Hey event friends! I need a standby volunteer to whip up a gift for someone!
I may also need another one later- I have one person who hasn’t responded to check-in. I’m giving them until tomorrow, just in case they’re busy with holiday stuff, but after that I’m going to get a standby person on it.
Tagging the standby team!
@randowhump @dresden-syndrome @toyybox @shshshquietnow @whumpinthepot @roxenworks @forestbeansisdyslexic @panic-whump @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @the-whumpee-tapes @appy-polly-loggies @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @painsandconfusion @whumble-beeee @someonecommittingcrimes @cupcakes-and-pain
And just clearing it up in case the person who asked for standby happens to see this: You’ll still get your gift! It’s the holidays, circumstances happen, no big deal🙂
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Dear future self... January 29, 2024
Another 2 weeks have passed? I was feeling pretty down the start of two weeks ago I think and didn't end up writing and now lots has happened.
2 weekends ago I went to Amber's saturday to help paint & stayed for dinner. I was there for like 8 or 9 hours & man, I tell you, this girl is my other half. We chatted about the book we just finished, The Light We Carry & the really good bits about friendship etc. There's a part about finding your barnacles as friends, the ones that stick by your side through anything & can't get rid of basically & it was just so reassuring again to hear that I'm that person to her. We had really great conversation about relationships & how in the past we've put so much pressure on our partner to fulfill all aspects but realize how important it is to have outside friends that you can go to & fulfill that, we laughed as we both said we're each others person. I love that girl to bits man. Sunday I went for Lunch with Calvin which was really nice, always great conversation with him. Then went bowling with Shane later which was fun. We enjoy doing that & always have a lot of laughs.
Monday I had off which was nice, got my car checked out and then visited Shane at work. I was supposed to help Kamber move but it was cold out. I did a bunch of baking instead, made my lemon loaf for Chrystal and made carrot cake cookie sandwiches which turned out so good. Tuesday was Amber's for game night, I had invited Shane since Troy hadn't responded to me, he ended up texting me at like 5pm saying he was stressed with work & would be working late. I wasn't really going to respond. Games night was fun per usual, played Catan. Chilled Wed & Thursday. Friday went to Olea for Shruti & Sasha's birthdays with Cassie. It was really great, it was so nice to catch up with them all & we always have a lot of laughs so it was a great get together.
I think then is when I responded to troy just saying I hope he had a good week.
Saturday I went for drinks with Austin, which was nice, he was super cute but I figured there'd be something with him. Then went to Ambers to watch the oilers game, which we were supposed to all go out together but Kamber & Shane canceled & bars were full so we stayed in, made some appies together & watched the Oilers & sharks game which was great.
Sunday went to Brunch with Calvin again and then relaxed for the day. Wednesday went to Steven's to hang with him & Amanda which was great to finally catch up, played Spectre which was super good & I want to get this game now. Friday went to Ambers for another dinner & Catan night with Shane, then we played Overcooked which was so much fun. I haven't laughed that consecutively for a while which is usually when I'm with Amber anyways, it was such a fun night & we stayed till like 2am. Saturday I went over to Calvins for food & to hang out. Turned out going a bit sideways than I expected. He was hoping to make a move on me but I stood my boundaries which he respected but I kind of fingered now after that, that he would probably stop talking to me after realizing that I wasn't going to let him in my pants. It was kind of sad and frustrating but whatever. I'm not interested in friendship if they're just wanting that. I was super tired that night so I relaxed & gamed Horizon for a bit.
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TTCC Toontorial Text:
Lord Lowden Clear:
Hey, Professor Pete! Here's that Toon I was talking about earlier-- mind showing them the ropes?
Professor Pete:
Sure thing, Lord Lowden Clear! Could you set things up in the training room?
Lord Lowden Clear: Roger! I'll see you shortly, rookie.
Professor Pete:
Hey there, friend! Let's get the simple stuff out of the way. You can move your Toon with MOVEMENT keys! The default buttons are W, A, S, and D.
Alright, now try JUMPING! The default button is SPACE BAR!
Looking good! Speaking of looking, you can rotate your camera by holding RIGHT CLICK. You can even combine it with movement!
To really get moving, try SPRINTING! The default button for it is SHIFT!
Mess around as much as you want, then come up to me when you're ready to continue.
Great job! Welcome to Toontown, a place full of laughter and fun!
Well... that's the idea at least.
Lowden will be able to explain our situation better than I can, though.
Speaking of, he should be ready for you by now!
Go ahead and check out the training room!
<You enter the training room to meet with Lord Lowden Clear.>
Lord Lowden Clear:
Welcome to the training room, rookie! Let's get you prepared!
First thing's first: you need a Laff Meter! Now where is it...
<You receive a Laff Meter, making you mortal.>
Lord Lowden Clear:
Ah, there it is! Your Laff Meter signifies how h appy you are at any point in time!
However, if your Laff hits 0...
You'll become sad and will be sent back to the nearest playground!
Luckily, when in the playground, you can find treasures! These will heal you back up quickly.
Why would your Laff hit 0, you may ask?
Well, you see, currently we are under an invasion. An invasion conducted by robots.
We call them Cogs.
These no fun robots can't take a joke. Thankfully, jokes are our specialty!
Gags are used to battle the Cogs around town, and I'm going to teach you how to use them!
Let's get started! Approach that Cog dummy over there!
Get that Desk Jockey!
<You approach the Desk Jockey to start the battle.>
Lord Lowden Clear:
Ready to train? First thing's first, the battle interface!
At the bottom, each Toon has a panel that includes their Laff Meter and what they're planning to do.
Cogs have their own panels, located at the top. This shows their health and level.
But most importantly, we have your inventory of Gags smack dab in the middle!
Each row represents a Gag Track. I'll be walking you through the uses of each one.
Something to remember is that Gags are used in Track order, from top to bottom. Now let's get to using some!
Here's a SQUIRT Gag for you to use on that Desk Jockey! Click on it to attack!
<You use the SQUIRT Gag on the Desk Jockey, leaving them with the SOAKED debuff.>
Lord Lowden Clear:
Great shot! As you might have noticed, it took some DAMAGE shown by the number that popped up!
Also, they became SOAKED!
SOAKED is something we call a Status Effect, which you can see is slotted into that Cog's panel.
Hovering over a Status Effect will give you a brief description of what it does. It's good to always be aware of the situation!
<Mousing over the SOAKED icon in the Cog's status panel, you can see the details of any buffs/debuffs applied to them:>
[SOAKED: Soaked Cogs have -10% dodge chance and are vulnerable to ZAP Gags. Removed if this cog is hit by ZAP gags.]
Lord Lowden Clear:
One of the benefits of SOAKED is that the Cog is less likely to dodge our gags.
This is a great time to use DROP! It's a very powerful type of Gag, but has low accuracy.
<You use your DROP gag on the Desk Jockey - as does Lord Lowden Clear, giving the Cog a horrible migraine. The Desk Jockey then uses LIGHTS-ON INITIATIVE, summoning more dummies to the fight.>
Lord Lowden Clear:
Nice, we both hit it! Because of that, we dealt bonus COMBO damage!
SQUIRT, THROW, and DROP Gags deal COMBO damage when used with other Gags of their track.
However, they used an ability that summoned another Cog! Fortunately, we have ways of dealing with multiple Cogs at once.
ZAP Gags can only affect SOAKED Cogs, but their electricity can jump to other SOAKED targets.
How about you use ZAP while I use SQUIRT to SOAK both of them?
<Lord Lowden Clear uses a SQUIRT Gag to SOAK both Cogs, and you use your ZAP gag on the Desk Jockeys - destroying one of them.>
Lord Lowden Clear:
Good teamwork! We even managed to destroy one of them. Hopefully Pete won't be mad about that...
Notice how the Cog isn't SOAKED anymore? ZAP dries off all the Cogs it hits!
Also, when I SOAKED the Cog next to the one I targeted, it dealt a little bit of SPLASH damage.
Anyways, let's move on. Go ahead and use a LURE Gag now.
<You LURE the Desk Jockey.>
Lord Lowden Clear:
Guess our friend found that quite alluring!
LURED is a Status Effect just like SOAKED, so you can hover over it for info as well!
<Mousing over the LURED icon in the Cog's status panel, you can see the details of any buffs/debuffs applied to them:>
[LURED: LURED Cogs cannot attack and take +2 more damage from each THROW or SQUIRT Gag that's used.]
Lord Lowden Clear:
LURED guarantees that our SQUIRT, THROW and SOUND Gags will hit.
[NOTE: Lord Lowden Clear is lying on the internet. I’ve seen SOUND miss on LURED Cogs plenty of times when fighting WH.]
Lord Lowden Clear:
Let's take advantage of it by using THROW Gags!
Oof! That sure was a splat fest! See how it was KNOCKED BACK and isn't LURED anymore?
Both THROW and SQUIRT Gags deal bonus damage equal to the KNOCKBACK value of the LURED effect.
Other sources of damage will still UNLURE the Cog but will not gain the KNOCKBACK damage, so be careful!
In addition, DROP Gags cannot hit LURED Cogs.
The next track I'll have you use is TRAP. Go ahead and throw down a banana peel!
<You throw down a banana peel in front of the Desk Jockey, who hits Lord Lowden Clear and summons three more dummies to the battle.>
Lord Lowden Clear:
Ouch! I wasn't expecting that... Pete's been messing with the script, I guess.
When you start fighting actual Cogs, they will attack every turn after the Toons finish using their Gags.
Ugh! Anyway, you can see that the TRAP hasn't done anything yet.
Cogs must be LURED into TRAPS for them to work.
This many Cogs isn't a good situation... I'm going to LURE them all with my magnet so that they can't attack.
Could you give me a TOON-UP to help me shake off that hit I took earlier? It will also help my accuracy!
That fall's gotten them dazed and confused now!
Similar to SOAKED, DAZED makes the Cog less likely to dodge our attacks.
Now then, I've had about enough of these Desk Jockeys!
Time for the last track, SOUND! It hits all the Cogs in battle!
SOUND off, rookie!
<You and Lowden Clear both use SOUND, defeating 3 Desk Jockeys - the remaining one uses CLIP ON TIE, dealing damage to you. The tie isn't your color, unfortunately.>
Lord Lowden Clear:
Are you OK, rookie? This Desk Jockey is a tough one...
Using SOUND gives you the ENCORE effect, which makes your next gag stronger!
<Mousing over the ENCORE icon in your Toon's status panel, you can see the details of any buffs/debuffs applied to you:>
[ENCORE: All Gags have a +10% effectiveness boost. By using SOUND again, you'll become Winded.]
Lord Lowden Clear:
If you use SOUND when you have ENCORE, however, you'll become WINDED, which makes your SOUND Gags weaker for a few turns.
And that should be everything you need to know about fighting Cogs!
I'll give you a TOON-UP to get you back to full laff. Choose a Gag to finish this fight!
<Lord Lowden Clear gives you a TOON-UP, and you use THROW, SQUIRT, SOUND, or DROP to finish off the Desk Jockey.>
Lord Lowden Clear:
Great job, rookie! I think you're ready to take on the Cogs!
You now have a very tough decision to make. Which two Gag Tracks will you start with?
Once you've decided, head back to the classroom. Pete will want to talk with you.
<After picking your two starting Gags, you head back to the main room of the Schoolhouse to speak with Professor Pete.>
Professor Pete:
Welcome back! I take it that training went well?
Well, I have a few welcome gifts for you! They do require some explanation, though.
This is your Schtickerbook! It contains all sorts of handy tools to help you around Toontown. Go ahead and open it!
This is the Districts page. Each District is a copy of Toontown. If you want to meet up with friends, make sure you're in the same District!
Let's continue to the next page, shall we?
This is the Map page, where you can view the entirety of Toontown! Some parts of town are covered by clouds, but they will become visible once you've visited them!
The 'Go Home' button will take you to your own Toon estate, while the 'Minigames' button will take you to the Minigames area! The 'Playground' button takes you to the nearest playground.
That's everything for the Map page, let's continue to the next one.
This is your ToonTasks page. Here, you can see everything you're assigned to do around Toontown! Oh look, you have one right now!
Looks like Mayor Flippy wants to see you in the Toon Hall after this. Let's hurry onto the next page then!
This is the Items and Codes section, here is where you can customize your Toon!
Let's continue to the Clothing tab of the page.
This is your Toon's wardrobe! It's pretty empty right now since you just got here, but there are many ways to expand your fashion!
You look Toontastic right now regardless! Let's continue to the next page.
Now, this is your Cog Gallery. We don't have much information on the Cogs right now, so you'll have to fill this out as you encounter them.
Go ahead and close the Schtickerbook now.
Has everything I said made sense?
Cat got your tongue?
Oh, you must not know how to speak with SpeedChat yet!
Click the SpeedChat button on the far left to say something to me!
Great job!
By the way, you aren't locked to just these phrases. You can expand the Chat Panel to freely type what you'd like and see what others are saying.
Oh, and one more thing...
Here you go!
This is the Experi-o-Meter, where the experience you earn from doing activities around town goes!
Your level will increase as you gain more experience.
This unlocks all kinds of cool things, like Training Points, increased Gag storage, and increased Laff!
That's all from me! Flippy wants to see you in Toon Hall, so head there first!
