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laxmiree · 1 year

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[CN] 5th Anniversary - Lucien (Roast!)

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a story that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

T/N: 吐槽大会, or can be translated as Roast! is a comedy talk-show in China that’s inspired by Comedy Central Roast. Basically, it’s a show where the people invited take turns in roasting each other based on the topic provided.

In the game itself, you can choose which roast you can give to him (and you get a chance to choose another option lol) and whether to oppose or agree with his roast.

Translation under the cut!

Microphone: Welcome to Roast! Everyone is welcome to participate~

[Topic 1- Work]

Microphone: The topic of today's roast is…

Microphone: His/Her Work~

MC: I'll go first~

MC: In my heart, he is...

[Option A: Dedicated Scientist]

MC: According to "I don’t actually know what I'm talking about" data, 99 out of every 100 scientists love to work non-stop without sleep or food.

(T/N: 废寝忘食 is an idiom meaning to skip one's sleep and meals/ to be completely wrapped up in one's work)

MC: However, Professor Lucien relied on his extremely high physical fitness to work without eating and sleeping at all!

MC: Won't this unavoidably attract resentment from other scientists?

MC: So for the sake of the future of the scientific community, I advise him to keep a low profile in the future, eat and sleep on time, to give his colleagues some psychological balance~

Lucien: This lady appears to have a point that I didn’t consider too well before.

Lucien: But rather than maintaining the psychological balance between colleagues for the future of the scientific community-

Lucien: What I care more about is your opinion.

Lucien: I'll try to change these bad habits in the future, so that you don't have a chance to criticize me about them anymore.

Lucien: Anything else?

[Option B: “Picky” Consultant]

MC: My program consultant is very serious about the program content.

MC: And even for a small idea, he will ask me to go to the library to look up information, discuss it face-to-face in a coffee shop, or meet in the park to collect local cultural material.

MC: After a long time, I finally realized that-

MC: Did he use the program as a way of creating opportunities to meet each other?

Lucien: This student's realization seems to take longer than I thought.

Lucien: In fact, my role as your "program consultant" is not the only one filled with deliberate and subtle motives.

Lucien: In one way or another, I have hidden some selfishness in every other aspect of my life.

Lucien: But judging by how long it takes for you to realize it, I guess it will take another long time for you to discover "them".

Lucien: Anything else?

MC: My rant is over.

Lucien: Although the Great Producer often says that I’m very committed to my work, it seems that… you are no different from me.

Lucien: And sometimes when we travel overseas, you have to take your laptop with you so that you can "be on call" 24 hours a day.

Lucien: This makes you seem a little "busier" than me.

[Option A: Agree With Him]

MC: ヾ(⁠=⁠^▽⁠^⁠=⁠)ﾉ

Lucien: Since the Great Producer has admitted it, let's supervise each other in the future.

Lucien: If someone 'violated' first, you have to punish the other person to do one thing for you, okay?

Lucien: Don't worry… It’s not a trap. it's more like a mutual motivation.

[Option B: Oppose him]

MC: (⁰⁠ Д⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠*)ﾉ

Lucien: Hmm... You don't think so? Do you still think that I'm more likely to forget to eat and sleep?

Lucien: To an extent, it seems to be the case.

Lucien: But by nature, it seems to be the same.

Lucien: No matter the extent, it still has an impact on our health, doesn't it?

Lucien: So, why don't we encourage each other to free up more space for the two of us?

MC: Anything else?

Lucien: Some time ago, I accidentally saw your plans for next year's vacation.

Lucien: It seems like there is not enough time left for me?

Lucien: As your program consultant, should I increase my efficiency to shorten the duration of the program?

[Option A: Agree with him]

MC: ヾ(⁠=⁠^▽⁠^⁠=⁠)ﾉ

Lucien: Since Miss Producer also wants to have a lot of vacation days...

Lucien: Then I will not fail to meet this high expectation, and strive to give you more time to rest.

[Option B: Oppose him]

MC: (⁰⁠ Д⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠*)ﾉ

Lucien: Oh? Did I make a mistake...

Lucien: You said 80% of your time is reserved for me?

Lucien: But if you only schedule five days of annual leave a year, we only have four days.

Lucien: For such a greedy me, it seems far from enough.

MC: Anything else?

Lucien: My rant is over.

[Topic 2: His/Her Life]

Microphone: The topic of today's roast is…

Microphone: His/her life~

MC: In my heart, he is...

[Option A: Movie buff]

MC: A scientist who likes to watch movies-

MC: No matter how busy he is at work, he will spare some time as much as possible to watch movies.

MC: And after watching it, he will also carefully search the relevant information, from the shot analysis to the director's creative process.

MC: I seem to be less professional than him even though I’m the professional TV and film producer….

Lucien: Watching movies is a good hobby for me, but I started to develop the habit of looking up related information after I became your program consultant.

Lucien: After all, in addition to providing professional knowledge and insight, I also need to know something about the journey behind the scenes of the creators,

Lucien: I need to understand all aspects of the great producer's life so that I can help in the best way I can.

Lucien: Anything else?

[Option B: Tea Connoisseur]

MC: He likes tea very much, to what extent?

MC: To the extent that I can smell a faint scent of tea when I pass by him,

MC: And when I open the storage cabinet, I will find hundreds of tea bags, and there is an increasing number of them…

MC: I didn't know that Professor Lucien also had a "childlike" hobby of collecting things he likes.

Lucien: Rather than collecting, it is more that I'm going to let it settle over time to have a better and richer tea flavor.

Lucien: And I've always had a small plan in mind- that every few years, you could taste the "time" with me.

Lucien: Anything else?

MC: My rant is over.

Lucien: My little girl often has many whimsical ideas, for example, she likes to decorate our home according to the four seasons,

Lucien: Or create some unexpected surprises from time to time, so there is nothing worth "rant" in life.

Lucien: I’m very satisfied and I like it very much.

[Option A: Agree With Him]

MC: ヾ(⁠=⁠^▽⁠^⁠=⁠)ﾉ

Lucien: Hmm. Seems like I've motivated you even more with this speech.

Lucien: Then… Just continue to let me be lucky enough to sit back and enjoy them in the future.

[Option B: Oppose him]

MC: (⁰⁠ Д⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠*)ﾉ

Lucien: Are you saying that I bring you more surprises?

Lucien: At this point, none of us should be modest with each other.

Lucien: Instead, we should be happy that we can bring joy, surprise, and happiness to each other.

MC: Anything else?

Lucien: But also because I’m greedy enough to have more.

Lucien: Every minute and every second in the future, I will continue to welcome every surprise you bring to me with anticipation.

[Option A: Agree with him]

MC: ヾ(⁠=⁠^▽⁠^⁠=⁠)ﾉ

Lucien: But in such a beautiful thing, you can't be the only person who gives.

Lucien: So, although I don't have the same unimaginable creativity as you.

Lucien: I still want to bring you what I consider to be “surprises”.

