#gaslight myself into thinking it was amazing actually<3

[too-many-rooks]

Spoiler warning: Long rambly notes I took while watching season 3, disclaimer that a lot of this is just character moments/lines I found interesting and initial bones of an au idea for a burgeoning, extremely self indulgent slightly-darker-Alex in season 3 wip I’ve started.

Also it was the middle of the night and I was very tired and wired out of my gourd on some mix of cheap white wine and floods of hyperfixation-sourced dopamine. Also also I only started taking notes at ep 3?

Episode 3

Alex is SUCH a better spy this season than when he began even in the first few episodes prior to SCORPIA training he’s more careful and precise and the team feels better organised - he did so well on that boat I’m so proud of my baby

I’m actually enjoying Tom and Kyra fucking about more than I expected. Tom pulling Kyra together after the boat explosion suprised me by how emotive it was. But I do want them to.. go away. Alex should more isolated/desperate/have NO other choices than SCORPIA.

Everything in Malagosto seems so staged to just see how Alex will react to it all - here’s an unlocked door, here’s an Alex sized vent and a dead spot in the cameras, what are you gonna do about it? +Alex absolutely speaks French I think he’s just not giving that away yet

Oh yes yes lingering bad touch from Julia Rothman hitting the right notes even though that costume is a WILD kaftan moment. Evil carmen sandiago/noir femme fatale aesthetic where are you I miss you so much

Ohhhh Julia saying Ian walked away and abandoned him and that was what hit him worst oh my goooooooooood

(Outfit change from julie mean day change or is she just a multiple outfits a day kinda person. Believable, I guess)

Julia’s gaslighting I ssoooo crazy ‘we trust you. We want you.’ After having his closest people not trust him, and now maybe questioning if Ian even wanted him!

Julia fucking loved this, she’s totally thrilled by her own power. Queen 👸🏻.

God Jones and the department is going THROUGH IT THIS SEASON, just suddenly surrounded by corpses

Julia : offers irrefutable proof, upsets him, then presses him to continue believing what he did before and belittling his objections - very subtle but more firm tone of voice, less motherly/accepting, very clear that the noose around Alex’s neck is always there.

She’s so delighted at the prospect of making Alex into the perfect soldier

Julia: “I want you to meet your tutor”

Me: ‘here he here he comes here he comes.’ And then I threw of my blanket, pushed myself onto my knees, and started bouncing and palm clapping in sheer delight. I basically never happy stim like this but MY GOD the flood of dopamine is IMMENSE.

More manic laughter at the start of episode 4 realising I’m about to see John and young Yassen. Nicuragua! 18 years ago!

God nervous baby Yassen with a gun

HES!! SO!!! BABY!!!

Baby boy already got his colour scheme locked down

Baby Yassen has curls - is it just the humidity or maybe does he have naturally curly hair that he straightens so he looks less cute?

Johns actor has a real resemblance to Ian (and Jack Lowden) but less so to otto

Ohoho scar moment scar moment bc Yassen was nervous and fucked up two people one bullet

“Close your eyes” as I tell these people I’m going to shoot you and have faith

God cut to adult Yassen WATCHING ALEX SLEEP LOOKING SO INTENSE

“Leave the past behind us.” “Ian rider was a professional. It was not personal it was my job.” “Think of this as a school and your dead by the end of the day” (actual honesty for the first time)

Alex not committing to being able to work with Yassen is perfect

Yassen taking Alex TO HIS KNEES so easily besties not been slowed down too much by a bullet to the chest

Soaking wet!!!!!!!!

Alex shooting scene amazing, as was Yassen bursting into his room immediately after for a murder pep talk. Alex has no privacy privileges from Yassen

Yassen removing the humanity from his targets, names/faces/lives are irrelevant, they are just blank targets. “One day you’ll have to murder them.”

“That’s not gonna happen”

Yassen *be so ffr rn face*

Really interesting to see the other side of the department covering up an agent death and lying to the family - I like the department with more humanity/emotional resonance than pure ruthlessness

Shitty Malagosto communal dorm room and matching drab grey hoodies my beloved

Shame there’s no ‘your not afraid of a little prick are you?’ ‘I wouldn’t call you that’ line. (But switching out the ‘getting vaccinated will implant you with secret nano tech that will kill you’ plottline probs a good idea)

Ooooh Julia creepily poisoning him so excited making me think of her delighting in drugging him in a cocktail of ‘let me take care of you’ ways

Yassen pulling rank to break up the fight!!

Ooh Nile wants to take down Yassen so bad.

Toms film skills coming in clutch recording/ documenting things so Alex will be taken seriously, glad to see him be… less of a dead weight to the team

Begrudgingly-impressed-at-Alex Yassen, even with the “come on that’s a bad idea”, “yeah, but!” Teenagerisms

Yassen’s core (suppressed) emotions: fear, doubt, panic

Alex: love, hope, friendship (okay dear, 🙄 but remember you’re literally becoming an assassin why are you so niave all of a sudden?)

Alex insisting John saved him bc he had compassion and was his friend and that Yassen’s rejection of that makes him lonely oh oh my heart my heart

I LOVE how much fun Nile has being evil at his job, which is threatening children.

Episode 5

Oh my god HIT HIM ALEX where do you think you are? How do you think you’ll actually manage to get those trainees to trust you? Stop whining and hit the man with a wooden sword, christ

Smithers (in reference to Alex) “he’s out there being a teenager because of us” *cut to Alex, very much in danger, contemplating his capacity to kill*

Julia: “no one leaves,” [scorpia, me, interchangeable to her]

mission with Yassen!

Packing for the mission with Yassen!!!

Yassen can’t read his handwriting!!!

“You’ve put… lockpick?”

“I left my last one in Nile. “

Alex bitching about his meagre gadgets at point Blanc 💯

Matching tactical turtlenecks!!!

“I don’t want you to fail. I don’t want you to die.”

Alex and Yassen are a team but Yassen gives Alex command of them oh boysieeeee

Again glad they dropped the vaccine bit: vaccines aren’t dangerous, but vaping is!!

Of on a road trip with Yassen!!

A murder road trip!

Love Kyra seeing the shot and the body - I know why it didn’t happen but I do kinda wish for a more corrupted violent Alex coerced/bargained into firing it himself

That Tom confrontation was great - I do want to see it as like a ‘your getting in my way’ intentional cruelty to push him away and keep him safe when Alex is too deep in SCORPIA to be deluded about thinking he can go home

Alex rejects intimacy with Julia and she cracks down her authority ‘no one leaves’

Ep 6

Love Alex spooky in the cemetery, SCORPIA hot on his heels

Sharing a grotty safe house together god SO GOOD

“We trust each other. You should try it sometime.”

“If it’s not emotional why do you do it?”

“Because it’s my job. (Identity/life/personal connections/sacrificed everything for) I work for SCORPIA. I’m good at it. You could be too.” Olive branch of intimacy - wants alex to be more like him, so they can be equals, can share this life that he apparently finds satisfaction in, not thinking or making decisions beyond how best to achieve his goal/finish the task(/order)assigned to him/subject himself to feeling emotions/thinking about his life beyond his attempts to depersonalise himself as just a weapon - just a professional with no emotions, and that that is fundamentally who he is. Evidently having some inconvenient feelies about Alex tho.

Oh no his delivery disguise makes him look like a caveman. Glad he took off the accessories for the Jones confrontation, his hair actually looks great there all tousled. (Beginning to realise how important characters hair is to me bc I still hate Julia’s I want some dark perfect waves this Bob is ough)

I’m really glad they settled on Yassen NOT knowing about John - he twists it that John didn’t betray him bc he had nothing to gain from being kind to him, so it wasn’t false, but he is so 100% loyal to John, eager to twist any criticism. I do wish we’d seen more of their relationship, but expecting some Russian roulette bits was overly optimistic

“I know my place” he’s IMMEDIATELY off to rescue his boy (actually, where did he go? All of that last episode I was just WHAT ABOUT YASSEN? Was he just plotting a rescue that didn’t need to happen and waiting for his boy to show up?)

Dare I say… good for blunt? Stephen dillane is just so charming I can’t help but like him. And you see some flashes of his ruthlessness like when he talks to Greif but he’s not a 24/7 conniving monster. Also Jones in charge and Alex possibly (definitely) returning to spy work in a couple of years? I like that. Totally abandoning it would have felt unsatisfying.

Loved that moment on the roof - missed opportunity for them to awkwardly wave at each other, but I’m so happy I predicted wrongly and Yassen gets to live and walk away and put down his weapons. There’s so much space for how they can reconnect in that.

#alex rider #alex rider spoilers #Alex rider season 3 spoilers

[foreverformula1]

F1 hard truth:

Lando Norris’ hardships in basic academics as shown in Grill the Grid isn’t solely the fault for training for F1 and dyslexia but also probably his lack of interest regarding educating himself and/or how he was academically educated growing up.

