#god help essek if they befriend each other

[devilswalkingstick]

Missing Pieces

-

Essek sits on the ground among the flowers, the moonlight illuminating the small house, the gravestones, and the grove. A gentle breeze rustles the leaves, the scent of tea reaching his nose and he finally looks up from his notebooks.

"It might snow later," Caduceus greets him, offering him a cup as he sits with him. "Wouldn't want you to catch something out here."

"Thank you," Essek says, smiling slightly as the tea warms his hands and his soul.

It's easy to stay in silence with Caduceus. It's comfortable and Essek never feels pressured to break it.

Caduceus does almost seem to be able to read his mind at times, however, so on occasion, he is the one to speak up first.

"Sometimes death is the happy ending," he says, leaning forward to place a hand on Essek's knee. "I know some people think it's not—that it's just sad, or that it's not fair—but it's really just an ending, and sometimes it's the happiest that can be afforded to us."

Essek is hesitant but he nods slowly. "I am just… not used to that view, I suppose," he says, soft and barely above a whisper, his hand resting on top of Caduceus'. "Where I am from, many of us have dozens of lifetimes, millenia more than humans or even other elves." His gaze rests on seven grave markers, each carefully carved and lovingly placed. "How is it that I can spend my first two centuries alone only to be allowed a brief glimpse at happiness before I shall spend my last few centuries alone again?"

"You won't," Caduceus says, "You don't have to." He smiles in that gentle way he has. "You will have others besides us, you will befriend so many in your long life, help so many the way you helped us."

"And if I don't?" Essek asks, lifting his head to look Caduceus in the eye. "If I instead live out the rest of my days as a recluse in a tower?"

"Well, I can't say much to what you choose." Caduceus takes a small sip of his tea before replacing it on the saucer. "I will be gone before you, but you will always have a home here with the Clay family, and when your time comes…" He points to a space beside one with fiery orange flowers growing from it. "They will place you there, and you may join us beyond the veil."

Essek considers this for a long moment before nodding again. "Thank you for the tea," he says, though he hasn't had any. It's not about that anyway.

"Of course," Caduceus says, and moves closer to wrap his arms around Essek in a tight embrace. "You are always welcome here and you are never alone, Mr. Thelyss, I just want you to remember that."

Essek, used to hugs in general and Clay hugs in particular, doesn't even hesitate before returning it, burying his face against the firbolg.

It doesn't matter how long they stay like that, and it doesn't matter if Caduceus' fur is wet from Essek's tears.

It matters that Essek is, and always will be, part of the family.

He isn't alone the rest of his days. He loves many and helps more. He isn't always Essek of Den Thelyss—in fact, he's more often not—but under dozens of names and dozens of faces, he is someone he thinks the Nein could be proud of.

And eventually, he will be welcomed into the earth, and the gods will reunite him with his missing pieces.

#sometimes i think abt cr too long n i just need to write something <3 shout out to my best friend who read it n immediately told me to post #critical role #cr campaign 2 #essek thelyss #caduceus clay #tw death #virg writes

[fortunes-favor]

As if I Am Looking in a Mirror

Co-written with @nottthebest

Paring: Essek thelyss/Caleb Widogast 

Word Count: ~2.8k 

Rating: T Summary: Caleb Widogast and Essek Thelyss both have plans to facilitate spending their lives together. Yussa helps.

Read on Ao3

Caleb and Essek are together for years. And though time is his specialty, Essek finds it slipping through his grasp.

As the weeks and months go by, Essek starts to notice strands of grey hair among a sea of red. And then another. And another, until Caleb’s hair is a mess of orange and red and white and silver.

It hurts seeing Caleb get older when he stays much the same age, at least in appearance. While Caleb is far past middle-aged, Essek is still only barely halfway into his second century.

So one day, he makes up his mind. It comes to him as they sit and study together, Caleb leaning against Essek’s chest, with Essek’s fingers absentmindedly running through Caleb’s salted strands. Caleb’s reading a book, and Essek has his own, though he hasn’t been able to concentrate on it. His fingers come to a stop, catching Caleb’s attention. Caleb leans his head back to see Essek’s thousand-yard stare.

