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#figure it out
ellecdc · 16 days
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okay so I just wanted to start by saying I love you're moonwater stories so much.
Ive been thinking about this like paring ig for a bit and your recent moonwater story when r gets home from girls night just made me think of it more so if you're interested id love for you to do it.
Basically its like poly moonwater plus Barty ive been calling it moonwaterkiller in my head (idk if its already a ship or already has a name but I haven't been able to find anything) but basically I feel like r and Barty would be like a chaotic duo and reg and rem would just be like wtf a lot idk... I just think it has some potential and I just love your writing so fucking much.
(I also just love how you write Barty)
so if you're interested I think it would be cool
much love :)
I love the way your mind works babes. thanks for your request! (it's almost two am where I am so please forgive any awkward sentences or spelling mistakes). also, if I didn't completely lose everyone with my DeathStar fics - this may very well do it. && this was written with the help of our fabulous @unstablereader
poly!moonwater x chaotic fem!reader + Barty Crouch Junior
Regulus didn’t know whether to be concerned or slightly aroused at the slightly deranged way that Remus was stalking the halls in search of you and Barty. 
You and Regulus had both at one point or another been in a friends-with-benefits situation with Barty (albeit separately) during your time in school, before you and Regulus went and fell in love with a Gryffindor. 
Regulus still wasn’t quite over the humiliation; both of falling in love and falling in love with a Gryffindor.
Of course, you and Regulus both stayed friends with Barty; Regulus mostly because he couldn’t shake him (ignoring the fact that Regulus really was quite fond of his maniacal friend), and you because the two of you really were sort of two sides of the same hyperactive galleon. 
And though Remus (and sometimes Regulus) liked to pretend that yours and Barty’s friendship caused them grief, they couldn’t deny how much they valued Barty’s loyalty and devotion to his friends; specifically you. 
Regulus’ new favourite thing was easily Remus’ new found appreciation for Barty. 
Up until this point, Barty had been his notoriously flirty and salacious self when it came to the likes of Remus, who wasn’t yet accustomed to Barty’s unique…personality.
However, once Remus realised the history between his two partners and the other Slytherin boy, he quickly came to appreciate the kind of pull Barty could have on people.
So, Remus had started flirting back.
Barty hated it.
Regulus loved it.
You started keeping track of the number of times Remus reduced Barty to a blushing and stuttering mess in your notebook. 
Barty hated that too.
It was nearing curfew and Remus and Regulus hadn’t seen you all afternoon. 
Usually that was fine, considering you were a bit of a free spirit. What was concerning, however, was that they hadn’t seen Barty either.
Regulus watched as Remus checked the stupid map that his brother and their friends had created when his brows furrowed in confusion.
“What? Don’t tell me they’re in the middle of the Black Lake again?” Regulus asked quickly, moving to stand over Remus’ shoulder to peer at the map.
“Again?”
“Don’t ask.” Regulus muttered.
“But…doesn’t Barty not know how to swim?”
“I said don’t ask.”
Seeming to know better, Remus turned back and pointed towards the Ravenclaw common room on the map. “It says they’re up in Ravenclaw tower?”
“For fuck’s sake.” Regulus muttered, dragging a hand over his face.
“How’d two Slytherin’s manage to get into Ravenclaw tower?” Remus asked bemusedly, earning him an unimpressed glare from Regulus. 
“Remus, I love you, but that was perhaps the dumbest question you’ve ever asked me.”
Remus rolled his eyes as he closed the map and tucked it back into his trunk.
“Come on, we might be able to catch up to Pandora on her way up and have her help us in.” 
They had indeed caught up to Pandora, and Pandora had indeed helped them in, though it seemed to be for naught. 
“I thought your stupid map said they were here.” Regulus muttered as he surveyed the common room, unable to spot a single lick of green and silver.
“It’s not stupid and they are in here.” Remus muttered back, moving to stand in the dead centre of the room. 
“How do you know they’re here if you can’t see them?”
Remus glared at Regulus before looking around to ensure no one could hear them. “I can smell them.” He whispered.
Well Regulus just didn’t know what good these wolfy senses were if they were still out two Slytherin’s. 
“Shit.” Regulus heard whispered suddenly as a quill fell from the air and landed beside his foot.
