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#finally making some of the things in my drafts
tuliptic · 3 days
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Let Me Describe Your Aura
Hello, I'm back again. I have this in my drafts for a very, very long time (since last year), and I have finally completed it. This was meant to be a short reading for Instagram, but well, it ended up longer than what I expected. Tho I posted it there, you can still read it here. Honestly speaking, this reading ended up quite different from what I've expected and I don't really know what I was hoping to get from this. Maybe colours? And vibes? No idea. But still, I hope you all enjoy the reading.
As usual, close your eyes, breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.
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Pile 1    -     Pile 2
Pile 3    -     Pile 4
Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.
Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck  (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck.
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Pile 1:
For some reason, it gives me a very Uranus vibe? It’s like you’re a person who’s constantly on board with change as you constantly get involved in almost everything possible. You also give me the feeling that you’re… Not satisfied. You are not satisfied with a lot of things, especially with finances. Imagine the hierarchy of needs. Every time you fulfill one of them, you constantly seek to fulfill the other level.  You’re constantly pushing yourself to achieve better and achieve more, but with this, you’re unable to have some form of balance and may have some conflicts with people you work with. I wouldn’t really say it’s insecurity, but there’s some form of fear and being “not enough” for others that I’m seeing here. Perhaps you come from a big family, and you feel that you have the responsibility to feed everyone and to answer to their needs as well as wants.  There’s an inner child in you that is trying to nurture yourself despite all the rush that you’re putting yourself through, sending you messages so that you can take a break from time to time. You not only receive messages, but you also send them out as well. Some (or perhaps, most) of you may like writing memos or notes for your loved ones.
Tl;dr: Instead of saying aura, I would say that there’s this air of uncertainty that you bring with you. You wouldn’t be called a wildcard, because there’s still some elements of earth in you, aka a sense of stability. But still, many may wonder how to approach you without feeling threatened, I guess. For some of you, you may also have an air of authority, or maybe an RBF, hence the fear towards you too.
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Pile 2:
For some reason, the first thing I’m picking up here is that you like to present yourself as mysterious? However, there is some secrecy involved here that I’m seeing, and you may be good at redirecting conversations or attention to other people. Butterfly effect as well? It’s like you’re fluttering away and not caring about what you’ve done or what are the actions they’ll take.  You have swords and court cards here, and I’m feeling that you’re that person, providing mental insight and stimulation to people around you. Just that there may be some concerns with how you present yourself, how you word yourself, and how people can be easily offended by you. Honestly, I’d say that they’re more offended to you as a person instead of your words or what you do. It’s like… They’re threatened by your presence. Pile 1 makes people feel threatened by their nature, but for you, people are threatened by what you’re capable of bringing - an unwanted change. It’s like seeing you will remind them of what they’re lacking and how much comfort they’ll need to give up, and hence, you may feel like an outcast most of the time, feeling that you do not belong to anywhere.  Still, I’d say, people who are close to you, especially your friends will find comfort in you. You’re a good listener and will be able to provide valuable insights. They’ll be glad that you’re on their team with whatever project you’re working on. If you’re ever interested in working on a collab, do it. You’re meant for it. 
Tl;dr: For you, your aura would be swords-ish, sharp but clear. You know how a sharp and strong sword can be used as a mirror? Yeah that. That’s you, reflecting the fear of others. It’s difficult, but with time, I believe you’ll be able to work along with it.
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Pile 3:
Hmmmm. Harmonious, I’d say. That’s the first word I’m picking up. I kinda have an image of an orange cat sleeping in the sun, probably the warmth, coziness and fuzzy feeling that it gives. You may have heard your friends or people around you describing you as a fun or sunny person, or that you’re like the sun, bringing warmth to people around you. You may also have a lot of passion projects and most of them are incomplete as of current, the same goes with how your life is right now too. Remember to continue whatever efforts you’re putting in. The rewards will come at unexpected times. Another thing I’m picking up is that you like to go along with the flow. Good things happen? Great! Not so nice things happening? Aww sheesh better luck next time. Kinda feeling. Or perhaps, this is what you portray yourself as. I’m getting a weight on my chest eventho there are happy cards. Probably it’s because you put up that mask so that people around you won’t see the pain you’re in.  Vulnerability sounds like a theme that you’ll need to explore, understand, and wield. It sounds difficult and probably painful, but it is needed for you to be able to understand the various facets of life. You’re very perceptive, or perhaps, you have a gift in it. But then, to be able to utilize that skill of yours, you’ll need to expand your knowledge base, experience the various emotions, look into all the tiny things that life has for you. 
Tl;dr: Some may say that you’re a person of culture but you know you’re far from that. Still, people generally like you with how amiable you are, and how you put an effort to make people around you comfortable. However, people will not cross you because you have respect for yourself too. There may be some similarities to Pile 1 with the earthy energy here, so you may check out Pile 1 if you’re drawn to it as well, especially if you have Saturn energy.
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Pile 4: 
A Chinese idiom came to my mind when I see this pile: 与世无争. It means there’s no quarrel or argument with the society, but it generally means a way of avoiding conflict in a passive way. As though you want nothing to do with the current world. Not sure if it’s correct to say that you’re disappointed with the society but there’s some apathy in here, not having much hope with the people you’ve seen. With this, you may have decided to keep yourself closed from the people around you. Not to use strong words, but you may detest the world and build a utopia in your head, imagining a world that is ideal to you and the rules you live with. Majority of the cards here are in reverse, which explains the dejection and dissatisfaction I’m feeling here. I am having problems in describing this pile and it’s making me scratch on my keyboard because of how I’m unable to phrase words. Still, despite all of that, you’re a very capable individual, especially with the King and Queens in your reading. You may have more feminine energy or may present yourself in a more feminine way than others, tho there’s a chance of you rejecting it. People may come to you for help and advice not only because they trust you, but also your words are able to assure them that things will be alright. You have quite a lot of resources on your hands, may it be finances/monetary resources, knowledge, or even network/connections, and you use them according to your needs and values. There may be some… Unconventional skills that you have. I’m not sure what they are, but it’s up to you to figure out how you want to put them to good use.
