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inkskinned · 10 months

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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

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lords-plushii-pup · 4 months

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Bimbo Training 0.1

All bimbos should look, sound, and behave like a stupid whore, but not all of them know where to start!

This bimbo training will focus on making you sound like an airheaded slut, so you can build a proper bimbo personality from the bottom up!

First things first, start with your texts. Sound out the words out loud, then type what you hear! If you're using a proper dumb bimbo voice, then it should be spelled as stupid as you sound!!

Some examples:

"omg" is now "ohmgee!"

"please" is now "pleash" or "pwease"

Second, take advantage of your phone and computer's autocorrect functions! (Disclaimer: bimbos may need a Man to help with this part!)

Find the autocorrect function on your device, and turn it on. Then, go into the "replace" feature. Each device is different, but most of them should have a spot where you can put in a normal word, and then the word you want to replace it with!

For example, you can put "men" in one side, and have your phone autocorrect your stupid typing to "Men"!

Speaking of which, my third point!

All bimbos should refer to Men with proper capitalization to show respect and deference. This includes anything relating to Men as well: Cock, Cum, Male, and of course His honorifics, like Sir, Daddy, or Master!

Sidenote for any Men; please refer to us bimbos only with lowercase titles, because we don't deserve Your respect! All women are just cunts, stupid whores, and dummy bimbos!

Last, but certainly not least, bimbos, try and change your speaking voice too! Make sure you only use three-syllable words or less, add long pauses with "uhmmm" and "uhhh" into your speech, and use a cute higher pitched girly tone! Don't forget your dumb girl words from earlier!

Finally, here's an example of a regular paragraph, and how to make it bimbo-fied!

"Yeah, my day at work was great. This one guy keeps hitting on me, dude won't leave me alone. Did you make dinner for me babe?"

And the improved version!

"Ohmgee this cunt had like, a super gud day! All the Men keep like, groping my boobies an stuff, I loves it so muchies! I wish all Men would rape my dumb body all day! Oh, dinner? Of course Sir, I'll like, totally go make You dinner! Can I suck Your Cock while You eat, pretties pleash?"

Remember, all bimbos speak with as much enthusiasm as possible, because you're here to please and entertain Men.

Your whole purpose is to serve Men.

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softd0m-charlie · 17 days

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i see a lot of posts about letting your autistic partner ramble about something while you touch them/give them head/fuck them/whatever, and i approve of that, definitely. 10/10.

but i would like to propose: autistic dom who infodumps to you while they're making you feel good and makes you pay attention to what they're saying the whole time. they're touching you in all the right places, going at just the right rhythm with just the right amount of pressure and it's driving you fucking crazy, all while they're rambling casually about whatever their current interest is like nothing's even happening.

every time you say something small to acknowledge what they're saying, like "mhm", "right", "yeah," or something like that, their movements get a little more intense as a reward for paying attention. but if you get lost in the pleasure and forget to engage with what they're telling you for too long, they go "sorry, are you not listening anymore? alright, i guess I'll stop then." and you have to beg for it if you want them to keep going.

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prokopetz · 1 year

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I read a thinkpiece that characterised not identifying by your assigned gender as being equivalent to refusing an inheritance, and I'm thinking shit, imagine if it actually worked that way. Some weird old relative you only ever see at Christmas dies under mysterious and implausible circumstances and leaves you their gender in the will.

#gender #transphobia #death mention #swearing #naturally it turns out the gender is haunted #but you have to live in it for a year as a condition of inheriting their ill-gotten fortune

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hadesoftheladies · 4 months

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masculinity is 99.9% grooming boys to be the bestest toy soldiers ever. the violence it is characterized by, so that oligarchs can always have bodies to throw at the territory they want from their competitors. “you are savage” “a meat-eater” “such a strong little boy” “buy another shooting video game” you are being bred for a war that will never end because the greed of your overlords has no limits. war wouldn’t happen if men didn’t start them and hinge the global economy on them. they want men to identify with the role they want them to play. and it’s worked so brilliantly. they really think they’re heroes. male identity is so steeped in violence on a peer and societal level. and it’s been happening for ages.

