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#fundamentally unloveable about her
houseswife · 4 months
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parallels that deal me +10 psychic damage for every second I spend pondering them
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mybrainproblems · 21 days
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i've been having entirely too many emotions about supernatural writers this week
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pleaseletmeexist · 1 month
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People talk a lot about Bakugou’s possible intentions for being an ass to Midoriya, like some tragic backstory, but it comes down to a fundamental misunderstanding. From Bakugou’s perspective, he’s unloved by everyone. He never understood that Midoriya just LIKES him. To Bakugou, he is the most determined manipulator of all time. Him secretly having a quirk basically confirmed that to Bakugou. The real reason their relationship improves after their fight in season 3 is because he realizes, “Oh. He just… cares about me.” Knowing what little we know about his relationship with his mother and her constant belittling, it makes perfect sense that he tries to make up for his actions only after putting them in hindsight.
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diejager · 2 months
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Soooo, i have been thinking~~~ recall the stepdad!konig and dbf!horangi where they got reader pregnant and horangi took the responsibility for it? While i do know that they are tight knit buddy buddies and probably lives sharing reader with each other, what if horangi manages to trap reader into moving in with him and having a shotgun wedding? And because i’m a bit of a slut for angst - What if he becomes more possessive and decides that only he should have reader?. After all, konig already has his wife yet is still so greedy and going mad with jealousy
Cw: DARKFIC, DUB-CON/NON-CON, STEPCEST, forced marriage, panic, possessive behaviour, implied kidnapping, marriage tradition, tell me if I missed any.
König drowned in anger, letting his vitriol consume him whole at the sheer audacity his best friend showed. How dare Horangi take and keep you for himself? Had he grown so comfortable that he could discard König like an old and rusted toy? He was a bumbling and raging mess throwing a tantrum in his office, ripping into the paperwork on his desk and throwing things around the room, screaming and physically pained. His heart throbbed at the betrayal, the agony Horangicaused him for taking your hand in marriage when he was left with a whore, unlovable and discardable —though you wouldn’t know, you didn’t know how little he felt for your mother. She was nothing but a stepping stone for him and Horangi to approach you without any suspicion. 
He attended the wedding, a traditional one, it would’ve been so beautiful if he wasn’t burning with envy. You were draped in silken cloths and fabrics, the bright and passionate red of your hanbok, sewn with flowery details and white and golden accents and Horangi’s navy blue, accentuated with golden strands and a impressive imagery at his front. Every part of it screamed traditional with it’s matching bride’s maids in white and lilac dresses, the tea table, the Jeonanyrye (a duck your mother received from Horangi), and the acts of Gyobaerye and Hapgeunrye that had bile rising in König’s throat. 
Truly, it was amazing to see you being wedded, dressed in beautiful garments, face powdered and cheeks flushed, you were angelic to look at, dripping allure and innocence that he wanted to corrupt and devour. He cornered Horangi after the first night, confronting him about his sudden act and decision to marry you. König wanted to know if this was Horangi’sfirst act of separation, to take things within his own hands to keep you to himself, but Horangi had reassured him that it was simply the first step to trap you for themselves. König wouldn’t believe it, his mind running miles and miles, without a single though in his mind that would help his or Horangi’s case. 
He knew he was increasingly more possessive than he used to, like the hold he had on Horangi when he tried making other friends, or the grip on you that he couldn’t let go. It was a monster that grew and grew in his body the longer he left it unattended, a vile creature with an insatiable thirst for things that he made his —his friend, his items, his mask and his little pet. Both he and Horangi were victims to it, their bloods running green and their eyes seeing red whenever another approached you, but König suffered much, much more than Horangi did. He felt like ripping into Horangi for binding you to him, but he’d regret it, killing off the sole being that understood him on a fundamental way.
“She’s ours, König,” Horangi promised, his course pads holding König’s face, the cool ring searing his cheek while he made König look into his dark eyes, “This is just to bind her to us, when her mother is gone, we can take her elsewhere, hmm?”
König blinked owlishly, his mind moving at a snail’s pace in this moment of frenzied fear, his breath caught the back of his throat when the vision of you in a white dress at his wedding with Horangi bringing you to the podium to marry him. It would seal your fate with them; albeit slowly.
“Ja,” König nodded, gazing into Horangi’s mesmerising browns, “Ja, you are right, Mein freund.”
Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @cassiecasluciluce @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @lucienbarkbark @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @223princess @maylovesyousomuch @infpt-zylith @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami
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genghisthebrain · 6 months
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enid sinclair who grew up feeling fundamentally unlovable, was never anyone's first choice and hated everything about herself x wednesday addams who showed her love even when enid didn't feel like she deserved it
enid sinclair who always felt annoying for talking too much/too fast/ too strangely x wednesday addams who listened to every word
enid sinclair who was happy, smily and bubbly x wednesday addams who hugged her on the floor for hours on end and saw past the facade
enid sinclair with issues x wednesday addams who cares
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cdyssey · 11 months
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It's that tiny, baby goat named Bruce being brown and furry, like the pelt Shauna Shipman wrapped her dead baby in.
It's the fact that it's a boy goat too.
It's her immediate and irrational fear—upon even hearing the word sacrifice—that she's going to have to kill the kid. The goat. The baby. This precious, innocent life in her care. Because everything she loves gets taken away from her, doesn't it?
All her fault.
Every last bit of it.
She can't have anything that she doesn't eventually hurt.
(And yes, it's about Jackie. It's always about Jackie, even when she swears that it's not. Jackie, her first victim. Jackie, her first love.)
(She's wearing her shirt in this episode. She's wearing her life in this whole damn series.)
It's her sitting alone in the woods, disassociating, triggered by a goddamn goat, and it's her utter panic when she realizes that he's missing.
It's Misty telling her, “Well, you’re not that innocent either.”
And it's her so bitterly replying, “Do you think I don’t know that?” as she frantically searches for Bruce, yet another living creature that she thinks she’s failed.
It's the tenderness with which she holds him when she finds him again, mothering him so gently. She tells him—this goat—that he's delusional and dumb if he thinks she's gonna hold him all day, but then she fucking does it! She holds him! She cradles him to her chest like a baby, and it's so lovely.
But it's so, so sad too.
Because it's her pleading with the barn worker to make sure that the goat is okay; she doesn't trust her ability to take care of him; she'll fucking lose it if he gets hurt in her care.
And it's this guy robotically replying, "The kid’s care is entwined with your own." And it’s the way that Shauna's pupils immediately blow, and we intimately understand—well before she tells Lottie—that she's thinking about that baby in the woods.
And she's thinking about Callie.
