand over your mouth when Harrison started to fake cry and clutch his arm.
“If I agree, will you leave me alone?” Harrison laughed, starting the car and reversing out of the parking lot. You smiled wickedly, reaching up to ruffle his precious hair. Harrison recoiled instantly, whining at your little stunt.
“I take it back, I actually hate you.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Where is he?” Nikki asked, rushing into the living room. Harry jumped up and led her to the bedroom, where Tom was curled up in a ball. Under the covers, he was crying softly and clutching what looked like a sweater. It seemed too small to be his, and Harry immediately realized it was your favorite sweater. The one Tom loved on you because it was what you were wearing when both of you met for the first time.
“Tom? Love, look at me please.” Nikki whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked over at Harry and mimed a glass of water, which he left to get from the kitchen. Once they were alone, Nikki gently pulled the covers back. Tom lay there, tears streaming down his face and the front of your sweater soaked.
“She’s gone...” Tom whimpered, trying to pull the covers back over his head. He was completely spent, the possibility that you were really gone hitting him like a train. Tom had pictured the rest of his life with you, and now nothing seemed worthwhile anymore if you weren’t there beside him.
“Y/N? Tell me what happened, Tom.” Nikki said, running a gentle hand through his hair. Tom relaxed under her touch, reminded of all the times in his childhood that he lay in bed upset. Breakups, rejections, failures, his mother had seen them all. And she'd always been there for him.
“We got into a fight...a big fight….and I threw my phone….”
“At her? Tom, how could you do that?” Nikki gasped softly, and Tom’s eyes widened. He found the strength to sit up, looking his mother right in the eyes.
“No...no! I would never hurt her! I threw it at the wall and I locked myself in the bathroom. But….when I came out….she was gone and there was b-blood on the f-floor and...I think-I think I-” Tom couldn’t get the rest of his words out, and Nikki knew enough to envelop her son in a hug.
“It’s okay...it’s okay, Tom.” She sighed, holding her eldest son close. The whole thing was confusing, but if Nikki knew anything about your relationship with Tom it was that it had been the best one he’d ever had. You were kind, intelligent, and strong, exactly what she had always wanted Tom to have in a partner. But hearing Tom cry and work himself up meant she knew what she needed to say. Tom had to stop living in his head.
“Tom? I want you to listen to me, it’ll be okay.”
“But….she’s gone and I hurt her….I can’t ever forgive myself…” Tom sobbed, but Nikki was adamant she would speak and get through to him.
“Look, the past is the past, it’s not in our hands.  You have the chance to ask for her forgiveness, and explain what you’re feeling right now. Don’t let your past actions dictate the future, love. That would be a mistake, because I know Y/N. She loves you and she wants to be there for you. She’ll understand what you’re going through because she cares, that’s what a real partner does. They want the best for you because it’s you. You need to forgive yourself so that she can help you heal.”
“But what if she doesn’t w-want me anymore? I know I scared her….I never wanted to do that b-but she’s been hurt and left because of me….I’m afraid Y/N won’t love me anymore!” Tom cried, his body shaking a little. Nikki rubbed his back and took the water glass from Harry, who’d reappeared in the room.
“Darling, you have to try. You have to fight for the love you want. You don’t think your father and I have gotten angry with each other? We fight and that’s normal, but at the end of it all we come back to each other. I put my feelings aside and listen to him, and he does the same. That’s how it works, we love each other so much that I’ll forgive him and he’ll forgive me.”
Nikki took Harry’s hand and held it, and Tom was finally still. There was no more crying, no more shaking. It was just a moment frozen in time, the three of them together in a little room. Harry hugged Tom and Nikki kissed his forehead, and for the first time in 36 hours Tom wasn’t afraid anymore. The fight wasn’t plaguing him anymore, and neither was the aftertaste of filming that had been slowly poisoning his mind. All he could see was you, like a vision before him wiping his tears away. With that same smile that he had fallen in love with so easily, because it was purely yours.
And that was enough for Tom to be at peace with himself.
“Thank you.” Tom whispered, and Nikki was able to smile again. Harry ruffled his hair, making Tom punch him softly in the arm. He reached for the water glass and the pills in Nikki’s hand, knowing that he needed to take them.
“Take these two and it’ll help a little with the anxiety. It’ll also make you a little drowsy, but it might be good to sleep it all off properly. I’ll stay here with Harry until you wake up, okay?” Nikki said, and Tom let him expend enough energy to nod and smile.
“Just...just please make sure Y/N is okay? Make sure that nothing’s wrong?” Tom said, and Nikki squeezed his right hand. Harry had his left.
“Always. Now get some real sleep, you’re going to need it...”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Can we please listen to something other than your terrible daily mix?” You laughed, Harrison clutching his chest to feign offence. He reluctantly handed you the aux cord and you smiled, knowing exactly what you wanted to play. Taking a couple seconds to sift through your own playlists, you found the song you were looking for and pressed play. Harrison smirked at your choice, rolling his eyes at the songs you played over and over again. He attempted to steal the aux back from you, but you dodged him quickly.
“Hey, focus mister! I’m not about to get into an accident right out of the hospital!” You said, giggling as he started to belt out the lyrics and dance. He laughed, rolling his eyes as he focused on the road again.
“I’m a great driver! I’m just trying to save myself from your shit music taste.” He said with a smirk and now it was your turn to roll your eyes. Harrison wasn’t a bad driver, but he definitely wasn’t a great one. The first time you had gotten into the car with him had been to get groceries and it was a disaster. He forgot to turn around before reversing and nearly hit a little old lady with her cart, and almost got hit merging onto the highway. After that, you were careful to look out for him even if it meant you became a backseat driver.
“Sure, Haz. Whatever you want to believe. Just please get us home in one piece!” You laughed, leaning your head back and letting the sunlight warm your face. If not for the events of the previous day, you would have basked in the glory of such a beautiful day.
But your mind turned to Tom, as it always seemed to.
“Hey, is my bag in the back?” You asked, suddenly desperate to check its contents. Harrison turned down the music, furrowing his eyebrows at your change in mood. You turned to look at him, a slight fear in your eyes. Harrison nodded, gesturing to the backseat.
“Yeah, it’s there. Why? What’s wrong?”
“I just...I just need to make sure something is in there…” You trailed off, swiveling in your seat to grab at your handbag. Harrison watched from the corner of his eye as you set it on your lap, rootling through it quickly.
“Whoa, whoa. What are you looking for?” Harrison asked, a little concerned by how frantic you seemed to be. With a sigh of relief, you feel your hands grasp what you’re looking for and you pull it out slowly. Harrison’s eyes automatically soften, seeing your eyes water with your most prized possession in your hand.
“Is that the notebook Tom bought you? The one he bought you when he found out you wanted to be a writer?”
“Y-yeah...it is. I just wanted to make sure it was still there, you know? That’s dumb, isn’t it? I mean...he probably doesn’t even want to be with me a-anymore. So...so why am I….why am I holding on like this?” You felt the dam break finally, the tears streaming down your face. Harrison bit his lip, pulling the car over and unbuckling his seatbelt.
“Hey...hey...look at me.” Your tears were staining the cover, the little drops of water creating little streams on the surface. It felt like someone had pulled the rug from underneath you, and that you’d discovered there was no floor. What would you do without Tom? You loved him more than anything, but you were no fool. His anger couldn’t have come from out of the blue, it was something repressed that Tom had been feeling for a long time. Without warning, your insecurities began to mount.
Maybe he was bored of you.
Maybe you annoyed him.
Maybe he’d found someone else.
Maybe you weren’t good enough and he’d realized it.
And then the worst of them all.
Maybe the rest of the world was right.
“I’m losing him.” You whispered, and Harrison’s heart clenched at your words. He knew you were always insecure about dating Tom, but you’d never vocalized anything like this before.
“No, no you’re…”
“I’m not an idiot, Haz! I’ve seen the signs! H-he’s done with me….I’m just d-delaying the inevitable. I should have….I should have known I wasn’t good enough for him. He’s him and I’m j-just me, who the hell was I fooling? E-even the fans knew it!”
“Y/N...come on...that’s not-”
“He hasn’t wanted to spend any real time with me since he came back from Cherry. It’s like I don’t even exist to him, I’m invisible until he has to talk to me. I’ve tried five times to get him to have dinner with me and he rejected me every time, Haz. All I’ve heard for two months is ‘I’m going out with the boys, sorry’ or ‘Just going to sleep, don’t feel like eating’. And I tried to understand, I really did. It must have been so hard shooting a movie like that, it would be emotionally draining for anyone. Hell, even the book is emotionally draining-”
“I don’t think...”
“Let me finish, please? Haz, I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired, I’m so tired. I can’t fight for this relationship anymore when I’m not even sure if he wants it. He pushes me away all the time and it hurts me to see him like that. Tom isn’t happy, and I think it’s because of me. So I won’t hold him back anymore, I’ll just quietly disappear. No drama, no fighting, nothing. I can’t bear knowing I’m the reason he’s unhappy, it would kill me to think that.”
You broke again, the tears burning your eyes as you clutched the notebook tighter to your chest. It brought you a little comfort, knowing what you would have to do next. You needed to leave Tom, to let him live his life and be happy. You clearly couldn’t make him happy anymore and though that was something you’d struggled to accept in the last few hours, it was the right thing to do. You had no delusions about the way you looked, you always felt rather plain and boring compared to the beautiful women Tom was used to being around. He would be better off with someone else, someone as amazing as him.
Someone who isn’t you.
Harrison’s throat went dry as you slowly raised a hand to wipe at your tears, your eyes glossing over as you stared lifelessly out the window. He had a horrible feeling that you were serious about what you had just said, and he wasn’t sure how all this had happened. How could he have let you feel like this?
How could they not have noticed?
“Please, please don’t say-”
“Harrison, I have to. I can’t do this anymore.” You whispered, and Harrison stopped mid sentence. You never called him by his full name, it was always just Haz. He squeezed your hand as you cried, sobs wracking your body that made him cry too. You barely got the words out, but Harrison knew them before you said it.
“I have to leave because I love him.”
IF YOU’RE STILL INTERESTED IN BEING ON MY TAGLIST PLEASE FILL OUT THE NEW FORM IN MY BIO BC I WILL BE REVAMPING IT!
TAGLIST (PLEASE ONLY SEND AN ASK OR FILL OUT MY FORM!!): @tommyparkerr @grandmascottlang @toms-order @domestic-void @tomhollandsgirlfriend @cutiehollands @peeterparkr @jupiterparker @inlovewithmob-tom @veronicas-littleworld @da5haexowin @sergeantbxrnxs @hazsterfield @itsholyholland @underoosstark @stormyholland @let-me-luve-you @musicgirl234 @its-livelovelife @steve-thotgers @tiny-friggin-human @lavcnderparker @lucille-lovely @yeahbutmarvel @lokiislowkeyhot @spideymood @yoharryyouawizard @tomhollanders2013 @starlightseoksmain @jnej @spiderman-n @positiveparker @winterssoldierrs @heycreehere @galaxy-parker @sdrecsfics @doimakeitthroughthenight @wronglanemendes @brokensimpson @spnsoap @ninetypoundsofasthma @quitetommy @voltronshepard @marvelismylifffe @iluvmesomemarvelndc @annathesillyfriend @tiredfeels @scarlet-spiderr @hedwigthelegend @renesniajazza @bibliophile-grasshopp @tomhollandswhore @yeeterbenjaminparker @juliabuenooo @paradoxparker @pokeloisfk @machomango13 @nobledoritoman @cosmicdaya @hey-its-grey @toms-gf @cutesparker @whypeterparkerwhy @blissfulparker @xxtomxo @pastelpeter @hilllsnholland @hopespym @peterstrainingwheels @stuckonspidey @jacobsbatalon @steveroguhrs @spideypeach @spxderbarnes @stealth-spiderr @uglypastels @darlingtholland @spideyflicker @thollandss @out-of-my-way-extras @trustfundparker @clockblobber @asmilinghopelessromantic @zaynjawy @sholla4-314 @lemondropirwin @angelbabymed @in-the-corner-coffee-please @peterbparkcr @william-stanley @greenarrowhead @squishyhyunjin @starz-23 @spoopy-spooderman @whatevsholland @aestheticstom @tomzfrog @bebegomie @embrace-themagic @joshuaparkers @dancingoncrackedhearts @mlt2000 @spidergirl007 @headsup-itsmostlypeter @sspideytom @kisses-holland @hardestbattles-strongestsoldiers @infamousmany @theefactorygirl @aelinashryvver @sarah-moss2015 @honeybucks @fandomdarlings @yourwonderbelle @rexorangecouny @deni-gonzalez @mylifeasafangirlforever @random-writer06 @whitewolfandthefox @sweetlyth @notethereal @play-morezeppelin @fandoms-stuff @petesrparker @yavinmoon @sweet-baby-cakes @noswagswag @peteunderoos @jackiehollanderr @yadekms @practicallylivesonline @i-tried21 @stasye @unorganizedasf @tomshufflepuff @mejustbeingme @fanboy-tom @mimaligrl @theimpossiblehologramtree @diamonddia-mond @qrangr @parkeroffline @peterpumpkinparker @rosieredcheeks @delicately-important-trash @zabdisamor @peterbrokenparker @the-lost-fairy-tale @everestluke @gigilame @youllbemineandillbeyours @cherryblossomcharlotte @paintingbellarke @teawithbucky @tomhaz @multi-worlds @clara-licht @ppkrtingle @laurxn-robinson @lulueliott @lostinspidey @starlightparker @ddaeing @sincerelymlg @officiallygeek @maybemona @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @lowkey-holland @particularsof @saturn-aka-six @elysianparker @fangirlingisajob @hypnotized-so-mesmerized @deathofthrones @th0ttie4tommy @orowit @lauras-collection @itseightbeats @thomasholyholland @h-arrystyles @softboyparkerr @darlingxholland @marshyrebelcloud @kristinathecarat @florencxs @definitely-not-black-cat @spdys @wazzupmrstark @farfromhaz @plushparker @princepeteys @afterglowparker @softspiderling @geeksareunique @sltwins @belladonichaze39 @emmmybear @melrosaeparker @crazymexicanfangirl @beequeen8020 @escapetheshackles @siriuslyslyslytherin @eilishparker @violet-lilyy @w-jhxk-yj @doctor-spence-reidd @spacebitch2 @folkoftheair @himynameishooman @temptingholland @miraclesoflove @marvelobsessedteenager @hollandosterfieldfanfic @biebsmylife95 @hannihannelora @getmebieber @angiexyoung @markleehee
Gone Taglist: @tshdarling @hestoosirius @ana-cxst @aeciru @play-morezeppelin @bobo-bush @itsjusttor  @iam-thevillain-of-thisstory @autty0314 @name-me-regret @prfctdayas @youngblood199456 @fab-notfat @technolilly @hollandinq @theetherealbloom @littlebookbengal @spideyyeet @midnightbarnes @3prettyinpink3 @lulueliott24 @spxder-bxcky @spiderbibby @ietss @winterseba @sehunights @blahhhhhhhaaa @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven @sixwyrxstuff @noelleivy @madeinthemidnightmemories @tryn25 @iriaaarb @marvelobsessedteenager @eleanornicolelocke @breakingnasa @iwishitwasthe-80s @wesleypiper @ihopethatwemeetinanotherlife @1dstark-blog @totesem @itstomhollands @stxfxniexreads @astrobxbeee @magicianraging @reveluvspecial @be-cautious-around-bri @audreylovesashton706 @whereverigoimightstay @natasha-stark-parker @jacksnoodlez99 @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @stabbyhat @blackeighteen @itisjustpaula @caitsymichelle13 @herondalism @ameliathackray @pluckypete @rachaeldonnaspiteri1 @farfromjustordinary @cosmicmndes @farfromhoran @giveme-gaskarth @likeit-or-leaveit @captured-firelight @spnsquirrel @some-random-stranger-007 @silver-bubbles @thevelvetseries @screeching-student-unknown @melrosaeparker 
Moots Tag -let me know if you want me to take you off :)- @angelic-holland @fairytaleparker @honeymoonparker @screamholland @hollandstom @calmholland @spiesindisguise @neverlandparker @nnatasha @parkerpuff @the-claire-bitch-project @angelhaz11 @farfromhaz @blushypetey @hazinhoodies @spiderrpcrker @yeahimcrying @definitely-not-black-cat​ @quackeroos @ts-holland @t-holland2080 
674 notes · View notes
eberles · 4 years
Text
i hate u, i love u
Rafe Cameron
Tumblr media
(gif by @toesure :)
Request: A Rafe fic based on the song “I hate u, I love you” by gnash (ft Olivia O’Brien) PLEASE MAJOR RAFE VIBES 🥺💖 @fav-imagines
A/N: I wanted to cry writing this lol idk why but it hit me right in the feels!! it’s kind of all over the place, if anyone is confused by, don’t worry bc i am too!!!! lol anyways enjoy!! (this is probably the first thing ive ever written that goes with rafe’s character) bold = lyrics, italics = flashbacks
Warnings: angst, mentions of drugs, cheating, lying, toxic relationship, swearing
Tumblr media
feelin used, but im still missin you and i cant see the end of it just wanna feel your kiss against my lips and now all this time is passing by, but i still cant seem to tell you why it hurts me every time i see you, realize how much i need you
I’ve spent months sitting in my room staring at the ceiling, and at the walls. I did a full Bella Swan from New Moon and let 3 months go by without being present for any of them. I didn’t care honestly...Even after spending all that time alone, i’m not still not healed from the heartache that was caused by him. I still miss him, his scent, his kisses, his clothes, everything. Rafe.
