The Fellowship as Things my Family Does
Warnings: none? Lemme know if there are any
A/N: uh yeah... 😂
Gets called ‘Mom’ when real mom isn’t home. So exasperated that he starts threatening to sell them back to the black market
Drives the riding lawnmower while drinking a beer and head banging to music
Screams as he aggressively cleans the toilet before using it- once ran out of baby wipes so used Lysol Wipes on his ass
(Walking around the house) “Guys don’t look at me, I’m naked- I TOLD YOU NOT TO LOOK”
Takes a shot of blackberry brandy to get rid of the nasty, sick taste in his mouth, forgets he took cold/flu medicine 30 minutes prior and gets drunk
Sam (real mom)
Stares into space contemplating his life existence as every one argues around him
Sends photos of ugly creatures with the caption “this is you”
Refuses to do any favors for the others unless they give payment (payment is fist bumps)
“Please- please stop making me cookies. My bathroom cannot handle the consequences no more”
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Gandalf: That's it! You're all grounded. Kili, no Tauriel for you. Fili, no knives for you. Bilbo, no books.
Gandalf: And... *looks at Thorin*
Gandalf: Oh my god, is there anything you love?
Gandalf: No vengeance for you.
Thorin: I was gonna say 'I'll get you for this' but I guess that's off the table.
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