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lijojo · 9 months

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genshin men sleeping habits

premise: in the early glows of the morning, you wake up in the vice grip of your lover. while it’s very heartwarming, you need to go to work. how does he convince you to stay in bed with him a little longer?

tw: suggestive for the last one

pretends to be asleep but doesn’t let up with his fucking grip regardless

you’ve. tried. everything. you tried nudging him awake, even gave him a couple kisses, but he doesn’t let up. instead, he groans and flips over, taking you along with him. you yelp, unable to brace for impact as you’re suddenly on your side.

he shuffles a bit, wrapping his legs around you a little tighter (if that was even possible). he presses his nose into the crook of your neck. he sighs, content.

after minutes of effort, you decide to relinquish any hopes of waking him up.

“i give up,” you say. “you win. a little longer won’t hurt, right?”

you get no response. but you don’t really need one anyway.

he’s not a very good pretender, with the way his lips can’t help but break out into a little triumphant smile.

alhaitham, kaeya, kaveh, childe, tighnari, thoma, zhongli, diluc, ayato, venti, baizhu, kazuha, scaramouche, xiao

he ambushes you when you least expect it

after many attempts to squeeze out of his hold, you’re successful. out of breath, maybe, but at least you gained the ability to finally roll out of bed and start the day.

sitting up, you give one last glance to your lover. the way his chest rises and falls so rhythmically. the peaceful look on his face. the way he squints when the sunlight hits his eyes. how his hands unconsciously look for you again. you almost feel bad.

that is, until you take one—maybe two, if he’s feeling generous—steps away from the bed. without any kind of sign, signal, or warning, he launches out of bed. he lunges at you like a ravenous wolf, wrapping his arms around your waist and hauling you back to bed with great force. he huffs when you land on his chest, but he’s quick to recover.

he wraps his arms around your shoulders, locking you in with his legs. “you’re not leaving me.”

you can’t help the grin spreading across your lips as you squirm. “let me go. i’m going to be late—”

he retaliates by peppering your neck with chaste kisses. “nuh uh. yo can’t leave me. my heart won’t allow it.”

you can’t even turn to face him. “honey, if you don’t let me go, next time i’m going to burn your breakfast.”

“uh huh.”

“i’ll steal all your favorite clothes and hide them,” you threaten.

“please do. i’m sure you’ll love my birthday suit,” he quips back.

“and i’m going to use all the hot water.”

“we can always shower together.”

“i’ll—”

“do you’re worst. i can take it,” he teases. “i’m still not letting you go. i chose you, i’m going to keep you ‘til the end of time. forever!”

with that, he presses sloppery kisses all over your face despite your protests that he needs to brush his teeth. even so, you can’t help but feel as if staying for five minutes more might not be so bad.

kaeya, kaveh, childe, thoma, venti, itto, heizou, ayato

“assures” you that getting ready doesn’t take as long as you know it does

“what if i did your hair and makeup for you?” he muses, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek.

you scoff playfully. “do you even know my makeup routine?”

“it can’t be as complicated as mine. oh! you could eat breakfast while i button up your clothes for you.”

his offer gets a laugh out of you. “we both know you’re not going to finish buttoning it up.”

“hm? whatever do you mean?” his hands drag down your waist to your hips, tracing slow circles. “you don’t trust me to put your clothes on for you?”

“i don’t think they’ll stay on, that’s the problem,” you say, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. “you know how you get in the morning.”

“do i? how about you remind me? my little friend could use some help waking up—”

you give him a look of warning, to which he groans. “fine, fine.”

with that, he’s left you in silence, absentmindedly petting your head. he closes his eyes.

...

“if you aren’t going to say anything, i’m going drop kick you.”

he huffs. “don’t rush your genius boyfriend. what if i brushed your teeth while you brushed your hair? as they say, teamwork makes the dream work.”

you furrow your brows. “wouldn’t you get toothpaste on my shirt?”

“how about the other way around?”

you smile. “hmm... i like the sound of that.”

he smiles back, pressing a kiss to your nose. “well okay then. five more minutes it is then.”

you snuggle into his embrace, knowing very that he just spent the last five minutes trying to convince you to stay for five minutes more.

gorou, childe, heizou, cyno, ayato, baizhu, diluc, zhongli, itto, kazuha, tighnari, venti, albedo

he suggests the two of you go for round two

he puts on a mischievous little grin, one you know is up to no good. “what if we ‘slept’ a little more and you called in sick?”

his hand crawls down to your inner thigh, tracing teasing circles. “you’d be too sore to go to work anyways...you need to take care of yourself. what would your boss say if she saw you walking with a limp. hm? what do you say?”

you scoff at that. “i don’t think the solution you’re thinking of is going to help that.”

he purses his lips, as if in deep contemplation. with his free hand, he grips your hips a little tighter to pull you back towards him. you stiffen in surprise at something hard pressing against the curve of your ass. his morning wood twitches. “are you sure? maybe you’re sore because you haven’t done the proper stretches yet. luckily for you, your precious boyfriend knows a couple ways to get your hamstrings all loosened up. i could draw us a bath after... turn on some music... maybe go again? doesn’t that sound good?”

you chuckle. “you’re impossible.”

he presses a soft, open-mouth kiss to the crook of your neck. “only with you, love.”

scaramouche, kaeya, ayato, childe, kazuha, thoma, tighnari

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0aestheticallycrying · 6 months

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I was looking a bit more in Furina’s character and

THIS POOR GIRL WHAT

She seems mentally like a teenager who is forced to act like an adult, despite not having that maturity and being forced into this leader position after Egeria died, and was promptly almost immediately abandoned by her old subordinates (Oceanids).

Not to mention her own insecurities run so deep that she constantly has to put on an act for people to like and respect her, but by doing this the people only see her as a jester so the don’t take her seriously at all, even if she wants people too. Her need for validation from her people is digging her even deeper into a hole where she continues to lose seriousness by acting in what she sees is the only way to get people to respect her.

Aside from that, she feels practically isolated from her entire country. Her judge, Neuvillette, is taken very seriously by the people and garners lots of respect, which probably leads to Furina being jealous of him. Neuvillette looks out for Furina, but has little understanding of human emotion which makes it even harder for Furina to actually talk to someone.

On top of that, when she gets attacked and nearly murdered by Arlechinno, she literally can’t tell anyone about it. Her own self doubt and insecurities make her feel isolated and embarrassed that she even was in danger in the first place. She essentially seems to blame herself for it. NOT TO MENTION that there are fatui informants INSIDE Palais Mermonia, watching and recording her every move.

This girl has absolutely no privacy, and is always being watched and despite this, is still so incredibly isolated and lonely.

She is also being accused of being ignorant and useless in leading her country in the dilemma. As of writing this, it does seem that she genuinely has a plan. Imagine being yelled at for not helping your country by the very person who almost murdered you in the middle of the night despite trying your best to help. And this is all not to mention the whole split personality theory.

Overall, I find her character incredibly tragic and misunderstood. For the archon of a region that has a heavy motif of lying, masks, and deception, I find it ironic that most of the Genshin community has taken Furina at face value.

tl;dr: Furina is just a really lonely mentally unstable teenager

#genshin impact #furina #focalors #neuvillette #character analysis #genshin lore #genshin characters #genshin spoilers #genshin furina

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ourolite2 · 4 months

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ᨳິ petites idées!　　nsfw, smut. various genshin characters.　different animal alignments *round of applause* themes — gn!reader (w/ barely any specified anatomical context), hinted backshots/riding, obsessive/servile behavior, overstimulation/edging, cock warming, edging, brat taming (on both ends), subtle manipulation, restraints, usage of toys, immense dirty talk, slight corruption, mentions of going unconscious, mentions of straps, somnophilia (written consensually), + thigh humping- GYATT, there’s a lot… ༄

✦ 𝒟om doggo personalities who are experimental softies and pleasers who would do anything to ensure your satisfaction if you cajole them with the correct treats. Because these loyal little things desires will go miles for your recognition, it’s safe to assume that they’re a couple of sycophantic servants with their minds hellbent on quaffing down whatever is between your plush thighs, their poochie eyes soused with zeal as they lick you until your cum dissipates on their taste buds. They would be unduly stimulating, considering that you’d reach the pinnacle of pleasure once their tongue adulates your body as a reward for treating them with such kindness. Though it’s needless to say that they’re not all sunshines and rainbows, for some could be punishingly desperate if you haven’t returned the adoration, feeling a sense of regret pile onto their heart. They’d question your love for them, tears embellishing their miffed expressions as your walls fail to grasp around them considering how possessively they’ll pound inside of you, not caring about you being on your sixth orgasm — they’d just fuck you through another again and again and again. As long as you sincerely understand how much your attention means to them.

✧ “Feels good? Want more? C’mon, puppy.. do a trick for me? Shake? That’s a good pup.. Now, cum?” CHONGYUN, Neuvillette, CHILDE, Amber, ITTO, Navia, KAVEH, Yoimiya, EI, Furina, Kokomi, Candace, GOROU, + Thoma ordered you breathlessly and hopelessly as they watched your ass shake and undulate on their strap/dick, a spate of breathless moans eluding your lips during the process. Once the command has been established, your body would had practically collapsed onto the silk-infused duvets if it wasn’t from them holding you upwards so you could cum cooperatively and sequentially.

✦ 𝒮ub puppy personalities who will give their viability in order to retreat such amorous praises from you, so it’s safe to conclude that they’re just as obsequious as their dominant counterparts. Their adulation, overprotection and servile attributes deserve high-quality treats that would leave them compliant for the rest of the seasons. Although they’re practically brainwashed into maintaining your pleasure, whether it's with lecherous experiments that leave their vulnerabilities exposed for you to exploit and taint or smothering you with amaranthine gifts that they know you’d relish in, a puppy is still a puppy. It’s your job to give them more attention than anticipated, otherwise they’ll rebelliously defy you, purposely cumming without permission merely because you’ve demanded them to hold it. Their devotional minds are easily tempted into disorder, but they’re also prone to correction since their primary goal in life is to make you happy. Spewing panty apologies as you fuck them relentlesly, their whines and blabbers far from comprehensible, but you knew that this was more than enough to make them capitulate.

✧ “Mmnh- No, don’t wanna sit. Aren’t I your pretty puppy? M’ I a good puppy? I wanna- wanna.. up? Up, please? Please?” GOROU, Ayaka, Kokomi, NEUVILLETTE, Xingqiu, ITTO, Charlotte, + Ganyu implored somewhat comprehensively as spittle cascaded from the corner of their mouth, frantically grinding their hips against your crotch since they’re completely tempted to begin bouncing on your dick/strap like before. However, it would take much more than just polished, dewy, pleading eyes gleaming down at you to convince you to make them cum, let alone repetitive begging that should’ve been muted hours ago.

