#fuck I wish this pregnancy plot line never even happened it just was not a good decision to put this in the book on any front

[oathkeeperoxas]

Hello Serie!!! I would love to hear about 10, 18, and 20 for the behind the scenes asks. <3<3<3

10. Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

Exposition-->dialogue---->plot

I CAN write plot but like... its hard lmao. Much more filling and satisfactory to throw characters with their messy emotions at each other until some sort of conclusion happens

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

uhhhh well the thing is I have a Bad memory for things I have posted and so as soon as I post them the content is Gone from my brain... with some rare exceptions. Basically the entirety of invidia sticks out to me as good in like, a composition way, as I feel like I combo'd plot, vibes, metaphor, backstory, crunchy ideas and tension in a really neat way. But you already know that, so instead I'll talk about some of my oneshots from my codywan on tatooine series (I can't just pick one sorry they are my babies)

in what's real and going on below I finalised a few thoughts about how I was going to process trans Obi-Wan in not only that verse, but basically ALL of my writing. Slapping characters with my trans headcanons is all well and good, but over the last year and a half I've put a lot of myself into him 🥺 and I've basically teetered between going full wish fulfilment and then yoyoing back to my reality and everything in between. So much fic with trans characters has pregnancy as a straight up part of the integral plot, as if that is the only time we're allowed to be visible outside of porn - giving myself permission to explicitly push back against that as someone who has 0 desire to ever be pregnant was very cathartic. Writing Obi-Wan saying NO it is not possible for him to be pregnant and even if he could be he would not WANT to be, was just... a lot, and I didn't expect it to be! Not to say that I will never write about a trans pregnant person (I literally have pregnant Obi-Wan fic posted right now) but freeing myself from that expectation even to myself was quite the weight off that I didn't even realise was there. On a less serious note I also enjoy this fic as it was born out me memeing to myself when editing chapter 1 of darkest before the dawn and going 'lmao they rly just fucked raw and Cody didn't give ONE thought to the possible consequences. sex ed on kamino must be shit' so also following up on that was satisfying from a writing/plot perspective

in a state of constant repair there was a lot going on - it was fun to do from a composition view as it is kinda a 5+1 fic with the snippets taken from across the entire timeline of the series it belongs in, and getting to revisit some of the earlier era was fun, especially to look at where the gaps were and what happened offscreen, and what I actually wanted to show onscreen. My favourite part was tying up all the threads that I had dropped in the previous 150k of the series regarding the history that Cody and Obi-Wan were writing of the war and the TRUE story of the clones, which I started in darkest before the dawn and expanded a little on within Evolve | Revolve and which made me go yess hahaha yesssss because I am quite taken with history, have studied it and contributed to it, and throwing my irl interests in with my fandom interests sparks joy! So giving that power, closure, and release to Cody through the ability to write his own history and choose his own story just, slaps very hard okay

in sky's a changin' I think I am quite proud of how I threaded the needle of all the topics I wanted to cover - Luke's questioning of his past, his father, his name, and where he came from, versus his burgeoning understanding of the Force, of Ben and Cody, and of the mysterious past that he's starting to see that binds them all together. He's growing up! Getting all that info together in a way that felt organic and fit into a fic under 5k felt like a real achievement.

What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?

BERU!! Me starting my codywan on tatooine series like yeah she's there, meanwhile she storms up to me, shakes me and tells me her entire character like WHAT happened there. Then she was ready to blast guys in the Kenobi show too which made me all the more fond of her <3

Thank you for the questions!!!

Behind the scenes writer's ask meme

#this is probably... more than you thought you'd get haha #but i am doing my end of year reflecting and thinking and like. man. i covered some ground this year huh #ask meme #elwenyere

[sidemari]

May I possibly ask for some Scaramouche angst-to-fluff? If you’re comfortable I’d like to see a possible Fem Reader and he gets her pregnant on accident. She’s scared so she avoids him. I can imagine Ei or someone saying ‘oh yeah I feel a familiar power and presence inside her’. It’s kind of a dream I had but I don’t write myself lol. I feel like we see a lot of mean Scara but he’s just actually bitter, jealous and clueless? Hbfbfb anyway. A oneshot would be good but if it’s too much you can decide on some other format! I wish you well! Pls ignore if you don’t feel like doing this ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for your wonderful writing

• Promise •

An one-shot about having a baby with Scara :)

Character included: Scaramouche x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Spoiler from one of the Archon Quests of Inazuma, pregnancy mentions, mild angst-to- fluff, swearing.

Author's note: Heyo, my anon! I changed some things of the plot, I hope it doesn't bother you. Thanks for the love and enjoy <3

The three quick tests you made that night didn't lie to you. Nor did all of the symptoms you were feeling the three last weeks.

'Two lines... Two lines, fuck! No one can know about this, specially him'

"Hey, when will you get out of this bathroom?" Scaramouche's voice sounded almost irritated.

"I'm sorry babe, I-" He forced the door to enter the place you were in, but the door was locked, thankfully.

"Come on! You've been there for so long, (Name)! What's happening?"

"Give me five minutes, okay? And I'll be in bed with you" Scaramouche sighed in defeat with your line, coming back to his first spot to wait for you.

You took a bit longer than five minutes buy you managed to throw all the evidences you had taken some pregnancy tests.

"I'm back, Scara" You said faking happiness.

"You took ages inside that bathroom. What were you doing?"

"Nothing worth attention, Scara. It's alright, I promise" He scoffed your line, getting comfortable to sleep.

"That little light that comes from under the locked door didn’t let me sleep until now" He said bluntly.

"I'm sorry... But you will sleep well now-"

"I was only joking, don't get yourself worked up over nothing. Um, goodnight, I guess"

"Goodnight, love"  That last word tasted bitter as you covered yourself with the blanket in that cold night of Snezhnaya. The night you discovered you were carrying the Fatui Harbinger's child.

'This was... A mistake, an accident' You thought. 'I took all of my pills and... No, I skipped some days because of how stressful my missions were that week' You watched Scaramouche as he slept with tranquility, such a different feeling from yours.

'I can’t have this baby and stay by his side. We never talked about having kids and... I was careless with my medication. Scaramouche will despise me and this baby' You kept overthinking, already feeling overwhelmed with the news.

'How will I even fake I'm doing ok for him and for the Fatui? I'm a harbinger too, afterall. I won't be able to keep fighting the Tsaritsa enemies if I keep this baby, it's too dangerous for them and for me' You tried to recall how many weeks ago you had skipped your medication at least to have an idea of how many weeks into your pregnancy you were.

'10 up to 12 weeks ago, next to Scara birthday was when I failed taking my birth control. How could I not notice I missed my period two times in a row? Am I so stressed out like this I left my own health aside?'

'I even fought for the fatui being pregnant. That's the explanation why I couldn't finish their enemies alone. I was already two months pregnant and already felt a difference in my strength. Now, I'm three months into bringing a baby into this world'

Scaramouche moved around on the bed as he slept, but you didn't get any kind of sleep that night.

The next day you felt exhausted without any effort. Yet, you and your lover had a dreadfully hard mission that day. That would be the last one before you break your contract with the Fatui.

The morning sickness was there, bothering you as you got ready to leave Snezhnaya to go to Inazuma.

'I can't fail now... I need to at least arrive Inazuma, that's for sure'

"(Name)? Why are you so quiet?" If at least he knew what was going on inside your mind or how loud your thoughts were since last night.

"I'm not feeling so well, but I'll be good"

"Will you be able to fight?" That line triggered your fear of loosing your baby because of the selfish desires of the Tsaritsa.

"If necessary, yes" You said without any confidence.

"It's always necessary, doll. That's how things work, right?" But you kept silent.

You had barely touched your breakfast when Scaramouche got ready to leave.

"We should go now"

"Already? But I-"

"We're running late"

"I'll eat something as we walk then" Some protein bars weren't the best option out there, but they were what you had in hands.

When would you tell him that you'd live in Inazuma from now on?

That you'd leave your life with the fatui and Snezhnaya behind?

That your relationship would probably end at some point?

"Scara" You called him on the forth day of your journey, after you both had reached the Minlin portion of Liyue Nation. "I need to rest... I'm exhausted"

"We need to keep going by foot now, we're way too distant from Liyue Harbor still. Besides, our last four days were spent inside a ship. How can you be so tired?"

You couldn't keep overwhelming your body like that. Even if you were in the beginning of your pregnancy, you already had been through so much those last weeks it was hard to believe your kid was doing okay.

"Let's keep going, then. I can do it..."

Scaramouche noticed that your behavior had changed.

You weren't like that.

You almost never asked for breaks, you walked faster and you could handle exhaustion perhaps even better than him.

A long journey by foot started and in some hours you both arrived at Liyue Harbor late night.

"Scaramouche, I really need to rest now"

"We have to enter the Fatui's ship now or else our mission will be a failure" He said bitterly, not wanting to know about your problems or how you felt that moment. Completely defeated, you followed him into the heart of that harbor until you finally spotted the ship.

Some minutes after the ship had started its journey, you felt weak and lethargic. Scaramouche finally gave you a close look after all those days. You were exhausted, your skin looked pale and you were sweating cold.

"Come here, this ship has some cabins" He said, guiding you by holding your hand. "You have been sleeping and eating poorly... You look almost sick" He helped you to lay down on the single bed of that cabin, before he could get real food for you. Not only sunsettia or berries like those last days.

But once he returned the cabin, you were fast asleep, leaving him with a guilty sensation.

Scaramouche watched you sleeping. Even if that was better than camping, the bed wasn't really comfortable. Caressing your hair, he admitted to himself he hadn't respected your limits, even if that was for a greater reason.

Something was indeed off, but the harbinger couldn't tell what was happening, no matter how hard he tried to understand your behavior.

In some days you were in Inazuma by Scaramouche's side on the mission to steal the Electro Archon's Gnosis.

It wasn't hard to catch the attention of the Shogun Raiden when one of her puppets was by your side, but no move was made from the both of you or her during one week or so.

"Scaramouche... I'll stop here" You said bluntly one night.

"What? Why?"

"I'll break my contract with the Tsaritsa once you give her the Gnosis" He was confused yet he wasn't mad with the decision. Scaramouche himself wasn't that loyal to the Fatui. He could always betray them for his own good. "Then I won't be able to go back to Snezhnaya again. I won't be welcome there. I will start things again here on Inazuma"

"Why all of this so suddenly?"

"I can't risk fighting with the Shogun Raiden herself nor I will follow you anywhere else" He chuckled dryly.

"So that was your intention since the beginning? Getting stronger with the help of the Fatui then using me as your pawn to guide yourself to another nation?"

"Scaramouche..." You didn't had the guts to say the truth. "I can’t risk to-" You couldn't finish your line before both of you were teleported to The Plane of Euthymia.

The Archon knew you both were at her nation and she knew your partner's intention with the back of her hand.

"Scaramouche" The Shogun Raiden said with disdain. "We finally meet again"

"After you disposed me because I wasn't perfect as you wished" He said back.

"But I see you now have your own ambitions and you even found love" She looked to you, but her eyes didn't carry rage or contempt, on the contrary, the Archon looked at you with admiration and curiosity.

"You're carrying a blessing" She said and you nodded, feeling too overwhelmed to say anything. "You're strong, but your health is now fragile and you can't risk loosing the child inside your womb"

Scaramouche was completely silent as his mind way too messed up to understand everything that was happening.

"Child?" The harbinger asked.

"Can't you feel the familiar power inside of her? The same power that once united me and you, Kunikuzushi?" The Archon said his true name quietly, almost bitterly.

"That's what you've been hiding from me?"

"She didn't feel safe to tell you so. She was and still is afraid of exposing the truth"

"Ei..." You called her by her personal name, thankful that she was saying the truth instead of you.

"You neglected her health and didn't respect her limits to arrive here and take this thing from me. I hope you know what do to with it, at least" She gave her Gnosis to the person who once could have been her puppet. "And I hope you treat (Name) way more kindly from now on. Afterall, she's carrying your son and she gave you a chance when everyone thought you were worthless" And with that, The Plan of Euthymia was dispersed.

"Scaramouche...?" You called for him, noticing you weren't in the same place before meeting the Electro Archon.

"I'm here with you, don't worry. I'll never leave your side, or his, for that matter" He brought your body close to his, hugging you from behind. "I love you both and I'll keep my promise of protecting you. I don't mind at which cost" His fingers softly traced patterns against the fabric that covered your lower belly.

You sighed in relief. You could finally count on him, after all that time.

#scaramouche fluff #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche angst #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin scenarios #genshin impact

[summers-pratt]

The more I hear about ATS, the less appealing the idea of watching it becomes, and the more I hear about ATS!Angel, the less appealing his character becomes (I mean the bar was already six feet below the ground, but that’s besides the point).

(Some slight general spoilers for Angel: the Series ahead so if you do want to watch it without knowing anything going in, be aware)

Yeah it is not a great time lol I only watched it bc I didn't know who all these people who kept popping up in post-chosen fics were and learned they were ats characters, so I was like "well I guess I have to watch this now" but overall it is,,,not the best. It does make Angel's character way worse than it does in btvs (and yeah like you said, already a pretty low bar), and while it was annoying (to say the least) to watch five seasons of this fucking guy just making worse and worse decisions and screwing over more and more people, and have the writers still try to present this awful guy as a protagonist you should root for, it does paint him in an awful light, which was weirdly validating for someone who never was a fan of him in the first place. So yeah it's not fun, but in the process of making him some kind of anti-hero, it does shit on Angel a lot, which was nice.

That said, there are good parts that make it bearable; the Angel shitting for one. It also elaborates on the demon world, and has more grey area type demons that have more human-like personalities and are actually Characters, not just Bad Guys to kill; they are actually people, and it's really fun. I wish btvs had more of that, I think more complex demon characters are a lot more interesting than the mindless nasties we typically see (shoutout to Clem my beloved for breaking that mold in btvs). For example, Lorne is one of my favorite buffyverse characters and he runs a karaoke bar (and is very heavily queercoded but oops can't make that explict or ratings would go down i guess idk fuck that tho he's gay and I love him) and he is just generally a fantastic character. Other great characters include Cordelia, who of course is a lot of fun and she gets to grow a lot and I ended up liking her even more; Fred is adorable (though I think she should've been gay but that's just me) and Amy Acker acts her ass off in the last season it's truly phenomenal oh my god; Darla comes back for a bit which is fun and she has some of the most gut wrenching lines, they alone almost make the entire show worth watching, Julie Benz is a gift; Gunn is really cool and plays off other characters well and is just generally a really fun character; and of course Spike comes back in the last season (which was the other main reason I watched this show bc I love him). However. All of these characters (and more!) get screwed over by the writers. Repeatedly. I'm talking multiple (yes. Multiple.) unwanted/nonconsenual pregnancies, I'm talking killing off characters, I'm talking screwing up character arcs, I'm talking not watching the last three seasons of btvs and completely not understanding a character so bad you undo seasons worth of development. Also, as a whole, the show just does not like women. Like, by the end of it (spoilers ahead), every major female character is killed off in some way. And the way they each die is not meaningful or even cool, it just happens and the male characters around them get to react to it and use it to further develop and continue on their arcs. It's bullshit. Every character that you like ends up dying or turning into something very much not them. It sucks. Also the plot is just hard to follow and makes absolutely no sometimes and is just straight dogshit at others.

Broad strokes, it's a bad show. But there are good parts that make me glad I watched it. If you do watch it, you really only need to half pay attention to it to get what you need to out of it, in my opinion. If nothing else, I like that I know more about the world and it makes fic a little more fun to read when you know the characters from it. Also know if you do watch it, most other btvs fans (from what I can tell) also don't like it, so you're in good company lol

Happy watching! (or not watching!)

#ask

[flowerwrites06]

break my mind’s eye VIII — jjk

Plot: Jungkook thinks marriage is the only way to seal a deal.

Pairing(s): Druglord!Jungkook x Fashion Designer!OC (Name: Belle)

Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+

Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series

Parts: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Special 

Word Count: 7k+

Genre: Mafia | Angst/Smut/Fluff

Tags & Warnings (for entire series): drug dealing, marriage through trickery, explicit smut, drug use, dubious consent, prostitution, miscarriage, lots of manipulation, impregnation through manipulation 

Picturesque day framed by the window of the brightly lit clinic, cool air swirling around them aiding Belle’s anxiety in whatever slight way it could. Fingers gripped at her knitted lavender cardigan, pressing her legs together to somehow prevent more chill to flow through the white floral dress. She seemed to focus on every other little thing while the man in a white coat in front of quickly typed and clicked in his own time.

“Congratulations, Mrs. Jeon.” The doctor smiled as if he just confirmed the happiness of a new family.

Six weeks passed since Belle took the dozens of pregnancy tests haunting her with pink pluses until finally the doctor gave the final verdict. Thankfully with the Spring Line show coming in close to around a couple months, she was able to avoid any conversation of whether the ritual worked.

Ritual. Fucking hell what year was this?

Her silence caused a slight awkward confusion to grip the doctor’s face, almost as if he was inching close to a verdict that something was wrong.

Nothing should be wrong, Belle reminded herself. Happy relationship, remember?

The woman quickly adorned the perfect smile on her face using her glossy eyes as the sparkle of joy. “Sorry…it’s just all very exciting to take in.” She chuckled and thankfully the doctor was immediately convinced giving her a proper smile.

“Of course—very happy news though. I’m sure your entire family would be elated.” His grin stretched from ear to ear like he was related to her some way.

Then again anyone who so much as knew the Jeon family seemed to have that mindset.

“I’ll have your report prepared in just a few minutes, Mrs. Jeon.” He nodded in reassurance while Belle leaned back on the chair.

Gaze moved to the window looking out at the people strolling back and forth living their lives. She wondered how many were living by their own accord. Based on their own needs. Were they happy with where they were? Some rushing in suits trying not to drop their coffees, mothers and fathers pushing their strollers with toddlers skipping next to them and then couples walking calmly in casual clothing.

When she was younger, Belle told herself she would not end up in any of those situations. She would get a car, halt on marriage and kids while focusing on her career entirely until her thirties at the very least.

The naivety of dreams. Dreams of a life no one could ever control. Dreams that were already in the hands of fate.

“Mrs. Jeon?” The doctor addressed for the third time.

Belle finally realized that was her name now, stripping back to reality. Even her name was not under her control any more. Legally she had her original name but people wouldn’t care. Taking the husband’s name was more popular. So now she was officially Mrs. Jeon to society.

Quickly smiling she accepted the envelope handed to her and bowed slightly. “Thank you, doctor.”

-

Walking out of the clinic into the beautiful day, she spotted Yoongi leaning back against the side of the car with his arms folded over his chest. Raven hair a little longer now hovering over his eyes as he watched her taking a deep breath at the entrance stairs. “So?” He asked, squinting a little in the sunlight.

“What do you think?” Belle mumbled with the envelope heavy in her hand much like the twisted feeling in her stomach. Stepping down to the end of the stairs, she looked around every corner that was visible to her. Scanning for any movement.

“No peeping in the bushes, don’t worry.” The older male reassured, pushing off the car and opening the door for the new mob queen. Even though he would never use that term in front of her without risking a kick on his foot.

Strolling to the other side of the car, Yoongi couldn’t help but mimic Belle’s scanning and ended up seeing a figure lurking in one of the alleys. Not that he was proud of it but Yoongi pretended to reach into his coat for a gun which evidently caused the figure to rush out to the streets.

“Fucking reporters.” Yoongi muttered under his breath before climbing back into the car and driving them back to the mansion.

-

Being invited to Sangria House during the day had not been on Taehyung’s to-do list but here he was anyway being driven to the establishment, by Kim Seokjin’s personal request.

The establishment exuded a different aura during the day as they parked to a halt in front of it. Flowers adorned the entrance in an arch matching the blossom trees behind the building creating a beautiful frame, most of the angels strolling around with their customers linked in hand while a lot of the juniors were simply having picnics under on the ground like it was their own paradise rather than people who entered.

As he walked into the makeshift garden, white coats welcomed him with a bow and led him into the private room with a brief statement of having a full days’ appointment with the best angel in the House.

Full day. Seokjin seemed to know his way around apologizing, he supposed.

Even on the inside things were so much more different. Customers were eating food normally instead chortling the whole way through; they were genuinely having good conversations with the red and lavender coats as if it was not going to lead anywhere. Purple drapes were replaced with more floral arrangements in strings trailing across the walls and he could have sworn butterflies passed them a moment ago.

The white coats stopped down the hallway to a familiar door knocking politely first.

Taehyung already had an achingly strong hope of who to see on the other side of the door.

And thank god, luck was on his side today.

The door opened and gracing him with her presence stood Angel in a different attire. It was still golden but a more casual hanbok with intricate floral designs on the overcoat that shimmer in the light against the silk. Less extravagance but more quality. Taehyung could immediately recognize who designed the dress.

Angel’s heart swelled finally being able to see the man again especially after the horrid way he was dragged out. She could still remember all the things he told her…all the things that haunted him now slowly taunted her.

Once the door closed behind Taehyung, the golden lady padded closer to the male.

Eyes moved around his body before she took a leap to cup his cheeks. “You’re okay.” A bright grin spread across her lips but her forehead knitted like she was close to crying. “Come in.” Gently Angel took his hand and walked to the table.

Taehyung couldn’t help but feel his entire body relax into her touch, leaning slightly into her touch before happily holding her hand. “You did full day appointments too?” He would have asked for that package in a heartbeat.

Angel smiled as they sat next to each other this time, shoulders brushing together. “No this is not a normal thing. Mr. Kim just wanted to apologize for the inconvenience caused last time.” She reached out and gave him some rice cakes. “I know you probably don’t want our tea right now so…I asked them to make these.” She pulled apart one rice cake in half and took the first bite to ensure him that it was safe to eat.

Warmth spread across his chest watching how her cheeks puffed when she ate, hiding her mouth and smiling, trying to stay elegant but still enjoy the taste. Taehyung had the strongest urge to press little kisses on her adorable cheeks.

The golden lady held up the other half of the cake to his mouth, giving him a reassuring smile that it was okay to eat.

Taehyung was not proud to admit that it did not matter if she offered him literal poison, he would still drink it just so the last thing he saw was that fucking smile. Though the cake did smell heavenly. Opening his mouth slightly he waited until Angel brought the cake so close that it brushed against his lips before he took the treat into his mouth. As soon as Taehyung bit into the soft texture, a burst of warm sweetness burst through and he felt a small lump in his throat.

How long had it been since he was able to really taste something properly? The man could never tell whether he was healing or not in the process of vomiting, taking medications and other methods Taehyung deemed boring or painful. It was only now at this incredibly simple moment of recalling just how tasty a rice cake was. How much he loved it in the years before.

“Is it bad?” Angel noticed the smile faded from his face. “I could go get something else.” She tried to get up but Taehyung softly touched her arm.

“No I’m just—” Taehyung chuckled after swallowing, eyes a little glossy as he met her gaze. “I haven’t had rice cake in a long time. It was really nice.”

She relaxed once more sitting next to him allowing a comfortable silence to seep through the air for a few moments.

Eventually the curiosity peeked far too much for her to control. “So…how was the wedding?”

A boulder seemed to drop and crash onto the hope of relaxing in this session now the question lingered. Taehyung could not blame Angel for being curious as she probably had been working the whole time it was happening.

But now he was reminded of the things other than the actual ceremony. The fake vows and calculated kiss under the blossom trees was more for the press.

Taehyung learned the hard way that the real ceremony was behind closed doors. He only found out after it happened because every relative from the Jeon family wanted to chat with him giving him no time to go and check on his sister. Now he wished he just pushed past all of them and ran to her.

It was too late though. By the time Taehyung got the chance to see Belle in the early morning, she was already in tears and shaking beyond belief before jumping into his embrace. She did not say a word to him or anyone for that matter. The whole two nights they were there, his sister stayed quiet merely smiling to the people who didn’t matter. When he found out about the secret ceremony Taehyung did the same.

With Jungkook, he didn’t even bother smiling. Every time he came close his fingers automatically curled into a fist conjuring up all the ways he could just get rid of him.

Now more than ever Taehyung grew aware that his baby sister was going through pain beyond belief while he healed. Aside from the heart clenching sadness, he grew determined to see an end for Jeon Jungkook.

