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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 1 year

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crawls into ur window HI MAC I AM SO GLAD U ASKED FOR MY SANDERS SIDES SALES PITCH. oh my god ok. here's my sales pitch. sanders sides is like inside out except they're debating extreme moral dilemmas such as the trolley problem and sacrificing yourself for others and whether morally questionable actions make someone a bad person. also leslie odom jr shows up at one point so thats cool. there r sprinkles of religious guilt in later episodes AND RELIGIOUS IMAGERY WITH THE SNAKE GUY LEMME TELL U ABOUT THE SNAKE GUY!!!

the yellow guy with the snake face is deceit and he's c!thomas' capacity for deception and lies (and as an extension he's a sort of self preservation instinct he's very cool i love him his debut episode is MY FAVOURITE) and i love him. sneaky snake man <3 will not say his actual name bc that's revealed in a much later episode but i love him so so mmuch. the sarcasm. THE SASS. he is one of my fav sides along with virgil and logan (i just like the left brain boys idk what kinda crack thomas put in them but im addicted)

THE MUSTACHE GUY BASICALLY IS A CARTOON VILLAIN!!! HE HAS A WHOLE ASS MUSICAL NUMBER IN HIS DEBUT EPISODE. HE'S AMAZING. his name is remus (which isn't rly a spoiler bc he says his name like ten minutes after showing up) and he's so fucking funny i love him. due to Religious Upbringing and Catholic Guilt c!thomas has like 2 sides of his creativity, one side is Roman and the other is Remus, and remus is like c!thomas' intrusive thoughts and also his darker imagination like dirty jokes and interests in darker subject matter (he's got a wide range of Things that he does but he's mostly been shown as a representation of intrusive thoughts thus far) he's a silly funny guy i think u would love him very very much :33

(also i think the discourse thomas was in at the time was just saying he supported ace ppl while the entire Ace Discourse thing was happening years ago. he hasn't done anything reprehensible, he just suffers from terminal "my fanbase puts me on a moral pedestal and i cannot possibly hope to live up to it and every action is scrutinized unfairly" disease. like ranboo!!! sry for the Rant sanders sides has gotten young me thru some tough shit and it holds a v special place in my heart. if u want the full series playlist i can send it 2 u :3)

OHHHHH this sounds like exactly the kind of thing that 14 yr old me would have eaten up ljke a big ol bowl of cereal. oh this shit is so good. ok maybe i will watch it. for teenage mac. i will do it for her. this surely will not give me any mental illnesses whatsoever (<< EXTREMELY pos)

i like the vibes of snake guy just from that otgw video.... he feels like. reluctantly redeemed villain that now just kinda hangs around like a weird uncle. i love that in a man . also snake imagery slaps always

I WOULD FOR SURE LOVE THE PLAYLIST <3 if i get insane abt this im 100% blaming you tho hehehehehehe

#ME 🤝 THOMAS SANDERS - having an oc that acts as a physical representation of ur intrusive thoughts #im gonna love that guy i bet.#is virgil the purple one. is he the goth lookin one. ohhh teenage me wouldve had such insane gender envy from that guy.#ALSO THE ACE DISCOYRSE THING MAKES SOOO MUCH SENSE the friends i used to have were. bad. and me being people pleaser that i am #i avoided any and all mention of ace discourse wirh them because i was ace and i was afraid if they thougjt i was they would kick me #out of the group (which they eventually did. bad ppl. but thats besides the point) BUT THAT MAKES SENSE WHY I NEVER SAW THIS. god. fuck.#i wish i would have. omg . teenage me would have eaten this shit up so bad #anyway. sorry i got off topic there. ough #asks #ss #anachronistic-falsehood #friends!!!

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acaiyatree · 2 years

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collector u're already so powerful u don't need a gender give it to me instead <33

#the gender envy is strong with this one guys #the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #the collector #like i already liked him based off his 2d design but idk seeing them like. actually come to life and fucking shit up.......#i wanna have that gender yk??

