#fuck so close

[ftm-radio]

[SCENE: driving back from my appointment]

dad: ...am I going to have to teach you how to shave?

me: uh yeah! at some point, lol

dad: hm. well I can show you the way I prefer, with mug soap and a brush, because the aerosol cans are just no. I showed your brother my way and he likes it a lot better too...

dad: [rambles for a bit]

dad: ...it's really just another chore, you look in the mirror and go 'ugh I have to shave soon' so it's just one of those things you do every once in a while

me, externally: haha yeah, I can't wait :]

me, internally: he's talking about this like it's no big deal, it's not weird at all,,, he doesn't mind the idea of teaching me despite the fact that he never expected to be doing this with me,,,, he's my dad and he supports me even if he doesn't completely get it,,,

#i legit got this close 👌🏻 to tearing up in the car #anyway i am really going to take that nap now so g'bye #ftm radio #<3 #transgender #trans #ftm #trans guy #nonbinary trans guy #trans masc #trans man #trans masculine #nonbinary man #nonbinary guy #ftm positivity #trans positivity #holy fuck this one's really goin round again huh #6k 😵‍💫 #7k?!?!?!?!? #8k #9k #good lord #10k #11k #12k #13k #16k

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

while we wait.

may i offer you all a pubby?? lil bby barns?

#i would like to Squeeze Him Full Strength #look at him!!! so proud that he tracked mud everywhere!!! what a good boy!!!! #listen listen. im a cat person. but barnaby..... #in my mind ms beagle is trying to be stern but hes just So Darn Cute #we are ms beagle pov #scribble garnish #welcome home #barnaby b beagle #welcome home puppet show #no okay but real talk the potential of barnaby's backstory has me close to tears #like hes just a little orphaned puppy... he was ORPHANED #WHAT A FUCKING DETAIL TO INCLUDE LIKE???? OWIE???? #did she find him in a waterlogged cardboard box in the rain... just a lil puppy abandoned by the roadside.... #OHHHHHH IM GONNA TEAR UP IF I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT #who would abandon such a sweet boy.... #listen im weak to animals #but im Especially weak to innocent lil bby animals who are abandoned/orphaned... #like theyre just little guys who deserve all the love in the world... pure and full of love... discarded.... #WAILING AND SOBBING AND EATING YARN LIKE SPAGHETTI

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[panstarry]

my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

#pan draws #pan designs #zine #risograph #i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline #i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently #anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in #but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us. #so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they #actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye #tdov #trans day of visibility #<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you

[purrvaire]

they're so in love im gonna throw up real quick

#in my defence i had warned you i was going to be the most annoying fucker on earth #what the fuck guys this is too much for my brain to process #they're so in love i want to jump from the balcony #LOOK AT THEM #this is after the blitz and aziraphale had the courage to say CROWLEY was going too fast #MY ANGEL IN CHRIST YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO GIGGLE AND TWIRL YOUR HAIR YOURSELF #michael sheen commiting to make the softest warmest most loving eyes every chance he gets #what and i cannot stress this enough the fuck #my dads (real) #tumblr text meme #tumblr text posts #good omens season two #good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #user purrvaire

[aunmenosheteroenespanol]

2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

Tommy's family arc

#911 #911edit #911 abc #911 show #911 spoilers #911 season 7 #tommy kinard #evan buckley #evan 'buck' buckley #kinley #bucktommy #kinkley #tevan #pick a ship name you guys and thanks for picking tevan the most correct name #anyway analysis time! #looking back with Modern Knowledge tm about why tommy acts the way he does in the past... babygirl you were so closeted I'm so proud #babygirl was back there getting into narnia #he was so resistant to letting go of the pseudo-family he'd found at the 118 in chimney begins #even tho it was a good old boys club that he knew he really didn't fit into he was making himself fit because at least it was something #but then he let chimney in and then hen came around and he saw a very queer person being openly queer and not giving a fuck what they think #and I think his behavior in that episode was trying to support hen as much as he could without outing himself #because like. how do you give up years of relative safety with people who do care about you they just won't like you anymore if you're *you #then he meets buck in s7 which is like 10-20 years later timeline is fake and he's like oh. this is what unconditional family is #and he's like oh. maybe I can come back. maybe I can be part of this again somehow. maybe we've both grown enough #or at the very least he'll be close to something he never believed would really happen for him #rant over tevan my beloved tim minear pillow cold both sides god bless #my edits

[suntails]

toot toot!