“Taehyung?” Angel placed a hand on his arm gently before pulling away quickly. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer.” Her fingers played with the fabric of her dress with her head hanging.

Taehyung jumped back to his current state and shook his head quickly. “No—” He shifted closer until his hand rested behind her. “No it’s okay. Please ask me anything you want.” He gave her a reassuring smile trying to meet her gaze again.

The golden lady’s eyes flickered up see him so close that the warmth of his body radiated onto her.

“The wedding—” He sighed. “The wedding was beautiful…in a sense, I suppose.” Taehyung spoke with bitterness touching his tongue, pursing his lips together. He wondered for a moment if it were too much to speak these things out. Were these walls thick enough the hold the dark thoughts in his head long enough? Was it worth it show a side of him to Angel that he despised? A side of him created as soon as Belle told him, holding a teary smile that she was going to marry a monster and bear his child for his own benefit.

It turns out that part of Taehyung didn’t care who saw or heard him. “Do you ever have that situation where—you despise someone so much—because they’ve hurt you or someone important to you?—a hatred that runs so deep, the mere thought of them—” He huffed out a breath to somehow to cool down the anger erupting inside him. “Makes you thinks things unimaginable.”

Angel’s chest rose and fell slightly as her eyes now grew glossy. In a rush of painful memory, she remembered those words rushing in her own mind at some point. “Yes.” She muttered immediately pressing her lips together. All the nights of hiding in a bathroom and covering her ears hoping that her ex-husband would just pass out drunk. The way she trained herself to zone out every time he climbed on top of her.

Eyes shining and vision blurring just a little but enough to see Taehyung’s welcoming features so she could feel at ease. “You end up stripping them down to being nothing but a human. Not someone powerful…or someone with status that you can’t touch…Just a human. Vulnerable…soft…if you just grabbed a knife and stuck it at the right place. They’re nothing but meat.”

Taehyung’s expression softened hearing such a composed woman speak out the unimaginable things in his mind already. “What if that powerful person is Jeon Jungkook?” It was not something he didn’t think about before. There were dark points in his time living in that place knowing the man was just sleeping soundly in the room with no one really watching over him.

“You can’t do that.” She shook her head.

“But you said—”

“No, Taehyung—your sister is now a Jeon.” Angel raised a hand to ensure that the man listens to her every word. “If you sister is widowed in the Jeon family, it won’t bode well on her. She’ll be tied down to the family until her death. If Jungkook is doing something then there needs to be a divorce.”

“How do you know all that?” His brows furrowed.

“Seok—Mr. Kim told me a story that Jeon Boyoung was a widow…she had to marry someone arranged by the family a day later. It’s a terrible life, Taehyung, remarried widows are not given any kind of respect in the family. The new husbands are allowed to be unfaithful to them or abusive to them without any consequence. The only reason Boyoung is doing somewhat well is because she is a Jeon by birth. Belle isn’t.” Concern riddled her expression hoping to the high heavens Taehyung understood what she was saying. “Jungkook cannot be killed while they’re still married.”

Taehyung shifted in his position feeling a slap of clarity right across his face. “Seokjin—how does he know all these things?” He shook his head. “And how does Belle get a divorce? That family controls everything.”

“Not everything.” Angel whispered so low, she had to lean closer to him. “Belle needs someone to support her alibi. Someone just as powerful as the Jeons. It’s not just them that controls everything, there are other influential people in the city.”

“How am I supposed to find someone just as powerful?”

Sighing shakily, she glanced around the room before moving to stand on her feet. A quick smile tugged at her lips almost as if this whole conversation never happened. “Would you like a take a stroll with me, Mr. Kim?”

Taehyung nodded before trying to return her smile, standing up as his mind filled with nothing but confusion.

-

By the time they reached the mansion the envelope in Belles hand scrunched up as if it has been read a million times already. She tried smoothing it out a little when the car parked but it still look just about as messed up as her mind orientation. Crinkles mimicking a drought riddled land and light stains of foundation remnants from her fingers.

Yoongi climbed out of the car first as the two guards from the front walked a bit closer. Standing on her side now, he waited for her to take a break to breathe before opening the door and watching her step out. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be waiting just outside the room.” He muttered as they moved to enter the mansion.

Guards as usual welcomed them with a bow and Belle had the urge increase her pace towards the second living room, her heart racing at the same speed. Fingers shook, body burned from her toes to her head and her legs moved slower than normal at the lack of concentration. She hated wearing a lavender cardigan today because the colour looked far bright for her actual mood.

Looking over her shoulder, Belle saw Yoongi standing with his hands in his jacket, giving her a reassuring nod.

She couldn’t hide it for too long. At some point it was going to get difficult to avoid everyone on the truth. Especially Jungkook.

For a moment Belle paused again hearing muffled voices on the other side of the office door. A usual sound now for the past few weeks. Padding closer to the wooden barrier, only one voice stood out like a teacher scolding an empty classroom. It would be easy to just turn away with the excuse that Jungkook was too busy but no one should be too busy for this. At least in her mind.

She stood close to the door that someone might mistake her for kissing it. Closing her eyes, Belle knocked twice before opening the door just enough to walk inside.

“Move the surviving associates to the other dens, fucking fight back next time!” Jungkook growled slamming the phone down so hard that she heard a crack. He stepped away from the phone, rubbing his face with a frustrated sigh padding through him.

Belle stood inside the room, immediately regretting that she entered but it had be done now or the courage would never arrive again. “Jungkook?”

“Not now.” He muttered without even giving her sideways glance.

Anxiety faded a little; the same heat but it ignited a different kind of fire in her belly. “Yes now.” She spoke firmly, lips pursed together.

Slightly reddened eyes met Belle’s gaze as he padded over to the table once again more, leaning on the edge, dark curls falling over his face. Jungkook tried to control his heavy breathing but it only seemed to get worse when he started thinking about it. “Belle, I’m not in the mood for any more drama today, alright?” He shook his head slowly, hands nearly trembling with fury.

Belle sighed to calm the fire down somehow as the envelope grew so heavy in her hand, she worried her grip would relinquish without her knowing. “This is important.” She took a step forward but quickly jumped back.

Jungkook knocked the phone off the table with the back of his hand, harsh thuds and broken rings echoing throughout the room. “Important?! What could be so fucking important that you can’t give me a moment of peace?” He stomped across from the table almost leaving steam behind him.

“My entire goddamn empire is breaking apart into pieces!” He threw his hand towards the fallen phone as his feet nearly stepped over hers. “I’m sure whatever you have to say can fucking wait.” Hot breath brushed against her already warmed up face.

“It can’t fucking wait!” Belle shouted back despite her mouth feeling incredibly dry, the heat around them collecting and making her a little dizzy. “This—” She jabbed the envelope at his chest not really caring whether it caught or not as it dropped to the ground. “This is what your screwed up family wanted, you got it.”

Eyes burned with tears once again, stomach clenching and her head spinning abnormally. “You won.” She smiled sadly. “Congratulations.” She seethed turning on her heel and stomping out of the door, slamming it so hard that it echoed through the whole mansion.

Stomach twisted in such a way that it almost meant to give Belle as much pain as humanly possible making her wince while tears forcibly streamed down her face. She rushed across the second living room completely ignoring Yoongi who tried to call out her name.

It didn’t take a genius to see that breaking the news had been worse than he expected. The family wanted the damn baby so why did he have to see Belle running out with one of the most heartbreaking expression he had ever seen on the girl? And Yoongi had seen a lot, much to his own discontent.

Yoongi tried to open his mouth to say something but Belle already flashed past leaving the gust of wind behind with her speed. If he knew what happened then it would be easier, right now nothing but confusion and a little sadness gripped his face.

“Get my car ready, please.” Belle announced to one of the guards who immediately bowed and rushed off to do her bidding.

The older male lurked at the edge of the second living room and watched a young looked guards who he remembered was called Jongho. One of Belle’s regular guards who usually kept an eye on her the most. The amount of influence this woman had in the entire Jeon mansion honestly could frighten even Yoongi. Every guards seemed to lose their composure and give her a sad look as if wanting to comfort her in her time of need.

Jongho leaned in a little to hear her whisper, possibly about her location because it had to be known to someone just in case. The young guard nodded and opened the double doors for her.

Yoongi would have rushed to the girl and provided some comfort but if she purposely ignored him then it was clear that her intention was to be alone. All he knew was no woman should ever come out looking that fucking upset after trying to tell their husband she was having their baby.

Jungkook tightened his jaw as the sound of the door still rung in the air. Roughly raking his fingers through his hair as if he was pulling it from the roots, gaze flickered down to the discarded envelope. Crouching down Jungkook picked up the slightly crumpled paper and ripped it open letting the little pieces drip carelessly to the ground.

His heart began to race when he saw a doctor’s pregnancy test report details. Forehead knitted reading through the report until the word ‘results’ caught his eye.

Then in big capital letters, his mistake came crashing down harder than a bag of bricks to his head.

POSITIVE.

All the anger faded away quicker than Jungkook prepared for as it replaced with a painful clench in his chest and the whole world momentarily crashing down on him.

The ritual worked.

‘You won’ she said.

His family won.

The walls of his mind closed in on itself tightly not knowing whether to spread elation or guilt through his body. Instead a deadly mixture of both feelings pumped in his veins making his fingers tremble for a whole different reason.

Jungkooks’ biggest den had been infiltrated by the police, once again with the mayor’s direct orders and the speculations of his hand being involved grew stronger by the day. He knew with all his heart how important it was to keep his business and empire safe but now…

What was more important now?

Something wet dropped onto the paper soaking through the ‘I’ and ‘E’ of the word ‘positive’ bringing him back to reality. Jungkook sniffled quickly, wiping away the tiny trickles of tears escaping down his cheek before opening the door.

“Where is she?” The question posed and everyone’s eyes were on him now, even the maids paused in their tracks to look at him. Could they notice the tears gathering in his eyes? Once again Jungkook had to succumb to feeling like a lost boy who didn’t know what to do without the guidance of his family.

Hair over his face managed to cover most of his distress but Yoongi only had to glance down at the paper clasped tightly in the younger male’s hand to know why.

“She drove out.” He nodded towards the entrance.

Jungkook did not utter another word before practically rushing out of the second living room but immediately paused when Yoongi stood in front of him.

He raised his hands in defense seeing Jungkooks’ glossy eyes burning into him at the disrespectful action. “Sorry, sir but—I believe your wife wanted to be alone right now.” Yoongi attempted to explain in the most careful way possible. Though his mind conjured much more colorful words. The last person she wants to see is the dickhead who impregnated her against her will.

Anger burned to his very core seeing Yoongi speak to him so casually. “Do you even know where she went? What if she gets into danger?!” Jungkook growled making the maids jump back and frantically continue on with their work.

Fortunately Yoongi had been significantly numbed to acts of intimidation. “I know where she is and she’ll be as just as safe there as she would be here. You don’t have to worry.” He shook his head, trying to keep his voice calm and collected.

“But—” Jungkook held up the paper pathetically, sighing shakily.

“I know…I went to the clinic with her.” Yoongi nodded. “She’s okay. She just needs a little space, it’s completely normal.”

It’s not normal and she wasn’t okay but he really just needed to live right now.

Jungkook had the strongest want to keep fighting and just push past to find her but where would that even lead? Ever since that night, Belle couldn’t even look at him properly. Honestly he didn’t have the courage to look at himself either. All his life his parents taught him that the family customs existed for good reasons. Reasons which kept them alive for so long. As a naïve child he found himself never finding anything wrong with these customs.

Until he had to go through them. Along with dragging the woman he grew to care about into it.

Turning away from Yoongi, Jungkook dragged his feet towards one of the couches in the second living room and slumped down.

“I made her think it wasn’t important.” He stared at the paper, reading the same word over and over again. “My father would always tell me how happy he was when my mother told him she was pregnant.” Jungkook scoffed, his vision blurring a little. “He picked her up and twirled her around right in front of all his men not giving a care if he would look weak.”

Yoongi pursed his lips together leaning on the wall behind him.

“Family makes you stronger, he said. Nothing stronger than family.” Jungkook pressed down the inner corners of his eyes with his index finger and thumb, shutting his eyes tightly to stop any more tears from flowing.

“Anyone can pretend to be happy at first.” Yoongi spoke plainly. “It’s what you do for the next twenty years that actually counts.”

Jungkook licked his trembling lips not completely convinced but it wouldn’t be the first time he succumbed to the alluring beauty of a lie.

-

Clouds spread out to welcome the heavenly blue and golden warmth as Belle padded across the entrance gardens of the Sangria House. For a second, a few people stopped with their usual activities to stare at her, twist of recognition on their faces. With a sigh Belle hugged her cardigan again being the only comfort for today despite the colour being so harsh on her tired eyes.

Through the entrance doors, she looked around the area like a slightly lost puppy. The lobby used most of the natural light making it look like a beach hut of some sort as the warmth was now replaced with fresh cool air.

Belle hoped with all her soul that the person she wanted could just appear right here out of luck. Unfortunately luck was not a trustworthy friend in recent months.

More eyes now fixated on her presence and a figure even padded towards her; tall with lines adorning his face, tattoo peeking out from his shirt and a smirk playing on his lips.

“Are you open?” The man’s gaze trailed up and down her body. Waft of cologne and tobacco swirling around his aura as he moved closer.

“Excuse me?” Brows furrowed but before she could channel any more of her frustration, a red coat rushed over to her side.

“Sorry, Mrs. Jeon…” The red coat bowed in a meek tone even though it was not her fault in the slightest.

The rude customers’ smile immediately disappeared into a look of despair and fear, widened eyes staring back at Belle. “Mrs. Jeon…” He bowed so low that he almost vanished from her line of vision. “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you.”

“Would you have continued on with your shenanigans if I wasn’t Mrs. Jeon?” She glared down at the male.

He gripped at the fabric of his trousers tightly, still bent down as if ready to be flogged.

“I assumed too quickly, Mrs. Jeon. Please accept my deepest apologies.” His voice shook slightly knowing the smallest word to Jungkook about this behavior would end in a whole lot of limbs being lost.

Belle sighed lightly, averting her gaze. “It’s alright. Just make sure I don’t find you doing it again.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Jeon…” The man smiled giving repeated bows as he backed away. “You are most kind.”

The man now led away by the red coat, Belle was being hosted by one of the white coats who asked what she needed today.

The previous aching in her stomach seemed to get worse despite getting the fresh air while even the mildest rush of heat from the day increased tenfold when it reached her skin.

Oh god…not now.

“Park Jimin, please. If he’s free.” Belle spoke, her strength wavering a little as every part tried to suppress the pain in her chest pushing something up to her throat.

Giving her another bow the white coat led her off to one of the private rooms.

Once again her feet seemed drag across the floor like the world moved too much to catch up properly. More swirling around in Belle’s head, the bitterness in her throat erupted with cruel strength, forcing her to grip on the edge of the door to steady herself.

“Mrs. Jeon? Are you okay?” The white coats’ hands hovered over her to prevent any dreaded fall but distant enough for manners.

Belle gave her a shaky smile through she still held onto the edge as if her life depended on it. “Just a little queasy…” Stomach clenched again and her mind grew stubborn, only thinking about something heavy being pushed up her throat almost choking her. “Is there a—” She tried to swallow it down but it seemed to get more violent. “Is there a bathroom anywhere?”

Her eyes widened before quickly nodding and gesturing towards the private room. “This has a bathroom, madam.” The younger girl tried to gently lead her inside where a small door stood closed.

Passing the little empty table, Belle felt saliva flooding inside her mouth until drool almost leaked out of the sides forcing her to burst open through the door without waiting for the girl and throwing herself in front of the toilet.

Knees ached against the cold wooden floor, chest lurching painfully as the contents of her stomach spewed out in the form of a burning liquid. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes struggling to breathe, a small part hoping it was over before her stomach lurched again.

She vaguely heard footsteps coming closer before her hair was being brushed back gently and her back soothingly rubbed.

Belle coughed feeling a harsh burn in her chest but finally being able to breathe easy as the nausea faded albeit taking its sweet time. As soon as she turned to the side, a hand towel gestured her way. She accepted it with a rush of gratitude as she wiped off her mouth still letting out small painful coughs.

Glossy reddened eyes flickered over to the side, seeing a familiar pair of sultry eyes and pouty lips look back at her with an expression of concern.

“You okay?” Jimin whispered, hand sliding from her back to her shoulder, squeezing it a little as a form of comfort.

Belle sighed before pursing her lips, more tears threatening to flood out if she continued to speak. So the woman merely shook her head, chin trembling and heart crumbling into pieces. The action alone held more truth than anything she ever forced herself to say.

His expression softened not needing any type of explanation as to why Belle looked so upset. Jimin saw the whole thing with his own eyes. No one could ever come out of that and still feel the same. All he could truly do was pull her close and wrap her into a warm embrace, allowing the woman to sob into his shoulder.

Fingers curled into the lavender fabric, sobs now pushing out of her as Jungkooks words replayed over and over again. All the smiles, laughter and kisses. All of them were fake. Nothing was real. Now more than ever Belle had been forced awake from the fantasy that began to thicken far too much. It stripped down to the harsh reality. When her whole future was taken away in one night.

-

They embraced until their legs fell asleep before eventually moving over to the main private room. Jimin’s hands still on Belle’s arms carefully guiding her to a seat.

Once the new air brushed in, the nausea slowly fizzled out allowing her to breathe in without feeling like a nasty potion being conjured in her throat.

As the pair sat across from one another a moment of silence lingered. Whether to consolidate the memory of their embrace or just time to adjust to their usual setting, both of them were not quite sure.

Then she spoke in a raspy and exhausted voice.

“I always thought I’d feel like the happiest woman in the world when I got pregnant.” Belle said with her head hanging, tears still freshly formed and a heart that could not seem to stop clenching into itself like it hid from something. “Every time I saw a baby smile…I’d always think…I’m going to have that one day with the man I love and he loved me.” She shook her head before scoffing at the naivety. All those stupid dreams of a happy life filled with love, loyalty and trust. Everything replaced by deceit and manipulation.

Jimins’ could feel the burning behind his eyes watching the broken shell of a strong woman speak out thoughts of a time when she was whole. Fingers twitched wanting to embrace her again but the moment for that passed. Now they both had to come to terms with speaking the truth. “You–you can still be happy…” He winced a little at his own words. “Arranged marriages can—” He swallowed hard. “—they can work out through time.”

Not this kind of arranged marriage. At least some arranged marriage gave the couple a chance to say agree or disagree on things. Here Jungkook merely took a fake girlfriend, then he and his family proceeded to do whatever they needed to her for their own benefit. All she had to was sit there, smile and take it.

Belle smiled at the lavender figure as if to reassure him that she appreciated his help. “It’s—complicated…” She chuckled, a small droplet trickling down her cheek. Averting her gaze, she wiped away her tears quickly with a light sniffle. “I supposed I shouldn’t complain. You probably have it worse.”

Jimin hummed in disagreement, shaking his head. “I feel safer here than anywhere else.” His brows furrowed lightly. “Seokjin—” He stammered a little accidentally calling Mr. Kim by his name. “I know he has a reputation but he’s a good man. Really. Never gets angry unless it’s at customers which is rare. He’s always keeps us safe.”

Eyes flickered to meet his, blinking slowly as her curiosity now peeked more than she ever felt it before. “But…what he did to Taehyung…” Belle gestured towards the table before them which had a half-drunken glass of water near her.

He leaned in and spoke in a whisper. “To protect Angel.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Taehyung didn’t do anything. Why would he get punished like that?” Belle kept her voice soft but loud enough for them to hear. As her words became consolidated in the air and in their memories, something struck in her mind that seemed to muffle everything out for a moment.

Jimin paused thinking over what to say before slowly taking a breath. “His… methods are little—”

Calculated. Planned.

For the first time in too fucking long, Belle could see past this thick veil of confusion. It wasn’t all just cruel fate. Her heart raced so hard it tried to crash through her ribcages and even her toes began shaking from the rush of adrenaline pumping in each vein.

Taehyung wasn’t drugged so Angel could be safe.

Tears dried up and a new rush of determination touched her broken form. Belle leaned in, gaze fixated on his, speaking in a firm tone. “Is there any way I could organize a meeting with Seokjin?”

-

Taehyung tried his best to suppress the intense heat on his cheeks feelings Angels’ soft hands interlock with his slightly rough ones. Through one of the backdoors, they were welcomed by the bright light of the beautiful day and the beautiful blossoms in all their glory.

Pink, red and purple petals falling to the green ground or continuing to fly through the wind to their own personal freedom. Subtle scent of jasmine and lemons touching his nostrils despite the actual plants being situated all the way at the end of the large backyard. A few angels both red and lavender wore more comfortable clothing rather than extravagant while entertaining their customers. Some of them danced in front of the picnic set up or simply sat with them engaged in light-hearted conversation.

He almost forgot the purpose of their visit to this slab of imaginary heaven as Angel led him past the laughing the patrons and towards the jasmines hanging on the fence just facing all the lemon trees. Taehyung wondered if this was what they used for their tea recipes. The small wonder momentarily halted when he felt himself being pulled under one of the lemon trees.

Subtle scent now became potent in his nose, the heavenly jasmine and citrus mixing with Angel’s sweet vanilla perfume. It would have been overwhelming if Taehyung had not lost his focus when meeting the golden ladys gaze.

Her grip on his hand loosened a little but a few fingers still struggled to depart from one another. “I wanted to say this to you in more privacy. The rooms are always watched.” Angel whispered with a light smile. “I’m so sorry…I was the one who put the drug in your tea.” She hung her head. “I didn’t know it was going to make you sick.” The usual composed walls around her once again opted to fade away when standing so close to Taehyung. “I—I thought it was going to make you feel more relaxed and calm—I didn’t…” Angel paused in her shaky words when she felt his hand cupping her cheek gently.

Taehyung watched her beautiful eyes getting glossier every second she continued speaking, each second his heart sunk deeper into a pit. “Did Seokjin ask you to do it?”

Angel pursed her lips, blinking frantically to get rid of the tears forming. “Yes.”

He scoffed averting his gaze, rush of heated fury erupting in his belly. “They’re all the same.”

“No…” She shook her head immediately holding onto his arms. “Taehyung, look at me.” The leaves rustled in a gust of wind causing her hair to flow over her lips a little. “Seokjin isn’t the man you think he is.”

Taehyungs’ brows furrowed searching her expression to find some sense of delusion or lack of surety but the woman looked collected as normal. “What kind of a man is he then? Who drugs their own customers for intimidation?” He seethed more so directed at Seokjin than the beauty before him.

Angel glanced quickly to the side ensuring that nobody was close to listen in. “The helping kind. Taehyung, if he was anything like Jungkook you’d be dead by now or he’d never allow you to see me ever again.” Her own heart jumped at the very mention of the idea. “Seokjin would never do what Jungkook did to your sister.”

He tightened his jaw as his stomach twisted and leaped causing an ache in abdomen. “What?”

“I know about the deal.” She whispered. “Seokjin told me as soon as you walked into Sangria House.” Angels’ bottom lip trembled moving one of her hands to caress his cheeks.

“How much did he tell you?” Taehyung swallowed down hard.

“Everything. He always does.” She smiled sadly, brushing her thumb over his temple. “I’m glad you’re okay.” Her smile quickly disappeared however as she halted her actions. “But your sister isn’t.”

“What can I do?” He muttered leaning in closer with the guise of being secretive but really he desperately wanted to close the distance between them. “Please tell me.”

-

Door opened gently by Jimin who quickly bowed as soon as they walked inside. A rush of cold air flowed through even Belles’ thick cardigan gushing from the air conditioner swirling with the soft linen waft of cologne. Seokjin sat at his table in the middle of writing something out on a paper before he peered through his glasses to see the two figures walk into the room. A calm expression across his handsome features as per usual despite clearly being disturbed in his work.

Belle padded further inside, fingers intertwined with each other and her posture at its perfect stature determined to look her most composed.

Seokjin quickly stretched a smile across his plump lips before standing up as a sign of respect. “Madame Belle, it’s always nice to see you.” He gave her a nod. Eyes flickered over to Jimin who stood politely in the corner looking a bit confused as to what he was supposed to do. “Thank you for escorting our prestige guest here, Jimin.”