[Option B: Oppose him]

MC: (⁰⁠ Д⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠*)ﾉ

Lucien: Oh? What's with the sudden reluctance…?

Lucien: It seems that you also like to secretly “play bad”.

Lucien: So what do I have to do to make your "surprise package" endlessly renewed?

MC: Anything else?

Lucien: My rant is over.

[Topic 3: About him/her]

Microphone: The topic of today's roast is…

Microphone: About him/her

MC: I’ll go first~

MC: In my heart, he is...

[Option A: Genius]

MC: I have to say that he is a "genius" in every sense of the word, and I hardly ever see anything he is not good at!

MC: Wait, why don't I start doing a study on Professor Lucien?

MC: For example—[In such a perfect genius, how many things is he not good at?]?

Lucien: I think I have a lot of things I'm not good at.

Lucien: For example, I always forget to take good care of myself and then I don't know what to do when you are "angry".

Lucien: Or, each time a new emotion arises because of you, there is some self-exploration that I’m not good with.

Lucien: But I seem to be making progress, like now - the latter has gradually become something I'm good at.

Lucien: Anything else?

[Option B: A sly fox]

MC: On the surface, he is the gentle and elegant Professor Lucien, but in private he is a sly ‘fox’!

MC: Not only does he often ‘trap’ me, but he also likes to secretly tease me.

MC: Even though I was alert and vigilant, I still couldn't prevent his schemes!

Lucien: Then perhaps this is the "animal" natural behavior in the face of someone he likes.

Lucien: Uncontrollably approaching, trying to attract the other person's attention.

Lucien: All this just because he wants to be closer to the other person.

Lucien: Anything else?

MC: My rant is over.

Lucien: You are the bravest girl I have ever met, and the one who always brings hope.

Lucien: So more than wanting to roast or ridicule you... I just want to say that I'm glad to have met you like this.

[Option A: Agree With Him]

MC: (shyly) ヾ(⁠=⁠^▽⁠^⁠=⁠)ﾉ

Lucien: I really like your smile at this moment. It has been forever framed in my heart.

[Oppose him]

MC: (⁰⁠ Д⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠*)ﾉ

Lucien: Are you saying that I made you braver?

Lucien: But I don’t think that’s very accurate. Rather, I would say that-

Lucien: It is love that has made us what we are now.

MC: Anything else?

Lucien: So, please stay by my side more often.

Lucien: Although it sounds a bit selfish, one can't help but instinctively move closer to warmth.

Lucien: And I’m no exception.

[Option A: Agree With Him]

MC: ヾ(⁠=⁠^▽⁠^⁠=⁠)ﾉ

Lucien: Now that you've agreed to it, why don't you start "fulfilling" it in every aspect of our lives?

Lucien: For example - with every scenery we see, every delicious food we eat, and every warmth as we hug each other when we get home.

[Oppose him]

MC: (⁰⁠ Д⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠*)ﾉ

Lucien: If you feel that staying in the same place is too stagnant, how about following in each other's footsteps and moving forward?

Lucien: Let every unknown part of the future leave traces that belong to us.

#roast never sounds this wholesome #njjdf such a cute mini story thoo #mlqc lucien #mlqc cn #mr love queen's choice #mr. love queen's choice #mlqc spoiler #mlqc translations #mlqc

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xiaoluclair · 1 month

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hello xiaoluclair how have you been. did i already ask you about your favourite media? i think you are so funny so im interested to hear what comedy you enjoy especially, but pls feel free to yap at length about any media at all… - wiz

GASP, oh my goodness.... an invitation to yap?? oh hunny, what are your thoughts on a little tumblr-moot-smooching, question.

okay i'll try not to yap TOO much, and i'll try to focus on comedy, but i love brooklyn 99 -- first thing that comes to mind after s1 episode 2 of the usa office (like i could be talking abt any other the office). there is also the parks and rec blooper 'I'm pretty sure she has come on her back', that 1 instagram reel of a slice of bread that takes 38 seconds to fall over, Vine, ryan reynolds, and comedy central's the Roast of Rob Lowe :rose: :yellow-heart:

#emoticons stopped working so we are left with this #:one-tear-down-smiling-face:#:flexed-arm-with-inaccurate-representation-of-my-musculature:#x: asks #wiz my beloved #you're a sweetheart my dear #i honestly feel so giggle-kick-happy with these sorts of questions #asks: miscellaneous #OH honorary mentions to white chicks ; that 1 youtube video on a 5 minute prepared powerpoint presentation about beans ; jesse eisenberg

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kai-bobbi · 2 years

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9/9

It's funny how humans need things to be "the best." People aren't going online shopping and typing in "just alright electric toothbrushes." Whether it has the newest features or is a great deal for the name brand option, want to makes sure when we hit that purchase button that we did the best and we got the best we could have. And I know what your thinking... "Ok Kai. That's great and all, but this is a picture of a cat." Well, there's a reason for that.

I woke up to this chilly dead-sky day feeling unrested and filled with anxious thoughts of all the things I need to get done. Honestly, I can't tell if I was consuming the anxiety or the anxiety was consuming me. I thought of this blog and how I needed to make sure my first image was "the best"

My first idea was an EPIC morning porch photo of my steaming hot coffee. First ideas are something special. Sometimes we blindly follow them, missing all these other wonderful and far out options. And then other times we immediately roast our idea like it's on Comedy Central and verbally rip it apart. I did the latter. "Coffee Kai? Really? That's so expected and predictable!" It felt like the Jerry Seinfeld of ideas. What's the deal with coffee, amiright? While sprinting around my mind and my apartment for "good ideas" this little sleepy bub caught my attention from across the room with a big ol' stretch and and a heart shattering yawn. Such a happy and content window boy, just living his best life.

The moment he realized I had acknowledged him, he demanded my presence with this needy little head bobbing nuzzle thing that he does. I have assessed to be impossible to say no to. It was 'Harrison Time' now and everything else can wait. Here I am running around my apartment like a Muppet, trying to find THE BEST thing to absorb, and it was there the whole time... quality time with my son.