<You leave the Schoolhouse and go to Toontown Central's main playground.>
Flippy:
Say, I heard you graduated training! Congradulations!
Welcome to Toontown Central, let me show you around some of the most important landmarks.
This is a Toon Headquarters, or Toon HQ. Outposts like these are set up all over Toontown!
Each one has HQ Officers inside to help Toons. This one happens to be where some of our best Resistance Rangers are stationed, like Lord Lowden Clear!
You'll visit the Rangers soon, so let's move on.
Here's Toontown Central's Gag Shop! You can buy Gags inside, but that requires Jellybeans!
You can earn Jellybeans through battles, completing quests, fishing, playing table games, and trolley games!
Speaking of which...
The trolley! Hop on with some Toons or by yourself to play some Toontastic minigames while earning Jellybeans!
Now, I think those are the most important playground buildings...
Oh yes! How could I forget!
I'm here in the Toon Hall! Please, come inside so I can give you a proper Toontown welcome!
[This is the end of the Toontorial - starting your very first quest, Welcome to Toontown!]
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Aight so I seriously don’t know how to use Tumblr but it’s talk time.
How to support Asians and recognize anti-AAPI violence and micro-aggressions.
Key Terms;
AAPI - Asian American Pacific Islander
BLM - Black Lives Matter
SAH - Stop Asian Hate
First things first, if you’re attempting to spread awareness or new information (make sure to check your sources and usually try to share information from an AAPI source, during these times it’s extremely important to uphold the voices of those being oppressed) do NOT use the hashtag #/AsianLivesMatter (ALM). While we appreciate the sentiment it actually takes away from the movement of BLM, which is just as important and still needs attention and help. Instead, use the hashtags #StopAsianHate and #StopAAPIHate- these are the tags dedicated to the movement.
Now, for spotting anti-AAPI micro-aggressions and what to do about them:
Jokes such as “Ching chong” and teasingly pulling at your skin as to create the illusion that your eyes are slanted are micro-aggressions against AAPI appearances and language. This builds the assumption that all Asian languages are based around these sorts of tones and syllables when that is not the case; and additionally not all Asians have slanted eyes! Countries such as India and Saudi Arabia are additionally a part of Asia, though most people only are familiar with East Asian countries/cultures through kpop, anime, kdramas et cetera.
The “fox eye” trend is also a racist micro-aggression against Asians, as explained previously. An basic explanation of this trend according to stanforddaily.com, “The fox-eye trend, where one applies make-up, pulls on their face or undergoes plastic surgery so the eyes and brows appear to slant upwards, is unapologetic cultural appropriation. Caucasian women like actress Megan Fox and supermodel Bella Hadid are often credited for popularizing the trend. These paragons of Western beauty standards require special efforts to achieve this look. On them, this “manufactured” eye shape is beautiful. On Asians however, this inborn eye shape is a feature to make fun of. Whether the look is achieved with make-up, eye-pulls or plastic surgery, the effect is the same: It’s still an age-old taunt.”
Assuming that all AAPI people are fluent in all Asian languages- Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, and Filipino, for example, is a racist micro-aggression that pits all AAPI cultures as being the same. All Asian countries have vastly different roots and cultures and this micro-aggression erases a lot of this.
Questions and statements such as “Where are you /really/ from?”, “What type of Asian are you?”, “Wow, you speak [Language] so well for a [Race]!” are even more examples of Anti-AAPI micro-aggressions.
One of the most common Anti-AAPI aggressions in modern day America is the assumption that all Asians are to blame for COVID-19. While the virus originated in Wuhan, China, that does NOT support any claim that all Asians are responsible for the virus.
“Go back to your country” should not need to be explained but it is unfortunately a statement many AAPI folk face, even if they are American citizens.
The stereotype that all Asians are extremely smart is simply that; a stereotype.
Many Asian restaurants have different ways of cooking their food, and many people take this as a means of “their kitchens are unsanitary”. As somebody who has cooked many Vietnamese dishes, it gets messy, but that’s simply part of the process, and everything is perfectly sanitary and safe to eat. Asians are not “dirty”.
Not all Asians look like kpop idols.
Now, as for what to do if you witness a micro-aggression or if you realize that some of your assumptions and thought processes have been listed above
Step in. Chances are people will walk by and ignore whatever is happening; sometimes acts of racism against someone publicly is traumatizing and if you can just speak up and help out, you can really change the outcome of a situation.
If a friend makes a racist joke or tease, tell them. Inform them how it is racist and that their actions cannot be excused.
Research! It is not all AAPI people’s responsibility to constantly lecture everybody on what counts as racism and what doesn’t. Go out of your way to be better.
Don’t expect gifts or praise for enforcing basic human rights.
If any fellow AAPI have anything to add, feel free to do so. If you are not APPI, /please/ share this and educate yourself on how to do your part in stopping Asian hate.
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The Collab of Clueless Chaos - Chapter two
After a lot of struggle (and a lot of help from @whumpasaurus101 xD) i finally finished this chapter xD But i did have a lot of fun with it ngl~
Asher and Rodger belong to @whumpasaurus101
Lee's Masterlist / My Masterlist
First chapter
CW: Cursing (Olivia and Asher...what do you expect xD), slapping, pet whump
Olivia pushed a strand of hair out of her face and let out a deep breath, feeling the adrenaline rushing out of her body, leaving her absolutely exhausted. She always forgot just how much energy these types of things took out of her. At least she had the satisfaction of winning, especially after her opponent had been such a giant pain in the ass.
And well, it was nice not having to deal with Nicolas' bad mood for once.
Now she was just sitting in the -luckily empty- changing room trying to gather enough energy to actually move.
So far she was rather unsuccessful at that to be completely honest but since Nick was off somewhere doing...whatever it was that he was doing anyways, it didn’t really matter, so she just kept sitting there, staring at the floor in front of her.
Rodger breathed heavily, trying to take control of his anger. He was in the corridor of the fighting building. The door opened and Rodger could hear footsteps getting closer, “Good match. I guess I could say your dog put up an alright fight,” The voice chuckled. Rodger’s head snapped up to see Nick standing in front of him.
Suddenly he smiled, “Nick! How are you doing? I must say, I am very impressed with Olivia. And that trick at the end, genius!” Nick chuckled and bowed his head, “Thank you. I've had her trained tough, let's just say she has a lot of anger she can use to support her.”
“Tell me about it! Jesus Christ, Asher has the absolute worst temper, I have no clue what happened today though. But I swear I'll make him pay for it.” Nick leaned against the wall opposite Rodger, “Hey now, he was quite good, he just had tough competition.”
Rodger laughed, “That is true indeed.” There was a small silence before Rodger spoke, “Say, you wouldn't like to go out for dinner tonight, would you? You seem like a nice enough gent.” Nick smirked, “I'm honoured,” he joked, “That's perfect, I’ll see you tonight at Island Indigo, 7pm.”
“See you then”
And with that the two men went to check on their pets.
*
“God I just cannot with guys like that!” Olivia was pacing up and down in the basement, just as she had been for the past 10 minutes. “You know it's always guys who Think they're the absolute greatest and Think that I don't stand a Chance because I'm a girl. What Kind of bullshit logic is that?! God!”
Rain was watching her with big eyes from his place on the bed and slightly tilted his head to the side. Theo, who was sitting next to him, rolled his eyes and let out a slightly annoyed sigh, “You could also just be happy that you didn’t lose, why are you even still talking about it now?”
She shot him an annoyed glance and turned to him, “Because it is a matter of principal, Theodor. That and because for some god damn reason I have to see him again today. Could someone tell me again why I have to deal with the fact that Nicolas needs to make more friends? Can’t he do that without me having to suffer because of it? But nooo that would just be too easy, wouldn’t it?” She threw her hands up and let herself fall onto the ground, leaning with her back against the wall, ignoring the pain that cursed through her whole body as a result of the sudden movement.
“I mean, at least you could maybe..I don’t know, make a new friend as well?” Rain was still looking at her with a slight smile on his face. Olivia rolled her eyes but couldn’t help a slight grin, “Mhm, yeah because we had such a good start to our relationship already.”
*
Olivia stared at Nicolas in absolute disbelief “I am absolutely not-” He made a gesture with his hand, immediately causing her to stop talking. “You are not given a choice here. You did good today, now you wouldn’t want to ruin that, would you?” There was a cold smile on Nicolas face, completely lacking any empathy. “Besides, you should really be grateful if anything.”
It took all of her self control to not punch him in the face right then and there, instead she just took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes. “Oh well thank you so much,” she mumbled it more to herself but apparently Nicolas had still heard. Now he was looking at her with raised eyebrows and a dark expression, the warning clearly written over his face.
“What was that?”
Olivia knew that tone well enough by now and she felt a cold shiver running down her spine. She hadn’t completely messed up yet but he was reaching a limit in his patience. Frankly, she was surprised it had even taken that long. “Nothing...Sir.” She had to force the last word out, every inch of her skin felt like it was resisting it. But maybe for once it was better to not make him angry when it wasn’t necessary.
Luckily he seemed satisfied with her answer, a pleased smirk replacing the previous dark look on his face. “That’s what I thought.”
With that he handed her the dress and turned around to leave again.
“You got 10 minutes.”
*
Nicolas looked at Asher’s arm which was now in a sling. The bandages on his shoulder were slightly visible under his button-up shirt. “So, Antonio, that’s Asher’s trainer, right?” Rodger nodded, sipping his glass of wine and setting it back down on the table, “Yes! He’s truly great. Puts up with none of Asher’s bullshit. No matter how hard Asher tries to get out of things or how defiant he tries to be, Antonio simply doesn't put up with him. And puts him back in his place if you ask me.”
Nicolas nodded, thinking to himself, “You know, Olivia actually needs a new trainer.” Olivia’s head snapped over to Nicolas, eyes wide and jaw clenched. She heard Asher snickering quietly from where he sat. “Does she now?” Rodger asked, smirk wide on his face.
“Do you think Antonio could put up with another mutt?” Rodger chuckled, “A mutt who fights as good as her? He’d be more than happy to take her! She’d definitely make more money for him than Asher does.” This time it was Olivia’s turn to laugh quietly at Asher, who shot daggers at her with a death glare.
“Well guess you’re not the favourite anymore, huh Ashy boi?”
All of a sudden there was a burning rage in his eyes and before Olivia could fully register what was happening he leaned over the table, presumably in an attempt to hit her. Before he could really do anything Rodger was quick to react and grabbed his shoulder - the one that was still in a sling -, pulling him back before slapping him hard across the face, causing Olivia to flinch even though she wasn’t the one getting slapped.
But she had been in the past. She had been exactly where Asher was right now and for a moment she felt a sting of guilt in her chest.
That was until she saw the murderous look Asher was giving her now. From the corner of her eye she also noticed Nicolas watching her, as if he was waiting for her to act out as well. But she was not going to give him that satisfaction, instead he just shot him an annoyed look before focusing back on Asher again, who was still glaring at her as if he wanted to punch her. “I just let her win anyways!” Even though he was looking directly at her, he was clearly more talking to Rodger who didn’t really seem to take that statement seriously.
“Mhm, yeah sure you did Ashy.”
Lee's Taglist: @likeit-or-whumpit, @milk-carton-whump, @yesthisiswhump, @as-a-matter-of-whump, @appy-polly-loggies, @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi, @myst-in-the-mirror, @tears-and-lilies
My Taglist: @starnight-whump, @jordanstrophe, @froggywhumpy, @whumpasaurus101, @as-a-matter-of-whump, @jojothepanwithoutaplan, @myst-in-the-mirror, @darklyria, @whumpsweetwhump
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Hi could u please write a fic where alex is diagnosed with a serious illness and jo is there with him for support ?
doctors make the worst family members
anon, i’m gonna start by saying that this is most certainly NOT what you asked for, but it's what you're getting. One; I can't write angst for shit so it would just be a major disappointment, and two; I truly just don’t have the heart to write my favorite character with a serious illness, lol.
Also, welcome to the series I'm starting. It's called, “payton uses evan peters characters from ahs for jolex baby names because she loves him and every character he plays”. (“payton loves evan peters too much” for short) it’ll be a ride 😎
anyways... hope you enjoy, nevertheless!
____
Jo Karev stood in her husband’s room, pacing around one the hospital’s floors so much she would make a hole in them if she continued any longer. She anxiously bit her nails with one hand, the other rubbing circles on her seventeen week baby bump.
She stops her movements suddenly, making her way to the uncomfortable hospital chair that sat in the corner of the room, flopping down into it, more than happy to be off her feet. They were beginning to feel like she had just through the grand canyon, not to mention, were the size of cantaloupes.
“You good now?” Alex asks her from his bed, a teasing smirk on his lips. His arms were crossed in front of his hospital gown, an item he (very) reluctantly put on. Jo had given him a glare and he knew he couldn’t refuse. Never get in a fight with Josephine Karev, he learned that one a while ago, but it was especially important that he never got into a fight with a pregnant Josephine Karev. She went full on criminal defense attorney, and he wasn’t going to lie, it was pretty scary.
