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#ff pretzel
miiints-repostiory · 2 months
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queers
also
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dappersheep · 4 months
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H o h o
i shall take my chances on that request and ask for mary/pretzel fake dating trope if thats okay 👀
You're in luck. I got a hit of inspiration. Might not be Fake Dating to a T but it's there. Enjoy!
sine qua non
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cats-r-us · 2 years
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It's literally them.
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ollierachnid · 2 years
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[head in hands] every day i find out information
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bunnyb34r · 8 months
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How the hell did I choke on cotton candy 😭 what the fuck man
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brawltogethernow · 9 months
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I actually misremembered who made the suggestion; this is @heyyoufriendthere (orange⬇️)'s fault. Plaintext with annotations below the cut.
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This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas Comics will warp to be like films as fast as you can say "huzzah" But when a megamonopoly swallows up the competition It yanks our blorbos back and forth in an ugly retcon perdition When only Fox can make a movie about the Fantastic Four, The Disney-owned comic office will shove the Four right out the door Until the Disney studio absorbs those rights and then you'll find The comics are suddenly awful sorry they left them behind(1) Then in the instant comic fans begin to cheer an awful lot The news comes in from Bleeding Cool(2) the writer is that fucker Slott(3)
Oh yes when comics warp to be like films and leave you quite agaw This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas
When Disney didn't have the rights to film the X-Men and their friends The Inhumans were their idea to have that same magic again But absolutely nobody could give a damn about their deal There was a gas or something uh, the Moon? Nobody cares get real EXCEPT for Ms. Marvel, the only Inhuman breakout success They want her all over the screen at excited public behest Oh yes when comics warp to be like films and leave you quite agaw This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas For years the MCU was not allowed to say the word "mutant" They twisted themselves into pretzels out to recoup every cent The silver screen had two Quicksilvers purely for dumb spite reasons With roots in even dumber masturbatorial rights reasons(4) Wanda and Pietro had their sixth or seventh origin retcon(5) To fit the "No More Mutants!"(6) edict corporate decided upon Then Disney bought the M word back for 73 billion bucks (A number that should make you want to strangle all these greedy fucks)
Oh yes when comics warp to be like films and leave you quite agaw This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas
Now suddenly it's mutant city all over the comic line They let the X-Men start a sex cult; also they can never die With no need for Inhumans they admitted that they're pretty cringe And nobody will ever give their lore a proper reading binge The MCU made Kamala a mutant like immediately Faster than you can say "bad adaptation" or "brand synergy" In short order the comics gave her the murderization hook In such a hurry it wasn't even in her own fucking book(7) Now big surprise she's coming back on the fucking sex cult island They gave it less than one whole month before they played their fucking hand So Kamala's a mutant now(8) and got a shitty mourning book(9) Which when she's coming back NEXT MONTH you might call a pretty bad look
IT'S TRUE WHEN COMICS WARP TO BE LIKE FILMS AND LEAVE YOU JUST AGAW THAT IS THE VERY PICTURE OF AN INTELLECTUAL RIGHTS FRACAS
~ (1) "At the time, we were told that the Fox-licensed X-Men books weren't to be cancelled as they made too much money for the publisher, but the FF as a middling sales solo title could be missed without hurting the bottom line."
From 2014, when Fox was preparing its 2015 release of Fant4stic, until Disney's film branch recovered the rights by absorbing Fox, the FF were conspicuously absent from comics. The Fantastic Four book was discontinued for the first time since 1962 (for most of those decades they'd supported multiple titles at once) along with all associated merch tchotchkes. By 2017 there was a Twitter hashtag, #WhereAreTheFantasticFour. If you want to hear some people be driven slowly insane by this, Stormcast had a segment called Stormwatch where they analyzed any Johnny Storm appearances in a given month. We're talking deep analyses of single panels.
(2) I know I just linked them, but part of the joke is Bleeding Cool's weird place in the geek news ecosystem. They report everything first, so for the first week you know something you can't strictly confirm it's actually true.
