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#forever one of the best accounts
shaa-ki · 4 months
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Pike's life is so weird and sad no matter what universe he's in because "the first best destiny" of the Federation means that he has to be removed from the narrative through extreme physical trauma in order for his pseudo-son's soulmate to Captain the Enterprise but in the alternative universe buddy not only gets removed from the narrative because of extreme physical trauma, but he then gets fridged so his boss can trick his pesudo-son in that universe to start a war with the Klingon's.
The Space Koala must hate him. Imagine your whole career being the prelude to someone who most everyone remembers as better to the point where even yourself from an alternative future comes back in time to tell you that you won't be enough for the future of the Federation and that you need to get out of the way before you ruin everything.
Anyway, I'm waiting for Pike's breakdown because it's gonna be beautifully devastating and considering how many times he's been told he's not built for war it's got to be coming with this Gorn plot.
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kamomie · 8 months
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Hot take:
No egg is the most misunderstood egg.
All the eggs have sides to their personality and trauma that are only seen by their closest family and friends.
I get grey hairs every time I see Leo and Tallulah being described as the most misunderstood eggs.
Let me ask, how many on the island truly know Ramon? Chayanne? Dapper? Pomme? Richarlyson?
Answer: Their parents and ~2-3 of their aunts/uncles. Exactly like Leo and Tallulah.
A note specifically on Leo:
If your proof of Leo being misunderstood is q!aypierre and q!bad saying she would enjoy being away from q!foolish, I have news for you; they weren't being serious. Q!bad knows perfectly well how close Leo and q!foosh are, and seeing people constantly downplaying q!bad's relationship with Leo in specific is honestly sad. Yes, Leo now prefers to be taken care of by q!roier because that's her brother, and he speaks Spanish. But way before he was there? Q!bad was her babysitter. Q!max babysat her twice, I think? But other than that? For months, if Leo needed a babysitter, it was q!bad. He knows her. She knows him. She used to help q!bad troll q!foolish. When q!forever came clean about what he did to Leo, q!bad drew his weapon, getting ready to kill. She used to wake up for him as well. And she still occasionally does. Q!bad sang his most precious lullaby to her, "You are my sunshine," with personalised lyrics:
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear how much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away. The other night dear, when that whale hurt you, I was very, very upset. But thankfully dear, you are still here, so i’m not as upset as I was. Oh don't worry Leonarda, your papa Foolish and I will keep you safe. So will Vegetta and everyone else, we won’t let anything happen to you.”
Don't sit there and tell me q!bad doesn't know Leo.
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roychewtoy · 7 months
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impaled
#nathan being impaled on that tetanus inducing loose steel pipe. tho tetanus is the least of his worries on account of. well u know 🕳#nathan can be a body horror fans best friend if u let him into ur heart. living human crash dummy#i really cant believe he gets impaled. twice.#hole moment!#love turning nathans immortality round in my head. but healing factor....?#thinkin today about how the video game guy tim threatens to cut one of them in half with a chainsaw and simon is like:#[😐nathan u obviously have to volunteer]#but what woulda actually happened if that followed through [probably why it didnt lol]#would the others have had to drag each severed bit of him back to the community centre and let his guts re fuse#fucking hold him together with gaffer tape and plasters. cause i doubt he coulda regrown a whole half#his 'healing factor' only comes into play when he dies. fresh canvas etch a sketch reboot and all that. hes not fuckin wolverine#all the deaths r: impaled on fence. impaled on pipe. beaten to death. blows his own brains out. falls and snaps his neck#but chainsaw... ? one can ponder. fingers to head i can imagine anything image#readin his wiki rn 'his body will never get sick. rot. age. or truly grow old'#may not get sick but he can still shit his guts out. hashtag oblivious lactose intolerant king hashtag milk drinker#forever the worlds most annoying twenty yr old#and then the wiki goes 'the user does not need to eat drink or breathe' ....hello#ive rotated him not aging any further cause it lines up with the whole stuck in his ways. never changing [kelly voice: its just who u are]#but eatin and drinking and breathing??? we know he still experiences hunger [<-kebab]#and he dunks his head in a bucket of water when hes testin for powers with simon. gaspin for air afterwards right#firm believer in the. he suffocated to death several times in the coffin before they dug him up#oh waaait. is it stating this like. he doesnt need foodwaterair. cause it doesnt matter if he dies.. ohhhhhh..... Oh..😃#staring at nathan sleeping in the community centre surviving on bags of crisps from the vendies so hard i burn holes through my monitor#this got away from me. uh. living crash dummy. oil pastel guts and water colour jumpsuit yessir#having fun doin art. expect more hole art. sorryfor putting this in the misfits tag hehe. not really#gore#blood#misfits#my art#chewtoy
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pepprs · 1 year
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STILL wide awake! i did not put down my phone! and now im hungry. so i will not be sleeping tonight ♥️
#purrs#also… im gonna admit it. ive been up for hours cleaning out… my toyhouse accounts. not cleaning them out but cleaning them up. and im so#FUCKING mad at my 18 year old self for giving away characters that meant so much to me to 12 year olds on warriors amino who never finished#their half of the art trade… and now so many of them are like. completely out of my reach and i can never get them back. im trying to ask#for the characters ive been able to find and track them down. which for ppl who actually love and care for them im sure is predatory and#annoying bc it’s like ok you made that choice so live with it. but im so fucking mad at myself and i wish i could undo it. i know it doesn’t#matter bc i don’t do that kind of deviantart stuff anymore but like.. i gave away characters who were so special to me growing up and now so#many of them are like.. on locked / unauthorized toyhouses or deleted or the person already owns them and is never trading them and#imjust so SAD!!!!!! over pixels i know. PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER over pixels. but im so saddddd aughhhhh#delete later#(i also did clean out photos and do practice drivers tests btw. but ive mostly been doing toyhouse stuff)#also im so sad and angry charahub went down and i didn’t even know it and i can’t access my data at allll like so much precious info#on there is gone forever. pain and suffering. also it’s worth naming im not in this to like have the best most expensive whatever designs im#doing this bc i desperately want to salvage every piece of my childhood / adolescence and never let go of anything in my life ever and when#i was 18 i thought i could run away from deeply permanently hurting and betraying a friend by selling all of my characters starting w the#ones they made me and then branching off into baiscally all of them to not make it look like it was just abt them bc i couldn’t bear to be#reminded of what i had done. and now i live with the consequences. in more ways than just the characters obviously. so there’s that#(i had my reasons for doing what i had to do btw. but i will never stop feeling guilty about it or regretting how it must have felt for them#bc we were like best friends and then i turned cold and awful because i didn’t know how to communicate my needs so instead i just shut them#out and didn’t even have the decency to explain why. and it fucking sucked that i did that. lol)#* ​and still sucks. and i think abt it all the time and try not to talk about it for a lot of reasons but here i am so. lol
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mythrianalpha · 1 year
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Adobo (not gravy version) recipe:
1 parts white vinegar : 2 parts soy (the reduced salt version also works) : 3 parts water (you’ll need to add more later if you use a lidless pot and it boils off)
Pork (basic option, I use chops since they tear apart nicely later anyway) or chicken (breasts tear nicely later as well, makes the whole dish sweeter so adjust taste as required)
Minced garlic (I use the jarred version for convenience, heaping spoonfuls - I usually go with 2)
Black pepper (bunch, go wild this soup is made of vinegar and soy sauce)
Bay leaves (3-4 and remove before serving, optional if it’s a pain to get but very nice if you have it)
Brown sugar (2 spoonfuls to start, you’ll more than likely add more later as this and water are our primary flavor controls)
If it tastes too sour, add brown sugar. If that doesn’t work, add more water. I honestly haven’t had to do anything else to corral the flavors, but I’ll happily experiment with suggestions.
Boil Like The Soup. Once the meat is safe to eat, it’s basically ‘done’. Typically I’ll let it go a few hours of stewing in the tasty juices while jacking with the flavor every 30min or so, but that’s because I enjoy it. Much like stew, it’s also way tastier reheated the next day or if it cooks a bit longer.
Serve over rice, or potatoes. Adding chopped potatoes directly to the pot can also help with the salty soy, but I’ve done it like once and can’t fully vouch (tasty tho). Broccoli is also fun ‘cause it disintegrates and adds textures, but they do slurp a lot of juice while whole and that can be kinda unpleasant to bite into (a sopping mess of salty sour mush).
Minor warning: the fumes may steal your nose hairs, so take general steam precautions because this steam has extra weapons.
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moondrunkmonster · 10 months
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i'm Very Seriously Considering starting derby again (in a 'my cart is full of derby gear and i'm just waiting to get my car fixed and get stable again to buy it' way) and I am, of course, thinking about all my west coast derby stories that are going to make me sound so cool and good at skating and make people want to hang out with me
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vitiateoriginator · 1 year
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After almost 17 literal years, I'm finally planning to buy myself a new computer. Just waiting to get my income tax money in March. The dinosaur is still in decent working condition, but it's time to let her rest. She's served me very well over the past decade and a half, and it's going to be the hardest thing giving her up. But at this point it's time to upgrade
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nerves-nebula · 1 year
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ive decided if i ever see anything related to sex again i'm going to kill myself < follows many nsfw accounts and will not unfollow them
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thetreetopinn · 4 months
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Sources for Somerton's Plagiarism from Hbomberguy's Video (as much as I could get)
I went back through Harry's video, focused entirely on the sources James Somerton pulled from in the hopes of creating as much of a comprehensive list as I could--though my Google-Fu is not very strong. I did however find something I thought was forever lost and that made me very happy--specifically the magazine Midlands Zone containing the column by Steven Spinks that Harry poignantly used as an illustration of gay erasure... while Somerton uses it to sound like HE is waxing remorseful about the very subject.