Remus and Regulus both looked up to see you and Barty casually lounging in the chandelier above them.
“Are you sodding kidding me!?” Regulus shouted.
“I think our cover’s been blown.” You said simply to Barty as if you didn’t have two fuming and fretting boyfriends standing nearly forty feet give or take below you.
“Pity.” Barty responded as he peered down. “This was a nice refuge.”
“How’d you even get up there?” Remus cried, pacing like he was getting ready to catch you should you fall.
“Magic.” Barty taunted from above.
“Junior, so help me gods if that witch falls I-”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lupin. I resent the insinuation that I would ever let anything happen to our sweet angel baby.” Barty bit back immediately.
“Okay, okay. Fair enough.” Remus acquiesced as if he were negotiating a hostage situation. “Why don’t you both just come down here, nice and slow, okay?”
Both you and Barty leaned forward to look down at the two boys, causing the chandelier to swing precariously.
“Fucking hells! Stop moving!” Remus shrieked, causing the attention of the few Ravenclaws sitting in the common room to look over.
“Such a worrier.” Barty muttered as he stood and started manoeuvring himself to the edge of the chandelier - you following him over and causing the chandelier to tip to a nearly 90 degree angle. 
“I’m going to be sick, I’m actually going to throw up right here.” Regulus muttered mostly to himself whilst Remus tried to stand directly underneath you lest you need to be caught. 
To Remus and Regulus’ absolute horror, Barty launched himself away from the chandelier, grabbing at the billowy banners hanging from the ceiling causing the chandelier to swing away from him like a pendulum. 
“JUNIOR!” Remus shouted, causing Barty to momentarily look shamefaced as he looked below him. 
As the chandelier swung towards the opposite wall, you too launched yourself at one of the billowy banners hanging from the ceiling and began monkey climbing down them.
“Can you make sure she doesn’t fall, please.” Remus barked at Regulus as he made his way towards Barty.
Barty let out a high pitched screech and began hastily making his way down the wall. “Run Treasure! Save yourself!” He shouted dramatically.
You turned quickly at that and saw Regulus making his way to you.
You let out a surprised squeak and hurried down, and before Regulus realised what you were doing, you had used your wand to open one of the windows and were shimmying out.
“Oi! What the-” but before Regulus could even shove his torso out the window, you’d managed to shift into your animagus form - a mink, which Regulus felt was very fitting considering what a sodding cheeky minx you were being right now - and began scaling your way down the side of the building.
Regulus was interrupted by the sound of a squeal - Remus’ squeal - and turned to see Remus hanging halfway out of the window in much the same fashion that Regulus had been.
Unlike Regulus, however, Remus had been successful in his capture of Barty and had him hanging from the tallest tower at Hogwarts by one of his arms.
“Junior! Are you trying to sodding kill me!?” Remus barked angrily at him, trying to pull Barty up without any help from Barty himself.
Barty looked up at Remus with all the innocence he could muster (read: none) and winked. 
“Catch me if you can, Mr. Wolf.”
And Barty shrunk into his own animagus form - an osprey - and let out a cry before swooping down to pick up something that looked suspiciously like a mink from the eaves of one of the lower towers and took off towards the grounds. 
“Fucking son of a bitch.” Remus cursed as he tried catching his breath, still sitting half out of the Ravenclaw window. “Why do we put up with those two?”
Regulus shrugged with all the nonchalance he could muster. “‘Cause they’re cute?”
Remus sighed and hit his head against the windowsill. “They’re so sodding lucky that they are…”
“Come on.” Regulus said, offering Remus a hand and helping him out of the window. “Unfortunately, I know exactly where they went.”
Barty loved nothing more than the feeling of his feet sinking into the sediment of the Black Lake below his feet. He also loved the feeling of being near you, his Treasure. He also loved the idea of two handsome men frantically searching for you, and him by proxy.
All this to say, Barty was having a really nice night.
“Junior!”
Barty’s face morphed into a Cheshire cat grin as he turned towards the voice of the man and his boyfriend as they stormed towards the waters edge.
“Well hello, Lupin. How nice of you to join us; care for a dip?”
“Get out of the water.” Regulus drawled in a bored tone.
