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hitechlatte · 1 year

Note

if you're still making the visual novel thing, do you have any advice on starting one? I really want to make one, but don't know how

Sorry for the delay in my response on this! Wanted to take some time to collect my thoughts and it took longer than expected!

So yep still working on on my game, but I have some bugs that I haven't been able to fix, so no updates yet. Hopefully I'll get some free time to work on those soon! And for the advice, I'm happy to share! Click read more to see my thoughts:

Tip 1 - Paper Prototype/Design

So especially if you've never made a game before, I'd recommend sketching out your game before making anything. This could be with actual paper or just in like a google doc or slideshow. This way you can detail out how you want the game to flow, so you don't spend a billion hours trying to make something just to find out it looks bad or won't work. (TOTES didn't learn this the hard way) For a visual novel specifically, I would recommend maybe just writing out the story in a google doc, like write out the story with possible "stage notes" referencing what may happen on screen so you can more easily determine what art assets you would need! Here is an example of the sketches I made before I started working on my coffee shop demo:

Tip 2 - Start SMALL

Start SUPER small, especially if its your first game. Like come up with your idea and then CUT IT IN HALF maybe even a third or by ten! Like keep cutting away until you have a super basic idea you can test out and then after getting the hang of it, then I'd recommend doing something longer.

For example, if you wanted to do a visual novel where you bump into a love interest at a library and you see them every time you study for a month, chop it down to just one day and test out a flow to see how the idea would work.

For example in the game I'm currently working on, I'm just starting with a single customer on a single day and testing out all the features with him before I start moving to random NPCS or multiple days.

Tip 3 - Plot out your branches in a visual way

If your visual novel has branching options, make sure you have some way to check the flow of the story so you don't run into dead ends without an ending and to make sure you can check for plot holes.

For example if one branch the player decides to be mean, it wouldn't make sense for the character they are talking to to suddenly go down a branch where they say something super nice.

If the program you're using to make the visual novel in has a flow to view that's the best way to do it, but if not, then I'd recommend drafting it out in something like Miro (which is free btw, just requires an email sign up), or some other program where you can draft out flows. I mean if it's super simple branching even google images could work.

Tip 4 - The program doesn't really matter

Especially starting out, it doesn't really matter which game engine you use. The only thing that really matters is finding something you can learn quick so you can start getting your hands dirty.

If you don't have any engines in mind and would like some recommendations for free software, I feel any of the following would work:

Godot

Good for beginners, especially w/o programming experience from what I've heard

Heard it has some limitations if you want to do anything more complex

I haven't used godot yet, but I've heard nothing but great things! (I'm hoping to try it out soon, so I'll let you know once I get around to it!)

Unity

Require you to code, but it's usually pretty simple to get started as far as code goes.

The tutorials people have online are pretty awesome, and usually pretty good to follow along, and if you want to branch into more complex stuff, you'll have already learned the Unity basics.

I started learning game dev in Unity and have been using it for years so I always recommend it, but that's just what I've gotten used to.

Ren.Py

I don't know a ton about this program, but its what the Grunkle Stan Dating Sim was made in, and that game was super awesome.

And also this is made for visual novels so it should have a lot of useful tools and features.

Yarn Spinner

So this isn't an engine, but it's something you can add to Unity or Godot to help you with adding in the dialogue.

I haven't had a chance to use this, but I've been meaning to mess around with it. I've heard nothing, but fantastic things.

Tip 5 - 80/20 Rule

I always use the 80/20 rule when making games, to help prevent stress and burnout. 80% percent of the stuff I add to my games, I know how to do, while 20% is the new stuff to learn.

Now since this is your first game, you might be like Yo! I don't know 80 percent!

But to that I say HUMBUG! You know more than you'd guess! If you've ever written stories before, then bam, the story writing is part of your 80%. Just make sure to stick to a simple story that you know you'd be able to write!

Do you doodle? Bam some of your 80% is art! Stick to making art assets, only as complex as you've drawn before!

Obviously this is more a guideline, so the TLDR just make sure to focus on learning one or two main things and then keep everything else easy, so you don't burn out!

Tip 6 - Free Shit is AWESOME

Don't know art or can't make music? Use assets from online! There are tons of free assets people post stuff online that you can use.

This way you can focus on this harder stuff and get some of the easy stuff out of the way.

Some free resources I use are as follows:

Game Assets: https://itch.io/game-assets/free

Audio Files: https://freesound.org/

Music: https://www.bensound.com/royalty-free-music/2

If using Unity, they also have an asset store. Also I think steam and humble bundle have free stuff you might be able to use too.

There tons more sites out there too, these are just the one's I've used in the past.

I will mention too, I'd recommend not paying for anything in the beginning. Because you may buy all these programs and then never use any of them again, and there is tons of awesome free stuff to use while starting out. That way you can figure out what areas of game dev you like more and buy programs as needed.

Tip 6 - Chaos is inevitable

Everything will eventually blow up in your face.

You'll spend two hours screaming at the same bug to just realize you forgot to hit save.

You'll delete files by mistake and lose hours of work.

You'll spend two weeks plotting out a story idea to realize it doesn't make any sense.

You'll spend a month working on a game idea to realize you hate the concept and it's not as fun as you thought.

You'll show your game to someone else and they won't get it because you didn't make the controls easy enough to use or understand.

You'll KEEP finding spelling errors in your dialogue after vigorously spell checking everything.

You'll get frustrated and want to swear off making games/visual novels and just abandon project after project.

BUT

THAT'S

OKAY

Art isn't easy in any form and game dev is just art with math so it's the perfect storm.

So don't be too hard on yourself when you inevitably fail.

And know too, all your failures will make you smarter and you'll get better so when things click, you'll make something you're super proud of.

I have a graveyard of games that will NEVER see the light of day. Games I fell in love with that I'll never finish.

And that's okay.

Just like with exes, no matter how bad or messy things get, we can be grateful (most of the time), because we learned something about ourselves and we can grow from it.

So TLDR, don't be too hard on yourself and enjoy the journey! Make games that make you happy and just take developing at whatever pace works for you.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk and I wish you the best with whatever you make!

(Also if you need someone to play test I'd love to check stuff out <3)

#game dev #visual novel #indiegamedev #indie game design

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satoshi-mochida · 1 year

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Some thoughts on my last Gamefly rental, Life is Strange 2(plus The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit, since it’s related), PS4 version:

Full disclosure, I used a guide to try and get what felt like the best possible events and endings, and still messed up here and there, though I took a look at what happens in the other ones. I’d recommended going through as blind as possible once, though. Also, because I rented it and not bought the game, I had to buy Episode 5 separately.

The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit

This is a story about one Saturday morning of the protagonist Chris and his single father, who became an alcoholic after his wife passed away, that takes place partway through LiS 2.

During the story, Chris has several tasks he can choose to do, shown by hitting the Touchpad, while looking around his house and the yard/backyard outside his house, as well as doing house chores and interacting/checking many items in these areas.

Some actions will need you to hold L2 to use Chris’s ‘power’ on them to interact with, and some will have that as an optional/alternate way to do so.

The save data for this carries over into LiS2, your actions and choices having an effect on a few parts when Sean and Daniel meet up with Chris in Chapter 2, such as his chosen Captain Spirit disguise, and some dialogue sections.

As I’ve seen what alcohol can possibly do to people, this one hit me close and resonated with me at times, and it felt like, at least to me, I could tell when Chris was probably being careful when talking to his dad while he’s drunk. Or that’s how I saw it, anyway. But, searching around the house shows us that, despite his dad’s current state, and some hurtful things he says, he is shown to still care about Chris, and, without giving too much away, you can have Sean and Daniel help mend things between them down the road.

Not sure if it’s from me downloading the demo from the PSN, since I found out it was also on the LiS2 disc, but it overheated my PS4 a few times. That’s Chris’s real power, apparently. XP

Life is Strange 2

For those who don’t already know, the story is about two brothers, Sean and Daniel Diaz, who, after their father is accidently killed and Daniel’s power awakens in a blast causing damage to where they live, Sean takes him on the run, eventually deciding to try and escape to Mexico and reach a town named Puerto Lobos. As they make their way down the U.S. west coast, they’ll learn more about their family, meet many people along the way, both friendly and hostile, and can either grow closer, or farther apart.

At the start of the game, you’ll be given the option to pick which ending you got in the first Life is Strange(you can also say that you didn’t play it, which will have one of the two selected randomly). Like your own choices in the game, Max and Chloe’s actions had consequences. Whichever you choose, it doesn’t change the story majorly, just a couple scenes, I believe, one of which being for a cameo from a certain character.

During the story, there’ll be a few invisible factors that determine Daniel’s growth, attitude and actions that Sean’s choices and actions can raise or lower)the first two are the most important, overall).

Brotherhood with Sean(determines of Daniel listens or ignores stuff Sean asks him to do sometimes)

Morality(this will be what determines the main ending you get after making the final choice of Episode 5)

Daniel's inclination to steal(just for Episodes 1 and 2)

Daniel’s willingness to use his power

As Daniel’s power isn’t the same as Max’s, there’s no take-backs on any choices you make, so choose wisely. There’s some choices that won’t have major effects aside from the current situation, but most will, and some won’t have a ‘good’ outcome, no matter the choice.

Like in the Captain Spirit demo, sometimes you’ll be able to hold L2 to have Daniel interact or use his power on stuff you can examine, and the story may change a bit depending on some of what he interreacts with this way.

Something I like in these types of games is the environmental storytelling they have, with examining or interacting with various objects around the game having Sean talk about them, and may give more background details about himself and family, and on occasion may open more dialogue.

Parts that hit me hard in this were mainly about the boys and their father, especially after his death, and the reminiscing about their time with him, stuff they all did together, and what they didn’t(or possibly didn't(like hugging Esteban after talking to him early on). Another important thing brought up is not to take what you’ve got for granted; they won’t be there forever.

The brotherly scenes that happen, or can happen, between the brothers are really sweet to see, despite the arguing the two frequently have.

There are four main endings, though some can have a few variables based on your choices and actions during the game. I went with the ‘Redemption’ ending, for those curious.

Though it’s like only a couple lines overall compared to the whole game, there are some references to some ridiculous remarks from a certain individual concerning people from Mexico and the border, though said person is never namedropped. The theme of racism and bigotry is present at several times in the story, though the game’s main focus is on the brothers’ journey. They’re mostly there to set the mood and background, and show some obstacles the brothers have to deal with on their journey, as they’re both half-Mexican, and some people they meet are from less fortunate or less tolerant walks of life.

If I had to pick a favorite character besides the brothers, I’d go with Brody, I think. At the end of Episode 1, he is a big help to the brothers, no strings attached, and helps get them started more directly on heading towards Puerto Lobos.

I’m glad I finally got to this, even if I didn’t go through blind. I can see where Dontnod improved from the first game, and looking forward to playing LiS: True Colors eventually(on the Switch, though, so I don’t have to hear the PS4′s loud fan).

Next game being sent is: Gal Metal.

#Life is Strange 2 #Life is Strange #The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit #Captain Spirit #Thoughts on my rentals

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radiotorn · 2 years

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hey bestie this is definitely not tori please do the tf2 ask meme odds if you are okay with that pleas thx ^_^ *frolicks away*

ANSWERING THIS SOOOO LATE but i want it OUUTT!! so here we GO

1- Who are your favorite tf2 content creators? hmhmhmmmmm….in terms of entertainment videos im sorta looking for someone but i like Kostamoinen, Winglet, STBlackST, CrazyScoutFIN, ShorK, Jesse Baumgartner & plus ive heard good things about Hoovy Tube but donnt know yet…..in terms of art…well…check my fav tag 😏 and also all my buddies and pals they're correct and right whenever they say things about thhe video game

3- Who is your favorite side character? I think Miss Pauling isn't a side character soo….i really like Heavy's family they r very awesome mode….i also have a soft spot for Olivia Mann i think too much about her and then i cry (yes…u can ask if u would like to…giggle) or MAGGIE GASP…i love mags....im going to give her the world and then more

5- Who are your LEAST favorite characters? hmmmmmm….ik ive said it before but i guess cheavy huh. OR classic soldier and scout i do not like them (the classic ones that come with cheavy ofc)

7- How did you find out about tf2? answered in the last ask for these, but from a ytp audio used in a flipnote if u rlly want it lmk

9- How long have you been in the fandom? funny enough i have the exact date bc i keep a journal. May 2nd 2021 is when i played the game for the first time so it started then

11- Favorite voice line? a LOT of them are engies lines again bc. well. like "Start prayin', boy!", "im wolverine-mean, you son of a bitch", and "you look a mite tongue-tied, son" they. he. im ok. im ok. im alright

13- What’s your favorite thing about the fandom? i stay within my small bubble most of the time, but i do technically have fandom to thank for introducing me to some really awesome people and mutuals :] so that i suppose! also the savetf2 tag is really really awesome

15- Do you have a NOTP? if so then what? scoutpauling and spyscout, to the max. one is incxst and the other is just. not right lol both are nem jó for me. the majority of them are either nice or just not my cup of tea

17- An unpopular opinion you have? hmm….yes! not in the terms of ppl not agreeing but just bc it hasnt been talked about but Maggie is Hungarian! she is to me and thats it ok. like theres more backing it up but its burried under a personal hc that is intertwined with an oc so.shrugs. shes hungarian to me even outside of self indulgence

19- RED or BLU? red :] i like the look of red bases more than the blu ones

21- What is your favorite piece from the tf2 OST? ROBOTS ROBOTS TO THE.MAX I LOVE. THIS SONG SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!! I LOVE THAT!!! I OLOVE IT!!! it makes me feel so awesome

23- Who do you main? i kinda find myself maining someone different every once in awhile, but i'm mostly a demo or scout main! i try to at least know how to play every class a little (except spy. not yet i'm not ready)

25- What is your favorite ‘Meet the…’ video? meet the pyro i love that one…my favey….revolutionary for the time….

