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#first of all i finished school and passed all my classes !! i almost had to take the chemistry final tho
axeoverblade · 9 months
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Classmate
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PART ONE (CURRENT); PART TWO ; PART THREE
Earth 42! Miles Morales x fem! reader
Synopsis! For the life of you , you couldn’t understand why Miles had it out to get you so bad. If it wasn’t for the mid-year seat change, he wouldn’t have even acknowledged your existence.
MASTERLIST
Genre: light fluff, enemies to lovers like trope, light bully!Miles
Warnings: mentions of sa (nothing happens just mentioned), mentions of violence, maybe foul language but I think that’s it enjoy!
word count: 5k
Authors comment: I keep seeing School themed hcs and I had to say me sphewl(?), planned to be one shot but thinking about a part two. Sorry for any bad translations my Spanish is meh, please leave a like <3
Do not copy! All rights reserved to ©axeoverblade
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It was known half way through the school year at Visions Academy the teachers changed the assigned seats. Being in your last hour, you were pretty much comfortable sitting next to almost anyone in the class.
Albeit, you did have a few in your mind you would rather not be sat with. Kids who didn’t like to do the group work, kids who talked too much, kids who always were trying to copy answers, etc.
The teacher went through the neatly organized desks column by column, starting on the left side closest to the door for the new seating chart. There were only four columns seeing as the wooden desks were double seated. You listened as she went through assigning kids to chairs, finally reaching the last column. There were about seven other kids along with you still waiting to be called to the four desks available. All the kids left were somewhat iffy options to be next to for the rest of the year.
Only you and three others were left. She called out to the second to last desk, “Amanda and John”. You sigh a breath of relief happy to not be sat next to John who had a crush on you, your thoughts replaying all the times he had tried to get with you. Feelings were not mutual. “ And Finally Y/n and Miles.”
You walked over to the seat from the front of the room, seeing the Miles kid already getting comfortable in his new seat closest to the wall.
You never had the chance to talk to Miles much. Actually, you don’t think you’ve ever talked to him. He was very reticent in the classroom. The moment he finished his work which was always relatively quick, he was out of the class leaving a few minutes to spare coming back before the bell rang.
There was a reason you never made an effort to talk to Miles. In fact, it was more like you endeavored to avoid him. His hedonistic friend group were known for being-, uncivil. They treated others horribly, always making someone do something that would make your stomach churn if you had to be the one to do it. And even though Miles was known to never actively participate in those things, anyone who hung around people who did those things were bound to start someday.
What confused you though, he was extremely smart unlike the jerks he was always with. You heard he was one of the highest scoring kids, every report card stamped with straight As. That wasn’t much at this school, almost everyone had straight As and high Bs, but all his grades averaged above 94.
There was also no denying he was very attractive. Surprisingly he was never seen with anyone romantically, unlike his friends who always had a girl or two under their arms. There were definitely people were lined up at his feet though, always trying to cling to him. He always just brushed them off, sometimes blunter than he needed to be.
You had seen it once, a girl you hadn’t really liked had gone up to him during passing period asking for his number only for him to look at her and walk right past her. All his friends and their shallow twats of girlfriends laughed at her, walking with Miles past her.
She cried in bathroom for forty minutes after.
You stood next to your seat, putting your bag down. “Hi I’m y/n” you said, formally introducing yourself to Miles for the first time. He looked up to you from his phone. You watched as he took his time studying you, making you slightly flustered as his eyes roamed your body. He looked back down at his phone, disregarding your presence. “I know.”
You blinked a few times processing the abrupt rudeness.
You rolled your eyes and whispered a few choice words to yourself about the interaction as you sat down, realizing you were stuck next to him for the rest of the year.
You pulled out your phone, texting your friend and roommate Mei, who was across the room, about how rude Miles was. She looked up, seeing you staring at her irritated. She giggled before texting back.
Mei: He so fine tho 😍 ask em if he needs a dog
You: Mei 💀
You: he’s so rude n for what? Like he could’ve just nodded or said his name. I know he got that whole “bad boy” thing goin but ain’t have to do allat
Mei: Ion know gl tho 💯
You: Ur no help 😭 Ima ask for a seat change
Mei: It's the first five minutes you have sat next to each other, maybe he is just nervous from ur emmense beauty 😩 I know I would be
Mei: PLUS u know Ms Reita does not b swappin seats. You know how many times I asked to be moved from Jessica only for her to say tuff luck and move on? Seventeen times. Just give it time n maybe it gets better you never know
You: 😐
You shook your head and put your phone down as the teacher started passing out the work. It was a normal worksheet due by the end of class. You went through, solving the easier problems before going back and finishing the ones you skipped.
You were on your last problem when Miles hand shot up lazily. Ms.Reita looked at him and sighed, knowing that he was going to leave for almost the rest of class period if she let him leave the room. “Is your worksheet finished?” “I wouldn’t be raisin’ my hand if it wasn’t.” “Watch it Morales, wouldn’t want to have to tell your Mom you have detention would you?” He sighed before mockingly smiling “sorry Ms.Reita, can I so humbly excuse myself?” He batted his eyelashes for extra effect, clearly tired of the interaction and ready to leave. She huffed as pointed to the door. You snickered to yourself watching the exchange. He looked at you, a glint of amusement washing over his eyes, but the look left as soon as it appeared. He looked away getting up and walking out.
_
You walked with Mei back to your shared dorm, talking about the nonsense that flooded your minds. Luckily for you, it was Friday and you could go home tonight, you just had to go grab your bag and you would be free from this hell hole.
“Alright Mei I’ll see you on Monday” you said, grabbing your suitcase and backpack, pulling it with you to leave. She smiled and waved, still packing. “Bye baby mama” you rolled your eyes playfully at what she said. She would constantly make jokes about how she could care for you and be your sugar momma, even though she was just as broke as you were.
You walked toward the lobby of the school, seeing the exit to the building so close. It felt like knowing air was near when you were drowning, finally being able to catch a break and breathe- “oh sorry baby girl, didn’t see you there.” You felt someone bump into you, too intentional for it to be accident. You cringed at the nickname and gathered yourself. Luckily you hadn’t fallen, just stumbled causing your bag to fall off you. “Don’t call me that John.” You said, picking up your bag and slinging it in on your shoulder. “You know you like it” he said, closer than he needed to be. Recoiling at the sound of him so close to your ear, you stuck your hand out and lightly pushed him further from you. “I really don’t, I already told you I want nothin’ to do with you.” You continued to walk to the exit, only for him to walk beside you. “Cmon baby I can show you the world, stop playing hard to get.” You looked at him, stopping in your tracks, “I’m not playing hard to get, this is me playing I don’t want you” “so you admit you're playing about not wanting me?” He said, smirking. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, just wanting to go home. “For the final time John, I am not interested.” You walked again, this time he didn’t follow because his friends were walking up to him. “I’ll see you on Monday baby!” He called out loudly, drawing attention to the both of you. You scowled and walked faster out the building, happy to not have to see John for a few days.
Unbeknownst to you, Miles was watching the interaction from the beginning, ignoring his friends talk about the girls that passed or the sexist comments they made. He noted how you reacted to John, how much disgust surged through your body language. He disliked John, but for separate reasons. John was one of those guys. Class A jock who didn’t know when to quit. Also didn’t know when to shut their mouths. Granted, those were the exact people he hung around. But at least he could tolerate their idiocy, and it was better than walking around the school alone all day. Only kid he hung around that wasn’t like that was his roommate Ganke.
He watched as you scowled and left the school. He shrugged minding his own business, zoning back into the conversation about who had the biggest boobs.
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Monday rolled around quicker than you could’ve imagined. And it felt like a Monday, which never helped. You trudged into your last hour groggily, just wanting to be done with the day so you could go back to your dorm and sleep. Walking over to your seat, you looked at Mei across the room. She wiggled her eyebrows, mouthing for you to initiate conversation with Miles. You rolled your eyes, sitting down. Miles was sketching lightly on the worksheet already passed out on the desks. You tried to look at it, but the braid that draped over his shoulder covered your view. You didn’t want to seem invasive, so you just grabbed your sheet and began working.
Finishing the sheet quickly, you got on your phone, scrolling through your socials. You saw a news alert flash across the top of your screen, some message about “the prowler striking again” over the weekend. You swiped it away.
You didn’t hate the prowler in all honesty, but you would never admit that out loud. Whoever was under the mask did bad things, but usually only to bad people. Usually.
The police barely did anything anymore, making it hard to even go outside without getting mugged or groped or something bad. With the prowler being out and about, some idiots have been scared off the streets, enough to where you could at least walk to and from your family apartment to school. In your eyes, the vigilante kinda helped a little.
“Stop tapping, its annoyin” a voice rudely interrupted you from your thoughts. You looked over to see miles looking at you, semi-irritated. You hadn’t realized you were tapping the desk, something you did unconsciously when you were lost in your own mind. You pulled your hand back, putting it on your thigh, “my fault, ain need all that attitude though” you said looking at him. He rolled his eyes and started drawing again. “Whatcha’ sketching?” You asked, leaning towards him slightly. He looked at you with furrowed brows, blinking a couple of times, before going back to sketching ignoring your question. El tiene algunos nervios. Instead of just excusing his behavior like you did on Friday, you opted to invade his personal space; moving his braid, your head now hovering over his shoulder. He moved his body quickly, his reflexes faster than you could process. “Qué coño estás haciendo?” He said sternly, but you didn’t budge. “You didnt wanna respond” you said not looking at him, more focused on the drawing. “That ain’ answer my question” he said, you could feel the irritation laced in his voice, but instead of leaving him alone like he wanted, you grabbed the paper to get a better view. The drawing was a well portrayed mask of sorts, oddly similar to the prowlers, and a few weapons all sketched on the back of his paper. You raised your eyebrow at the drawing. He was actually really good at drawing, the detail for him to have started that less than twenty minutes ago impressed you. He snatched the paper back. You turned your head to him, seeing him looking at you with furrowed eyebrows, getting ready to say something. “Answer me next time and I won’t have to do that” you said before he could speak, a mocking smile laying on your lips. He rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath before going back to sketching.
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One word, Regret.
You really wish you hadn’t decided to let you imaginary balls get the best of you. Because now Miles how a personal vendetta against you. Damn your pride. Within the span of few weeks he somehow had broken into your locker and trashed you books, he made sure it wasn’t anything that you couldn’t fix easily though, just a few torn pages. He constantly would shove you, which he mude sure to do lightly to not actually hurt you, into the lockers when he passed you in the nearly empty halls when he was with his friends. He would say the most outlandish things to you whenever you passed him when the halls were too crowded and others could see what he did. He made sure his friends didn’t mess with you though, knowing they would take it way too far how they had with the other kids they harassed. And even though you tried to ignore him the first few weeks hoping he would stop, he never did. You swore you could feel yourself loosing your mind.
Miles had only originally planned on pestering you for a day or two to get the point across that you should’ve left him alone, but then he realized how fun it was to provoke you. You became his entertainment, or at least that was the reason that he told himself he went out of his way to annoy you. And now that he had gotten on your last nerve, you were like a ticking time bomb every time.
You made school easier for him, giving him something to look forward to. Your reactions were always so animated, almost comical, making messing with you so funny. He didn’t just mess with you in sense of picking on you., he would mess with you feelings too. He looked for you in the halls just to go behind you and pull you by your backpack into him. You would lose your balance then he would put his hands on you waist to stabilize you, whispering in your the cusp of your ear sternly to “watch where you’re going mami”, a nickname he now would often call you just to see how irritated and flustered you would get. You would always reply with a snarky remark, something along the lines of “he pulled you into him”, always stuttering through the sentence no matter the amount of times he had done this to you, siempre fue tan mono a él. Something that unintentionally brought his face to a smirk was how you never mentioned anything about the nicknames he gave you like you did with John.
His friends would constantly make comments about how Miles liked you and now you were off limits, but every time he shot the idea down with a quick annoyed face. But perish the thought one of his friends gets talks about you the wrong way. They had seen the way Miles looked at the guy who had walked up to and called you pretty. Didn’t ask for your number, didn’t do anything weird, just called you pretty. The problem wasn’t even the compliment, it was how genuinely big you smiled but it wasn’t because of him.
Miles wasn’t going to deny he found you attractive. He had seen you the first day he walked into Vision academy a year ago and couldn’t get you out of his head for week. Hell you were probably the prettiest girl in the school, but maldito eres molestosa. When laying on the bed in his dorm room the nights he wasn’t out doing his prowler work, he could hear your pesky voice ringing in his ears, también pudo ver tu cara hermosa. He hated it. He hated how sometimes your face would pop up in his brain during a mission, and it would make him falter for a moment. Something as simple as hesitating, even for a millisecond, could’ve had him killed mid fight.
He didn’t actually care for you, at least that’s what he told himself. So you can understand why it bothered him so much that he hated weekends now, knowing it was extra days where he couldn’t see you, feel you. Even if it was just a brush on the shoulder when doing partner work, or him shoving you lightly when walking past, glaring at you like you were the one that bumped into him.
It annoyed you to no end you were stuck next to him for the rest of the year. What annoyed you even more was how attracted you were to him. He was so dismissive toward you, and for some reason you would sit in your room giggling with Mei about how his laugh, even though the only reason you had heard it was because he was making fun of you, was the most attractive thing you have ever heard.
Luckily today was Friday so you could enjoy the weekend.
It had been a few months since you had been moved next to Miles, a few months since you decided to overstep a boundary you wish you hadn’t, a few months since you’ve been slowly loosing your sanity. Miles had taken it upon himself to mess with you in class, staying for almost the whole period now a days to do just that.
“If you would finish your work then we could be done already” you mumbled under your breath, looking at the shared work you had to do that Miles hadn’t even looked at, too engrossed in his phone. The two of you had been going back and forth since the start of class, now only roughly fifteen minutes left. He looked up to you, squinting from annoyance, “do you ever just, I don’t know, close your mouth?”. You rolled your eyes “If you, I don’t know, finish your half so I can go turn this in then yea maybe I would.” He scoffed, pulling the paper closer to him. A few minutes passed and he slid the paper over to you “don’t say anything else”. You looked at the paper, seeing he had completed his half of the work in record time, you must really annoy him. “Well if you just did that earlier” you said sarcastically, picking up the paper and walking over to the turn in bin, placing the paper in it.
As you walked back to your seat, John started to talk to you. You pursed your lips, walking past him heading to your seat behind him. That didn’t stop him, as all he did was turn his chair around to face you. “So the party is tonight, you can come-” he paused, putting emphasis on the word winking at you, hinting at something else. You looked at him disgusted. “And we can have a lot of fun, perfect chance for you to see how much you truly like me.” You blinked a few times, “yea no” was all you said before looking at your phone. You didn’t fail to hear the small, quiet breathy laugh that fell from Miles lips as he stared at his phone, overhearing the conversation. His laugh alone could make your knees buckle. You quickly brought yourself back to reality, not letting your mind flow with any positive thoughts about Miles. “Cmon’ baby, promise I’ll show you a good time.” “Ain’ I tell you not to call me that?” You said, annoyed that John just couldn’t leave you alone. “You know we locked in, you keep playin.” “John-” “aight hear me out, you come to the party, if you don’t have a nice time -which I can guarantee you will- I’ll leave you alone, how does that sound?” “You’ll leave me alone?” You said, intrigued by the offer. “If you come.” You sighed, “lemme ask my momma.” He smiled widely, happy to have finally convinced you. Miles secretly looked between the two of you with his eyebrows furrowed, thinking how pathetic John was.
A few minutes passed as John sat facing you, waiting for a response. You sighed, causing him to perk up. “I need to be home by 11, and you have to send me the address. My mom also needs your number and your mommas number, comprende?” He nodded quickly, typing all the information into your phone so you could send it to your mom. You sent the message, already regretting your decision.
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Sure enough.
You sped walk home, the time nearing 10:45. Wiping the tear that trickled down your cheek, you scoffed. The party started off great, you and John had a great time, initially.
Then things got weird, he tried to take you to a bedroom upstairs, you declined, him being intoxicated, grabbed you forcefully to take you up. You were glad you were taught basic self defense. You kneed him in the bolas and grabbed your bag, quickly leaving. You wondered what would’ve happened if you had dranken something, where you wouldn’t have been fully aware of your surroundings. You hurrying to dismiss the thought, happy to be out the party
Normally you would be much more aware of the world around you, had you not been so lost in your thoughts. “Hey there pretty lady” you heard, you couldn’t catch a break tonight. You started walking quicker, almost jogging with your eyes focused ahead of you, as you just wanted to get home safely. “You ain’t hear us talkin to you?” Your eyes widened at the mention of us, realizing there was more than one. You searched for your switch blade that would usually be inside your pocket, but it was no where to be found. You figured it must’ve fallen out at the party, you silently cursed to yourself. Three men were now matching your speed, and suddenly were next to you.
“What’s a little momma like you doing out here all alone, don’t you know there’s bad guys out here?”
“Don’t worry baby, we’ll keep you safe”, they grabbed you forcefully covering your mouth so you wouldn’t alert anyone, not like anyone would help. They pulled you to the nearest alley. You bit the hand of whoever was covering your mouth, causing them to let go of your face. You took this as an opportunity to scream for dear life, only to be smacked into a state of drowsiness. You quickly shook yourself out of it, feeling the stinging sensation spread across your face. Your ear was ringing lightly, and you could’ve sworn this dude knocked your tooth loose. You spit at the guy across from you, seeing bloody saliva land on his face. The guy behind you who was holding you let go and moved to the side. Before you could react to the new found freedom, you were pushed roughly into the wall behind you. “Tonto puta, all you had to do was cooperate” the guy in front of you said, wiping the spit off his face.
Ready to accept whatever was going to happen, you closed your eyes and scrunched your face, only to hear screams of pain from the three men, followed by an uncanny silence.
You opened your eyes, seeing the prowler standing where the man in front of you once was with a bloody claw. The three men were laying on the ground, damn near lifeless. Your eyes widened, your mouth parting from the sight. The vigilante stared at you, you could see the eye like symbols displayed on the mask slightly widened at the sight of the hand-mark on your face before recomposing into a stoic, neutral setting. You were too shocked, and mostly scared to say anything.
The figure got closer, to which you could work out was a male. You took note of the two braids cascading down their neck behind the mask, as well as the oddly clean Jordan’s they sported. You didn’t have much time to take in their lanky appearance, as they took a final step towards you, making it so you had to look up at their mask. Their presence loomed over you eerily. You gaped at him, your pleading eyes filled with fear. You knew he wasn’t necessarily a villain per say, closer to the flip side if anything. He did just save you. But the thought of an individual being so much more powerful than you, knowing that at any moment he would always in control no matter what you did, threw your brain into a constant state of unease. Feeling your heart beating out your chest, you raised your hands lightly placing it on their chest to stop them from getting any closer, even though you knew they could easily overpower you no matter what you did. His heartbeat was slow, almost calming to feel. “Please” you whispered, voice barely leaving your larynx.
As quickly as he had come he left. You looked around, finally spotting him lurking on top of the building across from you, crouching along the ledge looking at you. You looked at the Prowler one last time, making eye contact with their mask silently mouthing a ‘thank you’. He flipped away to wherever else he goes, not acknowledging your gratitude. You nearly collapsed, sliding down the wall. Your hands aggressively wiped your face before meeting your hairline, resting there as you breathed ruggedly. The adrenaline you had was wearing off, and the bruises the men left you with became more prominent on your skin, as well as more painful. At least your opinion about the prowler was correct, he was a good guy after all, to you at least.
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Returning to school on Monday was a catastrophe, news spread like wildfire about you being attacked by the three men, as well as your encounter with the Prowler. Random people were approaching you asking what is what like and other random questions revolving around your attack. No one however, was talking about what happened at the party. But you couldn’t blame them, not many people saw what had happened.
It was finally the last period. You wanted nothing more for this to blow over, and for you to be done with the day back in your dorm. You walked in, wavering slightly seeing John leaning on your desk. You noticed Miles sitting in his seat on his phone, eye bags deeper than usual.
You quickly sat down, trying your best to ignore John's attempts to talk to you.
“Y/n please it was an accident-”
You ignored him getting your pencil out of the top zipper of your bag.
“Y/n please just listen I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing you gotta believe me” he leaned toward to take your hand, causing you to flinch and pull back. You looked at him angrily “you think being drunk excuses anything?” Your voice was calm and almost at a whisper despite how you felt, trying your best to draw the least amount of attention. He sighed desperately, “No it doesn’t but you gotta see it from my perspective-” “what perspective John?!? The one where you tried to force yourself on me? Or the one where you tried to take me upstairs against my will? I swear if you come near me again, I won’t hesitate to cut your polla off, comprende?” Ms. Reita asked everyone to take their seats, causing John to look at you solemnly before scoffing and turning to his seat.
You huffed, putting your head between your crossed arms on the table. “What happened at the party?” You looked over to Miles surprised. You hadn’t expected him to ask you any questions, but if he did you figured it would be something about the prowler incident. “Nothin’.” You said dismissively. He looked at you skeptically. Before you could even react, he grabbed your phone off the desk and tucked it in his pocket. “You ain’ gettin’ it back til you tell me what happened.” “Why do you care so much?” “Your wrinkles n’ dark circles look worse than usual, wanna know why.” “Could say the same for you” he looked at you blankly. You sighed, “John got a lil’ too handsy is all, don’t worry ‘bout it. Can I have my phone back-“ “mami, how handsy?” His stern voice caught you off guard. He looked at John's direction for a split second, you could’ve sworn you’d seen Miles look at John with a look of determined death. He looked back at you eyebrows furrowed, “he tried to take me upstairs n’ I wasn’t feelin’ it, so he tried to make me” you uttered, a little quieter towards the end of your sentence. “Left before he could do anything” you finished, “can I get my phone back now?” You looked at him tiredly. He let out a simple huh and gave you your phone back, his full attention now on johns figure ahead in the seat diagonally ahead of him.
The class had been dismissed, luckily Miles had decided to leave you alone today, you were too tired to deal with his antics anyway. Walking over to Mei dismissing John's stare, you two began walking out of the class heading to the lobby so you head back to your dorm room. As you were walking back Mei stopped at a vending machine to get a couple snacks for the dorm so you two could have a movie night. You waited as she inserted her money, clicking which snacks you both liked to buy them. As she was stuffing the snacks in her bag zipping it up, a student screamed “FIGHT”. You looked over seeing a crowd forming and walked over to see what was happening. Bullying your way to the front you saw Miles on top of John, pounding John's blood stricken face damn near permanently into the floor. Your eyes enlarged at the sight. Miles was clearly irate, and from the looks of it, had no plans of stopping. A security guard quickly ran in and grabbed miles off John's limp body. Miles spit at John, yelling something at him in Spanish that you couldn’t hear over the commotion. You looked at John's body, seeing him look almost unconscious as he coughed violently and rested on his elbows, trying to catch his breath. You gaped at Miles, shock written all over your face. His chest rose and fell quickly as he looked around the room seeing all the people watching. His eyes stopped as they met yours, his gaze softening slightly before he looked away. A huff fell from his lips as he was dragged to the principal's office. He jerked his arm away, muttering something about how he knew how to walk.
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John had to be sent to the hospital.
Miles was in the principal's office, sitting silently as John's parents screamed at the principal while Miles’s mother sat next to him upset. “My child is a great kid! And how is he supposed to feel safe in this school anymore knowing this can happen again, huh?” John's mom spewed mindlessly, ranting about how she was going to press charges. Miles scoffed, causing Rio to look at him with a look of “watch your mouth before I watch it for you.” He just looked down at his hands in his lap.
Miles walked out of the classroom to head back to his shared dorm. He couldn’t get out of his mind what John had done to you. As vague as your response was, he knew more had happened between you and John. He didn’t know why it bothered him so deeply, it wasn't even really his business. He knew the thought of someone being touched like that made him upset, but he felt pure outrage from this specifically, and he knew deep in his heart it was because it was because it was you who had gone through it.
As much as he hated to admit it, he knew he felt something different for you when he intervened the night the three men attacked you. He almost added three bodies to his belt, for you.
Usually, as bad as it sounds, he would mostly let people get robbed or thrown around in alleyways. He would help occasionally if it sounded gruesome or of dire need for assistance. But he had to save his city from the sinister six, and petty crimes that were bound to happened weren’t the ideal way to do that. But the voice screaming sounded familiar, kinda sounded like you. The thought of you being in danger offset his nerves, and he knew a you were going to a party that night so he went, just to check.
Sure enough.
He stalked you from above the rest of your walk home just to make sure nothing else happened.
He walked into the lobby consumed by his own thoughts, snapping back to reality as he overheard John talking to his friends about how “y/n finally let me hit, she was so tight-”. He paused in his tracks. Ain’ no way acaba de escuchar lo que pensó que hizo. He turned to the direction of John's voice, this was now his business. He walked over, becoming increasingly irate the more John talked about “how much you loved it”. John turned, hearing footsteps approaching alarming quickly. He saw Miles, John knew Miles had heard about what really happened at the party. John scoffed, somewhat anxious he had been caught in his lie and afraid Miles would try to embarrass him in front of his friends. He quickly spoke before Miles even had the chance to say a word,“You ain’ needed here Miles-” John was cut off by a fist colliding with his face, not what he was expecting at all. Johns friends gasped or yelled in shock, Miles didn’t stop though. Miles didn’t even say anything, small grunts of anger being the only thing leaving his lips as John hit the floor. Miles siguan latiendo la mierda fuera de él.
“What you won't even speak huh?” John's mom said, facing Miles. He furrowed his eyebrows at her. “You wanna send my baby boy to the hospital and have no reason why? Why are you picking on my kid huh? You-” “You think your kid is the best thing on Gods green earth”Miles scoffed, cutting her off. “Cause he is, my kid wouldn’t hurt a fly and you-”“your oh so wonderful kid tried to rape a girl then went around yappin’ bout’ how much she enjoyed it.” The room fell silent. The principal eyes went wide, “Uh-Uhm, how about we resume this tommorow-” “well hold on,” Rio spoke for the first time, “My son intervened and helped someone in danger because their son was making girls unsafe in the school? Why is he being punished?” “Well Mrs.Morales we didn’t know that happened-” “so you immediately assumed my son was the cause of this not even getting evidence before?” “Well he did start-” “uhn-uh, their child is making the school more unsafe than Miles ever did. Why aren’t they being scolded for this?”
The principal apologized, saying Miles would be suspended for the rest of the week for starting the fight, but no charges could be pressed to avoid anybody getting into serious trouble.
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Miles sat in the passenger seat of his moms car, the leather caressing his skin as he looked out the window. A hushed silence had fallen over the two a while ago. Silence is always worse than actually being screamed at, the anticipation is always so suffocating. “So.. who’s the girl?” His mom said, looking at the road ahead. Miles glanced at her before looking back out the window, “classmate.” She nodded, humming. Rio knew her son, and she knew Miles wouldn’t damn near end a kids life just just for some classmate.
“Ella tiene un nombre?” He sighed lightly, “Y/n.” Rio nodded and hummed again, looking at miles through the corner of her eye. “At some point throughout the week, I expect her over for dinner.” “I don’t even have her number, how is she supposed to know” Rio clicked her teeth and smirked,
“Encontrarás una manera”.
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©axeoverblade
5K notes · View notes
dazed-hee · 2 months
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୨ৎ — With Love, Sunghoon
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pairing: non-idol!sunghoon x fem-reader
synopsis: Almost is sometimes never enough, Sunghoon needed a tutor and Y/N needed the extra credit. What happens when two failed lovers meet again after years of running away and misunderstandings?
w/c: 23.3K :o
tags: teacher x teacher, friends to lovers TO EXES to enemies to lovers… HAHAH. first love, baby baby (?) angst, sunghoon kinda a dick, then he turns into a loser LOL, lots of gussy gussy fluff at the end, niki and jungwon cameo as hoon’s gremlins. And yes hoon blonde obsession.
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a/n: oh em gee, its been MONTHS (since last may actually🤓). been so busy with irl stuff and other responsibilities I've neglected dazed-hee </3. BUT pls expect more content to come out soon because I am stressed and writing helps me destress HAHAHA. ending is not how I would like but I honestly did not want to scrap this fic and start a new ): this is little fic was supposed to be a present for my hoon girlie @hoonvrs AND IT STILL IS! i hope everyone enjoys and pls lml what you think! ALSO With Love Series going on mini break bc I have so so many ideas I want to write about I can't be limited to this series ASDAKJSD
With Love Series
likes & reblogs are encouraged thank you!!
“So class I’m happy to say you don’t have any homework this weekend.” You sighed, placing all the files you went through from the past hour on the side as the class cheered lightly,  some even clapping at the thought of a free weekend mixed with fun and more studying.. 
“But—” you interjected, biting back a small smile as some of them instantly stopped cheering; some even holding in groans while you pointed at the calendar on the wall. 
“Don’t be surprised if you walk into class Monday with a quiz on your desk about cell biology and functions.” You hastily announced, a slight grin on your face finally hearing the groans and complaints travel through the room, quickly turning around you began cleaning the whiteboard while bidding goodbye to your students. 
“Hey be happy it wasn’t a real pop quiz— and I told you what unit it’s going to be about!” You reasoned out loud in the hall, smiling at some of the girls in your class who argued it was guys in the back doing most of the complaining. Compared to the other teachers you felt like you were quite lenient with the students, making class and learning as interactive and fun as possible. Being one of the youngest teachers you made it your job to sympathize with the students since you were in their position not that long ago. 
“Ah wait–” You called out, grabbing onto two sneaky individuals hiding behind the girls on the way out. 
“I need you two to stay back for an hour of tutoring starting next week. If you don’t you won’t have a passing grade for eligibility.” You warned. 
“Ms.Kim please our coach moved practice to after school hours and he’s been really strict about being there.” the boy plead, his eyes glistening brightly looking down at you. 
“Well Jungwon maybe we shouldn’t have failed the last unit exam and for you Niki— start doing corrections you’ll earn half your points back.” You nodded toward the other who was sulking softly. You knew the pressures and tight schedules student-athletes went through and you honestly felt bad, the two weren’t even doing terribly you just wanted to make sure they had leisure with their grades when it came to eligibility check. 
“What about I have a talk with your Coach and have him push back practice by an hour or something, I’m only doing this for the two of you; trust me I know what it feels like.” You sighed patting their shoulders as they nodded to your offer. Heading to the faculty room you were greeted by other teachers finishing up for the day, you weren’t sure who this new coach was but practice usually took place early mornings. Partly so it doesn’t run into afterschool activities and studying sessions but also because the weather was more favorable most of the time. 
“Ms.Kim, how are you today?” Your boss greeted you by the printer, greeting her back with a smile you saw the way some of the female coworkers were actively glancing out the window, chatting amongst each other with shy grins painting their lips. 
“I’m doing good Mrs.Go, just printing out a few practice sheets for tutoring starting soon.” 
The older lady nodded at you with a warm smile, when you first got the job a little over two years ago Ms.Go stepped up as the new principal from her vice position. You’ve always felt welcomed because of her and she always had nothing but good and encouraging things to say to and about you.
“I’m glad you’ve found your pacing with the students, I get nothing but compliments from them and their parents— keep up the good work.” she rubbed your shoulder softly bidding you goodbye. Shaking out a small sigh you stood tapping the table as the beeping of the machine printed what felt like endless amounts of pages.
“Oh my god he’s so good-looking.” 
“Did you see when he was running with the students earlier?”
“I heard he’s the new literature teacher who’s also coaching the basketball team.” 
Gathering your things you acknowledged your coworker's excited expressions; curiosity overtaking as you made your way to the window to see what all the fuss was about, all you could see were the student-athletes running back inside towards the gym. A flash of blonde catches your eye before forcing yourself to peel away knowing there were lots to do and students to expect soon.
Seeing a few students greet you on the way back to class had your shoulders high in pride at the familiar faces of kids you’ve tutored before. Many of them respected you as a teacher but also saw you as a friend— well most. 
“Ms.Kim!” turning at the group of boys your brow raised as a few of them offered to help carry the stack of papers you were gripping back to class, their shoulders bumping against each other to gain your attention which only prompted a short scoff under your breath. Being one of the younger teachers you also noticed the uncanny amount of attention you received from students, girls asking for advice about dating and what to look forward to in college while the boys were being— well boys.
“Coach is looking for you guys, something about wanting to run another lap.” cutting between them you were glad Jungwon showed up when he did, brows furrowed slightly at some of them murmuring lowly to each other. After everyone left the boy greeted you with a dimple, one you saw frequently in class from what you recalled.
“I talked to Coach and I don’t think he’s willing to push back practice.” You heard him sigh, placing the stack of paper he insisted to carry on your desk as you pushed your fingers into the back of your dress pants.
“Well I would love to talk to your Coach, he knows if you and Niki don’t qualify for eligibility you won’t be able to play till the next check, right?” Your voice confused with shock seeing the boy nod with a conflicted expression on his face. 
“Where’s Niki?” You asked softly sitting at your desk checking the time on your wristwatch knowing students were going to show up anytime soon. 
“He’s distracting Coach Park while I’m here.” 
“Well tell Coach Park, when he’s done with practice to come to my class.” You ordered him, filing some notes in the file cabinet before standing up heading to the lab stations. With a nod Jungwon left swiftly, his sneakers squeaking against the tile floor as you leaned against the table, appreciating the evening sun seeping through the tall windows lining the class walls with your eyes closed. 
A knock on your door pulled you from your thoughts realizing some of your students came for their quick tutoring session. “Alright, should we get started?” You greeted them, a feeling of sentiment washed over you. 
It was bittersweet in a way. 
“Ms.Kim we’re almost done with the worksheet!” 
“Okay once you’re done just leave it on my desk and you three are free to leave.” You nodded, going back to the rows of beakers and test tubes you were prepping for the planned lab on Monday. You’ve always loved science, being a biochemist double major in college, you’re practically a pro at handling bunsen burners and microscopes. You weren’t sure when you decided to be a teacher and to be completely fair, you’ve never thought to be one when asked about your future endeavors as a kid.
But maybe it was from the multiple classmates you’ve tutored as a side job and extra credit, you found you had a talent for working with others and teaching them what you’ve mastered best. The satisfaction of seeing others click with the information and concepts you present always made you proud, proud that they could grasp complex ideas, and proud that you were an influence and part of the reason why. Nostalgia overtook your thoughts recalling back about your college days, from friends to strangers and those in between. 
Brushing your fingers against the clear tubes absentmindedly, a bitter smile took your lips— almosts were never enough sometimes. It was nearing five in the evening and you were finishing the final touches to each station carefully, making sure all the lab equipment was properly placed for the students, by now the ones who came have left and you were here alone in your thoughts.
“I heard you wanted to speak with me about something?” You heard someone call from the door, slightly muffled as you were quickly packing up the mess you made from preparations into the table cabinets below. 
“Yeah actually, it’s about your afternoon practices—” You replied slightly vexed, none of the other coaches have changed their practice hours so you weren’t sure why the basketball team in particular did. 
“I won’t be able to change or push back practice since that’s the only time that works for us.” huffing out a sigh you quickly set the extra box of test tubes back into their protective cases in the lower cabinets. 
“Okay well, you know if your athletes don’t qualify for eligibility they won’t be able to play correct?” confused as to why you weren’t getting a response you stood up with a huff. Your eyes widened while your words jumbled to get out, realizing who the new coach was and who you were talking to. 
It’s been a while, years to be exact since you last had eyes on him. He was blonde now, and it fit him well; just as tall as you remember taking in the way he was leaning against the door frame with his hands shoved in track pants. His slightly raised shoulders and wide eyes told you he was just as surprised to see you, a stoic expression overtaking his shocked one when he straightened his posture. 
He was exactly the same as he was before, but so different. 
“Sunghoon?” his name became foreign to you over time, like a bitter fruit you bit into and wished to forget. A wave of emotions swirled across your face you were sure of it. His eyes flickered around the classroom and a small sigh could be heard through the thick tension that had formed between you two. 
“Looks like you’re doing well,” he mumbled jingling the keys in his pockets as he watched your frown deepen further. 
“I’m not changing practice times Y/N, don’t ask me again.” his voice was firm and cold, you saw the way his eyes flickered over you once more before turning to leave.
After your brief conversation with Sunghoon, he left you standing there questioning if what just happened— really happened. With both of your hands gripping the table behind you, the sound of him making his way through the hall confirmed that it was indeed Sunghoon.
Park Sunghoon whom you fell in love with in college, Park Sunghoon who also broke your heart as well. It was him. He was the new coach that is already causing trouble the same way he did back then in your mundane life.
“Alright and the enzymes only react during the active site, get it?” Tapping your pen against the desk you sighed out of relief seeing your classmate nod enthusiastically finally understanding the unit concepts from the past lectures. It was warm, with the University library lined with large windows you wouldn’t be able to get a good nap here without the bright sun bearing down on your back, that’s why people nap in the reserved study rooms instead.
“So if the enzymes are heated or enter a different pH environment what happens then?” You asked carefully— there was no hope for the kid but for extra credit, your professor offered you to tutor students. You could only hope a higher being blessed you with the ability to input knowledge into these empty vessels because fuck; how were people this bad at studying? 
“They become unnaturalized?” She answered unconfidently, eyes lighting up seeing how your head tilted giving her a slight sound of approval. It was wrong but at least it was close.
“Close, denatured,” closing the workbook you nodded slightly acknowledging this was a lot better than when you first began tutoring her. “Keep studying like this and you’ll be caught up before the final in no time.” You smiled softly as she quickly packed her things. 
Oh, the things you did for extra credit, from extra lab hours to volunteer research assignments you needed every single point you could gain to balance out the fact you had no extracurricular and social hours to back up your pretty GPA. 
“Thank you Y/N it feels so good to finally understand what’s going on in class.” she gratefully thanked you, gripping the extra workbooks you recommended to her enthusiastically. With a smile, you bid her goodbye before peering back down at your laptop to see what you had next— a meeting with your professor. 
“I must say the classmates you are tutoring have been improving quite a bit, slowly but surely.” Your professor said looking at his notes with a satisfied nod. It was true, it started with your friend Naeun who was failing before despite passing with flying colors now. You now tutored kids who weren’t even from your own lecture, some in different years even.
 “If there are any other students you need me to tutor I’ll be more than happy to take them during my free time.” You added quickly, rubbing your palms against your jeans to mask the shake in your leg from his peripheral. 
Before he could answer, a knock on the door caused you to turn as a rather tall boy came in with a guitar case in one hand and a packet of papers in the other. With his hair messily put together he looked like every other boy in your class, but the moment his eyes met yours you quickly shifted back into your seat; trying your best to avoid the heat running through your face. 
“Professor Lee I’m here to talk about my exam..” he announced demeaningly. You could only watch as the older male stood up, pulling the boy to sit beside you in the empty seat while you shifted looking at the grade on his recent exam. 
Yikes.
“Sunghoon this is Y/N she’s in your lecture and also one of my tutors.” you reluctantly nodded toward him in acknowledgment as he did the same. “She’s one of my best students and I’m asking her to tutor you in hopes it’ll bring your grade up so you can pass the class.” With wide eyes, you glanced at Sunghoon, a hand rubbing the nape of his neck assuming he was weighing out the options he didn’t really have. 
“And you know you need to pass the class to graduate Sunghoon, I advise you to do your best with Y/N or you’ll run into big trouble once finals come.” He sighed, gathering his things while glancing at the clock on the wall. While bidding the two of you goodbye, you faintly heard him whisper to the boy a small ‘be nice to her’ before the door closed shut. Picking up your bag you pulled your phone out looking at your rather busy calendar for an open spot in your schedule. 
“I’m free every Tuesday Wednesday and Friday in the late afternoon, just pick two days and let me know before next week. Or you could tell Professor Lee and he’ll relay the info to me.” you could only give him a shy smile despite him sitting there blinking at you. With an awkward nod, you gave him one last forced grin before making your way toward the door.
“Wait!” His sudden exclamation startled you slightly, a quizzical stare greeting him while your fingers were already grazing the cold door handle.
“Where are you going right now?” He briefly asked, adjusting the grip on his guitar case while stuffing his exam back into his backpack. 
“The library.”
“I’ll come with.” 
Your solo studying session today suddenly turned into a plus one, watching as your new friend pull his things from his bag, you failed to hold the slight snicker earning his curiosity. Shrugging at his raised brow, you opened your laptop pulling out a practice workbook with a smile.
“Could’ve fooled me with that study setup if you never told me you were failing Biology.” You nodded at his set of pencils and eraser neatly placed in front of him, his frown turning into a grin knowing you were right, unfortunately. 
“Listen I’m good at everything but science, it might be hard to imagine but I’m a TA for my English professor.” he boasted proudly, sitting up in his seat as you smiled humming in acknowledgment. 
“Oh and to answer your question from earlier, I’m able to do Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I just finished an important project so I should be available a lot more often now.” He politely added, taking in your gaze as you nodded slowly before turning back to your workbook. 
After an hour of studying you noticed Sunghoon was actually quite diligent, not getting distracted by his phone nor did he daze into space even you’d catch yourself doing at times. If this was your conclusion then you weren’t sure where his problem was that had him failing— terribly. 
“That’s wrong.” You softly stopped him, pointing at the question he’s been working on for the past couple of minutes after seeing the frustrated expression overtake his face promptly. 
“I’m not good with genetics, I get the whole structure and basic….stuff, but once it gets to this I get lost.” He admitted running his fingers through his hair. Peeling your gaze away from the mole beside his jaw you coughed before opening up your notes.
