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sevikasmainwhore · 2 years

Note

now please solve the one sided love thing-- please, my heart will not rest until i read it being fixed

It was bound to happen. (one sided love request pt 2)

Requested ⇢ Yes/No

Type ⇢ Headcanons ❥

❤️ It’s time for you to just stop. Maybe Vi was tired of you. You had gotten used to sleeping in the bed alone. She wasn’t coming back. You went to sleep believing that. Vi had came into the room, tiptoeing to your side of the bed making sure not to wake you. She fucked up. She let stress and whatever was clouding her mind get the best of her. Here she sat at the edge of the bed, staring at you, admiring all your features. For the past two weeks she had made you believe that she didn’t love you anymore. She caresses your cheek, going over them. You had dried tears stains on them and Vi’s hearty could’ve broke right then and there. “I’m sorry Y/n” You didn’t do anything wrong. You never have. But Vi had made you think that, made you think it was your fault but through all of it you never stopped loving her. “I don’t deserve you” She whispered. It must’ve not been a good whisper because you’re tossing awake. “Vi…?” Your wiping the sleep away from your eyes. “Hey sweetheart, it’s okay…I’m here..” Everything just came crashing down and the tears started flowing. “Vi…I thought you didn’t love me…” She brings you in for a hug. “I’m sorry Y/n…I swear I never meant any of it..” You bury your face in her neck while shes hugging you like she wouldn’t get this chance ever again. For the rest of night Vi whispered sweet nothings and apologies all over again until you fell asleep in her arms. She loved you with everything in her and she needed to remind you, even if takes all of time, she was gonna make sure you know she loved you.

💙 You didn’t want to be with her anymore. It was exhausting trying to keep up with her. You kept telling yourself “It’s just her job, maybe someone told her something” If that was the case you didn’t want to be around her anymore so that was the plan. You had packed your bags and planned on staying with a friend for a few weeks until you got everything right. You went to bad with that plan, mindset, everything locked in but Cait had different plans. She knew she wasn’t gonna be able to talk you out of leaving so it best if she just showed you how much she really loved you, showed you that you never did anything wrong and it was her. The next morning you woke up you were ready to walk out the door, bags and every thing but when you stepped out of your bedroom you were met with the hallway floor covered in rose petals, the living had pictures of you caitlyn on date nights, pictures from balls Ms. Kiramann had land even off guard pictures you had know idea existed. There were gifts all over the couch and bouquets of all your favorite flowers on the coffee table. “W-what is this..?” You look around the room, your bags long forgotten. Your eyes started welling up with tears. The room was filled with memories and gifts but where was Caitlyn? “Y/n?” You turn around to see Caitlyn coming from the kitchen with your favorite dessert. Your eyes widen in shock. “Caitlyn..” “No, don’t talk.” Caitlyn has been acting like a real bitch and it’s time for her to apologize or at least try to. “Y/n…what I was doing wasn’t right. I know i want to spend the rest of my life with you but whatever I was doing isn’t gonna help that.” Caitlyn continued her apology with a bunch of “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you” It was gonna take a while because Caitlyn made you feel as if you were less than but she was working on getting everything back to the way it was. She loved you from the moon and back.

💛 Mel had made it clear she didn’t want to be with you anymore. It was a constant thought that replayed in your head. It really fucked up your trust with her that you both had worked on together. That thought alone made you toss and turn in your sleep, you’d wake up in cold sweats for reasons you weren’t sure about. Mel took notice of this and rethought everything. Thought about all your past dates, all the unforgettable nights you spent together in each other arms, all the dinners you both laughed over. She didn’t regret anything, she wanted to give you the world and she did, so why was she acting the way she was? She had been played. Mission gone bad that had Mel fooled into thinking she had to me right where she wanted them only for her to be duked and she couldn’t handle it. The thought of her being manipulated instead tore her apart and you figured she was just taking it out on you. You couldn’t live like that so it was best to leave. You had written a note to Mel apologizing for whatever you could’ve done and left it on her night stand but it was no point in it since she caught you in the hallway of her building. “Mel?” You asked. Mel was at a lost at what you were doing with your bags packed, she knew it was bound to happen but didn’t think it would come so fast. She needed to apologize. “Y/n…” She started, her eyes kept going back from you to your bags. “I…I know I’ve been distant” she started but you weren’t sure what to think. She went on about how her mind kept playing tricks on her and how she couldn’t bare the thought of losing you because of some stupid mind game. It was a lot for you, but it was time you said something. “Mel, please” You stopped her. “I love you Mel, but I need more than an apology” The look Mel had in her eyes could’ve made you cry right there. “If this is what it’s like to be with you I don’t know if I can do it” Your voice cracked, your tears just ran down your face. “You need time for yourself to truly figure out what you want Mel.” This wasn’t what you wanted but it’s what was needed. “Y/n…” Her voice was shaking. It was time to let her figure things out on her own. “I’m sorry…” You stopped her. “Say sorry, when you figure things out. Let me leave Mel” You were full blown crying at this point, but after a moment of silence you took your leave, leaving Mel alone in that huge golden bedroom she had. She’ll come around, you both just needed to be alone.

🧡 Grayson didn’t think she was wrong. You could tell from the way she’d avoid you. It made you sick, made you feel unwanted. You couldn’t live like this. It would drive you crazy overthinking the littlest things, trying to convince yourself that she still loved you. It was time you faced the facts and realized that it was over. No one had told her anything, She didn’t come home one day just say she didn’t love you anymore even if it felt like she did. Grayson didn’t love you anymore, and she wasn’t gonna leave so it was probably best you did. The process was slow and grilling but packing up your things you decided it would be best to leave the next day. Maybe give Grayson some time to realize what you were planning. That night as you were getting ready for bed Grayson was in the kitchen doing who knows what. What if you talked to her. Would she answer you? She wasn’t talking to you to begin with so it would’ve been a waste. But then again, it was your last night with her. Maybe a little “I’m going to bed” wouldn’t hurt. Fuck it. You walked out of the bedroom in your Pj’s to Grayson who was having a drink on the kitchen counter. It wasn’t a talk to fix things, just to see where you two stood. Don’t cry Y/n. “Grayson, I need to talk to you” You said. Grayson wasn’t an immature person, not at all, but she did things that made you think twice about that fact. Like now. She didn’t give you a straight answer, only a grumble as an answer for you to keep going. You exhale, holding back tears. Don’t cry. “Grayson…please….listen to me” She finally looked back at you. It was just too much in that moment. You couldn’t do it anymore. “Grayson…I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t want you to keep doing this…” You sobbed in between sentences “It’s obvious you don’t love me anymore. You could’ve done this sooner but you didn’t and I just can’t” By the end of it all you were in full blow tears. You didn’t know the look on her face was but you didn’t care. She probably didn’t care. If that was the case you couldn’t sleep in the same bed as her, you need to leave now. And so you did, or at least you tried to. You made your back to the room, eyes full of tears. You got your bags and was ready to leave but was only met with Grayson staring at you in the door way. You couldn’t tell what she was feeling but it didn’t really matter. “Y/n…” She was speechless. She knew it was bound to happen but it was like she wanted you to stay for a little longer. She reached up to your face to wipe away some tears. She had hurt you bad, real bad and you needed to be left alone.

🤎 Ambessa most likely only kept you around because she got tired of just sleeping around with different escorts. She wasn’t sure what she found in you but you seemed different from everyone else so she decided to just keep you around. The falling in love thing was an accident and she didn’t know how to tell you. Ignoring you and making you feel like you weren’t anything to her was probably her best bet, it wasn’t her first option but she didn’t know how to let you down so easily. She didn’t take your feelings into consideration at all until it was too late. When you finally realized that things weren’t going back to normal, when things weren’t gonna feel like a love story, when Ambessa stopped saying ‘I love you’ you made the decision that it was best to leave on your own sense she had no intentions of doing it on her own. Which brings us here, Ambessa was in her study going over a few war strategies when yoh strolled your way into her room, holding yourself with a worried but sad look on your face. Ambessa didn’t take note of it or more likely just ignored it and went ahead and asked you what you were doing in there. “Um…I’m leaving Ambessa…” You said. Ambessa didn’t respond. Maybe she didn’t hear you. You spoke up again. “I’ll be leaving now…” This time she looked at you as if you were silly. Did she think this was a joke? “Would you like for me to walk you out?” Ouch. That Hurt. Maybe she really didn’t care about you. Maybe she really did only see you as an object of her attraction. That only meant that everything you both had gone through was a lie. The late night talks, The dinners you’d both share, everything you both did together was a lie. Everything just came crashing down on you but you didn’t want to cry in front of her. You bid her a goodbye in a shaken voice and walk away, not knowing where you were going but you knew you needed to get away. Get away from this palace, away from the kingdom and away from her.

💜 When Sevika got home it was like a bomb went off. You were a mix of emotions and she comes home late, smelling like cheap perfume?? It was everything you dreaded. You thought your relationship with her was going well. You both had been on good terms, both had told each other things you’d never tell anyone only for one day it to be thrown all down the drain, to be washed away in some dingy perfume bottle. You yelled at her, you were crying. You were angry at her, angry at yourself for letting this one sided love thing go on for too long. She must’ve known that too because throughout your whole ramble she hadn’t said a thing. She knew what she was doing, she knew what she did was wrong but couldn’t think of a reason why she did it. The yelling and crying went in for a good 25 minutes until you were tired and all you could do was cry. You were at her feet crying, trying to further how could this happen. Sevika couldn’t do anything but look at you at, trying to think of where it went wrong, why did it have to be like this. So full of misery. The next day Sevika woke up to note in her nightstand. “You and I both know we can’t do this anymore.” Sevika didn’t know what to feel. She knew she had lost you, lost your body, your spirit, lost everything. She didn’t want that, but it was her choice.

🤍 Cassandra was always a tough lover. You knew that from the start. So her acting that way was avoidable. I mean it was your fault really, thinking you could change her, even get her to open up to you more. Did she even really love you?? Was this some sort of joke she was playing on you for shits and giggles. It really made you overthink the littlest things. You couldn’t live like that, wondering if everything she did was on purpose or not. You needed to leave. You didn’t know how to feel about it all really. You kept looking back memories of when you both were extremely happy, enjoying each other’s presence and just being the couple you’ve always wanted to be. On the other half you kept remembering all the arguments you had with whenever you tried to speak your peace. She’d get so angry with you and say things that you knew she never meant. That should’ve been a deal breaker right there, but you had more good memories than you did bad. Everything was going good, she would make up for those things until she started being distant. You figured it was just her being her usual self. Until she came to you about sleeping in separate rooms, which broke you. That’s when you knew you had to leave. It would be deadly to stay in a relationship like this. You had already packed your thing and left them at the door so all that was left was to talk to Cassandra, who was in her study. You were to tired to argue with her so just a simple conversation would have to do. “Cassandra…I’m leaving…” You said, Cassandra doesn’t even bother to look up but ask “Where are you going Y/n?” She asked. You said again. “Cassandra…I need to leave…” With that she looks up at you with a confused look. “Y/n…” It finally hits her once she noticed your bags by the door. She started “Y/n…please…we can work something out. We can sleep in the same bed again” She went on, thinking of ways to get you to not leave, which were a waste, you knew she only wanted you there for her reputation. You shook your head “Cass, no…I’m not your accessory. I wanted you to love me like I loved you, but it was just too much for you. And I’m sorry.” With that you made your way to the door. You could hear her trying to get you to come back but it was no point. You and her both knew that she needed to figure things out on her own. She didn’t need love.

💟 You’d always had thoughts that the relationship was never going to last. You two were just different and Renata was never that good with relationships. You always doubted her words of affection and just thought they were out of pity. You should’ve left when you had that first thought now that you think about it. You couldn’t think of what it was that stopped you. Maybe it was the gifts, the late night cuddle sessions you’d both have if she ever had a hard day at work. It could’ve been anything, but never her words. But the time was at its end, you needed to pack up your things and leave. You were nervous of how Renata would react. Would she try to get you to stay? Would she say okay and let you walk out? You debated on leaving. It was actually in the middle of you packing your bags when you heard Renata come in. “What’s all this?” She asked from the doorway, motioning to your bags. The look on your face must’ve caught her off guard because her tense posture cooled down a bit. Until she spoke up again. “Are you leaving?” You weren’t sure what it was you heard in her voice, but you decided to say something. “Ren…” You didn’t know what to say. You wanted to leave, to not feel like this, but how could you tell her that when she’s right here? You didn’t think it would be this hard. A note probably would’ve been better. “I…” “Y/n…Look at me” You didn’t realize you were looking at the ground until she said something. She came over to you, grabbing both your hands. When you made eye contact you could see a bit of hurt in her eyes. It was then you made it final. You had to tell her. “I can’t do this Ren…I just can’t do it anymore…” The dam behind your eyes broke and the tears just came through as spilled your entire heart out. “You don’t love me anymore, you know you don’t. We can’t keep living like this Renata. If you won’t leave then I have too.” Renata didn’t want that, she didn’t know what she wanted. She shouldn’t have put you through any of this if she knew it was gonna be this way. Throughout your whole spill she didn’t say a word. She was just so lost in thought. Too lost to notice you letting go of her. It was all so much and happened in such a span of time, the next thing she knew you were already out the door. She knew she fucked up, but the real question was Did she regret it? It was her choice to act the way she did.

note: with the way things are set up now, i have some fluff coming up next c: also i did not expect this to be that long 😭. i really feel like most of y’all don’t even read these anymore . for starters my girlfriend found my tumblr….

#❥ arcane hc’s #☞ shhhh #arcane #league of legends #vi x reader #arcane caitlyn x reader #mel x reader #enforcer grayson x reader #ambessa x reader #sevika x reader #cassandra x reader #renata glasc x reader

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phenomenalgirl9 · 1 year

Text

Min Yoongi x Reader: The Eternal Prince

🎂💜HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOONGI 🎉🎁

A/n: The whole concept was brought from my head, I was originally gonna make this a vampire story, but I didn't. I am so glad I could take part in this writers colab with so many other talented writers. Find the Masterlist here.

Summary: Everyone heard of the Prince who got curse to be a beast for being too proud of his beauty, ever heard of the Prince who got cursed to have a frozen heart because he was cold? But, only one thing can thaw the ice in his heart, love. And only one person can give it to him, Y/n, will he be able to save her this time round? This time round, will his heart thaw?

Wc: 10.2k

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"Yoongi!!"

"Yoongi......~"

"YOONGIIIII~!"

He jolted up from his sleep, sitting up taking deep breaths, his whole body covered in beads of sweat. The voice still faint in his head, like every other night. Having the same recurring nightmare isn't easy specially if that last a century long. But this night was different, this dream was different from the previous other nights.

Truth is, every night he saw it, the same nightmare, over and over again, of how he lost her. However, a few times before he'd have this different dream, one similar to that one he had today, walking through a dense forest, hearing his name being called among the fogs as he tried his best to keep following it. The voice, he knows it so well, he keeps trying to catch it but it keeps slipping away.

"Fuck" he cursed to himself, this ominous feeling, he knew all too well what's about to happen and he hopes he's ready for it.

So he calls him, his most trusted person.

"Hello Boss?"

"It's on" he says, the one one the other side of the call knowing very well as to what's going on and what he needs to do next.

----------------------------------------------------

"Y/n" you heard a voice call you.

"Y/n.." you heard it again.

"Wake up!" You heard and then suddenly you felt a gush of cold. What the fuck?, You thought, and jolted up in a sitting position, only to find your best friend standing infront of your bed with a smirk on his face and an empty tumbler in his hand as you saw hin run away the moment he saw you wake up.

"PARK JIMIN!!!!!!!!" you shouted

"Bitch stop complaining I helped you, now you won't have to take a shower!" He shouted as you chased him around your shared apartment. Finally giving up you sat down on a chair as Jimin came to stand infront of you and say "Seriously? 19 years and you still can't catch me. Why do you even try" he says almost mocking you "Anyways don't you have an interview today?"

You nodded "Yeah, I was quite nervous, I could not sleep all night"

"I know, I heard you playing music when I woke up for water in the middle of the night" he said.

"Then why did you wake me like that!" You asked throwing him a punch but missing

"Cause it's fun" he said "Now get up, I called you early enough so you can ponder over what to wear and how to style up for a good 45 mins." And with that he walked to the kitchen.

You knew Park Jimin, since when you both were in diapers, his parents and yours being neighbours all their life. His father Park Chanyeol was a very good friend of your father. Going through school and then college together, he's always been your constant. Be it a failed test or a bad break up, he was always there for you to pick up the pieces, and so were you for him.

You took a shower and quickly looked up picking what to wear, taking a good ten minutes to decide and finally showing it to Jimin and getting his approval.

"Were those beige shoes you bought last month, they'll go great with them, but if your gonna wear that ug scarf, might as well wear crocs" he suggested. Yes, your bestfriend had the best fashion sense and a huge sass, yes he's gay af. As if on que you saw Jackson walk out of his bedroom,Jimin placed three plates on the counter and filled each with beacon and eggs and a glass of orange juice.

"Thanks babe" Jackson said as he kissed him on his cheek and saud "Good morning Y/n, ready for the interview"

"I don't know, it's MYG's, I really want to get this one" you said.

"You will, don't worry okay" Jimin said stuffing some eggs in his mouth "You'll rock the interview"

After getting a hug and all the bests from your bestfriend and his boyfriend you walk out of hour house and drove your car to the address they gave you for the interview.

MYG's one of the most well known and huge company, rather a business empire run by hereditary business tycoon Kim Namjoon. They literally have subsidiary companies in everything and you don't even know how they got hold of your profile, but this was a huge opportunity for you since you graduated 2 years ago. Being a PR for the mother company would be a great deal and that's the post you were offered if you were to pass this interview.

You parked your car and entered the building. Wah, you sighed, everything looked so modern and stylish. You walked up to the receptionist and asked "Hello, I'm here for an interview"

"May I know your name?" She asked

"Y/n L/n" you said

"Ah sure, please go down the corridor on the right and take the elevator to the 12th floor, you'll be guided from there" she said with a bright smile.

You smiled and mumbled a thank you and she threw an All the best and you went through the way she told you. As soon as the elevator dinged and the door opened to the 12th floor, you found a very handsome man who welcomed you as you left the elevator.

"Ms. L/n I presume?" He asked and you nodded "I'm Kim Taehyung, HR manager and brother of CEO Kim. Come this way" he said leading you through a specific door and inside you found two other men sitting. One you recognised as CEO Kim but the other. The man with porcelain skin and the most beautiful face you have ever seen, he looked vaguely familiar but you can't really remember from where. You found his eyes on you, that kinda made you feel intimidated, his piercing gaze seemed to bore into your soul and read even your deepest secrets and desires. However, for some reason he resembles a cat.

"Do you have a copy of your resume?" Kim Taehyung asked.

"Yes" you said and looked into you bag and took out your file. Only to find that your copy of resume wasn't in it.

"I'm so sorry I-" you paused, you were sure you put everything inside yesterday night before you went to sleep.

"Not even into the job and already careless?" The guy with porcelain skin asked

"I'm so sorry, sir" you said bowing

"It's alright Ms. L/n, mistakes happen" CEO Kim said and opened a laptop "We have all the soft copies here"

Soon, they started to ask you questions about your life and you kept answering them correctly. Then they started asking situational questions and the two Kims actually seemed to be getting impressed by your answers. However, the Cat guy seemed to have it out for you. Every time you gave an answer he kept countering with more questions, trying his best to find loopholes in the answers. However, in the end CEO Kim said "Ok that's all. I think we got everything we needed. You can wait downstairs, we'll get back to you"

As you left you looked at the Cat guy who almost sent a glare your way before he joined in the hushed discussion that had already started in hushed tones.

You waited for around 20 minutes in the lobby, when you found Mr. Kim walking towards you with an envelope and an adorable boxy smile. He stepped up in front of you and said "Congratulations"

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Thank you Mr. Kim" you said taking the envelope.

"Oh. Just Taehyung is fine" he said "If you have any questions you can come to me"

"Can I ask one now?" You asked

"Sure"

"Um... Who was the third guy there in the interview, the one with the porcelain skin?" You asked

"Oh that's Director Min, you'll be working under him" he said

"Wah, doesn't seem like he liked me" you said scratching your head.

"Oh, don't worry, he doesn't like many people, out front. But if you get to know him, you'll know he's a softy" he said with a smile, and you tried your best to smile back.

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You punched in the code eagerly, and found the two on the couch.

"You're back!?" Jimin asked

"Guess who works for MYG~" you sung

"No way!" Jimin cursed and looked shocked but rushed to hug you "Congratulations" even though you noticed how he got shocked but didn't care too much at that moment.

You were excited for your first day and were sure you'd do your best.

And hence the day came, you got ready and made double sure that everything was in your bag, that was when you found that your ID card wasn't in it. You rushed to your room to find it on the dresser, strange, you were sure you put it in the bag but hurriedly you put it on and rushed to your car.

You were ready in your seat well before time, right when the shift starts a pretty woman walked up to you and introduced herself as Kim Jennie.

"You're the CEO's sibling?" You blurted out

"Yes" she said with a bright smile and went on to explain your duties and you had to report to Director Min directly. As if on cue you watched him walk in and everybody including you greeted him.

"You, newbie" he pointed at you, "In my office, now" he said in a cold tone, and rushed to his cabin. You followed him.

"I don't like waiting or late reports" he said the moment you entered.

"Yes sir" you said.

"You run into an issue, mess up, get stuck, have any doubts, you come to me? Clear?" He said sternly

"Like crystal sir" you said

"I'm mailing you 4 files, sort them out before lunch, you may leave" he said. You immediately turned and left. Once out of the door you released a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"He really said that?!" Taehyung said laughing so hard he almost fell off the chair.

"Oh he can be scary" Jungkook who had the seat beside you and was now having lunch with you and Taehyung said. You got to know that Taehyung and Jungkook were childhood friends. Suddenly, you heard your name being called and turned to find Jennie.

"Mr. Min is calling for you, urgently" she said.

"And this is just day 1" Jungkook muttered.

You went back and into his cabin and asked "You called sir?"

"Yes, I thought I told you to be careful with the report, there was an error in the 3rd file" he said turning his laptop screen towards you.

"That's not possible I triple checked it" you said

"Well you checked wrong. This better not happen again. Go" he said.

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(time skip brought to you by Suga's gummy smile)

"It's been six months? Already?" Jennie said

"This needs to be celebrated!" Jungkook suggested.

Yes, it has been six months since you started working at MYG. Director Min had worked you through and through every working hour of these 6 months. You learnt that he is a cold human and was actually friends with nobody to a level where nobody knew his first name. However, your two colleagues Jennie and Jungkook and superior plus friend Taehyung help you survive the days. Hence, the four of you decided to grab some drinks after work.

"Cheers to reports" you said

"And Director Min screaming at you" Jennie added with a wierd giggle. It was the fifth round and damn was this girl a mess, though you'd lie if you'd say you don't feel tingly yourself, you're beyond tipsy and hence, you giggle back,

"Man he hates me" you say "But you know its strange how he's able to find flaws even when I know there were none" you say pouting "but he's so cute" you said lying your head down on the table.

"Cute? Director Min? Cute? Omo. You've wasted your brain" Jungkook said also giggling

"I can't remember where I have seen him though, I'm quite sure I have seen him. Where?" You said very lightly "Why does my heart hurt when I try to remember where" in whispers to only yourself

"It'll come soon" you heard Taehyung mumble.

"Okay! I think we should leave, we still have work tomorrow, remember?" You said and watched as the rest of them gathered their things. And walked out with them, you put Jennie and Taehyung in a cab and Jungkook to climb into one, where you parted ways. The night was nice and your apartment was nearby so you decided to walk the rest of the way. You were glad you did though, the wind felt so nice against your face, it was refreshing.

That was until you found two sketchy guys eyeing you from the other side of the sidewalk. You tried to seem unfazed and walk, a few cars were passing through the street, but none went at a speed where they'd notice the sidewalk. You sent a prayer that you'd be safe when you heard one call.

"What's woman like you doing alone at night?" One of them said walking to you. Both were dressed in black.

You kept walking.

"Hey where are you going doll?" The other asked

"Why don't we have some fun?" 1st one said and grabbed your hand.

"Let. Me. Go" you said in gritted theeth

"ooh! A fiesty one" the second said

"What would you do if I do not?" The one grabbing your wrist said, you could swear you saw his eyes glowing green for a fraction of a moment. You felt your feet freeze where they were even your tongue felt heavy. Did you drink something?

"Cat got your tongue?" The second one said, inching closer.

"I think the lady said to unhand her" you heard a cold voice, but damn was that voice familiar.

And he was swift, he simply grabbed the man's hand and the guy started screaming, the other ran away as the first one cowered in from of him. Until he let go and the man ran for the hills.

"Are you all right?" He asked

"Yes sir" you said rubbing your wrist.

"Come let me drop you" Yoongi said and you just followed him.

"I stay near by" you mumbled

"And your point?" He asked. You just shook your head and climbed into the passenger seat.

He suddenly came very close to you, you heart almost skipped a beat and you were about to say something when he pulled the seat belt and attached it to the side. So he was attaching the seat belt? Why did your heart go wild for a moment? Is it the alcohol? Must be the alcohol, you decided. Your eyes went to the mirror and it stayed stunned at the back seat. Theres a box and a very familiar box but like always you can't remember where you've seen it. You looked at Yoongi but decided to stay quiet.

When you reached home, Yoongi literally walked you to your door. You punched in the password and walked in and locked. Yoongi took a long breath and walked away.

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"Didn't I tell you to be careful when you opted to befriend her" Yoongi spoke through the phone.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten drunk" was heard from the other side.

"Thank God, I was passing by Taehyung, do you realise what could have happened? I can't do the same thing again!" Yoongi said his voice almost sounded.

"I know. You just found her" Taehyung said.

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"You rode with your boss?!" Jimin said.

"Why didn't you call us to get you from the bar?" Jackson asked

"I figured you guys must be tired and it was really close so I wanted to walk" you said sheepishly.

"Thank God, you're safe. Come lets eat, the breakfast is getting cold" Jimin said sighing.

The day was uneventful, you never brought up that incident, but strangely everytime you looked at Mr. Min you felt some type of way and that box he had, why does it seem familiar to you? It looks quite old now that you notice it sitting on his cabin couch.

"What are you looking at?" The cold voice asked.

"No nothing" you said and tried to scurry away but on your way to the door you felt dizzy and lost your balance.

"Careful" Mr. Min said and rushed to your aid.

[A/n: (y/n) is your nick name]

"(y/n) are you okay?" Mr. Min exclaimed his stoic face in vissible panic.

"Wha-what did you call me?" You asked

"Y/n. Y/n" he said as he helped you up and moved to the couch. And you looked into his eyes, and a name left your lips. You've never heard of it before, you don't know who it is. But you knew now its him.

"Yoongi"

Yoongi's eyes went in shock as you broke into a fits of coughing, you lungs were on fire and you felt like you throat was filling up with water. Like someone was pushing you underwater. You felt the cabin fade away and the scenery changing.

Your body fell limp on Yoongi's arms that were trembling. He waited 120 years without you, and now that you're here. You're in danger again.

----------------------------------------------------

You couldn't breathe, the water was rushing inside your systems, but you couldn't pull yourself up, the force on your neck was too much. But suddenly they pulled you and almost threw you aside.

"Hey are you okay?" A voice said. No its not from any of them.

You couldn't speak so you shook your head a no. You rubbed your eyes and finally looked up to find a pretty boy with golden locks. Your eyes widened in realisation and you bowed.

"Prince!"

"No, no, please don't bow. It's okay. I'm sorry about my cousins" he said, referring to the guys that were bullying you previously.

"Please don't apologise, it's okay" you said.

"But I feel bad" he said, suddenly you see him set down, a long "something" wrapped in a cloth, that you were noticing now, in the ground and sat down in front of it. He untied the ribbons to reveal an instrument, a guqin.

"I'll play something for you" he said with a gummy smile. You sat up straight.

"This should also make you feel better" he said as you nodded. Soon the air filled with the sweet sound of the strings. The music soothed your nerves and brain, as you closed your eyes.

You opened your eyes to see a meadow and the very known blonde boy, but now a bit grown up sat.

"You called me so urgently what happened?" You asked looking at his beautiful face, with the eye path on his right eye.

"I completed the song" he said

"Who could think the great heir of the Min Dynasty, makes love songs for his lover" you said as you caressed his cheek. You sat down comfortably facing him. As he started plucking at the chords.

(this is what he played)

You kept listening to the melody, almost getting lost in them. Yoongi was never good with words. So he used music and right now, this music told you everything. His love and longing for you. His want, and how he feels a pull towards you. He made you a song.

"It's so beautiful. What did you name it?" You asked. "I haven't" he said with the gummy smile.

Years pass, as the two of you grow closer and dearer. Yoongi got marriage proposals from far away lands but he never gave in. "The Queen summoned me today" you told Yoongi as you combed through his hair, it was his order that nobody but you are supposed to touch his hair since he started growing it. You combed through his golden locks as he motioned you to continue "Please meet with the Princess of Ilbon" you told him.

As he sat back down you restarted your work on his hair, him watching you through the mirror, to others he was the cold Prince Min Yoongi, but to you he was just Yoongi, your Yoongi. There was a knock and you opened to see the broad shouldered friend and employee of Yoongi. "Sire, your mother wants to see you, she seems unwell" said Kim Seokjin. The Kims have been serving the Mins since the start of the Min dynasty, but the relationship between Seokjin and Yoongi was more like friends than Master and Servant. "Is she finding herself ill again?" Yoongi asked. "Well, that's what she told me, not like she looked the part if you asked me" Seokjin said, while bowing his head to greet you as you did the same.