“What’s the matter, liebling? I know that look,” Caleb teases lightly, his voice more gravelly with age.

Essek smiles in return. “Lost in thought. My mind’s been drifting so much these days.”

“Where to?” Caleb puts down his book and shifts to get a better look at the man he loves, causing Perle, one of their three cats, to yowl in protest before jumping off of Caleb’s lap. Caleb mutters a soft apology at the white cat before turning back to look at Essek’s face.

“Oh, places. I wonder what our friends are up to.” He deflects.

If Caleb knew his real train of thought… Well, that conversation will happen later.

“I’ll be visiting Beauregard at the Soul tomorrow. I’ll give you a rundown on what she and Yasha are up to.”

And at that moment, an idea strikes Essek.

“Perhaps I will go pay a visit to Jester and Fjord then. I hear Veth could also use a hand with her summer camps. Maybe a day or two on the coast would be nice.”

Caleb places a quick gentle kiss on his temple. “That sounds lovely. Just, make sure to take your parasol. We don’t want a repeat of last time.”

Essek scoffs, unappreciative of the reminder of the sunburn incident, but gives Caleb a soft smile followed by a sweet kiss on his lips anyway.

The following day, Caleb packs his things and, with a kiss goodbye, teleports directly to the Cobalt Reserve.

Knowing now is his chance, Essek gathers his spellbook and some gem dust. He puts precisely hundred-and-twenty-seven pounds of clay in a vault of amber. And he teleports to Nicodranas.

Jester and the others receive a quick visit, just in case Caleb asks about it later. He’s sure Jester will have sent him a message the moment he walked out the door. But he has a mission for today. With an illusioned disguise—not of Dezran Thain, he never wants to be him again— he quickly makes his way to the monumental tower he knew a friend of a friend would be at. He only hopes he can convince the mage to help.

He greets the goblin servant at Tidepeak, introducing himself as Essek of the Mighty Nein. He says that he has a spell to share with the goblin’s master, one that he’s sure the mage will find fascinating. The goblin lets him in after some persuasion. Once inside, Essek drops the illusion.

“Um. One moment.” Wensforth politely gives a slight bow before scurrying up the stairs, leaving Essek in the foyer. After a few out-of-earshot comments are passed, Essek’s ears perk up.

“Essek Thelyss,” an amused sounding voice rings from somewhere above the entryway. “I’ve heard a lot about you. Come upstairs. Please.”

The mage looks different from when Essek last saw him, but the last time Essek saw him, his face was a void, and his soul was trapped by a living city, so it’s not surprising.

Now, Yussa Errenis sits with thinly-veiled interest on his very-much-there face. “What can I do for you?”

“I have a favour to ask of you.”

Yussa’s interested look turns to one of surprise. “And why would I do you a favour? Do you offer me anything in return?”

Essek grins. “I am a member of the Mighty Nein, as well as one of the people who helped save you from the Astral Sea. I’m sure we can work something out.”

He luckily convinces Yussa to perform the transmogrification ritual to turn him into a fifty-seven-year-old human. Same age as Caleb. Yussa doesn’t quite understand why he would give up the many centuries he has left to live, but it’s fascinating magic that Yussa hasn’t yet had the chance to test, and if the drow wants to be foolish, he’s not going to stop him.

An hour later, Essek is human, skin darker than Beauregard's but cooler in tone, and hair still snowy white. His facial structure is as similar as it can be without raising suspicion. He’s a little taller but not enough to make much of a difference. The wrinkles are new. His skin feeling too loose on his body is new. His ears are definitely going to take some getting used to, and he’s going to have to stop wearing some of his ear cuffs and caps, specifically ones meant to fit pointed elf ears.

At the end of it all, Essek is packing his belongings, still trying to get used to the new body. He is exhausted but also feels like he’s floating, content. He will be able to spend his life with Caleb.

He suddenly stands up straight. “One more thing.”

