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#gina Frangello
dk-thrive · 22 days ago
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The body has an expiration date
I know enough to realize that any reprieve my body is granted is only ever temporary. The body has an expiration date, and for those of us who care enough to forge on, to race the clock, much of our life’s work has to do with keeping that date at bay with maintenance, with spit and Band-Aids and all the laughter and intimacy and love we can cram into any twenty-four-hour day.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 22 days ago
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There are too few words for who and what human beings are to each other. Language is a territory still mostly uncharted. We are the cartographers, every day, still mapping the human heart.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 22 days ago
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it is hard, so unfathomably hard, to reach the age of fifty with hands that are clean?
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, maybe you—now or at some time of your life—have struggled not to hate yourself too—have had to trust, for a time, the love in someone else’s eyes before you could find the strength to claw your way back from the ledge on your own steam? Or am I wrong in believing that if we are fully alive, if we are still growing and changing, it is hard, so unfathomably hard, to reach the age of fifty with hands that are clean?
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021) 
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dk-thrive · 22 days ago
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But so help me, this story is mine
For the girl I used to be, who quite literally wrote herself out of a dead-end violent neighborhood, and for every other girl on earth who refuses to relinquish her reality to the Father’s Tongue, I write. It is not my intention to hurt anyone with this story, even though I realize there are people who will be angry at me for telling it. I am fully aware of the subjective, one-sided nature of my experience—of the fact that dialogue is based on recollection; of the fact that I have no moral right to a monopoly on any narrative. But so help me, this story is mine, even if parts of it intersect with others’ stories. This story is my history, my contradicting truth, my scratched-up lens, my sunlight rather than the dark end of the street. And no man alive can take it away from me. The dirt is coming for us all as we free-fall. This much I know: that eventually, we all have to start screaming well before we hit the ground, so the women below us will understand when to scatter, when to take cover, when it is safe to come back outside and try again to change the world. So that future generations will know, from the echo of our voices, never to stop watching the sky.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 22 days ago
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Time heals, but healing isn’t tidy.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 22 days ago
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We are all judged by the courts of distance and hindsight.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 23 days ago
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Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury of My Mind, everyone I have wronged: add him to this list of so many things I am both sorry and not sorry about. Add him to the list of things I wish I had done differently, but god help me would do all over again.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 23 days ago
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This is who we are, yes.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 23 days ago
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What is the line between self-acceptance, self-love, and a refusal to take accountability?
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 23 days ago
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The heart wants what it wants.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 24 days ago
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He is that sort of person—the kind who appears to have no boundaries at first, who you have to get to know incredibly well to understand that his guileless openness is in part a defense to protect the deeper, more closely guarded things about which he is almost pathologically private.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 24 days ago
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What would be “enough,” I wondered, for the likes of me?
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 24 days ago
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I ended up back
What is true is that my father raised me there oblivious—or volitionally blind—to the neighborhood’s shortcomings, conscious only of its strengths. When I went away to college, he cried. I had betrayed the family. I wouldn’t stay put; I would not learn what he was trying to teach me. He believed I didn’t understand loyalty. I believed that too. I believed loyalty was a trap. I wanted to be Sabina from The Unbearable Lightness of Being. I wanted a life based on betrayals and escapes, and for a time, I created some sexy facsimile of that, although I felt it unraveling in my fingers even as I clutched at it ferociously. In the end, despite years in Madison, London, New England, New Mexico, and Amsterdam, I ended up back in Chicago with my parents living downstairs, just like my grandmothers—first my father’s mother, then my mother’s—resided upstairs from us when I was a girl. I abandoned my fantasy of myself as someone other than my father’s loyal daughter.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 24 days ago
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Had I made any progress at all? Had I gotten anywhere? Did I have anything of my own? Was I anyone?
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 25 days ago
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to how quickly you can, in the blink of an eye, become an unrecognizable version of yourself
I had never felt so physically close to the knowledge of how rapidly and totally a body can decay and break down, all systems failing simultaneously—to how quickly you can, in the blink of an eye, become an unrecognizable version of yourself, your body a locked box from which you cannot escape, capable of only pain, pleasure a distant taunting memory . . . and then, from there, the exhaustion, the numbness, the indifference, the fog of sleep as the only escape from pain and then not even that . . . slipping away entirely without even having the energy to care.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 25 days ago
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Pain and I have met before.
Pain and I have met before. We are old lovers whose relationship was full of tumult and abuse, yet we somehow parted amicably in the end, my drifting away unnoticed without his coming to stalk me as I had expected.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021) 
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dk-thrive · 25 days ago
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I am wary, too, of the ways that narratives focused on our own “failures” can be narcissistic ones that still posit us—me—as the piece of shit at the center of the universe and deprive other people of agency.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 25 days ago
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and lately the shit of my own life has been flying into every imaginable fan
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 26 days ago
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I began to understand that freedom is only ever a fall without a net.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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dk-thrive · 26 days ago
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Maybe that, then, is the definition of freedom: to be neither protected by nor tethered to a man who can fix anything.
— Gina Frangello, Blow Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason (Counterpoint, April 6, 2021)
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