✦ 𝒟om feline personalities who innately presided over you once you’ve confirmed that you were theirs, therefore are outwardly self-possessed and assertive. While also experimentalists due to their insatiable curiosity, they’ll selfishly coax you into trying new things with them, their dilated, tantalizing eyes enrapturing you during the process. It would be a crime to tell such a guileless plea no, but your chafed wrists and desiccated throat wished you ruminated your words with healthier care. They expect to be lionized incessantly, even when your vocal cords lack the capability to produce anything that doesn’t resemble streams of whimper-like moans, even when they fail to grant you a millisecond of their time, even when you’re stuffed with a bullet vibrator that was on the highest setting available. You’d think that these personalities were insouciant towards your well-being, which discloses an intense suggestion of narcissism, but there’s an impending punishment awaiting for you if you were to speak of someone who isn’t nearly as important as them. Beseech them with mewls if you desire forgiveness, or else your skin will go pallid with the amount of cum suffusing with it, whether it’s theirs, which likely isn’t, or yours.

✧ “You call that apologizing? You’re still too comprehensible… Prove yourself better than that, little dove. Give me what I want, then I’ll have my pretty fingers in your pretty hole.” SCARAMOUCHE, Yelan, AL-HAITHAM, Wanderer, ZHONGLI, Lumine, Lynette, ROSARIA, Ayato, Beidou, YAE MIKO, CYNO, Tighnari, NINGGUANG, + Lisa retorts tauntingly as the vibrations of the toy intensified causing your legs to quake incessantly, your lips spew with squeaks, and your tears to prick harsher than the prickles of cacti. Instead of providing for any necessary comfort, they simply assisted your upcoming, and rather forced, orgasm by fucking you thoughtlessly with the cum-drenched bullet.

✦ 𝒮ub kitty personalities whose imprudence is genetically unbearable since these brats tend to overstep your boundaries solely because you told them not to do such. However, if you overlook their overbearing arrogance and overwhelming urges to poke at your wrong nerves, they’re simply adorable little things who wish to be doted on and coddled by you every second of their day, hence the excessive need to go overboard just for a lick of your attention. From innumerably rutting against silk-infused pillows with their doors ajar, their mewls disrupting your ability to focus on your work, to embellishing your tip/clit with taunting kitten licks before leaving you exasperated and needy. Have you considered teaching them a thing or two about patience? Forcefully shoving your dick/strap inside of them and ensuring that their moments are limited in order for you to tend to your work, disregarding the meaningless, ironic puppy-like whines against your shoulder, or the simmering sensations on your back as the regretful kitty in question excavated their claws into your back?

✧ “Mm-Master, let me cum... M’ a good kitty, right? I don’t… can’t- mmuh, pleaseplease.. C’mon? C’mon.. come on!” SCARAMOUCHE, Venti, LYNEY, Childe, Hu Tao, WANDERER, Venti, Eula, Zhongli, Wriothesley, HEIZOU, Mona, + Kaeya pleaded impatiently as your dick/strap fucked into them relentlessly resulting in them losing balance to the point where the only stability available is your hands which were grasping needily onto their waist. Each and every time cum threatened to spill from them, you’d halt your actions, which induced the blubbers and writhes significantly from the toy in desperate need of fulfillment as much as they’re deprived of punishment.

✦ 𝒟om rabbit personalities who are the clingiest when it comes to you and only you. Even with their timidity, they would bury it under the fabric of your shirt by hiding their heads underneath it, desiring to kiss along your mesmerizing skin without looking up at your puckish expression. Although they’re also willing to please and learn, they’re lack of understanding in certain fields causes hesitation, so you’re like guiding these poor souls. You’ve managed to misconstrue their brain into believing a plethora of artless ideals defines something rather lecherous, such as binkying in their lap as you ride/scissor them for ages, cum spluttering from your pretty pussy/tip as they spittle broken apologies and pleas due to understimulation. Meanwhile you’re the one that should be dying of thirst with the way those rabid sweethearts fuck you dry, whispering degrading nothings you’ve taught them to use in hopes they’ll eventually remmeber that it’s merely apart of foreplay. There’s not enough aftercare in the world to assist them, considering your first time with one of these individuals led to being fucked unconscious.

✧ “Mmmph- conejito… pl-please don’t sleep n-now, need you… want inside! Jusa lil’ more? Can’t.. just so mesmerizing when you cum all over my dick/strap..” VENTI, Chongyun (on them damn chilis), Hu Tao, XIAO, Lyney, + HEIZOU cried out subconsciously as they proceeded to weakly rut against your inanimate body, their mind muffled and muddled with a hazy lechery that could only be described as voracious. Even around the moment they were gradually comprehending your state, they had yet to snap out of it, even while the back of their mind is squealing to stop.

✦ 𝒮ub bunnies whose excitement and impatience is unbridled once you’ve mentioned that you were willing to please them when it’s needed, which ends up being hourly considering a rabbit’s inconceivable libido. In general, they need loads of attention considering how snoopy and energetic they are, let alone a tad brattish if they don’t receive what they want instantaneously. Though, when it came to it, much like their dominant counterparts, they were extremely modest during the first few weeks of training. Determining their favorite positions, beloved spots they adore being pleased with, or even going as far as coaxing them into behaving uncharacteristically if they want to make you proud. However, while being harebrained and impatient, they would bypass the preliminaries completely and lead as if they’ve invented foreplay, sloppily and selfishly binkying and grinding their hips against the surface of your thigh while you’re asleep. The overwhelming idea of you awakening and abasing them, which they weren’t even fond of before meeting you, was arousing them to the point where they brainlessly spittled their desires like forbidden affirmations.

✧ “A-And then—hmah! Sssh.. So much cum will be stuffed inside my mm-mouth. You’ll f-fuck my mouth, lips… c-call me mean names like.. b-boring bunny…” KABUKIMONO, Aether, Sucrose, Kazuha, Freminet, KAVEH, Shenhe, Nilou, LADY FURINA, Ei, + Layla + Xiao spluttered mindlessly as they humped the slight arch in your back considering that they’re straddling you, and yet you have yet to wake up, or so they assumed. With every grasp of your waist and aggressive thrust sent to your back, which was adorned by a series of rhythmic, sharp whines, your body jerked along with the bed, causing you to smile sadistically to yourself.

⑅ ourolite productions. all rights fucking reserved, do not plagiarize.

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randommelan · 23 days

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New Genshin Pin designs. 😭 Took a while to illustrate + pick out Pantone colors. These will be available via kickstarter soon.

#chibi #genshin impact #genshin fanart #pin collection #collectibles #anime art #character illustration #illustration #digital drawing #genshin characters #artwork #my artwork #anime merch #merch #anime #drawing #artist #fanart

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xuzuitengenx · 7 months

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Diluc Ragnvindr x (Top) Male Reader Fluff / Angst Oneshot

Title—"Happy"

Genre—Fluff to Angst

AU—None

CW: Mentions of Death, OOC

A/N: I wrote this at 3am so this will have bad Grammer and spelling errors!

Diluc groans as the morning light hits his face, his face scrunched. He moves away from the light, turning on his other side and his face unexpectedly hitting against a warm chest. Without second thoughts, Diluc snuggled closer, his face away from the light and into warmth which made his body relax to a sleepy state once more.

Diluc slowly starts to fall asleep again until the door bursts opens which caused the two people in that room to become wide awake, sitting up in bed as the couple's eyes tried to adjust.

"Awake up! It's Christmas!!"

"C'mon, Papa and Dad! It's Christmas day!"

Two kids yelled at the two adults that were still in bed, their nerves calmed down a bit.

Diluc rubs his eyes as he looks over at the other man who was called, "Dad". The love of his life, his flame, his heart, his other half, M/N L/N.

M/N gave his two kids a sleepy smile as he mumbles along the lines: "Yay, Christmas." M/N looked over at his husband, giving him a smile too before giving him a kiss on his cheek.

"I wanna open the presents, Dad!"

"Get out of bed, sleepyheads!!"

Diluc looks at the children he calls his kids. They were M/N's and Diluc's adopted children but Diluc always thought that they held almost the same personality as M/N.

Even though, at first, Diluc and M/N thought that having kids was a bad idea due to their lines of work but after a few years of slowly settling down, they decided to start a family.

Diluc watches M/N through blurry eyes getting out of bed and hugging their kids which they hugged him back quickly, excited about the presents and wanting to open them soon.

The kids then moved onto Diluc, jumping onto the bed and both of them hugging on each side of Diluc that he returned, giving them a kiss on their heads.

"Let's get out of bed, Papa! I want to open presents!"

Diluc smiles as he nods. "Alright, let's go then." Diluc agrees, making the kids happy and jumping out of the bed and run out of the room, leaving the adults behind.

Diluc gets out of bed, yawning as he walks up to M/N.

M/N gives Diluc another kiss but on his forehead that lasted longer than the first one on his cheek.

"Merry Christmas, my love." M/N smiles.

Diluc smiles as his heart felt full of love.

His life was complete.

He was going to grow old with his soulmate, watching his kids grow up and have families of their own. He and M/N were going to have grandchildren and talk about their adventures and their love story to them...

Until Diluc woke up.

Diluc felt the morning light hit his face, making him groan and turn away from the sun.

Instead of feeling M/N's body against his own, there was nothing. Only a cold side of the bed, making Diluc alarmed as he sat up in the bed.

Where was M/N?

He'd always sleeps next to Diluc so why was he not here?

Diluc then remembers a very important detail.

M/N L/N had died.

Diluc looks over the nightstand where a broken frame of him and M/N sat. Diluc remembers why that frame was broken.. It was on the same day he was told that M/N died during a mission.

Diluc was angered, heartbroken, sad and felt useless. Seeing the happy picture of M/N who took Diluc by surprise with the Kamera, he threw the frame against the wall as his tears filled his eyes and he felt his heart shattered into unfixable shards.

He didn't believe it then and now.

It has only been a few months.

A few months since he felt M/N's touch.

Since he heard his contagious laugh.

Since he saw that bright smile.

His (E/C) eyes.

His hair.

His humor.

His voice.

His scent.

His reassuring promises of kids and growing old together.

He missed everything about stupid man.

He loved that stupid man so much that he couldn't imagine breathing without him.

Diluc couldn't cry anymore after months of doing so as he looked at the broken frame.

