#from my family is that i am ungrateful even when i don't talk about anything and that others have it worse

[skzhua]

Episode four.

MASTERLIST

pairing: XO, Kitty's Min Ho x Female Reader

genre: Fluff, angst, enemies-to-lovers, slow burn, coming-of-age.

word count: 2.8k

warnings: Swearing, mentions of divorce, mentions of deceased parents, arguing. (And Min Ho gets on my nerves in this one.)

summary: Transferring to KISS was the last thing you had asked for and, yet, a certain tall boy made it seem both worse and better than you expected.

note: Bold - Korean, Italic - Over the phone

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"You kicked her out?" you yelled as soon as you stepped in your dorm.

Min Ho frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Kitty. I just walked her to her new dormitory. I thought we agreed you wouldn't call Campus Police."

He got up from the couch and approached you close enough so you had to look up at him. "We agreed I wouldn't call Campus Police on you, which I didn't do. You never said anything about Portland Stalker."

"I wouldn't have minded that much but since her new dorm mate is weird as hell, I am concerned."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Then don't be? I don't get why you all worked up on this."

You groaned and left to barricade yourself in your room. First day of school went on even worse than you expected. You were startled when you phone started to ring.

"Y/N! We just wanted to check on you. So, first day?"

The excitement in your aunt's voice made you feel bad for not enjoying as much as you should. They had been trying to get you the scholarship for a while to give you the best scholar environment and you couldn't be ungrateful to them. Especially not when it was all Principal Lim's doing for allowing you to stay there.

"Great. I met up with Yuri and made some friends. Classes seem fun and I like my roommates."

They smiled through the small screen of your phone. "We're happy to hear that. Tomorrow, you have a class with me. I can't wait to see you there." your uncle said excitedly.

"Me too. I'll go to sleep now. Good night!"

"Good night, Y/N! Take care."

After changing into your pyjamas – that were surely too revealing for some people but you didn't care at this point – you went to the bathroom for your night routine. Min Ho was already there, doing his own skin care. While he didn't talk to you, he still stepped aside to leave you some space. Him checking you out didn't go unnoticed by you but you decided to not say anything about it. You brushed your teeth quickly and then proceeded to apply your primer.

"That's mine." Min Ho pointed out.

"It's not, I just brought it with me."

He chuckled. "I don't think you did. This is worth $200 and my mom got it for me."

You observed him take it from you. "You do realize I have money too, right?"

"Because of Principal Lim and Yuri? Yeah." he attempted to mock.

You took the primer back. "Because my rich parents died five years ago."

Stunned, he didn't move for an instant. While satisfied with the reaction you got from him, you began to regret spilling out about your parents. You usually kept it to yourself that even Yuri didn't know what happened.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." he said, his voice now much softer.

"It's fine."

You went back to your room immediately. You didn't want to discuss it any further, nor did you want Min Ho to be pitying you. You needed sleep, and fast.

A week went by pretty quickly. Your uncle taught your history class and you both agreed to not act like family in class, although most of the students knew you were relatives. You bonded closely with Kitty over that week and rarely ever saw Yuri since she was so busy with everything going on in her life. Plus, Kitty was avoiding her as much as possible.

You, yourself, had avoided Min Ho successfully for most part. The only times you really interacted with him were in chemistry class or in the morning where he would always make you a cup of coffee.

You were walking to the library when Kitty intercepted you.

"Help. Me."

Analyzing her appearance, you took in the bags under her eyes and the hairdo that seemed have been done last minute. You held back a laugh and Kitty simply told you you could laugh at her.

"I'm so sorry, but what is this?" you sneered and gesture her whole figure.

"My roommate is the worst human being on this planet. She eats all day, screams at night, throws tissues at me – used tissues – and I have never smelled such a horrid odor. Get me out of there."

"Have you talked to the dormitory advisors?"

"Yes but they said the girls dorm is full."

You smiled apologetically. "Then there's not much you can do, I'm afraid."

She whined. "I hate this."

"You'll be fine, I'm sure of it."

"Says the one who seems to live the perfect life with the guys. How is that going for you?"

You let out a chuckle. "Q is the sweetest and Dae is pretty respectful of my privacy. But then there's freaking Min Ho who can't seem to give me a break."

She squealed. "Oh, Min Ho! I almost forgot about him." she wiggled her eyebrows at you.

"You're so annoying." you shook your head in despair.

"I know." she snickered. "Ah, by the way. Remember how Q and I found a baby bracelet?"

"Ah, that."

"I wonder how I can find my half-sibling. Do you think they would want to meet me? Do they know our mom has passed?"

You sighed loudly. "Kitty, I love talking to you but we went over the same questions yesterday."

"Sorry." she said in a small voice. "I'm just really excited."

"I know." you gave her a smile.

"We have a watch party tomorrow evening at your dorm, by the way, if you didn't know."

"I didn't know." you frowned.

"It's normal, I just planned it with Q. You can join us. Min Ho's going to participate."

You faked a smile and walked straight to the library. She really was determined when she had a plan in mind...

Q had begged you to join the Outdoors club. While you weren't one for physical exercise, you did love enjoying nature. So you agreed to go to the first hike at least. When you considered having packed everything you needed, meaning sunscreen and a bottle of water, you went to the living area and just had to listen to Min Ho whine like a child.

"I really don't remember giving permission to Y/N to use my custom blend products. She doesn't even need to use them, she has her own stuff!"

Dae zipped up his bag and ran out the door in a second. "Sorry, man. Got to go." he said quickly before closing the door.

"Thanks, great talk!" he yelled back even though Dae couldn't hear him anymore.

He seemed to not have noticed you were in the living room as he slumped on a stool and took out his phone. He looked at it for a bit and then sighed.

"You're always busy, you're never around." he said out loud before dialing to call someone.

"My darling boy!" a female voice spoke.

"Hi, Mom! You're doing good?" he waved at the phone.

"Yeah, just about to head to set." she informed.

"I miss you."

Your heart warmed up from the cute interaction. You were happy to know he had a great relationship with his mother, which you wished you still had.

"But since you're more important, should I tell them to wait?"

He paused for an instant. "No, it's okay. Let's just talk next time."

"Okay, kisses."

He hummed as the call ended. His head down, he folded his phone and breathed out. He kept the same position and you noticed that his jaw clenched.

"Your mom seems sweet."

He turned to look at you and was suddenly alert of his surroundings. "You heard?"

"Not on purpose, I was getting ready for the hike."

"I see. Yeah, my mom's great."

"That's good." you awkwardly went to the front door and put on your shoes while he stood still at the counter, not having moved much. "See you later, Min Ho."

"See you."

When you joined the group outside, you were surprised to see Kitty already stretching out. You walked up to her and asked what she was doing there.

"Q suggested I joined the club so I can have some time with Dae without Yuri around." she explained. "As friends, you know?"

"That's a good idea, yeah." you nodded in agreement.

Q was quick to arrive and encouraged everyone present to do some stretching beforehand. Dae then arrived as well and was surprised to see Kitty there. He joined her the moment he laid eyes on her and she explained to him that she wanted to stay friends. But it was rapidly ruined when Yuri spawned out of nowhere like a character in a video game. She interrupted their conversation and led Dae away from Kitty.

"Do I really have to hear from Min Ho that you're hanging out with Kitty?" you overheard her say.

Just when you thought the man had some sort of feelings behind his pretty face, he had to pull a move like this. Kitty changed spots and, after sending a glare to Yuri's direction, you moved as well and positioned yourself next to Q.

"Alright, who's ready to go on a hike?"

And Min Ho spawned too, and just right next to you. You were about to question him on his presence but Dae was as perplexed as you were and asked him first.

"What? I can't hang out with my best friends?"

You rolled your eyes at his behaviour. If there wasn't anyone else around, you'd definitely be beating the shit out of him. And what annoyed you even more was Madison coming up to him with a flirtatious look on her face. Though he surprised you by not looking so thrilled with her advances. You were thankful that Q started the hike soon later and you stuck with Kitty to avoid having to witness Madison almost drooling over Min Ho. It also allowed Kitty herself to forget about Yuri's presence.

"You guys are making great time. Let's keep with the pace, people!" Q encouraged proudly as you were almost to the top.

Walking behind Yuri, you almost walked into her when she stopped so suddenly and let out a yell. She jumped around trying to get worms off her and Kitty took the opportunity to go see Dae.

"We're in nature, embrace it." Q tried to get some sense into her but she kept on yelling.

"They're just worms, Yuri." you said but in vain, she wasn't hearing you.

"Is it on me? I thought the worm followed me, where is it?" she talked to herself.

"I'm surprised you aren't the one screaming about bugs." Min Ho joked as he joined your side.

You moaned in annoyance. "I'm not talking to you."

"Why not?"

"I think you can answer that yourself." you spat out.

Not looking in front of you properly, you didn't see that Kitty had tripped. Luckily, Dae caught her but as for you, you halted your moves too fast and fell backwards. And again, Min Ho was the one who caught you in time.

"So clumsy." he tsked at you.

You quickly broke away from him and cleared your throat. Meanwhile, Yuri interrupted the duo in front of you and Q went on about safety before walking again. You definitely regretted coming here.

"You still haven't answered my question."

"What question?" you acted clueless.

Min Ho chuckled. "So we're being petty now?"

"I'm always petty with you." you argued.

"You weren't this morning."

You groaned, growing impatient with him. "Can't you leave me alone for a day?"

He didn't know what to respond and you took it as he understood the message. With that being said, you fastened your pace and arrived next to Dae.

"Hey." he smiled at you.

"Not in the mood, just walk."

The poor guy gulped but listened to you and didn't speak to you again. But your hike was halted once again when Kitty and Yuri started to run to the end.

"Just, make sure that you stick together!" Q yelled at them.

"I'm pretty sure they can't hear you." you smiled at him sadly.

"I know." he shrugged.

Min Ho then went to Dae causing you to walk away from them. You hated this, all of it.

"Why did you come?" Dae complained to his friend.

"Because I'm looking out for you, that's why I called Yuri."

"Let me deal with it on my own."

Dae came next to you again, visibly avoiding the man as much as you were.

"So much drama." you heard Madison from behind.

"No one asked." you said loudly for her to hear.

With Kitty running away from the hike, you went on with the watch party without her. After Q set up everything, he sat next to Florian while you sat on the floor to let them have their moment. Focused on the screen, you were disappointed to get interrupted by Min Ho walking out of his room.

"Hey! My mom is in this. She plays the king's second daughter."

"Nice, now shut it." you said rudely but he dismissed your request as Florian asked him about her.

"Does she still act?"

"Oh, yeah. She's absolutely smashing it right now in LA. She's up for a role as a mermaid in the mafia."

"Great, can you go now?" you asked, insistent since you didn't want him to be ruining Q's moment just like he had done with Kitty.

He ignored you again and walked to the couch, asking Florian to scooch over to leave him space to sit.

"Oh, I could give you, guys, the behind-the-scenes dirt on this." he continued and you mentally cursed at him.

"Okay, I love dirt." Florian replied.

He finally shut it for a while and you thanked whoever for it. As per usual, it didn't last long.

"It took that guy twenty takes to nail that."

You threw your head back in disbelief. Was he that clueless to not get a hint? The thousands of glares he got from you and Q weren't enough?"

"Oh, hey, look! It's my mom."

"Oh, wow." Florian commented. "She's gorgeous."

"I know! Thank God I got her bone structure."

"Taking any opportunity to make it about yourself, uh?" you turned to look at him.

The infamous smirk was already there. "Always."

"Wait..." one of the other guys said. "Didn't your mom and dad have that messy divorce?"

"The whole mess was exaggerated to sell magazines." he said in defense right away. "But yeah, they did get divorced."

That part was said which a much calmer tone, it sounded almost sad to you. Determining that it was enough of him ruining Q's evening, you let out a long breath.

"Okay, we get the point." you announced as you got up. "Your mom's an actress, it's great and all but I need to talk with you."

You took him by the arm and forced him up. He tried to stay at his seat but you were stronger than he expected. So he let you forcefully get him off the couch and you dragged him back to his room, not forgetting to close the door.

"Is it the moment that we're supposed to kiss after you reveal you have a crush on me?"

You scoffed. "So you really do think about yourself all the time. I was saving your ass from talking any more about your parents and that's how you thank me?"

He smiled with a knowing look. "So you do care about me."

"I care more about Q. Tonight was for him to make a move on Florian but you couldn't shut it."

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?"

You deadpanned at him. "Really? Ah, you're killing me."

"Fine, maybe I did get the message but I'm looking out for my friend."

"Yeah, just like you're looking out for Dae when it's none of your business."

"Y/N, this isn't your business either."

You huffed. "You're damn right it isn't but for some reason, I get dumped with all of it and it's a hassle to carry so many drama when it doesn't even involve me."

"Just go away then!" he snapped at you. "If it's that hard to deal with."

Your jaw clenched as you stayed still, glaring at one another. You scoffed once more and left his room without adding anything else. It took you aback when you heard him follow you. The other guys had already left so only Q remained in the living room. That made arguing less embarrassing.

"Y/N." You stopped and waited for him to continue. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

You went to hide in your room and you heard him sighed in defeat. You didn't know what was up with him today but it only confirmed to you that you wanted nothing to do with him.

taglist: @nanaspalette | @schniti-is-in-the-house | @bakugou-katsukis-wife |@soobin-chois | @honeydewpie

Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.

#xo kitty #xo kitty fanfic #xo kitty x reader #xo kitty minho #xo kitty min ho #xo kitty minho x reader #xo kitty min ho x reader #min ho x reader #sang heon lee #sang heon lee x reader

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my mom I would blow up her entire household and myself in a gas explosion if my parents built me a house to live in?

