#fitness jobs sydney

[rillabrooke]

edgy/misc OC ask meme last but certainly not least, my precious child isaac for @quietwaters

7. What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Isaac actually has an interesting history because 1) I hardly made contact with him during Version 1.0 though @bluebellwren worked with his character for some time; and 2) he was completely absent from Version 2.0, other than maybe a cameo appearance. As a result, this version of Isaac is entirely new (at least to me). Of all the Salamangka cast, he arrived in my head full formed, and he's lived free-rent there ever since.

24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

There's the whole kidnapped as a child resulting in complete loss of autonomy situation, so there hasn't been much choice in Isaac's life. I think years ago, he could've become heartless and callous and cruel—sadistic, even—but instead he maintained his humanity. I think that was choice. So to answer the question, he could've ended up like Samael. Yet, despite the cards stacked against him, he didn't.

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

Oh, I don't know, just everything. I love a good redemption story about the power of (non-romantic) transformative love. Choosing to be kind and compassionate and tender even when he has every reason not to. Even when he doesn't know how to. Maybe it's the salt-&-light writer in me talking, but he's my favorite blorbo archetype.

#so many of my blorbos fit that description... sydney carton (a tale of two cities); richie (the bear); jean valjean (les mis); #din djarin (the mandalorian); marilla cuthbert (anne of green gables); etc. etc. #i'm just thinking of ones off the top of my head but the list goes on #i ALSO love that i get to share him with bella @bluebellwren so whenever i have a breakthrough we can collectively go 'look at our son!!' #writing ask #salamangka #isaac caruso #sforzinda #ok ngl i haven't look at his artbreeder pic in a while and lemme just say i did a darn good job with his sim

[wwpia]

Sydney would definitely be able to go en pointe, he so frikkin elegant when he wants to be. Probably learnt from his mum tbh.

Faustus is the one in the background doing probably more calorie burning than I do in an entire month I mean holy shiz, the standing straight to push ups make my wrists hurt in sympathy.

#nanowrimo 2023 #oc character #faustus things #sydney things #character inspo #wwpia needs their workers to get their cardio in #got to stay fit and limber on the job okay #snort

[mulderfx]

#i’m so insanely hard on myself that sometimes i don’t even trust my peers reviews of me #even though i KNOW and i have been told EXPLICITLY that if i was doing a terrible job with my job/this new thing i’m learning- #-they would say so and bench me from it by telling me i’m not ready/not fit for it #today i wanted to cry at my desk bc i just felt like i was doing utter shit but i was officially given a good review by my trainer #but even then. me looking at an offficial DOCUMENTED evaluation im still like i think they r lying and i done awful i should be fired #idk what happened bc my last training session i felt pretty good!! like i felt like i was getting the hang of it #and then today just blew me out of the damn water… #anyways. hope i get my mind back #also i had ordered food right when i got extremely discouraged with myself so i didn’t even touch it #and i gave it to my trainer and she was like 🥺sydney ur doing good don’t be so sad #but i was! and am!!! lol #i’m upset with no one but myself

[nolita-fairytale]

j is for james beard... and for jealousy | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader

pairing: jealous boyfriend!carmy x female!reader 

word count: 7.4k

summary: after sydney takes home a big win at the james beard awards, you and your boyfriend carmy run into an old rival for a fiery, chaotic, and surprisingly sexy night. companion piece to 'make my heart surrender' but can be read as a standalone oneshot.

warnings: 18+ chapter, minors dni: lots of swearing, p*rn with a plot, smut, p in v unprotected sex (reader is using hormonal birth control in monogamous relationship), praise kink, rough jealousy sex

a/n: how dare I drag poor james beard into this hetero nonsense?! anywayssss surprise i'm back because i keep having ideas for these two. maybe one day i'll just write a carmy x reader piece that doesn't include this character but for now... please enjoy this literal porn with a plot. also: let's all agree that toxic jealousy is a red flag in relationships, however, i wanted to work with a scenario where carmy would perhaps be more sexually assertive.

“I look ridiculous,” Carmy had grumbled earlier that day, at his reflection in the mirror. 

He had never felt like himself while wearing a suit. Sure, he would spend time, effort, and money into finding the perfect vintage denim jacket, but a suit? He’d much rather be behind the scenes, in his chef whites, instead of this. 

“You look…” you’d countered him, emphasizing the word ‘look’. “...hot, Carmen.”

He’d given you somewhat of a half smile in response – flattered by your comment, and also unconvinced you hadn’t just said in an attempt to get him out of the house. 

Or out of obligation. 

Because he’s your boyfriend. Because you’ll say anything to get him out for Syd’s big night. Because you love him. 

Carmy had never gotten used to the whole celebrity aspect of the food world – especially his own. These award ceremonies were always an uncomfortable reminder that he never quite felt like he fit in. 

“Do you think Syd would kill me if-?” Carmy had asked, shifting uncomfortably. 

“Baby, Sydney is counting on us… and she and I will both kick your ass if you don’t get in the car,” you’d cut him off, because there was no way in hell he was getting out of this. With a scowl on his face, you’d dragged him down the stairs and into your Uber. 

And that’s how he ended up here, at the James Beard award ceremony on a Sunday night, as you all wait anxiously for the announcement. While the restaurant hadn’t been open long enough to be nominated and was actively in a state of ‘working out the kinks,’ Carmy’s celebrity in the food world had brought in a lot of press. Ever since Sydney and Carmy had become partners in the reopen, he had been more than happy to let her take center stage. When the nominations were announced, and Sydney was on the list, he was ecstatic for her. Truthfully, it was a relief that she seemed to do much better with all the stuff he wasn’t crazy about: press, interviews, the spotlight. 

“Wake me up when this snoozefest is over,” Richie mumbles trying his best to pretend he’s not having a good time. You snort, shooting Richie a look, because you know it’s one of the most exciting nights he’s had in a while. 

Besides Carmy, who wouldn’t want to get all dressed up to go to a fancy party and celebrate Sydney?

You’ve somehow managed to corral the core staff of The Bear here this evening. The entire restaurant had been abuzz when the nominations were announced, and talks of who would get stuck at the restaurant the night of the award ceremony had already begun. It was an easy decision to close the restaurant for that night, so that everyone who wanted to could attend. 

Your life here is better than you ever imagined it could be. Working your ass off in a kitchen that you love has been invigorating. It’s helping you fall in love with the process all over again. You suspect that your time in fine dining had, perhaps, run its course even before you quit your last job. Back then, here is what you’d longed for on the days you felt your most lost. You love being a teacher; you love mentoring Marcus. He’s got a desire to learn that never quits, and it inspires you day in and day out. But most importantly, you’re head over heels in love. You’re so deeply in love with Carmy that sometimes, you wonder what took the two of you so long to pull the trigger.

Tonight is no different. You’re surrounded by people you adore more than anything  – people you’ve been in the trenches with during a dinner service from hell, people you’ve laughed your ass off with after a round of drinks outside of the restaurant – and you’re all here to celebrate someone who’s become a close friend of yours. It’s just another reminder – another sign from the universe – that you made the right decision.

And you’re sure Sydney is going to win. 

You’re not sure how you know. 

You can just feel it. 

Sydney sits between Carmy and Marcus, and you’re seated in between Carmy and Richie. You notice Carmy’s leg is bouncing up and down impatiently as he anticipates the next category of awards. Even though you know these big social events put Carmy on edge, you know he’s really just nervous for her. 

“And the winner… for the James Beard Rising Star award of 2023…” the announcer, esteemed chef Mashama Bailey begins, grabbing the attention of the entire room. 

Your heart is pounding in your chest, and Carmy continues to fidget nervously. You reach across Carmy’s lap, grabbing Sydney’s hand and giving it a squeeze of reassurance. Sydney holds on to you, and while you’re sure she might cut off your circulation from squeezing so tightly, you don’t mind. You’re all on the edges of your seat. 

“Sydney Adamu of The Bear!”

You and Carmy are cheering as loudly as you can, while Richie jumps to his feet letting out a loud ‘whoop.’ A chorus of ‘that’s right,’ ‘she won!’ and ‘c’mon syd’ echoes through Tina, Gary, and Ebra and Manny, while Angel is already on his feet taking a video of the crowd. Everyone is cheering so boisterously you’re not sure it’ll ever stop. 

“You won, Syd!” you yell over the loud claps and cheers, giving her hand one more squeeze. She rises, letting go of your hand, you and Carmy both following to give her some space to walk through the aisle. 

“Let’s go, Syd! That’s right. That’s right,” Marcus calls out loudly, jumping to his feet with Richie and earning a few looks from the people sitting to the right and left. 

“Congratulations, chef,” Carmy whispers, as she passes him by. You watch as Marcus ushers her over to the aisle so that she can go up to the stage while Angel films the whole thing on his iPhone. Carmy has the proudest look on his face, the tip of his nose the lightest blush pink, and you’re beaming as you watch your friend make her way towards the stage of the opera house. 

“Remember when this was you?” you whisper to Carmy, catching his attention. 

“Tonight everything changes for her,” Carmy replies, grinning from ear to ear. 

“For the both of you,” you add. “For all of us.”

The night he won the rising star award put him on the map. While you hadn’t known Carmy at the time, you’d heard about him in those early days of both of your careers. Carmy had risen so quickly through the ranks that by the time you met him, he was only a few weeks away from his promotion to CDC at the old restaurant. Not only did this put Sydney on the map, but it was better press for The Bear than anyone could ask for. 

“Congratulations, baby,” you say, kissing him on the cheek. He just shoots you a look, the pride evident in his eyes, before wrapping his arm around you and holding you close. 

~

“I just wanna say,” Richie begins, having garnered the attention of your group. You’re all huddled in a circle at the reception, champagne flutes in everyone’s hands. 

“I know we don’t always see eye to eye…” Richie toasts, earning a few looks and side comments from your team. “And don’t forget about that time you stabbed me… but even if this brings a bunch of fuckin’ strokes to the restaurant, we’re so fuckin’ proud of you.” 

“To Sydney, who’s… what does Carmy say… changed the chemistry and who is the heart of this restaurant,” Ebra adds on. 

Tina smiles proudly, raising her glass to Sydney. It brings a smile to your face to see her all dressed up too. 

“Syd, I don’t know where the hell we’d be without you,” Carmy continues, raising his glass. 

“Cheers to you, Sydney!” you say, clinking champagne glasses, before taking your first celebratory drink as a team. 

It doesn’t take long for your group to break off into smaller ones – making comments about how out of place you all feel at this fancy of an event. Richie’s wrapping an arm around Carmy’s shoulder, ushering him to a side conversation – something about ‘lizards this’, and ‘the working class that.’ 

“So how do you feel?” you ask, turning towards Sydney, taking a moment to quietly congratulate your friend. 

“I think I’m still in shock,” she sighs in relief, earning a chuckle from you. 

“Well, I’ll cheers to that. You know. To calm the nerves,” you joke, raising your glass once more. 

“To liquid courage,” she agrees, clinking glasses with you again, as you both decide just to finish off your flutes of champagne. 

“Can I get you another drink?” you offer, placing your now empty champagne 

“Oooo can you get me one of those fancy themed cocktails I saw at the bar earlier?” Sydney replies, excitedly. 

“Anything for you,” you say back. 

“And when you’re back, I think I saw Carla Hall has a tasting table here so we should make our rounds,” Sydney mentions, because there’s no way either of you are missing out on the fact that the best chefs in the world are cooking in this room right now. 

You nod in agreement, heading to the bar to get both you and Sydney a new round of drinks. 

“What can I getcha?” the bartender asks. 

You glance at the menu, deciding on your go-to, a gin and tonic, and then one of the featured cocktails of the evening that Sydney mentioned, knowing she’s a tequila drinker. You wait at the bar for your drinks, knowing the fancy mezcal cocktail you just ordered for Sydney will take a little bit of a time to make. 

“I was wondering when I’d run into you,” you hear a voice say, grabbing your attention. It’s a familiar voice that you were really hoping you’d never have to hear again. 