Tl;dr: This pile is the most difficult pile for me to write as the energy is all around the place yet focused at the same time. It’s very conflicting and confusing, which may be the aura that you exude. There is no clear definition of good or bad in this reading, but more of what you want yourself to be and how you’re going to work on it. 
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Number Neighbors Pt.27
Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader
Natasha Masterlist Series Masterlist
Word Count: 1.2k
Summary:  When you catch sight of the newest trend going around you know you’re all but bound to at least try it, it was harmless anyway. What could possibly stem from something so little?
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Nat’s been more than exhausted these past few weeks as she drafts up argument after argument that she can use against the government to justify why she and her fellow Avengers shouldn't be put on a leash. She knows it’s a long shot and she doesn’t have enough witness accounts or evidence yet but she’s been hearing about the crime rate spike through the rumor mill and she hopes that soon enough she’ll have enough to come back.
She can bring her family back and finally have you. If you’ll still have her after all of this is over. She knows you’d have every right to be mad but she hopes you’ll understand enough to at least let her take you on one date.
The rain pelts outside of her window as it has been for the last three days and she sighs as she lies back on her pull-out bed. If it were under different circumstances she might’ve been able to appreciate the break from the city and the pressure. Maybe she could even come back to these woods with Clint, or Wanda, or…You.
She’s working hard to make sure her family is safe, yes, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t working this hard to also see you again. To finally know what it feels like to hold you, to run her fingers through your hair, and hear you laugh again. The thought of you has been the only thing that’s brought her comfort these past few weeks.
Her computer dings with an email and she shoots up immediately, grabbing the shiny object from the side table next to her and pulling it onto her lap. She wasn’t expecting any emails while she was out here and her mind jumped to the worst-case scenario: they’d found her location.
The email is from an unknown sender which only makes her more uneasy and she’s more frustrated than anything that she’ll have to find a new place to hide when she recognizes the encrypted link hidden in the email's coding.
It was a website Clint had created just for the two of them to communicate in case there was ever a situation similar to this. She’s afraid to admit just how comforting it was to hear from someone close to her after weeks of no contact. She quickly opens the website and reads the messages.
Clint-
Hey Natty, hope you’re having fun wherever you’ve parked that trailer of yours, Tony’s been a real pain in the butt but we’re trying to negotiate some better terms with some government officials. I know you’re probably working on a solution of your own but I’ve got to at least pretend like I contribute to this group-
She snorts at the self-jab, knowing her fellow Avenger couldn’t care less about the insults people say about him being the least skilled Avenger. She always admired that about him.
Clint-
Anyway, your phone’s been blowing up. I think Tony is getting suspicious so I took it and hid it in my room. I think you’re gonna be in deep shit with your girlfriend when you get back haha. 
I attached the voicemails you’ve been getting, I didn’t listen to them but I saw who they were from. Thought they might be important.  
Nat’s heart pounded as she stared at the attached files, there were at least 30 voicemails from you varying in different lengths and part of her was scared to open them. There was no doubt a few of them were just you yelling at her but even then she’d missed the sound of your voice so much that she’d take your irritation over anything else.
She hesitates over the first voicemail with her cursor but clicks it before she can sike herself out. There’s a little bit of silence and she wonders if you’re going to talk before she hears a small sniffle and her heart breaks. She swore to herself she’d never make you cry and now she’d failed, the sound of your quiet crying echoing throughout her trailer only amplifying her defeat.
It's another thirty seconds before your voice finally breaks through. It’s rough and raw and she can tell you’d probably been crying for a while.
“Nat? Where did you go? Why’d you leave? Listen- we don’t have to meet if you don’t want to. We can keep texting forever just don’t ghost me like this. Please.” It’s short and by how broken your last word sounded she can tell you were probably thrown into another fit of sobs after you ended the message. 
Nat doesn’t know what to do with herself, her body feels frozen and her heart won’t stop sinking further into her stomach. She’s never heard you sound so unsure of yourself before and it tears her apart that she’s the one who made you that way. It takes her a few minutes to muster up the courage to click on another one.
“What kind of person just says ‘I’m sorry?’ I deserve a better explanation than that! You couldn’t have at least lied to me about going to save baby animals in Africa where there’s no cell service? At least then when you stopped responding I could’ve felt better!” She’s not surprised that you’re mad at her, you deserve to be, but it doesn’t stop the guilt from gnawing at her chest when she hears how irked you are.
The next few are similar in the fact that they’re either angry or spoken through tears but they slowly begin transitioning into something else. Eventually, you stop talking about her leaving and start talking about yourself. What you did that day, what you’re making for dinner, the cat you’ve been visiting at the cat cafe. There’s still a hint of sadness in your tone but she can tell the calls are a form of therapy for you. A way for Nat to be there when she’s not really there.
She wants to be there. She wants to be the one you’re talking about your day with, wants to cook you dinner while you sit on the counter and visit the cat cafe with you. It hurts that she can’t do that and as she’s listening she feels her eyes burn with tears. She refuses to let them fall. She’s not the one who gets to cry in this scenario and yet her eyes refuse to give up their unshed tears.
There’s one last voicemail from a day ago and she clicks on it expecting it to be like the others but much to her surprise you’re talking about her again.
“I think I’m mad because I can’t even bring myself to hate you for it. I know you’ve probably got some shit going on. I understand that, trust me. But- I don't know you could’ve… maybe it’s too much of me to ask you to fill me in on the situation- or let me know when you’d be back… Is this goodbye?” 
 Your static voice rings out into the silence and Nat hates how you sound. Reserved- almost accepting. Like you’ve convinced yourself she’s never going to respond again and she hates it. She hates that she made you so insecure that you think she isn't spending every hour thinking of you and how to get back to you. 
The sound of your voice fills her with even more determination as she begins redrafting her court argument. She was going to come back to you, you just had to wait for her a little longer.
