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dylshoney · 5 years

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when you’re ready「part two」

synopsis: reader found out shawn wrote ‘when you’re ready’ about another girl

a/n: i am very sorry about the long wait, but there was something about this that took me forever to write. so after literally six rewrites and lots of complaining, here it is, part two <3

there will not be a part three

warnings: language

when you’re ready 「part one」

The bright red building is taunting you, making you physically have to turn your head and impatiently count down the seconds until the light turns green.

You turn the radio up louder, hoping that it will distract you from the overwhelming urge to turn left into the Tim Horton’s drive-through. You imagine coming home with a bag full of timbits and two hot chocolates, your usual order, but you know that it would be wrong of you to do something so mundane. So familiar. Especially with the conversation you have planned.

It’s barely eight am, but Toronto traffic is at its peak on this brisk Thursday morning. For the first time in your life, you’re thankful for it.

Your hands are gripping your steering wheel tightly, your mind flashing to Shawn doing the same thing the night before and soon your grip is loosening and you’re trying to catch your breath.

Another wave of dizziness flies over you and you’re almost tempted to pull over on the side of the road to calm yourself down. You blink away the unshed tears and turn the music up another few notches, trying to concentrate on Ariana Grande’s smooth voice.

Your knee bounces slightly and you’re suddenly regretting drinking that third coffee not even twenty minutes ago. But it was necessary, the only thing keeping you from falling asleep at the wheel.

You hadn’t slept all night.

After getting home around one am and spending another couple hours on the phone with various friends, you were far too jittery and anxious to sleep.

Shawn first called around three am.

The familiar tone of one direction’s midnight memories, an inside joke, scared you so much that you almost dropped your phone. You stared at it in shock the entire time it rang. The picture of Shawn you had taken once when he wasn’t looking, was staring back at you and you found yourself in another trance.

This happened every single time he called you, which seemed to be in 15 minutes interludes.

This lasted for an hour or two, until you finally found the strength to unlock your phone and text him.

I’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight Shawn.

You had never been this formal over text, but he responded not even seconds later.

But even after the looming threat of Shawn’s phone calls was gone, you found yourself unable to fall asleep.

You felt alone, probably for the first time in two years. Your body felt cold, no matter how many blankets you piled onto your bed.

So, that was when you decided to pull your phone out and do the absolute worst thing you could possibly do.

You googled Kate DeMarco.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting to find, but as you scrolled through an endless number of selfies on her Instagram, you found yourself feeling more hollow than before.

Remembering Jenna’s words to call you whenever you had a problem, you quickly look up the time difference between Toronto and Paris, immediately calling your best friend and subsequently, spending the next hour sobbing and spilling your soul to her.

It felt good to rant to a third party, someone who knew you. Someone who knew the you before Shawn.

The conversation, although the most helpful one of all, made your heart sink into your chest, further solidifying your already made up mind.

You were brought out of your thoughts as you turned left, leaving the highway and making your way down the intricate smaller roads that led to your shared home.

You don’t allow yourself to think, knowing that you would ultimately overstress, so instead, you focus on the sky.

The sun hasn’t risen completely yet, your eyes transfixed as all the colors begin blurring together in front of you. The clouds are like great wings of gold and yellow and orange, like a shower of glowing stones from a volcano.

The sight manages to soothe your thoughts and you find yourself humming along to the radio.

You don’t expect to feel so calm, but your house comes into view, and a wave of serenity washes over you.

You spend a minute collecting your thoughts as you park your car, before taking a deep breath and hopping out.

You feel like you’re walking in slow motion. The porch seems to be moving farther away as your feet shift sluggishly toward it.

You reach the brightly painted door, for the first time not feeling comfortable enough to pull out your own keys. You raise a fist to knock, but the door swings open – your boyfriend staring down at you.

You’re both silent for a moment and for a fleeting second you feel the urge to laugh bubble inside you. You know he must have been watching you from the living room window; something the two of you would do whenever you knew Brian was coming over– waiting to scare him. The memory brings a bile taste to your mouth.

You open your mouth to say something but Shawn’s already moving, his muscular arms wrapping around you tightly. You can feel him exhale, and your heart clenches at the realization that this is the first time he’s been able to breathe comfortably in a while.

The thought makes you tense up. For the first time in two years, you don’t feel immediate comfort in Shawn’s embrace, instead, you begin to feel claustrophobic; your breaths quickening as he buries his face into your neck, inhaling your scent – something you know brings him immediate comfort.

“Shawn –” You begin, but he’s cutting you off, his hoarse voice making you shudder as you realize he probably spent the entire night crying. And then you’re feeling it again; the overwhelming, suffocating guilt.

“ –and I called you – a lot. I understand why you didn’t pick up. And now that I think about it you were probably asleep. But fuck baby – it’s so good to have you back in my arms. I can’t sleep when we’re fight – ”

“Shawn,” You’re trying to find your voice, stepping away from him, refusing to look at his face, knowing that you would be met with his droopy puppy dog eyes, “We need to talk.”

He’s nodding before you can speak, and this just brings a hot wave of anger flowing through you. “Let’s go sit down, I can explain everything. I’m so angry with how things played out last night and I –”

You’re shaking your head and stepping away from his outstretched hand, “I think we should take a break.”

Your eyes flicker up to his, and you’re immediately regretting it. He looks like you’ve just slapped him across the face, which, you realize, might be better than what you’re actually doing to him.

His amber eyes are wide and filled to the brim with unshed tears, cheeks flushed and his mouth opens slightly, like he wants to say something but can’t.

“I know this might seem sudden,” you find yourself saying, “But last night made me realize something.” You bite your lip, feeling the iron-like taste of blood entering your mouth as you break skin, “You’re everything to me, Shawn. And not in a good way.”

You exhale, trying to piece together the chaotic thoughts swirling around your mind, “I have become so invested in us, in you, that I’m losing myself.

The first thought I had when I realized you wrote the song about Kate, the thought that prompted my panic attack – wasn’t that you loved her. It was that I finally found proof that I’m not good enough for you.”

“Y/n..” He tries to get closer to you, extending a hand, but you’re stepping away, your speech becoming more urgent.

“I’ve spent the last two years trying to please everyone around me. Be the perfect girlfriend, holding you on a pedestal that I’m not sure you deserve anymore. In my eyes, you could do no wrong. I was always in the wrong. I was the cause of our fights. You wrote When you’re Ready for her because I wasn’t good enough.

And I’m done with that Shawn.” You finally find the courage to look back up at him, not surprised to see that he’s crying again. His tears streaming soundlessly down his perfect cheeks, but you can’t find it in you to stop.

“Last night. It was like something finally snapped, like I finally opened my eyes. The past two years have been amazing, Shawn. The best of my life. But it’s like – it’s like I spent them looking through a filtered lens. I gave you everything I had. I think it’s time I take something for myself.”

“Please don’t do this.” He doesn’t know what else to say, but you can hear the desperation, the pain, in his voice. And that’s when you know you’re making the right decision. Because at that moment, you’re ready to jump into his arms and abandon any morals or self-dignity you had left. And that was dangerous.

“Please don’t leave me.” His breaths are getting choked as he struggles to speak, hiccupping slightly, “I can change. I can do better.”

“Oh Shawn,” against your better judgment, you’re stepping forward and taking his right hand in yours, holding it tightly as you speak. “That’s the thing. You don’t need to change. I do. This relationship, my dependency on you, is becoming unhealthy. And it took me stepping away from you to see it.”

Everything’s silent for a few seconds, Shawn’s grip on your fingers tightening, almost like your touch is the only thing anchoring him down.

“Y/n please,” he swallows, “Let’s talk about this.”

“What is there to say?” Your voice is barely a whisper, and you have to blink a few times to clear your eyes from the collecting tears.

“I’ll be back in a few days to collect my things,” is the last thing you say to him, hoping that he would understand where you were coming from. But his eyes seemed more sad and confused than ever.

He hugs you once, the two of you shaking in the embrace, both not willing to let go – but for completely different reasons.

No more words are exchanged, just longing glances and the small smile you manage to give him as you’re climbing back into your car.

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, or the fact that you physically cannot cry anymore, but you spend the ride to Lina’s house with a clear conscious.

“Brian. What part of no, do you not understand?”

“And what part of it’s my motherfucking birthday do you not understand?” You can hear his smirk through the phone and you’re rolling your eyes for the dozenth time. “I’m turning 22 you dumbass, I need you there.”

“That really makes me want to come, thanks Bri.”

“Y/n.” He releases a breath, and you know that you’re going to end up coming, no matter what he’s going to say. “If you aren’t in the bar tomorrow at 9pm sharp, I’m going to call Jake and get him to beat your fucking ass.”

You gasp, pretending to be shocked, “Jake would never. He loves me.”

“I wouldn’t say he loves you,” Brian tuts, “More like tolerates.”

“That is not true and you know it. He’d be on my side for sure.”

“Whatever,” He’s humming, “See you tomorrow! Bye!”

He doesn’t give you a chance to agree or disagree before hanging up leaving you with an annoyed smile on your face. Or the Brian effect, as he would like to call it.

You sit on your bed, your heart pounding in your chest as you make the split decision to attend Brian’s Barhopping Birthday Bash – as the invitation he sent out said.

Out of all of Shawn’s friends, Brian was always the one you were closest to. He often joked that in case of divorce, he would take your side, since you were his ‘long lost twin’. You were happy to see that he kept his word.

Although he didn’t take your side completely, he still stayed one of your closest friends after ‘The Break’, which is more than you could say for some of his other friends who immediately cut you off.

Before you can get too far into your head, you’re rushing to begin picking out an outfit, screaming at Alexa to turn up Spotify's top hits playlist.

You’re dancing around your room, throwing miscellaneous items onto your bed, trying to convince your mind that this was going to be a fun outing.

Your eyes are closed and suddenly everything stops. The song changes and the first cord hits.

You don’t know when it happened, but you’re screaming. You’re screaming at Alexa to stop. To stop the new song.

Maybe it’s the panic in your voice, or your slurred speech but the dumb robot can’t seem to understand you, Shawn’s ‘Lost in Japan’ getting louder around you until you feel like you’re suffocating in it.

It’s probably only been ten seconds, but to you, it feels like an eternity of your song taunting you.

You’re grabbing the device before you can stop yourself, turning it off and throwing it across the room – thankful that the carpet stops it from smashing. There’s a blissful moment of silence, until Jenna’s screaming is heard, like a panic alarm blaring through the apartment.

She’s in your arms before you can blink, her hands on your shoulders, grey eyes wide and terrified. You’re well aware that’s she’s saying something, but your mind is on the dumb little robot on the floor and how you suddenly want it to play the song again.

“- and maybe going to Brian’s birthday isn’t the best thing for you right now.” Your head whips back to face her as you finally catch the ending of her rant.

“What?” You’re vehemently shaking your head, “No, I have to go. I promised him.”

“Y/n. You just verged on a mental breakdown at one of his songs. How do you think you’re going to fare when it’s actually him?”

You’re silent for a moment, and Jenna’s terrified expression isn’t helping.

“I have to go.” You repeat, this time more for yourself than her.

Her hands travel down from your shoulders to grasp your shaking hands. “Babe. What if he brings her?”

“He won’t,” you manage to spit out, shaking your head, “Brian would never let that happen.”

