makey makeover - rodrick x hyperfeminine reader
wc: 1.5k
pairing: rodrick x gn hyperfeminine!reader
warnings: rodrick isn't used to being taken care of but only briefly mentioned at the end, rodrick does not know what hyaluronic acid is
summary: rodrick can never say no to you, but if it means having you straddle his lap while you use all your skincare products on him and listen to music together, he wouldn't want to say no anyway.
song recs: makey makeover - crazy ex girlfriend cast, jesus of suburbia - green day, perfect day - hoku
a/n: I started writing a kids book yesterday?? like I finished the first chapter and outline in one sitting???? it wasn't at all planned but when the muse strikes yk. Anyway I don't think it will take me as long to write so if you wanna read a chapter book about magic and girlhood and unicorns and other mythical creatures with bella sara vibes that's probs gonna be ready reasonably soon lol
tags: @yesv01 @magcon7280 @dustyinkpages @the-snake-pit @kiara7777 @inthehoneymoonwithconnorrk800 @followingthefanfiction @2220825 @Maggzsworld @xiaos_crustytoenails @ionlymadethisaccountbcihadto @strawberryjen124 @Isaentremundos @hxnbah
Rodrick likes to think he's a pretty tough guy. Between being born and raised on the rebellious messages of pop punk music, and the nonconforming ideologies of emo and other alt subcultures, Rodrick knows in his bones that he'll never let the man break his spirit. He'll never bow down to someone just because they want him to do something. He's had countless opportunities to stand by these beliefs at school and at home, and he has never - not once - come close to doing anything for someone simply because they want him to. Rodrick has been confident in his ability to never give into other people’s orders, no matter how much they demand of him.
Until now.
“Pretty please, Roddy…?” You pout your glossy lips at him, blinking up at him and batting your doll like eyelashes, and that’s all it takes to make him fold.
“...I guess, if you really-” He’s cut off by an excited squeal from you, and he’s glad that you’re too distracted to notice him blush. Rodrick has never felt his willpower give in so fast, but as he watches you rush around your room and smile, delighted that he’d agreed, he realizes that he’d do pretty much anything you tell him too. Ben and Chris would call him a pussywhipped simp, but… no, that’s pretty much it. He chuckles a little at the thought, watching the pile of stuff grow. He recognizes nail polish and tweezers, but that’s about it.
“Thank you thank you thank you!” You say, rambling happily as you settle down on your bed across from him. “I’ve been wanting to do self care stuff but I’ve done so many everything showers and self care nights there’s nothing left for me to do on myself. But you…”
You take his face in your manicured hands, moving him around to inspect more closely.
“You are in serious need of a facial.”
Rodrick doesn’t really process what you’re saying, he just loves when you touch his face like that.
“...Uh, yeah totally.” He mutters absentmindedly, distracted by your sweet smell. After a moment, he processes what you said, and chuckles, leaning back into your silky pink pillows. “Babe, you can do anything to me, anywhere, anytime.”
You giggle, feeling your face flush a little as you get all your stuff organized. Rodrick runs his hands up and down your waist, fidgeting with your soft fluffy pajama shorts and big loded diper shirt you wear all the time. He sees the little burn marks and worn out hems and realizes it’s the one you stole from him. He smiles softly, loving the way you look in it even more now. His attention is pulled back to you when you push something over his face, brushing his hair back. You adjust the fluffy cat ears on the headband, making sure you have access to his whole face. Rodrick giggles a little, knowing he must look a little out of place wearing a pierce the veil shirt and fluffy kitty cat headband.
“I don’t think my forehead has been this exposed since like, 4th grade…” he chuckles.
“That’s good, you’ll have less sun damage that way.” You smile, putting some micellar water on a cotton pad. It’s a little cold to the touch, but after a moment, the feeling of you gently wiping over his face and neck ends up being way more relaxing than he had expected it to. You throw it away, and he hears it land in your trash can with a crinkle.
“I’m gonna mist your face now, okay?” You say, and he nods. You spray rose water on his face, and Rodrick can’t get over how considerate you are to give him a heads up like that. Rodrick smiles a little as he adjusts to the subtle floral smelling facial spray he’s used to smelling on you. He basks in the quietness of your room, opening his eyes as he watches you sitting on his stomach and looking for the next product. You hesitate for a moment. You feel like something’s missing, but you can’t put your finger on it.
“Oh,” you say, reaching for your phone as you remember. You open up Spotify, and put your favorite playlist on shuffle - the one you and Roddy share. It’s full of both your favorite songs, mostly boiling down to early 2000’s pop punk and trashy pop. It’s chaotic but really does suit you both perfectly. Rodrick smiles suddenly as he instantly recognizes the opening notes of Jesus of Suburbia begin to play. You take out your favorite serum, jasmine and blackberry hydrating jelly, and place a few drops around his face.
“What’s that one?” Rodrick asks, picking up another bottle.
“Hyaluronic acid.”
Rodrick looks at the little dropper bottle.
“Does it, like, melt the flesh right off your bones?”
“No…?” You chuckle, massaging his cheekbones and jawline with your fingertips.
“Then why is it called hydroponic acid?” He asks rhetorically, “Acid is supposed to melt shit.”
You laugh again, and he makes a mental note to sample your laughter for a song at some point in the future. He doesn’t know which one yet, but he knows it will be his best one yet.
You rub some cooling aloe vera gel into his skin, then take out your rose quartz gua sha stone. You tap your fingertips against his chest, and he looks at you with an amused smile.
“What does that do?”
He watches you work, eyes locked on you. He can’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed and peaceful.
“I’m prepping your lymphatic drainage system.”