Pt.28
A/n: Aww Nat :( ~ Starry
---Taglist--
@marvelwomen-simp @cd-4848 @wandanatlov3r @rebeltombraider @ctrlamira @fxckmiup @aliherreraaa @natsxwife @la-douler-ne-finite-jamais @romanoffsgal @moistblobfish @natashaswife4125 @elenimoris @how-to-disappearrr @screechcat @toouncreativeforausername @ordelixx @autorasexy @blacklightsposts @vmpnano @jono723 @sylencr @saraaahsstuff @autorasexy @gay4hotmilfs @tofu9162 @dyslexic-dreamer @graniairish @colettehope @kosmichs1 @nmhlver @natblidaclexa @skittlebum @dorabledewdroop @nothanksbye07 @mrsrushman @midastouch013 @thalia-is-not-ok @tessalah @annab3113 @officialnighttime
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Hi Sarah! First, thank you for always welcoming and opening up interesting conversations. I love that about this little corner of the internet so much! I guess what I want to contribute is that I can kind of see what that anon said as being someone’s knee-jerk reaction. But we have to remember, everything is speculation right now. Is TTPD a breakup album? It seems likely. But we don’t know if it’s to “trash” Joe. It could very much be talking about how they both made mistakes. (Cont…)
(Cont…) YLM is probably our first glimpse into things and I wouldn’t say it is trashing Joe by any means. Taylor is just sharing how she felt and HER side, which is what she’s always done. So that shouldn’t seem shocking? What does bother me though, is that it seems like it is more of the fandom that starts to trash Taylor’s exes more than Taylor does. The fandom acts like Taylor was being held hostage in a relationship when she was not. She made her own choices. (2) (Cont…) I have shared before about how I was surprised how quickly people turned on Joe. He was very important to Taylor for a time. 2016 drama, reputation, Taylor needing her quiet, etc…but obviously it broke down somewhere along the way. And that is what we are probably going to get more insight on? But the relationship wasn’t all terrible like some of the fandom is assuming. And I don’t think it’s fair to Tay to assume she is going to trash Joe when we DON’T KNOW yet. (3)
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Hi friend! Tysm for this response and for choosing to be in this lil space and contributing to i so thoughtfully. I am no stranger to the knee-jerk reaction - I had a very unkind one typed out in response when that message was sitting in my drafts and let it stew for a long time like that until I finally felt like I could come at it with more space and the hopes of entertaining more open and beautiful conversations like this one! So again ty x2 for proving that intuition right that it was something that could indeed be turned around just based on one's approach and response.
It's been an interesting, very slight, change in tone and perception over the years of the Weaponized Songwriter. It's this strange view that her art exists as a means to bring Bad Men to their knees and not primarily as a method to process her own life experiences and to make sense of how others have made her feel. It isn't X did Y so they should Z. It's X happened to me and it made me A, B, C. She is the main character of her own cinematic universe! It isn't about 'trashing' it's just about experiences and the unvarnished version of her truth about what that experience was.
Somehow - if it makes sense - I find myself equally bothered both by the trashing and the defence of the muses. Imo, they are tangential to the story and I just am not invested in what happens to them when they're written out of it. And I don't care to putting my energy into vilifying or protecting them when my investment is in the writer and her story.
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doodleodds · 1 year
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Me? Uploading a Halloween comic on November 18th, almost four whole-ass weeks late???? Yeah that’s uh. yup. yeah
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Thanks for reading! :) <3
#persona 5#p5#akira kurusu#OUGH OH MY GOD ITS FINALLY. DONE. I AM LOSING MY MIND#if you've been following me for long enough: yes! this IS in fact the comic i mentioned that i was making last year.#Fun fact! This is also! The Third Draft of said comic!!! i have redrawn this thing THREE FUCKING TIMES#as a result you may notice that i uh. a) gave up on coloring this thing. no way in HELL am i coloring 30 pages. im not...strong enough#you will settle for simply having monochrome colored panels and you will LIKE IT!!!!! >:OOOOO#and b) gave up on backgrounds! yeah fuck that lmao. i am never drawing people in the monabus again and mementos can kiss my ass!!!!!#i just want to draw my silly little characters & not their environments#and you may also say: sophia. by halloween they are already in Sae's palace. why isn't goro with them and where's haru?#and to that i say shhhh suspend your disbelief. akechi is in mementos carving pumpkins to avoid trick or treaters.#and also haru isn't there because i cannot draw 6+ people in a cramped space yet!!! my art skills are Just Not There Quite Yet :(#so she's staying home and handing out fullsized candy bars to kids. that's where she is while this is all going down#'does akira know it's akechi down there?' :) that's up to you! but i WILL say that I was thinking about Akeshu when i wrote this so. :))))#ANYWAY if you read this far in the tags im so sorry lmao. thanks for sticking around! Hope you had a happy halloween :)#hopefully i won't disappear for long this time. idk im just gonna start uploading other bullshit art in the interim between comics i guess#probably some fire emblem shit. we'll see. we'll see. anyway bye!! till next time!
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hephaestuscrew · 8 months
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I do think there's something special about the way that audio drama creators seem to love including cameos of voice actors from other popular audio dramas. Obviously, part of the reason why actors from one show might pop up in another is because the audio drama creator community is relatively small and interconnected, and also because those actors are very talented.
But there's also often such a sense that creators are having fun with these cameos. Like Greater Boston casting audio drama heavyweights Briggon Snow, Zach Valenti, and Felix Trench as famous film actors Matt Daemon, Ben Affleck, and Mark Wahlberg respectively. Or Faux and Stallion having Tom Crowley (who plays a Victorian detective in Victoriocity) pop up as Dr Watson. Or Unseen casting Beth Eyre and Felix Trench as characters who are twins. Or Arden getting Emma Sherr-Ziarko to play an actor impersonating a character played by her former Wolf 359 costar Michelle Agresti (with Michaela Swee also appearing as an actor impersonating the other main Arden lead).
