#fuck coco chanel

[weaver-z]

Will never forget seeing a collection of books about women who were famous writers and artists that was being sold as a gift set for young girls, because the collection included Audrey Hepburn, Anne Frank, Maya Angelou, Frida Kahlo, and Coco Chanel.

#if you don't understand this post just look up coco chanel. seriously. #antisemitism / #fuck coco chanel

[porcelain-rob0t]

girl i fucking hate coco chanel so much

#fuck coco chanel

[njetrendafil]

NOT THE N@ZI 😭😭😭😭😭

#fuck coco chanel #lisia talks

[ni-cii]

🥥

#me #follow me #beautiful photos #sexy #hot #city #deseo #onlyf@nz #natural titts #hot as fuck #ask #coco chanel #blanquita #latin girls

[pride-of-storm]

cats are So Little

no wonder she doesn't know how far is too far to leave her taco

my casual reach is as long as her absolute stretch

and if i lean i double it

no wonder she drops her taco, less than a stretch away from my center of self, and Waits

my reach is not infinite, she knows, but it is longer than hers

#i feel like three rounds of revision will make this poetry #but that's not gonna happen so you're getting it as is #storm's posts #personal #relevant context: my cats have a toy shaped like a fish taco #and they both like to play fetch #polaris tag #coco tag #fuck coco chanel she is coco bc she's brown and hairy and a Nut #more photogenic than a coconut tho #it is so easy to get flattering photos of coco but absofuckinlutely Impossible to get a good picture of po #this is my bad i bought a nice camera with the specific priority of fucking around with settings until i could get a good picture of po #and have never gotten around to figuring it out :/ #i should set up some more flattering backdrops where she likes hanging out so it feels worth the effort #this is about po bc she's the one around rn while i'm drinking mead lmao #but the text does apply to coco in every aspect #they're So Little of course they don't understand!!!!!

[duchessofostergotlands]

My sense of style can be summed up with the phrase “I only work in black. And sometimes very very dark grey.” And I enjoy telling people that because it sounds like one of those cliched quotes from Coco Chanel or Audrey Hepburn but was in fact said by Lego Batman

#lego batman #the lego movie #fashion #style #aesthetic #coco chanel #audrey hepburn #I mean fuck Chanel #non royal #personal

[alketaire]

finally watching the inaccuracy dessert (I Fact-Checked The Worst Video Essayist on YouTube by Todd in the Shadows) to hbomb's plagiarism meat and jheesus fhucking chhrist it's beyond fucking belief. like i'm c-tier at best on the list of "people who go out of their way to engage with queer media" and this fucker, positioning himself as a serious queer theory media analyst, blithered lies and "gay nazis" conspiracy theories so absolutely ridiculous that i swore out loud.

"i want to hold your hand was controversial for PDA reasons" absolutely the fuck not, talk to 1 boomer???

"straight women hate acknowledging gay sex is real" absolutely the fuck not, talk to 1 straight woman??????

"gaiman's renown as a writer started with gomens" oh now you've declared fucking war on every gen x nerd and goth and gay?????????

thank you to my family for teaching me to be media literate enough that this shit infuriates me

#i am going to ragebuy a sandman compendium istfg. #editing in the tags as i go now bc my ex-academic ass is SO MAD #the 'nazi body standards' shit. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CLOSEST CASE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT COCO CHANEL (who is in hell i hope) WHICH MEANS NO! #'svelte attractive germans' FUCKING- THEY WERE JUST AS IF NOT MORE STARVED THAN EVERYBODY ELSE YOU AHISTORICAL SNOTFUCK #'only the boring gays lived' okay actually a horrible human being. all sympathy withdrawn. fuck you and whoever made you this way. #fran leibowitz thinks you're a complete shmuck for extrapolating her opera snark to all queers. #don't forget the DEAFENING sinophobia via whole cloth fabricated figures #'pirates funded public good' jesse what the fuck are you talking about.jpg #'an era where the english were tossing around homophobic slurs but not at pirates' what. in the fuck. are you fucking talking about. jesse. #'janelle monae came out bc nobody believed pynk had anything to do with vaginas' ARE YOU DELIBERATELY OBTUSE. #'no hating but still' oh i'm fucking hating you sack of lies #'peasants were paranoid about vampires' even if you're talking about witches YOU'RE STILL MASSIVELY HYPERBOLIZING #'from and anthropolo-' eat my anthropological shit you're presenting literary/political analysis as physical science now??? #oh my GOD the reductive fucking sweeping generalizations of international theatre and esp kabuki i want to claw my eyes out #'hepburn flatly refused to believe gay people existed' WHY WOULD YOU LIE ABOUT THIS SO BLATANTLY DO YOU KNOW WHO SHE *WAS*??? #WHY DOES HE KEEP CITING SHITTY HEADCANONS FOR JK FUCKING ROWLING

[transprince]

I am simply unimmune to wearing another trinket disease

#fuck coco chanel's nazi ass and her “take something off before you leave the house” bullshit #im wearing nothing but statement pieces

[beforethepoison]

#fuck capitalism #influencers #brazilian influencers #shitty #chanel shitty #chanel #we love coco

[yourbrat]

this smells SO good.

#I don’t even give a fuck about Chanel honestly #but it must be said #smells gewwwwd #not as potent as the original or the intense oil based ones #and the water one doesn’t smell like much imo #coco #chanel #night #scents #perfume #its pricey tho #wont lie #cheaper at sephora tho #sephora #parfum

[omgthatdress]

the major takeaway from last night is that Karl Lagerfeld was more of a personality than a designer and that Yves Saint Laurent was the clear winner of that rivalry.

For those who aren’t familiar, Karl Lagerfeld and Yves Saint Laurent were both fashion wunderkinds who emerged in the late 1950s, both appointed heads of major brands at the same time, and had very intense rivalry. Yves Saint Laurent took over Dior after the passing of Christian Dior, helped cement the brand as a major player in fashion, and then after a disastrous stint being drafted into the French army, built his own fashion brand that went down in history with its unique and diverse and always evolving looks.

Karl was always kind of behind Yves. He designed for a lot of major fashion brands, and managed to establish himself at the top of the game at Chloé, but he didn’t get his full on legendary status until he took over Chanel in 1983. This history of the Chanel brand was already pretty frought, with Coco Chanel modernizing and defining the fashion of the 1920s and 30s, but being forced to shut down during World War 2, during which she collaborated with the Nazis. Behind the Bastards did a pretty great two episodes on her. When the brand returned in the 60s, fashion had changed tremendously. Dior, Givenchy, Balenciaga, and Balmain had all taken over mid-century fashion, and now that aesthetic was being taken over by mod, the miniskirt, and the likes of Mary Quant, Pierre Cardin, and Paco Rabanne. So when Chanel came back it was largely seen as a stuffy old lady brand, which it remained until Karl took it over.

Now, this is where Karl actually did something really impressive that you honestly can’t take away from him: he took a fashion house in severe decline, one that had been in its flop era for literal decades, and he made it hip again, while still managing to stay true to the ethos that Coco Chanel had laid out.

Chanel is clean, minimalistic, and classy. It is easy to wear, effortless, and always extremely glamorous, which is what made it so iconic in the 20s and 30s. Given that the 50s and 60s were all about making a fucking effort, the thing that the brand managed to keep doing well was its suits. You know what kind of suits I’m talking about. Tweed jackets and midi skirts, neat tailoring, delicate pastel colors, pearls and camellias and chains. It’s not so much that it was edgy and exciting but it was expensive and it was *Chanel* and people wore it for the status symbol alone. That is what Karl took advantage of and managed to re-invent.

That sort of aesthetic fit perfectly into the you-can-never-be-too-rich-or-too-skinny 80s, when wearing status symbol clothing was everything.

Then, in the 90s, he managed to keep things exciting by following exactly what was on-trend at the time and incorporating elements of street wear and hip-hop.