I soaked in all of his magnificence. Reflecting on our near decade of companionship, his persistent purrs pushed all the stress away. It may not be "the best" photo or "the best" subject choice, but he is the best little buddy a cat mom could ask for. I am realizing a project feels pointless without a connection. So I made one. ❤️

Your friendly neighborhood enby,

Kai

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conecinema4 · 2 years

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How To Turnover A House Without Losing Your Shirt

youtube

People need to know how difficult it is on a family group to not have closure. If some who know the details of my sister's murder knew, they might have a minimum put in the confidential face. Sharon does not have a grave and probably never could very well. This bothers me and probably usually. I mean, let's be genuine. I'd rather be a NBA player than, let's say, a home manager in Charlotte. Wouldn't you? Let's wait and watch. You get to be an actual physical specimen (as you basically work out for a living), have adoring fans follow through town to town, make millions of dollars, decorate your mansion(s) as tackily as you want, and drive a completely different sports car every day's the 30. We could probably make this arrangement work, ? So why wouldn't we encourage all kids a boy to be deemed a NBA (or WNBA) characters? We've seen the "Whatever Your Mind Can Conceive, You Can do!" banners hanging in our junior high school classrooms. Didn't we conceive this? The idea should have happened for us, yes? Especially that they advertise it on television, then you'll get a better visual picture about this entails or possibly a better brief description. They will also have models on the as well promoting it by wearing the items so you can acquire a feel products it would look like on unique. It makes easier when perform it method because will not have to achieve any picturing of what's going to look like on you in your thoughts. Wait several hours. Have you ever bought something, took it home, just after which realized you didn't really need it? You intended to take it back the day after but just sat at this time there. A month later it moved itself from the table into the chair within the corner, gradually into the closet, where it sat for months or even years. Had you waited 24 hours, generally speaking you enjoy had an alteration of heart (and much better to fiscal condition) if not, at the very you'd know your purchase would be meaningful for you. So wait, it's not going anywhere - really it is not. Keep into account that marketing selection to do this type of operation will consist of smaller items such as Patchwork pieces, birdhouses, glass ornaments along with the like, since storage area in the cart is minimal. Several kiosks, whatever gets delivered does unhealthy inside a closed and secured cart must be stored elsewhere or removed every evening at close of daytime hours. Photoshop Tip: When you create the most up-tp-date file in Photoshop CS, you can pick the "NTSC DV with guides" fixing lease for Television . This will provide you is not action as well as title safe guides. A major software program download (1GB) will take 2 weeks using dialup, and only 2 minutes through dishNET. Uploading a whole, 160 Mbps music album needs 65 hours by using dialup, only 16 seconds with dishNET. Comedy Central brought the concept of celebrity roasts back for the public eyeball. What had been a largely private and mostly forgotten tradition received a new lease on life once the comedy network aired several celebrity roasts from the Friar's community. These shows were very liked by the herd. These shows have featured synthetic Jeff Foxworthy, Pamela Anderson, and Mr . trump to name just a few. Needless to repeat the Anderson episode was essentially the most watched because of its time slot when it aired. https://chothuelaptop.info/cho-thue-tivi-man-hinh-lcd-uy-tin-chuyen-nghiep-tai-ha-noi/

#thuê tivi hà nội giá rẻ

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anthonysstupiddailyblog · 2 years

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Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (31): Wed 13th Apr 2022

I read that the American comedian Gilbert Gottfried had passed away. I wasn't an aficionado of the guy's work but I've seen some of the jokes he did on the Comedy Central roasts and man was that guy dark. Prior to seeing him on these I had only known him as the voice of the parrot in Aladdin and some crazy role in Saved By The Bell: Wedding In Vegas. From these performances you'd think that Gottfried was some sort of wacky kid friendly stand up but nothing could be further from the truth. In one of the clips I watched Gilbert was dressed up as Hitler during one of the roasts and when one of the other panelists asks him if he is feeling alright he says that he thinks he left the oven on...WOW! Maybe him doing that stupid voice was his way of making people who had never seen him before think that he was a shitty stand up and then out of nowhere he would hit them with a brutal joke like that and it would be even more shocking than if he'd have done the joke immediately in a normal voice. The thing that made me laugh the most about him was a sketch that was included on a DVD of some cartoon sketches by Seth Macfarlane entitled "Sex With Gilbert Gottfried" which only last a few seconds and features Gottfried in bed with a girl screaming in his signature voice "YES OH BABY THAT'S THE SPOT! THAT'S THE SPOT! I WAS THE PARROT FROM ALADDIN!!!". Still to this day it makes me wince with laughter.

I was looking for a movie to watch today so looked at a few clips from movies I've never seen before. One of them was from the movie "2012" and though I haven't seen this movie before I get the feeling that I have because it's literally the same story as The Day After Tomorrow (Which I have to admit I did like even though it is stupid...the global warming just goes away at the end. That has to be the laziest fucking ending ever). The director Roland Emerich specializes in disaster movies and while the effects are always very impressive there is never any decent character development and the story always sucks because the makers of the film clearly blow their collective loads on making sure the effects are top notch and they just don't have the energy in them to focus on the other stuff in the movies. The clip that I watched from the film features a bunch of people on board a cruise chip as a tsunami capsizes it. Visually it's very impressive but I guarantee if I were to watch the movie I would end up not giving a shit about it because the characters on the ship would be poorly written and so why would I care that they all died? I remember in the lead up to 2012 most sensible people had dismissed the Mayan prediction that the world would end in 2012 as bollocks but I hope that this movie turns out to be a completely different, unrelated and coincidentally disaster that happens to take place roundabout when the Mayans thought the world was going to end. If all the survivors in the movie turn out to be a load of doomsday preppers who had built bunkers and stockpiled food in order to survive the end of the world then that could at least be an interesting premise but I doubt that's what the film is about, I' guessing that in the film the Mayans just turn out to be right and the world comes to an end.

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kulluto · 3 years

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me: i’m going to take a uquiz just for fun ^_^

uquiz result: you’re lonely because you’re fake and you’ll do anything to keep people from getting bored of you

me: aww what a cute little quiz!

#feels like a comedy central roast #🍭

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jiminrings · 3 years

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SINGLE DAD TAEHYUNG! DILF TAEHYUNG! WE NEED MORE DILF TAEHYUNG!!!!!

DA DILF TAEHYUNG AGENDA EXACTLY 👍 can be connected to this drabble!!!

“this feels like a trap.”

namjoon is the first one to say and his candid statement immediately gathers support from the other guys

he says it while he’s laying on the biggest beach towel he’s ever seen in his life, with an ice-cold four seasons-flavored drink in his hand with the little umbrella, rearranging the limited edition cap on his head even if he’s underneath the biggest and coziest beach canopy he’s seen in his lifetime

“this can’t not be a trap,” jimin huffs with a mouthful of watermelon before setting his spoon down on a new plate that he surprisingly didn’t bring home from an aircraft, wiping his mouth as he feels the cool metal of his designer silver cuban chain link bracelet on his chin

“for sure. taehyung pretends like he doesn’t have a single thought nor intention behind those eyes.”

seokjin snickers, reapplying his spray-on sunscreen that’s surprisingly not expired, adjusting his brand-new designer sunglasses on his nosebridge before sipping his margarita and not having to worry about mosquitoes because there’s a zapper in the table nearby

“just makes you wonder what’s going on with him.”

hoseok sighs, eating from a charcuterie board he swears up and down that he still finds overrated (there is truly no sense behind cheese and crackers and raw meat on a wooden board), fetching a towel from his newly gifted luxury duffel bag he decided to bring to the beach

all of this.,..

literally ALL of this,,, every single new piece that they all received from taehyung feels like a trap

like even the concept of taehyung just setting up a beach day for them and even giving gifts out of nOWHERE is very thought-provoking

“i have no ulterior motive!!! can’t i just take out my closest friends in the world?”

tae exclaims, shaking his head to himself

“world!!!”

nabi repeats with the giddiest tone anyone could ever attach to a single world, instantly getting coos from his dad and uncles

crisis averted <3

oh yeah that reminds them ://

the guys need to put world peace on their list!! anything for this cute chunky monkey!!