“Funny, because I was hoping to avoid you,” you quip back, turning to the man who’s just joined you at the bar. His bravado alone is enough to earn an eye roll from you and you can feel your guard going up. 

“What’re you doing here?” you ask, unable to hide the disdain in your voice. 

“You haven’t heard?” he asks, a cocky smirk on his face that you just want to slap off of it. 

“I don’t make it my business to keep up with you, Walker,” you shoot back, using his last name as a formality, completely unamused by his question.

“God, I love it when you talk dirty,” he croons, a flirtatious low chuckle rumbling out of his chest. 

You ignore him, rolling your eyes for the second time in the last two minutes, as you thank the bartender who’s just come back with your gin and tonic. You raise the glass to your lips, getting a head start since now, you definitely need this drink. 

“Moved to LA. Took a CDC position out there. Besides, after you left… New York was… getting boring,” he explains, playing it cool. He drops the name of the well-respected LA restaurant that he’s running now in an attempt to impress you, which only seems to piss you off further. 

You scoff in response. If you weren’t waiting on Sydney’s drink, you’d be long gone by now, but as you watch the bartender burn a sugar cube, you wonder how damn long it takes for a fucking mezcal drink to be made. 

Maybe if I’ll just ignore him, he’ll fuck off, you think to yourself.

“You know, I was surprised to hear you moved to Chicago. Left without saying goodbye. Then again, should’ve known…” he provokes, continuing his very one sided conversation. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Nate?” you snap, turning your head to him, instantly regretting giving him the attention he’s so desperately seeking.

He raises an eyebrow, before nodding towards Carmy as a reply. Your gaze follows, and you can tell that Carmy’s noticed who you’re talking to at the bar. 

“It’s a small world. Word gets around. People talk.”

But you’re not listening to him, your eyes fixed on Carmy. Carmy sends a look of concern your way, but you nod back to him as if to say ‘all good.’ You can hold your own here. Nate watches carefully, noticing the look you share with Carmy across the room. He was always a detail oriented son of a bitch. 

“Classic golden boy,” Nate sighs, the envy in his voice giving him away. 

“Don’t you think your little one sided rivalry with Carmy is getting a little old?” you laugh dryly. 

“One sided?” Nate asks back, taking a step towards you. 

“Yeah, one sided,” you repeat, standing your ground. Now way in hell you’re going to let this asshole back you up. “Because if I recall correctly, he never indulged you in your silly little games.”

Nate laughs again, taking another step towards you that makes you increasingly more uncomfortable. 

“If that’s how you remember it.”

“Oh grow up.”

“Not when golden boy gets everything I want.”

“You’re so full of shit!” you exclaim, finally taking a step back. “Carmy’s had to work for everything he’s achieved. You and I both know that.”

“How do you think he’d feel,” Nate starts, and you’re not sure if he’s trying to sound seductive or intimidating – neither of which are working on you. “... if he knew about what happened between us? After he left New york? It was… what? A week, maybe two, before you jumped into bed with me?”

“Carmy knows I’m not a thing to be had, Nate,” you seethe, glaring at him. 

The bartender returns with your second drink finally. 

“You sure about that?” Nate smirks, reaching out to touch you. 

What a fucking asshole. 

“You’re disgusting,” you seethe, jerking your arm away from him. You take both of your drinks, and you can’t get out of there fast enough. 

“It was great catching up,” he calls after you, cockily. 

“Can’t say the same,” you say, not even turning to look back at him. 

You return to your group, holding in your fury. It’s Sydney’s big night and you’d much rather focus on that than the asshole of an old coworker you can’t fucking stand. You try to shake off the interaction, deciding it’s not even worth expending energy on. 

“What the hell was that all about?” Sydney asks, having witnessed your tenuous interaction with the man you called Nate. She thanks you as you hand her her new drink. 

“Absolute trashcan of a human. We used to work with him. In New York,” you said, letting out a puff of flustered air. 

“Okay but… that was weird right?” Sydney questions, seeing that this guy’s clearly gotten under your skin.

“Totally. He’s a piece of shit. He and Carmy always had this weird rivalry but it was mostly on his end. I… also may or may not have made the dumbest mistake ever once upon a time and slept with him… like… over a year ago,” you confess, feeling just a little bit guilty about it. 

“Noooo,” she replies, her eyes widening. “You slept with that guy?”

“Yeah,” you answer, regretfully. “Not one of my finest moments. Long story short: right after Carmy left New York to come back here, I got a little too drunk with some coworkers. I was really sad and it was stupid, and uh, he was… let’s just say more than happy to play the part of a good listener.”

“Can’t imagine that guy being good, or a listener, let alone both at once,” Sydney replies, seeing the negative effect he’s had on you in one conversation.

“Yeah, It was a stupid fucking mistake and I regretted it the next morning. If you can believe it, he got even more insufferable when he realized it would never happen again,” you tell her, shaking off the bad taste in your mouth the conversation left you with. 

“Yo,” Carmy says, hesitantly. He can tell that you’re pissed after your conversation at the bar. “Everything good?”

“Yeah,” you answer, honestly. “Just Nate Walker being a fuckin’ asshole. But what’s new?”

“Hey Syd! Let’s go grab a bite,” Marcus calls to her. 

“You guys mind?” she asks, looking from you to Carmy. 

You shake your heads ‘no’, and honestly, you’re glad it gives you a little time alone with your boyfriend. You watch as Sydney leaves with Marcus to make the rounds, leaving you and Carmy alone. 

“Haven’t heard that name in a while,” Carmy starts, bringing Nate up again. He can feel his face beginning to heat up as he asks you about it. 

“Yeah.”

“Biggest jackoff in New York City.”

“Well, apparently he’s LA’s problem now.”

“Fucko,” Carmy says, shaking his head at the memory of his pain in the ass sous. He can’t figure out why seeing Nate talk to you near-sent him into a blind rage, but you’d reassured him that you were good so, he let you hold your own. 

“Seems like he had a lot to say to you.”

“Yeah, lucky me,” you reply dryly. 

“After that I think I need a shower. Or a bath of bleach.”

Carmy lets out a small laugh, releasing some of the tension he, unknowingly, was holding in his body. 

“Listen, I don’t want to talk about Nate,” you say, changing the subject. 

It’s not that you feel weird about it – that you’d feel weird telling Carmy about what happened between the two of you – but it just feels so small and insignificant in the face of the love that you have with Carmy. 

“Good, me either,” Carmy exhales. 

Another release in pressure. 

He wonders if he’d been this tense all night, or if seeing you with Nate had managed to piss him off this much. 

“You wanna dance?” you ask him, a mischievous smile on his face. You offer a hand out to him. 

“Baby, you know I don’t dance,” he states, matter of factly. 

“I know. But I do,” you say, with a wiggle of your eyebrows. 

“One dance,” he warns, earning a triumphant smile from you.

He takes your hand, prompting you to put your drink down on the table where you’re all posted up at. Carmy shakes his head, surprised that you’ve coaxed him this far out of his comfort zone. As he pulls you into his arms, you giggle, wrapping yours around his neck and sway to the loud music in the background. 

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asks you with such genuine love in those beautiful blue eyes of his. 

He thinks you look like a goddess – could be the dress, but he’s pretty sure it’s you. Your hair is shorter now than it was a few months ago and lays in the softest, most gentle waves, parted perfectly down the middle. He hasn’t stopped staring at cherry red-painted lips all night, and every time he gets a peek of your legs through the high slit in the dress you’re wearing, he swears he short circuits. 

Not to mention the low neckline. He’d watched you tie the top of the dress into a plunging neckline, and had to hold back his ask for you to cover up. It’s not that he cared about what you wore. But if he hadn’t been going to therapy over the last few months, he might feel some kind of way about anyone else getting to see any part of your breasts – anyone but him. 

“A couple of times… but I won’t be mad about hearing it a few more, Bear,” you grin, leaning into him. 

He smiles at your use of his childhood nickname. Back in New York, he’d kept it from you. It was just a reminder of what he’d left behind: his psycho mom, a nightmare of pain from his psycho-fucked-up family, how much it hurt when Mikey cut him out. But now, he loves the way it sounds coming from your lips, your voice the sweetest thing he’s ever heard. While he knows it’s taken him a long time to let you in, he’s glad he has. Whether it be at the restaurant or at the home you share together, you’ve become one of the most consistent things in his life. 

The rest of the night is almost perfect. It’s filled with dancing, catching up with coworkers and friends in the culinary world, and most importantly, a celebration with your chosen family. That is, until you hear Sydney swear halfway across the room, catching the attention of you and Carmy both. 

Carmy’s looking past you to where Nate is towering over Sydney at the bar. If looks could kill, he’s pretty sure Nate would be dead by now. 

“Is that Nate again?” Carmy asks, his face pink as he feels a rush of blood flow throw him. 

You can see that Sydney is practically in the same place you were an hour ago. You watch as he steps in front of her, practically blocking her in between him and the bar. 

“I don’t like this. We should go over there,” you say with a sense of urgency. 

Carmy agrees, and Richie and Marcus, who you’re currently conversing with, follow close behind. 

“Okay. You need,” Sydney warns, her voice deliberate, like a rattlesnake giving one last warning before it strikes. “... to back… the fuck up.” 

His response is even worse, causing a fire to burn in your belly as you overhear what he says to Sydney. 

“Oh come on,” he coos, forcing himself closer to her. “I’m just trying to have a little fun.”

Sydney takes another step to the side, trying her best to escape him and holding her hands up as a barrier while you charge at him. Your sudden movement attracts his attention, giving Sydney the out that she needs. You put both of your hands on his chest, shoving him away from her as you shout. 

“She said ‘no.’ What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

Nate’s got such a smug, satisfied smirk on his face that, if you weren’t in a room filled with the best chefs in the world, you’d actually punch it right off of him. Carmy follows you, protectively standing behind you. 

“Jealous?” he asks, amused. His eyes flicker over to Carmy, whose face is beginning to heat up, turning a brighter shade of red by the moment.  

“In your dreams, asshat,” you spit back. 

“Yeah, you’re right about that,” he says, completely satisfied as Carmy’s fist clenches. He’s clearly enjoying just how much he’s getting under his old boss’ skin. 

You feel Carmy step towards him, but you turn to him, placing a hand on his abdomen to stop him, “Bear, it’s not worth it.”

“Did you tell him?” Nate asks you, with the intention of stirring the pot. 

“Jesus Christ,” you mutter, shaking your head in absolute disbelief. 

“Tell me what?” Carmy asks you softly. 

“How does it feel, golden boy? To know that the one thing you always wanted… I got to first,” Nate sneers, a threatening sound in his voice. He looks from you to Carmy, assessing the damage. 

Before Carmy can say anything, it’s you who lurches towards NAte, and Carmy’s wrapping his arms around you to hold you back. You can feel the tension in his arms as he holds you against his chest protectively. 

“Okay this motherfucker is just asking for it,” Richie seethes, charging towards Nate. 

“Richie, don’t!” Sydney shouts, shooting him a ‘please don’t make a scene’ look. 

It takes all of Richie’s self control to stop himself. He nods to her, holding up his hands as a surrender. He begins to take a few steps back as your uncomfortably public standoff continues. 

Sydney has retreated back so that she stands side by side with Marcus, while Carmy’s loosened his grip on your waist. 

By the look on Nate’s face, you can tell he thinks he’s gotten away with it all, as he looks around at all of you one last time. 

“You all have a goodnight,” he smirks, before taking his drink and slithering away. 

You could care less where to. You’re just glad he’s gone. 

You watch as he goes before checking in with Sydney, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she says, shaking her head. Marcus is by her side in an instant and you can see Carmy’s jaw twitching with anger. “Can’t believe you used to work with that guy. Fuck that guy.”

“Yeah, fuck that guy,” Richie agrees under his breath. 

“C’mon. Let’s just…” Marcus encourages quietly, nodding to your table. 

Richie, Marcus, and Sydney all make their way back to your group as you stay with Carmy. His face is red and you can see it on his face that he’s still processing what just happened – what Nate said. You can see the gears turning in his head, and he’s staring at the floor, his face still cherry tomato-red.