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astrxealis · 2 years

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i'll work on hw and shit in the car but also aghfjhfjen properly organize thoughts on ffxiv ocs

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#theres my WoL joie and uh. aside from that it's all a mess LMAO #i wna redo the ideas i had b4 >_< but i still want a male miqo and fem au ra !! and fem viera !!#i have a big thing for male viera now tho aagfhhejd gender envy so real ... so theres uhm. my male viera milk chocolate looking guy #idk his name yet still </3 he likes the milky way tho ! idk if that even exists in ffxiv oh well. w vieras you can lowkey name them ANYTHING #bcs they choose their names when they grow older :O and their gender too iirc WHEEZEHEHEJDH HELP but anyways hm.#i still want a male miqo . fem lala . fem au ra. uhh i need a party of 8 or 7 so hmmhmmhm ...#i also now have a habit of saying smth and then 'and shit'. ryuji had rubbed off me

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july-19th-club · 2 years

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this show is trying really hard to convince me that if you are an alien with superpowers and all you choose to do with that is “be gay in a junkyard” then you are wasting your potential, but also the other options being floated here are “frustrated, emotionally unstable housewife” and “became an emotionally unstable cop” so its impossible to say if “being gay in a junkyard (emotional instability a given at this point)” is the pathetic outcome or not

#eat ass suck a dick tinker with shit build a spaceship to leave the sorry unfeeling earth behind and maybe invite three passengers #sorry your siblings dont know how to prioritize king i know u shoulder a heavy burden in this family #i LOVE him he read the outsiders and immediately kinned dally. that's who he is that's all he is and that's plenty enough for me #roswell nm #also the gender envy being off the charts of course. i need to slouch around in bootcut jeans more. sorry girly phase byeeeeee #i need a cowboy hat and a jean shirt fucking pronto

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sacrificialmutt · 19 days

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i would kill to look like will graham (im a black girl)

#┈ ✴ ﹙rambling﹚#worst part abt the poc/trans overlap in my brain is every guy who gives me gender envy is WHITE #I COULD NEVER LOOK LIKE THEM ITS NOT POSSIBLE #GET THIS BLACK SHIT OFF OF ME /ref

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cobble-stone-butch · 2 months

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fucked up and evil that I can't fix all my friends' problems and be everything they need in all matters physical and emotional

#yes I have always been someone who is way too intense about my friendships #and it has in fact gotten me hurt #extra fucked because as soon as someone does rely on me emotionally I go “oh shit I forgot I do NOT have the skills for this”#I guess this is the curse I get as a trade off for having such a calm and stable romantic love life #anyway ugh I want to cook for them and hug them and read all their favorite books #and tell them how much gender envy they give me #in a platonic way! I want to be like little butch BROTHERS #UGH this cannot be E 2.0 #personal

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mayday-jd · 8 months

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WORK IT FIZZ

the confidence, the style oh to be him 😔

also noticed how fizz really hasn't attacked crimson and his guys yk.. the ppl that KIDNAPPED HIM?? but the moment they all start shooting at blitz he gets mad and goes in for a PUNCH

have I said it already or am I insane because THE BESTIES ARE BACK

hehe they're such menaces

#am I getting gender envy from a demon CLOWN??#find out next episode #I love the cut off #I lose my shit every time LMAOO #“so fucking BYE BYE!!!”

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keepthebeanscool · 4 months

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npmd headcanons i’m coming up with as i type this also i’m half asleep

richie used to have the craziest magic school bus hyper fixation for like a solid two years

ruth was the kid who just ate random shit all the time like she’s ask to borrow a pencil and when she gave it back it looked like a family of beavers went to town on it

when grace was asked to draw a family portrait in kindergarten she included god like just hanging out in the air above her and her parents

max treated dodgeball like the olympics throughout all of elementary school and he and kyle and jason were the kids that wore basketball shorts in below freezing weather

steph was forced into piano lessons as a kid and did them for like 8 years and her teacher was like 97 years old and his house smelled like mothballs and dust and there was no lighting even though he had like 15 vintage lamps for some reason she hated it so bad

pete has broken the same leg like 5 times he just has one bone that is so susceptible to breaking for absolutely no reason it just does that

grace used to pretend jesus was her imaginary friend she’d sit in the grass at recess and genuinely just talk to the air next to her like it was jesus. which is kind of sad actually

one of richies earliest experiences of gender envy was the main dude from sword art online i forgot his name

steph was one of those girls who like pretended to be a fairy at recess and had like a rivalry with a different fairy kingdom and one time stacy or something betrayed her for the other fairy kingdom because they had their headquarters at a better tree and steph didn’t forgive her for like two years

ruth is super prone to almost drowning. she knows how to swim in theory but she just loves to get into situations near large bodies of water she’s almost drowned so many times

richie has burnt most of the taste buds off on his tongue because he religiously eats warheads and was once dared by ruth to eat as many at once as possible and nearly threw up

pete is an avid roblox player and would never admit it to anyone

max is weirdly good at taking care of fish. he had a beta fish when he was younger and kept it alive for a solid 5 years he didn’t recover for like a year after it died and that event honestly might have contributed to his current behavior it really hit him hard