27- Which character would you get along the best with? OH HELL uhh hm hmmm hurm looks inside myself…realistically? probably scout or engie…but why must i choose…when we could all be friends….i have ten hands

29- Is there a character you loved at first but now you hate? nope! my love has only grown since i got into this game i find something to love in all the characters and those who i didnt like i still dont fuck with

31- Which character is overrated? i mean, i feel like scout obvs is but i also really like scout but ppl dont get him. they dont get it right u gotta get him right. i feel like that can be the case with a lot of overrated chars......spice it up with the portrayals and then it wont taste so bad even if theyre still overrated

33- Which character do you relate to most? (or as the cool kids say, “kin”) yknwo im not just saying this but i think a good blend of engie and sniper (moreso engie maybe) with like. seasoned with some pyro . like its the nonchalance with boiling autism rage and also. sparkle on. does that make sense

35- Best character design? FUUUCCKKKK U CANT ASK THATTTTT!!!….thats something i think that like. did something to me. like. getting into tf2 shaped my entire taste and outlook in a way. like. older ppl. older ppl swag is what i learned and all of them r so distinct and have their own silhouettes and outfits and AHGHGHHH its literally art to me….but ig if i HAD to choose its a tie btween heavy and demo

37- What is your favorite update? ok i have to make it clear i wasnt into the game for the time of the major updates but i think the very start of scream fortress..or ig the haunted hallowe'en special…is my favorite because i LOOVEEE scream fortress i love the halloween maps i love the season!!! I LOVE HELLTOWER MY DEAREST!!!!! I LOVE THE HALLOWEEN SEASON!!!!!! AND AUTUMN!!! …but other than that i think love and war is another aswesome one

#TY NOT-TORI FOR THE GIGANTIC ASK LMAO ASDUAUDGVBAHDBJJAS #asks #anon #technically. i kno its u but for organizations sake ur anon #owen.file

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juminsmysticmc · 3 years

Note

Been gone for a while, see requests open? Nice. Oh, and can I get the RFA react to an MC who is a game developer?

RFA with a game developer Mc

Hey! of course, here you are! I hope you enjoyed this Headcanon! Please tell me your opinion, okay!

Have a great day!

Jumin

,,It’s a pity that you already have to leave,’’ Jumin said as he walked you to your house.

,,Jumin, you know that we will be married soon! You will see me every day!’’ you chuckled and kissed him on his nose after you typed in your code to open the door.

,,Yes… but it’s 4pm!’’ he added, looking kind of like a baby.

You tried to explain that you still had to get ready for the next day since your investor wanted to see your demo game.

At that point, Jumin’s head was up again with his eyes staring into yours with surprise.

,,You work?’’ he asked you.

,,As what?!’’ he added.

You had to chuckle. Did he think that your bills would be paid by doing nothing?

And so you explained that you were a game developer.

,,I write the storyline myself, the designs are done by me, and, in the end, even some of the programming,’’ you sighed.

,,Okay, I will be your Plan B if they don’t want to pay, okay? And after you live with me, I will make sure to get you some people who work below you to support you!’’ he told you and kissed you, going back.

You still could hear him talking to Jaehee and asking him to send Luciel to him so that he could buy everything he needed to support a game developer.

Zen

Being your boyfriend’s manager and also a game developer was tiring.

But even worse was to hide your second job from him.

It was a lot you had to do, but thank god you just had to do the design and the storyline on your own.

The reason you wanted to hide it was simple: You were working on a game where Zen was the main character.

This had to stay a surprise for him!

And so, months went by without Zen noticing that you were getting busier and busier.

Just when the news spread the rumor that a game was inspired by him, he began to notice that something was fishy.

,,This person has to know me… Maybe Luciel pranked me… These details are way too accurate… Look how handsome I am and how good my habits got described….’’ he praised you, without knowing that he was praising you.

,,It was me,’’ you finally told him, looking into his red eyes as they grew bigger.

,,What?’’ he asked you again.

,,It was me,’’ you repeated ,,I am the one who made this game. I’m a game developer, Hyun,’’ you finally said.

Your boyfriend was overjoyed that someone, his girlfriend at that, got inspired by him.

He was so overjoyed that he actually began to tear up…!

,,Tell me the storyline…’’ he whined a few days later as he read his lines on his phone, hoping you would give him a little spoiler...

Yoosung

The first time both of you were on dates, you tried to get to know each other better.

Both of you already knew a lot about the other.

You knew that Yoosung liked to play LOLOL and that he studied to become a vet.

Yoosung was pretty much interested about you and tried to get to know everything about you.

There was just one thing he never asked: what were you interested in at work?

Yoosung thought, from the start, that you were studying.

He wasn’t sure why, but he simply thought that you wanted to become an assistant just like Jaehee, seeing how interested you were in the RFA and how much you supported Jaehee for the last few months.

However, he got to know about your real degree - three months after dating.

,,Wow, they are using a really good designer, see these details?’’ you asked him, when you first visited him and watched him play LOLOL.

Yoosung looked up at you, question marks all over his face.

,,How do you know that?’’ he asked you.

,,Well, I am a game developer. This is my job,’’ you chuckled.

For a few seconds, it seemed as if Yoosung himself became a question mark.

,,And you didn’t tell me?’’ he asked you, kind of hurt.

,,Well, you never asked me… I thought you already knew or simply didn’t care…’’ you laughed, a bit embarrassed by now.

Yoosung immediately jumped up. ,,NO, OH MY GOD! YOU’RE FAMOUS!’’ he exclaimed.

You laughed hard and tried to calm him down.

Both of you kind of became closer and you decided to bring him to your workplace.

,,This is my best friend, and the CEO, and this is my place,’’ you said to him, after he greeted your friend.

Looking around your workplace seemed like a game room.

You had a beautiful room with posters all over the wall and a lot of computers.

It seemed as if you were the female version of his friend Seven.

Since then, he came to visit you two times a week and observed you working on a new project. Once again, he realized how awesome you were and how lucky he was.

Jaehee

,,That’s an amazing idea!’’ Jaehee nodded, pouring Seven another coffee, who for once, crawled out of his room to listen to the business idea you had.

,,I’m good, but I’m not that good to do it myself. That’s why I would love to have your support, Seven. I need you and I would like to also give you a part of the money,’’ you said.

,,Don’t let it fail! The girls are putting their all into it!’’ Zen warned the red haired boy, as he took a bite of the cake.

The whole RFA, except for V and Jumin, was in the shop, listening to your idea.

,,Again for me,’’ Yoosung begged, making Zen roll his eyes.

,,Okay, you know I’m a game developer and since I started business with Jaehee, I’m now on my own. However, I still want to do what I love, so I want to develop a game related to our shop.

People will work with us in a game and I want them to play the version here in our shop. If they all like it, we will launch it for the whole country!’’ you explained once again. This time, you didn’t use that many words Yoosung wouldn’t understand.

,,I think it’s a wonderful idea. We should also launch a cat game to-’’

,,NO!’’ Jaehee, Zen and you said at the same time, cutting Seven off.

,,I need a few more gadgets. I already got most of them from my old office,’’ you began, facing Seven, who listened to you and read your list.

Jaehee and Zen, as well as Yoosung, decided to leave you both alone.

,,Don’t you think that Jumin would like to invest?’’ Yoosung asked, using the moment to look at his phone and notice that he was way too late.

With a quick ,,Bye!’’ he jumped up, running towards the main street while his bag jumped up and down.

,,He will never change,’’ Zen laughed.

,,Yes, neither will Jumin… and luckily, never will Mc…’’ she chuckled and observed you, explaining to Seven what you pictured in your little head.

Saeyoung

,,Ah, so this is also made by her,’’ Saeyoung mumbled to himself as he played the game you developed.

It’d been a year since Saeyoung met you and managed to save his brother thanks to you.

He still remembered the first time he found out that you were a game developer while trying to do a background check on you.

Ever since then, he saw you as a rival and as the woman who could possibly win at all possible games.

However, a year later he was the one supporting you the most and helping you out, despite being jealous over you being so good.

,,Hello, yes, thank you very much. The virus attack could get stopped thanks to a personal friend. Yes, we are currently working on it… Yes of course! One moment,’’ you said over the phone, putting it away from your ear and telling your fiancé that someone wanted to talk with him and know how he managed to destroy the virus which almost destroyed your whole carrier.

,,Hello, Saeyoung Choi, fiancé of MC, what can I do for you?’’ he said, teasing you as you were rolling your eyes.

,,He is such an idiot,’’ Saeran commented. He was also working with you guys.

And you had to say that it was really helpful to have some people who could support you.

Designing and developing the storyline by now was funnier than earlier, when you had to also programm the game.

,,Okay, here you are, wifey.’’

,,I am still not your wifey, dummy,’’ you teased him and took your phone, changing the application on your phone to the saved pictures, where the current image of your latest project was displayed.

,,Okay,’’ you began, putting your hair behind in a ponytail, ,,Are you guys ready to work the whole night?’’ you asked them and began to let your fingers dance on the keyboard of your computer.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

26.01.2021// 22:13 MEST

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25yearsofcrying · 3 years

Text

Julie and the Phantoms

Summary: Trying my own hand at JATP novelization, using the show rather than the novel or the scripts. I’m sure it’s been done before but there’s never enough Julie and the Phantoms, right? If nothing else, I have an excuse to rewatch every single scene of the show all over again.

CHAPTER 01: we don’t get older

Luke

This is what I’m talking about! The lights we are under are burning hot, we are half sweat and not one of us can keep a single hair in place but we’ve never sounded better. We’re amazing, playing on a proper stage. Our music and lyrics have never felt more true either.

I feel connected. To the guitar in my hands, to the guys in my band, to the music, to the audience.

Tonight, we’re playing the Orpheum. The energy of the place, or perhaps our own excitement, pushes our performance beyond what we’ve ever done before. Despite the sweat we’re drenched in, I feel I could do this for hours.

We ain't searching for tomorrow (tomorrow) | 'Cause we got all we need today (today) | Living on a feeling that's been running through our veins | We're the revolution that's been singing in the rain

But our song wraps up. We finish to a brief applause from the waitress cleaning tables and a few shouts from the Orpheum’s staff and our crew. Tonight, we are playing a sold out concert at the Orpheum, but that’s in two hours.

Reggie, our bass player, still pulls his mike closer and says: “Thank you! We’re Sunset Curve! Tell your friends!” He winks.

I laugh and shake my head. Bobby, the rhythmic guitar, knocks his elbow against mine before we grab our drinks. “Too bad we’ve wasted that on a sound check,” he says. “That’s the tightest we’ve ever played.”

“Wait until tonight, man,” I assure him as I turn to look over the Orpheum. “When this place gets packed with record execs.” This truly feels like the beginning of something new. It’s like I can feel the energy of everyone who’s ever played here before us and I’m living for it. This place makes legends.

Meanwhile, Reggie the eternal cheerleader, focuses his attention on our drummer. “Alex, you were smoking!” he shouts with a bright grin.

Alex, who’s emerged from behind the drums, looks humble and flustered for a moment. He instantly tries to play the compliment down. “Oh no! I was just warming up. You guys were the ones on fire.”

“Could you accept your awesomeness for once?” Reggie doesn’t give up.

“All right,” Alex agrees, red and shy but obviously pleased with himself. “I was killing it.”

It makes me grin and I rub his shoulders in excitement. Despite his insecurities, Alex really was killing it. As always. He might be one of my closest friends, but he wouldn’t be in the band if he wasn’t good. Trust me. I don’t make compromises when it comes to my music.

My names is Luke. Reggie, Alex and Bobby are my bandmates of several years and together we are Sunset Curve. And tonight, we’re going to prove why we live and breathe for music.

But first things first. “I’m thinking we fuel up before the show,” I say. I don’t know about the guys, but I’m starving. “I’m thinking street dogs.”

While Alex and Reggie answer with a chorus of approval, Bobby turns his attention elsewhere. He gets off the stage and heads straight for the waitress who’s showed her appreciation for our music.

“I’m good,” he tells us over his shoulder and to her, he says: “Vegetarian. I couldn’t hurt an animal.”