This is not a complete list, I'm sure. For one thing, I was only able to attempt to pull sources that Harry himself mentioned in the video. Surely there's so very much more out there. I expect there to be a great deal more internet archeology to unearth just how much writing and culture Somerton has stolen like he's the British Museum of Natural History but for gay people.
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Harry's list of mentioned youtubers:
Alexander Avila - https://www.youtube.com/@alexander_avila Matt Baume - https://www.youtube.com/@MattBaume Khadija Mbowe - https://www.youtube.com/@KhadijaMbowe Lady Emily - https://www.youtube.com/@LadyEmilyPresents Shanspeare - https://www.youtube.com/@Shanspeare RickiHirsch - https://www.youtube.com/@RickiHirsch VerilyBitchie - https://www.youtube.com/@verilybitchie
Harry created a convenient playlist of videos by these and other people he wants to bring to everyone's attention.
Please give them your support.
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Midlands Zone Magazine - Column by Steven Spinks
After a great deal of searching, I found an archive of the "Midlands Zone" magazine, where you can read through past issues dating all the way back to February 2014. I have also found the issue from which Somerton took Spinks' poignant discussion of gay erasure: Overall archive Specific Issue - Pages 16-17
It will not allow you to download it, but you can read it exactly as it appeared in print form.
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My best effort to find the exact book or article Somerton lifted from to be able to get attention to the original writers
Tinker Bells and Evil Queens By Sean Griffin
The Celluloid Closet By Vito Russo Wikipedia article about the book Wikipedia article about the documentary My weak google-fu could not find where you can access the book or documentary. Check your local municipal or university library for book or documentary, or if you know a good source for one or both, please reblog with it added
Camp and the Gay Sensibility By Jack Babuscio
The Groundbreaking Queerness of Disney's Mulan By Jes Tom Personal site with links to social media accounts
Why Rebel Without a Cause was a milestone for gay rights By Peter Howell
Why "The Craft" is still the best Halloween coming out movie By Andrew Park
Opinion: From facehuggers to phallic tails, is 'Alien' one of the queerest films ever? By Dani Leever
Women and Queerness in Horror: Jennifer's Body By Zoe Fortier
[Pride 2019] We Have Such Sights to Show You: Hellraiser and the Spectrum of Queerness By Alejandra Gonzalez
Revealing the Hellbound Heart of Clive Barker's 'Hellraiser' By Colin Arason
Queering James Cameron's Aliens (1986) By Bart Bishop
Demeter and Persephone in space: transformation, femininity, and myth in the 'Alien' films By David Greven
Fears of a millennial masculinity: Scream's queer killers By David Greven (Scholarly site, unable to access original work, offers a way to request a full copy of the text in PDF)
Queer Subtext in Stephen King's It - Part 1: 'Reddie' Character Analysis By Rachel Brands Rachel is the very unfortunate lady who found out she was being stolen from because she supported Somerton through Patreon and saw one of his videos early with her writing--lacking any form of citation or credit
How 'It: Chapter Two' Leaves Richie Tozier Behind By Joelle Monique
When Horror Becomes Strength: Queer Armor in Stephen King's 'IT' By Alex London
Why Queer People Love Witchcraft By Amanda Kohr
'The Favourite' Queers The Past And The Present By Giorgi Plys-Garzotto
(Wuko) Crush (Mako x Wu) By MoonFlower on YouTube
5 Terrible Movies With Awesome Hidden Meanings By J.F. Sargent
The Radicalization of Sexuality: The Queer Casae of Jeffrey Dahmer By Ian Barnard
Netflix's 'Dahmer' backlash highlights ethical issues in the platform's obsession with true crime By Shivani Dubey
The Possible Disturbing Dissonance Between Hajime Isayama's Beliefs and Attack on Titan's Themes Original Article by "Seldom Musings" (Author has made all posts not related to Attack On Titan private and has retired from the blog)
Everyone Loves Attack on Titan. So Why Does Everyone Hate Attack on Titan? By Gita Jackson
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The following people are otherwise named in the video. There are no direct citations of articles or books by them in said video. I am unable to guarantee that I have identified the correct individual.
Darren Elliott-Smith Michaela Barton David Church Claire Sisco King Amanda Howell Jessica Roy
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Telos announced and cancelled a film likely based on this book: The Final Girl Support Group - By Grady Hendrix
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I refrained from including certain sources.
First off only focusing on Somerton's work.
Secondly not including anything that might be visible enough to not require amplifying their voice (I cannot speak for all of those I have found links to, but journalism is frequently a thankless job).
Thirdly any source that is of a nature that is antithetical to the very existence of the queer community, such as the right-leaning source that didn't make it into Somerton's video, but Harry was able to identify as a source he had considered using.
If you feel I have missed a mentioned source--or you know of a source from material that was not covered in Harry's video--please do not hesitate to reblog with added details.
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Please share this information far and wide, and please add to it if you find more material that can be positively identified and linked to the creator/writer.
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idiopathicsmile · 6 months
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you know what really grinds my gears?
okay, bear with me: so as you may know, harry houdini and arthur conan doyle were friends, at least for a while.
by the early 1920s, both arthur conan doyle and acd's wife jean, aka lady doyle, believed whole-heartedly in spiritualism, talking to ghosts and all of that. (sidenote: this was of course right on the heels of a devastating world war and a devastating pandemic, both of which had created a huge population of grieving people, so spiritualism was having a moment.)
lady doyle sincerely thought she had the ability to go into a trance state and pass along messages in writing from the dead. she offered to do this for houdini. houdini agreed.
lady doyle attempted to channel houdini's late mother. she basically drew a cross at the top of the paper and filled it with generic platitudes addressed to "harry." houdini's mom was jewish and didn't talk like that, so houdini knew the jig was up, even if lady doyle didn't. but not wanting to make the situation awkward, he kind of went along with it to their faces.
then acd decided to publish a glowing account of the seance, and since both he and houdini were super famous, it got a lot of attention, and letters started pouring in for houdini, asking if this was true. ultimately, houdini couldn't lie about it. so he essentially said, like, "yeah, i think lady doyle THINKS she can talk to ghosts but she absolutely can't." and it ruined his friendship with acd forever.
and then of course a lot of the people running seances weren't even well-intentioned like lady doyle, they were just simple charlatans taking advantage of traumatized people mourning loved ones. in houdini's youth, he and his wife had traveled the carnival circuit where he did an act pretending to commune with spirits, so he knew all the tricks of the trade AND he had lingering guilt over having done this, AND he was infuriated by this increasingly popular wave of con artists so he decided to assemble a team of anti-grifting grifters and together they went on the road exposing whichever spiritualists were preying on the locals.
houdini's best agent was a young woman named rose mackenberg, who donned disguises to visit the fraud de jour and then importantly sussed out what non-supernatural thing was actually happening, and then houdini would demonstrate the techniques onstage to packed audiences.
(if you want to know more, check out episode 175, "ghost racket crusade" of the podcast Criminal or read Tony Wolf's book The Real-Life Ghostbusting Adventures of Rose Mackenberg.)
but yeah, what really gets my goat is that all this happened and as far as i know, we still don't have like four seasons of a Leverage-style historical procedural about rose mackenberg and the rest of the crew having adventures in the 1920s as they unmask craven hucksters all over the united states. (what we do have, apparently, is one season of a show called "houdini and doyle" which is about the oddball friendship of two contrasting men solving sometimes-actually-supernatural mysteries, and whose premise does i think at the very least a real disservice to houdini's whole quest and also totally erases rose, who is arguably the most interesting part of this story to me.)
i am just steamed about this. steamed.
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neon-danger · 8 months
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Also if I find out y’all are reading the recs I post and not giving those writers kudos I will break into your home and steal only one of each of your shoes
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celestrials · 1 year
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I just think that it’s so fun and amazing that one of the ppl I’m still friends with hangs out with the ppl who were directly involved in some really bad stuff with me and probably didn’t ever confront them about it or ask them why the heck they ever allowed something like that to happen for so long and also how they could hurt so many ppl and not feel sorry about any of it. Idk it’s just sort of wild to see insta stories of them just hanging out so casually like nothing happened and I absolutely know for sure she never confronted them about it bc that’s just how all of them are and how they have always been. Im just coming to the realization that I’ve never had like a solid friend group where I can grow with ppl and like trust to do the right thing and like idk are not just about partying and going out all the time I guess? Idk it’s just all really fun and really strange
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seungminheart · 7 months
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CATFISH...? — han jisung
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pairing: rockstar!han jisung x fem!reader genre: humor (!! basically crack), smut word count: 9.2k warnings: 18+ mdni!!! tinder usage (jumpscare i know), switch!jisung, sexting, oral (f. rec), orgasm denial, protected sex, finger sucking, overstimulation, praise kink, they're in a dressing room and there is a mirror (u do the math...)
summary: What is more embarrassing than matching on Tinder with a catfish pretending to be rockstar Han Jisung, number one heartthrob of the decade? Probably discovering that the catfish isn't a catfish and actually is, in fact, rockstar Han Jisung. Whoops.
