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#feysand angst
reverie-tales · 3 months
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I Get to Love You
Chapter 2
@acotargiftexchange
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Summary: This is the story of a male who loved his mate, his High Lady, and the mother of his child, told from his perspective. A glimpse of selected events mentioned in ACOSF from Rhysand's POV. Three chapters that can be individually read as one-shots. 
Notes:
- For my giftee @dreamlandreader . 🩷 Happy New Year! I'm sorry chapter 2 took so long!
- A special thanks to @witch-and-her-witcher, @asnowfern, and @tealeaves-and-rosepetals for the support, beta-reading, and generally being the best people an anxious writer could ever ask for. @popjunkie42 thanks for entertaining me every time I drop my random snippets in your inbox. You're the greatest.
- CW: Angst
- Word Count: 2310 AO3
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Chapter 2: We Are Buried in Broken Dreams
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The Seraphim soared above the skies. The morning sunlight shone upon their white, feathered wings, bringing a glimmer of hope to Rhysand's tremulous heart. Ever since Madja warned him of the risks of the baby having wings, he has been a wreck on the verge of condemning the world into forgotten darkness for daring to take away his mate and child. But his mate, the light of his darkest night, centered him every moment his own eyes met hers—joyous blue-gray eyes with never-ending starlight as she held onto her belly and that vibrant hope for the future.
It pained him to be away from Feyre. The mating bond punished him with suffocating smoke coursing through his blood, fogging his senses, for venturing away from his pregnant mate. Yet the same bond bellowed him to find a solution—urging him to save his mate, their child—to save them both. It was maddening. It was damnation. It was damnation Rhysand would go through over and over if it meant they would survive.
At the sound of rushing footsteps coming, Rhysand abandoned his pained thoughts. Yesterday, he sent an encrypted message through the newly established spell between Velaris and Cretea that would allow continued communication between territories. He had informed Miryam and Drakon of his imminent arrival but didn't wait for their response to come through since messages take a day to arrive due to the complexity of the spell that ensures the island's location stays hidden. At the crack of dawn, he kissed his sleepy mate goodbye, and he made his way toward Cretea. Feyre knew where he was going. She didn't know it was for her and the baby's sake.
He landed on the sandstone castle's terrace, overlooking the neighboring shoreline where the gushing sea waves met sand. His wings were out and he took pleasure in the island's cool breeze. Promptly, he was met with an attendant that took it upon themselves to find Miryam and Drakon.
Stepping away from a post, he caught Miryam rounding a corner, walking a foot ahead of her mate in visible excitement. Every stride she took caused her dark curls to bounce. "Rhys! Back so soon? Have you brought Feyre with you?" she greeted him.
Catching up with his mate, Drakon chuckled and clasped a hand on Rhysand's shoulder. "Sorry, dear friend. It seems Miryam favors the pleasant company of your mate over us males these days."
"I cannot blame her," Rhysand responded to Drakon. He met Miryam's expectant brown eyes. "No, unfortunately Feyre is not with me this time, though she shares the same fondness for your company, Miryam," Rhysand answered with half a smile.
"We received your urgent message this morning. Does your arrival have anything to do with the new treaty?" Drakon asked.
"There has been hesitation from certain territories on signing, but no, I have come for a more pressing concern."
"Pfft! Fae territories, I am certain," Miryam spoke. "What is more pressing, then?"
Placing a hand in his pocket, "Feyre is pregnant," he announced.
Miryam gasped, "But that's wonderful news!"
"Congratulations! Mother bless you both!" said Drakon.
Rhysand nodded. "Indeed it is. Feyre and I couldn't be more thrilled." His voice hoarse, close to croaking, he added quickly before his brave facade faltered. "However, the baby has Illyrian wings. With Feyre being High Fae and forbidden to use her shifting powers while she's pregnant, there's a high risk. There's a possibility she and the baby could die during delivery."
Miryam rushed to his side. "That can't be! Is there anything we can do to help?"
With his powerful hands still grasping his shoulder, holding Rhysand steady, Drakon added, "Yes, do let us know. We'll do everything to help."
"I was hoping you both would say that." Turning to Drakon, Rhysand asked, "Do any of your Seraphim healers perhaps have special methods for safe delivery of a winged baby by a non-winged mother?” Shifting his attention to Miryam, "You were able to carry and deliver your beautiful winged children. Maybe the same could be for Feyre."
"Oh, Rhys," Miryam voiced softly, her face crestfallen as she glanced at his wings.
"Please," he begged. It wasn't beneath him to beg, especially for Feyre. He was not a calm and collected High Lord of the Night Court today, but a male desperately asking his friends to help him save his mate.
Miryam and Drakon shared a look with each other, one he knew so well. An ongoing silent conversation between mates. He didn't dare intrude with his Daemati powers, even as he was dying to know what they couldn't say out loud around him. All he could do was tuck his wings back, bracing for whatever they intended to tell him.
Drakon spoke too gently, as if he knew Rhysand had laid all of his hopes on them. "We're deeply sorry, Rhys. The Seraphim's wings are flexible and rounded. Our wings bend easily during birth. There are no known special methods. At least not from our healers."
"Neither have I encountered any complications during labor due to the baby having wings," voiced Miryam too apologetically, knowing it hurt Rhysand to hear it. "Nor have my people."
And just like that, the truth sank into Rhysand's skin and bones. The answer to saving Feyre and baby wasn't in Cretea, where the Miryam and Drakon found a safe haven to build their lives together—to grow their family. No. For all the threads of fated similarities he and Feyre shared with his mated friends, this is where they diverge. Miryam and Drakon obtained their happily ever after, and Cauldron be damned, nothing will ever make him happy again if he were to lose Feyre and the baby. Their final bargain was a small solace knowing that if Feyre would leave the world behind, he would go with her.
The ground shook, or was it him that was shaking? He couldn't tell. Pity and fear were painted on his friends' faces. He felt the helplessness creeping upon him then—the same one he felt the day he uncovered his mother and sister's heads in boxes sent down the river. Agonizing helpness. He felt his guilt-driven and grief-stricken darkness escape his clutches, sucking out the sunlight as his knees gave out. He fell so hard that the ground cracked beneath him.
His mental shields wavered for a brief moment. Panicked concern for him rushed down the bond from his mate. "No, I'm fine, darling, I promise. Everything is alright," he lied, reassuring her. But nothing was fine, as Drakon had to embrace him to keep himself from falling apart further. Fortifying his shields, he hoped Feyre believed him. What a wretched and useless mate he was.
When he gathered his bearings, Miryam and Drakon urged him to stay longer. They didn't believe he was in a condition to travel after his breakdown. He nearly covered the entire island in darkness at one point, terrifying the poor denizens of Cretea. Grateful as he was for the generosity and kindness of his friends, he couldn't stay any longer. If there was no specialized method for winged delivery to learn, then there was no point in being oceans away from his mate. Time was a precious commodity that they didn't have enough of.
With a promise from Miryam and Drakon that they would leave no stone unturned to help search for a way to help Feyre and the baby, he bid his friends farewell. He patted Drakon on the shoulder and kissed Miryam on the cheek. Two equally tear-stained brown eyes followed him as he spread his wings and launched himself into the midmorning skies. In a powerful wingbeat, he left Cretea behind.
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If Rhysand had been honest with himself, winnowing would have brought him home sooner. Regretfully, he was not ready to face Feyre yet, no matter how much he yearned for her presence. No matter that his instincts demanded him to be by her side—to protect her and their unborn child. He would have crumbled at the sight of her beautiful, glowing self and told her the truth about their circumstances. No. He had to be strong for them. He would not take away her joy. He would not extinguish that light. So he had flown, flapping his wings despite the biting sting of autumn winds or the ache of muscles from a long voyage. Was he punishing himself? If he was truly honest with himself, maybe he was.
A mile from Velaris' shields, he vanished his wings and winnowed straight to the River House. Feyre was out meeting with charity organizers at the studio. He closed his eyes, folding into space and time—a specific room in his mind. He did not desire his people to see how distraught their High Lord flying overhead of them was when they were supposed to be at peace and thriving. After being absent for fifty uncertain years, his people deserved to see their High Lord adept and in control—at the very least most of the time.
Although his inner circle would argue that after everything he had sacrificed for them, no one would even dare question a slip from his unbothered mask when everyone was merely grateful that he was back. But had he really sacrificed enough? Maybe he could have sacrificed himself more wholly. Why else would fate be cruel to his mate and their unborn child if not to punish him?
His worst inner voice echoed: Is this not a repercussion? What else could it be than the fate of a High Lord who failed to stop Amarantha from slaughtering two dozen winter court children?
Fuck! Oh Fuck the Cauldron!
He truly did not deserve them! But he rebelled against that beastly, torturous voice inside his head.
"THEY DO NOT DESERVE THIS!" he roared and opened his eyes.
Rhysand was standing inside the nursery, unbidden tears rolling down his face. The midnight blue-themed nursery was enchanted with the warmth of love, chasing away the coldness that clung to his skin after leaving Cretea and fighting inner demons. It wasn't magic's doing, but Feyre's. Every single thing his eyes laid upon was her choice, from the plush carpet underneath his booth extending to the crib to the starry wall lined with books and toys.
He circled the room and reached out to touch the border of a wall painted with the beginnings of a story. A faerie dreaming of human hands painting the night sky. Their story.
"Our baby may be too young to know the entirety of how his parents came together," Feyre told him the first time she showed it to him, "but maybe every night when we put him to bed, he'll have this little glimpse of us."
A glimpse of the beginnings of his family.
Rhysand slumped down on the carpet. Recalling that tender moment was his breaking point. Shattering his heart into a million pieces. He needed to put himself together. But he was there all alone, refusing to burden his mate with the chaos of his soul.
Did he need to find Cassian? Did he need his brother to punch him into oblivion like he did the day before? He had taken those powerful blows to his face, those stomach-emptying punches to his abdomen, those kicks to the legs, and didn't defend himself. His own twisted sort of self-punishment until Cassian roared at him, "Fight back!"
Fight back for Feyre and the baby.
He would. He always would.
He balled his hand into a fist, channeled all his rage for the injustice of it all, and struck back hard.
They were two bloodied messes after they had sparred.
However, he was losing it all over again. Spiraling.
He ran a hand through his hair.
He needed to make plans. He needed to find a solution. He needed to ask for help from more of his allies. He would beg on his knees if he had to. Trade everything and anything.
He needed to go to Dawn. To Thesan. Surely the High Lord of Healing would know a procedure that would save Feyre and the baby. He needed to go to Day. To Helion. Surely one of the many thousand libraries would hold the answer to his desperate question.
But then. Just then, alone in the nursery with his sorrow, he succumbed to his heart-wrenching fear.
He was so painfully lost that he could no longer see clearly. Closing his eyes once more. He forgot about time and space. Nevertheless, the sacred bond between mates wouldn't let him bear the heavy weight of his burdens alone.
Gentle, warm hands he would recognize in any cosmic universe cupped his face. There was no shield hindering Rhysand from Feyre's touch. He didn't know how she managed to break it, but he wasn't surprised that she could, and all thoughts of shields fled his mind when his mate whispered, "Rhys, my love, please I'm here."
He opened his eyes to see his pregnant mate kneeling beside him on the nightfallen nursery's floor. The moonlight streamed through the open window, lighting her face. How much time had passed? She was frowning and worried for his sake. He knew right then and there that sooner rather than later, his mate deserved to know the truth. The truth that he cowardly ordered to be kept hidden. She deserved to hear it from his lips, her mate, and no one else.
His mouth tried to utter the words, but all he could manage was a sob, and Feyre—even not knowing the whole truth—understood that it was her that he needed the most and held on to him. Anchoring him until he could face the world once more.
He truly did not deserve her. Even right then she was still his salvation. His very hope.
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Thank you for reading! 🥰
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shallyne · 7 months
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gone but not forgotten
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Wanted to write angst. Thanks to @timesconvert for pushing me to write this
Words: 1.130
TW: death, mourning, suicidal thoughts
Feyre's life took a turn and she deals with the consequences
Feyre watched the water dripping from her hand, the sound of the splatter in the ceramic bowl slicing through the quiet of the room. She swallowed, her heartbeat speeding up as the cool water on her skin became warm and sticks, the clear liquid turning a dark red.
The roaring in her ear started again, as it always did, and the memories of the dead body in her arms came rushing back. Screaming, she was screaming. Help, help, help–
Her breathing became shallow as she turned the faucet on again, water washing away the phantom blood of her hands as she furiously scrubbed them, so hard that her skin became raw. Two, she thought as she turned the faucet off and waited a few seconds, drawing in a deep breath. One more time.
Again, she turned on the faucet and washed her hands. Three times. These days, Feyre did a lot of things in threes. Three bites, three sips, three knocks, three clicks of her pen. Three times washing her hands.
She stopped the water, dried her hands and left the room. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied something glinting–
A blade. That blade. She jumped forward but two strong hands held her down to make her watch. She struggled, struggled so hard to get free. The blade moved and blood, so much blood–
It was just the reflection of the mirror.
Numb, she was so thoroughly numb that she barely noticed how she put on her shoes and left, her heart hammering in her chest. She didn't notice the stares of the people and she did not register the attention of a familiar blonde, calling out her name. She walked without a purpose, without a destination. Step after step, her breathing growing heavy, a second set of steps an echo behind her.
