#first time i watched this i was in elementary school at dinner at my moms friends house

[https-yeonjun]

the seven stages of you and i (c.sb)

summary. when you first met soobin, you knew he was going to play a lead role in your life. you were going to make sure of it. you just didn't know what to expect.

or: the story of a boy, a girl, and the turbulence that fills the space between them.

wc. 14,444 words

genre. angst

tags. soobin x fem!reader, childhood friends to lovers to ???, best friends to lovers, minors DNI, negligible amount of smut (implied virgin!soobin x virgin!reader, first time, protected sex) featuring beomgyu, taehyun, and kai from txt, yuna from itzy, and arin from oh my girl

a/n. repost; this was also finally edited!!! classic quintessential fay angst!! we're so back!!! i’ve been writing this story for two months. it’s the longest thing i’ve written and i’m super proud of it. please let me know if i missed any warnings or made any typos. i really hope you all enjoy it.

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you can vividly remember the first time you ever saw soobin.

it was the summer before third grade started.

it had been an unbearably hot summer and with the school year looming just a month away, you were dreading going back to school and trying so hard to not think about having to meet your new teacher and make new friends.

so to take you mind off the soul crushing pressures of elementary school, you begged your mom to let you go to the park. she refused, claiming she had to work, but the two of you made a compromise and you settled for riding your bike around the cul-de-sac where she could still see you from the dining room table.

you had been riding for thirty minutes, quickly growing tired of the rays of the sun beating down on your skin. you were about to call it a day, but that’s when you saw it.

the gray honda civic driving past you, the sun reflecting on the hood of the car. the woman in the front seat, slowly waking up from her slumber. her husband tapping her shoulder excitedly, looking at his new home in awe.

and him.

the young boy staring out the window with wide eyes as the car pulled into the driveway of the house beside yours.

you darted inside to tell your mom you had new neighbors.

at dinner time, she took you over with some food. “hello, we live right next door.” she introduced herself to the woman that opened the door. “i just thought you guys could use a warm meal with moving and everything.” behind her legs, you could see the little boy peeking at you.

she invited you in and you remember the way their house looked so devoid of life. what was supposed to be the living room was a sea of boxes. your mother sat beside his mother on the old brown leather couch that sat in the back of the room.

you caught soobin’s gaze, watching you taking in the sight of his new home. he looked away when he noticed you looking at him. you moved to sit beside him on the floor.

“i saw you,” he said when he registered your presence beside him.

“what?” you were slightly taken aback.

“outside.” he clarified. “you were on your bike.”

“oh,” you muttered. “my name is y/n.” you reached out to shake his hand. he looked at you, a bit puzzled, yet mirrored the gesture, his grip gentle and feeble.

“i’m soobin.”

“how old are you?”

“i’m almost 10.” he answered, glancing down at his hands.

“why did you move here?”

“my dad got a job.”

“do you want to ride bikes tomorrow?”

“i don’t know how.” soobin looked at you, uncertainty flickering in his eyes, his shy demeanor even more pronounced.

“i can teach you.” you offered.

and the next morning, at 11 sharp, soobin showed up in front of your house ready to learn. after that afternoon, you decided that you liked him and he was going to be your best friend. he didn’t talk much but he always listened to you, with a goofy smile plastered on his face. when he did talk, he answered all your questions thoughtfully. and most importantly, even after he fell down multiple times, he still showed up at your house the next day, waiting to learn.

by the time you got to middle school, everyone knew that you were two peas in a pod. from the day you met, everywhere you went, soobin wasn’t far behind, following you like a lost puppy. you always carpooled together; you always ate lunch together; you were even in all the same clubs.

and so when eighth grade began, you two were separated for the first time in five years and it was so hard for you to adjust to not seeing him every second of every day.

the first morning of the school year, you stopped yourself from asking your mom where soobin was when he wasn’t at your car waiting for you. you wandered through the halls to your regular lunch table a little surprised and mostly disappointed when you didn’t see him sitting with an extra cookie he always got from the lunch lady. after school, you sat awkwardly, alone, on the bench outside of the school building waiting for your mom to pick you up.

when you got home, you didn’t even bother going up to your room. you threw your backpack on the couch and made a beeline for his house. you flopped onto his bed with a sigh as soon as you got to his room, the softness of the mattress cradling you. he didn’t look up from where he sat at his desk doing his homework, but he acknowledged your arrival with a quiet hello. 

“how was your first day of high school?” you asked, emphasizing the last part of your question.

“it was okay.” he scribbled something in his book.

“just okay?” you pressed.

“it was kind of weird.” he turned his chair around and finally looked up at you.

“did you miss me?”

“yeah, a little,” he confessed. a soft warmth bloomed in your chest, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

“i think i might try out for the football team,” he blurted out of nowhere. “or maybe basketball? i don’t know yet.” you bursted out in laughter.

“did i say something funny?”

“you have no athletic bone in your body.” you countered, still chuckling.

“we don’t know that.”

“oh, we do,”

he moved to join you on the bed, books in hand, and you watched him with a fondness that didn’t need words as he made himself comfortable.

“i always tell you not to wear your outside clothes on my bed.” he jokingly admonished.

“do you like your school?”

“i mean, it’s only my first day. but it was okay.”

you paused, both to process what he just said and to figure out how to word what you really wanted to say. “i don’t want you to forget about me or stop hanging out with me or whatever.”

“you’re literally going to the same school next year.” he teased you.

“i know, but still.”

“you’re a hard person to forget about, y/n.”

“you’re just saying that,” you felt the blood rush up to your cheeks, and subsequently rushed to hide your face in his sheets.

“no, i mean, you literally wouldn’t let me forget about you.” he laughed and in response, you threw a pillow at him.

but in the back of your mind, you knew he was right – you couldn’t let him forget about you. and as the days rolled on, you made it a point to go over to his house for hours after school. at least for the first month and a half of the smeester. that was until the demands of school grew and he started having to stay after school for clubs and going over to people’s houses for projects. by the time the holidays rolled around, your moments together were reduced to the seconds you saw him in the mornings when you were both leaving for school. and for the most part, it stayed like that going into the summer.

the summer after eighth grade, you saw soobin a total of three times.

the first time you saw him was on memorial day. your dad, not exactly the biggest fan of your plan to stay home the entire summer, pushed you out of the house to go to his family’s barbecue. you went to soobin’s house with a tray of cookies (because you never go to someone’s house empty handed, your mom told you beforehand). he greeted you with a casual wave before disappearing upstairs to play video games with his friends. you lingered around his house for ten minutes, until you felt completely uncomfortable by yourself, when you slipped away back to your room, cocooning yourself in your bed, tears tracing paths down your cheeks, soaking into your sheets beneath you.

the second time was sometime right after the fourth of july. his dad was taking him on a fishing trip and you just so happened to be getting the mail as they were leaving. you tried to pretend not to see him, eyes fixed on the ground, your heart pounding. and you thought it worked. but later that day, a message lit up your phone screen – soobin confessing that he missed you. you deliberated for two hours before typing out a guarded response: “me too.” two weeks stretched out like an eternity before his next message came.

the third time was actually the day before your first day of high school when he came over to your house under orders from his mother. he stood at your bedroom door, a mixture of apprehension and determination etched across his face.

when you opened the door, all the feelings of abandonment came flooding through your mind – every time you cried thinking about how he was ignoring you, every time your parents had to force you to get out of the house and breathe in fresh air, everything came at once.

“what are you doing here?” you spat at him. your words were a shield, sharp and defensive.

“my mom said i should come check on you.” he responded, his hand absently massaging the back of his neck. you yielded, allowing him to enter the room, but he hesitated, lingering by the door, too afraid to sit down.

“are you nervous about high school?” he ventured.

you met his gaze, scanning his eyes for sincerity. “not really.”

“i’m sorry,” he admitted, his voice heavy with regret. “i’ve been pretty shitty to you this year.”

“yeah, you have been pretty shitty.”

“i meant it when i said i missed you.”

“i know.”

“are we good?”

he didn’t really apologize, you understood that. but sometimes, especially in that moment, it seems easier to forgive him than confront him about how horrible he made you feel. and so you concede, not realizing that you’re setting the precedent for you guys to saunter in and out of each other's lives as you please. “yeah, we are.”

you invite him to sit on the bed with you and he joins you.

“so, what is high school really like?” you ask, trying to clear the air of tension that lingered.

“well, it’s nothing like high school musical,” he began.

and although you were apprehensive about forgiving him so quickly, you couldn’t deny how good this felt. sitting here with him, not thinking about the future or the past. just being here talking about nothing and everything at the same time. if you could, you would have captured this moment and put it in a snow globe to look at everyday.

the next morning, you stood at the threshold of the school building, soobin towering beside you. as you walked into the school together, you couldn’t help but notice the subtle shift in the atmosphere. soobin seemed to be a lot more popular than he led on and he navigated the halls with a confidence that belied his usually reserved nature. students and teachers alike greeted him as you walked through the halls.

“okay, mr. superstar,” you teased.

“well, i am class president.” he tells you shyly.

“why didn’t i know this?” you wondered aloud. he offered you a nonchalant shrug but continued guiding you through the labyrinth of corridors that made up the school. 

as you approached your classroom, the reality of where you were dawned on you. you turned to soobin, seeking reassurance from him. “i’ll see you at lunch?”

“yeah,” he affirmed.

with a final smile, you slipped into the classroom, taking a seat beside a girl who was looking at you with wide eyes.

“you know soobin?” she blurted out when you sat down.

your brows furrowed in confusion. “yeah?” you answered, taken aback.

“how?”

“uh, he’s my friend.” you explained, scanning the room for an empty seat.

a spark of hope lit up her eyes. “can you introduce me to him?”

you hesitated, your discomfort growing with each passing second. “i don’t even know you.”

a wave of awkwardness washed over the both of you. without waiting for a response, you quickly gathered your things, seeking refuge in a different seat on the other side of the classroom. what the hell was that? you thought to yourself as the other students filed into the class.

save for that strange moment in the first period, the rest of your classes went by completely unremarkable until lunch time rolled around. you arrived at the cafeteria fifteen minutes after lunch started. you were trying to navigate the way between hundreds of bodies in the hallway and found yourself in a completely different wing of the school. why does a high school have to be this big? you asked yourself when you collided with a girl.

“are you okay?” you asked her.

“yeah, i’m just trying to find the cafeteria.” her response came with a note of relief.

“me too. i’m y/n.”

“i’m yuna and this school is way too big.” she remarked, a trace of exasperation lacing her words.

“yeah, i got a tour this morning and i’m still confused.”

should we ask someone for help?” yuna suggested.

“yeah,” together you venture into a nearby classroom to ask a teacher for help.

meanwhile, in the cafeteria, soobin took advantage of your little detour to offer a preemptive warning to his friends about how to act around the freshman girl that was going to be eating lunch with them.

“i’m serious, you guys, don’t be weird.”

“when have we ever been weird?” beomgyu asked, but his playful tone is punctuated by a stray fry launched by kai, which found its target on taehyun’s head.

soobin gave beomgyu a knowing look.

“we won’t be weird, okay?” his friend reassured him. “what’s with the girl anyways?”

“she’s my best friend and i don’t want you guys to scare her.”

you finally make it to the cafeteria with yuna by your side. soobin introduced you to his friends, and you briefly remember them from memorial day. as the lunch period dragged on, you sat quietly, observing soobin in his element. you never felt this way before, but watching the way he interacted with his friends made him a little more attractive in your eyes. there was a magnetism in his confidence and you couldn’t help but entertain thoughts that had never crossed your mind before.

and from them, you found yourself yearning for those stolen glances, fingers brushing in passing and shared laughter that lingered just a little longer than usual.

being best friends with someone older than you had its perks, especially when that person was as smart as soobin. you were pretty good at biology freshman year, and chemistry was okay too. but no one warned you that knowing the powerhouse of the cell or all the symbols of the periodic table was enough to equip you for an honors physics class.

even though you stayed up for three nights in a row, you didn’t expect to do so bad on the unit test. it was embarrassingly bad. like bringing the class average down bad. like being handed back a folded test bad. you opened your test packet hesitantly, only to quickly close it again upon seeing the harsh, red “36/100” glaring back at you. the room seemed to close in around you, the disappointment heavy in the air.

after class, you went to meet your teacher. “are you sure there’s no way i could get some extra credit or something?” you asked, your voice carrying a mix of desperation and determination.

“y/n,” he said, his tone firm. “if i give you extra credit, i have to give everyone extra credit,” he advised. “if you want a better grade, i suggest you study harder.”

“fucking asshole,” you mutter under your breath as you left the classroom. the slam of the door echoed down the empty hallway.

yuna, who was waiting for you outside your class, scowled when she saw your demeanor. “what’s wrong?”

“he’s such an asshole.”

“what did he do this time?”

you handed her your test and slung your backpack onto your shoulder in frustration. her face scrunched up when she saw the red ink that scattered the page. she reached out to gently caress your hair in a soothing gesture. “oh, honey…”

“and he wouldn’t let me do extra credit.”

“didn’t your boyfriend take this class last year?” yuna asked, trying to find a solution.

“boyfriend?” you replied. you knew where she was going with this, but you wanted to see if she would actually say it. but you knew she was never one to back down. “soobin?” she asks.

“not my boyfriend.” you remind her in a singsong voice, causing her to roll her eyes.

“well, i’m pretty sure he took this class last year. just ask him to tutor you.”

you hum, pulling out your phone to text him.

to soob: i hate to ask you this but i really need your help

from soob: you know i’m always gonna help you what do you need

to soob: one quiz away from failing physics can my bestest friend in the whole entire world help me

from soob: you know you don’t need to butter me up but i’ll take it

to soob: you know i love you so much right? can you come over tonight?

that evening, you meticulously laid out your physics notes and textbook on the kitchen island. you were stressing a lot, and in an attempt to calm your racing thoughts, you decided to bake. the sounds of the mixer and the clinking of the measuring cups was always something that soothed your anxious thoughts.

as the timer chimed, you pulled the tray of cookies out from the oven. just as you set them on the cooling rack, the doorbell rang, sending a jolt of nervous anticipation back through you.

you open the door to soobin.

“thank you again for doing this,” you said as you welcomed him inside. you guided him to the island. “i made cookies, so please feel free to take some.”

his eyes brightened with surprise. “you made cookies? i didn’t know you could bake.”

“i started in middle school,” you confessed, a hint of vulnerability crept into your voice. “my therapist said it was a good way to process my emotions. i don’t know.”

“you’re in therapy?”

“yeah, since middle school.”

“oh.”

the atmosphere in the kitchen shifted. you both settle into your seats. the tutoring session began, but despite your best efforts, you found it hard to focus. the equations and diagrams that soobin so easily drew out seemed to blur together and your mind drifted elsewhere. the only thing you could concentrate on was soobin’s long, veiny hands as they gracefully navigated the pages of the physics textbook in front of you.

“should we take a break?” his voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

you blinked, realizing that you had been staring at the same problem for a little too long. “i’m sorry. long day.”

“no, don’t apologize,” soobin reassured you. “it’s getting late anyways. we can always try again tomorrow.”

the next few tutoring sessions followed a similar pattern, but today you managed to gather yourself and focus, determined not to get lost in the small smile that graced soobin’s face whenever you correctly answered a question.

“you know what you’re doing?”

“what?”

“you know what you’re doing. just don’t overthink it.” he was referring to the problem set in front of you.

“oh, yeah,” you replied, your hand moving swiftly across the paper. in your mind, even if you got the question wrong, he would patiently explain it to you. this way, you wouldn’t be trapped in your head, thinking about how close he was to you, close enough to pick up hints of his shampoo, or how pretty his eyes looked with the kitchen lights dancing in them, or how soft his hands felt as they brushed against yours when he took the paper from you.

to your surprise, you managed to avoid any embarrassment for the rest of the session.

“when’s your next test?”

“in two weeks, i think,”

“we can meet a couple of nights a week until then,” he suggested.

as time passed, you found it easier to concentrate, the initial nervousness giving away to a growing confidence. you had to admit. soobin was a good tutor and with each passing day, you felt the weight of the test lessen, until the day of the test.

from soob: test day! how are you feeling?

to soob: i think i’m going to throw up

from soob: please don’t you’re going to do great you know i’m always rooting for you!!

you walked into the classroom with your chin held high, determined to “fake it till you make it” your way into a passing grade, but you spent the rest of the week after that a bundle of restlessness and anticipation.

finally, the day you dreaded the most arrived. the door swung open, and your teacher strode in, a stack of papers clutched in his hand. you held your breath, fingers crossed under the desk as he made his way down the rows, inching closer and closer.

“good job,” he smiled at you when he handed you your test.

after class, you practically sprinted to soobin’s locker, eager to share the news.

“check me out! i’m a nerd like you,” you exclaimed, thrusting the test paper towards him.

“har har,” he let out an amused snort, rolling his eyes. “i knew you could do it. maybe next time we can shoot for a 100?”

“i think we should focus on maintaining this 80%,” you chuckled. “i think this calls for a celebration. can you come over tonight?”

that evening, you and soobin set out to tackle the challenge of baking brownies. he was good at a lot of things but admittedly was very useless in the kitchen.

“it’s fine.” you reassured him, “i can teach you.”

“you’re always teaching me things,” he noted, his ears burning as he looked down at the mixing bowl.

“what are you talking about? i’m literally now passing physics because of you.

“not school things,” he explains. “i mean like practical life things. you taught me how to ride a bike; you taught me how to make friends––”

“i taught you how to make friends?”

“yes, you did. being friends with you just made me outgoing, i guess.”

“hmm.”

“anyways, you’re teaching me how to bake, although i think this might be a lost cause,” he quipped, eyeing the ingredients skeptically.

“just crack those eggs,” you instructed.

while you dealt with other things, soobin stood expertly mixing the batter. “can i taste it?” you asked, holding up a spoon.

“wait, this is so good,” you marveled at your own recipe.

soobin’s gaze met yours, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. he edged closer to you. “you have something…” he said softly, swiping your chin with his thumb, then tasting the chocolate batter from his finger.

“oh, uh, th-thanks,” you stammered, turning toward the sink to hide the elated grin that threatened to give you away. inside, you were almost bursting at the seams.

“so, cookies are for nerves, brownies are for celebration?” soobin asked, as you two settled onto the plush couch.

“and cakes are for when i’m sad,” you quipped, fingers deftly flicking the remote to life. “what do you want to watch?”

“i don’t care. whatever you want.”

wrapped in the cocoon of the soft blanket, you both sank into the cushions, the movie’s glow flickering across your faces.

as the credits rolled on the screen, you and soobin sat up, still close, but the proximity was charged with an unspoken confession.

“did you like the movie?” you asked, attempting to dispel the atmosphere.

“we’ve seen it like a million times,”

“yeah, but still.” you press and he just shrugs.

after a pregnant pause, he finally broke the stillness. “i feel like i need to tell you something.”

your heart quickened, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within. “yeah?”

“i, uh,” his voice wavered for a moment. “i like you,” he admitted, his words stumbling out in a rush, eyes fixed on a point somewhere in the middle distance.

“what?”

“i like you,” he repeated, softer and steadier this time. soobin’s heart raced, his pulse thrumming in his ears as he awaited your response. you, on the other hand, were filled with surprise and something else, you couldn’t even decipher. your breath caught. it was like the air had grown heavier, charged with unspoken desires and uncharted territory.

“oh.” you managed to let out. “that’s… oh.”

his gaze flickered back to his hands, usually so steady, that laid, slightly trembling in his lap. “it’s fine if you don’t feel the same. i’ve just been dealing with these feelings for a while and i just needed to tell you.”

“soobin, it’s—”

“you don’t have to say anything; i get it.” he interjected, “just forget about this. i value our friendship a lot more, so i don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

“soobin!” you exclaimed your voice firm and determined. “i like you too, but we… we can’t do this.”

“why not?”

“well, for starters, you’re graduating in the spring.”

“and i’m probably going to school, like what? two hours away?”

“i don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on your college experience by being with me or whatever.”

“y/n, you’re literally my best friend.”

“precisely why we shouldn’t risk it,” you insisted. “i cherish our friendship, and i don't want to jeopardize it.”

“i promise you there’s absolutely nothing that could ever make us not be friends.”

“i don’t… i don’t know.”

“sleep on it, okay?” he conceded, rising from the couch. “i should probably go home.”

you escorted him to the door, the gravity of the moment still lingering. “see you tomorrow?” he asked, framed in the doorway. the threshold seemed both a physical and emotional boundary, like a bridge between the familiar present and the uncertain future of your relationship.

“yeah.”

he leaned forward, a gentle breath of warmth preceding the tender press of his lips against your cheek. “goodnight, y/n,” he murmured before fading into the night. 

your fingers lightly brushed your cheek, still tingling from where his lips had been. the sensation was still tingling, like a spark of electricity had been left behind. climbing the stairs you couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. you felt like you were floating as you made your way to your room, crashing on your bed, kicking your feet thinking about the fact that he likes you.

the next day, you decided to skip lunch in the cafeteria. “please can you tell me why we’re eating lunch in the library today?” yuna asks, tossing her backpack onto a beanbag in the corner of the library where you settled.

“something happened last night.”

“did you and soobin finally kiss?” she asked, a sly grin creeping onto her face. you look up at her, trying to suppress your smile.

“well, not really.”

“not really? what happened?”

“he told me he liked me.”

yuna let out an excited squeal, earning disapproving glances from the other students.

“and he kissed my cheek.”

“shut up!” she was practically bouncing in her seat, unable to maintain her excitement.

“yeah, you should shut up.” some guy at a nearby table griped, annoyed by the disruption.

she rolled her eyes, returning her attention to you. “anyways, i’m so happy for you.”

“don’t get your hopes up.”

“oh, no.”

“yuna, he’s graduating soon.”

“okay? i don’t see what the problem is. you’ve had a crush on him forever and he was the one who said it first.”

“i just don’t want to do a long distance thing.”

“he lives right beside you.”

“and he’s moving away in seven months.”

“he’s moving to a different town, not a different country.”

“hey, you guys are making a lot of noise,” the library assistant reprimanded, approaching your table. “and you know you’re not allowed to eat in here.” she referred to yuna’s food.

“sorry,” you apologized, your voice meek.

she walked away, leaving you both to your conversation.

“yeah, ‘cause my carrots are going to crumb all over the books,” yuna quipped, but she complied, tucking away her lunch.

“i just don’t want to lose my best friend.”

with a multitude of thoughts swirling around your head, you knew you needed to talk to soobin. after school, you made your way to his house. as you walked to his bedroom, each step was weighed down by the uncertainty and anticipation that filled your heart.

the soft knock on soobin’s door pulled him from his thoughts. he swung the door open to find you standing there.

“hey,” you greeted, your voice above a whisper.

“hey,” he stepped back, allowing you in. his heart raced, a mix of hope and fear coursing through him.

you walked into his room taking in the decor. it hadn’t changed much from middle school. his walls were adorned with a mix of posters. a bookshelf stood against one of the walls, filled with a well-organized collection of novels, textbooks, and mementos. his desk, which sat by the window, was decorated with photos of the two of you from elementary school that you surprisingly hadn’t seen before. looking at them gave you the motivation to have the say everything that you wanted to say.

he gestured to his bed. you settled into your usual spots, the silence stretching, punctuated only by the soft sounds of the clock. soobin couldn’t help but steal glances at you, the room charged with tension.

“so, we should talk about last night.” you took a deep breath. he turned to face you, his gaze steady, waiting for your words. “i’ve been thinking a lot,” you continued. “and i do want to give this, us, a try.”

a smile broke across his face and you couldn’t help but melt. “you have no idea how happy that makes me.”

you mirrored his smile, a sense of contentment settling in your chest. “but,” you added, your expression turning more serious, “you are graduating soon, so we need to be realistic.”

he nodded. “we can face it together, one step at a time.”

you reach out, your fingers finding his. “okay,”

“can i kiss you now?”

“yes,” you giggled.

he cupped your face, slowly closing the space between you. meanwhile, your hands snaked their way to the back of his neck, pulling him down so his soft lips met yours. the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the sensation of his lips against yours.

the first touch was as light as a feather, but as a surge of emotion overcame the initial hesitation, the kiss deepened. time seemed to stand still and the moment stretched into infinity until you heard a cough coming from the door.

you quickly pull away from the kiss, your heart racing. soobin’s eyes held affection, his fingers still lightly grazing your cheek. you looked to the door to see his mom with her hands on her hips, a playful smirk on her face. “i was just checking to see if you were going to stay for dinner, y/n.” she said, her voice carrying a hint of amusement.

looking down at your hands, that sat in soobin’s hands, you responded quietly. “yeah, i’ll just text my parents.”

“okay,” she left the room with a knowing smile

“that was so,” you squealed in embarrassment, burying your face in soobin’s shoulder. his warmth enveloped you like a comforting embrace as his fingers gently traced patterns on your back.