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Your downfall begins with one too many glasses of wine and the accidental slip of a finger.
In your defense, you didn't mean to swipe right on the very obvious catfish account now staring up at you from your phone. In all honesty, you didn't mean to redownload Tinder at all—not after your last failed attempt when you swore off dating apps forever.
But hey, you are a strong believer that one shouldn't be held responsible for the decisions they make while wine drunk, and you'll stick by that until the day you die.
For a catfisher, the profile looks rather convincing. A well curated selection of photos, a flirty one-liner bio, and somehow they even managed to get the account verified.
And yet, you find it very hard to believe that the Han Jisung, lead singer of the number one band SKZ, happens to be in your area, on Tinder of all places.
Sure, the serotonin of seeing "It's a Match!" did send a little thrill down your spine. Still, it always amuses you when people decide to pretend to be celebrities on dating apps to get more matches.
As you lounge on the couch, taking another sip of your drink, your phone lights up with a message.
jisung: damn jisung: i'm trying to blow ur back out fr jisung: respectfully of course
In the background, whatever cheesy romcom you put on plays, and you can't help the snort you let out after reading the messages.
you: damn you: what happened to hi? hello? my name is?
You know indulging a catfish isn't the best idea, but you're drunk and bored, and using dating apps always makes you act out a little more than you should.
jisung: my b ur right jisung: hi, hello, my name is jisung :^)
The dorky emoji amuses you, as does the catfisher's dedication to keeping the charade up.
you: much better you: you may proceed jisung: ahaha jisung: no but fr if ur into it, wanna let me dick u down? you: lol jisung: ? you: sorry, not really into being fucked by guys who lie abt their identity jisung: lol wym you: no way ppl on here actually think ur han jisung jisung: yes they do? jisung: because i am? you: you'll forgive me if i don't believe u jisung: i'd forgive u for a lot of things ;) jisung: no but fr i am han jisung jisung: han jisung is me
You chew on your lip, thoroughly amused with the conversation. Did this person really expect you to just believe them? If they were Han Jisung, then you must be Mother Theresa.
you: prove it jisung: how am i supposed to do that :( you: i'm sure you'll figure it out you: prove ur han jisung and i'll let u dick me down any time, any place :)
A giggle bursts forth from you and you take another sip from your wine.
jisung: bet
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When you wake up the next morning with a pounding headache, all thoughts of your conversation with the catfish from last night are gone.
The only thing on your mind is a hot meal to soothe your aching stomach and a few Tylenol to calm your raging migraine.
Which is why, when your phone lights up with a notification from Tinder halfway through your breakfast, you can't help but be confused.
You hardly remember re-downloading Tinder last night, and it takes a moment to recall what you had been doing.
When you open the conversation thread, however, it all comes flooding back to you.
jisung: good morning beautiful ;^) jisung: are the pics i posted on insta enough to prove to u that i am actually han jisung jisung: posted them just for u :D
Your head throbs and for a moment, the letters on your screen blur together. It takes you longer than necessary to read the messages, but when you do, you can't help but scoff.
you: has anyone told u that u text like an absolute fucking loser you: and how do those pics prove anything? you: they're just selfies you: literally nothing about them proves its u jisung: oh fuck ur so right jisung: i didn't even think of that jisung: so does this mean u don't believe me :( you: obviously ???
"What did your phone do to you?"
Across from you, your best friend Seungmin sits, chewing thoughtfully on his eggs.
"What do you mean?"
He raises a brow. "You're glaring at it like it personally offended you. So who's next on the hit list?"
"Ugh," you groan, rolling your eyes. "It's just some weirdo, no need to worry about it."
"Okay..."
Your catfisher doesn't respond, leaving you to enjoy your breakfast in peace. In broad daylight, entertaining some weirdo behind a fake profile seems even more stupid than it did last night. And yet, you can't find it in yourself to delete the app, or even unmatch with him.
Maybe it is because you want to see just how far he's willing to go to keep up this charade. Maybe it is because you want to believe that he is telling the truth, that it actually is the Han Jisung.
Most likely, though, it's probably because you're bored and like to fuck around with stupid men for the entertainment value.
The next message from him comes later that night.
jisung: alright jisung: what can i do to prove that i'm actually han jisung jisung: i've spent all day trying to figure it out but i can't
Your hangover has finally faded away, and Seungmin has just left you alone after badgering you all day to help him with his newest home renovation project.
you: awww is it too much for ur wittle brain to handle? you: if u can't even do this how do u expect to... what was it? you: "blow my back out"? jisung: babe, i don't need to be a genius to dick u down the way u deserve you: ... you: did u just indirectly imply that ur dumb? jisung: no jisung: ok maybe but i don't wanna talk abt it
You are getting ready for bed, cleansing your face and reading his messages in between your in depth skincare routine. Despite how absurd it all is, you can't deny that texting your catfisher is actually kind of funny. In fact, you can't remember the last time you had this much fun talking to someone from the godforsaken dating app.
Sure, from a logical perspective, everything about this interaction is a trainwreck. But it is also harmless and amusing, and more importantly, you don't owe whoever is on the other side of the screen anything.
jisung: back to the question at hand jisung: what can i do to prove to u i'm really han jisung jisung: just say the word and i'll do it you: and why exactly are u so interested in proving it to me? you: if u were really han jisung, wouldn't it be easier to move the fuck on to someone who actually believes u? jisung: yeah... jisung: but ur hot jisung: and i'm kinda into this push and pull thing jisung: ...and did i mention ur hot? you: ur so fucking weird jisung: thank you! :D you: NOT a compliment jisung: yes it is ;) jisung: sooo... help? you: nah you: u gotta work for it jisung: ur so evil... so hot but soooo evil....
When you go to bed, you dream of Han Jisung and catfishes and an evil red flame chasing you. And you are surprised to see a familiar message light up your home screen the next morning when you wake up.
You are even more surprised that your catfish continues to message you throughout the week. You figured that after a day or two, they would grow bored and give up. Instead, you find that whoever it is, they are very dedicated to proving themself as the Han Jisung.
Every day, your catfish has a new ploy of how to convince you of his real identity. And every day, you take delight in pointing out that the evidence he provides is circumstantial at best.
The thing that surprises you the most is that you continue to indulge him. Even if your catfish didn't grow bored of you, you figured eventually you would grow bored of him. Instead, you find yourself slowly becoming endeared to his strange habits and his quirky way of texting.
It gets to the point that even Seungmin notices.
"Are you seeing someone new?" He asks over dinner one day.
You scoff. "Um, no. What the hell?"
"My bad," he narrows his eyes at you. "You've just been smiling at your phone really weirdly lately."
It's because your catfish had just sent you the cutest cat video ever after you mentioned one time how you love cats. But you don't tell him that.
Instead, you say, "you think any time I smile, it's weird. Not very best friend material of you."
He clicks his tongue.
"Not my fault you look stupid when you smile."
Later that night, the message comes through right as you are about to fall asleep.
jisung: ok!!!!! i think i got it right this time!!! jisung: if i post a selfie in approximately five minutes of me in a white shirt will u believe i'm han jisung jisung: ok maybe ur asleep jisung: but i look really fucking good so i'm going to post it now jisung: but this is me going on the record, the selfie WILL be of han jisung (me) in a white t-shirt jisung: seeee!!!! i'm telling u BEFORE i post it!!! ahaahahaha jisung: aaaaand just posted :^)
To his credit, when you open Instagram, you do see a selfie uploaded only minutes before of Han Jisung in a white shirt. Just like he said. And yet...
you: nice try you: but again, doesn't really prove anything jisung: whaaaaat D: you: everyone knows jisung posts after every show you: u just got lucky with the timing today jisung: ughgghhhhhh jisung: okay fineeeee but what abt the shirt jisung: i told u the color of my shirt!!! you: i've already seen like twenty videos of him from the concert tn in that white shirt you: doesn't take a genius to figure it out jisung: noooooo jisung: i knew i should have changed shirts :(((( you: at least u got one thing right tn you: jisung rlly does look fucking hot in that pic
A smile threatens to break across your face as you scroll through your text chain. Then, you remember who exactly you are messaging (more importantly, that you have no idea who is on the other side of the screen) and your expression evens out.
You close your phone, putting it on silent, and then go to sleep before you can do something stupid, like continue the conversation further.
If you were able to look past the most glaring red flag of your catfish, aka the fact that they are a catfish, you would be able to admit that they actually have a few redeeming qualities. Funny, endearing, kind of a loser... In other words, exactly your type.
And worst of all, you find yourself almost wanting to believe that the person on the other side of the screen is the real Han Jisung.
In fact, you find yourself paying more attention to the rockstar than you normally would. You were a casual stan before, but something about your catfisher has you paying attention to every move he makes.
Like the one time you decided to tune into his Instagram live, you logged in to see Han Jisung wearing that same godforsaken white shirt, lounging in a chair and reading comments.
From a completely objective perspective, you could admit that Han Jisung is the ideal candidate to steal an identity from if one was catfishing. He's hot, he's popular, and there's just something a little endearing about the small curve of his lip when he smirks, or the way his eyes light up when he laughs.
"Has anyone ever told you that you look like a squirrel," Jisung reads aloud.