“From what I see you're making it way more difficult than it should be—” You started, pulling your chair beside his before sliding your tablet across the table with a holistic breakdown of the concepts you took notes on for the genetics unit. After a few minutes of explaining and correcting his question, you allowed him to scroll through your notes a little longer, grinning at the fascinated look in his eye as he complimented the way your notes looked. 
“I can send you the notes later if you like them that much.” You chuckled, scooting your chair back after feeling his elbow graze your own, a little too close you figured. Hearing no response your eyes naturally found his again realizing he was looking between you and the space now in between. Once he realized you were waiting for a response, he pushed your tablet toward you quickly, his pen tapping against the table softly with a nod.
“Please if you don’t mind, I don’t know how you have time to do them like that they’re really nice.” He complimented, checking his phone before handing it to you with the contacts app opened. “Well I don’t do much of anything else so I have a lot of time to spare.” You snickered. 
“Oh come on, nothing? Like nothing seriously?” He asked you again, holding back a wide grin noting your name displayed on the screen along with your number. “Why do I look like I do a lot of stuff?” You questioned, his nod surprising you somewhat. 
“Yeah I mean, our classmates always say how fun and nice you are to be around so I just assumed,” he explained truthfully, from what he’s heard, a lot of your classmates had nothing but good things to say to you. 
“I only go out with a few of my close friends from time to time but seeing that you pretty much—”  glancing at his duffle bag you assumed was for whatever club he was a part of and his guitar case beside it; you could tell he was a busy man. “ —you literally do everything, it could look like not much for you.” You smiled genuinely. 
“Well trust me when I say I rather have a few things to focus on over this,” he emphasized, nodding toward all his things, earning a wholehearted laugh from you quickly disagreeing. 
“Yeah? I really wish I could put myself out there like that, I’m tutoring to make up for the fact I don’t do anything else but study.” You shook your head, playing with the pen between your fingers with your gaze set on the sunlighy shining on the table.
“Well I wish I didn’t do all of–”
“Don’t lie.” You cut him off, turning towards him quickly causing the both of you to laugh softly, your lips turned into a grin as you forcefully peeled your gaze away from his dimple that caught your eye. Sunghoon could only admire you from the side, smugly grinning at how you’d get so shy from meeting his gaze while your fingers busied themselves playing with the pages from your notebook. 
He understood why all the guys on the team wanted you as their tutor, what was better than a pretty girl spending her evening with you in the library or cafe? Your cute flustered expression when he smiled at you or when he caught you smiling back, it all made sense to him. Sunghoon made a mental note to inform the others you weren’t looking for any more tutees, and he only hoped they will believe him.
When he was called into the professor's office he really thought it was the end for him, with graduation around the corner and a science class holding him back from sweet victory; nervousness was an understatement. Shitting his pants would’ve been a better way to describe the feeling pooling in his gut when he saw a big red 43 plastered on the recent unit exam. But when he saw your small confused face peering up at him he knew he lucked out this time. 
You were known to take kids who look like they don’t have a single thought behind their eyes and tutor them into high B passing students. He was sure anyone else tutoring him would’ve helped with an extra brain processing his mistakes, but he was glad it was you. 
Third week of tutoring and you noted Sunghoon worked hard— and worked harder when he knew there was a reward for his accomplishments. A coffee stop before class or a meal before practice, you kept your promise and rewarded him for the commitment you knew he put in. What started as a reward for his improving quiz grades turned into what you felt was a normalized occurrence.
‘Wanna grab a meal from the cafeteria? I’ll drop you off after.’
‘Let’s meet before class for a bit, I want to see you.’
‘Are you free later today? We should go watch that new movie you were talking about.’
He explained it was just the athlete in him addicted to the dopamine he got when he succeeded, specifically doing good in class; but you argued it was just a way for him to trick you to agree into doing things he wanted. Hell he didn’t even know how dopamine worked up until last week’s study session. 
“Sunghoon you can literally ask for anything else, I’ll even buy you dinner again just not this.” You sighed, holding up the singular ticket he presented you as his wish for earning a 90 on his exam; the highest he’s received yet. 
“Y/N you said I can ask for whatever I wanted.” he pointed out, tapping the back of your seat with his fingers watching you groan at the thought of attending this weekend. 
“This is seriously what you want?” watching his court nod your lips pressed in a tight line before sighing in defeat. A promise is a promise, and you were one to keep promises. 
“Fine just please study this well for the next exam coming up.” You didn’t earn a response, but the cheeky dimple and upturned brows told you that if studying well meant pulling you to do things like attending his game to support him— Sunghoon promised to turn into Einstien. He’ll be reborn as Issac Newton himself if that’s what it took. 
“Oh and—” turning back to him your eyes widened slightly feeling his fingers graze against your back, a simple action you still haven’t grown used to lately. “Sunghoon, no.” you refused shaking your head wholeheartedly, seeing him pull out a jersey from his duffle bag with a smirk on his face as he laughed to himself.
“You didn’t even let me explain.” He reasoned, eyes twinkling watching you continue to disagree, mumbling about how ridiculous this was since you already agreed to even go in the first place. 
“Y/N how weird would it be to show up and not show off who you’re supporting?” He hummed, pushing his jersey from last year over to your side. “Hoon I think people are gonna think it’s weird regardless.” You whispered, knowing the type of people he was around would already view it odd you came in the first place. Sunghoon was someone you thought you’d only admire from afar, his likable personality and seemingly good looks made a memorable first impression not only on you but apparently to every living— breathing eligible girl on campus.
The looks and whispers anyone with a working brain would dread were to be expected if you walked into that stadium with his jersey, you were already getting looks from simply walking with him to class. 
Sunghoon was just someone you weren’t supposed to mingle with, as crazy as it sounded; opposites weren’t supposed to attract. There were plenty of girls in his social circle you knew were interested in him— it just felt wrong, scary even that you and Sunghoon were this close. 
“Hey…don’t think like that,” He reassured you, brushing a few strands of hair away while you stared at him, admiring the pinches of electricity shifting across your cheek when his fingertips grazed against your skin. In the many weeks you and Sunghoon have hung out, you realized he was a lot different from what you assumed. 
He was sensitive; you concluded that when he received his first quiz two weeks after your first session. His grade wasn’t— what the two of you were aiming for, and it was evident in his expression how disappointed he was in himself. After your constant reassurance that learning was about process and progress; not instant results, you grew to appreciate his soft grin and high shoulders that were filled with confidence and motivation. 
But he was also very attentive, even on days you didn’t feel your best Sunghoon was always understanding without having to say anything. And you were grateful, you tend to hold back and push through with plans even when you didn’t feel in the best shape, especially for your tutees. Sunghoon didn’t jest around much on days he saw you weren’t responding how you usually did, and he still managed to find time to ask if you were okay. Cheering you up in ways that had your cheeks flushing and heart racing. 
It was like skinship came naturally for the two of you, what started off as friendly nudges and taps on the arm shifted to his hand casually drawing lines on your back, your fingers tracing the veins on his arm or your shoulders casually touching while sitting beside one another. Things just felt comfortable with him, you realized that the one day the two of you were at his apartment, the library was starting to become a distraction but looking back— you weren’t sure if his place was much better.
While working on genomes and thermodynamics the two of you often shared snacks with one another, however when your eyes caught his pink lips around your bottle of coke you realized then and there that you and Sunghoon were more than tutor and tutee, more than friends. He made that known when you felt the same pink lips press a kiss on your temples after bidding you goodbye, making sure you made it inside your condo before he left, a small pep in his step noted while catching one last glimpse at him.
“Just think about it, hm?” he nodded toward you, bottom lip pulled between his teeth watching you roll your eyes before stuffing the jersey in your bag, ushering him to continue studying much to his resistance. 
“So are you gonna wear his jersey?” your friend sang with a smirk ghosting her lips, watching you hastily fix your hair in the mirror that she quickly helped you with not that long ago, fixing the top you picked to avoid that exact question purposely. It was the day of his game and you were already running slightly (really) behind schedule from a last-minute tutoring session you were asked to do despite making sure to state this weekend— you were unavailable. 
The game started a couple of minutes ago and it would take almost thirty minutes for you to get to the arena.
“Do I look good?” You asked her nervously, palms clammy against your jeans realizing what you got yourself into. 
“You look cute babe, Sunghoon is gonna miss every three-pointer with you in the crowd.” She joked, yelping in response when a dry shampoo bottle was thrown her way. “Naeun I’m serious, people are already gonna look at me weird for being there— the least you can do is make sure nothing is stuck between my teeth.” You whined, checking yourself in the mirror again out of pure paranoia.
“Y/N the only reason why they’ll be looking at you is because the Y/N is there for Park Sunghoon, so go! You’re late already.”
“Your seat is in row 4, enjoy! Go Cougs!” Awkwardly grabbing the ticket you were greeted by rows and rows of students cheering for the ongoing game, it was almost halftime and the team was a little under fifteen points. Excusing yourself through the crowd— you realized where exactly Sunghoon’s extra ticket landed you. 
Maneuvering through, you did your best to ignore the glances from some of the girls you recognized, they were people who frequently hung around the team; people whose crowd you weren’t a part of. Gratefully you weren’t seated beside any of them but figured this was the guest section for the team, you saw both students and family seated in the area. 
“Oh? Are you here for Sunghoon hyung?” A voice pulled you from your observation, glancing down you noted a younger boy looking up at you; dressed in your school colors with a sticker decorating his rather full cheek— a slushy in one hand and a pretzel in the other. He was cute, his wide eyes waiting for your answer as you smiled at how adorable he looked. 
“What made it obvious?” You asked him in a whisper, giggling slightly when his eyes crinkled in a smile pointing back at you. 
“Y/N!” Sunghoon’s sudden voice made you snap your gaze to the court, your eyes meeting his almost instantly. Breathing was human nature, a biological process of the body responding to your blood oxygen levels with an automatic retort that you’re born with instantly; yet somehow when you see Sunghoon every now and then, you forget how to breathe sometimes. 
The few strands of hair sticking against his temples distract you from his absolutely dazzling smile and shining eyes that grew in size making you smile shyly. Glancing down, you coughed awkwardly, feeling his jersey's smooth fabric against your fingers. Before heading out the door, the white jersey caught your eye and had you changing in the livingroom before leaving.
You were here for Sunghoon and you wanted him to feel like you were too, and by the deep dimple showcasing on his face, you knew you made the right decision. 
Raising your brow— you quirked your head towards the scoreboard, you didn’t need to say anything because Sunghoon knew exactly what you meant from your expression alone. 
‘You invited me to your game just to lose?’ snickering at the way drops of sweat shook from the tips of his hair, you scoffed watching his shoulders raise proudly when a few of his teammates noted your presence in the crowd. You were never one to be interested in sports, but after another quarter into the game; you were one of the many that were standing in your seat, watching the tick of the clock count down and the score narrow with each pass on the court. 
“Sunghoon..” You whispered, fingers clutching in anxiety noting the clock hitting the twenty-second mark, he needed to shoot a three-pointer for the team to finally take the lead and ultimately win the game. With his eyes darting across the court Sunghoon has never felt this much pressure in his whole entire life. The game was whatever, he had plenty more games to play and win, but the past few months have been hell for him. 
With graduation around the corner, he didn’t really have any more time to ‘play’ on the court, plans after graduation? No clue. Did he have enough credits to actually graduate? Another problem at a later time. Was the girl he’s been dying to ask out finally warming up to him? Well... 
Meeting you has been one of the best if not the best thing that has happened to him in a while, not only were you practically carrying him to the graduation finish line, you seemed to make even the unexpected— exciting, comforting even. Things just got more bearable for him since you’ve been around.
Even now with the whole fate of the game twirling between his fingers, he couldn’t help but smile knowing you were there in the crowd, there for him. The moment he saw you sitting in his jersey he knew these feelings weren’t just mere lingering feelings that come and go, what a plot twist you were. 
“Sunghoon!” Your voice always caught his attention, even now in a crowd of roaring support or those who wished for the opposite, it was like he could only hear you. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he first walked into the professor's office that one day, but he wouldn’t wish for it any other way. 
“Sunghoon shoot the fucking ball?!” Blinking at your unexpected exclamation his body automatically did what he did best, react in stressful situations— muscle memory from what he recalled you teaching him. With the sound of the ball rolling around the rim, Sunghoon could only let out a sigh of relief when the roar from the student section doubled, quadrupled even after the basketball bounced on the court after scoring the final basket. 
They fucking won.
Jumping from excitement you finally understood why people attend games in person, the experience was so different, exhilarating. It was like regardless of who you were, everyone was there cheering for the same thing, even the girls who were looking at you earlier were cheering with you, bright smiles filled with pride and joy despite how indifferent they were to you earlier. 
In the midst of the crowd, you made your way through the bodies of people making sure to say goodbye to the small boy who accompanied you during the game. You were grateful he made sure to explain the rules of the court— it only made things easier to catch on. Gasping in shock, you felt someone grab your wrist stopping you hastily, Sunghoon. 
“Congrats on winning Hoon!” You cheered, smiling widely as other students and teammates congratulated him with pats on the back and chants of victory. “It’s hard not to when someone yelling at me from the stands, ‘Sunghoon shoot the fucking ball!’ ” he mocked jokingly, his fingers finding the slim of your wrist after you brought your hands up to push his shoulder. With your eyes glued on each other, you couldn’t help but grin softly as you felt his fingers melt down your wrist and between your own. Even with the chaos around the two of you, with him, things felt like the way they should be.
A comfort you never felt with anyone else in midst of what used to be unfamiliarity. You found yourself following Sunghoon to the celebration after, your laughs filling the night sky as the two of you sat on the rooftop of the science building; looking over a lit-up field filled with Uni students drinking in victory. The cool breeze tickled your lashes as you took in the smell of flowers and plants that lined the railings and wooden pergola that was decorated with string lights. You’ve been here a few times for a couple of labs and projects, legs dangling over the side admiring the sound of distant music from the field afar.
“You take all girls you talk to here after your games?” rolling the bottle of beer between your palms, you raised a brow when he hesitated, his dark ones furrowed as a contemplating hum left his lips. Gapping you slid over slightly, mumbling in disbelief ignoring his chuckle promising he was just joking. 
“You might be like…the third?” He continued, scratching the nape of his neck watching your eyes double in size before you nodded to his honest answer. “So, who was it?” You asked nonchalantly. 
“To be honest I don’t think Sieun counts if she was my lab partner last semester, right?” he sighed, attempting to grab your hand only to be pushed away quickly. Sunghoon loved this part of you, trying your best to hide the relief in your eyes by shaking off the hand he purposely placed on your shoulder. It was cute, your slightly upset expression and groans accompanied by puffed-out cheeks, he loved it all. 
“Sieun?” You repeated, recognizing her as a classmate from your past Chemistry course. You didn’t notice but his eyes were trailing across your shoulders that rose absentmindedly from realization, taking the chance to move closer his lips bit back a smile— glad that your eyes were finally looking up at him. 
Turning away with a cough, you were able to catch yourself before falling right into his little charm, if it wasn’t Sieun there was still another girl who was here before you he hasn’t mentioned. It seemed stupid really, what were you expecting— someone like Sunghoon had girls waiting for him around the corner at every class, he was different from you. It was stupid for you to ask the question knowing you weren’t going to like the answer.
“I guess Professor Oh doesn’t count either— she was the one who lead us up here for the whole experiment and all.” he finally stated, with a sly smile his chuckle rang in your ear watching you realize he was messing with you the whole time. Much to your horror you were glad that was the truth.
With your legs swinging over the side, you flinched slightly when the breeze blew against your skin. It was pretty chilly that night and in a rush you forgot to grab the jacket you had laid out on the couch. The sound of Sunghoon shuffling pulled you back into the moment as you watched him shrug off his varsity jacket, placing it over your shoulders much to your dismay. 
Muttering a small ‘thanks’, you giggled when Sunghoon nudged your side with his elbow, making it annoyingly obvious he wasn’t going to move away anytime soon, you were used to this, his little antics that always had you smiling to the point the apples of your cheeks ached. “Thanks for coming today Y/N— I mean it really.” he softly muttered meeting your eyes that smiled back at him. 
“Of course, I came— I told you I keep promises.” You whispered back, your smiling fading slowly feeling his finger slowly grab onto yours.
“So if you promise to keep coming to my games…you will?” he challenged, gripping your hand softly as you nodded firmly. 
“And you promise we’ll keep studying together, even after the next exam?” 
“Only if you want to Hoon.”
“Then can you promise—” he paused; bringing your intertwined fingers up to his lips, the glint in his eye shining brighter than the string lights that could be mistaken as fireflies above you. It was a feeling you’ve never felt before, you wonder at times if meeting Sunghoon in these circumstances was a coincidence, maybe if you weren’t so different from him you wouldn’t think this was all a mistake. But in moments like this, when it was just the two of you in each other’s ambiance and warmth you hoped those mistakes only took you to the right place— with Sunghoon.
“Promise we’ll stay like this.” his words echoing as the two of you sat gazing at each other intently, his thumb rubbing circles around your skin as you nodded softly with a small smile. How strange was this you thought, sitting here with him felt like a dream— but you were wide awake. Feeling him lean in slightly; your fingers gripped his as the warmth of his sigh cascaded across your cheek, his bangs tickling your forehead feeling his nose brushed against yours softly. Inhaling softly you gasp when his lip touched yours ever so gently, his mole you’ve only glanced at when he wasn’t looking was staring right at you.
“Yo Sunghoon! You going to that party later this week?” A sudden voice surprised you from down below, pulling away quickly you chugged a gulp of beer eyeing the frat symbol on the jacket the boy was wearing. “Yeah, it’s Jay’s birthday, right? Think I promised a friend I was going.” he huffed out, slightly unamused from the disruption leaning on the side with one hand. 
“Hey Y/N…” the guy greeted, his smile hinting a teasing tone before walking away quickly back towards the field. “You should come this weekend it’ll be fun, promise?” You heard him whisper, his lip brushing the shell of your ear softly and you had no choice but to nod.
 And you truly wished you didn’t.
The weekend came in a blink of an eye and you found yourself surrounded by classmates you’ve seen around but never got the chance to mingle with. You would’ve never guessed you’d be asking Naeun for help picking an outfit for tonight but you found yourself not believing in a lot of things when it came to Sunghoon. 
“Waiting for me?” You heard someone say from behind, his familiar warmth spreading across your back as a smile made its way to your lips. “Sunghoon.” You whispered, turning to embrace him as you admired his styled-up hair and simple grin. 
All sense of insecurity washed away feeling him pull you in a hug, greeting his friends passing by with a bright smile as you held your drink over his shoulders; a red cup in one hand while the other patted him softly. You couldn’t help but laugh feeling him turn you in different directions to say hello to everyone greeting him. He was here with you, and he made sure to make that painfully obvious. 
Since that night on the rooftop, neither you nor Sunghoon addressed the almost kiss the two of you shared—embarrassment on your part and your gut, more like Naeun’s input, told you it was gonna happen tonight…something was. At this point, it’s been a few months since you and Sunghoon have grown close, and your feelings have grown over time and so have his affections around you. 
Sunghoon wasn’t afraid to make it known you were with him, whether it be holding your hand as the two of you walked on campus or stopping by classes to pick you up after lectures. He’s made a home in your apartment and you could only wonder where things would lead for the two of you if he just popped the question.
“Sunghoon the girl you showed up with just ran out.” You heard his friend whisper, his eyes suddenly darting around before pulling out his phone. You knew Sunghoon came with a friend, and you couldn’t help but worry as well seeing how panicked he was scrolling through his contacts. You’ve seen her around before, a music major— you guessed the two of them knew each other from a class or club. 
“Hey can you stay here and wait for me? I’ll make it quick I promise baby.” You heard him hastily whisper, leaving you standing there nodding absentmindedly as he made his way through the crowd. 
When twenty minutes turned into an hour, you found yourself sitting on the couch, checking your phone in hopes of seeing his name pop up asking where you were in the unfamiliar place. Your heart immediately jumped feeling the buzz of your notification ignoring the way the people around you were wondering why you were suddenly sitting alone, silently alone after socializing with others not that long ago. 
“Naeun?” You answered quietly, digging your fingers into the fabric of the couch as you tried to tune out the mix of music and voices you couldn’t seem to understand from around you. 
“I’m at the party waiting for Sunghoon but—” You flinched; yelping when someone jumped over you— laughing a hasty ‘sorry’. You reassured her you were fine but by the way your voice was trembling, she knew you were lying. 
Biting your lip you could hear her concern laced voice asking you again if you were okay. Naeun offered to come along but you assured her Sunghoon would take care of you, Sunghoon would be here for you, Sunghoon—-
“Hey you’re here with Park right?” an unfamiliar voice pulled you away from call, a faint ‘I’m on my way’ brushing past your ears. Nodding, your eyes widened in realization it was Sunghoon’s friend from earlier. Naeun had hung up long ago and despite ignoring the male trying to pull you into a conversation, your mind couldn’t help but drift wondering where Sunghoon disappeared off to.
“I’m honestly surprised Sunghoon kept you around for how long he did.” Snapping your attention back to the man, your furrowed brows were enough to tell him he finally piqued your interest. “Sunghoon left a while ago with some girl, she wasn’t the one who he showed up with but he seemed pretty happy to leave.” The male shrugged, your head shaking in disbelief taking another look at your phone still cleared of notifications. 
“No he said he was coming right back— he promised.” You argued softly, tensing when you felt him throw an arm over your shoulder before a red cup disrupted your view. 
You weren’t sure how many cups you’d had since then, the colored lights blurring together while your cheek was leaned against whoever the fuck was closest to you. Naeun was nowhere to be seen and you could feel the alcohol hitting your system harder than it ever had before. Sunghoon still wasn’t here, you didn’t want to believe he left you here for another girl— but with no text and no sign of him anywhere, maybe it was true. His friend from earlier seemed to have disappeared as well, your last memory of him was asking you to take another shot before someone else piqued his interest. 
“Y/N. Y/N stand up.” Shaking your head you threw your arm over the familiar girl who mumbled to whoever was next to you in annoyance. 
“Sunghoon—” 
“He’s not coming let’s go.” You heard her firmly say, dragging you carefully out of the house with your feet tripping over themselves down the stairs. Catching a brief view of the clock you realized it’s been four hours since Sunghoon said he’d be back. 
“Naeun let go he’s coming back!” 
“Y/N he’s not! I asked around while looking for you and they said he fucking left a while ago, he’s not coming so snap out of it.” she struggled to say, her teeth gritting together from dragging you to sit on the curbside watching the realization settle in your eyes he really did leave with someone else—when he promised. 
You were prepared for this, sort of, someone like Sunghoon was just never made to be with someone like you, it was too good to be true. 
You ready for this,or so you thought, the utter realization that maybe this was all fun and games for him until he got bored and moved onto the next. 
You expected this, though you wished for it to never happen, yet somehow it still hurt.
“He promised.” You whispered, a tear escaping down your cheek as Naeun stood there in pity, slowly engulfed in the cloud of grief overtaking your eyes and mind— and all she could do was hope the pain would go away, or so she promised, but since that night you weren’t too sure about promises anymore.
“Ms Kim!” 
“I’m so sorry, is everyone done with the quiz?” You asked while standing from your desk, smiling at the students who nodded in unison as you collected the sheets of paper passed to the front in stacks. You’ve had a rough weekend, on top of preparing for the upcoming faculty meeting you were still processing the reality that Sunghoon was indeed the new teacher in the literature department—and the new coach. With the bell ringing you dismissed everyone who seemed to be in high spirits after hearing that you weren’t assigning any homework for today. 
Sitting back down you hummed in acknowledgment seeing both Jungwon and Niki by your desk, the coffee you had earlier cold in your palms grinning at the both of them shifting in their place nervously. After your talk with Sunghoon last week, the boys told you he was adamant about practice hours— being that stubborn you didn’t expect anything less.
“So can I expect to see the two of you later for tutoring? Or am I going to stop by practice to pull the both of you out myself?” Arduously looking at the two boys, you knew the answer was the latter; by their tight smiles, they didn’t have much of a choice. 
You were hoping— slightly hoping Sunghoon had it in him to not be an asshole making you walk all the way to the gym where practice was being held, especially not in your stilettos. He’s always been this way, the first couple of days the two of you studied together you concluded he wasn’t much of a listener nor much of a compromiser.
And when it was time to start after school tutoring, you could only tap your heel as it’s been ten minutes since you were scheduled to start.
“Mother fucker.” You hushed under your breath, shooting up in your chair hastily, you did your best to ignore the looks from your students waiting for tutoring to start at their desks. With your heels clicking against the tiles you quickly found your way to the gym, the sound of whistles and basketballs bouncing against the gym floor echoed through the opened doors as you walked in. 
It was a familiar feeling, quite familiar noting Sunghoon from across the court with a clipboard in one hand and a whistle in the other. You weren’t sure what overcame you, but you found yourself bee-lining towards the blonde— his brow quirked up from your sudden appearance.
Switching practice times was something Sunghoon just— felt like doing, well not really. Seeing you here was one of the last cursed encounters he expected to face after the last time the two of you met eyes years ago. 
When your widened eyes greeted him that evening, something instantly sparked in him, nostalgia? He wasn’t sure if it was the good or bad kind yet— it felt surreal in a way. The one girl he wished he met sooner back in college was the science teacher at the new high school he was transferred to for the spring semester. 
You were different, so different from the last time he’d seen you. Your usual smile that warmed his heart back then was now replaced with an unfamiliar one, a tired gaze that seemed so distant from the ones that used to look up at him in affection. Your hair was longer than before and it was weird to see you dressed in business attire when he only remembered your casual ones. 
And then it hit him—it has been a while. 
He liked to believe things stayed how they were before, he hoped they did— and maybe they were.
“I told you to change practice hours, how are you a literature teacher who lacks comprehension skills?”
Well, it wouldn’t be the first time he was wrong about something.
Practice was going well today, the students were finally back into a healthy energetic mindset after weeks of exams. He was aware of the eligibility rule and your request but seeing how tired most of them were, he knew it was important to let his athletes have that extra three hours of sleep. As a former student-athlete, Sunghoon knew how important it was for rest and recovery, he’ll do what he has to do to ensure his students got just that. 
“You said I lack comprehension skills?” he huffed amused, his eyes on your figure recovering from walking across campus, your face visibly flushed from being winded and irritated. 
“Ms.Kim this is a closed practice, does that mean you lack common courtesy to follow rules?” he argued back, roughly shoving the clipboard to the assistant without hesitation– earning a surprised grunt from the poor man.
You could practically feel your eye twitch watching the smug look overtake his features, enjoying the frustration seething from your eyes in real time. 
“Maybe don’t leave the gym doors open next time if it’s a closed practice, plus Coach Lee let me in.” You grinned phonily, your upturned smile dropping instantly pushing past him as your eyes scanned the court for Niki and Jungwon. Many of the students greeted you politely despite being in the midst of drills and training. Calling their names they immediately ran towards you, a conflicted expression painting their face as a whistle was blown directly behind you. 
Flinching you were greeted with a now annoyed Sunghoon eyeing the two boys behind you who were ready to leave with their things. 
“Move and I’m not going to repeat myself, Mr.Park.” You exhaled tremulously, your words not really reaching his ears after noticing exactly how close you were after turning to face him. 
“Don’t disrupt my practice again or I promise you’ll be dealing with a lot more than conflicting hours,” he whispered, his brows furrowing at the way your pupils wavered softly. You almost scoffed really, here you were face to face to Park Sunghoon after a long time.
You had every right and opportunity to confront him, yell at him even; asking why he left that night and why he never bothered to call or text after. The two of you after that party went back to how you were before— strangers.
Instead here you were merely inches away staring at the mole beside his nose you remember clearly. His minty breath fanned your lashes after the huffed out a sigh of disbelief. He could have ended up at any other high school, why did it have to be here? 
“I don’t think you’re someone who should be making promises Sunghoon.” You sneered in a whisper, his eyes widening slightly before dropping the silver whistle from his lips. Scoffing softly you called for the two to follow you and thankfully, they did. With your heels clicking against the court, you did your best to ignore the burning sensation spreading through your chest, nodding at the students bidding you goodbye with a smile. 
“I guess your talk with Coach didn’t go well the other day.”  You heard Jungwon whisper, a small chuckle to lighten the mood which you appreciated. “Let’s just say Coach Park and I know each other well.” opening the door to the class with a huff, you apologized to the other kids with a smile. 
“We can come every other day— if that’s okay,” Niki suggested, setting his bag on the floor taking a seat next to his teammate.
“Is he going to allow you to come every other day?” You asked with a raised brow,  seeing the both of them nod genuinely you heaved a sigh and smiled softly. And to your surprise, they did come every other day, you haven’t seen Sunghoon since then, and thankfully so. 
Making sure to ignore him in the faculty lounge during lunches— you even committed to coming early hours in the morning to print all your things just to avoid him in the storage units. It’s been exactly four days since your heated argument with him— Naeun saying it was fate when you mentioned it to her over the phone. 
“Fate my asshole.” you cursed, gripping your shoulder bag as you got off the terminal making your way to work. It was the day of the faculty meeting you’ve dreaded while preparing for— Ms.Go appointed you as the new head of the science department at the last meeting and not many people were too fond of that. Greeting your other colleagues your eyes trailed over those who were smiling while greeting you a hello. Some were your friends and seniors you looked up to while others were just those who respected you and your efforts for your job.
“Someone is sitting here—from my department.” Blinking at the women your gaze settled on her hand blocking the chair you were going to pull out to sit in. That was a lie, you knew it was. With good people also came the ones who weren’t that nice when the news dropped that you were appointed to the new position. Nodding an apology you couldn’t help but chew on your bottom noting the only other seat left unoccupied. 
Slowly setting your bag on the floor you pulled out all the paperwork needed for the meeting starting soon, ignoring the obvious stare on your right as you huffed out a sigh. Not able to ignore it any longer you gave the blonde a curt nod, brows furrowing as he didn’t acknowledge your greeting at all. 
“Oh? Y/N!” A familiar voice caused you to look up from your files, grinning at the familiar smile walking back to his seat with a cup of coffee. 
“Coach Lee!” You snickered softly, eyeing the extra cup of coffee he pushed towards you trying to ignore the looks from some of the older ladies down the table. Jeno was another Coach at the school for the soccer team who was also head of the math department. Being similar in age the two of you got along as assistants when you first started.
“Thank you..” giving him a soft whisper, you admired the swirls of creme floating on top of the expresso, a sigh escaping from you feeling the warmth spread between your fingers. After a couple of savoring sips, you paused as something—more like someone, was bothering you. You could only watch as Sunghoon glanced between you and the cup of coffee between your palms. His dark brows in a stern frown before scoffing and fixing his tie; it was the first time you had a good look at Sunghoon outside of his baggy sports attire after so long. 
His tall nose and pushed-up hair perfectly enhanced his face while the white dress shirt snugged nicely against his shoulders. He had grown into his features, that boyish charm now replaced with a cold stare and small frown. 
What was his problem? It wasn’t like you wanted to sit here in the first place, sneering slightly you took one last sip; purposefully glaring at him when your eye caught his gaze once again. 
“Are you ready for the presentation? I know it’s your first one since becoming the head of your department.” You heard Jeno ask you, nodding you smiled glancing at all the paperwork you were able to compress into a ten-fifteen-minute presentation.
“I’m not going to lie I had some trouble since there’s so much to talk about but— I think I did good.” You nodded, catching his smile as he pulled out his own set of notes. “Well, you ever need my help you can always ask me, you know my hours and my email.” With a thankful nod, your smile dropped hearing someone scoff beside you— a little too loudly you noted, glancing at the blonde with an irritated glint.
Before you could ask him what his problem was Ms. Go entered the room as everyone stood to greet her respectfully. As she caught your figure her smile widened in acknowledgment that you knew many people took note of, with everyone taking their seats you could feel your palms grow clammy as each department presented one by one. Jeno’s bright smile and convincing talk about changing the math curriculum passed quicker than you expected which meant one thing, it was your turn soon— next actually.
“Ms.Kim you’re up.”
Heaving out a shaky ‘yes’ your legs felt like jelly as you gathered all your notes, glancing at the other teachers in your department giving you an encouraging smile as you passed them walking to the front. The sound of your heels clicking against the floor seemed to be the only thing echoing in your thoughts as the gazes and judgmental stares seemed to have filled your vision making you visibly tense. It was true, there were many teachers here with way more years of experience and opinions but Ms.Go and the board choose you for a reason— that’s what you kept telling yourself. After a brief introduction, you noted Ms.Go’s intent gaze causing you to stutter slightly. 
“After working with the students and seeing the science program here, I have some changes that I believe would be beneficial.” Despite the scoffs heard from a few, you could feel the relief wash over you as Ms.Go nodded writing down some notes. “Looking at the curriculum a lot of the lesson plans are very outdated and don’t tend to the needs of the students now— I suggest we change our approach on what we expect from the kids. Things have changed in the new age which makes it only appropriate to change how we teach as well.” 
“And we trust the kids in your hands why?” Trying your best to hold back the frown leaking through your stiff smile you turned to Ms.Jung who was part of the literature and linguistics department, honesty you were expecting this type of question to come up somewhere in your presentation. However, when some of your other colleagues began dabbling in the conversation, you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed at the amount of unwanted opinions directed towards you and the other teachers in your department. 
“Why would I take your word when I’ve been doing this for as long you’ve been alive.” Ms.Jung scoffed– her face clearly satisfied by the mess she caused making you look down in embarrassment. 
“What type of meeting is this if no one listens to what is being presented.” The sudden silence was caused by Sunghoon’s slightly irritated tone, his brows in a deep frown while tapping his pen against the desk in a steady beat. 
“Who do you think you’re talking to young man? I heard you’re new here and that’s how you treat your seniors—”
“What kind of seniors treats their younger colleagues that way? Ms.Kim is obviously really passionate and good at her job if she’s the science department leader… I think she knows better than anyone here what to do with the students,” he interjected, observing the way Ms.Jung looked taken aback by his sudden comment, a smug look casting over his face.
“It’s true since Ms.Kim became one of the main teachers— our science sector has seen tremendous amounts of improvement in overall scores and individual performances.” Ms.Go added with a nod, a small genuine smile making its way to your face with a humble nod. 
“Working with Ms.Kim I trust her enough to listen— I hope everyone can as well.” Surprised, you gave Jeno a grateful grin before you continued your presentation, your eyes catching Sunghoon’s deepen frown making you look away confused every once in a while. He was the one who helped you in the first place so why did he look so upset? 
However, you were unaware that his frown wasn’t directed towards you— but instead to Jeno who added a comment earlier he considered unnecessary, very unnecessary. 
After the meeting ended you searched for Sunghoon who already made his way out of the faculty room. You wanted to thank him for deescalating the situation earlier but he never gave you a second glance the moment you sat down again beside him. Making your way through the crowd, your eye searched for the blonde male making his way down the hall before pausing at your voice calling for him. 
“Hey.” You huffed fixing the bag on your shoulder, awkwardly glancing down to his hand gripping his own bag beside him. The cold air blowing from the conditioner made you shiver, you didn’t realize but your voice came out a lot softer than you expected. “I just wanted to say thank you— for earlier you know.” You could only watch as Sunghoon stared down at you, his head nodding in acknowledgment before turning away slowly. 
“Wait!” You didn’t know what prompted you to grab his blazer, maybe it was the way you haven’t heard his voice in so long, but all you wanted was to savor this moment with him a little longer. 
“I’ll buy you a coffee, my treat.” the offer quickly slipping from your lips.
“This wasn’t what I was thinking.” You heard him scoff beside you, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed as you mixed coffee and some milk from the faculty vending machine. With a grin you shrugged your shoulders, ripping some sugar packets before whisking with a spoon, a drink that you often had going through hell and back since working here. 
“Well Coach Lee and I would whip this up for each other ever since the both of us started as assistants, it’s my treat so be grateful at least.” You mumbled, throwing away all the trash while admiring the way the coffee swirled from the momentum of your mixing. His expression still cold as he pulled his phone from his pocket ignoring your statement.
You didn’t know why but this was making you slightly annoyed— hurt even. The two of you were colleagues now and you were doing your best to extend an olive branch despite what happened in the past. The least he could do was— 
Your eyes widen slightly at an unfamiliar scent mixed with the bitterness of the coffee, lashes fluttering as you felt his arm brush your chest faintly. Grabbing the cup of coffee from your grasp, you could only watch as Sunghoon took a sip from the drink, his furrowed brows relaxing softly seeing you look up to him in a daze. 
“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to drink it— jeez.” Taking another long sip, your lips lifted slightly seeing him finish the drink in one go. 
“The coffee isn’t going to run away from you Mr. Park slow down.” You huffed, picking up your bag before making your way to the door; a slight warmth spreading throughout your chest hearing him call out your name as you didn’t bother turning back. 
Since then none of the other teachers have bothered you in and out of the faculty meetings, you weren’t sure if it was because of Sunghoon or the fact they’ve accepted your new position— but it was one less thing to worry about. And to your surprise since your little barista session, the two of you kept it respectful and greeted each other whether it be passing in the halls or coincidentally seeing each other in the storage room; it was better than acting like each other’s existence didn’t matter because deep down— you at least knew it did.
“Right, so you need to move all the pH variables to this side and—” While helping some of the kids, you were interrupted by the sound of your door opening hastily. Immediately fixing your posture, your eyes widened at the sight of Sunghoon standing at the doorway with Niki and Jungwon. His gaze looked around the room almost in embarrassment with his hands shoved in his track pants. It was the first time he was in your class after your first encounter at the start of the month.
“I forgot it was your day with the kids— here.” You heard him say, pushing the two who were still dressed in their athletic clothing as he huffed a cough from your soft greeting towards the both of them. 
“Well they’re doing really well recently so I wouldn’t have minded the two of them staying with you.” Pushing your hands into your back pockets, you stood next to Sunghoon after giving Jungwon a small pat on the back with a sigh. With the first big game against the rival school coming soon— you understood the need for practice on the court. 
“If I didn’t know what both of you were talking about I’d assume it was about co-parenting,” Niki mumbled throwing his bag on the floor after you failed to greet him the same way you did Jungwon. Hearing a few snickers from the other students you quickly denied his statement, blinking rapidly as you moved away from an equally flustered Sunghoon who was mentioning extra laps around the track if Niki didn’t get to work.
After a few minutes of settling everyone in their seats, you noted Sunghoon still by the door, “Are you not going to return to practice?” You asked him, watching his eyes flicker back to you after gazing into space again.
“Oh— my assistant has it covered, the boys are just doing a practice game so I don’t really need to be there.” He nodded ruffling his track pants quietly. With a nod you motioned for him to have a seat at the lab tables if he wished to. 
“Well you’re welcome to stay if you want to, I’m just going to go over a few topics before assigning practice worksheets.” You told him with a grin. Sunghoon obviously took the opportunity to stay as for the past couple of days; he purposely changed his route around campus to find more opportunities to run into you. 
It’s just been—- so long. Hearing your voice again somehow pulled him back into this warm serenity he’s been missing for years. Your soft laugh that rang like wedding bells in his ear resurfaced drowned out thoughts and emotions that kept him up during the night and distracted him during the day. Things didn’t end the way he wished—nor did they end the way he thought they would. 
He should’ve never asked you to go to that damn party, the two of you were fine before that whole hell hole. Sunghoon trusted you— trusted you when it came to tutoring him to his full potential and trusted you to be honest when it came to if his hair looked weird in the morning. But he never thought he had to question his trust when it came to your feelings towards him. 
One minute he left to go find a friend who was light years braver than him when it came to words of love and confession— and the next he came back to you with another person; another man. An acquaintance, one who never really had good things to say about him. To see you leaning against him with your face cradled into his neck sharing shots together, made his stomach drop.
Dread? Sorrow? Regret? 
What else was there to say, he hadn’t asked to you be his girlfriend officially yet since he was so scared. 
Of rejection? No. Commitment? No, so what was it?
There he was, standing in the midst of the party seeing you slip away from his fingers in what felt like seconds, and he never looked back. 
Pride? Prejudice? He was sure the english novel that was apart of his assignment at the time persuaded the labels listed but things seemed better off this way. He never reached out and you didn’t either— apart of him hoped you did, but seeing you pass him on campus reassured him that maybe he was expecting too much; and he did. 
Years later despite what happened, he couldn’t help but feel a part of him yearn for that fulfillment again. To feel your hands cradling his face, your voice warming him in love and solace. But he concluded since those days being someone who feels too deeply— is just too exhausting.
“Woah—” Sunghoon mumbled out of his daze, your hand slamming slightly on the lab table startled him as the students left one by one as it’s been almost an hour since tutoring started. “Tutoring is over, you can leave now Coach Park.” holding back a grin, you couldn’t help but snicker at his flustered expression, something you haven’t seen in a while. Sunghoon stood hastily— embarrassed as his two athletes were glancing at him with slight snickers.
“Hey! Be ready for practice tomorrow, on time or I’m adding two extra sets to each workout.” Despite Niki and Jungwon’s teasing gaze towards him as they left— ones you didn’t notice, Sunghoon couldn’t help but shift in place seeing you struggle to put all the chairs on top of the tables for evening cleaning. 
Moving to help you, the sound of the clock ticking and chairs scratching against the tile floor filled the unfamiliar silence that surrounded you btoh— unfamiliar in a way where for the first time in a while for you and him; the silence didn’t have to hurt anymore.
