#for now (aka this week) i'm gonna just focus on things here

[goldenpinof]

curious about your perspective – what do you think is the primary reason for the current comeback, and for the large scale of it (daily videos, new heavily marketed merch, etc)? are they trying to make up some monetary loss? is it true revitalized passion? the influence of the new management? lead-up to a major project/announcement? i'm guessing there's an element of at least the first three, but interested in your opinion as a noted non-cynical cynic (compliment btw)

under the cut because that's a lot. and it's not even all of my thoughts, unfortunately.

no one is gonna read it. but if you are, i'm sorry in advance.

ahaha. about merch. did you notice how they just continue to promote the calendar and the catboy sweater even though the initial release and promo had a deadline aka till December 1st? this is a fishy marketing right there. and i would love to know: why they did what they did (i'd assume they printed more calendars than people ordered by Dec 1st, but that's not our problem as customers. we shouldn't have been put into a framework in the 1st place if there was a chance for this shit to go south. this theory goes against the "pre-order" with a start of shipping in 2-3 weeks); why their managers allowed it (from a legal perspective); and why dnp didn't say anything. anyways.

i do think that Dan is trying to compensate for wad losses. and i know that he was "joking" about not making money or making negative money on tour. but i saw ticket sales a day before each show (only public information, not the inside official data from venues), it's still on my blog. and the sales didn't look good. so, how much of it was a joke? and compensating by making content that we and they enjoy isn't a bad thing, btw! i also think that he feels guilty for leaving us and the dnp brand behind for so long without actually giving us anything in return. thus so many comments on this 5-year hiatus and potential future ones. blame youtube originals, i know. not really his fault, but his choice of (the lack of) communication is his fault. and again, i always come back to wad. something fucking clicked in his head when he saw not as many people as he hoped for (or expected), how dedicated were some of those who still supported him during wad, and also he realised that without stronger managers he was not gonna make it solo. and he dragged Phil along because they do everything together and only then it works the best, and also dnpg's return in full force needed new energy for the amount of sponsorships they decided to do (i think, it's mainly Phil's pushing, because he is pro-sponsorships, they just need to be more careful with it on dnpg because Dan (hopefully) has principles when it comes to this. which is amazing. you go, girl!)

i'm very suspicious of dnp's new management right now. so idk. i think, again, most of it comes from Phil, because Phil thrives on their gaming channel, and that's basically the only easy way to survive on youtube and make money right now (for him). i'm glad dnp separated dnpg from their solo careers at least on the management and content levels. it gives Phil the room to use dnpg as a brand to pitch and fund his ideas/projects if it's ever needed. and now, after we survived the hiatus, they can pause dnpg for a couple of months to focus on their solo projects without losing the majority of the audience because technically we would know the reason and also we grew a thicker skin.

i do think that Dan is using dnpg to later help himself with a stand-up special or tour or some sort of series (danisnotokay). i also think he will use it to promote wad dvd (which is good. i will be disappointed if he doesn't use dnpg. like, bitch, why are we even here then? those who went through wad with him, i mean). i wonder if Inter Talent (i'm separating their name intentionally at his point because they piss me off) was smart enough to announce Dan and Phil's signings 2 weeks after UTA announced Dan to just make us pay attention to Dan's solo career again. as a hint of something coming our way. you know what i mean? i wonder if it was intentional. like UTA made a huge announcement, Dan retweeted it and posted it on instagram stories. it was a big deal. meanwhile, dnpg began thriving again and our eyes were on Dan anyway, so of course we noticed that solo career was on the maps again. Inter Talent was basically silent as another representative of Dan (and Phil), despite having them on the website for at least a month. and now 2 weeks after UTA's announcement (which was on November 22, 2023) Inter Talent was like, "hello? do you remember we signed Dan? and also Phil, and their joint channel?" Dan said wad dvd is almost cooked. wouldn't it be genius to stir our interest up step by step? (a part of me still thinks that Inter Talent's social media managers are just slow as fuck though. also they don't even care to check facts about their clients. UTA didn't fuck the announcement up like that, btw. and i doubt Inter Talent realises how nosy dnp's audience is, and that we are very likely gonna notice and spread even this stupid announcement. maybe they are dumb and it's me who is a fucking genius planning steps to present wad dvd to the masses, ugh. when will Dan pay me, like for real.)

i'm surprised you don't think it's heavily connected to new projects. i would bet my kidney it does. Dan will fuck off the moment he needs to focus on danisnotokay or someone offers to sponsor another tour (which, please, someone do. i need to see him for professional reasons). the question is, fuck off for how long and if it's gonna be communicated thoroughly or not. i'm not saying he will leave for 6 months without giving us something in return to balance things out. no, no, no. i don't think he would dare. but 3-4 weeks, maybe 2 months? sure.

is it true revitalized passion? well. *nervous laughter* i'm gonna defend Phil like i'm a phillie, even tho i'm not. he wanted it just as much as we did. so i believe it's a true revitalized passion at least on his part. i hope he fights for it if it's necessary, i hope he asks us for help if needed. i hope he threatens Dan with an actual divorce and forever home if needed. like, bitch, if there's a chance to keep dnpg alive without Dan actually losing his will to live, we should use that chance. Dan's stubbornness and delulus are not the reason to kill the most fun and profitable thing they ever created aka dnp brand. let it exist, even if alongside solo projects, even if it's 2-3 videos a month. damn, even 1 video (i don't mean during pauses made specifically for the peaks of solo projects). i do think Dan enjoys the attention, money, and possibilities their returned audience can give him. he also enjoys working with Phil. he certainly does not enjoy promoting their videos. and he is lucky he has Phil for that. is it a true passion for the gaming channel and joint branding solemnly? i genuinely don't think so. now, this dnp brand puts Dan into a framework, unfortunately. and i understand his desire to grow as a "strong independent Dan", and i wish him the best. i will root for him no matter how much of a floppy-ding-dong it can potentially be. i want him to fulfill his dreams and have a team that will fight for his interests. and i hope to god, UTA and Inter Talent are the ones. don't fucking tempt me with your unprofessionalism. but do i think Dan's head and heart belong to dnpg or dnp brand? no. i'm happy that he is at least trying. a part of me doesn't even care about the reason. i'm curious, but in hindsight, it wouldn't matter or change anything.

other thoughts, because apparently i decided to vomit on a keyboard tonight:

i'm glad dnp took back a bit of control over the editing on dnpg. i hope they will try to edit more themselves when gamingmas is over. or they will teach their editors better. because man, we need to slow down with these cuts.

i do think that dnp brand will expand, and dnpg and merch aren't the only things we should expect. (twitch, podcast or liveshows, onlyfans or its equivalent, vlogging series not limited by ditl, and other things that i forgot). reaction videos are already a thing and it's very funny because it's what youtube wants, so Dan must feel amazing right now falling for it :)) it's good thought because it's fun and torture for all parties involved.

i think by these reaction videos they are trying to rewrite their internet history a little bit for those who are new. it's not gonna work with us but at least dnp can control the narrative in new people's heads (i wonder for how long though).

with new people, the phandom will become more generic and dnp will love that. it can actually help Dan with new projects i think. Phil as well, but we don't know shit about it right now.

i wonder if Dan returns to working with charities.

if they involve more phannies, not only artists, it's gonna be interesting.

in case i'm wrong, don't step on my neck, i don't know anything for a fact. half of it is alleged, the other half is wishful thinking <3

#answered #wad #wad dvd #inter talent #uta #dan and phil #ahahah suffer yall #dnpgames #dan and phil's merch

[yarameijer]

SO I HAVE A BRAINROT - I'm just gonna share my thoughts here with you because, well, why not? Yara, you've become a safe place of mine and generally, make me feel so entertained and content with your writing especially since the pandemic🥹 I hope you're doing well there, and I hope you'll feel better soon!

But anyway, onto the brainrot: What if Tenma has ADHD? How would the story go? How would Raimon and his friends react to this? How will they deal with it? Or how will Tenma deal with it?

I imagine that could be the reason why he can be impulsive (I've searched that impulsiveness can be a main sign or symptom of ADHD, but to those who has ADHD, please feel free to correct me, I don't mean to offend anyone.).

I also imagine that Tenma can be forgetful at times and thus would forget to drink his medication and his friends would be the ones to remind him just in case. Speaking of, I feel like he'd either have a hard time focusing in class or unable to sit still during class. Either of them works in this AU, I guess?

That's all, I'd love to hear your thoughts and your personal headcanons about this AU! Have a great day and once again, praying for your recovery!

Hey!! Sorry for the incredibly late reply, I just sort of dropped tumblr without meaning to. And every time I opened it I ended up procrastinating even more… whoops.

But! I’m here now! So let’s get to it!

(Tenma with ADHD is honestly not something I have considered before. Please understand that all my experience with it is from having classmates in elementary school with ADHD and research I did online to answer this, so it might not all be accurate, but I’ll try my best!)

Tenma is already a very active and excitable kid, which means that when it comes to soccer, not overly much changes? It’s a great way to burn off energy and move around a lot, which is really helpful for him! The way his ADHD shows mostly is through the way he moves; he’s constantly fidgeting, or playing with things he’s holding, or bouncing his knee up and down. He just can’t seem to sit still for longer than a few minutes, which, again, when it comes to soccer, doesn’t matter overly much. Outside of training and matches, however, especially during team discussions or strategy meetings, it can get distracting and even cause tension especially in the early weeks of the schoolyear.

One noteworthy thing is that Tenma rambles, without really meaning to. He’s already got some insecurity issues, and that coupled with a hyperactivity disorder means he’s likely to just ramble on especially when he feels unsure or excited (AKA whenever he talks about soccer). It doesn’t do much to endear him to the more reserved members on the team, and it’s a habit he’s very bothered by.

Unfortunately Japan is not as supportive towards people with mental disorders as other countries, which in this case means that although Tenma has an official diagnosis, he prefers to keep it quiet. On the team, Aoi is the only one who is aware of this, and has been a genuine blessing to Tenma ever since elementary school. While Tenma mostly suffers from the hyperactivity part of ADHD, he can have trouble focusing, or rather be too active to really sit down and focus on for example studying. Aoi and Tenma were not in the same class before, but they were in the same year and she would offer her notes and extra tutoring whenever Tenma needed, and by the time they join Raimon Jr. High, it’s become an unspoken routine. Tenma and Aoi hang out more often than they do in the original story; they’ve got a few set homework sessions every week at one of their houses, and usually spend at least some time every week studying in the library.

Their little study sessions are quickly joined by Shinsuke, and later on the rest of the first-years, although neither Tenma nor Aoi ever mention the reasons they started them. Aoi is very defensive of anyone making a comment about Tenma’s attitude towards schoolwork (which is thankfully not often necessary amongst the team, beyond a few mishaps at the start) but also very strict towards Tenma if need be.

I imagine the older students sometimes help out with schoolwork as well, although not always towards Tenma specifically but rather just the first-years. Shindou and Kirino at some point figure out Tenma’s got ADHD, and Shindou at some point mentions it privately. Tenma freaks out a bit, but Shindou reassures him he doesn’t mind, and is especially helpful when Tenma becomes captain later on, taking on a supportive role.

Despite the tension at the start of the year, eventually that fades as the team gets to know each other better. Shindou tends to be a bit of a crybaby (but don’t mention that on pain of death). Hayami stutters his way through most of his conversations and once literally screeched in the middle of match because Kariya (no further explanation necessary). Tenma is known to start rambling when he’s excited and once climbed every tree next to Raimon’s soccer field because Aoi said he should (she meant well, but it did get them some weird looks). Hikaru’s way of dealing with intense frustration is to go to a secluded spot and scream until he calms down (boy, was that a fun training camp).

Tenma eventually tells Shinsuke on accident, but Shinsuke doesn’t really care either way and is just happy to hang out with someone who can be just as, or even more, excitable as himself. Tenma doesn’t really tell the rest of the team for a while, though; at some point he does, after they’ve been friends for longer, but to be honest, Raimon being so (unconsciously) supportive has gone a long way with making him feel more confident about himself. Whereas before he wouldn’t mention it because of the stigma, now he doesn’t mention it because it doesn’t seem like anyone on the team really cares? They’re all weird. They’ve all got their little quirks. Tenma having an unexpected obsession with fidget spinners really doesn’t even reach the top 10 of ‘weird’ in their lives.

I hope you enjoyed, and again, apologies for the late response!