In these cases, it's not just that there's a cameo, but that the cameo is given particular (often comedic) significance to those who are aware of the featured actor's other work. The vast majority of people wouldn't recognise any of these voices. But by doing these very intentional cameos, these creators show confidence that a fair chunk of their audience will know these actors and enjoy the link. There's an awareness that listeners of one audio drama are fairly likely to listen to (or at least be aware of) other fiction podcasts, even when the shows in question aren't of particularly similar genres. Recognising these cameos feels like being in on a secret. It feels like these shows are giving a little nod to listeners to say that we're part of the same club.
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transphilza · 1 year
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i have decided that my interpretation of c!wilbur’s ominous foreshadowing after the “Bust” stream is that he was suicidal and increasingly planning on committing suicide as his character heavily alludes to (because i believe that negating the suicidal overtones of cwilbur during this portion of his story by saying that he was always only ever planning on going back to utah: # 1 just lessens the impact of everything that happens in this arc, because he wouldve already decided to live thus making all those conversations and apologies forcing him to confront the realities of his own life and death wayyy less meaningful, but most importantly # 2 makes it impossible to provide adequate closure for his character’s deepest struggles because they wouldve never been re-addressed) — BUT that when he finally decided to go through with sending friend to ghostbur thus making the evident conclusion that ghostbur did not deserve to suffer eternally (and by extension and implication, himself, too) he changes his mind and chooses Life :) aka Utah <3
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napping-sapphic · 3 months
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I’m not cut out for even slightly more intense health issues than my usual stuff yall so here’s my will for when i die of feel too bad disorder: i’d like to dedicate my few life achievements to all the sapphics out there and also they can have all my stuff i guess
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amethystina · 1 year
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The Devil Judge Meta: The Bus Scene
Hello and welcome to the chaos.
So, ever since I first saw this drama, I've been OBSESSED with the bus scene for how beautifully it establishes a lot of core traits for both Yo Han and Ga On's personalities. It is, quite simply, a masterpiece. And so, since I've got nothing better to do (*cough, cough*) here's a rambling meta where I scream about it, simply because I can and want to.
Disclaimer: This is by no means a COMPLETE meta of this scene. I will only be focusing on the characters and not, say, the cinematography. And even then I won't include every single detail. I mostly want to gush about how wonderfully this scene takes on the challenge of showing two characters' different personalities through their actions and reactions alone. Don't come at me if I don't talk about everything that makes this scene cool. Also, obviously, these observations are just my opinions and I don't expect everyone to agree. I'm just having fun yelling about characters I like.
Second Disclaimer: I was left unsupervised with Photoshop while having a fever. I take no responsibility for the resulting screenshots.
More under the cut!
And brace yourselves — it's hella long.
Let's just jump right into the action! (mainly because the build-up isn't all that interesting)
The moment the situation becomes clear to Ga On — i.e. that the little girl is in terrible danger — this is his immediate reaction:
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Good boy.
I mean, at this point, it's not even a particularly risky decision. The bus is still pretty far away so he should have enough time to grab the girl and run out of there. No biggie. And, clearly, the soldiers aren't going to be doing anything to help her, so it's understandable that Ga On takes it upon himself to do so. SOMEONE has to.
And this is a very good example of Ga On's problem-solving in action. His main priority is saving the victims and his method of choice — run over and grab the girl himself — may be simple, but also very straightforward and effective. It gives an immediate and tangible result. It's a bit impulsive, sure, since he's potentially putting himself in danger, but it also shows his selflessness and sincerity. He doesn't even HESITATE before he starts running since Ga On's problem-solving is very instinctual.
He's a man of action who doesn't waste time on second guesses, doubts, or plans. He sees a situation and intervenes with the method that occurs to him at the time.
So he's a quick thinker, definitely, but he also doesn't have much of a strategy outside of "save the girl." The scope of his solution is narrow, focusing more on rescuing the one in immediate danger rather than defusing the situation. That doesn't mean he's BAD at solving problems — he's actually very clever and reacts and adapts impressively fast — just that he's got a very specific goal in mind and the solution he chooses is usually decided by that goal.
In a tight spot, Ga On's main focus is pretty much always to rescue the victims (or innocents, if you prefer) rather than neutralising or stopping the threat. He is, first and foremost, a protector and saviour.
Which is very noble and heroic. We love that for him.
And Ga On's day would probably have gone a lot better if life hadn't decided to throw a Yo Han-shaped wrench into his reckless but well-meaning plans. Because, WOW, do their respective problem-solving tactics clash.
Case in point:
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This shot (aside from being very pretty) is a SPECTACULAR glimpse into Yo Han's mindset and POV. The focus is on the bus — the threat — but we can also clearly tell that, should Ga On try to rise, he and the girl might end up getting shot. There are innocents in between Yo Han and his target — innocents who might get hurt should Yo Han proceed with his planned actions.
And Yo Han still fires.
Which is why I totally don't blame Ga On for making this face:
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Like, Ga On later criticises Yo Han for being willing to risk the bus driver's life, but let's not forget that Yo Han was also willing to send a bullet flying over Ga On's head without hesitation. Just as Ga On was about to straighten, no less. That's risky as all hell.
And that brings us to Yo Han's problem-solving.
Unlike Ga On, Yo Han focuses on stopping the bus rather than protecting the victims — he even puts them in MORE danger by firing the gun with them in the crossfire. Which may seem even more reckless than Ga On's method at first glance, if it wasn't for this:
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Yo Han is perfectly calm.
Despite the pressure of the situation, he handles it with a cold, almost detached, precision. A precision that probably comes from the fact that he's already assessed how the situation will unfold and how he has to act in order to change its course. As he points out later, the bus would have kept going forward if it hadn't been stopped and, even if Ga On and the girl had managed to run away, there's a potential for countless more victims — soldiers, bystanders, and other employees at the Supreme Court. In neutralising the threat, he saves more lives.
In a sense, this can also be seen as punishing the instigator, as opposed to Ga On's choice of protecting innocents. As Yo Han later admits, he's willing to sacrifice one life to save many — especially when that someone is a bad person.
