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#fuck everyone involved in that decision i pray to god they burn in hell
favroitecrime · 3 years
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But honestly past terrorist acts is not an excuse for being pro-IDF and committing ethnic cleansing & evictions of Palestinian refugees. Don't pin the crimes of their ancestors onto the future generations and punish them with genocide for it! Most Palestinians are "harmless Muslims", as the passively racist Westerners like to term it. Just like Uyghurs.
This!! Thank you!! You cannot defend the occupying state of israel and claim to be pro-life or pro-humans. God have mercy on the souls of children lost in this horrible war, but those “acts of terrorism” were a response to thousands being evicted from their homes to make way for people who weren’t even from there.
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kisskissbanggang · 4 years
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Standby pt. 5 -- The Finale
[30+ Min Read/10.2K Words – Bang Chan x Female Reader – Idol!AU – Half Plot, Half NSFW/Smut – Unresolved Pining, Soul Searching, Confrontation, Regrettable Situations, Rough Encounters, Role Reversal, Epilogue]
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Masterlist | Feedback
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You felt cold as you half-heartedly browsed the racks of CDs, and it wasn't just because of the dumping rain outside. This wasn't anywhere near the list of things you wanted to do today, yet here you were. Chris had blandly explained Hyunjae promised to take him to the music store on the way to the studio, that he would only need a ride there since he could more safely get back by himself later that night. However, Hyunjae got called away to one of her hundreds of meetings, and you were reluctantly roped in. It was the only thing he’d said to you since you both came back to Seoul. The car ride had been painfully silent. Chris hadn't even worn headphones. He just stared out the window as you drove. 
Chris’ browsing brought him closer down the aisle  to you. You’d had enough. It’d been rough trying to navigate this chasm between you and you just wanted to see him put at ease. 
“I'm sorry,” you said quietly, not looking up from the display as you browsed. 
“You don't have to say that,” Chris replied coolly. 
“What do you want me to say?” You prodded. Chris just flipped through CDs.
“I don't want you to say anything.”
A sigh sank heavily from your lips. “I just feel really bad--”
“That's fine,” Chris firmly snapped at you, “It's fine that you feel bad, because stringing me along like you have been doesn't feel very good for me either.”
“Stringing you along?!” You hated this. All of this. You hated Chris being hurt, but most of all you hated how confused you still were about everything. And now Chris would barely even look at you, let alone talk to you. 
“Yeah,” Chris nodded enthusiastically, “I took all this time, stupidly thinking we were developing something, really putting myself out there like an idiot just because of what you said on the plane, and--”
You looked up to see what had made Chris stop mid-rant. The cameras were here. He sheepishly bit down his anger and engrossed himself in the CDs. Each plastic case clacking against each other made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. 
It was prudent to always be on the lookout for cameras in public, so you should've still expected them even after there appeared to be none when you arrived. You tried to appear to be intently browsing the racks when an obnoxious voice came behind you. 
“Can I see the happy couple?”
Oh god. Not this guy. You noticed Chris’ shoulders tense along with yours. This guy was awful, this balding frog of a man who was outsourced by a couple fansites to take pictures during school days. You both tried your hardest to focus on your shopping. The guy prodded up against you, only backing off when you shot him a glare. 
“Awh, trouble in paradise?” The frog man laughed, still snapping pictures. 
“Can you leave us alone, please?” You asked begrudgingly. 
“What’s the matter?” The guy condescended, “is boyfriend Chan not getting you the CD you wanted?” This time, the awful man pulled on your sleeve, moving you out of the way to get a picture. 
“Excuse me!” You sharply interjected, stepping back in his frame, “That was extremely rude of you. Please leave us alone.”
“Just a couple of pictures and I'll be out of your way,” he grumbled, elbowing you back to the side. A small crowd was gathering now, despite the distance they kept. You spied a couple of cell phones being whipped out, and the fire in your chest burned a little hotter. 
“I really don’t think so--” you insisted, interrupted as Chris anxiously tugged on the loop of your backpack. Your feet remained planted firmly in place between the two men. 
“Come on,” Chris murmured behind you, “walk away. It’s not worth it.”
“It really isn’t.” The photographer chuckled, now grabbing onto your arm. 
“Let go,” you stiffly ordered, trying to sound as confident as you hoped you could be. 
“Then move,” he challenged. 
“You’re hurting me,” you warned. 
“All the more reason to let me do my job.”
“Fine,” you replied curtly, gaining all the willpower you could, “you do your job, and I'll do mine.”
That was it. You were done. You weren’t dealing with this today -- or anymore, for that matter. Stepping forward, you stomped onto the photographer’s foot, grabbing his camera and shoving it back into his face until he tripped back onto the floor. Your ears perked at Chris’ sharp gasp and whispered string of curses behind you. You grabbed his hand and moved to step around the man, letting out a startled scream as he grabbed onto the leg of your jeans. 
“Cheap move, you little bit--”
Chris stepped forward, getting an arm around you to pull you away. He grabbed ahold of your hand, yanking you back toward the rear exit and away from the assembled onlookers and their cell phones. He slammed open the back door of the store as the photographer got up to his feet and barreled after you. Thankfully the company car was nearby, having chosen to park out of direct view of the street behind the store. You sprinted around and dove into the driver side of the car while Chris scrambled into the passenger seat, your sweating fingers fumbling with the keys as the frog man caught up and attempted to pull the handle. You screamed again, quickly sorting through the keys as Chris reached across you and locked the door. There practically seemed to be three times as many keys as you guessed were necessary. Finally, you got a firm hold of the right key and stabbed it into the ignition. Exhaust spilled out from behind the car as you punched the gas, peeling out of the back parking lot and leaving the photographer in your wake. 
“Why did you get involved?!” You asked Chris, still breathing hard in all the adrenaline as you drove. 
“Me?! Why did you even start it?!” He shot back at you. 
“Oh, I’m sorry,” you let out a crazed laugh, “not all of us are insistent on being so congenial and noble at all times.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that I'm not someone who’s going to let people walk all over me just so I can look good.”
“You sure are lucky to have that privilege, aren’t you?” Chris slouched down in the passenger seat, flushed from his anger. “I mean, be condescending all you want, but it works. The pictures speak for themselves. Stay can always tell when I'm not having a good time, even when I wish they couldn’t.” You bit your lip, noticing him fiddling with his fingers and clearly preoccupied with something. The car ride was silent after that, up until you pulled up to the studio. Chris wordlessly opened the door and shouldered his bag. The need to say something, anything, was eating at you as he turned to walk inside. 
“Chris--”
“What?” He asked bluntly, pausing, his hand still about to swing the passenger door shut. He looked so thoroughly exhausted. 
“I'm sorry.”
Chris shrugged. “You couldn't help it.” He looked at you now, really looking at you for the first time in days. Surely, he must've seen how hurt and lost you looked as he shut the door and walked away. 
Your drive back to the dorm felt like a dream, like you were sleepwalking until the moment you walked inside and Hyunjae stormed over to you, apparently back from her meeting. She had yelled and berated you, scolding you for being so stubborn and reckless. Hyunjae shoved her phone in your face, flicking through photos and videos of you and Chris and the photographer. It was useless to tell her you were defending yourself. He was right: the pictures spoke for themselves. You knew you had made a dangerous decision, that the prudent thing to do would’ve been to bite your tongue and do nothing. 
And then she passed the news along. You were too much trouble right now. You were suspended indefinitely while the company figured out how to get rid of you. 
It would take too much of your energy to cry about it. Really, all you could manage to do was catch your bus back to your cold apartment, still sleepwalking as you walked inside. Even though it was your home, it felt so empty. You supposed it was from the lack of people you usually had around, but you knew that in the end, you were just stupid enough to get wrapped up in the wrong good intention. 
Days passed and your friends slowly realized you were back home. The beeping on your phone eventually fizzled from a storm to a light rain, occasionally buzzing as someone wondered where you were, if you were free to catch up. All you could do was drift from the couch to the bathtub to the bed, occasionally heading downstairs to the convenience store on the corner when you noticed you were hungry. It was getting to be too much, weighing on you and insisting upon itself. None of the texts that popped up on your phone were Chris, and they wouldn’t be. You had to finally see that. You resolved to answer the next text that came, praying to feel anything but lost and numb for the first time in weeks. 
Come out tonight, came the next message, we miss you, dummy. You sighed, begrudgingly thankful it was this and not someone inviting themselves over with ice cream and wine. Still, you fussed over an outfit to wear, even if you were quietly glad to be distracted. You settled on a simple and fun dress with some heels you hadn't worn in forever. You finally took the time to fully clean yourself up, even going so far as to put on some more makeup than your usual. The person in the mirror looked vaguely more put together than you felt, which was just what you needed as you ordered an Uber. 
The club was noisy and crowded, which you knew to expect, but it was bearable to have friends there. Everyone was gracious enough to give you two minutes of personal gushing and pecking and prying before the matter on everyone’s minds finally came tumbling out: Chris or, rather, Bang Chan. Were you dating, were you fucking, were you still together? You dragged your friends into a booth before you finally explained all you were willing to be held accountable for: it was complicated, and it wasn’t what it looked like, and it wouldn't be smart to say anything more. Your friends just about murdered you for such an apparent cop-out, but it was true. You couldn’t afford to give anyone the wrong idea, even if that meant telling them virtually nothing. It was dumb to keep things like this secret, but everyone knew that by this point, no amount of backlash could be cancelled out by now. You were obviously something, but saying that out loud — no matter if it was nothing or whatever it was they thought — would be falling off a tightrope. 
Everyone was pressing you for more details when your phone rang. No one ever called you. Who would be calling you? You checked, your eyes widening in surprise. 
Chris. 
You made an excuse to run off to the bathroom, shutting yourself into the last stall and talking low. 
“Hello?” You asked, attempting not to get your hopes up. 
“I’m in a fucking bind,” came Chris on the other end, distressed and yelling over music in the background. Where was he? “Can you help me?”
“How bad is it?” 
“Bad enough for me to be calling you.”
Despite the sting, you understood, snapping back into professional mode. It felt like being launched from underwater and back onto the beach as you grabbed a pad and pen from your purse and took notes. Wherever Chris was, it was only a few blocks away. 
Your friends all booed, trying to be understanding despite their frustration at your leaving so soon. You’d been a hermit for a week and suddenly you come out for a night, only to be whisked away once again. The cold air of the street stung as you stepped onto the sidewalk, your heels clicking on the asphalt as you shrugged on your regrettably light jacket. You knew you could walk in the time it would take to wait for a car so you hurried along, dodging passersby and praying it wouldn’t rain. 
You were surprised to find yourself standing in front of another nightclub and you made sure you had the right address. Sure enough, this was the place. You were bewildered as you walked through, grumbling as you dug out a couple bills to pay the cover charge and trying to peer through the dim lighting. The cacophony and drunks were just as annoying as the last club you were in. Chris almost never expressed much interest in going to places like this, so what was he doing here? You combed the whole place, even asking a bartender for a “friend” who just happened to match Chris’ description, when you finally heard a commotion behind you. 
Sure enough, there was Chris, Jisung, and Changbin, all holding back Hyunjae as she clawed at a bouncer. The boys were obviously trying to lay low with their face masks still on. Changbin had the brim of his baseball cap pulled low on his face, and Jisung had his hoodie pulled up. Somehow, the three of them were having a hard time calming down the small woman. 
“I shouldn’t have to leave! Let go of me!” Hyunjae drunkenly screeched, kicking and swinging as the boys tried to keep her contained. She accidently pulled at Chris’ face mask, ripping it off and making Jisung’s hood fall back. Right on cue, the cell phones whipped out and a crowd gathered on the fringes. You stepped forward, and the boys all looked up as they noticed you. Thinking fast, you did the first thing that came to mind: you punched Hyunjae right under the sternum, hard enough to knock the air out of her. The boys quickly grabbed her as she crumpled, slinging her over Chris’s shoulder and Changbin picking up her bag. They followed you out, running out to find the company car while onlookers still followed and tittered behind. 
“Car?” You breathlessly asked the boys behind you. 
“Around the corner, one block down on the left,” Jisung blurted out as he followed. 
And, of course, the photographers, having hidden away in the corners of the club, made their way to the front of the assembled crowd, snapping photos. You fell behind now, trying to get space between them and the boys until they ran up to the car. Jisung yanked Hyunjae’s bag off of Changbin’s arm, digging around until he found the keys and beeped the car open. Hyunjae was loaded into the back, Jisung and Changbin getting in on either side of her as Chris jumped into the front seat. Once they were safely inside, you ran up as quickly as you could in your high heels and fell into the driver's seat. You all fumbled to get the keys into your hand and into the ignition, cursing and yelling as the photographers caught up to you when you finally got the car started. You blasted the horn to disperse the swarming crowd and threw the car in reverse, feeling a bizarre sense of deja vu as you peeled out of the parking lot and onto the street. 
“Where are we going?!” Jisung asked from the backseat. 
“Hyunjae’s place,” you firmly decided, “we can’t let anyone else see her like this. We’ll get her inside and I’ll get you all a ride while I stay with her.”
“Are you sure?” Changbin asked. You nodded definitively. 
“Absolutely. She would do the same.”
You shifted uncomfortably in the driver’s seat as your dress hugged your legs together more than you’d like. You tried to be sneaky as you slid the hem up a few inches, just enough to get more comfortable as you sped along, but you still noticed Chris out of the corner of your eye, absently watching the extra flash of skin. His attention hurt for some reason, having proof that he still was capable of looking at you that way but not wanting to. 
“Tell me what happened,” you prodded, getting his attention back. He shrugged with a sigh, broad shoulders softening. 
“We were out meeting a producer down the street,” he explained. “Hyunjae-noona’s been acting weird all day, and she said she would wait at the club for us since we were having dinner and would be a while. I thought it was weird at the time, but… I guess I didn't realize what a bad idea it was.”
“It's fine,” you consoled, “your intentions were good. Hyunjae fucked up, not you.”
The boys worked to bring Hyunjae after you as you parked in her building's garage and headed to the elevator. You'd only been here one or two times, but you were still impressed with how humbly nice her place was. You were sure to be quiet as you silently moved down the hallway. 
Until you dropped the keys on the front doormat. 
Hyunjae roused as you hurried to pick up the keys, instantly getting rowdy again. The boys all jumped to attention, doing their best to shush her again as you got the door open. It was so polite of her to decide now was the time to finally lurch. 
“Bathroom, quick,” you directed, Chris following your pointed finger down the hallway. He unloaded Hyunjae off his shoulder and onto the floor besides the toilet and you leapt down beside her, getting her to retch inside. You all took a moment to breathe before Chris surprised you with an offered hand to help you up. 
“I think she's got it from here,” he panted with a small smile. You nodded, exhausted, pulling your phone from your purse and dialing for a car. This was a case of calling on a trusted company, and not just a ride share. The two of you walked back down the hallway, catching Jisung and Changbin collapsed on the couch in the small living room. You directed him to the tiny kitchen, letting yourself fall into a chair at the table. 
“You look really good, by the way,” Chris remarked, but he wasn't quite looking at you as he finally relaxed into the seat on the other side of the small table. 
“So do you,” you replied awkwardly. He really did. He was obviously sleeping and eating and staying active -- he was fine, just like you knew he'd be.
“I'm sorry if I dragged you away from your plans.”
“I was just out with some friends,” you waved him off, “I wasn't having an amazing time anyway.” His eyebrow perked up at the mention of ‘friends’, but what did that mean? 
“How have you been? The others have missed you.”
What about you, you wanted to ask, didn't you miss me? You thought against it. “I'm fine,” you shrugged, “I'm looking for new work.”
“What?” Chris did look at you now, surprised and a little hurt. 
“Well, yeah,” you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, “I can't stick around and keep causing trouble. Tonight definitely won't help that.”
“Okay then, that's fine,” Chris shrugged, “so you’re looking at other companies?”
“Not exactly,” you admitted.
“Oh. So you’re switching tracks, then? You’d do great in marketing.”
“No, same track…  But somewhere else. When I was first getting into trouble when we were abroad… Hyunjae mentioned a friend at a production agency in L.A. I actually have a letter of recommendation I want Hyunjae to sign. I even brought it out to show my friends tonight.”
“What?!”
You reached forward, pressing a finger to Chris’ lips and he smacked it away. “Will you quiet down, please?” You pleaded. He looked at you, aghast as he shook his head. “I’m sure you're even madder at me, from the sound of it,” you frowned. He shook his head again.
“No. I'm mad at myself. I'm mad that I let myself think if I got this behind me, that we could... It’s stupid. This is honestly stupid. I should've never let myself love you. It’s just made everything that much more difficult.”
“What?” You asked, dumbfounded. “You don’t mean that.���
“Don’t tell me how I feel,” Chris reeled, “I’m sorry, but I really am starting to regret falling for you.”
“No, that’s not what I mean. You don’t love me,” you insisted. Chris let out an indignant laugh as he got up. 
“I can't believe you,” he scoffed. “Fine. Tell me what to do. I don’t love you. Whatever. I'm getting the guys and waiting downstairs.”
You watched, feeling a bizarre sense of heartache as Chris pushed himself away from the table and stormed off. There was a quiet argument in the living room, and the front door finally swung open and shut. A heavy sigh fell from your gut as you got up. You eventually had to check on Hyunjae; everything had been too quiet. You padded down the hall into her bedroom, sliding open her organized drawers to find her some pajamas. You kicked off your tall shoes before heading back down the hall. 
Hyunjae lay in a heap against the wall next to the toilet, cheeks flushed but otherwise looking alright. 
“When did you get here?” She slurred tiredly as you worked on getting her dirty blouse off. 
“You’re a mess,” you said, feeling almost stronger for saying it out loud. “You caused a lot of fucking trouble tonight. I'm glad it wasn't me for once.”
“I just missed my baby,” she whined, her head lolling back down to her chest as you wrestled a pajama top onto her. 
“Ugh,” you wrinkled your nose, “don’t call me that.”
“Not you, stupid,” she scolded. She kicked you off as she searched for her bag. When she couldn’t find it, she slumped back against the wall, lazily gesturing out to the hallway as she shimmied off her jeans. “In my bag… My baby.”
Whatever. You could leave your letter of recommendation in there for her to sign, but you mostly wanted to know what the hell she was talking about. You found the bag sitting on the couch in the living room where Jisung must’ve left it. Carefully, you shifted around the jostled contents until something caught your eye -- an envelope. Another letter? You slipped it open, wondering exactly what you were looking at when inside was just a picture of a little girl. 
“See, stupid?” Hyunjae asked from behind you. She was fully dressed in her pajamas, leaning against the doorway to the living room. “My baby.”
“I don’t understand,” you shook your head.
“You wouldn’t,” she laughed meanly. “She’s six years old now. I get a picture of her every year. Look on the back. She likes to ride horses and her favorite color is blue.”
“Why isn’t she with you?” You sat on the couch, looking at the picture of the little girl. Hyunjae collapsed onto the couch beside you. 
“Her father knew what was best. He always told me that he would do right by me. We’re not together, and she’s with a family that isn’t stupid like we were. So I guess that’s what was right.”
“Who is--”
“The father? We met when I first became a manager. He was mature and nice and getting divorced. He’s still at JYP.”
You stared, eyes shaking a little as you looked from Hyunjae to the picture and back again. “But who--”
“None of your fucking business,” Hyunjae spat. “He doesn’t get pictures. Just me. I had her by myself, no one else was at the hospital with me. She was my little secret, and now she’s my six-year old little secret.”
“Why stay there, though?” You asked incredulously. “You could work anywhere.”
“I love my job. It’s my whole life. I told him I'd give up the baby if he kept my job. I shouldn't have to leave because I made a mistake.”
You blinked hard at the irony, shaking your head at the absolute audacity of the mental gymnastics at play here. All this time you’d hoped that Hyunjae was acting from a place of platonic admiration, a kind of kinship making her want you to succeed… Not some sort of bitter vendetta against her own mistakes. She ardently believed you couldn't help it just because she couldn’t. That realization burned, but it didn’t manifest as more anger. You pitied Hyunjae, and this didn't feel unlike the moment you’d realized your parents were flawed adults doing their best. Hyunjae interrupted your thinking with her miserable snoring from her end of the couch and, after making sure she was bundled up in a blanket and propped on her side, you found a bucket in her cleaning supplies to set by her. You grabbed a sports drink from her fridge and placed it on the coffee table. To top it off, you dug your letter of recommendation out of your purse, slipping the envelope under the picture of Hyunjae’s six year-old little secret and ultimately helping yourself to the bedroom. 