"What?! Y/n? You know I won't" he said, "Why?" You asked. Yes, you did, even though you knew the answer, he just gave you a look "Yoongi, you can't hold onto that, we were kids, It's okay. Do what's good for the kingdom" you said. "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT A FOREIGNER WOULD BE GOOD FOR THE KINGDOM?!" he asked, you flinched at his tone, he instantly felt bad for shouting at you. "Your mother said You're his friend, make him understand what's good for him and the kingdom, so here I am" you said. "I am the future ruler, I decide what's good for me and my kingdom, I will soon be on the throne and I will change the royalty for matrimony rule, abolish it once and for all" he said, and stood up, his hair cascading his face now, as he turned around those feline looking eyes now set on you, you'd lie if you'd say they don't set a sort of fire inside you "You. Are. Not. My. Friend" he said as he took a step with every word while you were mesmerized in your place. He walked close, almost too close, your hands now on his chest "If I marry someone what would you do? Marry someone else too?" He asked. You felt his arms snake around your waist and with one tug now you stood against him chest to chest "Would you let him touch you the way I DO? Would you let another man get this close to you?" His eyes were sharp, and he looked like he could see through you down to your soul, it was intimidating yet comforting in a strange way. "Words, (y/n)" he said, you blushed at the name he gave you, only he ever called you that. "I could never" you whispered, "Neither could I and I wouldn't let that happen. Do you trust me?" He asked as you nodded "Then wait for me" he said, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face "I will make you mine and I will be yours" he said and pulled you closer with adoration in his eyes.

Yoongi soon became king, after his mom declared that she was 'too ill' to continue to shoulder the kingdom. After some months of his reign, Yoongi declared his decision to abolish the Royalty for Matrimony rule, you saw him less than you used to and sometimes you didn't see him for weeks, but you still had him in your heart. You'd still see him in the mornings to do his hair on the days he was in the castle. Then, after his long travels when he came back and you massaged his scalp and helped him wash his hair and take care of it. Sometimes you had these lazy evenings when he would order to not disturb him for the rest of the night. You'd sit and stare at him as he would play his guqin. It was a sight to watch Yoongi with his flowy blond hair in a low ponytail, sitting patiently playing the instrument he loved the most for the person he loved the most. The same man who is called fearsome and heartless by so many around him. One would say so if they saw him in business. How after some gruesome debates and a few dates of discussion he did it, he got the ministers on board and made his mother acknowledge the abolition of the Royalty for Matrimony rule.

Every nobleman and minister were eager to set someone from their family up with Yoongi. Meanwhile Yoongi was unwilling to even see anybody else, he raised your station in the household, he was told nobody was to order you around except him, the other housekeepers even though were jealous never stepped out of line. You had told him not to suddenly jump into deciding to marry you else the court will say he bent rules for his advantage. It was around this time she came into your life. That day, you were just passing by the fields carrying fresh flowers for the King's bed chambers. As you passed by the training field you could feel eyes on you and you looked to find no other than the feline-like eyes of the king himself on you, following every move of yours. Seokjin noticed that from afar and smiled to himself, his poor friend and sire just couldn't keep to himself when it came to you. You enter the castle to see the prettiest woman enter the castle doors with two maids. "Hello? Can I help you?" You had asked, "I'm here to meet the king and give him my greetings, from the House of the Parks" she said "I'm Park Jihyo" she said. You bowed to her and said "Follow me this way madam, the king will be informed of your arrival" you said.

You sent off some maids to inform Yoongi and took Jihyo to the sitting lounge. You looked at her, she was so pretty, and charismatic there was something strange about her though, you couldn't put your finger on what, you knew by the name that she's the eldest of the Park household, then again the Parks were always secretive, you knew most of the noble men were scared of her father Park Jinyoung but, you never knew why.

Yoongi soon came in, his hair a bit damp with sweat, his long sword in his hand, he walked into the room, and handed you his sword, his eyes lingering on you for sometime before greeting Park Jihyo. She brought a letter from her father, that Yoongi read and then said "Sure, you are welcome to stay in the castle as long as you need" he said and motioned Seokjin to perform accordingly, Jihyo was about to say something but Yoongi had said "So I'll leave you in Seokjin's care" and walked off motioning you to follow.

When you entered his room he closed and locked the door, "Did she give you off vibes?" He asked and you nodded and said "Don't all the Parks do?" You say. "Seokjin keeps telling me these rumours of the eldest of the family having what powers" he says "She'll be staying for a few weeks and her father requested if I sheltered her in the castle he'll be rest assured. You stay aware of her okay?” he walked to you and held you by your shoulders. "I'll be fine" you assured him, "I know, my queen" he said kissing your cheek, instantly heating your face up. "(y/n)" Yoongi proceeded to say in your ears as he wrapped his arms around your waist and you did the same around his torso. He brought his face painfully close to yours "Don't you have kingly duties to tend to? Sire?" You asked. "Fuck them, they can wait" he said and attached his lips to yours, the kiss wasn't hurried or hungry it was lovely and passionate. Yoongi wasn't one for much skinship but it were these rare moments that you enjoyed the most when he couldn't seem to get enough of your touch. His tongue brushed against your lower lip as you granted him entrance. Your hands intertwined behind his neck as you pulled him closer. His hands did the same, due to lack of contact with your skin but that had to do right now cause the two of you could hear the knocks from the door.

_____________________________________

Slowly, you remembered all, all the rejected and disregarded advances Jihyo made on Yoongi. Her coy eyes towards him that you always were somehow afraid of, but Yoongi paid no heed. Until that night, the night of his birthday, the night he decided he will announce his relationship with you to the court and his decision to marry you. The small gala with the closest people of the King and the royal family was going well, Yoongi was supposed to say all that before the feast however as the guests moved to the dining hall, Jihyo who was missing for the rest of the evening was seen. Strange, you had thought she must have gone home after the rejection she faced the previous day when she professed her love to Yoongi.

You noticed something shining in her hand and saw the way she was marching forward toward Yoongi, without thinking twice at the final moment you launched yourself between Jihyo and Yoongi shielding him from the dagger, it entered you gut and you felt the sheer pain in your stomach "NO! IT WAS MY seth-salm for YOONGI! YOU IDIOT" Jihyo screamed and stomped as you felt the dagger suck on your life. You held onto the ivory dagger with intricate design to pull it out, it felt like it was burning your insides.

"Y-y-y/n?! Y/N! (y/n)! NO NO NO NO NO" Yoongi rushed to hold you onto his lap, as tears stung his eyes. Seokjin immediately siezed Jihyo at the edge of his blade.

"So it's her? For whom you rejected me in cold blood?! So what if she took your curse for you! " She immediately held unto the blade Seokjin was pointed at her and cut her hand and dripped blood from it and said "I Park Jihyo curse you with the frozen heart. You will live on and watch her die again and again" she said.

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU AND YOUR TWISTED MIND!? Y/N!" Yoongi screamed. Just like that Jihyo had vanished among the crowd as Seokjin took one glance toward Yoongi with you on his lap. He commanded the guards to be alert and called for the healer.

"(y/n), (y/n), please please stay awake, you will be alright" he told you. "Yoo-Yoongi" you said and placed your already cold hand on his cheek "I'm too tired Yoongi, I'm so sorry. Live on, be good, maybe in our next life we-we will..." You couldn't complete it. Your lymph body cold and lifeless was lying on his lap, his clothes and hands red with your blood.

_____________________________________

The scene shifted, this was a century later. You remembered this day, when you first saw Yoongi again. You were immediately drawn to that traveller, the glaces he gave you. How he looked at you like someone who hasn't seen someone dear in ages when you first talked to him to take his order at your father's inn. The traveler had something long wrapped in cloth tied to his back, you remember watching him play this long looking string instrument one night by the window.

It all came to you, how he had saved you from some ferals at night one time, how he had rushed to check if you were hurt. And then the rush of adrenaline and the memories. You remembered how you had remembered your previous life. Tears had welled into your eyes as you had hugged him when you woke up. You remembered how he and his companion Kim Jongin had explained to you whatever they had found out in their journey.

"Seth- salm the curse of 3 lives, you get three lives and if you don't find what you were set into the curse for your soul will disintegrate. Here, Park Jihyo had set in 'falling in love' as the curse. She cursed me with a frozen heart and only true love can thaw that, for me to be able to get old. Which I wanna do with you this time" he said holding your hand.

The universe gave you a second chance, you felt, even with all these twisted curses though. You knew this man and you knew you loved him, even though love doesn't come that easily. And you did, the two of you fell in love again, you had kissed a couple of times too but the curse never seemed to break. But, you spent more time together, he barely left your side, he played his guqin for you. You remember, getting a custom made box for it so that he doesn't have to wrap it and tie it and could simply carry the Guqin with him. You had personally drawn the designs on it then got your trusty cousin Jung Hoseok to carve it for you.

It felt like something was missing in the whole equation so, Yoongi had to travel and find the answers with Jongin. He left his brother Kim Seungmin as he said that there were "dangers". Indeed having Seungmin was a help he helped around in the inn and fended off this hooded old woman that came up and pestered you from time to time.

One night you remember waiting outside the inn, for the arrival of your lover. When you notice that old woman again, Seungmin was about to shoo her off when an overgrown man hit him in the back and he dropped in pain. Then the old woman revealed her face, whom you expected to be old was actually a disguise. That face, you knew that face too well. By the time Yoongi had arrived he found you, your family lying lifeless only Seungmin was left who informed them what happened.

_____________________________________

Yoongi was driven by rage and despair again after centuries he tried it, he tried to slit his throat but no matter how deep the cut, it healed up. He couldn't bleed to death, get sick or die. He was stuck in life, in a life without you. He was irresponsible and he lost you again. What is he gonna do without you. How is he gonna live, he could try to find Jihyo but it's been useless, he never found her, even after all these decades of searching. It was futile to search for her if she didn't want to be found.

"Live on, be good" always echoed in his head

_____________________________________

Back to present day

Your eyes fluttered open, you were in a luxurious looking room, you saw Yoongi sitting at the far end of the bed reading an ancient looking book. You recognised the cover, it was yours, you had a habit of writing poetry in your second life, he still had it?

"You still have it I see" was what you said, and he looked at you with mixed feelings of love and concern bubbling inside of him "I still have everything you ever gave me" he replied. "I can see", you say eyeing the long box that you had been finding familiar. You look around and spot the hanging charm you had made for Yoongi for his birthday in your first life, you had given it to him the morning of the day you died. That hair pin you gave him on your 3 years anniversary in your second life.

"How do you feel?" He asked, slowly walking closer to you, but the previous look in his eyes shifted away.

"I feel like I was run by a bulldozer" you said, touching the bridge of your nose. You looked at him, his hair now pitch black, you liked the original blonde more though, you wish you could remember how running your hand through them felt like. You tried to reach out for his hair but he flinched, you felt stupid now. "Listen you're in this situation because of me, I'll do my best to break your curse or at least keep you safe in this life. Outside that you're not entitled to anything Y/n" his answer was cold, making you feel chilly to the bone. Why?

The Yoongi in your memories was so warm towards you then what's wrong with him now. You didn't notice when he left the room and Director Kim Namjoon had entered. "Do you need to call someone?” he asked. "Huh?" You were puzzled for a moment, you tried to gather back your thoughts and said "Yes, my friend Jimin, he would be worried sick. I need to go home" you said. "Why? You're safer here" he stated, which was true but you haven't really ever faced anything there. "I'm safe in my home too, I think I've overstayed my welcome" you said as you stood up, finding your shoes and wearing them, you put your hand out and said "My things?"you asked, and he signalled you towards the couch.

"Good night, Y/n" he said as you left the car. All this was too much information. What are you supposed to do? Maybe look through the internet or find some books? Gosh how did your life take this turn? If you didn't succeed this time your soul would disintegrate, would it hurt? Would you cease to exist?

You checked your phone to find 3 missed calls from your mom, 2 from dad and 5 from Jimin, and like a 15 texts from the same 3 and Jennie, gosh this guy is more worried than your parents. You texted him that you'd be home soon and looked beside you at Kim Namjoon's side view as he drove. The words rung in your head 'The Kims have been serving the Mins since the Min dynasty's beginning' so that means the Kim siblings are actually Yoongi's employees, and MYG, Min Yoongi. "Don't think too much" you heard Namjoon say, "He's just hurt, he's afraid to lose you and be the only one left behind, again" he said. And you realised why he was cold to you, he didn't want to get attached again. "The woman Park Jihyo, what is she?" You asked. "She and her family were something like satanists, there have been rumours for a long time that she sacrificed the heart of her father to gain immortality" he said. "Is that true?" You asked, remembering her face that was ected into your mind. "Well, she IS still alive" Namjoon said with a shrug. "Did you find out why the curse didn't break the last time?" You asked, only for Namjoon to shake his head "We never found that out, well Mr. Min said that your....ahem... Acts of love weren't enough but we have no clue what more is there to it. The only person who could have known her father was soon killed after you died, the first time."

"So you live with 2 men?" Namjoon asked curiously, strange. "Technically, I live with Jimin, and Jackson is his boyfriend who has his own place but stays at ours like a homeless brut. Jimin and I have been friends since we were children" you told him about your friendship. He smiled and said "It's good to have a dependable friend" With this he pulled in front of your building's gate.

You returned home to a worried Jimin and told him you were just drenched in work. You looked up the things you learnt on the internet. The 'Min dynasty', 'their rulers', you found out how King Min Yoongi had stepped down after the death of his lover and passed the throne to his cousin leading to the fall of the Mins eventually. 'Park Jihyo' nothing found. 'The castle' that is still supposed to be there but nobody can enter as it's in a privately protected area guarded by wild dogs. 'Curses', 'Act of love' 'Breaking curses'. You literally made notes, you tried to find out more about the later topics even though most of the information you found could only be considered for a grain of salt.

The next few days were usual, you went to the office and returned home. Yoongi was as cold as ever, he rarely even looked at you if it wasn't for any need, let alone talk to you. He didn't even find mistakes in your reports like before.

_____________________________________

"Where were you?" Jackson asked from the couch as you entered the apartment. "Where's Jimin?" You asked. "He left hours ago, something about someone needing help, his mom?" He said. Jimin's mom? You didn't remember her much for some reason, she was rarely around, she worked abroad was what you knew, he hardly spoke about her. 'Is she back in town?' you thought and were about to ask but your phone rang, you were sure to see Jimin but were shocked to see the name flashing.

'Jungkook'

Why would he call you at this hour, you nodded towards Jackson and walked towards your room, "Hello, Jungkook?" You spoke. "Hey, Y/n, are you home yet?" He asked. "Yeah I just came in, why?" You asked. "I needed you to process 2 emails, they were urgent so I thought I'd call you up" he said. "Send them over and I'll process them" you said, and he hung up the call. You were contemplating if you should wash up first or check your laptop, when you heard the doorbell go off. It's probably Jimin you thought, but why would he ring the bell?, "Jackson? Is it Jimin?" You walked to your door only to find Jackson on the ground, collapsed and the door wide open. "WHO IS IT?" you asked as you grabbed your phone, and slowly walked towards Jackson, you could see him breathing so he was probably just knocked out.

Suddenly, you felt a heavy hit at the back of your head. You slipped and fell forward, "Aww I'm so sorry Y/n-ie." You heard a familiar voice.

"Ju- Juh-Jung-Jungkook?" You asked, your felt darkness creep into your vision and mind. Is this how you die? Again?

"Sleep Y/nie, sleep~" was the last thing you heard.

_____________________________________

"What do you mean she didn't come in?!" Yoongi asked, banging his laptop shut.

"I called her emergency number which is her roommate, who said that she left home for office today, just like every other day" Jennie said. "Get the security to check the building and send Taehyung to check the route she takes from home" Namjoon said as he glanced at your table through the glass in Yoongi's cabin.

"Where is Jungkook?" He asked. "He is on leave, he went back to his hometown" Jennie said and He nodded in rememberance. Soon Taehyung came rushing in and was given his information, he was about to rush out when he asked "What is her roommate's name?" He asked.

"Park Jimin" she said, and the eyes of the three men went wide, as they looked at each other. That was when the bells in her mind rang. "Could he be?" She asked. "It's a possibility" Taehyung said. They rushed to their parts and Yoongi kept calling you and Namjoon tried to catch a connection to your cell phone through that. It was impossible until you or someone at least picked the call up.

Taehyung reached your apartment address and he rang the bell, It had been fifteen minutes and he had rang the bell 7 times and there wasn't any response so he tried the next best thing, he twisted the door knob to find it open, he was shocked, he rushed in to find man lying right infront of the door. Taehyung checked his vitals and found him to be asleep, he swept the whole apartment but there was no sign of anyone else or even breaking and entering. He tried to shake the man awake but he couldn't, he was probably under a spell. "Damn", he cursed and called up Namjoon to let him know. "Nobody, just this dude lying and sleeping on the ground, seems to be under a spell", to which Namjoon said "It must be the Jackson guy", then Taehyung revealed the next part of the news "and I found Y/n's phone on her nightstand it was attached to the charger" he said.

"Shit! She's been missing since last night!" Namjoon summoned him back. "What do we do?" He looked at Yoongi beat up. "I think she took her" Yoongi said sitting down. "No! No! Oh God! I'm gonna lose her forever" he mourned, his eyes were glassy "I didn't even tell her that I loved her!". "Hyung! Take a hold of yourself, last time you felt this ache in your heart and a dread, do you feel it?" Namjoon asked. "No. How do you know this?" Yoongi asked. "I read Granpa Jongin's journals. Think, where she could take her. I think she's still alive, I am certain" he told the elder man.

"The castle!" Yoongi's eyes went wide "or the Park estate, I know it's still there in Ilsan" he said confused.

"We'll have to split up then, you take Taehyung and four men to the castle. I'll go with four more to the estate. I can't connect with my bug there it's fishy. I'll call Bang now" Namjoon said and Yoongi nodded. He hoped what Namjoon said was right. One of Bang's men was driving and Yoongi instructed the men to not look into the eyes of anybody they met in there directly. As they inched closer to the location, Yoongi could feel the heavy energy. Thank God for Bang's driver who covered the 6 hours drive in 3.

_____________________________________

Your eyes opened when your body came in contact with a rough and cold surface. Your head felt groggy and heavy. You felt pain on the back of your head, you tried to reach up but realised your hands were tied and you struggled and slowly opened your eyes. You saw two figures in front of you and tried to focus, your brain went blank when you realised who they were.

"J-J-J-Jimin? Ju-Jungkook? Why?" You said and coughed, your throat felt parched.

"For someone with such history, you do trust that easily" Jungkook said "And you're a stubborn one. How did you even manage to warm up to the prince after all those harsh words you took in at each of my sabotages" and all the incidents washed into your mind every time Yoongi scolded you for mistakes in various things, now you know how. But, Jimin? You looked at him, he was supposed to be your best friend.

"Do you remember my full name Y/n? PARK Jimin. Do you know my mother's name? PARK Jihyo" he said and your eyes went wide "Yeah my father was just a pawn, a commoner my mother married, but luck was in our favor look where you took birth. Giving me a chance to finally make my mother proud and make her acknowledge me! Something none of my past siblings could do!" He added

Tears stung your eyes, as you see a female figure walk in "Aigo, Jimina, pick her up from the cold ground. Is this how I taught you to treat your friends?" She asked, feigning surprise. She still looked the same as you had seen her in your last life. She held your face in between her fingers "You should have stayed away you maid. Look where all these brought you. You should have just let me make him realise and regret for rejecting me and humiliating me in cold blood" she said

"Are you crazy? Holding on to a rejection which is literally centuries old?" You asked. "Who are you to judge my reasons?!" She growled. "And yes Yoongi never humiliated you, it was all you for jumping at him." You said. You felt a sting on your face, and your head tilting in response. The cheek stung so bad, you wanted to pull the bitch's hair out but your hands were tied, literally. Your eyes sting with tears and at the corner of your eye you see a fleeting sense of guilt in Jimin's eyes, or maybe you imagined it.

Jihyo scoffed "You think Min Yoongi loves, YOU? No, he loves Y/n, his first and only love. He just sees a reflection of her in you. He doesn't love you. He feels responsible for you. He was the one who couldn't stop me after all, he's the one who couldn't save you, time and again" she said. "Now tell me little Y/n, do you know where the dagger is?".

You just shook your head, throat too parched to form words. And another sting, she planted another slap on your cheek, "Did you forget how I killed you in your last life? How I cut through your muscles and rendered your movement and slowly drained your life out? Tell me where the dagger is! I know he showed it to you in your past life. Think!" She glared at you and you saw her hazel eyes flash green, at this point you felt scared of what else she was capable of, but you have no idea what dagger she was talking about. Not like you would tell her even if you did. No matter what Yoongi told you or did to you, you would never betray him like that. You felt exhausted, you haven't had something to eat or drink and you also felt dizzy.

"Let her be! She's only human, she'll talk" Jihyo said and walked out, Jungkook and Jimin behind her as the latter shut the gate, taking one last glance at you. You shut your eyes.

You didn't know how long you were out, but your eyes fluttered open when you felt soft taps on your cheek. You were shocked to see Jimin who immediately shushed you by putting his finger on your lips. He brought a straw to your mouth and motioned you to drink. When he saw hesitation in your eyes, his heart clenched, but he told you "its water, just water, I promise". And you took a sip, it was like life came back to you.

"Jimin, why are you doing this?" You asked "I wont ask you to untie me or anything really. Just tell me why?" You asked.

"I want her to acknowledge me Y/n. Please tell me whatever you know about the dagger" he said caressing your cheek, you felt a strange comfort after his touch. "I am the most powerful creation of my mother and I want to make her proud. But, I would never let her hurt you. She promised me she won't kill you no matter what. Just tell us, or atleast tell me" he said.

"I. Don't. Know. Acknowledgment from your mother? By killing someone? By taking someone else's life? You do understand she wants to kill Yoongi for something he didn't even do centuries back!" You said trying to bring some sense unto him but it seemed like you were talking to a wall.

"Min Yoongi, will die. Whether you like it or not. I will prove my strength to mom and she'd love me. Even if you never speak to me after this. I am sorry Y/n, I am" he said and with that he left again. You tried to think what you could do, if you could move but to no avail, you were in this position since god knows when and where. Besides, Jungkook tied your legs too tight, they were numb.

[Warning: violence and mention of blood]

Suddenly you heard commotion, and Jungkook and Jihyo piled into the room followed by Jimin. Jihyo swiftly went behind you and grabbed you by your hair and pulled you up on your knees and pointed a dagger at your throat. "Looks like your king is here". Soon you saw the door burst open and a man flew in as Yoongi hit another with the hilt of his long sword.

"Unhand her now" Yoongi said, pointing his sword at Jihyo. "OH Yoongi, Yoongi, I don't think you're in a situation to bargain" Jihyo said. As she pressed a dagger to your throat, the coldness of the metal sending shivers down your spine. Memories of the past two times are fresh in your mind, "Do it" you said, "Just do it".

"What?" Even Jihyo was shocked. "I'm sick of you chasing me around through my lives like a rat. I don't care just let him go and do whatever the fuck you want" you said.

"SHUT UP!" Yoongi shouted. "I don't care what you think, you are getting out of here at whatever cost" he added. But, Jihyo pressed harder on your neck drawing a little blood. "NO" Yoongi shouted and tried to walk close but Jungkook stopped him.

"Fine then, lets have a deal" Jimin spoke out.

"What? You traitor?" Yoongi taunted him. "tsk. We'll let her go if you hand over the dagger and let our Jungkookie tie you up" Jimin said and you instantly shouted "No!" You said and tried to free yourself, but Jihyo tightens the hold of the dagger on your throat.

"Fine. Let her go" Yoongi said. "No! Yoongi!" You said. "Y/n, live. Live your life fully, for once" he said as he dropped his sword and kneeled down and pulled out that dagger the one with an ivory handle, that cursed and killed you in your first life. So this was the dagger that Jihyo has been asking you, even in your previous life. "Yoongi!" You shouted to knock some sense into him. "Dont worry, it's not like I can get hurt" he assured you with his gummy smile as he let Jungkook tie him. But something told you there was a catch. No way things would be this simple.

"Fool" Jihyo said and dropped you to the ground, thank god your hands were tied in front of you or you would have face planted. "You know Yoongi" Jihyo said picking up the dagger "This dagger, holds the key to your life and mine. The moment I tried to kill YOU and Y/n your ONE TRUE LOVE jumped in the middle of all that. This can kill you, I first thought of killing her and leaving you just like that, as fun as that would be it would be an eye sore, I'd rather kill you first then torment her for the rest of her life." She said with a glare

"Oh you're a petty bitch" you finally spat "And you are the pettiest there are. You think you'll win this? There's no winning here, you're just a loser bitch who can't take rejection and use daddy's powers as a rebound for the lack of a shitty personality and soul" everyone went silent, even Yoongi who has only ever seen you be sweet to everyone all your lives but everyone has a breaking point. Jihyo walked over to you and you felt a worse sting, "AHHH" you screamed.

"Mom!" even Jimin screamed. "DON'T TOUCH HER, do whatever you want but let her go" Yoongi said.

"You know Yoongi, there was once when I would have done anything to hear those words. But, now I am happy too, cause anything means this" she said and she took the dagger and stabbed Yoongi's shoulder. Yoongi's eyes went wide but his mouth remained shut. "Nooooo! Noooo! Yoongi! You're bleeding! Oh my god" you shouted. "Y/n! Shhhh! (Y/n) shhhhh. It's okay, close your eyes" he tries to calm you, even in this situation. A sinister laugh was heard from Jihyo as she pulled the knife out, causing more blood to spill. Your eyes stung with tears as more spill out. You tried to crawl to him but felt someone hold you. "Don't" Jimin said. "Let me go! You traitor! I trusted you with my life! I loved you! You were the closest one to me after my parents and THIS is what you do! Let me go!" You said and broke down. "Any last words?" Jihyo asked. "Let her live" he said looking at her and then looked at you and said "Live on and be good" he said and closed his eyes and a hand closed yours. And then you felt the ties of your hands and feet lose. You opened your eyes to see more blood on Yoongi and the dagger. She stabbed him in the stomach.

No sound escaped you only tears. "Y-y-yoongi! N-n-no!" You said and held his trembling hands. "Y/n, just this once, let me die for you. I won't have to see you die anymore. Live happily and grow old for once, for me. I love you (y/n), so so much. I'm sorry I kept pushing you away." Even Jimin and Jungkook who were now beside him were silent. They would lie to say they didn't feel bad but Jihyo would kill Jungkook if he didn't comply and Jimin thought this would finally make his mother happy. You pressed your lips to his both trembling and you kissed his cheek. How are you supposed to let go? You just found him, you sobbed holding his hand tighter. Yoongi didn't know how to calm you he just felt this sting and warmth in his belly. His eyes were droopy, he was barely conscious "It feels good to finally bleed, I would have never made it without you. I love you, my love" he said and his eyes closed.

"Aww. So sad. Dont cry (y/n) cause soon you'll join him" Jihyo said and you closed your eyes, you'll join him, it'll be over, finally. "No mom! You promised it will be over if Yoongi dies!" Jimin said. "It will be when so does she" Jihyo said laughing again. She took a step towards you but Jimin rushed in front of you and shielded you "You promised!" He said.

"Jimin move!" She warned, your eyes went wide at Jimin's actions, what does he want to prove by guarding you now?! You thought. "No mom" he shouted, even Jungkook was confused as to what he should do standing silently as the scene unfolds. "Then I'll kill you with her" she said and hauled the knife ar him but your body reacted and you caught it before it could touch him. "Y/n! Let that blade go, it can harm you" he said. "Let the dagger go" Jihyo said through gritted teeth and Jimin too tried to pull it and suddenly a piercing scream was heard and there stood Jungkook, your and Jimin's hand free of the dagger which is now in Jungkook's hand pierced into Jihyo. She screamed again as Jungkook left the hilt of the dagger. "WHAT DID YOU DO YOU RAT?!" she shouted but her voice came out broken , her hair was turning white and her skin started to wrinkle "I think the age and deeds are finally catching up to her" Jimin said "We have to hurry" he suddenly said. "What?" You and Jungkook asked at once "Yoongi, is still alive, the nearest hospital is 30 mins towards the next town, he'll make it, I'll hold off the blood flow" he said, as in walked Taehyung. "Y/n?!" Yoongi hyung!" He shouted.

"Tae! we don't have time we need to rush him to the hospital!" You said and Taehyung immediately as Jihyo's wales were now whimpers. "Please bury her in the estate" Jimin said and Jungkook picked Yoongi's body as the three of you walked off.

_____________________________________

When his eyes opened, the first thing he saw was you sleeping while holding his hands. He checked him self and his stomach and shoulder, what's going on? He thought and his movements shook you up. "YOONGI!" you stood up and hugged him. He felt at home right there.

"What's happening?" He asked "How long was I out?" He asked.

"It's been 3 days, you lost a lot of blood. You, we, broke the curse, you sacrificed yourself for me, that's the greatest act of love. Jimin said that the place where the curse took place was the place where it could be broken and that's why we failed in our previous life". "What do you mean Jimin said? Why would that traitor say that?" He asked. "My love there's a lot that happened but lets keep it for later" you said. He nodded and suddenly pulled you into him, holding you in place, taking your lips into his, as he sucked on it. He missed you god knows that, he wanted to do this the moment he laid his eyes on you but back then he thought he could stay away from you but keep an eye on you to keep you out of trouble. But, now, you were his and he was yours finally he thought, pulling you closer to him leaving no space. He would never let you go.