“at least she likes you,” he joked, making you groan. “we should go downstairs,” he suggests, pulling away reluctantly.

as you proceed to stand up, he playfully tugged you back down, his eyes never leaving yours. “wait.” his voice held a soft urgency, his gaze locked onto your lips. “just one more.” he leaned in, the touch of his lips against yours sending a surge of warmth through your veins. his smile melted into the kiss.

“okay, we can go now.”

you followed him downstairs and avoided his mom’s knowing glances throughout dinner.

for the next few months, you spent almost every day with soobin. the two of you were once again attached at the hip, savoring every moment leading up to his impending graduation.

and the dreaded day of the ceremony arrived. soobin, loose tie in hand, entered his parents’ room with a furrowed brow. “mom, where’s dad?”

“he had to stop by the office, but he’ll meet us there,” she responded, finishing up her makeup. as she finished she turned to her son, her eyes sparkling. “oh my god,” she cooed. “you look so handsome.” she pulled him into a hug.

“god, mom, relax.” soobin chuckled, gently extricating himself from her affectionate grip. he smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt.

“is it a crime for a mother to be proud of her son for graduating?”

“no, but i need help with the tie.” he gave it to her.

she took the tie, fingers deftly weaving it into place around her neck. “is y/n coming with us?”

“no, she’s going with her parents.”

“you know, i’m really glad you have her in your life.” there was a tenderness in her voice, her eyes fixed on her son as she put the tie around his neck, adjusting his collar.

“that’s random.”

“it’s not random. i’m just saying you’re graduating and going to college soon, and i just don’t want you to take her for granted.”

“i won’t. i promise.”

“ok,” she declared, a smile gracing her lips, indicating that she had finished. “good to go, we’re leaving in ten minutes so go finish getting ready.”

you arrive at your school’s auditorium thirty minutes before the ceremony began. you quickly settle beside soobin’s mother.

“i’m so glad you guys could make it,” she greeted warmly.

you scanned the hall, searching for your boyfriend in the sea of cap and gowns. the familiar hum of your phone in your lap brought your attention back to the present. it was a text from soobin, asking you to meet him outside the auditorium.

“is my dad there?” soobin’s voice held a note of urgency when he saw you.

“not yet, but your mom said he’s on his way. are you okay?” your hand rested comfortingly on his shoulder, trying to steady his nerves.

“i’m just nervous about the speech and the fact that he isn’t here yet.”

“well, he’s going to be here. who would miss their only child’s graduation?” you offered a reassuring smile, attempting to lighten the mood. “and the speech is going to go perfectly, okay?”

“you don’t know that.”

“yes, i do! you’ve been practicing all week. you’re going to do great.”

“what if i mess up?”

“if you mess up, just find me in the crowd, okay? i’ll be with both your parents and my parents, and we’ll all be cheering on you.”

“alright, thank you.” he took a deep, steadying breath.

you reached up, planting a tender kiss on his lips. “you’re going to do great,” you affirmed, and with that, he headed through the student entrance into the auditorium.

the ceremony flowed seamlessly. pride swelled in you as you watched soobin take the stage. his dad slid into your row just as he went on stage, and you offered him a thumbs-up, met in kind.

you returned to soobin’s house with your parents for the celebration. the living room was adorned with congratulatory banners and balloons, the most bright and colorful you’d ever seen his house.

for most of the party, you didn’t see much of him as he was passed around by friends and relatives that wanted to congratulate him. but eventually, at some point in the night he finds you and the two of you escape from the party to embrace the quiet of his room. the room was dimly lit, and mostly quiet, save for the chatter and the music softly playing from outside the door.

“god, i really needed this,” he confessed, stretching out on his bed. you nestled beside him, resting your head on his chest. he enveloped you in arms, fingers entwined with yours. “talking to people is exhausting,” he sighed.

“you were amazing today,” you reassured him.

“because i had you there with me.”

“and your dad came.”

“yeah, half an hour late. i can’t believe he went to work today.”

“at least he was there.”

“i don’t even care anymore. i’m just happy you were there and that we’re here together right now. i can’t wait for this summer.”

“i need to tell you something.”

“yeah,” he turned to you, fingers gently playing with yours.

“you know how i’m vice president of culinary club?” he hummed in acknowledgement.

“well, our faculty advisor told me about this culinary school that she thinks i should apply to for college.” you explained. “anyways she thinks i need to get a job or internship or something this summer to make my application stronger.”

“yeah,” his voice took on a more tentative tone.

“well, she connected me with one of her friends who owns a restaurant downtown and he said that i could, like, shadow him for the summer.”

“that’s great but–”

“i know. i don’t think it’s going to stop us from spending time together. we’ll still be able to do everything that we planned on doing. it’s just not going to be everyday.”

“baby, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“i just feel bad.” your voice softened.

“why?”

“we had so many plans.” you pouted

“and we’ll still be able to do them,” he assured you. “i think it might be good practice for us when i go to school in the fall.”

“yeah, you’re right.”

you leaned up to kiss him, and he kissed you back.

the two of you lingered on his bed, the world beyond the room fading into insignificance. then, a gentle rap on the door pulled you out of your trivial conversations. 

“soobin,” his dad entered the room, voice cutting through the hush. “some of your guests are leaving. go downstairs to say goodbye.”

soobin shot up from the bed. “yeah, i’ll head down now.”

“y/n can i talk to you?” his dad asked. soobin looked back at you before leaving the room.

“yeah, what’s wrong?”

“nothing’s wrong. i just wanted to talk to you about soobin.”

“what about soobin?”

“why don’t you sit down,” he suggested. you complied, perching on your boyfriend's bed. “i wanted to talk about soobin because well he’s going to college in the fall and i just want to make sure that he’s not wasting his experience or losing his focus.”

you weren’t sure how to respond. “i’m don’t know–”

“see y/n, you’re a great girl and you’ve been there for soobin for a long time, but you also distract him.”

“what?”

“i work really hard to make sure that my family can live in this neighborhood and so that my only son can go to a good school. i don’t want to see him waste his life over his high school girlfriend.”

your chest tightened, emotions surging. you wanted to speak up, to yell at him and tell him off for inserting himself into your relationship. you wanted to yell at him for even saying this to you when he couldn’t be bothered to show up for his only son’s high school graduation. you wanted to defend your love and your commitment to soobin. but as the tears welled up in your eyes, the words caught in your throat. all you could manage was a quiet, “okay.”

“i’m glad you understand. i know we both care about him and we both want the best for him.”

he exits the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your tears. the last words he spoke echoed in your mind. we both want what’s best for him.

you gathered enough composure and strength, wiping away your tears, and made your way downstairs. you attempted to slip away quietly, but soobin caught you at the door.

“you’re leaving?” the dim light from the porch illuminated his face, casting soft shadows across his features.

“yeah, it’s getting late.”

“are you okay?” he noticed the tremor in your voice.

“yeah, i’m just super tired.”

“oh, okay? what did my dad want to talk to you about?”

“oh, he just asked me to send him the videos and photos i took of you earlier.” the lie tasted bitter on your tongue, but you pushed it out regardless, hoping to shield soobin from the weight of his father’s words.

“are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, taking hold of your hands. “do you want me to walk you home?”

“no, yeah, i’m fine.” you pull him into a hug for what felt like an eternity. if he noticed anything wrong with you after that, he didn’t bring it up. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

that night, you couldn’t fall asleep. the room seemed to close in around you suffocating in its emptiness. the echoes of the conversation with soobin’s father reverberated in your mind, haunting you.

you grappled with the weight of your fears and insecurities. what if he was right? what if you were holding soobin back? distracting him? the thought had always lingered at the back of your mind since you began dating. and now that he was actually starting at college, that unspoken fear threatened to consume you.

maybe his dad was right. you needed to give him the space that he needed to grow. and it’s not like you had to break up with him. you just needed to keep him at an arm’s length and this summer was a chance for you to learn how to do that with you working. so in the weeks that followed, you found yourself pulling away and creating that distance. the space between you stretched as you took more shifts at work and spent less time with your boyfriend.

“i might move into school a week early,” soobin told you one day when you were hanging out in your room.

you felt your heart sink.

you hadn’t spent that much time together and now you had even less time together. it felt like a cruel twist of fate. still, you masked your disappointment with forced encouragement. “that’s good.” you muttered. “get to know the area better.”

“you think i should go?”

“i mean, if you want to. it seems like a good idea.”

“okay,”

as the day arrived for soobin to leave for school, you felt a void open up within you. the weight of missed moments and unspoken words crushed your soul, suffocating in their intensity. you called out of work but stayed in bed all day, cocooned in the covers, crying about the fact that you couldn’t allow yourself to savor the little time you had with soobin.

when soobin facetimed you later that evening, your heart both leapt and sank at the sight of his face. “hey, let me see your face.”

“i look horrible,” you groaned, but still revealed your face that was covered by your blankets and pillows.

soobin’s brows furrowed when he saw your face with your eyes red and your nose puffy. “have you been crying?”

“no, i’m just sick.” you tried to hide it, to mask the pain, but the cracks in your facade were all too evident.

“please, y/n, don’t lie to me.”

the raw vulnerability in his voice cracked something open within you. “i just miss you and i wish I could have helped you move in.”

“maybe i can come home on the weekend after classes start?” you wanted to revel in the possibility of seeing him again so soon, however the question lingered heavy in the air.

“do you think i’m holding you back from getting the full college experience?”

“where did that come from?”

“what if there’s like… i don’t know, a really cool frat party that weekend? would you miss out on that for me?”

“i think i’d rather see my girlfriend than go to some hypothetical frat party.”

“i’m being serious.”

“do you not want me to come home?” his question hung in the air, like a delicate thread of vulnerability. the room seemed to pulse with unspoken tension. your fingers tightened around the edges of your blanket, grasping for comfort and grounding, as you thought over your answer. every second of the silence felt like a weight on your shoulders.

you sighed. “i do, but–”

“then what’s the problem, y/n?” soobin’s voice, slightly raised, tinged with frustration, cut through the hush. “it seems like ever since the summer started you’ve been pushing me away, and i don’t know if i did something wrong.”

“you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“so what’s up?”

“i just don’t want you to feel like you’re wasting your time focusing on your high school girlfriend when you have so much life ahead of you.”

“you’re not just my high school girlfriend.” his voice softened.

“that’s not what i meant.”

“you’re also my best friend. and i don’t ever feel like i’m wasting my time by being with you.”

you contemplate telling him what his dad said, but you ultimately decide against it.

“what are you thinking?” he asked after you didn't respond for a while.

“i don’t know.” you confessed, your voice barely louder than a whisper.

“i need you to be honest with me because i don’t know what you need or how much more i can reassure you that you’re it for me.”

“maybe we should take a break?” the words slipped out before you could stop them.

“what?” soobin’s eyes widened, disbelief and hurt dancing in their depths.

“just maybe for the semester.” you rushed to explain, “so you can get your footing in school and i can focus on college apps.”

“so, you want to break up?”

“not like a real breakup. we’ll still talk and everything, just with some space.” he looked away, his jaw clenched, like he was processing the idea.

“i can’t believe you’re suggesting this.” his voice cracks as he blinks back the tears welling up in his eyes.

“maybe it’s what we need right now. we’ll still talk.” you promised, mostly trying to convince yourself.

the call ended and the weight of your decision settled on your chest, like a heavy ache that echoed the emptiness you felt inside. in your head, you were making the right choice for both of you, but that didn’t make it any easier. and as hard as you tried to maintain your relationship with soobin, over the next few months, the calls and messages became less frequent. the space between you was growing wider and each interaction held a bittersweet tinge, a mix of familiarity and the painful reminder of what once was.

the next break from school came quicker than you had expected. you sat at your desk, catching up on homework as the late morning sun streamed through the window, casting a warm glow across the room. the creak of your bedroom door announced your dad’s presence.

“how are you doing?” he asked, his voice tinged with concern.

a faint smile danced on your lips as you turned to face him. “i’m not going to kill myself dad,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood. “i’m just doing homework.”

“you’ve been in your room all break. i think i’m allowed to be worried.”

you bristled, the walls rising around you like a fortress. “well you shouldn’t be, okay? i’m fine.”

“okay so you don’t care to know that i saw soobin’s car pull up into the driveway?” he asked. you let out a soft, almost imperceptible sigh, your gaze shifted to the patch of sunlight dancing on the floor.

“are you going to see him?” he gently suggested.

“i don’t know if he wants to see me,” you admitted, your voice a hesitant whisper. the weight of uncertainty settled around you, and your dad’s brow furrowed in empathy. he approached you to comfort you. “i think i messed up,” you confessed, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.

he paused to study your face, and then he spoke, his tone filled with reassurance. “i’m sure whatever you did isn’t that bad. who could ever not want to see you?”

a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips, grateful for his attempt to ease your worries. “you’re just saying that because you’re my dad.”

he reached out, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “you know that’s not true. and you know he wants to see you because he cares for you, and he knows you care for him too.”

“and what if that’s not enough?”

his gaze softened, “then you shouldn’t base your worth on what some guys thinks of you.”

“some guy? i thought you liked soobin.”

“yeah, but i like you more.” he pulled you into a warm embrace, the strength of his love wrapping around you like a shield. as he left the room, a sense of comfort lingered in the air. you sat there, the moment stretching, the decision before you felt like a bridge to cross, but you chose to not let fear dictate your actions.

with a determined exhale, you reached for your phone.

to soob: hey, i saw you just got home. whenever you get a chance, can you come over? i think we need to talk.

later that night, in the quiet stillness of your room, you receive a knock on your door. your heart quickened. you leaped out of bed, ready to face whatever awaited for you on the other side of the door. 

“hey,” you breathed, the door swinging open to reveal soobin.

“hi,”

“please come in,” you invited him in. you held the door open, allowing him to step into your sanctuary. “how have you been?”

“good,” he replied, though there was a subtle hesitance in his tone.

“really?”

he left out a soft chuckle, a nervous habit that betrayed the calm facade he tried to maintain. “well, no, but i thought it was the appropriate thing to say.” his hand moved to rub the back of his neck. “how are you?”

“been better,” you confessed.

he settled onto the edge of your bed, and you joined him.

“so you wanted to talk?”

“i’m sorry,” the words tumbled from your lips.

“for?”

“everything?” the raw honesty of the moment threatened to engulf you. “asking for a break, not talking to you. i messed everything up.”

“you didn’t mess anything up,” he countered.

“but look at where we are,” you murmured, your gaze falling to the floor, unable to bear the weight of the truth in his eyes.

“and where is that?”

“here.” you took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. “i just want us to be good like before,” you said after a long pause.

soobin’s expression softened, “me too. i’ve missed you.”

“like crying and throwing up every night?” you teased.

“eh, something like that,” a hint of a smile played on his lips, the lamplight catching the warmth in his eyes.

“good to know,” you replied, a smile tugging at your own lips.

“i’ve said this before, but you’re really it for me.” 

“is that so?”

“yeah, even though your dad was giving me a stank as i was coming upstairs.”

“he was?”

“yeah, and i thought your parents loved me.”

“they do!”

“that doesn’t sound convincing,” he joked, a genuine laugh filling the room, echoing off the walls.

“they do, they do.” you try to convince him. “they’re just really protective.”

“well, how can i get in their good graces again?”

“maybe by kissing me.” you suggest, teasingly.

“you think kissing their daughter is going to make them not hate me?”

“yeah, i think it might be a start.” you replied, your voice soft, but sure.

“okay.” 

he cups your face, pulling you into a tender kiss. as your lips met his, a surge of warmth spread through you, grounding you in the present moment. your hands found their rightful place on the back of his neck, fingers intertwining with the soft strands of his hair. in that fleeting, stolen breath of moment, the world outside seemed to dissolve, leaving just the two of you suspended in this fragile, but powerful connection.

when you finally pulled away, the room took a breath with you. in that moment, everything felt right again. you were back to your version of normal, and it was perfect.

soobin sat cross legend on your bed waiting for you to bring up some snacks. it was the first weekend of your spring break and he decided to come down to surprise you. while waiting for you, his gaze fell upon a large envelope on your bedside table, its seal embossed with the emblem of the culinary school that you had told him about.

“okay, this is a new recipe that i’ve been working on.” you announce, walking into the room with a plate of cookies in your hand. “i want you to be honest with me. that being said, if you hate it, i’m going to cry.”

“why didn’t you tell me that you got in?” he asked as he inspected the envelope.

“because i’m not going.” you set the plate on your bed.

“why not?” concern was etched into the lines of his face.

“for starters,” your gaze drifted to the windows. “i got more money from other schools. besides, it’s on the other side of the country.”

“so?”

“so, that’s too far.”

“but you knew where it was when you applied,” he pressed. “and it’s your dream school.”

“that doesn’t matter, soobin.”

“well, why not?”

“because, you’re here.” you admitted.

“so, you’re staying for me?”

“you don’t want me to?”

“no,”

“oh,”

“y/n,” he leaned forward, reaching out to touch your hand. “i don’t want you to give up on your dreams because of me.” his thumb was tracing patterns on your hand. “why is it so easy for you to understand when it comes to me but not when it comes to you?”

“i’m not giving up on my dreams,” you argued, your eyes meeting the boy on your bed with determination. “i just want to be with you right now.”

his fingers tightened around yours, trying to grasp the gravity of your decision. “we can still be together.”

“with 2000 miles between us?” you questioned. “we could barely handle a hundred. we’re finally good again. i don’t want to go to school across the country and have that change.”

“nothing’s going to change.”

“you don’t know that.”

“you’re right, i don’t know that.” he began, “but i do know that we literally broke up six months ago, and now i’m sitting on your bed again.”

“it wasn’t a break up; it was a break,” you interjected, a small smile playing on your lips.

“okay,” he dragged out the last syllable. “but my point still stands. we’ve been through a lot and we always end up right beside each other.”

you get your laptop from your desk and log into the admissions portal. “are you going to accept it now?”

“no time like the present.”

five months later, you found yourself getting in a taxi to your dorm with your parents by your side. they insisted on driving you there, but you managed to convince them that a cross country road trip would cause more harm than good to your familial relationship.

as you settled into the backseat of the cab, the familiar scent of your mother’s perfume enveloped you. the engine hummed softly beneath you, and the rhythmic sound of tires on pavement created a comforting backdrop.

your mother’s eyes sparkled with a mixture of excitement and a touch of sadness. she reached over and gently squeezed your hand, her grip warm and reassuring. “are you excited, honey?” she asked.

your father, who sat in the front seat, spent the entire ride bombarding you with questions about pepper spray.

you managed to drown out your parents, looking out the window, watching the cityscape evolve as you approached your dorm. the towering skyscrapers seemed to reach for the sky, casting long shadows over the bustling streets. you felt a knot of nervous energy settle in your stomach.

at your dorm, your parents helped you carry your bags up to your room. the air tingled with the scent of freshly painted walls and the promise of new beginnings. your room was a blank canvas, waiting for you to imprint it with your personality.

as you unpacked, your mother offered suggestions for organizing your belongings, and your father, more practically, made a list of all the necessities you needed to get like extra blankets and a first aid kit.

yuna, whose school went back in session a few days earlier, texted you inviting you to hang out with her and her roommate. you walked your parents back to their hotel, eating takeout from a nearby chinese restaurant in their room.

as the meal came to an end, there was a bittersweet air, as you gathered your things and left their room. you met yuna in a park downtown, sitting with her roommate. you ran towards her, the anticipation and joy bubbling over. she enveloped you in a tight hug. “i’m so glad you’re finally here.”

as you walked through the park, the conversation flowed effortlessly. you felt a sense of peace settle over you. it was like the first taste of the home you were building for yourself in this new, unfamiliar place.

you arrived back at your dorm alone. your room greeted you with a sense of familiarity. your side was a collage of memories and personal touches – framed photos, trinkets from home, and the soft glow of fairy lights casting a warm, golden hue.

you sat on your bed, looking out the window, the skyscrapers now standing in line with you. the city’s pulsed thrummed faintly in the distance. gone were the nerves that accompanied you earlier. in their place, a newfound sense of determination settled within you. you knew you had to do what you needed to make this place your own. it was the beginning of a new chapter, and you were ready to embrace it with open arms.

and luckily for you, this new chapter did not come at the detriment of your relationship at first. for the first two months of the semester, you and soobin were still talking everyday and about everything – your classes, the new recipes you were working on, how one of your professors worked at one of the most famous restaurants in the world, and about your friends, how much yuna’s presence helped you settle in, how your roommate neither leaves the room nor says a word to you.

for the first time in this relationship, you could almost say that everything was fine.

but as time went on, you felt yourselves shifting into your old patterns of not talking to each other. in the back of your mind, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that soobin had lied. it seemed like everything was changing. or maybe he was right. maybe this was how it always was. there were never enough hours in the day for you guys to be together and you were coming to find that had always been a pattern throughout your relationship. it was just like eighth grade, or the summer before he left for college, or his first semester of college. the story was almost exactly the same – first it was missing texts because of conflicting class times and time zones. but then hours became days which became weeks and before you knew it, winter break was knocking on your door.

this was the first time you would see soobin in four months and the only thing that you wanted to do was melt into his arms. the familiar sights of your childhood neighborhood rushed past as your dad drove you home from the airport. every turn brought you closer to that one house on the street, the house that held so many memories, and now, the promise of reconnection.

as the car pulled into your driveway, you couldn’t contain your excitement. leaping out, you dashed inside your house, tossing your bags onto your bedroom floor with reckless abandon.

his mother greeted you at the door. “y/n, honey, you’re back!” she exclaimed, pulling you into a tight embrace.

growing up, you never spent much time outside of soobin’s bedroom in his home. his father’s relentless work schedule and his mother’s hesitancy to host guests left the rest of the house shrouded in a quiet unfamiliarity. as you walked through the hallways, you thought about how cold and gray the house looked the summer they moved in. it wasn’t much different now.

a deep breath steadied you as you approached soobin’s closed door.

some things didn’t change. the butterflies that swarmed around in your stomach were a constant companion that signaled you were exactly where you needed to be. but then you thought about how lonely you were without him this semester and you decided that maybe everything changing was for the best.

“y/n, you’re home?” his face betrayed him showing confusion. he never had the best poker face.

“yeah,” you affirmed softly, pushing open the door. there, before you, sat a girl at his desk.

or not.

“uh, this is my friend from school, arin. she couldn’t get a flight home for winter break, so she’s staying here.” soobin explained.

“oh,” you responded with a mix of emotions swirling beneath the surface.

arin extended her hand to you. “hi, it’s so nice to meet you. you must be soobin’s neighbor.”

“and his girlfriend,” you added, declaring your place in the room.

awkward tension hung in the air, a palpable shift in dynamics. as the evening unfolded, you settled into a corner of the room, watching the two converse. your gaze shifted between them, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. you marveled at the ease with which they fell into conversation, recounting stories, laughing. a truly unsettling sight. a pang of envy tugged at your heart.

as the night wore on, their voices became a distant hum to you. you felt like a silent observer, a piece of scenery, fading into the background. you did not plan on watching your boyfriend giggle at someone else’s stories for three hours. you longed for his attention, but that seemed like an impossible request.

soobin, engrossed in his conversation, was too oblivious to your discomfort. it wasn’t that he didn’t care, but rather he was just caught up.

you watched them with a mixture of longing and resignation, trying to convince yourself that this was just a temporary moment of disconnect and that soobin would turn his attention back to you soon. but with each passing minute, that hope waned.

gathering resolve, you got up. “i think i’m going to head home.” you announced.

soobin and arin turned their attention to you, momentarily pulling away from their conversation. 

“are you sure?” soobin asked you.

you nodded. “yeah, it’s been a long day. i’ll see you later, soobin. it was nice to meet you, arin.” you turned back to your boyfriend, waiting for his response.

“i’ll walk you home,” he offered.

leaving the room, you couldn’t help but steal a glance back at arin, who was now engrossed in something on her phone. the ache in your chest grew.

the two of you stood in front of your house, the chill of the evening air settling around you. the soft glow from the porch light illuminated the path that led to your front door.

“so, she’s staying the entirety of winter break?” you asked.

“yup,” soobin replied, his words punctuated by a casual pop of the ‘p’. “is there something wrong?”

you hesitated for a moment. “no,” you finally shook your head, a small, rueful smile gracing your lips. “i just wanted to spend time with you alone.”

“we can still spend time together,” he assured. “i feel like you two would get along. she’s a lot like you.”

the reassurance didn’t offer the comfort you sought. instead, it settled uneasily in your stomach. you offered a distracted response, your gaze drifting from the quiet street to your front door. 

“yeah, maybe.”

“are you okay?” soobin asked, pulling you back to the present moment.

you forced a smile, masking the swirl of conflicting emotions beneath the surface. “yeah, just tired.”