I roll my eyes but we are all drawn to the conversation. And the waitress – a very pretty Latina – turns to all of us. “You guys were really good,” she says and I beam at her.

“Thank you.” It’s always a wonderful feeling to see people connect with our music. We write all of it ourselves so up on that stage, people see and hear our souls.

“I see a lot of bands. Been in a few myself,” she continues and that makes her initial compliment all the better. “I was really feeling it.”

“That’s what we do this for. I’m Luke, by the way,” I say and the guys all introduce themselves. Bobby shoves himself in front of me when he says his name and I shove my finger in his ear. What can I say? We are brothers, even if not by blood.

“I’m Rose,” she replies, grinning at us.

She must be a little older than us, but even that doesn’t stop Reggie when his eyes light up as he senses an opportunity to promote the band. “Here is our demo…” He hands her a CD with our logo on it. “And a T-shirt. Size beautiful.” He adds a wink again. An opportunity to promote us and to flirt. Beside him, Alex groans audibly.

“Thanks?” Rose seems unimpressed but she adds: “I’ll have to make sure to not wipe the tables with this one.”

To the surprise of no one, words a little too honest tumble out of Alex’s mouth: “Oh, good call. Whenever they get wet, they just kinda fall apart in your hands.” He is not wrong. Our merch is produced on a budget.

Sensing that my awesomeness, Reggie’s forwardness and Alex’s lack of interest are ruining his game, Bobby turns to us with a pointed glare. “Don’t you guys have to go get your hot dogs?”

“Yeah.” I lean to the waitress with a conspiratorial smirk. “He had a burger for lunch.” I’m not trying to wreck things for him, just tease him a little. I don’t think he stands a chance to begin with, but it’s admirable he is trying.

With good-natured slaps to his shoulder, we leave Bobby to his flirting.

jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp

We leave the Orpheum through a back door and I take a deep breath. “That’s what I’m talking about!”

The last time I felt this level of excitement was before our first ever real gig.

Alex throws me a questioning look: “The smell of Sunset Boulevard?” It makes Reggie snort and I shake my head.

“No. It’s what that girl said in there tonight. About our music, all right?” Her words affected me. Not just because she thought we were good when she’s already seen so many other bands and it would take a lot to stand out in her ears. She felt our music. “It’s like energy. Connects us with people. They can feel us when we play.” I throw my arms around Alex and Reggie both and pull them closer. We’ve always had a connection, ever since we’ve started playing together. “I want that connection with everybody.”

They laugh, but I can see that they get it. Even if Reggie replies: “Then we’re gonna need more T-shirts.”

I can’t remember when Reggie became our dedicated promoter, but it’s a role he takes extremely seriously, which makes me think it must have been his idea in the first place. I am more focused on the music itself, on what it feels like to be on stage and play for a crowd that sings back the lyrics I wrote. And Alex, if we let him, would be perfectly content to play for himself in a garage somewhere, even if he clearly enjoys people loving his performances. Reggie is the one with the business sense. He claims that if we want to play in front of crowds, we need to let people know we exist. It hurts me to think our music on its own is not enough, but perhaps he has a point.

He shoves next few T-shirts into the hands of girls waiting in line for our concert. Their excited reaction and their instant recognition of us makes us all giddy, but I pull my hood over my head. No matter what anyone thinks, I don’t do this to be followed around by fangirls. It’s nice, sure, and one of the perks, but it’s when I am on stage that I want attention. Right now, I just want a street dog.

Though, I can’t help but think that Bobby is missing out by staying behind.

Establishments like Sam n’ Ella’s, which serves hot dogs from the back of a rusted car, are our main source of food these days. Most of our money goes into the equipment, transportation between gigs, creation of demos and merch. Between us, there’s not a single set of supportive parents and so the funds are tight to begin with. One’d think we’d be used to our food options by now, but Alex still frowns. “Man… I can’t wait until we eat someplace where the condiments aren’t served out of the back of an Oldsmobile.” We fill our hot dogs ourselves and he is dripping pickle juice all over the car’s insides as he speaks. He goes to apologize to the owner, but the man dismisses Alex’s fears with a laugh. “No problem, it’ll help with the rust!”

I can’t bring myself to care about the quality of food. My heart is still at the Orpheum. It doesn’t matter that we’re sitting on a questionable couch in the street and eating even more questionable hot dogs. “This is awesome, you guys. We’re playing the Orpheum. I can’t even count how many bands have played here and then ended up being huge. We’re gonna be legends!” I rise my street dog like it’s a toast. “Eat up boys. Cause after tonight, everything changes.” We won’t have to choose between food and paying for merch production anymore.

I take a bite and almost shudder. Any food is good enough for Reggie, so he eats his hot dog with gusto, but Alex pulls a face when he tastes his. “That’s a new flavor?”

“Chill, man. Street dogs haven’t killed us yet.”

Trust Reggie to provide the perfect last words.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #jatp fic #luke patterson #alex mercer #bobby/trevor wilson #reggie peters #not tagging our queen julie in this chapter because she's not featured in it and I don't want to clog her tag #my jatp novel

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raleighcarrera · 4 years

Text

daylight

open heart | bryce lahela x mc (casey valentine)

gratuitous ‘there’s only one bed’ bed-sharing for @choicesarehard

~5.8k words | M (18+)

casey barely batted an eyelash at the front desk assistant in the wake of her words, seemingly completely uncaring that their reservation had gotten messed up, somehow, leaving them with only one room booked instead of two. “whatever,” she shrugged, taking one of the proffered key cards and heading for the elevator.

bryce leaned in over the front desk, trying not to panic. “are you sure that’s all you have? can you -- can you check again?”

the receptionist looked pointedly at the line forming behind him. “sir, i’m quite positive. we’re all booked this weekend for the conference.”

“great,” he mumbled under his breath, sighing as he took the other key card and walked off after casey. okay, so they had to share a room. that was fine. that was hardly a big deal. what was the worst that could happen? they’d already seen each other changing at work plenty of times.

besides, the image of her bare shoulders was practically burned into his brain, at this point. he didn’t need a weekend sleepover to fixate on it.

casey was still waiting for the elevator when he strolled over to her corner of the lobby. “sorry,” he said, just as the doors parted for them to step inside, “i don’t know what happened. i guess they double-booked us.”

“it’s not a big deal,” casey answered easily, “as long as you don’t snore. do you snore?”

bryce laughed. he loved how she always effortlessly lightened the mood. “definitely not. how do i know you don’t snore? maybe i should check with trinh.”

“i don’t snore! come on, you know i’m a perfect angel.”

“right.” he bumped his shoulder into hers playfully as they walked down the hallway towards their room. once they found the door that was theirs, casey tapped her key card and let them inside.

she stopped short in the entranceway, so that he bumped right into her. “oh.”

her voice sounded funny. “what?” bryce leaned over to peer around her shoulder, trying to see what she was looking at.

oh was right.

there was only one bed.

it stared conspicuously back at them both as they stood there, staring at it.

“uhhhhh...” bryce started awkwardly, clearing his throat, “it’s cool, i’ll take the floor.”

his words jolted casey to movement, and she stepped the rest of the way inside the room, setting her bag down on the bed. “you don’t have to do that.”

bryce looked at her curiously. “what?”

casey shrugged that same way she had in he lobby -- like none of this mattered to her in the slightest. “we can just share. it’s a king sized bed. it’s huge.”

her casual attitude made him wonder if maybe he was being weird. maybe casey didn’t think this was as big a deal as he did -- though that felt more than a little disheartening. maybe she didn’t think it was a big deal because she didn’t feel the way he felt about her. maybe the thought of sleeping next to him in the same bed didn’t make her pulse race, like it did to him.

...maybe he was overthinking things.

“okay,” he said finally, trying to sound as casual as she did. he shot her a grin before strolling to the window and pulling the curtains open. it was a beautiful, sunny day in san diego, and as he looked out over their view, bryce spared a thought for their poor friends, stuck at home in boston while he and casey were here, representing the hospital.

she stepped up beside him, seemingly reading his mind. “man, those guys at home are suck-ers. i can’t believe none of them wanted to come to this.”

“i know, right?” he leaned his forearm against the window, looking out at the hotel’s pool, down below them. “they don’t know what they’re missing. a couple hours of lectures, and then we’ll have our run of this place. it’s going to be awesome.”

“it’s such a nice day,” casey sighed wistfully, her gaze following his down to the pool. “i wish we had time for a swim.”

he shrugged. “we’ll make time. there has to be something we can cut out of early.”

“i like where you’re head’s at.” she leaned over and nudged her shoulder against his. “i’m gonna go get changed, then we can hit the conference.”

“sounds good.” casey disappeared into the bathroom with her bag, and he looked down at what he was wearing, figuring he should probably do the same.

he was still trying to decide between shirts when casey reemerged. bryce looked over his shoulder at her with a smile. “oh, so it’s like that. i guess i should dress up, too, huh?”

casey seemed -- startled. “what?” her eyes darted around the room. “i guess? i just thought... since we’re here on behalf of the hospital... you know. um, you should get dressed.”

“well, i’m definitely going to get dressed in something. i don’t think the rest of the conference could handle me otherwise.” he grinned at her as he finally reached for a shirt and shrugged it on. casey waited until all his buttons were done up before she looked at him again. her cheeks were suspiciously pink. maybe it was too warm in the room for her. “how’s this?”

she exhaled heavily. “it’s great, we should go.” she turned abruptly and started for the door.

huh. that was weird. bryce followed behind her, jogging to catch up to her at the elevator. “so, what’s the game plan? there’s a presentation i want to get to about some new advancements in surgery at twelve.”

casey’s eyes scanned the show floor. “i think i’ll be okay for a little bit. come find me afterwards?”

“for sure.”

the morning flew by in a blur. when he’d agreed to attend the conference, it’d been mostly because of the free trip to somewhere warm -- that, and casey had already volunteered, and he was desperate for some time alone with her, away from the hospital. but the material that was being presented proved to be more interesting than he’d anticipated, and bryce welcomed the opportunity to zone out and think only about work for a few hours, giving himself free reign to geek out completely over new surgical technology.

he forgot to look for her until late in the afternoon, and finally found her in what looked like a hostage situation with an ancient pharma rep. her eyes were seemingly begging for a rescue -- especially when she noticed him, and they went wide with a silent plea.

bryce pursed his lips to suppress a smile. “hey, dr. valentine!” he greeted, over-enthusiastic as he approached. “long time, no see. what’ve you been up to? we absolutely have to catch up.” he offered the man that was with her his most charming smile.

“of course,” casey nodded. he rested a hand on the small of her back to turn her away, and she went gratefully, pivoting towards the other direction. “if you’ll excuse me.”

he laughed as they hurried away, ducking his head on a grin when casey reached down, grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. “thank you,” she sighed emphatically, “i thought i’d never be able to get out of that. you’re my hero.”

“i try. sorry i didn’t come find you sooner, i got wrapped up in the sickest demo.”

“it’s fine -- i guess i should’ve expected you’d be easily distracted by something shiny.”

“hey,” he laughed, laying a hand over his heart, “your words hurt, you know.”

“sorry.” the smile casey shot him would’ve eased any sting, even if he wasn’t just joking with her. god, she was so pretty. “can we go swimming now? i think i’m tapped on professional talk.”

“you and me both.” he glanced around before they ducked out of the room, but couldn’t spot a single familiar face in the crowd. there wasn’t anyone here who knew them, or anyone who was looking for them. for once, they were... pretty much invisible.

as if she was reading his mind, casey said, “it’s kind of nice being anonymous, right? no one here is looking at me like i’m casey valentine, boston’s biggest medical disaster.”

“no one at edenbrook is looking at you that way, either, you know,” he felt compelled to remind her, “you were cleared by the board. as far as everyone’s concerned, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“i don’t think that’s true as far as everyone’s concerned.” he frowned at her, but casey didn’t clarify, staring thoughtfully out of the glass walls of the elevator as it climbed back to the floor of their room. after a moment, she shook her head. “i’m glad it’s you here with me. there’s no one else i’d rather be anonymous with.”

“hard same,” he said, forcefully ignoring the way his heart leapt into his throat. she was just being nice. she had to be. “now get changed so we can make that swim-up bar wish they never opened.”

by now he was pretty practiced in the art of absolutely not staring at her when she was dressed in anything less than her scrubs and coat, so it didn’t take much for him to tactfully avert his eyes when casey stepped out in her bikini.

most of the hotel occupants were still inside -- the pool was pretty much empty when they arrived. the bartenders almost looked bored. bryce smirked as they dropped their stuff on a couple of chairs and made their way over. that was about to change.

casey ordered them each a shot and then something that he was sure by the name alone contained equal parts of juice and alcohol -- the formula that never failed to give him a wicked hangover. but he didn’t complain, and only shook his head when the bartender placed two hollowed out pineapples with big, fancy drink umbrellas in front of them.

she ignored the juice-nightmare and picked up her shot glass. “to our second year,” she declared, knocking it against his. tequila splashed out over his thumb.