It was a kind but clear sign that the lavender adorned male could leave the vicinity for their private conversation.

“Jimin can stay.” Belle glanced towards him before facing Seokjin. “I trust him if you do.”

Silence plunged into the room as both males still attempted to figure out just what Belle was trying to do or say. However Seokjin had to suppress a smirk at a few theories conjuring in his mind. He gestured for the two of them to sit at the vacant chairs.

Jimins’ confused gaze flickered from Belle to Seokjin before quickly closing the door of the office and following the woman to the chairs, sitting down as soon as she did.

Belle brushed away any creases on her dresses as she situated herself on the chair, the chill creating goosebumps on her bare skin.

Seokjin pushed away his blazer careful not to crease the ends as he sat down. Sighing happily, he smiled at the both of them leaning back on the chair. “What can I do for you, Madame Belle? Has Jimin been doing something inappropriate?”

The lavender males’ heart jumped frantically looking over at Belle with wide eyes.

“No. In fact the reason I wanted him here is to thank him…for helping me answer a question I could never wrap my head around.”

“And what question is that?”

Belle searched his expression, heavily impressed with how he could keep such a composure. Deep down she almost worried that her theory might sound silly at the end. “Why would a man with such a heavy security system in his facility—and security guards the size of buildings feel the need to drug a potential threat?” She squinted lightly.

Silence plunged into the room like a welcomed disease as Seokjins’ smile appeared back again even wider. “Well…I have less than glorious methods sometimes but it’s all to protect my beloved angels. Especially my wife.” He explained in the most rehearsed way possible even though they both knew it was merely a dialogue recited many times for people more gullible.

“Angel was never in danger.” The corner of her lip twitched as her goosebumps dialed down through the warmth radiating inside. “Your angels are always safe. At all times. The second something goes wrong, the guards are there in seconds.” Twitching turned into a steady smirk that for the first time Belle did not have to think about or force. “You knew that.”

“Knew what?” Seokjin asked, much to Jimins’ confusion, the man looked utterly pleased with the exchange.

“You knew Taehyung would never do anything to hurt Angel.” Belle shook her head. “You just needed an incident…the perfect incident to get anyone who could carry a simply vial to the Jeon mansion.” She chuckled softly at her own gullibility despite her cried out eyes burning in the harsh cold wind. “The most foolproof infiltration. Make Jungkook’s beloved girlfriend think her brother was terribly sick and sneak a police officer in to play the medic just at the right time.”

The older male grinned brighter than Belle or Jimin had ever seen it. Clearly this was not a dark secret he meant to keep from the woman otherwise the conversation would have turned into something a lot more different. “I must say, Ms. Belle…” Seokjin leaned in and rested his elbows on the table. “I’ve been at this for years now—possibly longer than Jungkook has been leader. Never once did anyone decide to question me or my involvement in traitorous behaviors. Why do you think that is?”

“Because you’re a powerful man.” Belles’ smile faded away for a moment. “They won’t question anything you do even if they know it’s wrong—because you can make them lose everything with a flick of your fingers.” She pursed her lips together. “I’ve already been one of them once…I’m not doing it again.”

Seokjin nodded slowly, noticing how her gaze mended from shattered shards to the woman who was ready to pick all the pieces up and mend herself together. “And who are you now? Mrs. Jeon Jungkook? Kim Taehyungs’ sister? Or Madame Belle?”

It always came down to this, didn’t it?

In a series of mind breaking and heart clenching events, one rushes out of the woods to find themselves wondering if they were the same person who entered in the first place. Was she still the same little sister who desperately wanted her brother to get better? Was she the perfect wife for Jungkook? Or was she the designer striving to be as successful as Saito herself?

Maybe Belle was all of them combined. Or none of them and this was all a sick dream playing out in her head but it couldn’t be.

The path in front of Belle now split into two; a fork awaiting her to step into to lead into a future that might make more sense than this one.

This felt too real. It didn’t feel good or satisfying nor did it make her feel relaxed.

This was real. It was time for her to wake up and draw the curtains on this fantasy.

-

Sun began moving over to the other side when Belle drove back to the mansion after feeling a significant brush of relief in her body.

For the first time she walked through the door with an air of both confidence and a little fear when her hand caressed her belly. You’re not going to be born in this mess. I promise. Padding across Belle smiled at Jongho who waited politely just at the entrance before returning a smile of his own with a nod.

Inside the main living room, Yoongi paced around biting down his fingernails mostly trying to stop himself from drinking something at the bar. Not that it would help since it was full with fucking apple juice. He wished he bought a coffee earlier but in his past experiences a boost of caffeine almost never helped with stress.

Footsteps made him pause in his tracks. A rush of calm pulsed through him when Yoongi saw Belle walking towards the male. “Jesus fucking Christ…” He whispered padding closer. “You okay?”

The woman stayed silent, completely dried out of tears and Jimin comforted more than enough. Now the only thing left was that feeling of exposure when the truth finally revealed itself. She felt naked in front of it but free from the lies. “I just went out to the Sangria House, I was safe.” Okay was a difficult word to associate with her right now.

Yoongi nodded fingers curling into themselves before he repeated the same action at the payphone.

“Taehyungs’ there too, I’m told.” Belle didn’t get a chance to catch him but she now knew that Seokjin had no intentions of hurting him in the first place. “Where’s Jungkook?”

He gulped, averting his gaze and gesturing towards the stairs. “He—read the report. Hasn’t come out of the room yet.”

Stomach started doing leaps again, fear rising that she might have another episode with her head over the toilet. Belle hummed mulling over her thoughts before leaning into his cheek and pressing a chaste kiss. One couldn’t even truly call it a kiss, just a light press of her soft lips against his burning skin. When she pulled away the woman smiled proceeding to cause more heat to bundle up inside him. “Thank you.”

Yoongi merely breathed out a sigh unable to speak as Belle gently walked past him up the stairs.

He felt the guards’ eyes on him, some of them judging his reddened cheeks while others smirking. Quickly clearing his throat Yoongi bolted towards the guestroom.

In the same gentleness Belle did earlier, opening the door with care peeking inside briefly before completely entering and closing the door behind her. Turning around Jungkook sat at the edge of the bed just as she was the first time they came into the mansion. His head hung, dark locks forming a slight curtain while his hands rubbed his face, light sniffling riddling the air mixing in with the strong stench of tobacco.

Gaze flickered over to the study table to see a few used cigarettes including one still exuding smoke almost halfway used.

The woman winced accidentally taking a big waft when she tried to breathe in causing her to cough and break the silence.

Jungkooks’ head shot up hearing the sound, quickly jumping off the bed and rushing to the study table. Picking the cigarette he roughly pressed it against the ashtray waving the smoke away from the woman. “I’m sorry.” He muttered in a slightly shaky voice.

“For what?” Belle padded towards the bed to her side, placing her bag on the nightstand before carefully sitting at the edge. Her legs melted into the soft surface finally being able to rest physically at least. Lazily she swung them over fully onto the bed after taking her shoes off, shifting back she rested her back on the headboard.

Jungkook leaned on the edges of the table before hanging his head again. “For everything.”

The vague answer was always the easiest.

Belle reached out for the throw blanket and placed it over the bare parts of her legs providing extra comfort and warmth. “You were stressed, I should’ve waited.” She replied simply.

“You shouldn’t have to wait to tell me something like that.” He shook his head finally turning around to face her. “Six weeks.”

“Six weeks.” Belle gulped, fingers beginning to tremble a little. “I had to make sure.”

Jungkook blinked slowly before nodding as he padded over to his side of the room, pushing off his shoes. Sitting against the headboard the male let out a small sigh as he unbuttoned one more button on his white shirt to feel less constricted. “How big would it be right now?”

“Probably the size of a peanut.” She looked down at her belly and instinctively caressed it.

He immediately flickered down at her belly, still unable truly to understand how a human was going to grow in there. Despite the things Jungkook had seen in his life this was going to be the most surreal of them all. “You’re important to me, Belle.” He reached out and placed a hand over her belly. “Both of you.”

Belle moved her fingers over his and caressing the back of his hand slowly.

“Everything’s a mess right now I can’t—” Jungkook sighed leaning on the side of his head against the headboard. “I can’t think straight.” With his biggest den taken down, one after the other like a cruel domino effect his empire seemed lose each of its pillars. At the same time he had to try and pick all the pieces while protecting the standing pillars making his mind curl up into itself. As if a survival mode to get away from extreme stress.

She shook her head, patting his hand. “It’s okay.” Belle whispered knowing the word lost all its meaning a long time ago.

Jungkook tilted his head to search her expression watching the dull sunlight shine onto her locks making them look golden. Like a sailor being allured to the siren, he leaned in and pressed a kiss on her cheek and another on just on the corner of her lips. “I want you to be happy.” Nose nudged against her cheek.

Belle closed her eyes momentarily feeling his hot kisses against her skin, heavy remnants of tobacco on his breath forcing her to breathe through her mouth for a while.

Pulling away, the male shifted to lay his head on Belle’s lap facing her belly and blanket covered thighs used as a pillow. Finger traced at the little creases on the dress from her sited position as Jungkook relished in the scent of her perfume hopefully masking his cigarette riddled one. “It doesn’t matter what happens to the empire.” He whispered, gaze fixated on her belly. “So long you’re both happy…I’d give everything else up.”

Her heart swelled for a brief moment as Belle allowed herself to succumb back into the comforts of his words. His beautiful lies. “Do you promise?” Shaky hand moved to brush through Jungkook’s hair.

His gaze flickered up to meet her glossy one, giving her a soft smile. “I promise.” Jungkook looked back down at her belly caressing her skin through the clothing. “I’ll always keep you happy.”

Belle bit down her bottom lip to suppress the sob being forced out of her, closing her eyes shut tightly to stop the tears but they merely created constellations on the womans’ lashes. Letting out a small sigh she relaxed into his touch, struggling to swallow down the lump in her throat.

Quickly for one of the final times Belle forced herself to stretch a smile across her lips.

I’m not happy.

-

Cheeks finally cooled down as Yoongi leaned back on the chair of his temporary bedroom, dark as the thick curtains perfectly shielded him from the sunlight. Fingers scratched at the fabric of the armrest not thinking of anything in particular but merely drowning in an empty zone away from reality just for a few moments. He grew accustomed to this feeling after seeing one too many dead bodies of children.

Two knocks rapped on the door before it opened to reveal the senior maid, Nana. “Hello, Master Osamu.” She smiled closing the door behind her and walking further inside to do her usual cleaning starting with fixing his bed up.

Yoongi made it himself but unfortunately not the way that it was usually designed to fit the aesthetic of the house since most of the fancy cushions were on the floor. “Sorry I’ll—” He tried to get up from the chair.

“No no it’s okay. This is my job after all.” Nana chuckled picked up all the cushions and threw them onto the bed to make it easier for her to organize them.

The younger male smiled and relaxed back onto the seat with a light sigh.

“You did well. Helping Mistress Belle like that.” She muttered placing all the bigger pillows close to the headboard then the medium ones just afterwards.

Yoongi chuckled nervously observing her actions and how effortlessly she put everything in place when it took his entire soul to neaten the blanket. “What’re friends for?” He pressed his lips together in a thin line.

Nana smirked, fluffing the larger pillows. “Just friends?”

Eyes widened at the sudden change of tone from the older female making him stammer a little as he spoke.

“I wasn’t born yesterday, boy.” She continued speaking casually while wiping off the collected on the side lamp. “This isn’t just an undercover mission anymore and you know it.”

Yoongi could have sworn his core shivered hearing those words so easily fall from Nana’s lips without a damn care in the world. Glancing over at the door of his bedroom, he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “How did you—”

“I raised Jungkook, you think I wouldn’t be able to see a rat under my nose?” Nana continued to keep her gaze anywhere but the younger male pretending like they were either having a regular conversation or none at all since Yoongis’ tongue seemed to lose its purpose. “Don’t get so scared. I don’t rat police officers out, you’re doing the right thing.” She neatened up Yoongis’ things on the nightstand. “Every king needs to be taught that they can crumble just as easily as a servant.”

Once everything stood in order, Nana stood in front of the male with a bright smile. “And every servant knows when to help the right people. I clean Jungkooks’ office too.” She gave him a bow and turned on her heel to leave the room.

Needless to say Yoongi was heavily reminded of how Namjoon and him were not the only ones who wanted an end to Jungkooks’ reign.

<< PREV CHAP | NEXT CHAP >>

#jungkook #jungkook imagines #bts imagines #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts fanfiction #jungkook mafia au #bts mafia au

[amateur-author597]

SERIOUS RISE OF THE TITANS SPOILERS

BUT I NEED TO RANT

SPOILERS ARE UNDER THE CUT I PROMISE

I STARTED ROTT TEN MINUTES AFTER IT CAME OUT AT 5:01 PM AEST AND FINISHED ROTT AT ROUGHLY 10 TO 7

I FINISHED THE MOVIE AND SAW 8 SPOILER POSTS WITHIN 2 MINUTES ON TUMBLR

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS AND PUT ALL SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT FOR YOUR POSTS AND TAG THEM PROPERLY

FIRST OFF

Everyone who said Blinky would die because of"and blinky" in the trailer

Fuck you

It was very fair but still I was so scared

Same to if those who said Archie died because he wasn't in the trailer

Again fair but I was terrified and anxious as hell

My heart could not have handled if he died or Douxie's grief but I'm still upset about what actually happened

And I wish Zoe showed up so they could give her some characterization

We find out she's known Douxie and been friends with him for over 900 years but she doesn't help with the Arcane Order?

And none of the hedge witches show up to help fight them to defend their home?!?!?!

SECOND!!! THE TRAIN SCENE!!!

YES

LOVED IT

GREAT

Jim you stupid string bean, I love you though

Claire, good job, that was some hard magic

Toby, go duke!

Douxie my husband, YAAASS QUEEN, GET IT BABY

The Police Station

It was so funny

Everything about it I loved

Douxari confusing the officers and being neutrally chaotic

Claire trying to be tough and silent

Toby spilling ALL the tea and the officers not believing him

Archie just being Archie and enjoying the confusion of the humans

KREL SHOWING UP WITH RICKY AND LUCY

YES

OMFG

Keep casually listing just about every spy agency in order

and then just

"And your mum"

What a legend

Literal King 👑

Honestly

Walter and Barbara

Them being engaged and happy

Y E S

Jim being best man

Y E S

Walter DYING before they could get married

N O

H E L L N O

ELI GREW UP!!!!!

MPREG STEVE

Very unpopular opinion

I loved it, so fucking funny

I don't even like mpreg normally

But I loved it as a random side plot cause they probably couldn't find an import part for every character and still give them their deserved screen time

Also, funny!

Krel was way too smug explaining to Steve that he would be pregnant, not Aja

You know how we as a fandom have all decided Krel is Aro/Ace icon or at least Aro spec and/or grey ace (something like that) I have no problem with this and love it, it makes me feel very validated, but what Krel just doesn't want kids and decided it's easier to not have romantic relationships, that's also a legitimate thing a lot of woman do

Does that mean gay guys can have biological kids on Akiridion 5?

BACK TO STEVE

I wish there was a bit where Steve called Lawrence on the phone calling him "dad" or "coach dad" and being like "Hey, I know you're probably busy, you're at school but I'm seriously freaking out and I need your help or advice" and explaining the whole Akiridion pregnancy and Coach just reassuring him gently and telling him that he and Steve's mum would support him and he wasn't alone and they weren't mad at him.

Douxie figuring out the sigil

Good job baby! Smart boy! I am very proud

You very smart

The Order bringing the Titans with Nari mind controlled

😬

That's all

Numora dying

Why! It's was so unnecessary!

I don't necessarily love her by any means

But still!

Dndndbebhsvehehrdidjbdisbeurbvtisjbsgsneosbsyneyjsosnsjdbdynsvsidbfindbzhndhdushdhushdbudhnm

*key spams in frustration*

This began much irritation that just increased

THE BRIDGE

ARCHIE LEFT DOUXIE HIS LONG LIFE FRIEND AND PLATONIC SOULMATE (NOBODY CAN CONVINCE ME THAT NOT JOW FAMILIARS WORK IDC)

YES HE WAS STAYING WITH HIS DAD AND I RESPECT THAT

BUT GODDAMN IT CHARLIE

CHARLEMAGNE COULD HAVE JUST LIT THE TROLLS FOLLOWING THEM ON FIRE AND THEN FLOWN OUT

THE PORTAL WOULD HAVE CLOSED AT THE SAME TIME

OR THEY COULD HAVE FREED THE TROLLS

EITHER WAY

THEY COULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT

WTF HAPPENED THE WHOLE FOUND FAMILY THING THEH WERE PUSHING IN WIZARDS

WHY PUSH A GRIEVING DOUXIE TO ESSENTIALLY GET OVER IT AND ACCEPT ARCHIE AS HIS FAMILY CUZ HE WAS ALWAYS THERE JUST TO GET RID OF ARCHIE ANYWAY

DOUXIE WOULD HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM AGAIN

HE WOULD HAVE JUST SEEN "TELL DOUXIE I SAID GOODBYE" IN THE KRONOSPHERE AS HIS LAST MEMORY OF HIM

*INCREASING FRUSTRATION*

"No More Running"DOUXIE ALMOST DIED BRINGING NARI BACK

I KNEW HE WOULDNT DIE BUT I WAS STILL SCARED

I was sad

NARI AND SKRAEL'S BATTLE WAS PERFECT

CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE I WAS NOT PLEASED WITH NARI DYING

NOR DOUXIE BEING HELD BACK ONCE AGAIN FROM SAVING A LOVED ONE

"Nor more running"

Simple line

Sweet

Shattered me and my very being THE SWITCHING SPELL

AMAZING.YES.ILOVEDIT.

DOUXIE YOU SMART BRILLIANT BOY I AM SO FUCKING PROUD

Douxari was so chaotic and funny and pure in a very weird way

I was sad that THAT screenshot of Douxie and Archie wasn't actually Archie because he looked so happy chddling his familiar but it was still cute

Narxie was so fucking sarcastic when the Arcane Order realized the spell didn't work and I live for it

Walter and Barbara

Them being engaged and happy

Y E S

Jim being best man

Y E S

Walter DYING before they could get married

N O

H E L L N O

ELI GREW UP!!!!!

MPREG STEVE

I loved it, so fucking funny

Krel was way too smug explaining to Steve that he would be pregnant, not Aja

You know how we as a fandom have all decided Krel is Aro/Ace icon or at least Aro spec and/or grey ace (something like that) I have no problem with this and love it, it makes me feel very validated, but what Krel just doesn't want kids and decided it's easier to not have romantic relationships, that's also a legitimate thing a lot of woman do

Does that mean gay guys can have biological kids on Akiridion 5?

BACK TO STEVE

I wish there was a bit where Steve called Lawrence on the phone calling him "dad" or "coach dad" and being like "Hey, I know you're probably busy, you're at school but I'm seriously freaking out and I need your help or advice" and explaining the whole Akiridion pregnancy and Coach just reassuring him gently and telling him that he and Steve's mum would support him and he wasn't alone and they weren't mad at him.

Douxie figuring out the sigil

Good job baby! Smart boy! I am very proud

You very smart

The Order bringing the Titans with Nari mind controlled

😬

That's all

Numora dying

Why! It's was so unnecessary!

Dndndbebhsve hehr didjbdisbeurbvtisjbsgsneosbsyneyjsosnsjdbdynsvsidbfindbzhndhdushdhushdbud

*key spams in frustration*

THE BRIDGE

ARCHIE LEFT DOUXIE HIS LONG LIFE FRIEND AND PLATONIC SOULMATE (NOBODY CAN CONVINCE ME THAT NOT JOW FAMILIARS WORK IDC)

YES HE WAS STAYING WITH HIS DAD AND I RESPECT THAT

BUT GODDAMN IT CHARLIE

CHARLEMAGNE COULD HAVE JUST LIT THE TROLLS FOLLOWING THEM ON FIRE AND THEN FLOWN OUT

THE PORTAL WOULD HAVE CLOSED AT THE SAME TIME

OR THEY COULD HAVE FREED THE TROLLS

EITHER WAY

THEY COULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT

Titan Nari

I was so scared when Douxie nearly passes out from lack of oxygen trying to save her

Claire did a great job and I like her but I feel like they're overpowering her without developing her

Nari and Skrael's battle was a cinematic masterpiece

Coach Lawrence seriously needs a break

NARI DYING WAS UNACCEPTABLE

DOUXIE BEING HELD BACK FROM HELPING HER WAS UNACCEPTABLE

"No more running" destroyed me

I AM STILL NOT OK

I DON'T THINK I EVER WILL BE

The 9th configuration

FOUND. FAMILY. CENTRAL.

I'M THE CHOSEN ONE BUT I CAN'T DO IT ALONE

YES

The Final Battle

I don't even know what to say

Aja. QUEEN.

RIP Varvatos

Rip Douxie that fall would have really fucking hurt

He definitely had broken ribs from that

I'm surprised he could walk after even while being supported against someone else to stand

Jim should have just stabbed Bellroc instead of talking

Jim should not have been able to walk and run perfectly fine after being stabbed even with all the adrenaline

Toby WTF MAN

GOOD JOB BUT FUCKING HELL

I LEGIT CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW IT HAPPENED

THE MOVIE CAME OUT 4 DAYS AGO (IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE THE RANT DONT JUDGE) AND I'VE WATCHED IT 5 TIMES AND I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW I MISSED IT EACH TIME

HOW DID TOBY CRASH?!?!

ANYWAY

TOBY DYING WAS NOT ACCEPTABLE

JIM SCREAMING OUT HIS NAME AS SOON AS HE REALIZED TOBY WASNT THERE

BLINKY AND ARGH LOOK OF PANIC AND WORRY CUZ THEY REALIZED TOBY DIDNT COME BACK WITH JIM

DOUXIE REALIZING HE FAILED TO PROTECT SOMEONE ELSE IMPORTANT TO HIM (EVEN IF HE DOESNT HAVE MUCH OF AN ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP WITH TOBY, I REFUSE TO BELIEVE HE DIDN'T ADOPT THEM ALL AS HIS YOUNGER SIBLINGS)

"Always was, always will be" hurt my entire soul

The Time stone

This frustrated me so much it took me 3 days to write just this bit

Go back in time and save everyone?

Yes! Awesome!

Go back to the start the start

No

Also, I love and adore Toby

BUT IT MAKES NO SENSE

JIM GIVING THE AMULET AND RESPONSIBILITIES AWAY WHEN HE HAS 2 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE AND KNOWS ALL OF HIS MISTAKES AND HOW TO FIX THEM

WTF

AS I SAID I LOVE TOBY AND I LIKE HIM ACHIEVING STUFF

BUT HES NOT TREATED AS BADLY AS THE FANDOM ACTS LIKE HE IS

AND LOGICALLY JIM MADE A STUPID DECISION CONSIDERING WHAT HE KNOWS

I get that he was tired of being the trollhunter

Largely because he was tired of not thinking he would do a good enough job

But odds are Toby will make some of the same mistakes and they'll be right back in that same position except maybe Claire will die that time around

And if you're sick of the trauma and responsibility of it than why would you dump it on your best friend

Once again I say, it was an illogical and dumb decision

I WILL BE RUNNING TO FANFICTIONS TO ESCAPE THIS CANON

#toa spoilers #rott spoilers #trollhunters rott #movie rant #toa #toa archie #toa wizards #toawizards #toa rott #toa zoe #douxie #hisirdoux casperan #douxie casperan #toa douxie #toa nari #toby domzalski #claire nuñez #jim lake jr #stricklake #walter strickler #barbara lake #nari of the eternal forest

[surfalldaybaby]

SPOILER ALERT!!!!

DONT READ UNTIL YOU HAVE FINISHED!!!!!

My full review of ACOSF 3 seconds after reading it.

Probably unpopular opinion. Idk.

First off wow. I did not expect that shit at alllll! I liked it but I would rate it a solid 6.5/10. To me it wasn’t that good. It was a book with a good plot for about 3/4 of the way and then it gets weird with smut scattered throughout it with no real purpose.