And she's thinking that if this much is true—if her ability to care for herself is the metric by which she can care for a kid—then, of course, her children are so totally fucked.
With her as a mother, they were doomed from the very start.
(Relatedly, it’s Melanie Lynskey saying in an interview: “I don’t think Shauna’s really disappointed in people. I think she’s disappointed in herself. She takes things out on herself, and she just feels kind of fundamentally unlovable.”)
It’s her confrontation with Lottie, which is charged with their fraught and bloody past, by Lottie's obsession with the wilderness baby, by the dream where the baby is cannibalized, by Lottie's willingness to become both Shauna's punching bag and martyr.
It's the tears that run down her face as she says, as she confesses:
"I’m not crying about the goat. I don’t really know, um, what’s happening right now. Um, I think it’s just that I’ve always kept my daughter, you know, Callie, like, at arm’s length. I think just out of fear that she would… die, I guess. Or maybe that she was never even real to begin with. I don’t know. I try to tell myself it’s okay. That I’m safe to… to think of her as-as mine, you know, and to just be her mom. But I think something is broken, Lottie. I just can’t do it.
God, it’s how every line of this monologue is so fucking broken and raw. She told that bastard cop that she's just not very good at loving her daughter, and here is both the reason why and the brutal extent. In the woods, her baby died, but for just a brief moment, in the tantalizing spaces of that dream turned hellish nightmare, he lived. But then he died again; he was consumed; or was he?
No.
Abso-fucking-lutely-yes, but not in the way that Shauna could have ever conceived.
Because this is the idea that she can't think of Callie as her own when that first baby was never hers either.
Not really.
Our baby, Lottie had called him. He was their communal savior, their shining hope, their personal Jesus who didn’t live.
And Shauna's singular moment alone with him had been a cruel fantasy too.
It's her murderous rage at his death, the violence that such grief engenders in her, which in and of itself is an echo of Misty's Steel Magnolias monologue—the way she wants to hit someone until they feel as bad as they do.
It’s how she can't allow herself to love Callie completely because of her fundamental incapacity to discern reality from the nightmare. In the cabin, she accuses them all of killing her baby. Every goddamn day she fears that her daughter will die, if she even exists at all.
It's the panic in her eyes when she clutches the phone and asks Jeff if Callie is okay all the same.
Because that's her first instinct, her immediate assumption.
That something with her daughter is horribly wrong.
And that's the crux in the end, the horrible conclusion to all these frayed and tangled threads.
Something going wrong is the only reality that Shauna Shipman can ever reliably count upon. The entirety of her life is an open, gushing wound.
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comradekatara · 5 months
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so i read azula in the spirit temple. i actually quite liked it! it helps that she looks absolutely gorgeous in wartman's art style. it's so much easier to digest this new batch of hicks comics, not only because they're actually being written by someone who understands the themes and characters of atla, but because they're so much more aesthetically pleasing than the former art style, which didn't do any characters any favors.
now, i'm gonna venture into spoiler territory as i discuss specific panels, so if that's something to wish to avoid for now, i've put the rest of this post under a readmore. also, send me an ask if you want the link for the full comic, and thank you to @samtamdan for providing me with it!
i. thesis.
first of all, the idea that azula could have found "redemption" in the temple was teleologically illusory, due to the fundamental premise of how such "redemption" was being facilitated. that said, i don't think it was her "crossroads of destiny" moment (a potential for change wherein zuko chose wrong), but rather the leadup to "crossroads of destiny," which is to say, his metamorphic fever dream. like zuko, she's seeing visions of her loved ones manifested from her subconscious giving her conflicting accounts as to who she is and what she should do. so while the seeds are being planted, her growth is still to come.
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but genuine growth cannot be facilitated in this manner. how can azula embrace "growth" she knows to be an illusion? she's definitely not being overly paranoid here by refusing to "just accept what is offered," especially considering she has experienced psychosis in the past. while i think that this spirit does accurately acknowledge the root of azula's core issue, which is that she was raised in an environment where she was denied unconditional love in such a way that she convinced herself she was fundamentally unlovable and undeserving of care (thus motivating her to overcompensate through avenues she could excel in), the visions the spirit offers don't actually provide azula with unconditional love. they list her accomplishments and state how she is a credit to her nation, but that won't allow for azula to recognize that what she truly craves is a love that transcends stipulations and is not facilitated through fear. she can't have any sort of emotional breakthrough when she is being praised for aspects of herself that were valued and fostered by her abuser who indoctrinated her into an imperialist ideology, and so the promise of "redemption" (in this particular instance) was hollow from the start, and i think that she was right to ultimately reject it.
however, her moments of genuine vulnerability wherein she voices her repressed subconscious fears may lead to her eventually arriving at a greater self-awareness and emotional clarity on her own somewhere down the line.
ii. manifestations.
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a small detail i loved was when ty lee appeared to her, i could immediately tell that she was an illusion, because she was acting how azula sees her. the beginning of the comic even foreshadows this "reveal" (i mean, i think it would have been more shocking had she actually been real, but you get what i mean) by showing us a glimpse of ty lee acting more authentically now that she's no longer under azula's thumb. and it's particularly amusing to me that in azula's mind, ty lee is a perky airhead and mai is a massive cunt.
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not gonna lie, the fact that this is how azula sees mai made me laugh.
of course, ty lee does always feign oblivious cheer around azula, and mai is blunt and honest to the point that she can sometimes seem mean, but it also speaks to the fact that as much as azula clearly cares so much about them, she's never truly understood them. that said, azula's last clear memory of mai is her choosing to say the exact words that she knew would hurt azula most ("you miscalculated, i love zuko more than i fear you") so it makes sense that her subconscious would now manifest a version of mai who voices azula's innermost fears.
furthermore, the fact that mai would manifest to azula as an extension/double of ty lee instead of as her own person, wearing the kyoshi uniform even though mai herself is not a kyoshi warrior, is such an interesting choice to me. i think it signifies how azula views mai and ty lee as a cohesive unit; they are inextricably linked in her mind due to the fact that they chose each other over her. while zuko does appear later as a manifestation out of the same figure, he is wearing his firelord robes, indicating that azula's memory of mai in kyoshi warrior garb back in book 2 is significant to her. i think it can be read as a clever allusion to that very subtle moment of foreshadowing in book 2, but it primarily indicates how azula sees mai and ty lee as two faces of the same body, donning the garb they once wore as a disguise – only now it indicates that their dual loyalties were also in opposition to azula.