“to our second year,” bryce echoed, lifting the glass to his lips and knocking back the shot. he grimaced as he sunk his teeth into the lime, sucking the rest of the tequila off his fingers where casey had spilled it. “god, those are vile.”

casey smacked her lips together with a shrug. “i like them. want another one?”

bryce laughed. “slow down. by the time you finish this thing, you’re going to be trashed. we’ll see about another shot then.”

“suit yourself.” she shrugged, leaning in over the pineapple and drinking deeply from the straw. “okay, you have to try this. it’s soooooo good.”

predictably, it was cloyingly sweet -- so much so, that he dangerously couldn’t even taste whatever alcohol it was full of. “it tastes like i’m going to have to carry you back to the room later.”

casey’s head tipped back with a laugh. the sight of her smile put an unstoppable grin on his face. he wondered if making her laugh would ever stop feeling like a major victory.

they left the bar and stepped out into the sun with their drinks. casey sat down on the side of the pool, by the steps, and dangled her legs in the water. his eyes were drawn to the way they stretched out in front of her, and he shook his head as he instead waded down the steps and into the shallow end of the pool, up to his waist. it’d probably do him some good to cool off.

“what d’you feel like doing tonight?” she asked, kicking her feet back and forth.

“hmmm. if you’re not passed out by 6:30, i guess i’ll buy you dinner.”

she scoffed indignantly, kicking her foot up so water splashed him in the chest. “hey! i’m not going to pass out. it’s just a few drinks.”

“uh huh.” his voice was flat with disbelief. “out in the sun. on an empty stomach. and you’re, you know -- tiny.”

“i am not.” she kicked both feet this time, splashing him harder. reflexively, bryce’s hand swung out and grabbed her ankle.

“cut it out,” he laughed, “or i’ll dunk you.”

“you wouldn’t dare.”

she seemed very sure of herself. bryce tugged on her leg, just enough to make her slip forward an inch on the side of the pool. he was gratified by the way casey immediately shrieked, twisting in his hold as she tried to wiggle away.

“don’t!”

“relax,” he laughed, drumming his fingers on the bare skin of her calf before reluctantly letting her go, dropping casey’s leg back into the water, “i’ll wait until you finish your drink.”

the only problem was that by the time she finished her drink, casey was starting to get giggly, touchy and loud when she slipped into the water with him and started splashing. she always seemed to have the ability to make him forget absolutely everything on his mind in favor of having fun, and today was no exception. he felt half-drunk just from laughing with her, letting her play at wrestling him in the water until the sun set and they started to get cold.

“c’mon, michael phelps,” he said finally, his gaze fond and affectionate as it lingered on the line of her chattering jaw, “let’s get you upstairs.”

casey leaned on him for support as they made their way back to the room, mumbling sleepily under his arm. bryce made sure to nod along dutifully to everything she said, humming his agreement to keep her placated.

“why don’t you take the first shower? i’ll order room service.”

casey pouted at him as he finally let her go in the doorway to the bathroom. “you’re not coming with me?”

his laugh was high-pitched, caught off guard. “into the shower?”

she nodded. “i need help.”

well... maybe he could just get her situated. he moved further into the bathroom to turn the shower on, reaching for casey’s elbow to help guide her gently into the tub. instantly, she started wrestling with her bikini top, tugging at the straps.

he backed away as quickly as he possibly could. “okay, looks like you’re all set. i’ll be right out here, just call if you need anything.”

the words were exhaled in a rush, and he pulled the door shut behind him with finality before she could argue. jesus.

somehow, she was even more adorable when she came out of the shower. she was wearing one of the fluffy hotel robes and had her hair in a towel; casey was sunburned across her nose and cheeks. she bounced down onto the bed with a big grin. her eyes lit up when she saw all the food he’d ordered. “oooooh, pancakes!”

this was going to be the longest night of his life. he swallowed, heading to the shower. “yep -- i’ll be right back.”

bryce locked the door, trying not to think about the fact that she’d just been in here, naked -- but it was hard to ignore when he almost slipped on her wet bikini and broke his neck. he glared at his reflection in the half-fogged mirror. get a grip. now.

the shower helped clear his head somewhat. he stayed under the spray for longer than he probably should have, until the water ran cold. the only thing that forced him out was the thought of whatever food casey had left, and eventually, he couldn’t ignore his growling stomach any longer. tucking one of the towels around his waist, he stepped out of the bathroom, wary of the quiet that greeted him.

casey had gotten changed into her pajamas while he was showering, and her hair was out of the towel, now, loose and long and damp across her pillow. empty plates sat around her on the bed. she smiled softly at him when he walked towards his bag to grab something to wear. “i left you the burger.”

“thanks.” it was dark outside, now, so the glow from the tv was the only thing illuminating her. she looked almost unfairly beautiful, and, not for the first time, he wondered how he was supposed to sleep next to her tonight and keep his hands to himself like a good friend would. this sucked.

he ducked back into the bathroom to change, forcing himself not to think too much about it. he could act normal around her -- he’d been getting pretty good at it, actually, back in boston. he doubted she had a clue about the way he really felt -- he’d been careful to keep it that way.

bryce’s pep-talk motivated him enough to make it through his burger, only sneaking glances her way. casey had her eyes on the tv, half-lidded, absently scrolling through her phone on the commercials. she was curled up under the covers, closer to the center of the bed than he thought she’d be. she was dangerously close to being on his side of the mattress.

bryce took his time clearing away everything from their room service order, brushing his teeth, making sure everything was back in his bag -- anything to delay getting in bed. finally, there wasn’t any more avoiding it. he pulled back the sheets on the empty side of the mattress and slipped in beside her.

she rolled onto her side and grinned at him. “hi.”

“hey,” he laughed, trying not to seem as nervous as he felt. “fancy meeting you here.”

casey giggled, the sound morphing into a wide yawn halfway through. “that sun really kicked my ass,” she murmured, rubbing her cheek against the pillow. fuck, it was so cute.

“you’re a lightweight,” he ribbed gently, his eyes lingering on the easy slant of her smile. “you’d never make it out in hawaii.”

her brow furrowed, and she frowned at him. “yes i would,” she argued, sunburned and exhausted, drunk from one pineapple cocktail. a rush of affection for her made the shake of his head fond.

“you should get some sleep. we have a long day of lectures tomorrow.”

she sighed, pushing nearer to the center of the bed. her cheek was resting on the very edge of her pillow, right where it met his. before bryce could stop himself, he rolled in closer, too, until they were just a few inches apart. under the sheets, her hand reached out and lightly rested on his arm.

“bryce...” casey started, her voice hushed -- almost thoughtful. up close, her eyes were very wide and very, very pretty. she leaned in, until he could count every single one of her eyelashes.

unwillingly, his gaze dropped to her lips. before he could stop her, casey closed the last breath of distance between them and kissed him.

fireworks exploded behind his eyelids. bryce shifted on the sheets, leaning into her touch. the hand she had on his arm squeezed encouragingly, and then casey twisted her fingers in the sleeve of his shirt and leaned forward to kiss him harder. for a moment, he let himself give in, greedily swallowing the happy sigh she exhaled into his mouth, kissing her back just as eagerly as she was kissing him.

god, he’d been wanting this. it felt undeniably amazing, like flying -- like excelling in surgery, like graduating med school, like winning at anything mundane that soothed his competitive streak nonetheless. his hand reached up to tangle in her hair as he took advantage of her parted lips, slipping his knee between her legs.

then, alarm bells started ringing off in the back of his mind, pushing through the fog her lips had brought with them. what was he doing?

bryce reached up and pushed her away, breathing hard. casey’s eyes flew open and she stared at him in surprise, her cheeks flushed beneath her sunburn. “what’s wrong?”

his stomach twisted. “you’re drunk.” here she was -- everything he’d ever wanted, presented to him in a way he couldn’t accept. fuck.

“i’m not,” she insisted, but her eyes were glassy. he’d spent enough time with drunk casey to recognize her when he saw her.

“you are,” bryce repeated gently, “so we can’t --”

“look, if you don’t want to --”

she was starting to sound annoyed. he sighed. “i do want to. more than anything, but... not like this, okay? i want you to -- know what you’re doing, if we ever...”

he trailed off, looking away. he’d imagined it a thousand times, in a million different scenarios. he’d given it more thought than he probably should have -- more thought than a good friend of hers would. he’d always assumed that maybe it would happen after a night out where she was still clearheaded enough to be sure, maybe on a weekend they weren’t working -- maybe if he ever bit the bullet and asked her to dinner, maybe after that...

but not like this.

“i know what i’m doing, bryce.” she was glaring at him. in none of the scenarios he’d imagined was she looking at him like that. “but since you obviously don’t want to, i’ll just go to bed.”

his jaw clenched as he bit back another sigh, and he scrubbed his hand down the front of his face with frustration. “casey --”

she abruptly turned around to face the wall, rolling away from him, back onto her side of the bed. “goodnight, bryce.”

right. like he could sleep now.

eventually he managed, somehow, though when his alarm went off he felt like he’d barely slept a wink, groggy and disoriented and annoyed.

he stared at the ceiling as it all slowly came back to him, worsening his headache. he knew without turning his head that casey was still in bed with him, and he privately let himself feel a twinge of irritation at her, for getting so mad at him last night.

it seemed ridiculous that she could ever think he wouldn’t want to kiss her. casey was smarter than that -- she should have known how he felt.

although... he hadn’t exactly told her. bryce’s eyes narrowed up at the ceiling, his annoyance giving way to determination. before he could talk himself out of it, like he had so many other times before in the interest of preserving their friendship, he turned towards the center of the bed. bryce reached out and shook casey’s shoulder until she opened her eyes.

“what? i’m up, what?”

“are you sober?”

“huh? i’m hungover, if that’s what you’re asking --”

he closed the distance between them, cutting her off with a kiss. casey stilled against him, and for a moment he felt delirious with panic, the sound of his heartbeat abnormally loud in his ears. fuck. fuck. fuck. you’re an idiot. you fucked it all up.

of course she’d only kissed him last night because she’d been drunk. now things were going to be weird -- and they were friends, and he loved hanging out with her -- and everyone else was going to know things were weird --

casey shifted against the sheets, pressing her lips more firmly to his. she started to kiss him back, sighing sweetly into his mouth. her hands rested gently on his shoulders and she pulled him closer, lining up her body against his.

somehow this felt even more panic-inducing, ratcheting his pulse up further. he’d kissed a lot of girls before, but none of them had ever made him feel like this.

his hand laid hesitantly on her waist, his touch carefully light. but he kept kissing her back, slowly moving his lips against hers. after a moment, she reached down and pushed his hand up under her top confidently, until his palm brushed against the bare skin of her stomach.

bryce jerked forward in surprise, but recovered easily enough, deciding to roll with the punches. his hand moved around to her back, pushing her shirt up, and he nudged her in closer until she shifted to throw a leg over his waist; casey’s fingers ran through his hair, pulling him effortlessly out of his own head.

he let her roll on top of him, welcoming her happily into his lap. she leaned down until their chests were pressed together, kissing him more forcefully -- more like the way he’d always imagined she’d kiss, headstrong like she did everything else.

she gasped against his lips when his fingertips dragged up her spine, and that was what finally made him break apart from her. he opened his eyes to meet hers. “are you okay?”

“yeah,” she confirmed. her eyes swept his face like she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. “are you sure you want to --”

he leaned in and cut her off with another kiss, the movement of his lips softer this time to match how tender he felt towards her. she swatted playfully at his shoulder.

“stop doing that.”

“sorry,” he said unapologetically, smiling. “yeah, of course i’m sure. i’ve wanted to do this for -- pretty much forever. i just wanted to be sure that you were sure. and last night...”

“don’t.” casey shook her head. she bit her lip on a smile. “i get it. and i appreciate it. i didn’t mean to get pissed at you. it just felt like... you were turning me down.”

“do you think i’m that stupid? i know you give me a lot of shit for my pretty face, but there is actually a brain up here.” bryce grinned unabashedly up at her, gratified by the way she laughed.

“i mean -- i guess i kind of always thought maybe... you liked me, but... i don’t know! sometimes it seemed you were like that with everyone, or you were just being friendly...” her voice trailed off, and she shrugged.

he shook his head. “it wasn’t for everyone. it was just for you.”

the sound she made had him feeling warm all over. casey ducked her head, her hair obscuring the expression on her face -- which just wouldn’t do, so he lifted his hand to brush her hair behind her ear, instead, cupping her cheek until she met his eyes.

casey trailed her fingers over the fabric of his t-shirt, making him shiver. “if we don’t start getting ready, we’re going to be late.”

he knew she was right. still... “i don’t care.”

she huffed out a laugh, drawing circles over his chest with the tip of her index finger. “i care. everyone’s going to grill us on what we learned when we get back on monday. we’ll need something to tell them.”

“we can make it up,” he suggested desperately, reaching for her hips to keep her exactly where she was. “check out the online highlights on our flight back. there has to be a summary somewhere.”