#npmd #nerdy prudes must die #no idea if any of this makes sense i’m just dumping my thoughts currently #hatchetfield #starkid #jaspers thoughts

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kechiwrites · 30 days

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mirror image

toxic baby daddy!ghost x reader

part 7/8

synopsis: two weeks into your uneasy truce, simon gets introspective.

wc: 811

cw: afab!reader, angst, banter that becomes arguing, hurt and the tiniest bit of comfort, language, trust issues, simon's pov, no gendered language. no use of y/n ever.

author’s note: well, we back at it, the second last installment of this verse. i'll still take requests/thots for it of course, but soon we'll get closure for these two. for now, simon's thoughts on their situation.

new to baby blue? start here.

It’s disarming.

And Simon Riley doesn’t like being disarmed. He doesn’t like being caught off guard, off kilter, unstable.

It’s been happening more and more often though.

When you and Tommy look at him in perfect unison, he is struck stupid by your eyes, like you copy and pasted them onto your son. His son. His kid. His perfect, funny kid. Unmuddied by everything bad in the world. His life is pancakes and dinosaurs and that horrible fucking tv show that he’s sure rots his little mind. His life is you. Your smiles, your laugh, your cooking, your hugs. Things Simon cheated himself of when he walked out on you, choked with fear and bleeding misery.

Simon is disarmed, totally fucking helpless, a veritable babe in the woods when you let him hold you. When for the first time, in a long ass time, he gets to watch your lids flutter closed and slip into unconsciousness, in that quick, carefree way he’s always envied.

He barely sleeps, even less so lately.

After all, no sleeping meant no nightmares. No cloying, choking smoke-like fears reaching for the frayed edges of his subconscious. No sleeping meant he couldn’t play on your kindness, your goodness, and guilt you into holding him back when he woke up screaming, sweating, no matter how bad he wanted it.

It’s two weeks later. Two weeks after sleeping together but not sleeping together. After breakfast and an uneasy truce. Two weeks after kissing you and touching you and holding you like you both had all the time in the world.

You’re not in a good mood. And he knows that. But he pushes you anyway, pokes and prods you even as you slam through your kitchen, noisily pulling out a pot and a huge bag of pasta shells.

“Let’s talk.” He approaches, arms crossed, full kit traded in for a skull emblazoned cloth mask, jeans and a threadbare black t-shirt, one he’d found in your bedroom days ago, stashed in the back your drawer, crumpled in a wrinkled ball, like you didn’t want to see it, but you didn’t want to trash it either. He’s been doing that lately, staying over for days and rifling through your shit, finding old relics and artifacts from a time neither of you can let go of. An old mask, a hat, t-shirts.

So many goddamn t-shirts.

“Talk?” you snort derisively, filling the pot with water. He watches you test the water with your fingertips and curse under your breath, mumbling something about shit pipes. When the pot is full, you turn to face him, lips curled, sneering. “I wasn’t aware you were capable of that. Thought you just communicated in grunts.”

“You’re funny. That's new.” He jabs, advancing in the conversation much faster than he should have, comforted in familiar territory, finding solace in what used to be commonplace for you, banter, barbs, teasing. The tense set of your shoulders should’ve warned him off it, should’ve told him you’d take it as well as a bullet in the back. But God help him, he’ll take whatever you give.

“Mm.” Your tone is casual but your answering nod is jerky, too fast, “Yeah, I developed a sense of humour when I realized our relationship had been a joke.” You slam the pot onto a burner, giving him your back.

The air is suddenly devoid of mirth, utterly obliterated where it had been floating between you before. Now the living room and kitchen are a smoking crater, an oil rig on fire, a disaster site.