_____________________________________

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sadisticsongbird · 1 year

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home sick ~ tom holland

summary: requested by anonymous - "a Peter Parker fic where he takes care of reader from sickness or injury is up to you. I don’t know if you’ve ever written one before or if you like the idea but i love a mob!tom fic it’s always 🤩 so there's that"

warnings: nothing but plain ol' fluff

word count: 1.3k

You had been tossing and turning all night, your head driving you insane. Headaches have been a constant part of your life, and even though most of the time, you can tough through them, sometimes they’re too much. You can’t open your eyes, afraid that the light is gonna be too much. Forget walking around or even sitting up. The world is spinning too much to let you see straight before you're laying down right where you started. You can’t even eat anything, too nauseous to swallow. Those days when you have a headache and are home alone are the worst. Tom’s job, for the most part, doesn’t allow him to work from home. He used to have his men here all the time before he asked you to move in with him. His perspective completely changed afterwards. It was too dangerous to him for anyone to know you existed, except for his family. But you craved those days when he was able to be home, when all he had to do was work through deals. He was able to eat breakfast with you, cuddle while you read in the afternoon, and shower you with kisses while you prepped dinner. Now he was almost never in bed with you at the same time. The only time you conversated with one another was on the rare day he had off or on the phone in the afternoon.

When Tom got home last night, he noticed the bottle of pills on the counter in the bathroom. He knew that you probably weren’t feeling good and decided to not wake you up, to let you sleep it off. But even after freshening up and joining you in bed, you still were rolling around, quiet whines escaping you every few minutes. It got so bad at one point that Tom was ready to go sleep on the couch. But he just couldn’t leave you. So he got up and walked to the bathroom to grab a rag. He ran it under cold water and squeezed it out until it was slightly damp. Your cries could be heard all the way from the other room and it only made him want to move faster to hold you. He moved back toward your side of the bed and your features were all scrunched up, your lips quivering. He brushed a couple strands of your hair behind your ear that were damp with sweat and placed the cloth on your head. You sucked in a shallow breath when it made contact with your skin, but you didn’t awaken. Tom’s hand found your hair and continued brushing it away from your forehead. Miraculously, you stopped moving and slept soundly for a few minutes. He waited a while to make sure that you would be okay on your own for a moment before he got up to go to the kitchen.

His feet trekked along the cold wood floor. He was super tired. He had so many issues at one of his lead warehouses today and men who didn’t want to listen to orders. Tom hated it when he had to get his hands dirty, but sometimes it was inevitable as the boss. It scared you at first when he would show up with bruises on his knuckles and bloody cuffs. You knew what he did for a living, but it didn’t make you any less worried. After fights, most of his nights resulted in crashing right away, and as much as he wanted to fall asleep right now, he wanted to make sure you were okay.

He opened the cupboard in front of him and grabbed a small glass on the bottom shelf. He filled it with water before heading back to the bedroom. He couldn’t hear you in the hallway and hoped that you were continuing to lay still. Your resting body had all of the sheets sprawled across your figure when he opened the door again. Tom grabbed the pillow from his side of the bed and brought it over to the floor on your side. He let it fall on the floor while setting the glass of water down on the nightstand next to your lamp and book. Before laying down himself, he went back to the bathroom and took a few more pills for you to take when you woke up. On his way back, he grabbed a small blanket that was lying on a chair in the corner of the room. It was cold in your room, but he would shiver if it meant that you could feel better. He sat on the ground and laid the medicine next to the water glass. It was rough, but he leaned against the stand. He bent the pillow so it was slightly under him and behind him. He took the blanket and spread it across his lap, warming up his feet. His hand found its way to your knee. You were on your side now, would be looking directly at him if you were awake. Tom rubbed up and down your leg before getting comfortable enough to lay his head against the edge of the mattress. He’d have to replace the cloth on your head in a little bit, but for now he could relax.

You had no idea what time it was, but when you opened your eyes, the sun made your head pound more. There was a wet rag on your forehead, warm and it almost stuck to your skin. The bed next to you was empty and it made you feel even more miserable, but when you swung around to look at the clock, seeing your boyfriend lying against the bed made you want to tear up. The clock read 9:14, making you even more surprised that he was still here. He normally was gone before you woke up at 8 on a regular morning and you knew it wasn’t a day for him to stay home. You felt bad, noticing that your entire body had taken up the bed and now he was on the floor. His head was barely on the edge of the bed and his back was arched uncomfortably against the night stand. Your hand made its way to his hair and your fingers danced around his curls, concentrating on him instead of the pain.

Tom felt the small pulls on his scalp and turned his head to face you.

“Good morning…”

He let out a sigh. “Morning, love.” How you loved his morning voice. “Why are you still here?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I wasn’t gonna leave you feeling sick. I love you too much for that…” he chuckled.

“But now I feel bad. You’re missing stuff for work.”

“You’re more important than my work.” He leaned up to give you a kiss and you gladly met him in the middle.

You missed this, being home with Tom, getting special moments like this. While it happened under bad and slightly painful circumstances, you were thankful that he was here.

You pulled away from the kiss, smiling. “Can I join you in bed?” he asked. “This floor is getting uncomfy.”

You looked into his eyes, seeing the desperation to lay somewhere more relaxing. “As soon as you brush your teeth,” you muttered before turning over to face away from him.

He stood up with a feigned gasp. You felt a pillow lightly hit you on the side, giggling to yourself. You didn’t know how long Tom was going to be home for, but you were going to cherish every minute of it.

#mob!tom holland x reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fluff #requestsforyou

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bloodyknucklesforme · 1 year

Text

Don't Blame Me | John 'Soap' Mactavish x F!OC

Chapter 17: Out of the Woods

Ao3 | Masterpost

John wakes up in the hospital alone

General Tags: Fake Marriage, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Slow Build, Canon-Typical Violence

Words: 1.8k

The nightmares don’t stop. They just change. He wasn’t crawling around the streets of Las Almas, he was in the snow crawling towards the cabin. He’d find Nina there. Stabbed, shot, or strangled. It changed every time but she was always dead. He’d crawl across the floor till he could just reach her and then a boot would pin his hand to the floor. He’d wake up in a cold sweat still in the hospital. It’d been 3 days

He needed the rest the doctors and nurses insisted. He couldn’t sleep not knowing how she was.

Price said he would update him as soon as he could. Last night she was still unconscious. Gaz was keeping him company but John couldn’t keep up with their usual banter; his vocal cords were damaged and he couldn’t think of anything but her. It quickly devolved from Gaz trying to cheer him up to the two of them sitting in silence while John toyed with the ring on his finger.

He’d climbed out of bed twice since waking up that morning. The first time he used the crutches left for him. They took those away, so he crawled down the hall to her on his stomach. Ghost and Gaz carried him back before he reached the door.

He argued that he was okay and could walk around but the crawling incident split 3 stitches on his leg.

“There’s nothing you can do to help her right now,” Price had said.

Her injuries had been severe. Laceration on her hand, superficial frostbite on her feet, hypothermia, internal bleeding in her abdomen, and broken ribs from Ghost’s CPR. She needed multiple blood transfusions. They were worried about infections and burst capillaries in her lungs and a bunch of other words John only knew as negatives.

He’d joined the military at 16 to help people and he’d done that. He’d killed terrorists, infiltrated a cartel compound, and stopped a missile from hitting D.C. yet he couldn’t protect Nina.

He failed her.

The guilt had molded over him during the past couple of days. He just wanted to apologize to her. Beg her for forgiveness. He’d get on his knees if he could.

That night went on constant repeat in his head. His blood had run cold when Ghost carried her in. She was covered in blood and shivering horribly. It took Gaz and Ghost both to hold him down once he saw her stomach. He should have acted faster. He should have ripped Marcus apart at the first kick. It was his fault.

His fault. His fault. His. Fault.

Gaz had to climb on top of him when Ghost started CPR. She looked so small underneath him. Price was trying to get her body temp up. She was a ragdoll under them. She didn’t even react when Ghost broke her ribs. He pushed down and the crack echoed through the room. John felt as if his own chest was caving in.

She was going to die and he couldn’t do anything. He was going to watch her die and he couldn’t even hold her hand. He couldn’t whisper in her ear or kiss her hair. She was going to die cold.

He was told he begged. Gave Gaz a run for his money as he dragged them both across the floor. At the moment it felt like if he could just touch her, she’d be okay. His touch would fix everything.

She was evacuated first. They were able to stabilize her and get her heartbeat back up. He watched her get carried off on a stretcher. It was only three days ago but it felt like an eternity.

He grown so used to nightmares that it blended with real horror. He was supposed to wake up on Christmas morning with her wrapped around him. He was almost surprised to wake up alone in the hospital bed. He was told she was still asleep.

Price said they could talk when she was up and ready.

Now he waited in his own hospital room, knowing she was just down the hall. Ghost was guarding the door. He should be there instead. Laswell was on her way up to clean the whole mess up. He wanted to help. He just bit his nails instead, counting the dots on the ceiling.

Price knocked as he walked in. He looked more tired than usual. He pulled out his wallet and handed several bills to Gaz.

“Get us a coffee won’t ya? Black, largest size. Thanks.” He took Gaz’s seat and pulled the chair over to the bed as they were left alone. “She’s awake.”

Price put out his hand to stop John as he started to swing his good leg out of bed.

“Hold on, son. She’s barely lucid. They have her on so many meds she can’t even blink properly.” He chuckled. “She’ll be okay though… She did ask about you.”

“She did?” He smiled for the first time since arriving at the hospital.

“She asked if you were okay.” John clenched his fists. His face went hot.

After everything that happened, she was worried about him. He’d been plagued with thoughts about how she wouldn’t want to see him again. How upset she’d be over his broken promise. Yet she asked about him.

“It was the first thing she said. She looked at me and asked where you were. ” Price said. “Honestly. she’s the only thing that’s kept me from punching you.”

“Sir?” John looked at his Captain confused. Price reached into his back pocket and threw the box of condoms on the bed.

“One rule, MacTavish. I gave you one rule.” He was stern but a smile was tugging on his lips like a father who had to act angry for appearance's sake.

“In my defense, she stole them.” Price raised an eyebrow

“I’m going to have to verify that with her.” Price said, unconvinced. “And the lovebites?”

“That was me. I will admit that.” John said, sucking on his teeth. “She had a great time, in my defense.”

“I’m sure…Listen, Soap. I don’t know a lot about your personal life but she has been through so much and I don’t want to see her hurt. If you are-”

“I’d rather die.” John interrupted. “I’d rather die than hurt her, Sir.”

Price looked taken aback. He shifted in his chair and ran a hand over his beard.

“Soap, I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” He wrung his hands together, looking at the ring again. “I don’t know what I would have done if she died…there were moments where I thought we were both going to die and all I could think about was ‘I hope I can hold her so she’s not alone’.”

Price looked at him sadly, his hands gripping his knees.

“If you think it’s for the best, I’ll let her go.” John forced down the lump in his throat.

“You really care about her, MacTavish?” Price asked.

“More than just that, Sir.” He couldn’t deny the tears that were sitting on his bottom lashes. “If she’ll have me, I’ll never fucking let her go.”

John rarely cried in front of others. A week ago he would have balked at the idea of even getting misty in front of the Captain. The guilt bubbled over into tears. If she’ll have him, he would give her everything. Anything. All of it. He’d long stopped believing in a higher power but if there was one they’d look like her.

Price nodded in understanding.

“She needs to eat and let the drugs wear off a bit. You can see her tomorrow.” Price stood and squeezed his shoulder. “She is going to have to stay here in Canada for a couple more weeks. Can’t fly in her condition. No, don’t ask. I’m staying with her. Laswell is working on getting the paperwork sorted so she can come home. She’ll live with me until she’s settled.”

“I promised I wouldn’t leave her, Sir. I’m not going back without her.”

“I know it’s not what you want but she needs something to look forward to. She has physical therapy, regular therapy, years and years worth of checkups to get through…Where you the one who pierced her ears?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And the hair…?” Price motioned to his head. She’d done a decent job but it was significantly shorter.

“That was her.” Price nodded.

“It’ll be four to six weeks before she’s healed. Be there on the other side for her, yeah?” He clapped his shoulder. “You need time to heal too. I should be ordering you not to talk this much.”

“Sir, I-”

“No more talking, that’s an order.” Price smiled. He turned to the door. “You’ll see her tomorrow. Let her annoy Ghost for a little bit longer, okay?”

John opened his mouth but Price gave a warning look. He shut his mouth, nodded, and turned his head back to his lap.

Gaz eventually came back with food for both of them, not shite hospital food but Taco bell.

“Was told you can’t have solids cause your throat and this is basically a liquid.” He said, tossing a couple of burritos to him. “So you have a girlfriend now?”

John shrugged. He didn’t know honestly. Labels were not something he’d really considered. ‘Girlfriend’ seemed too civilian for her, too plain. Maybe it had just been a while since he’d actually had a girlfriend, the word felt foreign.

“Can she play Fifa?”

“Probably not.”

“Damn. Now I’m going to have to teach her.”

“You’re not teaching her anything.”

“Forgot, that’s your job,” He smiled cheekily. “Price found the condoms when we were getting your stuff.”

“He showed me,” John said, lifting up the box. Gaz burst into laughter.

“I thought he was gonna murder you.”

“Suprised he didn’t,” he said, swallowing down a chunk of meat and cheese. It still hurt to swallow but eating something with flavor instead of plain apple sauce made him euphoric. “Thank you for this.”

“No problem, mate.” He was grateful for Gaz’s presence, how positive he was and how willing he was already to accept Nina into their friendship.

They ate in silence for a bit. A nurse came in and scolded Gaz for bringing in the food.

“He’s a highly trained soldier, he can’t live off the gruel you have in the caf.”

“And Taco Bell isn’t gruel?” She asked. Gaz had no defense. “If your friend permanently damages his throat that’s his problem but please don’t encourage it.”

They both looked down.

“Just keep drinking water,” she sighed before leaving.

“How is your throat?” Gaz asked. There was deep bruising around John’s neck from the nylon.

“Hurts to talk. Hurts to swallow but I’m not dead.” He shrugged. “...Have you seen her?”

“No. I’ve been keeping you company. Ghost got Nina guard duty. Don’t know how happy he is about it considering she stabbed him but-”

“She stabbed Ghost?” John’s jaw dropped.

“Yeah. Said when he found her she freaked out and got him in the shoulder. Wasn’t deep but points to her for trying.”

John laughed. She was a fighter. He’d seen grown men cower when Ghost entered a room. He was even intimated by him at times. Nina had a knife and a will and stabbed his Lieutenant.

He was never going to let the man live that down.

Tag List: @yeyinde @queen-ilmaree @yearningforsappho @mykneeshurt @gogh-with-the-flow

LMK if you want to be added for this or any other fic 💗

#call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty mw2 #Don't Blame Me #john soap mactavish #John Soap mactavish x oc #call of duty modern warfare #john soap mactavish x oc #cod mw22 #cod mwii

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stansethandpaul · 3 years

Text

Jealousy Jealousy (rewrite)

Angst -> Fluff: Embry Call x GN!reader

Summary: Embry gives y/n a slap in the face about reality after they constantly sulk about Bella.

A/N: I'm much more content with this one and I actually might end up deleting the other one, sorry about that. I actually took a lot more time editing this and didn't write this when I was burnt out compared to the other one! I'm just overall way happier with the other one because I knew that the other one wasn't my true capability.

warnings: angst (that's all I could really think of tell me if you see anything else!)

Masterlist

Ding!

Constant notifications vibrated Jacob's phone as we sat on his couch together watching the movie on the screen. I shot him a look of annoyance, signaling him to check his phone which he did swiftly. His eyes shot open in surprise before he shot up from the couch and throwing on a shirt and shoes, hopping out the door as he attempted to put the last shoe on.

"Sorry y/n! Bella just told me she was free, you know what it's been like for her!" He hastily shouted out before sprinting down the gravel driveway.

"Bye!" I shouted back, trying to hide my disappointment.

I grimaced at the situation. On one hand, I knew how the sudden disappearance of the Cullens devastated her, especially Edward's sudden abandonment but this happened way too many times. But on the other, Jacob was like her puppy dog now, it was like I wasn't even his friend anymore, it was like our friendship meant nothing.

Knowing that Jacob wouldn't be back anytime soon, I got my stuff and locked the door behind me before driving over to Emily's place to surround myself in the livelier company.

"Sup y/n! Missed me didn't ya!" Jared boomed as I opened the door to which I replied with a "you wish". I chuckled at his dramatic pain as he pretended to hold his heart, eyes shut and face contorting.

"Know where Embry is?" Questioning the dramatic boy as I peered around the room to see if I could find any trace of the lanky boy, no luck.

"Finding your loverboy huh? With the deepest of regrets, I must inform you that he was put on patrol today." He said, mocking my curiosity over Embry's whereabouts. I stuck my tongue out at him to tease him before flipping him off and leaving to the porch to await Embry.

"Knock it off Paul, it's not what you think"

"yeah sure, and if it wasn't what I HEARD THROUGH THE MINDLINK then I don't know what else it could have been"

Their voices permeated through the thick fog as their silhouettes came into view, Paul's muscly tall physique was seen locking an arm around Embry's tall lanky but lean body.

"Aw buzz off Paul," Embry said as he struggled to get Paul's arm off of his neck. He laughed at his struggle before letting go as he noticed me, shooting Embry a smirk to which a slight blush came onto his face, only noticeable as they got closer. Odd.

"Sup Paul," I smirked at him before turning my attention over to Embry.

"And hello to you too wolf boy," teasing him to which he shot a glare at me before attempting to stifle his laughs.

Paul said a prompt bye before jogging into the house to fill up his appetite whilst Embry sat down next to me, his body warmth radiating. The cold air nipped at my skin, pushing me to get closer to the much warmer boy as I swung my legs into his lap and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Jacob left again?"

A sigh left my mouth at his obvious question.

Closing my eyes promptly, I answered with a short nod. A response that showed my true feelings after all these times of being blown off by Jacob.

We sat in silence, my eyes closed as I felt his shoulders move up and down in a rhythmic motion, lulling me to sleep almost. The deafening quiet seemed to almost suffocate us before I decided to talk.

"I don't know what to do anymore Embry, I'm always there for him when he needs me but, he runs to her at the drop of a hat or more like a single text message," I grumbled, reminiscing about the times Jacob's left me in the dust for Bella, excuses sprouting up.

"Why does everyone in this town seem to be so infatuated with her," expecting no response I kept going.

"Is it because she's Charlie's daughter? Hell if I was his child Jacob would be all over me too right? I'd be the hot topic of town too, people staring at me wherever I go, being suddenly accepted by the Cullen family and Jacob. I'd really have the best of both worlds wouldn't I?" Scowling at my own questions, I turned to Embry for answers.

"Am I not right?"

Silence.

"Helloooooooo, Earth to Embry?" I said, poking his cheeks with my finger. His brows seemed to be furrowed together, eyes lost in thought, his attention elsewhere.

There seemed to be no response from him to which I huffed and turned back to stare at the fog rolling in.

Closing my eyes to embrace the serenity once more, his lulling voice startled me.

“I don’t think it’s true.”

I turned my head towards him, curiosity piqued by his response.

“Let’s be real Embry, I’d have the best time of my life if I was Bella fucking Swan. Every guy would love me, all the attention would be on me and I wouldn’t be a second option again. Hell, I’d even be able to actually confess to my crush without fearing rejection.” Bitterness laced the last sentence as I satirically spoke my mind. Looking at Embry’s hands and wishing they were embracing mine, the sudden gesture of his fist clenching as his knuckles turned white shocked me, he was mad.

“God y/n, why the hell do you always need to compare yourself to Bella? She hasn’t even done anything to you. It’s always Bella this Bella that if I was her blah blah blah. Get over yourself, you’re not her and you won’t ever be. Learn how to appreciate yourself and live YOUR life and stop moping around. So what Jacob runs to Bella each time, you have Jared, Emily, Paul, and everyone else.”

A long silence suspended in the air.

“You have me and you come running, you never see the other people around you cause you’re too busy complaining. You can’t even see how much I love you cause you’re so stuck up about being Bella and being Jacob’s priority aren’t you?” Finishing his sentence, he proceeded to get up before walking away. Stopping before reaching the woods, his back faced to me, he spoke simply.

“Find me when you can learn to be y/n and not Bella.”

His form morphed before running into the woods on all fours, leaving me stunned. After a brief moment, tears flooded my eyes. I never got to tell him that I do like him, I never got to tell him that I just want his attention, I just wanted him.

Thoughts spiraled in my head, I was jealous of Bella for sure but I was jealous because of the attention she was given. I just wanted Embry to treat me like she was treated, I wanted to be special to him.

I ran home, I ran because I was scared. I was scared I wouldn't be able to look at him properly.

Weeks passed as we ceased to talk, and I ceased to exist in the small town of Forks. Or so I thought.

I groaned as heavy knocks assaulted my front door, I picked up the phone looking at the time. Who the hell shows up at someone's house at 4am?

Throwing on a sweater and sweats, I dragged myself to the front door, the cold hardwood floor seemingly repelling me from ever making any progress. I swung the door open, grumbling as my eyes were half open wondering who it was.

Jacob Black.

Mentally sighing, I invited him inside from the pouring rain, he seemed devastated.

He sat down after he changed as I made him some hot chocolate to comfort him.

"She chose him y/n, he came back and she chose him over me. She drove to Italy for that stupid bloodsucker." His cracking voice was more than enough for me to grasp his frustration and devastation.

"I dropped everything for her, I did everything for her y/n. And she still chose the guy that skipped town huh?" Laughing bitterly at the situation, I stared at his cup before handing it to him.

"Maybe if I was better than Edward I would've won this stupid fucking battle," his words escaping his clenched teeth. He was like me, we were jealous of someone, someone that seemed to win everything, someone that we were not. The words spoken to me by Embry were words I carried with me even as I was moping over the whole situation.

"Stop comparing yourself to him, Jacob. You're not Edward and you won't ever be him. You're so insistent on being better than Edward or being Edward that you can't even see what's in front of you. I was always here for you Jake, I was always here but you treated me like I was a second option. You left me in a heartbeat for her but you never had time to spend with me, not even five minutes, when you were with her," I too chuckled bitterly at the ironic situation, me and Jacob were similar in many ways.

"Learn to live your life, don't live it for her or because of her, learn how to live it like you want." Those words seemed to resonate deep within both of us. After finally speaking those words, I realized that I was ready to live my life as y/n, a citizen of the small city of Forks, and not vying to be Bella, the new girl to forks.

I stood up, putting on shoes hastily before grabbing the handle. I could sense Jacob's attempt to stop me and apologize for his treatment but I knew better.

"It's ok, I know you're gonna apologize. I'm not going to accept, I want the Jake that will care and treat everyone with the same importance that you had for Bella. Come to me when you're ready, but until then I hope you grow and learn how to live your life."

I paused again, one foot out of the door.

"I have someone important to apologize to, someone that didn't leave me in the blink of an eye."

I hurriedly shut the door behind me before running to the woods, my lungs burning and legs aching as I forced myself to my limit. I ran and ran, visions of the houses slowly turned to trees, the crunching leaves under my feet reminded me of the days we would all run through the woods.

My breathing became labored as I was reaching my breaking point but it was close, our place was close. Then, in my distant vision, I could see it. That one pine tree, seemingly normal to many, but to me, it held our memories. The initials only reassured my assumption as I knew that he would be here waiting. As I got closer to the tree, my legs gave out under me, sending me tumbling to the ground whilst tree branches scratched my arms and ripped a hole in my pants.

"EMBRY! EMBRY I'M HERE PLEASE!" I shouted into the dark forest, eyes tearing up once more as I pleaded.

"I LOVE YOU EMBRY CALL AND I'M SORRY I WAS TOO BLIND TO REALIZE IT!" I shouted once more before crumpling closer to the ground, my tears now fully flowing and hitting the dead leaves below.

Maybe I took too long, maybe he moved on, maybe I was too jealous of someone to even realize his love.

As sobs continued throughout my body, the hope of him ever coming was diminishing.

I was too late.

Suddenly, I felt a pair of strong but warm arms wrap around my waist and pulling me up.

"Shhh, it's ok I'm here now."

That voice, I looked up to see Embry's face which held a dorky grin. I threw my arms around him as sobs still left my body, the emotional rollercoaster was far too much for me to handle.

"I-i'm s-s-so sorry Embry, I was too focused on trying to be Bella that I-"

"I know, I know, I heard it all," shushing me as he rubbed circles on my back consoling me. After what felt like hours in his embrace, I finally calmed down and only tear stains remained.

I finally lifted my head to meet his eyes properly this time, he stared back with tender eyes.

"You finally learned how to live for you huh?" He asked, not expecting an answer to which I was oblivious.

Before I could respond, he pressed his lips to mine. I didn't try and fight it and melted into it instead.

I was blind to be jealous of Bella when I already had something that she fought to keep.

Smiling mentally, I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.

Taglist: @krispypotato @therandomficwriter @crackheadenergy101 @cole22ann @uraveragegorewhore @xxx-wounded-angel-xxx @theonlyabby02 @lendeluxe @sassybadqueen @myflicker @junitorials13 @leahishotclearwater @pillowjj @mangobubblet3a @fuzzy-panda @beautiful-1nsanity @asprinkleoffaithandtrust @remembered-license @gutflorizt @sassybadqueen @britty443 @tsukkiswifeey @uraveragegorewhore @blackqueens01 @asprinkleoffaithandtrust @remembered-license @alwayshave-faith @nichia88-blog

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modx-reborn · 3 years

Text

It’s All Too Loud

Yall want Roomates? A needy botom Simpbur? With some some nasty names called at the rat man?

Well…Here you go, it’s like almost 2k words or so of just using simpbur for your own entertainment.

SMUT UNDERCUT! MINORS DNI

For the second night this week, your flatmate Wilbur was making a racket, his music audible through not one but two walls and into your room. Lord knows what the other apartment on the other side of his wall thought of us but enough was enough.

No matter how flattering he was earlier today, it’s ten P.M and after all the shit that had happened, you just wanted some silence and to be able to sleep.

Not bothering with fully redressing after getting ready for bed, you are storming across the lounge you share with your now annoying flatmate, the rap of your knuckles lost to the music is followed by several slaps of your palm against his door to little success.

With a scrunched face and anger now rivalling a lit stick of TNT, shouldering his door open to start what would have been a one-sided yelling match, your anger is quick to fizzle out at the sight of Wilbur.

Stretched out across his bed, face buried in what looks to be one of your gym shirts that went missing like two days ago. One of his hands fisting himself, clearly chasing his own end, unaware of your presence in his room, or it looked like it till you flick your eyes up to find him watching you stand in his doorway.

Your name a chant on his lips, nose still buried in that shirt, is how he cum’s. A mess painting his hand and the half pushed up shirt he wore, the red that colours his face either from the shame of getting caught or from the enjoyment of having you watch him jack off.

You’re quick to snatch the remote for his sound system, pressing the off button and plunging the room into silence.

“What the actual fuck Wilbur. I-Is that…Did you steal my fucking gym clothes?”

Flicking your eyes around his room your quick to catch sight of other items that had once been yours, a hairbrush that you thought broke, a pair of underwear that had one too many holes in it, and two items that were more personal in nature. A bottle of scented lube that you had only half used, and a small bullet vibe that was a gag gift from another friend of yours.

“Wilbur. You have like, ten seconds to explain, or I am going to throttle you.”

Looking over at the brunette paints a desperate picture, he sits upon his knees, your shirt lays on his lap, hands half reached out towards you, ignorant of the one still coated in his cum, cheeks still painted pink with tears gathering in his eyes.

“P-Please it’s just. Your so good to me, so nice. An-and you smell so good, that I know y-you would never go for someone like me. But-” when his hands reach out the grasp your arm, the feeling of his warm skin and now half-dried cum against your skin pulls a shiver from you, “-please, please don’t leave me. I’ll. I’ll keep out of your way, won’t touch any of your things ever again. Just please, don’t leave me.”

The sight of someone like Wilbur, who tends to paint the picture of reserved confidence, begging you not to leave him, tears falling down his cheeks, skin still flushed pink as he sniffles softly. It’s something that hits a certain spot for you, forgiving him would take time and him actually keeping his word to not touch or take your things anymore, but for now, it had been some time since you had any kind of fun that wasn’t just you and your hands in the dark.

“Okay, I won’t go-”

“Thank you!” he is quick to lean further into your space, his grip on your arm pulling you slightly as he does.

“But! We do have to talk about how even when you got caught, you just kept Shlicking it like some needy little slut.” Your unoccupied hand lifts his chin, thumb just barely brushing against his bottom lip, “Well? Got any declarations? Or explanations for that Wilbur? Hmm.” You can feel more than hear the whine he makes, his grip tightening on your arm once again.

“N-no, just t-that. You were there and watching m-me,” the way he presses into your hand is desperate like you’ll pull back and shake off his hands, and just disappear into thin air.

Shaking off his hands you’re quick to snatch the soiled gym shirt from his lap, tossing it to the other side of his bed, revealing that Wilbur hadn’t tucked himself away or adjusted himself in any way. In fact at some point during his begging or the period of your processing of his words he had gotten hard once again.

“Really? Are you that fucking obsessed with me, that even if you just came, a few touches and a little name-calling has you hard again?” It’s easy to push him back onto his bed, one hand keeping him pinned to the mattress as the other slides across his hips, deliberately avoiding touching his member.

Whatever he said in response is mumbled under his breath, half lost in the whine that leaves his mouth.

Your fingers tugging his pants further down exposing more of his pale skin, “Your gonna need to speak up Wil, or I’ll just leave you here with your hand and my old shirt.”

“Y-yes, yes I am. Please. Please Don’t stop.”