I went out once and he was the last person I wanted or planned to see, but of course, he was the only person I actually saw. Sure, there were other people around, but none of them mattered. Everyone else felt greyed out except for him. He was the only light I could see in those short moments. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, my breath hitched in my throat and it felt like there was no air left to breathe.
After months it still hurts to see him again. It hurts because I realized I still need him even after everything. I hate him. So why do I love him? The feeling of him being the only one I want, the one nobody could ever replace...it’s overwhelming and I can’t seem to shake it. But me? He replaced. It looked like it was easy from my point of view. He needed her, wanted her, and i’m not her.
i miss you when i can’t sleep or right after coffee or right when i can’t eat, i miss you in my front seat, still got sand in my sweaters from nights we don’t remember. do you miss me like i miss you? fucked around and got attached to you.
My head was consumed on thoughts of you. It was constant. Like the leaky faucet in the bathroom or the loose floorboard. Always running, always broken. I miss you. Maybe you’ll come around, but for now...I wish you were here instead. When it’s late and I can’t sleep, I think about you. When it’s early and I can’t eat, I think about you.
“Where are we going?” you giggled excitedly, grabbing my hand from across the console in my truck.
“Shh, I told you it’s a surprise baby, we’re almost there anyways.” I laughed at her giggling like a kid, she had so much excitement in her eyes. She was always ready for anything, even if it was 2 in the morning and I love that about her. I love everything about her.
“Ugh fine!” she groaned dramatically and rolled her eyes in a full circle looking up at the ceiling. “Why are we at the beach?” you didn’t even give me enough time to answer before jumping out of the truck and running towards the sand laughing the entire way to the water. Once I caught up with you, I grabbed your hands and pulled you close into my chest, kissing your forehead. When we broke apart I laid down a few blankets on the sand, noticing you were cold, I also gave you my sweater.
We stared at the stars and talked about anything and everything for hours. It felt magical. We stayed until the sun came up, watching the sunset before driving back to my house for some much needed rest.
Walking over to my closet, curious to know if that same sweater ended up back in my closet after that night. I reached in, digging around not finding anything and decided to look in my dresser instead. Of course, it was folded neatly in the drawer you used to call yours. Grabbing and shaking it out I noticed the light pieces of sand that fell from it. I brought it in to my nose wondering if it still smelt like your perfume. It did. I’m always tired lately, but never of you. Do you miss me too?
if i pulled a you on you, you wouldn’t like that shit, i put this reel out, but you wouldn’t bite that shit. i type a text then i never mind that shit, i got these feelings, but you never mind that shit. you’re still in love with me but your friends don’t know.
To Y/N: i wanna talk, i think...maybe i miss y-
*delete*
To Rafe: I miss you so much, it hurt someti-
*delete*
“Y/N...what’s going on? You’re off in never never land! Do you still miss him?” Kiara asked, gently shaking my knee to gain my attention back to the group. I looked at her and around at the rest of the pogues and put a smile on my face, shaking my head.
“Of course not, it’s been months! I’m so over him, guys. Besides even if I did, it wouldn’t matter.” I tried so hard to sound confident. I hope they bought it. Of fucking course, I miss Rafe. I’m still in love with him for gods sake. I hate that I want him.
✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿
Sure, i’ve moved on, but I think about y/n, just about everyday. I guess for me, moving on is finding someone new, but not actually wanting anyone new. I just couldn’t bare to be alone anymore with my thoughts. I deserve better than that, personally.
“Anyways Topper, if y/n wanted me still, she would say so right?” I looked at Topper, silently hoping he would lie to me, just tell me what I want to hear, man. “If I were her, I would’ve never let me go. She’s missing out.”
“Hell yea, dude! That’s the right attitude.” Topper said, jumping up to high five me. Of course, that was the statement he was on board with. I hate that I want you.
✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿
I haven’t been to a party in months, Kiara and Sarah thought that this would be the most fitting post-break up activity for me. Maybe meet a new guy or something. I tuned out when they were telling me about it and just agreed. What I neglected to listen to, was that it was a kook party. So now, i’m at a party alone, since my friends ditched me to dance with each other. And on top of that, I watch him watch her, like she’s the only girl he’s ever seen.
It took less than an hour of being at this party for us to end up in a room alone together.
“You don’t care! You never did!” Rafe shouted, running his hands through his hair, clearly exasperated with this conversation. I don’t even know how it started. One minute I was watching him with another girl, and the next he was hauling me off, away from everyone.
“You don’t give a damn about me, Rafe! How is it you never notice that you’re slowly killing me?” you wanted to yell back at him, to scream at him for putting you through this again, but you couldn’t. He didn’t say anything in return so you continued, “I hate you, and I hate that I love you, Rafe.” I’ve tried to move on, but even the simple thought of dating anyone but him, makes me physically ill. Why does it have to be like this?
“I don’t mean no harm, I just miss you on my arm, babe. Do you ever wonder what we could’ve been y/n?” He’s taunting me by asking dumb questions, as if I wanted this to happen, as if i’m the cause of all of this. Rafe’s the one that was closed off, not me. Of course, he switches the stories and i’m sure everyone at this damn party thinks I left him heart broken.
“You have a girlfriend, why are you even asking me that?” I was starting to get angry, I felt like he was toying with me.
He’s laughing. Of fucking course, he’s laughing at me. This is all one big fucking joke to him. “Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix. Isn’t that what you always told your friends Rafe?” I was furious, how could he act that way after everything? He’s still a child though, that will never change.
✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿
You were right. I did lie to you, multiple times. About where I was, who I was with, what I was doing. I didn’t want you to know I was such a fuck up. You didn’t deserve the pain of finding out I was lying and cheating and drugging. You did anyways though. Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed.
“Rafe! Come dance with me!” I downed the rest of my drink before throwing the glass down and walking away from the new girl I was seeing. I didn’t care anymore.
I don’t want you, Y/N. I shouldn’t fucking miss you. I don’t deserve to! Seeing you again is such bullshit. If you wouldn’t have shown up here, I wouldn’t have said those things to you. Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges, just to create some distance. You didn’t deserve that, I knew it, but at least now you might learn your lesson and stay away. It’s for the best, right?
I hate that I love her, but I can’t put nobody else above her.
✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿
I wasn’t sure if I had the closure I needed, but after that particular conversation with Rafe I felt a little better. I returned to the party with my head held high and danced with my friends. I hoped he was watching me too since i’m not sure what he was trying to do by joking around at my expense. But maybe if he thinks it didn’t bother me he will know how it fucking feels. 
I learned from my dad that it’s good to have feelings when love and trust is gone. I guess this is moving on. I hate you, I love you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
231 notes · View notes
Text
my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa
this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)
ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)
SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA
NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP
jealous y/n you say???
now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao
HELPLESS OH MY GOD
truly madly deeply intended :)
damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special
devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy
awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(
AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god
stuffy moron is correct
"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF
"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET
he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄
FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD
i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most
what the fuck is a maw
ok i looked it up i get it now
"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌
"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn
oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨
HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ
"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺
"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT
"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT
ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock
HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE
couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved
HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT
HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤
'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg
oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj
oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄
"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy
"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby
i think he needs therapy tbh
yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤
"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican
IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho
they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺
im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that
PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now
"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀
HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP
awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss
(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)
HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺
i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream
IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM
ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE
HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺
omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭
HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ
“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him
maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa
“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj
DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD
not a psychotic episode 😭😭
crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king
awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry
matchy socks im gonna sob
king is a chef 😌
y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥
“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties
“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨
he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love
hes such a shithead i love him
SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE
“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF
HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭
RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF
she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad
this… is hot
“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj
HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold
im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei
OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF
oh boy hes gonna kill her
I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP
literally shut the fuck up mr english major
do it bestie kick him in the balls
SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL
IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD
“character development at its finest” what a self aware king
y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️
“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say
“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ
ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time
“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk
“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪
yes bestie objectify him
THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK
PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER
“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”
i think about this on a daily basis i truly do
grey shorts? what a slut
“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs
OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN
him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING
“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃
AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ
yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤
yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃
no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺
I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why
“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd
YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY
he gets her a cup of water 🥺
ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga
awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn
memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃
HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE
niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious
noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn
well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie
I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌
TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ
chatsnap hes such an old man 😭
true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you
not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING
DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP
“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭
“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK
“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj
he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy
ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth
fuck u for that one vampy
wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass
WAIT IS IT WAP
NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS
I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece
I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT
“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS
NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL
YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM
“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭
why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj
dont hand it over i want to see him snap
OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR
oooooooooooo
OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS
not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭
do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it
“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺
“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭
THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING
this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry
“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf
DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN
suing disney for false advertisement 😭
THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ
how do those bubbles taste babe
ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????
“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS
not the boob privileges 😭
WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”
NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺
NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING
“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him
JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ
“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭
OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM
SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING
stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺
“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ
“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ
HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE
Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out
“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him
I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-
theyre so fucking cute i hate them
so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))
3 notes · View notes
ladybugsfanfics · 4 years
Text
(red flags look like normal flags when you’re wearing) rose-tinted glasses
pairing: Tom Hiddleston x platonic!reader
style: one shot
WC: 2.7k
summary: requested by anonymous on tumblr: “Reader is small and have an Danish Dog, thats actually an giant drool dog. While she's taking the dog to the park he start running with Bob while on the tab and he keeps pulling her until Tom saves her. Then Bobby start growling at her, and they think that is bcs he's jealous...”
warnings: angst, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS, ABUSE, PHYSICAL ABUSE, EMOTIONAL ABUSE, ANIMAL ABUSE, please note the abuse, this fic contains it
A/N: this was really hard to write and i want it to be clear that ive never been in an abusive relationship so ive done my best to portray it and how hard it is to break out of it, but i dont have firsthand information. please let me know if something seems unrealistic or weird. i want you all to know that there are explicit abuse, but that it's not very violent but it still has an emotional impact. please don't read if you know it won't be good for you, and there is a happy ending even tho ive made the relationship between reader and tom platonic (that's more for realistic purposes).
Tumblr media
The tall man startles as the bark sounds through the park. You widen your eyes at the sight of the little brown the male walks with. 
No, no, no , you think. 
Your dog, or actually your boyfriend’s dog, is rather big. The giant of a dog also barks whenever he sees brown dogs (as if the dog can be racist, honestly you have no idea how it works, but there are many things that can be the reason), and the dog that man walks with―  
You don’t want to think about it. 
Nor do you get the chance as your tight grip on the leash seems to be your downfall. The dog has almost leapt into the air as the barks rip through the quiet silence of the park. 
“Yoshi! Stop!” you yell, but to no avail. He keeps running, stronger than you even as you put your heels down on the ground and try to brake. 
The tall male has turned around. You send him a pleading look as your dog, almost literally, attacks his little one. In the sudden change of speed, where Yoshi goes from running and barking to hopping around and barking, you trip over your own feet and find yourself on your way to face planting with the ground below. 
A pair of strong arms around your hips keep you from falling and you’re put back up on your feet with your back pressed to a muscular chest. As you regain your balance, the arms fall away. They don’t go far, only to grip the leash of your dog in an attempt to help your arm not dislocate. 
“Thank you,” you say as you crouch down to keep Yoshi under control. He’s stopped barking, and with your soft strokes along his neck, he stops hopping, too. 
“You’re welcome,” replies your saviour. 
Standing up, you find a handsome male looking at you. Curly ginger hair, the most reassuring smile you have ever seen, and gentle blue-green eyes that makes you feel at ease. The way his eyes trace over you make you drag down the sleeve of your jacket slightly, and then you return his smile to the best of your abilities. 
“He can be a little unruly at times, I’m so sorry.” You press your lips together in a tight lipped smile, shaking your head to let your hair come back to the front and cover your neck where your scarf fails. “I think something might’ve happened when he was a puppy because he only reacts to brown dogs.”
The stranger’s smile crinkles his eyes and he lets out a slight chuckle. Your heart beats faster at the sound. You will it to shut up. “Don’t worry about it,” he says. “I’m Tom, by the way.”
“I’m Y/N.” You swallow the lump in your throat. Throat dry and heart steadily beating faster, the pounding like a drum inside your head. “I’m sorry, again. For the whole… thing. But I should get going now.” 
With a little tug of Yoshi’s leash you turn to continue down the path you were headed. A wait from Tom has you turn back around. He steps closer to you, tugging with him his own dog that so far seems rather docile and that you find super cute. 