First I want to say that I still feel that Nesta and Cassians relationship is so strange and forced. I wish I liked it more. I don’t. The initial romance scenes were so quick and weirdly put together they literally did nothing for the plot. It was just a lot of sex scenes that I was like eh ok. They’re steamy and raunchy but with little to no purpose. Like Maas just decided to make this her sexiest book bvs of how many views it would get without calculating the plot into it. They just end up making out and having sex a lot but I didn’t see the buildup or anything it just happened out of nowhere. And then it stopped and then it happened again. I wish their mating bond snapping into place had been more of a plot line I was left a little confused when I read it. Nesta apologizing and accepting Cassians apology was too quick he said he was shackled to her. Hellllll no. She became a pushover.

I did like how now Nesta has a relationship with all the IC. However her instant forgiveness and her apologies to the IC were very rushed and ingenuine. She was treated very poorly by rhys and amren and shes the one who throws herself at rhys and apogkizes? She’s the one who apogizes to amren? No. It doesn’t seem at all like the Nesta that I would have expected. I wanted at least a little rebuttal or fire. Like I understand all of their hesitantion and why they were so mean but I wanted a little apology or explanation.

I hate to say it but Maas really did seem to cut the fire out of Nesta. I didn’t want her to be a bitch but I wanted to go retain of her sassy energy and she just seemed like a wash rag at the end. Nesta was done wrong by Cassian rhys and amren a lot and she was the one who ended up fixing or apologizing in those relationships and it doesn’t fit right that they don’t at least mention their mistakes to her as well. And this is coming from someone’s who didn’t like Nesta, or didn’t rlly care for her, so I can’t imagine what people who liked her thought after reading this book.

I didn’t like how she never apologized to feyre or Elain. She did in actions but I wanted a verbal apology. I loved the total sacrifice and I thought it fit her arc. I thought it was very full circle. Obviously Nesta and feyre love eachother and I’m elated about that. I like that Nesta had to give up her power and was able to keep a bit of it. The power would have killed her I think if she was able to keep it.

Lowkey I was expected each sister to have to be called to a made item and I thought it would have been a cool plot idea to introduce Elain into the story.

I love how Elain was so bold in this book but there were moments where even I was like calm down girl.

I loved her slow development with Mor. mor was aggressive at the beginning but really came into herself and i liked their friendship all the way through. I liked how mor is portrayed a lot. Hopefully mor snd emerie are a thing. But, how does nestas jealousy just go away? How does mor just accept that Nesta and Cassian are having sex? How does every charter just act fine with it when they all were so cautious around her? Seems kind of gross to constantly smell the sex. Ew.

Az and Nesta are so great as a pair. Hopefully we see more of Gwyn with him.

Love emerie and Gwyn but how the three of them were able to complete the blood rite after only a few months of training is so unrealistic and just not what I expected. It seemed so played out and sacrificial martyr like I was bored of it. Very predictable. Especially how Cassian goes against the crown to save his mate like okay next.

I wish Maas had just kept her as a leader for assault survivors I think that would have been amazing. But Nesta and her friends after literally 3-4 months of training being illyrians is unrealistic. Nesta seemed to transform into Feyre at the end and while I love Feyre Nesta is not Feyre and I was not a fan of seeing another recreation of that sacrificial lamb trope.

The whole pregnancy plot point was weird and I didn’t like it. I get it at the end but literally I could have done without the whole thing. Rhys keeping it from Feyre that she was gonna die- horrible. Them making a pact they would die together is absurd and so weird. They would never do that like ... someone has to fucking rule the night court.

I loveeeeeed the dance scenes and the importance of music.

Eris is fine. I don’t like him I don’t hate him. He’s whatever. Same with Lucien. Literally this whole thing he was with Mor about her knowing the truth like literally don’t care. It’s mor making me curious it’s just a stale detail now that’s been repeated a lot with no follow up information.

I would have liked more touching up on mor azriel and cassians relationship. It’s like Maas is fostering confusion with Elain and morrigan over azriel and it’s not mysterious it’s just annoying.

There was some amazing detail that went into this novel and I applaud the well thought out and carefully constructed attention to history and mythology. I thought a lot of the smaller scenes and chapters were brilliant- the harp scenes, the initial training, the library and house scenes, the female relationships, music scenes, etc....- but as a whole plot it felt like 6 stories being forced together and tied with a ribbon but the stuffing was coming out so your left confused and a little like wtf okay.

Overall I liked the story thought it was very good “redemtption” arc for nesta but I wish it had more to do with her psychological journey and not so much out on her psychical one- Illyrian blood rite, hiking, weird sex- with odd plot points and rushed relationships and forgiveness.

Also I liked the azriel extea chapter it was fine. Kinda made az look like a little morally grey but we now know he is interested in Elain, that Elain wants him back, and that he is lonely. Hopefully he doesn’t hurt Gwyn.

Loveeeeed the feysand chapter. Rhys is dead on about his characterization of Elain.

The next book will def be about as, Lucien, Elain, mor, and probably Gwyn. LOVE THAT.

#Nesta #nesta archeron #Cassian #nessian #azriel #morrigan #Feyre #rhysand #feyre archeron #amren #Elain #elain archeron #Lucien #lucien vanserra #acosf #a court of silver flames #acosf spoilers #emerie #gwyn #eris

[coloraturadiva]

A mistake - Chapter 3

Pairing: Napoleon Solo x F!Reader (You)

Summary:  Napoleon realises he had made a mistake

Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Warnings: angst, fluff, pregnancy (I’m sure I forgot something...)

Word Count: 2692

A/N: a special thank you to my lovely beta @iloveyouyen ! This is the third and last chapter of this story, I hope you’ll like it 😉

Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.  

Feedback, reblogs and constructive criticism are appreciated!

Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission. Comments and reblogs welcome!

Tagging some people that never asked for it and others that actually did: @iloveyouyen @littlefreya @aletheladyinred @madbaddic7ed @promptandpros @mrsaugustwalker @jencanbeyouryengeralt @radaofrivia @henrythickcavill @ladyreapermc @mary-ann84 @onlyhenrys @qualitynightkoala @eefjedegraaf @summersong69 @minillamakeup-blog @trippedmetaldetector @maan24​  @bichibibi​  @rn7rocks​ 

Knock knock

“What are you doing here?”

There he was. You had heard no words from him for the past 2 weeks. As he said, he came to the house the day after he left to collect his things when you were at work and left his keys in the mailbox.

Now he stood on your doorstep looking like he was the one suffering from morning sickness. He was looking terrible, not his usual spit and polish self. Pale, his lips dehydrated, the eyes dull and puffy, the hair messy: he looked like he had aged 20 years in 14 days.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course” you felt unsure about his intentions, but you let him in nevertheless . “This is still your house anyway”. You didn't hear a word from him or his lawyer. You had expected a phone call or even papers delivered to you in a couple of days, but nothing happened, and you thought that he had been whisked away on a mission before having the time to arrange the situation with a lawyer.

“What do you want?” you asked him, not daring to look at him in the eye, fearing you'd burst out crying. You had cried so much during the past weeks that you thought you had no more tears in you, but his sudden appearance made you feel teary all over again.

“I left two very important things there” he answered in a soft, but raspy tone. Even his voice didn't sound like it used to be.

“Really?” you tried to sound polite, even if a million of different emotions were raging in your head: anger, fear, sorrow, loneliness, the urge to kiss him one last time... “What? I haven't seen anything...”

“My wife and my baby”.

“What?” your head span. You didn't trust your legs and went to sit on the closest seat you could find: an armchair in the parlour.

He followed you, terrified. His face turned even paler than before.

“What happened? Are you unwell?” he kneeled in front of you, his voice trembled with worry.

Your head snapped up. You looked at him in the eye for a second and... slapped him. You slapped him with all the force you had in your body. Maybe slapping a CIA agent wasn't the best idea for your safety, but you couldn't help yourself. He had to steady himself on the nearby sofa not to fall.

“YOU IDIOT! You come here out of nowhere after having left your PREGNANT wife and you even have the courage to ask me what happened and if I am unwell?! Of course I'm unwell, you broke my heart!” you were flushed, your breath laboured.

He looked at you wide eyed.

“I'm so sorry...” he began in a pleading tone, looking at his hands: he was still wearing his wedding band. Like you. “I panicked. I fucked it all up big time. I know I don't deserve to ask for anything and I'll understand if you won't get me back, but I had to try. I couldn't let go of everything we have built this way. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I hadn't tried to get you back.”

“You did, all with your hands” you retorted bitterly.

“I know. And I'm the most stupid and undeserving man in the world. But I'm madly in love with you and I can't let you go for any reason.”

“Except an unwanted child” you bashed him.

He bowed his head.

“I... I wasn't expecting it. Coming home and seeing you with a bump...”

“No, you never wanted it, it's not the surprise factor. That would have caused you to stay speechless, to panic for ten minutes, to say something stupid, not to leave me in less than two minutes, without giving me the opportunity to explain, with those bitter words.”

“Bitter words?” he asked lost.

“I knew a baby would have come to separate us. That's what you said. It's not the baby's fault! How can it be? It's your fault! You went away treating me like a broken object, without even looking at me. Not even an animal deserves to be treated that way! And you started to talk about divorce papers in less than three seconds after having realised I was pregnant. That broke my heart, you know that? That physically broke my heart! That evening I thought I was gonna die right on the floor, where you had left me! And why did you do that? Because things weren’t going like you wanted, because I displeased you! How awful! And it happened ONCE. Once in all the years we have been together! Well, sorry, but I was not born with the sole purpose to please your cravings and your ego, I’m human too and I have my interests and my wishes as well. You always knew, from the very start, that I wanted to build a family with you, but you were so obsessively against the idea of having kids that I renounced my own wishes because I wanted to be with you. I’m sure you believe that I did get pregnant on purpose, but I didn’t do it, I swear. I was as surprised as you when I found out. I’m not the one that goes behind other people's backs, you are... So you wanted to punish me for something that’s not my fault, or, at least, is your fault as well. Of course! You are the important one here, while I’m the stupid, lovesick woman that offended you by getting pregnant, but I’ll never feel sorry about loving my baby! You can’t throw away people like a broken toy because things aren’t going like you have planned. I won’t accept it.”

He felt ashamed of himself like he never felt in his whole life. Stealing, the black market, spying, that was nothing compared to what he had done to you without even realizing.

“And you know what's the worst part of it?” you continued. “That I loved you. I kept on loving you anyway. Even if you had treated me so bad, I couldn't bring myself to hate you. Hating you would have made everything easy, but it was impossible. When I arrived home after work the day after you left, I hoped to find you there, or at least that you hadn't come to take away your things. That would have meant that you were in doubt, that you were still thinking about it. But when I arrived home, I saw that all was gone. Your wardrobe was empty, your drawers were empty, your library was empty, even the comforting smell of you was gone from this house. My heart broke yet again. It was really the end...”

You started sobbing, all the emotions of the past weeks washed over you at once. You felt overwhelmed.

"Do you want to know why I left?" he asked looking at the floor after having taken a deep breath. "Because I'm scared…"

"Oh, don't tell me!" you answered sarcastically. "The hero, the great secret agent is scared of a baby! Please, I'm not that stupid…"

"I'm not scared OF a baby." He whispered. "I'm scared FOR the baby. And for you".

"What?" you asked not getting his point. What was to be scared about? Women get pregnant and babies are born everyday. It's normal, it's natural.

"I… I've always been worried about your safety…" he hesitated. "You know who I am, you know what I have done, you know what I do… I can't control everything, I can't be here to protect you all the time. I'm constantly worried that one day someone could decide to seek revenge against me by hurting you. It's something that has been burning me from the inside since the very first time I saw you. I can't bear the thought of you getting hurt because of me. You don't deserve it, it's not right. I've done my fair share of bad things, but you are innocent, you shouldn't be in this mess… But you are right, I'm an egoist. Even if I wanted you to be safe, I loved you too much, I wanted you to be mine… Even if it was a risk for you… That's why I never wanted a baby. Thinking of you being in danger is already a big hardship for me, but a baby… That's too much. That's not a life for a baby. I know very well how it hurts you having me to stay away on missions all that time, not knowing if I'll come back all in one piece. That's wrong. A baby and a young mother shouldn't be living like that… That's why I panicked, that's why I left. I thought that with me gone, maybe you could have been safe, you could have built a new and better life for the two of you. Maybe with a better man… That’s it. I panicked and in my head, going away was a way to protect you..." he paused for long minutes, playing nervously with his wedding ring. "What can I do to make amends?” he begged. “Please, tell me.”

You kept on crying. You had no idea. You loved him, but he had hurt you so much you didn't know what you really wanted.

He was devastated. Seeing you crying, so trembling and fragile and all because of him made him feel physically sick.

He didn't think too much about it, or at the consequences: he went to sit on the armrest of the armchair and took you into his arms. He didn't move, he didn't caress you, he just held you still.

At first you were stiff, unsure about the unexpected contact, but soon enough you melted in his arms. It felt so good to be back where you felt you belonged after such a long time. You were unsure if you could ever forgive him, but you also knew that you couldn't live without him.

“What made you change your mind?” you suddenly asked in a whisper. “Why did you come here today?”

“You. Both of you.” He hesitated, his voice trembled. He sounded deeply emotional. “I mean, I love you. It's you, it's our baby. I don't want you to be with another man… I want to see our baby grow… I know it's a risk and I don’t know if I can protect you, but at least I want to try. I can't let you go… "

“Our baby” you sobbed.

“Yes, of course you were right. Like you are always right. It takes two to make a baby. I can't blame everything on you. I'm sure I did my part… I’m just a scared idiot, but I love you. It only took me too long to realise how much I love you and how important you and the baby are for me. More important than my fears.”

“The baby as well?”

“Yes, the baby as well. I love both of you so much”.

You sighed. He sounded like he meant his words. He sounded like himself again. A tired Napoleon, but your Napoleon.

“I... Your... Your grandmother visited me.”

“My grandmother? How? I don't know where you are staying now. How does she?”

“She probably has been a secret agent for all her life and never told a soul. I can't find a different explanation” he smiled. “Her methods are also quite... effective. I was there, tormenting myself to decide when was the best moment to come to you, if today was too soon, or already too late, when she knocked on my door, stormed in and gave me a lecture. She talked for 15 minutes straight, I think. She didn't let me say a word. And she beat me with her walking stick.”

“WHAT?”

“I told you her methods are effective. I said something that displeased her, and she wanted to make it clear.”

“You probably deserved it...”

“Indeed. I deserved that and your slap too.”

“You had already decided to come back before her visit?” you changed the subject.

“Yes. Two days after I left you, when I found myself with all my things in a house that wasn't ours and without you and having left you alone, I realised that I made the biggest mistake of my life.”

“That was nearly two weeks ago...”

“I know, but I didn't have the courage to come, I had no idea what to say...”

“And waiting made a difference?”

“Yes, because the more the days passed, the more I was sure that I missed you and that leaving you alone wasn’t the best way to keep you and the baby safe. I realised that I made a big mistake. Not being with you was a mistake… By leaving you I was only hurting you, not protecting you...”

You both fell silent. One secretly praying to not have ruined it all with his own hands, the other reflecting on her feelings, trying to understand if forgiveness was an option.

“Could you ever forgive me?” he asked tentatively after several minutes, still holding you in his arms.

“No.”

He froze. He felt like he had been slapped again. But more forcefully, this time.

“I already did. The moment I let you in, I had already subconsciously forgiven you. I love you too much to live without you, I want to have you there with me. And you came back to me...” you sighed. “You know I can't stay mad at you for too long...” you softly smiled.

“Even after what I did?” he still didn't dare to look you in the eye.

“Even after what you did... I would like to believe that I'm doing it for the baby's sake, but the truth is that I'm doing it for myself. I'm terribly greedy when it comes to you.”

He dared to kiss you on the top of your head. You didn't resist.

It felt so good. It felt simply right.

You suddenly disentangled from his arms and got up from the armchair. You started to walk away.

Napoleon was startled. What was happening? Why did you start to move so suddenly? The kiss was too much?

“Come with me”. He heard your voice from the corridor and bolted in your direction.

He caught up with you in the guest room.

You turned to face him, standing close to a big box.

"Yesterday I saw this crib in a shop and even if it's a bit early, I had to buy it. But I'll need your help to put it together" you smiled weakly.

Napoleon looked at the big box. It was white, decorated with cute pastel green Teddy bears. He always had a penchant for beautiful (and expensive) things, he was an expert in art and antiquities anyway, and was used to treating himself with ridiculously expensive clothes, but had never paid attention to these kinds of things, thinking they would never interest him. However, right now that box looked to him as magnificent as a Raffaello painting.

He neared you gingerly, afraid of doing something wrong.

"Are you sure?”

“Yes. I want to put this crib together  with you. And all the rest of the things for the baby. And us. I want us to be together...” you trailed off.

“I miss you”.

“I miss you too.”

You looked down at your growing belly.

“Come here” you threw your arms around his neck. One of Napoleon's hands went instinctively to your belly. You looked carefully at his face. He looked like he was on the verge of tears, but was trying hard not to break apart in front of you.

“How are you?” he sounded suddenly concerned about your health. “How do you feel?”

You cupped his cheek.

“I'm good now” you smiled at him.

“I'm sorry. For everything” he uttered, deep affliction clearly ringing in his voice. "You'll be safe. Both of you. I promise…"

“I know” you answered softly. “Let's forget about the past weeks, shall we? Let's start anew from today.”

“I love you Y/N”.

“I love you Napoleon”.

Thanks to everyone who read my story and made it to the end! 😘

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #napoleon solo #napoleon solo fanfic #fanfic #fan fiction #the man from uncle #napoleonxreader #napoleonsoloxreader #napoleon solo x reader #napoleon solo x you #xyou #napoleon solo x female!reader #female!reader #female reader #wrinting

[andrewminyartd]

ACOSF SPOILERS

DO NOT CONTINUE TO READ !!

ALSO KINDA LONG

-

I haven’t posted on tumblr in ages but this is the only place I know to rant.

I feel like there were three storylines mushed into one book here. Nesta, nesta & cassian, and the others.

NESTA - 5/5

Singling out Nestas part includes her growth, her friendships, her training, the stairs and the blood rite.

I LOVED this. I feel like so many people have serious trauma that causes us to change for the worst. we become harsh, we lash out at the people we love, we lash out at ourselves, question our worth, etc.

( did I love to see that the crew voted for this? no but that’s for another section. )

I honestly don’t have much to say besides it was wonderful to see nesta find herself. using the training to hone her mind and body, making amazing bonds with other women of trauma, to form that sisterhood, to finally master the stairs but to use them as a time to understand herself, and to ( unofficially ) complete the blood rite. chefs kiss, I’m so happy for her.

I completely understand what it’s like to be so comfortable in your sorrow ( or anger ) and not want to leave, it’s all you know.

The sleepover scene really tore at my heart I’m the good way, as someone who has three sisters, I loved it. No matter how cheesy it sounds sisterhood is a gift. I’ve found myself at odds with my sisters on so many occasions, wishing I could never see or speak to them again, but it always reverts to the i breakable bond of having a growing partner.

plus gwyn and emerie amazing women love to see it. Great supporting characters.

the blood rite, trope-y but still great to see her flourish.

NESTA + CASSIAN 4/5

Again, very cliche. I still liked it. The sex was filthy which wow i was a bit blown away. I have no qualms reading scenes like that but i felt so sad it had to be just sex in the beginning.

I looooved that he stood by her side. What an amazing man. Yeah I know they said I knew you were my mate etc etc but I mean elain and lucien are mates and so obviously not together so,,,,, point being he stayed not knowing what would happen.

I loved the hike, what a great connection. And a great message, if you need your time take it but I’ll always be here and waiting.

I do have to say I agree with some people that why can’t there ever just be an emotional scene followed by I love you and just yk comfort and etc. I do that with my husband all the time, no sex needed to portray the emotions.

Granted they are new mates but still.

THE OTHERS - 1/5

Am I not the only person who was really taken aback by the crew in this book? What is this voting on people’s life and feysand being wonky as fuck????

I was pleasantly surprised about the pregnancy but I felt like this was not the book for that. I don’t even know how to properly explain it I just am really surprised? I just didn’t like the general tone and vibe of everyone.

Mor? okay girl was barely here and uh is she hiding something? what is eris hinting at? ( dONT come at me if we are supposed to know I only reread the ending of acowar ). Feysand? Um just straight up annoying and rude. their bonus scene pissed me off. and yeah she’s pregnant I don’t give a shit I do not like how they treated everyone in this. Amren? No complaints shes chillin. I would expect her to vote on ppls lives but not everyone else. Elain? girly strong but practically not even in the book. Cassian? king Az? Pretty normal imo.

I feel like this book should’ve focused on Nesta more and she could’ve focused more on the enemy rather then throwing feysands pregnancy problems around. the plot was sloppy and loose.

BONUS - ERIEL

I love azriel, I always have he is one of my favourite characters. I hate people bashing on him, bc listen the fuck up. we do not know ANYTHING that has gone on between elain and him in an entire YEAR. for people to come for his life bc he’s having fantasies, how is it any different then cassian? he’s an illyrian male like??? oh because they aren’t mates? yeah well for 3/4th of the book it wasn’t confirmed nes and cas were mates either and everyone still rooted for them meanwhile their mates could’ve been somewhere else. mates does not always mean romantic, rejecting the bond exists for a reason. give elain a break, she finds no comfort in lucien. period. dont act like if luciens girl hadn’t been killed he wouldnt be cozied up with her rn bc he already found love. And would’ve accepted the platonic bond. I didn’t bother to read the part where he’s “ flirting” with gwyn. like bro got yelled at for trying to pursue someone he loves and someone who loves him back you assholes. he’s a man, they aren’t perfect, not even rhys or cas. he doesn’t even know gwyn and for yall to be like omg his shadows come alive blah blah, brUh he doesn’t even know her. If he chooses to persue that so be it but imo it’s squat compared to his relationship/friendship with elain. and I think you’re all taking the three sisters statement wrong, hes not saying he’s entitled bro he’s just saying like does it not make sense seeing as they are in love/attracted to each other.

CONCLUSION

Loved the Nesta story line, liked the nesta cassian story line, did not like anything else.

NOTE: if you agree or have anything to add feel free to comment or repost! If you don’t please just scroll.

#acosf #acosf spoilers #feysand acosf #elriel #elriel acosf #nesta archeron #nessian #nessian acosf #elain archeron #elain and azriel #feysand #feyre archeron #cassian #azriel

[artificialqueens]

Grow As We Go (Rosnali) - Athena2

Summary: Denali and Rosé face some ups and downs as they wait for their baby to be born.

A/N: This is another idea that came into my head and just had to be written. It’s pretty much all fluff, and I really hope you enjoy! Please leave some feedback if you like, I really appreciate it! Thank you to Writ for beta-ing!

Title from the song by Ben Platt.

Read on AO3.

“Can you look at it?” Rosé asks fearfully. “I just—maybe if you do it—“

“I got it.” Denali quickly rises off the bathroom floor and grabs the pregnancy test off the counter. She knows Rosé is hoping that if Denali looks at it first this time, it will bring good news. Not like the last two tries.

She resumes her position at Rosé’s side, leaning against the bathtub. Rosé’s legs are pulled up to her chest and she’s chewing her lip to shreds. Denali slides an arm around her shoulders.

“Whatever happens, it’s okay,” Denali says softly.

Rosé gives a stiff nod, squeezing her eyes shut so she can’t peek, and Denali turns the test over, the tiny thing like lead in her hand.

The world is silent except for Denali’s heart pounding in her chest. The air is thick with tension, the knowledge that once she reads what the test says, there’s no unreading it, no changing or undoing the information. Either Rosé is pregnant, or she’s not, and the whole world teeters on the edge of this stick. Denali doesn’t breathe as she stares at the test, trying to make sense of the pale blue lines—they really should’ve picked the test that just tells you if you’re pregnant or not—and matching it to the instructions on the box.

“Rosie,” she gasps, “Rosie, it’s positive!”

Green eyes fly open, not daring to hope just yet. “Are you sure? Should we do another?”

“I’m sure, baby.”

She opens her arms and pulls Rosé into them, everything full of hugs and kisses and excitement because they’re having a baby.

—

Rosé is really sick of starting each morning with her head in the toilet.