Because it’s interesting how this argument comes up only when it’s about Norris and sometimes some others too. But all drivers are pretty much average and Verstappen who is known for being the Top 1 at the moment, has a shocking pre F1 victory strike since Karting days (LITERALLY NEVER ARRIVING SECOND!) , countless stories about his hardships with his father coaching him since he was about 3 years old and making F1 all of his life, is often one of the best at these same games.

Fernando Alonso and Sabastian Vettel too.

The truth is that one might not me much intelligent and that’s about it, I completely understand it and struggle with it myself even when I was pushed academically more than my classmates.

But it becomes inexcusable when you don’t know where your country is. Something a 7 year old can do. He, like the others, travel the world as a job, even in their karting days.

We can sympathise with it and him, but don’t make excuses ,come up with theories or put the blame on motorsport. It shows that you are trying to sugarcoat it because you are aware that there’s no defence for it. He’s just … uneducated on basic geography but you don’t want to think about it because you like him. But you don’t have to “unfollow” him because of it. You can still like everything else about him while admitting that it can be better and surely without shaming him!

I believe that formal institutionalised academics are to ensure a certain level is reached. You actually can learn everything alone but of course, can’t or are not allowed to do some things without certification, for everyone’s safety. So it doesn’t make sense that just because someone didn’t complete high school, they are illiterate and completely stupid. As someone who comes from countries with actual illiterate people and is the daughter of one (who is now literate but you can see the struggle when one reached a certain age and the brain has harder times correcting some errors). So please stop theorizing that just because he or other drivers haven’t attended university or maybe have not finished high school, they are uneducated.

Edit: I saw the replies and rechecked my post, you are right and I modified the term. But I want to explain that I did not mean that he is actually stupid. I was just lacking of words and terms to explain what I meant. Now I replaced it with “Uneducated on basic geography” because I know very well he has other theological knowledge that would be hard to me. The “illiterate” part is misunderstood, I meant that as a way to indeed say that I believe the contrary: People can be literate without high school. I added it there because a pet peeve of mine is people actually being convinced that without a minimum of 3 years of university makes you illiterate all of a sudden. It’s a silly mentality to me, and it’s always an ick when a “fan” of him uses this “excuse”. I wanted to be understood but I messed up and I am sorry, but I hope you people understand what I meant in general with the post. I did not make it to shade him or point it out unlike many people in various social medias and comments under these videos;

I made this post to tell people who overanalyze and over-excuse him to just let it be. That’s it. It’s backhanded to put so much energy into this and prove otherwise when it’s plain simple (and other factors could play a role in it too, I know). But some people want to gaslight themselves into thinking that a celebrity of their liking is not as amazing(according to their personal standards and values) as they wish they were. People do this with other celebrities too, pushing the narrative that one is “secretly intentionally chaotic” or the contrary, just an example. People need to accept their celebrities without the guilt for one thing that turns them off. Or at least respect it and not force said narrative. People will gaslight themselves into changing the smallest details about celebrities to “vibe” better with them. Especially females (or maybe I notice it more with them because I am also one?), for example they will make hundreds of posts to show that they appreciate the female star’s natural voice when in reality it’s just simply at its’ deepest. I think it’s tied with the “not like the other girls” preference. Because they act like they have super high pitched voices when they simply are…ladies with an average feminine voice+feminine (sometimes hyper) style and persona. And all feminine things are now being called “cutesy” and childlike. When sometimes they are simply feminine /+and pretty. Because many times they are not even obnoxious at it. You’d think that they are talking about an anime girl voice, but it’s just a lady. They just don’t vibe with her voice and will gaslight themselves that she’s pushing it , ‘but that’s okay to them’.

#f1 #formula one #formula 1 #mine #lando norris #mclaren formula 1

[likely-moony]

Not gonna lie I miss y/n darlington

Comfort book 🥹

Girl(Neutral), same!!

Can’t believe Wattpad, smh.

That book was my favourite place to go when I needed comfort from my amazing readers <3

And I had such tragic plot twists and a heart-churning ending planned to offer more emotional damage, lol.

One of my plot twists/ending was actually so sad that even I, myself (The cruel author), broke into tears for a good 10 minutes.

And I might come back sooner or later with a newer updated version of the book that isn’t so boring but has the same brilliant plot.

But since I feel bad for my lovely readers, I guess I’ll include some Yandere headcanons for one of the more yandere-ish characters ;)

(Keep in mind, the ending in these headcanons is not the actual ending)

Stay, Darling ~ Harry Potter ~

Stay Darling

Paring: Yandere Harry Potter x Reader

Type/Words: Headcannons ~ 757 Words

Synopsis: Just some regular pre and post hogwarts headcanons

TW!!: Yandere-Themes, Yandere Characters, Abuse Of Power (Intellectual and Supernaturally), Mentions Of Death, Unhealthy Obsession, Force, Forceful Relationships, Mentions Of Threats, Obsessive Characters, Unhealthy Feelings, Manipulation, drugging, use of amortentia, kidnapping.

Masterlist

Rules For Requesting

Taglist

Harry is a very impulsive person.

That's just how he’s always been.

Well, after he lost his patience with the Dursleys, that is.

Harry doesn't think twice about something before he does it, which explains the way he often spoke in a dark tone in front of you whenever you were to talk to anyone that Harry deemed bad.

Harry is also constantly jealous.

Like, VERY jealous.

He doesn’t care that he’s the chosen one and that everyone loves him and he has a whole mountain of gold in his Gringotts bank, and that he’s a brilliant wizard that has a significant mark in history, why are you talking to Malfoy?! >:c

It’s not cute.

At all.

Especially when you two start to enter the higher years at Hogwarts. (around year 4,5,6)

And Harry’s frustrations start to peak at the most normal things.

He starts to restrict you, a lot.

And you don’t even realise it.

He’s constantly gaslighting you into thinking he has the right to tell you what’s good and what’s not.

He’s always craving your attention and doesn’t want to share it with anyone.

And when we mix the fact that you were re-incarnated and had known and loved many others before him, into the pot, Harry nearly explodes.

He’s a selfish man-slut and is willing to do anything to make you stay with him.

So if you mention any nonsense like leaving him in the future after Hogwarts to enjoy/re-live your past or something, then you best run.

Harry will not allow anything like that.

He’ll force you to stay, and he doesn’t care what he has to do to secure the future with you and him.

First, he’ll try to persuade you, He’ll use any method.

Gaslighting, blaming, pretending to be the victim, anything.

Then, he’ll use oblivio on you.

If that doesn’t work or you somehow remembered, he’ll use amortentia.

The strongest, most powerful amortentia, all of it just for you <3.

He’ll apologise when you regain your memories after oblivio or when it doesn’t work and quietly sits you down.

He’ll go and make a cup of tea to talk with you about it. Let’s hope the amortentia doesn't sneak into the tea.

Harry would have a stone-cold expression when he’s adding more than enough amortentia to your cup.

He’s not smiling, no. Why should he?

You’ve rejected him over and over this far, this is what it has come to.

He has to do this… there’s no choice.

Now, while he’s making the “safe” potion, you’d have two options: Realise that Harry is crazy and a psycho and run away, considering your bags are already packed and you still have your wand OR hear him out and see if he would change.

If you chose to stay, due to the pity you had for Harry, well-... Fuck.

Harry would set the tea down and slowly watch with snake eyes as you’d drink the tea.

He’d slowly and softly explain the situation to you, slowly creeping his hand over to yours.

When your fingers touch, instead of flinching, your fingers lean towards him due to the effect of amortentia...

Then eventually, your fingers intertwined and so, your palms came together and you held hands from across the small table.

And you were now trapped, forever in his grasp.

But if you were to have realised Harry’s psychotic love, and had run away, Oh dear…

Of course, you aren’t gonna be able to run away without making a single noise, so when harry heard a little sound he called out for you and asked if you were okay.

When he didn’t hear anything, in a panic, Harry ran into the living only to find you gone.

Harry’s a fast man, and he knows apparition, so it isn’t too hard to catch you. And when he does, he uses a spell to tie you up in place and picks up your resistant body.

He’d bring you home, but by then the spell had worn off.

He cast a spell on you, causing you to fall on the couch, a deep sleep overtaking you.

And in a flash, Harry spots your wand before he reaches out for it.

This wand had saved you many times, Harry thanks it for that, but it also stuck around the whole time you were in love with others.

Jealousy takes over so he hold it tightly and breaks it in half.

Why would you need a wand when you have him?

Good night, love~

Hope you enjoyed it <3

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #tw yandere #soft yandere #yandere imagines #yandere x y/n #yandere headcanons #yandere harry potter #male yandere x reader #yandere harry #yandere harry potter x reader #harry potter x reader #yandere h.p #yandere hp #yandere hp x reader #tw kidnapping #tw drugging #pitiful memories #pitiful memories (yandere h.p x reader)

[blissooya]

[WEVERSE] 230506 슝이🌹 update

Play with me🫶🏻

👤 : Jisoo song recommendation!