Yanking his shirt over his head is easy, as is getting him to shuffle out of his jeans. It’s grabbing his thighs and moving him into the middle of his bed that signals the start of your fun but not before grabbing two of his stolen items and placing them beside you. Your grip on his thighs makes it easy to pull him into your lap, legs pressed open as you push against his knees exposing everything to your view.

“God, look at you barely even touched you and your leaking all over yourself,” dragging one of your fingers down his cock makes him twitch, the small patch of pre-cum that had grown on his stomach now spread further across his skin. Whatever words he may have wanted to say are lost at the cold feeling of you drizzling lube across him, “Aww was that a little cold for you? Don’t worry, I will make it worthwhile.”

It’s easy to smear the lube across his cock, making the wet sound your hand makes as it strokes across his heated flesh so loud against the strings of whines and moans pouring from the man under you. The hand that isn’t occupied with him is quick to grab the discarded shirt from earlier and the small bullet that you had placed aside.

The way Wilbur cries when you let go of his member in favour of flipping him over is quickly muffled, the shirt he had previously buried his face in shoved where his head now lay, “If you love the smell of my old sweat so much, you can keep it there till I’m done with you,” more lube is poured on his now exposed hole, bringing another full-body shiver from the man below you.

With a press of a button, the small toy buzzes to life, the lowest possible setting now pressed to the base of his dick as your fingers trace around his entrance, pressing on occasion against the puckered skin, teasing him with the feeling of you pressing into him. The moan that sounds from him when you finally do let one of your fingers begin to sink into him, brings a sharp smile to your face.

“Please. Please. Please, don’t stop, please just. Please,” His head is only tilted to the side to beg, nose still buried in the shirt that you had placed under his face. His begging is a constant stream of babble that ends with a chant of your name and please, which is rewarded with another finger slipping into him alongside the first working to stretch him open.

“So fucking needy. You’d take anything I could give you right now, just take, take, take. Like the good little slut you are,” turning off the vibe so your hand can hold his hips still, leaving his member to hang useless between his legs, twitching with need as your fingers work in and out of him, occasionally brushing against his prostate making him let out one long whine.

Pulling your fingers from him, has him begging all over again. Only when you press back in it’s with the toy ready to be pressed against his prostate, watching how he shakes when you flick it back on to the lowest setting is magnificent, what little of his face can be seen under his messy curls is an open mouth drooling, mouthing words that are lost in a choked moan when you increase the intensity of the toy in him.

Tangling your other hand in his hair to pull him back onto all fours, sounds no longer muffled and echoing through his room when you return your hand to his cock fisting it to the same speed he had been when you first walked in and caught him in the act. His hips rocking back into the action chasing what sounds to be one hell of an orgasm, only as his moans begin to rise in pitch and the throbbing dick in your hand begins to twitch more often do you stop.

“Oh no. You don’t get to finish so quickly, if you want it you’re going to have to do it yourself,” your fingers and the toy pulled from his now fluttering hole, vibe cast somewhere on his bed to be collected and seen to later, both your hands pull him up and back into your lap. Your lips press to sweat-slicked skin as he leans into your chest, his hands tremble as one wraps around himself, the other reaching back to brace against the bed.

When your lips press to his neck, leaving marks is a benefit but the action is done to watch as Wilbur desperately chases after the feeling that you had been building in him, only as he arches into what feels like the end a broken moan falls from his lips.

“I can’t. I can’t, please. Please…” The way his hands fall away from his lap is pathetic, but the way he begs is musical.

“Only cause you asked so nicely.”

Your lips on his neck are teeth and tongue painting him in spots of colour to bloom later, as one hand return to jerking him off with the intent of making a further mess of the man in your lap, the other hand pressing his hips down into your lap keeping him from doing nothing more than arch away from you as he cums.

The way he whines as you keep stroking him through it all is so broken, his hands quick to stop your movements as he pants, his cum splattered against your hand and his thighs. Wilburs head remains hung as he breaths through the aftershocks, only watching through his eyelashes as you bring your hand up and clean the mess he made of your hand with your mouth.

“Next time you want to be a horny little creep, come find me. I’ll give you all this and more-” your hands once rough in action now pulling him down on his bed, cradling him against your chest, “ And isn’t it so much better than your hand and some old shirt?”

His nod is slow, energy drained from him as he drifts off, at least now you know that there will no longer be nights of sexual frustration or general frustration over too loud music in the apartment again.

God, you wonder what the neighbours must think of you now, from loud music to the loud begging of the dosing man in your arms.

This will likely be far from the last time the two of you are way too loud.

#c: simpbur #k: degradation #k: dacryphilia #k: teasing #k: begging #k: dumbification #possessive behavior #mxad #dsmp smut

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levixreader · 3 years

Text

Dad!Levi x Mum!Reader - It's Just a Hobby

Charlotte: French name meaning freedom Summary: You woke up alarmed at the metallic shriek echoing in your room. Your angry husband sat a the far end of the room... sharpening his blades?... at three in the morning? Oh God, what did Charlotte do this time.

Warning: Pure fluffiness, Levi deserves happiness ;v;

Inspired by @cakeswashere prompt:

Y/N: are you angry? or...

Levi: no.

Y/N: so sharpening your blades at 3am is just a hobby then?

Daughter of Mine(Chapter I)| Master List|Requests| Next Chapter

It's Just a Hobby

Sheeeeeeek

It was a sharp, almost metallic in nature shriek. You tossed in your sleep, your brain still half unconscious.

Had you imagined it?

It sounded familiar. Where you having another dream of your time at the Corps?

All this talk about Charlotte joining the military was definitely not doing you any favours. It was scratching at the back of your head the obscure memories you kept hidden away. Ever since you had pushed Levi into taking her to work, every night, without fail, the deformed hands of your demons came to grab you at night.

Yesterday Levi had shaken you awake. You were sweating in your sleep, haunted by the last expression of your friends, of your family. Some nights, your dreams were so vivid that you were convinced that the life you had now was… imagined.

How had Charlotte convinced you that it was a good idea to join? Ah, yes, her unwavering spirit. Stubborn and passionate to the core, just like her father. Erwin had earned Levi and his constant devotion to the cause had earned Charlotte.

Truly, she had worn you down. She would talk as if she had been in the military for as long as she was alive. She had convinced every single one of her friends to join. Of course, she had worn you down. Children, you had discovered, had a way to make you feel like you could endure anything as long as it made them happy. Even if that meant spinning directly into a titan’s jaws. You shivered. Tonight, marked the beginning of winter and with it the fast approach of harsh months.

How could you selfishly stand in her way? She was the carbon copy of your husband, down to his unhuman like traits. She was fast and strong, but that didn’t make her cocky, it made her aware of just how far she could go. So when she had implored you to let her join the military… You caved because you knew your daughter, nothing you could say, not even the hellish nightmares you conjured now, would deter her from joining.

Levi could though. You didn’t have the heart or the will power to stand against her, she was, after all, a force of nature like Levi. So, it made sense that he could and did stand against her. So firmly opposed that he would rather sacrifice his relationship with her than watch her wear forest green.

I would never want to feel responsible if something were to happen to you.

His words had rung deep within you. Levi was strong, the strongest in fact. He had carried with his best friend’s death, carried the guilt of every death, carried the title of strongest, but, he could never carry the responsibility of the death of his only child.

Your heart ached. For months now, you had tried to convince yourself that you already waited with your heart of your throat every time Levi sat you down at the kitchen table to tell you there would be a new excursion. You could do the same with Charlotte. Right?

It was different. You knew it was different. You were all too aware of it. So, you settled. Settled to be thankful that where you lack the willpower, Levi could. Maybe, you had thought, that having her shadow Levi for a couple of days would show her a glimpse into a world she could never have thought of. You hadn’t. Not even Levi, who lived in the underground, had.

Sheeeeeek

You shot up. Straight up.

That had been the sound of a knife getting sharpened.

In a panic, your eyes scanned the room, your hand already reaching for your bedside table, inching into the drawer on the hidden weapon inside. You could feel your heart lodged in your trachea. All you could think was of your daughter and how to get to her as quick as possible. But, then, your eyes landed at the corner at the far back. It was Levi, seated in the leather chair he liked so much.

Relief, ice-cold relief washed over your stiffened body. Instantly, you relaxed at the sight of the familiar presence. Your heart unable to dislodge from your throat, the exhaustion weighing down at your body once again.

What the hell was he doing?

Shreeeeeeek

You felt a new wave of alertness wash over you. Something glimmered, you squinted, your tiered eyes fell to his lap.

There was a blade.

Shreeeeeeek

He was sharpening his blades.

He was sharpening his blades at three in the morning.

Oh, God.

Shreeeeeeek

Cried the sound of metal. He was hunched in the chair, hadn’t bothered taking off his uniform, or boots for that matter. His right leg on top of his left thigh. One of his blades rested across his lap. You sat there watching as he expertly manoeuvred the blade making it glimmer even in the darkest of nights.

Something was bothering him.

You sighed, the adrenalin leaving your body. It had been a minute since you last felt it course through your body like earlier. You had genuinely thought that there had been an intruder in the house. You were a light sleeper, years retired from the military could never kill that habit. It had saved you more than once.

You wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep until you untangled whatever Levi’s brain was scrambling. It was Charlotte, you were sure of it. After the little incident at the beginning of the week, she had somehow squeezed a promise to not react like he did that day. How she did it you would never know. It took years -years- to get him to not impulsively confront any man that would even slightly look at you the wrong way. You were certain that something must have happened again and the frustration of being powerless had him sitting, sharpening his disposable blades at such an ungodly hour.

This was it. The time had come to have “The Talk” with Levi. You had been preparing for this ever since Charlotte turned sixteen. You had already noticed the attention she garnered whenever she accompanied you to the market. How some of her oldest male friends would stare a second too long. It was bound to happen eventually. You had prepared for it, Levi… not so much.

“Morning”, you said the bedsheets still pooled at your waist. Even with the window closed, you could feel the cold air prickling your skin, like small needles. He frowned, not really expecting you to wake up. He had already spent an hour on his other blades, this was his last one. “How was work today?”, you insisted. He grunted. He at least acknowledged you. He wasn’t feeling all that talkative at the moment.

Shreeeeeek

The sound of the metal echoing across the room. This man was impossible. Like father, like daughter, two stubborn mules unwilling to bend or move in their convictions. You were convinced that when God created stubbornness, Levi was first in line, closely followed by Charlotte.

“Somethings never change”, you thought shaking you head slightly. Unceremoniously, you yanked the sheets from your lower body. You shivered, the cold air now attacking your legs. Levi’s face remained turned down, his eyes, however, sneaked a peek at you. He had heard you move. You were, to his dismay, heading towards his direction. He noticed the hair of your forearms standing to attention. You were cold. He clicked his tongue; he wasn’t ready to go to bed, anger still bubbling at his feet. He frowned, returning his attention at the weapon in his hand.

Shreeeeeeek

“Are are you angry?”, he heard you ask softly. No answer. You grouched in front of his legs so that your face was in his direct eyesight. He gripped the handle of the blade, his eyes moving to observe the end of it. He was avoiding you. “no.”, he curtly answered. He looked stoic. “Stubborn, stubborn man”, you thought. You placed a numbed hand on his twisted knee. His eyebrows knitted together refusing to look at you, opting to look at your hand. You looked paler than usual.

Did she have another nightmare?

You smiled amused, “So sharpening your blades at three in the morning is just a hobby then?”, you asked sarcastically. His frown deepened, he didn’t answer. “Tell me what’s bothering you”, you pushed, the tips of your fingers going a bit numb. He sighed knowing you weren’t going to let this go and if needed would freeze half to death until he talked. “And you think Charlotte is stubborn because of me”, he thought. Charlotte, he frowned again the anger bubbling up again.

“Is it Charlotte?”, you asked, even softer than before. You gripped his knee in reassurance. He sighed again, of course, you would know exactly what was bothering him. He couldn’t hide anymore. “I can’t believe she is sixteen”, you said truthfully.

Sixteen years went by like nothing, one day she was too small to even reach the kitchen counter and the next she had a queue of boys lined up. “Fucking hormonal teenagers”, he thought to himself glaring down at the polished blade. He wanted to break the thing in two.

“Our brat is an adult now”, you said giggling pulling him again out of his thoughts. His eyes lifted slightly to look at you, clearly disagreeing with your opinion. Charlotte wasn’t an adult; she was just a brattier brat. “Did one of the cadets flirt with her again?”, you asked smiling sympathetically. His eyes widened and immediately narrowed to the point you thought he had closed his eyes. His jaw clenched, his grip on the weapon made his knuckles turn white.

“A boy”, he corrected. You smiled sadly at his words. “You know she is at that age”, you said earning you a glare. “You know I’m right”, you insisted. He clicked his tongue. You were right. That doesn’t mean he had to voice it. “I know this is very hard for you”, you continued, he looked pained. It had taken everything in him today to not march and punch the titan shifter straight in the face. He knew the look he was giving Charlotte; it was the same look he had given you. He felt his chest burn.

His eyes looked pained, the cold controlled captain melting away. You wanted to hug him, console him and tell him that his baby was still just that: a baby. That Charlotte would not grow up and that she would always call him ‘Daddy’. But this would only hurt him more and would do Charlotte a disservice as her mother.

“Here”, you said standing up offering a hand for him to take. He looked at your hand, eyebrow cocked upwards with curiosity. You rolled your eyes, “Well, take it”, you insisted shaking your hand. Cautiously, he placed his free hand on yours. His eyes narrowing when he felt how cold your fingers felt. In a quick movement, he rested the sharpened blade against the nearest wall and grabbed with both his hands the hand you had offered. “You’re cold”, he commented, making you roll your eyes again at him. “Well hurry up then”, you answered pulling him up. He pouted, finally complying with your request.

You pulled him out of the room towards the hallway in front of Charlotte’s room. His frown returned, “What are we doing here”, he asked, not appreciating the surprise. “Shh”, you said tightening your hold on his hand. As carefully as you could you opened the door to your daughter’s room. She looked tranquil, completely at ease. “Look”, you whispered moving out of the way. Reluctantly, he peaked into Charlotte’s room. His eyes softened and his chest, previously burning with anger, filled with warmth. She looked like a child hugging her favourite stuffed animal. “She isn’t quite an adult yet”, you whispered, “not because some boy is flirting with her means she stopped growing”.

He sighed closing the door just as carefully as you had opened it.

“Let’s have another one”, he said turning to look at you straight to your eyes. “What?”, you said in complete shock. “Let’s have another one”, he repeated closing the gap between the both of you. “What?”, you repeated louder, his hands grabbing your hips. “I said”, he whispered pulling you towards him, “Let’s”, you heard him next to your ear, “have”, you felt his breath on your neck, his nose caressing the base of your neck, “another one”. His teeth dug into your soft skin.

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user21340 · 3 years

Text

my only exception

(i don’t own this gif or any of the characters in this fic)

summary: you and nat are separated when in the Red Room. you both are reunited. after holding onto a couple things to give her for a couple years you both realize love is well and alive.

warnings: violence, abuse, swearing, lil angst, fluff

pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader

word count: nearly 1.8k

a/n: omg i don’t know what to say! thank you for all the support on the stuff i’ve released so far. it’s super crazy seeing some of my favorite writers following me. thank you so so much for 30 followers! much love 💕💕

(italics in dialogue mean the person is speaking russian)

sorry for any mistakes i wrote this at 3am and have to get up for school at 6 😪 no bueno

It was a cold and stormy night as the power in the Red Room continuously flickered on and off even with the help of a high powered generator.

You and Natalia had been waiting for an event like this to occur so you could break out. Even though both herself and you lived only a small bit of life outside in the real world before you were taken in and trained to become a weapon, both of your humanly morals knew right from wrong. The Red Room’s treatment definitely being a wrong.

Madame B and the other monstrous staff at this facility put all you girls to bed roughly an hour ago. Nat and yourself undid your cuffs connecting your wrist to the metal bedframe so you could pack the few things you both owned before you made your escape. Both of you had talked this plan over through and through so you both were on the same page as soon as you saw that flicker of a power outage surge though the site.

At the moment you both were eighteen years old meaning both of you had proven yourselves worthy enough to hone a spot at this academy and had graduated a couple months prior.

GAME PLAN

Some information you had gathered which the staff weren’t aware of was every time the power flickered off, it disarmed and unlocked the exit door/s for nearly five seconds. The weather has been dry but cold lately not making this discovery too useful. The plan was to sneak over to uncuff yourselves in the middle of the night when these brief power outages were occurring, pack your items, and as you were about to escape bang on the wall of the large room where the girls kept at the academy would sleep to create enough of a distraction before you were out and free for good. Easy right? How wrong you’d be.

When it was time for the distraction, Nat stood by the door waiting for the next surge of lightning of whatever broke the electricities stability as you walked to the far side of the sleeping quarters where you were sure you’d have enough time to bang on the walls and sprint out of that door.

You heard a crash of thunder so you knew your escape chance would be soon. As you were about to start banging on the walls you see a door knob parallel to Nat but far away none the less start turning.

BAM

Lightning strikes, what seems to be right outside of the building. You sprint for the door only to have your arm caught by one of Madame B’s henchmen.

Just like that the power flickers.

five.

Without much thought you break away from the man’s grasp lunge at Natalia who happened to be at the door.

four.

“We’ll meet again Natalia.” you speak softly

three.

You shove her out of the door with all of your might.

two.

You use all of your remaining strength that you can muster up to slam the heavy metal door closed.

one.

Click

The door locks once again.

“You stupid little bitch. Get over here NOW!” the man practically growls.

You slowly and steadily walk over to the man as he gruesomely pummels and kicks you.

Sure the beatings, mind torture and manipulation hurt, but you’ve never experienced any kind of pain on the same caliber to what being separated from Natalia feels like.

Madame B is more than disappointed, enraged and annoyed with one of her ‘star students’. You receive daily beatings and long, tiresome training hours for helping Natalia escape. Although everyone is ‘replaceable’ in the minds of the staff as well as Madame B, they just lost Natalia so they couldn’t afford to lose you as well.

Months later the beatings finally slow down to a couple a week which you are able to endure. Madame’s mission now is to make a monster out of you by pushing you to and past your limits when training.

One night you finally drift off to sleep. You hate sleeping. It’s a constant replay of your last night with Nat. Only hoping that she made it to civilization safe and sound and is living a normal teens life. However, tonight’s dream is different. In this dream you see yourself shoving your packed-escape bag between your mattress and bedframe as you are bleeding out on the ground from the beatings. You wake up in a cold sweat and manage to kneel on the ground and slowly lift up your mattress only to find that same, small bag filled with the few, but important belongings of yours and Nat’s. You open up the bag forgetting all about what you both had packed. The most important items you see is a picture of Natalia as a toddler with alongside her mother and father, a small metal ring which you had made for her after stealing a small teaspoon at dinner, banging it against the concrete floor with a rock to flatten it out as you’d continuously bend it back and fourth so only the thinnest part is of the spoon is left which you bend into a ring before surprising Nat with it after you know she had a pretty rough day training, and lastly Nat’s papers containing important info about her such as her full name, birthplace, parents names, and birthdate.

November 22, 1984

You make sure you have this date burned into your head, latching onto any important information about her you can learn.

You hang onto those three items keeping them hidden.

Two and a half years later...

It’s late at night when you hear gunshots and fights breaking out throughout the facility. You quickly get up out of bed (once again undoing your cuffs) and grab those three items from under your mattress. You place them in your pocket getting ready to make a break for the outside world. As you reach for the door you turn back taking one last look at the place you’ve been living for pretty much the entirety of your life, only before a man in a funny red, white, and blue costume enters your view.

You bring your hands up ready for a fight.

“Look kid, I’m not here to fight you. We are breaking you out.” the man ensures

“Who even are you?” you sternly question

“Steve Rogers. But the public calls me Captain America.” his gaze settles on your figure, “Mind telling me who you are?” he pushes

“Names y/n, but look I’ve got places to be ma-“ you are cut off when Captain America’s jaw drops.

“No, we both know you don’t. But, you ARE coming with me.” you know there isn’t much room for protest but that won’t stop you from trying. You lunge at him and push him to the ground as you wave a small goodbye and sprint towards the door only for your body to fall on the ground limp. Realizing you’ve been stunned by something temporarily.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” you shriek, he only chuckles.

“God, Nat was right about you.” she shakes he head with a small grin on his face.

“N-nat?” you whisper as you vision fades black.

You regain consciousness and look around only to find yourself in a weird windowy, loud vehicle type thing. You see a group of people standing around you but you see one particular familiar face hovering directly over yours lightly combing through your hair with one one hand and gently outlining your jawline with the other.

“NAT!” you screech, your brain is feeling too many emotions to comprehend at the moment.

Once she sees and hears you are awake she pulls you into a bone crushing hug.

“Y/n/n I’m so sorry I left you and you had to stay in that hellhole for so long alone I don’t know how I would’ve help up it if that-“ you cut her off

“Natalia, all that matters is I’m here with you right now.” you reason.

After getting off of what you learned is a ‘plane’ you and Nat spend hours together clinging onto one another as if, as soon as you separate you will be absent in her life for another couple years, vice versa.

Months pass by. Even though you and Nat have yet to label yourselves as a couple your hearts belong to one another after being attached to the hip to one another for pretty much every activity or mission you both do. In this time you were also recruited as an Avenger due to your skillful hand to hand combat and your masterful types of fighting you have nearly perfected from your time in the room.

The date just happens to be November 22. You are pretty sure no one in the compound is aware of Natalia’s birthday, hell, you aren’t even sure if she’s aware.

Today is the day you decide to return the missing items from her bag that you recover after she left.

You wake up next to her and wake her up with a long, graceful, soft kiss on her lips to which she responds shortly after by kissing you back as you feel as tiny smirk against your own lips.

“Hey, what was that for?” she asks playfully

“Ohhh nothing. Just maybe it’s for my favorite girl’s special day today.” Nat blushes.

“H-how’d you know?”

“Oh honey, I know e v e r y t h i n g.” you reply

Before she can respond you pull her to sit up on your shared bed and hand her an envelope containing her papers as well as he one and only photo of herself and her family.

As soon as she sees both items she sobs into your chest. (more because of the picture, you really only included her papers so she too would know all the most crucial parts of her life pre-red room era.

“Uh, uh, uh’” you tut,”One more thing.” you reach for her hand slowly and tell her to shut her eyes. You slowly slide the makeshift ring on her finger.

“Open.” you instruct

To which she gasps at the sight and just like the day you both were reunited you hugged and kissed for hours on end.

“Nat, will you be my girlfriend?” you ask with a sheepish smile.

“Of course y/n/n, I thought you’d never ask.” she takes a breath,��I know love is for children, but you are my only exception.”

“Ditto.” Natalia chuckles, “That is what the Americans say, right?” you backtrack with flushed cheeks.

She holds you tighter and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Sure.” she breathes out.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanov x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n

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warmblanketwhump · 3 years

Text

flight plan

disclaimer: this takes place in pre-you-know-what times - if you’re actually sick, do not do what B does here. alright, on to the suffering :)

Back when B booked their flight, the 4 am boarding time and 2 layovers seemed like a great exchange for saving a few hundred dollars while flying across the country. But now, with a head that feels like it was stuffed with cotton, a gate change that forced their leadened body to trek across the entire airport, and an additional 3-hour delay before their final 4-hour flight, they were beginning to question their penny-pinching ways.

In a nearby terminal, a fussy infant screamed, and it took everything for B not to scream back at them: I hate it here too! Their nerves were frayed, their whole body ached to the bone, and their head felt like it was in a vise grip.

It hadn’t felt this bad this morning - heck, they wouldn’t have left if they’d felt this bad - but the changing cabin pressure and constant temperature shifts from hot, stuffy terminals to icy planes were wreaking havoc on their poor, rapidly sickening body. They’d been up for 18 hours. And now, they had no choice but to ride it out and power through the last leg. They hug the paper cup of tea they’d grabbed at a nearby cafe close to their chest, trying to hold back their frustrated tears.

They just wanted to be home.

B shifts on the hard terminal seat as they wrap up a third agonizing hour of waiting, willing the passengers ahead of them to board more quickly so they could just get home to A, who they’d been missing all week. But the miserable minutes ticked by, and B kept having to blow their tender nose with their precious (and dangerously dwindling) travel pack of tissues. As they massage their aching sinuses, B feels a tap on their shoulder. Turning, they recognize a fellow passenger from their previous flight extending another full pack their way.

“Here. You need these more than I do.” They extend the gift, and B gratefully accepts. The stranger nods, and heads back to their luggage to wait out the boarding process.

After what feels like an hour, B’s group is finally able to board the flight. From their boarding pass, they knew they’d be stuck in the middle seat, but their heart lifts a bit when they see their Kleenex-wielding savior in the aisle seat next to theirs, who waves and gives them a small smile as they let them through. On the window seat side, a sour-looking individual scans them up and down, raising an eyebrow when B coughs roughly in their elbow.

“Sorry…” B sniffles. The sour-faced person rolls their eyes and turns their attention to the window, and B shrinks in their seat, embarrassed.

“Just want to be home, right?” Their aisle friend smiles sympathetically, and B nods weakly. “I know the feeling. Name’s C.”

B introduces themselves, and the two make amicable small talk during the pre-flight checklist, finding out that they both called their destination city home. As the plane takes flight, B winces - the pressure change makes their head ache, and their sinuses feel like they’re going to explode, along with their ears. The dry air of the plane irritates their chapped nose, and they close their eyes and grip the armrest till their knuckles bleach, trying to breathe through the pain and praying it doesn't get worse.

It gets worse. On top of their pounding head and runny nose, B discovers like all the other planes, this one's an icebox. Once they reach cruising altitude, B apologetically shuffles by C to head to the bathroom, hoping that by some chance it’s warmer in there. In the dim light, B’s stares at their haggard reflection – their feverish eyes are glazed and watery, their raw nose is bright red, and their peaked face is wan and drawn, coated with a sheen of sweat. Hopefully A would still recognize them, they thought humorlessly.

The bathroom is just as frigid, and B’s stuck with a stream of lukewarm water that barely heats their cold hands. Back in their seat, the throbbing headache continues to build behind their eyes, and their throat desperately cries out for something to drink.

As if they could hear their thoughts, C leans over and pulls a small bottle of water from their personal bag. “The flight attendants came by with drinks while you were up - figured you could at least use some water.” B gratefully accepts and murmurs their thanks, and the cool water feels like heaven as they gulp it down.

After, B pulls the paper-thin flight blanket up to their chin - at this point, they didn’t care what the travel magazines said about how dirty they were. But it’s no use. The cold plane air sinks into their aching bones, and their body shivers to make up the difference. They close their eyes and wriggle around in the seat, trying to find a comfortable position that still allows them to curl up and get warm while exhaling as few germs as possible – and if there's any mercy at all, to fall unconscious for the next 3 and a half hours.

“Will you stop?” The window passenger glares at them. “It’s bad enough you brought your germs on here. But now you can’t even sit still?” Tears pricked at B's eyes - being sick always made them more sensitive - but before they can squeak out an apology, C leaps to their aid.

"Lay off," C snaps. "Can't you see they don't feel good?" The other passenger huffs indignantly, and presses closer to the wall of the plane. C's eyes don't leave them, and they stretch their hand out tentatively toward B. "May I?"

B nods, letting their eyes close, and C gently lays a cool hand across their forehead, clicking their tongue at the heat. "Well, I've definitely flown with healthier seatmates than you." B tries to laugh, but a cough seizes their lungs, and they double over to try and contain it as best they can as C gently rubs between their shoulder blades. When they finally catch their breath, they rest their head on their knees, exhausted from the exertion. From their prone position, B checks their watch. 3 hours and 26 minutes to go.

I'm going to die.

Slowly, B sits up and stiffly straightens their blanket with as little movement as possible. A draft floods their section of the plane, and B longingly eyes C’s unopened blanket tucked in the seat pocket, trying to quiet the incessant chatter of their teeth.

“You cold?” C frowns.

“Freezing,” they whimper through clenched teeth. “And I hurt all over and I just want to go home and I miss A and I’m so tired.” They didn’t mean to break down, but two twin tears slip from their eyes as they try to stop their lip from quivering.

C’s quiet for a moment, then stands to rustle around in the overhead compartment, and returns with a small bundle.

“Lean back,” C gently commands, and A obeys and closes their eyes. They’re immediately draped in warmth, and open their eyes to see a thick, fleece-lined jacket being tucked over them, along with a soft travel blanket over their legs. They try to protest, but C shushes them.

“Being sick is already miserable without being stuck in a tin can in the sky. Besides, these flight blankets suck." C gives B's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and B nearly melts at the touch.

“And look, if you don’t want to, it’s fine - you don’t know me - but you can use my shoulder if you want to try and catch some sleep.”

In any other moment B would be mortified, but they're so spent that they just nod weakly and surrender to the offer of comfort. C pulls their unused blanket out and folds it into a sort of pillow, clicking the armrest down between them, and B collapses onto them in a boneless heap. Sleep tugs at the edge of their vision, but there's one lingering question on their mind.

"C? Why....why are you helping me? You've been nothing but kind and you don't even know me."

C's quiet for a moment. "Last year, I tried to do the same thing you're doing – power through an 8-hour flight home with a blossoming case of pneumonia. Cough, chills, headache, the works. About 2 hours in, I was about ready to jump out of the plane." They chuckle lightly, but B hears the wistful note in their voice. "It was absolutely miserable, and all I wanted was someone to hold my hand and tell me it’d be okay.”

C turns to look at B. "But nobody did. Not a single soul. So I vowed that if ever I found myself in a position someday to help somebody home, I’d do it.”