“bryce,” she chided, but it looked like she was wavering. he craned his head to press a kiss to the underside of her jaw, slowly moving down her neck. casey sighed breathlessly, tilting her head to the side. “bryce.”

“what?” his mouth moved slowly over her skin, down towards her collarbone. “i’m not doing anything.”

“right,” she sighed, obviously considering his suggestion. she was quiet for a moment, as his lips trailed dangerously low toward the neckline of her tank top, and then she pushed his head away. “c’mon. we’ll pick this back up later.”

he squeezed her hips one last time before she slipped away. “promise?”

casey reached for one of the pillows beside him and whacked him with it before she jumped off the bed. “promise, now hurry up! we’re going to be late.”

they weren’t. they made it into the first lecture with about ninety seconds to spare, slipping into the back of the audience and taking the last two seats together.

he tried his best to focus on whatever the expert was saying, but it wasn’t as easy as he’d hoped when casey’s promise kept coming back to him. we’ll pick this back up later.

bryce spent most of the day fidgeting restlessly, bouncing his leg, tapping his fingers on his knee, trying to find excuses to touch casey whenever possible. it was almost impossible to think about anything else, other than what she might’ve meant by this and when they could get to later.

his impatience only got worse when a group of other residents their age invited them to a happy hour and casey grinned widely, like she had no other plans or no where else to be. “sure, sounds fun! we’ll see you over there.”

as he tugged her towards the elevator, she looked at him in confusion. “why are we going upstairs? do you want to change or something?”

“or something,” he mumbled, glancing pointedly at the other people waiting for the elevator and then back to her, his gaze heavy with intent.

he could see the moment she caught on, realization dawning across her expression. casey ducked her head on a wide grin as the elevator climbed to their floor.

as soon as the doors opened, bryce grabbed her wrist and pulled her through the crowd. “excuse us.”

casey laughed as she stumbled out after her. they both rushed down the hallway to the door of their room, and bryce tapped his key card as quickly as he possibly could, turning around once the door was open to pull casey inside.

she bounced up on her toes to kiss him, throwing her arms around his neck. his hands settled at the small of her back and lifted her up until she was close enough that he could kiss her hard, groaning against her lips.

the door swung shut behind them with a bang. bryce ignored it, walking them both over to the bed. he laid casey down gently onto her back and crawled over her without separating their lips, as close as he could get.

casey was tugging insistently at the collar of his shirt. he huffed a laugh against her lips, breaking away to move his mouth down the side of her neck he hadn’t yet explored. “impatient?”

“you have no idea,” she mumbled, seemingly focusing all her attention on undoing the buttons of his shirt. “it feels like i’ve been thinking about this for forever.”

“you?” he demanded, laughing incredulously. “please. if you could spend even one minute inside my head...”

his voice trailed off meaningfully. casey’s head tipped back against the mattress, shooting him a heart-stopping grin. “oh, yeah?”

“yes.” he had no idea how he could ever begin to articulate the way he felt to her -- how much he liked her, how smart, beautiful, cool and passionate he thought she was -- how much time he spent thinking about her exactly like this and a number of other ways, too, asleep in his arms and waking up to kiss him good morning and sneaking off in the hospital with him to hook up somewhere quiet...

so he’d have to show her.

in the morning, he woke up much the same way as the day before -- disoriented, a little grumpy, a little confused -- but also wholly different.

casey was asleep soundly in his arms, her back against his chest. his face was buried in the space between her neck and shoulder, her hair tickling his face and filling his nose with the scent of hotel shampoo.

she was naked.

his life rocked.

bryce hid his smile in her hair and let himself fall back asleep. when he woke again, it was because casey’s alarm was going off, reminding them they had to leave for the airport, soon.

she groaned. he pressed a kiss to the back of her neck, nuzzling her bare skin. “morning, you.”

“morning.” casey sighed, turning over in his arms to face him. “do we really have to go?”

he pressed the briefest kiss to her lips. it was over too quickly. “yeah. but if we hurry -- we can probably fit in a shower first.”

“mmmm.” casey kissed him again, running her hands over his bare shoulders. “you mean... if we saved time and showered together, right?”

“duh.”

he didn’t start getting nervous until they were actually on the plane. casey kept him pretty distracted up until then -- pulling him into the shower, joking with him through security, buying him breakfast once they made it to their gate. he let himself get caught up in how right it felt to hold her hand and kiss her whenever he wanted and be on the receiving end of those sweet, private smiles she kept sending his way, and forgot to panic about what would happen once they were back in boston until they’d left the ground.

he couldn’t help but to think about it now, though. a glance at casey confirmed that it hardly seemed like anything was on her mind at all -- she was eating a chocolate bar slowly, breaking it off, square by square. there was a celebrity tabloid in her lap that she hadn’t opened yet.

bryce gently nudged his shoulder into hers. “hey.”

“hey,” she returned easily, looking up at him with a smile. “something on your mind?”

he blinked. “actually -- yeah.”

casey laughed. “i could hear you thinking. it sounded painful.”

there she was again, making him laugh -- distracting him from his own wild thoughts, getting him out of his head and lightening some of the weight on his shoulders. “shut up.”

“seriously, what is it? you can tell me.”

he drew in a breath. “it’s just -- i guess i’m just thinking about what’s going to happen... when we get home. with us.”

“oh.” she seemed to consider it for the first time. “well -- i guess it’ll probably take everyone awhile to stop making fun of us. but we don’t work together much, so i can’t imagine we’d have to tell anyone at edenbrook. uh, why are you looking at me like that?”

he was stunned. “i just -- i guess i didn’t expect you to say that. i’m obviously -- thrilled, don’t get me wrong, but... are you sure you don’t want some time to think about it first?”

casey shrugged. bryce watched as she finished her chocolate bar and dusted off her hands. without hesitating, she reached over and grabbed his hand, linking their fingers together. “i don’t need to,” she answered simply. “i know this is what i want. do you?”

he nodded, letting the awe and admiration he felt for her in that moment show plainly on his face. “yes,” he answered, “this is -- perfect. even better than i’d imagined.”

“good.” she leaned her head on his shoulder, looking out the window. bryce followed her gaze, watching the clouds as they passed them by. “‘cause you’re gonna have to get used to it. dating me is going to be an experience.”

he laughed, squeezing her hand again before slumping down in his seat, finally able to relax. “you and me both, babe.”

#yes i ripped this exact plot point from the game and what about it #bryce lahela #bryce lahela x mc #open heart #casey valentine #bryce x mc #bryce x casey #bryce lahela x casey valentine #myfic #we love bed sharing !!#thanks choices sleepover saturday for reminding me how much i love this trope

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danganronpadespairtime · 4 years

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Update with more transparency

Hello. This is a longer update post for those who are interested in the details of what's going on with this project. Optional read.

Updates I try and make a little update once a month. Since I would rather save most content for the actual release, I don't usually have a lot to say. But I'll try and make up for that silence today by being more transparent with the development in this post.

For those who may be concerned that the radio silence on my end indicates a lack of progress, don't worry, because I promise that I am working on DRDT constantly.

Progress Progress is 73%. The projected release is still fall, but as always it may get pushed back because there's a lot of things that I need to figure out how to do. The daily life and investigation are for the most part finished, and I'm about 1/4th of the way into the trial. Although making the trial is a lot slower than the daily life so I'm expecting slowdown.

If you ever want to check what the progress is, I keep a little bar updated here.

The episodes ended up a bit longer than I expected, around 20 minutes each. The trial parts may be even longer..? In addition, I think the update schedule will be 2 episodes per week instead of 1 like I had originally planned.

Voice acting The voice actors have all exceeded my expectations and it's an honor to be working with such amazing talent! You may have noticed in the casting call that I said that I would only use voice clips and trial interjection lines. However with the VA's permission I have upgraded that a tad to include some voiced lines for some CGs and important scenes. The trial is not fully voiced. Minigames are not voiced either.

Prologue (and other older things) Personally I think that chapter 1 is much improved from the prologue in terms of art, writing, video quality, and everything else, so look forward to that if you had any qualms with the prologue.

The text speed in the prologue was too fast, so I made it slower and easier to read in this chapter. I also (for the most part) stopped using music from the Danganronpa games.

The trial UI has been fixed up a little from the "demo" video as well.

Discord (and related things) Despite multiple requests, there is not nor will there ever be a Discord server. In addition I try and keep interaction with others to a minimum. I know it may be strange, but I have my reasons for this. Please understand and respect this decision.

Website I updated the old biography sprites, which is to say everyone has fingernails now. Also, I know that the sprite gallery is a little broken. I plan to totally redo it come chapter 1 with all the new and full-bodied sprites so I'm not going to bother fixing it for the time being.

Conclusion In conclusion, I am working on this.

I know I don't have a lot to say or show during this wait that will keep you entertained, so I appreciate that you stick around nonetheless. It is my great hope that I can finish chapter 1 before summer vacation ends and I have to resume my life's responsibilities, but more and more that seems unlikely. Unfortunately in such a scenario, progress may be delayed by an indefinite amount, but we'll see when we get there. For now I'll keep working as usual.

Big thanks to the proofreaders and the voice actors. Super awesome having these great guys help me out! Check out the credits page (link) for more.

#update #danganronpa #fanganronpa #sneak peak

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luvrpop · 4 years

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advil in the bathroom

source: homestuck pairing: n/a requested: yes tws: over the counter drugs (advil) word count: 1498 synopsis: dave gets an eyestrain headache, and goes on an epic quest for advil extra: shoutout to my discord server buddies for lending me some help with their master rap lyricism

There are some days where things suck.

Those are the days where you stay in your room and no one sees you until dinner, or until you decide that boredom will kill you faster than just sucking it up and hanging out in the presence of other people. You say that you make your best music on those days, although your brothers would probably disagree. To that you would respond that creativity comes from necessity or some shit, and Dirk would tell you that the saying is “necessity is the mother of invention” while Hal explains why that doesn’t apply to your situation at all. They’ll still listen to your demo at 3 AM that night, and they’ll still tell you that they like it. You know they might be lying just a teensy bit, but it’ll still boost your ego.

But not every day is like that.

Your name is Dave Strider, and today actually hasn’t been that bad.

You’ve been playing Minecraft with your friends all morning, which is one of your favorite things to do. You finally proposed to your best friend June, who doubles as your minecraft-gf-now-fiance, and the realm has been busy with wedding preparations. It’s been the ultimate will they won’t they of the century, and Roxy had been bothering you non stop about “putting a ring on it” for forever. Rose is going to be your best man, naturally, and Jade is going to be June’s. Dirk’s going to be the officiary. Hal spawned 64 diamond hoes as a wedding gift. It’s going to be fuckin’ awesome.

For now, you turn off your computer and push away from your desk. You rub the bridge of your nose, hoping to stave away a headache from staring at your computer for so long that you know is inevitable. Rose has offered to buy you blue light tint shit for your shades, but you’re not interested in fucking up the lenses like that. Plus, you’re no bitch. You suck it up and head out to the kitchen like always, to rummage through the junk cabinet for an Advil or something. Hal is already seated at the island, reading something. He looks up when you enter the room, and you both nod in greeting.

June asked you once if it’s weird for you to have a robot for a brother. You had replied that you already had a robot for a brother so it’s no big deal, but you both knew that you weren’t serious. On top of it being sick as fuck to be able to say that your big brother is a super genius who built a super genius AI and then a fully functioning body for said AI, you just really like the guy. Plus, he helps keep things organized. Without him, you’d never know where anything is. Dirk isn’t messy, really the opposite. He’s very particular about where things go. The problem is that his idea of where welding supplies go is in the cabinet next to the fridge, where you adamantly believe dishes should be. And so on.

After a minute or two of fruitlessly searching for pain relief, Hal finally speaks.

“What are you looking for?” He asks, not looking up from his book.

“Advil,” you say, shoving receipts and a neti pot back into the cabinet.

“I see. Check the bathroom.”

“Why?” The fuckin’ cabinet won’t close. “It’s always been in here.”

“Dirk was on a reorganization campaign this morning. You really missed out, dude.” He responds, watching in a bemused fashion as you do mad mental gymnastics to figure out how to stack empty inhaler boxes in a way that will let the cabinet door close.

“Yeah, okay, cool, but like-” You have to pause to catch the bottle of Pepto Bismol that you should have known wouldn't fare well on top of a bunch of empty boxes. “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it or whatever. Now I’m gonna die of eye strain, man, and Dirk’s gonna laugh at my funeral.”

“You know that saying doesn’t apply to him.” Hal says, and you know he’s right. Dirk’s more of an “if it ain’t broke, fix it weekly as to assure it remains unbroken” sort of guy. You snort, and finally get the door closed. Hal pats your shoulder (awkwardly, because the guy doesn’t understand physical affection for the life of him. You appreciate the gesture anyway.) as you walk by, and you begrudgingly make your way to the bathroom. The door is locked when you get there, and you jiggle the handle, just to be obnoxious

“Dave, I’m going to kill you if you don’t stop jiggling the doorknob,” Dirk snaps from the other side of the door.

You snort, and jiggle more aggressively.