However, after that, he kind of lost his edge and just rested on “it’s Chanel” rather than actually pushing the fashion envelope. By the time he died in 2019, he was a fucking dinosaur and fashion had long since moved past him. The thing that he was ultimately most well known for was his own very distinctive look and flamboyant personality.

Before I ever started studying fashion, I knew who Karl was because I’d seen him so many times, and I’d seen parodies of him so many times. I knew *him* but I didn’t really know his work. And I think having an incredibly boring Met Gala dedicated to him reveals that: his actual artistic legacy is skinnier than the models he used to berate. Karl Lagerfeld built his brand on his diva personality, and that sort of personality and outlook just isn’t hip anymore. Fashion is always about moving forward, and Lagerfeld’s beliefs should remain fossilized in the past.

#Karl Lagerfeld #Met Gala

[m0llygunn]

underdressed (eddie munson x fem!reader)

continuation of coco chanel (can be read as a stand alone but makes more sense with the first part)

summary: following coco chanel’s infamous rule of taking one thing off before leaving the house, Eddie is left feeling desperately needy for you.

contents: 18+! mature language, porn with (some) plot, smut, allusions to semi-public male masturbation, oral (f receiving), p in v sex (unprotected), creampie, pet names, eddie being desperate a/n: coco chanel is rolling in her grave im so very sorry please forgive me wc: 4k

“Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.” “It is always better to be underdressed.” -Coco Chanel

Handsy. That’s the best way you could describe how Eddie’s been the whole night. 

Hands on your waist, hands on your hips, hands slipping under the hem of your dress. 

You’ve gone without underwear before, but you suppose Eddie’s never been so blatantly aware of it until the night’s over. Starting the night with this knowledge has Eddie permanently feeling you up for your lack of underwear, over and under your dress.

Fingertips trailing up the hem of your dress, grazing the crease where your thighs meet the flesh of your ass, dancing as high and as close to your core as he can before you stop him out of courtesy for the people around you. It’s been the same thing on repeat, over and over, him trying to feel his way into getting you to go home.

When that doesn’t work, his head is permanently pressed to your neck whispering whatever he can to convince you.

“Baby, let’s go. We have to go,” he whispered into your ear at one point. When you continued talking to a friend, he pressed his hips into yours from behind, making you blatantly aware of his issue at hand. It wasn’t shocking though, he started the night with an erection and it’s been on and off since—mostly on though, and pressed firmly against your ass. 

Another point in the night, his hips pressed to yours, he was whispering every single word he has on reserve just for you in a desperate attempt to get you home. “Feel how hard my cock is for you, baby?” he grumbled into your ear, forearms snaking around your waist, pulling you even further into him. “Can't wait to sink into your pretty pussy, make you feel so good. You want that?” he groaned, pressing his lips just under your ear. You did want that, but his desperation became your entertainment. 

You wanted to see just how far he would go.

“We go home now, I’ll make you feel so good. Promise, baby.”

“Fuck— come with me to the bathroom, please, baby. Need you so bad.” 

“I’ll take you right here. Need you. Can’t stop thinking about you around my cock” —that one got a laugh out of you. 

Your final bout of entertainment for the night was when he disappeared for far too long. You spared a perfunctory glance around for him, but you knew where he was— you knew where he was off to as soon as his hips left yours, parting himself from you with a quick kiss to your cheek and a totally incomprehensible mumble of where he was going.

The heels of your shoes tapping on the tiled floor of the empty men’s bathroom give you away instantly. A regretful ‘fuck’ echoes from one of the stalls, sounding very sorry for being caught.  

“Eddie,” you say calmly, stopping outside of the stall door. “What are you doing in there?”

“Nothing,” he replies, but his breathiness is incriminating. 

“Nothing? You gonna let me in?”

The quick clank of the lock and the door fervently swinging open doesn’t surprise you. Inside stands a rosy cheeked Eddie with his pants undone, resting low on his hips, and his shirt tucked into the twisted band of his boxers, clearly having just been pulled up. Balled up in his right fist, your underwear. 

“Really?” you laugh. He’s quick to reach forward, hands on your waist pulling you into the stall with him. 

His lips meet yours with a desperate force behind them. You indulge him in the kiss, letting him have this small victory.

“It hurts, baby. Need you so bad. Not fair,” he says pulling away, attaching his lips to your neck.

“Not fair?” 

“Yeah, you took your panties off right in front of me and expected me to just go out and not be hard as a fucking rock,” he mumbles against your skin. “Got me worked up all night,” he nearly whines in your ear as his hands glide low on your hips, squeezing before tugging at the material of your dress.

“Poor baby,” you coo, weaving your fingers into his hair. 

“Mhmm, you gonna help me out, sweetheart?” he asks lowly, punctuating his sentiment with a gentle suck on the sensitive skin just under your ear. His hands stay busy, feeling and squeezing under the hem of your dress before you hear a whimper in his throat, most likely due to your lack of an answer. 

“Need me that badly?” you purr amusedly.

“Fuck, need you so bad,” he groans. 

“So badly you want to fuck me in a dirty men’s bathroom?”

“So badly I was about to rub one out in a dirty men’s bathroom.”

“That’s pretty desperate, huh?” You tease but he doesn’t play into it, far too caught up in the haze of his lust.

“Really desperate,” he mumbles against your skin.

“I must be so mean,” you say, pouting out your lower lip mawkishly, playing up your tone to be taunting. 

“I love you,” he replies, words coming out as a whined plea as he kisses along your pulse point. He loves you, you know it, but you also know he’s playing every card in his deck to win you over right now. 

“How about this, my desperate boy, you bring me home and then you can have me? I’ll be all yours. Sound good?”

“Sounds good,” he hums, continuing his kisses down your neck, dragging his teeth along your collarbone before sucking it harshly, making you gasp. 

“Baby, you’re prolonging your torture, I’m not fucking you in here,” you laugh breathily, tugging slightly at the roots of his hair. Eddie groans before abruptly pulling away, taking your hand and briskly walking out of the stall.

“Eddie!” you laugh more wholesomely. He hums, turning to look at you, dark eyes curious. He takes a step closer to you but you shake your head, focusing your attention on his still open pants.

“Silly boy, you can’t go out there showing off everything you got, that’s only for me,” you tease, moving your hands to his front. 

You run a hand over the damp spot on his boxers, slyly stroking the head of his cock with your thumb as you tuck him back into his pants. A hiss climbs in his throat as you button him up, pulling the zipper, and loosely buckling his belt. 

“My poor baby,” you coo teasingly, placing a hand on his heated cheek, smoothing his hair back. Eddie looks at you, nothing but desire and adoration in his eyes as he hums a quiet agreement. “I love you,” you smile, before reconnecting your hands, setting Eddie back onto his one track mind, tugging you out of the bathroom. 

The ride home was near silent. You’d think you did something wrong if it wasn’t for the strong standing bulge in his jeans. That, and how quickly he pulled up in front of the house, got out of the van, and ushering you inside.

As soon as you stumble through the bedroom door, he has you pinned to the wall. His lips attached to yours, the jitters of lust pulsing through the both of you. Before you get too carried away, you pull away, smiling at Eddie. His blown out pupils stare back at you with an exasperated degree of eagerness— you decide to test his patience anyways.

“One thing, Eddie. You get to take one thing off me.” You tease gently, reminding him of how the night began. 

He scoffs, blinking back his lust as he humors you. Pulling your underwear from his back pocket again, he dangles them for you to see. “I already got my one thing, but I think you’re still a little overdressed.”

“It is better to be underdressed, isn’t it?” you laugh, impressed by his listening skills.

“Absolutely,” he grins.

His hands trail down your body, grabbing the hem of your dress a final time for the night before tugging it over your head. He takes care in undressing you— more care than a man who’s been hard for the whole night should, and it makes you love him even more for it. Every other aspect of your outfit shed, Eddie has you the perfect degree of underdressed.