TW for descriptions of child abuse and suicide mention

I (22NB) cut off my abusive father (mid40M) and left home when I turned 18. I'm going to call him Harry (fake name) from now on because I'm going to have to talk about him a lot. When covid lockdowns started I had to leave home because I phsyically could not be in the same room as Harry without fully disassociating and would constantly have homicidal thoughts, suicidal thoughts and panic attacks just hearing him walk around the house or talk from locked away in my bedroom. Growing up Harry would phsyically and verbally abuse me, he's thrown me out of a window and locked me outside of the house, pinned me to the ground and stabbed me in the back of the neck with a pair chopsticks, slapped me, kicked me while I was curled up on the ground and so on. My mom (mid40F) would watch all these things and never did anything to stop the abuse, his abuse started ramping down when my little brother was born (12M) so most of these things happened to me from 6 years old to being 10. Harry has never been phsyically and verbally abusive towards my mom or my siblings I was his only victim at home.

I developed a slew of mental illness traits the main of which being diagnosed cPTSD from this abusive upbringing. I also ended up developing a phsyical disability that limits my mobility when I was turning 20, I live alone and the house I live in is extremely unaccessible and even dangerous for me to live in. Because of this I am still in regular contact with my mom getting her help with things I can't manage to do on my own due to my disability. Her and Harry are planning to move out to the countryside and have a house built there so I am aware I won't be able to rely on her for too many years longer. One day she mentions to me that apparently they had been planning to build me a small house tucked away at the back of their property for me to live in so she could keep taking care of me. I'd never heard of this plan before and never asked for anything like this.

First of all I found it incredibly demeaning to build a little doghouse out of sight to keep your traumatized disabled child like an unwanted pet only kept around out of pity and some sense of responsibility, my mom comes from a culture where its the norm to treat disabled people like this and make sure they are unseen but I did not appreciate it. Second of all this would literally be the most nightmarish scenario for me to live through possible, I can't drive I don't have a car and there is no public transport or delivery services for food and grocceries at all outside of the capital of my country. My mom doesn't drive either so she would put me in a scenario where literally every single aspect of my life would become completely dependent on my transphobic abuser that I still get full blown PTSD episodes even just thinking about. My house, my food, where I can go and getting to the doctor would all become completely at the mercy of Harry in this situation. This is when I told my mom if put in this situation I would blow up all of us in a gas explosion to escape it because that's how awful living through that would be.

She didn't really react to me saying I would blow all of them up if this happens because I use exaggerated violent language often, she just called me ungrateful. While it was mainly to express just how bad this situation would be for me it was also somewhat meant as a threat, due to my disability I've had other family members try to get me declared legally incompetent so they could get a government caregiver from me. My parents could absolutely use the law to force me into this housing situation even as an adult, it was partially a threat because I wanted it in their heads that it a bad idea for them to do this to me, realistically I would just commit suicide to escape it instead. My cPTSD makes me incapable of having grounded thoughts and reactions to the things that trigger it, I know my mental problems make me an asshole a lot of the time but I just want to live my shitty life as painlessly as possible for however long I've got left.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[plsdonttakemyname]

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Characters; Nikolai Gogol

Genre; angst, hurt/comfort, scenario

Warnings; reader has family and friends problems, mental breakdowns, Bad writing. So please don't read it if you're uncomfortable with these. This might not make sense since this is my second time writing an angst , hurt comf and scenarios but I hope you enjoy it <3..

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Knocking at the door of Nikolai's office with a tired look on your face as you walked in. You were greeted by Nikolai, your beloved boyfriend.

"Oh, hello dove. I was expecting to see you there. Would you mind to share a conversation?"

"I just wanna cry." Nikolai's eyes widened abit before speaking again. "Cry away Dove.. It's okay. Let go of your tears and let me hold you close. You know how much I care for you. I'll never leave you alone again." He said and kissed your forehead " Now come here, sit on my lap. I want to kiss you right now" he said with a smile on his face. "I love you so much Kolya, it's just things are getting more and more harder for me y'know.." You were really tired after studying for hours straight without any rest at all. "I know, baby. But don't worry. Everything will be alright. Just stay strong for me alright ?. We have each other, we can make it through anything together.I promise everything will work out just fine". He said as he holds your hand gently "I just I feel like I'm always not good enough, my friends and family doesn't even understand that I'm trying my best to make them happy.." you said as tears started to build up in your eyes.

"I'm trying my best Kolya. I really am. but none of them believed me. I got called a whore, spoiled and ungrateful. I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like I wanna cry my heart out." You choked out a sob as soon as you finished the sentence "Oh, Dove... That sounds horrible. What happened?.. Tell me everything, please. Don't keep any secrets from me. I'm here for you. Always. And if anyone tries to hurt you or insult you, they won't get away with it. Not ever. Okay? Do you trust me Love?" He says as worries started to build up in his eyes and pulled you into a hug "yes I do trust you.. I'm studying really hard for college. my parents always told me to get off my phone and yelled at me when I'm clearly texting my project teacher about my work.This morning I got into an argument with my parents. They just slapped me because I talked back and I was trying to defend myself." You started crying while Nikolai is hugging you tightly on his lap.

"Oh Dear... You poor thing..That must've been awful. I wish I could protect you from these people who would do such terrible things to you. My love, you deserve better than this. If only..." He looks at the floor with sadness in his eyes "...if only I had done something sooner.." "All of my friends are just using me and talking behind my back I really don't know what to do anymore Kolya.I really don't. It just hurts." Your voice started to crack "I'm sorry Dove.. I should've known better than to think that those thing were worth trusting. They're nothing but troublemakers. They'd use you until you broke down completely. Then they'd laugh at you when you cried. They're disgusting creatures." He said while rubbing circles behind your back trying to calm you down "I wanna cry my feelings out but I'm really scared.." He hugged you tightly "It's okay, my love. Let it all out. Cry as loud as you need to. I'll hold onto you forever. No one else matters but us. Only us." He strokes your hair and gently tucking your hair behind your ear that was covering your face as he continued.

"You're safe with me.Never forget that. M'kay?" Your nodded and your sob slowly turning into small sniffles "Kolya?" You said his name after calming down abit. "Yes? What is it, my love?" He smiled warmly at you "Is there anything else bothering you besides your bullies,being treated badly by others or feeling worthless?" He takes his hands in yours and looks into your eyes lovingly "Tell me everything Dove."

"Am I annoying to you?.." You asked him as he laughs softly "Of course not, my love. Why would you ask such an absurd question? Of course not. You are absolutely adorable. The most beautiful person I have ever met. There isn't another person alive who compares to you. In fact, no other person even comes close besides you , Dos-kun and Sigma. You smiled at his response "I'm sorry for breaking down like this when you're busy... I just can't do this anymore I've been too stressed out lately." He kissed your forehead gently "Don't be sorry, my love. Just remember how much happier we are together. Remember how happy we make each other. And never doubt yourself again. You are perfect." He says and holds you close against him "I promise you will find someone special soon enough." "But...You're special to me and I love you Kolya." You whispered In his ears with a smile on your face now as he blushed at your words "I love you too my Dove. Now come here and give me a hug. Hugging helps calm you down after stressful situations. It makes you feel loved and protected too.. So... He said as he pulls you closer to him "C'mere! Give me a big hug I've missed you so much my love "

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A/n; Hii ! I hope you like this fic :) I'm so sorry if anyone is going through this too. I hope you're all doing okay now <33 Make sure to stay Hydrated and Eat in time, Just a reminder you're all perfect no matter who you are, You're all good enough. Some words can be extremely hurtful sometimes but it's the best to try and ignore them :D I'm always open to talk about it if you're going through a rough time/day :) I love you all mwah <3

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#bsd comfort #bungou stray dogs imagines #bsd fluff #bsd fluffs #nikolai x reader fluff #nikolai gogol #nikolai gogol x reader #bsd nikolai gogol #nikolai fluff #bsd imagines #bsd x reader fluff #bsd x reader #bsd #Stay safe everyone i love you all <3

[vodkacheesefries]

Was not prepared for the emotionally visceral reaction listening to David Archuleta talk about his mom would give me. These days most stuff about the church just rolls off me because I'm legitimately over it and I don't care but MAN. Wombo combo mommy issues and religious trauma and you have a recipe for disaster I suppose 🫠

Wistful queer exmo rambling under the cut because I gotta get it out somewhere.

Like! His mom just leaves the church because she loves him more than anything the church tells her or could say and it's hard not to draw the conclusion that mine doesn't because if anything, she's doubled down in some ways on Mormonism since three of her kids have left and one of them turned out to be a gender fucky dyke.

And I don't want to sound bitter or ungrateful because I wasn't even expecting her to take my coming out as well as she did, and that was a miracle in and of itself to me and I am so thankful for it; but she is still so Mormon that she believes someday when we're all resurrected this "burden" of being queer will be "lifted" from me. Being queer has never been a burden for me. The church and how it treats people like me and rips apart families as a result of that is the burden. She doesn't quite understand that, even though my sister and I have tried explaining. I don't know if it's because she just doesn't get it yet or if she is choosing not to get it.

Hearing how someone else's Mormon mom just so immediately heard how her child didn't feel welcomed in her church and that was enough for her to say "I'm done" so she left and mine has heard how I feel over and over and over again and hasn't left hurts more than I anticipated.

And I wanna be clear I'm not angry or upset with David or his mom. I'm so happy for them that they have that relationship and that he has her in his corner. It just kinda makes me sad a little bit.

#anyway I'll be okay #just kinda sad i guess #it'll pass #i just have to remind myself healing isnt linear #exmo things #exmormon

[apomaro-mellow]

alright, i'm going to go ahead and made a rant post about this car situation just so i can get it out and put it to bed. I don't mind if yall wanna comment or whatever but after this I'm just done.

So we need to go back almost a year. My car at the time seemed to be on its last legs. There was a repair it needed that was going to cost like $1200 and I had already paid close to that amount just a few months prior for another repair. I didn't want to pay that again but was willing to save up until it was suggested that I start looking for another car.

I will give my dad props for this one and only thing. He held my hand during this process bc it was my first time. Every other car I had, had been gifted by my grandparents. This was my first time shopping for one. Now it gets interesting bc instead of just getting rid of my old car, my grandparents were going to foot the $1200 bill anyway so that my brother could get it.

I felt iffy about that situation but figured it was for the best since I'd be getting a vehicle with no problems. The problem came about when he decided to drive it around and rack up tickets while MY name was still on the title (this cause my insurance premium to shoot thru the roof but thankfully i got it fixed). I literally had to escort my brother to the DMV to sort out all the paperwork and even THEN he took forever to actually change the plates so I was STILL getting tickets on my record and I had to be the one to go and take what were still my license plates off the car.

This could have potentially been an asshole move, bc I had no idea where his new plates were, but that's not my responsibility. Lucky for him, the new plates were where? In the car, bc he never did anything with them after our DMV appointment. This all occurred in summer/fall 2023.

Then in December, he starts having problems with that car. It even stops on him a couple of times. There is talks of him getting another one. Just like me, all of his (many) previous cars were gifts from our grandparents. I should have probably said earlier but these are all USED cars. We're not getting brand new ones, but still, good condition that we've never had to pay a cent for.

It's also worth mentioning that in the like....six months my brother has had my old car he got hundreds of dollars worth of tickets. Not a single one he paid on his own. Either I took care of it bc they were in my name and he's literally gone to court for not paying, or my dad has paid. But I feel like I'm digressing.

About last week, he curses out my mom because she asks him to *checks notes* receive his infant child when his baby mama drops her off. Apparently that was disagreeable and he cursed her out on the phone, then later to her face when she got home. The part that stuck out in his rant to me was that no one in our family had ever done anything for him. I think just from what I've stated above, it's pretty obvious to see that's false.

So whyyyyyyy

Why why why

After that breakdown, my dad and grandparents thought "Let's just give him another car"?

It is exhausting to see the same thing happen again and again. But this time kind of burned me bad because he got the exact same car that I have. The one I had to shop for. The one I had to visit sellers for. The one I am currently on the hook for a $10,000 loan with like 15% interest. My mother told me this was the case but I didn't actually see the car until this morning.

Here's where I give my dad the benefit of the doubt a single time: It's a common car, dealers have a ton of them, it's probably still an attractive price range. And that's the end of it.

But what I see, is that I can do everything I was told to do: do well in school, get a degree, get a job, start building my career. And it gets me virtually the same as if I did none of those things and on top of it disrespected my parents to their faces.

Like really, why am I working so hard? If doing what I do gets me the same as a foul mouthed, lazy ass, ungrateful son who's shackin up with the most frustrating baby mama in the world then what the hell is this all for anyway?

#personal #home life #it's quite a bit #fun fact! #the baby mama is a bitch #who has gotten into a fist fight with both me and my mom :) #and my brother had the audacity to get mad #i need #to get out #of this house #just in case we're keeping score #im on my 3rd car the first 2 were three #my brother has probably had at least 2x and many and has never paid for any of them

[nottapossum]

Father knows best chapter 10: Tough Love

Summary:

Tw: Locking someone in a room, talking about trafficking littles, judgemental parents, keeping secrets, forced age regression. LMK if I should add!

Notes:

Song recommended by: Jocasta_Alowish

 

"I knew what I had to do

After all, difficult children will take advantage of your good nature. So you lock them up from away the key

There's one on every family tree

Ungrateful

Hateful

Vile too, the things they put you through

Break their spirit so they obey

Now they'll do anything you say

Maybe you'd call it cruel but others would call it love

Tough love

I ask you, is it a crime to strive for perfection in all things?