Yussa’s humoured sigh is not well hidden at all. “Yes, of course, I am at your service. what else?”

Essek hesitates for a moment. “Do not tell Caleb what we have done here today.”

That interested look from before returns to Yussa’s expression. “I hesitate to ask for clarification on that request.”

Essek gives him no clarity, and after a quick thanks, disappears in a show of teleportation magic.

Through the elation of practicing an advanced spell, a similar happiness comes with a thought.

He can grow old with Caleb now. Even if they have very little time left, their time is going to be spent together. And if there is an afterlife, one won’t have to wait long for the other to join him there.

*********

Not too long after, Yussa has yet another visitor. He’s fully expecting the drow––human?––to be back, regretting his decision and asking to work on a reversal of it, see if they can revert him back to an elf, without having to wait the one year. It surprises him to see, instead, a slightly nervous Caleb Widogast, shifting his weight lightly from one side to the other.

“What a coincidence, Mister Widogast. I was expecting-” He shakes his head faintly, remembering his promise. “Nevermind that. What can I do for you?”

Caleb looks skeptical for a second before his expression turns neutral. “I have a favour to ask of you.”

Deja vu is not something Yussa has experienced much in his 400 or so years of life, but then again, it's not often you befriend– no, become indebted to a group as unpredictable as the Mighty Nein.

“Of course.”

Further to Yussa’s surprise, Caleb is asking him much the same thing as his partner did. Except, Caleb is asking to be turned into an elf. Yussa doesn’t know why they wouldn’t have just done this in the first place, if the goal was to match the other’s life expectancy. Then it dawns on him.

He considers divulging Thelyss’ secret, but he did swear to him he wouldn’t tell Widogast about it. And the thought of them seeing each other's plans after they’ve been carried out is amusing, to say the very least. Plus, what’s the harm in watching the world burn just a little? He’s not beyond wasting someone else’s spell components to have a little fun, especially when that person is convinced that this is the thing to do. What’s another point of exhaustion compared to a good joke?

So he agrees. And the ritual begins and ends with expected success. Caleb’s silvering hair is now returned to its coppery brightness, the skin stretched more taught against his sharper, slimmer, ever so slightly more elegant features, his ears now pulled to fine points.

Oh, Yussa would very much enjoy seeing their reactions to each other’s new forms.

Yussa stifles laughter that’s building up at the thought. It really is too bad that both Thelyss and Widogast still wear the amulets that would keep him from Scrying on them. Oh, well, he will surely hear about it later, if not from the pair of knucklehead wizards then from their blue friend who is all too enthusiastic to Send to him.

He’s once again surprised that he’s looking forward to hearing from them.

*********

Essek returns to an empty home several hours later, having enjoyed the Nicodranas sun for the first time in his near-century-and-a-half for a while before returning. Faer, Perle and Fate filter into the room that houses their teleportation circle and all come to a confused halt upon seeing Essek. Essek is unsure of the reason for the change in behaviour for a moment before it hits him that he’s no longer in the body his cats are familiar with.

“Oh, it’s me,” he quickly says in Undercommon, kneeling down in front of the three cats with a hand reaching out to them. “I, ah, look––and smell I’m sure––a little different, but it’s me.”

Perle starts taking tentative steps toward Essek and cautiously sniffs his hand before gently nuzzling her head against Essek’s hand in a show of trust. Faer and Fate soon follow suit after being assured that Essek means them no harm, even if they don’t know it’s him.

Oh, gods, would they ever recognize him again? Would they think that Essek abandoned them if they never notice Essek’s human form to be the Essek that they know?

Essek shakes his head to dismiss the thoughts. Even if the cats never know it’s him, this will have been worth it to not have to live a life without Caleb at his side.

He feeds the cats before grabbing his book from the study and making his way to the bedroom. He trades his day clothing for his flowy pyjama pants, noting the slight difference in fit to his new, slightly less lithe body.