(3) I don't have time to enumerate Slott's crimes but we hate him. Source: Dude trust me👍
(4) How A B-List Hero Became Hot Hollywood Property Fox could adapt him because they had the rights to all mutants, and Disney could because they had the rights to all Avengers. Some characters are both because the comics didn't use to care about this. This is the entire reason the MCU introduced a Pietro Maximoff and then killed him off. Like seriously who kills off one twin. No that was not based on any comic story.
(5) They're not currently Magneto's kids in the main comic line. Everyone hates this.
(6) This is a cheap reference to the comic storyline "House of M".
(7) They killed her off in Amazing Spider-Man (2022) #26 and none of her supporting cast was there.
(8) Kamala Khan to Return in “Ms. Marvel: The New Mutant”
(9) Look at this thing:
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WHO are those anonymously multiracial teens and what are they so goddamn happy about?
~
Bonus
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princessconsuela120 · 5 months
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Since it's spooky season, could you do an aged up ff about you convincing stan's friend group to go trick or treating with you?
PRINCESSCONSUELA'S FALLFEST EVENT🍂🧣🎃🍃
🧣 - Cozy Up: Send in any fluff requests from the prompt list that should be posted shortly. I will write a short blurb for any prompt.
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—🧣
Summary: it’s Halloween, so you convince the boys to go trick or treating…even though you’re all on high school now.
Warnings: cursing, South Park…all warnings that come with that.
Authors Note: I’m so sorry this took so long, but I adored this idea!!! More Fallfest docs coming out tonight!!! Enjoy!
—🧣
IT WAS AN EXCEPTIONALLY WARM DAY FOR FALL IN SOUTH PARK. Like Cartman liked to say, the only two seasons in South Park were Winter and July, but today was different. It was warm, WARM! In South Park! You couldn’t just let that pass up.
“Come on guys, please! Look at the sun, it’s shining! Have you ever seen the sun before?” You rambled, practically running circles around the boys as they walked to class. You and been friends with them since the 4th grade, and now being Juniors in high school, it was safe to say you were very close.
“Yes I’ve seen the damn sun before y/n.” Cartman snarked, choosing to miss the point of what you were saying. You rolled your eyes, shoving him lightly as the other boys chuckled.
“We could be scooby doo, or, what about..”
“I swear to god, if you suggest crayons again I’m going to scream.” Kyle said, making you groan, shaking him lightly with impatience.
“Oh come on you guys.”
“I don’t know y/n it’s just, we’re in high school now. Isn’t there like, a legal age limit for trick or treating.” Stan said, making Cartman scoff, nudging you back.
“Yeah, it ends at 8 years old.” He teased, making you roll my eyes yet again.
“I’m sure Kenny wasn’t to go, don’t you?”
“Anything for free candy.” Kenny said, the two of you high diving as Cartman rolled his eyes in defeat.
“Yeah you know what, I can be a kid for the night for some free candy.”
“You don’t need anymore candy fatass.” Kyle teased, Cartman turning to look at him angrily.
“Aye!” He shouted, as you and Kyle laugh to each other.
“I guess I’ll go. Got nothing better to do anyways.” Stan says, shrugging as you jump up and down with excitement. You turn to Kyle, rubbing your shoulder happily against his as you smiled.
“Yay! So Kyle, what’s it gonna be?” You teased, making him sigh.
“Fine.” He pointed a finger at you. “But I’m not being a damn crayon.” You nodded in agreement before jumping and squealing happily.
—🧣
SOMEHOW YOU HAD MANAGED TO CONVINCE THE BOYS TO BE THE GHOST BUSTERS. You had found a bucket of green paint in Stan’s farm-from good knows what- and paint Cartman head to toe in green paint. You sewed together some makeshift green outfit for him to wear and deemed him the ghost to your quartet. You can only imagine how happy that made Cartman.
“Why did I have to be the ghost?” He whined, stomping behind the four of you as you came up to your first door.
“Because your fat.” Kyle said, not missing a beat.
“Aye!”