“Carmy,” you say, ripping him from his thoughts. 

He looks up at you, his face softening the minute you make eye contact. 

“Can we go somewhere? Talk?” he asks, trying not to look like he’s going to burn the fuckin’ place down. 

You agree with a nod, taking his hand and leading him elsewhere. 

The further away from the reception you go, the quieter the party gets, and the louder your thoughts get. Would he be mad? You were furious with Nate for trying to use what happened to get under Carmy’s skin, but you also wonder if he’s mad at you too. For sleeping with Nate? For not telling him? But was it something you were supposed to tell him? It’s not like you expected him to tell you about every person he’d ever slept with. 

Carmy finally stops, leading you into a quieter room, far away from the party. As you flick the lights on, it looks like a single dressing room for the plays performed here. The silence between the two of you is deafening, and it’s not just because it’s the first quiet moment you’ve had together since you arrived. 

“I’m not mad… about Nate… about what he said,” Carmy says, breaking the silence between the two of you. 

He’s trying his best to sound convincing, reassuring even, but he’s sure he’s doing a shit job. 

You’re surprised, so you just take him in, searching his face for any clue that he’s telling that truth. His face is red, and you can see a tightness running across his chest as he’s looking for the courage to ask:

“But why didn’t you tell me?” 

You sigh, unsure of what to say. 

“Because…” you begin, hoping that if you just start talking, you’ll find the right words to explain. “I-, I didn’t think I had to. It happened once and it was a stupid mistake with… a lot of tequila involved.”

“You had just left New York and I was lonely. I didn’t say anything because… it didn’t mean anything to me, Bear.”

He listens, taking your explanation in, his eyes fixed on the floor again. He’s not mad at you, but he can’t seem to shake this feeling of anger – this tension that has him wanting to punch a hole through the wall. 

“I don’t like what he fuckin’ said to you,” he finally blurts out. 

“That- that he thinks he can just say whatever the fuck he wants. That he forced himself on Syd like that, like he can-.”

Carmy looks down at the floor again, his words trailing off. 

He’s pissed. 

You can tell he’s pissed. 

But you have a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that says something else is going on. 

Is Carmy… jealous?

“Carmy, I’m sorry you had to find out like this,” you apologize softly. “He shouldn’t have-, I mean he really is the worst fucking person to ever walk-.”

“I’m not upset about-,” he interrupts, firmly. He holds your gaze, trying to give you the most reassuring look he can. “I don’t care about-. I just… I don’t like the way he talked to you.”

You wait as he stews on his thoughts, his anger simmering as he sorts through his feelings. It’s like watching a hot pot of water come to a boil. 

“I didn’t like seeing him touch you earlier like-.”

Let it rip.

“Like he can just put his hands on anyone he-. On you! I–.”

And then finally he explodes with, “I just fuckin’ hate that guy!”

It’s as if the pressure valve has been released as he lets out a big puff of air. While you can see it’s given him some relief, you’re still not sure what you’re supposed to offer at this moment. 

“Carmy, what can I- hmmph?” you begin to ask, before being cut off by his lips on yours. 

Well this isn’t what you were expecting.

Your head is spinning as your boyfriend kisses you with such passion, fervor, and urgency. He’s crashing his lips against yours at a desperate pace, and it’s all tongues and teeth and his hands are grabbing the back of your head, tangling into your hair. You’re not sure how you’ve gone from trying your best to hold space for your boyfriend’s feelings, to him pressing you up against the dressing room counter.

You gasp as he hoists you up onto the counter, pushing his body into yours. 

“Carmy, are you-?” you ask, feeling the tent that’s already formed in his pants as you wrap your legs around him. 

There’s a confident assertiveness he moves with, and as much as you hate to admit it, this is all turning you on.

“Hate that fuckin’ guy,” Carmy murmurs into your skin, as he begins to leave kisses down your jawline. 

His mouth moves urgently down your neck, to your shoulders, to the exposed skin the plunging neckline of your dress reveals. His teeth leave light pink and purple marks in their wake, and you’re gasping, moaning, grabbing at any part of him you can hold on to. Little love bites begin to appear, but when he’s making you feel this good, you could care less. 

He’s confident in the way he sucks little marks into your skin, biting down then immediately soothing the pain with his tongue. As he works his mouth over you, he looks up at you, his eyes wide, pupils blown out in pure desire, and it takes your fucking breath away. 

Pain and pleasure.

Just to show the whole world that you’re his. 

 “Thinks he can fuckin’ look at you. Put his fuckin’ hands on you,” he mumbles against your skin. His mouth has reached the lowest point of your plunging neckline as he stands up, pushing himself against you between your legs. 

“Baby,” you breathe out. You make a mental note to unpack why his sudden possessiveness has you so hot and bothered with your therapist next week. 

“I really, really don’t want to talk about him right now.”

Carmy drops to his knees, stripping off his suit jacket and throwing it elsewhere. The sight has you absolutely drenched and you think you may cum just from looking at him. 

“You’re mine,” is all he says, eliciting another moan from you as he sinks his teeth into the soft supple skin of your calf. You slide a heel-covered foot over his shoulder, as his lips begin trail up your calf, to your knee, to your inner thighs…

“Yes. I’m yours,” you breathe out, exasperated by Carmy’s sudden forwardness. You lean back, your head hitting the mirror with a thud. “All yours.”

He works his way up your thighs, leaving soft kisses on your inner thighs while his hands disappear underneath the skirt of your dress, frantically searching for your panties. 

“Carmy, I don’t know if we have time for-,” you gasp, as he pulls away for a moment. 

His curls are unruly from running your fingers through them, his lips swollen from the passionate makeout you started only moments ago. You feel his fingers hook underneath the top of your panties and he looks at you like he can see right through you. Holding your gaze, it’s impossible to not get lost into his ocean blue eyes you’ve fallen so deeply in love with. He takes his sweet time, teasing you, refusing to break eye contact, as he pulls your panties down your legs at an unbearable slow pace. 

You don’t look away. 

You don’t dare look away. 

Finally, finally, he breaks eye contact, sliding your panties over your feet, and putting them into his pocket as you brace yourself for what comes next. 

“We should-,” you start, your words ceasing instantly as he spreads your legs, licking a stripe up your dripping wet core. You cry out loudly, panicking almost instantly, because you don’t remember locking the damn door. 

We should stop. 

Do this elsewhere. 

Lock the door. 

Keep quiet. 

But you can’t seem to get the words out, as you let out another loud moan, and Carmy doesn’t have the heart to stop you. Something primal inside of him wants nothing more than for the whole party mere hallways away to hear you crying out his name. 

“Fuck, baby,” he murmurs, dragging his tongue through your folds. “Already so wet for me and I’ve barely even put my mouth on you.”

He wonders if there’s an award for this. 

Lifetime Loser Award.

2023’s Most Jealous Boyfriend

Chef Most Likely to Fuck His Girlfriend During the James Beard Reception Because He’s a Sad, Jealous Fuck.

“Carmy, please,” you beg, scooting your hips off the counter and pulling him up from the ground. Your demand rips him from his own self deprecating thoughts. 

“I need you inside of me. Now.” 

You need him.

“Turn around,” is all he says. 

He’s not sure where he gets the confidence for such a demand and it has you clenching around nothing. 

You’re more than happy to oblige as you whisper out a ‘yes,’ and turn yourself around to face the mirror. You can hear the sound of him unzipping his pants, then he’s hiking up the skirt of your dress once more. He puts his hands on your hips to steady you – maybe even to steady himself – and you can feel the head of his cock running through your folds. 

Just when you think you may die if you don’t get what you want, you let out the loudest cry you think has ever come out of your mouth as he pushes inside of you. You gasp, your fingers gripping the edge of the counter as you feel him shudder against your back. Your head hangs low, just focusing on memorizing how every single inch of him feels inside of you.

Carmy’s thrusts are slow at first, deep and deliberate thrusts burying himself all the way to the hilt. The sight of his cock disappearing inside of you is really testing his patience here as he thinks he may go insane. 

Back out. 

Then back in. 

“You’re so fuckin’ wet. So fuckin’ perfect for me. God, I love being inside of you,” he groans, enjoying his last few slow and deep thrusts. 

He’s got one hand on your hips and the other, wrapped around your waist. As he begins to speed up the pace of his thrusts, the hand around your waist goes to the counter too, to brace himself. 

“Carmen,” you moan his name, as he starts to go faster. “Yes. Perfect for you. Only you.”

Only you. 

Your words cause him to smirk, and the sounds you’re making only encourage him to keep fucking into you like he means it. 

“Look at yourself, baby,” he says, his words causing you to squeeze around him. He groans, his eyes rolling back, before he returns his gaze to the mirror. 

When you lock eyes, it’s like you’ve been set on fire. Your skin feels hot, and the prolonged eye contact has you squeezing around him as you start to grind against him. You feel lightheaded, breathless, purely at his mercy. 

Carmy holds your gaze through the mirror and you want to commit this photo to memory. You watch your reflections in the mirror, seeing your face change as he speeds up again. His hands are everywhere: in your hair, grabbing you breasts, tracing over the little marks he’s left all over your chest.

 “This how I make you feel? Tell me. Tell me how good I make you feel,” he asks, and you think this is the most vocal he’s been during sex.

“So good, Car,” you’re panting. He grabs a handful of your hair, guiding your head to the side so that he can kiss you. You manage to continue your praise in between wet, sloppy, and desperate kisses, and desperate thrusts between the both of you.

“So fuckin’ good. So high. Like I’ll never come back down.”

He’s satisfied with your answer, feeling more and more confident with each thrust. You can tell he likes it, so you decided, why the hell not?

“You feel incredible inside of me, baby,” you continue, wanting nothing more than to appease him. 

He’s swallowing your moans in his mouth, as he continues to fuck you, your pushing your ass back against him, your hands bracing against the mirror. You see stars as he hits that spot inside of you – the one that makes you let out a sob – and he’s bending you over the counter so that he can find that spot again and again. Carmy presses his forehead against your shoulder as his hands move underneath your skirt once again, rubbing fierce circles around your clit, trying to take you there with him. He knows he won’t last long when you’re moaning his name like that. He looks up for a moment, enjoying the reflection in the mirror a little too much, before sinking his teeth into your shoulder, feeling himself get closer… closer…

You can feel he’s close too, so you say something, something you know will bring him over the edge. 

“Want you to cum inside of me.”

“That what you want? Want me to fill you up? Have me dripping down your legs when any other fucko tries to talk to you tonight. Tries to even fuckin’ look at you…” he asks, his breath ragged and sentences becoming increasingly choppy. 

He's leaving little kisses and bite marks all over your upper back as he continues to fuck you.

“Yes,” you pant, moaning his full name once again. 

“Fffffffuck, baby. That’s so hot,” he stutters, his thrusts becoming more erratic. He grabs a handful of your ass, chasing his high with you. 

You’re squeezing your eyes shut so hard you see stars when he finds that spot again, and you remember that he wanted you to watch. You blink open your eyes, breathless as you take in the image of your boyfriend fucking you from behind. He’s got his forehead resting on your shoulder. You feel the delicious contradiction of pain and pleasure once again, as he sinks his teeth into the soft skin of your shoulder, in the same place from before.

So close. And you're already so tender.

“Carmen. Yes. Right there. Please, baby. Fuck. Don’t stop,” you’re crying out as you as your walls clamp down around him. It’s like an explosion erupts inside of you and you feel that you perhaps are on another fuckin’ plane of existence from the way he makes you feel. 

Your eyes close again as he fucks you through your orgasm, taking you higher and higher. The way your walls are squeezing around him have him on edge and he gives you one, two, and then a third thrust before painting your walls with his release too.

He stops, resting his head on your back again, still buried all the way inside of you.

Both of your heavy pants fill the room, before you interrupt the status quo with a laugh. 

“Holy shit, babe,” you finally say, exasperated and completely fucked out.

