⤑ 9 months to fall in love 17.
It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.
Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.
Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…
pairing; kim seokjin x f reader
au/genre; unplanned pregnancy, strangers to lovers, slow burn, romance (dare I say romcom in places), smut, angst, (melo)drama, dual pov
words; 6,695
warnings/includes (!) mentions of homophobia, a father-daughter heart to heart, another heart to heart with Seokjin, therapy mentions, season two’s HEA
⟶ ao3 link
*inspired by the manhwa ‘Positively Yours.’
↪︎ series index
SEASON TWO
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“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”
Seokjin startled, so stuck inside his own head he’d forgotten where he was, who he was sat by.
Hoseok widened his eyes, head tilted slightly as he waited for a response. “You’ve had that seat in a death grip ever since you sat down. I know you’re not afraid of flying, so what’s up?”
Seokjin turned, looking out the window, letting the shape of the clouds distract him. “I might have acquired a phobia since the last time,” he muttered.
Hoseok sighed, long and hard. “I know you didn’t want to go, I didn’t either. Leaving Kang sucks, but it’s only for a few days.”
“That’s not what this is about. I mean, it is, but it’s also more than that.” Seokjin let out a sigh of his own. “I met ____’s family yesterday.”
“Finally,” Hoseok laughed, then noticed the solemn look on Seokjin’s face. “Oh. So it didn’t go well?”
That was putting it lightly. It couldn’t have gone worse if he’d tried. Well, that wasn’t so true, but it still didn’t make things any better. “Her stepmom was great, really excited for the baby. Her brother and sister too…”
“Dad?” Hoseok deduced, wincing.
“He called me pompous,” Seokjin admitted after a beat of silence, face hot.
“He seems a great judge of character,” Hoseok snorted, then covered it up with a cough when Seokjin shot him a look. “Sorry.” He flattened his mouth. “What happened?”
“He thinks I’m going to end up leaving once Glob is born.” Just saying that aloud made Seokjin’s stomach roll.
“Can he see into the future, or?”
“Hoseok, let’s be serious,” Seokjin asked, getting frustrated. “It was terrible. He fucking hates me.” Seokjin said that last part as quietly as he could, aware they were flying business class. The last thing he wanted was to offend or disturb anyone, but thankfully most people had earphones in. “He was shouting, he would hardly listen to me. It was…bad.” Hoseok seemed a little stunned, so Seokjin carried on, feeling mildly relieved to get this all off his chest. “I understand his concerns, but he took a dislike to me as soon as I walked through the door. I didn’t stand a chance.”
“How did ____ take it?”
Seokjin rubbed a hand over his face, his chest tightening. “She was crying. This whole time she’s had it in her head he wouldn’t mind, she wasn’t expecting him to be so upset.”
“You mean angry,” Hoseok corrected. “Angry because he’s a psychic and knows that you’re going to leave her once the baby is born…?”
“Hoseok, please.” Now wasn’t the time for joking around. “There’s more to it. I can’t really go into it because…well…” It wasn’t his business to tell. Your father was worried that history would repeat itself, and it was pretty near impossible to make him believe otherwise.
“I understand,” Hoseok nodded, then carefully: “So, you didn’t want to leave her today because she was so upset?”
Seokjin’s stomach dropped. “I didn’t—we didn’t spend the night together,” he admitted disjointedly. “I went home. I needed—I just needed to be alone.”
“Wait, what?” Hoseok sounded in disbelief. “Her dad blows up, makes her cry and then you just drop her off at home. ‘Oh, by the way, I’m going to Japan for a week.’”
Seokjin’s face prickled with heat, Hoseok’s tone bringing instant shame. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Sounds exactly like that.” Hoseok could see through bullshit expertly.
“I was upset too.” Embarrassed. “Everything has been going so well…” Just like that, Seokjin thought back to last weekend, how happy you’d both been letting everyone know you were going to have a daughter.
“Christ. So you really just left like that?”
“Save it,” Seokjin groaned, he already felt so bad about it. He’d hardly gotten any sleep last night, itching to call you and apologise, but in the end he’d thought better of it, not wanting to make things worse. “We didn’t argue,” he tried to justify, but he knew deep down he was just trying to make himself feel better. “We’re talking, it’s just…”
“Your ego took a bashing and you needed to hide away.”