She didn't think, just letting her legs carry her until she found herself at the familiar, black iron gates.
Hesitation stopped her, for only a moment, before she opened the gate and walked in. The familiar gravel path, past rows and rows of gravestones, past mourning families. Her steps became heavier the closer she came, then she reached it. The gravestone of her husband's father, his mother, his sister. Her husband's gravestone.
Shaking, her legs gave up right under her. The pebbles of the gravel path digging into her knees but she didn't care. She didn't care about that pain because another pain, so much worse, threatened to crack her open.
Heavy breathing turned into sobs, her whole body shaking with them. Vision blurring, she couldn't even see the gravestone through the tears. Feyre's finger rested on the cool stone of Rhys's grave.
The second set of steps stopped behind Feyre. A hand touched her shoulder but she shook it off.
They held her down while she watched him die, she watched him die, she watched him die–
The person knelt down beside her, "Feyre," Mor said gently, "It's me, Mor. It's just me."
Warm hands rested on Feyre's face, wiping her tears away. Feyre blinked furiously, making sense of Mor's face, who smiled sadly, her own tears running down her cheeks. Feyre basically threw herself in Mor's arms as a new wave of tears overcame her.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry, It's my fault. I shouldn't–It's my fault." shaking even harder now.
Mor stroked her hand down Feyre's hair, her back. "It's not–"
"It is." Feyre interrupted, her grief seeming unbearable. She was cracking, irrevocably and irreparable breaking, piece by piece. "It should have been me." It should have been me, it should have been me, it should have been me.
"No," Mor said sternly, moving away to take Feyre's face in her hands. Her voice was cracking as she spoke, "It's not your fault, Feyre. It will never be your fault, you couldn't have changed it."
"I could–"
"No." Mor said, taking a deep breath. "Feyre…you're blaming yourself but you know how Rhys is. He did it to protect you, to protect us all. He sacrificed himself for our future and he would have done it again. You couldn't have talked him out of it, no one could have."
"I can't–" You're here, you survived. Feyre shook her head, she didn't want to be here. Not without Rhys, she didn't want to be here if he wasn't. It didn't make sense. "There's nothing," she admitted, resting her hand over her heart. "My future was with Rhys, he was always there. There isn't a future without him, there's only darkness. All," her breath hitched, "All consuming darkness where once this bright future was. I can't do it. He should be here, he can't be– he can't be…dead. I can't–we can't–"
Mor gripped Feyre's hand, "We can, Feyre. It's going to be a long path and the grief will never be gone but…we will learn how to deal with it. I will be at your side, Cassian will be, so will be Az and even Amren. We will heal, together, and we will not leave each other's sides." Mor wiped away her tears with her free hand. "Rhys would want that."
Feyre knew she was right but it hurt. Once the darkness was something she didn't fear with Rhys at her side, now there was always a light burning because she couldn't bear it. Silence was always comfortable until Rhys was gone and it became heavy. The empty bedside was a painful reminder of the hole that lived inside her, that would never be gone. The house was suddenly so big without Rhys's presence, every step echoed inside her head. Rhys's chair was empty, his belongings untouched. Feyre kept away from the dining table because she still subconsciously set a plate for him. His scent began to fade, Feyre clawing at the memory of it, wanting to bury it down inside her and never forget her. Everything was the same and everything was different.
She doubted that she could ever learn to deal with the pain but nonetheless, she tightened her grip on Mor's hand.
They stayed there for long, unmoving, until the sun began to set.
Feyre would have been content with letting the darkness swallow her whole, to not see the next sunrise, but Mor took her hand and led her from the graveyard. She didn't let go of Feyre, as though she could slip away any moment. Feyre supposed that was very much a possibility.
“Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”
– Jamie Anderson
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acourtofwips · 1 year
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Some sort of dark au
X
“Hello Feyre, darling.”
The words hit her like a physical blow, the memories crashing into her like the vicious waves of a storm. The voice so familiar it tore savagely at the deepest part of her soul— impossible. Her hands shook as they went up to cover the scream that wanted to rip out of her throat, her chest, her heart. Impossible.
She had not heard that voice in what felt like centuries but was really just shy of a decade. It was the voice that haunted both her dreams and her nightmares. It was his voice. Rhysand.
“What are you doing here?” growled Tamlin.
Feyre looked at him, having momentarily forgotten he was even there— he knew.
“H-how” her voice cracked and faded in her throat.
Tamlin turned to look at her, “Feyre,” his eyes were pleading but she was already too far gone.
Her stomach tightened and turned, the urge to vomit so strong she swayed where she stood.
Impossible. “How long have you known he’s alive?” It came out in a scream, angry tears already sliding down her cheeks. Her body shook so much, it took all her strength to keep herself standing.
“Feyre, I— please let me explain. But not here, come with me. Let’s go home.” Tamlin’s words were careful, as if he were talking to a wild, rabid animal. In a way, he was.
He reached for her and she snatched her arm away from him, ignoring the stricken look on his face. Then she turned her attention to Rhysand, taking him in with a greedy hunger she had not felt in years. He took a step towards her and she took a step back.
“My love,” his voice was painfully tender, achingly familiar— her heart hurt.
“You said you would come find me. You said you would always come find me—“ her voice broke.
“I’m here now,” He stepped toward her again, arms outstretched.
No.
She could not think she could not breathe— she needed to get out of there.
X
Ok that’s all I’ve got— I just got off work and this scene was playing over and over all morning sksksksk T T
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im-fostering-it292 · 2 years
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Does anyone know of any good Feysand Modern AU Fanfics?
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Best mistake
Azriel x Reader
Summary; Reader doesn't quite understand how mating bonds work.
Warnings; Mentions of sex
Masterlist
Velaris was always beautiful during the day, but during the night? It was a sight of dreams, if you really think about it; that’s one of the reasons it is called court of dreams. Because of this you decided that tonight’s dinner party should be held in the main balcony of the house of wind where the view was spectacular. Thankfully Feyre and Nesta volunteered to help you, otherwise you wouldn’t have made it. You were so lucky that Nesta preferred the bookstore you worked at, because if she didn’t you wouldn’t have met the inner circle, they wouldn’t become your family too and most importantly you wouldn’t have met him. The night court’s shadowsinger-your mate. Technically he wasn’t your mate-mate yet if that’s a thing, but you were making progress. You knew you had to accept him as your mate but with everything going on -the recent war, the reconstruction of Velaris and his missions- it was nearly impossible to find a free day -or several (wink wink)- for the mating ceremony. You still had no clue how you would accept him but the idea of asking anyone filled you with embarrassment. You are a fae for crying out loud shouldn’t you know this already?
You and Feyre were preparing the meals, everything was perfect until you noticed that you both forgot about Azriel’s request; apple pie. You whipped your head in Feyre’s direction to inform her, but she was gone, probably bickering with Nesta for something irrelevant. You shook your head and started making the apple pie. You knew that the house was enchanted, and it could make the food -weird- yet you wanted the dinner to be special and full of love thus you made all the food.
Everything was set and by the beating sound of wings you knew that Cassian, Azriel and Rhysand were approaching the house. You took your apron off and headed to the balcony.  Just a moment before the males landed, black smoke filled the air and Mor, Elain and Amren fell into the balcony. You laughed at their panting knowing that they were probably racing the boys here.
Strong arms engulfed you from behind and the musky scent of cedar and whiskey had you shivering. His face rested in your neck where he left a soft kiss.
“Hello angel” his voice melodic and soft like the finest velvet.
You just leaned back enjoying his Illyrian warmth and closing your eyes.
“Enough I’m starving” Cassian exclaimed earning a growl from your mate.
Soon everyone was devouring your food, complimenting you. After everyone was finished, you and Feyre walked back inside to get the desserts, you picked a plate and filled it with apple pie keeping the rest in the kitchen in case Azriel wanted more, after all you made it for him. As soon as Feyre had moved the desserts to the table you picked the plate and walked back outside, taking a seat next to Azriel you placed it in front of him without interrupting his conversation with Rhysand. He was briefing him about his last mission, so lost in the discussion that he didn’t notice your movement. Cassian did though and leaned back in his chair a smirk forming on his face. You lifted your eyebrow and he just shrugged pulling his gaze from you.
Azriel stopped talking and picked up his fork taking a piece of the apple pie, he chewed and a low moan left his mouth.
“This is amazing” he said, already picking a second piece.
“Really? I made it for you” you smiled excitedly.
Silence.
Everyone’s head whipped towards you. Azriel gulped, his eyes wide.
“What?” You asked. Fear filled your body.
Rhysand was standing up slowly as to not provoke the shadowsinger.
“Y/n don’t you know that this is how you accept the mating bond?” Feyre spoke her gaze fixed on Azriel. You gave her a confused look. “Offering food.” She specified.
“But we made all the food and we’ve done it again before” your voice barely above a whisper.
“Did you make the apple pie specifically for Azriel?” Cassian asked the smirk never leaving his face and his eyes filled with amusement. He knew.
You nodded.
“There you have it. You just accepted the bond and sent your mate into a sexual frenzy” he boomed. Your jaw almost touched the ground.
“You saw me leaving the plate there…you knew… why didn’t you tell me?” You shouted.
“I wouldn’t be able to enjoy this” he leaned back more and placed his hands behind his head.
Your gaze turned to Azriel who was shaking and then you felt it too. Every feeling was million times stronger, his scent filling all of your senses making you clench your thighs, a faint smell of your arousal leaving your body.
Azriel lifted his gaze on you, his eyes filled with darkness and dominance.
“Do you want this?” His voice feral and possessive.
“Yes” you breathed.
In an instant you were in his arms, his wings flaring behind him.
“Don’t come to the cabin” he growled to the others and with that you were on the sky, a yelp leaving your lips.
He glanced at you and then you decided.
This was the best mistake you’ve ever made.
Requests are open.
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Baby, Mine
Azriel x Reader - Angst/Fluff - One shot
Rhys returns from under the mountain and Azriel’s life is changed forever as a bond snaps with the female his brother brings back with him. After an unexpected pregnancy is revealed, Azriel strives to show his mate just how much she and their child mean to him. Please read warnings below.
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Warnings: discussion of rape and S/A, pregnancy resulting from rape, mentions of trauma, language, mention of pregnancy termination
“We should get up. My stomach’s growling.”
“And I thought it was just the little one chatting with my shadows.” Azriel teased, flushing beneath her gaze as his scarred fingers traced lightly over the growing swell of her abdomen, becoming more apparent by the day. He’d been nervous touching it for the first time, like he’d desecrate that precious life force growing underneath with his hands that had inflicted so much pain. But the way her eyes lit up the first time he touched it, he never wanted to forget the feeling of love and joy radiating into him through that newfound bond. It was beautiful - made him feel worthy of helping raise the beautiful life she was bringing into the world.
Though her stomach growled again, she made no move to get up, and by the way her hands were holding onto him, Azriel knew better than to go retrieve a plate from the House of Wind’s kitchen for her. So he sent a shadow beneath the door to see if Nuala or Cerridwen were there and if they could bring leftovers in, that is if Cassian and Mor hadn’t devoured the entire breakfast already.
“How’s she doing?” Rhys asked into his mind.
“Better than some days but not great, Rhys.”
There was a pause before Rhys’ guilty voice reentered his conscious.
“She’s the most selfless person I know, Az. I’m glad you two have eachother. But if she needs anything, if you need anything, let me know.”
And she was. Selfless in a way that Azriel couldn’t fathom. Selfless in a way that made his gut churn, a way he wanted to roar at the moon and the stars, and anyone who would listen. Selfless when she should have never had to be. She was bright and radiant and kind. The world looked at her and saw ethereal sunshine, walking starlight, unfathomable beauty both inside and out. But there was darkness and pain there too, so buried down deep that only Azriel could feel it in the middle of the night as whimpers disrupted her sleep.
So many nights Rhys would have to come in and cradle her mind, send her soothing thoughts and visions of anything beautiful that could mask the perils that haunted her dreams.
Azriel hated himself for it, the jealousy. He wished he could soothe her in that way but no matter how much love he sent through their bond, that darkness rooted itself so deeply within her that sometimes it took significant power from Rhys to reach it.
As if Rhys wasn’t already fighting his own trauma and waging against the insurmountable guilt he carried after being under the mountain, plus worrying about Feyre in the Spring Court. And that wasn’t to say Y/N was a burden in any way, though she felt she was. It killed Azriel to see both his mate and his brother fighting so much grief and not being able to do anything about it.
She’d have been better suited to be Rhysand’s mate than Azriel’s own by their intertwined traumas, by their ability to put themselves aside for a better world. Azriel, of course, fit into this court of dreamers but she… despite only being here for such a short period of time, she was the biggest dreamer of them all.
Another rumble from her stomach snapped Azriel out of his thoughts, mentally noting to Rhys, “She could use breakfast.”
“I’ll send some for both of you. You need to take care of yourself too.”
Azriel smelled the salt of her tears before he saw the silver lining her eyes. Propping himself up on an elbow, draping a wing over her, he began to ask softly, “Hey-“. Her head immediately shaking and she choked on the word, “No.”
“Baby, I know what you’re thinking and it’s not a burden. He just wanted to know if you needed anything.”
She took a few deep breaths, willing away those tears. “He doesn’t have to check on me. It’s my f-“
“Stop that. Listen to me, I’m always here to listen to you and I know that you’re dealing with complex emotions and trauma that I cannot even begin to fully fathom but this.. it’s not your fault.”