You do the same for him, stripping him down to be equally underdressed, pressing soft kisses on each newly exposed part of skin. Kiss after innocent kiss, he grows anything but, and his hands wander with growing neediness. His eyes flare with excitement when you look at him and you can’t help but feel your own feverishness building. He walks you back to the bed, guiding you down with him.

“Want you on your knees, pretty girl, need to see your ass on full display for me,” he says, grabbing at your hips and flipping you before you can even get a hand on the mattress. He brings your hips up high, holding you, giving you time to stabilize yourself. You put a deep arch in your back, the way you know he likes.

His hands smooth over the expanse of your behind, gliding low from the crease under your ass, all the way to your lower back.

“Teasing me all night knowing this was just under your little dress and I couldn’t have it,” he says in a low grumble. 

“All yours now, Eddie,” you reply sweetly, humming as he rubs higher on your back before gliding low again.

“Mhm, all mine.” He grips harshly, squeezing your ass before his hand draws from you, only to meet your skin again in a welcomed crack to your rounded cheek.  

He does it once, slapping you just to watch the rippled tides roll over your flesh from the impact. He does it again, slapping the other side to match. A third and final time, he delivers the crack of a slap to your plump cheek solely for being the premise of his night long desperation. It has you reeling, nearly asking for more until his hands massage over the flushed skin, soothing you gently. You let out a quiet moan, enjoying the tender caress. 

“Look at that, she’s already soaked for me. Had a good time teasing me, huh?” He says, canting your hips forward and running his fingers through your folds.

“Mhm.” You moan, pushing back into his touch. 

“Bet if I kept you there a little longer, you would have let me fuck you in the men’s bathroom.”

“Uh-uh.” You disagree, shaking your head into the mattress.

“No?” he questions condescendingly. He sinks two of his fingers inside of your cunt, the squelched sound of your wetness mixing with his low laugh. “I don’t believe you, look at this— look at how wet you are,” he says, curving his fingers inside of you, making your breath stutter. His other hand rubs even strokes along your skin, working you up even further. “So wet, just for me, right?”

“Just for you, Eddie. Always just for you.”

“That’s what I like to hear, my good girl.” He pulls his fingers out from you, rubbing his wet fingertips over your clit, making you jolt forward at the initial contact but his other hand grips harshly on your hip, bringing you right back to him.

He rubs slow circles on your clit and your breathing quickly turns erratic. You knew you were having fun teasing Eddie all night, but you hadn’t realized the full extent that it had worked you up until now, when just the slightest attention has your insides running hot and stomach tensing harshly. He continues his slow motions on your clit, and you careen into it.

“Eddie, m’so close already,” you say, voice coming out breathy. He speeds up his maneuvers and your back unconsciously arches even deeper, opening yourself up further to him. 

“Yeah? Barely even done anything yet, baby, and you already wanna cum for me?” he goads, sounding all too cocky for someone who spent the night begging to fuck you, but he already has you— you’re entirely his for the bending and he knows it.

“Mhm, want to cum please,” you answer, tilting your head to lie it into the mattress, making a sorry attempt at catching a glimpse of Eddie. 

“N’aw isn’t that sweet. My girl teases me all night then wants to cum right away. Such a sweetheart as always,” he says, staying strong in his arrogant attitude but it only spurs on your pleasure, adding heat to your simmering belly. 

“E-Eddie,” you stutter through your tensing muscles as you teeter on the cusp of cumming. You feel your high approaching, getting so close, only to be ripped away when Eddie stops abruptly, making you whine, sinking your face into the bed in defeat.

Eddie laughs lowly, a hand grazing your lower back. “Don’t worry, pretty girl, told you I’d make you feel good,” he says, sounding pleased with himself. His hand on your lower back trails down to your ass again, squeezing once more. 

You hear the mattress shuffle before you feel his tongue on your cunt, both hands now gripping your cheeks harshly, spreading you open for him. The initial contact makes you gasp before you settle into a pleased moan.

The warmth of his mouth on your already heated core and the strategic lapping of his tongue puts you in a state of gasping for air very quickly. The rigidity in your muscles rapidly works its way back in, and your growing pleasure is swiftly picking up where it left off. Swirling his tongue in and out of your entrance, all you can do is grind back, reveling in the feeling.

“Eddie, feels so good,” you say breathily. He groans into your cunt, the speed of his tongue increasing tenfold turning you into a moaning mess.

He works his way down to your clit, closing his lips around the little bud, sucking harshly. He pushes his face further into you, nose just barely dipping into your hole and your whole body washes over in a tingle that draws all the air from your lungs. His suckling has you jerking forward, but his grip rounds to the front of your thighs, pulling you right back into him— pushing you straight into your orgasm.

Your hips jolt, bucking back and forth in Eddie’s firm hold. When the edges of your vision blur, you squeeze your eyes shut, feeling your whole body reign in jolts of electricity that shudder throughout you— all at the mercy of Eddie's tongue. 

When your gasping breaths turn into high pitched whines, he releases your clit, lapping at you messily, the wetness making obscene noises. He groans into you, loosening his grip, running his hands back around your hips, squeezing your ass in his hands again. He slows his tongue, bringing you down from your orgasm, letting you suck in a much needed breath. 

When he finally draws from you, you feel him jiggle your ass, obviously having too much fun playing with it while you’re busy gathering your wits.

“Eddie. So good, felt so good,” you say through gasps of air. Your body feels limp, the only thing keeping you up is Eddie’s grip stabilizing you and the side of your head smashed into the blanket— arms reduced to pure jelly.

“Told you I’d make you feel good, baby,” he says softly, rubbing a hand up your spine. The gentle touch makes you shiver and goosebumps erupt all over your body. Eddie laughs softly and his grip loosen, letting you fall slightly before he’s guiding you to lay on your back.

You catch his gaze and he flashes a cute smile, your favourite smile of his. In its boyish charm, it never fails to make your heart melt for him. 

“There’s my pretty girl,” he whispers, moving up your body to hover over you.

“Love you, Eddie.”

“Love you too, my perfect girl,” he replies, pressing a slick coated kiss to your lips.

His kiss starts out tender and loving but with how tonight has gone, it’s not long before it’s messy, all teeth and tongue and desperation. 

When you spread your thighs wider, letting him drop further into you, he pulls back catching your gaze. “You ready for my cock, baby?” he asks, hand cupping your jaw as he looks at you. His thumb rubs back and forth against your skin and you pout your lip out in pure adoration for him.

“Want it so bad,” you whine. He smiles again, patting your cheek gently before moving to snake his hand between your bodies. 

“Yeah?” he hums, adjusting himself over top of you. “Been waiting to feel you all night, pretty girl.”

You feel as he glides the head of his cock through your slicked folds, gathering your wetness before he lines himself up with your entrance. “Perfect pussy, worth waiting for,” he says under his breath, making you smile. He pushes in and your smile immediately turns into your mouth dropping, brows furrowing upwards as he stretches you perfectly.

“F-fuck,” Eddie curses as he bottoms out inside of you, a low rumble growing in his chest as he stills, sucking in harsh breaths. “Got me so close already from teasing all night,” he groans, his own brows pinching as he collects himself, not wanting to blow his load immediately.

All you can do is hum, feeling lost in the swirls of pleasure while simultaneously searching for more, mindlessly grinding your hips into Eddie’s.  

“Baby,” Eddie says, voice cracking into a whimper as his hand grabs your hip, stilling you.

“Feels so good, Eddie.” You breathe, writhing in the sheets. Eddie leans forward, his chest pressing to yours and you gladly take the opportunity to wrap your hands around his back, arching off the bed to grind your hips better despite him already warning you once.

Eddie exhales deeply, calming himself from your movements before speaking. “Nuh-uh. Gotta let me do all the work, pretty girl.” He admonishes gently, with a kiss on your lips. You huff a restless breath and Eddie presses another kiss to your cheek before slowly drawing his hips from yours. 