“Are you heading home soon?” You heard him ask beside you, glancing out the window with the sun setting in the distance; you let out a tired sigh with a nod. 
“Okay I’ll go grab my things and walk you to the lot, meet me in front.” Before you could deny his request he was already out your door in a blink. A small snicker escaped your lips as you swiftly went to gather your things, you weren’t sure what was going through that little mind of his at the moment, but a part of you was glad he wasn’t acting like the two of you were complete strangers. 
“Is your car this way?” you heard him ask, the two of you meeting outside your hall before walking to the front of the school.
“Uh— I’m actually taking the bus, my car is still in the dealer because the breaks were acting up last month.” running a hand through your hair you thanked him softly for walking you this far until you felt him grab ahold of your forearm. 
“Then I’ll just take you home it’s probably on the way—”
“No! I’ll probably stop by to get dinner, it’s fine really you don’t have to.” You reassured him, doing your best to pull away from his grasp that only tightened the more you resisted. 
“Then let’s just catch up.” His suggestion makes you pause in shock, “I should probably eat dinner too.” How could you say no, he was looking at you with those hopeful eyes again, a glint of excitement in them when you unconsciously nodded to his offer.
“Auntie can we have two bowls please!” you called out— greeting the workers you saw often at the local noodle shop with a smile sitting down across Sunghoon, you thanked the waiter who was placing drinks infront of the both of you. 
“You seem to come here often, is it that good?” His light-hearted comment caused you to chuckle as you passed him the utensils from the box. 
“Once you eat what I ordered you won’t question my taste again.” Slightly glaring at him your cheeks immediately lifted as his laugh filled the booth. 
“That’s what you said about that one pizza place on campus— I’m sure you remember the fish bones underneath the cheese.” he pointed out, his foot tapping yours slightly as your lips puckered at the memory of Sunghoon pulling out a few fish bones from his slice of pizza. 
It was one of your weekend dates where you offered to find a place for dinner, despite it being one of the worst meals you’ve had during college it was a sweet memory the two of you cherished.
“And there wasn’t even fish on the menu.” with your expression in a scrunch, a smile broke onto your face as Sunghoon’s dimple was full display, recalling the utter horror the both of you shared realizing the crunches on your pizza weren’t dried onions. 
“Okay this does look good…”Gawking at the bowl of hot noodles in front of him, Sunghoon couldn’t help but dig in as you nodded watching him sip the broth; savoring the taste and warmth of each spoonful. 
You and Sunghoon did have many cherishing moments together. Figured as time went by you could push down these memories and hopefully, they would fade away the same way your happiness did with each passing month. Maybe the storm brewing in your heart could wash away any traces of him you had left in your mind, but of course, those prayers went unanswered.
You hoped it was one of those instances where you missed the memories more than the person, but deep down you knew that wasn’t true. Just a mental coping mechanism to convince yourself the closure you never got wasn’t the one thing you needed to move on with what happened. 
Why? Self-depreciation perhaps, emotions do that to a person. Maybe it clicked that you simply refused to let go of the memories— feelings you felt when things were good till they weren’t as it was a reminder that what you had was a good thing that should’ve never ended. 
But maybe it needed to.
“You were right this place is pretty good.” He huffed a chuckle, watching your eyes travel back to your bowl as you scoffed slightly.
“Niki and Jungwon don’t have to come every other day anymore, they should be fine with eligibility just send them when you can.” You nodded finishing the last of your meal, Sunghoon sat watching you quietly as you hummed with each bite. You kept your habits over the years, fingers pushing your hair behind your ears ever so often to the way your eyes were unable to meet his when you spoke or caught his gaze by accident, it was all the same. 
“And I know I’ve said this already but seriously thank you—for speaking up during the meeting,” pausing your eyes met his as the soft music within the restaurant feathered your words of appreciation. 
“They haven’t bothered me since which takes so much stress off of me.” With a small laugh, you expected him to follow, but your expression falls short when you noted his contemplating eyes gazing down with a frown. 
With the two of you here in the moment, despite the cordial decency you wanted to keep, Sunghoon couldn’t help but wish to know the truth. In the few months it took for the two of you to grow close, there was always the unknown if you would be more than friends. After being accustomed to your minuscule characteristics and habits, something never truly settled right with him about what happened. 
You just weren’t that type of person.
If things never worked out between the both of you it would’ve been because a few reasons, but none of them being what he saw that night. Your slight aggression towards him now after the obvious change of attitude from that night told him maybe things weren’t the way it seemed.
“Stop thanking me, just take it as a very delayed thank you for helping me graduate.” He huffed out, making sure to keep the cordial atmosphere you tried so hard to create during work despite the curiosity brewing inside him. 
“Speaking of graduation, did you miss the ceremony? I don’t remember seeing you when I went for friends who were in the same major.” he finally spit out—his question obviously making you freeze, you weren’t expecting him to bring up anything from back then. 
But Sunghoon was always full of surprises.
“Uh— yeah I, actually attended an overseas internship so that required me to leave a few days before the ceremony.” Picking the vegetables in your bowl, you could practically feel his gaze burning holes into you. Sunghoon knew you were lying, but he wasn’t going to let you know that. 
“Are you sure it didn’t have anything to deal with what happened?” your jaw tensed as you set down the pair of chopsticks bringing your eyes to meet his. 
“And what exactly are you referring to Sunghoon?” voice tinted with anger taking in the solemn expression that suddenly overtook his face. 
“Are you recalling to the fact I was in between what I wanted to do with my major so I took an extra semester to graduate or the fact the both of us just— went back to pretending like we were strangers?” You didn’t know what snapped inside you, past anger and resentment like skeletons in a closet finally acknowledged for the first time; in a long time. 
“Strangers?” Sunghoon scoffed, trailing his eyes away from you to the empty booth beside you two in exasperation. “You think what happened was something that happened for the fuck of it? Is that all it was to you?” his tone cold looking back at you. 
Confusion? Indignation? You couldn’t pinpoint what exactly blossomed when your eyes met, but something made his eyes turn cold as the realization settled that you weren’t the only one hurting. Eyes that once looked at you with warmth and tenderness now looked at you in vexation. 
“You made a promise you couldn’t keep then left taking no responsibility like the coward you were.” slamming the money you found to cover the bill on the table, you stood from your seat in a hurry. You did your best to make things seem as if the two of you shared nothing more than a few classes back in college; normal— so why the hell did he have to show up in your life again when you were starting to realize what’s coming will be better than what was gone.
“Wait Y/N let’s just talk—”
“There’s nothing to talk about Sunghoon! You made things painfully clear that night so please just… pretend like we don’t know each other.” And with a frown you left, this whole acting normal bit was bullshit to begin with. Sitting back down in the booth Sunghoon couldn’t help but curse as the sight of your back leaving the shop quickly seemed a little too familiar. 
Instead of clarity, he left with more questions to fill his thoughts at night. 
“And you’re saying he was basically hinted you were the reason things didn’t work out.” Naeun pointed out; brows raised in revelation as the both of you were seated in your living room, cans of beer lining the coffee table alongside bags of snacks she prepared after asking her to come over. After your small altercation with Sunghoon last night you really needed another opinion on the situation— and a drink. 
“Well, he didn’t say it but it felt like he was insinuating it— I don’t know! Either way, I saw what I saw and heard what I heard, and you did too.” whining slightly you took one last gulp from the nearly empty can before crushing it within your palm. You thought it was ridiculous how Sunghoon had the impudence to turn this around on you, but what would be the reason?  
“Y/N just ignore him, it’s not worth thinking about it this much… I say you distract yourself with that cute coworker you’ve been friends with.” she chuckled passing you another can which you accepted with a frown. 
“You mean Jeno?” 
“Well— you said he was your type and the two of you get along well, I say why not.” she shrugged, nodding to the beat of the music playing from your speaker you let out a sigh of… consideration. 
It was true, the both of you always got along well, both in the work setting and away. Maybe you were too busy with forwarding your career, but you never thought about getting involved romantically with anyone else, that’s what you told yourself. 
And there was truth to it, in the years since you’ve accomplished a lot in your line of work. Aspirations became reachable goals, and you were finally at a point in your career which you considered stable for your age and experience. You wouldn’t lie and say you didn’t try to to talk to other men in these few years, but they just never worked out, they weren’t—
“Sunghoon is going to be a part of the school festival committee with you?” Blinking out from your daze, you nodded bringing your knees to your chest. “You make it sound like it’s just the two of us.” Chuckling slightly you popped open another can of beer to refresh the lingering bitterness on your tongue.
“But yes, the Science and Literature department are paired up for the festival. I’ll just do my best to ignore him but I’ll be hard if he keeps being confrontational.”
“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Nodding at her softly you gave her a hug thanking her for coming over to make you feel better. 
“Go— your clingy boyfriend is about to call me again asking if you’re coming home.” With a smile she flicked you off before bidding you goodbye quietly in the hall outside of your condo.
Naeun always found you and Sunghoon odd, how such contrasting individuals were able to grow so fond of one another, adapt to each other so quickly and willingly. You were kind at heart with a mind that was filled with never-ending dreams while he was someone who lived in the moment with a dubious reserved mind. You’d think two people of similar nature would get along much better, but once she met her own lover in her grad years, she understood that wasn’t the case. 
“Yeah can I get one americano with milk please.” Glancing up from her phone, Naeun had to glance again to make sure what she saw— more like who, wasn’t who she thought it was. Naeun was here to have a drink before meeting with her boyfriend for a date to end the weekend, and the last person she expected to see was the guy her best friend was reviling last night.
“Park Sunghoon what are you doing here?” being just as shocked as she was, Sunghoon gave her an amused nod before walking over with his receipt. “She wasn’t lying when she said you were back huh, what are you doing getting coffee this afternoon.” Acknowledging his backpack she let out a hum when he told her he was here to fish a few assignments he had for upcoming lesson plans. 
Shifting on his feet, Sunghoon offered for them to take a seat recognizing that glint in Naeun’s glare that he knew well from before— she had questions, and he could guess about who.
“Did you know Y/N worked there before coming?” Being thrown off by the sudden question, Sunghoon couldn’t help but choke a bit on his coffee. Americano with milk and sugar, a staple he grew to love after you made him a slightly different version a while back at work. 
“If I knew she was here I wouldn’t have taken the offer.” With a raised brow Naeun couldn’t help but scoff slightly. 
“Wow you really do have the uttermost audacity.” leaning back in her chair as Sunghoon stared at her in confusion. 
“Listen I know you’re friends so you’d defend her despite anything and I’m not demeaning you for that—”
“And what would I be defending her for? Giving you a chance when other people were making her feel like she shouldn’t have? You broke her heart Sunghoon, embarrassed her in front of people who didn’t even know her.” Rolling her eyes Naeun was growing frustrated looking at the way his upset expression turned confused.
“Don’t act stupid Sunghoon people saw and told Y/N, people even told me that you left with some girl that night and never came back.” Sitting in silence, Naeun couldn’t help but cross her arms at the sudden quietude overcoming the table, the silent noise in the background filling the empty ambiance between the two. 
“Are you finally remembering now? Because I had to show up and pull Y/N off some—”
“Wait. Who told you that, who told her that? I told Y/N I was going to look for a friend— but I never left… she knows that.” A shift in his voice was clearly acknowledged by Naeun as she sat up in her seat shaking her head.
“I don’t know it was some guy she kept saying was your friend when I found her; drunk and delirious might I add, but she trusted you.” Disappointment laced her tone while Sunghoon looked away, thoughts running miles she could see, his eyes darting from the busy sidewalk outside back to the blending of coffee beans at the counter.
“I went to go talk to a friend— who I ended up not being able to find, then I came back and she was with an acquaintance I knew…he was all over her and I don’t know.” rubbing the paper cover over his cup, Sunghoon felt the weight shifting off his shoulders being able to finally talk to someone about what happened. But when Naeun didn’t respond; he couldn’t help but look up only to be met with bundled-up tissue paper thrown at him.
“You think she would really do that to you Sunghoon? She liked you, way too much for that to happen.” Hissing through her teeth Naeun couldn’t help but let out a frustrated sigh, not at Sunghoon— but to you as well. What type of misunderstanding led to two different views of what happened? 
Running his fingers through his hair Sunghoon couldn’t help but grimace at her response. “Naeun that guy she was with was someone who showed interest in her before, he was a teammate of mine and I don’t know—”
“Well that would explain why he told people you left with someone else. I found her leaning against someone else for support because that asshole got her drunk and then left to god knows where.” With his eyes doubling in size, he couldn’t exactly explain the feeling traveling through him as he chugged the last of his coffee in one go. Foolishness? He knew better than to think you would do that, a mix of internal and external variables engrained him with a different memory than what happened.
But was it wrong for him to feel slightly hopeful? 
Cursing was the only thing Sunghoon could do sitting with this new information as Naeun finally understood the grasp of how big the misunderstanding was. 
“Is she at home now?” His question caused her gaze to snap toward him with a nod. “Then I should go talk to her about this—this mistake.” Stopping him quickly, Sunghoon knew it was imprudent to confront you at the moment, with what happened a few days ago he could conclude you probably wanted nothing else to do with him.
“Well you see, I might or might not have encouraged her to move on and forget about you and everything that happened.” Sheepishly scratching her cheek, she rolled her eyes as Sunghoon reassured her it was nothing to be sorry for.
“And I may or may not have told her to take a chance with the cute Coach from the math department.”
“Oh.” 
Naeun couldn’t help the guilt taking over her expression as Sunghoon sat down slowly with a slight frown, realization hitting him that she meant Jeno. 
So you were considering Jeno all this time. 
“Trust me when I say it was just a suggestion, she seemed conflicted about it first just… try to talk to her when you can, I promise she’ll listen.”
Well, she lied.
Every chance he took to talk to you never seemed to work out for him, from seeing you in the staff lounge to the storage units and printing stations— you were ignoring him, and he knew that. 
Somehow you always finished lunch when it was his turn to have a break or you managed to print all your paperwork magically when he showed up to the storage units after calculating your routes in between classes. It was hopeless. 
“Coach!” 
“Yeah sorry, um you two not going to tutoring today?” Tapping his fingers on the clipboard, Sunghoon could only watch as Jungwon shook his head with a grin knowing he caught his coach dazing off— again. 
“Nope! Ms.Kim said we’re all good with eligibility.” 
“He’s only asking because he wants to walk us to class again… right Coach Park?” Grabbing Niki by his jersey, Sunghoon couldn’t help but pull him into a headlock as the younger boy laughed at the teasing. He wasn’t sure when kids suddenly became aware of feelings; especially his, but if you asked the boys they would’ve said it was obvious from the way his eyes followed you when you were around. Or the way his head turns immediately at the mention of your name by staff or students.
But if you asked Niki thinks its obvious from the way he always volunteers to walk them to tutoring, your tutoring.
“Sunghoon!” Letting go of Niki he turned to see Jeno greeting him coming in from the outside field with the soccer team. Being the main coaches on campus it was expected the both of them would see each other often— unfortunately for him, as the idea that you were somehow considering on pursuing something with Jeno did not sit well with him. Sending him a nod, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes as the boys greeted their ‘favorite’ math teacher. 
“It’s not that hard to do math you know, I could help the two of you if you need it.” He sighed nonchalantly, crossing his arms as the two scoffed at him chugging their water bottles. “No offense Coach Park but why would we ask you if we have a math teacher who’s willing to tutor us?” Shaking his head Niki walked away leaving Sunghoon gawking, the whistle falling from between his lips as Jungwon shifted on his toes awkwardly. 
“Coach it’s true, plus Mr.Lee is super nice don’t worry! I always see him with Ms.Kim in the morning before class starts— yeah hold up!” Grinning at his teammates he gave Sunghoon one last knowing grin before running off to the others. 
“What do they know about being super nice?” He mumbled, blowing the whistle while motioning towards his assistant coach to go through with another round of cardio. 
It was funny really.
“Do you know today’s date?” Glancing between you working on a few notes and the other teachers talking about their plans for the upcoming school festival, he was grateful for agreeing to participate. Despite being one of the only people in his department to take charge of the role, Sunghoon truly was here to find a chance to talk to you— even if it meant asking for today’s date.
Seeing you weren’t paying much attention to him, he made sure to clear his throat a little louder this time. 
“What’s today’s date?” 
“It’s the twentieth…” Dropping his pen on the table, his jaw clenched hearing Jeno answer instead, his tone slightly annoyed at Sunghoon asking you the same question repreatedly.
“I wasn’t asking you.” He mumbled quietly, causing the latter to roll his eyes as he stated the date for Sunghoon to acknowledge again. 
He didn’t care. 
“What’s today’s date?” Sunghoon asked again, this time directly asking you with a tint of hope in his voice.
“O-oh it’s the twentieth.” You told him with a small smile, going back to answering questions some of the other teachers had about preparation time and supplies. With a successful smug, Sunghoon glanced over at Jeno who shook his head out of bewilderment. 
He found this to be an improvement, hell this was the first thing you’ve said to him since the dinner from over a week ago. “Do you need help with this?” You heard him ask, before you could answer Sunghoon was already grabbing the boxes you were carrying back to the paperwork room. 
“Yeah, you can just leave them here.” You pointed out, an awkward grin on your lips knowing the last time you spoke to him wasn’t the friendliest. 
“Hey I’m sorry about last time, I shouldn’t have blown up on you the way I did so I apologize—”
“No you shouldn’t apologize I sort of antagonized you so I’m the one who should be saying sorry.” He interjected, bringing his hands up in an attempt to stop you from interrupting him with a small huff. 
“Sunghoon I just don’t want us to be fighting anymore, it’s been so long we should both just get over it— I’m ready to forget about it if you are.” thinking it was the best solution you huffed softly seeing Sunghoon slowly nod shoving his hands in his pockets with a slight frown. 
“Is this not what you wanted?” Seeing him slowly bring his gaze up to yours, you released a relieved sigh as he nodded quietly. 
“Yeah I really do Y/N.” With a small smile, you nodded as the sound of other teachers down the hall interrupted the two of you. 
“Great because I’m gonna need a lot of help for the upcoming festival.” You pointed out, standing beside him letting the other staff walk into the room past you with a grin. 
“And I’ll be there to help you, always.” You heard him mumble beside you, heart fluttering lightly as your fingers gripped the fabric of your pants. 
You weren’t sure if your olive branch was going to do much in effort when it came to Sunghoon but— the two of you were now on good terms, really good terms to say. 
Maybe it was the effort of meeting up before or after school to brainstorm ideas for the festival but apart of you felt somewhat displeased. It was stupid really, you were upset when he was too caught up in the past with what happened, but now you were slightly displeased at the fact he was willing to forget everything just like that. 
Complicated— you knew. 
The sudden knock against the wood door made you flinch lightly from your desk as the sight of Sunghoon made you grin. After a few hours of grading papers, you didn’t notice the setting sun and quiet halls. Sunghoon has been coming either before or after school to discuss plans and set up ideas for the festival, when you learned he out of everyone signed up to run his department, a part of you grew in excitement. 
Seeing him at your door right now made you realize that, whether the halls and classes were empty in the bright early mornings or late in the setting sun, part of you felt a bit of self-sorrow. 
It reminded you of the way you were back in college, waiting for each other after classes with exciting smiles and playful hands. If things stayed the way they were, would the two of you have made it this far? Even if the exciting smiles turned into tired ones, and warm hugs replaced the playful ones— you could only leave it up to your imagination.
“Hey.” You whispered, his coming figure making you drop your pen softly. Eyes widening you scoffed as Sunghoon placed a cup of warm coffee on your desk. “I figured you needed a quick coffee break seeing how you’re still working this late.” He sighed, sitting ontop of one of the desk in front of you. 
“You came earlier?” His hum was enough to let you know he did as you were busy in your own world to be bother any further. “Isn’t this the coffee combo I made you before?” Your voice slightly amused as he nodded with a chuckle. 
“Yeah it’s been my go-to since you made me one— I guess you just know exactly what I like.” 
“So I think the class came to a consensus on their final ideas for the festival.” Changing the subject quickly, you failed to realize Sunghoon caught the sight of your eyes wavering, flustered.
“Oh yeah? What did they choose, our class came down to one as well.” Blinking quickly you did your best to remain calm as Sunghoon made his way around your desk beside you, his cologne tickling your nose while trying to ignore the obvious sound of your chair squeaking from scooting back slightly. 
“I-I think they all agreed to do a snack booth.” You replied, focusing your gaze across the room to the lab tables, an attempt to prevent your cheeks from heating up in embarrassment. “The kids chose a photobooth, I think that’s a good combination for our section.” He commented earning a nod from you. 
The feeling of something fluttering against your hair made you to flinch until the calluses of Sunghoon’s fingers caressing a few strands of hair came into view. 
“Stop overworking yourself.” he whispered. 
“I’m not Sunghoon I’m just behind on a few assignments is all.” You reasoned, leaning back into your seat as his fingers continued to play through your loose strands of hair. Being alone for so long, you often forget what it’s like to have someone asking you from time to time to slow down.
But to Sunghoon it was just one of your habits he knew you couldn’t get rid of, meticulous and compassionate to what you put your mind to, that was what he loved about you. But he knew it was important to put a limit on that habit. He knew you didn’t like people critiquing your work style as it was what you were used to— a small detail he noted back when you grew frustrated at the professor for telling you to take a break.
“Okay I believe you.” He sighed in a whisper, fingers still brushing the side of your face before continuing. 
“Just remember to rest from time to time… sleep can’t wait but graded assignments can.” he reasoned making you giggle slightly at how unserious he was with a nod. 
“The kids wanted me to let you know they’re expecting to see you at the game this Friday— especially Niki.” he brought up, leaning an arm against the head of your chair as you looked up at him confused. You haven’t been to any of the school games on campus, to be fair any games really since back in college when you went to support Sunghoon. 
“I think it’ll be important for them that their favorite teacher is there so think about it.” you heard him say, he knew you had a soft spot for the boys and they had one for you.  
And so here you were, after days of debating whether you were going to show up or not, you found yourself standing in your classroom overlooking the line of supporters outside the entrance to the gym. 
The moment you step foot onto the court, you noticed the home side of the bleachers were lined with hand-painted posters and school-colored streamers hanging from the ceiling of the gym, visible around the poles of the bleachers and floor of the gym. The loud cheering from the student section and low percussion from the band brought a smile to your face, it felt familiar yet so unfamiliar.
“Ms. Kim?” Smiling at the flushed boy you waved at him as he called over for the taller one with a grin. 
“You made it! I didn’t think you were coming,” Niki exclaimed with a towel wrapped around his neck. 
“Of course I came! You know I have some basketball knowledge up my sleeve.” you winked as two of them laughed feeling you pat them on the shoulder in encouragement. You recognized many students from class and coworkers with anticipating expressions, being one of the biggest games this season the energy was high, high in excitement and pressure. 
Trailing your eyes across the gym, it was a surprise to see so many people from the enemy team seated on the opposite side, school colors contrasting against each other as the tension grew on the court. Before you knew it, a grin ghosted on your face as your wondering gaze paused on Sunghoon; dressed in his suit with his clipboard in hand and a pen in the other. His brows were pulled into a frown behind his styled locks looking across the court to the other coach with a scowl, typical competitive Sunghoon.
You didn’t know what but something made you nervous, maybe it was because haven’t been in this type of environment in so long? Or maybe you were feeling the the stress from all the players on the sideline.
The moment his eyes met yours, it was like seeing him for the first time again at his game. 
Nostalgia, you were nervous because you knew coming here would’ve made you reminisce on all the good times you had with him those years ago. 
You were shown nostalgia was the hearts way of reminding you of what you once loved, what you once cherished. It wasn’t like someone told you, you learned to acknowledge it over the years. 
Through your favorite song that oftened played on the radio station you two enjoyed, Goodnight Radio. Photos and scents… nostalgia seemed to have always traveled to you, leaving a bittersweet feeling as sometimes happy memories make you sad–- despite the intended meaning of those words.
You gave him a shy smile, Sunghoon’s grin widening as he nodded in acknowledgement ignoring the looks of Niki and Jungwon glancing between you two. Finding your seat amongst the students, you were happy most of them greeted you with enthusiasm, partly shocked to see you here in the first place. 
“I’m surprised to see you here. Not really since I knew you’d come.” Sunghoon called out to you from the benches, yelling over the loud crowd in excitement as the band performance was coming to an end. You knew how important this was for Sunghoon, coming from a background where he was once in their position— this was a big game for him. 
Sure, you knew it would reflect on him as this was his first game as the coach, but you knew how important it was to him to win, for the team and for himself. 
“And who would I be not coming to support my students?” You yelled back, his smirk widening as he flung his clipboard towards the assistant coach who flinched, you figured he’d be used to that by now. His cheeky grin complimented his smiling eyes and it made you realize this was were Sunghoon belonged, on the court where he always called home.
As the game continued, you knew it was going to be an even game— with the team leading alongside a new coach, it was expected for a few mistake calls here and there. But being against a long time rival defending their wining title, everyone was tense throughout the first half. With the crowd growing weary you could see the stress seeping through Sunghoons stern expression. 
You couldn’t help but dismay your feelings aside noting Sunghoon motioning Niki in with a frown, he’s been missing all his shots and making many out of play moves costing the team points and fouls. Flopping on the bench, the boy was told to calm down by Sunghoon who went back to strategizing with the team with a tight frown on his face. 
With his head hung low and chest heaving— you stood up making your way down to the benches, away from the rest of the team where Niki was sitting.
“Niki.” Whispering to him, you heart melted seeing his upset expression under the towel draped around his head. He reminded you a lot of your brother back then, passionate and driven by the game but also very emotional in the heat of the moment; that could lead to some bumps in the road— you knew better than anyone growing up with it. 
“Ms. Kim I keep messing it up for the team.” You heard him groan, his fingers tightly intertwined trying to blur out the loud crowd from all around. 
“It’s not just your fault Niki, like you said it’s a team… you win as a team you lose as a team—and you mess up as a team.” Nodding slowly you grinned seeing him losen the tight grip on his fingers.  
“You know Sunghoon only benched you because you were getting upset, not because you’re bad. The last thing he wants is for you to put the blame all on yourself….but he shouldn’t have made that three pointer call if you want to point fingers.” You chuckled, grateful to see his smile again despite the sweat lining his hair. You noted the way his eyes flickered back to the group of players— huddled together as Sunghoon was desperately trying to keep his team together. 
____________
“You guys we can still win the game we just need to calm down and rethink our strats.” Sunghoon couldn’t help but feel anxious at the sight of the scoreboard before them, they were ten points down and one of his best players is sitting out for the rest of the quarter for his own sake. He knew how they felt, the pressure to perform well and to win against one of the biggest rivals this year, he saw himself in many of the players on his team.
But instead of forcing them to go through the burden and anger he grew familiar with, he knew it was the right thing to do seeing how upset Niki was getting both on and off the court. 
“Coach we need Niki— he’s usually the one leading all the plays down the court, it’s gonna be hard to get past their defense.” Jungwon breathlessly stated. 
“ I know but I’m not gonna force him to play when he’s spiraling, we’re just gonna have to play around not having him in the formation.” From his peripheral, his eyes caught your figure rushing back into the crowd— sitting amongst the other students and supporters with a heartfelt expression.
“Coach Park!” 
Seeing Niki rush over, he was surprised to see a smile plastered across his flushed face. 
“I can play Coach, I’m good.” despite his reassurance Sunghoon was still skeptical noting he wasn’t this spirited a few minutes ago. “Niki I’m not sure if—”
“Coach I didn’t come to play today just to lose.” he made sure to emphasize, and it all clicked for him— a familiar phrase that rang in his ear like bells. 
‘I didn’t come just to see you lose.’ 
It was a joke you’ve always said to him before his games to shake the nerves off his shoulders, even through the wins and losses he knew you were there to support him regardless of the results, and a part of him missed that. It was just something that ticked his heart a bit from the memories.
Bringing his gaze to yours, despite the rather obvious intent to look away— you knew Sunghoon understood your intent; he needed to give Niki the reassurance you gave him.
“Okay, I believe in you but you gotta believe in yourself kid—all of you do.” grinning at the team, Sunghoon felt relieved to see everyone jump in excitement despite the fatigue that overtook their faces not long before this. With less than a quarter left, he knew this was the last push both physically and mentally for the boys— with the whistle blowing the sound of the crowd grew both in excitement once again.
Niki was in a whole different state of mind compared to before the timeout, with both him and Jungwon finally on the same page; gaining points back was easy. However, with the other team being the best of the best, the score was still close— too close. With the clock ticking down and the difference being two points, either the team had to score a three-pointer or prevent the rival team from tieing.
“Niki go, run!” you suddenly exclaimed, ignoring the looks from those around as you could see the thoughts running through his mind faster than his feet were. With his fingers gripping the ball, you could feel your own gripping your pants. This was it. The adrenaline, the rush, the quick silence as everyone held their breath down to the last millisecond.
This was what you missed. 
A wide smile made its way to your face, seeing Niki and Jungwon jumping in both happiness and exhaustion as the students ran to the court to celebrate with them— you could only smile. 
They won, despite being the underdogs; they won fair and square. Nodding in satisfaction, you gave both of them a proud thumbs up as the both of them kept waving towards you in the crowd. If you were a little younger you would’ve found yourself down there with them.
But despite the happy occasion, it felt bittersweet. You were happy, so happy for the team but you didn’t want the neglected feelings you’ve tried so hard to push away overtake the joyousness you should be feeling. 
What should you be feeling? 
What were you feeling?
“Y/N!” Turning towards a familiar voice, your heart shunk realizing why the dread you’ve been feeling for the past couple weeks have been eating you up inside. 
“We did it! They did it.” Sunghoon grinned down towards you in joy. 
You noticed it that one evening— you could still see the Sunghoon you met in college, filled with drive and passion both in basketball and life. He wanted to do a lot of things, visit a lot of places, and accomplish a lot of things. You’ve never admitted it but, it tore you up inside wondering if he ever wanted you to be a part of that.
Has he been well since then?
Did he still think of you the way you thought of him?
Were over-easy eggs with a pinch of salt and garlic still his favorite?
What you and he had, is it gone— forever? You never admitted it, but he always lingered in the back of your mind without effort.
“What’s wrong?” You heard him ask you, shaking your head you held back a small cry trying to pass it off as being emotional for the boys. Your response was hushed out by the loud crowd while your eyes trailed to focus on something else other than Sunghoon who recongized that small glint in your gaze.
“Well I think we can thank you for talking some sense into Niki.” he blurted out, making you shake your head in defiance still admiring the confetti falling from above with a small smile. Sunghoon couldn’t help but admire the way your glossy eyes shimmered from the silver confetti falling above, they looked like the stars he used name in his head while stargazing with you on the campus lawn. 
“I owe you one— after this actually if that’s okay.” 
What you didn’t expect was Sunghoon secretly picking you up after the game behind the school. With kids celebrating in the main parking lot and on the field, the last thing you wanted was for a rumor to start about the science teacher and coach leaving with each other after the game. 
“Sorry did you wait long?” he whispered unlocking the door for you, shaking your head with a chuckle you slid in leaving your things in the backseat swiftly. 
“Are you picking a place to eat this time?” you grinned softly, his laugh echoing lightly throughout the car as he quickly pulled out of the parking lot passing by familiar faces you’ve seen in the halls. 
“Well it wouldn’t be much of a treat if you did all the work— did anyone see you?” He asked, eyeing you from his peripheral with a finger tapping the wheel. 
“No only a few teachers left through the back but other than that just Jeno.” you hummed. 
“Jeno?” he whispered, grip tightening on the wheel slightly making you bite back a grin unconsciously. “Mhm, he even asked if I needed any help going to where I needed to go.” you sighed nonchalantly, his occasional glances turning into full head turns— waiting for you to continue. 
“Did you tell him you were taking the bus?” His perplexed tone makes you giggle slightly as you continue to admire the colorful lights blending outside of the window. Sunghoon could feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat waiting for your response, with your head turned the other way he wasn’t sure what to think.
“Nope I told him I was going with you,” A smile broke across his face after realization hit him that you had no problem telling Jeno who you were with, and it was with him— silly he figured but it made his ego swell and cheeks heat. 
“Hey eyes on the road sir.” You playfully reminded him, pushing a finger into his dimple softly causing him to clear his throat in embarrassment —coughing nonchalantly to hide his giddiness.
After pulling into the destination, Sunghoon held a hand out to grab as you confusingly looked at him and then the empty parking lot you were standing in. 
“I was planning on taking you to a nice restaurant worth half of my paycheck but I figured you would’ve liked this a lot better.” he grinned cheekily, closing the trunk with a bag of take-out in one hand and alcohol in the other. Leading you up the stairs, your eyes widened slightly taking in the bright city skyline and busy traffic. 
“It’s not the prettiest but I think it’s still pretty.” He sighed, straightening a small towel he took from the locker room on one of the cemented platforms for you to sit on. 
“No Sunghoon it’s beautiful.” You whispered in a hush, leaning against the cemented edge with your elbows admiring the breeze from this high up, “Seriously.” you weren’t sure why but the view brought a content smile to your lips, after working nonstop for quite a while— you sometimes forget you step back and enjoy the moment. You learned to find the small and ordinary things beautiful, the lining car lights twinkling in the distance to the cicadas singing in the breeze.
Things will continue on in the world whether you comply to that idea or not, and it’s okay.
After perfecting his set up Sunghoon was glad you weren’t too picky about the setting, but you never were. Seeing you stare out to the view in fascination was a reason why he loved experiencing new things with you, not only was he getting to experience something new— but he was able to see you do as well. He loved it. 
“Yeah— it really is beautiful.” He repeated, your head turning at his agreeance only to see his gaze on you. The tip of his nose slightly red from the cold while his eyes were filled with solace as he looked down at you. 
Your heart was doing that thing again…. 
“Um, so did you decide on takeout? How’d you find the place?” You managed to let out, walking towards the small setup Sunghoon laid out as he rushed over to make sure the towel was still flat for you to sit on. “Y-yeah the boys said it was pretty good so I thought maybe we should try it.” He explained, motioning towards the pack of beer that you excitedly opened up. 
“The boys did?” kids were trendy these days and that could mean one of two things— it was gonna be really good, or just really hyped up. Surprisingly it was pretty good, Sunghoon could be a picky eater from what you remember but he was fully enjoying himself—that could also be from the alcohol. 
By now you were a few shots in, a couple of beer cans opened and a whole box of fried chicken finished. With the cold breeze brushing against your hot cheeks you couldn’t help but glance at Sunghoon from time to time secretly. His styled hair was now messed up slightly from the wind and his cheeks were slightly flushed from the alcohol. 
“Sunghoon.” You softly called out, eyes slightly hazed from the can of beer you chugged down wondering if this was a good idea to talk unsober. His low hum sent shivers down your spine as you stared off in the distance towards the twinkling city lights. 
Sunghoon was buzzed, he knew he needed to sober up soon to take you home but the thought of you next to him somehow made him anxious— leading to one too many shots. 
Maybe it was the way you were picking at the empty can between your fingers, or the blank stare off in the distance; he couldn’t tell what you were thinking and it made him wonder. Your somehow sad expression when he found you after the game made him realize one thing, with this time apart he didn’t know how you’ve been at all. 
Were you and your mom still on bad terms? You’ve confided to him one night after he found you crying to yourself when you thought he was asleep, despite how well and proud you presented yourself at school; you never felt good enough which broke his heart. You were sensitive, he knew that— a person who’d rather show off only your happy and good sides despite how polar opposite you might’ve felt.
“Do you regret it?” your small voice broke his thoughts, Sunghoon wasn’t sure if he heard right, the feeling of his heart suddenly dropping along with your solemn expression showed him you were speaking as yourself right now, not as the respective Ms.Kim, not YN from college but you right now in the moment. 
“Regret what?”
With a shaky sigh, you shook your head trying to mask the slight tremor in your voice. 
“I-I don’t know, everything?” You managed to let out, despite everything that happened, you had more good memories to grieve over than the bad—hardly any. Sunghoon was quiet for a while, and it made the thoughts in your mind run for miles wondering why. 
Maybe he did regret it. 
With your mouth gaping slightly the words ‘forget it-–it’s a stupid question’ were at the tip of your tongue. But a part of you knew it wasn’t stupid, it was just closure. 
“You know sometimes I think about it.” He sighed, his voice low from the unexpected question. 
“Just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean you weren’t one of the best things that happened to me Y/N.” you unknowingly let out a shaky sigh, of relief? Content? You were happy to confirm what Sunghoon felt wasn’t a silly fling you tried to convince yourself he saw you as.
Acceptance? With the words ‘we didn’t work out’ solidifying your long-time question of what happened, you were somehow at the same time struggling to accept that this was how things happened. 
We just didn’t work out, despite for how bad you wanted things to— they didn’t.
“Me too—” it was the alcohol. Had to be the alcohol from the way your eyes found his, looking at you with a besotted gaze as warm as the feeling pitting inside. 
“You were mine too.” 
Unable to process what happened next, all you could feel was Sunghoon’s nose brushing against yours while your eyes fluttered on their own. 
His fingertips brushing through your hair and against your jaw had you gasping slightly— had to be the alcohol. The feeling of warmth radiating off his lips had your heart ticking to death, lips so soft you could remember your first shared kiss with Sunghoon under your covers that one night.
His blazer that was on your lap was slipping as the feeling of his chest brushing against yours made you melt inside— it most definitely the alcohol. 
“I regret it.” Your eyes immediately widened, freezing in place not understanding the meaning behind the sudden change in his answer. 
“Fuck I regret it so much Y/N.” he pulled away, running a hand through his locks as your hand slowly falls down on your lap, heart beating loudly from the mix of liquor and your emotions. 
“But you just said you didn’t…” you couldn’t help but notice your voice coming out softly from shock and fear— fear of your worst nightmare coming true. You didn’t realize but a small drop of sadness touched the palm of your hand, a tear. Sunghoon immediately cupped your cheeks whipping them away despite you telling him to let go. 
“No Y/N I meant I regret not reaching out to you after that night at the stupid party— I fucked up.” Your brows furrowed slightly not understanding his confession. 
“I accidentally ran into Naeun a while ago and she told me, everything.” he emphasized, bringing the blazer that was no longer near you back to your lap in a hurry. 
“I was stupid, I was lost, and I ruined everything.” he softly told you, his eyes downcasted towards your hands with remnants of tears that you collected in the past minutes. 
“Did you know her?” his questioning gaze led you to clarify the question further. 
“Did you know the girl you left with that night?” You whispered, playing with your fingers while the wind blew through your hair across your tear-stained skin.  
“What? No Y/N there was no girl… there was never another girl—ever.” He emphasized, turning to you quickly brushing your cheek with his thumb. “I just went outside to see if my friend left and went around the block a few times before talking to Jay…” he explained, hoping you remembered his college friends from that night that could vouch for him. 
Glancing towards Sunghoon your brows furrowed slightly trying to connect the dots, with his soft gaze taking in your reaction you immediately turned to face him as well. 
“And when I came back you were together with Kyungmin—” he cursed slightly his eyes looking into the distance with his brows pulled together. The name was unfamiliar, but you exactly who he was talking about.
“Sunghoon no— I” you denied, shaking your head expressing that you certainly weren’t together with Kyungmin. 
“I know.” he muffled, taking your hand in his before pulling to sit close, the heat from his arm radiating off onto you slightly making it painfully obvious about how close he was to you. Chewing the inside of your cheek, the urge to tell him that you missed him fell at the tip of your tongue—much to your surprise he beat you to it. Bringing your enclasped hands together, a small peck was placed in the center of your dorsal palm, your skin burning with butterflies as a small smile made it’s way to your lips. 
“I missed you so much.” He whispered, his eyes meeting yours filled with solace and sorrow— the moonlight perfectly highlighting the tip of his nose and the darkness of his pupils. 
“I missed you too Hoon.” your small voice making him sigh into your palm almost in content. 
“Missed you too much.” You added seeing his gaze travel across your face made your throat tighten— breathing hitched as the pink of his cheeks and the deep color of his lips became more visible with each passing second.
No matter what happened you realized after meeting Sunghoon again after all these years— you will always find your way back to eachother, back to the person who was meant to have your heart. That’s just how things worked for the both of you.
Two souls such as yourself don’t find eachother by accident or coincidence. 
You could say goodbye to everyone else but not Sunghoon, never Sunghoon. Not when his brown eyes were gazing like you owned his world. His lips pecking your cheek softly as you felt your heart burst in love and jolity.                           
And that feeling of love and jolity continued with each moment of intimacy shared between you two after that night. The secret kisses under the blanket at your condo as he stays the night after only wanting to drop you off after work— to the secret kisses inbetween classes behind the printer in the faculty room and underneath your lab tables.
His slender pinky that would hook onto yours underneath the table during faculty meeting were your favorite, it was quit obvious by the smile ghosting on your lips absentmindedly while Sunghoon swung your intertwined pinkies across his lap. With the festival coming up soon, alot of these sweet moments were limited as the both of you not only had the ending semester work to complete but also responsibilities with the school festival.
But Sunghoon never failed to call you after work, whether you were preparing dinner or getting ready for bed; the chime of your ringtone always brought a smile to your tired expression. 
“Ms.Kim where do you want us to place these chairs?” Twirling the pen between your fingers you motioned for your students to carry the stack of chairs towards the otherside of the court yard. With the festival happening later tonight there were still plenty of tasked to be done and last minute details to perfect before you could call it a day. When hours became one, you were basically running around campus like a crazed chicken to find the missing signs that were needed to complete your photobooth stand.