While Yo Han's actions are undoubtedly ruthless, he also has a wider scope of the situation than Ga On, to the point where they don't even view it the same. To Ga On, the girl getting run over is the problem that needs to be solved. In contrast, to Yo Han, the problem that should be solved is the speeding bus, which, if not stopped, will result in the girl getting run over.
This is why, instead of allowing Ga On and the girl time to run away, Yo Han doesn't lower the gun.
He's there to solve a problem and the speeding bus is the problem, not Ga On or the girl's possible fate. And with such a different core grasp of the situation, it's no wonder their respective solutions clash.
They're trying to solve two completely different problems.
Complete Sidetrack: I've seen some people criticise the realism of this scene because Ga On doesn't try to take the girl and run despite having many chances to do so, but I would argue that the biggest flaw in the realism is the preschool teacher. You're telling me that woman WOULDN'T turn back and try to save that child herself? Has the writer of this show even MET a preschool teacher? That girl is her responsibility! She wouldn't just leave her!
And sure, the woman has other children to take care of, but they're safely across the road already. She can order them to stay put and then run back. I think the only logical reason why she wouldn't is if someone is physically restraining her.
… or if the creators simply wanted a cool scene (that I admit to loving) and didn't really care if they misrepresented this poor woman. Justice for the preschool teacher!
ANYWAY. I DIGRESS.
I LOVE Ga On's face when he realises what just happened and that Yo Han is far from finished.
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Because Yo Han more or less holds Ga On and the little girl hostage. Which says quite a lot about his ruthlessness AND his confidence. Yo Han is clearly convinced that his method is the right one — that his aim is good enough to take the risk — and doesn't even give Ga On the option to protest. He literally holds Ga On at gunpoint and forces him to abandon his solution of grabbing the girl and running in favour of Yo Han's plan of stopping the bus. Basically, if Ga On wants to come out of this alive, he'll have to bend to Yo Han's will.
Foreshadowing much?
Like, short of trying to ROLL out of the line of fire, there's not much Ga On can do if he wants to avoid getting himself or the girl shot. He has NO idea when Yo Han might pull the trigger again or exactly where he is aiming.
And, well, as we see here, Ga On is clearly making the right choice by staying put. YIKES, Yo Han.
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And this highlights another aspect of Yo Han, which is his arrogance.
We've established that stopping the bus will most likely result in saving more lives, but there was nothing wrong with Ga On's initial response to the situation. Ga On and the girl would have been completely fine if Yo Han hadn't shown up when he did — or had simply chosen to wait a couple of seconds longer before firing the first shot.
Except Yo Han is so certain of his own abilities that he completely ignores what everyone else might be trying to do to solve the situation, to the point where he doesn't even care if he RUINS those efforts. He's already convinced his plan is better. So he essentially steps in and wrenches control away from everyone else — including Ga On — and the consequences could have been catastrophic, especially since he doesn't communicate with the others involved.
And if that isn’t Yo Han in a nutshell, I don't know what is.
Yo Han has no faith in anyone's plans but his own and will pursue them with a single-mindedness that's both alarming and kind of impressive.
If you want something done, do it yourself, I guess?
In some ways, Yo Han even CREATED this situation, with Ga On and the girl remaining in the bus's path. He could easily have let them run off first, but didn’t because he's so convinced he's doing what's best.
Then again, I guess we wouldn't have this shot if he had:
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I appreciate your dedication to being a protector, Ga On, but I don't think that's going to make much of a difference.
And this thing, where Yo Han's arrogance and actions are the direct cause for the complications they face, repeats a couple of times in the drama. Sometimes it's because he's stirred up so much shit that people get desperate and, a couple of times, it's because he's underestimated his opponents. And, sometimes, it even seems like it's just out of sheer curiosity, because he wants to see what will happen.
Like how he gets kidnapped and drugged by Sun Ah because he went off the meet her alone in a goddamn shipyard, or how he underestimated what Cha Kyung Hee would do if he pushed her into a corner, and how Sun Ah would never have tried to have Ga On beaten up in the slums if Yo Han hadn't paraded him around like his lovely little househusband, making it blatantly obvious how much he cares about him (which, I will admit, it another favourite scene of mine).
While Yo Han is definitely a good problem solver, he also CAUSES a lot of problems, both for himself and others. The part that I like about that, however — and what sets him apart from a lot of other characters in media — is that he's AWARE of the risks. He's not foolishly making reckless decisions that put him in danger (unlike someone else we know) but simply deems the risks to be worth the endgame. The risks Yo Han takes are calculated and, for better or worse, he's frighteningly good at maths.
But that only makes him seem more ruthless. Since no one else can see his calculations, it can be difficult to follow his logic, even more so since his values and morals are what they are (that's to say: OPTIONAL).
All of that said, while Yo Han is arrogant and very determined to be the one in control, he doesn't do it to show off or brag. He's used to being if not the smartest person in the room, then at least the most efficient one. He, too, is a man of action who will get things done smoothly and efficiently, no matter the cost.
And I do love this moment right here, just after the bus has only narrowly missed Ga On and the girl:
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They could have made him look smug — or even pleased — but they didn't. He remains calm and focused because, again, it's not about the glory. Just like his revenge plan, it's all about the mission — the result. He does what he has to in order to reach his goal, simple as that.
While Yo Han definitely carries a lot of intense emotions (some that he should probably talk to a therapist about) he is also incredibly goal-oriented, to the point where he doesn't let his emotions sway his decisions very often. More often than not, if Yo Han does something, it's because he has a plan — a goal or something he wants to accomplish. And he will pursue that goal without hesitation.
But that also means he doesn't really care about who he has to step over in order to get there — including victims and innocents.
Meanwhile, Ga On:
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Showing care and concern in a situation like this is pretty natural, I'd say, especially for someone as compassionate as Ga On. OF COURSE he would take the time to make sure the little girl is okay!