“What he meant to say, was that you just shine, like a ghost would shine.” You say, as Cartman scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“Oh cut the crap y/n.”
“Trick or treat!” You all shouted, bright smiles on all your faces as the two adults at the door greeted you with excitement.
“Oh honey look, it’s the ghost busters!” The one woman said, nudging her husband as she pointed out Cartman.
“Yeah, and Bruce vilange.” Her husband cheered, making Cartman fume.
“God damnit I’m not Bruce villange! I’m a ghost!”
“Oh, of course you are honey.” The woman said nicely, making cartman scoff, grabbing the serving bowl from the lady and dumping half of it into his pillow case, causing you and the other boys to laugh.
“Just gimme the damn candy.” He grumbled, making you lean onto Stan as you laughed even harder. “I hate you guys.”
—🧣
“YOU GIVE ME YOUR ALMOND JOYS AND I'LL GIVE YOU MY PRETZELS.” Cartman bargained, making you frown as you held the blue wrapped candy up to you chest protectively. The five of you were now sitting in Stan’s living room, the contents of your pillow cases spilled out infront of you as you made trades for candy. Most of the time, when you were younger atleast, all the bags of chips and pretzels and drinks that you all got, you would all donate to Kenny, so he could take something home for his family. And besides that, he got to bring home the candy no one else would eat. Now Cartman on the other hand, would always try to go to bed Halloween night with even more candy than he had walking in the house. You of course, wouldn’t let this happen.
“But I want my almond joys.” You mumbled, a pour on your face as Cartman sighed, waving the bag of pumpkin shaped pretzels in the air.
“Well, don’t you want some pretzels?”
“Sure, here. I’ll give you my almond joys.” You handed him a few candy bars as he clapped excitedly.
“One bag of pretzels is equal to four.” Cartman corrected, making you roll your eyes.
“Right okay, well pretend that makes sense. Now, you give me your pretzels.”
“Ooo, ghost and pumpkin shaped, how spooky. Now, you give me back two almond joys.”
“Okay.”
“And I give you back your pretzels.”
“Okay.”
“Now you give me three more almond joys.”
“But there’s only two in my hands.” Cartman pouted, as you shook you head at him, gesturing to his pillow case.
“Then take it out of your bag.”
“Good idea.” He said, quickly digging for almond joys in his bag.
“Okay, and now you give me your pretzels.”
“Perfect. Aye!” Cartman yelled, watching angrily as you proudly stuffed both the new almond joys and spooky pretzels into you bag.
“No more candy trades boys, I’m all out.” You teased, dusting off your hands as Kyle Stan and Kenny all applauded you with amusement.
“That was amazing.” Stan muttered, making you chuckle as Cartman pouted in the corner, almost just like when you were kids. It was wonderful to be kids again on Halloween. Something the boys had missed. And even if they wouldn’t admit it, in fear of bruising their pride, they were happy you convinced them to go.
—🧣
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honeybrowne · 1 year
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Day 14: Valentine's Day
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AARON HOTCHNER X F!READER [0.9k]
Content: So much fluff it's actually disgusting (but cute); mention of food
Summary: For your first Valentine's day as a couple, you and Aaron happened to have similar gift ideas.
Author's Note: Happy Valentine's Day besties! This is mixed with day 12 because the second half of it was originally written for jewel, but I didn't finish it in time. I completely rushed to finish this and it hasn't been beta'd so I apologize for any mistakes 🫶🏻
Masterlist || FF Masterlist
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You really should've expected this. With Penelope Garcia on your team, you should've known that it would look like Cupid had thrown up in the bullpen on Valentine's Day.
Streamers and balloons are everywhere, each desk is decorated in one way or another, and there are even festive gel decals on Aaron and Rossi's office windows. An endless amount of cookies and sweets are set up in the break room, and you have a feeling you won't be able to resist the chocolate covered pretzels.
It really puts you in the holiday spirit, not that you weren't already in it when you woke up this morning.