“Shoot where the hell did I place the signs.” you mumbled, swiftly going to your class that was filled with supplies and crafts done by the students. It was a festive time for the students, exams were over and the holidays were coming up; with the new year came new things to look forward to and the festival was the cherry on top.
“Ow!” You cursed, holding onto your knee that accidentally bumped one of the desk as you rushed to the missing signs that you were looking for. 
“Y/N?” Your eyes instantly darted towards the door seeing an equally disheveled Sunghoon with a box of snacks by his foot, you figured he came up to the class to get supplies as well. 
“Hoon!” you exclaimed softly, getting up from your position noting that despite looking disheveled— Sunghoon was still so handsome. 
“That’s gonna leave a bruise.” he snickered, eyeing the size of your christmas sweater the two of you decided to secretly match with. The memory alone made him smile, the one you initially wanted was out of stock and the next option was two times the size of what you would usually buy. But you looked adorable; slightly flushed from running around, hair was pushed behind the backs of your ears by the headband you were wearing.
“My little reindeer is so cute.” he cheesed, poking your antlers as you looked up to him with a sparkling glimmer in your eyes. Feeling him pull you into his embrace, your arms immediately circled around his wasit, face buried into the wool of his santa sweater as you felt him kiss the top of your crown, whispering a small I missed you inbetween kisses that eventually landed around your face. 
“Everyone did a pretty good job setting up for the festival.” You hummed, looking outside of the window at the twinkling colored lights from down below and the line of people waiting for the festival to begin. 
“Well if it wasn’t for you always on our asses–”
“Sunghoon!” You exclaimed softly, pushing him away as he apologized with a chuckle—reaching to pull you back into his embrace. With your arms leaning against the window, you couldn’t help but smile in silence, silence that was no more filled with pain or acted like a void, it was silence of appreciation. 
“This is kind of familiar don’t you think?” you heard him say beside you, his elbow slightly touching yours against the window as the two of you looked off into the courtyard, a small giggle leaving your lips as he made fun of Jeno for tripping over a few boxes from behind.
Looking up you realized what he meant from his comment as your smile softened at the warm twinkling bulb lights you decorated along the upper rim of your windows.
“Yeah instead this time Jake won’t interrupt us right?” You teased feeling him wrap an arm around your frame trapping you against the window. Leaning down he hummed a thought, his warm breath tickling the apples of your cheeks— the flashes of his friend interrupting his first kiss with you making him chuckle from the thought alone.
“I don’t know wanna try?” Slapping his chest lightly, you couldn’t help but look away shyly, bitting the bottom of your lip at how flustered he was able to make you. Using his free hand, Sunghoon brought your face to look at his again, his fingers tracing the lines of your features while his eyes took in every inch of your face. The two of you gazed at each other again in silence, not saying anything; but it was the kind of nothing that meant and told you all you needed to know once again. 
Sunghoon had a place in your heart you knew was always going to be there. 
“Ms.Kim WOAH–”
Niki.
Pushing Sunghoon away with all your might, you couldn’t help but apologize softly at his taken aback expression as his stumbled back against the lab tables. Clearing his throat as Jungwon and Niki both came rushing in with other students who seemed to have caught the two of you by the window. 
“Y-you were looking for these right? I found them lets go!” grabbing the posters you couldn’t help but curse as the students began talking over you, understanding the situation a little more as Sunghoon smuggly grinned not denying any of the accusations, rubbing the nape of his neck as he took in your flustered expression. 
“Okay okay, I hope everyone here can keep a secret right?” he announced gaining everyone’s attention. Small sounds of disbelief and annoyance echoed throughout the quiet classroom, some of them scoffing at the idea of keep this big of a secret while others were still in shock about their two favorite teachers caught almost kissing.
“If you do I’ll sneak everyone here a breakfast sandwhich for the first day of school after winter break.” he sighed in defeat, grinning in relief as everyone collectively cheered and agreed as one. You quickly told everyone to go down towards the courtyard, as the lines of people began to fill going towards different booths and activities.
“And make sure no one finds out! Actually you can tell Coach Lee I don’t really care.” Sunghoon stated, earning a few chuckles from the students and a glare from you. Shoving the posters towards Jungwon, his dimple came into view as his fond eyes traveled between the you and Sunghoon; a small ‘your secret is safe with me’ making you grin halfheartedly. 
While the room grew quiet, you couldn’t help but snicker slightly as Niki came running back, passing Sunghoon a poster you assumed was a draft or one that was messed up before it was finished. The two of you stood there looking at each other knowing you were caught red handed by your students, gosh this was bad if the board found out. You couldn’t help but notice his grin brightening as you began to freak out at the fact you and Sunghoon almost made out in front of your own kids. 
You were getting fired. Demoted at best, but most definitely fired. This would ruin all the plans you had lining up for your career— THIS was gonna ruin your reputation and—
“Y/N.” pausing mid rant you looked at him and couldn’t help the warmth that spread throughout your chest as your shoulders relaxed almost immediately. 
Of course Niki gave him that one specifically. The cutout poster that had a mistletoe drawn just above his head, small hearts and snowflakes lining the borders with the words ‘I like you, from my head to my mistleTOE’ written on the bottom. Your laugh echoing through the class as Sunghoon quickly embraced you placing kisses around your face. 
In moments like this is when you realized you were grateful for Sunghoon in more ways than one. When you picture yourself being happy, there are many things that come to mind. Traveling the world to places that have always been on your bucketlist, learning how to cook michelin star dishes that you’ve had at restaurants, you wanted to raise a puppy on your own and even thought about going back to school to get your doctoral degree in science. 
Those were all things you want to do, things you wanted to do with Sunghoon. You weren’t going to make him your sole reason of happiness that’s a little silly, but you smiled more when you were with him, and you realized he understood you more than anyone else has. He made your ordinary moments feel magical and was the kind of person who pushes you to be better, he was your best friend.
In between kisses and embraces Sunghoon never failed to let you know he loved you both in tone and in silence, and he never failed to show you a different side of living that was of course filled with love.
Because that was just who Sunghoon was, someone filled — With Love.
1K notes · View notes
fairlyang · 3 months
Text
Roommate 🕷️
you get caught masturbating by your hot cocky roommate, and he helps you out
w/c: 4.3K
pairing: roommate!miguel x f!reader
tags: 18+ smut. fantasizing about him, thinking you're alone, being watched, flashbacks, he scared the living daylights out of you, secondhand embarrassment (I live for some cringe), confessions, rough, some spanish dirty talk (no Google translate but yes English translations), creampie, and passing tf out
notes: number three of my og fics from june and I don’t hate this one as much
You were a college student living in an apartment in New York with a cocky roommate because the rent would be too much for you alone. Miguel O'Hara.
You stumbled across his ad looking for a roommate who didn't have any kids, and wasn't a piece of shit who paid bills late. So you messaged him and said you were responsible with bills and didn't have any children. He messaged back within the same hour and asked when you can move in.
It was a little over a year since then and time flew fast. You almost never got to see Miguel because of school and work. You were in your junior year of college and were finally in a good working position with decent pay.
You weren't sure what kind of job Miguel has but it has to be something really frustrating because he comes home mad as shit super often. Maybe he works in construction? Not sure but he definitely has the build for it.
Now with finals week you were stressed as fuck scrambling to finish some work and any extra credit assignments to end your junior year of college well. You already had your day to day schedule set, classes between 8am-12pm and work between 2-10 occasionally 11.
Miguel's schedule on the other hand was all over the place and you never knew when you'd be seeing him, when he'd be home, and he still pays his half of the bills but what was the point if he barely stays here anyway?
You minded your business and the very rare times you end up stumbling across him you keep conversations casual not wanting to overstep or make him uncomfortable. But you still end up talking back to him playfully and he doesn't mind so that's been a good sign.
Tonight there was no sign of him, and you've been very stressed and touch starved all week long. You shut your bedroom curtains and jump onto your bed. You get comfortable and take off your pj pants but keeping your tank top on. You first start lightly rubbing your nipples, then pinching one and the other. You moan and feel them both getting hard. You squeeze your tits, closing your eyes.
You play with them imagining it's Miguel's hands on you instead of yours. "S-shit."
Your right hand trails down to your panties, you slowly rub your clit in circle subconsciously clenching your thighs from how sensitive it feels. You open your eyes and giggle. It's really been a while.
Your thoughts go back to Miguel and you've found him attractive since you stumbled upon his ad but it intensified when you moved in and he was around way more.
You were hanging in the living room reading when you hear a door slam and it startled you a bit. Then you hear a door open so you assumed Miguel just went back to his room so you kept reading.
You were sitting with your legs out on the sofa and you were facing the kitchen instead of the tv. Past the kitchen is a hallway that leads to your room, the bathroom then Miguel's at the end. You heard his footsteps moving around until you saw him walking straight into the kitchen with only a towel on his waist.
His skin was glistening, still wet. You widen your eyes and shook your head looking down at your book. But who were you kidding.... You bite your lip, looking up to look at his muscular back as he was getting something from the fridge. You look at how his shoulders move as he grabs something and your breathing becomes uneasy.
You quickly look back down at your book as he closes the fridge. We had an open bar kinda of island so you could look into the kitchen and he could look into the living room, which was what he was doing...
You felt his eyes on you so you try your best to stay calm, control your breathing and boom you're fine. Until he turns back around to get a snack from the cupboard reaching for the whatever was on the top shelf- he was already very tall so you knew he was doing for your viewing pleasure making you flush.
You roll your eyes but might as well- his biceps were huge, his shoulder blades were insane and your eyes began to feel very lustful. He puts down whatever he got and all of a sudden has to yawn and crack his back flexing everything for you to see. You felt like you were in a trance and couldn't look away until you heard him chuckle.
He starts turning around and you look down as soon as you saw him move and bite your lip. Shit shit shit. "Y'know you could take a picture if you'd like muñeca, they last longer." He says with a smirk on his face. (doll)
"I think I'll pass thanks." You say looking him in his eyes as you're scrunching your nose in fake disgust while he just smirks at you and walks away.
Your fingers were rubbing a little faster now slightly feeling your wetness over your panties. Damn.
You stop and lean over to your bedside table and grab your dildo. Might as well.
You move your panties to the side then spit on your dildo and making sure it gets everywhere. You grab it with one hand and use the other to stroke it. God why isn't this Miguel.
You lay on your stomach and close your eyes. You kiss the tip and start to slowly take it in your mouth. You moan and go lower until you feel the tip at your uvula. You pull away and moan using all your spit to stroke it again.
You move it to your bottom half and line it up to your wet pussy. "O-oh shit-" your eyes widen realizing how tight you are. Has it really been that long???
You take it out and start sucking again until you get more saliva and try to fit it inside again. The tip is barely in and you whine. You slowly fuck the tip into you until your pussy gets use to it and then it feels fine so you put it in a bit deeper and now you're halfway on your 8 inch dildo.
You moan and clench your thighs. You roll your eyes back and blink them open looking at how you fuck yourself slowly. You spread your legs with one hand between them fucking your pussy slowly when you push in further and take all of it. You whimper and shake a little. You grab a body pillow and place it on top of you, your empty hand grabbing onto it hard. You close your eyes and start to think of it being Miguel's dick inside you, teasing you not wanting to pound into you yet.
You decided to do some yoga in the living room while watching a video on the tv. You were in a sports bra and tight fitting shorts accentuating your curves, thighs, and ass. You didn't even hear him come in when you were doing the downward dog then switched to the doggy position unknowing you were being watched.
You did a straddle split and leaning forward for a solid minute when you heard a low whistle startling you. Your heart jumped out of your chest as you sit up and look behind you. "Were you... watching me?" You ask your eyebrows furrowed, confused as shit.
"Thought I could take some notes..." He says with a confident manner and gives you a wink making you roll your eyes.
"Acting as if you could do that O'Hara, no seas baboso." You chuckle and smirk. (Don't be stupid)
He has a smug grin on his face and you think of something. You go get into the extended doggy position earning a gulp and a quiet "chingada madre" from Miguel. (Mother fucker)
You try not to make any noises besides your steady breathing. You hold it for a good fifteen seconds before saying, "Take a picture it'll last longer."
"I just might..." he says sounding like he's out of breath making you smirk.
You fuck yourself faster and harder feeling your pussy starting to cream against your dildo. Your grip on the pillow was harder and needy, as if you were grabbing against Miguel's back. "F-fuck- mmmm god j-just like that" you moan out clenching against your dildo making you shake.
You stop for a second to control your breathing. You go back to it but at a slower pace, lovingly, and passionately. You fight back the urge to moan his name but couldn't resist. "Así Miguel- n-no pares—" you moan and feel yourself squirming into the mattress. (Just like that Miguel- d-don't stop—")
You move your hand a little faster and trying to hit deeper but you're feeling tired already. You whine as you hear the creaminess with every trust. My cream would look so good on his thick cock. "Miguel te necesito- fuckk- I need you- oh I need you so ba- bad-" you moan out shaking. (I need you)
You feel that familiar feeling in your stomach and you start to fuck yourself deeper and faster whining and moaning so much more. "Fuck- so g-good."
Your juices make even more noise and you start sweating so you move your pillow to the side never opening your eyes, for more immersion. Your left hand rubs your clit while your right is still going in and out of you. You suddenly feel your orgasm take over and you fuck yourself as deep as you can take it letting out the most animalistic moans and needy whines ever. "a-a- fuck- a-ay M-Miguel-! fill me s-so good p-pl- please-"
You completely stop, your whole body shaking, your mind all foggy and when you try to open your eyes they're all hazy so you just close them again. You calm your breathing and slowly take your dildo out. It plops out and sounds like it splashed out. Really sounds like you got filled.
You sigh and bring your dildo up to your lips softly kissing it. You then lick it and get a taste of your creamy pussy until you start to lick it off the whole thing. You get the taste of your pussy off your entire dildo until you find yourself sucking on it again. You take it down your throat just gagging on it until you pull it out and breathe out. All done.
You leave it on your stomach as you rub your eyes slowly a yawn coming out of your mouth. Wonder what time it is. You lean over to your bedside table putting it on a clean towel and check your phone. It's 12:58pm. Damn.
You leave your phone there, and go back to your previous position on your bed and yawn again rubbing your eyes. When you open them you scream. You sit up trying to cover yourself fast but it's too late. "M-MIGUEL??? W-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!??!?" You yell pulling your tank top down, and grabbing your pillow to cover your bottom half.
Your cheeks have never felt this hot in your life, oh GOD WHAT DID HE HEAR-
You feel sick to your stomach- he's literally just standing in the middle of the room with his eyes closed? But WHY-
Your eyes are wide, cheeks so fucking red. Oh my god he saw everything-  you gulp and reach down to quickly fix your panties and try to calm down. "So!??!??" You yell waiting for an answer.
He takes a step closer and you can finally see him clearly in the light. He was wearing a black tee with grey sweatpants making your breath hitch when you saw his stiff bulge. Once you look back at his face his eyes open and they're red.
You jump and your heart started beating fast as fuck. "Chingada madr— W- wha- who- Miguel? What the fuck-" (mother fucke-)
He walks over to the left side of the bed making you move to the other side scared shitless. He chuckles and as fast as you can blink he's on your side of the bed grabbing your hips and leading you against the wall, grinding you onto him. You whimper and try to get out of his grasp. "Don't try it doll... no need to act like you don't want me to play with you." He says using a finger to lift your chin to meet his eyes.
His red eyes filled with so much lust it scared you. Excited you even. "W-what are you-" You ask nervously biting your lip.
He chuckles again and pushes you against the wall. You gasp as his hands start to roam your body. You bite your lip as his hands caress your hips, smacks your ass, and then pulls on your hair from behind. Your head was pulled back as well and he leans in to kiss your neck. You moan and wrap your arms behind his neck twisting and pulling on pieces of hair. He groans against your skin and bites on it. You whimper and he leaves a wet kiss on it.
He pulls away but leans close to your face, "Wanna tell me what you were doing?" He leans in about to touch your quivering lips.
"I- uh I got- horny." You whisper breathing on his lips.
"Yeah? So horny you started thinking of me playing with you hmm?" Your thighs clench and you bite your lip looking up at him.
"Contéstame amor." He growls and you moan. (Answer me love)
"Mhm- it's not the first nor the last time I'll do it either." You say looking up at him with the most innocent eyes you could pull.
He groans and grinds his bulge against your stomach making your wide go wide. "Good girl...." He snarls making your thighs clench even more.
"What were you thinking of specifically right now as you came?" He asks tracing his fingers along your neck and collarbone.
"I- I- uh- mmm..."
"Answer." He growls and you nod.
He groans and quickly picks you up and holds you against the wall. "So you like being a dirty girl when I'm gone? Not even thinking I could catch you? Not bothering to think of how hard you make me...." He snarks a hand behind your neck.
This left you breathless and made you whimper more. You wrap your legs around his hips even more to have his bulge rub against your covered but drenched pussy. "I- fuck- I haven't touched myself in a week and I needed to feel something inside me- I n-never knew you thought of me that way-" you say and he growls grinding harder against you.
You both moan at the same time and he leans in millimeters from your lips. "I've been wanting to fuck you since we met." He whispers and you smash your lips together. He reciprocated and moans into your mouth.
You have one hand on his cheek and the other gripping hairs between your fingers. His were on your neck and playing with your hair. His tongue slides into your mouth and you let him. His tongue was exploring your mouth and you couldn't even believe this was happening. You tug on his shirt to take it off and he pulls away for literally a second somehow taking it off and his lips were back on yours. "Tan hermosa...." (So beautiful)
You moan and he grinds harder against you. He groans against your mouth and you feel him grab your tank top. Then you hear the sound of fabric ripping and in two seconds its gone. "I'll get you a new one." He mutters when you stopped kissing back to say something.
"So how long were you watching me for? you perv..." You ask pulling away finally getting your hands on his broad shoulders and big biceps.
"As soon as you started fucking yourself. God I heard your moans and couldn't help myself coming in to watch- mm I needed to finally have you for myself." He answers and leaves another mark on your neck but going towards your chest.
"You can have all of me." You whisper making him squeeze your tits roughly and suck on your nipple so roughly.
You gasp and he carries you to the bed. He puts you down towards the middle and he gets on top of you kissing you desperately. Your hands are all over each other and the kiss get more and more heated, needy, and hot. He pulls away and leaves trails of kisses on your jaw, when he leaves a couple marks on your neck. "Fuck-"
He kisses them after leaving marks and goes down to suck on your nipples again while his hand goes down to rub you over your panties. "Mmm- fuck- así M-Miguel." You moan out and feel yourself shake a bit.
He runs your clit a little faster but it's still sensitive so you buck your hips up whining. He stops and pulls away looking up at you, "was that too much?"
"N-no just uh still sensitive." You say looking anywhere but his eyes.
"Then how about no foreplay and I just fuck you?" He whispers making you clench your thighs.
He smirks and leans in to kiss you. You tug on the waistband of his sweats while kissing him and he grunts. "Well actually I might wanna use your mouth a bit...." He says and you smile.
You grab him and flip positions so you're on top of him. You sit up and place yourself right on his bulge and grind on it slowly. He leans his head back his mouthing in the shape of an o and his breathing heavy. "Don't tease me too much or you won't end up liking the outcome...."
You shrug and lay one hand against his chest while grinding against him. "Jesus you're so hard- did you even stroke yourself watching me or just tortured yourself and watched?" You ask with a chuckle making him smirk.
"Might’ve been more interested in the show to even do anything...." He says and winks.
You grin and go down his body, tracing your fingers along every crevice and line, along his abs and v line. You lick down his v line to where his sweats were. "Don't need these right now..." you pull them down as he shifts up a bit so you can get them over his ass.
You slide them all the way down and just look at his bulge over his tight fitting boxers. It looks so long and thick. "Wore these on purpose hm?"
"Just took a guess." He says with a smirk.
You grab the top of the boxers and pull them off slowly until you get to where the whole thing just plops out and hits his stomach making your eyes widen. "Now suck on it like you sucked on your dildo." He says making you gulp. He's insane.
It was a good 8 to 9 inches but so fucking girthy your mind couldn't wrap your head around it. You grab the bottom of it and you have to practically grab it with both your hands. You bite your lip then kiss the tip softly. Then you stick your tongue out and slap it against your wet tongue. He quietly moans and you look up at him and do it again. He rolls his eyes back and his head against the headboard. You giggle and spit on the tip watching it all go down and slowly stroke it to have all the saliva cover it. You spit on it some more and start stroking him. While you do that you go down to his balls and suck on them. You could hear him moan some more and you could feel how wet it's making you. "Así cariño no pares- ay si-" (Just like that dear don't stop- oh fuck)
You stroke him a little faster now and come up to suck on it. You get in a decent position and slide it in your mouth slowly. You close your eyes and start going down and back up. You go about halfway until he thrusts his hips making you take the whole thing down your throat, and you moan on it. You pull up and breathe out. "Would you prefer to fuck my face? I don't have a gag reflex...."
He widens his eyes and grabs you leading you towards the floor. You get on your knees while he stands in front of you. "It won't be for too long.... This time." He says with a wink making your cheeks flush red.
"I just really need to feel your throat real quick... then that wet pussy." He says and you nod.
"You can pull on my hair too if you want..."
"Dios- porque estas tan perfecta- mas que me imaginé..." he says and goes straight to work grabbing your hair with one hand and letting you put your mouth on it first. (God- why are you so perfect- more than I imagined...)
He starts to slowly move his hips letting you adjust for a few seconds before he finally starts going faster. Your head is still and he's the one doing all the moving, you close your eyes while you feel him in your mouth going deeper and deeper. You feel him go down your throat and he keeps hitting it making you drip. He goes faster and he doesn't stop moaning your name while still having a tight grip on your hair. "Fuck- Y/n your t-throat feels so good."
You moan against his dick and he groans. "Fuck this-" he says and moving back and sliding his dick out of your mouth.
He grabs your hands helping you get up only to have him man handle you on to the bed making you lay on your stomach. "Ass up now." He says in a stern voice and you comply.
You move your ass as much as you can and then arch your back. "The dirtiest girl huh?" He smirks and lines up his dick to your pussy.
"Nomas para ti Miguel." You murmur looking back at him and he moans and slams into you making you jump and whimper. (Just for you Miguel)
"H-holy fu- oh s-shit-!" you moan, your legs shaking already.
He grabs onto your hips and starts fucking you faster already not letting you adjust at all. You moan and roll your eyes back. He's moaning and groaning the room filled with the sound of skin to skin, his body against yours. "Migue-" you moan out and lay your head against the bed.
"Fuck baby- god you feel so much better than I thought you would." He says making you whimper and clench cashing him to moan.
"Fuck- oh fuck you're so tight around me baby-"
His words just do something to your body and you're already feel all dazed and obsessed with him fucking you. So many months of fantasizing and now it's finally happening. He's pounding into you and smacking your ass leaving it red. "Miguel deeper plea-"
He cuts you off by fucking you deeper making you both moan and making you clench around him again as well as whine. "O-oh fuck- oh Miguel I'm-"
"Me too baby, fuck I wanna cum inside you-" he moans out and you clench again making him go faster.
He's pounding into you and you feel your orgasm come fast. He moans with every trust he makes and it's driving you insane. Your arch is no longer an arch as your legs were slowly giving up on you but that didn't stop Miguel from still fucking you hard and also leaning down to you his mouth to your ear, and whispering dirty things to you. "Así soñabas que te cogiera nena? Eh? Quisiste esto desde que me viste huh? Yo se que yo si, mmm desde que v-veniste el primer día." (Is this how you dreamed I'd fuck you baby girl? You've wanted this since you first saw me huh? I know I did, mm since the first time you c-came.)
Your eyes rolls back and you whimper, "fuck- yes- fuck I dreamt you'd fuck me like this every- every fucking night Miguel."
He goes back to his original position but he flips you around so you're on your back while he was still inside you. "I wanna look at your pretty face while I cum deep inside you."
You wrap your arms around his neck and bring him in for a kiss. It's instantly needy and desperate, his tongue in your mouth and yours trying to go into his, with his pace still going strong. "P-pleas-"
He goes a bit slower and he moans in your mouth. Your hands go to his back light digging your nails into his skin which makes him groan. He fucks you deeper again unexpectedly so your nails dig into his skin a little harder and you feel close. "M-Miguel- I'm so- fu- I'm so clo-"
He pulls away him your mouth and nods, "me too angel- cum with me."
You moan and wrap your legs around his legs and it feels even bigger inside you. You both moan together and his legs start shaking. You're feeling tired fast but you need to cum with him. Your eyes are closing as you're ready for him to cum inside you to sleep together. You both start shaking as you clench around him and he groans finally shooting his cum inside you and your orgasm takes over, your legs shaking as he stops. You're both panting in each others face when he goes all the way inside you making sure every inch of you is covered. He slowly pulls out and all his cum spills out. "Jesus fuck Y/n- holy- god that pussy worked fucking wonders."
You shake and just nod before closing your eyes and losing consciousness. "Goodnight love."
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letstripdotcom · 2 months
Text
shut up my moms calling- chris sturniolo x fem!reader
a/n i love naming my fics after songs bc then i listen to them on replay while i write.
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summary- coming home from college means seeing the kid you’ve hated most your whole life. chris sturniolo. you’ve hated everything about his existence since the beginning of 6th grade when you transferred to somerville. the summer after your freshman year of college is when everything starts to change.
warnings- long(ish) smut ofc, mention of toxic relationship, choking, pet names (princess, baby, pretty girl) overstimulation {i think that’s all!}
-
6th grade
i just moved from oklahoma to a small town outside of boston called somerville. it was my first day of 6th grade and i was everything but excited to go. i had a good amount of friends in oklahoma, and absolutely none in massachusetts. if it were up to me i would have stayed, but i had no choice because my mom got offered better work down here.
i walked into the crowded classroom with my schedule in hand. “is this mrs sawyers class?” i ask quietly. “yes it is, and you must be y/n?” she looks up at me through her glasses. “y-yes” i utter nervously. “nice to meet you, have a seat wherever” I walk to a more empty side of the classroom and take a seat.
“newww girlll” i voice calls out in a mocking tone when i sit down. when i look up i lock eyes with a boy with short brown hair. hes sat with his 2 triplet brothers and another one of their friends. “yeah?” i say quietly. he starts immediately attacking me with questions
“where are you from? why are you here? what school did you go to last? did you have friends” i’m overwhelmed as questions pour out of his mouth. “chris you’re freaking her out” his brother says. “i’m nick.” he smiles at me. “that’s chris, obviously, and that’s matt”
“hey nice to meet you” the third one says. “oh and that’s nate.” nick says. i nod my head looking at the 4 boys. “i’m y/n” i say. “y/n?” chris says under his breath almost inaudible. “excuse me?” i say turning my head to look at him. “what nothing.” he tries to play it off
“who decided on the name y/n, your mom or your dad?” chris asks with a disgusted but confused look on his face. “it was my mom’s best friend’s name before she passed.” i explained. “tough” he muttered. the whole rest of the class period was filled with his snarky remarks and questions.
over time, as i got closer to matt and nick, the snarky remarks from chris turned into full on arguments. anything i would say would lead to chris having something else to say. i could tell him my head hurts and he would say something along the lines of “maybe if you wouldn’t think so hard about what to say and just shut the fuck up for once that wound be a problem.” i would just roll my eyes and go back to talking to nick
-
this behavior lasted all the way through senior year of high school. i stayed close with nick and matt, which means i was stuck with chris. we got in several heated arguments over the years and they all led to me leaving the triplets house at 2 in the morning because i couldn’t physically be around chris.
our last big fight was the weekend before i left for college. nick wanted to host a small party of about 15 friends for me since i wouldn’t be seeing him again til the summer. we were setting up the decorations and chris was being extra annoying.
“chris can you actually help out and stop acting like a fucking toddler.” i snapped at him while he stood under me watching me hang up a banner. “maybe if you weren’t nagging at me every 30 seconds.” he complained. “i wouldn’t be nagging if you wouldn’t stand in my way instead of actually contributing to anything in this world” i yelled, stepping off the ladder as i finished hanging the banner.
“you act like i wanna do this party. i don’t give a fuck about you.” he spat “i might not even show up tonight because you’ve been a bitch all day long!” my heart dropped and i felt a lump form in my throat. bitch? me and chris never got along but he never called me a bitch
he knew how much i hated it because of a past relationship i had. during junior year, i was in a super toxic relationship with a kid from our school. i was so naive i had thought he had actually liked me but it turns out i was wrong. we would constantly argue and he would gaslight me into forgiving him.
i stared at chris blankly as tears formed in my eyes. “y/n i-“ “fuck you chris.” i cut him off “and yeah i think it’s best you don’t show up tonight.” i ran upstairs to the bathroom and wiped away my tears. i checked in the mirror and adjusted myself before going back down.
-
present day
i hung up the phone with nick and got in my car. i was on my way home from college for the summer, and i finally got to see my best friend. he’s so excited that he rented out a cabin by the lake for a whole week to celebrate. i haven’t seen any of the triplets since i left, i haven’t seen chris since before the party. chris. my stomach dropped and my heart started pounding when the realization hit that i would be seeing chris.
i didn’t want to see him at all. nick said he changed a lot, and maybe he did, but you can never be too sure. and he did change a lot physically. chris was much more attractive then he was in highschool, not that he’s ever been unattractive, other than his personality.
about a few hours later i called nick to tell him i was close to the cabin. i pulled in and nick darted outside. “omgggg it’s been forever” i squealed as i got out of my car. “you have to see the place!” he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the back of the house. “there’s a hot tub, a massive pool and all of this space.” he gawked at the house. we went inside as he gave me a tour of the house. “this is your room!” he announced pointing inside.
i looked around and it was absolutely beautiful. “thank you so much nick this is amazing” i hugged him. “don’t thank me too much” he said “i had to put you in the room across the hall from chris, i hope you don’t mind because i’ll work something out”
“no that’s totally fine, i’ll just pretend he isn’t even here” i smiled. he smiled back “okay i’ll be downstairs getting everything ready bc we’re gonna have movie night tonight just like high school.” he said as he left my room.
after i got settled in, i took a shower. i picked out my pajamas which was just a big t shirt and shorts and i headed down stairs happily. “there she is!” matt exclaimed, giving me a hug. “matt i missed you so much!” i said hugging him back
after i pulled away, i made eye contact with chris, who was glaring at me and matt. i shot him a calm smile and looked away. wow chris got really hot. you thought to yourself. no, chris is awful. but i couldn’t help but notice his fluffy hair and his defined jawline.
i noticed his sun kissed face, which made his freckles stand out. god i could only imagine what he looked like with my leg- no. remember what chris said to you. i snapped myself out of my thoughts and sat by nick on the the couch. he handed me a blanket and i cuddled up next to him and focused my eyes on the screen
my focus only lasted for about 30 seconds before my mind was back on chris. why hasn’t he spoke to me? because he hates me. duh. i wonder what he’s thinking right now. why am i so worried about chris? “you okay?” nick asks from beside me. “yeah i’m fine” i say in a convincing reassuring tone.
after the movie ends, i say goodnight and i head up to my room. i get situated in my bed, and i try to fall asleep but i can’t. my mind is flooded with thoughts of chris, and the next thing i know my hand is down my pants. what has happened to me?
this is chris sturniolo, the kid who’s bullied me for 7 years. i never imagined i would be getting off to the thought of him at 2 in the morning. i need to go to bed, but i physically can’t.
i get up out of bed and dig through my bags. i grab my pink swim suit and put it on. a get a towel from my bathroom and quietly head down stairs. i go out the back door and get in the hot tub. i zone out and try to find peace of mind.
i sit there with my eyes closed until i hear someone else getting in the water. i open my eyes, only to see chris. great. this is exactly what i need right now. “look y/n” his voice breaks me out of my thoughts. “i’m really sorry for the way i’ve treated you, you didn’t deserve any of it. but, we’re older now so i wanna put the past in the past”
“i forgive you” i say flatly. “really?” he seems genuinely shocked. “can i kiss you?” i asked immediately regretting what i said. “what?” is all he says before i grab my towel and run inside.
i lay on my bed for a split second before i hear a knock. i know it’s chris, but i still go to the door and answer it. i look up at him with a guilty look on my face. before i speak he’s slamming his face into mine.
he kisses me very passionately like he’s been waiting is whole life. he pushes me into my room and shuts the door behind us. he turns me and pushes me against is as he kisses me harder. one of his hands come up and squeeze my neck slightly
i moan into his mouth causing him to squeeze harder. i moan again growing super wet between my legs. one of my hands come up to tug on his hair, while the other one makes its way up his shirt.
with one hand still around my neck, he guides me over to my bed and lays me down flat as he climbs on top of me. “can i?” he asks, toying with the strap of my top. “pls chris” i whine. he unties my top and yanks it off, his mouth immediately meeting my nipple, his available hand massaging my other breast.
i throw my head back and moan as he does whatever he wants. next thing i know, his hand is coming off my throat, and down my body. he stops abt my bottoms before looking at me for confirmation. i nod desperately. his cold hands slip into my bottoms as his fingers meet my clit.
i’m a moaning mess at this point, begging for whatever contact i can get. “god you’re fucking soaked.” he says, his voice raspy and quiet. “fuck chris please touch me.” i beg “whatever you want princess” he says before putting his ring and middle finger inside of me. he quickly pumps in and out for a few seconds before i cut him of. “chris wait” i say
“are you okay did i do something wrong?” he questions. “no but i have an idea.” i tell him. i then instruct him to lay on his back and put his head on the pillow. i watch as he does what i say. once he’s situated i ask him “can i sit on your face?”
i laughed a little inside about how innocent it sounded. “of course princess” he says. i make my way closer to him as i put my legs on either side of his head. i slightly lower myself down, enough to make contact.
my legs shake as i try to hold myself up while he eats me. he lifts me up a little and says “don’t be shy baby, suffocate me.” he grips my waist harder as he pulls me down all the way onto his face. my back arches at the contact.
chris eats me like i was his last meal, i grip the headboard, and struggle to stay quiet while his nose rubs my clit. “chris i’m g-gonna cum” i whine. one of his hands come off my waist and grabs my ass, massaging it. my legs squeeze his head. and i moan uncontrollably as i release all over his face.
after i come down from my high, i get off and straddle his waist. i lean down and kiss him, tasting myself. i grind on his hard on while we kiss, making him grunt. i reach my hand down and palm his boxers as his body twitches.
i go for the band of his swim shorts and slowly pull them down, exposing his hard dick. i look him in the eyes, to get his consent “y/n please” is all i need to hear before i slowly stroke him. he moans and tosses his head back
after a few more strokes, i sit up and line myself up with him. i slowly lower myself onto him, wincing at his size as i feel him in me. once i’m fully sat, i sit still for a minute to adjust. once i’m ready i start bouncing up and down. he puts one hand on my waist to guide me, as the other one makes it way to mu sensitive clit.
“ughh chris don’t stop” i whine as i ride him. my words make him rub my clit even faster than before. my eyes are now practically stuck in the back of my head as i moan out for him. when i’m about to finish, i clench around him, making his mouth fall open. i come all over him, as he helps me through my high
“good job princess.” he grunts i keep riding him until i feel him twitch. “you feel so good pretty girl. i’m almost there.” i clench again, becoming slightly overstimulated. just then he releases, inside of me. after he comes down i slide off and plop on my bed.
“you okay princess?” he asks with concern “overstimulated” is all i can bring myself to mutter. chris picks me up and lays me in a more comfortable spot on the bed. he then heads to my bathroom and comes back with a towel. he helps clean me off before he finds the shorts and shirt i had on earlier.
he helps me put them on, then he puts his shorts on and goes to his room. i feel sad in that moment. how could he to all of that just to leave? just then he enters my room with pajama pants on. “don’t worry i’m not going anywhere.” he whispers as he crawls into bed with me.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••
a/n: kinda love this what do u think?
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luna0713hunter · 3 months
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Choso was never interested in dating.
Ever since he was young,and with their parents' sudden death,his only goal in life was to take care of his younger brother,Yuji.
Yuji was a handful since the very day he was born,and with how sick their grandpa was,Choso didnt have anyone to trust Yuji with. So he ditched his friends after school, skipped classes as much as possible and declined anybody's help because;who could he trust his only family left (beside his grandpa) with?
But when Yuji started highschool,and wasnt so alone anymore with that Megumi and Nobara girl;he insisted that Choso finally continue with his study on where he had left.
Choso reluctantly,started college again.
It was the same as highschool;he wouldnt hang out with anybody,just going back home straight from lectures or part time jobs. He rathered spend his time taking care of Yuji or cleaning their home when he could instead of meaningless things like going out for drinks,or dating,or simply talking with anyone.
And he really,was ok with all this.
Until,well,you decided to sit beside him on one of the most boring lectures he's ever had in his life.
Choso doesnt acknowledge you at first;simply staring at a photo Yuji had just sent him while hanging out with his friends after school. A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips and he lets out a heavy sigh; Yuji had grown so much so fast. He was proud.
"This is such a fucking boring lecture."
Your annoyed whisper snaps him out of his daze,and he casts a side glance to you. You send a smile his way and shake you head.
"I would literally kill to leave right now."
Choso takes good look at you;from how you've styled your hair to your shimmering eyes shining brightly. You rose-colored lips look soft,and-
Choso clears his throat.
You're pretty.
"Same." An awkward pause,then "do you want to ditch the lecture?"
When you give him a surprised look,he clears his throat again.
"For coffee."
And the smile he receives in return is almost blinding.
So as soon as the professor turns his back to you, you're both making a run for it. The small excitement of ditching class has you giggling and Choso relishes the sound.
"I'm y/n,by the way."
"Choso."
You give him a knowing smile and wink.
"I know." When he gives you a confused look,you laugh and together you start to walk toward the cafe near the campus. "I've known you since you started this class. We were in the same lectures for some time,but you never seemed like you cared about any of them. Always on your phone, rarely smiling,and the few times I've heard you talk,it was always about this 'Yuji' dude." You nudge his side with your elbow,but for some reason,he feels like your smile has deemed slightly.
"You're boyfriend?"
Choso makes a disgusted face and groans.
"He's my younger brother. I've took care of him ever since he was small. Naturally, he's all i talk about since i spend all my time with him."
And at the metion of 'brother',your face breaks out in the brightest smile.
"Oh gosh thats so cute!how old is he?whats he like?!"
And for once,Choso feels relaxed talking about Yuji. He doesnt receive bored looks from;only pure excitement and laughter as he tells you some funny stories about Yuji's childhood while you both sat down at the cafe.
And before you know it,three hours have passed and neither of you show any sign of leaving.
When you finish the small chocolate cake that Choso has bought you,you sigh and rest your head on your arms across the table.
"I dont wanna leave! you're fun to talk to!"
Choso stares;the corner of his mouth twitching upwards.
"We can continue tomorrow. Over lunch."
At the mention of seeing together again,you perk up so fast that has Choso letting out a small chuckle.
"Really?like a date?"
And when Choso returns home that evening with a small grin on his lips,Yuji drops the laundry basket he's holding.
"What's with that face?!why are you smiling?"
Choso hangs his jacket and moves to kitchen to start dinner.
"Yuji,i wont be home for lunch tomorrow. Will you be ok?"
"Why?you got a date or something?"
Choso smiles and starts cooking.
"Yeah. Something like that."
358 notes · View notes
heavyhitterheaux · 3 months
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Ghost Part 1
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AN: everyone ignore the fact that it took me almost a year to finish this lol
Synopsis: You're an OnlyFans model that gets pregnant by none other than Jack Harlow, who runs at the first sign of taking responsibility for his actions. But soon enough, his responsibilities get to be too much for him to ignore
Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
'I'm a good girl'
At least that’s what you told yourself 
But good girls didn't go to school by day and were a cam girl at night.
However, you were 
It was only for a little while
Just until you finished school
You needed a way to pay for it somehow
Besides the money was good and it kept a roof over your head
You admit that this wasn't your first choice in a career path obviously, but you had to do what you had to do in order to survive.
You had been in foster care since you were 9 because your parents and brother passed away in a car accident while you were the lone survivor
Your grandparents were older and they couldn't take care of you so that's when you went into the system 
Your aunt which was your mother's sister and your mother didn't get along and she said that there was no way in hell that she would take you and that you were someone else’s problem
I mean she did have five kids of her own to take care of, but to be that cold hearted to a nine year old?
You admit that you had survivor's guilt and would do anything to have all three of them here with you. But you knew that they would have wanted for you to have the best life that you could possibly have and that you were going to make sure of it. 
But if they were here, then maybe just maybe, your current life would be different.
You had dreams of becoming a preschool teacher since you were diagnosed at 15 with PCOS and you were told that your chances of getting pregnant were slim to none. It definitely hurt because since you didn’t have any immediate family left, that you wanted to have as many as you could. 
But you figured if you couldn’t have any of your own that you would teach them instead. If you could plant little seeds into their minds that will be able to set them up for greatness then you were all for it. 
You put on your newest lingerie set that was gifted to you by one if not your favorite supporter you would say who went by the name Mr.Missionary and was setting up your camera in order to get the perfect view.
One thing about you is that you never showed your face
Only thing they could see was from the neck down
You did that on purpose because the last thing you wanted was for someone to know what you looked like.
