#glad this was one of his 7 tweets come back to twitter Phil

[mcforwhatiam]

Posted by Phil Andelman on Twitter as a tribute post, full tweet below picture.

#❤💔 #beastie boys #mca #adam yauch #phil andelman #S is his wife Sarah #glad this was one of his 7 tweets come back to twitter Phil #paris #hsc #blue striped shirt #2009 #b&w #for consistency tagging #daily special #giggle #that look he's giving #posted on insta #i think

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2021

Date video was published: 12/21/2021 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 452

The final video of 2021. Phil teased it and caused chaos, of course. I can’t believe (but am so glad) this is the sequel we ended up getting.

0:00 - tree background! they had the tree up and decorated by December 7, when Dan shared pictures

0:03 - great start. love that he immediately looks to Dan for his reaction

0:20 - calling himself out for “casted” and very unnecessary creepy eye editing there

0:25 - Phil’s face as Dan sits down 🥺 plus giving him the fireworks effect

0:33 - I like this Dan sweater! (and not really this Phil one, sorry)

0:39 - that was very quick from both of them there. then the jump cut before Dan can come up with another come-back and it’s basically a compliment 😂

0:57 - that was the least subtle thing ever and the bleeps did nothing.  Dan really wanted to be sure everyone got it though 😳

1:04 - Dan slowly scooting closer to Phil

1:06 - the annotations here...though Phil did not say anything about his “favourite thing”s before this

1:18 - Phil’s side-eye as he decides to tease Dan about that

1:28 - and even closer. what even. I would say he was trying to leave space to put the text screenshots, but they end up putting them in between them sometimes anyway

1:35 - I miss Dan’s reactions to Phil’s comments so much when we don’t get joint content for a while

1:41 - what is Phil even doing

1:54 - I mean that’s adorable. I like that he also sent one called “beautiful hawk”

2:23 - Dan just saying that...alrighty then. this might be the most we’re-in-a-relationship joke they’ve ever made on camera? in 2017, Dan shared a couple of text screenshots (1, 2) and he did have a photo for Phil then

2:35 - Phil editing this and putting the “JC” over his own face 😂 or maybe they edited together like they used to do with the PINOFs

2:55 - oh that’s bad. Dan refused to share that photo on Twitter

3:10 - awww, Phil “I wouldn’t betray your trust”

3:13 -  I think most of these (with the exception of a few) are in order throughout the year, so guessing this was just Dan looking for birthday gifts for Phil in January

3:16 - so Dan wrote this and sent it to Phil, who then slightly edited it and posted it as a tweet. I wonder how often they do this, but good to know that sometimes Phil’s tweets may sound like Dan for a reason

3:25 - awww 🥺 and a tree they took to the new house

3:29 - Dan immediately laughing...don’t know if I want to know the context for that one

3:32 - Dan had tweeted about the Bernie meme just a couple days after Phil sent this to him

3:55 - they talked about seeing Steve in the wild during one of the Stereo shows

4:00 - I feel like a lot of the random texts at ~10am like “Bip” here are them checking to see if the other person is awake if they’re not getting up at the same time

4:15 - this makes it sound like Dan did a lot of the prep work for this video

4:24 - Phil just staring...and then licking his lips

4:28 - this is one I’m not sure is in order or not...there was no “up” at the filming flat so this was either after they moved or they meant something else (or were somewhere else)

4:51 - that’s a picture they showed in the CAH video, though Phil is sending it to Dan here

5:04 - this was a new photo of the entryway and tree that we hadn’t seen before! this must have just been Dan sending those photos to Phil to use for a video though, because he had already made that tree by summer of 2020

5:14 - imagining Dan just scrolling through his pictures of Phil and sending him the worst ones 😂

5:33 - Phil gets the weirdest ads I swear. Dan with the immediate “damn”

5:45 - Phil must have sent this to Dan to say he was going to make it his icon? why didn’t Dan say he didn’t like it then!

5:57 - controversial, but I agree with Dan here. 🤐 his face does look mask-like! I think it’s something with his eyes in that photo

6:18 - Phil knows immediately! they eat dinner SO late

6:34 - this is just the next day. and exactly a year before the cherry blossom selfies 👀

6:42 - they way that Dan said “are you gonna reveal it...” feel like something more than showing a painting

6:44 - I’m still not over this gift and that they have this memory of the Japan trip hanging in their new house. also bamboo forest day in Japan was the same day as that one Insta story of very soft Phil and I am not okay knowing that 😭

6:57 - Phil posted some these photos the same day he sent them to Dna here. and the one Dan sent back was one of those, so maybe Dan was picking out which he should post

7:13 - “we were trying to decide” everything they do is a collaboration, isn’t it? even if it’s supposedly “solo” merch or projects

7:24 - “I’m not just simping, Phil” christ. he does have to clarify

7:50 - Dan’s immediate smile at Phil supporting him. Dan had released his new merch at the end of November too

8:03 - I love Phil texting for permission to eat the snacks (which were clearly for both of them) while Dan was out

8:15 - the sending of vibes thing just makes me want to weep 😭 Dan was recording some of his book that day, though he didn’t share this particular picture until the end of April

8:28 - zero context. though Dan was apparently feeling anxious that day

8:31 - another one where I feel like Phil is checking to see if Dan is awake

8:44 - there are a lot of those we don’t actually see and I’m not sure I want to know

8:52 - the house was getting closer! Dan had shared a Insta story with a picture this day too

9:07 - Phil just agreeing that they were “very flattering.”  Dan had shared those pictures of the entryway in July

9:12 - welp. alrighty then Phil. this must be the nerd cave room?

9:26 - and this must be Phil checking to see if Dan is coming to bed? right? this would have been later in the night after Phil was watching some Jujutsu Kaisen

9:53 - they start doing this and I’m pretty sure the ‘blessed family’ one is the only one they don’t rate 5/5 😂

10:01 - didn’t quite go with the whole “Philip”

10:08 - these annotations seem like Dan wrote them, which he very well might have

10:16 - the glue incident. like I said in that post, this is earlier in May than I thought it had happened from the video

10:20 - Dan trying to calm him down via text since he couldn’t go with him 🥺

10:40 - this is also hilarious to me, that Phil was sending him interview ideas/jokes 😂 it looks like it might have been even longer than what they showed here

10:54 - getting the un-blurred version of this photo that Dan shared on May 21. also the heavy breathing/foot showing editing...not quite as good as the golden pig fight, but still a great editing joke from 2021

11:13 - what even. no guesses for this one

11:23 - was this just Phil checking that the thumbnail was okay with Dan? I would say he had sent it to Dan so he had it for promo purposes, but Dan just retweeted/reposted Phil’s stuff

11:52 - awww, Phil is right. and Phil is proud of him!