“Dave.” “I have a headache.”

Dirk makes a sound that is halfway between exasperated and confused. “I- Okay?”

“A big dumbass moved the Advil into the shitter, and I have a headache. So hurry up or unlock the door,”

“Dude.”

“Unless you’re taking a shit. Are you taking a shit, Dirk?”

Silence.

“Dude, el mayo.” You can see Dirk’s face scrunch up at that. He hates you and Roxy’s incessant need to say acronyms out loud in stupid ways in your head. “Why’d you even move it? Did you just wake up randomly thinking: 'Hey, I know what I'll do! I'm just gonna obliterate Dave’s afternoon by holding his salvation hostage and then shitting near it? That’s really fucked up, man,”

“I don’t know how to tell you this, but the cabinet in the bathroom is literally called a medicine cabinet. This was inevitable.”

You kick the door half heartedly before stalking back into your room. You know he’ll bring you the medicine when he’s done, but you feel the tingles of a fire track coming on.

Fifteen minutes later, after turning down the Advil and locking yourself in your room, you’re convinced you’ve got the hottest shit since the meteor shower that killed the dinosaurs, headache long forgotten. You usher Dirk and Hal into the cramped bathroom (it takes a while to get them to comply, but you assure them that this shit will be legendarily mind blowing. And really, who could resist that?), and Hal calls sitting on the toilet lid. You’re obviously standing in the shower, so that leaves Dirk to sit on the floor.

“Couldn’t we have done this in the living room?” Dirk complains, interrupting you as you go to start the backing track (it’s the Minecraft opening theme, with some shitty bass over it.).

“It’s atmospheric, Dirk.” Hal replies, shaking his head.

“Yeah, duh,” You agree. “Now shut the fuck up, I’m about to take you to school.

Check it. Yo, I’m chillin’ on the comp but my head starts splittin’ Messin’ with my game, and fuckin’ up my sittin’ It’s bad, it’s mad, like an angry dad But it ain’t nothin’ compared to the rhymes that I’m spittin’

So I log out, get up, and leave my room My head’s killin’ me, I’m dyin’, y’know I gotta zoom Roll up into the kitchen, I’m cryin’, tearin’ out my hair So imagine my surprise when that shit ain’t there

Who the fuck locked my Advil up in the shitter? The fuck is your problem, I’ll vague you on Twitter I got a hundred followers, you forgot that I’m famous, They’re willing and ready to tear you a new anus.”

You’re about to continue creaming these suckers, but Dirk cuts you off before you can.

“Okay kiddo, I hear you, good god, sit down Is this bathroom a circus? Cause you’re actin’ a clown

I’m so sorry to tell you- Even Hal can attest- I’m so sorry for shitting This bitch has got IBS

I’ll spare you the details- My shit’s soaking wet- But may I remind you? That’s a medicine cabinet

So before you go cryin’ ‘I’m dying, I’m dying!’ Just study my flow, Cause that shit’s inspiring”

Oh, hell no. Not in your bathroom. Time to go fucking crazy.

“Eyes wildin’, I’m freestylin’ I’m crushin’ cube bitches, I’ll minecraft you some stitches Relief should be accessible, Otherwise that shit is unethical,

So you better say you’re sorry For puttin’ my drugs above the potty,”

This time, it’s Hal interrupting Dirk.

“Firstly, Dave, shawty, That don’t rhyme with potty To pay for these lessons? You’ll need a scholly

Your flow is vile, shit’s juvenile I think I’ve heard better from Terezi’s reptile

You’re frying my circuits, This shit is trash If I was organic, you’d give me a rash

I’ve got something to say, I’ll say it concisely: Shut the fuck up! I’m not asking nicely,”

Well shit. Hal’s got it on lock. You and Dirk groan, and the song ends. Hal always gets the last word.

The three of you will argue for the rest of the night over who wons (you did, obviously), and you’ll have a shitty microwaved dinner.

Today wasn’t so bad at all.

#modmori #homestuck #i really took the request and ran #anonrequest #sorry for any mistakes i didnt have someone else edit this #dave strider #dirk strider #hal strider #lilhal #hal

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yukidragon · 7 months

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Sunny Day Jack - Ian's Theme Song for Sunshine in Hell

I think I found the perfect theme song for Ian in Sunshine in Hell. It might fit him for other peoples' HCs and the game as well.

The title is a little misleading for the theme of the song, and at first, when I only noticed it for its title, I was thinking it might be good to add to the playlist I'm working on for Alice. (You can check it out here, but know that it's still a work in progress.) "Let me let you go" is a phrase that fits Alice so damn well. She is trying so damn hard to let Ian go, but he won't let her.

Which is why this song fits Ian scarily well once you hear the lyrics.

(Go, oh, go) Why'd you let me let you go? Bullets in the dark Shootin' through my hesitating heart We were never gonna go far 'Cause I'm no good at loving someone as good as you Look what I put you through I know I can't undo this I'm black and blue to tell the truth It's breakin' me, I'm not just losin' you I'm losin' what you saw in me Why'd you let me let you go? I can't breathe without you here I wish you'd never watch me leave Why'd you let me let you Go, oh, go Why'd you let me let you go? 強がって一言も言えなくて [I was too strong. I couldn't say a word.] 何も伝えれなくて [I didn't know what to say.] 君はもういないけど今なら言える [I know you're gone, but I can tell you now.] 気付くのが遅すぎるこんな僕を許して [I know it's too late. I'm sorry I'm like this.] I'm black and blue to tell the truth It's breakin' me, I'm not just losin' you I'm losin' what you saw in me Why'd you let mе let you go? I can't breathe without you here I wish you'd never watch me leave Why'd you let me let you Go, oh, go Why'd you let me let you go? I tried, I tried to love you I swear I tried But how can I love you if you're not here? I tried, I tried to love you I swear I tried I tried, I tried to love It's breakin' me 君を失った僕はどうしたらいい? [What am I supposed to do now that I've lost you?] Why'd you let me let you go? I can't breathe 他は何もいらない君だけでいい [I don't need anything else. I just need you.] Why'd you let me let you Go, oh, go Why'd you let me let you go? Go, oh, go (Oh, why did you let me let you go?) (Oh) Why'd you let me let you go? (Go)

The lyrics are self-depreciating and full of longing, but also placing the blame on the person being longed for. "Why'd you let me let you go?" This is a feeling that I can see Ian having towards Alice in regards to letting him leave for his fancy school when he needs her. He would never have cheated if he wasn't gone and missing her. Sure, would've been giving up on his dream and settling for a domestic life with her instead, but at least they would be still together. Right?

Credit to the awesome Sauce for this gorgeous cropped picture, which you can see un-cropped in all of its NSFW glory over here. Credit to them for the other pictures I might use as well for this ramble. Why not consider checking out the rest of their beautiful work or support them and the rest of the SnaccPop Studios team over on their patreon? There's a whole bunch more spicy pictures to see if you sign up!

As you can see from instances like this, and from what we've seen in the demo, Ian's self-esteem is rock bottom. He can't handle being alone. He depends on his partner, his childhood friend, and without them, even just in a different room, things feel too big and empty for him to handle.

Ian was so pessimistic about everything, even their relationship. He didn't even think Alice(/MC) would want someone like him in the first place. It was clear since the beginning when he finally got the nerve to ask her out after crushing on her for years.

As I've gone over extensively in many previous rambles about Ian, such as the one about why he might have cheated, he had an abusive home life. He was bullied by his peers. He knows full well that he's flawed and wounded. "I'm black and blue to tell the truth" fits him so well.

What makes the breakup even worse is that, in a way, Ian wound up giving Alice reasons to not want to be with him. She constantly had to reassure him that he was worthy of love, of being loved by her, despite him feeling so sure that he wasn't worthy, that he couldn't be a good enough partner. It never sunk in. He couldn't stop seeing himself as weak and unworthy. Nothing she said could convince him, but he admired her even more for always trying. He wound up proving his fears to be true when he cheated and finally destroyed her faith in him.

For as low as Ian saw himself, he was happy that Alice always saw so highly of him. Now... she's seen him at his worst. He tried, he really did, even though he knew he was "no good at loving someone as good as" her. He admired how she could see the beauty in him that he couldn't see for himself. He wanted to be the person she saw... and he destroyed that image of himself in her eyes. "It's breakin' me, I'm not just losin' you, I'm losin' what you saw in me."

Why did Alice have to encourage him to leave her behind? Ian can't help but lament it during those lonely nights at his fancy school full of strangers. How could she stand watching him leave her behind when his new dorm was so big and empty, his bed so cold and lonely without her to hold him at night. If only she asked him to stay, he would have, no question.

But she let him go. Alice was always so strong. How could she be so strong without him when he felt so weak and lonely without her? In his weakness, he clung to someone he shouldn't, and he lost her for good. He tried to be strong on his own, but he wasn't. He showed her just how weak he truly was, and he lost her.

Alice might be strong enough to let him go, but Ian isn't. He can't let her go. Nights are colder and emptier than ever now. How could she leave? She forgave him - she said she did, but she left. She insisted they both needed space to heal, to live life independently so that they could grow stronger, for a chance to reconcile, but her goodbye felt so final. Now she's not answering any of his calls, texts, messages, or anything. This can't be the end.

"But how can I love you if you're not here?" Being so alone is why Ian strayed. He needs her love, her strength, her support. Without it, he's even weaker. He became a person he can't even recognize, someone he hates, someone who would do something as disgusting as cheat.

How can Ian prove to Alice how much he loves her and how sorry he is if she's not here with him? He knows what he did, what he put her through. He knows he can't undo any of the awful mistakes he made, but how is he supposed to make things better without her?

How could Alice let Ian leave? How can she let him go so easily? How can she be so strong when he feels so weak? It's like he can't even breathe without her. He needs her so badly. He can't let her go. He can't be the best version of himself without her. That version of him, the man he always wished to be, only existed in her eyes, in the love she had for him and the way she helped him grow into a better person.

Ian won't let Alice go, and he won't let her let him go either. He's not strong enough. He tried so, so hard to love her right, and he won't he give up no matter how many times he fails, no matter how many apologies he has to give her. He'll keep trying. He'll try to be stronger, better, to make sure she can never leave him again, make sure she will never want to let him go again.

But Ian can only feel strong when Alice is with him, when she loves and supports him.

Ian is breaking without her, without the first person to show him love and shine a light in his empty, cold, and broken life. He needs her. He's weak, wounded, and worthless. He never learned how to live without her. He doesn't want to. He tried and he hated who he became.

Ian can't let Alice go, even if it winds up breaking them both.

On a totally unrelated note, Jack and Ian have a lot in common, don't you think? It's kind of like looking into a funhouse mirror, isn't it?

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Sauce-y Art

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wethepixies · 4 years

Photo

Welcome to the third and final part of our staff interview series! This set of interviews focus on some of our most social staff members - our Discord moderators and our social media team. Once again, these pixies had a lot to say, so we’re tucking all of it under the “Keep reading” link!

WTP’s Discord server is the main place for the community to come together - in fact, we just passed 6,000 members! It’s extremely important to keep the server as safe and friendly as possible, and that’s where our beloved moderators come through. Without them, we wouldn’t have the loving WTP community!

Our moderators are Lila Almondpetal, Gloria Flutterflower, Daphne Moonflower, Anastasia Foxheart, Rose Morningmist, and Kassie.

What are some of your favorite memories about the original Pixie Hollow? And what are some things that you’re excited to see again in WTP?

Daphne: If I had to choose only one favorite thing then it would be shopping in Pixie Hollow especially those GORGEOUS gowns from the Queen's Boutique. It was the luxury store of Pixie Hollow, and the gowns they had were on a whole different level. I used to play Pixie Hollow every day as a kid and I even convinced my dad to get me the annual membership. I was able to make a lot of friends from different parts of the world because of the game. My best memories of the game are of Camp Pixie Dust! As for what I’m excited to see in WTP, I am exhilarated about the Tearoom and Animal Derby coming back since those were the only places you could play with other players. They were always packed with other fairies and sparrowmen and I used to hang out in those two places the most.

In her interview, Daphne sent us some pictures of two of her favorite things in Pixie Hollow - a couple of screenshots of Camp Pixie Dust and her favorite gown from the Queen’s Boutique.

Anastasia: Honestly? As a kid, I spent most of my time attending the parties. The minigames there were always so addicting! Gameplay wise, I loved baking and tailoring! I wasn't as invested in it as other Disney MMOs because I never was able to get a Pixie Hollow Membership, but I still loved to play it! It influenced my decision to play the DS games, as well as the Fashion Boutique mobile game! I will say that my love of the original Pixie Hollow has benefited my life in many ways as without it, I wouldn't have so many memories with friends I've made along the way. Also, I would've never found WTP! I think one of my best memories from Pixie Hollow has to be from the one party where I won almost all of the party games. I was pretty young when I was really into Pixie Hollow, so although it's a bit silly, I just remember feeling super proud and feeling like the queen of the party, haha! As a kid, I never really appreciated the quests (although I did do them), so I am excited for those to come back & relive that experience. However, since WTP will not have a paywall for any of the experiences from the original Pixie Hollow, I am incredibly excited to explore The Wilderness for the first time!