He remembered the dream that he had. The life that they could've had together. With the kids and mornings of kisses, beginning their boring days of the rest of their life together.

Now, he sits alone in the cold bed and an quiet house of grief.

#x male reader #male reader #top male reader #dom male reader #seme male reader #mature #genshin impact #genshin x male reader #genshin impact x male reader #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #diluc x male reader #genshin angst #angst #genshin diluc #sub diluc #genshin impact imagines #genshin characters #3am thoughts

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mushroom-tea-time · 7 months

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Genshin men when you are on your period

Ayato, Wriothesley, and kaveh

I'm in pain

Ayato knows that periods exist and they hurt but nobody explained to him what they actually were. The morning he finds blood on the sheets he thinks you're dying and starts trying to call a doctor

After you explain to him that it's normal and that it's what a period actually is, he starts asking how he can help. He makes you tea, cuddles you, and will literally do anything you ask of him. He has a soft spot for you when it's that time of the month because he can't imagine bleeding for a week and having to act like it's normal.

"if you need anything darling just ask, I want you to be comfortable. Now get some rest I'll be here when you wake up"

Wriothesley has heard about periods from the women of the fortress so he has a good idea of what to do. When you are on your period he has the inability to leave you alone because he is worried about you. It's hard to get him to get out of bed and go to work, because he just wants to cuddle and rub circles into the small of your back. (Totally not because he thinks it's makes you less agitated at him)

He's also not that grossed out by the blood itself, multiple times you have found him scrubbing the sheets with stain remover to get the blood out, he just treats it like when he had to do the same thing to his fighting clothes to get rid of the stains.

"Oh your up, I'm almost done with this, if you can wait I'll I'm finished cleaning this we could have breakfast together"

Kaveh has no chill. He's constantly asking if you're ok and what you need. Pads, got them. Heating pad, it's already hot. Chocolate, what kind. He ends up spending a surprising amount on fake period period products because he'll believe whatever the seller says. You can't count the amount of times he's come home with this pill you just have to try because it will get rid of all the pain. ( Which it doesn't but he's just trying to be helpful)

" Y/n you won't believe what I found while shopping today! One of the stans was selling this herbal pill that gets rid of cramps, here try it"

#genshin impact #genshin characters #genshin x reader #genshin kaveh #genshin #genshin ayato #genshin headcanons #genshin wriothesley #ayato x reader #kaveh #kaveh x reader #kamisato ayato #wriothesley

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fritzzes · 3 months

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youtube

hi <3 i made a video on wriothesley and neuvillette's character analysis, parallels, and their in-depth lore!! pls lmk what you think!!

#neuvillette #genshin #wriothesley #wriolette #neuvithesley #neuvilette genshin #genshin impact #genshin wriothesley #wriothesley genshin #fontaine #neuvillete x wriothesley #wriothesley x neuvillette #genshin lore #genshin characters #Youtube

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spice-chan · 9 months

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Your Form parted from my Sober Mind

Alhaitham x fem!reader

Summary: Alhaitham was not an idealist, but he would fight tooth and nail for his ideals. A soulmate, in particular, conflicts with them.

word count: 10k

tags/warnings: soulmate au. this is dark. dead dove do not eat. rejection. mentions of murder. implications/implied of suicide. there's death in this fic (I'm trying not to spoil things here). Many different narrative styles, but it's all mainly from Alhaitham's POV. kind of mutual pining? mention of marriage. dreams are a reoccurring motif. implied sex, not too explicit but the act is described in enough detail

authors note: I came back from the dead...and made Frankenstein's monster.

“Then from his closing eyes thy form shall part,

And the last pang shall tear thee from his heart,”

Alexander Pope, Elegy to The Memory of An Unfortunate Lady.

While everyone succumbs to a paradigm, that soulmarked people are irrevocably tied to one person, they are neglecting to consider alternatives. This consensus is harming the growth of Academia, and stunting further discoveries. Conducting further research on the phenomenon of soulmates is near impossible, because participation is scarce, as soulmarked people are very complacent, willing to take a backseat in their own future. I, as a soulmarked person, refuse to believe that some supreme deity is more aware of my own preferences and needs than I. In time, I shall prove that, and rewrite the way people view soulmates as we know it.

-Alhaitham

-----------------

Alhaitham sighed as he trudged through the house of Daena, eyes searching for the book that he had been trying to borrow for the past few weeks. Not that he needed it, his grande personal collection spoke otherwise, but he had already gone through everything, his books more creased and spines wrinkled as evidence of his excessive care. He wished to borrow something new. Now if only the book didn’t seem to surge in popularity.

His eyes landed on the book, long legs striding to it with purpose, it was to be his for the two weeks duration, until a hand reached for it at the same time.

A spark ignited between your outstretched hands, however he didn’t feel repelled, rather the sensation seemed to send a comforting warmth to his heart that signalled safety to him.

This moment would become engraved in his memory, when his teal eyes landed on yours for the first time, he’d never cared to describe people’s physical appearances beyond what would be convenient to him, but yours seemed to be an endless pit of water that he could drown in.

Alhaitham staggered back a step, eyes panicked as his eyes searched for your wrist, heart sinking in dread as he saw the matching mark, now pulsing as it found its match. You appeared shocked as you took in this new found development, but by contrast, your lips curved up into a shy smile that he refused to admit was kind of beautiful.

“Oh my god”

You stepped forward, eyes curving down to look to his wrist and your smile blossomed even more as you confirmed it. Your happiness was however abruptly cut as he shoved his hand inside his pocket, moving past you to grab the book you two were previously gunning for.

“Well, I’ll be taking this.” he said, leaving you standing there. He wondered what you looked like standing there alone, in the house of Daena, seeing the owner of the mark matching yours dismissing you. It was quite unheard of, soulmates were usually quite eager, and the first meetings were always recounted as something magical. He wasn’t eager to join the herd though. This is how it was meant to be, two souls parting at the bypass, because he was not obligated to pivot his direction to match yours.

A thought struck him, his dread transforming to excitement. Soulmate studies had always steered clear of a certain direction, the road always seeming to carry an invisible hazardous warning that discouraged even the most willful scholars. Perhaps one is all it takes to finally discard the sign, ditched like an unseasonal winter coat on a summery day. One person who could prove that he is not willing to give in to the will of the Gods.

He looked at the mark on his wrist, no longer pulsing, his face impassive, stony, not betraying his inner dilemma. Possibilities flashed before his eyes, calculations, uncertainties. He shoved his wrist back in his pocket, the eyesore taunting him with its vibrant hue, marked on his skin like an inevitable reality.

----------------

That night, Alhaitham had a vivid dream, one he could recall with disturbing detail.

You and Alhaitham sat underneath the shade, Sumeru roses surrounded the two of you as he hugged you closer to his chest, his rose close enough to your hair that he could breath in your comforting scent while birds chirped, the flowers rustled, and your pages turned while the sun ordained you with it’s warmth. He wasn’t sure for a moment whether the source of the light was you or the sun. He didn’t care. He sighed, one out of comfort rather than fatigue or exacerbation, and you felt it tickling your neck.

You turned to look at him, smile blinding even as his lips remained in a thin line. You said something, but all his senses centred around his sight, and it was laser focused on your kissable lips. You pouted slightly, before leaning forward and granting him his silent wish.

As your lips touched his, his fake reality collapsed and he opened his eyes to the fuzzy shape of his room, disoriented at the delusion he had been sucked into. What prompted this dream? A curious question, one he didn’t have a silent clue how to begin answering. He breathed out, swiping his hair back, eyes glancing at the burgeoning morning sky. He wasted hours out of his rest dreaming about you. He’d rather not have dreamt at all.

He tried to make sense of what had occurred. Meeting you had most likely been the trigger for this dream, but he would need to conduct further analysis.

Most of Sumeru didn’t dream. Except for soulmarked people, they sometimes dreamt as they were deemed to be closer to deities. This idea was something Alhaitham didn’t buy into, but that’s only one more reason to carry on with this study that he dedicated himself to. Why would he dream of such a warm scene with you when he rejected you with his entire being?

---------------

Alhaitham’s theory, one he nurtured with the pride of a scholar, was that soulmarked people didn’t need their soulmates.

It’s quite belittling, in his opinion, for one to base their future and value on whether or not they had a mark, and to abandon their individuality based on a mark. Alhaitham had never felt like half of a whole, he had never felt like his cup was half empty, and he frankly didn’t feel lacking. Your presence was thus simply unnecessary. He didn’t desire it, nor need it.

You were however quite insistent on inserting yourself into his life.

“As I previously informed you, your presence is quite unneeded. In fact it’s bothersome, can you sit somewhere else?” Alhaitham could not believe that even his favourite spot in his favourite cafe is now being invaded by you. You’re like an invasive species.

“No, this spot gets the most sunlight. I can’t let you hog it, but I would be willing to offer you a drink as an apology for the huge inconvenience.”

Alhaitham gave you a brief glance, eyes looking to your face for a second, scrutinising you. Your content expression made him swiftly face his book once more. He tried making sense of your move, were you not offended? Did you have no pride?

When Alhaitham made his stance to you clear, you were too disoriented to rebuttal. What he declared to you was quite unheard of, so he isn’t too surprised. You flashed him a saddened look, not quite heart broken though, and not too discouraged it seemed. You had been pestering him since.

He surmised now that this was your way of trying to get to know him, accepting a drink means that he forgives you for intruding on his space, and he doesn’t.

“I don’t want to give you another excuse to stay.”

“I was never planning to leave Alhaitham. I already have every excuse to stay. Sunshine and a good view.” you said shamelessly, eyes raking his figure. Alhaitham didn’t look up from his book this time but he could bet that you were looking at your nails nonchalantly. He even found the way you said his name strange, the way you pronounced it was interesting, and he was almost tempted to ask you to say it again just so he could pinpoint the intonations a little more.

“Such as?”

Alhaitham didn’t hear you speak for a few seconds, but he paused his reading and looked you in the eye, deadpan and serious.

“I understand where you’re coming from. You believe being with me would be like, giving in, or something. That you accept that you are somewhat deficient and you need something to fill the gap in you.” you paused then, letting your words sink in with him, he couldn’t hide the way his poker face broke for a second. He certainly wasn’t expecting something insightful right this moment, and perhaps a tiny part of him felt touched that you weren’t undermining his thoughts as people had.

“But that’s not how I see it, I don’t see you as a person who needs me to complete him. The bond is simply the notion that we complement each other. We are a pair, Alhaitham. You cannot escape it, but being a pair doesn’t mean that we are broken halves of a whole. I wouldn’t be able to be with someone so lacking and neither would you.”