#inazuma eleven go #inazuma eleven #ina11 #ie11 #ie go #raimon #matsukaze tenma

[necroangelz]

🪽 & 💉 please。。

I'm gonna pretend this didn't take me like 2 weeks to respond to again

『 💉 』

a kin memory

as Monika from ddlc, i remember two timelines/lives! one timeline follows the canon events of the game where i was a sentient entity trapped within the game. in the other timeline, i was a human girl living in like, a normal world, except i suffered a huuuge breakdown from heavy stress. something in me snapped and i began to see the world as lifeless and flat, and i thought i was stuck in a simulation or video game of some sorts where everything and everyone was fake and i was the only real being. it was.... very hard, as you can probably guess, but with professional help and support from the other club members i got better

『 🪽 』

infodump about an oc

@yaoimurder hi squid I'm tagging uu here bc this is where i ramble about that vampire oc i mentioned ages ago, if uu remember that!!! read on if uu'd like (: my oc infodumps are very long and i mention almost EVERYTHING about them so uu can just read the basic info only lol

her name is midah she is my babygirl. she's also my first (and only) empires SMP oc and i ship her w my f/o (mythicalsausage s1)!!

picture #1 is much more accurate to how midah looks but picture #2 includes details about midah not present in the other photo, such as her red vial necklace, flowers on her cheekbones, and silly little hat

since she's an oc for a series I'll mention stuff that some might not know about, im too lazy to explain everything though so if anyone's curious at all just ask :3

okay midah's backstory is a LIIITTLE murky bc i mainly use her for vague-daydreaming purposes. anyway shes an assassin sorceress who practices blood magic and other types of magic (such as offensive fire Magic that involves creating and manipulating white fire). i got the idea for her name from the line, "touch me, midas, make me part of your design," from my ordinary life. other than that though, her character/story doesn't have much connection to the mythology figure midas. it's just her name that's connected to him. her name is pronounced like midas without the "s", or like the name Micah.

midah is half vampire and half flower elf. i don't really have info on what a "flower elf" is exactly, i don't think i wrote down the info for that, but basically it's just. Elf type connected to Flowers. and flowers often grow on (and maybe in...) their bodies. this can be seen in the red roses that grow on midah's cheekbones. help me my brain is coming up with ideas fur this elf type as i type this but I'm too tired to really focus on that and too focused on finishing this rambles

shes brave, strong, self assured of her own capabilities, tbh for the most part she's a normal person with not much mental and emotional problems, and she cares deeply for those she loves (like a certain mythical j. sausage... aka my f/o ever) she cares deeply to the point of sacrifice but hey, anything for true love amirite... shes also usually the voice of logic and reason compared to sausage but she doesn't try to stop his antics (until his antics start getting a little... demonic.) she totally tops sausage btw. shes also older than him by a bit and she's much taller than him (she's like 7ft tall)

anyway midah isn't very affected by the sunlight BUT she does need to drink blood every now and then, otherwise she gets a bit Quirky (aggressive, uncontrollable monsterlike behavior, and also she starts feeling a lot of physical pain) blood is like a Huge thing for her. she can perform rituals using blood. she wears a vial of blood tied to a necklace for good luck. she has a special bond with the blood sheep

wait what the fuck is a blood sheep? they're creatures from empires SMP s1, particularly the mythland empire (cough cough, that's the main setting of midah's "story") basically they're just Minecraft sheep dyed red. but lorewise they're mysterious creatures who have inhabited mythland for a very long time. they exhibit erratic behavior and sometimes display aggression to other beings. their blood and guts are also very useful for rituals! the blood sheep like midah a lot. they follow her around and nuzzle her like docile farm sheep and sometimes she can communicate with them and they follow her orders. they also protect her FIERCELY against anyone

the vial midah wears around her neck is filled with the blood of a sacrificed blood sheep. she wears it for good luck but replaces it every now and then because the luck can degrade and eventually attract bad luck instead

so yeah i have a lot of different storylines i imagined for midah and ill try to go over them briefly (I'll totally not type like 6 more paragraphs)

- backstory #1 explaining how sausage and midah met: midah moves to mythland and works there as a regular farmer at first and then attempts to join the assassin's guild managed by sausage. she expresses interest in being an assassin and spy. sausage is unsure of her at first,but hes intrigued by her, so he tests her with an easy normal mission: assassinating codfather Jimmy in the empire next door and bringing back his head. yeah that's totally not, like, the beginning of a war and political feud or something. so midah sneaks to the codlands, successfully kills Jimmy, returns with his head, and gets accepted into the guild. at the beginning of this backstory she puts on this facade of a totally unassuming and regular citizen who doesn't seem to have any fighting capabilities, let alone the capability to fight with magic and perform rituals, but then time passes and more and more is revealed about her and it's like Wow she's not who she seems to be. at all. and she quits her farmer job and goes all in on the assassin gig but does other stuff on the side too. and falls in love with saus along the way LOL

- midah x saus backstory #2: they're ~ childhood friends ~ who have been separated for like more than a decade and reunite when midah moves back to mythland. (i envisioned this scene in my head actually—a few days before returning to mythland, midah sends sausage tons and tons of letters sealed within a thick envelope, talking about her plans to return to mythland and why. and also updating him on what's been going on in her life the past decade or so. then on the day she arrives in mythland, they have one of those cute cliche scenes where they run towards each other on a long path and hug each other at the middle. and they cry a bit and talk and marvel about how long its been since they last saw each other. its really sweet ugh)

in this backstory midah was actually part of one of mythland's noble families. i made up some lore where mythland used to be ruled by four noble families (among them were house sausage, which is where sausage comes from duh, and house lavendar, where midah comes from, and yea it's intentionally spelled that way). the noble families/houses went to war with each other for power over mythland and the other two houses were defeated. most members of house lavendar left of their own accord and the rest that remained renounced their noble lineage, leaving house sausage who became the ruling family of mythland. the members of house lavendar specialized in blood magic and a lot of advanced complex blood spells were created by them. hence they have connections to the blood sheep in some way.

i like the longtime friends/allies to lovers dynamic that's going on in backstory #2 (: backstory #1 is still cool in its own way, strangers to lovers is nice, getting to know each other on purpose bc uu find each other intriguing is nice, even though uu might think uur very different people at first, uu get to know the other person a bit more and uu find out things about them and uu realize uur not so different after all ^_^ i read smtg about that once, about loving each other on purpose and choosing to love each other even though uu don't have years and years of history with the other person, and uu grew up completely without them and uur roots aren't tangled with theirs. but still uu love them. and that's very beautiful

okay umm this is getting to be a lot lol i think I'll cap it here, maybe the next time someone sends a 🪽 emoji I'll do a pt2 bc i still have more to say LOL

#🎮﹕ press start 𝜗𝜚 ︵

[heyseihai]

Now BoS season 2 is over, I can focus on adapting it to VN format. If everything goes well, it will be ready for beta-testing before christmas.

But part of me is also eager for writing season three asap, it's here that Tenjin's paranoia starts to build.

He still thinks Seihai was pretending to be Coatlicue when she said those things and therefore, that she's interested in Leiftan. He thinks she has taken the opportunity that he was away (eastern border, some rebel elves causing a ruckus for not agreeing with the soon-to-be Sovereignty Triad Alliance) to bring Leif to court as some sort of paramour. He thinks she's like the Sakurai dynasty, known for their countless lovers off-screen.

There's even a moment when he tries to make a move on her, and *gasp* she refuses. The guy is so stunned for Leiftan's presence in the north he completely ignores the fact that Seihai refuses him not because of Leiftan, but because she's still recovering from labor weeks before. He's been away for so much time he had even forgotten she was pregnant.

Then we have the issue with Tsubomi and how she only shuts up when Leiftan is around. He is kinda forced to accept Lief there for it was his only choice. He could have found a way to get rid of the girl, but sooner or later the fact would have come to light and he would be known as kinslayer. Well, Leif is lesser of two evils for now.

And then it's when things start getting wild:

Tsubomi stops crying.

Seihai, who had never cared that much for spending time with the children, starts doing so from time to time.

And even Yuki, who was known for spying on him in the throne room 24/7, is not there all the time anymore.

And worse: it's quite common to see them together now, like, Leiftan combing Tsubomi's hair while telling Yuki stories of his adventures before his arrival. While Seihai just sits there close to them, listening as if she's not paying attention but she is.

In that court where Seihai knows nobody and the only one she kinda knows is there just to lecture her (Rin) or the other noble families who are kinda meh, Leiftan is a reassuring presence for her. And Tenjin doesn't realize it because the guy is more king, than husband or father.

He's so dumb when it comes to this kind of thing, that he even starts comparing himself to Leiftan and comes to the BRILLIANT conclusion that if he wants Seihai to be the way she was before Leif's arrival, he needs to get off his pedestal a little and make her pay attention to him... aka, "I need to remind her that I'm the boss here, and I'm her husband, and I'm amazing blablabla but how am I gonna do that? Oh I know, dragging her to my bed and pleasing her" considering that he had never done that before. The man thinks he can conquer her with that, even if he's not the horny kind lol He does think that having a better "bed performance" than Leiftan's will make Seihai come back to him, because he's 100% sure Seileif have an affair haha!

But it's funny seeing how Tenjin asks RIN, of all people, about how to please a woman in bed lol. On one hand is cute because it shows she's the only one he trusts to ask these things, the only one he trusts to show he's vulnerable in some way, the only one that knows he's just a normal kitsune doing his best to rule despite not having an answer for everything. On the other though, it's funny to ask an old woman (who most likely knew nothing about it) such a thing.

He summons her to his chambers at some point, and he just lets his hands do the work at first. He asks if she likes it, she says something like "if you like it I like it too" or similar, and he gets all angry: "I'm asking YOU whether YOU like ir or not". The guy is so insecure in this moment but he can't handle it and his insecurity is masked by anger, it's mask of picture-perfect king starting to shatter.

All because of Leif. It's amazing how Leif-baby can contribute to the story, be it in a character-driven aspect, be it in a plot-driven aspect. Some characters can only contribute in one aspect, he does with both! Leif is a goddamn gamechanger (L)

[sotorubio]

zoe’s social media content hasn’t changed at all…

u know when i said i'd come back to it i meant that i'd write a separate, original post abt it but who knew even after being semi inactive i could still continue to count on my passive aggressive anons to give me a more efficient way to talk abt my opinions under their comments. btw this is gonna be long n it's only part one i'll add more in a sec <3

anyway. if u want me to give u the benefit of the doubt i can assume u maybe just don't remember s5/6 all that much. the thing is that s7-8 are a unit n the change i'm talking abt has been gradually happening since s7 specifically bc they already knew what s8 was gonna be like. we as the audience didn't so ofc it didn't seem as insidious back then as it does now in retrospect when we know what it was always leading to. also inb4 someone comes complaining abt how i'm just making shit up now: this isn't a new thing i literally already talked abt this during s7. zoe's oversexualization vs mailin's "purity" hasn't come out of nowhere:

now that said even IF u only remember s7 sm content, there still is like. a drastic unmissable change so idk what ur talking abt. but alright let's move on to zoe's instagram ❤️ here's her s5-6 type of content vs s7 aka what she posted before mailin's season was ever planned vs while her season was already concrete but her story wasn't the focus yet

n these are her posts just from the first week of mailin's season + the last posts of s7 after her relationship w finn was ending

i personally don't even think these individually would be bad but it's the fucking ig stories that are the last straw for me.

the nexts pics are from s5-7 n the content zoe posted during it

we have silly faces & sweet smiles w butterflies, a ton of her in bed in hoodies n her glasses, a loooooot of taste testing n so many vids of her just eating food. the closest we've got to her silly faces in s8 that have been CONSTANT in the past? the sexy teacher look i guess. seriously, not even during halloween, during the sexiest of holidays, did she pose suggestively like this

her just messing up her shirt looking like she drooled on herself n let's not forget her funny filters!

n u might think wah wah ur just cherry picking the posts!!!! i literally went through ALL of her highlights n the ganggang account n tried to screen shot every post (excluding dancing, bc we'll get to that in the next part) that could be counted as suggestive n i got like. 3

n u know what else i realized while doing that? on zoe's own instagram u can find more suggestive/"sexy" poses from kieu my than from zoe herself

now here's the content we have of her from one week during season 8, a season who's protagonist is uncomfortable w sex n is the most vocal abt women's rights n trying to emphasize women as more than sexual objects.

in all of her pics she's posing w her butt out, she's sensually touching her chest n laying on the floor winking at the camera, almost flashing under her skirt while dropping it down n one of her shaking her hair to the lyrics "sometimes all i think about is you" & "can't make you happier now". now whether or not u wanna count that as lyrical symbolism when she's posting that around the time mailin is gaining interest in her ex is up to u but worth pointing out :)

and it IS imperative to know WHEN these new types of posts are being posted. who knows maybe mailin will organize some feminist movement n zoe will post a pic w no make up to participate. maybe she'll post an ugly hangover selfies after a major party during the season. these are not the Only types of pictures/stories she'll post. but u cannot deny the intentional timing of zoe, finn's ex, suddenly acting n posting like this out of the blue at the exact same time mailin, finn's new interest, is clip after clip emphasizing how much she dislikes the idea of sex/touch & fighting against the objectificaion of women. also literally as i was typing this post out zoe posts a new pic n i was pleasantly surprised to see it's just a cute silly butterfly ring :) oh and also the last slide is her sliding her hand up her thigh w the camera angle almost showing up her skirt :)

also like i said this is long lol but yes this was only the first part <3 in the next reblog i'll talk abt dancing like i promised. u know bc zoe loves dancing! <3 unlike mailin. mailin is awkward w dancing, she just stands to the side. mailin prefers football and is sporty. mailin is one of the boys as they beg her to join their team bc she's such a talented smart athletic girlboss who uses more than her physical looks to be cool.