She always thought morning sickness was just something that popped up in pregnancy montages in movies, not something that would send her running to the bathroom every day, Denali trailing behind her to keep the hair off her face and rub her back.

Rosé groans as she releases her shaky grip on the sides of the toilet, leaning back and taking a glass of water from a worried Denali.

“Thank you.” Rosé sighs, grimacing at the bitter taste lingering in her mouth. “I’m sorry you have to start every day watching me puke my guts out.”

“Hey, we’re in this together, remember? A little vomit won’t scare me away.” Denali wipes sweat off Rosé’s forehead with a cold washcloth, and Rosé melts into the touch. “The doctor said the morning sickness should go away soon.”

“Fuck, I hope so.” She doesn’t want to complain, because she wanted this, knew she wanted to carry their baby. But she’s really sick of puking.

“I wish I could help you more,” Denali says wistfully. She keeps the washcloth in place, eyes scanning over Rosé’s face, searching for any signs of pain or anything wrong. The love Denali has for her warms Rosé’s heart, even if it’s a little strange to see her so cautious, so careful.

Denali’s no stranger to stress or anxiety or intense focus, to long hours perfecting everything she does. But she also has no trouble climbing on a pile of books, which are in turn piled on top of a chair, to change a lightbulb, or walking around with a self-bandaged broken toe, because ‘I’m at three months without an urgent care visit, Rosie, and why break the streak?’ She’s the reason their medicine cabinet is as well-stocked as a hospital supply closet, the reason ‘we can’t have nice things, Denali,’ after deciding that turning cartwheels was a valid way to test the size of their kitchen and knocking over a row of wine glasses.

Rosé’s the one who reaches for her soup recipe when Denali so much as sniffles, the one who insists on all the urgent care visits, just to be safe. A kind of nervous care she always has for Denali even if she herself is guilty of going to work when she should take a sick day, never wanting anything to stop her. The pregnancy has changed things, and now Denali takes notes at Rosé’s doctor’s appointments and looks at her in worry anytime Rosé has a cramp. Rosé’s just going to let herself be cared for, because there’s no one else she’d rather have care for her.

Rosé manages a smile, squeezing Denali’s hand. “You do help me. So, so much, Denali. Seriously, I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’m just being dramatic.”

Denali opens her mouth in mock surprise. “You being dramatic? I never would have guessed!”

Rosé swats at her gently.

“Really, though, you deserve to be dramatic. I mean, you’re carrying a baby, Rosie. Like, a little human.”

It feels special, to hear it like that. It’s been frustrating for Rosé to move slower than she normally does, to back out of their normal weekend shopping trips because she’s just so tired. Frustrating to feel so useless, barely able to help Denali make dinner without having to go to the bathroom every five minutes or take a break because her legs are sore. Part of her wants to push through, do the things she normally does. But she’s learning to give in, to let herself rest while Denali dotes on her, because it’s not just her anymore. She has a little human inside her.

Their little human.

“I love you,” Rosé says.

“I love you too.”

—

Rosé surveys the walls of the nursery, plotting out the arrangements for the jungle animal decals. Denali had painted the walls a soft pastel yellow last week while Rosé watched, because Denali was afraid of her being around the fumes. ‘I’m not gonna huff the paint, Denali, I just want to help,’ Rosé had insisted, because it wasn’t fair to make Denali do all the work, but she gave in and sat in the hallway without much of a fight. She’s always been cautious, and she can’t let anything happen to the baby.

Even if they’re getting the nursery ready, it still feels a little surreal, a little hard to believe that in a few more months, there’ll be a baby to fill it. Her belly is starting to grow, and she has to lean over it to kiss Denali on the cheek.

“We’re really doing this,” she whispers. There were moments after the negative tests when she thought they’d never get here, that the spare bedroom would forever be a spare bedroom, home to odds and ends and the occasional house guest. But now it’s really happening, and Rosé rests a hand on her stomach for proof.

“I know.” Denali leans her head on Rosé’s shoulder, and they stand there together, looking at the walls and picturing everything that will happen in this room. They’ll read to their baby here every night, each trying to outdo the other with ridiculous voices for the characters. They’ll play in here together, sprawled out on the rug laughing with joy. They’ll—

“Guess who’s here, bitches!” Jan’s voice booms down the hall, killing the moment.

The baby kicks, and Rosé rubs her stomach in sympathy. “Poor thing, not even born yet and Jan’s already giving you a headache.”

Denali thought it would be fun to invite their friends to help, but as Jan, Lagoona, Olivia, Utica, Symone, and Kahmora pack themselves into the nursery, the real fun is going to be seeing how many people they can possibly fit in here.

Olivia asks about a hundred questions; Utica gives long-winded answers to all of said questions; Jan and Lagoona argue about turning screws clockwise as they assemble the crib, the argument reaching its peak when Lagoona storms out of the room and comes back with the clock off the hallway wall to prove her point; Kahmora takes an hour to find a spot for one decal; and Symone is the only one who actually gets anything done, artfully arranging books and stuffed animals in a magazine-worthy spread.

When everyone finally leaves, the hall clock replaced and slightly crooked, Rosé and Denali sink to the floor of their baby’s room and let themselves dream.

—

Rosé’s sisters took their baby shower planning very seriously, and Denali’s eyes keep bouncing around the place, taking in the decorations and balloons and perfect dessert table with perfect pastel cupcakes and perfect pastel macaroons. They even got a freaking chocolate fountain.

Guests rush up to them, nearly trampling Denali in their hurry to kiss and hug Rosé and ask her all about the baby. Denali hangs off to the side, watching and hating the way everyone rubs their hand over Rosé’s baby bump without even asking her. Rosé would say yes anyway—she’s always craving touch and physical affection—but Denali still wishes they would ask. Wishes they wouldn’t treat Rosé like some novelty act, passing her around to each other to touch and commenting on how well she looks at this stage, like it’s any of their business, like her first priority should be how good she looks while seven months pregnant. Denali knows they mean well, but she hates it. And she hates how in public, people’s eyes go right to Rosé and blow past Denali, how often they ask Rosé where her husband is. Like Denali isn’t even there. Like the baby is Rosé’s only. She’s not jealous, not at all—especially not when every part of Rosé’s body aches, when her moods go up and down, when she’s exhausted but struggles to sleep. And Rosé is pregnant, after all—she deserves to have people fussing and fawning over her. But it’s like people don’t see Denali as part of this family, don’t see her as a mom, and it hurts especially now.

“Are you okay?” Rosé asks, and Denali’s heart melts. Even at her own baby shower, she’s still worried about Denali. “Did something make you upset, or uncomfortable?”

“I—“ She doesn’t want to do it here, in front of everyone, but part of her can’t hold back, can’t stop the feelings from running across her face, and Rosé notices, because she always notices.

“Hey, let’s go outside a second, okay? Get you some air?”

Denali nods numbly, letting Rosé lead her outside. The February air is cool on her face, and she didn’t know how hot she was until now.

“You don’t have to talk,” Rosé says gently, “but I’m here.”

She’s always here for Denali, and a rush of affection hits her. “It’s–you’re pregnant,” Denali blurts, every deep emotion betraying her with one of the most obvious statements of the century.

“Wow, really? I had no idea!” Rosé grins, rubbing her stomach, and it eases Denali’s tension, reminds her everything’s okay. “Did I do something?” Rosé asks, serious again.

“No, no!” Denali says quickly. “It’s not you at all.”

It’s not Rosé’s fault, and Denali won’t let her think it for a second. Rosé has been so good about it, always introducing Denali as her wife and telling everyone how excited they both are to be mothers. It’s not her fault she’s the one people direct all their questions to.

Denali takes a breath and continues. “It’s just … you’re pregnant. You’re the one having the baby, and sometimes people just–they make me feel like it’s your baby. Like I’m not part of it.”

Rosé nods intently, gaze turning sad as she listens. “I’m so sorry, Denali.”

Denali shrugs. “It’s fine. I’m not mad, it’s just … hard.” Part of regrets saying it, of putting this extra stress on Rosé when she’s dealing with enough, but another part of her is glad to have it out there, take the weight off her shoulders.

“Let me tell you something.” Rosé’s voice is firm now, and she takes Denali’s hands in a fierce grip. “This is our baby, Denali. Ours. You’re my wife. You’re the one holding my hair back when I puke and coming to all the doctor’s appointments and childbirth classes, and you’re the one who’s gonna be there for this baby and love them their whole life. Don’t ever think you’re not part of this, okay? You’re my wife, and I don’t care what anyone says, you’re our baby’s Mama.”

She lets Rosé hug her then, her arms fighting away all the doubts and fears she has, all the memories of peoples’ questions and stares.

“I love you, Rosie,” Denali breathes into Rosé’s neck. “You’re gonna be such an amazing mom. Seriously. I need to get my motivational speeches on your level,” she adds, pulling out of the hug with a smile.

Rosé grins too. “We’re both gonna be amazing, okay?”

Denali nods, and she believes it. She and Rosé have always balanced each other out perfectly, Denali getting Rosé to loosen up when she’s stressed, Rosé calming the chaos often brewing inside Denali. They could each be firm when the other needed encouragement, soft when they needed comfort. They can do this, and there’s no one else Denali would want to do it with. “Yeah, we are.”

“Good.” Rosé leans over and gives Denali a gentle forehead kiss. “Do you think anyone will notice if I take a cupcake from the dessert table? I really, really want one.”

Denali snorts, taking her hand. “Let’s go back inside, I’ll steal you all the cupcakes you want.”

—

Denali wakes slowly, blinking through the warm layers of sleep. Rosé is still sleeping beside her, and though Denali wants to surprise Rosé with pancakes in bed, she decides to wait. The back aches have been keeping Rosé up lately, Denali staying up with her watching home renovation shows and stroking her hair until she manages to drift off. She didn’t fall asleep until after 1am last night, and Denali wants her to get as much rest as she can.

They’re so close now. Just over a month away. Denali carefully pulls the blankets back up over Rosé, marveling at the swell of her belly. Pretty soon, they’re going to meet their baby, after all these months of waiting and the two tries before this. Denali remembers how awful those days were, how they had sat breathlessly on the bathroom floor, the pregnancy test shaking in Rosé’s hands as she looked at it. How she kept looking from the test to the box, checking and rechecking the results, how her face fell when she realized she hadn’t misread the negative result. The silence that came after, when Rosé couldn’t get the words out but Denali knew anyway. Rosé insisted she must have done something wrong somehow, her eyes filling with tears even though she never cried, and nothing Denali said could convince Rosé that it wasn’t her fault. But the worst part was that she wouldn’t let Denali wipe her tears for her, like she was afraid something was wrong with her and didn’t want Denali to catch that wrongness. Denali stayed at her side, watching Rosé sniffle and struggle to compose herself, until she finally slipped into her arms and let Denali hold her.

But that didn’t happen this time, Denali reminds herself now. She’s firmly in the present, watching Rosé sleep, red hair a tangled sprawl across her pillow. She’s so beautiful, even in her sleep, and Denali wonders if the baby will look like her, with red hair and green eyes and a wide smile. She’d love a little Rosie running around, she really would. But she wonders if the baby will get any of her too. They had picked a donor that they joked could’ve been Denali’s brother—dark hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, even dimples, for crying out loud. Will the baby have any of those traits, pieces of Denali even if Denali didn’t pass them on herself?

This is their baby, no matter how they look, and Denali can’t wait to teach them things, to share all the parts of herself. She wants to teach them to ride a bike, and ice skate, and make perfect chocolate chip cookies. She wants to help them find adventure and be brave and show kindness. She wants to give their baby all the love in the world, no matter what.

“I love you, baby,” she whispers to Rosé’s belly.

Denali stays in bed, cleaning out emails, until the mattress shifts and Rosé’s eyes flutter open, instantly searching for Denali and brightening when they see her.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Denali teases.

Rosé gives a sleepy smile, snuggling deeper into her pillow and reaching her hands out for Denali to join her. It takes a lot of rearranging, with all the pillows Rosé’s been using to help her back, but they manage, cuddling close together and breathing each other in.

“Let’s have pancakes for breakfast,” Rosé says eagerly.

Denali smiles. “You read my mind.”

—

The first contraction comes like a lightning strike after they’ve put away the dinner dishes one Tuesday night, a bolt that shatters the fragile balance between pregnancy and birth, before and after, and shoves them toward the latter. They’re flying down the drop of a roller coaster after months of climbing to the top, and it’s more real than it’s ever been. Denali wants to panic, frozen at the whimpers Rosé is letting out, but her wife needs her. She pushes away her panic, grabs the bag they packed at the eight-month-mark, and squeezes Rosé’s hand as they head to the car.

She doesn’t let go until the nurses put a brown-haired, green-eyed baby girl in her arms.

—

It’s their first night home with Charlotte, and the air feels fragile. There’s no monitor to scream if anything goes wrong, no nurses just a moment away if they need something. They’re on their own now. On their own, but not alone. Because they have each other.

Rosé wanted to have the crib in their room, just for tonight, to soothe both their minds, and Denali agreed. This way they’re sure to hear her if she cries, and they’re only a half-step away. Rosé knows Charlotte will have to sleep in her room tomorrow, but for tonight, she’s here, and Rosé is perched on the edge of the bed, just watching her sleep. She’s absolutely perfect, with thick, dark hair like Denali and a tiny dimple in her chin like Rosé.

After everything, after all the tests and appointments and waiting, their baby is finally here, and she’s worth absolutely all of it.

“We should sleep, Rosie,” Denali says, sliding next to her.

“I know,” Rosé says. “I just–I just want to watch her a little longer.”

“A little longer,” Denali agrees, and she rests her head on Rosé’s shoulder as they marvel over their baby girl.

#rpdr fanfiction #denali foxx #rosé #rosnali #lesbian au #pregnancy au #fluff #athena2 #concrit welcome #tw vomiting #submission #s13

[maggotmouth]

          hillo sexthy legends !!   i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !!  x o x

     * CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER  | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS  like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

—   born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

—  its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

—  margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

—  for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

—  at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

—  she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

—  a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.  

—  she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away.  it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

—  after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.  

—  she works at summer camps coaching  junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

—  enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment. 

—  she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

—  used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

—  was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

—  nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

—  has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

—  she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

—  calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

—  stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

—  lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it  off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

—  constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

—  frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you,  indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you,  a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine. 

TLDR:  angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

#aaaaaaa #we back boys #irvingintro #hmu for plots bayybeyyy

[somestansomewhere]

Debbie Gallagher: ALL Love Interests RANKED

Okay! I tried to rank all of Debs’ love interests and it was hard to do because I am not set on that ONE PERSON that I ship her with above all else, but these are my thoughts! Keep in mind that these are all MY OPINIONS and you are entitled to yours as well! Let’s talk about it! If you read all this ILY.

Here we go:

...................................

23. The Guy At The Pool (Season 5)

He thought Debs was special needs and she tried to flirt with him...

22. Kelly (Season 9-10)

I LOVE Kelly so much but she was not into Debbie! I really love her with Carl and Debbie should not have tried to interfere! I will however say that I really really REALLY enjoy their friendship and I wish that that would have continued on. They had some really good moments together.

20/21. Eugene (Season 6) & Board Game Guy (Season 7)

Alright so these two don’t technically count because Frank tried to set Debbie up with Eugene so that she’d be written into his will. And the Board Game Guy was from a deleted scene as one of Debbie’s “life partners” from that flyer she made. So enough said.

18/19. Tyler (Season 6) & Erika (Season 6)

Again, Frank attempted to set Debbie up with Tyler and while that “potential relationship” wasn’t as bad as what happened between her and Erika, I am grouping them together because Debbie wasn’t technically into either of them and it was set up to fail right from the start.

17. Larry (Season 6)

The pregnancy fetish guy! I’m not quite sure what the intentions were for this character in the long run but it was a funny joke in the episode he was in. Even in the beginning Larry gave off red flags, but Debbie was happy... until the truth was revealed. Weird.

16. Jared (Season 11)

Another irrelevant love interest: the gay guy that cheated on his husband with Debbie after giving her cocaine. Obvious issues with this encounter/plot line aside, I did feel that their interactions at the bar were flirtatious and I didn’t hate him.

15. Calista (Season 11)

ANOTHER irrelevant character that was used and never brought back!!! I didn’t totally hate her either, she was upfront about her ex-girlfriend and that whole situation. She helped Debbie and didn’t take advantage of her but the second she came on screen; I’m sorry but I did not give a fuck. Her last episode built up a potential friend/relationship opportunity for Debbie and they just did nothing with it. Idfk what else to say, not a fan but I did appreciate Calista trying to take care of Debbie when she clearly was drinking too much.

14. Sandy (Season 10-11)

Oh boy, everyone’s favorite partner of Debbie’s... Yeah, Sandy is so low on this list not necessarily because I didn’t like her for Debbie, or that I have beef with Elise (b/c I love her as an actor sm). I personally just hate the sheer fact that this character EXISTS in the first place. I never understood the hype, but I know that people only like her because she’s a Milkovich ie. related to Mickey. That’s the hard truth this fandom isn’t willing to admit. My disliking Sandy should be a post of its own but lemme get into her relationship with Debbie.

You could tell that Emma and Elise liked working together so the chemistry was sorta there (definitely not soulmate shit tho). Each time that they interacted in s10 I was over it. S11 was better in the sense that whether I would like to admit it or not, they did have some “cute moments” (mainly just Sandy calling Debbie babe/babes). The second shit hit the fan in regards to Sandy’s history, I immediately understood Debbie’s issue with her and why her character would not want to be with Sandy. But, with that being said, Debbie was also in the wrong because she made everything about herself throughout the entire course of this relationship! Sandy did call her out, ex: “who was supposed to take Franny to school?”, and things like that were nice. HOWEVER I am sorry to say, this relationship felt like a massive waste of time and it felt like they were trying to force something that shouldn’t have existed to begin with. I don’t have the patience to even analyze this anymore, but maybe down the line because clearly there is SO MUCH to delve into!

13. Alex (Season 9)

Omg I did not like this relationship/plotline at all. Alex had issues but Debbie was so inconsiderate! I never saw the appeal here! It was nice that Alex had the decency to go and help Debs with Ford after the fact. I just feel “meh” about this tho. They had moments but ultimately I personally wasn’t into it and Debbie’s random newfound self discovery of “lesbianism”.

12. Kyle (Season 3)

Emma Kenney’s first kiss! Kyle was a one episode character that did have the potential to be more than that. I didn’t hate the kid as Debbie’s love interest, but there also wasn’t anything special about him. He was just kinda there and then he left. Debbie really seemed to like him though, spelling his name in her peas, etc.. I do like that one line about cigarettes that Kyle had but again he was such a short lived character and when he turned out not to be related to Kevin it became unnecessary to keep him around... even if the episode alluded to him returning. They were sorta cute!

11. Claudia (Season 10)

So I didn’t like this relationship much either but there was a certain kind of stability in the relationship that felt organic and nice. Partly because I enjoyed watching Constance Zimmer and she made Claudia likeable. Do I ship it? No. Was it a problematic dynamic? Yes. Was it a tolerable relationship? Eh. I didn’t hate it entirely though. Debbie, being a Gallagher, eventually fucked it up. And while I did like the drama, Debbie wasn’t REALLY into Claudia as much as she may have believed she was. So, it totally felt like a one off that would end with Claudia not returning... and it was. So there was no time for an investment of any kind.

10. Hedi (Season 11)

Gosh... Debbie’s endgame(?). Hedi was introduced too late for me to care enough about her (At this point it would have made sense for Debbie to wind up with Calista because at least she was already introduced!). I don’t necessarily like Hedi as a character and quite frankly it was a “who tf does SHE think she is” kinda deal for me. At first I was interested and didn’t hate her (and I don’t), but then she “thought she was Jimmy” and I instantly got annoyed (LOL I GUESS it was a nice nod to him tho... I guess).

My (several) problems with Hedi as a character aside, there IS something about Hedi being presented as this “dangerous badass” who is (somehow) WORSE than Debbie, that worked well. I’m not a fan of the ship, but it is an interesting dynamic in the sense that Debbie could potentially be “living on the edge”. I fear for what trouble this could cause Debbie BUT it’s like Frank referenced: Monica vibes. I don’t think it’s “true love” like Debbie said to Franny. A constant storyline for Debbie has been “why can’t anyone ever love me” and so she falls in quickly. Maybe Hedi will leave her but that’s the thing, “she’s done worse” so idk, either way I don’t think it’s meant to last! But I guess I don’t mind them being together! Karma’s a bitch! Will Carl tell her what Arthur found? Would it even make a difference?

9. Julia (Season 10)

I would have actually rather preferred her with Carl too! It was never love between Debbie and Julia, but the relationship did create good conflict for my viewing pleasure. UNPOPULAR OPINION, I didn’t mind Julia as a character at all. She was fine for me. I also enjoyed how ultimately SHE was only using Debbie in the end. Julia does admit later on that she was experiencing with her sexuality so maybe she did have feelings for Debbie at one point, which I thought was interesting. Debbie got herself into this one. At least Julia was more age appropriate than Claudia... (which is ironic since Debbie got in trouble for being with Julia when the age gap is MUCH bigger between Claudia and Debbie LOL I love it)! I also found Julia annoying Debbie to be amusing, that’s not to say that I liked her a lot either cuz I don’t!

8. Matty (Season 4-5)

Man do I feel bad for Matty! Debbie raped him and it was horrible. From the get-go when Matty was introduced the relationship was hella awkward!! And not only that but Debbie was a MINOR! Matty did do the right thing and said they couldn’t be together but a part of me will always feel strange that he WAS INITIALLY attracted to Debbie before learning her age. That to me is still wildly inappropriate. He shoulda cut it off. He did try to be her friend and took her to that dance which was cute but ahhh this was just a MESS all around. Cringe. At least he didn’t take advantage.

7. Henry (Season 4)

Speaking of Matty and that dance, Henry was supposed to take her. He asked her as a joke in order for Seama to inflict revenge on Debbie. If that weren’t the case however... DAMN THEY WERE CUTE! The potential that this relationship could have had! If only it wasn’t all an act! It was a “day worth of love” and sure that’s not enough for two people to REALLY be IT, yet there was something charming about their connection that I wish was real. Or idk maybe Henry could have reconnected with her later and apologized and it could have been revealed that he did actually like her... but that wasn’t the case. Fuck him!

6. Simon (Season 1-2)

Debbie was NOT interested in Simon at all but at the time he was almost like the male version of her. Their banter back and forth was fun to watch and he probably would have treated her well. It’s unfortunate that we didn’t get to even see their friendship progress. Their interactions were funny and he was a good guy!

5. Batiste (Season 10)

Y’all may not understand why this guy is so high on the list but a part of me wishes this character wasn’t a one off. Batiste is the dude Debbie tried to return her “unused” shoes to. If you can recall, he wanted a blowjob to take advantage of her. While this was a dick move (and the plot went nowhere) a part of me would have liked to see more! He did have an arc where he acted like an ass and realized that it is wrong to degrade women. I just think it could have been built upon and Emma may have had chemistry with this actor. There was something here that I didn’t hate and I felt it could have been expanded upon.

4. Little Hank (Season 2-3)

Debbie’s first real crush! It was interesting to see how he didn’t like her at first and then a “friendship/relationship” slowly started to develop after he gave her flowers. IT JUST NEVER CONTINUED! Little Hank was in no way the most upstanding, but it was cool to see Carl have a friend that Debbie crushed on (when she was little she wasn’t intentionally taking something away from Carl ie. Kelly, so I support it). Their interactions were fun to watch too! The fandom definitely has a soft spot for Little Hank! And at one point everyone was rooting for them to be together. Too bad we never discovered what ended up happening to this character!

3. Neil (Season 7-8)

The bathtub scene tho! Adorable! There was a short moment within this relationship that was super cute where the two of them really did seem to care about each other and may have both been in love. It goes without saying that Debbie was only using him, but they did have SOME potential and they found a common ground where they each benefited each other’s needs. Debbie once again was TOO controlling and self absorbed to make it work, but I don’t think she was entirely happy in a relationship with him. He deserved more respect!