12:09 - they were so excited about the house!

12:24 - and back to slightly earlier in the month. so many scans for Phil 🙁 Phil just sharing “I’m not dying” every time; Dan looks like he doesn’t know what to think about that

12:34 - I’m cackling at this one

12:42 - this is right around when they shared they were actually moving, so I’m guessing this has something to do with the garden at the new house

12:55 - this must have been when Phil was heading home from getting his COVID vaccine. also, Dan trying to act unamused

13:12 - okay definitely out of order now. we were just in June, but you can see the tree in the background of that video so that must have been from much more recently. Phil did share it as a Short after this video was posted

13:54 - emo Dan and Phil saying it “send me vividly back to 2011″ is a lot

14:06 - yeah Dan barely promoted his involvement in that at all

14:18 - Phil sounds so disappointed about the furry bit being cut

14:22 - we don’t see Phil’s response in the screenshot there, so unsure if he’s actually reading it or just making something up because they didn’t want to share what he actually said

14:26 - needy Dan indeed! I love that he sound so whiny in his reading of it too

14:33 - I wanna know about “Blop blip blop...lmao” that they didn’t read

14:36 - yeah that’s just disturbing, slightly. Phil had shared a “haunted” photo of himself from the doorbell too, in late August

14:42 - little taps to Phil’s arm there

14:48 - okay this is my favorite one for some reason. something about how soft Dan sounds when he’s reading it and how completely incomprehensible it is

15:01 - again maybe an are-you-awake check. Phil thinks 9:53am was too early though

15:09 - the ghost editing with the doorball footage 😂

15:27 - I mean, this was less surprising because Phil had already said “roleplaying as a catboy” in one of the Stereo shows

15:34 - Phil went through about 7 different emotions in a second there deciding whether or not this was a YouTube-appropriate story

15:50 - candid Dan photo! Phil looks so pleased/fond about it

16:04 - Phil giving zero shits about Dan’s sassiness there, lol

16:32 - this must have been on a train north the evening before filming in Rawtenstall since they were spotted filming there on July 22

16:54 - Dan is being diplomatic about YouTube here, but he really wanted it to be longer and include different bits

17:01 - more needy Dan!

17:09 - texting memories to each other I CAN’T 😭

17:17 - Dan is wrong - this was from when the went to see Mission Impossible in the US (1, 2). they had seen Infinity War in May 2018.

17:41 - does Dan just text Phil every time he needs a drink refill, haha

17:48 - how the hell would anyone interpret what that meant

17:56 - guessing Phil was with people for his plant calendar shoot. he was doing that ~September 23-24, at least from what he shared (1, 2)

18:21 - has Phil literally been doing all of their laundry for years...what. the next one is from October, so this could be when Phil went to Isle of Man to visit his family? (if Dan didn’t go and was home alone?)

18:30 - I know “moonpig” is a card brand but also

18:35 - this still haunts me. I did not need to know that Dan calls Phil “moon butt.” there is no way to interpret how he reads that other than as a nickname. WHY did they include that

19:11 - Dan had posted that at the end of November. I wonder if that somewhat inspired this video

19:30 - Dan just sending him the double question mark after that 😂

20:05 - Phil looks so sad for him. this is like a follow-up to the first video of the year when they were so hopeful for things happening in 2021

20:30 - “at some point, somehow, in some way” is so vague; I am constantly on edge especially with how quiet they’ve been this spring

20:52 - Dan saying “tolerating” while Phil says “treating” 🥺

21:20 - love the sign off

Another contender for my favorite video of 2021. I know I’ve said that about 4-5 times but there are just so many good ones. It is so much more unhinged than the first texting video - either because they didn’t share the weirdest ones before or because they were outside/apart more for the texts in the first one, rather than mostly texting each other from inside the house. Also, I adore this “outtake” of a Kath text that Phil posted as a Short. They didn’t say much about what they were doing for Christmas (other than Phil going to see his family), but both Dan and Phil did share an Insta story.

#dan and phil #dnp #dnpRewatch #amazingphil #daniel howell #phil lester #danisnotonfire #amazingphil videos #What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2021

[alittledizzy]

miss dizzy may you please talk about phil's 2015 reunion thing and what we knew

I sure can, anon!

On August 28 2015, Phil was spotted (alone) running through the train station. The person that saw him didn’t take a picture but they did post about it on twitter, and that started a whole hashtag of #WhyWasPhilRunning (link). At that point, he hadn’t announced he was going anywhere. 

Later that day, Dan started tweeting some stuff that really worried fans. 

Then Dan stopped tweeting and didn’t say anything else for a day. Everyone was basically spamming Phil nonstop asking if Dan was okay, but Phil didn’t respond either. 

When Dan did come back he just responded to a few people asking about him.

Later that day, Phil tweeted this… 

and then Dan and Phil were both spotted at a restaurant in Manchester.  (I can’t find the picture but I’m fairly sure there was one of both of them If anyone has it, hit me up and I’ll edit it in.)

Finally (for that day) Dan came back and also tweeted this. 

Then the next day Phil was back home and did a liveshow. 

He talks about the trip but scatters the details throughout the first twenty minutes of the livestream instead of telling a whole story at once. 

He mentions going to the school reunion at 2:20 in, then about the train ride at 5:11. At 5:50 he says “I was with Dan, by the way.” At 7:48 he talks about what else he did up north (got ice cream, hung out with friends) and talks about Dan being friends with the people from Manchester. At 8:50 he talks about not having gotten much sleep and being mildly delirious. At 14:50 he talks about waking up in someone else’s house having toast and the town he used to live in. At 15:18 he finally addresses the hashtag about him running and tells a weird story about how he was still packing and sent Dan ahead to get the train tickets (forgetting, I guess, that he told the upgrade story and said he bought them ages ago) and he was running through London because he was later. He says the train was delayed so in the end it didn’t even matter, and that was about the last of that. 