Oh no, they're so cute when they're little but

Then they grow up and just ruin everything." ~Tough Love, Patti Cake$

~~~Loona:~~~

“Ugh! Why am I so completely useless?!” Loona shouts angrily, throwing a trashcan in the middle of the street.

“Loona, chill out, alright?” Esme asks. Loona dragged her in front of M&M's apartment in hopes of catching Moxxie's scent. It's driving her crazy that she can't help find him.

“Just focus for a moment. What can you smell?” Esme asks. Loona decided that she needed to keep trying to find Moxxie, no matter what and Esme was honestly starting to worry.

“I can smell everything else fine! Just…” She sighs. “Not him.” Loona hugs herself, unsure how to handle how she's feeling about this.

“Well. You're not broken because you can't smell one specific thing. It's easy enough to lose a scent.” Esme says.

“You don't get it! I had to live with that scent for 3 years, I know it! Why can't I detect it?!” Loona shouts. She takes a deep breath,“My abilities are the only reason anyone has ever kept me around longer than a week! This is the reason they keep me around!” She pointed at her nose. “If I can't do this…”

“Loon-”

“If I can't do this, what use am I to them?” She asks.

Esme takes Loona's hand and sits down on a nearby bench. “Come on, Loon. Your dad loves you. Do you honestly think he adopted you just so you can work for him?” She asks.

“Why else would he?” She asks. “That's what hellhounds are for!”

“Well, he could have chosen any hellhound there, but he picked you despite what everyone said. Whatever the reason, he has loved and cared about you, even when you don't always listen or do what hellhounds are ‘supposed’ to do. I don't think that will change…and if it does. You still have me.” She says.

Loona nods, honestly without Blitzø she wouldn't even have Esme…who knows where she would have ended up.

“Loona, your value isn't defined by your species or classification. It's who you are that matters. It'll be okay.” Esme says. “You will find him. And it's not your fault you haven't yet, understand me?”

Loona nods and wipes away a tear. “Yeah.”

“I know it's hard. But it's really not your fault, everything's gonna be okay.” She says.

Loona nods and hugs Esme. “Thanks, E. I needed to hear that.”

Esme smiles and pets Loona’s hair. “Of course, L. I love you.”

Loona smiles. “I love you too.”

~~~Later:~~~

Loona decided if she can’t help track Moxxie with her nose, she could help Blitzø with whatever he was working on.

“Dad?” Loona asks, walking into his office.

“Not now, loonie. I'm very busy with trying to find Moxxie.”

“Yeah…I can see that. Do you want me to get you a drink? Or something to eat?” She asks. “You've been working non stop and…you don’t look…so good.”

Blitzø shakes his head. “I'm fine.”

“But maybe-”

“Loonie, I said I'm fine.” Blitzø says. “Please just-” Blitzø sighs. “Just let me work, okay?”

Loona has never seen Blitzø like this before, it was almost terrifying.

“Yeah…okay.” She says, closing the door behind her since she didn't know what else to do.

God, was she useless.

~~~Millie:~~~

It was getting late…

Millie has been trying non-stop to get a hold of Blitzø to figure out what the hell was going on!

The only one who answered was Loona, who had no idea and only said Blitzø was ‘busy’.

She needed a plan, a lead, she needed something! She's sick of being kept in the dark!

She decided it best to get some rest and then head to pride tomorrow morning…she supposed it was better that way, though she doubts she'll actually sleep.

Why did she ever leave him alone?

She headed to her parents' place for the night, she doesn't feel up to killing Blitzø yet.

~~~~~~~

Millie told her family about Moxxie at dinner, about the Mafia and his family in wrath. She's not sure why she felt the need to, it just sorta slipped out.

“Moxxie? In the mafia?” Buck asks.

“That checks.” Owen says.

“I knew there was somethin about him. I never really liked him anyway, he relies on you way too much.” Lynn says.

“We did tell you he wasn’t cut out for this family.” Jo says. “Claims to be a wrathian but he can’t even wrestle a hellhog.”

“What are you talking about?” Millie asks. “This changes nothin. I'm sure Crimson has him somewhere and I'm going to find him and bring him back home!”

“Millie, you shouldn't stay with someone if they're lying to you.” Lynn says.

“Your mother's right, pumpkin. There are plenty of great guys and girls who live around here who-”

Millie’s hands slam on the table. “How fucking dare you! This family would be so fucking lucky to have him if they’d just give him a damn chance! Moxxie is my husband, I chose him! And last time I checked, I don’t need your permission to do that, and he doesn’t need your approval either! I don’t care if you like him or not, I don't care what he did or who his parents are! He's part of this family! The reality is: I’d trade a lifetime with all of you for one moment with him!” Millie says. “If you can’t accept him for who he is, I can’t accept you for who you are.”

Millie ran out of the house and slammed the door.

“Millie wait!” Owen shouts as he and the other brothers runs after Millie.

Sallie Mae was about to follow, but she turned to her parents. “That's why Millie never visits by the way. I hope yer proud of yourselves.” She says, walking out.

The brothers and Sallie Mae follow Millie who was leaning against one of the fences.

“Millie, I am so sorry. Are you okay?” Buck asks her.

Millie whines away a tear. “M’fine.”

“Are you crying?” Dale asks.

“Shut up.” Owen says to him. “Mil?”

“I just don't know what to do.” Millie says.

“It'll be okay. You'll find him.” Buck says.

“Yeah, you're great at finding things.” Dale says.

Millie ignores dale and keeps talking. “I have a feelin’ his good for nothin father has him, but I can't prove it.” She says.

“Sounds right.” Sallie Mae says. “I don't think Moxxie would just leave without good reason. He's weak as hell, but not a coward.”

“How could he not tell me about what happened to him?” Millie asks. “I've always been there for Moxxie! He should have trusted me!”

“Maybe he wanted to protect you?” Owen suggests. “What you know can't hurt you, right?”

“Maybe…” Millie sighs.

“Look, forget Ma and Pa. I'll drive you home tonight.” Sallie says.

“Seriously?”

“Of course, I haven't read the rulebook but, pretty sure that's what sisters are for.”

“Thanks.” Millie says. Maybe Sallie wasn't so bad after all? Maybe she was wrong about her?

“It's just what I do, being the more well adjusted of the sisters.” Sallie says with an annoying smile.

Millie rolls her eyes. So much for sisterhood she guessed.

~~~Moxxie:~~~

Moxxie couldn’t stand the dark, he hated it! He felt like something happened, like someone got into the room in the middle of the night..and then grabbed him!…then suddenly disappeared.

Like the grim reaper or the boogie man!

The boogie man wasn't real, right?

No, that's crazy.

But, what if the mysterious figure came back? What if they grabbed him again and this time took him someplace awful?

What if they took him to the lake…like Crimson had?!

He couldn't sleep…he had to stay up in case they came back…

So…he stayed up…

All night…

He had to-

He drifted to sleep a few times throughout the night, but every time he noticed, he jolted awake and tried to force himself to stay up as much as possible until the sun came up again.

He recalls a story his daddy told him, it was about the krampus who would collect kids like him and punish them for being bad…

But that was only on sinmas, right?

~~~~~~

Hours later, after the sun was up and the boogeyman was nowhere in sight, the door unlocks and a figure steps inside the room.

Moxxie stands up. “Daddy!” Moxxie wiped away some tears from his puffy red eyes. He reaches for his father desperately, he needs some comfort after such a long night.

Crimson walked in with Alessio. The older Imp raises an eyebrow at the younger rather than giving him the affection he was asking for. “Have you learned your lesson, Mox?” Crimson asks.

Moxxie nods shakily and desperately. “m’sorry, daddy.”

“Say your sorry to Alessio, not me. He's the one you bit.” Crimson says.

“M'sowy, Al.” He says.

“It's alright, little one.” Alessio says, hugging Moxxie finally. “Just don't do it again.” He pets his head.

Moxxie nods. “I promise.” He says.

“Alright, we need to talk to big Moxxie now.” Crimson says.

Moxxie wanted more hugs, he wanted to cuddle and be comforted some more…but if that's what Sir wanted, he had to. “Okay, daddy.” Moxxie says.

Crimson kisses Moxxie's cheek. “Good boy.”

“Wake up, Moxxie.” Alessio says.

Moxxie flinches, feeling dizzy and disconnected suddenly, like last night, he wasn't sure which room he was in…it was very dark and not a room Crimson usually locked him in.

“Moxxie, we need to talk.” He says. “I think it's time you know why you're here.”

Crimson unlocks the plastic case around the light switch then turns on the lights.

Moxxie cowers at first, his eyes were far too sensitive from being in the dark for so long, it took a bit for his eyes to adjust.

He blinks rapidly until his vision is clear, and then he sees it…

It was a nursery…?

There was a crib, a changing table, a little kids book shelf…

He can feel the child inside of him flutter somehow.

Why did Crimson do this?

A hand is placed on Moxxie’s shoulder which causes him to jerk away. “We aren’t ashamed of who you are, Moxxie. We care about you, we want you.” Crimson says.

“W-we?” Moxxie asks.

“Alessio and I, we want you, we love you, Moxxie.” Crimson explains. He emphasizes his point by placing both hands on Moxxie’s shoulders. “We can finally have the family we always wanted.”

Moxxie takes a step back. “Sir, I don’t understand.” Moxxie says.

“As you suspected, Alessio and I are together. We were talking about you and how much we missed you. How much time we lost, all the years we wasted.” Crimson continues, holding Moxxie’s chin. “But, we decided it wasn't too late, we could be a family, the three of us, makeup for all those lost years we could have been spending with you.” Crimson then moved his hand and gently stroke Moxxie's hair.

Moxxie backs away as far as he can before hitting the side of the crib. “I have a family, Sir. I have a wife, and friends. I can’t just leave them to-”

“Moxxie, they don't care about you! Don't you think if they did, they would have been here by now?” Crimson asks.

Moxxie had no answer.

“We love you, Moxxie. We want you here.”

Moxxie looked up at Crimson…

He can't remember the last time Crimson had ever said that.

Could his father really love him?

‘Let this be a lesson, Moxxie. This is what happens when you cross me…’

No…

He couldn't.

And even if he did, Moxxie can't just ignore what Crimson was doing…what he always did! Not even to get the one thing he always wanted.

Moxxie pushes Crimson away. “No! You think I don't know what you've been doing? The suspicious trucks, the secrecy, you're trafficking littles, aren't you?” He asks. He can't let them figure out how he knows, but he doesn’t care what they do to him, he's going to help those littles if he can! And he was not going to fall for his father’s tricks anymore!

Crimson glares at Moxxie. “So, you're not stupid…so what?” Crimson asks.

“Why would I ever be part of a family where they'd treat people like that?! You missed your chance to be my father years ago!” He says.

“Sounds to me he needs a little more time to think about it.” Crimson says.

Alessio nods and the two of them begin to leave.

“No!” Moxxie shouts.

Crimson turns back to him. “You will be staying here whether you like it or not, Moxxie! We will do whatever we have to, even if that means keeping you little for the rest of your life.” He slams the door, leaving Moxxie stuck in the nursery for who knows how much longer.

Moxxie's breathing increases, he runs over to the window to try and open it, but to no avail.

He tried opening the door, but it did nothing…

He pushes his back against the door and curls up on the floor…

Was he never going to escape this hell? Will he ever see Millie again?

For a moment Moxxie considered begging, but that's what Crimson would want.

He couldn't play their game anymore…

He had to get home, had to find Millie.

Oh…Millie.

Notes:

"Our idea for a happy home

Is one where we live all alone

Dark

Depressing

Desolate

Now let's all drink to that

Call us wicked call us mean

Cruel and everything in between

You could say it's unjust

Turning their dreams to dust

This is what we call love, tough love." ~~Tough Love, Patti Cake$

Song recommended by: Jocasta_Alowish

Taglist: @todayimfour

Wow I haven't updated this all year!

Glad I finally got this out.

We only have 4 or 5 more chapters.

Probably 5.

#itty bitty imps #father knows best

[mok-a-chino]

Things that made me realize I was autistic:

(You can be autistic and don't feel the same way as me, and u can be not-autistic and have some things in common with this. I do this to feel understood and to make others feel they're understood too)

- I hate receiving gifts. Mainly because people think I'm ungrateful cause I don't show emotion and happiness. I had to learn how to say thank u and smile by practising on the mirror

- Added to that, I've always felt bad about myself cause I hardly ever knew how I felt and I could only show emotions if they were easily identifiable like extreme happiness or anger. It's not that I don't feel anything, but I don't know how I'm feeling and how to show it

- My mother always called me crazy cause I'm obsessed with textures. I hate some food because of how they feel in my mouth. I hate clothes because of how they feel in my skin. I always have to touch everything I see and if something feels pretty I get excited and have to show everyone how that feels

- When I talk about something I'm interested in I move my hands WAY TOO MUCH. People always told me to stop moving them cause it distracts them

- I've always hated crowded places like parties, shopping centres, or even houses with more than three people. Too many noises, too many lights, and people talking at the same time makes me nauseous

- When I was little I collected shiny rocks and those paperboard clothing labels that u have to remove from new clothes, and a lot of random things. Now I collect bookmarks and random strings and threads

- When I like a book, movie or series I become too obsessed, so obsessed I start to think or act like my favourite character until I realize what I'm doing and I get uncomfortable with myself. I get hyperfixated, I have to draw, learn facts about the actors, watch interviews, edits, fanarts, fanfics, etc. It becomes my life and personality until I move to the next hyperfixation

- After I have a social interaction that lasts for more than two hours I have to isolate myself. If it's a party or other social activity that's "too much", I "turn myself off" for like a week

- I'm way too aware of how much eye contact I do and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know if I see too much or I don't see enough. When I feel down I can't look at others eyes. My mother always got mad about that

- I only understand jokes if they are too obvious and the "Joke voice" (if that makes sense) is too exagerated. Once my dad saw a leaf and yelled it was a cockroach and all my family laughed and I didn't understood why, so I said "... That's a leaf", and all of them were like "Of course it's a leaf, he's joking, learn to have fun"

- I didn't have any friends in primary school and in highschool I only had one friend who lasted with me for more than two years. People couldn't understand why I didn't like to hang out a lot, they thought I didn't like them so they got mad at me. When I tried to explain that I have to have like a week before the plan to prepare myself, so I don't go to plans made in the instant, they told me I'm boring and began to exclude me from groups and activities

There are more things but these are the "huge" ones. If u want more just tell me and u shall receive.