#inbox #anon #druck #long post

[queer-crusader]

I'm gonna talk about weight for a sec. I don't like to do it or focus on it bc I don't think it should be a focal point of my thoughts or conversations (in fact I viscerally hate it as a topic most times bc I've seen what obsessing over it can do), hence me never talking about it, but I'm gonna do it now anyway bc I had a dawning realisation.

During my childhood and teen years, I played badminton. I played it three times a week, including regional competitions. It is a big stamina sport and I was FIT. I was also young so I probably had a naturally faster metabolism just due to my age.

But when I moved out and went off to college and uni, I stopped playing. Access to local clubs was harder, or it collided with other things I gave priority, I didn't know the other club members, had a whole new life routine, etc etc etc. Many different reasons. But I stopped exercising. I tried the gym for a little while, but. Well. ADHD. Routines are a BITCH and there is NOTHING compelling about the gym, not in the way badminton is. There is a vast difference between playing a game without even thinking of exercise, and exercising for the sake of exercise. Boring. The brain won't allow it.

On top of this, my diet changed from homemade meals from scratch with plenty of healthy ingredients, to ready-made meals, takeout, and eventually some alcohol a couple of times a week when I started drinking (took me a while to start drinking, but I got there in the end - student life in Scotland caught up to me). Processed foods, burgers and chips and pizza and beer etc all became a more regular part of life.

And when I tell you I gained weight in my student years, I mean it. I went from 65kg to close to 90kg in the span of 6 years. I wasn't very happy about it, but I didn't often make it a massive focus in my mind, bc I didn't want to focus on weight (and I'm kinda glad for it - it's easy to hyperfixate on things like that, and that could've gotten mentally very unhealthy. In my most depressive period, my weight and stress eating did get to me, and I was mentally beating myself up on the regular for a brief period. It hurt. It sucked). I did try especially during my later uni years to be a little more healthy every now and then, but again, little to no exercise + intense study/work load and an increase in anxiety (when I tell you Brexit fucked me up a little mentally I'm not joking) did not help me to have the energy to cook for myself several times a week.

Now here's the kicker. I've graduated and gone home again, back to my parents. I'm still not properly exercising (aka no gym or badminton), but I am walking and cycling more, and my diet has gone back to what it was - cooked meals that are almost guaranteed to be healthier than junk food, not too many snacks, less alcohol intake now that I'm doing better mentally. I'm not actively trying to lose weight. I'm not dieting, I'm not hitting the gym three times a week. I'm just living my life in a way that is better for me mentally and I'm taking things easy.

And in the 2.5 years that I've been home, I've dipped under 80kg. I rarely check my weight - again, I don't like to preoccupy myself with it - but this morning the scales said 78.6kg. Basically a 10kg difference from my heaviest point in life during my student years. (I don't think I weighed that much when I came home, I think my weight was already slowly going down during those last uni years). And while I don't want to conflate weight and numbers with health, especially not generalised health (what may be a "healthy" weight for me is either far too much or far too little for someone else), I am glad to see it.

Why?

Because I'm not burning it off. I'm not pushing my body through starvation and intense exercise. I'm not forcing any yo-yo effects or whatever. I'm simply seeing the result that comes from a healthier lifestyle, and I am happy to see it happen so gradually. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. I don't need to be skinny tomorrow. I don't WANT to be skinny tomorrow (or in a year's time). I just wanna be healthy. I know I was healthy when I was 16, and while I know I'll likely never go back to physically being how I was back then (which is okay), sometimes I do wish I was a bit closer to those days. And knowing I'm closer now than I was 4 years ago is nice.

But the number on the scales isn't a goal for me, and it never will be. Nor is my circumference or size or whatever. My goal is to feel fit, rejuvenated, healthy. The number on the scales is just a more visible sign that my patterns and self-care have changed. That, spread over time, bodies change. That even little things have an effect on us. That I don't have to put my body through hell to be "healthy". And that is quite a soothing thought.

I intend to live a calm and (for me) healthy life. And for that, I've got all the time in the world.

#anne speaks #tw body image #tw weight #no but seriously. i have time. life is longer than you think. some things are simply gradual and that is okay #of course this doesnt go for everyone - some people have conditions that make losing or even gaining weight impossible #this post is not about people with other bodies or chronic illnesses. this post is about ME. MY body. #if anyone takes it out of that context and decides to give me hell for it: COMPREHENSIVE READING. IM BEGGING YOU.

[nin-jay-go]

mmmmmmm i have only been thinking about ninjago for the past few weeks. you will be here for my brainrot

so ive got this rewrite i'm working on rn, which ive called alterline (portmanteau of alternate timeline) since like 2018. ive picked it back up and i'm officially working on the rewrite, but for it i added a few new seasons. specifically 3 brand new fanseasons.

the other two don't matter right now. all that matters is s17. my mad science season.

fun fact about me i am in love with mad science stuff and i figured hey! why not! i needed to do Something with my s17, so why not work some fucked up science into it :)

the tldr for those who don't wanna hear me ramble or don't wanna see what i will be rambling about (bc heavy tw for mad science themes like body horror, vivisection, and general medical malpractice) is below, but one bit of information before we proceed. nya is still the ocean. let her stay dead for longer than 2 episodes !

s17 is a kai focus! he and the ninja get invited to a lab by a scientist to run some tests (they are still powerless), but she traps them and runs experiments on them. there, they find out that 1) nya is alive now, 2) dr cy is working with aspheera, and 3) the new ninja are clones of the old ninja. kai ends up blowing the lab up and going on a minor destructive arc before calming down. the rest of the season focuses on the new ninja realizing they're clones and helping the old ninja take out mayor trustable.

so now that the summary is over. time to get into the details (or just what i have so far)

hi thanks for uncovering the hell. i'm gonna be rambling for a while.

again, this is a kai-focused season! we haven't had one since my s11 and he deserves to have a focus. as a treat :) (i realize this is just kai suffers the season. i realize that. but it's fiiiiine don't worry)

some prehistory for the season. dr cy calls up aspheera for her magical talents, and they summon nya together. they pull her from the ocean and violently rip her back into her body. of course, she can only be here if her powers are gone, so aspheera drains her water powers. nya has no memory of who she was or what she's doing here. she just knew she was the ocean. and now she's here.

a month later, the ninja are ninja-ing. it's been a year since the events of crystalized, two since nya died. that's the longest any of them stayed dead (sans morro who was dead for 40 years). kai really misses her, but has accepted the fact that she's gone. (she helped out in crystalized, but she wasn't really nya. she was the sea)

he runs into dr cy, who offers him and the ninja an opportunity to get tested. she could figure out the origin of elemental powers and help restore them to the ninja. they deserve their powers back, after saving the world so many times! she's a huge fan!

kai discusses it with the team, who agree that it's worth a shot at least. pixal stays behind since she's mostly unaffected by elemental nonsense, but also to keep an eye on the new ninja. she doesn't trust them. plus, if it ends up being bad, she can break them out.

the first tests kinda go normally, just general doctor checkups. she's just being a little bit weird about the nonhuman members of the team (aka everyone but kai), but a lot of people end up being weird about it. jay's publically part snake, zane's obviously a nindroid, lloyd is lloyd, cole used to be dead, and morro's got their own thing going on.

(oh. some background context. in my rewrite the ninjas' public identities are secret. the only ones with a face and name known to the public are lloyd and morro, to an extent, and jay for those who remember the alternate timeline)

when the ninja thank cy for her time and investigation, she uh. traps them in there JKDFSHKJSFDH because she needs to find out where elemental power comes from. and how she can bring it back for the ninja. to restore them to their full glory.

they're stuck in there for a while. a week, maybe? i haven't decided how long exactly, but a Long Time. pixal does try and rescue them but is taken out by aspheera with water powers, meaning pixal is the first person to find out about nya being alive. she doesn't take it well, so she and aspheera are kinda duking it out out there

meanwhile, the ninja are being put through tests to activate what's called their elements' emergency response, aka a hypercharged form designed for protecting the body and the element. kind of like nya's merged form with the ocean, but temporary. cy is trying to activate the emergency response through putting the guys through Situations that they don't like one bit. one of them included kai in a super frozen room and zane in a super boiling room, morro being pretty much buried, and other stuff like that.

sometimes she tries to stimulate them further by exposing them to their element, like frying jay or lloyd with electrical currents, or piling heavy boulders on cole. maybe that will trigger their emergency responses, but nothing seems to work. she even tries it out with nya to see if she can summon back her water powers, but nya's kind of being a sad sack of amnesia right now.

speaking of nya, she's just kinda. here? around the lab? she's mostly locked in her cell, but she treats aspheera and cy as important people, like parents. she trusts them. she's also kinda having a bad time physically, constantly melting and dripping water. she's not really a solid person right now :(

[tw for vivisection begins here] so eventually, cy tries to take it a step further and pulls out some Forbidden Things. she needs to make kai's fire act up more. he's 100% human still. how would his body react to parts of a fire dragon? so she tries it out, doing a quick lung transplant to see if, maybe, the lungs being close to the heart could kickstart a bit of fire. maybe even some dragon blood? all to see how kai reacts to it.

he reacts badly.

congratz on the dragon parts now, kai! the last human is no longer human, not fully. he refuses to acknowledge that he isn't fully human anymore, denying that he'll probably never breathe the same way humans do again. it's fine. he's fine. [end tw]

through this, however, cy decides to keep a closer eye on his developments. eventually, she lets him in on a secret. she leads him to the back of the lab, a room that no one is allowed to enter. she shows him what's inside.

it's cloning pods. she had already had their dna for who knows how long, and had used it to essentially clone them. make perfect ninja replicas. ones that had all their skills. only five managed to survive the process and come out the other end alive. cy reveals this was something she was hired by mayor trustable to do, and when the clones finished growing, he took them off her hands.

but she's always hated him for that. the original ninja would always be superior. the clones could not come close, ever. that's why she's so adamant about bringing their powers back. she wants them to wipe their clones out and prove they're superior.

kai thinks that's absolutely unhinged and manages to escape, running through the lab. he took a wrong turn and finds a cell, where nya is sitting. his sister is alive. he and nya talk, but it's obvious she doesn't know who he is, or who she even is. kai promises to get her out, but nya doesn't understand. he leaves and gets captured and sent back to his cell.

he goes to visit nya's cell sometimes, now that he knows where she is. he tries reminding her of her memories, to which she listens to best she can. she's a bit... spacey. but it's ok, they're bonding.

that is, until cy catches him visiting her and gets pissed. she threatens to hurt nya if he doesn't back off and go back to his cell, to which he snaps and activates his emergency response. his sister is in danger. he would not let his family be in danger.

he becomes a wildfire and destroys the lab. it gets burned down, its entire foundation gone. and for her cruelty, for what she did to him, his friends, his family, his sister, kai kills dr cy.

still in his emergency response, he can't do much other than rampage, a living wildfire. the others find nya and they all get out of there. pixal, meanwhile, is holding kai back and fighting him off. he's not kai right now, just a mess of fire and rage. it hurts to see him like this.

but nya sees him like that. memories flood back. the element of water rushes back to her (aspheera losing hold on the magic) and she turns back into the sea. she has her memories. she stares kai in the firey face and they calm each other down. their emergency states fade away, leaving two not-quite humans in their wake. kai realizes what he did in his state. nya realizes how long it's been. they're both sobbing messes against each other.

now that cy and the lab are gone, and nya and kai have their elements back, there's two issues to solve. the first is the others' elements, which they don't really want to trigger the emergency response for. the other is the new ninja, their clones.

the og ninja decide to tell the new ninja directly that they know they're clones. turns out the new ninja also did not know they were clones. so that was a fun development where the new ninja realize that Oh God. they're not even actual people. they were just made for one purpose.

the bizarros also get involved. it becomes very confusing to have like three people with the same face in the same room, but the bizarros deserve to know there's clones of their light counterparts. i'm normal about my bizarros.

with their combined effort, they overthrow mayor trustable. and everyone lives happily ever after. more or less.

the new ninja agree to also be city protectors, since they were literally made for that, but that they'll also learn to live their own lives and figure out who they are as people. they aren't the bizarros, who are kinda predisposed to doing bad things.

kai is having a time, meanwhile. he killed someone. he isn't human anymore. he's changed. if there's any more room left in the season, it's left for kai to discover who he is again. maybe he goes on a vacation. they all can go on vacation. they deserve it.

how did the others get their elements back? fuck if i know <3 i haven't gotten that far yet kjdhfgkjdhfg

#alterline.png #jay.error #ninjago fanseason #unnamed for now but it's gonna get a name at some point #kai's suffering arc <3 #basically gonna be his version of skybound #nya also is a minor focus this season #kinda like zane in s11 #or cole in my s6 #long post #cuz uh. i sure did ramble #may reblog with more information soon? idk #suggestions welcome o/

[minimoefoe]

Thirteen Era Rewatch: Revolution of the Daleks

I'm re-watching Thirteen's era in lead up to the Centenary and since this is likely going to be my last full re-watch for a while I thought I'd do a post on each ep where I just go over all the things I love, hate or just have some general thoughts on.