We know that Dan was at the reunion with Phil, it’s just uncertain as to whether he traveled there with Phil or if he was struggling too much by himself and joined Phil later on. But either way, Dan was struggling and he had Phil, and knowing more now about his mental health and general struggles over the years, I’m so fucking glad for that.

#anon asks #phan asks #Anonymous

[paradisobound]

I Want It, I Got It: Chapter 1

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie staring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Word Count: 1.8k (this chapter)

Warnings: Occasional swearing

Rating: Mature (for right now)

A/N: Ahh look at me. Starting another chaptered fic. Remember how I said a while ago that I hoped to have a fic to begin posting by Valentines Day? Well, this isn’t the fic. But I’ll take it lol I know I have a very bad track record lately of completing what I’ve started but I have 10k written on this fic already so I’m set for the next like five weeks which gives me plenty of time to finish the fic! Every one when I asked wanted this fic and I’m so glad because I’ve really grown to fall in love with it!

As always: I’m not an expert, nor a movie star or anything, so I’m not saying any of this accurate. I just thought this might be how it goes. But I hope you all enjoy it anyway! Happy reading!

Updates will be every Sunday at 1pm EST until I have the fic finished and then it’ll be twice weekly

**Masterlist | Read on Ao3**

“Dear Workers,

The BBC Studio will be closed for the next week to accommodate the filming of a new featured film starring Daniel Howell and Mimei Lake. During this time, you will have to work from home on any projects you may be in the middle of. A select few of you will be asked to work on the set as extras for the film. We’ll email those we selected by the end of tomorrow.

Hope this isn’t a hassle and apologies for any inconveniences.

Corporate”

****

“Did you read the new email?” Phil turned his head to his friend PJ sitting next to him in their office. “They’re actually closing down the whole building just to film a few scenes for one movie.”

Phil, coffee in hand and his laptop open to said same email, sighed. “It’s a Daniel Howell movie. Of course they’re shutting down the entire building.”

PJ rolled his eyes. Everyone knew of Daniel Howell. He was only the biggest actor in Hollywood right now. But that didn’t mean that everyone shared in on the fangirling when it came to his name being mentioned. “The BBC is gonna be untouchable all next week. I don’t even wanna know how many girls and guys are going to flock here to meet him.”

“He doesn’t do photos and autographs though?” Phil brought up, setting his mug on the table and shutting his laptop down. His work was nearly done anyway for the day.

“Still never stops the fans.” PJ says, tipping his head. “He’ll mention he’s in London on his Instagram or Twitter and then it’ll be over.”

Phil nodded. Yeah, that sounds pretty much correct. “Fair enough.”

“Who do you think they selected to work on set?” PJ asked. “I reckon they chose some of the interns because that they don’t have to pay them.”

“I hope it’s not me.” Phil says immediately. “God, the less I have to be here during this time, the better.”

“It’s gonna be impossible to even get here.” PJ adds. “They’re gonna block off all of the streets to accommodate Daniel’s massive trailer that he lugs everywhere.”

“I don’t even want to imagine.” Phil says. “I’d much rather just stay in my flat with Spike and work on my laptop.”

PJ nodded in agreement.

Just as PJ began to speak again, the door to their office opened and their coworker Gemma walked in, her expression giddy and a smile plastered on her lips. “Did you two see the email?”

Both PJ and Phil nodded.

“How are you both not more excited about this?” Gemma exclaimed. “Daniel freaking Howell is gonna be walking around our building! He could sit in your chair right now. Or use my office as a set. Or—”

“He’s just another person.” Phil interrupted her.

“But he’s not though!” Gemma shot back with a smile. “Oh, you two don’t get it.” She waved her hand and walked further into the office. She pulled out a chair at the desk next to Phil and plopped down.

“There isn’t much to get.” PJ countered. “He’s just a bloke who happens to be good looking and also a major celebrity.”

“So you do get it!” Gemma pointed out. “I really hope I’m one of the ones corporate selected to work on set as an extra. I would give anything to stand in the same room as Daniel Howell.”

“They’re probably just going to choose interns.” Phil says. “I doubt they’ll choose any of their paid employees.”

“I wonder if I email corporate if they’ll bump my name on the list and I can do it.”

Pj shrugged and tapped his pen against his forehead. “Doesn’t hurt if you really want to do it.”

“I’m steering clear of this building while he’s here.” Phil comments, picking up his now ice cold coffee mug and taking a sip, cringing at the taste of it.

“What do you have against Daniel Howell?” Gemma asks, folding her arms over her chest.

“He’s just another celebrity.” Phil says. “He’s pretentious and rude.”

“You don’t know that.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “It’s common knowledge.”

“What? That every celebrity is a dick?” Gemma asked, her voice clearly laced with tension. “Isn’t that a bit shallow minded?”

Phil shrugged. “Change my mind but until then, I’m gonna stand by it. I doubt any celebrity like Daniel Howell is down to Earth.”

Gemma scoffed. “Well, I for one think that it would be brilliant to work alongside him.”

Phil chuckled and took another sip of his cold coffee. He definitely didn’t want to work alongside Daniel Howell but he had to admit that it was endearing to see Gemma swooning over the actor.

Once Gemma left, Phil began to pick up his things and prepare to go home for the night. He stuffed his laptop in his backpack and then through in some of the folders he needed to complete the advertising project he was assigned to do for the BBC Radio 1 show.

He and PJ left the BBC at the same time and headed to the tube to go back to their flats. They lived in opposite areas of London but they saw each other often outside of work.

When Phil got to his flat and he opened the door with his key, he was immediately greeted by the excited yips of his puppy Spike. He was a ten month old Corgi that Phil adopted as a puppy. Spike kept him busy and less-lonely on nights where he wished he wasn’t thirty one and hopelessly single.

He bent down and scratched Spike’s belly as he rolled around on his carpet from excitement. Phil eventually stopped petting Spike long enough to go to the kitchen and check his food bowl and water. He knew his brother came over sometimes to let out Spike while he was at work so he sometimes fills up his food and water.

