And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.
-- John Muir
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You are not "wasting your potential" because you took a break, or because you're exhausted, sick or because you are struggling to find purpose. Please, take some time off, take care of yourself, listen to the needs of your body and your mind. Do the things you want to do to make you happy and fulfilled, not what others think you should, not what's more successful in their minds. You aren't wasting your life, nor wasting your potential. You are still deciding how to live it, what is the purpose of it, and you will find motivation to fight for what you want when you figure yourself out, but please take your time and don't listen to the pressure of people around you to comfort to their expectations of success.
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We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship.
C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
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my ghosts within
In the midst of what seems mundane lies a hidden world
Ghosts surround me, accompanying my every step
The lost, the unmet, the real, the imagined
These translucent entities haunt and console me
Wispy figments shift in and out of awareness
Subdued whispers, their presence felt but never seen
What may seem ordinary masks profound challenges
I push aside my ghosts who yearn to be acknowledged
Fragile mind oscillates betwixt clarity and confusion
A perpetual struggle to live in the present
The universe is littered with daily reminders
of what once was…
of what could have been…
of what I have lost…
of what was never mine…
of what will never be…
Every hushed whisper, every reverberating echo
My ghosts represent these fragments of my narrative
An incomplete history of distortions and illusions
Leaves me feeling incomplete
So, who am I?
What may often be overlooked carries significance to me
Unanswered questions ignite chaos within my mind
I navigate an unsolvable labyrinth of mystery
External investigations cannot unveil these buried truths
Healing lies in reconciling with my ghosts within
Dialogue with them holds the key to my liberation,
Clearing away the misty fog that clouds my perception
By forgiving the past and accepting the unknown,
I can release my ghosts from my internal world
Empowered, I can forge my own narrative,
Finally discovering who I am
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finding yourself isn't really how it works. you aren't a ten dollar bill in last winter's coat pocket. you're also not lost. your true self is right there. buried under cultural conditioning, other people's opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. 'finding yourself' is actually returning to yourself. an unlearning. an excavation, a remembering of who you were before the world got its hands on you
unknown
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" Once upon time u were a little girl with big dreams that u promised you'd make real one day. Don't disappointed yourself. "
When u start taking care of yourself, you start looking better, attract better. It all start with you.
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Il lui fallait maintenant s'enfoncer dans la mer chaude, se perdre pour se retrouver, nager dans la lune et la tiédeur pour que se taise ce qui en lui restait du passé et que naisse le chant profond de son bonheur.
Albert Camus, La Mort heureuse (1971)
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