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#first I was looking up art then it was like ‘are you bisexual’ I was like ‘yeah I think so’ then it took me into a crisis
azulity · 6 months
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Seeing some of my old Yang/Neptune art get reblogged and commented on so fondly and honestly it warms my heart 🥰
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simpjaes · 15 days
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ONE OF THE DAMNED GIRLS PT.1 (P.SH)
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Moving to a city with wild nights and charming days felt like the perfect choice in your head upon finishing college. Hours away from home, you accept a job at a local museum ironically placed dead between a large historic cathedral and a booming gothic nightclub. You were meant to curate the art, not be curated yourself by a local priest who found you with buckled knees outside of said goth club. ― part two here!! | MINORS DNI
PAIRING ― vampire park sunghoon x afab reader  
WORDCOUNT ― 20.4k
CONTENT ―  modern vampire sunghoon, cathedral/chapel settings, blasphemous behavior, false holy facades, the main vampire trope i use is the act of drinking blood, luring, and living forever, heavy manipulation and toxic behaviors, mentions of reader being alt/goth
SIDE CHARACTERS―  jungwon as your very very best friend who has an installation at the museum (you guys are attached at the hip), jay as the hot bisexual bartender at the goth club, some goth guy named balor 
!WARNINGS! ― dubious consent (due to the act of mind manipulation), hunting and playing victim, a lot of blood: blood sucking, wounds/puncturing, menstruation in a sexual light, manipulation, near-death experiences, fainting, talk of death, acts of mind control/luring 
NOTE ― here is part one of the first vampire fic i've ever felt compelled to write in my life. shout out to me, myself, and i for being entirely deranged and coming up with on a whim based on a song a lovely anon sent to me. this is semi-proof read, and does require two parts to get the full story.
tags under cut
smut tags [ these tags refer to both parts of the fic] ― big meat sunghoon, biting, A LOT OF BLOOD, sucking and drinking of blood obv, pussy eating (once while reader is menstruating, and another time where she isn’t), deep penetration, rough sex, unprotected sex bc like…he’s dead so lmfao, missionary, scratching, dirty talk, body worship, praise, jungwon is involved in a bit of an erotic situation but there is not smut involving him, 
other tags [ these tags refer to both parts of the fic]― depictions of death, anti-religious language, the act of dying including intense descriptions of the feeling, mentions of pimping and human trafficking, corrupt government, dead nuns, funerals
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Upon moving to this city, all you have in your mind is the future. Of what could possibly come of you here? The museum is truly beautiful, propped in the center of the historic district, a mere ten or so blocks from your newly renovated apartment. 
Years worth of study has led you here and honestly you’re sure you never would have found this city as lovable as it is if it weren’t for those credit hours you poured into art history and architecture. Truly, you feel at home here. Especially working within the historic district at that beautiful museum. 
The rest of the city is quite modern. A bit boring to look at if you’re being honest but, thankfully, your place of work offers much for the eye to devour. The museum itself is quite victorian, with rococo styling throughout. Many could call this an eye sore, but you find yourself loving every inch of the place. You feel like a willow wisp in the clutches of that museum, and honestly you’re more than excited to grow bored of seeing such beauty on a day to day basis. 
Across the street sits another old building, also victorian in style. The large and tacky sign glowing with neon lights that reads “AFTER LIFE” goes to show that it’s very clearly a club. And the attire of those who go to and fro through the doors only further proves that it’s more than just that. It’s a goth club. 
Which, arguably, high-school you would’ve died to be able to attend. Thankfully, that little goth girl inside of you still lives strong and surely the club will be a place you’ll frequent during your free time. It’s not too hard to dress the part considering you are an art loser. The majority of your clothing consists of black, colored hair, and wild make up anyway. All you gotta do is forego the ratty coveralls or the typical business quirky you go for at work and you’re good to go. 
Last but not least regarding the charm of the historic district, your favorite site. One that is so profound to you and likely everyone else who visits this town mostly because, well, there isn’t much mention of it on any website regarding the city. In fact, you weren’t aware that such a place existed here until the day you came to view your apartment for the first time. 
Seeing it loom from the apartment window very nearly had you sign the lease without so much as looking at the cabinet space or the bathroom setup. 
No, nothing in that historic district, absolutely nothing in this city, rivals that of the cathedral that towers above both the club and museum. 
There, parked just three blocks down from your place of work, sits the cathedral. Clearly old but well maintained, you can just tell that the building has seen more than enough through the passing decades. The arches are pointed and towering, and the flying buttresses only further your heart to beat with love and admiration for what men could build at one point in time. 
You’ll never understand why the preferred style these days consists of primary shapes, anyway. Boxes, cones, spheres. Never twisting hallways or nooks and crannies to hide in. You miss the depth of which buildings used to be. Inside practically a maze, outside a wondrous presentation of knife-sharp features. So intricate, so many lines to trace.
What a shame to find yourself living in a space that’s a mish-mash of perfect boxes, but it’s not so bad when the window offers a daydream, at least. 
You’re in love each time you gaze upon the building, actually. It’s a forever reminder that no human being on this earth could make you feel such excitement. Perhaps you’re just a nerd for gothic architecture though. Honestly, it’s a shame that this cathedral seems to be a forgotten gem despite how it’s blatantly visible at almost any view point in the city. 
Fortunately for you, this only goes to show that the historic district is just that. There for those who admire, and not for those who gawk. There seems to be rarely any stray humans making their way down this street without at least an inkling of interest in the ancient life that’s been breathed here. 
If anything, the streets are filled with what you can assume to be open-minded individuals. Your first day at work showed that much. Tattooed bodies, pierced faces, wild hair, even wilder attire. Yes, you feel right at home. 
And despite the excitement of living in a new city where you seem to fit like a puzzle piece, life can still grow boring after a certain amount of time has passed. For you, it’s taken about three weeks of training, well-slept nights, and cozy days. 
Even through the summer, the nights still have a chill in the air. Which is nice but even your night-time walks have become an auto-pilot task that offers nothing new to your forever hungry brain. So, with the weekend fast approaching, you figure there’s no better time than now to dust off those hot platform boots you bought on a whim years ago and have yet to wear. 
You’re going to the booming “after life”. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Well.
“After life” is certainly a perfect name for the club if the intensity of the drinks alone is anything to go by. Inside is adorned with stark black walls and silver trim, loads upon loads of purple and red curtains, women and men near-nude wrapped in straps and chains. 
It only took two drinks to see the black painted walls as a beautiful void in space with wonderful dancing bodies falling into it. You can’t stop smiling through the warmth in your cheeks and dancing to deep bass with husky voiced music. Your arms stay in the air as you dance, and you welcome any dancing partner up until your third drink. 
God, the drinks are strong. Or perhaps it’s just the specific drink you’ve grown partial to. One they call “Red Death”, which according to the handsome bartender, was quite popular in the 90s. You see exactly why it was so popular, considering it basically hit you like a fucking truck in the middle of this club and has you stumbling out the front door without so much as remembering why your feet are moving in the first place. 
Unsure of how much time has passed since you got here, you nearly forget the extra five inches under your feet as you stumble your way through the heavy doors in front of the club. A kind bouncer with the whites of his eyes tattooed helps you with your balance as you step out, chuckling and noting that you’re definitely new here.
His strong hold on you is kind and gentle compared to the bouncers outside of the clubs back home, and despite how drunk you are, you still feel as safe as you do inside of your own apartment when he gives you a small “woah there.”
Thankfully, he keeps to himself after helping you regain balance, once again unlike most bouncers at clubs. You’re left to your own drunken plans now as you wobble around the building in search of a bench to sit on and sober up. Thankfully, that very bench is found sitting lonely on the backside of the building. You can still hear the muffled music from inside, but you’re currently spinning and able to hear just about anything, you think. 
You hear your ass thump to the ground when you try to take a seat, missing the bench completely and falling a full two feet with your head hitting the bricked wall behind you. 
Honestly, all you can do is laugh at yourself as you hold your head. The fall didn’t hurt, and thank fuck no one is around to have witnessed that from you. To think your senses are enhanced at this moment is quite a feat, considering you were so focused on hearing everything that you completely forgot to determine which of the two benches in your drunken vision was the real one.
And as you accept your seat on the ground as the space you’ll sober up in, your senses prove yet again to at least be slightly more amplified than usual. 
A heavy scent of cinnamon wafts through your nose as you breathe in the brisk summer air and immediately you try to adjust your eyes to whatever the scent is coming from. Or, whoever.
Then, a cold hand on your shoulder. You didn’t even see him before smelling or feeling him, but somehow, your vision adjusts immediately as if you’re not drunk at all.
In fact, looking at the man is entirely sobering. 
“Child, temptation has you by the throat.”
“I’m no child.” You scoff at the voice reaching your ears, frustrated as you try to chase the fizzling drunk feeling. A waste of money, you could say, to lose the dizzy feeling so fucking fast. 
The man stands in front of you, clad in black, offering a gentle smile. 
You can imagine you look a mess, sitting on the ground outside of a night club, but that should be expected you’d think. 
“It’s a figure of speech.” The man shrugs with a chuckle. “Now, now. Allow me to help you, my dear, you are in no shape to be left to your own devices.”
You look up at him, noting that the man appears to be a priest. What kind of priest wanders around goth clubs this time of the night? 
Then again, you don’t even know what time it is. What you do know is that you’re nearly entirely sober now for some fucking reason, and you absolutely can be left to your own devices. 
“No, I’m fine. I don’t live too far.” You shake your head at him, but he pulls you up anyway. 
Oh, a rush of woozy nausea. Your ankles buckle immediately upon trying to stand and the man simply keeps his smile aimed at you. 
“My conscience will not allow me to leave you be.” He says, taking your arm and leading you further down the street.
You’re unsure as to why you don’t fight him on it now. There’s a feeling in your body that tells you to go with him, and who are you to fight it? 
Strangely enough, your eyes sparkle as he leads you straight to that very cathedral that floods your thoughts on most weekdays during work. So big, so beautiful, so otherworldly to see so closely. 
You stare up at the towering building even as he helps you through the doors, and then your eyes immediately adjust to the vaulted ceilings and darkened stained glass windows with only the moonlight shining through. 
God, it’s more beautiful inside. 
You’re entirely mesmerized by the building, blinking up at every inch of the walls and ceiling. It’s pristine inside compared to the outside, and the floors shine so beautifully even in the low-light. Your boots stomp with each step against the well-maintained floors, to the point you can feel the vibrations running from your toes to the top of your head. 
You can feel your skin tighten at the viewing experience, every hair on your body raising in euphoria, pupils growing wide and dark. You smile, feeling your face flush as if you’ve got a man between your legs. There is no man though though, no. Just big arches and echoed footsteps.
It’s simply too beautiful to comprehend with a semi-drunken brain for the first time. 
The man saunters through the building with you in tow a bit too quickly than you’d prefer though. You try to soak in the image of the main chapel before he leads you away from it, and thankfully you caught a decent look at the gold and silver adornments surrounding a centered altar. The figure within the altar didn’t quite get more than a glance, but you could have sworn it was no religious figure that you know the name of. 
And then, within three blinks, you’re in a corridor where whispering nuns look on. Their voices sound high-pitched even in a whisper but it slows your heart rate down to that of near sleep. Drowsiness overtakes you as you blink out of sync, barely able to comprehend that you should be at home rather than in this wondrous and magnificent building with a strange priest. 
Still, even as the corridor grows less and less extravagant, where the stomping of your boots on the floor turns to that of breaking up dust and weighing down creaking wood, you find it all the more beautiful behind your heavy-lidded eyes.
The deeper into the cathedral you go, the older it becomes. Where electricity turns to candles, and then candles turn to pure moonlight shining through stained glass windows. 
Even up the spiraling concrete stairs, you feel your feet carry you more than the priest with his back turned to you. He wouldn’t need to lead you through this building at all, as the feeling in your gut would likely have you explore the place inch by inch if you were given the permission. 
Still, even while your mind is sober but your body is drunk, you find it hard to believe that people still reside here. Never once seeing anyone come from the cathedral since being in this city. And trust, you have honestly stared at it day after day during work. 
That means nothing to you now though, considering you’re inside the building, being led to a small room for sleep where your sleepy eyes devour the small bed against the wall.
The man who led you here lends no more words or thoughts to you as he steps inside, presents the room to you, and then quickly leaves with that same smile he gave you outside of the club. 
A nun replaces him with light and silent footsteps, running past you to fluff the flattened pillow on the bed. Another came in behind her with a small bowl of crackers and a glass of water. She holds out the bowl and glass, urging you to take them from her. 
Naturally, you do. Popping a cracker into your mouth and instantly feeling it soak up any saliva in your mouth, leaving it feeling dry and sore before you sip the water. And with a nod from the two nuns, they leave you be. 
This room appears to be that for refuge, surely for those the church takes in when they’re in need of a warm bed and some food. 
You smile, saying nothing as you sit down on the bed and place the glass and bowl on the small ledge by the window. There, you take off your boots and flop back without so much as sinking under the thin covers, and you fall asleep as if there’s nowhere else on this earth you’d rather be. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The sun feels warm against your face when you stir from your slumber. Your eyes feel heavy though, so you simply lay here and breathe in the strange heavy air. Your eyebrows furrow at the feeling of the bed beneath you. Stiff, hard, uncomfortable. Clearly, you’re not at home. 
And, well, that’s when the happenings of last night dawn on you. You can barely comprehend what the helpful priest looked like, better yet how long it took for your feet to carry you to this room.
When you open your eyes and squint to look out of the stained window, most of the city is distorted through the tinted colors, but you can tell that you’re quite high up in the building. Then again, the throbbing in your feet could have probably told you that. 
Still, sitting in this bed now feels much more uncomfortable than it did when you initially laid down. Your head pounds as you pinch the bridge of your nose, squinting around the room and trying to grasp your memory. 
The only thing you remember is the cold hand that guided you here and every beautiful inch of the cathedral. Which can only mean, you have no fucking idea how to get out of here.
Oh, the horror and embarrassment of needing to search for someone to help you leave feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Surely, if you’re silent with your feet, you can search the halls until you manage to find a back door, right? At least the route would be scenic and interesting if you can manage it.
And, well, you do try. Searching for a staircase the moment you leave your room simply because you know that the only way home is down at least a hundred steps. Strangely enough, your instincts seem to know exactly where to go. 
Somehow.
Your socked feet carry you straight downstairs and to the main cathedral. You weren’t necessarily expecting to find a room full of people upon entering the space either. After all, if it were Sunday perhaps you’d have to drag your hungover ass past a crowd participating in Sunday mass. 
Despite never seeing a soul enter this cathedral save for yourself and that priest. 
Weird, there are a few people with bowed heads sitting in the pews of the main chapel. All appear to be clad in black and gold, one or two others with silver. Not entirely cloaked but still incredibly eerie from behind as you look on with each silent foot step. 
And suddenly, your body freezes. 
There, at the center of the altar stands a stoic man. Posture so straight you could argue he is nothing but an ancient statue. Behind him, you note that there is an actual statue of a figure standing much the same, far too distant to make out the face of. 
Only for a moment do you recall glancing at the statue from the night before, noting how it resembled no god nor deity that you’re aware of. It doesn’t even resemble a human the longer you stare at it, actually.
Ah. Yes. The vibes in this cathedral are off. From your feet somehow knowing the place as if it’s your own home to the silent chapel bowing their heads to an even more silent man standing frozen in the center. If at all, you feel like you’ve been caught in a photo, stuck with your feet on this single tile with the front doors just out of your reach. 
That is, until one of those whispering nuns makes her way to you, tapping your shoulder with a nod and a very quiet, “Shall I see you out?” 
And she does, opening the large doors for you and closing them behind you without so much as a sound. 
Strange, because you remember the echo of those doors closing from the night before. But whatever, you guess, as you’re assaulted with the bright afternoon sun forcing your eyes to tear up. 
You take a step through the flash-bang of summer air, slowly adjusting your eyesight to the very museum you work at. Bustling with your co-workers who are made to work this weekend, you try to avoid being seen. After all, as a new employee, the last thing you need is to be perceived as a hungover mess while walking out of that weird fucking cathedral with nothing more than socked feet and a pair of stompers held against your chest.
And so, you make the short trek home, thankful for the walkable city but entirely unthankful for the charming weather your realtor promised for this time of the year. It’s fresher than you’d like for it to be outside today, the warm sun keeping you at a perfect temperature while the cold breeze offers a shiver here and there. 
You’re not sure why it pisses you off. It’s probably the headache that only pounds harder and harder with each step you take. 
Finally, you make it to your apartment. You feel cold when you step inside the lobby and make your way up. Somehow you feel even colder when find yourself at the window, gazing at the same cathedral you just spent the night in, looking hazy in the afternoon sun. 
It looms there in the city, with its elder rooted walls and pointed arches. Still so beautiful, still so mysterious, still so fucking luring. 
Even after sleeping there, and even after you felt the vibrations inside skew your comfort, it stands out not only in the city, but in your brain. With the modern city only forcing it to stick out like a sore thumb, you can argue that the city could be just as old and still that cathedral would offer a shiver down your spine. 
Your head pulses at the sunlight shining through your window, forcing your eyes from the darkened haunt, and you’re quick to make your way to the kitchen to rummage for something to help with the headache. 
And by the time you flop down on your couch, you drift back to sleep, realizing that you’re not entirely sure if you slept at all the night before. Despite waking up, despite not remembering a thing from after you laid down, and despite feeling rejuvenated in every aspect aside from sleep. 
That rejuvenation strangely drains you more as you drift to sleep, finding it so unnatural that you willingly slept in a maze filled with no face you can put a name to.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Making your first friend feels good. Weeks worth of pretending and hoping you and your co-workers would somehow become besties outside of the museum walls fell short, after all. Not that you don’t consider them friends, it’s more so just the fact that they’re all a bit too stoic and up-tight for you. 
You’re quite a bit younger as well. You can tell that they lost their spark for creating art years ago, if they ever even created it in the first place, anyway. It’s all just curating, curating, curating for them. An eye for beauty only, which is respected and appreciated but still, no eye for fun outside of these walls though. 
That’s where Jungwon comes in. A young artist with first-installation jitters dimpling his cheeks as he offers the smallest “hello” that you think you’ve ever heard from another person. 
He’s similar to you in the way he dresses. He works hard, amazing you with each piece of his collection that’s pulled from a tightly packed box, filled with bubble wrap and slammed with “FRAGILE” stickers. 
Arguably, you don’t need to be friends with your co-workers when you have artists like him coming in and out every few months. He’s quite lively, very excited, and almost clumsy in the way he carries himself. 
You were endeared with him the moment you met him and honestly just three days in, the two of you are practically attached at the hip as you push and work hard alongside him to set up the installation as perfectly as possible for the following weekend. 
And, well, the first showing went off without a hitch. His smiling face could have been seen for miles, you think, as you watch him mingle and blush at each compliment and critique of his work.
So bright. 
So full of life.
The exact person you’d want to be around. 
“Jungwon–” You elbow him in the side as he nods and shakes hands through each farewell while the museum comes to its close for the night. “It’s Friday.” You smile. 
He nods you off, paying close attention to each face that came to visit his work. And only when the halls are empty does he make his way back to you with a deep exhale and a loud, relieved groan. 
“Finally.” He huffs, blowing a strand of his hair up and into the air. “Just fifty nine more days to go.” 
You roll your eyes fondly at him already counting down until the two of you are scheduled to take down his work. 
“You do know you only need to be here for opening night, right?” You laugh.
“Well, yeah.” He shrugs. “But it’s my first installation, I worry some kid will come wipe his snotty nose all over my hard work.” 
You chuckle, he chuckles, and then you turn to face him. 
“So, it’s Friday.” 
He bounces on his feet. 
“Yeah, glad to see you seem to grasp the idea of fleeting time and whatnot.” He looks at you with a mischievous smile. “What about it?”
“We should go out. The club across the street has really strong drinks for half the price as most places.” 
You watch as Jungwon’s eyes shine when they flick behind you to glance out the window. Then his face falls, his eyebrow raises, and he tilts his head. 
“You do realize we’ve been here for like, eighteen hours straight, right?” 
You nod casually with a shrug.
“I live super close by, if we get tired, you can just crash on my couch.” 
He pretends like he thinks it over for more than two seconds before ultimately accepting the offer of fun. 
“Cool. Wanna meet me there in an hour? I should probably change and stuff first.” 
You eye over his outfit, and then give yourself a quick glance. 
“Good plan.” You smile, backing away and throwing your bag over your shoulder. “An hour. Be there.” 
You both nod in agreement and go your separate ways. Sleepy, but entirely willing to celebrate Jungwon’s huge accomplishment with drinks that have already proven to be too strong. 
The hour passes quickly, wearing that same pair of boots for a second time now that you have the perfect place and reason to stomp around in them. This time, you even go as far as darkening your lips and smearing your mascara just a smidge. After all, you’re definitely gonna get drunk and your makeup will be smeared by the end of the night regardless. 
You gasp upon seeing Jungwon’s chosen attire, offering him an “Ooooh” the second you walk up to him. He had been leaning against the front doors of the museum, as if he’s simply an on looker and not a working artist with a top-notch showcase within those walls. 
He lends you a matching “Ahhhh” upon seeing your chosen outfit. Both of you somehow match in a way that makes this appear more like a date night rather than friends getting drinks. Which is kind of cute and a welcomed idea if the two of you have one to many and accidentally start making out or something. 
It feels platonic enough to laugh off in the morning, anyway. And really, while his boots don’t lend him extra height, he stomps around in them much like you do your own. With his black knit sweater littered in frays and pulled yarn, and his hair intentionally messed up. 
“Wonnie,” You offer the nickname easily as you grab onto his arm and check the street for cars before beginning to cross. “I think some eyeliner could finish off your look.” You laugh as the two of you practically prance with heavy boots to the club. 
He smiles at the nickname, hiding his face only slightly in his sweater when he blinks back at you with sparkly eyes. 
“Really?” He smiles, dimples on full display for the tattooed bodies lined up outside, already checking out the artist. 
“Yeah, oh–” You huff, digging in your small shoulder bag. “I have some, let’s do the finishing touch.” 
And when the two of you stand at the back of the line, you do just that. Carefully holding his cheek in one hand and lining the lower lashes on his left eye. 
He doesn’t even close his eyes, and instead looks up into the night sky with that same dimple showing. Blinking every few seconds at the sensitivity, ignoring the fact that his eyes start to prickle at the feeling. 
“It tickles,” He chuckles in a hushed whisper, never having a friend be so close to his face like this before. “How do you manage to do this every day?”
“I guess you just get used to it after a while.” You focus on the way the darkened color brings his eye to seem more catty than it already was, taking your thumb and swiping the bottom lid to smear the charcoal makeup.
You note how innocent and shining his other eye looks compared. Nevertheless, you go to rest your hand on his other cheek now.
Just for a moment, his eyes flash down to look at you. So, so close to his face. Instantly, you lend him a pause and your own smile. 
“You’re blushing.” You laugh, holding your hand steady in wait as he shifts his weight to the other leg out of natural nervousness. 
“Sorry,” He whispers out, blinking frantically to prepare for his other eye to tickle. “I’m not used to being this close to someone.”
Ah, you don’t believe that for a second.
“Look up.” You instruct, already lining his other lashes. “Feels like I’m putting the finishing touches to a masterpiece.” You add in a lame chuckle, feeling a little flustered yourself the more you note how his eyes water at the tickle. They shine so pretty.
He laughs out at your comment, a hand shooting to your wrist as you smear the liner on him. Not to be intimate or anything, just simply to steady your hand more.
“I guess I am kinda the canvas like this, huh?” He comments, standing as still as he can while looking up at the moon. “Hey–”
“Hm?” You say, pulling your hand back now and doing the same with your thumb to smear the make up into perfection on his flawless little face. 
“What kind of gum is that?” He asks, blinking a few times before adjusting his eyes properly and pretending like he can’t feel the waxy substance caked on his lashes. 
“Just regular spearmint.” You give him a half smile. “Why, you want a piece?” 
He nods, mostly because if he had known you were going to get this close to his face, he probably would have already had some type of candy in his mouth.
Again, it’s not like he has feelings or anything. It’s just, well, it’s always intimate to have someone so close to you. In your space. Your bubble. No one ever gets that close unless they want to kiss. Or, he guesses, if they’re putting eyeliner on you. 
“You look really cute,” You comment now, stepping back after giving him a piece of gum and looking over how the smeared makeup really does complete his look. “Should’ve brought one of my chokers too. Now that, yeah.” 
“Huh?” He tilts his head as the two of you move up the line. “You’re really into this kind of scene aren’t you?”
You nod shyly. 
“Was a total mall goth back when I was a teenager. I would’ve stalked you around the mall if you looked like this back then, really. Totally my type.”
He lends a bashful blink and a half-hearted laugh, stuffing his hands into his pockets and looking to the ground. 
“Well, when I was a teenager I looked like the person who invented calculus.” 
“And now you’re just a little work of art, huh?” You continue the cringey art-jokes, mostly because you like the way he tries to pretend they’re funny rather than utterly horrifying. 
And he does smile at it, ears flowing with heat as he blushes. He probably wouldn’t feel so shy if it weren’t for the fact that he also heard compliments all day about his art. He’s a bit sensitive right now.
“I guess so.” He accepts your compliment like all the others, lifting his shoulder to his cheek with a squinted eye. It’s nice to feel like the world’s favorite person for a night, truly.
And the conversation is even easier from here on out. Albeit, a bit flirty but it stills platonic enough to where the two of you are just…in a comfortable little bubble surrounded by faces you don’t know. Perhaps playing the part of being two individuals who came to a club together rather than separately and alone. 