“sounds disgusting and cheesy but i just want to treat you all since you’ve all been working very hard,” tae tries to explain and he shudders at his sweetness, “also because you’ve been very patient that i haven’t found a job yet!!!”

“we’re also patient with you being a former trustfund baby and therefore forgetting to close the fridges or you know, gagging when we tell you to wash the dishes,” jin nonchalantly adds

“and because you like randomly throwing nabi in the air and give us heart attacks in the process.”

“or falling asleep in the living room couch, even when you have the biggest room in the house, and that means we can’t watch tv because we unfortunately respect your sleep.”

“also because we let you decorate the house in three separate occasions with our money but they each barely lasted a day because you hated it.”

okay okay jEEZ

this is not comedy central omg why is he being roasted!!! in his own trip that he planned and executed quite perfectly!!!

“whew okay alright!! ganging up on me now, huh? thank you, you all just reminded me to teach nabi about the importance in avoiding cliques.”

://

they collectively reacted in offense to tae, speaking over each other, the general theme being “oHHHHH he’s really pulling that now huh???”

“go ahead, tell him that i ate his snacks! i’m sure nabi’s still on my side. right, monkey?” taehyung cockily shakes his head, hand reaching to rub his son’s fluffy hair

???

wait a second

“NABI????”

taehyung shoots out from his chair and hurriedly walks out of the canopy, his four equally-as-panicked best friends darting out in search of the dumpling

he’s two now and he’s more adventurous, especially when it comes to using his quiet tiny little feet to walk by himself

taehyung’s heart is beating so fast but ir becomes even faster when he sees his curious dumpling near the water!!!

as in nEAR the water :O

alright :(( the waves aren’t cooperating :((

they’re pretty tame and as much as you enjoy paddling, you were looking forward this morning to actually surf because you were expecting big waves!! even waxed your surfboard all thoroughly

your wetsuit’s tightly clinging to you and your chest would want to breathe pls and thank you <3 which is why you unzip it in your chest area until you could audibly hear your boobs sigh out loud

you prefer taking off your leash when you’re still in water, as long as it’s shallow just to be sure, because walking in hot sand while chained to your surfboard that’s bigger than life is definitely not ideal

you sit on the part of the sand where the waves crash against and make quick work in removing the leash from your ankle, taking out your hairtie while at it because your hair drying up with saltwater wHILE it’s up </3 a nightmare actually

you’re catching a breather when you hear the pitter-patter of tiny footsteps beside you, an immediate coo leaving your lips

but at the same time it’s pANIC because the cutest child you just saw does not seem to stop walking into the water

“uh-uh! pretty sure you can’t swim yet, nemo.”

you immediately stand up and hold him still by his shoulders, his wide and curious eyes looking up at you

his tiny blue crochet bucket hat is what captures your attention, the character of nemo sewed right in the middle

.... is it bad that you want his bucket hat for yourself

“water!!! :-)”

the toddler points excitedly at what’s beneath his feet, giving you a feeling that he’s such a happy kid

“that’s correct!! it’s water!!!” you coo back at him, “but let’s go back, alright? you can’t swim alone.”

you pick him up because he gives no sign of budging when you try to coax him out of the water by gently pulling on his shoulder

you’re pleasantly surprised when he doesn’t resist you carrying him, in fact, he even holds on to your arms and tilts his head curiously yet with no fear

taehyung has never ran faster in his life actually

within a second, there’s a panting man in front of you, his hands on his knees and ever so often raising his finger to give him a second

alright lol you’re giving him a second

the guy in question finally straightens his posture and you’re positive that you’ve never seen a man that’s this handsome in real life

taehyung’s equally as shocked to see such gorgeousness in front of him????

also his eyes immediately wandered and he pretends to have never seen your cleavage nor your curves in your wetsuit

he did not mean to sTARE!!!! maybe this is just a side effect of his lasik surgery <4

“is he your kid?”

you ask him sincerely, puttting your hand over your eyes as shade to see him better

“yeah, i’m his dad. sorry for troubling you, he’s at that age where he likes walking in stealth and forgets that he’s in a new environment!!!”

he outstretches his hands to take nabi from your arms but he tilts his head when you slightly angle your body farther from him

“are you sure?”

you squint your eyes and there’s an evidently playful and teasing smile on your face

taehyung actually laughs but decides to humor you, his heartbeat finally calming down

“of course!! nabi, smile at the pretty lady for appa, will you?”

nabi, who you made the decision to call nemo on your mind officially starting thirty seconds ago, smiles

he grins so hard and it resembles the boxy smile that his dad is now sporting at the same time, their uncanny resemblance deepening even further

“okay,” you hum contently even if you already believed him from the start, “pretty lady believes that you’re little nemo’s dad.”

well aren’t you a cute one

“that would be marlin, although it sounds pretty ancient.”

the two of you (excluding nabi) are cLUELESS to the mini audience aka tae’s friends who all had mini heart attacks when they didn’t see nabi in their canopy awhile ago

they’re trying to OHHHHHHHH to themselves because wow that is smooth

jimin was about to pat tae’s back but he’s held back because they all forgot that they were not supposed to even be present at this situation

“i’m taehyung, nabi’s dad.”

he holds out his hand — his thick, veiny, muscular-looking hand for you to shake and he doesn’t miss the way you look at it a second longer

“i’m y/n, pretty lady.”

you shake his hand and you don’t miss the way taehyung presses his tongue to his cheek, eyes not-so-smoothly looking at you from top to bottom

his son particularly doesn’t like being excluded which is why he puts his hand on top of the both of yours :-)

“i’m nabi!!!!!!”

#drabble nights #taehyung imagine #taehyung oneshot #taehyung oneshots #taehyung x reader #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x you #taehyung au #taehyung scenario

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shinelikethunder · 4 years

Note

So what is with Hannibal. I mean, I know the basic concept of the series, but what is compelling about it. I ask you this as someone whose tastes are very similar to yours. I also ask you this as someone who has always been morbidly fascinated with cannibalism, but like... survival cannibalism, not "this dude is one sick fuck" cannibalism

Oh god. Uh. How do I even begin to explain what is with Hannibal. The closest analogy I can come up with is “in musical theater terms, take the id appeal of The Phantom of the Opera but make the execution even more Sweeney Todd than any production of Sweeney Todd that’s ever been staged.” That doesn’t do it justice though. It is so many things and all of them are ridiculous:

“Let’s take a series of iconic psychological-thriller novels and adapt them into... a 3-season-long pretentious art film that’s initially forced to masquerade as a network-TV crime procedural!” Which is ludicrous enough. But on top of that, halfway through first season, the “retelling” has already shown its hand as fanfiction: they don’t have the rights to all the source material? Fine, then they will mix, match, remix, embroider, recontextualize, and allude to whatever they want to--it’s a freeform improvisation that’s based in loving, respecting, wanting more of, and also fixing (and occasionally roasting) the canon.