He let your explanation sink in, disappointment settling in the pit of his stomach.

“You are overlooking very important variables. It takes so many different factors to shape a person, how could anyone be certain with so many uncontrolled variables that the person will then grow to be their most complementary partner? Maybe my upbringing shaped me in a way that is simply not suitable to you. Maybe there is someone out there that suits you more. But you are letting a mark decide your future, how predictable.” came his reply, scathing, upfront. You seemed to contemplate his words for a few seconds, before slowly nodding.

“I see, but I will still believe in us. Just as deity’s watch over us and grant us visions, perhaps they are also aware of what our future holds and I will believe in their benevolence in pairing people-” he saw you fidget, saw your eyes avoid his penetrating gaze for two seconds before you resumed, once again resolute “-and just as you are unwavering in your beliefs, I will be unwavering in trying to prove to you that you and me belong together.”

If Alhaitham was a more emotionally impressionable man, he might’ve described his feelings in this moment as butterflies as you proudly proclaimed your intentions. He isn’t however, and he decided it’s rather an annoyance having you here.

He went back to his book, deciding this conversation to be over.

--------------

Entry 4, date xx

It’s unfortunate yet understandable that research guidelines forbid me from using my own personal experience in my research. It won’t deter me from writing these entries, detailing my experience, so that someone in the future picking up this kind of research may have at least one detailed example. It’s hard to find people who do not conform to the standard of being with their soulmates upon discovering them, even if it means divorce, relocation etc. This makes academic studies that challenge the status quo quite difficult. In time, I do believe that people will move to treating soulmarks with more lukewarm expectations.

My ‘soulmate’, a fellow researcher at the Akademiya, takes a stance quite oppositional to mine. Time did not deter her from pursuing me, nor her endless attempts at gaining my favour. It’s been a hassle, only made me wish I’d been born markless even more.

Some of her attempts included, but were not limited to

Buying me things. Such as a coffee (one of my more favoured drinks) when I’d fall asleep in the library, and resisting the temptation of consuming the beverage in my disoriented state was quite difficult, and wasteful. Consuming it does not therefore warrant any form of affection. Although it is peculiar that she always managed to find me at my most vulnerable.

Dispelling rumours about me. Quite useless, as I never cared what people said or thought of me, she was better off focusing on her pressing research. This asserts that soulmates are not more suited to each other than any average pair on the street, as assuming we have this telepathic connection would mean that people finding me unapproachable is rather helpful for me. Needless to say this method of hers was the least useful.

Always talking to me. Though her tactics changed over the years. She no longer makes small talk, or attempts to change my mind. She now attempts to use my hobbies to make my brain associate her with my interests. She brings up books that I’d borrowed, sparks a discussion on them that would leave me no choice but to respond to her avid attempts at dialogue. She impressively did seem to digest the contents of the books quite well, and my enthusiasm when conversing about say, “How Language is a Tool of Policing”, does not equate to my favour.

Buying me books.

This list seems to be getting needlessly long, and upon further thought it’s rather useless, so I will deign to stop.

-----------------

A group of scholars trekked along the Avidiya forest, mostly Amurta students, so it’s no wonder you are there. Alhaitham is one of the few odd ones out, but considering his penchant for knowledge and innate curiosity, it's no wonder he’s there. Reading about different biological life forms in the rainforest is useful enough, but seeing with his own two eyes is a must. A few samples to test certain herbal effects would also be quite beneficial.

He looked around, taking in his surroundings. Green eyes took in the scenery, beautiful mosses and grandiose trees, aged and chipped and hanging a shadow over them, so massive that the humans beneath it looked to be of no special significance.

His eyes inadvertently landed on you. You were bundled closely to another Amurta student, one with fennec fox features. His shoulders were touching yours as his eyes drank up the papers in your hands with curiosity, and you didn’t seem to mind as you smiled and pointed at certain parts, talking animatedly.

Alhaitham curled up a grey eyebrow at the way the guy’s tail seemed one step away from wagging, what an inconvenient appendage to have.

He showed his notes to you, pointing at different places in the forest and pointing back to his notes, talking excitedly. You nodded, adding an input here and there, this discussion of yours seems very interesting. Perhaps he should move closer to hear what you and the star of Amurta seem to be discussing with so much excitement.

Alhaitham, who was previously intentionally lagging behind the group, with several steps was within a hearing distance between you and Tighnari. However, he was irked to know that he could hear nothing because you two, although animated, were speaking in hushed tones as if disclosing a secret in broad daylight.

With carefully measured steps, he weaved himself even closer, but not close enough to arouse suspicion. From this angle, he could see the way the so called star of Amurta’s long conspicuous ears pricked in your direction, unwilling to miss a single word out of your mouth.

“You’re so lucky Tighnari, Amurta is very lucky to have someone with your constitution, but trying out different mushrooms seems quite fun” you said, starry eyed at the so called Tighnari, all over some mushrooms? Alhaitham knows a lot about rainforest mushrooms, as any scholar should. Maybe the standards for Amurta Darshan are just lower these days.

“Well you’re in luck, I found a way to minimise the effects of the mushrooms by taking a small sample and boiling it, so if you’re quite interested you can come around to my place so we can test different mushrooms together.” Tighnari said, tone bordering on gloating as he seemed quite prideful in his discovery.

To Alhaitham’s chagrin, you nodded with child-like excitement, have you taken leave of your senses? This endeavour seems so dangerous and yet you’ve agreed to it without a second thought to your safety, or perhaps there’s another reason for your excitement.

Alhaitham can imagine it perfectly. You’d look at Tighnari with glassy eyes, flushed appearance, softly panting as you declare that the mushrooms seem especially potent-

No.

Time spent daydreaming is time wasted, and this same logic applies to thoughts of you. What you get up to is none of his concern, and who you get up to it with as well. He’s not with you in sickness or health, so he cares not if you possess either.

Alhaitham is despondent at the fact that one cannot tread the rainforest while reading a book. It’s naturally a recipe for disaster, as he might trip and fall and damage his book in an act of foolishness. It’s regrettable however, as your own foolishness has rendered him unable to fully take in his surroundings.

The group is taken to the camp as the sun bids adieu and the moon illuminates the rainforest in a faint light, making the shadows appear much more ominous as they towered and arched over the students.

Alhaitham pulled out his book, fully intending to consume his meal with the company of the pages in his hands, but you had other ideas, seeming to finally remember your mission of pestering him whenever you are in his presence.

“So, how did you find today’s trip?” always starting out with meaningless small talk, perhaps you are hoping he will one day humour you.

“It’s been great till now.” clipped and curt, as usual.

“Did you find it informative? It’s been great seeing so many different rainforest life forms. Maybe I should work for a few months here after finishing my thesis, if only to get more acquainted with the life forms. But I won’t do that before I sort things out.” you kept your words vague, but Alhaitham could sense the meaning hidden beneath them. You won’t move until you make this soulmate dream of yours a reality. He’s been rejecting you, and here you are making life plans around him, trying carefully to make him fit in with your plans. Planning the course of your life around him.

Choosing to conceal the reality of his day, he replies with an affirmative hum. You got the memo, choosing to open your packed food and eat, most likely busy with your own thoughts, while Alhaitham entertains his own.

------------

Entry 90, date xx.

This might prove to be a complete coincidence, and I’m confused as to why it’s occurring myself, despite my investigations and various attempts at isolating and looking at different variables.

In the years I have known who my soulmate is, I have been dreaming. Eerily, my dreams usually concern her in one way or the other, so it must be something related to our bond. In my last dream, I can vaguely remember a warm feeling in my belly, as ambiguous as that sounds. I laid my head on her lap, reading, while she soothingly caressed my hair. Disappointingly, I do not recall the contents of the book, only the warm caress of her fingers that lulled me into a feeling of comfort.

The feelings of my dreams however, I am certain, do not carry on into my daylight hours.

Maybe I must admit I am somewhat impressed by her tenacity and persistence, perhaps that feeling is causing my subconscious to confuse the nature of our relationship?

-----------------

Alhaitham is tired of whatever farce you are trying to play.

You are like a migraine to him, your arrival always a nuisance, a pain, and wholly unwelcome. You do not respect his choices, opinions. Your existence frustrates him, and he cares not that you always take great care not to cause him trouble. Your actions, while deceptively helpful, greatly annoy the scribe.

This year, his attempts at dissuading you have gotten rather harsh. This is because he can no longer afford you indifference. This can be traced back to when you left a cake on his desk. Congratulating him on his new role as scribe. The flavour was not overly sweet, it’s something he would usually enjoy consuming, but the feelings borne within his chest at the sentimental message written on the cake caused him to pause. The moths swarming his belly did not make sense, his response did not make sense. The cogs that always efficiently turned in his head seemed to clog at the thought of you.

An uncharacteristic rage blinded him that day, he did not feel this way in his life before, and when he sat reflecting on his now emptier desk after harshly dumping the cake in the bin facing his office, he thought that the new found nuisance in his life is more troublesome than he previously predicted.

One day, a golden opportunity seemed to land on his lap. A one in a million lucky chance. Though Alhaitham thinks a lucky chance is only one if you can reap the benefits it brings you.

It was a pleasant night, the air, while warm, was comfortable as cooler wind blew inside the tavern and ruffled his hair slightly. He was drinking alone, a choice he made as the comfort of his own thoughts was something he needed. He’d be able to ruminate in peace, had the cause of his irritation not found him once again.

“Oh my, hi Alhaitham. We keep running into each other, it’s almost like fate huh” you greeted, plopping yourself beside him, calling to the bartender to pass you a drink too, signalling the start of Alhaitham’s misfortune. So nonchalantly confident, your head always held up high around him, as if his attitude towards you is a mere playing hard to get.

He opened his lips, a scathing reply at the tip of them, until another irritation called out his name jarringly.

He turned his head, as several others did before minding their own business after briefly casting them curious looks.

“Soo this is where you spend your time! You could have invited me, you know.” some women from the Akademiya sat to his left, batting her lashes at him in what he assumes is her way of being coy and attractive.

He was halfway into finishing his drink. It’s a shame he’ll have to retire early as his night no longer holds the promise of peace. However, upon seeing you casting them a curious look, silent for once in your life, he got a much more brilliant idea.

It takes a genius to turn a stroke of misfortune into a lucky chance.

Although having never indulged in this sort of useless and amateurish behaviour, likening it to some sort of primitive mating call, Alhaitham is adaptable and a great actor when it comes to securing his own peace.