As the hours pass, there are several strangers approaching the two of you. Words of “need a third?” and “well aren’t you two just fucking perfect?” 
Jungwon basks in it, snickering quietly with you but never denying a single accusation. The two of you play along. Drinking, dancing, and then more drinking. Up until Jungwon decides he’s held his bladder long enough and is off in search of a bathroom while you make your way to the bar. 
For more drinks, of course. Not to hit on the bartender you met the first time you came here.
“Another red death?” The man with inky red hair smiles at you, already grabbing a glass and starting your drink. 
“Yes but, can I actually–” You pause, glancing at the other man behind the bar. 
Red haired man laughs knowingly with a nod and a side eye before pointing silently at his co-worker and raising a brow at you.
You nod back, dipping your face only slightly when you see him take two steps back and whisper to the man. 
Instantly, you feel a bit more shy over asking to be served by this guy but goddamn. His dark hair looks slightly damp when his eyes glance to you upon whatever is being whispered in his ear, probably from something spewing in his face after being shaken up, or perhaps from sweat. 
You try to avoid eye contact under the man’s gaze when he walks over and in front of you. Sharp jaw, silver chain, loose black t-shirt revealing equally as damp collar bones.
God. The shirt is sticking to him. 
“Babe, my eyes are up here.” He laughs, holding an empty cup and leaning on the bar towards you. “Had a little too much to drink again?” 
You nod, dazed by his dark eyes before immediately shaking your head. 
“Red death, please. Two of them.” 
The man nods with a knowing smile. 
“I saw that you came here with someone.” 
He’s flirting. Mostly for tips but it’s not like he hasn’t been known to take people home from work before so, wherever it goes is where it goes for him. 
“Jay, can you grab me the-” The red haired bartender says from behind, and Jay, presumably, hands him a bottle without so much as letting him finish the sentence. 
“He’s cute.” Jay continues talking to you, enjoying the way you don’t realize how you fold in on yourself. “Any reason as to why you asked me to make your drink?”
“Um, oh,” You were gonna be bold, but you feel Jungwon suddenly clinging to you from behind, eyeing the bartender just like you are. “I just think you make them better.” 
“Did he just say I’m cute?” Jungwon whispers behind your ear, watching the man’s hands as he makes the drinks with expert knowledge. 
“You’re both cute.” The bartender smirks, looking between both of you and then offering a wink. “This round is on me.” He adds, sliding both cups forward and brushing your hand just for a moment before turning his attention to someone else. 
Honestly, it’s like you and Jungwon are the same person at this moment when you grab your drinks and you turn to face each other. 
Both of you, bouncing on your feet with whispered squeals over the hot bartender including both of you in the compliment. 
“Oh my god.” You stare forward, tasting the drink and noting that there somehow seems to be more alcohol in this one. “He’s so–”
Jungwon nods to you excitedly, sipping his drink quickly before glancing behind you and meeting the eye of the bartender again. 
“He was just looking at your ass.” He comments, flipping his body to cling to your arm and now turning his back to Jay “You think he’s gonna check mine out too?”
You nod with a snicker, the song changing and the tempo instantly drowning your thoughts. 
“I love this song!” You shout with drunken glee, already making your way from the bar but keeping that little thought that hopefully, Jay will keep glancing at the two of you simply because it’s fun to be watched by a hottie. 
And Jungwon just goes with your flow. Dancing with sticky sweet lips, eyes glazed over from the music and mood. His makeup looks more beautiful now paired with strands of his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. 
You don’t think you’ve ever seen dimples so fucking deep before, and it’s almost painful to remember his face without that smile plastered on it. 
“Wonnie,” You grab him by the shoulder and pull him against you, ignoring how his hair dips into your drink for a moment. “I think you’re my best friend.”
And the way he pulls back with a gasp, smiling wider? It shatters your heart just so it can grow larger. 
“I am?” He does a little bounce through his dance move, eyes shining in the strobe lights, flashes of red and purple shading his cheeks, only deepening those dimples. “Really?”
Never have you enjoyed spending time with someone like this. Never without crushing hard, never without wanting to take them home and fuck them until you can’t walk. Jungwon is different though. He really does feel like a long lost best friend, like the part of you that has been missing for far too long. 
The moment you met him, you clicked in a way that didn’t involve a dick or a hole. I mean, sure you’d probably fuck him for funsies but there’s really no point in it because you feel perfectly happy, perfectly fulfilled, just having him spend his free time with you. 
Surely when he has to travel back home, you’re going to cry. 
“Why do you have to live so far away?” You pause your dancing, making yourself sad at the thought that he will only be here for a few weeks. “Who am I gonna hang out with when you leave?”
Jungwon lends you a pouty sound, a coo, almost. 
“I only live an hour away.” He laughs, leaning forward and plastering his sweaty forehead to yours with a slurred shout so you can hear him clearly. “I’ll come see you all the time!” 
And with that, the mood seeps right back into your veins as the smile overtakes you. 
You dance with him, forehead to forehead for a long, long, while. Up until the club is so crowded with people that Jay couldn’t possibly be paying attention to anything other than making drinks, and you couldn’t possibly pay attention to anything other than the music vibrating the alcohol in your stomach. 
It’s almost suffocating, as you feel a pang in your chest of overheated anxiety. You breathe in, smelling the fifth piece of gum that Jungwon slipped from your pocket on his breath. You exhale, smelling your own sweet alcohol breath before pulling back and dragging Jungwon by the hand into the only corner not packed with people. 
“You okay?” Jungwon slurs as he sways in front of you, eyes trying their best to seem concerned. “You look like you might get sick.” 
You nod, feeling your mouth fill with warm saliva indicating that you should probably go to the bathroom now. 
“Okay, lets get you to-” 
You cut Jungwon off with an off balance sprint to the bathroom and somehow he keeps pace with you, gripping your shirt and refusing to lose you in the crowd. 
Unfortunately, as you press on your stomach to somehow hold down whatever is trying to come up, you notice how there’s a very long line for the bathroom. 
And it’s still suffocating in here. 
And your mouth tastes too sweet. And the music is too loud.
“Let’s go outside!” Jungwon shouts against your ear, vibrating your brain as he navigates you through the crowd himself, pressing you up against the front doors of the club before pushing you outside with him close behind.
The waft of breezy summer air instantly fills your lungs and your stomach settles at the space you have to yourself now. 
You stumble forward, making your way around the same concerned bouncer from before who only smiles at you and Jungwon struggling to find your footing. 
And, like the best friend you knew he became, he tries his best to be the sober friend right now. His voice wavers and crackers when he speaks, but his hands are firm on both of your shoulders as he presses you against the wall behind you. 
“Stay here.” Jungwon says with concern still in his voice. “I’m gonna run back in and get us some water, okay?” 
And you nod in a daze as your eyes follow him when he disappears back inside. You note how he says something to the bouncer before opening the doors, and surely he simply asked that the guy keep an eye on you. 
“You should probably eat something soon, sweetheart.” The kind bouncer comments to you in the night air, stepping closer to you and standing just against the wall next to you.
You feel protected by him, so there are no alarm bells ringing. 
“You know I can’t let you back in, right?” He chuckles as he speaks to you calmly. 
“Oh, I bet.” You laugh, breathing in the air again and again, still not regretting the fun you’ve had for the past few hours. “Just gonna sit here and wait for Wonnie, he’ll help me get home.”
“Good, good.” The bouncer confirms your words, still standing protective next to you when you hear the doors fly open and a few seconds of booming music before it’s muffled again. 
Jungwon flops down in front of you on the sidewalk now, two water bottles in hand with a smile on his face. 
“Jay gave me these.” He smiles. “He said if we can handle waiting til closing time he can drive us home.”
You laugh sheepishly. Unfortunately, you’re a bit too drunk and you know you probably wont make it another hour and a half with an additional however much time it’ll take for him to close up the club before needing to pass the fuck out. 
“I think I’ll have to take him up on that next time.” You slur your words. “You’ll help me walk home right, Wonnie? It’s a short walk.” 
Jungwon nods, still doing his best to act as sober as he can, but the bouncer shuts him down fast.
“Oh, I don’t think so buddy.” The bouncer laughs. “You’re both fucked out of your mind.” 
You laugh, Jungwon laughs, and the bouncer throws in his own hearty sigh. 
“Fuck–” You have a sudden, sober thought. “The tab. Jungwon, did we pay the tab?”
He pauses, eyes widening. 
“Shit.” He explains before jumping up on unsteady feet. “Can you help her call for a ride?” He slurs out at the bouncer, only disappearing inside again when the kind goth nods at the request.
And as you sit here in the silence after the bouncer helps you order a ride, a few minutes pass. Your eyes are out of focus as you stare up into the night sky before closing them. 
You could fall asleep right here on the sidewalk if you’re not careful. 
Another few minutes pass, now a loud slam of the doors rings in your tired ears now and you jolt out of the drowsy state, opening your eyes thinking you’ll find Jungwon rushing to you but instead, you note how suddenly you’re entirely alone. 
You don’t know how long you’ve sat here, or where the bouncer went, better yet why Jungwon isn’t back yet but what you do know is that suddenly, you’re mind is sober and fucking assaulted by the smell of cinnamon.
You glance around, trying to focus on the scent and where it’s coming from when– oh.
There, walking down the sidewalk is that fucking priest from before. Tall, clad yet again in black clothes, and he simply pauses his step in front of you. 
“Again?” The man calls out to you with an amused voice, lending you his hand, but you don’t take it. 
Instead, the doors suddenly fly open and Jungwon stumbles out again, nearly tripping over his own feet with an apology of “sorry, jay was trying to convince us to–”
“Uh, hi?” Jungwon interrupts himself as he takes note of the man standing in front of you. “The fuck are you?” He checks the man out, not quite able to focus on him in full.
The priest nods his head at both of you, staring Jungwon up and down before landing his eyes back on you. 
“Get her home safe.” He says nothing else before continuing his nightly stroll. 
And, well, you do get home safe. 
You and Jungwon are a mess of limbs in the short ride to your apartment, and an even messier pile of idiots by the time you make it inside. The couch is long forgotten by the time you close your front door, feeling Jungwon follow you all the way to your plush bed with drunken groans and giggles.
There, you flop onto the bed fully clothed without so much as a happy “goodnight” and you’re both drifting off to sleep. Jungwon’s heavy limbs are thrown on you as he loosely spoons you. Like he’s still trying to take care of you despite the fact that you no longer feel sick, and you’re both perfectly safe behind your apartment walls. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Have you no shame? 
Fuck no. 
What about Jungwon? Nah.
Both of you have a pep in your step by the next Friday, waiting for the museum to close so Jungwon can walk home with you and get all dressed up and ready for another fall into the infamous “after life”.
“We should try to stay until closing, maybe Jay will bring us home this time.” Jungwon wiggles his eyebrows as you put his eyeliner on for him again. 
“We’re gonna have to look real good then, yeah?” You smile at his pretty smeared eyes, reaching your hand up and ruffling his hair.
And you do. Both of you dress up in the darkest, blackest, sexiest fit you can find in your closet. Jungwon is sporting one of your pretty, sheer lace undershirts beneath his own unbuttoned black cardigan, pants tight and low on his waist. 
You, with another semi-transparent shirt. Sheer, showing all the goods if you hadn’t put on a nice fitting bralette under it. Cute skirt that shows your thighs, the stompers, of course. 
And the finishing touch this time? Matching chokers. 
“Cute.” You comment, leaning forward and popping a minty kiss to the tip of Jungwon’s nose. 
“You too.” He smiles, pinching your waist before turning to face your vanity mirror and checking himself out. 
Cute is right. Jay’s probably gonna fall to the floor when he gets a look at the two of you. 
And, well. The night is a blur. 
Jay does, in fact, eye the two of you with that sharp smirk like he did last weekend but you, unfortunately, drink far too much yet again. 
Jungwon slowed down a bit towards midnight but he kept an eye on you for the most part. Trying to secure the ride for both of you by orbiting around the bar and making flirty talk with both bartenders when time allowed it. 
You stayed on the dance floor through it. Sometimes dancing with Jungwon when he comes up behind you with clingy hands and updates on the Jay situation, but after a few songs he’d wander off again. 
It’s nice, kind of. Having someone with you that can maintain control through your own drunken stupidity. You don’t mind dancing alone, after all, you’re not entirely alone giving the pretty men and girls who come by to dance with you every other song when Jungwon isn’t around.
And of course, around the same time as last time, you find your mind feeling suffocated by the time the club is at capacity. 
You sway on the dance floor in search of Jungwon, unsure of which way the bar is because your eyes simply can’t adjust to the darkness and flashing lights by this point. 
Dimples. You need to find the sunshine face in this void of darkness. 
And you search. 
And search. 
Until you’re stumbling out the front doors alone, knowing that if Jungwon is looking for you, he’ll probably know you stepped out to breathe at some point. 
Just like the week before, the crip summer air outside instantly settles your stomach and breathing comes easier. You feel more sober than you thought you were as you sit here, making small talk with the bouncer who finally introduces himself to you. 
“That’s a good name for a big goth teddy bear.” You mock the man. “Balor.”
“In the flesh.” The man waves you off. 
And then, suddenly, the bouncer is stepping closer to you with a stiffened shoulder, the air outside shifting to something else for him, but you’re completely unaware of it. 
“I need to step inside for a moment, will you be alright for a few minutes?” He knows he shouldn’t step inside, but in all fairness, it’s kind of the protocol at this point. 
Considering that man has made himself very clear that if he’s near the club at all, it’s for good reason and he’s not to be interrupted. At least, that’s what code is for the bouncers here at this club. 
It’s a shame though, to know he has to leave you to the night. You’re a fun girl, peppy and sweet, not rude or hard to make small talk with on the long nights of work. Maybe you drink a little too much, but still. It’s not like the bouncer knows why he is to leave the sidewalk when a certain someone wanders by. What he does know is that more often than not, he’ll sink away inside only to resume his position alone, with no one left on the sidewalk.
Probably just a pimp. 
Or human trafficking. 
He isn’t sure, but time and time again he has been told to leave it be. That it’s nothing wretched. That it’s simply a territory that isn’t their own. 
Still, you nod to the bouncer. 
“If you see Wonnie, can you scold him for letting me get lost?” 
You miss the look of concern on the bouncer’s face. 
“Hey, come back inside, I’ll help you find him.”
“Oh, hello again.” A voice echoes from around the corner, causing the bouncer’s shoulders to fall as he immediately offers you a small “I'll find him–” before disappearing behind the heavy doors with haste. 
And then, cinnamon. The spicy scent wafting through you so fast that you’re almost dizzy. 
More dizzy than you already were, anyway.
“Have you learned nothing?” The priest walks up to you, chuckling and raising his eyebrows. 
“Weird ass priest.” You say, paying no mind to the happenings of just now, totally unaware of the energy surrounding you.
“And to what god do you believe I pray?” He tilts his head as he stands in front of you, hands behind his back, leaning down at the waist to position his face in front of yours. 
The question makes you look up at him with a skewed brow. 
“The usual one?” You ask, rolling your eyes at the silly meeting. 
Again.
A third meeting. 
“Ah, the usual one.” He mocks, nodding his head before standing back up and towering over you. “Do you seek him out?” 
You nod momentarily, having never been religious but at this moment, as drunk as you are and as alone as you feel with this strange man, only god could answer your curious question as to why you keep meeting him. 
As to why you’re always all on your own when he appears. 
As to why he forces a hope in your mind that god is really out there, and he’ll protect you when the bouncer isn’t here.
“Was that a nod?” He smiles at you, landing a cold hand on your shoulder. 
“Yes,” You whisper out, feeling heavy and more and more dizzy by the moment. Not from the alcohol but from something else. “Do you know where I can find him?” 
Your voice calls out on its own to him. You don’t recall wanting to ask him that, nor do you recall even thinking those words before saying them.
“He’s right here, love–” The priest pulls back, presenting the space in front of him before turning his hands inward and presenting himself to you. “I am God.”
You freeze, a rush of cold running through your veins. Surely you’re hearing him wrong despite that voice echoing those words in your head three, four, five, six times. 
“Isn’t that considered blasphemy?” You try to play it off in a joke, hiding the chill down your spine. 
Pretending you’re not interested. 
Wondering why it is that you are, actually. 
“Perhaps on any other street.” He confirms for you, now crouching down and showing his face plainly to you. “Do you keep secrets?” 
Your body nods before you can think to do it yourself, and you narrow your eyes for a moment at him. He’s…insane looking. Unnaturally flawless. Like those little speckles of moles on his face were placed with perfected intention. 
You’re mesmerized as he looks at you, eyes glancing to each part of your face, watching your expression change and fall, then rise and– he chuckles fondly, deeply. 
“I believe you.”
Why do you feel proud of that?
“Come back with me, yes?” 
There’s a long pause as you fight to think for yourself. If Jungwon were here with you right now, surely you’d be more grounded than you feel right now. Surely, you’d be having a heated conversation involving some sort of shared fantasy over that bartender. 
What was his name again? 
J…J-
Your eyes adjust to the face in front of you as you lose your train of thought. Something inside of you pulls. You can’t tell if it’s your heart or your thoughts but it appears to be instinctual when you replay his invitation in your head. On any other night, with any other man, you’d say no. 
Under these circumstances alone, you should be running away. 
This man. Dressed as a holy priest, walking to and fro from what you assume to be his home within that unnatural cathedral, presenting himself as god.
You should stand up and disappear into a crowd of rowdy dancers. 
You should find Jungwon and cling to him. 
You should push him away, and you should be recoiling by his cold hand that brushes your cheek. His voice shouldn’t feel so good in your ears. Like a siren, something inside of you doesn’t want you to run. 
“Temptation has you by the throat, my dear.” He smiles as his hand brushes your warm cheek again and again. “You seem rather fond of the feeling.” 
And now he flashes his teeth to you. Glistening brighter than the moon, he appears all but natural to you at this moment when you spiral internally at how fucking beautiful he is. Surely this guy is just a turbo goth that truly lives the life. Probably gives his heart to satan and only fucks during a full moon. 
And oh, wouldn’t you know.
You glance up at the sky again, the moon full and nearly pulsing in the sky like it’s a living being itself. Then your eyes fall back to the priest, his smile still present. 
A weirdo. A freak.
But…aren’t you too?
You barely feel yourself stand up and take a step forward under his arm. You follow the scent of him if nothing else. Heavy in your nose, like a hidden treasure cloaked by the darkened fabric draping over his body.
You want to smell it deeper. Maybe if he were to take off those clothes you could–
“By the throat.” He mumbles quietly as he leads you away from the club. 
Away from familiarity. Away from Jungwon. Away from the public.
There, straight back to that damned cathedral.
You’re more unnerved this time though, because the moment you step through the doors, you cannot, for the life of you, recall what you were supposed to be doing. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Waking up with a weight on your side, you smile at the feeling of what you assume to be Jungwon next to you. As you lay here, not quite comprehending what happened in the blur of the night before, you start to take note of something. Color. 
The light behind your closed eyelids don’t match the yellow-white light of the sun shining through your bedroom window. No, you’re seeing colors. 
Blue, red, green– 
“Wonnie?” You call out, squinting your eyes open, not quite processing the room before you feel a pit in your stomach. “Wonnie?”
Holy shit. 
You thought it was a dream.
You thought coming back to this cathedral was nothing more than a drunken dream. That the weight on your side was more than just a misplaced pillow. 
And as you lay here in a room that isn’t yours, and most certainly a different room compared to the one you slept in previously here, you try to think. 
Was it not a dream? 
The way the priest held you close and inhaled you? The way he put you to bed and left you here in the darkness? The way you– oh. 
This feeling in your chest, pulling, pushing, weighing so heavy. Something inside of you wants to see him despite your uncomfortable awakening. No, you need to see him. This feeling, you know now, only becomes more aggressive when he’s near too. Which can only mean he isn’t far outside of this room. 
You think hard about him and what you can remember outside of the blur in your head. He’s attractive. His face is otherworldly, with eyes so dark you hate that you can very nearly see yourself floating in them. 
The image of his face sits clearly in your hungover brain as you try to think. The feeling of his cold skin against your face, his lips, his…
Red.
Panic washes over you when you jump out of bed, ignoring the head rush and the way you immediately topple over and onto the floor. You need to go home, you need to find Jungwon and make sure he made it somewhere safe last night. You need to find your phone, and your…purse? 
Your shoes?
Where the fuck are your things?
You plant your hands against the cold wooden floors, staring straight down as you try to think. Still, nothing comes but blurry images of the club and then solid images of Sunghoon flashing like still photographs behind your eyes.
Are you losing your goddamn mind? 
Finally, you take a deep breath and stand on your feet, rushing for the door and expecting it to open easily, just like this time. But no. It’s locked. You’re fucking locked in. Which is– fuck, you can’t think straight. And while you still recognize that you’re not expected at work today, surely Jungown is worried, right?
He’s probably looking for you. Hell, with the way his nerves get to him, you wouldn’t be surprised to know he’s plastered posters all over the city looking for you. 
He’s definitely looking for you. 
Fortunately though, only a few minutes of pure panic pass when you hear the door unlock and a pale-eyed nun opens the door for you. She instantly sees the fear in your eyes when you take a timid step back. 
“Oh, you poor dear–” She coos out, lifting her brows in pity. “Do you not remember?” 
You hear her sympathy, feeling your body shiver with relief at her safe and calm voice. Looking up at her, she can already see the question in your eyes. The need for an explanation. 
“You did request that I lock the door for you. You were just simply petrified when–”
You gasp at her choice of words, not remembering a single bit of fear from the night before. 
“Petrified?” You whisper carefully, wrapping your arms around yourself and nervously looking around the room. 
The shrouded woman purses her lips, glancing away from you. 
“I do believe Master Sunghoon startled you. He meant no harm, my dear.” She tries to calm your nerves, but the information only stiffens your shoulders more. 
“Master?” You question with hesitation. “Do you mean Father? Reverend?” 
“Oh.” She purses her lips tighter now, a small smile breaking out at the corners of her lips. “It’s worse than I thought. Please, come with me.” 
You shake your head, backing yourself up against the wall. 
“It’ll only be a minute,” She waves her hand for you to come. “You’re not in danger, I assure you.” 
And as you stand here, knowing that you likely have no choice but to follow her, you hope that her words indicating no danger are truthful. You kind of need them to be, after all. 
“Come now, dear.” 
Reluctantly, you follow her. 
All the way up a too-dark spiral staircase, down two long and dark hallways with vaulted ceilings, and upon rounding a corner, you smell it and you fucking feel a tug in your chest. One that drives you to walk a bit faster, nearly in front of the nun as your feet carry you to where you feel you’re supposed to be. 
She chuckles when you reach the large double doors before she does, dipping her head at you before seemingly gliding back down the hallway in silence. 
Before you can even knock on the doors, they open with a rush of air hitting you square in your face. It nearly knocks the breath out of you at first, but you inhale deeply the same scent of cinnamon before your breath is actually caught in your throat. 
There stands the priest. Or god…or whatever he is. 
“Terrified.” He clicks a knowing tongue at you, stepping to the side to invite you into the extravagant room. “Just when I thought you I had you, too.” 
You stand in silence in front of him after stepping inside, that tug in your chest trying to pull you directly against the man. Still, you refrain with furrowed brows as you remain silent.
“And yet, here you stand.” He softens his frustrated voice, leaning comfortably against a wooden desk behind him. “The human brain truly is fascinating.” 
“Human brain.” You repeat his words to him in an attempt to process them.
“Yes, of course. Yours in particular.” The priest, in his night clothes of a loosened white shirt and long pants makes his way to a bookcase. You watch his slender fingers pull a ratty old book out before he flip through the pages. “I’ve heard about people like you.” 
You pause as you watch him push a pair of gold-trimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose, a memory flooding to the forefront of your mind as you recall last night to your best ability. 
Again, red. 
“I used to be like you.” He just talks, offering no context but keeping his sharp gaze on you despite having the book open in his hands. 
You find yourself nodding as you listen, feeling your hand raise to your heart as you try to ignore the way the priest, Sunghoon, takes a deep inhale. 
There’s nothing that follows his inhale. He doesn’t release that breath as he stares at you and instead just…smirks.
“Last night, you believed me to be god.” He smiles wider now. “You stood in that very spot and undressed  yourself.” He takes a step closer to you now, tilting his head with his words. “Do you know what you did next?” 
A shaky breath leaves your lips and a shiver runs through you again and again as you shake your head at him. Forgetting just for a moment how to speak. 
“You got on your knees and you prayed.”
You drink the thick air in the room like a glass of wine, swallowing harshly, struggling to maintain any type of steady heart beat. You feel allured, aroused, mesmerized, embarrassed. 
“What–” Inhale. “Did I pray for?” 
Exhale. 
“Me.” 
Inhale.
Within a split second all the memories come crashing through your skull. Rattling images of that very instance where you were on your knees, right here, fucking praying. Your hand instinctively shoots up to your neck, and there, you feel the drainage points. Two small pricks, just like in all of those movies you watched growing up. Sore, swollen, hot to the touch. 
Well, goddamn. 
There goes your balance. Your eyes start to blur and you feel yourself fall. Only, you don’t. You can’t when you hear him drop the book to the floor and feel his cold body shoot up and against you to hold you up. 
He says nothing at first as he looks down at you, and you couldn’t say anything if you wanted to. You look up at him in a daze, trying to focus, trying to think, but all you can process is the way he inhales again, deeply.