#radblr #thoughts on gender that aren’t focused on femininity #this is a really old thing men are sociologically conditioned to identify with war and see themselves solely in the context of violence #they don’t have identity outside of violence #not by the time their male peers are done with them #capitalism #marxism #thought of this while reading gerda lerner

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history-fag · 7 months

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Falling to my knees over this man

#eat your young #hozier #lgbtq #unreal unearth #the hoziest #hozier tour #lgbtqia+#wasteland baby #actually autistic #andrew hozier byrne #hozier the man that you are #darling #how am i supposed to shalala in these conditions #hands #none of my thoughts were in the bible #hand over your gender

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sergle · 26 days

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what I was talking abt earlier. we have fully looped back around and away from feminism, societally, whereas before it was very Feminism 101 to acknowledge that many parts of existing as a woman in a misogynistic society are painful and upsetting. not that being a woman is Inherently Negative in a bubble. but that living on this earth, in the conditions we're living in, is hostile to women. and that gender is a performance. that many of the Staples Of Femininity as accepted by society are things that you have to create and perform and mold artificially and aren't inherent, that COMPLAINING about day to day difficulties of existing as a woman is something that you're allowed to do. acknowledging these basic, again, feminism 101 things, that something tied to womanhood is more time consuming or more expensive or more dangerous Because Of The Problems. does not CREATE the problems. that when women complain about having to perform femininity, they are not, in fact, oppressing themselves. the call does not come from inside the fucking house. saying that you HAVE suffered does not fucking equate that you believe you SHOULD have suffered.

like I could talk about this for hours. how braindead and one-dimensional the Takes are getting. "being a woman is looking in the mirror and going fuck yeah i'm a woman" damn. I guess any negative experiences you have by living in a misogynistic world... are your fault if you are anything but positive? "you don't actually want liberation" we've fully gone back to telling feminists "you WANT to be oppressed" when anything negative about our society is pointed out. it's not real until I say it out loud, I guess, and then I'm actually the one who caused it. if anybody expresses any unhappiness with how they're treated or the status quo or the language and culture surrounding womanhood and femininity. they've created it, right that second. they invented it just now. it wasn't a problem before somebody complained, right? also trans women aren't braindead zombies who just follow the flow of whatever cis women around them say. I am pretty fucking sure they are very much aware of pain, and are MORE than aware of the swirling torrent of misogyny and standards of femininity than anybody else. actually. and I am pretty sure someone complaining on tumblr that being a woman means always putting on a performance is going to make someone change their mind about transitioning. also "performing femininity" as a necessity to being treated well as a woman is not fucking NEWS to your Local Trans Woman. I AM PRETTY SURE SHE GETS THE CONCEPT. using trans women as a scapegoat for this braindead perspective on gender politics is spineless, meritless, and pathetic.

#how I feel about my gender is not the same as how I feel about the living conditions of my gender #when I saw that post I screenshotted here I literally sat w my mouth open for a minute #sent it to my friends and was like am I fucking crazy. is this what we're doing now #Forced Positivity and that there is no war in ba sing se and actually #you're ruining children's lives if you complain about misogyny on twitter #I don't HAVE to tell little girls about the downsides because they are already being mistreated #before they have even heard the word 'misogyny' let alone know what it means #you do not have to be fucking happy all the time about the cards you're dealt.#you don't live in a bubble where it's just you and your mirror and your pretty dress and nothing bad has ever happened to you #unfortunately bitch. we will have negative experiences that are in fact. part of the package of being a woman #and IGNORING them doesn't make them not exist. actually they will continue to remain status quo unless acknowledged #sergle.txt #I see so much rhetoric that is JUST old-fashioned gender ideals being presented with liberal language on tiktok #that is just telling women that womanhood is just being a girllll and loving pretty things and being kind and gentleeeee and nurturing #and not working and just like being wholesome and being happy and being a light in ppl's lives and just LOVING LOVING LOVING being a woman #so if for even one second. you don't love it. you are actually failing at being a woman #if you complain about the standards for shaving or putting on makeup. which used to be Baby's First Feminism online #that's actually just you creating problems. you're not supposed to acknowledge it. you're supposed to shut up and smile into the mirror.