He pulls out of you, and you have to put a hand down on the counter he just bent you over, for balance as you stand up straight. You can hear Carmen pulling his pants back up and you’re adjusting your dress as you turn to look at him. His eyes are fixed on the button of his trouser pants, as you grab his face for another long, lust-filled kiss. 

“What do you say… to getting out of here? Maybe continuing this at home?” you propose, your voice hoarse from what you’ve just done. Your forehead is still pressed to his and you want nothing more for him to say ‘yes.’ 

“Fuck yes. Please,” he practically groans, wondering how it’s possible for him to be hard again already. 

“I’ll order a car,” you agree, reaching for where you left your phone on the dressing room counter. 

“Surge rates, babe” he sighs, the disappointment evident in his voice as he issues the little reminder.

You shoot him a look that says ‘you’ve got to be fucking kidding me?’

“I will pay all the surge rates in the world, if I get to have you again, as soon as possible,” you state, and he’s not sure he’s going to be able to wait till you get home.

You glance back down to your phone, your fingers moving quickly through the right buttons to get a car on the way. As soon as you see the confirmation, your swiping out of the app, and over to an unread message:

Sydney: So that was weird. Where did you guys go?

You: Out for some air. Sorry, we’ll be right back in. 

Sydney: Angel wants pizza and a few of us are gonna go. Wanna come with?

You: Think we’re gonna head home. Breakfast tomorrow? My treat. 

Sydney: 100%

You: Congratulations again, friend. Love you. 

“What’s going on?” Carmy asks, as he sees you fiercely texting away. 

“Nothin’,” you answer, seeing the Uber notification popping up on your phone. “Just telling everyone we’re gonna head home.”

You turn your back to the mirror to examine the damage, immediately spotting Carmy’s bite mark on your shoulder. 

“Carmen,” you sigh, fingertips running over the huge bite mark on your shoulder – the one he left when he made while cumming inside of you.

Carmy takes a look, a small smirk on his lips as he sees what you’re referring to. He has to admit that he’s almost… proud of himself as he leans over, leaving a soft kiss against one of the rapidly forming purple bite marks left on the back of your shoulder. 

As much as he’d like to show the entire culinary world that you’re his, he removes the suit jacket he just put back on, and hands it to you. 

“Here. You can wear this.”

You giggle, taking it and appreciating Carmen’s act of chivalry. 

“As much as I’d love to do a walk of shame through a room full of the world’s best chefs… think I’ll keep this one between me and the one that just fucked me,” you joke playfully, as you kiss him as a ‘thank you.’

You check your reflection in the mirror as you drape the coat strategically over your shoulders, making sure you both look somewhat presentable enough to flee the scene with dignity. 

“Carm?” you ask. 

“Before we leave. I just-, I want you to-,” you stammer, uncertain if you’re doing the right thing by telling him. You’d hate to play into Nate’s little game – even if you both won after what just happened. 

“Hmm?”

“Just… you know… for the sake of factual accuracy and not that we’re playing Nate’s game at all but... you and I hooked up first. Nate just doesn’t know that.”

He nods in response, trying not to make it seem like a big deal. 

But it certainly makes him feel better.

“Well, if we’re being factually accurate…” he offers up in response. “I know you always thought our whole rivalry thing was one sided… but it wasn’t.”

“No?”

“Rode that guy as hard as I could, every chance I got,” he confesses, in reference to your old, very toxic work environment. 

“Because he deserved it?” 

“Because I hated how much he flirted with you.”

You shake your head with a small smile. Your phone is buzzing in your hand, letting you know that your Uber has arrived. 

“Let’s get the fuck out of here, Bear.”

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto #carmy x oc #the bear hulu #the bear fx #carmen 'carmy' berzatto #sydney adamu #make my heart surrender #carmy smut #carmy berzatto smut

[spacecowboyhotch]

The Bee and the Bear, Chapter 2: Back in the Beef

summary: carmy takes the first step to mending his relationship with you.

pairing: carmy berzatto x fem!reader (Bee)

contents: 18+/NSFW/eventual smut, grief, death of family member, explicit language, pining, longing

wc: 2.3k

an: back with part 2! i really love these two and the whole “will they, won’t they” vibes they give off. like obviously they’re in love and have been avoiding their whole lives, rippppp. let me know if i missed any warnings. thoughts/comments/reblogs are always appreciated!

series masterlist

chapter 1: And Then There Were 4 < |

Carmy usually doesn’t answer the phone– not because he doesn’t want to and not because he doesn’t care but because he’s busy. There’s always something to do. He’s always needed in the present, always necessary with each new step forward and that lends itself to be distant with those who aren’t right in front of you. But, when you call Carmy to let him know that The Beef is his, his phone is in his hand. He nearly drops it, watching as your contact name and an outdated picture of the two of you pop up on his screen.

He doesn’t decline the call, he watches it ring and ring until it goes to voicemail. And when your face disappears from the screen, his chest goes empty. The voicemail icon replaces the missed call notification on his phone and his hands grow clammy. He shoves his phone back into his coat pocket and fishes out a cigarette, lighting it quickly. After a few pulls he feels much more equipped to listen to your message.

This had to be about Mikey.

You’ve given up on him and stopped calling years ago when he failed to reciprocate your attempts at connection. Carmy’s sure that Mikey’s death is the only thing that could make you tolerate him after that. The ship he so desperately wanted to get on but ignored has sailed. But, maybe this call could be a lifeboat. Maybe through loss, he could get you back.

Were you calling to give him your condolences? To chew him out for not showing up to his brother’s funeral? He could take something like that from Sugar or Richie, even his mother– but not from you. From you, it would feel like a knife to the heart. He listens to the voicemail anyway.

Too much time has passed since he’s heard your voice. It's different and yet somehow all the same— a little deeper and less girlish— but still so smooth and sweet. You sound nervous and the beginning makes him chuckle under his breath in a white puff of air from the cold.

“Oh fuck, sorry. H-Hi, Carmen. It’s…it’s me. Nat and I just went through Mikey’s will and well…he left it to you. The Beef I mean, it’s yours. Sugar really needs you to come home to figure this out.”

Carmy goes breathless, eyes shutting as his mind starts to whirl. The restaurant he never got to work in is now his? Mikey had left him The Beef? Mikey had hardly ever trusted him with anything once he went away, and now is the time that he wants his skills? When he’s dead?

There’s a swell of emotions in his chest that make it tighten— grief, anger, devastation— and he’s about to hang up by smashing the phone into the ground when your voice plays again.

Your voice is softer this time, but infused with desperation and even some grit: “Just come home and help your fucking sister. Please, Carmy.”

He has no choice now. Not when you sound like that. He goes inside and quits his job. On the walk home he books a plane ticket and once inside he packs everything he can fit in a suitcase and calls around for storage units.

It’s time to go back to The Beef.

—

Carmy puts the ad out for a sous before he’s even finished packing. A day later when he gets a call from a chef named Sydney.

Sydney’s been waiting for something like this to roll around. She scours and picks through ads no matter the time of day: while she cases her route, in her ice-block of a mail truck on lunch, at 2 a.m. when she’s up writing recipe notes in her tiny black book. Before he’s even seen her resume he can feel that she’s the one but tells her to bring her resume to stag at the end of the week. He needs to feel the click in person before he just hires her on, especially with the shitshow he knows he’s about to put her through.

Mikey wasn’t wrong: The Beef is a mess. Nothing is clean, there’s no technique or nuisance, and the staff is rowdy and combative. Thank god for Sydney and her training, her tact. He’d be drowning otherwise. He was right about her, they’re perfect partners, finishing each other’s thoughts and movements, and ideas.

Richie’s hovering, ignoring his responsibilities to fuck with Carmy when he says, “Still can’t believe you let her walk out like that.”

Carmy meets Richie’s playful gaze with a glare, “Cousin, do me a favor and shut the fuck up.”

“Let who walk out?” Sydney asks curiously, eyes trained on her prep.

“Bee,” Fak supplies, perched on the counter behind them.

“Shut up, Fak,” Carmy pleads.

Sydney glances over her shoulder at him, “And who are you again?”

“I’m Fak. The Fak. Well there are multiple Faks but—“

Carmy cuts him off quickly, not in the mood to hear another one of his rants, “He fixes things for us. By the way Fak, aren’t you suppose to be, I don’t know, fucking working?”

“You got it.”

Sydney tries to keep her voice nonchalant, hoping that Carmy won’t feel pressured by her when she asks, “Who’s Bee?”

“Childhood friend,” He says reluctantly. “Can we focus on prep?”

Sydney ducks her head, that regret from before surging inside of her, “Yes, chef.”

“Thank you, chef.”

For the first time since he’s arrived, Carmy’s grateful for the insanity of The Beef. For the way that Tina and Ebra and Marcus and Richie never stop talking a mile a minute because they distract him from thoughts of you. All the guilt and shame that comes with the way he treated everyone of course, but most of all you. He’d always gotten vibes from you, even before he did on his own, Richie and Mikey and Sugar were trying to get him to open his eyes. Somewhere along the way he convinced himself that freeing you of him was the best for everyone involved.

“Cousin.” Richie’s voice pulls him out of his robotic routine.

Carmy’s eyes dart to the kitchen’s entrance but his hands don’t stop, “Fuck, what is it?”

When Richie’s voice is that quiet and earnest there’s a problem. Your face popping around Richie’s arm is enough of an answer and Carmy’s heart drops into his stomach. This wasn’t how he hoped to see you again. He’s been crafting a text for days, trying to figure out the best way to ask you to talk. But talking about all of it sounds so daunting. The double-edged sword of picking and prodding at all your shared wounds in some hopes of healing.

You glare up at Richie, “Richie, where’s Sugar? Why are you bein’ a fucking weirdo?”

“Oh, another person. Ok, ok,” Sydney nods, before turning back to her prep.

“Bee– what’re you doing here?” Carmy’s voice breaks and he winces at the way it sounds. It's not that he’s disappointed to see you, he just never wants you around this place. He’s all too aware that that sounds too much like Mikey, but quickly pushes the thought into the back of his mind.

Sydney’s curiosity peaks again at the sight of you. What are the odds that the seemingly infamous Bee would show up after Carmy avoided talking about her? 100%. She waves her knife at you, “Hi, I’m Sydney. Carmy’s sous.”

You smile at the woman, eyes lingering on her beautiful, patterned scarf for a moment, “Hi Sydney, good to meet you. Since Richie’s not answering my questions, have you seen Sugar?”

“Sugar’s not here,” Richie says simply, leaning up against the wall as eyes flicker between you and Carmy.

“She’s not here,” You repeat, your face twisting with confusion.

Carmy wipes his hands on his apron, stepping over to you with eyes full of concern, “Why? What’s wrong? What’s up?”

The way he’s looking at you makes your heart flutter in your chest. Goddamn those fucking blue eyes, so soft and so sad. “Oh, it’s nothing, really. She just— she told me to drop this off to her. Why would she not be here?

Carmy groans, scrubbing his hand over his face. His fucking sister. Always having to step in, always having to meddle and get in her hands in places they don’t belong. She’d set you— both of you up.

“I’ll be right back, Syd.”

“Gotcha.”

“Come with me,” He murmurs. You realize a beat too late that he's talking to you, so he grabs your hand and pulls you back to Mikey’s office. To his office. He releases your hand quickly, “Uh, what is it?”

You ignore the sweat that slicks your palms, trying not to think about whose it is, “Some paperwork that you’d need for the restaurant? I think it’s the deed, y’know switching it from Mikey to you. You’ll need it for like inspection or taxes or—“

He takes the envelope from your hands, his fingers brushing your own, “Thank you, thank you.”

“Yeah, of course.”

He does that thing he always does, squinting at you for a moment that shows he’s turning a thought over and over in his head.

You smile awkwardly at him, though that familiar look on his face endears him to you, “What?”

“Do you wanna hang out tomorrow night?” He asks in a mumbled rush.

He speaks so quickly that you almost don’t understand him, except that you’ve been waiting for him to ask you that question since you were 18.

“What?”

He shrugs, running a hand through his messy hair, “Hang out, do you want to like do something?”

“With me?”

