Frank: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie*
Percy: You can't just skip to the happy ending!
Frank, shrugging: I don't have time for their problems.
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hazel: percy and annabeth just have the most beautiful relationship
piper: i know! they are SO in love
frank: and they are always so on the same page
leo: and their relationship is so mature
*meanwhile*
percy and annabeth outside the cabin fighting over who gets to talk to sally on the phone first:
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Frank: I don't know what's worse.
Frank: The fact that I used to think I was related to Octavian,
Frank: or the fact that I'm related to Percy.
Percy: *drinking pure lemon juice* Why is that a bad thing?
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Frank: do you ever get the urge to wake up in the middle of the night while everyone else is asleep and just walk to places and be completely alone and entirely dedicated to your thoughts?
Nico: yes, but the problem is I don't wanna get murdered nor murder anyone accidentally. Do you feel me?
Percy: I feel you.
Jason: I feel you, too.
Leo: we all feel you.
Nico: why are so many people touching me?
Frank, nodding: this's why you don't walk around in the middle of the night.
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Argo II debating on weather or not to save Nico:
Hazel: "That is my brother. We are saving him."
Leo: "I get Hazel really, but tbh he's kinda weird and creppy so OMG HAZEL PUT DOWN THE CHAIR-"
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jason: “we go to camp jupiter, of course i fought a wolf at the age of two!”
frank, hazel, and literally everyone else: wait what the fuck??
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Grover's thoughts through HoO regarding his empathy link with Percy: a series
tlh: where tf is this little- I was doing something man find ya ass back at camp or I stg
son: bitch. I told you to FIND YA ASS AT CAMP H A L F B L O O D NOT THIS KNOCK OFF JULIUS CEASER VIBE SHITSTORM
moa: what are- this broke ass blonde pelican better not replace me
hoh: whatthefuckwhatthefuck p a i n wherethefuckispercy whatthe f u c k
boo: stop FUCKIN dying of all the GODDAMN times to get a FUCKIN NOSEBLEED PERSEUS
bonus:
grover: i couldve married a giant. it couldve been done. but NO i decided to make an EMPATHY LINK.
grover, in cali: ah finally some fucking peac- WHAT IS HE DOING NOW HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE S T U D Y I N G
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have you ever thought about how out of all the men in PJO and HOO, percy is the least like annabeth? they complement each other so beautifully, like 2 puzzle pieces that are a perfect fit, but they’re SO different. like imagine…
piper: annabeth is dating one of these 4 men
hazel: *gestures to percy, jason, frank, and leo*
piper: guess which one
random person: hmm… i’d say frank. he’s the son of the god of war and she’s the daughter of the goddess of battle strategy. they’re both incredible fighters and stategists. i bet they are amazing together
percy: 😐
hazel: *nervously laughs*
piper: um, nope! try again!
random person: oh? really? ok well then definitely jason. son of zeus? well mannered, always in control of the situation, very humble and honorable. as a daughter of athena, he’s totally her type. they are both very calm and level-headed. they both are leaders and know how to weigh the options and outcomes quickly in a tough situation. plus, they are both blonde with light eyes, so they would have beautiful babies!
percy: 😒
piper: *nervously laughs*
hazel: um… still no! one more try!
random person: oh wait… i’m so stupid! it’s obvious!
hazel: there you go! i also think it’s obv-
random person: it’s leo! why didn’t i see it? he’s a mechanic. she’s an architect. they are perfect together! she’s a creator and he’s a fixer. their brains work so much like each other. they’re basically meant to be! oh and they are both from the south!! and i bet-
piper: IT’S PERCY! she is dating percy. perseus jackson. you know, the one on the left? tall, tan, lean, black hair, green eyes? him and only ever him.
random person: oh
percy: 🤨
random person: the… the son of poseidon?? the hot sarcastic bad boy? with that troublemaker look about him? the one with severe mood swings, and who gets expelled from every single school he goes to?
percy: *awkwardly looks down at his hands*
random person: HE’S annabeth chase’s boyfriend??
annabeth: damn right he is 🥰
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