nortrell, and this is very specific but i just got the idea of them accidentally almost kissing on stream (cuz theyre literally at a distance of 2cm at all times when streaming) and then later having the italicised oh moment over it
This is GLORIOUSLY specific, and I thank you for it. I hope you enjoy.
Max isn't even paying attention to how close Lando is, because Lando's always draped over his shoulder on stream, always all over Max like it's more comfortable to be half sat in Max's lap, and that's how it happens. Max turns to show Lando something on his phone and Lando is already there, waiting, and he's closer, somehow, than Max expected, and Max isn't sure if their lips brush or if he only feels Lando's sharp exhalation but they jump apart as if they'd been shocked, and then dissolve into hysterical laughter. Truly hysterical. Lando can hardly breathe, face red, tears leaking from his eyes. Max isn't that far gone, but every wheezing breath Lando manages sets him off again, until Theo comes in and tells them they're being too loud. Steve and Niran must've missed it, carrying on in the game and dutifully skipping Max and Lando until they catch on and, sobered by the injustice, get themselves under control and focused back on the game. Max glances at Lando's lips every time he turns to face him, and little giggles bubble from Lando's chest periodically, seemingly out of nowhere. Max can feel them where Lando is still pressed against his side, still hanging over his shoulder to point at the move he should make in the game.
It's later, much later, when it really sinks in. Max is in the shower and it keeps flashing through his mind - Lando's lips, whether they actually touched, Lando's blue eyes wide and startled. Max wonders if it would count for a first kiss, for them, feels silly at the thought. It can't count if he's not even sure if they. And it wouldn't have been anything they meant. If it had been Theo he wouldn't count it as a kiss. Stop being stupid, Max tells himself, shutting off the water with more force than is strictly necessary. He's sure his mentions are a nightmare.
He's toweling his hair off as he heads into the bedroom, and Lando is already showered, sitting on the bed with his legs crossed. Lando smiles when Max walks in, looking up from his phone, and Max's chest aches. Lando's not even fucking doing anything, he's just, there. He's just there, and he eases the empty tightness in Max's chest. Max misses this, them, misses when this was every day instead of once every few weekends, misses when it was their house. He misses Lando, even though he has him, even though Lando has hardly even been gone, and suddenly a number of things click into place.
"You alright?" Lando asks, when Max has been quiet for too long, still for too long, staring at Lando sitting on Max's bed.
"That wasn't much of a kiss earlier," Max says. It feels like an out of body experience, hearing his voice say those words, watching the brief flash of confusion on Lando's face before he catches up.
"I think chat would disagree," Lando says. He shifts on the bed to make room for Max. "But it's not as though we gave it a proper effort. We could've given them something to really talk about."
"Is that an offer?" Max asks. He watches Lando's face, watches his expressions snap between confusion and amusement and something else, flickering.
"I'm not going to kiss you for chat," Lando says, careful.
Max shrugs. "What about for me?"
Lando stares at him, and then a small smile creeps onto his lips, spreading wide. "Yeah, Max," he says. "I could do that."
And then he does.
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19, nortrell❤️
19. "So what if I got drunk and said I love you. I meant it, so I don't see the big deal."
"You're being weird."
Lando stops, spoon halfway to his mouth and dripping milk back into his cereal. "What?"
"You're being weird." Max says again, narrowing his eyes and shifting on the sofa.
He drops his spoon back into his bowl, "According to you, I'm always w-"
"Okay, yes, but you're being weirder than normal."
Lando doesn't answer, he doesn't know what to say and bringing up what he would want to talk about is not an option. His focus narrows to a singular point in his cereal, the last few cheerios floating aimlessly in their shallow pool of milk.
He can't talk about the other night, how he's felt since, how his world feels like it's been tilted the wrong way on its axis. How he's not been able to stop thinking about those three words, how the meaning behind them felt different, deeper, more intentional than before. He can't tell Max how angry he is, how upset and hurt and, more than anything, heartbroken he is.
He can't tell Max he wishes he meant it.
"Bob?"
Max's hand on his knee is unexpected and he jumps. His bowl flies from his hands, cheerios and milk splashing onto the floor and his spoon flings itself under the TV cabinet. Tears immediately well in his eyes, stinging as he does his best to blink them back.
"Bob?" Max calls again, softer this time, so softly and Lando leaps off the sofa to get away from it.
He hurries into the kitchen, grabbing paper towels and a wet dishcloth, cursing under his breath the whole way. He drops to his knees once back in the living room, presses the wet cloth to the milk soaking into the carpet. He's picking up cheerios, hands shaking as they drop into the bowl.
"Stupid, stupid, fucking idiot, crying over spilled milk, you're a fucking baby, stupi-"
"Lando, stop!"
Hands grab his, squeezing tightly, grounding, and Lando feels his face twist with an ugly sob that tears itself free.
"Lando," and there's Max again, voice so fucking soft and he hates it and loves it and never wants to hear anything else ever again. "Lando, look at me, babe."
He freezes, slowly looking up from his lap and the mess on the floor, dragging his eyes from Max's chest to chin to cheek. It takes him another long moment before he can look Max in the eyes, and when he does all he can see is concern.
His mouth opens, a question on his tongue but it dies in his throat when Max squeezes his hands again.
"What's going on, Lando? Ever since the other night you've been off and I just wanna know why. I want to help."
"You can't just say things if you don't mean them."
It's not what he means to say - 'I'm fine', 'don't worry', 'it's nothing' - but it's what comes out anyway. He knows it makes no sense so he's quick to elaborate before Max can ask again.
"The other night, you can just say that, it's, it's not fair. And you can't just call me babe like it's nothing either!"
He's heading towards hysterical and he hates it, but then Max's words slam into him like a tyre barrier.
"The other night? What do you me- oh. So what if I got drunk and said I love you? I meant it, so I don't see the big deal."
His jaw works around silence before he grits his teeth. His fists clench, fingers curling out of Max's grip for his nails to press harshly into his palms. The pain is a new focal point as he muddies through the mess in his head. Max gives him time and he's begrudgingly grateful. Then Max's words process again.
"What do you mean it's not a big deal? You don't just tell people you love them Max, not when-" Lando bites his tongue as he cuts himself off quickly.
Max is ever patient with him. "When what, Bob?"
He takes a deep breath, biting the bullet. "When they actually love you back."
When he looks back at Max's face, he's not expecting to see him holding in laughter. His heart clenches in his chest sharply, embarrassment hearing his cheeks and he tries to get away. He doesn't get far before Max has his hands again, pulling Lando into a cuddle he can't, doesn't want to, escape from.
"I'm not laughing at you, I promise." Lando wants to beg to differ when his brain short circuits as Max presses a kiss against his temple. "I knew I shouldn't have just assumed you knew what was going on. Babe, we've been dating for like three months."
"What?!"
Max just laughs again, pressing his hands to Lando's cheeks, squishing them softly and dropping a kiss on the tip of his nose.
"Lando, we've literally been dating. We go out all the time, we hold hands, you let me spoon you in bed when we have joint naps. I just thought you didn't want to label the shift from friends to more than that."
Lando blinks at him, dumbfounded, the embarrassment creeps back in. He groans, covering his face with his hands. "I'm so dumb, I'm so dumb. I'm an idiot!"
Max giggles, pulling his hands away from his face so they can lock eyes. "Yeah, you kind of are. But you're my idiot and I love you."
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