Hoseok wasn’t entirely wrong, at the crux of things that’s essentially what it was. No matter how much something like that affected him, he needed to work past it. Getting his feelings hurt by your dad was nowhere near how hurt you’d been by the events of yesterday.
Seeing something in Seokjin’s face maybe, Hoseok clapped his back supportively. “Look, I get it. You don’t like it when people dislike you, that’s totally valid, but it’s only her dad. You don’t have to see the guy all the time.” When Seokjin stayed silent, Hoseok added, “Hey, Kang’s father hates me.”
“Kang’s father is homophobic.”
He was an irredeemable piece of shit, while Minsoo was just worried about his daughter’s wellbeing.
Hoseok shrugged. “That’s true, no one cares what he thinks. Bad example.”
A small laugh puffed from Seokjin’s mouth, the first in over twenty-four hours. Hoseok grinned. “You’ll win him over. It’ll just take some time. He’ll see you’re not going anywhere.” Seokjin nodded, feeling hopeful. “Who’s more important, your pregnant girlfriend’s dad? Or your pregnant girlfriend?”
“Thank you, Hobi,” he whispered gratefully.
“No problem, but do yourself a favour and call ____ when we land, because I’m not dealing with this” – Hoseok gestured towards him, waving his hand in a complete circle – “for an entire week.”
At that, he kicked back, conversation over, obviously planning to relax as much as possible before they landed. Seokjin tried to do the same, but his thoughts were too preoccupied with you. He’d messaged you just before take-off, but he hadn’t had time to see if you’d responded. He was going to take Hoseok’s advice and call you as soon as he got to the hotel. If he didn’t get his act together soon, it wasn’t going to be your father who ruined everything, it would be him.
On Sunday you’d been surprised when Seokjin had called you from his hotel. There had been quite a few awkward silences, a lot of sorrys from him, and you could hear how remorseful he felt for leaving things like he had yesterday. You could also sense how he was still obviously hurt from the confrontation with your father. You wanted to ask again, what they had spoken about, but held back. You didn’t want to press him, and besides, you couldn’t do a lot of talking when he was on the phone in a completely different country. Just hearing his voice was enough, and you told him you’d talk when he got back, and that you were sorry too, even though he insisted once again that you had nothing to feel sorry for. He said goodbye with a promise to contact you as much as possible and told you he’d email the convention schedule over so you could keep up to date with him.
That small gesture, plus the phone call as a whole, had made you feel loads better, and his daily morning and evening texts helped even more. It made you feel nostalgic in a way, recalling these past few months. It also made you realise how much you’d gotten used to Seokjin being in your life. How much of a constant he’d become in such a short amount of time. Not seeing him every day was horrible. You missed him a lot, and it made you wonder how you’d spent your days before him. You couldn’t imagine not having a person to share things with now. Not having him.
Still, life went on. You distracted yourself with work, and you had Glob to keep you company in the night. Although she was probably sick of hearing your voice by now, and your belly massages weren’t as good as daddy’s.
You had your bestie too, of course. On Sunday night she’d come over with ‘supplies’ which consisted of way too much chocolate and a chunky loaf of bread, making a beeline for your toaster.
“Seokjin seems like the kind of guy who needs everyone to like him,” she’d said through a mouthful of buttery toast, crumbs falling onto your table because she didn’t know how to use a plate properly. “This probably just hit him where it hurts.”
You’d levelled a look at her, not in the mood for her insight. She’d taken one semester of psychology in university nearly ten years ago and still thought she was an expert. “I should think it hurt, my dad was so rude to him.”
But maybe she did have a point… Your father taking an instant dislike to Seokjin seemed to have affected him deeply. The brief thought made your heart hurt.
“It sounds so messy.”
“Thanks,” you’d deadpanned. “But really, Seokjin’s usually the one who wants to talk about stuff. In the car he basically just closed off. He hardly said anything.”
“Well, he was probably in shock. Wouldn’t you be? If his mom had acted like that?”
“Yeah,” you’d admitted. You didn’t know how you would have reacted, but it probably would have been something similar – or worse. “I just…argh, I don’t—I didn’t think he would blow up like that.”