He’s never been more grateful for his son’s propensity to nap like he’s dead.

Neither of you say anything. Simon is waiting for you to say something, to dress him down, but when you lower your head and sigh, heavy and deep with pain and exhaustion he planted within you, Simon withers. He slinks back to the living room and drops himself onto your couch.

You wait, he’s not sure what for. He used to be so good at preempting your actions, your thoughts, your words, now he handles you like you’re a venomous reptile, looking for exposed, vulnerable flesh to strike, to bite.

You set down the glass you’d been drinking from hard. And he’s surprised you didn’t crack it.

“What do you want, Simon?” Question of the goddamn century, it is. And you’ve asked it of him plenty of times. But he never has an answer, can never really deduce just what the fuck he’s doing here, with you. With Tommy. Playing a game? Playing a role? Punishing you? Himself? All of it could be true, but none of it seems right.

“I want to try.”

All he knows is that before this, four years seemed like a short time, nothing really. But now?

It’s an eternity. Reflected back to him in broken glass, in half full drawers, in his son’s eyes.

In yours.

comments + tags + reblogs are so appreciated

oh simon...what do you want?

series masterlist here

#ghost x black reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #ghost smut #simon riley x reader #simon riley smut #ghost x you #ghost x black!reader #simon riley x you #kechiwrites #baby blue fic #baby daddy ghost #ghost x gn reader #cod fanfic #cod imagine #cod x reader #cod mw2 x reader #cod mw3 x reader

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coleslawleviathan · 2 months

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okay so. i challenged myself to try and draw some snakes and try to capture the features i want to stand out for them. i wanted to see if i could make them all look distinct but where its obvious they look extremely similar.

heres the main lineup but i want to get into design elements for them as well as some personal headcanons.

FIRST! bibo.

okay so. i'm going to toot my own horn here. i think his beard looks so fire and i did a good job. i imagine this design is around the portable ops era... not much else to say because most of the interesting stuff (at least to me) comes from the differences the others have from him.

V!!! I LOVE YOU V!!!!!!!!!!

for venom snake, i made him look like big boss but Something's Off. in the game people often (notably huey and the boss' ai) don't recognize him as big boss for a few seconds. an imperfect replica because you cannot get that close with plastic surgery. i made the fat distribution on his neck a bit different from bibo's because i imagine the way that the human body configures itself is hard to change. if you noticed the little snake-tongue-shaped-hair-doohickeys, he is the only one with a slightly different shape. it's a genetic thing, you wouldn't get it. just thought that was silly. his hair texture is different, too. can u tell i like him a lot. also, my favorite detail might be his different nose shape. they never got bibo's nose right i guess. in mgsv, he actually has a bit of a downturned nose, and i honestly don't think i captured that enough.

TIME FOR MY FAVORITE BOY. LOVE OF MY LIFE. HOLDER OF MY GENDER ENVY. solid snake :3

SNAVID! the most obvious difference here is his nose. he broke it as a kid lol. i love headcanons. there's not as much to say about him as with venom, but i can say that he is incredibly handsome and i like him. i think he is cute. was he free yesterday? if so i would like to have dinner yesterday with him yesterday. well... i will say that out of this specific lineup i think he looks the most like good old dad. which is awful and i feel bad for him.

FINALLY: LIQUID!!!!!!!

i gave him his canonical sharp nose and high cheekbones! i based a lot of his features off how he looked as a kid so he really has little shit vibes about him. he also has thinner eyebrows, and i headcanon that he does them himself lol. he has less sideburny sideburns than his brother. his eyelids are also smaller. he also does look kinda like kaz so its plausible that he tricked dave! yippee! i also like drawing his hair. its such a great hairstyle. it reminds me of a lion's mane.

N E WAYS... i hope you enjoyed me rambling about giving these goobers a more realistic design for future reference. i like talking about this kind of stuff. life is so much better without same face syndrome.