🐰 : Shoongie recommends Shoong

👤 : Receiving a reply is hard

🐰 : Receiving a reply isn't easy but what if you're as happy when you do get it?!

👤 : Kitty vs Koromi ?? 💜❤️💜❤️

🐰 : I can't give up on Kuromi.. Since I like purple hahahehehe

👤 : I'm angry. You don't reply to me every time.

🐰 : You have a lot of anger! Don't be angry! It's your loss if you get angry! haha

👤 : Jisoonie!!!! What are you doing up at this time!!!!! 😤

🐰 : I ate too much so I'm digesting~

👤 : When will BLACKPINK do the first ptich?

🐰 : kekekeke I do want to try, when I was young I threw a lot to my dad

👤 : Jisoonie today did you get hit with a lot of Pochacco-lighting??

🐰 : However I'm not the type to get gaslighted

👤 : Unnie during tour Shut Down rap that says me, was it a spoiler when pointing at your face??

🐰 : No, that's just really me! keke Actually besides music shows during concert, Jennie was too far away for me to point at her so I just pointed at me!

👤 : Jisoo unnie what drama are you watching? I'm so curious

🐰 : Sorry but I'm not watching drama, instead I'm watching Hunter X Hunter. Sorry haha

👤 : Jisoo unnie why are your hands so fast? I can't keep up with unnies typing speed

🐰 : I also surprise myself too sometimes!

👤 : Today's tmi

🐰 : Why!! Why are you curious?! I'm also curious! Why are people curious about todays tmi because at the fansign I got this question so many times that I ran out of tmi's so I had come up with some in the end!! That's today's tmi

👤 : Unnie give Coachella behind !!

🐰 : People really like behind and tmi! Hm.. right before the show there was a mirror that was like the size of a door and with Jennie, we both kept practicing around 3x speed kekeke

👤 : Unnie, have you watched Avatar?🙋🏻‍♀️

🐰 : No! I just.. heard a lot about it so I know cg is amazing!

👤 : I like All Eyes On Me so much

🐰 : I like it too kkkekeke 🥰

👤 : How many Iced Americanos did you drink? ☕️

🐰 : 3 cups!!!!! How did I end up drinking this many?!

👤 : Look forward to Hyde Park!

🐰 : Isn't that something I'm supposed to say?! Look forward to it! haha

👤: Do you like the new Blackpink game?

🐰 : I haven't tried it yet kkkk I want to quickly try it. I told them about the fun parts from different games I played, but we'll see!!!!!

👤 : Jisoo, if I go to the fansign, I can dance the Flower challenge in front of Jisoo! kekeke

🐰 : You're saying this because you weren't at the fansign right????

👤 : If Blinks become cockroaches what are you gonna do???

🐰 : Someone asked me this a while ago kekekeke I'll put you in my house and I'll throw away(?) the house but I told them not to worry because I'll bring a lot of food ! I'll make you live in abundance(?)! kekeke

👤 : Kim: Kim Jisoo's Flower song is so good

Ji: Be as beautiful as you are right now

Soo: Watermelon

🐰 : 100 points

👤 : Jisoo, Jennie doesn't know the meaning of 농협은행 (NongHyup Bank) kekeke

🐰 : .... Then did I just become a person who wrote a bank name under her picture?

👤 : How do you feel that many people used Flower song for challenges?

🐰 : The dogs and cats are so cute. Even for me, I thought I even would want to film it with my pet to show them off but the distance between dream and reality are so far, Dalgomie fail!

👤 : How did you learn about NongHyup Bank meme?

🐰 : kekekeke Maeng-saem told me..🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

👤 : How long will Jisoo stay on for today~ When will you reply? Did you eat hot pot~ Was something happy that happened today?

🐰 : I was happy because I met Blinks kekekeke I was able to talk with them and Blinks reactions are so funny, do Blinks think I'm funny too?

👤 : Pochacoo Kim Jisoo lovers were very happy today ❤️ Pochacco selfie lets go! And I'm curious who your favorite Hunter X Hunter character is 🥹

🐰 : Killua! It's my 5th time watching! .. kkkkkkkk

👤 : The only person who makes my heart flutter, Jisoo 🩵🩵🩵

🐰 : What's these heart colors?! 🤍🩶🩷🤎🩵 wow... I just found out

👤 : Unnie you're the only one who hasn't forgotten your password??? 😁😁🤣 The other members seem to have forgotten

🐰 : Because I'm a genius!(?)

👤 : Do you have a Netflix drama recommendation?

🐰 : It's not a drama but Kill Boksoon kkkk!

👤 : While making the Flower logo design with Chaeyoung, were there any episodes?

🐰 : She also helped pick the Today's Jisoo logo with me haha

👤 : Pull down the shutter and close the door! Im the last comment! Jisoonie leave only the scent of flower and go

🐰 : kkkk oh thats right I was about to leave. It's really the last comment haha great timing, I'm leaving only the scent of flower and going to sleep~~! Going haha🌹

keke It was so fun today I wanted to talk to Blinks before going to bed so I came! haha Let's have fun tomorrow as well!!! Tomorrow I'll try to sign quickly so we can talk more haha Sleep well and see you tomorrow ♥️ Love you🫶🏻 Nyongan!!!

#jisoo #blackpink #jisoo updates #blackpink updates #blackpink jisoo #jisoo blackpink #kim jisoo #jisoo kim #bp jisoo #jisoo bp #블랙핑크 지수 #블랙핑크 #지수 #김지수 #weverse

[souryogurt64]

the essay!!!! i read that shit instead of studying for my exam so if i fail it is your fault miss yogurt (kidding). i am continuously amazed at your abilities and your perfectly dry-but-witty journalistic style that i am ohsoinlove with. reading the sentence “(Also unsurprisingly, Gray is about gaslighting a girl until she dies.)” took me out lma. ! i love all of ur writing, tho i am obviously biased since it’s on topics that interest me - however, the amount of work and dedication that you are able to designate not only to a complex split of a band, but also personal relationships, biographies, lyrical and prose analysis is astounding! anyway,,,, i guess i just want to thank u !

thank you this message is really genuine and sweet <333 i re-used that joke from the gray dissertation lol

Tbh i was not happy with a lot of parts of this one. Sorry to rant about this appended to your ask specifically <3

mainly I think i shot myself in the foot with the way i structured the last one where i covered the moment panic got signed in excruciating detail and then rushed through 10-15 years really fast. at the time i did not think these were that serious or were going to reach as far as they ended up reaching and it was just like for my tumblr followers so i knew it was like a bad idea but i was just like "whatever!!!!"

anyway that made the beginning really rough because i didnt really have a set place to start. the first like 5 pages were also completely different too which didnt help

Also about 70% of the way through i realized it was really weird that i didnt give brendon any kind of dramatic introduction. I had so much fun writing the dramatic introductions they got a lot longer than when i outlined the essay which made that even more noticeable

But honestly, writing this and watching so many presplit panic interviews i actually started liking brendon a lot more and remembered why people used to love him and i knew whatever i wouldve said would have been things people didnt really want to read, so instead he just got his villain monologue at the end

It was also kind of weird that i didnt introduce spencer or jon at all but i figure anyone reading a 50 page essay about panic at the disco already knows who these people are anyway so i just had 2 move on

Also i was not very happy with the verlaine section, i felt like it was a lot of very dense information to synthesize and like also I didn't want to over explain it and be accused of being like a gay truther but like im sorry. its not even gay truthing its just gay by virtue of existing so i feel like i under explained it

Other parts too. However my research capabilities are absolutely unmatched and i do think im funny. im not sure if most other people think im funny but i sure think i am <3

[just-a-vastard]

my thoughts on tma entities: the web

spiders <3

oh I love spiders

however one of my greatest fears is losing control of myself in various forms

so uh yikes

at the same time there is something deeply freeing about not having to be in charge of yourself, just letting somebody/something else do everything while you just kinda. exist

I think I'd be a lot less scared of this entity if I were completely unaware of it, which actually is a very common theme in its victims

honestly sounds like dissociation and that doesn't scare me anymore because I'm very used to it

also I cannot stress enough how much I love spiders

I feel like web avatars are the definition of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

conclusion: 9/10, love spiders, dissociation can be terrifying, but also in a way very calming (that's like. the whole point of it being a survival instinct, isn't it?). I think I'd do an amazing job at manipulation if I tried. which I'm not proud of, but oh well

#tma #the magnus archives #tma the web #the web #tma entities

[katyspersonal]

I think your super-powered brain is awesome and would be your friend in real life 100%

I grew up around autistic people and never saw them any differently than other people, even when certain adults around me acted weird about them. Your unique wires give you strength in areas that other people aren’t familiar with. I think that’s why you’re so analytical, which is amazing! I’m sorry you’re struggling with these things though! Some people just don’t get it :(

But I hope you know that you are like the genius kid we see on the hero teams in movies that is always solving the brainy problems and explaining super complex concepts to their team-mates like it’s nothing. You’re the analyst <3

...