Nights passed and you didn’t hear from anyone. The morning after you bailed out Hyunjae, you’d slipped your shoes back on and caught an Uber home without rousing her. You didn’t hear from Chris or any of the members, you didn’t hear from Hyunjae, and you didn’t hear from any of your friends because while you were bailing out Hyunjae, you bailed out on them, and they assumed you wanted space. And maybe you did. You threw yourself into your schoolwork, almost forgetting in all this madness that graduation was fast approaching. Normally, you’d be looking forward to becoming a full-time manager, but now you had no idea what would become of you. You checked and rechecked and triple-checked all your graduation materials, refusing to mess anything else up. After all these years of hard work, you would at least walk out with the degree you were entitled to, if not for losing your dream job in the process. 
Graduation itself was almost a relief. Your family got stuck mid-travel and couldn’t make it, but you were being assured through multiple texts during the ceremony that one of your friends was keeping them in the loop and sending pictures. This was puzzling, considering you were currently sitting with most of your friends. It hurt to not have your family in attendance after all this work, but it was nice to know they were trying. You couldn’t shake the fact, though, that this felt like a post-mortem. After this was some ominous void that looked like it could swallow you whole. Years of careful planning, and now you were jobless and directionless. There was really no telling how difficult it would be to find a job with your current reputation if you didn't have someone vouching for you, and the idea of switching tracks entirely felt like failure. 
An elbow in poking into your arm let you know that your existential crisis was almost holding up your row of students. You quietly apologized, quickly getting up and falling into line towards the stage. You still couldn’t focus, lost in how going back to making coffee for bratty teens and huffy professionals would only remind you of how short you cut yourself off. Everything only became more fully realized as you crossed the stage and accepted your diploma. You smiled and waved for the event photographer, but were starkly distracted by something beyond the barrier, towards the back of the grand lawn where the ceremony was being held. A shock of blonde hair and some broad shoulders clad in black caught your eye, only blurred by the distance, but an odd shape that looked eerily like Hyunjae’s giant purse only made you feel even crazier. It would be a bit ridiculous to ghost you and suddenly show up on the fringes of your graduation. Chris, maybe, but absolutely not Hyunjae. Clearly, you had just imagined it, and you shook your head, ready to just head back to your apartment. 
No school and no job would end up being a huge learning curve to get used to. Waking up and having nothing was a bizarre feeling, and it made you a bit anxious, feeling even more lost than you already had. You tried going back to the gym. You tried going for walks, even when rain was dumping down outside. You got together your resume and a CV and portfolio materials. Nothing was helping fill this vacuum you’d created. For a couple days you severely considered texting Chris, your finger hovering over the send button but never going through with it. Again, he was fine. He would be fine, and once you moved on with everything, you'd be fine, too. 
Another rainy night arrived, this time seemingly out of nowhere, and you were taking firm stock of your cabin fever. What could be changed before you eventually had to move? You could get some plants, you supposed, maybe liven up this oddly cold apartment that didn’t look like anyone of substance actually lived here, when a knock sounded at the door. You tried peering out the front window which looked out at the walkway outside, but whoever was at the door was just out of sight. Carefully, slowly, you cracked open the door and peered out. You gasped. 
Chris. 
He was soaked, having apparently been caught in the sudden downpour. You both stood on either side of the threshold and warily regarding each other. Chris moved first, unable to keep still any longer and he stepped through your doorway, taking your face in his hands and kissing you back into your apartment. Your hands covered his, unsure if you wanted to tear them off of you or hold on tight. You did, however, finally let logic rule for a moment. Your hands drifted down to his chest, his drenched shirt under his open jacket clammy on your fingers as you gently pushed him back. 
“What are you doing here?” You asked him, unsure if you were speaking quietly or if your heart was just beating too loudly in your ears. 
“It’s okay,” he panted, “I’m supposed to be out with a friend right now.”
“No, Chris,” you shook your head, “why are you here?”
“I…” He paused, biting at his lip as he thought. Were those raindrops on his cheeks? “I heard Hyunjae on the phone earlier. She was talking to her friend in L.A., and I realized you’re really leaving and I might never see you again, and…” He paused again, a little more choked up and frazzled now. 
You took his hand, softly massaging his fingers in your grip. “Chris, Hyunjae isn’t going to just ship me off to L.A. She’s too bitter for that. I don’t know what you heard earlier, but you didn’t have to come here--”
“No,” Chris insisted, “Don't condescend to me. I had to come. No matter what, that moment just solidified that I--.”
You shook your head, letting go of Chris’ hand before he held onto you himself. “Don't say it--”
“Oh, don't you start with that again,” he shushed you. “Would you stop and listen to me for once? If you don't let someone in you're going to end up just as miserable as she is.”
“Fine,” you huffed, wrenching your hands out of his, “I can let someone in, but it doesn't have to be you and I don't have to ruin your career in the process.”
“Would you stop being such a martyr?!” Chris reeled. “Stop being so stubborn and let me be the one to do right by you for once. Don't treat me like I'm so precious, alright?! I'm so tired of being your little secret.”
“Secret? People know, Chris.”
“Then why are you still pretending you don't have any sort of real feelings for me?! What you say and what you do practically never line up and it's driving me absolutely insane. You're so insistent that you're the only one making sacrifices here and I've had it.”
You folded your arms, waiting and praying you were masking the fire raging just under your skin. “Fine. You've made sacrifices, too. Did you get that out of your system? Are you finished?”
“Holy shit!” Chris sputtered. “Would you come off it already? I come out here to tell you I fucking love you and you are being the biggest dick about it!”
“Stop saying that!” You sighed heavily. By this point you were both pacing your tiny apartment. 
“Stop?! This is the first time I could even try to get you to listen after last time, you nag!”
“If you’re going to be calling me names, maybe you should get the hell out,” you ordered, thrusting a pointed finger at the door. 
“Fine!” Chris spat, turning to leave. “Maybe I spoke too soon. You're already plenty like Hyunjae. She must be carting you off because she can’t stand having competition for Most Selfless Asshole.”
That did it. The fire under your skin shot up to your eyes and all you saw was red. You reached past him, grabbing the door handle for him and moving to shove him outside yourself. 
“Hey, would--? Would you -- fucking stop it!” Chris struggled against you. He attempted to push you back so he could actually leave, only to be met with your grappling hands every time he tried to create distance. He sighed. “I’m sorry for what I said. I was mad and it was terrible to say. Please calm down?”
“No!” You roared, startling him. You were too heightened by now, bristling with distress from all sorts of directions. Doing the only thing he could think to do, he tackled forward, hoisting you over his shoulder and trying to ignore your yelling and thumping fists on his back as he marched you across the floor to your bed. He unceremoniously tipped you down, letting you bounce onto the mattress before catching your flailing hands in his again and pressing them into the sheets. 
“Now can you please calm down?” Chris tried again, and you thrashed in his grip. 
“No!” You yelled again. “I can’t believe you would just come here and try to pull this on me.”
“Pull what?” Chris fretted. “I’ve made myself more than clear this entire time. I’ve never played games, or let you believe that I feel one way and act against that.”
“Oh, excuse me for trying to remain professional!” You shouted as you tried to wrestle Chris off of you.
“What in the fuck has been professional about this?!” He asked, bewildered. 
“I’m doing my best, alright?!” You shot back, “It’s fucking complicated. You know exactly how I feel and what I'm having to deal with.”
“How would I know how you feel?! You won’t tell me anything! I’m not a fucking mind-reader, and I’m not about to just assume because look where the hell that got me.”
“Well, maybe fucking consider that admitting I love you would feel like creating a giant goddamn detour from what we’re both working for,” you blurted before you could catch the words falling out of your mouth. Your eyes bore into each other, watching, waiting, before he finally had enough and dove into you, his lips back on yours like he was coming home. 
“Say it again,” he urged against you. 
“Say what again,” you challenged, “I didn’t admit anything.” You wrenched a hand out of his grip and shoved it down between your bodies, pushing past where his rain-soaked shirt was sticking to your stomach where your hoodie had ridden up in your scuffle. He gave a yelp as you tried to clutch tight onto him between his legs. It was a dirty play, but you wanted nothing more than to not have to confront this right now. 
“What the fuck?” Chris groaned against your lips as he tried to pull out of your grasp, only succeeding in his foot slipping in your bedsheets and falling back into your hand wrapped around him in a vice. “I hate how much I missed you,” he spat at you, his tongue nonetheless mingling hot with yours at your insistence. 
“You can’t just get me to do what you want by strong-arming me,” you fired back, your grip on his cock through his jeans only getting worse as you began to massage his length. 
“Don’t distract me,” he panted, but it sounded more like a plea, “and I'm not trying to make you do anything.” Finally, he let out a thorough groan at your rubbing, reacting enough for his grip to falter on your other wrist. You took the opportunity to kick him off the bed and onto the floor before you pounced on him, your soft lounge shorts not doing much to protect you from his rigid length rubbing hard between your legs as you pinned him. His hands scrambled to stop you again as you kept him distracted, rolling your hips on top of his and hating how much you missed him, too. 
“It’s so easy for you,” you hissed as you grinded down against him, only letting his restrained moans fuel you more, “you can come here and profess your feelings for me, but I'm the one who’ll get heat for this if we try to make it happen and people know. You’re famous, Chris, and I'm just staff. Or at least I was. No matter what, I'll be some dumb girl, or some monster, who couldn't fucking help it, and either I took advantage of you, or I was too dumb to stop this, but no matter what I'll come out worse than you will. This can be a bump in the road for you but this is already ruining all my hard work.”
Chris finally bucked you off, getting up and grabbing your arm to drag you back to the bed. He easily tossed you back onto the mattress, slapping your hands away as he tried to regain control. It was almost gross, how good fighting like this felt for some reason, but seeing how bad he wanted you only pulled harder on that gut feeling you kept trying to shut up. 
“You know, plenty of people think we’re just fine. We’d have support,” he huffed as he pinned your hips to the bed. 
“Yeah,” you struggled to pry his fingers off of you, “but any amount of dissent is going to be enough to ensure I never get to do the work I want in this entire goddamn country.”
“Holy shit, you’re so stubborn,” he growled, exclaiming when you tried to shove your knee between the both of you to throw him off again. He kicked your ankles apart, settling between your legs. His jeans were rough against you where his hips met yours. 
“Do you hate it?” You challenged him. 
“Not at all,” he grinned spitefully, and you realized  his smirk matched your own, “in fact, I love it. Because, for some reason, instead of talking like rational people, you're fighting me pretty hard just to not say you don’t love me.”
“Right,” you tripped over your thoughts in an attempt to follow his new tactic, “but you’re the one who kissed me as soon as I opened the door, so who started it?” 
“Fine,” his wicked smile grew along with his confidence, “then tell me you don’t.” Chris rolled you both over, holding you up on his lap with both your wrists in one of his hands. “You’re on top. You've had no problem telling me how it is, so tell me you don’t love me and I’ll leave.”
“It’s not that easy,” you stumbled through your words as you tried to tug your wrists out of his hold. As you stilled, you gradually sank into him. 
“Why?” He asked as he let you sink further against his chest. 
“Because…” You bit at your lip, really thinking of how to go about this. The way he looked up into your eyes made your whole body ignite. His grip on your wrists loosened and you melted against him, your fingers weaving into his hair that was still damp, smelling of rain and sweat as you kissed his brow. “I feel like I’m giving everything up if I say it.”
“It’s not forever,” Chris reassured you as he closed his eyes to accept your lips on his face, “this isn’t a contract. It’s just one day at a time, or a week, or a month, or however long it can be. I want you, even just for a little bit.”
Your lips on his brow traveled down to his cheek, pressing a kiss there as well in a gesture you realized you rarely practiced. Finally, apprehensively, your lips hovered only moments apart from his, hanging in a loaded silence that was threatening to swallow you whole. “Fine,” you carefully announced, “I love you. I'm not sure when exactly it happened, but it did and I've been miserable over you.”
Chris’ grin cracked into a wide smile as he took your face in his hands again. “Oh, babygirl, I’ve been miserable, too,” he laughed as you teasingly swatted him for the name, the actual joy in his voice shooting straight through your heart as he kissed you again. “Say it again.”
“You got one, don’t get greedy,” you jokingly warned, gasping as he rolled you back over in bed. Chris’ hips pressed into yours as his lips traced the line of your cheek down to your neck. 
“I’m so greedy for it. Please say it again,” he asked against your skin, his breath tickling you and making you laugh. You finally made the decision to push him up from you and grabbing his jacket and pulling it off of him. He playfully cried out as you rolled him off of you and sat yourself back on his hips, taking it upon yourself to peel his wet shirt off of him, just as it was finally beginning to dry. “See? If you’re going to strip me then I deserve at least one more.”
“Make me,” you triumphantly laughed, letting out a pathetic squeak as he quickly tugged your hoodie off over your head. His eyes slowly roamed over you as his fingers played with the hem of your thin tank top underneath. The moment you moaned at the feel of his hand on your breast, that mischievous grin returned as he pinned you back to the bed once more. He let himself get distracted as you slipped off your tank top, his eyes searching you ravenously. Your hands quickly searched for the button of his jeans as he nuzzled and nipped at your breasts, a gasp jumping from him as you finally released his cock and began massaging his bare length in your hands. “Give up yet?” You coaxed him, jumping as he swiftly pulled off your lounge shorts along with your panties. 
“Not at all,” he smirked as he sat back. He kicked off his shoes and jeans and quickly stripped off his briefs before climbing back between your legs, only to be met with your foot pushing him back. You took in the sight of each other, finally fully exposed in the dim light of your tiny apartment. Your eyes pored over his bobbing Adam's apple, down to his heaving chest and following the lines of his abdomen down to his flushed and leaking erection. He looked incredible in this moment, and you let yourself finally feel like he was yours, even for just a little bit. “You’re asking for it,” he laughed, pulling you back to reality, “I’ll make you say it.” 
Before you could get another crack in, he leaned down, kissing your knee and ghosting his lips over your skin on his way up to cage you in his arms on the bed. “Fat chance--” you attempted to tease, the words caught in your throat as Chris’ firm cock prodded into your soaked entrance. His lips pressed to yours as he slowly slid inside you. You never realized how much you’d been yearning for this stretch again, to feel him filling you out as he held you. 
“Say it,” he breathed, that handsome flush that you’d noticed when he was aroused taking over his body and crawling up his chest to his neck and cheeks. “Say it or you're not getting anymore.”
“No no no,” you laughed desperately, “please, please give it to me.”
“I’m sorry, babygirl,” he smiled, “you're not getting any until you say it.”
“No, please,” you begged as you attempted to roll your hips onto his cock from under him. “Please please please.”
“That's really too bad,” he shrugged, “it would’ve been so good.”
“No no, please,” you pouted, “fuck me, please, I love you, fuck me.”
“There we go,” he groaned instantly as he immediately began thrusting deep into you, “was that so hard? Now try it when I say it.” He kissed you deep again, his hand trailing down to make sure you were spread wide for him as he fucked you. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” you said, breathless, loving the feeling of giving yourself in to this moment. Chris moaned on top of you, the way the walls of your pussy massaged his cock making him almost wince from the pleasure. It was so good, you managed to still push him over onto his back, your hot depths still impaled on his length as you began to ride him. You rolled your hips hard onto his, savoring his moans and repeated affirmations of affection made under his breath as he gripped the sheets. You guided him a bit more forwardly, leading one hand to your clit as you grinded down against his length. 
“Since when did you get back on top?” Chris laughed. In this light, you could see how blown out his pupils were, how drunk on you he was that he could barely keep up. “I think I should get to be on top at least once in our lives, don’t you?”
He pushed you back over, taking a moment to tease your nipples with his tongue before he pulled out of you, smiling devilishly at your whines before he moved further down the bed. His tongue nudged in between your legs and your fingers were instantly in his hair, your back arching as he expertly laved at you. 
“Remember the first time I made you cum?” Chris smiled, picking his head up from your pussy and pumping into you with his fingers. You nodded timidly, watching and waiting to see what he was up to as his thumb drew firm circles on your clit. “I don’t think I've gotten to cum with you once since that first night backstage, but ever since I got you to cum I've thought about doing this.”
“Doing what?” You asked. This feeling of giving up control to him was keeping you alert, the vulnerability making you feel like you were spread open for him in more ways than one. He licked deep between your legs once more before coming up for air again, his chin slick with you. 
“I thought you’d remember,” he teasingly pouted, “that first day I made you cum on my tongue, I said that even after you were done, we weren't finished until I did.” Before you could question him, he held tight onto your thighs, keeping you open so he could lick and nibble at your sensitive clit as he pumped his fingers back inside you. Your head pushed back into the pillow, your eyes squeezed shut from trying not to moan too loud as Chris worked you over. All you could do was squeal and curse under your breath, completely at his mercy as his tongue pushed you dangerously closer towards your orgasm. 
“Chris, slow down,” you meagerly begged. 
“I got you, don’t worry,” he soothed, “I love you. You’re going to cum, and I’ve missed it so much. Now say it again.”
And you did. “I love you.” It began as a hushed whisper, then progressed to desperate whines and moans. He had such an affectionate power over you that you would do anything he said. Finally, just like he said would happen, he held you down and licked you through it as you couldn’t hold back your near-scream, your thighs clenching as your orgasm rocked through your body. And, just like he said he would, he didn’t stop. Chris kept licking and fingering your spasming pussy and you could almost feel his proud smile against you until he finally relented. 
You gasped for breath as Chris climbed back on top of you, his thick length almost intimidating now as he pushed up against you. He pet your hair, caressing your flushed face as you took an agonizing time to come down. “You’re being so open with me,” he marveled quietly. 
You nodded shallowly, still attempting to catch your breath. “Of course,” you breathed, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he grinned, almost as if he still didn’t believe this was happening. In a way, neither did you, until his rigid cock slid back into your aching pussy. You cried out, your hands clutching onto his arms as you were heavily overstimulated. “I got you,” he reassured you again, kissing your face as he fucked you into the mattress, “it’s so good.” He sighed into the crook of your neck, his hips rolling deep into yours. 
“It’s too much,” you whined desperately. 
“No no no, baby, you’re taking it so well,” he soothed, gently rolling you both over so you were perched on his hips once again. From this angle he was somehow even deeper inside you, filling out every inch of you that you didn’t even realize could be. “There,” he soothed, still easily bouncing you on his cock, “you have more control now.”
And, somehow, that move and remark put together made the overstimulation go from near-pain to near-bliss. In fact, in a bizarrely rare turn of events, you felt another orgasm mounting. Chris’ eyes lit up as you thrust along with him. “How close are you?” You asked, your nails beginning to dig into the lines of his chest as your momentum built. 
“Soon, baby, soon,” he struggled, moaning and squeezing his eyes shut as he clutched tight onto your hips, “you’re going to make me cum so hard.”
“Good,” you desperately panted, “me, too.”
Chris’ eyes snapped open, “You’re what?”
“I’m going to cum again,” you whined, trying to match his faster rhythm. 
“Holy shit, I love you,” he smiled, “cum with me.”
You both settled into this faster rhythm, trying to keep up with each other as you both neared your peaks. Chris slowed just the smallest bit, his breath hitching and steadying again as he tried to make sure you would cum together. He listened close for the changes in your sighs and moans, the twinges of your fingers on his skin giving him hints of when you were getting closer. You gasped as he pulled you down to wrap his arms around you, his lips finding yours as you both grew even nearer. 
“Now,” he breathed against you as he felt your walls clench around him, “cum with me now, I’m gonna--!” Chris threw his head back in the pillow, letting out a deep groan as he thrust his orgasm up inside you and savoring your impassioned moans as you came along with him. He held you tight to him, his hands running up your back and into your hair to caress your face as he kissed you through his peak, breathless as his cum flowed into you. 
The air of your tiny apartment was electric as you laid together in your bed, tangled in each other, as well as the bedsheets and your discarded clothes. You rolled off him and laid at his side, keeping a hand pressed to his chest rising and falling as he caught his breath. Wordlessly, he turned to face you, closing his eyes and grabbing for one of your shuffled blankets. He pulled it up over you both before taking your hand, pulling you to his chest as you both recovered. 
 And you woke up like that. It really was that easy. The two of you had fallen asleep basking in this liberating glow of letting yourselves have what you both wanted, and now you were waking up to the sun already streaming in through the blinds. Your apartment suddenly felt homier, almost like when you first moved in. You looked over Chris’ face, still just as close to yours as when he drifted off to sleep, studying to see how asleep he truly was. Skipping the sweetness, you pinched his nose. 