“Brian can be a tad bit oblivious.”

“Fuck.” You’re on your feet before she can add anything else, pacing around your room. “He wouldn’t invite me and her? Right? He’s not that dumb?”

Jenna’s silent as she watched you from her position on the floor. “I mean, he knows how I feel. But then again, we haven’t spoken about it since the first time we saw them together. But he’s not – he wouldn’t – ”

You’re grabbing your phone before Jenna can scream at you, your fingers gliding along the screen until you find Brian’s name. Just as you’re about to call him, your best friend is yanking the phone out of your hands and throwing it back on your bed. “No!”

“But I have to ask!”

“You’ll look stupid if you do! You know Brian tells him everything!”

“Fuck.” You repeat, falling back onto your bed with a pout. “What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

Jenna’s biting her lip, her eyebrows scrunching, a telling sign that she’s thinking about something very hard. In that moment, you’re tempted to pull her into you and hold her tightly.

You wouldn’t have survived the last three-month with her. Her six-month sabbatical in Paris, thankfully ended around the time your break with Shawn started, the two of you moving into a small loft in downtown Toronto together the second she got back.

Jenna was always the more patient, calculated one out of the two of you, and with her help you managed to live through three full Shawn-less months. Every time something happened and the only person you wanted to call was Shawn, she was next to you, holding your hand and patiently explaining, for the millionth time, why that wasn’t a good idea.

When you first saw the picture of Shawn and Kate having coffee at Denior’s, your favorite coffee shop, just two weeks after the beginning of the break, it was Jenna that dried your tears and took you dancing.

Jenna never once complained when you blared one-direction songs at random times or went days on end without eating. Instead, she would come into your room to turn the music down, always holding a steaming plate of food and waiting patiently until you finished every bite. It was Jenna that held your high-strung pieces together for months.

Now, after a full month without one of your breakdowns, it was Jenna that was giving you the strength to be sitting in an uber, listening to your driver talk about his artisan candle business.

You cursed as you checked the time on your phone, your grip tightening on your phone as your knee bounced. It was almost twenty past nine, and Brian was not one to appreciate being fashionably late.

You’re practically bouncing in your seat as the car pulls up to the first bar, handing the driver way too much change and jumping out of the Sudan. Your heels make it hard for you to run, so you’re doing some sort of heightened speed walk to the front door.

You grasp the metal handle, taking a deep breath, pushing into the dark space. You’re immediately met with flashing lights and a Rolling Stones song playing loudly in the background, which is so blatantly Brian that you cannot resist the smile grazing your lips.

Your fingers are grazing your dress downwards, trying to smooth it out best you can, before you straighten your back and make it down the steps into the bar with a smile, as you see Brian’s smug face staring at you from a few meters away.

“I knew you’d come!” He’s hollering, breaking into a small jog and throwing himself into your arms as you step back to catch him.

He’s a deal taller than you, his head falling perfectly over yours as you laugh, “I didn’t want Jake to beat my ass.”

“Damn right.” He squeezes you once more and pulls away with a wide grin, “You’re the last one here, c’mon.”

Your heart picks up at his words. “Everyone else is already here?”

He nods, a small smirk on his face as he throws an arm over your shoulder, “Not everyone was twenty minutes late.”

“My uber took forever,” you mumble, turning away from his grinning face.

He’s leading you through the bar, until you see a large group of people dancing in two of the large black booths. You’re happy to find that you recognize most of the faces, although a few are unfamiliar and you have to assume that these are the childhood friends Brian was telling you about.

“Y/n!” A rush of sugary perfume hits your senses and you’re thrown back as Alessia launches herself into you. “I’m so glad you’re here. Liv and I were worried we’d have to fight off the testosterone alone.”

You’re laughing despite yourself, holding her tighter, probably more thankful for her at that moment than she is for you. “I would never do that to you. God knows they need more estrogen around here.”

“I was worried when Shawn showed up alone.” She responds nonchalantly and you can feel Brian tense next to you.

“Lissa,” he’s saying before you can ask her what hell she means. “Let’s go get a beer, yeah?”

“Wait, Alessia – ”

They’re either completely ignoring you, or the music is too loud for them to hear, the pair getting farther from you as the head toward the bar.

You can hear a light giggle to your left and you’re smiling widely, genuinely, as you bring a grinning Olivia into a hug. “It’s so good to see you.”

You can feel her nodding, “It’s been far too long, where the hell have you been hiding?”

You’re shrugging as you pull away, “Here and there.”

“Liv, stop hogging her.” You can hear a familiar whine and your smile widens more than you thought possible.

Connor’s pout comes into your vision as he pushes Liv to the side and wraps his arms around you. You relax at the natural feeling of holding him close to you, before pulling away and hitting his chest once.

“Ow! What the hell was that for?” He’s smirking, holding his hand to his heart.

“For not calling me back!”

He throws his head back, light, airy laughter leaving his mouth and you laugh along, both of you knowing that you would never actually be mad at him. “I didn’t want to hear all the reasons why coming would be a bad idea. You had to make that decision all on your – ”

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” Brian’s voice booms through the bar, as the music gets softer around his words. “Welcome to the first ever barhopping birthday bash!”

The entire place erupts into shouts and you join in, clapping with a smile as Brain places a party hat on his head and starts blaring Taylor Swift’s ‘Feeling 22’.

You turn back around to Connor with a grin, “Hey where’s –”

But the younger boy is far from paying attention to you, his hands in the air as he belts a very off-key version of the popular tune. You have to resist taking your phone out and videoing the performance that would put Taylor Swift to shame.

“Dance with me!” He’s shouting and before you can figure out what’s happening, he’s spinning you into the center of the already overcrowded dance floor.

You smile at a few familiar faces that you pass, and let the music take over your senses. You take a few shots that are being passed around on silver trays, and let yourself relax as Liv, Alessia and Dave join your little circle.

Liv’s hand is in yours and you’re laughing, the alcohol momentarily distracting you from searching for a particular floppy head of brown curls.

The songs change but you’re showing no signs of getting tired or taking a break, until Alessia sends you a worried look and moves you to the side.

“Everything okay?” Her words are a little slurred, and you’re almost regretting missing the pregame.

“Yeah. Of course.” And you genuinely mean it, a wide grin adorning your features as you itch to get back to the dance floor. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because you’ve barely spoken to Shawn.” She blinks at you like you’re missing something blatantly obvious. “Are you guys fighting or something?”

Everything seems to freeze for a moment and you’re stepping away from her. “Lissa, Shawn and I, we’re - ”

You pause for a moment, your wide eyes searching her confused ones and your suspicion is confirmed. She has no idea.

You bite your lip, almost forgetting to respond as your thoughts overlap into a chaotic frenzy of emotion. You miss the way her eyes light up at someone behind you, and it’s too late for you to make a run for it.

“Y/n?” A familiar voice speaks and it’s as if all the air in the space is sucked away.

You can make out the shred of panic in Alessia’s eyes, but she’s quick to wipe the traces away, a smile gracing her features once more.

You’re turning away from her, eyes fluttering up to meet soft brown ones. You’re both frozen for a single moment, before he blinks – almost like he was looking at something bright for too long and you don’t fail to notice the redness that colors those sculpted cheeks.

His hair is longer, you also notice, more curly and wild. A stray thought fills your mind and you suddenly imagine what it would be like to run your fingers through his locks as you used to.

You smile instead, “Hey Shawn.”

He seems frozen in place, his mouth opening and closing once, before a wide grin that you once coined his ‘charmer’ smile spreads over him. “You – you’re here.”

“In the flesh.”

He rolls his eyes at you but steps forward nonetheless, and you have to fight the urge to get closer as well, his cologne subconsciously making your heart begin to beat faster.

You’re not sure if Alessia is still behind you, but at that moment, you’re far from caring. You bite your lip as you search for something, anything, to say to him. You’ve planned this moment in your head for months, yet now, with his sparkling eyes staring down at you – it’s as if all the coherent thoughts have evaporated.

“Can we talk?” He’s saying after a moment, and you’re almost tempted to ask him to repeat it. But you’re nodding, and he looks like you’ve just handed him a million dollar check.

It feels as if the entire bar has stopped their movements and are watching the pair of your head toward the exit. You catch Connor’s eyes and he’s wearing an expression that you can only describe as fear, which doesn’t do well in easing your already racing heart.

Shawn holds the door open for you, and you pass by him, thankful for the brisk air, leaving you with something to blame for your shaking hands.

You’re silent for a few moments. Your eyes trained on the empty street in front of you before you sigh, turning back around to face him, “Why didn’t you tell Alessia we broke up?”

His head snaps up at your words and you’re almost tempted to cower away at the intensity of his eyes on you. He’s still for a second, before he runs a hand through his hair and walks up next to you, leaning on the brick wall. “Because we didn’t break up.”

You can’t explain the rush of adrenaline that fires through your veins, but you’re quick to dismiss it. “We haven’t spoken in months, Shawn.”

He nods, almost entirely too calm for your liking. “I know. But that doesn’t mean we’ve broken up.”

Your mouth opens, but he doesn’t give you the chance to speak, “You said you needed space and time. And I’m giving it to you. But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to give up on us.”

Your eyes flutter shut and for a moment you let yourself drown in the perfectly worded fantasy he’s placed before you.

But he’s not finished yet. “I was planning on staying away from you tonight, letting you do your thing. But then.” He swallowing, like the words are physically hurting him. “Then I saw you again. You looked so confident and beautiful. And it was everything I’ve been missing. All those feelings came rushing back and I realized that no matter how hard I try to compress them, they’ll always be there.

I was a fucking fool for letting you leave my apartment that morning. I was a fool for not taking you in my arms and explaining all the reasons I needed you to stay.”

He’s closer to you now, his minty breath hitting your cheek and you almost want to cry, because this is Shawn. Your Shawn. And he’s here, sober, spilling his feelings to you like he’s writing you a song.

“I should have told you that I felt the same. That some mornings I would wake up feeling like I couldn’t breathe. That my love for you was consuming every single cell in my body. But that’s not something I’ve ever been scared of, y/n. I understand why you had to run, and God, I’d given you a million reasons to. But I just need you to know that what I feel for you has always been one hundred percent real.”

He steps away from you, breathing hard like he’s just finished a marathon. You don’t realize you’re crying until you feel a salty tear reach your lips, and you’re brushing it away with a feverish intensity.

“I wrote that song for Kate months before I met you.” His voice is breaking, rough and deeper than you’ve ever heard it. “Teddy found it in one of my journals and suggested we publish it. I agreed because the song meant nothing to me anymore, because Kate meant nothing to me.

I should have made you stay that night, should have proved to you that I loved you and only you. I was planning to propose, actually. Four days from today.”

You’ve pushed yourself so far against the wall of the bar that the brick is digging into your exposed skin, but all you can feel is your chest expanding and it feels like you’re finally able to breathe for the first time in months.

“Four days.” You find your voice, mumbling to him as you wish him closer to you.

He’s nodding, biting his lip so hard you can feel the pain and you urge yourself to push off the wall.

He hears your movements, his wide eyes zeroing in on you and you step closer, so close that you can feel nerves radiating off of him in waves. Four days, you think to yourself, and you almost want to laugh. In four days, April 24th, was the official day that you met him, three years ago.