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a-study-in-bullshit · 7 months

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i refuse to be embarrassed of who I am and what you once were just because you changed and think I should too

#webweaving #web weaving #the queer experience #queer #trans experience #queer identity #queer solidarity #the human condition #very aimed but shell never see it #recently a friend of mine said she didnt think she liked girls anymore which id no issue with experimentation of gender and sexuality is #smth everyone should have a right to do w/o judgement but shes now acting like i should change as well seeming like shes embarrassed #of what i am and what a lot of our other friends r #bit too personal for this acc lmao #a-study-in-bullshit

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nyanbinary-catboy · 2 years

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Taking the pretty common mantra "cock goes in, brain goes out" further, imagine being fucked by your owner's cock, and every time they thrust out, your mind comes back just a little, only for it to disappear again a moment later when they thrust back in. And again. Fractionated by the thrusting of their cock.

Cock goes in, brain goes out. Cock goes out, brain goes in. Cock goes in, brain goes out...

#kitten babbles #hypnokink #hypnosub #hypno pet #hypno slave #brainwashing #mind conditioning #dumbification #mantras #gender neutral nsft

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phoenixcatch7 · 7 months

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Kintsukuroi

'What if I put a clock pendulum in my torso' was the sort of question Bruce had come to expect when visiting Oracle.

"Pendulums are dependant on a stable base," he replied, because the last time he'd assumed they were being unserious Tim had tried to fit a chemistry test lab in his mouth and accidentally leaked the fumes through his mask.

"It'd be so aesthetic though," said Barbara, not looking up from the dozen screens she was surrounded by. "Listen. It would look so cool - Spoiler, robbery on fifth and main - Especially if I put a clock face over my heart."

"I thought you were trying to fit a super computer in it?"

"I was, but progress is slow. It's hard to fit it and enough padding to protect it plus leave enough room for ventilation. If I add the pendulum I might at least get inspiration." She gave a heavy sigh and pushed away from the desk, gliding in her chair to where her doll body was resting on a table, the glue separating the two halves of the smashed torso still glistening. Bruce followed, peering over her at the many scanners and wires hooked into it, flashing and beeping.

"Any luck?" he asked, and they both knew he wasn't talking about the computer anymore.

"Nothing."

He squeezed her shoulder, and she leant into it. They stayed there for a long moment.

"I just don't understand!" Barbara finally burst out, hands clenching on her chair arms. "I glued nearly every single piece back together! I made sure every splinter I could find went exactly where it should! I know the contract is still there. She's worked with more missing pieces before. But she's just not responding!"

"It's not you," Bruce soothed. "You've more than enough determination and strength to puppet, and we know the human body's state doesn't affect performance."

"That's the thing!" Barbara threw her hands up angrily, nearly smacking Bruce in the face. There was a chatter over comms, and both reached for their own. "One second," she said tightly, and wheeled back into the glow of the monitors. "Copy. BW, you're nearest? Thanks. Try and avoid the sniper this time. Wing, backup is in five."

She muted again and spun around, pinning Bruce with a heavy stare. "Is there anything, anything you can think of? We've - nothing I've tried has worked."

"Well...." He trailed off, one hand coming up to rub at the chin of his mask - a quiet night meant the opportunity to forgo the practical but muffling gas mask for his favoured plain black.

It was far from the first time a doll had been horrifically damaged. The incident with Bane came to mind - Batman had been in a very similar condition, body shorn clean in two and tossed to opposite corners. It was an awful memory, but the expression on Bane and the audience's faces as his bloodless body fell apart like a rotting tree trunk and then kept moving was a silver lining he'd always treasure.

But he'd been repaired and back on his feet in weeks, if bearing the incandescent fury of the doll for several more. It had been months for Barbara, and still nothing was happening.

"There's something we're missing, and I doubt it's on your side."

"I know THAT-"

"Listen," he demanded, and her jaw clicked shut mutinously. "There's something we're not seeing. Batgirl is in no shape to demand it herself, it seems. So its inaction is something we can't fully rely on."

"You've got the most experience with the dolls of all of us. Can you.. I don't know, sense anything?"

"Nothing more than the usual, with the Patriarch Doll, but we might get more if we return to the doll house -"

"No." Barbara interrupted again, but Bruce did not take offence. "She's not going anywhere. She doesn't want to head back to the cave."

Oh?

"She doesn't want to, or she doesn't care to?"

"I say she doesn't."