Please don't use this as a self-diagnose tool, neither as the only tool if u do so. I've looked for information for years to get to where I am today.

(PS: sorry if something is wrong written, english is not my first language)

#autism #autistic girl #autistic adult #autistic pride #autistic spectrum #autistic #autistic experiences #girl with autism #autism in women #autism in girls #autism go brrrr #autism experiences #actually autistic

[voidfkedup]

tw: domestic abuse, narcissist parents, atheism

.

Sometimes I feel like I might be a bad daughter. Sometimes I wish to be born on a different family, or not even been born at all. 

But I wouldn't have the people that I care about. Maybe I would have better friends if so, who knows. 

I don't know why she's so angry at me. Of course, we all have bad days and the last thing that we need is someone to say the wrong thing before you snap. 

But it doesn't excuse to grab my hair and press my head against the kitchen counter, or the wall of my bedroom. 

While I do understand and appreciate the things she did for me, the things she had to go through during her life to raise me. Obviously I do, but it doesn't excuse when she raises her hand at me when I have a different opinion from her. 

I'm not gay, even as hard as it is to like man when all they ever do is flaunt to each others and cheat. I'm not trans, and I actually do feel very comfortable in being a woman, aside from the annoying periods. But it doesn't give me any peace of mind when she tell me that I dress or act too mainly, demanding an answer she already know out of me, saying that she can fix it with a good beat up. 

I cried and was hurt because of that. Not because I am, but for the fact that even if I was, she wouldn't accept me. That it was only another thing for her to become violent about. 

I'm sorry that she's on a rough path of her marriage with the step-douche, but yet again, it's too hard to live under the same roof as her, where you don't have the permission to do your own thing without her criticizing. 

Pushing me to tell him that I miss him, I hope he comes back soon. Tell him that she is a strong and a good woman, that she had battled for everything and she's my role model. That I want to be just like her when I grow up. 

I don't. I don't miss him, he's an asshole most times than don't, but he never let her raise her hand at me — at least when he was around. She can be a good person, to others. And she can be a good mother when she wants, but like we always say, the bad things overshine the good ones. 

Because nothing can erase when you threw me out of the house with nothing but a bra and shorts. Nothing can erase the headlock she put me on and the despair I felt when you left me like that almost passing out without air entering my body. And right after that demanding me to clean the scratches that drew blood I made on your arm while I was fighting to breathe. That I am the guilty one because I didn't tell him the things you wanted me to. 

He knows it would've been fake. But it wouldn't matter any way, because the moment he opened his mouth to tell her to stop asking me to say things, she would also get mad at me for not being convincing enough. 

This marriage is in ruins not because of me. It's because she can't control herself. 

Guiltripping me, saying that I'm a bad daughter, that I don't have enough empathy for you. That I rather focus on my studies to pass my last year of university, and stating she wouldn't let me do my test, and she would break my wrist as a way to prove herself. 

Telling me I'm ungrateful, she gives me everything and I give her nothing in return. That I'm always cold, never asks how she's doing, how she feels. Never tells her anything. That I lack God in my heart.

I wonder why…

Telling me that my father left us to starve, when I had talked personally to his lawyer and she has proof that my mother is lying, and my dad never left us in any state of need. 

But the way she tells me, it's like it's true. And yet again, I don't remember anything from my childhood. All the memories when I was in between 4 to 11 are more than gone. 

And my father knows all about it. He's always the one in shit talking her every chance he gets. He's always telling me to tell him when she does it, that he will do something about it. 

It's all bark and no bite. 

Because if so, he wouldn't let the step-bitch walk over me. And even if he did get me out of here, he doesn't have anywhere for me to be. His other kids took over my old room, I had no space there. 

Too much for being “the one he loves the most”, huh?

My grandparents do nothing but defend my mother's actions when she does that. And the paternal ones are dead. I don't have a space there, either.

I don't have money, I can't find a job, I can't pass an internship. My friends, even of how much they may love and care about, wouldn't be able to help me either way. The last time, it got so much worse.

I have nowhere to be. 

I can only stay in this god forsaken house, hoping that tomorrow will be better than today. 

But even with all of this, I can't help but feel like I'm a bad daughter. That I could've done something better. Even if I know that nothing would be good enough. 

I'm just very tiring.

I do have trouble believing in a God, when my entire life I had to go through this. Brcause how good a God can be when he let this happen to me, and let bad and worse things happen to many others. What a shit God there is, then…

Because why she keeps winning, getting everything she wants when I have to live this misery bullshit. 

That's just not fair. But then again, that's how the world is, right? The bad always get what they want. 

#mommy issues #rant post #personal rant #spilled thoughts #daddy issues

[persephone-is-here-omg]

Went no contact with my aunt E, and her daughters N and C. My only regret is that I didn't get to beat their asses before I did.

Let me preface this by saying that I am not a person given to physical violence, hell in a lot of cases I'll bite my tongue to avoid a fight. But I have my fucking limits, and that day I reached mine.

So, yes. I did come close to kicking their teeth off because if there's one thing I don't tolerate is people talking shit about my mom when I know she's right. If the criticism is valid? Go ahead. Thing is, I know for a fact my aunt and her daughters are wrong.

This is a situation that has its roots in decades of unresolved issues. But it all came to a head when my cousin N decided she was going to introduce her boyfriend to the extended family. This, after she told multiple people that she didn't really have anything to share with us and that she didn't even want to wish our grandma a Happy New Year. Which is fine, there's been a lot less conflict since her, her mother and sister decided they were everyone's victims and the family wasn't catering to them as they felt entitle to. That's cool, but why the hypocrisy.

So, in the latest family function that took place my mom called my cousin to the side and called her out on her hypocritical behavior. My mother did not scream to her, and didn't start a scene. My cousin N, however, has always had a flair for the theatrics and immediately started screaming and shouting like a banshee. Came storming in saying she was leaving, that my mom had "disrespected" her, that she "knows herself, and she is leaving". She called my mother a flurry of colorful names, including "ungrateful". My sister and I heard, and we had enough. Let me just say they both were LUCKY my dad was there and bear hugged me, because her boyfriend would not only have had to pay for her plane ticket to Spain, he would have had to pay for a whole new set of teeth (or two).

Since that moment, I've gone no contact with them. Now, I am aware that none of that makes me look good. I am not interested in looking good, either. But if we're going to talk about ungrateful or bullying, I have so many instances where they're the ungrateful bullies.

For example, N had Hepatitis B. At the time, she was living rent free at our grandmother's house. If you hear her and her mother tell the story, everyone at my grandma's was going to let her die and no one gave a fuck. In their version, my grandma even said that she was most likely pregnant. However, the reality is that she wouldn't have even been tested for Hep B if one of my aunt's (who's a nurse) had not insisted and taken her to the hospital, she wouldn't have been admitted without that aunt, either. However, that aunt has a job that she couldn't miss and responsibilities. N's father has lived in that same town for years, he didn't go to see her even once during the whole ordeal. However, the bad ones are the ones that took her to hospital and did what they could.

Another example, E moved to that same town and stayed there for about 4 years after her daughter C had an "accident" that left her with a permanent leg injury. E did this to be able to take care of her daughter. Once C was recovered enough she moved into a smaller house where neither her mother nor sister fit in. So E and N had to rent an apartment. When 2020 rolled around, another one of my aunts went like "hey, we're in the middle of this pandemic thing. you guys should move in with me because you have no income" So they moved into this other aunt's house, lived there for almost 3 years rent free, not even had to buy their own food, no utilities. E, N and C however, claim no one ever helped them and E and N were basically homeless. Mind you this aunt that took them in even took over several major medical expenses from E.

One more example. E is a teen mom, had her oldest C, around the time she was 17/18yo. The only reason she was able to graduate high school was my mom. My mom at 14yo put up with abuse from her baby daddy's family to care of her fucking child. But this is, also, something that in their heads never happened. E, in fact, has spent almost 50 years trying to ingratiate herself with her baby daddy's family even though they mistreated her and her family. When she moved from the town, following them, they said "she doesn't need to learn anything. just send her to clean houses" Because they see cleaning houses as a lowly job, and they always have seen her as lowly and undeserving of respect.

This is just examples of their ungratefulness, this isn't even diving in their abuse and disrespect of multiple family members. Like, I have so many fucking more stories that don't even involve me or anything they've done to me especifically.

#family #no contact #toxic relationship #toxic people #fuck them

[vee-is-a-clown]

Log Entry #4

Red,

You would not believe the day that I've had. I am mentally exhausted. I need to write all this down. Where do I start?

First thing I did today was go into town with Kosmo to buy food. I wore my fancy coat and put my hair in a ponytail. It makes me look like I have something important to do and people don't bother me. I got bread, potatoes, carrots, honey, and tea. I could get more but I don't have the time to cook nor the patience to learn how.

I got home and put everything away. I then set off with Kosmo to go to the McClain's house. I was not excited. I didn't want to be weird about it. I absolutely was though. I was absolutely freaking out.

I got there and Mrs. McClain was worried because I never go to their house. I told her that everything was fine and that I wanted to talk to someone. I don't think she believed me. She invited me in anyway. I honestly don't know what I expected. Would she not invite me in? Probably not.

She sat me down in the dining room and left to make some tea. In that short time, Veronica came in and asked me how I was doing, Rachel passed through and waved at me, and Nadia skipped in and asked where Kosmo was. She then left to go pet him. She's such an energetic little girl, I wonder how they get her to sit still.

The McClain family truly amazes me sometimes. Anyway, Mrs. McClain came back with a pot of tea, apple slices, and honey. I keep telling her that I don't need her to put effort into our interactions but she won't listen. I don't see why she does things like cutting apples or even making tea. It really doesn't matter. Infact, it makes it worse because I don't want to be ungrateful and not eat the food but if I eat to much, then I'm taking advantage of her hospitality.

We talk for a bit. I think it was around noon at this point. Lance stumbled in, looking dazed. It was as if he just woke up. I didn't exactly recognize him but he's the only McClain that I haven't seen and he perfectly matches his mother's description. He yawned and looked around until he saw me and I thought I was going to die. Nothing happened but he looked at me for longer than someone normally would as if trying to recognize why a stranger was having tea with his mom. Completely reasonable, honestly. It still freaked me out though.

What happened next was so confusing. He called me "That boy from the hospital" and asked me how I was doing since I left the hospital. How the hell does he know me from the hospital? I didn't say anything so he kept talking and asked me where I'd been. He said that he hadn't seen me in ages. Again, what the hell? I have no memory of even seeing him. How does he remember me? It's been about 5 years since I've worked with Shiro, in the hospital. He seemed a little offended that I didn't remember our interactions.

Also, apparently his family has been refusing to tell him my name or current occupation which is funny. I would do that to Shiro if he didn't already know everybody.

Anyway, Lance sat down next to me and had an apple which I didn't mind and Mrs. McClain luckily didn't scold him for. I hate when people get in trouble when I'm around. It makes everything awkward. But Lance just sat there and Mrs. McClain told him that I was here as a guest so he should be mindful. She then continued our conversation.

It was hard but I managed to bring up my possible need for an assistant which confused Lance a lot. He still somehow didn't piece together that I'm a witch. Mrs. McClain laughed which scared me because I don't know if she's laughing at how stupid the situation is, how stupid I am, or some silly little thing in her head.

Anyway, Lance finally learned that I'm a witch and volunteered. Yeah, I'm screwed. It was at that point that I realized that I hadn't thought this through. I was committed now. I'm going to have to work with this boy who apparently knows me.

Also, he definitely doesn't live close enough to me to do the job. It's an hour's walk and judging based off today, he wouldn't get here until after I would actually need him. I'll have to make a deal with Allura for him to stay at her inn.

I stayed at the McClain's a little bit longer but I left pretty quickly. As in, I stayed for 15 minutes then left before my ability to be social left without me.

That interaction was so stressful. Sadly, I'm going to have to do that more because I just decided that I needed somebody to help me. I really am an idiot sometimes.

After I went home, I was productive and made some potions (finally). It was a nice destresser. When I make potions, it feels natural. If only talking to people felt like that.

Here are the potions I made today:

Hunk's 5 fire potions

Farmer's 5 plant growth potions

#omg this was so hard to write #sorry if it gets a little hazy at the end #I like to pretend that that's Keith's anxiety kicking in and screwing with how detailed his memory is #oh well #voltron #keith voltron #keith kogane #vld keith #klance #vld lance #lance voltron #lance mcclain #witch's herbal tea #Witch's Herbal Tea log

[sp00kygr33n]

I am drunk and sad so I'm gonna vent cause this is my blog and I can do whatever the fuck I want to

(Sorry to interrupt your scrolling)

So like it's christmas fucking eve and like some of my friends went home and they are sending photos of their nice dinners and gifts under the trees and shit and like. I gkt explicitly told to not come to my family's christmas

Not like I wanted to but you know. Rejection hurts even when you try to do rejection first

And like one of my online friends was very sad abot me not getting any gifts really (me and my friends had secret santa at the beggining of the month and I don't want to sound ungrateful but it did feel underwhelming cause my gift didn't even get wrapped it was just in a messed up cardboard box and I did feel a bit hurt but this is so evil of me to think because someone spent their time and money on me I just....)