Ga On is such a good boy <3
And here's another difference between Yo Han and Ga On, since Yo Han makes no such effort. Which I wouldn't necessarily say means that Yo Han doesn't care, but rather that he doesn't bother to ask for verbal confirmation of something he can clearly see with his own eyes. They weren't hit by the bus so they should be fine. Nevermind possible shock or trauma — that’s definitely not Yo Han’s problem.
The difference IS pretty unsettling, anyway, and we get this shot (which I love):
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It's not even particularly long, but the fact that they lock eyes after such a traumatic event and THAT is the face Yo Han makes is… yeah. Say what you will about Ga On and his habit of jumping to conclusions, but I can't really blame him for wondering if Yo Han is a psychopath.
And that's another beauty of this entire scene, since not only does it tell us, the viewers, about these characters, but it also serves as a moment for Ga On to realise what kind of man his new boss actually is. That's to say, someone who doesn't hesitate to shoot despite innocents being in the way, but also chastises the soldiers for not having the guts to do it themselves.
Also, I know I said I wouldn't focus on cinematography, but I just want to point out how beautiful these two shots are:
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With Ga On and the girl — the victims, for all intents and purposes — framed by the soldier and Yo Han, which soon shifts into this:
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With Yo Han moving to COMPLETELY cover them. It's not only gorgeous from a visual and storytelling perspective, but you can also have a field day analysing what that might mean from a character and symbolic perspective.
But that's another meta, I guess.
Back to the wide-eyed deer Ga On.
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For someone as caring as Ga On, Yo Han's behaviour — and lack of compassion — is clearly quite upsetting. For which I honestly can't blame him. A lot of Yo Han's actions up until this point can be explained away as a superior trying to take action and protect his employees, but Yo Han chastising the soldiers for not firing sooner? Yeah, not so much. That is COLD, especially coming from a man who’s in a position of power over practically everyone else at the scene.
Because that's also something to remember: Yo Han doesn't just have power because he forcibly takes command, he also has a lot of authority due to his position.
A position he doesn't hesitate to abuse at points.
And, if we try to view this from Ga On's perspective, that shit is not only upsetting but downright TERRIFYING. Who wants to work for a cold and heartless dictator?
Anyway, back to Ga On being A Good Boy™.
His protective instincts are once again brought back into focus as he rushes to save the bus driver. Like with the girl, he doesn't hesitate, even if he is, once again, putting himself in danger. Saving people is instinctual to him and it doesn't matter who they are — Ga On values lives equally.
… well, until they hurt someone he cares about — then he's Down To Murder.
But that, too, is another meta entirely.
Anyway, Ga On's protectiveness is clearly one of the cornerstones of his character. Not only is he very heroic (though he'd certainly never use that word), but he's also a good caretaker and a very compassionate human being in general.
Meanwhile, Mr. Abyss over here:
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Yo Han makes no effort to help Ga On, neither personally nor by sending soldiers to aid him. And while that only serves to make Yo Han seem even more cold and unconcerned, it also makes complete sense considering what we established earlier. Because sending the soldiers to help would only put them at risk as well, should the bus explode before everyone can make it clear. Again, Yo Han chooses the option that will cause less damage and put fewer people at risk (hilariously), even if that means he's willing to forsake the lives currently in danger.
It's simple arithmetic, just like with the driver.
And, well, since he DOESN'T move, we also get this glorious shot:
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Everyone else ducks down or gets thrown off their feet, meanwhile, Yo Han just raises a hand to shield his face — as if a wholeass bus exploding is just a mild inconvenience to him.
10/10, Very Impressive. Very Extra.
HOWEVER, after this comes a brief but very fascinating moment, when the fire is roaming and Yo Han's gaze (presumably) lands on Ga On.
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During a couple of seconds, Yo Han seems to zone out, just blankly staring. It's the most unfocused he's been during this entire scene and I don't think it's a coincidence that the moment involves fire and Ga On (i.e. Isaac 2.0 – Sugar Baby Edition).
This is a moment that probably won't stand out all that much during a first watch, but holds a lot more meaning once you know Yo Han's backstory. It's an interesting glimpse into something like humanity — and weakness — from Yo Han. And I'm pretty sure it's intentional that most people are too panicked and/or disoriented to notice. While Ga On learns a lot about Yo Han in this scene, this moment — this particular thread, with Yo Han's trauma — is still too early to pull on. It's not until later that Ga On begins to see Yo Han's humanity.
This moment is for US, the viewers, more so than the other characters.
Anyway, in true Yo Han fashion, he's soon back to his regularly scheduled shenanigans.
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He still makes no effort to help Ga On or the bus driver, instead settling for a little tilt of his head that could be disapproval, could be approval, or just acceptance of how the last couple of minutes played out. They were, after all, minutes during which Yo Han made no attempt to wrestle control from Ga On, letting him attempt to save the bus driver without intervention. I wouldn't call it an outright test, but it's definitely a moment during which Yo Han waited and watched rather keenly.
Because, naturally, Yo Han is learning about Ga On, too, just like Ga On is learning about him. They're two very observant people and each action and reaction helps them start outlining the other's personality. Yo Han, in particular, has a good reason for cataloguing Ga On's behaviour and reactions, since it'll help him gauge if Ga On will be a hindrance or an asset to his revenge scheme.
And while I don't think that Yo Han is particularly impressed by what Ga On did — it was impulsive and reckless, and Yo Han clearly doesn't care much for heroics — it DID give results. And Yo Han is all about the results. If nothing else, he learned that Ga On is both stubborn and compassionate.
The latter isn't very useful to Yo Han, but the former certainly is. And I have no doubt that he's filing that information away for later.
And, hilariously, this is the point where Yo Han does ANOTHER very Yo Han thing:
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Despite being the man with the highest authority at the scene — i.e. the one who should arguably step in, take command, and deal with the aftermath — Yo Han simply turns around and leaves. Once the threat has been handled, he sees no point in staying since his purpose was never to protect or help the people involved — it was to solve a problem.