Her eyes welled up further as Azriel continued,
“I don’t want to lecture you or invalidate what you are feeling. Your emotions are justified but… these thoughts will eat you alive, they’re vicious lies that have been conditioned into you, and I can promise you that nobody blames anything on you. This entire family is so fucking grateful to have you as a part of it. In a world of darkness, where you had every right, every reason to bring that darkness with you, you chose light.”
He choked on his words as those tears flowed down her face. “You chose light when it only brought more darkness upon yourself.”
She cut him off. “She’s not darkness.”
Azriel raised an eyebrow. “She?”
And through her tears, he saw the slightest gleam of radiance in her eyes. “I can just feel it. Feel her.”
Azriel pressed a kiss to Y/N’s belly. “Yes, you are absolutely right. She is not darkness - she’s a beacon of light, the brightest star in the sky, perhaps aside from her mother - but the mental load you are carrying, it is dark and it’s heavy. And yes, you would carry darkness with you regardless of this spark of hope” he rubbed her belly in tender circles for emphasis. “But I know that mind of yours. That you are telling yourself that you’re a burden, that you made the wrong choice, when there was no wrong choice.”
At this point, the tears were streaming down her face, his shadows dutifully whisking them away, but only gratitude and love flowed from her.
A knock came on the door. Azriel’s eyes glazed over as Y/N recognized the telltale signs of what was happening. A line creased in his brow before she placed a gentle hand on his arm. “It’s okay, he can come in.”
“You sure, my love? He understands when you need space.”
She nodded. “I know but I think I need to see him today.” Azriel brushed his thumb in soothing ministrations across her abdomen until she pulled her night gown back down to cover herself.
The door creaked open and Rhys padded over to the bed, guilt and adoration limning his features. “Hey, starshine.” She blushed at the term. She hated her own name after Amarantha had called it so many times under the mountain. Rhys had begun calling her Starshine in secret due to her Day Court origins and the fact that he was convinced she’d been more suited for the Night Court.
Rhys had been drawn to her under the mountain, something about her reminding him of his brother. Rhysand could admit that Azriel was the most beautiful of the three brothers, his features seemingly crafted by the gods themselves. But if Azriel’s features were crafted by the gods, Y/N’s were crafted by the Mother herself. Aside from that, she had a quiet presence, though far less stoic and broody than Azriel’s, it was more of a quiet, gentle grace. A grace that Amarantha had tried so hard to shed her of but was never quite successful.
Amarantha, of course, made it her mission to both seek pleasure from her and torment her. When she never fully broke, Amarantha decided that instead of throwing her to the dark corridors she stuffed most lesser fae in, she’d make an excellent play thing. She looked mostly High Fae after all, yet had enhanced sexual appeal due to her nymph ancestry - perfect high and round breasts, long legs, a firm yet supple ass, and an arousing scent - needless to say, Amarantha delighted to add her to her roster of bed chamber accompaniment.
Y/N and Rhys developed a quiet understanding of each other and the roles they were forced to play in the year that she’d been under the mountain before Feyre arrived. They did not grow close enough for Amarantha to become concerned but enough that she knew her play things got along well enough to bring them both into her chambers at the same time.
Rhys would never forget the first time Amarantha had forced he and her into her chambers at the same time. Y/N tried to be strong, and she was. Another aspect of her that reminded him of his brother.
But she began to crack slightly, and Rhys knew Amarantha would make it so much worse for her if she did. So he did the only thing he knew to do and held her mind. He showed her visions of the Night Skies of the Night Court, the spirits of Starfall, the laughter of a family surrounding a table in a beloved restaurant, anything that could help her through it.
As he held her mind, she’d unwittingly sent visions from throughout her twenty-two years of life prior to being captured and brought under the mountain. She was loved deeply by her family who had little more than love to give. Eventually they had been murdered by Amarantha’s cronies at the age of nineteen - she’d been able to escape and live among the High Fae who sneered and objectified her, but offered enough coin to sleep with her to keep a roof over her head.
Rhys had determined that night that if they ever made it out of there alive, he was taking her to Velaris with him. She’d never live like that again.
He even smiled at the thought of introducing her and Azriel when she was ready to meet his family, already picturing his brother’s rose-dusted cheeks in her presence.
“Thank you” Azriel’s low voice withdrew Rhys from his thoughts, taking the plate from his hands.
A familiar scent wafted off of Rhys to Y/N. Pregnancy had heightened her sense of smell substantially.
As she sniffed the air Rhys gave a soft, sad smile at the eye brow she raised at him before asking, “Where is she?”
He shook his head, darkness rolling in waves off of him. “Tamlin locked her in his fucking manor. She had a breakdown.”
Her face drew tight. “That bastard!” Azriel flinched at the rage flowing down the bond. “She must have been terrified.”
“She certainly terrified the servants in his manor. She shrouded herself in darkness and nobody could get through to her.”
“He doesn’t deserve her.”
Rhys nodded. “He doesn’t.”
“You didn’t answer my question, Rhys. Where is she?”
“At the Town House.”
Her eyes blew wide. “Cauldron boil me, is she staying?”
Azriel smiled as he felt her excitement flow into him. A bit of that Day Court sunshine returning to her.
“I don’t know. She knows she can’t tell anyone if she goes back, but…”
“I felt it through the bond, Y/N. I think she’s here to stay.”
Azriel’s shadows agitated at the pause in verbal conversation, chattering back and forth,
“Secrets”
“Secrets”
He rolled his eyes and dismissed them, already knowing there were some things that remained between just Y/N and Rhys. He’d accepted it the very moment he’d shown up after he received word that Rhys was finally home and the bond snapped as soon as he laid eyes upon the radiant female by his side. He knew it snapped for her too when she walked right up to him, touched the hands he tried to hide behind his back, her eyes speaking everything she couldn’t. “I see your scars. I bear them too.” And pressed a kiss to each hand.
“Do you want me to leave? I assume she’s at the Town House but I’m sure she’ll be visiting here too, yes?”
Azriel bristled. No way in hell was Rhys going to make his mate leave, whether this home was his or not, she had a right to be present wherever she wished.
“Easy brother.”
Azriel shook off the feeling. The mating instinct was still so strong that he had a hard time not jumping in to defend her at the thought of any threat, physical or emotional.
“Y/N” Rhys took her hand.
“Don’t bite my head off for holding her hand, either.”
Azriel huffed before firing back to Rhys’ mind “I can’t wait for you to find your mate someday so you can see what it feels like to be so wound up like this.”
Rhys only gave a small, secret smile in return.
Y/N interjected. “Are you two done gossiping or can I know whether I should pack up or not?”
“This is your home just as much as it is my home. You are my family and I want Feyre to meet all of you. Cassian has already barreled through the door of the Town House along with Mor begging to be fed. Feyre went up to nap and recollect herself.”
“Can we have dinner with her… if she wants to?” She asked softly with a mixture of excitement and nervousness to her voice.
Rhys gave a nod. “I was thinking that same thing. Would you be comfortable?”
She nodded before the reality of the situation caught up with her.
“Y/N.” Rhys leaned in, gently tilting her head up to look at him. “I am not ashamed of you. I will never hide you or the life you are selflessly bringing into this Court of Dreamers.” His eyes lined with silver. “And I will always be so proud of the love that you both share. I knew from the moment I met you that my brother would adore you. And the fact that you two are mates? It’s one of the greatest things to come from that shit hole of a mountain. A reminder of the beauty that can prevail, even after the most dreadful of circumstances. I love all three of you.”
Azriel held his mate closely, ensuring she felt just how loved she truly was.
“She kicked for the first time the other day.”
Rhys raised a brow.
Y/N let out a sigh. “Ugh, you two are so skeptical. I really believe that this baby is a girl.”
Rhys eyed the scarred hand protectively placed over her round bump, so many complicated emotions running through him, with love being the strongest.
“Feyre will likely ask questions tonight regarding all of us, our stories. Nobody has to share anything they do not wish to, but you also may share if you are comfortable doing so. I would really like for Feyre to become a member of the Inner Circle-“
Rhys looked to Y/N rolling his eyes at the smirk and waggling eyebrows she gave him.
“Stop that. My point is just that, I would like for her to know all of you. I know she’ll love you all just as I do. Hell, she’ll probably love all of you before she’s ready to even fully tolerate me.”
Azriel let out a chuckle as his mate quipped “Tell me the story of the time she threw a shoe at you. It’s my favorite!”
“You cruel, lovely little thing.” Rhys laughed. “See you both for dinner.”
As Rhys exited them room, Y/N sighed. “You were awfully quiet.”
Az nudged her. “And that surprises you?”
“Okay, quieter than usual.”
Azriel pulled her in close, peppering kisses across her forehead. “I just don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for. You are still healing and now you’ll be facing someone else that was under the mountain with you.”
“She saved us all, Az.” She looked up into his hazel eyes with nothing but genuine adoration. “Without her, I never would have met you. And what kind of existence would that be?”
She began picking at the plate Rhys had brought in. Letting out a moan as the flavors burst on her tongue.
Az couldn’t help the involuntary twitch of his wings at the sound.
She laughed. “Don’t get any ideas until I’m finished with my food.”
Azriel raised his palms. “I’d never get between my pregnant mate and her meal. With the way she’s started moving, she’d likely kick me away anyway.”
She took another bite while nonchalantly commenting, “I thought of a name for her.”
“Oh yeah?” Azriel’s brows raised in anticipation of a potential name for their child.
“Azure. The same blue as the skies. I thought…”
Azriel cut her off, marveling at the name. Whispering more to himself than her. “Blue like the Day Court skies, blue like the skies that I love to take you flying in.”
She flushed. “Yes, exactly. And though it’s a different shade of blue, like your siphons.”
A lone tear escaped his eye. “And,” she continued with a coy smile. “We could call her ‘Az’”
Azriel sat still for a moment. And she would have thought he didn’t like it had it not been the rush of pure shock and awe flowing through the bond.
Suddenly he took her face in his hands, barely giving her time to swallow the bite of bacon she’d just taken, and crashed his lips into hers. And after her lips were swollen and puffy from the heat of his lips, he began pressing kisses all over her belly, whispering between them, “I love you, little Az. I love you more than the skies I fly in. More than my own name. More than any dreamer could dream of being loved. I can’t wait to fly you through the open skies, and show you every shade of blue this beautiful world has to offer. Nothing in this world matters more than you and your mother. I couldn’t be more proud to be your father.”
And he meant it. Every single word. The blood running through the baby growing inside of his mate didn’t need to be his, what mattered was the love flowing within the child and he intended to pour every single ounce of love he had into their baby.
It was Y/N though who broke down at those words. She and Azriel had spent every free moment together since meeting. He’d healed her in ways that she never could have dreamed. Finding her mate changed the time after Under the Mountain from the lonesome trauma reckoning hellhole she’d anticipated and into a time of healing. He listened to her, understood her, let her set the pace in every aspect. And he’d shared his trauma with her, all of it.
The child who had been abused by a wicked stepmother and horrid step-brothers, overlooked by his own father had grown up to be loving, caring, and patient in every way. And now, he was going to be the parent of a child that was not his by conception, choosing to love the child just as he would his very own. A vow he’d sworn in their mating vows and sealed with a bargain.
“What is it, love?” Azriel wiped away her tears.
“Stupid hormones. I just love you so much and I need you to know that you are so much more than I ever could have dreamed of. If I had to, I would go through it all again as long as it led me to you.”
Azriel’s eyes began watering again. “Look at us, Y/N. We’re quite a sight. Whatever you say tonight, just don’t let Cassian know that I’ve gotten so soft.”
Her glassy eyes sparkled as she gave a sweet smile. “I have a feeling that softness has already been there, my love, I just had the privilege of coaxing it out of you.”
He smiled. “Truth Teller personified.”
————————-
“We’re heading up now.” Rhys’ voice cut into Y/N’s mind.
“Are you sure about this, Rhys? Most of them do not know what all happened under the mountain. What if it’s too much for Feyre to take in?”
“She’s my mate, I have to hope that she will love and accept us all in time. It may be a lot to meet us and hear our stories but they’re a part of us, a part of loving us. I’m worried about Cassian scaring her off more than anything.”
“Valid concern. See you soon. Despite the circumstances, I’m so happy she’s here.”
“You know,” Rhys chuckled. “I feel the same way about you, Starshine.”
“You flatter me. Now enjoy your flight with the literal girl of your dreams.”
“She’s glaring daggers at me right now. Pray I make it there alive.”
“Where’d you go?” Az nudged.
Leaning into her mate’s side, embracing the warmth of his arms wrapped around her shoulders she replied, “Rhys and Feyre are on the way.”
“Are you ready for this?” He asked.
“I’m sure you can already feel my nerves down the bond but I appreciate you for asking.” She teased.
Azriel kept his pace slow as they wound through the hallways of the House of Wind toward the dining table. “If you’re not ready…”
She took a steadying breath. “No, he needs to get off on a solid foundation with her. And Cassian, Mor, and Amren have eyed us for a while, they realize that something is off. Plus, I mean, look at this thing.” Her delicate hands found her stomach. “They’re going to figure out that the timelines don’t match up soon enough.”
“Our girl IS growing.” Azriel spoke, not missing the opportunity to feel the life growing within his mate.
She teased, “You’ve referred to the babe as “her” a few times now. Coming around to the idea?”