Jo throws him a sharp glare. Due to her pregnancy, her mood swings had been hitting harder than ever. One second she wanted to pummel her husband, and the next she wanted him to hold her in his arms forever. Although, she supposed that wasn’t too out of the normal though, since Alex was always finding some way to piss her off and then say something sickenly sweet to make it up to her. A more accurate description would be how she went from joyful in the morning to blubbering tears and incoherent words when she figured out her favorite pair of jeans didn’t fit. (It was a scary sight, Alex had to console her for a good twenty minutes before she was able to fully calm down. Pregnancy hormones were wack.)
“Shut up.” she glowers, sinking lower in her seat, tracing circles on her belly in an effort to calm the kicking in her stomach. Baby decided now would be a good time to jab a kick straight to her rib, so she hunches over in her chair, letting out a small hiss of pain before adjusting herself, not missing the way Alex’s eyes look at her warily.
“You okay?” he questions, making Jo bob her head up and down.
“Fine. Your daughter just likes you more than me, which you know, I'm totally okay with. I mean, it’s not like I'm growing her inside me for nine months or anything.” she stares at him pointedly, causing the worry etched on his face to fade away and form a crooked smirk.
Alex chuckles, leaning back into the multiple hospital authorized pillows behind him as he runs a hand through his hair. He had a snarky comment on the tip of his tongue, but decided to hold it in. Jo was stressed, and the last thing he needed was to cause her any more.
It didn’t take long for Jo to begin her pacing again. She traveled the length of the room. The door, to the blue chair. Door to the blue chair. Back and forth, back and forth. Alex was starting to get dizzy just by looking at her. Her brown locks flew behind her as she moved, at times picking up her pace, making it across the room even quicker. It was at then that she would fiddle with the rings on her left hand, twisting them and untwisting them, tracing her fingers over the large diamond from her engagement ring and the smaller ones from her wedding ring. When she was little she always thought it was the other way around. She thought the big, fancy diamond was for the wedding, while the more modest piece of jewelry was the one that was ever so delicately placed in the velvet box.
She stares at the ring fondly, a small smile subconsciously gracing her lips. God, it was so beautiful. A 2.5 carat princess cut with a platinum band. Jo knew the name of the shape of the diamond wasn’t by accident, it had most definitely been the main reason why he had chosen that exact one. (She found out it was a princess cut when Kepner had taken her finger and examined the ring, sprouting out facts about the new piece of jewelry she was wearing. Also known as the only reason she knew any details about the rock that only left her finger when she had to be surgery, a rare now since she had transferred to OB)
When he pulled out that ring the first time, she was shocked to say the least, one; because, well he was proposing to her, and two; it was so freaking gorgeous.
Jo was never the type of woman to gush over rings and weddings and frilly dresses with frumpy looking bridesmaids gowns and too many different forks to choose from at dinner. But when she saw that ring? It didn’t matter that they were arguing, it didn’t matter that she felt like he wasn’t in her corner, she just wanted that ring. She never felt like that with Paul (for obvious reasons), the want to stick that ring on her finger and never take it off. Besides that fact that it was beautiful, she knew the real reason she wanted it so badly was because it came from him, from Alex, the man she loved more than life itself. She hated when she had to tell him to put the beautiful ring away, because she wanted nothing more than to wear it herself.
“Jo, I’m gonna be fine.” the man says, watching as his wife stops her movements, turning around to glare at him so sharply he wanted to pull the words back into his mouth and zip them up.
“You don’t know that!” she explodes at him, moving her arms around aimlessly, angry tears beginning to glaze over her eyes. Damn pregnancy hormones.
She lets out a huff, her breath coming out shakily as she tries to fan out the water in eyes.
Alex flashes her a small smile, “Jo, it's an appy. A freakin’ appy. Bailey’s doing it! Nothing’s gonna go wrong if Bailey is doing my appy.” he remarked.
“So many things could go wrong!” she exclaims, pacing around the room once more as words come flying out of her mouth with absolutely no filter at all. “There’s bleeding, infection, inflammation, your appendix could burst-”
She’s cut off by Alex, who’s shaking his head. “Jo.” he looks up at her, her brown eyes boring into his, “I’ll be fine.” he reassures her, watching as she tries to swallow the lump growing in her throat. He pats the bed beside her, signaling for her to come sit next to him.
Jo waddles to him, curling up to his side and placing her head on his chest as he runs fingers through her hair. “You can’t die on me, alright?” she mumbles into him, letting a single tear come down her cheek and land on his hospital gown.
“I won't. Promise.” he places a peck on top of her head.
Jo lets out a little chuckle, “I was never this emotional with Walker.” she teases.
Alex laughs, pulling her closer into him. “Trust me, I know.” he says, earning him a slap on the chest. “Speak of the devil…” he trails off, seeing Meredith walk into the room with a little boy glued to her hip.
“Momma! Daddy!” the three year old exclaims once he sees his parents, a wide smile painting his face as he tries to wiggle out of his auntie’s arms and onto the ground. It felt like he hadn’t seen them in forever, even if it was just six hours before he was being dropped off at daycare.
“Hi bubs!” Jo exclaims, taking Walker from Meredith’s extended hold and setting him down on her lap, his big, hazel eyes staring up at his parents in adoration while the blonde goes to sit in the chair Jo previously occupied.
Walker adjusts his position, making sure not to sit on his mommy’s bump. “Hi baby sissy.” he says to her stomach. Jo takes his hand and puts it on her abdomen, watching his face light up as he feels a sharp kick come straight to his tiny palm.
“Sissy says hi back.” Alex grins, ruffling the little boys spiky hair, which had somehow stayed intact throughout his adventurous day at the hospital’s daycare. He had his wife to thank for that. Jo had somehow managed to find a way to keep their son’s hair in place after long hours, thanks to copious amounts of gel she had mastered the use of. He used to say that a shaggy haircut was fine and perfectly normal, but she said that she ‘didn’t want her son looking like Will Byers’. All haircut debates officially ended after that.
The parents listen as their little boy rattles on about his day, from seeing his best friend Peter to knocking down the block towers he built over and over again. Their three year old was a little bundle of joy, their complete surprise baby. Jo always joked that he was created the night of her faux pregnancy announcement, since the dates lined up. Walker was something else. He inherited Jo’s hazel eyes nose, but everything else about the little boy screamed Karev, from the big head he had when he was born to the crooked smirk that permanently stayed plastered on his lips, always ready to get into some trouble.
Some days he acted like an angel, but majority of the time he was the literal spawn of Evil Spawn. Cristina’s custom made onesies and t-shirts were frequently worn by little Walker, which proudly stated, “My Daddy is an Evil Spawn!”, “Spawn of Evil Spawn”, “Product of an Evil Spawn and Hairball” just to name a few.
Walker and Meredith found them hilarious, Jo and Alex… not so much.
A few minutes later a nurse walks in, asking Alex if he needed anything while simultaneously checking his vitals when the little boy speaks up.
“Hi!” he chirps excitedly, a crooked grin on his face. He loved meeting new people, one of the few differences he shared from his parents, but they knew that was a good thing. Walker had always been sociable and practically made friends everywhere he went. The cashier at the grocery store, the workers at the receptionist’s desk, random people he passed on the street… little Karev was quite a people person.
“Hi there sweetie,” the woman in her mid-twenties coos, tucking a strand of strawberry blonde hair behind her ear as she bends down slightly to meet the little boy’s height. “I’m Andrea, what’s your name?” she asks.
“Walker!” the tiny brunette exclaims.
Andrea laughs, shaking her head a little bit at the adorable little boy, looking up to meet Alex’s eyes. “Your vitals are good Doctor Karev. Dr Bailey should be in soon to go have you sign your consent forms, but otherwise just sit here until then.”
Alex says his thanks as the nurse walks out the door, his son watching as the young girl leaves. Walker leans up unexpectedly, whispering loudly enough for the three adults in the room to hear.
“She had big boobies.” he giggles, clutching a hand over his mouth, trying to hide his large grin.
Jo’s face could only be described as scandalized, while Alex and Meredith burst into loud laughter, their sound filling up the room with the little boy’s giggles.
“Walker Alexander Karev!” oh you are so your father’s son.
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The Scoop of a Lifetime - 2-9
Comfortember Day 9 - Confession
Tagging @mnmlover2002 @cupcakes-and-pain @lave-e @appy-polly-loggies @lovely-little-whump @just-another-whumper let me know if you want to be added/removed!
CW: flashbacks, heavily referenced trauma, let me know if I missed anything!
Masterlist // Previous
---
Devin shook in Elliott’s arms, tears already streaking down their face as they shook their head, wanting- no, needing- to push away from him. He’s not safe if he he knows if he knows he’ll just get hurt.
He didn’t say anything else until they’d cried themself out, going limp and silent in his arms. Then he gently sat them upright, keeping one arm around them, rubbing their back softly. “Hey, hey, Devin, can you tell me what happened?” His voice was so low and even and comforting.
Devin’s lower lip wobbled as they stared up into his eyes, searching for something, what, exactly, they didn’t know. Their throat felt uncomfortably tight as they tried to calm themself. “I- I can’t tell you,” they said, near-silent.
Elliott frowned, more out of concern than annoyance. “Oh. Okay, then.” He hesitated before asking, “Can you at least tell me if it has something to do with what happened to you?”
Devin brought a quick hand up to their mouth, pressing down hard as they muffled a sob. As far as anyone knew, they’d just been in a terrible accident. They’d told the authorities that it had been nothing, completely accidental. They’d told Elliott nothing.
Finally, hesitantly, they gave a tiny nod. Yes. Elliott blew out hard. “Okay.” He didn’t seem to know what else to say.
Devin looked up at him then away then their eyes inexplicably found their way back to his gray eyes that weren’t the wrong shade. They coughed before murmuring, “What happened to me, it- it could put you in danger. I don’t want to put that on you.”
Elliott considered that for a moment before giving a small shake of his head. “What if I want you to put that on me? No matter what you say, Devin, I’m your friend. And this is what friends do.” They stared at him, their lips parting slightly in surprise, as if he would laugh, say i take it back at any moment. As if he would give up on them at any moment. But there was only perfect sincerity in his expression.
They dropped his gaze, staring at their hands instead, weaving their fingers together in silence as they thought. Eventually, they took a deep breath. “I don’t know where to begin,” they admitted.
“The beginning is always a good place,” Elliott supplied easily.
They gave a small nod. “Okay then. It- it was the party I went to, for W- for that lead I was following up on. I, uh, I was in an area I wasn’t supposed to be in, somewhere that was off-limits to the public. I heard voices coming from one of the rooms, and, and, and I, I, um, went to go check it out and-” Their voice cracked as they sobbed loudly, their hand returning to their mouth as they folded onto themself. They felt Elliott’s hand on their back, steadying them, grounding them.
They straightened slightly. “There was a man,” they said, trying to pull the emotion out of their voice. “There was a man, hanging from the ceiling.” If they closed their eyes, they could still picture him perfectly. The desperation in his voice and eyes, how broken his body had become by the end, how mercilessly he’d been slaughtered. They heard Elliott draw in a sharp breath, but it was if he was on another planet now. It was just them and their memories.
I saw these other men, t-torturing him. I tried to back away, leave, just get out of there, but one of their goons caught me. I was dragged into that room, and that man, he was already dead. I was forced onto my knees in front of one of the men, their leader. It- it was, it was, um,
They opened one of their eyes slightly and shot a quick glance at Elliott, whose brow was drawn in equal measures concern and concentration. Taking a deep breath, they continued.
It was Erik Wildre.
They felt Elliott tense, hard and sudden, next to them, his hand on their back curling into a fist, but they shoved their thoughts aside.
He locked me up, forced me to be, like this, this pet to him, like a toy or something. He held me in his house, or, well, multiple of his houses, torturing me. He, uh, he hurt me, a lot.
Then, when he thought I was trying to escape, I wasn’t, I was already too broken by then, but he thought I was. Anyways, that’s when he lost control. He injured me, very bad. I mean, you saw what condition I was in at the hospital. So he, uh, he had this personal doctor of his come assess me. He’d already had me checked out multiple times.
Their hand dropped down towards their ankles.
The doctor, he, um, he said that it was possible that Wi- that he’d given me brain damage. He had choked me, you see, and he’d cut off the oxygen to my brain for longer than what was safe, apparently.
He- their throat grew tight again as they swallowed hard- he decided that it wasn’t worth the risk, and that I was more trouble than I was worth. So he ordered one of his henchmen to go ‘get rid of me.’
Elliott, I- I thought I was about to die. I was on my knees, gun to my head and everything. I was ready to die. But then Duncan couldn’t do it. That’s who was supposed to do it, Duncan. He’s like his personal body guard or something. He had to cart me around a lot.
Their brow furrowed slightly as they tried to figure out how to phrase this next part.
He, he saved me. Multiple times. And he also tried to kill me, multiple times. I just, after the beginning, I could never seem to hate him. I don’t know why he was doing what he did, but he never seemed to want to hurt me.
And then he saved me.
They opened their eyes slowly, fearing what Elliott’s reaction would be. Daring a look at his face, they saw he was- well, stunned was really the only word for it. He met their gaze and his expression crumbled and his arms were around them, holding them just tight enough.
“Oh my god, Devin, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.” That was it. No questioning, no are you sure that’s what really happened? Just total belief and sympathy.