“Sorry honey, I’ve been somewhat preoccupied. Surely I can make it up to you” he feigned a cordial look, eyes raking through her figure. She’s not really his type. Her lap didn’t seem comfortable to lay his head on, and even the shape of her fingernails seemed to turn him off. Coincidently, some of your physical features are rather favourable to him, especially the shade of your eyes. Her voice also sounds grating, and he wished she'd never say his name again. But he put up with it, and even went as far is to brush his hand on her upper thigh, his implications clear.

His reply took you and her by surprise, shocked faces at the tone no one heard from the blunt scribe before, but her shock quickly morphed to glee.

“Of course! I’m not one to hold grudges” she scooted closer to him, and he quickly wondered if this was worth it, or a detour into wasting even more of his time, especially as her hands reached out and touched his shoulder, rendering him wordless with the awkwardness of having to tolerate her invasive touches.

He glanced at you, and your frozen made you look stuck in your spot, in disbelief, surely it’s not preposterous that he might pursue someone else? His lips willfully thinned though, when he saw how your previously frozen eyes melted into a volcano, rage swimmed within them, as your brows scrunched disapprovingly. He’d never seen you look like this, even when he threw all your attempts back in your face all those years. He’d never seen you look like you wished the ground would open and swallow him, and his gut twisted uncomfortably at the thought.

Perhaps this was all it really took to have you leave him be. He wondered why he never took this approach before.

He cast furtive glances at the other women speaking, unwilling to break this facade now, but he found that the air after you left seemed much more cold.

“You can stop bothering me now. Whatever you think could happen between us isn’t going to, but it was amusing seeing you gullible you could be.” he spoke while nursing another drink, his eyes not even meeting hers, though she might find this to be in her benefit. Although his clipped words were missing their usual edge, it still had the desired effect.

“You jerk, do you think you’re too good for me? I was willing to tolerate your dry personality because you had a pretty face, but your head is bigger than I thought. Bring yourself down to earth, at this rate you’re going to die alone and miserable as you always have been.”

People’s words never bothered him, and even now they do not. He chooses to live his life the way he chooses, and people’s opinions will never change his pursuit of personal peace. However, he found it interesting that one rejection from him caused her to spout so much venom at him, when years of him doing that to you didn’t have this effect. Is it that you’re patient? Level headed? Kind? Well, more like hopelessly foolish.

---------------

Entry 1023, date xx

For the past month, I haven’t seen much of her. It seems that before, she went out of her way to run into me. Ever since the night at the tavern, her pursuit seemed to end completely. This is what I wanted for years, isn’t it? I have finally achieved the desired results.

I am still as whole as the day I was born, I don’t feel lacking. I am fine.

-----------

Alhaitham finished up writing the latest entry, closing the journal and putting it inside his drawer. As he stretched, he caught sight of his face.

His facial hair seems to be growing out, painting his face in a five o’clock shadow. He stroked the coarseness, wondering why he’d missed his usual schedule of trimming.

He shook the creeping thoughts away, approaching his bed to finally get a much needed rest. He needs to clear the pesky thoughts away, so that he may finally enjoy the books he’s been meaning to read. You’d probably have something insightful to say about them, you usually seemed to.

Curses, why must his own brain betray him?

Sleep, when it finally came, was not peaceful.

He was frantically opening every door in his house, searching for something. Opening doors, searching, repeating.

The violent cycle went on, his heart falling every time his mysterious search reaped nothing.

He shook awake, panting so loudly that he wondered briefly whether he performed a strenuous exercise in his sleep, if the erratic thumping of his heart was any clue. It banged painfully against his ribs. His hair clung to his forehead, and his face felt suspiciously wet. He needs to calm down, so that he may analyse the cause of his restless sleep and eliminate it. But his brain stubbornly shut down, and Alhaitham's throat traitorously clogged up.

Deep breath. A response like this might not be any cause for alarm. Deep breath. Emotional hysterics will solve nothing. Deep breath.

Why do the walls feel like they are closing in on him?

-------------------

It’s been 4 months and 6 days since Alhaitham saw you. Or heard from you.

This period is incredibly unusual, you never went so long without speaking to him. Is the thought of him pursuing another woman truly all it took to throw you off? Perhaps he gave your persistence undeserving credit. He wishes he could hear your thoughts, stumble into a journal of yours. If only to see whether his hypothesis proved right, that once you realised this you too came to your senses and realised you could lead a happy life without him.

His inability to know filled him with bitterness, yet why is he feeling such when he prided himself on only speculating things of importance? His frustration made him gnaw on his lips.

“I do think they look good together, she should take her chance with him”

Dimwits gossiping in the library might be the last straw, why is it that people can’t save their idle chatter for a more appropriate place?

“Yeah, but doesn’t (y/n) have a soulmark? This could end disastrously.”

What?

“Yeah but, it’s quite rare for soulmates to find each other nowadays, she shouldn’t waste her chance because of something that might never be.”

Who? And when did this happen?

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Alhaitham’s brain, if possible, might melt. An overload of thoughts, information, noises, all overstimulating him. But if he thought hard enough, it’s quite clear that this is another tactic of yours. You’ve gotten quite clever. It cannot be a mere coincidence that this gossip found its way to his ears, you must be trying to ignite some irrational feeling within him, jealousy.

Too bad he’ll never give you the satisfaction of seeing him this way.

He closed his book, a mere decoration at this point, and walked out of the library, thinking a walk would help clear his head.

“Yeah, he seems quite taken by her, I think he is seriously courting her.”

No matter what hallway he’s in, what direction he pivots to, the building of the Akademiya itself seems to be buzzing with talks of you and some guy. You’ve put a lot of effort into this farce of yours, did you take in the consequences? When this blows over, your dignity as a scholar would surely never recover. You’d be known as a gossipmonger.

Days have passed however, and the talk showed no sign of stopping. You and a wealthy sponsor of the Akademiya, who hails from Fontaine. He’d fallen in love with you, is courting you, and everything trivial inbetween. When did you even have time to catch the eye of someone so apparently important? It’s implausible, and incredibly petty.

Why are you nowhere to be found now?

--------------

Statistically, Alhaitham knows that it’s impossible not to have run into you by now. Unless you have been going out of your way to avoid him. He even changed his usual seating spot in the library, thinking that maybe he’d find you away from his corner. He’s been roaming in the city the past month more than he had in a year.

The worst thing is that he didn’t understand why he was going so far to find you. It defied logic itself, his persistence. It’s none of his business what you do, so he should give up while he’s at it. Come back to his senses, and live out his peace.

You seemed to haunt him though, and as his tired teal eyes roamed the cafe on his way once more, fate seemed to drop him a little trinket.

He squinted his eyes, seeing the familiarly patterned, maroon scarf that you always wore when it got a bit chilly. He rushed inside the cafe, eyes zeroed on it. Before looking outside once more in search of your figure. He’d probably just missed you.

The rational choice would be to hand over the scarf to the workers, you’d probably come in search of it, but before rationale could halt him, he took the scarf and left, but not before catching a whiff of your familiar scent.

This would give him a reasonable excuse to talk to you, you can’t refuse an act of goodwill from him right? He thought back, trying to find a single moment in which he’d done you a favour and not the reverse.

His stomach sank as he realised that he’d in fact never done a single act of goodwill towards you, he’d spared you nothing but harsh words of rejection and belittlement.

Perhaps this is why he’s been searching for you, to try and ease this feeling of guilt that hasn’t left him since you completely erased your existence out of his life. You’d made home in every corner of his life, trying to make it a little more bearable. You were a sacrifice to his philosophy, it couldn’t be any other way, because Alhaitham is equally stubborn, he’d never give in to the will of someone else who’s ordained how he must live his life.

But for now, he’ll take this scarf home, knowing deep down that he doesn’t intend to return it.

-------------

Alhaitham sat on the couch near his bed, watching perplexed as you made out with a clone of him. Your fingers tangled in his grey strands, beautiful, naked body straddling him, as if you were trying to become one with him, merge your being with his so that he may never try and discard you. Your lips moulded with his own, and he’d returned the favour with equal fervour.

Only, his grey hair began darkening from the roots down, becoming a pitch black colour. You pulled away, and he watched horrified as his clone’s face melted like clay, only to be reconstructed as the face of a stranger. You however appeared indifferent, eyes soulless and lacking the tenacity you seemed to possess earlier.

He stood up to try and take you away, but an invisible force pulled him back, leaving him only to thrash while a stranger held you, and you let him.

You let the stranger cradle your body, indifference melting into a bittersweet smile as your lips found his.

Alhaitham’s eyes stung, and he tried closing them to shield himself from the sight as you let a stranger make love to you, but he couldn’t. His eyes were made to be peeled wide upon as he watched and heard you, and his wrist burned, heart ached. But through it all, he’d only wished that you’d stop and look at him again.

But you didn’t, your eyes didn’t leave the stranger's body, not until they rolled back in ecstasy while you used his body for your pleasure. The strangers hands caressed you, and strummed your pleasure to a tune that only produced the most melodious sounds out of you.

Tears started falling down his cheeks. But he still couldn’t close his eyes.

Alhaitham opened his eyes, feeling like a dam had broken on his pillow as the moistness in his eyes blurred his vision.

He rubbed his tears away, but they wouldn’t stop, not for as long as he remembered his nightmare. You, so close, making love to someone else while he was forced to watch and hear.

Why did he have to be tormented even in dreams?

His heart hammered away so loudly that it felt like drums to his ears, his lungs refused to operate as an unbearable feeling of pain overwhelmed him. He pulled his knees to his chest as he willed his shivering to stop, the moon staring mercilessly at him as he rocked back and forth.

He suddenly remembered a find of his, and with a blurry vision he fished out your scarf, holding it up to his nose to breathe in the scent he’d been denied. He rubbed away his tears, not wanting to stain your scarf with it, and like something beyond reason his tears had stopped.

His sleep was dreamless after that.

-------------

Entry 1800, date xx

Dreams have been tormenting my nights, and reality torments my day. Why does it feel like I’m being continuously punished? Were my ideas so cardinally sinful that the deity’s above have taken to cause me misery?

I have once again devolved to foolish thoughts. It’s my thoughts that torment me, not any higher power.

If she’s anything to go by, then I guess my hypothesis has been proven correct. She no longer seeks me out, hasn’t done so in 8 months. When I catch a glimpse of her, it’s so brief it’s almost like a phantom. I do hear of her though, that she’s happy with another man. That they might move back to Fontaine together at this rate, that this might not be fling. She’d succeeded in something no one has succeeded at before her. She left her soulmate behind and pursued her own path. I was never needed.