“I know better than to go against your intuition.”
With that, Y/N gave a wicked grin. “Mother knows best.”
As they approached the dining room, Azriel pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be right by your side.”
She beamed. “And I’ll be by yours too, with whatever you may share tonight…and forever, of course.”
As everyone arrived and gathered at the dining table, Y/N couldn’t help but admire how lovely Feyre and Rhys were together. Though she hated the situation that brought her there, that Tamlin tried to hoard her away in his manor, she couldn’t help but feel joy knowing that she was finally beginning to see the true Rhysand.
The Inner Circle kept up with the typical antics and plenty of laughter filled the space, but the conversation eventually turned more serious as everyone took turns giving Feyre insight into themselves.
Feyre looked to Y/N with curiosity. “You were under the mountain, but Azriel was not?”
Her hands shook as she prepared to share. A warmth covered them as Azriel gave a gentle squeeze, sending waves of that reassurance in abundance. She took a breath.
She began by sharing the background of her family, their deaths, that she’d sold her body to survive afterward, how she’d only been under the mountain for a year before Feyre arrived.
“You didn’t know Azriel before they took you?” Feyre asked. Not harshly, just inquisitively.
Y/N held her head high. Her story was not one to be ashamed of.
“I did not. Rhys was one of the only souls to show me kindness under the mountain. I have nymph ancestry with primarily High Fae features. Amarantha took an interest in me and….”
An unreadable expression covered Rhys’ face. This was his trauma too, but he gave a reassuring nod.
“She began taking me to her chambers. I had no choice. It was warm her bed, or face physical torture until death.”
Feyre flinched along with Rhys. Y/N recognized that they were remembering the human girl Amarantha had tortured to death just before Feyre’s arrival.
“She also, against our hopes, realized that Rhysand and I had an understanding of eachother - serve her or die. Being the lust-driven wretch that she was, she began taking us both to her chambers. There was no room for weakness in there. She wanted us just weak enough to submit to her, but we had to remain strong in every other aspect. The first time she had Rhys and I, together,” she cleared her throat, giving pause before continuing, “Rhys saved me. I began to crack, and he held my mind. I will let Rhys speak on his own trauma and the mental load he carried, but he didn’t hesitate to help me get through it. It was not the last time he had to help me through it.”
The table was completely silent. Heart-wrenching expressions filled each face at the table. Palpable rage could be felt radiating off of Amren, though her face remained straight.
Her voice began cracking. Azriel pulled her close into him. “When you saved us,” She looked to Feyre. “I don’t mean to fawn or gawk over you, but Feyre, you did save us.” Feyre gave an empathetic look, nodding to Y/N to continue. “Rhys brought me back to Velaris because he couldn’t bear for me to return to the life I was living, because this Court of Dreams is made up of individuals who have lived through terrible traumas and, despite every reason to lead bitter lives- have chosen to dream of a better world. To fight for a better world. And he knew a certain Shadowsinger and I would get on quite well. In fact, he’s been a smug bastard ever since over just how well things went between us.”
“When I met him.” She stared lovingly to Azriel who swallowed a lump in his throat. “The bond snapped between us immediately. The same day I was brought here, I met my mate.”
Instinctively she placed her hands on the swell of her abdomen. “Rhys gave Azriel leave to spend time with me, for him to help me through the aftermath of what I’d been through…”
“But two weeks after arriving back, my scent began to shift.” Mor’s brows furrowed in contemplation.
“I became very sick shortly after that. Rhys called in a healer, Madja, who confirmed that I was two and a half months pregnant.”
Cassian audibly gasped and Mor murmured “Oh my gods.”
Azriel kept his composure for the sake of his mate, but this was killing him. His brother and his mate being forced by that fucking witch. “Azriel is not the biological father of this baby. The child was conceived under the forced coupling of Rhysand and I by Amarantha.”
Feyre’s face was a mix of sadness, and rage, and sympathy.
“There were options to terminate the pregnancy. However, due to my Nymph ancestry, such options can have negative, potentially deadly effects. Aside from that, though I never planned to have a child - I couldn’t bear the thought of losing another family member. Rhys, after losing his family, felt the same, which he only expressed after I shared my feelings with him. He was completely supportive of any decision I made.” Feyre looked to Rhys and then back to Y/N, no negative judgement written on those lovely features.
Y/N looked to Azriel with a loving grin “And Azriel- he took me to a priestess that night. We both wanted to accept the bond from the moment we met, the connection was unbelievably strong, I never believed in the power of the bond until I found him. And now because he’s ever the romantic, though I see him already blushing at the mention of it, he wanted to make a vow before the Mother - a vow to love me no matter what choice I made, a vow to love the life within me as his very own child, to love and cherish us both until his last breath.”
She pulled the sleeve off of her shoulder, revealing the intricate tattoo solidifying his vow.
“And Rhys,” She gave a soft smile. “He made a bargain to love and care for this child and to recognize Azriel as its father. We will not hide the parentage from our child. And Rhys, I know, already loves them dearly, but mine and Azriel’s decisions for our baby come first and will be respected as any biological parents would.”
She’d left out the part where Azriel had gone under the mountain to investigate later on and found that Amarantha had begun supplying a fertility tonic instead of birth control to Y/N after the Calanmai that Rhys had gone to the Spring Court and seen Feyre. Though she didn’t know who Rhys saw, she likely suspected he’d developed interest in someone else and become jealous, hoping an accidental pregnancy would either create a rift in any potential relationship or, even worse, that the baby could be used as leverage against him.
The table remained silent until Rhys chimed in. “So my brother is my child’s father. I’m sure stranger things have happened.”
Despite that sadness the Inner Circle felt, Rhysand’s comment elicited smiles. Azriel gave his brother a nod of thanks for breaking the tension while affectionately caressing his mate.
Mor eased the tension further by chiming in “Y/N! You are further along than we realized which means….. we get to go shopping for our newest family member sooner!!!”
Feyre decided soon after that she would like to work with the Court of Dreams.
————————-
Epilogue
Because his mate was always right, Azriel was indeed the father of a beautiful little girl, clever and stubborn like her mother, and the light of his life. Her mother the sun, and she the moon.
He and Rhys had just returned from taking “Baby Azzie” who was now a toddler to get pastries along the Sidra. Azriel returned with his half-asleep daughter in his arms, who perked up upon seeing her baby brother cooing in his bassinet. “Nyxie!!” She yelled, hurrying over to the winged babe. Rhys, however, arrived with numerous shopping bags in his own arms.
Feyre, who had been lounging with her head on Y/N’s shoulder gave the two a big smile. Y/N raised an eyebrow. “All of that better be for Nyx.”
Azriel and Rhys shared a laugh before Rhys spoke. “Well, half of it is, but only because someone batted her little lashes at us repeating ‘Brother, present. Brother, present’ until we took her into what is conveniently her favorite toy store.” Az cut in, “And because my brother is getting soft in his old age” before Rhys could remind Azriel that he was, in fact, the older of the two, Az continued, “Rhys had to buy something for her for every item she picked out for Nyx.”
Y/N groaned. “Cassian literally just bought her five new toys and six new outfits on their last outing.”
The raven-haired toddler with her mother’s nose and radiant skin, Rhys’ smile, and by some gift of the Mother - had Azriel’s golden-flecked hazel eyes, toddled up to Feyre, giving her a big hug. She then turned to her mother, leaning in to whisper something, that came out as quietly as a yell. “I got something for sissy too. Daddy has it in the pocket realm.”
Y/N’s face flushed as Rhys and Feyre gaped. “So much for keeping that a secret for a little longer.”
Feyre squealed leaning in and throwing her arms around Y/N. “I thought that maybe I was getting allergies, your scent hasn’t been as strong but you were glamouring it!”
Rhys pulled Azriel into a long hug, then walked over to Y/N with a wide smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
Azriel placed a hand on his chest as he took in the sight of his blended family. It wasn’t what he’d ever expected but, to him, it was everything.
788 notes · View notes
mischiefmanagers · 17 hours
Text
Rhysand Fic Rec Library 🦇💜
"Rhysand is the most handsome High Lord. Rhysand is the most delightful High Lord. Rhysand is the most cunning High Lord."
here's a list of one hundred Rhysand x Reader and Rhysand x OC fics to celebrate the most handsome High Lord ✨
🌼 personal favorite 🥀 angst 💞 fluff 🔥 smut
by @sarawritestories
The Most Beautiful High Lady 🥀💞
You Looked Like You Could Use a Partner 💞
by @lalacliffthorne
starshine (series) 🥀💞
by @marvelsmylife
Not As It Seems 🥀💞
Protecting his high lady 🥀💞
I think I wanna marry you 💞
by @swansworth
The Handsome Stranger 🥀💞
My High Lady 🔥
by @writingsbychlo
how we survive 🥀 platonic Rhysand x Reader but it's AMAZING
Home To Us 💞🌼
How to Save a Life 💞
by @azrielsdove
The High Lords 🥀🔥
Til Death Do Us Part 🥀🔥
Money, Power, Glory 🥀
Beautiful Girl 🥀💞
by @historiaxvanserra
What Our Souls Are Made Of 🥀💞
by @honeybeefae
Pretty Little Tears 🔥
by @wishfulwithwine
The Great War 🥀
by @leafsandstarlight
Against Your Brother's Wishes 🥀💞
Easy Like Sunday Morning 💞🔥
Welcome Distraction 🔥
Little Reminders 💞
by @cherhys
Anything, Always 🥀💞
Colliding Visions 💞
by @k-daydreams
Touch in the Dark 🥀
by @azsazz
Dioxazine 💞
Lavender Haze
Hung Up 🔥
by @jeannineee
Pining 🥀
Daddy Kink 🔥
by @ughthatimagineblog
love and loathing 💞🔥
forever and a day 💞
by @fieldofdaisiies
I Never Mean to Hurt You 🥀
by @daydreaming-nerd
The Bonds That Break Us 💞🥀🔥
by @hellcat8908
Returning Home 🥀💞
by @thehighladywrites
This Isn't Goodbye, This Is Simply See You Later 💞🥀🔥
Just One More, I Know You Can Do It 💞🔥
by @lure-of-writing
Where my soul can rest 🥀
by @saphirered
The Ice Queen and the High Lord 🔥
May We Meet Again
by @bookish-whore
'Til Death 💞
Never Made A Difference 🥀
by @tadpolesonalgae
mine 🔥
Knocked up 🔥
by @itsphoenix0724
Promises 🥀
by @fanttasttica
I hate you more.. 🥀
Shy priestess 💞
Finding you 🔥
Your love healed me 🥀💞
Just love me 🥀
One plus one makes three 💞
by @illyrian-dreamer
Dance with the devil
Make a bargain with me 💞🥀
by @azrielbrainrot
My Body Keeps Saying it's Yours 🔥
by @b00kdiary
Dreamer
by @solbaby7
Lose Control 💞
Put On A Show 🔥
Testing the Waters 💞🔥🌼
by @luxsky
Kicking out 💞
by @themusingsofacurlyhairednerd
Warm Me Up 💞🔥
Datura
by @starstruckunknown-princess
Black Rose 🥀
by @acourtofwhatthefuck
Needs Must 🔥
With Me, Always 🥀💞
Shrinking Violet 🔥
Forget Me Not 💞
by @lanitalay
At sea 💞🥀
by @redheadspark
Truth 💞🥀
Carry 💞🥀
My Pleasure 💞
Title 💞
by @azrielslightintheshadows
Game night disaster 🥀
Between you and danger 🥀
by @danikamariewrites
Take Them All Down 🥀🌼
Only For You 💞
Pointless Meetings 💞
Pranks 💞
by @bloodycassian
winter court runaway
by @thevanserrras
The Stolen Night 🥀💞
by @thelov3lybookworm
Winter Without You 🥀
Love Needs No Voice
by @prythianpages
Wanna Be Yours 💞
by @milswrites
Out of the Mountain 🥀
by @readychilledwine
Requiem for a Dream (series) 🥀💞
Broken 🥀
Flight Patterns 🥀💞🌼
Subtle 💞
Scream 🔥
Plot Measure 🥀
Drumming Song 🔥
Family Matters 🔥
Pieces of You 🥀🌼
by @clairebear08
Questioning Motives 🔥
by @serpentandlily
Falling Apart for You 🥀
by @shadowdaddies
Heavy is the Head 🥀💞🔥
Crawl to Me 🥀🔥
by @throneofsapphics
if you insist 💞
surprise reunions 🔥
by @azriels-shadowsinger
Reunited 💞🥀
by batboylover
secretly mated 🥀💞
224 notes · View notes
court-of-starss · 4 months
Text
Stars of Heartbreak
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Pairing: Rhysand x reader
Summary: He was the stars, the twinkling lights that gave hope to the dreamers who spent their nights bewitched by the hope.
Warnings: just a whole lot of angst.
a/n: This is my first time posting my writing so hopefully it's not too disappointing lmaoo. Would also like to clarify that I am the biggest Feysand simp. Let me know what you think!
Masterlist
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He was the stars, the twinkling lights that gave hope to the dreamers who spent their nights bewitched by the hope. He was the cool soft caress of the night sky, soft touches and nights spent in soft embraces.
That’s where you were now, staring out into the night sky, standing atop the highest balcony in the Night court, his court. One he ruled with the curse breaker, the beautiful human now fae Archeron sister. Feyre wasn’t your enemy; she was the saving grace to all that knew her. She was noble, brave and beautiful. The things you weren’t. At least not anymore.