Interesting. This was likely a case of the doll exerting its will. The bats were well versed in avoiding the few lines their wooden bodies drew in the sand, treating them with the wary respect one would give a favorite blade or a highly trained attack dog. They could work together, share the highs and lows of life with them, but never get complacent. The dolls were forever a foreign, inhuman presence, and as with all wild creatures they would never be so arrogant as to assume full understanding. For Barbara to so strongly decide for the doll meant she was most likely not the only one deciding.

Which meant the solution would not be found in the cave.

"Perhaps there are upgrades she wishes to have?"

Oracle paused.

"Maybe," she conceded. "But there's practically a limitless amount of things I could do, and I wouldn't know where to start. And I could more easily do them when she's up and walking."

Not that then. If the doll wanted something to change but not receive upgrades or heal, than what?

... Not heal.

Batman hurried to the table. Oracle watched him with hawk eyes, but another call on the comms turned her away with a final warning glance.

Recovering every single splinter from a damaged wooden object and perfectly reattaching it was nigh impossible on a good day, never mind in the dead of night with a moving target. The dolls always returned to the cave to regenerate scratches and nicks they couldn't buff out, or accepted plaster to transmute with whatever supernatural power guided them.

The batgirl on the table, divested of all covering and armour, was still as chipped and scuffed as the day nightwing recovered last splinter.

The pieces fell into place.

"She doesn't want to be perfectly rebuilt," he realised. "She doesn't want the damage to disappear as it normally does... She wants it to remain visible. A different type of repair, then."

Oracle spun in her wheelchair to face him.

"Why?" she asked, something sharp in her eyes. Bruce chose his next words carefully.

"Perhaps she thinks such damage doesn't need to be hidden away," he said, slowly, and didn't comment when she turned away. Though she put on a strong face, and the doctors had recently released her full time, it would be a long time until the young hero was able to truly heal her mind.

"She doesn't need to do that for me. She's just causing me trouble."

"I don't think she is," he tried. "Dolls tend to reflect their puppeteer even after they accept us. You can't deny your trajectory has been changed."

They both sent a significant look to the enormous super computer taking up the wall.

"You've said you almost feel better able to protect Gotham now, with your reach and skills. Do you really feel that way?"

"I - I don't -" her mouth worked silently, and Bruce waited. "I mean I guess... But a part of me always assumed it'd be temporary, you know? Once I fixed batgirl.. It'd all return to normal." Her voice wobbled, and Bruce didn't hesitate to crouch before her, wrapping her in a long armed hug. She buried herself in his chest, regardless of the chilled metal.

"It's okay if you don't," he whispered into her hair, and held her as she shook. "I'm just throwing ideas around."

"I do though," she rasped. "I think I do feel that way. There's so much that can't be solved by violence, and it feels good to be out there but... I think I can help even more people, this way."

"That's good," he praised, "that's good. You can do whatever you set your mind to."

"You stole that from a parenting book verbatim."

"It's applicable to the current situation."

"Fine," she sighed, and pushed him away to roughly scrub at her eyes. "I'll give the doll another chance. Find some glitter glue or something, I don't know."

"Any materials you need will be provided," he promised. "I wouldn't recommend glitter glue or our usual tar."

He moved to pat her on the hair as the emotions of the moment faded, making sure to keep his unsheathed claws out of her hair.

"Once you fix her, though, I would recommend you puppet the doll during night hours still," he told her. "It wouldn't be good to put your body through twenty hour days."

"I've got a good system set up for now, but thank, B-man."

The computer dinged with another alert, and oracle spun to squint at it with a muffled curse, typing furiously. Batman escaped to the other side of the room, where the folders he'd originally come looking for lay. She waved, distracted, as he left, and although the doll could not smile, he could feel it on his face all the same.