So like. Gift giving is my primarly love language. When I was a kid, people throwing gifts at me was the only indication they cared about me (even if it was to win a divorce). So I learned early on that if I give someone something, they will know I care about them. I'm bad at showing it otherwise. I keep wishlists for everyone and every time they are like "oh i want xyz!" I will make a note and then I slowly get them things for like birthday or when they're down or when I just have some extra money. I think I perfected gift giving. I will color cooridinate the item and some additional things like candy or face masks or nice candles. I will pick up the expensive shiny wrapping paper. I care so much about giving people gifts. And I think that becuase I couldn't even afford proper food in december, surviving or one serving of plain rice or pasta a day while working 12 hour shifts, I didn't feel the holiday spirit at all cause I failed everyone and couldn't give them gifts. We're all poor, we get it, it just made me devastated cause if I can give people things, how do I stop them from hating me? How do they know I have infinite love and care for them? How do I make them happy??

Idk. I'm just sad.

But I was actually making a point. My friend asked me "if you could have anything today, what would you want?"

My response was a seven minute cuddle session. I don't want to inconvinince people any longer, but I think seven minutes is in the realm of reason when asking, you know? It feels like I could be allowed that much.

And idk I'm just really touch starved. And I want a cuddle. But like the one when I'm being held and shit? Possibly maybe not ignored and maybe if we're getting into the wildest dreams maybe I would want my back to be rubbed for like 34 seconds and I know it is a bit long but yk

Anyway this is probably so stupid and I would probably cry which would make it weird but I was asked if I could had anything, so I responded truthfully

But it feels like such a stupid want. I feel like I should be above that. Am I a child who needs to get a hug? Gods I feel so stupid about it

And I had way too much beer today so I went to talk to my roommates and I just rambled about shit for like two hours and I feel so guilty and stupid cause it was just. So unnecessary and absurd they didn't need to hear me talk. And probably didn't want to, in my mind I just annoyed them so then I proceeded to leave the room and put on my headphones and I had a breakdown and it feels stupid too and i just

Idk

I'm sad and drunk and merry christmas

Sorry for oversharing

I mean it's not like people are going to read this and I kinda feel more stupid now but I guess sending this into the ether gives me some relief yk

Sorry

#spooky speaks #vent post

[pixuou]

Juliette's graduation banquet – A Capp family gathering

A 30 pic story (lol)

The Capp family gathered round to celebrate Juliette's graduation with a dinner at Regan and Cornwall's new residence (that they bought from company income of questionable source). Some family members were expecting this to be the occasion where Consort announces who he's chosen to inherit Capp & Daughters Inc. and become the new CEO (as it was known he had been having issues with his health and wanted to sort out his will finally).

The two Sims who actually wanted the position were Regan and Elena (Tybalt's wife, née Frost). They'd been giving each other hostile looks about it all evening. Regan was only the second daughter of the late Contessa, and Elena wasn't even in the line of succession by blood, but they kept hoping anyway.

Hermia: Are you ready for this?

Juliette: Not in the slightest, but let's get it over with.

Consort: My beloved family and guests, we gathered here tonight to congratulate my wonderful, promising granddaughter Juliette Calpurnia's successful absolution of her higher education studies. I'm elated to have the family's legacy rest in such good hands, as would my late wife, the family's last matriarch be.

Juliette: Thank you, Grandfather. Making my elders proud is as much an honour as it is tremendous pressure. Today is an important day for me... Not only have I received my diploma today, but I also have an announcement to make to the family. My beloved Granddad, Aunties, Cousins... I hope you can turn to me with understanding and share my delight and happiness when I tell you: I am engaged.

Everybody gasped in unison.

Juliette: I want to introduce you all to my fiancé, my groom and husband-to-be. ... Come in here, darling!

Romeo: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It is my pleasure to be here among you tonight.

Goneril: Are you serious, Juliette?!

Regan: What in the—

Consort: Juliette Calpurnia Capp! You must stop this foolish joke immediately.

Juliette: It is not a joke, Granddad. Romeo and I have decided to officiate our relationship.

Consort: Have you permanently lost your mind?!

Miranda: There is no better man out there for our Julie, Granddad! Romeo is worthy of our family.

Consort: You knew about this, Miranda?! How many of you did?

Romeo: Stop attacking your grandchildren, Mr. Capp. Miranda, Hermia and the others have been supportive of us because they care about Juliette truly, like none of you ever have.

Consort took a few steps away from the dinner table.

Consort: Ungrateful children! All of you! How can this legacy continue if you all keep acting so shameful? Who am I supposed to leave this fortune to?

Goneril: Father, you're talking as if one person's mistakes would make us all undeserving. I know you don't like the idea of not getting your way, but Juliette's not the only one fit to be heir.

Consort: And who is, Goneril? You?! Don't make me laugh. You're not cut out for business. You may be my eldest daughter, but it's like you're not even my blood...

Consort: ...and you, Regan, you don't have the gratitude. The empire your mother built up would fall under your hands.

Goneril: Is that why you brought us up trying to pin us against each other? So that you could bring down both of us just the same in the end? How can you be so cruel to our family, Father? Wasn't disowning your only son enough for you?

Consort: Be quiet and don't bring up your traitor brother! None of you seem to understand anything! ... Miranda!

Miranda: ...yes?

Consort: You're next in line after your mother, but you could never be trusted with the weight of the role. Look at you, you can't even dress up properly for a formal event.

Miranda: Maybe you shouldn't make a formal event out of a family dinner like we're still in the middle ages, but whatever you say I guess.

Hermia: G— Granddad, I'm sorry, but is this really necessary?

Consort: We're not talking about you yet, Hermia, stay out of it.

Consort: Tybalt... My only grandchild with their heart in the right place. If only I could overwrite your grandmother's will and give the company to a man...

Elena: Lord Capp, maybe the rules forbid a male relative to be in full charge of the corporation, but what about the union of a male relative in good favour and a highly regarded female family member by marriage?

Regan: Ellen, this is not the time for you to meddle in our family affairs.

Tybalt: But my wife is right, Auntie. The two of us could make this legacy prosper again.

Goneril: Enough of this! Father, why are you so spiteful towards us? You say you worked so hard for our family, but all you ever cared about was the status and the money. You raised me and my siblings to think we have to fight for your validation, and that we're nothing without your approval. And now you're willing to destroy our legacy because of your pride. Why are none of us good enough for you?

Consort: You could never understand, Goneril, the lengths I've gone to give this family everything, and now I'm surrounded by traitors, deviants, ill-meaning and indecent turncloaks who want to tear down what so many previous generations dedicated their lives to buildi— Oh.... To building u— Sorry, I just need a breath...

Desdemona: Granddad, is everything alright? Maybe you should rest a li—

Desdemona: Granddad!

The whole family stood up from their chair and ran to Consort who was lying on the floor, breathless and unable to get up. He had worked himself up too hard and his old body couldn't take it – he had suffered a heart attack, and unfortunately it was too late to save him. The dinner came to a tragic end.

════════════════════════════════════════════

As it later turned out, Consort had not prepared a will before his death. He was still debating what should happen to his property at that fateful dinner gathering. The family dug up the late Contessa's will to come to a compromise regarding the fortune and the family business. According to Contessa's will, Capp & Daughters Inc. would have gone into the hands of her eldest daughter, Goneril, but since Goneril had long given up any business ambitions and was interested in other ventures, she passed down the position of CEO to her sister Regan (in turn for a small share of the profit). Regan's husband Cornwall became President of the company, while her enthusiastic and greedy niece-in-law Elena was promoted to Vice President (which she was a little bitter about).

════════════════════════════════════════════

What happens to the rest of the family? What other challenges await the Capps in the coming years? We'll find out as we officially begin Round 3!

#ultimatehood #round 3 #capp heiress arc #veronaville #capp #consort #goneril #regan #cornwall #desdemona #juliette #romeo #hermia #miranda #tybalt #ellen

[comfortunit]

literally just found you today thru those rants and 100%. ive talked about it with friends but we keep it to ourselves bc fandombrained people are so vitriolic & reactionary but you get it. fandoms as they are now are simply a function of capitalism and i wouldnt even say most are fans of the media they say they are but of the roving dudeslash fandom who NEED to see characters forced into their static cookiecutter trope pairing/mirroring themselves and fuckin or theyll die. fandoms in general also tend to be a cesspit of racism & terrible attitudes towards sex work despite their fascination with/fetishization of both race and sex work in general and its like the smaller the fandom is the more of a toxic microcosm of let people haaaaave funnnnn it becomes (idk why i wrote this i was just super surprised to see another mbd fan who was also a sex worker, hiii same hat i am waving to you from across the street)

i went off about this in a mutual's personal server even more than i posted/ranted about here on tumblr because it really pisses me off, especially when you visit low-rating reviews of any mbd book, extra especially fugitive telemetry (like "how Dare this author whose work i love give me a novella after a full-length novel release?!" it's so fucking ungrateful! and it demonstrates such a disgusting lack of basic reading comprehension).

here's one review i saw posted the month i picked up the book and happened to be using goodreads to track my progress at the time, for example:

out of ideas?! it's one of the more tonally different stories in the series. when i finished the book for myself, i came back to this review and i just did not know how someone could ever say something like this. did we even read the same book?! is she "out of ideas" or did she give people another short-form story that was packed with concise and exacting language, tackling a multifaceted web of brand new interactions that make murderbot's personhood that much more dimensional, and they turned their nose up at it because "ugh 🙄 why can't we just have more full-length novels full of stuff that i can pretend is evidence of my fantasy OTP ship being canon"? the idea that a story is "low-effort" to "produce" simply because it's short is such a fucking insult to writers who know anything about writing, especially short-form masters like martha wells. these books are raw concentrated emotion.

to use a food comparison, because i've been getting emotional about the bear recently, it's like comparing a family/holiday feast to an 8-course meal from a star-ranked restaurant. they are both incredibly valuable, in different ways. the novellas are basically 'the perfect bite', they are incredibly well-written, they're rounded stories about rounded characters. intricate, delicate, plated to perfection, and at the end you realize that you've had enough of these small courses (chapters) that it's like. wow, you realize how fulfilled you are; every 'level' engaged is maxed out... and a feast made to feed an entire family like the full-length novel(s) (since the next book is a full-length novel, too) is hearty, it's quantity from a quality-minded author, it's nourishing, it's fulfilling, it's going to get a lot of mileage from every character included. these are different experiences prepared by the same chef. trust that she's going to treat you well. you know?

but you don't let diners into the kitchen to make changes to the food everyone else is going to eat. i might be going a little far with the metaphor but i swear to fucking god if tor.com does the fanservice shit to mbd i'm going to lose my fucking mind.

but again. i have faith in martha wells, i have hope and i know she would never do that to us.

edit: oh my god where are my manners HI FELLOW SEX WORKER WHO LOVES THE MUDERBOT DIARIES! THANK YOU! HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A WONDERFUL DAY!

#writing long responses to long asks is how i process things shut up /lh /j

[jehovahhthickness]

Thoughts on people with kids who try to shame those who don't? Especially the ones who tell you how you should start a business just because you're child free and don't have anything important to actually spend money on? 🙄 I got into with a friend of mines today (she has children,I don't).

I never shamed her for having them or ever tried to downplay anything she's done or does.All of a sudden out of no where,she's been all online watching millionaires on IG and Facebook talk their talk about how to get rich quick by starting a business and how it's so easy lately... "You can become a millionaire within 2,3 years. You're single with no kids and work two jobs,you should start something cause you don't have nothing important to do with your money.You don't get tired of being in the rat race?You start a business now you can be on the road to financial freedom.You gotta stop letting these white people use you and think like them so you can have generational wealth.I thought you were smarter".... I'm like wtf did that even come from? Could've at least said it better or something.

So I guess me taking care of mother who has cancer,other sick family and paying off my student loans and medical bills for this year ain't shit? Smh.

I'm barely keeping my sanity as is.I almost snapped on her since she don't even have bills to pay except her phone bill and credit card bill.Living off of taxes that I pay but I decided to be quiet.She was doing too much for me and I prefer to keep the peace but yeah,that was definitely our last conversation.Why try to make my life hard when I always make yours easy? And she focusing on my money when I've helped her numerous times. Like yeah okay.Should have taken the money I gave her ass and invested instead but now she doing better financially since Biden given out money to parents she wanna come at me crazy. That's wild. I see why I hate dealing with people. Ungrateful and funny acting.

Tell your “friend” that she can go to hell and to leave you alone.

Baby doll, if you’re content with your life and current situation. That’s okay.

Don’t let nobody try to convince you to start a business or become the next millionaire if you don’t fucking feel like it.

I’m telling you right now, becoming a business owner made me suicidal. I am not fucking okay. I hate it here.

I wish I was a nepo baby because I hate how I have to grow everything from the ground up by myself.

It’s one thing to encourage you to do better if you’re in a struggling situation. But if you’re currently happy with your life, your bills are paid, you can afford to live your life. You don’t have to change that.

[nottapossum]

Father knows best chapter 7: The Family Jewels

Summary:

Millie is trying to find Moxxie, Cash and Blitzø talk, Crimson’s the worst, Alessio is sus.