The drag out is slow, the slowest thing about tonight because after that, Eddie pushes in quickly, punching all the air from your lungs. He knows he’s got you worked up. He knows your second orgasm always comes faster. He’s fucking you the way he knows you like it, but he’s chasing his desperation, seeking the pleasure he’s been soughting for all night.

His hips meet yours with a fervent force, nudging your clit with each roll, stroking your g-spot in a deliberate way that comes to him naturally from knowing you so well. It doesn’t take long for your body to wash over in a prickled tension, leaving you moaning and whimpering for him.

Eddie’s lively pace leaves him just as reactive, his groans and deep grunts harmonizing with your high pitched mewls. His hand grazes your side, palm rounding over your breast, squeezing it self-indulgently. He massages it lustily with the intention of just feeling you— feeling the way your chest rises as you desperately fill your lungs with air just for it to sink so deeply with each whined exhale that he feels the roaring pound of your heart within your ribcage beneath his grasp.

His eager thrusts drive you up the brink of pleasure, head filled with only thoughts of how good your body feels and the man who’s orchestrating it all. Rightfully so, the only thing coming from your mouth is gasps of his name coming out like short pleas. 

“Fuck, baby. Feels so good.” He says through a strangled breath. “Can feel you squeezing me tight, gonna cum for me again?” He asks, his voice pitching up the faintest bit, signaling you to his onset release. Like a Pavlovian response, it triggers the rigidity in your body— tension spreading from the curl of your toes all the way up to your open set jaw and furrowed brows. 

“Eddie��” you start, your own heavy breath cutting you off with a broken cry as your pleasure hits its peak.

“I know, baby.” He coos, the edge of his face meeting yours as he breaths hot air into the crook of your neck. 

Your hands grasp at his back, pulling yourself closer to him as all your muscles flex and tighten. Another roll of his hips sets you off, body erupting in spasms, hips jolting beneath his. You feel your body become weightless, a misted daze of euphoria setting in your consciousness as he brings you through your orgasm with each meteoric jerk of his hips.

Eddie grumbles low words against your skin, but in your hazy head, they fall upon deaf ears. When his hips stutter, you know exactly what he was trying to tell you.

“Cum for me, Eddie.” You say, mustering up all of the energy and oxygen in your body to produce such a pitiful whimper, but it’s enough to seduce his release. 

His hips press flush to yours and the subtlety of warmth fills you up. Riding his orgasm out with slowed, shallow thrusts, his low, breathy whimpers echo into your ear from where he’s pressed himself firmly into your skin. 

Movements becoming kinetic jolts, he slowly comes to a halt and his sticky chest connects completely to yours. Dropping his weight onto you, the added pressure lures you through the last stretch of settling back down onto earth from your clouded rapture. 

Heartbeat to heartbeat, you both lay still, gathering your breaths. This is one of your favourite moments; the comedown, where you’re both so synchronized, shared pulses constellating you together. If Eddie didn’t already have your heart entirely, moments like now would be what steals it.

His breathing evens out, but gains a particular heaviness to it that you know he gets when he’s extra tired. Your poor baby. 

Gliding your hand up his back and weaving your fingers through his hair has him rousing, pressing a chaste kiss on your neck before pushing himself up with an accompanying deep groan. He rolls off you, with a content sigh. 

“Come cuddle closer.” He says softly, arms already pulling at you. He tugs you into his chest, pressing you snug to him.

You let out your own happy sigh, body still feeling tingly. Eddie twirls a piece of your hair in his fingers, and looking over to him, his eyes have fluttered shut, his face set in a relaxed expression. 

You shuffle in closer, bringing a hand to his chest and drawing little circles in his skin, and he lets out another content sigh.

“Feeling better?” you ask, pressing your chin to his chest to see him better. His eyes open and warm brown greets you, showering you with a tender gaze. 

“After all that teasing, yeah,” he says, flashing you a grin.

“Good. I’m glad.” you say, laughing softly. 

“I think you gotta teach me more of those fashion tips, baby,” he says with the faint rise of a smirk. 

“Oh yeah?” you question, smiling as you wonder what he’s getting at.

“Yeah, that was fun,” he says, widening his eyes for emphasis. 

Tilting your head at him, you give him an exaggerated questioning look. “I thought it wasn’t fair?” you tease. 

“Oh not fair at all,” he grins. “If you do that’s again, we’re absolutely fucking before we go out.”

“Before?” you say, dropping your mouth in a faux bewilderment. 

“Before and after,” he says with a wink. 

“Lucky me,” you tease, raising your brows at him.

“Lucky me,” he corrects with a smirk, bringing a hand up to your face, pushing your hair back before pinching your nose gently between his thumb and pointer finger. 

You scrunch your nose, escaping his teasing gesture by hiding your face in his chest. “And it’s all thanks to Coco Chanel,” you laugh. He brings his hand to the back of your head, smoothing your hair down in a tender gesture. 

“All thanks to Coco Chanel,” he agrees.

—

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie fanfic #eddie smut #eddie munson fluff

[dollfaceksj]

22 and 23? Combined?! YESSSIR

i decided to split it up anyways and #23 is just really short. but expect it very soon :)

warnings: just enjoy :) gigglessss

taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #22

masterlist

<- previous ; next ->

you quickly text yoongi back

from: you

‘ah sorry i fell asleep directly after showering when i got home. i didn’t do much just took a nap and watched some netflix’

from: you

‘what about you?’

you have that date with yoongi tomorrow too

ur excited for that

but you have class

so

you check the time

it’s already 10pm

you haven’t eaten yet

you get up and quickly make yourself some instant ramen

your phone buzzes

from: yoongi

‘No worries’

from: yoongi

‘I didn’t do much either. Just thought about you’

AAAAAAAA

shit shit

you seriously need to get that little shit out of your head when you’ve got a gentleman thinking about you

from: you

‘liar’

you eat your dinner before settling in bed again

from: yoongi

‘I’m not lying. How can I prove it to you?’

you think about your answer for a bit

from: you

‘prove it to me tomorrow on our date’

you plug your phone into your charger and stare at the ceiling as the past few events flash through your mind

what have you done?

from: yoongi

‘I intend to do just that’

from: yoongi

‘I’ll go to sleep now. Goodnight’

you smile at your phone

from: you

‘goodnight’

and then you decide to go to sleep too

class was boring as per usual

you had lunch outside and now you’re going back hom

once you arrive you decide to clean up

cause what if yoongi comes home with you?

can’t have him thinking you’re a slob

after you’ve cleaned, it’s already time to wash your body and start getting ready

you do your hair, makeup, choose an outfit

you’ve got on a knee skirt and a silk blouse on top

and you’re adding your finishing touches like jewellery and cute mary janes

right as you swipe your lipgloss along your lips and spray your coco chanel perfume

your phone buzzes

you check

from: yoongi

‘I’m outside’

ah. it’s 6.01pm

he’s so punctual <3

you look at yourself in the mirror one last time and then step out

you head out your door and he’s literally standing in your hallway, right in front of your door

how’d he go through the lobby/entrance hall and find your door?

but he’s standing there

with a big bouquet of flowers

omg…

omg.

ah shit. fuck.

damn

you’d forgotten how gentlemanly he is

“you are absolutely stunning,” he says as he holds the bouquet of flowers out to you

you try to fight the smile on your lips but ultimately fail. “thank you.”

you take the flowers and then smell them

“you shouldn’t ha–”

?

???

you glance at them

wait a sec

are those

what you think they are?

“are these my birthflowers?”

he shoves his hands into his pockets, a sheepish look on his face as he glances the other way

you lead him back into your apartment as you go looking for a vase

“how’d you know what my birthflower is?”

he looks around your apartment and shrugs his shoulders. “i asked taehyung.”