Thank you very much, really ./////. (I am using the blushy text emoji OFTEN today, huh?) It is just... strange.

I haven't been particularly focusing too much on how being autistic effects my life previously, but the more I learn about my (relatively) new diagnosis - the more things make sense... and also the more things don't make sense at all. I learn more about what things generally make people uncomfortable - but also more about how many things in the society are NOT fair in the slightest.

For example, just today I learned that 'You misunderstood me' and 'This is NOT what I said' could easily get the effect of gaslighting? Like holy shit? A thing that is NORMAL for me to say (as I am actually misunderstood often with my strange wording?) could make people doubt their perception? So apparently simply asking, 'Where did I say this?' or saying 'Sorry, my fault, let me explain myself clearer' are better alternatives.

And it is infinite amount of social things like this. Some big, some small.

But yes this is EXACTLY why I am so analytical. I really... don't get the comments such as, 'if you think so hard about it and post essays it means you have no life xD' when for me over-analysing thing is a natural state of existence, heheh; I know autism brings strengths in some aspects and I like them. I do love some weaknesses, even! Just... God, can I stop saying dumb things without even being AWARE they were dumb? Just please hahaha.

#ask replies #personal #thank you... #not gonna lie realising that if i was a cartoon character people woulda loved me a lot gets me through challenges of life. #like... yeah i am a trouble irl #but if on the screen people saw this.. overthinking impulsive quirky mess that says weird shit all the time? #they'd be mesmerised hahaha; #it is also how i often deal with people i struggle to get along with #i imagine them as fictional characters and suddenly... some endearing traits open up! wow!

[justlittledragonthings]

Trigger/content warnings for: abuse

Tarot Journal for June 16, 2023 The Star Tarot Card Spread: A Tarot Spread for Hope and Healing

1 - Wound: The Sun. "You might have just stumbled upon a big discovery or revelation that's astonishing, amazing and helps you see things in a new and beautiful way. This new perspective is the result of your hard inner and outer work, and now it's time for the reward."

I think I knew?? The word "abusive" came into my mind from time to time, but always accompanied by "you're overreacting" or "but it's not always like this" or "really it's not so bad" or "well I did fuck up so..." and gaslighting myself into forgetting. My therapist helped me name it a few weeks ago and it's become the bell I can't un-ring - now that I know the word is real and someone outside myself sees it. It gives structure to my thoughts around the future and past.

2 - Guidance: Four of Swords (inverted). "...you have forgotten to take care of yourself. You are worn out, so take a break. Relax, close your eyes, meditate. Take a nap. Do what you need to in order to recharge."

Yeah that's fair ... I think the challenge here is figuring out what's actually self-care and what's not truly serving me. Like - making sure I'm checking in on myself "okay am I playing the sims for several hours after work every night because it's fun or because I don't want to feel things?"

3 - Grounding: Death (inverted). "Death is the moment of letting go. Maybe there's a memory that haunts you, or a thing you desperately want to believe about yourself and will into existence."

So, I'm not really a journal person? I forget and only use it once, or I get bored, or it becomes a 'vent' journal and I'm so worried about it being found that I stop using it. That being said, I also have a tendency to gaslight myself and forget the bad shit (is it a coping mechanism or some fun ADHD short-term memory effects? who fucking knows 🙃?) and so I found some password-locked note apps and am throwing things in there as they come up. Even 2 weeks in, I'm finding that reading back some of these entries I've already forgotten the incident - I think that's really valuable and may help keep me focused on the reality of this situation, not the wishful thinking.

4 - Inspiration: Knight of Wands. "This Knight is all action and doesn't spare any time to stop and think. They pursue their goals singularly and recklessly; their unstoppable passion is inspiring but comes with risks."

Seems legit. I think taking action, taking baby steps is really empowering and creates momentum. But I also want to be careful and be patient and thoughtful while I process things, and make sure I'm comfortable with a decision before I make it.

5 - Blessing: Five of Cups. "It's okay to feel defeated and mourn. Sadness is part of the process."

Why this is a blessing: I'm okay with feeling uncomfortable things. That's w i l d. I'm (at least right now) taking things in, not just wash over me as "part of the scenery" or something. This isn't normal, this isn't okay, and I'm not okay with what's happening - recognizing that is HUGE for me.

6 - Wish: Ace of Cups (inverted). "...your cup is so full it spills out into a pool below. You'll feel yourself filled with radiant positivity, happiness and joy."

Spread: https://labyrinthos.co/blogs/learn-tarot-with-labyrinthos-academy/the-star-tarot-card-spread

Deck: Modern Witch by Lisa Sterle. Italicized quotes are from the accompanying book.

A note about inverted cards - I am for the most part using the upright interpretations as I build comfort and familiarity with reading tarot.

I am not looking for advice about abusive situations. I know my situation and the context surrounding it. This journal is focused on using the medium (pun not intended) of tarot to think through things for myself.

#tarot #tarotjournal #modernwitch #tw: abuse #tw: emotional abuse #Four of Swords #Death #Knight of Wands #Five of Cups #Ace of Cups #The Sun #labyrinthos #Star

[erigold13261]

Sam and Norma

[I am no longer taking character requests]

-Sam

First impression: Pretty sure I was just neutral to Sam at first and didn't really like them until much later.

Impression now: NOW though, he is basically my favorite character in the whole game (maybe Mirtala is up there too).

Favorite moment: What's NOT to be a fave. Literally all interactions with Sam are amazing. I would say either the kinda rare cutscene with the Coach in the fishtank, or the whole pancakes scene are my favorites. (But come on, the power of whale where Sam was wiggling his arms and did a :3 face was also amazing)

Idea for a story: I need to delve deeper into Sam's mistreatment of animals and how it most likely stems from her family and how they treated her. I kind of brushed it off because I saw Sam as a favorite, but it honestly is a problem and should be analyzed and could come up with a really good story.

Unpopular opinion: I don't know if this is unpopular, but Sam should be allowed to be super weird. I don't know how the fandom treats star overall, but I want more weird and out there Sam content! I have trouble thinking of my own stuff, so I can understand that, but damn it I want more weird Sam! :D

Favorite relationship: Sam and Dion are probably the only non-canon ship I actually like and want to participate in instead of just passively looking at art or headcanons about.

Favorite headcanon: Aromantic and uses all pronouns, including neo-pronouns. Literally anything works for star.

-Norma

First impression: Her gaslighting/customer service voice is so different from her regular voice and it through me for a loop. I was also annoyed with her for like the first half of the game.

Impression now: I love her a lot. She is really fun and honestly I see a lot of myself in her in how I hold the rules and safety to such a high priority and want to get good grades to impress people around me.

Favorite moment: Her and Augustus was such a funny interaction honestly.

Idea for a story: Mirtala befriended Norma. At first Norma is just being nice to not have a child potentially scream and cry, but then she sees Mirtala having the smallest bit of psychic energy and decides to try and teach her to use it, hoping if she can get this kid to become a psychic, she could get some kind of extra credit or something to help her. But then the two become actual friends and even though Mirtala can't use her psychic powers like at all, her and Norma stay good friends and help each other out a lot.

Unpopular opinion: People hate on her way too much. Like they make her out to be the absolute villain sometimes when she was just trying to help. Yeah, she was a bitch, but considering the whole situation and how Raz came to be at the headquarters and then all hell broke loose, I think she had a good reason to be suspicious and on guard all the time.

Favorite relationship: Her and Mirtala being friends! Please! Those two for some reason make me so happy! They can be so close like sisters but better in the sense they aren't forced to be around each other and instead actually like each other for who they are (something Norma really needs).