I literally skipped the first 8 minutes idgaf

I love that she talks to the other prisoners like ofc she does lmao

Obviously Ryan has never been as attached to 13 as Yaz but I wonder if part of why it’s easier for him to move on and get on with life even if probs especially at the beginning he did miss her is bc he’s had to deal with similar shit with his dad leaving him

Yaz literally living in the TARDIS and just her general obsessive vibe in the first scene she’s in is chef’s kiss actually

The fact this ep was low-key presented as being the fam figuring shit out while the Doctor is in prison but then that doesn’t even happen is weird to me like I don’t even care that they Don’t do all that themselves, it’s just weird that it was kinda implied in the marketing

When I first saw 13 and Jack reunite when the ep aired I literally started crying. And I cried again when they hugged. It doesn’t get me quite as fucked up now but I do still love it a lot. Bringing Jack back was a cool idea, shame John is a twat

There’s just something about 13’s face when they hug like she’s been away from people for so long and she’s generally not that touchy but this is Jack and UGH I’m fine

The whole scene of Jack and 13 in the TARDIS is cute tbh, I love their vibe together

Imo ‘rough few decades’ implies she spent at least 30 years but probably more like 40 years in prison

Yaz’s hope/desperation here is my fave

The way she just jumps out the TARDIS and exclaims she was in ‘space jail’ like it was a fun time fucks me up like the mask is back on right away

God bless the shove

This is so uncomfortable like I think Jack’s flirting is funny but Graham’s reaction is insane like he does not want to be there at all. I remember from this scene some ppl were like lol Graham is flustered like no bro Graham is fearing for his life. Weird choice idk

I know the main focus is on how Yaz is fucked up by the Doctor leaving but God you can tell it got to Ryan too, his whole vibe is different, like he feels annoyed/let down

I love the Rose reference, just casual as fuck. Part of me wishes we coulda seen 13 face’s when she was brought up but i imagine she probably wouldn’t have had much of a reaction

Jack and Yaz’s chat is chef’s kiss. The way I’m watching all this and she is literally leaving in a couple weeks oh I want to die. Also Mandip plays this so well !!

I love past companions giving current companions advice inject it into my veins!!

I remember when we saw the Dalek land on Yaz in the trailer I thought it was gonna be fr and 13 was gonna go off tryna save Yaz lmao

The entire scene with 13 and Ryan is God tier. One of my fave eps of the show. The growth from Ryan where he’s now the one making ppl open up, them both knowing shit has changed. I know Thasmin is a thing but low-key I’ve always liked the idea that Ryan is 13’s fave

I don’t know if it’s the intention or not but I wonder if the reason Ryan managed to get that info out of 13 is bc she kinda knew that he was gonna choose to leave anyway and knowing he wasn’t gonna stick around made it easier for her to tell him

I’m a fan of the height difference.

‘one day’ aka literally for four years in series 13 and then for ever in just under two irl weeks

I also love that that scene is Yaz kinda starting to get frustrated with the Doctor not telling her shit and then it continues into S13

This shot? This scene? Chef’s kiss

This is so odd like why did he need to announce that idek. Just feels like a trailer moment. Also I don’t feel too passionate about the fact Jack never died in this ep, like it would’ve been nice but like it’s not the end of the world idk

I don’t get why people care about 13 letting that TARDIS dies or whatever tbh

Robertson is way less annoying in this ep which is weird bc he still feels kinda comically ridiculous idk. But somehow it just works better than in Arachnids

The way she smiles when she comes out of the Ryan hug. Like she’s almost not letting herself be really upset in front of him

remember thinking Ryan and Graham just walking out would be kinda boring but UGH I love it so much and it makes so much sense for their characters to go that way it makes me crazy

Her face in this makes me fucking depressed idek what to say

Such a simple line and yet I am sobbing thank you Chris Chibnall

13 literally considering messing with the timelines to get Ryan and Graham back fucks me up. Also the way Yaz response and the way she says ‘It’s okay to be sad’ is my fave

Ryan and Graham wearing the same outfits as in 11.01 is a bit cringe I can’t lie. I also used to think Grace showing up was really weird but idk, I didn’t mind it this time round

In conclusion, other than the first 8 minutes being an absolute slog that I couldn’t care less about, this ep is chef’s kiss and has so many 10/10 amazing moments. Loved it more than i thought I did tbh

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #yasmin khan #ryan sinclair #graham o'brien #dw meta #nataliechats

[bekkachaos]

For ask game - 3, 11 and 37 🥰

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Nothing specifically comes to mind other than like, obvious no-nos. Although any trope where fulfilling it would drastically change the fundamental aspects of the character/s I just can't do.

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

I mean, why not both? It's always been something I've wanted to do, ever since I was a kid I've wanted to write. But it's also fun (mostly once I've finished writing the thing and can be happy about it 😅). It is a fun passion that I don't think I'd ever be able to stop!

37. Talk about your current wips.

Well thank you for asking Nonnie! I have so many, it's silly, I need to focus on one! But here are some of them:

Buddie

Now I'm new to Buddie, I haven't published any but I have started 3 fics now just to get ideas out of my head!

Grey's Anatomy AU (untitled) - this will be a beast, I've got a hell of a lot of notes already, started my Grey's re-run for inspiration, and 6k words under my belt. Dr Eddie Diaz (aka Dr Dreamy) and intern Buck are burned into my brain already.

Fire up the night (something's burning in me) - this is a story where Buck and Eddie hook up, both a little tipsy, but then Eddie avoids talking about it with Buck because he's scared of changing things, scared of what the whole encounter made him feel and what that means. Buck gets discouraged, and he feels like Eddie regrets it and is embarrassed by it, so he patches things up as best he can and they go on not talking about it, but it doesn't go back to normal. There's going to be a lot of therapy sessions and they're both going on self discovery journeys. Slow burn and miscommunication (aka boys please just tell each other how you feel)!

I think that you (and I) should lose clothing - the 118 attend a rescue at a bar, and the manager thanks them by comping them tickets to the show later in the week. Only he fails to mention the show is a striptease, with the lead being the hottest thing Eddie has ever seen, and the man is stripping out of a fireman's uniform of all things.

Malex

Groundhog Day AU (you're gonna be the one that saves me) - I've been working in the next chapter of this fic where Michael wakes up, meets Alex Manes and has the best date with him, it's perfect and he can't stop thinking about him. So he wakes up the next day and goes to see him, but Alex doesn't remember who he is. He realises that he's woken up on Friday again, repeating the day over and over, and what better way to spend the day that trying to get Alex to fall for him again?

Accompanying Fics for An Oasis in the Stars - I have notes and rough ideas for a series of mini fics set in the universe where the humans crash land on the oasis. Each one would follow a different character (the main fic having centred around Alex and how he was falling for Michael). I'm thinking three mini fics, one each for Liz, Kyle and Michael.

#malex #buddie #ask game #fanfiction #bekka writes #anon #thank you 💕 #i have so many fics on the go i need to get my shit together and finish some #im sorry i said too much about my fics i just love these characters okay?

[starcchild]

how would the events of cacw play out in the ikau then? would she try to convince t'challa not to kill bucky? would she ask natasha to get a team of their own? how would peter parker get involved? bc I don't think she would recruit a 15-year-old like her father did in canon, lmao. also it would be kind of funny that she did so whilst sleeping with quentin aka the person who will try to kill peter in the future. and she's isolated from rhodey who is in the team as well... idk.

((*cracks knuckles* okay, so fair warning this is all still sorta a wip since I need to rewrite the ikau from the beginning, and this may change depending on what happens before it/if I think of something else while writing! And I might be taking a hiatus next week instead of this week to focus specifically on it, but I'm not positive just yet sdfjdf

so, during this time as you've mentioned, Carter is sleeping with Quentin, and their relationship in general is actually gonna play a bit more of a role during this time. He's working for Stark Industries during that time and working on holographic illusion tech, but dreams of being bigger. But... he's limited by SI, because what he wants to do can be weaponizable, and he knows his project will be shut down if he reveals it, so he focuses on what they want instead. He's going for a... I'm going to have my cake and eat it too, kinda deal, where he gets his project with SI created and functional and out in the world, but then on the side, also working on his whole Mysterio thing, since he knows that "superhero" gig will definitely get him the attention he believes he deserves. Now, with Carter, he's absolutely using her, though there... might be some feelings there? It's complicated for both of them, but she doesn't realize he's mainly using her for his own gain, since she has access to tech he doesn't at SI, and she isn't seeing his goal. But, instead of using her to then throw her aside once he gets what he wants, he's trying to loop her into it - that she doesn't need the Avengers, she just needs him, and together, they can be unstoppable. She's confided in him that she feels like she's nothing without the Iron Man mantle, that Ross wants her off the team (which I'll touch upon here in a mo), so he's trying to get her to leave them behind and just be with him - that she doesn't need them if they're going to throw her away like that. But, with her thinking she has feelings for him and with them being fwbs (or fuck buddies, as that one anon so delicately put it dsfgjhfdsjh), her judgement is absolutely clouded, and doesn't see the red flags. But, she is hesitant to accept his offer, and keeps pulling back on that. Never outright refusing, but definitely avoiding. Frankly, the only thing that's keeping Quentin from pushing her aside completely because of her inability to decide is the nature of their relationship, which she also doesn't see. In general, their relationship is unhealthy and there is an imbalance, with Carter... not at all being in the right headspace to be in such a relationship and her failing to seek help and being prone to panic/lash out, and Quentin not really caring about her and using her in more ways than one while being incredibly possessive over her while making it clear she "wasn't his".

as for Rhodey, since I do wanna touch base on him and Carter for a hot sec, her isolation from him at this point is purely self-induced. Obadiah is dead at this point, but... Carter feels betrayed in a sense. In her eyes and from what she's been led to believe, he abandoned her. Twice. Now, currently, im3 happens the same time as cacw in the ikau, but in the rewrite, I'm going to be moving im3 back to when it happens in canon (so post the first Avengers), and Carter and Rhodey kinda reunite in it. It doesn't pan out the same as in canon, but similarly enough in certain aspects, and Carter believes she has her Uncle Rhodey back. That... he didn't mean to leave, and that things were going to be okay again. But Obadiah sweeps in and carefully isolates her once more, and... Carter blames herself. She thinks there's something wrong with her, because why else would Rhodey leave twice? She's angry at him, but mostly at herself, and it's... awkward. It's uncomfortable and everyone can see something's off with them. Rhodey tries reaching out to her following aou with Obadiah dead and him now being part of the team, but Carter pushes him away, and it's not going to be until after cacw do things begin to repair between them. But, with Rhodey joining the team, as well as Vision, Wanda, and Sam, Carter begins to feel expendable. She always felt that way, because Obadiah told her she was and she needed to watch herself, but after having other people join the team who could do what she does or do more, she... realizes she can be replaced, feels like she is going to be replaced, and that really feeds into her relationship with Quentin, since they get together sometime post-aou, though I will say they knew each other beforehand.

now with cacw overall, Lagos still happens, and Carter isn't involved. She's been growing more distant from the Avengers and from her position as Iron Man following aou, but isn't willing to give it up because, it is her identity - she's just more... hesitant about joining missions, and for that, she was assured she wouldn't be needed. That it would be simple enough, and the others could handle it just fine. Which... spoiler, things go very wrong, and it's just the kind of fuck up Ross was waiting for to come swooping in with the Accords. And Carter hates the Accords, but Ross more so. Ross... reminds her too much of Obadiah, and she's terrified of him but refuses to show it. However, despite her fear, she's hellbent on making his visits to the compound hell. She argues with him constantly during the meeting, even despite the others telling her to back off, though it's not really clear if her issues are solely with him, the Accords, or a mixture of both. She's also more volatile during this time in general, and has been since Obadiah's death and since she started seeing Quentin (not that that is known by the others), so her opinion... isn't really regarded as well as it would be if she were more stable/willing to not be as aggressive with him and everyone else. And, with her behavior and seeming inability/refusal to accept blame, Ross outright calls for her resignation. Something she's been terrified of for a long while. It shuts her up real fast, but with a general shock from the others and hesitation as to whether or not it's necessary... pushes her further away from them. But, despite her poor handling of the situation and her opinion generally being viewed as hotheaded, she does raise valid concerns with regards to their safety, the completion of the Accords, and the general issues of the UN handling them/the cooperation of 100+ countries on such a huge thing in such a short amount of time. This post sums up issues with the Accords as a whole and has points Carter would make, though warning for rape and genocide mention. I feel like I've talked about that before a lil more in-depth? but I can't find it rip fsdgjhfds

as for Peter, that's also on Ross. Ross in general has a larger role and is more antagonistic, but not an outright villain. That aside, he brings Spider-Man to the Avengers' attention, doesn't care they literally have no idea who that person is, and tells him this new "hero" is their responsibility now so they better figure it out with the Accords, since Spider-Man would also be affected. Maybe Natasha goes to talk to Peter once they figure out he's Spider-Man, or maybe even Hill idk, but Carter wants nothing to do with bringing a kid onto the team despite becoming an Avenger at 15 herself. But, overall, Carter's... more occupied with her resignation, since she knows that's not a choice like Ross is making it sound, an increasing tension between her and Quentin because he's now getting fed up with her refusal to give him an answer and her emotional baggage, and then the explosion during the UN conference supposedly caused by Bucky Barnes.