“Your dad? I mean, you did rock up to his house 5 months pregnant with a man he’s never met.”
You hated it when she spoke sense. “I know that was a mistake on my part, but Yeonja was happy,” you’d tried to justify.
“That’s because she’s been waiting for this day for years.”
You’d picked at the crusts on your plate. “Dad just lets me get on with it, I thought this would be the same.”
“This isn’t just average life though,” Yuna’d reasoned carefully. “You’re not just going to work, hanging out with friends, dating. You’re having a baby. It doesn’t get much more serious than that. Your happiness is on the line, your security. I can see why he’s so cynical, Seokjin is a complete stranger. Not that I’m justifying his behaviour at all.”
“I know,” you’d sighed.
“He doesn’t know Seokjin, didn’t get the chance to know him, he’s just making his own conclusions because that’s all he can do. Even if they are outrageous. Come on, Seokjin pompous? Please.” Then, softly: “You should talk to him.”
You’d shaken your head. “I can’t right now. I’m still so mad at him. Yeonja keeps messaging me telling me he feels really bad about what happened, but I can’t face it right now. I need to talk things through with Seokjin first.” Then you’d noticed Yuna’s smile. “…What?”
“I’m just so proud of you. Not running away from your problems or burying your head in the sand. My bestie is so grown up now.” Squealing, she’d gotten up to round the table and hug you.
“Did you just miss the part where I said I couldn’t face talking to my father right now?”
“He acted like an ass, so let him sweat a little. You’ve still…”
“Grown up?” you’d finished for her, snorting. “It’s called impending motherhood.”
It wasn’t just Yeonja who had messaged you. You and Jeuen had been texting back and forth all week, not about your father or what had happened on the weekend, but just…normal stuff. Glob mostly, but also TV shows and your shared attraction to Ian Somerhalder. (Yes, by TV shows you meant The Vampire Diaries.) Even though you and Joo were thirteen years apart, you both had top tier taste in men…and semi-questionable taste in teen dramas… Even Jihoon had messaged you. Simple and to the point: Dad is an asshole. It had made you laugh, the first proper laugh you’d had in days.
On Wednesday you had lunch with Yeeun, Tara and Mari. It was nice to socialise outside of your close-knit circle, even if Mari wanted to spend most of the time talking about Seokjin. She was curious to know when you’d taken the step from ‘friends to lovers.’ Semi-mortified, you’d briefly explained how you’d just grown closer during the pregnancy.
“With a face like his, no wonder,” she’d all but cackled. “The pregnancy makes complete sense.”
Yeeun and Tara had almost spat out their drinks, while you’d been absolutely speechless. Despite spending the hour squirming and hot in the face, you’d gone back to the office feeling more positive than you had all week. You had so many people who supported you, your relationship with Seokjin, and your pregnancy. Your father’s (wrong) opinion didn’t matter, and you couldn’t wait to prove him wrong.
The next day, Seokjin was due to speak at the gaming convention, according to the schedule he’d emailed over. So after work, you rushed home and got changed into your comfiest (note: stretchiest) clothes you owned and ordered some Thai food, ready for 7pm. It was getting livestreamed on Twitter, so you pulled out your MacBook, needing a bigger screen so you could see him better. Sitting crossed legged, you waited eagerly. When he finally appeared, you got so excited it felt as though you were watching your favourite celebrity on stage. You clapped your hands along with the audience, pointlessly telling Glob ‘Look, her dad was on the screen!’
He'd had his hair cut, you noticed straight away. Not as short as he’d had it a few months ago, but it was no longer in his eyes. Dressed in a simple white button down – sleeves rolled up to mid forearms – and black pants, he looked great. You didn’t really understand what he was talking about, but it didn’t matter, he was amazing. He had you mesmerised by his stage presence and professionalism. He was made for this, talking in front of audiences and making them laugh. He was nervous, you could tell, but it didn’t stop him. It never did. You felt so proud of him, and it made you feel oddly emotional. It definitely made you miss him more.
After he was finished, you immediately texted him a picture you’d taken of the screen, wanting to praise him.
You are so professional!!
Around twenty minutes later he replied.
