#finn stop posting your trauma on main

[pagankingfinn]

Today on Finn's a goddamn mess his brain decided to remind him of his sexual trauma, caused by older men preying on an at the time fourteen years old, while he was taking care of bodily needs. And then produce the sad chemicals because boobs bad but he can't bind anymore due to tissue damage from not being able to afford good quality binders.

#pagankingfinn #finn stop posting your trauma on main #tw sexualization of minors #I'm the minor #i don't wanna talk about it #i don't even want to be reminded of it #but here we are

[anna-pixie]

my wife / poe dameron -> 4

sooooo i had every intention to end my wife here but i’ve somehow gotten emotionally attached to my own series so...

sorry again for slacking on the uploads but if you have requested anything recently they will be posted v v soon <3

pairings: poe dameron x reader

warnings: none

*******

You sigh happily, trying to ignore the way your scar stings as Poe brushes his fingers over it lightly. He’s been fawning over you ever since you got back from being held in the First Order, treating you like a porcelain doll since he found out about the torture you endured. 

You won’t ever be able to forget the haunted look on his face as you had to relive your ordeal and explain it to General Organa and her commanders - which unfortunately meant he was forced to listen to it. About halfway through the briefing, Leia could see it was getting too much for Poe so she had excused the two of you, saying that you could carry on the next day.

“Where are you going?” Poe questions, his eyes frantic as he watches you get up from your place on his lap.

“I’m just going to the bathroom, I’ll only be a second.” Laughing a little at his worry, you make your way to the bathroom, wincing as your side throbs painfully.

You’re just finishing up in the bathroom when Poe knocks on the door softly, asking whether you’re okay since you’ve been in there a while. You roll your eyes. You found his constant worrying cute at first, however this has been going on for days and you’re starting to get tired of being treated like a child.

“I’m fine, Poe.” Your response is short and you hope he knows that you’re not in the mood for him to continue pestering you. Of course you should know better, this is Poe Dameron we’re talking about. Emotional intelligence is not his forte.

“Are you sure? Let me in, I’ll-”

“Poe I’m fine! Leave me alone, please.” You snap, your voice quiet as you don’t want to hurt him with your sharp words. Poe doesn’t reply to you but after a beat of silence you hear his footsteps softly padding away. You groan as guilt settles in your stomach. You know he is only trying to protect you, after thinking you were dead for half a year the thought of losing you all over again plagues his mind constantly.

You’re so focused on your own recovery that you can’t see Poe’s own suffering. When you wake from a terrifying nightmare reliving your trauma, you don’t know that Poe is waking from his own - his mind taunting him with images of your body being lowered into the ground. When your scars sting and you wince, you don’t notice the tears that Poe fights back at the thought of what you endured, what he couldn’t protect you from.

He is lying on the bed when you finally exit the bathroom, and he sends a hesitant look your way, as though he’s scared to annoy you in any way. You furrow your eyebrows and look at him, holding out your arms as you silently ask for a hug. He perks up at this, quickly leaping off the bed and making his way into your arms as his wind around you in the strong grip that you love so much.

Pulling back slightly to look at him, your breath stills at the proximity of your faces. Your mind unwillingly travels back to the evening that you left. The kiss between the two of you that neither of you have been brave enough to bring up since your return.

Poe licks his lips and seems to be having an internal battle as his eyes dart back and forth from your eyes to your mouth. Oh, the deja vu. Before either of you can make a move, however, you’re rudely interrupted by BB8’s frantic beeping. From Poe’s expression, you realise it must be something important, and he grabs his flight jacket.

“Stay here, I won’t be long.”

“Poe, I’m coming with you.”

“No, Y/N. Please, stay. I don’t want to be worrying about you while we’re out there okay?”

You huff, turning away from Poe as you grab your own sweater from his bed.

“Fine. I’m going to my own room. Bye.” You don’t give Poe a chance to reply before you leave his room, your face thunderous as you stride back to your own room. One you have made yourself comfy in pyjamas, under layers of cover, you reach for your datapad.

Private message.

Rey to Y/N: Want to go stargazing?

Y/N to Rey: Sure. Meet outside base in 5?

Rey to Y/N: :)!

You’re smiling again, mood lifting as you think about stargazing with Rey. It’s her favourite thing to do, she’s completely in her element when she’s lying beneath the dark sky.

You pick up two warm cups of caf on your way, still bundled underneath a pile of blankets as you meet a smiling Rey outside of the base. Much to your delight, Rey has been treating you as normal since you’ve been back. You know she feels guilty about what happened, that you were taken instead of her, but she’s very good at acting like everything is normal.

“You’re a lifesaver.” She smiles at you as you hand her a cup of caf, the two of you wandering towards the dense forest surrounding the base. You reach a clearing and place the blankets on the dry ground, letting out a pained groan as your bruises hit the hard surface.

“I’m okay.” You quickly confirm when you notice Rey’s concerned gaze on you. She smiles and quickly drops it, lying down next to you with a happy sigh.

“I’m so happy you’re back, Y/N, I don’t know what I would’ve done without my stargazing buddy forever.”

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” I smile at her, my eyes tearing up when I see Rey wiping underneath her eyes, “Stop it, you. You’ll make me cry.”

“Sorry. I just want you to know how much you mean to us, all of us, you know?”

“I know Rey. Trust me, I had plenty of time to mull that over while I was up there.”

We’re silent for a while, just taking in the beauty of the sky before we hear a rustling in the bushes. I stand quickly, ignoring the stabbing pain in my side as I look at Rey in confusion. No one ever comes this far into the forest except me and Rey.

The rustling becomes more clear now and seems to be coming from behind me. We whip around, Rey bringing out her lightsaber although she doesn’t seem too fearful about the impending danger. Footsteps become clear now and I can barely focus on anything except them, my heartbeat increasingly frantically as a figure bursts through the bushes.

It’s Finn. Finn and… BB8?

“What the kriff, guys! You’re going to send me to an early grave!” I place my hand over my heart, letting out a deep breath as Finn raises his arms in defence.

“Sorry, Y/N, we just needed to distract you…”

My brows furrow, eyes widening as I take in his and Rey’s mischievous expressions, “Distract me from what?”

“Turn around.” Rey speaks, biting her lip in excitement.

Hesitantly, I turn on the balls of my feet and I feel like I’ve been winded as I take in the sight in front of me.

Poe is on one knee before me, holding a ring in his hands as he looks at me hopefully. My eyes tear up and for a brief moment I consider whether this may be a practical joke. No, they wouldn’t be this cruel.

A tear escapes my eye as I look down at Poe, but I don’t bother to wipe it away.

“I know the word wife probably doesn’t mean a lot to you anymore. It’s like… the main word in my vocabulary,” He chuckles, taking a breath and trying to collect himself before he carries on, “As far as I’m concerned, you’ve been my wife since the moment I met you, and now I want to make it official… so, what do you say? Will you be my wife?”

*******

my wife tag list:

@thescarletknight2014

@starrykitn

@starlite41

@loki-an-idiot

@kasiarella

@itsfangirlmendes

@peachdameron

@dantesgothgf

@uneniffler

@trapped-in-this-love

@bbuckysbeardd

@agents-assemble

@roserrys

@multifandomlife22

#poe dameron imagine #star wars imagine #poe dameron x oc #poe dameron x reader #poe imagine #poe x oc #poe x reader #poe x you #poe dameron x you

[warship005]

How to easily write a “Life is Strange” game

This is a parody. I love the Life is Strange franchise and I’m mostly just posting this to point out the similarities between both games for fun. 

DISCLAIMER: I won’t be considering “Before the Storm” and “The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit” in this post despite them being set in the same universe because BTS was developed by Deck Nine instead of Dontnod and Captain Spirit was made just because the events in that game couldn’t fit properly in Life is Strange 2.

Let’s begin. Here’s how to write a Life is Strange game:

1)Have two main protagonists (one of them being the playable character) and make them have a very close relationship -Max and Chloe (best friends/lover) -Sean and Daniel (brothers)

2) Give one of the two protagonists a special power -time traveling in Life is Strange  -telekinesis in Life is Strange 2

3)Make sure the power is never explained in the game but used as a catalyst for the plot instead  -Max’s powers first went off in the bathroom to save Chloe, which resulted in a storm to come -Daniel’s powers first went off  due to a great state of turmoil which killed a cop and put them on the run from the police

4)As part of the catalyst, someone innocent has to get shot and someone has to be a prick (and a direct cause of the innocent person being shot) -Chloe gets shot by Nathan -Esteban gets shot because their neighbor’s son was picking on Daniel (and the cop was an idiot)

5) Make sure the protagonist without powers is the punching bag and never feels happy for too long  -Chloe almost dies every 5 minutes cause fate and also has to deal with what happened with her dad and Rachel -Sean has to constantly deal with his dad’s death, racism, the police, losing an eye and other traumas he got along the way

6) The playable protagonist has to have some interest in art and stop to “capture the moment” -Max takes pictures -Sean draws 

7) A dog dies -Pompidou (determinant) -Mushroom

8) Give the playable protagonist a love interest of the opposite gender which people will take but would still rather have the same gender love interest (either way, the romantic part of the game is short term and doesn’t play such a big part outside the respective episode it happens) -Max can kiss Warren in episode 5 but people would rather have her kiss Chloe, (which she can)  -Sean can end up with Cassidy in episode 3 but people would rather have him end up with Finn (after episode 3, the romance is barely brought up in one of the endings of the game)

9) Have a religious character in the second episode  -Kate Marsh -Claire Reynolds

10) Have a depressed religious character that attempts suicide -Kate Marsh -Jacob Hackerman (he said that “he tried to hurt himself” but the Wiki page says he attempted suicide, and given his background, it doesn’t like that much of a stretch since Lisbeth tried to make him leave)

11) Something bad can happen to the friend of one of the protagonists (DETERMINANT)  -Kate can kill herself -Chris can get hit by a police car

12) Have episode 3 end with some nice sunlights shots along with a feeling of dread  -at sunset, Max goes to visit Chloe in the new timeline and she finds out she was in a car accident and barely staying alive -at sunrise, inside the ravaged house, all the characters are unconscious due to Daniel’s powers going off the previous night and Sean has a glass shard in his eye, ruining it forever

12) Have the characters SOOO close to happiness in the last episode but snatch it from them right before they can get it again and again -whenever Max thinks she’s in the right timeline she has to go back again and again to the point where she ends up in the Dark Room again -whenever Sean thinks they’re safe, the police and racists jerks are on their trail

13) Have the ending of your game be bittersweet because this series should be called Life is Unfair instead -Max basically has to deal with the Trolleybus Problem -Sean either goes to prison unfairly, or he dies, or he and Daniel live separately, or they both end up living on the run as criminals

BONUS TIP: Have David Madsen show up.

#life is strange #life is strange 2 #lis #lis 2 #max caulfield #chloe price #sean diaz #daniel diaz

[skyguyed]

the normalization of abusive behavior in reylo

for those wondering why some people are calling reylo an abusive ship, below the divide are examples and explanations from The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi where Kylo Ren displays abusive behavior towards Rey.

This is important because abusive/toxic actions in fiction are often normalized to the point where viewers may not notice abusive behaviors as red flags, or may grow to see abusive behavior as normal, even romantic (or valid precursors to romance).

This post will also discuss the role of fictional portrayals in shaping reality, and why I believe supporting reylo means normalizing abuse.

Thank you in advance for your time and energy to read this. 

The purpose of this post 

This post (essay, really, it’s gotten pretty long) will examine every interaction between Rey and Kylo Ren, and will point out where and how abuse occurs in this relationship. I will also discuss why this matters.

This post is not meant to police anyone or insult, nor is it meant to incite disrespectful arguments. It is not a call for censorship. The purpose of this post is to help unaware reylo shippers understand where and why reylo is abusive, to help fans recognize abusive behavior, to assess the relationship between fiction and reality, and to discuss why I believe supporting reylo means normalizing abuse.

Trigger warnings for mentions, descriptions, and discussions of violence, domestic violence, abuse, and rape.

Legal definition of abuse:

According to the judicial branch of California,

The domestic violence laws say “abuse” is:

Physically hurting or trying to hurt someone intentionally or recklessly;

Sexual assault;

Making someone reasonably afraid that he or she or someone else is about to be seriously hurt (like threats or promises to harm someone); OR

Behavior like harassing, stalking, threatening, or hitting someone, disturbing someone’s peace, or destroying someone’s personal property).

Read more about Domestic Violence.

What abusive behavior does reylo display?

Kylo Ren exhibits these types of abusive behaviors towards Rey (timestamps indicated when appropriate):

Immobilizing her 

Using the Force in the forest on Takodana (TFA, 1:17:32)

With physical restraints in First Order custody (TFA, 1:25:40)

Threatening her with a weapon 

With light saber, while she’s immobilized by him (TFA, 1:18:00)

Stalking her

“You still want to kill me.” “That happens why you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask.” (TFA, 1:26:08)

Putting down her friends

“Where are the others?” “You mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends?” (TFA, 1:25:57)

Kylo Ren called Rey’s parents “filthy junk traders” (TLJ 1:48)

Hurting her friends: Finn, mortally (TFA, 1:54:42)

Not to mention killing his father Han in front of her, who had become someone she trusted.

Entering her (mind) without permission (confirmed by JJ Abrams as an intentional rape parallel in a Facebook post to Daniel Fleetwood, since deleted/made private - see summary here)

This happened twice- once on Takodana when he had her immobilized (TFA, 1:18:12), and then again in First Order custody: “You know I can take whatever I want.” (TFA, 1:27:00) despite her tears, fear, and obvious discomfort and protests

Threatening to expose her secrets (where is BB-8 and the map to Luke Skywalker)

Attacking her with a weapon

Also using the force to attack her (multiple times)

Rendering her unconscious (real world equivalent: drugging or physical violence)

First on Takodana with the Force, (TFA 1:13:32), then on Starkiller Base, by launching her into a tree (TFA 1:51:24)

Trying to manipulate her (into joining the Dark Side)

Snoke may have initiated their force bond, but as soon as Kylo realized what it was, he started using it to make Rey sympathize with him

Kylo Ren feeds Rey only part of his side of the story, painting himself as a victim (leaving out how he slaughtered/turned the other students, and what he did to concern Luke in the first place [re: the “darkness rising in him,” TLJ 1:00:33])

Gaslighting and verbal abuse: “You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You’re nothing... but not to me.”

