#gendventures

[goodnightmoonvale]

I can tell that my gender and my desired gender expression are on the move again. I mean, I've been taking a hard left turn into Femme ever since last year, but my gender was also swinging female, to the point I thought I might just finally settle down as cis but nope

Now I want to be a twink in a dress. I'm a girl in a boy way. A boy in a girl way. I'm wearing a dress but in a drag way. I'm not a girl but I dress up as one sometimes for fun. I'm learning the elaborate gender performance but it's a costume. "Female" is a ren faire I'm dressing up for.

#gendventures

[goodnightmoonvale]

I have spent my life drenched in and in tension against conservative, "traditional" gender roles. I rejected femininity and became a tomboy the second I was able to (which was pretty damn early, given my mother's own tomboyishness), constantly decried the idea that I would just "stay home and have a family". I wore boys' clothes and made friends with boys and felt as though other girls were a strange and alien culture, both confusing and uninteresting to me. (much could be debated re: my latent queerness and neurodivergency for producing this feeling, but nonetheless, it was what it was.)

I find it incredibly fascinating that as I step away from my previous religion and continue to divest myself of old ways of thinking, I am incredibly drawn to female goddesses of home and family: Frigg, Hestia, etc. I find myself wanting to craft and cook and "tend to the hearth fires" so much more now that it turns out I'm no longer expected to do so. Now that I don't have anything to prove about my competence and importance as a person, I suddenly find myself wanting to explore femininity and "feminine energy".

It's like those posts about trans girls always say: why claim femininity if it isn't fun? Why keep it if it's a burden?

I feel like now that I've freed myself of the "burden" of femininity, I can finally explore the fun parts of it at my own leisure.

#gendventures #this is both too rambly and incomplete #I'm tired #but I've been having a lot of gender thoughts lately #I still think the idea of #what do I want to take from femininity now that I am no longer obligated to perform it #or perform it in specific ways #is so interesting #it's truly a revelation

[goodnightmoonvale]

Interestingly, the more I've felt comfortable leaning into more femme/female gender presentation, the less comfortable I am with she/her pronouns. When I dressed more butch and had an undercut I was fine with she/her. but now I'm wearing padded bras and flouncy skirts, seeing myself be referred to as "she" feels almost grating.

Maybe it just comes down to the idea that I need *something* to remind myself or others that gender is fake, especially mine. I thought maybe I was just settling into cis+ or something but looks like maybe not.

#gendventures #life on the moon

[goodnightmoonvale]

I posted 7,117 times in 2022

That's 3,683 more posts than 2021!

101 posts created (1%)

7,016 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@radio-charlie

@diarythebookwyrm

@labelleizzy

@juneookami

@givelizardsswords

I tagged 3,830 of my posts in 2022

Only 46% of my posts had no tags

#videos - 270 posts

#dracula daily - 214 posts

#art - 152 posts

#ofmd - 136 posts

#gendventures - 90 posts

#it got better - 84 posts

#the witcher - 81 posts

#religion - 70 posts

#poetry - 68 posts

#good omens - 65 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#yet another semi truck came through and knocked out a street light because google maps says you can get into the industrial park from here

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I've been reading the original Winnie the Pooh books to my 5yo for his bedtime stories. The other night he tells me that he's going to tell ME some stories about Winnie the Pooh instead. He's got 100 chapters about Winnie the Pooh, he says.

His book about Winnie the Pooh is called "Winnie the Pooh in the City", he says, and first three chapters are entitled as follows:

Winnie the Pooh in the Day

Winnie the Pooh in the Car

Carnage in the City

117 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

#4

My favorite part of Goncharov (1973) was when he said "I'm gonna gonch!" and then he gonched all over those people

398 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#3

Dr Seward: I am beginning to come to a terrible realization: my patient is actually Spiders Georg. No wonder all of my scientific studies have been plagued by bad data.

502 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#2

New gender-neutral royalty just dropped (according to my 5yo who is bad with gender and creative with words):

"quing" = queen+king

538 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Added a non-binary D&D character to the game I play with all of my Mormon extended relatives to force them all to learn how to use they/them pronouns

552 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #If you click the 'get your year in review' link #Make sure you're on desktop or iOS app #If you're on Android you need to do it in a browser window not in the app

[goodnightmoonvale]

New gender-neutral royalty just dropped (according to my 5yo who is bad with gender and creative with words):

"quing" = queen+king

#gendventures

[goodnightmoonvale]

Back when he was about 3, my older son had a hard time figuring out the difference between "me" and "you". Because we always referred to him as "you", he didn't realize that it referred to people outside of one's self, and therefore always referred to himself as "you"; this lead to some hilarious moments like when he needed to get out of his bed to use the bathroom and he would yell at us through the baby monitor "YOU NEED TO PEE!!!"

Second son, though, had no problem with the you/I distinction. I'm not entirely sure why, but perhaps it was because he had an additional person around to watch responding to "you" vs "I".

What he does have trouble with, and continues to have trouble with, is the difference between she/her and he/him. I am the only person in the house who uses she/her pronouns, so while he knows that some people use she/her instead of he/him, he doesn't have a good grasp on why or when. He tends to refer indiscriminately to people using either set, even mixing it up within the same sentence.

I know he'll figure it out eventually but I find it endlessly amusing that he speaks like someone learning English from a language with ungendered pronouns, that he can't find any reason why some people are one and some people are another. Gives me hope I'm doing something at least a little right.

#life on the moon #gendventures #children #linguistics #language acquisition

[goodnightmoonvale]

may I propose: gendventures

Ooooo. Not bad, not bad

#gender adventures #adventures in gender #gendventures