“You ran.” He whispers to you, studying your face and the way your body went from limp to almost holding up on its own in a shorter time than he expected. So strong, you are. Such a fighter.
He inhales again, seemingly drowning in the smell of you before rolling his eyes up and closing them just for a moment. Then, he groans before looking back down at you with eyes almost as dazed as yours.
“You didn’t run away, though.” He adds.
Even as he releases his hold on you, he smiles and inches his face closer and closer to yours. Almost as if he’s making an attempt to stare straight through you. 
“I wouldn’t have stopped you, love.” 
Your body feels weak as you soak in the truth of last night, your lips instinctively wanting to kiss him. No longer do you feel the need to run away, or to find Jungwon. You’re no longer afraid, even. 
Words can’t explain how you feel right now.
“Why didn’t you leave?” 
You have no answers for him when you hum out as a response. In fact, you’re not sure if you’ve ever had the ability to answer questions in the first place. 
All you feel is euphoria as he continues to talk to you, sweetly smiling and lowering his voice to something that drips like thick syrup down the walls of your brain. 
“I can trust you’ll be back then?” He hovers his lips over yours, watching you pucker them for him before backing away with another deep inhale of your scent. “Or would you rather I come pick you up from the vomit-covered sidewalk again?”
You find yourself laughing at that, smiling as you blink at him. 
God, he’s so charming. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Sunghoon had shoo’d you away shortly after, and you managed to make it home in a daze of sunlight and uncanny admiration.
You’re not sure if you can ever feel normal again after that. In fact, you’re quite dissociated and disconnected to the world until you find Jungwon slumped at the entrance of your apartment, sound asleep. 
Like a guiding light, his presence grounds you so fast that you feel more dizzy than you did in Sunghoon’s arms. Like your spirit is slammed back into your body and reality is hitting you again. You crouch down in a rush with light taps to Jungwon’s face, those bright eyes widening the moment he realizes that you’re here. 
“Where were you?”  He whispered drowsily, his dry throat forcing his voice to crack as he shifts his body comfortably against your door. 
Immediately, your face is apologetic and your voice is soothing in repeated apologies. 
“I’m sorry, Wonnie–” You hiccup, nearly wanting to cry. “I ended up going home with someone, I didn’t mean to leave you there alone.” You continue, pushing your hands under his arms and hoisting him up to stand. “I’m sorry.” You continue, and continue. “I should have left my keys with you, or–”
“Hey,” He whispers sweetly, finally standing on his own and stretching his arms out with an even drier sound. “It’s okay, you’re the one who missed out.” 
You tilt your head in question as you reach for your shoulder bag, the one Sunghoon had tucked within his desk drawer, and pull out your keys. 
“Oh?” You smile at his lack of care, but part of you kind of shatters at it. 
What if you really needed help? How long would it have taken Jungwon to see the red flags? Then again, how long is it going to take for you to see the red flags?
“Oh yeah.” He nods to you, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as you push open your door and push him inside. “Jay brought me here, he stayed for a little while, even offered to bring me back to his place.”
You’re a little jealous. You did miss out, it seems. Still, you feel…fond of what you went through last night. Despite the feeling of rot within you when you think about it. Knowing it’s weird. Strange. Unnatural.
A vampire? Really? Surely not. 
“Why didn’t you go home with him?” You ask, making your way to your room right behind Jungwon, paying no mind to him as you undress and throw on a t-shirt. “Why’d you sleep at my door?” 
Jungwon shrugs, now taking his own outfit off while rummaging through your closet for a shirt you probably got from an ex boyfriend. 
“Well,” He looks at you now, really looks at you. “I’m fine if you wanna go home with people but I was a little worried, wanted to make sure you’d actually make it home.”
You pause as you dress yourself for a second sleep, feeling something in your chest flutter out of you at his worry. So he did see the color red. 
Not as brightly as you did, but he still saw it. 
“I really am sorry.” You furrow your brows as you watch him put that over-sized shirt on and lay on your bed. “I promise, I won’t do that again.” 
“You’d better not.” He chuckles, blinking at you and waiting for you to come lay with him. 
“Let me go get us some water first, I think we have a lot to sleep off.” 
He nods happily to you, only one dimple peeking out at you when you turn to head for the kitchen.
And after that, it’s nice. Not much sleep happened though, mostly just a lot of water chugging and pillow talk before Jungwon shifts with a gasp.
“What the fuck is that?” He bolts up, hovering over you and practically pinning you to the bed as he forces your face to the side. 
You know exactly what he’s looking at and explaining it isn’t the hardest thing in the world. After all, you were very drunk last night. So drunk that you’re sure you woke up today still drunk. 
A vampire? Hah. There’s no way. You were right to think Sunghoon is just like, really goth. Embarrassingly so. Probably thinks he’s a vampire lord or something. 
That pull in your chest? The inhales with no exhales? 
It’s all an act and, well, you’re kinda into it if you’re being honest, being hunted and all. The dude is hot as hell, and you don’t mind exploring a little bit of his world. 
“Well…” You trail off, lending your looming friend with the smeared eyes an embarrassed smile. 
“Those look deep.” His voice drips in concern as he keeps your face turned. “Did it hurt?”
You feel his fingers touching the two puncture wounds. Gentle, warm fingers. They pulse at the touch and sting when he pulls them away to let you turn your face back to him.
“To be honest, I don’t remember feeling it.” You think he’d probably panic if you told the truth right now. About how you were clearly too drunk when it happened. About how you prayed to a man only for him to pierce your neck and drink you up like you did to the drinks just hours prior. You aren’t even sure if you had sex with the guy.
To you though, sober or not, you probably would have still left with Sunghoon last night. With that flawless skin and those dark eyes. Sober or not, if he’s into biting and blood, you’re into it too. More than willing to play his victim. 
The fact that you were probably far too drunk at the time doesn’t bother you much because even now, with a grasp on reality, you’d like to think you’d let him do it again. If anything, just to feed your own curiosity.
“Wow, you really are into some freaky stuff–” Jungwon comments playfully, rolling back off of you and then taking a breath. “Make sure you clean them. Who knows where the mouth that did it has been.”
All smiles when you’re with Jungwon, honestly. So much comfort and concern, so much laughing and safety. If it weren’t for him, you honestly wouldn’t know how you’d be feeling right now. And it’s nice knowing that he opts to sleep over with you again. Seemingly preferring your apartment over the home he dropped a hefty wad of cash on for a two month stay. 
The feeling of having a best friend swells inside of you with each passing day, and his presence here allows you to go to work and sleep through the night without much more thought to Sunghoon. You love this city and you love the little artist that found himself at your doorstep even more. 
Hopefully he meant it when he said he’d come visit you all the time once his time here is over. Unlike you, who changed your mind the moment you saw Jungwon asleep at your door. 
“I can trust you’ll be back then? Or would you rather I come pick you up from the vomit-covered sidewalk again?” Sunghoon had said to you. You remember it despite the state of your mind at the time, and you also remember nodding to him. 
He seemed satisfied with your confirmation, yet since then you’ve felt no push or pull. No need to have him sucking on your neck or making you feel like he’s a demon wearing the skin of an angel. 
Perhaps you’ll just need to be sure you don’t find yourself drunk and alone on the sidewalk again.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
By mid-week, Jungwon looks sad to know he needs to go back to his respective space for a little while. Not because he wants to, and not even because you want him to. 
It’s simply because you need to be alone. You’ve always needed to be in your own space when this happens anyway. 
Month after month after month. For years and years. 
It never gets comfortable and you’ll never understand why you’re fated to hurt so badly every twenty two days. 
Going to work is already difficult enough, bloated in your quirky outfits and smiling through the twisting knots in your gut. Having Jungwon in your space when you very nearly want to strangle every person who asks you how your day has been would only lead to more owed apologies. 
“It’s not forever, Wonnie.” You genuinely smile through the pain at his narrowed eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic.” 
“Oh, I’m being dramatic?” He throws his arms up and motions at you. “You just told me you need a few days to bleed out on your kitchen floor.” 
“Well, yeah...” You laugh and he frowns. 
“I have a sister, you know.” He rolls his eyes. “Who’s gonna buy you snacks and bring you microwaved water bottles?”
“Jungwon.” You land your hands on his shoulders and force him to look at you. “I really just don’t like when people are around me when I'm on my period.” 
He blows a strand of his hair up before pursing his lips, accepting the fact that maybe he’s a bit too clingy. Then again, you’re the only person in this city he knows and arguably the only person in this world he’s managed to grow so close with.
Given the fact that the two of you only met like, what? Two weeks ago? He should probably tone it down and not make an attempt to change your lifestyle just so he can sleep next to someone. 
“Fine.” He huffs, frowning harder. “But if you need snacks or–”
“I’ll call you.” You shake his shoulders before forcing him into a bear hug. “Thanks though.” 
And with that, you go your separate ways at the end of the work day and try to ignore how the pain medicine did close to nothing all day to help with the twisting in your abdomen. 
Still, you’re relieved to know you can tough out the next few days in silence due to Jungwon backing you up on your false-sickness nonsense nearing the end of your shift. 
“I feel like I’m coming down with a fever.” You whined to your boss, happy that the first day cold-sweats from your period makes it appear as just that. A fever. 
“She’s been a bit out of it all day. If you need me to help out on the down-low while she’s recovering, I don’t mind.” Jungwon had added, smiling at your boss and not at all bothered by the unpaid work he’ll probably have to do for your sake. 
A great friend he is. You’re lucky to have met him. 
An amazing friend, really. For helping you find space for yourself in crowded clubs and within your own bed. For lending a hand at work and showing up every day for your shifts despite simply being an artist that’s presenting his work there. No where is he needed within that museum outside of, well, you. 
And he’s always there. So for him to not be here now, when you’re making your way to your apartment door? It feels...wrong. Mostly because, as alone as you are when you walk inside and as silent as it is, you don’t entirely feel as alone like you once did here. 
Still, you go about your nightly routine and fall into bed with those same cramps in your gut. It’s not long before you’re drifting off, pleased to know that at least when you’re sleeping, there’s no pain in your body. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
A strong scent wakes you, forcing your eyes open in the darkness of your room. 
Familiar. Warm. Spicy.
Cinnamon.
A tug, just a little pull inside of you brings you to your feet as you wander through your apartment. Straight to the front door. Straight out of the front door. 
“You know where I live?” You whisper drowsily, rubbing your eyes and walking straight into his grasp, ignoring the feeling of sticky blood leaking out of you just from getting out of bed alone.
“No.” Sunghoon speaks against your hair, rubbing your arms as he holds you against him. 
“Oh.” You accept his answer with a nonchalant feeling inside of you. Who even cares how he ended up here? 
“Come back with me?” He whispers, already taking a step back and smiling wickedly when you instantly follow, forcing your nose further against his chest and up to his neck. “I hear it dripping, love, come.”
And you do. All the way downstairs and into a car with heavily tinted windows. 
You feel comfortable, safe. 
The cramps in your belly are nowhere near as you slowly but surely come to your senses. Half-awake but feeling buzzed next to him. Still, you smile while keeping your nose planted up and against his neck even as he drives. 
You like the sound of his little laughs each time he tries to push you back to your seat, and you like even more the way he mutters to himself through it when he relents and lets you do as you please. The short drive in the dead of night doesn’t offer much in terms of danger anyway. 
And slowly still, your mind clears. Breaking out of the buzzed fog when he brings you through the cathedral
 silently. Past the pale-eyed nuns with pursed smiling lips, past the windows and hallways. 
No longer are you buzzed by the time you make it through those heavy doors of the extravagant room. The same one you prayed in. The same one you nearly fainted in. The same one you tried to forget. 
“How do you feel?” He asks just moments after the doors close. 
You can sense the slightest bit of hesitation in his voice when he asks you that, only now realizing that you’re in your pajamas and fucking staining them.
“What do you mean?” You ask, squeezing your legs together in an uncomfortable show of what’s happening between them. 
“Are you awake?” He asks now, still slightly hesitant in front of you. You can almost see him hold himself back. 
From something.
“As far as I know.” You tilt your head, glancing around the room. “Um, can I go to the bathro–”
“Can you read that clock?” He interrupts you and points to the candle-lit wall. 
“Three thirty–” You pause, squinting to make sense of the exact minute. “three.” 
He smiles at the fact that you’re entirely awake with him this time, despite the drowsy lure he had you in when he appeared at your door. 
You’re here of your own free will, and you’re not running. 
“Do you want to go home?” 
You’re confused by the questions. As confused and drunk as you felt upon stumbling out your apartment door, you very much came here willingly. If anything, you’re just a little weirded out by the fact that you were paying such close attention to him that you missed the way blood seeped through your clothes. 
“No?” You offer back to him before taking a deep breath. “Can you show me where the bathroom is though?” 
And before you can even comprehend it, Sunghoon is right up against you. Looming and staring down as his hands rest on your shoulders before sliding down to your waist. 
“Now, now.” He chuckles, lowering his face just an inch, resting his lips on your forehead. “Why would I want to do that?” 
“Because I’m gross right now?” You laugh awkwardly, trying to take a step back but realizing that his grip on you tightens. 
“Oh, have you forgotten?” He laughs out, lowering himself more, dragging his lips all the way down your face, neck, chest. 
“Ah, wait–” You panic when you feel his nose against your stomach, threatening to go lower. “I’m like…” You’re embarrassed to say it now. 
After all, you came here with the clear indication of fucking. Period or not, you’re not afraid of a little bit of blood but…this.
“Sunghoon, I’m on my period.” You finally speak into the room, trying to push his face from your stomach. 
“I know.” He smiles, pressing his nose harder against your stomach. “Drove me crazy all day.” He dips his face down instantly, inhaling deeply between your legs.
Something inside of you is insanely turned on by his blatant interest in you. 
“All day?” You ask, hands reaching for his hair as he drags his nose straight through the mess you’ve made. 
“Could smell it, darling.” He laughs, pulling back and looking up at you. “Smells so sweet, not gross. Delicious.”
Why the fuck is the blood smeared against the tip of his nose so alluring? Jungwon was right, you really are into some freaky shit. Then again, it’s not so weird considering you’ve never done this before. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere when it comes to kinks, right? 
“Can smell something else too.” He looks back between your legs, ignoring that you are trying to act like you don’t want to let him. “You’re aroused.” 
Oh. 
And just as you’re preparing for some sort of pressure between your thighs, you feel a waft of cold air rush up your body when he stands and grabs your face with both hands. 
“You never came back.” He hisses against your lips, dragging you back and further into the room with him. “I had to sniff you out like a fucking dog.” 
Your mouth falls open at the spiteful shift in his voice, following his movements all the way into the room until he’s spinning around and pushing you from his hold. You fall back against something insanely soft, and instantly you moan at the feeling of silk against you. 
Barely able to catch your breath, he’s over you. He’s on you. Tucking his face into the crook of your neck with a low rumbled growl in his throat and inhaling over and over again. 
Inhale. Inhale. Inhale. 
And you can feel him nose his way all the way up to your face, opening his eyes and staring straight through you with slack lips just over yours. 
You’re mesmerized by him at this moment. Never has a man acted this way with you and it’s insane to think you’d ever be satisfied with someone who wouldn’t. You almost strain your neck to kiss him, and you truly would have if it weren’t for the fact that you feel him sink his hand into your shorts.
Not even a second to truly comprehend how ice-cold his fingers feel when he slips them down and slides two of them into you. He watches your face when he does it, his own slack lips turning to a smile when you moan out at the smallest of pleasure he wants to offer you. 
“Oh, look at you,” He coos, feeling your arms shoot around his shoulders when he continues to slide the digits in and out of you. “So sticky, what a pretty little mess.” 
You groan in embarrassment at the act, knowing full well that you’ll have to face the fact that you like it at some point after he’s finished with you. You don’t mind admitting it so much now though. The way his fingers slide through the thick mess, forcing the scent of brass to mix with his own cinnamon aroma? To die for, truly. 
“I could just eat you up–” He chokes in a whisper this time, struggling to maintain his composure from the sickening sweet smell of your blood. “Would you like that?”
You lift up instantly, kissing against his slackened smile. It’s one sided, as he simply lets you do it and nothing more. Mostly because he, himself, is spiraling into a frenzy of what he needs more than what you want. It’s all pleasure the same though, as he feels your tongue trace against one of his sharpened teeth.
Just a small bite. Just a taste.
“Ah–” You pull back in a wince, the flavor of blood hitting the back of your taste buds as you look up at him with confusion.
He doesn’t allow much looking though, as you hear that same rumble from his throat right up against your lips. You feel his tongue lick you up, slurping the blood straight from your new wound and moaning through the flavor of it. 
His eyes flutter closed as he tries to hold down his thirst, knowing that his fingers are fucking dripping with this same sweet, red slick. It wouldn’t take much now for him to break and let it all drip down his throat. He could end this now if he’s not careful.
And when he opens his eyes again as he pulls back from your sweet tongue, he notes the look of confusion still on your face. His eyes roll in fond annoyance at you for that, only because you have this stubborn need to question despite having the clear answer bleeding from your mouth. 
“You’re still trying to pretend you don’t realize?” He asks, whispering real close to your lips, darting his tongue out and offering a small kitten lick as he buries his fingers deep. 
Your lips open for him in a moan and he licks into it again. Your still bleeding tongue only drives him further and further from a stable mindset. No one, not in hundreds of years, has tasted this fucking sweet. He almost can’t savor it with the way his body rises from slumber at the mere fucking scent of you from ten blocks away. 
His cock pulses for the first time in decades for you. God, he feels more alive than he did when he was actually cycling blood through his veins. 
“You just sliced open that pretty tongue on my teeth.” He chuckles, basking in the warmth he can only feel with you beneath him. “My fangs, love.” His fingers continue their slide all the while, the sounds of squelching blood filling his ears more than your soft groans for more. “Still, you seem to deny what this is and what I am.” 
You can hear his words, but comprehending them isn't quite as easy. Like, yes, he’s got a vampire kink. Whatever. 
“I get it, you’re kinky.” You huff out, missing the way he stifles a laugh at your denial of the truth. 
“You’re a stubborn one–” He smiles, flashing the same fang that sliced through your tongue. “It’s a bit frustrating. Perhaps even endearing.” 
And then, suddenly, his fingers come to a halt and he waits for you to look at him. Just as you go to speak, he’s sliding his fingers out of your mess so quickly, shushing you with his red stained digits. 
“Now, listen.” 
It’s silent. More silent than you ever thought the world could be. 
“Do you hear it?” 
You shake your head, feeling his fingers leave a trail of your blood against your lips as he drags them away and up to his own mouth. 
There, he hangs his fingers from his mouth, licking gently and tasting thoughtfully before sliding them further in. He sucks them clean in an erotic show of his blood-lust before letting them fall from his still licking tongue. Then, he’s slotting them right back between your legs, wanting more to taste. 
“No? You don’t hear how loud it is?” He asks now in a lower tone, still thirsty, still in need, dipping down to lick the blood from your face. “All that blood in you, bundled up right–” His fingers press hard against your clit. “Here.”
Your body jolts in pleasure, eyes rolling back at the mere sensitivity he forces your body into. God, kinky is right. He knows how to use words. His voice is so elegant while spewing the filth, so proper.
“Ahh, that feels good, doesn’t it?” He questions you in a moan that mimicked your own, now lowering himself from your face and kissing down your clothed chest. Down, down, down. “Do you think you’ll believe me when you feel the blood drain out of you?” His voice echoes in your ears, reminding you of the vampire-like thirst he’s trying to act upon. 
And when he slips your shorts down your legs, you don’t even protest. Which at this point isn’t weird at all. The dude is insanely into it and you can’t help but feel like you can vibe with it if he keeps acting like this. He’s good at roleplaying. 
Instead of an embarrassed protest, you respond to him by spreading your legs and presenting the red mess he’s smeared all over you. Inviting him.
He glances up at you as he watches, saying nothing, thinking nothing except for the fact that– you are perfect. 
In every way, spread out and dripping blood, perfect.
You feel an intense jolt of pain shoot through your body just seconds later, followed by a loud and almost animalistic moan from the man between your legs. You lift slightly as you try to look down at him, witnessing the way he sucks the flesh of your thigh into his mouth, blood weeping from the new wounds his teeth create.
So much blood. He’s the one drunk now, utterly fucking mesmerized by the amount of it you pour for him. Your fleshy thighs offer the freshest, he couldn’t help but take a sip before giving you what your quivering body is truly begging for. He has to quench the genuine thirst before playing with his food, at least. 
And as you watch him it’s like you’re nothing but a piece of meat at this moment. He’s sucking and sucking against your thigh until you’re sure your toes are numb. They’re tingling, and you can physically feel the blood being pulled from you. As if his teeth are two syringes seeping it out of you. 
Af if they are. Not because they actually are, right?
And by the time your toes are effectively filled with static, he finally releases the fleshy bite on your thigh. You stare down, listening to him smack his lips and lick the corners of his mouth, seeing the way he doesn’t make eye contact with you at all before he’s turning his attention and burying his tongue into your crimson coated cunt. Without warning, but with so much eagerness with his tasting lips. 
Your eyes flutter with a loud and strained gasp, eliciting a groan of his own to bubble into the blood that falls against his tongue with each passing pulse of you. He licks in time with your heartbeat, which is fucking insane that you can tell he does it. Never before now have you heard your heart beat so loudly, so frantically in your ears. 
And you would be embarrassed, perhaps even worried that the taste is awful. Maybe it’s too much for him, maybe this kink is all just for show and this is a limit he’s only willing to try once before realizing himself that he doesn’t necessarily like drinking the blood from a woman’s pussy…except– Sunghoon gives you no reason to feel like any of that is true. 
No, no. Oh no. He’s fucking relishing in it and you can tell by the way he moans and skews his head to dig his tongue deeper. You can tell by the way he smothers himself, not coming up for air for even a second of the time he’s spending down there. 
And god, you can feel the mess of it all. Sticky, smearing all over your thighs when his fingers trace you mindlessly before gripping your thighs just to pull you down the bed, closer against his face, sliding his tongue ever deeper.
Moaning, fucking slurping it out of you without so much as a breath. 
He’s not breathing.
And now? You panic, focusing more on the time he’s spending burying his mouth and nose into you than the feeling of it. Your hand shoots down into his hair, pulling his head back and away from you. 
Then your breath is caught in your throat at the sharp image. His eyes blown out, widened at you. Nose, cheeks, chin, tongue all glistening with sticky crimson slick, and a smile.
He smiles at you. 
At least before his tongue is clicking and he’s poking it into the side of his cheek before reaching back, grabbing your hand, and shoving it out of his hair before sinking his face right back between your legs. As if to show you that he was annoyed by that. 
You don’t get to think about it though, because this time he’s licking you more frantically than he already was. Fast tongue flicking and fucking you, his teeth dragging against your pussy lips, refusing to let you believe that he wants to breathe fresh air right now. 
Your hands find purchase in his hair yet again though, and you feel him grip your legs and stiffen his shoulders to keep his head in place just in case you try to pull him from you again. You hear the deep growl. You feel it rumble against you as if to warn you to keep your hands to yourself if you’re not going to let him do exactly what he said he would fucking do. 
So, you don’t pull him away. Instead, you play in his hair with your weak hands. Twisting and twirling strands of it between your fingers until he’s pulling his tongue back on his own. 
A shock to you, truly, that he does it at all. But you guess it makes sense when you feel another sharp pain in your thigh, right below the preview bite he had given you. 
Just when you were gaining feeling back in your toes too. 
And he goes back and forth like that for a while, until his face is utterly soaked in diluted blood and pussy-slick. Until he needs to look at it pulse, and watch how beautiful you still, fucking still, have more to pour out for him. 
He’s amazed, really. Never has he served himself a woman that’s openly bleeding for him like this. After all, he prefers to drink his dinner from the carotid artery and be done with it. He was far more creative back in the day though, you know, when his cock still worked. 
Most of his sexual pleasure came from drinking alone. Never getting hard but always reaching climax in one way or another when he gets that last, delicious drop of blood from his victims. But now? Oh, now. You’ve stirred his arousal back to life. Not from pure hunger, but lust.
It’s been so long that he’s lusted. So, so fucking long since he’s cared enough to fuck his prey or give in to the temptation of menstrual blood. In fact, he can’t even recall ever allowing his victims to fall away from the drowsy lure he puts them in. Many of them didn’t know what was happening to them before death and he preferred it that way. 
Until you. An average looking commoner with insane fucking blood. Devilish blood. Divine, demonic, angelic, fucking celestial tasting blood. 
After all this time, he’s had beautiful face after beautiful face. He’s had men, women, celebrities, false-prophets, and even purely divine bodies.. But you…oh no, he can’t simply kill you like those utter throw-aways.
There was a reason he didn’t end you the first night. Something in him caught fire on the taste of your drunken blood. The alcohol you had ran through his veins along with a taste he’s never once fathomed existing. It was the first time in hundreds of years where he forced himself to let you walk out of his quarters. 
Blood with no comparison. So thick, so sweet, so…damning. How could he have just killed you there? How could he pretend like it’s not addicting? Like he didn’t want you to continue producing more and more of it, all for him to drink up?
Of course he wants all of it. He wants to drain you to your last fucking drop, but then he’d never taste it again. Not in thousands of years, at least. So now, as his cock pulses awake and your heavy flow only produces more and more for his hungry mouth to lick up– fuck.
It’s been so long since he’s felt something for a victim like this, and even longer since he’s wanted to use his cock. No, needing to use it. It feels almost foreign to him now after so many centuries, to fuck and eat at the same time. To indulge in all the pleasure, and not just the one that keeps him alive. To want you to feel the pleasure too, to need you to want him without the false sleep forcing it.