“You almost broke the ring.” He’s whispering now, your breaths intermingling as you lean closer to him. “It was in the jewelry box you sent crashing to the ground.”

You register his words with a solemn nod. Shawn’s sighing against you, placing his forehead against yours as he patiently awaits your answer.

“Well,” You lick your lips once, relishing in the sharp intake of breath that escapes him, “Good thing it’s not broken then. I think we’re going to be needing it.”

His mouth is on yours before you can blink, warm and familiar, and it’s like your body is set ablaze.

It feels as if you’re kissing for the first time. His lips are soft against yours and you’re aching for more. He’s careful with you, but it’s not the gentleness you need. Not after all this time.

Your hands are knotting in his hair before you can stop yourself, and he’s bending at the knees, pushing your back farther into the cool red brick wall. But you don’t care, he’s groaning softly against you, low in his throat and you’re finally home.

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sirsapling · 4 years

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MORE TAGGED POSTS

I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO.

I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle

Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.

A fresh Buzz cut

Talking to @bardingbeedle

Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates

Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.

Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor

top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)

favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.

white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.

favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.

how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.

(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)

favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly

favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.

pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.

favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)

your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.

favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.

the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.

favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs): Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories

Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.

Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909

Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Carol Danvers - Marvel 616

Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates

Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist

Martha Jones - Doctor Who

Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)

Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99

Ann Perkins - Parks and Rec

Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman

Pam Poovey - Archer

LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.

Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff

look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.

Fanfic trope meme

I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars and @crownofstardustandbone

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.

And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.

tagged by @bardingbeedle the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)

What is your favourite candy bar?

Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.

What is the last thing you said out loud?

‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.

Do you like your wallet?

Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin

What was the last thing you ate?

See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.

The last sporting event you watched?

F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad.

Ever go camping?

Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.

Do you take vitamins?

Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.

Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.

Do you have a tan?

I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.

What colour socks do you usually wear?

Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.

What terrifies you?

Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,

Look to your left, what do you see?

The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.

What chore do you hate?

Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

@s-hylor

What’s your favourite soda?

See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.

Who’s the last person you talked to?

@downeyhills

Favourite cut of beef?

I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.

Last song you listened to?

Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose

I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.

Last book you read?

Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud

Favourite day of the week?

Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can barely say it forwards.

How do you like your coffee?

With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.

Favourite pair of shoes?

I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).

The time you normally go to sleep?

9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.

The time you normally get up?

5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.

How many blankets on your bed?

One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.

Describe your kitchen plates

Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars

Do you play cards?

Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.

What colour is your car?

Again, I do not drive.

Can you change a tire?

I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.

How did you get your biggest scar?

I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park.

#text post #tagged in #wow long post #wow x2 #tag memes

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suaneio-blog · 4 years

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kayvsworld · 5 years

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hi i barely even go here anymore and i just woke up but mcu????????? is not......616. they dont get to do that. mcu and 616 are ENTIRELY different things and fuck them for trying it? mcu is not 616. mcu has not even tried to be 616. fight me, personally, in a tim hortons parking lot

#kayvswords

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mysteriouskod · 5 years

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TW: possible stalking, sexual(?) Harassment, harassment in general, toxic masculinity(? I guess), just.. it's about a creep.

So, I didnt really wanna post this. I really, really didnt, but I'm fighting off an anxiety attack right now.

As you guys may know, I've been with out a job since December 2017. I have only recently decided to go back to work, despite not fully feeling ready. I need money, I have goals, if I could bull my way through work at my worst point, I figured I could do it now.

Abou 2 to 3 weeks ago, when I first started working the night shift, I walked to work as per usual. I love walking. It's my favorite way to prepare for or unwind from something. I went to Tim Hortons, a Canadian Coffee shop that made it's way here in Buffalo, before my shift because I was an hour and a half early. After eating a donut, I back tracked to work cause it's less than a five minute walk. I sit on the bench and smoke a cigarette.

Then he approaches me.

Now, I'm from South Buffalo. It's a little neighborhood pretty much right outside the outer city(so like, the outer outer city. I'm a block or so up from where the city of Buffalo actually starts, I think.) I also went to college inside the city. I'm used to weird people from all walks of life.

But this guy felt different.

I took my head phones out to see what he wanted, assuming it was a cigarette. He was visibly drunk, and high off something. Again, nothing I'm not used to. He hung around for about 15 minutes. He spoke in a way that didnt make sense. HE knew what he was talking about, but it literally made no sense. He leaves, I write it off as nothing.

Until Thursday.

I go out for my break around 10, cause the last cashier wants to go hone early. No problem. I really dont give a shit. Like always, I scan the parking lot. Not a paranoia thing, more like a "am I gonna get in anyone's way/How many customers do we have rn" type deal. I sit on the bench.

As soon as I sit on the bench, he approaches me.

Hes high/drunk again.

He again tries giving me cigarettes, I again try declining. He asks my name. I panic and give him my chosen name, cause no one at work knows that name since I cant have my name tag have that name(i hate it but I'm honestly glad) This way, he goes in asking for a Kinsey, no one will know who hes talking about.

Hes so fucked up he cant even say it right.

He asks my age, I tell him 21 thinking "mayhaps thisll make him leave me alone".

His response: "score! I am too..... just add a few"

Now, the man is clearly 40(well, 39 as I learned later). I have no problem with this. I dont give a shit how old someone is. I'll talk to anyone in normally conversation. I am more attracted to people older than myself. If I click, I click.

But I dont know any one in that age group in their right mind who would respond that way. Sure, I do know people who are older and like younger(LEGAL) people, but the difference is they know how to fucking act and dont ducking harass people so that's not my problem here.

I'm legitimately scared.

He gets a phone call, makes a really weird comment about me. Is talking about me like he actually KNOWS me.

The moment he turns his back and walks the other way I run inside and tell the cashier who then tells our manager on duty.

Fast forward an hour.

He fucking comes in.

Theres 4 to 5 other people at my station cause it's the easy scan and the only thing open for people to cash out.

He doesnt really try talking to me.

I get an opportunity after he leaves to call my manager up to help customers, and let him know the guy came in. Gives me a very firm "if you need me, call me" with that like... I really dont know how to describe it. I know the look cause my guy friends have given it to me before. You know... that like protective "I got your back, I wont let anything happen to you" look. Says he will let the over night manager who will be there for the rest of my shift know.

Fast forward to roughly 1215ish, the last 30 minutes of my shift.

Like three people in my store.

He comes in.

Starts accosting me for lack of a better word. Making no sense.

Trying to buy me food. I politely decline. He gets mad at my excuses(that could have been legitimate) Goes on about how nice I am (IM FUCKING NICE TO EVERYONE) Moves to the other side of my stand podium thingy. Doesnt realize I specifically adjusted my stance to not give him an opening. Continues to try giving me food, that im nice, getting mad I'm rejecting him. I'm desperately trying to get him to leave me alone. Even pointing out I think hes too drunk and needs to go sit down which makes him more angry. I consider telling him about my boyfriend.

Then a Male customer (one of 3 people who came up in the time guy was there, whom I was desperately trying to signal via eye contact that I needed help) says bye to me, and I say bye back. You know, my job.

The RAGE in this man's eyes that I DARE give another man attention was staggering.

Cant tell him I have boyfriend, he may get violent.

He finally decides go go grab MORE beer. I call my manager up.

Manager stands next to me, and when guy gets to a scanner, tells me to go to the back.

I literally have to hold myself back from RUNNING.

My manager calls for the other guy on shift who was cleaning the meat room to have him tell me I can come up. I think he did it on purpose so a) guy wouldnt get my work name and b) guy would know theres another man on shift.

I didnt stop shaking until I went to bed that night.

I bought a knife.

I havent touched a knife in over two years for personal reasons.

The guy only approaches me when I'm alone. When it's dark.

No body tried to fucking help.

I'm scared to go to work now. I'm scared that if I take my break outside, like I always do, he will approach me. I'm afraid that he will see me get out of my moms car (or the vehicle of who ever drives me) and come in.

I am afraid and do not know what to do; I need this job.

#harassment mention #tw harassment #stalking #tw stalking #harassment cw #harassment #this is harassment

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sarakellar · 6 years

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burn the ships.

(we can rise up from the dust and walk away)

What would it take for you to do drugs? To deal drugs? Our culture, our world, is so merciless towards drug addicts, so lacking in compassion, that we seem to be forgetting the only thing that separates the sober from the user is circumstance.

You might have chosen not to do drugs, yes. But you know what you didn’t choose? Where you were born, who your parents were, the community you were raised in, the people who reached out to you—especially in times of desperation where you didn’t know where else to turn. Or, more than that—sometimes it really is the result of a mistake, of getting too deep before you realize you’re in over your head.

You think that people with addictions gladly hand themselves over to hell?

With so many things we perceive as societal evils, especially the “worst of the worst”, we like to pretend it isn’t a problem, and like it’s a faceless issue whenever it crops up. Comment sections fill with venom and vitriol, as if slandering the people who are enslaved to their addictions will get them to smarten up, to snap out of it.

Tell me—would you want to return to a community that treated you worse than dog shit they found on their shoe?

Don’t look away from me, not now. Look at the faces you trample into the mud for bringing their imperfection and mess into your perfect community.

Your method of shouting into the void is not working. Maybe it’s time to try something else.

Maybe it’s time to put on the work gloves, get into the muck and mire, and do the practical work of love.

It had been awhile since I’d gotten the nudge to go to Tim Hortons in the evening, so long that I thought I was imagining it. The sky was black as I pulled into the parking lot, and there was a familiar figure sitting outside.

A figure I know

A figure whose children call me, “Auntie.”

A figure I love.

And, for a moment, I found myself not wanting to engage with the mess—

That I even thought—

I got out of my car, trekked across the parking lot, and sat down on the sidewalk beside her.

Have you ever talked to a person struggling with addiction? Have you ever heard their troubles, their fears, their worries, their stories?

Then take a seat and listen.

She’s a shadow of what she once was, of what she could be again. She tells me, “You shouldn’t be here. He’s coming to pick me up.”

I’d heard all about him from other people, never from herself. She had seen him as dangerous as he could be—and was still offering me a way out. A way out of the path she’d made for herself. She didn’t think she was worth the trouble, maybe.

I didn’t move.

How do you defeat addiction?

I don’t know. Drug addiction is a road I’ve never had to walk. Here, however, is what I do know: unconditional love is the start of and the root of victory.

I sat with her for an hour, listening and talking and trying to gently encourage her to get out to stand. Eventually I showed her a picture I had taken of one of her children at church on Sunday. She started to cry, and then apologized for crying.

(do you really think they choose this hell?)

“We love you,” I said, over and over and over again, helpless to do anything else because what else could I do in that moment? Nothing, not with him coming. “And I don’t know how to help you right now, but I will love on your kids.”

A subtle urging to remember them, to remember what there was to fight for. She loves her kids more than her own life.

I’ll never forget the truck pulling up, how he leaned out the window looking at me warily before asking her if everything was alright. I stood with her but didn’t follow her off the sidewalk. Watching her go, hoping I had gotten through a little, chin tilted in defiance of the hold he had over her.

I know her, I try to tell him with my eyes. I know her, and I love her, and you do not get the final word in her life.