They leaned into his embrace, resting their head on his shoulder as they took shuddering breaths. What have I done?
Next
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The Little Bit of Hope I Cling to -
Part 1:
Izzie goes to Grey Sloan looking for Dr. Grey, Dr. Bailey or Dr. Karev, meets Dr. Jo Karev instead
*takes place during early s15*
“Hello Ms. Stevens, my name is Dr. Helm and I will be the resident on your case today. Now it says in your medical history that you’re a cancer survivor?” Helm asked the woman in front of her.
“Yes,” Izzie Stevens nodded her head. “I’ve been having some distressing symptoms lately. I came here to make an oncology appointment since this is where I used to get my treatment, but this morning I fainted while in the shower. I’ve been very nauseous and have not been able to keep any food down. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight. I think my mets may be back.”
“Alright, well I will call for oncology and surgical consults while I get you up for CT,” Helm nodded.
“Could I request a surgeon?” Izzie asked. “I used to work here. I’m a surgeon myself.”
“Sure,” Helm smiled. “Who would you want on your case?”
“Dr. Bailey or Dr. Grey, or Dr. Karev would be fine,” Izzie paused. “We used to be great friends.”
“Of course. Let me go find out if they’re available,” Helm said before walking off to the nurses station to find out. Minutes later Helm returned to Izzie’s bed side. “Okay, so Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey are both in surgery right now, but Dr. Karev is available. Is that alright?”
“Yeah,” Izzie nodded nervously. She was jittery at the thought of seeing her ex-husband again. “That’s fine.”
“Great,” Helm smiled. “Dr. Karev should be down here soon. In the meantime I’m going to run a portable ultrasound to see if there are any masses in your abdomen.”
Izzie took a deep breath. She hadn’t expected to see him so soon. She knew coming back to Seattle for treatment would bring back all kinds of complicated memories. She didn’t come to start any trouble, though. She didn’t come to try to get him back. Sure, a part of her hoped that maybe he’d want her back and she’d have a chance to fix what she so horribly destroyed before. It really wasn’t why she was here, honestly. Her cancer was back. She was sure of it. She didn’t need to look at the scans to figure it out. She just wanted to be surrounded by friends as she fought it again.
***
“Hey!”
“Hey,” Jo smiled as Alex came up behind her and placed a kiss on her cheek. “I’ve missed you today.”
“I’ve missed you too,” Alex bent down to give her another kiss. “Anything exciting so far?”
“Not really,” Jo shook her head. “I did a bowl resection, supervised a resident perform an appy, and just checked on my post-ops. I think I’ll just go to the lab and work on my research if nothing comes up.”
“You could always join me,” Alex offered. “I have a kidney transplant in about an hour if you want to scrub in. I’m actually getting to do surgery today and the only thing that could make it better is if you were there with me.”
“Sounds tempting,” Jo leaned forward and brushed her lips against her husband’s. “We haven’t scrubbed in together for a while now.”
“I know,” Alex nodded. “And maybe after we can go to my office and... do some other stuff, too.”
Jo laughed, “You just want to get in my pants.”
“Always,” Alex wiggled his eyebrows and grinned. “I’m really just trying to knock you up before the year is over.”
“If I would’ve known you’d be this eager to have sex with me when I suggested trying to a baby I would’ve said yes years ago,” Jo giggled. She wouldn’t admit it to his face, but she found his desire for her incredibly sexy. If anything, it made her want him even more. “You know, that reminds me actually that I’m supposed to be getting my period this week. So, let’s cross our fingers and hope for the best.”
“Hey,” Alex smiled and his face softened. “We just started trying. It usually takes a while. So, whether you’re pregnant or not, it’s okay. We’ll just keep having fun trying until it happens.”
“Yeah. I know,” she sighed and reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Sorry chief, but I need to speak with Dr. Karev,” Helm walked up interrupting their moment. Jo and Alex separated and nodded for Helm to continue. Helm looked at Jo. “Dr. Karev, there is a patient in the ER requesting you. She’s said that you worked on her along Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey. They’re both in surgery, so I told her that I’d come find you.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll be right there,” Jo turned back to Alex. “I guess I won’t be scrubbing in with you after all.”
“Some other time,” Alex gave her one last peck on the lips and walked down the hall. “See you later!”
Jo looked at Helm, “Alright, let’s go.”
They walked down to the Pit. Helm briefed her on the patient’s condition and Jo tried to rack her brain for anything that may remind her of the patient, “What did you say that patient’s name was again?”
“Um... it started with an ‘S.’ I’m sorry, I don’t remember. It was something common, though,” Helm apologized. “Oh! And I detected an abnormal mass in her abdomen using the ultrasound machine, so I think her mets are back.”
“That’s fine. You can go ahead and check on other patients while I do the consult,” Jo instructed.
Jo walked up to ER bed 3 and pulled the curtain open, tablet in her hand. She smiled at the blonde woman and extended her hand, “Hi. I’m Dr. Karev. I heard you requested me. I’m so sorry, I but I don’t seem to remember your case. Could you remind me your name?”
Izzie was confused. Who was this woman that walked into her room saying that she was Dr. Karev? Izzie furrowed her brows, “I’m sorry, you’re Dr. Karev? The Dr. Karev I was expecting is male.”
A look of realization dawned on Jo’s face, “You must be looking for my husband.”
“You husband?” Izzie asked. “You’re married to Alex Karev?”
“Yes,” Jo grinned widely. “We recently got married. Everyone keeps mixing us up since I decided to change my last name. I’ve to tell the residents to start being more specific when they’re paging us. What did you say your name was?”
“Izzie Stevens.”
Jo raise her eyebrows in surprise, “Huh... so I guess you really weren’t expecting me.”
“Nope,” Izzie shook her head. “So, I’m guessing you know who I am?”
“I do,” Jo nodded. Jo would be lying if she said she’d never thought about what it would be like to meet the woman who broke Alex’s heart. She’d also be lying if she said that the thought of this woman didn’t intimidate her. Jo had heard all about their tragic love story and a small part of her questioned where Alex’s loyalties lied. Ultimately though, it didn’t matter who this woman was. She was a patient and deserved the best care. Jo had done this before. She’d taken care of Alex’s dad. She could take care of his ex-wife, too. “So, you think your cancer is back?”
“Yeah,” Izzie’s voice cracked. “I was doing great for many years. No symptoms, no relapses, nothing. I was cancer free. I thought I beat it.”
“When did you realize something was wrong?”
“I’ve been here in Washington for the past year taking care of my mom. She was in a car accident that should’ve killed her and has been going through really intensive rehab. A few weeks ago I started feeling sick while on my way to pick her up from physical therapy,” Izzie sighed. “Look, I’m not here to cause any problems or issues or bring back the past. I’m here because I need help if I’m going to fight this, and I can’t let my mom fight for me. She’s got enough to worry about. It would just be nice to see a familiar face again.”
Jo considered herself an empathetic person, which is why it was so difficult to hate this woman. If anything, Jo felt bad for her. Deciding to be the bigger person, Jo called Helm back to bed 3, “I need you to get Dr. Stevens up to CT and admit her. Do you know if Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey are available yet?”
“They’re still in surgery,” Helm replied.
“How about the chief? Or Webber?”
“Let me check,” Helm pulled the OR schedule up on the tablet. “Dr. Webber is off for the day and Chief Karev is about to go in on his kidney transplant kid.”
“Thanks Helm,” Jo turned back to look at Izzie. “I’m going to go talk to Alex while Dr. Helm takes care of you. I’ll be back soon.”
Jo left the ER and made her way to the OR floor to find her husband. Seeing his name on the board for OR 4, she hurried over to the scrub room. Walking in, she saw him through the window speaking to his patient. Jo waved to get his attention.
Alex scrunched his face and walked over to the scrub room, “Hey. What are you doing here? Didn’t you have a consult?”
“I did,” Jo took a deep breath. “I’m going to tell you something, but I don’t want you to freak out. Just know that I’ve got this and I’m taking care of it. If at any point you feel uncomfortable with me taking in this patient you let me know and I’ll hand it over to Bailey.”
“Who is it?”
“It’s Izzie Stevens,” Jo bit her lip. “I have Helm taking her up for CT now, but I’m pretty sure her cancer is back.”
“Izzie is here?” Alex asked, shocked expression on his face.
“Yeah,” Jo let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding as her eyes watered. “Look, I know you two have lots of unresolved history and when you married me, you didn’t think you’d ever see her again, so I’d understand if—“
“What?” Alex couldn’t believe what he’d heard come out of Jo’s mouth. “Stop talking. I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t marry you because I couldn’t have Izzie. I married you because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So shut up with this ‘unresolved history’ crap and trust that I’m right here Jo.”
“Okay,” Jo gave him the tiniest nod and a small smile. “I’m sorry. You know how it is... a lifetime’s worth of abandonment issues will really do a number on you.”
“I’m not abandoning you, Jo. Someone would have to kidnap or kill me before I ever willingly leave you,” he cracked a smile.
“I know.”
Alex looked at Jo for minute before speaking again, “Hey, how about I come with you. I can get the peds fellow to do the transplant. We’ll go in and treat her until Bailey gets out of the whipple she’s doing and then we can transfer Izzie’s case to her.”
“Alright.”
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Stories We Tell Ourselves
“Y’ever do that thing, y’imagine there’s a conversation with someone? Where y’makin’ the argument in your ‘ead, imaginin’ their responses, reworkin’ y’argument?” Alyssa lies on her back on the couch in the living room of the townhouse in Old Town, legs hooked over one arm of it and dangling down, staring up at the ceiling.
“Sure. We all do, but you know it doesn’t end up working out,” Dardillien’s reply from nearby as he pours himself another glass of bourbon from the mantle.
“Yeah alright true, but at least it ‘elps frame up the ‘ole discussion yeah? Get all the pieces right in y’ead so when it ‘appens, y’all set.” A tilt of her head to look over towards her brother.
“Just have the conversation. Don’t stay in your head with it,” a swig from the glass of amber liquid. “Always getting yourself worked up.”
“Well it’s ‘ard,” Alyssa replies with a grumpy snap.
“You have someone in particular you need to argue with, little one?” Celeste’s hand rests on Alyssa’s shoulder, as her other sets a teacup on the table in front of the young woman.
She does feel like a little one, sitting in the kitchen of their home in the Gilneas City trade district. The table feels almost impossibly high. “I don’ drink tea mum, y’know I like coffee.”
Her mother chuckles in response to that, settling into the chair beside hers at the table and looking down at her. It makes Alyssa feel nauseous to look up at Celeste again, to cling to every detail of her mother’s kind features as she looks on her daughter like she’s the brightest star in the great dark. “Too young for coffee little one, you’ll get there. Swear you got your father’s blood when it comes to that, not one proper Gilnean wants coffee.” A hand tousles Alyssa’s hair, “now tell me who you’re arguing with in your head, bunny, maybe we can work it through.”
“Kat.”
“Why? Somethin’ on yer mind?” Kat stands defiant in her living room, eyes narrowed, arms crossed over her chest. She looks as imposing and dangerous and beautiful and intense as ever. Alyssa gets lost a moment taking her in, before blinking away her thoughts.
“Yeah, things to say,” her reply, a bit of a shiver as the chill breeze brushes against her back and she realizes she’s standing in the open doorway to Kat’s living room, looking in.
“Say it then, like I haven’ done enough. What are you carryin’ that you didn’ already get out while I looked after you all week? Y’body is back, all whole again, paid m’debt just fine.” Kat’s voice is hostile, defensive, it’s the easiest way to picture it even in memory.
“Lot of games in life that’re fun t’play but I’m tired o’this one. No more dancin’ from me. I love you, but we both got problems,”
The door slams.
“Say it then, like I haven’ done enough. What are you carryin’ that you didn’ already get out while I looked after you all week? Y’body is back, all whole again, paid m’debt just fine.” Alyssa stands in the doorway of Kat’s home again, listening to her partner’s words.
“Lot of games in life that’re fun t’play but I’m tired o’this one,” she starts again. “No more dancin’ from me. I love you, and I’m not goin’ t’ask f’any kind o’commitment just now. Tell me one thing though...after I’m done visitin’ m’family, you want me to find a place t’stay, or should I come back ‘ere and get,”
The door slams.
“Say it then, like I haven’ done enough. What are you carryin’ that you didn’ already get out while I looked after you all week? Y’body is back, all whole again, paid m’debt just fine.” Kat’s voice is hostile, defensive, Alyssa doesn’t find it in herself to have another difficult conversation with her right now.
“Doesn’ matter after all. I’ll talk t’you later Kat...thanks f’puttin’ me back.”
The raven haired woman still in the living room hums her irritation at the response. “Whateva’, don’ get y’self killed again Alyssa. M’not fixin’ this again.”
“Doesn’t sound like you found the right conversation,” Valerie offers with sympathy in her feathery tones. “I told you she was a bad idea.”
Alyssa exhales a long slow sigh as she digs her fork into the large piece of overly frosting covered cake that sits between her and the Arcanist she still thinks of as her closest friend. “I know y’did, I thought...look it’s not like I thought I could change ‘er, I just thought we got t’a place in our relationship where we could ‘ave that conversation.”