You. 
You’re the one. You’re the one he’s going to keep. For as long as you’ll let him, and when you stop letting him, he’ll have no choice but to lure you again. Forever. All for him. 
“Love,” He rasps out, staring at the way your pussy shines so prettily in front of him, the pulse drawing him to near starvation despite being drenched in his meal. “Never have I wanted to fuck before I–” 
Kill, is the word he almost used. It’s instinctual, but instead he releases a moan from his throat at the mere thought ignoring that instinct. Drinking, sipping. Forever just a fucking appetizer and never the full meal. He can settle. He will settle.
Never. Truly never has he wanted to stop himself from drinking just to fuck and he needs you to know that. The feeling is too erotic for even him to comprehend right now, meshing with his hunger and making him feel –-
Gods be damned, he could kill you. 
He should kill you. Given the fact that he has never let a meal leave this room without being drained entirely. Never while they’re awake and fully aware anyway. Insanity. You’ve made him go insane, losing his wits enough to treat you as something more than a victim.
Despite hunting you as one. Despite never having to hunt anyone like he has you. Wanting you to be here willingly. Wanting you to love the feeling of his thirst. Wanting you to learn how good the drain feels. Wanting you to know what he is and needing you to love it. 
Needing you to stay alive. 
Insane. 
He’s fucking losing it.
He knows that if he can never smell this scent again, if he can never taste it, or have your fingers in his hair, if he can never want to fuck again? Oh, he’d crumble. 
He’d take a walk at noon.
You’re not dying tonight. In fact, never shall you feel the cold slab of a morgue freezer if he has anything to do with it. No blood wasted when it comes time for you, and no life truly lost either. 
If just for the sex. If just to quench a never ending thirst. 
If just to live in insanity.
“Before you–” You release in a breath that he chases. As if craving the life under him like an animal. “Before you, what?”
“Kill.” He whispers as he swallows each breath of yours, tasting the sweet sleep that you once held in your body. His own eyes feeling drowsy as if you have your own lure on him now. 
Even the panicked gasp you release at his choice of word there, he swallows it, kissing you hard in a drowsy groan and smearing the blood all through the kiss, letting your breath rumble out of his mouth as if the moan were from his own lungs. 
“So vacuous.” He chuckles now, feeling the pleasure of his cock jolt through his body. He presses himself between your legs, relishing in the sticky blood seeping straight through his sleep pants. “Do you feel that?” He continues, rutting against you as if he’s a virgin of all that he’s experiencing right now, licking each smear of blood from your cheeks and chin. 
“Ah, Sunghoon,” You groan, but you try to be serious in your tone. Feeling the orgasm that once was bubbling up settle back in your stomach. “You’re making a mess.” 
“Mm, I am.” He mutters mindlessly, pressing harder against you now as the taste settles in his throat. “Love, tell me. You feel it?” 
Of course you fucking feel it. 
The nod you lend pleases him, knowing that it’s not just his imagination. Finally, he can feel the warmth of a living being wrapped around him. Finally, he doesn’t feel so cold. 
“You can’t fathom what it is that you do to me,” He continues his sweet talk, running his lips down to your neck, leaving trails of that blood all the way before immediately piercing his teeth into the same wounds he left on you already. He feels your pulse against his teeth when he sucks and only groans weaker against you as he ruts. 
“Ah–” You wince in pain again, feeling the wound reopen with a cold and sharp prick. The pain ignites something inside of you to press your hips up, sliding yourself against his red-drenched pants. 
He chuckles into his bite at your willingness, his hands reaching straight down to shove his pants down in one movement. Euphoria runs through him at the feeling of your warm blood against him when he presses back against you.
Really, the feeling alone paired with the taste of your fresh blood yet again only drives him to keep going. After all, he has all the time in the world. His intention to keep you here only lends him the ability to press his length straight into that bloody, sopping wet hole of yours. The one pulsing for him, the one that lends his favorite smell, taste, and feeling in the world. 
His teeth are forced to retract when he throws his head back at the sensation of sinking deep into your cunt, one fluid motion reminding him of how much he loved this feeling before. How often he’d fuck, and fuck, and fuck until suddenly, he just– couldnt. 
You’ve ignited so much life within him, even while doing nothing more than lying here bleeding. No longer does he feel bored with the world considering he’s managed to find you in it. He could possibly even love you if you let him.
Especially with the way you react nearly the same as he does. As if you haven’t fucked before. As if you’ve never mixed scents with another being before ever coming to this city to chase your own demise. The little sounds you make could be so much more than what you think they are. 
They’re so similar to the ones you make when he bites, when he sucks, oh, so so similar. So deeply seeped in pleasure, pain, hesitation.
“Darling, are you afraid?” Sunghoon manages to say as he feels himself warm from inside of your tense body. “Do you believe me now? Do you understand now?”
You frantically shake your head at the tear of his cock spreading your walls open around it. That one slide rendering you near faint considering the amount of blood he’s taken from you already. The feeling of…ice. It’s in you, running from your veins all throughout your body. So, so, fucking cold. 
No, no, no. No living being on this earth could feel this hard inside of you while being this…oh. His hands have been cold on you too. Always. His scalp under your fingernails as you scratched. His lips, his tongue, all of it was freezing until your blood was coating him. Everything about him is ice.
Still, you shake your head through the pleasure, cock warming him both literally and unintentionally. He just sits inside of you, feeling the beat of your heart gush that same blood past his length and out of you. Your eyes slightly open to look at him, afraid of what you’ll see. 
He’s smiling. His eyes are…brighter.
“C–cold.” You manage to stutter out, nearly feeling brain freeze from the way he pulls his hips back and plunges into you again, warm blood splashing out and against his pelvis, coating your thighs more. And oh, that bite on your thigh, it’s dripping again. 
“So cold, yes?” He chuckles when he dips down, moving his hips steadily in and out of your sticky mess. No longer thirsty, just…aroused. “Do you understand?” 
You frantically shake your head again, grabbing onto him from over his shirt. You’re panicking inside, your fingers gripping so tight, trying to find heat. Needing heat. 
How did you not think about this more? It took this to recognize that he never warms? And he’s smiling at your panic? 
God, but it feels so, so fucking good. 
“Love,” He coos at your panic, pistoning his hips easily with the slide, bringing both of his hands to your face and forcing you to look at him. “I’m dead.”
Ah. 
So he is. 
Yet, the feeling of him inside of you feels better than you’ve ever had. The way his hands hold your face, the way his eyes blow out for you, the way his entire face is tinted in red. He’s so alive yet…
Entirely dead. 
“You’re afraid?” He asks through his own forgotten pleasure, wanting you to stay but entirely willing to put you to sleep so this doesn’t have to end. 
“Sunghoon,” You interrupt any words he’s about to give you, opting to continue fighting the truth when you note the softer tone of voice he uses despite the quickening pace of his hips. “Harder.”
Oh, the fire within burns colder than it ever has at those words. He doesn't even need to pull you? You don’t want to pretend this isn’t happening? You’re accepting him? 
If you want him to go harder, he’ll make you feel like no other. Harder he goes, using all of his pent up frustration of not being able to drain you fucking dead, all of his strength, all of everything he’s missed out for the past centuries– all of it. It’s behind his thrusts now as he slams into you. The blood that splatters out only makes the moment all the more grand to him. 
Breaths leave you with each slam, the sticky sound from below being drowned out by the sheer sound your heart rate in your ear. You’re still panicking, but you can’t help but want more. After all, surely what’s left for you after he’s done is….no, it’s not real.
He feels the fear pulse around his cock and moans out at it, the squeeze so tight, the gush so delicious. This entire room smells of you, and he wants it to be fucking drenched in you. The fear inside of you right now only intensifies the pleasure, and he knows he should be calming you through it, he knows he should tell you that you’re making out of this alive, but–
The way the heart beats so frantically when one is terrified. You’re dripping with fear, the smell of your blood intensifies with each petrifying pulse squeezing his cock to the point he feels his own heart make an attempt to pulse. Your life runs through him entirely out of fear that you’ll lose it. 
He can’t tell you, not when your body reacts so flawlessly. Exactly how it’s supposed to react. So delicious is that fear, he wonders if it makes your blood taste any hotter. He dips down, sinking his teeth into your neck once again and confirms his suspicions. It does taste hotter, sweeter, and it pumps itself so beautifully against his eager fangs. Almost as if you truly bleed for him, because he’s not even needing to suck for it at this point. 
It just drips, and pours, and bubbles out all for him to swallow up. 
You push through it though, the pain is so good, and if this is what it’s like to die, perhaps you’ve found yourself in a lucky position. At least you’re not being ripped to pieces by a stranger, or crushed beneath your own car on a highway. At least this way, you’re being held and seemingly adored.
And the fear, excitement, and pure adrenaline in your body forces it out of you. A rush of heat slamming Sunghoon right in his gut when you convulse under him. Legs shaking as you moan out both in disbelief and intense ecstasy. The blood tastes even sweeter now for him, so sweet that he has to pull back in a guttural and demonic growl.
It’s been so, so long since he’s felt a woman cum around him. His own body reacts in an instant, releasing his own thick secretion into you as you shake through it. Sweating, panting, drooling, crying, bleeding. All for him. 
And the explosion behind his eyes is a reminder to keep you alive. He forces himself to keep the inhale from happening as he plunges into you one last time, coating the inside of your bloody walls with a flurry of freezing ropes. Amazed at the feeling he has long forgotten, his body shakes through it and renders him near psychotic for the release. 
You continue to shake with him, shivering at how the man makes you feel as if you’ve been lying in snow for days, but you keep your eyes closed. 
You’re terrified of him, of this, of the truth hitting you square between the eyes as if it wasn’t obvious all along. Fantasies, legends, fairy tales. How many of them are based in reality? 
You know what’s coming now, based on those same stories. 
The last bite, the drain, fuzzy images, death.
And you embrace for it, trying to relish in the post-orgasm bliss before it happens because you know there’s no way to run from him. If he’s truly what he says he is, there’s no chance in this world that you can stop him. You’re going to die, and the strange way in which your brain accepts the inevitable is more calming than petrifying. 
You never knew you’d be able to prepare for it like this, but here you are. Waiting for it. Accepting it. And when you feel the air of his body shift down to you, right up against your neck, you squeeze your eyes shut and hold your breath.
His cold hand tilts your face and all you can do is anticipate as you feel his teeth graze the abused and swollen marks there. 
Here it is. 
You inhale deeply, hoping that if there’s an afterlife, this last breath will be a good memory for you until–
A kiss.
He kisses the wounds. He licks them. He nuzzles his cold nose against them, and then he pulls out of you and lays directly on top of you. 
It’s silent as you lay here, still trying to prepare to fucking die and he’s just prolonging it? 
“Get it over with.” You gripe, frustration dripping out in your weak voice. 
It’s laughable, really, that you’ll sound so argumentative and petty over the loss of your life. So laughable that even he’s chuckling about it, right against your ear with no breath fanning against your skin. 
“Get what over with, darling?” He asks, not having felt this drowsy drained state in so long. 
Your mind is racing though, seemingly trying to think of everything that has ever happened in your life onto everything you wish still could happen, only to consistently land on the fact that you don’t want to believe what’s happening. 
You know very well the denial you’re forcing yourself into, even in the face of demise, you don’t want to believe any of this. 
“I still can’t believe that you’re— No,” You dead-pan before taking in a terrified breath, still keeping your eyes closed. “They’re not real.”
“I’m very, very real.” Sunghoon argues back, infatuated with the denial you try to keep. “You know that I am.” 
“So, you have to kill me then?” Your voice gets smaller as you accept the truth little by little, your breath shakier. “Fucking get it over with then, stop trying to savor it, it’s not like I can run now, right?” 
You still like the way he laughs, so breathy despite having no breath of his own. And through that laugh, he lends another kiss before you feel all of that weight lift from you and dip onto the bed next to you instead. 
“Don’t beg for it.” Sunghoon warns, pulling away from you and forcing his instinct to remember the release of the orgasm he just had. “I won’t be able to stop myself if you ask me so prettily.” 
You pause, your eyes opening against your will as you look at him. He’s facing away from you, but you can see the damp blood drying in the strands of his hair. Your eyes trail down, a puddle of blood staining nearly the entire lower half of the bed and it’s still dripping out of you. 
Or perhaps, that’s whatever it is he fucking shoved into you and fucked out of himself. 
“None of this is happening.” You say to yourself. “I did not just fuck a vampire.” 
“You’re right.” He comments with another laugh. “A vampire just fucked you.” 
Well. You’re still not ready to believe that. Even with the absence of heat, even with the lack of breathing. 
“Prove it.” You ask, unsure as to why you’re wanting it both to be real and just a dream.
You back away when he immediately does as he’s asked. Turning to you and crawling over you. There, he lowers his body, chest to your cheek. 
“Listen.” He says, reaching to hold your face and press it up and against his chest. “Anything?”
You wait, listening for a thump, anything to prove he’s wrong. Fucking any sound at all to blow his cover. 
You’re frozen as you listen, your body going into fight or flight as the seconds turn to minutes. Unfortunately, your body is not a fighter, nor a flier. You’re stuck with his hand on your cheek, holding you so tightly against something you wish was alive. 
A little thump, thump, thump could be the most relieving sound to you, but no. There’s nothing. 
You pull away from him now, body still frozen but head running a mile a minute. How many proofs does he need to provide for you to understand that it’s not fantasy? 
And finally, you feel your body jerk away from him on its own. He’s startled by the movement and you use that short second to roll off of the bed. You do your best to stand, but your brain immediately pulses in pain. Your vision goes fuzzy, dizzy.
Right, you’ve lost a lot of blood tonight. To think your toes aren’t still numb, to think you’d be able to stand without dropping to the ground.
“Thousands of years.” Sunghoon stands quickly, stalking over you and wrapping his arms around you. There, he presses you back on the bed and straddles your hips. “I’ve never told another soul and let them live to remember it– until you.”
You shake under him, the weight feeling more dead now than it ever has. He’s heavy as he holds you down, but somehow his grip on you is gentle. His voice is soft. His eyes are hesitant. He’s not holding you here to hurt you, it seems.
“My love, I told you time and time again,” He glances away from you, feeling something within him shrivel at the thought that now you’re unwilling. “Is it different now? To find that I’ve told no lies to you?” 
Still, he soothes you as you try to comprehend reality. You think hard through the dizzy fog of blood-loss, running more with your mind than your body. He did tell you. And you’re still alive. He just drank and drank from you, and you’re still alive. 
He came to your apartment, he told you he smelled you. 
He’s never lied. 
You just refused to listen. 
He drank you, he fucked you, he held you, and now he’s holding you. 
“I don’t want you to fear me.” Sunghoon admits with sad eyes, trying to ignore how long it’s been since he’s felt sad at all. 
So many emotions you force him to feel, this was not one he was looking forward to. 
“How can I not be afraid?” You breathe out in slurred speech, as if to mock him, because you now know that he truly can’t do it himself. 
“It’s too late to be afraid.” He says apologetically. “You’d have died weeks ago had I wanted it.” 
Why are you still falling in love with his voice? With his stupid grammar, and his horrifying dead-skin? Even with the fear in your stomach, why does this make your heart flutter?
“I’ve never felt so full,” He admits now, releasing his grip on you slowly. He can smell your heart slow, knowing you’re starting to calm now. “Until now.” 
You stare up at him as your eyes recover back to clear vision, in awe of how gentle a killer is being with you. Inspecting the way he’s drenched in your blood, yet you truly still are breathing. He could have killed you time and time again. 
But he didn’t. 
He’s never once lied to you about what he is, and still you struggle to believe what he says. Even when his words match his actions. Sure, he’s a vampire, but he’s not going to kill you? 
What reason do you have to believe him save for the blatant truth behind it? Do you want to believe him? Would you rather be dead?
He knows you can’t fathom the truth so quickly though, and that’s why he’s being gentle. He has nothing more than patience to give to you, if it’ll end in your acceptance anyway. The fact that he can hear your heart beating correctly again only gives him hope that he’s right about not having killed you on the first night.
After all, he truly hasn’t lied to you. Never has he felt full, even after killing several a night. Always hungry, always thirsty, always needing more and more of the syrupy life strangers offer to him under his lure. But you. Entirely aware, flowing with blood that drives him crazy…you’ve managed to fill that desire in him. 
Why should he lie to you? Why would he kill you if there is no need? Despite fighting the instinct, he’s satiated by you. His cold body warms with yours. He will never get enough of you, so how on earth could he just…take that away from himself?
And you do stop fighting. In fact, you lay with him in a bloodied mess and sleep. Despite wanting to ask questions, wondering if he can even sleep at all. Your body is tired, your mind is still petrified, and your hands still cling to the source of it, unsure if you’ll make it to morning at all.
Still, somehow, this feels holy. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
PART TWO
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catboybiologist · 3 months
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Hi! I'm Sierra. Time for a pinned post refresh.
Otherwise known as CatboyBiologist, or @hi-sierra (my SFW blog [this one is SFW too, but less so]). This page is remaining active, but if you want to find me somewhere else, I use the same username on reddit, Instagram, co-host, and tech.lgbt. This is me:
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Trans woman, PhD student in molecular biology, boymoder, shitposter, freediver, hot girl on your phone, hiker, rambler (this post included), tgirl tummy tuesday supplier and enjoyer, former femboy, bane of bioessentialist fuckwads who try to use biology to validate biogotry, flaming bisexual, 196 nanocelebrity… whatever was the first thing that brought you to my blog, I hope it’s enough to get you to stay! I post selfies, hornyposts (minors and people who are averse to that be warned), stuff about the ocean, posts about my growing sense of wanderlust, my adorable lil tortoise, tutorials for transfemmes and GNC people, rambles about science, documentation of my own transition, rambles about transness, rambles about the eroticism of programming a machine to feel arousal, rambles about nature, and random shitposts. Please send me pictures of cute animals in your life!
If you wanna support my science career and my transition, consider dropping a tip here! PhD salaries are notorious for being negotiated to be exactly the cost of living…. And then forgotten about for years as inflation drops that below minimum wage. So I’m always a little strapped for cash. Anything helps!
Links to some of my tutorials and relevant resources under the cut:
I'm tracking my transition, and some people have said they found this helpful! This spreadsheet is generally updated monthly:
Usually, I write a little journal to go with it when it updates- you can find that under the #trans journal on my blog.
If you're interested in checking out some of the things I'm trying to write, here's a post with links to individual stories I'm making:
https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/741010247774306304/writing-consolidation-post?source=share
My femboy guide, written well before I started HRT, but still has relevant info:
A "boyboob" tutorial, aka how to make it look like you have cleavage in an outfit that looks better with it:
A quick and dirty guide to taking better selfies, with a specific emphasis on people who may have stopped hating their body recently due to transition:
And here's a few of my personal favorite little rambles and posts about my transness, in no particular order:
CW for transphobia on this one:
A massive shoutout to @foldingfittedsheets for this amazing art of the lil borgir holding a trans flag:
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I adore this so much <3 if you want to support their art, her commissions are open and really sweet!!!!
And of course, a massive shoutout to @whalesharkcat for this lovely pixel art of my tortoise:
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I still love this so much, and will continue to into the future <3
For preHRT selfies, search the femboy tag. For post HRT selfies, use the "trans selfie" tag. I've been on HRT since August of 2023, so I'm still very early in the process! Day to day, I present male, but I plan to change that around the 1 year mark.
I guess that's about it! One final note is that I've been alluding to video/podcast style things for a while now. With my aderrall prescription, I've actually put in a lot of research work that might lead to 1-4 of those, so that might actually happen in the near future! No promises of course, life always catches up to you.
And if you liked my previous pinned post better, here it is:
Anyways, if you read this far, thanks for sticking around and bbyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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laikabu · 7 days
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re: my thoughts on laios’s sexuality (long post ahead lol)
let me start this post with this. first, this contains a lot of references to the new adventurer’s bible world guide book released last february. i can read japanese, but i’m sure they’re translated somewhere. general spoiler warning in case. also… i am ESL, so sorry for any grammar errors
second, if you’re on the team that insists laios doesn’t care about humans enough to form relationships, either read the manga again or at the very least read this thread.
last, please don’t chime in with your acearo headcanons on this post. there’s already a majority of posts here that insist laios is acearo and that anything else is impossible. i don’t like it the same way i don’t like when someone declares they hc marcille as bisexual to a poster who reads her as lesbian. i already have enough people here who declare he’s ace on my own art. at least people on twitter of all places don’t do this sort of thing to me. nothing in this manga is canon, you can headcanon anything i won’t get mad if you hc him as bi or something. just. don’t be weird on my post.
okay. trust me, i love women, and i love the idea of making my favs women lovers but the idea of laios being gay really appeals to me because of his background. this isn’t fueled by yaoi since i don’t even ship the only m/m relationship i bring up here, i just think it adds a nice layer to his disconnect with his own humanity
i do think laios has a very abstract relationship with his sexuality for a multitude of reasons. he grew up in a very conservative backwater village. he has a hard time recognizing his own feelings towards others just as much as vice versa. i don’t really care for the “laios is a monsterfucker” agenda people are pushing but i do think he’d engage in sexual thoughts in his own weird way, i won’t deny his deviantart fetish shit
as an autistic person myself, i relate to how he’d prioritize his special interest over social interactions. after all, he was fixated on monster food so he’s distracted from dark thoughts. he’s not an actual glutton
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he’s shy around women, but i don’t think it’s out of attraction. i just think it’s because he’s awkward and doesn’t want to be seen as a threat. there’s a couple of times when, out of armor, he deliberately tries to make himself look smaller and nonthreatening.
he didn’t show any interest towards ashivia (the hubby hunter girl marcille replaced) and just humored her because she wouldn’t leave him alone. his other party members thought he was giving her special treatment so he had to tell her he “doesnt want to give her special treatment anymore”(even though he never did), so she left
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ashivia did her best to butter herself up to laios and he didn’t care, but laios thought shuro was his bestest friend in the whole world because he was too much of a pushover to reject him. ironically… what ashivia did to him parallels what he was doing to shuro
also… yeah sorry i keep bringing up that one comic of laios saying if he were falin he’d marry shuro and then begging him to take him back to his country, or that comic of laios wondering why he doesn’t like him(and then the first two questions he asks the magic mirror was what if he or shuro were women). i don’t even ship them! but it’s not a reach to assume that he likes men because of this, even if it’s kinda played like a joke(after all,a lot of people like chilshi even though their ‘shippy’ interaction was played as a joke)
of course, given the setting, i don’t think knows he’s gay, he wouldn’t have the vocabulary to label himself. i do want to dance around with the idea of him forcibly confronting his own sexuality after years of yaad pressuring him to produce heirs lol. laios might not be cishet but he’s a king so he rdgaf about that right now. i’m open to him having female consorts for political reasons, but i don’t think he’s into women, is all.
before anyone brings up his succubus… god forbid an author makes hetbait. a part of the plot twist was that not-marcille wasn’t the only succubus enticing laios, his other party members were copied too. she was the only one who approached him. also… succubi aren’t always inherently romantic. once it realized marcille didn’t work, it switched to appeal to his desire to be a monster.
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mlmshipbracket · 26 days
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ROUND 1: POLL #20
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RicStar art by ArtofNickRobles on Twitter
ROUND 1 POLLS [HERE]
PROPAGANDA BELOW
Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas:
Karkat is Alien Jesus, and Dave is a repressed bisexual with a sword. they watch rom-coms together. Their combined childhood trauma would bring licensed therapists so far past the breaking point that the breaking point recedes and becomes just a distant happy memory. neither of them has ever been capable of shutting the fuck up. Look, sometimes you get stuck on a meteor for three years with a guy you barely know and at the end of it you would do anything for each other. their blood is the same color.
Julio Esteban "Ric" Richter/Shatterstar:
Have a lot of subtext in the 90s
Marvel's first romantic kiss between male superheroes (as I remember correctly)
[SPOILER]
[SPOILER]
They're a battle duo :]
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weeb-polls-with-pip · 3 months
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Autistic Anime Boys Prelims - Propaganda Division - Group 2
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Propaganda:
Kyouya -
"what's there to say? you know him. you love him. vote kyoya."
Rinnosuke -
"Rinnosuke Morichika lives in an overly-cluttered curio shop, and has a special interest in making magical inventions. Since he doesn’t live in a modern setting— but a pocket dimension slightly disconnected to the outside world— whenever a modern item shows up in his shop via spiriting away, he can obsess over it for extended periods of time. He is quite blunt without realizing it, even to people he cares for. He also has a special ability to generally understand the name and use of any item he touches (though this backfires sometimes, he thought a Gameboy was a doomsday device once)."
Fuuta -
"okay look theres so many fucking signs hes autistic. he cannot tell tone and often doesn't know how to react to stuff which is a major point in his character id say. he was asked if he remembered his victim's name (hes a murderer. oops!) and his response was something along the lines of "Of course I do. I saw it everywhere." because he did not understand that they wanted to know what it was since it wasnt directly stated. im convinced that hoodies are a comfort object of his because i genuinely have not seen him without one except for one time. also hes canonically a chronically online twitter user. also he gets really passionate about his interests. also not really related but everyone in the fandom agrees hes transgender but no one can agree on what way. ive seen every single gender hc for this dude. vote kajiyama fuuta for this sopping wet poor little meow meow of a man."
Hansum -
"He's just a very odd and strange lad, can't remember names well, is an alien (mild spoiler), he's very popular, obsessed with Doritos and becomes their mascot, just refers to everyone as humans which is a mood, and is completely socially oblivious."