He raises a brow like he doesn’t know what you mean, “Yeah, you could come to my apartment? I could cook.”

“Oh. Um, yeah, sure. It’s been a while.”

He laughs, nodding a few times, “Yeah it has.”

You chuckle, licking your lips, “I imagine this is what Sugar wanted.”

His eyes track your mouth before he can stop himself but he forces his gaze back up, “Yeah, she’s smart like that.”

“She is. I’ll let her know her plan worked,” You tease.

He laughs again— a short, bright sound, “Cool, cool. So, I’ll text you my address?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Should I bring anything?”

“Some wine, maybe?”

“Any kind?”

“Anything you want, Bee.”

And god the way he says your name. The way he’s looking at you again with those stupidly pretty blue eyes. You never stood a chance.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

He sighs in relief now that the hard part is done, his smile widening at the thought of you sitting at his kitchen table, “Heard.”

You snort, shaking your head at his stupid chef talk, “Heard.”

The two of you are too wrapped up in each other, floating in your bubble of awkward bliss to have heard that Sydney’s knife stopped chopping, or that Richie stopped fucking with someone else. Too occupied to hear their steps get closer and closer to the office, or that the tips of their heads are peaking around the corner. That is until you playfully push his shoulder, pushing his body in a way that brings them into his peripheral vision.

Carmy’s eyes go wide for a moment, his head tilting in inquiry as he looks at Sydney and Richie, “You two joinin’ forces, huh?”

Sydney gives you a sheepish smile, her eyes full of regret, “We were just— we were um—“

“Good to meet you, Sydney. Richie,” You say as you snake between the two of them.

Richie dips to press a kiss to your temple, “See you, sweetheart.”

Carmy returns to his station without a word to either of them even when they join him back in the kitchen. For a while there’s silence again– though this time it is clearly awkward, full of things unsaid.

Breaking the silence, Richie does his best impression of Carmy, “Hang out, do you want to like do something?”

Carmy points the knife at him, scowling, “Oh, fuck you Richie! Why don’t you fuck off.”

Sydney tries to hold in her laughter and fails, giggling, “She must be down pretty for that to have worked.”

Carmy’s brows raise so high it’s comical, “Oh, really?”

“I’m fuckin’ with you, Carm.”

“Yeah, fuck you, fuck the both of you,” He says through a laugh.

Richie does fuck off, going back out to the front of house to do his job for once. It leaves Sydney and Carmy in the hustle and bustle of prep again.

She bumps his shoulder with her own, “You deserve it, Carmy.”

His mouth twitches as he glances over at her and when their eyes meet, he knows she’s being genuine. “Thanks, Syd. Can we like, maybe never talk about this again?”

“Totally, yeah. For sure. Absolutely,” She agrees easily and they both laugh, deep in their bellies.

–

You drive home with a lightness in your step, one you are pointedly trying to ignore because this is nothing but two friends seeing each other after being apart for some while. You have a partner to go home, a life to go home to. And Carmy’s never given you any indication that this was more than friendship. He wouldn’t have left you out in the cold if it was more…right? He wouldn’t do this to you if he loved you like that, would he? It doesn’t matter how many times you try to rationalize what has and hasn’t happened between you and Carmy– it never makes it hurt less.

That night a wave of nostalgia washes over you as you lay in your childhood bedroom, thinking about Carmy. You feel 16 again, staring up at the faded purple paint covered in droves of flowers. As you close your eyes, you answer some of those questions that popped into your mind at the thought of calling him.

He is the machine you thought he’d become. But his eyes are just as deep, but sadder. His laugh is the same, a little awkward but just as genuine. The flush in his cheeks proves that his heart still beats. He is that boy you fell in love with all those years ago, even as the man he’s become.

He’s your Carmy. Your Bear. It makes you ache.

| > chapter 3: Like a Bear to a Hive

18+ carmy taglist: @treefingers, @mrsdominickstark, @princess-of-fanfics, @whore-for-murdock, @xxxstormyninixxx, @dreamingwithlens, @thecraziestcrayon, @jam1esl0v4, @lilylovelyxo, @jadeittic, @jotarokuj0, @bunnysthngs, @gcidrvsh, @mistalli, @luvr-bunnyy, @s3xymoonman, @salinaiacono6

If you ask to be added to the taglist but didn’t verify you’re 18+ you will not be added!

#carmy x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x fem!reader #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmy x you #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #carmy berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fic #the bear fanfiction #the bee and the bear #arson writes the bear #not sfw

[cruciomione]

"fixing" the panic attack scene to be more platonic ™

im extremely active on twt and have been noticing a sydcarmy tweet go viral multiple times a week (like w thousands of interactions its crazy), and its really great to see how much people love and see it for this ship. recently carmys panic attack scene went viral again, and naturally, some ppl gave their piece about how we are all dumb for interpreting it as romantic. that sydney represents his love for his job or his duty to the restaurant (*sigh*).

this scene imo, is the most concrete proof of this ship. i can excuse (not really) interpreting every interaction between them thus far as platonic but this scene....i just refuse. this is gonna be a long post, not analyzing the scene per se because i can't possibly say anything that hasn't already been said but more "fixing" the scene to fit the narrative of antis, and i hope in doing so really shows there's no other way to interpret this scene as other than romantic. again its gonna be a long post bc im just ranting and i think i will lose my mind if i dont type this out.

lets go.

so first off i like to think of this scene as an equation/experiment. simply a problem that needs to be solved.

problem/reason of panic = ...we will discuss this...

solution # 1 = claire -> failed

solution # 2 = sydney -> worked.

Problem/Reason

s02e09 opens up with carmy and claire finally consummating their relationship, with an interesting song choice might i add and carmy dissociating, looking sad, or broken (???) after. because many have said carmy pulling memories of sydney from his psyche to calm down have to do with work i always remember that, it really doesnt make any sense?

carmy is clearly having a panic attack due to him not being "fixed" as soon as he made it official with claire. he felt pressure from his family both currently and in the past to date claire because she is amazing and perfect. add mikey also being a part of that crowd, and carmy so desperately trying to connect with him when he cannot, is why i think he looks so despondent after that scene. i truly think he thought he would be a changed person after everything with claire and when that didn't happen he flipped...

we know this is the reason bc his panic attack starts with their sex scene and the lyric "I dont know" from strange currencies by REM.

this isn't to say that he isn't nervous or stressed about the soft open but its clear that he's not having a panic attack about work nor have we ever seen him have a work-related panic attack (correct me if I'm wrong). in s1 he has one or two due to him greiving his brother.

platonic fix: To make it about work I would have added scenes like when Carmy started that stove fire in braciole, his meltdown in review, some scenes of his horrible time at EMP, and him grieving his brother. i think these would represent his fear of failure, falling back into old toxic habits pertaining his career, the fear of fostering a toxic work environment like the ny chef and also the idea of "failing" mikey

but theres a reason why none of this occurs bc its not about his job or the opening of the bear. this is explicitly about his personal and romantic love life.

Solution # 1 : Claire

carmy proceeds to try and calm down by thinking of claire through literal rose-coloured glasses...

the music is distorted, he's thinking of his abusive family, he remembers every one pushing him to date claire bc shes a #goodthing.

again...this is not about his job and wouldnt make sense to think of sydneys place in his work life as a soultion to his clear personal problem....

platonic fix: in the story of carmys love life claire and sydney act as narrative foils. they have been compared and contrasted for all of s2. my platonic fix for this would be making the NY chef this first "solution" of a work-related panic attack. he represents a horrible time in his life but also represents a time when carmy was at the height of his career. when carmy gets locked in the walk in and has his monologue, its alluded to that he will revert back to that mind set in order to not let everyone down.

NY chef abused him for so long, it makes sense that carmys psyche would readily go back to his insults and the time he himself was an isolated 'psycho' bc it yielded results.

nothing is black and white and i DO think sydney represents a healthier approach to the toxic mess that is the culinary world and does represent that for carmy. if the show was invested in that, sydney and the NY chef could be overtly contrasted like sydney and claire have been.

BUT again this isnt about his job and dedication as a chef...thus why he tries to think of claire to solve his personal problem, and it fails.

Solution # 2: Sydney

LMFAOOO.

carmy then in a crazy plot twist starts thinking of his platonic work bestie sydney adamu....the love song dedicated by the show to his relationship with his girlfriend is then made clear highlighting some pretty damning lyrics about desire and love.....all platonic btw. yes you are dumb if you think otherwise (*wink*)

I actually have two platonic fixes for this...

platonic fix # 1: if we only wanted to focus on sydney as a person who calms carmy down because shes his work bestie who represents his responsibilty to the bear and the postive change they are trying effect in the culinary world, i would add scenes where they are...you know actually cooking???

i think its pretty crazy how the memories carmys immediately jump to are ones that have little to do with their jobs. when they first meet (would also like to note that when carmy first laid eyes on Sydney, he forgot she was there for a job, so this is his raw reaction to seeing a pretty girl lol) and when she comes back after she quit and their break up fight.

i would add their scenes in carmys kitchen (even tho this is extremely damning bc they were flirting DOWN - they don't make this easy at all). this represents their collaboration skills and the way they WORK and bounce ideas off of each other seamlessly. specifically the scene about him wanting to give her a star, representing his duty to her and the restaurant.

*and no shade to carmy but if his responsibility to the bear/syd as a co-worker was bothering him this much and calmed him down wouldn't he have just immediately called the fridge guy.....anyways*

platonic fix # 2 (the best one): if i was chris storer and joanna calo and i REALLY wanted to sell it that carmy isnt in love with sydney then i would put every single member of the OG beef crew + Nat to calm him down not just Sydney.

im talking to them laughing at family, carmy giving tina his chefs knife, richie in his new suit, carmys one on one w Marcus/trying his donut, nat telling carmy shes pregnant (signifing rebirth/wanting to rid all the toxic abuse from his family), carmy trying sydney risotto, and her face when he said it was tremendous etc etc...you get the gist

and honestly?

even as i type this out im tearing up a little bit bc that would have been really beautiful. carmy is changing. he can and is getting rid of old toxic habits from his family and the mess that is the culinary industry. things are changing for the better....that would be beautiful....IF his panic attack was about any of these things lol.

and to even look at this scene without this need for symmetry and we entertain the idea of carmy thinking about his job as a solution for his personal problem...carmy has said himself (s02e01) that this isnt fun for him. i dont think that means he hates cooking i kinda disagree with the ppl who think he isnt passionate about it. i just think currently its something that doesnt bring him joy but i do think its something hes starting to or at least could have started to enjoy if he just committed to working with syd...

conclusion

theres a lot of....delusion? denial? straight up bias? yes all of that, going on.

idk what is happening bc this show is really great at being subtle. but i dont know whats more in your face, dumbed down, even a toddler could understand, than this scene. if you dont come out of this understanding that carmy is falling in love/currently in love with Sydney...and i hate using this term..but you just arent media literate.

bonus: bc it makes me laugh and connects the purpose and solutions.

i think we need a Snyder Sydcarmy Cut™ of bolognese and omelette.

the start of the episode is when sydney and carmy fight over claires inclusion in the menu, and also when sydney randomly asks him to define his relationship with Claire. the episode would continue until we get to the table scene.

i think its WILD how as soon as Sydney asks him to define their relationship, carmy starts calling claire his girlfriend. then the show proceeds to insert sydney in their romantic montage, shows her tattoo about heartbreak and someone getting in the way of your relationship...THEN proceeds to have carmy compare these two women in his mind and only calms down after seeing Sydney.

i could talk about this scene for AGES. wheres the straitjacket....

#the bear #sydcarmy #carmen x sydney #sydney x carmy #carmen berzatto #sydney adamu #idk why i typed this out #its not even really meta im just crazy about them and even more crazier about defending them #also tired of seeing braindead takes #yea... #hope you enjoyed my rant #time to go study for this bio midterm #my rants #sydcarmy meta

[averysarmkandy]

I am here to talk about Golden Cage Au Avery, cause I love him!