“No,” he shook his head as he pulled you closer, “I'm sleeping.”
“You’re awake,” you smiled as you grabbed your phone off the bedside, “and I'm ordering breakfast.”
“Oh thank god,” he murmured as he willed you to fall back asleep in his arms. 
“Was last night good?” You softly asked, unable to fight off the smile on your face as your eyes were still waking up. Chris turned his head more into the pillow in an attempt to stay asleep as long as possible. He lazily nodded. 
“So good. About time, too,” he grumbled with the faintest ghost of a laugh. 
“I never asked,” you said quietly, stroking his hair as you breathed him in, “how did you find my apartment?”
“Hyunjae wanted to talk to you about the job thing but she’s too proud to not fight with herself about it. I convinced her that it was her idea to try and find you at your graduation, and when she chickened out of that, she sat parked in the company car in front of your building for like… I want to say twenty minutes. I almost dragged her up here myself.”
“She wanted to talk?”
“She did,” Chris nodded, finally giving in and opening his eyes. He sat up in your bed and stretched as he rested his head back against the wall. “I don’t know what to tell you. She really was talking to her friend in L.A. last night.”
You dragged each other out of bed, at least enough to each put on at least some form of clothing as you prepared some coffee. He watched intently as you slipped on your bathrobe, but he got distracted by all the parts of your apartment you never really considered before -- the framed pictures, the books, the way you organized your desk. Suddenly, his attention in you and your space made you take a second to remember how lost you'd been feeling lately, if maybe it was just a symptom of something less sinister than mediocrity. 
“What now, you think?” Chris finally asked you. You set a cup of coffee in his hands, trying to focus on this moment so you’d always remember it: Chris, in only his underwear, hair a mess and drinking a cup of coffee while bundled up in your bed. 
“It depends,” you ruminated, “how long can you last?”
“Me? As long as you want, I guess,” he half-shrugged, “as long as we want, really. I just want you to be happy. I'll be happy knowing you’re happy.”
You held back as you considered all the factors at hand, not wanting to let yourself get distracted by getting nearer to him right now. “What if… What if L.A. makes me happy, but you do, too?”
“Then pick L.A… and me, too, if you’d like. You don’t have to stick with one thing -- or two things -- forever. I'll be happy even having you for a little bit, remember?”
“It won’t be easy,” you warned. 
“Has any of this been easy?” He laughed and you had to agree. You nodded, finally giving yourself permission to draw closer and get swept up in him again when the buzzer on your door sounded. 
“Hyunjae!” Chris scrambled, setting his cup of coffee on your bedside and lunging for his jeans, “Holy shit, she probably tore the city apart looking for me.”
“Not Hyunjae. Food,” you gently reminded him, and he let out a gigantic sigh before collapsing back on your bed. You opened the door. 
Hyunjae. 
“Unnie,” you dumbly greeted, and you heard Chris thunk onto the floor behind you as he frantically reached for his jeans again.
“Little sister,” she awkwardly greeted in return, “I don’t suppose you’ve seen Bang Chan.”
“Noona,” Chris nodded in her direction from behind you, still shirtless and horrified as he made a measly excuse to use your bathroom.  
You straightened up as Hyunjae looked you up and down, as well as Chris as he scampered out of her line of vision. This was your home, and you felt like you were on a little better footing against Hyunjae after that night at her apartment. “I guess I couldn’t help it,” you smiled demurely. 
“I’m sorry--” Hyunjae blurted. She tried again. “I’m sorry, little sister… I realized I’ve been too hard on you. As a supervisor, as a mentor… And maybe even as a friend. I was unfair to you. I'm not very good at this, so…” She slipped an envelope from her purse and into your hands. “You write well, but we already know that, and I made some grammatical revisions, and we both already know that as well. This is just a copy, of course. I already sent the original to a friend in L.A. who’s looking forward to hearing from you.”
“I know,” you replied confidently, excitement brimming under the surface, especially as Hyunjae uncharacteristically had a hard time maintaining eye contact with you. 
“I'm proud of you, little sister,” she finally said, and she nearly took a step back as you gently took her hand in yours. 
“Thank you, unnie. I appreciate that.”
Chris cautiously exited your bathroom, fully dressed in last night’s clothes. He looked back and forth between you and Hyunjae, trying to decipher how civil things were at the moment. “I’ll -- should we…? I could --”
“You'll call me,” you smiled reassuringly as you smoothed out his rumpled shirt, “and I'm going to make a phone call of my own, and in a few days you're going to help me pack, and a few nights after that you're going to take me out before I leave.”
“Yes,” Chris beamed at you, “that. All that.”
Hyunjae modestly looked away and began heading back downstairs as you insisted on kissing Chris goodbye, and you waved him off, feeling a weight lifting off your shoulders to a point that you could swear you were floating. You were capable, and for the first time, you believed it. 
Standby: An Epilogue
All these credentials, and you were suddenly a glorified intern. You fumed at whichever idiot’s bright idea it was to transform all your production assistants into liaison staff for groups and their management teams for an event like this. Nevermind that only a fraction of your team were bilingual, but only a smaller fraction were bilingual in a way that actually mattered in an event like this. That meant hiring translators, and that meant hiring temp teamsters to serve in place of your production staff, and that meant no one was prepping green rooms. Your actual staff was out fetching coffee and finding emergency hair products, so you were left grabbing groups for standby for various events of the day. You were walk/jogging to your next green room when your phone buzzed with a text. 
>>It was an absolute disaster at the hotel this morning, hope you’re having better luck out there. 
You smiled at Chris’ text, despite the stress coursing through you. Making it work like this had been hard for the past year, but predicting that and doing your best to roll with it had been helpful. 
>Disaster out here, too. Can’t we just skip to tonight?
>>Sorry, babygirl, I know you're just dying without me. 
>Stop that. I'm just looking out for you and your blue balls. 
You allowed yourself a relieved giggle at your text exchange before your earpiece crackled. 
“Green Room 4 for standby, banquet hall B.”
You clicked the chirp on your receiver twice, letting the channel know you were on your way. 
“Already got Room 4,” someone else came through. You paused in the service hallway you were currently occupying. 
“Partial 4,” a different director corrected. You clicked the chirp twice again, jogging down the hall in your regrettably inappropriate skirt and heels for this type of work before you rapped at the green room door. When no answer came, you flipped through your keys for the green room skeleton key and got the door open, gasping and quickly clapping a hand over your eyes before meekly apologizing as you turned back to face the hallway. 
“Sorry!” You called over your shoulder, “Final call for standby.”
A surprised chuckle came from behind you, instantly melting your heart before you even turned around. There was Chris, his face an incriminating shade of red where he sat at the vanity. “Babygirl,” Chris let out a relieved laugh with a smile, “I’m in a bind. Can you help me?”
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parkeraul · 5 years
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spill your guts or fill your guts
a/n: anon suggested me but for a reason i couldn’t load this gif on the post, so it’s gonna be here lol. as the hoe that i am for james corden and this very specific part of the program, i’m unable to say no.  warnings: disgusting things, cursing. 
“Okay, Shawn-Shawn-Shawnie-Boy,” James calls Shawn, spinning the table filled with all the stuff he likes to call “delicacy”. She’s sitting in front of him, James standing in the middle between them both and, so far, the questions were not that hard to answer (they were but the foods and the smell of them made they both gulp and think twice). “I’m gonna give you...” The host is prolonging the tension, making Shawn turn his face away and look at the crowd, awkward smile showing up. It doesn’t matter what he’s gonna pick, Shawn might probably answer whatever it is so he won’t have to swallow down a bird’s saliva or a thousand-year-old egg — and let’s not get started on the cow’s tongue and fish eye. She’s biting on her lip, nervous for him because it’s not like she can’t suffer along with him, she’s the one who kisses his lips (maybe not for the next couple of weeks, though.) The table stops and James takes his hands off the wood, “I’m gonna give you the bull’s penis.”
Shawn sighs, putting both elbows on top of the table and facepalming with both hands, still not ready to face the weird thing standing below his face. He’s holding his breath, covering his eyes and pressing his palms even harder against his cheeks, blocking every single way so maybe the food will take the hint, create some legs and walk away. His desperation makes him consider that this idea can actually happen if he asks with all his heart.  The audience is clapping and screaming like crazy, making James smile devilishly and feel internally proud of his choice. Y/N, on the other hand, waits for the noises to shut down so she can let go of her lip and breathe before saying.  “You know you’re consequently dragging me down with him, right?” She points to her husband, who hasn’t moved a inch yet.  “Of course!” James says, chuckling. “But after some rub-rub of tongues the taste will go out, I promise you.”  She pokes her tongue out just to the thought of tasting it on Shawn’s mouth. She’d probably make him brush his teeth for the next several hours and drink all the vodka in the world to burn the flavour somehow.  “There’s no fuckin’ way I’m eating this,” Shawn tilts his head up to stare at James, who’s getting a card and tapping if twice against the table. “I don’t care what you have in there, I’m not gonna put this thing in my mouth.”  “Well, Shawn,” James starts, reading the question all over again and struggling to hold back the giggles. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” His shoulders are shrugging repeatedly from the laughing and he starts whimpering, bringing the crowd to giggle with him and at Shawn’s discomfort. “Okay,” He breathes in, laughs fading out and everyone goes silent to hear the question. Every muscle on Shawn’s body starts tensing for dear life — he doesn’t give a shit, he’ll answer whatever he needs to answer: about his career, his childhood, his secrets, the times he didn’t feel good on stage, the place he loved playing at the most... Anything that can free him from eating a bull’s penis. “Shawn Mendes...”  “James Corden.” Shawn answers, legs shaking uncontrollably under the table.  “You and Y/N have two lovely children, that I even met sometime ago...” James says after laughing at his instant reply, highlighting his name like it’s the most normal thing to answer after someone calls your name.  “Yeah, we do...” The audience yells again and clap their hands, Shawn and Y/N smiling proudly although his heart is sinking, wondering what the hell does their children have to do with this clownery.  “And you say you can’t ever favourite one of them, correct?”  “I could never.” At this moment, Shawn’s heart starts beating more calmly, thinking of his babyboy and babygirl at home with Karen, probably asleep one on top of the other with the blankets they carry around the house.  “But,” Corden calls out, raising his index finger in the air. “Which one of them did you have the most fun conceiving?” And as if this question alone wasn’t enough, he completes: “And where did it happen?”  Both Shawn and Y/N’s mouths fall open and they’re silently hoping the kids are sleeping or playing somewhere far far away from the TV. They aren’t older than 10 years old but they’re also not stupid — and oh God they’d hear lots and lots of questions back home, as tortuous as the questions they’ve been answering during the show.  “That’s fucked up, man,” Shawn takes a sip of water, wishing this sip could last forever so his mouth would be filled with something actually decent and he’d be unable to answer. “That’s... Shit!” He hisses the last word, placing his glass back to where it was before. “I... Lemme think.”  “What?” She nearly screams, looking at her husband totally shocked. “Are you actually thinking of answering this question?”  The people are laughing hard along with James, having the time of their lives and for a second no one — I repeat, no one, Shawn included — can imagine what his decision is gonna be and he wishes he was just joking to build up extra expectations, but the memories are rushing back inside his mind and they’re too delightful — if he’s honest — but ugh there’s fucking bull’s penis sliced in front of him and ugh his children are involved and ugh people would probably tweet about this until the end of his days.  “I mean... I think I remember when Raul was—“  “Oh my God, he’s answering!” James can’t believe his ears, he thinks he’s hallucinating or whatever.  “Lord Jesus Christ, Shawn,” She thinks she’s never been this religious before, not only mentioning but praying to all the names she knows that her husband is only playing around. “Do you still wanna be married after this?”  James throws his head back and Shawn, who was starting to gesture his hands in the air, looks at her and laughs nervously. Little Raul was the first one and, although he wasn’t exactly planned, it was a nice story to be told. It happened 5 years ago but it was one of the best unexpected things that’s ever happened to him — in all possible meanings — and he finds himself reliving the moment here and there.  “Don’t you remember, honey?” Shawn asks her, like they’re at home without five or six cameras pointed at them while they’re live for the whole world to see. He lifts his hands up so he can draw the moment better. “Like, we were at—”  “Shut up?!” She kind of asks too, sounding extremely squeaky as she feels her heart missing the beats and the wedding ring on her finger getting cold along with her fingers. She thinks she might faint at any time if he doesn’t stop joking around right now. “Will you shut up, please?!”  “This is so good!” They hear from James who’s nearly crying his eyes off from how much he’s been laughing at the situation, barely okay to speak like a regular person.  “Babe, it’s bull’s penis,” Shawn emphasizes, widening his eyes and grabbing the little bowl and moving it next to her. She pulls her hair back and smells, quickly getting back to stay away from that horrible thing. “It’s simple: we’ll just never tell Raul about this or... Let him watch this interview.”  “So Raul was the best?” James asks, his big smile swelling his cheeks up and almost hidding his blue curious eyes.  Shawn goes speechless, smelling the food and putting the bowl back to its place. Fuck, it’s really disgusting. He looks at it and imagines that the texture is probably awful, and the taste has to be even worse. Knowing little Raul and concluding that he might only grow up smarter than he already is, Shawn rubs his whole face before placing both hands down on the table, tilting his head when he thinks about the other situation.  “Well... Now that you asked I might say that Isabella was also very very fun to—” “No way!” Corden comes out very loud and everyone laughs, some people covering their mouths just like Y/N is doing right now. Yeah, no way.  “I can’t believe this is happening...” She mutters to herself but audible enough for the mic to capture, making the crowd go wilder with her reactions as she looks down with her hand doing its best to support her forehead leaned against it so heavily.  “What?” Shawn opens his arms like he’s questioning a normal thing. “She’s going to be so mad at me if I don’t bring her up! You know she’s jealous.”  “I’m gonna be mad at you if you bring her or Raul up,” She says through gritted teeth, only facing him to point a finger towards his chest like she’s promising to bury a knife deep down his chest at home if he keeps on rambling. “Eat your penis.” She says and Shawn knows she’s not asking, covering his lap with the napkin they’ve offered. She’s coming off dramatically to increase the fun, but a huge part of her is being dead serious. Lord knows what the kids would say and how much they’d be teased in school. They can’t take the risk, that’s not even an option.  There’s a moment of silence when Shawn rearranges himself on his chair, gulping harshly as his hand threatens to go inside that bowl, moving back and forth repetitively.  In a lack of sanity, with a grimace taking over his whole face — hard enough to the skin under his hairline move so strongly that some curls fall from their place — Shawn takes three pieces between his fingers and shut his eyes close, shoving the food inside his mouth and chewing sloppily while he reaches the bucket on the floor, covering his whole face with it and spitting the food as fast as possible.  “Who-hoa!” James says, laughing weakly to let his words out. “That’s Shawn Mendes, everyone!”  People go back to clapping, screaming and whistling and Shawn practically swallows down his water in two large gulps.  “Thank God.” She says under her breath, relaxing in her seat.  “Is the marriage still up?” Eyeing her, Shawn asks raising an eyebrow and his grin is undeniably cute as his sweet puppy eyes study all her face, waiting for her response while he run his fingers through his curly hair.  “It is.”  “Then kiss me.”  “Na-ah!”
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nygmobblepot-trash · 4 years
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Untitled
Part 1 out of ?
I wanted to write a fanfic that takes place after Endgame that deals with Dr. Strange, Peter Parker, and Thor. Someone else too, but they will show up later. They never got closure after the hell they went through. The movies and tv shows don’t come out for a while and i have had this idea for a while now. 
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Stephen Strange laid on the cold wood floor of the New York Sanctum. Outside he could hear the busy traffic and people living their lives. The commotion used to be welcomed, now it was a reminder that they had won. Now it was a constant reminder of danger growing every day. He had used the time stone months ago to see how Thanos could be beaten. The only foreseeable outcome involved messing with time. Countless times he has been warned not to mess with time, yet he never listened. What else could he have done? Allow half the universe to vanish? Would he let Thanos win if he saw what winning really meant? Strange didn’t know. He wanted to stop thinking about it. He wanted the questions to stop more than anything. One by one the Avengers had come by with their questions and one by one he could see that they blamed him for their fallen. No one had actually blamed him out loud, but he could see it in their eyes. If only he had looked farther in time or used the time stone sooner to see the incoming threat. If only they knew sooner Thanos may have not even won in the first place. Now he had no time stone and no idea how to fix the mess he made.
At first Stephen couldn’t stand any type of quiet. After the snap that was all that there was in the soul stone. Absolute nothingness and never knowing if he would ever be freed. Now quietness is all he wanted. He wanted the natural disasters to stop and he wanted to get Loki as far as possible from the space stone. The theory is that the two are connected. Fix the changes made and things should go back to normal. If he could get Loki away from the space stone maybe just maybe he can fix that time line thus fixing his. It was only a theory of course and it was possible he could make things worse, much worse.
The overwhelming nature of the situation made Stephen take solace on the floor of the sanctum while trying his best to ignore the outside world. The door had not been opened for anyone for months. The windows had all be blocked off. Dust was accumulating on everything, except his spot on the floor boards where he spent most of his days at nights. He does not know how long it has been since he has closed himself from the outside world, but he does not care. He just needs to rest for a little while longer then he will figure it out like he always has.
Arguing from outside brought Strange’s attention to the living world. He should really find some ear plugs.
He watched as the handle tried to turn slowly and carefully. He heard more arguing and then the handle jiggled harder. Strange tried to closed his eyes and go to sleep. The door had a spell and there was no possibility of intruders. 
At least he thought there wasn’t until he watched from the top of the stairs the door get off its hinges and land at the bottom of the stairs.
“THOR! What are you doing?! I told you that I could come back later. He’s probably busy and does not want to talk to me,” a panicked voice yelled.
Strange watched as Thor walked his way into the Sanctum followed by a terrified Peter Parker. “Nonsense Young One. If you wish to talk to the wizard you shall.”
Strange quietly groaned and put his hands over his face praying that they would leave.
“It’s dark in here. He isn’t here. Thank you Thor, but I am going to leave.” Peter turned to leave, but Thor simply smiled and held the Spider-ling by his shoulders. Thor then pointed to the top of the stairs where Strange laid. 
“Wh- Why is he laying on the floor like that? Is he okay?” Peter whispered to Thor. “Why is there no lights in here?”
“Go ask him while I fix this door. If he does not respond simply kick him.” Thor turned to the door to “fix it”.
“That will be quite unnecessary” Stephen muttered pushing himself off the floor. “I was only napping, Peter. I was up all night doing research.” Strange lied as he met the two men at the bottom of the stairs. Well half it was a lie to be fair.
“I am sorry to wake you. I tried to tell Thor not to break down your door. Oh is there a light switch somewhere?” Peter looked for a switch in the almost dark Sanctum.
Stephen paid no attention to Peter. Instead he focused on Thor trying to fix his door. Fixing in this case meant setting it carefully against the wall so it doesn’t fall through the hole. “What?” Strange quickly turned to Peter realizing he was talking to him. “Lights. Of course” Strange answered himself and snapped his fingers. All at once the lights flickered on, the door was placed back on its hinges, correctly, and all three were sat upstairs. Thor and Peter sat together on a gray couch while Stephen sat across from them.
“Do not start doing that again.” Thor warned.
“You were the ones who barged in here. Now can you please tell me what was so important that you had to disrupt my peace?” Strange shot back. He was in no mood to deal with the Odinson. He had not seen Thor since the funeral no words had been exchanged between them. After that he ran off into space. Stephen hoped it was because Thor had not business with him, but apparently that is not the case. Strange then laid his eyes on Peter who had not stopped fidgeting the whole time.
Thor put his hand on the boy’s shoulder once again. “I am going to looking around this sad place while you talk to him.” Thor then met eyes with Stephen. “I know he will answer every single on of your questions.” Stephen almost laughed. Was that a threat? Of course it was. Add pissing off the God of Thunder to the very long list of fuck ups.
Stephen watched as Thor left them alone to undoubtedly mess with the way he had left the Sanctum.
Peter. He had been dreading this day. He hoped it never came, but here they where. Maybe he isn’t here to talk about what happened. Maybe he just needs help. Fury did call him a while ago. That has to be it. Fury wants a team and desperately needs him to join. No Thor said he had questions. Of course he wants to talk about what happened.
‘Tell him you are busy. He obviously doesn’t want to be here. You can deal with Thor too.’ Stephen’s inner voice pleaded.
Peter suddenly stood up. “I-I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this.”
‘You’re right. Leave.’
Strange watched as Peter started to make his escape.