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ty lee, on the other hand, can only be a bitch to azula obliviously, when she appears ignorant of how much her words have the capacity to hurt her. considering this is a continuation of the yang established canon, the fact that (azula's vision of) ty lee would so casually suggest azula seek help from a psychiatric institution would read as condescending mockery and is clearly incredibly triggering for her, but her phrasing allows for an ambiguity of intention that azula has come to associate with ty lee's discursive affect.
of course, we as the audience know that ty lee was always perfectly conscious of how to veil her insults towards azula with enough plausible deniability that azula didn't even register them as deliberate insults at all. however, i wonder whether time away from ty lee with the hindsight of her betrayal allowed azula to reframe the nature of their relationship. and while she does still see ty lee as enduringly cheerful, that also makes sense considering she never truly witnessed ty lee drop her mask.
these nuances are the kinds of subtle distinctions only someone who truly understands their characters could write, which is why i'm so grateful they ditched yang and hired hicks.
iii. love and friendship.
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i also love these panels in particular as they speak to azula's feelings for mai and ty lee. despite her... less than stellar treatment of them, it's always been clear that azula does love her friends. the reason their betrayal hit her so hard is because she wanted them to care about her as much as she cared about them, and she rationalized that hurt after the fact by claiming that she was actually upset because they betrayed "their nation." this rationalization is a pattern for her, psychologically. azula uses her status as a means of elevate herself, while simultaneously debasing her personhood/humanity (not only viewing herself as a vessel/weapon, but fearing that she is in fact a "monster") as she fears that she is uniquely unworthy of love. the irony there is that her status as the prodigious fire nation princess was what led to her dehumanization, and (like zuko and iroh before her) deconstructing her imperialist ideology would be a necessary step in her ability to uninternalize the way she sees herself stemming from ozai's abuse.
i also found it interesting that azula calls zuko a "stupid boy who didn't even want her." there are so many layers to that claim. first of all, zuko isn't just a random boy (although he might be stupid). he's her brother, and as much as she may deny it, she cares about him deeply. but here, the fact that zuko is a boy takes precedent over the fact that he's her brother, which screams teenage lesbian logic to me. azula cannot understand why her friends would choose a boy over the close female friendship that meant so much to her because her attempt to inhabit mai's perspective, as a girl who has romantic feelings for a boy, is genuinely impossible to her. i know this interpretation may seem like a stretch, but i really don't think that azula would say "she broke up our team for a stupid boy" and not "for my stupid brother" otherwise, considering that azula does have an established precedent of feeling specifically hurt by her loved ones choosing zuko over her. her wording is distinctly gay here.
furthermore, azula claims that zuko "didn't even want her." i've talked before about how azula is hoisted by her own petard regarding mai's betrayal, since she initially set zuko and mai up (there is a comic that establishes this, but since i don't consider the comics canon, i will also say that this reading is heavily implied in "the awakening"), whether to control both of them through each other, or as an incentive to keep zuko on her side, or out of a genuine altruistic desire to matchmake, or a combination of the above, or otherwise, and that choice to bring them together ended up backfiring spectacularly. but i think the fact that azula had to pull the strings to get them together also led her to assume that any care they might have had for each other wasn't genuine, and while i think that to a degree she is correct, because their relationship was largely a hollow facade, she could not have expected that their relationship would lead to their breakup which led to their conversation in the boiling rock that motivated mai to take a stand. (and of course there's also the fact that the wording of the latter clause, azula claiming that zuko didn't want mai, is equally as gay as the former. she may as well have called zuko a slur here.)
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sidenote: while i could definitely spend ample time dissecting this entire panel, for now i'm just going to address the fact that the boy azula sees in her initial dream sequence isn't even chan (the guy she kissed) but ruon-jian. obviously azula in this moment knows that her hair looks like shit (although i think the overgrown uneven bangs are a really cute look on her tbh) and she's stinky from running around in the woods for however long she has, but the fact that the voice presenting that compliment to her isn't even coming from the boy she ostensibly "liked" makes it even more evident that she cares about validation from boys insofar as she believes that she is supposed to, but doesn't actually care enough about them as individuals to distinguish between them. chan and ruon-jian are interchangeable symbols to her that function to affirm her (heterosexual) femininity, but she still cannot fathom why anyone would forsake their cherished female friends out of genuine feeling for "a stupid boy." azula is such a baby lesbian.
and finally, the fact that this entire plot is incited by her replacement girl group choosing one of their own over her command illustrates how much mai and ty lee's betrayal still resonates. she is attempting to cling to an idealized past via recreating their friend group, but she still hasn't learned her lesson that she cannot make genuine friends by being controlling and ruling through fear, and so history repeats itself, and they, too, leave her. hopefully her next endeavor to find a friend group of likeminded girls will be tempered by newfound knowledge that love and mutual support creates stronger bonds than fear, but since she has yet to be shown genuine care from anyone in her life, that has yet to be seen.
iv. parents.
one quibble i do have is that because hicks has to adhere to the precedent set by the yang comics, despite navigating and adapting to those precedents deftly, some choices simply fall flat. for the most prominent example, the retcon that ursa is still alive necessitates that azula's understanding of her mother's absence is slightly muddied, but that's always gonna be a choice i disagree with, so i can't exactly single out this particular comic when it nonetheless does such a great job of attempting to mitigate prior issues, mostly by focusing entirely on its role as a psychological character study rather than attempting to deal with the mess of a plot that yang established.
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that said, i do think that this panel is really poignant, and the fact that azula is even able to speak to her fear of ozai is a really big step for her. i think that azula acknowledging that she legitimately didn't have a choice is actually a really important milestone on her path to healing. her cognitive dissonance regarding her denial that ozai's abuse dictated her actions through fear is a matter she needs to address and articulate fully if she is ever to find peace. it's understandably difficult for her to reconcile her lack of agency and how terrifying the circumstances of her childhood were, and she even oscillates here between acknowledging that she was terrified of ozai and claiming that ozai is the only family she has left who hasn't betrayed her. i think that azula almost wants to be a monster who drives everyone away because that means that she nonetheless has enough control to be responsible for her fate, and actually facing the extent to which ozai's abuse shaped her is really scary. moreover, it's still difficult for azula to recognize how much harm ozai has caused her because she has no other form of material support, and without the hollow approval of her abuser, she is truly and utterly alone. which, incidentally, is exactly why he isolated her in the first place.
v. conclusion.
while, i know that some people may be disappointed that the telos seemed like a net zero, i think that the push towards isolated character studies that don't affect the plot since hicks was hired actually works really really well considering she understands each character well enough to write these compelling little character studies that largely serve to reinforce the themes of the show via placing a single character under a microscope. and while i think the toph and katara standalone comics were cute but unmemorable, the suki and azula comics were really good because they are both characters who can benefit from having their perspectives foregrounded, whereas we already get plenty of foregrounded pov from toph and (especially) katara in the show itself. azula is a character whose inner life is largely relegated to subtext, so seeing her literal subconscious battle itself upon her spiritually-manifested psychological landscape was a really cool way of communicating her latent internal struggle that has compelled me for so long. despite it being a relatively short comic, there was so much to unpack here that i could really only choose so many key panels to discuss, but that depth and richness to the text is something i appreciate greatly. azula is one of my favorite characters to analyze, so this comic was really like a field day for me.
and here are just some panels i found particularly amusing:
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gotta find a way to take potshots at zuzu even when she's completely alone. she's such a little sister sometimes.
tl;dr: overall, i really enjoyed this aesthetically pleasing character study of azula's shattered psyche, and although i only unpack a handful of my favorite panels in this post, i am happy to discuss any further thoughts you guys may have regarding other facets of this comic in my inbox!