Favorite headcanon: AroAce lesbian :3

#psychonauts #eritalks #noart #asks

[dal22nd]

no rlly, to my twin? soulmate? enemy?

hi baby!!! did ya miss me!!!

yeah, look... i bet ur ass watched the video below first out of curiosity (or not?) but hey!!! i'll try keep it brief and short like a sbar for u, bbg...

i just thought i'd kinda crossover with a tumblr blog, yanno... since we don't rlly aff anymore and so all i could do is fucking make a tumblr blog abruptly to compensate for how stupid i was last year for fucking up ur birthday when U literally make it in time every SINGLE time??? bro... i... am still dwelling over that...

but...

happy 22nd birthday, dalena!!! <3333 ur finally old, like actually old??? and knowing u, i bet ur extremely excited for the new events and challenges to find u, like i bet ur ass is about to explode in excitement like yeah!!! come at me, 22!!! u piece of shit!!! i'm gonna be rich at the age of 22!!@@@@@@!! ok, but in all seriousness, we're spending ur second birthday together!!! <: i'm so glad we made it so far, but i'm also dumbfounded yet pleasantly surprised at how it's ONLY been two years??? it feels like more, but looking back at the memories we made makes it feels like it's too less??? if that makes sense??? replaying our old videos and reminiscing our old photos made me realise how much more i'd love to stick by u and do more dumb yet cute things together??? i want to explore parts of the world with u with laughs and giggles like we always do, and even go on dates with our future boyfies together one day... like there's just so much to accomplish and left to do with u, and i'm so honoured and happy to have somebody to do everything with!!! i think i'm incredibly lucky to just have u come across my mind immediately when i think of wanting to do things, because i know so many people who lack that particular person in their lives,,, sure, it can be their significant other or a member of their family but truly, i believe that a friendship like ours is quite rare and special?? if i could flex something of mine, u would literally be the first thing (yeah, thing) without a doubt,,, <3

i've always shielded myself from judgement by feigning nonchalance most times (as u would know.. or gaslight..) and never really disclosed details about myself or inner feelings to anyone out there, which includes my family, but towards u???? i feel exposed at times to the point it makes me trip over me and my own deep thoughts; but i've always concluded that it's never actually a bad feeling, it's more so a foreign feeling... i would've never chose to do this alone, but it's because u!!! are the person who drew me out to be more true about myself!!! u hold the capability of doing so because you've grown up that way, u observe carefully and ask what's right and know what's right---you're intelligent, u read people and ur confident about urself, hence why ur able to do such magical things---like sure, i don't hold any power to stamp and validate the fact that this is the exact reason why u are the definition of perfection, etcetera, but i strongly think that's the essence to why i'm unknowingly happy to open up towards u, and i'm sure it's not just me who feels this way anyway?? i exaggerate it all the time, but i'm never too fancy with words irl nor am i as expressive irl, i just fucking cry like a mf pussy and call it a day since i'm poor at mustering and conveying my thoughts as whole when i'm put into the situation... idk if anything i said makes sense, but whenever i'm facing an opportunity to be more truthful towards u, that's the first thing i always want to mention (man.. ur gonna see how many times i'm repeating this shit after seeing smth else later..)

also, not to mention, ur so god damn giving??? is that a fucking word??? generous??? yeah??? humble??? u never fail to amaze me when ur acting upon smth, ur always taking a step ahead of others and never doing anything that makes u look petty whatsoever?? u take initiative and demonstrate what a good deed is, and sometimes i can't help but to feel little when u live up to doing something so generous and nice,,, i think abt how i should repay u and also how i can thank u except ur always going ???wtf u gay ass cockroach??? but really, i never stopped thinking this ever since i met u cus like... who tf buys a total stranger (who could literally be a fucking murderer in disguise) a hoodie, two albums and food at first encounter??? like i tell u now, if i can tell my child about my most shocked moments in life, that'd have to be one... i know u always make urself up to be not the kindest person, but to me ur literally top notch when it comes to consideration and kindness---like how ur always taking a step forward to take care of me in all situations, giving me a listening ear at all times, making sure i'm always safe, accompanying me to places, driving me back home, agreeing to any idea i have and being happy for anything i achieve---you're a bundle of positive energy anyone would love, it's just that the only problem is that no one truly deserves you unless they're fucking godly or smth... (inner thought: am i god?) see.. like ur so fucking nice to the point i occasionally think,,, are we rlly that similar or is she just fucking matching up w me to make it look like we're similar cus she's just that fucking nice??? LIKE GAWD.... i mean... i hope it's not that...

ok, jfc, i feel like i'm actually going to babble all day long so i need to pack my shit up and realise this day isn't going on for the rest of the year... to sum everything up tho, i really really really appreciate you, dalena!!! like so much, and i cherish u a whole lot more than anyone---i can't imagine how boring life would be without u now, and ur literally my ride to die atp... i apologise in advance for thinking of u so highly cus now i feel like u might be like GAWD... there's a fucking parasite on me... how do i cut ties... but yeah, now i need to fucking find a man that's as compatible to me like u are which is gonna be a whole fucking challenge, huh :)))) </3 but REALLY REALLY, i'm not the ***best*** friend nor am i as considerate as u, but i hope i' haven't been too fucking dumb and immature i'm bearable to have around on days u feel like u just want a friend to hang with, hehe... T_T <333 i love love love u, ma angel...

from... ur dad (aru)

[letgolovemyself]

2022

Alright where does one begin? I really thought this was another great year, following 2021, and then September-December were an absolute shit show, of course being aligned with 555 which I saw from August till now. This year I feel like I spent more time alone than I have ever in my life. This is the first year of my life where I actually enjoyed the comfort of being by myself, looked forward to retreating to solitude, etc. This year was one of expectations versus reality: with people, myself, my job, my life, pretty much everything. At the beginning of this year I was pretty hopeful that I would meet the love of my life and finally get this happily ever after, which of course did not happen. IMO I “dated” 3 people this year: Mike, Adam, Pierce, Adam & Pierce at the same time LMAOOO jk you know that I was talking to at least 5 other people at the same time. I think the person I was most into was Adam, I was most heartbroken by Pierce. I also realized that I wasn’t actively dating until probably May/June of this year because I was in therapy, got diagnosed with BPD, I was changing jobs, finally got over Brendan and it took about 2 years. Which is honestly pretty impressive to me because I definitely thought it would take me probably the same amount of time that we dated. BUT WE MADE IT TO THE OTHER SIDE BITCH. I can listen to all the songs, go to raves, think about us without thinking that we should be together, I can look at photos and feel almost nothing - I am really 100% over it. 

I thought that 2020 was the hardest year of my life but bitch was I mother fucking wrong. I think 2022 was the hardest year of my life. I came face to face with Brendan and realized that he really isn’t shit and that he does this to every girl he encounters, which is so scary, but it helped me get over him and stop romanitcizing the abuse in my head. And yes, it was abuse (on both ends) because lying to someone, gaslighting them, just to string them along is abuse. Which is why when I apologized to him, he really stopped me mid sentence and told me not to apologize. I think he knows too that what he did was incredibly incredibly wrong and so fucked up. This was February when I also got into a bad accident, which likely is the reason my car ended up killing itself. The day after I saw Brendan is when this car accident happened as big old fuck you, realize your self worth, here is your punishment. But did I learn???? NOOOO hahahahah

I was absolutely miserable at CQA just being ignored, feeling like garbage with admin and my coworkers, being told that I called a child stupid... So I respected myself said fuck you to Glenn and I quit. I decided on a Thursday that I’m quitting, had my first round of interviews with Graham, second round on Sunday with Justin and in 3 days I was hired at Forte, and I didn’t return after spring break. This year I got a $7 thousand dollar raise. 

One highlight from this year was definitely moving to a job where I feel appreciated, seen, and valued. Forte is such an incredible school, the kids are great, staff is pretty good, and Justin trusts me to teach this curriculum, and said I have a talent for teaching reading and that it comes so naturally to me. 

When the school year ended, my summer plans were to go to Deadrocks and then come back and go to Spain, and I did all of that. Deadrocks was sooooo incredible, the most perfect experience I’ve ever had. I only knew Justin and Keyla, everyone else were strangers but they were the best group of strangers, we had such an amazing time. Refer to your notes app for more details bc I don’t want to get into all of it. I met Adam at Deadrocks, picked him up from the airport at like midnight, vibed the whole weekend, finished the weekend together at the airport. He is an absolute mindfuck of a person, but damn bitch if everything was perfect in the world, it would be him 100000%. I think we really get each other on a level that I can’t really explain, it’s just a feeling, it feels very much like I’m looking in a mirror sometimes. While at the same time I don’t quite feel I have to put on my best self in order to seem more appealing to him, which I do with literally every other guy. He feels like someone I’ve known for a long time, but I don’t know him that well at all. He feels like my favorite sweater. Which is type cute because I actually have his jacket right now. I wonder how different it is from his perspective because obviously I have a problem idealizing people as person with BPD. 

Spain was so amazing, I really can’t believe that I went to a whole different country by myself and spent basically the entire time alone. I was social and met some people around my age who were also traveling. I really shooted my shot a lot this year and it worked out every single time because men are bitches. While I was in Spain I was admitted to UAlbany to get my masters in literacy!! 

So in August I started grad school and my first full year at Forte, which was definitely the hardest thing I’ve done in my life. I worked my fucking ass off at my job, ran a club, built strong relationships with my students, helped them grow, and got a 4.0 GPA at the same time. 

Around the same time Mida and I stopped being friends, which I still don’t think I’ve processed because I’m unwilling to really think about how painful of an experience it is to kind of just continuously be dropped by people that switch up so fast, it is psychological torture when someone is your best friend and then the next day they say they don’t fuck with you anymore. The same thing happened with Justin, which was honestly for the best because I really wanted to end the friendship, but I didn’t want to lose the connection because I knew it would damage other relationships because he is literally a diagnosed narcissist, but ultimately he ended the friendship for doing the exact same thing he was doing, talking shit HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH. 