A silly smile stretches across his lips.
"Actually," he begins. "I have been told I look like a squirrel, ahaha. Funny you bring it up."
The comments light up at the bashful way he answers the question.
"Although," he continues, chewing on his lip as his smile becomes more secretive. "Recently, I've also been told I look a little like a hamster. Especially when I'm eating. Isn't that so funny?"
His words shoot right to your heart, and your skin lights on fire. What did he just say?
The words are familiar, so familiar that you have to pause and think about it. And then, you remember your conversation with your catfisher...
A few days ago, you had been talking about Han Jisung and a photo he had posted of him eating ramen way too fast. You had made the passing remark that he looks a little like a hamster, or a gerbil, especially when he makes that expression.
Your catfish had taken personal offense, of course, but you brushed him off as you always do.
Except now... Why is the real Han Jisung bringing it up?
It takes a few moments of panicked contemplation for you to realize that you are probably not the only one who made the comparison. In fact, when you furiously click back to the photo on his Instagram feed, you find that more than a few people have also commented saying the same thing.
Your heart calms as reality comes back to you, and you can't help but laugh a little. At least now your catfisher will have good ammunition when he comes to you later, no doubt with another ploy on how to convince you he is the real Han Jisung.
Only, over the next few days, you notice that he does not bring up the hamster comment at all.
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Disaster strikes again a few nights later. You have claimed the night as a self-care night because of the week you have had, and in your eyes, a self-care night means one thing: alcohol and trashy TV.
Tonight, your poison of choice is a spicy margarita. Well actually, a few of them.
Margaritas aren't your solo night drinks—Seungmin was supposed to come over and hang with you, but cancelled at the last minute like the bitch he is, leaving you with a few too many drinks that you might have made double, and the entire night to yourself.
The only issue is that tequila drunk you isn't regular drunk you. No, tequila has a way of bringing out your most base instincts, making you act out in the most inhumane way possible, leading you down a path of destruction. Tequila is inevitable.
In other words, tequila drunk you is horny drunk you.
Which is why you're surprised it takes you two whole hours before you pull out your phone and message your catfish boy.
you: u know you: u might not be the real han jisung you: but i gotta give it to u you: u really know how to curate a profile for the female gaze you: like damn you: u def picked the hottest pictures of him
The alcohol has already started to burn through your veins, casting a hazy sheen over your apartment, when your phone buzzes.
jisung: oh? jisung: do tell jisung: i soooo love compliments :) especially when they come from u ;) you: ur so fucking weird you: do u like get off on me describing what i find hot about another man jisung: maybe jisung: and ur the weird one??? jisung: u keep texting even tho u think i'm catfishing u (i'm NOT!!!) you: shut the fuck up jisung: yes mommy you: i'm going to kill u jisung: ok my bad!! anyways continue jisung: would love to hear abt what u think is hot abt me
You bite your lip, contemplating whether or not it is a good idea to continue the conversation. But you are also on the border between tipsy and drunk, and the insatiable need to be a fucking menace outweighs all logic.
you: perv you: u better not get off on this but like you: his hands are just... sooo sexy you: the callouses and the nail polish... mmm you: and his mouth. oh my god. you: u can just tell from the way that he sings he would be soooo good at eating u out. his mouth would feel like heaven fr jisung: mmhmm? you: that is just definitely a man who knows where the clit is you: GOD and his lips you: i bet making out w him is hot and messy and nasty oh my god jisung: wanna find out? you: shut up jisung: ok fineeee jisung: and what else
The unfiltered horny thoughts have been set free by the tequila, and you can't help the way your face flushes, the way your thighs clench together.
you: his face is so pretty you: i bet his dick is too jisung: fuck jisung: that's hot you: ? jisung: u describing all the things u find hot about me jisung: its hot you: ANYWAYS that's enough for tonight you: ur getting too delusional again
You take a long sip from your drink, hoping the coolness will calm the heat that is spreading through your body. It does, if only for a moment.
Then, you make the mistake of checking your phone one last time.
jisung: yeah baby, whatever helps u sleep at night jisung: just remember to think of my pretty dick when u fuck urself later tn jisung: and remember its your fault that all you have are ur fingers to help u
Your squirm where you are sat on the couch, a strange concoction of arousal and shame swirling in the pit of your stomach.
And when you do fuck yourself later that night, bringing yourself to two unsatisfying orgasms, you can't help but think that it really is no one's fault but your own.
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The next day, you decide enough is enough.
Entertaining your catfisher has gone on for much longer than you thought it would. In fact, you haven't had a serious conversation with anyone other than him since re-downloading Tinder, and frankly, it is has spiraled out of control.
You spend a few too many painstaking hours revamping your profile, choosing only the best (read: most slutty) photos you can find of yourself, and when you are finally satisfied, you put your phone down to yourself and swear that you won't answer him the next time he messages you.
Then he messages you and that all goes out the door.
jisung: holy shit jisung: did u just update ur profile you: yes? jisung: u look so fucking hot jisung: who are u updating ur profile for? you: tf do u mean jisung: i mean that picture is screaming fuck me jisung: who are u trying to convince? jisung: u don't have to try so hard babe, my offer still stands jisung: let me dick u down so good u delete this app you: :) jisung: don't send that stupid smiley face when you've spent the past two weeks fucking around w me jisung: if u were here w me rn we'd be able to kill two birds with one stone you: ? jisung: me proving i'm actually han jisung and u letting me blow ur back out you: idk you: u sure u got what it takes? jisung: babe jisung: i'd fuck u so good u wouldn't even know ur name after you: bold words for a man who hasn't even shown me his face jisung: god ur such a brat jisung: do u ever shut up? you: i'm sure you'd love to know jisung: yeah. you'd shut up if my dick was in ur mouth jisung: bet u like that huh? jisung: bet u just loooove when someone puts u in ur place jisung: that's why u act out so much isn't it you: the fuck is that supposed to mean jisung: that u need someone to fuck the attitude out of u jisung: but don't worry jisung: just say the word and i'll do it, free of charge you: as if jisung: there goes that mouth again jisung: it's hot when u talk back jisung: would be hotter if u were on ur knees being fucked so stupid u couldn't say anything at all. you: too bad you'll never get a chance to find out jisung: fuck u you: yeah i know, ur trying really hard jisung: god jisung: look we're having a show downtown this friday jisung: u should come so i can prove that i really am han jisung jisung: and then u can be a good little girl and come backstage so i can blow ur back out you: very presumptuous of u to assume i'd want to come jisung: you'll be begging me to come by the time i'm done with you jisung: see u friday :) u won't regret it you: you won't be seeing me because i'm not going :) better luck next time :)
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You, in fact, do end up going.
Not by choice, of course. You would like to point out that your unwillingness in attending the show is a very important distinction.
No, you end up getting dragged out of your apartment and to the bar where the concert is being held by none other than your best friend, Seungmin.
"Stop whining," he chides as you both get into the Uber.
"Seung," you pout. "I don't wanna go."
He rolls his eyes. "You're already dressed, and you like SKZ. What's the issue?"
You frown, fingering the material of your skirt.
"I just don't want to go," you grumble.
Maybe it is silly to be so insistent on not going just to prove a point to someone catfishing you on Tinder. Okay, scratch the maybe. But still, out of principle, you don't want to give him—whoever he is—the satisfaction.
"And why do you care so much about seeing them?" You ask. "Last I checked, you don't listen to SKZ."
Seungmin shrugs. "Hyunjin and I go back. Gotta support or whatever..."
You gape at him. Hyunjin, as in Hwang Hyunjin, as in the most popular member of SKZ?
"You're friends with Hyunjin and you never told me?"
You want to smack him over the head, especially when he shrugs his shoulders again.
"God, sometimes I can't stand you..."
The entire drive to the venue, the pout remains firmly in place. Seungmin doesn't seem bothered by your bratty attitude—but, then again, he never does.
When you arrive, he doesn't say anything as he drags you out of the car and then into the bar, all the way to the barricade. You aren't sure how he manages to do it, considering just how packed the venue already is, but you can't really say you're surprised.
After all, when Seungmin puts his mind to it, he can do anything.
The silver lining of it all is that he manages to swipe a drink from the bar before delving into the crowd. He shoves it into your hand, and when you take a sip from it, you find that the sharp burn of vodka soothes your irritation.
A feverish excitement floats through the air of the venue. The stage is already set up—the drum set towards the back, three mic stands staggered in the front, an amp off to the side.
You have never enjoyed concerts, but the atmosphere isn't the worst thing ever... In fact, there's something sensual about the dim lights and the anticipation.
"When is this going to start?" You whine to Seungmin.
He rolls his eyes. "Patience is a virtue, you know?"
"Not being a bitch to your best friend is also a virtue," you snark back.
The two of you bicker back and forth for the next few minutes, until Seungmin grows tired of it and simply stops replying to you.
Which, of course, doesn't do anything for your already irritated mood. No matter, though. You can find some other way to occupy yourself. Like...
jisung: how's the crowd? you: ? jisung: out in the audience jisung: u getting bored waiting for me? you: lol ur funny you: the only thing i'm waiting for is the takeout i ordered jisung: cmon babe ur breaking my heart jisung: can't u at least wish me good luck? you: break a leg! you: or maybe two :) jisung: would rather break ur bed ;) jisung: oh shit they're calling us on stage rn jisung: talk to u later ;)))
You scoff at his messages. It's still funny how dedicated he is to keeping the facade up, you can't help but think.