“Peter... come back here. We need to talk, please come back and sit down.” Strange commanded. 
Peter slowly made his way back to his seat. Strange sighed and rubbed his face. “I’m sorry. I am not feeling myself currently. Please tell me what you have come here to say.”
“Well, its about what you said to... Mr. Stark after you used the time stone to figure out how to win.”
‘Just yell at me already.’
“Go ahead Peter.” Strange faked an encouraging smile.
He asked you how many outcomes there were for everyone living. You said there was one. Did I do something wrong? Mr. Stark and the others should still be here. Is it because I couldn’t get the glove off?”
‘He blames himself. Good you should keep it that way.’ Strange shook his head in hope the voice would stop.
“No Peter. Stark asked me how many we won.” Stephen admitted against his own wishes.
“But that’s the same thing! Why would winning mean Natasha and Tony dying! If that’s winning what is losing?” Peter yelled tears streaming down his face. “Was this the outcome you were trying to get to happen?”
“Peter unfortunately this was the best one. Sacrifices had to be made. I never made them do anything, Peter. I am truly sorry.”
“You never got along with him. How do we know that you...” Peter trailed off not wanting to finish the accusation.
“Go ahead. I want you to say it.”
'Say what they are all thinking.'
“You told him this is the only way when in reality this is the one that benefited you. It’s your fault. He thought there was no other way, because you lied!” Strange could see the hatred burning in his eyes. He could also see his own reflection in the boy’s eyes. He looked pathetic and not like himself at all. He deserved this.
“I did not do it to burn Stark. You’re right though. I lead him to his death. I knew if I told him he would chose not to leave his family behind. It was two people or the entire universe. It was not fair for me to be the decision maker Peter, but I didn’t know what else to do. I still don’t know what to do. The Chosen One was wrong about me.” Strange bent over and out his head in his hands.
‘It’s your fault. It should have been you. They had a family. What do you have? Nothing.’
He heard Peter’s shallow breaths become more calm as he sat down next to Strange. “Listen, i’m sorry. I don’t really think you did what you did to hurt him or Nat. I fought someone a while ago. He was my friend, I trusted him. He lied to me and tried to kill me and my friends all because he was angry with Mr. Stark. I trusted you. No I still do. I’m just afraid to get hurt again. I had to make sure you weren’t lying to me.”
“Lies may not escape his lips, but he does keep the full truth to himself. Isn’t that right, Strange?” Thor said while rejoining them.
“What am I keeping from you?” Strange sighed tired of Thor’s game.
“Loki.”
“What are you talking about? You watched him die with your own eyes!” Strange yelled getting throwing his hands in the air.
Peter whipped his tears away. He promised to help look after Thor after Bruce had explained to Peter that Thor had lost mostly everyone. “Thor, he’s gone.”
Thor crossed his arms. “Scott told me what happened.” He said simply.
Damn it Lang. Stephen told him that under no circumstances he could tell Thor about Loki.
“It’s clear that you are lost. You desperately need help, but you won’t ask for it because your ego will not allow it. I will not allow you sit here and feel bad for yourself.”
“Thor what are you talking about?” Peter asked clearly confused.
“Stark and the others accidentally created a universe where Loki escapes with the Tesseract after the battle of New York. I may need help Thor, but you are not the one to give me that help. I thank both of you for the talk, but I have had enought for tod-” Before strange could finish Thor grabbed his arms.
Thor leaned in close to Strange, his voice shaking with anger, “I told you, you were not going to do that anymore. I am not going anywhere. You are not the only one who feels guilty, but unlike you I am trying to do something about it. He promised me the sun would shine on us again. It will Strange.”
‘He’s right.’ 
“Alright, you win. Do not blame me when this does not go the way you want it to. Now if you please you can let go of me now."
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Thank you for reading and I hope it wasn’t too terrible!
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hollenius · 5 years
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I'm so so sorry but I have to: Werner for the character meme (and/or Chuck McGill, if you can't think of anything!)
What the hell, I'm gonna do Werner AND Chuck
Werner
Fav thingabout him: He is so sweet; if I had a German uncle or grandpa or something, I'dwant him to be mine. He obviously takes his work very seriously too. He(initially) seems like a very cautious, careful sort of guy...unfortunatelythis attitude does not extend to all aspects of his life.
Least favthing: He's too sweet, dammit. His naivete and trusting nature made megenuinely angry, because I couldn't believe anyone could be so stupid aboutanything when he seemed fairly smart about everything else. I don't think youhave to be "street-smart" to understand that breaking out of an enclosedcompound without permission isn't the sort of thing you'd be allowed to getaway with. I was annoyed at how he felt like a plot device at the endthere--that he just existed to force Mike to have to kill him. It's a fault ofthe writing more than the character. Everyone could see the end coming from amile away, which is (as far as I can remember) unprecedented in the series.Even things that were heavily telegraphed and seemed obvious usually carriedsome sort of unforeseen twist, i.e. everyone thinking the lantern was going tobe involved in Chuck's death, but not knowing it was going to be a suicide. Thesecond they showed Mike building up a relationship with Werner, everyone knewexactly where it was headed. Also, this is a weird pet peeve, but I hate how healways called Mike "Michael". Bro, you've been working with him formonths, you are the only one who calls him that.
Fav line:(agh, unfortunately I can't recall any because I don't have any way ofrewatching season 4 at the moment. I love that he was courteous enough totranslate into English that he felt like he was going to throw up in the bumpyvan ride.)
brOTP: Him& Mike as cute old man drinking buddies.
OTP: Werner& his unseen wife, I guess. (That phone call before his death was so sad. I hope nothing happens to her, but this is the Breaking Bad Cinematic Universe, so bad things often happen to innocent people.)
nOTP: idk,Werner/Kai? I haven't really seen him shipped with anybody so I can't say Ihave any strong opinions on the matter.
randomheadcanon: (again, I need to rewatch all of season 4, because I remember thestory arcs, but not enough of the little details in dialogue and stuff.)
unpopularopinion: I have to admit, I don't know enough of what the popular opinions onWerner are to know what an unpopular opinion would be. I liked him, I just wishhis character arc felt less contrived and that he was treated like less of adevice. I also have seen some people in some places comparing him to Walt,which doesn't really make sense to me, because personality-wise they're justtoo far removed from each other. (Then again, people were even comparing dopeyPryce to Walter White, which was also a stretch!)
song Iassociate w/ him: I...I have no idea! Sorry. (So long, farewell, aufwiedersehen, goodbye?)
fav picture: the cute little drawings @callmcgills did of him! (Also, ugh, the shot where he is, uh, shot...is beautiful. Depressing, but cinematically beautiful. I’m not posting that here though.)
 Chuck
Fav thingabout him: Honestly, as a fellow cowardly, anxiety-ridden, socially maladroit, perfectionistolder child, aspects of him are extremely relatable, frightening as that may beto admit. (My younger brother is of the slacker/moocher variety, rather thanthe con man variety, though.) I don't agree with everything he does, but I understandwhy he does it. (This is actually pretty similar to my attitude towardsSkyler's actions in Breaking Bad--I don't necessarily agree with her decisions,but I mostly understand why she acts the way she does.)
Least favthing: I think he should've been willing to at least put Jimmy on some sort ofprobationary path to HHM after he landed Sandpiper. HHM was under no obligationto hire Jimmy after he passed the bar (a lot of fandom seems to feel otherwise,which makes no sense! I don't think any other firm would've wanted to hireJimmy either!) Jimmy probably would've still managed to screw something up, butat least then if Chuck wanted to officially bar him from working for HHM forgood, Jimmy would know why, and what it was that he had done to cause that. Itdoes no good to punish someone if he doesn't even understand he's beingpunished, which is what the whole issue is in the first place with Chuck goingbehind Jimmy's back and using Howard as the perpetual bearer of bad news.
Fav line:"Because if there's one thing kids love, it's local printjournalism."
brOTP: lmao Chuck is bros with nobody except his space blanket, and his ol'sipping-scotch-and-chortling companion Howard, before that relationship gotdestroyed...
OTP: ...althoughI must also confess a SHAMEFUL desire to ship Chuck/Howard, because it's gotsuch a messed up power dynamic, because they've known each other for at least18 years, because Howard's clearly still so much in awe of Chuck (which Chuckprobably enjoys), and because neither of them seems to have any other friendsor close relationships. (Are we ever going to learn what's up with Howard'swedding ring? Even my mom thinks Howard is gay at this point! And what's upwith papa Hamlin? Did he die? Retire?) Canon-wise, I'm actually really curiousabout Chuck & Rebecca's relationship, because I have to wonder what it washe did that caused her to divorce him, but not bear any particular grudge oranimus towards him afterwards. He was clearly really upset about the divorce,but doesn't bear any ill-will towards her either. She doesn't appear to enteredinto any new relationship after the divorce either. It's all very mysterious.
nOTP: I can'ttell if this person was serious or not, but I swear I remember seeing someonepropose some theory that Kim had fucked Chuck at some point, and that's gonnaget a BIG NO from me.
randomheadcanon: oh god I've got like five hundred of them at this point. Themassive infodump that was Chuck's obituary in the season 4 premiere contributedto a lot of them, I think. I imagine Chuck's freshman year of college, at age14, was absolute hell for him. He was so proud to get accepted to an Ivy Leagueschool, but had been upset it wasn't a more prestigious one, like Harvard,Yale, or Princeton. (He had applied to them and had a few interviews, but unbeknownstto him, he had been heavily penalized in their byzantine admissions proceduresbecause, despite his sterling academic record, they didn’t find him outgoing or athleticenough.) His parents put him on the train to Philadelphia by himself, with afew suitcases, a map, and $50. He had no problems getting to the university,but was pretty overwhelmed right off the bat by the fact that everyone else wasolder and wealthier than him; he had dealt with this to some extent in high school, butnot to this degree (I headcanon his fictional alma mater, Francis Xavier HighSchool, as a typical Jesuit all-boys preparatory school that draws heavily fromupper-middle-class suburban families). Here he was, a literal child, thrustinto the adult world, and the world of the elites, at that. He probably feltself-conscious about things he hadn't even realized he could feelself-conscious about before, and spent at least a couple nights sobbing intohis pillow, and praying that his roommate couldn't hear him. He made a coupledesperate attempts to fit in, with a relatively low level of success (e.g. goingto a party and trying to impress people there by playing piano, only to get abeer spilled on him instead), before deciding it wasn't worth it and he wouldthrow himself singlemindedly into his classes and extracurriculars. He had hisfirst-ever panic attack sometime during his first semester, and wound up at thecampus doctor's office because he had convinced himself he was having a heart attack.On being told he was physically fine, he was indignant, but all the same, henever told his family about the incident, or anyone else either. Somewherearound this time, he also gets a letter from his parents, telling him he'sgoing to be a big brother in a few months, and won't this be exciting for him?(He wants to tell them his life is too exciting for him as it is, but saysnothing, instead writing back that he is sure having a younger sibling to helplook after will be the greatest experience of his life. He almost convinceshimself that he means it.)
unpopularopinion: I DON'T HATE CHUCK. (The most unpopular opinion of all!) He's myfavorite character on the show, with the obvious disclaimer that saying acharacter is my favorite doesn't mean I approve of all the character's actions,etc. Also, I know he's just a fictional character, but I'm still pissed offabout people celebrating that he killed himself & saying they hope it waspainful & stuff like that. Like, how much of an asshole do you have to be?What a horrible thing to say.
song Iassociate w/ him: Burning Down The House j/k, probably Faure's Sicilienne,because I too, cannot play it on piano without screwing up
fav picture: Not a picture, but I can’t resist.
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Text
Babylonia Section 15~Section 16
Day 2 of the queue with the turning point of the story is here! Definitely a challenging one since this is way before a certain class kicks to deal with Avenger class. Though they are one thing... Another enemy that shows up in the near end is another! Anyway, let’s start!
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Section 15
With Gilgamesh’s soul back to his body along with the people in Uruk, Ana welcomed us back... A new change of look? Guess she finally outgrown her fear of humans a little :)
Oh? Seems like everyone is rejoicing at the return of their king! Third return... Someone been into hell too much back and forth... Oh hey, the Gudas even their model done after saving the King’s soul!
Now that we left 2 days... Time to start the meeting against Gorgon’s attack. Siduri is making sure you’re finishing your work here so that’s a role of king for ya.
100k of hundred beasts marching towards the city tomorrow.. Half a day is given for us to enter Gorgon’s temple, so a limited time to finish her while Uruk is dealing with the beast. Ah, the axe has finally arrived as well! That should take care of the bounded field!
Expected of Quetz to be able to throw that giant axe! But the rules are still in effect by their alliance... That’s a nasty burn to you Gilgamesh from Quetz herself! She has a point of your missing golden armor from your archer counterpart. Good point, Doctor Roman, despite his behavior... It’s amazing how Ozzy and him got along
Oh Merlin will take care of the axe to the temple?! Seems like we need to sneak in there with Merlin... Hm? The red cloth? Guess it’s a way to grab the axe too from Quetz! One last repeat of the procedure, we’ll be facing the King once more for a final warm up battle!
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Geez... I’m thankful the EXP cards but no need for a fight! While Gilgamesh remains in Uruk, Kingu is really an opponent not to be underestimated since he has the grail...
With Merlin bidding farewell to Gilgamesh and us to the people in Uruk, we’ve got one last feast to enjoy before the decisive battle. And... An old lady... Because of Ana’s effort in helping the shop despite her condition... Even keeping her alive knowing what happened in the last 2 chapters previously...
A flower wreath for everyone in Chaldean Embassy... Damn it, I’m about to cry but not yet, because the feels are only the beginning!
One night rest later, time to head to the temple... Bidding farewell one last time to the gatekeeper. Damn Merlin! I don’t know if it’s illusion but that’s one carriage for everyone!
And of course the trip to Northen temple involves bandits trying to kill us all!
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One heck of a ride later, we arrived with all pieces of our body and soul intact. While everyone went to rest.... Looks like we meet up with Ana again, and a little more bonding with her. Also passing to her the flower wreath by the old lady to her... Ouch shit... Her grandchildren... And Ana for her grandchildren...
Seems like we meet Merlin along with Fou kicking his ass as usual. I picked the last one so it turns out he’s the one who sent Beddy back at Camelot Singularity. And well, we also get to learn a bit more about Merlin and his own views of humanity
The day has arrived with the beast finally invading Uruk... Time to head out to the blood fort!
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An hour passed since we fought, Kingu arrived with his army and heading to the Northen wall by Romani’s words. And at the same time there... They are trying their best to withhold the invasion as long as they could. Jaguar Warrior and Quetz engaged with Kingu in combat.... And shark-teeth faced is back!
Buying time to prevent Kingu from finding us, let’s head to the Cedar Forest!
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Looks like we arrived and...... I really wonder how Merlin raised his king at this point with that spell naming! And.... MERLIN THE BIGGEST FUCKING MORON COCK WIZARD OF ALL HISTORY, I’M SO GOING TO KILL YOU WHEN I GET TO AVALON FROM OUR DEATH!!!!!
.......... Bright side, the axe hits the gate..... Yeah Fou, let’s kick his ass after this. And crap, looks like Kingu is coming after us when we defeat Gorgon! I guess he and Gorgon shared something similar, Quetz?
Inside her lair... A demonic lair that really fits with cocoon for the next birth of demonic beasts.... Tch, damn it! At the face with her belly of the lair... She’s finally here!
No point in talking things out here, Mash. Considering by her legends and current motive... And Gorgon, as tempting as your roll is for tomorrow... I’m sticking with no. I’m not becoming your Master to destroy humanity!
And Ana... You’re... No, Medusa Lily... Are you sure? To fight with your older self... Another Shirou vs Archer fight from UBW with the stake of human history. Time to finish her once and for all!
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Unlimited defense only work AOE lasers like her! But definitely trying to outdo her curse damage the moment she fires her NP once!
Pretty much this is a solo Chloe fight with two Mash supporting her ^^;
Story wise, looks like Gorgon isn’t giving up till the end.... Wait Medusa!! Into the hole... And the last smile..... ANAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
............. Damn it... Both Ana and Gorgon died from a suicidal attack... Flower Wreath from a gift becomes an offering for her..... Wait, if Gorgon didn’t hold the grail with her.... Kingu! So he had the grail all this time, not only that... He’s ready for revenge without a doubt. And of course we’re not even happy we’re doing this! Tch... So no longer a Lancer but an Avenger like Gorgon...
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The worst one now without BB here to save the job. Especially RNG luck is praying he doesn’t charge his NP too quickly on this! Berserker still works but... Definitely still basing on RNG luck to deal with his unexpected NP charge!
Even after Gorgon’s defeat, the Singularity remains.... Woah what?! Space-time quake?!! MERLIN?! What... He... Merlin put the real Tiamat to sleep to prevent from awakening...?
As the seas turned black outside the lair, the skies turned dark... Okay, what the fuck DW?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT CREEPY LOOKING THING!?!?!! Damn and it’s killing everyone again!
Damn it Merlin stay with us! Merlin!! MERLIN!!!! ............. Damn it so the real Tiamat awaken but.... MEEEERRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
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Section 16
After escaping from there... Those things already invaded Persian Gulf by Romani’s words. Three hours before 20k of those reached Uruk...  Or 10k since the rest of the cities in Uruk has already been invaded
Merlin disappeared as Romani revealed... And died too since his true body was killed... Damn it after Gorgon’s death it awake her and killed him!
Reuniting with Quetz... Time to head back to Uruk quickly since those things are arriving faster than expected! And Merlin... Haish, one more trouble before his death.
In Ur, looks like they already began attacking... And turning them to their own kind! Benkei! Thank goodness he’s fine and thank god! Ur’s people is temporarily safe for now too. Huh? Benkei?! What the hell is that just now?!
Tch, even Uruk is on fire the moment we’re nearing! Okay you creepy little shits, now who wants a piece of me so you can stay away from the innocent people here!
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Yup... Who’s idea in DW that created this fucking thing! Buff removal is one, but defense down too really?!
I know it’s only fighting 3 times but.... WTF?!
Yup... Definitely endless at this rate! ...  OKay? They left? Well good thing, time for a breather to find Gilgamesh!
Definitely chaotic now with Gilgamesh trying to evacuate his people while fighting against those things... Seems like Gilgamesh knew about what happened too....
One report later... Solomon was the one who had brought forth Tiamat again huh...  Seems like the Evils of Humanity finally revealed here on this seventh Singularity and the purpose for the Grand Servants.
And those things... Okay fuck that, no adult stage please. This isn’t a pokemon isn’t it?! Lahmu who is Tiamat’s first child meaning mud of what they are... Well Ishtar, our Doctor may be an adorable goofball. But he does his job well! Gilgamesh on the other hand... Anyway!
Gilgamesh, where’s Siduri?
........... So, she got kidnapped by the Lahmu from the people she was protecting... I see why Gilgamesh refused to brought that up... BUT YOU FUCKING MORON! WE’RE GOING TO SAVE HER NO MATTER WHAT!! 
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And geez make up your mind, are we your people or what?
Late at night with Kingu... Seems like a certain King of Mages is here in a way to mess things up even more.... And yeah, seems like not only him, but Tiamat’s words and wishes are fishy at this point.
Another human killed before Kingu... Damn it, open yours eyes, Kingu! Tiamat and the Lahmus are really not to be trusted at this point!
I brought to you an important announcement that we’ll end here today. Fighting that disgusting thing questioned my sanity to finish this Singularity. Regardless, tomorrow will be another day with another post!
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iseethelives · 6 years
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Ode to Red
For the last night that we’re here and alive, remember everything. 
Bright lights on friday nights. Thoracic buzzing you’re gonna feel forever. 
E E GED  C  B
Burning eyes. Bloody hands. Ten hours, you’ve got five but that’s okay. You’ll survive. 
Rapid transit, blow up it’s lungs. 
Bad decisions, needed contusions. I did it all for myself. 
Too loud confessions, five more contentions. I was involved. We were all capable. They only let some of us through. 
And suddenly the nights spent in hell weren’t really that bad. 2016 was 1832, we screamed and we fought, misery sought. Is it beautiful to see something lose so well? To see the whole world collapse at your feet?
I collapsed on my knees, filled with conceit. They gave me their hopes and their wishes, I still carry them with me. I swear I’ll try not to waste them. 
I was a child and I was a mother, I breathed out a life and I left it to die. It will always be there, roaming the halls. Make me proud, make them proud. 
They were the buildings I saw in the skyline, they were the lives I prayed to encounter. Daisies and drag queens. God, I watched them all die. They burned and they fizzled, bottle rockets flying from a void to the glorious sun. Only the ashes survived. 