The words are so achingly comforting and desperately sad, so soft and generous and B feels like they should say something, affirm that yes, helping a random sick passenger was damn close to sainthood. But instead, sleep wins over, and they nestle closer to C as they tumble into a soft, dreamless sleep.

it feels like they’re asleep for minutes, but when C nudges them gently, they realize that they’re descending. They’re home.

The wheels skid on the runway, and the journey off the plane is a blur of sound and color and too-bright lights. B is only vaguely aware of C’s arm around their waist, guiding them through the crowd and to the baggage claim area. They must have told C which suitcase is theirs, because they blink twice and it magically appears at their feet.

“C’mon now, B. Almost there.” C gently guides them forward, and B wills themselves to power through the final few minutes.

“Do you see A anywhere?” C asks, squinting through the crowd of people. B can barely focus their eyes, and they’re losing hope, when all of a sudden - they see them. A. Holding a small paper sign with B’s name and a stuffed animal with a small red heart in their arms, waving wildly. They’re beaming, but the smile falls from their face as they see what condition B’s in.

“B - what happened? Are you okay?” B can barely whisper A’s name, and A pulls them into a hug, gently whispering reassurances, that they’re home and safe.

“Bit of a rough flight, but B hung in there,” C smiles, passing B’s suitcase to A. “They’re not feeling too hot, but I think they’ll make it.”

Suddenly, B releases A and stumbles back to C, throwing their arms around them. C’s thrown off balance by the strength of the hug, but manage to compose themselves and pat them gently on the back.

“Thank you,” B whispers. “So much.”

C blushes. “It was nothing. Just don’t forget to pay it forward.”

B squeezes tighter. “You deserved help. You still do.” C says nothing, just swallows tightly, and B feels C’s arms tighten ever so briefly around their waist.

A rush of dizziness floods B, and C gently guides them back to A’s waiting arms, before handing A a scrap of paper. “Listen, it’s none of my business - but can you give me a call in a couple days, just so I know they’re feeling better?”

A takes the scrap and smiles. “Absolutely. It’s the least I can do to thank you for keeping old B from falling apart in public.” B grunts indignantly, almost asleep again, and A strokes their hair and smiles.

They make it back to the car, and A manages to maneuver a limp B into the passenger seat, tucking them in and cranking the heat on their side. B blinks their eyes open and smiles guilelessly. “Go home now?”

A smiles and presses a soft kiss to their forehead. “Yes, love. We’re going home now.”

#fever whump #sickfic #whump prompt #hurt comfort #caretaking #whump on a plane #PLANE WHUMP EVERYONE #FINALLY #this really took a turn I was not expecting when I set out to write this #BUT ITS DONE #also there is most certainly space for a part 2 👀

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farfromharry · 3 years

Text

I like it when you hold me | Roommate!Harry fic

Summary: the three times you needed harry to hold you and the one time he needed you to hold him.

Word count - 3,251

Warnings - language? anxiety attack, brief mention of painkillers

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

Your day today didn't consist of much. You’d gotten up early this morning along with your roommate to help him prepare for a high profile photoshoot he’d had booked for weeks. You knew he was nervous, panicking so much for the past few days as the day grew closer.

You made sure he ate breakfast and checked he had all his equipment before he left, helping to take that burden off of him.

He’d kissed your head as a thank you for the help just as he left, and then you were left to yourself for the rest of the day.

“You’re an angel, I’ll see you later.” You forced another hug out of him, wishing him good luck again, not that he’d really need it.

“Can’t wait to hear all about it.”

After that, things started to go south for you around eleven, your stomach beginning to cramp painfully as you tidied up the mess you’d left in the kitchen with Harry the night before. To try and settle the boy's nerves you may have had one too many alcoholic drinks while having a film night, but now being the one to clean it all up you were definitely regretting your drunk selfs actions.

You didn’t normally track your periods as frequently as you should, so this definitely caught you off guard, but you knew now any plans you had for the rest of the day were ruined.

After you sorted things out and took some painkillers, you crawled into your bed with your heating pad, pressing it up against your lower stomach with hope of at least some relief.

You didn’t even get a wink of sleep, the painkillers not working strong enough or long enough to make sure you were deep into a nap before your cramps began again.

You ended up spending most of the day staring at the different views of your room, just waiting and counting down the seconds until your roommate got home.

When he arrived back a few hours later, Harry expected to find you somewhere about the apartment, possibly expecting to find you watching a film on the couch where he’d be able to tell you all about his day.

When he didn’t find you he called out for you, getting a quiet ‘here’ in response from your room. He trudged to your room with a grin on his face, ready to see his favourite person’s face after a long day of going without, but he was instead met with the sight of you curled up in bed with a look of pain plastered all over your face.

He pushed down any excitement he had for the job he’d done today that he wanted to tell you about, deciding it could wait and you should instead be his priority right now.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, kneeling beside where you were laid in bed, gently stroking your hair. You gave him a weak smile, lifting your blanket to show him the heating pad you had pressed against your abdomen.

He pouted sympathetically, knowing exactly the time of month when you’d get that out, placing his lips onto your head lovingly.

“Do you need anything?”

You adored how attentive Harry was to you at this time of the month when you really just needed some extra loving.

“Painkillers and cuddles, please.” He thought you looked so innocent wrapped up in the covers of your bed just asking him to give you love and it made his heart ache.

“Coming your way.” You smiled as you watched him walk out of your room, leaving you to your own devices for a few minutes. He came back no longer than five 5 minutes later. A mug of tea in his hand, some painkillers and a change of clothes for himself.

“Take two of these, ‘m just gonna change and I’ll be back.” You nodded your head, shifting from your comfortable position to do as he instructed. He came back in much comfier clothes than early in no time, climbing underneath the covers of your bed beside you.

“Now, someone said they needed a cuddle?”

You laughed, curling into the man’s body as his arms snaked around your form. You had to wait a while for the tablets to begin to do their job, so your stomach was still aching despite the little things Harry had done for you.

“Do you need anything else?” he asked, looking so softly into your eyes. You smiled, taking the hand that was resting on your cheek and guiding it to your lower back.

“Can you just rub my back please? Hurts there too,” you explained. He hummed, carefully slipping his hand just under the bottom of the hoodie that was swallowing your body. His thumb rubbed circles across your skin and just the heat coming from his hand was enough to soothe you.

Your eyes began to feel heavy again, your head nuzzling against him, his chin resting on top of your head.

You were in that headspace right between being awake and falling asleep, completely in a daze when you remembered that Harry had come straight from his work, reminding you to ask him how things went.

“How did your photoshoot go?” you asked, burying your head closer to his chest. He could hear how tired you were in your voice, especially since you hadn’t been able to get any sleep during the day due to the continuous ache in your lower abdomen.

“I’ll tell you when you’re feeling better, get some sleep.”

He didn’t allow you time to protest and with one last kiss to your forehead you were out like a light in the man’s warm arms.

»»——⍟——««

You were a frequent guest at the Holland family events due to being so close to Harry, and it was a plus that his family loved you. This time around you’d been invited to a garden party, showing up with Harry and instantly being whisked away by his mother.

You didn’t get a chance to speak to him again until around an hour or so later, stumbling over to him feeling much more bubbly than when you’d arrived due to your constant intake of alcohol.

Your arms wrapped around the man with no hesitation, your body leaning against him for extra stability.

His arm wrapped around your shoulders, placing a greeting kiss on your head that didn’t go unnoticed by the men he was talking to.

“Hi,” he mumbled, confused as to why you’d suddenly become so clingy. You flashed him a happy smile, tightening your arm around his waist as the two of you broke from his previous conversation into your own little bubble. “Hi,” you giggled.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, chuckling towards the end of his sentence when your smile just got wider.

“I love your family, d’you know that?” You rested your head on his shoulder, your eyes scanning the garden as the party progressed. You finally noticed that Harry had been talking to Sam and Harrison, the two watching you both now with smirks at how close you were being.

“You do?” You nodded your head, a silly grin on your lips as you looked up into those warm brown eyes. His attention was torn when he heard a snicker from his twin, his head turning to look at the pair in front of you.

“What are you two looking at?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows in slight annoyance. He barely went a week without hearing from them at least once how whipped he was for you, and they were never happy when he didn’t do anything about it.

“Nothing, nothing,” Harrison mumbled, hiding his smile behind his beer bottle. Harry rolled his eyes, swallowing the last swig of his own beer.

“Come on,” he mumbled, tugging you in the direction of the drinks. “‘m too sober to deal with them.”

By the end of the night you were more than a little tipsy, clinging to Harry’s arm with a certainty that you’d fall over if you didn’t. This wasn’t the first time he’d seen you in this state, having had many nights at the pub with a much worse result than this.

“I think we need to get you home,” he said. You pouted like a child, wrapping your arms around his waist again.

“Don’t wanna go home yet,” you whined. He placed his hands on your cheeks, gently lifting your face and looking into your slightly glazed over eyes.

“You’re drunk, bub.”

You seemed upset at his accusation, shaking your head against his chest. You couldn’t see the amused smile on his face as he watched you try and work your way around his words. You did give up after a few seconds, your intoxicated mind finding it too hard to form a well thought out lie right now, so you took the easy way.

“‘m not drunk.” He rolled his eyes, running his fingers over top of your messy hair.

“D’you wanna know how I know you’re drunk?” he asked, flashing you a smile that made your knees weak. “You get clingy when you’re drunk.”

You gasped, feigning offense as you realised he was right. Not wanting to further prove his point, you willed yourself to pull away from him, but right now all you wanted was to be in his arms.

You eventually sighed, accepting your defeat when his thumbs stroked your temples.

“Fine, but please just keep holding me.”

Harry’s heart swelled at your words, his arms snaking around your neck to hold you close to him. He had absolutely no issue with holding you close to him for the rest of the night, even if he was getting those looks from his family.

“I’ll always hold you,” he promised. “Whenever you need me.”

»»——⍟——««

You startled, jolting awake in a cold sweat as you stared into the darkness of your room. Your heart was racing against your ribcage, making it difficult to catch your breath, especially through the few stray tears that rolled down your cheeks still.

Every tiny sound you heard had you jumping in your place, the fear surrounding your nightmare still very present in the front of your mind. It took a few minutes for you to gather the courage to actually up and move enough to turn on your light, but even that wasn’t enough.

You were still shaking even as the lamp illuminated most of your room, scared of being alone where anything could get you when you closed your eyes.

It took you short of a minute to decide you needed Harry right now, but psyching yourself up to move the distance to his room took a little bit longer.

“You can do this, there’s nothing there,” you whispered, reassuring no one but yourself. You took a few deep breaths as you opened your door, staring into the intimidatingly dark hallway that housed Harry’s room.

You could see the faint light under his door, hoping he was still awake and hadn’t just fallen asleep with the light left on. You raised your hand and knocked quietly, trying not to disturb him if he was sleeping.

“Harry, are you awake?”

Now if the boy hadn’t been on his phone, still sorting some things out for his older brother, then he probably would’ve missed your ever so gentle knock on his bedroom door.

“Yeah, come in.”

You pushed open the door to his room with shaky hands, spotting the man laid in his bed, the light from his nightstand and his phone illuminating his face. He noticed the distressed look on your face, pushing himself into more of a sitting position to help you feel more welcomed.

“What happened?” he asked, rubbing his tired eyes as he watched you nervously shift your weight from your right foot to your left in his doorway. You sniffled quietly, adding on to the man’s worry about your wellbeing.

“Nightmare,” you simply mumbled. He frowned, shifting slightly under his covers to make more room for you to climb in. He lifted them up and with a ‘come on,’ you were already crawling in with him. You laid with your back to him, not wanting all the sympathy you’d surely get if he saw the dried tears on your face. Harry put his phone down and turned off the light, making the decision himself that you’d probably just want to go straight to sleep.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, letting you get comfortable in his arms and against his chest. He was always glad you were able to feel calmed by his presence, and he would never turn down helping you after a nightmare because he knows you’d do the same for him.

“No,” you whispered, nuzzling your face in his arm. “But, thank you.”

You adored being Harry’s little spoon, for the sole purpose of feeling the way your bodies perfectly molded together. He was happy to tangle your legs together, one of his arms being thrown over your waist and the other being used as a pillow for your head. It often meant he was left with an ache in his arm but seeing how comfortable it made you was enough for him to deal with it.

You didn’t fall asleep straight away, neither did Harry, the two of you just laying in one anothers embrace. You felt him pull you even closer, your heart swelling as he did so.

“Harry?” you said, catching his attention. He could hear how shaky your voice still was from your nightmare. He heard you let out a whimper, tears now threatening to roll down your cheeks.

He cooed, letting you roll over and hide yourself in his arms. He ran his fingers through your messy hair, careful not to catch and accidentally hurt you.

“You’re okay.” He didn’t let up comforting you until he was sure you’d at least stopped crying. Your thoughts were now overwhelmed by Harry, your nightmare being pushed further and further to the back of your mind.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispered, pressing a final kiss to your head. You smiled softly, allowing yourself to drift off in his arms and in his bed once again.

“Goodnight Harry.”

»»——⍟——««

The slamming of the front door let you know that Harry was home. For the past week he’d been working extra late with Tom, always coming home tired and almost always going straight to bed with as little of a greeting and a goodnight to you.

This was his final straw though, he and Tom had gotten into an argument today that left him mentally drained for the rest of the day. He was at his breaking point and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold it together.

He was unusually quiet as he strode into where you were sitting in the kitchen working on some things for your own work.

You watched as he headed straight to pour himself a glass of water, the glass almost slipping from his hands at how sweaty they’d become.

“Hey, you okay?” you asked, you didn’t have to be a genius to notice that Harry clearly wasn’t feeling himself. He barely even spared you a glance, the man was much too caught up in trying to calm all the racing thoughts in his mind.

“Harry?”

“‘m fine,” he choked out.

You could see the way his hands shook as he tried to take off his jacket, tears of frustration building in his eyes the more difficult it got. You watched as his chest began to rise and fall much quicker.

Harry felt like he was suffocating, his body temperature trebling in such a short span of time that he felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore.

You’d seen Harry have a few anxiety attacks in the few years you’d been roommates, so you knew the obvious signs of when things were happening in his mind, usually happening after he’d overworked himself.

You headed over to him and helped peel the jacket off of his body, helping lowering him to the floor when his knees buckled beneath him.

“Hey, hey,” you whispered, taking his shaky hands in yours, holding them close to your chest so he couldn’t hurt himself. Your eyes were focused on his face as he teared up, nervously biting his lip to try and contain the sob threatening to escape his mouth. “I’ve got you,” you promised.

He let out a whimper, squeezing his eyes shut as the tears began to fall. You placed a kiss on the back of one of Harry’s hands, keeping your distance so he didn’t feel as though you were overwhelming him too much.

“Like we practised bub, need you to tell me three things you can see.” You needed him to open his eyes, trying to coax him into doing so. It took a few moments of you rubbing your thumbs along the back of his hands for him to finally look at you, a look of uncertainty and fear in his eyes.

You hated seeing him like this purely because of that scared look you could see in his eyes. It broke your heart how scared of everything and himself he became in these situations.

“There they are, there are those pretty eyes,” you said, flashing him a warm smile. Your smile seemingly being enough to encourage him to listen to you. His eyes darted around nervously at first before trying to find somewhere to settle for a second or two.

“I-I can see my phone, y-you and um-“ he paused, taking a few deep breaths.

“Take your time, it’s okay.”

This attack seemed to be resolving itself quicker than the ones you were used to helping him through, his breathing beginning to slow rather rapidly. “And m-my jacket. Can see my jacket too.” You grinned, making sure to tell him how proud of him you were.

You were more than happy to let him crawl into your arms, his head tucking itself under your chin. You stroked his curls for a while in a comfortable silence, the pair of you still not moving from your space on the floor.

Your other hand ran up and down his back while he clinged to you. At one point he shifted slightly, brushing your cheek with his hair, creating a ticklish sensation that had you holding back laughter.

You moved your hair out of the way so it’d stop, but he only seemed to do it again and you weren’t sure if he was doing it on purpose or not.

The next time it happened you couldn’t contain the snicker, prompting Harry to glance up in your direction.

“Why are you laughing?” he asked, burying his head in your chest insecurely, thinking you were laughing at him.

“Your hairs tickling me,” you admitted with a small giggle, pushing his hair out of your face for the third time. You saw the ghost of a smile threatening to form on his lips, warming your heart a little bit.

“Come on, we’re going to go watch a movie and take your mind off of everything.” You left no room for protest from him, and he didn’t seem to mind one bit.

“C-Can we still cuddle? I like it when you hold me,” he muttered innocently, blushing shyly under your gaze.

You grinned, nodding your head. “I like it when you hold me too.”

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

harry holland taglist → @euphorichxlland @theliterarymess @call-me-baby-gir1 @icyhollands @hollandbroz-n-haz @hopelessly-harry @siriuslyslyslytherin @musicalkeys-blog @itstaskeen @zspideyy @spideyssunshine @givebuckyhisplumsnow @hollandcrush @wizkiddx @hopeless-romantic-baby @thehumanistsdiary @dummiesshort @itsbieberxholland @lillucyandthejets @piscesparker @bvttercupbby @kujokura @jess-holland23 @captainamirica @tomsirishgirlx @annathesillyfriend @sunwardsss @messedupmyfuckinglife @bi-lmg @tomhollandismyhusband1996 @multixfandomwriter

#harry holland fluff #harry holland x reader #harry holland one shot #harry holland imagine #harry holland #roommate!harry

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aghostpost · 3 years

Text

The Hard-J (Victor Creed x Reader)

A/N: I know I said it would be ready by the weekend but... it wasn’t! Excuses only work for those that make them, so I won’t bother lmao~ This one is for @queengiuliettafirstlady and everyone else that loves a little Victor Creed intensity. ♥

“Can we not do this today, please?”

“What the hell was that about?” He slammed the door after him as I went to my kitchen to put groceries away.

“He saw me walking back from the store, that’s it.”

“That’s it, huh? What did I say about hangin’ out with him?”

“We weren’t hanging out! I told you, he saw me walking and he was helping me carry a few things. That. Is it.”

“You see how he talks to me? How he’s always talked to me-“

“-I see two brothers who, for whatever reason, can’t seem to hack it.”

“We aren’t brothers.”

I rolled my eyes, shoving my peanut butter and fudge swirl ice cream into the freezer. “Brothers in arms.”

“Because there’s no damn respect! Always lookin’ down at me like he’s some kinda fuckin’ superior.”

“Vic…”

“I don’t want you around him. You hear me?”

I let out an exasperated sigh as I rolled my eyes. “It’s too hot to argue about this shit.”

“You’re the one arguing instead of just agreeing, Y/N.”

“Your relationship with Logan is just that: yours. I have no problem with the guy.”

“If I see you two together again-“

“- Do not end that sentence with a threat, Victor-“

“- I’ll do you one better and end it with a guaran-fucking-tee!”

“We live in the same city, I’m bound to run into him sometimes!”

“Y/N look at me… Hey!” He shouted, making me jump out of my skin as I gave him my undivided attention. Clearly he was serious, which he tended to be. But this time, more serious than normal.

He was always so very dead serious whenever we talked about Logan.

“I don’t care if you’re next door neighbors with him. If I see you two with each other again, it will not end well.”

“For him? Or for me?”

“Both o’ you.”

I stared him down and watched him do the same, his face cold hard steel, not even a muscle flexing as he spoke to me. “What the hell happened between you two, anyway?” I asked. “What did he do that’s so damn bad you’re forbidding me to even say hi? He kill your cat or somethin’?”

He smirked and let out a huff of a chuckle, his left fang peeking from behind his lips. “You think I’m kiddin’?”

I rolled my eyes and pushed him away from me to continue putting the food away. “Yeah, sure. Whatever. I’ll stay away from him, Victor. Whatever the hell makes-” I couldn’t finish my sentence before I heard the loud crash of glass breaking. I whipped around and saw a wet puddle dripping on my wall, the floor beneath it decorated with broken glass and what was a very nice bouquet of assorted flowers. “Are you shitting me?!”

“Oh, I got your attention now?”

“You had it! You’re throwing a temper tantrum, breaking my shit, all because you’re jealous of someone I’m not even interested in?”

“Jealous?” he questioned as he slowly stalked towards me, like a predator carefully eyeing its prey. I was no stranger to Victor's temper; under the right circumstances, he could go from settled to up in flames with the snap of a finger. Maybe it’s because he was never really at ease, always ready to pounce at any moment’s notice if necessary. Yeah, I know he has little patience and is kinda trigger happy to get into a fight, his own source of entertainment. But that was with other people, strangers. With me, he exercised a lot more restraint. We’d have arguments, he’d yell, maybe hurt a wall and then storm off.

But whenever Logan was involved, it was a different story...

“You need to relax,” I warned as I slowly backed away from him, ready to defend myself if necessary, even if I knew it was a losing battle.

“Did you just say I was jealous of him?”

“Are you?”

“What reason do I have to be jealous?”

“You tell me. What is it, Vic? You think I’m gonna run off with him into the sunset? You come over here one day to see me, all my shit is packed up and I leave a note behind? I doubt he’d throw my shit around like you just did.”

“I bought you those damn flowers,” he growled.

“You gonna buy the replacements too?” I asked playfully, trying to diffuse the tension but failing. It was painfully obvious, literally, he wasn’t in the mood to play when I felt his fist grip me like a boa constrictor. He forced my head against the kitchen cabinet behind me and got close to my face. If he moved any closer he’d be able to taste the chive cream cheese bagel I had on the way over here.

“Now that all depends…”

“Victor, let go of me. Now.”

“What’s the matter, hm? I thought you liked it rough?” he spoke with a tone of warning before a lecherous grin spread across his face. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t release a flutter deep in my belly, my incessant desire for him threatening to surface. It was embarrassing and admittedly disgusting to me, how even in moments as such, there was always going to be some shred of me that could neither ignore nor deny my constant thirst for him to satisfy me in ways only Victor knew how.

“You’ve made your point.” I tried to remain calm while fighting for air. I was willing to bet money that he could feel my pulse quickening beneath his grip. If even one of his claws came out I’d be bleeding out all over the linoleum.

“Have I?”

“You have five seconds to get the fuck off of me... or I walk.” He stared me in the eye only a few seconds longer before relinquishing his grip. If there was anything I caught on to in the seven months we’ve been seeing each other, if that’s even what you wanna call him dropping by for food, sex and quality conversation with a solid night’s rest, it’s that he actually greatly enjoyed having me in his life. He would never admit it, of course, being the poster boy for hypermasculinity; no way he’d display the level of emotion required to confess he liked me. But I picked up on it in subtle ways he probably doesn’t even notice. The way he throws his arm over me in his sleep, subconsciously keeping me in place with him. The way he came over and pretended it was just for sex, when we wouldn’t wind up having sex at all. The flowers he bought me, before throwing them to the wall in a rage. Most importantly, the way he wouldn’t stay gone long after a fight and would come back with his tail tucked in ready to apologize, afraid that would be the fight that finally scared me off and into the arms of someone else. I wasn’t using that to my advantage here, but I was letting him know what we both knew but never spoke of:

He wanted me around. He liked me.

I took a moment to allow oxygen to return to my lungs before I addressed him. “I pushed a button o’ yours with that little J-word?”

“What on Earth gave you that idea?” he asked sarcastically.

I nodded. “Fine. Noted. But I promise you, next time you use your words, because if you ever think about putting your hands on me again-”

“-Now you’re ending sentences with threats?”

“Guarantees, right?” I stalked to the corner of the kitchen and grabbed the broom that was wedged between the wall and my fridge then slammed it into his chest. “Dust pan behind the fridge,” was all I said before making my way to the bedroom.

“We’re not done-”

“-I am.” The moment I turned the corner out of the kitchen he was following me, the broom loudly clapping against the kitchen floor. The same hand that was just wrapped tightly around my throat was now finding its way around my waist along with his other one, pressing me to the wall. “Victor-“

“-I’ll getcha new flowers.”

“Fuck the flowers and fuck you.” He wasn’t hearing any of it. He grabbed my wrists and began making his way to the couch, my legs clumsily bumping into any and everything I walked towards.

“I’m not gonna pour my heart out an’ tell you all the fucked up things about me, if that’s what you’re waitin’ for me to do.”

“Mutant in human world. It’s not hard to figure out.”

“And I’m not tellin’ you the textbook of reasons I’m not holdin’ hands with him either.”

“And I’m not agreeing to stay away from him for your reasons and personal grudges unknown.”

“So maybe I didn’t make myself as clear as I thought.” Before I was aware the back of my legs bumped into the arm of my couch. I was desperate to create some sort of distance between us, so I fell backwards and wiggled away to the far opposite end of the couch. He stood at my feet and without breaking eye contact, lifted the loose black henley from his chest. He was possibly the only person I knew that could wear black and long sleeves in the peak of a summer in the city without breaking a sweat. But now wasn’t the time to be impressed by minor things.

“It’s too hot for this, too.”

“You tellin’ me no?”

“Yes!”

“Why?” he asked as he continued advancing in my direction, fumbling with the belt on his jeans as he kicked his shoes off.

“Because I don’t feel like it. You’re not about to makeup sex your way out of putting your hands on me, dick.”

He shrugged to himself. “You never turned it down before.”

“Well, you know what they say the definition of insanity is, right…”

“Doin’ the same shit, expecting different results.”

“And I want different results, Victor.”

“Fine. So let’s try somethin’ different.” Without a word or warning he bent down and scooped me up, a hand firmly resting under each of my thighs, my legs snaked around his waist. I thought he was headed towards the bedroom, but he took a surprising left turn to the apartment balcony, gripping me tightly before using a hand to open the sliding glass door. The humidity instantly smothered me, my glasses fogging from the shock of being exposed to the summer heat after leaving my air conditioned living room. He sat in one of the wicker seats of my patio set and placed me in his lap, lifting my sundress so I could straddle him free of obstruction. He placed me directly onto his cock and was not gentle about it; my head instantly fell back as a rush of air escaped my chest, my hands finding his neck.

“Fuck,” I whispered.

“Exactly.”

“Shut the hell up.” There was no time for playful banter. The sun had only just started to set, meaning there was still plenty daylight for us to be seen; this had to be quick. And quiet. Quiet would be the hard part without a doubt. With his help, I lifted my body up and down, his fingertips digging into my hips as he held tightly to my waist. “Holy shit, Vic.”

“Still think I’m jealous?”

I grinned to myself. “I dunno; you’re fuckin’ me like you got somethin’ to prove,” I teased. Clearly there was jealousy but I knew better than to answer him with a yes. But if jealousy is this good a sexual motivator, I’d be happy with this silver lining to our fight. He lifted my dress up more, enough for him to expose my tits and seize my right one with his mouth. My head fell back, a cry escaping me when I felt the sharp stab of his teeth on the mound of flesh. “Fuck!” He growled, his mouth vibrating slightly around my nipple.

“Ya still gonna run away and leave a note?” he asked, the heat from his mouth making toes curl.

“Never.” Unless he pushed me to it, of course.

I felt the pads of his fingertips press my scalp, my hair tightly intertwined in his digits as he pulled my head back and forced me to make eye contact. “Don’t threaten to walk again.”

I rolled my eyes. “Or else?” I mocked.

He shook his head, his pelvis ceasing, the rapid rise and fall of our chests the only movement remaining between us. “No. Just don’t.”

I stared at him a moment longer and simply nodded before standing and turning around, lifting my dress over my head, then taking the rusty balcony rail in my hands to steady myself. I turned to look at him; to my surprise he was already stroking himself in the absence of something else warm wrapped around his cock. “Whatcha waitin’ for?”

“Can’t enjoy the view?”

“Enjoy it any longer and I’m gonna melt.”

“Someone other than me hungry for it?” he said with a hard slap to my right cheek before roughly re-entering from behind, making me jerk forward into the hot metal rail. I grunted at the pain in effort not to be too loud and settled comfortably on him, my body fitting him like a glove. He was in no way gentle as he thrust himself in and out of me, primal grunts escaping his chest every time his hips rammed into my ass. My tits would surely be bruised the way I was uncomfortably pressed into the railing. I stared at the rusted and flaking metal coating of the bars beneath my arms and fought to keep my legs from collapsing beneath me, every bone in my limbs turning to apple sauce, my muscles sore and aching. If only this kind of workout kept me in shape and was doctor recommended. And quiet as I was, there was nothing I could do to muffle the loud smack that echoed in the air when Victor got slap happy, or the sound that came from my mouth as a result. The funny thing was, the more I tried to shush him, the more intensely he fucked me, and the more sound we both ended up making.

“Sss, holy fuck! Fuck fuck fuck, Vic! Shit!” I cried out, the restraint I had for my volume loosening. On a slower day I would have had a bit more self control, but I never lasted long, or quietly, when he was in a more animalistic mood.

“Mm, that’s right,” he grunted, digging his fingers into my hip bones. “Lemme have it, baby.” And before I knew it I did exactly that. My legs gave out beneath me and I fell to my knees, failing to hold myself up on the balcony railing any longer as I came. My moans were beyond stifling, and I felt nothing else, not even the pools of sweat pouring out of me. For just a moment I’d fallen into a deep well of ecstasy, my head throbbing from the mix of summer heat and pleasure, before I regained some composure to return the favor.