A while after he gets comfortable on the bed and starts reading, Faer jumps onto the bed and curls up at Essek’s side. Essek smiles softly to himself and lays a hand on Faer’s dark grey fur, petting him softly. Over the next couple of hours, while he reads, the other two cats join him on the bed. Perle making biscuits on Caleb’s pillow for a few minutes before settling on it, and Fate lies at the foot of the bed, almost at the very edge. Essek knows he will have to be careful not to kick him off the bed in the night.

Sleep takes him not long after he thinks; It seems there is hope for me with the cats after all.

*********

The next day, Essek hears Caleb come home before he sees him. Essek’s in the study, mulling over scenarios of how best to tell Caleb what he’s done when he hears his partner. Fate jumps off his spot on the desk next to the journal Essek’s jotting down ideas in, presumably to welcome Caleb home.

“I’m in the study, ussta che,” he calls out, standing up promptly. He dusts off imaginary lint from his leggings and wills his hands not to shake. “I, ah, have something to show you!”

“As do I,” Caleb says. Essek waits for rustling, the telltale noises of his wizard going through his bag in search of one thing or the other. It doesn’t come. Instead, Essek hears the approaching footfalls of Caleb.

When Caleb appears at the door, Essek is about to give Caleb a sheepish hello. However, he is shocked out of it the moment his eyes land on Caleb’s elven face. Caleb seems to be faring similarly as his mouth falls open in surprise and his long pointy elf ears twitch.

“Was..?” Caleb manages to get out weakly.

“It, ah, appears that we had a similar train of thought, chathtiu.”

Essek tentatively starts walking toward Caleb, never taking his eyes off the elf. Caleb Widogast is an elf.

“You’re human.”

“Oh,” Essek says, realizing the hilarity of the situation. He is a human now. And Caleb is an elf. Oh, gods. “Yes, I am,” he remembers to respond. “You’re an elf,” he adds immediately after.

“Is this one of your disguises?” There’s a trace of worry in his laugh.

“No.” He laughs in return, trying to ease the weird tension. “I paid our friend Yussa a visit. Something I assume you may have done as well?”

“Ja,” Caleb confirms and cradles his face with a smaller-than-Essek-is-used-to hand. “Schatz… You did this... You would have given your centuries away for me? You have such a long life to live.”

“No,” Essek says, wrapping his arms around Caleb’s neck. “Centuries without you would not have been living.”

“You didn’t think that I might also want to spend centuries with you?”

“I know you wouldn’t want to make your parents wait for you that long, Caleb. I also do not wish for you to have to watch the rest of the Nein die one after the other. I would never ask that of you.”

“I am offering, mein sternenlicht. You would need only accept,” He says, pressing a kiss at Essek’s temple.

“Caleb,” Essek protests softly and lets his eyes fall shut with a deep sigh.

“Unless that is, you find yourself not wanting to spend an elf’s lifespan with me,” Caleb amends, pulling back from Essek. Caleb doesn’t go too far, but Essek feels his warmth pull away anyway and snaps his eyes open.

“Caleb, you know I would stay with you through everything. But elves grow up knowing that they are going to be alive for hundreds and hundreds of years. Humans… You… I fear that you cannot fathom just how long those centuries are.” He runs a loving hand through his partner’s once-again-fully-copper hair and causes his hair tie to come undone, letting down strands as bright as the sun. “I do not want you to grow to regret your decision, chathtiu.”

“It’s good to know that you don’t have enough faith in me and our relationship that you would believe I might regret you if I am given more time,” Caleb teases, but Essek can still feel his hurt through the playful tone.

Essek rubs his temple and carefully chooses his next words to avoid any further miscommunication-related hurt. “Caleb, my love, that is not what I am implying. I trust in us enough to know that you will love me through the remainder of your days. I simply mean that I do not want you to regret this decision.” He gestures at Caleb’s elven body. “You will be the last of the Nein; even Caduceus will have a shorter life than us. Perhaps it is selfish of me, but I do not want to see you go through that.”

Caleb’s face softens. “We,” he says.

Essek tilts his head in question.

“We would be the last of the Nein,” Caleb says, punctuating his words with a kiss on Essek’s lips. “Even still, I see your point, schatz. As much as I would love to spend centuries with you, I did not think about how lonely we both would be without our friends.”