@puppetmaster13u I summon thee dear mutual ^^

#I don't know which of us came up with the kintsukuroi idea but it worked brilliantly #Unexpected discussion of clinging to the idea of normality as something that can be returned to despite thinking you're okay with your #Life altering chronic condition diagnosis 🫠#Off screen nightwing is just not having a good time #I'm still testing out my characterisation of b but I'm pretty happy with him. Good dad b but also pre/no Ethiopia so he's healthier as it i #Oh btw the dolls don't have gender being inanimate the bats are anthropomorphising them #In the same way sailors call their boats she or my mum decided the roomba is a he #Some world building! I stuffed a lot in lol #I like the idea of the bats having different masks. Like the gas mask is for arkham breakouts or gas villains or ivy so it's the famous one #But they also use plain cloth masks or ceramic ones or decorative ones when the occasion calls. They've got scuba ones too #long post #batman #world building #worldbuilding #bruce wayne #possessed doll au #haunted doll #cryptid batman #cryptid batfam #batman au #dc oracle #barbara gordon #batgirl #I'm trying to keep the dolls as mindless but watchful as possible #Like they don't have opinions or ideas or anything. You could do literally whatever you wanted as long as you follow The Rules #I don't think the bats really know about the contracts. I think b has inferred something. But it's more trial and error #One idea I had is that the dolls are powered by the life force of past users mutated into... Whatever tf from all the curses.#So by entering the contract you lose a significant chunk of your ability to enter the afterlife.#Yes this would only be noticed by the jl going to the future and trying to find the souls of everyone or smth for whatever reason #And the bats don't have much of anything. Leading to the further impression that they aren't remotely human

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hypnobunboy · 11 months

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thinking of someone making a drop trigger tied to a really strong perfume so it acts like a brain-wiping aphrodesiac . one spritz is just enough to get you a lil ditzy and turned on but a few more and you're a drooling toy .

#hypnokink #brainwashing #mind conditioning #hypno slave #hypnosis #gender neutral bimbofication #t4t nsft #@ my partner only #trance

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not-spiders · 8 months

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skin conditions are super fucking hot actually. like fuck the beauty industry we are SO beautiful dude

sincerely, someone with perioral dermatitis and rosacea who is fucking sick of being told i’m supposed to want to get rid of them for any reasons other than physical comfort. fuck you, this is my face. get the hell used to it.

#skin condition #skin condition positivity #dermatitis #rosacea #eczema #acne #<- tagging eczema and acne cause i also know ppl get insecure about those pretty frequently as well and #i want ppl to see this cause like babe!!! you’re so beautiful (gender neutral by the way) idc what ppl have to say

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5eraphim · 5 months

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Yandere Heavy is an untapped well of infinite content! Can you do something with an S/O who's really sweet and gentle but doesn't like seeing Heavy be, well, so violent and brutal all the time? Like a pacifist! How would Yandere Heavy act around them? Would really love to see it!

Character: Heavy 🐻 (Team Fortress 2)

Rating: M (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT GO PLAY OUTSIDE)

Content Warnings: HEAVY forced domesticity, infantilization, yandere, TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, fear tactics, gender neutral reader,

Word Count: 1.5k

MASTER LIST

TIP JAR

There's a decent chance Heavy would struggle to understand the concept of pacifism. War and fighting are such a massive part of his lifestyle; imagining someone opposing this, embracing a path of complete nonviolence, this way of life baffles him.

Furthermore, Heavy might fear your opposition to war extends to himself as well and fears you think less of him for his violent ways and how he was practically born to fight. Heavy might feel a bit embarrassed about getting loud and physically rough whenever he gets excited and couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious around you because of it.

Unlike some of the more sadistic yanderes (like literally anyone on the support team), Heavy takes a little pride in seeing you scared, much less afraid of himself. While he's never been great at noticing or understanding the feelings of others, the look on your face when you see him returning home after a particularly nasty battle says it all.

Consider the relationship starting with Heavy developing feelings for a new team member, specifically another defense class member. Assuming the feelings are mutual, you couldn't help but feel a little horrified learning his primary role in the team is to soak up as much damage from the other side as possible to protect the rest. If anyone were built for such a task, it would be him, but it hardly makes watching him fight any easier to bear.

Assuming you were an honest-to-God pacifist, your position on the team wouldn't last long. (And momentarily ignoring how on earth a pacifist managed to find himself contracted into mercenary work.) After a day of senseless death and fighting over virtually nothing, seeing people you care about being brought to the brink of death only to be thrown right into battle was a living nightmare. You simply weren't cut out for mercenary work, and you were gone the day your contract was over.

A part of you wanted to stick around longer with Heavy, maybe even beg him to consider heading out with you, but what was the point? Even if you loved him, there was no way you could change his mind about abandoning the fight, especially not while he's got a family back home to provide for.

Saying goodbye would hurt too much. Instead, you left without a word.

Heavy was devastated the day he found out you were gone and refused to accept the idea that you were lost for good.