Not to Rhysand.
Not anymore.
He was not the male who promised you the very stars you were grieving too now. He was not the love that swept you in its warm embrace, nor was he the face that you woke up to every morning. Not since he had found the female that was his mate. Mate. It’s laughable now, you had always hoped, prayed, that it would snap between the two of you. Between every kiss, every smile, every soft touch. You had hoped and hoped until it had consumed you.
But you were not Feyre Archeron.
You were not the fearless human girl who freed him from the terror of Amarantha and her wicked court. You were not the newly made fae who showed him happiness again. You tried. Every nightmare, every terror induced moment after being freed you were by his side. Holding him, reminding him that he was home, safe finally. You were there to help him regain his control of himself, to regain control of his court.
But you weren’t enough, perhaps you never were.
“You’re going to fall over the railing with all that thinking.” His voice always was a calm whisper, a soft caress of night that made all the hairs on your body stand at his command. Whether it was a whisper or a yell, it always has the same affect.
“Maybe.” You said softly to the night sky, the sight too beautiful to look away from. You didn’t want to turn and face him, to face those hypnotizing violet eyes that would always be able to see right through you. But he didn’t mind, he knew it was hard for you to adjust after centuries of whirlwind romance.
“I’ll catch you.” He muttered, soft steps stopping beside you to lean against the same railing. But he wasn’t looking at the night sky, he was reading your face. Noting the lack of sleep evident by the dark bags under your cold eyes.
Cold eyes that used to shine for him, that used to twinkle in amusement when Cassian would laugh at your dumb jokes, jokes that only the two of you understood. Eyes that used to scrunch in concentration when you would massage the cramps out of Azriels hands on the colder days. Eyes that used to scrunch in happiness when you would paint your nails with Mor, the colors different every week depending on the last place his cousin had returned from.
Eyes that used to be full of hope and love, now dull and cold like the rest of you. Because of him.
“I’ll always catch you.” He whispered, a pang going through his chest at the down turn of your lips.
“Rhys.” You warned, scrunching your eyebrows. His name was always your favorite word. You had said it in so many ways, but now it left a sour taste on your tongue.
“You’re killing me.” He moved, his arm gently brushing yours in a warm gentle touch. A touch you would have leaned in to, drawn to every part of him like a moth to a flame. But now? Now you took a step back, breaking your gaze from the stars above to the stars in his eyes.
“Don’t.” You warned again, your arms moving to wrap around yourself. To protect yourself from the broken shell of a heart in your chest that only ever beat for him.
Rhys took a step towards you again, halting in his spot when you took another away from him. He wished he could save you from the pain he had caused, save you from him. A gentle tug on the golden strand in his chest had him turning his gaze to his mate who was watching them from the couch where the rest of his family was. They were all laughing, drinking and soaking in the feel of each other after years of war.
Feyre’s worry radiated through the bond, worry for the female that had sacrificed her own heart for theirs. You watched them in their silent conversation, taking two more steps away from him.
“It’s okay Rhysand, your family is waiting for you.” You said softly, not turning to look into the warmth of the living room. Knowing that if you looked at the family that was once yours, that you would break completely.
Rhys’ gaze snapped back to yours, desperation leaking through the stars swirling in his violet eyes. He swallowed roughly and held out his hand. His hand was wobbling in way you hadn’t witnessed since he returned from the mountain he was held captive. Guilt shot through you, not wanting to cause him any distress, even now.  
“They’re your family too. I’m your family.” He begged, steadying his hand. You shook your head with a soft sad smile and took another step back towards the door behind you, the shadowsinger emerging from the shadows ready to help you depart. Violet eyes snapped to the steady Hazel ones of his brother, confusion and panic flooding him.
“No, you can’t leave.” He always was the smartest in the room, quick to put together the plans of others. And as he watched you accept the cloak from his brother, he felt the panic slid up his throat, felt it fill his eyes with tears he didn’t deserve to shed. Azriel took a step out of the shadows and cleared his throat, gently taking your arm to lead you to the railing once more, his body a strong wall of muscle between you and his brother.
“It’s her choice Rhys.” He said, his tone steady and strong. You were his sister, as much as Rhys was his brother. You slid the hood of the cloak over your head and leaned around Azriel to meet his Violet gaze once more, for the last time.
“I wish nothing but happiness for you Rhys. I will always love you, but that is the reason that I can’t stay here.” You said with a tear-filled smile, taking Azriels hand as he lifted you into his arms, his mighty wings spreading ready to leap into flight.
Rhys watched with tear-soaked cheeks as he watched you fly off into the horizon in his brothers’ arms, overwhelming heartbreak racing through him.
But nothing could prepare him for the sight of his brother returning empty handed, shooting him a pity filled look as he knelt down to hold his weeping brother. Your soft scent clinging to his shadows in a faint caress of what used to be.
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fever-fluff · 5 months
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Home
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Azriel is lost, and cannot seem to find his way home, and it's tearing him apart
word count: 1.1k
Part II
Azriel is spiralling. He had convinced himself he was of equal standing with his brothers, but the past few years has proven otherwise. Three sisters for three brothers, that was what he had convinced himself of, and had seemed to be what Elain had wanted. But the bond he was so convinced was wrong, the bond he was so sure that would break apart as soon as the Cauldron had realised its mistake and weaved one between the two of them instead, never waivered.
And now, he sits opposite that of the woman he is so sure he loves, is the one from him, as she rips his already fractured heart in two. She's crying, and there's no part of Azriel that finds any satisfaction in it, no matter how much he wishes he could. She is the one doing this, choosing Lucien over her. But he cannot blame her.
For a time, they seemed to be happy, even if there were those around him that didn't approve. Lucien had accepted Elain's choice without anger or betrayal, and had wished she could find the happiness in Azriel that she could not seem to find in him.
It was Rhysand and Cassian, the males he called his brothers for centuries now, who had been angry for Lucien. Both of them understood a pain like that - both having to watch as their mates found solace outside their arms for a while.
it had taken weeks of coaxing from Nesta and Feyre for them to even look at him, but whether it was for their sister's benefit or his, he wasn't so sure.
Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, and Azriel found himself the happiest he had ever felt, but it seemed the ever observant spymaster began to miss details. He lost himself in that feeling, not realising the person he found it in was not following down the same path.
It had taken Elain five years to admit her mistake, nothing in the eyes of a fae's long lifespan, but to Azriel he felt like he'd lost centuries.
And now, he watches the world he so sorely craved crumble at his feet with a measly few words.
"I'm sorry, Azriel.... I've hurt so many people because of this. I wanted someone who never should have been mine, while carelessly leaving the male made for me behind."
Azriel had thought his heart had cracked all those years ago when he realised he'd never have Mor in the way he wanted to, but he felt it now. That large, hollow crack that vibrated down the very centre, tearing every string that had slowly began to knit itself together without caring if he could ever mend it again.
He couldn't hear the rest of what Elain said over the cotton in his ears, didn't rise to see her out as she got up and left through the door.
He knows, he knows Lucien hasn't done this, that this is purely Elain's choice. The youngest Vanserra hasn't been seen since Elain had chosen Azriel, off on the continent somewhere with no contact and no sign of ever coming back.
his shadows swirl around him, the thickest they'd been in months. They had never truly gotten used to Elain's presence, and her timidness towards them had Azriel sending them off without a care if it had made her more comfortable. Now, the wrap around him, twisting and turning as if trying to find the ache that their master seemingly has, but finding no open wound.
He takes whatever comfort he can find in them. His shadows have been the only thing that has ever truly been his, no fear of someone ever taking them away from him, being better than him. He is the Night court's Shadowsinger, there is no one else who can fill that role.
And so, Azriel grasps onto that thread and tugs so hard it will either break or rip his hand where it sits. Rhysand cannot find enough problems for him to fix, Cassian refuses to spar more than usual, and his spies have begun to disappear when he is around, leaving their findings in reports he pours over meticulously. He's barely eating, most definitely not sleeping, but he hasn't had to feel the affects of what had happened with Elain.
It's only a matter of time when it fails, Fae are strong, but not indefinitely. It isn't when everyone expects it though.
if not for Cassian, who had watched his brother go down like a rock does when dropped into a pool of water, steady and unmoving, no one would have seen the spymaster hit the treeline so hard they'd ripped his wings to shreds as they lay spread out and lax.
Had waking up been optional, Azriel would have decided against it. Rhysand looked at him with so much pity in his eyes that he had to turn away, Feyre sat at his window, refusing to even acknowledge he was awake.
"You're on leave indefinitely, you're no help to yourself, never mind the rest of us, in the state you're in." Rhysand's words had cut him deeply. His mind swirling as he realised he wasn't good enough to hold the position he'd cherished for centuries. But what could he say against it unless he tried to lie? So he remained silent, eyes downcast as Rhysand went on.
"I'm sending you to the continent, away from -" he didn't need to finish. "With Mor's work, we've made a few connections, and you can stay and figure out for yourself what you need to do."
Azriel looked to Feyre, who had finally moved from the window and stood close to the side of his bed, beside her mate. "Az, please understand, we're worried for you, and this could do you some good."
He scoffed. They had each other to lean on, he had no one - never had anyone to call home. And now they were sending him away from the one place he could pretend to feel like it was. He'd lost the female he loved, and had now lost everything that made him who he was. Why should he even bother...
But the look on Rhysand's face told him he'd order it if it came to it. His brother may always wish those he loved had a choice, but he was still High Lord first, and what Azriel was doing wasn't something he could let slip without repercussions.
He'd go to the continent, spend however long necessary it took to convince his family that he was fit to come back, and he'd hide the despair better. Hide from them all and spend whatever time he could with them before it consumed him whole.
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Can you do prompt #2 of the angst list? With Azriel. Maybe reader (his mate) is tired of everything cause she see him with Elaine.
Opposite
Part 1 | Part 2
Azriel x Reader, Cassian x Best friend!reader, Eris x sister!reader
Warnings: Angst, swearing, cheating, elain slander
Summary: Azriel has started to hang out more with a certain Archeron sister.
Prompts: "Just let me go. Please, I want to leave.”
a/n: the first draft got deleted 😭go stream opposite by sabrina carpenter 😝
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My mate, my husband, my love doesn't love me anymore. It's so painfully obvious that Elain is in love with him the way she clings to him like a leech. At first I thought it was one sided. But as the days go on, it's as if Azriel returns her feelings.
I wanted him to help her, it would help get his mind of other things but how I regret that.
Why does he love her? Why am I not enough?
Elain is beautiful, a kind of beautiful I could never be. Her pale skin a contrast to my tanned skin, she was slender while I was toned. Bright blue eyes to my muddy brown eyes. Soft fingers to my calloused hands.
I compared myself to her every single day, I tried becoming like her but what was the point, he doesn't even notice me anymore.
Their interactions cut through me like a knife. The way he smiles around her. I made him smile like that first. Why does he look so happy with her?
I tried everything, making his favourite food, waiting for him. But of course he didn't care, I still had hope though. Because he still kissed me goodnight, even though he smelt like her. He still told me I love you even though he stayed at hers the whole day. I miss my Azriel.
I had gotten closer to Nesta and Feyre, both of them unknowingly distracting me. I looked forward to the days I painted with Feyre or when I read a book with Nesta.
Finally reaching me and Azriel's shared apartment, I face palmed myself when I realised that I had forgotten the book Nesta recommended at River House. Hurrying I went back to the house. I opened the door and sighed in relief when I saw the book sitting on the table. Grabbing it, I'm about to leave when I hear giggles.
It couldn't be.
I walked to the garden. Yes it could. I gasped when I saw him kissing her. The pain it felt like a thousand daggers being stabbed in me. My heart ached at the sight in front of me.
"You look beautiful my love," Azriel said as he kissed my hand. I giggled.
Was it all a lie? When he said I'm beautiful was he lying to me?
"That's a really pretty picture, Azriel," Elain says. Jealousy hits me like a truck when I see he's drawing her.
He always drew me not Elain.
Azriel smiled to Elain while he placed a flower in her hair.
She looks nothing like me so why does he look so happy?
My thoughts run wild as I race out of the River House and to Madja's office. Knocking on the door, I open it and gasp as the pain becomes too much to bear, my heart feels as if it's being ripped out of my chest and my knees crumple under me. "He cheated on me,". With that black dots fill my vision and I collapse on the floor. I can hear frantic voices faintly in the back of my head.
There's a dull ache in my heart, I can feel pressure on my hand and a soft hum of chatter around me. My eyes flutter open, and I wince as the bright light floods my vision. I gaze around the room my eyes narrowing when I land on Elain and Azriel, "Get out," I whisper.
They both gape at me in shock. "I said 'Get out'" I say louder, my voice sore from crying.
"What, why?" Azriel stares at me dumbfounded. "Don't play dumb with me Azriel, I saw you kissing," I say sharply.
"My love it was a-" I cut off his stupid excuse, "Shut up Azriel, we're over get out," I close my eyes, in case I start crying again.
"Elain, do you need a special fucking invitation?" Cassian bites out. I hear a pair of footsteps scurry out of the room.
"I think I need some time," I breathe out. The pressure on my hand leaves and I open my eyes. "Cass can you stay? please" I say my lip wobbling. I see Nesta give a small nod to Cassian and her and Feyre hug me.