Seokjin 8:20pm
You watched it? I’m so embarrassed
Did you notice how much I was sweating?
Shhhh. You did amazing. You’re amazing!
Seokjin 8:22pm
Thank you. That means a lot
Seokjin 8:25pm
I miss you and Glob
We miss you too…
The thought suddenly made you feel very, very lonely. And angry. At your father. All over again. If he hadn’t caused such a scene on Saturday, Seokjin would have left for Japan differently. Everything had been perfect, and your father had ruined it. All because he couldn’t be happy for you.
You were ready to call him. No, you needed to call him right now and tell him how wrong he was. To tell him that he knew nothing about Seokjin or your relationship and had judged him so completely wrong it was ridiculous. That he had been so unbelievably rude that he should be ashamed of himself. That he had no right to meddle in your life.
You still had your phone in your hand, and acting quickly, while you still felt impelled, you opened your phonebook and scrolled to your dad’s name, hitting it aggressively. He answered on the second ring, sounding mildly relieved as he said your name. He took advantage of your momentary speechlessness. “Listen, I—”
“I want to speak first,” you spoke over him, finding your voice. “I just have some things I want to make clear.”
There was a pause and you heard him swallow. “Sure. Go ahead.”
You took a breath, deeper than you intended, and louder. “I’m still mad at you, dad.” You hated the way your voice shook. It was due to anger, but you still felt it as a weakness. “I can’t believe you acted the way you did. The way you just judged Seokjin without knowing anything about him, it was uncalled for.”
The words spilled from your mouth and to be quite honest, you weren’t too sure you were making sense, but as soon as you were done, you felt yourself physically deflate. All the tension seemed to leave your body, despite still eagerly waiting his response.
Quietly, calmly, your dad replied. “I know, and I’m sorry. I know it’s just a word, and it’s not enough, but I am. I’m very sorry.”
You found yourself silent again, unsure what you’d been expecting. You’d wanted him to be sorry more than anything, even if you’d called him itching for a fight, but hearing him say the words affected you a lot more than you’d been expecting. Your throat felt tight and painful.
“____?” he prompted hesitantly, probably unsure if you were still there or not.
“I’m sorry, too.” It hurt to speak, the emotion you were feeling choking you. “For not telling you sooner. Maybe if I had…” You trailed off, started again. “I know it was a shock, so I’m probably partially to blame.”
It was why you felt so guilty when it came to Seokjin. You’d repeatedly told him telling your dad would be no big deal. He hadn’t been prepared for your dad’s attack. Then again, neither had you…
“You’re not to blame at all. Don’t be sorry,” your dad said now, sounding embarrassed. “It was all me.”
Silence yet again. You were terrible at this, and you almost wished you had Yeonja between the two of you acting as a buffer.
“But I do wish you would have told me earlier,” he said softly, clearing his throat. “Not because I’m entitled to that news, but…” He sighed. “We could have helped you, been there for you.”
“Seokjin was there for me,” you replied, not wanting to concentrate on the way your father’s admission made you feel. “Ever since I told him, he’s been there every step of the way. Even when I tried to push him out.”
“You wanted to do this alone?” You could easily visualise the concerned frown on your dad’s face.
“No,” you answered. “I always wanted Seokjin to be in his child’s life, it was just a…lot. Things happened. We were going to co-parent, but…our feelings changed.” You swallowed, feeling uncomfortable. “We’ve thought about this very carefully. I don’t just do things rashly, you know that, right?”
“I do. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, always have.”
“It’s called being the eldest daughter,” you pointed out.
Your dad hummed gruffly. “You’ve always been a grown-up.” A pause. “I didn’t mean what I said. I know it seemed like I was blaming you for getting pregnant. I was just… I didn’t want it like that for you. Me and your mother…”
As he trailed off, everything suddenly became clear. That’s what he was worried about? That history would repeat itself. “This isn’t the same,” you told him, gentle but stern.
“How can you be so sure?”
You couldn’t, not really, but it had nothing to do with doubting Seokjin. It was just how life worked. “It doesn’t matter whether me and Seokjin have been together for 5 minutes or 5 years, dad, relationships can fall apart whatever the length, whatever the love.”