It wasn't the fact that you were embarrassed of what you did, but you wanted to remain as anonymous as possible so for the future, your career wouldn't be impacted. You could only imagine what would happen if someone found out what you had done in college when you were teaching their small children. It probably wouldn’t be good and the next thing that would probably happen is you being out of a job. 
You saw time and time again that happening to different people and that's one thing you did not want to deal with.
But, back to Mr. Missionary
He was a sweet talker and knew exactly what to say.
It all started with a message from him asking you if you were comfortable showing your face to him.
Since he had been supportive of you since day one, you figured why not. But also told him not to share any of the photos that you sent him to anyone else. 
So your jaw definitely dropped when you answered the incoming facetime call and was staring back at no one other than Jack Harlow.
The two of you would talk every week and you mentioned one time how you had never been off the east coast before and would love to go. Only Fans did pay well now that you had a lot of subscribers, but it hadn’t always been that way. However, you really only used the money for school and to make sure that you had a place to live. 
The semester had just ended and you weren't taking any classes during the summer so Jack offered to fly you out to L.A. to spend a week with him while he was recording new songs and you quickly said yes. 
This would happen periodically, him flying you out to different cities to meet him all summer long and soon you found yourself getting ready for the new semester to start.
You had about another year to go at Howard University in D.C. until you graduated with your degree in early childhood education while your friend Nadia was majoring in business administration.
The two of you met your freshman year and had been close ever since when you had to take a few prerequisite classes together.
She was from Louisville and was a big fan of Jack, but you didn't bother telling her what had happened between the two of you.
You signed an NDA anyway.
And since she had gone home for the summer, she had no reason for the thought to even cross her mind. 
But when you just so happened to go to your OB/GYN appointment you had gotten a huge surprise.
You were pregnant and apparently had been for three months.
Your period was irregular and you would often go for months without getting one so you thought nothing of it.
The first thing you did when you got back to your apartment was call Nadia and couldn’t help but to blurt it out.
"I'M PREGNANT!"
"Well first of all hello to you too and WHAT?!”
"I can't get pregnant! At least that's what I was told. They told me that when I was fifteen!"
"Well apparently you can. How far along are you?"
"Three months apparently and I had absolutely no idea. I wasn’t craving anything, no morning sickness, no nothing. None of the usual symptoms."
"Oh so when the semester ended, those legs were open for business, huh?"
"NADIA! BE SERIOUS PLEASE." You said while pacing around your bedroom. 
"Well, who's the father? Did you tell him?"
"Sooo, this is probably going to sound really bad." You muttered while pouring yourself something to drink.
You couldn’t see Nadia’s face, but you could just imagine how it looked. 
"I mean, how bad? You're an adult who can do what you want."
"Ummm…. He’s one of my supporters for my cam show."
"Y/N!!!! IS THAT WHY YOU WERE FLYING EVERYWHERE THIS SUMMER!? YOU WENT TO SEE HIM DIDN’T YOU? DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN?"
"Um, maybe and well, I didn’t die."
"What do you mean maybe?! It's either yes or no! And you didn’t die, but now you came back pregnant!”
"Uh, then yes."
"You need to tell him NOW. It’s his responsibility as much as it is yours."
"I will and then I'll call you back." You said while sighing. 
You didn't have enough courage to call him, but you needed to. It was better to get it over with sooner rather than later. 
You knew he was busy and decided to text him first.
You- Hey, call me when you get a chance 
Jack- I will right before I go to sleep tonight. Hopefully I can get another private show 😉
You didn't even bother responding and just waited for your phone to ring while working on assignments you had to do for class instead. 
Another thing you had to worry about now was graduating on time since you were now pregnant and would be due at the start of the last semester before you graduated. 
It was around 11:52 pm when your phone finally rang indicating an incoming facetime call from Jack.
"Hey pretty girl. I'm sorry it took me so long to call you.”
"Hey. It's okay, I was just studying while I waited.”  You quietly said and Jack was immediately eyeing you knowing that something was wrong.
"You okay?" Jack curiously asked while looking at your solemn expression.
"No, not exactly." You quietly responded while starting to fidget as you closed your textbook that was in front of you.
It was now or never.
"What's going on?"
You took a deep sigh before the words left your mouth. Might as well get it over with.
"I'm pregnant." 
Jack immediately went quiet and pinched the bridge of his nose before he said anything.
"I thought you said that you couldn't get pregnant and I always wore protection every time just in case."
"I thought so too and obviously you didn't."
"How do you know it's mine?" You immediately rolled your eyes.
"Didn't I spend basically the entire summer with you?"
"Some of it, not all of it. I don't know what you were doing when you weren't with me." Your jaw had hit the floor. He had some nerve.
"Don't do that. Why would I lie?"
"I'm being honest. Don't get mad at me for telling the truth. And why would you lie? Because I’m a millionaire the last time I checked, that’s why. Sounds like you tried to trap me." 
"Look, I just want them taken care of. AND EXCUSE ME? TRAP YOU? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?"
"I still don't see what that has to do with me and yes trap me, you heard me the first time."
"Seriously? How could you even say that? I have given you no reason to think that about me."
“Well people can surprise you, everyday. Until I get a paternity test, I'm not believing anything."
That was about three years ago and nothing has changed since then.
You were basically a single mother and Jack popped in occasionally when he wanted to. 
Which wasn't often. 
You were struggling living on your own with no support system in D.C. and Nadia had convinced you to move to Kentucky to be near her so she could help out as much as she could. Her business was finally taking off and she told you that you could find a teaching job at one of the elementary schools since they were hiring for preschool teachers.
When Jack found out that you had moved to Louisville he was not only convinced that you trapped him, but now you were stalking him too.
He had no idea that you were in this by yourself, literally. No help from family or anything.
You could count on one hand how many times Jack had seen Ace since birth and you came to the conclusion that you were probably going to be a single mother and stopped asking him for anything. The last time that he had talked to you was almost two months ago. During that three minute conversation he didn’t even ask how his son was and he only lived less than fifteen minutes away from you.
After the paternity test was done and Jack was proven to be the father, he had accidentally left the paper out on the table and no one other than his younger brother Clay found it. He had questioned Jack about it and because Clay was holding the obvious proof in his hands there was no possible way for him to back out of it. Clay then took it upon himself to reach out to you because he wanted to meet Ace. He met him when he was a month old and at that time Jack had only been to see him once. Because of how he acted, you knew early on not to put his last name on Ace’s birth certificate.  
After moving to Louisville, you met two of Nadia’s close friends, Blaire and Liv. Blaire was a baker who had her own bakery and would have breakfast waiting for you every day for you and Ace before you dropped him off at daycare and went to the school to teach while Liv taught kindergarten at the same school where you were. All four of you had become extremely close, but none of them knew who Ace’s father was. 
Because you signed an NDA, all you ever told them was that he really wasn’t a part of his life and that you were doing this all on your own and they accepted that as an explanation, but it was only a matter of time before they found out the truth. You knew that they would all look at him differently because they were such big fans of him. Plenty of times they had asked you to go to his concerts with him, but you steadily declined, but they never questioned why. 
All Jack did was send money to help with daycare and that’s when he actually remembered to do it. You got a discount since it was actually in the same school as where you taught, but it was still expensive. Especially on the salary that you got.
It was currently almost four in the afternoon and Jack was supposed to pick Ace up to spend time with him and you were hoping that they would be able to spend more time together. You knew that his career was demanding and he was at the height of it, but you just wanted Ace to have a relationship with him. He told you that he would be coming around 2 and that he would take Ace to the Louisville basketball game later with the rest of PG and spend the weekend with him. 
From what you knew, Urban was the only one who knew about Ace and was guessing that this would be his opportunity to tell them. You sighed as you looked at your baby waiting at the door with his little backpack on wanting to see the moment his dad was going to come through the door. 
After a while, he just sat down and sighed which made your heart break.
“Mommy, daddy not coming is he?” He quietly asked you and all you did was sigh.
“We just have to wait and see, bub. Maybe daddy got busy and got caught up with doing something.” One thing that you were tired of doing was making excuses for Jack.
“Does daddy love me?” He looked up at you with tears in his eyes and you quickly sat down next to him and slid him into your lap.
It took everything in you not to cry right then and there, but immediately pulled out your phone to call him.
“Of course he does. Here, baby. Let’s call him to see where he is.”
You didn’t know if you were trying to convince Ace or convince yourself.
You put the phone to Ace’s ear and Jack actually picked up on the third ring which you were surprised by.
“Hello?”
“DADDY! Where you at? Still coming to get me?”
“Oh, hey little man. Um, something came up, but I promise to get you another day.”
“But you promised you were coming today. You said that last time.”
“I know, bubs but I’ve just been so busy.”
Not wanting for the conversation to go on any further, Ace handed the phone to you with tears in his eyes, threw off his backpack and ran down the hallway into his room.
“Ace!” You called after him, but he continued down the hallway. 
“Are you…..? Are you serious right now?! You made him cry because all you do is fucking lie to him and to me!” You took a deep breath before letting him have it. 
“Y/N, please don’t fucking start.” You heard him say before sighing and you could hear cheering going on in the background indicating that he was already at the game.
“Oh, I’m going to fucking start because he has been excited for this all week! Why would you bail on your son like that? You did the same shit last time. You begged me to come and see him and when I told you what time would work best, what did you do? Not even bother to show up. Either you want to be in his life or you don’t and you need to make a decision. Tired of my child constantly being disappointed in his father.”
“Look, I’ll talk to you later.” Jack said and then hung up without another word leaving you fuming from your conversation. 
You simply got up while grabbing Ace’s backpack and made your way to his room. Once you opened the door, you found him laying down with his head resting on his hands just staring off into space.
“Ace….”
“Mommy, can we just go to the park?” He asked not even mentioning what Jack had done.
“Sure, baby. Whatever you want. I also think that it’s a perfect day for ice cream. What do you say?”
At the mention of ice cream, Ace immediately perked up and eagerly nodded his head.
“Can I get chocolate chip cookie dough?”
“Whatever my Ace wants, he gets.”
Upon hearing this, he immediately smiled and you were happy that you could take his mind off of what his father had promised him, at least for a little while. 
Two weeks had passed and you were rushing to get both of you out of the door and to Blaire’s bakery for breakfast so that the two of you would at least have something on your stomach for the busy day ahead.
You had sent a text last night to Jack asking him to send you money for daycare for the month of October, but he never responded leaving you frustrated because you literally now only had 24 hours to come up with the money otherwise you weren’t quite sure what you were going to do.
Your Only Fans was still active, but that was a last resort.
While driving to the bakery, Ace fell asleep in the backseat when you decided to call him.
“Yes, Y/N? What now? I’m busy.”
“Good morning to you too. Did you get my text last night?” You asked after rolling your eyes at how he greeted you.
“Didn’t I just give you money for daycare? Why do you need more already?”
“You see, Jackman….”
“Don’t call me that.”
“That’s your name isn’t it? Given to you by your parents?”
“Look, what do you want? I’m in the studio.”
“No need to be rude. I need more money for daycare. I have to pay it every month.”
“Why the fuck is it so expensive? Got damn a round trip to L.A. is cheaper.”
“I don’t know, but I already get a discount and I have to pay it by tomorrow so can you just send it to me?”
“1600 dollars?!? That’s the discounted price? You have got to be fucking kidding me. They act like you have six fucking kids. He’s one person.”
“Just… can you do it or not? I wouldn't ask you unless I absolutely had to.” You asked, hating that you even had to do so.
“Yeah, I’ll send it and you better be using it for daycare and not something else. Because if I find out you did, you better not ask me for it again. Anything else you want to bother me about?”
“Ace is in the car. Do you want to say good morning to him?”
“Not really. I’ll call him later. Bye.”
“I-....”
Jack hung up without another word and all you did was shake your head at him and how your three year old is more well mannered than he is.
Once you pulled up to the bakery, Blaire met you outside on the curb and immediately ran to your window with a bag of food as well as two drinks. A hot chocolate for Ace and her specially made coffee for you. You swore that she put jet fuel in it and as many times as you asked her for the recipe, she never told you. 
It literally allowed for you to stay energized throughout the day and didn't even want to know how much caffeine was in it.
She handed you yours, while she opened Ace’s door and handed him his.
“Thank you, Auntie Blaire.” He quietly said before taking it and you looked back at him to see that he was pouting and Blaire immediately asked him what was wrong before you could.
“Daddy didn’t say good morning to me when he talked to mommy.”
Oh.
So he was awake.
“I’m just sure he was really busy. You can try calling him later once you get home, yeah?” She said to try and get a smile at him, but all he did was nod his head.
So much for getting a good start to the day.
Ace had been upset the entire time he was in daycare even when you went to go and check on him and brought a cookie as a peace offering which he wasn't excited by and thought that making his latest favorite dinner might take his mind off of it. 
You never in a million years thought that Ace would love to help you cook, but here you were. He told you that he wanted to be a chef when he grew up, so you obviously set him up with everything that he might need.
He told you on the way home that he wanted to make chicken parm with noodles so you stopped by the store to grab the ingredients.
Ace was wearing his apron that you had gotten him as a gift for his birthday which said Chef Ace on it and standing on his step stool to add salt to the boiling water for the noodles while you were finishing cutting up the chicken and about to start making the breading for it.
He didn't bring up for the rest of the day what had happened with Jack earlier, but you had a feeling that it was coming and more than likely it would be around bedtime. But for now, you were simply going to focus on spending time with your little one.
“Ace, do you want to grab the Italian seasoning for mommy to use?”
“Yes!”
He promptly moved his step stool to be in front of the spice cabinet and climbed up when there was a knock on the door.
Ace had handed it to you and stepped down before going to get a sip of juice out of his sippy cup.
“Be right back, bubs. Remember don't touch anything without mommy being in here with you. We don't need you getting hurt.”
“Okay, promise.” He quickly answered before taking another swig of his juice as you went to answer the door to come face to face with Nadia,  Blaire, and Liv.
“Heyyy. Blaire told us baby daddy troubles this morning sooooo…. We brought wine and lemon cake that Blaire made for Ace.” Nadia said as she held up the wine and Liv held up the cake and all three of them were smiling back at you.
“You guys didn't….”
“Shut up and let us in. Yes we did and what is our little chef making tonight?” Liv asked as you moved to the side and let them in while closing the door behind you.
“Chicken parm and salad and Blaire’s cake can be added to that now.”
“HI AUNTIES!” You heard Ace as he ran full speed towards the four of you.
“Auntie’s baby!” Nadia exclaimed as she opened her arms to engulf him into a hug.
“Food should be about done in another thirty minutes.”
“Well until then, we have the wine to keep us occupied.”
After gushing over how good the meal was along with Blaire’s lemon cake, Nadia pulled out her phone and shoved it towards you.
“What am I looking at?” You asked her as Ace had climbed into your lap.
“Jack Harlow and his No Place Like Home concert. I thought I would get tickets for all of us to go.”
Ace then peered at her phone and got a confused look on his face.
“Oh, that's daddy!”
Silence.
Looks of shock.
Looks of disbelief.
Nadia, Liv, and Blaire knew how intelligent Ace was so they didn't think that this would be something that he would lie about all while trying to wrap their heads around it.
When no one said anything, Ace turned to look at you.
“Are we going to call him before I go to sleep?”
“Um, sure bubs. We’ll call him. Do you want to go and pick out a book for us to read tonight before we do?”
He eagerly nodded before hopping down off your lap and heading to his bookshelf in his bedroom.
All you did was sigh and wait for the interrogation to begin.
Nadia was first.
“Y/N!!!!! I…. WHAT!?”
“Do not say anything because the last thing I need is him finding out that other people know.”
“He is a literal ASSHOLE to you and Ace. The mother of his son and his actual son. All the shit that you’ve told us he’s done!?! Or hasn't done for that matter.” Liv exclaimed as she poured herself another glass of wine.
“So that's who was flying you out that summer?”
You simply nodded.
“Y/N…..”
“Look, I don't need the looks of pity. I’m fine, my son is fine and that's all that matters. We’re going to be okay with or without him.”
Blaire who had been quiet the entire time simply shook her head.
“I can always call my brothers to jump him.”
“NO, BLAIRE!”
“The offer still stands. Just say the word.” She replied while shrugging.
“I know how you three love his music so get the tickets and have fun. Me and Ace will be okay.”
“No. One band, one sound bitch. If you have beef with Jack Harlow, so do we.” Nadia said while crossing her arms. 
“Come to think of it… Ace does look an awful lot like him.”
“All I can do every day when we go out is pray that no one notices. I have to protect him and it’s sad that I actually have to do it from his father.”
It was around 7 PM when you had finished giving Ace a bath and had finished reading the book that he picked out earlier to him when he asked to call Jack.
“Can we call daddy now?” He asked looking up at you hopeful and all you did was give him a small smile.
“Of course we can.”
You grabbed your phone and attempted to call Jack on facetime while handing it to Ace.
All it did was continuously ring and you saw the pout on Ace’s face become more pronounced.
“Maybe, he’s just busy, bubs.” You quietly said before you took your phone back and the look of disappointment across his face broke your heart.
“He’s always busy, mommy.”
“But, at least you get to spend the day with him tomorrow! That’s something to be excited about. Do you have any idea about what you want to do?”
Jack had begged you to come and get him tomorrow to make up for not taking him to the basketball game with him and as much as you felt that he was going to go back on his word, but you were willing to give him another chance. But the chances were slowly running out.
“No, I’m just sleepy.”
“Okay, let’s get tucked in so we can sleep.”
Once you had gotten Ace settled, you went into your room and logged onto your banking app to see that Jack in fact did send you the money to pay for daycare and you let out a sigh of relief that you didn’t realize that you had been holding. 
Ten minutes later, you got a text from him.
Jack- I’ll come and get him tomorrow. Be there around nine. 
Hopefully this was a way for him to redeem himself for not showing up the other day and prayed that he would follow through. 
You were tired of seeing your child disappointed. 
The next morning after getting Ace ready, Clay came to get him and you would say that you were surprised that it wasn’t Jack, but that would be a lie. Ace was still excited to see Clay, so the last thing you wanted to do was upset him. You got to have a full day to yourself which you hadn’t had in a while.
Your time was spent going to the mall, seeing a movie, and even going to your favorite restaurant by yourself.
You made sure to soak this all in because you didn’t know the next time that you would be able to get another opportunity to do this and spend your time and money on yourself.
It was around 5 PM when Clay dropped off Ace who you could tell was still on a sugar high since he was running around the apartment and not able to keep still for three minutes when you got on the topic of Clay’s brother since you knew that it was inevitable. 
"Clay, I have given him chance after chance to do right by him and he literally disappoints me and him every time." 
"I know and I'm…."
"No. Do not apologize for him. If he could have just seen his face when he promised to come and get him to go to the game with all of you and to have a cooking date and he didn't show. Like my baby was bawling with tears running down his face and asked me does daddy even love me? Clay my heart can't take too much more of this. This has been going on for way longer than it should have. My son is my entire world and he deserves a father in his life that wants to be consistent and be there for him. I don't think Jack will ever get there." 
"So I guess I shouldn't tell you that he still hasn't told our parents about you or Ace?" Clay asked while scratching the back of his neck.
You then looked at Clay in disbelief as Ace came up on your left side and lifted his hands up to indicate he wanted to be picked up by you or his uncle and Clay quickly did. 
"Your brother is just full of surprises isn't he? You're more of a father to him than he is."
"Reality hasn't hit him yet."
"It doesn't take three years. It's just crazy how you were the only one who welcomed him with open arms, but then again you had already saw the DNA results so you had no choice but to believe me. I guess Jack never thought in his wildest dreams he would sleep with a cam girl and end up with a kid."
Just then your phone went off indicating a text from the man of the hour.
Jack- Y/N, I know you're mad at me but I promise to get him next time.
You- Don't even worry about it. Once again your little brother is stepping up and doing what you should have done. So much that he actually called him dad the other day. Think about that.
You saw Jack would start texting and then stop indicating that he didn't have a good comeback for that one.
How could he?
It had been a quick slip up a few weeks ago by Ace, but Clay simply brushed it off and thought nothing of it. You remembered him saying to Ace, ‘Well we do look alike, don’t we?’ And he quickly agreed.
And just then your phone went off indicating Jack was calling you.
"What?" You asked as you rolled your eyes.
"I'll be outside in 20 minutes and I want to see my son."
Once you hung up, Clay turned to you and asked you what he said.
“He said that he wants to see him, but my thing is that if you really did want to see him then you would have gotten him earlier. The last thing he better do when he comes in here is make a scene.”
Twenty minutes didn’t even pass before you heard knocking on the front door and you immediately rolled your eyes before getting up to answer it.
Once you did, Jack was clearly annoyed and was looking right past you to see where Ace was.
“Where’s my son?”
“Oh, so now he’s your son? Are there certain days of the week that you claim him or?”
“Y/N, I’m not doing this with you right now, where is Ace?”
“He’s with your brother in the kitchen if you must know and you better not go in there and make him upset.”
“Now, why would I make him upset?”
“I don’t know, you tell me. Since all he knows you’re good for is disappointing him.”
Jack didn’t even bother to respond as he walked past you to come face to face with Clay playing with Ace.
Once Ace saw him, he quickly ran to hide behind Clay.
“Bubs, it’s me, daddy. No reason to be scared.”
All Ace did was peek out behind Clay’s leg who was trying to also tell him that it was okay.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t come and get you today, but I promise that I will next time.”
This led to Ace shaking his head no and holding onto Clay’s leg tighter.
“Ace, what’s the matter?” Jack asked seeing as Ace had never acted this way towards him before.
“Daddy, you forgot about me….. Again.”
“I… I didn’t forget. Daddy’s just been really busy, but I’m here now.”
“Maybe if you actually showed up when you were supposed to this wouldn’t be happening.” Clay snapped at Jack as Ace quickly ran to you and you picked him up as he hid in the crook of your neck.
“Clay, I already get it enough from Y/N, I don’t need to hear it from you too.”
“Well obviously you do, because hearing it from one person obviously isn’t enough! Now, why is your kid calling me daddy? Oh, right. Because his real dad actually ignores him.” Clay said while raising his voice at his older brother.
“I DON’T IGNORE MY SON!”
“WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU ACTUALLY SPENT TIME WITH HIM? I’VE SEEN HIM MORE TIMES SINCE HE’S BEEN ALIVE THAN YOU HAVE!”
At their heated exchange, Ace began to cry and you knew that you needed to put a stop to this immediately.
“Okay, you two, we’re done. Jack, get out.”
“If I leave, I’m taking Ace with me.”
“You are not taking MY son anywhere. Can’t you see how upset you made him? And I told you once you step foot in here not to upset him and you did the exact opposite. Just leave. You've done enough.”
Jack had let out a frustrated sigh as he was contemplating his next move. He stepped towards you, but was immediately blocked by Clay stepping in front of you.
“Just do what she asked you to do and leave.”
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bucca2 · 7 months
Text
Shrike pt. 1 - words hung above but never would form
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definition. male shrikes are known for their habit of catching insects and small vertebrates and impaling them on thorns
König x high school sweetheart reader
2nd person, gender neutral reader for now but reader is afab and referred to as a girl, reader is Austrian/has lived in Austria and speaks German for most of the story, romance, pining, friends to lovers, reader's nickname is Thorn, König's first name is Alexander
4.8k words
tw: bullying, brief mention of cheating and domestic abuse (not explicit, mentions of violence, and not done by König), mention of terrorism, suicidal thoughts
[NEXT]
based on this post by @ceilidho, who gave me permission to write this! many thanks <3
this post is dedicated to @papaver-decervicatus, who I am so proud of for finishing chapter 4 of her fic cat/mouse/den (which I highly recommend) and eating NO glass in the process. her headcanons for König have had a huge influence on me, and while there are some differences between julius and alexander, I absolutely must thank Caedis for her wonderful portrayal of König.
and of course, to @danibee33, for fueling my König brainrot. without you, I probably would not have returned to writing <33
disclaimer, I am not Austrian, I do not speak German, so if there's anything that needs correcting, please do reach out!
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You admit, you’ve always had an affinity for protecting the weak.
When you were twelve, a bird slammed headlong into your bedroom window. The poor thing had avoided snapping its own neck but was certainly in no condition to fly. You’d bolted out of your childhood home to check on it, but by the time you arrived, a huge grey tomcat was prowling, sitting back on his haunches and ready to pounce. You generally liked cats, but this one was a mean old stray, and you’d always been frightened to go near him.
Without hesitation, you had shoved the cat aside, spitting and yowling, and taken the little bird into your hands.
It took a few days to nurse back to health, and you still remember the day you released it back into nature. It was worth the long scratch down your arm, pride swelling in your heart as it spread its wings and flew into a vivid blue sky. You remember it even now: a charming little gray bird, a streak of black coloring over its eyes. A shrike, your mother had identified it as.
People are no different than animals, sometimes. People can be cornered, battered, and bruised as well. You recognize the broken hunch of the bird you rescued in the boy sitting by himself at lunch time. His shoulders curl inwards with a desperate need to go unnoticed. You’ve seen him around: he’s not in any of your classes, but your classes always seem to end up in the same hallways, so you pass each other all the time.
He jumps a little as you slide into the seat next to him, shrinking away from you in a way that breaks your heart. “Hey.”
No response. You offer your name, but he seems reluctant to divulge his own.
“Is it okay if I sit here?”
He shrugs.
“Thanks. I don’t know anybody at this school, so it’s nice to have a friend.”
“…friend?” He has a nice voice, you think. Timid, but almost sweet.
“Well, if you’ll let me call you one.”
“…”
And so begins your friendship with König.
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I was housed by your warmth Thus transformed By your grounded and giving And darkening scorn
You didn’t call him that in high school, of course. You wouldn’t know that name until much, much later. It takes a while to coax him out of his shell, cajoling him that you can’t call him “green-eyed boy” forever, to get his name.
“Alexander is a very good name,” you assure him, and he seems pleased. He’s still hesitant to speak to you at all, but that’s just fine by you. You’ve got plenty to talk about, anyway.
“You know, I read this book about Alexander the Great. There’s this crazy story about one of his battles at a city called Tyre. He was laying siege to it after a misunderstanding with their king…” you chatter on, unaware of the intense stare from the boy sitting next to you.
“…ordinarily, sieging an island is pretty difficult, but you won’t believe what he did,” you rattle on. “He—”
“He built his own bridge,” Alexander says, so quietly you almost don’t hear him at first. You look at him in surprise.
“Yes! You know this story already?”
“I read a lot about him.”
“Then why did you let me ramble on about it if you knew about it already?” You’re a little embarrassed, having felt proud of yourself for knowing niche facts about historical figures.
“I like listening to you talk.”
That shuts you up for a moment. Only for a moment though, before you start to laugh.
“What?” he asks, an edge creeping into his voice.
“Nothing! It’s just—usually people tell me the opposite,” you say. “People say I talk too much.”
“I don’t mind.” His eyes dart to your face before looking away again.
“That’s good to hear. But I hope you know this means you’re never getting rid of me now,” you tease, nudging him gently.
He doesn’t respond, but for a second, you could have sworn that a corner of his mouth had turned up into a smile.
Learning more about him is like trying to draw blood from a stone, but you do your best. He mentions sharing a room with a cousin. His oma makes the best comfort food. Sometimes his mother takes him into town to buy candy, but he has to hide it or his cousin will steal it. Not that he cares that much—he doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but his family doesn’t come from means, so it means a lot to him whenever his mother spares a few pennies to buy him a frivolity.
It's what he doesn’t say that tells you the most about him. The way he fidgets with his clothes when he’s nervous. The brief panic that shoots through him whenever you call his name before he relaxes when he realizes it’s just you. The way he shies away from people in the hallways, just to avoid any contact whatsoever.
The fact that he never talks about his father.
The way he curls into himself when he’s being bullied.
“You should be apologizing to me for being in my way right about now, freak,” Andreas taunts him. He’s knocked Alexander’s books to the ground, like some sort of cartoon caricature of a bully, and you’re fed up.
“Hey!” Without missing a beat, you slide yourself between Alexander and Andreas. You’ve recently hit a bit of a growth spurt, so you note with a bit of smugness that you’re at least an inch or two taller than Andreas. You’re also quite a bit taller than Alexander, you realize. The two of you are usually sitting when you talk, so you’ve never really noticed.
“Leave him alone!” You stand your ground even as Andreas fixes you with a withering glare.
“Ah, so you’re gonna let your big strong girlfriend fight your fights now, is that it?” Andreas sneers. Alexander stiffens behind you, and you decide right then and there that you’ve had enough of this nonsense.
“You’re the last person who should be bringing up girlfriends, Andreas,” you say, staring him down with a look that you hope is sufficiently intimidating. “Everybody knows Yulia broke up with you because you can’t get it up.” You don’t know Yulia. You don’t give enough of a shit about Andreas to follow the gossip about him. But by the way his cheeks get ruddy, you know you’ve struck a nerve. The handful of spectators your little confrontation has attracted snicker.
“You little bitch,” he snarls. You hear the gasp of the students surrounding you before you feel it. You put a hand to your rapidly reddening cheek.
The little twerp had slapped you.
“That’s what you get for getting in my way,” he says, with a smug little look that you want to wipe off his face.
You’re not a violent person. And honestly, you could have been expelled for what happens next. But you cast a quick glimpse behind you at Alexander on the ground, and something about the look in his eyes reminds you of that bird you rescued, and a quick and hot anger rises in you.
You punch Andreas.
With no wind-up, no warning, you break his nose, and he drops like a rock, howling and clutching at the blood pouring from his nostrils. A sick little giggle comes out of you as you watch, drowned out by the uproar of your little audience.
“What on earth is going on here?!” You hear a teacher roar, and the crowd quickly begins to scatter. Without hesitation, you pull Alexander up and escape before you can be subjected to the consequences of your actions.
“Boy, am I glad he didn’t put up more of a fight,” you say gleefully, high on adrenaline. “That could have gotten quite ugly.”
“I didn’t know you had that in you,” Alexander says when the two of you have gotten far away enough. The way he looks at you now is a little different—almost reverent.
“I didn’t know either!” you say. “I’ve never done that before!”
“Who knew such a pretty rose had such sharp thorns?” he mumbles to himself. Your eyes zip to him, and even he looks surprised at the words coming out of his mouth.
“A pretty rose?” you tease, nudging him on the arm. He flushes pink and turns away, but there’s a bit of a lopsided half-smile on his lips.
You’re not sure why, but the sight of it makes your skin tingle.
The first few years of high school are relatively uneventful outside of skirmishes with Alexander’s various tormentors. Your biggest regret is that you can’t always be there for him—sometimes you have to spend your free periods catching up on readings or speaking with teachers. But you’re always there for him afterwards, poison in your voice as you hatch plans to make his bullies’ lives miserable. The plans never go anywhere, but thinking about retribution always seems to make him perk up a little. And really, that’s all that matters to you.
It's silly, how long it took you to realize how much of a fixture he was in your life. There’s a street corner a few blocks from the school you always meet him at so the two of you can walk the rest of the way together. The few times you share classes, you’re always sitting together, exchanging notes and quietly judging your classmates together. And you always, always sit with him during lunch. Even when you start making other friends who surely would welcome you at their tables, you always return to the quiet green-eyed boy in the corner.
You tell yourself it’s because he’s lonely, and he needs the company. You tell yourself the rumors about the two of you are silly, the result of bored hormonal teenagers who can’t fathom being a genuine friend to someone of the opposite sex. You tell yourself it means nothing that your face feels warm whenever he smiles at you.
You never get the chance to figure out if it does mean anything. He gives you the bad news on the last day of classes before summer break.
“I…I see,” you say, trying to swallow past the lump in your throat. For once, you’re at a loss of what to say. His fingers twist around each other in his lap, the way they only do when he’s really anxious.
“Well, a fresh start is good, right?” You offer him a smile, but your heart’s not in it. Maybe you haven’t spent as much time with him as you used to back in first year—you’ve started to take more advanced classes, and you’ve been so swamped with homework and projects that sometimes hanging out with Alexander is put on the back burner. But you’d always taken comfort in knowing that he would always be there at mealtime. A steady presence in your life, as everything around you seems to be speeding towards a future you’re not quite ready for yet.
Now he’s leaving. You’d like to think your concern is for him—what’s to say his new school won’t also be rife with harassment? Will he be able to make new friends? Or will he be all alone at the lunch table again? But really, who are you trying to fool? The sudden heaviness in your chest is selfish. What are you going to do without him?
The roaring in your head stills as you feel his hand cover yours. You stare at it dumbly, unable to lift your head and look him in the eyes. Your gut feels like it’s flipping and twisting all over itself.
You lift your eyes to his. For one breathless, indescribable moment, you think he’s going to kiss you. You’re sure he’s going to kiss you. You lean closer to him, and you can feel his breath on your lips.
Your eyes slide shut.
A shout startles your eyes back open, and he jolts away from you. It’s your mother, calling that she’s here to pick you up. You let out a frustrated noise as you call back to her that you’re coming before turning back to him.
The moment is long gone, and your heart twinges with regret as he avoids meeting your gaze. “You’ll write to me, won’t you?” you say softly. “And we can still see each other?”
“Of course I will, rosethorn,” he says, with that shy little smile you love so much.
You don’t see him for another ten years.
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I couldn't utter my love when it counted I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now
It’s ironic, really. Saving birds. Saving boys. But the one person you can’t save is yourself.
Your life post-König is like the drop on a roller coaster, but with none of the thrill. High school flies by in a flurry of deadlines and mental breakdowns. It’s worth it when you get into a good university—at least, you thought so. In reality, there’s no work in Austria for someone with your degree. Your parents are older, well on their way towards retirement, so you find yourself unwilling to burden them. You’re lost, stuck, and so very alone.
And then you meet him.
Tall, handsome, a little older, with a blossoming career. In hindsight, how much of a perfect package he presented himself as was the earliest red flag. But when you’re young and behind on rent, anything better than that feels like a miracle.
You know better, really. You knew it the whole time. Getting married after knowing each other for 2 months isn’t as bad as it could be, but it’s still too quick for your comfort. But the eviction notice was on your door, and he was a perfect gentleman. What could go wrong, right?
Everything. He at least has the decency to keep up the façade for another month, but that’s the only credit you’ll ever give the man you’ve shackled yourself to. It becomes increasingly obvious that he only married you to have a live-in maid while he philanders around as he pleases. You try, oh god do you try, for five long, fruitless years. God, it’s so silly when you think about it. You liked him so much, it took you so long to realize he had never liked you in the first place. He’d scooped up the first desperate college grad he’d found, and thinking about it makes you want to hide from everyone you know.
Which you do: hiding from what few friends you do have, hiding from your parents, hiding from the part of your brain that screams that you’re wasting the best years of your life cleaning up after a grown man who won’t even touch you, much less fuck you. Your 20s are for drinking, one-night stands, and figuring out what the fuck the rest of your life is going to look like. There is plenty of drinking, but the rest of it, not so much.
You’re going to divorce him, you tell yourself in year six. Once you get a job, you’re out. But you’re no fresh grad anymore, and the 6-year gap in your resume isn’t helping matters. You spot a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel when he tells you you’re moving: his company is offering him a higher paid position, and it’s in a bustling downtown area. Plenty of opportunity for you, right?
That’s when he starts hitting you.
You’re away from your parents, your friends, your home. You took English classes, but that won’t exactly help you in this equally European foreign country whose language you don’t speak. Now that you’re approaching your 30s, your husband seems to be rapidly realizing that his youth is also disappearing. His new job is more stressful, and most days he has no outlet for it other than taking it out on you.
Now you long for the days when he didn’t come home until you’d already fallen asleep.
And then the terror attacks begin, and your once-bustling city shuts down. More isolation. Even less hope. You stay at home all day, torn between hoping someone will get rid of your husband for you and the abject terror of being left all alone in a foreign country torn apart by violent partisans.
That’s when the despair really sets in: you’ve wasted over a decade in this awful, dead-end relationship. Sure, you’ve got a roof over your head and food in your stomach: you should feel grateful. But you don’t.
You start hoping the attacks will take you out instead.
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I fled to the city with so much discounted Ah, but I'm flying like a bird to you now Back to the hedgerows where bodies are mounted
“There are mercenaries in town.”
You look up from your breakfast, lost in thought thinking about all the errands you have to run today. “Yeah?”
“About time we stopped relying on our corrupt fucking military,” he grumbles. “Maybe they’ll end this goddamn conflict once and for all.”
You don’t have much to say about that. What does it matter to you, anyway? The only conflict that matters to you lives at home, and you stopped trying to fight it a long time ago.
“The curfew’s a pain in the ass, though. You behave yourself, you hear me?” His sharp glare reminds you that he’s not saying this out of a concern for your safety: if you make trouble for him, you’ll pay for it later. You nod mutely.
Your morning goes by relatively uneventfully. You do the dishes, stare at the wall, sigh, stare at the wall some more. As much of a prison as this apartment is, you like it decently well when he’s not in it. Going outside and seeing the ravages of war all around you is anxiety-inducing. But you can’t put off buying groceries anymore.
The arrival of the mercenaries makes itself immediately apparent. The streets are somehow even emptier, and what people there are on the streets move quickly and cast suspicious glances at everyone else.
You were hoping not to interact with anybody, but your hopes are dashed when you see a checkpoint ahead, manned by soldiers in unfamiliar uniforms. Although most of them are wearing different gear, they still look more orderly and well-kept than the country’s own military. Murder must pay well.
You look around nervously, but there’s no alternate route here, and nobody local going through with you. You strongly consider going home, but you’d just have to do this all over again tomorrow.
You steel yourself with a deep breath.
“Identification?”
You show the mercenary your ID with trembling fingers, gripping your bag tightly and praying he doesn’t find your nervousness suspicious.
“Where are you headed?”
“Just—just down the street,” you say, wincing at your heavy German accent. Years upon years of living here and you still sound like a foreigner. “Getting food.” You’re so anxious you forget the word for “groceries” for a moment. You only know enough of the local language to get by, and you’re sure you must sound like a kindergartener.
The soldier raises an eyebrow at you. “You are German?”
“I…Austrian,” you answer hesitantly. Oh God, you hope there’s no issue with that. You’re not so much afraid of being detained as you are of getting home too late to make dinner.
“Interesting.” The soldier hands back your ID. “Our commander is Austrian, as well.”
You perk up a little bit at that. You’ve met a handful of German-speakers here, but not a single one of your countrymen.
Well. Aside from the one who came here with you.
“He should actually be arriving here any moment now. Big guy in a hood. You can’t miss him. They call him König.” As if on cue, a military grade vehicle pulls up to the checkpoint, military personnel stepping out. And then…
Your blood runs cold.
Nothing, nothing could have prepared you for the sight of the beast that steps out of the car. Even from a short distance, you can tell he’s a colossal size. Two metres tall, easily, wearing a dark hood that reminds you of a medieval executioner. And as if that weren’t intimidating enough, two red trails, like bloody tears, are bleached under his eyes. His eyes, which must have some sort of black paint around them, giving him the impression of being two eyes staring out at you from the pitch blackness of the hood.
Two piercing green eyes.
Trained directly on your face.
Staring in disbelief.
“I…need to return home. I’ve forgotten something.” All worries about appearing suspicious fly out the window as the enormous man in the hood hesitates for a moment before making his way towards you with alarming speed.
You all but fly back down the street, making a beeline for your building. Just a few moments ago, you were excited to meet the man. Now, the image of his eyes staring into yours fills you with a fear you can’t describe.
The next day you take a long detour to avoid the checkpoint. It’ll take you twice as long to get home this time, but it’s worth it. You can’t put the shopping off another day: the brand-new bruise on your arm throbs as a reminder. And you certainly don’t want to run into the hooded soldier again.
You get your shopping done without much fanfare. The old lady cashier, who usually looks at you from over her glasses with the stern look you’ve seen a lot of people around here level at foreigners, even pressed a piece of candy from behind the register into your hand. You’re pretty sure it’s just because she wanted to get rid of it, but it does wonders for your mood.
You’re busy plotting when to enjoy your little treat when you turn a corner and freeze.
He’s here. He’s there, standing in an alleyway near your building. Somehow even larger than you remember him yesterday, still wearing that awful hood.
Does he know where you live? You curse yourself for running straight home yesterday. He must have seen the direction you went in—or did he follow you? You attempt to quietly retreat and take another route home, but your shoe scuffs a paving stone. And like a hawk spotting its prey, his head darts towards you.
You book it.
“Wait!” calls a deep voice. Tears spring to your eyes as you hear heavy footsteps pursuing you. What have you done to deserve this? You’re no criminal. Your only crime is being a naïve dumbass in your twenties.
Your arm burns as you turn corner after corner, not bothering to take note of where you’re going. It’s no use, though: you can hear him gaining on you. Fuck, is this it? You can’t even fathom what he wants you for, and you don’t want to think about it either—
“Rosethorn!” You come to a screeching halt.
There’s only one person who has ever called you that.
You turn around, chest heaving with exertion, as the hooded soldier—König, the soldier said his name was—comes into view, approaching you slowly.
“It’s me,” he says, holding his hands out like he’s approaching a wounded animal. You’re not really sure what the point is, considering the gigantic knife he’s got strapped to his thigh is intimidating all on its own, but somehow it still puts you at ease.
“Alex...?” you whisper, hardly daring to believe it.
“Yes,” he says. His posture has changed from when you saw him at the checkpoint. He’s hunching over, trying to make himself smaller. It reminds you of that first day when you sat next to him at lunch.