“Could I possibly get your number?” he asks. 
If your heart hadn’t already lodged itself in your throat from talking to him, it definitely shot there now. With a steady breath (as steady as you can) you nod. “Yeah, sure.” And you take the phone Tom hands you. 
It takes no time typing in your number, but you nearly drop the phone when Tom’s dog starts barking at you. Big dog eyes that look at you, nose high in the air and the barking growing steadily louder as he continues.
Tom frowns at his dog as he accepts his phone. He shakes his head and tugs at the leash, telling ‘Bobby’ to quiet and that there’s nothing to bark about. “I’m sorry,” he says. “He’s probably a little jealous.”
You try for a smile and a soft laugh but it comes out more strained. “Yes, jealous. Makes sense, I guess.” With a deep sigh, you turn to look at Tom again. “Again, so sorry. I guess I’ll hear from you. Bye.”
And now you leave with Yoshi in tow before Tom can stop you. 
You wonder what he’ll do if he finds out you won’t answer his messages. Wonder if he’ll do the same as your boyfriend does whenever you forget to answer or don’t do something as he wants. 
After all, fear was the only reason you did give Tom your phone number. That reassuring smile fools no one, and those gentle eyes are the same gentle ones he uses in front of others. 
Sorry, Tom, but I won’t exchange him for someone worse . Even if I might deserve it . 
 ---
The door is unlocked when you get home. The shoe rack kicked over and the few sets of jackets that hung in the closet have found their way to the floor. Your heart stops beating as fear settles in your gut. 
This is never good, but neither is cleaning it up before he allows you to, so you kick off your own shoes and let your jacket fall to the floor instead of hanging it up. You unclasp Yoshi’s leash and let him pad into the living room and greet his owner. 
Clenching your eyes shut, you regret letting the dog go in before you. The whimper has tears forming in your eyes. You will them back. You can’t cry. Crying just leads to a worse… you don’t know exactly what to call it. 
“Babe?” you call as you take the steps in after the dog. 
Your boyfriend’s rage filled face meets you. He’s locked the dog in its too small cage, and he hits Yoshi on the snout rather hard as the dog lets out another whimper. 
“Babe, huh?” The retort has your gut churn, nervousness courses through your veins. “What the fuck took you so long?!”
There goes the level voice. You keep from closing your eyes, embracing for impact. He likes it more when you face him head on, as if it’s some kind of challenge. Pressing your lips closed, you let your eyes wander over his face. 
You note the down-tug of his lips, the anger boiling like a hot fire in his eyes, and the flare of his nose as his form towers over you. “Bitch, I asked you a fucking question! What the fuck took you so long?!”
“Yo-Yoshi saw a… a dog. I-I couldn’t hold him back and we-we went on a detour.” God, you sound weak. I am weak , you think, too weak . 
“Couldn’t hold him back, my ass.” He takes a step closer to you. Your body moves on its own when it takes a step back. It continues until your back collides with the wall and he locks you in. “Give me your phone!”
You fish your phone out of your pocket and pray to God Tom hasn’t texted you. You haven’t gotten the chance to block his number yet and if he has texted you, well, life for the next three days will be even worse than usual. You’d deserve it, too, probably.
Fear the only thing holding your body up, you hold your breath as he checks. First when he throws it away with a silent grunt and it lands on the couch, and he doesn’t yell, do you let yourself breathe again. 
“Fucking good for you there was nothing there.” His voice is a rough whisper, hoarse and with an underlying tone of want. He doesn’t say more before he presses his lips to yours, pinning your arms to the wall and pressing your head against it. 
When one of his hands falls to your hip, pressing you close to him, pressing you close to the growing bulge in his pants, you know it’ll bruise. Just like you know the grip on your wrist will bruise and that you won’t be able to walk in the next twenty four to thirty six hours. 
You know because that’s how it always is. 
How it always has been. 
 ---
[07.47] Unknown number Hi, this is Tom. I didn’t have time to send a text yesterday, but I still wanted to tell you that I would like to meet you again. Hope that’s possible. - Tom
[08.29] Unknown number I know you haven’t replied yet, and it’s probably because you have yet to wake up, but when you do, would you be up for a cup of coffee? Either lunch or breakfast, whatever sounds best for you? - Tom
[11.32] you Hi, Tom. This is Y/N. Very sorry, but I can’t meet with you. I have plans all week and the next months. Work is taking my time, so is having a boyfriend and friends. Very sorry about my dog, again, but thank you for saving me from the ground. Have a lovely life.
🛇 Blocked
To move this conversation out of Archived and get messages again, unblock xxxxx-xxxxx 
 Unblock
---
You’re unsure what it is that has you think the thought. It pops up from nowhere, really, but it still sounds… reasonable. 
With aching moves, you pack your things. A suitcase is more than enough for everything you own (your boyfriend keeping your hobbies to a fair minimum), and everything for Yoshi.
As you pack the bare essentials, your body shakes. Every few pieces of clothing thrown into the suitcase lands outside on the floor and your heart hammers in your chest. In the bathroom, finding your toothbrush, you hear a noise from the hallway and your heart shoots into your chest. Rushing out and to the living room, you only find Yoshi with one of his toys. 
Tears prick at the back of your eyes. Fear an ever lurking presence. Putting the leash on Yoshi, you hope he isn’t close. You fumble with the clasp and use far longer than you would have liked to put it on, but thankfully, the dog’s big eyes and somewhat smile and the wagging of his tail, helps put you at ease. 
His work day still has three more hours, meaning he won’t be here for another four. That should be enough time, right? More than enough time…
You leave the door unlocked, having left the key to the apartment on the kitchen counter. If anyone robs it… you fear the repercussions, but by the time he comes home, he shouldn’t be able to find you. 
Even as you walk with Yoshi and the suitcase down the street, finding a taxi and asking him to take you to the police station, you don’t know what has settled in you. You don’t know where this is coming from. This… courage.
You’re unsure whether it was the show you saw last night where the relationship between the two romantic leads, even when they were alone, never had any hitting or bruising or anger in the same way he shows. Or if it was Tom, and the way his face still sits at the back of your mind. How you’d compared his gentle eyes and reassuring smile to his fake mask in front of others. 
Has it really taken you so long to see the difference? To see that Tom’s, despite how instilled with fear you were, actually showed genuine compassion and care, and his is always with an extra layer that it takes a lot of study to see (but what else do you use your time on when you can’t look at others when you’re out?). 
You pay the cab driver as he drops you off and you find your way into the police station. It takes a long half hour before you walk out again and sit down on the curb. It takes another three hours to stop crying and shaking. In those three hours, Yoshi lies his head in your lap and lets the weight of him being close reassure you. A man who tries to help and ask what’s wrong is quickly barked away by the dog guarding you. 
It warms your heart.  
A police officer on her way home asks you what’s wrong, and, as you don’t tell, she tells you to contact someone. She also leads you into the waiting room and tells you to sit there until you find help, even if help doesn’t come from the police. In the hour you sit there, you delete the find my phone app and you block him and everyone associated with him on everything you can remember you share. You wish you’d done it sooner. 
In your phone, you’re left with few options. 
The unblock button is easy to press. The text is everything but easy to send. Your fingers shake as you type, and there are countless spelling mistakes. Finding them all takes a few minutes, and even after telling yourself you’ll send it, your finger hovers over the send button. 
Exactly seven minutes and thirty-eight seconds later (you counted), your finger falls down and you press the send button. Watching it turn blue has your heart beat faster and faster, and you press back the tears pricking at your eyes. Swallowing hurts as your throat is unbearably dry. 
The reply comes a lot faster than you would expect, and it helps ease some of the fear lodged in your body. The tears that fall now are a mixture of relief and fear, and Yoshi lying his head down in your lap again helps you regain your composure. 
Tom picks you and Yoshi up at the police station half an hour later. He offers up his guest bedroom, but you refuse, saying you’ll stay at a hotel until you can find something. You don’t refuse his offer of going somewhere to talk over a cup of coffee.
He helps you find a hotel that allows dogs, helps you check in (unlisted) and joins you for a walk with Yoshi before you find a quiet cafe to sit down at. You sit outside, Yoshi quiet by your feet, but regarding everyone who passes by with a steady look. Being a big dog, you see more than one person a little frightened. It warms your heart.
And the coffee in front of you warms your hands. 
“Thank you, Tom,” you say, after the silence becomes too much. “I haven’t told you anything about why but you’re still willing to help. Thank you.”
Tom smiles. One of his hands leaves his cup and when it comes close to yours, you instinctively flinch―though you don’t move it (that has never gone over well in the past). Tom’s hand hovers over yours and his eyes study you as his brows crease into a frown. Your heart pounds in your chest. “I won’t ask, but I hope I can help. However you need.”
Taking a deep breath, you bite your lower lip and look down at your hands. Both now clench around your coffee cup. The steam rises in the cool air and the smell stirs something in your gut, something that has tears prick at the back of your eyes. You let your hearts incessant pounding die down before you look up Tom. 
“I could use a friend,” you say, eventually. The smile you try to show is crooked and unsure, and you know the fright is visible through it. 
Tom still smiles. His eyes are gentle and reassuring, and it warms you that there actually does exist someone who doesn’t raise his voice at weakness and vulnerability. Someone who wants to help, and who doesn’t demand answers. 
You could use a friend. A friend who lets you find your own way and lets you take your time. 
“Anything you need, Y/N,” replies Tom. “Time, space, money, a hug, a friend . Anything.”
This time, when you smile, it crinkles by your eyes. It’s still crooked and unsure, but most of the fright is gone. 
You’ve finally taken off the rose-tinted glasses.
Tumblr media
A/N: you’ve reached the end so please let me know that you’re alright, i care!
permanent tags:  @devilbat @adefectivedetective @gamillian @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @heartislubbingdubbing @wiczer @chillcan @geeksareunique @fandom-imagines1 @murdermornings
tom tags:  @inlovewith3 @bookgirlunicorn​ @mindlesschicca​ @justawriterinprogress​ @wolfsmom1 @loser-alert​ @satanskatze​ @timetravelingsociopathicwalker
66 notes · View notes
wildgeese2017 · 3 years
Text
You: what makes you happy?
Stranger: His smile
You: thats so nie
You: nice
Stranger: But I haven’t seen in in a while
You: :(
Stranger: What makes you happy?
You: i like lying down and feeling the earth cradling my whole physical body i like listening to music by myself
You: but i feel like its all sucks bc it never lasts
You: like his smile
You: i dont know how to make sense of it all
Stranger: I feel you
Stranger: Seems like nothing lasts
You: it scares me
Stranger: And you never know when the last time is going to be the last time
Stranger: You always think you will have more
Stranger: Until you don’t
You: i feel like an animal i feel so blind to what fate has planned for me
You: i want to believe in something to sort of see everything through the right lens but i just dont know whether i cud
You: like i dont know what gods means to me
You: what does it mean to you?
Stranger: I try to trust in him
Stranger: But the faith is being tested
Stranger: I feel like so much unfairness couldn’t come from god
You: i used to know so surely that the whole point of this suffering was that it was a test or an inevitabilty but i worry that my conclusion was false
You: im scared that my faith is just learned helpessness
You: do you have anything you wanted to say
You: like why you are on this platform
Stranger: I just hope you get enough motivation to hold on
Stranger: Even if it’s the bare minimum
You: thanks im fine i just feel so confused
Stranger: I am pretty sure that someday something will come that will make it worth it
You: im doing well im being nice to my loved ones im going to work im having fun im just existentially terrified
Stranger: For everyone
You: yeh i think so too
You: i kno u dont kno me but im rooting for you
Stranger: How old are you ? Sorry if that’s too personal
You: im 20
Stranger: I’m rooting for you too!!! 😄
You: thx
Stranger: The confusion starts at the twenty’s
Stranger: I’m 25 and haven’t figured it out
You: lol ive been confused 4 so long tho
You: i think being confused is the whole point
Stranger: Maybe the meaning of life isn’t to find it purpose
Stranger: But to live and live while it lasts
Stranger: Love*
You: like its all just fluctuations of energy and the universe is just reminding itself that it exists bc being is the point of being like a perfect circle of belief and truth
You: yes i think so too
You: but it leads me to chasing empty bliss
Stranger: You should write a book about it
Stranger: Or poems
You: i want to feel more purpose but i dont know how im scared of nit finding peace and my vulnerability being exploited
You: i write poetry but i feel as tho i havent developed craft
Stranger: You must be brave to feel extraordinary :)
You: how do u express urself?
You: :)
Stranger: I dance
You: <3
Stranger: I’m a dancer
You: thats so wonderful
Stranger: Not good with words
You: does it make you feel free? i can only dance with the lights off
Stranger: Sometimes I turn the music up and close my eyes and just dance whatever I feel inside
You: that sounds nice
You: what kind of music do u like?
Stranger: And most of the times it feels like breaking my own heart
You: :(
Stranger: But it flies itself back together right after
You: in a good or bad way?
Stranger: Glues*
You: sometimes i wish i cud crack open my heart and show people
Stranger: I feel like a slightly cracked heart must fall apart to be build up again
You: i always paraphrase kafka when he said the reason for everything he did is to try and express the unexpressable
Stranger: People tend to ignore small cracks
Stranger: But take it serious when it’s all in pieces
You: :( i wish we cud all b more gentle with each other
Stranger: Same
You: i wish i had more energy to see everyones breaking hearts and fill up the cracks with my own love
Stranger: And I wish we would only fall in love with people who fall for us back
You: are you in love with him?
Stranger: I am
You: i dont kno whether ive ever been in love love what is it like?
Stranger: I’ve been in love once before
Stranger: And I swore I’d never open myself up for anyone
Stranger: And my best friend convinced me to go on this date with this guy
Stranger: And when he kissed me I just knew
You: that must hav been terrifying
Stranger: Took me 5years tho
Stranger: To fall like this again
Stranger: It was
Stranger: In it’s ironic way
Stranger: And it still is
You: i can tget close to anyone like that bc ive got all this stuff i cant let anyone see its brave for you to let someone in even if it hurts
Stranger: You know what?
Stranger: It wasn’t a decision I made !!
You: huh i never thought of it that way
You: maybe it was god
Stranger: Im fact the decision I took was to not let him in before we went on that date
Stranger: It wasn’t something I was in control of
Stranger: And it took him 5 hours to kiss me 😄
Stranger: And when he did time stopped
Stranger: And so did my senses except for feeling
You: what makes him so special? is it just the way he makes you feel or is there a big reason in your mind?
Stranger: It’s …
Stranger: How can I say this
Stranger: He was a surprise
Stranger: I didn’t expect him to be that good
You: did you feel like you had met before?
Stranger: I thought he’d be just another mediocre guy
You: so he suprised you
Stranger: But when I saw his smile and eyes I just knew I was screwed
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: Feel good to finally talk about all this haha
You: ive never felt that way about way about anyone it sounds so confusing
You: is he kind?
Stranger: He was
You: is he not anymore?