That clarified absolutely nothing for Rodrick, but he trusts you implicitly. You’re so good at so many things, but Christ, you could write a book on all that girly beauty stuff. It’s way more hardcore than people think it is. You know about all these acids and drainage systems and the pink rock thing, and even though he’s impressed, he’s not at all surprised by how good you are at all this stuff.
You begin gently gliding your gua sha over Roddy’s skin, working from his forehead down to his neck and jawline. He stops talking as you work, and it’s like you melt all of the stress out of his body through his face. He could fall asleep with you touching him so gently like this. After a while you rub some more cream into his face, then place something under his eyes that feels like thinly sliced jello.
“What the fuck?” He asks, bringing another laugh out of you. He watches you take two more of the weird jelly things and put them under your own eyes.
“They’re under eye masks.” You answer with a chuckle. “They hydrate your skin, depuff, and get rid of dark circles.”
“Huh…” he hums in response, playing with the patches as they sit on his face.
Once you’ve used half your arsenal of skincare products on him, you peel off his sheet mask and let him sit up. You hand him a mirror, and as he sits up and stretches a little, kind of wishing you had more to do, he feels like he just woke up from the best sleep of his life.
“So? What do you think?” You ask excitedly. He can’t help but crack a smile at how cute you are. Rodrick takes the mirror you offer him. When he sees his reflection, he almost doesn’t recognize himself.
“Oh my god…” he says with a soft smile. He’s glowing. He doesn’t think he’s ever looked this soft and moisturized and… cared for before. He doesn’t even have any crusty eyeliner from yesterday smudged around his eyes. He can never get it off all the way, but one wave of your magic wand, and it’s gone. He laughs again, touching his cheek. He looks up at you in surprise.
“My face is so smooth…”
“I know!” You exclaim in delight. “So, do you like facials after all?”
You have a feeling you already know the answer, but Rodrick looks up at you anyway.
“Yeah,” he states, pulling you in for a kiss, his lips soft and exfoliated, topped with your favorite strawberry lip balm. You think Rodrick is right, it does taste better in a kiss. After he pulls away, it takes him a minute for his brain to stop short circuiting.
“So… uh, are we doing this again next weekend?”
You laugh at his hopeful tone of voice, how he raises his eyebrows a little.
“Yeah.” You nod, taking him in for another kiss. You take his hands in yours, looking at the stick and poke tattoo he got of the heart you drew on his hand in chemistry class, his little calluses from drumming. “Next week I can do something about your cuticles.”
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I keep coming back to one question: does Izzy know how cruel he's been to Ed?
In s1e3-s1e4, we're shown that Izzy has made a habit out of controlling Ed's perception of situations, demeaning and insulting him to the crew and monitoring his social interactions to isolate him from everyone except Izzy himself, and insulting Ed to his face in order to make him think he needs Izzy around. Ed is clearly desperate for human connection, but Izzy shuts down any topic that isn't an Izzy-Approved Blackbeard Topic, not letting him talk to him about what he's excited about. Izzy is frequently shown lying to Ed in order to get what he wants out of a situation. His behavior is manipulative and controlling from the start, and it only gets worse once Stede enters Ed's life and Izzy tries to pressure Ed into killing him, going as far as to attempt to kill Stede in front of Ed after Ed's told him explicitly to back off. If we're being charitable, we can say Izzy doesn't know how much pain he's causing Ed because he's too focused on trying to "protect" his lifestyle and control Ed's behaviors, so he never really thinks much about Ed's feelings - but, even then, he says in s1e6 he knows Ed "adores" Stede, so he has to know how much killing him will hurt Ed!
And in s1e10, the way he talks to Ed genuinely still gives me goosebumps. He tells Ed he's better off dead than behaving the way he is, painting his nails and writing songs and telling everyone to call him Ed. Izzy goads Ed into reacting with violence by refusing to back down and continuing to mock and berate him, and reacts with glee when Ed chokes him, laughing at Ed's horror once he gets him to respond with violence.
As Izzy himself tells us on his deathbed, the reason for this behavior is clear: he felt like he needed Blackbeard. But how much did he understand what he was doing?
Given how Izzy tends to shut Ed down when he's talking about topics Izzy doesn't think are important, I like to hope Izzy doesn't actually know Ed very well at all. I like this interpretation becasue it makes it a lot easier for his s2 arc to sit well with me.
Because if Izzy really understands how much violence is a trigger for Ed, then his actions in s1e10 move from simply cruel to downright despicable. He would be actively using Ed's trauma response to get what he wants. Izzy's behavior is manipulative, but I like to think he doesn't understand how deeply he's really hurting Ed, because that makes it easier to stomach.
I think it's clear that, even on his deathbed, Izzy doesn't seem to really get it. He admits he's been awful to Ed, saying he "fed your darkness." But he's spent the whole season understating his role in triggering Ed's self-destructive spiral and misunderstanding what caused some of Ed's reactions (like saying Ed shot him because Izzy said he loved him, which is just not what happened).
Izzy says he understands Ed, and I think we're meant to understand he doesn't know jackshit about Ed. Even if Izzy really meant to do everything he did out of "love" for Ed, it wasn't about wanting Ed to be happy, it was about controlling him.
Izzy is, I think, at his most sympathetic when he has absolutely zero emotional awareness. I find his s2 arc much easier to be satisfied with when I assume Izzy still has no idea how much he hurt Ed, because although that still sucks and it makes Izzy seem like a controlling, abusive parent who wanted to ""protect"" Ed and deeply hurt him in the process, it at least doesn't mean Izzy knowingly and willingly took advantage of Ed's trauma when he was in a deeply vulnerable place. It's a lot easier to sympathize with Izzy when you assume he knows as little about Ed as it's possible for him to.
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