It’s so difficult to find gold in 1959. But I did. I dug it out from the Earth and by God, it blessed me. 
Goodnight diamonds, goodnight locked rooms of safety. The threat of a gun will scare me but the thought of the shot hitting another will destroy me. “It’s just a fire drill.” 
“Thank you” to everyone I owe. “Fuck off” to everyone I don’t. 
I’ll see you on the other side. I’ll see you when my sky turns black. 
I’ll remember all of it. 
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crystallized-iron · 6 years
Text
A Lie to Live Chapter Two
Masterlist Please Read the tag warnings in the Masterlist, thank you!
The apartment was empty when Steve got home. He wondered if he had missed Bucky while he was meeting members of the military after talking to Howard Stark and Abraham Erskine until the other man walked in. "Steve..." he heard.
Turning to him, Steve felt like he was ready for another fight. He could do this. "Bucky..."
"Did your... interview... go well?" Bucky asked him, clearly feeling uncomfortable.
"Yes, Buck, it did," Steve answered. "They already decided; I'm the one."
Bucky shook his head, a small chuckle escaping him. "Of course you are," he stated. "That would be just my luck."
"Seriously, Buck?"
"No, look, I can't stop you. I know that. But don't you dare expect me to be happy for you. I don't like it, Steve, your mother would hate it."
"Don't bring my mother into this, Bucky."
"Or what?" Bucky challenged. There were a few minutes of silence before he quietly said, "I'm sorry. That was..."
"Yeah..."
"I'm sorry... I just... It's really hard for me... seeing you so determined to do this..."
"I know..." Steve quietly told him.
After another brief pause, Bucky asked, "So... when's your... thing? Can I be there?"
"Tomorrow afternoon," Steve answered. "I'm not sure if they want spectators, though."
"I'm more than just a spectator," Bucky reminded him. "I'm your best friend, or so I thought."
"I know, Buck. Not sure they do," Steve said.
"I'll find a way," Bucky said, matter-of-factly. "Why the hell would I wanna miss my buddy's big day, huh?"
"It's not a wedding, Buck," Steve commented, but smiled when Bucky laughed. "I'm not even getting married to science, so don't worry."
"No, but... it is a big deal, right?"
"Yeah... it is. I'll be... someone completely different tomorrow."
Bucky walked over to him. "It's sort of like 'becoming a man', huh? If you believe that sort of thing."
"I guess." Steve looked around their small apartment. "Think we can afford going out tonight?"
Bucky grinned, throwing his arm around Steve's shoulders. "I think we can manage."
***** ***** *****
Howard and Abraham made the necessary preparations, but Steve still wondered how well this was going to go. While the two scientists discussed what else had to be done, Steve's eyes took in the room, his gaze eventually falling onto what looked to him like a leather collar, but fitted for something other than an animal. He wondered what it was for, but before he could even begin to question why it was there, Abraham was with him. "Are you ready, Steven?" the man asked him.
Steve nodded until he noticed Howard setting up a bed with leather straps. "Those are to...?"
"Protection," Abraham explained. "If you were to thrash about during the process, how else could we keep you safe? Not to mention everyone else as well."
"You expect it to get that bad?" Steve asked.
"You are our first; we don't quite know what to expect in terms of negative side effects."
"But you're confident about the positive ones?"
"Oh yes, very."
Steve looked around again, realizing, "There's only scientists in here."
"We decided no spectators," Howard remarked as he waited for Steve to get on the bed. "Safer this way, for everyone."
"I have a buddy that wanted to be here; he's military."
Abraham gestured to the bed while telling him, "Then even if we did allow an audience, he wouldn't be here anyway. There was a threat made against the city, so all troops are now on patrol."
"All of them?" Steve asked.
"Yes, all of them."
"Seems a bit odd," Steve commented. "A threat is definitely bad news, but having everyone on patrol because of it?"
"That was their decision, young man," said Howard. "Now come on."
Steve got on the bed, lying down. Howard strapped the leather restraints over him.
"Am I late to the party?" they heard Tony ask from the doorway. The teen strolled right in, looking Steve over. "I do not envy you."
"Tony, you know you're not supposed to be here," his father told him.
"Uh huh, and your point is? I think I have a right to know what's going on here, especially if I'm inheriting the company, and everything it's involved in." He stopped by Abraham. "So do you know if he's ever updated his will yet?"
"Tony," Howard interrupted before Abraham had time to respond. "Son, this is not the place."
"Never the right time or place, is it, dad?" Tony argued. "What the hell do I have to do to get an inheritance out of you?"
"Cut it out, kid," Steve spoke from the bed.
"Stay out of this, guinea pig."
"Anthony, you can argue with your father later," said Abraham, "but right now we need to get started. You can watch, but not too close, alright?"
Tony turned to his father. "Am I allowed to stay?" Howard sighed but gave him a nod. "Great, so I'll be over here then," the boy said, walking to the far wall and turning so he could see everything.
Abraham went to the table, filling vials with the so-called serum, which was apparently several different potions. Tony's eyes never left those bottles; he felt nauseous knowing that the magical properties came from gifted individuals like himself. How could his father do this? Howard knew that the gifted didn't need to be feared, they could survive peacefully with their talents.
Tony folded his arms over his chest, watching his father and Abraham direct the other scientists to all inject Steve with the serum at the same time. When he finally tore his eyes away from the sight, he made eye contact with Steve. The boy wondered if this man really believed his own statement from before; 'do you feel like this because... you are one?' If only he knew...
"Ready, gentlemen?" came Abraham's voice, breaking Tony out of his thoughts. "Begin... now."
All of those needles pierced Steve's skin at once, the man wincing over the many tiny pricks. Tony's breath caught in his throat. This could go very wrong. He silently prayed for Steve's safety through this. As nothing happened at first other than Steve's skin starting to pale and his body going scarily still, the scientists all started to panic, Tony's own father quickly going over notes to figure out just what went wrong. Tony ran up to Steve, checking his pulse. The serum had stopped his heart. The teen only vaguely heard what was being shouted before quickly yanking off his glove.
Howard didn't know his son's gift had evolved over the years. It had become quite the energy source. "Don't die on us," Tony whispered to Steve's unconscious form as a small bolt of electrical energy erupted from his palm. He shocked the man's chest, setting off a reaction with the magic inside, causing Steve's body to morph and grow. Tony jumped back, slipping his glove back on as he stared, the transformation not ending until Steve truly looked like a soldier, his figure taller and thick with muscle, the leather straps straining. Tony couldn't stop staring at him, murmuring, "Oh, fuck me..."
Abraham looked over as they heard Steve start breathing again, eyes widening as they took in the differences between Steve before and how he was now. "It worked."
Howard started at their accomplishment before looking at Tony, knowing he had something to do with Steve's survival.
Steve gazed up at them upon opening his eyes. "What... happened...?" he wondered.
"Almost lost you," Howard told him. "Good thing the serum took effect in the end."
Steve slowly nodded, carefully sitting up after the straps were undone, Howard noticing a faint burn mark on one of them. Steve looked at himself, seeing the difference in his body right away. No wonder his clothes were feeling tighter. "We'll get you a uniform right away," Abraham promised him, seeing how uncomfortable the man felt as the fabric stretched around him.
Tony's face turned red while he looked Steve over, not really sure what he was feeling. This was the same guy he was arguing with before? "I can get him a uniform," the teen volunteered, but his father pulled him to the side.
"Sorry, Erskine, but I have to deal with this boy," Howard stated, taking Tony out the door.
"We'll see you tomorrow then," Abraham called after them.
Tony allowed himself to get dragged along. "Okay, so I made a mistake by trying to save his life," he started. "I couldn't let him die, though."
"Tony, you could have gotten yourself found out," Howard hissed at him. "I'm trying to protect you, don't you see that?"
"Protect me from life? From actually being something?"
"Do you have any idea what would happen to you if people knew your secret, Tony?"
"I'd get arrested."
"You'd be executed!"
"And so will you, right?" the boy countered. "Is it really me you're worried about or is it just yourself at this point, dad? You don't leave me anything in your will, you barely talk to me unless you have to --"
Howard threw him outside before coming out after him. "Boy, I have work to do. I can't babysit you all the time. You'll be a man soon enough."
Tony glared at him. "I get that, but you're not --"
"I've been trying to come up with ways to help you, Tony. That's where my focus is."
"Oh gods, what a fucking lie that is," Tony groaned. "Is that why you're forcing people into magical enhancement? How is that supposed to help me, anyway? I don't quite understand that logic, dad."
Howard frustratingly shook his head with an exasperated sigh. "That... was a military request. We get our funding from them, son, you know that."
The teen rolled his eyes as he walked away, heading to the street. He knew it was no use arguing with Howard over all of this, so why did he keep trying? His father would never understand Tony's ideals, let alone lend his support. Even his best friend couldn't really understand how Tony felt.
Stopping beside him, Howard raised his arm to call a carriage over. "You'll learn eventually," the man promised his son, the chauffeur opening the door for them, "we do what we have to in order to keep the money coming. You'll need to sell yourself and your talents to get anywhere, Tony."
"Ugh, sure, nice talk, dad," the boy answered, climbing into the carriage, Howard getting in after him. The door shut once they were settled. "You know, maybe I don't want to inherit the company after all; too much dirty money."
"You won't be saying that forever, son." Tony rolled his eyes as he stared out the window. "You were so intent on inheriting Stark Industries, but now you don't want it because of military money?" his father asked him. "Where did you think the funding came from?"
"I --"
"You couldn't have been so stupid to not know it at all, son."
"Father --"
"Did you believe we just create it in the lab, boy?"
"Gods, father, no! Seriously? These are your true thoughts, aren't they? This is how you truly feel about me. This is why I don't get the company."
"Tony, you're being foolish. Act like a more realistic adult and maybe I will consider putting you in the will," Howard told him.
"You know what," Tony sighed, turning his eyes to his father as the carriage went on its way, "I have a feeling you never planned on giving me the company in the first place. Is it because of my... nature? Is that it? You don't want my hands corrupting your good name?"
"Tony, stop."
"Why should I? Isn't it true, father? Ever since my gift came about, you seem like you hate me! I swear, you do everything in your power to hold me back!"
"Son, stop! You're about to say something you'll regret, and I can't protect you then," Howard tried to warn him, knowing that the man guiding the horses was quite easily listening in on their whole conversation thanks to Tony's shouting.
Tony sighed his frustration. He hated needing to be careful, needing to hide his true nature. "No, father, let it be fucking known that I'm a freak. I use magic, dad, get used to it. I don't want to hide it anymore!"
The carriage came to a sudden stop as Tony finished. The fire burning in him quickly ran out as a cold realization hit. They were found out.
The man leading the carriage was gone in the blink of an eye just as the roof magically lifted away on a wave of red. "Tony, get out of here!" Howard shouted as members of the military were now visible once the roof was gone. The boy tried to rush out of the carriage, stumbling to the ground. He barely had enough time to get back to his feet and jump away from the metal blade swinging at him. Tony ran from the assailant, stopping when he heard his father's voice. He turned to see the soldier set his boot on Howard's chest to help him pull the dripping sword out of the man's stomach before slicing his throat. "Dad!" Tony cried, but there was nothing he could do. The soldier looked over at him as civilians screamed.
Tony stared back, only vaguely aware that the chaos of the moment was not limited to just them, men of the respectable army on a killing spree. He felt cold, frozen in place as the man marched forward. Tony started running again; he was going to escape!
"Ah!!"
He fell to the ground after being struck in the back. He hadn't realized that there had been another so close. Tony could feel his clothes dampening from the blood. He had to get up, had to fight back. Pulling off a glove, he conjured up enough electrical energy to zap the attacker in the chest, sending them down.
Tony gasped for breath as he shakily stood; the solder from before, the man that had just killed his father, was at him now, wildly swinging his sword at the boy. Tony managed to block with his arm for the first blow, but he wasn't a fighter, and the soldier's second swing slashed open his chest. The teen frantically held his bare hand in front of him as his gloved one covered the fresh wound, and he tried to back away. "B-back," he weakly stated to the soldier, "or I'll... k-k-kill you..." The man stopped following him a moment before he was hit again by yet another, the force knocking him to the ground.
This was it.
"Are you the one? Is this your trickery?" demanded the soldier that was now on him. Tony couldn't answer, could only stare back as he saw the fear growing in the young man's blue eyes, bright red glowing at the edges.
And everything was black.
***** ***** *****
Bucky licked his lips as he watched the street full of people. There had been a threat made on the city so he couldn't be with Steve on his 'big day', no matter how much he really wanted to be. He looked down at his hands, wondering if the smaller man was okay. Were they treating him right, like a person and not a science experiment? Bucky couldn't stop the worrying he was feeling, the fear that something would go very, very wrong. He couldn't lost Steve. He was all Bucky had left in the world.
"Hey," he heard, looking up from his perch on the stone wall to see Brock Rumlow. This man was in charge of their team. "You're getting distracted. We need everyone focused on the job at hand. If people get hurt because you were daydreaming, it's all on you."
"Won't happen, boss," Bucky sighed, turning his head to watch the people on the street once more. They heard the clopping of hooves nearing them. Bucky noticed Brock begin to tense until the carriage passed by, unbothered. "Do you know something, Rumlow?"
"You never know what could be hiding in one of those," the other murmured. "Could be a bomb... a user," he spat, "would be even worse than that."
"User, you mean like magic."
"Exactly, Barnes. You know how disgusting they are, right?"
Bucky didn't answer him.
Another carriage began to pass, but then halted in front of them. Bucky jumped to his feet just as a red cloud began to play at the edge of his vision. 'You have to fight', a woman's voice whispered to him. 'They need you... Fight... Defend your city like a good soldier.' He felt disoriented, his mind clouding. He needed to close his eyes; it was like he had just been drugged. "Rumlow...?" he heard himself asking, his own voice sounding so far away in his own ears. He didn't get a response, and as he opened his eyes, he quickly learned why.
An entire army had descended upon them. Shouting sounded like whispers, screams like a quiet hiss in the wind. "Dad!" he heard someone cry out, but wasn't sure where it was coming from. He took up his sword, fighting alongside his teammates. He could feel the blood splattering his face, the cold dampness after the warmth had gone.
'Kill them all.'
Bucky froze. There was an error in his vision. It wasn't just the red fog, but these men... His eyes were starting to see through the illusionary magic. Half of the men were growing more transparent while the others were trying to escape.
'You must kill them all!'
"Who are you?" he whispered to the voice's owner.
Someone ran past him; he wasn't going to be fooled, swinging his trusted blade and striking them down. He leapt onto the struggling person. "Are you the one?" he demanded, the tip of his blade at the person's throat. "Is this your trickery?"
The fog's effects began to falter further, reality and fantasy dancing together in his eyes, but he could tell enough now to realize his grave mistake. Underneath him was the young Stark, bloodied and critically injured, his body ravaged by deep wounds.
Bucky needed to focus. He quickly checked the young man's pulse; still alive, but that could change too soon. "Please don't die on me," Bucky told the youth, looking him over. There was too much blood to find the actual openings, and too many wounds to try to stop the bleeding. He had to move him now.
The red fog threatened a return, his body wanting to surrender to its effects, but Bucky fought it with everything in him. "Hey," came a voice beside him, and he saw... Brock? "I can get him to safety if you just hand him over to me."
"No," Bucky told the imposter. He could see through the fog enough to know that no, this was not Brock. Underneath the illusion was a silver-haired young man, very much unlike his darker-haired leader. "I'll get him help... you just... help out here." He quickly lifted the young Stark, looking at the chaos around them with fresher eyes, all of the injured civilians, but then he soon spotted Howard Stark on the ground, his bloodied form unmoving. Bucky had to swallow down the nausea that hit him. He and his team had been used for a hit on the Stark family, by magic users. These people had special gifts like himself, but they were proving society's stereotypical view on them right. Bucky had only joined his nation's military because he had no other choice except for medic, but he ran a higher risk of being found out then. It wasn't like he wanted to fight his own kind, but after this...
He carried the young Stark away from the bloodshed, protectively cradling his head, though he feared the teen would bleed out in his arms. Bucky's legs ached as they carried them through town. He wasn't sure who he could trust, who might be real or not, who wanted this young man dead or who wanted him to live. He ran them all the way to the nearest clinic, crashing through the door. "Help!" he shouted with his last breath before falling against the wall.
An older man, Bucky guessed him to be perhaps the head of the clinic, ran over, straightening his glasses as he looked over the young man in Bucky's arms. "What happened to him?" he wondered before a couple others hurried the gurney over. They moved the teen onto it and started rolling him out of the room while the older man turned to Bucky. "What do you know?" he asked him.
"His... his injuries... w-were caused by a... military blade," Bucky tried to quickly explain while trying to catch his breath.
"Why was he attacked by the military?"
"It was... a mistake...! I swear! W-we were... tricked by magic!" He needed to do something but he didn't know what, the sudden lack of activity leaving him anxious.
"Wait, a user did this?" Bucky was asked, the man sounding shocked. "But they only want --"
"Master Yinsen, you're needed now," one of the other medics called to him, tearing his attention away from Bucky as he followed them out of the room.
Once Bucky was alone, he realized just how numb he felt. They had tried to put an end to the Stark family by using the country's military as their tool for murder. He wondered if Brock was able to break through their magic like he had, what they could do to prevent this from happening again.
"Oh gods, Steve... what are we getting ourselves into?" he whispered. His best friend had joined the military to do good. He was changing himself forever to reach that goal he had. How would he feel when Bucky broke the news to him that the military would no longer have a good reputation amongst the people after they learned of Howard Stark's death? Bucky wasn't even sure if the man's son would survive this.
He stared over at the door that the medics had disappeared through with the young man's broken body. "Please live, Stark... Please..."
*** ~ *** ~ *** ~ *** ~ ***
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@seven-oomen * @sebisqueer * @radqueerdude
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reconditarmonia · 6 years
Text
Dear Every Woman Writer
Hello, lovely writer!
I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3 (and have been since LJ days, but my LJ is locked down and I only have a DW to see locked things).
General likes:
– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized.
– Loyalty kink, whether commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms, and the trust associated with it. Sometimes-but-not-always relatedly, idealism. I guess the two combined might be, in general, the idea of nobility of character and what that means.
– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.
– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff.
– Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.
– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.
– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.
– Eucatastrophe.
General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex.
Fandom: Far from the Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
Characters/Groups: Bathsheba Everdene
One thing that always sticks in my mind about this novel is the way Hardy calls Bathsheba “the young farmer” just as he refers to the men as farmers - which, just saying, is more than most people writing about this story can do - and so, that being the case, what I’m most interested in is something about Bathsheba as farmer. One day in the life or four seasons in the life or five plantings/harvests in the life, or pseudo-academic fic about a case study of a woman farmer in the Victorian era, or a conflict between the farm and nature that Bathsheba has to decide how to solve.
Feel free to bring in other characters if it suits what you’re trying to do, but what I’m really looking for is a focus on Bathsheba’s work, determination, and process of learning. I’d also love to read something like a merchant ship AU (as the first alternate setting that came to mind where it would be not exactly the done thing for her to captain her inherited ship and make commercial decisions herself - although I do have to point out that contrary to popular belief, there were a lot of women on shipboard in the age of sail, may this be useful - but also where nature and luck/fate are as influential as they are in the original setting), or something in which the land, superstition, and ritual were more overtly magical.
Fandom: Monstrous Regiment - Terry Pratchett
Characters/Groups: Polly "Ozzer" Perks & Jack Jackrum, Polly Perks & Maladict, Magda "Tonker" Halter & Tilda "Lofty" Tewt, Polly "Ozzer" Perks, Alice "Wazzer" Goom, Jack Jackrum, Mildred Froc
Give me all the loyalty kink for this fandom. Characters rescuing each other from peril, risking their reputation or position or ethics to defend each other, accomplishing the impossible or sacrificing things without even thinking twice because one trusts the other’s orders or judgment. Or A not going off the leash or into danger to defend B because B said not to, to protect A’s conscience or life or reputation. Can be romantic or platonic - I ship Polly/Mal and Tonker/Lofty, but I would also be delighted with Polly&Jackrum, Wazzer&Polly, or other non-romantic twosomes or moresomes in situations of loyalty and trust. Maybe Polly sends Mal on a dangerous mission, or Tonker is captured after she and Lofty burn down another place where women and girls are being abused, or Polly protects Jackrum’s secret/s from someone who could reveal them, or Wazzer ends up in the field again with the general’s retinue and Polly and Mal rescue her from danger (or vice versa!!). What strengths or sacrifices do they have at their disposal for each other?