It’s him.
You instantly drop all your bags and cling to him in a hug, tears spilling from your eyes. He’s so different: most obviously, he's so tall. He must have hit some growth spurt after he moved away, because he towers over you now. You can feel under all the gear that he’s put on serious muscle—not surprising for a soldier, of course. And when his arms fold themselves over you, you’re filled with a sense of safety you haven’t felt in a long time.
“What are you doing here?” you both ask at the same time. A giggle bubbles out of you as you watch his eyes crinkle in an obvious smile. God, his eyes are so green.
“I’m stationed here because of the conflict,” he says. “But what are you doing here? I contacted your parents, and they said you had moved here, but they didn’t say why.”
You’re not surprised. You’re still in contact with your parents, but you don’t talk about the elephant in your home. You know they would have helped you, if only you had asked for it, but you never have.
“I…it’s complicated,” you say, withdrawing from the hug. You stare at the ground, brushing away the wetness in your eyes.
“I have nothing urgent right now,” he says, staring at you intently.
You swallow past the lump in your throat. “I…got married,” you whisper.
Instantly, his body language changes, stiffening in shock. He takes a half-step away from you, which makes you want to cry all over again. This is awful. This is humiliating. You wish you could go back in time and shake some sense into yourself.
“I see,” he says in a strangled voice. “Congratulations.”
Despite your best efforts, the tears spill over again. “No, not congratulations,” you say. “It—”
It was the worst mistake of your life, you want to say, but you just can’t get the words out. He must notice you beginning to quake with fear, because he raises a hand to touch you gently on the arm—right on the bruise.
His stare hardens as he watches you flinch. “Rosethorn, what’s the matter?”
Everything, you want to say. I’m standing in an alleyway with my childhood crush, shaking like a leaf because a monster lives in my house, and I can’t get away from him.
With a feather-like touch surprising for a man with such large hands—he grew so much— he goes to push up your sleeve. You catch a glimpse of the bruise before you have to turn away again, shuddering. It’s ugly: black and green, and very clearly shaped like a human grip.
“I…bumped into a shelf,” you say lamely. You can’t bring yourself to rope him into your troubles. He’s a soldier now, for Pete’s sake. He has bigger problems.
You can’t read his expression due to the hood—but there’s a blazing anger in his eyes you remember all too well. The quiet fury you often saw in him so many years ago.
He must see in your expression that you don’t want to be questioned about it right now, and thankfully, he relents. With an ease in his movement that must stem from some newfound confidence, he reaches over and picks up your bags for you. “Let me carry these for you.”
It’s nice, to be taken care of for once.
Your mad dash took both of you quite far away from your building, so you have enough time for quite a nice little chat. You tell him about your time in university, he tells you what happened to him after he moved away. He’d jumped at the chance to enlist as soon as he turned 17, on the recommendation of an uncle who had spent time in the military. You laugh when he tells you that they wouldn’t let him be a sniper, a pout in his tone. You could have imagined him as a sniper back in high school, but he’s so large now it’s impossible not to notice him.
“The discipline was good for me,” he recounts. “I needed to grow a spine.”
“Don’t say that. You were just trying to get by in school, like everybody else.”
He shrugs. “I wanted to be like you.”
“Like me?” You ask incredulously.
“My rose with thorns,” he says, with a fondness that makes you blush. “Do you remember that day you punched that punk Andreas?”
“How could I forget? My fist hurt for days,” you say with a grin. “But I didn’t regret it for a second.”
He looks down at you—that’s new—with pride in his eyes. “I thought about you that day all throughout training,” he says. “You were my guardian angel.”
Your cheeks grow even warmer, and you feel like a teenager again. How can he still make you feel this way so easily after all this time? “He had a punchable face,” you say dismissively. “If not me, then it would have been someone else.”
You’re almost disappointed to arrive home. Only yesterday, home was your sanctuary. Now, it means being separated from the one person you trust fully in this country. You turn to him, almost bashful. “This is where I live."
He sets the bags down like they’re made of fine china, and he’s standing so close you almost stop breathing. The air is charged, the same way it felt that night when you almost kissed. You watch him as he watches you.
“Can I see you again?” he asks, breaking the silence.
“Of course,” you say, and the sparkle in his eye dazzles you.
You watch him leave until you can’t see him anymore. And for once, you enter your home with a light heart.
Remember me, love When I'm reborn As the shrike to your sharp And glorious thorn
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if you'd like to be added to the taglist, just drop a reply! feedback is always appreciated, and my inbox is open, so please feel free to drop me an ask! I will 100% write little scenarios/headcanons about this couple because I have so many thoughts and ideas for them lol
I anticipate about 2-3 parts for this, maybe with König pov in the next part? he doesn't come across this way in this part, because it's from Thorn's perspective, but he is a very nasty boy indeed. also, I know putting lyrics in the middle of a fic is so passé, but I can't help myself. it's hozier! indulge me. also this isn't beta read so I really hope it doesn't suck
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appleblueberry-pie · 2 months
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Ok, seriously I am LOVING your yandere miles fics. They are just too good! Keep them coming! Actually, mind if I request something? How about yandere miles fic that is between the "Come back home to me" fic and your latest fic of miles crushing on us. Like what happened or how did it happen for us to be in a relationship with miles? you're the best!
I would say it would start with linked circumstances. What I mean is taking the same one or two classes together. Passing each other in the hallways often. Because I don't see Miles as the type to go completely out of his way to make the first move. If you two didn't have any relations at all, he would make himself known through small acts. "Coincidentally" going to the same cafe that you like at the same time every Thursday. And he'd let you make the first move in talking to him, and he'd take the reigns to keep the new relationship moving forward from there. But back to the school idea, I mainly think it would be you two sharing a class together, you and him having to do a project in a pair.
You two would talk up ideas and get to know each other a little more. What's your phone number so I can stay in touch? Do you wanna work on this together sometime outside of school? Wanna meet up at a restaurant? My house is cool. All of these little questions are things Miles would for sure keep in mind when that time comes. Little by little, he would find out your little quirks, what keeps the conversation pushing and what makes it come to an awkward stop.
He'll ramble on about the project, watch you get bored, and invite you to put your two cents in. Listens carefully and sees how his engagement in the conversation affects your mood. Did you like it when he cracked that joke? He'll do a few more. Leans back in his seat, smiles at you, makes eye contact, and watches you get shy as you continue to chirp on about whatever topic you two managed to come across.
You visited his house only one time, at that time. And it was the day before the project was due. He said he had a big table that he used to make his sketches and art and that you two could add the finishing touches there. That was a great chance for him to introduce you to his mom, who, of course, loved seeing her closed-off son get to know such a nice young lady. You stayed for dinner, helped with the clean up, and finished the project. Ms. Morales loved watching you two talk. It was almost like her son was finding what made him happy again.
Let you take a heaping plate of leftovers home, and that was the first of many times you would be brought over to hang out with Miles and have dinner with him and his mom.
Eventually, that one good conversation you both managed to have about ideas for your project bloomed into the beginning of a long-term friendship. And soon enough, he would find a way to make that friendship turn into something more.
This is probably the most wholesome this whole thing will get. How else would he lure you in?
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wonwoosthetic · 9 months
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could you do joel and younger gf/wife (like in her early/mid twenties) and some young guy hits on her while they’re together in like one of sarah’s soccer games or soemthing and joel gets all jealous and insecure
Only You, Only Me
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warnings – slight jealousy and insecurities, but besides that A LOT of fluff ˙ᵕ˙, a quick mention of sex
word count – 7.1k
a/n – <3 thank you for the request, I hope you and everyone else enjoys this ˙ᵕ˙ also: having to call football soccer in this fic hurt my European heart haha😭 pre-outbreak!joel was a softy, you cannot convince me otherwise
requests – open ˙ᵕ˙
post-outbreak storyline poll
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You had sprinted half the way from the bus stop to the soccer field, running the other half, only coming to a stop when you finally reached the entrance. The dress you had chosen to wear had started turning into a slight regret as you had to hold it down from flashing everyone behind you, but the weather didn't let you wear anything below knee height.
With a few more steps forward, greeting the people by the footstalls and other parents with smiles, you finally found yourself right in front of the field, your eyes immediately raking over the space, trying to find the set of bouncy chocolate curls you knew all too well. Sarah was quick to find, making the smile on your face widen instantly as you watched her sprint towards the ball rolling over the grass. You could watch her in her element every free minute of your life. Even though she wasn't right next to you, you could hear her giggles as they had engraved themselves into your brain.
For a second, you directed your attention toward the far back on the right, where your partner's usual seat was, only to find him another second later. A handsome face like his just stands out from the crowd. You grinned to yourself once you noticed he hadn't caught onto your arrival yet, getting to see his perfectly shaped side profile as he watched his daughter and her team hopefully win on another sunny day.
With a grin decorating your face, you almost skipped over to your boyfriend who was sitting on one of the benches at the lowest height, while the other parents had occupied the higher seats on the platform. Passing one grandstand and walking along the length of the entire field before you'd reach the one Joel was sitting on. Too focused on what was going on right in front of his eyes, he didn't even notice your figure coming closer and closer. It was only when you had almost sat down, and your perfume reached his nose that he turned his head to the side.
"Well, look who's finally here," he greeted you with a smile, opening his left arm to welcome you into the space right next to him. 
"Finally? You know damn well I rushed out of my class to be here on time." With a roll of your eyes and a slight chuckle, you joined him on the bench, sliding into his arm swiftly. Sadly, as the new college year had just started, your work as a TA was more asked than ever. Multiple students had enrolled in your tutoring sessions - many more than you expected, explaining why you had to create an extra class for this Saturday, not finding any other available spots during the week. That's why you had been slightly late to the usual Saturday game that you would usually always attend hand-in-hand with Joel.
With a quick peck on the lips after a mumble of, "I know, I know," by your partner, the welcome wagon was finished, and your focus was back on the field. Joel's hand had quickly found its comfort spot on your thigh.
"What's the score?" You asked him, setting down the bag you had carried on your left shoulder.
A proud grin made his lips curl up. "1 to 0. Sarah assisted the first goal."
With a nod, you copied his facial expression. "Well done," you spoke quietly, eyes trained on the girl ahead of you. 
"How were the kids?" To anybody else, his question would let one believe that you worked in a kindergarten or primary school, not at a college where the students were barely a few years younger than you. But you knew what he meant. It still made you chuckle.
Your hands found his, running your softer fingers over his dry knuckles. You always told him to start using hand cream since his work forced him to use his hands so much, and yet he never did.
"Surprisingly motivated, not gonna lie. For a Saturday. I expected like no motivation, no raised hands, no answers or questions, or anything really. But they were really up on everything and seemed genuinely interested," you explained to him.
Joel couldn't help but chuckle, taking your hand into his much bigger one, and turning his head slightly towards you. "Well, if I had a hot TA that turned up in summer dresses to class, I'd also be motivated to go on a Saturday." His comment caught your attention as you grinned shyly at him, pressing your lips together.
"Wow," you nodded along. "Thanks for telling me they only want to be there because of my looks and not because I'm a good TA, and they can actually understand the material better thanks to me." Adding a joking scoff at the end, getting a chuckle from him in return.
His hand came up to brush over your hair, "I would never doubt your ability as a TA. I know you're the smartest person I've ever come across.", He pulled you in so he could place a kiss on your temple, whispering into your ear, "But I just wanted to make sure you know how beautiful you look."
A chuckle escaped your lips as you straightened the hem of your dress. "I think you showed me that today already in the bathroom, huh?" Grinning teasingly at him as you reminded him of his inability of holding himself back when it came to certain outfits you'd wear - one of them being dresses, specifically summer dresses. The inability, that had made you almost late for class today as he just had to take you in the bathroom, in front of the mirror, bent over the sink, interrupting you as you tried to get ready and look presentable for the day. You weren't complaining though. You'd never complain.
A smug smile made its way onto his lips as his fingers dug back into the flesh of your thighs, the grip almost surprising you.
"And I'd gladly show you again later, darlin'." His remark earned him a slap on the upper arm as you told him to focus back on his daughter's competition, the smiles not leaving either one of your faces.
Thanks to all the running, you noticed your throat had started to run dry, and you were in a very sudden but desperate urge to find something to drink. Glancing around the seat, you tried to find out if Joel had gotten himself something, only to your dismay to find absolutely nothing.
You got his attention with a quick slap to his upper leg, "I'm gonna go get something to drink, do you want anything?"
Without hesitation, your partner reached with his right hand into the back pocket of his jeans. "Should I go?" 
But you declined his offer, "No, no, it's fine, I'll be quick. Do you want something?"
He handed you over his wallet as he shook his head. "No, I'm good, thank you." Squeezing your thigh one last time before letting you stand up. Once your frame left the seating area, he noticed your bag laying on the bench and pulled it in closer, setting it down on his right side to keep an eye on it.
While you were making your way a little further back to where you had come from, the echoes of shouting and clapping became quieter and quieter with each step, making you turn around every now and then to make sure you wouldn't miss anything important.
You waltzed up to the woman in the snack truck and ordered two water bottles, knowing Joel would eventually want something to drink as well and Sarah still had hers in her backpack. As you waited for her to get them, the sound of a whistle ringing over the field reached your ear, indicating that the first half of the match was finished and they'd have a break now. Perfect timing.
You paid, thanked her one more time, and left to go back to your seat, getting a glimpse of the group of girls by the side of the field getting a speech of motivation before breaching out to find each of their parents to spend the break with. As you had your head down, remembering the slightly uneven side of the field where you were walking, you didn't catch the figure taking a few steps back. Not until you walked right into them. You immediately started to apologize and looked up, only to find Sarah's coach looking down at you, his hand on your upper arms as if he was afraid you'd trip.
"Oh, I- sorry, sorry I didn't look where I was going," you stumbled over your words, slightly embarrassed by what had happened.
The blonde man shook his head, a million-dollar smile wide on his face. "No, don't worry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have walked backwards, I don't know what I was thinking." His hands were still very evidently on your skin.
You chuckled, "What? Why were you walking backwards?"
He just shrugged, "I don't even know anymore." Laughing along with his comment. "Ben, by the way. Ben Miller." He dropped his hands, only to reach out with his right one for you to accept. Of course, you knew who he was. Sarah had been going to the training sessions of this team for a good year now, and the day she came home, beaming from ear to ear, talking all about how much fun her coach was, you knew they had found the perfect team for the little girl. You remembered her telling you all about the coincidence of meeting someone else with the same last name as her. Neither Joel nor you had the heart to tell her how common their last name had been in the US.
"Oh, yeah, I know," you let your palms touch, shaking his hand as you introduced yourself, holding on to the water bottles with your left arm, already feeling the condensation wetting the material of your dress.
"So," Ben cleared his throat. "You're Sarah's sister, right?"
His question almost made you choke on air. You knew you weren't the same age as most of the parents here, and the age gap between you and Joel had been a big subject to literally everyone but the two of you, but you had never gotten mistaken for that.
"Sister?! No, no, no," you quickly stopped him, trying to play off the continuous embarrassment with more laughter.
While you continued your conversation with the coach, hoping to leave a good impression as the woman taking care of Sarah and loving her father, the duo was in their own little world.
The youngest Miller skipped over to where Joel was now standing up, her backpack tucked underneath his seat as he held out her water bottle.
"Daddy, daddy, did you see? Did you see me?" The excitement was radiating off her, making the father smile brightly as his daughter ran into his arms, hugging him tightly.
"Yes, baby girl, I saw you," he petted the top of her hair, noticing the few strands that had fallen out of her ponytail. "You wanna redo your hair?"
Sarah jumped back, "No!" Touching her head.
"No?" Joel repeated.
"My hair is okay," she assured him with a hand sign she cutely formed, making him chuckle and nod as he sat back down, finally handing her over the bottle so she could down the cold water.
"Did you see Y/N arrive?" He asked her, wanting to make sure she was aware of the fact that you didn't dare to miss out on her match.
Sarah smiled brightly and started nodding her head up and down quickly. "And she's talking to coach Ben."
"No, she went to go get some water. It's hot, you know? You need to stay hydrated," he made sure to add a little anecdote as he straightened out the small jersey she was wearing.
But the little girl shook her head as she pointed straight forward to the right. "No, she's talking to Coach Ben right now." Joel's ears perked up. His head snapped towards the direction, his eyes immediately finding your figure, only half covered by the frame of the man in front of you. He couldn't read lips, so God knows what the two of you were talking about, but he didn't need to know. Your bright smile and clear giggles didn't need a translation.
Joel wasn't a stranger to jealousy. I mean, how could he. You were beautiful, inside and out, incredibly smart - he knew he was the luckiest man alive to be able to call you his. He never missed the glances you'd get from each man passing you on the street or the ogling eyes from one of Tommy's friends. Even back when the two of you met, he had wondered what a young and pretty girl was doing sitting there with him, only talking to him, glancing directly into his eyes when you could have had the attention of at least four other men at the table. He had considered himself the luckiest guy in the world back then and still did. But he also knew what you were worth. And he was very well aware that, partially, he couldn't give you that. Even though, the reassuring sound of your voice, sweet like honey words falling from your lips were still marked on him, letting him know just how much you adored him, every part of his body, face, and personality, he still couldn't get, who in his past life he must've saved to deserve an angel like you now by his side.
Joel tried to keep his cool as best as he could. Tried to look past your crossed legs, a move you only did when shyness took over - he remembered every time you did it before the two of you were official - as you looked up at the other man, slightly hunching over, covering your mouth as you laughed at something he said. He couldn't have been that funny...
Ben was a good-looking man. Young, fit, and definitely a feast for the eyes. Every man would get jealous watching him talk to their other half. Right?... What could be oh-so-interesting coming from some blonde-frat-boy-looking guy that you'd grin at him like that?
He reminded himself once again... You were his. But then... Ben was exactly that type of guy strangers would expect you to be with. Not some older dude like him. Tommy loved reminding him of that. He could recall every double take people had to do when glancing at the two of you. Every eye up-down he got from women - the judgement just screaming from the look on their faces. It never seemed to bother you though. If anything, it would only make you hold on tighter to his arm or give his cheek an extra kiss. Almost as if you were jealous at every look he'd get from another woman that was a second too long for your liking. He could almost laugh at that thought. You had absolutely no reason to be jealous. There would be nobody ever to compare to you. Joel, on the other hand, had every reason to envy other guys staring at you. Because while you were all of that, he was just Joel.
The voice of his daughter got him back into the present.
"Dad!" She pushed her water bottle into his chest, catching him off guard. "Why don't you say hi to Coach Ben?"
"I already said hi to him when I came here, babygirl," he explained monotone, tucking the bottle back into the backpack before storing it under the bench again. Sarah didn't need to know the bad feeling he had gotten from the blonde man right from the start. Something was just... not right. The moment Tommy mentioned liking him and thinking about inviting him for drinks after he had picked up his niece from training one day, Joel knew he wasn't to trust. If Tommy liked someone, he immediately knew they'd be bad news. God, if Tommy wasn't his brother, he wouldn't even trust him.
"Hi, Y/N!" The youngest Miller suddenly jolted up and ran over to where you were now coming closer to the both of them.
You were quick to kneel down, opening your arms wide to welcome the little girl as she wrapped her small arms around your neck, pulling you in tightly, so your cheeks were squished together - something she had always done to you, ever since Joel introduced you to her.
You greeted her just as ecstatically, letting go so the two of you could continue your journey back to her father together while you kept asking her about the match.
"You're not tired yet, sweetie?" You wondered, settling back down next to Joel.
Sarah shook her head with a giggle, "No, that's why we practice, Y/N." She reminded you, making you chuckle.
"Right, right." You smiled before wanting to hand Joel one of the water bottles, but he pushed it back.
"I don't need it."
You rolled your eyes, "Just take it, I know you'll want it later." With a huff he accepted. You decided to ignore the slight sudden change in demeanour, brushing it off as your mind playing tricks on you.
Before the three of you could get into a full conversation again, the sound of the whistle hit your ear, letting you know the break was over. Sarah jumped up, kissing both you and her father on the cheek before running back onto the field, into the group of girls that were surrounding the coach again.
Joel knew better than to start a fight right now. He didn't want to know about what had gotten you so giddily while talking to Ben only a few feet away from him. But he couldn't fully push down the anger that had started to rumble up his body, making him turn quiet.
If only you didn't have to bring it up.
"You know," you started after having taken a sip from your water bottle. "Ben kinda reminds me of Tommy. Are you sure you guys aren't related?" Even though he knew it was supposed to be a joke, the scoff just tumbled from his lips as he sighed,
"God, fuck, I hope not."
You chuckled, not realising how much truth was in his comment. "Yeah, you already got your hands full with one troubled Miller." Placing a hand on his back, only then noticing the slight tension his body held. "He said Sarah's been doing really well, and she might even be able to go up a league next year. That would be cool, huh?" You glanced over at him, but Joel kept his eye on the field, watching his daughter race from one end to the other, the ball right by her feet.
"Mm," he grunted. "What else did he say that got you to giggle like a schoolgirl?"
You scoffed with a chuckle, "What? I didn't giggle like a schoolgirl." Noticing he wasn't grinning like you expected him to, meaning he wasn't teasing you. You scrunched your eyebrows. "What's gotten you so grumpy, old man?"
Every other day, this would've gotten you a snort from him return before he'd start tickling the soul out of you or would attack your neck in kisses, continuously teasing you for calling him that, knowing that the age gap between the two of you was something you'd like to play with every now and then, giving you a slight kick. Why, was still a mystery to Joel because he found himself anything but attractive with each passing year. Whatever you saw in him was now even more confusing to him than ever before.
His eyes fell down to where your hand had found its way to his thigh, covering it with his warm palm, petting it once before he took it, only to drop it back into your lap, mumbling a quick,
"Nothin', don't worry 'bout it." Before his attention was back on the game ahead of you.
Alright... you thought, weird, but... alright. You realised, there was definitely something going on in that head of his, but also knew that the Saturday match of his daughter was not the place to discuss it. You'd wait until you were back home.
-
The two of you spent the rest of the game in silence, proudly shouting and clapping for Sarah when she missed the goal by just an inch, hyping her up, hoping to motivate her to keep going. The car ride was filled with the youngest Miller's rambling about the match and the team they played against as well as the homework she'd need help with once they got home.
Before you left the field, Joel definitely didn't miss the smug nodd Ben sent you before he disappeared as well, making him roll his eyes as you just waved, telling Sarah to do the same as he pushed you forward with a gentle hand on your lower back, making sure that it was low enough to send a quick non-verbal message to the young Coach.
At home, Joel decided to get started with the dishes while you helped Sarah with her Math homework, knowing you'd be much more of a help, thanks to your education and line of work than he'd ever be. Time passed thankfully quite quickly, and after making sure the little one got a good dinner, you sent her up to shower off the dirt and sweat from the hot day.
All while the older Miller was in the kitchen, scrubbing every single dish in fury, knowing how ridiculous others would find him if they could take a look inside his brain. He was so done with it. 
The disgustingly smug face of that coach kept showing up in front of his eyes, reminding him of just how pathetic he felt. He wasn't even mad at you. Or was he? God, not even he himself knew, what was making him react like this. Just the mere thought of any other man by your side made his blood boil. It had happened in the past. His primal instincts would just take over - he wasn't necessarily proud of it, but it was just the person he was.
Joel just couldn't get it out of his head. It wasn't the first time you had talked to a younger good-looking man, and it most definitely wouldn't be the last. He wasn't 12 anymore, he knew people, no matter the gender, would want to get along with each other. You even had to deal with people around your age every single day at work. Suddenly, that thought got him even more unwary. He tried to shake it off quickly.
Each day you'd come home to him, exhausted and complaining about some of your students. Never about the professor you worked for. It was always the students, specifically male students. Guys your age. The way you'd whine about their lack of motivation and focus would make you fall onto the couch, right into Joel's comforting embrace as he tried to calm you down, talking down on those exact guys, reminding you of the fact that college stuff was the last thing on a guys' mind during that age. It always made you groan. Each time. It would make him proud, now to think of it. Proud that rather than expressing your admiration for someone your age, you'd complain about their childishness, reminding him how grateful you were to have found him - a man, not a guy. But you talking to Ben seemed like anything but burdensome to you. It looked too natural for Joel's liking. But he knew to trust you, having had multiple conversations with you about the future. But even then...
He caught himself drifting off, snapping back into the presence quickly. Joel was already starting to dart way too low, reaching a level of dark thoughts he'd much rather not have. The two of you were a melodic couple. A couple that spoke to each other freely, he reminded himself. You always assured each other that nothing should be left unsaid and getting everything out is better than keeping everything in, no matter how embarrassing or pathetic it might be because there are no such things in a relationship. He remembered a conversation you had once dropped during a cuddle session on the couch. For some reason, it stuck with him:
-
"You know, Barbs broke up with her boyfriend." You suddenly threw in the room.
Joel raised an eyebrow, quickly having to remind himself that Barbs was one of your girlfriends that you had met up with for a Brunch date with the rest of your friend group.
"Why?" You knew he could probably care less about it, but he still wondered. If only you knew how much he actually just enjoyed listening to you talk.
You sat up from your half-lying position where your head had rested on his shoulder. Waiting until he had turned his head from the TV, he found your serious glance on him.
"Because she hasn't come even once during sex in the four months they've been together."
Joel took a deep breath, his eyebrows scrunched together. "Shit... poor guy."
"Poor guy?!" You exclaimed, hitting his chest, and making him flinch slightly. "Poor her! She's always had to finish herself off in the bathroom."
"Honey," he sighed, "I don't think you should tell me all that much about your friends." Joel would never complain about you sharing your life with him, but some information about your girlfriends should possibly stay between girls.
"No, you should know about this," you complained back, making him look at you with raised eyebrows.
"Oh? You tryna tell me something here, darlin'?"
His question made you giggle as you shoved him slightly, giving him the opportunity to hold onto your arm to pull you back into him.
"Please," you rolled your eyes, "You'd know if I was faking it."
"Yeah, I know," he mumbled into your hair as he placed multiple kisses all along your hairline. He laid your head onto his lap, your gaze up at him as he looked down at you, the palm of his running up down the side of your torso.
"But like... I asked her why she didn't just, you know, talk to him about it. They were so perfect for each other in every other way, and I'm pretty sure that could've gotten fixed too. I mean, there's hardly anything that can't get fixed, and I know I wasn't present for like every second of their relationship, but I don't know. Anyways-" Joel chuckled at your rambling. "I asked her, and all of my friends turned to me and looked at me like I... just told them, I don't know- the only reason I have five toes on my left foot was because I ate the sixth one when I was a kid."
"Darlin'," Joel laughed at your comment. Your way with words would never bore him.
"What?" You chuckled back at him. "I'm serious. They looked at me so weirdly." He let you continue, his hand now comfortable on your stomach as your fingers found his to play with. "But they all understood her. They said that instead of talking to their partners about that, they'd much rather just end it."
The oldest Miller shrugged, "Yeah, but I mean if it's uncomfortable for them."
"But it shouldn't be," you argued. "Right?" You waited for him to lower his gaze. "I thought in a relationship you shouldn't feel awkward to talk about anything. I wouldn't want you to hold back on talking to me about something just because you think it's ridiculous or whatever."
"You'd want me to tell you that I haven't come in the time we've been together?" You nodded along to his question. "You don't think that would make you feel weird?" You shook your head.
"I mean," a quick thought shut you up for a second before continuing. "The thing is, I'd question why you wouldn't have talked to me about it earlier, but... I'd still want to solve that problem together, you know?" You waited for a nod coming from him, but he only tilted his head slightly. "I don't think there should be anything you'd keep from your partner. If you're in a relationship, you're already sharing so much with each other, like, you're literally giving over your body to trust another person with it, but then you don't want to talk about stuff like that? I don't know, seems weird to me."
His knuckles came up to brush over your cheek. "You get shy when I talk about what I want to do with you as soon as I get my hands on you too though." 
You couldn't help but to grin. "Because you tease!" Getting a hold of his hand, you tried to push it away from you with a giggle. "That's different," you argued. "But if you have something that's bothering you or something and you think it's ridiculous or whatever, and that's the reason why you don't want to talk to me about it... I don't like that," you shrugged, making your point.
Joel nodded, a slight smirk still on his lips. "Alright, I promise, I'll let you know once you stop making me come, okay?" 
You jumped up with a laugh, slapping him once again. "Can you be serious for once?! You idiot!" Giggling as he tried to dodge your hits only to pull you in closer again, not wanting to be apart from your body for even a second. You groaned jokingly, "Ugh, I hate you sometimes."
"I know," he looked at your lovingly, throwing you back onto the couch, hovering above you as he pinned down your arms, "I love you too." Leaning down to kiss you.
-
With a huff, he dropped the now wet washcloth onto the counter, ready to make his way upstairs, knowing you were most likely already getting ready for bed as well.
Even though your conversation back then was filled with laughter and banter, he understood the seriousness of it. You wanted this relationship to work, just as much as he did. And the only way to make that happen was through talking. As much as Joel hated it, hated using his words, never knowing what the right thing to say would be, he knew he had to jump over his ego this time. With grunts, he moved up the stairs, hearing the shower in the master bathroom being turned off right when he entered your shared bedroom. He pulled up his shirt, throwing it into the basket in the corner, a purchase you had made once you moved in.
You opened the bathroom door, letting the steam escape as you turned to the mirror, wiping it down before you got ready for your skincare routine. Joel knew, if he shied away from the conversation any longer, he'd never get to it. So, it was now or never.
Taking step after step until he reached the door frame to lean on, he could feel his heart almost up to his neck, swallowing hard. You saw his figure coming closer from the corner of your eye as you applied your serum, turning your head once he came to a stop.
"You okay?" You wondered once again, hoping to maybe get an answer in return this time around.
He didn't even dare to look into your eyes, finding the floor much more interesting. Joel took a deep breath. He crossed his arms and lifted his head to look straight ahead into the wall, past you.
"You ever think about dating someone younger?" He rushed over his words, hoping to get this over as quickly as possible. You stopped mid-movement at the sudden question being thrown into the room. With confusion written all over your face, you turned to the right, his body still resting against the doorframe.
"What?" Was all you could let out. You understood the question acoustically, yet hoped to have misheard it still.
With a sigh, he started again, "Do- ugh, you know what? Forget it." He blurred it out just as quickly, his back facing you right away as he moved back into the bedroom, walking towards the drawer to get boxers for the night.
"Joel," you were quick to rush after him, "What did you just ask me?"
"Nothing, forget about it," he shrugged it off, looking around the drawer. Before he could even put his hand inside it, you closed it, positioning yourself between the piece of furniture and him.
"Why did you just ask me that?" Your concerned voice tugged at his heart. You were too good for him. 
You understood that Joel could possibly be insecure, just as much as anyone else was allowed to be, just like you were too sometimes. But you never expected such a question to come from him.
Joel placed both of his hands on top of your head to push it down slightly, placing a loving kiss on top of your hair.
"Nothin'. It doesn't matter, it's stupid." With a sigh, he walked over to the bed, sitting down on his side, his back once again turned towards you.
"Joel," you were definitely just going to let this slide, "You know exactly what I think of that 'it's stupid' shit."
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as his hands brushed over his face, a soft groan tumbling from his lips. "Yeah," he groaned, "I know, trust me. You have no idea how long I've been debating over asking you that shit."
That's when the switch in your head flicked. "Is that why you've been so quiet?" He only nodded.
With a sad sigh, you rounded the corner, coming to a halt in front of his hunched-over figure.
"What's got you thinking about something like that all of a sudden?" With another step forward, you were right in between his legs as he almost automatically let his hands drop to let you come closer, your fingers brushing through his hair. 
"It's a stupid question-"
You immediately shushed him by placing your hand over his mouth. "There are no stupid questions. You know that."
A slight grin crept up on his face as you lowered your hand again. "You really are a teacher, huh?" You tilted your head with a smirk you tried to hold back, not wanting to let go of the seriousness of the conversation.
"Come on," you petted his cheek, "Tell me." His hands found their way to your hips, riding up underneath his shirt you had decided to put on for the evening, pulling you in just a little bit closer.
With another deep breath in, Joel glanced to the side, trying to think about the right words, but his head was too occupied to think about that right now. "That stupid Ben fucker, I swear to God..." he cursed as he mumbled, making you almost unable to hear him clearly. But you still caught it, thanks to the silence in the room.
"Ben? Ben Miller? Sarah's coach?" You pushed his face to make him look up at you. "What did he say to you?"
He shook his head, taking your hands off his cheeks to hold onto them, kissing your knuckles. "No, no he didn't say anything."
"Then wh-"
"I saw you two talking together. Well, Sarah saw you first, but then I looked over too," he started explaining, still avoiding your eyes while you kept your gaze on him. "And, I don't know, something in me just snapped, I guess... watching him talk to you... just... yeah..."
"You don't like him?" You carefully asked, unsure if he was finished with his statement.
Joel shook his head, "Not really."
You nodded along, "Good. That makes two of us." His head snapped up at your comments.
"What?" You just nodded again.
"He's pathetic, it's... like, I know we shouldn't judge people, but God..."
Joel's eyebrows scrunched in confusion, "Then why were you laughing so much with him?"
"Because I wanted him to like me."
"Why's that so important to you?"
"Because of Sarah!" You explained, "She really likes him, and I want to leave a good impression on him because I don't want him to maybe treat her differently or whatever just because I wasn't nice to him. I- what, did you think I was flirting with him?"
The oldest Miller stayed quiet. Sometimes no answer is also an answer. And this time it was answer enough for you.
"Joel!" You whined out.
"What?" He looked up at you as you took a step back. "Look at you. You tryna tell me he wouldn't be tryin' something on a beautiful woman like you. You deserve someone like him!"
"Someone like him?"
"Someone young. And good-looking. And Jesus, I don't even wanna know what else," he threw his right hand up in frustration.
"Joel..."
"Look," he stopped you. "I understand it, okay? I don't believe you'd do something like that," he assured you before pointing to his head, "But the guys up here don't get it."
You raised your eyebrows in surprise, slightly concerned, "What?"
He shook his head with a groan, "I don't know..." Joel just couldn't find the right words. He would never accuse you of cheating or leaving him just like that, he got that. But... there was just something...
For a second, the two of you decided to stay silent. But you couldn't bear watching your boyfriend, your life partner, on the bed, sitting in frustration.
"Joel," you started again, taking that one step closer to be in between his legs again, making him look up. "Why would I want a dude in his early twenties that works at a gym just so he can use their stuff for free and brags about having a lonely huge ass apartment, and the only reason he's the coach of a girl's soccer team is because his dad forces him to, otherwise he'd stop paying his rent."
Joel glanced at you bedazzled. Gazing up at you as you returned to raking your fingers through his hair while his hands held onto your outer thighs.
"What?"
You nodded, your lips pressed into a tight line. "That's Ben Miller."
Another wave of silence washed over the two of you before you decided to go one step further.
"Why would I want someone like that when I have a trustful man that is mature, incredibly handsome, one of the funniest people I've ever met, who makes me feel like I might truly be the most beautiful woman he has ever seen." You lowered yourself, placing a knee on each side of him to take a seat in his lap, your fingers never leaving his dark curls. "Who is the most amazing father to a wonderful little girl, has a good job, a house, a well-planned future, who knows how to treat women with respect, who I know would never hurt me in any way," you had started to lock eye with him, "who loves me for me and who makes me the happiest I've ever been." Joel's fingers were digging into the flesh of your ass, making you lean forward just a slight bit more. "Why would I ever want to have someone else?" You let your right pointer finger slowly run over the side of his face. "I couldn't care less about Ben or any other guy like that. They're all the same," you rolled your eyes, making him chuckle. "I love you. And only you. And they can look at me all they want, I only care about one man." You finished your speech before leaning in to place a kiss on his lips that have already been screaming for you. The plan for it to only be a quick peck was quickly thrown out the window when Joel's grip on you tightened, pulling you in as close as he possibly could.
You separated with heavy breaths from both of you.
Joel let go of your ass, his right hand sliding up your back, just a bit. "So," he smirked, "You only wanted me for my house?" The sudden question made you giggle out loud, holding onto his shoulders as you stared into his dark brown eyes.
"Exactly," you nodded.
The oldest Miller let himself enjoy the moment just a bit more as he took in your appearance. No make-up, hair ready for bed, in one of his t-shirts with underwear covering you. Perfect. And all his.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I didn't doubt you, I really didn't. Just...," A heavy sigh fell from his lips. "There are so many young men that you could-"
"Boys," you interrupted him.
"Boys?" He chuckled.
"If they're around my age, they don't deserve the title of a man yet. And I don't need that," you made clear, following him with a smile as well.
Joel dared to look down for a second. "I just..." glancing up, to find your eyes never leaving him, your kind eyes still brightly shining right at him. "I thought about what Tommy used to say about you and his friends fitting together way better than us two-"
"And Tommy better shut his damn mouth if he knows what's good for him," your comment got a chuckle from him in return.
"And your dad wasn't all too happy about us either."
You nodded. "And my dad also cheated on my mom. Twice. You really think I'm gonna take dating advice from him?" He knew your relationship with him was... wobbly.
"I know, I know," he mumbled, his hands now rubbing up and down your body as you snaked your arms around his neck, making sure you had him close to your body.
"I only want you, Joel," you whispered, your eyes passionately interlocked with his as you leaned in for another peck. Your action made him smile, tightening his arms around you too. "And your house," you giggled against his lips. Joel couldn't hold back the chuckle as he let himself fall back into the mattress, pulling you along with him.
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joel taglist: @corvusmorte @aniia-x3
pedro taglist: @leslieelainetrask
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godisshook · 1 year
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Movie Night
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Zach was the best friend I could have. He was nice, a nerd just like me, and so so funny. One time, some bully tried to beat me up because I was gay, and Zach stood face to face with him and almost fought him if a teacher didn’t break them up before any fists could be thrown. He was the most genuine guy I knew, and when I found out we were both going to the same high school, I was overjoyed. He was incredibly driven, and despite him not being crazy smart, always was successful at anything he put his mind to.
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Sometime during our sophomore year he started really getting into working out, and he was making some progress, but I would always joke that he was just a “muscular shrimp” to which he would usually reply, “At least I HAVE muscle.” And he wasn’t wrong, I was 5’7 and 115 pounds, not the most built individual, most definitely.
We were always hanging out until the pandemic hit later in sophomore year. All of a sudden we were home, and I couldn’t talk to my best friend like usual. We kept in touch through discord and would call each other almost every day after class. When Zach got a girlfriend our junior year, we stopped talking almost completely, and I had a breakdown. When we were back in class senior year, he had completely changed. His girlfriend cheated on him before the year started, and broke up with him three weeks before the first day of class. He started going to the gym a lot more it seemed and even took a firefighter course, which I thought was super cool, even if I would never say it to his face.
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When we got back senior year, he looked completely different. A guy who was once 5’8 and only 130 pounds was now 6’2 and 185 pounds of pure muscle. He apologized for not talking to me for so long, saying that he needed time to just focus on himself, which I thought was bs but accepted because I still really valued him as a friend. In class, I would still joke with him, and he would welcome them, flexing as I said that his arms were too big, or he looked like a dorky jock if that was even possible.
The transition back made it so that we would alternate days going to class, and so we were still not seeing each other, but during one of his firefighting classes, I snuck in and attended with the teacher being none the wiser.
We also made a new tradition, a movie night over zoom. It was our way of still hanging out, even though we were busy and couldn’t just go to each other's places. I would constantly pick horror movies, and Zach would pick action every time. It was fun and allowed me to connect with my old buddy even as our lives became more hectic.
I noticed that as time passed, Zach became even more jock-ish, and would start calling me small and saying that he could easily lift me, which I took to great offense in a joking way of course. As we were watching Scream one night, I see Zach on my other monitor with his shirt off, flexing and looking straight at me. “What are you doing?” I say, looking at him incredulously. “Nothing.” he replied in a low tone. I shrug it off as him probably just being weird, and go back to finishing the movie.
I manage to sneak in a screenshot of him as he was doing it, and kept it in my camera roll for “blackmail.”
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I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about that night the following week, and one day in class, while daydreaming, Zach interrupts my waking dream by saying, “Do you wanna come to my place for movie night this weekend?” I look up at him and reply, “Of course!” I felt as if the old days of our friendship were coming back, and was so excited to go. His parents were out of town, and this is the whole house would be empty aside from us two. We decide that it would be better if I just spent the whole weekend there, so packed a suitcase on Friday to bring over.
We played board games all day, and then went into playing Fortnite, which he hard carried me in, having to explain half of the game to me the whole time.
It was my turn to pick the movie again, and I wanted to pick Nightmare on Elm Street because I wanted him to see all the "classics." When I came back from a bathroom break, he said I had practically missed half the movie, to which I swiftly play-punched him in the shoulder, and then immediately regretted my decision as it felt like punching straight iron. Despite this, we start play fighting, but as I vastly underestimated his new strength, and vastly overestimated mine, I found myself pinned against the couch as both of my wrists were in his hands.
I look up at him, and as he stares back, I notice his sweatpants start to rise. As the shape of his cock takes form in his sweatpants, he begins taking off his jacket, and I rush to pull my shirt off. There's a mutual hunger, a horniness only created after years of knowing each other, and it was releasing itself tonight.