2. Derek (Season 5-8)

Baby Daddy! I really did enjoy them together until Debbie took advance of him and Franny came into the picture, but at the same time that’s one of the reasons that Derek, as a character, has a deeper connection to Debbie and the audience. I always enjoyed their flirting back and forth and the relationship they had (the deleted scene with the card/push up game ahh my heart)! Debbie really did mess up due to her desperation to “belong to a family”, which is another one of her consistent character traits. She just went too far and tried to trap him. Then shit got messed up between their families. Derek did eventually ask for parcial custody and did have a desire to be a part of Franny’s life. Debbie said no and that plot line died until s10. Pepa!! Ahh! RIP to Derek, it was sad to me that he died. Definitely a character and relationship that I wish was incorporated more because I truly enjoyed them together.

1. Duran (Season 8)

Besties with benefits! Stop! Nobody talks about my guy Duran! Sure they both said that this relationship was of a sexual nature and that they were just a couple of friends but damn! The chemistry and dynamic was palpable! It is truly a shame that we didn’t get to see more of this friendship! They were on common ground and really did care about each other! I don’t know why but I really just LOVED them together! Duran was also in her friend group with Farhad and that was a group that seemed to have a positive impact on Debbie as a person. S8 Debbie was cool! These two complemented each other so nicely! Duran wasn’t by any means the best influence on her because he almost lead Debbie down a “Monica path” but come on, Hedi is worse in that department. He was getting his life together like Debbie was with her profession. Just think of the hair convos Duran and Tami could have had Lol. Idk, I just like Debbie with him a lot! It was healthy to an extent and he was supportive of Debs with Franny.

#I could write so much more for each of these but I’ll spare you #guys nobody talks about the AMOUNT of love interests Debbie had over the course of this damn show #I miss characters with a lot of depth! #I want to do more of these relationship lists for other characters #my lists #my favs #shameless #gallavich #debbie gallagher #franny gallagher #sandy milkovich #debbie x sandy

[fangirl-on-bitches]

Bittersweet

Javier Peña x Female!Reader.

Word Count: 4k approximately.

Summary: You and Javier have a particular way of saying goodbye, so particular you get a surprise when you get back to the US.

Warning: a lot of cursing, a bit of pregnancy shenanigans, a lot of dialogue and a little messy plot and timelines lol.

A/N: Okay, listen before you continue. When I was younger I used to write, maybe not with the best grammar or the best plot, but sure as hell with a lot of creativity. Now I just can’t be that creative to write a complete fic or hc, so if you find this boring or a waste of time I’m really sorry. If you like this, I appreciate it as I really made an effort to finish it (a crapy ending anyways). I’ll be sincere, I had this idea and couldn’t get it out of my head so I wrote it. I feel like the scenarios aren’t realistic to what could happen in real life (I feel like they are forced or way too dramatic) I really hope I don’t waste your time. (and yes, I chose the name in honor of Pedro’s role in triple frontier)

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You were cursed. Definitely.

You were back in the states, had been for a few weeks, enjoying the warmest sun Miami had to offer along with Connie. You loved relaxing by a peaceful beach after years of chasing after Escobar with your life on the line every hour of every day.

That day you were really excited to wake up and meet Connie to go to the beach, it had been so long since you saw her and little Olivia. You felt at the same time a little uncomfortable with your body that day, bloated and kind of heavy, like there was extra gravity, but the excitement overwhelmed whatever other feeling you might be having.

The beach had some people because it was a nice day, so you lounged along Connie and baby Olivia, eating fried fish with chips as it was beach food. You were laughing at something Connie said about Steve, something about being a pain in the ass, which you agreed with. It was all fun and games until you felt horrible nausea and a pushing need to vomit. Connie, being observant noticed immediately.

“What’s wrong?” before you could answer you ran to the restaurant’s bathroom, puking whatever food you had that day. Connie came close behind you. She gave you a paper towel so you could wipe your mouth.

“Okay, I might be sick.” you admitted flushing the toilet.

Of course, your mood just plummeted to the ground when you were sitting in a private room in the hospital. Connie couldn’t check you, but she was looking for her friend on-call, meanwhile, you looked as baby Liv (as you called Olivia) slept peacefully by your side.

You didn’t like hospitals. They reminded you of your time in Colombia, and although you weren’t shot, your compañeros might have been shot multiple times. There had been too many close calls and so many lives lost, you just got the creeps whenever you heard a gurney moving.

Soon, Connie came back and carried Olivia outside, leaving you with her friend. She presented herself, and asked routine questions. How are you feeling? What happened? Does something hurt? Is your period late? Did you fall and hit your head? Do you have any diseases? Or do you take any medication?

“I do have nausea and I threw up after eating.” She nodded as she took your blood pressure. Then you started thinking. You were thinking really hard.

Your period was late, you didn’t remember how late, but it was late. Two months ago, Steve and you caught Escobar. Steve went straight back home and you had to stay, to finish completing paperwork. Then Javier was back in Colombia to follow the Cali Cartel, but you were assigned back to Miami and couldn’t stay.

To be fair, you were glad to be back home, but you really missed Javier. When shit went down with Los Pepes you were pissed off at Javier. You knew he usually overstepped the line to get intel, but this time he had stepped so far off the line, he wouldn’t be able to see the line.

The night before he left you decided you would drink your consciousness off because you hated to even think that Javier Peña was living in Colombia; after a glass of a really strong Rum and Cola you decided against it and knocked on Javier’s door.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, suggesting that he wasn’t up to listening to more of your nagging. Your head had a million thoughts racing, you wanted to tell him so many things varying from ‘you are an idiot’ to ‘why the fuck did you do this?’ but the only thing you articulate was something like ‘I don’t want you to go’

Javier’s face softened, although you cast down eyes couldn’t actually look at his face, he had stepped aside and invited you inside. “Do you want something to drink?” you shook your head, looking around the apartment. It was almost empty, but it has been pretty empty since the beginning. You sat on the floor, Javier following with a beer in his hand.

“Will you come back?” you asked him, but you already knew the answer.

“I don’t think so, it depends on the higher ups in the states” you nodded, looking at him. You were really going to miss him. “Look, it’s not like we won’t see each other anymore, when you guys catch Escobar-” you laughed humorlessly. How long would that be? Months, another year perhaps? 

Both of you stayed in silence for a while. “I should go.” you told him, standing up, he stood up as well.

“You shouldn’t go.” He told you, squeezing your shoulder tenderly, a familiar touch. You looked at his sweet dark brown eyes, a silly small smile playing on the corners of your lips.

“What do you mean? You have a plane to catch tomorrow.” you remind him, wondering if he was drunk, he clearly wasn’t. His hand, which was still on your shoulder, moved to cup your face. For a second, you were lost and didn’t understand what was happening, until you looked at his eyes again and understood. You didn’t wait for him to lean down, you just wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

You would lie if you have never felt curious as to why every informant in Colombia gave Javier the intel he wanted. After that night you understood why. He was passionate, attentive and a really generous lover. You might have even believed him if he had blurted out an ‘I love you’.

The only reason why you let this happen was because Javier was supposed to stay in the US, officially he wasn’t your (or Steve’s) compañero anymore. And that was true, even when he came back.

“Okay, so your results are in. After you told me you’ve been missing your period for quite a while, I drew some blood to analyze it.”

“Yeah, it must be stress. You know, I worked in Colombia with Connie’s husband and moving back here plus all the work I have to do was really stressful. Also, I had a UTI back in Colombia, I wasn’t drinking enough water and I read that the strain might move my period a little.” you started rambling. For some reason, you felt jittery, almost anxious at the look on the Doctor’s face. She had a grin in her face, really big and excited.

“That may delay your period for two weeks, but it won't magically make it disappear, dear.” She read the results once more and nodded to herself. “As I suspected, you are pregnant.”

“W-w-what?” you mumbled. “But I didn’t pee on the stick.” clearly, your brain had short-circuited.

“I have some pregnancy tests if you wish to take them yourself, but the blood analysis is pretty accurate.” she offered with a nice smile. You nodded and took the box going to the bathroom, trying to focus on reading the instructions.

The stick said you were pregnant. And you knew exactly who was the father.

You sighed at the papers you were reading, the office already empty, way past dinner time. Since catching Escobar, hours were cut short, but to you they were really slow. Steve wasn’t there, he had left a few weeks ago, Javier obviously wasn’t there. It was just you, some files and occasionally some booze to help you relax before sleeping. Thankfully, you would be leaving shortly.

On your way back to the apartment complex you stopped by a grocery store. You needed ice cream, and lots of chocolate, and some chips. Probably some booze too. You had bought a flask of whisky that reminded you of Javier, although whisky might not be your first choice of booze.

That same flask almost fell to the ground when you saw goddam Javier Peña entering his apartment, a big suitcase by his side.

He also noticed you, the dark bags under your eyes and messy hair evidence of your hard work. 

“Oh my god” you whispered, unbelieving. You walked and hugged him, relieved to see him again. “You are back?” you stupidly asked.

“Yeah, they want my intel and help to track down the Cali Cartel.” he answered.

“Well, that’s weird.”

“What?”

“My orders are to finish paperwork and return to Miami. They didn’t tell me to stay to help.”

“Well, it’s a different operation this time, more discreet.” he tried to hint you that it wasn’t just DEA business anymore, it was more a CIA kind of work. You invited him to your apartment, that had two boxes of things you were going to give to charity, you didn’t need all this stuff back home, you already had them.

He explained his situation while you shared the flask of whisky and bid good night like the old times, no kisses or sex, or nothing like that. Which was fine.

Everything was fine for the next few days. Javier even helped you pack your stuff and sort it out. The night before returning home he offered to go to the bar you always went to with Steve and him on Friday’s or Saturday’s (sometimes even a Monday)

Both of you drank like you always had, but instead of bidding goodnight and going to bed separately, you both had sex. Again. It was probably a coping mechanism, the way both of you said goodbye to each other. Such a complicated method.

So, so complex that now you were pregnant.

With a child.

Javier's child.

It had to be his, you only had sex with him within the last 3 months. Since Colombia you hadn’t have sex.

This was bad. It was complicated. You didn’t plan for a child; working at the DEA (chasing after Escobar) left you almost no time to think about dating, much more less building a fucking family. 

Could you do this? Hell yeah, you are an awesome strong woman.

What you couldn’t do was tell Javier.

When you came out the private room, you were fidgeting with your hands, Connie came and took them. “I’m pregnant.” you blurted out. Connie looked at you shocked; then you noticed little baby Olivia wasn’t on her arms.

Steve, in all his blonde mustache glory stood with his daughter on his arms, looking as shocked as Connie. “What?” he asked.

“Who is the father?” Connie inquired.

“What are you doing here?” You asked Steve.

“I came to pick up my wife and daughter for dinner. Why don’t you come with us and tell us more about this?” You nodded out of inertia, but you looked at your hands while walking, Connie hooking her arm with one of yours.

As you sat on traffic, you tentatively touched your belly. It was... normal. No kicking, no large or really hard belly. It was like there was nothing there.

You would have declined dinner if you knew the questionnaire that would come from the Murphy’s. Well, questionnaire would be an exaggeration, but you didn’t really like the single question they were asking.

“Who’s the father?” 

“I- I can’t tell you.”

“Why? We don’t know him?” you sighed and reassigned. You knew they would ask forever.

“Please, please, please you have to promise me you won’t tell anybody. Both of you.” you looked pointedly at Steve. He nodded but held your gaze, trying to figure out what you were really trying to say. A second later he muttered something.

“Jesus fucking christ.”

“What?” Connie asked but soon realized. “Oh, no way. Javier?”

“It’s Javier.” you confirm their suspicions.

“Are you certain?” Connie asked.

“Of course.” you paused and then added. “You can’t tell him Steve.”

“What? Why?” he sounded slightly offended.

“I should tell him first. He should hear it from me.”

“I can’t believe this. The minute I come back home you two just pound at each other.”

“It wasn’t like that, and technically you were still in Colombia the first time.”

“The first time?” he asked with a chuckle, he looked very happy.

“The second time I was the one leaving!” you paused, moving the food around your plate. “How the fuck am I going to tell him? I can’t just call him and be like, ‘hey I’m pregnant and you are the father. How’s the Cali stuff going?’. This kind of news aren’t told over a call.”

“But it’s different, it’s not a normal situation. Javier could be in Colombia for years.” Steve reminded you.

“It wouldn’t make a difference. He can’t come back until his work is done.” You rolled your eyes, there was no good alternative.

“So you plan to just hide this from him?” Connie asked, her look full of pity, if it was for you or Javier, you didn't know.

“Only until I know he’s coming back. I’ll check on him every once in a while. I’ll need you to call him too, Steve. I don’t want him to suspect me.” He sighed but nodded nonetheless. You sighed as well, a million thoughts racing through your head.

You called Javier that same week. Of course, it was unexpected for him but really welcome. Colombia was not rainbows and sunshine. “So how’s the Cartel treating you?”

“It’s a fucking nightmare, but hopefully it won’t take long. I can't talk too much over the phone about this, who knows who might be listening.” he sighed, sounding really 

“Yeah, you are right.” for a minute, you thought about telling him. Then you decided. “Please take care and be careful.”

“Of course compañera.” he assured, you could practically hear the smirk in his lips. After ending the call, you pressed the heels of your palms in your eyes. How in the world were you going to tell him?

–––––– 

A month turned into two, and then five months flew by in the blink of an eye. Javier was not coming back for the time being and your belly was starting to pop. Your head was still working on how in the world were you going to tell Javier, which was the only problem you had right now. It wasn’t even a big problem, if Javier wanted an out of fatherhood he was free to go, but you had been so happy since day two (day one was a full shock) that you honestly didn’t care.

You were getting way too ahead of yourself. Maybe Javi wanted to be a father and he would be really happy with the little baby. But that wasn’t the Javier you knew, and that’s why you were so afraid to tell him. 

Today looked like the best day to tell him. You were going to probably get to know if the little baby was a girl or a boy. You were waiting patiently for him to pick up the call in the hospital public phone. After a while, he picked up.

“Hello?” his voice sounded gruff and stressed.

“Hi, compañero. How are you?” you asked, a hand on your belly.

“As fine as I can be here,” he answered. “What did you want?” he asked abruptly, almost tired of talking to you. It stinged a little.

“I just called to check in…” you lied, maybe it wasn’t the best time to tell him after all.

“I’m going to be as clear as I can. Don’t call me, unless you are fucking dying.” you felt a piercing pain in your throat, a tight knot forming, making it really difficult to talk.

“Fine.” you hissed and hanged the phone, tears slipping down your cheeks. Fucking hormones. Fucking Javier. 

Connie, who was waiting for you anxiously to come back, hugged you. “It’s okay sweetie, it’s okay.” you nodded and wiped your tears.

“I’m okay. I just need to focus on my baby and myself right now.” you told her and rubbed your belly.

“Of course honey.”

––––––– 

It had been a really smooth and sweet pregnancy, you were really happy with your 5th month old baby boy Francisco. He was really sweet, but he had so, so much of his father, the resemblance was uncanny. Deep brown sweet eyes, and a mop of soft brown hair.

Javier had not called you since that horrible last call. You knew he called Steve every once in a while, but you asked Steve please not to tell you anything about him. Both Murphy’s just assumed you had told Javier about the pregnancy and that he had not taken it well.

This was a lie. Javier had no idea you were pregnant, much more less with his child. But he was still in Colombia, so unless you told him he would not hear it from anyone. 

It hurted you deeply, not being able to tell your son who his father was. However, all around your house there were pictures of Steve, Javi and yourself from Colombia. Connie and Olivia were there too, even Carillo. 

Anyways, the baby was too young to notice the absence of his father. Maybe by the time Francisco starts wondering about daddy, Javier would be around the USA to talk.

Your son cooed and asked to be held up, it was time for his nap. Just in time, you thought, Steve was coming over to pick him up as you were going to meet your best friend in an hour or so. Your baby boy soon fell asleep, you held him in against your chest, rocking him gently.

Then the doorbell rang.

“Steve, you are early. Fran just fell asleep.” you told Steve. But it wasn’t Steve. Javier fucking Peña stood in the door way, his eyes looking at your son. You frowned and tried to hide Francisco’s face sneakily from him. “What are you doing here?”

“Hello to you too, compañera.” he said, but his mind was not entirely focused on whatever he was saying. His mind was in the baby, and about how quickly you had moved on.

“Don’t compañera me.” you hissed, in a hushed tone, the baby in your arms sleeping soundly. “Come in.” you told him, as you turned around to leave your baby on his cradle. 

Javier looked around, looking for any sign of the baby’s father. But he only found pictures of you, Steve, Connie, baby Olivia and other people he knew. Then he started thinking, what if the baby was his child?

No, that’s not possible. 

“So?” you asked, really anxious. You had no idea he would be here. You were not prepared for this. But really, would you ever be prepared?

“I came to apologize.” Javier simply said, his hands on his hips.

“Took you a little long.” you said, rubbing your hands together. “If you apologized sooner I could have…”

“Could have what?” you exhaled and sighed, trying not to cry. 

“You are not supposed to be here.” you whisper, your voice cracking softly as you sit on your sofa. Javier sat by your side and you felt the weight of your decisions constrict your chest, making it harder to breath.

You were a horrible, horrible person. How could you deny him knowing he was a father? That he had a child? It didn’t matter how angry you felt, or how much of an asshole he had been. The baby was made by both of you. He had the right to know.

“I’m sorry.” he was not sure why, but he really was sorry. You shook your head, and started to tell him that you were sorry, repeating like a prayer. “Hey, hey” he tried to calm you down, rubbing his hands up and down your back. “Breath, baby. Breath.” you complied, breathing deeply. After a minute of silence you took his rough big hand and held it, squeezing it slightly.

“Javier, I got news for you.” you started, and felt his hand tense. “The baby boy, Francisco, he’s your son, our son.” He looked at you, his eyes wide, looking like a deer in the headlights. “That time I called you, I was pregnant, and I wanted to tell you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me after?”

“You told me not to call you unless I was fucking dying.” you exhaled and stood up. “Look you don’t have to be involved if you don’t want to, I had Francisco because I wanted to, but I didn't expect anything from you.”

“Not getting involved? What are you talking about?” he asked offended.

“I’m sorry, and I mean no offense, but you don't strike as the kind of guy who would want a family, or children.”

“And what the fuck do you know?” he raised his voice a little, making you cringe a little.

“I’m sorry, and I can’t do anything to return back time.” you told him sincerely. A loud whine was heard from your room, where the crib was. You sighed and went to your room, to calm Francisco down. Unbeknownst to you, Javier followed you looking how you delicately held him and rocked him. The baby’s eyes were still closed, he was just a little disturbed.

You looked at the door frame, Javier stood there, looking at the child. You walked to him, your intentions clear. “Do you want to hold him?” you asked your voice soft and soothing. Javier gulped, feeling suddenly nervous, he didn’t know how to hold a baby, what if he dropped him? “Don’t worry, I’ll help.” you offered, a kind smile in your face.

Javier extended his arms and you walked closer, softly passing your son to Javier’s big arms. Francisco whined a little and Javier’s face cringed, making you smile. “Hold him against you,” you helped, gently pushing his arms, closer to his chest. Francisco was fast asleep again. Javier just looked at him, marveled. You guide him to the sofa, making him sit there with your son. “I’ll be right back.” you tell him, and at the panicked face he made, you had to quiet your laugh. “You’ll be fine.”

You called your best friend, telling her you wouldn’t be able to meet her. When you stepped back on the living room, someone knocked on the door, it must be Steve. You opened the door and gestured to him to be quiet, pointing at the couch, were Javi sat (finally) relaxed.

Steve did not enter the house as you promised to call later. You returned to the living room and sat beside them, contemplating how peaceful they looked. Javier had moved your son, laying him against his broad chest. You caressed the baby’s hair, looking at him with doe eyes.

“Want to stay for dinner?” you asked standing up. Javier nodded and then lay his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes. You smiled and entered your bedroom to change your clothes into something more comfortable.

You had nothing figured out, but you were happy knowing your son had a loving father to grow up with. You’ll figure your relationship out (if there was going to be one).

After some minutes, you heard some gurgles coming from the living room. Javi fell asleep, and Francisco was wide awake, looking at his father curiously, moving his little hands. You took the baby from him, kissing his chubby face. “Your daddy is sleeping, baby. C’mon, let’s give you some mashed banana.” you told him, caressing Javier’s hair back.

You spent some long 20 minutes feeding and nursing your baby boy while you also checked dinner. Javier, still fast asleep on the couch, woke up with a start, touching his chest, as if missing something. “Where’s the baby?” he asked, looking around.

“He’s here, Javier.” you told him from the kitchen, a silly smile on your face. Javier sat by the table, feeling self conscious at the baby’s gaze over him. His son’s arms moved up and down, talking unintelligible gibberish. “He likes you.” you commented, cleaning his chubby face. Javier held his hand out and Francisco took one of his fingers, squeezing with his baby strength. Javi’s heart skipped a beat.

Eating together was really weird, but at the same time it felt right. You noticed Javier’s tired face and wondered if he came straight from the airport. So you asked, sparking some conversation. You talked about what finally happened with the Cali Cartel.

“You got a place to stay?” you asked, but you knew the answer. “You can stay here if you want. Hotel’s are really expensive right now.”

“You sure?” you nodded. You forgot how well you clicked with Javier, it was a nice reminder.

He helped you with the dishes, and then went to shower, getting his suitcase for clean clothes. You prepared Francisco for bed, giving him his formula bottle after changing his diapers.

You saw Javier getting out of the bathroom, and thankfully had the decency to wear full pajamas, you would have fainted at the view of his bare chest.

“So, I’ll go to the couch, do you have a blanket?”

“What are you talking about?” you asked. “I was going to tell you to sleep in the bed with me. We already shared a bed before, so I don’t see a problem. Plus, I could use the help if Francisco wakes up.” you commented with a cocky smirk. You usually wore just a t-shirt to bed, but today you had to use full pajamas, like Javi did.

“Okay.” Javier said, not really convinced. Francisco was asleep already, his father caressed his little hand with his finger. You were already under the covers, ready to hit the bed, Javier looked tired too.

He laid down, under the covers as well, looking at the ceiling. He moved looking at you, you were both face to face, generous space between both of you. “I’m sorry.” You shook your head, and took his hands on yours.

“Sleep Javi, you look tired.” you kissed the back of his hands and closed your eyes, sleep getting the best of you. Javi smiled, his face soft, getting a little closer, leaving his hand on yours, then he shut his eyes. He had never felt more at home. 

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #narcos #javier x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader

[theladyofdeath]

Rags & Riches {18}

Summary: An A Court of Thorns and Roses Fanfiction. 19th century AU. Based on the prompt sent in by @cat5313 All characters belong to SJM, I am just a fan with a plot.

Warning: Mature content strung throughout.

A/N: Two more chapters. I’ll post 19 tomorrow night, giving everyone a chance to catch up!

Leave a comment to be tagged & tell me what you think! :)

The battle had gone on for over a week.

They spent their day fighting, taking little breaks, the troops taking the field in intervals, only stopping to sleep or refuel. 

Cassian and Rhysand were sitting on the edge of the camp, utterly exhausted, gunshots ringing in the distance. They each had a bowl of porridge, but neither of them took a bite.

“How much longer do you think it will last?” Rhysand asked, quietly.

“It will be over soon,” Cassian replied, “hopefully.” 

Rhysand nodded.

They still had the upperhand, the battle was in their favor, but Hybern was not surrendering. It could not go on for much longer. It couldn’t. 

“I got a letter from Feyre this morning,” Rhysand said. “Didn’t have time to tell you before we went out.”

“Yeah?” Cassian asked.

“Yeah,” Rhysand whispered. “She lost the baby.”

Cassian moved for the first time in twenty minutes, looking over at his friend. Rhysand’s eyes were hollow, the blood and grime covering the paleness of his skin. 

“Fuck,” Cassian breathed, “I’m sorry, Rhys.”

Rhysand nodded, running his fingers through his hair. “Yeah. I hate...that I’m not there, you know? She has to go through it alone. You should have read the letter...she was apologizing. To me. Like it was her fault.” Rhysand’s eyes lined with tears, he cleared his throat. “I have to get home, to tell her that I love her, and that it is in no way her fault. She thinks it’s her fault. It’s not her fault.”