Miyuki -
"Relatable neurodivergent-Gifted Child syndromeTM case with all the superiority-inferiority complex that results. A chronic show-off and scheming strategist with a lowkey hopeless romantic dramatic aspect to him, silly cool and pathetic in a very hilarious way. Shirogane has a trademark glare purely thanks to his eyebags as he runs on coffee everyday having to support his family with multiple jobs in addition to class, on top of student council president duties. He's kind and an obsessive perfectionist who fills his entire wall with the weirdest motivational posters. Shirogane is very devoted to his love. He likes penguins (Kaguya and him is peak asd4asd and bi4bi btw)."
Kirito -
"He's autistic and bisexual as hell, and there's a good bit of trans coding in him 🥺
Autism coding: Bro's literally got a sword and swordfighting hyperfixation where, despite playing a game that focuses around guns, he still chooses to use a sword!! We also see him completely missing Asuna's flirting at first (he tells her she could have just checked her friendlist to make sure he was alive, in response to her tracking him down to see him)
Bi coding: Dual wielding swords is literally a euphemism in Japan for bisexuality; and Kirito initially tries to hide the fact he can dual wield out of fear of how the people he's close to will view him (and once he reveals it to them and they accept it, he begins to be more open about it.) Also in the Underworld arc he becomes very close with Eugeo to the point of living with him (and sharing a bed on occasion), and there are several parallels between Eugeo and Asuna, and they're so gay for each other that despite the anime having only a toned down version of it, they're still very affectionate (Also of note is that Eugeo is the only guy in SAO canon to consistently have a 'laying in bed with Kirito' talk CG in the spinoff games) (There's more but it's spoilers and this is a shortened version)
Trans coding: Kirito is very trans coded in the light novel (which shows Kirito's thoughts in much greater detail than the anime) Aincrad arc reveals that Kirito explicitly Does Not Like his real face, and dislikes how feminine it looks (he mentions that its led to him and his cousin being mistaken for sisters) And in Phantom Bullet arc, he's visibly uncomfortable at being mistaken for a girl due to his avatar's appearance, and in response to being misgendered he briefly panics and checks to make sure his chest flat (at least in the anime adaptation) 🏳️‍⚧️"
Shirou -
"Has one goal in life and ignores almost everything in favor of trying to fulfil that goal."
Keith -
"Speaks in a way that is seen as weird and has mannerisms others think is funny. He struggles with not being taken seriously by others because of this and many of the things others say goes over his head. He struggles to connect with other people because of these things. His entire arc in the second film is about him deciding that the people who don't accept him for who he is aren't worth it and that he's going to continue being himself."
Junpei -
"for other fans of this series, I know the more obvious representation here may be Luou, Junpei is So Good. his special interest is ballet and he has so many hangups involving how his family sees him and how other boys his age interpret him to the point that his idea of masculinity is extremely narrow and he enforces social rules on himself to mask and keep people from realizing that he loves something that Isn't Manly. he misinterprets social cues and takes things literally, like assuming that when Miyako asked him to dance with her she meant Right This Minute rather than as a pair in the studio. for some reason the point where he cuts his hair super short to prove his devotion to ballet is also sticking with me, I think maybe it's the combination of the way it's normal for boys/men in Japan to do that, yet Junpei didn't realize that kind of attitude/action didn't suit ballet at all? he wasn't aware that the context was completely different. Junpei also doesn't act or pretend very well, he's gotta put his whole entire ass into his roles, which he then proceeds to get TOO into and cause a lot of trouble, without giving too much away! he's really relatable to me as someone who's socially anxious but very skilled at masking, and seeing him become more comfortable with himself and start to show how he really feels is so inspiring to me."
Kazuma -
"He may be (wildly) misguided but his intentions are good kinda! He’s just the Guy of all time idk how to explain it."
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givemearmstopraywith · 2 months
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this is the last thing im going to say about taylor swift because now i keep getting messages in varying degrees of outrage about off-the-cuff comments i've made about her. the problem i have with taylor swift and her fanbase is not with her as a person or really with the art she creates: all art is art even if i don't personally like it. what i have a problem with is that taylor swift has kind of became a very palatable, very white, very upper class foil on which people can plaster "morally correct" opinions, like being a feminist or a lesbian ally, without actually having to engage with the real, more difficult side of those issues. it is much easier, both socially and personally (especially if you are centrist) to hold up taylor swift's alleged bisexuality or the conspiracy about her being a lesbian as a sign of your allyship than it is to engage with real-life lesbians, who are frequently not pretty, thin, white, and upper middle class.
additionally, it is easier to pinion your feminism on someone like taylor swift than it is to engage with feminism in a world where now being feminist requires you to, for instance, speak out in support palestinians who do not have access to basic menstrual hygiene and are at risk of disease as a result, or think critically about women working outside of the home in the midst of a very prevalent movement touting the lucrative values of "traditional womanhood" to thinly disguise misogyny and chattel marriage, or engage in the very real and extraordinarily detrimental exclusion of trans women. taylor swift is easy: most women are not.
i think taylor swift is fine: i grew up with her and a lot of her music still holds value for me. but touting her as some feminist vanguard is a bit hollow to me: she's really not radical, because she looks out for her interests first and foremost (which is not a bad thing: everyone, especially women, have to be self-preservative- accusations of self interest are not automatically negative nor even really accusations) and then is treated by her fanbase as the model for all women. its a matter, i guess, of public perception, and how much easier it is to engage in white feminism than it is to delve into the real grit and heart of what feminism is or ought to be. however, if she wants to gone girl that jock she's dating, i will support her.
#p
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wangxianficfinder · 1 month
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Fic Finder
Feb 24th
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1. Eyyyy it's me boyfriend XD (eyyyyy hello again 😊 - Mod C)
I'm here for a fic (I think it's a time travel fic) that I forgot the name of. All I remember is a scene where a village in Lotus Pier was flooded and Yanli, Jiang Cheng, and Wei Ying went to aid the people. Lan Zhan and Jin Zixuan also tagged along but Lan Zhan is openly courting Wei Ying on that fic while Jin Zixuan is being himself
And that's sadly all that I remember 😔. Thank you!
FOUND? This is probably a stretch but #1 isnt And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together), is it?
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2. There was this fic I read sometime ago and it was about how lan Wangji accidentally uses silencing spell on wwx too hard that wwx isn't able to open his mouth again and lan Wangji isn't able to lift the spell. It's during the cloud recesses study arc and the major issues with the permanent silencing spell is that Wei Wuxian isn't able to even eat anything and he can't practice inedia fir long. Please find this fic?
FOUND? 🧡 Couldn't Scream Couldn't Shout by mermorgie (T, 42k, WIP, WangXian, Not for jc stans, i tried to not bash jc too much but like, Muteness, Sign Language, references to selective mutism, Homophobic JC, canon jc characteristics, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Anxiety Attacks, Pining, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Supportive Sibling LXC, JZX Tries, LQR Tries, Protective JZX, Scheming NHS, Bisexual JZX, LWJ is Bad at Communicating, WWX Has ADHD, Autistic LWJ, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Jiāng Family Bashing)
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3. hi !! this is for ficfinder, i'm looking for this modern au with crime elements ?? i think wwx is a thief/pickpocket, and lwj and the lan clan are organised crime ish but art associated. lsz and ljy were also heavily featured as mentees of lwj, wwx makes a playlist. it was multi-chap, probs over 30k. they correspond over email quite a bit, and it's set in multiple cities, there's an entire chap where they talk to each other in logical fallacies and friere is quoted. tysm !!
FOUND! (i’ve got) trouble in mind by seularen (E, 76k, wangxian, JGY/LXC, modern w magic, heist au, thief WWX, forger LWJ, consigliere JGY, epistolary, long-distance relationship, d/d elements, Canon wangxian kinks, happy ending)
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4. Brain cannot brain rn so I need you guys' help finding a fic
So like, it was a Canon divergent fic where wwx submitted himself to the clans and was ordered to be cleansed of resentful energy in order to... prove he wasn't corrupted? Something like that? For the Wens? And it was ritual dual cultivation. He was sent blindfolded to a room so he couldn't tell who it would be (it was lwj, of course.) Wwx knew it wouldn't exactly work cuz he didn't have a core, but he did it anyway.
There was a second.... part? Chapter? The was from Lwj's pov of after, where he finds out about the core, then JC? A Jiang disciple? Shows up to tell them to get their asses to the conference hall because JGS is being JGS and this whole thing was mostly just a distraction
That's all I can remember, thanks for the help!
Hi 👋 4 from the latest fic finder, a friend on discord found the fic I was looking for! It was 'the meaning of the ritual' by newamsterdam
FOUND! the meaning of the ritual by newamsterdam (E, 8k, wangxian, Explicit Sexual Content, Blindfolds, Light Bondage, Ritual Sex, Canon Divergence, Let LWJ Fuck the YLLZ 2k19, First Time Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Porn with Feelings)
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5. I'm hoping you can help me find a fic.I haven't had any luck searching for it. I think it's a time travel fic. At one point it's during the Cloud Recesses classes. Jiang Fengmian is the Chief Cultivator and comes to talk to Jiang Cheng. They're talking in Nie Huaisang's room and he and Lan Xichen are standing outside it. Jin Zixuan walks by talking loudly about Jiang Yanli in a really rude way and Jiang Fengmian hears him and comes out to confront him. Any help would be appreciated!
FOUND! We'll Build A Dynasty (one the heavens can't shake) by One_eyed_God (T, 66k, wangxian, WQ & WWX, WN & WWX, JYL & WWX, canon typical Jiang family dynamics, BAMF WWX, Canon JC Characteristics, POV Outsider, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, WWX is a Wēn, Sect Leader WWX, Genius WWX, The Casual Intimacy of Hand-Holding, A Love Letter to WWX, Minor JYL/LXC, Not JC Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It) the scene described happens about a third of the way into the first chapter
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6. Hello and I hope I'm doing this right. I remember this fic that's set in the modern setting and mo xuanyu is recently married (engaged?) To lan zhan but wei ying takes over the body and then just decides to follow along. Lan Zhan ends up finding out that it's a different soul and ends up falling in love with him. I don't remember the name and I hope you can find it if it's not deleted. Thank you! @nightshade2017
FOUND! Write It on My Neck by diamondbruise (E, 23k, wangxian, A/B/O, Transmigration, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Fake Marriage, Falling In Love, Jealousy, Happy Ending, Anal Sex, Spanking, usual wangxian cnc elements, Misunderstandings)
is it a transfiguration as opposed to resurrection?
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7. hello! love what you’re doing with the blog! i need help finding a fic: i remember it was lqr pov and at one point lwj left the lan sect behind to go to the burial mounds and lqr and some other elders go to investigate and find o ur lwj and wwx married and adopted a gaggle of children. i remember lqr nagging on lwj for disrespecting lan rules bcs he was wearing like too many adornments and spoiling the kids. also the rabbits had their own pen in there.
FOUND? 🔒 Unpack Your Heart by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 22k, wangxian, Romance, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence, LWJ Has Feelings, Protective LWJ, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Wangxian in Love, YLLZ WWX, Lan Clan Elders are Assholes, Minor Transgender Character, Qiongqi Path Divergence, LWJ loves his bunnies)
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8. Hello! I'm looking for a fic which I cannot remember the name of. The main things I remember are that Meng Yao stays for the Cloud recesses lectures and roommates with Nie Huaisang. The only scene I can remember is Nie Huaisang ends up mudering a Jin disciple who tried to kill Meng Yao with a rope. Wei Wuxian ends up finding them afterwards and getting help right after.
FOUND? somewhere to belong by KouriArashi (T, 62k, LXC/JGY, JGY & NHS, wangxian, JGY & WWX, Canon Divergence, Friendship, Developing Relationship, Families of Choice, Class Issues, Bullying, Light Angst, Politics, Eventual Plot, Happy Ending)
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9. Hello, I am looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian is not brought into the body of Mo Xuanyu. Rather a random cultivator does the ritual instead as revenge for killing his family in the nightless city. His terms are for Wei Wuxian to despair, so naturally WWX finds Lan Wangji and falls in love only for the ritual wounds to start trying to kill him for not despairing. He nearly loses his arm before they figure out how to save him. Happy ending.
There's also a few bits about WWX trying to get the sword of his body's og owner to come around and work with him. @shinyobsessed
FOUND! A Storm of Laughter in the Stillness of the Jingshi by OnlyMeAndMyBones, 2nd in series (T, 74k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & WWX, angst w happy ending, hurt/comfort, injury, recovery, mental illness, depression, PTSD, rehabilitation, slow burn, empathy, guilt, forgiveness, suicidal thoughts)
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10. Hi! Can someone help me find this fic, please?
Lan Wangji is a post-war-soldier and nowadays is actually helping people to adopt a therapeutic “bunnie”. A man named Wei Ying goes there trying to find a bunnie to adopt, lwj get supper mad because this “man” is loud and disastrous and ask (order) him to go out of there. Later he learns with lxc that “Wei Ying” is actually Wei Wuxian, one of the most dangerous people from the war.
Lwj gets sad about his treatment towards wwx, because both of them are very traumatized by the war. That’s the beginning for their future relationship. It’s setting in modern setting too.
Thank you! @weicongee
FOUND? Recovery by Unforth (G, 27k, WangXian, Modern AU, Rabbit Breeder LWJ, Veteran LWJ, Veteran WWX, PTSD, therapy animals, Therapy Rabbits, LWJ is an Asshole Sometimes, Doctor WQ, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Former Prisoner of War WWX, LXC is a Good Brother, Gray Asexual LWJ, Anxiety Disorder)
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11. Hi hi! There's a modern au fic I'm looking for that I can't find no matter how many tag searches I do! It's a modern au where wwx gets drunk and sad bc he loves lwj and he doesn't think he cares for him back. Nhs calls lwj for a rise home for him, but wwx doesn't know its him and "services" him on the way home if you know what I mean
I think it ends with nhs texting one of them to talk to each other so they finally get together
FOUND?🔒Nie Huaisang plays cupid like a baller by KizuKatana (M, 10k, WangXian, Accidental drunken confession, Dirty Talk, sort of mistaken identity, Alcohol as a Coping Mechanism, so much pining, So many tropes)
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12. hello i am looking for a fic where lan wangji is a stripper and wei wuxian is the bodyguard who is protective of him, and it was probably xianwang @ahiku-chan
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13. hi! Last year I read a fic where Wei Ying is kept imprisoned or like in an unresponsive state in Jin Guangyao’s secret room behind the mirror. He’s accidentally consumes/cursed with a spell that requires him to have sex to stay alive? Jin Guangyao then calls Jiang Cheng to pick him up and they return to Lotus Pier where after a couple of days Wei Ying like I have to leave cause I don't deserve to be here. Lan Zhan then finds him in a state of delirium. That was the last update then. Thank you sm
FOUND? 🔒 The Return series by LtLJ (G, 63k, JC & WWX, wangxian, WWX & WQ, WN & WQ, Canon Divergence, Yunmeng Brothers Reconciliation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, YLLZ WWX, BAMF LWJ, five year old JL, ten year old LSZ, ten year old LJY, discussion of a canon suicide attempt, canon-typical curses, Angry sabre spirits, BAMF Everybody, Complicated Relationships, they're trying but they aren't there yet, BAMF NHS, Canon-Typical Behavior, Hurt/Comfort, WQ Lives, WWX & WQ Friendship, BFFs)
FOUND? till our ribs get tough by feelslikefire (E, 38k, JC/WWX, wangxian, WIP, Dubious Consent, Forced Feminization, magical pussy, Sex Pollen, Fuck Or Die, Possessive Behavior, Breeding Kink, Canon Divergence, Top JC, Top LWJ, Bottom WWX, Bondage, bondage via Zidian, Dubcon Somnophilia, WWX has possessive boyfriends but luckily he's into it, Intercrural Sex, Cunnilingus, Anal Sex, Spanking, Pussy Spanking, Dirty Talk, Porn With Plot, Oral Sex, Rough Sex) It has fuck or die and starts with Wei Wuxian being kept in the secret room
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14. Hi! I'm looking for a fic that I clicked on in tumblr (possibly through your page, I have no clue) read about half the first chapter put my phone down and then reloaded the app it went all the way back to the top of the feed, never to see the fic again 😭
It was a Canon divergence AU, WWX thought Something Was Probably Up when he got the invite to JL's one month celebration so went in disguise as a woman, and the first line was him hitting on LWJ, who obviously twigged almost right away and took him to an inn, and that was all I got to.
Sorry it's not much to go on but hopefully someone recognises it! Thank yooou 💕 @scenicpixie
FOUND! My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Crossdressing, Idiots in Love, Sharing a Bed, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)
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15. hi can u plshelp me find this fic it's driving me crazy as i don't remember the name
Basically wwx and lwj are already married but wwx wears a mask all the time and tbh they barely get to see each other like during the cave scene here lwj kept on deliriously calling his name they then kissed for the first time (they were already married during this)and then lwj pushed him away like literally ...
also they like had sex for the first time at where wwx was sitting w his ghost girls(they were already married during this too)...the ghost girls were still there this time lwj jus appeared wwx waxed poetry abt him jus standing there(who woudnt)he indirectly told wwx to not commit infidelity wwx seductively walked to him seduced him they fucked then wwx pushed him away literally and yea lwj went away
also wwx had adopted some babies too at the end i rmb
and yea during all this wwx wore tht fucking mask
FOUND? sounds like A Price to Pay by wangxianist which unfortunately has been deleted. 😭
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16. hellooo, i'm looking for a fic where wei ying came from new york (i think) it was somewhere in america to china. wei ying lives with lan zhan along with his uncle and brother. i still remember a scene where lan zhan asked wei ying to take off his shoes but he misunderstood and took off his pants instead lol. thanks!!!
FOUND? The Fifth Type of Non-Contact Force by Caixx (Not Rated, 83k, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Fluff and Humor, Actually Somewhat Canon, Mutual Pining, Horny Teenagers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Non-Graphic Smut)
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17. Hi, I'm not sure if this is how this works. If I'm doing it wrong please let me know.
I've been looking everywhere for a story where Wei Ying is a reincarnated phoenix and doesn't know it. He eventually finds out and because of everything he goes through, he's taken over by the pheonix, and the firebird part of him wants to destroy the world.
I remember the sects locked him in the Gusu caves while they tried to find out how to control him.
Eventually Lan Zhan figures out a loophole where the Phoenix/firebird agrees to hold off until Lan Zhan dies...and then Lan Zhan cultivates immortality as a loophole. I remember it was on AO3 and was complete.
I'd be grateful for any help you guys could give me. @vitolieltrue
FOUND? Breathing Firestorm by ladyshadowdrake (M, 110k, wangxian, angst, fluff, captivity, creepy WRH, no non-con, dreamsharing, politics, people making the best decisions they can, epic length, mythical creature WWX, canon-typical violence, dark, happy ending)
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18. Hii i have a fic i cant seem to find anymore T_T. It was modern, explicit, with genderbent wangxian and pretty much just smut. I have this vivid recollection of butch lan wangji with short hair sitting in a bar (?). Then (but this might be me confusing two fics together tbh) they agreed to a deal where lwj showed wwx how to kiss, how to be intimate etc, and theyd have lessons at lwj's house every few days or such.
FOUND! throw the keys back by dustyloves (E, 31k, wangxian, F/F, Gender Changes, Cisswap, Modern, College/University, The Porn Is the Plot, Virginity Kink, Dom/sub, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Sexting, Dirty Talk, Non-Consensual Spanking, Mild Painplay, Mutual Pining, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Under-negotiated Kink, despite the tags it's actually quite soft)
NOT FOUND! sideways by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 20k, wangxian, F/F, Modern, Cisswap, butch dyke LWJ, Casual Sex, not so casual sex, many many orgasms, Fingerfucking, Cunnilingus, strap-on sex, So much kissing, WWX gets rekt, straight girl WWX, except for how she isn't)
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19. For the fic finder, I saw someone mention a fic in which after LWJ and WWX wander off with their donkey in the novel epilogue, they come back and find that LWJ's been voted Chief Cultivator behind his back. He does not take this well. Does anyone know of it? @kedaliya
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20. Hey I'm looking for this fic where either WY or LZ is a camboy and the other accidentally finds the account. They subscribe and continues to watch their channel behind their back.
But the camboy eventually finds out and they have a fight regarding respect and boundaries. All is well in the end but the camboy is extremely disappointed the other went behind his back to watch his channel and pretended like he didn't know anything. The other party apologises.
Does it ring any bell? @imstillthinkingaboutithmm
FOUND? For a Good Time, Call by ScarlettStorm (E, 170k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Pining, Porn, like in the writing and also as a plot point, onlyfans au, repressed LWJ, sex worker WWX, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Background ChengQing, background NieLan, background XuanLi, Nonbinary NHS)
FOUND? ❤️ All Old Things are New Again by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (M, 52k, wangxian, modern, reincarnation, sugar daddy, kink negotiation, gentle dom LWJ) HGBun has reached immortality and finally finds WWX reincarnated
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pansear-doodles · 1 year
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-> Pansear ; any pronoun ; genderfluid bisexual (taken) ; Neurodivergent ; 21 ; April 9 ; Local Filipino
-> GAD and MDD (Please be patient with me, thank you)
-> If I blocked you(usually because you blocked me first or because I thought your account was a bot) and you wish to be unblocked, please lmk on an alternate account or friend.
Welcome to my blog. There's lots of important stuff under keep reading. So if you care and have the time, do read.
-> Hello. I'm Pansear. I have done stupid shit but also cool shit, and stupid cool shit. My stupid shit don't mean I'm being malicious- I think most of the time I was just silly or very emotional about it. I really like to draw, play specific video games, and enjoy animated content like movies and cartoons. I think animals are cool, plants are cool, sharks and aquatic creatures are cool, and for some reason I really like vending machines (I think they are exciting). I like to make food and eat them, and even draw them. I like video game music and music with guitars and bass in them. I really like plushies and collect those of my favorite characters.
-> Oh and speaking of Favorite characters... They're my blorbos alright and sometimes I accidentally project onto them. These blorbos include: Werewolf Cookie (Cookie Run), Legoshi (Beastars; look I even share birthdays with him!), Nick Wilde (Zootopia), Plague Knight (Shovel Knight), Artificer and Hunter (Rain World), Ichimatsu Matsuno (Osomatsu-san), Foxy the Pirate (FNAF), Pinkie Pie (MLP), Spamton (Deltarune), and a bunch of goth/edgy backstory and generally edgy/tired old men from Pokemon like Nanu and Larry. I could go on more but just know that if the character looks like they deserve some sort of hug, 90% of the time they're likely my most favorite character.
-> A troubled person trying to get by in college. Currently seeking therapy and found support with many lovely individuals (my friends!) and making some form of progress to fix myself. My primary form of coping is drawing and making stories where the characters fight similar struggles as mine (They are essentially my Earthbound Flying Men). This is one of the reasons why I make a lot of art and draw fast- It is not to chug out content- I just draw fast and a lot. Well... I used to draw fast, but with the advice of many, I'm taking it easy.
-> I also like to play video games and listen to music repeatedly until I get bored to help cheer me up. I do not want to go into detail about my trauma and its details and progression shouldn't be everyone's priority to know. I'm here in the internet to have fun and maybe earn incentives along the way, and whenever I get tired, I dock out until I feel better.
-> I'm not looking for attention, especially those that spout negativity. Let me know of anything that concerns you and don't be afraid to be honest. I don't want to hurt people, but I will bite if prompted or cornered. I apologize if my episodes do leak out and cause worries, and I apologize that I may go on manic, narcissistic and overzealous tangents at times. It may be hard to control my emotions, but it doesn't excuse it.
-> Most things I say are gender neutral and loose. Don't take everything too seriously. Sometimes my distinctions in art and portrayals are not clear to people so please browse with an open mind. I also might not know certain subjects for cultural and personal reasons, so if you wish to educate me on some manners, please do- I never mean anything malicious in my work. Feel free to request tags.
-> Everyone has the right to share and use my art anywhere as long as I am credited. (there are some exceptions to this such as using them for monetary purposes or using them for malicious intent)
-> For anyone who is willing to be patient, kind, and understanding of me, thank you. You make my journey less scary. I hope it isn't weird to say "I love you" platonically, and to a stranger nonetheless! I think, even on brief times, everyone deserves a form of appreciation, especially for taking the time to read all of this, haha. I have done a lot of mistakes in the past, and people who are mature and understanding of the such are to be treasured. I truly believe it is important to know that everyone here is only human, who all went through different experiences and learning journeys, and you are only human too.
🌈Links -> Commissions CLOSED -> Support me (Ko-fi) -> Support me (Patreon) -> ✨Patreon Supporters List✨ -> Linktree -> Carrd
🌈Content Resources -> Rain World Shipping Name Masterlist (semi-outdated) -> Rain World Art Archives -> Rain World Emotes F2U -> My First Artihunter Comic -> Rain World Anthro AU Series -> Follower Contract (funny)
~Common Blog Tags and their meanings~
#my art - A majority of art I made use this tag.
#gift - Stuff made for me and sometimes for other people. Sometimes the gift comes from the creation of it, so some posts can have that too if I find that criteria.
#my anthro au, #anthro au - My Rain World Anthro AU uses these tags. The former is the new one that specifies my au in particular. The older tag is mixed in with other anthro aus people have.
#oc - Occasional posts containing my very original stuff.
#thoughts - Posts that have my random rambles. Somewhat unimportant but my mind works like that. However, since my second personal blog, these posts will be less frequent.