Pratchett-esque voices would be great. He’s really, really good at sucker-punching the reader with sincerity in an overall satiric mode, and I think that style lends itself well to this sort of thing.
I’m not going to lie, Polly is my fave. I like that this could have been a generic coming-of-age or women-in-war story, where the protagonist learns that she’s brave or worthwhile and then the crisis is past, but instead Polly learns that she’s a cunning bastard and a hell of a sergeant, and being a one-off hero in a country that’s at peace and making slow social progress isn’t good enough for her. That said, just because I’m better able to articulate what I like about Polly doesn’t mean I’d be less excited for fic about anyone else! And I know that we might have matched on single characters, rather than groups, and that’s just fine. I think that’s something I’d want to explore for any of the characters who enlist in the course of the story - what are these women good at? What lets them fulfill their potential? What do they want when their hand isn’t being forced? I guess that for most of the regiment this would be post-canon and for Jackrum or Froc it’d be backstory. How’d Jackrum go from enlisting for Reasons to being the career sergeant of canon? What’s Froc’s relationship to the Duchess been like over the years, as someone who met her in person?
If you’re going the Polly/Mal route, I also love ludicrous levels of sexual tension in a military context (I think it’s the unavoidable proximity + the presence of others making it hard to act on it).
Fandom-specific DNW: vampire romance tropes (such as turning and/or immortality) as focus; non-female pronouns/headcanons.
Fandom: Original Work
Characters: Commissioned Officer & Non-Commissioned Officer, Female Re-Enactor Playing Male Soldier & Female Re-Enactor Playing Woman, Chaotic good Berserker & Officer she's absolutely loyal to, Crossdressing Fugitive Princess
Um, so, I’ve never requested original work before, but these are...certainly some options that play well with my general likes. Something that I also notice across these requests, other than the fact that most of them are military-related or otherwise have to do with clothing and/or women doing “man” stuff, is that there are a lot of options for exploring how characters with different skillsets and/or values play together. When there’s a problem to solve, especially in a high-risk and high-emotion situation, what happens when they don’t agree on what to do?
As far as setting goes, I think I’d been envisioning the CO & NCO and Berserker & Officer as taking place in a setting that’s removed from us in some way - whether that’s a fictionalized version of a historic military where women can be soldiers, actual historic settings where both are cross-dressing as men, total fantasy settings or future space settings. Likewise I imagine the Fugitive Princess might work better in a fictional or historical setting. The re-enactor pairing could be in our real present day in a way that might not work for the others, but it could equally well be future people or fantasy people!
Romance between any of these pairs, or between the Crossdressing Fugitive Princess and a female character - whether a rival or tyrant she’s a fugitive from, an old ally, someone new she meets while in disguise - is lovely :D (I neglected to officially DNW this so I suppose I could be screwed, but I don’t want het for these. I’m also less interested in, like, orc or goblin characters if you write a fantasy setting, but I didn’t think to DNW that either. :|)
Fandom: Simoun (Anime)
Characters: Neviril, Aaeru & Neviril, Paraietta, Rodoreamon, Mamiina
Simoun somehow ended up being a really weirdly meaningful show to me. I loved how all these women got to be flawed and fucked-up, noble and loyal. How, in the mold of all my favorite epic shoujo anime, it starts off beautiful and fine and then Shit Gets Very Real and that’s actually one of the themes of the show - we had a little debate on FFA as to whether or not Simoun was a military canon, and the fact that circumstances have remade a team of priestesses in fancy quarters and magic flying machines who are there to pray to God, put off their choice of sex, use their talents, maintain or claw their way into a social position, into a military force involved in a war - that’s an idea that the characters themselves struggle with in the show. (Neviril’s scene in the hearing is one of my favorites.) How everyone gets character development, in the sense of learning and changing, and even what seem like annoying mandatory straight subplots actually end up serving that thematic or character development, to say nothing of the more focal relationships between the leads (not just Neviril and Aeru, but also Mamiina and Rodoreamon, Neviril and Paraietta…)
I’d really like to read a fic where an individual character’s development or two characters’ relationship is similarly tied in to plot developments; it doesn’t have to be a plotty fic as such, but I was very interested in the way the developments of the war and the pilots/priestesses’ actions in it precipitated changes in their relationships. So how might Neviril and Aeru’s relationship develop in the other world (what are they doing?), or Mamiina and Rodoreamon’s on the Messis when they’re not the narrative focus before Mamiina’s last mission and the braid thing? (Or if this is more your speed, dig into that and see how a character grows or the relationship between characters develops when that’s not being moved along by outside events in the same way, especially if they’re aware of that being an issue. When Neviril and Aeru are outside the normal flow of time, or Paraietta ends up a civilian, for example.) I’m also interested in all the permutations of loyalty we see in the show - like loyalty to a position over loyalty to a side (as with the Plumbish priestesses’ siding with our Sibyllae), loyalty that develops before liking or friendship, the devoted loyalty to Neviril. I like the show’s military themes despite its magical-girl visuals. I think this is also a canon where it would make sense for sexual first times to be part of a fic - what does that mean for the characters you choose?
I should also say that due to all the magic and timespace warping in the show, I am more than okay with post-canon fic that gets characters back together who were separated by canon, if that’s what you want. You can resurrect Mamiina, or have Neviril and Aeru visit the main reality/timeline again. Or play with timespace even more - time loop fic?
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survivor-kuwait · 4 years
Text
Episode 16 - “Debbie was right. Never trust a god damn redhead” - Owen
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That tribal actually went better than I could have ever expected, even with Owen staying.  Owen definitely only had it set up to play his idol if an idol was played on Cullan, two idols burnt and one was def wasted by Cullan so now he doesn't have it to use later in the game if/when it inevitably comes time to start making hard decisions.  That play also drives Maynor/Timmy/Chips a little closer to me in that 6 person alliance which I absolutely need.  KAIT IS GONE!!!!!  Every round, every day she was buttering me up as jury management, I knew it, she knew it.  That is absolutely annoying, makes me want someone to win even less.  The reason I wanted Owen first was for the simple fact Kait would be more likely to try to work with me than Owen if she knew she was on the bottom.  Oh well, pretty good tribal for me all in all, everything turned up Ian.  
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Debbie was right. Never trust a god damn redhead. Me: omg Maynor so cute love my showmance Me: omg Timmy and I putting our shit in the past love him Maynor and Timmy: rihanna.winking.gif In a way I deserve it. I made myself heard these last few votes with pulling together alliances at merge and going after Devon and Ian and even the Venus thing. And I accidentally revealed in the chat that Kait found my idol. It made sense for them to take a shot, although not sure why me and not Kait and matt who are more likeable and powerful lmao Now I’m just like.... okay Devon and Ian got what they wanted which is gross? Timmy and Maynor gonna try to sell this as their move but as far as I’m concerned Devon and Ian own it. I’m sure they capitalized on touchy subjects to make me strong and them weak. Moving forward I just hope that now that Kait is gone there are bigger fish to fry.... I’m gonna get drunk and then deal with this tomorrow lmao Two rounds ago I was stressed choosing between my two closest allies. Now both of them are gone and I’m fucked 😂
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I’m shocked Owen knew to play his idol...I need to figure out how that happened. I am happy Kait left in the end though because that’s who I even said in the Ridiculous 6 chat but others wanted Owen and I didn’t feel like pushing too much because either going was fine to me. But 7-3 in the revote was spicy, I think it was Matt that flipped just to be in the majority for his piece of mind. Still don’t really trust him anymore because he’s a liar, but it is what it is. Should be interesting tomorrow when people have more time to talk.
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I guess i’ll make one before going to bed cuz Johnny asked. So this challenge was cute. The fishes though were very douchey. Tbh when Timmy told me Ian had 19 million when I had 9 million, I was like Im not winning. I also thought Cullan was going to beast this challenge and get like 100 million. I was shook to find out that I won. And I won the final 9 immunity which means I beat my Guyana placement which is amazing. Im so happy. Now I just need to get further in this game. But first need to see who will be voted out at tribal tomorrow night. No names have been said yet. More updates tomorrow, i promise.
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If Cullan's amateur hour costs me MY game for me.... then I guess I deserve it, alliance management is kind of my whole thing in these games. I try to make everyone I'm allied with to feel like I want to go to the top with them. I can fix this, I have too. Why the hell would you tell someone that 4 people already want to vote one way? Quit getting ahead of yourself, think of the future but focus on the round at hand. Single digits is a slow burn and every fucking step has to be precise. If I can manage to keep the "alliance" together Cullan just solidified why I want to sit with him in the end, he won't win.
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So I’m still recovering from the real life hangover and survivor hangover of losing Kait and having my little alliance blown into smithereens. I still do trust Maynor and Madison moving forward but I definitely feel there’s less room to hide. All I can really do at this moment is kind of get on board with voting Owen, which btw I wanted to do anyway eventually hehe. Not having kait makes me nervous but I definitely feel less tethered and more free to make moves moving forward and I hope one of them involved actually getting cullans ass out smh I’m telling you he’s gonna win.
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Odd day, not really sure what to do. I feel like doing Owen is predictable so I am exploring some options today. I am trying to see what is best for me going forward.  I think Owen Madison and Matt all have the jury votes at this point so getting them out may be good. But long term is that what is best for me, I don’t know. 
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I feel lost...like I know what both sides are doing but being in the middle has its drawbacks knowing that maynor and i are on the bottom of both sides then which sucks. I think the best move tonight is to get rid of Owen but who knows what implications that will end up having. Will be interesting.
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I had a dream I made a rlly funny confessional and then I woke up to find literally nobody has messaged me back except for Devon who is talking about god knows what I’m literally miserable without Kait. I thought that Maynor and Timmy would easily flip back to us and vote with me matt madison to break up the Devon Cullan Ian thing. But Maynor didn’t answer me all day and madison barely is. Timmy said ‘what moves are to be made’ ???? Matt at least came and told me Cullan said it was me and then told me Maynor and madison are in and they’re talking to timmy. Why are they talking to matt but not me??? It’s fucked up And then I yelled st Cullan and asked if he was just gonna let Devon and Ian drag him to the end and beat him and he was like ‘well I’ll vote them if there’s numbers’ lmao. Bitch idek god I’m tired of him asking me what the vote is all the time like GSKSHDB WHY DO U THINK I HAVE ANY CONTROL THIS ROUND I’m Absolutely about to lose my mind. I’m surprised it’s taken this long for me to snap but I legitimately can’t stand omg. Like I don’t even bother messaging chips or Ian lmao I don’t have anything to talk to them about I wish I could’ve won immunity. If I somehow stay tonight I need to figure something out 
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I think Owen is gonna get voted out and if that happens I’m done! But let’s pray chips is going bye bye.
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I’m absolutely pissed at Madison and Maynor. Why aren’t they fucking talking to me when they’re apparently telling matt they’ll do stuff???? What the fuck!? Matt is telling me Devon will apparently vote chips. Okay....? Like what do you want me to do or say? You have all the information rn because nobody will message me. I asked Matt if he thought we should still vote Ian and then if Devon rlly votes chips it would be 4-4-1 and I can use my tiebreaker. Matt was like ‘who would they vote I don’t want to make it too complicated’ I DONT KNOW WHO THEYD VOTE UR THE ONE TALKING TO THEM. I appreciate him trying to save me but it’s frustrayinf because I have no stability rn when they just ugh’nnn idk. Why hasn’t he made a group or some shit 
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The vote tonight is going to be Owen, most likely. But Matt Madison and Owen wants to do Chips. I dont know if thats a good move. Its better to have Owen gone since he is a huge threat in the game. I just feel bad about voting for him again.
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Alright, so here's a hot take of what's been going on with me and this game. Last round the goal was to vote out Owen because he's the biggest threat in a group of four that has been conspiring to control the game - the group is Owen, Kait, Madison, and Matt. The way I see the group breaking down is basically, Owen+Madison and Kait+Matt with each duo having a strong link between the four. A group of six formed to counter these four called the "Ridiculous Six" formed by Devon. It is my understanding that Devon was a "pawn" of the four before defecting after they tried to strike at Ian during the duos vote off. Since he felt "used" he defected and wanted to keep the four from keeping control in creating the group.
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The four had control of two hangers-on in the form of Timmy and Maynor that they were using for two extra votes. Since they would potentially have the numbers if those two were to vote with them they let loose a "plan" to vote out Devon when in reality telling those two that they would be voting Cullan in case of telegraphing to Devon to play his idol - Cullan actually had an idol and played it and I think it prompted Owen in playing his. To be honest, I think that Owen sent to his tribe chat that he would play his idol IF Cullan had an idol played on him or played one himself. So no votes counted and then we just went with our second choice in Kait to vote out of the game. She left.
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--
So the round following the vote seems pretty obvious to me, we need to try and vote out Owen. The group is scared to actually follow through on the vote because they think he will play an idol. I mean, if he does it's another idol burned and makes the vote easier. I know that that means we lose somebody but I dunno, if it were me getting voted out because of it I wouldn't be too pressed getting idoled out. Anyway, Cullan kinda let me know that there's a "secret" other plan to vote out Madison instead since she has a good social game, which I haven't seen. And also Matt is telling people to vote me instead to try and force a tie so that Owen can use his ACTUAL power that we know he has... I dunno man, if we end up voting out Madison instead (because they don't vote Owen) then I might be more flexible in what I do because Owen did that. And if I end up going then woohoo! That makes me 3/3 with getting ninth in a season in a row.
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Looks like Devon and I are the middle know. Apparently he wants to get rid of Chips cuz of this hero arc?!?!? Interesting so need to know how he is voting. This is somewhat getting messy between Chips and Owen. Im glad I have immunity.
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Ok this vote is SAUCY SAUCY SAUCY! The vote started with me wanting to target Madison as she is a social threat and has connections to maynor who would flip to their side (he already has). Chips became concerned that he wasn't being looped in on the vote so we decided to continue the push towards owen. Matt, madison, and maynor all agreed to vote for Owen but in reality they are voting for chips as that's the most viable option than can convince us to do as he is a "goat". He's a good ally so no way in hell am I voting him out. If owen and the gang survive this vote, they have majority and there will be a clear pecking order especially considering the fact he has a tiebreaker advantage. I feel confident in the five we have to vote for owen
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i think im leaving this is all just bad devon apparantly wants chips and it wasd too much to try this forcing a tie shit so now we're just goin with chips which hopefully is enough but someone told cullan it was chips???? lmao so thats fun and i tried convincing cullan to do it but idk this whole thing is kinda fucked up soooo bye bye 
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i wouldnt be so sad about this if kait were still here but there are literally so many personality-less people left in this game and if they get to the end ill literally die. madison and matt rlly about to be all i have left ro root for this is absolutely TRAGIC. imagine the first boot coming back into the game and getting dragged to the end as a goat fksadjfhjf GOD im so sad rn :((((((((((((((((((((((((((99 I WANTED TO DO SOMETHIN ICONIC IN THIS GAME BUT ALL I DID WAS FORGET TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND COMPLAIN at least ill prob win hq words
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tsaritza-mika · 7 years
Text
Muse - Special
So, this wasn’t originally gonna be part of these little AU blurbs, but I had been talking with @beta-sheratan a little bit ago, and decided to somehow work with what she wanted and make it fit into things ^--^
And before i get either people FAR more knowledgeable on the subject, or the legal fandom of Tumblr on my ass: I AM NOT WELL VERSED IN COURT STUFF!! XDDD yes, I was a security guard for like, 5-6 years, but I’ve never really been in a courtroom long enough to get any of this entirely correct, and I was NOT about to take anything from bits of movies or those ‘reality’ court shows seriously enough to pull from them. So please, please, please, PLEASE be gentle with me!!! XDDD
I just wanted something sweet and uplifting and showing Alex being as awesome as she is!! Anyway, enough of my rambling! Enjoy! <3
Nicolas watched with a frown as Alex took another deep breath, her steps slowing slightly as they neared the court house. They had both received letters a few days prior about needing to be present for her ex boyfriend Barry’s court hearing, and it was obvious that needing to think back on her time with him had been weighing heavily on her shoulders. She really had been through a lot while she’d been with him, and the last time she’d seen him had been back when Nicolas had nearly beaten him senseless for his actions. Frowning at seeing her so withdrawn, he set a hand on her shoulder, frowning at the attempt at a smile he was given back.
Still, to see her even standing out there in the parking lot said more than enough for those that knew her. Connie would text or email frequently whenever it seemed as though she was either having trouble in some way, or she had found Alex huddled in her room, trapped in her memories of when he’d terrified or beaten her. Even just knowing those times still happened made him wish he could beat the shit out of him all over again. She never told anyone many details about those times, but just seeing the fear on her face and how badly she shook from the trauma was enough to leave him seething. Alex had made a lot of progress, but demons like hers could hardly be so easily dismissed, regardless of how hard one fought.
Well, you almost had me fooled Told me that I was nothing without you Oh, and after everything you've done I can thank you for how strong I have become
Going up the steps and checking in with her, Nicolas took her hand as they waited on a bench in front of the assigned courtroom, his frown deepening as he felt her trembling. It seemed like forever before the bailiff waved for them to go inside, taking a seat near the jury stand. It was a small gathering of people sitting in there, but without knowing any of them, he wasn’t about to assume any of them would think very kindly of Alex. These things were often painted ridiculously, making it seem as if it was somehow the victim’s fault that everything happened rather than someone just being a disgusting piece of shit.
After a few minutes, he and Alex stood when told as the judge came in, glancing sidelong at her when he felt her tense as they asked Barry to come in with his security escort. Still, she kept up a strong front, her expression looking far colder than he knew her to be for anyone. Watching carefully at the woman who had been provided by the court to relay things in sign language, he was able to more easily follow along what all was happening, giving Alex a nod when she was called  up to take the bench.
'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is I wish you farewell
“Ms. Benedetto, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help your God?”
“Yes sir.”
“Thank you. Now, would you please describe what happened to you while you were involved with Mr. Abbott?”
“Y-yes, sir.” She took a deep breath, her hands kept folded tightly in her lap as she fought against the urge to cry and hide from the man sitting not far from her in the courtroom. “At first, when we met, he had been nice...a real gentleman. Then, he would get angry when I went out with friends, yelling and throwing things around. I had to let him know when I was just going out for work, and even then it...he was so angry with me...”
“Can you describe a time he was especially violent toward you, or did things never go beyond these kinds of acts?”
“No, they...he’d hit me. Hitting me, yelling at me when I, I thought I hadn’t done anything worth that kind of anger. And, a few times, he... he drugged me, and I’d wake up, other men I hadn’t, ever seen or met before would be... But I couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything to, to fight back...”
I hope you're somewhere praying, praying I hope your soul is changing, changing I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, praying
“And are able to recall how many times Mr. Abbott did these things?”
“I...by the end, I don’t know exactly. There, didn’t seem to really be any rhyme or reason to any of it-” Alex flinched when she heard the screech of the hardwood chair Barry sat in on the tile as he moved to try interrupting her, his lawyer speaking in strong, hushed tones to get him to be quiet and not do or say anything more damning.
“Ms. Benedetto, considering your claim of being drugged by Mr. Abbott, are you certain these things actually happened?
“Eh, what do you mean?”
“Well, many psychedelic drugs can have very...convincing, hallucinations. So it wouldn’t be far fetched if what you say you experienced would have simply been fabricated by taking them-”
“...why, why would I just...make any of this up?”
“Well there has been precedence for some women to claim, often outlandish and cruel things of their former partners in order to get some sort of satisfaction for the emotional pain caused during a breakup...”
I'm proud of who I am No more monsters, I can breathe again And you said that I was done Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come
Alex stared at the man with disbelief, glancing over and seeing her anger and frustration reflected in how Nicolas was sitting. “I don’t know who you think you are, trying to make it sound like I would just make all of this up because of something as trivial as a ‘bad breakup’!” Pointing directly at where Barry sat, Alex let her anger show, her eyes flashing coldly with a tight frown. “That...man, sitting right there, beat me, left me scared for my life multiple times, drugged and allowed strange men to rape me, and then attempted to ‘teach me a lesson’ in public while I was at my former place of employment! Everyone there saw what he was trying to do, and none of your damn accusations of myself or other women can ever change that!”
“Ms. Benedetto, please calm down-”
“Your honor, I will be calm when I’m not dismissed simply by having been born with ovaries!”