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sebbyisland · 10 months
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A One-of-a-Kind Affection: Skip to Loafer 53
This chapter revealed a LOT about Shima’s character so let’s break it down because oh my god. OH my god.
As was implied in the last page of the previous chapter, Shima is seriously put off guard by his conversation with Fumi. He can’t get over her comment: “Mitsumi-chan isn’t good at anything besides studying, is she?” She directly contradicts how Shima views Mitsumi, and thus prompts him to reevaluate his feelings.
To him, Mitsumi “has this image of always being right.” Keep in mind, Shima has already seen Mitsumi at her worst— from the very beginning, when she got lost in Tokyo! Shima has been there when Mitsumi failed, struggled, or was embarrassed with herself, and each time he only saw the girl who could pick herself up and run towards her goals, loafers in hand. He not only watched these things happen, but tried to give her a helping hand when she needed it, whether it was to encourage her, or help smooth out an awkward social situation. When Shima says Mitsumi “has this image of always being right” he doesn’t mean she is literally always right, but something with much more depth. Shima thinks Mitsumi, as a person, is fundamentally always right and good. Even when she fails. Even when she struggles. These are all things that make up Mitsumi, and therefore are always good (this guy. i can't).
The thing is, Shima himself is not even aware of just how highly he thinks of Mitsumi. He can acknowledge Mitsumi’s strengths and weaknesses, but unlike, say, Fumi, her closest and longest friend, he can't conceptualize objectively seeing Mitsumi's traits as anything other than positive. He likes her personality to the point it borders on putting her on a pedestal. This discrepancy between his opinion on Mitsumi and another close friend of Mitsumi causes him to question who IS Mitsumi, if not what he's been thinking this whole time?
To verify, he asks his friend Mukai, who basically repeats Fumi's words. Now Shima knows this is not a question of who is Mitsumi as a person, but who is Mitsumi to Shima?
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(Shouout to Mukai for really helping Shima reach this critical break-through!)
When Mukai brings up the possibility of romance, Shima leaps to reject it because he is uncomfortable with romantic attraction itself.
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Besides Mitsumi, romantic attraction always came from people who didn’t really know him and/or didn’t really care to know him. This had the opposite affect, and made Shima feel lonely and unloved. Unlike the most of the people Shima has dated, he actually really likes Mitsumi-chan as a person. There's an emphasis on liking her as a person because these are things he sees as absent or optional in romantic attraction. To describe his feelings for Mitsumi as romance discredits Mitsumi and what she means to him, which is why he asks with a frustrated expression, "Why does it always come back to romance?" Why does "liking someone a lot" have to be romantic?
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Mukai hears this and recognizes that Shima seems to see “liking someone as a person” and “liking someone romantically” as separate things, so he tries to compare notes as to how he views romance vs how Shima views romance. On a scale of liking someone "a lot" to "not really" Shima places romance at the very bottom! Romance doesn't mean shit in comparison to friendship, or whatever it is he feels for Mitsumi. This makes sense because, again, Shima understands romantic attraction at best as a surface-level understanding of a person, and at worst as a detriment to the relationship(see: his parents). So there's no way he can like Mitsumi romantically AND as a person.
Mukai explains to Shima that he sees "liking someone as a person is a baseline," which aligns more closely to the common social perception of relationships. You start with liking the general vibes someone has, and then you becomes friends, and then becoming lovers is like the peak of a relationship's level of intimacy and affection. What's interesting is that both boys are correct about their perception of love. Even though Shima doesn't fully agree with Mukai, talking with him provides a new perspective on romance that Shima didn't consider before. Now he can finally consider that romance can add to a realationship's existing intimacy, not detract from it.
For most of the people in the story, as well as the audience, this might seem obvious, but for Shima this is incredibly novel and important, because it means that
Liking Mitsumi romantically doesn't mean he stops liking her as a person
Romantic attraction is another form of intimacy, not a performance or surface-level interaction.
When Mukai describes Mitsumi's feelings as a "one-of-a-kind" affection, he means it in a conventionally romantic way. Shima, on the other hand, understands Mitsumi is one-of-a-kind because he's never had a relationship or feelings like he does with her. He knows Mitsumi cares about him as a person, but before his conversation with Mukai, he didn't consider how romance can be another way of showing that you care for someone.
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Romance between his parents only showed how much his father didn't care about his mom. Romance with the girls from school only showed how much they didn't really care about him. But Mitsumi fell in love with Shima because she cares about him, not despite of it. This is completely foreign territory for Shima. If romantic love is also a form of intimacy, then how is that any different from regular platonic love, or best friends? What does romantic attraction even look like?
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As Shima recollects all the moments with Mitsumi that are dear to him, he wonders if what he viewed as "caring for someone as a person" were also romantic. Is it romantic to save extra food for someone else to have? Is it romantic to bring someone a souvenir when they go out of town? Is it romantic to teach someone how to hold a crab? These questions don't really have clear cut answers. Only Shima is able to decide what these things mean for him.
I want to bring your attention back to this crab, though. Besides being an adorable little crustacean, Shima's interaction with the crab directly parallels his journey trying to recontextualize romance.
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In this scene, the crab is symbolic for romantic attraction. Shima awkwardly holds the crab Mitsumi gives him and expresses that this is an unfamiliar situation for him, just as receiving romantic affection from Mitsumi is a new and concept for him. Mitsumi is content with being able to share the crab (her feelings) with him and getting an honest answer back. The large panel that zooms in on Mitsumi looking down at the crab in Shima's hands draws attention to how content and happy she is spending time with Shima. It further emphasizes that their relationship, romantic or platonic, is about simply enjoying each other's company.