Lila: My favorite part of the original game was honestly how open and free it was! There was always so much to do in the game, but I never felt pressured to do any of it if I didn't want to. I could go crazy one day playing games and doing quests, and then I could spend the next day flying around, just admiring the scenery and doing absolutely nothing in terms of progress. There were no obligations at all - I think that's why I remember the game so well. I was also really invested in it - I actually kept a journal about what I did in the game, can you believe it? I would say it's made my life better in a couple of ways - when the game was still open, it was a fantastic stress reliever, and even now I love thinking about it (plus, it led me to WTP!). As for my favorite memory… well, there are so many! I'd have to say my favorite was the time a Sparrow Man and I flirted in the Tearoom using nothing but those preset Speedchat phrases. I don't know who started it, but I'm pretty sure we were both non-members at the time - maybe we were drawn together by those Arrival Day outfits. We ended up drawing a crowd; I remember seeing a lot of clapping emojis and hearts. It was insane! Sadly, we forgot to add each other as friends, so we never saw each other again. I just got out my old journal to check if I wrote down his name - and I apparently did! Figfig, my guy, if you’re out there, I was either Twilight Olivemist or Karina Lightningflame at the time. As for what I’m excited for, I'm super excited for all of the meadows to come back! I loved just flying around and seeing all of the gorgeous artwork. And multiplayer, of course - Pixie Hollow was such a social game. I loved those little things like sitting on a branch and chatting.

Gloria: My favorite part of the original game was definitely the community aspect! I made a lot of friends in Pixie Hollow that were really special to me. It was so much fun to play games and throw parties with other pixies in the Hollow! I played the original game from January 2009 to its closing in 2013. I was really invested in the game and played very often! It definitely helped me embrace my inner child and hold onto magic longer than a lot of my peers, something I am grateful for. One great memory I have of the game was the events. I specifically loved the Silly Days Event, which allowed users to access the Mermaid Grotto. And Camp Pixie Dust, of course! For WTP, I am super excited for questing! It was a really unique experience every time and led to neat storylines which allowed players to unlock some cool items. I really liked the added structure of quests in game.

Rose: I was mildly obsessed with Pixie Hollow for a good majority of my childhood. I was picked on quite a bit when I was younger, so Pixie Hollow became this sort of safe haven for me, where I could express myself without fear of judgement. I spent a lot of my time roleplaying with online friends, pretending to be waitresses in the Tearoom, or secret agents fighting crime and protecting the Hollow – it was a lot of fun. Some of my first ever story ideas came from some of those roleplays, which lead to me starting a blog and later pursuing a career as an author, so I actually owe a lot to the game and the friends I made there. My favorite thing was probably decorating my home – I loved creating different settings with all the furniture I had, from cafés to ice palaces. It was a lot of fun. I'm super excited for multiplayer – I’ve made so many friends through the PBC (Pixie Blogging Community) and WTP, so I can’t wait for when we can hang out in-game.

Kassie: I played Pixie Hollow starting in late 2008 until it closed! Every day after school I would grab my snack and head to the computer to play for at LEAST an hour. Narrowing down my favorite part of the game is so hard!! But if I had to choose I would say getting creative with outfits and color combos! I loved going to fashion contests and seeing other people's creations- that's actually how I met a lot of my friends. I think Pixie Hollow benefited me as a way to escape from the stresses of the real world. Middle school and early high school were difficult seasons for me and it was nice to venture into a mystical land where I felt people truly cared for me. One of my favorite memories was when I met my friend Strawberry. We were mutual friends with someone and we both went to her house at the same time. However, our friend was asleep (remember the lil z's?) and so we started talking and suddenly we became the best of friends! Over 10 years later we are still friends and catch up with each other once in a while. We don't live far from each other so we hope to meet each other someday! Honestly, I’m most excited to have house decorating in WTP! I remember people would spend HOURS decorating their homes and doing the coolest designs- I always concentrated more on fashion so I'd love the chance to redeem myself and design an awesome home!

How did you first find out about the WTP project and what inspired you to start working as a moderator?

Kassie: A lot of my close friends started up the project and eventually invited me to be a part of it as a moderator! In our friend group I tended to be the one to mediate conversations, so I think it was a no-brainer to ask me to moderate.

Daphne: When I got to know about Club Penguin rewrites, I thought there might be a rewrite for Pixie Hollow as well and I stumbled upon a YouTube video which mentioned WTP. I really wanted to help out with the project in any way I could so that really motivated me to become a moderator.

Anastasia: I actually found out about the WTP project through Teresa, on another Pixie Hollow site where she first posted the Bubble Bounce demo! She even DM'd me about potentially helping out as an artist, which I've always wanted to do! However, due to my schedule being a bit too busy to consistently help out with game art, I never felt like I could apply. However, I've always tried to help out in other ways, such as when I was an Event Manager & hosted movie nights! When it was decided that movie nights were going to take a hiatus, I really wanted to continue helping out in the community, and thus, I became a mod!

Lila: I first found out about We The Pixies when I joined a Club Penguin rewrite. I hadn't thought about Pixie Hollow in years, but then I wondered if someone else had rewritten Pixie Hollow, so I looked it up and found WTP! As for joining the moderation team, I'd been pretty active on the server when the application opened up, and I really loved the community. I figured I'd give it a shot - worst they could say was no, right? Well, I ended up getting the role! It’s been a really great job ever since.

Gloria: I found out about We the Pixies while doing some Google searches and checking out the Pixie Hollow community this year. I definitely jumped at the opportunity to apply to be a moderator because I have so much passion for the project and wanted to help out and connect with others who also had interest.

Rose: I found WTP through Phoebe Bumbleflip’s blog – she published a post promoting the remake and the Discord back in October last year. I don’t have any skills that can really help with the recreation of the game itself, but I wanted to contribute in any way I could, which is what inspired me become a moderator.

(Phoebe is a member of the WTP Hype Squad, you can find her blog here!)

The WTP community is mostly positive, but have you ever had instances where you felt like server members weren't being the nicest? If so, how do you deal with it?

Anastasia: Since I'm new to the staff team, I've only ever come across a handful of issues involving the members, and most of them resolve with ease. Typically, directing people to the rules and giving them a warning is enough.

Lila: With so many people in the server, it's not unusual to see something that isn't so friendly - usually, if an argument starts up in the chat, reminding people of the rules or starting a new conversation fixes things. If things are really bad, I might talk to someone individually and ask them nicely to be, well, nicer.

Gloria: In my time on the staff so far, we have had a couple trolls and people who haven't complied with the rules, and in that situation, we generally like to calmly message the person and ask them to comply with the server rules. In my experience thus far, this usually sorts out the problem. However, if the issue persists, the moderation team would consult each other and figure out how to deal with it further based on the severity of the behavior.

Rose: They’re very rare, but we have had to deal with some disputes with upset or angry members. Usually us moderators will talk and discuss the issue and then decide the best course of action together.

Kassie: There's always going to be someone unkind who comes across the server every now and then. I think the best way to handle it is to tell them what rule they're breaking and WHY it's important that they adhere to the rule. Ultimately, our rules are about respecting everyone in the community. If we can help them empathize and understand respect I think that's making strides not only in the WTP community but hopefully in EVERY community that individual is a part of.

We've had a few events in the WTP community, how does creating one come about and how do you plan it?

Anastasia: Excellent question! As a former Event Manager, I'm the right Pixie to ask!

It all starts with the approval of administration. Once the admins approve of it (and other staff have no issues with it), you can go forward and begin scheduling a time. We typically don't do events without having a proper schedule or time frame. We also try to accommodate other time zones as best as we can, since we know that WTP has Pixies from across the globe! Then, you need to designate certain responsibilities to people. This was the purpose of the Event Managers, since we were in charge of hosting Movie/Game Night. I have a lot of good memories hosting movie nights with Alchemist (Lavender) and Asteria! With other events, staff members are chosen to have either a leading role or a helping hand in making sure the event goes smoothly. Even if they aren't in charge, it is important to note that all events typically require staff supervision. Now, planning it typically involves a discussion among the staff (and any other WTP players that may be involved in helping out). We usually try to make sure that the community voice is heard, and that they can get involved! Our main goal is always to bring everyone together while having fun, and that is the foundation of all our events.

Daphne: The Hype Squad is the creative mind behind all the events we have. Since we can not have in-game events (which we definitely will once the game is fully developed), the Hype Squad tries to come up with flitterific events to keep us in the pixie hollow spirit while we wait. Our former team of event managers was behind the shorter events such as the numerous game nights and movie nights.

Lila: Starting an event is absolutely a team effort - no matter where or who the idea comes from, we like to talk about it for a while first. For example, I had the idea for Meadow Madness one night out of the blue, and I made sure to run it by the staff and Hype Squad before I started anything up. It ended up being a huge success - we had an average of 200 respondents per round, which was pretty neat for something I came up with in ten minutes.

Rose: There’s quite a bit of planning that goes on behind the scenes for events – a lot of events are actually planned by the Hype Squad (which I am a part of) or our social media team. An idea will be presented by a team member, and then we’ll all discuss it – what our thoughts are on the suggestion, and how we’d go about holding it if it were to become an actual event. If everyone on the team agrees and the staff are okay with it, we’ll then start deciding dates for the event and preparing things like banners and announcement posts. Sometimes we’ll also have one of our members act as coordinator too, to make sure everything is running smoothly during the event itself.

Kassie: I'm personally not one of the head honchos who puts events together, but it comes down to listening to a bunch of ideas and trying to figure out which one best fits the needs and desires of the community!

How do you fit working on WTP into your schedule?

Daphne: I finished high school in April and I can't really start college until quarantine is over, so I pretty much don't have anything to do at home right now so it's easy for me to make time for WTP.

Anastasia: I try my best to moderate whenever I can- usually in my spare time. We get a lot of newcomers each day, so there always seems to be someone who needs help getting verified, or a Pixie who needs some other sort of assistance. That's the thing about having such a large community: we always seem to have some moderating to do!

Lila: I actually have the apps I need for moderation (and social media work) on my phone - now that I'm not in school for the summer, I'm traveling a lot, so I don't sit down and use my laptop very often. I think I use Discord on my phone more than my laptop, actually. Using mobile lets me check the server whenever I have a spare moment, so I can keep up with things wherever I go.

Gloria: I have a really flexible schedule in general as school and life goes, so I am able to make time to moderate and spend a lot of time online.

Rose: Mostly by multitasking – I’m almost always online, even if I’m doing other things, so it’s not too tricky to keep an eye on the server throughout the day.

Kassie: It's hard sometimes, but the easiest way for me to stay connected is to keep my notifications on when I'm not busy with the mandatory things in life like my job, planning my wedding, and investing in relationships outside of the community. Giving myself the chance to walk away here and there leaves me refreshed for the next time I log on!

Two of our moderators, Kassie and Lila, also serve on our social media team, so we asked them a special question:

How do you use social media to grow the community?

Lila: Social media is a great place to post about game updates and community events. I've found that few posts get people more excited than posts about new game features. Update posts also let people know that, yes, we are still up and running! Sometimes people think we've shut down already, and social media helps us keep the project alive.

Kassie: Social Media is all about messages. I think what attracts people to join a community is to send a message they resonate with! In WTP's case, nostalgia plays a huge part in growing our community- we are trying to attract people who are excited about something they wish they had again.

One final question for all of our moderators: what’s your favorite part of your job, and is there a way it’s benefited you?

Daphne: Definitely talking and getting to know so many people from across the globe. I'm always down for making new friends! For me, the most impact moderating for WTP has had is on my people skills. As a moderator, you have to ensure that everyone is following the rules and sometimes people need convincing to follow a rule. It also involves solving any issues related to the game/Discord server and communicating with the members in general, which really develops your people skills.

Anastasia: Honestly, my favorite part of being a mod is being able to interact with the other staff members. They're a really lovely and creative group of people, and it's fun bouncing ideas off of each other and figuring out what's best for everyone in this community! I wouldn't quit WTP for the world! Working for WTP has benefited me a lot as so far, it's helped me work on the ways I can help organize a community. Also, it is helping me work on my time management skills, as well as my ability to work in a team.

Lila: I think my favorite part of my job is, as corny as it sounds, watching this community grow! When I joined, we had maybe 500 users in the server, and we're well over 6000 now. I never thought that so many people would remember the game, but they do. It's remarkable, really. Working for WTP is probably the best volunteer position I've ever taken up. Moderating has really helped me learn how to think things through and get help when I need it. Working on social media has also been great for my writing and graphic design skills - I've got to say that I've gotten pretty good at color combinations!

Gloria: My favorite part of moderating is helping people in the player server and sparking interest and discussion among users. It's so much fun to reminisce about the hollow with other fans. Though I haven't been on the team for a very long time, it has already been lots of fun and I have really enjoyed connecting with the community even more and getting others interested in the revival project. And the other staff members are very cool people that are really rad to work with.