“taehyung does not know my birthflower,” you laugh as you put the flowers in the vase and fill it up with water

he chuckles, “yeah, you’re right. but he does know your birthday. so i went on a little research mission of my own with the info i had.”

you place it on the accent table by your door and admire them for a bit before you turn to him

“that’s really sweet. thank you. i love them,” you say. “i’m sorry, i didn’t get you anything.”

he shrugs his shoulders. “you are my gift. give me a spin?”

he holds his hand out to you and you sheepishly take it

he holds it over your head and twirls you around

“gorgeous. i can’t believe how pretty you are.” he lets go of your hand and tilts his head to the side as he eyes you

your stomach keeps clenching

is this what they mean when they say butterflies?

“but if you insist on giving me something back,” he says as he takes a step closer to you. “i’ll always take a kiss.”

FUCK

you glance up at him and purse your lips together as you think for a few seconds.

“i’d give you all the kisses in the world but i’m wearing my favorite lip combo with lipgloss. might rub off on you.”

he respectfully places his hands on your waist. “as long as it’s flavored. preferably cotton candy.”

so he doesn’t care if he gets lipgloss on his lips…..

ughhhh he’s so fine.

“who knew you had a sweet tooth?” you tease him

“how can i not have a sweet tooth when you exist?” he cheesily says, fingers gently squeezing your waist

oh

😂😂😂😂

he wants to have the life sucked out of him

he’s too smooth😭😭

dgaf if it was cheesy

“just don’t be messy,” you chuckle as you place your hands on his biceps

he chuckles, “i promise.”

he leans down and gently presses his lips to yours, keeping his promise of not being messy or rough

he never is but still

he parts from your lips after a few seconds and rubs his lips together, smearing the lipgloss stain on his lips together. “how do i look?”

“amazing,” you giggle and bring your thumb up to wipe the gloss off his lips

he lets you. “alright then. shall we go?”

you nod and take your purse off the accent table before heading out the door and locking up behind you

your creepy neighbor is sitting by the entrance but luckily you’ve got yoongi with you so he doesn’t say anything like he usually would

he leads you to a black, seemingly expensive car

“i didn’t know you had a car,” you say and he shakes his head

“it’s my parents’. i got them this car as a gift but that meant i had to wait and save to buy my own car.” he opens the passenger’s side and protects your head as you get in

:( he’s so sweet

he jogs around the front and gets in on the other side

you move to buckle your seatbelt but when you reach around the front, yoongi takes it from you and clicks it into the buckle for you

he buckles his own seatbelt and starts the car

“that’s really sweet of you. to do that for your parents.”

he shrugs his shoulders as he pulls out of the spot he parked in. “it’s the least i can do.”

you fidget with your fingers for a moment. “well, they’re lucky to have you as a son.”

a smile tugs on his lips but he doesn’t say anything more

you look out the window for a few moments and then your penny drops

“when did you ask taehyung about my birthday?” you turn your head to look at him

he glances at you for a moment

“during the camping trip.”

ah

that’s how tae knew about you and yoongi

okay then

the reason why tae took it so well compared to if he ever found out about you and jungkook is because yoongi asked about your birthflower whilst jungkook probably would’ve asked for the color of your panties

you have a nice meal in a nice restaurant with yoongi and get to know him

he has a kitten at home

he doesn’t like horror movies

he’s working as a teacher in an elementary school and calls his students ‘his little gremlins’

can he be any more charming 😭😭😭😭

“i’m having a good time. isn’t it too early to go home?” you hum on your way to the car

as he helps you get into the car, he chuckles quietly to himself

“well, what do you have in mind?” he asks when he gets into the car and buckles his seatbelt

you shrug your shoulders. “a horror movie.”

“i told you, i don’t like them,” he groans as he starts the car and accelerates

“that’s precisely why. i’ll protect you,” you tease

he hums in response and then glances at you when he halts in front of a red light

you glance down at your phone and check your instagram, you’ve shared a few photos and clips of you being out with yoongi on your story

and you’ve gotten a dm

from tae?

from: @.kth3012

‘Use protection’

UGH

you respond

from: you

‘get out of my dms’

you check the viewers of your story

eunbi, a few classmates, a few friends, tae & co…..

👁️ @.jungkook97

…

right

you have him on insta

whatever…. he knows you’re casually seeing yoongi

speaking of yoongi

he asks, “well, if you’re serious about watching a movie, where would you want to watch it?”

hmm

“the theatres are always nice but now that you’ve mentioned a kitten i really want to meet her.”

he smiles at that and nods. “alright then, my place it is.”

:)

he unlocks the door and leads you inside of his apartment, kicking his shoes off and watching as you do the same

he glances at you, taking notice to the difference in your height but doesn’t comment on it

and leads you further in

he motions for you to take a seat while he sets the table with snacks and drinks

his little black kitten 🐈‍⬛ struts into the living room and you quietly gasp

“oh my god…” you whisper, “she’s so cute!!!”

he smiles and squats, gently stroking her over her head and she can’t seem to get enough

“what’s her name?”

“cinnamon.”

oh goodness gracious

can he be any cuter😭😭😭

you watch as he picks her up and walks up to you before sitting next to you on the couch

he holds her and she starts sniffing as you reach out to touch her

you gently graze your finger against her nose so she can get a good smell and that’s when she leans into your touch

“oh, my god. i would literally die for her,” you whisper in hopes you don’t scare her away

he smiles and lets you pet her small head until she loses interest and jumps out of his arms to disappear into the hallway

he reaches for the remote and starts skimmin thru movies

you decide to tease him and make up a lie. “your hand is shaking. are you that scared? i’ll protect you.”

he rolls his eyes and flicks your knee before putting on a random horror movie

you sink into the couch and he carefully wraps his arm around your shoulders

you place your head in the crook of his neck and put your hand on top of his chest

his hand drops down to your waist and he pulls you a little closer

and you enjoy the movie :)

about 40 minutes into the movie, you glance up at him to see if he’s still watching cause he’s very quiet

but he is, until he notices you looking at him and then he glances at you. “you good?”

you nod your head to his question. “thought you were hiding.”

he groans and throws his head back. “are you just gonna keep teasing me?”

you giggle as you sit straight up, looking over your shoulder at him. “how else am i supposed to have fun?”

he stares at the ceiling for a few moments before he picks his head back up and shifts his gaze to you. “if it’s fun you’re after, i’d be happy to give it to you.”

OKAY.

what is THAT supposed to mean

you tap your manicured nail against your chin. “what kind of fun are we talking about?”

he leans forwards. “exactly the kind of fun you’re thinking about.”

and you don’t know who kissed who first

but the ragged breathing and lips smacking is an obvious indicator that no one cares who kissed who first. it’s about how needy this kiss is

he respectfully holds you by your waist, humming against your lips in delight and pleasure

you cup his neck, fingers tangled in the long hair that grazes his shoulders

you tilt your head to get easier access, full on kissing him like you haven’t kissed like this in years

he squeezes your waist gently

he slowly pushes you back until you’re lying on the couch

his pelvis pressed into yours

and your lips still glued together

his tongue has explored every centimeter in your mouth at this point

you quietly moan into the kiss

and he gently sucks on your tongue for a little while before parting from your lips to kiss down your neck

his lips are so soft

it’s like you’re

being caressed by literal clouds. he’s so. wow.

“you sound so sweet for me,” he whispers against your skin as he covers your collarbones in soft kisses

he kisses back up to your lips and continues your makeout session

you make out with him for a long time and you know you’re completely soaked

fuck

he’s so gentle yet firm

he parts from your lips and glances down at you. “do you want to keep going?”

you look up at him with big eyes and sheepishly nod your head

why are you so shy with yoongi when you’re so slutty with jungkook?

don’t think about that FREAK

think about yoongi

and his big hands

and deep voice

and long hair

and soft touch

ugh

he’s so perfect

he slowly gets up from the couch and takes your hand to pull you up with him

you shoot him a confused glance and he smiles at you

“you’re too beautiful to do this on a couch.” he leads you to his bedroom

your stomach is BURSTING with butterflies

you reach his room and he leads you to his bed

he sits down on his bed and looks up at you. “come, sit on my lap.”