'Cause I can make it on my own And I don't need you, I found a strength I've never known I've been thrown out, I've been burned, I'll bring thunder, I'll bring rain When I'm finished, they won't even know your name
You brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is I wish you farewell
Unable to help from laughing at that, Nicolas chuckled deep in his throat at how fiery she could be at times, and thankfully this time it had been more than warranted. The defender was an asshole defending an asshole. Watching as Alex was allowed to step down, he nodded when the older woman up front caught his attention and signed that he should step up.
[Mr. Brown, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?]
[Sure.] Sitting down, the woman who was there to sign for him let him know she was there if he needed clarification for anything said, taking a seat where she could see everything and could be seen.
“Now, Mr. Brown...you assaulted my client.”
[Only disappointed that someone stopped me.]
“...ah, y-yes, well... Um, can you please, explain why you did this?”
Nicolas raised a brow at the ridiculous question, surprised that the man would actually ask such a stupid thing. [You’re kidding right?]
“Uh, no... Why did you act against Mr. Abbott in such a way?”
[Wouldn’t you if you saw a friend being roughly handled and obviously scared of threats of violence?]
“W-well, you certainly could have tried, speaking to him first?”
[In case you didn’t notice, assholes like him don’t really know when to shut the fuck up.]
“Mr. Brown, please watch your language. This is a court of law...”
[Oh shit, sorry.] Smirking at how frustrated the man was, soon after Nicolas was also asked to step down, taking his seat next to Alex again and leaning back. Watching as they heard from Barry and the jury went to go and deliberate the outcome, he glanced over at Alex when she tugged at his sleeve.
[Thank you, for being with me today.]
[No problem. You put up a good show too you know.]
[I hate that man so much right now...]
[I have a big chunk of clay back at my place. Wanna take out some frustration on it after this?]
[...you know, I think I’d like that. Thank you, Nicolas.]
I hope you're somewhere praying, praying I hope your soul is changing, changing I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, praying
It seemed like forever before the jury came back in and took a seat again, a young-looking man handing over their decision to the judge as they all settled. “Mr. Abbott, please stand.” Alex held her breath as he did as he was ordered, gripping a loose part of Nic’s sleeve again to keep herself seeming stronger than she felt.
“Mr. Abbott, it is the unanimous decision of this court, that you are guilty of all charges presented against you. You will be sentenced to a length of ten years, eight of which will not be eligible for parole. During your incarceration, you will receive counseling to aid in your rehabilitation for when you are ready to re-enter society. Court is adjourned.”
Alex let out a breath she hadn’t known she had been holding at the final verdict, glad that for at least eight years, there was no chance of her ever running back into Barry again. Standing as the judge left and the bailiff came over to escort Barry back to his cell to await transport to prison, she wore a hard expression despite her trembling hands as he passed by. “Good luck when I get out of there bitch...”
“Keep it moving Abbott.”
Watching sidelong as Barry was taken toward the door near the back of the courtroom, Alex felt her anger boil up, quick steps taking her over as her heels clicked loudly on the wood floors. Waiting for Barry to turn his attention back to her, she simply stood there, a deep frown on her face and carrying herself tall. “You may spend the next ten years and more thinking about me Barry, but this is the last time I’ll waste anymore of my life thinking about you.”
Oh, sometimes, I pray for you at night Oh, someday, maybe you'll see the light Oh, some say, in life you gonna get what you give But some things, only God can forgive
Not even waiting to see his response, Alex turned and stepped back behind the low wall to the benches where Nicolas waited for her. Managing a smile toward him, she took his offered hand and walked back outside, her spirits slowly lifting as they got back outside and into the sunlight. The wait for the bus was quiet, a light breeze blowing down the street and gently moving her hair over her shoulders. Reaching out to move it from her face, Alex leaned over and set her head on Nic’s shoulder, finally feeling free and more optimistic than she ever had in a long time.
I hope you're somewhere praying, praying I hope your soul is changing, changing I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, praying
Arriving back at Nicolas’ apartment, he kept his word, letting the two of them work on destroying and reconstructing a large brick of clay on a pedestal in his studio. While at first it had been more to blow off stress and repressed steam from the unavoidable court appointment, the longer she tore away and packed back on, shaped and reshaped again, Alex began to genuinely smile again. It was good to see that same smile that had first captivated him back on her face. The light shining in those bright blue eyes, hair falling around her face and over her shoulders as she moved and played with the clay.
Watching as she carefully moved some hair from falling in her eyes, he paused as she did the same for him, leaning slightly into her light touch despite the clay rubbing off her fingers. Staying still as she came forward, he let his eyes close as she pressed soft lips against his, hands settling on her hips and gripping lightly. Smiling back at her when she pulled back, he let her have some room, watching as she brought up her hands in the small space between them. [Can I stay with you tonight?]
[Okay.]
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greenflamedwriter · 3 years
Text
First Draft. Part One
Thinking back on it now, lance has never made any good decisions in all of his life. Falling from heaven, was not on his to do list.
He fumbled around like a newly born deer, unable to walk unable to communicate, and there were so many rules he needed to know to survive, he thought other fallen angels would help him.
But they cast him aside.
Lance didn’t understand it at first, the sneers and glances they gave him. Until he heard others gossip thinking he couldn’t hear them.
“He choose this! No one wanted to fall for something as stupid as he did.”
Oh.
He began to ignore them and kept to himself at first it was fine.
That was until the hunger started.
The raw hunger was new, it burned him from the inside out, he had no idea how to stop it. He knew he craved something, anything !
Eating human food helped for a while but it didn’t take away the pain.
Then one day he saw a demon, and he was...handsome. Not that Lance cared about that sort of thing, but he was someone that made Lance breath stutter and freeze in his tracks.
His human side that was.
Lance could tell he was a demon, just by his scent, his mannerisms, but what he truly looked like Lance figured he would never know. His every instinct told Lance not to get involved to go the other way and avoid him.
Then Lance’s eyes trailed to the woman hanging of the demons arm, tugging him playfully towards somewhere.
Lance’s feet moved on their own, curiosity dragged him from heaven before, why not follow it further?
The demon took her home and Lance watched from the rooftop of another street, perched on the edge like a gargoyle.
He saw the two going into her room he presumed, he waited for the demon to pounce and wondered if he’d be witnessing a murder.
What happened...was not what he was expecting.
The demons warm smile, that even gave Lance butterflies, changed and even the hungry look in his eye was indescribable.
Both the demon and human started taking of their clothes, Lance gasped and covered his eyes. An Angel- no wait, ex-angel- Couldn’t watch this, he’s never seen this before. He’s heard of it, it was the main reason why most angels fell in the first place.
But he’d never, oh my god- he was going to hell! Lance’s heart beat thumped against his chest like a twittering bird.
He peeked through his fingers feeling his heart sky rocket as he saw in full detail what this demon was doing. Oh god he could still see his face, until the demon looked up their eyes locked.
Lance gasped and fell backwards, falling off of the ledge and onto the rooftop. He groaned more than winded until he realised what happened and crawled over the wall covering his mouth.
He saw him! Now Lance was full out panicking, what the hell was he going to do?
“What are you doing here!?”
A voice growled behind him, Lance all but screamed and whipped around, his white wings fluttering behind him. The demon flew above him with a beat of his bat like wings he landed before the angel.
His yellow eyes scrunched into a snarl, his horns haphazard and broken, unlike Lance’s halo that was still intact.
Lance was petrified.
“Kid, I don’t actually enjoy voyeurism so you tell me what was…” The demon paused as it took in Lance’s wings, still white and halo still intact except for that tell tale hairline fracture at the centre.
Shiro reached out and grabbed his wing, Lance panicked trying to move back and his other wing spasmed his body reacting at the danger, his thoughts only screaming red-alarms.
He’s going to rip my wings off!
“Keep still.” Lance stopped instantly, biting his cheek to stop himself from crying.
The demons eyes dragged from his wings, as some feathers molted to the floor, to his face.
“When did you fall?” The demon asked, Lance was unsure of answering until he saw the flex of fingers on his wing and gasped out “A-A few months ago.”
The demon drew back, slowly letting for of his wings, the angel gave a sigh of relief. Until the other spoke.
“And how long have you been starving yourself?”
Lance eyes flickered, starving?
He asked those sentiments himself, the demon only growled and lunged forward. Lance cried out about to fall over the side of the rooftop, about to eat concrete-
- Then his whole world snapped to a stop.
As lips crashed onto his, Lance was too stunned to move. Until he felt a tongue probe forwards and slip into his mouth he gasped, and the demon slotted forward keeping him still by gripping his wings.
Lance buckled trying to shift, until he felt something warm travel down his throat and he gasped, as that long simmering burn he once felt in his stomach diminished like a cold bucket of water.
The demon pulled back “That, is what you need to feed. The essence of humans, make them pray for you, believe in you- fear you or...the most simplest way is to have carnal relations with them and draw out their essence.”
Lance was too busy being shocked that he was just kissed...by a demon.
“Why did no one tell you this?”
Lance looked up at the demon still processing, until he realised what he said “I....maybe it’s because I didn’t really fall, like….like they did.”
The demon crossed his arms “Really? I doubt it’s that different to the others, let me guess you missed your old life and wished to return.” Lance shook his head.
“You had tempting sinful thoughts-”
“God no!”
Lance didn’t have to tell him, but the demon felt less...horrible than the others, and this was the first time anyone had talked to him. Lance was going out of his mind being unseen by the others and ignored. Call him a little desperate.
“I fell in love, okay? I know it’s stupid as soon as I fell down here she died. I’m stuck and she’s gone and it’s pathetic. The others wanted nothing to do with me, that I actively choose this while they feel cheated.”
The demon said nothing and Lance started playing with his wings, the demon gave a tut and grabbed his arm.
“Wh- What are you-”
“Shut up, you should be grateful that I’m taking you under my wing.” Lance gaped and tried to look at him properly “And I’m supposed to follow you?I don’t even know who you are-”
The demon looked back with a smirk “My name is Kuro, there. Not strangers...”
.....Years Later....
Lance was on his own, looking seriously at a poster chart for a space program.
He might as well right? He was practically immortal, better to start now than never.
He glanced at the poster and gaped “That son of a bitch.”
Right there looking like a ray of sunshine was Kuro, he was a senior cadet and already had missions in space already.
Lance grit his teeth together. he thought he was done with that demon. But no matter what Lance did he couldn't escape him!
He was calling himself Shiro now (White? HAH!) He was acting like some goody two shoe poster boy and Lance saw through that act like clear glass.
He knew why the demon was doing it though, Shiro was looking for alternate ways to feed, humans weren’t stupid. They were becoming more aware of them, demons and fallen angels. Although they did call their kind vampires, some sort of superstition at least.
Still better safe than sorry, not to mention the surplus population the ratio of humans to their kind was not enough.
It was better to look for alternate food sources while they could.
Lance though, he wanted to return back to the stars. He knew heaven wouldn't take him back but…just a touch of his outstretched fingers would be enough.
Although knowing Shiro was here made him almost reconsider.
But… being on earth...alone. He fell for a reason to stay on Earth with the one he loved. But now he would do anything to get away from the reminder.
Then Shiro got lost in space, and Lance well- he cackled like an idiot. He didn't mean to it was just, Kuro finally goes in space ister big bad I'm going to fix the food shortage problem and ends up vanishing like a fucking idiot.
Lance laughed, then got punched by Keith Kogane.
He wasn't laughing now, at least he took Keiths spot as a fighter pilot. But it didn't feel earned even the flight instructors got in his face about it.
Lance held back on so many choice words, he was an angel for crying out loud he could suck everyone in this room dry till they were crumpled corpses.
But if he said that outloud you gotta believe everyone would take that wrong.
Later that night, feeling antsy and starving he convinced Hunk to go to the next town other to meet some girls.
Then he spotted Pidge.
And curiosity got the best of him yet again, he needed to stop following that thing but what was the worst that could happen?
He followed Pidge onto the roof where a meteor landed right outside of their base. Weird coincidence but whatever.
Then Pidge hacked into their video feeds.
“Is it the aliens? Oh God they came here so quick.”
It turned out to be Shiro strapped to a table.
God why couldn’t he escape him!?
They all agree to save Shiro not until another player joins the field, and it happens to be Keith.
Could this day get any more better?
He followed Keith into the make shift tent and watched as the kid pulled down his mask and tilt Shiro's face.
"Shiro?"
Then Lance saw it, Keith's devotion- and understand why he punched Lance before.
And something ugly twisted inside of Lance's chest.
"Uh-uh, Oh no. I'm saving Shiro!" Lance said forcefully pushing the table out of the way and grabbing Shiro's...robotic arm?
The fuck did this guy even do in space?
"Who are you?"
Lance raised an eyebrow, was this guy serious?
Well guess you can't remember everyone you punch.
"Uh, Guys?" Hunk called out worried "I think we have company."
"Ah shit."
They managed to avoid the garrison, and death from Keith's reckless driving and made it to his shack in one piece.
Lance collapsed onto his couch, welp there goes the space program. He could probably try again in a couple of years when the garrison forget all about him.
Keith growled "Help me!" Lance flinched and saw Keith drag Shiro towards a door, maybe the bedroom?
"You look like you have it covered buddy."
"Get the fucking door!" Keith yelled his voice pitching, Shiro must be heavier than he thought.
Lance took his time in opening the door and Keith huffed, there was a bed that Keith placed him on once Shiro was settled did Keith go towards the closet and grab some clothes.
Lance glanced at Shiro and frowned, the white streak in his hair was new, and the scar across his nose....
did Lance feel bad for him...?
Nah! Of course not, Shiro was unkillable. He was like Samuel Jackson in hitmans body guard.
Still it was taking a while so Lance took a step back "I'll leave you to it, he'll probably get spooked if there's more than one person in here."
Keith just grunted and Lance just sighed and left the room, shutting the door with a slam, after walking out into the hallway he heard Pidge and Hunk.
"The Anaesthetic should be wearing off soon." Pidge said, still typing on her computer.
"I know but it's taking so long- the garrison is going to kill us Pidge, and the aliens? Are they here, I'm freaking out."
Lance grimaced and stepped inside "Hunk, it'll be fine. Once Shiro wakes up everything will be all sorted out. All we have to do is wait."
Waiting turned into an hour....then a few more minutes. In that time Hunk was looking at Keiths wall and announced he could find Voltron with a geiter meter. He has just now finished it.
Having nothing left to do, Lance walked towards the bedroom to tell Keith the good news.
They should at least prepare until Shiro wakes up.
Lance opened the door “Hey Keith-” He stopped to see both Shiro and Keith making out, Lance should’ve figured, Shiro was starving for...who knows how long. It still pissed him off though.
The two stopped startled and looked at him in surprise, Lance beamed.
"Lance get out!" Keith squeaked, Lance couldn’t help it his smile spread further.
"Oho! I'm sorry," He dodged a flying shoe still smiling like a chesire cat "But Hunk has that geiter meter finished,"
Keith's paused "Wait, really- Shiro C'mon!"
Keith ran past them grabbing his shoe along the way, Lance leaned against the door frame with a smirk.
Shiro scowled, and grabbed his shirt pulling on the sleeves and doing up his jacket.
"You did that on purpose," he prowled forward making Lance look up.
“So what if I did?”
Shiro took a breath then exhaled resigned, "Lance, about where we left things off...." He was going to apologise, Lance couldn't believe it. There was no way.
"I wish I had left sooner."
Lance gave a slow blink "What?"
Shiro shrugged, still blissfully unaware "I think taking you under my wing,"
Taking? More like grooming.
"Was okay, but I think just knowing me instead of branching of to the others is why we resent each other."
wrong, so so wrong.
"Thanks for saving me, but Keith and I can handle this, so you could just go back to the garrison-”
"Fuck you Kuro."
Shiro stopped talking and finally looked at Lance who was visibly shaking "When they said you vanished you know what I thought? Thank god."
Sure he wished Shiro was lost in space he didn't want the guy dead though, he didn't have to know that.
"I saved you since you helped me back there, so you have nothing to hold over me. But don't start acting like a guardian now especially with how much you fawn over your god damn precious golden boy-"
"Lance-"
"Save it. We're finding this Voltron and reporting back to the garrison and then I am done with you." Lance turned around then whipped back around pointing at Shiro.
"I wanted to leave Earth to get rid of my demons."
Shiro's eyes widened in hurt, Lance walked back towards the sitting room where Hunk and Pidge were suspiciously quiet he glanced at Keith and almost flinched when the others eyes flashed at his.
What was his problem?
Shiro came out of the room looking sour and drained, oh yeah he was hungry and was about to use Keith as a meal. Lance's smirk grew, serves him right.
End of Chapter one
_____________________________________________________________
Angel Dialouge.
_Kuro opened the door to his (now shared) apartment and paused when he looked up. He still wasn't used to the sight.
Lance likes heights to remind himself how he had never fallen."
"Admiring the view?"
"I like the height, it's almost like I..."
"Oh, how was your day?"
"Better,"
-Kisses Lance This wasn't a permanent arrangment, once Lance figured it out himself he'll leave. And Kuro can continue on like normal.
"Scoot over."
"T-thank you
"You're welcome
"Do you want to fly with me?
You do still remember?" He asked.
"Well duh, You do realise you're looking at the fastest flyer in Celestia?" "Uh I mean-"
"Well if you're that good, you're going to have to prove it."
"I don't have to prove anything- You'll be so shocked you'll fly into a billboard."
“Hey Lance, mind if we talk a minute?”
“Lance, I can’t keep talking care of you like a mama bird that feeds her chick.”
“Lance, do you want to come with me, and see how I feed?” Lance blinked then flushed “H-How you feed?”
“No. No- I’m not ready.” Kuro’s face fell and Lance stood up walking away.
“I can’t-”
“Would others help?” Kuro asked and Lance blinked “Others?”
“I mean other fallen angels, to show you how it’s done.” Lance stared and Kuro waited a beat then held his hands up “Lance, I don’t see any other way-”
“I will- I’ll watch...I do want to learn.” And Kuro smiled and Lance had to beam at him as well.
“Kuro? Hey I’m sorry for-”
There was no one there.
“Kuro?”
He opened the door and froze eyes wide as he inhaled sharply.
“Lance,”
“I can’t do this.”
He had to leave. Now.
“Lance? Lance wait-” He felt his arm being grabbed and let himself be pulled.
“Lance? You said you wanted to learn-”
“Yeah to watch- as in you had no part in it and now you’re- you’re having...intercourse with angels something that doesn’t benefit you.”
“Lance, it’s okay for angels and demons to have sex,”
“Yeah but I- nevermind. Look thanks Kuro, but I’m still not ready for this world yet.”
“You can’t just,”
“Apparate towards heaven?”
“It’s not called Heaven- it’s Celestia.”
“And I can’t go back, I know that I’ll figure something out.”
“You’re leaving?”
“Yes. Thank you Kuro for everything, once I figure everything out-”
“No.” Lance flailed at the sudden dark tone from Kuro.
“N-No?”
“You’re not going anywhere.”
-Lance thought it was impossible to fall further into this abyss called hell-
They said hell was an internal flame with burned wretched souls, but Lance never believed in that Hell, no this was stone cold, ice glaziers striking his heart and wearing him down with the weight.
Kuro brought another angel over. Kinkade.
“Out for a flight.”
“Maybe Kinkade could join us?”
He was enraptured with Kuro’s flying. How strong it was, powerful and beautiful, like a shark coming to sweep you up from below.
Lance had no ides he’d been engulphed long ago.
But then Kinkade flew towards Kuro and Lance felt his heart clench.
None of the other angels fell into Kuro’s trap, it was as if they were all playing a game, and Lance was too stupid to know how to play it.
(At least they got closer) a traitorous voice told him (They get to touch him, have him in a way you’ll never have.)
Lance let his wings beat one final time before he plummeted his eyes slipping shut.
Falling brought him into this mess, maybe the second time might kill him.
All Lance did was fall in love, why was this punishment?
Before he could hit the ground the sound escaping his ears he felt something tug against him harshly and he cried out as he went the other way shooting into the sky, he cried out scrambling against the thing that had him and was flying higher into the sky. Lance almost stopped breathing he didn’t have to as they shot upwards breaking past the smoky clouds.
Lance blinked as they escaped the clouds and reached higher as he looked down to see Earth's atmosphere.
The line between the blue of the earth glowing and almost swallowed by the black of space.
Lance eyes widened tears springing to his eyes.
His hand outstretched as if he could touch it, the earth the clouds the stars in the sky and further and further.
What he used to see at Celestials gates.
He looked up and saw Kuro holding him in his arms with a murderous look on his face. Lance blanched leaning further away.
“Want to go back to Celestial so badly?” He asked his words scaching and almost blending in with the vast space behind him.