Carter knows Bucky was the Winter Soldier. She does not know he caused the death of her grandparents or father. She does not know Steve (and Natasha) are hiding more information from her (and probably the rest of the team by extension) regarding Bucky, despite Carter offering to help Steve's search for him. She may have her issues with the Avengers, both in her head and actual issues, but, again, she cares deeply for them, and does want to help. Because... if she was in Steve's position, and it was with her dad... she'd want the others to help her, too. But she also finds the whole thing... convenient. Because, Bucky, as the Winter Soldier, went decades being a ghost and... he now happens to be caught on camera? He now happens to be caught redhanded on such a huge explosion? It's not adding up but no one cares because, to them, it's incredibly cut-and-dry as to who caused the explosion and why, but she doesn't buy it and, once more, begins to make problems with Ross. She challenges him when she sees him next after Bucky's been detained, pissed off he also detained Steve and Sam in the process regardless of what they did being wrong, and hears alarm bells left and right the moment Bucky is being questioned. Something is clearly going wrong, no one wants to listen to some nineteen/twenty-year-old with anger issues, and then Bucky breaks out. The fights still happen, and I can still see Carter taking Tony's place in which Bucky, who's now wiped, try to kill her but her blocking it with the gauntlet, and then all that going down. Accords be damned, there are bigger issues to deal with involving Bucky, and now Steve and Sam who are off-radar.

but, as much as Carter would like to ignore them, the Accords are still an issue, and the team is heavily divided. Whether or not there's an actual fight between them... I honestly don't know, and I might leave that up in the air to vary from thread to thread. If the battle happens, it'll still be the same lineup team-wise, but Carter's not involved. She will not fight the other Avengers, and what was Team Iron Man is now Team Ross, as the fight is still based around who is for or against the Accords, and whether or not Bucky should be taken in. That's, of course, before it's revealed it was Zemo who wiped Bucky and who caused the explosion like in movie, but if the fight occurs, Carter is elsewhere. Not sure where, possibly either fighting the Accords against Ross elsewhere, or perhaps even dealing with whatever shit is happening with Quentin, but I'm leaning towards the former with struggling to deal with the politics of it all while the rest of the team hash it out. And cause more political problems. Because of course. She gets info on where Steve and Bucky are going from Sam, regardless of whether or not he's in the RAFT, and she follows after them.

in Siberia, Carter convinces Steve and Bucky she's not there to take Bucky back and is there to help them, and heads inside the abandoned facility, fully prepared for the fight of her life. Low and behold, all the other super soldiers are dead, and there's Zemo, hiding behind the viewing room or whatever, and with a little tv sitting out that he wants them to watch. And Carter gets to see the Winter Soldier (since she is aware Bucky is not the Winter Soldier and he was brainwashed into doing shit he had no control over) murder her grandparents, and then sees records of the Winter Soldier being the one responsible for the accident that killed her father and effectively ruined her life. Obadiah's involvement may or may not be revealed then.

Carter. Is. Furious. She's deeply betrayed by the fact Steve hid that from her, and it's the straw that breaks the camel's back. She wants to turn against him and Bucky - to lash out and make them understand how much she's hurting - but she doesn't. She knows better, she doesn't want to be like Obadiah who willingly hurts others, and instead directs her rage to Zemo. She tries shooting the glass he's behind, but it barely manages to stay intact, and she screams at him to come out and face them. Steve tries to talk to her, but she recoils and snaps at him, but then leaves - unable to be there any longer in fear of losing control of herself. T'Challa still realizes he was wrong about Bucky, and still brings him, Steve, and Zemo to Wakanda.

upon arriving back to the States without Steve or Bucky, Carter ignores the Avengers (at least, those who aren't locked up depending on if the fight happened), and is effectively on a warpath. She is going to tear the Accords apart, and is hellbent on bringing Ross down with them, and even her, if it ends up being her last hurrah of sorts. It might not be an actual battle, but she is fed up. She's sick of the politics, sick of being controlled, sick of being lied to... and the Accords are directly in her way. And Obadiah was not a good man, but Carter picked up a few of his tricks, and by digging up some of Ross's shady past (his manhunt for Bruce years ago, because I really have a hard time believing multiple countries would've been cool with the US sending in an army after one person and causing absolute destruction, so I hc that there was a lot of coverup on the US's part and on Ross's part, with the blame of the destruction falling on Bruce/the Hulk), and confronts Ross about it. He believes she's bluffing about having blackmail on him, and dismisses her. Carter shrugs, and the next morning the media is in a frenzy about Ross and the US, and every country in favor of the Accords start panicking. For starters, they were all in shaky agreeance at best because, well... each country had their own agency to begin with, because politics are messy enough in one country, let alone when over a hundred are involved in one thing, and the fact that the man spearheading it all had caused massive destruction in other countries and the US covered it up was not a good look, nor something that was a rallying call, and the Accords fell apart. There was no control, no agreement, and suddenly the Avengers were less of a problem when it felt like it might've been a scheme by the US for further control.

and it's exactly what Carter wanted to happen. She knew the Accords were going to fail eventually, she just... sped things up, and got a little dirty doing so. But... she doesn't feel good about it. She doesn't feel victorious. The Avengers were torn apart, and if the battle happened, she still has to deal with the ramifications of half of them being imprisoned on the RAFT and getting them out, if Steve and Natasha don't break them out a little bit later on. Her anger is gone, and she's... doing worse mentally and emotionally. She feels betrayed and used, and the next time she goes to visit Quentin, things... turn sour real fast. They get into a heated argument when he presses her again about leaving the Avengers to help him, because clearly the Avengers are a lost cause, and it's an epiphany through her paranoia for her because she finally realizes he doesn't care about her and that he was using her for his own gain. She's angry again, but this time far more hurt than angry, and finally ends things, and... realizes she has nowhere to go. No one to turn to.

that's when Rhodey comes back into the picture. Carter finally returns to the compound but is avoiding everyone, simply saying that Steve and Bucky were safe with T'Challa and that Zemo was apprehended, and it's... clear she's not okay. But she lashes out at anyone who won't leave her alone, so no one can really do anything for her, because she won't accept their help. For her, with suddenly feeling like she can't trust any of them and feeling like she doesn't belong, she decides to leave. It doesn't matter where, she's just... going to disappear. Rhodey catches her before she leaves, and although Carter is incredibly standoffish and reluctant to hear anything from him, he convinces her to at least go back to California with him, and... she does. She's broken at this point, and doesn't care about what happens to her anymore. If he's lying to her, fine, she's at least clear across the country from the others and can go elsewhere just fine. But, it's what she needs. Rhodey is able to get through to her, because Carter is desperate for someone to care. It doesn't matter who, she just... needs someone to care, someone who won't give up on her, and it helps that it's Rhodey, because she knew him. He had been there for her when she was a kid before Obadiah got in the way, and she had trusted him fully once before. And then Pepper steps back into the picture, as does Happy, and... Carter finally has that safety net. She has her family back, and she falls apart. It's rough and messy and it hurts, but it's the start of the healing that she desperately needed for years. She's no longer part of the Avengers and is back living in Tony's Malibu mansion (because that never gets destroyed in the ikau, since Carter won't be doxxing her childhood home's address), and is getting the help she needs professionally. She does end up returning to the compound on occasion later once she gets her head on somewhat straight at least, but is more of an engineer. She still has the suit and can fight just fine, but... she finally steps away from it in favor of herself.

also, just to cover it because I have a feeling it'll come up lol, Quentin is still fired from SI, but no one steals his tech. His work, all or some, might legally be under SI name because he worked for them, but that's a big might right there, but, to be blunt, he had his head way up his ass. Considering how he treated William and the others who worked with him in ffh, I'd imagine he had a few complaints against him to HR, and because he tried to have his cake and eat it to, it turned around and bit him instead. With his focus in two different areas, with him favoring his whole Mysterio thing instead of his actual work, he was let go, and Quentin was pissed. He blamed Carter, since it would've happened after she ended things with him, and believes she pulled a few strings for him to be fired, given he was working for her father's company. It doesn't matter she has no involvement in it and literally only shares a name, because he will not take blame for his own mistakes. He blames him, and with her stepping out of the limelight as Iron Man (he knows she was Iron Man, the public does not), he decides it's time for a new hero, and... it goes from there. EDITH isn't a thing, because Carter has no need or want to make such a thing, but Mysterio is, and so is his tech. His buddies are former SI employees who feel slighted by the company, so it all works out. I'm not sure if Carter would get involved or not with the ffh plot, but if she does, it wouldn't be until the final showdown, but Peter's identity wouldn't be revealed to the public, and Spider-Man wouldn't be painted as a villain by Quentin.

also also, because I wanna throw this out there, Carter does end up opening the mansion to the Avengers! It's way too big for just herself, but she doesn't want to give it up, so it's... a home away from home, so to speak, but more as a safehouse!

#((I apologize if I'm missing info I've only seen cacw once and I refuse to watch it again sfdgjhgfsdhj #it wasn't. bad. but I personally found it boring and I'm sick of the infighting sdfgkjhfds)) #asks #anons #ikau things #death tw #abuse tw #car accident tw

[nopethatsnotembarrassing]

Okay last post (maybe)

But I played the Skz Replay on Spotify and it's shuffled and the first thing to play is Zone and I just got so excited. Like the slightly different mixing and did they re-record it like with their now voices or was it just the mix that made it sounds so?

Like I didn't see the track list so I'm just gonna keep being surprised and I love it

-okay so I've decided to let this be the last post and just edit it with the brain goop that happens during the first listen/stream on Spotify

The second song that played is HaPpY and fucking ow (in a good way) but I've always love it cause it reminds me of a friend I miss so.

I don't recognize "Piece of a Puzzle" but I also hadn't been through a lot of Skz Player songs so idk if it is one of the new ones or another old one but I literally have goosebumps...

Why is that how - I can't finish that sentence cause I forgot what I was saying... Run is certainly what my thoughts did away from me...

Oh wow I knew Close before but like two Han songs right after one another with quite different feelings is whiplash lmao

Ice.cream also hurts as much as I remember expecting it to. I was so afraid to listen to it and now I don't have a choice

Doodle immediately made me unsettled but I am really loving it at the same time! My brain has these weird goosebumps cause of being unsettled but also like Jesus is it a good song cx (this still happened the second time hearing it too it's neat.)

Baby bread is somewhat back it seems cause Hug Me is so light 🧡

Lovestay is so pretty and heartwarming as ever I can't exactly focus the best to see if any of it is different tho unfortunately. Sleepy brain is catching up a bit

Up All Night My beloved vampire song about just losing track of time and not sleeping (aka me the last like week). Sounds so much sharper now! So glad this one is now available to listen to on Spotify.

Oh Maknae On Top has finally played !!!!! So so so so so so so glad I can now show people this song on Spotify and have it in playlists. I can't help but smile when I hear it.

The ranges both Changbin and Felix show in Because gives me the sharp kinda goosebumps it's incredible to hear so clearly with all the eq and everything.

Alien. Right after. You know how often I've felt like an alien? I think he nailed the feeling of it. That sad hopefulness. God its so clear now.

Limbo feels like being in limbo it seems both sad and happy. Is incredible. Like happy in spite of being sad and vice versa- sad in spite or being happy. There's a non-English word for that a sad happiness. Charmolypi (I had to look it back up cause I couldn't remember it) Saudade might also apply depending on the meaning of the song.

Okay so I'm back cause I couldn't sleep and I was just sitting here jamming to Drive and then realized "oh shit! This is Spotify!" It sounds even better then I remember

-I finally got sleep and am back to listening and "miss you" came on and it's quite calming? Like of course it seems sad but also like you've accepted what happen and prefer to think of the lighthearted happy times.

I like Love Untold but it's got a similar kinda hopeful sadness? I'm so interested in seeing the translations of all of these tbh.

Oh my god I Connected finally played. The music started and I was like "huh I don't recognize th-" and then Bang Chan's voice was there and I paused out of panic...lmao. as I was listening I was like "I mean it's a bit suggestive yeah but it's kinda sweet! I don't get wheat everyone was talking about!" And then the change happened. But like people are saying it's on par with like Red Lights and Taste in terms of Horny but like maybe this says something about me but I don't think it is? It seems sweeter? Idk

The post glitched out and what I wrote disappeared xc. I did my best to rewrite it...