“Your parents threw you away like garbage. You can’t stop needing them.” (TLJ 1:12:02) He hangs this over her head, again at TLJ 1:31. And “the truth” at 1:48.

Kylo also literally abducts Rey after knocking her out, although that isn’t on the cited list. And he frames her for murdering Snoke after she wouldn’t join him, which puts a huge target on her back. And um, tries to actually kill her (“BLOW THE PIECE OF JUNK -- OUT OF THE SKY!”)

Kylo’s own manipulation, abuse, and gaslighting by Snoke do not excuse his treatment of Rey. (Finn was abused and brainwashed, too. And he chose to turn better.)

Here are resources for abuse victims. 

Why the interrogation scene has clear rape parallels

This is not meant to cheapen or lessen the trauma faced by physical rape/assault victims. I understand that this comparison is upsetting to some people because, since it is presented on-screen as a parallel, it could be argued as much less severe or even be seen as trivializing the plight of real-life victims. I’m not trying to speak for all abuse victims when I say this, but as a person who has experienced sexual violation, I can’t help but see a clear parallel here. 

The interaction is highly invasive. Rey is terrified and protests when she is able to. Kylo Ren tells her shit like not to be afraid, etc. (which sounds like stuff abusers say). She tells him to stop (1:27:39) “Get out of my head” and still he proceeds, ignoring verbal and physical protests. This is not a healthy dynamic, and shouldn’t be portrayed as romantic, or as a prucursor to romance. It’s clearly violating, and it’s triggering to a lot of fans.

When we do not acknowledge this scene as a nonconsensual psychological invasion of a person, I believe we are glossing over an extremely vital dynamic in this relationship. The fact that Kylo says to Rey, “I can take whatever I want,” shows an entitlement to her mind and body that he doesn’t deserve, an attitude shared by many abusers. It creates a power difference that forces Rey to fight back to regain control from him. I’ve seen people argue that he was “gentle” but gentle violation is still violation.

But they’re at war.

This really doesn’t excuse Kylo’s actions towards Rey, sorry. And even if they are at war, this kind of behavior he’s exibited towards her thus far does not make a good foundation for a healthy relationship. That trauma, those offenses will still be there.  

Also, if they’re at war, Rey has every reason to fight back, so saying that “Rey abused Kylo Ren back” when he’s the perpetrator is a flimsy argument. Her ability to “kick his ass” does not make her immune to abuse. It also shifts the blame for Kylo’s mistreatment from him, to her, which is vastly unfair, echoing the victim-blaming sentiment that’s pervasive in our own reality, that real victims face.

Why do we care if Reylo is abusive? It’s just fiction.

We should care that Reylo is abusive because fiction reflects and influences reality. This TED Talk discusses how fiction changes people by increasing empathy, and changes a person’s point of view. Fiction is powerful in shaping a person’s actions. Reading fiction helps readers navigate a real social world. Additionally, fiction can spark public dialogue and raise attention to real-world issues. Reading fiction has been associated with an increase in charitable giving and voting (x).

Here are some examples of fiction influencing reality:

Uncle Tom’s Cabin (1852) was the first major US novel with a Black main character, and it “ opened reader’s eyes to the realities of slavery and the humanity of enslaved people.” “Stowe’s candor on the controversial subject of slavery encouraged others to speak out, further eroding the already precarious relations between northern and southern states and advancing the nation’s march toward Civil War.” (x) Conversely, in modern times, it has helped popularize harmful antiquated stereotypes of Black people (x).

Joe Biden attributed historic changes in American views of homosexuality to Will and Grace (1998), which influenced American views on LGBT rights and helped open the door to more programs with LGBT leads. 

Fifty Shades of Grey (2011) popularized BDSM and caused a spike in reported sex-related injuries, and has been accused of perpetuating dangerous abuse standards. A 2014 study showed correlation between the novel’s readers and eating disorders, abusive relationships, and binge drinking. 

Star Trek has been vastly influential. Astronaut Mae Jemison (the first Black woman in space) was inspired by Lt. Uhura. The show featured American TV’s first interracial on-screen kiss. Steve Wozniak cited Star Trek as an influence for co-founding Apple (x). Star Trek has encouraged many people to pursue a career in science (x).

Jaws (1974) caused beach attendance to fall the following summer, sparked an increase in shark trophy hunting, and demonized sharks in the public eye. (However, shark research received more funding.)

Six in ten Americans get their HIV/AIDS information from the media (x). Musicals like Rent (1993) helped humanize people living with HIV/AIDS, as well as LGBT people. Rent has also been cited as helping encourage LGBT people to come out.

The Turner Diaries (1978) is a novel cited by white supremacists.

Lolita’s (1955) sexualization of a 12-year-old girl has impact on modern celebrities wardrobe choices and image.

Black Beauty (1877) caused the bearing rein to be banned in Victorian England and inspired animal welfare activists.

Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle (1906) portrayed harsh working conditions for immigrants in industrial areas, and raised awareness and produced public outcry which directly led to the passing of the Meat Inspection Act and the Pure Food and Drug Act, both in 1906.

After the release of 13 Reasons Why (2017), schools saw an increase in student self harm and suicides, and related internet searches. 

Psychologist Raymond Mar writes, “Researchers have repeatedly found that reader attitudes shift to become more congruent with the ideas expressed in a [fiction] narrative.” “For example,if we watch a TV program showing a sexual encounter gone wrong, our own sexual ethics will change... If, however, the show displays a positive sexual encounter, our own sexual attitudes will move towards the permissive end of the spectrum.”  (x pg 150)

In one study, 19% of respondents said that after finishing a work, a character’s voice stayed with them, influencing the tone of their thoughts (x).

More resources:

100 stories that changed the world

The power of fake gay (and black) friends: We form judgements about characters the same way we form judgements about people.

Readers may change their beliefs and thoughts to match a fictional character’s

The importance of framing in relationship portrayal, an essay by an abuse victim. This essay is very long but it is a must-read. It also touches on the fact that the power of fiction is more than just having fun and our experiences shape how we interpret media.

Abduction as Romance - a harmful trope where the abductor is framed as “a decent guy” at the end. (20-min video, well worth the watch.) Danger is portrayed as a sexy trait, while the disempowerment of women is fetishized. The video also comments on how often white guys get away with it, while men of color don’t. Also, see commentary at the end of the video about what real redemption means.

Yeah, but how does supporting reylo influence reality?

Supporting Reylo means that we’re giving credibility and validity to violence at the beginning of a romance. It’s like saying to a child who got pushed by another on the playground, “oh, they’re bullying you because they have a crush on you.” It’s promoting a fundamental entitlement and disrespect. 

Impressionable young people seeing this abuse treated as a desirable dynamic, as conditions that could lead to romance, are being primed to accept this or even emulate this in their own relationships. When we see this treated as acceptable in fiction, we are primed to see this as acceptable in reality.

Why not promote healthier dynamics? Why not rehearse the rejection of abusive behavior? 

 A look at canon

So, let’s not forget, that in canon, Rey and Kylo Ren are not in a relationship. So, some say, that means it’s impossible for this to be abuse. However, by suggesting that these characters should be in a relationship is harmful because it romanticizes rocky starts to relationships, and physically violent starts to relationships. 

More reasons why Kylo Ren is dangerous

While Kylo Ren has been shown in canon to be able to freeze or immobilize people, instead he mortally wounds Finn, who is clearly Rey’s friend and defender, in order to intimidate her and overpower her.

Not to mention that throughout the film, he displays characteristics of an abuser, such as violence towards others, (uh, murder), destruction of property, and other characteristics. It may be argued that these outbursts are symptoms of mental illness. It may also be argued that Kylo Ren is a victim of abuse himself, by Snoke. However, none of this excuses his shitty behavior. Being mentally ill or also an abuse victim does not grant one a free pass to act abusive towards others. 

Kylo Ren also tortures and invades and abuses Poe Dameron. Thank god I haven’t seen anyone shipping them. Kylo Ren is an abuser, y’all. 

Oh and one more thing? Kylo Ren never uses Rey’s name in the TFA; he doesn’t see her as a person, just an object to overpower, an obstacle to beat down. He doesn’t use her name until The Last Jedi, when he begins to try to manipulate her, rather than indimidate her with force alone. Then she becomes a tool to him. Clearly he still doesn’t value her as a whole person. Again, not romantic. Dangerous and toxic.

Why I’m still against Reylo even if Kylo is redeemed

It’s not a woman’s responsibility to “fix a damaged man.” (It’s not anyone’s responsibility to use romance to “fix” anyone, actually. Romance is not a cure for abuse.) The burden of redemption should be on the villain alone. Kylo had plenty of opportunities to accept help. Additionally, we shouldn’t support abusive behavior as a start or precursor to romance, because that’s a really harmful message to send. And, previous acts of violence are the biggest predictors of future violence, so I’m wary of them entering a relationship without significant amounts of therapy and reform on Kylo’s part.

What do we do from here?

Don’t support Reylo. That’s it. No conditionals. No “well if they change” no “well they’re fictional so they can be written differently” no AUs, no. Please don’t promote a relationship that is based in abuse. 

I’m not saying we need to sanitize our fiction of abuse or of abusive relationships. That’s not going to make them go away in real life. I’m not trying to censor or silence anything. I’m trying to make sure that abusive relationships are CLEARLY FRAMED as abusive, and not promoted, normalized, or glorified in any way. (See my previous post discussing this.)

Have fun, but understand that fiction is powerful and influential, and it’s our responsibility to engage with it in a way that supports healthy relationships.

#anti reylo #star wars #anti kylo ren #arop #ok to reblog

[letsbreakhearts]

Rules and Muses

Before interacting, there are a few things you have to consider before approaching me:  

First things first: Mun =/= muse! The most important rule of mine, because I do write about all kind of dark and disturbing topics, since I have no trigger whatsoever and like to explore the depth of mankind's cruelty in fiction. Obviously said content is tagged as tw:(name of the trigger) and therefore easily manageable with the right tools. If this still rubs you the wrong way, because you either are a prude puretist, really easily triggered to past trauma, or simply not able of separating fiction from reality, I ask you politely to stop reading here and leave this blog instantly. Consider yourself warned. Any further consumption of this blog’s content is on you, mate. 

All heavy topics in threads need some upfront plotting, to keep it all consensual. I don’t want to accidentally throw someone off. Plotting in general is always preferred.

This blog is nsfw by default. Minors and Personals get blocked most of the time.

All ships are welcome, but I obviously have my favourites and some I never wrote before definitely need more plotting than those I write on a regular basis. 

Reasons for me to unfollow/soft block you: Your rules say: If you write “xy” I will not follow/block you; You are literally spamming my dash with personal/ooc posts; You post/share a lot of negativity and whining; You share anon hate, instead of just turning the anon function off, aka get involved in drama that is easily avoided; You participate in call out culture; OOC political commentary/activism and other non-rp related stuff that I don’t want on my rp dash; Ship bashing and kinkshaming; You turn out to be an Anti of some sort; You share any hate for the character or actors I write as/use as FC. Disclaimer: You are of course free to do whatever you want with your blog, as I am free to avoid your blog without any reason given.

If you ever feel the need to unfollow or block me, just do it. No explanation needed.

If I lose interest in interacting with you, I will unfollow and most likely softblock, or even hardblock you without any reason given. Please don’t take this too personal.

What does private mean: I have my fav mutuals who occasionally get more replies than others. Plus I am very hesitant about following new people unless you offer me something I hadn’t found a partner for before. On this note, If you approach me first, I want you to have a vague idea what you want to write with whom of my muses and some time and creativity to plot a little bit beforehand. 

I have the right to not interact with you without any reason given. 

Don’t reblog any of my self written ooc posts and psas. Same goes for rps you aren’t taking a part in. 

Asks and memes are no longer my main focus. Do not spam my ask box but rather plot with me via IM please. 

I do all lengths of threads. I also tend to edit my posts and use icons but my writing partner don’t have to. Edit your post after your own liking, or not at all.

Muses with the same FC, as well as duplicates are welcome obviously.

I don’t do passwords!

My IM is open for plotting.

For those who are interested in such things: Hello, I’m Fuchs, a lazy German hobby artist and writer. English isn’t my first language and I procrastinate A LOT. On top of that I sometimes just need ages to be happy with the stuff I write. Short: Please be patient with me, if you see me online but don’t reply right away. I also tend to have a lot of threads. So please don’t ask me to reply faster. Not gonna happen.

Muses

BOLD = Mains || Italic = only as request || Others: Available but not always muse for

Detroit: Become Human

Gavin Reed (D:BH)

RK900 (D:BH)

Leo Manfred (D:BH)

Markus (D:BH)

Daniel (D:BH)

Cole Anderson (D:BH)

Hank Anderson (D:BH)

Connor (D:BH)

60 (D:BH)

Captain Allen (D:BH)

Marvel

Tony Stark (MCU)

Quentin Beck (MCU)

Steve Rogers  (MCU)

Peter Parker (Tom) (MCU)

Peter Parker (Andrew) (Sony)

Peter Quill  (MCU)

Frank Castle  (MCU)

Scott Lang (MCU)

Eddie Brock (“MCU”)

Benjamin PointDEXter  (MCU)

Flash Thompson (MCU)

Bucky Barnes (MCU)

Erik Lehnsherr  (MCU)

Harley Keener (MCU)

Peter Parker (Tobey) (Sony)

Peter B. Parker (MCU)

Brock Rumlow (MCU)

Sherlock BBC

Sebastian Moran (Sherlock BBC)

John Watson (Sherlock BBC)

Witcher 

Jaskier

Geralt of Rivia 

The Boys

Homelander (The Boys)

William Billy Butcher(The Boys)

The Walking Dead

Marlon (TWD Tell Tale)

Negan (TWD)

Rick Grimes (TWD)

Shane Walsh  (TWD)

Daryl Dixon  (TWD)

Carl Grimes(TWD)

Star Trek

James T. Kirk (Star Trek)

Leonard H. McCoy (Star Trek)

Star Wars

Poe Dameron (Star Wars)

Kylo Ren  (Star Wars)

General Hux  (Star Wars)

Finn (Star Wars)

Stranger Things

Billy Hargrove (Stranger Things)

Steve Harrington (Stranger Things)

Jim Hopper (Stranger Things)

Uncharted

Rafe Adler (Uncharted)

Sam Drake  (Uncharted)

Nathan Drake  (Uncharted)

Red Dead Redemption

Arthur Morgan (RDR2)

John Marston  (RDR2)

Far Cry

John Seed (FC5)

Joseph Seed  (FC5)

Jacob Seed  (FC5)

Staci Pratt  (FC5)

Men in Black

Agent H (MIB International)

Life is Strange

Nathan Prescott (LIS)

Sean Eduardo Diaz  (LIS)

Daniel Diaz (LIS)

Until Dawn

Joshua Washington (Until Dawn) 

Christopher Hartley(Until Dawn) 

Michael Munroe(Until Dawn) 

The Dragon Prince

High Mage Viren (The Dragon Prince) 

Crownguard Soren (The Dragon Prince) 

King Harrow (The Dragon Prince) 

James Bond

James Bond / 007 (FC: Daniel Craig) 

Kingsman

Gary “Eggsy” Unwin (Kingsman) 

The Nice Guys

Holland March (The Nice Guys) 

Blade Runner

K /Joe (Blade Runner 2049)

Man of Medan

Conrad (Man of Medan)

Blair Witch

Ellis (Blair Witch) 

Baby Driver

Buddy 

Breaking Bad

Saul Goodman

Jesse Pinkman

Walter White

Michael “Mike” Ehrmantraut

Todd Alquist

#rules #new muse #muse list #muses #r

[ivory-haired-queens-blog]

Unpopular Opinions: Fandom Edition

Hey none of you asked but I’m here to deliver so here are some unpopular opinions for the fandoms I’m in. Spoilers, duh.