Cassian sat quietly, watching, and let Rhysand sort out his thoughts.

“I have to make it home, Cass,” Rhysand said, his voice shaking. “I have to make it back to her.”

But he was so tired.

So fucking tired.

“You will,” Cassian promised. “We both will.”

The bell rang, their time for resting had ended. 

They set down their bowls, which had just as much in them as they did when they began. 

“Stay together,” Rhysand said, as he strapped on his helmet and picked up his gun.

“Yeah,” Cassian said, doing the same, rising to his aching feet. “Stay together.”

~~~~~

It had been two days since Azriel arrived at the port. He went past Illyria, knowing Elain was still with her sisters. Word of the war got to him often, news was always spreading like wildfire. The latest battle was continuous with no sign of stopping.

Azriel had constant anxiety, never knowing where Rhysand and Cassian were, never knowing how they were. 

But his heart eased, slightly, once he arrived in the drive of the Archeron Manor. He had only been gone a few months, but he was not the same man he had been under Isaac Archeron’s employment. 

Although he knew one thing did not change - he loved Elain Archeron. 

She was standing on the steps, along with her sisters, waiting for him. The moment she saw the carriage coming close, a huge smile spread across her face. She threw one hand in the air and waved, the other one cradling the little bump beneath her dress. 

Azriel laughed, breathily. She was so beautiful, so radiant. He had been without her for too long.

The carriage stopped and the cab door opened. 

Azriel hauled himself out with a grunt. He knew he was not in his best shape, covered in bruises and scars and stitches, his arm still in a sling.

Elain’s eyes widened at the sight of him, and he knew she was thinking the same thing, but it did not stop her from hurrying to his side.

“Don’t run,” Azriel laughed. “The baby.”

She threw her arms around him, careful not to hit his arm. Azriel tried not to cringe as her body pressed up against the wound at his side.

“I missed you,” she cried into his chest. Azriel pressed his mouth to her forehead, and when she leaned back, brown eyes shining, her lips. His fingers, shaking from the anticipation of this moment, pushed the stray locks of hair from her face.

“I missed you, too,” Azriel promised. “More than you know.”

“You look like shit,” Feyre announced.

But when Azriel looked up at her, she was grinning.

Nesta stood beside her and nodded her head in respect.

“Have you heard anything lately?” Azriel asked. “From Rhys and Cass.”

Feyre and Nesta both nodded.

“The day before last,” Feyre said, Nesta keeping quiet. “They are both well, but the battle had just begun when they wrote. I hear it is still going on.”

Nesta tensed, and Azriel nodded. 

“But, the good news is that you are home,” Feyre said, gently. “Come in. Sit. Rest.”

Azriel nodded, grateful, and trailed up the steps and into the manor, where he was greeted by Alis. 

“Lovely to have you home, my dear,” she smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you,” Azriel began, looking to Elain. “It is good to be back.”

Even as he said it, that guilt for leaving his brothers on the continent ate at him. 

“I set out some tea and biscuits in the sitting room,” Alis continued, before hurrying away.

The four of them sat in the sitting room and enjoyed their afternoon tea while making small talk. Azriel did not know what anyone was saying, though, because all he could do was look at Elain. 

“Will you tell us of how you got injured?”

Elain flinched, but Azriel looked at Nesta. Where her eyes were usually cold, they were filled with curiosity and pain. She had to be thinking of Cassian, had to be wondering. He knew what it was like over there, but he realized that loving someone who was shipped off to war was not any easier. 

Azriel cleared his throat. “I - yes, if you wish to hear. The short story is...well, there was an explosion. I was not caught in the middle of it, thankfully, but it left me, well…” he gestured to his current state, before huffing a laugh. Elain’s hand tightened in his. “My side was...hurt, badly. I was unconscious. My helmet had fallen off when I flew through the air….” he looked at Elain, who looked as if she was trying not to cry, and failing. “I do not remember too much after that, for a while. I remember hearing gunshots, and Cassian screaming at me not to die. I found out later that Cassian had dressed my wound the best he could with his shirt while we were on the battlefield, then he carried me out, Rhysand guarding us the whole way back, until we had reached the safety zone. Then they both hauled me to the nurses, where they stitched me up. They said I had lost a lot of blood and if Cassian and Rhys had not acted so quickly, I would have died. They were both there, when I woke up, standing over me.”

Azriel looked away from Elain, back to Nesta. The eldest Archeron daughter sat tall, her back straight, her chin lifted high. She did not move. If it were not for the tear rolling steadily down her cheek, Azriel would have thought she looked like a porcelain statue. 

“We are grateful that you are alright,” Feyre said, voice quiet. “Grateful that you are home.”

Azriel smiled, but said no more, because Isaac Archeron cleared his throat from the threshold.

Four sets of eyes jerked his way, but no one moved, no one had spoken. 

Elain’s fingers dug into Azriel’s hand.

As Isaac approached, Azriel stood.

“Last week I was told of your…” Isaac began, his words dropping off. He looked tired, uncertain. He did not look at any of his daughters. “Take care of my daughter. Please.”

Azriel nodded, unsure of what to say, unsure of what had gone on within their family in his absence. “I will protect her with my life, and love her unconditionally.” 

Isaac nodded, looking Azriel up and down. “I heard what happened to you. You have served your country well.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Azriel said, chin raised.

“I hear you are to be a father.”

Azriel looked back at Elain, with her hands protectively atop her abdomen.

“I am,” Azriel assured him.

Isaac nodded, jaw locked. “I do hope you two will visit. With my grandchild.” 

Elain sucked in her breath, as she rose to her feet.

“Do you mean it?” she asked.

Isaac did not look at Elain, but his eyes clouded over with guilt. “I should not have said what I did the other night. I will admit that, no, this was not the life that I saw fit for you. But, after your mother passed...” his breath hitched, his eyebrows furrowed. “Well, after she died, it was up to me alone to provide the best lives for you. I took that role on without considering your wishes, or your happiness. Elain, you are happy.” Isaac looked into the eyes identical to his own. “If you are happy, and this is what you wish to have, then...well, I suppose I shall have to warm up to the idea of it.”

Elain threw her arms around her father’s neck and sobbed. “There is simply too much happening for my pregnancy hormones to handle!”

Feyre laughed from where she sat next to Nesta.

“Although, I assume there will be a wedding, yes?” Isaac asked, shooting daggers at Azriel.

Azriel cleared his throat, suddenly more uncomfortable then he had been before. “Yes, of course.”

“Well, when that time comes, I hope you have it here,” Isaac said, eyes softening. “Among family.”

Elain laughed, and kissed her father’s cheek before turning around to the father of her child. She laid her palm against his cheek. “You need rest, I need a bubble bath.”

Azriel smiled as he nodded. “Very well.”

The two excused themselves, leaving the other three in a long, tense silence.

~~~~~

Nesta stared at the floor once Azriel and Elain made their departure. Azriel moved slowly, as if every movement caused him unbearable pain. She could not imagine living through an explosion to tell the tale. Although, she was certain Azriel was not the only one, but also certain that many did not live to tell the tale, either. 

Just as she thought Isaac was about to leave, too, he turned to Nesta and Feyre, sitting on the couch.

“I am sorry for your loss,” he whispered, to Feyre. “I should have comforted you, asked how you were fairing. Emotional connection is not a strong suit of mine.”

Thanks for passing that along, by the way, Nesta thought.

“It is alright,” Feyre said, words clipped. “Nesta and Elain were there for me. So.”

Isaac nodded. “I know. I am grateful for that.”

Nesta cleared her throat. “Well, if we are done here-”

“I cannot say that I approve of your choices of….” Isaac trailed off, looking at Nesta. “Men. But, you are still my heir. You will always be my heir.”

Nesta gave him a curt nod.

When it was clear she was not going to say anything, Isaac bowed his head. “I love you both.” With that, he was gone.

Feyre turned to Nesta. “Are you alright?”

Nesta nodded. She was alright. Her father’s words did not mean much to her. In the back of her mind, all she could think about was Azriel’s story. I remember hearing gunshots, and Cassian screaming at me not to die.

“This battle has lasted longer than the others,”  Nesta said.

Feyre slumped against the couch cushions. “Yes, it has. But, they are saying if we come out on top, the war will be over. They will come home.”

Nesta’s heart ached, her mind was a mess of emotion and she loathed it. In his last letter, he had told her he loved her, had told her he could not wait to come home, to ride Marigold together, to sleep in one another’s arms. He had told her that he loved Wordsworth, and read his work every day. You are the love of my life, Nesta. If I can never say another word to you, know that you are the love of my life. I promise to come back to you. I promise, okay?

His words had haunted her as she sat there, listening to Azriel speak.

“They better come home, soon,” Nesta said. “I need to tell Cassian that I love him.”

Feyre’s eyes softened, and laid her head against Nesta’s shoulder. “He knows, Nesta. I promise you. He knows.” 

~~~~~

Azriel was lying in Elain’s bed while she took her bath. 

“Are you still awake?” she called from the washroom.

Azriel huffed a laugh. “Yes, but hardly.”

His socks and boots had been removed, as had his shirt. His trousers hung loosely around his hips, one knee drawn up as he rested among the pillows. 

He could hear Elain getting out of the water. “How much pain are you in?”

Azriel’s brow rose. “A fair amount.”

She came around the corner, wrapped in a towel. “Is there anything I can do? To lessen the pain?”

Azriel’s eyes followed her as she approached him, grazing her body. “We could think of something, I’m sure.” He pulled at the hem of her towel. 

Elain’s cheeks reddened as she bit her lip to keep from laughing. “You are in no condition to do any such thing.” 

“You would be surprised at what I am capable of after being away from you for months,” he laughed, sleepily.

She shook her head. “You should keep perfectly still. Rest.”

Azriel sighed. “But I promise, El, I can-”

Elain dropped her towel, forcing Azriel to forget every word he was going to say. She climbed over to him atop the blankets, and straddled his waist.

Azriel’s hand, the one that was not in the sling, reached to her abdomen, brushing over the small bump that had formed.

“There’s a baby in there,” he whispered, eyes bright.

Elain smiled. “Yes. Our baby.”

“Hmmm,” Azriel grinned, then whispered. “I cannot wait to meet you, little one.”

Elain picked up Azriel’s hand from her stomach and pressed his palm to her lips. 

“I know you said I was in no condition to fuck, but you are truly not helping the situation, whatsoever,” Azriel mumbled. 

Elain laughed, softly, guiding his hand to her breast. They had become significantly larger, Azriel thought, than they had been when he left. He brushed his thumb over her nipple, leaving her to take in a deep, steady breath. 

“You should keep perfectly still,” Elain repeated, undoing the buttons of his trousers and tugging them down, until they were discarded onto the floor. “Rest.”

Azriel watched her every move, amused, enticed. 

Elain leaned down to kiss him, softly on the mouth, then down his neck, to his shoulder, just below his collarbone, and down his chest. He closed his eyes as she kissed around the stitching that had been holding his side together. 

Her fingers brushed down his abdomen with a teasing gentleness, then she stroked him, softly.

His eyes remained shut as her tongue slid up the length of his cock.

He groaned, having thought of this moment every day, every night, for the past two months. She took him wholly into her mouth, Azriel only opening his eyes to watch her wet, brown-haired head bobbing up and down. 

Azriel muttered a curse as his head fell back down against the pillow. His free hand reached to the back of her head, fingers wrapping into her hair. He whispered her name, moaning softly. When he started to move his hips, her hands pressed down on him. “Perfectly still.” 

She climbed up his body, one hand pressed against his chest, the other guiding his cock to her opening. Elain pushed him into her, her back arching, head falling back. 

In Hybern, Azriel imagined being intimate with Elain more times than he could count. He would lie awake at night, remembering what it was like to explore her body. None of the times he imagined it, though, compared to the real thing.

Azriel sunk into the bed as she moved her hips, thriving on the soft noises coming from her lips.

He found himself in awe, hoping that he would never have to leave her side again.

~~~~~

Nightfall was approaching quickly. 

Cassian could feel every muscle in his body straining to keep up with his surroundings. At least he had Rhysand, the two of them fought alongside one another as if they were one. 

He could feel the end drawing near, he knew it. He saw much more of his men than Hybern’s, not that Hybern’s men were backing down.

“They are trying to finish off as much of us as they can before nightfall!” Rhysand called.

Cassian nodded, looking around.

It was the same thing, constantly on repeat.

Aim. Fire. Aim. Fire. Aim. Fire. 

He prayed it was the last night, hoped they would not have to wake at dawn and start again.

He was ready to go home.

He was ready to fulfill his promise to Nesta. 

They heard an explosion in the distance. “Fuck!” Rhysand yelled, above the chaos of guns going off and men screaming in agony.

Cassian looked around, scanning the men surrounding him. His men, mostly, those who were not came and fell fairly quickly.

Another explosion sounded. Cassian ducked away, as did the men around him, although it was across the battlefield. 

This is how it would end, then. Hybern would surrender, but they would kill as many of them as possible before they did so. 

Another explosion.

The ground beneath Cassian’s feet shook.

“Rhysand!” Cassian called, just as men began to run back toward the valley, toward camp. “Rhys!”

He looked around, frantically.

He couldn’t spot him, anywhere. Not through the chaos of retreat, there were too many men running around him.

Cassian joined the movement, eyes still wandering. “Rhysand!”

Nothing.

Cassian’s heart began pounding.

Another explosion sounded, this one so close Cassian could feel the impact rack through his body.

“Fuck,” he cried, looking around, moving with the crowd of soldiers. “Rhysand!”

Stay together. Stay together. Stay together.

Their mantra echoed through his mind. 

“Cassian!”

Cassian swung himself around and caught Rhysand’s eyes, wide and full of terror as he, too, was pushed back by his own soldiers.

Cassian started to push his way toward his friend, but another soldier grabbed Cassian by his jacket. “The fuck are you doing? Back to camp! Hybern’s men are gone, but they will blow up every inch of this land trying to kill us all before nightfall! We won, now haul ass!”

Cassian jerked out of the soldier’s arms, still trying to dodge around everyone else, covered in dirt and blood. He did not pass one man that was not exhausted, was not ready for it all to be over, was not covered in filth. 

They had won.

He had to make sure he and Rhysand made it back to camp, then they could go home.

He could keep his promise.

He would keep his promise.

Stay together. Stay together. Stay together.

“Rhysand!”

“Cassian!”

Cassian looked around, chest heaving.

Stay together. Stay together.

Rhysand was behind him, just as another explosion sent men and dirt flying nearby. Rhysand ducked, as did the men around him, arms over their heads, protecting themselves from the debris.

Stay together.

It was chaos.

Too many men, too close together, not enough room.

No direction, none but fall back.

Men were tripping over bodies, pushing one another out of the way, trying to drag their fellow man back.

Fall back.

Cassian’s world was moving in slow motion.

Rhysand was running. He saw Cassian. He was moving. Cassian was moving. 

Fall back.

He had made Nesta a promise.

Cassian held Rhysand’s gaze, hazel and violet eyes meeting in silent conversation. 

Stay together.

Another explosion sounded.