I reprimand myself when tears slip out but only freely escape when the door shuts.
"I went back for my book and saw them," I explain, Cassian pulls me into his chest and lets me cry.
I don't know how long I cry in that hospital bed with Cassian by my side. But after a while I finally have the courage to say "I'm gonna go visit my brothers for a while,". He only nods in understanding.
After a restless sleep I'm discharged by Madja, and I head to me and Azriel's apartment. Seeing him asleep on the couch, I tiptoe to our bedroom grab my stuff and just as I'm about to leave the house, Azriel is behind me and he says "So you're leaving just like that?" he grabs my wrist so I can't open the door.
"Just let me go. Please let me leave," I breathe out, my heart breaking.
a/n: lemme know if u want the part two, cos i dont like angst without happy ending 😭
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shallyne · 1 year
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Through Blood and Tears
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Fanart by @edgyellie
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Chapter two! Feyre is looking for some answers and finds more questions.
Words: 2,708
TW: Violence, mention of murder
A murder in Rhys's court makes Rhys and his brothers pay a visit to his cousin Mor, who is a vampire. For the first time they are meeting the leader of the Vampire coven Mor lives with and they are shocked to realize it's the girl they believed to be mortal.
Chapter Two
Feyre waited until she felt the males leaving the grounds for good until she slumped back in her chair and rubbed her eyes. Exhausted didn't feel heavy enough for how tired she felt. It was a long day starting that her spies told her that a vampire from Xian was seen roaming the the courts of Prythian, who could be very well the vampire Rhys had talked about. Although if she was honest, most of the exhaustion came from seeing the male that had broken her heart so many years ago. So many emotions were simmering inside of Feyre that she wished she could just get rid of them and feel nothing for a while. That wasn't possible though so Feyre had to swallow these feelings down, drowning them in ridiculous amounts of blood and alcohol, until all of these feelings bubble up one day and she'll have a breakdown one night and then start it all again, as usual. Luckily the breakdown was far from coming, she didn't have time for it right now, there were more important matters at hand.
The scraping of a chair on the wooden floor brought Feyre back and she watched as Mor walked to the wooden cabinet beside the doors and took out two crystal glasses that she filled a knuckles length with amber liquid. Wordlessly she walked back, pressed one of the glasses in her hand and they quickly clinked their glasses before downing the drink in one chug. Mor then took her seat across from Feyre again, crossing her legs and tilting her head, her brown eyes set on Feyre. "Well, that was…something."
Feyre sighed, craning her head up to look at the ceiling. "Trust me, I didn't want it to escalate like that." Feyre replied coolly but she could still feel Mor's gaze on her and she knew that Mor was aware of her feelings. The heartbreak, the anger, the shock, the pathetic amount of hurt and the tiniest spark of love that she still felt after so long.
Mor snickered. "You didn't?" she asked and when Feyre tore her eyes from the ceiling to look at her, something akin to amusement danced in her eyes. Besides amusement, Mor looked at her with something else. Wariness. As if Feyre would break apart at any given moment.
"No." Feyre plastered on a smile. "I wanted to throw him out the moment I saw him. I didn't plan to argue with him."
Mor snorted. "Argue." she said in a mocking tone that had Feyre rolling her eyes.
"Whatever." she replied, her attention sliding to the door when she heard footsteps nearing. "He's aggravating."
Mor only threw her a knowing look and then straightened the skirts of her red dress as the footsteps came to a halt in front of the doors to Feyre's office.
"Come in!" Feyre called before Jurian could bother to knock. He swaggered in as if it was an everyday occurrence that the High Lord of the Night Court strutted in their home uninvited. His brown eyes swept quickly over Mor and then he turned his attention on Feyre, dragging a hand through his messy brown hair. "And?" he asked finally, as he fell into the chair beside Mor, clasping his hands in front of him. "What do you think about the murder? Do you have a clue who it could be?"
Sighing, Feyre rubbed her temples. "I have intel that a vampire from Xian is roaming Prythian. Although I don't know why they would attack a Night Court citizen. Maybe it was a personal matter and they are already traveling back."
"Xian?" Jurian asked, paling at the mention.
Mor straightened. "Do you believe it's a personal matter?"
Feyre nervously bit her nails, the black nail polish chipping some more, before she answered. "No, I don't think it's a personal matter." It was also a possibility that this was a threat targeted at Feyre, not Rhys. The territories of each coven were well known and Prythian was Feyres territory. Of all these territories, Xian was the worst of them. They were known for hunting humans for sport and starting brawls with any vampires from different covens they came across. That vampires were seen as monsters among people was mostly thanks to Xian.
"Did you tell the High Lord that?" Jurian asked after a moment of contemplative silence.
"Of course not." Feyre countered. "He doesn't need to know."
"He doesn't need to know about a dangerous vampire roaming his court?" Mor asked. "He's suspecting it's our coven, if you told him you could prove that the blame isn't ours."
Feyre stood, pushing the sleeves of her purple tunic up to her elbows and strode to the door. "He doesn't need to know because I will take care of it." she said before she left the room. Feyre took two steps at a time as she hurried to the upper floors, not paying attention to anyone she crossed on the way to her chambers. Most vampires she crossed were on the stairs because only her closest circle had rooms on the same floor as her, Mor's directly bedside Feyre's. When the door clicked shut behind Feyre, she let her shoulders slump. She spotted the old leather bag pretty quickly and wiped the dust off it. There weren't many occasions that Feyre had need for a travel bag, the thick layer of dust proved that. Although Feyre did not bother to pack any clothes. She opened the lower drawer of her dresser and swiped two of the wooden stakes she took from foolish mortals who entered her grounds to get rid of the monsters they believed living here. They left these grounds without any memories of this place when she caught them sneaking around.
Feyre also took the holy water with her. It wouldn't do much but it would buy her time. She wasn't worried about her skill, she was more than able to kill a newly made vampire. It had to be a newer vampire because no one else would be so foolish to hunt in another coven's territory uninvited, not even Xian. Lastly she took a vial of human blood, perfect to lure them if they truly are from Xian. Usually vampires are careful if they suddenly scent blood but these vampires were too focused on the hunt to think.
When Feyre pulled out her favorite sword from the closet, a little canvas fell out. However that could happen, Feyre hadn't painted in over a century and even the last try was a catastrophe. She turned it around to look at the painting and it had her stunned. It was the night sky from her favorite view five hundred years ago. The painting itself wasn't what made Feyre's heart ache, even if she caught herself missing that place sometimes, it was that she could remember that day she had painted it. Rhysand and Feyre had snuck out on the night of Rhysand's birthday and as they had talked about everything and nothing, she had painted this. Feyre shook her head and stuffed it back. She wouldn't get emotional because of a stupid painting that reminded her of Rhysand of all people. No, she had things to do and getting sad about the past wasn't on the list, so she threw on a jacket, took the bag and made her way to the Night Court.
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Feyre cursed at yet another twig that poked into her side. She hated the gods damned Night Court forests. One second she didn't pay attention to these murder twigs because she heard a growl coming from farther within the forest and the next second it tries to impale her.
Maybe she was overdramatic and grumpy, she was tired and she began getting hungry again because she only started to feed when Rhysand and Cassian turned up at the manor and she didn't have time to continue. She would feed when she caught the vampire who was sneaking around in her territory. Her hunger made her determined to catch that fool that very same night and be done with it. Feyre had free rein to kill the vampire because he entered Prythian uninvited. Just as they would have free rein to kill Feyre if she would turn up in Xian uninvited. Just as Feyre actually had free rein to kill Rhysand when he stepped foot on her grounds uninvited. Other than Rhysand though, she would kill the vampire.
Something cracked behind her and she whirled around to look. One of the perks of being a vampire was the improved night vision but as she looked around, nothing was there that could have caused the noise. Maybe the noise was farther away than she first thought and it was just one of the beasts that prowled these woods. She should have felt scared at the thought of said beasts but she didn't. Actually, Feyre was pretty positive that she could fight one but even if not she was faster and it was very hard to kill her, so she continued her journey, keeping all her senses on alert. About an hour later Feyre found a clearing. The moon was illuminating it as if it were about to witness something important right there.
It took Feyre a moment to recognize the clearing because at this time of year it was covered in snow and the last time she was here it was late spring five centuries ago. Feyre was close to the court of nightmares.
Suddenly all the hairs on her arms and her neck stood up and the salt and citrus scent hit her the same moment a velvet voice purred behind her "So you do care."
Slowly Feyre turned around to glare at Rhysand who leaned against a tree with his arms crossed with that annoying smirk on his face. He was dressed purely in black and his purple-blue eyes twinkled with amusement and an emotion Feyre couldn't place. An emotion she didn't want to place.
"You could have just asked, you know?" Rhysand said as he pushed off the tree and stalked closer. He looked like he was crafted from darkness itself. Feyre took a step back. It was only for a quick moment that she could see the disappointment on his face. "I'm not your enemy, Feyre."
"No, you're just an annoying prick." she muttered, pressing her arms around herself as she suddenly felt cold.
"What was that?" he asked.
"What are you doing in the forest in the middle of the night? That's creepy." Feyre said and turned her back to Rhysand, making her way to the court of nightmares. She could have run, she was faster than him but he could winnow and she knew he would winnow after her so she kept walking and he followed her.
"Same goes for you." Rhysand countered.
"I thought it's already settled that I'm a monster. Monsters are creepy." she spat at him. His steps ceased and she could hear his heart beating faster but Feyre didn't look back. She stomped through the snow until she could make out the foot of the mountain in the distance.
Then Rhys winnowed in front of her and grabbed her arms. "I never said you're a monster."
"You didn't have to." she snapped and pulled her arms out of his grip, walking past him. "I have two very well working eyes, I saw how you looked at me."
"Feyre, wait." he grabbed her again and whirled her to him. He was so close that Feyre had to crane her neck to look him in the eyes. "I believed you were mortal. My whole life until today I believed you were mortal and long dead and today I see you are well and alive and – and a vampire. Yes, I was shocked but I don't think you are a monster. Wouldn't you have been shocked if the roles were reversed?"
Feyre looked away, not able to bear the intensity of his stare, and shrugged. She wouldn't, couldn't, answer.
"Let me help you tonight. I'll winnow you to the Hewn City to inspect the body and I'll winnow you back to the manor." when she didn't answer, he added "Please, Feyre."
"You're pathetic when you beg." Feyre answered, trying to keep her smile in when he chuckled.
"Would you believe me if I told you it's because I'm worried about the beasts that are prowling these woods?" he asked.
"No."
"Then I can't explain. Let me help you, please." he said again.
Feyre looked around the snowy forest and then back to Rhysand. She touched her bag. It wasn't her plan to inspect the body like Rhysand assumed but maybe, maybe, it would give her some clarity about who's prowling these woods exactly. So she said "Fine. But that doesn't mean I tolerate you, it's just for this case."
"Of course." Rhysand said smirking as he took her hand and winnowed them both inside an almost empty room in the Hewn City. In the middle was a table where the body lay, a white cloth covering it. Rhysand nodded at her, gesturing that she could take a look as more Fae lights illuminated the small space. Carefully she folded the cloth back and stared at the golden-brown hair, the up tilted eyes and the full lips. Breathing became difficult and if Feyre wouldn't be undead, she would become paler as she already was. For a moment she thought someone else lay on that table. The people who haunted her dreams to this day. But of course it wasn't them. It couldn't be them. She took a look at the girl who looked scarily similar to Feyre. And at this moment Feyre knew that this message was for her. She asked Rhysand: "Is that the only victim?"
"Yes." he replied. "For now. Although I doubt that the murderer is still in the Night Court. I assume that if they strike again, it will be in another court." That was what she assumed, too.
And even though Feyre already knew the answer, she asked: "You don't think that this was a personal matter between the victim and the murderer?"
Rhys shook his head. "I don't rule it out but I doubt it."
Feyre nodded, covering the girl with the cloth again. Feyre stuffed her hands in the pockets of her jacket, staring at the cloth. After a few silent minutes she said "I'm ready to go home."
"Of course." Rhys said. He didn't say anything else as he took her hand and winnowed them to the gates of Feyre's manor. Feyre was about to say goodbye when she heard the commotion coming from the front door. She turned to a group of her vampires gathered on the porch. Mor pushed a few people aside and stopped on the last step of the stairs. "Feyre." she said. Panic and grief mixed in her eyes as their gazes met. Feyre hurried down the pathway and the four steps to the front door, her vampires making room for her until she saw what the commotion was about. A body was dumped right in front of the door. It looked like her head was ripped from her neck. Feyre kneeled beside the body and turned the head to see that it was one of her youngest vampires, Polina. She had just joined their coven roughly two years ago. Such cold, icy rage filled Feyre that she had to keep staring at her body before her emotions took the best of her. Slowly, Feyre looked at Rhysand, who had followed her and stood beside Mor. A few hours ago she would have believed it was him, taking revenge for the life a vampire took from his court but she didn't believe that anymore. Rhys's gaze turned wary as if he expected Feyre to fling that accusation at him but she swallowed and as hard as it was for Feyre to speak the following words, she did: "Let's make a truce." she said, her voice rough. "Help me find whoever did this, and end them."
Rhysand looked at Feyre. Really looked, as if he could read every single emotion in her, and nodded. "Let's find that bastard."