It’s early on the same, meeting Avery, going on dates as his love slowly blooms. Dancing, dining, wining, socializing, having you as his perfect arm candy.Then, he starts to get more generous. Jewelry, clothes, higher checks, refurnished your room, anything and everything you want he gets. But you better wear them

Then, he starts monopolizing your time, always waiting for you after school, picking you up before school, getting breakfast Sunday mornings, eventually melts into him giving you an internship under him, specifically!He buys you a uniform (which is more form fitting than a business attire should be) and has you do simple things. Bring him coffee, file paperwork, make copies. Keep him entertained.

Eventually he has you do online classes so you can work for him more, with better money! And a new cell phone to go with the new job, since you’re now his assistant/secretary He’s secretly put a tracker on your phone and he can see anything and everything you do on it. Sometimes he even turns on the camera and watches you as you read texts from him! He likes to know what makes you blush.

Avery is smart, he doesn’t do this all at once, he slowly builds up his control. It will take months before he has you firmly in his home, never leaving unless with him. He’s now paying your debt to Bailey, even pays Robin’s if it keeps you quiet and submissive. You don’t even realize it until someone from school sees you and asks where you’ve been!

You’ve basically been missing for a few weeks now, Sydney, and Robin have been looking for you! You are so surprised, it hasn’t been that long has it? You go out all the time! You go to church on Sundays with Avery, you go to the markets during the weekends with Avery, you have quaint little dates at Sam’s with Avery. Always with Avery.

This is where you start to notice the chains. Your life is so scheduled by Avery if you are five minutes late from a bathroom break Avery is checking on you. When’s the last time you’ve showered by yourself? Or gone out alone? Avery says it’s dangerous though, and…he’s not wrong

Whenever you get the go ahead from Avery to do something alone, which you don’t think is fair having to ask, something bad happens. You get beaten up, attacked, robbed, ect. And somehow Avery always comes and finds you, huddled in a corner crying as the new clothes he just bought you have been torn away and stained

Avery is always so gentle afterwards, saying how he should have been there to protect you as he carries you back to the car. He carefully cleans you up, and kisses your forehead while you cry into his shoulder. Maybe you should just stay with him, safe.

Avery is safe after all, he only punishes you when you misbehave after all.

#dol #degrees of lewdity avery #degrees of lewdity #avery x reader #dol avery #dark #yandere #golden cage au

[astermath]

hi! i'd like to ask a one shot on carmen berzatto in which the reader is an italian girl her early/mid 20s who works as a waiter at the bear and is sydney's best friend. her and carmen meet through her and they start secretly dating. the rest is up to you

thank you <3

hi!! I simplified your request a little,, it's more like a blurb / headcanon thing than a oneshot because I'm working on a long chapter for my nemesis series rn lol, hope that's okay!! thank you for the request angel! ♡

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

tags: sydney being a matchmaker somehow, not so secret relationship, exactly what it says in the ask lol, normal size font below!

wc: 0.9K

let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content!

+ when it comes to hiring waiters, carmen just wants someone who's experienced. someone who knows what they're doing and who can do it well. and quickly. this restaurant has to work, has to make everyone proud, and the staff has to reflect that.

+ sydney instantly thought of you as a reference. you'd worked at your family restaurant back in italy, and when you moved to chicago, had continued said occupation to support yourself in various restaurants. though none were as nice as "the bear".

+ so when your friend had called you up for an interview for a brand new restaurant with one of the most promising chefs of the country, of course you took the offer.

+ though carmen knew most waiters were usually... presentable, he didn't quite imagine you to be this fucking pretty when you showed up for the interview. he almost forgot every question he was meaning to ask when you walked through that door, all bubbly excitement and feminine flair.

+ he loved hearing you talk about your life in italy before moving to the states, your experiences working in the service industry, your passion for food and people... he almost forgot he was supposed to be conducting an interview at all, he just adored hearing you talk so much.

+ and sydney noticed too. she noticed the way he had such an easy time conversing with you, which is odd behavior for him, to say the least. she was just glad the two of you were getting along, and her friend had a chance of getting hired.

+ and of course you were hired. not only was carmy already hooked on you, but so was most of the other staff. your bright personality and quick witted comments were nice and refreshing when things got a little too stressful. plus, you worked fast and efficiently; what more could they ask for?

+ carmen’s interest in you remained. he knew it was a little wrong, since technically, yes, he is your boss. which is why he was a bit reluctant to do anything at first.

+ you were making all the first moves. giving him meaningful glances during quiet moments, helping him out with things that didn’t apply to your job position, staying later to help him close up and clean. even if it meant you’d be tired as all hell by the time you were home, at least you were spending time with him. to you, it was more than worth it.

+ and he seemed to think the same. carmen never thought the closing shift could be as fun as it was when you were there. these days he was almost fighting richie for it, claiming that it was more fitting for him anyways since it was his place after all.

+ late night shifts turned into walking you home. walking you home turned into hanging out at your apartment for a glass of wine. a glass of wine turned into kissing on the couch. kissing on the couch turned into staying the night… you’d fallen into a routine with him so easily, sometimes you forgot there was a time before carmen was in your life. it just felt so… natural. like it was always supposed to be like this.

+ and though you really liked carmen, you didn’t want to jeopardize your position at the restaurant. you’d finally found a stable, well paying job, it would be a shame if you lost it over a relationship with your superior. though sometimes, you wondered if it would be worth it. to risk it for carmen.

+ carmen agreed, and so the two of you continued to keep your relationship under wraps for the time being. it was for the better, and besides, it’s not like he talked much about his personal life to his colleagues either. well, except for sydney.

+ and boy did she have her suspicions. of course she’d find out eventually, she’s a very smart and observant person. she can figure out carmen so easily, so she’s definitely not oblivious to the sneaking glances and hidden smiles, or the way he always manages to stay behind with you at the restaurant. not even the hickey you tried so desperately to cover up with makeup slips past her radar.

+ but she doesn’t say anything, at least not for a while. she lets the two of you live out your little secret relationship, believing she doesn’t know, until she accidentally slips up about it.

+ you’re complaining about the noise in your apartment and your lack of sleep because of it, clearly frustrated, when sydney asks “why don’t you just sleep over at carmen’s again then?”

+ she doesn’t realise she’d revealed that she’s known all along, until you look at her like you just saw a ghost. you’re about to defend yourself and come up with some excuse, when behind your friend, you can see carmen standing at the bar, smiling to himself as he cleans the counter.

+ it brings you comfort to know that apparently, he doesn’t mind anyone knowing. the secrecy was more for you than for him if anything. you’re not his little secret, not at all, and that became very clear when he’d start talking sydney's ear off about you after. though she does find it annoying, she’s glad two very important people in her life have found each other and are making it work.

+ plus, it’s nice that you two always cover the closing shift.

+ though she has her doubts about what you two are actually up to alone in the restaurant past closing time.

tag list <3

@beebslebobs @thatone-brightstar  @spr3id  @deadandstill  @777iii  @magicboytrash  @wiipes @sierrahhh  @crayzmarvelfan800 @azxulaa  @astridyoo15   @rexorangecouny  @azxulaa @jointherebellion215  @wolfiealina @dogdevourer 

#carmenmath #aster writes the bear #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto the bear #carmen berzatto writing #carmen berzatto blurb #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmen berzatto x y/n #the bear fic #the bear imagine #diorrfairy #jeremy allen white imagine #carmen berzatto #the bear writing

[coreofmyfruits]

HEAD CANNONS !

★ Billy Loomis + Stu Macher

Stu Macher ↓

Physical traits

Pigeon toed

6'4

Has to usually duck down through door ways

Slouchy posture

Has immense upper back pain

Prone to head aches

Left handed

Large hands (Billy calls them monkey paws)

Warm hands

Has a bunch of scars on his knuckles

Has a lot of scars in general but they accumulate in the same general areas

Personality

ADHD

ASD (autism spectrum disorder)

NPD (narcissistic personality disorder)

Stu got diagnosed with ADHD at a young age due to always being an interruption in class and especially silent reading, always having to get up and be doing something. Not too long after he got diagnosed with ASD because of his lack of awareness and his parents concerns about him being behind in class work (he just wasn't doing it). Stu never got properly diagnosed with NPD he never even thought of himself being a narcissist.

Likes and interests

Horror movies (mainly psychological thrillers)

His favorite movie is Eraserhead

Favorite color is black (because when he first met Billy he thought Billy's eyes looked black)

Loves to read

likes to read to Billy in silly voices (especially when it gets to a 'serious scary' part of the book)

Likes Edgar Allan Poe and Oscar Wilde

He likes hip hop and rap but really likes ska punk and surfer punk (queercore is also a must)

Likes low riders

Unironicaly loves the show Pimp my Ride

Actively ghost rides the whip

Wants a jacuzzi in his car because of Pimp my Ride

Likes to compare hand sizes with Billy because it pisses Billy off

Uses Billy's head as an arm rest

Steals Billy's clothes specifically his pants because they're baggy enough to fit but he can wear them as low-rise and he loves when Billy tells him to take off HIS pants because Stu looks 'stupid'

Stu just likes it when Billy turns red and tells him to take off his clothes

Always an opportunity to carry Billy anywhere bridal style never an opportunity not to

The scent of Billy's shampoo and how he naturally smells like pinecones and rain

Antique surgical tools

Dislikes

Bitches, cunts, liars oh my!

Sydney, not because he's jealous of her and Billy but because he used to have a crush on her

Betrayal

Abandonment

Being ignored

Talked over

Fish he fucking hates fish

The beach after it rains

Tooth pain

Unneeded laugh tracks

Sitcoms

YA romance novels

White women audacity

Starbucks

Lines

Victim mentality and complexes

Billy's stubborness

Love languages

Acts of service

Words of affirmation

Physical touch

Sexuality

Bisexual

Billy Loomis ↓

Physical traits

Slightly bow legged

5'9

Overly Straight posture

General neck pain

Tense shoulder muscles

Has Hyperacusis

Prone to migraines

Left handed

Shorter fingers wide palms and strong grip strength

Always has cold as fuck hands

Has a lot of scars mainly on his middle to lower back

Half Mexican

Easily tans

Frizzy hair

(slightly) Allergic to red food dye

Personality

ASD (autism spectrum disorder)

ASPD (anti social personality disorder)

Billy has not been diagnosed with either ASD or ASPD he's not even aware of the possibility of him having one especially not both at once. Billy's father was never around enough to notice Billy's acute behaviors or to even think of getting a specialist to diagnose him also Mr.Loomis is a lawyer it wouldn't look good for his job if his son was 'crazy'.

Likes and interests

Horror movies (slashers)

Favorite movie is before sunrise

Favorite color is teal (he would never admit it but it's because Stu looks good in teal)

Mainly listens to the same three bands (pixies, Radiohead, my bloody Valentine)

Loves the song pink triangle by weezer

Has a guilty pleasure for 40s and 50s love songs

Likes to draw

Favorite artist are Keith Haring, Andy Worhal and Francis Bacon

Draws like Franz Kafka (he doesn't know who Franz Kafka is this is just a reference to what I think his drawings would look like)

Really likes playing in the mud and jumping in puddles

Loves worms

Eats the shit out of some Oreos

Plain hotdogs

Likes how large Stu's hands are

How Stu smells like warm wool and fire

When Stu picks him up

Biting Stu (mainly his shoulders)

Stu in HIS pants

Tea

When Stu reads to him

Blood

Phantom skulls

Dislikes

Sydney, he's never even liked Sydney not before he found out about her mom and his dad and especially not after... He just always had this feeling

Tatum Riley (he looks better on Stu)

Cops pigs and donuts

Healthcare system in America

Abandonment

Betrayal

Being cut off

Being hung up on

Noise in general

Phone bills

Lawyers

Ableist(ism)

Ableist infrastructure

Gender pay gap

Misogynists

Hamburgers

Poppyseed buns

Layering clothes (he would rather freeze than put more than over shirt on)

Socks

Shoes in the house

Hot weather

Sweating

Baths

Coffee

Reading

Love languages

Words of affirmation

Acts of service

Gift giving

Sexuality

Asexual (non sex repulsed) and queer

★

Tags !