Notes:

TW: language, creepy people, blackmail, calling a trans woman he/him in past because it was before they knew, will not be using any variation of a deadname or anything like that. And feelings. Lmk if I should add.   ‘I can't break the cycle, am I just a fool? Falling down like dominoes, hit by family jewels Pass it down from kid to kid, the chain will never end 'Less I decide to go to it, will I see the end? Ooh, don't you find it strange? Only thing we share is one last name Did I beat you at your own game? Typical of me to put us all to shame.’ ~The family jewels by Marina and the diamonds.

~~~Moxxie~~~

Alessio sent Moxxie to Crimson’s office the next morning.

It was taking Millie and Blitzø forever to find him, but he had to stay strong for them.

The walk to his father’s office gave Moxxie a creepy deja vu feeling, remembering when Alessio would often send him there when Crimson wanted to talk to him. Usually it was about work, sometimes it had to do with Moxxie doing something wrong.

“You wanted to talk to me….sir?” Moxxie asks.

“Come in.” Crimson says to him, setting his pen down and giving Moxxie his full attention.

Moxxie does as he’s told and walks into the room.

But, Moxxie’s hand clenched the door handle tightly as if closing the door behind him would result in repeating the actions of yesterday…

“Moxxie…” Crimson warns.

Moxxie takes a deep breath in attempt to slow down his fast beating heart. He closes his eyes, then closes the door slowly.

“Good boy.” Crimson says. “Now, take a seat. I’d like to talk about how things are gonna work around here now that you’re home.”

Moxxie turns to Crimson, but he doesn’t sit. “Sir. Why are yo-“

“Don’t interrupt me.” Crimson snaps at him. “You’re lucky you’re not dead after the stunt you pulled, do you have any idea what you di-“

“I don’t want to stay here! I dont- I can’t-“ Moxxie shouts, slamming his hands on the desk. “I won’t! Why don’t you understand that?”

Crimson stands and interrupts. “I couldn’t care less what you want, you ungrateful bitch! You’re staying here with me and that’s final!” Crimson says.

“No, I’m not! Why the fuck would I ever stay here? Why do you even want me here? You don’t care about me!” “Is that really what you think?” Crimson asks. “Yes! And you can’t change that! You can force me to regress all you want, but that won’t change anything, my REAL family will find m-“

“You really think those clowns are your family? Don’t be stupid.” Crimson says. “I suggest you learn who your real family is fast before somebody gets hurt.” Crimson pulled out a cigar and lighter. “W-what do you mean?” Moxxie asks. Crimson lights his cigar, then puts the lighter back in his pocket. “Your boss, Blitzø adopted a hell hound a few years ago, goes by the name of Loona; funny, he’s even stupid enough to call the thing his daughter.” Crimson explains.

Moxxie’s heart increased volume as the rest of the room remained silent for a moment. “What?”

“He also has a twin sister, goes by the name Barbie Wire. She’s currently dwelling in Sloth. St. Alan hospital’s rehab center to be exact. She was omitted by Blitzø after overdosing on Hydromorphone. She’s making some great progress I hear. Expected to get out of there any time now.” Crimson grins. “His father is also still around, I had a lovely conversation with him.”

Moxxie looks away for a moment, biting down a comment about how glad he was that Crimson got to meet another shitty father to bond with.

“And you’re lovely Mildred.” Crimson starts again, chuckling, causing Moxxie to snap his eyes back at him again. “Her parents Lynn and Jo, live on a humble little farm in wrath with their four sons-“

“Three sons.” Moxxie corrects.

“What?” Crimson asks.

“Sally Mae is trans.” Moxxie says.

Crimson raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

Moxxie sighs. “She’s a girl.”

Crimson rolls his eyes. “Fine. Whatever.”

“I don’t understand, dad. Why are you doing this? I’m not even-“

Crimson harshly grabs Moxxie’s face with his claws, digging deep into Moxxie’s skin as his father pulls him closer. “I know it’s very hard for your dumb little boy brain to understand, so I’ll make it simple for ya. You work at I.M.P no longer, you will take your rightful place in the organization, and you WILL start fucking listening to me!” Crimson’s voice suddenly becomes softer: “In return, you’ll be protected and properly taken care of.”

Moxxie gulps.

“It’s better this way.” Crimson says, letting his chin go in favor of patting his head. “I mean, did you honestly believe they’re better with you there holding them back all the time?” He asks.

A sharp pain of guilt struck Moxxie’s chest, he felt like death.

Would Millie really be better off without him?

No, of course not, Millie loved him!

Crimson was trying to manipulate him.

But, if he doesn’t agree, he’ll just go after Millie and Blitzø’s family.

He’ll be hurting Millie and Blitzø in a way they could never recover from…

It’ll be all his fault!

Moxxie rubs his arm anxiously. “But, what about…”

“If you’re worried about the rest of I.M.P, don’t be. So long as you’re obedient, they won’t be hurt.” Crimson says.

Moxxie sighs. “Promise?”

Crimson looks into Moxxie’s eyes, his gaze cold and deadly. “You have my word.”

Moxxie sighs. “Okay…”

“Good boy.” Crimson smiles.

“But-“

Crimson raises both eyebrows at him.

“D-Do I really have to regress?” Moxxie asks. “I’ll do whatever you say, I just- I don’t want to-“

“Moxxie…” Crimson grabs his face again, but gentler this time. “Someone needs to look after you.” He says, caressing the young imp’s cheek with his thumb. “It’s not like you’re capable of doing it yourself.” He scolds.

“Sir-“

“Don’t fucking question me again, Moxxie. Do you understand?”

Moxxie deflates. “Yes, sir.”

“Good boy.” Crimson praised. “You know as well as I do that you have commitments here, responsibilities. You really thought I was gonna let you try and run off like your mother did? I don’t think so.”

His mother died! She didn’t abandon him!

She never would…

She never left him!

~~~Past~~~

His parents were screaming at each other, it wasn’t even lunch time yet, and they were screaming like there was a fire.

Moxxie was trying to read in his room when he hears his mother shout: “That’s it! I’m going to my sisters!”

“Great! Knock yourself out! Have a fucking good time getting drunk with your slutty sister!” Crimson shouts. “See if I care!”

Moxxie’s mother sighs. “Moxxie!” She called.

Moxxie closes the book and sets it aside.

Book abandoned, he starts to walk down the stairs. “Yes, Mama?”

“What are you doing? You are not taking him!” Crimson says.

Moxxie stops moving at his father’s tone, he hoped they wouldn’t go at it again.

“Pack a suitcase, Chip. We’re visiting your cousins for a few days.” His mother tells him.

“The hell you are!” Crimson says. “Moxxie, get down here. You’re staying with me!”

Moxxie stays where he is, he wants to listen to his parents, but his father wants him downstairs and his mother wants him upstairs, so mid-stairs seems like a good middle ground to satisfy both parents.

“I want him to be a regular kid for once! Going to wrath will allow him to play outside, get some sunshine, some fresh air!” She says.

“Overrated bullshit!” His father says. “He doesn’t need any of that!”

“He never gets to see his cousins.” She says. “He’s just a kid, he should be allowed to have some fun every now and then.” She says.

Moxxie knew the truth though, it had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with his father; Mama never let him alone with daddy for long.

“Fine, if it gets rid of you for a few days, it’ll be fucking worth it.” Crimson says, leaving the room and slamming the door.

Moxxie didn’t like when they fought, why can’t they just get along for once?

His mother smiles at him. “Pack a bag, chip.” She instructed.

Moxxie forced a smiled back at her, then did as he was told.

But He hates his cousins, and he hates when his parents fight…

Why can’t they just love each other?

Was it really that hard?

~~~Blitzø~~~

Blitzø returned to greed to meet with his father as requested.

He knew whatever it was he was up to, wasn’t going to be good. He hasn’t even spoken with Cash since the incident. What could he possibly want to about now?

‘You did this, she’d still be alive if it wasn’t for you.’

No, it’s okay. It’s over….

Blitzø’s okay.

Blitzø walks into the tent without warning as Cash sat at a desk to collect his little profit.

“Blitzo.” Cash greeted with a sadistic smile. “You actually showed up, what a surprise.”

Blitzø crossed his arms. “Let’s get this over with quickly, alright? I have places to be.”

“Can’t even make time to talk with your own father?” Cash asks. “You alway we’re a disrespectful little shit.” He scolded.

Blitzø rolls his eyes. “Oh please, the best parenting you’ve done was on the stage, and even then it wasn’t very convincing.”

“You haven’t changed a bit, have you?” Cash asks, rolling his eyes aswell.

“I’ve changed plenty actually.” Blitzø explains, eyes going dark. “These days, when I shoot someone, I don’t fucking miss.”

Cash glares daggers at Blitzø. “I suggest you talk to me more respectfully, boy. I do have something you want after all.”

“Yeah? What might that be?” Blitzø asks.

“Information.” Cash smiles. “You want your employee back, well I know who took him.”

“I’m not sure if I believe you.” Blitzø says.

“His name is Moxxie knolasname, he has white hair, he’s short, loves night at the opera-“

“Doesn’t prove anything.” Blitzø says. “Also, it’s phantom of the…”

“Does this prove anything?” Cash asks. The older Imp grabs something from the dresser behind him and shows it to Blitzø.

Moxxie’s bow tie…? At least one of them. How did he-

Blitzø takes out his revolver. “I swear to fuck, if you hurt him…”

“Looks like you finally believe me, eh?” Cash laughs. “I really should just let this be, let you suffer and not tell you a thing about your stupid employee, especially after what you did to my Tilla and my beautiful circus all those years ago.”

Blitzø feels a pain in his gut, and his legs feel faint. “I didn’t-“

“Yes, the fuck you did, you little prick!” Cash yelled at him.

Blitzø’s heart pounded inside him, he’s resisted the urge to run, or rip this man’s head off. “It was an accident and you know that! An accident you caused in case you forgot! Which by the way, if you didn’t sell me to stupid birds, you wouldn’t have had a circus to burn down anyway!”

“You could never let that go, could ya? You know you loved it, you manipulative whore!” Cash scolded. “You always had to use other people to get what you wanted, I just capitalized on it.”

“That’s not true…” Blitzø says.

He hoped it wasn’t…

“That’s why you were with Fizzarolli, wasn’t it?” Cash asks. “So he’d make you look good, he’d benefited you.”

“No!” Blitzø says. “I was with him because I love him-“ Blitzø hears himself and lowers his voice, “loved. I mean loved him.” He corrects softly.

Fuck.

Of course he can finally admit it, now that they’re not together. Why couldn’t he just tell Fizz how he felt before?

“And what about that demon prince? Stolas right? The one you constantly complained about, the one I sold you too?” Cash asks.

“It’s a mutual agreement.” Blitzø says, arms crossed.

“Of course it is.” Cash scoffs.

“We’re not dating, it’s nothing serious.” Blitzø says. “But we both know that. I’m not manipulating him and he’s not manipulating me. I’m not you!”

Cash laughs. “Sure you’re not. I’m sure you both have good intentions.

“We do, not that it’s any of your fucking business!” Blitzø says.

Cash chuckles. “Maybe it’s not, but it will be.”

Blitzø growls. “The fuck is that supposed to mean? If you think you can just-“

“Ah-ah.” Cash interrupted. “Daddy’s speaking now, little one. Unless you’d rather not know where he is.” Cash condescendingly remarks.

Blitzø sits down and crosses his arms again.

Unfortunately, cash is right. Blitzø needs answers.

He can’t just leave Moxxie to deal with this alone.

“That’s a good boy. I thought maybe to let you watch as they killed the little bitch boy, but then I realized I could benefit from this. You have something I want, I have something you want.”

Blitzø didn’t like where this is going…

Cash then grabs a pile of papers and hands it to Blitzø.

Blitzø’s eyes widen as he looks the papers over. “You want I.M.P?”

“No, what I want is money, but I don’t suppose you have that, do you?” Cash asks.

When Blitzø doesn’t answer, Cash continues: “It’s a pretty simple contract, you give me I.M.P and all its assets, you and your employees will work for me for the remainder of your pathetic lives, and I will tell you where the little shit is located. We got a deal?”

Blitzø exhales deeply…

This can’t be happening…

~~~Mille~~~

Millie knocked on the door to what she assumed was Moxxie’s aunt’s house.

She had no clue what she was doing, but had confidence in her ability to convince herself she knows what she’s doing.

The door opens and a tall woman with long dark hair answers: “Hello? Can I help you?”

“Hi, my name is Millie. I’m looking for the family of Moxxie knowlasname.” She says.

“Moxxie?” The lady asks. “Like Kay and Crimson’s kid?”

“Yes.” Millie says.

“And who exactly are you?”

“Millie, I’m his wife.” She says.

The woman smiled, then pulled Millie inside the house before she could say more. “Well, why didn’t you say so, come in darlin’ let me make you somethin. I’m Liz, Moxxie’s favorite aunt.” She says.

“Nice to meet you.” She says. Millie walks in the house, following Liz. Something about her rubbed Millie the wrong way, she found herself eager to leave. “Look, I don’t have much time to chat, you see, Moxxie is missing, and he-“

“How long have you and Moxxie been together?” Liz asks, as if Millie hadn’t said a thing.

“Did you not hear what I just-“

“I heard you, we’ll get back to it.” Liz says. “Answer the question.”

Millie raises an eyebrow. “Uhm, okay. Well, we’ve been together for almost three years now. Married for only a year and a half.” Millie explains.

Liz nods. “Wow. Well, congratulations. I can’t say I’m not disappointed that I wasn’t invited, but I suppose under your circumstances I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“What circumstances are those?” Millie asks.

“Well, his family. You know his dad is into some dirty dealings, don’t you?”

“Yes. But Moxxie cut ties with those people.” She says.

“Oh, sweetie. If you think he’s not involved in that business, you’re in denial.”

“Guess I am then, because he isn’t.” Millie says, crossing her arms.

“Sure, hun.” Liz says.

“He isn’t!”

“Alright. How long has Moxxie been missing?” Liz asks.

“He was taken two days ago.” Millie says.

“How do you know Moxxie was taken?” Liz asks. “You sure he didn’t just leave?”

“Of course he didn’t leave, Moxxie would never just leave me.” Millie says.

“You sure? Not even to protect you?” Liz asks.

Millie thought about it…

He wouldn’t…would he?

Well, he didn’t tell her about his father, or

No! His phone was smashed, and he would have left a note…

He would never hurt Millie…

“You’re trying to distract me, and it won’t work, I will find him wether you want me to or not!” Millie says. “And if I find him here, I will kill you.” She snarls.

Liz doesn’t look scared. “I’m sorry, dear. You may look all you like. Don’t forget the attic and the cellar.” Liz says.