But before you have the chance to type a reply calling him out on it, the lights dim and the crowd goes wild. The air is practically thrumming with excitement, and you put your phone away.
A stream of white smoke billows onstage, and the strum of an opening chord sends shockwaves throughout the venue.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!" A voice announces from backstage. "So glad you could all make it!"
The screams grow deafening, and another chord is strung, echoing through the amp.
And then, right as the cheers hit their peak, the first member walks on stage.
His blue hair is shocking and his smile is bright as he waves out into the audience before taking his seat behind the drums.
"I love you Felix!" Someone screams from behind you.
Next, a young boy with a mischievous smirk—Jeongin, you recognize—runs on, giving Felix a high five on his way to the right side of the stage. Another deafening scream rises when he wraps his hand around the mic.
The screams only grow louder when Hyunjin walks on stage, running a hand through his hair as he goes. When he reaches the section of the audience that you and Seungmin are standing in, he looks down before blowing a kiss, one hand snug on the strap of his bass guitar.
Seungmin doesn't miss a beat before sticking his middle finger up at him, and Hyunjin laughs as he takes his position.
And then, the moment that you have been waiting for: Han Jisung, the real Han Jisung in the flesh, strides out on stage.
Your breath catches in your throat—you have always thought he was attractive. It would be a crime against humanity to not think such a gorgeous man was hot. But today... His hair is wavy and chocolate brown, his arms are covered with a large blazer, pins decorating the front, and his pants are so sinfully tight that you feel a blush rise to your face.
And as he walks straight to his position, front and center on the stage, you swear, it is like his eyes stay trained on you the entire way.
But it would be absurd to think that he's looking at you specifically, right? There's no way the real Han Jisung would. All this talk with your catfish must really be fucking with your head.
The opening note of the first song pierces the air right as Jisung takes his place, his fingers deftly strumming his electric guitar, and when he opens his mouth and begins to sing, you can't help but scream along with the rest of the crowd.
The rest of the concert passes in a frenetic, adrenaline obscured haze. The energy of the band and of the audience play off of each other, rising and swelling like a tide that you feel swept away by.
Even Seungmin—for someone who claims to only be here for his friend—seems to be caught up in the atmosphere as well.
And the entire time, you can't shake the feeling that Han Jisung is looking at you. Not towards you, not near you, but at you.
You know it is silly, but his gaze bores into you as he sings, while his fingers pluck the strings of his impressive guitar solo—even between songs when he bends down, close enough for you to see the fake freckles dotted across his face, and reaches for his water bottle.
It is almost a relief, then, when the band finally performs the last song of the set and regretfully takes their leave from the stage.
The lights in the club flicker back on and a sigh leaves your lips as the crowd slowly begins to stream out. You can't wait to get home and sleep—you are sweaty in places that you most definitely should not be, and it's not just because of the heat of the audience.
Except, when you go to leave, Seungmin wraps his finger around your wrist.
"What now?" You whine, your pout returning when you see the too-innocent smile on his face.
"We're going backstage," he tells you. "Just for a few. Hyunjin will kill me if I leave without saying hi to him."
"Oh my god," you breathe. "Noooo. I don't wanna."
"Stop being a brat," he chides.
Despite your protest, you don't hesitate to follow as he leads the way further into the bar, past the stage and through to the back.
Seungmin strolls into the dressing room with practiced ease, which makes you wonder how many shows, exactly, he's visited Hyunjin at.
"Seung!" Hyunjin exclaims, skipping towards him and wrapping his arms around his neck.
"Hyunjin," Seungmin sighs. He doesn't move to unwrap the other man's arms from his neck, though, which surprises you.
"Thanks for coming," he smiles so wide you think his face might break.
"And who's this?" He perks up, his eyes landing on you.
"Hm? Oh, that's my best friend," Seungmin says.
"Hi," you wave awkwardly.
"Hi!" Hyunjin smiles again.
"I'm Hyunjin, and this is Jisung," he motions to where the boy sits in a chair off to the side. Your lips part, surprised. He was so still that you hadn't even noticed him.
Jisung's eyes flit over you briefly and his lifts a hand in greeting, but doesn't say much more.
"Felix and Jeongin are around here somewhere," Hyunjin says, his attention focused again on Seungmin.
"They better be," Seungmin frowns. "Jeongin still owes me from last time."
"Wanna go find them?" Hyunjin asks. "I think they stepped out so Jeongin could flirt with the bartender."
"Hmm, do I want to go and embarrass Jeongin in front of someone he's interested in?" Seungmin pretends to think about it.
Hyunjin giggles, and before you have the opportunity to say anything, the two of them practically run out of the room, leaving you alone.
Scratch that, leaving you alone with Han Jisung.
Your chest flushes with anxiety at the sound of the door shutting behind them, and you stand still, frozen and unsure of what to do.
"So..." Jisung begins, breaking the awkward silence that settles over the two of you. "Did you enjoy the show?"
"Oh, yeah, you guys were really good," you nod.
"Thanks!" He says. "Glad you had fun."
"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," you continue. "N-Not that I thought you guys would be bad! Concerts just aren't really my thing. I actually only came because Seungmin dragged me along, so... yeah."
A grin stretches across his face. "You're cute."
Your face flushes.
"Um..."
"No need to look so flustered," Jisung continues. "You've said much worse to me before."
"What?" Your stomach turns in confusion.
"Oh, c'mon, Y/N." Jisung pouts. "We've been talking for weeks. Do you really not recognize me?"
"H-How do you know my name?"
A strange sense of panic wells up inside of you. You haven't told him your name yet, which means...
Jisung raises a brow. "Do you believe me now?"
You gasp.
"No way."
"Surprise?"
"No fucking way," you gasp again. "You're joking."
"I told you I was really Han Jisung." He pushes himself up from his chair, taking a step towards you. "You're the one who assumed I was a catfish."
You gape at him.
"Oh my god," you breathe out.
"I look better in person, don't I?" Jisung jokes.
"You're... real."
He nods. "Yup. I've only been telling you that for like, ever."
Jisung takes another step towards you. A thin sheen of sweat glazes over his face and his hair is plastered to his forehead. He has long since taken off the blazer he was wearing before, leaving him only in a white dress shirt and those stupid sexy black pants.
"Oh my god," you repeat, your face flushing when you think about all the horny things you said to him... about him.
"And you just let me say all that shit to you?" You gasp. "This is so embarrassing, oh my god, I'm so sorry—"
"I dunno," Jisung interrupts you. "It was kind of hot, hearing all the things you like about me."
You scoff even as your heart beats faster. "Praise kink much?"
"Yes," he nods, looking you straight in the eye.
There is something very attractive about the way he doesn't even try to deny it that sends heat flooding through your system.
"O-oh."
"So..." He takes another step towards you, and you take a step backwards. "You gonna make good on your promise?"
"What promise?"
You take another step backwards, only to find your back pressed against the door behind you.
"Hmmm, what was it again..."
A promising smirk dances across his lips as he pulls out his phone.
"'Prove you're Han Jisung and I'll let you dick me down any time, any place,'" he reads aloud.
"Oh my god."
"Is that all you know how to say?"
"Sorry, this is kind of a lot to process," you bite back.
"Is it?"
"If you were really Han Jisung this entire time," you pause. "Why didn't you try harder to prove it?"
He pouts. "I was trying hard."
You stare at him.
"You could have done so much more, like, I dunno, send me a picture of yourself?"
He pauses, as if the thought never occurred to him.
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh."
Jisung is so close that you can see the individual strands of hair swept across his face, you can see every ridge of his brow as it furrows. You can even see the moment that his expression shifts from vaguely contemplative to utterly smug.
"Well..." He begins. "Just for the record, you definitely look better in person."
"Thanks?"
"You're welcome," he flashes a dopey smile that is a stark juxtaposition to the predatory look in his eyes as he stares down at you, as if he wants to devour you whole.
You can't deny the way it sends a thrill down your spine. It is no secret between the two of you that you find him insanely attractive, and after seeing him perform—the confidence he has on stage, the utter skill it requires to put on a show that good—your attraction to him has only increased.
It is in the visceral way your body reacts to him, too. He hasn't even touched you, but you know that a hazy blush is painted across your cheeks, that your heart is beating a mile a minute, that your panties are undeniable damp by simply being in his presence.
Maybe that is why when his eyes flicker down to your lips and his breath fans against your face, you find yourself saying, "so? Are you gonna make good on your promise, or are you all talk?"
The way his gaze darkens at your words is equal parts terrifying and exhilarating, even as he takes one more impossible step forward, crowding you even further against the wall.
"Oh, this is going to be so much fun," he says, his hand reaching to grab your jaw and turn it towards him.
The front of his body molds against yours and your breath catches in your throat right as he presses his lips hard against yours.
The way Han Jisung kisses is the same way he performs—with everything he has in him. It is as messy and nasty as you had hoped, you think as he practically devours you.
There is a sense of urgency in the way his lips move against yours, parting slightly as he uses his tongue to coax a moan out of you. He licks into you, panting as he practically fucks your mouth with his.
The kiss is desperate and sloppy and so hot that you can't help the way your thighs clench. All you can think about is if he eats pussy the same way he makes out, which in turn only makes you even hornier.