“okay, goodnight, i’ll see you tomorrow.” he said, leaning down to kiss you. the touch of his lips felt foreign, like a puzzle piece that no longer fit quite right. it was an odd sensation, leaving you with a lingering sense of disconnection. like you were slipping away from each other. you didn’t want to think too much about it, but deep down you knew that no matter how tightly you tried to hold on, it would be no use.

“goodnight,” you whispered, stepping back and slipping into the warmth of your house.

the days that followed were a dance of awkwardness and unspoken tension. you yearned for soobin’s attention, for the familiar touch of his hand, but it just seemed so out of reach.

one chilly afternoon, you all gathered at a small diner on the corner of town. the warm scent of comfort food wrapped around you as you settled into the vinyl booth opposite arin. your boyfriend trailed behind you, hesitating for a moment before sliding into the booth beside you, a subtle shift that did not go unnoticed. it was a tiny pang, but it was there.

you smiled and tried to shake off the unease, focusing on the menu in front of you. as you chatted about school and plans for the break, you couldn’t help but notice soobin’s gaze flickering between the two of you. it was as if he was trying to find balance in a delicate equation.

another time, the three of you planned to visit the ice skating rink. when you arrived at soobin’s house, you were met with the unfamiliar sight of arin in the front seat of the car. you hesitated for a moment, unsure of where to sit. the glance you exchanged with arin held a silent question, but before you could say anything, soobin assured you it wasn’t a big deal.

as the car pulled away, the hum of their conversation and the pulse of the music filled the space, leaving you feeling like a distant observer.

you invited soobin over for a movie night, so imagine your surprise when you opened your front door to see both of them. you smiled dropped as you welcomed them into your house. this was supposed to bring back a flicker of normalcy. you were supposed to nestle into your boyfriend’s side. but even as the movie played, there was a subtle shift in the air. every moment spent with arin was a reminder of the growing distance, like a river slowly widening between you and the person you held closest.

then came that one precious weekend, a rare convergence of circumstances. both of you found your parents out of town at the same time. you invited soobin over and unfortunately, arin was working on a project for school so she couldn’t join. you had to stifle a surge of joy that threatened to bubble over.

“i’m so happy that we’re finally spending time together,” you exclaimed, gently closing your bedroom door behind you. soobin sat on your bed, with your computer resting on his lap. “alone.” you emphasized, a smile playing on your lips.

with purposeful steps, you crossed the room. you carefully lifted the laptop from his lap, placing it on your bedside table. then, with a graceful movement, you straddled his lap, feeling the warmth and familiarity of his presence beneath you.

“i really missed you,” you murmured, your breath mingling with his. leaning in, you captured his lips in a tender kiss.

the room pulsed with newfound energy as the kiss deepened. soobin’s touch was gentle as his hands found their place on the small of your back, holding you close, grounding you in the moment.

as passion ignited between you, a fire that had been smoldering for far too long, you hands moved with purpose, fingers deftly working to remove the barrier that separated you from him.

but then, he pulled away, his breaths coming in measured, uneven intervals. “w-what are you doing?”

“i’m ready,” you replied, your own voice barely above a whisper. the air crackled with tension, every beat of your heart echoing in the silence that followed.

he sat up straighter, his gaze locked with yours. “are you sure?”

“yes, soobin, i’m sure,” you asserted, mustering more confidence. “i want this.”

he took a moment, his breath steadying, before he spoke. “alright,” he said softly.

he gently guided you back onto the bed. “it might be more comfortable if i’m on top,” he suggested. he removed his shirt, casually tossing it to a corner of your room. “please tell me if you want me to stop.”

you nodded in understanding.

“i’m serious, y/n. i need you to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“okay, i will.”

your heart raced as you laid there, your senses heightened. nervous energy tingled through your veins as his hands caressed your sides. his fingers traced the curves of your hips and thighs slowly. every inch of your body lit with flames as he touched you ever so lightly.

slowly, you mirrored his movements, your hands reached for the hem of your t-shirt. with a deep breath, you took off the old t-shirt to match him, laying eagerly in your pretty pink bra.

he stopped to look at you. “wow.” he breathed out. a rush of warmth flooded your cheeks, and you instinctively buried your face in  your hands. he pulled your hands down. “don’t hide your face from me, baby.” he murmured with tender eyes. “you’re just so pretty.”

you pulled him down to kiss him. “i need you,” you moaned into the kiss.

soobin’s mouth never left your body as he fumbled with his pants. he licked and sucked on your neck, taking his time with his gray sweatpants. soft moans and sighs kept slipping from your lips as he marked your skin.

“wait,” he stopped. “do you have a condom?”

“top drawer,” you breathed out.

soobin reached into the drawer by the bed, his fingers deftly finding the box nestled amidst an array of trinkets.

“open up for me.” you did as he said, and spread your legs a little wider. he could tell you were nervous as he pulled down your shorts. “do you trust me?” he asked, to which you nodded. “it might hurt for a second, but i promise you, it will only be a tiny amount of pain.” you wrapped your legs around his waist and he slowly rocked his hips against you.

you felt him position his hips so that they were perfectly in line with yours, his tip edging your entrance. he began to work his way into you inch by inch, before steadily pushing in until you were filled with his entire length. he threw his head back in pleasure as he bottomed out in you. your hands still on the back of his neck, you nudged him closer to you. “i know it hurts, baby. i’m sorry. just tell me what you need.”

the pain and discomfort was quickly replaced with pleasure. you gasped quietly, and soobin took it as a sign to finally begin moving. he fell into a rhythm of deep slow thrusts just sent you spiraling. he leaned his face down to your neck for a moment, pressing kisses along your flesh and nipping at your shoulder.

“f-fuck, you feel so good.”

he raised his face again, your noses inches apart. your face was contorted in pleasure and he couldn’t help but groan, thrusting into your harder.

“soobin?” you moaned out.

“yeah, baby? i’m right here.”

“i love you.”

he leaned back down to kiss you, his lips trailing down your jawline to your neck.

every kiss, every thrust progressively getting faster was sending you over the edge, making you pant and moan underneath him. the sounds coming from you were making his head spin and he could feel himself getting closer to his orgasm.

he was hitting you in the right spot, causing a knot to form in your lower stomach as you approached your breaking point. the knot in your stomach tightened and snapped. your walls spasmed and clenched around him as you released all over his cock. your body was shaking from the intensity, as you cried his name out. fueling his organs. his hips stuttered and he joined you in climax.

his movements ceased to slow rolls of his hips before eventually stopping.

soft pants and deep breaths invaded the space and filled the room around you. you stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath. he then carefully pulled out. he held your body close to his chest, his eyes softening as he looked down at your exhausted face. 

you nuzzled your head into soobin’s neck, kissing along his jawline. “that was so good.” you said between kisses. soobin responded with a contented hum, his fingers gently rubbing against your arm. the soft rustle of the sheets provided a soothing backdrop to the intimacy you had just shared, cocooning you in a bubble of fleeting bliss

but as the minutes passed, a subtle shift began to settle between you, like a distant tremor foreshadowing an impending quake. soobin’s touch, once tender and reassuring, began to falter. his breath, once steady and calming, now held an undertone of uncertainty.

“i should probably go back home,” soobin said, his arm slowly retreating from around your shoulder. “arin is alone.”

“seriously?” you turned to face him, a mixture of confusion and anger plastered on your face.

“what? she’s a guest.”

“you’re leaving?” you hold onto his arm, desperate to keep him close. “i thought you were going to spend the night.”

“i can’t leave her alone.”

“soobin, i just lost my virginity to you…” your voice trailed off, tears forming in your eyes. your hands dropped to your lap. the room seemed to close in around you, suffocating in its silence.

“y/n–” you could feel your blood boiling.

“don’t.” you shifted away from him on the bed. “i just lost my virginity to you and you want to spend the night with some other girl.”

“i’m not spending the night with her.”

“what’s so special about her?”

“what?”

“why have you chosen to spend every moment of this break with her instead of me?”

“we spend time together.”

“yeah, with her always there.”

the room seemed to hold its breath, the weight of your words settling into the air.

“she’s my friend and i care about her.”

“you care about her?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, every word laced with a pain that cut through the silence.

“yes i do. she couldn’t go home for winter break. I just want to make sure she doesn’t feel alone.”

“well what about me?”

“y/n, come on.”

“i told you i loved you.”

“y/n, i–” you could almost hear your heart break. he couldn’t even say it back to you.

you quickly sobered up, your walls rising like a fortress around you. “i think you should leave.”

“hey,” he reached out to hold you, but you swatted his hand away, the touch too little, too late. his fingers hung in the air for a moment before dropping, defeated.

“no. i don’t want you here anymore. you should go home.”

soobin stood up and got dressed. his movements were deliberate and slow as he gathered his scattered clothes. he dressed in silence, every gesture laden with a sense of finality. as he stood by the door, fully dressed, soobin turned to look at you. his eyes held a mixture of regret and longing, a silent plea for understanding that hung in the space between you. you met his gaze, your heart aching with a complex blend of emotions – love, betrayal, and a yearning for something that now felt impossibly distant.

the door creaked open and closed softly, the sound echoing in the hollow space left behind. 

putting on a robe, you sat by your window, watching him go into his house, praying, hoping that he would turn around, see you sitting by your window, come back to you. but he just walked into his house, the door closing with a finality that sent a shiver down your spine. your room felt emptier than ever before.

you laid in your bed and let the tears fall freely, each drop a painful release. the weight of reality settled on your chest. a heavy ache seeped into your bones.

the days that followed felt like a slow-motion train wreck. it was as if the color had drained from the world, leaving only shades of gray. every passing moment that you didn’t hear from soobin was a jagged piece of glass, cutting into your soul. each night seemed longer than the last, filled with the silent echo of his absence.

you didn’t even know what hurt more — the raw vulnerability of giving him everything, only to have him leave, or the deafening silence that followed. the unanswered questions swirled like a storm in your mind. why hadn’t he reached out? was he feeling the same heartache that clung to your every breath?

his parents even visited for dinner and you had to paint a smile on your face throughout to hide the storm that raged within. when his mom inquired about your absence, you concocted a tale, your voice steady even though your heart felt like it might shatter.

other than your parents, the only person you spoke to was yuna, who became your lifeline even though she was on vacation with her parents. she was a voice of reason and a source of much-needed laughter. “honestly, fuck him. and fuck her too,” she declared.

“she didn’t even do anything,” you murmured in arin’s defense.

“who the fuck sits in the front seat of someone else’s boyfriend’s car?” yuna fired back, making you chuckle.

"i wish you were here. it's so miserable. i can't even leave my house because i'm scared i'm going to see him," you confessed, your voice a whisper edged with pain.

"if i was there, he'd probably have to file a restraining order against me."

returning to campus was like stepping onto a battlefield, but yuna was determined to wage war against the memories that threatened to engulf you and make you forget about a certain dark haired boy whose name you were no longer allowed to say. “you know what they say: in order to get over someone, you need to get under someone else.” she proclaimed from your closet, picking out something for you to wear tonight.

“i don’t know if i’m ready to get under someone else,” you admitted, fixing your mascara in your bathroom mirror, dressed in your robe.

“doesn’t matter if you actually do. you just need to get your mind off of him.” she hands you a black dress. “wear this. it always looks good on you.”

and so, you allowed yourself to be swept up in a night of bar hopping. the pulsing music and laughter washed over you like a healing balm. for a few precious hours, you were just another college student, drowning your sorrows in neon lights and thumping bass.

between the nights out, you threw yourself completely into your studies, the pursuit of a summer internship becoming your north star. you came to school to do something, and you weren’t going to let your heartache consume you.

spring was always a happy time for you. the air was warm, carrying with it the promise of renewal. it had been months since you had thought about soobin, and even longer since you had seen him. for the first time since that unfortunate night, you felt like you were completely over him. or at least getting there.

as you strolled back to your dorm from class, the world hummed with a quiet energy. the sun hung low in the sky and the air was soft and warm against your skin. but then you saw a familiar silhouette leaning against your dorm building. time seemed to stretch in that moment, the world around you fading into a blur. your heart quickened its pace, a staccato beat echoing in your chest.

"y/n," he breathed, his voice a soft plea that hung in the air. his presence was a sudden gust of wind, stirring the carefully constructed walls around your heart.

your guard was up, a fortress of steel around your heart. you wouldn't let him waltz back into your life just to tear you apart again. "what are you doing here?" you demanded, your voice steady despite the turmoil within.

"i wanted to talk to you."

"how did you find my address?"

"your mom gave it to my mom, who gave it to me."

you let him into your building, signing him in with the security guards in the front. the familiar surroundings now felt foreign with him there. in the confines of your dorm room, he looked around, his gaze grazing over the familiar details that now seemed foreign.

“you said you wanted to talk. so talk.” you said to him sitting down. you were so grateful that your roommate had gone to class. you really didn’t need her to be in the room with you now.

he glanced around, his face marked with uncertainty. “i don’t know where to start.”

you met his gaze without a word.

“i guess… i could start with sorry.” he offered with a nervous chuckle.

“i think that’s too little, too late, soobin.” you asserted, matter of factly.

“i miss you.”

“you can’t keep saying that.” your shoulders sunk. looking at him now, you could feel all the emotions bubbling back up — the anger, the hurt, the tears, they were all coming back to you.

“i know, but it’s true.” he rushed to add. “that’s why i came here. i wanted to see you. i know we didn’t leave things the right way.”

“soobin, you were the first person i ever had sex with and you left me right after.” you tried to keep your cool and maintain your composure, but it was getting increasingly harder.

“i-i know. i’m sorry,” he stammered, remorse filling his eyes.

“is that all you came here to say? sorry?” he looked at you apologetically, offering no further words. “you hurt me so much and you couldn’t even say anything to me afterwards. i waited every day for months to see if you would ever call me and you didn’t. it was like i meant nothing to you. it was just so easy for you to forget that i existed.” as the words flowed, you felt a strange mixture of relief and sadness wash over you. the wounds were still fresh, but there was a catharsis in finally addressing the unspoken.

“i’m s—” he stopped himself. “i know i hurt you. i don’t know what i can do to make it right.”

“i don’t think there’s anything you can do to make it right.” you said, wiping the slow tears from your face. you sat up, meeting his gaze squarely. “i spent our entire relationship fighting for you to pay attention to me. i can’t do that anymore. i don’t want to beg someone to care about me.”

“i care about you. you know that.”

“do i?”

“i didn’t think this conversation would go like this if i’m being completely honest.”

“i’m not angry at you anymore. at least i’m trying not to be.” you tell him. “and i don’t hate you, if you thought i did. i don’t think i could ever hate you.”

“i don’t think i can’t not have you in my life.”

“i’m still your neighbor.” you joked.

“it’s not the same.” he admitted quietly, sitting beside you. “y/n, i love you.”

“soobin–” you turned to face him, searching his eyes for any sign that he understood the depth of your pain.

“i know, it’s too late. i just wanted you to know.” his gaze fixed on his hands, fingers tracing invisible patterns on his jeans. “i can’t erase the past. but i want to try to make amends, to find a way back to some semblance of… of friendship, maybe.”

friendship. the word hung in the air, a fragile bridge between your shared history and the uncertain future.

“i don’t know if we can be friends. not right now, at least. maybe not ever.”

he looked up, pain etched in the frown lines across his face. “i understand,” he murmured, voice heavy with regret.

silence enveloped, broken only by the distant sounds of life outside. after what felt like an eternity, you finally spoke, your voice softer now. “i think i need time. to you know, figure out my shit.”

he nodded. “i want you to know that i’m sorry. truly.”

“i know.”

with a heavy heart, you walked him to the door. as he left, you closed the door behind him, leaning against it for support. alone in the quiet of your dorm, you let the tears come. finally you had a release of all the emotions long held in check. you had tried your hardest to bury them, but now it was time for them to finally come out. the pain was still there, but with each tear that fell, you felt a small measure of healing begin.

in the days that followed, you took each moment as it came, allowing yourself to grieve for what was lost and to slowly rediscover the strength within you. spring continued to dance outside, and you vowed to find your own renewal.

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#fay's works #txt angst #txt fluff #choi soobin #soobin fluff #soobin angst #soobin x reader #soobin #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin angst #soobin smut #choi soobin smut #txt smut

[luna-andra]

Domesticated!König Headcanons: Meeting the future In-Laws ✨

Image: @Skavod29 on Twitter (Source)

I was floored by how much attention my first headcanon post got. Y'all had me fucking emotional and I am so happy it's something people actually like. It keeps me coming back to post more of my silly little ideas. Forever grateful for your support! ❤️

I also need to reiterate that my blog/posts are 18+ so MDNI, this one has some NSFW bonus HCS 💋

If you missed the first one, here :) StepDad!Konig is here!

I got other stuff! Masterlist pinned on my blog

When you decided it was time for your parents and König to meet, you were tempted to slip a Xanax into his morning coffee. It is not like he hasn’t said a polite hello and a few words over the phone or when you facetime them, but now he was finally meeting them in person. You’ve seen him more calm talking to two- and three-star generals than this, the kinds of things that rattled your nerves.

You swore he changed attire more times than you did. The sight of him re-rolling his sleeves on his button up shirt made you intervene before he undid them all over again. He paused when your hands held his, then flicked his azure eyes up to you. “They’re gonna love you, my king.” Your gentle smile and comforting words got through to him.

They welcomed you and the mystery man with open arms at their front door. Mom never knew how to keep her thoughts to herself, but she really did mean well. Of course, the first thing they all notice is how König has to duck under their doorway to come inside. “You weren’t lying when you said he was tall,” mom said. You gave her a warning look followed up with an apologetic smile to König. He managed to chuckle it off, it was nothing new for him. It did make him curious about what else you’ve said to your mom about the two of you.

You gave König a tour of your childhood home, nearly having to pry him from the wall of photos of you and your family. He had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face of the little timeline displayed in pretty frames; your first elementary school photo, a photo of you in a boy/girl scouts uniform, another of you during extra-curricular activities (band/orchestra, JROTC, sports, theater, robotics team, etc.), a prom photo with you and old friends, and lastly your high school graduation picture. König wanted a copy of one of them to keep in his wallet, mom promised to get him one behind your back.

König's field day got better when you showed him your childhood bedroom. Depending on how you last had it decorated, you were either low key bashful or regretting even showing him. It was like traveling back in time for him, giving him a glimpse of the kid and teen, you used to be. A chance to fall in love with every facet of you.

He was getting more comfortable when he found out your dad wasn’t out to get him as much as he thought. They ended up sitting in the living room, talking about a topic after your dad played twenty questions to figure him out. Something either about guns, hunting, hiking, fishing, blue-collar work, and if your dad is a veteran, they got along faster than you could imagine. You and mom caught up in the kitchen as you helped her finish up with cooking and setting the table.

If you have siblings, they showed up in the nick of time before dinner, to share embarrassing stories of you when you were a kid, or the stories you all waited to tell when you all were adults to avoid from getting in trouble. König watched and listened as you got more animated with laughter. Loving every second of this. He had a handful of memories he could count on his hand that were of happier times, but your memories became his favorite ones.

Everyone pestered the two of you for the story of how you met. And since you’ve been doing most of the talking, you looked to König to tell the tale. Your eyes never left him as he started the story from his point of view, recollecting the moment he saw you and how he was trying to come up with an excuse to try and talk to you. It donned on you that this was the first time you were hearing the way he saw you. “And now we’re here,” he concluded, looking over to you with a grin and a touch to your hand underneath the table.

NSFW Bonus:

König couldn’t stop thinking about taking you in your childhood room, nearly fantasizing what it would’ve been like if the two of you met as teens/younger adults. Indulging in the idea of sneaking into your bedroom window or standing outside with a boombox in 80s/90s style fashion.

Of course, your parents offered you to stay with them, not wanting you to have to rent a hotel room or travel back (depending on how far away you lived from them), so the later the night got, the more distracted König became with fulfilling his dirty thoughts.

It was just like the old days, having you home and hearing the music coming from your speakers when someone passed by the doorway. You were just showing König your CD collection, right?

It definitely wasn’t because you were trying to muffle your moans and screams as he pounded you into that fucking mattress. Making you a drooling and brainless mess under his rutting hips. He kept praising you for taking him so well and for being so quiet like the good little fuck thing you were, making it harder not to cum so fast. Secretly, this was your fantasy too, and you wanted it to last a little longer than the 10 minutes of foreplay and fucking you had already endured.

Likes & reblogs are always appreciated! Stay tuned for more to this unexpected series! Asks are opened for requests & ideas for others.

#konig #konig mw2 #konig cod #konig call of duty #konig x reader #konig x y/n #gn y/n #gn reader #headcanon #konig x you #konig headcanons #call of duty #call of duty mw 2

[milksuu]

Do you have any random dad!phel headcanons you'd like to share about how he deals with twins? Because I'm still obsessed 🥲

hc: dad!phel and his twin boy parenting from mom!reader

tw: mention of death, angst, minor injuries

notes: rcv'd multiple req. for this one, so here you all go! between dad!phel and yandere!phel...I can't pick one atm. im obsessed with both. still working on some dad!phel comic pages. stay tuned for those. <3

dad!phel made a special request to be a stay-at-home father for the first few years to raise the twins. just until they were of elementary school age. working from home was a huge help, and none of the his band mates minded. and of course, neither did manager auntie alune. considering she wanted what was best for her brother and nephews.

dad!phel made sure to keep them on a consistent schedule as infants, doing everything from feedings to cuddle times. it took him multiple failed attempts to get them in sync, especially when they shared a crib. if one woke up, then sure enough to other did. wailing and crying. double the sleepless nights for him. he made the healthy-dad choice of switching from heart attack inducing energy drinks to zen-out green tea. but even that was becoming an addiction. at some point he did buy a seperate crib for each. and baby monitors helped help him anticipate when one was stirring, so he could intercept one before the cries woke the other.

dad!phel encouraged the twins individuality whenever he could. naturally, they gravitated to each other whatever the situation was. it was no different between him and alune. except he felt he relied too heavily on his sister most of the time, which made social life difficult for him to navigate through without her. to make sure this wouldn't happen to either of them, he never bought matching sets for clothing or toys. allowing them to decide how they preferred to express themselves. of course, he would never turn down a matching gift set from his band mates or alune. usually he saved those pairs for when they were being watched over by the gifting recipient. it saved him from a awkward situation, made the other person happy, and the twins apathetic. a small win.

dad!phel also encouraged them having different sets of skills and hobbies, to even friend groups. again, not easy when they constantly wanted to hold each others hands for dear life, especially in new situations. it wasn't unusual for one to cry when the other was taken to another activity in their primary school years. it always weighed heavily when the instructors mentioned these outbursts between them. thinking perhaps he wasn't being a good or fair father to them. it took many pep talks from alune and the school counselor that this was normal, and he was doing his best as a single father.

dad!phel was never the best at making lunches...or breakfast, or dinner, or anything culinary related. Everything was either undercooked, overcooked, over salted, or just not the right combination of ingredients. it was one of his sore spots as a stay-at-home dad. the twins stopped complaining when he all but lost it when trying to make a ham sandwich without too much mustard. the twins quickly learned to just say 'thanks dad this is great', feed it to the neighborhood stray or flowers growing outside, and sneak into the fridge later. but they always appreciated when their dad writes words of affirmation on their school lunches, like 'keep on shining my awesome stars', and 'love you to the moon and back'.

dad!phel makes sure the twins keep up with their sign language retention and development, making it a rule for them to always use it at home. believing it will help them bolster their prospects in the future. when they're being rather defiant teenagers, he will only respond to them if they sign to him while speaking. otherwise, he pretends he's deaf rather than mute , and just continues on with whatever he's doing. it doesn't take them long to change their tune, especially if their asking for the latest video game about to release.

dad!phel was and still is the master of all pranks. everyday is a potential battle field of trick mines and purposefully placed banana peels. he has house cameras installed for a reason. watching anytime the twins are hiding to blast him with a double-trouble water gun. little do they know, he has a water balloon launcher at the ready. the twins smarten up real quick, find the hidden cameras, then hack into the security system. uploading and rendering a static image of a 'peaceful' household. then it was dad!phel who had to smarten up real quick. especially when their prank on him almost blew up the neighborhood powerline generator. (he rather not go into details)

dad!phel doesn't have any pictures of mom!reader around the house. ever since her passing, it's been too difficult to have any kind of reminder. a pain that he can't seem to get over, no matter how many support group session he takes himself to along with the twins. but he is trying, for the day he can unbury a single photo he has of mom!reader from the depths of his closet. and buried deep in the recesses of his heart.

"Dad. It's not fair. It's like you just keep her all to yourself," one of the twins stated.

"Sure, you've told us about her, but you've never showed even one picture. So, why's that? Why won't you show her to us?" the other cut in, biting on his words. "Did you even love her?"

Dinner conversation fell to a static silence. It shocked him to his core. He had heard these words before. These whispers. At the funeral. Relatives. Family members. Friends. Conversing in front of him. Behind him. All around him.

