#feels like I’m being gaslighted

[millenianthemums]

parents of disabled kids will be like “we know our kid is disabled but we just won’t tell them about it. we don’t want them to think they’re less valuable than other kids. we don’t want them to feel limited by their disability, we want them to know they’re capable of anything.”

meanwhile those kids are growing up thinking “why is everything so much harder for me than it is for everyone else? there’s no reason i shouldn’t be able to just do this. i guess i’m just a failed, broken person.”

#text post #ableism #like if you don’t want to get your kid diagnosed with something then that’s one thing #but not KNOWING what’s wrong with them isn’t gonna make the problem just magically disappear #and just personally speaking. SO MANY things i do that i used to feel such deep shame about? #i now realize they were because i’m autistic #the meltdowns the social awkwardness etc #and i feel so much better to know i wasn’t just being whiny or difficult or weird for no reason #i feel like my whole life i’ve been gaslighted into not knowing what i really feel #because everyone always told me i was being ‘dramatic’ or ‘too sensitive’ and eventually i decided they must be right #so now i literally can’t tell what i’m feeling sometimes #because i dismiss my own feelings as stupid and wrong

[apotelesmaa]

Norma is objectively one of the funniest psychonauts characters though. she immediately assumes this 10 year old is the mole taking down the psychonauts from the inside and decides the best way to gather information is to stalk his dad. Ruins ford and raz’s plan to defeat maligula by being a snitch. Helped save the day by fixing the problem she caused. Is now in hell because she was wrong and all the other kids make her fortnite dance and shout go snitch girl go. Her sister got all the cool genes and now she’s stuck being an insufferable nerd. Probably says “well actually” at least ten times a day. Beefing with a 10 year old. Let’s give it up for pathetic & annoying female characters (fond).

#psychonauts #i don’t even think her thinking raz was the mole was unreasonable tbh #like obviously the adults are like this 10 year old isn’t the snitch #but she’s close enough to his age to not see that as an excuse and also I feel like that just made her feel like she was #the only one who could do anything about it. #by virtue of being the main character raz was involved in a lot of shit that made him seem suspicious #like I do enjoy her a lot even if I don’t necessarily agree with a lot of the fanon interpretations of her character #& I would love to see her and raz be worsties one day #because yes raz is only ten but he absolutely contributes to their beef on purpose #it’s like one of those things where u can’t snitch on him for being an ass because he’s ten and you’re a teenager #& people are like ohh norma come on he’s just 10 stop beefing with a child that’s stupid #and behind their back raz is making faces at her #i think they have great potential for antagonistic sibling energy once they get to know each other #raz behaves normally around the rest of the jr agents specifically to gaslight norma into thinking she’s an idiot for beefing with a child. #lili & lizzie would also absolutely help with this #god esp because raz has endeared himself so much to all of the big name agents AND Truman zanotto #i need 2 play psychonauts 2 again I’m so normal about this game

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

i’ve said this so many FUCKING times but i literally cannot fucking believe izzy taunts ed with “piiining for his boyfriend” and people are really out here on tumblr dot com and also twitter i assume idk saying with their entire fucking chest “izzy’s not homophobic. that’s not a homophobic thing to say.” what fucking planet are you people from

#mine #txt #if this post is in the izcourse tag no it isnt u just dont know how to use tumblr #ofmd fandom crit #izzy hands #izzy critical #s1e10 #i was in the tma fandom and in the last season there’s a part where the main character and his bf run into some guy #and the guy is like “who’s this? your boyfriend?” and we aaaaaall understood that this was homophobic!! #like what the fuck is going on. i feel like i’m being gaslighted like what do you M E A N that’s not homophobic??????? #og

[hella1975]