@ghostfacemp3

#scream 1996 #scream movies #billy loomis scream #stu macher scream #stu macher x billy loomis #billy loomis x stu matcher #stu x billy #billy x stu #billy loomis #billy loomis headcanon #stu macher #stu macher headcanons #headcanon

[museofthepyre]

GOOOOOOOD MORNING CAMPERS, TODAYS ACTIVITY IS… HOMESTUCK. I’ve been thinking about this.

Sydney is a mage of doom.

Deeply understands death and decay, through... experience... closeness, to a self-destructive extent. He also deeply appreciates it! Worms n mushrooms n such.)

Jedidiah is page of time

(Works unseen. Only shows up for others in dire situations, Provides his aspect to those who really need it... which uh... yk. Time. Yk how Sydney was really running out and he. Uhhhhhh. Yeah.)

Elijah is theif of heart

(He steals away the autonomy and passions of others, replacing it with HIS powerful religious fervour... or drowsy complaisance for Sydney)

Up and Adam is prince of blood

(Imagine being so. FUCKING. HORRIBLE AT YOUR JOB AS A RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLOR, THAT YOURE CLASSED AS A PRINCE OF BLOOD /hj. DESTROYER OF BONDS. But I mean that is exactly his intent. also vampire coincidence hehe)

More to come. Probably. That’s all I got for now. (Also ik muse Is a real master class, but it felt like cheating and mage fits Sydney better methinks).

#ramblings #camp here and there #chnt #camp here & there #ch&t #sydney sargent #sydney o sargent #elijah volkov #the elephant man #pink elephant man #jedidiah a a martin #jedidiah martin #up and adam #adam ch&t #homestuck #classpect

[whoiwanttoday]

So here is Sydney Sweeney again. I didn't really want to post her again so soon because I always hate doing that. It feels somehow boring but also what am I going to say? I have no clue but it would also be insincere to do otherwise because as she promotes her new movie she is just knocking it out of the park. I think so at least. I saw a comment online saying her dress is "vulgar" and she needs to, "get some class". Which is sort of wild to me that people are so obsessed with how much boob she is showing these days when she always has. Except it's not wild, because I have been alive more than five minutes and know how the world treats women. Still, I get this special sort of mad when I see someone telling women how to dress, either more or less conservatively because it always seems to come from this place where the person just cannot conceptualize that woman doesn't exist for their pleasure and consumption. Anyway, in a fit of pique I said outloud, "Get thee to a nunnery!" I was pretty pleased with myself there but there was no one to high five me. It's just me and the loaf of bread I made this morning because my lunch guests aren't here yet. It's a little disappointing to pop out a multilayered joke and get no love for it but it works on multiple levels guys. Cause see, Hamlet was basically calling Ophelia a whore there but also Sydney Sweeney's new movie has her playing a nun. What I am saying is once you realize I have read Shakespeare's most famous play and I know about horror movies I am sure someone will want to build a statue of me. Back to Sydney Sweeney, she is showing a lot of boob in one of these dresses but I have to say vulgar never crossed my mind for it. I think it's an attractive dress and does a good job of being elegant and sexy. What the fuck do I know though, other than I have long noticed if large breasted women show any cleavage they are whores and sluts and if they are cover up they are prudes. Crazy how that works. Today I want to fuck Sydney Sweeney.

#Sydney Sweeney #blonde #Actress #whoiwanttofucktoday

[callmewrinkles3]

Deuxmoi Submissions, 2023

January

Spotted: Daniel Riccardo and his long-time girlfriend Emma on a romantic date at a restaurant in Perth. Weird thing was this time his manager was also there side by side in company of a blonde girl.

-

February

Subject: Twins

Email: [email protected]

Message: saw Daniel Ricciardo and his manager on a double date. One of the women was definitely Ricciardo’s girlfriend (and I think I saw a ring????) the other looked like her sister?

-

March

Spotted: Daniel Ricciardo’s fiancée flower shopping with a group of women. Is the wedding happening?

-

April

Spotted: saw like four F1 drivers (Charles LeClerc, Max Verstappen, Lance Stroll, and Esteban Ocon) getting off planes at Perth airport. I work the private terminal and there was a load of extra jets in. Is the F1 Royal Wedding happening?

-

May

Message: what Met gala attendee had a meltdown because her dress didn’t fit her chest an hour before her red carpet time? She didn’t get a lot of attention but she’s got a couple of high profile places to be this month with her husband, let’s see if it’s just her chest expanding.

-

June

Subject: wait WHAT

Email: [email protected]

Message: ok I could be wrong but I think I saw everyone’s favourite Australian who isn’t doing his usual job leaving a maternity hospital in [removed for their privacy] with his wife. Both looked delighted, he was the happiest he’s been in years

-

July

Spotted: I work at a high end baby furniture shop and a high profile athlete and his wife came in. No clue how nobody knows she’s pregnant, it’s pretty obvious. Happy for them, they’re very in love and he couldn’t keep his hands off the bump

Update: yeah it was Daniel Ricciardo and his wife, also the tip they gave the furniture delivery bought us all takeout.

-

August

Saw Daniel Ricciardo and his wife in the same restaurant as me in Faenza. They’re too cute and he wasn’t drinking wine because she can’t thanks to her pregnancy.

*

Spotted: Em Ricciardo is a sweetheart! I was lost in Milan trying to find the train station with no phone signal, she speaks what sounded like fluent Italian and got the directions for me!

September

Subject: bundle of joy

Email: [email protected]

Message: Got to see the former Red Bull teammates at Formula Nurnburgring, but the highlight for me was watching Sebastian Vettel giving Emma Ricciardo a giant hug and a gift bag. It’s really obvious that they get along well, she was there cheering him in his car. His wife was there too, saw her and Emma chatting.

—

October

Spotted: Daniel Ricciardo out for dinner with his wife, his manager, and what looked like his wife’s friend? It was his manager’s birthday and they sang happy birthday, but they did a toast later.

Spotted: Em Ricciardo looking so proud at her husband’s contract announcement. Red Bull got Dan a onesie for the new baby, it was adorable.

—

November

Spotted: Daniel Ricciardo running through LAX to catch a Qantas flight to Sydney. Someone mentioned his wife is due soon, is the baby coming?

Spotted: Em Ricciardo in Perth airport, looked like she was collecting Dan from Vegas. She’s still pregnant! #F1BabyWatch

—

December

Subject: flowers

Email: [email protected]

Message: I work in a florist and we had 22 bouquets sent to one room in [redacted] hospital in Perth. Most of the calls came from UK and European numbers. Looks like F1’s latest baby has arrived!

#call it what you want fic #ciwyw media #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo fanfic #f1 imagine #formula 1 imagine #formula one imagine #formula one fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 fanfic

[spywhitney]

🫱🏻‍🫲🏿Carmy is going to massage Sydney's hand(s) ❤️‍🩹

Unsurprisingly, I noticed something that caught my attention while watching a reaction to s2 ep8 (because I still haven't watched the show myself, I don't want to pay for it and the friend of a friend disney plus subscription I was going to use is paused rn, jesus christ let that not be so-) which was the episode starting with Sydney, a shot of her hands running across a table, then it cut to Carmy's hands. Which kind of inspired this:

Now imagine this: an entire episode with just Sydney and Carmy. I have the image of an episode with little music or very chill, low-key intimate music playing in the background. It's them cooking. Either the tension from season 2 or a more recent friction hangs in the air at the beginning, and it starts off with cold colours.

(Darn, I've browsed so many sydcarmy fics I'm not sure which it was, but there was one I read where they do a catering event for Uncle Jimmy together. If I find it I'll share it in the comments.) Because that's a wonderful, realistic idea that totally fits in the show and what the episode will be focused on.

Episode 3, 5, 6 or 9 would be a good place for it to happen (in Season 3, fingers crossed) and it reiterates just how in sync they naturally are: finishing each others sentences, moving around the kitchen wordlessly, handing each other ingredients before the other has to ask etc. Let a big chunk of the episode just be the shots of them being together, talking kept to a minimum even, so when they do it's more poignant.

Right before they'd be done with a good chunk of the prep, Sydney is chopping onions but stops to cradle her right hand and Carmy immediately asks her what's wrong (could even be a moment before this point he asks what's wrong with her hand but she waves him off).

They both sit on these step stools after Carmy tells Sydney to rest for a minute, then he gestures to her and Carmy starts massaging her hand with his. They need to get the food ready, but Carmy is meticulous: putting firm pressure between her knuckles, rubbing the ache from her fingers, moving in circles over her palm.

And initially Sydney closed her eyes from the discomfort, but once it starts to feel good she keeps them closed (because of course she does). Carmy begins staring at her (because of course he does) and is enamoured by her expression, so decides to start running his hands up her arm.

But then, two things happen: Carmy has a thought kind of like this "I wonder how much she'd let me feel her until she opens her eyes?" And Sydney lets out a sigh/maybe shudders a bit when a certain touch tickles or something.

Lots of emotions simmer below the surface. They both stop. Sydney opens her eyes, Carmy lets go like she's on fire. The tension is broken like the under the table scene. It's a subtle (or maybe not so subtle) wtf was I just doing moment for them both.

Energy. It feels a little more charged between them, but they finish the job, albeit with a cautious distance. The lighting in the episode was slowly growing warmer, maybe it reaches its peak by the end, or it's turned to a slightly cooler tone. It would be cool if the episode ended with no music.

Ty to everyone who has read this ramble to the end (if anyone does).

#sydcarmy #the bear #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #sydney x carmy #carmy x sydney #platonic and messy #charged and sexy #the bear is a love story

[moments-on-film]

Moments on Film: Carmy and Inappropriate Affect

Among Carmen’s many physical and psychological issues due to his undiagnosed PTSD from various sources and depression, he also displays inappropriate affect, a psychological term which I will describe below. Carmy has exhibited behavior that suggests inappropriate affect from the first episode in season 1, to the last episode in season 2.

The first time I noticed this, it was in the scene where Richie comes to Carmy’s aid in 1x1. Richie comes outside and essentially rescues Carmy from being beaten up by the Ballbreaker players waiting to come inside for the tournament. Richie is funny in the scene—to us as audience members—but it’s not intentional and Richie is actually very serious and pissed, exhibited by the fact that he lays into Carmy in the next scene. Yet in the scene outside, Carmy smiles and is about to laugh. Why? Perhaps he finds Richie funny, or the situation ridiculous, but from what we have seen of his personality profile so far, Carmy is a very serious person so this behavior feels very sudden and odd. Richie literally just shot off a gun. It is not an appropriate response to the situation.

According to Better Health, inappropriate affect is defined as:

“a condition where one's emotional actions or displays do not logically relate to a situation or stimuli. Common examples of inappropriate affect include smiling at the news of a tragedy or remaining unemotional during a very emotional situation.

When mental health professionals are looking for insight into what may be causing one to manifest inappropriate affect, they’ll often look for past trauma or other psychological concerns. Inappropriate affect is usually a sign of a deeper psychological or physical health concerns such as PTSD, depression, or some form of brain damage.

The following are some major signs of inappropriate affect: expressing emotions that do not fit reality; abnormal emotional responses; depression, irritability, or outbursts of anger without an obvious cause; manic episodes.”

In this post, I’m not going to get into Carmy’s other signs of inappropriate affect, such as depression, irritability, outbursts of anger without an obvious cause or manic episodes, which he certainly suffers from, perhaps I will in a different post. Here, I’m going to focus on several examples of Carmy’s abnormal emotional responses.

Above is another example of Carmy laughing in a serious situation. The delivery guy comes to deliver a 200 pound order in 1x8 and Carmy discovers that it’s pork and not beef. Pork is useless to Carmy. The name of his restaurant is literally “The Beef” and he needs it to survive. The stakes are very high for Carmy to have a successful, profitable run of service every time he opens the doors. He’s trying to save the one thing his brother left him, he owes his Uncle Jimmy $300,000 and promised he’d pay him back, his sister Natalie could lose her house if the restaurant fails, Sydney’s well being really matters to Carmy and she’s now under his protection and care as her boss, and the entire staff at The Beef relies on their jobs to live and pay their bills.