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I rush to pull off his sweatpants, and begin sucking him off. "Fuckkkkkkk" he groans as I wrap my tongue around his shaft and start licking all over it. He pushes my head down on his cock as I gag, saying, "How do you like that?" "Itsthhh sooo guuuuddd" I say between breaths as his cock goes down my throat again. I had never seen him like this, it was like a beast took over him. He takes me and lifts me up, ripping my underwear and placing his cock into the hole he created in it.
He starts pushing me up and down on his cock as I'm on his chest, and every time he pulls me up he goes in for a kiss, a small bit of sweetness breaking through the roughness.
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Slowly, he starts to walk upstairs, with me still being hoisted up, and with his dick in me. Every step up causes it to go deeper, and as he gets on the stair it comes out ever so slightly. I moan in pleasure as he does this, and he slaps my ass as I do. When we get to his bedroom, he throws me on the bed and rips off the shreds of underwear I had left.
He fucks me for what seemed like years, taking his massive cock and digging it all in my tight hole. It felt like it was going up into my chest, and I rolled my eyes back as he kept fucking. After the backshots, he turns me over and fucks me, hugging his body towards me, and sliding his dick in and out. His abs were grinding against my cock, and I came as he started pulling in and out of me quickly. With him going faster and faster, I felt his dick get warm in my ass, and soon he started to groan, and hot cum leaked from his dick into me, and he laid on my chest with his cock still in my ass.
As I was walking home commando, I couldn't help but think about how good it was, and texted him, "Where did you get THAT energy from?" to which he replied, "From wanting you since day one." I will admit, that made me blush. Zach was now my regular fuckbuddy, and the sex was mindblowing. I looked forward to our "movie nights" every week, and even though we would never make it through a movie again, at least I get good sex in exchange.
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inlovewithmattstur · 2 months
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flordia - Chris sturniolo x reader
in which you are struggling to get all of your work done in a day or two before it's finished, stressed out to the breaking point of your own sanity but your boyfriends there to help and comfort you<3
warnings?: overthinking, lashing out, fluff fluff fluff and I believe that's it🫶🫶
enjoy!!
(pt 2)
12:34 1/18/24 :)
(the songs are colored in what I imagine when I see/hear them:])
"i just hope you think about everything when you play this song, don't take that shit too serious" -flordia by Dominic fike
you hate school work. you hate everything about it. in class, it's fine, it goes perfectly almost everytime. you know exactly what you need to do, you absorb every word your teachers say during the classes, you get pretty good grades most of the time. the other times? it's always your fucking performance with homework or work to finish during your free hour at school. you don't understand it and it feels so embarrassing to ask your teacher for help or a friend. fuck it's even more embarrassing to ask your own boyfriend.
it's not like you can't do it, it just jumbles all together, you just can't figure out what the directions mean for the life of you, the words are look like scribbles on paper or screen. there's no way you can process any of it and it frustrates you, it makes you want to rub your eyes until they hurt, tug on your hair until you feel that burn on your scalp, bite and chew at your lips so hard they're bleeding and raw. pick at your nails until there's nothing left.
why is it you can only focus when you're in that class? it doesn't make any sense, you should be able to in your free period, with friends, in the safety of your room, with your boyfriend.
playlist in the background, playing quietly but loud enough that you can hear everything from the song and feel it. your phone goes off with a soft *vrr vrr* indicating someone had texted you. you pick your phone, smiling softly seeing "Chris<3" at the top of the notification. you take a deep breath in and open his text
"hey I was wondering if I can come over:) I miss you<3"
you ponder on it, knowing you're stressed out and really need to get it done. but Chris is understanding and sits there quietly on his phone. you answer with a quick,
"of course:) doors open"
you sigh frustrated, grabbing your hair and tugging on it gently and rubbing your eyes and face before moving your work a few inches away from you and changing the playlist for two reasons. you're sick of your study music and Chris is coming over. picking one, shuffling it, it has a mix of lil skies, Dominic fike and yung pliet.(literally my playlist) humming contently as red roses plays first and turning it up some more.
you get up to clean up drinks, food trash, and clothes off the floor. not doing too much but just enough to tidy up. one of your favorite parts come on while you're making up your bed to be a little more presentable
"shawty said she like my style, I be dripping with ease
please don't send me naked pictures, I don't like to be teased
say she got that super soaker, well girl, just let me see"
you sing, well more like belt out, using whatever is in your hand as if it were a microphone. feeling a little more happy now that Chris is coming, smiling big while singing the rest of the song
some more time passes by, you know he should be here any minute. your smile slightly falters knowing you have to continue your work but anxious because that means Chris is going to see you get so frustrated. you don't like him seeing that from you but of course it's bound to happen soon enough.
right as westside by Yung pliet ends, in fades why by Dominic fike, and as soon as it does Chris softly knocks on your door to let you know he's there. turning the knob and letting himself in, his eyes instantly land on you, in your bed, papers on both sides on you, pens and pencils scattered, and your computer in front of you. his eyes widen while looking at you, a dorky grin getting bigger on his face, walking towards you and bending down to kiss your forehead
"hi my love, how's work going so far?", he says while observing everything in front of you
"it's going horrible" you think but settle on a simple "it's going good, I'm just doing work from every class here and there", a similar smile growing on your face. you pat down on a spot next to you, inviting him to come closer which he does without missing a beat. getting cozy with all of your blankets and stuffed animals(making sure to not touch the one that means the most to you).
some time passes by, you're working on the same paper that you were when Chris got there. he's sitting off to the side, texting his brothers and friends, on Instagram and tiktok quietly to not disturb you while you're focused. the same playlist is playing in he background, I by lil skies is playing now, catching Chris's attention and yours. softly humming the lyrics while trying to focus on your work.
the words are starting to jump around again, nothing is making sense and it's getting frustrating. you try to act like it isn't pissing you off but it's getting harder to not let out a loud sigh. Chris, feeling you shuffle around, looks over at you to make sure you were okay sees your eyebrows furrowed down and chewing at your lips. he frowns, thinking it's probably too much to get done by yourself and offers any help
you sigh and shake your head no, there's no way you'd let him figure out how stupid you were, not being able to do it yourself. not like he would think that anyways, that kid has the lowest grades you'd ever seen in kindest way. but he's still super smart, he struggles like you do.
"no Chris, I can do it just.. keep doing what you're doing. it's okay" you try to say softly, not wanting any harsh tones coming out towards him. it's not his fault at all. he hums, skeptical knowing how hard school work can be but leaves you alone, going back to his phone....
im leaving this here as this, if y'all want the rest of the story please let me know:]!! I seriously want to finish it and I know exactly how but yk writers block. PLEASE ENJOY!!
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writersblockedx · 1 year
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Just Being Neighbourly
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Pairing - Pre-death!Tate Langdon x Fem!Reader Summary - The two have been neighbours for some years now, yet Tate can't help but make his move. Warnings - None, I don't think, just a lot of fluff! Words - 1.6K
A/n - It’s October which means I’ve been re-watching AHS and couldn’t help but write a tate fic after finishing murder house!
Masterlist 
It was always a mystery living in the house across from the Langdons. They were strange people, Y/n's mother would say coming home late from work after getting reeled into conversation with Constance. Or sometimes Y/n would catch the young boy, whom she knew to be Tate from school, leaving the house in the early hours of the morning.
It was them hours when she would be intruded by the thoughts to follow after to him, to yell his name. They were barely even acquaintances, they would be classed as strangers if it were the fact they knew the other's name. But, for whatever reason, Y/n couldn't help the feeling to make sure he was okay in them midnight hours. Yet, every time them thoughts surface, she'd bypass them, tell herself it was none of her business and return to trying to sleep herself.
It had been one random weekend when things began to change. She'd been standing at the bus stop at the end of the road for a bus that was already five minutes late. Her legs chilly with the autumn breeze that passed, yet she had no choice but to bare it in anticipation for the vehicle which was due. She'd been so focused on trying to spot the bus, she had never even clocked that Tate was wandering up to her.
His hands in his pockets, surely to keep his own palms warm, and a slick smile smothering his expression. "Hey," His soft tone reached her ears, almost making her jump - something of which she was successful in concealing as she turned to face Tate.
She too flashed a grin. Y/n tried hard to make sure it wasn't too much, but at the same time, that it wasn't too little. They were neighbours after all - they had to be neighbourly. But, Y/n also didn't want him getting any other ideas. Well, that part she wasn't quite sure of yet. "Hi, Tate, you alright?" She asked him.
"You don't have to make small talk." He chuckled and they both felt a wave of relief from his words. "We're not our mothers. You know, pretending to make small talk as if we don't hate each."
Her eyes narrowed and she swayed on her feet in curiosity. "How do you know my mother doesn't like yours?" She queried with a cheeky glint in her pupils that they both seemed to share.
"Because I've met my mother. I happen to live with her." He replied.
"Sounds torturous." Y/n didn't know the half of it. "Are you saying we secretly hate each other?" She then asked with the quirk of a brow.
He shrugged and took a moment to reply as if debating if he should even speak at all. "Do you? Hate me?"
Her head shook the moment the words slipped passed his lips, "No, of course not. What gave you that idea?"
Again, he was hesitant. Y/n couldn't know for sure, but this seemed like a concern which had been haunting him for awhile now. "You don't speak to me at school. Like when we pass in the hallways, or in class." He shrugged as if his tone wasn't dripping in heavy emotion he seemed to have been holding onto.
"Niether do you, Tate." She said with a slither of a smile. Had she known her apathy towards him was causing such concern, she would have done something about it.
"So you don't...hate me?"
She grinned back at him like she did the first time. "Course not." She told him, looking back at the road to spot the bus which was soon approaching.
Neither of them said anything as it gained closer until it stopped. Y/n got on first, swirling back to face Tate when he made no move to get onto the bus. "You not getting on?" She questioned with knitted brows.
A slick smirk was plastered against his lips, "I'm not getting a bus." He winked, the doors shut and the bus started moving again. There was one question that soon rung around Y/n's mind: if he wasn't getting on the bus, what had he been doing standing at the bus stop?
There was one thing that came out of that unexpected conversation: Y/n started noticing Tate at school. In the beginning, she'd started to smile at him in the hallways, he'd always smile back. Then it was a 'good morning' as they passed, or whispered in class. Before Y/n even realised it, she was looking for him in the crowds. She wished she'd bump into him, that they'd meet eyes and have an excuse to talk again.
There came a day where she just couldn't bare it anymore. Weeks had passed and while they were friendly, she craved for more. She was seated in the library, surrounded by a few friends. Y/n had a good amount of work to do - as her teachers kept reminder her - but her eyes wouldn't dare peel from the curly-haired boy sat two tables down from her.
Tate always sat alone. Sometimes it was because he simply wanted to do, other times it was because there wasn't a second option. At this time, he was completing some much over-due work, headphones over his ears which drowned out the chatter of the mindless teenagers around him. But it also drowned out Y/n. He was utterly unaware of her presence. Had he been, he probably would have made an effect to catch a glimpse of eye contact for the third time today. Alas, Y/n took matters into her own hands.
Without alerting her friends, she gathered herself from the table she was seated at and wandered over to Tate's. She didn't say anything till she sat in the chair across from him. Still with his music blasting, Tate had no idea of his new company. Well, not until she carefully snatched his Biology book from under him. Then his head snapped upwards, instantly flashing a smile as his gaze found Y/n.
"Ooo," She hummed as she took his text book, "Biology, must be a rough day."
He tucked his headphones off, letting them sit around his neck. "It's not that bad." He shrugged; certainly not his least favourite subject there was.
"Have to argue with you on that one." She quirked, sliding the book back towards him.
"Really? You struggling with an academic subject? Doesn't sound like you." He spoke as if he knew her ever so deeply.
She leaned in slightly, finding her chin fitting in the cup of her palm as she stared affectionately to the boy seated across from her. "And who told you that?" She questioned.
"Well, your mom told mine that you're an exceptional student." He chuckled with his words.
"That is true, except for biology." Y/n explained before a cheeky glint emerged in her eyes. "You know, if you'd be happy to, you could always help me out a little." She was testing the waters. She wasn't sure what had happened that day at the bus stop, but it had flickered some light in her which was still crackling and urging for more.
Tate laughed again, his doe-eyes meeting hers, "I can't believe you're asking me for help." He paused and her smile grew. "But, of course, I'll help you."
And so they arranged a time the next day to study over the subject. They met after school at her house. Despite being neighbours for a good few years, Tate had never in fact been at Y/n's house. But, as he was directed up stairs to her bedroom, he remembered thinking that it was exactly as he had expected it to look. Especially, when it came to her room.
"Do you have your text books?" Questioned Tate as they sat at either end of the bed, soon becoming surrounded by papers.
Y/n played in with knitted brows as she listen intently to the blond boy explain the carbon cycle. A topic which was easily a boring one, yet Y/n was more enticed than ever. "Do you get it?" Tate asked, seemingly snapping her out of her awe.
She nodded, "Pretty much yeah." Tate didn't reply. Instead, he plastered on an adoring smile as their eyes intertwined with one another. "What?" Y/n finally giggled when the silence went on for too long.
"You just-" He looked away for a moment. "You stare a lot." He looked back. Their smiles never faded.
The girl shrugged, "I like how you explain things." There was a glint glistening in her pupil that left Tate questioning what was about to follow.
She was already leaning in when Tate responded, "That's a good thing, I guess." He never shuddered as she got closer. Yet, he could never excuse the shivers which electrocuted his spine as their lips finally touched.
They pulled from one another, their foreheads lingering, yet not daring to touch. Tate still had his eyelids closed when Y/n opened hers. He was savouring the moment. Even if he knew the feelings were certainly reciprocated. Once they finally flickered open, Y/n admitted, "I actually have an A in Bio."
They both giggled. They both knew this wasn't the last. That, despite her A in Bio, there would be more study dates, more kisses and they would become more than just neighbours.
-
Everything - @alexxavicry @Emily-roberts @starrryskiees @m4nulup1n​  Want to get notified next time I post? Click here to get added to a taglist!
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husbandhoshi · 23 days
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[5:00 PM]
lee chan never misses a beat.
one of your favorite things to do is watch him. the cocktail shaker turns to liquid gold in his hands, and no matter what terrible remix the dj decides to play for the night, you can never miss the hum of one of his perfect pours.
if you weren't competing for tips, you might say you had a bit of a thing for him.
but who doesn't? on weekends, the music is loud, and you think the easiest place to fall in love is here, at a college bar where vodka runs like water and you can't hear the sound of your own better judgment. truly, it's just a bonus that its star bartender wears the hell out of a button-up.
it's the slow hour, or, as mingyu likes to call it, free money, since all he does in the kitchen is throw shots while frying off the leftover mozzarella sticks before the friday night rush. the bar is empty, and the minutes pass like honey. usually, you prep your station and punt half-baked insults at chan, who isn't above returning the favor.
but today seems different. you watch him fumble with the strainer as he finishes up a mojito, seemingly in slow motion. he's already had to do a few remakes, and you can't remember the last time that's happened.
"think fast."
you toss chan an empty glass, which he nearly drops.
"sheesh," he grumbles. "trying to take my head off and it's not even 7 yet."
"sorry." you grin, and you watch him fight down his dimples as they fold up in return. "you were in a staring match with that poor girl's margarita."
"horrible week." he runs a hand through his hair. "i think i need a drink more than anyone else."
"boo hoo. wipe your tears with your tip money."
chan rolls his eyes at you, and you prepare to double down before it occurs to you that you couldn't keep teasing him even if you wanted to.
the only thing you know about him is, one, that he's old enough for this job, and, two, that he goes to your university. you've tried to guess what he's studying before, but nothing seems quite right—he's too practical for the humanities and not quite miserable enough to be in the sciences. last week, you saw him count a handful of change at least four times, so math was off the table.
regardless, it feels wrong to see chan, seemingly impenetrable to the perils of academia, winded by a bad week at school.
before you can say anything, the lone couple on chan's end of the bar flags him down and orders two off-menu cocktails with a million modifications. you watch the defeat write itself all over his face as he trudges over to you, and you decide it's time for an intervention.
"you," you say, pressing a finger to his chest. "sit. no questions."
chan frowns but acquiesces—he's learned the hard way not to cross you. instead, he takes a seat on the other side of the bartop and watches you make the drinks instead. you've run through these steps too many times to count; everything from the waxy twist of the orange peel to the bell-toll of the stirring spoon is second nature, except now it's also decidedly not. chan's gaze is surprisingly warm and it bothers you.
you slide the two drinks down and put a third in front of your weary coworker, who looks more and more confused by the second.
"drink," you tell him. it's a pint of beer, namely his favorite brand, although you'd rather die than reveal that it is not, in fact, a coincidence that you know this.
he first looks confused, then relieved. then he has the gall to smile at you, and you almost choke on your own heartbeat.
"are you trying to get me too drunk for my shift so you can poach my tips?" he raises an eyebrow before his expression disappears under the lip of the glass. "or is this a set-up? so you can report me for drinking on the job?"
"no and no, although those are good ideas." you bite the inside of your cheek as you piece together what you want to say—honestly, you didn't think you'd get this far. "what class?"
"what?"
you busy yourself with washing the two and a half glasses in the sink so that you don't have to maintain eye contact with him.
"you heard me."
"education studies," he sighs. "we had a three part midterm this week."
"education studies? you want to be a teacher?"
"is that a bad thing?"
no, it isn't. actually, it's the furthest thing from being bad—you picture chan in a too-big cardigan reading the very hungry caterpillar to a room of small children, and it genuinely makes you feel a little bit hungover.
"no, i just..." you search for your next jab at him, but it escapes you. "i didn't expect it, that's all. it...suits you."
"you're an art major, right?"
he says this as you're in the middle of rinsing the same glass for the third time, and you almost break it. "—how'd you know?"
"you always leave your sketchbook in the break room. you're really good, you know." then he holds up his hands like he's being mugged. "n-not that i snooped or anything. you just forget it sometimes, so i try to put it back in your bag after shift if i see it out."
suddenly things make a lot more sense. you've lost track of the times you've walked back to the bar after work thinking you forgot it, only to find it neatly tucked away in your backpack. the mental image of chan agonizing over whether or not to touch your stuff would make you laugh if it wasn't so endearing.
it makes you think about all the other small kindnesses you've allowed each other—the nights where he'd lend you his jacket if the air was cranked too high, or the times you'd cover for him when he'd show up late. or now, with this stupid pint glass you keep refilling and the floaty feeling in your head.
you look up from your nonexistent task to look at him, only to find that he's also looking at you, that he's been looking at you. something in your chest feels like it's being steamrolled, and if you weren't so concerned with swallowing down the heat in your cheeks, you'd notice that he was doing the same.
thankfully, mingyu emerges from the kitchen to ruin the moment. he has nachos in one hand and curly fries in the other, which is, in your opinion, the only acceptable way to do so.
"finally," he says, clapping chan on the back. "you guys have stopped ogling each other and started actually talking!"
your stomach drops, and you think you and chan actually gasp in unison, like you're in a cartoon. mingyu cackles. this is going to be a long night.
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koiir · 8 months
Text
⸻ The Feels ⸻
Scenarios with your crush, based on moments with me and my crushes
𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ Characters; Isagi, chigiri, reo x gn!reader
𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ Genre/content; fluff, some angst + comfort on chigirs part | high school au, not proofread
A/n; i swear with school it’s been so much harder to write but this is an idea I’ve been wanting to write about bc why not
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𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ ISAGI YOICHI
Isagi who is the boy who you’ve liked for…how long? You don’t know why you still hold feelings for him, it’s a bittersweet feeling for you since you haven’t actually ever talked to him. Unless it was school related, you just never had the guts to talk to him on your own free will.
Maybe it’s the hope in your heart that things maybe some can potentially happen, I mean—you two do have three classes together, and this isn’t the first year you two have had classes together.
So when you walk into class seeing your classmates scattered around, its evidence of the new seating chart that has been made. Somehow, your seat is the same and your friend is also in the same seat as before—but he isn’t. Isagi.
Cause now you have isagi seated right in front of you…you feel yourself try and compose yourself as quickly as you can before walking to your tabel. You notice the look your friend is giving you, a clear indication that they will clearly have a fun time with this arrangement…
“How long are we assigned these seats for?” You ask heading over to your table placing your items down and taking a seat. You try and not to look at isagi, but it’s so hard when he is clearly the other person in your view as you look at your friend.
Why out of all seats does he sit in front of you…it only makes your heart pound faster as he looks at you as you speak.
“Oh…I think for like a month or so.” What? A month of having isagi sitting in front of you?! You feel like you might pass out.
You try to keep your eyes on your teacher as she teaches, but whenever you take notes it’s almost perfect with how you and isagi move at the same.exact.time. You can’t help but spare glance at him—I mean, he is your crush after all…and what’s worse is he does the same thing.
You try not to crack a bashful smile, you keep your mouth covered with the your hand on your chin as you write down. But to focused on your own emotions, you don’t notice the way isagi has a red tint on his face as he takes on more glance at you.
Class feels more longer as you hear the soft ticking of the clock, your leg bounces up and down as you feel so many thoughts run through your head. It’s only worse when you’re stuck on a problem, you reread the question over and over but to no avail. You can’t seem to get an answer down.
You notice the way others around you turn the page over while you are still stuck, you start to feel anxious if you will be able to finish this before class ends.
“Do you need help [name?]?”
“Huh?”
You feel your face lift up immediately after hearing it, isagis voice catching you out of your trance. It’s only until you look at him that you feel yourself grow more nervous speaking to him face to face like this.
“You seem stuck” he tells you, you notice the soft smile on his face as he runs his hand looking at your sheet of paper filled with scribbles.
You grip your pencil tighter as you look down, holding eye contact with him for this long is making your heart want to explode. You wish for a smile to make its way on your face but you keep yourself composed.
“Oh…well, yeah. I just don’t…”
“Get it? Yeah, I had a hard time with that question too..”
Isagi hands you his paper, the smile now genuine as you see his flushed face. You feel yourself look at him and then the paper before giving a small smile before taking it.
“If you want I can explain it…or you can just copy it.” You look down bashfully as you smile writing down what he has on his paper onto yours.
“Ah no it’s fine…thanks.”
You don’t know why, but your hand writing comes out more sloppy. Maybe it’s because of the way you can feel isagi watching you closely as he awaits for you to finish, you try and rush but you wish for this moment to last longer.
“Of course, I can help anytime you need.” Maybe this month wouldn’t be so bad as you thought, cause now you had a chance to share more moments with isagi like these. That definitely feed into your delusions.
𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ CHIGIRI HYOMA
You remember the first time you were introduced to chigiri, it was when you both were ten and in the same class. At first you found his confidence quite annoying as he would always find some way to annoy you, but you also found yourself looking forward to seeing him as well as playing with when it was time for recess.
Over the course of the couple months of your friendship, you found your feelings grow more for him—it stayed this way for a year until he ghosted you. Even though you were young, you knew what heartbreak was—and you felt this feeling once he no longer spared glances at you or tried to talk to you.
You and chigiri didn’t have any classes the year later, but even then you both kept in contact—but all of the sudden he just stopped. You didn’t know why, but it was clear something happened. To him at least.
It’s been a couple years, you won’t lie to yourself but you sometimes ponder on what could have been whenever you notice chigiri through out the hallways, you both now in middle school…until it’s your first year in high school.
What you didn’t expect was to enter the classroom filled with familiar faces, yet his face was one you didn’t expect. It seems you have no assigned seats, so you walk over to an empty table in the back with a friend of yours and when you do chigiri turns and looks at you.
It feels only natural to look back, but you quickly glance away while he doesn’t. You slowly sit down on your seat as you feel a weird feeling, it isn’t exactly that you are nervous but rather you don’t know what to feel. Maybe it’s because he left without saying anything.
You notice his small glances at you as he has to look back slightly to even see you, but you try to pay no mind to these glances. It’s not like you’ll see him after this, right?
Well you seemed to have jinx yourself because you have two other classes with chigiri…you definitely didn’t expect this since you haven’t had a single class with him in years.
It’s been three weeks since school has started, and you don’t know how to feel with chigiri being in three of your classes, you notice his glances—and you yourself find it hard to not look at him at least once. It’s been like this, where you two would occasionally make eye contact or in which you would find him glancing at you.
Or…those awkward moments in which you two stood face to face as you two looked at each other before you both walked away, or whenever you stood next to each other. The awkward tension being so unbearable for you….
It’s a normal class, yet you feel yourself dreading the next activity as you can’t be partners with someone you already have…you give your friend an annoyed glance as you both sigh wishing you two could work together.
When everyone is given instructions, most stay in their seats until someone gets up, and then the next until the cycle continues. You have options, you know most of these people so you wouldn’t mind being with any of them, but just as you are about to get up you notice him walking towards you.
“Wanna be partners?” You feel yourself immediately because stiff as you hear his voice, it’s been a while since you have—especially with how close he is. You haven’t been eye to eye with him for so long…
“Oh! Yeah, sure.” You hate the way your voice comes out saying that, but you feel your heart pounding. Maybe it’s because he isn’t smiling, maybe it’s his tone that makes you feel like he forgot all about the friendship you two once held. Buts that all in the past, you can’t do anything about it no.
But his smile makes you rethink things, it’s an awkward smile yet so cute on him. You feel your own lips curl into a small smile as you two get seated next to one another, reminding you of the past when you two always sat next to each other.
“You ready?” Unlike earlier, you notice the difference in his tone as chigiri looks at you, a grin on his face as he looks at you. You feel yourself looking back at him before feeling the warmth of this feeling in you, it gave you a sense of nostalgia being with him like this.
“Of course I am.” You say as you give chigiri a smile that reflects his own. You thought you could push away your thoughts from him, but not with the forced proximity, it seems to have worked out in your favor. Chigiri knows that this time, he won’t run away from it.
𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ REO MIKAGE
It’s well known to you who reo is, his reputation already perceiving him even though it’s only the first year into high school—everyone hogging him trying to become a friend of his.
As for you, you don’t try and get to know him like your other peers as you just try and get all A’s—but it does annoy you how easily someone like him can get amazingly good grades. Does he even try?
As you pay no mind to the others around you and keep focused on yourself, it comes as a surprise to you that reo starts talking to you. It’s not exactly a normal conversation either…it’s more like he’s pestering you trying to catch your attention.
And you think that this is just him trying to get to know all of his classmate, yet when he does it more than once—you know reo is doing this on purpose. It certainly doesn’t help that you both share another class together, where he sits right across from you.
It stays this way throughout the year as reo’s pestering now turns into short conversations between you two, in which he always starts as he walks up to your desk.
You want to brush him off, but even you can’t get enough of this. You don’t know why, but you find yourself craving more because clearly these short lived moments aren’t satisfying you enough.
It only makes you more conflicted when you both share glances in the hallways, or whenever he waves to you whenever he can. In these moments, you find yourself smiling seeing him bashfully walk away with a blush as his friend drags him away.
It isn’t until the end of the year that you realize how you start to feel the flutter in your heart whenever reo is near, or that feeling of jealousy as you see others trying to hog him all for themselves. You can only sit as you watch, knowing that you feel more for him than you eventually thought.
It’s now your second year, a new year and you feel yourself hoping to have at least one class with reo as you walk through the hallways.
You feel a sense of happiness wash over you as you know you have two classes with reo, your last class you two share gives you the perfect view to spare glances at him—which leads you both to smile as he gives you a small wave. Similar to the year before, this continues for the rest of the months to come.
It’s most of the talk right now, the dance that the school holds every winter. Everyone talks the talk, throughout the hallway and even when entering the classroom.
“Are you going?”
“Who are you going with?”
You stand behind your desk as you talk with some others, until you look to the side and see reo enter into the classroom. You immediately look away before smiling as you ponder the question if reo is going.
“Hey, [name]…” he now stands in front of you as he grabs something behind your for the class, it isn’t the first time he’s been eye to eye with you like this.
“Hi reo.”
You notice his odd attitude, but it’s similar to other times whenever he talked to you at times. He looks away, almost wondering if he should say what he wants to. He then looks back at you asking you, “are you going to the dance?”
You feel taken aback at the question, since it is coming from reo. But you know everyone is talking about it, so you try and brush this feeling away.
“Oh…I actually don’t know yet. I know a couple of my friends are going but…you know.”
You laugh a bit wanting but reo takes your words and feels himself wanting to ask more. But the bell ringing is causing a disturbance to him as it indicates class will start, giving him no time to say what he wants.
“Are you going?” You quickly ask, seeing others starting to head down to their seats.
“Ah…yeah, why not!”
Reo says sheepishly, he looks down before giving you a grin as he walks to his seat to get ready for the class.
If anything, reo wasn’t actually planning to go—but he views this as an opportunity to at least ask you to with him, hoping it will change your mind about going to the dance. With him.
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apollyonsdarksecrets · 7 months
Text
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Actions and Consequences
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven
Summery: She’s reserved, emotionally cut off, and spiraling down a dark path; one she can’t get out of on her own. Aaron Hotchner may be her only help, but at what cost? When he shows up to her hotel room, contact in hand, she realizes it may be more than what she bargained for.
Warning: 18+ Only MDNI SMUT. Language, BDSM, Dom Aaron, emotionally detached reader, typical CM violence, childhood trauma, abusive father figure, age gap (reader 25 Aaron 40) doesn’t line up with a specific time line, use of Y/n because story is set in 3rd person for the first half then switches POV, last name for reader is Smith,
Specific Chapter Warnings: implied sex (between reader and ex-boyfriend) past boyfriend being rough and mean to reader, eating, official set up of dynamic and rules, a little bit of spicy for you guys 💋(hint)
7 Years Ago
“Two more weeks… I can’t believe it.” Y/n sighs, leaning her head against the shoulder of the boy laying beside her. He smiles, passing a hand over the top of her head, smoothing down her static hair.
“We’re going to be graduates… fuck it’s crazy.” She cranes her neck, smiling as she meets green eyes. He leans forward, pecking her lips quickly. “Alright, let me up. My moms gonna be home soon.” Y/n rolls over, taking the black sheet with her as he climbs out of bed, searching for his shorts.
“Good, I need to help her finish the desserts for your party tomorrow.” After months of hopping from one house to the next, Y/n has finally been able to settle into the guest bedroom of her boyfriend’s family home with what little belongings she owns. She sits up, letting the sheet fall around her hips as she snags her t-shirt and leggings off the floor.
“Oh yeah? What y’all making?” He tugs on his tank top, running his hand through his spiky blond hair as he eyes the naked expanse of her back.
Y/n shrugs, pulling on her shirt before slipping into her leggings. “Um I think a lemon cake.” The young man flops onto the bed and she laughs, laying back down beside him, her fingers twining together to rest over her stomach.
“I do like lemon.”
She rolls her eyes with a smile, “Trust me, everyone knows Trever.” He nudges her with his elbow and she laughs, a joy filled sound she’s finally getting use to.
“God, I can’t wait, finally get out of high school and we can just… do whatever. Well I mean I’ve got collage next fall but still.” Trever sighs blissfully before turning to look at his girlfriend. “Gonna come be my secret roommate? Get me in all kinds of trouble.”
“You wish,” Y/n scoffs, nudging him back. “You know my classes start a semester before yours.” Trever stays silent for a moment, Y/n staring up at the ceiling unaware of the change in his once easy expression.
“You’re still serious about that?” The question catches her off guard, her head turning to look at him. His face is pinched, like he can’t believe her. Y/n sits up, turning to face him fully.
“Y-yeah… Trever I’ve been serious about this. It’s the whole reason I work three jobs and bust my ass in school every week.”
He pushes himself up, leaning against his head board. “Look, babe, I’m not trying to be mean here but… do you really think you can do it? You’re talking about the FBI here… they don’t just take anyone. Especially…” He hesitates and her temper flares, her eyes narrowing.
“Especially, what?”
Sighing he gestures to her with a splayed hand, “Ya know… little country girls who don’t really know what they are doing. If you really want to work somewhere that makes you feel like you’re making a difference, why not go for something you’re almost guaranteed a job?” His expression shifts like he’s had the most brilliant idea, ignoring the obvious hurt growing across Y/n’s features. “911 dispatcher! You won’t even have to waste your money on-.”
“Fuck you.” She spits, standing and marching from the room, anger filling her chest to the point it almost hurts.
“Hey! Don’t talk to me like that!” Trever follows her out into the hallway, grabbing her by the shoulder as they reach the top of the stairs. She spins and shoves him, but he plants his feet, gripping her painfully by the shoulders. “Don’t you ever fucking talk to me like that again. Not in my goddamn house. You’re lucky my parents are even letting you stay here and you’re gonna act like that?” He shakes her harshly, her teeth slamming together making pain shoot up her jaw.
“At least your parents fucking believe in me! Your moms the one that paid off the rest of my entrance fee last week!” She struggles against him, her hands pushing at his chest but his fingers dig into her muscles. His face reddens but before he can say anything the front door swings open. A short, black haired woman stares up at them in confusion, her mouth open slightly.
Trever steps back quickly and Y/n moves down the stairs, keeping her eyes on her so-called boyfriend. “What is going on? I could hear you screaming from the front porch.” She closes the door behind her, her many bracelets tinkling with the movement as she sets her purse down on the landing.
“Nothing, Mrs. Dwayne.” Y/n says quietly, moving down the stairs until she is beside the woman. “I need to go to work…”
“I thought you were going to bake with me dear?” The sad look that passes across the older woman’s brown eyes makes Y/n’s throat constrict, that hated feeling of pinpricks forming in her nose. In the past five months of her relationship with Trever, Mrs. Dwayne has been nothing short of a mother figure to Y/n. Teaching her to cook, to clean, showing her the basic skills of life without so much as a disgruntled look. She didn’t want to hurt her now.
“I-I will.. I mean I am… I just. I need to go get something for work, I mean. I’ll be back.” Before Mrs. Dwayne or Trever can say a word Y/n is bolting out the front door, towards her run down car, rage and devastation simmering in her chest so heavily she can’t think anymore. The need to be anywhere but here propelling the car into motion.
She wouldn’t break down here, not where anyone could find her, when she’s alone she’ll let the tears run freely and her sobs fill the empty space around her.
Present Day
The rest of Tuesday had crept by silently, nothing like the first half of the day. You had joined Aaron for dinner in the dining room, where he informed you he had a few conference calls to make in the morning and he would check on you when he was done. That was many hours ago.
You had been awake long before the sun rose behind charcoal clouds, listening to the rain pelt your window relentlessly. You sit propped against your pillows, lost in deep thought… shameful deep thoughts. Most of your night was spent tossing and turning, what little sleep you did get wasn’t filled with the usual empty darkness, or the occasional bad dream; instead Aaron had taken up every unconscious thought.
You had dreamt of his hands on your body, much like the day before, only this time there was even less in between his burning palms and your skin. You could feel the reverberation of unheard words from his chest into your back, his hands slipping up, up, up cupping your breasts through your bra. His hips ground against your back, the buckle of his belt biting into your skin as his erection pressed against the swell of your ass. Then his palm began to travel lower, straight to your-
You shake your head fiercely, before smothering yourself with a pillow, groaning loudly. You stay like that for a few long minutes, desperately trying to ignore the ache between your thighs until it becomes to much. Throwing the pillow across the room you climb out of bed and head straight for the bathroom, determined a scalding shower would set your mind right.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Steam billows out of the room after you, a scratchy towel wrapped tight around your body, another holding your hair in place atop your head. The skin along the tops of your shoulders and breasts glow pink, having used the hot water liberally. You make your way over to the bags you had placed on the floor last night, grabbing the closest one and rummaging through it.
Something smooth and soft slips against your hand and you grab it, pulling it free of the wadded up clothing. Realizing you should really organize everything before it all becomes a wrinkled mess. Dropping the bag you unfold a Champaign colored silk night gown. It’s simple, a trim of lace adorns the bodice and it reaches about the middle of your thighs, a small slit up both sides. You can’t remember Aaron ever placing it in the cart otherwise you’d of protested.
A large part of you doesn’t want to wear it, or any of the clothing for that matter. That part was called shame. Shame that he had so easily talked you into letting him buy you all of these clothes, better yet talked you into this whole mess in the first place.
But another part of you, the one that really did not want to wear the same sweats again for the 8th day in a row, won the battle. With a defeated sigh you change into the gown. It’s hugs your body, accentuate your curves and clinging to your damp skin. It’s soft, comfortable, and smells clean, that’s all that matters to you.
You grab your over night bag, pulling out your iPod and headphones before crawling back into bed. You set up your computer to finish working, before pressing play on the little pink device and popping in an ear bud. Your phone buzzes on the nightstand only once, but you ignore it, instead typing away on your computer.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Morning slowly rolls into lunch, a half eaten croissant sandwich lays on your nightstand as you dutifully work, bobbing your head in time to the music.
‘What’s in your head, in your head? Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie-ie, oh’
Something connects with your door, the sound reverberating through the room making you scream. You rip out your ear bud, holding your breath as a series of knocks rattle your door, making your stomach swoop and drop all at once. Slowly you move from your bed to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open a crack. Aaron’s usual hard stare greets you, but his cheeks are tinged red, his lips pressed into a thin line. A shudder wracks through your body at the intensity of his stare, your palms feeling clammy against the door handle.
“Um… hi?” He doesn’t say a word as he wraps a hand around the door, forcing it open and you out of his way as he barges inside. “Hey!”he stops in the middle of the room, one hand on his hip and the other rubs at his forehead. He’s dressed in a darker pair of blue jeans this time, paired with a black collard shirt, probably more appropriate for his conference calls.
“Does your phone not work, or have you just been-.” Aaron turns then and whatever annoyed tyrant he was about to go on dies on his tongue at the sight of you. You’re standing at the door, eyebrows raised and eyes a little wide in panic, but it’s not your expression that stops him. His eye dip to your body, noticing what you’re wearing and something in his stomach stirs at the sight. The dress is stretched around your body, specifically across your stomach, an indent where your belly button is. Your hips are accentuated and he realizes with a small thrill that the fabric is just barely see through as he gaze travels from your breasts to your face.
“Fuck.” He breaths out, and a shiver skirts down your spine at the rumble of his voice, blooming into something warm and fuzzy between your hips. Aaron slowly makes his way to you, and this time you stay rooted to the carpet, your chin lifting and the back of your head bumping against the door as he stops a few mere inches in front of you. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
Aaron reached up, dragging his knuckle across your spaghetti strap, brushing across your collarbone where it stops on the curve of your neck. He cups the side of your neck, half of his palm resting against your jaw as his thumb sweeps back and forth. That warm and fuzzy feeling has caught fire, burning with a demanding intensity that leaves you reeling.
“My… My phone?” You ask absently, anything to change the direction of what might happen, his dark eyes snap to yours and you wish you had never spoken, anger and lust swirl together in his irises, his pupils dilated.
“Your phone,” He repeats, head tilting slightly as if he couldn’t quite remember what he came here for. “Were you ignoring me?”
You shake your head, then rethink his question. “Well… no not outright. I was working and in my head space, I remember my phone going off a few times but I honestly didn’t think about it.”
Aaron can only find honesty in the doe eyed look you’re giving him. “That’s two, sweetheart. You need to be more attentive.” Your eyebrows furrow, your soft gaze shifting to something hard as you glare up at the older man.
“Be more attentive? If you really needed me you could of just called. I was busy doing work, I still am.” You snap, gesturing towards your bed. He keeps his hand firm on your neck as he turns, glancing at your open laptop and he can faintly hear your music playing. “And what do you mean by two? Why do you keep counting?”
His thumb presses against the bottom of your chin, tilting your head further back and the pressure makes you squirm. He turns back with a small smile, something impish laying behind it. Aaron ducks down closer and you go still, his breath fanning over your lips and you can smell the tingling scent of mint.
“I did. Twice in fact. I’m counting the amount of times you break your rules, how ever many that is will help us decide what your punishment will be.” Aaron watches the blush slowly form across your cheeks before it seeps down your neck underneath his hand. He would be a lier if he said the effect he was having on you didn’t go both ways.
“We didn’t agree on any punishments, and how can I break a rule I didn’t know about?” You utter, quietly, your eyes betraying you and dropping away from his stare. Aaron smirks, nodding as he smooths his hand down to your collarbone, feeling the wild thump of your heart through your skin.
“That’s why I’m here. We’re going to discuss everything. Over lunch.” He steps back leaving you glued to the door staring at him baffled. “What are you in the mood for? We’ll order something in instead of risking the weather.” And as if the sky could hear his wise judgment a roll of thunder shakes the building. You squeeze your eyes shut until the noise dies off and the only thing that can be heard is the rain splattering against the window once more.
Aaron watches you, gaining a new piece of information, before walking towards the nightstand where the muted green hotel phone lays. He notices your half eaten breakfast sandwich and mutters something you can’t quiet hear.
“Um.. pizza?”
“Pizza it is.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
Not long after a steaming pepperoni and sausage is sitting on your dresser. Aarons posted in the chair again and you’re perched on the foot of the bed, picking at the melted cheese glancing your boss’s way every now and again.
“You look like you have something you want to say.” Aaron says, taking a large bite of his slice. Your shoulder rises and falls, watching him openly now. He wipes his mouth with a napkin, leaning back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look so… human. This is the same man you’ve witnessed stand his ground against men ready to kill, talk down others who are ready to end it all; protect his team with a fierceness that goes unmatched by any other. It’s hard to think of him as anything else besides SSA Hotchner, but right here… is just Aaron.
“I don’t know… I guess I’m still trying to wrap my head around this.” You admit, biting into your lower lip. “Everything is just… it’s such a sudden change and hasn’t been easy to get use to.”
