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#for real though I want to know
lunataurora · a day ago
i hate posting art on insta so much. its like every few days i decide to quit making art completely
#the community on there is just so obsessed with optimization that i never feel happy with my art even if i did before posting it#i draw for ME!! and for FUN!! i hate that im terrified of my fellow artists on that site#just the layout feels so.... business focused. i hate it i hate it dearly.#and i cant just leave!!! cuz i just want to make connections with ppl who like the things i like and what i make#and tumblr is actually toxic slutch like i dont have a single friend that can understand how to use this site... they all prefer insta..#like. i consider my mutuals here my friends!! its just the ppl that im the closest with arent on tumby.. or they barely respond on tumby....#legit i just dont want to draw anymore i dont i dont!! my friend keeps asking me to draw them and i do!!! each time!!! i know they#appreciate it but aaaaaa!!!!! im so bad at interpreting real people i barely get to see!!! and then they send me art and ask for me to draw#like that style and its a super smooth chibi style like???????? i cant draw smooth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my art is sketchy and not suited for what#youre after!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#....... I'll still try though. I'll always try. its not like im being paid for this. tho i never like getting paid for my art either.#its something i do for fun.... but i feel like im being used at this point. I'll make them one last icon but. after all this shit ive made#for them.... even beyond just drawings and icons... i think im done#art is hard work. and this is so constant#I'll draw the next time i feel able to. lets see if they give up or get mad at me. bc god i just got over my days long eyestrain headache#from the last times i drew digitally. one of those was their new icon. i just need rest#sorry thats. a very long vent#gross posts
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thetreeturnedoff · 2 days ago
in 7th grade i started trying to learn korean, decided it was too hard, and gave it up in favor of spanish (for good reason, i'm hispanic and wanted to be able to communicate with my grandfather and his side of the family) but now here i am again trying to learn it
i'm saying this cause i forgot how frustrating 에 and 애, and 외, 의, and 위 are and it's pissing me off
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clumsyclifford · 5 days ago
hello my darling bella! i haven't send you an essay in a while so. hi 😌
firstly i have a book rec which i know doesn't make too much sense but just in case you find yourself needing a book i think you would really enjoy loveless and/or radio silence but alice oseman. both very much have a vibe of friendship is romance (or at least both are very focused on friendship) and that reminded me of you!
i also meant to ask if you watched falcon and the winter soldier yet? since all the eps are out?
have you ever listened to achilles come down? it's the current most likely candidate to become my most listened to song this year
how's the baseball season going? i only ever see bits of what you say in the club and it makes no sense to me so i thought i'd ask 🙈
ooh also i had a very interesting experience recently: was driving home and someone cut me off in a very shitty way and i honked at them. bc i am Me that was the first time in nearly 3 years of driving that i used the horn. so that was fun i'm very proud of it 😌
okii rambling time is over i love you!! -fiancee
hello my darling fiancee!!!
you know i have heard about alice oseman but i’ve never looked up these books. loveless really does look up my alley tbh i’m down to read that i love a friendship book esp if it’s also queer thank u for the rec
 ahahaah no i have not in fact watched it i have no excuse for why not. maybe later this week when i need a procrastination tactic i’ll put it on. i did finish watching new girl so now i have nothing to watch but then again i have been re-listening to the adventure zone which is Kind Of a thing, BUT that’s not a show i can watch so i am still seeking one of those. the only thing is tfatws is the kind of show i would have to like pay attention to and get invested in. usually i watch a sitcom so i can just like spend an easy ten or twenty minutes having a laugh. anyway point being i haven’t watched it, i know i should, i’ll get around to it eventually...probably
yeah i’ve heard it once or twice! it’s a good song idk it’s nothing special to me personally but i like it, i know a lot of people really like it, i know ainslee’s been listening to it a lot. very exciting for you though i love that for you it’s so nice finding a song like that
ahhh baseball season ! well. it is going. it is definitely going. at the current moment my team(s) are not uhhh. they aren’t THRIVING. nats played their (my) archnemesis team the ph*llies yesterday and the ph*llies won which was a real blow to my self-esteem but we’re playing them again today and i have all my fingers crossed i absolutely refuse to lose to that fucking blood traitor br*ce h*rper again i will rage. and today the mets beat the orioles SEVEN to one which is just tragic. to be fair though the orioles are not like a super good team and they’re also not My team the way the nats are but like, still a bummer, nobody wants to lose to the mets. bc like fuck the mets. real talk tho if the nats lose to the phillies again i will just die
hot damn!!!!!!! first time for everything!!!!! i love that for you lol i’ve used the horn a couple times it’s not my favorite but sometimes you just gotta. proud of you for sticking up for yourself and your car god i miss driving
thank u for the essay i have missed receiving them!!! love youuuu