#rw shipping, #shipping - As most of you know, I am a shipper and I actively participate in doing it. My blog is filled with shipping content and I'm very vocal about #artihunter . This is not the only thing I do though, but if you do not wish to see it, I would tag such posts as this so people can filter them. Please lmk if I forget to tag.
#vent - This and the self harm tags used to be prevalent in this blog. I realized that these are things that shouldn't be revealed so publicly, and in front of the potentially vulnerable. This MIGHT come in rarely, but I'm hoping that not anymore from here on out. I'm sorry to those who witnessed such tags.
Occasionally, this blog may tackle sensitive and more mature topics (which would be tagged as such). This does not mean this blog is completely full of that. If you have any issue with them or if you wish for me to tag them, please let me know!
Out of everything, thank you for supporting my content and acknowledging my humanity, sincerely.
I have more to say. If you are willing to hear it.
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kimdokjas · 9 months
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why you should read Mystic Prince if you enjoyed ORV
Mystic Prince / Prince of Myolyeong (묘령의 황자) is a fantasy and action-adventure manhwa with art & story by Aheuredal (아흐레달) and in my humble opinion, an absolute hidden gem. it's literally one the best manhwas i've ever read (among the top 2) and i've finally gathered my thoughts enough to try to articulate why i love it so much, and hopefully convince you to give it a chance!
here's the official summary on webtoon:
An immortal emperor rules the Kingdom of Yeol, a divine country blessed by gods with awesome powers. After a thousand years of peaceful rule, the time has come for a new emperor to be chosen. This is determined by a series of trials, in which twenty princes with special powers who have trained since birth must compete. As all princes of varying personalities and agendas gather to partake in the trials, intrigue and possibly even bloodshed seem all but certain. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the other princes, the Fourth Prince Jeok-yeon Ryu hides a secret he must guard with his life.
anyway i literally made a carrd for this, that's how much i care about this manhwa and i worked very hard on it!! you can find the carrd here*
(* also if you hate daily pass like me pls note that there's a fan translation as well! just keep in mind that some episodes have ost but you can find the links to youtube on the carrd as well. but if you enjoy it please do try to leave likes, comments, and a good rating on webtoon to support the creator!)
Mystic Prince is incredibly unique in terms of story and execution that i can't really compare it to anything else but here's why i think you'll enjoy it, especially if you also liked orv:
strong-willed MC who's not naturally skilled but works extremely hard
said MC is willing to suffer and hurt themselves to achieve their goals (aka kim dokja-esque tendencies)
seemingly cold and aloof ML with yoo joonghyuk vibes at first, naturally gifted and seems to look down on everyone
...but is actually head over heels for MC and just doesn't know how to express his feelings
ensemble cast of incredibly complex and well-developed characters with different personalities and motivations
MC seems a little dense at times but they have a tragic backstory that explains why they're Like That
incredibly bisexual vibes !! like literally off the charts
slowburn romance that is cooking up such a great meal
MC and ML have actually known each other for centuries
characters go through trials that involve risking death
extremely unique lore and world-building
i said ML before but there are actually multiple potential MLs with how much complexity all the character dynamics have
beautiful character designs (literally over 10+ within the main cast and they're all so unique)
evocative writing and heartfelt monologues that seem taken out of a book of pure poetry
narratively significant motifs of fire and water (à la orv's black/white and reader/protagonist)
profound and realistic depiction of the inner feelings and troubles that the characters go through
incredibly heart-wrenching original soundtrack! (actually made me cry)
some of the most gorgeous art i've seen in any manhwa (seriously pls just open the 1st episode and look at the first few panels)
[spoilers below for chapter ~10]
delicious gender fuckery
MC is actually cross-dressing afab (i personally hc them as genderqueer; korean doesn't have gendered pronouns but the official tl uses she/her pronouns)
bonus: they're built like a fucking tank (as seen here) like hello??? which is so refreshing to see for an afab MC
plus they're also canonically lacking in empathy but still deeply compassionate which again is really refreshing
i'm sure there's even more stuff i'm forgetting but these are just some reasons off the top of my head why i think this manhwa is so amazing
please do give Mystic Prince a chance, it's an absolute delight!! there are multiple beautiful covers but here's a couple of them, BE ART BAITED <3
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and finally some of my personal reactions to Mystic Prince and also a note regarding the content warnings under the cut!
feel free to skip this part lol but personally when i look for recs, i love when people tell me their emotional reactions and how passionate they are about it! so if this tells you anything,
this is the ONLY manhwa to have made me cry so far (yes that includes the orv webtoon, but not the novel ofc) like actually ugly sobbing with snot and tears and everything lmao
(it's not all sad though! this manhwa will have you clutching your heart one moment and then cackling out loud the next)
and it's also the ONLY manhwa i've ever spent actual money on before the fan tl picked it up just so i could read the advanced chapters (i'm notoriously cheap so this says a lot imo)
and i'm not alone in this, every other comment on webtoon is people saying the exact same thing. the general consensus is that this is 100% a hidden gem (webtoon DP my behated why'd you have to shoot yourself in the foot like that)
also regarding the content warnings on the carrd: this was my first time making a list of cws (i don't think anyone else has made one yet?) and i was a little hesitant to add them, so i sincerely apologize if i missed anything!! if anyone else has anything else to add (cws or otherwise) then please feel free to send me a message and i'll be happy to edit it!!
(btw this was inspired by this post which is also a great summary for why u should read a cnovel called mist unlimited)
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spidey-x-male-reader · 7 months
Note
Howdy! Could i make a request for arsenal Roy harper from young justice?
Lian is adamant that reader is her uncle Roys boyfriend.
Reader teases Roy about it everytime it happens (for this, I'd prefer that Roy is coming to terms with being bisexual, and reader is also bi)
Pairing: Roy Harper x male!reader
Summary: Roy is babysitting Lian when she once again refers to you as his boyfriend. shenanigans ensue
A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAA Finally I have written something again and hopefully I will manage to do it more in the next time. I will probably work on my Roy Harper Requests first because...well...he's my husband. Thank you for everyone who's supporting me :3
REQUESTS ARE OPEN
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Roy Harper was leaning against the kitchen counter, watching Lian, his niece, bouncing around the room with boundless energy. Well…he called her his niece. At some point he just got tired of the whole ‘Yeah i got cloned and that clone had a child with an assassin’-talk. But he liked Lian. He really did.
"Uncle Roy!" Lian's voice cut through his thoughts as she came to a skidding halt in front of him. "When is (y/n) coming over again?"
Roy raised an eyebrow, trying to suppress a smile. He almost hated how easy the mention of you made him smile. "Why, Lian? Getting bored of me already?"
Lian giggled at that. "Maybe! And besides, I wanna show them my new art project."
"Your art project, huh? You know I’m really not sure if (y/n) has time to come by today. You know how busy he is with Uncle Dick and the whole crew”
Of course Roy loved Lian. He loved hanging out with her, even if babysitting was not on his usual agenda. But the thought of you being out there on a mission without him made him…he wasn’t sure. He didn’t like it.
Lian's eyes widened innocently. "He’s there without you? I thought he was your boyfriend.”
Roy nearly choked on the glass of water he had been drinking, caught off guard by Lian's bluntness. At this point it shouldn’t even surprise him anymore. Lian did mention it a lot. He had no idea what made her so insistent that he was dating you.
It wasn’t even realistic considering you were way out of his league. (he would never say that outloud)
"Well, Lian," and of course in that exact moment you had returned to Will’s apartment because who are you to say no when the little girl begs you to come by. Roy was hoping you hadn’t heard anything but his hopes weren’t high. "I don't know about being Uncle Roy's boyfriend, but I do like spending time with him."
Lian's face lit up with excitement. "See, I told you!" She pointed at Roy, triumphant. "I knew it!"
Roy rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a warmth creep up his cheeks. "He said he likes hanging out. He also likes hanging out with Dick and Will and Kaldur.”
You chuckled and draped an arm around Roy's shoulders. "He’s right, Lian. Cut your uncle Roy a break. We’re just good buddies.” you looked over at him, giving him a quick wink. “Even though I do like hanging out with him the most.”
Lian rolled her eyes dramatically, clearly unconvinced. "Sure, just good buddies. Like I believe that."
Roy groaned playfully. "You're impossible, you know that?"
You just chuckled. “Wonder who she got that from.” he lightly hit Roy in his side with your elbow. “Surely not from Roy Harper who never manages to keep his mouth shut.”
“Hey!” He gave you a playful pout.
“To be fair, Will isn’t better so it might just be the Harper gene.”
“Oh wait, I can show you the picture I drew!” Lian grinned and skipped out of the room, leaving you and Roy alone. 
Roy sighed, looking at you with a mix of exasperation and affection.
"You know, one of these days, she's gonna get it into her head that she's some kind of matchmaker."
You laughed, leaning in to bump your shoulder against Roy's. "Well, can you blame her? She's got a great judge of character. Can’t blame her for wanting me in the family either. Do you have like…arrow family game nights"
Roy's gaze softened as he met your eyes, not being able to hold back from giving you a soft smile. "You're something else, you know that?"
You winked again. “I’m gonna take this as a compliment, Arsenal.”
The way you looked at him made his heart skip and it was hard to deny that he had some feelings towards you. 
You knew of course. Or at least you thought about it. You were the last person to just assume Roy’s sexuality especially after the guy apparently had been frozen on ice for some time and now had to pick up on all the stupid shit you do as a teenager. 
Like figuring out your sexuality which you thankfully already had behind you. And you were really glad about that. Because you know how hard it is. Especially if you have literal world ending scenarios to worry about.
He opened his mouth to say something when Lian raced back into the room.
“Here, Uncle (y/n)! Look!” she said and held up a piece of paper to you.
Roy leaned over your shoulder to also catch a look at it. His breath hitched in his throat.
It was the usual colorful and stickman drawing you would expect of a small child. It took you a few seconds but you eventually managed to recognize the figures in the picture. The small one and the big one were Lian and Will. There were Oliver and Dinah, and Chesire on the other side. And on the far left of the drawing were two figures that were unmistakably you and Roy, holding the others stickman hands and having a few hearts drawn around each other.
You moved to kneel down in front of Lian. “This is really beautiful.”
“You like it?!” her eyes were basically glowing.
“We like it, right?” you looked up at Roy.
Roy was a bit speechless for a moment, hoping no one was able to see the faint blush on his cheeks. “Yeah…yeah it’s nice.”
“Yay!” she excitedly started jumping around in a circle.
That’s when you heard your front door open. “What are we being excited about?” Willa asked while walking in.
“I draw (y/n) a picture! He likes it!” Lian said with a wide grin, running over to her dad.
“Really? That’s–” Will stopped when he looked at you and Roy. “...are you two crying?”
And you were TOTALLY NOT getting really emotional over the child’s drawing of you.
“No.” both you and Roy said at the same time.
“...ooookay” Will slowly nodded. “Well..eh…thank you for babysitting, Roy.”
“No problem.” Roy awkwardly looked at you.
You looked at him at the same moment before looking at your watch. “...I know this really great Italian place. Hungry?”
“Are you paying?”
“Aren’t you using Ollie’s credit card? Isn’t he like a billionaire?”
Roy looked at you for a moment. “...good point. Let’s go.” 
With that Will watched you two leave the apartment after you both said goodbye to Lian.
“...they are going on a date, aren’t they?” he looked down at Lian.
“No. They are just very good buddies.” she giggled while going back into her room to get another picture she drew for her dad.
Will just decided not to question it.
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batmanego · 1 year
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SO YOU'RE TIRED OF BATMAN: AN INTRODUCTORY GUIDE TO DC SUPERHEROES
one of the most common things i hear when trying to get people to read comics is that they're just not that into batman. which boggles my mind! not because i'm a huge batman fan -- which i am, but i can understand why people might not be interested in his comics -- but because it's insane to me that batman (or superman, or wonder woman, or any other dc superhero they've made a movie about) is people's default perception of dc superheroes.
there's a whole world out there! and if you're intimidated by the big superheroes, or uninterested in their stories, or even if you like them but you're looking for something different, this is the guide for you. without further ado, i present:
DC MINUS THE BIG THREE: A FIELD GUIDE FOR THE DISENCHANTED AND DISINTERESTED
DOOM PATROL (1987)
to nobody's surprise, doom patrol is first on my list of recommendations. it's a comic book about a group of disabled people who have been labeled freaks, weirdos, or otherwise undesirable by society, coming together to save a world that doesn't care about them because there has to be beauty in it somewhere.
good for: well, i'll let the introduction quote do the talking. “remember when all the other kids on the block had superman and batman as positive role modes? well, if you could only identify with a human brain in a metal body or a guy wrapped up in bandages, and if you grew up weird, welcome home. you’re among friends now.”
read doom patrol here. trigger warnings for: ableism, child sexual abuse, medical abuse, transphobia.
2. HELLBLAZER (1988) BUT ONLY THE FIRST 41 ISSUES OK?
hellblazer is a 300 issue long comic book, mostly comprised of dogshit stories by dogshit writers. i am recommending it because i genuinely think the first 41 issues are art. please do not do as i did and read all of hellblazer. you won't survive the experience. ok? ok.
hellblazer is a comic about aging punk magician/occultist john constantine trying desperately to sort out his life in late 80s london while constantly being beset by poor life choices, poverty, and also lots and lots and lots and lots of demons.
good for: punks, anarchists, fans of the occult, enemies of aleister crowley, anyone who has a personal vendetta against margaret thatcher.
read hellblazer here, BUT STOP READING AFTER THE FIRST 41 ISSUES OK? trigger warnings for: literally almost everything you can imagine, but specifically discussions of child sexual abuse are prominent in the original sins run. also, it was written by a white man in the 80s, so it suffers from "white man in the 80s" syndrome.
3. WILDCATS (1999)
"FERRIS", some of you comic book knowers cry, "WILDCATS IS WILDSTORM NOT DC". to that i say Shut the fuck up DC acquired the rights to the wildstorm universe it's close e-fucking-nough.
wildcats 1999 is about cole cash (a conman and ex-special ops man), hadrian 7 (an alien robot posing as a human named jack marlowe), and noir (a bisexual ex-arms dealer from france who talks in the third person) picking up the pieces of the OLD wildcats team after they all found out they were soldiers in a war that ended before most of them were born and nobody bothered to tell them, and trying to 1) run a company and 2) save the world.
good for: people who hate the military, tacky sci-fi fans, anyone who wishes guys would suck more, anyone interested in the horrors of war.
read wildcats 1999 here.
4. SLEEPER
"ferris i want to leave wildstorm" too fucking bad. we're talking about sleeper right now.
sleeper is about holden carver, an undercover agent in the world's largest underground crime organization/network, who gets stuck undercover when his handler (the only guy who knows he's undercover and not just a traitor) gets shot and put in a coma. it is about grappling with your own morality, losing faith in your ideals, and (like most wildstorm properties), how war is a pointless exercise in horror.
good for: fans of spy thrillers, evil women enjoyers, evil men enjoyers, anyone who has ever thought they could make someone worse, people who want bad things to happen to people in power.
read sleeper season 1 here, and then sleeper season 2 here. trigger warnings for pedophilia (the pedophile gets beat to death in issue 2), homophobia, and child abuse.
5. THE AUTHORITY (1999)
stop crying we're almost done with wildstorm. the authority is a comic book about 6 super-people (who are very loose parodies of the justice league) forming a self-described "anarchist cell" to operate against the wishes and outside the influence of earth's governments to defend the planet against extraterrestrial threats and handle human rights violations.
good for: political science fans, good sci-fi enjoyers, people who think batman and superman should have kissed instead of making a million movies, people in polyamorous six-ples.
read the authority here. trigger warning for "this writer probably shouldn't have written this asian nation like this", homophobia, sexual abuse.
6. SUICIDE SQUAD (1987)
hey, remember how i was talking about wildcats? imagine the same sort of themes of wildcats (the horrors of war, the effects of being in the military, american imperialism, what it means to be a hero or even a good person), and then apply them to the worst group of people you've ever had the displeasure of being in the same room as, and they all fucking hate each other. suicide squad is about a bunch of incarcerated villains being "recruited" (forced) into working hero-missions for the government, because nobody will miss them if they die.
good for: villain apologists, people who (in the immortal words of hack/slash) think "there just aren't enough big mean women in comics", and this guy:
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[ID: a comment on read comics online by “the king of anime” reading, “I want to give this a try would it be worth it”. end ID.]
read suicide squad here. trigger warning for, again "white man in the 80s syndrome", along with... probably pretty much everything else imaginable (it's been a while since i read this!)
7. STARMAN (1994)
starman is a story told with the drama of a theater production about jack knight, a late-20s to early-30s punk antiques dealer who gets the mantle of starman (a well-known superhero from the golden age) thrust upon him suddenly. it is a story about legacy, family duties, identity, and most importantly about being kind of a loser who gets shot at all the fucking time.
good for: sci-fi fans who are too proud to admit they also like fantasy, rock opera listeners, family disappointments, single fathers.
read starman here. trigger warning for sexual assault.
8. ARKHAM CITY: THE ORDER OF THE WORLD (2021)
"ferris you said no batman" i did. i did not say no batman villains.
arkham city: the order of the world focuses on some of batman's lesser-known foes, and the fallout of arkham asylum collapsing. i can't really explain it more than that, but it is good and legitimately unnerving at times.
good for: horror fans, enemies of the psychiatric system, villain enjoyers, people who live in new york city.
read arkham city: the order of the world here.
9. THE SHADE (1997) and THE SHADE (2012)
hey, remember starman? want a series about the old immortal victorian man with an "ambiguous sexuality" from it? okay. the shade (1997) follows his origins: specifically, his long-standing beef with one specific family. the shade (2012) is a sort of cross-country whodunnit as the shade tries to track down who is trying (and failing) to murder him.
good for: bisexual enjoyers, dramatic theater kids, vampire fans, goths, people who would have fucked lord byron given the opportunity.
read the shade (1997) here, and the shade (2012) here.
10. METAL MEN (2007)
lastly (but not least), a comic featuring will magnus from doom patrol. metal men (2007) is... a complicated story. it's about robots? it's about being mentally ill. it's about a guy who is so divorced forever. it's about being a little loser guy. it's about time travel, and terrible relationships with your brother. it's hard to describe. but it's fun.
good for: bad sci-fi enjoyers, people who can understand the timeline of looper, robot fans, anyone who has ever been consumed by a desire to create.
read metal men (2007) here.
BONUS:
not included in this list because batman is there, i encourage everyone to have a look at the original justice league international series. it is a superhero comedy. it is silly and stupid and i love it.
OKAY, THAT'S ALL! THANKS FOR READING!
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undead-supernova · 1 month
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HIGH TOLERANCE
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Masterlist
important note: this is a one-off of my High Tolerance series! I suggest reading everything else to understand what the hell is happening and why this is important to the story hehehe!
warnings: fluff to the nines with a hint of desire, smoking weed (obviously), body image mention, death mention
pairings: modern!bestfriend!Eddie x bisexual!fem!reader
plot: this is the one where you and Eddie smoke weed together for the first time--well, amongst other silly little firsts (about five months after they first met)
this was already something I'd been thinking of but I heard the song Close One by FIZZ and it is so Eddie and Weirdo coded it's crazy
wc: 4.8k
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Eddie watched as you took a few steps past the door, walking slowly as if you were in some art gallery. Tentative steps that echoed off his empty walls and unsettled wooden floors. Noticing the hum of the air conditioning and birds chirping near the windowsill.
This was the first time you’d been in his new apartment.
There were boxes everywhere, some half-opened, others not at all. You’d insisted that you could help him with the move, but he’d shaken his head. Told you that Steve, Jeff, Gareth, and Grant could do it. Told you that you’d be his first house guest once he got everything figured out.
But, uh. Well.
There were boxes in every corner. No table. Only a plank of wood on top of two extra-large boxes in front of a TV being held up by yet another box. But he loved it. This was the first place he could call his home, no matter how shitty or overpriced the place was. He had a view of the street and a place to put his amp. A fridge with next to no food. A mattress with no frame. 
It wasn’t exactly a palace and Eddie knew that. But it was his.
“This is a fucking palace if I’ve ever seen one,” you said, turning to see Eddie leaning up against the door. His eyebrows raised. “I’m surprised you don’t have any guards standing outside. What if a dragon gets in?”
The smile you gave him was playful, without a hint of judgment. 
“Guess I’ll have to slay it with my bare hands,” Eddie replied, finally pushing himself off the door to flex his nonexistent muscles.
“Wow,” you said, placing your hands over your heart. “I’m shaking in my little boots.”
“What can I say?”
Eddie gave you a grand tour of his studio apartment, which consisted of walking about twenty steps to the bedroom before turning to the bathroom and coming right back to the surprisingly spacious kitchen but tiny living room. 
The two of you mainly stood at the small island separating the kitchen and living room, leaning over with your chins propped up by your hands. Discussing where to put his Dio and Iron Maiden posters. Contemplated going to the thrift store for a couch. Wondered if you could change the upholstery yourselves if you didn’t like the fabric but loved the feel. Decided you were too stupid to even try to figure that out. 
By the time you checked your phone, it was nearing evening.
“Should we cook dinner?” you asked. “I’m hungry as fuck.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Cook?”
Eddie didn’t know much about cooking. Robin and Steve had been the ones to stock the fridge and take turns at the stove. Eddie was merely there to watch or be called to meals, savoring every last bite like he could wake up the next morning without the access again.
A part of him was still reeling from Spaghettios and whatever low-priced high fructose corn syrup meal Wayne left in the pantry. There was nothing like spending nights by the shitty TV eating saltine crackers and peanut butter. Sometimes blocks of cheese when Wayne wanted to try making sandwiches before work—but those attempts never lasted very long.
“Yeah, like we could make chicken Alfredo and some garlic bread.”
He shrugged. “I was thinking like, you know, takeout or something. There’s a Thai place across the street.”
You gave him a weird look. “Do you not cook?”
“Uh, no. I don’t really know how.”
“Chicken?” He shook his head. “Pasta?” Another shake.
You nodded, walking over to pick up your purse. “If you’re going to be living alone, I think I should at least teach you how to cook pasta, chicken, and bread.”
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“We,” you started, fiddling with your keys. “are going to the grocery store.”
Eddie groaned, dramatically falling to the floor. “I fucking haaaaate going to the grocery store. It takes fucking forever out here.”
You smiled with an eye roll. “Get up, you dramatic queen.”
He sighed, letting you help him to his feet before grabbing his wallet and keys. 
“The one and only.”
“Mm. Yeah, well you haven’t gone to the grocery store with me. I’ll show you the way.”
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You truly were a wizard when it came to navigating the grocery store in fifteen minutes or less. Kroger was your bitch and he respected the hell out of that. On top of it all, you explained how to shop cheap as you whisked him around. You never grabbed his hand, settling for his wrist. 
Was it weird that he felt a sting of disappointment?
Despite this, he loved watching you move, watching you move him.
Bakery.
You hummed, fingers ghosting over the different breads. “See, you get the bread that’s a dollar or two, the ones that are on sale because they’re a few days out from going bad,” you explained, plucking a French baguette out of one of the top shelves. “That way,” you turned to him. “you’re saving money and have enough for a few days.”
Aisle 14.
“So, you get that cheap fettuccine,” you said, crouching down to grab the generic brand before immediately popping back up. “It really doesn’t matter anyways. Well, as long as you cook it all the way through.”
Produce.
“You have garlic?” you asked. 
Eddie only shook his head, almost embarrassed at the idea that he was supposed to have it.
But you just smiled. 
“No problemo. I didn’t either before someone showed me.” Grabbing a giant jar of minced garlic, you chucked it in the basket. “This will last you a long, long time. I haven’t gotten another bottle in months and I use it in just about everything.”
Meat.
“Always grab the ones that are on sale since they’re going bad sooner. It’s still good and you can just cook it up to use for a few more meals if you’d like. Should we get you tortillas? I feel like you could get good at making a mean quesadilla.”
Eddie rolled his eyes, watching the ingredient list stack up, wondering how much everything was about to cost. 
“Next time.”
“Next time,” you promised.
And after grabbing heavy whipping cream, mozzarella, parmesan, and basic spices for the alfredo sauce, claiming that you were able to make more than what a jar could provide him, you headed to the self-checkout. You insisted on buying everything despite his protests. Even cooking pans and spatulas. 
“You really don’t have to.”
“I have a Kroger card. You’re saving me, like, fifty cents on gas.” As you scanned, you added, “Consider it a housewarming gift.” 
Eddie didn’t know what to think about your kindness, the way you were able to just give to him without a second thought. It was a friendship that seemed beyond the realm of tough boundaries. You were able to help and provide your support without asking anything in return. Without thought, without any demand of him. Offering aid, leading with an open mind and heart. 
It occurred to Eddie that he still didn’t know what to think of you.
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“Always use butter,” you stated, giving him a serious stare. “You will fuck up your nice new pans and your chicken if you use oil.”
As he watched you cook, with a little furrow between your eyebrows as you focused, Eddie couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have this be a regular occurrence. If he could always have you here, cooking and laughing with him. Dancing around the small space to Nova Twins and Black Sabbath all the time, using his spatula as a multi-purpose tool—a cooking utensil, a microphone and a guitar.
“Are you even paying attention?”
“Ah, yeah, sorry.”
“Yes, what?”
Eddie snorted. “Yes, chef.”