Stranger: Sadly no
You: :(
Stranger: He decided to take a step back from me
You: what did he do to make you feel this way (if you dont mind me askin)
You: oh
Stranger: I remember when he called me to tell me he’s not ready for a relationship
You: what are you going to do? i cant imagine never seeing anyone i care about like that again
Stranger: Last time I saw him was three weeks ago
Stranger: And last time I heard from him was one week bwfore
You: did you know him long before ?
Stranger: Three months
Stranger: Not that long
Stranger: But I knew what he would mean to me when I first saw him
Stranger: So it felt like a smaller eternity
You: that sound so difficult
Stranger: I miss him terribly:)
You: i cant imagine feeling that way it wud really scare me everyone i talk to ive known for like 8years i cant give so much of myself to someone new
Stranger: You don’t have to give yourself to someone all at once
Stranger: Be protective of your energy
Stranger: And never trust the other person to not hurt you!
Stranger: But trust yourself and how you will react to it
Stranger: Trust that’s you would be strong enough to handle it
You: do you think he saw the real you? its so weird to think that everyone percieves you differently and out of your own control i worry that i focus too much on an idea of a person that i cud be
Stranger: Yea and no
Stranger: What I showed him was the real me but I also know that I didn’t show him everything that I am
Stranger: I feel your fear ! You got to know who you are as a person first
Stranger: And you got to be authentic with the people around you
You: i think it takes so long to show a clear picture of urself and its always moving and running away from the person you were when you last talked to that person who you want to really see you
Stranger: Exactly!
Stranger: That’s probably the most genuine talk I ever had
You: im so tired of trying to be a person i wish i cud just melt into everyone around me but theres so much i dislike about those around me and its not possible anyway. its just hard knowing the reason for everything is human connection and not living in a way that respects that truth
Stranger: Thank you
You: thank you too
You: i really appreciate your sharing its so scar to be honest out loud
You: *scary
Stranger: True
Stranger: I guess being anonymous makes it easier
You: yeh i just i was going to see a friend today who i feel like understands me but i couldnt in the end and i needed to express a part of myself u kno even tho im talking to other people who know me and care its not the same
You: i hope ou feel better soon regardless of what he chooses for himself
Stranger: I know exactly what you mean
Stranger: After all I have to choose myself over him as well :)
Stranger: Sometimes love isn’t enough
Stranger: Who am I fooling… most of the times it’s not enough
You: i have so many kind lovely friends and family who is trying but i cant let go of this heavy thing its like theres always some invisible chain wrapped around me
You: yeh :(
You: why cant we all help each other more
Stranger: Not many people are spiritual enough to say love is enough and all that matters f*ck the rest
You: i know so many people in pain and im too tired to be there all the time
You: its easy for me to say love is enough when i dont hav so many real problems that cant b solved with love alone
Stranger: I really pray for you to break out of those chains
Stranger: You seem like an amazing loving and caring person
Stranger: You deserve happiness
You: thanks i dont kno whether my hope has any power to reach you but i really hope you get some relief from your pain too
You: you too
You: i think we all do but i cant know that im so lucky to not meet people who are cruel enough to take that belief away from me
Stranger: And if you ever do meet people like that do me the favor of removing them immediately
Stranger: If it costs you your peace it’s too exoenz
You: i guess but i always think what happens to them when im gone?
Stranger: Expensive *
You: where do they go?
Stranger: ALWAYS !
You: what do they feel?
Stranger: That’s none of your business
Stranger: Let them find their own way
You: yeh i think we all need to respect ourselves to let go of toxicity
Stranger: You don’t have to guide them
You: i just feel like i want to care more i want to love more but i dont and that makes me feel small and selfish i wish we cud all connect our love its so scary not being able to reach each other
You: im scared to change and become better it sounds so hard i feel so selfish
Stranger: You’re not selfish if it means protecting your energy
Stranger: But don’t stand in your own way
Stranger: Be brave
Stranger: Can’t stress that enough
You: thanks i think i do need to be braver i try and look more people in the eye but maybe i need to be brave against myself more than against other people
Stranger: Have you ever watched greys anatomy?
You: since they arent in my control
You: no but all my friends love it
You: its on my list loll
Stranger: So Meredith grey said something like :
Stranger: Maybe she wasn’t opening up to people not because she was scared of the love she would receive
Stranger: But scared of what would happen when they took this live away from her someday
Stranger: Once you get a taste of love
Stranger: It’s like a drug
Stranger: Love*
You: like you and him, i find it hard to accept it when people choose me over someone else so i push them away to other people and i get upset that they replaced me
You: love is so scary
You: its too much
Stranger: Me and him …
Stranger: I feel like this story is not over yet
Stranger: :)
Stranger: And that calms me
You: i think if you have so much love inside you, u will succeed and find yourself in a good place if you focus on that love
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: I literally believe in love because of the way I know I am capable to love
You: sometimes i worry that im not capable of love like that like i have something inside me that puts people off even though on a surface level i seem nice and passionate or sweet or whatever
You: like i worry im just playing a part and soon ill get tired of acting and i wont be what people need anymore
Stranger: Don’t worry too much
Stranger: Just truly be yourself
You: thanks i will try too
You: its so weird loving life this much and still not being happy
Stranger: Damn
You: like im so happy but its never enough
You: its not the right kind of joy it wont fit
Stranger: And this whole convo started with this simple question
You: loll
Stranger: What makes you happy
Stranger: Lol
Stranger: You know what I just realized
You: wot :0
Stranger: My answer was wrong in so many ways
Stranger: Your happiness shouldn’t be depending on someone else
Stranger: Cause you can’t control other peoples behavior
You: thats so real
You: its so scary tho since you cant b alone but you cant rely purely on others
Stranger: Your happiness should only be in your hands
Stranger: So controversial
Stranger: It’s a daily risk lol
You: like other people are all that matters but to them you are the other people so we all need to be kind to ourselves to be kind to each toher but we're all to hurt and scared to do all of it in the right way
You: we're all walking around with a piece of the happy puzzle and we have'nt figured out how to put it together
Stranger: sometimes we forget that all people are vulnerable and maybe hurting too
Stranger: When someone hurts your feelings you tend to forget you might have hurt theirs too
You: i always remember but i dont always respect it and that makes me dislike the kind of person i let myself be
Stranger: You will learn to
You: i hope so
You: i think thats the point
Stranger: Don’t pressure yourself
You: like we live and we all learn the same lesson
You: but it seems like its always repeating
You: like why haven't we learned it yet
You: like we're all one soul
You: and we can't reach the end of this problem or is the point how good we feel at points of it? i cant just chase joy if its fleeting iworry that even love is fleeting
You: idk i know we only hav the present
You: like all the advice uve given me i trust it
You: i just freak out thinking of the big picture
Stranger: Relax 😄
Stranger: It’s not all that serious
Stranger: Don’t forget to live along the way
Stranger: Love was never meant to be safe or measured!
Stranger: You got to be brave and love irritationally
You: i think that that is fair i just i go long stretches living and then i remember the whole question of why and how shud i live and i get all tangled up again
Stranger: And instead of being scared, trusting yourself with it
You: i think i need to trust more and i think faith is trust
Stranger: Grow and learn to trust yourself
You: i want to have more faith in myself in others in the future i just worry the way i acheive this will only be a bandaid i want more than blind faith i want to see the world and see it as it is and still feel love and joy and trust the universe and myself to experience it correctly and even let go of the whole concept of correct.
Stranger: I also think I might fall asleep soon lol
You: thanks for listening i think i will too lol good luck i wish you all the best <£
You: <3
Stranger: That’s what I wish you too
Stranger: From the bottom of my heart
You: :-)
Stranger: Take care strangee
You: u 2 :-)
Stranger: Stranger*
1 note · View note
Text
QUESTION OF THE DAY #12: What is your opinion on theatre bootlegs? Spill as much or as little tea as you want.
MY ANSWER: it would be incredibly hypocritical of me to say there’s nothing good about them. i discovered a couple of my all time favorite shows through bootlegs, and when i was a high school/college-aged theatre nerd stuck in the midwest (which i still am, just a bit older now), they brought me a lot of comfort that i could relive my favorite shows again. that said, i can understand POVs re: they weren’t filmed with consent from the actors. however, actors who are speaking out against them need to realize that mainstream theatre needs to be made more accessible in one way or another for poor, disabled, and international theatre fans. tldr: bootlegs aren’t going to go away if celebrities disavow them, but theatre might be able to become more accessible if more of them talk on THAT instead of how evil bootlegs are.
SUMMARY OF ANSWERS: out of 41 responses: 21 were an enthusiastic heck yeah, 13 weren’t as enthusiastic but still along the lines of yeah i support them, 3 answers were like eh i can see both sides i guess/leaning towards no, and 4 people outright said nah bootlegs are not the answer. All the answers under the cut!
if you wanna fight or agree with anyone, refer to the # and send in an ask or reply to this.  
also: while i agree with much of what was said under the cut, i will not come out and say which ones i agree with and what i don’t. my opinion is above and that’s all you need to know about what i think. i do not necessarily condone or agree with anything below. okay, enjoy reading.
1. Anonymous said: I may not be the biggest fan, but I totally get why they exist and have watched a few when they pop up
2.  Anonymous said: for the qotd: bootlegs are godsends
3. Anonymous said: oh god i literally just went on a tangent on twitter just now but bootlegs good!!!! people willingly watch blurry footage of a show bcs they want to know what the show is like, want to experience it live. bway shows arent accessable for everyone (due to prices and distance) but ppl still want to know what its like performed on stage. bootlegs literally dont harm the community. ive seen poto boots, proshots and the tour yet id willingly pay 2 watch again. boots make theatre more accessable imo !!
4. Anonymous said: Boots are good to get a glimpse of different productions? Like even despite Proshots existing of certain musicals, I'd still be curious regarding other interpretations of it! And also besides this it definitely helps make shows accessable to people who physically cannot watch the show!
5. galactic-greens said: I truly see no harm in bootlegs as long as they are treated respectfully. While the creation and consumption is technically a crime, it by no means whatsoever makes you a bad person. It's essentially documenting theatre, and ensuring generations to come will be able to experience what could have been so fleeting. They maintain a community, and as long as NFT dates, masters, and general spread of bootlegs are respected then there really can be no problem. It's just a way to immortalize the art!
6. Anonymous said: On bootlegs: oftentimes they’re the only way someone could be able to see a show, because not everyone can afford the tickets or even the cost to just go to New York for a show. However, it should be acknowledged that filming obviously in the actors’ faces is pretty rude, but at the same time bootlegs at least give a chance for people like me to see shows I might never get to see otherwise.
7. Anonymous said: I love bootlegs because I don’t have the means to be able to travel to see shows or afford tickets, i also do theater and i feel like the point of the art is to share it as much as I can
8. Anonymous said: i've never seen a large-scale live show bc they are not accessible to me. bootlegs are amazing. truly glorious.
9.  Anonymous said: i understand that this is a rather unique experience, but i live in nyc, so bootlegs never measure up to the real thing for me. i know that this isn't something everyone can be lucky enough to say, but live theatre could never be captured in the form of a bootleg-- i don't even like released proshots as much as the real thing
10. Anonymous said: for me bootlegs are fine for those who can't see it live because of the price and they are living from another country though i know there are a lot of actors disagrees about it
11. Anonymous said: as someone who can't afford to go to a professional production of anything, absolutely gimme a bootleg. obviously I wouold prefer, like, a proshot of a show and I really hope that becomes more of the norm (I watched the Newsies proshot on Disney+ and had the happy wiggles for hours afterwards, and I can't wait for the Hamilton one to come out) but until that starts happening I'll take a bootleg any day.
12. Anonymous said: I like that it helps people get into fandoms/musicals that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise but I would prefer if theatres professionally films them.
13. maycombhoney said: they will be a part of theatre culture until live theatre is made accessible for more people
14. Anonymous said: bootlegs are great and until the theater community decides to produce pro-shots i’m all for them
15. zoueriemandzijnopmars said: I would personally feel kinda bad for watching bootlegs, because it won’t directly bring money to the people who worked on the show. I don’t judge people who do watch bootlegs though, because let’s face it, bootlegs are not a replacement for actually going to the theatre and it’s not gonna lose the creators actually money. It might even make them money, because people will listen to the album/buy tickets anyway when they can. I’d just personally be more comfortable watching a proshot
16. Anonymous said: I don't pretend bootlegs aren't stealing but whatever harm they do is abstract enough - and my decisions are drop-in-the-bucket enough - that I do it anyway
17. Anonymous said: I’m totally fine with bootlegs. I’ve watched so many of them that it wouldn’t be fair if I wasn’t. The fact is most people just aren’t able to see shows. Either they live too far away or they can’t afford it, and if this is the only way someone can experience a show, it’s better than never seeing it at all
18. Anonymous said: i think bootlegs are important for accessibility but i really wish more theatres would release proshots. i wouldn't even mind if it were after the broadway run or after the original cast is switched out, but i think it's valuable to have those recordings out during the run of the show to get more people interested and actually wanting to go out and see it. plus, if they're worried about money, they wouldn't *have* to be free. just cheaper than tickets and travel.
19. Anonymous said: about the question of the day, honestly i think bootlegs are fine as long as they're done respectfully and the filmers aren't distracting with it
20. locke-writes said: For the question of the day: If there’s absolutely no way I can see the show live or from a professional recording then I’m going to watch a bootleg. Theater should be more accessible and sometimes a bootleg is my only way to access a show. Having been part of film crews who have shot live theater I think a lot of the lack of pro recordings is the idea which that theater is difficult to record. It isn’t. Give me a pro shot show over a bootleg anyday but I’ll take what I can get
21. Anonymous said: My opinion on bootlegs is I prefer professional recordings ONLY because bootleg quality is terrible for my auditory processing problems and I hate the washed out quality. But since professional recordings are rare (unless you are, interestingly enough, Sight & Sound Theatre); for everyone else: BRING ON THE BOOTLEG! ~ Stripe Conlon
22. Anonymous said: Bootlegs are complicated! As a fan/consumer I think they’re okay, especially considering how inaccessible theatre is for people living in other countries, people who can’t afford to experience shows live, and disabled folks. But as someone who also performs, i understand that it can be distracting and legally complicated for actors who are trying to do their best and did not consent to being filmed that night. I just hope that pro shots will become more common.
23. penguinated said: Bootlegs are fine. They don't cost Broadway a thing since people will literally never not pay to see live shows (except during covid of course). and for many people, seeing a certain show with a certain cast will NEVER be possible, so what's the harm in watching the bootleg? The bootlegs aren't the problem, it's the inaccessibility of live theater, ESPECIALLY Broadway shows. If more things were available to stream (i.e. BroadwayHD) there wouldn't be a need for bootlegs. Bootleg away, imo.