But am I crazy or was Wish You Back one that was already posted as a Player song? I remember hearing it and being mesmerized by it. Still am.

Okay woah- Deep End is very deep. Like my audio processing is struggling to process it but it's -wow. And the range!!!! Goosebumps and heartbreak

"i hate to admit" right after that? Really likes to do a 1-2 punch huh? Even more beautiful than I remember- maybe that's also cause I've been in my feels about something in the past lately tho too. I love the static recording sound in the end really knocks it home

Then immediately followed by Streetlight?!?!? Spotify is really trying to take me out huh? The song itself is just as beautiful and hopeful sounding as I remember but I'm worried that the ending will be included because that makes it hard to breathe. It wasn't. I don't know if I'm releaved or disappointed, I think it's a bit of both. Cause I will always think it but not hear it.

Stars and Raindrops- both the name and song are very Seungmin and I mean that in the best way. I love it.

I haven't heard I GOT IT to many times but I immediately recognized it as soon as the music started lol, glad it's streamable now.

And with that I have heard the whole album in just under a day thanks to shuffle and needing to do things like sleep and work. Definitely an album that shows the variety they have both as a group and each one individually. It's a very beautiful album that I'm glad we finally have on streaming services!!

#my post #stray kids #skz replay #please ignore me im so sorry its like 3am where i am and i havnt slept yet... #skipping queue #long post #i have been listening and updating for like 2 and a half hours already...wow #i spent a solid 3 hrs listening yesterday before dropping my phone on my face and trying to go to bed lol

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

It's been a long time comiiiing down this rooaaddd. I haven't updated this foreverrr, but I'm doing it nooooooowww! 🎤🎵🎶

Part 23: Movement

"I hope I don't have to jump up here," you sigh gripping the pole to test its sturdiness. It seems strong enough, but then so does the hardwood floor. "I don't have the upper body strength to hold myself up and I definitely don't need to bust my ass in these slippery socks--what," you smile watching Toni bite her lip at your skepticism from Ava's other side.

"Nothing. You have a lot of cushion, you'll bounce back," she gestures eyeing your rear. She's joking but you're serious.

"I'm just saying socks on hardwood with jumping if you're uncoordinated seems like a recipe for disaster."

"You get used to it, stick with us," Ava comforts. Stick with us.. It echoes in your mind. They actually want you there.. continuously.

A small group of women in variety of shapes and sizes, mostly black, gradually takes the remaining poles as the mingling conversations rise. It's a comfortable environment. The sun streams in through the windows bringing in nice natural light. Adjusting the band on your sports bra, you hop but neglect to wrap the pole with your legs. Toni chuckles in good humor.

"Ugh.. I don't know about this you guys."

"It's just a workout, girl, you'll be fine," she waves. "Besides, your NOT sugar daddy will love it when you show him all that assss in motion."

"Oh my God, he's NOT a sugar daddy," you whisper as she mocks you. "Y'all are so aggravating."

"That smile says different.. Just remember to tell me all the nasty gritty details when you throw it back with these moves. Yo' ass got handled before," her nude nails clink against the pole judgingly. They'd lost their minds when you told them about that night in the hotel. You had to tell the story twice because they wanted to visualize it. "He did whatever he wanted to do to that kitty, beat it to high hell. Now YOU are gonna have the power to put it on him. That fatass bunda gone kill him, just wait on it."

Watching your wagon in the full length studio wall mirror you grip the pole to make it wiggle watching it move on your reflection. "I don't know, see, I can move it I just can't move it seductively. I'm kinda stiff."

"She ain't ready for all that yet, Toni, let her take it slow. She can't just jump out there, class ain't even start yet," Ava laughs. "She need the basics."

"I need to learn how to dance," you interject. "Like lap dance and all that jazz.."

"That's simple," a woman's voice cuts in demanding the focus of the room of women who seem to recognize her on entry. Casually, you spin to meet a pair of long toned legs like a gazelle building up to a slender curved shape to be envied.. covered in glowing rich brown skin..

This can't be real, you blink as your mind whisks you back to the fateful day of your meeting each other. The memory is fresh as if it were yesterday.

“What’s your name,” she murmurs, voice as addictive as Erik's. You glance at him and he shrugs leaving the decision of how to respond up to you. When you answer, she recites your name like a poem and you smile. She has a calming effect that puts you at ease and she’s so, so beautiful. She tells you you’re the beautiful one and it makes your face heat. Her fingers lightly brush the warmth of your cheek before moving to her own erect nipples tweaking the silver bars.

“You wanna touch them?” She asks while stepping closer and she reaches out for your hand to pull it to her breast. Your eyes nervously flit to Erik’s and he doesn’t intervene. Not knowing quite what to do you tweak the silver bar and she sighs in pleasure. She moves your other hand to her other breast encouraging you to do the same. Her fingers find your chin again and then she’s close, lips coming in hot. You close your eyes.

Those eyes..

Her black lined cat eyes lock onto yours echoing your shock with a thick and strange energy. She's just as shook seeing you yet she never loses the graceful glide in her step to her teaching pole, glancing evenly from you and squaring her gaze to cover the class.

"Well damn," Ava blurts reading the thoughts of the room as the instructor flips her long high pony of burgundy locs. An exhale is all you muster as your brain thinks of several ways this could end badly.

"Hello my SugarDoll Fitness family," Shay waves to the group in a motion ending with her hand perched cutely nder her chin. It gains an equal positive return from the class.

Smiling just to fit in you look around and nod politely wondering what excuse you could make to Toni and Ava if you leave, especially after Ava just invited you to 'stick with' them. Would the truth suffice or would it bring more unnecessary drama and questions?

Toni and Ava would have a field day if they knew the real nature of your relationship with Erik and Ms. Shay. Last you remember, Shay's pierced nipples were in your between your fingertips. She wanted to devour you whole according to Erik. You haven't even told them you were in the BDSM life yet. They don't even know about the submission thing between you and Erik, they're still stuck on sugar daddy.. It's not something you wanted to share.

That's not something to bring up in this setting..

The way Shay looked at you back then made you feel like she was a starved tigress and you were the live prey, but somehow you were comfortable. She was intense but not intimidating... unlike Erik who initially made you so nervous you couldn't relax. No, she wasn't like that.. It felt more like she was wise beyond her years, but very playful and mischievous.. You'd liked her energy.

Then Erik went and cut her off because of his insane jealousy which was great in the sense that it was one step closer to being his only partner, but dumb in the way that it came about. It's one of his flaws. Erik needs to put his jealousy in check before he does something too impulsive to reverse or gets his feelings hurt.

If he'd never taken you to her home, they'd still have their BDSM dynamic, which brings up the issue of blame. Was it your fault? Does she blame you? Does she even care or miss the man?They seemed to pair well despite his gripes that she was troublesome.

Funny... You'd think he'd love a troublesome woman. He say he like spice and Shay had that with the experience to match, so then why choose you? Why not her over you or her and you? He could've made it work. Something about her being too dominant seems like a copout for him, looking back..

"I see some familiar faces. Faith.. Nicki.. Lynn.. Janell.." Her ruby red lips part in a smile and there's something about the simplest of her motions. Everything is a subtle demand for power.. "I see a lot of new faces too," her eyes roll down the line to yours, lingering briefly like she wants to say much more. Her eyes lower for the briefest of moments and where you anticipated malice, there seems to be none. There's something on her mind instead. 

"You good," Ava nudges your side in question. You flinch slightly but nod. There's something Shay wants to get out but she can't with everyone else present.

"I want us to get to know each other in here as women. We all have our reasons for being here.. Let's go around the room. I'll start," Shay announces with a slow walk to her right, a natural sway to her hips. "As some of you may know, my name is Shayla Berry, Shay for short aka SugarDoll. Yes, I am an exotic dancer. Yes, I am a dominatrix," her eyes roll playfully. "I also paint by trade and teach pole fitness. I am a multifaceted business woman with a flare for the artistic," her black painted fingers flare. "I meditated on having my own successful studio and then I manifested it to reality when I rented this place a few months ago and baby when I tell you the law of attraction works, I am flourishing."

She gestures to her right and the introductions begin from the repeat students as well as the new. There's a teacher and a nurse present. Everyone's common goal seems to boil down to exploring their sensuality while having fun with dance and getting in a good workout.  Then there's Toni. She's a traveler, which you knew. She likes to shop and eat. What you didn't know was that she is also a pilot and works 100 hours a week max. As for Ava, you knew she was originally from the ATL and lived a sugar baby life, but you did not know that she was raised amongst strippers and that she's also an audiologist. She had to explain to the class what an audiologist was.

"And you?" Shay's fiery eyes focus in as she takes a half step towards you.

"Y/N," you say as if she doesn't already know. She knows more than Toni and Ava, she saw your whole coochie for the sake of giving you a biology lesson. Embarrassing.. "I'm from Cali.. born and raised. I don't travel that often, but I'd love to go to Europe.. I love movies, it's really all I do.. watch movies, sleep, and work.. I work in cybersecurity."

"You prevent hackers?" Ava's neck cranes and you nod as she gives a look of approval.

"This is probably messed up," you pause as she and Toni both look up, "But I don't know why I assumed you two were spending men's money in the mall when we met," you whisper feeling superficial. Just because they're universally gorgeous like celebrities doesn't mean they aren't successful outside of that and able to afford the finer things on their own accord. You can do both.

"..We were," Ava shrugs simply. "My money stay in my savings.. I haven't paid a bill with my own money in two years."

"Work smarter not harder babe," Toni smirks. "You oughtta know."

"That's just it, I don't know because that's not something I've experienced because Erik and I are friends with benefits..," you sigh. "A lot of benefits..."

When introductions wrap up, the lesson starts and Shay jumps right into it with terminology foreign to you.

"This is a mixed pole fitness class.. So go ahead and face your poles, we're going to start with some body rolls. Hands low on the pole like so," she demonstrates. "Roll it out." Her body waves in a fluid S motion. "Chest, abs, hips... Chest, abs, hips.. Let it roll, smoothly down to the floor and up. Y/N, get on your tiptoes, baby. Lexi, get your arms involved. Stick that ass out, don't be scared.. Perfect. I'm watching all of y'all," she says pointedly. "..Again."

You watch and try your best to duplicate, your S moreso a stiff Z and she switches her hand position to the top of her pole.

"Now we're gonna walk around and this helps loosen the joints. Think tight and tall as you stride around the pole on those toes. I don't want any flat feet. Keep on your imaginary heels, Y/N," he blinks your way. "Now stop on the side and circle those hips." Her hips rotate as though they're on a swivel.

When you look to Toni and Ava, they're already moving like pros which tells you they do this often. They travel together, shop together, share life, and take classes like this together. They're already extremely close. It's surprising they'd think to invite you into their circle..

"Outside arm and leg sweeps back, across the floor, sweep out and back."

"Like you're swimming," someone adds.

"Exactly, like you're swimming. Next move, grab that knee, pull it up and out, soft hands, open that chest, roll it back... same leg flick the toe and kick forward."

"I can't go that high," the same woman from before says."

"That's fine, go to where you're comfortable. Lunge back same leg.. and we're going to repeat the process with the other leg."

The routine goes on minutes more until she gets to a pirouette which is a more familiar term. Unfortunately, that's followed by slow pushups which, of course, doesn't happen. Toni uses her knees, but Ava does the full set of pushups. She's the only one.

"Showoff," Toni mutters.

The next moves require a lot of knee pivoting and borderline twerking in slow motion. You feel the workout in your thighs, your knees, your abs, and your back. It's only been fifteen minutes out of the hour and you're stopping for water. Some of the motions have been easy to grasp, but some have been frustrating. It's only my first time, you remind yourself.

Thirty minutes in, you've developed an idea of how to move and what to incorporate into your sex life.. when it revives. Putting the moves together into a routine is the current issue.

"I could do some of this," you say to Ava. "I just wish I could borrow some of your core strength."

"You'll get it with time, stay consistent. I'm holding you to it."

"Y/N," Shay calls out as she body rolls and raises her leg high. "What's this about you not knowing how to dance, mama?"

"Huh," I pause standing straight. She remembered. "Well I can dance. I can do the nae nae and the little tiktok dances, but this..," I gesture to the pole. "This is a different story. I guess I'm not the seductive type."

"Have you ever had sex?"

The question cuts and you feel all eyes glued on you. She must know that you and Erik have already.. on multiple occasions...

"....Of course."

"Then... you're the seductive type," she says simply. "Dance is a style of communication. It's about movement and seduction." She comes close and her finger gently snakes your collarbone as she circles you, standing directly behind, her slim hands on your waist.

"We really need to talk.. later," she whispers quietly in your ear. Her hips line up with yours, her center against your ass, and she winds. "If you can walk, you can dance, Y/N. If you can dance, the seduction is that much easier.." This time her words are addressed to the class. Her hips guide yours against the pole as she grinds against it through you. "Follow my rhythm."

You move exactly as you feel her move, in a groove, and after a few moments when you've perfected the body roll she backs up. When you do it on your own in the mirror, you have the S shape down pact.

"That's it, I'm coming back," you smile at the pole. At the end of class you're sore and tired but excited to have picked up some tricks. Meeting Shay's eye, you excuse yourself briefly from Ava and Tony with the excuse of asking about her paintings. "Shay," you whisper once you're close and she leads you out of the space.. far.. all the way outside before she looks around. There's no one standing out nearby, only well groomed trees and sidewalk with some grass and a parking lot.

"How have you been," is the first thing she asks as if she's truly concerned. Her eyes convey a lot.

"Why?.. I'm good," you stare echoing her strange expression. She's having a tough time saying what she wants to say.. she's pausing a lot, hesitating.

"Shay, what's wrong.. I get the feeling you want to tell me something but you're conflicted. I swear I won't run tell Erik.. whatever it is.."

"You're still with him," her brows rise in shock. "Okay so he was serious.. Did he ever mention.. anything about, um.. our last meeting together?"

"You guys had sex one last time, I know about it."

She takes a deep unsteady breath and instantly I know there's more to the story than what he said. She looks around again as if she's nervous.

"He didn't mention anything about.. himself?... As far as what he does...?"

"Hm? Well, yeah, he told me he does the video game thing. We just went to Texas-"

"That's-," she pauses with her mouth wide as if she's deeply confused. "Um.. you know what. Just... be careful okay? Take care of yourself."

"What?" Of all the random things to say. "What are you talking about? Wait," you grab her shoulder as she's walking off. "I feel like you're trying to tell me something about him and I wish you'd just spit it out.."

"Well look at you, definitely got bolder," her eyes flick up and down you. "Actually, it's nothing.. I just wanted to check on you.. make sure you were doing alright, that's all," she smiles, but it doesn't touch her eyes. "I'm going back inside to make sure no one has any further questions for me."

Letting her go, you watch her and something doesn't sit right. She wasn't telling you something and you don't know what that something is, but it's making your mind spin. Ava and Toni come out and walk toward you.

"She showed me one of the paintings in her car," you lie though you're not sure why, it just comes out and they accept it moving on. They have plans to get massages and you're invited there too. The three of you get the full body massage and it's relaxing after all that exercise. When you finally leave them and get to Erik's you OD on water, eat, shower, and watch TV upstairs until you pass out sleep.

The next day, they contact you on your lunch break and actually meet you for brunch, happy to see where you work. You have to apologize to Tanner for canceling lunch plans with him. He's so used to eating with you and vice versa. You've gotten used to looking into his pretty blue eyes. At least he gets to meet Toni and Ava briefly and they call him white chocolate which he eats up. You throw subliminals that maybe he and Toni should hook up but neither seem truly interested outside of surface good- natured flirting.

The following day after work is the beach. The three of you sunbathe while sharing stories about family and teen years. "This is the life," you jest laid back on your towel with your sunglasses on feeling warm and toasty. "I've been missing this. I need to meet more people to do things like this with, I get tired of sitting home alone."

"Aww. I don't wanna leave you here by yourself. I wish we didn't have to leave Cali or maybe you could come south with us," Toni says, but it's not realistic. They can afford to travel all the time but you have to work. When they do leave, you see them off.

-----

"I asked for chocolate," Erik grumbled laid out in his hospital bed six weeks into bed rest. They'd given him vanilla snack pack and he hated vanilla.

"Here you go," his nurse teased, used to his temper. "Stubborn ass.. I will personally bring you your chocolate pudding."

"Two.. and take this nasty one with you," he hudged it toward her. She laughed. 

"Baby you can eat all the chocolate pudding you want when you up outta here. You finally got the go ahead as long as you stay the fuck off that damn leg.. Don't kiss your teeth, you've been doing everything short of p90x up in here."

"I wasn't on my leg though, those were upper body workouts.."

"You still need to relax."

"Hell yeah.. soon as I get my pudding.."

She shook her head, amused. Erik knew that once he left she'd think of him still. She was pretty nice though, so maybe he'd think of her too.. just maybe. He thought of telling her the truth before leaving... Perhaps he'd be there if she ever needed someone permanently removed from her life at a discounted rate..

@soufcakmistress @itsiesha @ju5tp34chy @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @blackpantherimagines @blackpinup22 @muse-of-mbaku @goddessofthundathighs @panthergoddessbast @thadelightfulone @misspooh @marvelmaree @youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @theunsweetenedtruth @bidibidibombaclaat @myboyfriendgiriboy @dameshaemonique @hidden-treasures21 @mysidefanting @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @syndrlla97 @winteroflife @thotyana-in-this-hoe   @texasbama @gingerylimonte @princessstevens   @magic-madness-heavensin @wawakanda-btch @wakanda-inspired @blackgirloneshots @thegucciwaffle @thiccdaddy-mbaku @purplehairgawdess @indigoxsummers @cccccx1   @dynastylnoire @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @they-call-me-le @theblulife @raysunshine78 @sheisexcellent-blog

#original #erik killmonger #killmonger #erik stevens #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik stevens au #black panther killmonger #black panther fanfiction #house rules

[nachosncheeze]

Music of Blindspot

The music of Blindspot 2x10 - Nor I, Nigel, AKA Leg In Iron

Another one that's several weeks delayed, but I'm still catching up on the rewatch, and honestly this episode is SO INTENSE that it's hard to focus on any one thing at any moment!

This week's post is fairly short and mostly nonsense. This ep has a lot of borrowing and recycling of sounds from different season 1 tracks and although they're largely in bigger, more identifiable chunks than previous season 2 episodes, there's very little that strikes me as particularly compelling in terms of themes. I feel like I should state again that I'm by no means a music critic, composer, or anything remotely in that realm, but my impression as a Dork Who Likes Soundtracks is that they were probably going more for feelings and ambiance rather than actual callbacks and references. Either that or the holidays and omicron have rotted my brain (eminently possible tbh), because if they're there, I'm not hearing them this week. Links will be sparing but there'll be at least a couple.

As always, all music is composed by Blake Neely and Sherri Chung; I’m getting nothing out of this except an excuse to re-watch with my own little auditory memory mini-game. Please don’t do anything shady with the YouTube links; I don’t want to get the OPs in trouble or we could lose access to this awesome content. Also note that linked music recycled from season 1 was released on an official soundtrack, which is still purchasable on iTunes etc. And it's good to support the things we love! :D