If unconditional love is the root of victory over addiction, a community coming around a person who is suffering, maybe what we need is less people on the outside of addiction building up walls to keep the addicts away, and more people tearing those walls down, fighting for every inch with their words and their actions, saying to addiction, “You don’t get the final word. Not if I have anything to say about it.”

#life #drugs #drug addiction #addiction #tw: drugs #tw: addiction #Christian #Christianity #faith #religion

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klinejack · 6 years

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i was tagged by @clarz - thank you for this! rules: answer questions given by the person who tagged you, write 11 new questions of your own, tag 11 people.

i’m gonna tag some people today cuz i worked hard on this and it took a long time...whoops. no pressure XD @wellsjahasghost @tylerstitties @runicscribbles @xproskeith @anomalagous @ginevraslovegood @quicklikelight @westhallen @lozenger8 @prudence-halliwell @malecbellarke

omg i’m sorry i just realized it’s really long. this is what happens when you take 2 days to answer a tag game. feel free to skip my answers and head to the new Qs if you want! or neither! love you <3

1. Do you find it frustrating that although you know how certain things “work” (for instance, how a love interest not calling you back automatically increases your interest), you can’t help but being drawn in? Can you give me an example? (For the record, this principle describes the entirety of my complicated one-sided relationship with one Harry Edward Styles.)

Yeeeeah i feel like most things in my life approach that level of frustration tbh. I have very little self control sometimes. I’m covered in a haze of addiction, and my impulse control/temper lives on a volatile little rickety branch in my brain where there’s always a lightning storm in the distance. Okay so what I mean is (and I’m not sure i really understand the question but I’m trying), I find it extremely frustrating that I am always aware of what the outcome will be and yet I constantly put myself in the position to be frustrated and/or disappointed by it. Did I get it? Like, if we’re talkin about celebrity obsessions, or having a crush on someone (which, yeah, I guess I kinda remember what that’s like irl), I suppose I’ve come to terms with that kind of distant admiration thing being divorced from reality- I mean, it’s been a life long struggle, so it doesn’t really get to me as much anymore. Usually. The “fangirl” in me is very, very young, and I don’t really know her anymore. If I’m talking about fighting my impulses or my mental health, or like, leaving earlier so I’m not late and then angry in traffic.... that’s a bit more frustrating. I will never leave early. Why? I don’t fucking know. And it’s the Worst. Idk if that fits with your question but yeah, I know how my behavior affects my mood and I could change it, but I don’t, and I can’t help it.

2. What is the longest book or series of books you’ve ever read? Were you at a loss when you finished? Do you generally like series or prefer stand-alone books?

The Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind! I love it so much. Haven’t read it in a long time, but that shit is like over 20 books and he’s still writing.. a legend. I was at a loss several times at the end of certain books that I thought were really gonna be the End, but then he made some like, spin off series a bit. So we’re good. Generally I love a good series, but there are so many stand alone books that I adore so.. I don’t know. Why am I writing so formally? This is tiresome, I’m gonna stop now. Stupid capital letters.

other series i love include everything in the tolkien universe, and of course harry potter, and also the percy jackson books. tolkien is pretty epic, to say the least, and rick riordan is fucking prolific, so hp is like, on the small side in terms of series (tho i did reread the last 2 at least a dozen times, and the audiobooks on many a long drive). also those motherfukcing maze runner books were like... there’s not that many of them, but that one i can definitely say left me at a loss. i’m still not ready to watch the last 2 movies but i hope to one day. for dylan.

3. Ever seen a therapist or gone to a support group? Did it help?

yup. i’ve seen quite a few therapists. i don’t think it’s helped in the long term, and i’m not sure it helped in the short, though there was a time i liked it because i was indulging my self analysis, but that for sure wasn’t helpful. i tried a couple cbt therapists thinking that could be a good way to go, but nothing ever really changed, so it’s hard to tell what’s going wrong- is it the therapy or is it me? idk i just think on the whole it’s got a negative color for me. i still see someone once every few weeks, but it’s a chore. this is really completely against everything i believe about therapy, btw, and i def considered becoming one when i was in university. i do think it’s beneficial, i guess just maybe not to me.

4. What is the longest road trip you’ve ever taken? Did you drive or were you just a passenger? What is your favorite road trip ritual, if you have any (the particular gas station snacks, the car games, the fights over music choices, the rest stops, etc.)?

oh my, well i’ve been on a few road trips in my life, but probably not as many as you americans do. the longest one was probably as a child, when i was about 3 or 4 my parents took us across the states, to the grand canyon (i don’t think we actually got there) in our mustard yellow vw bus. i had to be too small to remember but i definitely do (my dad’s a photographer so the boxes upon boxes of film helps): - sleeping on the ceiling in the bus like on a fucking shelf that stuck out above the driver seats. it was way too cool. - staying in a trailer park and walking over to this little building where there was some scary movie playing that had spinning wheels on fire (i think it was like some 80s horror version of rumpelstiltskin or something). i can literally picture a scene from it, just can’t really describe it. traumatizing. - playing on a beach somewhere (cape cod?) and having something nip at my little toes.

on other trips with friends we’ve shared the driving, but the most recent one from LA to vegas my friend wouldn’t let me touch the rental wheel. he thinks i’m a terrible driver. it was ok tho i got to take pictures instead.

i don’t really have a fave ritual since i don’t do much road “tripping” per se, but since i’ve lived in both toronto and new york i have done a shit ton of driving long distance, and i absolutely love it. my fave thing to do is make sure i have enough show tunes and stand up comedy on the playlist, and even some cds on back up, so i can lose my voice on the drive. usually i have some good ol’ tim horton’s french vanilla and a croissant on the side to keep me going, and if it’s long enough i usually stop somewhere for some french fries and/or a coke to wake up. god i love driving.

5. Which do you find increases more rapidly, your age or your idea of what age is old?

ugh. my age. i don’t feel old but that stupid time nonsense says otherwise. it needs to stop.

6. Do you talk to your animals when no one else is in the room? What do you say to them? Do you talk to animals you see on the street, at zoos, in your yard? How much of a face does an animal have to have to be talk-to-able? (For example, do rodents count? Birds? Fish? Cockroaches? WHERE’S THE LINE)

absolutely. i talk to pretty much fucking everything, animals or otherwise, i don’t care who’s in the room. there is no line. the line does not exist.

7. If they cooked, which dish of your mom’s/dad’s/parental figure is or was your favorite? Which was your least favorite? Do you often cook dishes your parents used to make for you for yourself now, as an adult?

welllllll my parents do cook, but over the years i came to really dislike a lot of my mom’s cooking.. habits, lets say. my dad is great on the bbq, and with all meats, but my mom is usually the organizer and most often the chef. her staples are chicken and brisket, sometimes salmon, in various ways. the problem is i’ve always been a picky eater, and tho my own tastes have branched out, my mom still thinks she needs to cook everything super plain and sometimes it’s kinda gross. like, she’ll make some fancy chicken for everyone else and throw a boneless breast covered in teriyaki sauce in a casserole in the oven for me. it does NOT taste good. but she can make a really great schnitzel, and brisket is hard to do wrong. i don’t make anything for myself the way she does it really, but my eating/cooking habits are all wonky anyway.

8. Do you ever check your voicemail? Do you answer calls from numbers you don’t have programmed into your phone?

i check it if someone left a message, why wouldn’t you? what if it’s an emergency? in fact, my best friend does not. so i guess.. that’s a thing. i for sure do not answer any call that doesn’t show a name that i recognize- even then it’s a stretch. i have to really want/need to talk to you, otherwise it’s gonna be on my terms. my phone and i have a hate-hate relationship.

9. How often do you go to the grocery store? Are you good at it? Do you have any kind of strategy or list prepared beforehand?

i go when i run out of something i wanna eat; my store is right on the corner. i basically just do the curve around the breads/fruits/veggies if i need it, then head to the aisles which i skim from the back where the frozen/refrigerated stuff is, poking in to the aisles i need to grab the shit i’ve run out of. i eat pretty much the same way most of the time so my list is in my head (which is not always a good place, but i try hard. if i forget something i go back for it next time).

10. Do movies frequently make you cry? Do you find you’re more likely to cry in the theater or at home? When people are around or by yourself?

oh hell yes. if they’re good or i’m in a mood. i don’t think it matters much where i am if it’s public or private, the cry will come if the moment is right, and i could give no shits XD

11. Have you ever seen the sun rise? Did you kind of like the weird, slightly chilly liminal space of it, or did you just wish you were still in bed?

yes i have, in so many different contexts. mostly i watch it rise because i stay up That Late most of the time (except this time of year, i haven’t seen it in a good while), wishing my ass was finally in bed going “fuck. there’s the sun again. way to go me.” but i’ve also experienced that first bit. out in the desert after a 16k hike, sweat pouring off my skin and fire burning on the surface, hissing it away. standing on top of an ancient mountain facing the dead sea, limbs aching from climbing it with the sun racing at our backs, trying to get to the top before we missed it rise. ya. sunsets are pretty, too.

so how am i supposed to think of 11 questions?? i hope none of these are from some post i saw one time, i’m gonna try to be original without rambling too much:

1- if you could go back to one major decision you made that impacted the path of your life and change it, would you? what was it? how do you think your life would be different? or don’t answer those second two questions, if you don’t want to.

2- in what direction does your belief lean (like, you don’t have to agree with my description of it, but what fits your image best):

a single/multiple divine power that controls every facet of our existence (or like, any traditional religious worldview), with or without free will?

a harmonious interconnected universal complex that directs matter and energy but is affected by our existence in said universe?

everything is just a series of random events passing through time and everything that happens, everything we do, makes the next thing happen, but it could have happened any other way as well.

do these things make sense? idk try and figure it out.

3- on that topic, what do you think happens when we die? do we go to heaven/hell or some other religious construct? do we have a soul that sticks around? reincarnation? do we just... end, and decompose, and that’s it? what do you really think? are you afraid to find out you were wrong?

4- tell me about a moment in a movie or a show that made you go all tingly inside, like, that really special tingle, and every time you see it you get those feelings again.

5- what’s your go-to method for letting out stress?

6- what are 3 of your favorite words (english or otherwise)? why do you love them? the way they sound? the way they look? what they mean? (i usually would answer this based on sound, kinda like fave color, just a feeling).

7- this isn’t so original but i wanna know- if you could live in any other period of time, in any part of the world, what would it be and why? or would you even? would you if you could choose your station/place in society?

8- is there anything you’ve ever done or ever happened to you that you absolutely never ever could ever tell anyone about? not even your soulmate or someone who would never judge you? if so, does it bother you, or do you have it tucked away in your mind and never think about it?

9- which teen wolf cast member would you get along with best? not who would you like to be in a relationship with, but who do you think you’d have the best relationship with (romantic/platonic/otherwise)? if you don’t think you know any of them well enough... which one would you bone? boooooooooone all night long?

10- do you have a talent/skill that you feel is really underrated or underused by you or others? is there something you’re really proud of but have nobody to brag to about it because nobody you know really cares at all? brag to me.

11- do you think it’s truly possible to be happy if you never have a significant other(s) for the rest of your life? could you ever be?

THAT’S ALL FOLKS. wow i can’t believe i wrote all of that shit and you read it. way to go us. thanks again, clara!