His hands skim down your body, resting at your hips as he pushes one leg in between yours.
"Good, right?" He asks when he pulls away from your lips, moving to suckle at the sweet spot in the juncture of your jaw and your neck.
"Hmm, yeah," you say breathily, your eyes sliding shut as pleasure courses through you.
Jisung bites down, eliciting a yelp that fades into a moan when he uses his tongue to lave over the sensitive skin.
"God," he pants, rutting his hips against you. "You've been so mean to me these past few weeks, hmm?"
"N-No I haven't," you deny.
"Really? Then what do you call the way you've been texting me? You were stringing me along and having a lot of fun with it too, hmm?"
"Nope," you shake your head and he moves his leg against you. The pressure is delicious and it has you biting back a whimper. "Not my fault you couldn't figure out a way to prove to me you were real."
At your words, Jisung pulls away from you completely, faux disappointment stretched across his face.
"There you go, being mean again."
His pout is deceiving and you struggle to catch your breath, practically squirming under his gaze.
"But it's okay," he sighs. "I guess I'll just have to show you how mean you've been."
Jisung takes a step back, leaving you reeling from the lack of sensation. Your hand grips the door frame behind you and your face scrunches up into something that resembles a pout.
You watch, confused, as he walks over to the vanity and motions to the chair in front of it.
"Come take a seat."
You take a steeling breath, not sure of what exactly he is going to do next. He cocks an eyebrow at you when you don't move, which spurs you into action.
Awkwardly, you clamber into the chair, crossing your legs timidly as he stares you down.
Your breath then catches in your throat when he kneels before you, gently prying your legs apart.
"What was it you said about my mouth?" He muses, looking up at your through his thick eyelashes. "That it must feel like heaven, right?"
Your lips part, only a puff of hot air escaping them as you try to remember what he is referring to.
"I'm going to eat you out now," he tells you. "Is that okay?"
"U-um" you stutter. "What if—what if s-someone walks in?"
"I locked the door," he tells you. "So... Yes?"
Your eyes drift over to the door, where you see the lock is turned. You inhale slowly. Then, you nod.
"Yeah..."
His hands move from your knees up your thighs and to the hem of your skirt.
"This skirt is so sexy on you," he says. "It's what you're wearing in that picture you added to your profile, right?"
You nod quickly, your eyes focused on the way he pushes it up to reveal the black panties you're wearing underneath.
"God, you're so wet," he notes as he stares at you, and you can't help but feel nervous under his calculating gaze.
He lifts a thumb to your covered core, running it lightly against the fabric of your underwear, and your breath hitches. The sensation is light, barely a ghost of a touch, and yet it feels both too much and not enough.
Jisung looks up at you, a small smirk stretched across his lips, and he repeats the motion with a little bit more pressure. You inhale sharper, and he continues the pattern, pressing down a little bit harder each time until you are whimpering under his touch.
"You were playing so hard to get, but look at you now," he sighs. "I've barely even touched you and you're already whining for me."
You suck your bottom lip between your teeth, trying desperately to control the sounds coming out of you.
Then, Jisung moves his thumb off of you completely, using both his hands to push your thighs apart further. You watch as he leans down, nosing your panties, and then laps at your clothed core.
"Mmm," he sighs. His fingers hook through the waistband of your underwear and you lift your hips up to help him pull them off completely.
Jisung has barely thrown them to the side before he is on you again, using one hand to pin your hips down while the other spreads your legs open.
The first touch of his lips on you has you choking on a moan. He presses a light kiss against your folds, smiling slightly when you squirm underneath him.
"Please," you pant when he continues the chaste kisses. "More—"
He moans against you as your wrap your fingers in his hair, urging him forward, and it seems that is enough to encourage him.
His tongue licks a long, wet stripe before pushing into you, moving against you in a way that has you letting out a string of breathy moans. You were right—he eats you out the same way he kissed you: wet and messy, with his entire tongue.
It almost seems like he is eating you out for his own pleasure rather than yours; his mouth remains everywhere but your clit, sending shockwaves through your system while also leaving you desperate for more. The few stray bumps of your clit with his nose have you jolting under him, but you are pressed firmly in place by his hand against your hips.
"O-Oh," you moan, your eyelids sliding shut.
His tongue pulls away, giving him enough room to hook one finger up inside of you. The sensation has you whimpering under him, immediately clenching down.
"You're so tight," he groans pushing the finger in and out of you slowly.
"Feels good," you whimper, looking down at him through lidded eyes. He looks so hot like this, his mouth wet and his lips swollen, his eyes blown out.
A moan gets caught in the back of his throat and then his mouth is on you again, moving fast and sloppy against you. The sound of it fills the dressing room and your grip on his hair tightens.
You pull when his nose presses hard against your clit, which only causes him to moan again and move even faster against you.
And then, his mouth moves from your hole up to your clit. You almost sob when his lips wrap around your clit, sucking harshly. Two of his fingers push into you again, rubbing upwards at your g-spot.
In turn, your fingers tighten even more in his hair, and you aren't sure whether to pull him away or push him down further on you.
A moan builds up in your chest and your eyes screw shut.
"Oh my god, oh, I'm going to—I'm almost—"
The sensation of your orgasm builds in the pit of your stomach, sending flashes of heat through your core. Only, right when you are about to topple over the precipice, Jisung pulls away completely.
"What—please—" You whine at the loss, clenching down on nothing as he simple watches. "I was so close."
Tears brim your eyes as your chest heaves, and a smirk plays across Jisung's wet lips.
"But why should I let you come?"
"You're being mean," you practically whine, feeling empty and strung out.
"Just giving you a taste of your own medicine," Jisung teases.
"Please," you whisper again, lookin up at him with desperation on your face.
"Hmmm... I think I'd rather you come around my cock instead," he says. "I am supposed to blow your back out, remember?"
You struggle to get your breathing under control as you watch him push himself off of his knees.
"Up," he motions. "I want you to watch while I fuck you stupid."
You scramble from your position in the chair, your legs almost giving out as you push yourself onto your feet.
"Bend over," Jisung says. His eyes are on the vanity, and you are so desperate to come that you don't hesitate in pressing your chest down on the counter, rolling your skirt up as high as it goes before jutting your ass out in his direction.
You watch through the mirror as he unbuckles his pants pushing them down only far enough for him to pull his dick out. From this angle, you can't see much, obscured by your body, but you notice the way he wraps his hand around the base as he pulls out a condom.
You almost whimper when he rips the foil open with his teeth, and you clench around nothing at the sharp inhale he takes when he rolls the condom onto his length.
"You ready?" Jisung asks then, one hand wrapping around your hip.
You nod quickly, desperately. His face is flushed and his dick is hard when he presses it against your back. The feeling of him, hot and heavy, only makes you wriggle your hips towards him.
He clicks his tongue at you, a firm hand pressing against your ass.
"Please," you breathe. "Want to feel you."
"So impatient," he rolls his eyes, but you don't miss the hunger in his gaze as he stares down at you.
Then, before you can complain more, the head of his cock is at your entrance. He pushes it slowly into you, groaning at the feeling as you suck him in.
You both exhale when he is all the way in, his tip kissing your cervix.
"You're so big," you whimper, and he lets out a small groan at your words.
"Fuck, you feel so good," Jisung pants as he pulls out slowly, moving his hips in small and shallow strokes. "So hot and wet and tight."
"Faster," you whine, moving your hips back in an attempt to feel his dick deeper. "Please, I need more."
You crane your neck to look at him, and the hand on your hips moves to push your head forward, pressing your cheek down against the vanity.
"Watch yourself," Jisung pants, rutting his hips faster. "Watch as I fuck you stupid."
Your eyes glance up and you see your expression: eyes glazed over, face flushed, mouth parted. You look the picture of debauchery, thoroughly and completely fucked out. And behind you, Jisung looks just as far gone.
His face is screwed up in pleasure and his bottom lip is caught between his teeth
"Oh my god," you pant, your orgasm building again inside of you. "You feel so good inside of me, Jisung, oh my god. Your dick is so perfect, filling me up, holy shit."
You words pull a whimper from his mouth and his hips stutter. You swear you can feel his dick twitch inside of you, and then he pulls out completely, his hand wrapping tightly around the base of his dick.
"What the fuck," he whines, panting heavily.
"Why—" you begin again, pushing yourself up.
Then, your eyes land on his face, where his brows are furrowed, his face is drawn taut, his eyes are squeezed shut as he tries to even out his breathing, and it dawns on you.
"Oh," you breathe, a small smirk stretching across your face.
You push yourself up from the vanity and turn around to face him.
"What's wrong, Jisung?" You ask, feigning worry.
"N-Nothing," he breathes. "Just give me a second."
"Why?" You lean in close, placing your hand on his shoulder and pushing yourself up near his ear.
"Scared you're going to come too fast?"
"N-No!" He insists, his wide eyes opening to look at you.
"Did you like me telling you how good you feel inside of me?" You ask, stepping closer to him.
He shakes his head but his eyes dart downward, unable to meet your gaze.
"I think you did," you whisper. "I think you loved hearing how amazing your pretty dick felt inside of me. I think you loved hearing how perfectly you fill me up, how amazing you were making me feel. Hmm?"
A choked whimper falls from his lips, and when you push lightly on his chest, he all but collapses into the chair behind him.