The pretentious art film’s aesthetic goal, which it is utterly relentless about, is to take you on a ride that obliterates the boundaries between hungry, horrified, and horny. Everything is beautiful, especially things that shouldn’t be. Everything looks disturbingly appetizing, even things that aren’t food. Everything is weirdly sexy and alluring. All of this is accomplished without flinching from how horrific the subject matter is. And it’s all intercut with characters having Deep and Thematically Relevant Conversations that sound like a bunch of vampires smoking weed and talking about their feelings. It’s just... a hell of a headspace to get drawn into.

Highly stylized yet unexpectedly earnest and heartfelt meditations on mortality, trauma, and every human’s relationship with their own potential for darkness? The more any particular character looks purely like a victim and a poor wounded bird to others, the more complicated their actual relationship to their own agency and what they've done to survive. There’s a beautiful, thoughtful, heartbreaking subplot about a marriage between two strong and dignified people when one of them falls terminally ill--and it plays out in tandem with Grand Guignol bullshit about, like, an aging serial killer who commemorates his own life’s legacy by digging up all his corpses and hacking them together into a totem pole. It’s batshit. It shouldn’t work, and yet.

It’s so incredibly fucking funny. If you’re into humor of the pitch-black and/or gallows variety. The entire show is a comedy anchored in the dramatic irony of “none of these very serious characters know they’re on a show about Hannibal ‘The Cannibal’ Lecter, Notorious Serial Killer Whose Dinner Parties You Should Avoid At All Costs.”

The central relationship is... I don’t even know how to put it. It’s operating in the same “gothic horror and/or romance” territory as, say, most vampire fiction--locating and exploring and ultimately wallowing in the part of the psyche that finds darkness alluring. But it’s very eclectic in what it pulls into that dreamscape, and it manages to sustain an incredible amount of ambivalence between allure and acknowledgement of how awful everything that’s going on really is--between giving in and trying to maintain control over your darkness. And it’s a show where “giving in” means not just acceptance but participation--it’s about falling in love with the monster, but also about people identifying with and potentially becoming monsters themselves.

And also, like, unexpected bonding between weird, fucked-up, lonely people who are used to being looked at but not used to being seen and understood and accepted. And constant power struggles between people who will never settle into a stable dynamic where either of them comes out on top. And weird relationships to vulnerability. And games of manipulation that leave room for, even celebrate, the inherent non-deterministic and unpredictable nature of even the people you know the best. And, you know, problematic murder queers who appreciate the intimacy of a good stab wound.

If you want to try it out: Watch the first 2 episodes for essential setup/context and to get a feel for how the show works. (And whether the way it does gore and horror is going to be too much. The case-of-the-week in episode 2 is... uh, it’s A Lot.) If you want to continue, awesome! If you want to keep sampling before you commit, here’s a few recs:

Peak dark-comedy romcom episode, minimal spoilers, minimal additional context needed: 1x08 Fromage, aka the human cello.

(Runner-up: 1x07 Sorbet, which is a bit structurally odd and less representative of how the show rolls, but still a fun time.)

Peak “that’s it that’s the show” episode, if you don’t mind spoilers through mid-s2 and are OK rolling with lack of context: 2x08 Su-zakana, aka the nightmare turducken.

Peak id-fic episode, spoilery as fuck and probably akin to an acid trip without context: 3x06 Dolce, in which everyone bleeds real pretty and marinates in Yearning up to their eyeballs, except the murder lesbians, who are the only ones sensible enough to just fuck already

(Runner-up: 2x10 Naka-choko, aka Relationship Status: Both “In Cahoots With” and “It’s A Trap”, aka peak inappropriately horny episode.)

#hannibal #meta #angualupin

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wazzupmrstark · 2 years

Note

I liked your “tom if ur taking requests:..” What’s your request list for Zendaya? Some fans want her to move on from Euphoria and Spider-Man to more “adult” roles, some want her to stick around for the next set of Spidey films. What do you wanna seeeee? 🎬📺🎞

oooh ok miss zendaya if you’re taking requests:

a queer romance (but like adults and not teenagers w lots of issues yk)

direct a feature length film

guest star on a comedy central roast, preferably that of tom holland bc i feel like she’s got a lot of dirt on him-

indie films!!!

ari aster or rian johnson film

also host snl pretty pls 🥺

#answered #anon #self sent #z

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giveamadeuschohisownmovie · 2 months

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theliterateape · 2 years

Text

I Like to Watch | Succession (HBO)

by Don Hall

I had been asked to participate in roasts before this one. While not a stand up comic, I could pull off the derisive meanness of the occasion successfully. The balance of speaking insulting truth but keeping it funny was usually solid. Except that for this specific roast, I had an axe to grind.

It was a roast of my former employer and friend who had fired me for standing my ground against an entitled Chicago super-producer who wanted one of my stage managers fired for doing her job. It was fresh, the organizers knew it, they anticipated I would be more than necessarily vicious, and they were right.

It was less funny and more just mean-spirited. It sounded like a roast, the construction of language was in the form of jokes, but the tone underneath and permeated throughout was nothing less than acid reflux vomited upon my beleaguered friend. People laughed in the first half but stopped laughing by the end. I believe that it must've been like the scene from The Untouchables where DeNiro (as Capone) is talking baseball. Lots of good natured guffaws until he takes the bat and bashes the man's skull in.

It was supposed to be funny but it decidedly was not.

I like roasts. The old Dean Martin Friar's Club roasts were fun, funny, and demonstrated the good natured ball busting of friendship in an earlier age. The Jeff Ross Comedy Central roasts miss out on having actual friends knock each other's nuts around but mostly get funny people to do the cookery. Once in a while, though, Ross books someone who doesn't quite understand the humor and it feels off.

Edward Norton roasting Bruce Willis is a perfect example. Norton is a more serious guy with a few issues of his own. I'm certain he had legit joke writers pen his insults but his delivery felt strange and uncomfortable. It flopped but in a way that you can't quite look away like seeing a decapitated head roll out of a Honda after an accident with a huge grin on the face.

Imagine Seinfeld performed by Christian Bale as Jerry, Edward Norton as George, Cate Blanchett as Elaine, Daniel Day-Lewis as Kramer.

JERRY: So three dates and she still won't let me play with her toys.

KRAMER: That's interesting. You know someone mentioned to me you were not very happy with your toys growing up.

JERRY: Yeah, that was me.

KRAMER: Oh, that's right, right, right. And uh you mentioned that uh, you didn't get a G.I. Joe. You had.

JERRY: An Army Pete.

KRAMER: Right.

JERRY: He was made of wood and in the rain he would swell up and then split.

KRAMER: And we all know how painful that can be.

ELAINE: Jerry

KRAMER: Oh, Elaine Benes. Well, this is quite a thrill, yes. Come on sit down. Yes.

ELAINE: Well, I'll tell ya, this sidler guy is really chapping my hide.