[Look at him. He's not even crying.]

[Does he even feel anything? She died giving birth to his children for God's sake.]

[I feel bad for them. Even if they weren't planned. Imagine having to be raised by a father so emotionless as him. Does he even have a heart?]

[Did he even love her?]

His eyes were wide, staring at nothing but a distant memory. Lost to everything. His hands trembled. Reigning them to steady, he placed them on his barely emptied plate. Without a word, he lifted himself along with his plate, sauntering heavily to the sink. Washing, picking, scrubbing. Every spot. Every lie—they were all wrong. He felt everything. So vividly. So painfully. If he surrendered to even a fraction of it, the whole world would break into unmendable pieces. So he couldn't cry. Couldn't feel anything. He had to be strong for her. He had to be strong for them.

"Dad. Stop. You're going to—!" One of the twins rose in their seat, but it was too late. The plate shattered from the destructive pressure, slicing bits and pieces of his hands. He didn't feel a thing. Maybe they were right after all.

The twins rushed to their father's side. One worked on removing the splinters of ceramic digging into his palms, the other pressing wads of paper towels to his gashes and cuts. When the moment settled, the twins sniffed on their tears, hugging him at each side.

"We're sorry dad. Really sorry," one choked, burying their nose into his sleeve.

"We...We didn't mean..." the other hiccuped, dampening his other sleeve. "We just wish we met her. That's all."

In the vacant stare of his eyes, a wetness blurred his vision. For the first time. Since he gathered the two bassinets from the NICU staff. To the moment he stepped into a cold empty home with them. Afraid to even touch them, till they reached out and took hold of his fingers. The tears came pouring, and he felt they would never end. Drowning and suffocating him in such bitter sweet memories.

He gathered his sons in his arm, condensing himself in the comfort of their soft beds of hair. Allowing the tears to stain his face and drip in dollops from his quivering chin.

They had to know. They needed to know. They deserved to know. That he loved their mother more than anything in this world.

And with them, he felt her love every single day.

#league of legends #heartsteel #aphelios #aphelios x reader #dad!phel #mom!reader #league fanfic #reader insert #next gen oc #league oc #reqs open #yo not me crying rn #yall did this to me istg

[purpleyoonn]

Dance of Time 2

D A N C E   O F   T I M E

“A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you never entirely recover.” -Bukowski

Summary: You were finally back in the hometown you left right after graduation, researching the mysterious manor that laid outside of the town limits. Your family was acting weird, and the owner of the manor seemed to know more about you than he should. Everything changed when you entered the manor, and you weren’t sure your dance with time was going to last very long.

Pairing: Vampire BTS x Human Reincarnated Reader

Status: Ongoing (random updates)

Genre: soulmate au, reincarnation, yandere themes, possessive boys, angst, fluff,

Warnings: smut, violence, tempers, mentions of death, murder, some explicit descriptions of violence, blood,

Chapter Warnings: flashback scenes, fingering, slight smut, teasing, possessive bangtan, yandere bangtan, awkward family dinners, jin takes charge, 

Masterlist // Chapter 1 // Chapter 3

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Previously on Dance of Time:

“Joon says he is going to have Jimmy email her tomorrow about a meeting. He doesn’t want to waste any time in having her again. That old bat already kept her from us once, he doesn’t want it to happen again.” The older man quirks his head, listening to the bitter tone his younger mate held. The contempt for the old women palpable as he looks at his mate.

“We won’t have to worry about her, or him this time. They know what will happen if she is kept from us again.” Both men’s eyes flash red, their reflection against your window showing the veins creeping up their eyes at the remembrance of you leaving town the first time.

“She won’t be able to hide from us again.” Turning around and back into the tree line, the younger steals once last glance at your sleeping form before letting himself be dragged into the trees, food being the only thing on his mind once again as he let the feeling of the hunt take over once more.

You had just left the house for the library, wanting to get an early start on your research. You had barely slept an hour, couldn’t rest with the feeling of someone watching you. Instead, you spent some time going through photos, particularly the photo album your mom had put together when you were in elementary school.

It held old photos, grade school pictures, even artwork you completed in class and your mother put up on the fridge for everyone to see. She had little notes associated with each piece, something you said or what she thought of the piece. It had you smiling as you ran your fingers over her handwriting.

The library was one of the oldest buildings in town, the old worn-down brick was dark, tainted with time and memories. It was one of your favorite places growing up, your mom taking you there quite often after school, and sometimes even during school when you were having a bad day. It was your happy place, where your imagination wasn’t shot down or stifled. Where you could read about far off kingdoms and magic wielders.

The door was already opened, allowing you to enter and come face to face with Mrs. Shay, the very women who helped build your love for reading. Your footsteps alerted her to your presence, and when she looked up, the biggest smile grew on her lips as she began to move out from behind the front desk. Her arms were held out, waiting for you to move in, wrapping your own arms around her.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the little darling who used to run my library rampant!” She exclaimed, squeezing you tight once more before pulling back, placing her hands on your shoulders to get a better look at you.

“Hey now! I was such a good kid!” You retorted back, not even fighting the grin that made its way on your face. Mrs. Shay just scrunched her nose at you, shaking her head at your expression.

“You haven’t changed, have you darlin’?” With your grin still on your lips, you shake your head, only for her to slap you on the arm.

“Okay darlin’, what can I do for you? I know you didn’t come back just to say hi to little ole me.” Your grin turned sheepish, confirming her thoughts.

“Actually, while I do love and miss you, I had some research I wanted to do, and was wondering if you would allow me access into the town’s archives.” You bat your eyelashes at the women you grew up admiring, hoping she would take the bait and allow you access. Your stare down lasted for a few moments, ending with Mrs. Shay letting out a long, dramatic sigh and grabbing her keys from the drawer.

“You’re a life saver Mrs. Shay!” You exclaim, getting excited as you watch her put her key in the door to the archives, jumping a little in your boots as she twists her hand and pushes the door open.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just remember to put everything back when you’re done. I don’t need the town council on my back.” She wavers her hand at you before closing the door behind her, leaving you alone in a room with hundreds if not a thousand primary documents of the history of the town.

The room seemed to be a storage room converted into the archives, wall to wall bookshelves filled with a mixture of boxes, books, and other artifacts. They were sorted by date or event, which led you to the pre-civil-war section. There wasn’t much, just a box of property line records and a small book of death and birth records.

You pulled the box off the shelf only to have a leather notebook fall onto the floor, having been hidden halfway behind the box. You turned around, placing the box on the small table in the middle of the room and moved back so you could pick the notebook up. It was old, and tied together with a leather strip.

Curiously, you sat in the chair at the table, and moved to open the notebook when your phone rang, the ringtone signaling an email notification sounded. Placing the notebook down, you grabbed your laptop from your backpack and opened it up to see an email from Mr. Kelly. His employer wanted to have lunch with you to go over any questions you had.

You were a little suspicious, as suddenly he was in town and had time to meet with you when others have been trying for years to do the same. But you were excited all the same. You would be getting your questions answered and your research would be furthered.

The time in the email stated to meet Mr. Kim at 12 o’clock at the diner, meaning you had just enough time to take pictures of everything before you could leave. Once you spent a couple hours grueling over every piece of paper, you placed everything back in the box and put it back on the correct spot on the shelf.

Your mind kept going back to the notebook, intrigue not even covering the emotions you felt as you looked down at it. Making a quick second decision, you snatch the notebook up and place it in your backpack, inside the sweatshirt you brought just in case, hoping that would keep it safe.

You felt attached to the damned thing, like you recognized it, in a way. Like you had seen it before. It was a weird feeling, but it kept you from putting it back onto the shelf. You were too curious to its contents anyways. Why would someone hide it behind a box anyways?

How many secrets were concealed within the old, leather notebook?

You couldn’t concentrate on anything you were writing, two of your lovers giggling behind you as they laid in the bed you just left. You were trying to write down your thoughts, something you always did, and no one, not even your loves were going to get in the way.

“Beth, my beloved, please come back. You know I get cold when you leave.” Arms wrap around your waist, their plump lips kissing from the nape of your neck to their mark, just inside the crevice where your shoulder meets your neck.

“You are always cold, my love. The covers will keep you warm.” You gently assure your mate, who starts to whine into your neck. His hands start to wander, pulling up the end of your nightgown so he could have easier access to you.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come back to bed, beloved?” His voice switches tone quickly, a smirk to his lips as he sucks onto your mark, the moan leaving your lips immediately, as it always does when they touch your mark.

His fingers move to your core, feeling how wet you already were as he pushed one finger inside, just barely enough for you to whimper once he retreats.

You scoff as he moves back to the bed, hating the teasing they always do to you. Closing your notebook, promising yourself you would come back to it, you climb back onto the bed, pulling back the blankets just enough for both of your loves cocks to become uncovered. Reaching forward, you go to move in between their bodies when he grabs you and brings you up to the headboard, your hands grasping for balance as a tongue enters you just as quick.

You steady yourself against the table, your knees almost giving out on you as a whimper leaves your lips. You could practically still feel their tongue in you, your pussy wet and making you wince at the feeling. You could almost feel your leggings becoming stained.

If it was a hallucination, you wouldn’t be feeling this way. But it felt so real. The men in your dream felt real, their touch on you. You didn’t recognize them, not their voices or their faces. But your body seemed to remember them.

You fought against yourself as you stood full height, lugging your backpack back onto your shoulders and pushed yourself out of the room, hoping and praying that your leggings weren’t see through right now. Your watch said it was 11:30, and you didn’t want to be late for your meeting with Mr. Kim.

You said your goodbyes and promises of return to Mrs. Shay and left for the appointment. Despite in your most basic leggings, the ones with pockets because you liked pockets, and an oversized flannel covering your “history is a mystery” t-shirt, you made your way to the diner, leaving your backpack in your trunk as you got to the parking lot. You know you should have made more time to change, but it seemed like time passed by unusually fast when you were sucked into a hallucination.

Pushing open the door to the diner, you were met by someone you went to high school with, her smile dropping a little before becoming grander than before, her fake politeness kicking in.

“Welcome back to town! Table for one?” She asks you, her voice pitched high and making you flinch a tiny bit with the pain now ringing in your ears. You glance back at your watch to see it glowing 12:03.

“Um no. I am actually meeting someone. I don’t know if he has arrived yet or not. Mr. Kim?” You pitch your voice up towards the end, out of nerves and so she knew you were asking her a question. She quirks her eye at you but nonetheless grabs a menu for you and walks to the right, you move quickly to follow her.

She leads you to the back of the restaurant, the table located in the corner and where someone was already sitting. He was dressed impeccably, a tailored suit and slicked back hair making you become self-conscious of what you were wearing. 

He had sharp features, and his eyes reminded you of a dragon’s, always watching and perceiving any threat of danger. He seemed to take a deep breath when you and Tiffany started to approach, his eyes shooting straight up to stare into your own.

You had to hold back a gasp, his stare intense and filled with emotion. He looked at you like he would rather perish than look anywhere else. Even as you approached and Tiffany placed your menu on the table, bumping back into you as she walked past, his eyes were still on you. You looked away, moving to sit in the booth, a little uncomfortable under his intense gaze.

A small cough had you looking up, though, a small smile now resting on his lips. You bite the inside of your cheek, a little nervous to be in this man’s presence. He radiated power and authority, but emotion seemed to flow through him like a fountain, radiating his thoughts into your chalice.

“Hello. My name is Namjoon. I am the current owner of the Weeping Manor. Are you Y/n?” Even his voice was attractive, goddamn. It was deep and low and had you feeling all kinds of tingles in your nether regions.

“Yes, I am. It’s very nice to meet you Mr. Kim.”

“Please. Call me Namjoon. I feel like with the way my assistant was talking, we will become well acquainted soon enough.” You let out a little nervous laugh, the feeling in your core becoming unavoidable now.

“Well, Namjoon, I am grateful that you agreed to meet me on such short notice.” Short notice your ass, you had been trying for weeks since you decided to come home. “I am a historian and am currently working on a piece of the town, writing about the myths and legends, and seeking out the truths behind them. The biggest legend being the ones associated with manor itself. Would it be okay if I asked you a couple of questions?” You asked, your voice filled with hope as you sat across from the slightly intimidating but extremely attractive man.

Namjoon couldn’t help himself but to fall even deeper for you, your personality different than that of his Beth, but entirely the same as well. He had been waiting years to be in your presence again, and he was going to make it worthwhile.

He knew that he and his mates were growing impatient, the past nine years with you having been stolen from then. Your grandmother was supposed to tell you everything, was supposed to bring you to them, and now she doesn’t have a choice but to watch you be with them. To lose you to their bond.

There was nothing more Namjoon, or any of his clan, wanted to do than hold you in their arms, listening to the sound of your breathing, feel the rhythm of your heartbeat against their skin. You were alive, and theirs once more, and nothing would get in their way of having you.

“Of course, I’ll try my best to answer any questions you have.”

-*-*-

You were completely entranced with Namjoon. You couldn’t stop blushing at his jokes and giggling like a little schoolgirl at any joke he told. You were acting like a fool with a crush, something your momma would have slapped you over the head for.  You were in a ditch, having fallen very quick for his charm.

“The renovations on the manor should be completed by this weekend, you could come by for a tour if you would like? I’m sure you could learn a lot more inside the manor instead of reading about it.” Namjoon’s words brought you out of your thoughts on his hands, your mind imagining them on you, helping you in more ways than one.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude or ruin anything.” You begin to deny, not wanting to be pushy and show how badly you would like to tour the manor.

“You won’t ruin anything.” His tone suddenly became clipped, harsh, as he spoke. It scared you a little and had you drawing back from your spot resting against the table.

“I promise, you won’t ruin anything and that it’s completely fine. In fact, I think my partner might be available to join us. He knows more about the history of the manor than I do, to be honest.” His tone quickly returned to being sweet as he watched you put your notebook and pen back into your bag.

Your phone dings, with a message from your grandma appearing on your watch. Dinner was ready. You hadn’t even realized how long you had been sitting and talking with Namjoon that your grandma was already asking you when you would be home for dinner.

“I am so sorry but I’m going to have to cut this meeting short. My grandma is requesting that I be home for dinner. Can’t say no to her.” Your lips upturn at the end, a little smile as you think of your grandma, probably standing at the door waiting for you with her hands on her hips.

Namjoon rolled his eyes when you looked away. Of course, the old bat couldn’t wait. She had to take you away from him. He barely had you and you were already gone, rushing out the doors of the diner after he gave you the reluctant okay to leave. If he didn’t want you to hate him, despite the bond working in his favor, he would have taken you the second you walked out of your car. But he had to play the waiting game. Get you to trust him.

He could tell you were already having the visions, could feel the confusion in the air as he smelled your sweet arousal. He wondered what you saw, what you felt as you were sent back. Wondered who was in your visions. It wasn’t him, as you had no recollection on your face upon seeing him. He hoped it wasn’t Jin, as he would be accompanying you two this weekend when you come to tour.

He would take initiative, like always, and send you an email with details about the tour, not giving you an option. He needed you to be there, to visit your old bedroom and library. He needed for you to understand that their bond with you transcends lifetimes, transcends even the space forced between you.

It was pure luck you would descend from the same family that their first mate, Elisabeth, would descend from. Your ancestor, Victoria, being their mate’s younger sister. They had been watching your family line for years, protecting you for their mate’s sake. And when you were born, they all got the feeling of warmth in their chest, the same feeling they got when Elisabeth was born.

It didn’t take long to find you; the small towns hospital only having a single floor. They were quick to recognize your father, having watched him grow up. Seeing the seven men outside his wife’s hospital room, your father knew. Forbid them from seeing you. But nothing would stop them.

Small gifts would appear on their front porch, things you or your mom would need until you grew old enough. Your school was always paid for, anything you reached for in a store would appear the next morning in your room. Your mother grew scared and worried, thinking someone had been stalking them.

When your family finally told her the truth, she thought they were crazy, tried to run with you. But she didn’t even make it past the county’s borders when she was stopped by your mates. Promises of protection and threats of pain encompassing their words if your mother was to ever take you away from them.

She refused their “gifts” but knew that they wouldn’t stop. So, she decided she would be the only one to ever take care of your needs, especially after your father passed away. She didn’t want you to rely on them in any way.

She started to hide their gifts, burn the ones she could when she had the chance. She took on multiple jobs, even going back to night school for nursing so she would be able to provide for you. Your mother thought that if she had accepted those gifts for you, it meant that she was promising you to them, it meant that she was accepting the fact that you were theirs.

By the time you turned ten, the gifts had stopped showing up. She thought that meant they had given up, that they had stepped back. But they didn’t. They had decided that they would wait until you were of age, renovate the manor in the meantime. Make it safer for you.

They had waited more than a decade for you, and all be damned if anyone got in their way.

-*-*-

Dinner was a little awkward again, this time you think you’re the only one who feels it. You keep moving around in your seat, adjusting your position as you listen to your grandma and uncle chat about what they did today. Your grandma had worked in the front garden and your uncle facetimed your cousins, his phone gallery full of screenshots from talking to his grandkids.

You wanted to bring up your tour appointment of the manor with them, excitement building in your chest, but you don’t want a redo of dinner yesterday, having your grandma storm out and your uncle left to deal with the aftermath. You planned to keep quiet until your grandmother asked if you had any plans for the weekend.

“Um actually, I was invited by the owners of the manor to tour it this weekend.” Your words had both of your relatives freezing in their places, your uncle even having food fall into his lap from where it was on his fork.

“Oh, well this weekend I was going to ask if you would be able to help me pull some weeds out of the garden. There is a bunch of them and I am afraid my plants will suffer their fate. Your uncle has already explained he will be going to visit Katharine and will be gone this weekend.” Katharine is your cousin who lives in Colorado, having moved there with her husband a couple years back.

You were a little surprised, as he hadn’t mentioned anything to you, but you also couldn’t say no to your grandmother, especially with the pleading look she had on her face. This garden is something she has been working on since she married your grandfather. It was her pride and joy and held many different flowers and herbs.

Your favorite was this little purple flower that grew in patches at the very edge of the garden and continued to grow on the fence surrounding your property. It almost reminded you of lavender, the purple plants have similar shapes, but the smell was different. You remember asking your grandmother what they were once, but she said she didn’t remember the name, only that they were meant to protect you.

“Okay, I’ll let Mr. Kim know that I need to reschedule to a later date.” You acquiesce your stance, trying not to fight again and choosing to listen to your grandmother. The smile on her face means everything and helps you to feel like you were doing the right thing, choosing to spend this time with her doing something she loves.

You told yourself that this would probably be the last time you were able to spend time with her like this, knowing she was getting up there in age and each note from the doctor seemed to be getting worse.

“Thank you, baby. I’m excited to show you all the new things I’ve planted in my garden since your last visit!” You nod before taking your empty plate to the kitchen sink, washing and drying it before making your way back to your room so you can email Mr. Kim.

Dear Mr. Kim,

I apologize but I will be unable to attend the planned tour this weekend. I am also in town to visit with my grandmother and she has requested my help with something this weekend. I know that your time is valuable, and I appreciate your willingness to let me tour your home. Is it possible to reschedule to another time convenient for you?

Historian with Song International Archives,

Y/n Jacquess

Namjoon was furious when he received your email. He had hoped your grandmother had learned to mind her business and not to interfere in bonded affairs, but it seems he had overestimated her.

“This damned women! We should have taken her out of the picture years ago!” He roared out, throwing all of the papers off his desk as Jimin and Hoseok rushed in, immediately moving to try and soothe their mate.

“She is trying to interfere again then, hmm?” Jin murmurs from the door, closing his eyes as he tries to think of a solution.

“Have her come tomorrow. I can move my schedule around. Once we have her, as per agreement, they can’t do anything.” Jin’s words are commanded, not stated as he stands tall. He is done with the unsufferable humans messing with things they know not of.

“Our mate will be ours tomorrow. If Eden didn’t meddle, she would have had more time with her granddaughter. But this shall be her doing.” By the time he finished speaking, the entire coven was in the room, Yoongi and Taehyung with their lips freshly coated in blood.

Namjoon steels his demeanor, moving to quickly email you back the terms of the rescheduled tour. He is going to make it seem like the only time he has available will be tomorrow at nine o’clock, that way he has a good time with the tour, able to show you everything with pride, before they reveal themselves to you. It was perfect.

Ms. Jacquess,

I would be delighted to reschedule our tour. However, the only time I have available is tomorrow morning at nine o’clock am. I hope this is alright with you.

Yours truly,

Kim Namjoon

You were surprised at how quickly he responded back, but a little flabbergasted by the quick timeframe you had to work with. You were free tomorrow but wondered if you would have time to put everything together before tomorrow morning. You needed to gather your notebooks, your voice recorder, your pens and highlighters for notes, and your camera; it was a lot. But you knew it was worth it if you would be able to get an inside look at the infamous Weeping Manor.

Mr. Kim,

That would work wonderfully for me. Thank you so much for switching the time of the tour for me. I am truly grateful. Should I meet you at the manor?

Historian with Song International Archives,

Y/n Jacquess

Ms. Jacquess,

Then I shall pen you into my schedule. I will pick you up at nine o’clock.

Yours truly,

Mr. Kim

You were a little confused, why would he choose to pick you up when he lives at the manor? Isn’t that out of his way to come and get you? It didn’t make sense. Plus, how did he know where you lived? Yeah, you lived in a small town, but even you didn’t know where most people lived in the town. You tried to question Mr. Kim about it, but you never received another email before you fell asleep to the sound of the wind blowing outside your window.

Next Chapter

#bts #bts au #bts vampire #bts vampire au #bts historical au #historian mc #vampire bts #bts soulmate #bts soulmate au #bts slight yandere #vampiretan sonyeondan #bts polyamory #bts poly #bts poly!au #bts poly au #bts poly! #human reader #reincarnated mc #dance of time #purpleyoonn

[spookyswiftie111]

August (Steve Harrington x Reader)

Warnings: Slight smut, implied sumt, language, some angst.

Author's note: Here is the first part of the August series with Steve!! Hope you all enjoy. Sorry it is so long!

“Salt air, and the rust on your door, I never needed anything more. Whispers of Are you sure? Never have I ever before. But I can see us lost in the memory, August slipped away into a moment in time, cause it was never mine. And I can see us twisted in bedsheets, August sipped away like a bottle of wine, cause you were never mine.”

I’ve known the Harrington’s since I was in elementary school. My father moved to Hawkins to begin his new job and we moved in next to Harrington’s. Mine and Steve’s bedrooms were facing each other, and we created secret codes from our windows. Our families became so close that we would vacation to a beach house we all shared during the summer. We usually stayed from the beginning of August until the end, right before school started back. This year was a little different because I was a senior at Hawkins High School, but Steve was leaving for college. Steve is my best friend and I have not allowed myself to think about how it’s going to feel when the only person who gets me is hours away. Recently, Steve began dating Nacy Wheeler and I have seen very little of him. He missed our family movie nights, family days at Star Court Mall, and I felt so alone, because truthfully, I was in love with Steve Harrington myself. Feelings I denied all through middle school and almost all high school, but once we started to grow, my feelings for Steve did as well. I always had the hope he felt the same, but once he brought Nancy to a family dinner, I knew I would always be just his best friend.

“Are you ready, Y/N?” My mother yelled from downstairs as my father loaded the car.

“I’m coming mom!” I yelled back, as I pulled my hair up and ran down the stairs. When I walked from the front door, Steve leaned against our car, smiling at me.

“There she is!” Steve said coming over to put me in a headlock. Nancy was on the other side of Steve smiling at us. It was August 1st and we were heading to our beach house. It was going to be a whole month that the love birds would be apart, so Nancy came to send Steve off.

“You’re riding with me, kid”. Steve said to me as he walked back over to place his arm around Nancy.

“Well, I’m picking the music then, Harrington”. I said as I hit his arm. Steve smirks at me, knowing this is an ongoing fight between us two. I hugged my mother and father, as they load in the car with Steve’s parents. I get in the passenger seat of Steve’s car, as he sticks his tongue down Nancy’s throat, causing my skin to crawl. He climbs in the driver’s seat, as Nancy leans in the window.

“See you, Y/N. Take care of my boy”. She says while kissing Steve on the cheek. I really like Nancy and she is super sweet, but she will never know Steve the way I do. His deepest, darkest secrets. The nights we stayed up watching movies when his parents were being dicks to him. Steve spent many nights at our home and seen more care from us than his parents.

“Of course, I will make sure to keep Stevie in line” I say giving a thumbs up to Nancy. I notice Steve’s hand tense up on the steering wheel at the sound of my decades long nickname for him.

We have been driving for a couple of hours before Steve and I ever talked. Since I called Steve our nickname, he was quiet and didn’t even fight my music choices like usual.

“Steve, is everything okay? Did I upset you?” I say touching Steve’s forearm. I hear Steve sigh and run his hands through his always messy hair.