"So, Jisungie," you drawl, perching yourself onto the vanity he had just been fucking you into. "Are you going to be a good boy and fuck me the way you promised?"
He looks up at you, panting, and nods quickly.
You spread your legs. "Then come and fuck me."
Jisung practically leaps from the chair in his rush to get to you, and then his lips are on yours, pressing insistently against them as he moans into your mouth.
Below, he rubs his cock against your folds, and you clench around nothing.
"Hurry up," you chide, and he whimpers before pushing into you. The stretch has you moaning around him, and the sound only spurs him on.
The way he was fucking you before pales in comparison to the way his hips move now, rolling desperately into you. Somehow, he feels even harder inside of you, and you wrap your legs around him, hooking your ankles together so that he can hit even deeper inside of you.
"Oh, just like that," you moan. "You're doing so good for me, god, you feel perfect inside, hitting so deep, fucking me so good."
The words are partly because you can't hold it in, but mostly because you are hoping it will drive him wild.
His mouth falls open as a string of moans, each one louder than the previous, escape his lips. He sounds sexy and the noises go straight to your core.
Jisung whines when you clench down on him, and his furious pace only increases, to the point where his thrusts are so shallow each one brushes deliciously against your g-spot.
"You're so-oh, s-so loud," you pant. "So desperate, hmm?"
He nods.
"You feel so good," he whines. "A-Am I making you feel good?"
"Yes," you moan. "But you're being too loud. What if someone catches us?"
His lips clamp shut, and to his credit, he does try to hold in his noises. But when you clench down on him again, this time intentionally, he can't help the whimper that slips past.
"Too loud, Jisung," you chide. Your hand lifts to cup his jaw, and he leans into your touch.
"Open," you instruct, and a satisfied smile stretches across your lips.
You push two of your fingers into his mouth and his lips wrap around them immediately, his eyes darkening.
"That's better."
The effect is instantaneous: his hips stutter as he continues to thrust into you, and he sucks gently on your fingers, moaning around them. His tongue is soft as it swirls around the digits in his mouth, and his face flushes further.
"So good," you coo. "Are you going to come for me?"
He nods.
"Good boy," you say. "Come for me, Jisungie, hmm?"
His moans devolve into sharp whines, and then with one final thrust, he comes. You roll your hips downwards, meeting his jerky thrusts as he fucks you through his orgasm, before he finally stills inside of you and releases your fingers with a pop.
"Did I say you could stop?" You ask as his face falls into your neck.
"W-What?" Jisung pants his breath still uneven as he comes down from his high.
You raise a brow. "You didn't make me come. So why are you stopping?"
"B-But—"
"Unless you don't want to be good for me," you sigh, making a move to pull away from him.
"No!" Jisung insists. "Wait, I-I can do it. Please?"
His dick hasn't softened yet, but you know it must be oversensitive from the way he winces. Still, he pushes further inside of you without another word.
Jisung moves much slower now, cringing as both pain and pleasure run through him. However, at this new pace, he is able to reach deeper inside of you, and it feels just as good—if not better.
"Yeah," you moan, "just like that."
You have been amped up ever since he denied your orgasm earlier, and it doesn't take much to bring you close to the edge.
"I-I'm almost there," you pant, clinging onto Jisung's shoulders as he whines into your neck. "J-Just a little bit more, please, so close—"
His fingers reach down in between your bodies and rub against your clit, hands jerky and uncoordinated and yet somehow just enough to bring you right to your orgasm.
With a choked moan, he pushes you over the edge, coaxing you through your orgasm with his thumb on your clit and his lips pressed against your neck.
It is only once you have finally come down that Jisung shakily pulls out, peeling the condom off and discarding it in the trash. You watch, breathless, as he tucks his softening dick away and pulls his pants up, before picking your discarded panties up.
You think he is going to hand them to you, but instead, he bends down and slides your feet through the holes, helping you put them back on. It is rather endearing, the way he helps you stand up and smoothes your skirt down, before grabbing a water bottle and handing it to you.
"So..." He begins bashfully. "Was that, uh, okay?"
"Okay?" You ask, handing the water bottle back to him after you take a sip. "Uh, I can't remember the last time I was fucked that good."
"Really?" The shy look on his face has you biting back a smile.
"God," you sigh, flopping down onto the chair in front of you. "If you weren't such a loser, we could have been doing this ages ago."
"Um, no," he denies. "If you weren't so stubborn."
"Really? You're going to argue with me when you're the one who couldn't figure out a way to prove you weren't a catfish?"
"I mean, when you put it that way..."
"Also," you pause. "Has anyone told you that you text like an absolutely douche?"
"Well..." You raise a brow and he giggles, running a sheepish hand through his hair.
"Right," you click your tongue. "It was me."
"So, um, anyways..." Jisung begins, fidgeting with his fingers. "Now that I've blown your back out, or whatever and you believe that I'm actually Han Jisung... D'you think I'd be able to, I dunno, take you on a date or something?"
"Hmm..." You pause, pretending to think. "Only if we can do that again."
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if you enjoyed, please don't forget to reblog and leave your feedback/opinions! tysm for reading <3
4K notes · View notes
maplesyrupsainz · 17 days
Text
˖⁺。˚⋆˙everyone knows | CS55˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: carlos sainz x ferrari admin!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship
warnings: none just fluff as usual!
summary: in which your boyfriend moves teams but that doesn't stop you from simping in the comments
a/n: i jus put carlos in red bull!!! & used random pics from old era tbh so kind of disregard tht lolz
request!!!: after Carlos moves to a new team , reader who still works for Ferrari now simps over Carlos in the comments in Carlos' new team post's (like.. the one on the left is a hottie) with Ferraris account too lol
prequel
my masterlist
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twitter ->
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instagram ->
yourusername 📍 abu dhabi
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liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 481,263 others
yourusername his last race in ferrari ❤️
view all 13,092 comments
user4 dont remind me
user5 our fav couple forced to work apart how could they do this 💔💔💔
liked by yourusername
user6 WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
carlossainz55 had the best season with you ❤️
yourusername love you
carlossainz55 i love you forever
user7 some of u acting like they breaking up LOL
user8 tbh im excited to see carlos at red bull next season 🤷‍♀️
user9 me too!!!
user10 forza ferrari 💔💔
scuderiaferrari 📍 bahrain
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liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, and 883,137 others
scuderiaferrari finally here for the start of the 2025 season how are we all feeling? 👀
tagged: charles_leclerc, lewishamilton
view all 17,162 comments
user11 lewis in red 🫨
user12 still not used to seeing carlos NOT in ferrari red
user13 we miss him.....
user14 everyone shutup and appreciate lewis lol
user15 how are WE feeling??! how are YOU feeling girl!!!
user16 ferrari admin found crying
carlossainz55 📍 bahrain
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liked by scuderiaferrari, yourusername, and 780,124 others
carlossainz55 life in navy blue
view all 12,341 comments
user17 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
user18 so proud of u carlos
user19 i luv him and y/n sm
scuderiaferrari woof woof woof
carlossainz55 hi ferrari.
scuderiaferrari heyyy hahahhh soo.....u single?
carlossainz55 😀 urm.
user20 she is so weird im obsessed with it
maxverstappen1 glad to have you back 🙂
carlossainz55 glad to be back!!
redbullracing 💙💙
liked by carlossainz55
redbullracing 📍 jeddah
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, and 834,988 others
redbullracing race weekend!!
tagged: maxverstappen1, carlossainz55
view all 9,136 comments
user21 love seeing them back racing together
user22 💙💙💙💙💙💙
user23 waiting for a y/n comment tbh
user24 my fav duo
maxverstappen1 💙
kellypiquet 💙
scuderiaferrari omg who is that in the second pic???? sooo hot is he single??
user25 😂😂😂😂😂
redbullracing our new rookie driver🥹
scuderiaferrari no way...he looks familiar though?
carlossainz55 it's me, hi
charles_leclerc ferrari admin please refrain from simping for other team's drivers
scuderiaferrari ferrari admin plz stop simping😂😂😂 shut up nerd
user26 omg i just screamed my head off hahaha
twitter ->
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messages ->
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twitter ->
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instagram ->
yourusername
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liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, and 532,711 others
yourusername little race dump
view all 7,293 comments
user30 is that her & carlos omg 😭
user31 realest girl ever
user32 my fav simpee
user33 does she ever go in the rb garage for carlos or wear their merch 🤔
kellypiquet 💙💙
liked by yourusername
user34 they're friends?
user35 she's so normal on this account
user36 she lets her feral side out on ferrari account 😭
carlossainz55 gorgeous girl
yourusername no u
carlossainz55 true i am a gorgeous girl
redbullracing 📍 australia
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liked by scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55, and 891,367 others
redbullracing another great weekend!
tagged: carlossainz55, maxverstappen1
view all 10,718 comments
user37 my fav team
user38 oh hi charles in the back
user39 y/n using charles as an excuse to comment when?
user40 legendaryyy
scuderiaferrari so proud of our boy!!! 🫶
redbullracing we're looking after him dont worry
scuderiaferrari 🥹🥹🥹
user41 omg this is surprisingly wholesome
user42 i love ferrari admin she just wants carlos to be happy wherever he is
user43 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
carlossainz55 posted a story
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 423,728 others
user44 AWWWWW STOP IT
user45 omg i just screamed
user46 i LOVE her
charles_leclerc she's a real one
pierregasly everyone's fav red bull fan in red clothing
landonorris awww look at everyone's fav f1 team social media admin xx
yourusername .......ur lucky i love you
THE END ❤️💙
1K notes · View notes
yeetskeetstreet · 29 days
Text
Changing Perspectives
MV1 - Max Verstappen
max verstappen x reader
summary: in which it takes 7 instagrams posts from his long term partner to completely change the perspective of the reigning WDC. also known as the events of June 22.
the posts have rough dates, but in case I mess it up, it would be like scrolling down someone’s timeline, so post 1 occurs latest in terms of choroloigcal order, and 7 is the oldest post.