And since the bus has now been stopped, the problem is solved.
The fact that he also made it explode is clearly not his problem.
He doesn't care about the fallout, even when he's the direct cause. This returns time and time again, where Yo Han is fully prepared to stir shit up, but rarely stays long enough to deal with the consequences. Most notably in the last episode, when he dumps the burn crisp of a judicial system in Ga On's lap and tells him to fix what he broke.
Which is HILARIOUS.
But, honestly, also very reasonable. Say what you will about Yo Han (and I do — very often) but he's a man who knows himself, his strengths, and his abilities incredibly well. And he holds no illusions about being a nurturing person. His strength lies in analysing situations, solving problems, and, for lack of a better term, Fuck Shit Up. He's the wrecking ball — the unstoppable force of nature — not one of the helpers who come after to build it all back up again, better and shinier.
That kind of job is definitely better suited for Ga On, who's kind, compassionate, and driven.
So while it is very irresponsible for the man in charge to just leave in a situation like this, it probably makes sense to Yo Han. Why waste time on something he has no interest in and, in some ways, isn't even particularly good at?
(also, it makes him look WAY cooler if he walks away with that fire burning in the background, I guess, which might also be a factor)
Unsurprisingly, it makes less sense to Ga On who, the moment he starts regaining his bearing, looks up and tries to find Yo Han.
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And while I AM tempted to make a joke about always looking for your crush first after a dangerous situation, we all know it’s way too early for that here. No, Ga On looks up partly to see if anyone else has gotten hurt but, also, to look for guidance. It IS Yo Han's responsibility to handle this situation and Ga On is well within his right to expect that of his boss.
Except Yo Han isn't there.
Boss of the Year, this one.
And not only does that convey to Ga On that Yo Han is unpredictable, but also, to some extent, UNRELIABLE. Someone cold and uncaring — someone not to be trusted to uphold his end of the bargain. Someone who causes a lot of damage, but will leave it to others to mend the wounds.
And, clearly, Ga On is VERY disappointed.
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In short, Yo Han doesn't really make a good first OR second impression on Ga On. Though I would argue that Yo Han couldn't care less about that, which probably only makes Ga On MORE frustrated, since he's clearly more of a traditionalist, who believes in being polite, accommodating, and taking responsibility. And while Yo Han has no trouble taking responsibility in certain regards — like admitting that he was willing to kill the bus driver if he had to — it's not in the considerate, altruistic way that Ga On no doubt would prefer to see in a superior.
Yo Han doesn't give a flying fuck about propriety and politeness, and when he's being a good boss or kind to strangers, it's usually performative.
Which, again, is why I don't blame Ga On for wondering just what kind of person Yo Han is. Even just in this one scene, Yo Han doesn't exactly come across as very sympathetic. Cool, efficient, and ruthless as fuck, sure, but definitely not the kind of guy you want to be working with. Which is only made all the more obvious when it's put next to Ga On's somewhat reckless but ultimately well-meaning and selfless acts of compassion.
I wouldn't go so far as to say that they're each other's opposites, but this scene goes a long way to show the differences in Ga On and Yo Han's personalities, mindsets, and values. And it doesn't necessarily take sides or try to tell you which is better, just that they're different. Both have pros and cons.
Ga On is kind, caring, and will do whatever it takes to protect innocents, but that also makes him reckless and unpredictable.
Yo Han is calm, efficient, and always has a carefully calculated plan, but that also makes him cold and ruthless.
All of this from one single scene.
They learn so much about each other — and we about them — in this one scene that you don't really need much more to understand just how violently these two opposing forces are going clash as the drama progresses. This scene is MARVELLOUS.
Even more so since they don't speak a WORD to each other.
They talk to side characters, but not each other and still, SOMEHOW, this one scene contains so much information — so much TENSION — that you can cut it with a knife. This, even more so than their first meeting, is where the foundation for their relationship is laid and they manage to do it entirely through actions and reactions.
These two will be the death of me, I swear.
In conclusion: FUCK YES I LOVE THIS DRAMA.
You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.
End of meta.
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sorceresslodge · 1 month
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House Maevret and Ithlinne Backstory
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House Maevret is barely considered a noble house at all, most nobles consider them only a few rungs above laborers, and yet they have carved out a niche for themselves that has made them powerful in their own way. The Maevrets have cultivated as much arcane knowledge as any other house, and their abjuration magic is second to none. The noblewomen spend their days weaving cloth enchanted with their protection magic, and their robes are sometimes exchanged for gold but they primarily trade in favor.
Ithlinne was born to Shiadhal Maevret, a particularly powerful sorcerer who couldn't have been more disappointed in her first daughter. After mothering two sons, both who turned out to be talented despite their sex, she had high hopes for her youngest... hopes that were dashed when Ithlinne revealed that she had none of her family's natural inclination for magic.
By age ten, she had been put aside by her mother; Ithlinne wasn't a sorcerer, nor was she strong, quick, or particularly clever, she was devout in her rituals but Lolth showed her no particular favor. Truly there was nothing her mother hoped for more than a second, more promising daughter. Ithlinne took to hiding in the compound's library, studying history and anatomy, which was when she learned the interesting history of her father's house, House Freth.
Many years ago, House Freth had been destroyed, and returned only through striking strange deals with the Cult of the Dragon, a society dedicated to serving undead dragon masters. This was the first time Ithlinne learned of the concept of a lich, an idea that would fascinate her for many years to come.
Having learnt this history, she began doing the strangest thing, seeking out and speaking to her father. Ithlinne's father was one of the three sons of the matron Erelal Freth, and a wizard of middling skill, he began to teach his daughter his manner of channeling the weave. And so at sixteen, she began to learn a form of magic.
To say that she excelled with this new teaching would be an overstatement, Ithlinne was a slow learner and always would be, but when she had a true passion for something she would put her entire focus on it, wearing it down like a wave against a cliff. She learned basic conjuration, some evocation... and finally convinced her father to teach her the simplest necromancy he knew.