Rose: My favorite part of my job is welcoming new people to the server! Being a moderator has definitely helped with my problem-solving skills – working out ways to handle situations on the server.

Kassie: Being friends with the staff is my favorite part. It is always a joy to log on to laugh and learn with friends. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Asteria and I have created a pretty strong friendship (hopefully she agrees, haha). We've known each other for about 4 years now. She makes me laugh out loud and we've been there for each other in our victories and failures. Her friendship is one I deeply cherish and I hope we get to meet sometime in the future! I care a lot about connection, community, and friendship, so for me, being a part of this team is a way for me to foster those things and be a part of it! I think I've benefited from WTP by learning how to guide hard conversations and disagreements in a respectful manner. Many people think moderators just manage the community, but a huge part of our job is to aid staff in having constructive conversations. There are definitely ruffled wings here and there, but we always get through and I've really grown through those processes!

__________________

Thank you all so much for sticking with us during our interview series! We had a lot of fun answering your questions, and we hope you had a flaptastic time reading them.

#WTP Staff Interviews #we the pixies

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moebial · 4 years

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Now that we're four months out from our Kickstarter campaign for Aquamarine, we've finally finished making and shipping the limited-edition rewards for our awesome backers. But there's still a very small handful left over that we want to make sure go to a good home. If you have any interest in supporting the development of our quiet survival adventure, this is the last month to become a Slacker Backer.

We only have one copy left of the 7" vinyl record (up top) featuring exclusive versions of the soundtrack from Aquamarine's pre-alpha demo, written & produced by our composer Thomas Hoey. And there's only one copy remaining of the printed operations manual booklet (above), which also comes with another printed manual for the final game once it's finished.

We also have a few more of the 11x17" art prints (above), which are printed on thick, high-quality card stock and are easily mounted or framed. Each of the physical rewards are hand-numbered collector's items made in a limited edition and will not be re-printed. And for anyone just interested in supporting Aquamarine with a pre-order & digital rewards, we've got plenty of options to choose from.

During this final month, we're donating 25% of all sales to nonprofit racial justice organization Color of Change. So you can help make a difference in the world, support indie game devs, and get some cool collectibles all at once!

Check out what's available here.

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midyearflowers · 3 years

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ok normally i dont like looking at leaks but i couldnt help myself with age of calamity and so i watched all the cutscenes as a movie and i have thoughts (heavy spoilers ahead obvs)

oooooooohhhhhhhhh my god. look i dont even care that they retconned botw’s canon getting that happy ending was awesome. like yea im disappointed that its more of a fantasy version than what actually happened but also i didnt have to watch all the champions die horribly and alone so i think its a good trade off. it was kinda expected cause the warriors games arent actually direct canon but whatever. im still absolutely gonna get it once i get a switch (god knows when that will be) but im excited for the gameplay. the demo looked fun, and the story is pretty fun too tbh so im gonna love playing it for myself. i definitely wanna check out all the boss fights, especially the final few

the champions of the future coming back in time to help the champions of the past was a great touch and yes i cried like a baby during miphas section. she gets to see her baby brother all grown up :’) also when sidon shows up going “no you cant take her again” my heart shattered. theres definitely a split timeline cause the future champions obviously mean that the real calamity happened, and they acknowledge that in their future the champions are gone (nintendo came to my house and killed me instantly with the zora stuff i swear to god) them then getting sent back to their own future aka the doomed one was kinda bittersweet cause like they get to see and assist in a victory but they dont actually get to keep that happy ending so its like F

the fortune teller dude never got a name i think, but he wasnt too remarkable tbh. there wasnt really any backstory about who he was and how he was related to all this and how he even came to be working with the yiga clan. or how he got a hold of the corrupted egg guardian/how it ended up corrupted in the first place. so that was a little disappointing but since he died at the end im assuming he doesnt have any importance in actual canon so it was probably just “we need a mastermind behind it all and kohga aint it” kohga realizing that he was on the wrong side and joining the good guys was nice imo. after seeing the fortune teller literally rip the fucking souls out of the yiga members (that was fuuuuuucked up) he knew he messed up and had to help stop what was put in motion. i know most people dont like 180s for villains but i like them so.

holy shit this calamity ganon form was so much cooler than the base game!! like damn dude we couldve had it all but instead we got fucking macgyvered frankenstein spider shit. this form looked so much better, it had the signature hooves and was mostly humanoid like ganondorf or bipedal beast ganon. the red hair was there and the way it was styled i got major demise vibes which is awesome, it kinda feeds into the theories of this ganon and what we saw in the sequel trailer

i still hate the king tho. we at least got him admitting to zelda that he was being an ass but the flashback with the egg guardian having been built/repaired by young zelda and shared with her mother then being taken away by the king seemingly right after her mother passed away (basically the equivalent of taking a childs comfort toy away saying “youre too old for this/this is garbage”) and i will never forgive him for that. no amount of apologizing could make up for how he treated her, especially from such a young age after experiencing the death of her freaking mother. like i get youre grieving and have to prepare your kingdom for a huge threat but maybe have some compassion for your daughter? maybe? just a little??

the way zelda awakened her powers in this story was great too. still happened cause she wanted to protect link but her refusing to run and leave him to die so she can live hit right in the feels. despite having no fighting skills or powers she wanted to act instead of run. anyways i love and stan this incarnation of zelda

overall it was a very epic feeling story and im pretty pleased with it despite the changes they made. i knew not to take it too seriously from the start, its just a fun button mashing game where you take out hordes of enemies at once but set in the old hyrule. i cant wait until i can play it for myself

#gwyn tinvaak #age of calamity spoilers

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doomedandstoned · 4 years

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Meet Judd Madden: Melbourne’s Most Prolific One-Man Band

~Interview by Shawn Gibson~

Art by Jeff Smith

How are you doing?

Pretty good! As good as we can in these strange times.

When you are not doing music you are doing web design. How busy does that keep you?

There's not much work on at the moment honestly, so personal projects have filled the void. And video games.

You live in Melbourne Australia right? Tell me a little about Melbourne and where you live.

Melbourne is home to 5 million people. It's a wonderful city with vibrant live music, restaurants, parks – anything you're into, you can find. I've lived here for 16 years and I absolutely love it.

How have the wildfires affected you?

We had smoke here in Melbourne for weeks, though Sydney was much worse. The bushfires (as we call them) were hell on earth for those nearby.

How are you holding up with the Corona virus affecting everything?

My wife is working from home now, with me, so that's nice. My friends and family are healthy and safe, but I miss seeing them in person – video chats and phone calls are just not the same.

I miss live music and being in a crowd, the physical space and sharing in the moment. Australia is doing well comparatively, we're a spacious country with a low population, and we're good at following rules like "stay home."

What places do you go to in Melbourne to see heavy music?

The Tote, The Bendigo, Max Watts (HiFi), The Forum. I can't fucking wait to get to a gig when all this is over.

What are some Australian bands you love and we should check out?

In the doom/metal scene there are so many. Droid, Dr Colossus, Pod People, Thaw, Holy Serpent, Lucifungus are some I've enjoyed live recently.

Glacial by Judd Madden

My first introduction to Judd Madden was Glacial. I loved it and checked the other albums on your Bandcamp page.

Oh, cool! That album featured my one and only music video; Mountain Slayer, which received great exposure.

Is there an album that was removed from your Bandcamp page? There was a song on an album that almost had a hardcore tempo, great bass line! I want to say something like against set. I wish I remembered!

Before Waterfall (the first album) was released I made dozens of rough songs, to see if I could do it all by myself, and to experiment. Most of them were bad. "Against Set" and some of the less bad songs are on the Old Doom & Demos album. Listening now, it's not that fast -- maybe you're thinking of something else? There are not a lot of fast songs in my catalogue, perhaps "Mouth" from Waterfall or Waterfall II?

Please tell me about 528hz (DNA repair). I have heard many frequencies in that range, higher and lower but never in a doom song!

It's from "Everything In Waves" which is about reality, energy, perception, matter, cosmos. In my research about wave-forms of all types, I stumbled across the "healing tones" genre, with its wild claims about specific frequencies.

The song is mostly tongue-in-cheek, but leaves the question open. Can listening to certain tones have healing/meditative benefits? Well, we don't know everything, right?

Feel No Pain by Dead End Thoughts

What prompted Dead End Thoughts?

The desire to create even heavier music, with vocals. It's a separate project, as my main catalogue doesn't have vocals – Dead End Thoughts is a different beast. I wanted a space to explore complex ideas, the edges of my mind and darkness. The songs are thematically and musically extremely heavy.

It doesn't come from a place of depression or anger, as some people have suggested, but a need to explore and create something original. If it's original I'm happy. Musically the songs are totally organic, it's a stream of consciousness in the jam, with vocals and instrument layers added after.

Dead End Thoughts recently released 'Feel No Pain' (2020). Please tell me about the spark that started the fire for this album.

Feel No Pain is created directly from live jams between myself on guitar and Dan on drums. It's an evolution from the first album, which I created recording guitar first and drums second (which was difficult).

When you jam with one melodic instrument and one rhythmic instrument, both are free (within reason) to do what they like. Adding a second melodic instrument like a bass usually requires more planning and results in more structured songs.

We enjoy seeing where things go. These five tracks were chosen from around 20 that we recorded throughout the year. I realised mid-year that this could be the next album; the riffs were of similar tone, and I wouldn't have to drum over them!

Once I added a second/third guitar, bass, and vocals, they no longer sounded like jams and became real songs -- but you can still feel the live energy. It's also not perfect, which I think makes it more interesting.

We surprise ourselves when we're jamming, there is no staleness from playing a rehearsed song over and over. Most of the riffs on the album were new to us as we played them. It's so much fun.

On 'Feel No Pain,' Dan Jolly plays drums and did the album artwork. Please tell me about him and his role in Dead End Thoughts.

Dan has been one of my best mates for many years. We've played a lot together, he's a fantastic drummer who's even more into doom metal than I am! He played on half of these tracks unaware that they would become an album, sorry Dan. (laughs)

Our drumming styles are actually pretty similar, but he's younger and more energetic. I asked him to do the album art, as I was doing all the production and extra instruments, so he could share ownership of the project. It's an awesome painting, we had it before the lyrics so I was able to connect with "By Burning Heat."

Colour High by Colour High

Tell me about Colour High and how that is different from the music you make most of the time.

Colour High is an electronic doom project, similar to the music in Stranger Things. It was made over two months very late at night, in headphones when I couldn't make noise.

I've always dabbled in electronic music, once I even 'played live' in 1999 with my brick of a computer and CRT monitor. I just sat behind it and pretended to be doing things -- I wasn't.

Colour High is all about exploring sounds, compositions, just having fun and enjoying a different process. Having the entire score and all instruments available when composing is very different to the track-by-track approach required for solo instrumental music.

What makes Judd Madden laugh?

Most things. My friends, my wife, my cat. I love TV shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm, Always Sunny, South Park, The Office. Love stand-up comedy -- hard to name just a few, but Dave Chappelle, Brian Regan, Bill Burr, Iliza Shlesinger, Joey Diaz, Dylan Moran and all the greats like Carlin, Seinfeld, Prior, etcetera!

Which bands have influenced you and the music you make?

My parents like Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath, Beatles, Metallica. 90's bands like Tool, RATM, Chili Peppers, Prodigy. Then I started getting into Kyuss, Sleep, Yob, and the amazing stoner rock/doom metal scene. It resonated strongly with me and I immediately wanted to make music in that genre.

Now I listen to anything good: jazz, classical, electro, darksynth, math, weird stuff like Scott Walker or doom bands like Conan, Bongripper, Aleph Null. Completely obsessed with an electronic artist called 2814, the album Birth of a New Day is a real trip.

Name some good books that you have read.

The Gap Cycle, Stephen Donaldson. The Nights Dawn Trilogy, Peter Hamilton. Enders Game Series, Orson Scott Card.I like big space operas, currently getting through The Culture series, but honestly I've fallen out of the habit of reading – I usually listen to music in headphones in bed.

How is the weed in Australia? Good?

It's illegal mate. But good, yes. I never touched it until I was 30 – now it's fun occasionally. I find it can help creativity, particularly with music. It can lower your ego, allow a more natural flow.

Is there anything you want to plug or promote?

Aside from the new album and the other projects we've discussed, my wife and I made Duel 52, a card game that you can play with a standard deck of cards. It's free and fun, if you're bored in lockdown check it out!

What is in the future for Judd Madden and Dead End Thoughts?

Once Dan and I can jam again we'll keep making music, and another heavy album. For my main project I have the beginnings of a lighter album similar to Float, spacey and guitar-heavy. Calm, meditative music to balance all this darkness.

Judd, thank you very much for your time! Stay safe and sane through these tough times!

Cheers, thank you for your support!

Waterfall II by Judd Madden

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#D&S Interviews #Judd Madden #Melbourne #Australia #Doom #Sludge #Metal #Doom Metal #one man band #Dead End Thoughts #Colour High #Doomed & Stoned

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