“That place being the one where she killed you and trapped you in a dagger for months?” Valerie’s tone is not entirely kind, sardonic as she points out the obvious to her Warlock friend.
“Yeah well, I thought it brought us closer t’gether.” Hazel eyes cast down at the cake, hurt showing on her features.
“Some things never get to be close together,” she glances over her shoulder where Sino sits at a table inside from the patio they are on, ruffling Naralash’s ears. “Sometimes we get lucky, but most times we don’t and we have to get back up.”
“Well that’s a real pisser. She and I were a mess but I was still ‘appy with what we ‘ad.”
The words fall on deaf ears, as Alyssa sits in the silent woods on the stump once occupied by the wolf. No crickets, no stars in the night sky, just the surrounding mix of burned and regrowing trees, dried grasses, and silence. As time has passed, Alyssa has gotten quiet good at manipulating her subconscious space. Conjuring friends faces and voices, changing the environment. It never really lasts, it’s all from her memory, nothing is real. In the end, it’s always just the dark woods of her own making and her isolation.
“Hey,” Riley’s voice cuts through the silence, a real voice, someone not conjured from Alyssa’s spiralling mind. “Just getting ready for bed. Holding up in there today?”
Not entirely isolated. There’s a great deal that hangs unspoken between Alyssa and Riley now that the truth has come to light. Riley knows how Alyssa died. Who struck the final blow. In spite of that hanging between them, the woman takes the time to check in on Alyssa with a refreshing regularity. A link to reality. Her voice comes through a few times a day to make sure the Warlock in the dagger is never wholly lost in herself.
“Yeah, just a lot on my mind. Thanks for checking in, I appreciate it Riley, have a good night’s sleep.”
“You too, not that you- this is never going to not be strange is it? Goodnight Alyssa.” There’s warmth there, it seeps across the link putting Alyssa at ease.
“Goodnight Riley. Thanks again.” And once more Alyssa is alone. Whatever the conversations and arguments are to come, for now she feels safe enough. They’ll happen when they’ll happen, no use dwelling on them.
“Yeah, but I know how y’mind works. Still goin’ to.” Kat says from behind her.
“Yeah,” Alyssa chuckles softly. “Still goin’ to. Lot o’games in life that’re fun to play, but I’m tired o’this one...”
[ A bit of writing about Alyssa in the current moment. Mentions to @dardillien-ward; @kat-hawke; @the-real-arcanist-val; @blue-eyedraven ]
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Seon Adventures, Episode 34: The Journey to Tutum
When last we left off our adventurers, the party had prevented a duel to the death between Mournimar and a duelist, hired by his ex-boyfriend, follower of Potencia Lazarus, rescued a talking Celestial Warlock Dog named Samson by brutally overkilling a group of deserters from the war and reached the border of Aetorumia and the neighbouring lands.
In the evening, while Malak confronted Luctan over his past behavior and gifted him an Orb of Direction, Samson the Corgi nearly escaped with his life, avoiding a fight with the spirits ithat dwelled within the well he attempted to steal money from. In the morning, Malak would express his displeasure in the party’s actions against the ex-soldiers, empasionately as Malak would allow himself demanding that they could and should do better than this, before also gifting them items of their own.
A Pipe Of Rememberence for Jun, a Handy Spice Pouch for Belli and a Pot Of Awakening for Mournimar. He would then finish his meal outside, before the five + Samson would reconvene on their journeys...
To everyone’s surprise, however, at some point, while Malak bought a map, Luck made a 7 gold coin offering at the shrine and the rest restocked any provisions they might have sacrificed on the journey so far, Samson had trotted off on his own little adventure. A one dog army~!
After paying the Innkeeper handsomely for her food and donating for her establishment’s futue, the party would get in their carriage and, led by Kevin and Killer, make their way out the border town, their eyes taking in the massive expands of sands and dunes. No structures in sight, Malak being quite familiar to it. Having known this shit and the thought he’d said goodbye to it coming back to haunt him.
Before the group could leave on their weeks long journey, a laugh would catch their ears and as they’d turn their heads in the direction of the amused fellow, they’d see an aged orange haired man with a shit eating grin, making japes at the group for traveling as they appeared. In plates and leathers and all that sort of stuff.
Questioning the scarred man’s attitude, the party would note that he appeared off-proportioned in a way. Somewhat dwarven, but much taller. A Half-Dwarf!
While Jun asks him if he could guide them, which he planned to offer his services for the very pricey 2 PIECES OF GOLD FOR EACH SIDE OF THE TREK, Malak would recognize his colors as being of the Galorum army. Old enemies of Aeterumia, during the war. But to Malak, that was old news. Yesterday’s enemy was today’s ally and all that.
With a wooden leg and a confident demeanor, Arryn, as he introduces himself to the party and they back to him, appeared to be the kinda guy who just hopes for work. And work he finds as the party accept him on this long journey, to guide them and keep them from walking off the path.
It pretty quickly sets in on the team just how hot it can be in the desert. And the air itself was so thick. Extra THICK, even! It felt like there was led in the air or some thing at later evenings they’d spend out in the open. Temperatures being like under a blanket, but also nasty and humid.
The guide would mention it being left over bad energy from the war. The area is inflicted with the worst vibes. The vibes that took Arryn’s leg.
Days would pass. Weeks even as the group advanced through the dunes, past hills and rocks and rocks and small mountains around them, generally peacefully, with the exclusion of any foul business. Sure enough, Arryn was a trusted guide through these parts, getting them through the sands, to some more solid areas of rock and gravel.
The walk was a lot more even and paced from there, with the obvious dunes carrying on in the distance, but something would catch the travelers’ attention. Bones. They’d see lots of bones. Almost like a trail of them, leading to this sheer clear cliff face.
Investigating them, Malak would note that they were weirdly in tact, some of them. Dead and untouched. But there’s kind of a little curve around the corner, where the bone trail leads… He’d pick up a skull and cast “Speak With Dead”
“EYY!” the awoken skull would commence.
And the questions and answers would begin.
1. “How did you die?”- “Well, I was walking, right? And then there was this hot and cold stuff. And then it was just everywhere and it was really hot? And there was this big flappy beast behind me.”
2. What were you doing out here?” “Me and my friends were following a trail of bones and figured whatever did this’gotta be guarding some good shit.”
3. “Were you being guided by a peg legged man?” –“No, we didn’t get a guide. We thought it was a waste of treasure and had to share.”
4. “Did you have anything on you?” “I mean, we had our weapons and armor.”
5. “Is there anyone you’d like informed?” – “If me mate Chaz made it, he’s probably back at Havik by now.”
With the air of life leaving the skull, Malak would update the crew on his findings. From there, Jun would elect to poke the distracted Bard and suggest she send Orion to investigate the inner sanctum of the bone yard.
Orion slinks off and his body shrinks into the size of a normal cat, much to Belli’s amusement and the rest’s shock and awe.
He sneaks around the corner. Belli looks through his eyes. What happens is that he turns the corner and there’s this huge mammoth bone. Think elephant graveyard. He walks under that and he does a perceive... He steps out into the open, looks back where he came from and then Belli notices that the ground gets further away.
A pause. And poof. He’s gone.
Mournimar sneaks in, next, with a rope around his waist and careful maneuvering, feeling unseen as he makes his way through the yard, while Malak casts Aid on Arryn and the ladies. As the low armored part of the team.
With a careful eye, Mournimar sees the source of all these corpses. And as the Rogueish Ranger would raise his head up, the others would follow suit. And sea an Adult Blue Dragon, staring confusedly at his clawed mits, wondering where his quick little meal went. A great big fuck off blue dragon.
Electing to avoid a fight with the dragon, for now, the group would carefully maneuver their way back to the carriage and do a big twist to avoid being directly seen by the dragon as they’d carry on and cross a river, along the way..
One evening, during shifts, Luctan taking the first... the disguised tiefling would wake Jun and ask her for her presense during his watch. The two would hold a private conversation, regarding Jun’s offer to hear him out, where they’d discuss the matter of trust, personal insecurities and pain, the understanding of pain and treatment of pain... Capping things off with a genuine interest in learning how to carry on, after a tragedy, something which the unmasked red tiefling had trouble getting to terms with.
By the end of the 1st watch, Luctan and Jun would come to an understanding and carry on with talks when the time allowed it. But until then, Luck would wake Mournimar to follow through with the second sentry outlook, while he rested.
Mournimar’s watch would be uneventful, compared to what had occured in his dreams... Something he’d share with Belli, when the first signs of morning would come up.
The enthusiastic cook would poke for information, which the Tiefling Ranger would share, regailing Belli with a tale of his dream, wherein he was visited, or more like... found himself in Jorzoth’s office. One of the Archdevils had brought him in for a 1 on 1 pow-wow, where in he’d inform the archer of Lazarus’ intentions with the duelist.
Lazarus had intened, through this duel, for Mournimar to best his contractor as a means to check in on his ex.
...
To say that this is a weird way of checking on your ex, would be an understatement. And yet, that was the story he’d tell, through bites of an omlette.
In Mournimar’s own words, the break up and Potencia really changed him. Lazarus? He’s someone in need of praise. He used to be good and he was never like this before Potencia. There were... clear regrets there, in Mournimar’s mind and heart.
But Belli would protest to this thinking as you can’t change someone, who doesn’t want to change. While Mournimar doesn’t want him to be like how Mournimar was as a child, Belli reminds her friend that Lazarus is an adult, It’s his choice to make.
Breakfast is had amongst the group and Arryn remarks that this is the best hospitality he’s had. Ever.
From there? They’d venture forth and Malak tries to call Chaz. With a D100 he Sends a message to the dude. He gives him the full story, as best as possible. Chaz is sad, but the funeral was done already. He regets the nasty stuff he’s said over the year. But is greatful. Godspeed!
Drawing near to a river, Luctan would give Belli her pot. Like. Literal pot that had been in his posession for about a month now, give or take. Within one of the ceramic pots there were 10 silver ball bearings, each spelling a letter in Belli’s name.
And in turn, Belli would give Luck 5 smoke bombs. And she’d even show him her stash of a variety of bombs. Which she had been planning on using with the help of Orion as a dive bomber.
Stupified by his friend’s madcap ideas, Luck would be quiet for the most part during the next part of the journey as they’d cross over the river on a bridge and go through a town, populated by kobolds of different scales.
Initially weary of the group, they’d soon enough relax and observe, even follow them along as the party carried on through the town, when Malak appied his knowledge of the Draconic tongue, holding a friendly conversation with the locals, while Luck used his Prestidigitation to create funny images and smells for the kids.
As the town of Odum generally doesn’t generally get visitors, the party are kind of a treat to them. Through the talk, a kind of friendship forms with the Kobold settlement and the party learn that the dragon of the desert was quite the nasty one. Every time they’d send someone over to check what his demeanor was, they’d have to send another one, to check as well, because no one ever came back.
Mental note.
In the midst of this conversation, Jun would make friends with two of the littlest kobold kids, who’d climb on her and ask her all kinds of questions. Like why her face was the way it was. She’d happily use her shapeshifting power to appear like a Golden Dragonborn, much to the kids’ amusment.
With friendship in their heardts, the party would eventually carry on, venturing forth! Arryn would warn them that the next week is just gonna be desert. There’s a lake at some point, but that’s our lot.
While the week’s travel carries on, Belli shows off her vocal skills as she speaks in a few new languages she had picked. Among which was Dwarven, much to Luck’s shock. And frustration. ‘cause it took him 3 years to learn that on his own!
(”What? Like it’s hard.”)
Arryn, however, upon hearing Belli speak in Dwarven turns pale. When asked if he’s ok, the half-dwarf would reveal that anyone’d be shocked on hearing a nearly dead language.
In one day the dwarves and dragonborn in the area died off. Green evil magic took then down. Arryn survived, because he is part human. Malak knows this to be the effect of the Blight spell, but on a major level.
Jun suggests Steamroot to help with the pain. Her partner was hit with that spell and it had helped manage that. Arryn’s greatful for the suggestion.
They’d venture forth, once more, parallel to the main road. Mournimar asks about why we’re not on the main road. Bad things, ghosts, appear on the main road. Ghosts of the Dragonborn, particularly dangerous spirits. Spirits are his expertise and avoiding them is where the expertise is at.
One particular night, deep into their expedition, Arryn asks them over a warm evening meal where exactly they were headed. Not to Tutum itself, right?
The party reveal some of what they’re after, but that seems to be more than enough for Arryn to put 2 and 2 together.
“Of course, it’d make sense for them to eventually send someone to clean their tracks.” he’d remark, which in turn would push the party to question him on what he meant.
Arryn would say that it was never confirmed, but implied that the Council was involved in what happened to the dwarves and dragonborn. According to him, as he’d elaborate on events from the battle, as he was a soldier at the time, two dragons were in on the plan. One was dragged off to Guan and the other slain by the King’s Blade, which was burried within the tomb, onward.
Before anyone can stop her, a furious Belli’d send a message to River, demanding answers that she wasn’t even sure of the Halfling would have.
A hurt River would reply back with as much as she claimed to know, which was that this was a private job being done for a benefactor she couldn’t disclose. Upset, she’d question if Belli mistrusted her now?!
A debate is held on how to proceed.
Ultimately, the party agree to go talk to the sword and get the facts straight. From there they’d see where they’d go..