As she grew older, her true passions remained with the concept of undeath, but Ithlinne had a role to fulfill, and eventually knew enough through study to replicate the complex glyphs her mother could weave with her eyes shut since she was a child. She also took over leading their chapel in service to Lolth, which both pleased her mother and herself.
After all, there were no rules on what must happen to the bodies once they had been killed in Lolth's name. No one else seemed to notice if a few went missing to further her studies in the passing of the soul and reanimation of the flesh.
A few decades passed like that, as calm as Menzoberranzan could be. Until her mother gave birth to another daughter. Nimue was everything Ithlinne wasn't, a perfect magical prodigy to further the line, with a sparkling personality and an easy air to her that Ithlinne had never had.
It was in Ithlinne's ninetieth year, and Nimue's fifth that her mother started trying to kill her.
The assassins caught her in the bath, her mother had clearly told them what she knew of her schedule and abilities, and they had come well-prepared. One had stabbed her between the shoulders with a poisoned blade before she could react, striking the other with lightning.
She wanted to master the ability to animate dead before informing anyone, the last thing she wanted was another failing for her mother to add to her list. This secret was probably the only thing that saved her. Having killed the first assassin, she was able to raise him as a zombie and set him on the second who did not expect it at all, keeping them away from her as she took the antidote that she always kept in a locket around her neck.
With the assassins dealt with, Ithlinne was faced with the knowledge that her mother wouldn't stop until she had either proven herself as heir, or gotten her out of the way so that her favored child could rule. Ithlinne was no fool, she knew her best option would be to leave, allow her mother to believe that she had succumbed to her wounds.
Taking only her spellbook and the few items she could carry, she left the cold comfort of her home.
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osoreruna · 1 month
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i even narrate all might replies differently than toshinori replies 💀
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danothan · 2 years
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runs in the family
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esta-elavaris · 2 months
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maaaaan so I've spoken ad nauseum about how I write fic sooo much faster than novel work just because novel work makes me so stupidly anxious so it's difficult not to get avoidant when it comes to it.
But these last few weeks, something has just?? clicked?? Still have a boatload of edits to do, and then I need to write a biiiiiig final chunk of the thing, but this difference is so, so promising.
I still get a wee bit of "oh god oh fuck" right before I dive in, but compared to constant "this is shit this is shit this is shit" that made it hard to write more than 3 sentences per hour in ~2022, this is such a nice change. I was starting to get seriously worried 💀
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skunkes · 3 months
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when you mentioned that talon takes up sex in the comic w/o elaborating much i immediately understood it was an instant gratification/desire for a quick touch without getting involved in the "mess" of love bc i did a similar thing with my oc and its genuinely SO cool to see someone else do it and mention specifically because its out of a deep seeded fear of getting too attached but still wanting some sort of touch bc they literally like. cant live without it for too long. i love it im chewing on talon
YEAS....im considering rewriting/reuploading that whole panel because in my need to not be a weirdo and unnecessarily go into depth on a characters abuse, i ended up being rly vague in the parts where I couldve explained more, but Im glad someone understood even before my clarification ^_^
(harder with talon as no matter how much he tells himself he'll never risk losing anybody again, he's very quick to get attached. Desperate for a home, a family, to curl up around something warm and kind)
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rifter-pride · 2 months
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i've been digging thru old backed up writing and found some scrapped lore i never finished but still kinda like so i'm gonna do the impossible
tidy it up and finish it
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magentagalaxies · 4 months
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in an unexpected turn of events i'm having to edit down the content in my aubrey monologues so that i can actually fit all four of them in my final performance for my standup class and on the one hand it sucks bc i really love some of the jokes i have to cut but on the other hand someday i'll be able to write more monologues and possibly expand upon this cut material so i can get a whole monologue on a topic that would've just been an aside
#the actual standups in my class who have only ever done a tight five having to stretch their new material to fit the 20 minute final#vs me‚ an extremely extra fag who's used to writing full-length scripts‚ realizing the 3 monologues i've timed already add up to 20 min#and i'm working on a fourth one that works better as an opener than any of the existing pieces so it has to get in#(it'll be short tho i'm making sure of it. it's just like ''here's some material about aubrey's relationship to zir mom!'')#(then immediate segue into the uncle reg bit)#got the catcalling monologue down to 5 minutes and 30 seconds when the first draft was nine minutes#(tbh i'm fine with most of those cuts i think they were mostly filler)#(there's a bit about androgyny that i liked that i cut but tbh it doesn't work as just one paragraph it needs more nuance)#the uncle reg monologue is having the ''dumped at the pride parade'' thing trimmed down which is funny bc that was the original premise#tbh i could probably stretch my toronto pride material ft. uncle reg to a full 20 minutes bc the first stream of consciousness was so long#i wrote it right after i myself got back from toronto pride and tbh i actually wrote it as the outline for a sitcom episode#so the monologue version is very reduced down bc there were so many details that didn't fit in#and i'm realizing the material about the person who dumped aubrey should be its own monologue that i'll do another time#and maybe even add in the rest of the sitcom-style story at some point bc tbh that's some of my favorite aubrey material i've come up with#and the cishetman monologue is getting the intro part about facetime trimmed a bit bc it meanders#and the ''sugar and spice and everything nice'' joke is being cut even tho i like it bc i actually have a ton more material in my notebook#that's just me riffing on how weird those expressions are. and the material isn't polished but i could make it something later#the song isn't being trimmed bc it has a very specific run time and imo is the strongest. so that's my closer#anyway thank you to everyone reading my aubrey updates i'll be sure to post the final 20-minute-special on youtube#and i hope i get to do more monologues soon so i can put the other ideas mentioned here (as well as some i haven't) out into the world
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pyrriax · 3 months
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gotta love concepting fics and debating whether i put it all as a single "chapter" / weirdly formatted oneshot or put it in four separate chapters. i have time to think about it but also this line is . fun
Lesson Zero: You are going to destroy the world, and you will do so with a smile on your face.
^ this is the piece that closes the fic. for context.
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