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Tagging: @starfall-spirit @reverie-tales @brieslibrary
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skyjasper · 12 days
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Betray You Like A Man.
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Azriel X Rhys sister oc (but Rhys Centric kinda?! Rhys and Az angst?)
Summary: HOFAS bonus chapter inspired. Azriel and his mate Y/N Moonbeam aka Rhysands little sister have been hiding for over 50 years. When her older brother finds out he is anything but happy.
Masterlist
Warnings: mentions of SA, Yelling, lots and lots of Angst, quite Az.
Words: 1,382.
~~~
She and Azriel had been seeing each other secretly for over 50 years now. They had been through hell and back together, finding out about Rhysand under the mountain, Supporting her brother with his mate, fighting a damned war, and even finding out they were mates. Not once did either of them let on to their secret relationship, always passing each other with cold glances and curt words. The only form of kindness shown was on important occasions. But the minute they were alone, when they got back to their secret apartment, they were perfectly fine.
That was until Rhysand barged into Azriel’s apartment yelling something about Nesta telling Feyre something about their babe and found the two of them laying on the floor. Y/N reading and Azriel mulling over paperwork with a biscuit. In an instant, albeit a second too late, Azriel’s wing was covering her. Rhysands words fell away and he stood still, she could see him just barely through her mate's wing but she knew that her older brother could smell her.
“Azriel,” Rhysand growled out. With a knowing sight, Azriel released his wing that covered Y/N’s frame, not hiding her wings.
The moment Rhysands eyes found her matching violet ones he turned and walked out, slamming the door. She turned her head to her mate whose eyes were glazed over in silent conversation, she decided to listen to what Rhys had told him.
“Do we go? We should probably give him time to calm down shouldn’t we?” She asked, staring at Azriel’s golden eyes. He just nodded quietly.
Silently and with deathly calmness they gathered themselves and flew to the river house. She winced as they walked in the door, taking in the ruined vases and the loud shouting of her other brother and sister trying to calm Rhysand down.
“I DO NOT CARE. THAT IS MY SISTER.” He screamed at Cassian. She turned to Azriel, putting a hand on his chest to stop him,
“Maybe I should go in there alone.” She offered. And with a short nod he agreed, before she could walk away he grabbed her arm, and with a deadly voice he spoke,
“If he even thinks about yelling at you I will be in there. I will just be right outside.” Then he let go so she could enter the room. When she did she gasped at the sight of her older brother.
“Rhysand,” she spoke firmly, only slightly scared as his raging eyes turned on her.
“Is that bastard here?!” He spoke.
“It doesn’t matter, Rhysand.” She went to place her hand on his arm when he flinched away and stared at her with disgust.
“Don’t even get me started on you.” He raised his voice, tears springing to her eyes at his reaction. The pair of them had always been as thick as thieves, never staying mad, and definitely never yelling at each other like this.
In an instant, Azriel was behind her, hands on her waist to inform her he was behind her. Her brother didn’t even glance at the male behind her before continuing,
“I can’t believe you slept with my brother like some common whore.” He spat out like a slap in the face, he knew what she had been through, what she had done for him while he was under the mountain. A cry fell out of her mouth, his words inflicting more pain than any physical blow could.
Before she could say anything the entire room went still, the bottom half of the room covered in angry shadows. Before she could blink her mate had her brother around the throat against the wall.
“Be very careful how you talk about my mate,” Azriel growled, she could feel his anger festering through the bond. She sent a comforting phantom hand over his shoulder.
“Your mate?!” Rhysand laughed, “That’s hilarious brother, no one could ever love a bastard like you. We all know it, just admit it Azriel, you aren’t capable of loving a female.”
And then it was Y/N who was on top of her brother, facing him with a slap that resonated throughout the entire room. Not a single soul spoke as the sound of flesh meeting flesh echoed through the room. Not even Feyre said anything as her sister-in-law hit her mate.
“Fuck you Rhysand.” She yelled. “Fuck you for reacting like this! You are nothing but a cowardly piece of shit. You blame everyone else for everything that is your fault. Did you ever stop and think as to why we didn’t tell you?!” She yelled, Rhysands mouth opened to respond but she continued, “No Rhysand, you don’t get to speak. Maybe if for once in your godsforsaken life actually looked at anyone other than your mate you see that the people around you are going through shit! You would see the face that Elain is on the verge of breaking, that Nesta was going through something none of us could possibly imagine, that Cassian was coping and that I, your fucking sister, was traumatized. I get it Rhysand, what you went through under the mountain, trust me I get it, but it does not give you the right to treat everyone else like shit because they don’t react the same way you do to trauma. You do not get to sit here and act like my brother trying to defend my honor when you haven’t actually acted like a decent brother for the past 3 years!” She screamed in his face.
She gave him one more resounding slap before standing up and finding Azriels hands.
“Do not come find us brother, for I do not want to see your pitiful face.”
Then, hand in hand with her mate, they left. They both flew, flew for hours till they were at the cabin Azriel had built for his mother before she passed. When they arrived and got out of the cold she sunk to her knees, tears finally flowing.
Az’s rough hands came to hold her face, “Shh my love, he is not worthy of your tears.” He murmured into her hair. Instead of trying to calm her again he just let her cry, not once letting her go, instead instructing his shadows to gather water and blankets.
So she fell asleep crying in his arms over the hurt her brother had caused. And when she woke she found Azriel’s dark hair. She stared at him as her fingers twirled in the onyx strands.
“You know what he said wasn’t true right, you know how to love and you are worthy of it Azriel. You and I are the proof, this right here,” she gestured in between the two, lightly pulling on the golden ribbon that flowed between them. “This is the proof. I love you beyond words Azriel. I know you feel the same shadow singer.” She told him. Observing as his hands tightened around her waist. They had both suffered far too much to let the words of her cruel brother diminish all the progress they had made.
It wasn’t easy at the beginning, getting Azriel to open up and come to accept himself. It took him years to realize he was worthy of her love. That he wasn’t a broken bastard.
“I love you beyond the sun and the stars, I would travel worlds for you Azriel. And if the stars would vanish then I would voyage through the darkness with nothing but my bare hands to find you.” She whispered, “I would rip the wings off my back if yours were ruined because I know how much you need to fly. I would kill gods and kings alike to ensure you are safe. For as long as I am alive you will no longer be alone ever again, you will always be loved. I will always love every part of you.” She brought his scarred hands to her lips and kissed the skin on them. When she released his hands her lips found his mouth.
“There are not enough words in this world for me to express my love for you Y/N Moonbeam, So instead let me show you.” He spoke against her lips before moving his kiss down her neck.
And show her he did.
~~
Taglist:
@littlelunatica @going-through-shit @annaaaaa88 @i-am-infinite @impossibelle
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danikamariewrites · 6 months
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hi i absolutely love your writing, like i go through ur page everyday, like i have my notifications on so everytime you post i click so fast 😩🤞like you’re a celebrity in my eyes and i get so giddy when you post.
I think i sent in a req w feysand x reader where they’re on the battlefield. They’re in formation and standing ready to attack. Reader sacrifices herself by using a hidden power that no one knows about, she rivals even rhysands power and no one expected her to have this much power. she winnows closer to their enemies and rhys and feyre screams for her to run back or get away. Reader looks at them with sorrow, love and determination a last time and let’s her power loose, oblitirating all of the enemies before the war even starts. By some miracle she survives but is so close to death and nesta saves her. Reader is unconcious for almost a week before she wakes up and they all talk and reunite, angst to fluff pleaseeeee🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️
i don’t remember if i sent this in or if i’m bugging out but pls ignore if I already did🧎‍♀️❤️
Sacrifice
Feysand x reader
A/n: thank you anon, ur literally going to make me cry and boost my ego plz 😭🥹 I hope you like the fic
Warnings: angst, near death experience, fluff at the end
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You heard Cassian calling for soldiers to fall in formation. Taking a deep breath you exit the tent you share with Feyre and Rhys. Your mates. Tears line your eyes as you think about this morning with them. How you’ll never see them again.
You send a prayer to the Mother, begging her to watch over them when your gone. You thought back to your conversation with Nesta last night.
“If something goes wrong I need you to help contain it.” Nesta shook her head in disbelief at your words. “Why have you never told anyone about your powers?” “I never had it under control. I pushed them down all my life but I think I can take them out.” The look Nesta gave you would send a normal person running. But you knew deep down that look meant she was scared for you.
“Y/n, what do I even tell them if they ask about your powers?” “I don’t know. I won’t ask you to lie for me. Can you tell them I love them, and that I’m sorry.” Nesta flings her arms around your neck, squeezing you to her body. “Just try. Try to live.” “I will.” You whispered against her chest.
You watch the soldiers hurrying to get in line on the ground and in the sky. Cassian’s red siphons glinted in the sunlight as you smiled sadly at him. Besides your mates and Nesta you’d miss Cassian the most. You two always had the best inside jokes.
You kneel on ground outside the tent, unsheathing your sword from your back and unlatch your shield. Lifting your sword you drive it into the hard earth and hang your shield from the hilt. You’re not going to need it. Besides, Rhys and Feyre would want to have it.
Making yourself unseen you weave in and out of the lines of soldiers until you make it to the front where your mates won’t see you. You stare down the line at them. They look so stoic and determined. They’ll get through this, they’ll win this war like they have before.
First is the magic. You let both sides do their thing, watching the world around you rumble with warring powers. The enemy side starts to slowly advance. Now is your opportunity.
You winnow to the middle of the battlefield. Rhys is banging on your mental shields, “What do you think you’re doing!” Slamming your sheilds up you push him out. The opposing side starts to run at you. Feyre let’s out a blood curdling scream and Rhys grabs her by the waist, keeping Feyre from running to you.
Turning to face them you see their distraught faces. You give them one last smile, sending love and adoration down the bond. You turn back to the army now sprinting at you. Digging your feet into the dirt you hold your hands out by your sides.
Closing your eyes you dove deep down into your power. You have been building it up for a year for this exact moment. To wipe what was left of Koschei and Hybern from Prythian. To show General Morgana she has nothing left but a useless cause.
A silvery-purple light flecked with swirls of night shine from your palms, then radiating from your entire body. You didn’t let go until the first soldiers were steps away. Realizing the mistake they made. The ground shook causing the soldiers to collapse but you stayed standing.
Locking eyes with General Morgana you saw her face contorted in shock and panic. You smirked at her. You let your power rip from your body. Violet night consumed the soldiers, ripping them limb from limb until they were nothing but ash on the wind.
You threw your power out as far as you could. Decimating more half of Morgana’s army. Good. Your mates would live.
Your power slowly faded around you. The beautifully grim night falling with you. You couldn’t feel anything. Not even the numbness that you were sure was taking over your limbs. All you knew was that you were falling. The trip to the ground beneath you feeling endless.
As your head bounced the last thing you saw was all out war, then nothing.
When the fighting was over Nesta was the first one off the battlefield. She came flying into your tent scaring the shit out of two young healers. They tried to ask Nesta to leave and she responded by basically growling. The poor females backed off letting Nesta kneel by your cot.
Madja’s apprentice, Adria, glared at Nesta over your body. Her signal to let Nesta explain what she was doing in here scaring her healers. “I can help.” Adria nodded.
Nesta laid her hands on your stomach, summoning her silver flames. Days ago the two of you discovered your magics complimented each other. Nesta could balance out your chaos. She felt your magic calming as soon as hers touched it.
Your shallow breaths changed to even one’s as your chest started visibly moving. Nesta let out a sigh of relief as she felt you come back from the brink of death. She slumped back on the floor and Adria announced that you were stable.
Feyre and Rhys shoved the tent flaps open, storming in ready to demand answers. Once they noticed the calm atmosphere Rhys immediately went to Adria asking her what was going on.
“She’s stable but won’t be up for some time. Y/n will need lots of rest given the amount of power she used. And you can thank Nesta, without her it would’ve taken us double the time to save her.” Feyre looked at her sister. Nesta didn’t know if she should be offended or not by the look of shock Feyre gave her.
Within the hour you were moved back to your room in the House of Wind. It was eight days by the time you finally woke up. Rhys and Feyre had tried to stay with you the whole time but they were needed around the city and dragged off to meetings on other courts.
Your eyes slowl6 blinked open as you took in the familiar sun lit room. Nuala entered with a tray in her hand dropping it immediately when she saw you sitting up. Soundlessly she ran off to alert Rhys and Feyre.
Minutes later you heard thundering footsteps racing down the hall. Your mates came to halt in the open doorway, silver lining their eyes. Without thinking Feyre launched herself at you, practically laying on top of you as she embraced you.
“You idiot! You stupid, stupid idiot! I’m so happy you’re awake!” She pulled back from you to look at your face. Hers looked like she hadn’t slept in days, worry lining her beautiful features. “Please never do that again. I don’t want to lose you,” Feyre quietly pleaded with you.
“Never,” you whispered. Rhys came into view, plopping down next to you in bed laying a smacking kiss on your cheek. Exhaustion was clear in his face as well. “Not to dampen the mood but we are going to have to talk about your powers.” Feyre smacked his arm. “Can you not kill the mood for five minutes?”
You giggled at your mates arguing. Using all your strength you snaked your arms around Feyre’s waist. Showing her it was ok to put her weight on you. Rhys ran his fingers through your hair and rested his lips on your forehead. Feyre tucked her face into your neck as you all sat in comfortable silence.