KRAMER: Excuse me yeah. We're talking ... this way.

ELAINE: Well, he's getting credit for work I did! He's gonna sidle me right out of a job.

KRAMER: Now, for those of us who don't know, uh, sidling is what?

ELAINE: Kramer, what is wrong with you?

KRAMER: What do you mean?

ELAINE: Well, for starters, you're looking at note cards I'm gonna have to give that guy a taste

of his own medicine, so, I'm going to sidle the sidler.

JERRY: You, sidle? You ... you stomp around like a Clydesdale!

ELAINE: Not with these honeys. ... Wrestling shoes!

KRAMER: Only in New York. ... ha ha

GEORGE: Jerry?

KRAMER: Oh! Well, ladies and gentlemen! It's our good friend, George Costanza! What a surprise!

Yeah, sit, sit, sit.. Weeell!

GEORGE: Well, it happened again.

JERRY: What happened?

KRAMER: tut tut , I'll ask the questions. What happened?

GEORGE: Well, I just stomped some pigeons in the park. They - they didn't move.

KRAMER: All right, let's change the subject. Now, uh you and Jerry dated for a while. Tell us ... what

was that like? That was the wrong card.

GEORGE: I I don't get these birds! They're breaking the deal. It's like the pigeons decided to ignore me!

JERRY: So they're like everyone else.

The episode plays out as such:

George (Norton) is accidentally massacring the pigeons who, for some reason, are breaking “the deal,” Elaine (Blanchet) is creeped out by a new employee who keeps sidling on her so she decides to sidle him, and Jerry (Bale) is upset that the woman he’s dating won’t let him play with her incredible toy collection so he drugs her. It all goes from bad to worse when Norton runs over a squirrel and spends a fortune to save its life, Blanchet’s plan to sidle the "sidler" backfires causing her to give him some noise-making Tic-Tacs which annoy Peterman, and Bale keeps drugging his girlfriend so that he, Norton and Blanchet can play with her toys. Unfortunately for Bale, Kramer (Day-Lewis) exposes him on his show, now in the format Scandals and Animals. Meanwhile, birds get revenge on Norton when a hawk attacks him and his new pet squirrel.

The intent is funny but the delivery is off. The tone shifts and the inhumanity of sociopathy rears up in full force.

I grew up with Dallas, Knots Landing, Dynasty. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. There was a fascination in the eighties with the high drama of fabulously wealthy people doing shitty things to one another. This wasn't new—Shakespeare made his bones with plays about kings and queens fucking each other over for pleasure and power. We plebes on the lower end of the American caste system seem to eat this up with plastic cutlery, the gravy of lust and intrigue set in Tuscany villas dripping from our chins in huge dollops.

I was never much of a fan but I'll admit to being sucked in a bit by this half worship/half disdain for those in the upper crust cutting each other's throats. Live a lifetime and the fascination fades like ocean sounds from a sleep aid box.

Then I caught an episode of Billions.

Paul Giamatti as U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York Chuck Roades versus Damian Lewis as Peter Thiel tech billionaire Bobby Axelrod with writing that stinks of lofty Shakespearean ambitions, this was some fantastic television.

With spectacular lines like:

"Deflating like a Tijuana breast implant."

"I miss him like the case of crabs I had freshman year."

"Dumping like a drey horse on an all taco diet."

I couldn't get enough.

So when Adam McKay was said to be producing a series about the Roys (a proxy for Rupert Murdoch's tabloid kingdom) I was hesitant but interested. Like so many of the most popular things on television, I waited while the breathless masses consumed it, tweeted about it, wrote thinkpieces about it, all while casually avoiding spoilers in general.

Two months ago, I thought "What the hell?" I dove in to the putrid waters of Succession.

I hated it. I loved it. But I really hated it. I loved the score (especially the opening which I ended up watching every single episode because the music is so ridiculously Punch Drunk Love perfect). I hated every character, every scene, every moment.

Jeremy Strong as Kendall Roy, the heir apparent but struggling so hard to be a badass with a hip hop soul I wanted to run from the room every time he appeared. Sarah Snook as Siobhan "Shiv" Roy, the daughter who I thought might be the one decent person in the family but who is as sucky and conniving as the rest. Kieran Culkin as Roman Roy (yes, that Kieran Culkin) the fuck up brother with an acid tongue. Alan Ruck as Connor Roy (yes, that Alan Ruck) the only child from Logan Roy's first marriage.

Brian Cox heads the whole thing as Logan Roy, the old school villain in charge.

This series is like King Lear if Shakespeare decided to write a thirty-hour version that simply kept repeating the basic plot line over and over. The three seasons are thin as rice paper in terms of plot: Logan is looking for a replacement from one of his three children, all spoiled, entitled morons (thus the name of the series), Kendall tries to kill him and fails, Shiv tries to ingratiate him with her sub par knowledge and unwarranted savvy, Roman cracks wise and sucks up to get ahead, and Connor is sidelined but fine with living off the teat of privilege just as long as the milk never runs dry.

There are no redeemable characters in this. Everyone from cousin Greg to husband Tom to wives, girlfriends, compatriots in business, reveal themselves to be completely devoid of any human capacity for empathy or self reflection. This is an entire show devoted to the most cutthroat, broken whores in existence.

Should be a barrel of laughs, right? I mean, Adam McKay and Will Ferrell are co-producers, right? Cue the laugh track and the slight mugging.

But, no.

The script reads like a Seinfeld episode but the actors play this straight as an arrow. The disconnect in style, in tone, makes it bizarrely interesting. Interesting enough to keep me glued to every word, every glance, every stupid dick pic sent by mistake as if these awful people could really be this horrifying in life and not be murdered by the help in two episodes.

Succession is a bowl of olive-flavored ice cream. The contrast between what you think you're getting and what you inevitably put in your mouth creates a cognitive dissonance that can't be dismissed. You keep eating it because you are in denial that it looks like chocolate mint but tastes like a pimento loaf.

I can't wait for season four.

#I Like to Watch #Succession #Seinfeld

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thegreymoon · 2 years

Text

Broker

What better way to celebrate Luo Yunxi going back to work than by watching Broker? 😋

***

LMAOOOO, did her crazy sister book a hotel room for them? A hotel room to have sex in? With a water bed?? 🤣🤣

Oh, yes, that will fix all their problems 🤣🤣

***

LMAO, this is going as well as expected 🤣🤣

I’ll be very shocked if anything even remotely resembling sex happens here 🤣🤣 With that said, the two of them have zero chemistry. None at all. I just can’t imagine them together. When I think back to Bai Lu and Love is Sweet, you could just tell that the two of them could barely restrain themselves from ripping each other’s clothes off and going at it any time, any place. But these two don’t even feel like they are in the same world together, let alone the same room, or in this case, the same bed.

***

LMAOOOO, she actually checked under the covers if she’s still dressed 🤣🤣

And not only is she still dressed, she’s even still wearing her fucking coat 🤣🤣

Girl, you’re a disaster, but at least they both got a nice nap out of this whole... debacle 🤣🤣

***

YOU ARE A CORPORATE SPY!!