#clarz #tagging games #personal #personal info #food mention cw #death mention cw #i can't believe how much i just fucking wrote imean.....#sorry

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soldier-poet-king · 7 years

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the most pretentious jerkface I have ever had the misfortune to meet is in my advanced latin class (it’s a combined undergrad and graduate class) and Lord help me to pray for him bc right now all i wanna do is fight him in the tim hortons parking lot

#Lord help me #pray for me yall #in all seriousness bc i can already see myself either crying or getting into a nasty argument with him #i wont describe him bc i know i'll just be uncharitable and unkind #but oh he just makes my blood boil and i've known him for 2 hours!!!!#apparently he has that effect on most people tho

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atlanticcanada · 4 years

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N.S. identifies 29 new cases of COVID-19, largest single day total

Nova Scotia has identified 29 new cases of COVID-19, the largest single day total in the Maritimes so far, bringing the province's total to 236.

The 236 cases range in age from under 10 to over 80. The province is reporting 50 people have recovered, which is a 29 person increase from Friday's report of 21 patients recovered. Four people are currently in hospital.

The province released the updated information in a news release Saturday. They will not be holding a news conference on Saturday, but Premier Stephen McNeil and Dr. Robert Strang, N.S. chief medical officer of health will be providing an update on Sunday at 3 p.m.

The breakdown of cases per zone is as follows:

154 cases in Central N.S.

35 cases in Western N.S.

24 cases in Northern N.S.

23 cases in Eastern N.S.

8,964 people have tested negative for COVID-19.

The latest increase comes the day after Premier Stephen McNeil had strong words for Nova Scotians who are not following the rules and restrictions in place as the province fights the spread of COVID-19.

“I’m not trying to scare you, but part of me wishes you were scared. This is serious and another weekend is upon us. I am so tired of hearing of grocery stores, Walmart, Tim Hortons parking lots filled with cars, as if we are not in the midst of a deadly pandemic. We are,” said a noticeably frustrated McNeil during a news conference in Halifax.

“To the reckless and selfish, I’m talking to you.”

Nova Scotia declared a state of emergency last month in an effort to prevent the spread of COVID-19. Residents are being urged to stay home as much as possible and to stick to their communities when walking or biking for exercise.

Many businesses are closed, along with all provincial parks and beaches. Essential social gatherings must be limited to five people and residents must practise physical-distancing.

McNeil noted many Nova Scotians are abiding by those rules, but he said too many are not, and he’s losing his patience.

“The virus will find you. Then it finds your loved ones. And then it finds your neighbourhoods. And then we have community spread,” said an angry McNeil.

“And then everyone is putting pressure on the public health to solve it, our healthcare system to deal with it, and government to pay for it, when all we have to do is stay the blazes home.”

This is a developing story, more to come.

from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/2xQkLZu

#new brunswick #prince edward island #nova scotia #news #politics #canada #CTVAtlantic

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anonymoususername123 · 4 years

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Dating in Toronto

In this world of hookup culture we are forgetting who we are.

It’s December of 2019. The year is coming to an end, in fact the decade is coming to an end. In my generation of millennials I think we’re called, ( I’m 32 ), we either have been involved or know someone that’s been involved in the hookup culture that is currently taking over the world.

Gone are the days of loyalty, trust, commitment, and love.

(Edit: Actually that’s not true. It’s been pointed out to me by some friends, and I already knew this too, that there ARE some people in committed, loving, trusting, healthy relationships. I mean romantic ones. Because I have all of the above mentioned things going on with friend relationships. I have just yet to find it in a ROMANTIC way.... I’d like to say I have SOME hope though... anyways read on to get why I’m so jaded)

Although I know the older and last generations have had their share of breakups and divorces, cheating and scandals, side chicks, alimony, and child support.

These tragedies aren’t new.

What is new and still continuing and evolving is the ever present hookup culture.

You can download an app or two, or three, four, fuck there’s so many who can even keep count.

The point is you can download an app, set your preference, and boom by 11pm that night you’re fucking someone you just met, on an app, literally hours before.

You don’t know them and they don’t know you. You go for coffee, but it’s not really coffee. It’s them picking you up, grabbing a hot chocolate at 10:30pm at night, and going for a drive in their car ( this has happened to me many a times). You then realize ah shit I fucked up, I’m stuck in a strangers car, who is now chain smoking for whatever reason, and then you go park in a deserted parking lot, to sit and get to know each other and make small talk.

Now I know most of you are thinking no way, this can’t be real, who stoops to that level of getting a Tim Hortons hot chocolate between 10:30-11pm at night with a total stranger to then go sit in their car and hope to God they don’t murder you.

But this is real life.

I’ve used Tinder, POF, OkCupid. I downloaded Bumble & Hinge and deleted immediately. I also think I tried something called “Happn” which I also deleted.

I’ve made an account on Seeking Arrangements just for the hell of it ( fuck I really hope I deleted my account oh man). I’ve joined Match for its like one month gig. I’ve joined Christian Mingle YEARS ago only to talk to some horny Italian guy that clearly was on the right site ( insert my VERY DISTINCT sarcasm please.)

It’s interesting because

You lose yourself in it all.

Somewhere someway somehow you allow people into your life you never in a million years think you would. You say and do shit you never thought you would.

You tolerate the weirdest and strangest shit.

Not once but at least.... four times I’ve been picked up by a guy in his car just to drive around, go park, talk, and then they wanna have sex.

I was once, no twice, master manipulated into having sex with a guy I suspect was married, in his van. It was scary. Horrifying. Terrifying. I went against my gut instinct. I went against my vibes. I’ve put myself in quite dangerous and scary situations.

I’ve let men into my life, into my body, I absolutely should never in my life have done so.

I can’t blame my daddy issues, my daddy issues are maybe the root of my issues with men. But my behaviour is something I have to own up to. My patterns, my habits, my inability to catch the players and walk away, block, delete, sooner than meeting up with them, that is on me.

So here I am now just reflecting back on this decade. In this decade I started it off dating someone that was toxic, unwell, borderline abusive. It never starts that way, and then next thing you know I ended up in a psych ward cause I tried to kill myself. The psychiatrist then tells you that one day the memories will fade away until they’re all gone. And it’s true. And he was one of the best psychiatrists I’ve ever met. And I cried when I heard he’s taking a sabbatical to work on something else. All the while knowing this is life. I’m sick. I’ll get better. And this was years ago.

And I slowly get better after that.

But I start using the dating apps. I’m single and vulnerable. I’m a social work student. I’m doing my placement, I’m going through school. I start working at a movie theatre.

My attachment issues, my mental health issues, my DADDY ISSUES, I don’t wanna deal with them. I know I have to. Maybe they’ll go away.

I had previously gotten clean, off drugs and alcohol. So I keep going to meetings.. NA meetings.. at one point I get a sponsor I start step work, I give up, not because I didn’t want to work on my recovery... I just stop using that sponsor. No hard feelings.

Fast forward to now. December 2019. For the last seven years of being single I’ve fucked countless guys... I’ve gone on some weird ass dates and some OK dates. I’ve tried to be non judgemental... I’ve been judgemental... people are... fucked lol.

I fucked a Ryan Gosling lookalike.

A guy I went to high school with.

Many other guys who shall remain nameless. Security guards, guys from NA, guys I met online. Boys boys boys boys.

I’ve gotten attached. I’ve cried, obsessed, blocked and unblocked so many times I have driven myself absolutely insane.

I was taken advantage of. In a van. I blocked that guy by the way... fairly sure he’s a predator... like I said.. some scary scary shit!

I’ve been reckless, not safe enough.

I’ve invited guys over. I’ve had one night stands. I’ve probably broken hearts, I’ve had my heart broken.

Then I meet a couple guys over the last year. One stood out. He was SO good looking in my eyes.. but SO unwell. I dropped every standard known to mankind and hooked up with him. He was F U C K E D up. We eventually end things.. stop talking or seeing each other. In Feb 2019 we randomly see each other ( after having first met each other in March/April 2018) on the subway, he comes over, we fuck. I never hear from him again. I see him on the subway platform a couple weeks later holding hands with a girl. We spot each other. I’m almost near the end of the platform. So he moves to the left, towards more of the centre. The train comes and we all get on. I’m fuming. Raging. I start voicenoting my friends, yelling loudly so he can hear me.. he’s further down the train than where I am. “THIS FUCKING GUY, I JUST FUCKED HIM AND HERE HE IS WITH A NEW GIRL, HOLDING HER HAND, THIS IS MADNESS”.

People are staring. I look crazy. We get off at the same stop. During the train ride They FOR SURE could hear me but they had their heads down, they’re talking, holding hands, ignoring the crazy bitch yelling into her phone about some guy she fucked that has the AUDCITY to board her train with a new girlfriend. Once we all get off, they’re up ahead of me and I eventually lose them. I call my mom and I’m SCREAMING into the phone. But.. who even cares? All that anger, rage & resentment, for what? We weren’t close. Or dating. I was nothing to him. When all I want is to be something to someone.

Basically... I’m sick of this shit. Sick of being nothing to no one. Just a sexual object, most likely a side chick, no trust or respect.

Some have taken me on proper dates.

Dinner. Movies.

Dinner.

Coffee shop.

But the mass majority have been flimsy, stupid, regrettable, one night stands that require more work on my part- I have laundry I end up having to do the next day... mixed with trying to wash all the shame and guilt off of me from my poor choices from the previous night.

It’s like we’ve become transactions with each other.

Some guy I just fucked last night was all “Oh no, I REALLY wanna get to know you, you’re one of the hottest girls on POF right now”

Buddy you don’t wanna get to know me you want to get to know my vagina. PUSSY. You wanna say HIIIIIIIII and REALLY get to know not me as a person but me as my VAGINA.

And it’s like SERIOUSLY?

Why can’t we be straightforward. Why do we lie.. to ourselves.. and each other.. it’s like I’ve convinced myself I’m either not worthy of love and respect or I’ve just given up on it as if it doesn’t exist anymore.

Siblings that are older.. all divorced or about to be. A couple still together. But one pair fights and fights and fights.

Is that love? Is that respect? Is that what a relationship is now? Still?

We can order food, products, and people to our door within a matter of minutes but at what cost?

You’re not paying me for sex but should you be?

I’ve often thought maybe I should dabble in being an escort. I’d get paid. And have sex. Because what’s the difference in what I’m doing besides absolutely nothing except that I’m not getting paid and sex workers are.

I’m having meaningless, pointless, regrettable sex that is oftentimes worth the orgasm but not the emotional turmoil I put myself through after.

I’ve definitely used sex the way I once upon a time used drugs and alcohol. I HATE admiting I’m a sex addict. I don’t crave it.. I don’t NEED it. But I do it anyways. When I’m sad, depressed, stressed. I want sex. I don’t want the guy or the drama or stress or relationship. I wanna exert my feminine power and fuck you til we both orgasm.

But... it doesn’t always work out that way. I may use guys for sex.. but they use me right back lol.

I have to delete the memories from my head and keep moving forward.

I met a guy this summer. At a Tim Hortons. There were vibes lol.

I could tell he was a player, manipulative. We exchanged numbers. To this day ( six months later ) we still chat. He left the city for months and is now back.