The idea that she might move to Fontaine is rather far fetched though, as she is still a researcher, and this is but only one relationship. Moving to a completely new homeland to pursue such a fresh relationship is completely spontaneous and irresponsible. Especially considering she would need to abandon many of her projects.

They will most likely break up, they might not, only time will tell. But for the time being, she seems to have moved on.

-----------

Alhaitham’s haggard figure trekked through the Sumeru, eyes a dull green that looked sombre as he glanced through the stalls. Malnutrition is the most likely cause of the way he’s had no energy lately, even his bones seemed to ache in protest.

With a fresh bag of groceries in hand, Alhaitham walked back home, eyes downcast and somewhat soulless. He needs to cook today, needs to eat something and get on with his life. He needs to.

With his downcast eyes and general disinterest, he almost missed the crowd of awed bystanders forming a ring around two people. With one furtive glance, he deemed it not worth his time, until he caught sight of the second star of the show.

It’s you. Standing there. It’s finally you. Light seemed to come back to his eyes, if only for a brief second before horror overtook them.

It’s you, standing there, with a man kneeling on the floor proposing to you. A crowd of people all around you two, smiling, anticipating, gasping.

It’s you, nodding your head as another man puts a ring on your finger, his pitch dark hair and features nothing like Alhaitham, with one look Alhaitham can surmise that he’s everything Alhaitham could never be. His smiling face charms everyone in sight, he’s like a star that everyone wants to be near to bask in his aura.

Alhaitham doesn’t have the vocabulary to describe such a raw feeling with medical terms, but if he can be sentimental, he might be able to say that his soul hurts.

------------

Dear (y/n),

The Akademiya is currently lacking in capable personnel, and as the scribe I had been entrusted with alleviating this issue using records of capable individuals. You had many great works under your belt, and I understand that our personal matters might’ve driven you away to Fontaine, but I find it rather immature that you’d go so far and abandon your responsibilities to pursue a relationship.

Please consider coming back, as the Akademiya is willing to offer you a new position that you might find to be to your liking, the job benefits are numerous such as a large residence in Sumeru and a very high salary with many days of paid leave. Please contact me for more information.

Alhaitham

-----------------

Dear (y/n),

I have received your letter of rejection.

Perhaps the salary wasn’t to your liking? The Akademiya is willing to double it, all your research projects will be fully funded and approved and you may pick up where you left off without any hassle. Any additional requirements could be negotiated, it would surely not be ideal to disregard such a promising career and job title in the Darshan you have dedicated years to.

I apologise for any harsh words I have previously said to you, sometimes, well, most times my pride gets the best of me and I end up hurting people with my words. I would like to say that I never meant to hurt you, but at the time I did and I do feel quite regretful. Our personal matters should never be a reason for you to reject such a great offer. I understand that you are in a committed relationship, but you shouldn’t be discouraged to pursue other paths so early on in your life.

Alhaitham

--------------

Dear (y/n),

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I would apologise for every second I disregarded you if it means you might come back. I would give you anything. I’m sorry I didn’t before, and that it took me so long.

I’m pathetic, foolish, unworthy, and every derogatory term on this earth. But I also love you. I’m sorry it took having nothing of you in my life but a scarf you’d forgotten to realise that I love you.

When I sit in the corner of the library, I always save a seat next to me, hoping by some miracle you’d show up again. That you’d sit there again, laughing, smiling at me like you’d sucked all the warmth out of the sun, and this time I’d smile at you back until my cheeks hurt because you have come to mean happiness to me.

I’ve loved you for every single year I’d known you, and for every single season, there was no one ever but you. Please believe me, I’d never pursued any relationships, it was only ever you that occupied my heart and thoughts. That woman you saw at the tavern wasn’t someone I was seeing, and I rejected her after, even if this meagre show of loyalty is too little too late. I was a fool that day, I was angry at my feelings, at the way my heart and brain were in complete incoordination that I took her advances to try and hurt you. I didn’t even touch her, she meant nothing to me, I wish I didn’t show up to the tavern that day so then maybe you’d still be in my life.

Nothing fills the vacuum you left behind, my heart. I cried so much the day you left that it felt like I’d never stop crying.

I tried to deny something so wonderful, and when my wish was granted I declared that I want you back. You must think I’m the most selfish man you’ve ever known. I might be. I’m sorry I rejected you and denied my feelings for so long, but please, will you come back and return the colour to my life? I will never take you for granted again.

Please come back, I’m begging you.

Alhaitham

-------------

Alhaitham walked around the labyrinth, nothing but the moonlight guiding him on his quest to find you. He’s frantic, rushing around from one dead end to another.

And then he finds you, laying there, in the centre, bushes and greenery enveloping you, and you seemed happy to see him, because your cheeks quirked up and eyes crinkled in a smile that he’d been deprived of for long enough to realise it’s as essential as oxygen to him.

He ran to you, breaking you free of your binds, enveloping you in his arms before kissing your lips in reverence as if he worships you. He kisses you, not stopping until he realises that you aren’t responding, and that you’ve gone cold in his arms.

-----------------

Alhaitham stared at the piling documents in front of him, eyes bloodshot and blurry. He’s glad that no one usually approaches him, for he must look like he squabble with the grim reaper last night.

He sighed, hand going to his chest, rubbing it in a vain attempt to soothe the ache there. You didn’t reply to any of his letters. Why would you? He’s truly a piece of work to attempt to contact you after all he’s done to you over the years.

He doesn’t know how long he can go on like this, but he knows for certain that he’s become the villain of his own story. His hubris and pride have pulled him down to a hell that he lives in everyday. He mocked soul mates all his life for travelling for miles to be together, for quitting jobs, getting divorced, all for a fated person. Alhaitham cannot look down on them any more, because if you don’t respond to him soon he will run to Fontaine and grovel until you spare him a single glance, and then he will finally feel like he’s found his Oasis after being stuck in a never ending desert.

It feels like a knife stabbing his chest whenever he thinks of you in another land, married to another man, loving him and being loved by him in a way Alhaitham will never experience. But he brought this on himself, how can he blame you? He drove you into someone else’s arms.

He touched his forehead, feeling somewhat feverish. He’s felt drained the past few weeks, but especially so after the dream he’d last had. His entire body is aching, and his breaths feel shallow, but if he plans to try to go to Fontaine he’d better start working now.

Alhaitham opens the documents on his desk, diligently working on one after the other until his eyes land on the freshest arrivals.

Alhaitham doesn’t fully remember what happened after that, but he remembers reading the words that shattered his entire world before his vision faded to black.

“The student and faculty body is urgently requesting the papers to be processed to allow the body of (y/n) to be transferred to Sumeru to be buried in her homeland after her tragic murder. please…”

--------------

Alhaitham opened his eyes to an unfamiliar sight, the air felt sanitised and the sheets scratchy, alarming him to abruptly sit up, causing his head to feel light and vision to get hazy again.

A nurse rushed over to him, calming him down and informing him of his condition.

He was fatigued and had a fever, overwork and a mental shock took a toll on him and he passed out. That won’t do, he must get back to work so he can go after (y/n).

(y/n)...

His brain was refusing to process what he read, it must be a sick joke. A fucked up prank. You’re in Fontaine, happy and married, or perhaps still engaged. He hopes you’re still only engaged.

He turns to the nurse who still held a worried look on her face, brown eyes crinkled in worry over a stranger. You’d give him this look sometimes too.

“I’m alright. I’m going home to rest now.” he didn’t.

He went back to the Akademiya, back to his office, to check that this was not reality, only one of the many nightmares that had been haunting him. He wasn’t the most devout man in his life, but for the first time in his life he made a prayer. Please let him have another chance, please don’t make him live this, don’t take her away from me this way.

Fate was cruel.

Alhaitham faced the reality living out before him. He looked down, his wrist trembling, he’s been so afraid to look for the longest time, knowing he undeserving he was of it, but now he needs to, he needs to confirm.

He turned his wrist, the mark on it has lost all colour, it’s now darker than any night Alhaitham had lived.

------------------

You left this world, he chants in his head, rocking back and forth.

His room looked like a testament of destruction, everything was smashed, papers ripped, books destroyed, everything he faced didn’t survive to tell the tale.

You left him alone in this world.

The house and Sumeru itself never felt too big for one person, but now he feels like he’s drowning amidst the populace, his world never felt duller and more lonely, he faintly remembers a familiar pricking of loneliness when his grandmother passed. The mere prick had transformed into a tidal wave that’s drowning him under, and Alhaitham can’t breath amidst the saltwater.

Did you even read his letters? Did you at least die knowing he loves you?

He holds his pounding head in his hands, crushed at the thought of you dying with the thought that he doesn’t care about you. Did you forgive him as you took your last breath? Or did you despise him tenfold?

You were killed, how could anyone think of hurting you? Since when was the world so cruel?

It’s all Alhaitham’s fault, if he hadn’t pushed you towards that man, you would never have left with him, if only he thought for a second, if only his hubris didn’t cloud his logic.

His heart had died that day, but he couldn’t find it in him to stand up and attend the funeral.

-----------------

“This is the book that brought us together my love, I still remember. If I recall far enough I can even describe the feeling of your fingers brushing against mine.” Alhaitham mutters, making himself comfortable beside you, this is the closest he will get to reading in your embrace, so he might as well make himself comfortable against the harsh slab of rock that has become your home.

“I should have let you have it, or perhaps suggested we read it together? I should have invited you to pupsa cafe that day and introduced you as my soulmate to the owner. I can’t undo that, no longer am I able to agonise about the past, so now this is my attempt of redoing it. I hope you can forgive me.” he said, tracing the soil as tears lined his lashes, he brought you some flowers too, this is his first time bringing you flowers.

“I’ll read the book out to you, alright?” and so Alhaitham flicks the book open.

He reads out until his throat hurts, and the position of the sun changes, until the wind becomes more biting and harsh, and the song of nature becomes louder. He’s got the protection of your scarf, but it pains him even more that your scent has nearly fully faded away.

He flicks the book closed, asking you about it, but of course you can never respond, nor can you even hear him when you're resting in silence six feet under.

Humans are truly curious creatures, Alhaitham can admit he’s no exception. Their actions can never be truly calculated, uncontrolled variables cloud their existence. Most people accept the benefits that come with having a chosen one ordained by the stars, they weep in joy as a fated lover sweeps them under.