FUCKKKK

you shyly hike your skirt up a bit higher and slowly lower yourself onto his lap, thighs straddling his

you place your hands on his broad shoulders

and he holds your hips as he brings his lips back to yours

fuck

you quietly moan against his lips

he feels so .. good ..

before you know it

your back is against the mattress

and yoongi’s hips are wedged in between your thighs

his soft plump lips still coating your skin in kisses

he slowly sits up and takes his shirt off

“shall i take this off as well?” he asks, tugging on your blouse

you eagerly nod and right as you move to unbutton it, he’s already unbuttoning your shirt, exposing your bra to him

he quietly sighs in content. “you are so beautiful. i could stare at you all day.”

he moves on to your skirt and glances up at you for permission

you nod your head and watch as he discards it with no obstacles

he glances down at your horrendous excuse for underwear

wearing the sluttiest thong you own

FUCKKK

he looks back up at you with a look in his eyes

you decide to defend yourself. “it’s to avoid panty lines in my skirt…”

he chuckles, “i didn’t say anything.” he looks back down at the wet patch on your underwear. “you’re just very sexy.”

fuck

😭😭😭😭 can he notttt

he tosses the articles of clothing aside and kisses your neck, down to the swell of your breasts

“you mind if i take this off?” he tugs on your bra strap

you lift your back off the bed and unclasp the bra yourself

he elegantly removes the straps and tosses the bra aside

he eyes your body with such… admiration

“you’re perfect.” he kisses down the valley of your breasts, eyes looking up at you for permission

you bite your lip and nod

watching him get to work on your breasts

he takes his time with foreplay, prepping you good and coating your entire chest in kisses

making you feel

wanted

and safe

and loved

and beautiful

by the time he’s removed your thong, you’re drenched

you sheepishly look at him in embarrassment

“would you like me to eat you out?” he whispers into your ear as he presses soft kisses to right under your ear

sending shivers down your entire body

you gulp. “actually,” you breathe out, “i’ve uh…”

he pulls away to look at your face, a hint of worry in his eyes

you struggle to find the right words for a moment until you finally decide to get it out. “i’ve fantasized about your fingers a lot.”

the concern in his face quickly turns to relief.. then to lust

“have you now?”

he nods his head and rolls off of you, propping his body up next to yours as he wets his middle and ring finger

you watch as his hand quickly moves down your stomach to your pulsating sex

and fuck

fuck

FUCK

he gently runs the tips of his fingers up your slit, collecting your arousal

“you’re soaked, princess.”

fuck

yeah. you know that.

“all for me?” he whispers as he rubs his fingers in between your folds, the squelching sounds already making your face heat up

you hum in confirmation

he spreads your folds gently and then presses his lips to yours as he plunges two fingers into your pussy, slowly pumping them in and out

you moan against his lips, thighs already clenching and hips already jerking

he keeps thrusting his fingers into you, at a pace that you really enjoy

damn he’s good

you roll your hips around, wanting more friction

he uses his thumb to rub your clit as he continues to fuck his fingers into you

it’s embarrassing how you can already feel your slick leaking down your sex and to your butthole

after several minutes, he picks up the pace of his hand

a louder moan escapes you but he swallows all your sounds, lips still pressed against yours

you bring your hand up to squeeze his shoulder, indicating that your orgasm is quickly approaching you

and it doesn’t take long for you to cum all over his fingers, cries leaving your throat and your hips repeatedly jerking up

he lets you ride out your high and then pulls his sticky fingers out

he parts from your lips and glances down at his wet hand, examining it

he brings it up to his mouth and sucks his fingers clean of your arousal whilst watching you

fuck

you’re trying to catch your breath and he’s ditching his boxers in the meantime

wow

you eye his dick with a salivating mouth

his tip is so red and oozing precum, begging for attention

oh you need him in your mouth immediately

you move to reach for his dick but he wraps his fingers around your wrist mid-air

he shakes his head. “today’s about you. i didn’t wait all this time to wait even longer.”

your throat

is

dry

as FUCK

oh gosh

oh goodness.

he slowly drops your hand and moves to his nightstand, fishing out what seems to be a condom

you lie back and watch the show he’s putting on for you

rolling it onto his thick shaft, your fingers twitching to simply touch it

you tease, “today? so, there are gonna be other days?”

he chuckles as he positions himself at your pussy, one hand around his shaft and the other has your leg hooked around it to keep you spread for him, hand placed near your waist against the mattress to support himself

“you think you can finally give me a taste of you and expect me to never crave it again?”

he needs to stop

with saying these things.

cause.

FUCK.

he gently rubs his tip up and down your folds. “fuck,” he whispers as he watches the head of his dick slide over your slit

you quietly moan at the sensation, already clenching around nothing

“ready?” he asks as he makes eye contact with you

you eagerly nod your head, bringing your hand up to his shoulder

he slowly pushes into you, watching your face intently

you squeeze your eyes shut and swallow thickly, telling yourself the burn won’t last that long

“are you okay?” he whispers, pressing a soft kiss to your hairline

you open your eyes and nod your head

“does it hurt?” he asks, still very slowly pushing further

you quietly mewl at the intrusion but still nod your head. “it hurts so good.”

he bites his lip. “you’re gonna drive me crazy, you little minx.”

once he’s nestled deep inside of you, he takes a moment to let you adjust

he uses his free hand to slowly rub circles onto your clit, in order to help you relax

you softly moan his name, squeezing his shoulder

“shh, just breathe. relax. i’m right here,” he whispers, pressing another kiss to your temple

you breathe like he says and quietly grunt at how full he’s making you feel

“can i move?”

you nod at his question and watch as he slowly pulls out and pushes back in

you mewl under him, clenching around him

“fuck,” he whispers, “you’re gonna squeeze my dick off, princess.”

you quietly chuckle but not for long when another moan erupts from your throat as he pushes in once again, slowly thrusting into you

he’s so

caring :(

and gentle

and lovely

this is very

sweet

and strangely comforting

“you take me so well, y/n. so good.” he picks up the pace slightly, eyes dropping to your breasts that are bouncing from the momentum of his thrusts

“shit,” you moan, tears welling up in your eyes at how good his dick rubs against your walls

he rubs your clit at a faster pace too, hips bumping into the back of your thighs with each thrust

“you look so pretty under me. such a good girl.”

fuck

he’s gonna

drive you

fucking insane

he needs to STOP

cause you’re gonna cum at this rate

“yoongi,” you softly moan, moving your hand up his shoulder to his neck, pulling him down to press your lips to his

he kisses you passionately like he’s got something to prove whilst still rolling his hips into you so fucking good

fuck he’s so good

he parts your lips to kiss down your jaw to your neck, leaving soft kisses all over you and gently sucking on your collarbone

you mewl, arching your back off the bed to feel more of him

he’s so fucking fine

he keeps rolling his hips into you, pace already quickened

it’s got you seeing the evolution of the homo sapiens on the back of your eyelids every time you close your eyes

your stomach starts twisting and your thighs are clenching

yeah, you’re gonna cum soon

“yoongi, i–”

“i know, princess.” he focuses on stimulating your clit now but by no means are his thrusts lacking

you close your eyes, allowing the tears to roll down the sides of your face as your orgasm approaches you

and hits you like a ton of fucking bricks

“oh, shit,” you cry out as he keeps fucking into you, thumb still rubbing a delicious pattern directly onto your clit

the second orgasm hits your even harder, pathetic sobs escaping you as your legs tremble and your nails dig into his back

he fucks you through your orgasm and chases his own, dropping his hand from your sensitive clit and placing it against the mattress on the other side of your waist to steady himself as he picks up the pace

you mewl as he fucks you good, chasing his own orgasm. “fuck, i’m gonna cum.”

you nod your head and clench around his dick, tightening around and squeezing his dick repeatedly

it doesn’t take long after for him to cum, shooting his load into the condom

he quietly moans your name and a few more compliments as he lazily thrusts into you

he grunts as he pulls out completely, sitting on his knees in between your legs and dropping the one leg of yours he kept hooked around his arm

he tries to catch his breath, hair sticking to his forehead from the sweat

he looks so fucking good

you rub your eyes, wiping your pleasure tears away

“shit,” he mumbles after he’s finally got his breath back and yanks the condom off, tying a knot in it and discarding it in the bin

your chest dramatically rises and falls as you watch him move around the room

he disappears for a few moments before reappearing with wet wipes and a towel

he climbs back onto the bed and gently wipes your sex clean

your thighs slightly clench from the overstimulation and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him

“sorry,” he chuckles as he thoroughly cleans you up

he leaves after cleaning you up to put the stuff back and when he’s back he’s got on a pair of boxers

“i uh,” you scratch the back of your head. “i really enjoyed my time with you today.”

he chuckles as he sits next to you. “what happened to that devious little minx?”

you gently push him by the ribs with your foot and he just laughs

“i enjoyed it too. when can i take you out again?”

oh wow

you’re already excited to see him again

“whenever you want.” you reach for your clothes

he nods slowly as he hands you some of your clothes scattered across the floor. “saturday?”

you hum quietly. “tae wanted to go clubbing. you could join us?”

he nods his head. “i’ll be there.”