#fiancee anon#REAL talk fiancee i am doing FUCKING fantastically#there are PLANS they are in MOTION#well. theyre not really in motion yet but they are PLANS#i guess they're kind of in motion in the sense that Tickets have been Purchased#sam is insane#it's gonna be a party this summer#in a realer sense though i am also stressed as hell#i have my stats final on tuesday but then my jewish activism final paper is due on thursday#and i am very very stressed about the stats final#and predict that i WILL have a crisis slash panic attack the way i had for the last one#fuck i never actually finished watching those lectures FUCK#ahem. anyway point being#i can't let the stats final stress overtake me because i NEED to start this paper before then#i can't write the whole thing in two days like i shoudlnt i dont want to#its a long paper and i dont wanna stress myself out like that#but also i dont know if ill be able to concentrate on trying to write the paper with all the stats final stress#i dont knowif im explainng this well#but basically maybe i am incapable of being extremely stressed about more than one thing at a time#it's one thing or NO things. i am just going to shut down#so like i'm doing better than ever but also so bad. SO bad#lmaoooooooo#BUT!!!!! happy news tonight i am going to applebees w friends to celebrate one of my friends finishing her thingy#idk some honors....something.....she wrote a play#but i am VERY excited for applebees because.......non-campus food...............#lava cake my beloved mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm#anonymous#ask#answered
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#im tired#not in a way that i can just go to sleep .though#i dont know if i actually seem different#i feel different#i dont even feel good i just feel better#than i had been and i have been absolutely fucking awful#dont want to kill myself right now what a treat#i dont know. im performing again and i know that for a fact#but i am tired and scared and TIRED and i know how to pretend again and#thats all i ever had and thats what i lost and i#am not as hopeless why the FUCK is that the suggested emoji#oh my god i miss being me so bad#im so. tired. i cant miss all my clssses again today or ill be in#real trouble the teachers cant keep ignoring me forever and theyll call my parents and theyll be angry#and everything will be worse and why am i still TALKING im so tired#need a blanket#i. have a blanket im just not warm#im tired and i dont even know if youre okay and im pretending im allowed to vent again without causing problems#and i dont know if thatseven true and i dont know if im venting or just#i dont knowwww but im TIRED and i should shut up now i am being stupidly everything and i am tired#i need a hug and i dont want my life to be over at age fifteen and i#im not contradicting myself anymore when i say that because im not trying to make it be anymore and im not going to hurt myself anymore#and i shit thats the that was the second thing that i couldnt talk about them because it would make everything worse its i#i didnt stay clean forever. im sorry#and i couldnt tell you because it would make everything harder for you and it would make things worse and i#well i didnt want to tell either because if i did then i. couldnt do it any more.#im sorry im not even supposed to be talking about this right now i just im im going to bed now#sorry
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aqen-n · 11 days ago
I'd be lying if I said I was sick of being haunted by you, it's satisfyingly romantic in an artistic movement sense of the word (which is probably why I've had it go on this long, certainly less about you in particular and more about the vibes), though I'll admit it's somewhat hard to know that to a degree, I'm haunted by a version of you that I don't know ever really existed
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narelleart · 11 days ago
...I know I never posted the other thing I mentioned in some notes about necropsying fishes, but now I'm thinking I might acquire and euthanize a few fish to see what's actually going on in there....
I want to open balloon mollies and fancy goldies and compare them to their counterparts that haven't been bred for deformities.
I've been wanting to do this for years, but just haven't actively made it happen. I was just sketching up what the internal anatomy of these fishes might look like and...I'm realizing there's even more that is likely wrong with them than I thought before. So now I really want to see what's going on in there.
Hopefully I can make this happen sometime after we've gotten settled in after the move.
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peachcitt · 13 days ago
ive been rewatching fairy tail recently and it’s been doing a lot for me damn y’all are really friends huh......y’all really care about each other and go out of your way to support your friends about even the littlest things huh............y’all really gain strength from the thought of being happy together huh...........that shit’s so cool. good for y’all
#peach stuff#fairy tail#like??? even straight from the beginning when natsu continually invites lucy on jobs even though she doesn’t have a lot of experience and#she even points that out to him and he’s like ‘??? but i want you to come!! because we’re friends!! look me and happy even found a job that#would be perfect for you specifically!!!’ and how he erza and gray adopt lucy into their group with absolutely no hesitation or qualms#and the fact that natsu and gray have that rivalry going but it’s because they actually see each other as equals and appreciate each#other’s strengths.......and the way that erza is so strong but she always without fail will use that strength to care about other people#also i can’t think about happy for too long or else i’ll cry tbh!!! like!!! that’s natsu’s son wtf!!!!#and the way that even the most ‘manly’ or ‘cold’ characters like gray will be explicitly shown protecting happy and charle#like. i am not immune to strong men gently cradling cats and frankly? im correct#and also that just!!! more often than not fairy tail fights a villain and adopts them into the guild#or nudges them toward other guilds because the people they fight have just. like never had real friends before?#and fairy tail KNOWS that and is like hey we can show you what real friendship is like. come here (affectionate threat)#like wtf!!!!! that shit’s so powerful!!!!!!#tbh whenever i stopped keeping up with fairy tail a few years ago i began to think that it was cringe but you know what!!! it’s not!!!!#im really glad i consumed this media in middle school and it became a core part of my personality actually!!!!!#and im really glad that im rediscovering it now!!!!!
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sapphicsinspace · 15 days ago
Which name do you prefer us to call you? :)
either one is cool! it's the morning so i feel good to talk about it and i will go into more detail in the tags bc i'll mention some personal issues (about parents and culture) so if you don't want any negativity then you can skip over it!
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