“Wise words,” he remarked, and your mouth lifted a fraction, amused.
“We don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, but that’s okay, because we’re happy now and we want to try.”
Your father let your words settle, surprising you by not disputing them. “Is he—Is Seokjin there with you right now?”
“No, he’s on a business trip.”
“I need to apologise to him.”
“It’s probably best you do that in person.”
You were still in two minds whether or not an apology would be enough considering how he’d treated Seokjin, but it was a start, and you knew that Seokjin wasn’t someone who held grudges anyway. He wanted your dad to like him, that much had been obvious on Saturday afternoon.
“He gave me what for, mind you.”
Your eyebrows lifted, surprised. “He did?”
“He didn’t tell you?”
“We didn’t have—He was upset and then we didn’t have much time to talk before he had to leave.” Haltingly, you added, “He also said I should discuss it with you first.”
Your dad hummed, contemplating. “He was probably right.”
“What…did…you speak about?” you asked slowly, desperate to know.
He was silent for a moment, and you worried he wasn’t going to respond at all. Then, finally: “You tell him a lot.”
You pulled your head back, a little baffled. “I don’t k—well, maybe. I think he can just understand me very well.” And it was because of that understanding, you felt comfortable talking to him.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes being your dad.”
The weight of his words tightened your throat all over again. “Dad,” you managed, the syllable strangled.
“No, it’s the truth.”
“I didn’t make it very easy for you sometimes.” You had him down as Minsoo in your phone, for crying out loud!
“I deserved it,” he answered simply. “You always did prefer your mom—and that’s okay,” he reassured, when you went to disagree. “You spent most of your time with her and she needed you more.”
You swallowed the growing lump in your throat, noticing your vision was suddenly blurry with unshed tears. You and he never spoke about your mom. You let out a shaky breath and wiped your nose.
“I know it’s wrong of me to say, but maybe I was a little jealous, mad at your mother. I blamed her for our strained relationship for a very long time, but then eventually I realised I was the one to blame. When she passed—”
“Dad.”
“Let me say this,” he insisted softly. You nodded, despite him not being able to see you. “When she went, I selfishly thought this is it. This will be my chance to be close to you again. But it wasn’t. If anything, I lost you even more.”
“It wasn’t that,” you croaked, your chest aching with the memory. You cupped your bump, reminding yourself that you were never fully alone anymore. “It just…hurt.”
“I know.”
That was all he said, but it was more than enough. The way he said it made you truly believe he did know. He knew how left out and alone you’d felt every time you’d spent time with him and Yeonja, Jihoon and Jueun… Every time they tried to include you. They wanted to be there for you, but it hadn’t helped. It hadn’t comforted you at all.
“I didn’t try,” he continued, and he sounded choked up. You wondered where he was, probably in his work shed. You knew him enough to know that was his favourite place.
He blew out an unsteady breath, trying to compose himself. “There’s so much I should’ve done. So many things I wished I’d done and said, but I didn’t want to force myself on you. I know that was a mistake. I was the adult, I was your father, and yet I just let you make the decision. The decision you thought was the right one because I was so…detached.”
You had never heard him sound so emotional. You had never had an emotional conversation with him like this. When he and your mom had decided to divorce, she was the one who told you and held you as you cried. But hearing his voice break and wobble, unsettled you, and you decided it was the most horrendous thing hearing him be upset. You never wanted it to happen again.
“I wouldn’t have made it easy for you,” you managed to joke, but your excessive sniffing sort of ruined it.
The sound of his laughter, almost a bark, made you smile. “Don’t I know it, but still, I should have tried, never gave up.” Sombre again, he murmured your name. “You’re a lot like your mom, but the thing with that is, me and her were a lot alike too.”
You agreed wholeheartedly. “So basically,” – you let out a watery laugh – “what you’re trying to tell me is, I’m a mixture of both of you? That sucks.”
“Nope. You’re your own person.” He paused, and you were smiling. “You’re incredible. Talented, clever, strong, beautiful… I should have told you that a long time ago. He was right.”
Seokjin had told him he needed to say all those things to you? Seokjin had given you dad what for? You laughed softly, wiping away a few tears that had slipped out of your eyes. “Thank you, dad.” And thank you, Seokjin… Even when being unduly attacked by your father, he had managed to think of you.