“No, no, you of all people would not be one to easily upset me”. Steve says touching my hand gently. I feel butterflies erupting in my stomach at his touch.

“What’s wrong then? Is it because you already miss Nance? You know you can tell me anything, Stevie” I say grabbing his hand. Steve looks over at me and lightly smiles.

“Yeah, of course I miss her, but I don’t know what I’m going to do without you when I’m at college.” Steve says staring straight ahead at the road. The butterflies get worse at his statement because I haven’t allowed myself to think about this fully. Steve and I sit in silence during the rest of the trip and just listen to music. There is a heaviness in the air and part of me hopes we are feeling the same thing, but I know that isn’t possible.

“Your back beneath the sun, wishing I could write my name on it. Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinking I had you.”

We finally arrived at the beach house, and I ran right in to change into my swimsuit to get to the beach. I change into my red, high-waisted bikini and head out the door.

“Heading to the beach already, sweetheart?” My mother says chuckling at my eagerness. I notice Steve unloading our bags but stops once he hears my mother’s comment. He turned to look at me and suddenly back to the car, as his cheeks flushed red. What did I do? This isn’t the first time we have been to the beach together and not the first time he’s seen me in a bathing suit. I headed down to the beach to start tanning. Not long after I settled in, I hear someone coming up beside me.

“Hey, kid”. Steve says towering above me, smirking.

“Stop calling me, kid, Harrington.” I say rolling over on my stomach to get away from him. Steve snickers and finds a spot next to me on the beach. Even though he’s not paying attention to me, I look over at him while he is blissfully unaware of my gawking. His perfect freckles cascade down his back and it takes everything in me not to place kisses down it to mark my territory.

“Promise you won’t forget me when you get to college?” I say leaning up on my arms and staring at him.

“I could never forget you, you’re my best friend.” Steve says rolling over to look at me, a concerned look on his face.

“Call me every night to keep me updated on the college life?” I say squeezing Steve’s arm. I notice Steve tense at my touch.

“Um, of course, yeah.” Steve says running his hands through his hair.

“Alright, Steve, what’s going on? You’ve been quiet the whole ride down and now every time I touch you or call you a nickname, I’ve called you since we were seven, you act all distant.” I say sitting up to turn myself to Steve. He sighs and takes his sunglasses off to make eye contact with me.

“You wouldn’t get it if I told you.” Steve says, turning to face me.

“Try me. I know you better than you know yourself, so I bet I will” I say scooting closer to Steve to touch his hand.

“We’ve been best friends since we were kids, right?” Steve says, taking my hand.

“Umm yeah?” I was confused at where he was taking me.

“Then why do I feel this way about you? I have Nancy and I do love her, but seeing you this summer, all grown up and somehow different than I remember, I feel something. Maybe it’s me getting cold feet moving away from the only person who has ever truly known me, but the nickname, the touches, something is happening to me, and I can’t figure it out, Y/N.” Steve says staring deeply into my eyes and squeezing my hand tighter. I suddenly feel as if my body is numb and not in this reality. Did my best friend just admit to me he feels something for me, like I have been for him?

“You don’t have to answer me or even understand, but if I kept denying it, I would go crazy. Mom has a bottle of wine that I snuck into my suitcase. Want to head to our room and pre-game before dinner?” Steve says smiling at me and grabbing my hand to pull me up.

“Um yeah, of course, let’s go.” I say still processing his sudden confession of feelings. We headed back to the beach house and Steve holds my hand and my towel the whole way there. When we get back to the beach house, our parents are all dressed and fully made up.

“There you two are! We were wondering where you went” Steve’s mother says to us as we reach the back patio.

“Just catching some sun” Steve says slightly smiling back at her.

“Well, we are heading out to dinner with another couple from Hawkins that is vacationing here as well. You kids order pizza or get anything you need. We will be back late!” Steve’s mother says as they grab their purses and head to the car. Now Steve and I are left in our silence and confused confessions.

“Steve? Can I be honest with you?” I say turning to face him. Steve places his hands on my bare shoulders and squeezes.

“Of course, Y/N. Always.” He makes direct eye contact with me.

“I’m in love with you. I think I always have been, but I really realized it this summer and I like Nancy, but I hate seeing you give her the love I have been yearning for for so long.” I say nervously awaiting his reaction. Steve looks down, hands still on my shoulders. He takes my hand and leads me to our shared room. He unzips his suite case and grabs the bottle of win out. He pops the cork and offers me a sip. I take it and down a large swig. Steve chuckles and does the same. We sip on the wine all night until it’s all gone. We laugh and reminisce about the past.

“You remember that black dress you wore to junior prom with Billy?” Steve asks, leaning closer to me.

“How could I forget? That was the night you tried to kick Billy’s ass for feeling me up” I laugh as I push his hair out of his face. Steve tenses and clenches his jaw at the gesture.

“Well, I thought you looked so hot then. I was even jealous of Billy because he got to have you on his arm all night and not me. And he didn’t even appreciate the amazing person you are”. Steve says suddenly serious. He leans closer to me, our foreheads touching and the smell of the wine on his breath caressing my face. He puts his hand on the side of my face, bringing my eyes up to meet his.

“Steve….” I say, feeling the butterflies overtake my whole body and soul.

“Shhhh, just give in, damnit.” Steve says pushing me back onto the bed, on a cloud of white linen. Steve kisses me for the first time on my lips. It was everything I ever dreamed it to be, and my heart was exploding. I allowed his hands to roam my body and fulfill every fantasy I’ve ever had of him. Steve is so gentle with me, and this feels like a movie.

“This is everything I have dreamed about” Steve says breaking our kiss and staring into my eyes.

“Steve, is this the wine talking? Or is this real?” I say rubbing my hands up and down his arm.

“Y/N, I’ve always wanted to do this, but the wine is giving me the courage” He smiles at me and begins kissing me more passionately. With each minute that passes, we lose more pieces of clothing, until our bare bodies are wrapped in the white sheets.

“Are you sure about this? Do we want to cross this line?” Steve whispers in my ear, hands still roaming my body.

“I’ve never done any of this before, Steve. I know you have hooked up with several girls, but I’m sure as long as you want to cross the line” I say in desperation and lust. Steve smiles down at me and continues exploring every inch of my body as if he couldn’t get enough. I never in my wildest dreams though Steve Harrington, my best friend, would be my first kiss and my first time. He treated me so gently, as if one false move would cause me to break. It made me somehow fall even farther in love with him. Our parents were all too drunk to realize we had done “turned in for the night” and the drunkenly stumbled to their respective rooms. Steve spent those moments rubbing circles on my back and intently staring into my eyes with such admiration.

“Steve? What about Nance?” I say, placing my hand on the side of his face.

“Let me handle that when I get back”. Steve says kissing my shoulder, then my neck, then my cheek. I felt what seemed like fire burning deep in my stomach and my core as he continued to kiss every small crease of my body.

“Stevie?” I say as I close my eyes and allow my head to meet the pillow and my eyes close in pleasure.

“Yes, baby girl?” Steve says, pulling me close and placing small kisses on me still.

“Make love to me all night long, please. Hell, make love to me this whole month. On the beach, in your car, in this bed. I just need every bit of you every minute.” I say combing my hands through his hair and still shuddering from the pet name he just called me.

“Mmmm, baby girl, it would be my absolute pleasure to make love to you for every year we missed out on. Let me take care of you, let me love you how you should be loved and forget about everyone else” Steve pulls our bare bodies together.  

And that is exactly what he did. We snuck out to have make-out sessions on the beach, then we made love on the beach. We teased each other under the table at family dinners before we would excuse ourselves to climb in the back of Steve’s car. But it wasn’t all sex. God, we got so close. Even closer than I ever imagined we could be.

“So, what do you want to do with your life?” Steve asked while rubbing circles on my bare back, as we were wrapped in our sheets.

“I would love to be an English teacher and finally use my nerd abilities to help others” I say looking into Steve’s hazel eyes that were all on me.

“Well, you are the hottest nerd I’ve ever seen, always with her nose in a book” Steve says peppering small kisses down my collarbone.

“Stevie?” I ask, with my eyes closed, feeling as if round two wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

“Yes, baby girl?” Steve says, now placing kisses all the way down my stomach, but looks up to give me his full attention.

“It’s almost the end of August, what are we going to do when we get back? What are we? What about Nancy?” I say, feeling a knot form in my stomach. Steve stops suddenly and crawls back up to lay beside me, a now serious expression on his face.

“I honestly haven’t thought about any of that. I’ve been so caught up in what we’ve had this month. What do you want to be?” Steve asks, pushing a strand of hair out of my face.

“Steve, I’d be your wife right now if you asked me. I love you, so fucking much. Like you have no idea how much I love and care for you. But I’m afraid this has been some lustful summer of us catching up on the feelings we’ve denied for so long. I’m so scared Nancy can give you everything I can’t. She’s the same age as you and I’m still in high school.” I say, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. Steve pulls me in and combs my hair.

“Baby girl, it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. This hasn’t been just a lustful summer. We finally gave in, and I have learned more about you than I ever have. I wake up every day truly happy because I’m waking up next to you, because I get to love you. Do I feel bad for blindsiding Nance? Of course, but do I love you? Hell yes. I always have. It’s always been you. I don’t give a shit if you are ONE year younger than me, you get me better than anyone else and that’s all that matters. I am going to be so lost without you while I’m at college.” Steve says while kissing my head to reassure me. My heart feels so full, but it feels too good to be true. But for now, I’m going to enjoy the last two days of August with the man I have been in love with since I was seven.

“Back when we were still changing' for the better, wanting was enough. For me, it was enough. To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you call, and say, "Meet me behind the mall". So much for summer love and telling "us", Cause you weren't mine to lose. You weren't mine to lose, no, But I can see us lost in the memory, August slipped away into a moment in time, cause it was never mine. And I can see us twisted in bedsheets, August sipped away like a bottle of wine. Cause you were never mine, cause you were never mine, never mine. But do you remember? Remember when I pulled up and said, "Get in the car" and then canceled my plans just in case you'd call? Back when I was living' for the hope of it all, for the hope of it all, Meet me behind the mall."

Steve and I spent the last two days of August wine drunk in our room, making out, making love, and talking about the future. Not just about “us”, but the future we wanted. How many kids we wanted, out house, and our careers. It was time to load back up and head home to Hawkins, face Nancy, and the future. Steve left for college in tomorrow morning, and I already dreaded life without him for a bit. I would count down every day until I got to see him at holidays or on breaks.

“You good, baby girl?” Steve asked me, one hand on the wheel and the other placed on my thigh.

“Ummm, yeah, sure. I’m good. Just nervous for the future.” I say forcing a smile at him.

“We have each other, that’s all that matters”. Steve squeezes my thigh and looks back to the road. Somehow, I was losing hope this might be true. I was scared and nervous that once he seen Nancy, there would be no more “us”. He wasn’t mine, technically. He was hers. She had no idea about our August. She had no idea the deep conversations we shared. She had no idea we were in love with each other and always had been.

We pull into the driveway at Hawkins and Nacy is waiting on the front steps, excited to see Steve return. My heart sank and sank even more when Steve removed his hand from my thigh.

“Just until I talk to her, okay? Then I’ll touch you whenever and wherever to show the world you’re my girl.” Steve smiles over at me.

“Guys!! You are finally back. How was the beach house?” Nancy says squeezing the life out of Steve as he got out of the car.

“I was amazing. Best summer I’ve ever had.” Steve says looking over Nancy’s shoulder to mouth, “I love you”. I smile, but my heart still hurts. Seeing them together when all I want is to be taken into Steve’s arms.

“So, I called the crew and why don’t we go to Star Court mall tonight and catch up?” Nancy says excitedly.

“Yeah, um that sounds great. We’d love to, right Y/N?” Steve says, hitting my arm playfully.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. It sounds like so much fun” I say forcing a smile to Nancy.

“I’ll call everyone and tell them to meet us there at 7. I’ll see you guys then!” Nancy says walking from the house. Steve makes sure she is out of sight and then he pulls me close.

“Now that we are alone, why don’t we go to my room? Talk some more” Steve says in a flirty tone, while kissing my ear. Chills go down my body and I suddenly need him.

Steve takes my hand and leads me to his bedroom before closing the door and pining me between him and the wall. He takes my face in his hands and kisses me just as passionately as he did at the beach house. Our clothes slowly start to fall off, as we make our way to bed.

“Stevie, baby, I need you, so bad” I say as Steve crawls up my body.

“Oh, baby girl, I’m going to take good care of you,” he says as he disappears under the covers.

Steve and I lay twisted up in his sheets until we have to get ready to meet the gang at Star Court.

“Baby, we have to get ready” I say, giggling as Steve kisses my shoulders.

“Mmm, but I prefer you just as you are right now.” He says pulling me closer.

“As much as I would love to continue this, we have to go” I say getting up to throw my shorts on and grab one of Steve’s shirts. It’s a little big on me, so I tie it up, barely showing some of my torso. I throw on my converse and sit down in front of Steve.

“That looks way better on you” he says grabbing my hand.

“Sure, that Nancy won’t notice?” I say, worried about becoming the town’s scarlet letter.

“Nah, it will be fine”. Steve says getting up to now get dressed.

We jump in Steve’s car and meet the gang at Star Court Mall. Nancy runs up to give Steve a kiss, but he seems to dodge her lips and pull her into a hug. Nancy frowns with a confused expression. Part of me feels bad, but also content with Steve’s gesture. I hung out with Robin a good deal of the night, but that didn’t stop Steve from flirting with me or teasing me any chance he got. He would place sweet kisses on my head when no one was looking and would watch me in his protective way when Robin and I went off alone. We headed to grab some ice cream, but Steve grabbed my hand.

“Have I told you how fucking good you look tonight?” He whispers in my ear and causes chills to run down my body.

“Maybe a time or two” I say smiling.

“Give me 5 minutes and meet me behind the mall.” He whispers, smirking as he tells the rest of the crew he was heading to the bathroom.

“Hey, Steve! Wait up, I need someone to show me where it is and make sure I don’t run into Billy” I say as I run after Steve. Once we are in the clear, Steve grabs my hand and pulls me out of the back door of the mall. Once we are outside, he pushes me against the concrete wall and begins kissing me.

“Promise to call me every day?” I say into the kiss.

“Promise to always cancel your plans for me?” Steve says picking me up as I wrap my legs around his waist.

“Anything for you, Stevie” I say as I kiss him this time.

Steve takes me home after we eat, and I head to bed. I lay awake a good part of the night dreading the morning. Steve leaves for college and my heart feels like a part of it is leaving with him. He told me he was going to talk to Nancy once he dropped me off and let her know with going to college, it wasn’t going to work out between them. I fell asleep in Steve’s shirt and find comfort in knowing he may finally be mine, but hoping this all wasn’t too good to be true.

#joe keery #steve stranger things #steve harrington #joe keery x reader #steve harrington x reader

[natriae]

My Atsumu headcanons

a/n: some headcanons that have been on my mind of my favorite boy

growing up his dad often worked, so in turn he spent a lot of time with his mom (making him a true momma’s boy)

when him and Osamu were 5 they would hold “magic” shows for their mom. It mainly consisted of Atsumu going behind a wall and Osamu popping out of the other side.

Atsumu suffered from terrible nightmares as a kid,so when Osamu didn’t wake up he would go into his parents room and snuggle in right between him mom and dad. He felt safe there.

As they got older their mom got to busy to watch them all the time so she signed them up for volleyball and they immediately fell in love

The twins loved seeing their mom proud of them at games (especially Atsumu) which lead them to try and practice more tricks together

everyday in elementary school as soon as Atsumu was buckled in the car he wouldn’t shut up about Aran

Momma Miya and Aran’s mom are actually pretty close because of how obsessed the twins are with Aran

through out their first year in highschool Osamu was becoming uninterested in volleyball and preferred preparing dinner with momma miya, but Atsumu would drag him outside to practice sets

Atsumu is not a playboy as everyone fanons him to be

he actually sucks at talking to girls. He gets super in his head about what to say that he comes off as a jerk and feels bad for the rest of the day.

He would always try and help his classmates. He’s definitely a giver, and doesnt often get to be the receiver :(

going along with him being a giver. Thats why he cried when Kita left him food. He was extremely happy that he was thought about what it is like to be on the opposite end

After they lost nationals in their 2nd year. Atsumu became crazy about becoming stronger so much to the point he physically and mentally exhausted himself.

Because he had gotten so sick from exhaustion. he listened to him mom and took a small break from volleyball( obviously still went to practice just not 24/7)

during this break he met a girl who actually stuck around after his failed flirting attempts

and boy did he think he was in love

after a year of dating he had heard for suna and his brother that she cheated on him:(

this broke him. Since she was his first love, and he had given her so much. She was his first kiss, first date, and he lost his virginity to her. For the beginning of this third year he completely lost the light in his eyes.

During this time his nightmares resurfaced this time more realistic, and he caught himself doing the same thing he had done as a kid.

yes, yes He would never admit it but at 17- almost 18 years old- Miya Atsumu and begged his parents at 2 in the morning if he could sleep in between them.

Atsumu gets embarrassed everytime he thinks of it

luckily by nationals he was able to get over her (for the most part) and get ready for university

Surprising, Atsumu was all about grades at uni. He worked his ass off both at school and in the gym.

He had a few girls swoon over him but he wasn’t going to date and of them in fear they would break his heart

Also i see many people fanon that he’s a fuckboy and has a ton of sex but let me make this clear. Atsumu isnt exactly demisexual but he definitely wouldnt want to fuck someone he isn’t in love with or at least sees a future with

thats why i believe he very inexperienced when it comes to sex..so no he didn’t screw around at uni

now back to before uni when Osamu told Atsumu he wasn’t going to continue with volleyball he was really upset but in reality he was heartbroken again (please give him a break)

He yelled and screamed at Osamu and for the first time momma miya had to separate them when they weren’t even physically fighting

He slept on the couch for 3 nights because he refused to sleep in the same bedroom as Osamu.

On the 4th night Atsumu finally knocked on the door and talked out all his feelings with Osamu. And he cried. He cried a lot. Osamu knew better then to make fun of him. Because of this they two made a pack with one another that they would never fight like that again.

anyway enough of him getting hurt. Atsumu’s life turned around after he got recruited for MSBY

He walked into Miya Onigiri ready to tell Osamu the exciting news when he over heard you talking behind the counter to his brother (*wink wink* you see where i’m going with this) “I’m sorry but your brother is honestly-just i-i cant even put it into words. He’s so talented” And yep he tripped into the building.

luckily he did not fall but he managed to create a very dramatic scene.

Embarrassed to say the least he was getting ready to start heading to Osamu again when your Apron got stuck on a table and you tripped right into him spilling about $20 worth of onigiri.

he caught you…in a very odd way (cuz this is realistic) but he caught you

In short you guys started to get very close all because of that very embarrassing meet-cute, and a scolding from Osamu about how you should be more careful.

Finally at 24 Atsumu wasn’t only just a giver but he equally got to be a receiver from you. He wasn’t quite ready for a relationship just yet(and you knew that) but his heart was finally opening up

also on a more random note- one time him and Omi got blackout drunk and bought a bunny. Omi claims it never happened, but the cute, tiny, white bunny in the MSBY dorms says otherwise

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!! #atsumu x reader #atsumu fluff #atsumu miya imagine #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu #atsumu miya

[viscountoflondon]

Que Sera Sera 1.0

A/N: Please do not copy my work, only reblog or like. Tell me what you think, remember I’m sensitive about my shit

GIF: Credit Brunettessource

Warnings: Curse words, alcohol, implied sexual things

You sit by the kitchen watching the group engage in post thanksgiving dinner games, a tradition for your 2 families, Y/L/Ns and the Centineo’s. Ever since Noah and your younger brother became best friends in elementary school they were practically inseparable. So much so that the families had just decided why not throw one big thanksgiving dinner instead of doing the come to our house we’ll host next year thing.

“You okay honey?” Your mom asks

You smile “Yea!”

This would be the first year post your separation with your ex husband. It was strange territory he was your highschool sweetheart and now it sometimes felt like a part of you was missing

“You sure?”

“Yea mom! Just watching Lucas and Noah make asses out of themselves”

“HEY!” Lucas screams “I heard that!” 

You smile “sorry just telling the truth!” 

The night is filled with many events: games, movies, popcorn, second round of thanksgiving dinner, more games, and finally sleep. 

Tomorrow was the Y/L/Ns turn to make breakfast one last big feast before the two families split apart and went their separate ways

You work in the kitchen quietly humming to RnB that played softly in the background

“Morning” you hear Noah’s groggy voice

“Kid?” he groans he hated that nickname “what are you doing up?” 

In a very sleepy tone he asks “The question is what are you doing up? Its 5am and we all went to bed at like 2?” 

You shrug “I am prepping for breakfast if you must know” you answer, you briefly glance at his shirtless body “so what are you doing up?” “Heard some banging had to check on the noise” “I did not bang!” you whisper harshly  “I accidentally dropped the tray sorry for waking you up” 

He nods understandingly “It’s cool, need help?” “Nope! Go back to bed baby boy” 

He groans and throws up the peace sign, too tired to argue with you. You watch as his muscular figure disappears around the corner. 

Unknown: I miss you 

You roll your eyes, the real reason you were up at 5am making breakfast had nothing to do with you prepping but with your ex husband pestering you non-stop. So much that you were losing sleep. You didn’t want to tell anyone that he had started stalking you and you were positive he was standing across the street watching you in the kitchen. At least in the house full of people you felt safe.

Actually the reason you had dropped the pan was because you received the text 

Unknown: You look so beautiful 

It sent shivers down your spine freezing you in spot and ultimately causing you to drop the baking tray. 

You couldn't’ sleep after that expecting him to pop up in your room and ultimately cause harm to you like he had threatened so much. Even the restraining orders weren’t deterring him, you knew how this story ended and you contemplated packing and moving across the country so many times but then you would have to explain why and you just didn’t know how. You were an adult like your father preached. You have to learn to manage your own problems so you are doing your best. 

When morning comes and everyone is happily feeding themselves breakfast or left overs you’re brought back to reality when Noah plops down next to you

“Omg Noah! Almost spilled my coffee!” you complain wiping the droplets of coffee that were rolling down your cup

“Sleep well sleeping beauty?” he asks 

You roll your eyes “fuck off kid”

“Awww, i guess that's a no”  he fake pouts before taking a bite of the bacon

“Honestly kid, what are you doing here?’

“First of all stop calling me kid, and also you were looking like a sad puppy in the corner and your cousin asked me to come check on you” he motions to Lizzie

“I was not” you argue

“You were” he counters

You huff “I’m fine so you can go now”

“Orrrr”

“Or nothing” you were nursing 

“Orrr I can stay here and bug you he grinned showing all his teeth

“Okay whatever” you reach over his plate and grab a piece of bacon 

He pulls his plate away “Hey get your own!” 

You shrug “I cooked i have dibs on everyone’s plate” 

He rolls his eyes “fair enough”

“Y/N did you cut the fruit?” your dad calls to you from the kitchen “Oh yea its in the fridge hold on” you stand up and walk towards the kitchen leaving Noah where he sat

At the end of the weekend both families say their goodbye well Lucas and Noah were on a plane to NYC while the rest of you remained in California.

Noah being a semi famous actor now took Lucas with him everywhere, he gave Lucas the title of assistant manager. They would argue a lot because Lucas was in charge of his schedule and if he had to be in NYC in the morning and Miami by the afternoon thats just what he had to do. You’ve rolled your eyes at the many arguments you had to settle between them offering suggestions for Lucas to be less involved in Noah’s schedule and more involved in the background which of course they refused. Boys what can you say? 

The next holiday is Christmas, something you really used to enjoy but not so much now that you were in this predicament with your ex. 

“Y/N what is going on?” Lucas looks around your home “Are you not decorating for Christmas or what?” he asks as him and his friends occupy your living space

You shrug and look around “Oh I’ve just been busy Lucas didn’t have the energy”

“Wow so you’ve gotten lazy” he teases

You groan “Fuck off Lucas” 

You turn to look and watch as Noah silently observes you, he always did that just watched you from afar. It wasn’t creepy just Noah being Noah. 

“What’s up kid got a smart remark too?” you ask. He throws his hands up. For some odd reason he felt like the reason you provided was an excuse but he didn’t want to push it as he could see the bags under your eyes. He knew from Lucas that the divorce from your ex was taking a toll on you. Lucas had expressed concerns but never really dove into details just saying he wished you would snap out of it and forget all about your ex. 