This was your first Valentine's Day not single. Your relationship with Aaron was still new and mostly a secret from the rest of the team, so you hadn't planned on bringing anything for him.
However, there's something different very different about your desk in comparison to everyone else's.
"Why didn't I get flowers?" Emily pouts as she leans over to 'smell' the colorful bouquet. Her eyes betray her as she tries to see who it's from by the card attached, but it's sealed with only your name written on the front.
You can't help but smile at the thought of Aaron knowing his team so well and predicting that someone would be nosy.
"I didn't either," Spencer and Derek say in unison, although, Derek was definitely shown a bit of favoritism with extra candies.
Everyone on the team knows you're seeing someone, they just don't know who. You and Aaron had mutually agreed that it was best to keep things to yourselves for the time being, just to give you some peace while you navigated the start of a new relationship. Working together made things complicated, and him being your superior certainly didn't make things any simpler.
So far, things have been beyond your expectations.
You can't remember a time that you were this happy. Work doesn't feel like a chore anymore when you know you'll get to see him everyday. Even if you can't show him any affection while you're around the team, you wouldn't trade it for the world. It makes your moments alone that much more special.
Question after question is thrown your way. The usual "just tell us who is he" from Emily, and the same old teasing remarks from Derek is all you hear. Spencer stays mostly quiet, only chiming in every once in a while.
You're literally counting down the minutes for lunch, and once the clock strikes noon and the bullpen clears of your team, you make a quick stop at the break room before heading up to Aaron's office.
Your signature knock on his door lets him know it's you, and you're greeted with a warm smile when you walk in. He meets you halfway, taking the plate of sweets from you as he presses a chaste and simultaneously firm kiss to your lips.
"Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart."
A swarm of butterflies erupt in your belly, and you hope you never lose that feeling.
"Happy Valentine's Day," you smile, kissing him again. "Thank you for the flowers, by the way. I was interrogated the entire morning."
Aaron tugs you with him as he heads to the couch in the corner of his room, a grin pulling at his lips. "I knew you would be, and I'm sorry, but I wasn't going to not get you flowers today."
"But you get me flowers for my apartment regularly, you could've missed today."
"No," he murmurs against your cheek, "I couldn't."
You playfully scold him for being too affectionate, only because you have a hard time resisting him as it is.
Despite what people may think, Aaron has a major sweet tooth. One of his hands is resting on your thigh while the other is putting cookies into his mouth. A crumb falls on his chin and you wipe it away with a smile, feeling completely over the moon.
"I brought your gift with me incase we got called away, but since I don't think we are, I'll let you decide if you want to open it now or later."
Your answering smile is so big it's almost embarrassing.
You ultimately decide to wait, and when you open it later that night, you're so grateful you did; the tears that slip down your cheeks are completely out of your control.
It's an anklet with his initial as the pendant, and you swear you've never adored a piece of jewelry more in your life.
"This is beautiful, Aaron. Thank you."
He kisses your cheek. "I know we haven't been together for that long and this might be too much too soon, but I wanted to get you something that reminds you and anyone who sees it that there's someone in your life who would do anything for you."
Without responding, you give him the box that holds your gift, unable to wait any longer.
Confusion flashes over his features, but he doesn't hesitate to open it. The way his eyes widen is almost comical, and you grin as he takes in the cuff links that sit in his hand.
"Is this...?"
"It's my birthstone," you affirm. "I had been worried that customizing it with mine would come off wrong, but—"
"We both decided to get something that would claim each other as ours."
Your cheeks warm as you nod, and you can't help but picture what he'll look like with the cuff links on, even if they're just a small added detail to his already expensive suits. He sets them down once he's finished admiring them and the kiss he presses to your lips makes you feel like the luckiest woman on earth.