He’s put me down, about my faith & beliefs, my career, and just me as a person. He’s pissed me off and I’ve told him off. I’ve blocked and unblocked him so many times over the last few months, even without seeing him in person, only to unblock and message him again. He’s rude, narcissistic, a fucking prick. He doesn’t think, honestly, of literally anyone else except him and his daughter. He makes excuses and has stories for days. He’s been so rude to me so many times and yet I STILLLL wanna talk to him. I STILL want him to like me, want me, date me. Treat me nicer than he’s treated me.. actually talk to me with respect. Not lead me on leave me on read for hours at end to just come back around when he feels like it.

But, here I am, entertaining this fucking douche bag because I’m bored, lonely, depressed.

My dad just died. A month and a half ago. I know, you’re probably thinking Jesus, this girls life is DRAMA! It is. I’ll end this blog post here, for now, and finish all the rest of my stories later.

With my Dad passing its opened me up again. Made me a bit a softer. More self aware. More in tune with my emotions and what the fuck I want, what the fuck I’m doing. Everyone’s always told me how to act and what to do my whole Life, or at least that’s how it’s felt ( even though it’s not exactly true).

These experiences shape you, mould you, change you from the inside out.

I’ll get rid of all these fuckboys.

Everyone says oh just wait, the right person will come along. But will they? Will they really? Where’s the stats and proof and logistics of it? I mean sure I live in a big huge city so I will definitely meet SOMEONE one day but how? Where? Why are we told to just have blind faith this will happen.

Whoever made up that saying and these expressions and thought pattern is a fucking moron. We date and fuck who we either meet in person or meet online. There’s really no in between. But meeting people in person.. who, what, where, when, and how?

I’ll get back to you guys on all the rest of my wild life and stories and thoughts.

Blessings to all for now,

Anonymous Dater in Toronto

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thelastifntdragonrider · 6 years

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HI! I’m putting all of the things i’ve been tagged in from the past couple of weeks that i haven’t answered yet bc i’m working hard on an admission portfolio for university and i really want to get into Sheridan, so yep lots of work and lots of art. i am also working on the HTTYD fandom reading (please sign up) and the next chapters of J’Imagine and No Cannon Shall Sink This Ship. Anyways, onto the tagged:

get to know me meme: tagged by @animalsarepeople2 thank youuuu!

nicknames: Kei / Keiko *i explain this in a question down there somewhere

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Libra

MBTI Type: INFJ

Height: 163cm

Time: 17:07 (by the time I finished all of these it’s 18:36)

Birthday: February 25

Favourite Bands: Beatles, Young Rising Sons, Clean Bandits, Lovelyz, Infinite

Favourite Solo Artists: Ailee, Ed Sheeran

Song Stuck in My Head: 1cm by Lovelyz

Last Movie Watched: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp

Last Show Watched: I just binge watched Stranger Things

When I created my blog: July 15, 2013/June 27, 2017

What I post about: httyd, animated movies, animation

Last thing I Googled: information about Sheridan and character rotation

Other blogs I have: my main blog @tokkeiko

Following: 100, though I want to find more good blogs, any recs anyone?

Followers: in total from both blogs, 200 or something

Favourite colour: Green

Average hours of sleep: 8-ish

Lucky number: 7

Instruments: piano, oboe

What I’m wearing: jeans and my current favourite sweater which is grey with gold spots

Number of blankets: I need to remember to find another one bc my room is freezing when I wake up in the morning

Dream Job: story artist at Disney

Dream trip: i just want to get out of my city rn

Favourite food: i’m just hungry rn, give me anything, but favourite food, among others, is salted caramel truffle blizzard from the good old DQ (#lovemydq)

Music ask, tagged by @yv-sketches THANKS!!!!

10 songs that you are listening to right now;

my current favourite playlist is called Shut Up and Dance:

“Elle Me Dit” Mika

“Red Balloon” Charli XCX

“Dancing in the Dark” Rihanna

“Shut Up and Dance” Walk the Moon

“Red and Gold” Young Rising Sons

“Can’t Stop the Feeling” Justin Timberlake

“Better When I’m Dancing” Meghan Trainor

“I Bet My Life” Imagine Dragons

“Into a Fantasy” Alexander Rybak

“Get Back Up Again” Anna Kendrick

Tag Game, taggged by @thepurplewriter333 ty friend-o!

Nicknames: Keiko/Kei/Spirit/Sweet Potato

Gender: Female

Star Sign; Pisces

Height: 163cm

Sexuality: probably straight

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff!!!

Favourite animals: uhhhh... orcas probably

Average hours spent sleeping: 8 i think, i’m not bothering with math rn

Dogs or cats: KITTY, all of my sibilings have a significant other and all of their significant others’ have cats and why can’t I have a s/o with a cat???

number of blankets sleeping: during the winter, aka now already, two

Dream trip: geeeeetttt meeeee ouuuuttt offf thissss citttyyyyy

Dream job: Story artist at Disney

when I made this account: June 27. 2017

why I made this account: bc i wanted a place to reblog all of the httyd stuff without loosing followers on my other blog

# of followers: like 47, I think? I recently got more. follow me i am cool person

92 statements, tagged by @thepurplewriter333 thanks for the double tag!

Last:

Drink: Tim Hortons’ Double Double (got to stay caffeinatedddddddd)

Phone Call: Home to get a ride home

Text message: Friend to go hang out later

Song You Listened To: Shooting Star by Lovelyz

Time You Cried: uhhhhhhhh... oh, like a month ago, it was a bad week and then I watched Home and my emotions were already out of wack so I basically sobbed near the end

Have you:

Dated someone twice: Nope

Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope, i’m boring

Been cheated on: nope

Lost someone special: nope

Been depressed: i feel like it’s hard to be a university student and not get depressed

Gotten drunk and thrown up: i am a boring party person and yeah, no i haven’t

List 3 favourite colours:

Green

Blue

Gold

In the last year have you:

made new friends: Yeahhhh

fallen out of love: nopppeee...?

Laughed until you cried: like every other day

Found someone was talking about you: in a good way; nope. In a bad way: yeah too many times

found out who your friends are: yeahhhhhh

kissed someone on your FB list: okay someday, i’ll have more interesting answers

General:

how many FB friends do you know IRL: 99% of them

Do you have any pets: nope

Do you want to change your name: i recently thought about dropping my middle name, but like it has significance to my parents so probably won’t happen and my middle name doesn’t do anything so idk

what did you do for your last birthday: Keep in mind that I turned 18: my friends and I went to Build-A-Bear and they got me a Build-A-Bear Toothless.

What time do you wake up: my alarms on early days are 7:00, 7:05, 7:15, 7:25, 7:35, 7:45, 8:00. I naturally wake up at 9-ish

What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping :D

Name something you can’t wait for: to (hopefully) get accepted into Sheridan and start a new adventure out there.

When was the last time you saw your mom: she’s in the kitchen with me

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish that I could’ve figured out what I wanted to do with life so that I could’ve started Sheridan this year

What are you listening to right now: Sheridan portfolio reviews, tips, etc. (Starting to see a pattern here?)

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: friend’s dad. he’s a cool dad.

Something that is getting on your nerves: when people are packing up their stuff before the professor is finished talking in the last 5 minutes of class. URGH stop moving ppl this stuff is important

Most visited website: FB, YT, tumblr

Mole(s): couple

Mark(s): I have freckles (might be moles) on each cheek under both eyes.

Childhood dream: when you’re a kid, you’re really only exposed to teacher, doctor, police man and whatever your parents are. I think I defaulted to an artist when adults asked.

Hair colour: black, I have silver hairs though, they stick out on the black hair a lot

long or short hair: I always grow my hair out and then cut off 12 inches to donate to cancer wigs

Do you have a crush on someone: not currently, though i had a crush on a guy for like 5 years, so even now, 5 years later, I get happy when I think about him

Piercings: no, i really think a conch piercing would be nice though

Blood type: ... A I think, i’ve never gotten tested, but according to genetics, I should be an A

Nicknames: my full name is Keiko, but everyone called me Kei as a kid, but during high school, I started introducing myself as Keiko, so some people call me Kei, some people call me Keiko, one of them is a nickname, depending on which way you think about it,

Relationship Status: Egg salad.

Zodiac: Pisces

Pronouns: She/her

Favourite TV show: Friends

Right or left handed: Right, but recently I’ve been trying to teach myself to draw with my left hand

Surgery: Wisdom teeth

Hair dyed a different colour: nope, but I think I might try a ombre some day

Sports: ballet since I was 4ish, ballet is a sport, come fight me on it if you dare

Vacation: a lot of camping when I was younger, I’ve been to Japan twice, and then places across Canada

Pair of trainers: are we talking about trainers as in shoes? bc then ankle high all black vans.

More General:

Eating: this is taking so long I stopped and had supper between these sections

Drinking: Double Double (Tim’s coffee, two creams, two sugars), gotta stay AWaaaaaaaaaaKE

I’m about to: draw character designs or go out to coffee shop to study with friends

Want: to get into Sheridan so so so so so badly

Get married: I’m still single, want to put my career first, so yep not for a little while

Career: i’m a cake decorator rn, see my cakes on my insta @tanakeiart

Hugs or Kisses: hUG mE

Lips or eyes: Eyes, (though I am supper bad at making eye contact)

Shorter or taller: would be nice to be slightly taller...

Older or younger: like to date or something? I think high school rule is a good rule, but rn looking at niners mAN they are tiny

Nice arms or stomach: arms to hug meeeeee

Sensitive or loud: i think I would need a loud person to compliment me

Hook up or relationship: relationship bc you have a standing plus one to everything and rn being single I have to text like 5 friends to find someone to go with me to something

Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

Have you ever:

kissed a stranger: Nope

Drank hard liquor: I only have like four months until my 19th so like i’ll go drinking then

Lost Glasses/contact lenses: funny story: family and i were in Japan and we were at Kinkaku-ji and then i realize that one of my eyes have gone fuzzy, so thinking that there is something on the lens, i take my glasses off and my lens had fallen out of the frame. my family literally crawled around trying to find my lost lens, we did find it, but we couldn’t find a small screw that would hold the lens in. my dad fixed it with a twist tie.

turned someone down: nobody likes me so nobody has asked me so i have never turned someone down

broken someone’s heart: no

had your heart broken: yeah, by a friend. It is shATTERing

been arrested: not even a parking ticket in my name

cried when someone died: no, i am some kind of emotionless egg

fallen for a friend: my heart easily leaps and often trips falls and gets lost

Do you believe in:

yourself: yes, I believe that I can get in, I believe that I can be what I want to be.

Miracles: I believe in karma more than miracles

Love at first sight: yes, but not in the way that media portrays it

Santa claus: nah

Kiss on the first date: this is weirdly phrased.

other:

current best friend name: becky

Eye colour: brown

Favourite movie: the other day i was procrastinating and made an official list of favourite movies, which still has a lot of ties: 1/2: httyd 1/2, 3/4: moana, big hero 6, 5/6/7: wreck it ralph, tangled, rise of the guardians, 8/9/10: back to the future 1-3

wow that took a lot of time, but thanks for tagging me! I’m tagging @thepurplewriter333 @yv-sketches and @animalsarepeople2 on the ones that you didn’t tag me in! also tagging @katlikespie @crazilexa and @fading-shadows for whichever one/s you want to do!