‘you don’t seem too happy tho :(’ cunt I’ll bite you

#THE ACTUAL CHEEK OF HER LET ME CALM DOWN BEFORE I RANT FUCK MEEEEE THIS GIRL THIS GIRLYPOP EVEN #right so I’ve got a mate that I fell out with a couple weeks ago and she’s not confrontational but she IS the type to hold grudges #and express them in like. really petty ways. so like we settled our argument ages ago and I moved on bc i have a life #BUT IT’S OUR OTHER MATE’S BDAY PARTY TODAY AND IM NOT THAT CLOSE WITH THIS MATE BUT THIS GIRL IS HER FLATMATE YEAH #SO EVEN IF THAT MATE DIDNT INVITE ME DIRECTLY THEN THIS OTHER MATE THAT I AM CLOSER WITH WOULD HAVE #bc basically me her and another girl make a trip like we’re very close and it’s a very rigid trio set up #like you CANNOT invite two and not the other yk? guess what she fucking did #i only FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS PARTY BC THE THIRD GIRL IN OUR TRIO VERY CASUALLY WAS LIKE OH WHAT R U GONNA WEAR #AND I WAS LIKE??? TO WHAT??? AND SHE WAS SO BAMBOOZLED BC THATS HOW MUCH OF A GIVEN IT WAS THAT ID BE INVITED #BC MY MATE INVITED HER BUT NOT ME #and I’ve known that since yesterday morning but I was like okayyy okay im saying nothing am I fuck getting aggy bc I didn’t get INVITED #like that’s embarassing I’m staying silent. which I stick to until suddenly 5pm today #my mate that invited the other girl but not me messages me going #‘are you coming?’ GIRL??? AND THEN PROCEEDS TO TRY GASLIGHT ME LIKE ‘I MESSAGED YOU ABOUT IT’ #YOU DID IN FACT NOT #AND I CANT PROVE SHES BEING INNOCENT AND PETTY BC WE FELL OUT AGES AGO BUT IT CERTAINLY FUCKING FEES LIKE IT #and even tho id acc like to have gone to that party I cut my nose off and was like nah im gonna sit this one out it’s just awkward now innit #and she was backtracking by that point bc i think she thought she’d just make me feel marginally uncomfortable and then I’d crawl over #like no bitch!!! and yeah I was a bit mardy on text and she HITS ME WITH THIS #‘are you okay’ ‘yeah you two have fun’ ‘you don’t seem too happy tho?’ YOU FUCKING RECKON??? #furious tbh im scheming over how to retaliate even though i KNOW i shouldnt #petty petty girls grow up pls #hella goes to uni

[rosicheeks]

😶

#I feel like I’m on a teetor totter today #I’m not as sad as the other days #so I keep gaslighting myself into thinking I’m ok and I actually don’t need to see anyone #I’m just being a drama queen and need to grow up #but then the other part of me knows I don’t want to live like this the rest of my life #so here we are #shut up rosie

[prfctmxxnlight]

i’m just saying that if byler isn’t actually canon, the duffer brother, netflix and literally everyone involved in getting my hopes up will be reaching a new low,, and on pRIDE MONTH!?

#byler better be canon #i feel like i’m being gaslighted by the cast #and also queerbaited #i really hope im wrong tho #byler #mike wheeler #will byers #finn wolfhard #noah schnapp #stranger things #stranger things 4 #netflix #the duffer brothers

[melody-chii]

i don’t want to be insane but istg jesus was meant to be dead for three days. 3 days = 72 hours and he gets ganked on a friday at an unknown time but presumably when the sun was up because electrical lighting didn’t exist yet so doing anything at night that required eyeballs was impractical. this means anywhere from 7am to 6pm (approximately because idk the longitude/latitude).

as such, it would be:

die friday 7am-6pm + 24h

= saturday 7am-6pm + 24h

= sunday 7am-6pm + 24h

= monday 7am-6pm

boom 72hour slowcook achieved

resurrection ascend to heaven etc

hence there is good friday and easter monday.

today, everyone at work insisted that he resurrected on sunday and that easter monday only exists so we could have an extra public holiday. this makes sense but also does not and i’m starting to feel like i’m failing maths.

#i could google this but i won’t #it amuses me too much #easter #maths #bible study #christianity #72h slow cooked jesus corpse #resurrection #i feel like i’m being gaslighted i’m ngl

[a-crack-kinda-girl]

#i’m going through it again #it’s just ajdjjdjdjd 🪦 #the fact that it went SO BAD #when the ‘lacho’ path was so near and also made sense ????? #like i feel like i’m being gaslighted into thinking what happened was the natural plot progression IT WASNT- #IT WASNT I WILL KEEP SAYING THIS UNTIL VINCE COMES ANGETS ME #🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣💥 #lacho #ALSO SEVEN PAGES ?????? ajdjsjdjdjdj let me go pls pleas pleak

[redhotarsenic]

I cannot keep taking this much pain medication I am going to poison myself at this rate

#but also. the cramping is so bad. agh. #like. it doesn’t feel like it’s working very well #maybe a little? but not enough for me to walk around comfortably #just gonna make myself some tea and get something to eat and lay down #I’m also simultaneously gaslighting myself into thinking that I’m probably not even hurting that bad and I’m being a big baby rn #which is fun!

[biohazardousvoidwithfangs]

is there any way to heal the schizoid dilemma at all? like I mean is there any way to relieve the engulfment feeling or to make it occur less often? to like increase the threshold for it to appear? I’m not sure I’m making any sense. Is the schizoid dilemma something that exposure therapy can help with? if you throw yourself into situations, force yourself to be social and push through the violent urge to ghost everyone and isolate, does the feeling get better over time? Or is that a sure fire way to make yourself feel drastically worse?