Marvel:

I don’t like Natasha. Or Steve.

Pepper Potts is a top.

As much as I love Loki, his death was nessicary in Infinity War.

Steve should have killed Bucky in Civil War. He was a threat, plain and simple.

I ship Ironstrange/Supremefamily.

Clint should have died in Infinity War.

I love Tony Stark with my whole heart. (Not an unpopular opinion but you needed to know that)

I’m not happy with the end of Endgame.

10 years in the making....for you to do Thor like that?

Not because he’s fat or because he’s dealing with trauma, that’s totally acceptable.

What’s not acceptable is them making Thor into the butt of the joke because he’s fat.

I love the Antman movies.

I’m totally not biased because I loved lost.

(I’m kinda biased)

Shuri is the best Marvel character and would beat Tony Stark in a battle of wits.

(I’m so gay I love her.)

With as many years as Marvel has had the MCU, I am disgusted at the lack of diversity within the movies.

Like it’s 2019 and we JUST got a female empowerment scene in Endgame.

Like I want a gay superhero.

(We have a disabled one thank god. Love you Stephen.)

And don’t give me that Valkyrie/Captain Marvel BS because they never blatantly stated or showed it in their movies.

I want an Asian superhero bitch.

A superhero who is Muslim/Islam/and religion besides Christian.

I think that, as much as I hate Natasha and Steve, they should have been the ones that Bruce first sees in Infinity War. I know it set up the whole “earth is closed today” sequence but it didn’t make sense and was OOC.

I love Stephen Strange and he’s never done a single thing wrong ever in his life I would die for this man.

I like MCU Peter Parker over the origional movie Spider-Man.

Fight me.

I also like the Tony Stark/Peter Parker better than the Uncle Ben/Peter Parker so @ me.

The 100

I don’t ship Bellarke that hard.

Like yes, I think they’re obviously being groomed to end up together. I know the show runners will make them official before the end of the series. I’m not mad about that, I just don’t really care to be honest. It’s like, too obvious.

But there are some cute bellarke scenes

What they did to Monty was bullshit but what they did to Jasper was worse.

I feel no guilt whatsoever in saying that I think that killing all of Mount Weather was what they should have done from the beginning.

Yes, even the kids. Because if you kill their leaders, the men and women will fight back. The colony would have been left with a handful of adults, and a bunch of kids if the origional plan had worked. This is doomed to fail and honestly just killing them all would be better than seeing them kill eachother for food, power, whatever. If that makes sense.

I think that Finn deserved to die.

I think that Murphey deserves the world.

Charlotte fucking killed Wells. Yes she’s young but she knows better than to kill someone. Maybe not kill her, but we all know that Clarke wouldn’t have banished her like she did Murphey. Clarke has a gender bias because Murphey didn’t do anything and she wouldn’t have punished Charlotte as hard because she’s a young girl. I rest my case

Even though what he did was bad and wrong, I don’t think Murphey should have been banished. He’s right. They were all compliant and even excited when he was being hung, but when it’s a little girl all bets are off.

Like Bellamy brought the whole hostage thing upon himself because he fucking tied a noose around Murphey’s throat.

Again, not that what Murphey did was right. He didn’t have to act like that. Jasper didn’t do anything to him.

Also this segment is getting long but the show writers and everyone else just casually forgot that Murphey was TORTURED? Hello? Are we not going to acknowledge that?

I shipped Clexa with my whole heart.

Another actually popular opinion: what they’ve done to Raven’s character this season is bullshit. Her only role is Abby’s moral compass. This is the same girl who shuttled to earth in a Tin Can. She’s better than this.

What the fuck??? Happened to??? Jordan???

Like Madi stabbed him

And then they proceeded to not talk about it for like four episodes and then casually mention it in passing like “oh he saved Pria that means he gets to live”

Like they set up his character to be really important this season.

But he’s not.

I think that Murphey/Emori is the best ship.

I also think that Either Murphey or Emori or Both are secretly double crossing the Primes. (This comes out before the finale of season six)

They didn’t have to do Onyia like that

The opening of season three is so weak that I actually stopped watching the show around that time (I’d been watching since the beginning of season two) because there’s just nothing there in the first like 10 minutes and I couldn’t do it.

Maybe I’m just impatient but it’s bad.

I think that Octavia did the best that she could with what she had available and I think that’s she’s not a bad person for what she did with the fighting pits/cannabalism. And I know that if Bellamy had been in her place, he would have eventually done the same.

Kane was a whiny bitch in season 5.

Why’d the kill Diyoza(I can’t spell) like that?

I liked Joesephine. It was really fun to see Eliza Taylor be able to get a new character in the show. Also props to her for that last episode with pretending to be Joesephine and being Clarke at the same time.

I called the dude being Gabriel from the first time I saw him you peasants.

Octavia’s redemption arc this season is beautiful.

They did....that.....to Kane. I’m angerey.

Lost In space

Not enough people watch this show. (The Netflix remake or the origional)

Seriously guys it’s a good show.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it.

I love Don West with my whole heart.

I love Dr. Smith with my half heart.

I love the robot with my two hearts.

I love Penny Robinson with all the stars in the galaxy.

I love all of them okay.

There are no plot holes, no inconsistencies, no faulty science and anyone who says (or proves) otherwise is wrong.

It’s confirmed for a season two which should air in like the December-February time area.

It’s a Netflix show so you can binge the entire season in like a weekend.

Seriously watch it.

The Umbrella Academy

Five x Delores is weird.

Luther x Allison is illegal.

Klaus deserves all the push pops in the world.

The handler is hot.

The Comission killed Dave.

Luther is the most boring, Unorigional, straight white guy character I’ve seen in a long time. I hate him so much.

Allison is a queen but her character is brought down by her weird relationship with her brother.

Tbh if I was Allison you know I’d be telling my kids that I heard a rumor that theyd go the fuck to sleep. Like that’s a good thing. Idk maybe I’m just a sociopath.

Istanbul not Constantinople being played over a scene where five murders a squad of Commission people is the greatest cinematic masterpiece ever conceived by man.

“Where are you going” “to save the world” “oh is that all?” Iconic.

None of these are really unpopular but the show writers seem to think differently.

Diego has never done anything wrong in his life like yaaaasss bitch kill your brother at yo daddy’s funeral!!! Work!!!

PaTcH

AAaAHh

Big Theif - Mary is the perfect song to play over Klaus returning from Vietnam.

Will you love me, like you loved me in the January rain?

It’s up there with Goodbye July.

Speaking of Goodbye July....

Z Nation

Many people haven’t watched it

It’s like if The Walking Dead and Zombieland had a baby....and then the baby did a line of cocaine.

It’s wild.

Watching Garnet die ruined every sliver of hope I had in humanity.

I have a special place in my heart for this show because it’s the first show that me and my mom would stay up and watch the new episodes air every Friday. It brought us closer and I can’t thank the cast and show runners enough for this.

So maybe I’m biased, but you should watch it.

Having Murphey switch from being an anti-hero to a villain back to an anti-hero and then to a regular hero, amazing. Astonishing. The peak of human existence.

Even though he’s not entirely human.

What color is Murphey today? Is he pale, discolored, grey, blue, red? We don’t know!

Roberta Warren is the Black Goddess main protagonist that we deserve.

Addison Carver is a functional Bi.

10k is tragic backstory central but other than that, his character development is pretty lacking other than him persuing love interests.

None of these are really unpopular opinions but I doubt any of you have watched the show. It’s on Netflix. Watch it.

Oooooohhhhh George.

Georgia St. Clair could stomp me to death and my ghost would still want to fuck her.

Anyways I’m gay

God damn I have a lot of pent up Gay energy.

Murphey and Lucy have a realistic enstranged father/daughter relationship and it’s heartwarming.

And then they killed her off to save him.

Honestly if you name a character Murphey they can only be assholish bad boys with a good heart deep down sorry I don’t make the rules.

Also if you name a character Murphey I will love them with my whole soul.

I’m so mad they cancelled the show.

I’m infinitely more mad that they named that disgrace of a show Black Summer and claimed that it was a prequel....but it didn’t follow the same cast and had they not advertised it as a prequel I would never have guessed.

Black Summer gives totally opposite vibes than Z Nation does. I get that black summer is supposed to be the worst time that the zombie apocalypse ever had, with cannibals and no food, but it feels like s completely different show.

It’s like if The Walking Dead claimed that it is a prequel/occurs during Shaun of the Dead.

Like....no. They’re....no.

Anyway watch it it’s good.

Detroit: Become Human

Connor isn’t the best character.

This is an unpopular opinion post deal with it.

Markus has to be my favorite.

Honestly this game is so good and not even just graphics-wise.

It’s the same robotic sentience story we’ve been fed for years, but this time it’s from the Android’s perspective and this time all they want is to be free. That’s it.

I fucking hate North.

Hank is literally if Rick from Rick and Morty were serious.

The only correct way to play Connor is to walk the thin line between deviant and regular A.I. Without leaving out Hank. The correct thing to do is make Conner deviant at Jericho.

The only correct way to play Kara is to protect Alice with every fiber of your being. Meanwhile, get close to her. Do not get caught, even if that means dissappointing her.

The only correct way to play Markus is to lead a peaceful revolution. Also tell North to fuck off.

The border patrol guy who either gets Kara and Alice caught or knowingly lets Androids cross the border is the best character. Forget about Markus, this guy sees either “oh fuck androids are killing people, maybe we shouldn’t let this one cross the border” or “Androids just want to be free and are peacefully fighting for this. Let this one and her daughter through.” I love him.

LUTHER.

YES DADDY.

anyway.

Let Out The Bear He Just Wants To Say Hi :)

Even though I think Conner is overrated by the fandom, I do like him.

But he’s not a pure innocent cinnamon roll either.

It depends on how you play, but he has really violent options so stop the “He wouldn’t harm a fly” attitude.

But he is cute.

The home screen for the game is revolutionary (no pun intended) and I hope future game follow suit in making the first impression of the game something cool.

Stealing clothes/money/the fence cutters is literally okay.

Also if you put Kara in white hair you can die.

If in your first actual play through you got the Kara lives at the recycling plant ending but Alice dies, you can die too.

I’ve never actually seen the steal money and go to motel option play out because it’s stupid, especially if you don’t steal clothes. Like that’s begging to be caught.

Stranger things

Billy Hargrove is bad and just because he’s abused does not make what he does okay.

Harringrove is gross and I’m gay so my opinion counts as double.

That being said, there are some really cute fics about Harringrove and I can see the appeal of “good boy falls for mysterious bad boy with a dark past and trauma”

I’ve said I’m gay this whole post because I say it a lot, but I don’t like actually labeling myself but I like girls and boys and everything in between and I say I’m gay kinda as a joke when girls are hot.

That being said...

Steve Harrington calling himself Daddy made me feel things.

Strange things.

Haha get it I’m making a joke to distract you from the daddy part.

Steve Harrington is a good person now, but he was still an asshole before and he can still be criticized for his past.

I used to be hardcore Jancy but after season three I feel like Nancy needs and deserves a break from boys so she can figure out herself and who she is now and what she wants to do without the weight of boys and boyfriends constantly around her.

That being said i still don’t like Nancy because she was flirting/slept in the same bed with Jonathan whilst obviously having feelings for him while she and Steve were still a thing. It’s not cheating but to me it’s close enough to raise red flags.

Robin is perfect in every way.

I don’t like Jonathan. He’s creepy in s1, fine in s2, but then is s3 he doesn’t do anything to or about his male bosses when Nancy is being made fun of because she’s a woman.

Seeing Nancy’s class priveledge/Jonathan’s male priveledge clashing was so cool tbh

Elmax > Mileven > Lumax

Jim Hopper, with all his faults, is still a caring dad.

Plus him threatening Mike made me laugh so hard sksksksks

Steve Harrington deserves the world and then some.

Low key I really want s4 to give in insight on his family life.

I also want him to get an apartment with Robin.

Robins cute tbh but for half the season I though she was a Russian spy. I guess I was wrong.

Mrs. Wheeler shouldn’t sleep with billy (not that she can now) because it’s wrong, but the reason she wanted to is because her husband is so boring and she gave up on her dreams to be his perfect housewife. She wanted a challenge with Billy. Instead, she should leave her pushover of a husband and find someone better.

Anyway Steve Harrington deserves the world.

Yeah okay hate me whatever.

#Stranger Things #Stranger things 2 #Stranger things 3 #The 100 #Clarke Griffin #Bellarke #Z Nation #Roberta Warren #detroit become human #The Umbrella Academy #TUA #Hargreeves #Lost in Space #Robinsons #Will Robinson #Danger Will Robinson #Marvel #Tony Stark #MCU #Thor Odinson #Loki #Unpopular opinions

[truthbeetoldmedia]

The 100 6x07 "Nevermind" Review

Hello fellow watchers! Did y’all breathe a sigh of relief as I did at the end of this episode? And while I’m at it, I'd like to take this moment to say: I LOVE when TV shows address mental and emotional traumas in a physical way in the characters heads. Give me Sherlock mind palace games all freaking day! That said, let's dive into the episode:

Dad, I had the strangest dream...