#long post #but i really didn't want to make four seperate posts #replies #keiko talks to thin air

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thebestintoronto · 5 years

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15 Things Nobody Tells You About Visiting Toronto

Visiting Toronto is an easy decision. Just book your flight, arrive in the city, and start exploring. You may read other articles and guidebooks on famous sites worth visiting and interesting activities, and you cannot be more excited about your trip. However, there are things that these travel guides may not tell you before you get here.

As someone who lived in Toronto for three years, I wish that these insider travel tips can help you avoid some of the mistakes and make the most out of your Toronto trip.

The popular attractions like the CN Tower, Aquarium, Zoos, Dundas Square, and St Lawrence Market are not the end of all

Most people come to Toronto only to visit these popular places, but Toronto has so much to offer, including ethnic neighborhoods, and other areas including North and East York, Annex, Scarborough, and Etobicoke.

I cannot count that how many times people have told me that they have been to Toronto and that they have hit the local spots and only been to places like St Lawrence, CN Tower, Kensington Market, and Casa Loma, but in reality, CN Tower is too expensive for locals to visit.

TTC in Toronto has extensive coverage but is not always efficient

TTC, also known as the Toronto Transit Commission, is an extensive public transit network taking you everywhere in Toronto, and the route is surprisingly easy to figure out. The subway runs daily from 6 am (except 8 am on Sundays) to midnight, as well as the bus, while the streetcar operates 24 hours daily.

If you decide to take the TTC for a few days, getting a Pesto Card is always worth it. You can use it for the Greater Toronto Area and keep it for the return trip as well.

However, the TTC, especially Line 1, is crowded during rush hours and the wait is long. Constructions and upgrades are a weekly occurrence. Once they take place, part of the subway stops running and you have to take the bus instead, which is a nightmare.

You cannot hail a taxi from the street

In some cities like New York, you can just flag down a taxi from the street. You get a taxi if you do it this way in Toronto.

Generally, you need to call a taxi company and ask them to dispatch you a cab. For this, you need to give them your address, your name, and the major intersection you are at. As cabs are expensive and the wait takes a while, it would be better to just take public transport or Uber.

Should you drive around Toronto? The answer is no.

Unless you do not mind the traffic and the expensive cost of parking, I do not recommend that you drive around Toronto and park in the city center.

If you plan to drive into Toronto, your best option is to find a parking lot near your hotel, the subway or the train station and take public transport from there. My friends in Toronto always do this. They live on the east end. They usually park their cars in Kennedy and Ellesmere station and take the subway to downtown.

Do not walk everywhere

I have seen lots of my travel friends do this, and I do not recommend it. Toronto is huge and it takes a while to get around, so I strongly suggest that you take advantage of the public transport.

Although you may think that walking can save you money and you can see lots of interesting neighborhoods, your feet will protest after your first day. In addition, we only have a short few months of acceptable weather, and you do not want to walk for hours under -20 degrees Celsius in the winter or 30 degrees in the summer.

You can plan out your travel by walking to nearby attractions and taking the TTC from there to the next point of interest. You can always get a transfer on the bus. If you use a Pesto Card, you will not get charged extra within two hours of hopping on another public transit.

There is lots of delicious food and bars in Toronto, and you do not always have to go to chain restaurants and Kensington market for them

Toronto has lots of excellent eateries; the bars, cafes, and pubs are endless, and you can find them on every corner. If you want to eat ethnic food, there are several China towns, a Greek town, Japanese town, Korean towns, little India, little Italy, and Portuguese town. Local eateries usually feature typical Western food like pizza, meat dishes, seafood and sandwiches, burgers, and poutine. Vegan restaurants are also endless.

If you want to eat specific food, you can always find a restaurant that suits your appetite, so just take your time to research and ask around.

And Tim Hortons are not listed here because it is too popular and everyone visiting Canada should visit it at least once. Simply go to the counter and order a double-double coffee and tea, and try their Timbits.

Do not waste money on the CN Tower for a view

There are so many better places in Toronto offering panoramic views of the skyline and they are free, so do not feel the need to go all the way up to the CN Tower in order to complete your Toronto trip.

For views, I recommend Riverdale Park and Chester Hill Lookout. These two are lesser-known ones where you can go for free and stay there as long as you want. Planet Traveler Hostel also has a patio offering the gorgeous view of Toronto city center.

Be sure to know the difference between Toronto and the GTA (Greater Toronto Area)

Planning a visit Toronto and ending up flying into Hamilton Airport is something I have seen happen. Toronto can be defined in two terms; the city of Toronto and the GTA. The latter consists of the city of Toronto and its 25 surrounding municipalities.

If you plan to stay in the city of Toronto, meet your friends or visit a specific place, make sure that the hotel address and the meeting point is in the city of Toronto, not just the GTA. Otherwise, you may spend hours on commuting, changing public transit, and wonder why it takes so long to get there.

Accommodations in Toronto is expensive but that does not mean you cannot travel on a budget

A trip to Toronto does not have to be expensive, but you need to research ahead and find budget-friendly places to stay, know which places you can visit for free, and learn to navigate public transit. Hostels are usually above $35 per night, and there are options of Airbnb. Couchsurfing can be a hit or miss; there are people have great experiences and others have negative reviews.

If you do not mind staying at hostels and sharing a room with others, you can stay at Planet Travelers Hostel for $47 per night, The hostel offers a central location and breakfast until 1 pm (yes you can have both breakfast and lunch there). You can also save lots of money visiting budget-friendly restaurants and purchasing at supermarkets and cooking your own meals.

The best part of Toronto is that there are always free activities you can join, like walking around High Park, free walking tours, taking a peek at graffiti alley, pillow fights, and visiting free museums.

Toronto is tough for expats and new immigrants

Toronto is not a heaven for expats and immigrants. I love Toronto, but I have also experienced struggles in the job market and turbulence in settling down during my first few years here.

Even after living in the USA for four years and having a Canadian university degree, I am still shocked at how tough it is and how long it takes to find a decent job. The most common advice you will hear is that to be able to survive on the job market, Canadian work experience is crucial, so employers will dismiss decades of your valuable overseas work experience and offer you shitty pay because you have not worked in Canada.

I am not alone here. Most of my friends are either freelancing, struggling to get a job, or changing jobs and moving places every two to three years. Living in the city is pretty rough because of high rent.

Canada is open to immigration and welcomes people from all nationalities, but it does not mean that you can just arrive in Toronto and have guaranteed financial stability.

Not all people in Toronto are rude

A lot of people I met in outer provinces told me that people in Toronto can be rude and cold, but like anywhere, you will meet nice people and some nasty ones.

After living in Toronto for a few years, I can say that people here will not go overboard to talk to strangers, but they will help you and talk to you about the city when they have a chance. If you are asking for directions, make sure to avoid people that look busy or on their phones. Ask someone working at a store, at the bus or subway station, and be gentle and you will find that they are always happy to help.

If you plan a short trip out of Toronto, Niagara Falls is not the only place to be

As heavily as Niagara Falls is marketed in the guidebooks, there are still lots of great places outside Toronto worth a day trip. If you are into natural landscapes, you can visit Algonquin National Park, the Blue Mountains, and Thousand Islands. If you are into culture and festivities, Kitchener and Stratford are good places to go for Oktoberfest, the Christmas celebration, and the Shakespeare festival. There are wineries and lavender farms in Prince Edward County that await your visit also.

Give yourself enough time at Union Station

I think of Union Station as a labyrinth as it has countless platforms with Go Train, VIA Rail, buses, and subways that are all crowded into one place. If this is not a problem, then the station itself always being under construction will make first-timers confused as to where to go.

Getting lost at Union Station is not usual. Even if you live in Toronto and GTA, you will constantly find that navigating Union Station is tricky.

If you plan to take the train from Union Station, make sure to arrive there early to navigate the place. If you are not sure where your train platform is, follow the signs and ask around if you need assistance with directions.

You need to clear US immigration at the Toronto Pearson Airport

If you plan on flying onwards to the USA from Pearson Airport, be sure to arrive there early so you have ample time to pass through USA immigration. When you arrive in the USA, it will be as if you just arrived from a domestic flight.

Alcohol sale is government regulated.

This rule does not only apply to Toronto but to all of Ontario. You can only purchase alcohol legally through government-licenced stores like LCBO, the Beer Store, and licensed grocery stores. If it is your first time in the city, take note of the hours of LCBO, which is 9 am to 11 pm from Monday to Saturday and 9 am to 6 pm on Sundays. Expect a line, as there are hardly other places where you can find liquor and wine.

The post “15 Things Nobody Tells You About Visiting Toronto” was seen first on Always On Thea Way

Toronto Naturopathic Doctor - Dr. Amauri Caversan

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woozifi · 7 years

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Hello! I'm new to seventeen, and I really want to be part of this Fandom, but I honestly don't know how. I've been following your since a long time and I fell in love with seventeen! I really want to know about them. What should I do? Thanks for reading this~

ahh! i’m so glad ur interested in checking out our boys!! idk if you’re used to large groups like svt, but if you aren’t, then learning to attach names to faces can be pretty tough. luckily, svt is split up into 3 different “units” so it’s a bit easier. i hope it’s okay i use @shua’s fantastic gifs to introduce the boys:

so this is hip hop unit, aka the rappers of the group, although they aren’t bad at singing either. in order from left to right, top to bottom, we get:

mingyu: ridiculously tall and ridiculously handsome, and if anyone knows me they know i want to fight him in a tim hortons parking lot. in truth, he’s a really sweet dorky guy, and whatever you do don’t give him something or he’ll drop it.

s.coups or seungcheol: leader of hip hop unit and overall leader of svt. has the unique ability to be both a friend and a respected leader. that all flies out the window once anything remotely competitive happens and suddenly he’s out for blood.

wonwoo: the designated Deep Voiced Rapper of the group and a total bookworm. he was pretty calm and quiet when they first debuted but has rapidly become more and more insane as time goes on.

vernon or hansol: he’s mixed (korean father, white mother) and has a plethora of embarrassing videos of him as a kid you can find on the internet. ridiculously chill but can be extra as fuck when he wants to be.

and here is vocal unit, the singers! from left to right, we have:

jeonghan: a cheater, a swindler, a mastermind, and also the most genuinely caring, nurturing person you’ll ever meet. he used to have super long hair, and when he cut it short again the entire fandom basically lost its shit.

woozi or jihoon: THE LOVE OF MY LIFE not only is he the leader of the vocal unit, but he’s also talented and intense and composes all their music. if an introverted, awkward, acerbic cat was a person, that cat would be lee jihoon.

joshua or jisoo: originally from LA, he used to be the sweet gentleman guy before he revealed himself to be wild and dorky as all hell. if he went to college, i’m pretty sure he’d be the guy playing the guitar at parties. you know who i’m talking about.

seungkwan: one of the main singers. outgoing, great at comedy and variety, talented as fuck, and ridiculously soft-hearted. loves his mother to hell and back and so far has cried over every award/music show they’ve won.

dk or dokyeom or seokmin: the other main singer and literally a physical embodiment of pure sunshine. his smile has been scientifically proven to banish negativity within a 50ft radius. he’s Soft and Must Be Protected. also those thighs, holy shit, those thighs.