Anyways when I returned to Forte, I was seated next to Pierce and I was like alright this man is okay but he is definitely into me, so again I asked him if he could help me carry a TV, we started seeing each other in the beginning of September this lasted until Thanksgiving because I was so over begging this man for the bare minimum all the time, making all the plans. 

I just realized through this journaling that the men that broke my heart this year are both people that I actively pursued first meaning that I let my attraction/feelings be known. I’m not doing that anymore. I’m stepping out of my masculine energy and stepping into my feminine energy. 

Anyways I feel like this year I lost a few people that I was sure would be in my life for a long time, but I have realized I break my own heart so often because I invest in people so much more than they invest in me. I put so much more effort into my relationships than the other person does, so moving forward I will not be doing that. I’m giving everyone the same efforts they give me and only giving my energy to those that have shown me over time that they deserve it. I’ve been so extremely disappointed by people this year, and mostly I am disappointed in myself because I let so much slide, I gave people so many chances, and they showed me time after time exactly who they are, I knew in my gut they were not supposed to be in my life, but I made excuses for these people so many times just to keep them in my life. And I’m not doing that anymore. I think this is a normal part of getting older, you lose friends, etc. 

I’m only putting my time and efforts into the people that do the same for me.

I’m not forcing relationships anymore and I’m not begging anyone for anything ever again. I’m not looking for answers or reasons for why people have decided to leave my life or do the things that they’ve done. 

I’m being extremely exclusive and mindful of the people that I surround myself with because I’m over putting so much of myself into people just to end up by myself.

[theinvisibledoodlewizard]

Some folks aren't good at therapisting. It Difficult and not the kinda thing to be taken lightly. And it makes sense that if after 5 tries you start considering alternatives.

I can understand it’s a hard job…. But some of this really could be avoided

Thanks for the money! But uhm, you need to buy my book? Yes. My book. Mine. With my name. Yes. That one. I can’t do any therapy before you get that. I know you’re paying me crazy money for me to just do an hour long commercial for my book? But buy my book. :3 thank youuuuuu

I’m so sorry you had to go through that sweetie. Here lemme try to help. How does this work?- (I can’t say anything about this man other than, he’s the best one I’ve had. Me and him would get into almost challenges to see who knew more bout how brains work. ME AND A DOCTOR! It was so fun for both of us. But he got other opportunities so I was taken to the next one…. Hope he’s doing well tho <3)

Ok, so, what are you’re goals? (Reply) okok. Uhm. (Talk for a bit. Tell her my problems) stares like a fish out of water. (Asks for advice) UHHHHH What do you want to happen?? (Presses again cause that was not an answer) What are your goals?! 😅😅😅😅 (asks to switch) SURE WE CAN DO THAT OF COURSE YES (hurray I now feel like a freak. She made me feel absolutely amazing. Every problem got fish face. Then she was sooo excited to see me leave… am I that much of an issue doc?)

I had to see her every week. (No other had demanded that) but she gets the same amount done in a month regardless. Talks very slowly, and keeps going over things. Forgets what issues are, and makes up others. Try to be firm? “Now is learning time! Not talking time!” Slaps useless little bandages onto big gashes, thinking she’s fixed things forever, then gets offended you’re still upset. Talks to you like you’re 5. Airplane advice incident. XD

It runs very hot or cold (ok last one is lukewarm, cause she gaslights you into thinking you’re 5 and she has the knowledge of the universe). I can say I’ve had one good one. But all the others? How’d they get into this business…… that’s something I’ll be thinking about for a long time.

And yeah. Giving this one more shot. Then I’m washing my hands of the entire sha-bang. I obviously know my way through my head (hey I got into debates with all of them. Only the second therapist found it fun… or actually trusted me). It might sound sketchy? But I’m literally giving up on it all. Not trying another route. I’m done. I’ll do what I can for myself… that’ll be enough. If I end up in a loony bin? It’ll be good for content/j

But seriously… I’m too tired to keep trying things after this. I’m just gonna have to do this alone like I should’ve done if this doesn’t work. I know that sounds bad to everyone. And believe me! I’m not saying to it yourself. I’m just good in my own head…. *sigh* I know it sounds bad. I know people are gonna try to convince me otherwise. And go ahead btw, always up for debates. Heh. But I’m exhausted. And really sick of other people messing me up. Trust issues are there for a reason… and they’ve only been getting worse through this. I’ll back out before I get too bad…. Cross your fingers and hope this last one actually knows this garbage.

#asks #augh #bad stuff

[ohlexi92]

Calm.

That’s the word that comes to mind when I think of how you make me feel. Granted, every fiber in me is aching with a deep fiery love for you as well. But ultimately, calmness is what you bring to me.

Which is an incredible gift for an anxious mind.

For the first time in my life, I’m not on edge all the time. I’m not second guessing my worth, or hyper-focused on hidden lies, hiding myself, etc. I finally have security. I truly feel loved for who I am, completely. I actually feel like I’m enough. And it feels damn good. Especially when I never thought I deserved this. I just always figured I’d have to settle for whatever was close to “good enough.”

But in comes you, and the low standards I once had, you literally squashed them. You came in and set the bar higher than I ever could have imagined someone to… especially for me. You just take care of me fully. From my mind, to my heart, to my kids, to my daily caffeine intake… you amaze me.

And if I’m being completely honest, I’ve never felt a love that actually almost hurt. It hurts because it’s almost overwhelming. How could I possibly love someone just so much. My heart has grown so attached. It’s as if it recognizes it’s other half, and aches for its presence. And when you’re near, it brings it a sense of content calmness. It fully trusts you to always take care of it.

Aside from the calm though, you also bring me excitement! In the past, it’s always been me motivating and helping others and putting myself in the back burner. And although I could sit her and dwell on the regrets… I think everything came together how it should have. You motivate and give me a drive to push myself to be the best version of me I know I can be. You get me excited to reach new goals. And you support me every step of the way. Even when I feel like falling, or giving up, or have insecurities… you pick me right back up and remind me of my potential. You make me feel so excited about life and our future. With you by my side, I know I can achieve anything.

I know it seems like a sappy love letter to admit all these things, but I think when you’re truly just so in love with someone you have to tell them. Even if it’s constant. You have to remind me of all the amazing things they do. Why you fall in love more and more every day. Life is so short, and it’s also hard sometimes. I’d rather shout my love from the rooftops, than to ever let you not know or second guess yourself

You’ve changed my whole life. You took in 3 broken little humans, and showed us so much unconditional love… and now we’re creating a beautiful life, family, and future together. It takes a truly amazing man to do all that you have for us. I finally feel as if I can breathe.

There’s no more lies. No more deceit. No more gaslighting or narcissists. No more emotional abuse. No more neglect.

It’s just happy, peaceful, harmonic, bliss. It’s just love. It’s being truly, madly, deeply in love.

You make me feel the one thing in life, I’ve always craved but never could achieve on my own.

Calm.

[neowinestainedress]

hellooo, sorry for the late reply i was finishing my semester but now i’m finally free!!! also i wanted to ask if i can be 💌 anon? i think i will be a lot easier to identity myself that way

“but because she became a habit” omg this hurts way more 😭😭

“you got your revenge because you made me cry, I love you so much for all the kind words” omg nooo, don’t cry ;( or at least i hope they were happy tears<3 as i said you honestly deserve all the recognition in the world you’re such an amazing writer!!! I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE FOR PUTTING SO MUCH EFFORT DOING MY REQUEST I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE IT

“TELL ME YOU TOLD HIM TO FUCK OFF” haha i wish… if haechan was an asshole my ex was x19372938292 times WORSE and i was (kinda am) literally the DUMBEST person alive ever

“at first I thought it was too much but then I kept it like this because it made sense.” yes, it was PERFECT that way because it really showed how little he cared about her

“THE STORY OF US REFERENCE OMG YOUR BRAIN I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT BUT IT FITS SO MUCH!!!” WHEN I FIRST READ THAT PART I WAS LIKE WTF THAT’S LITERALLY THE STORY OF US but then, after i sent that message i was listening to better man and i couldn’t stop thinking about how much it fitted with her situation, especially when they didn’t talk for a week with the part that says “i hold onto this pride because these days it's all i have” but honestly the whole song fits so well with the story

“he was so detached from reality like it wasn't even gaslighting he just couldn't read the room” THE NEED TO PUNCH HIM IS BACK

“I felt something similar with a friendship, when you're the only one that tries to fix it and keep it together it breaks you. (Reminds me of Come in with the rain by Taylor)” DON’T EVEN TELL ME ABOUT IT… i lost my ex and my best friend at the same time so it was really difficult for me back then literally the worst year(s) of my life. NOT CIWTR IM CRYING SOBBING SCREAMING SHAKING UNCONTROLLABLY but it is true, and at the same time i feel that breath by little mix also fits a lot with losing someone super close to you :(

“Lmao I really painted him as an asshole now I wonder if I want too far. But yeah he truly is Mr perfectly fine i hate him” nono it was perfect that way and my toxic side is hoping he can redeem himself just like joe did so they can end up together</3