I grabbed the thin cushion from my patio chair and placed it at his feet and knelt before him, taking him into my mouth as deep as I could. As hungrily as I could. Without hesitation his hands flew to my head, cradling the back of my skull and maneuvering me to a pace of his pleasure. “Atta girl,” he encouraged. He knew I was a sucker for praise, and after being a complete asshole I was expecting him to lay it on with the ass kissing for the rest of the evening. Now he had me working like I was the jealous one, when really I was only in competition with myself; I wanted to see if I could make him cum quicker than any of the other times I did this. I worked my head in a swivel and both of my hands in opposing twisting motion, pulling him into me as far as I could without biting off more than I could chew. It was useless, however, since Victor was determined to push my head down way past my limits. His hips undulated as he thrust his dick deeper and deeper into my throat. He’d momentarily pause and hold his place before pulling out to allow me to draw air, all before repeating the process. “Look at me,” he demanded, which was all he needed to say for me to know what time it was. I stared upwards at him with his cock still in my mouth, my eyes glassy with tears, and he pushed himself deep into my throat one final time and pumped the tip of his dick at the back of my throat. He held eye contact for as long as he could before his head fell backwards, eyes slamming shut as I felt the muscles of his thighs tighten. He grunted a low, beastlike growl before I felt him release all he had to offer in my throat, the sensation slightly tickling. I slowly jerked his dick off for good measure to ensure I got him for every drop before swallowing the thick, sticky fluid, swirling my tongue around his tip before he removed himself from my mouth.

“Ah, Jesus fuck,” he sighed, his chest rising and falling as he tried to recover.

“I think I missed that Sunday school lesson.” He rolled his eyes and looked down at me, head still resting in his lap, before rising and extending a hand. I grabbed and he pulled me up, coming face to face with him and the wild grin plastered on his face. “Back inside before my ass gets covered in bug bites.”

“I could scratch it for ya,” he offered, running a claw harmlessly up my spine. I shivered and pushed away from him before round two threatened to begin, sliding the balcony door open, relieved once the ice cold air conditioning hit my chest.

“No thanks. But you absolutely can buy me another bouquet of flowers. And a vase, while you’re at it.”

#request #victor creed #victor creed x reader #reader imagine

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witchywritingwildflower · 3 years

Text

I'M HERE - DRACO MALFOY

summary: (smut; sex; slight choking; dry humping; fem!reader; not proofread) reader gets scared of the storm outside and draco helps her relax and go back to sleep.

author's note: hii it's me again. draco calls reader pumpkin in this because i appreciate cute & unusual nicknames so i hope you will too. if not or you would like another one just lmk and i'll use that :) also send me stuff to write about! xoxo

_________________

The thunder outside was getting angrier and angrier. You were sitting with your legs tucked under your bum, your own part of the soft white duvet wrapped around you protectively. Draco was fast asleep on the right side of the bed, limbs spread, his blonde hair messy and fluffy. The thin white t-shirt he was wearing bunched up around his torso a little (as he was turning quite a lot before) and showed some of his happy trail. Your eyes faltered lower to his grey sweats, and as the white bedding swallowed the rest of him up you searched for another part of him you’d like to admire. His hands. Yes, his hands are comforting - soft and warm but also rough and slightly cold when you haven’t held them in a while. Now his left arm was bent next to his head on the pillow and the other was hanging off the side of the bed. You made a move to touch them, maybe play with his fingers but the loud noises outside made you pull back with a silent squeak. Draco stirred, reaching around for your body but when he couldn’t find anything he finally opened his eyes. When he took in your shaken-up expression his eyebrows furrowed. He sat up, grasping your hand in his.

“What’s wrong, pumpkin?”

“Woke up ‘cause of the storm,” you mumbled. Now that your boyfriend was up you could snuggle him as much as you like, and you did just that. Draco welcomed you in his embrace, shushing you and petting your head. “Scared.”

“I’m here sweetie, no need for that,” he whispered. His body was warm and soothing and you instantly felt at home. You hid your face in his neck, inhaling his intoxicating scent. You gripped him tighter as another loud rumble erupted from outside. Tears filled your eyes from the fright and the restlessness that’s been eating away at you. Draco lied back down, pulling the covers around your interlocked bodies and started rubbing your back in a calming manner. “Would you like me to distract you?”

You sniffled, rubbing your eyes dry on his shirt. “How?” you asked in a small voice. Draco pulled away but only slightly, just to look in your eyes and bring your lips together. You relaxed right away as his skilful tongue massaged yours. His mouth felt amazing on yours as always, but now he made sure to show his appreciation and passion. He grasped your waist as he went lower, sucking on your sweet spot the way you liked. After that, he coated the small part of the skin with a thin layer of saliva, his tongue delicate and teasing. You understood what he meant right away. A quiet moan escaped you, encouraging Draco to keep going. When he heard he ground his hips to meet yours, the outline of his semi-hard cock feeling delicious against your heat. You gripped his shoulders as his lips found yours again, deepening the kiss (if that was even possible). All the sensations were getting too hard to ignore now so you tried wiggling your lower body to get some friction that would ease the tension between your thighs, but when Draco realised what you were doing he let out a low chuckle. “Be patient, pumpkin. I’m not going anywhere.” He flipped you over to the mattress pressing your body into his and trapping you. The boy reached down, running a slim finger along the inside of your thigh, the act making you shudder and grow more excited than ever. He was still kissing you when he decided to tear off your underwear; he did it so effortlessly even without looking that you needed to tell him how good it felt. “Dray, merlin…”

“Shh,” Draco whispered, closing his eyes and positioning his firmness against you. The sweats he was wearing pleasantly rubbed against your sensitive clit sending waves of euphoria through your body. He wasn’t stopping - when he saw how much you liked what he was doing he started to apply more pressure, sometimes slowing down and drawing it out.

“Kissie,” you mewled. Even talking was getting difficult now as you thrashed your head from side to side in a submissive way from the overwhelming bliss. Draco was gripping your spread legs, now bringing them closer to your chest so he could lean in and plant a shower of kisses on your lips and jaw. “T-thank you…” After he pulled away he decided to go faster and make you moan out louder.

“Look how messy you are, pumpkin,” he looked down, the corner of his open mouth curling up at the sight that was in front of him. You followed his gaze and immediately blushed. The parts of the light material that were in contact with your cunt were incredibly wet and dark from your soaking pussy rubbing against them. “My baby likes when I play with her swollen little button, doesn’t she?” You felt your orgasm approaching from the dirty words he let out on top of you. Draco was nowhere near stopping. You didn’t know what he did but he might have changed the angle in which he was rutting against you because you could feel almost every inch of his rock hard length hitting your clit effortlessly. “Doesn’t she?” He gritted out when he heard you weren’t answering. He grabbed your neck harshly, demanding an answer. “Yes! Fuck, Draco, I love it so much,” you cried out hoping he heard you but at this point, you couldn’t focus on anything other than coming even if you wanted to. “Do you want me to fuck you pumpkin? Want me to fill your tight little hole right up?”

“YES!” you squeaked, your eyes still shut, fingers still holding his wrist around your neck. “P-please, Dray…”

“Your wish is my command,” he chuckled. Eventually, he slowed down and pulled away from you but not before drawing a long stripe on your bare cunt with his clothed cock. You whimpered at that, breathing heavy, arms reaching out for him. He took your hand in his and kissed your palm lovingly before taking off his sweatpants with one arm. You helped him by pulling off his t-shirt over his head, him now completely exposed in front of you. You didn’t even have time to take in his appearance as he flipped you over your stomach, but oh you so wanted to. You could only imagine how red and angry his cock must’ve been from the former stimulation. You wanted to see the tip dripping with pre-cum, slowly running down on his big shaft…

You were snapped out of your train of thought when he leaned on his right arm in front of your head, his chest to your smaller back. With his other hand, he guided his cock through your puffy folds, coating it in your juices. “You ready baby? Ready to be my good girl?”

“Y-your good girl,” you babbled. After a moment he pushed in and you moaned out at the pleasing feeling of him being inside you. The walls of your cunt were so snug around him he had to let out a groan of satisfaction. He threw his head back, left hand grasping your waist, mouth slightly open. “Fuck, so good f’me… Your pussy is taking me so well, darling…” After he made sure you adjusted to his size he started rocking in and out of you. Your face was pressed into the pillow, his scent heavy around you. When he picked up his pace you weren’t able to stop the moans and the pleas that fell from your mouth. The constant stimulation he was giving you was so heavenly, along with being so close to him made you crazy. Draco peppered small kisses into the crook of your neck - you could feel his hot breath, his heavy but short intakes of air and the muffled groans against your skin. “Feels good?” you bit your lip and nodded your head greedily. “Yeah? Use,” thrust. ‘Your,” thrust. “Words,” thrust. You urgently complied.

“Feels so good… no words to describe…”

“That’s it pumpkin, take all of me.” With one swift movement he pushed all in, filling you to the brim. You let him clutch your hair tightly, lifting your chest off of the bed and pulling your pyjama top up a little so he could have your tit in his strong hold, pinching your nipple. This made you realise how close you were to cumming around his cock - your body felt weightless, floating on a cloud as Draco kept mercilessly pumping in and out of you, now his tip grinding against your g-spot with every move. Your pussy clenched so hard it made Draco cry out, seemingly losing his self-control and fucking you with more and more force. “I can feel you, pumpkin. Let go for me, yeah? Let go…” He was licking the shell of your ear now, teeth biting the most sensitive part. Everything made sense for a moment - your walls fluttered around him and you felt that well-known feeling wash over you. You came with a loud moan of his name, fighting for air as a euphoric sensation possessed your body, making it shake with bliss. After some incoherent babbles (“Draco… Mhm… I love mmm you…”) you realised that your boyfriend was still relentlessly pounding into you chasing his own high. His moans became deeper and daresay sexier when he was close, and it was music to your ears. You let him use your holes as he pleased, although you didn’t have to spend much time with your oversensitive parts rubbing together because he shot his load in you only a few minutes after. The way his hot cum painted your insides made you groan in appreciation, thanking him in your head. You heard him panting, felt him biting down your shoulder and still grasping your boob as he collected his thoughts once again. When his body relaxed you felt him pull out, stroking your hair and wrapping his hands around your waist protectively while slumping back onto the bed.

“I love you so much, you did amazing for me pumpkin.” He kissed your temple, found your blanket and spread it over your bodies. You nuzzled closer to him, kissed him on the lips and fell into a deep sleep.

#smut #draco smut #draco x reader #draco malfoy #harry potter #golden era #golden era smut #dom!draco #draco malfoy smut #wizarding world #harry potter smut

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adorerdraco · 4 years

Text

Healing Heart ✧ Draco x Reader Mini-Series PART 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Summary: PART 5 ! of Draco accidentally falling in love with reader during his sixth year (HBP) and figuring out how to survive his new life while finding out a way to keep you in it.

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, torture, blood, death eater stuff - the usual !

Words: 7.8K

A/N: FINDING WAYS TO PROLONG THIS SERIES !!!! 😼 AND SORRY IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES ITS VERY LATE AND I NEVER CATCH THEM 😔 but omg my little week long hiatus I took was against my will but i’m back and healthy again and can finally think out sentences again lmao !!! also i DO own gif

Draco stared at the vast, dark marble ceiling as he lied awake. His black silk sheets were strewn across his king bed in a lofty heap from when he had woken up. There was a sheen layer of sweat across his skin, but his room held no warmth and the draft that was coming in from his open windows was nothing less than freezing.

There wasn’t a moment where he had enough peace to sleep, but when he ultimately did; he always regretted ever drifting off when he felt the hot, ravenous feeling that ran through his body when he would jolt awake from a nightmare with his heart thundering against him and the inability to differentiate reality from a subconscious image. He would lie back down, breathing unevenly, and fixate on a random crack in the ceiling and let his now very tortured conscience remind him, “it all happened, you can't escape it!”

And that little malicious voice in his head was right. The horrible images in his mind weren’t made up or conjured by his brain - they were very real and he had lived through them.

He remembered the agonizing decision he had to make when he left the love of his life, jinxed and in hysterics in an abandoned classroom. He remembered his Headmaster, who he had cornered and disarmed who still offered him genuine help and guidance despite the wand pointed in his face. He remembered his once-favorite Professor, kill his Headmaster who he thought for maybe a second would be able to help him. He remembered bounding down the steps of the astronomy tower, wanting to topple over and vomit while he followed closely behind a billowing cape and several sniggering and smug Death Eaters into the halls of the unsuspecting school. He remembered his aunt wreaking havoc on the Great Hall with pure joy as he could only watch in horror while she shattered the windows in her celebration. He remembered walking through a maze of trees in a dazed stupor towards Hagrid’s hut, Bellatrix giggling maniacally beside him as she skipped past him. He remembered seeing Harry run towards them, hurling any hexes and curses he could think of towards Snape while he scurried off. He remembered meeting his mother at the momentarily failing barrier, her hand wrapping tightly around his arm before she apparated them home. He remembered the cold wooden floors underneath him and the way the Manor’s structure seemed to be crashing down onto him as he tried to catch his breath and collect his thoughts.

When he would finish going over every mistake he had made that night, and every choice he could have made instead, he would turn over in his bed and stare out the large window in his room where he could see the cloudy night sky and the nature swinging around in the wind like it was in a constant state of what seemed like an approaching tornado. He would wonder about you, and what you were doing and what you thought of him. He wondered if you meant what you said - if you would truly never forgive him for leaving you there. He wondered if you thought it was him who killed Dumbledore and how you probably saw him as a killer now. He was in ceaseless disarray of wonder, a painful wonder that he couldn’t escape.

He didn’t dare try to owl you, especially with Bellatrix around the house as a very vigilant guard dog that noticed anything and everything. There were barely any opportunities in which he could leave the Manor, not by foot, by broom, or apparate. He was a prisoner in his own home, just as much as he was in his mind. The increasing amount of Death Eaters that came and went every day made him feel more unsettled than ever, all of them giving him intimidating and sneering looks as if he was a joke while they forcefully turned the Manor into their place of 'work'.

The day Lucius was released from Azkaban, Draco felt a slight hope that things would improve, that his father could somehow find a way to fix things for them as he always had and the young boy could finally step down from the responsibility he felt for his family. But what he saw in the foyer of his home wasn’t Lucius Malfoy; influential, formidable and feared by many - he saw a shell of a man who had lost all sense of who he was and had paid greatly for his failures. He recalled how his father had embraced him in a weak and shuddering hug, clinging onto him as a spew of desperate words incessantly flew from his mouth without making much sense.

He knew immediately then that his father couldn’t swoop in and fix all his problems, and his mother couldn’t be left alone in all this. He was stuck, whether he liked it or not, and he had to follow through on anything and everything the Dark Lord expected from him or wanted out of his family.

He hated the way his home was defiled with death and wickedness. He hated the way there were lifeless bodies littered around the living room sometimes. He hated the echoing cries and pleas of those who were locked up in the dungeon below. He hated seeing Voldermort use his home as his headquarters, pacing the room in a self-given majesty and humiliating his father every chance he could get. The only reason the Malfoys weren’t killed off yet was, in Draco’s opinion, to be used as an example of what happens when you fail the Dark Lord, to be used as malicious entertainment, and to see just how far someone could be tortured from the inside. Draco did mend the cabinet, but he didn’t kill Dumbledore or die trying as his master had desired. He was always visibly apprehensive of everything he had to do and every order he was given. He wasn’t willingly cruel or vile and hated the idea of actually hurting anyone. His father had failed every mission he was given, and his mother wasn’t a Death Eater, to begin with. They were just there, as pawns and as sadistic pleasure.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

It was subsequently, a rare day that the Manor was empty. No one was walking through the halls or running their mucky shoes on the expensive upholstery of the furniture as they relaxed into it. Even his father was out, along with Bellatrix, which left only him and his mother at home.

Narcissa Malfoy was just as arrogant as her husband, valued the pro-pure-blood ideals she grew up with, and always appeared to be very cold and haughty. Yet there was one thing that she valued above most; her family. She was entirely devoted to her son and husband and loved them profoundly. It was for Draco she worried for the most and would do anything for. It was for Draco she would risk everything for and go against the Dark Lord for.

So on the night she brought her son back home, and he was breaking down in her arms with cries about a girl she had never heard of - it piqued her curiosity more than she wanted to admit. She had asked Draco who you were a handful of times since that night, but he always refused to answer. She even went as far as asking Snape, pulling him aside one night behind a dark pillar in her home as everyone was leaving and whispered secretly to him.

“Severus, I know I’ve asked too much of you already but I need to know this,” she rushed to say in a very hushed and imperceptible tone but she knew he had heard her. He raised an eyebrow, looking at her quizzically.

“What might that be?”

“On the night Draco came home, he was calling out for someone,” she began, “do you know if he was involved with anyone by the name of Y/N?”

She could have sworn she saw a twinge of muscles move in his cheek, but he only shook his head shortly from side to side.

“I apologize, Narcissa, but I know no student by that name,” he sighed. “Draco spent most of his time mending the vanishing cabinet, I doubt he had time to be venturing out in his love life.”

She wanted to believe him. But she couldn’t brush off the intuition that was beating against her gut, nearly screaming at her that she was being lied to and there was more to the story. It’s not like she wanted the information to hurt you or to judge, she simply wanted to know who had broken through to her son during the year he was the most closed off. Who had impacted him so greatly, that now that it was seemingly over left him in shambles and withdrawn almost completely. If anything, she wanted to help. And if there was a possibility where she could, she would help Draco take it if it meant it would make his life easier. There was nothing more she wanted for him, free of pain and filled with hope, and if a certain individual would help her get him there - she would be willing to see it through.

With the opportunity of everyone gone, Narcissa trailed up to Draco’s room, letting her knuckles fall softly against the wooden double doors three times.

“Draco, dear, would you like to join me on a walk?”

She heard a shuffling from behind the door and a sharp sniffle, taking in a deep breath to prepare herself to see his poorly hidden tears that she knew she would be met with.

As she predicted, the doors opened and the blond stepped out of his room, lowering his red-rimmed eyes to the ground so he wouldn’t have to meet her worried gaze. He looked well-groomed as always, but she took notice that his skin seemed gray and dull. His eye bags were deep and nearly black from all his crying and lack of sleep. When she linked her arm through his, she felt the slight weight he had unwillingly lost in the past month that he’s been home. Her mind was spinning with concern, promising herself there that she was ready to do whatever she could for him, anything she could.

She led them out of their cold and darkened home, stepping out into the gardens that sat behind the Manor in a large vastness of gorgeous flower arrangements of whites, greens, and reds. There was a large marble fountain placed in the middle of the garden, spewing water smoothly from a small bowl that spilled into a larger one beneath it. It was boxed in with stone and surrounded with red amaryllis flowers, giving anyone enough space to sit around it without being splattered by droplets of water.

It was a gloomy day, but a warm afternoon sun had peaked through the clouds and cast a glowy light around the house that she hadn’t seen in ages. It made her feel hopeful as she walked her and Draco through the garden, thinking of ways on how to approach him. She knew he had shot her down and changed the subject every time she brought up your name, even if it was in privacy, and she pleaded to the stars that this would ultimately be the chance she would get to find out.

When they reached the fountain, she sat them down and watched as Draco slouched, silent and staring distantly at his shoes.

“Dear, I know you hate for me to bring this up,” she started slowly, shaking her head as she spoke, “but I want to know who she is. I want to be able to help you, and maybe even her. I know you’re in love, I see it in your eyes and I see it now that you’re apart. I know everything else certainly applies to how you’re feeling, but there’s a look for heartbreak, and you have it.”

Draco looked up at her, finally peering into her worried eyes as he contemplated what she said and what she offered. The last time he told someone about you, he was reprimanded and denied any sort of help, only suggestions for abandonment were given. He wanted to tell his mother all about you, but he wished it was under happier circumstances, however.

He wished it would be him coming home during the summer, no Voldermort or Death Eaters in his life or his family’s, and arriving with you by his side after sending an owl to his parents about the new love in his life he wanted them to meet. He would boast about you and your smarts, care, ambitions, and beauty. He would make sure his parents understood just how important you were to him and just how amazing you truly were. He imagined their inevitable surrender and allowing him to invite you on one of their luxurious trips to somewhere beautiful and expensive. He pictured a yacht ride in Italy, your skin glowing and your smile bright as you gazed at him in delight under a warm summer sun. Or a grandeur trip to France, walking around the Parisian streets with you as he spoiled you with gifts and delicious gourmet food while ending the night under the Eiffel Tower. He wanted to see you leave on shopping trips with his mother, the two of you coming back with heavy bags and new memories while his mother would walk by him and secretly whisper, “I love her!” to him. He wanted to flaunt you, and boast and gloat all about you - but the circumstances now were dreadful, and to talk about how he had failed you made him want to cry all over again.

His mother waited patiently for his reply, clasping her hands together in her lap as he stayed quiet while he decided. He was so used to sulking and torturing himself on his own in the past month, that seeing a genuine look of concern and desire to help pushed him into making his final resolve.

“I met her around the beginning of last year,” he breathed out finally, “her name is Y/N Y/L/N, we had a Potions class together but I met her in one of the corridors where we accidentally bumped into each other. I sprained a finger trying to catch myself and she healed it without a second thought. She wants to be a Healer at St. Mungo’s after Hogwarts, and she’s very skilled with her wand. She’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever met and the kindest. She always listened to me, and helped me, and encouraged me. She always reassured me when I needed it, and if it weren’t for her I don’t think I would have mended the cabinet or even had the energy to wake up every day. She stayed with me even when I told her the truth about everything. I’ve never met anyone who makes me feel the way she does, I can’t explain it, she makes me feel-”

“Alive?” His mother softly finished for him. “She makes you feel alive.”

“Yes,” he nods fervently, “I love her and I failed her. I don’t think there’s anything I can do now and neither can you.”

“I beg to differ,” she briskly interjects. “It’s never too late for anything, Draco. There’s always an opportunity to make things right, as long as you try. She at least deserves an explanation and an apology, and it will be up to her to decide what she wants to do. She sounds wonderful, and I’m glad you met someone who brings out your best.”

Draco agreed wordlessly, his tears sitting at the brink of his eyelids begging to be released as he mulled over everything that was said. He knew where you lived, having learned the fact somewhere in your relationship when you were talking about your childhood and where you were from. He knew the place you called home and the address that came with it that you constantly reminded him of in hopeful jokes that he would visit you over the summer.

“There’s no one here, no one would know you’re gone,” Narcissa encourages swiftly as if she knew what he was thinking about. “It’ll be a few hours before anyone returns. Go to her.”

“But if I become involved with her again, he’ll find out, won’t he?” He insinuates in distress. “The reason I left her was to keep her safe from him, I don’t want her anywhere near this.”

“He won’t find out,” she promised, “I’ll make sure of it. Go.”

There was a hopeful and elating sensation that ran through his veins as he stood up, turning back to look at his mother as she nodded at him optimistically. He suddenly lunged towards her, giving her a tight hug and muttering thank you’s to her like a broken record before running out of the garden towards the front gate of the Manor.

As soon as he reached his exit, he used his newfound Death Eater ability to half-apparate himself into a thick black cloud of smoke that allowed him to fly over to where you were - not giving a care in the world if he were seen by muggles as he recklessly took every shortcut he knew towards your hometown.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

There was a slight breeze in the cloudy air that brought you comfort. It was cold, but refreshing - a sharp contrast against the burning feeling that never seemed to leave your body. You were back home now, in your small little town in England that held little to no wizards.

You spent a lot of your time wandering around the local stores and cafes nearby, mingling with strangers as you told them fake life stories for fun. There was also the small forest behind your house you regularly enjoyed, and all the small hidden creatures that you encountered along the way. You always brought along your family cat, the chunky orange tabby always finding his way for you outside of the forest when you got too far in, or if he sensed there was nearby danger and would warn you. Sometimes you would talk to him, complain to him about everything that was bothering you and he would respond to you now and then with broken meows and chirps that made you feel like he understood, even though he didn’t. It made you feel less alone.

Of course, you had your family that worried over your changed behaviors. They weren’t oblivious. They noticed the puffy eyes, the sniffles, and the quiet sobs that escaped under the space of your bedroom door when they would pass by in the middle of the night to get a glass of water from the kitchen. They noticed your sudden quietness, and your lack of interest in everything and hardly found you in the house. You were always out and about, trying to find anything and anyone to distract yourself from what was going on in your mind.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk to your family, even though they had incessantly offered their support, you just knew they wouldn’t understand. They would want to know about Draco, his family, and their beliefs. They would eventually figure out of his involvement with the Dark Lord and the looming second Wizarding war. They wouldn’t approve, and you didn’t want to hear the scolding you would get for ever giving him the time of day. You were bitter enough as it was, and the last thing you wanted to hear was how bad Draco was and how you were better off without him.

But even if you were supposed to be better off without him, a life where he wasn’t in it didn’t feel good at all. It felt empty and lost. You were used to his presence always being around you and how he was always a few minutes away from you. He was always available to you for anything and willingly; for company, affection, comfort, reassurance, love, everything. You hated the fact that you let yourself get attached, especially when you knew deep down the direction the relationship was going in.

There were days when you would wake up okay. Days where your mind blocked out your feelings entirely, including Draco and all the memories that came with him. There were days when you felt like you had finally forced yourself to move on, but always finding it to wear off when you’d clamber into bed at night and your brain started illustrating everything you didn’t want to remember. The silver band bracelet he had gifted you was in constant movement from your wrist and jewelry box, hidden on the days you wanted to forget him or sitting pretty on your skin on the days you missed him the most. As much as it hurt to think about him and remember him, you couldn’t stop the way your whole being drifted towards him.

You were currently stepping over a big fallen tree trunk covered in thick green moss, your cat following closely by your leg as he pranced and jumped over all his obstacles. You walked mindlessly around the greenery, not taking notice in the shape of the leaves of the fern you were placing your hand upon to move out of your way. It wasn’t until you felt the sharpened ends of the leaves dig deep into your skin that made you recoil your hand back in pain, a slight hiss leaving your mouth as a small gash began to form with blood flowing quickly upwards out of the new cut. Your hand was held in the air as you frantically looked around for anything that would stop the bleeding that was now dripping sleekly down your arm.

“Stupid ministry and underage magic,” you mutter under your breath. Your wand was in your pocket, begging to be used, but the idea of being sent a letter from the ministry that was now under the Voldermort's control quickly dispersed any desire you had to use it. “Come on, kitty. Let’s go back home, please.”

'Home' was a word the cat did understand. He bumped your leg with his head before meowing loudly at you as he began trotting off to your right side towards the exit of the forest. He moved stealthily, dodging in and out of everything that was in his path as you attempted to follow in his cleared steps. Every time you would trip or rest briefly, he would stop ahead of you and wait until you would walk towards him again before he started back on the journey.

When you finally saw your house in the distance, you sighed in relief at the thought of your first aid kit waiting patiently for you in the bathroom cupboard. And belatedly, your feet hit the stone path that led home, skipping slightly with your hand in the air before nearly toppling over your cat as he stopped abruptly in your path. You moved out of the way, last minute, and very clumsily before eyeing him suspiciously.

He was looking up at the sky, his ears pulled back and the fur on his back straightening up as his eyes frantically searched around the clouds above him. He wasn’t hissing like he normally did when he felt something dangerous coming, he looked more confused and alert than anything. You searched the sky with him for a minute before concluding he was being too wary so you bent down and pick him up with your uninjured hand, nearly scooping him into your arms until he carefully swiped at your arm.

“You’re being dramatic, there’s nothing there,” you exclaim at him irritably. You were stumped, on one hand, literally, you were still bleeding though it had significantly slowed down and was now just coagulated blood, and on the other hand, you couldn’t leave the cat outside because of the number of dead critters he left in his past outdoor ventures around the yard and his sometimes week-long disappearances that left everyone in the house worried.

In just a few seconds of your thinking, he had sprung forward and rushed towards the large open field that was a few feet away from your house. Although it was summer, it had been rainy and allowed the grassy field to flourish in tall and wild greenery. This did not help as you watched the fluff of orange disappear into the small jungle that lied ahead and you began to sprint after him, spotting his bushy tail in your vision every time he jumped over something. If you could use magic, this little ordeal would have gone much more different - but you couldn’t.

You chased him until the very near end of the field, spotting him sitting calmly as he looked back at you as if he was expecting you. Rolling your eyes, you reached towards him again to pick him up, if he wanted to go back to the house scratching and biting then so be it. You trained your gaze on him, trying your best to grab him as carefully and as slyly as you could. But as soon as your hand landed on the silky fur of his back, you heard a soft whooshing sound a few feet away in front of you and a very audible shuffle of dead grass crunching underneath someone's shoes as they moved slowly.

You didn’t look up, all of a sudden feeling scared at who could have magically appeared in front of you, and instead, you waited for your cat to hiss and attack, but he sat himself down in a loaf as if he were in the most comfortable place in existence. This is when you looked up, and the sight before you was like an invisible force that knocked you onto your bottom as you jumped back in surprise.

“What are you doing here?”

What was supposed to sound like a concerned question, came out a little ruder than you had intended, almost seething at the boy that was fearfully staring down at you.

“I’m sorry,” Draco ran his hands over his pallid face in distress, “I shouldn’t have come.”

There was an awkwardness that hung in the air. The two of you were finally where you had wanted to be, together, but now that you were face-to-face it couldn’t have been more perplexing. He didn’t know how to begin, and you weren’t sure if you should even listen to him. It was like a weird staring competition, he was taking in everything about you as you were doing the same to him. It was obvious you were both a wreck, and the damage was apparent on him the most as he was dealing with his Death Eater status now more than ever.

“Your hand is bleeding,” he stated suddenly. You didn’t have time to answer before he had cautiously walked over to you and sat down beside you in a flattened patch of grass. “Let me see it.”

Like magnets, your hand instantly fell into his cold grasp without you thinking about it. You eyed him carefully and quietly, observing him as he turned your injured hand over in his and inspected your gash like you had done many times in the past for him. You didn’t stop him when he took his wand out of his pocket and waved it over your wound, murmuring a familiar spell that closed the cut with ease, a small pink scar left in its place.