and finally, performance unit! they are the main dancers and will kill you with their moves. from left to right, top to bottom, we have:

dino or chan: the talented maknae of the group. his parents own a dancing studio and he looks up to michael jackson. ridiculously responsible and mature for his age, but the other members prefer to keep treating him like a baby.

jun or junhui: one of the chinese members. he used to be a child actor and is basically Perfection. a really sweet and supportive mom friend, but whatever you do don’t try and argue that he’s not hot shit bc he will 100% try to prove you wrong immediately.

the8 or minghao: the other chinese member and has crazy b-boying skills & can do flips and shit that basically give me a heart attack. he used to be pretty quiet because he wasn’t used to the language yet, but has since become a Roasting Champion.

hoshi or soonyoung: the leader of performance unit and the one who creates most of the group’s choreography. imaginative, energetic, focused, serious when he needs to be, and in general has absolutely no chill. like. at all.

and that’s all the members! what i recommend is to start watching their shows to help you get comfortable with them and get to know their personalities. i recommend watching in order:

17 project: detailing their challenges and tasks up to their debut with adore u, here you get to meet baby!svt and see how hard they’ve worked to gain fans, improve their abilities, and come out as a new group. expect lots of tears.

one fine day: set roughly in between mansae and pretty u era, watch svt get thrown onto an island, learn to fish, beg for food, and nearly starve to death if it wasn’t for mingyu. i’m completely serious. that’s the whole show.

one fine day in japan: set after boom boom era and only just finished! it’s one fine day season 2, except now they’re chilling in akita, japan, where they frolick in the snow, struggle with the language, eat good food, and engage in the most heated, intense rivalry the world has ever seen.

there’s also 17tv, back when they were trainees. it’s hard to really watch it all these days, but you can find english subbed video clips on youtube of baby!baby!svt messing around in practice rooms and (usually) being Gay As Fuck with each other. trust me, this is where half the shipping comes from.

and there’s plenty else i’m sure you can find, but this is how you can really get into them! also make sure to check out their music videos, albums, etc. etc. every fandom has their issues, but the svt fandom is in general a pretty great place with lots of cool ppl!!!

#seventeen #svt #ask answers #Anonymous

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thesecretlifeofmerribethc · 5 years

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MY GOODNESS. WHY AM I SLACKING :’( sorryyyyy

OK wow, last post was April 8!!!! Disappointed in myself. Yes, I’ve been lazy.... and not just in posting here, but in life in general :P anyway, here I go playing catch up, AGAIN.

4.9.19 - got up late and prepared dad's shake n stuff. At like 4:30 ish manong came and I drove him to school taking the side streets. Chilled in the parking lot for like 20 min then we left. Ate dinner at Ikea and then from there I drove and took 275 home! It was a nice, smooth drive lol (PTL I drove like 7 pm, almost 8). Got home and marv and i watched the first episode of OPM season 2!!!!

4.10.19 - got up late again. Prepped dad's stuff as usual. Thought I was gonna drive/go to the gym with manong but he changed his mind lol. Went with mom to pick up Marvin and Manang. Was gonna walk at the park but it was cold and windy so we went home. Got home and took out the trash from the basement along with the usual trash. Painted in the dining while waited for mom to cook the milk fish. Watched get smart while painting.

4.11.19 - guess what! Woke up late again lolll. Ate tinola with mom and dad, then washed dishes, then got ready to get Marvin. Got Marv and then Manang and then went straight to HFMH to visit today Agnes. She got discharged just in time so we drove her home on our way to prayer meeting but before that, she treated us out to taco Bell. Got home after stopping by 7-11 and withdrawing money for my BLS class tomorrow. Also filled the tires with air. Did 1.5 miles on the elliptical then I drove manong and I to Meijer to get some stuff. Now I'm homeee

4.12.19 - Woke up early and manong took Marvin and I. Dropped Marv to school and then manong and I made our way to the Health Strategies building in Taylor for my BLS. It was raining! But also, finally got to see Danielle!! <3 It’s been so long, and she lost weight! Anyway, passed the multiple choice (25 questions, open book) with 100% lol. After the BLS manong picked me up and we went to Subway where he did a store. I ate a flatbread club with bacon then went to the car where I watched a lot of Conan vids (with Steven Ho). After that we went to Starbucks but then it was busy so we didn’t stay or buy anything. Decided to go to tim Hortons on Eureka, across from Aldi and we had coffee and donuts. Sat there for a good hour and a half or so then I drove from Tim Hortons to Tropical Smoothie. Got a Mango something and only paid $3.49 (or well manong paid lol). Thankfully it was Happy Hour (from 5-7 p.m. M-F) so in total our drinks were like $7.50. After that I drove from Topical Smoothie home. Got home and then manong and I walked around the neighborhood. Didn’t have power at home so we decided (mom and I) to go walk in the park and then go to Ne’s afterwards. Manong stayed home to finish his art project, so manang drove us to the park on Hall road. Walked for a good hour then went to Ne’s. Had corn beef for dinner and just chilled there until almost 2 a.m. Also ligo there too. Manong came around 9 or 10? But yeah, long day!

4.13.19 - Went out for lunch for manong’s bday at IKEA. Got a plate of meatballs. Didn’t walk around as much or buy anything. After IKEA, manong went home because he had to rest and get ready for dinner with his friends. The rest of the fam and I went to the filipino store where marv and I just stayed in the car with dad and watched conan vids. Manang bought a bunch of pancit canton but was paid by PJ and Si to get them lol. Dad then went to 7-11 and I helped him wash the car. After that he and mom dropped the 3 of us to Southland where we waited for our friends (Josh, PJ, and Jovel). At the mall I bought manong boxers and socks for his birthday xD (it was all I could afford). Waited for a while for Jovel, but once she came we rode in her car and went to Mcdonalds across the street. Only got a cup of water and a cheeseburger, but shared the fries and chicken nuggets. After that Marv and I rode with PJ, while manang rode with Josh. PJ and us stopped by tropical smoothie and he bought Marv and my drink which we shared. Got to Daen’s and Si was there too and watched TV before playing MP7 (PJ and I were SO close to winning if I had only rolled a 4 :(((( ). Then we played Jackbox. It was so funny. Left Daen’s at like 1 a.m.

4.14.19 - Manong’s birthday!! I drove to chase bank lol. Church was good. Only had Johanna as my student. It was a long women’s meeting. Played with the kids, specifically Paul, Johanna, and Eireen. We were taking turns hiding Johanna’s toy and looking for it. But before that I was watching Kaleb. We also watched COCO. After that, manang and marv rode with mom and dad, while I drove with manong. I drove from church to West rd. Took 696 to 75 all the way. Stopped by the bank and then Mcdonald’s, where I treated manong to an ice cream cone. Got home and rested. Manong left and met up with kuya Jeff. He’s gonna start working out and doing a meal plan! So proud of him. :)

4.15.19 - Walked with mom, manang and Marv for a good 50 minutes. Stopped by Target real quick. I bought water, then went to Bath and body works to redeem my free lotion. Noticed my earlobes were itchy and found out I had like a bump kinda like a mosquito bite. It was red and inflammed, and blistered... mostly on my right earlobe. My left wasn’t that bad... it was more like a dot. It definitely got a reaction from wearing the clip on earrings I got from the women’s conference. So weird tho because I know the earrings are from Avon, and avon claims all jewelry is nickel-free but idk!!! I definitely got a reaction. Didn’t get a reaction from my black earrings but prob cuz they’re stainless steel. So yeah, I’m suffering from itchy ears. Been cleaning and applying aquafor and neosporin.

4.16.19 - Stayed home today (like didn’t go with mom to pick up Marv and manang lol). Did the usual stuff, prepare dad’s shake, coffee, lunch and uniform. Cleaned the house and made myself a 2 glasses of protein shakes lol. Folded my clothes while watching Ponyo. After that I watched Ant Man and the Wasp with the sibs and mom and it was actually really good! I enjoyed it lol

4.17.19 - Walked with mom, Marv and manang. Stopped by Aldi after that, then GFS, Meijer for pineapples and sushi, and Walmart. I did most of the stuff since the sibs were tired, like gas up the car, get the pineapples, get the groceries in Walmart, push the cart at Aldi, etc. Oh when mom was at GFS, Marv treated manang and I for coffee at Tim Hortons. The lightning was very bright today too on our way home.

4.18.19 - Dad and I watched the fight scene in Wakanda to the end from Avengers: Infinity War. Then we watched Scenes from Get Smart. lol Dad and I went to get Marv from school. Manong picked up Manang. Painted Mob and Saitama. Then I played Stardew Valley (yeah marv downloaded it for me on his PSVita lol). Went with dad to Walmart and got some groceries. Came home and baked the pizza and it was okay lol. Made myself a fruit smoothie!

4.19.19 - Woke up early today to drive manong to his work in Plymouth (on N. Sheldon rd near Einstein bros). Took 275 to 96. Getting more confident although I make some little mistakes here and there. Once we got to the Subway I stayed in the car for like an hour or so and played more stardew valley lol. Then I got money from manong and walked to Wendys where I got a 4 for $4. Then I got coffee at Einstein bros. Then I walked to Busch’s. Walked around then went back to the car. Manong then drove and we went to Marshalls in Canton for manong to buy clothes for tonight’s Good Friday service at Taylor. Got home then I went straight to my room to start preparing for sunday school stuff. Then I ligo and got ready. Wore the yellow shirt manong got me from Marshalls. Left the house at 6:20 and got to Taylor. Members of our church were there on time too! The Cruz’s, Salamats, Duculans, tito boyet and tita Ana were there. The service was long, but good. Loved the preachings by the different pastors on the 7 Sayings of Jesus. Dad had the last saying (Father, into your hands I commit my spirit) and he did a wonderful job. Ne was also there and she sat with us in the pews. Ate and then talked with Caleb and Hannah. Then went upstairs and talked to kuya karlo. Left and went home. I was soooo tired. Dozed off in bed with my makeup still on. Got up around 12 a.m. and washed my face and brushed my teeth.

4.20.19 - Woke up ate 8 am!!! Ahhh. Drove manong to school. Took 275 to 94. Stayed in the car but only for like 20 minutes because manong forgot he didn’t have class today for the holiday. Drove manong’s classmate Jim, who’s an older, retired senior, home. Then we went to Belleville. Stopped by dollar tree where I got stuff for sunday school. Then we went to Walmart and Aldi. Stopped by Wendys for me so I could eat (4/$4) and then home. Once I got home I went straight to bed. I was soooo tired. Woke up at 3:30 and dad was getting ready for work :(( Chilled in the living room while mom cooked. Ne came and she brought desserts. Ate and talked to Ne, then I went to hem my jumpsuit for tomorrow. Then I prepared my sunday school stuff. At 6:30 the sibs and I left. I drove to Panera bread in woodhaven while the boys went to Planet fitness. Manang and I had good conversation in Panera. She bought us coffee, a big cookie, and a bagel with cream cheese. Left panera (manong got us) at 8:20. Went to Target and then home. At home I played piano, then folded clothes. Mom had her nails done by manang. Then I finished preparing my stuff for tomorrow. Re-hemmed my jumpsuit, though I think I’m gonna re-do it again tomorrow :P lol. Helped manong find the right key for tomorrow’s P&W. Now I’m about to sleep! Goodnight!

Life, I’m lovin’ it, Bebet

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