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Even though Mitsumi tells Shima how to hold a crab, he ends up agitating the crab, which then pinches him and leave. I interpret this as when Shima initially started dating Mitsumi, he ended up treating it haphazardly, which caused Mitsumi to catch-on and break up with him. Finally, when Mukai, the person Shima was recently discussing romance and Mitsumi with, asks him about the crab, Shima responds in a daze, "I don't know," mirroring how currently, Shima doesn't know how he feels about romantic attraction, or how it might apply to him.
Furthermore, through the depiction of Mitsumi in Shima’s perspective, it’s implied the reason the crab pinches him is because he was focused on Mitsumi, and not holding the crab properly. This reflects the critical miscommunication from when they were dating. Shima was so concerned with protecting his prior dynamic with Mitsumi that he didn’t consider what committing to a genuine romantic relationship would require from him. He didn’t, or rather couldn’t, commit to a relationship as much as Mitsumi did. Mitsumi knew that she didn’t deserve that kind of stress, so she asked to remain friends.
Thanks to Mukai, however, Shima can start to understand that romance is a real option for his own feelings about Mitsumi, and it won't detract from their friendship if it is the case. It's this level of self-awareness that allows Shima to get flustered by Mitsumi getting physically close to him as they look at the crab.
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I would even argue that it was the panel I have pictured on the left, with Mitsumi's smile, that is the moment Shima started getting flustered, since that panel is positioned to be in Shima's eye-line point of view, and takes up the majority of its page.
What is Shima thinking in this moment? He has 0 thoughts. Brain empty. Only one-of-a-kind feelings for a girl who he thinks is always amazing<3
I wanna reiterate this is truly such a special moment for Shima because while Mitsumi has always been a special person to him, he now understands that he thinks so because of his PERSONAL feelings. In caring for Mitsumi, Shima is able to care more about his own feelings. It’s a lovely payoff to all of his progress in understanding himself as an individual. He can discuss his personal life with Mukai, a friend who he previously kept at a distance. He can l stand up for himself when he thinks he being mistreated by an old friend. And he can even defend the people he cares about when other’s are inconsiderate to them. This is all part of Shima’s growth into becoming a fully realizing individual, and I’m so glad he’s been given the space to clumsily process all of this while remaining a true friend to Mitsumi.
TL; DR:
Shima truly adores Mitsumi and has only just realized that he likes Mitsumi to a different degree than what would be expected from a friend
Shima has been nonchalant about romance thus far because he didn't think romance was really about genuine intimacy, especially based on his past experiences
The narrative presents Shima's interest in Mitsumi as romantic attraction while taking great care in showing how romance has different meanings for different people and is not always the most important or intimate aspect of a relationship
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lakesbian · 6 months
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The only book in my bag that I hadn’t already read was called ‘Triumvirate’, a biography of the leading three members of the Protectorate. I was thinking I would spend as long as I could on Mr. Gladly’s assignment before reading, because I wasn’t enjoying the book. Biographies weren’t my thing, and they were especially not my thing when I was suspicious it was all made up.
obviously this is the part in a worm reread where one goes "teehee, Heehoo, so it was," but beyond that i think it's interesting that this bit establishes that taylor is already disillusioned with and distrustful of the narrative the PRT is presenting for itself, and it gets me thinking abt some of the early contradictions in taylor's behavior & thought processes we're going to see soon. her trauma has led her to deeply distrust systems of authority & society as a whole: the school system + A Lot of the children attending her school knew she was being bullied, and did absolutely nothing to intervene. this is reflected in her power--rather than being focused on control over just a few people or minions at once, it turns her into a walking panopticon, allowing her to survey (or attack!) entire swathes of a city at once. she feels that society itself is watching her and is either indifferent to or actively hostile to her, that attack could come from any direction at any time. and so she has the ability to watch everyone back, to avoid relying on any system of support by having her own thousand eyes (and as she learns how to innovate with her power later on, effectively her own thousand hands with which to control situations on a very broad level).
but despite this disillusionment with systems of authority (PRT/triumvirate included), despite her utter lack of trust in them and in people as a whole to do good, she still starts the book off by being Really Into the idea of being a hero, to the point where she places a nonzero amount of good faith in armsmaster under the very false expectation that he "owes her one" or would otherwise stick his neck out for her when all he's done is beef with her, a 15yo. (armsmaster why are you beefing with a 15yo.) and this fundamental bit of dissonance between her beliefs & her actions is because she'a internalized the idea that society is cruel and uncaring to her because there really is just something wrong with her, because she really is that ugly or disgusting or stupid or just Too Taylor for anyone to care about her. she distrusts systems of authority (& society as a whole) for not giving a shit about her, but she is not immune to the inevitable outcome of bullying wherein the bullied teenager believes that if they could Just Be Different, if they just Weren't Themselves, if they just weren't this terrible unlovable person, then maybe they wouldn't be treated this way. her initial obsession w/ being a hero is very much about that--she wants to believe that if she puts on this costume, if takes up this alternate identity and does it right, then the PRT will value her, then a system of authority & society as a whole will finally accept her and recognize her as something good and treat her fairly. which is a belief that we'll see ruthlessly shredded as she tries time and time again to place some last bit of trust in the PRT to not be Totally Ghoulishly Awful and the PRT breaks that trust every single time :)
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diosapate · 1 month
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sorry this became an essay but on the topic of john as misogynist, i know there are obviously more blatant examples in htn and ntn (and admittedly i'm only halfway through htn) but at least to me, i felt the misogyny was there even in gtn with the way he describes his relationship with / treatment of cytherea during the epilogue?
it's a different form of misogyny than the open disdain and degradation leveraged at mercy, but to me “She was the very best of all of us. The most loyal, the most humane, the most resilient. The one with the most capacity for kindness. I made her live ten thousand years in pain, because I was selfish and she let me" reads as a classic example of female objectification in the direction of the mother / martyr figure.
cytherea is defined here by her goodness and how she benevolently and selflessly served others. even though john fully names and takes blame for the pain he forced her to endure, he also places the blame on her for letting him do it. he denies her boundaries, complexity, and autonomy except where it would absolve him of guilt (see also, the scene in htn where john insists the murders at canaan house only happened because boe corrupted her). i know ableism definitely factors in to this attitude and treatment, but i don't think her being a woman was a small part of it either.
never apologize for writing me asks i LIVE for this. but you are absolutely correct in that this also falls back on Cytherea; admittedly it has been a hot minute since i read GtN so i appreciate a fresher take on this!
but yeah you're hitting my personal nail right on the head. from the way the other lyctors talk about Cytherea it really does look like she was subject at least some of the boys' club that the Mithraeum seems to be—(once again, the women began outnumbered and ended outnumbered; i'd love to know more about Cassiopeia and what her dynamic with the rest of the group is, although we get a glimpse from how John talks about her when he admits that she called his shit out for being "appallingly vindictive." would love to know how this translated over after her resurrection? hoping and praying we get more about her in AtN.) though it is, as you say, different from what is leveled at Mercy, and we know these dynamics can absolutely manifest in different ways.
where Mercy is shrill and "unlovable," Cyth is "gorgeous" and she "loved them all" which... isn't exactly degrading on its face but subsequent "poor little Cyth" by Augustine is definitely condescending!! (as much as it is endearing, in a way. they contain multitudes.) but i think most blatantly this behavior comes from John almost... victim blaming her? we can talk in circles for hours and hours about whether or not he could actually cure her cancer but it still stands that whatever he was enabling in her, she was (heavy quotation marks) "letting him do it."