Arryn would remark with surprise on how quickly they’d trust what he had to say had any truth to it.
As the journey continued, they’d avoid the ghost town. Like. Town of ghosts. And keep going and going to a cave with funky carving.
There are carvings of a Tiefling with a big, big chonky sword. Fighting a dragon. An outline of an army that kind of fades and half of them disappear...
Underneath this is this really fine intricate dwarven lettering and runes. As we get to the shrine, we end the session.
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Teatv-icu - Not For Everyone
The Most Effective Android Applications
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If Only You Knew - 15/19
Description: You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him, and everything else that happened on that horrible night. Who would have knew that your prom would end up being a total disaster, and the very last night you’d spend in Buckhannon for the next 7 years? you certainly didn’t. That’s for sure.
Catch up HERE.
Word Count: 5,210 ish.
Pairing: Modern!Steve Rogers x Reader.
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Violence. Drinking. Bad and offensive jokes. Possible triggering thoughts, feelings and emotions. Moments of bullying and harsh name calling. Lots of curse words. And a very sloooow burn.
A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.
July 2018 - Present.
You stand in your room, giving yourself a final once over. Tonight was Nat and Bucky’s Bachelor/Bachelorette party. They had both opted to leave it to the last minute so you could be apart of it. And as Buckhannon really wasn’t that big, they’d also decided to just have a joint party as well. Make it one big, final hurrah to the unmarried life for them both.
You glance at the clock on the wall quickly, checking to see just how much time you had left before Hilde, Nat and Wanda arrived to pick you up. 15 minutes. You walk over to your desk and grab your lipstick, it was your favourite shade and you never went anywhere without it. You stand back in front of the full length mirror and apply it, that being the final touch you needed. Then you pick up your clutch off the bed and put the lipstick inside before closing it and heading downstairs to wait for them.
Your heels click on the floor as you make your way into the kitchen, where your dad is sitting at the island counter. Paperwork spread out in front of him, clearly working on the shop’s accounts. If his mumbled curse words and dramatic sighs are anything to go off of. He hated, with every fibre of this being, having to deal with all the background stuff to do with the shop. All he really wanted to do was work on cars, but he was far too stubborn for his own good.
“You know,” you start off slowly, “there are these wonderful things called ‘assistants’. All you have to do is hire them, pay and treat them well, and they will actually handle most—if not all—of the background stuff.” You finish just as you come to stand in front of him.
He scoffs, “please. I don’t need an assistant, they’d have nothing to do.”
“They’d have a ton to do, if you’d just stop being a control freak and delegate tasks off to them.” You shrug, but can’t contain the cheeky grin.
“I am not a control freak,” he laughs, “I just like things done a certain way.”
“Yup,” you pop the p, “that is exactly what a control freak would say.”
He goes to talk then notices your outfit, “you look beautiful, kiddo. Do you have a ride home from High Life?”
“Good conversation change,” you shake your head, fondly, “and I’ll just cab back.” You glance down at your outfit, “think it’s too casual?”
“No, not at all,” he shakes his head, “but you’re taking a jacket though, right?”
“Dad, it’s the middle of July, in Virginia. I’ll be fine without one.”
He shrugs, “it’s my job as a dad to worry about you getting cold.” He pauses, “so you’re taking a jacket, yeah?”
You laugh, “fine, fine.” And walk over to the entry closet, pulling out a lightweight cream bomber jacket, then head back into the kitchen. Showing the jacket to your ridiculous dad once you get there, “happy?”
He hums his approval and nods. “So, when are the ladies getting here?”
And as if on queue, your phone buzzes and you take it out of your clutch to quickly check the message. Seeing ‘We’re outside, sexy.’ From Hilde. You laugh to yourself then walk towards your dad, “now,” you say as you give him a quick side hug and a kiss on the cheek, then head towards the front door. “I’ll see you later.”
“Be safe, and text me if you need anything!” He calls from his place in the kitchen.
“Will do!” You say back as you do a quick check of your clutch, making sure you have everything then head out to the car.
“Get in loser,” Nat says from the passenger seat, “we’re going to the bar!” Then she bursts out laughing at her own joke.
“A Mean Girls reference, really?” You laugh and shake your head, then pull open the back door, and climb in. “I’m guessing Nat is already into the sauce?”
Wanda and Hilde laugh, as the latter pulls away from the curb, glancing in the rear view mirror at you quickly while she says, “try damn near bathing in it.”
“Oh God,” you mumble, “she’s gonna be fall down drunk in no time.”
“You do know I’m sitting right here, correct?” Nat glances back at you with a raised eyebrow.
You pat her head affectionately from your spot behind her, “of course we do, silly. We just don’t care.” Then you, Hilde and Wanda burst out laughing.
“Bitches,” Nat mumbles and swats your hand away. “I need new friends.”
“Oh please, you love us,” Wanda scoffs and shakes her head, disbelievingly.
“We just have to pick Rebecca up then we can head to High Life,” Hilde says as she shoulder checks and switches lanes.
“Sounds good,” you reply.
You all chat and joke the whole way to Clint’s house—where Rebecca, Barney and James Jr are currently staying—to scoop Rebecca and then onwards to the bar.
Once Hilde is parked you all hop out and head in, finding a large table near the back and ordering appies and drinks. You learned the boys hadn’t arrived yet as they were pre-drinking at Steve’s place and would be heading over shortly. They’d wanted to give the girls a little bit on their own. To chat, gossip and catch up. Which is exactly what you all do. Emphasis on ‘gossip’.
“So what the hell is this Madeleine and Tony bullshit?” You ask the question that has been bouncing around in your mind since the bridal party, as you glance around at the 3 ladies.
“Oh God,” Wanda groans, “where do we even start?” She looks over at Nat and Hilde.
“Now I’m not sure if this is true or not,” Nat starts, “but from what I’ve heard from Bucky it started out as a fling. They were both at some function together. Liquor was involved, obviously, and they,” she cringes, “slept together. And then things just sort of went from there.”
“Yeah, my guess is he was the closest she could get to Steve, so she took it,” Hilde adds with a cringe of her own.
“I also heard Tony always liked her, and that she is only with him for his money,” Rebecca says as she takes a sip of her drink.
“I see Buckhannon’s drama has reached New York now,” you laugh.
Rebecca winks at you, “only because I’m friends with Penelope’s little sister.”
“Oh shit, that’s right! How is Lizzy?” You ask her.
She shrugs, “good. Married now.”
“Damn,” you turn to glance around the table at the others. “Looks like I’m a dying breed now. The only single one left in the group,” you pause, then mumble, “maybe even the whole damn town.”
“No, not the only one,” Nat looks at you with a cheeky as fuck expression on her face, and you know the next words out of her mouth are going to be fucking hilarious—note the sarcasm. She takes a smug sip of her drink, which you didn’t even know was possible to do, then she adds with a wink, “Steve’s still very single.”
You gape at her for just a moment, because you didn’t expect those words to leave her mouth—wait, who are you kidding? You knew damn well she was going to say something involving Steve, because it’s Nat. Let’s be real, she never misses a chance to try to push Steve on you. It’s rather frustrating because you’d honestly love nothing more then to have Steve entirely to yourself. But the reality is, he sees you as just a friend, maybe even still like a little sister? Who even knows anymore, honestly.
Now don’t get this wrong, you know you’re a pretty woman, you aren’t blind to the attention you get now. But you also aren’t stupid, you know that it’s really damn hard to get out of the friends zone. Shit, you are like the Queen of the damn friend zone. You’ve only been in Steve’s friend zone for like 9 years, no big deal or anything.
You snort at Nat’s words, “yeah, okay, but that doesn’t really help me,” you gesture to yourself, then a thought crosses your mind, “what I don’t get is why?”
“Why?” Hilde asks, confused.
“Sorry, I should have clarified. I meant why the hell is someone like Steve still single?” You look around at the women in front of you, “I don’t get why no one has snatched him up yet. It makes no sense.”
The girls all share a strange look, as if having a non verbal conversation about something. Something you clearly aren’t in the loop for, which is odd. You’re always in the loop with these girls, even with living 11 hours away for the last 7 years.
Wanda is the first to break the weird awkward silence, when she looks to you and says, “he’s just been waiting for the right one.”
You nod, slowly, “that makes sense, I guess.” And it does, sort of—“But how does he expect to find ‘the right one’ if he isn’t even looking?”
Hilde speaks up this time, “because he already knows exactly what he wants, so now he just needs to lock that down.”
Okay, this whole conversation is confusing as hell. Everything they are saying sounds like a double meaning. Which is fucking weird. “What does that even mean?” You mumble then a realization hits you. “Wait, are you saying there is a woman in town that he likes? One he wants to actually be with?”
And wait, why the hell does saying those words hurt so much? I mean, yeah, when you thought Steve was engaged to Madi you may have flipped out a little—okay, that’s a lie, you flipped out a lot—but you assumed that was because it was Madi. Because you feared he would be forever tied to that she-witch. And you desperately want him to be happy in life, that is the honest to God truth.
But then why do you feel this odd feeling? Like your heart is constricting, yet your blood is boiling. Are you fucking jealous right now? Oh girl, you have no right to be jealous. Seriously. You don’t even really have a right to ask about his love life. Let alone be upset by the fact he actually has one. You were the one who left him behind all those years ago. You were the one who stripped your rights to know and be privy to his life. Give your damn head a shake, woman. Ridiculous.
“I wouldn’t say ‘likes’, it’s a little more than that,” Nat says, and you swear she’s eyeing you, carefully? “But yeah, there is.”
Okay yup, yeah, that was for sure the feeling of jealousy. Now you know that for sure. You feel your heart break just a little, and you’re sure your lips twitched into a frown before you could correct it and force a smile on your face. “Well, I’m ah, I’m happy for him,” you nod once as if to trick them into believing your words are true. “I hope he doesn’t wait around too long though. He might miss out on her.”
Nat scoffs, and you just barely hear her mumble what sounds a lot like a very sarcastic, “‘now’s not really a good time.’”
Wanda lightly elbows Nat’s side under the table, and you assume she didn’t want anyone to notice, but you saw it. You furrow your brows at that but decide to just leave it there, you really want to enjoy this night and if you have to be subjected to anymore ‘Steve’s in love with someone’ talk, you know for a fact your mood will be ruined for the night. And there won’t be any hope of salvaging it.
But before anyone can fix the now awkward tension lingering in the air around you all, Wanda adds, “we all hope so to. They’d honestly be perfect for each other.”
And yup, hearing that sucked. A lot. But you’ll live. Mostly.
And then Hilde—that beautiful fucking woman, who you could honestly kiss in this very moment—swiftly changes the subject, “I say we do some shots!”
Amazing idea, Hilde! And this is exactly why she’s your favourite.
“I second that!” You cheerfully say as you flag the waitress down to order a round of shots.
You all then just continue to drink and catch up, talking about life and work for a while, and ordering a few more rounds of drinks as you do.
About 45 minutes after you’d all arrive at the bar Nat mumbles, “well fuck,” out of nowhere as she stares at something behind you. “Okay, now don’t all look at once, but guess who just fucking walked in.”
Completely disregarding her warning you all look, at the same time, “I said not all at once!” She hisses. But it’s too late. Your eyes land on Brock walking into the bar with Johann and Baron. You quickly spin back around, hoping he hadn’t seen you.
“Fuck,” you murmur and take a long swig of your drink, finishing it off, “of all the fucking people.”
“Are you gunna be okay, Y/N?” Wanda leans in to ask you quietly.
“We can go somewhere else if you want?” Hilde offers.
Then Nat adds, “yeah, it’s really no bother to us. We’d just have to give the guys a heads up that there is a change in plans.”
You wave them off, “no, no. I’ll be fine. I’m sure he won’t even notice us.”
“Okay,” Wanda says reluctantly, “if you’re sure.”
“I am,” you nod. Buuuuut it’s a lie, you just don’t want to inconvenience everyone by forcing them to relocate because of your past drama. Plus there isn’t really anywhere else in town to go, besides a few small lounges and a seedy, roadside truck stop. Where you’d all probably end up in a far worst situation. Nope, no, we will stay right here. It’s been 7 fucking years, time to get over the past. Once and for all.
The girls all nod then pick up their conversations again, however just seeing him drags up old memories and you find yourself zoning out. Remembering the last time Brock unexpectedly showed up at a party you were at…
July 2011 - 7 years ago.
It was Independence Day and Steve’s 18th birthday party, and Clint’s house was freaking PACKED with damn near the whole school—And yes, you said Clint’s house. Sam had started planning Steve’s party like always, and then quickly learned that Clint’s parents would actually be away over that weekend, so he commandeered Clint’s place. That’s a lie, he did get Barney’s permission first, so I guess that’s not so much commandeering but more like borrowing? Can one even actually borrow a house? Who knows.
But either way, here you were, surrounded by your whole damn school. And honestly you didn’t think it was even possible to fit this many people into one house. But then again, the Barton house wasn’t exactly a normal sized home. There was a reason it was called The Barton Estate. The place was freaking massive.
You’d arrived with the usual suspects, the birthday boy included—shocker, I know!—but within minutes of arriving Steve had been dragged off by his football buddies to play beer pong. As per usual.