“I never told you congratulations.”
You smiled. “Thanks again.”
“I can’t believe it, I’m finally going to be a grandparent, huh?”
“You sound just like Yeonja now,” you chided jokingly.
“I do,” he agreed with a short chuckle. “She’s very happy for you. I know she can be…excitable, but she loves you a lot. Always has.”
“I know. I always knew she would be happy for me,” you admitted. “I just thought…I thought it would irritate me. She’s been banging on about this for so long.” When you laughed, so did your dad, completely understanding what you meant.
“I ruined lunch for you. But for her, too… and Jueun. She’s barely said two words to me all week. Even Ji, I know he’s mad at me.” Your dad let out a long, regretful sigh. “How about you come around again? Whenever you’re ready. I have an apology I need to make.”
“We will,” you agreed.
“I know it won’t be enough, but it’s a start, right?”
“Seokjin won’t hold it against you, dad. He’s good like that.”
“’Good.’ I like that word.” Then he tsked. “But a CEO? That’s…”
“Dad, you do realise you own your own company too, right?” But you were smiling as you pointed it out.
“____, that’s different,” he sighed.
“Why, because you don’t wear a suit?” When he grumbled in response, you laughed. “It’s not how you’re imagining it. I thought the same, but he’s no Christian Grey.”
“Who’s that?” your father asked, audibly confused.
“Never mind,” you chuckled. “Anyway, it’s getting late. I should probably…” You were both awkward when it came to saying goodbye.
“____ wait a sec,” he hurried. “I was wondering… Have you bought a crib yet?”
“No, we haven’t bought anything yet.” Although, you should probably get a move on. All you’d managed to purchase were some maternity clothes because your closet was becoming well and truly useless.
“Would you mind—Do you mind if I made one for you?” He waited for your reply and then added, “For the baby.”
“I’d love that.” Your wide smile was both through happiness and surprise.
“Good,” he muttered. Then again louder. “Good. All right.” You could tell he was smiling. “I best leave you then. Don’t want to take up too much of your time. I’ll call you soon,” he added. “Keep you updated on that crib.”
“Looking forward to it.” You really were.
“Any preferences?”
“I trust you,” you said, still smiling.
“All right. Bye, ____. Love you.”
There was a beat of silence, a moment to process your shock. Then you smiled harder. “Love you too, dad. Night.”
Hanging up, you simply stared down at your phone, trying to remember the last time you and he had said I love you to one another. You couldn’t. Happy and emotional, you didn’t know what to do. Automatically, you found yourself changing his name to Dad in your phonebook. Without outrightly saying it, he had told you he was going to try now. With you, with Seokjin, with your baby – his granddaughter, and that meant that you were going to try too.
It was a small gesture, one he was clueless too, but in this moment, it felt big to you, and it made all the difference.
Finally, finally, it was Saturday.
You’d realised that without Seokjin, time went very, very slow.
He’d called you the night before to ask if he could come by your place straight after he landed at 10am. It had been the easiest yes you’d ever said. You woke up early, showering and dressing before Seokjin had even boarded probably, so you busied yourself by tidying up around the house, putting dishes away, vacuuming, straightening up throw cushions. At one point you’d been on your knees scrubbing the toilet pan, which was already becoming difficult with how quickly Glob seemed to be growing these days.
Putting your energy into cleaning worked to chill you out a little, but you were still very much excited for Seokjin’s arrival, especially now that things with your father had taken a positive turn. You couldn’t wait to tell him, for him to get his own apology too. But maybe more importantly – selfishly – you just couldn’t wait to see him. You’d missed him so much. You wanted to hold him, to feel him under your fingertips, hear his voice in the same room as you, accidentally kick him in your sleep and steal the blankets… This week had been horrifically long.
But with a knock at the door, it was finally over.
You whizzed over with the full intention of asking him why he hadn’t used his key, but then the door was open and he was there, stood in front of you wearing a white t-shirt and dark wash jeans. Effortlessly casual, even if his sneakers were so clean they looked as though he’d just slipped them on. You didn’t know who went to hug who first, but it was practically instantaneous, Seokjin squeezing you a little too tight, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him to ease off. It felt too good to be back in his arms.