“I wanted to highlight how she never reacted all those years and always forgave him and that was what always let him get away with anything because that is the thing that always surprises 'abuser' every time, it's when the other fights back and they realize they can't trick them anymore” well you did an amazing job because your point came across very clearly, abuser sucks i really want to punch them all

“I made you wait two months so I thought you were going to kill me if it was also disappointing” oh nooo, i could never be mad, even if you had made me wait a year and only write 100 words i would still be very happy with your work cause it’s the fact that you actually took the time to do something i basically told you to do when you could have simply said no. so really thank you thank you thank you, i’m glad i made you happy i hope it was just as much as you made me!!! and as i said before, all your writing is amazing so don’t feel insecure about it i could read your works all day and wouldn’t get bored<3

“I'm sorry for making you cry so much but I'm also glad it helped you somehow. You are NEVER the one to blame when someone cheats on you or hurts you in a way, always remember that.” don’t be sorry it was totally worth it!! thank you, your words means a lot

“Oh my the original request was soo good you could've asked me anyway and I would've tried doing that but you know... maybe I could still do it. Like instead of writing happier next I can write 'enough for you' still from her pov and it can be centered on her healing/moving on process. '1 step forward, 3 steps back' could be like a spin-off/prequel maybe it could even be fluffier and go back in the line of their relationship. and then happier as the ending from Haechan pov.” OMG YOU ARE AN ANGEL BUT YES YES YES I WOULD LOVE IT BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN AND WANT OFC IM SO HAPPYYYY 😭😭😭😭😭

“I want him to suffer for all the pain he put her through but I don't know... we'll see when I'll write it (and what I'll write)” YES!! i want them to end up together but i want him to suffer first and realize how much he really fucked up, i also would love to see him suffer in the way that idk maybe she really got over him so he has to make her fall in love again? idk i’ll honestly settle for ANYTHING

i must admit that even after 3 days i’m still thinking 24/7 about traitor it really was THAT good it lives rent free in my head and i’ve already read it at least 5 times (if i remember correctly).

i’m so annoying i keep writing long messages but i just really want you to know how much i loved it and how happy i am for everything you’ve done<3

hi! no worries, i reply late most of the time too. i hope your semester went well! and yes you can be anon 💌

i only cried happy tears, you made me so happy there was no way i could be sad

your ex was worst than haechan??? RUN PLEASE IM BEGGING. and also losing your best friend too... I hope you're doing better now♡ and yes breathe fits so much, some people leaving really make it feel like you can't keep going on anymore, it sucks.

oh nooo, i could never be mad, even if you had made me wait a year and only write 100 words i would still be very happy with your work cause it’s the fact that you actually took the time to do something i basically told you to do when you could have simply said no. so really thank you thank you thank you, i’m glad i made you happy i hope it was just as much as you made me!!! and as i said before, all your writing is amazing so don’t feel insecure about it i could read your works all day and wouldn’t get bored<3 gonna print this and stick it everywhere I LOVE YOU

OMG YOU ARE AN ANGEL BUT YES YES YES I WOULD LOVE IT BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN AND WANT OFC IM SO HAPPYYYY 😭😭😭😭😭 No you are a genius because the idea is so good so I'll try to write it (hoping this time it will take a little bit less than traitor)

maybe she really got over him so he has to make her fall in love again? NO BUT THIS IS SO GREAT SO WE KINDA GET BOTH??? And he has to work to get back to her asfjkls

i must admit that even after 3 days i’m still thinking 24/7 about traitor it really was THAT good it lives rent free in my head and i’ve already read it at least 5 times (if i remember correctly) (in this is me trying tone) i just wanted you to know that this is me crying

stop it you're not annoying at all you can write as much as you want ♡

#anon answered #💌

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale's Top 10: Least Favorite ML Episodes

Now I have done this list a few times and While Strike back isnt out yet. And if it turns out it is not that great I will be sure to adjust the list.

Rules:

1. This is an OPINION LIST. This is not definitive fact. If people like or love the episodes I list. That is fine. This is my personal opinion on them.

2. If you find things that you disagree with, feel free to comment on why you think an episode is better or worse with reasons.

3. Or if you dont have anything constructive or questions. Then you are free to ignore this list entirely.

But for now lets get started

10. Stormy Weather 2.0

If only the episode wasnt a clipshow.

It wasnt as awful on rewatch as I remember but it was really lazy. I would have loved more insight into Aurore and considering how amazing her first episode was... It feels more insulting.

Now clip shows dont have to be awful if done right (LOK season 4 is a prime example) But it is something that can be tedious.

Now to say this didnt give us anything of note would be inaccurate... but it really didnt give us much.

9. Ephemeral

Now this one I know is gonna have people scratching their heads.

This episode has a LOT of problems.

Now I wont take away from it.

If the episode was just the bits after the reveal up to Adrien talking on the phone with marinette.

I would have this episode on the top 10 not on the bottom 10.

But the thing is... its not that. Its a conclave of patched together scenes and awful moments on the front and back that clearly only exist for shock value with no real payoff.

Now if at the end someone did know what actually happened and had their perception changed because of the near end of the world...

Then maybe I wouldnt have such problems with it. (I would at least have it out of the top 10 worst)

But this episode has so many plot holes and animation errors that the ending seems more of a result of the episode being unable to contain its plot rather than Sass traveling back in time.

The more I talk about it the more negatives I want to say.

I mean we could discuss the almost Gaslighting of Chat noir.

The sudden escalation of a wish basically being a universal reboot.

Luka being someone that could have prevented this whole mess in the first place

And the hype that was given to the episode only for... THIS to be the end result.

A nothing burger that TRIES to be Chat blanc

8. Captain Hardrock

Full disclosure, This episode originally made me quit the fandom in the early days.

At the time Riposte and Captain Hardrock introduced the love rivals. And I HATED both of them.

But funny enough, Luka's intro isnt what made me quit. It was the fight with Captain Hardrock herself. They made a fight with a PIRATE BORING!

And at that point I thought to myself. The Love Square is falling to cliches and the fights are not even fun. I was done.

But I came back later

Now having re-watched the episodes. Riposte was actually a really good episode. It introduced Kagami and had Adrien's interest in Kagami occur in a more natural way than I remember. Do I find it was a bit rushed? Yes. especially when it came to Frozer. But in the episode itself it was more than acceptable and in character to how Adrien develops feelings.

Captain Hardrock on the other hand had Marinette 'Crushing' right from the start. The problem I have with it is that its completely antithetical to how Marinette develops feelings for people (which we got to see with Adrien (original and Oblivio), Chat noir AND Chat Walker). If the episode pumped the breaks for a second and had Marinette get that first blush at the end it would have been fine as it would have lined up more with her character. But what do we get? The moment after Marinette's intro to Luka, everyone from Tikki to Luka's own mom saying she is in love with him and she just accepts it like its dead equal to her crush on Adrien? That didnt even happen with Adrien with Kagami in Riposte. So lets cut the bulls*** on that.

I will say that this episode is a big outlier and Marinette and Luka's dynamic is handled much better in later episodes.

7. Feast

Everything wrong can be summed up with one sentence.

"An Order of Magical monks refused to use the miraculous and got wiped out by a four foot eyeless blue dog."

Fu acted irrationally, the reason for Fu's mistake is REALLY dumb

And While I hate Su Han more than Fu, I think Furious Fu is a better episode and it is the result of this.

Now Adrien and Marinette were fine in the episode.

But this whole premise is just so dumb.

So with this, i hate it more as a concept than an episode

6. Sole Crusher

Zoe doesnt need to exist.

The episode is basically Thomas cramming down our throats that Zoe is gonna replace Chloé and that we are idiots for thinking Chloé could ever be a hero. You could argue Queen Banana is worse but I honestly feel that this episode does more to really push it in your face. Plus Queen banana is such a s*** post that I cant help but laugh.

Now this isnt a critique of Zoe as a character... just her as a concept.

This episode is just so manipulative in trying to get sympathy for Zoe and have her speedrun the development so that she can get the Bee next episode.

Also while hilarious for me as it was for Chloé to basically become a mustache twirling villain that basically says she is a villain. Its really dumb

5. Chameleon

Speaking of dumb.

This episode has been analyzed to death so I will keep it brief.

Dumbing down Everyone else does not make the villain/Lila seem smart.

If the episode showed Lila being actually clever, it would make more sense. But no, everyone just believes Lila's crap.

The only two people that dont are Adrien and Marinette.

I think the episode is over hated, but it is also a REALLY dumb episode and establishes a trend whenever Lila is involved. EVERYONE GETS STUPIDER.

4.Frozer

The everyone is kind of an asshole episode.

Ive talked about this episode to DEATH.

Aside from Luka, no one in this episode comes out looking good.

The akuma is okay just not very memorable.

The ice costumes are cool.

Really this is one of those that the FANDOM really just makes even thinking about this episode seem like a task. The salters are just awful. Same with Chameleon. But this one is also just not even a fun watch.