We pick up exactly where we left off in “Memento Mori”: Jaux!Clarke going to sleep in the real world and real Clarke waking up in her old Ark cell inside her own mind, surrounded by all of her most impactful memories decorating the walls like hipster graffiti art in an Asheville alleyway. She “hears” her memories as she touches them and walks through the exit door, only to stumble into her “sanctuary” (aka the real church she raised Madi in for 6 years) and be greeted by her dead father. Or rather, her memories of her father being animated by her subconscious. He’s all kindness and warmth when he asks her, “What's the last thing you remember?” She realizes with a start “I died” but, as her father points out, she still has a beating heart. As her BFF Bellamy Blake asked once: “Are we still breathing?” as a response to “Is there still hope?” And that beating heart is all Clarke needs to get her survival spark back.

She enters the next door in her mind and is face to face with none other than A.L.I.E. (Welcome back, Erica Cerra! We’ve all missed you...mostly.) A.L.I.E. gives Clarke the 4-1-1 on how she is still able to have her memories and a foothold in her own mind. Of course A.L.I.E. is all like “I tried to save you from this pain” but Clarke still has zero patience for even her memory version of this show’s “Woman in Red”, telling A.L.I.E. “there is no joy without pain.” She does however follow A.L.I.E.’s advice and takes her memory of saving Raven from the chip and hides it. A.L.I.E. also mentions Clarke’s darkest memories, her ‘traumas’ if you will, and how she can’t “let them go”, still being things she just buries rather than face or make peace with. She tells A.L.I.E., her voice littered with confusion, “You say these are my memories but there’s something here I’ve never seen.”

Josephine enters stage left

That something is a rather jolly door, decorated for Christmas, with a mix of music, screaming, and gunshots coming from behind it. Clarke opens the door only to be startled by Ms. Josephine herself, in her original body (I’m assuming in her mind that is how she sees herself) walking through from her memories right into Clarke’s...

She takes a minute to give some fake science facts about how both their minds can share a body, but not forever, so somebody’s gotta vacate Clarke Griffin town...and Josephine doesn’t have a body to return to, talk about an awkward roommate situation. Clarke has suffered and survived too much to just give her body over to Josephine willingly. So a battle of the wits it is.

Josephine gives us some unsettling deeper looks into perfecting the mind wipes — she was “jacked” into people with active minds before, including a six-month-old. Lovely girl. But they weren’t tech-advanced minds like Clarke’s so Josephine needs to know what makes Clarke’s mind so special. I love this kind of expositional dialogue when you are getting much needed information, and the headspace of the speaker, and Josephine is the perfect mix of this. She is ruthless, a sociopath as Clarke calls her, or psychopath — take your pick. She gets Clarke thinking so she can infiltrate her thoughts. Upon seeing Clarke’s ‘cell’ covered in all of her memory sketches, Josephine’s “I rescind my compliment” was a great line. I am a big fan of using Josephine as an audience insert into Clarke’s mind, as well as a way to callback and maybe even “fix” issues from last season’s jumble of plot. Like when she’s inspecting the sketches and reaches the Madi in a shock collar moment from Season 5 her comment of “child abuse dressed up as protection. Cool” made me actually say “ Yasss! Point out that issue from Season 5, queen!”

“Are you hiding a memory from me, Clarke?” She is one crafty B and I am into a Moriarty/Holmes kind of showdown with these two brilliant and dangerous ladies.

Of course it manifests as a physical fight, too. As they are fighting for control over Clarke’s body Clarke goes straight gang fight and slams Josephine’s head in the door jamb over and over until she is “dead” — but this being a mind fight she easily manifests in Clarke’s mind again, ready to fight. Clarke, brave but never dumb, decides running and hiding in her own mind might buy her some time.

The ghosts of choices: past, present, and future

Clarke’s first stop in her memory maze is her most recent bad decision that haunts her daily: leaving Bellamy to die in the fighting pit. But weirdly it’s a projection of Octavia there to guilt and shame her: “I really thought you cared about Bellamy.” The explanation that Octavia gives for Bellamy not being in the memory himself (because Clarke can’t stand the idea of facing him) is both a great idea, and a weak one? Because the deep trauma they’ve been through

TOGETHER would have made Clarke’s memories and reactions so much more emotional and visceral had Bellamy been there talking to her at some point. (If they don’t give Clarke a mind/memory moment with Bellamy this season, they will be wasting the opportunity for cathartic angst between main characters most writers DREAM about.)

Still, Clarke’s desperate tearful pleas of “he forgave me, he understands” was a great moment to reiterate the importance of Bellamy’s forgiveness and what he thinks about Clarke. Josephine’s comment “even your projections hate you Clarke” really hit me in the feels. Clarke hates herself so much that she injects it into how she thinks other people in her life perceive her.  (With Octavia, she’s probably not wrong.)

Clarke runs from her ‘leaving Bellamy’ memory right into the cold arms of her decisions at ‘Mt. Weather’ and the horribly disfigured mind ghost of Maya Vie, one of the shows most true and noble heroes. It was so great to see her back! Though if Jasper or Bellamy had been in Mt. Weather along with her I think the emotional impact would’ve been greater. Still Maya’s snarky yet cutting “too bad I wasn’t in that group, huh?” when Clarke pulls out her classic “my people” line was perfect.

Clarke’s choices have left a lot of dead bodies behind and she has never had the proper time and headspace to deal with the impact those choices have had on her own mind, body, and soul. I’m hoping one good thing that can come out of her being a hostage in her own body is that she will come back having worked through a lot of her issues in her mind and emotions. I mean I can at least dream about this possibility, okay?

Creepy Maya making Clarke realize she’s in control of her thoughts and memories was great. Josephine falling for her trap because she is so used to being in control of the situation was such a nice way to reveal she has weaknesses just like Clarke, hers being extreme hubris.

Clarke saying “Me? I’ll find a way to survive. I always do”  was such a “yassss! That’s my Clarke Griffin!” moment for me.

Also Josephine letting herself get shocked to “death” because she’s bored was such a nice touch to show her level of crazy town.

Finally we get to “that place”, the dark traumatic place Clarke hides her darkest, most hurtful memories: through the airlock she watched her dad get sucked out of and into the woods where the memories of the deaths of her only (so far) romantic partners are hiding. The first one being Finn, literally dying at her own hand because of Lexa! That should’ve been conveyed more, because it makes the fact that she loved and mourned Lexa even more traumatic and dark. But they seem to want to erase all the bad things Lexa did...which makes no sense to me but I digress. And in the lockbox two other deep loves are represented in the video of her dad and Jasper’s goggles. Also I teared up when Josephine tried to get the box open and Clarke finally gives in because she thinks Bellamy has given up the fight, so why shouldn’t she? And she puts in the code 0102 and tells her “you forgot Bellamy and Raven.” Ouch! My delinquent loving heart felt that pain deep. (I miss Season 1 so much sometimes guys!)

“Tell Madi I love her. Tell them all.” Bless her heart she was finally starting to live again and then they stole her and basically forced her to kill herself at gunpoint. But this brings us to my personal favorite cameo and part of the episode:

Hello to my son Monty Green! I love that Monty is the only version of a friend in Clarke’s  memory that isn’t hostile towards her? Or mad at her? Clarke knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Monty Green loved her dearly and trusted her and Bellamy to take care of his only child. I love that Monty is the manifestation of Clarke’s moral center but also of her self love and problem solving. He’s the motivation to do better for her. And his comment “you call this doing better?” is both sad and satisfying! Leave it to the person who literally saved part of the human race to imprint his way of thinking on to her.

Of course his chat gets her motivated to not go down without a fight. When he offered her his hand...I got a little misty eyed. I miss him so much. Money suggesting entering Josephine’s mind was a great way to get to know what makes her tick. And YIKE! Her mind is a dark place. Seeing her best friend end up being her killer because Josephine killed her lover, and then seeing WHY she killed said lover: he was against oblation, aka literally leaving newborns to be slowly eaten by the forest. One of the darkest things this show has revealed (and that’s saying something) to try and keep the bloodlines “pure” for Primes. That’s some serious post apocalyptic Nazi thinking to be sure.

I love the fact that Josephine’s memories are categorized chronologically basically using the dewey decimal system because she is extra af, and of course the idea that if they can access her traumas they can control her body because our deep-seated traumas are the key to who we are as people is something you could unpack for days. Monty’s quip “I like your drawings better”, which is really Clarke saying that to herself, was a nice nod to Clarke at heart being a creative more than an analyst, if people would just let her live. LITERALLY.

So they break in to Josephine’s first trauma I’m assuming? And boy howdy it’s a doozy. College age Josephine is working away at homework (judging by the Christmas decor in the Riverdale-ish diner cramming for finals.) It’s neat to see the world before the bombs. The newspaper with Diyoza’s capture story, the magazine with Becca gracing the cover like a Fortune 500 queen. I love world building. Anyway back to the scene:

Josephine and her friend’s studying is interrupted by a very uncomfortably realistic “nice guy” taking over their space and demanding Josephine’s attention and time. Only when she says no he turns threatening and violent, tapping the handgun he places on the table — only to use the weapon on himself as he lays the blame of his own choices at Josephine’s feet, his warm blood misting her face. All of us women have had a moment where we’ve prayed  this person in front of us didn’t do something like this, or worse, to us. It triggers Josephine’s mind to the point that she comes after Clarke in a fury, tossing her out of her mind and not noticing she left her clever side (Monty) in the diner. Bravo Clarke! Also I would like to mention I know what happened to Josephine would be traumatic, but I feel Clarke has endured way worse? So kudos to Clarke Griffin for always being stronger than her darkest moment.

“I win” are Josephine’s first words upon waking up still in control of Clarke’s body (or so she thinks), with just a little nosebleed but she’s back among the living! And she knows how to permanently erase Clarke’s mind. Josephine’s day is starting much better than her previous night...or is it?

Because as she enters the room with her father and Bellamy negotiating for team space pops! to have a home. Bellamy “if we pretend you didn’t murder Clarke” Blake (as always his dramatic self) notices a “new” tic Jaux!Clarke has picked up, finger tapping...and upon further study he notices a pattern:

She’s tapping out a message! In Morse code!! (Shoutout to Earth Skills teacher Charles Pike! You legend!) Clarke Griffin is pulling a Will from Stranger Things and calling Bellamy through blinking the Christmas lights of the diner into Morse code. And he’s finally “ in range” for her 2200th message! He knows within two seconds it’s her trying to tell him she’s alive. There is no doubt, all bets are off, Clarke Griffin is ALIVE. “We’re gonna get her back” he says to Miller, smiling. Screw peace. It’s not worth it if she isn’t in this world to share it. Heart Bellamy is back, benches! AND I AM HERE FOR IT.

Final thoughts and tidbits:

I really wish they would’ve shown an old scene of Wells since they couldn’t get it worked out to have Eli Goree back.

I loved the tight dialogue scenes and limited character focus again in this episode. There’s just too many characters to focus on all at once. On that note: my kingdom for a Bellamy-centric episode where we get to hear his innermost fears, hopes, thoughts. Give it to me.

I really loved the concept of this episode and how it reminded me that this is the same Clarke Griffin from the pilot, and the Mt. Weather. Sometimes this show feels it’s grown too far from its roots.

Eliza has become so good at micro expressions.

I love Josephine as the “Anti-Clarke”: she’s smart, artistic, cute, blonde, and deadly. Just like Clarke, but where Clarke wants everyone to have a chance at life,only using her power when she feels cornered, Josephine enjoys being privileged and judging who’s fit to live from her seat of power. She likes playing God. Clarke loathes it. Josephine and Sanctum are a physical manifestation of all the “big bads” this show has ever had: there’s some A.L.I.E, Lexa, Dante, Cage, Pike, Diyoza, Octavia,McCreary, Nia AND Clarke at her most ruthless wrapped up and baked into Josephine and the people of Sanctum. Echoing all the lessons learned, and not, throughout the seasons. It’s working really well for this season.

Check back next week for our thoughts on “operation get Clarke back” here at TBT!

Gina’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

The 100 airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

#The 100 #Nevermind

[dangermousie]

Happy 2019, which I rang in with some fantasy and scifi

Gods So, anyway, here is what I have been reading lately

OLD SCHOOL FANTASY

You either love the 80s/90s stuff or find it old-fashioned enough to set your teeth on edge. Luckily, I am in the former camp.

Melanie Rawn, the Dragon Prince - first in her trilogy, this is part fantasy novel (dragons! politics! magic!) and part a delicious bodice ripper romance (true love! mind wipes! ripping of clothes!) You either love that stuff or you don’t. Like a lot of old-school fantasy, it tends not to have too many shades of grey characters, but sometimes you just want the hunky prince Rohan and beautiful magician Sioned to be gorgeous and noble and heroic and sexy and ripping each other’s clothes off. 

PS. I got it for the cover. Do me, Rohan!

I am certainly getting the second book in the series.

PPS. Trigger warning for sexual assault of both hero and the chief female villain. It’s a VERY 80s book. 

Jennifer Roberson, Tiger and Del series - I love this!!! I tried and failed to get into her Chronicles of the Cheysuli, but Tiger and Del is great great stuff. (Also, if you are looking for POC protagonists, look no further than Tiger.) Tiger is a great sword dancer from the south, Del is a sword master from the North. Together they overcome traumas, defeat enemies and their pasts, and save the world occasionally. Oh, and fall in love. This is a wonderful, wonderful series from beginning to end, with two such complex and complicated protagonists (and how awesome that Del is often emotionally unavailable, vengeance driven, scarred and yet viewed as loved and loving. And Tiger is just amazing.)

Judith Tarr, Spear of Heaven (Avaryan Respendent) - This is the second book in the second trilogy in Tarr’s interconnected six book series (first trilogy is Avaryan Rising and takes place long before the second.) First off - Rising made me insane. I loved the first book, but the last book made me rage because Tarr wanted me to root for characters I wanted to murder and view as bad or misguided the characters I came to love. It was a bold gamble, but it failed. Still, I love Tarr’s prose (it often reads like poetry), I often love the characters she creates, and while the plot is hard to explain (it deals with the royal family and its use of magic, and worldgates that allow interplace travel failing, is the closest I can come to it), it’s so well-written, I don’t even care. Also, POC protagonists galore. And romance.