You kept tabs on where Steve was, which was also ‘as per usual’, but let him just have time with his teammates. Mainly because trying to prevent a whole damn football team from stealing your best friend was actually impossible. You knew that. Plus he had promised to come find you ‘all’ later, though you knew he’d directed that comment mainly at you.
But regardless of that you had been having a wonderful night with the rest of your friends, so far. That is, until Nat elbowed you gently and subtly nodded her head towards the front door. You turned and watched as Madi, Penelope and Kiara all entered the home.
You cringed then quickly turned back to your friends, “who the fuck invited them?” You pointedly glared at Sam.
Who, in turn, put his hands up defensively, “don’t look at me! This isn’t my house and I didn’t invite her.”
You narrowed your eyes at him for a few more seconds then shifted your heated glare towards Clint, who also put his hands up in defence, “I didn’t invite her either.”
“She probably just heard about the party from someone else. Seeing as the whole damn school is here, after all,” Bucky mumbled and also shot a glare pointedly at Sam. Buck was never a fan of large crowds.
“I can’t help it if everyone loves Steve,” Sam shakes his head. “You try telling people they can’t come to his party. They get all pouty and shit, man. And I don’t know how to handle pouty people!” He throws his hands up in defeat, “they always just look so damn sad, like little lost puppies and it breaks my heart! Okay! I’m sorry!”
“Sammy, it’s fine,” Hilde says through a laugh. “No one’s mad at you.”
“Ah,” you pipe up and raise a finger in the air, “I am.” But your barely contained smirk gives away that you’re joking.
“That’s fine, you’re always mad. So that’s nothing new,” Sam shrugs but then bursts out laughing, “shit, I tried to keep a straight face there. But I just couldn’t.”
“So rude!” You pout.
“Way to go, asshole,” Bucky pats him on the back, but it’s not in comfort.
“Oh shit!” Sam says as he lunges for you and pulls you into a bear hug. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I was only joking! You’re never really mad,” he pauses, “it’s actually kinda weird,” he notes as he trails off.
“You totally do have a weakness to the pout!” You laugh loudly, “I need to remember this for the future.”
He pulls back from the hug and gasps, “you tricked me?!” You nod enthusiastically and he releases you fully, “now that was rude!”
“Oh you’ll live!” You giggle but it quickly dies in your throat as you watch Madi approach Steve on the other side of the room. Your stomach is instantly in knots as she whispers something in his ear and he nods then leads her out of the room.
“The fuck,” you mumble and everyone turns to see them exiting the room together.
“Where the hell are they going?” Nat says from beside you.
“What could they possibly have to talk about?” Hilde adds.
You swallow down the bile climbing up your throat and attempt a nonchalant shrug, which probably didn’t come off as that, at all. Considering you were freaking the fuck out on the inside. “Beats me,”
you say as you peel your eyes away from the door they had just walked through, and notice everyone now staring at you. “What?” You ask and they all mumble a, “nothing,” in unison.
They all continue talking about Steve and Madi going off together, alone, but you do your best to ignore the conversation. As just listening to it is making it worse for you. So you decide to people watch instead. At least it’s better then just standing there in stunned silence, staring at the door, waiting for them to walk back through it.
Once your friends move on to a different topic, you tune back in, slightly. Enough to add in here and there at least, and to keep them from noticing your complete change in demeanour. Though you figured they’d probably all noticed it anyways, but being the amazing friends they were, none of them mentioned it.
After what felt like days, but was probably only 15 minutes, they still hadn’t come back. And your gut was in even more knots with every passing minute. Where the fuck are they? “I’m gonna go get another drink,” you abruptly say and then walk off before anyone can say a word.
You look around the whole way to the kitchen, searching for that giant everywhere. But then you reach the kitchen, without so much as a glimpse of him, anywhere. And now you are even more worried and upset. You numbly make a drink and then chug it. Only to then make another drink. But before you can chug that one you feel a tap on your shoulder and you swing around, hoping it’s Steve.
However, the second you see who it actually is, your heart drops more. It’s not that you’re upset to see Brock standing there, it’s just that you were hoping it was your favourite giant, more.
“Hey,” he smiles.
“Hey,” you return the gesture as best you can.
“How’s your night going?” He asks as he takes a sip of his drink.
“Good. Good. Fine,” you say quickly and nod, causing him to laugh. “You?”
“Better now,” he gives you a wink and a once over, and it’s strange for you to have a guy seemingly interested in you. But you’re not gonna lie, it’s a nice feeling.
“Ah,” you pause, “you excited for prom?” Really? That’s you making small talk?! You internally facepalm at how awkward you are around guys.
“It’s funny you should ask, as I was just coming over here to see if you had a date to prom?”
“Me?” You question, slightly caught off guard. He nods and you shake your head, “ah, nope. No. No date to prom yet.”
“Well, what would you say to me taking you?”
“You?” You gape, now utterly caught off guard.
He laughs, “yeah, me.”
“Ah,” you pause, you’d secretly been hoping Steve would ask you, even just as a friend, as he’d yet to ask anyone and he’d made such a big deal out of you being his date for the winter formal. But with prom being 2 weeks away now, you were assuming if he was going to ask, that he’d ask soon. Hopefully.
“Can I get back to you on that?” You ask then kick yourself internally. How rude was that! You quickly add, “not that I wouldn’t like going with you, I just wasn’t really planning on going and ah,” you search for an excuse, “I don’t have a dress for it.” Horrible excuse. Do better. “Plus, I’d have to talk to my dad,” you pause. This isn’t going well. At all. “About going, I mean. Make sure he’s okay with it,” you say as you finally clamp your mouth shut. Wow, way to go, Y/N. Cause that wasn’t awkward as fuck. Damnit.
He just stares at you for a moment, then a smirk graces his lips, “that’s fine. Ask your dad and get back to me.”
“Yup. Will do.”
“Well, have a fun night, Y/N. I hope to hear from you soon,” he winks and then walks away. Leaving you standing there like a fish out of water. What the fuck just happened?! You shake your head and take a few giant gulps of your drink before topping it up and heading back to your friends.
“Where’d you run off to?” Nat questions, with a smirk on her face. You swear she can read body language like a damn spy. Though you’d bet you look like you’d just seen a freaking ghost.
“Ah, just went to get a drink,” you reply.
“Was that Brock we saw chatting with you?” Wanda asks.
“Just now?”
“No, Y/N, last week,” Hilde says sarcastically as she rolls her eyes, “yes, just now.”
“Ah, yup. Mhmm,” you hum, “he ah, he asked me to prom.”
“What?!” They all exclaim at the same time then glance around at each other, as if they all know something you don’t before turning back to you.
“What did you say back?!” Nat damn near yells.
“How did he ask?!” Wanda questions.
“Did you accept?!” Bucky says at the same time.
“Are you going with him?!” Hilde says directly after. Clint and Sam both don’t say a word, and instead they just gape at you, like you’d just told them superheroes were real.
“Jesus, guys. One at a time,” you shake your head. “I didn’t accept yet,” you pause. Shit, you can’t exactly tell them the reason behind why you didn’t accept. Sooo looks like you’re going to reuse excuses here. “I have to talk to my dad first. Plus I don’t even have a dress.”
“Do you want to go with him?” Sam asks after a moment, when no one else has even so much as uttered a word.
You shrug, “I duno, I don’t exactly have suitors lining up at my door. He will probably be the only person to ask me, and I guess going with him is better then going to prom alone. So yeah, maybe I do want to go with him.”
“But it’s Brock,” Bucky mumbles and receives an elbow to the side from Nat. They share a weird look between them and then Nat turns to you and smiles as she says, “well, if you want to go with him, then I say do it.”
You nod, “I’m going to get back to him later, ah, after I talk to my dad. Brock said that was fine.”
Everyone nods, but mostly all stay quiet. It’s fucking awkward as hell, and for the first time since joining this group of friends, you feel utterly lost and completely left out. They all seem to know something you don’t and that bugs the hell out of you. “What am I missing?” You question them all as you glance between them.
“Nothing,” they all say in unison, again.
“I’m gonna go make another drink,” Bucky says abruptly, which causes you to narrow your eyes at him. Like you didn’t know what that action meant. Shit, you’d just pulled the same move on them not even 20 minutes ago. He was hiding something. Now you knew it for sure.
“I’ll join you,” Nat adds, Hilde and Sam nod that they will as well, and then they all head off towards the kitchen. Leaving you even more confused, and skeptical that it isn’t just ‘nothing’ like they all claimed.
You turn to Wanda and Clint, with a ‘the fuck was that?’ look and they both just shrug. You can’t shake this weird gut feeling, and it puts you on edge.
You glance around the room and finally catch a glimpse of Steve, and instantly you start to feel a little better.
That is, until you then notice Madi directly beside him. They were standing side by side, and Madi keeps putting her hands all over Steve, and that was the final straw for you. Without a word you turned and headed for the front door, chugging the last of your drink as you go then placing your empty cup on a side table along the way.
Fuck this party, you just want to go home. So without even telling anyone, you leave. If they can all keep shit from you, then you can too. And by the time you made it out the front door you were pissed off, hurt and utterly over this stupid night. You ended up walking the whole way home as you needed the fresh air to help clear your head. It didn’t work, but it was worth a shot.
Once home, you got into PJ’s and checked your phone. You had a bunch of missed texts and calls from everyone, except Steve. All of them were basically just your friends wondering where you went. You texted Wanda saying you were fine and had just gone home, then texted Steve to wish him a happy birthday one last time, and to say goodnight. As was your thing. And even though you were upset at him, you couldn’t not. It was his birthday, after all.
You woke up the next morning to more messages from your friends, but still nothing from Steve. Which was odd as he always texted you to say goodnight. No matter what. Even if he was halfway around the world, or had only just dropped you off 20 minutes before, he’d still always text you. It wasn’t like him to not text. Nor was it like him to not thank someone for birthday wishes. He was always polite, sometimes to a ridiculous level. But to not even say anything back?! That wasn’t like him at all.
But you’d learn just how much he’d changed that night soon enough.
Present - July 2018.
“Shit, incoming,” Nat whispers loudly, pulling you back to the present. And you didn’t even need to turn to know what she meant by that.
You stand abruptly, “I’m gonna go get a drink.” Then you damn near run to the bar, in the hopes you could avoid an encounter with Brock and his gang of friends.
Once you reached the bar, and ordered a drink, you glance over your shoulder and see them still standing by your table talking to the girls. Looks like they hadn’t noticed you, or if they did, they hadn’t followed you, which is all you could have hoped for. Honestly.
The bartender puts the drink on the counter and you turn back to accept it. You decide to hang at the bar till they leave your table and head back to their own. Shouldn’t take long with Hilde there, she’d tell them to fuck off shortly.
You keep your back to them and sip your drink, glancing behind you every few minutes to see if they were gone yet.
“Long time no see,” you hear a nasty voice coo behind you. A voice that would forever be etched into your mind, no matter how hard you tried to forget it.
You cringe then turn around, “not long enough though.”
His eyes drag down then back up your body, until they reach yours and then he smirks that vile smirk you also remember, completely. “Oh, don’t be like that,” he takes a step closer to you, “especially not when you look this fucking good. Damn, Y/N, you grew up nicely.”
He places his hand on the bar beside you, effectively caging you in between him, the bar and a stool. Not really giving you an escape route, which triggers flashbacks of prom to begin running through your head, and then your blood runs cold. Causing a chill to rip down your spin and the hairs on the back of your neck to stand tall.
You attempt to push the stool back to gain some distance from him, but it only moves about an inch. Basically until it bumps in to the stool beside it and then refuses to go any further. Which doesn’t really give you anymore room to work with. “Can you back the fuck up.”
“You’re more feisty then I remember,” he leans in a bit to whisper, “I like em feisty.”
You freeze, completely lost for words and, and, and, the fucking nerve on this guy. How fucking dare he! You were just about to slap him—or something, you hadn’t quite figured that part out just yet—for his vile comments, when a growled voice behind him both startles you and calms you.
“I believe she asked you to step away from her.”
Steve. It was Steve.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
@hopefulmoonobject @caps-lockdown @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @tessvillegas @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang @giggleberts @casuallydarktiger @theonelittleone @agentbadbitch @ratwrites @starrystellars @bandsandanimefreak @rockyroadthepastryarchy @lovvliies @cuffski @icesoccerer @alwaysright4 @lilsthethrills @imdiegohargreeves @zombiepotterfour @mu-mu-rs @ledandan1244 @straightforwardly @badassbeckettswan @denzmallows @xremember-me-notx @gwynethjodie @lollipopdomination @capstopavenger @jemimah-b99 @rcvenqers @justkending @marvel13princess @alagalaska @silent-loucidity
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when love must die pt2: joe mazzello
note: if you want to be tagged on my permanent taglist, make sure to message or ask me!
I'll just cope with Roger Taylor one shots because I get super inspired
masterlist (there's part one, everything's organised)
warnings: tissues
words: 1,939
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night when Joe and you made love, it was the night you'd stay pregnant. The first trimester was extremely hard for you. The headaches, the sleep deprivation for many nights, the nausea and the vomits exhausted you but you knew it would pay off at the end. You never fought again after the next day. You were both so excited to welcome to your world the newborn.