The world went dark. 

~~~~~

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty @mariamuses @a-happybird @amusicalbookworm @manoncrochanblackbeak @alifletcher2012 @candid-confetti @fandoms-everywhere-united @mis-lil-red@littlehoneyybee @abillionlittlepieces @impossiblescissorspeachpaper @awesomelena555 @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @tswaney17 @jemma-nessian-and-elriel @rhysandsrightknee @gendryaforthemasses @dayanna-hatter @thebluemartini @welcometothespeaknowworldtour @julemmaes @christiashadows @sleeping-and-books @itsme-malin @agnez312 @cat5313 @amren-courtofdreams @chemica @empress-ofbloodshed @islamonna @illyrianbeauty  @sleeping-and-books @queenofxhearts @sleeping-and-books @aedionashryver-wolfofthenorth @queenofillea1 @mynewdreamwasyou @levivlio @hellolenas @burritowithfeels @that-other-pineapple @girl-who-reads-the-books @raghad-50725@musicmaam @rowaelinforeverworld @negativenesta  @welcometothespeaknowworldtour @gloriouspaintercreatorbandit@sannelovesreading @nerdperson524 @ireallyshouldsleeprn @nerdperson524 @mariamuses @gorl-power @booklover242 @rowaelinforeverworld @regular-nessian-trash @izou1204 @aelin-rowan-whitehorn @opheliatheemerald @eversincebeirut @musicmaam @ladybookwrm​ @santas-dwynwen​ @starryandbooks​ @candid-confetti​ @avenrebekah​ @awkward-avocado-s​ 

#acptar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #nessian #feysand #elriel #sjm #fanfic #fanfiction #period au

[welllpthisishappening]

Okay can we talk about ACOSF???? Bc on booktok all I’m seeing is so much negativity about how people don’t like feysand or don’t like nesta but?? I read this book, loved it, thought nesta grew SO much and we got to see feysand from a different POV which gave them depth! Plus a baby!!! I can talk about it forever

We can absolutely talk about ACOSF. I have thoughts, feelings, opinions and this is going to get long. And, uh, any of those super negative critiques:

Alright, alright, alright, so initial feelings? I enjoyed it a lot. Like, way more than I thought I would honestly because going in I was like eh, Nessian, but I loved Nesta’s character development and the flirt-to-roast ratio with her and Cassian and every single time Cassian called her Nes or God help me ARCHERON, my soul reached another plane of existence. Don’t even get me started on that one time she called him General. The noise I made was not audible to human ears. 

That said, there were some parts that I was like: oh ok, that’s happening. So, because I cannot function without organization, let’s break down some of the major things that happened into a LIST WITH OPINIONS ATTACHED

Sexual Tension Fucking fuck, these two idiots. Pining after each other while both desperately wanting someone, anyone, to be like — please stay in bed and cuddle me all night?!?! Idiots. Both of them flush with power and the ability to make people legit terror before them and they’re so goddamn soft with each other. Which is kind of hysterical because they are also able to rip each other to shreds? Oh my God, some of those fight scenes, I just—my heart was in my throat. And I do not want to hear a single word of how CASSIAN IS MEAN TO NESTA? Were we reading the same book, internet? Bro is In Love. From the G E T. 

Which leads us to—

S O L S T I C E  God, rip my romantic-loving heart out of my body. Learning what was in the box from the solstice before made me screech and then the music. THE MUSIC. Can we talk about Cassian, feared general, dude who has canonically lost track of how many people he has killed, cornering an ENTIRE ORCHESTRA to recreate music for Nesta? I just—f u c k. It was a lot. A lot. And then we circle back around to how soft they were and there’ll never be another and I am going to have to pace around a bit. I loved it. I love them. I nearly screamed when it took Nesta a few more chapters to realize it was a mating bond, and then Cassian just bolted because he also couldn’t quite deal with it, and I am still not super sold on the mating bond, like, as a thing, but I kind of went into this book pretty certain this was going to happen, so...good. Also them arguing by the Sidra, oof. 

There was a lot of sex in this book. I knew there was going to be a lot of sex in this book. I must have told my husband four different times, “God, there is a lot of sex in this book.” Some of it was good. Some of it was kind of cloying in its descriptions. I genuinely lol’ed at Nesta fantasizing about being straight up railed by both Cassian and Azriel. (Why was that in there? Still don’t really know, felt a lot like very obvious fan service, but it was also kind of hysterical.)

JEALOUSY DIDN’T MAKE ME WANT TO RIP MY EYES OUT I hate jealousy plots. HATE THEM. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves in relationship writing, but I was super into it here??? Cassian cutting in on the dance and TAKING DANCING LESSONS. It was good. I enjoyed it. 

Nesta’s Power Yo. YO. This was really cool. She was terrifying and out of control, while also learning how to be in control and intimidating and I was like YES, GET IT. When Rhys flew into the House and Nesta was just wrapped in silver flames, that was super cool. Also Rhys being freaked out by her? Kind of bad ass, honestly. But. But! I wish it was explored even more. I wish we got to learn what she could really do and the extent to which she could do it, because I thought it was a fascinating possibility to parallel Nesta to Feyre and I don’t really think we got that. Like, Feyre Cursebreaker — with power given from all the High Lords, this bringer of new life and a fresh start for all the courts. Then her sister — with power stolen from the Cauldron itself and death at her fingertips. With all the comparisons of Feyre and Nesta, I really figured we’d be gunning towards that eventually ESPECIALLY with Feyre being pregnant, and the idea of life in that capacity. Also, what was the point of Lucien saying “Gods help you all” or whatever he said when he was watching Nesta train if...nothing ever really came from that? We’ll circle back around to that in a second, during what will be my ending-based soliloquy, but first let’s talk about—

Feyre Being Pregnant, Why That Kind of Felt Like Twilight and Why I Get Why Rhys Was Being an Idiot Listen, part of the reason I wanted to read this book was for what I assumed would be the Feysand crumbs we’d get. Most of me was convinced that this book would not take place in Velaris and I was mentally prepared for that. Color me pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t and we got an IC feast. But. But! Part two! I’ve mentioned how I’m never really here for...pregnancy being like this ultimate endgame, and I understand why Feysand wanted a kid and I get it, I do. Just the whole thing with she’s going to DIE felt very Bella Swan, was kind of dramatic in mela-sort of way and I TOTALLY GET WHY RHYS KEPT THE WINGS A SECRET. Was it idiotic? Yeah, of course. But I don’t think we talk about his trauma enough, really. Those fifty years under the Mountain are not just gong to disappear, and I cannot really blame him for totally losing his mind at even the idea of Feyre dying. This is not a dude who is trying to control Feyre. I’ve never felt that way about Rhys. At all. This is a dude who has already lost ALL of HIS control and is desperately trying to hang on. He’s already had his entire world shattered six ways to Sunday, this was obviously going to destroy him. Aside from, y’know, straight up killing him too. (That was dumb, guys.) And I think telling Feyre would have made it REAL for Rhys, which he obviously could not cope with. Was I surprised that Feyre’s pregnancy was such a big plot point in a book that was supposed to be super Nessian focused? Yeah, for sure. But also—I like established relationships and Feyre and Rhys could not stop making eyes at each other. Not totally here for the deadly pregnancy trope, not totally here for using family as a trauma recovery, but sort of understand it. 

Training, Valkyries and Friendship Bracelets Like I said, I thought this book was gong to take place in the Illyrian camps way more than it did, but I L O V E D the training sessions. Adored Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn’s friendship and how often they teamed up to snark Cassian and Azriel. I was painfully here for all three of them together and the sleepover in the House warmed the cockles of my cold, dead heart. Especially when the bracelets proved so important during the Blood Rite. Which—let’s talk about the Blood Rite. Didn’t expect that!! Was pleasantly surprised by that!! Nesta drawing the literal line in the dirt made me fist pump the air. (And is another parallel to Feyre and her taking inspiration from old Fae legends, but that’s neither here nor there, whatever I’m not here to harp on missed opportunity.) I thought it was really important that all three of them got to showcase their own power too, and how they worked SO WELL together and I was just really glad that there was such focus on this sisterhood outside of literal sisterhood. I thought those relationships were so well done and it was just such a joy to read about their growth and strength and I loved them. Am I here for Gwyn and Azriel? Maybe. Possibly more here for Emerie and Mor? Maybe maybe. 

The House I thought it was Amren, for a very long time. Like secretly helping Nesta still and I was really into that idea and really into Amren not being able to totally let Nesta go and I wasn’t really into Nesta bowing to Amren. 

THE ENDING Oh my God, so much happened. So quickly. With some occasionally jarring scene cuts. The Blood Rite surprised me, but I was not surprised by Cassian getting ensnared by the crown. Fully expected something like that to happen, was still making ridiculous noises when he tried to turn the dagger on himself instead of killing Nesta. LOST MY MIND WHEN NESTA UNMADE THE QUEEN. I’m still sort of...confused about the Trove, though. I know there are a fair number of hanging plot threads that are gong to lead into other stories, but I just—I don’t know, when they were talking about the High King and everything I sort of thought they were leading towards Nessian being that. I know the whole IC was very into Rhys and thematically it made sense, but also let’s consider—I don’t want that? Rhys needs to get his shit in order and his own Court to calm the fuck down and again I think the potential for LORD OF THE BASTARDS and LADY DEATH to ascend to this position of power and lead the world into this new era was there and I just, I don’t know, I liked the idea of it. Particularly when so many people have referred to Nesta as a Queen. That whole thing in the prison happened, y’know? I’m not sure (read: I’m fairly positive) that won’t happen now, especially because Nesta gave up so much of her power to save Feyre. And I know that’s a TALKING POINT™ but also...I was pretty cool with that? Once it came out that Feyre was going to die, it made sense that Nesta would be the one to save her—to twist death again, and kind of seize control of it. Granted, I’m still a little confused by the Trove and what everyone’s going to do with all that power, but Nesta saving Feyre was this perfect sort of wrap up. For me, at least. I think they balance each other out in a lot of respects, and that was really the last step of Nesta’s growth. Also, uh, back on my Feysand ‘ish and Rhys screaming and crying and trying to get to Feyre? o o o f. Also, also, RHYS BOWING TO NESTA. I CANNOT TELL YOU THE LAST TIME I CRIED AT A BOOK, BUT I CRIED AT THIS BOOK. RHYS, BABY, I ADORE YOU. 

Nesta Finding Herself I just really—liked it. I think sometimes in these sorts of stories we get people who are so focused on characters being “the bitch” and having an edge and we have a tendency to think that’s what makes them STRONG. Nah, that ain’t it, son. I don’t want to read about someone being a dick just for sake of being a dick. Nesta was NOT IN A GOOD PLACE. She was self-imploding and destroying herself and getting her POV made it blatantly clear that she thought she deserved that. That she truly believed she didn’t deserve anyone else. And as much as the romance was good and the friendships were fantastic, the key to this story was Nesta (as cheesy as it sounds) learning to love herself. To find worth in her own self. Reading about Nesta simply learning to want to live again, for no one except herself, was really, really good and I think, for the most part, well done. Which is why it makes sense that Nesta gives up some of her power. This isn’t about being A BAD BITCH, PATENT PENDING. This is about love, and joy and embracing your own faults. I get the disappointment over Nesta losing her power. I do. But I’m not sure she totally did? Maybe that’s too positive, or too naive, or something, but...whatever. 

Other things that I really enjoyed, include but are not limited to: Cassian having allergies Nesta absolutely decimating Tamlin. And Tamlin’s just like...a lion all the time now, huh? And, uh, also is Tamlin Gwyn’s dad??? Like, is that a thing? Am I crazy?  Nesta telling Elain to fuck off (Also, Elain—darling, I wish you got more character development. Elain is to SJM what Belle is to me in CS fic. Sometimes I think she just forgets about her.) Azriel calling out Cassian for getting BLOWN at the dining room table Azriel getting Nesta a Solstice gift and then THEY HUGGED Nesta wanting an over the top mating ceremony. Get it, girl.  Feyre going full on Court of Nightmares in the Hewn City Nesta making it down the steps

Other things I thought we’d get more of and just...didn’t Whatever the fuck Lucien has been up to, and more on the continent with Vassa and Juran More stuff in Illyria Reaction to the trio in the Blood Rite Amren and Nesta reconciling. I know Nesta apologized, but Amren kind of got on my nerves.  Nesta understandably criticizing the IC and their tendency to get a little sanctimonious.  THREE SISTER PEAKS. THREE BAT BOYS. THREE VALKYRIE. WHAT IS IT SARAH? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 

#acosf #acosf spoilers #nessian #a court of silver flames #a court of silver flames spoilers #oh my god this is so long #i'm really not here for the negativity #so i will not engage with that #stealing-vengence #laura rambles #laura reads books

[aloisofmissouri]

A Journal Entry

July 20th, 2021

11:44pm

Trigger Warning:

 Sexual Assault, Self Harm,Mental Health, physical health, and occasional swears.

Dear Reader,

I’m only eighteen but I have experienced a lot, and so have many other teens I know. I know at least four of my classmates have been raped at some point in their life. And who knows what others may have been through and I never knew. 

But I’m not writing to share their story, unless they decide that they want their story told. As of now, I am writing to share my story. 

So, let's start with my earliest memory.

My earliest memory is watching Elmo and Little Bear from my crib in the living room when I was probably a toddler. I don’t remember much, other than enjoying the cartoons. It was happy and innocent. One of the few childhood memories I can look back on and smile. 

I was really young when I was first raped. First raped, you caught that part, right? Yeah, I wasn’t raped just once, but multiple times by one man. The man I had grown up calling my father. The man on my birth certificate. I’m not exactly how old I was when it started, but if I had to guess, I was probably in the first or  second grade when it went past the occasional groping and lewd comments. 

Near the end of third grade, my mother decided to take me and my sibling to live with our grandmother. But that didn’t last long.

We ended up moving back in with our mother and abusive father when I was in fifth grade. I didn’t want to but my father manipulated me into doing so. He threatened to place a restraining order on my grandmother when I wanted to stay with her. 

Things were miserable and the abuse continued. But luckily I was able to go back to my grandmother by sixth grade. But I still had to deal with what happened.

I believe my grandmother meant well, but she use to tell me not to let people know what had happened to me. She said that no one would want to be with someone who was raped because a lot of people view them as used or damaged goods basically. 

My grandmother was a bit emotionally damaging, though I know she more than likely didn’t know that she was being so. I have reason to believe that she has dementia and possibly a personality disorder. 

I remember her saying that I shouldn’t wear plaid or spotted clothing because it would make me look bigger than the broad side of a barn. She also told me to stay away from bright colors because they would have the same effect. I refused to stay away from plaid though, I kept that jacket from middle school until junior year when I could no longer zip it. But it took me a long time to wear bright colors, and it is still hard. I also have a hard time feeling comfortable in my own skin, and not just because of the occasional comment about my weight from my grandmother, but also because of the abuse I had dealt with from my father. I spent the majority of school always wearing jeans, jackets, and dark clothing. I didn’t feel comfortable wearing shorts. And I’m still getting used to wearing them. 

I had to go to court in middle school. Someone had apparently turned my father in for what he had done to me (I was living with my grandmother again by then) and we still do not know who reported them. I wish I could thank whoever turned him in. 

Sadly, they only gave him three years despite the evidence. And he was only going to have to serve one and a half years because of the amount of time spent in a jail cell waiting for court that kept getting rescheduled. He died of stage four lung cancer though before he was half way through his time.

My freshman year I finally realised I had anxiety and that there was something definitely wrong with me mentally. By my sophomore year, I was self harming and in counselling and diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, PTSD, OCD, and Anxiety. By junior year I was on a lot of medication thanks to a pill happy psychiatrist. And I was miserable. But thankfully, I found a new psychiatrist who quickly helped me get cut down to just one pill. Near the end of junior year, I quit self harming. And I also finally started to get a bit of control over my mania and my depression.

I have a Google Doc somewhere that has over 150 pages of poetry, and the majority of it is about depression, trauma, and anger. And they were all written during middle school and highschool. Writing poetry helped me then. Now, I don’t really write poetry anymore. I have only written a handful of poems within the last year. And they were mostly in Shakespearean English because I thought it would be fun.

I believe I might have religious anxiety. I don’t remember the technical term though. I grew up going to Baptist Churches and had a heavy christian influence. But sadly, Christians aren’t quite as christian as they are supposed to be. 

Due to being constantly worried about sinning and about being too filthy and being damned to hell, my depression and anxiety got to me from a different angle. I kept breaking up with everyone I dated if I feared we were getting too close. I would either feel like I wasn’t good enough or I would fear that we would have sex and I would be damned. I also hated myself for my sexuality, though it took me a long time to figure that out. I supported my LGBTA+ friends but when it came to myself, I couldn’t accept myself. 

When I self harmed, I would do it because I felt filthy and had this urge to scratch my skin off my body because I never felt clean. I never hurt myself too severely, just scratches and shallow cuts on my wrist and my thigh. But I still found it hard to quit. It became far too easy to always turn to the blade, regardless of if I was feeling filthy or if I was dissociating or if I was having a panic attack. 

Despite what had happened to me, I’m finally starting to become me. Even though I am still discovering who I am. I quite self harming, I don’t have quite as many panic attacks or nightmares, I lost my virginity, learned I am demisexual (leaning a bit towards asexuality though) Panromantic and Nonbinary. I also discovered I have some other health issues outside of my mental health. I am apparently allergic to alphagall, peanuts, and wheat. Thankfully I just get slightly sick if I eat those things though, but it is still a bit annoying when those things are basically in everything you like to eat. 

I also found out that the reason my menstrual cycle has always been so irregular is because I have cysts. Originally I thought I had PCOS but now after some ultrasounds, it is looking like Endometriosis. I have cysts on my uterus and my ovaries. The doctor told me that my insurance should cover the surgery if I were to get a total hysterectomy. 

I never really wanted to give birth so that part of this doesn’t bother me, my fear is that there will be issues from the surgery. And it has also spurred some identity issues. But so far, I am sticking to they/them pronouns. Even though my family still calls me she/her. But I haven’t really come out to them. They know I’m not 100% straight, but who wants to sit down and explain to their grandmother (who dropped out of school in eight grade to care for her grandma, has a flip phone, and just a few years ago decided to accept the lgbt+ part of her family) that I’m nonbinary? I barely manage to explain to my mother (highschool dropout because of pregnancy, has a touch screen phone and understand some things of the current century) that there is more than just straight, gay, and bisexual. I explained to my mother the other day what omnigender and nonbinary is. Had to explain transgender to my mother when I was a junior and introduced her to a friend of mine who was afab but went by he/him pronouns. 

I suppose that despite all the shit I’ve been through, at least my mother doesn’t give two flying fucks who I like. When I told her that I thought I was pansexual in middle school, all she did was ask me what that meant. Then she just nodded her head and went with it. Same thing when I decided I was Wiccan in middle school. She even bought me a pentacle necklace and every book (mostly fantasy) that mentioned witches. I no longer identify as Wiccan, I mostly just stick to animist. But my point being, my mother didn’t throw a fit when two of her nine kids came out as gay. Even if she does identify as a Saturday Adventist, she supports us. She even listens to me ramble about mistranslated things in the Bible and my views on theology. And my rants about Supernatural. Though she did laugh when I spent about an hour crying after the Supernatural second to last episode of season 15. She did listen to me rant about Castiel and the plot lines and everything. Though I had to keep explaining some of the characters to her. 

Despite the things I’ve been through, I managed to graduate high school, survive my severe depression and anxiety, and now I am thinking about possibly applying for Law school and going to college. And I now also have the confidence to do what I want and wear what I want. Though I still feel all nervous about asking out a girl I’ve been friends with for about three or more years. I’ve now made the excuse to wait and see if she mentions not being completely straight. Oh, and she now has a boyfriend too so yeah, gonna have to wait a bit.

Until next time,

Alois 🐧

#mentalhealth #metoo #abuse #journal #lgbtq #i swear #trauma #my life #moving forward #heath #depression

[hellreads]

hello!!! could you recommend some filthy/ explicit maknae line fics, also with good plot?? angst is welcomed too HEHE

hi there love, so I’m not sure if you’re asking for maknae line together in a fic or fics for Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook that contain good plot (this will be a mix of all the genres I read, may contain dark themes and some indulgent pwp as well) + explicit/filthy smut, but I’ll just list them all for you! | 🍒

Park Jimin

❥ Power Play by @dovechim➴ Pornstar!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You know him as the A lister of all porn stars; a man who sits pretty in his place at the top of the food chain. But you also know him as the Park Jimin who single handedly humiliated you and ruined your own career as a rookie just starting out, the epitome of the biggest dick in the entire industry… and you’re not talking about his assets. But when Park Jimin comes to you, saying he’s in a slump that only you can get him out of and begs you to sign an exclusive contract with him; things get messy… in more ways than one.

❥ Me, You, and This Thing Between Us by @boymeetsweevil➴ Married/Pregnancy!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You’re pregnant and Jimin is… happy about it.

❥ Bless Me Father by tesselate➴ Priest!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. - Mark Twain

❥ Side to Side by @forgottenpasta➴ Idol/Therapist!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ Jimin loves massages and as his physical therapist it’s your duty to help him relax. Even if it means blurring professional boundaries and going a little too deep with your “hands on” approach.

❥ Otherworldly by @sinning-on-a-sunday➴ Coraline!AU | Jimin x Reader | Two-Shot➴ When you discover a tiny door in your home that leads to a much better version of your own life, it seems too good to be true. little do you know, the man posing as your boyfriend may be a lot more dangerous than you care to admit. and he is not intent on letting you leave.

❥ Dear Father by @gukptune➴ Priest!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ Drowned in their belief that a demon has encased itself to your soul, your parents send you away to be cleansed.

❥ Eradicate by @gukptune➴ Purge!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ A hotel intern finds himself trapped between death and lust.

❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Neighbor/Stalker!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.

Kim Taehyung

❥ Effervescence by fringesofsanity➴ Idol/Secret Affair!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series➴ Just like the fizz of a cola on a hot summer’s day, your encounter with Taehyung is short but sparkly sweet.ORGetting married in three months, you and your girls attend Ultra Miami to cap your single life, a final hurrah of some sort. What you didn’t expect is meeting a beguiling boy with a boxy smile who gives you a festival you’ll forever reminisce.

❥ Teddy by @dom-joonie➴ FWB!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot➴ //

❥ Of Lace and Lust by @hobidreams➴ BFF/F2L!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot➴ Friendship rule number one: don’t imagine how amazing your bestfriend’s cock would feel inside you. except that’s all you can think about after accidentally discovering Taehyung’s kink for panties. specifically, the lacy ones you’re so fond of wearing.

❥ Slow Burn by fringesofsanity➴ Idol/Escort!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series➴ He was just supposed to be one of those clients. But then he gives you a night you’ll never forget.

❥ Aperture by @maliby➴ Idol/Fanboy!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot➴ You met Taehyung at a fansign and you knew right away that he was trouble, are you willing to risk it all for a fan?

❥ Hush Baby by @jimio-nnie➴ Idol/MUA!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot➴ You’re a new staff at BigHit entertainment and it will be your first time in participating in their photoshoot as a makeup artist. What happened if you got left behind by your seniors and unknowingly ended up sitting in the same van as BTS; more specifically on your celebrity-crush’s laps? It wouldn’t take long until the friction against his crotch peaked your arousal.

❥ Baby, Oh Baby by @jungkookiebus➴ Lovers/Pregnancy!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot➴ Taehyung and you have been trying for months to get pregnant; you’ve tried crazy diets, stuck to your calendar, got him to diet, but it’s all been for nothing. No matter how healthy your doctor says you are, you can’t conceive. Taehyung tries everything within his power to show you that everything is going to be okay and for one night he makes you forget all about the calendars, schedules, and all the crazy things that came with you trying to have a baby.

❥ A Matter of Shyness by @jjungkookislife➴ College/Sex Worker/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series➴ Taehyung is your regular college student, who happens to do sex work on the side to pay his bills, who just happens to have a crush on Y/n from Sociology class. She has no idea she’s been thirsting over Taehyung (Kim95) and he has no idea she’s been following him on all his NSFW platforms.

❥ Fill You Up by @littlemisskookie➴ Married/Pregnancy!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series➴ Your husband’s been very horny since you got pregnant.

❥ Dichotomy by @kpopfanfictrash➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot➴ You hate him. He hates you. It’s a fine line though, isn’t it – between love and hate?

❥ Flower Arrangements by @iq-biased➴ Lovers/Pregnancy!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot➴ From the moment you met Taehyung, his flourish for life drew you in completely. It wasn’t long before you fell head over heels for the tattoo artist who was so wrong for you, it felt right. But your story hasn’t always been an easy one, and just recently it’s become a whole lot more complicated…

❥ Partition by @iq-biased➴ Mafia/Infidelity!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series➴ Namjoon. Head of one of the fiercest gangs in Seoul, and your boyfriend. You know he has been working on something big lately. Whatever it is, he’s keeping it very quiet. So quiet, that you’re beginning to doubt whether he’ll ever get any time with you.But when his driver, the infamous Kim Taehyung, is tasked with taking you home during a date-gone-wrong, he’s got nothing but time for you. And time is something you’re finding it really hard to resist…

❥ Blush by @bang-tan-bitches➴ Idol!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot➴ “Will you kiss me here?”

Jeon Jungkook

❥ My Way by @ellieljade➴ FUBU/Infidelity!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stop sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

❥ Illicit Photography by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Photography/Student!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ You’re a well-respected university professor who assigns a portfolio project to your photography students, but your best student, Jungkook, doesn’t follow the rules very well.

❥ Taken at Dusk by @yeontanismypresident➴ Hybrid/University/Stalker!AU | Jungkook x Reader (x Hoseok) | Series ➴ The moment you sauntered into the party, his gaze was locked in on your form. Everywhere you went, his eyes followed along, not wanting to lose you in the huge crowd of sweaty bodies. There was something about you that drove his instincts wild. Was it your scent? Your attitude? The manner in which you held yourself? He didn’t have a clue and he couldn’t have cared less, so long as you were his and his only. And he would do anything to make that happen.

❥ Skirt Chasers by @koo1aid➴ University/F2L!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ “Baggy clothes are in, but you wouldn’t know that, Miss I Draw Inspiration From Catholic School Girls.”

❥ Milestone by @koo1aid➴ Brother’s Best Friend/University!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ Part of you is touched that Jungkook really has been there for every milestone in your life. The other part wishes he hadn’t shown up looking so ridiculously sexy.

❥ Blackjack by @kpopfanfictrash➴ Mafia/Lovers!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series ➴ Bangtan is one of the most vicious mafias on the west coast. Only six members are known by name though, with a mysterious seventh member dubbed only as ‘the shadow.’ When you become indebted to the worst of the worst – how, exactly can you find a way out?

❥ Chasing Butterflies by @ddaenggtan➴ Nerd/Jock/University!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ You never meant to be a jock in school. the volleyball team had just needed people and you were there and then you had a knack for it. you just happened to be good at it and went with it. similar to how you saw jeon jungkook in your friend’s orientation group and thought he was absolutely radiant and just went with it. for two years. you’ve spent the entire time pining from afar, mostly because you always seem to make a fool of yourself when he’s around, but also because jungkook is part of that exclusive crowd, the ones that you never can seem to penetrate: the weebs. that is, until your friends get sick of your hopeless pining and decide to do something about it.

❥ Sugarplum Elegy by @bymoonchild➴ FWB/F2L!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ You know no bounds nor depth with Jungkook. While your fuck buddy loves sleeping in your bed and doing laundry for you with his favourite fabric softener, you are in love with a mysterious honeyed, velvety voice on Soundcloud. All’s fine, until you find out that the voice that metaphors your heart to a sweet sugarplum melody actually belongs to the boy who has been taking up a special spot in your bed and in your heart, strumming at your heartstrings all this while.Or, Jungkook has one braincell, but it’s heart-shaped.

❥ DNA by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Breeding/Dystopia!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Jungkook’s career is in jeopardy when he begins falling for a woman he’s supposed to impregnate.

❥ Bite Me by @jeonsweetpea➴ Vampire/Fuckboy!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ You’re not very fond of your fuckboy blood donor, who’s an open masochist.

❥ Block Party by @minlucent➴ E2L/Neighbors/Fuckboy!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Moving into your new apartment brings back memories of your biggest mistake.

❥ New Rules by @tayegi➴ University/Frat/Sports!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ //

❥ The Kids Aren’t Alright by @sketchguk➴ FWB/F2L!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ Sneaking around with Jeongguk during your Christian retreat is complicated when you’re both dedicated to your jobs as co-youth group counselors at your father’s ministry.

❥ The Fitting by @noona-la-la-la➴ Idol/Staff!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ The younger Jungkook has a workplace crush on you, but you let the flattery get to you and make a proposition you can’t take back.

❥ Sleepy by @floralseokjin➴ Lovers/Domestic!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ Jungkook’s never too sleepy for sex…

❥ Altar Boy by @gukptune➴ Church/Cult!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ Altar boys tend to serve a much higher purpose than lighting candles in the church, though those purposes may be seen as sinful in the eyes of god.

❥ Secret Slut by @jeonsweetpea➴ Office/Christmas!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Two-Shot➴ Jungkook accidentally gifts you, his boss, a sex toy for Secret Santa.

❥ What’s Mine is Mine by @avveh➴ Idol/Fangirl!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ You caught his eye from day one. As far as Jungkook was concerned, you were always meant to be his.

❥ Lust and Errors by @imaginethisbts➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Step brother, fuck buddy… They were one and the same now. But what started out as some mindless fucking game, quickly turns into something much more difficult and complex.

Maknae Line (x2/x3)

❥ Number 23 by fringesofsanity➴ BFF/FWB!AU | Jimin x Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Your good friends - Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook - find your bucket list and helps you fulfill the 23rd item.

❥ The Pearl of the Temptation by vultras➴ Maid!AU | Jimin x Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You are working as a maid when you’re suddenly in charge of cleaning the shared apartment of Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. One night you happen to be working late when Jimin stumbles into the apartment drunk. You help him to his room and he forces you to help him change out of his clothes. You try your best but you quickly realize the situation has turned for the worst when his erotic expressions turn you on- and what’s worse? Jungkook happens to be there egging you on… what started as an innocent job turns into something you only thought happened in dreams.

❥ Maid for You by @forgottenpasta➴ Idol/Maid!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ As Bangtan’s dorm maid you’re expected to be professional, your identity anonymous. Until Jeongguk finds you on your knees beside his bed, with his rolex in your hand.

❥ Right of Way by fringesofsanity➴ Infidelity!AU | Jimin x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In theory, things were simple: your best friend was Jungkook’s girlfriend while your boyfriend, Jimin, was Jungkook’s best friend. In reality, things weren’t always that simple. And mutually exclusive.

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi➴ F2L!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

❥ Shameless by @imaginethisbts➴ Party/Voyeurism!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Taehyung’s the new guy in town, just trying to make some friends. And when Jungkook invites him to a party, he thinks he’s finally gotten a good opportunity to meet some new people. But what he doesn’t expect is witnessing his new friend Jungkook and his girlfriend, you, getting it on in front of him, and all of the other guys, at this so-called party.  

❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax➴ Assassin!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Jungkook | Series➴ As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know.

❥ Jimin, Please Don’t Take My Man by @countrysundae & @hobiwonder➴ E2L/Office/Law!AU | Jimin x Reader x Jungkook | Two-Shot➴ And in that moment, you made the most selfish proclamation to yourself in your head, looking at the two men in front of you, one a devil and one an angel. You would make Jeon Jungkook yours - in some way, somehow. You would not let Park Jimin win this round.

❥ In the Dark by @caramelkth➴ FWB!AU | Jimin x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Jungkook and Jimin have a very short attention span, and when you three are lost in the middle of nowhere with a truck that won’t drive, they find you to busy themselves with.

❥ Don’t Swallow by @gotmetalkinginmysleep➴ Idol/Poly!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Maknae? | One-Shot➴ Admitting your inner thoughts with your partner wasn’t a sensible idea.

❥ Money, Power, Respect by @minnpd➴ Married/Gang!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ //

❥ Cherry by @kpopstories ➴ FWB!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series❥➴ “Forgive me, ____.” He was whispering now. 

“We didn’t get back together.”You felt his hands skirt down your sides and it made you shiver a little. He was pressing his body against yours and his skin felt like the sun, warm and achingly pleasant. You were no longer worried about the wet clothes you had on, but only the scent of him. He smelled like rain and barely-there cologne and deodorant. He smelled like the man you had been sleeping with for months and who you hadn’t been with for two weeks. He smelled like desperation. Well, maybe you made that part up, but it felt right so you let him hug you tighter even as you asked,

“Are you still considering it?”

❥ House of Cards by @aiimaginesbts➴ Exes/Infidelity!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ A love from high school days lasted until marriage. Just not yours.

❥ The Doms Next Door by @tatertotthethot➴ Tattoo/Poly!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In which you unknowingly accept the offer to become a tattoo model for the two, sexually-crazed men next door.

#answered #tete-a-tete #spicybangtanwings #recs from hell #rfh:pjm #rfh:kth #rfh:jjk #maknae line fics #ohhh so this is a lot and i'm sure i missed more :( #i hope this list helps a lot of those looking for maknae fics #some are pwp some are shameless but most of all they contain explicit/flithy smut may or may not contain lots of feels #a long long long list