#breaking my streak of dramatic af captions bc look at this. look at it. wtf was i supposed to call it. he's tootin whaddya want from me #he go TOOT TOOT on his lil trumpet i fuckgjn LOVE HIM im maxing this card im serious #lvl 60 10/10 no expense is too much for my precious boy #i found a new brush that has this rly soft charcoal vibe and i used it on this whole thing and it was SEXY it was HEAVEN #it was fun for coloring too!!! and the outfit colors are fun to color OUGHH everything made just for me <3 feeling SILLY #twst #twisted wonderland #twst silver #his bunny outfit sweeps like im sorry but its the best card of the event and its not even fucking close #suntails #i did one 10-pull bc i wanted the paint bonus from epel's card even tho i HATE that card #and i instead got SUPER lucky and got deuce and NO epel!!! i couldnt be fucking happier #then my job interview today never called and i was miserable again but it was an internal issue and im now rescheduled for next week #so please dear god pls guys pray i get this job. i want it sooooo bad

[maeo-png]

i get that it’s fucking hilarious that he’s horrifically sunburned after 300-400 years of vampirism. but do you understand that he’s so utterly connected to and defined by science and humanity and now he’s managed to put both vampirism and science together in a way that allows him to experience humanity again. even just for a bit. do you understand how not normal i am over this. he’s the most human of the vampires and it’s finally paying off for him.

#he was so fucking happy #but i cannot help but feel that this will be an icarus moment #where he flies too close to the sun #and gets badly burned #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #wwdits spoilers #what we do in the shadows spoilers #laszlo cravensworth

[mccoyquialisms]

ITS PROM, INTREPID HEROES! ASK RAGH ABOUT WHAT HE SAW AT PROM! ASK ABOUT JACE AND PORTER AND ARIANWEN!! INTREPID HEROES!!!

#rattling the bars of my cage during this AP ahdjdkska #ally being like ‘it’s something small he did 3 years ago’ like god they’re so close THEYRE SO CLOSE #if I’m right about this I am going to be fucking INSUFFERABLE and that is a threat #I need to update my lore doc after these episodes #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #dropout #my musings

[cursed-angelic-art]

I need to write about how Jun Wu's belief that everyone has the capacity for evil, if you just push them hard enough, torment them long enough, is directly contradicted by the entire story of tgcf, which posits that, actually everyone has the capacity for good. The misogynistic womanizer, the depraved cannibal, the man dead set on revenge, the one filled with envious resentment, are all able to do the right thing when it comes down to it. In a way, doing good is a surrender, it's giving up, it's as easy as falling asleep. And it's so much easier than letting the evils of your past dog your heels for hundreds of years. Isn't it such a release to change? To not be stuck in your old ways?

#i genuinely cheered when xl finally decides to tell hc about his past #hed been keeping it so close to his chest for so long and his inability to confront it was keeping him stuck #meanwhile hua cheng is so mutable #so able to change and learn and grow #the themes in this story are so fucking beautiful #tgcf #heaven officials blessing #xie lian #hua cheng

[bixels]

Posting a sneak-peak of this now because I'm about to be In The Shit school workload-wise, so this'll take me a while to finish.

Doing some character design exploration/expression sheets for Celestia and Luna. Figuring out Celestia's weird ass anatomy while I'm at it.