I don’t think Carmy takes any of this lightly. He understands the stakes. As he told Sydney in 1x5, “we lose one service it could kill us.” Granted, the delivery guy (shoutout to the actor portraying the delivery guy) is so deadpan in his “delivery”, that it almost is funny, but given the high stakes, Carmy’s reaction is abnormal here and will continue to be abnormal in the following scene in the walk-in when he realizes how behind he is on prep and that the restaurant is not prepared to open. This sets off a chain of disturbing dissociative behavior that almost results in him burning himself up, and the restaurant down.

Gif credit: The very kind @tvfantic87

Another example of possible inappropriate affect is in the moment when Carmy is reading Michael’s final words to him in the season 1 finale. There was so much buildup to this moment and so much emotion tied to the fact that we learn that Michael told Carmy that he loves him, and uses the words that Carmy has been playing in his head to comfort himself all season, “let it rip.” In this moment I was truly waiting for Carmy to break down and cry, to have the desperately needed release of a catharsis, but he never does. He gets emotional for a brief moment and then, as if on a dime, his face twists into a grimace and he laughs. I attribute his laugh and “what?!” to Carmy reading the part of the recipe “the smaller cans taste better”, in reference to the small cans of tomatoes, which has puzzled Carmy all season, and also the fact that he’s so happy and relieved that his brother didn’t forget about him. His reaction could also be an inappropriate response to the situation due to his inability to process his feelings because of his suppressed emotions and trauma about his brother’s death.

To me, the most glaring display of inappropriate affect comes in 2x10. Carmy is trapped in the walk-in during the opening night of his restaurant. He has no idea how the night has gone. For all he knows, his beloved Sydney and Richie are at each other’s throats, his mom is terrorising his pregnant sister, his evil former boss from New York has sent food back to Sydney and could be verbally abusing her, he’s not there to protect her, the restaurant is tanking and all hope is lost. Carmy sits down and looks up. He sees the messily ripped tape, radicchio is spelled wrong, and all at once it becomes clear to him that he has let everyone down by not being there to help his staff and lead his team. This scene is what is called a “private moment” in acting. He’s supposed to be alone, no one is around. It’s extremely private. No one can get in and he can’t get out. You would think he would use this moment of solitude to break down and cry, but again, he never does, and I found it very odd. Instead, he smiles and almost bursts into laughter. Why does he do this? I believe seeing the tape being messy and ripped, and not neatly cut with scissors like he has tried to train staff to do, is why. We know this is his pet peeve. It’s almost like it’s so awful all he can do is laugh, but in this moment it feels very, very off—because it is. It’s another example of his manifestation of not having the right affect. Even listening to Claire’s voicemail, on top of having that viscious fight with Richie should have broken him down, but it didn’t. He put his head in his hands. He still has not cried. This is particularly odd because in 1x2, Carmy tells his sister “I-I know tons of people that cry out of nowhere”, but we never see him have this response, ever. Honestly, the first time I saw the scene below, during the slow push in on his face I thought, he’s about to break character. That’s honestly what it looks like to me—a bad take that should have been reshot because the actor was not in the moment. And yet—-Jeremy Allen White is an incredibly skilled and focused actor, (as I wrote about HERE), which leads me to believe this choice must have been intentional to convey inappropriate affect caused by trauma.

Carmy needs professional help and therapy and he needs it badly. He has got to do something to help himself have a desperately needed breakthrough and come to terms with his past trauma and demons for the sake of his mental health. Al-Anon is a good step but it’s not enough. It’s a monologue, he needs one on one help and a dialogue. In Al-Anon, he only speaks to what he wants to share. In therapy, he would be asked questions and given exercises that would help him unravel his tangled mind. His panic attacks, nightmares and outbursts are a threat to his health. He must change his environment and get help. No one else can do it for him, and just like many of his inappropriate affect reactions to some of his more desperate moments, it truly is no laughing matter.

©️moments-on-film 2023

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #the bear season 1 #the bear season 2 #mental health #my thoughts

[agentmilayawithshield]

Claire and Sydney parallels... Claire and Carmy parallels...

How about Claire and Pete? The parallels between these two. How one is celebrated but the other is looked down upon.

Both are normal people with regular jobs, but one is seen through a romantic filter while the other is bland, annoying, overeager, and not up to par to keep up with them.

And it's all connected to sexism (Yes, I'm going there).

Someone like Natalie having a normal, boring partner is seen as the ultimate miss, and her loving, stable husband is reduced to a loser who's too eager to bond with his in-laws.

But Claire is the cute, "sweet girl next door" normal. She's the one true love that swoops in and saves a doomed individual. Beautiful ER doctor whose job is a million times more stressful than running a restaurant, but who even cares? Richie wants her with Carmy because he sees them as a fix-it for his own failed marriage. But it doesn't work like that. Even if she was his true love, it's not her job to fix anyone. She can't help Carmy in the ways that therapy and Al-anon could. But guess what, the hit of dopamine you get from liking someone works faster than therapy, so he is never seen attending after they get together. Richie famously doesn't get better until he does the work himself, without his ex, years after they divorce.

To bring it back to Pete. He and Natalie work together. He is affectionate, kind, loving, supportive, and understanding of her crazy family. He exposed her to an environment where healthy communication is encouraged. Everything Claire is set up to be. But since he's a man in a nurturing role, and since he's Natalie's significant other, he is the butt of the joke. While no one is rallying for Natalie to dump him, and they respect her choice to be with him, no one is thrilled Natalie married someone who doesn't fit into their environment. Never mind that he wasn't freaked out by Donna crashing her car into their house, that he chose to attend family functions even without her to show he cares, or that he was 100% on board when Natalie joined the Bear. Because what's there to "fix" about Natalie? She's not the addict or the sad, panic attack prone youngest. Natalie is the glass middle child who stayed to see her older brother fall apart, who was heavily abused by her crazy mom. But she turned out "fine" so everything is fair game.

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #natalie berzatto #carmy berzatto

[tigertan]

neighborly favors and chicago cigarettes. [ jellybeans. ]

part two of said slow burn fic ^_^ this is mainly a snippet but there is some silly smut incoming in the full chapter oooops ..

part one [ mac n cheese ]

ao3 link

[ word count ; 1k ]

;; all fluff. awkward meeting again. carmen takes a strange interest in your nails.

your new acrylic nails gleamed in the cold sun of chicago’s morning as they curled around your steering wheel. a pretty candy pink, nothing fancy. they were short and blunt to maximize efficiency, and you’d always liked doing your nails. 

with your new job starting tomorrow, you arranged a nail appointment early this sunday morning just to get it out of the way. 

you rounded the corner of the apartment building's back parking lot and hopped out of your car into the complex. 

despite your freshly scrubbed face and still damp hair from the morning shower, yesterday night’s chicago smoke lingered both on your skin and your memories. the mild hangover you’d gotten was bravely fought off with a fistful of tylenol and gallons of water.  

after finally finding something in common with carmy, sydney rushed out and began apologizing for richie’s behavior, to which you’d reassured her it wasn’t a big deal. you’d just avoid him your entire life after that. because while you weren’t in the wrong, it was an embarrassingly public outburst that burned itself into those moments your brain would never let you forget. 

sydney decided to take you home at that moment, and you didn’t complain. 

you nodded a bye to carmy with a smile still stuck with a cigarette and he’d nodded back, unsmiling.

it was only after you’d wrapped the covers around you did you realize you never asked him if his name was really carmy. 

oh well, you guys were neighbors. you were bound to see him anyway. 

you hummed a song to yourself— specifically frank sinatra’s classic hit, rain in my heart— as you climbed up the stairs and turned the staircase straight into a brick wall. 

but that couldn’t be right, because why did it stumble back at the impact at the same time you did? 

the answer was easy; it wasn’t a wall. it was the tightly fitted cotton-shirted chest/face of your neighbor carmy. his awful brown jacket was thrown across his right bicep, and you could see his tattoos much more clearly. the numbers on his fingers weren't numbers, they were three letters of ‘SOU’ on his index, middle, and ring respectively. 

there was also an inked flower on the back of the same hand, and further up his arm was a measuring cup carrying a globe. you noticed he had more but stepped back too quickly to discern others. 

your nose stings lightly at the impact, and you raise a hand to hold it, eyes widening. a tiny part of you wonders if he is going to yell at you. 

“shit,” you say, blinking. 

“sorry, i didn’t see you,” 

“are you okay— sorry,” 

you both spoke at the same time, which pushed a smile out your lips, and you giggled. so he wasn’t going to yell at you.

“sorry,” you whisper, a grin peeking out from either side of the hand in front of your face. he blinks, the chicago morning sky making his already ice-blue eyes seem ever clearer. 

“you uh— your nails,” he blurted, a muscle in his temple shifting as the words nearly burst from his lips. 

it takes you a second to realize what he’s talking about, but you lower your hand and splay it out, the uv coat catching the light perfectly. 

“oh! yes. nails. got 'em done a few minutes ago.” you explain, giving him another quick smile. “they uh, they’re nice. like jellybeans.” but the compliment, if you could even call it that, was stamped out with deliberate volume and a strained edge of a rather inept tone that creased your brow despite your smile. 

“... thank you,” you reply, absentmindedly running your thumb over the groove of the keys in your pocket. 

he watches your hand fall back beside you and then swallows. 

“do you like—“

“is your—“ 

your voices overlapped once more, and this time he smiled too, curving into his left cheek and carmy released a singular, airy laugh. 

“sorry. uh. you go ahead,” he gestured to you, flicking his eye contact from you to the floor. “yeah, sorry.” you grinned with genuine humor now, “is your, is your real name carmy? sorry, i just heard syd say that last night and i just…” you trailed off, the question sounding dumb and cold on your tongue now that you said it aloud. he blinked again. “uh. no— no. it’s a nickname. for– for carmen. carmen berzatto.” 

he extends his hand out as if you had guys met for the first time. finding it endearing, you take it, a gel-nailed hand clasping the weathered, inked one. 

“were you heading to work?” you ask, and after a momentary silence, he nods, then scrunches his brows and quickly shakes it, the oat-colored curls on his head bouncing. 

“hm? no, just… heading out. kitchen doesn’t open until four today,” he replies, carding a hand through his hair. 

you mouth a silent oh and nod back. 

“well uh, it was good to see you neighbor,” you grin and step the side lightly, breaking the awkward yet giddy conversation that had transpired. 

“yeah. yeah, you too.” carmen gave you a half-smile back, nodding a final time as he passed by you, his hair bouncing as he walked down the stairs, not looking back. 

you did, however, watch until his curls disappeared behind the coffee wood and industrial metal of the stairs. 

you realized you didn’t ask him what he wanted to ask until you’d slotted your key into the lock with a smile. 

—

carmen slammed his car door behind him as he sat, cushioned in the faux leather seat, hands firm on the steering wheel. he stared directly in front of him, boring holes into the dusty red brick of the building wall, sky tinted a slight grey from the windows. 

“jellybeans? really carmen?” he sighs-slash-scoffs, running a hand over his face before fumbling his keys out of the jacket pocket. brows scrunching, the man hesitates before putting the keys into the ignition. despite the faint alarm bells going off in his mind— they seemed to always be there anyway— he twists in the front seat to look behind him at the building entrance as if she’d walk out of the large, heavy-duty door at that moment. 

for a moment or two, he stares. but the reality of it catches up to him in flushed, heated cheeks and brows creasing further. “fuckin’ stupid.” he mutters, finally shoving the keys into the car as the engine purred to life. it was odd how the light from yesterday’s cigarette had bent around her mouth despite the unforgiving fluorescence of the alleyway, and made carmen stare. 

but that’s all. she was only enough to stare at, he concluded with a steely grip on the wheel. with the bear at its peak, how could he do anything but stare? 

he pulls into the back of the bear’s parking lot with the recipe for a spaghetti alla carbonara stuck in his head and a smile stuck in the corner of his mouth. 

—

for more / updates check out the ao3 !

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