Today was one of those days. His food bowl was heaping over and his water was clean and clear. Martyn just came over not that long ago then. He made a mental note to text Martyn but in the mean time, he called Spike over to his door that lead to the courtyard and hooked a leash on his collar to take him outside one more time for good measure.

After being done, Phil let Spike go back into the flat. He immediately ran over and flopped onto his bed next to the couch and closed his eyes to take a nap. Phil sat down on the couch and looked over his phone, catching up on any notifications he might have missed while he was on his way home.

He saw a notification for an email and he sighed. It was probably some junk mail that some store was sending him. He got them a lot from Topman but to be fair, that’s where his entire wardrobe comes from.

He unlocked his phone and clicked on the email notification and waited to load it up. Once it did, he felt all breath leave his chest.

“To: Philip M. Lester.

Good Evening! If you have seen our emails from this morning you would have seen that the BBC will be closed for the filming of a feature film. Effectively 15th of January at 10pm until 9am on 25th of January, the BBC offices and building will be closed for filming.

However, after careful consideration, we would appreciate your help at the BBC during filming as a film extra. You should report to the BBC by half past 7 on the 15th of January.

If you have any question, email us back. This is part of your scheduled job and you will need to report when assigned.

Corporate”

Phil laid down on the couch and groaned.

Of course his luck would have it this way. Of fucking course this would happen.

***

“So we both got stuck coming didn’t we?”

Phil looked at PJ, his eyes still blurry from having to wake up so early. He didn’t even bother to put his contacts in today, he just threw on his glasses and said forget it.

“Guess so.” Phil says, standing beside PJ on the tube. Their stop was the next one. In the morning, they always ended up on the same tube before they got to the BBC. “This is going to be a disaster.”

“It already is.” PJ answers. “Did you go on Twitter this morning?”

Phil shook his head and pulled his phone out of his pocket. But he should have known he wouldn’t have any service while on the underground.

“It was a Twitter moment that Daniel Howell was spotted in London about to begin filming. He also tweeted, in true form, that he was going to be in London for a few weeks.”

“Oh great.” Phil said, rolling his eyes. “So what you mean is that the BBC is gonna be like impenetrable force?”

“Yep.”

Phil sighed and the tube stopped, the doors opening. They stepped outside and wandered through the crowds to the exit. Once they walked out of the tube station, it was over. They saw the crowds beginning already. Hoards of teenagers and even some adults all screaming and holding signs behind a barrier of police.

“Oh my gosh.” Phil exclaimed. “This is absolute madness!”

“Well, here we go, Lad.” PJ said, hooking his arm with Phil’s and yanking him across the street to the main entrance of the BBC.

They were nearly there when they were stopped by police, asking what they were doing. As soon as they both flashed their BBC badges, they were let inside to even more madness going on.

People were running around everywhere. There were sections of the building completely taped off and there were offices on the first floor that were being blocked by people in front of the door.

They continued walking inside and were greeted by a woman with a clipboard. “Can I get your names?”

“PJ Ligouri.”

“Phil Lester.”

The woman looked over the clipboard and smiled and looked at them both. “Welcome! If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to where you need to be.”

Just as they were about to walk and follow the woman, loud cheering and screaming began behind them, just outside the building. Looking out the door, Phil could see him.

Next Chapter

#Phan #phanfic #Phanfiction #au #famous!dan #moviestar!dan #normal!phil #princesslexi763fics

[campdanandphil]

Butternut Steve (Extended edition)

Author’s Notes: ButterNUT Steve was inspired by the grey tent’s one word phanficion. I took the idea and ran with it. And this monstrosity was born. Excuse the shitty grammar. I wrote it in two hours.