#metal gear #metal gear solid #mgs #big boss #venom snake #solid snake #liquid snake #im going crazy

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updatingranboo · 8 months

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tips and tricks for ranboo fans to make chat (and the community) a better place!

hello! since the rebrand is coming up i decided i wanted to make a list of certain things ranboo fans should be discouraged from saying/doing, to keep chat/the community fun and keep from pushing ranboo back into the box of a streamer they no longer are. i personally don’t believe in cringe culture, i think everyone should be able to have fun, but at this point certain jokes and comments restrict ranboo from growing as a person and do reflect on the community. this got a lot longer than i was expecting, apologies! lets begin.

gender jokes (“genderman”, you stole my gender etc)

a super obvious one. getting gender envy from ranboo is normal and super awesome! nothing wrong with that. but the jokes have been overused. the genderman one specifically has ties to minecraft which, while ranboo doesn’t care about being associated with minecraft, it’s still a tie to their past content they would prefer to leave behind. this is the same level as calling them an “mcyt”, while there’s no harm in it and ranboo really doesn’t care, it’s also just.. not really true anymore and hasn’t been for years. let them grow!

2. *blank*boo/general spam

*blank*boo is nothing but spammy. all it does is fill up chats and replies and brings no substance to anything. spamming “tiredboo” when they yawn, “madboo” when they yell etc. is not contributing anything meaningful to a chat. it’s annoying and drowns out actually fun and interesting comments. as for general spam, you can use a few emotes here and there! but when all you do is spam emotes it again just floods the chat. when ranboo tells chat to stop spamming, you stop. don’t take it as a challenge, you will just get banned. yes there is delay, but you can see what other people in chat are saying too. spamming lag, telling them they missed a dono, anything where you find yourself repeating what other people are saying to either get their attention or just because (except for using bttv emotes) just don’t. i know most people are used to speaking in a fast chat, but the truth is chat doesn’t have to be fast! if you don’t have anything to say, you can just stay quiet. even spamming the PETTHEMODS emote defeats the purpose !!

3. telling off chat

slightly related, you don’t have to tell off chat either. going “chat stop” “oh my god chat” just adds to the spam. change the subject! ignore the spam and let the mods take care of it. focus on reacting to the stream and being silly, not being backseat mods.

4. the swearing obsession

ranboo is almost 20. they make so many innuendos every stream. they are heavily considering adding a mature warning to most streams from here on out, and as we have seen they no longer are the “family friendly” kid who they used to be. he can say shit and fuck and people can be normal about it. you don’t have to say LANGUAGE or go THEY SWORE ?????? he’s an adult and can swear. all of his friends swear and a huge portion of us in the community do too. it is not a big deal

5. telling ranboo what to do

back seating in video games, as well as in other situations when it’s NOT ASKED FOR is not fun. let ranboo do what they want. this applies to just general things too- you don’t need to tell ranboo to go to sleep. they can make that decision themself. again, he’s almost 20.

6. assuming ranboo is uncomfortable with something

it’s always good to be careful about respecting boundaries! but don’t confuse your own boundaries for theirs. ranboo has said many times that if something bothers him, he’ll talk about it! it’s safe to say they are more uncomfortable with you harassing an artist for drawing something you personally don’t like, over the actual art itself.

7. the chat hopping/mentioning ranboo unnecessarily

we all love ranboo. that is very obvious. their friends love them too! but when you go into one of ranboos friends chats or comment sections and start either asking about ranboo, telling his friends to play with them, or making unnecessary references to their content, it makes their friends want to do things with them less! streamers are their own people. there’s nothing wrong with watching one of ranboo’s friends streams because ranboo is there, i do it all the time. a lot of us do. the biggest thing is to be RESPECTFUL to the person who’s stream you are watching. if you chat, chat to the streamer! you don’t have to mention ranboo. or, just stay out of chat if you don’t think you’ll be able to stay on topic. you don’t have to speak in chat! there is the flip side of this, don’t bring up other streamers in ranboos chat unnecessarily either! no one cares if you saw two colors and it made you think of something unrelated. it’s so disrespectful to the streamer to do this.

8a. unnecessary negativity

the internet can be a very negative, reactionary place. seeking out negativity just for the sake of an argument is unhealthy and can also expose others to arguments that they wouldn’t have had to see. bait, obvious unchanging bigots, and also people who just don’t like ranboo (which is valid!) don’t need to be engaged. in the case of trolls, bait and bigots, they only bring negativity and are there to cause arguments. don’t give them the attention they want. As for people who just don’t like ranboo, you can leave them be too! Not everyone has to like ranboo. he can handle it, you don’t need to defend him or try and change someone’s mind. now, unnecessary negativity does not equal call outs/criticism!