Kuro was like a black hole that was sucking Lance in and if he got too close, he’ll rip him apart.
“Then fly there yourself.”
His hands slowly let go and Lance gasped as he plummeted. Too weak to even beat his wings never mind trying to fly back to that place that unreachable place that is not only closed off by the length of space but by physical limitations too.
Lance screamed as he fell flashes to the first time, he was as scared as he was now.
His wings beating uselessly against him and Lance turned to see the Earth greeting him, welcoming him in with it’s gravitational embrace.
It wasn’t comforting.
Lance was screaming so much he couldn’t breathe.
He stopped just as quickly still panting, gulping in large gasps of air and heard Kinkade laugh.
“Did you see his face, Kuro?” Lance’s face scrunched in confusion. Until he heard the beat of the bat like wings attached to a chuckling demon.
Lance pushed Kinkade away, that was it. He’d had enough.
Watching the angels getting closer to Kuro while he could barely get a finger's breadth, he felt Kuro fly towards him his hand reaching out.
“Lance?”
He touched his shoulder then screamed as he ripped his arm back as if he’d been burned.
Lance skin was smoldering with smoke as if he was burning, he turned face scrunched into a snarl his eyes glowing bright light with an angelic scorn.
Kuro forgot, Lance fell recently and unlike him who was surviving from humans or Kinkade who barely had any left. They forgot the remaining Grace that Lance had.
And he looked like an avenging Angel smiting those that disobeyed his beliefs.
They forgot for a moment and felt fear as Lance screamed a shockwave bellowed out, the clouds rolling grey and a thunderous roar bringing down the rain.
Kuro and Kinkade fell back crashing to the earth their wings ripped from the sheer impact, Lance collapsed onto the pavement his feet barely holding him up as smoke waved of his body and his own wings ripped from the impact.
His still looked Murderous.
“If you try to find me again, Kuro. I’ll kill you.” Lance slowly stood straighter the light dimming from his eyes. “Consider that a warning.”
Kuro was barely able to hold his conscious as he watched Lance turn around in the rain his wings dragging behind him, Kuro blacked out.
And once he awoke, Lance was gone. Missing, and Kuro frantically searched for him everywhere in the city but he couldn’t find him either because Lance knew how to hide from him or worse….Lance was dead.
-He will never fly again, the ripped out crystals won’t affect his flight after food he’ll be as good as new…wait..-
“Um, excuse me?”
“Um, are you okay?”
“No, I...I was kicked out of my home, as you do.”
“Kicked out in this rain? That just won’t do, come on. Let’s get you out of this freezing cold.”
“Fine.”
_Guy lunges and kisses lance and lance accidently sucks out his soul-
“I did it- I didn’t even have to go the whole way!”
“Hey! What’s going on over there!”
"Oh, he tried to hassle me then he just collapsed.”
“I’ll call an ambulance,”
“You may need to give a statement.”
-Gives Lance his jacket in the rain-
“Sorry, you look cold.”
“Do you have a place to stay?”
“Um, no...my friend uh, kicked me out.”
“What? That douche, I uh, I know this is creepy but I do need a roommate, I work full day shifts and my dog is always alone.”
“If it’s no bother-”
“No bother at all, oh I didn’t get your name.”
“The names Lance.”
The man chuckled “I’m Ryou,”
If Kuro was an angel, he guessed this is what he would look like, Lance figured. There was loads of differences with the two, the whole lack of demon aura for one was comforting. Lance drew the coat closer to himself and smiled. He just hoped he wasn’t another creep like Kuro, or the other stranger on the floor but at least.
Lance smiled slow and cunning, he could take care of himself.
-Pods open to reveal Allura falling out.-
“Who are you?”
“I-I uh,”
-Lance overloaded on altean energy-
“Who are you, how did you get into the castle!”
“Whoa- let him go we are not the enemies here!”
-Lance wobbles away-
“Are you okay?”
“Back off.”
-Allura give her hologram lions to each of them.
“What, a handsome gifted pilot that's ever existed? I get it."
“Ahem, the black lion requires a leader someone who is focused where everyone will follow them.”
“Shiro, You will be the Black Paladin.”
“Oh fuck off.”
-Others stare-
“What? Why is Shiro the leader? He was taken by the galra he could be brainwashed for all we know.”
-fight sentry and misses shot-
“You were too slow.”
-Fumes when Allura agree's with him-
-Mind meld-
“Visualise in your mind your most important memory.”
“Pidge stop thinking of your girlfriend!”
“I’m not it’s Lance!”
“Hey I wasn’t thinking of my-”
“Plus it wasn’t me it was Pidge!"
“I’m just- I’m just tired
“Okay, we’ll take a break.”
“So, who was she anyway. You never mentioned a girlfriend at the garrison and I pegged you for the bragging type, she looked cute.”
“Hunk, not now.”
“Well we’re taking a break I mean, she looked latino, a sister I don’t know-”
“Hunk- Back off !”
“I’m sorry Hunk,” “I’m just uh, going to look for Coran.”
“What was his problem?”
“I don’t know, did I say something wrong?”
“He was probably stressed from the training, but still that doesn’t mean he takes it out on you.”
“Her name was Penolope.”
“She died. Before Lance could even tell her how he felt, he fell for her and she died. I know you meant well Hunk but Penelope is a bit of a sore spot for him.”
“I...I didn’t know.” Shiro nodded “He’s not open about it,”
“Was this when…?”
-Lance wasn’t talking to Hunk. Hunk wasn’t talking to Lance.-
“Look, I’m sorry to snap at you if you’re mad at me I get it-”
“Whoa whoa- What?” Hunk cried out looking alarmed and even Lance flinched surprised.
“Wait- I thought you were mad at me !”
“What? Why would I be mad at you? I was the one who was being an inconsiderate jerk.”
“You were avoiding me?”
“What no- I tried to give you some room I thought you hated me!”
“Of course I don’t hate you-you're Hunk. You’re like the nicest person here! I would never hate you.”
-They make up-
“If you guys are treating me like glass because of what you know I’ll stop speaking to all of you.”
“Look, I’m sorry.”
“I know it’s my fault that we can’t form Voltron I hadn’t been honest about myself,”
“Nonsense, trusting each other is the key not knowing each other’s secrets. Just trust each other blind faith! That’ll get it done!.”
“Which we can’t do when someone is purposely being an ass.” (Keith)
“And that’s not the reason why we can’t form Voltron. You hate Shiro and that’s why we’re not moving. We’re on a planet like sitting ducks out here waiting to be killed by the Galra all because you can’t just man up and get over this stupid fight with Shiro.”
“I hate Shiro. There happy now, And I doubt those feelings would change. Even if you guys tell me that I have to man up to work with you all but honestly? There’s nothing keeping me here.”
“I can leave if I damn near want to. If it’s that or make nice with Shiro I know where I’m going.”
“Lance! You can’t just abandon this fight! You have an obligation as the Blue Paladin-”
“You can do it then, if you’re that interested.”
“Believe me, all I’ve ever wanted was to be a pilot to Voltron. To make Zarkon pay for everything he’s done and I won’t let a human destroy the last hope to save the universe.”
“Oh, you won’t let me? so you’re going to force me to be a paladin then what’s next? force Voltron to save the world, Force it to make the Galra pay for what they did to you and the alteans and put them through what they went through?”
“That sounds like dictatorship and you’ll be just as bad as the Galra.”
“Lance!”
-others flinch at Shiro's tone-
“I’ve been in the arena, I had to fight other prisoners to the death to survive and when they had enough they made us fight their champion a monster that was too strong for any of us and they died . Civilians that did not ask for this and imagine that they learn we could've saved them but didn’t because one member was too selfish and cowardly to do anything about it.”
“This is bigger than you or me, lives are on the line here and you can take that hate you feel for me and cram it. Use it to help us to form Voltron and think of it this way. The quicker we form Voltron the quicker you and I can be on different sides of the galaxy as far away from each other.”
“And plus
“You still owe me from all those years ago, I didn’t have to take you under my wing.”
“You can leave if you want Lance, but that doesn’t mean we’ll hold it lightly."
“Look, my feelings aren’t going to magically disappear overnight. And not only do I have the right to have second thoughts, I’m allowed. We were on earth and now your asking us to risk our lives for a cause we have no part in?”
“No, here me out first. None of us have spoke about this, I bet Pidge had ideas of coming out here in the first place."
“Don’t drag me into this.”
“But it’s true, and you Hunk, do you want to die in space, never seeing your family again?”
“Enough!”
“They are allowed to know! We’re just kids! And believe me I’m not running away. I’ve honestly got nothing better to do. But none of you asked us if we’re okay with this.”
“He has a point.”
“Hunk!”
“I get what you’re saying but I miss my family and I want to go home like is that an option?”
-hits grenade-
“Lance just- dived in front of Rover, like steve rogers on the grenade in captain America!”
“Hunk,”
“Oh god what’s happening.”
“it’s the Galra, that’s what happens when we stay planet side for so long.”
“And our crystal was destroyed. We can’t power the ship, we’re defencless princess.”
“We need another crystal, luckily Corans grandfather made a back-up chamber.”
“But with no power to activate it, that chamber is radioactive.”
“How else can we get it out then?”
“The Paladin suits were upgraded to withstand any environment, space and radiation you’ll have to go to a decontamination chamber but you will have to remain there until the ship is up and running.”
“Why do I feel like your asking me to do it.”
“Hunk that is final. Pidge Keith, you have to stop any intruders to getting to this point, it is the main control panel and the galra would take over the ship and take the lions with them.”
“And Shiro, we need to take Lance to the medical bay."
“Medical bay?”
“It has it’s own solar crystal. It hasn’t been affected by the blackout, come we don’t have time.”
“In here.”
“Quickly, we don’t have time, remove his clothes.”
“uh what-”
“No everything , the pod will place him in medical suiting without disturbing the wound.”
“He’s going to be okay, two days in the pod and he’ll make a full recovery.” Shiro wished he could believe that especially at the blood seeping through the white suit the Pod put him in.
“How? He was exposed to a grenade. That would’ve killed him.”
“Not with Altean technology, we can treat anything. Shiro this is why I brought you here, with the Galra threat we need someone to watch over Lance.”
“Of Course I’ll stay here, what are you and Coran going to do.”
“We’re going to help Hunk hook up the crystal and re-activate the castle. I’ll assisted Coran. Keep your cons on and don’t for any circumstance abandon this room until we give the all clear.”
“Are you an idiot or something!?”
“No wonder you hate me, any normal person would let go.”
“But I’m selfish,”
“I wish we could start over, I wish I knew what to fix this. But I don’t know…”
“Champion, I know Zarkon will be pleased to have all the lions and his champion back in his empire.”
“As if I’ll roll over for you.”
“The galra gave me an upgrade as well.”
“Want to see what it does?”
“What!?”
“Yes-”
“Lance?”
“Shiro!”
Only to freeze as Lance fired a warning shot taking a step back against Shiro.
“Stay right there!”
“Lance?”
“Kuro- What the hell is even going on, and who the heck are those guys...what’s with the weird outfits?”
“Lance, what was the last thing you remembered?”
“He was let out the pod too early, his memories must have been affected.”
“My memories?”
“Lance, we’re friends all of us.”
“So how much am I forgetting?”
“Well the fact that you’re glued to Shiro right now? That’s alot.”
“What? Why would me being next to...wait Shiro?”
“When did that happen?”
Lance reached out his finger almost about to touch the bridge of Shiro’s nose until he paused.
“Sorry, I- Sorry,”
“Everything was fuzzy there for a second.”
“It’s fine, why you were let out early is- oh my Altea you should get back in, you’re wounds a probably…”
“The Galra let me out but I think I’m okay? Maybe it works differently on humans.”
“Lance, if you want to leave Voltron it’s okay.”
“Shiro!”
“I don’t want you to go, but it’s your choice. The others won’t give you a hard time I just,"
“I don’t want to force you to stay with me this time. I know I screwed up and if there’s anything to make up for it I will.”
“W-well fine. God if I left you guys all of you would be in pieces all over the control room."
"..."
"Too soon?"
“Dude I’m a leg!”
“That’s awesome man!”
“Alright team,”
“Time for some battle formations.”
“Shiro?”
He was starving. Lance stood on wobbly legs, his door opened with a silent whoosh he walked towards Allura's room one hand on the door, the neon lights reflected his shadow and in turn the hidden wings.
Lance eyes caught the reflection and his breath hitched. Instead of the transparent crystal like wings he grew up with- he saw leathery bat like wings in his silouette.
Lance fell backwards scrubbing at his eyes to see his shadow the same. Just him, wingless.
Before he could even think of stepping inside the alarms began to blare overhead, Lance scowled. Just typical, he began to run towards the hanger then backtracked once he saw Shiro leaving Keiths room.
Both looked haggard while running towards the doors while pulling on their armour.
Lance almost ran into the wall.
Oh- So that’s why he couldn’t find Shiro last night. Lance scowled and began to walk towards his room grabbing his armour. That was just typical.
“If the Galra attacked we would be dead!”
“Been there, done that.”
“And you should be even more vigilant!”
“I almost died which makes me even more tired. I think I’m allowed a small break?”
“Fine.”
“Seriously, you okay?”
“Uh yeah- I’m fine,”
“Uh, are you okay?”
“Not really, I wish I had more time to mentally prepare.”
“Well I guess you can’t ever prepare yourself, I mean your the type that over thinks things and freaks out.”
“Yeah,”
“But honestly, you’ve been doing fine so far, I mean out of everyone you looked like you adjusted well.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, the first mind meld you were thinking about food,”
“Yeah well when I’m nervous I think about food, or stressed it’s uh my comfort.”
“Remember the time we pranked Iverson at the garrison?”
“With clarity.”
“You were freaking out so much, we were almost caught you know.”
“What Prank with iverson?”
“Remember that time Iverson was locked inside the classroom and no one opened the door for him- not even the teachers?”
“That was you?”
“I heard a student hacked into the system and unearthed lots of dirt on Iverson and uploaded it on youtube.” Lance fist pumped “Kudo’s to that guy- he’s our hero!”
“It’s a distress signal.”
“What if it’s a trap?”
“There are thousands of distress signals caused by the galra, if we start saving them maybe we’ll gain allies.”
“I think it’s worth a shot, if it falls down to a fight we can handle it.”
“Is there any objections?” Allura asked at last and Lance felt himself grow irritated, too late we’re already there!
“We came as soon as we heard your distress signal,”
“Distress signal- oh that- that was a trap?”
“For the Galra! We always trap the Galra and integrate them to tell other rebellions what to look out for.”
“This whole planet is actually a ship-”
“Rolo, how should we even trust them.”
“We’re the paladins of Voltron,” Nyma raised an eyebrow.
“Isn’t that supposed to be a myth?”
“We’re as real as they come.”
“This ship is just the entrance,”
“No way you can control the whole planet!”
“Yep, wouldn’t it be suspicious for Galra to go missing all the time? They’d have to investigate the same coordinates they were located, it’s a shame that the planet disappeared though.”
“That’s a cool trick.”
“Well if the Galra are dumb enough not to catch on the better for us,”
“What exactly do you guys even do?”
“So what do you do around here?”
“I run maintenance, Beezer navigations and Rolo is the pilot,”
“Oh that sounds like my team, Hunk is our maintenance guy and Pidge is our navigations and I’m the pilot.”
“Oh I could tell, you act so confident
“Yep, you have to be to lead a team on a dangerous exhibition-”
“Hey, you’re a paladin of Voltron, right?”
“Uh yeah,”
“So you have a lion, right?”
“Right what was not to get- oh.”
“We’re going for a flight!”
“Lance wait-”
“Oh let them go. Nyma has been cooped up in here for a while.”
“Hey You said this planet was used as a trap to lure people inside and then gruel them for information.”
“Since we’re inside the planet right now, how do we know you’re not tricking us the same way?”
“What? There’s more of you than of us,”
“These camera’s should be recording what is happening on the planet right?”
“Hunk- there’s no need for these accusations.”
“No he’s right, Lance just left- but...he’s not on the screen.”
“What?”
“What?”
“Someone’s sabotaged the camera’s- Beezer!”
Hunk flushed “Oh my god dude I’m so sorry-”
“It’s fine, Nyma must of changed the screens for some privacy, now I’m embarrassed.”
“Hey, want to try something?”
“Uh sure-”
“What-”
“Sorry Lance, The Galra promised me if I gave them a lion they would let my team go, you understand right?”
“It’s a shame I really liked you-”
“What did you do to her!”
“She tied me up and was about to take the blue lion, she made a deal with the galra."
“What- you’d really think we’d do that?”
“The cameras were faulty and you even said Nyma must have done it. That was the perfect chance to take the blue lion.”
“Nyma could be dead for all I know, how do I know you’re Paladin didn’t kill her!?”
“She’ll be fine, once she wakes up we’ll ask what happened.”
“How can we even trust them after what just happened,”
“How can we trust you!?”
“It was true I was trying to steal the blue lion.”
“What?”
“Nyma- Voltron is our last hope, the only thing that could stop the Galra and you almost sabotaged that?”
“They gave me a deal, the Galra’s technology are advancing you have noticed that they can find us much quicker than usual, they’re catching on to us Rolo, I don’t think we can last long.”
“But we can help,”
“If we have your trust, then trust that we can help you. We’ll stop the Galra from their rein if other Rebellions like you can help us.”
“But if you betray us, the Galra will be the worst of your concerns
“Wow that makes us sound just as bad- no she meant we’ll just leave you alone, because you know it takes two to tango and trust isn’t a one way street.”
“Listen, we don’t necessarily trust you, how can we? You might not even be voltron.”
“Really? Did you miss the memo with the freakin space lions out side?”
“Don’t patronise me.”
“Fine, we have connections to other Rebellions, the Gaia clan and Orion and the Bulmarans.” he shook Allura’s hand.
“I hope we can become allies.”
“Likewise.”
“Careful-”
“Get off, I can walk okay by myself.”
“Your welcome?”
“Lance- did I...do something to offend you in some way?”
“Oh no we are not doing this!”
“Now would be the best time, just us two. You can tell me if I did anything- I said sorry for keeping you, I should’ve let you go- be your own person and learn things on your own-”
“Kuro.”
“I wanted to stay with you, I- I was alone and no one even looked at me...except you.”
“The other demons and angels ,” Lance’s eyes narrowed “Didn’t like me, you know why?”
“You fell in love and choose to go to earth to be with Penelope...Why?”
“The angels hated me, Shiro. They would tease me, shove me off buildings to fall a second time and the worst one was Adam
“Adam- no, Adam was really nice he agreed to help you remember? To learn how to-”
“Have sex.”
“Thought it was odd, how much Adam liked helping you- like all the time, especially when I was involved. He loved to rub it in because he knew- all the angels knew so I thought you were all conspiring against one another or something.”
“Lance- what are you talking about.”
“Lance- we should go and find the lions. Now .”
“I hate Coran.”
“Me too...What’re you laughing at?”
“Nothing...Grandpa.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re looking a little grey and wrinkly there.” Shiro squinted at him then looked offended “That’s my scar you ass!”
“Is it? I just think it’s one big ass wrinkle that’s what it is.”
“You fucking show off..."
“Don’t-"
"Wha?"
“Please don’t do that- we’re okay one minute and then you just, shut off. I know you do it, and I said I was sorry- and I do mean it Lance to whatever I did that made you upset I apologise.”
“Shiro I can’t forgive you, I might not ever forgive you.”
“But that doesn’t mean we can’t get along right?”
“Let’s go, we must be further away from the lions.”
“Alright.”
“Wait-”
________________________________________________________________________________
Shiro tensed waiting for the other shoe to drop, Lance followed the smell, it….it strangely smelled like a barbeque?
He pushed back the vines as he neared closer and outright gaped as he pulled back a large leaf.
It was the village.
“Are you freakin kidding me?”
Pidge was there, and they were stroking a raptor- an honest to god raptor turned with a smile “Lance, Shiro you made it!” Did they walk into another dimension or something?
Hunk even appeared and yep- he was holding the barbeque ribs Lance was smelling.
“You guys took so long, so Coran sent us down to see if you were okay?”
They heard Coran before they saw him “Ah so you were taking the scenic route? I’m not surprised this planet is beautiful.”
Lance could only stare at them “We lived jurassic park Coran, we almost died three times !”
Coran waved them off as he was stroking a raptor that had a blue streak and flickering eyes “You must of scared them.”
“ We scared them !?” Lance loved Coran at the best of time, but there were moments (Like this one) When Lance just wanted to strangle the guy.
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