Aaron smile is pitying at best and you want to convince yourself you hate it. “I know baby. You’ll get there, though. We have the entire month to smooth everything out and come to understand each other better.” The loose use of different pet names makes your insides bubble with craved affection, shame tinting your skin. “Are you ready to talk?”
“I don’t really have a choice do I?”
“You do, at any point you can call it off, but you know exactly where that leads.” His tone is all to knowing of your decision and you huff, scrubbing your hands across your face. He takes your silence as reluctant agreeance, pulling out his phone. “Last night I came up with some rules, punishments and rewards that I think will suit you and I the best.” He taps away at his phone for a few seconds before continuing. “The first, simple, call me Aaron when it’s just the two of us. Second, don’t doubt me when I say I am buying you something or taking you somewhere. Money is not an issue. Third-.”
“Answer my phone at your beck and call?” The sarcastic question sort of fell from your lips, causing Aaron’s eyes to narrow as he sets his paper plate down on the pizza box.
“Third.” He emphasizes, drawing out the word. “Check in with me. I need to know you are okay, if you’ve made it where you are going, if there is anything you need. It’s important that you do so.”
“That’s going to be hard to do when we will be on cases and working.” You point out, picking apart your pizza and taking small bites of the greasy dough.
“That’s why all of these rules are moldable to how we live. Work is for work, but some things will still apply. Like making sure you are eating, drinking plenty of water, getting rest when you can. After hours, when it’s just us, I expect you to follow your rules completely.” He watches the way you pluck off the pepperonis, setting them off to the side. “Punishments won’t be a daily thing like it is with others. We can pick a day where we sit and go over everything you’ve done wrong for the week, then decide your punishment from there. I have a few ideas such as choosing your clothing for the week, have your write lines, have you kneel for an extended period of time.”
Your nose scrunches, the next thing your peeling from your pizza is the little balls of sausage. “That all sounds a bit childish.”
“You aren’t wrong. But you’d be surprised how childish a person can act when given rules.” You roll your eyes making him chuckle. “Just like that.” You shoot him a halfhearted glare that he returns with a smile. “But if you’ve been a brat all day, disobeying me and forgetting your rules multiple times, then I may need to resort to something a bit harsher. Putting you over my knee, bondage, collar.” He watches your face flush, eyes going wide like a full moon. “Even then. It’s more so about the embarrassment than it is ever about the pain. Some people find these things enjoyable.”
“You can’t be serious.”
Aaron’s smile takes on a more devious twist, letting his head rest against his fist as he props his arm on the chair. “Maybe you’ll just have to find out.”
You stare at him in shock, your half deconstructed pizza laying forgotten in your lap as your insides burn. Your mind betrays you, questions popping up like wildfires; what would it feel like? Would he leave marks on your skin? Would you enjoy it like he says?
Stammering you drop your gaze from his, his smile never fading as he searches the soft planes of your face, forcing himself not to look any lower than your exposed collarbones and the gentle slope of your shoulders. You set your plate to the side, crossing then uncrossing your legs, the bed creaking as you try to sort through your thoughts. “Can um… can I ask you something?”
“Always.”
“Does David know? And if so is there anyone else?”
Aaron nods, then quickly raises his hands at the look of panic crossing your features. “David is the only one who knows, and that’s not because I told him out right.” Your panic quickly melts into confusion. “David is the one who suggested I bring up a contract with you.”
Your jaw drops, absolutely flabbergasted. “Wait.. David’s… he’s into this?” Aaron nods again, letting you piece together what you will with that crumb of information. “Oh… so… that means the two do you were talking about me.”
Aaron laughs, a deep pleasant sound. “I promise, it wasn’t anything like you might think. We are just worried, and he thought it would be more appropriate coming from me than him.” Despite his humor you can feel panic rising steadily in your chest.
“Ho- Aaron what if someone finds out?”
“There isn’t any reason for anyone to know.”
The iron grip of your blooming panic wraps itself around your throat, your body humming with a desperate need to move and open your lungs. You stand from the bed and begin to pace the small area, passing Aaron with each turn on your heel.
“What if one of us slips up? The amount of trouble we could get into is-it’s astronomical. I’d be forced out of my job because I’m suddenly a woman who sleeps with their boss. You would be forced to resign but of course they’ll go easy on you-.”
“Honey-.”
“-Even if it doesn’t get to that point, the entire team will see me differently. They will question the authenticity of my role and my job. Oh God, and Morgan would be relentless with the teasing.”
“Y/n.”
“He still calls me señorita after I messed up my order at that Mexican restaurant a month ago! He’d never let us-.” Aaron leans forward, capturing your wrist as you walk by with a sharp tug. Pain laces up your already tense muscles and on instinct you turn, your hand lashing out and connecting with the side of Aaron’s face.
Everything goes silent, both of you stuck staring at the other in shock. “I-I’m… I didn’t mean-.” Aaron pulls you down and you clumsily fall into him, knee banging against the chair; your free hand landing on his shoulder. Aaron wraps a hand around the back of your neck, squeezing and before you can utter a word his lips crash into yours.
A muffled squeal escapes the back of your throat, squirming in his tight hold but it proves useless as his other hand drops your wrist, circling the back of your thigh and pulling you fully into his lap. Thighs caging his hips, chest pressed tight against his you squeeze your eyes shut. Aaron depends the kiss, moving his lips against yours allowing a few whimpering syllables to reach the air.
Your heart hammers painfully, your hands gripping at his shoulders but to your surprise you find your body relaxing. Every panicked thought is eclipsed by Aaron as his tongue slowly traces the seem of your lips, asking for entrance that you hesitantly give. But once you get your first taste of him you know you’re gone for, a soft moan rattles through your chest and Aaron devours it, licking into your mouth like a man starved.
His rough hand slips up your thigh, mindful to stay over your dress as it rides up, to cup your ass, squeezing the fat making your hips jump. The involuntary movement makes you grind down against him, pulling out another moan that is quickly followed by one of his own. He is all you can focus on, the fingers in your hair at the base of your skull, the growing bulge pressing into your heated core, the way the side of his nose bumps into yours. His thighs shift, sliding you further into his lap with a ragged groan.
Slowly, almost unwillingly you pull back, sucking in deep lungfuls of air. He gives you the silent moment you need, his fingers scratching your scalp slightly as you try to compose yourself atop him. He can’t stop the way his eyes roam to your lips though, the short taste of you forever imbedded in his brain.
When you finally let your eyes flutter open you meet his half lidded gaze, you lick your lips. “I-I need some time alone…”
*~*~*~*~*~*
Two hours later your phone buzzes on the nightstand, you glance at it from where you lay, curled up on your side in bed. Your fingers keep tracing your kiss swollen lips, unable to stop thinking about anything else. Grabbing your phone you roll onto your other side, opening your texts.
A new message from Aaron pops up, and your thumb hovers over the screen, your stomach churning with anticipation. Clicking the screen a long message pulls up.
‘Let me know what you want to change, my sweet girl.’
A smile tugs at your lips without your permission, cheeks reddening as you read over the list of rules, rewards, and punishments that follow. At the very end, boldened followed by a question mark is the word:
‘Spanking?’
You take a deep breath, sealing your fate with a few clicks of your keyboard.
Thank you all for the amount of love this has received 😭 I can’t wait to continue writing the rest of this story. Please comment below if you would like to be added to the tag list!
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melswifeasf · 6 months
Text
Was it ever real? pt. 2
part one.
Fandom: Yellowjackets
Pairing: Shauna Shipman x fem!reader
Genre: angst; smut; fluff.
Words: 8.2k+
Summary: part two of this imagine. your relationship with Shauna is all you could ever ask for but it’s starting to feel too good to be true.
Notes: sorry it took me forever to get this up, i was kinda lost on where i wanted to finish it but i hope you guys like what i chose. it feels a little rushed it’s because it was but i know you guys wanted this up so i tried my best.
not spell checked!
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you were completely and utterly in love with Shauna Shipman. that wasn't a surprise to anyone who knew you, especially not to those who had known you before and after you started dating the brunette. she had you in her hold and you weren't sure you could ever pull away. not only did you not think you were capable of it, even if you were, you wouldn't want to. it was as if your whole world had changed. in no way had you had a sad life before her but having her in your life now just made you realize the beige filter on your life before then.
being in love with her was the greatest feeling you could've ever experienced. you didn't think you could ever love and gone in that way. Shauna had made sure of that since your first date.
New years had been the day that you told her. you'd known before then, possibly since the moment you laid eyes on her but it wasn't until the clock was counting down and there were screams and teens talking around you that you couldn't hold it in anymore. you were both in Lotties basement, your friends all around you while almost everyone had on some kind of new year prop on them, including you who had a black sparkly hat and Shauna who had on a purple bead necklace. the cheap ones that you'd find at the dollar store. her hands were on your waist, holding your body that was clothed with a sparkly red dress. your hair was curled and you had on a pair of black heels that made you Shaunas height. the brunette had on a dress as well, one that Jackie had told her to wear. you thought about telling her to wear whatever made her comfortable but you knew she'd just go along with Jackie anyway.
the whole night you spent it by her side, her arm around your waist that would only leave its place when it absolutely had to but not a second later it would be back. by the time it was a minute away from midnight, you were a little drunk you could admit but you were sober enough to know exactly what you were doing. the brunette didn't drink, she had driven you both there and she would be driving you home. as soon as Randy announced there was one minute left, you turned to look at Shauna and wrapped you arms around her neck.
the minute was spent with your eyes locked on hers. they were sparkling with the blinking colorful lights around the room. there was a loud countdown that was drowned out. you couldn't hear the wasted voices or the screams from your friends. it was just Shauna with her shy smile. your girlfriend who had been devouring you with her eyes all night. your girlfriend who looked at you with so much adoration that could practically make your heart explode.
3... 2... 1...
i love you. the words had left your lips in a whisper. even with the screams and cheers she heard you, that you knew for a fact. she blushed red and you'd never forget the smile that overcame her lips. her lips crashed down on yours in that instant, pouring out her answer. her lips were fast yet soft, there was so much emotion that it made you dizzy and light headed. she had to grip your hip a bit tighter when she pulled away to make sure you wouldn't fall.
and so she whispered the words back to you.
the hallways were crowded with talking teens who were either hanging by their locker or walking out of the school. the bell had rung signaling the end of class. typically you'd walk to soccer practice hand in hand with your girlfriend but she was nowhere to be seen. Jackie had passed a note to you during English, it was from Shauna, you could tell by the handwriting.
meet me on the field after school
-Shauna<3
there was a sense of excitement bubbling inside of you. Shauna was sweet and loved to get you all kind of surprises. it seemed as if your words on your first date stuck with her since they were said. she'd get you flowers spontaneously, send you little notes during class or sometimes letters in your lockers. there was even a time during your period that she made you a basket of all your favorite candies and snacks and a teddy bear that smelled just like her. sometimes she'd even surprise you with dates, whether it was on a picnic or to a movie and dinner.
you were sure this would be something of the sort. what did weird you out was the fact that you hadn't seen any of your friends. usually if Shauna wasn't with you, they would be. you tried not to think about it too much as you walked toward the soccer field as fast as possible. it didn't take long for it to come into your sight. the sun was shinning brightly down on you so you had to squint and put your hand over them to block the sun. at first, you were too far away to see but slowly your eyes adjusted.
it was impossible to bite back the grin that broke out and the way a small gasp left your lips. once you saw your girlfriend looking at you with a shy smile and a poster in her hands, you practically ran to her. the rest of the team were around her, five of them holding up a sign with a huge letter scribbled on it.
P R O M ?
you didn't seem to be stopping as you ran to the brunette causing Shauna to drop her sign and flowers as she caught you in her arms. your feet were lifted off the ground as she caught you and spinner you slightly to catch her balance. you pulled away from her for a second to peck her lips repeatedly before you hugged her again. you could feel eyes on you which were no doubt from the rest of the soccer team which slowly made you realize that you had yet to give a verbal answer.
finally you pulled away from her and your feet landed on the grass. everyone was staring at you with a raised brow, complete silence overcoming the field. Shauna was still looking at you with that same shy smile causing yours to widen. you didn't give a verbal response at first as you picked her lips once, "yes!" you said before kissing her once more. the response causing the girls to begin to cheer loudly and soon after a hurdle of bodies tackled the two of you causing your teeth to clash and the kiss to stop.
it seemed as if the girls were more excited than both of you as they all began to cheer and jump as if they had just won nationals. when the girls had finally calmed down and gave you both space, Shauna bent down to grab the flowers and poster before she handed the lillie's to you and let you admire the poster better.
the record player in your room had a disc playing making the song echo throughout the room. the house was alone aside from you and your girlfriend. your parents had gone out of town for the weekend, initially it was supposed to be a family thing but it turned into a romantic getaway when you realized you could spend the weekend with your girlfriend instead of your disgustingly romantic parents. they didn't need that much convincing to let you stay which told you all you needed to know.
it was Saturday; Shauna and you had spent Friday at a party. Saturday morning was spent making breakfast - which was really lunch and watching movies. you were a bit hungover and neither of you felt like going anywhere. you wanted to take advantage of the empty house. your parents would always have you and Shauna in your living room and the one time she let her go in your room you had keep the door open. the only times Shauna could be in your room would be when you'd sneak her in but you had to be quiet otherwise your parents could hear considering their room was right beside yours. you knew for a fact, they'd be able to hear anything and everything. it was rather unfortunate how you had to find out of such thing.
once it started getting dark you ordered some food and spent some time talking about anything and everything. it was one of the things you loved about Shauna, she never ran out of things to talk about. it wasn't until about an hour after you ate dinner that the conversation turned into kissing. it was your plan to do so, while she ranted about her last game, you began to scoot closer and closer until your lips began to kiss her neck softly. she quickly got the hint after that.
it was how you landed in the position you were in now, her body on top of yours with her in between your legs. her lips were moving against yours hungrily. your knee was bent and she was running her palm up and down your thigh. every time she'd move her hand up, she'd move your shorts further up your body.
Shauna wasn't a virgin, she had told you that two months after you started dating. she had lost it during the summer before junior year. it was someone from another school, a jock, someone Jackie had introduced her to and practically pushed her into his arms. it wasn't horrible but if she could take it back she would. especially now. what she would give to share her first time with her girlfriend and not some douche who didn't bother to ask if she was okay when he finished.
the hand that wasn't on your thigh was cupping your jaw as she dominated the kiss. Shauna had never really been all that dominate throughout the relationship, most of the time you'd be the one leading her to where you want or telling her what you want but it was different then and there. she was the one caressing your skin without you moving her hand there, she was the one who laid you down and began to kiss you hungrily. it was obvious you were both impatient, having been together for almost six months without actually doing anything intimate.
Shauna was too shy to ever initiate it and you weren't exactly ready. although you never believed in the whole 'losing your virginity' hype, it still scared you. there were too many things to worried about and considering Shauna never pushed you, it just felt easier to wait.
you just couldn't wait any longer. the brunette moved her hand away from your jaw and moved it down your body until she reached the end of your shirt. she pulled away for a second, her eyes searching yours for some kind of consent. you smiled softly and nodded your head. that seemed to be enough for her as she leaned down to peck your lips before pulling away altogether. she began to pull the shirt over your head which made you sit up carefully. once it was off, she threw it on the floor beside her and leaned down to kiss you again.
this wasn't her first time seeing you in a bra, she had seen you changing in the locker rooms more than once but it was the first time you were both alone. Shauna bit your bottom lip softly causing a small noise to erupt from your throat. Shauna didn't make it obvious that she had heard you but she definitely had. you would've been able to tell by the smirk that flashed across her lips but you were distracted by the wet kisses that were being trailed down your neck. she was leaving marks, no doubt but you didn't care in that moment. your eyes were screwed shut as you tried not to make any embarrassing noises. the only reaction Shauna could feel from you was your hand gripping onto her hair tightly.
her lips didn't stop even when they were met with your bra. instead of waiting for her to ask for your permission, you arched your back and took the black laced bra off in a second. Shauna pulled away as you did so, her eyes not leaving yours until you threw the bra somewhere in the room. when it was off, her eyes trailed down your body until they reached your bare skin. you felt a sudden surge of shyness overcome you causing you to reach up and pull your girlfriend down by her neck. she didn't complain as her lips were back on yours.
as her wet lips moved against yours she reached down to take off her own shirt, she pulled away for a moment before leaning back down. you didn't have to open your eyes to know what her body looked like under the black shirt she was once wearing. her toned body was engraved into your memory. every time you made out, your hands would creep under her shirt to caress her toned stomach which you knew she loved. every little detail about her was in your head and you weren't sure it would ever leave.
the kissing alone was turning you on and you were growing impatient. you could feel the dampness in your underwear and a part of you wondered if she could feel you. that thought didn't linger though. sensing that Shauna wasn't sure enough to do so on her own, you grabbed her free hand and moved it down your stomach until it was inside of your shorts. she pulled away in that instant, her eyes searching yours carefully. the way she looked so concentrated and concerned made a small smile to form on your lips. you loved this about her. you just loved her.
her touch was a bit clumsy and you could practically feel her nerves radiating off her body. it made you frown, knowing neither of you were experienced and you knew all she wanted was to make you feel good. instead of voicing your reassurance, you searched for her eyes. once she finally locked eyes with you, a small smile formed on your lips and you leaned forward to kiss her softly. a whisper escaped your lips when you pulled away, "i love you."
your words were more than enough for her confidence to come back, "i love you too" she mumbled before leaning back down to kiss you passionately. with her lips on yours, you had almost forgotten her hand inside your shorts until she began to run her finger up and down your slit. you gasped softly at the touch, your back arching into her and your lips stopped moving against hers. she pulled away after that, her eyes showing nothing but concern, "are you okay? did i hurt you?" she asked worriedly.
you shook your head quickly, "keep going," you said and gripped the back of her neck tightly. she almost smiled at your reaction but held herself back. she began to grow more confident with every gasp and moan that rippled from your throat and when she felt you were wet enough, she pushed two fingers inside of you. the action caused you to pull away completely, a rather loud gasp leaving your lips. she froze instantly, her eyes searching yours to make sure you were okay. when you nodded at her, she took it as her hint to keep going. she moved in a slow pace at first, trying to get used to the feeling and listening to exactly what would make you react the most.
until you were growing far too needy, "faster," you whimpered, gripping at the back of her neck even tighter. she nodded and did as you said, her eyes trained on yours. as much as you tried to keep your eyes locked on hers, you couldn't control the way they snapped shut from the intensity of it.
she bit her lip as she thought of the advice Tai had given her. it was stupid, really. three months ago, while at a party Taissa made a sexual comment which made Shauna feel a bit intrigued. she had never been with a girl and neither had you meaning it was likely your first time would probably be a let down, something she didn't want. it made her seek advice from Tai, she was hesitant to do so, expecting the taller girl to laugh or tease but she didn't. in fact, she seemed like she genuinely wanted to help. maybe it was the fact that she had been in her same position before and she would've loved to have someone give her advice for her first time, she wasn't sure. but she did help Shauna and in this moment, she was racking back to all the points she had given her.
she had done pretty much everything, made sure you were turned on enough so it wouldn't hurt, went slow until you told her to speed up. the only thing she could think of were two things, hitting you at a certain angle which she can't quite find and another thing.
without a second though her fingers curled inside of you causing your eyes to open, "fuck," you moaned. she looked at you, waiting for your response. "keep doing that." you nodded making her chest swell with pride.
as she kept going, it began to grow harder for her to move in a steady pace. while she was thinking that she was hurting you, you began to feel a pressure in your lower abdomen that made your nails dig into the brunettes skin. you didn't have time to feel bad about it as a certain pump made your body climax. you moaned loudly, your back arching and your eyes practically rolling to the back of your head. Shaunas face flushed at the sight, her movements not stopping as she tried to help your ride out of the high you were feeling.
when you finally landed back on earth, you gasped at her movements, far too sensitive. she got the hint when you reached for her hand so she'd stop. you looked blissed out, your eyes closed and your face flushed, all of it making Shauna feel more than confident.
the brunette grabbed her shirt along with your own. she put hers on and set yours on the bed for when you felt like it. once her shirt was on her body she laid down on the bed beside you, her body turned on her side so she was facing you. it took you a minute before you grabbed your shirt and slipped it on, then you turned on your side like your girlfriend had done.
"was that okay?" she asked shyly. her words made a smile breakout on your face.
"are you kidding? that was amazing" you confessed lovingly. you moved closer to her and placed your hand on the girls cheek softly. she smiled at the action and let your lips press against her own. it was soft and loving until she felt your hand start to wander down her body. she quickly pulled away.
"tonight was about you," she said, her big brown eyes showing nothing but adoration. you frowned.
"you don't want to?"
Shauna shook her head quickly, "of course i do," she reassured and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "but i wanted tonight to be all about you." she admitted. you nodded with a small smile.
"okay," you whispered. the brunette hummed and pulled you into her chest. you could hear how fast her heart was beating and it made your own heart beat at the thought. you loved her. more than anything and you were afraid you'd lose her somehow. even the thought made your stomach turn. how could you live without her? without her kisses and her hugs, without her brown eyes looking at you across the room. without her shy smiles and hearing how much she loves you. how could you live without Shauna Shipman?
"i love you," you whispered into the room, hoping those words would have the same affect on her as they always did on you. they did. you didn't miss the way her heart beat loudly against her chest as soon as those words were said.
"i love you too" she responded. if only she could hear the affect those words had on your heart.
she didn't feel the same. if only you had known the truth then. you wouldn't have been relieved that you spoke so loudly and you most definitely wouldn't have accepted her request. after hearing your secret, Jackie wouldn't leave her alone. she kept going on and on about how you were pretty and kind to her and you would make a great couple but all Shauna could think about was Jackie and Jeff. she didn't want you. it didn't click to her, not on the drive home and not during the three hour long conversation Jackie had with her in which all she talked about was the double dated the four could go on and all of the things that came with her best friend having a girlfriend. it did once she was getting ready to fall asleep. having you could distract her and she wouldn't be the only single one. she wouldn't have to feel the longing of wanting to have what Jackie had with Jeff. she would finally feel what being with another person and not being a third wheel was. you seemed to really like her and that would make anyone feel better about themselves and she didn't want to take that for granted.
so the next morning when she picked up Jackie to go to school, she told her that she'd take her advice and ask you out.
what had you just read?
it was just a rundown of what was written in that book. you left out the part on how she thought you were spoiled and how you got around the school. you left out the part in which she just wanted to feel loved.
how stupid could you be? how stupid could you be to believe that she would love you back? that you were lucky enough to have admitted to liking someone and that person liking you back?
you always protected your feelings, or at least you tried to. how did it not click that it was too good to be true?
the pain was unbearable. you couldn't even begin to explain what it felt like, even if you tried. was this a heartbreak? it was. Shauna Shipman had managed to be your first love and your first heartbreak all in the matter of six months.
you hadn't meant to read it. you didn't even mean to have found it. it was the morning after and Shaunas parents wanted her home so you went with her. your parents wouldn't be home til late that night and you didn't want to be alone. she was in the shower when you found it. you weren't looking for it, you weren't planning on reading it and you felt wrong to it. you just couldn't explain the need to, you couldn't explain the feeling in your chest that you had to read it. in the end, you were right. there was a reason you felt that urge, a reason you felt in your chest. it was to protect you. to protect yourself from looking stupid for any longer.
when you began to read it, you felt wrong doing it. you felt dirty and like it was an invasion of privacy. that didn't last longer than a second. you didn't read anything before the day she said yes, not wanting to invade her privacy to that extant. you just had to know what she felt the day that she accepted your outing.
you deserved to know. you deserved to know that she didn't love you. that she only used you. that you were just a joke to her. you deserved to know that you have yourself to someone who didn't deserve it. that you had reserved yourself for so long just to fall into her trap. fuck her.
the door opened behind you but you didn't flinch. your eyes were trained on the book on the desk in front of you. you didn't even turn when she spoke. "my parents are on their way home, they said they want us to go to lunch with them but only if your comfortable. they can be a little overwhelming" she admitted with a small chuckle. her words didn't register, you didn't have the mind to think about the fact that her parents were actually trying with you after telling their daughter that they wanted her to date a guy. they were never disrespectful or all that homophobic but they did express the fact that they wanted their daughter to be with someone that wouldn't cause others to hate her. you should've listened to them.
Shaunas brows furrowed in slight confusion at your lack of words. her mouth opened to speak but it shut just as quickly when you turned around, her diary in your hand.
"what is this?" you asked, eerily calm. Shauna looked confused at first, her eyes moved away from you and to the book in an instant before she looked at you once more. there was panic in her eyes and you didn't miss the way they glanced at it twice more before she finally took a step toward you.
she didn't get far, just enough so that she wasn't across the room from you. "you read my journal?" she asked, both hurt and panic written all over her features.
you scoffed in disbelief. "what the fuck is this Shauna?" you pressed, not at all caring what she to say about you. it didn't matter that you fucked up by invading her privacy, not in that moment.
at your angry tone and the anger swirling in your eyes, her panic officially set in. she had to fix it. "just let me explain," she said quickly, taking a step toward you but you flinched causing her to freeze in her spot. she had fucked up majorly. she knew that. god did she know that. it didn't matter what she said or did, you wouldn't forgive her and she couldn't blame you.
"no." you said firmly while holding your hand up so she wouldn't come any closer to you. "tell me what the fuck this is." the words were stern and your tone was harsh. they left a heavy tension in the air and they cut deep into Shaunas heart. you'd never been like this. never with her. there were barely any arguments and when there were, they were small and were resolved usually in the same day. this wouldn't be the same.
Shaunas eyes began to water and it was taking everything in you to not match her emotions. it was taking everything in you to remain angry instead of broken, to show that you were pissed off and not that you were feeling the heaviest heartbreak you've ever felt in your existence. "please," she said desperately, holding her hands together in front of her in an almost begging manner. "i-" as she began to speak you cut her off.
"you what? you were so fucking jealous of your best friend you decided you'd settle for me?" you clapped back. you knew your words would hurt and you accomplished it. you knew Jackie was always Shaunas biggest insecurity and you promised yourself to never use it against her and yet here you were, doing just that.
Shauna ignored your harsh words "please just let me explain" she repeated, hoping that you would just listen.
"explain what?" you chuckled dryly, "explain the fact that you used me?"
Shauna shook her head quickly, "at first," she said making you shake your head angrily but she didn't stop there. she was panicking to finish what she had to say or you'd leave. she knew you'd leave. "not after i realized how much i actually liked you" she tried but instead of making you feel some type of love, it made you feel angrier.
"when did you know?"
"y/n" she begged but you didn't budge.
"when did you fucking know Shauna." you snapped. you needed to know when her feelings changed. when she thought you were enough for her to love, if she ever even did love you. you needed to know when it wasn't just about her needing a lover and instead needing you.
the brunettes eyes shifted away from you and to the ground for a split second. "on our first date"
her words somehow made you angrier, you couldn't explain it. "don't lie to me!"
"i'm not!"
it was silent. you tried to process her words. she knew on your first date meaning she had only initially wanted to use you. was she even being honest? or was she just saying that to try and soothe things over? did she love you or did she still want someone to warm her bed? and after the anger came sadness. she used you. the girl you were oh so in love with, used you. it was after that in which your tears couldn't be stopped. not even if you tried. when Shauna realized your teary eyes, her heart dropped. she did this.
you shook your head, "i don't believe you," you said, a tear rolling down your cheek making you wipe it away furiously.
it made Shauna speak faster than her brain could process. "that day was everything to me. you made me feel a way i never had before. every time you looked at me i could feel it in my stomach, every time you would tell me about a 'friend' i just wanted that to be me. i wanted it to be me in your life. that's why i kissed you." she explained, hoping you would believe her. wishing you could understand how much losing you was scaring her.
that wasn't enough. it could never be enough. her words couldn't fix the betrayal you felt. her words wouldn't take away the fact that she only went out with you because she was alone and you were you as she put it. "fuck you" you spat, angrily wiping away all of your tears.
Shauna shook her head "please" she begged once more. she took a step forward, not caring that you were stepping away. she didn't stop until you were pressed against her desk but she didn't reach out to touch you, not able to go that far.
"no Shauna." you said pushing at her chest "fuck you! it was always real to me! i didn't have to hear you talk about some friend to know i liked you. you know how much last night meant to me, how much i wanted it to be with someone that loved me as much i loved them." you cried, your voice breaking at the end. her own eyes began to water at the sight.
"but i do! i love you!" she exclaimed, desperation dripping in her voice.
it could've been enough. it should have. but it wasn't. it just wasn't. "no you don't! i didn't have to force myself to like you! i just did! i fucking love you and that's me! not some fucking way to make myself feel better for always being in my friends shadow." you shouted, the words hurt her. you knew that. you intended that. you wanted her to hurt just as much as she had hurt you.
"you don't mean that." she shook her head, her face contorted in pain.
"i fucking do. we're over. leave me alone and don't you dare try to contact me again." you grit out and pushed the brunette completely off of your body. Shauna caught herself on the bed and watched as your stormed out of her room with tears streaming down your face and a broken heart.
cries could be heard throughout the house. your sobs echoed and they left everyone in the room with a heavy heart. your parents weren't home yet, you were thankful for that. you weren't sure what you would do if they were. they loved Shauna and you didn't want to tell them that you were wrong about her, she wasn't the sweetest girl in the world. she didn't deserve your love and you in fact couldn't be with her forever. what a funny thing. how funny of you to ever have thought that you could be with her forever.
"y/n/n" Lottie mumbled softly, her hand caressing your back in soothing circles. you couldn't feel it though, you couldn't feel anything but the pain in your chest.
"it's hurts so much" you cried into Lotties chest. your hand was clutching your shirt and your face was blotched and puffy by now. Taissa, on the other hand, was pissed. as soon as she heard Lottie tell her what happened, she threatened to go beat Shauna up but Lottie knew that was the last thing you wanted. Van was there too, on your  right with her hand on your shoulder to show you that she was there.
"i know." Lottie whispered softly. she didn't know. she didn't know what it was like to love someone that much. you were so in love that truthfully, no one believed that type of love even existed.
it did. to you.
Van looked at her girlfriend with a glare making the brunettes eyebrows furrow. the ginger girl rolled her eyes before motioning to you with her head. it was then that she understood what she meant. the brunette sighed softly and finally turned toward you. she took a step forward and bent down on one knee, her hands reaching for yours to get your attention. your red eyes turned toward her in slight confusion.
"she's not worth it, y/n" she said softly, expecting her words to bring you comfort but instead they made you cry harder and Lottie reached over to hit her arm with 'what the fuck' look. Taissa shrugged her shoulder holding her hands in confusion making Lottie shake her head. they seemed to have a silent conversation that was too loud and it was as if you could hear them.
"i love her" you cried, "she's my everything. she's literally the air i need to live and i feel like i'm dying," you continued. Taissa looked stunned by your words. her words weren't enough. nothing she could say would change your broken heart.
she nodded her head, "okay" she said lowly and stood up. you looked a little confused until you felt her pull you into her body into a tight hug. "im here. we're all here." she reassured.
but she wasn't here, and that's all you really wanted.
the change was hard. going from being with someone for six months straight and seeing them almost every day in those six months to avoiding her as much as you could was a lot. all you did was avoid her. you had classes together and in those classes you switched seats with whoever you were friends with in that class. you went from being lectured by your teacher in those classes for talking and laughing to being completely silent and paying attention to the class. your group of friends, or at least your old friends began to hang out with you again. even Mason began to talk to you again, thinking that in some magical way you were sad enough to rely on him. that would never happen.
you walked the halls with most of the cheer girls and some of the jocks, you went back to sitting with those friends at lunch too. you didn't have Shaunas hand to hold and she didn't hold your backpack and books as she walked you to your next class. everyday at lunch you watched the table you would sit at with Shauna. most of the time you would sit with Lottie, Taissa and Van but sometimes you would sit alone. those times, you spent it giggling and gushing with the girl, everyone else just disappeared.
Shauna didn't like your old friends and after sitting at the table just once she told you that she felt uncomfortable which started the day in which you avoided them as much as you could. you did everything for her. what a joke.
soccer was over so you didn't have to deal with seeing her everyday in the locker room or at practice. she had tried talking to you a couple of times but each and every time you would have a friend, whether they were the 'popular' ones who talked to you so you could ignore her or the three musketeers who would glare at her. there was an instance in which Taissa got a little too aggressive which just angered you. it was between you and Shauna and you didn't need anyone fighting your fights.
spending weekends with your girlfriend went to partying with your friends and crying in your room. your parents had noticed, it was impossible for them not to have noticed. the breakup hit you hard in more than one way and they were the first to notice. you barely ate, you were either never home and if you were, you'd spend it listening to music and crying your eyes out.
and just like that, a month had passed and it was prom. what was supposed to be a magical day with your girlfriend turned into going alone with people who didn't even know you. not really.
for what it was worth, Shauna didn't give up with a lack of trying. she'd buy you flowers and leave them on your locker or doorstep. she'd write you letters or notes but you never had it in you to read them. you just couldn't. nothing she could say could take away the embarrassment and humiliation you felt every time you thought about it.
the dress you had chosen for the night was black and long. it was tight against your body and it had a slit running up your left leg. your hair was curled and your makeup was light. you had arrived in a limo with your friends. you wanted to ride with Lottie but they had been so annoying that you couldn't say no. it's not like Lottie minded, Van and Taissa were going with her anyway.
unfortunately, you didn't take into account that Mason would be going with you and god did he not take no for an answer. he wasn't too touchy, he'd just put his arm around you or call you beautiful far too many times. not to mention the fact that all he did was talk about how you were single now and so was he. why couldn't he take the hint? you weren't interested in him or anyone else for that matter. you loved Shauna and you weren't sure if that would ever change.
at some point you detached from the group and went to your other friends, who were all more than happy to see you. originally, you didn't want to go, not without the girl that you loved but they had been the ones to convince you to go. there was no point in mourning alone when you could be doing it with your friends, maybe even getting drunk. that sounded amazing. getting drunk and forgetting about everything you had gone through.
until your eyes landed on her. until you saw the girl of your dream standing across the room from you in her beautiful dress. it was dark green and long and it outlined all of her curves. she looked perfect. in they eyes of a goddess, she was perfect. every inch, every little part about her would put angels to shame. and when you saw her, it was as if the air had been knocked out of your body. it was as if you had been smacked in the back and you had to recover from such a harsh blow. the brunette was beside Jackie and Jeff who were too engrossed with each other to even look at her. until her eyes finally found yours.
it was the first time she had seen you that night and it showed. in the way her face turned red and the way her eyes widened and they raked down your body over and over again. you were beautiful in her eyes and the sad part was, you believed that. even though you wished you didn't, you knew she loved you in the end. it was impossible to fake something to that extent. but it didn't change the fact that she only saw you as a tool in her plot at the beginning, it didn't change the fact that you weren't sure you could ever trust her again.
as much as you felt love, you felt heartbreak and watching the way she looked at you with nothing but love, just broke you even more. instantly your eyes looked away from the brunette and you tried to focus on whatever it was Taissa and Lottie were talking about.
but even then you could feel the way your heart was constructing against your chest, the way your breathing was growing labored and the way all of your muscles tensed. it was too much. you couldn't be there, it didn't matter what your friends had said over and over again, you couldn't be in the same room as her and not feel how much love you have for her.
"im gonna get some air" you rushed out as quickly as you possible could before turning your body and leaving before anyone could stop you. Taissa and Lottie were about to chase you but they were stopped by Van who saw the way Shauna had started to rush out the door the second you looked away.
"Van-" Taissa snapped, about go off on her girlfriend for stopping her but the ginger girl shook her head.
"let them. they have to talk about it" she said.
Lottie sighed heavily, "she's right."
by the time you made it passed the doors, Shauna was hot on your heel. "y/n!" she said loudly, trying to get your attention.
all you could do was shake your head. "no." you said, tears already building and making your eyesight blurry. you couldn't do this.
"please." the brunette begged, you could hear the desperation in her voice but you couldn't. you just couldn't. your body turned and you were met with an equally upset Shauna.
"i can't." you shook your head. "i can't, Shauna" you replied with a trembling jaw. she looked like she wanted to take a step forward but she stopped herself from doing so, afraid you'd run away.
"im sorry. please know i'm sorry." she begged.
her words didn't help, in fact they only made your pain worsen. "how am i supposed to forgive you? how am i supposed to ever trust you again?" you cried, throwing your hands up in frustration.
Shauna shook her head. "i'll do anything. you know i will. just tell me what i can do to make this better." she cried. could she make this better? could anything in the world fix the humiliation you felt when you read that book?
you weren't sure anymore but you didn't have to think about it because you were being saved by an unlikely hero.
the black beat up car rolled up beside you and the passenger door window opened to reveal a blonde with smudged liner and an unlit cigarette in her hand. "everything good?" she asked, her eyes darting between each girl.
"can you take me home?" you rushed out before Shauna could answer for you. the blonde looked a bit surprised at first, you two weren't exactly friends.
"uh.." she trailed off about to say no but when she saw how desperate you were, she sighed. "get in." she said motioning to the back door. you didn't have to be told twice.
as soon as you stepped inside your bedroom door, you took off your dress and threw your body onto the bed. you were drained, emotionally, mentally and physically. you knew going was a bad idea but you let yourself be swayed by the three people who convinced you to go to school that day. maybe if you would have said no, Shauna wouldn't have the opportunity to ask you out. maybe she would've backed down. maybe your heart wouldn't be torn in two.
of course, your conversation in the parking lot wasn't enough for the brunette. she couldn't let you go. not then and not ever. she loved you too much and she knew you loved her too. she'd never experienced such a feeling and she was sure she'd never be able to again.
so she did exactly what you told her during your first date. did the only thing that could maybe make you realize she did love you. that she made a mistake and that everyday from the day she wrote that stupid entry, she wished she could take it back.
the song was low at first, just a soft humming that could be confused with a car driving past with loud music. until the song grew louder to the point in which it caught your attention. it was close to your house. your brows furrowed and you slowly lifted your face that was buried deep into the pillow. your makeup was smudged and you could feel the stickiness of your mascara along with tears on your face.
considering how you looked, you wanted to ignore it but it was getting hard to the longer they stayed. it was someone who obviously wanted someone’s attention, you just weren’t who yet. with an eye roll, you got up from your bed and went to your mirror first so you could wipe away the smudged mascara and wipe away the still wet tears that were falling. when you thought you looked okay or at least not completely and utterly broken, you went to your window and pulled back the curtains.
the sight before you was something you most definitely weren’t expecting. anything but that. maybe some annoying kids playing music too loud or a neighbor with their radio on but never would you have imagined to see your ex girlfriend standing in your front lawn with a boombox above her head. anything but that.
suddenly nothing mattered and suddenly she hadn’t broken your heart. she wasn’t Shauna Shipman, the ex that had completely destroyed you and any chance at wanting to fall in love. she wasn’t the one who wrote those things in her diary but instead the one who kissed you in her car. the one who would hold your hand in class when you’d get anxious, the one who’d stay sober when you’d drink, who would let you fall asleep first so you didn’t feel alone, the one who would let you put your legs under hers even though she hated it. the Shauna that you fell so utterly in love with.
without a chance to second guess yourself, you turned away from the window and ran out of your room. your hurried footsteps echoed throughout the house making your dad ask what the commotion was about. you didn’t even think to answer as you reached the front door and whirled it open making a gush of wind enter the house. it didn’t matter that you were shoeless and that you were letting her in again. it didn’t matter because she was Shauna, your Shauna.
the brunettes eyes widened when she saw you rush out of the house and she quickly dropped the boombox as you ran toward her. it was like deja vu as she caught you in her arms. you did the thing you had been wanting to do since you broke up, the thing you dreamed of. your lips crashed down on hers in a passionate, love filled kiss.
it dripped with emotion, with sadness, ache, longing but overall love and adoration. each of you loved each other so passionately that you couldn’t stay away. not for a moment longer. it was easy to say you’d never let her in again but seeing her there, doing the thing you told her you’d always wanted, you couldn’t resist. this was Shauna, even if she was also the one who wrote those things in her journal, it didn’t change the fact that you fell in love. it just didn’t.
tears began to fall once more causing you to pull away. Shauna had a matching expression and you could feel those tears on your lips. “im sorry.” she said quickly. “im so sorry, i never meant to hurt you and i promise i’ll never do it again. i promise-”
you shook your head and leaned down to kiss her gently. when you pulled away, the brunette finally set you down on the ground and you took advantage of it to wipe away her tears with your thumb. both of your hands were holding her face gently. “i know. i know you are and i know it won’t be easy to get over it but i want to try. i want to try for us.” because losing her hurt way more than loving her and you couldn’t put yourself through that any longer.
you couldn’t explain it and maybe a lot of people wouldn’t understand it, including your friends but it didn’t matter. Shauna Shipman was a good person, a good girlfriend and someone worthy of love and forgiveness. you just couldn’t bring yourself to stay away from her any longer. not now and scarily enough, maybe not ever.
“i promise you everything i’ve said is real. i promise my love for you is real. it was always real.” Shauna said, her eyes still watering. neither of you knew if it was from sadness or love or maybe both. maybe it was sadness you felt of being away from the person you loved so much.
your lips quirked into a gentle smile at her words, “i love you.” you said softly. Shaunas lips matched yours and you felt the way she pulled you into her by your waist, this time not waiting for you to initiate it.
“i love you so much more.” she responded before you felt a pair of soft lips come crashing down on your own.
you’d be okay.
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