“i should uh,” you say before you clear your throat. “i should go home. i have class early tomorrow.”

he gets up. “let’s get dressed, i’ll drop you off.”

you smile and nod your head sheepishly as you get dressed with him

to be continued

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#if you dont love yoongi after this you’re kinda a loser imo #btw surprise coming in a few mins #hehe #be prepared #clover’s drabble series: toapp | jjk #jeon jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x oc #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #jungkook x y/n #jungkook #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts #bts x reader #jungkook fic #jungkook au #jungkook drabble #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #min yoongi #min yoongi x reader #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook angst #jeon jungkook fic #minors dni #dollfaceksj

[kanmom51]

JK's pinky ring

This post is a product of a joint effort with @dgtn !!!!💜💜

I was going to wait and post this in my JK live post, but seeing it will be a while until that posts sees the light of day (waiting for actual proper live translations, this one is super important!), I decided to address this right away, because this shit is getting fucking annoying.

I will say this once (well probably not only once) - JK's pinky ring IS NOT THE WOOOGA SQUAD RING.

PERIOD.

We know that ring placement has meaning. So, what does the ring on the right hand pinky mean?

To make this as clear as day, let's first see the wooga squad ring.

It's a the Chanel Coco Crush ring.

And different angles:

On Tae:

On the Woogas.

The ring is worn on their index finger, which as we saw represents friendship.

And this is JK with his PINKY ring:

This, people is JK's ring.

It seems to be part braided and part smooth with what looks like some kind of an engraving. It also seems to be a thinner band than the Chanel ring.

Symbolising achieving some of your wishes and dreams. JK achieving his wishes and dreams, and this can most definitley be on multiple levels.

This is not the Wooga ring. It's not JK wearing Tae's ring nor is it JK being initiated as a wooga squad member.

Now I'm going on the hunt to try find a pic with JM wearing this ring. You are welcome to help with the search. And if found, will post of course.

So stop it.

Do you hear me?

#Jungkook #JK #JK pinky ring #jikook #Kookmin #Minkook #Jimin #JM

[loveoaths]

i refuse to write luke skywalker as always rational and sunshiney and din djarin as always stoic and honorable.

because luke can be whiny and enjoys complaining and doubts himself but he keeps going and it’s his refusal to quit that gets him to the other side. and he had to learn that, that dogged tenacity, with time and experience and yoda’s help on dagobah. he wears coco chanel and could kill god but he’s too busy housing hot milk juice. he’s the greatest jedi who ever lived but he also knows jack-all shit about the legacy he carries because he got the jedi speedrun. his first student knows more about being a jedi than he does and luke feels weird and less capable because of it. he still doesn’t quite know how to feel about his biofather, his feelings change every day, and he doesn’t know if he ever will. he knows next to nothing about his biomother and no one seems to think that’s weird at all. he loves sand. he misses home. he never wants to go home. he doesn’t know where home is anymore. he wanted to be a cool hero all his life and now that he is one he isn’t sure he’d have left tattooine if he’d known what it would have cost him back then, even if he knows now it was the right thing to do. he loves quickly and deeply and it’s his greatest strength and his greatest flaw, and his love is what saves his father but dooms his nephew. he’s a happy guy, not a naive one. he knows too much and not enough all at once. he’s brave and proud and freaky and normal and laughing and groaning all at once. he is a cambrian explosion, the universe convexing and convexing into itself all at once. he’s a hick from space arizonabama. he’s luke skywalker.

and din is not always selfless and honorable or deadly and murderous. that man does some reckless as shit sometimes. like get in a concrete boat in a lava river when he had a jet pack. or nearly getting eaten by every large-to-giant animal he stumbles across. or bringing a baby to a gunfight (although to his credit, the baby usually wins the gunfight). he’s also vengeful and leaves a guy to get eaten by street ratdogs with the calm air of a man who has done this before and walks away playing with his baby while a man screams bloody murder behind him. he tries to be polite and avoids killing people he doesn’t need to, but if you step to him he will cut you down without a second thought, and he will not feel bad about it. he was going to leave a teenager/young man toro calican to die because he was annoying until he begrudgingly agreed to help him. when he was young he referred to enemy combatants as “target practice” and fucked around with xi’an so he has terrible-good taste simultaneously. he just be doing shit and surviving because he’s literally wearing plot armor. he has anxiety. he has a heart— not a big one, but an honest one. he’s practical and ruthless when necessary. he’s a warrior and a protector, a father and an orphan, a zealot and an apostate, the sword and the shield, the hunter and the hunted. he lashes out when he’s frustrated and reins himself in to get a job done. he takes no bullshit but also, yes he does. he’s faced The Horrors and takes a space ambien before bed because his middle aged back fucking hurts. he’s a little guy. that’s din djarin.

they’re both complex and weird and funny and tragic and hopeful and messy as hell and basically i’m saying they should fight then fuck about it.

#yelling at myself on my blog instead of writing the fic? more likely than you’d think. #walkie talkie. #din djarin #luke skywalker #dinluke

[lastweeksshirttonight]

All righty, I managed to get back home despite the hurricane, let's talk about the show.

Tl;dr - I traveled cross-country to see John Oliver and Seth Meyers. It was amazing and I am still giddy about it!! Gonna put all the details under a cut to not clog up your timeline/the tags.

(All jokes will be paraphrased/guestimated bc my adrenaline and ADHD played havoc with my memory recall, lol.)

Firstly, the Beacon Theatre is absolutely stunning. It reminds me a bit of the Theatre at Ace Hotel in LA, in that it's clearly had its old elements lovingly preserved and harkens back to an older time. It was truly a gorgeous venue.

I missed getting a pic of the other side of the stage, which had a massive sculpture of shields and spears. John made a joke about the opulence of the room not matching the entertainment for the evening, and noted that "even Coco Chanel would say to keep it to one shield". Really wish I'd thought to get a picture of it, he was not wrong.

I was extremely close to the stage - 3 rows back and dead center. I definitely had the anxious excited adrenaline jitters because of it.

I mean COME ON.

The opener was Brooks Wheelan, who I remembered from his brief stint at SNL. He talked a fair deal about that, and told a great story bit about getting fired from there and opening for John shortly after, wherein he drank an entire bottle of "HBO blood diamond whiskey" from John's dressing room and had, in Seth's later words, "a nervous breakdown". I'd heard Brooks has opened for John before and was glad I got to see him, he's a lot of fun.

He also told a joke about not wanting to learn karate because of the huge glass windows in front of every karate studio and not wanting anyone to watch him learn karate. Lots of very understanding laughter there, including from me. (Why do all these places have massive plate glass windows?!)

After Brooks was John Oliver, and y'all. Let me get this out of the way.