Millie glares at her. “Thanks.”

~~~Millie, Past~~~

Millie didn’t use to believe in fate. She didn’t believe in soulmates or one true love. She didn’t believe in meant to be’s.

She believed hard work earned you everything, this was something drilled into her from a very young age.

But then, she met Moxxie.

“Mildred, get in here!” Her mother shouted.

“Yes, Mama?” Millie asks as she made her way downstairs.

“Your teacher called. She said you beat up a kid at your school.” Lynn says. “Is that true?”

“He called me a messy haired bitch!” She says. “I had to show him who was boss!”

“That’s no excuse, young lady. You get too carried away. Now they’re demanding we handle the medical bill. When will you learn? You fight fire with fire. Not gasoline?” Lynn asks.

“But he deserved it!” Millie says.

“It wasn’t a fist fight, Millie. If they insult you with words, you fire back with words. Got that?”

“Yes, Ma.” Millie mumbles, arms crossed.

“Honestly, what are we gonna do with you? You’re worse than your brothers.” Lynn tisks. “You’re going to be paying us back every dime of this.” She says.

“But-“

“No arguing, get upstairs and take some time to think about what you did.” Lynn demanded.

Millie stomps upstairs to her and her sister’s room.

“It’s not fair, I always get in trouble!” She says. “How come you don’t?” Millie asks.

“Because,” her younger sister shrugs. “I’m better than you.”

“You’re not better than me!” Millie says.

“Ugh, yes, I am!” Sally says.

“Nah uh!”

“Uh huh!”

“Yes, and besides he’s right. Your hair is messy.” She says. “It’s gross.”

Millie’s blood boils. “You’re gross! You seriously want to fight me? You want to get what he got?”

“Bring it, sis. Let’s settle this once and for all.” Sally challenges.

“You’re on!” Millie says.

~~~Moxxie, past~~~

“Roxxie, let go of your sister!” Moxxie could hear from inside. He never understood his cousins, they were loud, they ran around, they fought. Why did they find that enjoyable? What was the point? People just get hurt.

“Not until she says uncle!” Roxxie shouts.

“Oww! Mom!”

“Knock it off you too! Your aunt Kay will be here any minute!”

“Mom?” Moxxie asks, tugging on his mother’s sleeve. “Do we have to go in there?” He asks.

“Come on, Chip. Don’t you want to see your family?” His mother asks.

Suddenly they hear a loud ‘crash!’

“Roxxie, Trixxie!” His aunt shouted.

“She did it!” The twins shout.

“Not really.” Moxxie answers.

“Come on, chip. It’ll be fun.” His mother promised, taking his hand and knocking on the door.

Moxxie sighs. “Yes, mama.”

“Aunt Kay!” The twins shouted, hugging their aunt, then they both hugged Moxxie.

Moxxie just sorta stood there while the twins hugged him. The twins were just full of excitement, he wasn’t sure how to respond to it; hhis entire body just froze.

“Hello, Moxxie.” His aunt Liz greets.”

“Hi.” Moxxie says nonchalantly, just staring and forcing himself to keep eye contact.

“Lively as ever I see.” Liz says sarcastically before turning her attention to her sister. “Hey, sis.”

Moxxie’s mother hugs her sister. “It’s been ages.”

They said more, but Moxxie couldn’t concentrate on that, his cousins were chatting and talking to Moxxie about certain events in wrath; But it was hard to pay attention, hard to register, there was too much going on at once, his body wanted nothing more than to disappear, or just go home.

Suddenly aunt Liz picked up Kayla their youngest child and leaned over to Moxxie. “Kyla, can you say hi to Moxxie?” Liz asks her in a babyish tone.”Can you say hi?

The one year old only stared at Moxxie who stared back.

“Hi Kayla.” Moxxie says. Not sure why Liz wanted this, Kayla probably wouldn’t remember this interaction from being too young, and Kayla can’t talk so Moxxie receives nothing from this interaction.

Liz smiles, “come in, I have sweet tea.” She says to Kay. “Roxxie, Trixxie, play nice now.” She says.

“Come on, Moxxie! Let’s play capture the flag!” Roxxie says.

“Mom?” Moxxie asks desperately, he doesn’t want to play with his cousins.

But: “Go play, chip.” Is what his mother ordered.

Moxxie sighs. He doesn’t want to, but he does as she says. He’s not sure why his mom insisted on forcing him to interact with his cousins, they’re have nothing in common.

Honestly, Moxxie would rather be at home. What if something bad happened? What if Sir needed them?

What if Moxxie did something wrong, and he wasn’t there to explain himself?

He didn’t want to be in trouble when they got back.

“Moxxie!” Roxxie calls. “Come on!”

~~~Moxxie, past, Later~~

“Moxxie! There’s a huge mud fight happenin’ over by hudson’s barn. Wanna come with?” Roxxie asks him.

“No.” Moxxie answers, not looking up from his book.

“Mox, go outside and play.” His mother ordered, taking the book from him.

“Wait, I’m not done with that!” Moxxie complains, trying to reach for the book again.

“You need some sunshine, it’s good for you.” His mother says. She sets the book down without a bookmark… Great, now he’ll have to start the chapter over again.

“But they’re playing in mud.” Moxxie argues softly.

“Then go get muddy! It builds character.” She says.

“Reading builds character.” Moxxie mumbles grumpily.

“Moxxie, I’m not going to tell you again.” She says sternly. “Go!”

“Okay, okay.” He surrendered. “I’ll go.”

“Drop the attitude, Moxxie. I’m doing this for your own good.” She says.

Moxxie didn’t believe her

~~~Moxxie~~~

Crimson left shortly after their conversation, knowing Moxxie wouldn’t dare cross him after threatening Blitzø and Millie.

So, with nothing left to do, he went to his room…

And he stayed there for hours.

Crimson knew exactly what to do to make Moxxie listen.

He threatened good people, people he loved.

He’ll never see them again…

Never take part in Blitzø’s idiotic schemes,

Never quarrel with Loona,

He’ll never kiss Millie again… It’s all over for them.

His life is over.

There’s a knock on the door, but Moxxie doesn’t answer, he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t care who it is!

But, the door opens regardless.

Moxxie sighs. “What do you want?” He asks, knowing exactly who it was.

Alessio steps closer. “Are you alright?”

“What do you care? You would have shot me in cold blood.” Moxxie mumbles.

“You brought this on yourself, you know. You know what happens to those who cross Crimson.” Alessio says.

“How exactly is me living crossing him?” Moxxie asks.

“You ran away.” Alessio answers.

“Maybe, but what’s so wrong with me being happy for a change?” Moxxie asks. “I got everything I could ever dream of. I worked hard and life got so much better for me the second I stepped out of this stupid fucking house!” He shouted. “Away from you, and away from him!”

“There are more important things in this life than mere happiness, Moxxie.” Alessio says. “Like family for instance-“

“Like my wife you forced me to abandon?” Moxxie asks.

“You want her to join us instead?” Alessio asks. “You are not like them, you’re different.” Alessio says.

Moxxie’s eyes fill up once again with tears. He hates this, hates this life, hates his father, and Alessio!

Moxxie shakes his head. “What are you even doing here?” Moxxie asks, not knowing how to respond to Alessio.

“Your father asked me to inform you that lunch is being served.” Alessio says.

Moxxie shakes his head again. “I don’t care.”

“Moxxie-“

“I’m not hungry.” Moxxie says. “Please leave me alone?”

“Very well.” Alessio agrees, walking towards the door.

Moxxie crosses his arms, and turns away from Alessio.

“Your life isn’t over, Moxxie.” Alessio says. “It has only resumed.”

“Al?” Moxxie’s asks.

Alessio turns to look at Moxxie.

“Why does he want me here?” Moxxie asks him. “Why couldn’t he just leave me alone?”

“That’s a question for him.” Alessio says. “Don’t you think?”

“He won’t tell me anything.” Moxxie says.

“Then perhaps you simply don’t need to know.” Alessio says, closing the door behind him as he exited Moxxie’s room.

~~~Millie~~~

Millie was trying to not be irritated at Liz. She kept going on about her sister, saying that Moxxie must have left with the mafia and Millie wasn’t going to find him.

No wonder Moxxie never introduced them, Liz is crazy.

“Crimson almost never let her visit, he hit her, he was always extremely possessive. And I’m sure he is doing the same thing to Moxxie. He had been since he was a young’n, he never was very strong.” She says.

Millie growls. “Moxxie is the strongest person I know!” She says. Liz doesn’t reply, and Millie can’t find anything in the house, she practically tore it upside down and found nothing. She was about to just leave when three imps walked into the house.

They were chatting. Two adults. And one that was in their late-teens it seemed.

“Girls- I mean, daughters and non-binary offspring.” Liz greets. “Meet Millie.”

The trio paused to look at her.

“These are my kids, Roxxie, Trixx, and Kayla.” Liz says.

Trixx, the gray haired Imp smiles awkwardly. “Sup.”

“Hi.” Kayla, the youngest one says.

“What’s going on?” Roxxie, the dark haired imp asks.

“This is Moxxie’s wife Millie. You remember Moxxie, right?” Liz asks them.

“Of course.” Roxxie says.

“Sure.” Trixx says.

While the youngest one shook her head in confusion.

Roxxie shakes Millie’s hand. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you Millie.” She says.

“Who’s Moxxie?” Kayla asks.

“You were too young to remember him.” Trixx says. “Is Moxxie okay? Did something happen?”

“Moxxie’s missing.” Millie explains. “I’m sorry, I can’t stay. I have to find him.” She says, trying desperately to leave without sounding rude.

“Millie, he’s probably with his father.” Liz says again.

“We’ve established this, we checked there. He’s not with Crimson!” Millie says loudly.

Liz takes Millie’s hand. “Moxxie isn’t coming back, Millie! Not if he knows what’s good for him.” Liz says. “Let him go…”

“Mom!” Trixx scolds.

“What the fuck are y’all even talking about?” Kayla asks.

While Roxxie’s eyes widened with intrigue, she stayed silent.

Millie shakes her head. “You don’t know him. He’d never give up on me. He loves me!” Millie says. “And I wouldn’t give up on him either.”

“He’s one of them, Mildred. I know, I went through it with my sister. He wouldn’t want you to share her fate.” Liz says.

“Well, you don’t need to worry about me, I can take care of myself.” Millie says, heading to the door.

“I know about these things, Millie. Trust me! They go after what they want! No mercy or exceptions!” Liz explains. “Love can’t save you from them.”

“You’re wrong.” Millie says, walking out and slamming the door behind her.

Moxxie would never leave her…

He couldn’t.

~~~Millie: past~~~

Millie and her siblings were engaged in the mud fight of the century! Kids from all around were joining in.

It was a blast!

Suddenly, a trio of imps caught Millie’s attention.

Two dark haired imps, and one with white hair.

“Come on Moxxie!” One of them shouted.

“I’m coming!” He said, trying to keep up with them.

Then he slipped, falling backwards into the mud.

But the other two kept running, didn’t even look back.

Millie knew what it was like to be left behind, so she approached him. “Need help?” Millie asks, offering her hand.

Moxxie looks her up and down, then takes her hand and allows her to help him. “Thanks.”

“I’m Millie!” She says.

“Uh…Moxxie.” He says.

“Nice to meet you, Moxxie! I’m playing war with my brothers, wanna be on my team?” She asks.

“Uhm-“ Moxxie rubs his arm anxiously. “Well I don’t really-“

Suddenly Moxxie is hit with some mud, and he recoils.

Millie grabs his arm and leads him to her earthworks to hide behind.

“You good for nothin’ scoundrel!” Millie grabbed a glob of mud and threw it in her sister’s direction.

“You stupid bitch!” She shouted back.

“Come on, Moxxie!” Millie shouts. “It’s fun!”

“What’s fun about throwing mud at people? Wouldn’t throwing grenades or something be more effective?” Moxxie asks.

“Probably.” Millie says, “but, I can’t kill my own brother (sister).”

“I see.” Moxxie says. “But, it’s important for you to win this mud fight regardless?” He asks.

“Yeah, I gotta teach him (her) a lesson, he (she) thinks he’s (she’s) so much better than me! Can you believe that?” Millie asks.

“Hmm,” Moxxie thinks. “I think I might have an idea.” Moxxie says to her.

“Really?” She asks.

“Yeah, you helped me, so I supposed I should help you.” Moxxie says.

“What is it?” She asks.

Moxxie smiles and proceeds to show Millie how to make a bomb out of random stuff he found, as well as some parts he brought with him.

Instead of anything dangerous though, they were made to splatter mud everywhere.

Safe to say, Millie won the mud fight thanks to Moxxie’s assistance.

And it was so fucking worth it, even if everyone there was completely covered in mud.

And even if Moxxie slipped and broke his arm afterwards…

Yeah…

The siblings gathered around Moxxie to ask about the bombs he made, Moxxie feeling overwhelmed by them slipped and fell on his arm which made it break.

That was the first time Millie saw an actual bone sticking out of someone’s body.

And Moxxie seemed more annoyed by the injury then upset.

His cousins ran to get their moms.

So, Millie sat with him until they showed up to help.

She refused to leave him alone.

She told him all sorts of stories while he just sat there holding his broken arm.

Millie talked about home, she talked about school,

“And that’s why you should never play football on a golf course, I’ve never really understood golf, why should the lower points win? That’s just silly- wait, I’m not talking too much, am I? My Ma and pa say I always get carried away, I don’t try to but I just do!” She says.

Moxxie shakes his head. “You can talk all you want. I like it. You have a nice voice.”