“Why would I do such a thing? The water’s lovely, I’m in wonderful company, and we’re going to feed the Giant Squid.” He argued.
“Barty.” Remus barked with all the severity he could manage. “You don’t know how to swim.”
Barty scoffed indignantly. “Yeah, well…neither can Reggie!”
“That’s why I’m standing on the shore you absolute bell-end.” Regulus countered quickly.
Remus turned his furious gaze into a bemused one as he took in Regulus. “Do you really not know how to swim either?”
“None of us can!” You shouted from your disturbingly deeper place within the lake as the gentle waves nearly lapped against your skirt.
“Oh, for the love of- you know what? This summer, everyone’s getting swimming lessons.” Remus proclaimed.
“Ou, does that mean I get to see you in your swim trunks, Lupin?” Barty called.
Remus, without missing a beat, started towards Barty, walking into the lake in his shoes and all. “You could see me right now, in less, for free, Junior. You only had to ask.”
Barty let out a screech and tried running towards you, albeit in slow motion on account of the water’s resistance. “Y/N! Treasure! Help! Make him stop!”
“No can do, bubs.” You called back in monotone, still throwing chunks of bread towards the middle of the Lake in hopes of eliciting the company of one Giant Squid. 
“Dove, you’re going to catch a cold; get out of the water.” Remus called to you, pants soaked up to his knees after giving up on chasing Barty in the water.
“We’re trying to make friends!” You whined.
“You cannot make friends with a squid, amour. He will eat you.” Regulus explained from the shore. 
“He wouldn’t eat his friend.” You scoffed. 
“Dove.” Remus barked again.
“I want to see the the big water kitty!” You whined again, turning towards the boys and offering the most pathetic pout you could muster.
Regulus scoffed from his place, still dry on the shore, Remus let out a pained sigh, and Barty all but skipped towards you. 
“A valiant death it will be!” He cheered before he felt the fabric of his jumper being summoned by an accio, dragging him unceremoniously through the water towards Remus.
“No! Ah! AH! STRANGER DANGER. STRANGER DANGER!” He shrieked as Remus threw him over his shoulder.
“Okay, well, now you’re just showing off, Lupin.” He muttered, crossing his arm petulantly as Remus held his free hand out to you.
“Dove, please? Come inside with me?”
You looked distressed at this and moved obediently towards Remus. “Are you mad at me?” You asked timidly.
Barty could actually feel Remus’ body soften beneath him as he allowed some of his tension to dissipate. “Of course not, dovey. I love you.”
You leaned over and pecked a kiss to the corner of his mouth before turning into your animagus mink and swimming to the shore, crawling up Regulus’ pant leg (who admonished you in faux contempt for ruining his trousers), and allowed him to carry you back to the castle. 
Barty was feeling petulant about the whole matter of being chased and chastised so decided then that he was going to force Remus to carry him all the way back to the castle in silence.
Unfortunately for Barty, he hated silence.
He was at least proud he’d made it to the dungeons before giving up on his vow of silence.
“You’re really not upset with her?” Barty asked quietly from his current prison. He could feel Remus’ head tilt in confusion, though his steps never faltered.
“Of course not?” He responded as a question.
“Hmmm.” Barty said, racking his brain for something to upset or fluster this man.
“Oh! What about me having slept with both your boyfriend and your girlfriend?”
“What about it?” Remus asked plainly. 
“Well…aren’t you upset about that?”
Remus scoffed and adjusted his grip on Barty, hand’s migrating none too innocently up the back of his thighs. “Junior. The only thing I’m upset about is that you haven’t slept with all three of us. I don’t like feeling left out, you know?”
Barty made a strangled sound as he struggled in Remus’ grip to no avail, causing you and Regulus to chuckle from a few strides ahead as you all stepped into the Slytherin common room.
“We told you he was smooth, Barty.” You chuckled.
“You should hear him in bed.” Regulus taunted, reaching over to pinch Barty’s arse, causing him to yelp and start cursing at him.
Remus relented and put Barty down, who immediately made for Regulus’ throat.
“Easy, Junior.” Remus chuckled, pulling him back by the shoulder. “You wanna keep Reg around, don’t you?”
Barty harrumphed and crossed his arms indignantly.
“We’d like to keep you around.” Remus continued.
Barty grumbled again and let out a quiet. “Fine.”