I tried to google therapy for schizoids and everything seems to be … very much from an outsiders perspective, someone with no clue of the actual inner thought processes or how to soothe those. It’s more about how to gaslight the schizoid (with cbt) into appearing normal than it is to help them dissociate less or to feel less stress around socializing (or maybe it’s just me) So I can’t find any good answers. And I don’t know where that leaves me

#actuallyschizoid #actuallynd #schizoid #schizoid personality disorder #fey talks #I feel like I’m too self aware for my own food #for my own good #like I am painfully aware that socializing makes me dissociate #but that isolating myself causes me to lose touch of reality and my sense of self starts to degrade #socializing makes me feel suffocated and choked but being alone feels isolating and alienating #I know I should want friends that friends are good for me #but all I can think about it is how much work it is and how much I hate texting people #idk #I’m just so tired #i wish there was a fix #or a way to mitigate the pain #I’m not interested in cbt gaslighting myself #these are real issues stemming from real childhood trauma #it’s just who I am at this point #it’s not trauma I can heal from #not in the way most people seem to be able to #I don’t think I’ll ever stop experiencing the schizoid dilemma #but gods I wish I could make it hurt less

[opiotes-thoughtvomit]

Okay well to no one’s surprise my physical therapist also seems convinced that there’s nothing wrong with me and I just have to fucking stretch it off I guess

#I have fucking had it with healthcare workers seriously #and now that I think back on it too my PD was always thinking that my ailments were connected to me being an addict #like with the PVNS in my arm her first thought was to make sure it wasn’t an infection from shooting up #I haven’t shot up in years?????? #like can you fucking treat me like a person and not someone jst making up pain for pills or whatever the fuck it is you think I’m doing #I want to fucking scream at these people I feel like I’m being gaslighted by every healthcare person I’ve talked to about this

[mycological-mariner]

encephalopathy really does suck ngl coz it’s like “oh I wanna articulate something but I don’t know what that thing is or why I want to articulate it and haven’t we had this conversation already and sorry I’ve just forgotten your name and what is the name of that thing you use to call people on shotgun?? anyways sorry for being repetitive don’t mean to be annoying what were I saying?”

#it’s like this cycle of your own brain just gaslighting you #memory loss is a pain #spelling is a pain #not being able to communicate is a pain #it’s honestly frustrating and makes you wanna just cry #actively struggling to carry a conversation because you keep getting confused #and when it’s in person you can barely hear them it’s like listening to random noises that kinda sound like human speech #at least online I can scroll back and read previous messages #encephalopathy you mother fucker lol #it feels like it’s worse but probably I’m just imagining things #probably just stress #anyways #rambling #delete later

[eternalpassions]

How is there people who unironically ship Jackie x Kelso xD

#that 70's show #anti jelso #like I’m not saying don’t ship it obviously #but they don’t make any sense #they were so disfuncional and toxic #his serial cheating #and always gaslighting her and blaming it on him being stupid #and he didn’t feel guilty until it happened to him too #and pressuring her to have sex #and her always belittling him and making him unhappy #they just didn’t make each other happy tbh #they deserve better than each other #I think people ship it cuz they ship the actors irl #like they’re like that miserable basic straight couple you see at school #only with each other for looks

[formulapisces]

i’m just not excited for this race i feel bored already 😭 i’m just not feeling the hype

#dutch gp 2023 #i’m just 🧍 #i know they have to be like WOWWW THIS WEEKEND IS SO EXCITING because obviously it’s business and you can’t just say #okay welcome back to another race i guess… #but i feel like i’m being gaslit by f1 teams 😭😭😭 #zandvoort has just never been my weekend (not because of max before people start - i’ve just never enjoyed it since it’s been here) #f1 admins stop gaslighting me it’s making me upset #f1

[intraosseous]

it is actually unreal how much i hate going to my parents’ home

#rant in tags #every fucking time it’s horrible at the beginning and then looks like it might be okay and then one or both of my parents corners me #and start being so fucking awful #going makes me feel paranoid and crazy and i am so fucking tired of it all #well. that’s probably just the constant gaslighting and manipulation actually #it’s not even that i get my hopes up or anything anymore #i just try to be slippery enough that they can’t sink their claws in while i hang out with my sisters #but in other news ! i’m living in constant sin by essence of my existence and also an idiot and a heretic #if anyone was wondering #literally the only thing i have to show for this visit is my new fucking bloody knuckles and memory of my sisters’ smiles #i am so drained and it’s not even 8 am. however have been dealing with this since eleven o’clock last night #my head hurts my hands hurt my body hurts #i just want to die #personal / #dont rb #delete later