“We could turn them into elves too,” Essek says, joking.

“That is a tempting idea.” Caleb smiles. “But maybe we could meet in the middle.”

“What did you have in mind?”

*********

About a year after he helped an elf become human and a human an elf, Yussa watches two half-elves walk towards the entrance of his tower, one with bright red hair and fair skin, the other with white hair and ashen brown skin. He tells Wensforth to go put some tea on and that he will greet their guests himself, before making his way down to the door.

“Mr. Widogast, Mr. Thelyss, I see you’ve worked something out.”

#shadowgast #fic #shadowgast fic #my fics #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #yussa errenis

[saphirered]

Hi!! If you could, could you write an Essek x platonic or maybe even familial reader? Like, another elf who stubbornly chooses to befriend him a la Jester and explore that dynamic a little? I love your writing!!

Went the sibling route so I hope you like it 😊. Thank you 😘

You’ve been away from your home city and your family for a while. As a member of one of the most respectable Dens your life comes with high expectations for you and your siblings, expectations you’ve managed to live up to. Your skill on the battlefield and as a strategist have been unrivalled to the point where you found yourself quickly rising through the ranks and becoming Taskhand like your youngest brother and recently promoted to Dusk Captain and general. In the eyes of the Dynasty, this left you too valuable to keep on the battlefield at all times and instead you’d sit on the council from now on to be a more active part of bigger scale strategy not limited to the forces of one location.

Back home. While it’s a nice change of scene and you certainly missed the comforts of a soft bed and nice clean blankets life lacks action and amusement. So of course you had to do something to keep yourself occupied when not on official business and keep the boredom at bay. 

Now being back home is great and all but you weren’t just going to stay in your Den home. You had moved out for a reason and honestly would prefer the battlefield over that place. No, a place suitable for your new station with a household set up would be provided but was still weeks if not months in the making. 

That left you with three options; living at the Bastion. Out of the question. You’re not sleeping in the place you work surrounded by the people you’re supposed to argue. No thanks. An inn; Essek shut that one down quickly. You and a somewhat rowdy crowd is a terrible combination. He doesn’t need a possible political scandal because you accidentally made enemies out of the wrong person and get shived in your sleep. 

So that created the third option; staying at your brother’ because Bazzoxan’s too inconvenient. Sorry Verin, no matter how much you love him, you’ll have to suck it up and annoy Essek instead of sparring with him whenever you please. You’d be staying at the three towers Essek owned. What can you say? Wizards and their aesthetics. 

You were just relaxing in your chambers when the smell of burned food reached your nose. Responding quickly you get up and try to find the source. You find the culprit quite easily. Your nose leading you to the kitchen. Remnants of smoke still linger in the hallway leading up to it but are dissipating signalling the danger has passed. 

You walk in quietly leaning against the doorpost arms crossed. Essek is cursing to himself while using his magic to cool and quench the embers of something that looks more like charcoal than anything else. 

“Essek, don’t you know coal is supposed to go in the fire not over it?” He nearly jumps out of his skin and a blast of chill touch is send in your direction. Luckily you’re fine. His shoulders slump the moment he realises he’s not in any danger and it’s just you. 

“Of course I know how to use coal. That doesn’t change this is burned to a crisp.” Essek appears to be thoroughly stressed out about something. And if this is what’s been happening every time he prepares a meal for himself you begin to understand why he’d need three towers; in case one of them burns down should he try to make a creme brûlée. 

“Oof, touchy much? What’s bothering you so much you feel the need to burn down the kitchen?” You take the pan off the stove. That one’s done for so you put it out of the way to the side. 

“Some people are coming by. I was trying to make something for their visit before their arrival.” You raise an eyebrow. Why didn’t Essek just have a kitchen crew come in and prepare stuff if he’s having guests, you wonder… If official guests are coming by, no way in the nine hells they’re cooking anything themselves. That’s what you hire people for. Unless… You gasp.