#mlp #celestia #fanart #my art #wip #the grand galloping 20s #delete later #look at me fucking smart guy signed up for 4 art classes in one quarter #so now i have 4 concurrent art/film/creative writing projects going on at the same fucking time #taking bets on how fast i burn out #anyways the idea behind the faces is the front face is the surface. it displays whatever emotions celestia intends when she's in control. #the two side faces––sadness and anger––are sides of her she has less control over. i drew all 3 faces active for the exploration #but in reality only 1 is active at a time. the others will either close their eyes or go catatonic like a puppet or doll #the final face on the back of the head is the deep subconscious. every ugly and violent and hateful thought and emotion #that lies buried under the surface. celestia has no control over that side of her. if she ever wakes

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i don't know what this is. the plush has invaded my brain. it has the controls now

#three of us! just three of us! look closely you will see... #dhmis but its the different wall..eys. ies. eyes. walleyes. WHAT IS THE PLURAL #fr tho i need the plush. i need it #thank FUCK there's a 21 day window #otherwise!! i would never have him!! and id be Crushed!! #he needs to be in my arms.... #scribble salad #welcome home #honestly though the plush is In My Brain #ive rewatched the ad so many times already... #its endeared me to howdy further. wally as well but thats a given #howdy my beloved....

[salamispots]

heard it was year of the dragon : 0 also been trying to learn clip studio more

#artists on tumblr #sketchbook stuff #no art summary this year haha got very chill? plus didn't draw a lot this year (or at least the past few months) #buT I did draw something for new years fdghjf #how the fuck do people use screentones hAHA #thanks to everyone who's still hanging around or found my stuff haha #also I think it's absolutely fucking wild some peeps are getting very close to following me for 10 years >:'D #edit: ohhhhhhh man I checked when my first post was in the archive which was november 2013 so this tumblr is literally 10 years old FDJFKH

[daftmooncretin]

imagine being scotty in tos. every day your friend group goes on dangerous yet exciting adventures to new planets but you can never go because they always make you babysit the ship. also you have to stay on facetime with them the whole time in case they need a lift. you are the eternal designated driver. the seventh wheel. you dont mind as much as you should though because you sort of want to fuck the ship

#an a24 film #kidding i know babysitting the ship is his job and he loves it #i do think about scottu alot though because hes always excluded from the triumvirute and we can assume chekov uhura and sulu are all close #because they are bridge crew so scotty’s not as close to them either #no wonder scotty wants to fuck the ship #hes the seventh wheel:( #i guess he can hang with bones if you belive the mcscott shippers #still i would not want to be scotty even though he is baller af #he has no bestie on the enterprise except the warp drive #i didnt think i had this many thoughts about scotty #weird #star trek tos #tos #montgomery scott #scotty tos #star trek #jim kirk #spock #bones mccoy #the triumvirate

[transmascissues]

“trans men don’t have any real safety concerns to worry about” i can’t wear a mask when i go into public bathrooms even though i’m higher risk and bathrooms are some of the easiest places to get sick because i don’t reliably pass when my facial hair is covered and i can’t risk not passing when i use the men’s room, but i also can’t just use the women’s room for safety anymore because i don’t reliably pass as either binary gender anymore. so my only options are to risk getting sick, take my chances with the consequences of not passing, or just never use the bathroom in public (which has its own health risks).

and today, it almost didn’t even matter that i was putting myself in danger to ensure that i passed because, thanks to a faulty lock and a man who didn’t think to knock, i came very close to having my half-naked body exposed to a bathroom full of cis men. if i hadn’t been holding my coat on my lap because there was nowhere in the stall to put it, every single guy waiting in the (very crowded) bathroom would’ve seen that i didn’t have a dick. how well do you think that would’ve gone for me? my money’s on Not Well At All.

#it took me a solid hour to stop shaking after #like yeah maybe the guy who opened the door would’ve have done anything but what about all the other guys? #i feel like the chances that None of those guys would’ve had a problem with trans people is pretty low #i’m so fucking lucky it didn’t happen but even coming that close was Terrifying #starting to use the men’s room consistently is…a time #but when i do it right i get less weird looks than in the women’s room so it’s not like there’s a better option #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men #transmascs

[boylikeanangel]

"I thought we carved it out for ourselves" "so did I"

#THEYRE SO CLOSE THEYRE SO FUCKING CLOSE IM GOING TO KILL THEM BOTH #good omens #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands