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space--cadet-glow · 5 years

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Theory: The Odd Headcanons of Vaati, Part Fifty-six: Sing a Song of Six-Sins

There are a few songs I associate with Vaati in some fashion, whether they be for his character, for his mindset, for his story/plot, or for a mixture of all of the above. Just what songs are they?

Here is the list, which is way longer than I thought it would be (and most likely would be longer if I hadn't told myself to stop)...

1. "Primadonna" by Marina and the Diamonds 2. "Wrapped Around Your Finger" by The Police 3. "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by The Charlie Daniels Band 4. "Too Much of Anything" by The Who 5. "Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up)" by Florence and the Machine 6. "Shampain" by Marina and the Diamonds 7. "Chains" by The Beatles 8. "The Air that I Breathe" by The Hollies 9. "I Don't Even Know Myself" by The Who 10. "Written on the Wind" by Roger Daltrey 11. "Walking on Air" by Kerli 12. "Oh No" by Marina and the Diamonds 13. "Almost Human" by Voltaire

Now, for WHY. 1. "Primadonna" by Marina and the Diamonds Quick story time. A storyboard-like thing/project I did all the way back in 2015 featured the very first time I ever drew Minish Vaati AND Hylian Vaati. And the song that that storyboard was set to was none other than "Primadonna" by Marina and the Diamonds. And the reason I did it was because the lyrics- like practically ALL of the songs on this list- fit Vaati's attitude quite well. That's why. Highlights include: "All I ever wanted was the world", "I can't help that I need it all", "I know I've got a big ego/I really don't know why it's such a big deal, though", "And I'm sad to the core, core, core", and this entire section: "Get what I want 'cuz I asked for it/But not because I'm really that deserving of it/Living life like I'm in a play/In the lime-light, I want to stay". ...Funnily enough, Vaati practically IS a spoiled primadonna. A "Primadonna Mage", as I called my storyboard, after all!

2. "Wrapped Around Your Finger" by The Police I've mentioned this technically twice. The first time extensively in Part Forty-seven of my "Irony of Vaati" theory series, where I dissected the song bit-by-bit because of how incredibly well it fit for Vaati- and the second time briefly in Part Fifty of this theory series. Essentially, the song reads like a literal retelling of "The Minish Cap" (even though the song came first), all the way down to odd, minute details like "shining band of gold" (which, for example, could be the brim to the Magic Hat or even the Light Force, etc). Highlights include: THE ENTIRE DARN THING. LITERALLY. Especially: "You consider me the young apprentice", "I have only come here seeking knowledge", "I will listen hard to your tuition/You will see it come to its fruition", "Devil and the deep blue sea behind me/Vanish in the air, you'll never find me", and the most eerie of them all: "I will turn your face to alabaster/When you'll find your servant is your master". ...I tried to storyboard this one, but never got it finished. And I still like to think that there was a Police fan in either Nintendo or Capcom's offices.

3. "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by The Charlie Daniels Band ...I can explain. Remember Part Two of this theory series, in which I pointed out my headcanon that Vaati played the fiddle? BLAME THIS SONG. And my tendency to storyboard the oddest things. Really, the only way this matches is for the fact that Vaati transfigures himself into a demon- a stand-in for the Devil here. That and the arrogant nature of the Devil's portion of the song. Highlights include: " 'Cuz I think I'm better than you", "I'll start this show", and unfortunately for Vaati, "The Devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat". And I even put "Minish Cap" Link as a stand-in for Johnny! Gee, what is wrong with me?

4. "Too Much of Anything" by The Who Another one of my (completed) storyboarded ideas. For Vaati over-exerting himself and ending up further ostracising himself from everybody else by metaphysically becoming 'better' than them (via the Magic Hat and later, the Light Force, that is). Highlights include: "I think these eyes have seen a lot/I don't know, maybe they've seen too much", "Hmm, there's something in the air", and "I think your ears hear a whole lot of music/And like me, they've heard a bit too much". Sort of along the lines of, he let his bad thoughts lead him too far down the wrong path and he just kept going along with it because he had managed to convince himself that being evil was what he truly wanted. Poor Vaati.

5. "Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up)" by Florence and the Machine You can blame my 12th Grade Environmental Science teacher- of all people- for this one. He was the one who introduced me to this song in the first place! Basically, this is because Minish Vaati was a coward/"meek, miniscule nothing"- he had a "rabbit heart" and needed to gain a "lion heart" (ie, become Hylian Vaati and so-forth). Highlights include: "You made a deal and now it seems you have to offer up/But will it ever be enough?", "It seems I've made the final sacrifice", "This is a gift, it comes with a price", and "And in the spring, I shed my skin/And it blows away with the changing winds". ...And I also tried storyboarding this one, too. Never finished it, though.

6. "Shampain" by Marina and the Diamonds ...Most of these are my storyboard projects, actually. This is the one I'm currently working on. There's not much that matches here, but this is for the fact that the song treats the champagne as something to hold up a "false pretense", just as Minish Vaati had to hold up the "false pretense" of being Hylian. Highlights include: " 'Cuz I remember, the way, the way, the way/It ended the day, the day, the day, the day/That I walked away, away, away, away", "I feel celestial", and especially: "Savour the taste of fabricated wealth". Since every form of Vaati's that wasn't a Minish was "fabricated". And each bigger and 'better' form was more worthy/"wealthy" than the last. The "mask" theme I keep mentioning.

7. "Chains" by The Beatles This one is quite silly. The chains are metaphorical. 'Chains' for the (quite possibly) holding-back that Ezlo had (his grip) on Minish Vaati ("I'll be wrapped around your finger" from earlier, anybody?). 'Chains' for all of the lies Vaati told himself that led him to change his form. And even 'chains' for his various imprisonments within the Four Sword. Highlights include: "Chains, my baby's got me locked up in chains/And they ain't the kind that you can see", my favourite: "Can't run around 'cuz I'm not free"; and (simply) "But I can't break away from all of these chains". He did this all to himself, as I've said before.

8. "The Air that I Breathe" by The Hollies ...To the point that I imagined this song being the ending credits to imaginary 'movie' versions of my stupid Fanfictions. Yes, I'm serious. First, there's the connection to "air" again- perfect for a Wind Mage. And the whole 'wishing' aspect as a whole- wishing to bring "peace". It wasn't the correct type of "peace", but it was "peace" to the mentally-dubious Vaati! ...The lyrics explain it better than I could. What am I saying? Highlights include: "If I could make a wish", "What more could I ask?/There's nothing left to be desired", and "All I need is the air that I breathe". So sleep, Vaati. You need it.

9. "I Don't Even Know Myself" by The Who Another unfinished storyboard! Lucky me! This is for a symbolic reason: Vaati doesn't know himself because (despite retaining his mind), he's changed his outward appearance so drastically that he's basically unrecognisable as "Vaati" anymore. He's lost his way. Exorbitant a semita. Highlights include: "There's nothing in the words I speak that can betray anything I'm knowing", "Don't think about the way I dress", "Don't pretend that you know me 'cuz I don't even know myself", "The police just came and left/They wanted me and no-one else", particularly: "Do you remember me?/I don't remember you/Do you still love me?/You know I think you do", and even the silly, "Come on, all of you big boys/Come on, all of you elves". ..."The police" being Link and Ezlo, I would imagine. And "big boys" being the Hylians and the "elves" being the Minish. I'm reading way too deeply into this.

10. "Written on the Wind" by Roger Daltrey "Wind" is in the title. Need I say more? ...Yes. Basically, this is for Vaati's mindset (and story) again. The Wind is his destiny- to be changed; redirected. But instead of LETTING the Wind warp him, he tried to change his own destiny by CONTROLLING said Wind. Highlights include: "I realise my mistake", "Especially through me and you, it can be stormy", "Rise, fall/Great, small", "Your name's written on the wind", and finally, "And 'no' to you is not enough for you to give in". Like, he tried to convince Ezlo of something that would benefit HIM (Vaati) and failed. Or something along those lines. And no matter how "great" Vaati became, he still wanted more- he still probably felt quite "small" ("And I'm sad to the core, core, core", from earlier, naturally).

11. "Walking on Air" by Kerli For the manipulation of the Element of Wind, and for the mere fact that the song has a hint of "mental" troubles. And by that I mean, it's a warped mindset that led Vaati to do everything he did, just as the girl in the song planned to "set (her) world on fire". If she was "strong enough..." JUST LIKE THAT "MEEK, MINISCULE NOTHING" Minish Vaati! Highlights include: "Saying funny things you have never heard", "Are you brave enough to figure out?", "Know that you could set your world on fire/If you are strong enough to leave your doubts", "Feel it, breathe it, believe it/And you'll be walking on air", "A creepy little bat", "An old blue hat", and "No-one ever thought she could do that". ...This makes Vaati sound like a freaky pyromaniac, and judging by how Vaati Reborn literally had fire sleeves, I can't quite deny that accusation. And the "old blue hat" (to me, at least) is the Magic Hat, if that wasn't obvious.

12. "Oh No" by Marina and the Diamonds Random fun fact: this was the first MATD song I ever heard. You can blame a video about Vriska Serket for that one. This is for Vaati's misadventures as a whole: it was one big, downward spiral of, "Fantastic! I'm a Hylian now! Wait, what do you mean the Light Force isn't here? Never mind- here it is. ...When did I get imprisoned in a sword?". Highlights include: "Don't do love, don't do friends/I'm only after success", "I'll never soften my grip", "Want it fast, want it hard", "I just wanna change", "I know exactly what I want and who I want to be", "I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy", "If I fail, I'll fall apart", " 'Cuz I feel like I'm the worst/So I'll always act like I'm the best", and particularly, "If you are not very careful/Your possessions will possess you"; then "Real life has no appeal". Vaati let his ego get to his head, indeed! His head got to his head, if you will. ...What. Either way, Vaati was left alone to tend to his twisted fantasies, his own perfect world where he reigned supreme. Oh, if only.

13. "Almost Human" by Voltaire Yup. The final one. And one of the most heartbreaking, simply because it works for everything: the thoughts, the adventure, AND the symbolism. No matter what Vaati does, he will NEVER fully be a human, nor a demon. All because he started off a Minish, and that's what he still is. He's a FAKE. Highlights include: "Is it really such a crime/For an angel to speak his mind?", "I'll have to close my eyes and picture what it's like", "Despised by they", "I'm almost me", "Pity me, I'm almost a human being", "I still remember your light/And it was streaming down/And burning out my eyes", and tragically: "These tears are real/I'm jealousy/I'm spite and hate/To the core, I'm mean". "Despised by they"; being the Minish and later the Hylians as well. Even though Vaati believed himself to be better than everyone, the "pity me" part hearkens back to his origins as that itty-bitty, displeased Minish. It was Minish Vaati who started everything, by desiring nonsense- desiring MORE. ...Heck, even "If I Had a Heart" by Fever Ray would work in that context! ("More, give me more, give me more"). He was never satisfied.

There's so many songs that fit Vaati, sometimes in more ways than one. Vaati's such a melancholic character that it's distressing how many depressing songs match up with him. Oh, if he hadn't been so messed-up, just what would it have taken to make him happy? Plausibly the exact same thing, unfortunately...

..."High achiever, don't you see? Baby, nothing comes for free..."

#the bard of light rants #vaati #minish cap #the minish cap #the legend of zelda #theory series the odd headcanons of vaati #the bard of light schedules #oh my god my hands are gonna fall off #why did I do this

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crimsonrevolt · 6 years

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Congratulations Taylor you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Bellatrix Black

↳ please refer to our character checklist

I don’t think screaming really begins to describe the sounds I made while I read over your audition. You painted Bellatrix in such an intense light that flows so well with the woman we all know she becomes. I can’t wait to see what your version of her will bring to the group, and if we’re being honest I’m mostly excited for the chaos that having Bellatrix is going to be bringing. I know that you have so much up your sleeves for us and I can’t wait to see the twisted turns you throw our way! *Your faceclaim change has been accepted.

application beneath the cut

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Hey, it’s Taylor! 19, in EST and still using female pronouns

ACTIVITY

About the same as it has been, so I’ll let that be a speaking factor for itself.

TRIGGERS

None that aren’t listed.

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

I’ve lived here for two years :)

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

I go between Harry and Ron. Usually it depends on the day.

IN CHARACTER

Bellatrix Druella Lestrange (nee Black)

Bellatrix is the third brightest start from Orion, which certainly played a part in her naming. It also stands to mean female warrior, something that she herself is quite proud of.

Druella, her mother’s name, was a bitter sort of present that holds a great deal of resentment even still.

BIRTHDAY / STAR SIGN

October 31, 1950, making her a Scorpio

OCCUPATION

Bellatrix is unemployed, and under no belief that she needs to change that. She has wealth, and devotes most of her time to being Voldemort’s right hand as need be. Though, that’s not to say she isn’t using her husband’s newest appointment as Minister to her own advantage. The very minute he took over she was there, inserting herself into every decision.

FACE CLAIM

Jade Tailor would be my first choice, otherwise Alexandra Park.

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

Oh man, I don’t even know where to start. Bellatrix was a character that, when I first began writing her, utterly terrified me. She’s such a well known and terrifying character that little, seventeen year old me was so intimidated. But somehow I got the hang of it, and somehow with time I learned to mesh with her incredibly well. There is so much more to Bellatrix Lestrange than what we come to see in canon; she is a villain, and a good one. But far more dimensional than anyone gives her credit for.

I’m a firm believer that Bellatrix was not born as mad as we see her in the canon series. Yes, she’s more than a little unhinged and feels little remorse for the horrific things that she does. But she is not so far gone that she is as horrifyingly crazy as we see her during the second war. Before Azkaban, Bellatrix was actually rather sane. She was put together, cared about her appearance; she was wild and deeply resented anything resembling the stereotypes that Narcissa had been bred to portray. But she did care for her image. So she built a new one. It wasn’t until after spending a decade in prison, surrounded by Dementors that fed off her worst memories, that she truly became manic. Her time in prison was a never ending loop of the time after Sirius and Andromeda left their family. A loop of the disappointment she was faced with afterwards, by their father who suddenly decided Bella needed to be more. As if she was never enough in the first place.

First born to the Black family, she should have been the pride and joy - except for one factor neither Druella nor Cygnus ever seemed to get past: she lacked a dick. It was for that reason she was never really shown love, until the day Andromeda was born. Having her first sister was more a thing of tolerance for Bella, though she had a great amount of affection for her. From the day she was born, Bellatrix knew she was going to protect her. She was going to have to. And then Narcissa was born, and for the first time in her life, Bellatrix Black felt genuine love in the bright eyes of her youngest sister.

As children, Bellatrix adored them both and would have killed to protect them (and maybe did, at a time.) But as she got older, things began to change. As she neared the end of her Hogwarts career, Bellatrix discovered the power of Voldemort in a way that Cygnus has never introduced her to. She took the Mark eagerly at the young age of sixteen, and that was enough to set her on her path. Suddenly there was someone who believed in her for more than anything her own family had ever believed. Maybe some people thought he was a devil, but to Bella, the Dark Lord was a god. He saved her, or so she believes. Showed her the praise and delight when she strives for success in a way her family never had.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

Bellatrix is of the firm belief that there isn’t a point in love. Her parents never showed her any, her own sister left. Romantic love of any sort seems quite useless. It wasn’t always that way, at one point in Hogwarts she was in love without realizing it. A student from Bulgaria had spent a year in the castle, and she was captivating. Bella was enamored and when Viktoria left, she pointedly decided that was the end of things. She hadn’t even wanted to marry, but after her sister’s betrayal there was no choice, and she is well aware there are worse out there than Rodolphus. She may not be in love with him, but she does regard him as her other half, the right match.

As for her sexuality, it falls somewhere in the bisexual range but more prone to woman. Of course, she doesn’t ever think much of it and has come to get off purely on power, but that’s beside the point.

Proud to be a woman from the moment she was old enough to understand why her father hated her, Bellatrix did everything in her power to own it. She would never be as feminine as her Cissa, but she was going to own it. So she wasn’t born with a dick, that was a power move that needs to be erased; even if she doesn’t have one, Bellatrix has made it well known that she has more power than most men, and she likes it that way.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER

-A moodboard (x) -An aesthetic (x) -A mockblog ;)

Intelligent (adjective) - having or showing intelligence, especially at a high level ; Bellatrix was always a very gifted student, a bright girl – true to her name existing among stars, she shone brightly amongst even the darkest circumstances. In Hogwarts she topped every class she took. She reads people with excellence, detecting how people think before they even do themselves. She is perceptive, and smart. It’s part of what drew her to her Dark Lord…what got her named his favorite, among all his men.

Capable (adjective) - able to achieve efficiently whatever one has to do ; it would truly be a thing to curse the day one looked Bellatrix Lestrange in the eye and told her ‘you can’t.’ An impeccably strong and determined woman, when her mind is made up you can be certain she will follow throw. Magical prowess and determination to succeed could very well play a large part in her abilities; just as being a woman among high ranks – she fought her way to the top. And to descend would be a fall she wouldn’t be willing to take.

Apathetic (adjective) - showing or feeling no emotion ; feelings show weakness, and weakness – well. Bellatrix knows all too well how dangerous those can be. She likes to think she let them go – very deep down, extremely deep, they exist. Though the only person to ever truly spark that is Narcissa. As far as Bella is concerned, they’ve become so deeply buried they are gone. Trapping as that may be, she’s felt free ever since.

Explosive (adjective) - able or likely to shatter violently ; there are many things which may be said to blame for Bellatrix and her violent tendencies. Rumours abound as to what it is that makes her so easily set off - perhaps it was her childhood. Perhaps being a woman stronger than many men in a predominately men’s world. Rage has been swelling, building for a lifetime. A dangerous time bomb which has gone off in spades since joining the Dark Lord’s forces, but has never truly exploded.

Pinterest Board

Patronus - while Bellatrix is a very powerful witch, she is incapable of producing the Patronus charm. Her happiest memories existed only when her sisters were together, and with Andromeda’s betrayal, they’ve been tainted. Other than that, her happiest memories are sadistic, and not at all powerful enough for the charm to work, though if it were to it would display as a dragon – explosive, beautiful, powerful and dangerous.

Boggart - her parents, or more specifically, Cygnus. While Bella would like to pretend she has no fears, deep down she is always aware of the fear she has held towards the man since she was little. The fears of being a disappointment, being disowned for that very reason, being a disgrace to her family, the Cause, her beliefs.

Mirror of Erised - if asked Bella would claim it would be nothing but a world the Cause is aiming for - one that is pure and better. But as shallow as she appears at times, Bellatrix wants much more than that and even she isn’t aware of her heart’s desires, because of the walls she’s built to protect it. In all honestly, she would see herself happy, truly happy in ways every woman craves. But even Bella knows better, knowledge of that craving or not.

Seven Devils by Florence and the Machine ‘ Holy water cannot help you now See I’ve had to burn your kingdom down And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out I’m gonna raise the stakes, I’m gonna smoke you out’

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it: “Something to detect and repel those of lesser than myself. A spell of course, potions and charms are boring and hardly comprable. I myself wouldn’t name it, I have plenty of better things to do, but I can assure you it would be of great use to me.”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you: “I don’t have to do anything, especially venture into that forsaken forest. However, if I ever did, Rodolphus would accompany me and probably bitch about his shoes the whole time but he’s the first choice. I would need nothing but my wand, you daft cretin, I’m entirely powerful with that alone.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make? “Ones that require patience, I suppose. I never had any of that.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you? “That I’m a sympathizer. I’d hate to be the fool that ever made that mistake.”

REACTION TO LAST EVENT DROP

Bellatrix is growing impatient, and fast. Things had been looking up when Rodolphus took office but now, with the way Aversio and the Order both seem to be gaining power, she is increasingly angry. Action needs to be taken and fast, anyone that stands in their way wiped out. And while she is, for now, only awaiting Voldemort’s approval, she’s started to wonder just how long he plans to wait.

WRITING SAMPLE

One day stood out in her mind, high above all else, constantly encircling as if a bird waiting for its prey, a snake just waiting for a chance to slide forward and attack. The day that Bellatrix Druella Lestrange Black, always Black, had lost the humanity that had remained…the day that her beloved sister, her dearest, gentle Andromeda had left them. All for a worthless excuse of a wizard, a Mudblood, a man who had nothing to offer her except the loss of her family, of those whose flowing crimson was the very same as her own. Those she was meant to be with.

Andromeda had, in her foolish attempt at seeking forgiveness, searching a chance to remain with her family while betraying them, had pleaded. Begged for understanding, a chance to explain, to grovel pathetically at her elder sister’s feet. The day held high above all the rest, on a flaming beacon in the depths of her mind which never faded, even after countless missions, progressive days. How foolish it had been of her sister (no, she mustn’t allow herself to think that way - how foolish, how stupid, a sad habit of so many years lost that needed extracted from her mind just as all impurities must be from the wizarding world), to wish for forgiveness.

How ridiculously idiotic she felt now, to think of it. To look back at how worried she had been for her sister. Andromeda had always been softer than she - had always been much quieter when the ever-present topic of blood and purity and war came about. Not once in the whole of her lifetime had Bellatrix judged her - if the day came to ask Andromeda to stand beside her, the eldest of all Black children strongly believed she would. She had expected better of her sister, expected more than to simply be tossed aside like the trash, with less respect than even the damned House Elves received upon their deaths. To be tossed out like garbage for the sake of the lowest scum the world had to offer. A Mudblood.

It was insulting, if nothing else, but it was far more than that - it was disgusting and repulsive. Even the mere thought of it made her stomach churn. Her sister, her blood had left them for a filthy, disgusting excuse of ‘wizard.’ Pure filth.

Had Andromeda not cared for her at all?

A tragic use of valuable time, it was, to dwell on something so disgusting and unimportant. Andromeda had made her choice, in choosing to become a blood traitor, to turn her back to their family, to Bellatrix herself. She wouldn’t think of the woman ever again. Leaving her alone had been a kindness, and yet, cruelty in what was only one of its most powerful forms.

Yes, she let Andromeda leave them…for the Blacks would carry on. Preserve purity and wipe anything which threatened to risk such away, leaving the true pristine wizarding world Narcissa’s children would deserve.

For how much more satisfactory it would be to watch Andromeda lost everything she had left for.

#lsrp #hp rp #accepted app #marauders era rp #Harry potter rp #Jade Tailor fc

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deadcactuswalking · 6 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 16th September 2018

Pretty uninteresting week on the charts today so maybe this episode might be short. I hope not but on the weekend you’ll be getting BLAST TO THE PAST so maybe Snoop Dogg will be a bit more interesting and provide me with some more material. Anyway, top 10.

Top 10

“Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith stays still at the number-one spot, and if that’s not a pretty apt depiction of the charts this week, I don’t know what is; that song feels like it lasts 10 times the actual length.

Also not moving is “Eastside” by benny blanco, Khalid and Halsey, at the runner-up spot, an equally worthless song.

We have a debut at number-three today, fuelled by the YouTube streams (it’s probably only here because they have recently started to count on the UK Singles Chart) and YouTube memes. That song would be “I Love It” by Lil Pump and Kanye West featuring additional vocals from Adele Givens. I’ll talk about this song more when we get to the new arrivals.

At number-four, we have a one-space increase for “Body” by Loud Luxury and brando, and I’m not exactly bothered by that, although a closer look at the lyrics reveal them as pretty... dodgy.

Talking about dodgy men, we have “Taste” by Tyga and Offset moving up three spots to number-five.

“Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille has gone up nine spaces to enter the top 10 at number-six, for some reason.

“Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B is also up three spots to number-seven.

Oh, remember the three Eminem songs we had in the top 10 last week? Well, they’re still there, and now they’re consecutive. “Fall” featuring Justin Vernon is up a spot to number-eight... why?!

“Lucky You” featuring Joyner Lucas is down three spots to number- nine.

Finally, “The Ringer” is a whopping six spaces down to number-ten. Oof.

Climbers

There is only a single climber here. Yeah, yikes, it was quite boring here. Other than the top 10 and a couple small climbers for songs by Freya Ridings, Jess Glynne and a couple others, that aren’t worth mentioning, we have “Be Alright” by Dean Lewis moving up eight positions to #27. Nice song.

Fallers

We don’t even have much of these... there are quite a lot of fallers at about one space or two down but otherwise, yeah, there are just a few worthwhile decreases here. “Shotgun” gets its streaming cut in half as part of a chart rule, forcing it down 14 spaces to #17, “In My Feelings” by Drake featuring City Girls is collapsing down the charts, with a whopping 14-spot decrease right to #21, whilst “Rise” by Jonas Blue and Jack & Jack is down eight positions to #32, as is “Solo” by Clean Bandit and Demi Lovato down to #36. There are also two five-spot falls for “Youngblood” by 5 Seconds of Summer and “Jackie Chan” by Tiesto and Dzeko featuring Preme and Post Malone, down to #30 and #38 respectively.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

We don’t have all too many big dropouts this week, but there are a lot of smaller ones that were pretty expected like “If You’re Over Me” by Years & Years out from #34, “Ring Ring” by Jax Jones featuring Mabel and Rich the Kid from #37, “LO(V/S)ER” by AJ Tracey off the debut from #38, “Only You” by Cheat Codes and Little Mix from #39 and “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME” by the 1975 from #40 (please, stay out!).

As for returning entries, we have “This is Me” by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble because it can’t leave the freaking charts apparently to #40, as well as that confusingly-credited “Ay Caramba” song by Fredo, Young T & Bugsey and their weirdly-titled record label Stay Free Get Lizzy back to #39.

IN MEMORIAM

“What’s the Use?” – Mac Miller featuring Snoop Dogg, Thundercat, Dam-Funk and Syd

I’m sure you all know of Mac Miller’s tragic death on September 7th due to what I believe is a drug overdose. I was never a massive fan of his music, his lazy flow never appealed to me and personally his production could be hit-and-miss. At 26 though, a clearly great talent with a lot of musical growth and potential, who touched a lot of peoples’ hearts with his songwriting, being lost, is awfully sad, and one of the recent musical deaths I’ve actually taken to heart and cared a great deal for, enough to check out more of his stuff at least. I’m not covering the song that charted on the UK Singles Chart – it didn’t get into the top 40, and I’m rather indifferent on it – so, instead, I figured I’d talk just a little bit about one of my favourites off of Swimming, “What’s the Use?” featuring uncredited vocals from Snoop Dogg, Thundercat, Dam-Funk and Syd. The track, produced by Pomo, also the man behind Anderson .Paak’s “Am I Wrong” (one of my favourite songs of the decade), has some of the essential elements of synth-funk, with a smooth falsetto vocal from Mac Miller in the hook, a freaking great bassline, and really pretty synths serving as the base for the handclaps that perfectly encapsulate Mac’s lyrics and performance – they’re not energetic, in fact, they’re just kind of there... with very little effort or charisma, like Mac’s vocals, where he’s clearly hopeless and careless about what he’s singing about, which is, shocker of the century, drug addiction, which he has since grown numb to, and it’s just become part of the routine. Oh, and I love how is flow is ever slightly off throughout, it adds a more natural touch. Thundercat’s bridge is pretty heavenly too, and the ever-so-subtle Snoop Dogg vocals are quirky and do their job well; if you add Snoop Dogg to a track, you will most likely never fail, he just has too much charisma to ever ruin a song, I love him for that. Great track, check it out. Rest easy, Mac.

NEW ARRIVALS

#31 – “RAP DEVIL” – Machine Gun Kelly

Okay, so, I’ve heard “KILLSHOT”. Eminem, basically on auto-pilot, still destroyed Kelly, and that’s because Kelly doesn’t seem to be able to stir up the anger that is clearly being felt from how Em’s disappointed him as a fan (trust me, I’ve been there) in any way that seems visceral or even interesting compared to Eminem’s thirsty verse in “KILLSHOT” that even Em sounded bored recording. The beat is actually pretty good, with the simple guitar strumming being covered by a lot of distortion and some skittering trap percussion, as with Ronny J’s typical style, but it’s pretty effective, especially when the distortion and drums cuts out in the intro and bridge. Meanwhile, Kelly has an autotuned hook where he rhymed “let’s talk about it” with itself, petty and moronic references to how Eminem’s beard is weird and how he’s named after confectionary (really, Kelly? That’s the best you could come up with?), an admittedly nice delivery at some points (especially during the “f**k the Rap God, I’m the Rap Devil” passage, where he flows pretty nicely and the lines are actually pretty hard; not hard-hitting but work very well with Kelly’s aggressive and faster style), backing vocals desperately trying to prove anything Kelly says is worth listening to by repeating “facts!”, and finally, how the real Slim Shady can’t stand up. Yeah, that’s a hilariously pathetic line, not in concept but how the beat cuts out for such an uninteresting line, and that’s how he ends the second verse. It’s pretty funny, but the song itself? Not exactly worth it. Sorry.

#15 – “Electricity” – Silk City and Dua Lipa

So, this is a song featuring vocals from Dua Lipa, and partly written by Mark Ronson, Florence Welch and Diplo. Recipe for success, right? Well, not exactly, but it’s awful at all, in fact I’d argue it’s pretty damn good for what it is. Yes, it’s a tad underwritten, but do these dancefloor-filler house tracks need much of that to be fun, energetic bops? No, of course, they don’t, and this song succeeds in being just that, with some beautiful vocals from Dua Lipa, who proves to be a perfect base for the deeper pitch-shifted vocals in the drop, and a pretty nice piano melody, with a great bassline to boot, as well as some pretty interesting vocal samples in the bridge that appear alongside some cloudy synths. Much like the last song I reviewed by EDM producers that featured Dua Lipa, “One Kiss”, it’s a good song, but it’s not anything I’m able to really talk much about. It’s not void of any discussion, and I expect this to stick around on the charts for a while (at least in the UK), but it doesn’t exactly give me much material. Oh, and the outro with the “woo-hoo!” ad-lib and the funky guitar strumming is such a great ending, albeit slightly unfitting. It’s alright and I’d definitely recommend it for someone looking for these types of tracks, but that’s as much as I can say about it.

#3 – “I Love It” – Lil Pump and Kanye West featuring Adele Givens

This is “I Love It”, a song presumably taken from both Pump and Kanye’s upcoming albums, featuring a sample (and a video cameo) from comedian Adele Givens, and a video featuring Kanye and Pump being trapped in blocky ROBLOX suits and overly-large shoes while following Givens, dressed somewhat like an angel, in a grey hallway, that premiered at the Pornhub Awards, which Kanye creatively directed. Can’t make this up, folks.

The song that was pretty blatantly rushed last minute so that the video would serve any purpose, and in an attempt for Kanye to get some more chart success after how ye performed, is also pretty humorous, actually, and it’s not like it’s all that terrible, either. It’s got a nice enough bassline – possibly stolen from T-Pain but that’s besides the point - but that’s all it has, and I’m not over exaggerating all that much here; other than the percussion and the vocals, starting off with a decent enough introduction from Adele Givens, sampled from a Def Jam comedy special, that is actually kind of funny to be fair to Givens here, but then it continues down the road to an awful feature from Lil Pump, where he ditches his yelling for a more melodic, autotuned style as he croons about how his girl is such a hoe and he loves it. That’s completely fine, until he talks about telling her cousin that he’s with her, and then banging that cousin, or her sister as he’s apparently oblivious because he does so much Xans or whatever, and then, in shock and pure disgust, he exclaims what I’m pretty sure is the ROBLOX death sound and the beat cuts out to show his genuine anger at how “she take lines”. I thought you loved her (or her cousin, or her sister) because she was a freak, what’s wrong with her taking cocaine? Man, I didn’t think I’d be able to find plot holes in a Lil Pump song this easily considering the lack of even trying for any substance in the subject matter but anyway, after Pump makes up some words, shouts out both London and Smokepurrp and repeats the chorus again, we get a skit from Kanye which is just there to fill out the runtime... as is the mind-numbing repetition of “I’m a sick f**k, I like a quick f**k, whoop!” After about four or five takes at the line, he starts rapping about how if you perform oral sex with him, he’ll buy you a sick truck... and he delivers on his promise, Kim got a green Mercedes-Benz back in August. To be fair to Ye here, he puts more effort in comedic delivery than Pump, so some of his lines can actually pass off as at least partly humorous, like “How you start a family? The condom slipped up”. And after a few filler lines that rhyme “hoe s**t” and “more s**t” with itself two or three times, Kanye’s done and basically the song’s done. It’s really not worth your time unless you’re watching the video. The official clean version on Spotify is somehow even more incompetent than the song though, it’s bloody hilarious.

Conclusion

Best of the Week goes to Silk City and Dua Lipa for “Electricity”, because at least they tried, and Worst of the Week goes to Kanye West, Lil Pump and Adele Givens for “I Love It”. I like all three of these guys, I just wish they were able to come out with something more worth my time combining all their strengths. See ya next time!

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