Kate Elliott, King’s Dragon (Crown of Stars) - The first book in the seven book series. I’ve posted about it recently, so I won’t do too much, but it’s gorgeously written and well thought out and I am in love with slowly discovering her sorcery power and recovering from trauma Liath and illegitimate son of King and commander of his troops, intense as hell Sanglant. HOWEVER OMG I MUST PROTEST because at the end of book 1, Sanglant is captured by that world’s version of Vikings and is now a slave of their chief magician who has put an iron collar and chains on him and made him one of his killer dog pack and by that i mean LITERALLY THREW HIM AMONG HIS DOGS TO SEE HOW LONG HE CAN FIGHT THEM OFF AND KEEP THEM IN CHECK AND BE TREATED AS SUBHUMAN AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY FAVORITE CHARACTER OMG AND SANGLANT IS ALL YOU CAN’T BREAK ME BECAUSE MY HEART IS WITH ANOTHER AND NOT WITH ME MEANING LIATH AND I NEED TO STOP. 

YA FANTASY

I am a sucker for YA fantasy even if I am much too old to be the intended audience. 

Mindee Arnett, Onyx and Ivory - our heroine used to be a noblewoman, but when her father tried to attack the King, she left and is now running messages in the desert. However, scary dragons are now appearing in the day, her first true love Prince Corwin has reappeared, and she may or may not be in danger due to her hidden magic. This is lovely and smart and well-written and it’s such a rarity to have two good, highly competent protagonists who act even while they angst. 

ROMANTIC SCIFI

This section should just be entitled “where were Rachel Bach and Sara Creasy my whole life”

Rachel Bach, Paradox Series - this trilogy is everything you ever wanted and never were gonna get - tough as hell heroine, a deliciously intense and angsty romance, Universe saving, conspiracies, mystic stuff, alien beings. Basically go read it and then wave your Devi x Rupert flag with me. Short summary is mercenary Devi really wants to become one of King’s elite guards, and to do so signs up with a trader named Caldwell, whose ship mysteriously gets attacked super often and short stint with whom often leads to guard positions due to extra combat experience. She quickly begins to discover everything is not what it seems. Oh, and the ship’s cook Rupert is surprisingly hot and surprisingly good with a gun. 

Sara Creasy, Song of Scarabaeus/Children of Scarabaeus duology - OK, this is mega smart (don’t read when tired) and twisty twisty twisty, but I confess that I was mainly in it because of Edie, a genius bio tech, coerced into helping with something Universe-changing, and Finn, a slave with a muting collar (for being on the wrong side of a rebellion), who is made her bodyguard because a chip will kill him if he is far away from her. This set up has my name on it OH YES. I loved Edie’s emotional integrity as much as I loved Finn’s endurance and the whole duology is AWESOME and EMOTIONAL and BRAINY at once. 

BRING OUT YOUR GUNS

I happen to like military fantasy some time, and both Wexler and McClellan are long-time favorites. 

Django Wexler, The Price of Valour - this is book 3 in The Shadow Campaigns five book series, which combines magic and 18th century France in a way. If you are looking for lesbian protagonists, this is a book for you, since one of our three narrators is Winter - Colonel in the army of that Universe’s version of Napoleon (only better as a person). The other two are another colonel - Marcus d’Ivoire and the ruling queen - Raesinia. The equivalent of French revolution is eating everyone alive in this installment, Winter is fighting in the war and trying to keep her relationship with first love Jane going, Marcus gets drawn in to help Raesinia save the city, Raesinia copes with not being able to ever die and being hunted by Priests of the Black (and I ship Marcus x Raes btw), and the whole thing is, as usual, awesome.  

Brian McClellan, Wrath of Empire - second in his Gods of Blood and Power series. I don’t love it as much as I do his Power Mage trilogy (I miss Tamas, who held that series together, and don’t feel as invested in the characters from the previous trilogy who appear here as much as I did there - Taniel is a good example) but it’s still solid and fun and Bill Sykes is a force of nature and Bo and Nila are back and Ka Poel is a lost Dynize Princess and I still ship her and Taniel in a terrified “don’t kill me” way so all is good. 

NEWBIE BUT GOODIE

S.G. Prince, Elvish - this is the author’s first book and the first in a series and I want more yesterday! Elves and magic and war and love and loss and gorgeous prose and OMG I SHIP THE MAIN COUPLE TO DISTRACTION.

#books #scifi #fantasy #kate elliott #judith tarr #melanie rawn #brian mcclellan #s g prince #django wexler #sara creasy #rachel bach #mindee arnett #jennifer roberson

[pokemonruby]

so i hear you have a fanmade pokemon region... 👀👀👀

this has been sitting in my ask box for… several weeks, and i apologize that it’s taken me so long to reply, love! i’ve been nervous about sharing my fan-made region simply because… well, i thought no one would be interested. but you know what? it’s important to me so i’m going to talk about it anyways! 

i won’t go… too into depth or else this will end up becoming a novel. but i will cover the basics! the region itself, gym leaders, the elite four, and most importantly: story! which i’ll briefly sum up, since it’s very lengthy and complex in comparison to the usual stories told in pokemon. except for like, b&w…. truly, that’s what i’m going for. those games were a masterpiece. 

the region has gone through several name changes, but right now it’s known as the “fairel region”! why? well, the region is inspired by popular fairytales and myths.. while the landscape is comparable to that of a studio ghibli film. vast, and needless to say – breathtaking the fairel region is known for its immeasurable species of pokemon, a majority of them ones that are considerably “rare”. i’m still working on the various towns, cities, and other locations… but i assure you, i’ll make them as unique as humanly possible. after all, the region itself is like magic – it’s even believed that it could be on another field of existence, due to the limitless phenomenons that occur on this, specific soil. but i’ll get more into that later… 

meanwhile, the… hypothetical player characters would be lydia and jack respectively – at least, those would be their canonical names. like x/y, they would be a tad older than your usual protagonists… around 16-17. their adventure begins in a seaside town known for its hospitality and love of the neighborhood pokemon, except for the player’s foster father… who, because of trauma, hasn’t allowed them to own one yet. in the meantime, however, they’re the assistant of the local professor, professor evergreen. her research lies in, you guessed it – the myths and legends surrounding the pokemon world, as well as the fairel region’s own unexplained phenomenons. one day, her research notes are stolen by whom the town considers a “delinquent”: finn, the rival, who’s basically a combination of silver and hugh… as finn also happens to be the player’s best friend. at the moment, it’s unknown why he took the professor’s notes … and he isn’t willing to give a straightforward answer, either. instead, after the player has obtained their starter (an eevee, since i’m not the best at creating fakemon & it’s a suitable starter imo) and defeated him, finn will simply leave, saying, “i hope you’ll understand one of these days, (insert name).” 

afterwards, the player’s guardian obviously learns that they obtained a starter… however, he’s not angered. instead, he apologizes… because it was wrong for him to have kept them from their long-awaited journey. once professor evergreen entrusts them with the pokedex, the player is tasked to unravel the mysteries that surround fairel… as well as record every rare pokemon living within it! of course, they’ll also take on the fairel region’s league… which is much more challenging in comparison to the norm. 

i’ll be brief with the plot from here on out, since it’s still in development! as the player travels throughout the region, collecting badges here and there… they eventually stumble into main conflict: a team, known as “team relic”, is attempting to reawaken perhaps… the most destructive, most powerful pokemon in history – you guessed it, the one and only “arceus”. how? well, in my world… which is different from the main series, i can already tell you… the azure flute can only be played with a specific melody, comprised of four tablets. the tablets, in which, are guarded by the members of the elite four… but as for the azure flute itself? i now introduce, the fairel region’s champion…  victor! a famous explorer/archaeologist who aids the player on their journey, all while trying to put a stop to team relic’s nefarious scheme. 

for now, i’ll hold off on explaining the rest of the plot… unless there’s people who are actually curious to know how everything plays out. let’s talk about the gym leaders now, instead! in order, it’s… grass, water, steel, ghost, ground, fire, dark, and flying. i’ll also put off describing the gyms themselves, or else this will become exceptionally long… perhaps i’ll make a seperate post about it! at the very least, i could give a bit of insight as to whom the gym leaders are. 

wisteria is the grass-type leader, a kindhearted, older woman who cares deeply for pokemon and is the caretaker of an immense garden. clarissa is the water-type leader, the youngest and a bit cocky, but has a soft spot for her fish companions. arthur (who’s my personal favorite) is the steel-type leader, who is passionate about theater and is quite literally, dramatic, but also strong-willed and mature. the ghost-type leader is geoffrey, a seemingly gruff, unsoicable older gentleman who not-so-secretly cares for the town’s children and even tells them folktales from time to time. the ground-type gym leader is nala, a headstrong and independent person who usually lets her fists do the talking. adrian is the fire-type leader, a hot-tempered and competitive, young man who’s always up for a challenge. pandora is the dark-type leader, a soft-spoken and somewhat aloof individual who is a good friend of victor’s, because of their shared love for myths. and finally, makani is the flying-type gym leader… who is a bit flighty, but also sweet and lovable. 

and now, the elite four! aka victor’s self-proclaimed “squad”. olivia is a psychic-type specialist who is fun-loving and a bit eccentric, but is very stragetic – making her a tough opponent. raymond, on the other hand, is a normal-type specialist that’s described as unwavering and tough, a fatherly figure, as the eldest there. juno is a fairy-type specialist, a bit socially awkward and isn’t taken seriously due to their “cutesy” team… but trust me, they’ll quickly have you in a tight spot. finally, there’s hawke – a dragon-type specialist and the son of johto’s very own champion, lance. now, his pokemon are simply brutal… when hawke himself is actually timid. hawke is also victor’s boyfriend so jot that down. 

okay, well! i’m going to end this explanation of my region here, for the meantime – but seriously, if anyone is interested, please feel free to ask more about it! it’s very dear to me & i’ve thought of a thousand things for it, trust me. 

#i'm such a loser i'm SORRY #long post #ask

[inquisitorhotpants]

So, TLJ

I was going to wait until I saw it again, but ... ehhh let’s get this done. God this post is gonna be long. I’m gonna miss stuff. 

I have 6 main gripes with this movie and I want to get those out of the way first.

That should have been Anakin, not that shitty-ass space frog. Fuck Yoda. 

The codebreaker Maz sent them for should have been Lando, and “we didn’t have time for Lando” is still nonsense. 

Rian, that is a bladderbuster of a movie, we did not need the milking scene, pal.

Also Joss Whedon gets tiresome, let’s dial back the jokes per second yeah? SW is tonally different from Avengers, let’s not make them all samey same.

Why was there no mourning for Han that was visible instead of only learned through “The Art of TLJ” (Leia’s hairstyle was Alderaanian mourning braids.)

... MOAR PHASMA, are you for real with this 0.3 seconds nonsense.

Now, I was so incredibly underwhelmed by TFA (I have literally never watched it since I saw it in theaters one time per my obligation as a Star Wars fan, I felt like JJ Abrams didn’t even care enough to make an original movie) that I wasn’t jazzed about TLJ.

I was very, very, very wrong in that. Holy fuckballs was I ever fucking wrong.

Luke

The flashback trio, holy SHIT. The sanitized, Obi-Wan’d version. Kylo’s “Bilbo seeing the ring” scary-ass wrong version. And finally, Luke’s “I fucked up so so much” version. Luke has always struggled with the Dark Side, with his anger. You see it at the end of RotJ where he’s just hammering on Vader, until he goes a step too far and goes “oh my god what am I doing.”  And then you find out that he bought his own hype, and the Order’s own hype, and drifted close to the Dark Side again, thanks to past trauma from dealing with Vader and his own established tendency to come close to the dark.

But he regrets it so so much. Mark’s monologue talking about that, where you can hear the pain and regret and guilt in his voice, it’s some of his best acting. Luke, driven by shame over what he almost did, driven by survivor guilt, ends up in a very dark place. Shame and guilt are real fucking beasties, and feeling that you failed your students, your nephew, your best friend, your sister, and the galaxy? Jesus. It makes my heart hurt just thinking about it. 

And then finally, someone with the same kind of optimism he used to have shows up, a real genuine Rey of Sunshine as it were. And she does exactly what he did with Vader. She tries, even though she has less of a dog in this fight than he does, and it’s just .... i love it, guys. 

That force projection. GodDAMN. Even Threepio can see him! HOLY SHIT. 

The mirroring of his sacrifice, buying our heroes time, of Obi-Wan’s, was so poignant. 

I cried like a baby all through the scene with him and Carrie. It was so good. 

And then his scene with Kylo, with this man who’s just devoured by anger and feelings of inadequacy and this desperate need to prove himself to a shitty-ass authority figure (Snoke). It was excellent. 

Basically A+ all around, gave Luke nuance and a real depth of character that I wasn’t expecting but I loved after I’d really sat and ruminated on it. He’s always been so positive, and things worked out for him (mostly), and this failure (and there’s the theme of the movie, how you handle failure) just walloped him upside the head and it felt so very, very real to me. <3

I also cried when his robes blew off that rock on Ahch-To. (I cried a lot in this movie lmao)

“Where’s Han?” (me: “fuck me i’m crying a lot.”)

Leia

SPACE MOM OMG <3

Look even if i’d hated the rest of this movie, I was going for Space Mom.

She’s so tired of fighting. She’s so tired of losing that which she loves most. She’s so ready to just sit down and rest. But she won’t, because Leia is the most resilient, and so stubborn and determined and fierce and amazing. Even getting shot into goddamn space isn’t going to stop her.

LEIA USING THE FORCE AND BY GOD SHE HAS SO MUCH STRENGTH IN IT because she’s so very much also Anakin’s kid. <3

Leia being so done with Poe’s nonsense. She’s not going to keep seeing these wholesale sacrifices. Winning doesn’t matter if you don’t have anyone left. The Resistance is not cannon fodder. They are not the First Order, and their people matter. 

Every single scene with Leia I loved. All of them. 

The hurt, and the pain, and the resignation in her voice when she says her son is gone, it broke my heart guys. You can tell she isn’t happy about it. You can tell she didn’t arrive at this decision lightly. Letting go of a family member who’s determined to pursue something destructive is hard as fuck. I’ve seen it happen in my own family. Leia has lost so, so much. Her planet, her parents, her adoptive parents, her husband, her son, and now she knows she’s losing Luke too? I just ... my heart.  

Leia and Rey at the end!  <3  Loved it. 

the goddamn tribute before the credits, yep cried there too. 

Rey

God I love Rey. 

Zero time for Kyle Ron’s nonsense.

GET REKD NERD /vrooms off in the Falcon

Her strength of character, her mirroring of Luke’s attempt at redemption, her positioning as light to dark, her “fine fuck you I’m leaving” when redemption is rejected, I love everything about Rey. 