Tw: death, gore, 

      Steve Harvey knew it was a mistake to have Dan and Phil on Family Feud. However he did not expect it to end in this. He was strapped to the left side podium. The curly one one stood over him, knife in his hand and a glint in his eye. Steve tried to scream, but Dan put a ball gag on him.       “I’m feeling a little peckish,” Dan said to the studio audience now screaming in fear.       Steve had found Dan and Phil by accident. He had been watching his own clips back on youtube. All the recommended videos were about his Miss America fiasco. Except for one. It was called Phil is not on fire 7. He clicked on it expecting the worst and hoping for the best.       He was greeted by millennials jokingly answering questions with drawn on cat whiskers on their faces. After the first few seconds he was hooked.       He subscribed to Phil’s channel and found Dan’s shortly after. He started looking forward to their uploads. Steve felt that he was beginning to become attached to the two nerd. He was tuning in to the weekly live shows and was stalking them on twitter. Steve knew that he was not their target demographic. Their audience consisted of mostly teenagers with a few twenty something year olds mixed in. Being nearly sixty years old Steve definitely felt out of place. But there was something about their personalities that had him hooked.       “The ratings are going down. No one is watching family feud any more!” Brad Slaight, the executive producer screamed. “What are we supposed to do?”       “I have an i-,” the mustached man began to say.       “For the last time Steve we are not doing family feud with sand cats. They are dangerous WILD animals,” Brad yelled the vein in his head throbbing.       “This idea is a real idea,” Steve assured Brad. “Let’s have internet people compete.”       “Do you have any internet people in mind?” Brad asked.       “Yes I have two, Dan and Phil, ” Steve replied.       “Fine at this point I will do anything to save the show. This show is iconic. It is as American as apple pie or guns.” Brad said.       “Would you even do a show with sand cats?”       “ If you mention sand cats one more time I am firing you and finding a new host. You are already on thin ice after the Miss America incident”       “Fine no sand cats. I will contact Dan and Phil after the show.” Steve decided to DM Phil Lester. He opened up his twitter and began sending out a message.       SH: Hi this is Steve Harvey. I am wondering if you would like to         be a part of family feud. It’s okay if you don’t want to.       PL: Dan and I would love to be a part of your show.       SH: Thanks for saying yes. We should coordinate schedules       PL: Also I’ve noticed you are very active on my twitter. Glad you       like my tweets.       SH: How do you know that?       PL: I get a notification when someone verified responds to my         tweet.       SH: Well now I know that you know that I am a massive fan.       The day of the filming was hectic as always. People were running around trying to prepare for the show. Steve was trying to calm down.       “ Be calm, be cool, you want Dan and Phil to think you are normal,” he muttered to himself.       “ Five minutes until showtime,” one of the interns reminded him.       There are five players on each team in the game of family feud. Since there is only one Dan and one Phil the became a team with the Williams family. That family consisted of a Mom and a Dad and their teenage son. They were playing against the Torres family, which contained a Mom and a Dad, two twin girls in their thirties, and an elderly Grandma they called Abuelita.       The game began promptly and ten. The crown of a hundred or so people was hyped and Steve Harvey was ready to go. The game went pretty smoothly for the first half. Team Lester- Howell- Williams was loosing. And they were loosing badly. Dan began to fill with rage. He tried to keep it in. He was not going to let his competitive side get the best of him.       “Where is the bathroom Phil asked?”       They were taking a break and Phil had begun to regret the bottle of water he had drunk earlier. Once Phil was gone Dan began to laugh menacingly       Dan was the only person on his team standing behind the podium. He swiftly knocked it over and pulled out a knife. Steve called for security but, they were all on a lunch break. Dan swiftly tied Steve Harvey to the podium that had been knocked down. He rolled up Steve Harvey’s pant leg and was about to cut himself a meaty chunk when-       “Dan? What are you doing?” Phil asked urgently.       “Eating Steve Harvey. What does it look like I’m doing?” Dan replied.       “ But we promised to only eat homeless people and nobodies. People who will be forgotten. Not public figures.”       “But I was hungry,” Dan whined. “And Americans are so sweet. I think it’s from all the sugar that they eat”       Steve Harvey tried to scream, but before he could get a word out Dan put a ball gag on him.       Dan dragged the knife over Steve’s leg cutting of a chunk of meat at the calf. He took a bite and started moaning.       “ It’s…So…GOOD!” Dan said enthusiastically between bites.       “ Do you want a bite?” Dan asked.       Phil reluctantly nodded yes. Dan handed him a chunk of flesh.       “ Yum,” Phil said, “It tastes like butternut squash.”       Dan sucked the fat off a piece of skin and then threw it to where the audience was supposed to be sitting. All of the audience was gone. They had all fled in terror.       “Oh well… time for the organs,” Dan said in a singsongy voice.       He unbuttoned Steve’s shirt ignoring the muffled screams coming from the old man.       “Hammer,” he said. And Phil handed him a hammer.       Dan used the hammer to break open Steve’s rib cage. He used the knife to cut open his chest and get to the lungs. He punctured the lungs and sucked the air out. But Steve Harvey’s lungs were not filled with air. Years of smoking had changed his lung composition. Steve Harvey’s lungs were filled with helium.       Dan Howell had been allergic to helium his whole life. That’s why he avoided birthday parties like the plague. That and his social anxiety.       Dan took a big breath from Steve’s lung. He began to have trouble breathing. Phil ran backstage for his phone. There was a battle going on in his brain. Should he call the ambulance and expose the cannibalism, and spend years in jail. The upside was that Dan might survive. Or he could let the one person who truly understood him die. Before Phil could make the decision Daniel Howell had died.

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2uDjoL2

Who doesn’t know all about the 140 character goodness of Twitter these days? Originally, the 140 character limit was designed to allow users to send a single “tweet” through a single SMS text message. With over 300 million active monthly Twitter users, it’s hard to imagine a time when people weren’t using this social media giant! If we zap back into reality though, the service has only been a part of our lives for just over a decade. This has us all remembering a time when celebrities, politicians and billionaires were just discovering Twitter. At first, it was just a fun little pop sensation that kept them all current, but soon they realized that it was a powerful requirement to staying relevant! So in researching some of the most active celebrities and Twitter users these days, it is interesting that just like every person’s first words as a baby, we each get one shot at our first tweet! Some make the most of it, tweeting a profound statement or making a hilarious entry, while others have a very anti-climactic debut to the twitter-verse. Amazingly, there is one instance where someone has thousands of followers despite not having ever sent a tweet! While sifting through countless celebrity accounts, I have identified 15 of the best, funniest and most interesting “first tweets” put out to the world.

#1 Donald Trump Way back in 2009, when Donald Trump was some ordinary celebrity billionaire with a reality television series, he (or rather his people) decided to try this Twitter thing. Over 33 million followers, a Presidential election and daily news media discussion concerning his personal tweeting later and The Donald has so much social media power that the mere mention of a company or industry in a single tweet can create a change in the stock market! But waaaay back in 2009 when it all started for him, his epic first tweet was asking people to tune in to watch “him” do the David Letterman Top Ten list. At that point, other people obviously handled his tweeting for him. He wasn’t even a candidate at that point, but perhaps his old tweeting habits would serve him better than the personal touches he has added now.

#2 Katy Perry With over 100.5 million Twitter followers, Katy Perry is the number one account with the most followers in the world. That is such an amazingly impressive number that she could literally stop performing and recording music and just work her Twitter presence and still generate millions of dollars every year! But the monster that is her Twitter following all got started back on February 20, 2009 when she decided to tweet out that she had just arrived in Berlin and that she was feeling better (she was apparently a little under the weather). She also excitedly acknowledged her new Twitter presence and called herself a “follower.” Well Katy, with over 100 million “followers” to your account, we think the tables have turned. Who is the follower now Miss Perry?

#3 Cashmeousside Girl Danielle Bregoli, more commonly known as “Cashmeousside Girl” is known for her terrible behavior toward…well, everyone! She rocked the world when she went on Dr. Phil and showed off. Since then, she’s become one of the most viral memes of all time, has been on a variety of web shows and commands (and gets) big bucks to make personal appearances and say her famous catchphrase “cashmeousside, how bou dat?” But this has all been at the age of 13 when she was young and dumb. She’s now at the mature age of 14 and seems to be growing up. So what was her first tweet almost five long months ago? It doesn’t make much sense to anyone that doesn’t know what on earth she’s talking about. Calling some girl a hoe and referring to a butt pad. Way to keep your twitter entrance classy Danielle.