But there was a little something he couldn’t shake, noticing for the first time how your black babydoll dress fit you, with lace dripping down below the hemline. His eyes traced down your body as you preoccupied yourself, a new sort of heat reaching his cheeks. It was starting to move further through him, finding its way down, down, down…
Without thinking, Eddie shook his head and opened the cabinet next to you, placing a wooden box on the counter. It was littered with stickers, chipped and nicked from being used and moved so often. As he lifted the top, the aroma of cannabis hit the two of you like a particularly brutal wave.
“Woah, there!” you said, looking down with wide eyes. “What do you have there, Mr. Munson?”
Your reaction was nearly unreadable. He couldn’t blame you. There was a stockpile, with cones and papers and a few edibles and rolled joints. Little jars full of bud. An extra pack of cigarettes.
He hadn’t really thought about what you’d think about it or if you smoked at all. As he combed through his memory, he found no recollection of you mentioning it at all since you’d met.
“Oh, uh,” he mumbled, continuing to pull out a particularly pretty joint. “You smoke?”
Something in his stomach twisted when he saw a wide grin reach your lips. Because, Jesus, you were cute. Had he really not noticed just how cute you were until then? He did everything he could to prevent the heat from returning, but the steam omitting from the stove was making it worse.
“Do I smoke?” you teased. “I can’t believe you just asked me that.”
Relief ran through him at your banter, knowing he picked you well when he asked to be your best friend. “I didn’t know!”
“I clearly didn’t show you my bong collection. That’s my bad.”
That pulled a laugh out of Eddie. 
Being around you was just as easy as being around Wayne. It was something resembling familial, but for some reason today was beginning to show him that it extended far beyond that. It was like with each passing moment spent in each other’s company, the definitions and adjectives were shifting and stretching into something he couldn’t quite articulate. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
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“What the fuck are they even saying?” As Eddie looked at the name of the album on your phone, Этажи, he added, “How do you even pronounce that?”
You shrugged. “I don’t fucking know. But it’s cool, right? Like, this is goth music from Belarus. Belarus. Isn’t that cool? The guitars, the fuzzy feeling. The baur-dunnunununun,” you sang along, imitating playing the drums. You were actually quite rhythmic, able to follow along to the beat perfectly. “I listen to this on repeat all the time. It’s so addictive.”
Since the two of you finished dinner and split a joint, you had gone on a full on mission to induct Eddie into the world of goth rock. The Eighties classics, the recents. Bauhaus, Joy Division, Siouxsie and the Banshees, London After Midnight, She Wants Revenge, Alien Sex Fiend, etc etc. 
At first, Eddie was opposed to the whole thing, extremely disinterested. But you were adamant to keep going, to delve into the subculture and expose him to the magic. The dancing began to make sense to him, watching as you gave a demonstration. Your face angled towards the floor, your arms high. Wrists twisting and turning as you swayed back and forth. The lace moved and twirled wherever you went, your outfit fitting the music perfectly.
He was starting to understand, with each string of poetic lyricism and atmospheric stroke of the guitar—the same thing he’d always seen in Black Sabbath. The outfits, the makeup. The defiance against modern society and culture. The romanticism, the guttural heartbreak. The yearning. Pining. The desperation for something pure and lovely to hold onto. It was something else, something special all on its own and his judgment had been extremely unwarranted. 
“I didn’t get what you meant before about it having its own sound, but that’s on me,” he admitted. “I’m sorry for being a little bitch.”
Your smile grew as you continued dancing around him, eyes never leaving his. Eddie turned to hold your eye contact as you swayed, nearly mesmerized by your movement. He wanted to blame it on the haze of the weed, but something scratching at his brain told him it was just you.
“That’s the last time you doubt me, alright?” you said, seemingly closer than before. This time, you were dancing even slower as you circled him. It was starting to make his mouth dryer than it was already.
“The last time, indeed,” he responded.
Your playlist started over, the haunting beginning to “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” filling Eddie with an odd sense of ease. It was kind of like metal, but stripped down. The beat never stopped moving, always pushing forward in a soothing way. What the hell did they pump into these songs?
“Look at us, unplugged from the outside world,” he said with a little laugh as the two of you sat down on the floor. Your backs against the wall, cross-legged. “We’re so cool and different.”
You raised an eyebrow at him, a smile never leaving your lips. “I’m usually unplugged when I’m not at work.”
This was news to him. You were always quick to answer his texts whenever you were off, always at a rapid fire pace. In fact, it was unusual if you weren’t texting him back. 
But Eddie decided to keep that to himself, letting you continue.
“Everyone is so loud these days.” You began to gesture with your hands, nearly hitting his arm. “‘This is the right opinion. No, this is. Who said what. This stranger is too judgmental, this one isn’t critical enough. Oh, look, this celebrity is wearing something. Wanna hear about a YouTuber you don’t give a shit about having beef with another YouTuber you don’t give a shit about?
“‘Want to make money dancing to sped up classics? Well, how about we do it so much that artists are rearranging their already awesome music to appease an audience. Let’s bully kids. Let’s doxx people. Did you see this? What about that? Well, why aren’t you online? Do you not care? Here’s the news. Oh, wait, that’s the wrong news. Someone famous is having a baby. A Kardashian just broke up with someone, can you believe it? Let’s make body sizes a trend and follow every celebrity who has changed their appearance to fit a fad. Skinny’s in, skinny is still in but you’re allowed to have a few curves. Fuck it, it’s cool to look sick. Here’s an Eighties trend, here’s Y2k.’”
You paused, taking a deep breath. “And then suddenly you’ve spent your whole day spiraling from an existential crisis about the lack of control you have. Feeling fucked up because we were not designed to go this fast. And then suddenly you’re wondering if you’ll ever be able to just frolic in a field like we were built to. If we have a future at all.” 
With a final sigh, you shook your head. “Sorry, I get a little intense sometimes when I smoke. But, yeah, I think I’m gonna try to block out the noise before the whole internet explodes and there’s nothing left but scraps and archives.”
Eddie nodded, understanding your thoughts completely. He’d never been one to care about social media or the internet in general. Hell, he hadn’t gotten a smartphone until he got his first real paycheck here. The most he did was read the newspaper, no shit, and get help from his friends whenever he was in rotation to do promo for the band on their socials. His brain was usually filled to the brim with racing thoughts anyways, never needing the outside world coming in.
Well, until he walked into a bar and met you.
“What do you do then?” he asked.
Shrugging, you said, “I like to get high and cook while listening to music. Read books and listen to music. Journal. Go to some local shows to find new bands. Drink coffee at local places and listen to music. A lot of it has to do with listening to music.” Eddie couldn’t help but smile. “It’s the only thing that really seems to make sense anymore. Spotify tells me I listen to music more than, like, ninety percent of people, but I think they’re lying to make me feel cool.”
Eddie laughed. “Don’t go all conspiratorial on me this early in the smoke session.”
As you wiggled your fingers in his face, your voice went low. “Listen to my words, Eddie Boy! These are no longer theories, but facts! Tinfoil hats are sexy! Oooooh, spooky! Creeeeepy!”
Eddie rolled his eyes, shooing your hands away. “Okay, okay. Enough with whatever any of that was.”
Laughter died out before you asked the one question he’d hoped you’d never ask.
“I was really surprised when you said you didn’t know how to cook. Has your mom really never taught you how?”
Despite wanting to look away from your curious eyes, Eddie held your stare. “Uh, no. My mom died when I was a kid.”
Eyes widening, you sat up. “Oh, Eddie. Shit. I’m sorry for assuming—”
“No, no,” he interrupted. “It’s all good. You didn’t know.” 
“Okay.”
The two of you were quiet again before Eddie asked, “Do you wanna know about it?”
You nodded silently.
Eddie embarked on what he called his backstory, like he was a fictional character in a novel. Maybe it was the only way he would make it through his shitty past, a tale of a boy with a dream for a good future but always coming up short.
You didn’t say anything the entire time, only watching him, eyes trained on his hands whenever he gestured. But as he spoke, he realized that his descriptions of everyone just weren’t right. 
He led you to a box that he swore he’d keep closed forever, already hidden on the top shelf of his closet. The two of you sat on the carpet by his mattress, music faint in the background. 
He began showing you a picture or two of his mom before he couldn’t help but keep going through the photographs. There was Wayne. The Hellfire Club. Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Max, and Erica. Ronnie, before she left for college. Bev, scowling at the camera from The Hideout. The band after their last show there. The solitary picture he had of his father from when he was barely a year old. 
All of these pieces of himself that he kept close to his heart, kept close to his soul if those existed. The life he swore to keep hidden now that he was gone, with only Steve and Robin connecting him to his past. Gareth, Grant, and Jeff once they were able to graduate and move. Even then, it felt like they were a part of something new, not old. 
Hawkins made him feel isolated, hollow. It was a constant reminder of everything he lost, from his mother to his father to watching Wayne slowly killing himself from working so hard all the fucking time. With his last name preceding him in reputation, there was no way to get through a singular day without a hiss or an insult. Even when people cared about him.
When he got out, he didn’t realize that there was a possibility he could meet people who were willing to give him a chance.
And he was noticing how engaged you were, studying all the photos intently, taking your time to scan them for seemingly every detail. You were focused on one in particular, of his mom in a blue sundress and Eddie resting on her hip. She was smiling, the kind of smile that comes once in a lifetime. The kind of smile that gave him an ache in his bones from missing so fucking much.
“My mom’s from Memphis, actually,” he whispered.
Your eyes lit up as you met his gaze. “We could’ve grown up so close to one another. Could you imagine?”
Eddie could. Transporting Ronnie and Granny Ecker to Tennessee. The three of you running around causing trouble. His mom calling them in for dinner, watching you fall asleep before your parents picked you up. Blasting metal around the suburbs, carpooling to school. Climbing trees and making it a shared hiding spot when things got tough.
Making sure he never lost contact with Ronnie. 
“Yeah,” he said with a small smile. “I really can.”
“Why didn’t you say anything before?” you asked, looking at him. 
“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. “I didn’t want you to judge me or something.”
“We all come from somewhere. Just because I grew up in a suburb doesn’t mean I’d judge you for living in a trailer. It’s not like you chose that or like that’s a bad thing. You didn’t choose to have your mom pass away and you didn’t choose to have your dad fuck up and get arrested. Those are the cards you were dealt, sure, but you came here. You got out with people who love and care about you. That’s no small feat.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” he said, feeling heat flood his cheeks at your nice words. “I just haven’t ever seen it that way, I guess. Just a metalhead finding his way through the throws of life.”
“You’re more than just a metalhead, you know,” you said. His eyebrows furrowed. “That’s not the most interesting thing about you.”
“What is?”
“Well, I, uh…” You hesitated and Eddie began to wonder why you were tongue-tied all of a sudden. “I mean, you’re talented and you clearly enjoy quality time with people. You care and that’s a big deal. Not a lot of people care the way you do, even if you’re a little shy about it.” You opened and closed your mouth a few times like you were fighting something before adding, “There’s more but I’m pretty high. Ask me again tomorrow.”
Eddie smiled, trying not to let your words affect him the way they were starting to. “Will do, captain.”
It was infectious, being around you. You never failed to surprise him, to twist him into something more than he already was. No matter what, you were always changing the way he saw the world. His world. And Eddie knew that if he wasn’t careful, there would be a day when he would fall desperately in love with you.
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Before either of you knew it, you were another joint deep, going in and out of full on talking and watching TV. He tried to show you Alien but then you kept pausing the movie to engage in a discussion that led into conversations that led into sheer nonsense. Laughter and banter and eventually a little bit of beer.
When Eddie finally checked his phone, the realization that it was midnight washed over him. “Oh, uh, hey, when do you need to leave?” he asked, looking up. “I don’t wanna keep you here if you need to go. It’s late.”
Your expression turned sheepish as you played with the fabric of his blanket. You didn’t even bother to check your phone. “To be honest, I don’t know if I’m sober enough to drive. I didn’t really think about it.”
“You could just sleep here if you’d like?” Eddie offered without thought before realizing exactly what he was suggesting. You, here. In his apartment. Alone. For the whole night.
“On the floor?” you asked with a laugh.
“I could take the floor,” he suggested. “You can have my bed.” “Why don’t we both take the bed?” you asked, finally making eye contact with him. He noticed your eyes widen, something washing over you. 
But there was no time to wonder as Eddie froze at the realization at what exactly you were suggesting. You, here. In his apartment. In his bed. Together. For the night.
“You’re, uh, cool with that?” he asked, starting to fiddle with the damp label on his second beer. It was starting to shed from his picking, the adhesive sticking to his fingernails.
“Um, yeah. I am.” Your nonchalance seemed to fall as you shrugged. “But if you don’t feel comfortable with that, like, I totally understand—”
“Let’s do it,” Eddie said.
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After your final attempt to finish the movie, you two were beat. Three in the morning, the world outside clouded in slumber while Eddie fumbled through the dark. Did he forget to mention that he didn’t even have a lamp yet?
When you were finally settled in bed, with you wearing a spare set of his pajamas, there was a silence between you. Eddie was unable to discern whether it was awkward or natural, his thoughts kicking into overdrive. This was a close one, maybe a little too close. Here you were, in his bed. In his apartment. In a sick turn of events, he didn’t have to stop being around you and he didn’t want to. You didn’t drain his energy. Not even once. It was goddamn twisted.
Eddie felt a shift in weight in the bed and before he knew it, your foot had come to rest on top of his calf. His heart hammered in his chest, wondering what this was. And he was…nervous? Why was he nervous? You were just friends. This was fine, right? Just some normal human contact between friends.
But you started…running your foot up and down his leg?
And then you wiggled your toes.
“Helllooooo, Edward,” you said with a high-pitched voice, verging on absolute creep territory. 
He immediately flinched from your touch, scooting away from you to the edge of the bed. You howled with laughter, getting closer.
“Fuck off with that!” he nearly shouted. “That’s so fucking weird.”
“I’m cooooming for you, Edward,” you said in the voice again. “My preeeecious!”
You tried to start tickling him but Eddie fought back, pushing you away from him. Howls of laughter poured out of you, clutching your chest with pure glee. You were an absolute menace of a person. 
“You’re such a weirdo!” he exclaimed, laughing his ass off.
“At least I own up to it.”
He finally turned over, watching you with your head tilted on the pillow, your hands wrapped up underneath. Mirroring your position, he let out one last chuckle before his smile softened.
“That’s your name now,” he concluded. “Weirdo.”
You nodded. “It has a nice ring to it.”
Eddie couldn’t believe that people like you existed, silly and real and beautiful and fun. Sometimes it seemed like he was the only goofy person in the room, always starting bits or talking in weird voices. Usually it was just him being up for a laugh with only some reciprocation. You, on the other hand, were just like him. It was unique in its own way, but you still fed off of his energy as much as he fed off of yours. 
You two just looked in each other’s eyes illuminated by the light cascading down from the blinds. His eyes couldn’t help but flicker back and forth, trying to read you. Because you had this doe-eyed expression, with an extra sparkle of light starting to shine in your eyes. And your smile was tied up with a slight bite to your lip, like you were holding something back, like there was a sentence forming on your tongue. 
It was new, this side of you.
“Why’re you looking at me like that?” he asked, nearly desperate to know what you were thinking.
Some of your smile dropped…but not all the way.
There was a glaze over your eyes, the playfulness gone. It was something more serious than what was normal for you. He couldn't discern what this was and he knew it was going to kill him. “What? Nothing. I’m not looking at you like anything.”
“Yeah, okay, sure,” he teased.
And then there were moments like these, where the silence felt comfortable and the stillness in the air didn’t feel suffocating, he was beginning to realize that he still wanted you there. Actually, if anything, it made spending time with you even better. He didn’t have to always be on all the time. He could just be himself, be human. With someone else. 
He hadn’t even felt the need to smoke a cigarette tonight.
You two stayed like that until you lost whatever game you were playing and you closed your eyes for the night. Lightly snored, with your face squished against the pillow. It made him smile to see you at such a raw level and still the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen and— 
Eddie’s eyes widened as realization overcame him.
He grabbed his phone and pulled up his texts with Robin.
ik it’s 4am but she stayed over
rob i think
well i think i know
Robin’s three dots popped up.
Spit it out, Eddie! 
Eddie sighed quietly, glancing over at you one more time.
i’m falling in love with her
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extra special thanks to @jo-harrington for always being so so supportive and encouraging of this series :')
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fleetways · 5 months
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OKAY! It’s time for the Chimera Baby Lore Post!!
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🌼 How did you come up with the OC's name?
In both a meta and non-meta sense, Chimera Baby’s name is probably the most notable part about them. The name Chimera Baby is a reference to m-flo and LiSA’s Tripod Baby, ft in the game Shadow the Hedgehog. For over 6 months that was her official non-official name, as I couldn’t decide on a name for her. I received over 15 name suggestions, but in July I ran a poll at which point she was dubbed Mira!
As it turns out, Mira happens to be the name of a binary star system. Two stars in a dance doomed to end in supernova—rather fitting for a chimera character, wouldn’t you say? I like to imagine Shadow was the one to name Mira something meaningful and space-themed like that, meanwhile Sonic named the other child something totally arbitrary (“His name is Mochi because he's white lol”)
On that note, I’ve also decided Sonic calls Mira “Chili” exclusively, because its silly and he would. So Mira, Chimera Baby, CB, and Chili are all names she goes by!
🌸 How old are they? (Or approximate age range)
I like to depict them anywhere from baby to teenager, but in their most recent incarnation I’d say they’re somewhere between 15-17
💖 Do they have any love interest(s)?
At the moment no. She’s generally too aloof and off putting for anyone to approach her with romantic intent, but maybe in the future….
🍓What is their favorite food?
Strawberries and Triangle Chao Fruit
⭐️ What do they do for a living?
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💥 Do they have any hobbies?
Besides combat training, CB enjoys the occasional outdoor activity. Sometimes her friends goad her into a game of soccer (which she is an absolute beast at), but she generally prefers solo sports such as archery, rock climbing, or hiking. Sometimes her brother convinces her to fish with him, but she finds it pretty boring (but would never turn him down)
💃 What do they do best?
Mira excels at hand-to-hand combat. As the reigning champion of Chao Karate, Mira takes their martial arts training very seriously. They also possess exemplary control over chaos energy, and incorporates this into their technique. While they may not be as fast as their fathers, they make up for it with not just raw power, but an extremely disciplined technique.
Her skills also happen to make her an amazing breakdancer, but she’ll break your face if you ask her to demonstrate.
☀️ What is one of your OC's best memories?
A tie between making her baby brother laugh for the first time and the time she drew first blood for the first time in a fight with Shadow
🌧️ What is one of your OC's worst memories?
The aftermath of almost drowning as a child after she saved a chao friend.
✍️ Is their current design the first one?
For the most part—I did redesign their shoes because originally they were rocking some McDonalds drip.
💡What originally inspired the OC?
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This post i made ^^
Basically its a mix of me poking fun at the phenomena of Sonadow fan-children all looking kinda similar, and this plush reminding me of actual chimerism in animals and wanting to create a character with that characteristic! Over the months my ironic love for her has grown into genuine fondness—so while she remains primarily as a parody, she’s also a character I’m having fun exploring concepts with <3 Much like both Shadow and Sonic the Hedgehog, you can take her as seriously or not seriously as you wish!
👾 What genre do they belong in?
PS1-era graphics Jet Set Radio game
🏳️‍🌈 What is your OC's gender identity and sexuality?
Non-binary and trans (you decide what direction). And she’s bisexual bc i love bisexuals <3
🍃How many sibling does your OC have?
One little brother Mochi—he is a perfect angel who is also her closest friend. She adores him, but you wouldn’t know from seeing them interact.
⚠️ What is the OC's relationship w/their parents like?
So I mentioned that Mira was reared in a chao garden, where her dads basically only visited once every couple days if not longer (Sonic and Shadow are not very attentive parents, go figure). However, this was honestly a perfectly fine arrangement as I headcanon mobian children don’t need the same level of parental contact as human children (Hell, Cream is kind of an outlier FOR having a present parental figure in her life).
That being said, I imagine Shadow spent more time with her when she was really young before stepping away, which made her really latch onto Shadow more than Sonic during that time. Especially seeing as Sonic is the most laissez-faire parent ever but simultaneously was the type to abandon her on a floating platform in midair with a trail of badniks so she can learn how to homing attack.
Much like her father before her, her latent Black Arms genes have caused her to develop a burning desire to destroy Shadow—a fact that Shadow seems strangely indifferent about. While this fact has pretty much wrecked their previous relationship, there are circumstances where Mira will put aside her goal and work with Shadow against a common enemy or towards a common objective (of course, this doesn’t stop her from trying to stab him in the back during these operations).
Her relationship with Sonic has remained mostly the same, with Sonic treating her much more like a friend or little sister than a daughter. They have lunch together at least once a month, and usually she’ll go to him for advice on any social interaction matter—conversations that have become much more frequent now that she’s begun to make friends.
💗 What do you like most about the OC?
I think I popped off with her design—chimerism is such an interesting concept and I loved balancing her two sets of genes without making it seem too busy. I also love her dynamic of trying to kill Shadow and how you would think her growing up in chao garden basically alone would have contributed to that, but that's not the case at all she’s just like that <3
‼️ Who is your OC's arch-nemesis or rival?
Shadow the Hedgehog is her self-proclaimed nemesis, but she makes a fair share of enemies and rivals wherever she goes due to her punch-first-ask-questions-later attitude. One notable rival is another OC of mine named Sauvik the Badger—another cold and brooding anti-hero much like her. Sauvik and Mochi are something of a team, but being a protective big sister she wants him to stay away from her brother. This generally leads to a fight that Mochi is inevitably forced to break up.
⏰ How long have you had the OC?
She was created in January of 2023!
That’s all! Feel free to ask any other questions and remember to vote for her here!
@sonic-oc-showdown
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tokito-dulya20 · 10 months
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CAUGHT
Tokito twins x reader
characters: Yuichiro Tokito (older twin), Muichiro Tokito (younger twin) (aged up to 20 or 21)  (the reader is female)
[THE ART BELOW IS NOT MINE!!!]
{This is my first fanfic so please don't judge me}
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[if you see (f/b), it means favorite breathing style]
(NSFW smut) (WARNING!! unprotected sex,oral(fem. receiving),fingering,dom/sub,blindfolding,NSFW content,18+)
{Muichiro and Yuichiro Tokito are twins and the mist hashiras and are a shy,bisexual (f/b) hashira who starts to have feelings for the twins. Later at night, you started to finger yourself and eventually get caught by the twins}
You are the (f/b) hashira, and you usually do your usual duties as a hashira: killing demons and saving lives. But you do a few things for your free time: you walk in the Forest of the Waterfall of the Dancing Leaves and train there sometimes too because it’s calming there and it helps you concentrate on your breathing when you are training for your next hashira mission. and the secondly, talking to Yuichiro and Muichiro, the twin mist hashiras. 
You always found them adorable and very attractive (as they are obviously twins) even when you talk to them. But you start to have feelings for Yuichiro and Muichiro but you don’t show it around them because they’ll notice. They also do the usual hashira duties too and sometimes you invite them to spend time with you or train with them together. When you are around them, you start to have this “feeling” like you want to be together with the twins. 
After the three of you finished your own missions you and the twins started heading to your house and you,Yuichiro and Muichiro shared a house together. The twins had a room and you had a room next to theirs. As the twins were busy sort of arguing a little in their room, you were doing your “own thing”. 
You had nothing on but your haori and you started to move your finger down to where your wet cunt was and started to play with your clit, rubbing it in circles as you let out quiet,soft whimpers thinking about the twins. You continue to tease your clit, moving your finger down to your entrance and put your finger inside. As you move your finger in and out of your entrance,you let out soft moans making it as quiet as possible so the twins don’t hear you in the other room. You whimper and moan as you quicken the pace of your fingers until you reach your climax and still continue to please yourself down there, accidentally moaning a little loud while doing so.
Meanwhile the twins argue….
Y: What the fuck?!
M: Yuichiro, it’s not that big of a deal!
Y: Don't you dare pick a fight, you idiot
M: Idiot?! Who are YOU to call ME an idiot?!
Y: YOU were the the one that started that fucking shit!!
M: I didn’t mean to start that shit ok!! Just calm down ni-cha-
Yuichiro puts his finger to Muichiro’s lips to shush him because he heard some soft moans in the other room.
Y: Did you hear that?
M: Hear what ni-chan?
Y: I heard some moans in the other room
M: I-I think so… Should we check it out ni-chan?
Y: Yeah,we should check it out. Let's go
The twins go to see what the cause of those moaning noises were and once they open your bedroom door… they stood in the doorway and see you on your bed trying to hide your hands that are now covered in your cum.
Y: ...
M: ...So..Whatcha doin’?
Y/N:N-Nothing
You stammered, still covering your hands. Your voice shaky as you said this, and a blush across your face. They looked down at your hands, still caked in cum, and then back up at your face. 
Y: You sure about that?  He points to your hands.
M: You were thinking about us,were you?
You were blushing not knowing what to say after Muichiro said that. You told the twins you have feelings for the both of them and didn��t know how to express it. But they had hints you had feelings for them the WHOLE time. They smile softly.
Y: Hey y/n, it’s ok, Me and Muichiro can help you with that. If you’d like
The twins smirk devilishly but playfully. You blush intensely almost turning as red as a tomato
M: Awwww… Yuichiro look. Looks like someone’s looking a little excited.
As they walked towards you. Muichiro reached for your hand and held it gently as his fingers curled around yours. He pulls you gently towards him, and then kisses your hand. Then Yuichiro picked you up, and pinned you against the bed. Your body reacted strongly to his presence, and you felt a warmth spread from your core. It was a wonderful feeling. 