You were seven months pregnant by now. You still couldn't believe how natural it happened. After doing the test with all these suspicious symptoms you were finally sure about your pregnancy. You enjoyed caressing your tummy and playing with the fetus inside you. Joe was extremely happy, he couldn't miss a chance without sitting or laying next to you and talk to the baby.
The doctor warned you, it would be a difficult period for you and the fetus. You had to be home until the day you'd give birth, your organism couldn't handle the previous fertilisations so it disposed them like it was some random microbe. Maybe after all these known procedures, your organism accepted the fact you wanted a baby, so it produced antibodies. Organism are you okay hun?
"Baby, I'm home." Joe came back home.
"Hello!" You greeted him after checking him on the door. You were at the couch laid, watching tv. "How was your day?"
"Boring, I was counting the hours down to come back home and see you." He smiled and sit over your legs, having them at his thighs and of course he tickled your big tummy so the baby would react but you did too. "Hey little buddy!" Joe leaned at your belly smiling.
Your finger tickled that area and the baby kicked. His little foot could be seen. Joe and you laughed in awe.
"Your daddy's here! Did you miss me?" He smiled at the tummy and the baby was joyfully kicking.
"We missed you!" You said smiling and he leaned to your lips, kissing you.
"Can't wait to see this kid running among us." He laughed.
The baby was kicking from joy to nervousness. It was kicking like crazy. It wasn't a wonderful feeling but a painful one.
"What's wrong?" He seriously asked watching you in pain.
"It's kicking nervously." You closed your eyes in pain. "It's okay, baby, please stop." You caressed your stomach trying to calm it down. You almost teared from pain.
"What do you want me to do? Are you alright? Joe lost it seeing you crying by now.
"Fuck..." You moaned in pain. "It's kicking. I am hurting." You complained.
He caressed your hand trying to relax you but his gaze was stuck to your pants, at your privates area. His eyes were wide opened. He was shocked.
"What is it?" You asked in terror.
"Y/N, you're wet down there." He touched some of the liquids over your pants, trying to figure out the smell. "It's not pee but are these from the baby? Is... Is it blood?" He nervously asked and you were on the edge on having a panic attack. "Calm down! We're going at the hospital! Don't move!" He caressed your cheek and picked you up on bridal style, taking you out to your car. He placed you at the back seat and after getting at his seat, he started driving frantically.
"Joe I'm scared." You whimpered and you felt more blood exiting your vagina.
"Don't be, love! Maybe it's coming earlier than we thought!" He hold your hand while driving, he didn't want to lose your touch.
After ten minutes you were at the hospital. He got you at his arms again, running fastly to reach the maternity department. Two nurses brought a bed and led you to the emergency services.
"What's wrong?" The nurse asked.
"I don't know, she was just laying and the water broke, I guess?" He said confused.
"In which month is she?" She added.
"Seventh." Joe was sweating, ready to cry.
"Alright, we'll let you know in a few. Just give your personal information at the reception." she calmly said and went at the surgery in where they got you in.
"Full anaesthesia in eight, seven, six..." You felt weak as the seconds reached four. You had no idea what was going on. You didn't even have the time to hear Joe's soft words before leaving you here.
Joe was out there, praying to God to keep you and the baby safe. It was a difficult pregnancy, you both knew about it but why so sudden? A difficulty can't be shown so suddenly. It all went so well. He was sitting at the chair crying, seeing the doctor and the nurses running and working hard in there. He had no idea what was going on and neither did you. Especially you. He had to call his best friend and your brother, Ben.
"Hey man, what's up?" He asked unconsciously.
"Run to the hospital now! It's y/n! She's at the surgery!" He frantically said with his voice shaking.
"What the fuck, I'm on my way!" He immediately hang up the phone.
After five minutes, the doctor came outside. Joe stood up like an elastic material.
"How's she? What's happening?" Joe asked the doctor, nervous.
"Internal bleeding and inside the surgery, turned out external from the vagina." Doctor neutrally nodded his head.
"H-how? It was all normal an hour ago!" Joe lost it.
"It's called placental abruption. It's a very rare case at this stage. It's usually happening at the first trimester. I'm afraid it's difficult." He was pessimistic and Joe could read his expression.
"How can this happen?" He asked.
"Maybe the fetus kicked strong enough... There's no stable answer to that." The doctor replied.
"How's the baby?" it was the only thing he could say.
"We are trying to save its life. A placenta abruption, causes oxygen loss to the fetus's environment. It's God now..." He left and went back to you, trying to save the remaining. You. The baby was actually gone. It died before exiting your vagina. They were trying to save you now from septicaemia.
Ben arrived minutes later, seeing Jon being a total mess. He sat next to him nervous. Joe couldn't stop crying thinking of the worst.
"How's she?" He asked placing his hand around Joe's shoulder.
"I don't know... They're trying to save the baby." Joe moved his head nervously.
"But h-how did it happen?" He asked confused.
"We were just at the living room, I just came home by then and we were tickling the baby and it suddenly started kicking strongly, that caused pain to y/n until I saw blood at her pants." Joe narrated.
"And how does the doctor call it?" Ben asked searching for your body.
"Placental abruption." He silently said. "If they die...-"
"They won't die! Everything's going to be alright! It's just a hard time!" Ben supported his friend.
"I can't live without her." Joe cried.
"Me neither. She's my older sister. I love her." Ben started crying. "I didn't even tell our mother she's at the hospital right now. She'd have a cardiac arrest." Ben implored.
"You did good Ben. It's just us." Joe nodded his head, hugging his pal.
An hour passed and a nurse came out. Joe and Ben stood up, going to her place asking for answers.
"Why is no one telling us a thing? How's she? I want to know!" Joe desperately shouted and Ben looked at him shocked, so did the nurse.
"I'm sorry... The baby didn't make it..." The nurse admitted and Joe was staring at her shocked. His legs were cut, he couldn't move a muscle. He was in a comma.
"Joe? Joe, you alright?" Ben gently pushed Joe's back.
"What do you mean it didn't make it?" He asked confused, trying to realise what was really happening.
"There wasn't enough oxygen to stay alive inside the placenta. It was removed from the vagina, it was already inside the cervix." The nurse didn't tell much stuff. They were all trying to save you.
"How's y/n? Is she okay?" Ben asked.
"We are doing our best to keep her alive. We have to prevent septicaemia." she went back at the surgery.
"I can't do this Ben. I can't lose them both." Joe cried his heart out. Neither could he stand the thought of not being able to see you, hug you kiss you, nor being a father of your child. "I love her so much, I'm in pain." He continued.
"I'm sorry man... All we have to do is pray now." Ben whispered.
-
Many hours passed but Joe didn't stop whimpering and praying to his beloved God. Ben didn't leave his side. He was as scared as his best friend was they were about to lose something equally important. You. Sister, Wife, Daughter, a close enough mother.
Doctor came to their place with disappointment and discomfort at his face. Joe recognised that gaze but still hoped for a miracle. He was in agony to find out.
"Well?" He asked searching for answers.
"There's no hope..." he closed his eyes, his head staring at the ground. "They're both gone." He had to say it and not trick their minds. You were gone and so did the baby. You were finally a mother up there but seeing Joe debastated and an absolute mess hurt your delivered soul.
"What do you mean they're both gone? Y/N is still in there fighting for herself!" Joe shouted with his remaining stamina.
"She's died due to septicaemia... The baby was already dead when we took it out of her vagina." Doctor was trying to keep him steady but that was impossible. Ben wrapped his arms around him, comforting him. "My condolences..." He left the waiting room and there was Ben and Joe crying on each other's arms.
-
Move on in life baby, I'll be up here taking care of you with our beloved son. He's finally happy and so am I and so will you. Find a worthy girl, make a family with her. You couldn't make it with me, but it'll happen with her. I want to see you glow again the way you did when we got married. Remember our baby and I love you so much.
Joe woke up sweating after seeing this... nightmare? No, it wasn't a nightmare. It was you, appearing in his dreams, sending him a sign of hope and love. He was devastated for over two years. Alone, sad and miserable, trying to stand on his feet. Until the doorbell rang. He walked through the hallway, reaching the door. There was a woman looking like you did before passing away.
"Are you looking for something young lady?" Joe asked mesmerized by the similarity. A young female, around her early thirties, beautiful and fully energized with a big smile decorating her round face.
"Um, hello! I am uh... I just, moved here and I'm greeting the neighbours. My name's y/n." She gestured her hand to Joe's side, asking for a hand greet.
If that was not a sign from up above then what it is? You fixed his life in seconds. There was that woman who would resurrect him from the living dead. A woman who looked like you, had the same name as you and certainly a woman who would finally help Joe stand on his feet. They would both have a big family, insisted of three kids and Joe was grateful every time he closed his eyes and talked to you.
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What Could Have Been
On the morning of his eleventh birthday, Harry James Potter woke up to someone shaking him while whispering in his ear. “Harry. Harry, wake up. C’mon…wake up.”
“Wha-?” Harry mumbled, rubbing his eyes blearily.
“Here you go. C’mon now.” Harry took hold of the specs that were being thrust into his hands and slid them onto his face.
With his specs firmly in place, Harry was able to see that it was his dad who had been shaking him out of sleep. James Potter was perched on the side of his son’s bed—still dressed in his pyjamas, his black hair more unruly than usual—with a huge grin on his face.
“Dad-“ Haryy began, though he broke off with a gaping yawn.
“Happy Birthday Harry!” James blurted, unable to control his excitement any longer as he grinned down at his son.
“Merlin James, you’d think you were the one turning eleven today.” Harry turned his head to see his mum standing in the doorway, his three year old sister propped on her hip. Lily Potter smiled softly at her son, her face bright with happiness as she took in the sight of her husband bouncing lightly on Harry’s bed while Harry was still attempting to fully wake up. “Happy Birthday sweetheart.”
“Thank mum, dad.” Harry said happily. Now that he was fully awake he felt the stir of excitement in his stomach—it was his eleventh birthday. Ordinarily, turning eleven would not be such a fuss; however, Harry was not an ordinary boy.
He kicked his feet out of his blankets and shot out of bed, stopping in front of his dad. “Is it here yet?”
James grinned at his son’s excited tone and stood, ruffling Harry’s hair. “Why don’t you run downstairs and check?”
Harry spun and bolted for the door only to be stopped by his mum, who blocked his path, laughing. “Turning eleven doesn’t make you exempt from hugging your mum, you know.”
Groaning dramatically—but not meaning it in the slightest—Harry stepped into Lily’s embrace and let her hug him, savoring the warmth and comfort of her hug. He then turned to the toddler resting on Lily’s hip and kissed her cheek.
“Morning Minnie.”
Harry’s baby sister laughed delightedly when Harry pulled away and mussed the ginger curls on her head. “ Arry birfday. Appy appy!”
“That’s right, little love. It’s Harry’s birthday!” James said as he joined them in the doorway. “Should we follow him to the kitchen and see if he’s gotten anything special?”
Minnie clapped her hands, giggling and nodding.
“Go on then Harry.” Lily urged. Harry needed no further prodding to propel himself down the stairs at full speed. He skipped the last three steps, choosing instead to grab the banister and swing himself around the corner into the kitchen.
“Happy birthday Harry!” The cacophony of voices chimed as he entered the room.
A brilliant smile lit Harry’s face as he took in the crowd around the table. There was Sirius, his godfather, with his motorcycle boot clad feet propped up on the tabletop, his hands folded behind his head and a smirk on his face. Beside him sat his Uncle Remus, who shoved Sirius’s boot out of his face upon Harry’s entrance. On the other side of Remus sat his mum’s friend Mary—who was closer to a sister to Lily than Harry’s actual Aunt Petunia was—and her boyfriend Benjy Fenwick.
And there, on top of the table, was a small stack of gifts—one of them even looked like an actual broomstick, not just a practice one for kids, either—but above all else is was a small, cream colored envelope with grand, sloping writing in green ink that captured his attention.
Harry looked back at his parents, who were hanging back in the doorway. Minnie had long since climbed down from Lily’s arms and crawled into Sirius’s lap and was trying to reach the stack of gifts. James’s arm rested lightly around Lily’s waist and she rested her head on his shoulder as they both looked on at their son and all of their loved ones that had gathered to celebrate.
Harry knew that he ought to be grossed out by his parents always openly displaying how much they loved each other—he couldn’t begin to count the number of times he had caught them kissing when they thought he was otherwise occupied—but he wasn’t. He knew that his parents love for each other, and their love for both Minnie and him, was something important—so important, probably, that nothing could ever defeat it.
His mum nodded at him while his dad looked on, grinning like a child. Harry grinned back and turned to face the table again.
“Go on then, Harry, what’re you waiting for?” Sirius asked, tipping his head towards the letter.
Remus picked up the envelope and passed it to Harry. “Here you go then.”
Harry took a deep breath and broke the seal, shaking the parchment out into his hands. Harry unfolded the letter as his family looked on, the smile on his face growing even wider as he read…
Dear Mr. Potter,
We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy.
A/N: A while ago @nolamc147 had requested some If They Lived Jily and I wrote something but looking back it was more about Sirius, so @nolamc147, here you go. Here’s some fluffy, alive and happy Jily for you. I hope you enjoy, and I’m sorry it took soooooo long to actually follow up with your request.
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