John's insistence that Cyth was corrupted and denying her agency in genuinely hating him is really where i started to doubt that he just fundamentally doesn't misunderstand everyone he considers a close confidant. we already know he's completely fumbled Mercy & Augustine and that's how he ended up the object of two nefarious threesomes and also, like, exploded, but he's misunderstanding that everyone wants him dead because they want him dead. his actions are all the fault of other people and he cannot fathom not being adored, needed, and liked.
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Can I ask for an hsc in which Adam is betrayed by his third wife for the third time (reader)
How would Adam react if he found out about this? Would he give a damn and go to whores or despair?
Thanks you
OH MY GOD ☹️☹️☹️☹️my face when i was writing adam fluff and I saw this notif pop up in my ask box. i think this one might be shorter than anything I write and I apologize for that.
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Third time is NOT the charm | Adam x Fem!Wife! Reader
relationship: romantic warnings: mentions of cheating, aruging and just kinda angsty
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OHHH HE IS SO HEARTBROKEN
He already had some slight trust issues with you cheating in the past, never fully able to trust you again, so he followed you. Sue him, he wanted to make sure you weren’t seeing someone.
Then he saw you enter an apartment you had never been to before, only to come out way later in the day to you looking so disheveled. He may not be a genius, but he knows for sure that you slept with someone else. 
he gave you chance after chance, and yet you went behind his back once again
it is at this point, that he truly thinks that all of his failed relationships are his fault, that all of his inadequacies outweigh his better qualities, and that he is truly unloveable. 
I would think he would fall into despair. since he forgave you two previous times, I think he was really in love with you. When he loves, he loves hard, making this all the more painful for him. 
He spends a good while mourning the relationship, the love, and just everything. 
Outwardly, he becomes more bitter, more of a dick than ever before. Everyone in heaven already avoids him like the plague, especially since his reputation wasn't the best due to his…whole personality. Now everyone avoids him in fear of him snapping at them. 
But inwardly? He is so insecure and just looking for someone to hold him. A part of him wants to crawl into your arms and curl up like a wounded animal. Hoping that you would tend to it with such care, love, and grace that you once gave him.
Cries and gets drunk to Lute, telling her everything (Lute may or may not be planning your murder)
Begins to overthink your relationship.
Did you ever love him? Did you ever care for him? Were you like this in your life or just to him? Why even stay with him? What did he do to deserve this? Sure he was a shitty person, but he wasn’t a half-bad husband. He had never cheated on any of his wives. 
When he finds the courage to confront you, he is trying so hard to keep it together. He does well, up until you go into detail about why you did it.
Why? You just felt like it.
If it was with three different guys, it would hurt him, yes, but it would hurt him far less than if you told him it was with the same guy. It would uproot his entire being if he found out you slept with Lucifer (once or three times it doesn't matter)
If you did get with Lucifer, this breaks him fundamentally. He lost his first wife (unknown that Eve also slept with him) to that fucking devil and he got nothing for it each time. Just the feeling of betrayal and another wall around his already guarded heart.
He gets so angry at your nonchalance that he bursts for you to get out and that you both are getting a divorce. 
If you don’t care about it, it would hurt him more. In his mind, it shows that you never loved him, truly for him. 
If you care about the divorce, it makes him more angry. Where was this remorse when you cheated on him the first time? What about the second time? Why is it now coming up that he is ending things for good?
Overall not a win-win situation. 
Post-divorce, he vows to himself to not get with anyone. Now he is more of a dick, more nasty, vulgar, and everything under the sun. The pain of your cheating already hurt him in so many more ways that he is emotionally stunted romantically. 
If you tried to get back with him, to start over, he would laugh in your face and spit at you.
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I WAS LITERALLY MID WAY THROUGH WRITING THE PREGANT READER FIC WHEN THIS ENTERED MY ASK BOG anon when i catch you when i catch you anon /lh also hope this is what u wanted anon :D
anywayss hope yall enjoyeedd hehe
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littlebigmouse · 10 months
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The utter tragedy that is Gwen Stacy.
Like all spider people, she has to figure it out by herself. An endless slew of villains and only one teenage girl against them. An endless slew of villains and one of them turns out to be her best friend.
Peter Parker was bullied until he couldn't take it any more, and decided to fight back. She must not have noticed him cracking, breaking. He knew her secret the entire time, was there for her the entire time, and she didn't even realize his true identity until he was already burried under scaffolding and rubble.
"I just wanted to be special, like you." She's a wanted criminal now. She's always alone. She's hiding increasingly bigger and bigger parts of herself from her father, who loves and supports her and tells her he's going to lock her up as a means to comfort her.
And then he tries to. And she takes the mask off and he keeps trying. Gwen Stacy held at gun point by the last and only loved one she has in the world.
A freak accident happens and she winds up in a place where a Spiderperson has it all figured out and is a well respected member of their community. A place where her best friend is alive and well and special right up until she sees his corpse plastered on news reports all over a foreign city. And there are other Spider people. Other Peter Parkers, all haunting her with never-ending "What could have beens". Gwen isn't alone any more until she is, two days later and with no means to ever see the one tentative friend she may have made, ever again.
A year passed and he might have just moved on from her, anyway.
Gwen Stacy meets a Spiderwoman who is cool and capable and doesn't let love drag her down, but she still gained happiness, somewhere out there. Jessica Drew is a flicker of hope for Gwen that there might be happiness waiting for her, for a Spiderperson that isn't Peter Parker.
Except of course, Jess seems to barely tolerate her. The rescue, safety, is conditional. If Gwen falters, if Gwen isn't good enough, if Gwen slips up even once, she will prove herself a liability, will be send back into isolation, a hopeless situation, home. Will disappoint a person she's trying so hard to impress and connect with.