Remus beamed at him, which was very alarming if you asked Barty, as they stepped into his and Regulus’ shared dorm; Rosier and Avery were already asleep in their beds with their curtains drawn.
“Yeah? You’ll let us keep you?” Remus asked.
“I said fine, Lupin.” He bit back.
“Great. So we’re in a relationship then.” He explained simply, causing Barty to level him with a severe glare. “How dare you, Lupin. Never say such vile things to me again.” He spat before storming towards the boy’s bathroom.
Regulus groaned and grabbed his own toiletries before making his way to the washroom behind him. “I’ll go make sure he doesn’t try to drown himself in the shower again.”
Remus shook his head and changed into his pyjamas before climbing into Regulus’ bed and pulling you towards him.
“So, explain this to me, Dove. Why is Barty the way he is?”
You snorted a laugh and turned to face him. “You’re going to have to be way more specific, love.”
Remus chuckled and ran his hands up and down your back. “He likes Reg. He loves you. He seems sweet on me. We invite him to be ours and he accepts - but runs when we make it mean something?”
You smiled up at your boyfriend and booped his nose with a perfectly manicured finger - which Remus found very confusing considering you spend your spare time scaling the rafters of grand ceilings and enticing Giant Squids from their hiding places. “Barty doesn’t understand, Rem. He wouldn’t know love if it punched him right in the face.”
Remus could feel his brows furrow and he pulled you in tighter to his chest. “Dove…love doesn’t punch you in the face?”
Apparently that had been the wrong thing to say as you rolled your eyes in exasperation and threw your head back onto the pillow. “You see? That’s the kind of thing someone who grew up loved would know.”
It’s not that Remus ever really forgot to worry about you per se, but he sometimes really worried about you Purebloods. 
At some point in the night, you had apparently decided Remus and Regulus’ bed was too hot and moved to Barty’s. Remus would have been slightly more petulant about the matter if he hadn’t thought you looked absolutely precious with Barty resting his head on your chest.
He looked so innocent in his sleep.
Sleep clearly didn’t know him very well.
Remus was shocked when the four of you entered the Great Hall for breakfast and Barty actually followed you three to the Gryffindor table. Though Remus was trying to play it cool, he couldn’t help but feel a flutter of hope surge within him at what that might mean for the three four of you.
Remus was just about to bite into his toast when a sultry voice sounded from behind Barty.
“Hello, Bartemus.” Amelia Bones sing-songed as she trailed a finger up Barty’s arm.
His brows furrowed almost comically from above the rim of his coffee cup before he slowly lowered it and turned to consider the Hufflepuff.
“Bones. Can I help you?” He asked, punctuating the word help as he plucked her fingers from his being between his two fingers as if he’d found something really quite disgusting on his person.
“I was thinking, you could help me, perhaps tonight?”
Barty turned to look at her incredulously.
“Help with what, Amelia? I’m really quite busy.” He spat, gesturing wildly to his cup of coffee. 
“An orgasm or two? Gods, you’re pissy in the mornings.”
Barty scoffed, sounding completely scandalised as he clutched at non-existent pearls adorning his neck. “I am sitting here with my beloveds, Amelia. For shame. You see this lot? I’m theirs, capiche?” 
Amelia looked bemusedly at the group of you before shaking her head in confusion. “Whatever you say, Junior.”
She moseyed on away, and Barty turned back towards his cup of coffee. “The gall of some people, honestly.” He said in exasperation, downing the rest of his still hot coffee and standing unceremoniously.
“Well, I best be off. Things to fuck up, people to scare. Tah-tah.” He called, pressing a quick kiss to your hair as he left the Great Hall.
Suddenly, realisation dawned on Remus.
“Ah, I see. So no to a relationship, but he is ours.”
You and Regulus chorused a hum of acknowledgement. 
“That’s just how Barty operates. You’ll get used to it.” You explained, still not looking up from the Daily Prophet you had been reading all this time.
Remus didn’t mind getting used to that; not if it meant he managed to get everything he wanted.