#4 Justin Bieber While Katy Perry is solidly in first place when it comes to Twitter followers, Justin Bieber is at an impressive second place. Bieber has had his ups and downs as a celebrity, going from cute kid singing his heart out on YouTube to international sensation, to self-absorbed douchebag celebrity to back on top and a little more classy. Through it all, his loyal fans (Beliebers) have kept the faith in him. His Twitter following has climbed and climbed since his first tweet in May of 2009. His first tweet was nothing ceremonial, except to promote “One Time” on his myspace page. If he knew then that his Twitter following would be as substantial as it has become, he likely would have said something more clever. But then again… this is Justin Bieber we’re talking about.

#5 Kris Jenner March 10, 2009 is a day that will live in infamy. Why? Because it’s the day Kris Jenner announced herself to the Twitter world and confessed that she invited all of her kids to join Twitter as well. I wonder if Kris realized the Pandora’s Box she was opening with those invites?! Truthfully, they probably would have found Twitter anyway, as it has obviously become a force that just couldn’t be stopped. Kris has managed to keep her fame and fame of her children going well past the typical fifteen minutes they deserve. She is still a hot reality star and a household name that most everyone recognizes. So sure enough, she’s been tweeting up a storm ever since that fateful day and hasn’t looked back. Thanks for nothing Kris.

#6 Kim Kardashian West One of those kids Kris Jenner invited to Twitter was her oldest daughter Kim Kardashian West. We all have come to know and tolerate Kim for so many different reasons. She is best known as being famous for being famous. Kim has done modeling, but it was the reality television show Keeping Up With the Kardashians that really made her “career” take off. So what was Kim’s first tweet and when? Well, it was a whole 11 days after her mother’s invitation to join (I guess she had to do some research) and Kim said to the world that she was on Twitter and while there were some fakes, this was the real one. A likely story for any posers out there. Of course, this was before Twitter had “verified” accounts.

#7 Oprah In April of 2009, her royal highness, Oprah Winfrey herself graced the Twitter world with her presence for the first time! Oprah today has one of the most followed accounts on the whole platform, but at the time, she very humbly said hello and acknowledged that she was a little late to the Twitter party by saying that she was feeling “really 21st century.” Oprah also said hello to the “Twitters.” This has us really wondering…considering that the term for those using Twitter tends to be questionable. Universally though, we are pretty sure that the term “Twitters” never took off. Tweeps, Tweeple and others have picked up some steam, but there isn’t just one word for users of the site. Sorry Oprah, but you don’t get to claim that one.

#8 John Cleese Some of the funniest things ever said didn’t actually use a whole lot of words, or require an extensive setup. John Cleese is known for his work with “Monty Python” and he has had a very prosperous and successful acting career. He is also one of the funniest British actors of his generation. He is also 77 years old, leaving us to think that perhaps he may not have the most to say on Twitter. True, his account isn’t at the top of the most followed list, but he does have 5.5 million followers. His first tweet was way back in December of 2007 when the platform was still very new. His profound entry into the world of Twitter was to say “ i am still alive” (all in lowercase with no punctuation). Nuff said I suppose John. Well done.

#9 CNN CNN has among the highest followings on Twitter. They have embraced the notion of using social media to expand their mission of delivering information and breaking news beautifully. Coming into the world of Twitter in early 2007 was a brilliant early move and they have reaped the rewards of being the news source with the highest following. So what amazing statement did they make as their first mark on the world of social media via Twitter? It was to announce the death of Anna Nicole Smith at age 39. While this was truly a sad event that no one would mock, it does seem somewhat odd that this is the first thing CNN decided to post. Either way, welcome to the tweeting world CNN, we’re glad you were one of the first to the party.

#10 Conan O’Brien Spending years as NBC’s show after the Tonight Show, Conan O’Brien established himself as funny, personable and one of the greats in late night television. Conan briefly took the reins of The Tonight Show but was quickly let go. Not one to run away with his tail between his legs, Conan went over to TBS and introduced their first step into late night. His show Conan has been extremely popular and well received by fans. Conan has been on Twitter for awhile now and looking back to his first tweet, we are not at all disappointed to see how funny he was from the beginning. He tweeted that he interviewed a squirrel in his backyard and then threw to commercial. This was in early 2010 in between his work at NBC and TBS. I think he was trying to tell us something with this tweet.

#11 Bill Clinton Former President of the United States Bill Clinton really needs to introduction. He spent eight years living in The White House and sincerely believed that he would be living there for four more at least. Bill didn’t have the luxury or burden (depending upon how you look at it) of Twitter during his two terms, but he did decide to join the party in April of 2013. He was a little late, but decided to get on board anyway. I guess he figured he’d better get all setup with social media before the 2016 election. Stephen Colbert gets the honor of being the topic of his first tweet. Clinton asked if he was sane? Then he said that he was cool. He even added a hashtag at the end of the tweet…#cgiu. Look at you being all modern Bill!

#12 Evan Spiegel Evan Spiegel is known as the youngest billionaire in the world. He is the CEO and co-founder of Snapchat. Sure, all these social media platforms are kind of indirectly competing with one another, but they still all use each of the other’s platform (even if it’s a secret account). Evan Spiegel has a verified Twitter account, meaning that it is the REAL him. He only has 58,000 followers though, which seems insanely low for such a high profile guy. He joined Twitter in 2010, so what gives? Well, you may notice that he has never…not once sent a tweet! Evan apparently has nothing to tweet about…but plenty to snapchat about I guess. It is kind of interesting though that 58,000 people follow an account that says absolutely nothing. The silence is deafening.

#13 Jerry Seinfeld Jerry Seinfeld is one of the most respected comedians in the world. Heck…at this point, he is one of the most respected comedians in history! He has carved out his place in history for sure. Best known for his “show about nothing” called Seinfeld back in the 90s, when Jerry speaks, everyone listens. So in 2013, when he opted to join Twitter, he said “hello Tweetarians” (that’s a new one) and acknowledged that this could be his last tweet. Well thankfully, it wasn’t his last tweet. He has tweeted out nearly 1,500 times and is followed by almost 5 million people! Surely he realized quickly that this was a pretty great way to communicate with fans and promote the work he does. Good thinking Jerry and we’re glad you decided to stick around.