“ Essek! Are you having friends over?! Real friends! I’m so proud of you!” You pat his shoulder and see him turn into the embarrassed little brother you remember from your childhood. The two of you hadn’t been close since childhood. Simply because of different directions of life. You love your brother no matter what so you’ll take your chances to bond, especially if that means you get to tease him endlessly again.

“Enough of that.” He lightly slaps away your hand as you begin interrogating him about these ‘friends’ of his. He’s avoiding most questions no matter how much you push for answers. 

“How about a deal? I help you make something presentable and digestible and you spill the beans.” Essek looks at you, the destroyed pan back to you again and sighs pinching his brow already regretting his decision.

“Deal.” He says and you squeal in excitement pulling him over to the simple chair and small table in the kitchen and sit him down. 

“Let’s start off, what were you trying to make and how did it end in a fire?” Essek explains to you the process of this disaster. Lesson one; you don’t cook pastries in a pan for faster ‘cooking time’. Lesson two; butter. All the butter and sugar. Make sure they’re mixed properly.

You go through the pantry for ingredients to make some delicious sugary sweet muffins probably closer to the size of small pies but who can blame you? You’re pretty serious when it comes to your treats. While you move about you ask a manifold questions and you get to hear the tales of the Mighty Nein. Of course you couldn’t simply leave it at a question and answer without prying for more details, of which Essek was holding back you managed to get him to talk and get embarrassed quite a few times. 

“You speak very highly of this wizard. Is he cute?” You speak as innocently as you can muster setting the muffins on a tray when there’s a knock at the door. Before you can get an answer Essek drifts off in the direction of the front door. Rude. You quickly discard the apron you had found and grab the tray following behind Essek. 

Waving his hand he uses his magic to open the door from the landing. What could only be described as a group of misfits enters the tower looking around for their host. You like them already. Among them you see the redheaded wizard. 

“Ooh so he is cute. I see why you taught him Dunamancy.” You whisper as you pass him down the stairs to properly greet these friends. You set the tray on the table and get a better look. Some eyes narrow, others stare trying to place you it seems. 

“Oh. My. God. Essek! Cupcakes!” The blue tiefling, Jester exclaims taking a closer look only held back by the one dressed in blue- Beauregard. 

“So who are you?” Beauregard asks bluntly, bordering rude but Essek told you that’s simply how she talks and doesn’t necessarily mean anything by it. You turn to Essek.

“So rude! You didn’t even tell them you have siblings?!” You send your brother a playful glare. You know he’s not one to talk about his private life. Essek goes to respond with some kind of retort or clever coverup but is interrupted by Jester face stuffed with a pastry. 

“These are so good. Hi! I’m Jester.” 

“They are my personal favourites. I figured on your travels you wouldn’t come across any kind of pastry for long times so when Essek mentioned, I just had to make them.” You go over introductions proper and are able to put faces to the names and stories you’ve heard. You were already getting along quite swimmingly with them, especially Jester. 

“So, Caleb, I hear you like studying Dunamis. Should I expect seeing you more around the towers?” You take a sip of your tea, graciously provided by the pink haired firbolg, Caduceus. 

“Essek’s got plenty more to teach so if the two of you need some private time for your studies don’t be afraid to ask. I’m not the worst housemate. I’ll be out of your hair in an instance.” You smile innocently putting down your cup on the table. Beauregard nearly does a spit take, Caleb begins turning about as red as his hair and Essek wishes the void could just swallow him whole to spare him the humiliation you’re laying on thick. 

“Yes! And I’m pretty sure Caleb could teach you some Zemnian if you two ever grow bored and want a change. You could teach Essek all about the Zemnian ways, Caleb!” Jester furiously wiggles her eyebrows moving closer to your side and wiggling her shoulder against yours. 

“I can already tell we’re going to be the best of friends y/n!” Jester says as you nudge her back in agreement, both of you mirroring each other’s smiles. 

“Oh no… There’s two of them…” Fjord speaks attempting to suppress giggles of his own as the two wizards share a look. 

#critical role x reader #mighty nein x reader #critrole x reader #essek x reader #essek thelyss x reader