Post is behind a cut, because it’s long and at this point, almost entirely spoilers. :D

~~~~~

When Thornton is confessing to Patterson (tied to a table) about why he joined Sandstorm - for his late wife - the music is not the same but reminds me a lot of Ultimate Polygraph in 2x01 - different melody but similar sound/instruments/structure from the moment when Nas asked about Oscar, and Jane's (tied to a chair) confession really got underway. This comment means absolutely nothing, I just thought it's neat. There are a lot of instances of "similar but different" between Jane and Borden apart from their shared history; for example Patterson's attempt to arrest him at the end of the previous episode ("FBI, you're under arrest... whoever you are") struck me as a really similar vibe to "So if Taylor Shaw is dead, who the hell are you?" at the end of 1x23.

The fight in the diner is a veritable root veg mash of season 1 fight scene sounds. I'm not gonna try to tease that apart, but if you think it's funky try tracks from season 1 like "Field Trip" or "Exploding Art" or "No Love in an Elevator".

We're still getting a lot of Torn Apart sans "The Truth Can Save You" (season 1) elements. On first watch, it was around this point where I really started to think of Torn Apart as the "Roman and Remi" theme specifically as opposed to "Jane is conflicted" or "Jane's past/family" more generally, because it increasingly centers around Roman and ditches the "Jellery" bit.

So here's something not really related to this episode but I don't know why I haven't said before now (and it's gonna get weirder the longer I put it off... really I should do a season 1 OST post at some point): when I say "Jellery" bit, I'm of course referring to elements (esp. perc) borrowed from The Truth Can Save You, which we call the Jeller Theme because it tends to come up whenever Jeller are having Very Emotional Shippy Moments. But Torn Apart isn't the first track to borrow it: you can hear a variation on the same underpinning "Learn to Trust" (also from the season 1 OST)... which is the piece from the end of 1x11 when Jane goes to meet Oscar for the first time... and that borrowed "Jellery" bit I keep referring to kicks in right when she's at the crossroads deciding whether to go to the park or to the tower.

When Shepherd first starts interrogating Patterson - There's nothing I'm picking up on here specifically that's of note, but I'm listing it anyway because it (especially the piano near the end, as she's first introducing the needle) very vaguely made me think of Departed Host and I got nostalgic and wanted to highlight that amazing track because imo it's one of the best standalones from S1 and everyone should listen to it absent the dialogue at least once. That is a run-on sentence and a half and my English teachers would be scandalized, so I may as well compound their suffering by continuing this sentence ad infinitum as well, and tell you that's the piece from the end of 1x20 that covers the montage of Mayfair's hotel suite date with Alexandra, Jeller and Sawyer playing Uno, Jane spying on Oscar, and Mayfair discovering Alexandra's body.

#blindspot #blindspot 2x10 #blindspot rewatch 2021 #blindspot rewatch #blindspot ost #music of blindspot #blindspot s2 spoilers #i was hungry when i proofread this okay? #i have half-assed #nachos blindspot oc

[sevvie-posts]

Halo watches TFTSMP: Wild West

I wasn't able to catch the stream when it happened so here I am watching it back. I figured I'd make notes as I watch on all of my thoughts about it. Let's go!

Also this is a long post and I'm on mobile and it won't let me add the read more thing.

Karl looks so fucking good oh my god I'm gay he's so attractive how does he do that.

I'm trying so hard to focus on his talking but he's so pretty and I am fragile.

Around the same time as the Masquerade? Nice 👀 I love some past stuff.

The little swirly transition thing is so cool holy shit nice.

RANBOO: *DOES ANYTHING* /// ME: I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

Sapnap being here also makes me unbelievably happy thank you Sapnap for existing.

Ranboo really is just doing his best huh— "... Sir please :/"

Not me already falling in love with Sapnap's character haha oh no is this gonna leave me feeling sad again.

Ranboo's character name is John John ok cool. Quackity is Jack Kanoff and that makes me feel several emotions. Sapnap is Mason (OK I like this one it's cute,,). Connor is just Connor thank you for existing Connor.

This has been like 6 minutes of them trash talking each other it's very funny to me.

"It's not just a threat, it's a promise." Karl I would die for you.

John I think you get murder rights. You can have a little murder as a treat.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO—" *clears throat* "What do you mean I'm not old enough to be a bartender?"

THE PRIEST DIED? RIP I GUESS

"hell probably be back in 3 days, it's fine" I'M WHY IS HE SO FUCKING FUNNY

TUBBO WORKS IN THE BANK TUBBO OWNS THE BANK TUBBO HAS A BEE TUBBO OH MY GOD

BANKING BEE

Tubbo's character name is Percy I like that.

The bandits killed Percy's cat of course. Sapnap is one of the bandits. It all makes sense now.

TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO

"MONEY!" "... Very good."

Techno is Sheriff Sherman Thompson (?)

CROPS

He's done WHAT

Well we found the priest I guess?

"If you can promise me one of their heads, I'll help you :)"

Hi Crops I love you.

"For now I am satiated."

Any time Corpse speaks I am happy.

"Oh that's where the orphan went."

I CANNOT BREATHE

"My god he counts."

FUNDY LMAO I LOVE YOU

Fundy is called Ron Ronson (Son of Ron) but you can call him Michael :)

Everything Fundy has said so far has been so fucking funny.

NOOOOO THE BEE

BAD HI I LOVE YOU

Bad's character is called William Williamson (I am really recognising a trend here).

The 69 joke oh my god.

Someone please feed Crops he's hungry.

"For the right price money can buy anything :)"

"Canonically guns are a one hit kill no matter what."

"I would hate dying."

Michael I'm—

NATURAL SELECTION.

"Crops ate the towns only doctor last week."

"It seems this is not safe."

"Great shot. Great shot. Great shot. Almost great shot. Great shot. Almost great shot. Almost great shot."

"I'm only one week from retirement." is now my new excuse for anything.

"It's getting late."

"John, you young looking bartending man."

John can have a little murder as a treat :)

Hmm I am... Not enjoying the fact that someone I love might die today :)

I genuinely so attached to this little group I don't know what I will do if any of them die please I love them :(

Crops I love you please do not die thank you.

John has a very steady hand.

"Ranboo." "Who's Ranboo?" "Fuck. John."

Connor running while the other two have horses I'm yelling.

The fact Karl and Mason haven't flirted yet is wild to me do I really have to make this content myself because I will.

The entire chat: "MASON MY BELOVED"

"Are you trying to manipulate me." JACK'S ACCENT IS GONE LMAO

Connor disconnecting I'm—

"I'm not gonna judge you I'm just gonna shoot you in the face."

Crops my beloved

Crops and Jack flirting lmao

IT'S HIIIIIGH NOON

Update Connor is also called Flint now apparently. I'm not gonna question it.

"owo" "that's my favourite"

Bye Connor aka Flint we miss you.

"Crops you're irredeemably bad" it's ok I love him

"you called me your man" *kiss*

Crops,,,, my beloved,,,,,

"You have a nice ass." "Bad shot."

"You're making it sound like I'm gonna die."

Crops please live I will in fact cry.

"He's one of them atheists."

Jack: *kiss* // Crops: you son of a bitch

JACK DIED OK COOL

EVERYONE IS LOSING THEIR MINDS THIS IS SO FUCKIGN FUNNY I DON'T THINK THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

"Mason you have no friends anymore and you're ugly."

"I bet you miss Jack Kanoff."

John :(

John my heart.

John I am empty inside come back I already miss you.

WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MUCH MILK.

Karl please shoot him please shoot him please shoot him please shoot Mason please.

GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM

Enemies to lovers Mason and Karl

"YOU KILLED THE MAN THAT MADE THAT MILK"

This is now a milk drinking competition

Karl looks so lost

"I can't wait for the life to leave your pretty, pretty eyes." OK there's the flirting but also that was a threat. Hot.

"What comes after six?"

Karl just killed a man.

Crops heavy breathing as he runs away with Mason's head.

"I ain't ever seen a horse go to church."

OK he's time travelled again and now I am afraid of what lore is about to happen.

The in between is so fucking pretty?

MULTIPLE KARL'S MULTIPLE KARLS

I feel so many emotions right now.

Every time Karl says "This is the best episode so far" and every time he is correct

Don't stray from the path

#my post #tales from the smp

[thefanficmonster]

Hey Vy! 📚🌻 Here!

How is your week going? My roller skates just got here and I'm so happy omg! My protective gear haven't got here yet so I'm trying not to fall but a almost hit my face so many times- i have to stop for some time now because I need to clean my room :_: but here's your three words of this week: Paradise, curly, radio

A lot a lot looot of loveee,

📚🌻.

Hi darling 📚🌻 !

Please be extra careful until your protective gear arrives, I'd hate to hear you've injured yourself 🥺 Anyways, hope you have fun with your roller skates (always stay safe though)! 🥰

Here comes a short drabble with your three words! This one’s gonna be a little different though - no OCs and not for the Resident Evil fandom, but rather the How To Get Away With Murder fandom, more specifically - for my favorite relatioship/characters on the show! Hope you enjoy!

All my love, Vy 💌

Better

Laurel Castillo x Frank Delfino (How To Get Away With Murder - AU: Canon Divergence; AU where the characters tolerate each other XD)

Warnings: Slight spoilers (Nothing too major though), Swearing

Laurel runs a hand through Chris’ curly hair, admiring how peaceful he looks now that he’s finally asleep. He’s got a fever that’s been giving him crying fits for two days now. Having to deal with a sick two-year-old while simultaneously trying to keep up with work and her final studies has been exhausting to no end. She’s been receiving some help from Michaela who seems utterly desperate to keep herself busy at all times, even when she’s supposed to be relaxing just so her mind doesn’t spiral into the void of loneliness she’s fallen victim to as of recent. Connor and Ollie have babysat for her a few times as well, another gesture she’s incredibly grateful for. Asher has offered to look after the toddler too on numerous occasions but that’s one offer Laurel’s never taken up. She appreciates him offering her his help, but everyone would justify this action of hers considering how reckless Asher can be at times - aka 90% of the time.

The Keating 5 has come through for her when it comes to both looking after Chris and keeping up with her studies, proving their friendship to be  one of those rare ones. However, Keating 5 aside, she’s received the most amount of help from one particular person. Someone who’s prepared to turn up at her doorstep at three in the morning if she needs him.

Frank Delfino

The two had a rocky start, to say the least. Their on-again-off-again relationship as colleagues with benefits. Their constant back and fourth. Then came Frank’s disappearance and Laurel’s involvement with Wes, all occurrences blowing huge holes not only in their romantic relationship but also their friendship which has always been a second away from ceasing to exist, all things considered. Friendship is hard to maintain with such a strong, hypnotic and magnetic romantic connection. Some people just weren’t meant to be friends, ever. Frank and Laurel are among them.

Speaking of Frank, the man’s been rather concerned lately, the lack of calls and messages from Laurel worrying him more with each passing day. He overheard Michaela mention Chris’ fever in passing conversation with Asher when she was bailing on a date with the excuse of helping Laurel look after the sick toddler. He’d been surprised to hear that, initially thinking it was a cheap excuse of Michaela’s to avoid spending time with Asher considering things between them have grown sort of complicated. But when Connor confirmed this claim of hers, Frank couldn’t help but grow very concerned. He’s grown used to knowing what’s going on with Chris and Laurel before everyone else so having someone else be in the know while he was kept in the dark made him feel oddly jealous and hurt.

And he could only hold his worries and assumptions at bay so long...

Responding to the knock at the door, knowing who it probably is at this hour, Laurel contemplates whether opening the door would be the right thing to do. She’s double-checked that it is indeed him, that bringing her more uncertainty than comfort, oddly enough. She’s been doing her best to distance herself from him and his life for quite a while now. She’s been meaning to give him an opportunity at a normal life, away from her mess and chaos. She’s been wanting to give him an escape from the fiasco she always finds herself dragging him into.

But he still comes back to her, by his own choice.

“Laurel, it’s me.“ His coarse voice reaches her from the other side of the door.

“Yeah...“ She trails off, forcing her hand up to turn the lock, “...I know.“

Opening the door reveals the concern on his face a lot better than she saw through the peephole. It makes her heart swell up and all she wants to do is throw her arms around him in a tight embrace. But she can’t do that, she won’t. She’s not willing to give him any reason to hold onto her whatsoever. In her eyes, he deserves a lot better. And maybe he does, but he doesn’t want anything or anyone better.

“Hey...“ he mutters, unsure of how to start of the interaction. Things have never been easy between them and, looking back, it seems like they’ve only gotten harder. Somehow, their connection has only grown stronger though. A connection he wants to uphold and a connection she wants to sever.

“Hey...What are you doing here so late?“ Ok, that’s a sustainable question considering it’s 10PM, but then again he’s come to her apartment at odder hours. Only difference is, those other times, she called him over.

“Though I’d check on you. You’ve been rather dead with calls and texts recently. Also missed Chris, heard he had a fever so I got worried.“ She hears the undertone of accusation in his voice loud and clear. It makes her bite her lip with guilt she wishes she wasn’t feeling, especially when she’s supposed to be doing the right thing.

You can’t decide for him. If he wants to keep coming back, that’s on him.

That thought hasn’t crossed her mind yet. It almost feels like she’s letting herself off the hook, feeding into the temptation to embrace what her and Frank have.

“You hungry?“ Now that is a bit more out-of-place question, but it’s accompanied by her taking a step back to allow him inside, “I ordered Thai food I never got to finish.“

He follows the signal, growing a bit more hopeful now that she’s let him in the apartment, thinking maybe she isn’t avoiding him after all. “Loss of appetite?”

“Partly.“ She replies, hearing the click of Frank locking the front door before following her in the kitchen where the hanging lights are dimmed. “Chris was throwing a fuss all day, I couldn’t really do much but focus on him.“ She motions to the living room where the coffee table is littered with sheets of paper and highlighters, some of which have found a spot on the floor as well. “Not to mention the ton of crap I need to do for school and work.“

“Would’ve been a lot easier on you had you called me, you know?“ He comments, walking over to the fridge, taking out the two packs of Thai takeout, suggesting she had been expecting him. She wasn’t really, she was just quietly hoping he’d show up at her doorstep.

“Didn’t wanna bother you. It’s nothing serious, a simple cold, I can handle it.“ She replies, approaching the small vintage radio in the corner of the kitchen counter, turning it on to a quiet volume so some tunes could fill the silences that are bound to occur frequently with the amount of tension between them.

“You could never bother me, Laurel. I’ve told you countless times before...“ putting the food he’s now moved onto a large plate into the microwave and turning the machine on, he turns to look at her, “I love Chris like he’s my son. In my eyes, he is my son and I love him with all my heart. Just like I love you.“

Instead of allowing the deafening quiet to take over them again - the soft music from the radio aside - Laurel lets the loudness of her mind surface. She lets it seep through the barriers she built in order to protect herself and protect everyone around her from herself: “Do you never stop to think you deserve better, Frank? Better than some grown-ass woman with her life in shambles and a kid whose father’s dead. Do you not think you deserve someone who knows what they want and where they’re headed with their life? Someone who...” her confidence is slowly leaving her to fend for herself and so she does, the best she can. “Someone who can cook and do their projects and work and take care of her son simultaneously. Someone better, Frank! Do you never want someone better?”

She hadn’t realized her eyes had been darting all over the place, looking everywhere but at him. How that her gaze has once again landed on his face, she feels her stomach turn at what she sees. That concerned, hurt and disappointed frown only further fuels her guilt, making her wish she’d never opened the door in the first place.

“Laurel, where’s this all coming from? Did Bonnie say something to you cause if she did...“ she cuts him off.

“No, she didn’t. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now actually. All I am to you is trouble and a burden and...“ he gets back at her, cutting her off himself.

“And you’re none of those things, Laurel. Your view of yourself is interfering with your perception of this, of us, of what we have. You and Chris are my family. The family I choose. It’s not about deserve or idealism - it’s about what brings you joy and makes you feel complete. What and who makes you feel at home. Who is your home.“ Always cautious of her personal space, Frank takes a hesitant step towards her and another when she doesn’t back away. “Lord knows it’s no paradise, but what we have is special, Laurel, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world.“

Against her best attempts at keeping her emotions at bay, Laurel feels her eyes brimming with tears as she gazes up at the man she’s never been in the clear with. She never realizes what he means to her until it’s too late. She only realized she loved him when he disappeared. She only realized he meant the world to her when he had already slipped from her grip. And she refuses to continue that pattern.

Instead, she’ll work on finding out what they are exactly and even if she doesn’t reach that epiphany, she’ll still embrace it, no matter the oddity and unfamiliarity of it all.

“Thank you.“ she manages to whisper past the knot in her throat.

“Don’t thank me, you should never thank me for the things I do for you or Chris. I choose to do them. I choose to be here. I choose you because I want you. You and no one else, Laurel.“

Just then, the microwave beeps, alerting the two that their close-to-midnight meal is warmed up. Taking the plate out and placing it on the counter to cool down a little, he turns to her with a small smile on his face, “Let’s see what’s so troubling about that project of yours, shall we?”

And just like that, the tension has lifted, allowing for a smile to appear on her face as well. That ease of the mind is not something she’s been very used to throughout her life, constantly having shit to worry about and people to deal with. That’s why she’s never wanted to be a burden on someone’s back. She’s never wanted to be a major part in someone’s life, at least not until she gets her shit together.

And although she might never get her shit together, she’s got someone she loves and someone who loves her by her side. Lord knows he hasn’t been on top of his own shit either. At least they’ll be figuring it all out together.

#how to get away with murder #htgawm #htgawm season 1 #htgawam #htgawm season1 #htgawm season 2 #htgawm season 3 #frank x laurel #laurel castillo #flaurel #frank delfino #michaela pratt #connor walsh #wes gibbins #bonnie winterbottom #annalise keating #asher millstone #sam keating #rebecca sutter #eve rothlo #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #au #fix it au #fix-it #request #requests open #3 word challenge #laurel x frank

[asheskies-writing]

An Update on Things!

Hey everyone, I know I've been relatively infrequent lately with writing. I've been experiencing a few blocks due to... well, a lot of things.

So, for now, here's the status of all my works.

Chrysalis: So, if you're following me for Chrysalis, I'm so so sorry that updates have been so infrequent. I've been needing a break from the High School AU setting, and also from focusing on Weiss as a character. The fic has not been abandoned, but it has been shelved for the moment and I apologize.

Holding the World On Their Shoulders: I just got past a writer's block with this one, and should be hopefully getting back into updates here soon! I apologize cause it's been several days now without an update, I've been wanting to step away from the darker tone of the fic long enough at least to have something happier in my mind (that also doesn't deal with intense transphobia because HTWOTS kinda does), which leads me to-

The Pirate AU, AKA Casting a Line: So, uh... yeah, this is a thing now. This has had my attention for the most part over the last, like, week. I've been wanting something a bit more upbeat and fluffy, something that also focuses on May actually being around the Happy Huntresses, since HTWOTS pulls her away from them and takes her on her own journey. So... this story is now in development, with me hashing out plot details and stuff so I can start working on it. Currently, I project that I'll hopefully have the first full chapter out within a week, but i don't wanna guarantee anything.

As far as anything else goes, I've got a lot of ideas pretty consistently bouncing around in my adhd brain, but I don't wanna have too many projects going on at once, so my focus is gonna be on this trio for a while.

Thank you all for your patience, and I look forward to bringing you more fanfic.

#mhunter99 #rwby lepidoptera au #rwby chrysalis au #rwby pirate au