“I need help with Sarah’s (Lucas girlfriend) gift” the conversation moves on and just like that the mood switches and everything is back to being light and joyful 

Another year, another year filled with you’re hoping this time more joy and spontaneity. You sigh and look down at your phone, it was new years eve 5PM if you were going to have fun you needed to leave now. Because LA traffic was not to be played around with, all that was pending was for it to get darker and that would be it! Grid lock for hours. It kind of sucked no one was available to hang out. Lucas was out of state with Sarah, your cousins were out with their husbands/boyfriends, you weren’t going to third wheel your parents, you didn’t want to go out but you had no choice as your friends had egged you on. Told you you had to get out of the house and live life, as they said,  they knew what was happening they were worried about you but they had lives too.  

You guys go downtown, you dress in your best attire, the best you could muster up anyway. You did a few club hopping until your final destination, the club where “Bitter Moon” an upcoming pop rock band in LA, were playing. 

The space is so packed you can barely move around, you manage to get drinks and sing to the songs from their EP and some of the popular songs they covered with their own spin. 

On your way back from the bathroom, you spot someone that looks like Noah ahead of you and think that it couldn’t possibly be him but decide to call his name anyway “NOAH you scream his name making him turn around 

He smiles when he sees you making his way towards you leaving the circle of friends he was hanging out with.  “HEEYYY, HAPPY NEW YEAR” He gives you a side hug 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE KID?” He rolls his eyes “RIGHT SORRY NOAH” you two had made a deal not too long ago that you would stop calling him ‘kid’

He chuckles leaning down to speak in your ear “I am here for Bitter Moon, my friend plays the drums” 

“Oh cool! Not throwing a party?” you reference last years New Years events

He makes a face “HELL NO!” You giggle, the cops were called, it was a mess too many people had showed up, things were stolen etc etc.

“Where's your crew?” He asks  

“Oh uh”  you stand on your tip toes and shrug after your failure to locate them, “they are around somewhere” you point towards the neon sign “over there” 

He nods drinking his beer

A popular song comes on you lose yourself in the moment singing a long 

“AYYEEE look at you!”  You stop and blush looking away “AYYEEE KEEP GOING!”  he urges

You shake your head vigorously “No it's embarrassing” 

“Why?” he mouths to you singing along as well. You shake your head feeling bashful and turn to face the band. He doesn’t push, instead he bops his head to the beat. 

The song ends and the band takes a 10 minute break 

“I should go back” you speak “girls are probably wondering where I am” you say as you pull out your phone “Oh actually they left, going to the next club ‘Inferno’” you chuckle as you read the group text “so i need to catch up with them” 

“Orrrr” he begins to bargain  “you can stay, with me” he smiles at you

“Oh well i didn't wanna ruin your chances of getting some tonight” He makes a face. You motion with your head and he follows the direction of the group he was with earlier “Those girls are giving me the death glares” 

He scoffs “Fuck them i dont know them!” 

“Still I should really” you step away from him slowly

He grabs your hand pulling you closer “STAY!” he nods excitedly trying to convince you  “you should really stay and get some more drinks! And enjoy your new years!” he speaks with high energy 

“Okay okay okay” 

He pulls his arm towards him “Yesss! what are you drinking?”  

“Uh I was drinking white claw”

“One white claw coming right up don’t move” 

You nod and watch as he walks away you look around and boy if looks could kill they would. You knew Noah was getting more famous so of course the groupies were trying to shoot their shot and it's not like you were of any competition if they only knew you were a family friend. 

He doesn’t stay gone for a long time he returns when the band starts the next set. 

“They only had watermelon, yuzu and blood orange I got you the watermelon couldn’t get your favorite blackberry” 

“Oh that's okay thanks ki...Noah” 

He smirks as he turns to face the band, before you know it you are smooshed up against Noah. You guess its because they let more people in it was nearing midnight after all 

“Oh shit. Sorry” you say as you spill white claw on him “Sorry sorry” you reach in your purse to grab napkins

“Its cool its cool, don’t worry about it” 

“I’ll foot the dry cleaners bill” You offer y

“Will you relax It’s cool” 

“Okay” you turn around slowly and get lost in the music again 

He stands behind you and at some point snakes his arms around your stomach planting you against him so you wouldn’t get shoved around.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen boys and girls, in one minute we will be ringing in the new year and I want you to look to your left look to your right and back to your left find someone to plant a juicy fat kiss for your favorite band BITTTERRR MOOOON” the crowd goes wild you can't help but giggle. 

The minute comes to an end “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Confetti drops from the ceiling along with streamers and glitter 

You blow hard on the noise marker and turn to face Noah “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”  You scream as Auld Lang Syne plays loudly in the background

“Come here”  you read his lips right before they connect with yours (think about tabilb when Peter grabs Lara Jean and kisses her during Lacrosse practice)

“MMM!” It takes you by surprise, he isn't rough with it, in fact he kisses you gently, his arm anchoring you against his body, your hands move to his shoulders slightly pushing him away. It was brief roughly 5 seconds kiss or maybe longer or shorter, your eyes widen when he pulls away 

“Wha.. Wha.. What was that?!” you ask 

He shrugs “New years kiss” taking another sip of his beer 

You shake your head “We shouldn’t have” god if Lucas found out he would kill you “Oh come on its new years!”

You go to take a step back but you can't. Noah dips down for another kiss this time his other hand holds your head in place so no leaning back for you.This time instead of one long kiss its a burst of short interval kisses. And for a brief moment you let yourself get lost in the sensation, so much so when he licks your bottom lip you don’t fight it instead you let him have access to your mouth. Damn his lips are soft, so soft. When he pulls away you find yourself raising up chasing his lips. 

He smirks hiding his smile when you finally open your eyes

“Umm”  you blush tucking the hair behind your ear. What a way to start new years that's for sure. The band continues to play music and you two say nothing else to each other instead this time he rocks your body to the music.After an hour he suggests that you two leave 

“Oh what about your friends?” you ask 

He chuckles “I’ve been with you for the past 3 hours I think they’ll be alright” 

You nod as he grabs your hand pulling you out. You two get in an uber and he gives the driver his address. What was happening? Why did it feel like you were in a movie  watching yourself? When you turn to look at Noah, he sat nonchalantly skimming his social media pages. 

‘What do I do? Am I really gonna hook up with my younger brothers best friend?’ you think to yourself You begin to panic you had to find a way out of this. This wasn’t cool there's a code of ethics right? You couldn’t do this

When you arrive at his place you think to stop things right then and there say you should go home that it was all a mistake but its like your body is on autopilot and instead you follow him towards his door and inside his place. You’ve been here many times but now it felt foreign, too intimate in fact. 

He sighs when he sees your expression, a sort of  deer in headlights “look we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But we are both drunk. My feet hurt and I’m sure yours do too” motioning to your high heels.

You look down and play with your necklace “Right” 

He walks past you and towards the kitchen and looks in the fridge. I got left over pizza, ice cream, frozen corn dogs, fruit salad, some pre-made meals, water kombucha, beer, wine, chips, cookies, salad mix, cheese, and dressing. 

You turn to face him slowly after you text your friends letting them know you were safe

“Oh umm wine please” you slowly walk up to him. 

“Pizza okay?” he was too drunk to wait for the frozen corn dogs to cook in the oven  

“Yea!” You say placing your bag on the counter

“Don’t need to look like you’ve seen a ghost” he chuckles placing the pizza in the toaster oven 

“Sorry” you blush as he turns to face you “just a little” you swallow “taken aback”  

“Come on Y/N you know I’ve had  a crush on you ever since.....shit I can’t even remember” 

“Yea but I thought...” 

He interrupts you “Thought what?”  he straightens up and walks towards you pushing you against the counter, the height difference all of a sudden intimidates you. You who said you could fight him no matter what. 1 on 1 you could take him down.  

You can’t help but feel your face flush “That it was like a highschool thing like you grew out of it” you gesture with your hands

“Well” he clears his throat and cages you in with his arms “I haven’t”  he steps back a little so he could lean on them making you two eye level. “In fact it’s gotten stronger”

Your eyes widen and a meak “oh” escapes your lips 

“So right here right now I’m telling you I want you” he declares  

You go to say something but there are no words that you can find this is all too much.  

He straightens up and looks down at you “What do you say baby?”  he leans in and kisses your lips this time there's no hesitation from you in fact your arms immediately wrap themselves around his neck. He lifts you up placing you on the cool counter it startles you making you pull away you can’t help but giggle 

He chuckles softly “What is it?”  he asks stepping in between your legs 

“I” you giggle “I don’t even know what to say” because what do you say to something like this?!

He pushes the hair away from your face “then show me” 

You smile and pull him down for another kiss this time it's deeper, filled with the same desire he had for you, a deep moan rumbles from him as he pulls you closer, your legs naturally wrapping themselves around him. You two tease each other biting lips pulling hair but neither of you cross that boundary only because the toaster oven dings putting a pause to your make out session. 

Noah quickly removes the slices placing them on a plate

You cover your face in disbelief and chuckle

“What is it? Why do you keep laughing?” he asks amused taking a bite of his pizza 

“Lucas is gonna kill us” 

He shrugs, “Let me deal with him,” he says. 

This was new territory for you, it had been a long time since you were in the company of a man you most certainly didn’t think the next one would be Noah. You both agree you both needed to be sober before you ventured into the next step. However that didn’t stop the heated make out sessions nor the waking up in bed half naked the next day. 

#noah centineo fan fiction #noah centineo #peter kavinsky fan fiction #peter kavinsky fiction #covinsky #noah centenio #centineo #noah centineo imagine #noahcentineoedit #noah centineo icons #noah centineo x reader #fan fic writing #fan fiction #imagine

[smrsxx]

Can i have an angst imagine with number 72 marco bezzecchi? <3 luv your writting.

Stay Safe For Me | Marco Bezzecchi x Female Reader

7 2 . ' ' Letting you go was the hardest thing I've ever had to do . ' '

Summary : He thought he knew everything about her , until she disappeared without telling him .

Trigger Warnings : mentions of past verbal , emotional and physical abuse , alcoholism and drug use , self - harm , a lot of tears and angsty feelings , but do not worry because there is going to be fluff in the end .

! ! ! Please read this Imagine if you are only 18 + and with your own permission , because it contains some things that a lot of people find disturbing . If you struggle with anything of the above , please feel free to send me a message , because I know how it is . I am here for you all and I want you to know that I support you . ! ! !

English is not my first language , so if you spot a mistake , please just bare with me .

P . S . I am so thankful for this request , because it gave me the opportunity to express the feelings that I have been holding back for so many years now . Also , it gave me the chance to write something about Marco , because I personally believe that there are not enough Imagines about him out there or any at all .

I poured my entire heart on this - 13.278 words : (

I hope you enjoy < 3

______________________________________________________________

Thursday , 12 November 2015

Today is Marko's 17 birthday . He decided against the idea of a " Sweet 17 Birthday Party " although his mother always reminded him from a very young age and since he was a little boy the same thing .

" You turn 17 only once in your entire lifetime . "

In which he always responded to her with the same answer every year.

" It's okay mom . Besides that , I don't want a birthday party . I just want to spend the day with the people I love . "

The people he loves . . . His parents and his close friends . . . Her . . .

Y/N was something else .

She was his best friend since they were both toddlers . They grew up together . They did everything together . They went to the same elementary , middle school and now high school . They were always together . Marko and Y/N , Y/N and Marko . Even if they fought a lot of times , in the end of the day they would always apologize to each other and go for a nice walk while eating ice cream . He would always have her back in everything and she would always support him in every stupid decision that he took even if it was dangerous for the both of them . They were in this life together . Every Friday after school they would always go in his house for dinner and then , they would watch all the Jackass movies all over again . Sometimes when she feel asleep over at his house , they would wake up early in the morning to watch SpongeBob SquarePants and the spend their Saturday going in rides with his bike , eating , playing , talking and laughing non stop . They knew everything about each other . They were inseparable and they completed each other .

He jumped out of his thoughts when he heard the familiar notification tone coming from his phone .

He was sure it was her . It had to be her . Besides , who else could it be on a Thursday morning ?

" Happy Birthday to the best friend ever . I want you to know that I'm so proud of you and I love you so freaking much that I would die for you . I wish you the most Happy Birthday and now I want you to come down because I have a present for you . " Y/N had just sended to him .

He open his bedroom door and streamed downstairs to his front door, just to open it and see her standing outside - with her glasses that he made fan of because he loved them so much on her - with a big gift bag on her hands .

' ' I see that you've got my text . Happy - ' ' She didn't get to finish her sentence , when his arms wrapped around her in a tight and warm hug .

' ' Thank you so much Y/N , you didn't have too . ' ' He said to her while hugging her .

' ' Marco what are you even doing outside in the cold with just your pyjamas . If you catch a cold I swear to God I - Oh Hello Y/N come inside honey . ' ' Marco's mother said from the doorway .

Both of them went inside for Marko to get ready and then to open his gift .

' ' What did you got me ? I'm kinda of anxious . ' ' He said to her .

' ' Open and find out . ' ' She answered to him while smiling .

He started to unwrap his gift and when he finally understood what she got him he stopped and pulled her in the most tight hug ever .

' ' I can't believe that you got me a Valentino Rossi helmet . Thank you so much . ' ' He said to her with the biggest smile on his face .

' ' You are welcome . I love you . ' ' She said to him and with that his heart started beating faster and his head felt heavy .

' ' I can't wait for your birthday in December . ' ' He said to her and with that they made their way to school .

And indeed he waited until the 23st of December Y/N's 15th birthday. He knew he couldn't go to her house . Her father was kinda weird because Marco was 2 years older than her . Although Y/N's and Marco's mom decided to throw a small birthday party in the near cafeteria that the teenagers loved to hang out with their close friends.

But little did they know that after that everything gonna go downfall .

_____

Saturday , 23 December 2017 ( 2 years later )

After finishing high school , Marco focused on his career as a Moto 3 Junior World Championship . At first he didn'y really noticed that him and Y/N throughout these 2 years had slowly separated from each other . He thought that because of his tight schedule and her being in her senior of high school, they just couldn't see each other very often.

Even if Marco wished her a ' ' Sweet 17 Happy Birthday ' ' the situation remained the same until Easter Break .

' ' So how's racing ? ' ' Y/N asked him while they were walking .

' ' It's going so good . It's great actually . I think I might have chances to move to Moto 2 . ' ' He said to her with a smile .

' ' You did it . Your dream came true . I am so proud and happy for you. I wish I could change things to see you more but with the school and the studying for the final exams it's really hard . ' ' She said to him with sad eyes .

He instantly felt bad and he hugged her hoping that it would make her feel better .

~Don't change for me

I like you just the way that you are now

Don't pray for me

I did this on my own and I got this far now~

_____

June 2018 ( 5 month's later )

They didn't spoke to each other for over 4 months . Everyone thought that they had a huge fight and that they stopped being friends , some other wanted desperately to ask and some other who knew better acted like they didn't care . They kept their mouths shut .

Marco was able to go up to Moto 2 and join the Red Bull KTM Tech 3 team while Y/N had managed to get accepted to her dream university in Rome .

~And I'll get higher with it

My thoughts are lighter with it

Just to let you know I did it

Just to let you know I live it~

_____

September 2018 ( 4 months later )

Marco was able to go back to Rimini to see his family and his friends . Mostly he wanted to go back home becuase he owns an apology to Y/N . After his last race he made it to the 3rd place in the championship standings and he wanted to inform Y/N that he will be back for one week to celebrate .

But when he opened up his phone and checked his messages , he saw that Y/N and him had last exchanged messages almost 3 months ago .

What made him thought to think of the worst possible things was the last message to him 2 months ago .

"Hey I know that you are busy with all this racing stuff but I just wanted you to know that I'll move to Rome in late September . Remember that everything you can imagine is real . I love you Marko."

~Stay safe for me

I see the inner you and it hurts to let go

Don't wait for me ( don't wait for me )

I'm getting on a plane and I won't be back soon~

_____

He responded late to her last message demanding an explanation.

"Please just answer me when you're gonna come back home. I'm scared for you right now. " He texted her and with that he immediately left to go to the airport.

_____

"Mom just please answer to my questions. " He shouted. The whole house turns cold. His mother is holding back her tears while looking down .

"I swear if you don't answer me if she's okay I'm gonna go over to her house. "

When his mother didn't responded to him for onse more he scoffed and went to leave the kitchen.

Before he could make it to the front door his mother had stopped him right on his tracks with only one sentence.

"Her mother sent her away after she found out that she was self-harming. She was abused by her father. An alcoholic. "

And for a couple of seconds all he could hear was a white noise...

All he could see was a dark rook with her crying quietly in it...

It's all making sense .

_____

He was laying in his bed with his eyes closed but he wasn't sleeping.

He was wide awake.

All kinds off thoughts turned around in his head making him feel dizzy.

He went back to all their memories together.

That's why he never went in her house.

That's why she never went on calls with him when she was at her house.

That's why she never sented him voice messages or videos.

That's why she was against alcohol and drugs.

That why she wanted to leave her home.

He wanted to scream until his throat hurt.

Why didn't he recognized the signs?

Why didn't he connect the dots?

Why didn't she asked for help?

What didn't he confessed his love for her?

He always promised her that he would be by her side forever.

Why?

When he asked his mother if he should go now or in a couple of days to find her , his mom said that he shouldn't go at all.

"Don't go. She wouldn't want you to lose an important race. Let's leave her alone for some time. She needs to fell free and safe. "

With that Marco murmured something under his breath and went to bed to sleep.

He was proud of her for leaving but he knew that she was alone and needed someone.

Marco cried that night.

~And I'll get higher with it

My thoughts are lighter with it

Just to let you know I did it

Just to let you know I live it~

_____

January 2019 ( present )

Marko was standing outside of her door in her complex apartment in Rome.

Besides him there was sitting quietly a grey female Pittbull waiting for him to do something.

The dog let out a small bark letting her owner know that she was bored and that he needed to make a move.

Marco looked at his dog and he petted her in the head before he took out the spare key that Y/N's mother gave to him.

Things have gotten pretty bad these last 4 months. Y/N was struggling emotionally and Marco was missing her more than anything.

He didn't have any more patience and he decided to take the matter in his own hands by communicating with her mother.

Right now he was standing in the middle of her small but cozy apartment and he could tell by the scattered books everywhere in the place that she lived in here.

He knew that she wouldn't mind him being here.

He took of his shoes and he searched for her.

She wasn't in the kitchen. She was certainly not in leaving room. She must be in her bedroom sleeping. He thought to himself walking to the only room in the house except of the bathroom.

And there she was.

Asleep.

He felt like he was invading her privacy so he went back to her leaving room to sit on the couch.

Pass the time by reading some of her books.

_____

She woke up feeling something really close to her face.

Something weird sniffing her.

She reached her right hand to grab her glasses by the nightstand.

A grey happy Pittbull was on top of her bed looking at her and waging her tail.

She immediately knew that Marco was here.

_____

Tears started forming their way in her eyes while she petted the sweet dog on the head.

She got up walking quietly towards her leaving room , when she came across him sitting on her couch reading on of her books.

He was faster than her. Always. He looked up from the book and locked gazes with her.

The tears finally escaped her eyes and before she knew it , he trapped her in his hug.

That tight and warm hug of his that she couldn't get enough of .

' ' Jump . ' ' Marco said quietly to her and when she did it he went back to the couch with her.

She was crying softly on his solder while he was holding her like he would never see her again.

Like this was their last time.

He took some deep breaths trying to remember her scent that he had forgotten.

"Can I convince you to stay?" She asked him still hugging him.

"Letting you go was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. "

"I'm not leaving you ever again. " He said to her.

Marco grabbed Y/N's face with his palms and he looked at her closely.

God how much he loved her. He loved everything about her. Her glasses. Her eyes , her nose ... her lips ... her lips ...

And then he kissed her softly. Finally feeling alive again.

She kissed him back and after so many years of hidden pain and suffering , she felt like she could breathe again.

~And I'll get higher with it

My thoughts are lighter with it

Just to let you know I did it

Just to let you know I live it~

_____

Tags : @unimportantbabymilksharkte

#moto gp fanfiction #moto gp imagines #moto gp x reader #moto gp x you #marco bezzecchi fanfiction #marco bezzecchi imagines #marco bezzecchi x reader #marco bezzecchi x you

[hungerpunch]

happy birthday, dad ♡

that's my dad in his 20s. fro, mustache, flare jeans, red convertible. it's not a mustang, i think it's a dodge challenger, but, well, i can't ask him anymore. i know he lost the car when a semi-truck merged into him on the highway. the impact shattered all the windows and totaled the car.

the first time i saw this picture i was a little kid and it delighted me so much because it was so different from the dad i knew--shorn curls, suits and ties for the office, wrist watch, sensible honda accord.

my dad was working on a case for the supreme court, once. like, the federal supreme court of the united states. i was midway through elementary school at the time. because of the enormity and importance of the case, he worked on it round the clock. a few times he would have his junior associates to our house for dinner so they could keep working on it late into the night. i got familiar with a few of them. one in particular was very cool to me--danny, a younger guy, good vibes. i could tell he and my dad had a friendly rapport and liked working together.

anyway they were taking a break to eat one night and i was flouncing around, being a nuisance probably, asking danny questions and making fun of my dad with him. it was good-natured. he was laughing, enjoying being razzed. and i decided it would be a great time to show danny this photo.

danny? loved the photo. could not stop laughing in disbelief. my dad? went along with it in the moment but then hid the photo away and i never saw it again. he didn't scold me but i knew he wasn't happy that i'd shown a colleague. i brought it up frequently over the years and he would pretend he didn't know what happened to it.

my sister sent me a picture of it this morning, captioned: "I FUCKING FOUND IT!!!!!!!!" she's at my mom's house, going through some of his things we're trying to get out of storage, and she found it. i laughed and cried, seeing it again for the first time since i was like, 10 years old.

i think this kid perched on the convertible that he worked so hard to buy, grown out curls, band tee shirt, was always the heart of my dad. i could always feel it in him. some kind of artist, some kind of whimsy, someone marveled by the world around us. stuffed into a corporate job that took him away from his family 80 hours a week. i don't know who my dad was at work. by all accounts, everyone in any office that he worked in loved him. but when he was with the family, with us, that's who he was. that kid up there. and i miss him dearly. he would have been 66 today.

#grief diaries

[cobrakatharsis]

ck secret santa 2022!!

my @cksecretsanta22 gift for @secondclassfangirl !! some lawrusso fluff for ya featuring domesticity, baking, johnny having a healthy sprinkling of emotional issues about the holidays, and the euphoria of suddenly realising you have a family. i hope you like it!! 🤍

ao3 mirror

Johnny hates winter.

He’s lived in the Valley his whole life, sure, so winter isn’t much - a mild chill, putting on a slightly thicker jacket or just being a little cold in one of his usuals - but it’s the principle of it.

Daniel always complains about winter too, but it’s Cali winters he hates. He talks about winter on the East coast constantly, about snow and real thick jackets and numb fingers and runny red noses. He’s got countless stories from his first sixteen years, about swiping plastic trays from the cafeteria at school to go sledding in big groups, or how he used to always get in trouble for throwing snowballs too hard at his cousins, or all the stuff he used to do with his parents and later just his mom. His stories from since he moved are less dense, but still very much there, recounting every holiday season he’s spent back in New Jersey - always visiting, with so many damn family members to visit - and so many traditions to uphold. Holiday traditions.

They’re abstract to Johnny.

His Decembers have really always just been another month.

Sid’s house was always decorated December 1st, all tinsel anywhere tinsel could be put and pinecones and green and red and the huge awful fireplace in the drawing room being the center of attention. A huge obnoxious wreath on the door and a decked-out tree even bigger than the man himself. At least one big stupid dinner with all of Sid’s big stupid friends. Johnny got presents on Christmas morning before he was sort of told to clear off and play with his new stuff so Sid and Laura could be alone for the day, but none of it ever felt like routine or tradition. It felt like stuff that just happened. Like being in a play in elementary school, being told what scene was next between each one because they were all dumb kids who couldn’t actually be trusted to know or remember. He was just going where he was supposed to be, no real idea or care what was coming next.

His holidays have always been like that since, although perhaps a little closer to the ones he’d shared with his mother, pre-Sid. No tree, no decorations, no dinners. Just observing the holidays through the actions of others in decorated shop windows and stuff being sold that they couldn’t afford. A treat, perhaps, on December 25th, as the one real mark of a “special” time of year, but ultimately letting it pass by like something on the other side of a window.

With Daniel and all of his traditions, such a thing is impossible.

Johnny wakes up on the 1st of December, some time nearer noon than Daniel seems to know how to get, to a scent he doesn’t recognise filling the pleasantly warm house. Venturing to the kitchen, half-asleep in his boxers and a threadbare t-shirt, reveals it as cookies - trays and trays of them, little roundish sugar cookie looking things doused in white icing and Christmas-coloured sprinkles.

“Christmas cookies,” Daniel clarifies, briefly glancing up and smiling when he notices Johnny stood watching. “They’re Italian.”

Johnny hums and approaches, swipes one up from the tray nearest him and eats it immediately. It’s…almond-y, soft like cake, still kinda warm. It’s good.