Spider society is still haunted by the countless ghosts of her best friend. Because every Peter Parker became a hero except hers. Every Peter Parker is fundamentally a good person who wants to save people, every Spiderperson is a good person who wants to save people, except her Peter and this Gwen, who has his blood on her hands. Notice how Gwen and Peter B barely talk, never have a real emotional conversation with each other. They treat each other as equals, and they do care about each other, but they can't shake off the ghosts haunting each other's faces.
Gwen tells Miles "in every other universe, Gwen Stacy falls for Spiderman." People don't soften their blows for Gwen. How did she find out about all the dead Gwen Stacys? She spend several months dimension hopping on missions, did she witness a Peter Parker fail to save his best friend? Is that a "canon event" for Peter Parker? For Spiderman?
Maybe Gwen and Peter can't coexist in the same universe without one of them dying tragically young. Maybe Gwen was never supposed to be Spiderwoman, stole the spot from Peter Parker, robbed him of his life, and her universe hates her for it now. One more anomaly for Miguel to catch later, once he finds out.
Maybe Gwen is the one who got away, she one Gwen who's supposed to have got it good, who made it, will live to see 30. The one Gwen to survive and she's alone, unloved, teetering on the edge. The Gwen that is special and thus shares her fate with all the spider people - will either watch her father die or watch him lock her up or even shoot her on sight. Which is worse? Miles asks Gwen whether that's it, and she just says "Yeah". She gets to chose between the rock and the hard place. Maybe she doesn't have a choice. Gwen Stacy either dies or watches everyone else die. Does it matter, which is written into the fabric of the universe and which is a fluke?
Gwen tries to play by the rules, can't risk messing up again for Jess, can't risk losing Miles, can't risk losing one more friend. One more friend because she can't help but get attached to people, can't help but fall in love with a Spiderman, like all the other doomed Gwens in other universes. But Miles is so fundamentally good he's burried under scaffolding and rubble, curled around a little kid he's saved. Gwen almost watches her best friend die a second time, willing to watch a few civilians die instead. She's been on the other side of that equation and the regret is tearing her apart, the other way around must be better, right?
Would Gwen do it again, knowing who was hidden beneath the scales? Would she sacrifice his bully, her classmates? A little kid and a police captain? Her police captain?
The tragedy of the classic trolley problem is that someone always dies anyway, no matter whether you pull the lever.
Gwen has alltogehter pulled way too many levers.
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strawberry-circus · 2 years
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I think the fundamental core of what makes BBC’s Ghosts work character-wise is that a lot of the tragedy comes from the fact that nearly every character met their fate before their story could truly begin
Because in most fiction—the part where they died would’ve been the miraculous turning point to some great adventure. The titular unlikely hero would’ve uncovered the big murder plot, or got the girl, or went to the ball, or chased after their love in the pouring rain for one final goodbye (or perhaps a new beginning)
But no.
Kitty’s sister was always cruel to the bitter end. She never found a way to go to parties, never found any kind of true love, and never made a true friend.
Thomas played right into Francis’s trap and was left to die alone. Never knowing about his requited love or getting recognized for his art.
Fanny never became a mathematician or saved the family. She didn’t stay inquisitive and imaginative but instead fell into the mask society made for her. By the end of her life, she was about as alive as the portrait on the wall.
Pat never learned about the affair, never got to see his son grow up, he never strayed from routine or saw his hair go grey. He missed out on so much that is so human. One trick arrow took him out of the world when all he truly wanted was a full and peaceful life.
Humphrey spent his adult life cold and trapped in some unloving marriage. The bone plot happened beneath his nose and before he truly can start a friendship with his wife, or even live his own life, he dies and it’s not even a hero’s death.
The Captain never runs out to Havers, never has the quiet conversation about everything that needed to be said. He watches him go and buries their project beneath the earth like everything else in his life, and he walks away. He never even came out—even to himself. And beyond that, he never found a way to be a person outside of the war.
Julian never has some big epiphany about all the wrongdoings of his life. Never puts any care into his wife or child. Never even recognizes that he has hurt others. Instead, he lived as he died.
Mary was just some pawn in a system she wasn’t allowed to understand. Her skills and talents all went to wish-wash for one reason or another, because the townspeople decided that she was different enough to suffer.
And Robin has been here so long there’s no telling why he isn’t allowed to move on. What was unsaid or untold to hold him here? All he has is endless time to hold onto.
Because that’s what this story is about. This isn’t about the heroes who saved the day or escaped by the skin of their teeth from some huge tragedy. This story is about the side characters who are nothing more than a footnote in history. Their deaths aren’t some big climax in a film or the answer to some big question. Because for most, death is random and unforgiving, it doesn’t wait for the right moment or hit the right people at the right time. It comes for everyone when it wants to, and it leaves a hole that will be paved around their absence.
A lot of what keeps the ghosts here is a million things that were left unsaid. Countless years of untapped potential, the would’ve’s, could’ve’s, and shouldn’t have.
But here’s the thing,
All of them keep moving forward. They all found each other one way or another, and now are finding support systems that just weren’t available to them in life. Now it’s not the most stable support system by any means, (see the murder plots and general set propriety of never talking about feelings ever) but they’re improving slowly! They’re stuck as flies on the wall to the living world but they make the best of it.
And with Alison and Mike added into the mix, their worlds are just growing brighter. And sure, they wouldn’t dare to talk to each other about their true feelings. That would be ridiculous. But they’ll be damned if you want to fuck over any of their weird found family. In a lot of ways, the ghosts seem to help Alison avoid the same mistakes they made. (even if they don’t always have her best interests at heart.)
They’ll try and call the police about a robbery, get Mike’s attention through frankly inventive ways, and thoroughly investigate any new people that come into the house like dogs barking at strangers.
And the soft way they all help each other in such obtuse manners. While they snipe and laugh at one another, there’s this underlying caring attitude they have about it all. From interrupting or distracting Kitty when she’s about to uncover something about her past, to spending all day looking for Fanny’s stuffed dog, to Robin’s moon rituals, or Pats clubs, or even the way they simply allow Captain the space to work out his feelings from time to time.
They were never the heroes of their stories in their lifetimes, but it doesn’t mean that they never had value. They’re just as sweet, wonderful, and annoying as any other human on this planet. And I think it’s that combination of heart and tragedy that truly highlights the comedy in Ghosts.
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fear-ne · 9 months
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fundamentally theirs is a story about two people who have become entrenched in their own unlovability after years of rejection. it’s not until imogen finds someone who is not repulsed by the essence of her existence that laudna finds someone who is not repulsed by hers,,, if imogen had never been able to read laudna‘s thoughts and if laudna had never been OK with that imogen wouldn’t know that she is lovable. laudna was the first person that didn’t mind her listening and the entire two years she could hear how much laudna cared for her. of course she was going to fall of course she was going to love laudna back it’s inevitable!! the acceptance and the love have to be bidirectional otherwise it never would have worked!! I’m losing my mind
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cadwhatalad · 2 years
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alright I’ve been thinking about it all weekend and I’ve figured out that what I find so compelling about exu: calamity is how, for the first time in a critical role campaign, we’re working from the point of view of The Establishment.