#14 Kate Upton Model and actress Kate Upton may get the award for most hilarious first tweet. We have got to give her a lot of credit for coming up with something so witty to introduce herself to the world of Twitter. Back in October of 2010, she tweeted out: “I am trying to figure out how to make the background a picture of my boobs.” While this is surely something many slack jawed gawkers would absolutely love (anyone that has seen Kate Upton will get the point), Twitter wouldn’t stand for it I’m sure. She now has a couple of million followers, which clearly indicates that she doesn’t take building her social media presence all that seriously. Either way…she has a verified account and a few thousand tweets under her belt.

#15 First Tweet Ever…Jack Dorsey (CEO of Twitter) We really couldn’t have a list like this without posting the first official tweet ever sent out into the vast expanse of the Twitter-verse. Jack Dorsey, the CEO of Twitter established his account, @jack in March of 2006. What did he say you may ask? “Just setting up my twttr.” That’s kind of a let down when it comes to a historic event like the first tweet. Heck…he didn’t even spell out the word “Twitter.” He wasn’t even close to the 140 character limit! To paraphrase Forrest Gump: “If I had known that would be the first tweet I sent the world…I’d have thought of something better to say.” Nevertheless, when you need a conversation starter, here is a little nugget of information for you…the first tweet in history.

Source: TheRichest

#IoTRecords

[canaryatlaw]