“I’ve missed you” you heard yourself say, smushed into his chest.
“I’m sorry” he said against your neck, kissing it once before releasing you, bending down to kiss your bump. He stood and then kissed you, firmly, holding the back of your head with both hands. Yours found his shoulders, kissing him back with just as much feeling. When he pulled away he stroked the hair away from your face, gazing at you softly. “I missed you.”
You smiled, wrapping your arms around his middle, bringing him into another hug. He kissed the top of your head, letting out a weary noise. “I need to shower. I smell like plane.”
You released him reluctantly. “I’ll make us brunch. You had some clothes here so I put them out in my bedroom.”
His face warmed with gratitude. “Thanks. I’ll be quick.” He started to kick off his pristine shoes.
“Do you want to bring your case inside? I can wash your clothes.”
He shook his head, hand stroking down your arm. “We can do that later, no need to rush around after me.”
With a smile, you nodded, pecking his mouth as he stepped away, brushing your bump as he did so.
“Quick, I promise,” he repeated, chuckling.
When you were alone, you let your smile widen, happy the Seokjin you knew, your Seokjin, was back home.
.
.
During your late breakfast you caught up. He asked about Glob, musing with disbelief how your bump looked bigger. He wasn’t wrong. You asked him about his trip, and after you were done talking about that you spilled the beans on a massive argument Yuna and Jimin had on Thursday night – after you watched his talk (and after your talk with your dad.) It was about flower arrangements. Well, about why Yuna cared about them so much, which resulted in Yuna believing Jimin didn’t care about the wedding, which basically meant he didn’t care about her. She’d spent the night with you crying in your bed, your extreme reassuring hopeless because she’d sniffed all night long in her sleep. You didn’t like seeing her upset because it rarely happened. Thankfully, they were all made up now though, both apologising to one another the very next day.
After you were done eating, leaving the dishes for later, you went to sit on the sofa while Seokjin said he needed to get something from his car. He came back holding a small paper gift bag, handing it to you as he sat down. You looked at him curiously, and he jerked his head to encourage you to open it up.
“I saw it and just had to. For Glob, Globby, Globbina – whatever we’re calling her now,” he said with a smile as you carefully pulled out an adorable cream romper with whales on it, wooden buttons down the middle.
“I love it,” you awed, blinking at him and realising that you were filling up. You laughed, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I’m just—it’s been—”
“No, I’m sorry,” Seokjin stopped you, expression contrite. He reached for one of your wrists, thumb stroking over the delicate skin. “I should have never left like that.”
“It’s okay,” you shrugged, “we were both a little shaken up.”
“No, it’s not okay. We should have spoken about it.” His tone was firm. “I just… I guess I just closed off. I didn’t know how to handle it.” You looked down at the romper on your lap, fingers tracing a button as he continued. “I wasn’t expecting that reaction. We both weren’t. You were upset too, and I just left you.”
You nodded, because he was right. You’d needed him as much as he’d needed you, but he’d pushed you out.
“I was embarrassed.”
You frowned, glancing up as your heart tugged. “You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about, Jin. That’s all on my father.” Reaching for his warm hands, you met his gaze. “I spoke to him. He apologised, wants to apologise to you as well.”
Seokjin looked visibly surprised by that, his mouth parting. “He does?”
“You could have been anybody, Seokjin. I could’ve introduced him to anyone, and he would have reacted the same way. It wasn’t about you. And once he gets to know you, he’ll see what everyone else sees. What I see.” Smiling at him, he ducked his head bashfully.
“I don’t know what you see in me…”
“Don’t say that.” It upset you, but you tried to lighten the mood. “Didn’t I already tell you you’re amazing once this week?”
The corner of his mouth lifted, a slight smile. “I just don’t do very well with people disliking me. It’s ridiculous, but it gets to me sometimes, I can’t help it”
“I know,” you simply said, even as you wished Seokjin could see how amazing he really was. He was always able to see the good in other people, but never himself. He needed to give himself more credit.
“I called my therapist—,”
“You have a therapist?” you interrupted. That was news to you.