I mean, LYX is cute and all, but Jianing needs to run FAR and FAST.

***

OK, so where else was he supposed to take his girlfriend? Please enlighten me!

The people in this office are absolutely ridiculous and really need to learn to mind their own business.

With that said, I hope she lets it slip to the idiot secretary that ZXS brought a girl home, just so that we can watch her have a meltdown 😆😆

***

I can’t believe they turned out to be my favourite ship on this show 😆

They are wonderful and I’m so invested in this relationship!

***

LMAOOO 🤣🤣

This is him 👇👇

This is the guy in the picture 👇👇

I am crying 🤣🤣

***

LMAOOO, wtf.

Chunrarn, you work in a pharmaceutical lab. I’m sure you know how to cook up so many great poisons that will make him suffer but still be hard to detect! You have the skills! The means! The opportunity! Please kill him. Kill him for us all!

***

I am dead and buried 🤣🤣

I need a full comedy drama of this man making a fool of himself and getting roasted/robbed blind by the women he gets set up with.

***

Yes, be ashamed you loser.

I am frankly sick of the trope where the chubby but good-hearted guy ends up with a girlfriend who looks like she stepped right off the runway because the opposite never happens, so I was really looking forward to seeing it reversed here (although I am going to refrain from airing my judgement on the state of his hotness and her chubbiness), but he’s really pathetic.

***

God, he’s such a waste of oxygen 🤮

Chunran deserves better than some half-grown, immature imbecile who is ashamed of liking her. Fuck him. Fuck him with a cactus. 🌵🌵

***

It is with great surprise that I have to report that these two have, in fact, stopped being annoying almost entirely.

How? Why? I don’t know, but I this change pleases me.

***

WAIT, SHE’S YU-ER’S MOTHER????

AND SHE NEVER COMES AND VISITS HER SICK CHILD BECAUSE SHE IS “TOO BUSY”???????????????????

***

LMAO, what the fuck is she wearing?

She’s supposed to be at work, not a cocktail party!

***

SHE SAID IT AND THIS IS A HILL I’M DYING ON.

Xiaoshan is plenty manipulative and shady, but this is one thing I will not let them malign him on, he clearly wanted them to be open, and she didn’t want daddy to find out.

I HAVE RECEIPTS.

***

LMAOOO, so much for ‘best friends’ 💀💀

If your ‘best friend’ doesn’t know you have a child, much less a terminally ill child, you are either not much of a friend or much of a mother. Or both.

***

Yes, Jiaxin, your girlfriend is hot 🔥🔥

She’s so smitten, LMAO 😆😆

***

Girl, he’s red flag central 😫😫

Run, Jianing, run! Or at the very least discuss with a therapist why you insist on dating him when you clearly see him waving those red flags and still choose to ignore them.

***

Mte, Jiaxin. Mte 🙄🙄

I can’t believe we are at a stage where she is the most reasonable and mostly sane character. This is, indeed, the darkest timeline.

***

Lady, the two of you are not friends.

You are casual acquaintances who go clubbing together from time to time at best. I thought Qianya was untrustworthy and a liar, but Jianing never asked?? Really?? In ten years of ‘friendship’, you never met a single family member or heard them talk about them? She has a whole ass elementary school child that she never told you about? THERE ARE RANDOM TUMBLRS I IDENTIFY ONLY BY THE USERNAME AND ICON THAT I KNOW MORE ABOUT THAN SHE DOES ABOUT HER SO-CALLED ‘FRIEND’.

***

This height/size difference 😅😅

With that said, this is so toxic and fantastically creepy. Qin Bin has no business approaching Xiaoshan like this. Jianing is a woman who turned him down clearly and repeatedly and very much drew the boundary at having a professional relationship only. And here he is, having a ‘little talk’ with her boyfriend, menacing and threatening him. Qin Bin continuing to pester her even after she clearly said no and even reiterated that she was already in a relationship when he wouldn’t relent (not to mention his creepy, sexist ‘jokes’ he likes to crack in public at her expense) was already way over the line, but this is retraining order territory. If I was Jianing and found out about this, I would be a) embarrassed, and b) beyond pissed off. I’d never speak to him again.

***

LMAO, what a prize you are! 🤣🤣

I swear, they put him into this show to distract us from how much of a creep the two above him are being 🤣🤣 They seem mild in comparison to this loser and, yeah, at least they are handsome.

***

With parents like these, who needs enemies?

Girl, if no contact with your asshole parents is not an option, then low contact should certainly be! You are 30 years old, stop entertaining their bullshit and letting it affect your mental health!

#luo yunxi #victoria song #broker #broker spoilers #broker ep17 #broker ep18

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ahalal-uralma · 3 years

Text

OP by @vestige-of-thorns acting like she hasn’t been sending me anon hate. She is quoting the things she’s already said to me on anon hate like calling me a borderline sociopath. Calling me repeatedly the vampire stalker is comical, by the way. I’m starting to think about branding that on a shirt, or something. Careful, I do not bite you while you’re typing vitriol. You might turn literate.

You are late to be pulling that card out of your deck, honey. You’ve already admitted to doing it. People have proof you’ve been privately sending them hateful messages directly from your own account as you promised you would to anyone defending me (a promise yet again done on anonymous hate you sent to me).

People can explore my #drama tags to keep track of everything you have said and done to me. Obviously, if it was other friends of yours—they would have corrected me a long time ago not to tag you, as I’ve warned you I would do, in the hopes of protecting you and keeping you from being falsely blamed.

But, obviously you are the guilty one. No one has run to defend your innocence, because it does not exist. And knowing how original you are, I can bet good money that will be your next scheme. I already know you’ll try to think of something knowing each and every fiasco to this present moment is failing you miserably. You keep trying to manifest new plots, but they always ricochet. Maybe, just consider being a good person and shutting the hell up?

I love how you and Tessa are attempting to put words in my mouth in the meantime that I’ve never said, this is like punching yourself in the face. There are people who actually know how to read and are paying attention to what I have to say. They know a rant about my beauty does not exist. Do not put false quotations. I feel like people believing you at this point are people choosing out of purely their own bias.

PS. Of course, Tessa (aka mybloodiedvalentine) just had to reblog Vestige’s rant and add in this:

Oh, Tessa. I am more than aware you are not above being desperate for attention. “She’s just begging for a petty middle school roast” is the level of elementary thinking I would expect from you by now. “Girl you’re not cute” and yet, my looks are always the central point of every rant you two women make about me. Almost. Every. Single. Time.

You both complain I write too much, but seriously what is all this nonsense? You’re just both bitter I can bring up proof against you. You continue to complain about things I say without once showing screenshots for honest context.

“She’s been out of control for years and apparently keeps making issues for people” and once again, we will all ask you for real evidence. “I’m about to start making fun of her like Comedy Central Roast Style.” Do that. You are like talking about emulating the most cringe of television. No one will take that seriously or find it funny. People stopped finding it funny since the mid-90’s. It’s why they keep having to rerun South Park. It’s the only thing left anyone will watch. And even that is cringe. But, go off. Whatever comforts.