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housecow · 4 months
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I’ve always been attracted to thick girls, but I also find bbw’s really hot. I’m not sure how’d I’d feel about being in a relationship with a bbw though. Like I really find certain one’s attractive, depending on face and personality (always) but for someone who’s always found fat girls hot it feels weird to also be on the fence about ever dating one. Is that weird?
i first want to say that this is going to come across as rude, and i am sorry about that!! but this is a topic i have experience with and its something i feel strongly about, lol.
yes, that is weird! i had an odd thing with someone like this, and as someone who qualifies as a bbw (i guess), it sucked. like a lot. i don’t understand the hesitance there—is it a societal thing? are you embarrassed to be be seen with someone that big? are you worried about what it implies?
honestly, and i apologize because this is rude, you should get over it. i find it incredibly insulting when someone is like this, personally. it shows a lack of respect for yourself and others. there is no difference between these people (thin/larger/fat girls) besides body size, for me this would be a problem and a major red flag.
if you’re on the fence, you shouldn’t even consider it. and maybe you should stop consuming bbw porn or whatever until you see them as people besides their body :))
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orpheuslament · 7 months
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need to [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]
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itlearns · 1 month
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Miles is deliberate. Thorough and precise. Miles remembers what makes you twitch and when you take an inhale a bit too sharply. Miles is gentle and careful.
After all you did that’s nearly not enough. After all you’ve put both of you through that’s way too much. You want Miles to rip your ribcage open and burrow his teeth into your beating heart so you could still feel it being torn apart.
But Miles is kind. And Miles is merciless.
Miles makes your nerves sing. And – just for so long – it is louder than your guilty consciousness.
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bonearenaofmyskull · 4 months
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This will be my one and only post on the subject of post-s3 canon-compliant Hannigram...
...unless ofc the show gets renewed, which, at this point--it won't, lbr. Martha de Laurentiis was the show's champion and navigator of the rights issues, and she has literally died. If anyone else is championing it, I don't know about it. Maybe something can come through eventually as the new company leadership gets shit figured out, idk. But I'm not holding my breath.
That's the key point here which most of these asks don't seem to recognize: they want me to give an opinion on the state of the relationship, and whether or not Hannibal and Will can be together for a long term and maintain contentment in their relationship with each other: the Happy Ever After Question. But what these asks are most notably NOT doing--even though the askers always frame it as if they are--is asking me about the kind of storytelling would be likely in a continuation of the show: the Plot? What Plot? question. They want to have their plot cake and happily eat it ever after too. And it just doesn't work that way.
These are really very, very different questions. And what would happen if the show actually did come back has as much to do with what would have to happen to resurrect the show out of rights oblivion and then negotiate endless contracts AND how the creatives own lives and circumstances may have changed them and their points of view over the years, as well as the years themselves.
And because the show is very likely never coming back it's really a moot point now. Fantasize however you want. Write fic however you want. It's your damn story now, not the creatives. So in answer to the first, Happy Ever After Question, yeah, sure, why the fuck not. Let Hannigram have forever. But wait--you like plot with your porn? Then by all means give them some conflict. Tear them from the seams, their skin, their bones. Does that make you happy now?
But stop pulling down other people who are doing it in a different way than you're doing it, even if you can't understand it. Yeah, you know who you are....
As for the ~cANoN~ question, let's also be real for a second. If the show were renewed TODAY, it will have been more than a decade between seasons three and four, and Bryan Fuller has been pretty clear that Hannibal and Will are together during that time. So CAN they stay together for a period of years? Yeah, sure, why the fuck not. Obviously they HAVE.
But also--if the show were to come back, would they be destined for angsty shit and conflict and, yanno, PLOT? Again, obviously. It's a ridiculous notion that the show would continue without it. Flip side of that, though, is the equally ridiculous notion that seems to be floating around that if they can't be Disney princesses in their happily-ever-after together, then they can't be together at all, or at least, not for long. That's also absurd.
So let's touch base with what we know, and not what we each individually prefer.
Let's pretend--perhaps ambitiously--for a minute that if the show did ever come back it would be following the plan that we were left off with. It would stretch into 3 more seasons, with Cuban, Korean, and Cajun dishes iirc for episode titles. Bryan Fuller was pretty clear that season four would dive into an untapped portion of the books, revisit season one in a "really interesting way," and be pitched as Angel Heart meets Inception. Will might achieve happiness but not till the ending of the whole thing. That's what we know. Sorry I can't cite any of this; I haven't looked up a Hannibal article in half a decade.