He is fine as hell. Look. Just LOOK. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS

I would also like to take the time to gush effusively about John's mastery of set structure. The set was, aside from the typical "before we get started, I need to let you know I'm British" pseudo-opener he's used since like 2005, entirely new material -

(As an aside... !!!!!! I KNOW!!!! A FULL FUCKING HOUR OF ENTIRELY NEW MATERIAL!! THAT I WAS NEAR THE FRONT FOR!!!! I'M SO VERKLEMPT STILL YOU HAVE NO IDEA)

- and it was just beautifully written from a structural standpoint. It was pretty much all political material all centered around history and the need to understand it for context on the world as it currently stands. There were some digressions from that point but they were seamlessly woven in. He is such a goodamn incredible stand-up comedian.

A few things he talked about in his set:

That time the US dropped nukes on itself twice (which was briefly mentioned on LWT but not in this detail and not including a reenactment of a man dropping a bomb while working on a plane and him reacting to watching it roll away).

That the current British royal line of succession exists because of a "cousin-fucker who cut someone into pieces like a Benihana chef". (John told us this is something he learned researching this bit, which caused me unending joy. I love that he's making new sets!! :D)

John delights in the misery of billionaires and wished that the rocket Jeff Bezos was on would blow up. He doesn't want him to die, though. Through this he also talked about Elon Musk and his favorite fake blue check company tweets, mainly a series made by a fake Chiquita account claiming to have overthrown Brazil, followed by Chiquita saying they hadn't actually overthrown any governments since 1954.

John got booed at a Sesame Street benefit and told a killer set of jokes about Bert judging him for it. ("The man lives with Ernie! He knows chaos!")

He claims we will all know things are okay with the US again when we are all irrationally mad at Anne Hathaway for no reason again. Told an incredible story about how he just blundered into the street in LA once, almost got hit by a car, looked up, realized it was Anne Hathaway in the car, saw her wave at him, and, despite the scenario being objectively his fault, being somehow mad at her.

Shaded Dave Chappelle in an analogy about how we are not at Civil War division times because "somehow our level of division is people debating whether Chapelle's SNL monologue was okay or not", in a way that suggested it was very much not okay. 10/10 no notes.

Okay so there was one recycled bit - him being informed the Queen wanted to give him an OBE. He added to it fantastically though, by personifying the man from the embassy as the most offensively British stereotype you could possibly imagine. He said the man sounded like "if a British person rubbed a teapot and a genie came out".

There was definitely more but I could gush forever so let's move on.

Brooks came back out to introduce Seth and forgot the name of his show, lol. For a brief moment we all contemplated what Last Week Tonight with Seth Meyers would look like. (I assume the show's Adam Driver would be Stefon.)

Anyways, here is the only good photo I took of Seth.

Seth was great as well - not as good as John, but I'm very biased in that regard. The material was also pretty diametrically opposed to John's, much more domestic comedy about his wife and kids and their idiosyncracies.

I really liked Seth's energy and approach. I don't quite know how to explain this, but he had a touch of Dennis Reynolds energy to him, a restrained manicness, that was really interesting to watch. That's not my normal association with Seth's energy, either, but it was very fun. Definitely puts some of the more deranged things from his tenure as Weekend Update host in context.

Some highlights from Seth's set:

He had an amazing brick joke about doing accents as a comedian, where he imitated a Swedish accent and talked about how everyone's Swedish accent is basically the Swedish Chef from the Muppets and how the only Swedish food anyone has nearby is the meatballs at IKEA. Funny on its own, but later in the show, Seth talked about how people assume he's fully Jewish, including people on the street. He noted that he's 25% Swedish but no one comes up to him on the street and goes -insert Swedish Chef impression-. (This straight up killed the guy sitting next to me, who ended up laughing with his head in his hands for a solid 30 seconds.)

His kids eat very healthily, so when they end up going to friends' houses and eat one Skittle, they turn into demons. Literal demons. Seth's impression of an actual demon trying to undo a double-buckled car seat was the hardest I laughed at his whole set.

Seth also had a section which he claimed would be the part where he'd tell anti-trans jokes "if he was a complete asshole". I enjoyed the trans affirmation the whole evening, ngl.

Seth's family and his wife's family have very different ways of conversing at the dinner table, which directly mirrors my and my partner's family - Seth's family (like Mr. Lee's) is big on listening to everyone and contributing to conversations only when someone else has talked; Alexi's family (like mine) is constantly screaming over each other.

After Seth's set, everyone (including Brooks) came out to do a Q&A. I could not think of a song in the moment, but realized at the hotel room an hour after that I should have made @chiijohn 's evening by asking John's opinion on Planet of the Bass. :facepalm: Sorry mate!

Still, some great questions were asked, and it was about 30 minutes of just audience interaction. I've never experienced anything like it at a stand-up gig and genuinely loved it. John, of course, told people they were free to leave before the Q&A because why would they want to stay; the man is incapable of thinking anything good about himself and much as I hate his bad self-esteem, I would have been concerned if he hadn't said something to that effect.

Brooks was asked almost immediately if he remembered the name of Seth's show, which was honestly hilarious. Brooks said "I conferred with John backstage and we're both pretty sure that it's Late Night with Seth Meyers".

Someone asked how fearful Seth and John were of their shows being cancelled after one year, and Brooks snarked that he knew that feeling. (Brooks seems to have a good sense of humour about not being a huge presence on SNL.) Seth said that he wasn't super worried but that they redid his entire set (background set, not stand-up set) because Alec Baldwin said it looked like "a sushi restaurant in Burbank". (theoniontheworstpersonyouknow.jpg) John said he was told most HBO shows don't get cancelled at one season and he said "we'll see about that".

There was definitely some extended riffing on Alec Baldwin being a piece of shit afterwards, while John giggled helplessly. I love John's giggling.

Seth and John's favorite Muppet is Cookie Monster. They talked about how interesting it is that you can have amazing chemistry with Muppets, and then meet the puppeteer and have literally nothing to talk about. Seth also talked about how low-tech Big Bird was, and how the late Carroll Spinney, when on SNL, held a script in one hand, the controls of Big Bird in the other, and a flashlight in his mouth to read the script.

Everyone is upset they didn't get to cover the indictments because of the Writer's Strike. John thought there were only 3, but I honestly don't know if one of them came down before the Writer's Strike and he was just referring to the ones since then. It's been a long few months for us all.

Brooks basically forces John and Seth to get out of their hotel rooms when touring. Otherwise, Seth said, "they both just sit there anxious". That tracks, especially for John, who literally said on Seth's podcast that he is physically incapable of relaxing.

When asked about their influences, John said (rather obviously) that he wouldn't have a career without Jon Stewart, and Brooks talked about how both Seth and John really uplifted him and cared for him after he got fired from SNL. Seth talked in a really lovely way about how Amy Poehler basically adopted him and got him out of his shell and was a real friend to him early on.

I really wish I'd written down every stand-up that the three of them recommended when prompted, because I've completely blanked on half of them. Seth said Joe Pera (who I also highly recommend); John recommended Maria Bamford (again, also highly recommend). He also said that most people in the room would have probably not heard of him but that the best in the UK was Daniel Kitson (paging @tellthemeerkatsitsfine to provide her recs bc she knows Kitson backwards and fronts). Brooks gave a shout to Kyle Kinane (who I am not as familiar with as I should be).

There was so much more, but honestly, I was just so in the moment that I feel like I remember things in waves. It was an amazing evening and I was honestly so blessed to be there at all.

I did not wait at the stage door or anything, because I am truly not that kind of person and have consistently been sure that if I ever met John, I'd barf on his shoes. I know on Instagram some people had gotten stage door photos, though, and I'm happy for them!

Thank you all for always being supportive of this dumb blog. I don't think I would have had the confidence to go on this cross-country journey without you all randomly egging me on all the time. It was one of the best nights of my life. 💖💖

#john oliver #seth meyers #brooks wheelan #last week tonight #last week tonight with john oliver #late night with seth meyers #stand up #lee's stream of consciousness