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Taglist: @spacecowboyhotch, @hotchs-bitch
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olderthannetfic · 7 months
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I really wanted to ignore the vld wank and hoped it would die off.But ffs, no-one ever said Klance was pedophilic. Klance shippers who were the big antis in the vld fandom. They were the ones who called sheith “pedophilic” and by extension, any ship involving Shiro with one of the paladins.Klantis (klance shippers who were “antis”) were the ones who harassed other fans and the crew of the show. They played a big part of popularizing age discourse, harassment, and the “anti” mentality. (vld 1/3)
--
The only comments on Keith’s and Lance’s age difference happened when the ages for the paladins were revealed in an official book. Antis used to argue that sheith was “pedo” because Keith was a minor and Shiro was an adult. But according to that book, Keith was 18, and Lance was 17. So some people pointed out as a *joke* that now Klance was the ship with a minor and an adult.Of course antis claimed that it was the age gap that made sheith “pedo”, and continued their harassment. (vld 2/3) Later, due to weird space-time stuff, Keith aged 2 years while the rest of the team didn’t, so at the end of the show his age gap with Lance was pretty much the same as with Shiro. Antis twisted themselves into pretzels to justify that Keith’s additional 2 years “did not count”. As for the “queerbaiting”: the producers stated twice in interviews that klance would not be canon. Antis insisted the klance would be canon anyway. Meanwhile in canon Lance clearly had feelings for Allura. (vld 3/3)
I don't know where people get any version of VLD fandom history other than: Klance fans sucked.
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look-i-love-u · 9 months
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Gallacrafts - Stargazer lilies, Motherfucker! - Theme 23
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My @gallacrafts for this month's theme is a wooden box I did some wood burning on.
For @gallacrafts I turned it into "Ian's memory box". Filled with memories of firsts that make him so happy and excited to be married to Mickey. Rosepetals from their wedding suit, string from the first time Mickey fixed a rip in his pants, shells from their first trip to the beach, tomato seeds, pretzels from their house warming party in their flat, stickers from Franny's first overnight stay, polaroids of the lilies on his balcony and Mickey in his bed, the bubbles they made when Freddy visited them, ...
And since I like to use my crafts and don't really need a memory box I decided to make a Mickey version of the box too... based on a super fun ff in which Mickey runs a secret DnD group with the people from the West Side and when Ian finds out he's very much into Mickey doing lots of quick maths.
Anyway... here's my Mickey's DnD dice box. Featuring pink felt and some Pride dice!
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doctortwhohiddles · 2 months
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Thoroughlystupid has decided to come out of retirement to grace us with yet another exemplary show of her stupidity. And this is really a doozy. Prepare to cry with laughter.
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The simplest explanation is the best. Exactly. So what is simpler? That Ben and Sophie are happily married and parents to 3 boys or the convoluted, ever changing narrative coming from the sQeptics butts? As far as piss poor reading comprehension and pretzel twisting goes, Thoroughlystupid is hard to beat with that utter nonsense. There's no zebra. There was never any zebras. It was always a horse. One the sQeptics keep beating even though it's long dead.
Then, her idiotic post continues with this:
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The facts are thus: the poem is a popular one at weddings and isn't tied to the date of Kit's conception. There was a christening for all 3 kids. Ben has never said repeatedly said 3 boys. Lazy journalists did, not him. He knows how many kids he has. There's a freaking birth certificate for all 3 of them. The quote about Sophie is taken way out of context. We all know what she meant: no questions about my private life. Social media posts are no indicator of a person private life. Just because he wasn't spotted or that people did and didn't mention it doesn't mean he's in hiding. Add to that the fact that the sQeptics are blocked by almost everyone and you get this epic show of stupidity. It known and common courtesy to not take and post pictures of a stranger's kids. Again, not everyone is as an entitled asshole as the sQeptics. The kids are school aged and in school. Ffs, they sent them to school in the US when Ben was promoting TPoTD.
Nine years. Nine fucking years. That's how long they've been at it. And those are the only arguments they have to convince themselves. If any of what they are saying was true, it would have been in the press. There's no way the British tabloids would sit on a story like this.
So, for the SQeptics lurking: just stop. You know you have zero credible evidence to back your bullshit. You know Ben and Sophie are together. You know they have 3 boys. Those are all well known, documented facts. So stop acting like morons and start living in the real world. It's not has bad as you're making it out to be.