24. Anonymous said: until theatre is made accessible to everyone and there is a proshot released for every show, bootlegs are absolutely necessary for the prosperity of theatre
25. Anonymous said: It's so sad that people think bootlegs are necessary! and it's even sadder that in a way they are. however, too many people use them as an excuse to not pursue alternate affordable alternatives for theatre (such as broadway hd, pursuing local shows including high school and college theatre, and utilizing legally free shows online). In addition, bootlegs absolutely CAN be unethically sourced- recordings of locally produced shows can get theaters in trouble and bankrupt them with legal fees. and if you're recording something from Broadway (which is fine imo usually), if you're actually making people PAY for your illegal recording, that's profiting off the work of others and is both very unethical and exploiting the very people many bootleggers claim to work for the benefit of. When it comes to bootlegs, it's one thing to pass around shows that have finished their runs on Broadway for free- but there's too much unethical and even HARMFUL bootleg behavior and it needs to stop.
26. Anonymous said: since Broadway is too rich and doesn't wanna spend money(for some reason) streaming their shows, then bootlegs are the only option.
27. Anonymous said: Theater is so inaccessible that bootlegs are necessary for a lot of people because with a lot of shows you can’t get a good idea of the show just from the soundtrack but people that share nft boots are assholes
28. Anonymous said: Bootlegs do more good than harm. Those against bootlegs are elitist and don't understand some people cant afford hundreds of dollars in theatre and plane tickets. Bootlegs make people crave the live experience more, a dark and shaky video with shit audio doesn't satiate the desire to see a show live. And if the show is closed all the more reason to watch a bootleg!
29. lynntjeeee said: Theatre bootlegs are amazing and are why there are fans. I live in a country with no musical theater (except the occasional sucky original production with a local celeb who can't sing) so if it not for bootlegs I wouldn't be able to watch any shows and wouldn't be a fan (thus not spending money on cast recordings, etc). People need to realise this, bootlegs do not harm the theater, in fact it only helps it. If there were official recordings, there would be many more fans (and thus more profit!)
30. Anonymous said: Opinion on bootlegs: They wouldn't be necessary if the theater industry would get with the times and release professional shots of their shows on streaming services/cable.
31. Anonymous said: I think that people are really overreacting about bootlegs. ESPECIALLY bootlegs if shows that have already closed- you may never get a chance to see that show! Ever! Now there’s an affordable and accessible way to see shows that people would kill and die for. It isn’t losing Broadway money, in fact it is bringing more people into the medium. Maybe if full proshots were more common I would feel differently, but since there is literally no other way, boots are fine.
32. Anonymous said: Bootleg opinion: just go absolutely hog wild. Fuck it. Be gay do crime.
33. Anonymous said: Bootlegs are one of the few things that are keeping me sane right now, plus the fact that not everyone has dat cash money to see the shows live, so yeah they're good stuff (as long as they are available online w/ at least vaguely good sound quality anyway 😆)
34. Anonymous said: I see it both ways. I can understand why those in the profession are against it; it’s their hard work that’s getting pirated. But I’m also poor. I have no access to theatre outside of cast albums and bootlegs. I don’t watch bootlegs because I personally feel guilty, but I will not and do not judge others if they do.
35. whatdoscissorsdo said: I think broadway bootlegs r okay?? eat the rich amirite
36. Anonymous said: I trade and watch bootlegs and don't plan on stopping, but I've recently realized that it must be super uncomfortable for actors to be filmed without their knowledge or consent, or just to have to have on their minds that they might be being recorded at any time in a performance. Like, I've happily watched Many™ Spring Awakening videos in the past year, but I doubt Alexandra Socha is that thrilled knowing there are videos up on YouTube of featuring her nude at age nineteen.
37. i-am-having-an-emotion said: they will remain a necessary evil until theater is more accessible to the masses. seeing real live theater is always better than a boot but literally like 95% of people can’t access live theater, especially at a broadway caliber, so like..... do The Poors not *deserve* theater??? what are we supposed to do BUT make bootlegs?
38. ope-okay said: bootlegs are blessings from heaven and no one can convince me otherwise
39. Anonymous said: I think it can really hype up the want for the musical. And a really good boot release can bring new creations to an otherwise small fandom. Personally I’m more interested in seeing the musicals I’ve seen boots of than the musicals I haven’t
40. Anonymous said: On the topic of bootlegs, I think they’re great but like especially for people who do not have the means to go see the shows during their runs, I feel like if you do have the means to go see the show you should do that instead
41. Anonymous said: I have a REALLY hard time with bootlegs. Because artists deserve to be paid for their work, and there are a whole host of copywriter issues that come with the mass production of a show. In addition though, I understand the anger you feel at not getting to see a show live, however there are so many resources available to help people get the idea of their favorite show even if they never see it. Honestly Wikipedia is my favorite resource, as often that has a full synopsis of the show. I’ll read that and then listen to the recording a bunch so I can understand the story and imagine what it may look like. A lot of shows put clips on YouTube, the Macy’s parade, the Tony Awards, NBC does a whole broadway week, there are so many ways that you can get glimpses into these shows without resorting to bootlegs (which at this point are still illegal) I’m not a supporter of the “theater must be seen live” idea. While I LOVE live theater (and as a performer I like feeding off an audience) but I’ve see shows with just proshots or just the movie version and they are still just as good. Unfortunately I think the only way we’re are going to make theater more accessible to audiences is through time. Bootlegs I think only make people less inclined to record shows and mass produce them. There are a whole lot of legal things that go into that as well. What I can say is what I’ve done. Read up on the show, watch all the clips you can, sometimes scripts are posted online maybe read those, listen to the album, look at pictures. It SUCKS that theater is exclusive, but bootlegs are not the solution.
let me repeat: if you wanna fight or agree with anyone, refer to the # and send in an ask or reply to this post.
25 notes · View notes
coolgirl · 4 years
Note
Jason expert rate Jason’s designs
sorry for being late i was busy with school but now i’m free so to celebrate. jason indulgence.
pre-crisis not robin
Tumblr media
very cute. i like that it has a lil more of flair to it? the collar and the lines on the gloves and the shorter cape.. also love it has pants. king rlly king. wonder if they already knew he was gonna be robin anyways or if they were still considering nightbird. anyways, 8/10 bc its cute
pre & post-crisis robin (bc its basically the same)
Tumblr media
i mean its a classic.. however it reminds me jason was the only robin who was simply given dick’s clothes rather than like. have an unique look? which sucks. 7/10 middle child syndrome is REAL
post-crisis robin (winter edition)
Tumblr media
OKAY NOW THIS. i absolutely love. is it tacky? oh yes without a doubt. i still love the pants and the sleeves. finally winter clothes for this child, especially considering his new titans scene where he was bitching about the costume not being snow proof. he got what he wanted! 9/10
new 52/rebirth costume by
Tumblr media
EPIC. IDC I LOVE IT.the circles on his arms and his boots.. the lines on his legs.. i just love it. i love the red mask too… it feels.. not more unique, but feels more jason-y than the other costume. 10/10
NOW. onto older stuff
hush
Tumblr media
as u can see im VERY confusion about the pouches and the straps?? why??? whats the purpose.. generally its fine. the white strand moved a nation and i think the chest piece is cool, but everything else.. uglee. like the long as hell jacket and him looking 40 years old like why r u 19 looking like fifty? ugly white man. 5/10
winicks/utrh version
Tumblr media
LITERALLY A CLASSIC. i love this costume sooo much. like jason obviously grew out of it, as in it wouldnt make sense for him anymore to go with something like this as his main costume because i feel like this fit the utrh mood (him not veing a vigilante/hero/villain whatver but trying to be a mob boss n shit) and it just. fucks. i love the helmet just being plain with no stupid mouth or nose shape. i simply love it. 10/10
nigthwing
Tumblr media
its just. its just the nightwing costume. didnt even try he just stole that from dick. he still rocks it and looks better than dick, and u gotta give him points for accessorizing with his dagger. 7/10
red robin 
Tumblr media
im not. a big fan of this costume.. i think the cowl is ugly, it just does not work for someone as big as jason… however i do like why he took this mantle and what it meant.. 6/10 no words head empty. 
oh brother. furryman
Tumblr media
ITS SUCH AN UGLY COSTUME. muzzle batman walked so muzzle red hood could run. its just. ugly like ugly. i dont like the ears or again the muzzle or whatever the hell is going on in the arms.. its just so edgy. 5/10
WANNA KNOW WHAT A SEXY EVIL BATMAN COSTUME LOOK LIKE?
Injustice 2 batman
Tumblr media
I2 HAD IT IN THE BAG BABY. i like that its like classic batman costume but again! with some jason touches! the red eyes, the electric tiddies making a comeback.. epic genuinely epic. 10/10
and if ur not into evil jason
100% dad ‘i have my life figured out’ batman jason 
Tumblr media
just like the nightwing costume this is just. batman costume. nothing special or different from it so its like did u even try? BUT in this scenario it actually means smth that he stuck to bruces costume.. sweet.. but boring. 7/10
speaking of. evil ugly designs. ugh i hate this.
this motherfucker
Tumblr media
ive never. ever. felt as humiliated by a costume than thetime jason wore this. like MORTIFYING RLLY. its DISGUSTINGGG. the helmet shape. the fucking WHITE. the SKULL PLEASE WHO DESIGNED THIS WHO HATES ME IN PARTICULAR SO MUCH??? THIS MAN DOES NOT FUCK! HES UGLY! HE STINKS!!!! the red guns are epic that much i can say. LOOK AT THOSE PANS GOD ITS SO HUMILLIATING. 0/10 WORST COSTUME EVER.
HOWEVER. winick and the artist spun GOLD from it, because next time jason wore possibly my favorite costume to date
this motherfucker…2!
Tumblr media
like look how much better it looks with a little of swag.. the helmet without eyes.. the belts.. the fucking leather jacket.. keeping the red guns/gloves.. like seriously i dont know a better man. the skull is still awful and i wouldve replaced the white for black and MWAH best costume. like the black part at the top make it all red and the white make it black.. god this jason fucks massively i love him. 11/10 my favorite by a landslide perhaps
new 52/rebirth red hood
Tumblr media
OKAY I KNOW theyre slightly different (rebirth has shorter sleeves and a more padded look) but to me its like. same thing. okay i think its.. fine. its not phenomenal but its not ugly.. i like the brown jacket more than the black jacket i have to admit, its more distinctive and i simply like the color more, however i do not.. like jason having the bat symbol.. but thats also a me thing about how badly written this is. anyways. the helmet with the mouth disgusts me and everytime its drawn like that its humilliating. like. 7/10. maybe 7+. when it has the mouth or like nose ANY FACIAL EXPRESSION RLLY its a 5. 
wingman
Tumblr media
oh i absolutely despise that helmet. he looks like fucking. terminator. its the ugliest shape ive ever seen and the visor is.. huge. i dont like the shoulder pads either idk what the fuck its going on with the thing around his neck either.. like hes. knockout batman and i HATEEE IT. damians costume slaps tho. i just… its… ugly. like.. 3/10. 
get damian back arc red hood costume
Tumblr media
oh im a HUGE fan of this design.i love how his costume is designed in a way thats like. if jason was a dnd character he absolutely would be a tank. the padding, the red undertones everywhere, i just.. love it. i like how all the costumes were done to reflect their personalities you know.. i like this robin red hood hybrid. 9/10 would even say 10/10 bc i just enjoy how gleason draws jason.
red hood/arsenal costume
Tumblr media
its like. i dont hate it completely (i love the way the hood+helmet looks) and thats.. yeah thats pretty much all i like about it. i HATEEEE the vest i hate it fr.i hate how huge the sumbol is and idk this costume just does not spark joy. 5/10
outlaw costume
Tumblr media
okay this one. this one drives me insane. because like. okay i dig parts of it. i like the lack of sleeves. i like the gloves thingies. i like the hood. i could get aboard him ditching the helmet - it breaks all the damn time anyways. i like the stripes on his pants in the boots. ALL SEPARATE? NEAT. now i hate. hate. the muzzle. like WHY IT LOOKS SO UGLYYY LIKE SO UGLY like unless the artist GETS IT and is SEXY it looks awful. look at this
Tumblr media
AWFUL. also like it made sense for when he was on the run and he had to make do and assemble a costume from what he had but like now hes sponsored by lex, get that man a goddamn new suit already please. anyways. 6/10.. like i said i like many elements from it but its still.. kinda ugly all together and depends A LOT on the artist.
three jokers
Tumblr media
im torn on this one.. i think its a bit boring.. i dont rlly like the top part, it reminds me SOO much of that one tt issue where he beat the fuck out of tim while wearing a robin costume like i understad the implications of him wearing a costume thats similar to the robin blouse but im not a big fan.. also i prefer the brown leather jacket. its like not his worst costume by far but not the best.. like pretty basic?  i would say 6/10
NOW SOME AUS.
tiny titans & lil gotham
Tumblr media Tumblr media
okay these two are like. pretty much the canon versions of robin and red hood HOWEVER they both have details that are different from the original version and DESERVE a mention. the curls on robin jason and jasons red gloves/belt are ICONIC. whoever designed them knew what they were about, so 10/10 best bapy jason.
arkham knight
Tumblr media
does the person who designed this know how much theyve done for the lgbt community? i hope they do. i love.. a lot about this costume. i love the ears, i love how techno it is, i love the layers to it.. im.. not a big fan of the whole military thingy but i have to admit that applying it to the design itself is kind of neat.. i love the colors too and how.. practical it is while being. well. kinda dramatic? the whole bat aesthetic.. yeah. i love it. 9/10
arkham red hood
Tumblr media
this one.. when u think about it the outlaw version is VEEERY similar to this one: the pants, the hood, the jacket eve. however i like this helmet so much more, i have a weakness for eyeless (??) helmets.. i like the little details of it as well, i remember that pic going around of it being held together with like. fuckign stitches and bandaids. legendary. i love this look, i would say 9+/10
injustice 2 jason
Tumblr media
okay gonna go ahead and say it: not a big fan of the helmet. it looks like.. a bug? the lenses do not spark joy. this bitch has many styles and like toners etc and i will no rate them all. i think its a pretty basic design, not the best but not the worst either. like if it was an exam i would make them pass but make faces at what im reading like eeehhhgh. 7/10.
hag jason
Tumblr media
middle one is like literally, on the outside and superficial level, just. his usual costume. the jacket and the grey kevlar and the bat. now the gloves are sexy as hell.. and in the whit ebackground one u can appreciate the under costume better and i really like it?? i just.. like the design. I HATE HOWEVER the bat helmet. WHY IS IT HOLLOW?? BITCH HELLO?? AND THE BATMAN SYMBOL DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! and i like things making sense!!!. we will not talk about jason in this book. like.. 8/10. maybe 9 if im feeling it.
hag jason 2: the hagger and the furious
Tumblr media
hes just.. a little old man.. he cannot change this.. i like this design. i like seeing jason grow old. wish it wasnt in this context. my father rlly. 8/10
—-
am i forgetting any jays.. i wont do all animated robins because they all look the same and the one that doesnt i do not like. SO HERES my thoughts..