He nodded, shrugging. “It sort of comes with the job. I haven’t contacted her for a while, not since before I found out you were pregnant. She was shocked, to say the least. It’s not every day someone’s life changes that drastically.” You both managed a chuckle. “She made it clear that I shouldn’t run away. I know she’s right. She always tells me I can’t expect everyone to like me, but it’s hard.” He winced. “Does that make me sound very egotistical?”
“No.” You laced your fingers with his. “It makes you sound like someone with low self-esteem.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, voice almost a breath. Then he worried at his lower lip. “But this is your dad. He’s not just someone.”
Seokjin always seemed so mentally strong and put together, but everyone had their insecurities and problems, you knew that more than anyone. It was good that he had someone to talk to, and it was good that he was opening up to you. You wanted to be there for him, to understand what he was thinking and why.
You’d had bereavement counselling for nearly a year after your mom, although maybe it had gone on so long, it was just counselling in the end. You didn’t really remember much from that time, mostly because you hated to think of that horrendous year, but you knew that talking to someone had worked. It was how you’d gotten back to work and started doing things again, after all. Seokjin actively seeking help and advice, however small, was admirable. Yuna was your go-to person for guidance, was the only one you really confided in up until you’d met Seokjin, but even you understood the benefits of a professional. Hell, you definitely could have used one during that whole Sera situation… You probably got that from both parents too, that hesitancy to ask for help when you needed it.
As Seokjin wrapped his arm around you, bringing you close, you made a mental note not to be so stubborn and reluctant anymore, Seokjin’s willingness to share this with you, touching you, inspiring you almost. You turned, kissing his jaw. “Me and your daughter like you.” Your mouth pressed to his cheek this time. “Hoseok and Jungkook,” you began listing off. “Your family, Yuna and Jimin, Namjoon, my entire office – including Yoongi.” That made him chuckle, and you kissed the corner of his mouth. “Every single one of your employees.” He pulled an unsure face at that, making you chuckle. “Yeonja, Jihoon and Jueun—and my dad soon enough.”
Seokjin groaned uncertainly.
“Trust me,” you insisted. “He will apologise. It’s the least he can do, but it’s a start.” You smiled then, remembering something, “He admired the way you told him ‘what for.’”
“I did what?”
You leaned into his shoulder, looking up at him. “I don’t know what you said exactly, but for the first time in a very, very long time, we said I love you to one another—well, ‘love you’ but it means the same thing.” Seokjin blinked down at you, letting that sink in. You reached up to stroke his cheek. “You made us talk, like really talk. So, thank you. I’ll be forever grateful.”
Finally, he smiled, sounding really happy for you when he replied, “I’m really glad you talked. That’s amazing news.”
“He’s making a crib for Glob,” you informed him.
“He can do that?” Seokjin’s eyes were wide, impressed.
“Oh yeah, where do you think my artistic blood comes from?”
“You can do woodwork now?” he asked dubiously.
“No, but if I applied myself I probably could…”
Seokjin chuckled, readjusting his arm that was probably going dead under you. With his other, he reached to stroke your stomach. “What can I make for her?”
It still felt so strange referring to Glob as her. A good strange, of course. You cupped your hand over his as you hummed out loud, thinking. “A video game?” you suggested finally. “For when she’s a toddler or something. Something simple.”
Seokjin grinned. “I like that idea. Will you help me?”
“If you want me too.”
“I want,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss you.
The action was soft and slow, the both of you just enjoying the feeling of one another’s touch. A minute or so later, Seokjin pulled away with a little smile. “Out of everyone, I’m glad you like me the most” – another kiss – “because I really like you.”
You closed your eyes, the hint of tongue against yours igniting your body, and you wrapped your arms around his neck tightly, wanting him as close as humanly possible. You really liked him too. Everything you felt for him, it was intense, and maybe it should have been scary, but it wasn’t. It felt right. It felt impossible to remember a time when you hadn’t been feeling like this. And those feelings would only get stronger. You knew that, and you couldn’t wait.
Trailing kisses along his jaw and neck, tickling him, he asked what you wanted to do all day. You replied nothing, content here on the sofa, in his arms. Just how it should be.
Written 2022.
Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed.
© floralseokjin 2022
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