Some like Alhaitham do not. They justify the rationale of a lonely existence, disregard a fate carved for them by an unknown force, they refuse to become one with the herd. However, one doesn’t discover true loneliness until they discover what it’s like to bask in the joys of companionship. Such simple acts like drinking coffee together while you both read, the comfort of knowing that you’re always nearby, ready to intervene when you think life is becoming too troublesome for him, the celebratory gifts, the laughs and smiles, they are all so incredibly mundane. But love is not so otherworldly, because if so, then the masses would never get to experience it. Your simple acts of love towards him are things he shall never experience again. The truth, something he always pursued with endless disregard for people’s feelings, is now too bitter for him to accept.

Did Alhaitham’s world always look so grey? Why is loss so hard to comprehend? It might have something to do with the fact that you were never his to lose.

He’s like a child, chasing after a kite that he can never have within his grasp again, nature’s will is too strong.

The people at the Akademiya have moved on, tales and gossip surrounding your death dimmed from gasp-inducing tales to idle chatter, and now time has moved on and you were simply a topic out of season. It makes him mad, the way your friends can so easily laugh without looking at the vacant spot in their groups, how could the world so easily move on when Alhaitham is still left behind, clinging on to an outdated calendar?

His anger has long disappeared though, it left nothing but the bitter sting of regret, regret for what wasn’t and for what now couldn’t be. It took him too long to realise that the bentos dumped in trashes could have been dinners he came home to, made not expertly but with love. That seeing you barefoot in his kitchen after he left his work on the dot was a daydream worth chasing after. He grips the flask in his hand, throat feeling parched for release, mind desperate to finally leave this nightmare behind and rest.

“They say soulmates are binded in every life, their souls marking their bodies in an attempt to find their missing half. Do you think in the next life, we can be together? It’s too cruel to think that this is the end, so I entertain myself with such musings sometimes to comfort myself.”

Too preoccupied and swarmed with thoughts, Alhaitham failed to notice the shadow approaching him until its figure stood in front of him. He lifts his head, taking in the elderly lady who’s gentle countenance and wise wrinkled eyes reminded him so much of his grandmother that he nearly asked for an embrace.

“Are you alright young man, you’ve been in this cold for a while haven’t you? I’m sure your loved one would want you to be happy and warm.'' Her soothing tone nearly made Alhaitham break into sobs, confessing that he’s never known warmth since you took all of it away when you became cold. He became cold too, after all he is your other half.

He smiled, a smile so sincere that it looked off on his usually sombre face, and a hint of warmth seemed to return to him. He fingered the flask in his hand, his eyes hinting the grief bottled up inside of him.

“Don’t worry, I will be, it shouldn’t take too long.”

----------------

“It’s been several years since the tragedy of the couple in mention, and while a difficult decision, we have decided a few months ago to look at their case to study the phenomenon of soulmates and their correlation to dreaming.” The aged lecturer spoke, voice low and hinting at the deep seriousness of the matter. The hall is silent, many having memories of the two, and while the murder of (y/n) shook many to their core, the unseen bond that you had to the Akademiya’s scribe made the tale truly a tragedy. Others, the more clueless ones who didn’t quite know the two, cast curious glances around. With time, there will be no need to pay homage to the tragedy of the matter, your bond will not be commemorated for how loving or sad it was, but it will be documented for Academic research. In a way, you and Alhaitham will live on and be remembered as a pair, though not the way either of you intended.

“The various notes left behind by the two, Alhaitham’s in particular, took especially long to go through, and some transcriptions had to be salvaged. This study proved useful to the hypothesis that soulmates are more prone to dreaming because of the connection that they share. Many researchers have gone further to assert that it might be that the link between them links their subconscious and the hyper activity across this link stimulates shared dreams. The feelings of the pair experienced during daylight muddled together during their sleep-” the lecturer pauses to take a deep breath, flicking through the lecture notes “-and produced dreams that were shared by the two, and seemed to be directly influenced by both their feelings.” he let that information sink in before resuming.

“For example, as seen in page 34, Alhaitham was avid in documenting anything related to his soulmate, yet it seemed he was completely unaware, as most people wouldn’t be, that the day he dreamt of her having intercourse with someone else was the same day that she in fact did. We can thus somewhat deduce that this dream was influenced by her feelings regarding the-” he paused momentarily, thinking of an appropriate phrasing “-her feelings regarding the act.”

“The dreams they had, interestingly, sometimes reflected their feelings towards each other more honestly than their daylight hours and dialogue. Their bond can never be broken by rejection, it seemed. They still found a way of subconsciously communicating. Their case has become a hot topic of research, especially in regards to soulmates and dreams respectively.”

The lecturer felt somewhat forlorn, knowing that endless lecture notes on the two came at the expense of something they will never get to experience.

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lijojo · 9 months

Text

how the genshin men rizz you up

premise: although you two have been dating for some time now, they never keep trying to charm you. what are ways your boyfriend keeps you on your toes?

WILL get into your favorite books/shows and try to copy your favorite characters

sometimes while you’re just chilling, he’ll walk into the room reading one of your books or having your favorite show playing on his phone. and because your tastes aren’t always shared, you’ll raise an eyebrow in question. “i thought you didn’t like it.”

he doesn’t say anything, just merely shrugs at you and simply goes on with his day. and after that point, whenever you try to playfully glance over his shoulder, he flinches away. you’re confused, but don’t really say anything else. you trust him. if he didn’t want you to know, you’d respect that.

you’d never expect two weeks later to be greeted with the sight of him with a fake rose in his mouth dressed as your favorite character you’d been gushing to him about for the past two months. you’re 100% sure he ordered his costume right off of amazon, with the way it barely fits him.

“why hello there,” he greets, still with the flower in-between his teeth. outstretched in his hand is a bag of your favorite candies. there’s something about his wig that makes this situation seem unreal. even if your favorite character shared the same hair color as him, he still puts on the wig, as if to really sell it to you.

you don’t even bother trying to stifle your laugh. if your carrying anything, you drop it immediately to bend down, cradling your stomach. “oh my god,” you say in-between chortles, wiping away a stray tear, “you are so cute.”

he pouts. “is it not good?”

you can barely contain your smile. “it’s perfect.”

“but you’re laughing. you’re not supposed to do that. you’re supposed to get flustered and play along while i sweep you off your feet.”

you tenderly take the candies out of his hands and put it on the table, placing his terribly-placed wig down along with it. running your hands through his hair, you kiss him softly. he’s quick to reciprocate, quietly moaning and cupping your jaw. he matches your pace, if not a little more eager.

“don’t you worry, you do that already.”

alhaitham, zhongli, gorou, tighnari, scaramouche, xiao, thoma, ayato, baizhu

bluntly expresses his feelings towards you

almost painfully so.

“you look sexy in that hoodie.”

“i know,” you reply monotonously. “i also know that we’re in a grocery store right now and there are children here.”

he’s not always straightforward about his thoughts, but on days he’s feeling especially affectionate, the words slip right through.

“listen, i just think the way you wear them is really cute. not anyone can pull it off, you know? but you do it so effortlessly. it makes your butt look super squeezable,” he comments, grinning when you give him a glare. “your face in general is just very hot. it’s just my type. i didn’t even know i had a type. i think i have a crush on you, honestly.” he leans his head on your shoulder, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. “you always know how to make me feel like a nervous teenager all over again.”

“that’s very sweet,” you say with a chaste kiss on his cheek, “but i don’t know if saying this in the middle of the self-checkout is appropriate.”

he huffs, scanning the fruits and vegetables. “it’s fine if the children hear that, though, right? it’ll teach them to be more expressive.”

“i guess that’s true,” you humor him, “still, i’d appreciate it if we could enjoy this moment where it’s quieter.”

he contemplates before nodding. “okay, if that’s what you want.” he fixes his posture. “anything for you.”

you smile. “thank you.”

when you get home, he continues to shower you in compliments. as he takes the large haul of groceries out of the car, he rambles. like a puppy, he trails after you as you unlock the door to your shared house, letting him inside to put all of your groceries on the dining table.

“i just don’t think i appreciate you enough,” he mutters. “whenever you get me coffee in the mornings, i never thank you, but you spoil me as if i did anyway. i know sometimes i get mad at you for disagreeing with me but later on i end up regretting it.”

he takes out the eggs carefully as if they were his own children and puts them in the fridge. “you’re always looking at the pros and cons for me, even when i don’t want to hear them. i love you so, so, so, so much. i appreciate you and respect you. even when you sometimes don’t want to cuddle.” he laughs, taking the strawberries out of your hands to put them away.

“i love our relationship dynamic, did you know that? because i know that. we’re always making sure we don’t go crazy. like that one time you helped me calm down when i was having a bad day. i love how you and i always tackle our problems together, whether they’re shared out not. you never make me feel like a bad person, just in progress. and i love how you trust me enough to open up to me, i know it hasn’t been easy but i appreciate that you’re always trying. you make loving you seem like the only right answer.”

by the time he’s done talking, you’ve put everything away. he ends his talk with tranquil silence, gathering the empty grocery bags and setting them aside for later use.

this time, you’re actually flustered. “where did all that come from?”

he doesn’t always get like this. sometimes he’s a little quieter, sometimes he gives you a small “love you” and it’s all you need to know.

he shrugs. “i don’t know. i just felt like you needed to know and i had to tell you right away.”

he gives you a little kiss like it’s nothing and goes to turn on the tv, leaving you speechless. in your previous relationships, romantic or platonic, no one had really taken the time to acknowledge your efforts so directly. you’d spend hours if not days worrying if your affections were equally reciprocated (or at least appreciated). being so openly appreciated was a new feeling that left you feeling open and vulnerable, which you were beginning to learn wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling at all.

thoma, childe, itto, gorou, heizou, kaeya, kaveh, venti

writes love letters to you

he writes them everywhere. on post-it notes, on pieces of scratch paper, on the margins of your work notepad (although you’ve had to hide them at some point because they were starting to get outside of the margins and you still needed them to write in).

in these little notes, he’ll write all sorts of different things. whether it’d be how much he loves you, about a particular moment you shared that he felt was precious (he’d write it in specific detail, as if it were an excerpt from a novel), or any miscellaneous thoughts he believed was important to convey (”you looked really cute in that dress that other day. i love how you looked so happy in it.”).

he writes things as he thinks them. sometimes you two will be watching a movie together and he’ll have an ‘aha’ moment, get up, and grab a piece of paper to write in.

and then he’ll leave them everywhere.

everywhere. you once found a note just as you were putting your clothes in the washer. (”oh, i must’ve left it there.”)

one day, you end up asking him why he writes them, even though sometimes they’re not even intended to be read by you.

“i heard that you remember things better when you write them down,” he started. “sometimes i’d get little thoughts of you and i thought it’d be a waste to forget them.”

you open your mouth to say something but he continues.