Realistically, his first course of action would be contacting Administrator or Ms. Pauling to try and obtain your contact information, and considering you're no longer under contract, either woman would turn the documents over to him without a second thought.

And by God, if you thought you felt guilty for walking out without telling Heavy anything before, you were downright mortified to see the look of concern and hurt on his face when he managed to find you.

Despite high emotions as well as your own shame for being caught trying to run away like this, Heavy would force you to sit and tell him why you left so suddenly without saying anything to him and being his blunt self, would want to know right away if you ran away because of something he did.

While Heavy wanted to make sure you were safe first, but when you confessed how it pained you to see him getting brutalized every day as the human meat shield, he failed to understand what you meant by this. Heavy was praised all his life for being the strong man who could soak up as much damage as he needed to in the name of protecting others. Heavy never considered why someone wouldn't want him to do what he does best.

An unhappy reunion turns into a sweet unofficial date, Heavy offering to help you unpack and settle down before he decides to move in with you full-time. (While he knows this is the right thing to do, a part of him hates granting you this, fearing you'd realize you preferred life alone than with him and go back on your request for him to move in with you.)

Likes to pop in uninvited when you're alone for a little one-on-one time. It really gets Heavy going when he comes after a battle, thinking about the look of worry on your face when you greet him. Even though he's been patched up, the bandages frighten you, and you do your best to ensure everything is in place correctly and if there is more you could do for his injuries. If you were a pacifist before you joined the mercenary group, your time away from all the conflict has made you even softer.

Heavy is about to call you a baby as a joke when he realizes that's exactly what happened to you when you left the team.

You were making it so easy for him to infantilize you for wimping out of the war, then moving out to the shoddiest little room you could afford to look for extra money until you could really get back on your own two feet again made you look so desperate and needy. Even if you weren't begging Heavy to help provide for you and keep you company, it's what you desperately needed. Confessing your affection for him when he found you; it made perfect sense in his head.

When he eventually does move in, he starts acting differently right off the bat. He insists you let him cover finances and rent so you can focus on finding a better place to work. You want to disagree. Sure, his job pays well, but it's wrong to leech off him like that, even if you were in a relationship. However, you don't say no for too long despite good intentions. Heavy's offer is too good to refuse, and he knows it.

If the guilt of accepting such support from Heavy wasn't bad enough, things would worsen when Heavy would insist on taking baths with you, reading to you before bed, and cooking for both of you on top of working. You hated feeling so impotent and passive in your own life, but when he was already doing so much for you, wouldn't you deny his request to care for you however he wanted?

Little by little, life with Heavy changed in ways you couldn't understand and despised. Heavy felt distant like the two of you weren't talking like you used to. He withdrew in the bedroom, and things never progressed past kissing or cuddling. You were frustrated and felt like Heavy's overly gentle and smothering behavior made you feel like his child, not his partner.

You officially snapped when Heavy proposed a new rule: you weren't allowed to leave the house while he was gone. Claiming this was for your safety, he didn't like the idea of something happening to you, and he wouldn't find you. Breaking down into tears, begging him to stop babying you, and you were a grown adult, and this wasn't healthy for either of you. To your horror, despite all but begging on your knees for him to do the right thing and end the relationship, he smiled. As though grimly satisfied you finally realized precisely what was going on here and asked if you needed to rest since you were getting so fussy. And from that moment on, you knew your fate was sealed.

Any fleeting thoughts of trying to escape were crushed when you were not so subtly reminded. Heavy kept a copy of your personal file and private information he obtained from the Administrator, and if you were to try to escape, he would know exactly where to go looking for you. And at best, find you quickly and take you back home, and at worst, take out his wrath on whatever poor family member or friend happened to answer the door.

The only person he would trust with information about harboring you like a hostage is Medic. Primarily because if something were to happen to you, Medic is the only person he would trust to take care of you. Medic might get involved physically a few times but is more curious to observe than anything else.

Despite a great deal of indecision and inner turmoil over struggling between wanting to make you happier and proving he's not some violent monster and knowing this is how he has always been, odds are he'll choose to stay true to what he believes to be his genuine nature. To embrace living as he was meant to. Even if he's not entirely happy with us, it's just how it's meant to be.

Heavy is a mother bear to his core and protecting smaller, less able people is what he has to do. There's nothing you or even he can do about it at the end of the day.

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