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miiints-repostiory · 3 months
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bcacstuff · 7 months
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And to no one’s surprise the pretzel twisting begins. “It doesn’t sound like him” But it’s totally his voice? “She thinks he lives in Ireland so it’s not real” FFS really? “It’s all a setup”. Sure, the MC papwalk was sketch, but do people not realize in order for everything that’s ever involved an ABC or ABG to be a set up, you’re involving dozens of people over many years and expecting them to either sign an NDA or keep their mouth shut out of some form of loyalty or kindness. Or assume you’re not totally crazy for asking to be part of an elaborate skit in the first place. Sure, ok.
Well.. what can I say...
Admit, and already wrote in my initial post, I had no doubts how people will see this the way they want to see it and draw their own conclusions from it. Where one receives it as a nice, maybe bit funny story and that's all there is to it, the other will make something bigger out of it and spin all kind of stories around it. And then there are the ones that will do everything to create doubts and chaos around it as it doesn't fit an agenda.
Sigh, I know this fandom too well (sadly). Yes, I thought things thoroughly over before posting and wrote in cautious words. I hope none too many and none too less.
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tsnbrainrot · 6 months
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hi marie i hope youre well! im popping by to recommend a recent video essay called Doctor Who vs Women by verilybitchie as i know its always hatingstevenmoffat o'clock on this blog. i also had fun reading the comments of moffat simps admitting they cant actually argue against the points made in the video lmao
oh, anon you speak my language !! it IS always hating stevenmoffat o'clock on this blog and this is a rec that seems so aligned with my interests. i can wait to watch it!!!
people who defend moffat and claim he's a feminist are so funny to me like ?????????? you can just say you like his stuff; we all like stuff that's questionable. you don't have to twist yourself into a pretzel to say he's woke in order to justify you liking his era ffs. (but the worst is when people try to argue he did great on lgbt rep on dw. bitch WHERE ????? WHERE?? bi!clara ?? god, the bar is literally on the floor. rtd casting yasmin did more for lgbt+ rep/visibility than the entirety of moffat's era and the eps havent even aired yet.)
anyways, i'll get back to you/this post when i've watched the thing but i'm very excited.
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judeswhore · 9 months
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Jude is really saying I can’t be taller than Jobe but I will be thicker.
Ffs. Want him to manhandle me like a baker making a pretzel. 💦
need him to just throw me around a little
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sleepyowlwrites · 1 day
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find the word tag CCCLXXXXIV
I decided to try this on my phone again, like a crazy person. I had a bad, boring day and my throat still hurts. Yay.
fridge magnet in the shape of a pretzel from @abalonetea
hot (ff: jedi: kivarin v.1)
“How did you even know I was down here?” He asked her, more insistently. “And what are you- ah!”
Kivarin murmured an apology as she pressed around the edges of the wounds. His skin wasn’t hot or stiff, which was a good sign. “I can heal these down, but when we get out you should get an antibiotic shot. Ready?”
wet (ff: jedi: kivarin v.2)
Finally a planet that doesn't immediately want to eat me or rob me for all I have-"
Cal breaks off when a thunderclap booms, squinting around under the hood of his poncho. "How come you're outside? You're getting all wet!" He laughs.
You're still rooted in place. Your eyes are looking at him but you can only see Kiran, bright and warm and breathing. Except that Kiran is dull, and cold, and still. You imagine you can see Cal's chest also stilling, his heart ceasing to beat. The next round of thunder sends you to the ground in despair.
soft and sigh (ff: jedi: kivarin v.2)
When you exhale in a deep sigh, it seems to let out all your reserve energy. Your head drops into Cal's shoulder, getting another soft chuckle out of him.
"I seem to recall this being a bad position to sleep in."
"I don't care," you mumble. "I'm so tired. And my head hurts."
allow, break, stand, shrink. BONUS: quicken, salivate. for @zmwrites @incandescent-creativity @revenantlore @squarebracket-trickster or anybody
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