122 notes · View notes
riskeith · 3 years
Note
ooo! how was playing? what do you think about the event? i’m really enjoying it actually... always nice getting new daily things to do hehe.
yeah i think everyone knows The Cover now. i still can’t believe they did that... not complaining tho... oh really? you’re absolutely right and judging by the way they’re taking the story it seems like those two will have a lot more growth to their relationship. who knows maybe we’ll even get a part where bakugou apologizes or even talks about their past etc. one can only wish. YEAH i’ve seen both the movies and i love them!! they’re super fun and such a nice break from everything that happens in the anime sjskjssk kiribaku in the first one was so gay i.... we get it boys y’all in love fhjsjdjfk (THE SIDEWAYS TODOBAKU SMILE... one of my favorite moments ever) i am all caught up now.. waiting for s5... :(
no clue!! it’s just my theory so it might be wrong. the blue one was cute too so was the pink one.... they’re all cute why do we have to pick just one :( HEY you do know how to draw 😡 pretty amazingly too! but i’d love to see that in your style chongyun is so precious.. <3
omg i gotta hustle hard for AR 35 then i already miss him. i’m at 26 now and god.. it’s getting more and more difficult i can’t imagine how it is at like 45... 😭
oooooh!!! honestly barbara healing is godsent if you don’t get him you should consider it (hopefully you do though!!) IVE SEEN VIDEOS OF OCEANID AND HE LOOKS SO SCARY CLUNA.... no thoughts head empty only boy scouts party. looking at others with amazing parties: ok but do you have boy scouts party?
i mostly have sword users! but like i mentioned i’m starting to fall in love with book users (and even bow users) shskfhdkd so i might consider investing in those some day idk they just shoot of attacks and it’s so sexy. no hands dirty. ningguang seems so op 😭 plus geo is so nice!! like an all around element.
HE’S TALL? he has a short person voice...
i’m making a twitter i wanna see some fluff 😭 wait really? even this fandom is shit? why 😭 i sometimes see yt comments and the thing i’m iffy about is how people talk about spending money on it etc but is there more?
i’ve never heard anyone do that that’s so interesting!!!! do you write it down in the same doc and then delete it or do you write it separately?
ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!! i’ve had so many ideas come to me before bed and i always think that i’m gonna remember them but i never do it makes me so upset. especially if it’s an idea of how to continue a story i’m stuck with... god it’s the worse. writer things 🤪
“stan loona” aka bane of my existence. i don’t usually tell ppl i used to stan because of that reason sksksj. god that was the worst sheesh. anyway. yelling at ALL of these!!! ofc i know daddy issues slowed!!!!!!!!! it’s like one of the most popular slowed songs we’re all just a sad horny bunch loving sexy vibes huh. i listen to slowed songs a lot when i write actually it sets the mood. it doesn’t even have to be anything racy sometimes it’s just calms you down. do you listen to music while you write? also i don’t listen to any of those you mentioned except troye 😭 i’m sorry 😭 but if you’re have recs i’d love to hear them ofc!!
“after school” time that’s so cute. it reminds me of when you’re younger and you run back home and eat a snack and watch cartoon (i say that as both of us still watch cartoons... yee) speaking of crying; would you consider yourself a crybaby? (such a random question hskshdjdfhhd)
before i leave; let me blow your mind with a little something... https://twitter.com/primo_fates/status/1347780975078506496?s=21
hehe... mwah. ;)
it was good!! i tried to get some ominous masks and weathered arrows, but drop rates are always shit lolll. and i think the event is alright! i don’t love it but yeah as you said it’s fun to have something more to do every day.
ikr omg... it’s such a good cover LMAO. omg a bakugou apology 😩😩. what did you think of deku vs kacchan part 2?? i regularly rewatch clips of it and cry LMAOOO god bakugou.. “why did i become the reason for all might’s end?” heart broken wow. NICE!! yeah i remember everyone freaking out over the kiribaku scenes in the first one and honestly,,,, how else do you explain it LMAO. (AND THAT SIDEWAYS SMILE!!! holy shit i watched the movie like the day after i got into todobaku and that scene obliterated me.... absolutely destroyed!) aw nice! but yeah now it’s just the waiting game i guess lol welcome to the club 🤪
IKR??? i saw the “once you pick one the others are gone” and i was just nooooooooooo whyyyy. you can’t give us all these options then don’t actually give us an option 😭 AHAHA thank u but i always joke that i can only draw well like once every 10 tries so... yeahhh we shall see! i have this thing envisioned in my mind but i am unable to execute it fskhfkdsjfs
yeah omg when i reached 45 i was like “wow i’m gonna have to do the ascension quest soon” but it’s taking me so long to reach ar 46??? yikes how am i meant to get the experience with no quests fkhdsfkjsd
i use barbara a lot in the fire domains and with the pyro regisvine!! it’s kinda funny that i’m bringing a level 40 into a level 70+ fight LOL but yeah she’s good! AND YEAHHH OCEANID LEGIT GIVES ME NIGHTMARES I JUST. as soon as i had an actual team that could beat it i grinded it as much as i could before my world level went up and it became impossible again.... but since mine might go up again soon maybe i should grind some more... and maybe i’ll be able to level up both xingqiu and barbara lol. EXACTLY!! can they pls interact in game somehow omg.. we need a bennett story!! and more razor!!!! and chongyun too!! i forgot he hasn’t actually appeared in game hfsdkjfds. and ofc xingqiu <3
fdfjlsjfs are you gonna go from a no long range team to an only long range team ahahah. and you like geo??? omg no... i hate it bc it’s so like. inert FHKDJFSD. but i guess the shields are really nice!
HE’S 172 CM!!!!! he has a baby face too so it’s pretty wild fhskdjds
ooo wdym how they talk about spending money? i don’t really look at youtube comments tbh lol. and i haven’t really seen people talk about spending money much on twitter? tho some content creators i follow open commissions for money for the gacha fhsdfksj. if you do end up joining genshintwt i hope you have fun!! 
same doc and then i delete! but sometimes if the plan is really long i’ll make a new doc so i can see both at the same time (but recently i’ve just been opening the same doc again so i can see both that way lol). do your dotpoints go into the same doc as your writing one?
LMAOOO yeah i’m always like “hnghhh okay it’s fine.. i will Remember... trust myself” and then i never do and it’s just like welp goodbye to that amazing idea. but also bc it was thought up at such a weird time maybe it isn’t actually that good after all LOL
oh nice!! yeah slowed songs are soooo good. and i usually do listen to music! it’ll depend on what i’m writing bc i like the songs to have a similar vibe, but sometimes it’s too distracting so i put on lofi or something so there are no words ahaha. oh rippp LOL! hmm well badlands by halsey was my klance/voltron album writing soundtrack for a really long time.. i wrote a few fics with that in the background i think! melanie martinez’ k-12 album has a whole free movie to go with it! if you wanna check that out. bastille’s pompeii was really popular but i also really like flaws and of the night from them.. a lot of these are older bc i don’t listen to new stuff fhsdfkjds. and hmm pentatonix (they’re an acapella group!) do a lot of covers so maybe you can find one of a song you like and check them out that way? ahah that’s a lot feel free to not listen to any!! no stress at all lmao
oh fun fact melanie has a idk what to call it character? and song called ‘crybaby’! so very coincidental you asked. but yeah i think i am? LMAOOO like if i’m alone in my room watching something and it’s sad i Will Not hesitate to cry.. like sometimes you just gotta get it out you know? and sometimes maybe it’s a little boy singing a korean cover of colours of the wind but it’s so ethereal you just burst into tears but that’s fine! FHDSKJFHDSFKJS. how about you?
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD!! i legit. my jaw is dropped. i. oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭😭 FHSJFKHSKDJF1!!!! 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is so atmospheric and cosy and warm 😭😭😭 i can go at peace now.. fhskfhdsjf
thank you always!! - c.r. xoxo
1 note · View note
shytiff · 3 years
Text
Small Dec Wins
i cant believe its December already tf?!?!?!
1 - poli KIA today. saw a mother who cant feel the movement of their baby. the senior midwife tried to find the baby’s heart beat but not finding it. she said she hopes she were wrong. fell asleep at 3pm-ish, woke up super hungry. ate. i swear i feel like my weight when i measured it this morning was ~52, but after eating its close to 54 lol. eating banana and chocolate nextar is yummm. dalbang today is hella funny as always and suuper endearing. fell asleep after dalbang, didnt study hufttt
2 - today im at igd but joined azkia at vk for a bit to see partus. its not that im scared (maybe not consciously) but when the mom was being stitched i felt lightheaded, nausea, cold extremities, and i even had to squat multiple times because i couldnt stand. But i felt better after the partus so maybe seeing it was the cause. I did not feel scared at all honestly ._. and i’ve seen multiple partus before. i dont know why. i can literally feel my symphatetic tone giving out lmaoo. tried matcha latte with Cy matcha powder. it tasted more milky and grassy. mom thought it tasted like nori. i prever cocodeli alll the way (although Cy is cheaper). i think it also has a bit of caffeine that made me feel awake like a normal person should be. 
3 - today is vk but there’s no patient so thank god i saw sumn yesterday. did some cicil ukmppd in the morning accompanied by matcha latte. tried to order dufan tickets and i couldnt find my damn ktp...... fell asleep after worrying about said ktp
4 - matcha latte in the car, swab at lmk, went to dufan by tj with willy, had quite some funn with atikah nila willy amel pupuy. first time trying kereta misteri, quite fun. it rained after ashar so we didnt ride anything after that. turns out my ktp was at barel’s fotocopy lmaoo thankyou ara for picking it. went to solaria ancol afterwards, picked up by mom. i didnt tell her in the morning that i was going to dufan lmao. plenary @ zoom 19 pm. rapat nemo. fell asleep.
5 - went to lmk by tj to surprise clara. went back home and fell asleep. didnt rly do anything afterwards because this ragged body gets tired easily and i dont eat much recently. i can feel the difference before and after eating and there’s actual energy after eating. its not that im hungry though, but i feel less energized. felt annoyed terrible and just wanna lay in bed (this is unrelated with the less food in my system). even though i met up with friends
6 - after LOTS of sleeping i feel somehow better but not to a ‘normal’ amount. watched kimbab family videos. did power vinyasa by doogether with fianti. took a shower and ate indomie and i felt quite normal, except i slept again wtf. i thought i would have the second half of the day but nah. did self tryouts with fianti, 150 FDI questions. I got 96/150 right. huft. such a great reality check
7 - poli lansia with dokter isip, matcha latte in the afternoon rly helps me not sleeping the day away, packed up for depok
8 - poli umum with dr gita (helped doing phys exam), packed the rest of my stuff, ate some risol and matcha lattteee in the car, took swab results, picked up hazmats etc, zoom discussion with FT PKM Kalideres (dr gita) on the way, and i finally arrived at tamel. dinner is granola with vsoy. Taste like a slightly wet granola bar, nutty fiber-y vibe
9 - walked in ui with ara, managed to jog from the trees near st ui until kuburan bikun wow. i reached that point where my leg and heart were going in a steady unburdened pace and my willpower to keep going on was tested. tried the signature steak in Double U Steak by Chef Widi, while ara tried ribeye. the ribeye was more tender than the signature. but the seasoning in the signature is quite delish, salty and oily without being too much (like futago ya). read poppyland fast pass from ara’s phone omg season 1 is finally complete! went to coftof (omgggg i miss this place), it looks different now. ordered matcha latte and it tasted weirdly like a soy milk although ara doesnt feel that way. the matcha tasted weird. wont repurchase. read chainsaw man, its so entertaining, funny and deep at the same time. denji mess around and be too naive sometimes but hes lowkey hot lmaooo. aki is lovvvvve.
10 - first day at rsud budhi asih. had moesli combined with granola + vsoy for brekkie. went back to tamel at 3 pm. it rained when i got back. bought warteg lugina worth 32k. walked to sbux for tumbler day its been a while since i had their matcha latte. it tasted quite good, but not as good as i remembered (?) maybe bcs i asked for non fat milk. sbux closes at 8 pm for now hikss
11 - left tamel at about 7:10 and arrived on budhi asih at 08:54 yalll the traffic. Icu. Bought eatlah double and ate the salted egg part. Nap. ICU discussion with dr Dedi @8pm. I presented from my phone to save data hehe,,
12 - woke up at 8, eatlah brown butter for brekkie, symcard, saladstop's caesar salad for lunch (quite 'eneg' because i didnt eat the cheese evenly so the chicken and cheese were eaten last after the vegs are out. The vegetable's not that variative, and the non vegs make the salad taste delicious (albeit maybe not THAT healthy). Evening jog @UI and i realized i can get wifi sitting near the lake n library. Stared at the night sky from my room, i swear the sky seems super clear. Saw tiny fireworks in the distance
13 - ate muesli and saladstop’s banana walnut cake, symcard, bought moon chicken and saladpoint. lunch was egg salad and the wings. the original tasted so good like??? maybe i havent had msg for a while. also tried big bang, not too spicy which is nice. cicil ukmppd. put my laundry at buih barel lmaoo. try out with fianti. got 70/100
14 - breakfast was salad and leftover chicken. today was bangsal with angga armand. the geriatric patient has a loud murmur yall (and scoliosis, so much that the heart looks distorted). went to margo city to see sales, but when i think about it id rather just thrift stuff lmao. bought lugina. slept through kuliah guru besar. writing this in yellow truck coffee, that had 2 customers on the 1st floor including me. tried banana milk. yall after trying to drink less sugar the beverage tasted super sweet. my headache just goes away. sugar is magic but unhealthy whyyyyy.
15 - igd siang with indah. This body sure is frail. Did cbd with dr afifah AND rescheduled pleno. Rip mobile data i have to use for hotspot.
16 - ok today. Inserted goedel and did bagging. I bagged the patient the wrong way at first (too much). Thankfully the nurses were kind and taught us a lot :) watched some bts content. I feel like after reading househusband my tiktok page is now immensely funnier. Dalbang is also hilarious as always. Put on ginseng sheet mask (smells quite strong)
17 - bangsal. snacked on fried chicken. matcha latte starbucks (turns out its quite full here) and liqo about keeping our tongues in check
18 - arrived at icu. And then opened line. Turns out hadin's swab is positive, so agung kak iman and me have to isolate and swab. So i went back. Ordered kanayam chicken and fish and tempe. Nasi liwet tasted goood damn. Sleptt in the afternoon. Pleno at 4 pm (entered the room 4:30). Had no motivation to do anything. Azkia is getting married! Spent 20 mins formulating words to congratulate her lmaoo
19 - osce simulation, kak nanu was so kind and encouraging. Did try out solid. Lunch is fish bite pasta with melted cheese (cause i had to reach the minimum amount for promo). It got cold so its not that good (pairing it with self made mentai sauce, mixing the mayo and chili, is way much better). Jogged in ui (and searched for wifi). Approached by someone selling haraus coffee (25k), saying that some earnings will be for charity. Its basically sweet. Can barely taste the coffee.