“Yeah?” he asks, still chewing. “What makes ‘em Italian?”

Maybe it’s the effect of the Christmas season that Daniel doesn’t admonish him - doesn’t even give him A Look - for his thievery. Or maybe he’s just finally used to it, but either way he simply keeps attending to the tray of cookies he’s still icing with a steady, experienced hand.

“The same thing that ties anyone and anything to a nationality.”

Johnny hums, wrinkling his nose briefly in consideration as he watches Daniel work. “Can’t be Italian if they were made in America.”

“I was made in America, Johnny.”

“Yeah, but—what, these cookies got a bloodline?”

Daniel laughs then - that beautiful, sincere laugh like Johnny amuses him now instead of just pissing him off, though Johnny’s sure he still does that plenty - and shakes his head.

“Just come help me ice these.”

Obediently, Johnny walks over, but wrinkles his nose again when he’s handed the weird, unwieldy plastic bag full of icing that tries to flip right out of his grasp and promptly explodes a glob of icing onto the counter when he grips it hard to compensate.

“I’ve never iced cookies before,” he decides to admit before he fucks it up entirely. Daniel’s putting his oven gloves on with his back to Johnny - the cute red tartan pair Amanda got him.

“What, you never helped your mom when you were a kid?” he asks, distracted.

“My mom didn’t bake, LaRusso.”

Any other time, Johnny’s sure that sentence and bitter tone would earn him one of those godawful looks from Daniel, and follow-up questions. Daniel’s always trying to learn more about Johnny’s childhood where he can, but as it is he’s thoroughly engaged getting yet another tray of cookies out of the oven and safely onto the overcrowded counter.

“Jesus. Are you baking for the whole of California?” Johnny asks, grateful for the out. Daniel grits his teeth in playful bashfulness.

“No, just half of New Jersey. I’m sending these to family,” he says, gesturing to a few of the completed trays. “…And the kids are all getting some. And Amanda, Chozen, Jessica…”

Johnny huffs a laugh as a smile grows on Daniel’s face. “Yeah, alright, my mistake.”

Daniel leans over and shoves Johnny in the shoulder to direct him back to the tray of uniced cookies in front of him. “Look, I’m not seein’ much icing goin’ on over there. You gotta do it before they get too cool or—“

“Okay, okay!”

They don’t turn out good. Johnny’s icing is a disaster, all lumpy and uneven, some drowned and some barely grazed - and his sprinkle application goes about as well, but when he says he’s done Daniel comes over and looks at them and smiles like the sun, all eye crinkles and dimples, and suddenly Johnny forgets about everything his childhood was filled with instead of baking as Daniel kisses him hard on the cheek.

They keep a few of that batch, shared between the two of them and eaten right there in the kitchen by the counter, stood all close together and giggling like they’re doing something sneaky. Daniel insists they’re not as good as the ones he used to make with his Ma, even promises that he’ll ask Lucille to send some so that Johnny can have some “real” ones, but Johnny tells him honestly that they’re good. Daniel credits Johnny’s icing and decorating technique with making them special, so the rest of that batch - “our batch”, Daniel calls them - are divvied up into cute, expensive glass tupperware containers - with matching lids! - to go to Amanda, Sam, Anthony, Robby, and Miguel.

Their family, Johnny realises. They made cookies for their family.

“I’ve never done that before,” he mumbles.

“Done what?” Daniel asks, clicking the lid into place on Sam’s container. It’s pink, with little flowers on it, like a little girl’s lunchbox. Miguel’s and Robby’s, piled on the side, have blue splotches of paint and little cartoon lions respectively. Amanda and Anthony’s are next up - leaves and cartoon game controllers. Johnny remembers buying them all, some time soon after he and Daniel had moved in together. Picking which one from the store’s selection fit each person.

“I don’t know,” Johnny says, suddenly a little overwhelmed by the big feeling taking root in his chest. “I was talkin’ about the cookies again, but…All of this.”

It doesn’t really make sense. Too disjointed to really be a thought, but Daniel looks up at Johnny like he understands. Bumps their shoulders together.

“I’ll take more of your firsts,” he says. Johnny snorts.

“I was being wholesome for once!”

“You were, you were,” Daniel grins, “But I mean it. We’ll do more stuff. Got the whole of December to go.” He neatly clicks the lid onto Anthony’s box of cookies and piles it on top of Sam’s. “We go ice skating on the second Saturday.”

“Never done that either.”

“It’s a learning curve.”

“Always is.”

Daniel smiles. Amanda’s box joins the pile atop Anthony’s, and finally Daniel’s hands settle on Johnny’s waist, thumbs running gently back and forth over the worn fabric of his t-shirt. “I’ll teach you,” he promises. “And then when we go next year, you’ll be a pro.”

And for the first time in his life, Johnny’s looking forward to the rest of the holidays. Looking forward to next year’s.

“You’re helping me bake next year too.”

“That mean I have to get up early?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh.”

Johnny can’t wait.

#cksecretsanta22 #lawrusso #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #elijah writes #i’m sorry this took a lil while to get out but i really hope it’s okay!!

[storiesofsvu]

A Redemption Earned Ch 21

Heather Dunbar x fem!reader Warnings: minor mentions of Heather's past chaos.

You jogged up the stairs to Heather’s front door, letting yourself in, shaking the misting of snow off your coat. You’d exchanged keys back before Christmas to make it easier to come and go between houses considering Heather might end up working odd hours, or if she wanted to have dinner ready and waiting by the time you got home to your own place. You hung your coat up, stepped out of your boots and left your bag on the entrance table, swiping your phone and tucking it in the back pocket of your jeans. You could hear the television playing softly and figured Heather was in the living room despite the lack of light coming from that direction you headed that way anyways. A small lamp was on in the corner, illuminating a soft glow around the room, your head tilted in confusion when you found Heather sitting on the floor in front of the couch. A couple of small piles of photo albums surrounding her along with a couple of larger cardboard boxes, papers scattered around covering the floor. You weren’t totally sure as her back was to you, but you were almost certain she was crying.

“Heat?” You greeted softly and she nearly jumped. Her hand darting up to wipe at her eyes as she sniffled, glancing at her watch.

“Fuck, I didn’t realize it was so late already.” She started to gather up a couple of the papers as you crossed the room, sinking to the ground beside her.

“What is all this?” You asked, leaning in to press a kiss to the side of her head as your eyes scanned a couple of the papers. It looked like art projects, colouring, things you’d much more expected to find at your house rather than hers.

“The kids…” she sniffled again, letting out a weary sigh, “I went looking for something to add to the wall,” she gestured to the bare wall behind the couch where she’d hung up the art you’d made all those months ago, “even with your painting it’s a little bare in here. I got to thinking about putting up some stuff like you said, make it more like someone actually lives here rather than a show home.” Her eyes focussed on the television for a moment, a small smile creeping onto her cheeks and when you followed her gaze you realized it must’ve been old family videos, a VCR even hooked up to it. “I was looking for a specific photo frame, but I found all this instead…”

“I didn’t realize Becca did ballet.” You commented and she let out a watery laugh.

“She certainly didn’t want to. And don’t ever let her know you’ve seen this, she’ll kill me.”

“You just having a nostalgia mom moment?” You asked, your fingers softly smoothing her hair behind her ear and she let out a weary sigh, her gaze dropping to her lap. She reached out, picking up a photo from a Father’s Day dinner when the kids had been in elementary school and a tear managed to sneak its way out of her eye, running down her cheek. She wasn’t in the picture, and naturally it wasn’t because she took it, it was because she hadn’t been there.

“More like realizing just how much I missed out on.” She placed the picture back into the shoebox it belonged in, looking back up to the tv, “ballet was one of the very first things we actually fought about. My mother made me take it, to help with the discipline and control, I enrolled Becca for the same reasons. At first she wanted to go all the time, she wanted to keep dancing, she loved it. My mother showed her pictures and videos from when I was her age and it was something Becca wanted to do to be like me.”

“That’s adorable.” You smiled, your hand squeezing at hers softly and she let out a little laugh, shaking her head.

“Rob taped this. Because I couldn’t make it to the recital. Becca came home all excited with her medal, wanting to show me how well she’d danced and I couldn’t be bothered to look up from my paperwork. Some mom I was. She told us she wanted to quit dance the next week, I told her no, we’d paid in full for the year. So every Saturday she would get dressed like she was going and Rob would take her for ice cream instead. That was like, the beginning of the end…”

“And you two have found new ground and started over, remember?” You nudged at her gently with your elbow and she looked over at you.

“Yeah. I know she forgives me for most of it now but looking back at some of this stuff is helping me realize just how absent I was, how much of a parent I could have been to them then. And I wish I had.”

“And that’s growth.” You smiled softly, happiness floating through you when she returned the smile, leaning in to kiss you.

“Thank you.”

“You look like you’ve been at this for a while.” You gestured around the room and Heather laughed, nodding.

“I took a half day, there wasn’t much going on at the firm.”

“You eat lunch?” You raised a brow and Heather nearly rolled her eyes at just how well you knew her and her bad habits.

“No.” She admitted and you pressed a kiss to the top of her head as you stood.

“You stay here, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Heather watched you leave the room, a smile still on her face, there were days she still couldn’t believe just how lucky she was. To not only have gotten this second chance, but to have her family by her side, and to have found someone who was able to look past her failures and do nothing but support her future. She shifted forward, stopping the ballet tape and ejecting it from the VCR, while the images of little Becca dancing her heart out did bring her joy, it also brought a lot of other conflicting emotions with it, and she’d hit her limit for that today. Her fingers shifted through the other tapes, a handful of them unmarked, one simply labelled, ‘birthdays’, figuring that was a safe bet she popped it into the player and hit play before leaning back on the couch.

It clearly wasn’t in any kind of chronological order, the first one that popped up was Becca’s sixteenth, a party that while she had appreciated it, she thought everything about it was over the top. Which was pretty natural for Becca once she’d hit her pre-teen era. Heather was honestly glad that she’d resented her family’s wealth so much, branching out on her own and not relying on family money. It had made Becca into the woman she was today, one that Heather was immensely proud of. There had been a very high chance she could have just skated easily through life and turned out to be an entitled brat, which the old Heather probably would have loved, but not anymore.

“This looks like an episode of my super sweet sixteen.” You laughed as you came back into the room, handing Heather a bowl of mac and cheese.

“It could have been.” She laughed in return, thanking you for the food and the bottle of water you handed her before moving back into the kitchen to grab yours and returning to her side on the floor. She took a small bite of macaroni, chewing it down before glancing up at you and letting out a happy sigh, “I love you.”

“It’s frozen mac and cheese Heat, I assure you it’s not that good.” You teased back and she rolled her eyes, swatting at your arm.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, I know.” You laughed, leaning in to kiss her cheek, “I love you too.”

The tv screen blared static for a minute before it popped back up to another home video, this one much older than the last. A barely one year old Jordan being passed from Rob to an older woman,

“Is that your mom?” You asked.

“Rob’s.” She replied, “much nicer than mine, honestly not that bad of a mother in law.”

“I’m assuming that’s Jordan?”

“Yeah.” She replied, a little happy smile on her face as she watched the screen, “my sweet boy. He really was a great kid; he just fell in with the wrong crowd at boarding school. Two to twelve were his prime years, before he was too cool for his mom.” You watched for a moment, Rob’s attention pulled off camera before his arm wrapped around someone, pulling them into frame and you realized it was Heather.

“Oh my god you’re adorable.”

“Stop it.” She turned her gaze to you, soft smile on her cheeks as she watched you watch the tape for a moment before turning back to the tv. “God I remember being absolutely miserable that day. Six months pregnant in the middle of a heat wave trying to keep Jordan under control and let Rob actually enjoy his birthday.”

“You look really fucking young, how old were you?”

“Twenty-two.”

“Jesus. No wonder you had so many nannies, you were a fucking baby yourself.” Heather laughed lightly, letting out a little sigh.

“We planned Jordan; I knew I wanted to get the whole kid thing out of the way early on. If we didn’t, I was sure we’d both be in our forties and realize time had flown by and it was too late. I had him the summer after we both graduated college.”

“You’re really cute pregnant.”

“Don’t get any ideas.” She warned with a tease and you laughed, “I hated it, absolutely hated it. After Jordan was born I told Rob there was no way in hell I was going through that again while in law school, so we put a pin in it. But Becca’s never been one to stick to a fucking plan…”

“You were at Harvard, pregnant, with a baby, barely legal yourself?”

“Yeah.” She sighed wearily, “Becca was born the beginning of my second year, and my god she was a fussy baby. Even from conception, my pregnancy with her was way worse than with Jordan, then after she was born it was just exhausting. Jordan slept through the night from the start, not Becca, up all hours screaming which would wake up Jordan, God the lungs on that girl.” She laughed, shaking her head at the not so fond memories, “and of course, I had to be perfect, the perfect student, the perfect wife, perfect mom, everything by the book. But Becca, she refused to latch, never once was I able to actually breastfeed her. I felt like a failure with her, it’s honestly no wonder our relationship fell apart.”

“Well you didn’t fail her in the end, did you?” Your hand snuck into her lap, squeezing at her hand and she smiled up at you.

“I’m just so fucking thankful for Rob, we’re all so lucky to have him, he was an incredible dad from day one.” Her eyes swung back up to the screen, smiling at the way Rob pressed a kiss to her baby bump before scooping Jordan up from the floor for a round of airplane.

“He really was meant to be a dad, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah.” She smiled, “god those first few years were rough.”

“Well I can imagine!” You laughed, “two kids under two while you’re in law school and he’s in med school?”

“I’ve never known exhaustion like that.”

“I would’ve dropped out.” Your bowl of food now empty, you placed it to the side and leant into Heather, your head resting on her shoulder while your arm wound into hers, interlacing your fingers. The screen went to static again, the picture replacing it footage from Jordan’s tenth birthday, kids running and screaming around the backyard. “That house is fucking huge.” You commented and Heather chuckled.

“That’s the guest house.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes.” She laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. The camera panned around the yard, pausing briefly on Rob who gave an enthusiastic wave from behind the grill before it moved on to watch Jordan do a very over the top belly flop into the pool, the actual house half in frame behind him. “That would be the house.”

“Is that the place over on Fessenden that’s been up for sale for like, six months?”

“That would be the one.”

“I drove past it on the way here today and I won’t lie, I’ve debated going to one of the open houses to see the inside of it.”

“Well you don’t need an open house for that.” She laughed, “I’ve still got the keys until it’s sold.”

“You’re the one selling it?” Your head shot off her shoulder and she laughed.

“Yes. I left it sitting empty when I left Washington. It was still partially trashed but I thought Becca or Rob might want to go back to it, and it was part of me that I was still clinging to. Becca helped me get things fixed up last year and it’s just been sitting on the market since.”

“Is it still partially furnished?” You asked, your eyes back on the tv as the camera followed a tiny Becca through the back door and into the house, your gaze nearly glazing over at the sheer vastness of it. Heather saw the look in your eyes and raised a brow, a grin taking over her cheeks,

“You want to fuck in the fancy house don’t you?”

“Yes.” You turned back to her, nodding vigorously, “yes I very much do.”

“Well…” she leaned in with a smirk, stealing a gentle kiss, “I’ll call the realtor and tell him not to bring anyone by after five on Saturday and we can play dress up.”

“I like the sound of that.” You laughed softly, meeting her lips for another tender kiss before you sunk back onto her shoulder.

You spent the next couple of hours just like that, Heather reminiscing on little bits of her kids childhoods, the family parties with Rob, grandparents, friends from work. You saw videos of Christmas mornings, exuberant presents piled up in front of the tree for everyone (and boy oh boy did you tease Heather when the apple watch presents showed up), New Year’s Eve’s of them watching the fireworks, summer vacations up in Connecticut. Trips out on the boat, nine year old Becca opting to go fishing with her dad instead of stay lounging on the boat with her mom. Heather told you stories about how Becca and Rob turned it into a monthly thing during the warmer weather, they loved their little daddy daughter fishing trips.

Heather found herself very surprised when an unmarked DVD popped up with footage from Jordan’s twenty-fifth birthday. She didn’t even really realize which year it was until you spotted Nat in the background of a shot and mentioned it. She felt a misting of tears build in her eyes, this was probably the last footage of Jordan before he died, the last somewhat good memories of her son, happy, surrounded by people who cared about him. She sniffled a little bit, her heart swelling as she felt your thumb wipe away a runaway tear, turning her gaze to you instead. It all tumbled out of her before she even realized, the stories of Jordan that she’d held on to for so long, how at her absolute rock bottom she knew she was to blame for everything but still tried to blame someone else. How she felt like a failure of a mother for it, and you assured her she wasn’t, that she did everything she could to right her wrongs. That Jordan would definitely be proud of the woman she had become today. You knew Jordan was still a sore spot for her, and probably always would be, but you would always thank her for sharing those intimate details of the part of her life she protected the most with you. Each time Jordan’s name came up between the two of you, she was more relaxed and open than the last, and that was progress.

You were watching vacation videos, clips of Becca and Jordan running amuck at Disney World (and let’s be honest, Rob was just as excited as the kids were), you nestled into Heather’s shoulder when she looked down at you. You had a happy little smile on your cheeks, warmth from the loving family vibes and she let out a little sigh.

“Are you sure you don’t want kids?”

“I have twenty of them from nine to three every day, I’ve gotten my fair share.” You assured her and she kissed the top of your head.

“You don’t feel like you’re missing out on any of this family stuff? The Christmas mornings?”

“Nope.” You twisted your head to look up at her, “your family’s my family, and the thirty year old you’ve got is chaotic enough for me.” You both laughed at that, Heather reminding you that you still had yet to experience the full on gremlin chaos.

While the videos continued to play on in the background you started to go through all the other stuff that was in the boxes Heather had pulled up from the basement. Comparing art projects and colouring pages, laughing at how terrible some of them were, and how hilarious the family self portraits were. By the end of the evening you’d watched most of the videos and had selected a few art projects to go up on the wall beside your framed one.

You helped Heather go through the photo albums, making sure they were organized and presentable before finding them homes around her living space, accessible to whomever might want to look through them and smile at fond memories. You selected a few prime ones to display in frames or up on the fridge, ones that Heather would smile at, remembering the moments she felt like a good mom, that she had succeeded with her children.

You packed away the rest of it, Heather insisting she would take it downstairs the next day as you started to yawn. She pressed a tender kiss to your cheek and guided you upstairs where you got ready for bed together in a wordless routine. Climbing under the covers you both made sure you had the correct alarms set for the morning and curled into each other.

“I love you.” You murmured, pressing a kiss to Heather’s neck.

“I love you too.” She replied, her lips hitting the top of your head as her arms squeezed around you.

_________________ @ms-calhoun @naturalxselection @yesterdaysgone @hbkpop @giftedchildturns40 @anya-casablanca @svulife-rl  @swimmingstudentchaos8911 @alexusonfire @jamiethetrans @natasha-danvers @oliviaswifey @mysticfalls01 @cmmndrwidw @bumblebear30 @svushots @yourtaletotell @cerberus-spectre @emskisworld @ex-uallyactive @addictedtodinosaurs @imaginaryoperagloves @multifandomlesbianic @annegilletteslostwh0r3 @bookpillows @drduckthief @whimsicallymad @mmmmokdok @ladysc @momlifebehard @mmemalwa @holycrapraewth @poisonedcrowns @wannabe-fic-reader @when-wolves-howll @dead-of-niightt @fighterkimburgess @lannister-slings-and-arrows @borg-queer @godard-muse  @itisdoctortoyousir @brooklynmhm @nobody-important1212 @emilyprentiss4life

#heather dunbar #heather dunbar x reader #house of cards #heather dunbar series #a redemption earned

[bitchinbarzal]

i’m finally in an okay mindset to talk about this but i don’t have anyone to say this without them getting mad at me so i’m gonna tell you

on the day of the MSU school shooting, my parents and i made plans for dinner on Valentine’s Day bc my dad works night and didn’t want my mom alone.

Valentine’s Day is here & my school had a school shooting (i’m an elementary school teacher), and one of my students who was in the office when the shooting took place was shot and died.

so i didn’t leave the school until like 6 pm that day (dinner was at 5). our school staff told us tomorrow we were going to just watch movies since we legally can’t stop school without approval (which is hard to get last minute). so I went to the store bought lots of candy, stuffed animals, and blankets for tomorrow.

I got home at about 8 to my mom calling me, answered it to her screaming and cursing me, telling me i’m a horrible daughter for leaving her alone on the holiday of love & when i broke down crying telling her what happened she just told me that she’s the only thing that should matter to me and if i was a better teacher my student wouldn’t have died on my watch.

i haven’t had any communication with her since & my family is telling me that i need to suck it up, it’s my fault, and i knew what I was getting into when i went to school to be a teacher.

i’m only in my first year of teaching & i don’t know if i can continue. the guilt is eating me alive, parents don’t trust me with their kids, and my family is making me feel a billion times worse.

thank you for letting me vent. 💗

oh sweetheart 💔

for one, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this. Absolutely nobody should suffer through that kind of pain losing a child — as a teacher that’s still your child!

secondly, respectfully your family can get fucked. the fact there’s no concern for you? your mental health? this sounds all very selfish on their part and your moms part!

[hyperfixated-on-hensper]

I think jasper likes painting

He definitely does! He's very creative, yet naturally messy, he definitely thrives with a paintbrush.

(Since, I headcanon him as autistic, maybe he'd be just like my brother who's also on the spectrum and have been obsessed with Bob Ross as a toddler)

I'll use this ask as an opportunity to share a few Jasper canon/headcanons hobbies.

I believe Jasper is a person with many hobbies; mainly things he's learned to do outta loneliness and boredom.

The first two are actually one's @jasperdunlop told me.

Jasper likes to garden

I don't remember the reason they had this headcanon, but I like to think the reason has something to do with Henry's canon flower camp era.

Like maybe Henry came back from camp and excitedly showed Jasper some of what he learned, and Jasper just took a liking to it.

Jasper is a good cook

This one is actually canon; he's shown cooking on several occasions throughout the show. He cooked dinner for Henry's family (and uncle hair neck) once. He also made the floor fajitas- which he makes every friday, then he also made brown soup for Charlotte's birthday. There's probably more but yeah.

The theory that was told to me was that he can cook really well because he's neglected at home and has always had to cook his own food. That matched with his spontaneous personality means he probably experimented in the kitchen and through trial and (lots of) error became very talented.

A few additional canon hobbies include:

-belt making

-bucket collecting (obviously)

-watching romcoms (He's quoted several)

-Dodge ball

-etc (I know I'm missing a few)

My Headcanons:

I think Jasper is musically talented, I have no reason for this other than the fact that the actor Sean Ryan Fox is a great musician.

So, I've given those traits to Jasper

I headcanon that Jasper can sing, really well, but no one knows it- not even him.

Jasper always does goofy fun renditions of songs (like the cup song) whenever he sings in front of any camera or person, making his voice dramatically loud and probably uses an accent too.

But when he's singing to himself, quietly while locking up Junk-N-Stuff, it's really good. A soft sweet melody that he doesn't even realize he's producing.

And it surprises the hell outta anyone who just so happens to hear it.

Now, I also believe he can play instruments too.

A lot of the time he's alone when he works upstairs in Junk-N-Stuff, so to combat his boredom and loneliness he started fiddling with the piano in the store.

After that he's learned how to play every instrument that comes into the store before he sells it.

He's learned, piano, guitar, harmonica, and the bagpipes.

Jasper can draw- but only one thing, Henry.

Another headcanon hobby; Partially mine.

I talked @americasass-rogers about this one.

It started off as a Hensper discussion, about how I that Jasper- Henry's self proclaimed soulmate- Donlup has had his and Henry's entire wedding planned out since they were in kindergarten.

Then we joked about how if they do eventually get married he's gonna show Piper and Charlotte (the wedding planners) a scrap book with bad drawings he made in elementary school.

Then they said "which would also probably lead to him being very good at drawing henry specifically."

We decided that when he was little he used to show off his drawing to both Henry and probably Henry's mom and later Charlotte being like look at this awesome drawing I made while they were like just little kids drawings. But as he got older he stopped because he realised that maybe it was a bit weird to draw you and your friend getting married but he got really good at drawing that specifically so his drawings now are actually really good he just doesn’t share them with anyone.

The only person that sees the drawings is Ms.Shapen, because he doodles on the back of assignments.

#henry danger #henry hart #jasper dunlop #hobbies #henry danger headcanon #jasper headcanon #hes a very creative person #man of many talents #hensper #Jenry #jasper x henry

[orionlakehastodie]

I Watched Harry and Meghan So You Won’t Have To

Episode 2

-Oedipus Rex x 3 paparazzi chasing after Meghan in a car and she’s worried for her safety. You know Diana will be milked for this I am super disgusted

-Doria: Harry was handsome - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-Narcissistic Count 1: People were overjoyed I was with Prince Harry - OMG the entitlementtttt

-Voice Over: This girl is a philanthropist - it was probably their connection. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA he thirsted over her looking like a Snapchat dog like - just fucking call a spade a spade

-Also who the fuck nicknames someone H? H does not roll off the fucking tongue it is so awkward.