——————————————————————————
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When your account is public, your profile and posts can be seen by anyone, on or off instagram, even if they don’t have an instagram account.
Switch to public account?
YES/NO
instagram post 1
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y/n.jpg33: setting our forever into stone forever. the love i have for you grows stronger everyday. 🤍
tagged: maxverstappen1
comments:
maxverstappen1: wouldn’t want you anywhere else but right by my side. 🤍
danielricciardo: congratulations, guys! wishing you all the best!
landonorris: ENGAGED? CONGRATS GUYS!
christianhorner: Congratulations, Y/N and Max. Wishing you guys all the happiness offered in this new chapter.
comments on this post have been limited.
instagram post 2
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y/n.jpg33 - him 🤍
tagged: maxverstappen1
5 days ago • monaco, monaco
comments:
user: brb gonna go take a nap on a highway
user: damn.. twitter wasn’t lying
maxverstappen1: you 💛
y/n.jpg3: come home please
danielriccardo: about damn time.
instagram post 3
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y/n.jpg33 - ok, fine. you deserve your own post. you’ve come leaps and bounds, keep it up. thank you for keeping my boy company when i can’t be there. continue to carve your way into history. 🧡
tagged: landonorris, maxverstappen1
comments:
landonorris: thank you y/n, to both you and max, for everything you have done for me. 🧡
| maxverstappen1: of course, mate. anytime.
instagram post 4
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y/n.jpg33 - another to add to the collection. proud of you bub 💛
(thanks for the second landonorris)
tagged: maxverstappen1
29 March 2022 • jeddah, saudi arabia
comments:
maxverstappen1: all for you, my love. 🤍 • pinned
user: wish i had this
landonorris: soo… how many races do i have to win to get a cute post?
y/n.jpg33: win a WDC and i will
user: NOT MAX SCOLDING DANIEL LOL
danielricciardo: where’s my congratulations post?
maxverstappen1: you don’t get one. just for me. get your own
y/n.jpg33: max, don’t be mean. danny, one day, i promise :).
instagram post 5
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y/n.jpg33 - holiday time with the family
3rd January 2022 • home
instagram post 6
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y/n.jpg33 - happy birthday charles! thanks for always helping me fine my way when i’m lost at the paddock. max and i appreciate you!
tagged: charlesleclerc
16 October 2021 • monaco, monaco
comments:
charlesleclerc: thank you y/n! happy to help out whenever i can. see you and max soon.
maxverstappen1: happy birthday man!
y/n.jpg33: looking forward to it!
landonorris: HE GETS A POST? BEFORE ME? BUT BUT
y/n.jpg33: he comes to find me when i’m lost. you sent me a meme.
instagram post 7
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y/n.jpg33: you never cease to amaze me, baby. continue to prove them wrong, prove to everyone you deserve all you have worked for.
keep proving to yourself that you are enough, and worth the fight. i love you, max. 🤍
tagged: maxverstappen1
______________
my first ever F1 piece, (and my second piece ever!!) let me know what you think :)
1K notes · View notes
saturniolos · 2 months
Text
besties (matt sturniolo x reader) ౨ৎ⋆ ˚。⋆
notes: this took me days. i am going BLIND plz show sum love &&&&& hey——— come talk to me ! (btw this type of editing/social media aus have been around for ages- credit goes to the person who came up with it first!!)
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yourusername
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liked by matthew.sturniolo and others
yourusername happy 20th my boys. thank u for driving me around and feeding me and being the greatest airbnb hosts when i be acting up … 🦌🦌🦌🤍 love you always.
View all 2,304 comments
christophersturniolo love you freak
sturniolohens their friendship >>
nicksfries i love them
mattsturns cant wait for the ship tiktoks 😩
sturniolotrippies THE MATCHING TSHIRTS WITH MATT ARE YOU KIDDING US Y/N
yourusername i be getting that bag anything for my dawgs
christophersturniolo @yourusername where’s the one of you were wearing my boxers
nicolassturniolo HELL NAH
matthew.sturniolo 🩷🏇🏻
sturnsfilm the pink heart are you jokingjfjfjfjjff 😔😔😔
mattsplaylist PINK HEART 😩
mattsturniyolo THE HORSE???
chrisraress i feel like they’re all best friends but matt and y/n have a different kinda friendship its so pure 🤍
hoeslovesturniolos the last slide lmfao TRUE they saved my life
mattscarkeys matt girls were winning look at that stubble
nicolassturniolo love you alwayssss 🧚‍♀️💛💚🧡❤️🩷
yourusername guys stop thirsting this is a thirst free account!
madisonbeer sweetest 🤍🎧🌷🪩🦩
nathandoe8 yndawg my birthday’s coming up 👌🏼
yourusername when
nathandoe8 😐
madifilipowicz marry me y/n 🍬🍬🍬
yourusername WHEN!
nicolassturniolo @matthew.sturniolo
yourusername @nicolassturniolo girl gtfo!!!! 😡
mattsbelly YO WHAT??? WHY THE MATT TAG
ynsnosepiercing WHAT DID WE MISS
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yourusername
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liked by nicolassturniolo and others
yourusername i lvoe crazy bitchsees 😍⏰🪩🐎🦋 !!!◡̈!! guys i went skiing for the first time as well- can u tell :-)))…
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madifilipowicz ur soooo 🥹🥹🥹🦩🩷🦋🍬🍬🍩🌈
yourusername 🪐🩷 love ya forever !
mattscarkeys shy introverted and weird….. someone’s cookin’
sammydawson let them cook bae
chrissassturniolo yk who’s shy and introverted and weird?
gimmemystaaaaff DONT SAY IT she’ll block us atp 😂
nicolassturniolo my gawwwwd 🦋🦋🦋
larray okay i see you 😍
matthew.sturniolo Can I borrow the green shoes
yourusername yas darling x
matthew.sturniolo 🤭
ynslipgloss DARLING !!!
christophersturniolo mona lisa ohhh
yourusername yeahhh the mona lisa ayyyyyy
mattlovebot ur hand in marriage @yourusername
leclercftsturn is this matt’s burner account?? lol
megamatthew44 tears on my thighs frrrr
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matthew.sturniolo
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liked by yourusername and others
matthew.sturniolo Huge toothpick fan
View all 6,383 comments
christophersturniolo 👊🏻😊
nathandoe8 clean
mattstoothpick MAAAAATTTTTT 😍😍😍😍
nicksdirtysocks GOD ITS ME AGAINNNNN
sturniyoolo babygirl matt is back 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
nicolassturniolo cutie
yourusername on gawd babygirl ☺️🤍🐎🩷
matthew.sturniolo 🩹🤍🐎
chrislovebot he was a horseboi, she was a horsegurl ☺️
nicolassssssturn ON GAWD BABYGIRL 😂😂
mattsturny you guys are sickeningly cute n lovely
larray walk that walk ❗️
yourusername would definitely
nicsturniolos Y/N WHAT
latinamatt FINISH THE SENTENCE BESTIE!!!!!!!!????
gayhorsegirl Y/N 🤭🤭🤭🤭🙃 wtf
beerpongchris y/n’s intrusive thoughts winning again
ynseeyore girl 🌝
nicolassturniolo @yourusername …let’s get you to bed grandma 🙂
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yourusername
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liked by matthew.sturniolo and others
yourusername new year new me xo
View all 7,539 comments
nicolassturniolo it’s February
yourusername go be a hater somewhere else
madisonbeer im in love with u 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🐑
mattlovebot MY WIFEEEEEEE
christophersturndaily HER
ynskitten drive thru with that dress hits hard
matthew.sturniolo Down bad for you girl grrr
yourusername disgusting behaviour leave :O
gamermattsgf AWWWW SHUT THE FUCK UP
ynmattsupremacy IS IT HAPPENING
ynsparkour EVERYONE STAY CALM !!!!!!
christophersturniolo y/n, don't listen to the haters. I love you, and you love me. We do not owe anyone anything. Our family is who matters. If you get likes and good comments great, if you get hate then whatever because THEY DON'T MATTER. I love you💕
yourusername 😳 bye
matthew.sturniolo What family are you talking about bro
ynslovebot chris so unserious byeeee 🤣
nickstrniolo matt has no clue about the reference i love this
matthew.sturniolo ❤️❤️🐎🐎🦩🌠🌷🌍🌍🌍
gracewee bro keysmashing
mattscup calm down my dude 😳
sturnioloteam matt we get it and we agree
thesturnioloos someone said matt’s fighting for his dear life in the comments section and i can’t stop laughing xjxjjdjxhdhshsydhdysytssg
matthew.sturniolo I love you 🤟🏼
1K notes · View notes