She smiles and him, and he smiles back, and she continued until his mom showed up to help.

~~~Present~~~

Moxxie always had her back… he always supported her.

And she was never going to leave him alone. He was going to be safe and sound and that’s final!

“Millie?!” Called Trixx who ran out of the house.

“Oh…hi.” Millie says.

“I’m so sorry about my mom. She’s been through a lot.” Trixx says. “I still follow Moxxie’s socials, he seems like a decent guy.” They say.

Millie smiles and nods. “Thanks. He is.”

“I hope you find him. Call me if I can help at all.” Trixx handed her a card with a number.

“Thank you.” She says.

“Of course, Moxxie has always been nice to me. He was the first person to text me when I came out. He’s always been supportive. I hope mom is wrong.”

“I almost wish she wasn’t, I’d have a chance at finding him.” Millie says.

Trixx nods. “Yeah… So, where you gonna look next?”

Millie shakes her head. “I don’t know, any ideas?”

Trixx shakes their head. “I haven’t seen him in years.”

“Well, thanks anyway.”

“Good luck, Millie.” Trixx says. “Tell him hi when you find him.”

Millie smiles. “I will.”

~~~Moxxie, past~~~

Moxxie was leaving the next day, and for once he was upset about it.

The harvest moon festival was going on, so Moxxie walked as far away from it as he could to read.

The noise was just too much. So he found a tree, where it was quiet.

Moxxie didn’t like quiet much, but on rare occasions he found the pleasure in it

“Moxxie! I found you!” A voice shorted.

“Millie! Hi!” He smiles, abandoning his book to give her his full attention.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Can I sign your cast?” Millie asks him, already holding up a marker she had brought herself. “Please?”

Moxxie smiles and gives her his arm so she can. “Of course.”

“Thanks. I wanted to properly thank you for helping me win.” She says.

“Oh, you’re welcome. It was fun actually.” Moxxie says. “I’ll say!” Millie says. “What started the mud fight anyway?” Moxxie asks her.

Millie sighs. “I dunno, I was angry and got carried away.” She says. “A boy at school…he said I was a messy haired bitch. I hate him.” She says, “and no one disagrees with him… I guess he’s right and maybe I overreacted.” Millie says.

“I don’t think you overreacted.” Moxxie says. “And you have nice hair.”

Millie smiles. “You think so?”

“Yeah, it’s nice.” Moxxie shrugs. “And you’re nice too.”

“No, I’m not.” She scoffs.

“You helped me up, no one else did.” He says.

“I guess that’s true.” Millie says. “I think you were very brave out there.” She says.

“Me?” Moxxie asks.

“Yeah! Your arm broke and you didn’t even cry! My brothers probably would have, that looked awful painful. Not me though, I’m tough.”

Moxxie chuckled. “Oh, well…I’ve broken it before. It didn’t hurt that much.” He says.

“Still cool though. Where did you move here from anyway?” Millie asks. “I assume you’re not from here on account of you being so different then most folks around here.”

“I’m from Greed, we’re only visiting. We’re going home tomorrow actually.” Moxxie explains.

“Oh.” Millie says sadly. “Will you ever come back to wrath?” She asks.

“Yeah, we visit every year.” He says.

“You can visit me next year…if you want.” Millie suggests.

“I’d love to.” Moxxie smiles.

Millie and Moxxie continued to talk. Despite loving the festival, Millie didn’t regret spending the rest of the day with Moxxie.

He really was so different then the other kids around here…

And she liked that.

~~~Blitzø~~~

“Stolas, I really can’t talk right now.” Blitzø says as he answered the phone. He told Cash he needed some time to think it over, and luckily he agreed. But, now Blitzø was left with a stupidly impossible choice!

“You can never talk, Blitzø! You’re always ready with an excuse, please stop trying to avoid it and just talk to me?” Stolas asks.

Blitzø hates how much Stolas knows him. “Stolas, I-“

“I promise no one is judging you.” Stolas says. “You don’t have to be embarrassed based on a little meltdown.”

Blitzø sighs, he should have known Stolas would eventually put two and two together.

A little meltdown is an understatement, he’s had multiple meltdowns, none as bad as this one…

Honestly, Blitzø was embarrassed…and confused about what happened afterwards- maybe even a little scared…

But that didn’t matter now. Stolas didn’t need to know how upset he was over that.

What he doesn’t know won’t kill him. Besides, he’s got a real reason to avoid the bird this time.

“This isn’t about that.” He says to Stolas.

And it wasn’t…kinda wasn’t at least- he hated that it happened, but he was willing to let it go until he and Stolas talked and it made everything worse.

‘I want to give you all the love you deserve.’

He was just so nice! He cared so much!

Too much…

“Then why have you been avoiding me?” Stolas asks. “Every time we talk, you have an excuse. Just talk to me, don’t you think I deserve that at least?” He asks.

He does, Blitzø owes a lot to Stolas. Stolas has done everything he can for Blitzø… he at least deserves the truth. “Okay, maybe it was because of that- before- but not because of what happened…”

“What do you mean?” Stolas asked.

Blitzø realized that lying may be his best option now, he can’t risk loosing or hurting Stolas. “I just- I needed some time to get over it… but now- it’s about Moxxie.”

“Moxxie? Your employee?” Stolas asks.

“He’s missing.” Blitzø confirms.

“Oh dear, that is troubling.” Stolas says.

“Yeah.”

“Any idea where he might be?” Stolas asks him.

“We have a lead, but I’m not sure if I trust it.” Blitzø explains.

“I’m sorry.” Stolas says. “I had no idea-“

“It’s fine.” Blitzø says.

Stolas sighs. “I am sorry, I should have given you space-“ Stolas sighs. “I thought maybe after our conversation-“

“Stolas, it’s fine. You haven’t been bothering me. I just don’t know how to communicate…that’s all.”

“I promise I’ll do better, just tell me if you need space before, and I’ll give it to you…I just-“

Blitzø was about to interrupt, but he was interested in what Stolas had to say…

“I thought maybe you were mad at me…I thought I messed up and you were upset and avoiding me.” Stolas explains.

“I wasn’t mad, okay? You were helping me.” Blitzø says.

“I tried…” Stolas says. “But, you were still so upse-“

“Stolas, we’re good! Next time I’ll tell you. I’m sorry I made you worry.” Blitzø says.

“It’s alright.” Stolas says. “I know that wasn’t your intention.”

Blitzø sighs again, he needs to get off the phone, but he doesn’t want to…

What was wrong with him?

“Would you like some assistance in finding Moxxie?” Stolas asks.

“What?” Blitzø asks.

“I asked if you needed help, I have some connections that may be useful.” Stolas offers.

Blitzø considers it, maybe he can ask Stolas’s help with the situation…

Stolas has already done too much, he can’t take advantage of him. “No, we don’t need anything, Stolas. We’re fine.”

“Keep me updated?” Stolas asks.

“Yeah.” He hangs up the phone and drops his head…

What the fuck was he going to do?

~~~Moxxie:~~~

What’s he going to do when Millie and Blitzø find him?

They are looking for him…right?

They wouldn’t just- give up.

Moxxie wanted to cry. He didn’t want them to give up. But what was the use in hoping if they’ll be rejected and cast away even if they find Moxxie.

He’ll be foced to watch as everyone he loves is taken away-

Just like before.

He felt like a child again…

He was acting like a child again…

Why can’t he just grow the fuck up and move on?

He couldn’t though… if he were anywhere else, he’d

But he felt so small, so weak.

He felt like a scared child again, he wanted his mom to help him the way she used to.

“You can’t possibly have nothing left for me.” Moxxie says to her as if she were listening somehow from beyond the grave. “You must have some words left, some guidance..”

Moxxie walks over to the window and looked to the sky.

They say Imps don’t have an afterlife- but they have to have something…right?

“What do you want me to do, mom? Please-please just tell me what to do and I’ll do it!” He begged. “You were always so good at that…”

But she doesn’t answer him…

She’s not there…

Or- or maybe she was ignoring him…

The way she used to when she was mad…

Was she mad at him? Because-

Moxxie’s mind is turned back to the cast-

“No…”

~~~Past~~~

Moxxie and his mother got back from their trip to wrath.

Crimson have got one look at the cast and flipped out. “What the fuck is this?” He asks, grabbing Moxxie’s arm.

“There was an incident. But he’s fine.” She says.

“He’s not fine! If he was fine, he wouldn’t be wearing a cast on his arm, would he?” Crimson asks.

“Relax, Crimson. He had some fun for a change.”

“That’s the last time I’m letting you take him to wrath, I didn’t sleep with you just so you could break our kid.”

“I’m breaking him? Really? He breaks his arm all the time!” She says.

“Yeah! Here, where it’s safe to do so!” Crimson says. “I don’t need him breaking it when he’s that far from home!”

Moxxie went to his room, he doesn’t want to hear his parents fight anymore.

~~~Later~~~

His mother walks into Moxxie’s room as he was drawing something in his notebook.

“Chip?”

“Yes, mama?”

“Did you have a good time?”

“The best time!” Moxxie says.

“You really liked Millie, hm?” She asks.

“Yeah, she was cool.” Moxxie says. “She told me where her house is so I can visit her next time, see?” Moxxie shows his mother a map he drew himself that went from his aunts house to Millie’s house.

“I do see.” His mother says. “That’s very impressive, Chip.”

Moxxie turns back to his notebook, finishing the details of the house.

“You know, I knew her mother Lynn in highschool. We weren’t really friends or anything, but I knew of her. They comes from a really nice family.” She says.

Moxxie smiles, but then notices his mom wasn’t…

His smile deflates. “What’s wrong, Mama?” He asks.

“Sweetie, you must promise me something: You can’t let her get caught up in this.”

“Caught up in what?” He asks.

“All this, your family. You can’t see her again, Chip.” She says. “I’m sorry, but you can’t. You’ll ruin her life.”

Moxxie’s eyes widen.

He doesn’t want to ruin Millie’s life.

“I know you’re very young, and it’s hard to understand now. But. Please promise me, Moxxie?”

“I promise…” Moxxie says.

~~~present~~~

“You can’t be mad at me about that…” he says to his mother like she was still there. Tears pour down Moxxie’s face more and more at the realization that he may have disappointed her. “No- You’re not allowed to be mad at me! Just because you couldn’t be happy doesn’t mean I don’t get to be! I needed her, it was too much to ask of me!”

Moxxie sits down on the floor and curled up to himself. “You don’t know what it was like, I was just a kid, taking care of you! Doing everything you ever asked of me- everything he asked me… I’m allowed to be selfish for once!” He says.

Did he really ruin Millie’s life like she said? Did he hurt and abandon the woman he loved?

Was she going to be okay now that Moxxie’s not there?

He wiped the tears from his eyes, and he curls up against the corner of his room.

‘Please don’t be mad at me, mama…I’m sorry.'

It was like she was leaving him all over again.

Notes:

‘Family said that I decided to live a loveless life Is it my fault we stay divided? 'Cause I got too much pride?’ ~The family Jewels, Marina and the diamonds.

~~~ Notes: I’m so sorry this took me so long. I swear I was working hard to get it done, but it wasn’t coming out the way I wanted it to.

Hopefully the hard work paid off and the chapter is decent enough.

I know this is probably not how M&M met, but I had this idea and for some reason couldn’t see it any other way…idk.

Lol lmk how you’d imagine M&M met, I got a feeling it may have been an enemies to lovers dynamic. (Or maybe I just hope that cuz’ it’s so funny to me that these perfect lovers were once enemies. Lol.)

Hope to update soon, next chapter will have more sharks. love you guys! Taglist: @todayimfour

#itty bitty imps #helluva boss age regression #helluva boss #Little!Moxxie #Helluva boss Moxxie #Helluva boss Crimson #father knows best

[jasmineiros]

I thought if I was patient maybe things would change for the best. Maybe she would change. But she never did.

I don't know how or why my mother started to change or if she was always just like that and I never noticed. I never really felt worthy enough of being loved and I greatly owe this to my father that left me and my sister when we were still kids, without saying a word about what was happening. I learned very soon that everything could be taken away from me anytime and I then tried not to develop love or attachment to anything.

Thanks to this familiar background I always saw my mom as the good guy. Never once I doubted she loved me, me and my sister and I always thought she was just a difficult person to deal with.

But time had showed me that it was more than that. Constant emotional blackmail, including suicidal threats, verbal aggression, public embarrassment were followed by gaslighting and soon enough, acting like nothing had happened, not saying sorry since I can remember asking me why "I was so quiet."

Why was I so quiet? Well, when you grow up with people yelling around you, there's really nothing else you can say. You either stay silent or yell at them back. I was the kind that just stayed silent, trying to avoid trouble, but even so, somehow, things were also turned against me.

It's been more than an year I'm telling myself we could work our relationship out, that this could be fixed. That me, my sister and my mom could be a family, broken as it always was. But then I was proved wrong again.

Last Tuesday mom invited me for lunch at a Thai restaurant. Everything was relatively fine, until mother decided to call the attention of a group behind us being loud. They were actually being annoying but we were about to leave. But of course she had to take some action and being the center of attentions in a public place. She did it so many times before, why wouldn't she do now?

So after this utter embarrassment she again complained about them, this time to me, and I asked her to calm down trying to explain it wasn't a big deal. She turns to me and says I am the one that should calm down and that it was not her fault I was so passive for everything.

When we left she complained how ungrateful I was, she called me to a nice restaurant, pays for my food and I act like this ???? I tried to stay quiet but I couldn't really handle this, I just talked back some stuff I can't even remember and left her talking to herself.

Ofc when she got back home, somehow I was guilty of something terrible. How could I turn my back to my own mother and an elderly like that, if she is so nice and sweet.

I had the worst time trying to sleep. I really thought somehow she could understand me, that she was my friend and could see the best in me somehow. She did this kind of thing many times before, I think I just couldn't or didn't want to see it. I didn't want to believe how narcissist she is, how she sees me more like an affirmation of her own identity rather than an independent human being that deserves respect.

The next day she came at me, saying she slept with her whole body aching, that her greatest problem was sadness and that it was my fault she was like that. Somehow this is my fault. She is acting nicely now but I don't know when will be her next strike. I never know. And I can't expect for the best. Maybe I never could.

I really thought she was reliable and that she would never hurt me, not on purpose. I always thought she would be my friend. But I think she never was. She never really was.

#yara.txt #personal #tw suicide mention