-Meghan is so pitiful her face was everywhere oh no, Harry cannot save her oh no - do they really think this is a believable denouement in anybody’s life??!!

-Doria exposing Meghan’s social climbing ways - she cried that they lived above a garage. Like yo, your single mom gave you a house.

-OMG Meggy goes “my skin was lighter”

-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MEGGY WAS A NARC FROM YOUTH - SHE OCCUPIED HALF A PAGE ON HER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHERS YEARBOOK

-I’m Not Like Other Girls TM = I WAS NOT PRETTY, I FOCUSED ON BEING SMART SAYS THE DEAL OR NO DEAL GIRL

-GREASE TV COMMERCIAL - OMG, this dead horse will get beaten forever. I CHANGED THE COMMERCIAL, I WAS A LITTLE ACTIVIST I CANNOT THE SELF ABSORPTION

-“I have never heard the N word before in my life”, “Before the UK I was white passing, why did I lose my white privilege” THIS IS WHY MEGHAN IS NOT THE REPRESENTATION I WANT AS A POC this lady is not fighting racism she just wants her White priv back

-Spoiled brats wants protection for paps because they’re entitled bijjes. When William says - we don’t use tax payer money FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND Harry cries race. Like idk man, if I had a choice for my taxes to go to healthcare for the poor versus making sure Meggy Markle gets her narcissistic ego stroking - I would choose the healthcare in a heartbeat

-Like if you wanted security for Meghan - pay for it yourself. BUT YOU CAN’T CAN YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE A SPOILED PRIVILEGED ASSHOLE.

-Also it is 20 mins of this episode and they’re still whining about paps, security and race. I CANNOT

-Race race race, mixed mixed mixed, blah blah blah, joke joke joke

-Harry bragging about his travels on our taxpayer dime like the spoiled fucker he is.

-Harry’s 2 brain cells thinking Meghan’s slow as fuck turtle on weed speaking cadence is smart HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-Harry claiming his white as fuck ginger haired children are mixed so they showed black and white pics cause his kids are whiter passing than white paper

-Meghan claiming she’s a product of divorce but I’m 100% sure her mom was the mistress - oh no fact checked - she’s married to him

-This girl remembers a poem she wrote in high school but cannot remember the interview where she said she chose Prince Harry over Prince William WHAT. THE. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-Paparazzi, evil media, blah blah blah blah. Imma skip this

-I skipped 10mins its still evil media, Meggy is unsafe, blah blah blah.

-Side note when they inevitably divorce will she make a documentary about how he’s so stupid?

-“I didn’t know anything, I was in ripped jeans and barefoot, I was meeting the Duchess of Cambridge but I call her Kate” SHUT THE FUCK UP

-“I cannot believe you can’t just hug people you have just met! Like aren’t we all huggers? I can just do whatever right?” I CANNOT I WANNA SLAP HER

-“How do you tell someone you curtsy to your grandmother” oh you dimwitted child, you really fell for her cheap penny act that she doesn’t know anything about royalty

-Meghan bowing like a medieval wench FIRST OF ALL IT IS OBVIOUS SHE NEVER WENT TO THE MEDIEVAL TIMES DINNER BECAUSE NO ONE BOWS LIKE THAT.

-Harry’s face at Meggy’s confabulations. Yep asshole welcome to the rest of your life. You two brats deserve each other.

-There is just no sincerity in Meggy’s body isn’t there? At least Princess Kate is who she is on and off camera?

-Eugenie and Jack LOL MEGGY JUST FEELING HERSELF

-Harry saying his family was impressed - a ginger cannot land a beautiful woman OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA - this is what he thinks his family would he impressed by because he has done absolutely nothing to be commendable

-Race, race, race HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-What’s wrong with me? Meggy asks. You’re a narcissistic bitch, that’s what.

-HAHAHAHAHAHA FOR ALL THE BUILD UP TO HER CAREER THIS DOCUMENTARY DOES NOT SHOW THAT SHE WAS A DEAL OR NO DEAL GIRL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA WHAT A NARC

-People acting as if Rachel Zane was such an iconic character uhhh I hated Rachel the most she sucked

-Meghan tried her best to break into showbiz, BUT ACTING IS NOT HER PASSION - DOES THAT MAKE FUCKING SENSE?! Or is this the nice way to say she had no fucking acting skills

-I’m not the one thing person I am not like other girls, I do it all *wink

-The Tig was a really successful business HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

-I just wanted to volunteer, I didn’t want to win an Oscar - SO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TRY YOUR BEST TO AUDITION. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

-OMG friend Silver *pause for laughter*

-meghan is a needle in a haystack HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-It was a magnum HAHAHAHAHAHA - I wanna slap this bitch

-Downward dog - I WANT TO SLAP HIS IDIOT FACE

-Painting Meghan as new Nelson Mandela who will change the world cause she will marry into Royalty - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I cannot continue I’m too angry this is a big joke

#harry and meghan #meghan markle #prince harry #jokers and clowns

[artificialqueens]

Dancing in the Kitchen (Group Fic) - Candy Cane

A/N: heres another thats not really my usual group of people to write! i love writing all of them tho the vibes are Immaculate. thank u @bogozbinted for beta'ing and cheerleading and everything i love u so much and u mean so so much to me!!!! <33 i hope everyone enjoys my potluck contribution :33 Summary: As the semester comes to a close, Bob decides she wants to hold a potluck and asks her four closest friends to participate. Kim takes the time to reflect on her friendships. 

Three weeks before finals start, Kim’s new group of friends decides it’s very necessary to have one last “family dinner” to celebrate not only the end of the school year, but this new friendship they’ve all found in each other too. Kim recognizes it as the soft, special thing that it really is and is immensely grateful to be included in the small but infectious group that they have created for themselves. 

  When she met up with Bob in the library to study for English that very first time back in September, she never would’ve guessed it would turn into what it did. She is so glad that it did.  Her freshman year at college was… interesting for lack of a better word. The people that she did know and consider to be friends mostly referred to her as reclusive, even a shut-in on some occasions, so she feels she’s made massive progress from her freshman to sophomore years. She’s definitely proud of herself.

  Kim knows that has made friends forever here, she knows that in her heart. All of them are unique from each other and she genuinely believes that’s why the five of them get along so well. Just similar enough to get along and just different enough to keep things interesting, it’s a perfect balance that this small group has achieved.

  Bob is not only funny and extroverted, she’s also the “group mom” for lack of better phrasing. She organizes everything they do and always carries a million things in her handbags to take care of them all. As much as Bob likes to tease them and joke around about the little things, it’s clear she also takes pleasure in making sure everyone is safe and happy, which is something Kim really appreciates about Bob. Despite only having known each other for a short amount of time, Kim doesn’t know where she’d be now without her.

  Monet, on the other hand, is without a doubt the group’s wild child. She’s extroverted like Bob is, but always seems to find herself in one crazy situation or another, always hanging out with large and loud crowds of people. Kim sometimes has a hard time remembering all of the names of said people, but it doesn’t matter as long as Monet is having a good time. Kim knows how special freshman year is and she’s glad that Monet is at least taking advantage of it.  

  Tiana is the one person Kim has known for the longest, and even the reason Tiana is here at all. They were high school friends, and when Kim went off to college Tiana had vowed to follow her. Kim had laughed it off, thinking she was just being dramatic, but true to her word Tiana had FaceTimed Kim screaming and crying when she had been accepted into the same college a year later. Although she’s a freshman like Monet and Naomi, Tiana acts like she’s the most well known and well liked person on the whole campus. 

  And then there’s Naomi… Kim had it off with her like they had been friends since elementary school, like they were destined to be close to each other all along. Even though Naomi is quite personable and friendly, she’s much like Kim in that she’d rather lay in bed and chat while watching TV instead of going out to some random frat party. The few parties they had been to were hilariously bad, inspiring the two to spend more time just doing whatever they felt like instead of trying to fit in with other students. 

  Naomi understands Kim in a way she thought no one ever could or would ever try to, and she knows she’s lucky, which is why she refuses to take Naomi and her friendship for granted. Sure, they both enjoy making jokes at the other’s expense, but it works for them somehow and Kim wouldn’t want whatever it is they have any other way. She loves Naomi, more than she maybe should, and she never wants to lose her. 

  In short, Kim thinks this crazy group of people is very special, and she is in awe of them every day, though she would never say that to their faces, it would give them way too much ammo. With how much they all like reading each other Kim has a reputation to uphold as the sneakiest one in the group as far as jokes go. It’d be a shame for all of that to go to waste after almost two whole semesters of cementing her place. 

  “You’re thinking hard,” Naomi says, startling Kim out of her thoughts.

  Kim shrugs, a sneaky smile on her lips, “Yeah, but you wouldn’t have much experience with that so I’m surprised you picked that up.”

  “Oh my God,” Naomi giggles rolling her eyes, “You are so mean to me.”

  “You’ll live,” Kim says, patting her best friend on the shoulder comfortingly.

  Considering they really haven’t known each other for very long, Kim doesn’t know what she would be able to do without Naomi, truly. Currently, the two best friends are walking to Bob’s off-campus apartment that she got back in December. Bob had decided ot move there after the fire alarm in the dorm building she was living in had gone off three too many times at 2 in the fucking morning. She was understandably fed up with the conditions and moved out at her first opportunity. Luckily, Kim and Naomi hadn’t experienced that problem yet, but Monet and Tiana complain often about it, upset that they aren’t allowed to move off campus since they’re freshman. 

  Kim is just glad Bob moving to her own place strengthened the group’s friendship instead of weakening it, admittedly that was something she had been worried about but had refused to bring up at the time. She’s always preferred things just happen how they’re going to happen instead of trying to force everything all the time, unlike some other people that she knows. 

  Still, Kim is glad to have the friendships she does have. She’s never one to take those things for granted. Until she met Tiana, her junior of high school, friends were hard for her to make and manage. Tiana changed that in a way, even inspiring a confidence in Kim she had never felt before, which is one of several reasons she’s thrilled about tonight. Hanging out with Tiana is always fun, especially with these group dynamics Kim got so used to so quickly. 

  Tonight is also very special because they’re doing something Kim has wanted to for a few months now, a potluck. It’s a chance for her to show off her legendary cooking skills and judge everyone else’s. A win-win for her and a win-lose for everyone else, obviously. The late spring sun shining down on them is a promise for a good night and a fun time to be had by all of them. 

  She’s carrying the dish she had spent all afternoon painstakingly preparing in her favorite travel case, while Naomi is swinging her tote bag confidently, and Kim kind of wants to laugh at how accurate it is to their personalities. She isn’t sure where or how Naomi made her dish, considering Kim was in the only kitchen in the whole dorm building all afternoon and hadn’t seen Naomi until they agreed upon time to meet up and get ready together. 

  Kim is curious about what Naomi decided to bring to their end of the year potluck, and is excited to see everyone else’s contributions too, though she’s certain hers will be the best. There’s a reason everyone always asks her for restaurant recommendations and recipes, and she takes pride in her skills and knowledge, even if they may be a bit unconventional at times. 

  The walk to Bob’s apartment is always short, and when Naomi and her climb the stairs and knock on the door, Tiana is the one to throw it open with all the energy and happiness Kim expects from the girl. 

  “Yes! You’re here!” Tiana squeals, stepping back so her and Naomi can enter Bob’s apartment. 

  It was definitely a steal, although Bob does have to share with two other people to be able to afford it. Kim thinks that it’s worth it though, the apartment is fairly large and everyone living in it gets their own bathroom, even if they’re all tiny it’s better than sharing one bathroom between three people. 

  “Hi,” Naomi greets Tiana warmly, pulling the shorter girl in for a hug. 

  Kim watches with an amused grin, it will never cease to amaze her how short everyone looks when compared to Naomi. She quickly stops smiling when she realizes that she’s Tiana’s next victim, flinching when Tiana wraps her arms around Kim tightly and squeezes. 

  “Do you have to do that every time?” Kim asks, shrinking in on herself, secretly enjoying the casual affection from her close friend. 

  “As long as it always makes you uncomfortable,” Tiana grins widely, though she lets go.

  Bob pokes her head from around the corner where the small kitchen is located, “Tia! Stop torturing Kimberly!”

  “Awww, but it’s so fun,” Tiana whines, bouncing into the kitchen after Bob. 

  Naomi turns to Kim to share a soft smile that makes Kim’s heart flutter in ways she would rather ignore. They’re here tonight to have a good time with their closest friends, that’s it. At least that’s what Kim is going to keep telling herself.

  “Where’s Monet?” Naomi calls out, taking Kim’s bag from her in order to set their dishes down on the dining room table.

  Kim trails after Naomi, unsure of what else to do and just as curious as to Monet’s whereabouts. Normally, Monet is always at Bob’s apartment, unless she’s at classes or a party, so it’s strange she’s not here already. She glances around for Tiana too, but she seems to have disappeared somewhere else in the apartment. Kim finds it strange, while it’s not small it’s not big either so there’s not a lot of places to disappear to. Kim decides to chalk it up to classic Tiana behavior.

  “She said she had to make a stop on her way over,” Bob says from where she’s standing in front of the stove, stirring something that smells genuinely delicious.

  Ever the nosey guest, Kim walks over to Bob and peeks her head over Bob’s shoulder, curious to see what her friend is making. 

  “Oooh, that looks good!” She says, knowing that this annoys the shit out of Bob. 

  “Kim! No! It’s a surprise!” Bob shrieks, batting Kim back with her hands. 

  Kim giggles, “You probably would’ve been able to achieve that if you hadn’t waited until the last minute to cook.”

  “Wowww, Kim,” Bob drawls sarcastically, hugging her from behind to easily maneuver her away from the stove, “Absolutely no slack for the host, huh?”

  “Since you’re the host you should be the most prepared!” Kim insists through bouts of laughter as Bob practically walks her to the other side of the room to where Naomi is doubled over in laughter. 

  Kim can’t stop smiling and laughing herself, she loves it when Naomi has as much fun as she does. She wishes all of them could be like this all the time, happy and carefree. She knows it’ll never happen, but that won’t ever stop her from hoping. As a kid she was told to wish on a star, and for whatever reason she still believes that wish will come true. One day, maybe not anytime soon, but she can wait. She has more patience than Bob at least.

  “Oh my God my cheeks hurt!” Naomi gasps out, reaching out to pull Kim into her arms, effectively freeing Bob to go back to finishing her dish for the potluck. 

  Kim grins at Naomi, “Okay, but you can let go of me now.” 

  Naomi gasps, scandalized, “Never! I will never let you go!” 

  “And IIIIIIiiiIIIIII-” Tiana pipes up, appearing out of nowhere, purposefully singing ‘I Will Always Love You’ as shittily as she can manage.

  “Someone save me!” Kim groans dramatically, tossing her head back against Naomi’s shoulder. 

  “Oh no, the awful reality of having people who care about you,” Naomi bemoans along with her.

  “I just came here for the food and now I have to put up with all of this too,” Kim adds, pouting as pathetically as she can.

  “Physical affection? How evil,” Bob rolls her eyes, taking the pot off the stove with her back turned to her friends, making it impossible for the three of them to see what exactly she chose to make. Kim definitely has her suspicions.

  There’s a rapid knocking on the door, and Kim takes advantage of a startled Naomi. She worms out of her best friend’s arms and speeds over to the door, right on Tiana’s heels. Unfortunately, Tiana still beats her to it and is the one to open the door for Monet. 

  “The party can now begin,” Monet announces brightly, cocking her hand on her hip. 

  Monet looks incredible as always, but only has a heavy, black plastic bag in her hand, two glass bottles peaking out. The group exchanges greetings and light hugs all over again, and Kim is excited to finally get to the main event of the evening now that the last member of their little group is here. Monet roughly sets her bag down on the dining room table next to the plastic grocery store bag that Tiana brought.

  Bob comes in from the kitchen carrying a red casserole dish covered in aluminum foil, the smell of whatever it is Bob has made making her mouth water. One glance at her friends confirms they’re all eager for this last ‘hoorah’ of sorts to begin too. Each of them takes a seat at the dining room table, all of them making a comment of some kind about their excitement, and Kim feels at home in a way she only does when she’s with them. 

  Bob stands up at the head of the table and clears her throat dramatically, and Kim knows they are all about to be in for a treat.

  “Friends, sisters, Monet,” Bob starts, ignoring Monet’s chuckle of protest, “We have come here today to rub shit in each other’s faces, celebrate the end of the school year, and eat way too much food. Without further ado, I present to you my dish, the world’s best motherfucking mac n’ cheese to ever grace the face of this  goddamn planet.” 

  She dramatically lifts the foil off of her casserole dish, revealing said mac n’ cheese. Kim definitely can admit that it does look good, but she’s still skeptical it will hold up against everything she brought. 

  “Girl, that is the most predictable thing of all time,” Monet says, rolling her eyes. 

  Bob crosses her arms over her chest, clearly unamused, “Says the bitch who only brought alcohol.”

  “Okay well someone had to bring drinks,” Monet argues.

  Kim glances at Naomi, and the two smile knowingly at each other. They’re both incredibly familiar with the fact that once those two get started it’s basically impossible to get them to stop. 

  “Well, what drinks did you bring?” Tiana asks, pulling the two girls out of what was most definitely going to be a ten minute long argument. 

  Monet stands up now, smiling proudly as she pulls the two bottles she brought out of the bag, “Today, I present for you all two timeless classics.”

  Kim glances at the bottles, then quirks an eyebrow at Monet, “Three dollar champagne and the driest red wine you could find?”

  Monet stares at Kim blankly. 

  “Drag her ass, Kim!” Bob cackles. 

  “I will let you know that it is five dollar champagne, and that this red wine is a college student classic!” Monet frowns.

  “How do you even get your hands on this stuff?” Kim asks, curious since none of them are the legal age to buy alcohol and yet they always seem to have it. 

  “Older friends,” Monet and Tiana say at the exact same time, causing the two to break into fits of laughter. 

  Naomi leans over to rest her head on Bob’s shoulder, “In just a couple months you’re going to be our older friend!” 

  “Oh, fuck you,” Bob laughs, pushing her away playfully.

  As Monet takes her seat, Tiana stands up eagerly with her bag.

  “I brought chips!” Tiana says cheerily and Kim can’t help giggling at her antics, “Barbeque, of course, and then extra spicy too.”

  She dumps the bag out on the table, and Bob sighs dramatically, “Did any of you take this seriously?”

“I went all the way to Walmart for this,” Tiana pouts, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “So boujee,” Kim smirks at her.

  “Always,” she winks, playing along with Kim’s sarcasm. 

  Bob just groans and lays her head down on the table, “If all we have is sides and alcohol I’m not ordering pizza for y’all.”

  Naomi pats Bob’s shoulder comfortingly, “You’re definitely going to be happy with what I brought.” 

  “I better be,” Bob says grumpily, though she perks up some when Naomi begins unpacking her tote bag.

  Naomi first pulls out ice packs, and Kim is starting to get an idea of what Naomi has brought. Then she pulls out a plastic container with a label that Kim will always recognize, and even though it’s not homemade like Bob had wanted them to do, no one is going to be upset with this food choice. 

  “It’s sushi,” Naomi smiles brightly, and Kim melts from how precious she looks. 

  “At least it’s not another side dish,” Bob says, reaching out to grab the container from Naomi. 

  “Okay I’m really glad you brought that, we haven’t had it in forever,” Kim smiles at Naomi.

  Naomi rolls her eyes affectionately, “We just had this, like, two weeks ago.”

  “Forever!” Kim insists, unable to hold back her giggle.  

  “Alright, we get it, y’all have date night,” Monet says teasingly. 

  Kim and Naomi both whip their heads around to stare at her.

  “Uhh… That’s not…” Naomi stutters.

  “If we have date nights then you and Monique are married,” Kim immediately shoots back in a last ditch attempt to get the attention off of whatever it is she has with Naomi. 

  “Of course we are,” Monet says pleasantly, “She’s my best boo.”

  “What am I then? Chopped fucking liver, girl?” Bob asks, pretending to be wounded. 

  “Nah you’re just my annoying older sister.”

  “Okay if anyone is the annoying one in this relationship it’s you,” Bob says, crossing her arms over her chest. 

  Tiana pouts, “When do I get to be annoying?”

  “Oh, honey,” Kim murmurs sympathetically, reaching across the table to hold her hand, “You already are.”

  All of them start laughing, the playful nature of the group warm and familiar in a way that’s completely unique to their little group. It’s not something Kim has ever had before, she’s not even sure she’s had anything that’s ever come close to this. She doesn’t want it to ever end. 

  “Alright, Kim, your turn. And then we can finally have dinner,” Bob says, grabbing Kim’s travel bags and handing them to her.

  Kim stands up to easily maneuver the bags, “Well… I may have gone a little overboard.” 

  “This is why I love you,” Bob smiles, excitedly leaning forward to see what she pulls out. 

  “Okay so I made some Jeyu Bokkeum, and also some vegetarian Bibimbap, and then a really traditional Doenjang Jjigae,” Kim trails off, holding up each container of food as she says the names. 

  “I’m going to pretend to know what any of that means,” Monet grins, “I’m just ready to eat.”

  “I know what all of that is,” Tiana says proudly. 

  “She is smart after all,” Bob says teasingly. 

  As Naomi gets up with Monet to get plates, cups, and cutlery, Kim revels in this small family she’s managed to make for herself. Things haven’t always been easy for her, especially with lasting relationships, but this feels solid and real. She won’t let this go, not without a fight. She loves all four of these girls intensely, she loves that she has people to love. The five of them are going to be okay, she knows it in her heart. Especially here at this tiny dining room table, in this little apartment, sharing a piece of herself with them. 

#rpdr fanfiction #s8 #naomi smalls #kim chi #bob the drag queen #monet x change #plastique tiara #group fic #lesbian au #college au #pining #budding relationship #fic challenge #potluck #found family #the best years yet #dancing in the kitchen #candy cane #concrit welcome

[lovemesomesurveys]

Who was the last person you recall dreaming about? Honestly, my dreams lately have been about me eating. I have my appetite/eating issues and I used to say eating often felt like a chore, but damn when you can’t eat or even drink at all, and I’m going on 3 months now of this, it’s really hard.   I see. And do your dreams ever have random people in them? Yeah. Random people I went to like elementary school with will pop up in a dream and I’m like wtf?? So weird.  What was the last spicy food you ate? Do you eat a lot of spicy food? I don’t even remember it’s been so long. I used to be obSESSED with spicy food, I ate it all the time. Then one day for whatever reason I no longer could eat it. It sucks.  When was the last time you admired some flowers? What kind/colour were they? I don’t recall... it’s not something I tend to do.  What were you doing when 4PM last came around? My mom came and I was talking with her. 

Do you own anything that is sparkly or has glitter on it? Yeah. Which streaming services do you use? How long have you been using them for? Like all of them it seems like.  Are you in the process of watching or re-watching a series at the moment? I’ve been watching several shows for the first time the past few months, and on the side I have my comfort go-to’s that I’ve seen many times as well.  If so, how many seasons does it have? And what season are you currently on? Well, one of the new shows I’ve been watching is Stranger Things, which has 4 seasons. I’m currently watching season 4′s finale.  To whom did you last send an email? Do you check your emails daily? I don’t recall, it’s been a long time. I check my email often and try to stay on top of it so it doesn’t build up too much, but I miss some days. What was the last item of yours that you misplaced? Did you find it? Hmm. I’m not sure.  What was the last thing you ate, that you considered a treat/luxury? The last thing I had was a cookie and some chips back in May. D: I see. How often do you typically eat such things? Often, normally.  Do you have any idea what you're going to have for dinner tomorrow evening? Good ol’ feeding tube supplement. Sigh.  What type of cake did you have for your last birthday, if any? I couldn’t have any this year. :( When was the last time you asked for someone's advice or opinion? Recently.  Has anyone you know got a new pet recently? Not that I know of.  ^If so, what kind? And what name did they choose? -- Who was the last person you knew that had a baby? How long ago was that? One of my cousins. Their baby is like 2 or 3 now.  And is anyone you know expecting a baby anytime soon? I don’t think so.  What was the last fundraising event that you took part in? I don’t remember, but it was something I did with my psych club when I was attending community college, which was 10 years ago. How old were you 10 years ago? Who were your closest friends at that point? I was 22. My closest friends were Amanda, Joseph, and Stuart.  ^Do you still speak to any of them? No. :/ Okay, I'll finish with something positive. Is there anything that you're looking forward to, in the near future? Not so much of a positive note for me...  I still have a long road to recovery ahead.

#personal #text #survey #surveys