“I didn’t know you knew how to do that,” you say lightly. “Thank you.”

“I learned from the best,” he smiles faintly.

Neither of you moved from your sitting spots, and neither of you said anything. He would meet your eyes now and then and search them with such a pained expression that it took everything in you not to just throw yourself into his arms and cry in relief that he was there.

“I know it was Snape who killed Dumbledore and not you,” you break the silence apprehensively. “Harry told me.”

“Potter told you?” He grimaced, but he let out a breath of relief. “I would’ve thought the git would have loved to throw me under the bus. I didn’t even know he was there, then I see him chasing us down-”

“Draco, why are you here?” You asked him again, gingerly this time and cutting him off from his rambling in hopes that he would just cut to the chase on his unannounced appearance. He sighed, looking down at his now muddy, once expensive dress shoes.

“I needed to see you,” he answers honestly. “And I wanted to apologize for how I left things.”

You peered up at him with a raised eyebrow, bringing your knees up to your chest so you could rest your head against them as you faced him. “Let’s hear it.”

“I’m serious,” he frowned. “I’m sorry I used my wand against you. I’m sorry I shut you out. I’m sorry I left without giving you much of an explanation. I’m sorry I abandoned you and disappeared off the face of the Earth. I’m sorry I broke my promise that I would never leave you again.”

“Draco-”

“No, wait, I need you to understand that I thought leaving you was the only thing that would keep you safe. I would have never forgiven myself if I let you die for trying to help me, even if you say you’re ready to accept whatever fate is in store for you, I’m not. But I don’t want to run anymore, I don’t want to be away from you, I can’t do it and I always think I can let you go for your safety, but I can’t.”

There was a brief period of stillness as you contemplated his apology. Your head moved to fall in between your knees as your hands began to fiddle with the long strands of grass beneath you. You were stripping it and pulling at it, hoping that there would be a hidden message underneath the earth that would give you an answer on what to say or what to do, but it wasn’t possible. The only thing you found was the loose pitiful tears slipping down your face that seeped into spots of dry soil. Draco stayed wordless beside you, the only sound coming from him was uneven breaths as he stressed over your reaction.

You were caught in between wanting to give in, wanting to forgive him, and hug him and kiss him to make up for all the tortuous time lost, but there was also a part of you that was now afraid to trust. You wanted to, so badly, but everything felt so unpredictable. You weren’t sure whether you could handle him leaving again if he had to. And if he were to die at the end of all of this? There was no way you’d be able to recover from a loss like that. He was on an unforeseeable path that held no clear outcome.

“I’m scared, Dray,” you sniffle, closing your eyes tightly as you began to answer him. “We’re not kids anymore fooling around at school. Everything is getting more real by the day. How am I supposed to be comfortable with the idea that you might-”

You stopped yourself from finishing, a soft sob escaping your throat at the near mention of his possible death. You felt him scoot closer to you, stopping about a few inches away from your shuddering body as he placed a reassuring hand on your lower back.

“You say you can’t accept the decision I made when I said I’m ready for whatever fate lies ahead of me,” you mumble miserably. “Well, I can’t accept yours either.”

“I won’t make any more promises I can’t keep,” he starts warily, “but I can promise you that as long as I’m around, I won’t let anyone hurt you, ever. And as far as my future goes, I promise that I’ll do everything and anything I can to survive this.”

You had unhooked your arms from around your legs, bringing them underneath you as you sat yourself up to face him better. He was staring at you intently, hopeful gray eyes boring into yours with every emotion under the sun flashing through them. He didn’t show it, but he felt like at any moment he was going to faint. He had never seen such uncertainty on your face and it killed him, but he tried to remain stoic as he spoke and kept a brave face at every concern you had. He couldn’t guarantee you anything that lied ahead, but there was also nothing he wouldn’t do for you now.

“Okay,” you agree, finally giving him the consolation he had been woefully praying for. “I believe you, we can get through this together.”

There wasn’t another second spared before you speedily moved out of your sitting position to pounce him with a tight and suffocating hug. It was desperate and smothering, his arms wrapped tightly around your lower back as he pressed you deeply into his body as if you were going to disappear any second.

You didn’t care that you could barely breathe against his chest or that your knee was digging into the mud below you. It was the most relieving feeling in the world, finally being in his arms again with new hopes and possibilities that always found a way to present themselves. It was one of the many reasons that you knew he was the one for you. Everything with him felt easy, even if the world was crashing down around you. He could melt away all your pain and worries with one look, touch, or words. He felt like home and heaven all in one.

It came to you in the middle of your longing hug, that there was always going to be something looming over the two of you in the current state that the wizarding world was in. There’s no point in wasting time when everything could change overnight, just as it had that unforsaken day at Hogwarts before you were dragged home the next day. There was no reason for trying to stay away from him when it was everything you wanted and you knew then that you needed to take advantage of whatever time you had left with him.

“I'm sorry for saying I would never forgive you that night,” you murmur into the crook of his neck. “And for being stubborn.”

“You had all the right to be angry with me,” he laments.

“But it didn’t make it okay,” you nuzzle yourself deeper in his embrace, frowning to yourself as you recalled the night.

He looked down at you, a pang of guilt hitting him when he saw the corners of your lips pulled down in sadness. He leaned down and carefully placed a kiss on your temple, lingering for a bit before moving away and muttering, “nothing about that night was okay.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

There wasn’t an inkling of an idea how long the two of you were sat outside, holding on tightly to each other as you filled each other in on any news that happened in the last month since you’ve seen each other. The only indication that let the two of you know that time had surely passed was that the sun had begun setting behind the valley in the distance. The moon now had a faint appearance in the purplish evening sky that was for the first time in a while, free of the heavy cloud covers.

You listened attentively as he told you about the Manor and how it was being used as a Death Eater meeting place. He told you about his father being released from Azkaban as a treat for the Malfoy’s since he had fixed the cabinet and disarmed Dumbledore for Snape to finish, unknowing to him that he would. He explained to you how ghostly he felt when he was venturing out of the school that night. He even scarcely described the horror that had gone on in the dead of night, when victims had been brought back to the house for ‘interrogations’ and the way their screams would keep him wide awake for days.

You nearly felt sick to your stomach the longer he went on, empathizing with him delicately when he would sometimes stop talking to take a deep painful shaky breath. The guilt that was eating away at him wasn’t hidden or pushed down, he expressed it very obviously and you couldn’t picture how he managed to hold a straight face in the sea of terrors he had encountered.

“You’re nothing like them,” you whispered tenderly to him when you saw the distant broken look that clouded his eyes. “You are good, Draco. Not once have I ever changed my mind about that.”

He was slipping, far and fast into the depths of his despair. His new life away from school was eating away at him now that he was forced to experience it upfront. He wasn’t cut out for it, nor did he want anything to do with it. It physically pained you that there was nothing you could do except offer him what you’ve always been able to provide; a listening ear and to remind him that he’s not the evil monster he deludes himself to be.

“I don’t want to talk about me anymore,” he mumbled gloomily, taking your hand into his as he turned to look at you. “I want to hear about you and your summer.”

“It wasn’t pleasant or anything, honestly,” you shrug, “I spent most of it in the village nearby and the forest behind my house with my cat, who by the way knew you were coming somehow.”

You both suddenly turned to look for the orange tabby who had seemingly disappeared without either of you noticing sometime throughout the evening.

“Where is the little critter so I can thank him for leading you to me,” he chuckled softly as you rolled your eyes.

“He’s probably back at home now but I’ll pass the message,” you bite back a smirk.

Draco felt the familiar fluttering of pixies in his stomach as he looked at you, a sense of exhilaration and delight shocking his body from its usual anguished state. He was so far gone in you and he never wanted to leave the feelings you left him with and with such little effort. He couldn’t count how many times he had the same thought in his head when he was around you, much like your own, he knew with you was where he was at his calmest and his happiest. It was like a chunk of agony being released from him that made him feel like he could breathe again without feeling like he was going to drown. Even if it was just for a few hours, he was always grateful for moments he shared with you and the comfort you brought him.

“I love you,” he said dazed, eyes locking onto yours intimately. “I hope you know that.”

"I love you,” you repeated, a coy smile making its way onto your features.

“You know,” his thumb began mindlessly running over your knuckles as he spoke, “if it wasn’t for my mother knocking some sense into me earlier, I wouldn’t have had the great idea to show up here.”

He looked over at you when he felt you tense up completely, slightly worried at first before a small amusement quickly replaced his fear when he noticed you were gaping at him with wide wondrous eyes.

“You told her about me?”

“All about you,” he nods, “I accidentally let your name slip a while back and she’s been asking me about you ever since. I didn’t want to say anything in case someone heard, but everyone was gone today and she got it out of me.”

“What did she say about me?” You asked him timidly as if it was the most important thing in the world for you.

He chortled quietly at your nervousness, “she said she thinks you’re wonderful and she’s glad we met. She pushed me to come and make things right with you and she offered to look out for us.”

There was an intense delight that beat against your chest at his answer. The only other person in his life who’s opinion he valued the most above all had made one about you, and it was one that was better than anything you could have ever hoped for. Narcissa Malfoy had vouched for you before she’s even properly met you and it left you feeling astounded and beyond appreciative.

“When you get home, please send her my regards,” you plead heartily, your hands clutching onto the lapels of his suit jacket as he laughed lightly.

“I will, I will,” he smiles, “I have to be home soon, so she’ll hear about it within the next half hour.”

Draco pulled you up with him as he stood up, both of you finally stretching out your limbs with groans and sighs of relief from the tension of sitting for so long.

As you peered up at him, you let your hands slide up into the platinum blond strands that looked brighter than ever under the now bright moonlight. He placed a hand over one of your wrists, a smile growing on his face as he noticed the silver band sitting warmly against your skin. He leaned forward to press his forehead against yours, letting himself stay there for a minute as he tried to revel in the last few moments of peace he was going to try and prolong for the rest of his night.

“I’ll be back soon,” he cupped your cheek with one hand, his thumb grazed delicately over your cheekbone as you leaned into his touch. “Right back with you.”

“I’ll be waiting, Malfoy,” you grin.

For the first time that night, he ducked down and pressed his lips soft against yours. The gentleness quickly dissipated into longing and fervor as he kissed you like it was the last thing he was ever going to do, seeking the closeness and union he missed so desperately. Neither of you made any move to pull apart as you melted into each other, basking completely in the feeling of being so close to one another like this again.

If it wasn’t for you worrying about his timely arrival back home before everyone, you would have allowed him to keep you like that forever. But much to your dismay, you tapped him lightly against his chest that let him know it was really time for him to leave if he wanted to keep his secret trip, secret.

You stood there sadly, watching him as he unwillingly backed away from you and whispered one more goodbye to you before he disappeared into the sky in a ghost of black smoke, the aroma of his cologne still lingering in the air and a swollen feeling against your lips that left you feeling fuzzy.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The Malfoy Manor was staring eerily back at Draco when he finally arrived back in front of the main gate of the home. It was deathly quiet and dark, only a small light could be seen from the living room as he approached further into the property.

He swiftly ran up the steps, hand falling carefully onto the brass doorknob of the front entrance, stopping in his tracks completely when he heard a mixture of hushed angry voices.

“I told you, Bella,” he heard his mother exclaim fiercely. “He only went out to clear his head.”

“Clear his head of what?” his aunt sneered. “He’s falling weak, Cissy. He should be running around in joy that the Dark Lord has him in his inner circle.”

“My son is not weak, don’t you think this can all be a little overwhelming for someone who hasn’t even finished his schooling?” His mother defended him and he could picture the exact sneer on her face as she spoke.

“I want to know where he went,” Bellatrix says hotly, “he’s been gone too long.”

Draco ran through a list of excuses in his head, swallowing back the lump in his throat when he decided on one and put on a straight face as he turned the doorknob, cautiously stepping into the dimly lit living room where both his parents and aunt were waiting for him.

“Ah, there he is,” his father announced as he was the first one to see the boy clambering inside.

“I’m sorry I went off for so long,” Draco spoke up before anyone could ask. “I remember someone mentioning they had spotted Potter around a village nearby so I tried to go look for him.”

“Did you?” Bellatrix chastised. “And nothing?”

“Nothing,” he shrugged with a feigned annoyance.

“And you were alone?” She added with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, all by myself.”

Narcissa gave her sister a pointed look as she walked up to Draco, hand gripping tightly onto his arm before leading him away from the surprise interrogation and towards the foot of the stairs where she stopped him hastily.

“How did it go?” She asked almost inaudibly.

“Y/N sends her regards,” he whispered, “thank you.”

He gave his mother a warm hug good night before he hurriedly bounded up the stairs, looking down towards the living room once more where Bellatrix was eyeing him carefully. He decided on giving her a curt nod before vanishing into his bedroom and letting himself fall against the shut double doors, a large exhale of relief slipping past his lips as he was now safe to freely recall the night with a dazed smile he didn’t want to let go of.

PART 6

TAGLIST:

@viirgobbyy @bluesunflowersz @dreamyvcid @goddessofgames @natt-nih @cheesecakes-randomshitz @supersouthy @rebellionsarebuiltonhopee @peter-parka @thefandomplace @angelofslytherin @karentheugly @thebirdskeeponsinging @rubbyy420 @bimyoux @lovely-valllll @angstywhore @moose-squirrel-asstiel @lordfxxker @dommiefinch @johannalauraaa @aestheticallymarauderss @mrs-isabela-malfoy @dogglefoggle @ba-responds @1tristful1

APOLOGIES IF I FORGOT ANYONEEE 🥺 BUT I REALLY HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER EVEN THO IT WASNT TOOO EVENTFUL ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I GOT ACTION FOR THE NEXT PIECES THO JUST WAITTTT

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hxt1b · 3 years

Text

Isn’t It Lovely All Alone

Masterlist

If would like to send a request please take a look at my Prompt List, I have a list of ideas that you could use if you’d like whilst sending in the request.

Yuta x Reader (Some Doyoung x Reader)

Genre: Angst, CollegeAU (HockeyPlayer!Yuta)

Warning: MATURE/DARK CONTENT. Mentions of drunk driving, death, swearing, cheating, (by NO means do I condone cheating, this is a story based around fictional events so please in the real world don’t do this.) Mental Health. SMUT. (Unprotected drunk sex, use a condom dudes seriously.)

WC: 9.9k

Accompanying Story: As Long as I’m Here

A/N: Please excuse the grammar, I read it over but still some things may have slipped through. The accompanying story is not something that you have to read, this can be read as a standalone. However, if you guys do want to read it, I’d recommend reading it first. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope you guys enjoyed it! P.S. If you do read this without reading As Long as I’m Here, Taeyong’s girlfriend is unnamed due to her being the main character of the other short story. P.P.S. As I wrote this, I realized it was getting very long and I still had a lot to get through, so I decided to split it into two parts. So please be patient I will have the second part up soon, and I really hope you guys enjoy this part. PLEASE let me know what you guys think feedback is much appreciated!

Part One. Part Two.

Her breathing was laboured, her eyes closed shut as he moved his hips against hers, his cock throbbing as her walls clenched around him. His breathing mirrored hers. She was a sight to be seen underneath him, her hair fanned out on his pillow as she moaned his name.

“Baby,” He moaned as his thrusts became more erratic. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

“Look at me Yuta.” Her voice even, the pleasure gone from it, her moans faded, confused he opened his eyes and looked down at her. Her eyes were red, a huge cut on her forehead oozing blood into her eyes, more blood poured out her mouth onto his white sheets. He struggled to move out of her as she wrapped her cold arms around him and pulled him down to decaying skin,

“Look at what you did to me.”

Yuta sat up abruptly in his bed, quickly moving off of it as his breathing staggered, he moved his hand to his throat looking down at his bed only to see clean white sheets. His breathing only worsened as his brain reeled from the nightmare, it’s not your fault Taeyong’s voice said, but Yuta pushed it to the back of his head. You couldn’t have known that that was going to happen man. That was Johnny. He pushed both voices out of his head his hands shaking as his eyes blurred. He was going to puke, charging out his room he slammed into the shared bathroom door before hunching over the toilet and letting out the contents of his stomach.

That’s what they thought because Yuta didn’t have it in him to tell them the truth, he knew that the moment he told them the reassuring words would stop and they would see him for the monster that he was. They would see him as the guy that let the girl die.

“Hey, Yuta, are you okay?” It was Taeyong’s girlfriend. Her concern blatantly showing on her face, but he didn’t deserve her concern or her kindness. She would hate him the most if she knew the truth seeing as she was Ara’s best friend. The same Ara that was dead. His stomach turned again, and he puked again. His throat burning, his mind suffocating from the pain that he was feeling. I deserve it.

He couldn’t look at her, he didn’t want him to see her face, his face was wet from sweat and the tears that had flown down his face. Kicking the door closed towards her he didn’t say anything. The act was enough to let her know to leave him alone. He stayed on the floor pulling his knees up to his chest as he tried to calm down his breathing. Yuta ignored her as she knocked on the door again.

“Just go away.” He finally said to her, his voice rough. “You’re the last person I want to see right now.” He didn’t have anything against her, he just couldn’t stand being around her she served as a constant reminder, in the beginning, he’d lied to himself and believed the boys when they told him that it wasn’t his fault but the more time she was around the more time he spent with her the more Ara came back to his head, the more that night haunted him. Now she was always around, and he couldn’t stand it. He felt like he was drowning in his head, he needed to get out. He needed to go to a place where she was not, but for now, the bathroom was enough.

He listened as her footsteps retreated, minutes later heavier footsteps came towards the bathroom. Yuta moved to flush the toilet and stand up as Taeyong got to the door of the bathroom.

“Yuta?” His voice was soft like he was talking to a toddler, “You good man?” He asked. Turning on the faucet Yuta stared at his red and splotchy face, he quickly closed his eyes and looked down plunging his hands under the cold water. He couldn’t stand to see his face.

“Yeah man, I just drank too much last night.” Another lie flowing past his lips as he bent down to splash the water in his face. Before grabbing for his toothpaste.

“Do you need anything?” Taeyong’s voice was full of the same concern that his girlfriend had. Yuta’s head spun they wouldn’t be this concerned if they knew why he was in this state.

“No, I’ll be fine.”

He didn’t sleep after that afraid of what he’d see if he closed his eyes. Four hours later the sun rose allowing Yuta to make his way to the rink for practice. Last night’s game hadn’t gone well for them, it was their third loss of the season and their coach was pissed. Yuta smiled at the fact that today’s practice would be gruelling, it would help him numb his brain from the thoughts that invaded his mind. He wouldn’t be able to see past the tiring pain of the training their coach would outline for them.

He arrived at the rink just as Doyoung and Jaehyun did. The younger boys welcoming him as they walked into the arena.

“You didn’t come with the captain and Johnny today?” Jaehyun asked, Yuta shook his head.

“Nah the Captain was a little preoccupied with his girlfriend and Johnny wasn’t awake yet.”

Both the boys nodded, and they walked into the arena silently, Doyoung letting out yawn after yawn as they got to the locker room.

“Did you not get enough sleep?” Yuta asked him, and Jaehyun snickered.

“His girlfriend doesn’t let him sleep.” Yuta chuckled at the younger boy as well as he let out another yawn following which his face turned a deep shade of red.

Yuta got dressed in silence after that, as the younger two joked with each other. The practice would run two hours from five to seven leaving the boys that had an eight-thirty class just enough time to shower and head to their classes.

The scent of the fresh ice helped Yuta to keep his mind centred as he got into his gear focusing very hard on every task he had before heading out to the ice.

An hour into the practice Yuta’s head was spinning, he was slower than everyone else and though his brain felt calm on the rink his body wasn’t keeping up with him. He coughed harshly as he slammed into the side to grab his water from the bench.

“You’re slacking today Nakamoto.” His coach barked at him. He didn’t respond as he swished the water around his mouth, just chucked the bottle back at the bench before going back skating back to where everyone else was in standing in a line.

“You okay dude?” Johnny asked from his left.

“Yeah.”

“Apparently he’s just hungover,” Taeyong said from his right, Yuta could hear the sneer in Taeyong’s voice. Luckily the coach blew the whistle before Yuta could say anything and the line of Hockey players took off down the rink towards the first line before skating back to the start. Yuta kept up for the most part but his heart was pounding in his ears and he was feeling faint. The practice finished off with him skating off the rink behind everyone else.

“Dude, are you actually drinking on a Thursday night?” Johnny asked him as they walked over to their cubbies to rid themselves of their gear before taking a shower.

Yuta didn’t get a chance to reply before Taeyong scoffed from his side.

“He was puking his guts out at two in the morning.” Yuta rolled his eyes and kept his mouth shut.

“Where the fuck did you drink?” Johnny asked again, his voice low not wanted the others to hear him.

“My room.” Yuta lied.

“You’re drinking alone in your room?” His voice was full of judgement. Yuta shrugged and walked away from them heading towards the showers. It was easier to let them think he was just being an idiot that drank on weekdays then to let them know what was actually happening in his head.

---

You fucked up; you left your entire bag in Doyoung’s car. Pulling on your jacket over one of Doyoung’s hoodies you forced yourself to run to campus. You had a meeting at eight with your group mates and needed your bag for it, seeing as all your work was in it. It was already seven you only had an hour to get your stuff and get ready in your dorm. You’d told Doyoung to wake you up and take to campus with him when he’d be going to practice, but you’d only been asleep for three hours before he was up again shaking you, and you just didn’t have it in yourself to get up. Now here you were suffering in the cold November air as you jogged your way to the arena. Lucky for you it wasn’t too far but it was still torturous. One, you didn’t run or partake in any physical activity at that, and two, it was cold as shit you could feel your nose start to run. Huffing out clouds of air you made it to the arena, slamming through the front doors and into the warmth of the heated entrance, you put your hands on your knees and took in large breaths to normalize your breathing. You needed his keys, checking the time on your phone you realized he was probably in the shower he had an eight-thirty as well, but you couldn’t wait for him to come out you needed your bag now so that you could get into your dorm and get ready and be at your meeting.

Taking in a large breath you charged towards the direction of the men’s locker room. Bracing yourself before you became too embarrassed to do what you were about to you slammed your hand into the door as stumbled your way in. Looking around you came to face boys in different degrees of dress in their practice gear.

“Y/N?” Jaehyun squeaked looking at you naked from the top half.

“Where is Doyoung?” You asked as the boy rounded the corner.

“Babe what are you doing here?” he asked crowding into your space towards the door.

“I need your keys I need to grab my bag.” He nodded his head not asking any questions. He quickly made his way to his cubby and back to you shoving the keys into your palm.

“Keep them with you I’ll see you after my first class.” He pressed a kiss to your lips before pushing you out the door. You didn’t have time to react to what he said or what he did you just booked it to his car.

---

Yuta was stuck in his spot staring at the door Doyoung had just pushed you through, he was shocked, that was Doyoung’s girlfriend. Yuta shook his head, he didn’t mean anything rude by it, actually, he didn’t know what he meant by it he just knew that he was amused by what had just happened.

He saw you again at lunch, you were in a black turtleneck that clung to your skin and was tucked into a pair of ripped jeans, you had subtle makeup on your face and your hair was curled. You looked amazing. Yuta was stuck staring until Johnny slammed his bottle onto the table dramatically turning everyone’s attention towards him as he slammed his ass into the chair next to Yuta’s.

“I fucking hate History man, why the fuck do I need to know what some old fuck did in 1718.” He grumbled.

Taeyong laughed at him, “Told you not to take History as your elective.”

“I thought it would be easy.” The table laughed.

“You thought remembering an insane amount of dates and the names of dead guys was going to be easy?” You asked from across the table as you stole food from Doyoung’s tray. Yuta’s eyes followed your hand as you put the French Fry into your mouth, your white teeth biting down on it. Yuta held his breath as you chewed. Doyoung chuckled at you as you took more fries from his plate. Yuta watched from his side of the table.

“Dude you’re staring,” Jungwoo said shoving his elbow into Yuta’s side. Yuta roughly swallowed before turning his gaze to Jungwoo. He was staring he realized. His hands flew to his water quickly opening the cap before chugging half of it. Why was he staring at you? He had no clue who you were, today was the first time he’d seen you ever and he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off you.

“Who is she?” Yuta asked Jungwoo.

“Y/N. Doyoung’s girlfriend.” Jungwoo answered through a mouthful of food. Yuta scowled at the first year as food flew out of his mouth.

“How long have then been dating, how come I haven’t seen her before?” Yuta asked.

“They’ve been dating for about six months, she transferred here this semester.” Yuta nodded, it made sense why he’d never seen you before, the semester had only started three weeks ago and lately, he was so in his head that he missed everything.

“So, you guys still throwing that party at your house today?” Johnny asked Jaehyun, the latter nodded his head shoving food into his mouth.

Doyoung answered for him, “Yeah we are, come help set up please?” Yuta took the opportunity to watch you as you tapped away at your phone.

“Sure, Yuta and I will come by at seven.” Yuta snapped his head to Johnny who was avoiding looking at him.

“Yeah, we’ll be there.” He said, going along with what Johnny had said.

Johnny dragged him out of his room at six-thirty throwing the keys at him as they got to his car.

“Your gonna DD today my dude.” Yuta stared at the keys in his hand then up at Johnny’s car.

“With your baby?” He asked shocked. Johnny didn’t let anyone else touch his car.

Johnny sighed but nodded.

“Yes, I trust you.” Excited Yuta rounded the car and got into the driver’s seat of the black Mustang, it could seat five uncomfortably and only had two doors and was ass to dd in but damn if Yuta passed up the offer to drive the magnificent beast that was Johnny’s car. Shifting the gear as Johnny fastened his seat belt Yuta ripped out of the drive, the engine letting out a roar as he bolted down the street towards the younger boy's rented house.

Yuta knew why Johnny was letting him dd with his car. He didn’t want him to drink, turning left down the boy’s street Yuta laughed letting his foot push the accelerator as he went faster, but the thing was Yuta hadn’t drank for months now. Not since that night. Typically, he just grabbed a beer and lugged it around not taking a sip everyone around him was usually drunk enough to even notice that he wasn’t.

Pulling into the driveway he placed the car in park, “That was fucking awesome.” He smiled over at Johnny who laughed back at him.

“Have fun, today buddy, just don’t get pulled over,” Johnny replied as he got out of the car. Yuta sat in the car for a second longer talking in the smell of the mustang before he got out himself and followed Johnny into the house.

Johnny didn’t knock he just barged in, so Yuta followed him. Yuta regretted it the moment he saw the scene in the living room, his eyes landing on your bare back as Doyoung trailed his hand up to your head. Doyoung kissing the life out of you on the living room couch.

“Holy, you guys don’t have a room?” Johnny asked a loud laugh following his words. Doyoung abruptly pulled away from you as you dug your head into his neck. Doyoung scrambled to grab the blanket beside him to cover you. Yuta turned his eyes away, the laughter not coming to him. He forced a smile to his face and kept his face turned away from Doyoung and you.

“You guys are early,” Doyoung stated pulling you into him. Johnny only laughed in turn.

“We’ll wait in the kitchen then.”

Yuta followed behind Johnny to the kitchen his head muddled. He was confused and irritated, why was he so affected by you hell he literally saw you for the first time this morning and he knew you were Doyoung’s girlfriend so why was he pissed. He hadn’t even spoken to you himself.

He felt crazy, crazier than usual. He didn’t need this as well, not on top of his daily dose of unstable. He didn’t need to be pining after his teammate’s girlfriend. Shaking his head Yuta ignored the fact that you were on the other side of the wall with no top on.

He didn’t even look at you when you rounded into the kitchen fully clothed in Doyoung’s hoodie again. He didn’t look at you as everyone started setting up the party. Didn’t even glance at your face when you handed him a knife to cut open a huge box of beer. He didn’t look at you when you said bye so you could head to the dorm to change, but he had to look at you when you bound back in through a front door and took off your winter coat to reveal a black dress that fell to your midthigh it was a turtleneck dress; simple but it looked amazing on you. You wore a lot of turtlenecks Yuta noticed; a sneer adorned his face once he realized why.

He didn’t comment just turned away from you as Doyoung slammed through the front door carrying a huge bag of ice.

“Let’s get this shit started!” Jaehyun said as he bound down the stairs a huge smile on his face. He flashed Johnny a joint before moving towards the back door. Johnny followed out after him. Yuta’s phone went off in his pocket, he let out a large sigh as he read the text on his screen.

Taeyong: Could you pick us up from our house?

Sighing again as he typed back a ‘yup’ he dragged his face towards the front door.

“Hey, where are you going?” His hand froze at the front door, your voice floating towards him. Slowly he turned back to face you, you were looking at him with your head tilted to the side. You’d put on a darker shade of lipstick and had rimmed our eyes with black winged eyeliner. All of it was making Yuta feel some type of way as he looked at you.

He cleared his throat and pointed towards the driveway.

“Got to pick up my roommate and his girlfriend, I’ll be back.” You smiled at him and nodded.

“Okay see you later then.” Your smile was stuck in his head as he took the mustang back towards his house. His mind was reeling with you, and he was beyond confused. He pulled into the driveway and parked pulling out his phone and texting Taeyong to come out.

As he waited, he realized that he was losing his shit. He hadn’t hooked up with a girl since the summer, not since her. He hadn’t even looked at a girl with remote interest since then actually, so he was beyond confused by his reaction to you. He couldn’t wrap his head around what was happening inside him, he just felt unhinged. Why were you in his head?

Taeyong and came out of the house holding his girlfriend’s hand tightly, Yuta frowned your face leaving his mind quickly. He didn’t say anything as Taeyong pulled up the door and moved the seat forward getting into the back himself. Yuta didn’t look at the girl that slipped into the passenger seat, he just nodded at her when she greeted him.