They stood there for what seemed an eternity, gazing at your body as it twitched and jerked a little. You could feel her pussy pulsing, and juice dripping from your cunt. Your body reacted strongly, and you felt your pussy become wetter and wetter as you cried out against the bedding. The twins moved down your body, and ran their hands over your wet cunt. You gasped at the touch of their fingers, so…soft, so…warm. 
M: Ni-chan, looks like someone was wet for us. Don’t you think?
Y: Indeed Muichiro, It looks like we have a very naughty girl. In our hands
They kiss you passionately for a few minutes until they intensify the kiss. They pull away only for Yuichiro to kiss your neck from behind and Muichiro to spread your legs for more access to your dripping wet cunt. As he starts to lick your pussy,sucking on your sensitive bud and putting his tongue inside your cunt, making you let out some soft moans and whimpers, you arch your back which gave Yuichiro more access to your neck to kiss, he kisses your neck leaving hickeys and then he bites your neck making you yelp in pain.
Then they switch and take turns pleasing you, causing you to whimper and moan louder. You beg them to let you cum but instead you say:
Y/N: I want you both to fuck me I want you to make me cum
They looked at each other and things took a bit of a turn when they put a blindfold on you. They look at you looking helpless and to them you look really cute. 
Y: It looks like punishment time for a slut like you 
They start removing their clothes,then put you between them,Yuichiro behind you and Muichiro in front of you,then they align their shafts with your cunt. You whimper a little. But without warning they thrust into your inner walls causing you to moan loudly in pain. They noticed that you were in tears when you felt them at the same time,so to relieve the pain the twins kissed your neck and thrust themselves inside you all the way. 
You couldn't help but feel a lot of pleasure when they thrusted in and out of you. You felt a similar knot in your stomach and you wanted to reach your climax and you begged and begged until they were about to reach their climax. And with one final thrust Muichiro and Yuichiro released into you while you reached your climax at the same time they did. You three were panting and breathing heavily from what just happened.
Y: Wow, that felt.. good
M: Yea, it did. Did you feel good y/n?
Y/N: Y-yea. It felt…amazing
Y: Let’s get cleaned up shall we?
You,Muichiro and Yuichiro clean yourselves up and get ready for bed. But before that, you ask them to sleep with you. Yuichiro and Muichiro cuddle next to you until you three fall asleep due to the warmth of one another.
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fernsnailz · 24 days
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February 2024 Review Roundup
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well i sure did watch some stuff and read one book this month
the things i finished this month reminded me that for every incredible piece of art i find myself enjoying, i end up watching some Hot Garbage immediately after to balance things out again. idk why i do this.
i have quite a bit to say about both the things i enjoyed and the things that brought me physical pain this month, so there is um. a lot under the cut. any previous desire for brevity i had in january has been completely thrown out the window as i use these roundups as an outlet to gush about things i like and complain about things i didn't. fair warning, if you open the readmore you will be scrolling for a while. enjoy i guess
House of Leaves
does any other book out there have the balls to write a completely fake interview with stephen king
House of Leaves is a novel you gotta throw around a little bit. It feels really weird that my copy is still in the pristine state I bought it in - It seems like it should have water damage and smell like mildew with its pages falling out and spine cracked into pieces. Getting the full story from this book requires flipping back and forth, turning it around, searching for answers. All things considered it’s not that difficult of a read, but its format still allows you to feel like you’re discovering every hidden piece for yourself, and I really liked that interactivity. I was engaged pretty much the whole way through.
I don’t really think I’ll be able to revisit this book anytime soon though. It’s difficult for me to format what else I’d like to say about it because to be honest, it caught me off guard and disturbed me on a fairly personal level. There’s a relief I feel when I remember that I don’t actually know what was going on with the house - maybe that was intentional on the book’s behalf, maybe I just didn’t look hard enough for answers. I don’t know. But the implication that something divine was down there was enough of an answer for me. The book's good. read it if you want a spooooooky time or if you never want to look at a hallway the same way again
Doctor Who (Series 1-4) (rewatch)
ok so this is a fuckload of doctor who to cover so i’m gonna give some thoughts on a few of the characters and my favorite + least favorite episodes
9th doctor: My favorite butch lesbian. Christopher Eccleston truly embodies the concept of The Doctor so, so well: otherworldly guy who knows too much, genuinely cares about life across the universe, and also has a bit of deep, unresolved rage. His moments of joy and careless fun stick with me the most, he absolutely radiates with life and brings so much to this character.
Rose: I first watched Doctor Who when I was in middle school, and I didn’t like Rose that much back then. And guys. I have bad news. I'm still not really much of a Rose fan
I definitely understood her more this watch through - that desire for adventure and some sort of control over her life, emotions so strong that she’s willing to throw near everything away. That’s just what being 19 is like sometimes. I think Rose is a very compelling character who just happens to frustrate me a bit. And that’s kinda the point, her co-dependent relationship with the Doctor is doomed to fail and it's meant to hurt. Ultimately, I think when I first watched the show I was too young to understand Rose, and now I’m just too old to relate to her.
Captain Jack: Jack is my favorite character. I fucking love this guy. Dude has the worst luck in the whole universe and still cannot be stopped. Legendary. Every episode with him is a goddamn delight because he has so much chemistry with every single cast member. No notes 10/10 i love my problematic bisexual king
10th doctor: About four episodes into David Tennant’s run I realized that he dresses like a Hazbin Hotel character and it made me very sad. Still, there’s a reason this guy inspired every middle schooler to buy a pair of converse in 2008. He has style, he has depth, he’s got the sauce. It’s genuinely terrifying to see his anger, I like that a lot of 10’s run is about his denial of godhood and power over life in the universe, something that the rest of the time lords desired. idk i like my sad pathetic little weasel but he's also a huge fucking asshole sometimes which sucks. especially when it's directed at Martha.
Martha: Martha I am so sorry for what this show put you through. Martha was my favorite companion when I first watched the show, and I still have a huge soft spot for her. Her ability to hold her own and navigate foreign worlds using her own intelligence absolutely rules, and her drive forward is unbreakable. But the show seems to put her down at every possible opportunity, most notably with how 10 treats her. Her struggles and wants are constantly ignored, and she's often treated as a rebound from Rose. And I like that she eventually chooses to end it by not traveling with 10 anymore, but it hurts because it feels like she was never given the same chance or care that Rose and Donna were. This era of Doctor Who really doesn’t treat its black companions well because Mickey goes through something similar - both Martha and Mickey are characters designed to be ignored or left behind, and it sucks.
Donna: Donna Noble is one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist. Despite seemingly living a fairly average life and working a fairly average job, Donna reflects the idea that no one is truly "average" and every single person is brimming with personality, life, and love. I love that her relationship with 10 is purely platonic, personally their friendship feels like it has a lot more depth than either of the romance-oriented relationships 10 had with Rose and Martha. 10 and Donna bounce off of each other so well and it's delightful, Donna brings so much humor and life to every world she's taken to and it's incredible. I wish her and Captain Jack could have interacted more.
My favorite episode: The Runaway Bride is hard to not choose as my favorite. I have a blast every time I watch this episode and it’s such a good introduction for Donna. Also the Tardis car chase kills me, I love when it cuts to the kids in the back of another car clapping and cheering. I was also surprised by the episode Midnight - it’s dreadful to watch and I kinda loved it. So much spirals out of control when shit hits the fan, even though no one has any idea what they’re trying to fight against. Really interesting exploration as to how fear can drive people apart.
My least favorite episode: It’s Love & Monsters. I wish I liked this episode - stories that follow regular ass people living in this world are often some of the best episodes in the series (Weeping Angels and all that). And this episode definitely has some of that. It’s honestly really touching to see this group of nerds get together and enjoy life in the first part of the episode. I think the antagonist of “guy who absorbs people” ends up dragging down any charm this story had because he just. eats all of the interesting characters. But despite me disliking this episode, I honestly have a deep respect for it - it’s fucking crazy. It ends with the main guy telling us about his sex life with his girlfriend who is now stuck in a piece of concrete. Where else are you going to get a story like this. It fucking sucks and that’s hilarious
oh also the production design: GODDDDDD I FUCKING LOVE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND SETS ON THIS SHOW. I love how dirty and rundown a lot of the spaceship sets look with wires and lights scattered everywhere. And a number of alien designs also go CRAZY with the prosthetics - I keep thinking about the Hath from The Doctor’s Daughter and how every head prosthetic had liquid inside it that could bubble. Absolutely crazy. I also love the moments where you can clearly see they did not have that much time and just had to throw something together or pain a bald cap green. Jank is the nature of sci-fi production design and I dearly love and miss that Doctor Who jank.
Rebuild of Evangelion
Last year after finishing the original Evangelion series + End of Evangelion, I remember going through the Evangelion tumblr tag and being very confused by the number of slice of life/found family-esque fanworks of the cast. It left me puzzled and thinking “...did we even watch the same thing??”
APPARENTLY NOT
[spoiler warning here because these movies are very good and i give the best parts away. if you want to watch these movies then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!]
I honestly never expected a world where these characters got a happy ending. I so, so badly wish I could see 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 in theaters - these movies are stunning. I know I say things “go crazy” a lot, but man. They go fucking CRAZY.
While I have a few issues with how the first two movies adapted the original show, I do think the changes they made better serve the story this rebuild is trying to tell. For example, my favorite episode in the original Eva series is episode 18, where Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03. It’s absolutely terrifying because Shinji doesn’t know who 03’s pilot is, yet he’s forced to be inside Unit 01 as it tears 03 apart. His resolve not to kill anyone despite not even knowing who’s in danger is an aspect of that episode I love and speaks to Shinji's inherent humanity, and when he learns Toji was in there it hurts even more. The rebuild movies change Unit 03’s pilot to Auska, and Shinji knows she’s in there from the start. I think this choice works for the movies and is still an effective emotional beat, but personally I still prefer the version where Shinji had no idea who was in there. That lack of knowledge is infinitely more terrifying to me.
I really like what these movies did with some of the angel designs though. The sixth angel (the fuckin. blue diamond cube thing) works really well in 3D/CG animation. The way the thing warps and moves is otherly and terrifying - and it’s just a fucking cube. I’ve always really loved how the Eva series approaches angel designs and the divine - despite the alien-like designs, there’s often something extremely familiar about them. They’re often reminiscent of an animal, a machine, or a human. This is also how they approached the anti-universe in these movies, I loved how it takes the form of various locations from the series and turns them into a movie set. It’s deeply familiar, but ultimately just an illusion of familiarity like the angels and the divine.
Also I gotta say. I fucking love Mari. I think she’s hilarious. She first meets Shinji by accidentally parachuting into him and then immediately starts crawling on all fours to sniff him. This girl also introduces “Beast Mode” where the Eva pilots can go wild turn their mechs into a fucking. superpowered beast of some sort. And also she defeats a whole army by using the Eiffel Tower as a spear. She’s such an absurd character and I honestly kinda love it. The only thing I knew about these movies before watching them was this gif of her Backing That Shit Up and she truly lives up to the insane nature of this shot.
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My favorite section of these movies is definitely the first part of 3.0+1.0 where the pilots are basically just living a domestic life in a small town - it’s truly beautiful. The growth that Rei’s copy goes through here is fantastic, I love stories about seemingly emotionless beings learning how to live. And right after she dies, we get the shot that absolutely broke me the first time I saw it:
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This shit. The way you can just barely tell he’s been crying from the red around his eyes. They don't talk about it, they barely linger on it, but it's allowed just enough time to punch you in the gut. I don’t know why this shot got me as hard as it did but goddamn. jesus christ. i want to throw up
There’s some goofy shit in these movies. The infinite synch rate. Misato’s stupidass hat and sunglasses. Some goofy ass 3D animation that doesn’t age super well. The rainbow that shows up every time an angel dies. But these things really didn’t take me out of the core of these films, and there’s so much genuine emotion and beauty in this series that had me absolutely hooked - especially in the last two films. They go crazy. My favorite line is 100% “The only thing a son can do for his father is pat him on the shoulder… or kill him.” and man. ain’t that what Evangelion is all about. i love these movies
High School Musical 3
kinda slaps just a little bit
High School Musical 3 starts with a finale number. The last high school basketball game of Troy Bolton’s life - and it goes kinda hard. The classic pep band brass that’s essential to so many High School Musical numbers returns, and the constant theme of two feuding cheer teams in the background? Genius. This is truly art. I love listening to Now or Never without visuals because in the middle Troy just starts coughing and gagging seemingly out of nowhere
Unfortunately, starting the movie at such a high point means that the rest of the runtime doesn’t quite match up to it. The story lags and meanders quite a bit, but part of me kinda appreciates that - it’s their last semester of high school, which is always a time of confusion and turmoil. However, I do have a pitch for how they could have countered the constant falling action this movie seems to go through:
The Wildcats should have lost their last game at the beginning of the movie.
What if the game is instead the inciting incident that leads Troy and his besties through their tumultuous last semester? Troy is still torn between basketball and theater, but his identity would be even further challenged here - is winning and success all that matters for him, or is it the love of sport and performance that keeps him going? idk whatever this movie came out 16 years ago i can’t be out here writing AUs for it jgnfsgfnjdksg
Some miscellaneous thoughts about this movie that i don’t care about formatting into larger paragraphs:
Ryan and Sharpay’s number (I Want It All) slaps as usual. The part where Ryan shouts “MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!!!!!” makes me so happy every time i hear it
The production design and sets go absolutely fucking crazy. I still have no idea how they pulled off the spinning hallway in Scream.
One of the classic staples of HSM is Chad’s shirts. Most of them are fairly silly and like something you would expect to find in the walmart clearance section. However, there’s one shirt he has in this movie that confused the hell out of me. It’s this one:
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What the FUCK does Greenster mean. Is it just a combination of Green and Monster?? Why??? What green monster are we talking about here????? Where the fuck did this shirt come from?????????
Avatar The Last Airbender (2024)
There’s really only one word I can think of to describe what this show is like: sauceless. No flavor. No depth. No character. No sauce. This show is honestly so fucking boring and seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the appeal of the original Avatar series is - not necessarily because things are changed or removed from the original, but because nothing of substance is added in return. 
Most of the characters are mere echoes of their original counterparts when compared to their source material. Sokka is reduced to a guy who wants to fight good, Katara’s stubborn and confrontational nature is very rarely utilized, and Aang’s mischievous antics and love of fun is sorely missing. One of the major reasons for the dull interpretations seems to be the directing - While I have faith that most of these actors are trying their best (especially since a number of them are kids/young adults), the direction seems to be incredibly lackluster and takes away nearly every cast member’s stage presence or personality. There’s a number of reaction shots of the main trio that just look like this: 😐😐😐 as if they were just told to “look concerned” at the events unfolding before them. And these issues are apparent in the majority of the performances - for example, General Zhao talks like he’s in a board meeting up until the last episode, and it’s an incredibly flat performance. He talks somewhat monotone in the original series as well, but this live-action take on the character often meanders with his dialogue and lacks that sharp, terrifying quality that I think this character needs. Uncle Iroh also feels incredibly stiff in this adaptation, and it’s a goddamn crime that they took away the cunty little outfit and chains he was originally wearing when he gets captured by earthbenders. wait who said that
Credit where credit is due, there’s a few cast members that seem to be giving their best. It’s clear that Aang’s actor enjoys the role and does pretty well despite the lackluster direction and dialogue he’s given. On top of that, I think Zuko’s actor is honestly the best part of the show. His take on Zuko leans much more into teenage tendencies and sarcasm, which, although it can be silly, is a welcome take of the character in my opinion and pretty fun to watch. There’s this one line he has at the beginning of episode 2 where, in an incredibly whiny tone of voice, he goes “He RAN! The ultimate warrior! He’s a Coward :((((“ and the read is so. fucking funny
The case of bad direction isn’t limited to the performances, however. It’s also stunningly apparent in how everything is shot. Despite being in a widescreen format, most shots are incredibly centered - you could crop the entire runtime into a 4:3 frame and you wouldn’t be cutting out much of anything. I’ve seen some speculation that this was an intentional choice to make things more adaptable or readable for TikTok/phone video, but honestly I think that’s a dumb take. I think the issue stems from a lack of creativity and thoughtless composition. Keeping everything staged in the center can make shots feel disjointed, lacking much depth, or completely empty. It’s a boring way to shoot and indicates that the show lacks any unique vision at all.
Overall, this show doesn't really seem to understand what makes Avatar interesting in the first place. It's more interested in spectacle and action than the characters' relationships, emotions, and mistakes. I try not to compare it too much to the original since it's allowed to take liberties with its adaptation, but very few of its changes add much to the end result or give it a unique voice. It's just sauceless and boring.
Some YouTube videos i liked in February:
💥 My House.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod (some supplemental House of Leaves material for ya) 💥 Martha Jones Deserved Better (this video explains how Doctor Who did Martha dirty better than i ever could) 💥 bringing JUSTICE to the worst garfield game 💥 Selling Kids for Clout: The Downfall of Family Channels
And that’s my roundup for February! Thank you for reading, I promise there are no more reviews left to scroll through below this goodbye. Nope, nothing else I watched this month. Bye!
…ok is everyone gone. phew, i’m glad no one noticed i pulled an hbomberguy and hid the largest part of this post under a false ending. Anyway holy shit i need to talk about hazbin hotel
Hazbin Hotel
well i didn’t like it
Hazbin Hotel is a weird, fascinating mess of a show. Every episode left me wondering what creative decisions (or lack thereof) led to the sequence of images I just watched. There’s been a lot of discussion of this show recently and I’m not interested in covering every critique I have, but there’s a few things that I'd like to talk about somewhat in-depth.
Hell is real and it's just Red Chicago
The setting of Hell is kinda boring in this show.
Let me try to put this into perspective. Aside from the hotel, here’s a list of the locations we see in Hell:
A boardroom
A video store
Vox’s evil lair (it has cyber sharks which is kinda cool)
Various streets
Another boardroom
A BDSM club
Carmilla’s house (it’s gray and has. balconies?)
A porn studio
A bar
Another bar
A town square (full of cannibals)
None of these locations really take on any sort of otherworldly form besides some vague demonic imagery scattered throughout (and the cannibals. i guess. whatever). In short, Hazbin Hotel’s setting resembles Chicago more than it does Hell.
I can see a world where that’s intentional. Perhaps making Hell resemble a modern city could be used as a thematic tool or point of relatability? But Hazbin doesn’t really do anything like that - since the characters rarely ever interact with their environments, these locations end up seeming like they lack creativity, like they’re just cardboard sets where characters go to swear. They all start to blend together after a while - every street feels the same, every boardroom fades into the background, and every bar feels like a google image search result for the word “club.” This world feels stunningly empty despite the busy designs and colors. Even though the backgrounds are painted and designed fairly well, nothing of substance is ever really added to them through the story.
However, a few musical numbers take effort to break away from these settings. This felt like a weight off of my shoulders whenever it happened, it was nice to see some interesting setpieces and backgrounds that weren’t red. I liked the bombastic and over-the-top broadway lights in Loser and the glowing alternate world in Charlie and Lucifer’s song. But these moments are few and crowded by the dull locations in Hell - or worse, the Hotel itself.
Despite being the namesake of the show, the actual Hazbin Hotel is… lifeless. Which, yeah, it’s a hotel where dead people go in the afterlife, but it’s missing any sort of personality or history besides “it’s old and falling apart.” I expected the hotel to be full of secrets - like maybe some hidden passages or rooms, or mysterious cabinets full of rotted meats, or old valuables hidden under the rugs by the previous owners. Something for the cast to explore and discover, and as they get closer to each other they also start to understand the hotel more. Alastor seems very intent on keeping the physical hotel standing for some reason, but I never really understood why. There’s nothing there. And that nothingness is fully realized when at the end of the show, they just rebuild the entire hotel to be grand and beautiful - an emotional beat that didn’t hit me at all because I never felt like I knew the hotel in the first place. Despite rebuilding it from the ground up, it will feel just as empty.
3 SHOTS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY
I was truly baffled at how some of these scenes are timed and put together. Multiple sequences left me feeling nauseous and dazed - the camera moves like it’s being swung on the end of a rope, and there’s so many misplaced or meaningless cuts scattered through these episodes.
There’s a sequence of three shots in the first episode that I want to dissect. I will fully admit that I'm breaching nitpicking territory here, but the shot composition issues in this show are pretty rampant and my analysis here is just a hyper-specific look at a single part of that larger problem. Hopefully you can also use it as a quick storyboarding lesson too idk
First, we see Adam teasing Charlie.
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Then, it cuts straight to this shot:
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A few things here. 
Shot 2 is just closer on the characters, which is not a great idea to cut to after the previous waist-up shot. On top of being a jarring jump cut, there is no purpose for this new shot. All the information we see here (Adam laughs, Charlie fake laughs) could have just been conveyed in the previous shot.
Despite the characters being in the same position as the last shot, the background changes. This straight up just feels like an error. I think the idea is supposed to be that the camera is at a different angle, but the position of the characters does not convey that. It looks like reality changes behind them.
And if that’s not enough, this is the shot we get immediately after those two:
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In this shot, the residents of the hotel sit on the couch as Vaggie walks into the shot, framing them between her legs. But there’s something… off.
Vaggie either looks like she’s floating or she’s three stories tall. Quick storyboard lesson as to why:
The main problem with this shot is that the perspective of the background doesn’t match up with where Vaggie is placed. The couch is framed as if the camera were above it, but Vaggie is framed like the camera is floor-level below her. I’ve traced the shot and added a perspective grid to hopefully better illustrate this:
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Do you see what I mean? If the camera WAS actually on the floor like Vaggie’s position in the shot suggests, the composition would look more like this:
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Notice how much closer the floor grid is to the bottom of the frame and how you can see the underside of the couch.
And to be fair, this is probably what the original storyboard for this shot looked like! Personally I think something went wrong in the compositing stage - this might be a couch background from another shot that was reused here to save time, or whoever approved this shot just let the error slide since the shot is so short (i've been there. sometimes you let the jank slide). Most animated shows will have some poorly framed shots and continuity errors because mistakes are bound to happen, but two egregious ones right next to each other like this is. pretty bad. It's so noticeable from a directing perspective.
Here’s the thing: these three shots happen in the span of like 10 seconds. Most viewers probably wouldn’t notice these issues, and that's fine. But even though these errors are quick, they stack upon each other so fast that even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, something still feels wrong. There’s so many other moments where the show breaks extremely basic shot composition, continuity, and staging rules - for example, the second musical number of the show breaks the 180 rule like four times for no good reason. The whole show feels like a dizzy, nauseating mess because the shots rarely feel like they form anything cohesive.
MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME TO GO TO BED SO HERE ARE SOME FINAL THOUGHTS
Here’s a rundown on some other thoughts that I don’t care to format into larger sections:
The show seems to lack much to say about sin and redemption other than “redemption good.” like sure, but what are they being redeemed from? Is heaven truly the place they deserve to go after being redeemed, even though it’s shown to be unjust? Are there sins that are too great to be redeemed from, or others that shouldn't be considered sins at all? I asked myself a number of questions like this, but never got many answers from Hazbin.
This show has a bad relationship with kink and sex. Both are mostly used as a punchline or a form of control. I didn’t like it. Perhaps the reason Hazbin never really comments on the nature of sin is because it needs you to consider sex and kink sinful or otherly for these jokes to hit.
Some of the animation is crazy good. I will praise any animator that even attempts to make these character designs move. A number of extremely talented people worked on this show, a few of the musical sequences in particular have some incredible movement.
Alastor is a very boring character. It’s wild that most of the side characters in this show only exist to talk about how much they like or hate Alastor, he mostly just stands to the side of some shots or kills random nameless goons. I expected him to have a much larger role in the story, but he just gets his ass kicked in the final episode and then crawls back to the hotel.
Episode 4 is the most cohesive, and i think Angel is the best character in the show. Unfortunately, the fact that Hazbin takes so much effort to show Angel’s misery left me… concerned? None of the other characters get treated as poorly as Angel by the narrative. There’s a few smaller explorations of trauma, but nothing remotely compares to what Angel is put through on-screen. This isn’t to say that I think the whole cast needs to be extremely traumatized and constantly miserable, but rather that I find it concerning that the only character subjected to incredibly graphic abuse and torture (that we see or hear about) is the gay sex worker. Which sucks, because I think the concept of hypersexuality resulted from sexual abuse is an important topic worthy of discussing in adult media. I just think they tried to execute this theme without much critical thought beforehand.
I think the voice cast does a fantastic job for the most part. Keith David is way too good for Husk.
I really liked the one shot where Charlie opens her phone and we see that she has a contact for every individual egg minion.
I was very brave and got through this whole review without talking about my new least favorite character of all time, Vox. here’s what I think of him:
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The overall vision and end result of Hazbin Hotel is just mediocre. While I don’t know what led to the messy state this show ended up in, my guess is that it was probably the result of inadequate direction, sloppy writing, and lacking creative support from the studios involved. Because of this, please understand that I have no desire or intention to put down any individual artists that worked on this show - I hope it's clear that most of my criticisms are directed at the larger vision these artists were given to execute and/or the lack of creative support they received while working on this show.
I also don’t really have much desire to participate in any further Hazbin discussion or discourse because it has wasted enough of my time already and I want to be free of this curse. please spare my inbox from hazbin hotel discourse. please. i'm begging.
You want to know what the most fucked up thing about this is though? Despite everything I said about Hazbin, Avatar the Last Airbender 2024 is still the worst show I watched this month. I would take Hazbin over Avatar 2024 literally any day.
well if you got this far. thanks for reading. also sorry you read all that. whelp alright back into my hole i go bye bye
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