Well, today was fine, my emotions are just….idk I don’t know how to describe them because idk what they even are….just that I have a lot of feelings lol, kind of the same last week in that regard. But yeah. 7 am, alarm goes off and I get up. Get to work, looking over my closing argument for trial ad on the way so I’ll have some idea what I want to say. Work, I finish fixing the case list that didn’t take long, then went looking for work (lol) and got a permanency hearing for next Tuesday on a still active case, so my job was then to go through the file and take notes so I’ll know what kind of shit I’m supposed to ask. I got a few other assignments throughout the day, smaller stuff go just work on at some point. I did have the experience where I had a very hard time keeping my eyes open again, to the point where around 9:40 I closed my door and put my head down on my desk for like 20 minutes lol I set my alarm so I wouldn’t just sleep all day, and if anyone knocked I knew I was a light enough sleeper that I’d wake up immediately and could manage it. I don’t know if I managed to actually fall asleep in that time or just kind of drifted, but I suppose I did feel better afterwards. The case file was pretty sad, good kid, she’s 17 now and was removed when she was 15 because basically both of her parents were giant alcoholics and they went through this gigantic intact case before she was removed (because DCFS actually does try very hard to keep families together when they can, little known fact I know) which meant I had to wade through hundreds of pages of the parents complaining that this (going to substance abuse treatment) was “ruining their lives” and they definitely didn’t have a problem when your 15 year old daughter has a terrible attendance record because she keeps having to stay home and take care of her passed out drunk parents. So when you hear those stories about “that person your friends cousin knows whose kids were taken for no reason because DCFS is evil” please remember that there is a very high likelihood you are hearing a very exaggerated one sided story from a parent that’s likely abusive (sorry, but kids don’t get taken for no reason). Anyway, off my mini-soap box for the moment (but if anybody ever comments to be again that calling DCFS will just make things worse when they’re witnessing child abuse there is a 100% I will slap them in the face on the spot). I went to court for a little while in the afternoon, nothing too interesting going on there. So I headed out at my normal time, 4:56, (yes I am that precise) to get my 5:06 bus to get to the train to take me to class, all of which goes well. Then comes actually enacting the plan. I was gonna have to convince my classmates first, since I’d see them before the prof shows and we’d of course be talking. So I start light you know, say I just got a freaked out text from my roommate about something going wrong in the apartment, then just slowly added comments like “oh now my landlord is freaking out and wants us both there” and slipping in things like “he’s a cop so he goes kind of crazy about thing” (the former of which is true at least) so by the time the prof actually showed around 6 I had a pretty well-established narrative to work with. He did some quick announcements and gave us our final trial schedule, then after some begging and pleading on my part he let me give my closing on the spot so I could go right afterwards. I wasn’t consciously thinking to talk slowly, which means I sometimes trip over words because I just naturally talk so damn fast, but it didn’t happen too much. Was calling a Lyft before I even got out of the building and was headed home. I was anxious that we were gonna hit traffic because it was still semi-rush hour, and we hit a little but not very much at all and I was home by 6:40, giving me 20 minutes to prep to watch legends in my apartment that is very much not being flooded and occupied by my freaked out roommate and landlord, lol. So I did a few things then got ready to watch. I had Caity up on her Facebook live right before and then I had the showgo app on my phone but also my Twitter feed open on my laptop on my lap lol. Cuz with showgo you can cross post to Twitter, but since it’s still a new app it like stalls all the time and it’s not nearly as fast as my live tweeting needs haha so I ended up switching back and forth between the two depending on what was working. I don’t know how I feel about the episode really. I had a feeling we weren’t gonna get what we wanted with Snart, I just knew it wasn’t gonna happen even though I’ve been the one telling everyone to hold out hope this whole time (dammit Rachel) so I was trying to talk myself down about it throughout the day so it would be so big of an issue, but it was of course still pretty upsetting to just get him placed back in the original timeline because like, yeah he does eventually need to be there, but there was so much else you could’ve done in that story…..I don’t know. Caity told me at HVFF she didn’t know if Wentworth was coming back for season 3 so I’ll take that for what it’s worth until we hear something else. But the rest of the episode wasn’t their best. I know they were going for the whole time paradox thing but like, it was confusing to try and figure out what version of who was who, especially when characters are getting shanked and impaled on icicles, and you’re just like, is that the version that is okay to get killed or the one who will permanently kill the character??? Now of course, I didn’t really think they were actually going to kill any of their main characters. I never believed for a second they were gonna have Amaya stay dead, and when the whole Ray thing happened I actually laughed out loud because I was just like oh please I don’t believe you for a second. The concept itself was clever though, and there were some very good scenes with the different versions of the characters. Unsurprisingly, I loved the scenes with the two Sara’s, and I think the one with the two of them talking about the spear is probably one of my all time favorite scenes of the show just because of how raw and vulnerable it was for them and of course Caity knocked it out of the fucking park. And then of course there was the Laurel scene. Of course since they announced black siren would be a regular on next season of Arrow it was being asked if we were gonna get our Laurel or e2 Laurel, but I was glad we got to see our Laurel. That scene was WAY too short for my liking, but it was done very very well. It was interesting how they did the whole thing with who can handle the spear, and how it was because Sara can get past the darkness within her and use the spear for good that she is strong enough to use it (which of course directly contradicts what Phil Klemmer said in his EW interview released earlier today about how none of the legends could handle it because they had to be pure of heart to do so, but whatever). The final showdown between Sara and Damien was epic, and I’m glad she finally truly bested him. I knew of course she wasn’t going to kill him because they made it abundantly clear they weren’t going down that path, but I soooooooooo wanted to see her kill him anyway, time paradoxes be damned. Sigh. I’ll take what I can get though. I’m gonna try not to be too much of an asshole in this section but I can’t say I was terribly upset to see Rip go. It’s not exactly a secret he’s not one of my favorite characters, and there’s especially someone people ship him with that makes me want to punch through windows and throw people through them, but I can appreciate his character growth and how he did become a better person- but really, he didn’t have much of a role to play on the team anymore. I wouldn’t be surprised if he shows up again for an episode or two, but I don’t think he’d come back as a series regular (I type while desperately hoping they’ll have Wentworth Miller come back as a series regular). But not gonna lie, I’m kind of glad to not have to deal with some of that ship shit anymore that just made me irrationally angry. I was kind of surprised to see Nate and Amaya stick around, if only because Guggenheim already said there’s gonna be new characters next season and with just Rip gone, uh, the ship is gonna feel pretty damn crowded. So yeah, that’s basically how I feel. I am mostly just kind of sad that the season is over though, so I think that dominates most of my feelings (which I’ll discuss more of after my prison break reaction). I originally was told legends and prison break were on at the exact same time, but for me at least prison break was right after so it worked perfectly for me. It was pretty typical introductory episode, they got some good establishing facts in there about (of course) the huge government conspiracy they find themselves in the middle of, and what other characters might be doing during this (I’m just saying, they better have a damn good reason for bringing T-Bag back, because that dirty fuckface should never see the light of day again). I’m gonna have a HUGE problem taking Sara’s new husband seriously just because he’s fucking Hank from Royal pains and it’s gonna be pretty much impossible for me to see him as anyone else, and plus he’s already proven himself to be an annoying and clueless little shit so I don’t see this going well for him. Michael Jr. is super cute though. I liked seeing the guys get back together, you know I always love me some Sucre and C-Note. Is Sara living under an alias though? Cuz isn’t she still a wanted fugitive for breaking out of the prison that Michael supposedly died at? Or did they somehow magically get that cleared up to with their endlessly convenient government contacts? Lol. Lincoln fucking cracked me up though, he just calls Sara and is like “so I dug up Michael’s grave…” like great conversation starter there buddy. So yeah, overall good introductory episode and definitely looking forward to the rest of the season. Now, for the other associated feelings. I’ve just having a lot of thoughts lately about becoming an actress and if I would’ve preferred that life to the life that I have, or the life that I will have. Because I watch these tv shows, and I watch the actors get to do awesome stuff, and not even the famous stuff I don’t care about that, but like get to go to cons and be on panels and stuff and I’m just like…..I’m so jealous. Like I’m so unbelievably jealous and everything in me wants that life. Well, that’s not true. Not everything. There is still the logical, rational part of me that tells me I’ll never be satisfied with being anything other than a lawyer. And really, I think that’s the truth. I don’t think I could be okay with doing anything else- I just want both of them so badly. I thought that once I made my decision that would be it- I chose law, and that’s that. I didn’t expect to have so many lingering feelings and to miss acting so deeply. I also have to remind myself that it’s not like I gave up a budding television acting career here. I am aware of my strengths and my flaws in my acting skills and I know that I’m not the best of the best that get those jobs that I’d want. Could I probably make a living off commercials and shit? Probably, but I definitely wouldn’t be satisfied with that. And so I’m so torn. I see them saying they’re gonna add new characters to season 3 and I find myself hoping against not only hope but also all reason that I somehow end up getting cast in one of those rules but somehow not have to abandon law school to do it….I mean, I could always come back and finish my third year…..but how would I even come anywhere close to getting into that audition? And frankly, I want to be in law school. This isn’t some crazy thing I HAVE to do. Would I absolutely love the opportunity to do something like it? Of course. But it’s not something I’m gonna turn my life around chasing after when I already made my choice. I chose the law. I chose justice. I chose fighting for the most vulnerable among us facing the most horrific of circumstances. I chose all of these things because they need to be fixed and I need to be the one to do it. I can’t tell you how I know that, I just do. I could never live a life where that wasn’t my goal- it’s an integral part of who I am. Would I love for acting to work its way into that? Sure, that would be great. But at this point I’m not regretting my choice. As stressful as it is, I like law school. I like my job where the things I do tangibly affect the lives of vulnerable children. I like that I’ve seen so many who know the system is broken and want to be part of the solution (even if that means razing the whole system to the ground and starting fresh, which at this point I think might actually be the best idea, which is by all accounts an absolutely terrifying prospect). And no matter what I could do with fame, assuming I somehow achieved fame, I couldn’t do that myself. I could donate to charities and work with them or whatever, but it wouldn’t be my life. I need to have my entire life committed to this. Anything else isn’t enough. This can’t be an afterthought. It’s who I am and I don’t doubt that for a second. And you know, writing this all out helped me a lot. I really hope I can get some acting in over the summer, a play or two or maybe some student films. But if not, I’m still happy with my choice. Okay, now that I ranted all of that. I watched two episodes of crazy ex-girlfriend before calling it a night, and that did succeed in making my mood considerably lighter. And it’s late now, I don’t have to wake up super early thankfully but still earlier than I’d like. It looks like the official execution of evil plan I can’t tell you about will have to wait till Friday, because there’s no way I’m gonna have the willpower to wake up extra early tomorrow to get it done (and since I have no class on Friday I can sleep in and still do it). Okay, that’s quite enough for now, that was definitely more than long enough. So goodnight my loves. I hope you are content with your lives right now.

#daily journal #April 2017 #Rachel's evil plan