It’s weird because the thing that really set cr apart for me in the grand scheme of high fantasy media is that in the mainstream campaigns so far, they’ve been incredibly dedicated to playing the underdog. One of the things I really like about Matt and the cast is that they don’t generally go in for the Star Wars/Harry Potter bullshit of “oh it seems like this character comes from nothing but they’re actually secretly special because [insert weird theme of genealogy as an indicator of good character]”. In a wide sprawling world of Lost Princesses and One True Kings, critical role gives us genuine, bona fide nobodies. I’m so in love with the fact that Orym was only ever supposed to be a random bodyguard standing in the corner, that Nott’s big backstory reveal was that she used to be a housewife, that Launda’s character is literally meant to embody the idea of collateral damage.
Even Vox Machina, to date our most respectable party with connections/claims to power from the outset of their arcs (as opposed to clawing their way to legitimacy through adversity Mighty Nein style), only have that to a very limited extent. Percy is an aristocrat, yes, but in a place so small and isolated that it could be seized and ruled by necromancers for a solid half-decade without the neighbouring royal power noticing. Vax and Vex are the children of a high-level ambassador but they’re outcast, bastards, literally illegitimate. Pike is a respected cleric of a god nobody follows. Grog would have led his herd, but was first ousted by his uncle and then willingly ceded the position of power to his cousin. Keyleth was in the same position as Percy, royalty in a way that didn’t matter to anyone outside her civilisation before the conclave arc dragged them into relevance. As a party they spent a pretty big chunk of their early arc half-fighting with Sovereign Uriel in their quest for respect. Compared to our new exu folks they’re still very definitely underdogs. And, y’know, there’s a reason for that – underdogs make for some of the most compelling stories. It’s immensely satisfying watching maligned people gain respect, unloved people become loved, weak people become strong, disempowered people become powerful, etc.
So then I was thinking about all that and wondering why I find these new six so interesting, especially because. It really cannot be overstated how much power they have. We’re shown up front how competent and respected they all are, but more than that, we get all these hints in the build-up to the gala – Nydus being confronted with an NPC whose concerns are “too low” for him as if that’s ever been a thing at the cr table before now; that comment about Laerryn being so fundamental to the workings of the city that most people don’t recognise her on sight because they straight up don’t understand what it is she does; Patia’s exchange with Eldemir the wise – this guy is supposed to be one of the city’s seven highest government officials, and he’s senile. The way as we meet them we bounce from public to secret, statesman to merchant, the very guts of the city to its absolute peak. By the time they all converge at the party and Brennan says that thing about these being the six people who actually get shit done, it’s like. Oh. These are the people who are physically keeping the city afloat. They control infrastructure, information, public opinion. In a room full of the most powerful people in the most powerful city on Exandria, these are the ones who direct it all.
And then it’s hammered home by Purvan’s entrance, because in any other story, he’d be the audience-surrogate character. He walks into this glittering party with his muddy boots and his wolf pal, brings a message from the gods into this monument to arcane hubris, gets laughed at for his trouble by a roomful of wizards in fancy robes. The contrast between this young low-ish level ranger and the ring of brass is so fucking strong. And then even more, by the time he gets done asking to meet with the septarium, we already know that wouldn’t do him any good. We’ve seen what those guys are like already, we know that if he wants to get anywhere he’ll have to speak to our six. They’re the ones who are gonna be able to fix it.
And then I was like, oh. Wait. Calamity.
The reason we like underdogs is because we like watching them rise up, but these folks have already risen as high as it’s possible to go. And we already know how this story ends.  
We’re not just gonna see them fall. We’re gonna see them fall further and harder and faster than any other group of people possibly could.
Not to be too dark about it, but. I’m quite excited.  
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myfaveisfuckable · 3 months
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Janeway:
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- will literally martyr herself at the drop of a hat
- will kill you if she thinks it's what she needs to do for her crew
- will not kill you if she thinks you've got residue humanity after decades as a borg drone even though realistically she really should've (tho ofc we're all glad she didn't)
- will violate your personal rights if she thinks you're not "human" enough and also compare you to a replicator (yes I'm still salty about that. wait what was the question? right, i'll get back on track)
- will say absolutely deranged shit like "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in the a tone that makes me lose my mind and basically give everyone a crush on her (and also mommy issues) if they spend too long in her vicinity, leading to a very loyal crew
- her solution to having a crush on a fictional character was to delete his wife (very relatable but also very not normal)
- she wanted to watch hot Q on Q sex (possibly for scientific reasons) and looked very disappointed when it was severely underwhelming
- WHO brings a bathtub on a spaceship???
- there's more but y'know
Dokja:
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1. Introduced as a bland everyman only made exceptional by circumstance, slowly revealed to be the most batshit, suicidally depressed, bisexual maniac in existence. Uses self-sacrifice like a tool and is completely unaware of how beloved he is by the people he keeps pulling into his fold because he is so deeply and utterly convinced that he is fundamentally unlovable. He's like sixty foundational traumas stacked in a trench coat and he's always sixty steps ahead of everyone else and he loves the people he chooses so so dearly and people keep calling him ugly even though he's canonically pretty average and holy shit dude get some therapy please
2. do NOT let the pretty official art fool u. this is the most average 28 year old salaryman going through the absolute most in the apocalypse. ORV is a story about the most average man on earth with the most mundane, depressing life. and one story that he read to cope with it all. he's just some guy, but he is also the most beloved specialest guy. not because he had some hidden talent. just because he loved a story ferociously and also he likes getting in trouble on purpose. he is the most unreliable narrator you will ever find. every piece of the universe loves him for his average stupid self. you will understand when you read 👍
3. GHBJNKML i am praying someone has sent him in but. unreliable narrator the most ever and also i just. love him so much. orv in itself is such a goo dnovel but like. kim dokja is the definition of love and the most caring person but also he's suffered so much and while. yknow we're introduced to him as a kind of nerd but like. listen he's so fucked up juts LISTEN
4.He looks like a neet-pulled office worker. Spoilers:
turns out to be one of the oldest things in the world and the only being keeping it going and alive. He needs to be there to keep the world going. Also, he got like kind of adopted by Persephone and hades. Like his blorbo is real and in love with him. But this man looks so average that people call him ugly to his face just because he’s surrounded by absolute gorgeous people.
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