THE REUNION WITH FINN <3

The introduction to Poe

Did I mention I love Rey? I love Rey. Rey is so driven and determined and amazing. <3 She has no time for an old-ass man’s nonsense. She has no time for a gold bathrobe wearing man’s nonsense. She has no time for Kyle Ron’s nonsense. “Look I have shit to get done so lead, follow, or get the fuck out of my way.” When Luke wouldn’t stand up (because he’s still fighting his own personal demons), she goes “fine, I’ll do it myself.” When Kyle Ron wouldn’t actually burn down the past, she goes, “fine, I have things to do.”

Rey is the Actual Best.

Rey uses her anger! Holy shit I love that. 

Kylo Ren

Look I have to give massive props to Adam Driver. The way he plays someone who’s been emotionally abused, fuck, that shit was giving me flashbacks to my own life. (snoke reminds me of my mom lmao my childhood was great.)

Unlike TFA, I actually found him compelling as a character this time. 

That scene in the elevator actually sort of hurt my heart a little. “Okay, FINE. You don’t think I’m anything? You think I don’t deserve this? THEN I’LL FUCKING SHOW YOU, I’LL DO IT WITHOUT IT, I’LL BE BETTER THAN YOU EVER EXPECTED” and the unspoken “and then you’ll finally accept me”. I got a little choked up, thanks past trauma. 

God I remember trying for decades to get my mom to love me, to say something nice that she meant, to just pretend she liked me. You agree with horrible shit, you feel beat down all the time, all trying to make this truly awful person think you’re somebody. 

So I understand part of Kylo Ren’s drive, tbh.

But he still chose the Space Nazis TWICE. And threw off the love of his family and his uncle. So fuck that jackass.

Look, my mom left literal scars on my face, and i didn’t burn down my school, murder the students, and go join the Hitler Youth. 

He’s the embodiment of “prior trauma does not excuse current actions”

A+ to Adam Driver for playing a character I can go “oh man that sucks, but I would still space your ass in half a second you shitty-ass human being.”

Finn

I love Finn so so so much and I could watch a whole movie just about Finn and Rose and Rey and Poe just ... generally wrecking rich people’s shit around the galaxy ngl.

I wish the fight with Phasma was longer. That was a bit of a letdown.

But Finn is just perfect. I love him. 

Can we talk about how he looked like an Actual Disney Prince running over to make sure Rose was okay? Because he did and I loved it. 

Also how he was totally prepared to give his life to save the Resistance because he has something to fight for, and I wasn’t SUPER sure he was going to be stopped and my heart was in my throat that whole time because Finn you fucking precious human being you. <3

THE REUNION oh my god 12 seconds of sublime perfection. THEY WERE SO HAPPY. (i cried. but i bet you knew that already lmao)

Rose

Cute, takes no shit, period. Love her. Awkward and adorable and just fantastic. 

She felt very reminiscent of Cassian with her “I’ve been fighting this my whole life” stance, and I loved it. 

Little acts of kindness can have huge rippling effects on the universe. <3

I can’t wait to see more of her.

Watching her and Finn totally fucking up rich people’s days, goddamn that was satisfying as fuck. 

I liked the kiss. It was pretty clear she was crushing on Finn the whole time (well maybe not to Finn lmao), it wasn’t drawn out. It didn’t make anything canon, and while I may be all about Finnrey and get more of a brotp vibe from Finnrose, I certainly wouldn’t be mad if it ends up going that way. I thought it was cute. “Fuck it, i’m gonna do it before i pass out.”

Poe

Poe getting schooled by two older, more experienced women, A+. 

Poe reminded me of Saw Guerrera, actually, speaking of Rogue One parallels. He wants to win, no matter the cost. Let’s remember that Saw ended up leaving the main body of the Rebellion over this. 

I thought Poe’s arc was great, tbh. He learned that you have to be able to ADAPT. 

I’m still personally “eh” on not disclosing anything, but at the same time, even if Holdo had told him at least a general idea of what was going on, I think he still would have sent Rose and Finn, he still would have staged the mutiny. His entire thing is “i know better” when he doesn’t, and he learns that he certainly does not always know better. There was a LOT of character growth there, and I loved it. So much of this movie adds depth to characters. <3

That intro to Rey! I loved it so much. 

POE AND BB8, enough said, god they were cute. THEY HAD A FOREHEAD TOUCH. <3 

General things I really liked

that scene where Holdo jumps into the ship. utter silence, light spilling forth from a source of darkness, GODDAMN that shit gave me chills. Amazing. 

The aesthetics, as always. Star Wars movies are just beautiful. 

Porgs! Jesus they were cute. 

“Jakku pretty much is nowhere.” lmao fucking sassy-ass skywalker men 

Literally everything with Chewie. 

THE SOUNDTRACK. 

Snoke Bond Villain-ing it up and promptly dying lmao. “Let me reveal everything about my plan including the fact that I faked this Force bond thing” /pulls a Darth Maul

THAT LIGHTSABER FIGHT GODDAMN. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend” basically. 

Luke flicking invisible dust off his shoulder. 

there’s a lot more but uh yeah i liked this a lot. I’m going to go see it at least one more time. 

#tlj spoilers #i've never had such an entire 180 on opinion from before seeing to after seeing

[emperorren]

11 questions - TLJ speculation edition

Tagged by @and-then-bam-cassiopeia​! Rules: 

post the rules answer the questions given to you by the tagger post 11 questions of your own tag some people 

WARNING! - potential spoilers below.

What’s that “ages-old mysteries of the Force” thing about? ah, I wish I had a better canon knowledge to come up with some spec both intriguing and supported by canon. Maybe it’s something related to the Whills / the origin of the Force / the original lore & knowledge about the Light, the Dark Side and everything in between, before it was appropriated and warped by the Jedi order? Possibly new information (or prophecies) on how to achieve the balance - this time for real - and/or how to destroy completely one side of the Force. It really depends on what Luke was searching on Ahch-To and what he’s after and whether the question is addressed in the actual movie. I think TLJ will delve into Force worldbuilding only to the extent it is absolutely necessary to sustain the main plot.

Who will lose a hand? Phasma. Or no one, hopefully. I doubt Kylo will be given another disfiguring trauma by the end of TLJ, it would be too similar to TFA. I also don’t think they would mutilate Rey.

how do you see finn’s character arc progressing in episode 8? I think his arc will parallel Rey’s in some way: he becomes frustrated at his newfound parental figures/friends/protectors (in his case, Leia & the resistance) and this friction will make him question his role & purpose among those people, but he finds an unlikely ally that inspires another call to adventure (hello, Rose). This is I think his TLJ-specific arc, but on top of that there’s his overarching narrative---rising as the future leader of the Resistance and possibly the one who sparks the Stormtroopers’ rebellion against the FO.

Will we get a shirtless Kylo and in which circumstances? Maybe, but not gratuitous---we might see some skin if there’s a scene where Kylo is in a bacta tank or is examining his scars.

Force ghosts featured Y/N - I don’t think they will be in TLJ (there’s already a lot on Rian’s plate) but maybe in IX. Perhaps in a dream or vision sequence.

Any expectations for Finn and Rose’s dynamic? Banter, lowkey flirting / romantic tension, some dramatic moments to build up shared trauma---that would be awesome. TBH I’d prefer their relationship to truly blossom romantically in IX rather than being rushed in TLJ, and I hope it’s not a rehash of F*nnrey, that it has its own distinct personality.

Rey vs Kylo, Rey vs Luke or both, which fight is more likely? Both, probably. Rey vs Kylo, I think it’s pretty much a staple and it’s probably gonna happen relatively early in the film. Rey vs Luke won’t be an actual physical fight but I can see Rey reacting impulsively (also due to her own dark side tendencies) if Luke pushes her over the edge or denies her the knowledge she seeks OR threatens to kill Kylo (maybe as a way to test her loyalty or the extent of her bond with his naughty nephew)

Will we learn who Snoke is and do we care? Probably not. Do we care? To an extent, yes, because Snoke as he is now is too much of a cartoon villain/Emperor rehash to be really convincing, and an unconvincing ubervillain results in a weaker story. I don’t need a super detailed backstory or a huge identity reveal à la Snoke is Plagueis, just the bare minimum to make me buy him as a threat / believe the writers did put some effort in his character besides “we need a Palpatine stand in but bigger and uglier”. Like, what is his purpose and why do we need him to be defeated beside the obvious---that he’s a space fascist, blah blah?

will angry space hermit luke ever get off that island? I think so. the third act of the movie will probably be set elsewhere, and I can’t see Luke not being in the third act of the movie.

What is Luke even doing on that island? See question 1. Searching for Force lore, probably, but whether it is to “destroy” evil or exorcise the dark side in Kylo or find a way to kill Kylo or because he thinks the best he can do is stop fucking with the Force and let all the remaining users destroy each other or he’s just being a nerd while he hides from the galaxy... I don’t know. 

Assuming Star Wars had a higher rating and could be more scary/gruesome/sexy/etc, what would you want to see happen in 8? More eldritch/cosmic horror. Just more horror in general. Maybe a more serious and less hand-wavy depiction of violence, war, genocide, slavery, grief, etc. More focus on the characters’ psychology including their past trauma/abuse and their less palatable traits. Rey and Kylo having a force bond with full fledged sensual and toxic consequences for both. I wouldn’t mind to see Rey go full dark side. Also a really hot kiss.

NEW QUESTIONS:

Do you believe the marketing when it says that TLJ moves the story in unforeseen directions, that nothing is going the way you’d normally expect, that the characters are being tested, etc.?

Will Rose and Rey interact at all?

Is Luke talking to Rey or Kylo when he says “this is not going to go the way you think?”

What is not going to go the way [they] think, exactly? In other words, WTF is Luke talking about?

Do you think Kylo is actually going to step foot on Ahch-To? If so, how long does he stay there?

Is Rey developing a new Force power, and if so, what would you like it to be?

Are we going to see Finn conflicted at the idea of killing his former army comrades?

Does the battle on Crait happen before or after Rey is tortured by Snoke?

Is Snoke torturing Rey real or vision?

How likely do you think Rey and Kylo having some sort of non-combative physical contact is?

What is the context of Kylo offering his hand to Rey?

Tagging: @screwdriver-and-souffle, @i-am-thesenate, @bonkai-diaries, @politicalmamaduck, @adolin, @valyriansword, @oldadastra​, @rex-luscus​ (only if you want!)

#meme #viii #sw spoilers #speculation

[pagankingfinn]

Once again me on the verge of crying because of trigonometry has just devolved into me ranting about my trauma to my friends who don't need the extra weight of my problems

#pagankingfinn #finn stop posting your trauma on main

[bellarkefanfiction]

if you love me don’t let go

written by: Brianna | @jvnscass

prompt: ‘Bellamy stroking Clarke’s hair until she falls asleep after her having nightmares, post s3, no nuclear meltdown’ for @100bellarketrash

word count: 1596

There was too much to deal with in the aftermath of ALIE. Her mother and Kane were working overtime to figure out what to do with the Grounders. The others were trying to rebuild Arkadia, and not just in a physical sense. Everyone was trying to deal with their trauma in their own way. No one had time to take on Clarke’s as well. It wasn’t uncommon to hear a chorus of shouting during the night. Not everyone could shut themselves down during a nightmare.

Clarke’s horrors didn’t happen when she was asleep because she rarely slept more than two or three hours a night. The hallucinations, and she knew that they were hallucinations, were happening almost constantly when she was awake. It was easy to ignore some of them and not so easy to ignore others. Some faces blended into the crowd. Others stood out as stark reminders of all that she had done. Her father. Wells. Finn. The list went on and on. They mostly left her alone, but it was hard to ignore the bloodstained face of her best friend when he stared at her from ten feet away.

It was tempting to confront them, to ask them what they wanted, but she knew that they wouldn’t answer. This was her sentence. She wouldn’t be locked away in a small cell up in the sky for her crimes. This was her way of paying for all that she’d done. As she watched her people heal and recover, most of them finding a reason to smile again, Clarke knew that it was worth it to bear it alone. She wouldn’t run away this time. It was selfish to think that she needed the exact people that she’d hurt the most. But she did need them.

“You look like hell,” Raven informed her bluntly.

Clarke tore her eyes away from Anya’s accusing glare.

“So do you,” she said with a shrug, turning her attention back to the half-eaten breakfast in front of her.

“We all do. But seriously, how much sleep do you get?”

She could read the hint of concern in her friend’s voice. Raven wasn’t the first person to approach her about the dark circles beneath her eyes.

“Enough,” Clarke said simply.

“Bullshit.”

She didn’t react to Raven’s disbelief. Three days ago, Monty tried to convince her to take a day off. He told her that her mother would understand and that the infirmary would be alright without her. Clarke knew that he was right. She still refused. Two days before that, Miller tried to get her to eat a little more at dinner. Clarke simply shoveled her extra food onto a child’s plate and walked away. Harper almost convinced her to talk about what was going on a couple of weeks ago but Clarke had shut down when she saw Charlotte standing just beneath the Arkadia sign.

“I’m just a little tired,” she sighed, hoping that Raven would leave it alone.

“We’re all tired, Clarke. Something else is going on with you.”

“Can’t you just leave it alone?” she asked.

Raven didn’t move or say a word. When Clarke looked up at her, she saw a hard look in her eyes.

“Last time you were dealing with heavy shit and wouldn’t talk to anyone about it, you disappeared for months. We didn’t know if you were alive or dead. None of us want that to happen again. So if you want me to leave it alone, find someone to talk to. Because I swear if I wake up one day and find out that you left again, I’m coming after you myself.”

With that, Raven stood up and squeezed her shoulder, the soft gesture contrary to her heated words, and turned to walk away. Staring after her, Clarke didn’t realize that she was crying until a tear slid down her cheek and caught on the edge of her mouth. Wiping it away quickly, she hurried through the rest of her breakfast and nearly ran from the meal area. Considering that she wasn’t really paying attention to where she was going, Clarke wasn’t too surprised when she nearly ran headlong into someone.

“Clarke?”

She sighed as Bellamy’s hands steadied her, warm and gentle on her upper arms. It was beyond tempting to slump into his arms and relieve some of her burden. But he had too much to deal with. Octavia was long gone and he bore that burden like he could have stopped her.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” she said, hating how her voice broke and gave her away.

He lifted her chin with a gentle hand and looked into her wet eyes with concern.