So, leaving aside specifics and just getting to the question at hand, what we do know from season 1 is that Hannibal and Will were together. So, logically, they're probably together in any theoretical season 4. And OF COURSE they would be--they just spent all of S3 apart. You gotta vary this shit up. And they have to have internal and external conflicts, because writing 101. And the internal conflicts are meaningless--as would be all the rest of the preceding show--unless they're deeply and passionately invested in and love each other. That was the whole frickin' point of S3.
I don't honestly even understand how any of this is a question or a debate. Why are y'all even arguing in this the year of our lord almost 2024, and making me grumpy by sending me endless asks about stuff that's been answered for years and years. Why did I have to read with my OWN TWO EYES that someone who joined the fandom in 2016 (!!!) is so #FandomOld that people are afraid to argue with them????
...
So, y'all, this is all I'm willing to say about a potential continuation and ending of the show:
In a simple sense, the pattern the show was setting up is S1 & S4 Hannigram is together and solving crimes (at least in some weird Angel Heart way), S2 & S5 is semi-together, semi-apart Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane thing (with other stuff), and S3 & S6 on-the-run culminating in Something Big (probably at least partially apart). That doesn't mean this is the way the show would go, but it'd be very easy to write Clarice or an expy coming into the story to chase them down and end up mentored by them (either one or both) with this format.
As for the very final ending of the whole thing, the ending *I* would write may not be the same as what Bryan Fuller would write, but to me it seems both obvious where the show should go and that it would be completely and utterly satisfying to shippers and non-shippers alike. And I have run my theoretical ending by devout Hannigram shippers, and it met their approval. So if I can come up with something that both works for them and works for my sense of completionism in storytelling, then I'm sure Bryan Fuller could. He's way more practiced than me.
I have consistently said that I do not relate to the notion that it'd be better to have them together in one's imagination than it would be to actually see Mads and Hugh acting together in the ACTUAL SHOW, regardless of how that ends. Because here's the thing: my imagination is boundless and endless, and I can get an unlimited amount of Hannigram doing whatever the fuck I please whenever the fuck I please. More show, on the other hand, is rare as hen's teeth. I would take that miracle if I could get it.
The End.
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eidolons-stuff · 1 year
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Enid: *tightly holding on to her pillow* "I wish we weren't friends"
Yoko: *once again confused* "You wish that you and Wednesday weren't friends?"
Enid: *nods her head slightly*
Yoko: "Is it because she doesn't take your feelings into consideration? Or because she's a sociopath? Because she always puts herself first, not caring if others get hurt in the process?
Enid: *quickly sits up* "No!"
Yoko: *a little startled* "then why else do you not want to be her friend?"
Enid: "well... I don't not want to be her friend, but-"
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mommapiggy · 5 months
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"He can love you right but also crush you just the same..." -ME 💔
"If I'm a good piggy, I'll crush him physically instead..." - ALSO ME 💀
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ja50nt0ddwa5h3r3 · 4 months
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Stephanie Brown has that magic about her. You know the & symbol?
It's a squiggly S. She just says "s"
"Hey, let's get RR & R" sounds like "Hey, let's get RR sSsS R."
We deserve a woman like that in power
A great thanks to @loosepocketchange01 for this XD
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wowieeitsisa · 10 months
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Oh fuck I just watched the new short now- do y’all realize that’s the only time Second’s powers were acknowledged outside of AvA? And it’s because of KIRBY? AND THEY ACTED LIKE IT’S NOTHING, SCOFFED WHATEVER KIRBY DID OFF?????
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dart-yetsko · 1 month
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"Почему он решил быть здесь, с нами... Я дам ему время проявить себя..."
@iggy-rhodes-rat
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rxttenfish · 9 months
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wordsofwisdomandsoul · 3 months
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anotherpapercut · 6 months
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I often say that I am "extremely bisexual" and people are always asking me how you can be extremely bisexual. fucking amateurs don't even know about Bisexuality: Extreme
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90snickalways · 4 months
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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!! 🎆🎇
Be safe, and I hope you have a fantastic 2024!!!✨️
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I would totally sign up for a “Mel!Eric “Tim + Lucy” cameo.
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