8b. please criticize !

if something happens in the community, or from ranboo directly that hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to say something and help make us all better people! ranboo wants criticism. if it’s purely in the community, try reaching out to the other person first! often things can be settled privately so as to not hurt others by dragging them into the conversation or making things heated and causing people to attack each other. on the other side of this, if you see criticism from someone and feel the need to defend ranboo: don’t. if you are affected by something (ie. you are a person of color and the topic is racism) feel free to add to the conversation! if you do not have an opinion on something (ie lesbians call out lesbiphobia, and you are straight) keep it to yourself. let the people actually affected by something talk and have an opinion, and support them. it may feel like people are “attacking” ranboo (or you!) but they are not. they are real people with real, valid feelings, who want to feel safe in a community when in real life, they may be constantly victims of horrible things. listen first. if you still have your own opinions, reflect on them and why you feel the way you do, and dissect any implicit bias you may have. these are all important things that keep a community safe, happy, and mutually respectful!

ranboo encourages everyone to be good people and use common sense. remember when you say something, people other than ranboo see it too! every account has a person behind it, so treat each other with respect and help make the community a more fun and safe place for everyone to be in. ranboo has no tolerance for bigotry, racism, misogyny, antisemitism, ableism, and so on. remember to be aware of the things you are saying, and if you don’t know why something is wrong, look it up or try asking someone politely!

thank you for taking the time to read all of this! this list is non exhaustive. there are plenty of other things you can do in the community to make this a better place, from uplifting the minorities in the community more, to supporting artists by reblogging/sharing and commenting on their art, and more. at the end of the day though we are here because we love ranboo, so by following guidelines like these and putting in the effort, you show ranboo and the other people in the community you care and make everyone proud.

that’s all for now! keep boobing!

#ranboo #not updating ranboo #technically #sorry if any of this is worded weird! i wrote it at 4am

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fear-is-truth · 2 months

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𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝑨𝑳𝑷𝑯𝑨𝑩𝑬𝑻 ── austin sommers ₊ ˙ ⊹ .

⇢ 𝐓ags - 18+/nsfw ． fem!reader

⇢𝓐/n- got a little carried away with this, heh.

𝐀 = 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱)

❥┆austin often experiences a rush of inspiration after an orgasm, so he keeps a notepad and pencil within reach. he pops a black pill and goes straight to writing, which kind of kills the mood. after jotting down a rough outline so brilliant that even shakespeare would envy, he makes up by showering you with kisses and cuddles, repeatedly thanking you and telling you that you're his greatest muse and his one true love, etc. you can always count on receiving princess treatment.

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𝐁 = 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 (𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫’𝐬)

❥┆ he's fixated on your neck and wrists. loves to nuzzle against the crook of your neck and feel the blood pulsing through your veins beneath the thin layer of skin. he has the same obsession with your wrists, too, bringing them to his lips and kissing them.

✶ a/n: picture gomez addams doing that to morticia. sort of creepy, possessive and romantic. the best combo tbh.

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𝐂 = 𝐂𝐮𝐦 (𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐮𝐦, 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲)

❥┆ he loves to cum deep inside you, or in your mouth. makes you swallow it, too. he hates to make a mess on his yves delorme bedsheets. not like he can’t afford to replace them, he simply doesn’t see the need to do extra work.

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𝐃 = 𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 (𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲, 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬)

❥┆he wants to have a threesome with you, including another man.

✶ a/n: *cough* harry gardener-

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𝐄 = 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲? 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠?)

❥┆ austin is very experienced. and with both genders, for that matter.

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𝐅 = 𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠)

❥┆ missionary - all about the eye contact and the intimacy. sex is like a form of art.

❥┆ cowgirl - he gets to lie back and gather his thoughts while admiring the sight of you bouncing on his cock. what more can he ask for?

✶ a/n: also, he likes to fuck you in front of a mirror.

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𝐆 = 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐲 (𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭? 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬? 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆ one moment, he's murmuring sweet words into your ear as he makes tender love to you, the words so heartfelt and oh so romantic that they bring tears to your eyes. the next, he's saying random shit and cracking jokes.

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𝐇 = 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐫 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲? 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐬? 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆ pretty sparse down there already, but still nicely trimmed.