20 - had kanayam for lunch (brekkie is almost always muesli lately). The nasi liwet tasted much better the first time. Walked to yellow truck coffee in the pouring rain. Got banana milk. Saw webinar ksk (electrolyte correction and dr nadhira talkshow). What i got from it is that, dr nadhira is a different person from the first place. Shes visionary, knows what she want and not afraid to reach it. The mindset is different. Even if i try as hard as her, her propensity to growth is different. Cicil ukmppd. Try out with fianti (got 72/100). Talked for an hour about love and marriage and engagements (there are so much of it lately)
21 - leftover kanayam for brekkie, also ate roti salman in cikini st. swab today (met kris, nessa and others). muesli for lunch. i thought my body felt a bit warm, so i decided to find sumn to eat. tried kedai abu bakar’s spaghetti brulee. its okay. maybe because its not too cheesy or meaty, mainly bechamel sauce. the one pupuy made is much tastier. finished the whole 10x20 portion in 2 eating sesh. cicil ukmppd @ bed in the evening (somehow felt refreshed enough to be able to concentrate in bed)
22 - went early to icu to put dops form. lugina for early lunch. i feel like my metabolism is faster? or my body is not so much in calorie deficit mode anymore and it got greedier lmao i used to just ignore hunger but not now, for health. starbiiies tumbler day. ordered black tea latte with non fat milk and vanilla syrup (because raspberry syrup is no more). did cbd geri ppt. 
23 - finally knew the swab result bcs kak iman asked kak farras. thankfully negative. igd with jordi. quite a few chances to do iv line, but i failed 2 times. managed to do iv injection to insert 2 drugs. saw the worst cpr ive ever seen in my life. its too slow, with maximal interruption. fish bite for lunch. wasted the rest of my day
24 - originally intended to run but i cant bring myself out of bed. packed up my stuff. picked up by mom. got the paper result of swab, got ksk from kelvyn @ capitol. can finally drink self-made matcha latte again, but it tasted horrible. i know cy matcha doesnt have that much going on, but even this is low even for them. previously i was starting to get used to the grassy smell.
25 - my lil bro remarked “maybe shes depressed because she doesnt have her chair”. fuck yall. this “depression” that im in is caused by this very place and the people. and im supposed to still muster the strength to study for ukmppd AND get my face together for solid book photoshoot. that shit is too much. this is why the money that goes to cafe, and the bike ride there is worth it for my sanity. after showering, things felt a bit better. had absolutely no will to study today. ate muesli with a bit of matcha latte.
26 - muesli for breakfast. matcha latte is lyfff ive probably said this before but it ~somehow~ makes me feel normal and not in a slump. like im a regular person. with normal moods. and not wanting to sleep all the time. i try to do ukmppd exercises but the pace is so fucking slow, bcs im distracted by get rich haha,,,. the latest potn update (64) is omgggg the mixed feelings? love? hate? anger? everything and nothing? the ~tension and passion~? im obsessed. watched a ton of bts content today and yesterday lmao.
27 - nasi kebuli for brekkie. went to flavola, im the first customer lmao. tried kopi susu coklat, tasted quite close enough to janjiw’s kopi soklat. had the same ~improved mood and concentration~ effect. tried to read ksk. bought milky banana 1L from puyo to give dajen (its his bday yesterday) (i feel prompted (?) to gift people when theyve given a present to me) (because my love lang is not gift giving at all so i barely think abt gifts lmao). talked with sum 33 ipa guys @ dajens house. yay appropriate amount of social battery charging. tryout with fianti, padi this time. got 67/100. 
28 - ate muesli with matcha latte after breakfast. cicil ukmppd. Listened to yoongi's vlive until i fell asleep lol. 2 burger and salad for dinner. omggg hansol revealed his gf. 
29 - spent half of my day tidying up the mess that is my room. figured out what to wear for solid book photoshoot with fianti, ara. matcha latte terosss. phd for dinner. 
30 - breakfast is muesli with cimory choco hazelnut. mom made matcha chocolate brownies. tryna study. slow pace terosss. read some padi materials. dalbang.
31 - bought vsoy low sugar and multigrain. moved my body a bit to youtube videos. showered. felt better. it also rained (which i love). the pleasant mood only lasted til the evening. did nothing from 7pm even though im not sleepy. cant tell when did i start to sleep
and just like that, 2020 kkeut. its sad to say i dont rly remember much remarkable things this year. other than the trip and memories with minor rotation friends. i just remember wasting my life away in my house. i guess that’s the danger of living a monotone life. sometimes you gotta invest some time to have fun, to have motivation to live on and do things. not doing this makes it difficult to live day by day. and friends. meeting friends, seeing new stuff. that helps me live. 
1 note · View note
rqs902 · 4 years
Text
.
enyu’s mom calls him "公子哥" is he rich or is this a JOKE LOL and his mom is at a bar IM CRYING HAHA 
i just get a feeling youku eliminated shiwei for dramatic effect... 
but aw xue en crying over weihao and mxy saying star master kids are all worthy to lin mo 
L O L i was gonna be like oh thats nice enyu’s dad asked about his friends, he’s really been paying attention but then he starts throwing these
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
L O L I SEE WHERE HE GETS HIS REALNESS FROM HAHAHHAHA
Tumblr media
LOL NOW HE KNOWS HOW IT FEELS
omg xikan wanting to call luo zheng!!!! im grateful theyre still close, theyre doing such different things now
awww mubo !!! being all supportive and protective of zuo ye 
hHAHAHA omg fan yu talking on the phone to renyu is so cute, so expressive with the gasp when renyu says they just recorded elims and then the AHHHH and OH MY GOD when he says he and zaixi were eliminated and the ALSKJLAKS and loud sigh when renyu reveals he just tricked him hahahaha theyre so cute omg can fan yu pls show up at the next perf, id die
lin ran’s “new world new me” im cry
lol renyu’s getting roasted by his team mates but at least they didnt really ditch him 
what is this set up anyway? theyre given a mission to leave, so theyre allowed to run around... but not? who planned this lol youku......
LOL jin fan tryin to reason why theyll be ok going to guangzhou 
did their group just get special permission bc director li hao?
hahaha ayyy zhan yu jumped first, you go child! not surprised somehow that he’d love it
lin mo’s group went to the same place? LOL but also they seem so much more under control LOL such a guai group 
LOL WHY ARE THEY SO LOUD HAHAHAH i dont think ive ever seen people that loud on a roller coaster LOL 
LOL why am i not surprised enyu is the one carrying xzx 
i cant with xzx and his heelys omg
leave it to csp to relate bungee jumping to some great deeper meaning for zlj’s personal growth hahahah but good on the kid for going through with it. interesting that zixin said he sees himself in zlj so much
HAHAHHAHA THIS FACE
Tumblr media
when reminded he’s the hormone representative his face changed so fast im crying 
ycw is laughing his butt off and i love how it says “children’s playground” in the background
Tumblr media
when ycw gets thoroughly ignored
Tumblr media Tumblr media
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA OSCAR’S SSHHHHHHHH AND XUE EN TELLS HIM TO WATCH HIS “LANGUAGE LANGUAGE” HAHAHAHHA 
i just realized theres an english speaking line in this group :’) syh, xue en, oscar 
awwwwwwwwww them all planning to sing him happy birthday on the dot and setting it up so he can be at the top at that moment awwww thats so fun
LOL the way that oscar cursed his way to the top and is sweating so hard LOL the poor kid omg HAHAHHA
aw he can tell syh drew the card
LOL ITS OKAY OSCAR I STRUGGLE WITH READING TOO 
get you a friend like ycw who’ll tell you that you can decide how to pronounce words right, just because its your birthday 
struggling to read xue en’s handwriting LOL 
Tumblr media
HHAHAHAHHAHAHA HOW DOES XZX RECOGNIZE IT’S HUANG ENYU BY FEELING HIS PECS HAHAHHAHA
Tumblr media
i feel the need to just say huang junrong looks so adorable in his bright yellow outfit hahah
Tumblr media
there’s two types of kids in this group: hjr and enyu screaming their butts off, and lin mo and xzx wallowing in regret of their life decisions
hjr and enyu always saying its too short when the ride ends LOL
lin mo talking real talk over dinner about their feelings BC HES A REAL LEADER and knows how important it is to address this. these concerns are obviously very present in his mind, even when theyre out having fun to relax, and he’s still trying his best to figure out how he can help them and motivate them. 
makes sense that they would include enyu interview clips bc hes surely spouting the real talk, but i think its interesting its mainly him and lin mo getting screen time. 
enyu would be the one to speak up and say something when lin mo is trying to talk to them though. i think theyre both right though, im guessing lin mo is in part too nice, bc he doesnt feel comfortable enough with them to be as strict as he normally is, bc he knows they have reason to not be motivated and he feels bad for them. but at the same time, he brings up a good point that they themselves need to have their own motivation. it cant just be him putting in effort. and i HUGELY respect that he is telling this to them straight up bc its a hard conversation to have, esp bc im sure he wants them to like him as a friend. but i respect that he knows if they have problems they have to air them out bc lack of communication will be too costly. 
momo is lucky he has someone like enyu on his team who’ll actually talk to him with real opinions rather than just hide in fear of disrupting the status quo. literally enyu is the one voicing that he doesnt want takeout and he doesnt want to stay up late, and other people agree, but the surprise on lin mo’s face just tells you that he wouldnt have even realized these are things that are bothering his teammates unless they straight up told him, and thankfully enyu did, bc lin mo thankfully is reasonable and willing to change his habits for the sake of the group TO HELP THEM. hes willing to do anything he can to help them, as long as they tell him what they want from him. huang enyu’s lesson in communication, dont let people guess, just tell them straight up 
its interesting bc its clear enyu respects lin mo a lot, says he has the experience and the skill and the right to yell at them to get it together, but hes still not afraid to tell lin mo he thinks lin mo should be more strict with them. and then i respect lin mo for not backing down when being criticized and for strongly insisting that they need to put in effort themselves too. he cant force them to do anything they dont want to do themselves. they themselves have to want to do well. 
lin mo is really out here taking care of his group of children and leading them and helping them and looking out for them and im just floored by his leadership yet again. i really hope they can pull it together. 
lin mo is a dork and stanning him leads to mostly either second-hand embarrassment or disappointment. from qcyn to snzm, it just always feels like he’s being mistreated and taken advantage of and stepped on, and sad things just keep happening to him. but then he has these moments where he reminds you of why he’s worth stanning. why it’s worth waiting for something good to finally actually happen. and why he deserves those good things. its just so nice to see hes getting some appreciation and recognition for the things he does. at least youku let us see his leadership in action. 
aw 
Tumblr media
totally not surprised akey is there to drive the conversation for their group’s real talk time. tyger co-leader translates clearly hahah
LOL LI HAO TOTALLY FORGOT THE SNZM DANCE LOL
im like not surprised xikan’s group got the least adventurous adventure bc hes not afraid to show how serious hes taking this competition, but also somehow still feel like hes not getting better treatment relative to being number one?? maybe im just overthinking 
honestly all things considered im okay with this being the debut group
Tumblr media
i mean i love ycw and zry but i feel like this makes sense to me.
this looks scary lol lin ran wyd
Tumblr media
but yea even the way they framed the cliff hanger for next week... why do i just feel like xikan is not being treated with the respect he deserves?? 
anywayyyyyyyyyyyy for 少年營業中
LOL gz’s impression of zlj watching scary movies sounds so accurate im ded
zixin is so adorable!! i love his outfit too ahhah 
LOL gz’s sassy response to zlj responding when xue en says he’s gonna talk about a cute trainee with highly regarded visuals 
Tumblr media
why am i totally not surprised xue en didnt get scared but zixin got scared AGAIN lol 
why do i suddenly get the realization that we hardly ever see ycw and zlj interact 
Tumblr media
it just feels weird to see them together even tho they obviously have overlapping friend groups lol....
poor shiwei isnt even here and they keep talking about him LOL at least theyre not even really roasting him LOL ycw and yzx too nice for that
im just DYING at the cto gege’s laughing SO HARD HAHAHA 
Tumblr media
and ycw’s face LOL 
xue en’s laugh made this ep worth it LOL
Tumblr media
wow should i be happy that lin mo is finally in the next ep of this side show, or sad that jin fan never got to appear and itll be the last ep :( im also excited to see lin ran again! wow its weird to think that snzm is ending soon, it felt like the first 7 eps were like a slow burn and now its a mad rush to the end 
2 notes · View notes
spiritwinding · 4 years
Text
THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse.
fill out & repost !
tagged by:  lmao  tagging:  idk whoever else likes long memes
Tumblr media
my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated
Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. / NOT ANSWERING THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!! NOP Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK (i think so? i mean ive never seen anyone argue that sonic ISNT string) Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK (lmao as if) Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. (again lmao but lmao as in ‘his name is the title’) Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.  Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.  How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (generally speaking!) How strictly do you follow canon?  —  well. i mean i dont bust my ass to follow it frame by frame but i also don’t completely discard it so. though question
SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  imma be real idk wwhat to say yall know who tf sonic is. heart of gold hero who plays by his own rules but has an undying dedication to protecting everyone and making them happy. very friendly and supportive but also vague and private and distant in a lotta ways. comes across as simple minded, maybe a little thick headed, impulsive, arrogant and childish but is actually kinda wise, mostly just confident, and likes to have a good time. live life 2 the fullest baby. 3′0′’ and has and will kick a god’s ass, also doesn’t care for his reputation and is capable of doing things others might read as morally wrong as long as he knows what he’s doing. i dont really care bout my bad reputation *guitar riff* 
Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — the fact sega literally said he’s legally not allowed to be sad ESXRDTFVGBHN honestly it’s Very funny but also gives me material to make him Repressed tm so? i personally dont mind a whole lot, but your mileage may vary
What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  sonic colors!!! i watched chuggaconroy’s lp of it bc my brother said he thought i would like it and i LOVED sonic. so much. i love how he was so jokey and fun and dorky but also cool and how he protected tails above all else and how he got angry at the injustice the wisps were facing and how he just acted so Chill while out running a black hole and then just being? again so chill and confident when he gets brought back to earth. the ending of colors is one of my FAV things and i couldnt pinpoint to exactly why but i so specifically love the bit where he rubs under his nose and says all determined ‘a hedgehogs gotta do whata  hedgehogs gotta do’ like!! i love him. he’s so cool but also talks to robots that cant hear him
What keeps your inspiration going?  —  the plots i have planned mostly EDFVGBH but also i just. love sonic? so much as a character. he means a lot to me so just by default my affection for him gives me motivation and its ultimately what brought me back to the rpc, i just. really missed him!
Some more personal questions for the mun.
Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters.
Tumblr media
Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? (lmao) Do you frequently write headcanons?  about certain things! im better withh prompts though ftvgybhnj Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO (oh you have no idea dfgbhnj) Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO (ask my friends its a problem) Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF?  Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.  Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. (dude it’s why i LEFT EDFGBHNJ) Do you accept criticism about your portrayal?  —  ysee i used to? but. god if i stress out too much about how Good Or Accurate my portrayal is i will just stop having fun. part of why i ended up not being able to keep writing sonic is because i freaked out abt this, it got REALLY bad. i mostly wanna just. write for myself ykno?)
Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  yeah who doesn’t
If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  nnnot necessarily? i wanna hear what that person’s portrayal is like in that aspect because i just love different portrayals of the same character but i dont wanna get into like.. a debate?
If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  i think ive established im just that one meme of the cat crying while looking at a phone so. honestly i really just wanna concentrate on writing stuff i enjoy and writing a verison of sonic thats fun to write for me
If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  like. sonic as a character or spirit? if its the former i mean. go crazy go stupid? live ur life? vfVGBH just dont like. purposefully bash the things i like to my face thats just mean. if its the former then Cest La Vie
Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  if u wanna but. i make so many and i dont proofread so dxcfvgbhnj no point
Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  i’m not strict by any means lmao. like i said im the crying cat meme
2 notes · View notes
enbyboiwonder · 4 years
Text
Tagged by @frozenmemories1987
So I don’t really understand how this one works, so I’m just gonna answer all the questions and number them consecutively. Upfront I’m gonna say that I’m not tagging anyone, but as always, if you wish to do it, consider yourself tagged. Also, this is going under a read more. Save the thumbs of any mobile users
01. What was the last movie you watched in theaters?
It’s been months, so I can’t remember, sorry
02. What’s your favorite game to play?
Currently it’s Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 2. I hadn’t played it since I got it (and beat it all in one go), and I forgot just how much I love this game. It’s like Pokémon meets Dragon Quest, and it’s amazing. On the one hand, making a team entirely of dragons might be a bad idea, but on the other hand, I freaking love dragons. I should probably synth one with a healing skillset if I’m gonna do that - possibly Cure-all since that’s got Multiheal. My current party is a Lv 20 great argon lizard named Rory, a Lv 24 slime stack with Cure-all named Sticker, and a Lv 19 aquestrian gladiator with Huntsman named Mizuno. When I leave them to their own devices, Mizuno really loves using Penny Pincher, which tbh I cannot fault him for - normal damage plus the chance to pinch a few gold coins? Heck yes. At least he’s got 44 MP, so I haven’t had to change his tactics to “Don’t Use Magic” yet (the skill costs 2 MP)
03. Chocolate or vanilla?
Chocolate
04. What’s the last show you binge-watched?
NUMB3RS (though I’m still working on that one)
05. Do you have any pets?
No
06. What’s your favorite fairy tale?
I dunno. I don’t actually read very many fairy tales
07. Who’s your favorite superhero?
Superhero stuff doesn’t normally appeal to me, but I do like Cisco Ramon/Vibe and Ray Palmer/The Atom from CW’s Arrowverse
08. Who’s your favorite Disney princess?
Erm, Rapunzel, I guess?
09. Where’s the first place you’re going to go after social distancing is over?
I know I’m gonna hang out with my friend like we were planning to before this started, but as for where... probably Barnes & Noble since that’s where we usually go, but who knows (I say, knowing full well that neither of us know where to go, and we go to HPB when we’re specifically looking for a book but default to B&N bc of the café and seating area)
10. Cookies or cake?
Cookies
11. What show could you watch over and over?
Monk, CSI, and Psych, to name a few
12. Favorite song lyric?
See, I have to believe that there’s more than this seems More than a soul in a boat in a sea of sinking dreams And I have to be sure that there’s gonna be a cure ‘Cause, somewhere down the line, I lost that part of me that’s pure
 - Where We Belong by Thriving Ivory
13. Favorite season of your favorite TV show?
S14 of CSI, probably
14. What never fails to make you smile/happy?
Seeing I’ve got a comment on AO3
15. How are you doing with all that’s going on in the world (coronavirus, having to do social distancing, etc.)?
My lifestyle hasn’t changed at all, though for some reason I’ve actually been getting way more crocheting and video-gaming done than usual (at the expense, of course, of less reading and writing and TV-watching. Unfortunately). But we have lost business at the doughnut shop so I haven’t been working as many days - usually I work Monday and Friday - which, on the one hand, less money, but on the other hand, I’ve gotten more rest so my bruised ribs (from coughing; I had strep about a month and a half ago, and that always leaves me with a cough for a while, though it’s never been this bad before) are mostly healed now
16. We all love new music to listen to. Name an artist that is underrated/you think people should check out:
Thriving Ivory/Midnight Cinema (same band, different songwriters; Thriving Ivory is more piano-driven and leans more toward alt/alt-rock, while Midnight Cinema is more pop)
17. TV shows or movies?
TV shows
18. Favorite holiday?
Halloween
19. A song that describes you:
I’ve always related to Some Kind of Home by Thriving Ivory
20. Describe your tumblr in three words:
“hella queer animal-lover” idk
21. What’s your favorite hobby?
It depends on my mood, but rn it’s crocheting!
22. What’s your favorite book and/or a really good book you’ve read recently?
CSI: Miami: Cut and Run by Donn Cortez is amazing. I read it back in January and then reread it this month. Probably will be rereading it again before long tbh
Another really good one I’ve read recently is How Rory Thorne Destroyed the Multiverse by K. Eason. It just came out like six months ago, so the second one won’t be out any time soon, but I am ready for it when it does (more than ready, actually; I can’t wait)
23. What’s your favorite ship that will never happen (or hasn’t happened yet)?
I really wish they had done something with Greg/Hodges. I mean, they had the perfect setup for it in 11.07 Bump and Grind, what with their “man-dates” (that never get mentioned again)!! Their man-dates become a regular thing that they do like every week or whatever, eventually they realize that they’re actual dates and have been for a while and they start consciously dating. Maybe Greg already knows he’s bi and is totally cool with it, maybe David’s been repressed and realizes that, oh, that’s why something’s always seemed like it was missing when he tried dating before: he’s gay.
Unsurprisingly, I have a few 11.07 fics in my WIPs
(But also, considering CSI’s track record with respecting queer people [poor], I’m kinda glad they didn’t. Woulda been nice, though, long as they'da done it right)
A ship that I’m really hoping will happen is Penelope and Schneider from One Day at a Time. I love them so much
24. If you could spend the day with any living celebrity, who would it be?
I would rather meet a celebrity in passing than spend a day with them. I am far too awkward and anxious, and I’m afraid it would not be an enjoyable experience for either of us
25. The best worst movie you’ve ever seen - a movie that you know objectively is trash but you can’t help but really enjoy it:
I don’t think I have any like this
26. When you read, do you prefer an eReader or an actual, physical book?
Paper books all the way, baby
27. Favorite movie?
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, probably
28. What does a normal day look like for you?
I stay in bed reading or playing games on my phone (or, more recently, on my DS) for as long as possible, dick around on here for a while whilst also trying to get at least some SwagBucks in another window, try not to forget to eat lunch, play the free money apps I have on my phone while either listening to music on my laptop or watching shows either on my laptop or the TV, try not to forget to eat dinner, watch some more TV or get some reading or gaming in, try not to stay up too late, take over an hour to fall asleep, maybe if I’m lucky get some writing done at some point during any of this (and if I’m really lucky it won’t be while I’m trying to sleep, but usually it is, damn brain)
29. Have you ever watched a show/movie for one character? If so, who?
Normally when I watch something specifically for someone, it’s for an actor I like, but I started watching CW’s The Flash specifically for Cisco Ramon (well, and Harry Wells and their relationship, but mostly Cisco) and Legends of Tomorrow specifically for Ray Palmer, whom I fell in love with in his ep on The Flash lol
30. What is your ultimate concert (musicians/bands from any period, alive or dead)?
I don’t go to concerts (they seem like they’d be very overwhelming), so, none, I guess
31. Book that you were forced to read in school that you hated the most:
God, I fucking hated To Kill a Mockingbird. Actually, I think the only one I actually liked was The Importance of Being Earnest
2 notes · View notes
cleaduvalls · 5 years
Text
i watched “spy kids 4″ exactly twice and i plan to keep it that way. here are my thoughts
i had the volume up from the last one because it was SO QUIET and now my ears hurt. not a great start
i used to think that was carmen and i was so disappointed because i wanted to see carmens kids 😔
tik tok????? oh no
i thought tick tock was matthew lillard for most of the movie
you cant do that in the SIMS
why are you shifitng gears. you dont need to shift gears
shut up wilbur have YOU given birth?????
YOU GO IN AT EVERY FIVE TO SEVEN MINUTES AND YOURE AT THREE ARE YOU S T U P I D
wait it sounds like ive given birth i havent i assure you
a pregnant belly wouldnt make that sound
yeah alright whatever shaggy youre high
isnt she from girl meets world??????
itd make a better sitcom honestly
hahah funney because shes a spy
WHY ARE YOU NOT IN THERE WITH YOUR W I F E
birth is NOT that short
i would be great at cinemasins
oh!!!! disabled character!!!!
who approved this show
oh like its HER fault
youre watching the clock speed up why are you not suspicious
roll credits
argonaut. my english teacher would like that
its 5 o clock somewhere
have you not been watching the show??????
there is a serious lack of floop
i feel like ive seen the boy before too
guess not
also i guess this one had a smell feature?????? ig thats why the baby farts so much
AND IT EXPLAINS THE DRESSING!!!! YOU CAN SMELL DRESSING!!!!!
dont say stepmother its creepy
ooh tinker toys!!!! real ones this time!!!!
girl its dyed blue youre gonna stain your carpet
oh God she wants to be FRIENDS
epic????? No
these pranks can all be used for smellovision
aromascope ig??????
BEING FRIENDS!!!! THATS SOME FANFIC LEVEL TROPEYNESS
oops
the CHEETOS
because you pulled the prank?????
power move
those are really your worst fears?????
i have almost that exact clock
youre looking for SPIES not VILLIANS
i kinda want a clock hand sword
MARISSA NO IM DYING OF SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT
cecils so chill
it looks like the slime from floops castle..... i miss floop
felix has been replaced??? by a computer voice????
oh mood
hahah carmen said that
is that ricky gervais
oh!!!! they broke gender binary!!!!!! took the other chair!!!!!
worlds smallest camera!!!!!!
yeah hes right theres no invisibility powder
ew
its not a SPACESHIP theyre not IN SPACE
hey can we maybe not put that in a movie thanks
yeah i hate this one
that fall was awful
C A R M E N!!!!!!!!!!!
wilbur youre so boring
spy week???? dont you mean shark week?????
buddypack!!!!
IS THAT THE PICTURE FROM WHERE THEY ENTERED FLOOPS CASTLE AND THEN JUNI SAW A THUMB THUMB
i watch these movies too much
except this one this one sucks
7 years ago????? when game over came out????? nice
THE BRAIN THING THAT MADE FOOGLIES!!!
SPY PLANE!!!
SEA GUPPY!!!!
CARMENS GAME SUIT!!!!
why does she still have that
HOW does she still have that
MACHETES ELECTROSHOCK GUMBALLS!!!!!!
DRAGON SPY!!!!
take that giggleses
JUNI!!!! only video tho ://
oof
WAIT I JUST SAW ARGONAUTS NAME TAG AND MY DOG HAD THAT SAME ONE BUT IN PINK AND WE HAD TO GET HER A NEW ONE BECAUSE IT WAS S O  L O U D
your baby is your back up????? Bad Idea
did you not name your child????
why did they pause for a label????
stop making time puns i hate you
i really hope those are floops. like the cereal
stop calling her stepmother like its her name its CREEPY
stop WASTING them
just say youre marissas kids?????? they know who she is
oh God piss joke
oh God POOP joke
right its the bombs that make him cool not the fact that hes literally ricky gervais
and a fart joke????? i hate this movie
silent but LETHAL???? awfyl. i hate it
toot??? stop making fart jokes
OH THEYRE GETTING CHASED CUZ THE SAPPHIRE i need to pay attention more. i blame buzzfeed
“you weirdo you vaporized us” STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO LIKE THIS MOVIE BY PLAYING ON MY NOSTALGIA
its not working btw. i hate this movie
oh look. a butt joke.
oh yay disney acid trip
uh yeah???? hes ricky gervais
yeah except shes WHITE
i kinda wanna go to the cheese shop. wisconsin instincts ig
thats not a WORD
no the red ones the second hand do you know anything?????
how does she know how to army crawl???? shes EIGHT
there are 42 minutes left im suffering
oh no he died
is she wearing twinkle toes??????
did they.... teleport???? was that an awkward cut???? did they straight up travel through time????? im so confused
yknow as an OBVIOUS choice for the next doctor, floop should REALLY be in the movie centered around time
im gonna punch this dude
IM GONNA PUNCH THIS DUDE TOO YOU CAN STILL BE A FAMILY AND CALL YOURSELF STEPKIDS
hes the hulk
oh dear he referenced a meme
he just called the google lady annoying im gonna punch him next
n i c e
SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS!!!!!!
yeah theyre gonna flip youre STALKING THEM
that seems like a Bad Idea
try harder rebecca
IF YOURE GONNA TAKE THEM THERE W H A T DO YOU THINK THEYRE GONNA DO???????
dude you look like youre on crack
youre gonna divorce her because she wasnt allowed to tell you?????????
W H A T
no???? ofc not???? you have no weapons??????
DUDE CHILL SHE L I T E R A L L Y COULDNT TELL YOU
and i feel fine~
J U N I!!!!!!!!!!! FOR REALS!!!!!!!!
oh shiitake mushrooms he got kinda cute
you can???? reach into the garbage can???????
BECAUSE YOURE CHILDREN!!!!!! THEY SHUT DOWN THE SPY KIDS PROGRAM!!!!!!
i love the sound of clockwork. so soothing. that doctor who episode with the time robots???? a fave
oh no they all have died
M A C H E T E!!!!!!!!
why did juni freeze if he didnt really freeze???? thats some buzz lightyear level stuff
oh hey i just realized that junis hair is back!!
oh no now argos the hulk too
the baby looks like dora
hahah funney
HE WAS TOAST IN THE FIRST MOVIE S T O P  P L A Y I N G  O N  N O S T A L G I A
and diaper lady???? Stop
nice censorship
can hearing aids work that well???? im no expert but i dont think they can do that?????
taking his hearing aids???? i hate this guy
R A L P H!!!!
oh!!!!!! sign language!!!!!
Even Evil Has Standards
are they trying to make me cry?? im not
you can travel through time youre just not COOL ENOUGH
oh worm????
side note i figured they were the same guy but i was so disappointed when it wasnt matthew lillard
please let this be over i need to mindlessly scroll the spy kids wiki
stop being philosophical youre wearing twinkle toes
roll credits
us???? wouldnt that be me???? or is us right??? clones are wack
yEET
oh no he died
why did he float???? did they run out of gravity?????
he moved before he touched the watch
yeah but hell see his dad again and thats the point of this whole thing????
oh no he died. for reals this time
this time???? you have 6 months
STOP👏MAKING👏TIME👏PUNS👏
i cant raise my eyebrow😔
YOU CANT DO THAT WE JUST DISCUSSED IT
thats hot
WHY DOES SHE NOT HAVE A NAME
yes bc youre a robot shut up
oh thank God its over
14 notes · View notes