“You’re not,” Bellamy told her, wiping a tear away with his thumb.

Clarke bit down on her lip hard, shaking her head.

“Come on.”

Clarke didn’t know where he was taking her. She followed him without asking as he gently led her away from the crowd and towards the main building. Winding through several hallways, she kept her head down and hoped that no one would stop them. It wasn’t until she heard a door opening that she looked up and saw that they were in Bellamy’s room.

“Here.” He led her to his bed and urged her to sit down.

Once she did, he stepped away for just a moment before coming back with a damp towel. Sitting beside her, he pushed her hair out of her face and wiped her cheeks gently, washing away her tears with a soothing hand on the back of her neck. It was hard not to lean into him but Clarke fought to stay upright.

“Clarke you have to tell someone what’s going on,” he said quietly.

She started to refuse. No one should have to carry her burden. But then she remembered Raven’s words and saw the pleading look in Bellamy’s eyes.

“I’m not sleeping,” she finally said, her shoulders drooping and her fingers gripping her legs tightly. “I just lay there at night staring at the ceiling. I don’t know if I’m afraid or…”

She shook her head, not willing to go there.

“And I don’t know if it’s the not-sleeping thing or having both versions of ALIE in my head but something isn’t right.”

The words poured from her mouth like they’d been waiting to be spoken. Looking over at Bellamy, she saw that he had a frown on her face.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I’m hallucinating people. Everyone that I’ve lost. Everyone who is dead because of me. I see them every day.” Clarke couldn’t help the hysterical laugh that burst from her lips now that she’d said it out loud. “I’m going crazy.”

Bellamy shook his head.

“Remember when we were at the dropship and you’d find me taking almost every night watch shift,” he said.

Clarke nodded, though that seemed like ages ago.

“I threatened to tie you down on your cot unless you got some sleep,” she recalled.

“And you said that Miller would help you because I was no good to anyone like that. That there can be all kinds of side effects if I didn’t fucking sleep.”

She closed her eyes, leaning into him this time. With her head on his shoulder, she took a deep breath.

“Like hallucinations,” she acknowledged.

“Yeah,” Bellamy agreed.

She tried to get her eyes to open, knowing that she couldn’t stay like this. But it was hard.

“I’m so tired,” Clarke admitted.

“It’s okay,” he told her, shifting away.

She wasn’t really aware of what was happening until her head hit a pillow and she realized that he’d gently eased her down until she was laying on his bed.

“I have to go,” she said, managing to open her eyes. “I’m due in medical.”

“Your mom sent me to tell you,” Bellamy told her, stroking her hair out of her face, “the clinic will be fine without you today.”

Clarke somehow felt that he wasn’t telling the whole truth but she was too tired to argue. Before she knew it, the soothing feeling of his fingers running through her hair pushed her overly exhausted body into sleep. When she woke, Clarke’s mind whirled as she tried to gauge where she was.

“It’s alright,” Bellamy’s voice came from the darkness and she sat up, blinking several times as he switched on a dim light.

“How long have I been asleep?” Clarke groaned, still groggy and feeling like she could sleep for another week.

“Just a few hours,” Bellamy told her.

“Where were you?” she asked with a frown.

He gestured to the chair a few feet away from the bed and she could tell from his ruffled hair and tired eyes that he’d been asleep too.

“You didn’t have to sleep there,” she said.

“I’m fine,” he said.

Clarke shook her head, taking his arm.

“You’re tired too,” she said, pulling him down on the bed.

Maybe if she was less sleepy and more herself, she would have balked at this like he did. But Clarke wasn’t about to let him fall asleep in a chair again.

“Clarke…” Bellamy began.

She hushed him, already pulling him down to lay beside her on the small bed.

“Just sleep,” Clarke told him, already slipping off again as she turned on her side.

She didn’t feel him move and somehow felt confident that he wouldn’t. As she drifted back into sleep, Clarke could only hope that he would be there when she woke up. She’d have to thank him.

#bellarke fanfiction #bffnet #bffwritingteam #100bellarketrash #prompts #a: jvnscass #title: if you love me don't let go #oneshots #angst #wt: brianna #canon au #hurt comfort

[thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild]

The Effect of Modern SW Characters:

So I saw this post the other day that I found on Pinterest about the Mandalorian. It mentioned how his character is refreshing because one of his character traits is that he willingly accepts help. I completely agreed with that post and it got me thinking of other characters in the SW universe and how utterly stellar the representation has been in the past couple of years while all the new stuff is coming out. Now DISCLAIMER for the gatekeepers and toxic fans that read this: I do know for a fact that the representation in the films could be better and that most the main protagonists are white. This post does not signify that the representation in Star Wars is perfect, and it could definitely be better. That being said, there have been efforts to include more representation in the films and shows, not just in race but in so many other areas as well! Let me just list some of the other things that this new generation of Star Wars fans will grow up with that will have a positive impact:

They grew up seeing a female led Star Wars narrative with the sequels, and not only that, but she’s human and has flaws and yet still is a leader and saves the day. Princess Leia was great, but there’s a huge difference in her and Rey. This generation will grow up seeing a female Jedi, and that’s important. 

They grew up watching Star Wars Rebels, which is a Star Wars story, but with a family. Given, they aren’t related, but families come in all shapes and sizes. We get to see a different dynamic and yes there are father, mother, and sibling figures in the trilogy and other stuff, but this really takes it to a whole different level.  We’re used to seeing the mentor/student approach but here we see a true family dynamic with siblings for Gods sake. They grew up watching a family bond and be together and lift each other up and that’s important. 

They grew up watching a very racially diverse cast in the movies. In the new trilogy, two members of the new iconic trio aren’t white! Again, I’m not saying it’s perfect, but it’s still better than where we started! They grew up seeing Poe, Cassian, Din (Mando), Rose, Janna, and Finn, who are all of color and who are all main characters, and that’s important. 

They grew up seeing the Mandalorian accept help and be kind. He doesn’t kill mercilessly and even though yes, he does kill people, he doesn’t do it if he doesn’t have to. We see him take care of the child at any cost and even go as far as to adopt him. We see him readily accept help from Kuiil multiple times and each time he offers to repay him generously. Yes, the Mandalorian does kill people and bounty hunt, but that’s kind of in his job description. They grew up seeing a well mannered and kind male character and that’s important. 

They grew up watching emotional trauma and inner conflict, both of which are heavy topics to deal with. We see that Ben Solo has been emotionally manipulated and practically as broken as the kyber crystal inside his saber. We see Ben Solo learn to love again, even if he has a bad way of showing it. I know that “Reylo” in and of itself is a controversial topic, and we definitely see that at first, Rey and Ben’s relationship is toxic to say the least. The signs are all there, and I’m not saying that this part in the story was good at all, and I think it was a bad choice on the writer’s part to include lines like “Stop looking through my head”, “You know I can take whatever I want”, “I’m not giving you anything” and “We’ll see” if they had plans for them to end up together in the end. (I really would’ve liked to see more of the understanding, gentle and tall stuff that Adam mentions in that one iconic interview lol.) But even with all that (and I’m not saying that this is an excuse for what he did, because it’s still really bad) we gotta keep in mind that Ben has been told what to do and manipulated by snoke aka palpatine. What I think is important is that after Rey and Ben defeat Snoke, Ben offers her his hand. What a lot of people miss here is that he’s not asking her to join the dark side, he’s asking her to create a new order. Rey sees though that this is still coming from a dark place, and refuses. Ben then goes back to the only thing he knows, which is the dark. What really changes him is when Rey stabs him and she force heals him, but his physical healing I believe is also a metaphor for starting to heal what was between them. “I wanted to take your hand, Ben’s hand” here meaning that she doesn’t want to join him if it’s coming from a bad place. He then makes peace with his father (albeit in memory form) and that’s what seals the deal for him. That saber gets yeeted into the water. He’s ready to move on from his toxic past and help Rey. That’s personally why I like his character so much is because he was able to change through true love, understanding and companionship. When Rey dies, he sacrifices himself for her because he knows what he did is terrible and here we see that he really truly does love her. It’s also why I support the “Ben Solo deserved better” movement because he did! I wish we could’ve seen him grow closer with Rey and be able to make other friends too. I wish we could’ve watched him have a happy future and maybe even children and watch him heal from finding the things that make him truly happy. This generation will see a character heal through true love and that is important!!! 

Sorry for the long post, but I just feel like it had to be said!

#star wars

[ttawoabw]

OwlCrate: January ‘Classic Remix’ Box

Okay, so if you don’t know what a book subscription box then;

Where have you been?

Check out my blog post about them HERE. (I really need to update this…)

As some of you might have gathered I am the sort of person that researches upcoming releases and tries to guess which books will be featured before I decide to order a box – or at least I’ve begun doing this and do not intend to stop.  This is a handy little practice that means I can better maintain my funds and spend less on books and book boxes so I can begin paying back the excessive amount I owe my mother.  But I didn’t need to do research to guess which book would be included in the January box, I knew, I had anticipated it since I first heard of it’s eventual existence, and I had a lot of hope for this box – I was a little disappointed with the overall contents of the box, but I’ll get into that throughout the unboxing and in my final thoughts.

As always OwlCrate has lovely Introduction/Information cards in each box that are surprisingly detailed.  I love this one!  And of course the box arrived in perfect condition and the packaging was excellent.

The first thing I saw in the packing worms was this The Little Prince inspired tea by First Edition Tea Co. which I think is cute but as I am not a tea drinker and no one in my household drinks herbal teas I shall be gifting this to a teaholic friend for her upcoming birthday.  It’s mint and rose flavoured and was created exclusively for this OwlCrate box.

The next item hidden in the packing worms was this open book soap by TeaSoapBooks.  The scent is inspired by The Secret Garden and it is scented with white tea and berries.  I don’t typically use bar soaps (they carry a lot of germs and usually leave my skin either dry or with an oily residue) but this soap does smell nice and I’m willing to give it a try.  It was made exclusively for this OwlCrate box but they have heaps of others open book soaps and bath salts inspired by literature so be sure to check them out!

The next thing I pulled out was this double sided bookmark which says ‘Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.‘ which is a quote from Slaughterhouse Five – a book I have not and will not likely read.  But I love this quote and the bookmark, made by the talented Lexy Olivia, is stunning! Again, it was made exclusively for this box and is not available anywhere else – a running theme with this box.

Up next we have something that, though cool and pretty, is completely useless to me.  A desk calendar, designed by Obvious State.  Each month features a unique print with a quote inspired by 12 different classic children’s stories.

January: Peter Pan “Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?“

January: Peter Pan “Would you like and adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” February: Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland “Where childhood’s dreams are twined in memory’s mystic bond.” March: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz “The north and south winds met where the house stood.” April: The Call of the Wind “Old memories were coming upon him fast… stirring the realities of which they were the shadows.” May: Anne of Green Gables “To sleep in a wild cherry-tree all white with bloom in the moonshine.” June: Adventures of Huckleberry Finn “It did seem so good to be free again and all by ourselves on the big river.” July: The Secret Garden “It was the sweetest, most mysterious-looking place any one could imagine.” August: Treasure Island “Hang the treasure! It’s the glory of the sea that has turned my head.” September: The Wind in the Willows “And still, as he looked, he lived; and still, as he lived, he wondered.” October: The Time Machine “Looking at these stars suddenly dwarfed my own troubles and all the gravities of terrestrial life.” November: The Jungle Book “We will leave the lights of the village and go to the low moon.” December: Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea “If one’s destiny is strange, it is also sublime.”

As I said I don’t have any use of a calendar such as this but the prints are lovely so I’ll cut them out and stick the ones I like around my room.

Next up we have this magnet of The Phantom of the Opera designed by Sweet Sequels.  I love The Phantom of the Opera and so does my mum so this magnet now lives on our fridge.

Something to know about OwlCrate is that they don’t typically include promotional stuff but I am so glad they included this promotional mini poster for Wires and Nerve – I love it and I love the series and I can’t wait to read the graphic novel following Iko (I just have to properly read the series…).  This is the kind of promotional stuff I like and enjoy hanging on my door.

Something OwlCrate has included in all their most recent boxes is a collectable pin that matches the introduction card.  I’ve been thinking of putting all my pins on a book bag, but I’m unsure- until I decide I have very little use for the pins but they’re fun to get.

  And this month’s book is….

Roseblood by A.G. Howard.  This is an atmospheric and dark romance set in the tunnels of Paris.  It is a modern-day retelling of The Phantom of the Opera and I am so excited this exists.  The Phantom of the Opera was the first musical I saw live, I was 13 and instantly fell in love with the dark tale.  Back then I didn’t understand the dark themes, it was just beautiful music and costumes.  But in the past 8 years I have come to understand that the Phantom is a tale of obsession and possession and is in fact not a love story.  I love how dark it is and I’m so excited to read this retelling.  I’ve already started a bit and it’s stunning, it’s so descriptive and the writing almost makes the music come alive and take hold of you as it does to Rune.  I’ve also been loving the subtle nods to the original story that only people who have seen the production or movie (or even read the book) would pick up on.  I can see how those who haven’t had a prior introduction to this tale could become confused or not really click with the story but I love it and can’t wait to continue.

In this modern day spin on Leroux’s gothic tale of unrequited love turned to madness, seventeen-year-old Rune Germain has a mysterious affliction linked to her operatic talent, and a horrifying mistake she’s trying to hide. Hoping creative direction will help her, Rune’s mother sends her to a French arts conservatory for her senior year, located in an opera house rumored to have ties to The Phantom of the Opera.

At RoseBlood, Rune secretly befriends the masked Thorn—an elusive violinist who not only guides her musical transformation through dreams that seem more real than reality itself, but somehow knows who she is behind her own masks. As the two discover an otherworldly connection and a soul-deep romance blossoms, Thorn’s dark agenda comes to light and he’s forced to make a deadly choice: lead Rune to her destruction, or face the wrath of the phantom who has haunted the opera house for a century, and is the only father he’s ever known.

Something extremely cool to note about this copy of Roseblood (not sure if it’s just those included in OwlCrate, just hardbacks or for all) is that the text is all red!  I will say that when I come across italics (which is frequent because all French is in italics and they’re in France) the red text does blur a little to me, but I don’t even care.  This is something I’ve never seen before and it fits so well with the story.

And of course a letter from the author to us subscribers is included in each OwlCrate box.  This is one of the things that initially drew me to OwlCrate, I love reading about what inspired the author.  I love reading their passion for their book and I think it’s such a special thing to have – especially when it’s a book that means a lot to you.  A signed bookplate was also included, which is as always awesome.