You’d have to thank Nesta when you were eventually allowed out of bed. This is just the start of their doting and mother hening. You didn’t mind though. You were just happy that you could be here to be doted on by your mates.
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azrielslostshadow · 1 year
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lemon meltaways
Word Count: 880
Author’s Note: hey guys! thank you so much for all the love on lemon tart! i think i want to continue to include scenes with the inner circle. i just know that watching azriel fall into a good and healthy love means just as much to them as it does to me <3
pt.1, pt.3
Taglist: @andrewgarfield2022, @azzydaddy, @off-beam, @elsie-bells, @goldentournesol, @bsenpai-blog, @leeknows-wife, @weirdo-fun, @graciereads, @thecraziestcrayon, @marigold-morelli, @hollyismentallyillhelp, @gamarancianne, @philosopherstoned, @maraudersrry, @acourtofmarvels, @fall-myriad, @ruler-of-hades, @bangtanbecks, @lahoete, @brekkershadowsinger, @lotusnegra, @dream-alittlebiggerdarling, @topaz125, @athena-royal, @tcris2020, @annaeli211-blog, @cullenswife,
azriel didn’t even like lemons. 
still, he stopped by the little bakery that specialized in lemon desserts. all of which were currently staring back at him through the display case, while he tried to pick the one he might hate the least. 
“back so soon?” he jumped when he realized you were right behind him. certainly not because you were flashing that pretty smile up at him. 
azriel figured he should at least make it look like he was in your bakery for some reason other than to see you again, “yeah. I- I uh really liked that lemon danish from yesterday.”
you smiled even wider, “thank you! I actually just adjusted my danish recipe so it’s nice to hear that someone enjoyed them!” 
“it was really good!” azriel was a liar. he hated that danish and ended up giving it to nesta, “the lemon tarts too. feyre loved them.”
“thank you…?” 
“azriel.” he told you as you moved to wipe the table behind him down. 
“oh. you’re feyre’s brother-in-law right?”
azriel felt something warm bubble up in his chest as being known as someone’s brother, rather than the feared shadowsinger of the night court. “yeah, that’s me.” he offered you a small smile, feeling shy. 
“well, azriel, what can i get for you today? cakes?”
azriel feared he may have lost his touch when he practically turned cherry red at the thought of you remembering yesterdays conversation. 
“just a lemon tart for feyre.” he realized he shouldn’t waste your product, since everyone else seemed to like them so much. 
“not feeling sweets today?”
he felt his chest tighten when he saw the absolutely precious pout lying on your lips, “no, that’s not it at all!” what is wrong with you? “it’s just that i’m in a rush today! and i wouldn’t want to end up wasting something you spent so much time on and-”
mother above, you were laughing again
“it’s okay, azriel.” you glanced up at him with a soft smile, “just the lemon tart, right?”
azriel wasn’t ready to go. he just wanted to hear your voice again, “anything quick?”
“hmm?” you hummed at him.
“let’s say you were going to be busy. what would you pick?” anything to hear your voice again. 
“again? you’ve placed an awful lot of trust in me recently, azriel.”
“you’ve just got that kinda look.”
“look?”
“yeah. Like someone, i could trust.”
 you blinked, then smiled, “well if i was looking for something on the go, i would get the lemon meltaways.” and gestured towards small coin-sized cookies at the far end of the display case. “They’re a butter cookie with lemon zest and a lemon flavored icing.”
“are they any good?”
you let out a small huff, “i wouldn’t sell you something that wasn’t good.”
“i’ll take some.”
the shadowsinger watched as you moved gracefully, placing the cookies into a small bag and then putting them into the bag with the lemon tarts, “give feyre my love, yeah?”
“course.” he moved to grab his wallet when you stopped him again.
“oh, no. absolutely not. you paid last time even after i told you not to.”
“no, last time i tipped.”
“yeah. twice as much as you would have normally paid!”
“well you deserved it.” azriel nodded stubbornly, “those were delicious.”
“thank you, but no. it’s my treat.”
you were persistent, azriel would give you that much. “fine. at least let me tip?”
“if it’s a small one.”
“fine.” azriel dug into his wallet, looking for the appropriate bill, before practically bolting out the door with a wave and a, “have a good day!”
you might be stubborn, but he was the shadowsinger and he knew how to get what he wanted. especially if it was paying the pretty cashier exactly what she was owed and then some. 
he couldn’t help but chuckle to himself when he heard to small huff you let out at his antics. 
-------
“stop for something sweet again brother?”
azriel really was tempted to remove cassian’s head from his neck. “maybe.”
the general laughed, “you could always ask her out you know?”
“yeah,” started nesta, “instead of buying food you don’t even like.”
“keep talking and i won’t share with you anymore.” azriel slipped into the seat next to the high lady, “here feyre, for you.”
“thanks, az. you didn’t have to do that.”
“he didn’t do it for you, feyre.” cassian clapped him on his shoulder, “he wanted to see your pretty friend again.”
“maybe i wanted to try something new!”
“from the lemon-flavored bakery? when you hate sweets and when you especially hate lemons?”
“i’m sure i’ll find one i’ll like.”
“before or after they figure out your little crush?”
“do me a favor and jump off something real high, yeah?” azriel huffed, pushing his brother off of him.
“you do know that we can both fly right?”
“maybe i’ll get lucky and you’ll forget how.”
“go ahead then, try your lemon-flavored treat.”
“maybe i will!”
“i’m waiting?” cassian tilted his head, as he and the rest of their little family watched azriel hesitantly lift the cookie to his mouth.
the inner circle couldn’t help but to laugh fondly at the illryian warrior, who so clearly did not like his lemon-flavored treat, “uh- hey nes?”
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note-more · 4 days
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Text
Princess
Azriel x Reader
One of the series I'm currently working on, hope you enjoy it.
You can find the prologue in the Princess masterlist.
General masterlist
Summary; Reader is Mor’s new friend that she found in the winter court while she was away for business. Y/n has been raised as a princess since her parents wanted to wed her to a noble fae in order to climb the social ranks. When her parents are brutally murdered y/n is left alone without a clue about the harsh reality or the brutality of the world. Mor finds her and takes her back to Velaris afraid of what might happen to her if she was left to live on her own. Will y/n survive the hate she will receive from certain members of the inner circle -including her mate- regarding the way she grew up?
Warnings; angst, mentions of abuse and death
Chapter 1
Feyre showed you the first guest room and started walking toward the second one, but your voice stopped her “This one is fine”.
She looked at you with kindness, her features soft and a small smile decorating her face. “You know… the first time I visited the night court I was wearing a similar dress”.
“Your wedding dress… yes we all heard” you smiled.
She chuckled and continued “I was scared, I had only heard awful rumours about the night court and Rhysand so trust me when I say that it’s all bullshit. Rhysand is kind and thoughtful, the same goes for everyone in this house… maybe not for Nesta but she loves us in her own twisted way” You kept staring at her not quite understanding why she was telling you all of this. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that we will protect you and be by your side for as long as you need, even forever, but if you try to harm any of us the consequences will be like the rumours of this court.” You gulped and took a step back, your eyes quickly scanned the room for possible hiding places, Feyre noticed and lifted her hands up “Hey calm down, I didn’t mean to scare you, but you are a stranger that Mor brought here and as the High Lady of this court it is my duty to inform you. I must make sure that my people are safe. I know that Mor wouldn’t bring someone dangerous here, but females forced to wed is a soft spot for her and it might cloud her vision.”
You stared at her, guilt building in you. Ladies should please others. “High Lady Feyre I’m so sorry if I offended you. You are right you should protect your people” you replied, a polite smile appearing on your face. She frowned but said nothing more, with a nod she disappeared down the hall, probably back in the dinning room.
You entered the room, it was twice the size of the main room in your cottage, you stared at the huge bed in the middle, the windows that looked like paintings because of the view outside. Soft fae lights decorated the room creating a gentle atmosphere. A sigh left your lips and you walked to the closet, curious if you would find anything inside, you really needed to get rid of this dress. To your surprise the closet was filled with every kind of clothes but none like your usual attire. Everything here was so revealing, you remembered one time that you saw a dress like those back in the winter court, you quickly tried it on but immediately regretted it when you saw your mother’s face filled with disgust. Ladies keep their bodies for their husbands. Only the females working in the brothels wear things like that.
You opened the drawers to find something less revealing and you were met with multiple pairs of pants and shirts. You almost gasped. There must have been some mistake maybe a male was staying in this room before me. You thought. A female can’t wear those, right? You grabbed a long-sleeved nightgown and entered the bathroom. You were met with a deep bathtub. Your brows furrowed in confusion, and you jumped back when water started to pour in it. You scanned the bathroom, but no one was there. Maybe some kind of spell? You stripped your clothes and entered the bathtub hissing when your leg touched the water. So hot you thought and closed your eyes as you laid inside, every muscle relaxed, your body going numb but not in a bad way. When you boiled water, you always thought how it would be like if for once you bathed in hot water. Turns out it is better than you could ever imagine. You thought about what Azriel said “raised like a princess”, everyone seemed to believe that, you did too. You saw the females in your village working and you always thought that you were getting special treatment because you didn’t work. But raised like a princess? You doubted that. You didn’t even know the feeling of hot water around your body until now. You stayed in the bathtub until you were sleepy enough. You dried yourself with the soft towel and tried the nightgown, you frowned when you saw the length… mid-thigh. You pulled it until it reached beneath your knees and slipped into bed. You stared at the ceiling; you were exhausted but the feeling that anyone could walk in at any time kept you awake.
Sleep finally came and your body relaxed -still facing the door.
You woke up just when the sun appeared in the sky, the city even brighter. You watched the river, so calm yet wild. You tried to find a dress decent enough for your taste -or your mother’s taste, finally you saw one, midnight blue with long sleeves and it reached your knees. This will do. You thought. You usually wore light colours since your mother believed that a proper lady should look gentle and sweet, but this colour looked good on you too, it made you look powerful.
You walked around the house enjoying the silence and trying to find the kitchen. After countless guest rooms and bathrooms, you finally found it.
You searched the cabinets and after collecting all the ingredients you needed you started cooking. You hummed a song your mother had taught you and twirled around to pick the spatula almost smacking on a hard chest. You gasped and took a step back, hazel eyes were staring down at you, a musky scent of cedar and smoke filling your senses. Azriel’s face was cold, even colder that the ice in your court, the thought made you shiver.
“What are you doing?” he questioned, his deep voice was raspy probably because he just woke up.
“Breakfast” you stuttered. You wanted to disappear.
“The house can do that” he rolled his eyes and left.
You frowned and continued cooking, feeling stupid for even trying but you wanted to thank them for taking you in and cooking was one of the few things you could do.
You finished the food and placed it on the dining table, footsteps echoed through the house and a few minutes later everyone was in the dining room. “Smells so good” Cassian breathed and started filling his plate. “You made that?” Feyre asked.
“Yes, as a thank you for accepting me in your court” you replied with a small smile.
Azriel stared at his plate, it was still empty. Suddenly a platter with several kinds of food appeared next to him and he started to eat. You frowned but didn’t dare to say anything.
“Y/n, would you like to go shopping with me today?” Mor asked you.
You glanced at Rhysand and Feyre.
“You don’t have to wait for our approval” Feyre’s voice was soft.
“But before you leave, I need to see you in my office” Rhysand added.
You gulped but nodded anyway.
Your attention moved to Azriel who dropped his fork and stared at Rhysand, their eyes unfocused. “They are having a mental conversation” Cassian told you as he noticed your curious look.
“You can talk in each other’s minds?” you gaped. “Rhysand is daemati” Nesta spoke with a bored look.
You didn’t know what else to say, your questions seemed to annoy her, so you kept your mouth shut. A few moments later Azriel stormed out and Rhysand pinched his nose.
“Let’s go to my office” he told you and got up, you followed him and almost flinched when you saw Azriel already in there. Rhysand took a seat behind his desk and cleared his throat. “I asked Azriel to go back to your court and find out everything he could about you and your family. Turns out that everything you told Mor was true, so it is my pleasure to welcome you in my court.” “Thank you” you bowed your head. “Please don’t do that, I want you to consider me your friend. I want to help you find your own personality, you need to find your own strength. Your goal should be to become powerful and confident not someone’s wife.” He continued. You could only stare, no one ever spoke to you like that, no one offered to help you become something else.
“I know that you and Azriel don’t get along, that’s why he is assigned to show you the city and help you with everything you need. I hope this will be enough for you to toughen up”
Silence.
Your jaw almost touched the ground. Azriel was fuming, he opened his mouth to protest but Rhysand lifted a finger and dismissed you both with a “That’ll be all” and a smile.
You exited the office and were pushed against the wall, scarred hands grabbed your arms and kept them above your head, a hot breath against your cheek.
“You won’t speak without my permission, you won’t follow me around like a toddler and you won’t seek me out. I will come find you when I want to.” He growled. “Is that understood?”
You stared at him, your eyes filling with tears and your body shaking. You frantically nodded your head wanting to get as far away from him as you could.
“Words princess” “Y-yes” you stuttered.
And with that he was gone, only a few shadows stayed who approached you and caressed your cheeks, drying the tears you weren’t able to hold back.
You couldn’t go to Rhys you knew he would tell Azriel, and you didn’t want to find out what the consequences would be for you. You went back to your room.
You dreaded the moment he would find you again.
What do you think?
@cleverzonkwombatsludge
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