“on anniversaries and stuff like that, i always end up forgetting what i want to say. i’ll get so nervous or in the moment my mind will go blank. i don’t like that. so i thought that if i wrote them down, it’d help me remember exactly how to put my feelings into words.” he turns to look at you and beams. “and if they also help remind you how much i love you, then i’d say it’s an added bonus.”

alhaitham, diluc, cyno, kazuha, albedo, baizhu, zhongli, xiao

makings kissing a game

whoever gives the most kisses wins. of course, neither of you are keeping track, but that doesn’t stop him from planting a big kiss on your mouth in the middle of the movie and saying, “fifteen points!”

and naturally, not one to lose, you take up the challenge. you plant two kisses. that is where it escalates to the point where you two are trying to kiss each other without being kissed. it ends up with a lot of strange head movement that results in a fit of giggles.

he kisses you on the cheek when he hands you your coffee like it’s a habit. in early mornings, when the two of you are still waking up, he’ll whisper a soft “five points” with a raspy voice. when you lunge to get him back for it, he’ll dodge, rubbing his eyes and pointing a little finger at you. “haha missed me.”

on days you have work, if you don’t give him his goodbye kiss he’ll catch you on the way out. he’ll follow you groggily, silently. mid-way with putting your shoes on he’ll plant his lips on yours. his hand comes up to cup your face, gently caressing the apple of your cheek. you’re expecting him to murmur some amount of points at that point. but instead, he smiles into the kiss and hums. “i love you,” he whispers, “have a good day.”

you end up leaving with a racing heart. although you’re used to his antics, he never fails to remind you how swoonworthy a simple kiss goodbye can be.

venti, childe, ayato, heizou, tighnari, kazuha, cyno, kaveh, thoma, kaeya

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yandeeznutz · 1 year

Text

Imagine after an argument they ignored you. Childish as it seems but they thought by doing this way they can ease their mind faster. They avoided your approach, your invitations for a meal to talk it all out, everything. This childish behaviour taught them a lesson.

This went by for almost a week and you gave up and felt hopeless making all things up.

You were a strong one, a one that could protect themselves but this commission was an unlucky one. 3 hydro fatuis and you were on your own. Multiple injuries and your stamina growing slower

Your to weak to protect, you can’t call any back ups either the distance was too far. You could only accept it, it was your choice.

Your death was slow, it took you sometime but you defeated it all but in exchange of your life, you took it upon to lay down on a tree, laying down for your peaceful slumber.

Your lover took the voluntary team with them to search out for you, it has been a few ours, too long for your returning. You were a strong person how come it took you a while?

As soon as they arrive they only met a few of a dead fatui and their treasure but where were you? All of them planned to separate and look for you, would they call this lucky if they find you?

Laying down peacefully in slumber (eternally).

They tried to call out for you but it fell on deafen ears. Perhaps this is what they deserve,

#genshin impact angst #Genshin #genshin impact imagines #genshin death #genshin angst #genshin drabbles #genshin fic #genshin characters #genshin imagines #genshin angst death #genshin fluff #genshinimpactangst #genshin impact x you #genshin impact x reader

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cherieiu · 1 year

Text

words of comfort

sypnosis: he's afraid that he'll lose you, and you know this as well.

characters: diluc, wanderer, tartaglia, xiao x gn!reader

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst.

author's notes: feeling super burnt out rn so i might not post as much as before. i hope you understand and pls enjoy :) ❤️ also thank you all sm for 181 followers! it rlly means a lot to me knowing that you enjoy my writing (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)❤️❤️❤️

diluc - the shadow of dawn

he knows that your existence will be at threat whenever you're in his presence. let it be fatui or monsters, your life will be in danger. he's warned you countless times, yet you tell him that you'll stay, even for the cost of your life.

dreams constantly haunt him, that one day, he'll lose you, either out of will or by force. the loss of his father already punctured a wound to his chest, you would only leave another stab to his heart.

you've realised how he constantly holds you like you're going to disappear in his arms, kisses lasting longer than before. his gaze is constant on you, making sure that you're not a hallucination.

" diluc, are you alright? " you ask, snapping him out of his headspace. your eyes are soft as you give him a look of concern.

" i hate to say it, but, i constantly believe i'll lose you, " glancing at you, he turned his head in preparation for a retort.

" you'll never lose me diluc, i promise you that, " smiling at him, you stick your pinky for the promise to be sealed.

" i know this is childish but, in that way, the promise will always be there. "

his pinky crosses yours, sealing the promise. diluc quickly embraces you, muttering a " thank you " under his breath.

wanderer - eons adrift

he's scared that he'll lose you, your life burning away while his remains the same. a candle eventually melts, but he doesn't. his bottom lip trembling, his eyes begin to water at the thought of you being gone from his life.

you still have many years to go, but he can't help but wonder whenever that day will come. even lesser lord kusanali can't save you from the cycle of life and death, so what hope does he have?

he doesn't want to lose you, really. wanderer now tends to hold your hand in public, despite him disliking any sort of affection outside. he's more aggressive to those who accidentally trip you, and you can't help but realise how he felt inside.

" love, i have to say something. it's about you, " you saw his figure tense up at your words, his hands trembling at the thought of what you'll say.

" are you alright nowadays? you seem.. scared. "

was it really that obvious? his days of wandering earnt him the ability to hide what he felt, yet you saw through him like a frame of glasswork.

" i'm scared that i'll lose you. so, please, don't go, " arms held your figure, with such security you've never felt before. tears stream from his eyes, flowing down to your neck as he buried his face within the crook of your neck.

" i promise i won't. "

tartaglia - childe

his line of work puts your life on a single thread, if broken, there's no going back. everyday, you dangle from this thread, even though there's an option for you to untie yourself and leave the chaos. yet you don't. tartaglia still wonders to this day as to why you're still here with him, when you could be living free from dangers. he's told you to go back several times, to save yourself before enemies strike at you, the 11th's beloved. you say you love him, yet it's barely enough to ensure him that it's alright for you to stay with him.

he knows he's beginning to become over-protective of you, but the need to know you're safe is much more important. a single fatui guard turned into three, every bite of food that's given to you is thoroughly inspected for the slightest drop of poison. you've noticed these changes too, knowing how much pressure your love in under. anything to lessen the burden of his shoulders.

" ajax? " your voice gains his attention, his lips faking a smile.

" are you feeling okay? i'm a bit worried. "

the smile on his lips drop as he heard the words, knowing full well that you've noticed the changes in your life. a harbinger's resolve is to be absolute, yet you saw through the smiles and saw his insecurities.

" i'm sorry, but i was afraid, i admit. afraid that i'll lose you, " tartaglia only looks at you for a brief moment before you're in his arms, the familiar comfort around you once more.

" i promise you won't lose me, ajax. i love you. "

xiao - vigilant yaksha

his karma will eventually be forced upon you, the very love of his life. knowing that he's the reason you're always in the constant presence of danger digs a wound into his heart. xiao feels at constant guilt whenever you get the slightest scratch, believing that he is the cause of your pain. many nights, you repeat the same words, " it's not because of you ", yet they aren't enough for him.

he began to become more anxious around you, constantly having his gaze on you before you could trip and fall. avoiding you has been a great obstacle for him to tackle, perhaps even worse than corrupt monsters. if he were to be the reason as for your death, he'll gladly sacrifice himself over and over, just to see you alive and breathing again.

you realised how distant xiao becoming, once soft gazes turned to quick side glances. so, you plan to confront him.

" xiao, are you doing alright? you seem more distant now, " you breathed out, your eyes nervously staring into his.

" truth be told, no. i'm afraid that i'll lose you because of my karmic debt. "

pressing your head into the crook of his neck, you embraced him, whispering soft promises into the shell of his ear. his arms eventually found a place on your back as he pulled you closer.

" you won't xiao, i promise. "

reblogs are very appreciated though! ⁠♡

#childe x reader #xiao x reader #diluc x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin x reader #scara x reader #genshin imagines #genshin characters #genshin impact

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frogzxch · 1 year

Text

Pov: you having kids with them

Pearings: Pantalone, II Dottore and capitano bunos character zhongli and childe

Enjoy the fluff or idk the sweetness ehE <3

Im still a starter makin this things they maybe short tho

Alrighty let us start!(⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

Capitano

Him being a father is a bit strict sometimes when it comes to his own child he doesn't want his own son/daughter be weak most of the time he would test them to fight, and there you are would be upset about this.

He would adore them tho like especially when it's a girl he would always protect you and his daughter he would spend time playing dress up games with his daughter and you would sometimes just giggle beside the door because of it.

He is a big gentle guy when it comes to his child and also you ofc he will do anything with his power for both of you to be comfortable and safe.

Would miss his child when he will be away for a mission.

Pantalone

His the type of father who spoil his son/daughter to much you would always say " pantalone that's enough gifts for them! " and he would laugh a little and all of a sudden your lips are touching with his.

Diff want's to spend more time with his child he would sometimes bring his child to work the child would have it's own area where she/he can play while pantalone doing his work.

Would fallasleep while his child on his arms and you would sometimes take pictures of both of them after that you would suddenly feel an hand grabing your wrist and pull you to sleep beside them yes cuddles a family cuddle.

Dottore

This guy is not really the type to be a father at first he was to scared after finding out you where pregnant, the first time he held his child his expression soften when the newborn smiled at him.

He would always have his segments looking/play with his child whenever his busy, sometimes when you finished a mission from the fatui you would go check on both of them and you would see both of them asleep sometimes and it was adorable your little child would be wearing the same outfit as him.

He will have someone watch the both of you whenever you go out it's because for '' safety '' but he would actually just have someone picture you both and he would display them in his lab.

He would teach his child about his experiments and you would be worried but dottore would always say " don't worry about it love '' and kiss you on your forehead while you holding your child.

Zhongli

Would also be same as pantalone he would talk about his child with childe yeah, his going gogo gaga with his child.

Will do braids when it's a girl he will dress her up like a little doll or sometimes would match with your outfit.

Will take family pictures whenever you all go out he will always buy his child stuff toys and sweets/candy yes you will always make him try not to spoil your child.

24/7 with his child lol he would piggy back ride his child whenever walking around.

Childe

First when he held his child he never expected that his wish would come true tears raining down his cheeks while his child on his arms smiling.

A protective father when he saw his child crying he would rush to run at them and he would ask " who is it? " making his expression angry his child would point at the one's who made fun of her/him after that he will hug his child and kiss there forehead for comfort.

His child would probably cling to him more than you shshsh, childe will always play with them when your out for a mission/work.

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