Dear OwlCrate Reader,

While re-reading The Phantom of the Opera in preparation to write RoseBlood, I was once again struck by the Phantom’s loneliness: being rejected by so many because of his gruesome appearance, something he couldn’t control or change. Any of us can relate to rejection.  In high school, I was too introverted and shy to fit in.  My clothes weren’t cool enough, and neither was my beat-up Datsun.  But there were other classmates dealing with far worse: a girl who’d been in a car accident that left her with brain trauma; a boy who walked alone to school each day in a worn-out jacket, even when storms or snow weighed heavy on his shoulders; kids no one talked to due to rumours surrounding them. I defended that injured girl once when she was teased for being different, and it felt so good to step outside of my own problems and stand up for someone else; even though several classmates shunned me for it.  That shining moment made such a positive impact on my life, that when it came time to build on the Phantom’s story, I wanted to give him a chance to embrace altruism. to step outside of his bitterness and help another human soul.  However, there’s a sacrifice involved, as there was when I stood up for my classmate. I won’t tell you if the Phantom does the benevolent thing and finds peace; you’ll have to read RoseBlood for that answer.  But what I will do is challange you to look for opportunities when you can set aside your own fear of rejection to help another person.  There’s nothing more rewarding than being a friend to someone who feels alone, even if it’s only for one shining moment. Wishing you happy reading and courageous living, A.G. Howard

  Final Thoughts:

Okay, so odviously I loved the book and the related items (the letter and signed bookplate), the Wires and Nerve mini-poster now lives happily on my bedroom door and I do enjoy collecting beautiful bookmarks.  But to be honest I wasn’t that over-joyed with the main three items included in this box.  It isn’t that they’re bad quality or anything like that; they’re just not things I really use.  As I said I’ll give the tea to a friend, test the soap out and use the pictures from the calendar as art but I felt somewhat let down by the contents of the November box as well.  Primarily the inclusion of tea.  I know a lot of people really enjoy getting tea in their book boxes, but I really don’t like that it’s included to the extent that it is.  Also while I think it’s cool that OwlCrate have included something they’ve never included before (the soap but also the calendar) I know there are people who have sensitive skin or are vegan who may not be able to use the product.  Although everything individually is good the combination of them is kind of a let down.  I’m not upset that I got the box, I feel the value of the book with the signed bookplate and author’s letter is equal to the total price of the box (minus shipping) but I have felt somewhat let down by OwlCrate these past two boxes.  I’m thinking of giving OwlCrate a rest for a little while (unless the theme matches a release I’m eagerly anticipating) so maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder? (The break from OwlCrate has nothing to do with feeling disappointed, but more to do with the fact that I owe my mother A LOT of money and I need to start saving for my license and a car…)

Just as I’ve said I’m thinking of giving OwlCrate a break; the theme for February is ‘Run Away With the Circus‘ – if you’re part of the book community you can probably guess what the book included will be and you know that it is a highly anticipated novel for everyone.  And the two sneak peek’s we’ve been given are both from artists or companies that I look forward to receiving products from, so that’s promising.  I think you can still order this box, either as a subscriber or as a single purchase.

  You can order your Owlcrate box HERE for $30 USD (not including shipping). If you want to check out past boxes you can click HERE and HERE.

  My Links:

Goodreads : Becca Winter

Instagram : becca_theory

Twitter : @Becca_Theory

Facebook : The Troubles And Woes Of A Bookworm

Becca

xxx

The opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone.  This post is not sponsored I paid for the box myself.

Book Subscription Box Review: OwlCrate OwlCrate: January 'Classic Remix' Box Okay, so if you don't know what a book subscription box then;

#A.G. Howard #book blog #book blogger #Book Subscription Box #Book Subscription Box Review #Books #fantasy #First Edition Tea Co. #Gaston Leroux #January 2017 #January OwlCrate #Obvious State #owlcrate #OwlCrate 2017 #OwlCrate Book Box #OwlCrate Classic Remix #Owlcrate Review #Owlcrate Unboxing #Retelling #romance #RoseBlood #RoseBlood by A.G. Howard #Subscription Box Review #The Phantom of the Opera #the troubles and woes of a bookworm #thetroublesandwoesofabookworm #ya

[iamheretohelpyougrieveandda-blog]

after orlando and zac efron- a fugue

[written june 2016. thought i posted here but didn't. updating the archive] some raw words after first exposures to the news of the tragedies in orlando. a bit of a fugue- those of you who read my master's paper or saw my integrative seminar will understand a bit more what i mean when i say that. can think of the pieces that follows like a dream- lots of associated significances that could be unpacked, processed, and more clearly articulated later. but hell with it- i'm doing this for me anyway. (for our collective liberation, but my work on that project starts with me). 'after orlando and zac efron- a fugue' man. i'm sitting in my grandmother's house. mama's house. i'm sitting in mama's house. on a bed in the guestroom with a really nice comforter that she won in the christmas white elephant. it has a pattern like the shapes i see in the playa dust when i've taken mushrooms. shapes that are sacred to me. divine, beautiful, frightening. i have been reading, slowly, some of what's on the internet about the shooting in orlando at pulse night club. i spoke with tim about it. i read a couple facebook posts by finn and my cousin, justin, and others. i cried as i read it in a chair in the living room, a yard away from my grandmother, the tv blasting high school musical 2. i feel conflicted about high school musical 2. it's nostalgic for me, the styles, the feelings and ideas of high school, popularity, activities, gender, sexuality. it's evocative. it makes me sad. parts of me confused, scared, LONGING. parts of me in pain. such a candied drama and narrative. so much privilege that i longed for. freedom, joy. also the trappings and challenges of a gendered society, poor communication, poor emotional fluency of parents, frustrations, etc. class issues of money and college and access, though even those 'struggling' in the cast with so much privilege and access. heart feelings around the 'best friend' characters being people of color- a huge step forward from what was on tv when i was growing up. and the main character is still a conventionally 'pretty' white boy. so many confusing feelings. i like him. i like her. i like him because he has her attention and their attention. how do i like him? i want to be with him? i want him? i want to be him? i want to be her? i want to be with her? i'm a confused adolescent. never figured it out. people 'like that' would have been put off by me. i'm too much. i'm not calm and gentle like them. i wasn't calm and gentle. i was intense and urgent and my energy was pretty aggressive and violent in terms of intensity, even in my play and my longing. i was holding so much trauma and fear and terror and wanted connection so bad. didn't even know i was wanting to cry and scream because of how unsafe and confused i felt. learned to stuff it down so good. learned to cement it over. i wanted that fucking privilege. i got a fair amount. but i busted my ass off. i couldn't really enjoy it. i was still peddling so hard to earn what i was getting and to try to keep the flow coming. in such a trauma hole. such a frozen blindness. screaming, but not an organic, real grieving with my voice and body, to be seen and held by the earth and my community. a shut down, disembodied, masked grieving. the screaming was there but it done through the intensity of my shutdown and freeze. it found its way out through sports and the intensity of food. i screamed with the pace at which i devoured and ran and pushed. it supercharged my play, my longings, my attempts to connect. what's zac efron doing? am i that masculine? could i be like him some day? questions i could feel these young, longing parts of me asking today as i watched. a less young part: man if i could have been like that... why couldn't i have been like that? and the fuck. anger and grief at a society that told me that was the only avenue to what i needed. the connection and support i needed to grow and become. reading an article about the shooting, narrating a text exchange by a man in a bathroom at pulse texting his mother while the shooter was in the bathroom also, moments before his death. a scream started to find its way out of me. i'm starting to tear up some right now as i write. i was crying and a scream was starting to find its way awkwardly out. weak, through flattened, weak muscles. like something only half-inflated, not supplied with enough blood. coming out through a crack on the side. i've shut down for so long, so tight, my body doesn't know how to do it. even when i want to or feel like it's best. i know it's in there. but i can't force it. i want the real thing. and i feel awful that i can't find access to it. i've hidden it from myself so well. so well to survive. a stepdad who scoffed at gays. hated them, as far as i was concerned. judged. a mom who tried to get me to convince my stepdad that i was gay as a joke because it would be funny. a gay man dragged to death behind a pickup. tv shows hating on gays. hypermasculine, mysogynistic, heterosexist media, culture. don't you dare be gay. don't be feminine. shove that shit away. people on the screen 'i will beat that shit out of you.' 'you better back off, i'm not gay, i will fucking kill you.' my stepdad rolling his eyes. my parents judging and teasing the 'faggy' neighbor (who is also a bitter, unsavory person- maybe in part because of this shit). so much fear and shutdown i don't even know what i feel about him or her on the tv screen. binary sexism. bi'phobia'. 50 people killed in a nightclub. i used to dance for money in gay clubs. i wanted to meet a beautiful man. and a beautiful woman. i wanted to have it all. i wanted to have gay sex and a sweet girlfriend i could hold and the disney movie pretty picture of nice fashion. he was texting his mom. he was going to die. he was shot. he wanted to have fun. maybe he wanted to meat a pretty boy. someone he could feel vulnerable with and free to expand and feel pleasure and unbound and accelerated with. he died pleading with his mom to call the police. please help. i need help. please help. i didn't know how to say it. i didn't know i needed help. i didn't know what i needed help from. this is terrifying. something is wrong. nobody can see this. nobody knows. the scream started coming out. it creaked and was crackly. i put it into the pillow. i cried silently back on the chair, just a yard from my grandmother. i figured she could easily see me. she might not, but i imagine she'd notice. i figured a good chance she wouldn't say anything as i scrolled through my phone and cried. i figured she might not want to have a conversation about that level of emotion. i figured even if she did, she might not know how to have the conversation i'd set the stage with my honest replies. i did not have enough confidence i'd get what this part of me was wanting, so yielded to the intersubjective inertia of the moment. continuing our family's conditioned legacy of lack of emotional fluency, a rule to not talk about some of the hard stuff, some of the stuff we don't have clear language for, some of the stuff that might be related to bad stuff. leave that locked up. pray. spiritual bypass. we don't talk to mama about that kind of stuff. it's only recently we can talk to our parents about that kind of stuff. so what the fuck do we do with that stuff? what does a child do with that stuff? a man dragged to death behind a pickup for being gay. being gay is a sin. sex is a sin. if you have those thoughts, try not to. pray. ask for forgiveness. go to confession. you are bad, but you can work hard to gain forgiveness. you can work to not have the thoughts and feelings. to that 5-year-old that wanted to do gymnastics but his stepdad and mom wouldn't let him because there were only girls- there's no answer for why these things that aren't supposed to be coming up in your body and mind, these longings, why they're coming up. there's encouragement toward 'masculinity'- hypermasculinity. there's nudging away from femininity. you convinced your aunts to buy you the pink oshkosh when you were 5. they tried to convince you for the blue. you wanted the pink. mom took it away. they're nudging. later stronger nudges. a man dragged behind a truck. dead. bloody. parts of his body scraped away. tease the girly kids. tease the fags. 'mike is a little girly man' my neighbor would tease my dad. girly is bad. my fear of death is more than gender and sexuality-based. i'm brown. i've internalized so much racism. from my white stepdad. from all my parents. from disney channel programs. from school. black people, slavery. native americans- 'indians' killed. blood. blood. pain. blood. screams. burning. lynching. blood. bloodbaths. i can write pages eloquently describing the transgenerational transmission of trauma, the legacies of colonization, decimation, oppression; the institutionalization of attitudes and conventions that keep this trauma ungrieved and the violence and imbalance alive subtly, invisibly, under the skin, under the muscle, in the nerves. blocking my screams. shutting them down. pulling my emotions far far away. years of therapy. a master's degree in feelings and in context and intergenerational trauma. i can see it. i know it's there. i can feel it. i still can't scream. like a weak little newborn. pathetic. arching, extending, clumsy uncoordinated movements. a stretch, a gesture that won't happen. a longing incomplete, unarticulated. like lighting a really poorly made firework where the powder is leaking out so it kinda sputters and stops. not even like that. i could write pages about it. i have. dumb. numb. can't speak. can't feel. off. i started to scream and my hip started to open up. it had been gripping so tight. always so tight, especially noticable the last 5 years. associated with my fear. associated with my existential terror. i ran a training this weekend. so my shame and fear was up big time. it resonates with the parts of me that fear for my life if i'm seen. if my fraudulence is seen. if my unworthiness is seen. if my wrongness is seen. doing it wrong. hurting them. didn't hide my faults enough. don't belong. they'll attack me. i'll lose my job. access to my passion. access to money, to food, to housing. i could write pages breaking this down eloquently, the science of resonance, the organismic terror it reawakens, the reenactment of early trauma imprinting that plays out in the present. i could write pages, nailing it. i have. it helps. it helps bring some contact to that part of me. 'you're not alone,' this knowing part of me tells it. 'i see you. i'm showing other people, too.' it helps. it's making way for the screaming to be heard. not the actual screaming. people are scared of screaming in this culture. they tell you to shut up. they tell you to calm down. get a hold of yourself. focus on other things. you're so sensitive. you make a big deal out of every little thing. yes, because every little thing is a reminder of the big invisible thing, terrifying thing we never addressed because you told me to stuff my scream. black people from trees. black people on fire. people scalped. people shot. a man dragged behind a truck. the fuck. i learned to stuff my scream. and 'every little thing' reawakens the unvocalized scream. i cannot help it. we're not addressing this deeply social, deeply historical, deeply spiritual, deeply human problem, pain, grief, terror, trauma. i've written pages and pages. my professors want me to move toward publication and i will. but i'm still afraid. i'm still stuffing my voice, even when i don't want to. stuffing it before i notice it. my body has learned and does its job, even after the mind that wired it up has moved on and forgotten. like the story of colonization. poka laenui talks about colonization, like the colonization of the hawaiian people. where hula was allowed to happen in schools and in society again, only after colonization had sunk in its fangs and the poisoning and deadening was already complete- the language forgotten, the will to resist squelched, the adoption of western values celebrated and centralized. the colonizers left but the colony is now alive and propagating colonialism on its own. the brain has moved on but the body is already wired to keep doing 'its job.' my body does 'its job.' i still stay silent and away from publishing this radical stuff. i don't reach out to my grandmother as i'm crying with high school musical playing on the television. my body knows 'better' than to scream. and when it starts to come out into the pillow.-just a few clumsy limp sort of ones- my hip opens. feels better than i can remember for a long time in that moment. for a while, my hip opens and can breathe.