His hands clenched the steering wheel tightly as he made his way back to the other house. His eyes were glued to the road. The car was filled with suffocating air, maybe he was the only one who felt it. He didn’t want to look at the others faces to see if they felt it too.

Pulling up to the house he quickly put the car in park and ran into the house, letting the two of them get out at their own pace. He could lock the car from inside. The boys in the house were getting loud as Johnny and Jaehyun came back inside with clouded eyes. Drinks were started to move around as games began to be played and more people filed into the house. Loud music poured from every corner of the house as Johnny began to play his party playlist. Yuta sighed, as realization dawned on him today, he couldn’t leave whenever he pleased. He was stuck here in this house until every last one of the people were out.

Yuta moved around the house before the air became too stuffy for him and he decided that sitting outside on the porch would be the best bet. He only sat for a couple of minutes before you barrelled out the house, your face red and angry and you were drunk he could tell from the way you stumbled down the stairs, Yuta moved to get up and help you down but before he could even get up from his chosen spot on the railing Doyoung came flying out the door. His face was just as red and angry, just as drunk.

“You’re gonna walk away from me?” He asked. You threw your hand up in the air waving him off as another drunk boy came out of the house behind the two of you. Nobody noticing Yuta as he sat and watched.

“I’m done with this conversation Doyoung, I’m going to my dorm find me when you're done being a prick.” You were staggering down the driveway. The other boy less drunk than you two but still evidently struggling to walk properly pushed past Doyoung and followed you.

“I’ll drive you back.” He exclaimed. You paused in your spot and turned around looking at him.

“Didn’t you drink?” yes, he did. Yuta was standing up straight as he waited for the boy to answer.

“No.” He lied. Yuta clenched his teeth and went to stand next to Doyoung.

“I’ll drive her home.” He told Doyoung. Doyoung only rolled his eyes and shrugged at Yuta.

“Let her do whatever she wants. I don’t care.”

Yuta sighed and made his way to you quickly. He grabbed your wrist as you made your way towards a red Camry.

“You’re not going with him.” You whipped around and faced him. The anger back on your face and it didn’t soften when you looked at him.

“And you are?” You asked your head tilting to the side. Yuta laughed and pulled you towards him.

“Go back in the party dude you’re not driving anywhere today. Give me your keys.” The boy scowled at Yuta. Yuta raised his eyebrow at him feeling like he was talking to a toddler. “Your drunk kid, give me your keys.” He held out his hand to the boy, the boy stumbled back slightly grumbling but gave the key over to Yuta before stomping back into the house.

You stared after the boy as he disappeared back into the house.

“He’s drunk? Men are scum.” You grumbled and turned away pulling your wrist out of Yuta’s hand.

“I’ll drive you home,” Yuta repeated motioning to the car. You just nodded and made your way to the car pulling the door open as Yuta unlocked the door.

“So, dorms, right?” Yuta asked once he was on the road. You nodded again staring at the stereo system.

“You know Doyoung right?” You asked, Yuta laughed at how drunk you were.

“Yes, I do, we play hockey together.”

“Well, he’s stupid. Did you know that?” Yuta wasn’t able to reply before you started talking again. “He told me that I’m so forward. Like wanting to kiss him is a crime. He was so embarrassed by earlier today. Tried to kiss his cheek in the kitchen and he told me to calm down.” You hiccup once, finally taking a breath. Your face was red from the annoyance and anger you felt towards your boyfriend.

“Would you let your girlfriend kiss you in public?” You asked turning your head to Yuta.

Yuta’s hands tightened around the steering wheel.

“Probably.”

“So, my boyfriend is just a prude.” Yuta laughed. You leaned forward in your seat and turned the music louder, then turned to stare out the window.

You were drunk, he told himself. You’d be over this fight with Doyoung by tomorrow.

Yuta didn’t see you again until Monday when all the boys had piled into his house to watch movies. Yuta hadn’t slept again the previous night and he was hanging on by a thread, he decided to forgo the movies and tried to sleep.

---

Loud pained grunts flowed out of his room. You didn’t know why your feet had taken you to this door. You didn’t even know whose door it was you’d just come upstairs to go to the bathroom. You flinched when a loud thud came from the other side of the door followed by a curse. Not knowing what came over you, just the words open the door repeating in your head you slightly pushed the door open.

Yuta was on the ground by his nightstand hunched over a broken lamp. He was bleeding, his eyes frantic and his breathing erratic.

“Yuta.” You said softly, but he didn’t hear you.

“I didn’t know.” He muttered quietly; you didn’t know what he was talking about. Slowly you took a step into the room moving closer to him. “I didn’t know.” He repeated as he roughly ripped out the broken piece of glass from his hand making more blood gush out.

“Oh my god, don’t do that!” You were on the floor beside him in a second taking his hurt hand into yours. He was shocked when you grabbed him. His eyes widening, his breathing became worse as he pulled his hand away from you. He wiped the blood onto his black sweats while he took in loud pained breaths.

“I -I can’t breathe.” His face was flushed and sweaty. He was looking everywhere but at you.

“O-okay okay, breathe with me.” You said, breathing in slowly and out slowly. After doing that a couple of times Yuta began to mirror your breathing, his eyes finally latching onto yours. You realized how tired he looked. Like he hadn’t slept properly in days. You helped him until he calmed down until his breathing was normal.

“Y/N, Doyoung is looking for you. Plus, I need the bathroom.” Taeyong’s voice carried into the room from the hallway. Followed by a knock on the bathroom door. You looked up at Yuta his eyes glazed over again as he stared at the wall.

“Yuta.” You said his name softly, “Look at me. We need to clean your hand.”

“I got blood on you.” He said. His eyes glassing over with unshed tears.

“It’s okay. Come on let me help you.”

“Y/N?” Taeyong called for you again.

“In here.” You replied loud enough for him to hear you. Seconds later Taeyong was in the room.

“Fuck what happened?” He asked coming to your side quickly.

“I found him like this.” You replied to him quietly.

“I got blood on her,” Yuta said again.

“Yuta?” Taeyong said putting his hand onto his shoulder moving past you so that he was directly in front of Yuta. “It's okay man, it's okay.”

Yuta’s head slowly moved towards Taeyong’s and he nodded.

For the rest of the week, you couldn’t get him out of your head. You didn’t see him at the table you all ate lunch at, or anywhere on campus. You asked Taeyong if he was okay, he’d only told you not to worry about him before moving past you and going to his class. But you couldn’t get his eyes out of your head, the tormented look on his face had your brain in a frenzy.

You hadn’t told Doyoung about what you had seen, deeming it not your business to spread, but as you got into your bed sliding in next to Doyoung you couldn’t help but ask.

“Have you seen Yuta lately?”

“Yuta? Yeah, why?”

“I just haven’t seen him for a while I was just wondering.”

---

That Friday you were laying on Doyoung’s couch in a pair of tight jeans and a crop top, ready to drink and have fun at the small ‘gathering’ as the boy were calling it. You tapped away at your phone, your mind drifting off to Yuta again. You’d tried very hard to listen to Taeyong especially after Doyoung told you that Yuta was around just not around you. You understood that maybe he was embarrassed but for some reason, it bothered you. Especially since there was nothing to be embarrassed about if he was embarrassed.

The door opened loudly snapping you away from your phone Johnny strolled in laughing with Jaehyun. Yuta trailed after them, your eyes narrowed in on his lowered head as he dragged his feet into the living room. When he looked up his eyes caught yours his skin wasn’t as pale as the last time you saw him, but the dark circles, the tired expression it was all still there.

You sat up on the couch smiling at Jaehyun and Johnny as they passed you and went into the kitchen. Yuta remained having moved towards the wall he leaned his shoulder onto it, his hands shoved into his pockets.

“Thank you for that day.” He said, his gaze had moved to the floor letting his hair fall over his eyes as he spoke to you.

“You don’t need to thank me.” You got up and only hesitated for a second before walking over to him. “Are you feeling better today?”

He only shrugged in response.

“Were you avoiding me this week?” Your voice was soft as you asked the question. He turned his head away from you.

“Wouldn’t you?” he asked, “We barely know each other, and you saw me like that.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed. I’m sure you would’ve done the same with me. Heck, you kind of did when you drove me home after last week’s party.” Yuta still wasn’t looking at you and you really wanted him to. You held your breath as he pushed off the wall and walked towards you.

“Yeah, well don’t worry about it anymore.” He walked past you and into the kitchen, you watched his back as he rounded the corner.

For some reason you felt dejected, you couldn’t explain why but that was not what you wanted to hear from him. Somehow Yuta was under your skin and you couldn't help but want to be around him. He looked so broken when you saw him on the floor, you couldn’t just not worry. You couldn’t not think about him.

“Hey babe,” Doyoung said wrapping his arm around you before nuzzling his head into your neck. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing. Just zoned out.” You said turning your face towards the boy. Your mind was in the kitchen though, following Yuta as he stood silently with the others listening to their laughter.

As the night went on more people showed up, but it was small only close friends of the team, girlfriends, and obviously the team itself. You found yourself watching Yuta throughout the night. Your eyes constantly finding him, he was withdrawn from the group he’d laugh when appropriate, but you could tell he didn’t know why he was laughing.

After a couple of hours, you watched him walk out the front door, you watched from inside as he sat on the porch alone staring out at the night sky. Looking around you, you got up. Doyoung was emersed in a game of beer pong with Jaehyun, Jungwoo and Kun.

You pushed the front door open yourself and stepped out onto the porch. Yuta was sitting on the railing; you knew he saw you come out his head had tilted towards you but he’d quickly looked away.

“The night sky is pretty.” You said coming up to lean onto the railing next to his. He didn’t reply, your gaze fell from the sky to his face. He was clenching his jaw; from your spot, you could see it flex as he ignored you. “You can’t just ignore me.”

“Can’t I?” Yuta asked in turn, his words cold. “I don’t need your pity.” You froze at his words. You didn’t pity him, you were concerned. You didn’t feel bad that he was going through something, everyone did at some point. You just wanted to, for some reason, be there for him.

“I don’t pity you.” You replied. Yuta jumped off the railing and in a second had you caged in between his arms as he leaned into you. Your back pressed against the wooden fence.

“Don’t you?” He asked his breath fanning your face, “I see the way you look at me. I’m not something to be fixed.” You harshly swallowed, you’d never been this close to Yuta. Heck, this was your second real conversation with him, if it could even be called that.

His eyes darkened as you leaned away from him.

“Leave it alone, Y/N.” He pushed off the railing and began to walk away from you, but like it had a mind of its own your hand reached out and grabbed the back of his shirt.

“I don’t want to fix you. I just want to…” You trailed off. Be there for you. But it felt weird to say because why did you want that, you two barely even knew each other. Yuta looked at you angling his body towards you again. His eyes softened as he saw the expression on your face, your face was open, your eyes telling him the words you couldn’t say.

“Let’s go inside.”

You followed him into the warm house, Ten and Kun were yelling at each other as they played a game on the PlayStation, you followed Yuta past them and into the kitchen where he grabbed a bottle of water.

“You’re not drinking?” You asked. He shook his head in reply.

“Nope, not today.”

“You didn’t last week either.” He just shrugged and took the cap off the bottle before chugging it.

You watched his adam's apple as he swallowed, his throat becoming more exposed as he tilted his head back and drank the water.

“Don’t look at me like that,” He said turning his face away from you. You snapped out of your daze and narrowed your eyes at the side of his head. “You have a boyfriend.” You furrowed your eyebrows as he looked at you. His own eyes dark, you opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

You didn’t see him the next day and your brain tumbled into a spiral of questions, the biggest one; was he avoiding you again? The entire day he was on your brain and you didn’t know what to make of it, he confused you the way he made you feel. You made your way up the steps to Doyoung’s house, your boyfriend following behind you.

“Y/N are you okay? What are you thinking about?” He asked stopping you before you went into the house. “You’ve been off all day.”

You looked up at his concerned face and you didn’t know what to say. Your brain was riddled with Yuta, taking in Doyoung’s face a sense of guilt punched you in the chest. You couldn’t understand what was happening but as you stood on the porch in front of your boyfriend the only person you could think of was Yuta. You shook your head softly muttering nothing��as you turned away from him and opened the door walking into his house.

You stopped in your steps; Yuta was sitting on the couch laughing with Jaehyun. Both the boys turned to you as you stared at Yuta.

“Hey,” He said, you nodded back to him and waved to Jaehyun before going to the kitchen. For some reason, your heart was beating in your chest erratically. Doyoung followed behind you as you pulled open the fridge and grabbed a water bottle.

“Y/N.” His voice was soft. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what’s bothering you?”

You only nodded, you couldn’t talk to him about this, you didn’t understand this yourself.

“I’m going to take a nap in your room is that okay?” you asked. He nodded and you left the kitchen and quickly passed through the living room not looking at the boys on the couch and bound up the stairs to your boyfriend’s room.

The room was dark when you threw open his door, and you left it that way as you moved towards his bed to lay down. The room smelled of him, you were surrounded by the scent that you use to crave when you needed comfort, but today it wasn’t comforting you. Your brain kept on flashing to the way Yuta had looked at you in the kitchen yesterday, the way his eyes were filled with an emotion you couldn’t handle. And emotion directed at you. Doyoung didn’t even look at you like that. Guilt radiated through your body; it wasn’t like you cheated on him so why did you feel like you did?

A small knock pulled you from your thoughts.

“Yeah?” You answered, assuming it was Doyoung. The door slowly opened, and Yuta moved into the room. You abruptly sat up, moving back on the bed for some reason trying to create a distance between the two of you. He closed the door behind him and didn’t notice your abrupt reaction.

“Are you okay?” He asked. You fiddled your fingers as he moved closer to the bed, his presence taking up the room, you swallowed as he sat down. Your body going into overdrive as he looked at you. This is insane, your brain screamed as your heart pounded in your chest.

“I met you only a couple of weeks ago.” You said, Yuta’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you, confusion clouding his eyes.

“Yeah, I kn-”

“And I’m dating Doyoung.” You clenched the sheets at your side, your hands fisting into them as you looked away from Yuta.

“Yeah, you ar-”

“I also don’t know anything about you.” Your blood was rushing in your head as your thoughts scattered, he was so close to you, he was at the foot of the bed, but you felt like he was too close to you. “Why do I want to kiss you this bad.”

---

Yuta froze, that was the last thing he expected you to say. He came after you because you looked awful, upset, and he felt like he owed it to you to check on you because yesterday you showed that you cared enough to check on him. He thought you were moving towards a form of friendship, he was hesitant at first but accepted it, he even reasoned out that whatever small puppy crush he had on you would dissipate if he could treat you as a friend.

Your words were echoing around his head, and his hand itched to pull you to him, but he couldn’t. He got up from the bed and didn’t reply to you. He couldn’t, if he opened his mouth he would say the wrong thing. He couldn’t do that to Doyoung, he couldn’t do that to you.

You looked so small on the bed, your knees were pulled up to your chest, and your eyes closed. Yuta’s breathing shallowed as Ara’s face flashed into his head, the bloody body that he never actually saw but somehow haunted his mind switched places with you as he backed up towards the door.

He couldn’t do this. Quickly turning he stormed out the room, down the stairs and out the front door. He ignored the calling of his friends as he got into his car and drove home. His hands were trembling on the steering wheel as he drove the short distance back to his house. He felt like he was going to puke, his heart was beating loudly against his ribs his head was spinning.

Too many emotions coursed through him as he pulled the car onto his driveway threw it into park, clambering out of his car he ran towards his house door. Wiping the sweat that was gathering onto his palms he opened the front door and came face to face with Taeyong’s girlfriend.

“Yuta?” She asked her eyes showing him that concern that he didn’t want again. Is head only spun more from seeing her, Ara flashed in his head again, a smiling girl standing next to the woman in front of him, Ara laughing with her best friend. He felt like he couldn’t breathe again, his back hitting the wall next to his front door. She called his name again but he barely heard her and his hand flew to his throat.

“I can’t,” He muttered letting himself fall to the ground, she followed him.

“Breathe with me.” She said, Yuta shook his head, his mind unhinging as he pushed her hands away from him.

“Stop. I killed her okay!” He was frantic as he pushed her away from him, “I don’t need your concern or your pity. I killed your best friend.” She was looking at him with wide eyes, she shook her head softly.

“No you didn’t Yuta, that wasn’t any of our faults. That wasn’t your fault.” Her tone was soft, and he could tell that she wanted to move closer to him again as her hand heisted in the air. Yuta only chuckled as he pressed his back into the wall. His breathing still not in his control

He was losing it. He needed her to understand. He needed her to go away from him.

“You don’t know anything. I fucked her over, I killed.”

“Yuta yo-”

“I knew she liked me. Do you think I didn’t know how much she liked me? I took advantage of it, I was good at doing that with other girls too. I fucked her, left her in my bed and went to make out with another chick. She found me like that, rightfully got mad and asked me to take her home, but I was drunk. So, I asked a friend of mine, he drove her and they both died. He told me he wasn’t drunk, but I should’ve known. I should’ve known!”

Her face wasn’t shocked at the words that poured out of Yuta’s mouth, she was still looking at him softly.

“You made bad decisions Yuta, but you didn’t kill her.”

He shook his head, only realizing now that his cheeks were wet from tears, he didn’t realize he'd shed.

“Why aren’t you mad? You should hate me.” She only sighed and carefully moved closer to him.

“She was grown, she could’ve also checked if he was drunk. He could’ve said that he couldn’t drive because he was drunk. You didn’t kill her.” She was kneeling in front of him, her hands hesitated but he didn’t push away so she pulled him by his shoulder into her. She held him tightly until his breathing calmed down.

---

He was ignoring you again, you understood why this time. You were embarrassed, the last words you said to him rattling around your brain as you sat across from Doyoung in the library. You couldn’t look at him, you’d been ignoring him for the past week as well. Feeding him lies and excuses about how busy you were. In reality, you’d buried yourself under your covers and sulked. Your brain was a mess.

You couldn’t ignore him anymore though, so here you were sitting across from him at a small table not meeting his eyes as you tried to work on neglected schoolwork.

“Babe, are you coming over today? The boys are coming over again and we’re just gonna drink and hang out,” Doyoung asked putting his pen down and stretching as he asked.

You said yes without thinking, your brain not having heard what he asked. When your brain processed you panicked, Yuta would be there.

----

You were drunk out of your mind by the time Yuta and the others came to the house. Jaehyun was next to you cursing as he played Mario Kart, giggles leaving you as you watched. You were sticking to Jaehyun and Ten today, that way you didn’t need to worry about being alone with Doyoung or wandering off to Yuta. You were worried about what you would do if left to yourself, which made you feel like shit because Doyoung didn’t deserve that.

So here you were drunk out of your mind, sitting next to your boyfriend’s teammates giggling mindlessly feeling like shit because you wanted to kiss a man that wasn’t your boyfriend, oh yeah and he ran away from you when you told him that.

You laughed out loud.

You managed to succeed with your ignoring them plan for most of the night until you had to go to the bathroom. Stumbling your way up the stairs you gripped the railing digging your fingers into the grooves to help your balance.

You made it up the stairs without falling and took a break at the top your drunk body exhausted from the trip.

“You're really drunk today.” Your head snapped to Yuta, he was leaning on the wall in front of you. You quickly looked away from him, your heart already doing fuck shit in your chest from being near him.

“Don’t judge me, you sober saint.” You retorted.

“I’m not sober, I was convinced into doing some shots.” Your eyes wandered back to his face, you cursed when you saw his smirk, his eyes laughing at you.

You didn’t reply just straightened out and made to walk by him, but you stopped in front of him a random bought of anger slamming into you, who did he think he was? Why was he toying with you? Why did he make you feel this way? Why did you still want to kiss him?

“Don’t laugh at me!” You snapped at him, his eyes widened when you looked at him. “You ran away from me.”

“You have a boyfriend.” He replied. Before you could think anything, your hands were on his shirt pulling him into you, your lips slamming into him. He only hesitated for a second before his hands were gripping at you, turning you both around and pushing you into the wall. Your drunk mind was swimming, you knew this was wrong, but you couldn’t stop, your hands moved into his hair as he deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing against your lower lip you moaned softly and opened your mouth letting his tongue into your mouth, another moan leaving you as his tongue brushed against yours.

“Wait fuck,” He abruptly pulled away from you. You looked up at him, eyes wide as you realized what you had just done. Yet you didn’t move away from him, he wasn’t looking at you, his eyes were pressed shut.

“The last girl I hooked up with died. I’m fucked up in so many ways that I can’t count. I’m trying to the right thing here but fuck it’s so hard.” His hand on your shoulder tightened. He opened his eyes and looked down at you, his breath fanning your face, you stared at his swollen lips. Somewhere in your mind, you thought about how wrong what you were about to do was, but in the moment your brain couldn’t think properly.

You didn’t reply to what he just said, and you didn’t move away from him you stood in his grasp until he lowered his mouth to yours again.

“I’m not a good person.” He said quietly just before he pressed his lips against yours again. You stumbled as he pulled you with him, not taking his lips off of yours. Your hands fisted into the front of his shirt holding onto him tightly as he led you into a room. You only stumbled slightly as he pulled you onto the bed. Your lips leaving his as he let you fall.

You stared up at him your breathing shallow as you mirrored his. His eyes were dark and filled with lust mirroring your own. You bit your lip as you waited for him, he closed his eyes taking in large breaths. You watched. When he opened them again any conflict in them was gone, you were beyond rational thought.

Taking his shirt off he tossed it to the side before climbing onto the bed and hovering over you. His lips returned to yours in a fast kiss, one that stole your breath away again. From there everything moved fast, everything was done in a hot haze as your shirt joined his on the ground then your pants and underwear followed by the rest of his clothes his mouth leaving yours and kissing down your body. You were so wound up that you couldn’t take the teasing, fisting his hair you pulled him back up to your face.

“Please, now.” You breathed before kissing him roughly. You were a moaning mess underneath him as he thrust into you, your walls clenching around him. He grunted as he moved, his hands gripping your hips, his fingers digging into your skin. Your hands were on his arms tightly holding on as he fucked into you. Taking one hand from your hip he rubbed fast circles on your clit as you came close to your climax.

You came, his name flowing out of your mouth before he slammed his lips back onto yours keeping you from saying anything else, keeping you quiet. His hips continued to thrust into you, his lips never left yours, until he finished himself.

---

You couldn’t look at Doyoung, you couldn’t speak to Doyoung, your heart would break every time he texted you. You were awful and you knew it yourself he didn’t deserve what you had done, but as guilty as you felt for knowing how much it would hurt Doyoung your mind couldn’t accept the fact that it was wrong. It was wrong, but the way it made you feel couldn’t be wrong. Your head was hurting from all the arguments you had in your mind.

You were locked in your dorm, you had been for the past three days. Doyoung was calling and texting you non-stop, but you couldn’t reply. You heard nothing from Yuta, and you couldn’t help but let that fact hurt you. Your phone rang again, you knew who it was before you even looked at the screen. Sighing you grabbed it, you had to answer.

“Hey,” His voice was cautious.

“Hello.” You replied, your hands fisting into your blanket.

“Are you okay? Why aren’t you answering me.” He didn’t sound angry, he sounded concerned. Your eyes filled with tears, you knew you didn’t deserve that, you deserved to be yelled at for ignoring him at the least. You couldn’t reply you knew that if you opened your mouth, you’d tell him what you did, but didn’t he deserve to know.

“Y/-”

“I cheated on you.” And you hung up.

You were a coward you couldn’t listen to whatever he had to say after that, you couldn’t take the yelling that you deserved, you didn’t even deserve to cry. Wiping angrily at the tears that streamed down your face you broke down, sobbing into your pillow. You felt like shit for what you did to him, you felt like shit because Yuta was ignoring you as much as you were ignoring him.

You didn’t understand Yuta, the last thing he said before you slept with him. Telling you about his last hook-up didn’t even register until you woke up the next day in your dorm alone. The heavy words rattling around in your head. You could put enough together to know that he was fucked up about it, you felt worse when you realized that you added onto his self-image of being a bad person.

Curling up into yourself you couldn’t stop crying. An hour passed and there was a loud banging on your door.

“Open the door Y/N,” Doyoung said through the door, his voice loud and angry. You rolled onto your back in bed. You’d expected this from the moment you hung up, but you couldn’t get off the bed, you listened to the pounding on the door, you listened to his angry words turn to begging and you cried again. You cowered away from him, from the world, because how could you face it?

---

Everyone was in his house, every guy on his team was crawling around. When the hockey season was airing this was a normal occurrence for everyone to pile into a house and watch together, but this time Yuta dreaded the full house especially since he was ignoring so many people this time.

Taeyong’s girlfriend, still, not because he felt awful when he looked at her which he still did but less so but now also out of embarrassment, he’d cried in front of her and that made it hard for him to look at her.

He was also ignoring Johnny for the past three days because after he fucked up and fucked you, he ran to Johnny and told him what he did. Johnny was mad but then felt sympathy after Yuta explained that he liked you, but he couldn’t look at Johnny now either not after he’d sobered up and realized how pathetic he sounded trying to explain that he liked his teammates girlfriend a lot even though he’d known her all of five seconds and didn’t know jack shit about her it was just an inexplicable feeling. Johnny had tried to talk to him twice since then, but he’d ran away.

Doyoung too, but that was obvious, he couldn’t face his friend and teammate, practice this morning had been awful, Doyoung was complaining about Y/N going M.I.A. on him. He looked so distressed Yuta felt shitty.

He climbed down the stairs slowly, staring at his phone as he went down, he didn’t want to make any eye contact. He didn’t want anyone to speak to him, but he couldn’t hide in his room that would only draw everyone to him and then everyone would be looking at him.

Yet he couldn’t stop his head from snapping up as the front door slammed into the wall and Doyoung stumbled in. His eyes were red, and he looked drunk.

“Well,” he said loudly looking directly at Yuta, “I am a fucking loser. I’m pathetic and I’m a loser.” Yuta flinched with every word that spilled out of the younger boy’s mouth. Taeyong was instantly at the door as Doyoung struggled with his shoes.

“What are you talking about?” Taeyong asked him as Johnny also filtered into the entryway, taking a spot on the last step on the stairs.

“She cheated on me,” Doyoung replied and then shrugged, “she won’t even tell me who. She actually won’t even let me into her room.” Johnny glanced up at Yuta, but Yuta kept his eyes on Doyoung. He watched the younger boy hold on to Taeyong as his face twisted in anger.

“I don’t understand,” he said his face going red. “I just want to know who it was.”

Yuta’s hand moved to the railing as he bit his tongue, He could feel Johnny throwing glances at him as they all watched the boy break down. Yuta’s gut twisted with guilt as Doyoung stumbled over a pair of shoes and hit the wall. He watched as Doyoung began to cry and Taeyong tried to grab onto him. Yuta’s head was twisting into a tunnel of thoughts that he couldn’t control, all he knew was that he did that.

“It was me.” The air in the room left as the words left this mouth, Taeyong’s head snapping up to him his large eyes widening before anger flashed in them. Yuta turned his gaze back to Doyoung he could barely breathe as under the three pairs of eyes on him.

Doyoung was frozen staring at Yuta. Yuta could tell he was processing the words that had just left his mouth. Slowly Doyoung straightened up before he looked up and met Yuta’s gaze, Yuta could see the blatant hatred that had formed behind Doyoung eyes, but he didn’t look away.

I deserve this. Yuta thought.

Doyoung shook himself out of Taeyongs grasp and was up the stairs and in front of Yuta in a second. More boys had gathered into the small entryway. Yuta snapped his eyes shut as Doyoung grabbed him by the front of his shirt and slammed him into the wall.

“You fucking douche bag!” His words were angry, his hand twitched at Yuta’s shirt but Yuta couldn’t look at him anymore. Doyoung was gonna hit him, Yuta could tell. He expected it. But it didn’t come.

“Look at me!” Doyoung yelled shaking Yuta, slowly he opened his eyes. The boy's face was so red, his cheeks stained with tears, more tears flowed out of his eyes as his face broke.

“Why?” Doyoung asked as he shook Yuta.

Yuta’s heart ached; he didn’t know how to reply. What could he even say? I’m not a good person. Were the only words in his head. Doyoung repeated his question before completely breaking down, his head falling onto Yuta’s shoulders.

“I looked up to you,” Doyoung muttered into Yuta’s shoulder.

Yuta froze, his mind going numb. He couldn’t move as Doyoung cried onto him. The words on repeat in Yuta’s head only got louder, until they were screaming at him. Until he couldn’t see anything but the fucked up person he was in his head. He could never do anything right.

“I have to leave,” Doyoung said lifting his head off Yuta, shoving him as he did so.

“Why?” Taeyong asked, his voice cold. “Why should you leave? Yuta should.”

Yuta couldn’t look at Taeyong, he knew what the expression on his face would be because he was looking at himself like that as well with pure hatred.

I deserve it.

Yuta didn’t disagree he would be the one to leave, but for a second he couldn’t move. No one did.

“You’re right.” he finally said. He moved past Doyoung in a rush feeling the heated eyes of everyone on him as he bound down the stairs and shoved his feet into shoes before leaving out the door. He had to leave, he deserved to be alone, to be the one kicked out. He couldn’t do anything right. He was fucked up, he wasn’t a decent guy to girls, and he wasn’t a good friend. With each step that Yuta took away from the house, he realized that he was indeed a bad person. Because good people didn’t hurt the people they loved.

And they definitely didn’t deserve to be loved themselves.

A/N: Please look forward to part two, I will have it up as soon as I can. PLEASE let me know what you think!

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