3. Animaestro

Thomas Astruc is a whinny bitch for 22 minutes and it shows.

A call out critics episode that misses the mark so much it ended up missing and shooting him in the foot.

Marinette is out of character, and basically everyone is a mouth piece for him.

It should have been called puppeteer because it felt like their mouths were moving for his benefit and nothing else.

2. Miracle Queen

The last half of the episode ruins everything.

The memory wipe Deus Ex Machina was BS

Marinette being Blamed is BS

The ending with Fu basically telling Marinette the equivalent of.

"Life sucks deal with it"

Honestly if Truth wasnt as good as it was, I might have considered leaving the show for good.

I have talked about this in length and I am not gonna do it again.

1. Reflekdoll

I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate this episode.

It is by far my least favorite episode.

It changed the ladynoir dynamic.

It ruined one of my favorite tropes

It ended in one of the dumbest ways possible

And EVERY CHARACTER in it for more than one minute was a f***ing idiot.

It had no reason to exist. It felt like reading a salt fic. It basically made everything that sucks about sentimonsters more clear, and it just really does make people seem either like an a**hole or an idiot.

#ml fandom salt #my least favorite episodes #gale's top 10 #ml writer salt

[ameliasbitvh]

ahhhh! thank you all soso much for the 300 followers! i just hit 200 last week?! how are there 300 of you? i honestly don’t know, but i started this account as a place to just read smut and then i decided to post on here. the reason why my first post was angst was because i was being a slut for angst to feel something in those few moments- okay i’ll stop myself right there. for this milestone i’m going to do mutual appreciation for the moots i’ve interacted with the most so far! (if we’re moots and u wanna interact pls do, i’m not scary!)

okayy first up,

@underappreciated-spoon-321

i love you so much bby, i could not believe it when you followed me. i was legit crying happy tears and i specifically remember you followed me after i posted “needy” random lol.

your writing is immaculate, absolutely lovely. ur smut *chefs kisses* i love that you put up with my shit photos that i send you and that you actually ask for more- but it baffled me when you first interacted with me, this was my reaction

*deep breath* “omfg! (ur username) just interacted with me, wtf do i do?!” also ur nick name reminds me of belly from dear, draco.

i’m not writing a lot, bc for your sleepover i wrote you a damn paragraph 😭 but i love u sm belly!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

@dracoskinks

ARI! i love talking to you, bc i can talk about anything and when i say anything i mean anything. like kinks, porn, random draco scenarios, etc… you are one of the funniest people i have seen on this app.

ur blunt and funny at the same time, it just makes it more fun to talk to you. ur smut is soso good, bc i don’t find a lot of smut with a dom!reader and sub!draco.

i remember you followed me, so out of curiosity i checked out your blog and saw your piss kink fic and that did it for me. after that i followed you back and we became moots ajnwja. when ur first account got terminated you scared me so fucking much, because i thought you were going to leave tumblr forever. don’t. ever. play. like. that. again. i’m glad we became moots bc i fucking love you <3

@opalsheart

I LOVE YOU SM! i think u were the first moot that i interacted with in direct messages, bc you had tea to spill, and ever since than we’ve been #4lifers. you send me edits and hate on t*m felton with me on instagram. you were the first mutual to know what i looked like lmaoo. u r an absolute goddess, bestie, like what- i know that you can pull anyone you want, so stop playing when you talk about someone.

even though we have a fucking 12 hour time difference, we still find time to talk to each other. it is so fun talking with you and the fact that when we talk it’s night for one of us. you let me send that stupid tik tok of ed sheeran and t*m felton to you and it probably haunts your dreams now ajnwajsj-

i appreciate that you study ur MF ass off for your exams, bc i could never. and you even send me those cute memes when i wake up- also we better be watching those true crime documentaries, bc i’m still waiting. idc if we have a time difference :) anyways ILY SM ELLIE !! <3

@laceycallisto

okay- where do i even get started with this. we first interacted when i reblogged that draco fan fic and we reblogged talking about how desperate we were trying to find that iconic fic. and i forgot that the creator could see all the reblogging we were doing- you texted me directly about adding my name into your tags, which obviously i agreed to. then we just started talking about random shit like how we were superior because we were june geminis. or how we talked about being in love with remus lupin.

i have vivid flash backs of how your remus fic hurt me. i cried my false lashes off proof reading janajaj- bestie- you’ve seen me cry ajnwja- your writing is ethereal, i don’t know how you can see that? your so nice too, like girly u gave me ur netflix within like a day of knowing each other 💀 we watched bridgerton in two mother fucking sittings. we ate that bridgerton hoe up!

all ur input on the scenes were so funny like the “with child” and “dicking” comments 😭 i love how it’s so easy to talk to you about everything, like how dumb i am- even talking about the privilege of being poc and not burning in the sun. bruh u even let me tag u in dumb tik tok videos, like what?! and i think your the only mutual i have that’s in the same time zone as me… also we better binge the next season. but ily sm, ur like my older sister, even if u say ur life is shitty 😭 <3

@dracomalfoys-wh0re

honestly, kacia. i owe a lot to you for my account being “found” or whatever, bc you reblogged a fic of mine, i’m pretty sure it was “common room” and that’s when i started getting notes and followers najajwjwj- you might not know that but i do 💀 i will forever remember that.

you literally were one of the first accounts ever- to follow me. and i won’t lie, i went crazy when u followed me because i love your fics so much! you are so funny and blunt too i swear 😭

and can we talk about your tom riddle fic? like?!the fact that you really showed tom’s true personality and character. every world had me enthralled further into the fic, the way you wrote him is exactly how i think tom riddle would act towards his s/o. his toxicity and gaslighting is too accurate.

moving on from the discussion of your fic, which is amazing, ily sm babe!!

@yoooespinosa

we’ve interacted a few times and when u texted me directly saying that you thought i was sweet, i literally went, “omg- people think i’m sweet” in a good way, not bad jkwajjw- can i just get started on your writing, because oh. my. fucking. god. it is the most captivating and heart breaking thing i’ve ever seen- the emotions that you put into every word completes the entire fic. every angst piece that you have written, made me cry or made something inside me just twist with sadness. it is truly lovely and magnificent.

how do ur fics not get thousands of notes? because everyone should see what you write, it’s unfair that others haven’t seen your fics. when u explained your dream to me, i swear you practically wrote a whole fic 😭

i remember u said that you wanted to do a face reveal, but we’re scared. bestie what are you scared of? you look like an ANGEL!! and if anyone were to disagree, they are obviously blind. but ily bestie <3

@o-rion-sta-r

BESTIE BAE ORION i love you so much!interacting with you is honestly so fun. and i remember like literally yesterday we were trying to figure out ari’s time zone and we were freaking out. you, ari, and me all have a fucking time difference 😭 it sucks so much!

at least every day you ask me how my days been and i think that’s so sweet, because before i got on tumblr people didn’t ask that question. i appreciate that you ask me that and just random questions in general, because i love interacting with you so much. and you should start writing bby! i will reblog anything you write, also ily sm <3

@ilygw

we don’t talk a lot, but you seem like a fun person! i love seeing all the edits you post on here, bc honestly i need more ferret boy content. i know there is a lot, but i feel like i’ve seen all of them. until i see you posting a new edit and i’m like, “okay… i guess i haven’t seen every draco edit” but that’s all i have lol, ly!!

@arcaneslut

to be honest, you seemed so intimidating to me. i know you said you’re not, but to me you seemed really scary even though i knew you weren’t 😭 i just interacted with you recently and you are so sweet i swear! i love all ur fics, especially “and then i felt nothing” because when i read this fic you better believe i was crying so hard- to the point where i couldn’t breath- everything was written so beautifully, i couldn’t believe it.

i love how one thing we share in common is losing our phones 💀 but i just wanted to say thank you for explaining the whole sleepover and celebration things to me! even tho we just started interacting i already love u!!

moots bc i’m in love with all of them: @just-a-smol-spoon @dreamy-clousds @dracoskinks @unedibledaisyduck @thatsassyhufflepuff @a-aexotic @l0vely-lupin @gothboutique @wolfstar4lifee @littlemissnoname13 @deatthfairy @arcaneslut @ladyvesuvia @laceycallisto @dracossweetprincess @the-lonely-poet-loves-to-weep @realityblocked @harmqnia @yoooespinosa @opalsheart @lilscloud @cupids-crystals @mellifluousart @lunas-kisses @malfoysmainb @klauscarolove @crystxlss @beforeoursunsets @marrymetheonott @queeriacs @electriclocean @dlmmdl @o-rion-sta-r @sfdlm @ilygw @desiredmalfoy @underappreciated-spoon-321 @draco-and-tom @hellounicorn @mugglesthesedays @dracomalfoys-wh0re

if i didn’t tag u it’s bc i can’t tag more than 50 blogs :(

#eve’s 300 moot appreciation