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𝐈 = 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭? 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭)

❥┆ a hopeless romantic with the soul of a whore. he'll light up candles, burn incense, and scatter rose petals— the whole schmear. also a glass of wine and background music to help set the mood.

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𝐉 = 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟𝐟 (𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧)

❥┆ austin detests pornography; absolutely hates it. he considers it vulgar and devoid of any artistic value. however, he occasionally indulges in reading erotica while jacking off, but he prefers to fuck you personally.

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𝐊 = 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤 (𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬)

❥┆ he’s into rough kinky shit. very open about it, too— he’s into blood play, bdsm, threesomes, choking, and roleplay.

❥┆blood play: very obvious one, i know. he wears his “normal teeth” when he’s licking the blood off your skin.

❥┆bdsm: plays the dom role most of the time, but he’s willing to play the (super bratty) sub, too.

❥┆roleplay: very invested in the “theatrical and artistic aspects”, to the point where he writes out entire scripts.

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𝐋 = 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐝)

❥┆ you two have christened the house by making love in every room and on every available surface. austin insists it imbues his “creative sanctum” with the perfect writing atmosphere. whatever the hell that means. his second favourite spot is the back seat of his rolls royce.

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𝐌 = 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐨𝐧)

❥┆ he gets very horny after a few glasses of wine. or a few pints of fresh blood– same thing. you could literally breathe in his direction and boom he gets a hard-on.

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𝐍 = 𝐍𝐨 (𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐝𝐨, 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐬)

❥┆golden showers and gun play. the former is plain disgusting and the latter is too risky, even for him.

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𝐎 = 𝐎𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆ austin definitely prefers receiving over giving, perhaps it's a side effect of the black pill. he can be rather selfish in this aspect. when you’re on you’re period.. let’s just say that the tables are turned.

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𝐏 = 𝐏𝐚𝐜𝐞 (𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡? 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥?)

❥┆ either he's making slow, sensual love to you, like he’s playing a musical instrument with precision and finesse, or he's straight up fucking you like an animal. no in-between with this guy.

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𝐐 = 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐞 (𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆ austin dislikes quickies in general; he prefers the intimacy and connection of “making love”. to him, quickies are anticlimactic and boring.

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𝐑 = 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐤 (𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭? 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤𝐬? 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆yes. he’s totally game for something new. takes a lot of creativity to even faze him because he’s seen it all.

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𝐒 = 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭?)

❥┆ austin has an unnaturally high stamina; it’s fucking insane. he can last for hours before finally tapping out.

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𝐓 = 𝐓𝐨𝐲𝐬 (𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐲𝐬? 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦? 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬?)

❥┆ he owns a bunch of toys, but most of them are either unused or used only once. he has a few favourite ones that he uses on you. oh and he likes to wear cockrings. that too.

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𝐔 = 𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞)

to build up tension and dramatic effect? hell yes, he’ll edge you for hours. pretends to get annoyed when you do the exact same thing to him. (he loves it)

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𝐕 = 𝐕𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐞 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆ really talkative during sex, you can’t get him to shut up. occasional grunts and groans, but mostly it’s sweet talk laced with filthy innuendos. when you're topping him, then oh my god he’s all whines and whimpers.

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𝐖 = 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝 (𝐚 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫)

❥┆sometimes he brags about your sexy time to belle noir. and in vivid detail, too. later, she used it in her latest steamy novel, which was an award-winning bestseller, obviously. when you read the book yourself, you were hit by an instant sense of deja vu. he confessed when you confronted him, shrugging and saying that your love is now permanently engraved in the form of literature. and really, you couldn’t stay mad at him after that.

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𝐗 = 𝐗-𝐫𝐚𝐲 (𝐥𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬)

❥┆ seven inches. pretty veiny, too.

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𝐘 = 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞?)

❥┆ when you tease him for his ridiculously high sex drive, he counters you with “now sexual obsessions are the basis of artistic creation. accumulated frustration leads to what freud calls the process of sublimation. anything that does not take place erotically sublimates itself in the work of art” in other words, boy is horny and pretentious 24/7.

✶a/n: that’s a quote from dali and i think it’s pretty cool.

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𝐙 = 𝐙𝐳𝐳 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬)

❥┆his mind is buzzing with new inspiration, so he usually stays up and write. rarely falls asleep unless he’s already had a good amount of alcohol in him.

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