Honestly, you are both growing very tedious to deal with. Go take up knitting or something. Get a real hobby. Stop acting like you’re not haters, when every action continues to be hateful. It’s a waste of your energy and time. Please consider going back to school and getting an education, since you both seem very distressed by reading. Just make sure your hobby isn’t continuing the path of brain rot that watching Comedy Central has turned into.

Also, for those wondering why I have been responding, it’s so @staff has continued proof. Private reports are one among millions. They can get lost. Posts are the things that get the most attention and response. At minimal, it will give them more to reference. Sooner or later Staff will need to notice the abuse.

Also, from a legal standpoint, it’s creating records. Even if my abusers change accounts, there is a link and record. Records are always traceable, even if they’re trying to hide on proxy servers or alter identities between profiles. They might be able to trick bystanders, but you can not trick investigators and lawyers. Every little thing that is happening I am documenting and backing up. They might laugh now, but it won’t be amusing when the day comes and I have to press charges.

#personal #drama #text

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sailorvinus · 3 years

Note

Aieeeee Vi-chan! Well, I guess I fucked up already — you probably know who it is, huh? Hey, uh, listen. I know I give you shit all the time for being you, but really, I mean that in the most flattering way possible. Let’s fight in the street the next time we see each other. Lose a few teeth, kiss a little, take a trip to the ER, kiss a little, try to kill each other, kiss a little... You get the idea. Kiss me, dammit!!

✨ @goodluckgokudo i mean who is this is it an anon. meme. still accepting!

Okay, Hideo. Way to sell yourself out before even gettin' to the fucking point. Jeez. Virote leaned his head against the door, listened closely, and rolled his eyes the moment Hideo opened his mouth from the other side. Some guessing game. Wasn't he supposed to be hiding his identity? Still, Virote was rendered to a semi-melted, mushy state. Hideo could be sweet when he wanted. When they weren't trying to slam dunk each other into a trashcan and perform roasts fit only for the best stages of Comedy Central. Through all of the ribbing and riffing they did on each other, there were feelings there. From Virote's side, at least. Not entirely sure if it could be all chalked up to love, but it was something similar. Love-flavored, something like that.

Sometimes, he wondered if Hideo even wanted to be around him. Then, again...

... If Hideo didn't want to be around him, he wouldn't be. Right? Right?

❝Listen to you,❞ he finally said, mouth nearly touching the door, hands pressed flat against it. ❝You can't live without me, can you? I'll take you up on your offer, though. I'll smack the shit out of you in the middle of Shibuya and then I'll kiss you in Yoyogi Park. How's that?❞ Virote let a hand make way to the doorknob, turning it a bit so he could get a small glance of Hideo through the slightest crack. Tiny, tiny glimpse. ❝I'll kiss you wherever you want. Have I ever told you that I think you have a pinecone for a brain? Have I? You fuckin’ dipshit?❞

#( 🌙 MAIN! IT'S YOUR LOCAL MAGICAL BOY & DEMIGOD. ✨ )#goodluckgokudo #/ vi: omg... fuckin moron. im in luv with u. -_-#anonymous

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growingupautie · 4 years

Text

Storytime: "An Ignorant Proposal"

When I was a bit younger, I was grocery shopping with the rest of the Wallmartians in an unnamed superstore. *cough* I often people watch when I am out and about because it helps me (an Autistic person) learn how to navigate different personality types, situations, etc based on what I/we observe. So that is what I was doing.

That day, nothing was out of the ordinary for most of my trip until suddenly I overhear a clearly upset young woman being bullied by everyone in her family. They were calling her unattractive, telling her she was a nerd, and would "never get a man." They called her stupid using a more vulgar term and made fun of various other aspects about her.

My ears and face were turning red not because I was embarrassed for her, but instead because I was enraged at how she was being treated by her own family. I too knew that feeling as I was also the go too whipping boy in my family, and I was making it pretty clear that I was unhappy about this happening to her. At least to me.

Honestly, they could've thought I was upset that they were noisy, or in the way, or many other reasons, but before I could take the time to clarify, the "dad" gives one more "you'll never get a man" joke and then looks at me.

I gave my signature raised eyebrow look with a tinge of "ok?..." and missing my pretty obvious facial expressions he said "Hey!" and decided to bring me into their conversation. "Hey! Let me ask you a question!" he said as he put his arm around her in a jokingly caring way.

He yelled at me continuing his Comedy Central roast of his daughter. "Can you tell my daughter why no man like you would ever want to date her?" he laughed to himself probably not expecting an answer. "Uh...Sure actually." I said back putting something in my cart. His face lit up clearly thinking I had planned to tear her down with the rest of them family.

The girl was visibly upset by that time. She had tears in her eyes and I felt the familiar ache in her heart. The mom, dad, and younger sister had obviously been picking on her for a while. I walked closer to her. She had glasses like me, long brownish blackish hair, she seemed incredibly intelligent which to me explained the ignorant bullying by those around her, and then I realized there was a good chance she herself was Autistic..."Ok..." I said after taking everything in.

"Your daughter is..." I started, as her dad leaned in with an ignorant look. "a beautiful person..." I continued as his face became confused. "She has her own style, she has an amazing personality, and she seems like an extremely brilliant person." His face soured with an even more confused look which turned into a somewhat embarrassed ignorant grimace.

"Honestly, if I wasn't completely spoken for, I would definitely consider dating her." She smiled and a sort of unspoken "Thank you" not for saying that I would, but for standing up for her and proving them wrong. I paused.

"There is one glaring drawback though..." I said. But before anyone could ask me what it was I added: "Her dad is a huge prick." her entire family's mouths fell open in absolute shock. "Yeah. Doesn't feel so great does it." I said to him. I looked back at her and told her something that took me a long time to learn.

"Never confuse your worth with the inability of the people around you to see it."

I glanced at her family and back at her. I nodded at her with a smile and said "Miss" to excuse myself, looked back at him and nodded in a similar fashion but with a disgusted look. "Human" and walked off to continue shopping.

The moral here isn't "Cool guy Nathan does it again." It's what I said earlier. People are not good at judging worth. They are only good at judging worth as it pertains to their wants and needs. (and even then it's questionable.)

And some people use their ignorance to parade their ignorant opinions of what has value or not as fact when in fact it can barely be classified as opinion half the time because it is probably being parroted from an equally ignorant source.

So as I said before. Don't confuse your worth with the inability of the people around you to see it. And don't confuse people's opinions as facts no matter how adamant they seem. This is a common Autistic pitfall as we take other people's certainty as fact. It is not. Oh lord, it is not.

You are and have always been worth more than any opinion anyone has ever had about you.

-Nathan McConnell

Stay tuned for an important message from [Growing Up Aspie]

#illustration #story #storytime #autism #autistic #growingupaspie #aspie #aspergers #autism support #worth #selfworth #self worth

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